#in the bodies they have but it’s like- bro I just think you are so pretty I want to accent that natural beauty you have

[aakeysmash]

sukuna lets yuuji wear his jersey

a/n: this drabble contains angst that i didn’t want to spoil in the title (i’m so bad with titles y’all PLS bare with me okay)

college!sukuna masterlist

You know how football players usually give their jerseys to their girlfriends? College!Sukuna gives his to his little brother Yuuji.

You’re not big on sports, but Sukuna asked you to watch Yuuji a couple of times because he had “practice at the ass crack of dawn”. Seeing how ripped he is (you may or may not have walked in on him shaving his beard one time while he only had a towel wrapped around his waist) you already thought he did some kind of sport, but you never cared enough to ask him about it. It’s not until 6 months into your forced proximity that you come to know he’s actually really popular on campus.

It happens randomly. You just finished playing monopoly with Yuuji and you’re listening to your sweet little companion tell you he wants to help you cook this evening. You’re discussing what meal to cook when Sukuna comes home, late, as he did every day this week. He throws his gym bag near the living room door, gets his shoes off and grunts as a form of acknowledgment.

“You know, dogs usually bark more than you to say hi. Imagine being worse than an animal,” you say, not even looking at him, picking up the little plastic houses distributed on your table.

“Imagine never shutting the fuck up,” he answers, ruffling his still wet hair from a shower he must have taken not too long ago, not sparing you a glance either. You scowl, watching the water droplets fall on the freshly cleaned (by you) floor. Well, you have to admit he does look hot in his black hoodie. Black compliments his face tattoos really well, you think.

“Bro! Language!” His mini counterpart exclaims from in front of you, putting his hands on his hips, frowning. He looks like an old lady. A really cute and young old lady.

“Yeah, Sukuna, language,” you snort, flipping Sukuna off behind your back when Yuuji isn’t watching. The tattoed man, still standing by the door, narrows his eyes at you when you turn your back on him. Yuuji goes into his room to put the game away and leaves you two alone.

“You’re lucky I need the fucking money to live here or I would’ve fed your body to the really nice dogs who say hi by now,” your roommate says lowly, coming behind you and pushing you out of the way to lay on the couch. He pushes you harder than usual, so you stumble and bump your thigh on the table, muttering ouch and pouting. You’re pretty sure he didn’t control his strength like he usually does in your playful banters. You sit down to rub your sore spot, waiting for Yuuji to come back and start cooking with you, while he just puts his hood on his head and closes his eyes.

“Is this how you treat a lady?” You mumble, at which he scoffs, not even bothering to answer. As a natural conversation starter, you try to think of something to say. You think he looks like he could use a conversation, anyway. He’s been more distant this last week, but he always had his emo moments, so you didn’t think too much about it. Today his mood is darker than usual though, and for some reason, after six months of living together, that doesn’t sit well with you.

"How was tod-"

"Fine," He interrupts you. You're stunned by his roughness.

“Listen, tomorrow I was thinking of going-“

“Can you shut the fuck up?" He curtly barks, one of his eyebrows ticking.

You frown. "Hey, I was just-"

"I’m not joking. Shut up. Stop talking for one fucking day. God, you’re so fucking annoying,” he grits out, scrunching his eyes even more. At this, you close your mouth fast. Well, maybe he didn’t look like he wanted to have a conversation, at the end of the day.

After his outburst, the silence inside the living room is deafening.

You don’t want it to, but the tone he uses stings, even if you try not to let it get under your skin. You thought you two had become close enough to joke around this way, but you apparently guessed wrong. You just wanted to help, and he just shut you completely out. You just wanted to be a good… friend? Are you even friends?

Yuuji gets back and you stand up from the floor, going toward the kitchen. You wince when you put your weight on your leg.

You inhale deeply, reigning yourself in. “What do you think about… quesadillas?” You ask the little one calmly, and you see him beam.

“Yes, please! I want to learn how to make them good like you-“

“Kid, there’s a game tomorrow. Wanna come?” Sukuna interrupts you two. He’s still sitting on the couch with his eyes closed, but now he has his arms crossed too.

“Hell yeah!” Yuuji answers, jumping with his little fist in the air. Sukuna hums.

“Gotta tell coach. You still have the jersey from last time, yeah?” He asks, getting up from the couch and rolling his left shoulder. When it pops, he grimaces in pain a little.

