#in the episode where he’s giving a speech at his moms funeral

[ink-the-artist]

“Social media has made this generation so narcissistic and self centered everyone’s always posting selfies and posting about everything they do during the day” shut up. The human desire to show you exist and you were here is innate and we’ve been doing it since the days we were leaving hand prints on cave walls

[bloop-bl00p]

“Fîls de joie” What Poison could have been.

TW: Mention of Sexual Assault, Sexual Abuse, Rape, Drugs, Addiction, Manipulation, Mention of Fetish and sex in general, mention of Sex works, Raphielle II don’t go harras him and respect his pronouns

I’m trying to be a writer and I understand writing about taboos and controversial things is difficult. I only write about what I know which is the effect of emotional and physical abuse and religious traumas. Notheless if I’m trying to do something out of my domain of expertise I’ll research it to respect the concerned part of the audience.

Vivienne Medrano said that people who’ve been sexually abused helped write episode 4. Part of me wants to believe it, it’s most likely true, it’s the best thing a writer can do, let knowledgeable people help and not just rely on sites about psychology. But, with how rape and assault are presented sometimes it really feels like she’s lying.

Angel Dust is the only character whose abuse is presented as serious.

Stolas kept belittling Bliztø and kept talking dirty even when the Man was in danger

You cannot tell me that he couldn't hear the gunshot through the phone, in this scene, he keeps making his disgusting speech. Blitzø was practically forced to make the deal as he wasn't in a situation where he could process his thoughts clearly since he was trying to survive

And it was a joke.

Angels Dusk kept harassing Husk throughout the series but he never once apologized. Yes, it stopped after Looser Baby but he should have a mindful conversation with Husk and genuinely say sorry about his behavior.

“It starts with sowwy🥺” What’s the point of having this song if the characters don’t follow through with the lesson?

Those scenes were mostly jokes.

And I haven’t mentioned Sir Pentious getting dragged while being drunk in a sex room, or Moxie being kissed by Succubus despite mentioning he didn't want any of that.

AAaaAaaaAh look at these men, being uncomfortable because they are touched and talked down despite verbally addressing their discomfort! That hilarious!

I want to believe she cares, I’m a fan of these shows, I know it doesn't look like it but I’ve been hooked since the Pilots. Not only was I disappointed at the final result but I was also shocked to learn Medrano is simply just an asshole with too much money in her bag.

Poison failed where Fîls de Joie succeeded:

Before reading any of what I wrote you should listen to it, there are English subtitles. And honestly, it's a good song on its own.

What’s the context of Fîls de Joie?

A sex worker died and her son is holding funerals for her. You can guess it with the wordplay in the title, Fille de Joie (Girl of Joy) is one of the many ways to say prostitute in French. Fîls (son) de Joie is a way to say that he’s the son of a sex worker.

While sung by the same man, you can notice that Stromae gives us four POVs in the song, the son in the chorus, a client, the pimp, and a policeman.

Everyone besides the son is a hypocrite and relatively an asshole. But even if those verses are self-centered and a pathetic attempt from these men to bring sympathy to themselves, despite never hearing the story directly from the Woman, you can guess exactly how her life was and you sympathize with her. It tells us a story, her story.

This woman was a good mother, and it shows how much the son insisted on leaving her alone, speaking proudly of her despite acknowledging her flaws, and even repeatedly calling her a hero.

But HEY! (But HEY!) Leave my mom alone Yes I know, she’s not perfect, it’s true She’s a hero (She’s a hero) And I will always speak of her with pride

The client is trying to be excused from his actions by stating he’s lonely and addicted to it.

Being alone is not easy And it’s been years since my last time

The hardest part, well, it’s the first time And now what’s hard is to decide when the last time will be

But he’s also verbally violent even stating that as long as he got the money he could pretty much do everything to her.

Maybe this time around we can do it with me insulting her. Yeah everything is negotiablе in life, if you got the money And after all, I’m probably her best customer

With that alone, you can probably guess that it’s not the only violent client she had but she has to endure it because she needs money. Considering that she has a son it’s probably to support his education or something related to her well-being and his.

Then comes the pimp, he brushed off all of his misdeeds by saying he gives them shelter and food and should be grateful for it.

Why does everyone hate me? I’m the one feeding them Their lives would be way more mediocre. Without me, their lives would be shitty

Not only that but his good actions are not for the sake of it, he should have his part of the deals. He doesn't want them to feel like princesses eventually calling them hookers in a very dehumanizing way.

That has a price, Missy. Well duh, in this life, everything comes at a price. Nobody ever told you? They say I’m guilty of human trafficking But 50, 40, 30 or 20% is not nothing

They better not delude themselves and think they’re models Ladies—or should I say: hookers!

Not only does this woman have to endure constant violent behavior from her clients she barely gets enough money despite being the one at work, receiving either 50% or even 20% of what she actually gained. The rest goes to an egocentric pimp that only sees her as merchandise.

While we can technically understand where the policeman is coming from, he’s just doing his job, he’s making a mistake apparent in the other’s verse but much more evident in his.

He doesn't see her as a human.

I know that it’s your job But I gotta do mine, don’t I?

Take back your ID and what’s left of your dignity You’re pathetic, pfft Find yourself a real job!

This song doesn't tell us the story of a prostitute but the story of a financially struggling Mother who juggles between abusing clients and a society that only focuses on the top of the iceberg, the fact that she’s selling her body.

Stromae tries to appeal to our compassion and teach us that it’s important to understand why someone will go their way to sell sex for a few pennies. And rather than rejecting them, we should help them.

Another thing I like about the clip as a whole is the Military. They don’t have a Belgian or French uniform but they wear multiple of them to show that this dehumanization isn’t linked to one country but it’s global, every countries and cultures take part in it, and it needs to be fixed.

What does Poison tell us?

Angel got stuck in an abusive situation and was forced to do sex work for his pimps, it focuses more on the sexual assault rather than his life.

He obliviously regrets his choice resulting in him blaming himself for getting into such a messy situation. A situation he’s seemingly addicted to despite himself, he knows it’s bad but he can’t help it.

What's the worst part of this hell? I can only blame myself

You're feedin' me poison Addicted to this feelin', I can't help but swallow. Up your poison

The poison can also be a metaphor for the drugs he seems to take directly from Valentino’s brand. A drug he either takes himself or is forced to inhale.

He uses the same substance to forget his situation and numbs the pain while also putting on a false Sex-addicted mask to convey that he’s fine and stay on Valentino’s good side. A direct consequence of his abuse is his addiction and his hypersexuality.

I got so good at bein' untrue I got so good at tellin' you what you wanna hear I disassociate, disappear

At the end of the song he’s waisted, traumatized, and finally breaks down as he finally has a short time to process everything that happened. Because here’s the thing, Poison is a fantasy, it’s a mask he puts in to forget the emotional and physical weight that was put on him, hence why it’s so flashy and pretty. The few glimpses of Angel being visibly distraught show that all the parts where he isn't are him disassociating.

See I can analyze stuff and I totally understand what they were trying to do with it but the difference with Fîls de Joie is, that we didn't know the life or personality of The Mother and we learn it through the song.

Angel Dust and Valentino’s relationship is highlighted throughout the shows and Poison doesn't add anything new to the table. The song is POINTLESS. Husk already looked at us and told us that Angel Dust being sexual was a whole persona he puts in.

You can say that the song humanized him since he was basically the “AaahaAH SEX” character but the locker scene already did and… I don’t like the story behind the making of it, why you ask?

Because Vivienne let Raphielle’s work affect her writing.

Visually speaking I believe you can present a disturbing concept with equally disturbing imagery, I understand that the point was to make you uncomfortable and the Dance sequence was Angel Dust disassociating while what was happening was displayed on the screen.

But… can someone explain why they let the work of someone blatantly fetishizing Angel and Valentino's relationship leak into the final product? I don’t even care that Raphielle or Vivienne have a nonconsensual fetish but we can all agree that his content depicting the two men will be inrentently for gooning purposes right? Or am I crazy for saying that?!

Okay, I wanna be clear, Raphielle can do everything he wants what I care about is that his fetishistic content was referenced in the shows.

→ Here’s one of his works. Go at 2:45 if you wanna skip the sexual stuff

→ Click here for more proof

The idea of Angels Dust being “sexy” while his image is projected on screens is from Raphielle II, his work is for sexual gratification but Medrano still referenced it despite Raph being pretty vocal about it.

And that’s not all.

Yes, Vivienne, it’s great marketing to make a cum joke about visuals displaying rape. Because in case y’all forgot all of the sex scenes in the clip are non-consensual from Angel Dust's perspective.

Am I supposed to believe that this woman cares when not only she has a double standard only showing rape and sexual assault as a whole in a bad way when it comes to her favorite character?

Am I supposed to believe that she cares when she associates herself with a fetishizer and references his work in her show?

Why did Stromae managed to make me care about an unnamed fictional dead woman in the spam of 3:57 when she just irked me in 20 minutes with her so-called “well done” representation of sex workers?

Is that really what people call a realistic presentation? How does someone manage to fumble so hard on every aspect of the series, I’m starting to believe that Hazbin Hotel is just rage-bait with the lack of respect she puts into it.

That’s all for me if anyone wants to add anything, the comments are there.

[tiredtriedfailures]

its so funny to see this dynamic

play out but these two bring a whole new level

cuz we see again and again that Dong Eun, as relentless as she is to start and continue this plan, as calm and cold as she needs to be to execute it, as ruthless as she is to not feel any guilt for everything that happens to her abusers, wont harm anyone directly. yes, the plan ends up killing and destroying them, but never with her own hands, she is more inclined to let them do the work themselves, always, only themselves(even with her own mom! she plays the waiting game). the biggest proof of her mercy is giving Yeon Jin an out for Ha Do Yeong's single kind gesture. as we find out at the end, as broken and invisible she thought she is, Dong Eun is an inherently kind person who cant directly harm them.

this freak on the other hand spends day and night daydreaming stabbing the one person protected behind safety of prison bars(lets be honest at that point the bars arent protecting the people from that guy but him from Yeo Jeong) and is fully okay with killing anyone she asks as well. now you may be likely to take his entire, committed, likening himself to her Royal Executioner as simply just an expression of devotion, i get it since he doesnt end up doing that for her, but after watching the last episode i was convinced he didnt kill any of her abusers because she wouldnt have him do it.

see, his little speech to his prison bird just reveals an important piece of his psyche, he tells him his oath is to protect and save people but doesnt say anything about animals, inhumans, like him. meaning this guy has a mentality where at some point of immorality you lose your humanity in his eyes and become discarded. it is a line where he wont hesitate, he wont regret, he wont even have guilty dreams about the person he killed, maybe not even think about them again for the rest of his life. Light Yagami ass views. he doesnt ask Dong eun if she killed Miyoung-o cuz he literally doesnt give a shit. not a single question mark on his mind. hes like "if she dids it she dids it, if she didnst it she didnst it" and thats that.

and his insanity is written so well, all of his scenes with Dong Eun's abusers were tense as shit. because while you dont know how dangerous he really is till the last speech, in all of them his mere entering of their spaces is threatening, he either has them under his knife or under his car, even his first meeting with Ha Do Yeong is invading, not the park he frequents, no, its invading his mind. he leaves that meeting with the information of what kind of a person he is, enough to make a dead on prediction of his step-by-step behavior. he is smiling and cracking jokes through the interactions but YOU, the viewer, are aware there is something wrong with him.

when he buys that funeral home i was fully expecting him to fill it with corpses himself. in retrospect, that plot would have been too taxing on Dong Eun and im not sure she would ever let herself live after that but cant see Yeo Jeong being too bothered to be honest.

[raincitygirl76]

Poor Wille. He misses his brother. And he never really got a chance to grieve. First there was Erik’s funeral to prepare for, then the funeral etc to get through. All televised, so if he broke down during the service or the interment, the entire country would know.

Then he had to cope with people suddenly, constantly calling him by Erik’s title, reminding him every moment of every day that Erik is dead and he’s stuck with that poisoned chalice now.

Then there’s the closer surveillance by police protection officers, who are also calling him by Erik’s title. (Digression: it was totally unbelievable that Wilhelm had NO protection officers prior to Erik’s death. I could see the surveillance of the crown prince being tighter than on his backup. But there’s no way the queen of Sweden’s son wouldn’t have been a high value target for kidnapping or assassination, even if it’s the younger son).

His parents send him back to school, where he has to give a speech about his brother’s death. Ugh! And he breaks up with Simon, because he knows what little freedom he still had when Erik was alive has vanished now. He already knew the second in line for the throne can’t be queer. But it’s even less acceptable for the first in line, knowing full well he has to marry a woman someday and have kids with her. Because his mom reminded him of that after the funeral.

Then there’s the Society night, where he gets high as a kite, wanders off, and drunk dials Simon. And then in the aftermath of that night, he manages to grab some happiness with Simon. Erik’s recent death must still be on his mind, but at least he’s not alone now. He has Simon, he’s in love and they’re in the honeymoon phase.

That lasts all of half an episode before the drug thing comes up, because of that fucker August. He has a huge fight with Simon, who walks out on him, and has to scramble like mad to save Simon from expulsion. But luckily the info Simon gave him about August’s finances early on in their “so my boyfriend is a drug dealer” fight proved to be something Wilhelm could leverage. He fought for Simon, imposed his will on August and the Society.

But Simon still isn’t happy with him. At this point, Wille’s life would be a dumpster fire even if his beloved brother WASN’T recently deceased! The only good thing about the whole Alexander/Society mess is that the screaming panic over his boyfriend getting expelled unless he fixes things probably takes his mind off missing Erik quite so much.