“Of course I do,” the kid proudly says, looking up at his big brother with stars in his eyes. Standing next to each other they look like the ghost of the past and the ghost of the future from A Christmas Carol. Yuuji is dressed in bright yellow while if Sukuna had any more black on him he’d be a shadow. A chill runs up your spine. Spooky.

“Good,” Sukuna rasps out, solemnly getting the palm of his hand on his little brother’s head.

You start preparing the ingredients for dinner. “Are you eating with-“

“I’m going to sleep,” he interrupts you once again. He still hasn’t looked you in the eyes since he entered the apartment. You turn away, not wanting Yuuji to feel the shift in your mood by looking at your face.

“Goodnight, bro,” Yuuji says cheerfully. Your other roommate rushes inside his room, locking it from inside, and you and Yuuji are left standing in front of the stove in silence.

“Oh. Well,” you start talking again awkwardly, a fake chuckle coming through. “I guess that means he’s not eating with us,” you tell Yuuji, getting back to preparing the ingredients for your dinner, now for two.

“It’s a big game, you know,” Yuuji whisper shouts from next to you, overstuffing his quesadilla. “I already knew about it, but it feels nice when he asks me to go,” the kid continues, a small smile ever present on his lips. Your gaze softens.

“What sport and position are we talking about?” You ask him, handing him a piece of cheese to chew on while you finish preparing everything.

“He’s a quaftef bafck. He’f capftainf too,” Yuuji answers between bites. So he’s a football player. His strength makes sense now.

“You seem really proud of him, Yuuji,” you tell him sweetly, adoring the way he’s trying to get his point across by waving his hands in the air a lot.

He gulps down the cheese. “Yeah, big bro always lets me wear his jersey. He told me that if someone annoying has to be wearing it, then he might as well give it to me,” he smiles, big, while you inwardly cringe. Couldn’t be Sukuna if he didn’t say something that felt more like an insult than a compliment.

“Why is it an important game?” You ask, preparing one more quesadilla.

“Because he just became captain! It’s his first game as a captain!” The kid tells you, jumping a little on his chair and watching you, excited. Oh, is that why he looked like a bird just shat on him the whole week?

“Well, then you have to be his top supporter, don’t you think?”

The next morning, you wake up early to go grocery shopping. You wanted to ask Sukuna to come with you yesterday, but after the way he probably didn’t even notice he treated you, you really don’t feel like it. You get out of your bedroom door and are met with the sight of Yuuji already wearing his brother’s way too big jersey. You snap a pic when he’s still turned around. He looks so cute.

You go toward him, who is conveniently also toward the apartment exit. He hears your footsteps and looks at you expectantly.

“Can you help me tie the scarf?” He asks you, said scarf still in his hands. It's full of little drawings of tigers, which he told you are the mascots of the football team.

“Of course Yuuji. You look so good today, I bet your brother is really happy, mh?” You smile, getting at his eye level and wrapping the piece of cloth around his neck.

“I think he’s almost ready too!” He says, raising his eyebrows. Then, he assumes a confused expression. “Wait, aren’t you coming? I thought we were going together.”

You hesitate.

“I have to go grocery shopping today,” you answer, averting your gaze.

“Can’t it wait? It’s a really big game,” Yuuji pouts.

You hesitate again.

“I don’t think your brother wants me there, Yuuyuu,” you softly smile, trying to be nonchalant, finally securing the scarf and standing back up. You try not to look into the little boy’s eyes, because you’re sure you aren’t that good at masking your feelings.

“But he was-“

“Brat, are you ready?” Comes Sukuna’s voice from down the hall. You push Yuuji toward the approaching footsteps, mouthing Go! He’s talking to you! The child looks back at you like he wants to tell you something, but you ignore it. You hastily open the door to get out, managing to catch Sukuna’s gaze only a spare second before closing it behind your back. You stiffen. Then, you walk away.

Inside the apartment, Sukuna puts on a confused expression, matching his sibling’s one.

“Where did she go? Nevermind. We’re late, Yuuji. Run, or I’ll leave you here,” he hurries out, grabbing his house keys, hands sweating and feet carrying him to the stadium, while Yuuji tries to follow him.

When the Itadori brothers come back home, Yuuji screaming and Sukuna grinning like a madman for his team’s victory, you’re not there.