Finally Simon forgives him. Simon’s not entirely over the situation, but he’s relented enough to comfort him when Wille is at the end of his rope. And for all of ten fucking minutes things are still fragile, but looking like they’re on the way back to okay. Simon’s speaking to him again, and that’s huge. Because that fight proved to Wille that he NEEDS Simon like he needs oxygen.

This relationship isn’t just the exhilaration of falling for someone wonderful, basking in their presence, and feeling the giddy glee of sexual intimacy with them. This relationship is also the terrible desperation of Wilhelm not realizing until it’s too late to back out that he’s in love. That trying to function without this person is like trying to function when he’s still bleeding from an amputated limb.

And then that very same evening, Wille’s cousin decides to become a sex offender and release a tape that outs Wilhelm, exposes the true nature of his “friendship” with Simon, and exposes their naked bodies at an intimate moment. To the entire world, or at least the portion of the world with a functioning internet connection. Which is a pretty big portion these days.

And then with everything that happens in 1.06, when does Wilhelm have time to grieve Erik? By the end of S1, he’s heartbroken 3 times over. His big brother is still recently deceased, his boyfriend just broke up with him, and his own mother betrayed and manipulated him. Also, she chose to protect his sex offender cousin over him, because it’s so important for her to conceal her child’s true nature from the world.

At the end of 1.06, Wilhelm has never needed Erik’s support more. But Erik is still dead and never coming back. Wilhelm has no brother, he has no boyfriend, his only remaining immediate family (his parents) can’t be trusted, the cousin Erik told him to trust can’t be trusted, and he knows he will have to hide and lie for the rest of his life, because a queer future king is completely unacceptable. Wilhelm has finally correctly labelled his feelings for Simon as love, but he broke Simon’s heart, and Simon won’t say it back. As far as Wilhelm knows, he’s lost Simon forever. He’s completely alone.

Hardly surprising Wille’s having a minor nervous breakdown in Erik’s room in 2.01. The memories of his brother and the thirst for revenge are the only things he has left.

Scenes I love in season 2 - part 7

[mariasversion]

my thoughts on young royals: episode 4 (we’re almost done let’s go)

YOUNG ROYALS’ SPOILERS AHEAD !!

• i honestly don’t know what was worse, erik’s death or wilhelm’s reaction to it. that part where he’s almost crying during the funeral and he grabs his mom’s hand broke me

and his speech after the school’s choir sang was so sad. like jesus, the kid just lost his brother and you decided the best thing you could do for him is put him in front of an audience to give a speech? yikes

• i found it very funny how the school’s solution to erik’s death was to give wilhelm a bigger room. ‘oh, he just lost his brother? i know exactly what will make him feel better. a bigger room’

• wilhelm joining madison and felice’s cleansing ritual was so cute but just imagine his bodyguards,,, waiting there looking at each other like ‘alright i’m going to have to ask, is this normal? is this what today’s teenagers are doing?’

plus his bodyguard, malin i think, definitely has all the tea. bc she’s just standing at his door all times and their walls must be super thin bc you literally can hear everything

• felice and sara’s moment in the bus stop,,, their friendship is so cute (and i still want them to be girlfriends, it’s what we deserve)

• august’s weird little “society” had dead poets society vibes sometimes. the difference is that theirs is ridiculous (i almost feel bad comparing them bc dps is everything and august’s society is just a bunch of rich kids being dumb which in retrospect is also dps but let’s ignore it)

• the football field scene. the best four or so minutes of my life.

‘you see, everything is fake. everything is fake. everything in the world is fake.’

‘all the people are fake. they’re made out of metal.’

‘but i like you. and that is not fake.’

i don’t even have any words, this scene just made me feel so much. wilhelm saying that on the phone, his surprise when he saw simon actually came for him and how he hugged him

me after the whole football field scene:

• and if that scene hadn’t been enough, the scene next morning and wilhelm telling simon ‘i want you to hold me’? well fuck

[glitterfairy-21225]

In which Peter has a child while stuck in the mcu: *takes deep breath*

He’s definitely living with Wanda post WV, so she’s there.

I don’t know a lot about inhumans but I know a little. Maybe Crystal is on earth for some reason, or the royal family just invites Wanda to the moon after learning about Westview b/c they want the tea, I guess. But Crystal and Peter meet.

They don’t get married, they don’t even officially date, so when Crystal announces she’s pregnant literally everyone is blindsided.

Wanda’s reaction is the best. She doesn’t say anything, but it’s her facial expressions as this is all going down. Her facial expressions.

Peter panics. Obviously. He runs around frantically with no rhyme or reason. He trashed his room. He’s screaming at a pitch only Crystal’s giant dog can hear.

He confides in Wanda about his piles of daddy issues, compounded by the fact that he never told his father the truth.... And also the fact that he was a terrorist.

But now it’s like, what happens if he goes back to his universe. He doesn’t want to to be an absentee father.

So he makes a difficult decision to stay in the mcu for the child. He still wants to go back to the x men to make sure his friends and family know he’s okay, but he wants to stay with his kid.

In the wake of his decision, Peter is high on emotion and decides that he needs to go the extra mile for this fatherhood schtick.

So he and Crystal elope.

Literally. Everyone. Thinks. This. Is. Questionable.

They’re divorced before she gives birth.

Not even a bitter divorce, just a ‘Ok, marriage at this point was probably a mistake.....’ divorce.

He and Wanda binge watch kids movies that came out from after he was taken from the x men.

Labor time!

Peter’s definitely a ping-pong whatever. When Crystal cries, he cries. When she screams, he screams.

But then Luna is born and she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen in his life, and he just can’t. He’s crying on his own behalf.

Crystal holds her first, and then Peter, and the first thing he says to her is with teary eyes, so loving, so tenderly, is ‘You are gonna piss so many people off,’ in the softest voice you can imagine.

When the rest of the family comes in to meet her, Peter turns on the Lion King music, which he saw in the binge, and holds her up.

Wanda gets to hold her next, and Peter’s all ‘Meet your Aunt Wanda, Luna!’ And it’s a moment, because yeah, Tommy and Billy called him uncle, and he’s made it clear he loves them as such, but that was when he was brainwashed, so this. This is such a moment for Wanda.

And Wanda misses her boys so much, but the amount of love she feels for this girl overwhelms her bad she really believes she’s not alone anymore.

Afterwards, the three of them (Peter, Wanda, and Luna) are all curled up on a hospital bed together. Like they would be if Peter was the one who gave birth, but instead they just stole a bed to cuddle on because they’re emotionally drained.

Crystal is giving them the side eye from the other bed like, *guys it’s my special day too.*

Peter looks down at his bundle of joy and decides to make a speech to her.

He takes a deep breath. ‘Luna Maximoff’ (‘We did not discuss last names, Peter!’) ‘Your father is.... the problem in every relationship he has ever had. Except for the ones with people who are bigots, those guys suck. And he’s gonna be problem in ours. But I promise you, even if I make a million mistakes, and I will, I will try my very best to make sure you are the one person in this family who’s life isn’t made up of one traumatic experience after the other. Because you are the love and light of my life.’

Awwww.

Oh and Wanda definitely has a himym moment where she looks back all the stupid stuff Peter has done and thinks, ‘That guys a dad now.’

Except her flashback was from that morning.

Of course, that doesn’t get rid of all his deep emotional baggage. And he’s so worried about messing Luna up that he’s a complete motherhen.

He rants to Wanda, ‘Let’s face it, you and I are both going to hell,’ Because even if he loves Wanda, he’s not gonna excuse what she did to Westview, and for himself he has self esteem issues. So Wanda is :000. But Peter just continues. ‘But I really don’t want that for her!’

Anyways, Wanda starts hearing her kids and that kicks off their next big adventure, with Peter reluctantly leaving Luna with her mom.

He writes her a final letter in case he dies so she knows he loves her very much. But don’t worry, Peter’s not gonna die, so this is just a character quirk for now. It’s always quirky until someone dies.

I know that the ‘X men see WandaVision broadcast’ thing should logically stop after episode seven, but for this we’re gonna say the broadcast showed the entire, actual show, with all the SWORD and Agatha stuff. And then it starts playing Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness! And there’s a flashback to Luna’s birth.

It’s been a few years, and the x men have already had a funeral for him, so seeing this is..... wow.

Raven’s long since spilled the beans to Erik about his son, and he’s not been taking it well.

So seeing that his son is not only alive and well, but that he also has a granddaughter, (and maybe even an au daughter) makes him cry in front of everyone.

Also, maybe the team was just a bit unappreciative of him, not enough for us to bash them, but enough to make them feel guilty. So seeing him thriving without them stirs up some emotions.

Also maybe he has an ex on the team, and it ended because Peter’s bad at handling things. For maximum feels.

They know from the broadcast that Peter plans to stay in the mcu with his daughter and that makes them all sad, but it’s a really good reason and they’re almost all sensible enough to accept this.... After a proper goodbye of course.

We’ll get back to Erik’s feelings in a sec.

They make a portal, and all go to the mcu to help out in the final fight. They reunite with Peter, who runs to get Luna, even though she’s not on earth, so that they can all meet her.

Erik holds Luna and goes ‘You will lead millions! Willingly or as slaves.’

It reminds him of holding Nina and he wishes he held Peter and it’s so special.

They say their goodbyes.

Meanwhile, Erik is conflicted, because his child (children) is staying in alternate universe and this is where his granddaughter is, so if he can’t convince them to come back to the x men verse then maybe the best thing he can do is move to the mcu.

But Charles a school to look after, so that leads a horrible question; Will Cherik have to break up again?

Doctor Strange just rolls his eyes and says fuck it, because reality is already messed up so why not? And he gives the Maximoffs a key to crossover whenever they want. And it only works for them.

So Luna has all the inhumans and all the x men loving her so much, with the best dad, aunt, and grandpas in both worlds.

And of course with the coolest cousins a girl could ask for!

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se03. ep 6.(Part 1)

The main female protagonist who, has been the “mother /psychiatrist/ fixer/curse-breaker” for 57 eps & 2 seasons, has finally had her own “I’m a real person with my own issues” ep !!!! YESS! So happy!!! also, so underwhelmed. Tohru has been painted to be this utterly selfless & altruistic character for long, that when she’s finally a balanced character it’s presented in half an episode? Don’t get me wrong, I like the ep, but there’s also the same feeling of bullet train that I felt in momiji’s ep! ugh!! I hated that feeling! Go away~ oh well.. I’ll quickly state what I didn’t like, before jumping into what I liked, in order to end with a happier note~

What I didn’t like:

Tohru’s monologue after leaving shigure & Isuzu felt more like a background exposition more than a true character’s thoughts. The reason is that It is quickly narrated with quick flashbacks from the past with intentional pieces missing from the flashback. Pieces like” how did Kyoko hurt tohru? She said to kyo, in se02, ep “ I feel like I’ve only caused her sadness” &  tohru’s flashbacks in se02 of her mother leaving/ closing a door. All these things not included in tohru’s 1st ever personal monologue made it seem like quick fill in for the audience more than tohru’s main struggle. Compare it to Yuki’s 3 ep monologue in se02, filled with all his own background info, hence, we as audience sit back & just feel. With tohru a little brain work is needed of putting things together in the puzzle is needed because NOTHING abt her trauma has ever been explained to us prior to her monologue . Also, compare this kyo. A character who ONLY have 2 eps dedicated to him in 57 eps, yet even without monologues & with hidden secrets for climax purposes, his emotions are clear cuz his background was explained early in se01, ep24 & se02, ep9. Compared to them both, her monologue felt a bit lacking.

What’s up with the following scene? Her crying & kyo comforting her mid-street. He saw her crying, asked what’s wrong & she couldn’t say & he gave her a comforting advice. All good. Kyo always give the most needed advice for tohru to be herself & feel comforted. Se01, “complain more, be selfish” Se02, somen table scene & asking her abt her future plans & the hiro incident. Kyo has tried to guess whats wrong first. Here he saw her cry in the middle of the street & just gave her an advice? couldn’t he at least guess wrongly if it is her granpa? school? anything? This scene is AMAZING but it feels off a little.

Kyo’s “ now I remember” EXCUSE ME?????? se01, ep14, valentine ep, he got a nightmare, then when shigure talked to him, we saw a quick flashback that we didn’t now what it is but now it IS kyoko. se02, the entirety of ep9 & the “ I won’t forgive you” & the flashback of young him with kyoko talking abt tohru. se02, ep 22 his fight with yuki & the clear face of kyoko telling him abt something regarding the hat. His entire shutdown of tohru IS abt kyoko NOT abt him being a monster cuz tohru accepted monster kyo in se01 ep 24! so.. REMEMBER WHAT????? the accident?? I feel like being hit with a rock. I mean, it makes sense that kyo will get PTSD after seeing the hat, cuz he remembers the bloody accident vividly. But it is the dialogue that IS weird. “ I remember” ?? it makes no sense? unless it is another hidden secret & will be revealed later. If so, then forget this point.

Kagura (more on her below). Now, let’s talk abt what I liked!

-Grief (the most difficult theme to express in literature): Excellent writing!

Grief is one of the most diverse human emotions. ppl who grief a loved one either erase everything abt them in order to cope with the pain of loss & live on, or drastically engrave everything, not want any memory to slip away, or hold the deceased on a pedestal, or hate them irrationally in order to forget abt them, some deny that the loved one is gone, others talk to them daily, some act & live normally for years & suddenly it hits them that this loved person is truly gone & they breakdown. Others, direct their disbelief of losing a precious one into the envy that other bad ppl are still living, why my precious one is dead?. Thats why, it is a difficulty emotion to understand by others. Ppl watching you will always think that comforting you is enough & that the longer you take, the more impatient they are with you. Tell me, watching tohru this ep, didn’t you feel that:

Come on. tohru, you can love your mom & kyo! who says only ONE person can be your precious?

Umm, why she cries for her mom NOW? 2 years after her death? Is she over it already?

Tohru~~ your mom aint going no where cuz you loved a guy? she’s in your heart, girl. Ugh!

Compared to yuki who was abused by his parents & kyo whose mom commit suicide in front of him, tohru’s trauma is meh~

Feeling this way abt tohru is exactly how many feel abt ppl struggling with grief. You are NOT a bad person if you felt this way. It means that thankfully you weren’t struck by grief to tohru’s extent or that your grief went about differently than tohru. Grief is a crippling feeling. It is valid, strong, overwhelming, paralyzing & above all very unique to the person themselves. Tohru feeling that her mom is slipping away from her memory is so realistic & utterly heartbreaking. Grief hurts & moving on from grief hurts more!!!! The more you go on & live your life, the more you feel like you betray your loved one.

Tohru’s entire existence is for her mother & so her mother LIVES inside her:

Finishing high school cuz it’s her mother’s request.

Getting a job to sustain herself cuz she has no one to support her financially.

Giving her mom’s wisdom & teachings abt life to others.

imitating her dad’s speaking style to prevent her mom from “leaving”.

Being the perfect girl in order to portray that her mom, who is a gangster & is hinted by the ugly relatives to be unfaithful to her husband due to tohru not taking after her dad, actually raised a respectful girl!

Talking to a dead cold lifeless picture as if it is a living human being & going into panic attacks when she looses such pictures.

Suppressing all her true “ ugly, negative” emotions & only giving the fake smiles & positive attitude.

She fears that ppl will leave her if she isn’t “comforting, happy”, hence, the whole facade of “ i’m okay, I’m okay”.

Immersing her self in ppl’s issues so she won’t face her own feelings of utter loneliness, fear of the future, & being left behind when everybody moves on with their lives.

Thinking that having selfish desires contradicts the “ hopeful, kind” girl images, hence, the fear to actually wants sth for herself. Everything HAS TO BE for the sake of the others.

Tohru is deeply traumatized & her complex, unhealthy but extremely realistic attachment to her mom must be broken. Tohru must learn to LET GO.

-Kagura’s character’s assassination. aka (violence heals y’all!)

The show wanted to express the emotion that kagura is still in love with kyo, but is learning to let go & accepting kyo/tohru love. I love that. Her speech with kazuma abt not being able to face tohru cuz her face will show her emotions is so relatable & it hit ME personally. Loved that. Then, she learns that tohru truly loves kyo & should confess to him not talk to Isuzu & I get that, it make sense that she lashes on thru & teach her the value of being open abt your feelings & dont loose him. all cool & understandable. BUT:

How dare you slap tohru like that? you don’t know what she’s going through? tohru is wearing funeral clothes for God’s sake! she just visited her dead mom, you insensitive woman! How dare you assume that all tohru is struggling with is love love, romance romance yay~ confess, kiss, be happy?

Tohru & kyo’s issues are deeper than typical, normal, shallow shojo love. It is related to child trauma & abuse. To their own individual identity & self-image! Their romantic love is meant to guide them towards better choices for the future, not magically heal everything. Their mutual love is NOT the answer to their issues.

How dare you slap someone to make them go back to their senses? this is such an anime move! ugh!~ it cheapens the emotional weight of character’s emotions.

“ I’m not apologizing to tohru. We communicate thro fists” excuse me?  you arent even communicating with kyo thro fists! he sees you & run! the only time he thanked you for, was when you didn’t “ communicate thro fists” & played with him as a child! Not only make her hit tohru but not apologize??

No one told her off? are you foreal?? Isuzu pouting lips is no match for Isuzu powerful emotions when she’s embarrassed, & kazuma! where you at? Happy at the “ open confrontation”? Why do you kill kagura’s character like that?

Side Notes:

I hate how this went by in half an ep like they did with machi!! tohru is THE main character for God’s sake! But it looks like the show is not so fond of the true tohru who wants stuff & screams & talks to herself, alas she isn’t the angelic, innocent girl that is saturating the heck out of all shojo amines. Oh well~ perhaps tohru’s issues will be visited again in the finale?

Kyo gets PTSD reaction in front of tohru. great. Now what’s next? I won’t ever forgive the anime if next ep, kyo & tohru are all normal or worse the episodic theme prevents the continuation & jumps elsewhere. Nearly all the eps that didn’t end with a happy note, started the next ep somewhere & totally forgot the cliff hanger. such as, Isuzu’s ep in se02, it ended with tohru’s nightmare & next ep started yuki’s issues with tohru all smiley & bright. Another example, the Cinderella play ended with kyo/tohru torn symbolism where each is awkward with the other, next ep machi !!!!!! & kyo/ tohru all normal in kazuma’s house. But this time, it will be an epic mistake to do the same. Kyo going full traumatic in front of tohru to the point of her screaming is not sth you skip & start over erasing. Don’t disappoint me show! you can’t screw that, can you?

I love the symbolism of kyoko disappearing from the picture & the crack of her framed pic at the end with it still continued in he ED. Good job.

They are building for a hug clashing scene between kyo & tohtu. it must hurt. It is designed to hurt. I wanted it to hurt. It is not abt romance. It is abt mental & emotional trauma. I’m excited. But I’m scared. After today’s ep, I can confidently say I don’t trust the director. I’m an anime-only, but tohru’s part in the story is the least touched upon, the quickest to get over with & has the wackiest animation. They just don’t know how to depict an emotional tohru~ sigh~

Tohru is written to be a unique protagonist in the sea of innocent, selfless & always happy shojo heroine & opposed to the badass, physically strong female protag in shonen. She is the most realistic, but so much of her potential is wasted so far~~

“ saving the sohma’s. breaking the curse for others is a lie, in reality I wanted to do it for kyo” This line is supposed to be liberating for tohru cuz for once she is putting herself FIRST! It is not abt kyo. It is abt herself! it is cuz SHE wants him. See the difference? See how this line gives tohru the biggest character development!! but still sth is missing. I duno..

I have lots to say abt tohru, kyo, shigure, the grandpa, kyoko, Isuzu & even kazuma! I’ll do that in part 2.

I still liked the ep tho. It is solid. I”ll like it MORE if they continued from here & didn’t cut it cold.

[please-return-to-villanelle]

Owen’s Bonfire Monologue

I cannot stop thinking about all the incredible monologues scattered through out Bly Manor and will likely gush about all of them at some point but for now, I’d like to focus on one poignant one.

It’s Owen’s bonfire monologue right after his mom’s funeral. I think this is a big thesis for the story in terms of the many manifestations of losing someone.

He talks about how at the funeral all the attendees only choose to remember his mother as she was many years ago which is only a part of who she was and that really bothers Owen. I think part of that shows how taxing the role of care giver/ son/ spouse can be. It’s like he is the only person who was there to witness his mother’s entire life transformation from loving bubbly funny woman to essentially a child that needs constant attention. And the tragedy of his mom, like most people with insidious illnesses (dementia, cancer, MS, etc) is that they are lost to us long before they die. Their illness destroy who they are and Owen saw all of that with his mom. He has this beautiful line where he says “she was my anchor and my burden” that just sums it all up so well.

For me another big component about why this speech is so impactful is his audience. He is giving this speech to:

1. Hannah who is a ghost that is fading away little by little and she is becoming more aware that this is happening. Much like a patient with early signs of dementia which is a direct parallel to Owen and his mom and to add to that Owen is also Hannah’s anchor to the physical world. We see time after time she appears and is lucid, fully present only when Owen is around.

2. Dani who will one day live this exact scenario out and become lost to Viola (ie she is Owen’s mom and Jamie’s burden). We see this depicted so well in the final episode as Viola takes over Dani’s emotions fade away, her smiles never quite full, and there are moments where she doesn’t seem to mentally exist in the present moment. All she has keeping her tethered to reality is Jamie.

3. Jamie who will watch this all happen to the person she loves most (ie she becomes Owen). Which is ironic because right after she gets back from the funeral, Jamie comments on how if this ever happened to her she would want to be put out of her misery. And yet, she doesn’t ever want an out from Dani. She makes a pinky promise to keep her company until the very end knowing full well how this story will end. But that’s the thing about loving someone. Inevitably we lose them. But we all make the conscious decision to love them any way, in what little time we have together. That’s Jamie’s growth. And in doing so, long after Dani is physically gone, her memory anchors Jamie and keeps her grounded (ie Dani is Jamie’s anchor).

[bitchybutcher]

Texts I sent a friend the first time I watched The Boys, Season 2:

-        Gird your loins

-        I’m dying to know more about Black Noir

-        Ugh ffs Homelander smarming about on stage at Translucents funeral

-        It’s an empty box but I suppose how would people know cause invisible corpse

-        WHY IS ANNIE SINGING AT THE INVISIBLE PERVS FUNERAL

-        Aw no straight in with Sad Kevin

-        Oh ok angry drunk Kevin

-        Ugh not these Samaritans Embrace fuckers again

-        Oh Annie. Parroting the company line. I hope she’s gonna fuck them all over

-        SAD HUGHIE OH NO

-        BILLY JOOOOOELLLL

-        Aw Kimiko is learning

-        Her lil smile

-        Oooh Hughie is a liiiiiar

-        Meeting on the subway like a couple shifty teenagers

-        Oh I forgot they microchipped the supes like dogs

-        Oh nooooo young love angst

-        Oh no a Sad Kevin incident

-        Aaaaand he’s been arrested

-        A nice archer bailed him out

-        Omfg the fake Butcher re-enactment

-        Oh do NOT tell me this crazy bastard is gonna drink the frozen breast milk

-        Oh fuck he is

-        What the FUCK, HOMELANDER

-        This visually impaired ninja seems nice

-        That probably means he’s gonna turn out to be a dick

-        OH FUCK

-        Homelander what the fuuuuuck

-        Ok what the shit is happening here in the motel

-        WHAT

-        What the fuuuuuck

-        I – MM is making a dolls house? That’s so cute

-        Oh shit smuggled people

-        Homelander is nuts with power

-        Uhhhh who is Carol and why is she staring at Kevin while he sleeps

-        Finally an archer who is honest about how useless they can be once they run out of arrows

-        Oh noooo are they gonna try brainwash Kevin with homeopathic stuff? And why do they keep offering him Fresca

-        OH FUCK ME NOT ANOTHER RELIGION THING

-        Oh Hughie has grown a pair since last season. Good for him

-        Where’s Butcherrrrrrrr

-        Body gore porn dude is called Gecko that’s too cute a name for him

-        Stormfront seems like fun

-        She’s gonna be pissing off Homelander so much I like her already

-        OH WHAT THE FUCK THE CIA LADYS HEAD EXPLODED

-        I like Stan

-        Giving Homelander the dressing down he needs

-        I know it’s convenient for Toni to wear the padded suit all the time but does Homelander ever wear anything else

-        Oh hiiii Becca I still think you’re a bitch and Butcher deserved better

-        BUTCHERRRRR YASSSSS

-        “Daddy’s home”

-        I’m dead. It’s official.

-        The fuckin smirk and the voice I’m fuckin dead

-        OH NO KEVIN IS TRYING THE CHURCH THING

-        Is he making shroom tea

-        Why is Patton Oswalt voicing Kevin’s gills this is delightful

-        Atrain is awake again that’s not good

-        I’m cracking up at Sad Kevin and his singing gills

-        Homelander is gone way off the deep end oh boy

-        Awwww soft Maeve in the hospital with her girlfriend

-        I want to like Becca but I can’t shake the bad feeling

-        Homelander is a terrible father

-        I mean I know he has no role models to base his parenting on, but yikes

-        It’s like if Scar was raising Simba instead of Mufasa

-        ….are the gang raiding a party city store

-        I love how Frenchie always looks a mix of horrified and amazed whenever Kimiko kills someone

-        AWWW IT’S HER BROTHER YAY

-        Oh shiiiiiiiit

-        Butcher STOP JUST SHOOTING PEOPLE

-        You were right this season is weird

-        I like Kimiko’s brothers bedazzled denim jacket

-        Butcher don’t punch Hughie wtf

-        Starting with Hughie listening to the same song again, nice

-        Butcher is terrible at apologising it’s so cute

-        I’m sorry did Hughie just fall over trying to throw a punch

-        The kid’s a dandelion omg

-        Why are they on a boat? Did Karl just decide “I like being on boats lemme go on a boat”?

-        I see what you mean about Homelander being scary

-        He’s completely insane

-        Why does this storyboard guys shirt say assbinder

-        Chace Crawford is an excessively veiny man

-        BLACK NOIR IS CRYING

-        Or possibly laughing

-        Hard to tell when they have no face

-        Annie actually leaked all the compound V stuff good for her

-        FRENCHIE KISSED HUGHIE

-        Homelander is gonna get this kid killed tryna make him fly

-        Honestly the kid looks more like Hughie

-        OH MY GOD HE PUSHED HIM OFF THE ROOF

-        OH MY SWEET FUCKING JESUS HOMELANDER YOU CAN’T DO THAT

-        Oop there’s the laser eyes

-        Oh Homelander is back at the Tower and freaking Maeve out

-        OH FUCK THE BROTHER IS LOOSE

-        Hughie don’t do it

-        Oh ok I thought he was gonna jump off the boat

-        Kevin and the cult weirdos are up to something

-        Hughie no you don’t call the girl you like crying over Billy Joel lyrics

-        Oh god boyo you don’t then drop the L word in the same voice message!