“Awh, I wanted to let her know you won,” says Yuuji pouting. In your place, there’s a sticky note on the fridge, which looks like it’s been there since this morning. In the haste of leaving, they both didn't notice it.

Go Tigers!!! P.S. for Sukuna: I left some quesadillas in the fridge. Good luck, captain.

Yuuji claps his hands, saying you must have made more yesterday after dinner when he was asleep, happy to be eating something good two days in a row. Meanwhile, Sukuna can’t take his eyes off the little piece of paper.

“Yo, do you know where she went to this morning?” He asks Yuuji, who is getting out a plate to microwave the food.

“She said she went grocery shopping. She said you didn’t want her at the game,” his little brother responds, lightly and not worried at all, like this is a reoccurring conversation.

“What?” Scoffs Sukuna, baffled, whipping his head toward his brother’s. When did he ever say something like that?

“Well, she said she thought you didn’t want her there,” specifies Yuuji, shrugging, getting two forks and two knives to put on the kitchen table. “I tried telling her you bought her a ticket too! But I don’t know, she seemed…” he stops, thinking about the correct words to say, now looking directly at his big brother’s eyes. “She seemed sad,” he finishes, muttering.

Right then, a tube of cream for bruises put near the coffee machine catches Sukuna’s eyes. He grits his teeth. He thinks back to yesterday, and to the way you rushed out this morning. To the way you obviously tried to ignore him when you locked his gaze. To the way your ticket never left his pocket, because he never properly asked you to come.

Suddenly, the words on the sticky note burn on his skin like a fresh tattoo.

Shit.

[solelifauna]

When you say the love interest might be worse, does that mean "being mean to reader" wise or "being possessive over the reader" wise?

ERMMM...both I'd say. The love interest for the Werewolf AU is Jon Kent. He's about the same age as the reader and older than Damian by one year (From the time-skip space mission that he went on that aged him). But bro, this boy is fucking nuts.

Yes, Kryptonians aren't werewolves in this universe, but Lois Lane is. And a strong one at that, coming from a military family and all that jazz. So Jon Lane Kent is literally one of the strongest beings on earth, being half-kryptonian and half-werewolf.

Now i know what youre thinking.

But wouldn't Jon also be outcasted from werewolf society/wouldn't the bats not like him cause he's a half-blood?

WRONG!!! Yes, Jon is a half-blooded werewolf, but the other half is Kryptonian, one of the strongest species in the universe. If anything, his breeding makes him a very respected figure and the Bats definitely find him worthy. He and Damian are still the best of friends.

Now Jon's relationship with (Y/n). Yikes. Funnily enough, it was (Y/n) who started crushing on Jon first. She'd see him around the manor often, and she'd watch as he interacted with the Waynes or messed around with Damian. From what she could see, he seemed nicer than her family, so maybe she could be friends with him right? Plus, he's super cute!

And of course, this doesn't end well. I mean, this is a dark au. First off, Superman doesn't quite see humans as equals. Werewolves, they have his respect, and all the other races too. Yes, Clark Kent's adoptive parents were humans, and yes he loved them, but they were weak. Fragile even. And he made sure to instill that teaching in Jon as well.

Did Jon love his grandparents? Absolutely, but that meant that Ma and Pa stayed confined to Smallville and their house. They were too weak, they needed to be protected.

Lois also helped push Werewolf culture onto him as well. Weaker werewolves and humans were subservient to the stronger, and if necessary, could be killed and eaten. Jon didn't quite get the eating part, finding it quite gross actually, until he had his first taste of flesh. And, yikes, the boy was hooked.

In his mind, humans were either things to be taken care of (like pets) or food.

What's even more scary is that he's sweet around his family and friends, but those he deems as lesser? Well, let's just hope you don't catch him in a bad mood or piss him off. Which is why when weak, pitiful, abandoned (Y/n) Wayne comes up to him, he's insulted.

Why on earth did you even think you were worthy of talking to him?

Yes, he's seen you watching them, lurking around the manor, keeping your distance. It was quite annoying actually, he could practically hear your heart leaping out of its chest every time you saw him. He knew your intentions, trying to make friends with him.

He just looked down at you, eyes pooling with something nobody could explain, whilst you smiled at him and made small talk. Or tried to make small talk.