-        He’s hopeless

-        Oh nooooo Kevin is attacking the boat goddammit Kevin

-        OH FUCK A WHALE

-        For fuck sake Kevin

-        Ewwwww

-        Butcher what the fuck

-        Hughie having a nervous breakdown inside of a whale

-        No but why is Karl so hot covered in blood

-        Actually I didn’t even need to include the blood part of that question

-        Oh boy here we go, the 7 show up to find Sad Kevin crying over spilt whale

-        ….why is Stormfront tryna get all up in Homelander’s ass?? I thought she was cool but now she’s all lemme suck that radioactive dick

-        OH NO

-        Poor Kevin he’s worked so hard to accept his gills and now Homelander has knocked him back down

-        Oooo dear Atrain is having a heart attack again this isn’t good

-        Oh fuck is Hughie gon get caught

-        Oh no it’s Annie it’s ok

-        OH FUCK

-        ANNIE WHY

-        THAT’S YOUR HUGHIE

-        OH MAN KIMIKO’S BROTHER IS BADASS YES SQUASH THE SMUG PRICK

-        Oh I do NOT like Stormfront holy fuckin shit what’s wrong with this woman

-        Poor Kimiko

-        What’s with the random woman talking about calling off her wedding?

-        Why is Frenchie taking drugs

-        FUCK SAKE FRENCHIE DON’T TRY KISS A GIRL WHEN SHE’S GRIEVING

-        What the FUCK is thiiiiis

-        Is he dreaming or is this the shapeshifter tryna stay alive by granting Homelander some sick wish

-        Yikes I feel bad for Doppelganger

-        I am fascinated by whoever and whatever the fuck Black Noir is

-        MM sees right through everyone’s bullshit

-        I feel so bad for Annie

-        Ooooo Atrain getting fired

-        MM having to put up with Hughie and Annie having a we didn’t start the fire singalong 😂

-        Ok who’s in the weird group therapy sesh with these women with strange views on love

-        Vending machine date so cute

-        Omfg ahahahaha the girl with the Ed Sheeran tattoo

-        I really want to like Becca cause she stands up to Homelander but I can’t shake the suspicions about her

-        I feel bad for Butcher

-        Homelander is a scary good liar

-        Oh shit interviewer lady is pulling out the diversity questions

-        OH FUCK

-        HE’S OUTED MAEVE

-        Poor Maeve what the fuck

-        Ugh Stormfront

-        Shut your racist hole bitch

-        Oh shit Kimiko on the warpath

-        Frenchie! Kimiko listen to him he’s tryna help

-        MM is doing a lotta sharing this episode

-        Ohhhh something bad is gonna come out about this Liberty lady they’re looking for oh fuck

-        Wait WHAT. STORMFRONT IS LIBERTY

-        Stormfront is like 70????

-        She’s really good with social media for an old bird

-        Ohhh fuck Homelander is pisssssssssed

-        Christ you’d know Homelander was an only child

-        Bitch you better not be fucking Butcher over

-        I FUCKIN KNEW IT

-        BECCA YOU RAGING BITCH

-        Got her goodbye fuck then called the supercops on him cause he’s a little broken? FUCK BECCA

-        Oh no Annie don’t give Hughie the “we can’t do this” talk

-        Pick your emo ass up and stop being melodramatic

-        All these women are chatting to Kevin?? Why??

-        Also this most recent one is super weird

-        THEY WERE INTERVIEWING TO BE KEVINS WIFE

-        This cult thing is so fuckin weird omfg

-        KEVIN GET YOUR SAD BUTT OUT OF THE CULT

-        Oh gross not the Doppelganger shit again

-        Doppelganger is really bad at flirting

-        ….

-        WHAT THE SHIT

-        Nonononono don’t do the selfcest

-        Not even Homelander is that fucked up

-        This is super weird

-        Why is Homelander crying

-        OH SHIT HE KILLED HIM

-        Uhhhh are they doing a lesbian scene in a vcu movie

-        Christ that was terrible and way too on the nose

-        “Strong female lesbians”

-        Homelander you himbo fuck what other kind of lesbian do you get

-        I feel bad for Ashley

-        She just wants to do her job well

-        Poor Butcher. His lil heart is broken

-        Oh no baby you’re hurt and upset? That’s so sad let me suck your dick about it

-        Oh no what’s he gonna do

-        BUTCHER WHAT THE SHIT

-        I mean it’s really fuckin hot but still

-        There’s always a cut on the cheekbone

-        “They’ve been moving her around like a Catholic priest” omg HUGHIE

-        Aww he called Hughie his canary

-        Oh shit are Frenchie and Kimiko missing?

-        KEVIN GOT MARRIED

-        BILLY HAS AN AUNTIE

-        Doggiiiiie

-        Awwwww soft Butcher with his dog

-        Aaaand now I feel bad for Atrain cause he’s being kicked to the curb

-        Oh gross this interview with Kevin and his cult wife

-        This is so cringe holy fuck

-        Bring back the Patton Oswalt gills

-        Why are the gangsters discussing musicals specifically Hamilton

-        FUCKING HELL KIMIKO PEELED OFF THAT GUYS FACE

-        Ahahaha the boys showed up at Butchers aunties house

-        The dog’s name is Terror that’s so cute

-        Hahahaha Hughie was holding the fuck pig

-        Why is there a sniper on the roof

-        Oh shit it’s Black Noir

-        Ugh what does Annie’s mom want and why is Stormfront being her friend

-        Oh hey it’s dickless

-        These two writer dudes are hella irritating

-        Poor Elena getting dragged into this shit

-        Yes Maeve scheme against his ass

-        Heartbroken Butcher is so tired

-        He needs a hug

-        Hughie give Butcher a hug please

-        Why is Kimiko in a church

-        Oh hey its Frenchie’s other girlfriend

-        Oh ok Kimiko is doing hits that’s fair

-        The old man just looking away like “I do not see it”

-        Aw no Frenchie don’t break up with Kimiko

-        Oh fuck off Cult Kevin

-        Stormfront again?????

-        Does this bitch ever fuck off

-        DID SHE JUST CALL ATRAIN GARBAGE

-        Wait why is Homelander giving an unapproved speech

-        This is gonna end in someone getting murdered isn’t it

-        OH FUCK

-        That’s a lot more murder than I expected

-        Ohhhh phew ok he was just daydreaming

-        Ashley is gonna go bald from stress

-        I adore grumpy Butcher

-        Omg auntie Judy is a drug dealer I love her

-        Ohhhh shit Homelander is having a nervous breakdown

-        BOBBY FROM X-MEN????

-        Uhhhh why is Homelander talking to Stormfront this can’t be good

-        Ooh MM set a trap this gon be good

-        BUTCHER HAS A BROTHER???? THAT HUGHIE IS LIKE

-        Oop Lenny is dead

-        The random explosions as Black Noir trips the traps

-        Oh shit Butcher locked the others out to face Black Noir alone

-        YES MM

-        OH NO MM

-        YES HUGHIE

-        Oh fuck did he KO Butcher

-        Shiiiit shit shit shit

-        Yes Butcher save your Hughie

-        Oh good they all survived

-        For fuck sake Kevin stop with the cult shit

-        Maeve please save Kevin from the cult

-        Annie why are you sneaking around don’t do it

-        There’s a lot of shots of Annie’s bum

-        What the fuck is Sage Grove

-        Stormfront needs to go choke on a bag of dicks

-        Oh fuck no not Homelander again

-        Uhhhhhhh

-        Stormfront x Homelander was not what I was expecting

-        These two have the WEIRDEST relationship

-        They’re gonna do some really fucked up supe bdsm shit aren’t they

-        Frenchie is Betty White. Fair enough

-        Wait what is happening. Why is Annie letting Frenchie at her with a lil saw

-        Ohhh the chip

-        “This might sting a little” FRENCHIE IT’S A FUCKIN SAW

-        Oh fuck that’s a big chip

-        Oh look it’s loves psychotic dream

-        Well that’s suitably gross

-        Aww Kimiko hugging Annie

-        Butcher is so menacing I love him

-        Kevin tryna be helpful to his buddies he’s so cute

-        NO! NO BAD KEVIN! STOP TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE JOIN YOUR CULT

-        Kimiko with her brass knuckle

-        Oh man, flowers??? Homelander has it BAD

-        Annie back the fuck off and leave Butcher alone

-        OH SHIT IT’S STORMFRONT AT THE HOSPITAL NOOOO

-        What the fuck is going on at this hospital

-        OH FUCK BOBBY FROM X-MEN IS LAMPLIGHTER

-        Oh shit who got let out

-        What does Cindy do

-        OH SHIT SHE’S THE HEAD BURSTER

-        Aaaaaaand now they’re all out

-        Good job, guys

-        Ewwwwww acid vomit

-        OH NO HUGHIE

-        Are you kidding me?? Annie can’t go all Starlight unless there’s a power source in the immediate vicinity??

-        What kinda fuckin shite superpower is that

-        Aha Butcher agrees with me

-        Ok so I’m guessing Homelander went berserk on set

-        Uhhhh apparently Cult Lunch is a therapy sesh?

-        Atrain get outta there

-        This cult leader guy is an arsehole

-        Hospital escape lookin like a horror survival game

-        Awwww flashbacks to happy times

-        Omfg Butcher with the slicked back hair

-        Welp, Annie just killed a guy

-        Oh shit a baby seat

-        Annie is gonna have a bad case of the guilts now

-        Oh fuck ok Lamplighter killed the kids by accident

-        So Frenchie went to save his friend instead of tailing

-        Oh god that’s the penis isn’t it

-        Stormfront to the…rescue? Maybe? She’s gonna kill Lamplighter isn’t she

-        Oh, no ok she didn’t kill him

-        Aw no sad Butcher cause Hughie’s hurt

-        Oh nooooo Elena found a video from the plane

-        Mallory gon kill sad Lamplighter?

-        Stormfront is coming clean to Homelander? Whaaaa

-        She was buddies with the Nazis??? SHE WAS MARRIED TO THE VOUGHT FOUNDER GUY

-        Oh fuck the head burster is still alive

-        A montage of how Stormfront is brainwashing people into racist attacks, nice

-        I hate Annie’s mom so much

-        Black Noir has just fuckin LAMPED Annie

-        Butchers mum called him 😂😂

-        Oh shit his dad died

-        Why are Hughie and Lamplighter watching knock off supe porn

-        Oh boy a racist rally

-        Homelander just threw Annie under the bus

-        Hughie that’s a really weird pep talk

-        And he’s gonna get Lamplighter killed

-        BUTCHERS MUM IS ADORABLE

-        Oh shit it’s Denethor

-        And he’s not dead

-        Oh fuck he’s why Lenny died?

-        Shit Lenny shot himself

-        Butcher was SAS???

-        WHERE ARE MY PICS OF BUTCHER IN HIS ARMY UNIFORM

-        Ah fuck he’s bringing stepmommy Stormfront to meet the kid

-        I have an urge to run my fingers through Butchers beard

-        Frenchie and Kimiko are too cute she’s teaching him her sign language

-        Is this a cult birthday party?

-        Poor Eagle the Archer. He pissed off the cult so he’s gon be excommunicated

-        Uhhhh kiddo made a Lego film?

-        Good for him

-        I know it shouldn’t be sexy when Butcher starts threatening to brutally murder people in his growly voice, I know, but hear me out: sexy growly voice

-        11/10 would let Karl Urban murder me

-        Oh FUCK Lamplighter killed himself

-        Poor Hughie

-        Why do all the bad things happen to him, like having to saw off a dead guy’s hand with a broken whiskey decanter

-        Annie versus Black Noir, beat his/her ass girl!

-        HUGHIE COME SAVE YOUR ANNIE

-        YAY MAEVE

-        Black Noir has an almond allergy that’s such an off the wall weakness

-        Annie’s favourite chocolate bar saved her life

-        Well Maeve did, technically. But still

-        Omg Hughie accidentally saving Annie’s mom

-        Hughie and Annie are too cute

-        Oh shiiiiit Homelander screwed the pooch and showed the kid everything

-        HAHA SUCK IT BECCA

-        OH SHIT HEADS ARE BURSTING ALL OVER THE PLACE

-        Butcher in his lil jumper

-        For a non-American, this school safety psa video is supremely weird

-        BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS CALLED BOB

-        BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS JUST BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURAL BUT FANCY

-        Annie’s mom critiquing her choice in boyfriends while in mortal danger is gas

-        And typical

-        The lads going nuts with weapons they’re so happy look at them

-        And Butcher in his lil jumper again he looks so comfy

-        I would very much like to cuddle him in the soft jumper and give him beard scritches

-        Annie ffs let Hughie enjoy his Billy Joel, that’s a good choice

-        Ahahaha Maeve just called Hughie a twink

-        She’s not wrong

-        Oh fuck off Becca

-        Uuuuugh OF COURSE Mr Edgar is in with the cult

-        Oop Atrain overheard all of that

-        Poor Ashley she’s going bald from stress

-        The kid is gonna have a meltdown

-        Poor Hughie with his mom leaving

-        I wonder if she’ll pop up at some point and turn out to be a supe that would be fun

-        ATRAIN YOU CAN’T JUST APPEAR IN A CAR LIKE THAT YOU COULDA KILLED SOMEONE

-        Hold the phone is Homelander actually being a good dad for a minute

-        What the actual fuck is Stormfront on with this white genocide shit

-        Ahahaha the news broke

-        Uh oh the Vought soldiers got caught by Homelander

-        OH SHIT

-        MM BETTER BE OK

-        Becca fuckin constantly squawking about Ryan is so annoying

-        WHY IS KIMIKO LAUGHING

-        It’s adorable but still

-        Oh FUCK she snapped her neck

-        She’ll be fine

-        She’s like a wolverine, snapped neck won’t keep her down

-        AYYYYY MAEVE

-        The lads just watching them kicking the shit out of her like uhhh

-        Oh hey Becca did something useful and stabbed the Nazi in the eye

-        Huh. The kid melted Stormfront

-        Good for him

-        AHAHAHA YES HE GOT BECCA TOO

-        BYEEEEE FELICIAAAAA

-        I mean yeah, heartbroken sad Butcher isn’t nice to see, but Becca sucked

-        Aaaand now Homelander covered in blood has arrived to listen to Stormfront babble in German

-        This is like in those scenes where it’s like oh who will the dog go to

-        Ayyy Atrain got back into the 7

-        Aww poor Kevin getting rejected again

-        See Kevin this is why we don’t join cults

-        Annie thought he was breaking up with her, girl don’t be daft

-        Butcher and the kid, not awkward at all

-        The one lesson Butcher can teach a kid – “don’t be a cunt”

-        Aww happy endings for all the boys

-        Aaaaand a “happy ending” for Homelander too by the looks of it

-        Oh ffs a corrupt politician in with the cult, what a surprise

-        HIS HEAD BURST

-        Wait the politician lady is the head burster? I’m so confused

-        Confusion may have been aided by it being almost 3am

-        Hughie getting a real job, bless him

-        Too bad it’s with the head burster

-        Oh this is such a good song to end the season with

-        Welp, now begins the long wait for season 3, I guess

-        Should I sleep or find fic to read

-        Body says sleep, heart says fic

-        That’s a lie, heart says Butcher

-        ….Butcher fics it is

[vrylium]

THOBM S1:E4

While I’m here I’d like to obnoxiously discuss why Episode 4 of Bly Manor is my favorite, regarding the portrayal of Dani’s inner struggle with her sexuality, through a point-by-point chronological analysis.

Part 1: First Flashback

The episode opens with a flashback to Dani’s childhood, revealing the owner of the glasses as Eddie. Dani says she needs to go home, but Eddie insists she stays. At this point, persuading her to stay is relatively innocent. Some day, it won’t be.

We then leap to the moments before Dani and Eddie’s rehearsal dinner. Eddie asks if she’s ready, and Dani hesitates, giving a weak “I think so,” which Eddie brushes off without much concern, perhaps chalking it up to stage fright.

Dani does not speak at the rehearsal, but Eddie does. In his speech, he reveals that Dani had to dare him to kiss her, presumably because she couldn’t do it herself. He calls her “Danielle”, never “Dani”. Additionally, Eddie spent their adolescence and early adulthood asking Dani to marry him, each time receiving a “no” until Dani finally caved in. Why Eddie is so surprised about being dumped later on is beyond me.

Eddie’s mom, Judy, catches Dani escaping the dance floor and gives Dani her old wedding dress. Dani holds the dress in front of herself before a mirror and Judy asks her to say, “Good morning, Mrs. O’Mara,” in reference to both the first time she met Dani, and Dani’s wedding day when that will also become her name, too.

During this segment, both Eddie and Judy insist that Dani knows what she wants. Judy even encourages her to speak her mind. This puts some responsibility on Dani for her predicament, and it’s not entirely undue. Dani is passive. She is trapped, yes, but she has also taken no measures toward freeing herself.

Part 2: Day of the Funeral

The flashback ends and Dani’s in her room at Bly, getting ready for Owen’s mom’s funeral. The timing of Dani remembering her impending wedding on the day of a FUNERAL is incredibly telling, as is the obvious link between Judy’s dress and Dani’s only black one.

Jamie comes in, and when Dani expresses her reservations Jamie doesn’t pressure her to go if she’s not comfortable doing so. Jamie’s, “I don’t need you to be my date to Owen’s mom’s funeral” suggests they’ve discussed going together, probably sometime that same morning, but Jamie doesn’t trap her in that arrangement. She readily gives Dani a way out and doesn’t shame her about it. (Compare to Eddie and Dani before the rehearsal).

Dani asks Jamie to help her out of the black dress (just the zipper!). The point of this isn’t merely sexual tension, it’s also symbolic of Jamie freeing Dani from a life she equates with death. Eddie’s specter shows up, right on schedule, to guilt Dani for her intimacy with Jamie.

Part 3: The Kitchen & Dani’s Nervous Episode

Jamie returns from the funeral to find Hannah, Dani, and the kids preparing supper in the kitchen. Jamie eerily foreshadows the struggle she and Dani will face in their future relationship, as well as her own character development, when she discusses care for someone with a terminal condition.

Jamie catches Dani staring at her. Dani averts her gaze but keeps glancing back even as she approaches the kitchen sink. Eddie makes an appearance, as expected, and it thoroughly rattles Dani because his form has become physical as he places his hands on her hips. (It may be somewhat of a stretch, but the physicality of Eddie might imply that Dani's private thoughts toward Jamie were trending toward the ‘physical’). She excuses herself in a panic; it’s all coming to a head because she’s starting to realize what this means for herself.

Part 4: Second Flashback

Dani’s getting Judy’s old wedding dress fitted. Judy and her own mother watch. For such a short scene, this one is DENSE. Allow me to draw your attention to a few spicy quotes: “Luckily, Danielle does not share my taste in men.” - Dani’s mother. “Well, lucky for Edmund; he’s the lucky one in this equation...” - Judy. “Danielle’s father helped pick [my dress] out, and look how THAT turned out.” - Dani’s mother. Everything here has double meaning. From the obvious implication that Dani doesn’t have a taste in men at all, to the more subtler “THAT” referring to both Dani’s mom’s bad marriage and how Dani ‘turned out’ (to be non-heterosexual).

The tailor flirts with Dani. Or seems to. Either way, Dani hones in on it; how she compliments her shoulders, gives her a smile, lets a hand linger on her lower back. Dani sees their reflections together in the mirror.

When Dani resurfaces from this flashback she looks solemn, even grim, with realization. She’s still looking at Jamie, but now she understands why.

Part 5: Third Flashback & The Bonfire

Dani joins Jamie, Owen, and Hannah for a bonfire outside. She spaces out and recalls the night Eddie died. They went to dinner that night. Dani nervously bites her fingernails and Eddie says, “Hey, easy. You’re going to hurt yourself.” Dani replies, “I’m sorry. I keep trying to stop.” Some more subtext there. It should also be pointed out that Eddie doesn’t even ask what’s wrong, or if she’s okay. He just assumes it’s the stress of planning their wedding. Little does he know, Dani’s about to break up with him. She almost doesn’t, at first. She tip-toes around it. “I thought I wanted it. I wanted to want it... [there’s] so many people to let down...” Then Eddie says, “For a second it almost sounded like you didn’t want to get married at all,” and the opportunity is finally right in front her, put in words, because she hasn’t been able to do it herself.

They talk in the car. Dani says she didn’t want to hurt anyone, because she still loves Eddie, just not like that. “And it’s just what we were doing... If I could just stick it out, eventually I would feel how I was supposed to.” They’ve been physically intimate, but Dani’s been unable to feel any emotional connection.

Angry and hurt, Eddie exits the car, gets hit by a truck, and dies. This is the source of the guilt that haunts Dani. She blames everything on herself. If she had just married him, or had the guts to be truthful about herself earlier, Eddie would still be alive. This is her flawed logic, and it sabotages her every time she tries to move forward. She sees Eddie in reflections because she can’t bear to confront herself.

Back at the bonfire, they toast the dead. Jamie toasts the late Wingraves. Dani, too, surprisingly. What’s important is that she praises who Dani is: “a bit of a weirdo, but stronger than she thinks”. It’s brief, but significant when you contrast it with Eddie’s speech at the dinner rehearsal, where he gives no real indication that he even knows who Dani is. To him, Dani is Danielle, “this amazing, beautiful girl” and while those are nice things to say, he speaks nothing of Dani’s character. 

Part 6: The Greenhouse

Dani and Jamie sneak away to the greenhouse, where Dani elaborates about her fiance and confesses how she still ‘sees’ him. Jamie doesn’t say she’s crazy, instead focusing on what matters: that Dani’s surviving. Jamie knows grief and trauma. She knows how it can fuck people up in different ways, from first-hand experience. It’s acceptance and the peace of being heard and seen that compels Dani to kiss her. She doesn’t have to dare Jamie, she doesn’t passively wait for it to happen, no, she takes the initiative to make a move first because for the first time possibly ever, Dani knows what she wants. But her guilt’s still there. It ruins the moment when she sees Eddie again.

Part 7: Drunk Dani Putting the Past to Rest

After drinking courage into herself and nearly getting fucking bodied by Viola on her way out, Dani tosses Eddie’s glasses into the bonfire and confronts his ghost a final time. She knows what she wants, but she first needs to make peace with the past and with herself. 

In conclusion: This episode was a true delight from a critical point of view. Dani’s journey from realization to self-acceptance was filled with subtlety and heart the whole way through and I had such a good time picking out the parallels, subtext, and symbolism. I know S1:E9 is probably more popular, because yeah, that all happened, but S1:E4 was so well-written, personally relevant, and teeming with storytelling devices that the writer in me could not for a second consider any other entry as my favorite episode of the season.

[gothiccwhore]

13 reasons why season 4 review

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS IN THIS!! if you haven’t finished the season yet i suggest you skip this!! :)

also this will be super long because i tend to ramble and i’ll give reviews for each character/most of the storylines! ((half way through reading this i read @jessica-acholas and @analuciacortez reviews and i agreed with a lot of it so you guys should all read their reviews as well!!))

over all ranking:

as a whole, i would give this season a 7/10. i originally was gonna give it a 6 but they get an extra point for all the zalex scenes we got, and i also was thinking of the mess that was s3 so i had to give them that extra point too

storylines/the season as a whole:

my biggest concern/annoyance with this season was how rushed or repetitive it was

every storyline this season was either super rushed or super dragged out- no in between. the fact that we only had 10 episodes as opposed to the normal 13 probably had a part in this, which idk why they cut the episodes short. let’s start off with the dragged out storylines, one of them being clay’s nightmare sequences. i honestly did like his therapy scenes because it was good to see him get help and he was a much better narrator than ani, but his nightmare scenes were so long i literally had to skip all of them i got so bored. another dragged out storyline was jesstin, which i probably will get complains about. i think they have their cute scenes and i do love both characters, especially jess being tied with alex for #1 and justin being in my top 5. but my god their storyline/relationship is beyond repetitive, its been the exact same thing for 4 whole seasons. they break up, have a long speech about how they’re not right for each other, spend the whole season pining after each other, make up in the end and then have another speech about how in love they are. like writers please make up your mind- do you want them together or not?? we also had another repetitive love triangle this season just like every other with justin jess and diego as opposed to the justin jess and alex one for like 2 seasons.

now for the rushed storylines, one of them being alex’s relationship with charlie. i love charlie ever since we saw him in s3, he’s so pure and a lovable guy and i love how he loves alex. however they happened like out of nowhere?? alex went from being in love with jess for 3 seasons to being in love with 2 people in 4 episodes. if you blinked you would’ve missed the “build up” to their relationship, and honestly it felt like they just randomly threw in some relationship for alex because they didn’t wanna have zalex happen. i’m not saying this to be bitter (maybe i am lol) but zalex had 3 seasons worth of build up and could’ve been an amazing slow burn relationship for the whole season, instead they rushed another relationship. zach is also another character who had a rushed storyline with his drinking problem, which literally happened out of nowhere too?? he just showed up this season drunk in the first scene and drunk in literally every single scene we saw him in. this storyline also never got resolved, it just stuck there like the writers didn’t even care to end or resolve it. just like how zalex could’ve worked better for alex, it could’ve worked better for zach too since his drinking problem could’ve been helped by alex. i swear the writers just hate us at this point

characters review:

clay: one of my favorites honestly, he’s in my top 5. sure clay has had his moments where he’s been annoying and extra but so has literally every single character in this show- besides tony lol. like i stated above my main concern was how dragged out his sequences were this season, like i couldn’t watch all of them. also another huge problem i had with him this season was how big of a jerk he was to justin??? for like half of the season he was rude to him and would give snarky remarks/hints like when he was surprised colleges would even want justin, which i don’t blame justin for thinking that clay expected him to just relapse again and throw his life away. the same can be said for when clay said all those awful things to him at the party- his parents not being his and not trusting him like wtf? i felt SO BAD for justin there i was expecting clay to apologize to him. on the topic of the party episode, he literally crashed zach’s car and sent them flying 30 ft in the air just to leave zach all alone to literally die?? then there’s also the part where he and ani outed alex before he was ready to fully come out which sucks, that’s something you should never do but i know he was just worried about alex and didn’t want him to get heartbroken over winston - but why didn’t you tell him sooner??

ani: like i said with clay, i hated how she outed alex before he was ready to come out. i don’t understand how her and clay both didn’t think to tell everyone - especially ALEX who literally killed bryce and would’ve gotten hurt the most about winston?? they both knew that winston and alex both knew each other and met at the hillcrest party, so why not tell him winston is gonna be looking for information to clear monty’s name?? alex is literally the only person you guys SHOULDVE told first?? however i did enjoy her this season as opposed to s3, she had a great redemption and i liked that she finally apologized to jess for sleeping with bryce. she also wasn’t up everyone’s business this season and i loved all her scenes with jess, especially the prom ones

alex: HAAAAAA BI KING WHO GOT HIS HAPPY ENDING AND DIDNT GO TO JAIL FOR FLOORING THAT RAPIST!!! HOW DO YOU BRYCE AND MONTY STANS FEEL THAT BOTH OF THEM ARE 6FT UNDER WHILE ALEX IS FREE 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 i’m so happy he got his happy ending and became secure in his sexuality, that’s all i ever wanted for him since s1. i’m not saying this because i’m biased and he’s my favorite character, but he truly was one of the only characters who didn’t annoy me this season. he had a great arc even if it was super rushed, we finally got a zalex mutual love confession (i’m still bitter that we didn’t get our endgame but in my head we did), and i love how even if he and justin had their differences in the past seasons he was there for him in the end. i don’t really have any complaints about him besides the whole charlie thing being super rushed and so random?? why did the show put 2 bottoms together like we wouldn’t notice 🤨🤨

jessica: jess is my favorite character tied with alex, both of them have been since s1. i loved how she continued to be her badass self this season but a lot of the things she did/said kinda rubbed me the wrong way?? like i applauded her for calling out ani for judging who she was sleeping with after ani slept with bryce, but when you think about it diego literally is a rape apologist too?? jess tyler is literally your friend why would you date the guy who’s defending his rapist?? also don’t get me started how diego treated clay horribly this season, he was suffering with his mental illness and he played pranks on him and called him a psycho??? clay has always been there for you jess and he’s also one of your friends why would you still hang out with diego?? also in the first episode where justin breaks up with her and she got mad at him i got upset with her, justin made valid points he’s a recovering drug addict who needs to focus on himself not a relationship. i don’t understand why she got so mad at that, it was lowkey ooc for her? overall i still loved her i just hate how the writers reduce her to only a guy each season, but she still was amazing over all and looked beautiful!! her scenes with ani were great and i cried so much at her scenes with justin at the end.

zach: another one of my favorite characters who the writers did so dirty this season. i’ve loved zach since s1 as well, he’s in my top 5 and i’ve always loved how even if he was a jock he was still good hearted and there for everyone. i hated how in this season the writers forgot all of his traits and basically wrote him as a new person?? his drinking storyline was beyond random and had no build up/not even a resolution in the end. where even was his mother or sister this entire season. the show always paid him dirt and never focused on his home life when it was clear he didn’t have the best relationship with his mom. i’m so annoyed at how they wrote him as a “drunk” all season and didn’t even acknowledge his struggles. his scenes with alex were great, and i loved every single one of them. i’m still dying on the zalex hill and saying that they missed the perfect opportunity to make them a couple, it would’ve helped his storyline just like alex’s.

justin: oh my god, when i say my heart broke in the last episode it really did. i remember hating justin in s1, and then loving him in s2 with him being in my top 5 favorite characters. he had the best redemption arc, and i loved his portrayal of a recovering drug addict. i’m thinking now and he also didn’t annoy me this season just like alex, he was great and i’m so sad how they basically stomped all over his arc by killing him. it’s clear the show only killed him off because clay started the show by losing someone he loved, and ended it the same way. him dying by aids was so random and made 0 sense, i honestly thought he was gonna die from an overdose when discussing theories because i had a feeling it was either him or alex who were gonna die. they didn’t have a buildup for his hiv/aids- only added scars/bruises throughout the season which no one noticed if they weren’t closely examining him. i’m so saddened by his death and i will be planning a funeral for him along with zalex’s 💔.

tony: honestly a great character throughout the whole show, never was annoying and always was there for literally everyone. tony has always been a fighter and has been through so much without showing it, and i’m glad he got to go to college at the end and see his sister. i’m also so happy we got more scenes between tony and caleb this season because they are one of my favorite couples and are so underrated in the show and with fans ❤️ i was upset when he didn’t believe tyler, but i understood where he was coming from because he just wanted to be safe.

tyler: he’s so pure and i also loved his arc throughout the show, i’m so happy he has friends who love him and him and estela were so cute! i wish they explored more about him and the sheriffs working together because i honestly was confused about that before rewatching scenes. i also hate how they made him feel bad about monty dying when it literally was not his fault a rapist got killed in prison- monty’s rotting 6 ft under hello let’s celebrate to that!! i also loved how he was so supportive when he found out about winston and alex on the camping trip, he seemed worried about alex when winston said they broke up. i also love how alex was the only one who truly believed in him the entire show.

bryce: good riddance!! when i say i yelled when jess saw him when she was burning the tape why did he smile like pennywise?2@/@20so glad we saw no flashbacks of him this season and that he was just an annoying ghost, but even that annoyed me

monty: just like bryce good riddance!!! thank god we didn’t get that much of a redemption arc because i would’ve lost it- even though i literally rolled my eyes every time his ghost tried to say something that was supposed to make us feel bad for him. he’s rotting with bryce 🧚🏻‍♀️🤩

charlie: i loved him, he was so nice to everyone and so pure. i just wish they let him and alex be just friends because that came out of nowhere. i hope he’s baking more cookies and being happy

caleb: such a supportive bf i love him and tony, wish we saw more of him but i hope he’s living his best life <3

winston: he gave me joe from you vibes the entire season why was he creepy lowkey s:@:&;&!392&-03@3&4 nobody @ me but for a second i thought him and alex were cute during the bowling scene then i remembered who he was. he was a rape apologist which i hated, like dude he’s dead get over it i promise that dick probably wasn’t that good that you have to do a whole fbi investigation for him. the fact that he fell in love with monty and alex after like a week is sending me oddjdkckdkdj but i too am in love with alex standall so i see where he’s coming from, he gets points for not turning alex in at the end but i expected him to be a bigger villain this season but thank god he wasn’t because i would’ve floored him

chloe: my best girl who i wish we saw more of we only saw her for like 3 scenes?? the show did her dirty even in s3 she should’ve had more scenes her storyline was amazing :/ i did enjoy her and zach’s friendship it was so refreshing to see a m/f friendship and i’m glad they didn’t make them romantic. i didn’t expect her and scott to date but go girl!!

diego: literally came out of nowhere where were you for the other 3 seasons? i literally laughed every time he would talk about missing monty like who cares if he got you into football he was a rapist no one cares. i hated how he made clay go literally insane by pulling those pranks on him and calling him psycho?? “why’d you bring a knife” MF YOU GAVE IT TO HIM???? he was nice at the end so i guess i’ll give him some points and he also wasn’t a HUGE jerk i liked how him and justin helped each other when the cop was being racist/a dick and that he seemed upset at justin’s funeral

estela: her and tyler were super cute together and i loved how she acknowledged what monty did and didn’t try to make excuses to defend him. also loved how she wanted to join HO and was completely different from monty

so overall that was my review of the season, i will miss the characters so much and zalex will continue to haunt me every night i cannot escape 💔 jess and alex are my emotional support characters who would’ve thought. selena gomez and the 13rw writers you will pay for your crimes this season!

[mikereads]

What S5 of Supergirl should have focused on.

I wanted to post this before the season finale, just because it may have a good finale that doesn’t make up for all the mistakes the show made along the way, especially the ones that could have been easily fixed with some proper storytelling that not only pleases the fans but better suits the story your trying to tell. 

1. Kara and Nias friendship/ mentor ship. This season preferably 5B is somewhat focusing on Kara trying to catch Lex. Get proof on him that proves he is not what he seems to be. One of the ways she is doing this is through journalism. Instead of having Kara work with William she should have worked with Nia and here’s why. Not only does it make sense but it would improve the plot the only thing William has is a bad feeling about Lex and as good as that can be think of Nia who not only has the same feeling but knows he’s bad because she has her memories from Earth 38 while to back that up while on the other hand William does not. It’s a wild goose chase with him he doesn’t know what he’s looking for but Nia does. I mean just think that through who would make more sense for Kara to work with Someone who simply has a biased gut feeling that he’s bad because of what happened to his friend vs someone who has all of her memories and knows he is bad so she simply knows what to look for and can investigate what Lex changed comparing her new vs old memories. Its logistically makes more sense to use Nia. As important as diversity is and as much as the show should value its woman more above all that it just makes sense. When they first introduced Nia they implied they wanted them to have a similar relationship to Supercat this time reversed having Kara be the mentor which is great. It can show how much Kara has grown since season 1. Last season they started to do that but that’s been mainly dropped since 4B and its a real shame. They could have a similar type relationship if the show focused on them more but if they don’t then they won’t be able to because it won’t have the same amount dept. They’re showing vs telling but then again the show has been having a big problem with that lately with many characters/aspects of the show. 

Also hes not even a good reporter/journalist Lex said he has been spoon feeding William all his info. It’s such a joke the show tried to amp him up as being such a good reporter yet he’s awful heck Winn could have done a better job at reporting. 

2. Karas past/ trauma 

Kara has been through so much this past season and it isn’t even finished yet. The fall out of her relationship with Lena. Lex rising to power once again and lastly LOSING HER ENTIRE PLANET AND FAMILY once again! The show really hasn’t discussed/ tackled Karas trauma/ past since s3 and even then it was only briefly and contained to one episode arcs vs in s1 when it was dispersed throughout the entire season. With everything that has happened this would have been a perfect season to do that and go back to its roots of S1 but in true Supergirl fashion they didn’t. So far has contained Kara only mentioning her past when it comes to Hope speeches which even those are rare now a days. Since crisis ended I think Kara has only mentioned it twice if at all and that’s when week of the villains forced her to (other Brainy bottling his earth). Kara has lost everyone once again in s1 it was Karas main mission to make sure that wouldn’t happen again she would save earth like she couldn’t save Krypton at whatever means necessary. Then in crisis she wasn’t able to do that and despite everything she did she wasn’t able to do so and lost everyone. Her sister her moms her friends everyone. She succeeded in getting everyone back but it shouldn’t be dismissed that she lost everyone yet it is. 5B should have heavily focused on this through the main of the week plotlines/ through her relationships with her friends and family. Like Melissa wants this finally should have been the season where Kara goes to therapy. Like I genuinely don’t get this show Kara lost everyone yet its barely mentioned Kara and Alex only share one scene discussing it and that was during the crossover in the legends episode it wasn’t even an episode of Supergirl that did it (big sigh) when another show does better things with your characters then you do that’s a problem. She lost her mom Eliza yet they have shared no scenes well none outside the funeral which had nothing to do with her and was another example of them not letting her grieve. Its so unrealistic that Kara wouldn’t have flown to Midvale the minute she was able to do to give Eliza the biggest hug it doesn’t matter if Eliza wouldn’t have her memories Kara would (the actress returned this season so she was clearly available to shoot more scenes yet didn’t because this is supergirl after all). Sidenote can they have Kara call Eliza mom more often like having her call her mom doesn’t make Alura her mom anyless she can have two moms because she actually does I know mind blowing. She lost her mom Alura twice yet they refuse to mention outside of a line or two that’s there more so to move along the plot. This has been a problem ever since they had her return in s3 but Kara has so many unresolved feelings and now she’s lost her twice and yet they still refuse so address it which is not only frustrating but sad for Kara as a character. She should be able to address these feelings about how she’s mad at her/ how she felt abandoned by her and still love her a the same time. Them showing Kara be mad at her doesn’t mean she loves her anyless and would be more healthy in the long run yet they won’t do it. 

3. Lenas past, ptsd, and her mother. 

They have been teasing for years whether not not Lena would turn truly evil but hinting at things over and over again and even though everything Lena has done proved the opposite it was still a lingering question. This was supposed to be the season that finally tackled this subject headon and show where Lena would land now knowing Kara/ Supergirl’s secret. I’m not upset Lena did questionable things going into this season I knew they would do so more then ever and from 5x01 that was adamant and I think it was very important to finally do for her character going forward to finally confirm that Lena was good/isn’t Lex. If they wanted to show and contrast how different Lena is from the Luthors there is so many others ways to do that, by just letting Lena be Lena is one of them. You’ve have been writing her that way for 4 YEARS, don’t change that by trying to make the show more interesting by adding “drama” you began to ruin it and an amazing character. That being said the way the show executed that was very poorly 5A was okay but 5B like it did with a lot of things was ultimately the down fall for this season. They’re first big mistake being Non-nocere. Now seeing 5x18 I get its overall idea and reason for being there but it still only should have been a side plot that was around for 4 to 5 episodes tops in the beginning of the season. It also really proves that it was never truly there for Lena it was a plotline made for Lex and to show just how manipulative he can be over which is so frustrating because once again they throw their main women characters to the side to help the men which are guest/minor. It was dragged on to long and stayed way past its prime to the point where it was unenjoyable even Katies amazing acting skills can only carry a bad plot line for so long. Non-nocere should have been there to help Lenas plot line not the other way around. It should have revolved around her story but not be her entire plot line for the season. I think them just going over Lenas trauma, abuse, neglect and abandonment issues would have been enough and a much more effective storyline then Non-nocere but if they wanted to use it then I think they should have atleast called back to Lenas past storylines. When Lena found about what Jack was doing with Biomax she was not only disgusted but terrified her feelings on that wouldn’t have changed so instead of it being nearly implied it should have been mentioned and it should have been one of the things that helped her realize how bad it was sooner. Her getting over the lo0se of Non-nocere and how she feels as though she failed once again would have been much better than the actual story of her using non-nocere itself. She was so afraid in season two that her feelings would get the best of her “I am very, very afraid of the person I might be”. This should have been explored way more and lastly instead of them only focusing on her mom for one episode for the plot (the medallion) it should have been a recurring storyline all season. Not only that she misses her but how her death affects her and how she puts her mom up on a pedestal because she never really knew her only what she remembers about her which isn’t a lot. The guilt she feels over her death etc. If they wanted to use it to move the plot forward they easily could have done that. There was a fan theory Lena’s mom was not only alive but behind Leviathan and that would have been so interesting. Here’s a woman she’s held up to such high standards all her life it would be interesting to see the effects of that. That maybe her mom wasn’t who she believed she was to be and that combined with Karas betrayal could have launched her going to the “dark side”. Also I love Katie and I love seeing more of her on my screen but they really couldn’t find another actress to play her mom or better yet not use a shitty wig. A wig isn’t gonna change anything we all know its Katie. It’s fine you used her many shows use there actors for multiple parts the wig was so unnecessary especially when it’s that bad (thank god Katie could pull off any look, ugly outfits and party city wigs included). Using her to play the mom wasn’t bad and would make a lot of sense as to why Lillian hates her so much she’s a spitting image of her mom. It doesn’t excuse the abuse Lena was a child but it makes sense. I mean she did say Lena looked so much like her etc. Then again shitty wigs are the least of their problems, fix your storylines above all else. 

Bonus: You know your fan favorite couple is Lena and Kara and since this is supposed to be a season about their relationship just lean all in don’t tease and then not have them interact for 5 episodes in a row it’s frustrating. 

This post is becoming a little too long so I may make a part 2 because I sure have a lot more to say. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #363

(one more that’s a late upload from way earlier in the day, and i yet again don’t feel like updating the answers)

What brings out the worst in you? When I'm very anxious or having a PTSD episode, I can become very snappy and just not a joy to be around. What all did you eat today? This morning I had oatmeal, I had a rice cake as a snack, and lunch was ham and cheese on a tortilla. Some people were really destructive as a child, were you? No, I was a good kid. Who was the last person you were in a car with? My mom. Who was the last person you cried in front of? It was probably Mom. Do you talk about your feelings or hide them? I usually talk about them somewhere, like in surveys if I feel I can't with anyone else. Please be vocal with your feelings. It is so destructive to let them build up. Who was the last person you were with that smelled REALLY good? I'm unsure. Do you know anyone that is gothic? A good number of people, myself included at least in spirit. ;~; I can't really afford good attire, nor do I have the patience for so much makeup maintenance. Have you seen UP? I actually haven't seen the full movie, but I'd like to. How is your mom? Stressed as fuck and tired of everything. What color hair does your mom have? She recently dyed it black. Her hair is growing back totally gray now and she hated it. She's gotten so self-conscious as she's aged. When was the last time you were told you were cute? Idk. Do you feel comfortable getting up and giving speeches? FUCK NO. Have you ever dipped french fries in a frosty? I tried it once and did not get the appeal. Did you have school/class today? No. My school endeavors are done. Do you have any paintings in your room? If so, of what? Yeah, I have my big painting of meerkats grooming above all my 'kat plushies. Have you ever had your photo professionally taken? As a child and by school photographers, anyway. Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding. After washing your hair, do you put any products in it? No. Last time you ate a salad? Like a week ago when we went to Ichiban for my sister's bday. Do you know how old your house is? No, I don't. Have you ever been described as ”adorable”? Yeah. Have you ever given a lap dance? No. They seem incredibly awkward to me?? Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make mega bucks? No. I can't do a job I hate for anything. I would be so depressed. Are you a moody person? Yes. What are you listening to? I'm watching Gab Smolders' new episode of Resident Evil 8: Village. I'm deadass watching four different LPers play it, I'm only moderately obsessed lmao. What video game could you waste the most time on? WoW, given it has like a zillion different things to do. Yet I still get bored lmao. What is your favorite condiment? Maybe Ketchup? I think I use that for the most things. What is the worst thing that you have ever done? I don't feel like getting into this. How old were you when your parents gave you the "birds and the bees" talk? They didn't; I learned in my school's sex ed in the 5th grade. Have you ever questioned whether or not you'd benefit from therapy? I have benefited from it. What would you like it to say on your gravestone? Hypothetically, idk. But I'd rather be cremated. Would you ever wear real leather or animal fur? NO. Have you ever completely failed a year of school and had to repeat a grade? No. Have you ever been bitten by an animal that wasn't a cat or a dog? Which? I think my old baby iguana bit me once or twice, not that it was very painful at her young age. I can't recall another animal. What type of literature are you most likely to read? (book, magazine, etc) Books. Do you prefer using candles, wax melts, or incense? Incense. Are you someone who actually doesn't have a Facebook? No, I have one. What kind(s) of Facebook groups are you active in, if any? I'm not really *active* in any; I just observe them and interact via "like"s. I'm actually in a whole lot of groups, though. Do you enjoy any herbal or fruit teas? What kinds? Neither. Do you hear any animals right now? No. What are your thoughts on Avenged Sevenfold? I know and like a few songs, especially "Dear God." Do you like Batman? Yeah, I like his "refuse to murder" ideology. The only thing is I kinda have a bad connection attached to him, because Batman was Jason's thing. Have you ever played fetch with a dog? Yes. Does your house have a fireplace? Yeah actually, but it might be fake? I don't even know lol. Have you ever pet a stingray? No. Have you ever dissected a baby pig in a class at school? Oh my god, no. I literally could never. I did dissect a frog in the 7th grade that wound up to be pregnant, though... I wasn't happy about it, but at the same time it was very interesting. Who is the last baby you held? My niece. Do you like Sunkist? The orange kind is fine, but the STRAWBERRY flavor? Jfc I love that shit. Would you ever consider being a cannibal? UM NO Do you have any scars from an animal? I have a lot of scars on my hands from playing with Roman. I scar extremely easily, so just his little scrapes leave marks. Have you ever seen an Igloo? No. Do you like Korn? Love 'em. How many animals do you have? Really two, but we have three in the house right now. Idk when this dog is going away. Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes? Tornados. Ever rode in a helicopter? No. Do you like rabbits? Yes, they're adorable. Do you like mushrooms? NO. What was the last movie you cried at? I want to say Logan, but I'm not sure. I watch movies so rarely that I really don't know. Would you rather work for a small or large company? Small. I'd feel more useful. What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? I don't know. Have you ever read the book 13 Reasons Why? Yeah. I thought it was good, but now I don't remember like... anything about it. What did you have for breakfast this morning? I had apple and cinnamon oatmeal. How many times have you read your favorite book? Just once. I don't re-read books. Have you ever been on Omegle? No. Are you still in love with one of your exes? "In love," no. Do you think being born was a mistake? Yeesh, no. Has a relative ever been arrested? My psychotic uncle (by marriage) has been. Was it a serious crime? Quite honestly, I don't remember. I just know he's an angry and dangerous motherfucker. Do you think the Fountain of Youth exists? No. How about in a parallel dimension? Doubtful. Do you believe humans are part of a giant alien experiment? I ponder over the possibility of being a research simulation, kind of like a much advanced version of The Sims, but I honestly doubt it. Have you ever been suicidal? Yes. Was it a passing phase or is it something controlled by medication? Therapy and medication saved me. Is there a holiday you wish no one celebrated? Which is it? Why do you feel that way? Fight me about Christopher Columbus Day. He didn't discover shit. Have you taken any writing classes? How about art? I've taken a writing course in college, and I've taken loads of art classes. What’s your all-time favourite band? How about all-time fave singer? Ozzy Osbourne; Freddie Mercury. What three songs do you want played at your funeral? Why those particular songs? "Like A Woman" by Alice Cooper, "Life Is Beautiful" by Sixx A.M., and "Angels on the Moon" by Thriving Ivory. I just like them and find them suiting. Do you think most mythological creatures exist? No. Have you ever had lice? No. What is one superstition that freaks you out? Why is that? I’m not superstitious. Are either of your parents retired yet and if not, what do they do? No. Dad is a mailman, and while Mom doesn't ~officially~ work yet because she's recovering from intense cancer treatment, she very recently resumed lightly cleaning a church for a small payment. Kinda like a warmup. When did you or do you want to move out of your parents’ house? I wanna move out once I'm in a long-term, stable relationship with someone so we can live together. Me living alone is NOT a good idea. How do you like your current job, or if you’re unemployed, have you been looking for employment? I don't have a job, but when I go to my tattoo appointment, I'm going to ask them if they'd be interested in hiring someone for the front desk. I think it's def something I could do because I love the environment, there's really not that much I need to know (like where the Doritos are, dealing with exact change, answering a dozen unique questions), it's not insanely busy, and the occasional phone call would challenge my anxiety and just be a minor inconvenience to me until I got used to it. My partial hospitalization program really got me wanting to fight back against what gives me anxiety, to truly expose myself to what scares me, while not going totally overboard with it. It was encouraging to hear my therapist there thought it was a magnificent idea for me. I decided I wanted to ask while at the parlor getting work done to show serious interest (like I'm not just some random chick walking in and asking for a job), as well as let the people warm up to me. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but damn am I wishing. I want it so badly. What kind of booze did you last take shots of? I've never taken shots.

[billiewena]

3, 12, 23, 24

OKAY I HAD TIME TO THINK ABOUT THESE (thanks you for making this ask game BTW!)

3. What's a scene that you think is underrated?

- 4x19: Adam's funeral and the comment about Sam becoming John (which he takes as a compliment when Dean clearly doesn't). This ep is probably the closest they get to discussing their Daddy issues tbh.

- 8x08: Sam & Cas in the cartoon world, where Sam gives the speech about not running away from problems anymore that motivates Cas to do the same (feel like it gets ignored over the Deancas scenes)

- 8x19 Dean meeting Naomi. THE most twisted villain, the amount of damage she did caused with "I admire your loyalty, I only wish he felt the same"

- 12x10 ending w/ Dean & Sam tell Castiel how much they appreciate him! I love the bickering in this ep but am such a hoe for them just TALKING OUT their issues.

12. Rank the eras and opinions on it (1-5/6-7/8-11/12-15)?

Before I go into it my season-by-season rank is 4, 5, 8, 1, 2, 3, 12 11, 13, 9, 15, 6, 7, 14, 10

1. 1-5: TIGHTLY written, every ep and conflict felt like they mattered and would pay off (and usually did), character and family dynamic development that always felt grounded/realistic. Cons are the misgoyny, racism and homophobia (def don't miss the only female characters being Innocent Mom, Evil Skank or Girl With Knife) but that's the 2000s baby

2. 12-S15: Love the overall tone and the show expanding to include more hunters, allies, universes, etc. Sadly these seasons would introduce the most INTERESTING and COMPELLING concepts...only to do little to nothing with them. Wayward Sisters, Empty, Banes twins, Witch!Sam, apocalypse hunters, death of the author, and (obvs) Dean/Cas. Even Jack! All his relationships were more tell than show, never fully developed on-screen. ESPECIALLY him and Cas! They have 2-3 whole scenes together in S13. Jack's born, but Cas is dead. Cas returns, but Jack leaves. They find Jack, but Cas was kidnapped and then Jack gets trapped. The show just kept following Dean and Sam from crisis to crisis with little room to breathe. The era is so cool in theory and a great playground for fanon, but...ugh.

3. 8-11: Some of THE dumbest writing decisions happen this era, usually to cause manpain or brother drama. But Carver did reign things in a bit with more overarching plots and storylines again, especially in S8 and S11. The trials! Rowena and Crowley! Re-introduction of Chuck! Purgatory! Cas and Claire! Jody and Donna! Sam's "God" visions! The Baby episode! Also nostalgic because this was when I finally got internet access and joined the fandom.

4. 6-7: Besides having a few of my fave eps (Death's Door, Man Who Would Be King, etc.) mostly unmemorable and all over the place. Like, you can TELL they didn't have any idea what to so once they ended the Kripke arc and threw anything and everything at the wall to see what stuck. Resurrected grandpa? Sure! Cas is evil now? Cool! Ancient monsters that can be killed by cleaning supplies? Why not? Wait, we need Dean and Sam drama...right, let's make up a childhood friend Sam has never mentioned for Dean to kill! And give Dean a Reneesmee monster daughter for Sam to kill! We're so good at writing!

23. What are some lores/world building that you love from Post s5?

- The morality of monsters and bad guys. We got redeemed vampires (Benny), witches (Rowena), demons (Crowley), werewolves (Garth), nephilims (Jack), etc. The MOWs are inconsistent but SO GOOD when they take this route. One of my faves is the Shapeshifter in 13x04 who becomes a Grief Counselor to use her abilities to help people

- Purgatory! Love the vibes, the every-man-for-himself energy, how harsh it feels

- The Trials! These crazy stakes! Prophets! Sealing the gates of hell! Angels falling!

- Apocalyse World! Again, the VIBES! Michael vs. Lucifer is supposed feel so world-ending. So to see a world DEVASTATED by their war? Insane! And Apocalypse!Michael was a cool villain, very strategic and focused, knowing what alliances to make and how to make the situation work in his favor

24. What are some lores/world building that you love from s1-5?

- The angels: so cool before they got nerf'd. Perfect soldiers, orders from above, varying levels of cynical, too powerful to be seen by eyes, SMITING! I miss the smiting.

- THE SEALS! I wish we saw more of them but the creativity! The stakes! And Lilith being the final seal remains one of THE best twists!

- The Trickster! I love Gabe as an archangel too, but do miss him messing with the Winchesters to teach 'em a lesson

- Special Children! All of these powerful lonely people who've been weird all their life, thrown into a hunger games where they either kill or survive! So crazy.

SPN Ask Game

[stardustexplorer102]

Okay real talk. I've just watched the latest Legacies episode and I am incredibly salty about Legacies 2*16. So this is going to be long!

Maybe it's because I'm an adult watching a teen show (lol yes) or maybe there really are ... Issues with quality.

First off: Josie + the mindscape

I'll start with the Penelope name drop because I legit groaned at my laptop hearing it. 1) never that invested in her anyway, found her the true cliche TV high school mean girl- at least Alyssa actually has some depth to her instabilities lol. 2) she's gone, and was never a key player to begin with 3) they constantly bait 'hosie' and it's tiring enough with that drama- don't name drop a random ex people don't care about (sorry if you do lol)

Now for the main bit:

Josie yet again being the VICTIM! Ughh even when the girl uses dark magic, kills a frenemy, kills her own TWIN, blows up half the school it was still focused on poor Josie not being treated right..... Seriously??????

I will admit her putting her siphoning ability away was somewhat... Kind of in a way taking responsibility- but I'm still leaning towards the whole still not taking responsibility and running from it, instead of actually owning her crap.

Also WHAT the hell was with the whole 'mom and dad never paid attention you'... Is Julie Pec just completely destroying characterisation?? No way EVER would Caroline Forbes EVER let any child let alone her own be forgotten. No way. Nada. Not happening. Not from the girl who was forgotten, the girl who was always the last choice and last to be noticed compared to Elena. It just wouldn't happen even with them helping Lizzie! And I don't think Ric, the guy who KNOWS what disfunctional sibling relationships and disfunctional parenting could lead to, would do the same

Perfect parents- no. But I refuse to believe they ever intentionally or unintentionally neglected Josie over Lizzie.

Parenting aside, I was very annoyed how they characterised her as being afraid of being like Kai.. how? They had zero similarities anyway! If anything LIZZIE is more like Kai and not just in disfunctional mental health way. I could completely understand Lizzie being the one to have that fear but again ... Characterisation just didn't fit.

The cringe 'non-consensual kiss' line. First of. Consent is ultimate. Obviously. But the way it was shoved in there was incredibly awkward. It could have worked a lot better if Hope said something sarcastic like 'I'm clearly little red, not prince charming- no thanks'.

The pig as Josie... Meh gets a pass for an evil fairytale mindscape

The Evil Queen Vs Princess... Yeah teen show still so I give that a pass.

Hope turned to stone. I get it's 'Legacies' and I do like that it isn't ALL revolving around Hope but again- characterisation just doesn't feel right and this plot just feels weak.

So, moving on: Salvatore School

I'm loving Ric actually being there for Rafael. That boy needs the support of a responsible adult so... Yay for that.

Although he does lose points for making that ridiculous deal with the necromancer. But again, teen show, had to drive the plot somehow so fair enough let's see where that heads. Personally I want Ted + Chad back.

At least Raf and Alyssa are fully back.

Also- Jed has feelings, pass it on.

Landon is an interesting one and depending on how they do this, will depend on how invested I will be in his character

Now the Ultimate:

Lizzie and MG

I have made no secret of my unconditional love for Lizzie! Just yes. Even in season one I was rooting for this girl. The funeral stuff was sad and cringy (teen show remember) but I did have a giggle at the students apathy based on the fact that Lizzie will probably be brought back from the dead. Just another average school day.

MG killed that speech. I love their friendship. I know Hope is now a friend but MG was truly the first to reach out to Lizzie and I want them to keep it as a friendship because I think both MG and Lizzie need a ride or die friendship... Although maybe not the 'die' in MGs case lol.

Lastly but not least (if you read this long ramble thank you and please discuss with me!)

Lizzies Eulogy for MG. It was beautiful and just nice but also so Lizzie. It really brought everything together nice.

So because of Covid-19 we don't actually know when new eps will be filmed or aired.

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 16X08

OH MY GOD!!! That was amazing! I cried. I screamed. I swore. It was SO good! The 350th episode of Grey’s Anatomy was incredible. There were so many call backs! I think they pretty much touch on every major storyline from the early seasons. On top of that Meredith and DeLuca finally broke up!!! I’m so happy.

Now onto the recap and review! Meredith finally has her day in court! She has to go before the medical commission about her license. The whole gang turns up for Meredith’s hearing. We find out that Richard just got back into town as he was away attending Sabi’s funeral. Neither Catherine nor Jackson went. That’s awkward. We learn that Teddy is sleep deprived because Allison isn’t sleeping and Owen isn’t pulling his weight as a parent. Link then gives Teddy his coffee because she needs it more than he does.

It’s nice to see them all getting along. Bailey then shows up and tries to pull so bureaucratic BS on the rest of the doctors and Richard is having none of it. Meanwhile back at the hospital the residents are holding down the fort while most of the attendings are away for the hearing. Koracick’s student from Hopkins is such a killjoy! I loved all the call backs to the crimes of seasons past! Also a big shout out to Meredith’s long suffering lawyer! This woman deserves a pay raise! She has her work cut out for her.

And as it turns out that’s not even the half of it because … THE SEXIST AGEIST ASSHOLE DOCTOR THAT KNOWINGLY KILLED DEREK SHEPHERD IS ON THE PANEL!!!! This raises so many questions. How is that man still practicing medicine?!?! How was he not fired? How has HE not lost his license when he knowingly killed a man in cold blood?!?!? To top it all off he’s late to the hearing which suggests that he’s still just as incompetent as he was when he knowingly overrode Penny and murdered Derek. WTF?!?!

His presence there becomes even more infuriating as it becomes clear that he doesn’t even remember murdering Derek or the way he treated Meredith. He doesn’t recognize her at all. The nerve of this creep. Poor Meredith. As if this day wasn’t already hard enough! They call Bailey to the stand and she is not happy about being questioned. She answers her questions robotically and acts like she barely knows Meredith at all. The flashbacks to past cases were great!

I get that Bailey’s pissed but her behaviour seems a bit overboard. Does she actually want Mer to lose her license? We find out that the U.S. Government sent Gabby’s Mom from a Detention Centre back to Honduras while Gabby and her Dad are still in the U.S. I hate this. I hate that this stuff is happening to real families. It’s heartbreaking. They call DeLuca to the stand. It does not go well.

I knew Mer being in another attending/resident relationship was going to bite her in the ass and here it is. I hate that Mer got publicly roasted when DeLuca was the one that threaten her when she tried to help after Alex beat him up. The prosecution makes it seem like Meredith came onto to DeLuca to fix things after Alex beat him up when in reality she wanted nothing to do with him and he came on to her. So stupid. I felt so bad for Schmitt. He tried to bring some levity to the proceedings and he tried to help with his testimony but wound up making it worse. I don't understand why Meredith and DeLuca are even still together at this point.

Man this trial is digging up all the dirt! Richard takes the stand and he lies to protect Mer when the prosecution brings up the Alzheimer’s trial. Then they bring in Richard’s assistant from the early seasons! They really pulled out all the stops for this episode! That must have taken a lot of planning. I wonder if the previous main cast members were supposed to be here too but the actors couldn’t make it because of scheduling. And the hits just keep on coming! From Richard’s assistant we find out that Meredith was never supposed to be at Seattle Grace Hospital in the first place.

She didn’t match there at all. When the match list came through and Meredith’s name wasn’t on it Richard put in a call to have Meredith brought to Seattle Grace. He always made it sound like she was on the list and he chose to accept her. The secrets are coming out! Then it gets really good. Alex is on the stand and the asshole doctor who killed Derek tries to pull more punches and starts asking extremely personal irrelevant questions about her kids. Alex says he doesn’t see how any of that is relevant and the asshole doctor tries to say that she’s irresponsible.

And that’s when Mer loses it. After sitting there and being quiet and keeping her mouth shut all day and doing as her lawyer told she’s had enough. This bastard took her husband and doesn’t even remember her. He doesn’t get to take her license or her career or talk about her children whose father he murdered. And that’s exactly what she tells him. Loudly. She makes an impassioned speech where she says the names of all of the spouses of the people that have died on her watch and calls him on the fact that he can’t do the same.

This bastard is a disgrace to medicine and he doesn’t get to sit there and judge her or say her children’s names! In response he continues to be an idiotic, incompetent, aggravating ass at which point Meredith has officially had enough and makes that perfectly clear. In response the asshole promptly kneels over and starts seizing. Karma’s a bitch!

In response Meredith helps assess and treat his injuries and as the paramedics arrive she yells at them to take him to Grey Sloan and get a Head CT. She makes sure that her husband’s killer gets the best possible care because that’s who she is. Outside the hotel Bailey and Richard have a heart to heart and Richard realizes that Bailey is jealous of the special treatment he gives Meredith. I didn’t see that coming.

At Meredith’s request Amelia accompanies the asshole doctor to Grey Sloan where Link and Teddy join her. She realizes that in addition to his seizures he also has a brain tumour so she asks Tom to operate and take it out. Poor Amelia. She’s come so far! Tumour Amelia would have performed the surgery and destroyed herself doing it. Post-Tumour Amelia recognizes that she can’t and gets Koracick to do it instead. That’s some real growth right there. Back at the hotel what remains of the panel decides to postpone the hearing but then Alex walks in and says they can’t do that because a massive group of Meredith’s former patient have come from all over to speak on her behalf. My heart! This groups includes the Paramedic Meredith saved when she was a resident! Katie freaking Bryce who we find out is now a Mom because Meredith and Derek and then Meredith and Amelia saved her!

Back at the hospital Amelia and Link are watching Koracick operate. I love Link! He’s the best! He’s so supportive and kind. And then just when you thought you couldn’t get anymore emotional a cover of ‘Where Does the Good Go?’ By Tegan and Sara starts playing. That’s Meredith and Derek’s song. It played on their first date. It’s also the song that played when Meredith and Cristina danced it out one last time. We cut back to the hotel to find Alex reading a beautiful and badass statement that Cristina sent from Switzerland to be read at Mer’s hearing! I’m crying! She is the sun!!!

We find out that Callie, Arizona, and April wrote letters and support statements too! And Addison Montgomery wrote one too!!! Wow I did not see that one coming! Alex is so smug. I love it. He knows he’s got them the bastards! Just then Bailey bursts in. She has something to say about Meredith. As the panelist says, “For God’s sakes who doesn’t?” Too funny! Bailey comes through for Mer and gives an impassioned speech about how she deserved to be punished but that she doesn’t deserve to lose her license because she’s too good of a doctor. She finished by saying that she is Dr. Miranda Bailey, Chief of Grey Sloan Memorial, “And I approve this message.” So funny! I love it.

Back at the hospital we find out that the asshole doctor died while having brain surgery! GOOD! That’s what he deserved. Suck it! It’s rather ironic considering he murdered Derek under similar circumstances. You reap what you sew you bastard! Amelia, Link, and Teddy arrive back at the hotel and tell everyone the news. Amelia is so happy that the asshole who killed Derek is dead! I love it!

Mer’s lawyer comes back in and we find out that due to the deluge of witnesses who came to Meredith’s defence and the fact that the Panel Chair murdered the defendant’s husband and didn’t even remember her two out of the three remaining panelists have decided to drop the matter completely which means that MEREDITH GETS TO KEEP HER LICENSE!!! YEAH!!!!

Afterwards Bailey and Meredith talk in the hallway. She offers Meredith her job back and she accepts! They hug it out! Meanwhile Maggie and Jackson are drinking back at Meredith’s house. LOL. And then Jackson tries to make a pass and they almost kiss and then Jackson stops himself so Maggie tells him to get out. Good idea. Back at the hospital Koracick’s student is a complete dickhead and pins Mer almost losing her licence on Schmitt who did nothing wrong.

All of the Schmitt’s friends and fellow residents turn on him, walk out, and refuse to speak to him because of this. God he is such an asshole! Schmitt was just trying to help. He honestly thought the hospital had made a mistake! Medicine like so much else in life is a team sport. People like Koracick’s asshole student aren’t doing themselves any favours by screwing other people over. Back at Mer’s place she arrives home to find Jackson leaving and Maggie upset. Jackson congratulates her on her win and leaves. Mer asks Maggie what’s wrong and she says that she hates him and never wants to see him again. Makes sense. There’s a knock at the door and Maggie leaves thinking it’s Jackson. It’s not it’s DeLuca.

He asks if they can talk and they go outside to talk on the front porch. After circling the issue for a season and a half Meredith and DeLuca finally talk about how Mer doesn’t see DeLuca as an equal because he’s not. She doesn’t respect him like she did Derek because he’s not worthy of her respect. DeLuca’s insecurities about not being on Mer’s level finally come to the surface and he realizes what has been obvious from the start. He’s not a part of her life or her family. Not really. He tries hard, but that’s not the same thing.

Like he says DeLuca’s her boyfriend but not her partner. And he never will be. He doesn’t fit in and he’s not on her level. Time won’t change that. As is referenced during the hearing Meredith was on Derek’s level from the time she was an Intern. DeLuca’s never been on Meredith’s level and he’s a fifth year resident. That’s always been the case. DeLuca’s an okay doctor. But he’s not great. He’s not brilliant. He’s not innovative. He’s just okay and that’s all he’ll ever be. Meredith deserves someone great. Someone is as amazing as she is. I’m so glad they finally broke up! I was so sick of this storyline. It was boring and nonsensical to watch from the beginning.

Until next time!