"Damian, should I snap her neck? Or is your family still insistent on the old laws?" Jon says.

You freeze, eyes widening in fear. Ah...you've made a severe lapse in judgment.

So much for a new friend.

"You know what? How 'bout I just go?" You quip nervously before trying to run off.

It's too bad Damian grabs you by the back of your shirt, basically choking you in the process. You let out a strangled noise as your body loses balance and lurches backward. When Damian lets go, your having a mad coughing fit, trying to get as much air as you could into your lungs.

Damian only makes an annoyed sound while Jon watches, a sick type of glee in his eyes. "When the time comes friend, you may feast with us. Now (Y/n), apologize to Jon."

You do not even have to think twice about that. "I'm sorry-I'm sorry! I shouldn't have approached you, I'm sorry." And at this point, you're crying. (reader is 14 when this happens)

And god doesn't that make Jon smile. He wouldn't deny, that you were pretty (I mean, you do have half of Bruce Wayne's DNA). But as much as he'd consider coveting you, you weren't worth that honor, no, he'd much rather taste your sweet, sweet flesh. (He could practically smell it wafting off you).

But alas, he'd have to wait.

But of course, in normal yandere fashion, he goes from wanting to eat you to wanting to eat you. The obsession starts to change around (Y/n)'s 16th birthday party that the Waynes throw. It's customary that all children do some public ball or whatever, so this was yours. Jon and his family are there obviously, and you're there as well, looking as miserable and tired as usual (and still somehow being the most beautiful thing in the building). However, he sees you light up in a way he's never seen you do before when your (what he's guessing) friends show up. They're human. They're weak, like you.

Seeing you interact with them, hearing you talk normally(super-hearing, duh) without fear, watching the way you laughed...He realizes he wants. And he wants bad.

Looks like you've got a new problem now.

Anyways, this is all I got!! I don't want to spoil the story more than I already have, but yeah, say hello to "absolutely bonkers Jon Kent". Hope you enjoyed!!!

[mythalism]

im so sorry to be a mythal lover like my icon and url suggest but i genuinely think her relationship with solas in this game was one of its best writing moments and specifically their confrontation is the highlight of this game for me and i have to talk about it.

it is so fucked up and tragic and raw. it shows us a side of him we have never seen before. she is so brutal but also somehow kind. she is probably the most complex and nuanced character in the entire dragon age universe. what she did to him was inexcusable and she takes full accountability for it but she also does not apologize. its SO INTERESTING!!! ITS SO INTERESTING!!!!

WHEN HAVE WE EVER SEEN HIM LOOK LIKE THIS>??? HIS FACE??? HIS BODY LANGUAGE????? HE LOOKS TERRIFIED AND WRETCHED. WE HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM LOOK LIKE THIS EVER.

HE WHISPERS HER NAME, AVERTS HIS GAZE. HE CANT EVEN LOOK HER IN THE EYE. HIS NAME IS PRIDE??? HE IS THE DREAD WOLF AND HE IS THE MANIFESTATION OF PRIDE AND LOOK AT HOW HE LITERALLY CRUMBLES IN HER PRESENCE???? HOLY SHIT. THIS IS SO UNLIKE HIM

i love that she does not apologize. it would have been out of character. she isnt sorry and she never was, but she at least takes accountability for what she did to him and the effect it had. she does not offer meaningless platitudes of sorrow. why would she??? she just plainly states the truth.

I RELEASE YOU FROM MY SERVICE. I RELEASE YOU FROM MY SERVICE. HE STILL CANT LOOK HER IN THE EYE. HE IS SOOOO SUBMISSIVE HERE WHAT THE FUCK. honestly i need to make a comparison between their body language here and his body language with lavellan in trespasser but that'll have to be for another time. but i am so obsessed with this line being what she says of all the things she could have said. again no apologies. just catharsis. and she talks to him like a loyal dog, someone under her command, a subordinate, not a lover. did she always see him that way? where did those lines blur? this would have been a good moment for an "ar sala mala revas" but this line is so brilliant on its own i cant complain.

AND THEN YOU HAVE THIS NEXT. THE WAY THEY ARE THE INVERSE. mythal stands over him and looks down upon him, while lavellan literally GETS ON HER KNEES TO SEE HIS FACE. TO LOOK HIM IN THE EYE. BRO THIS IS SO SICKENING. once again it mimics the way they kneel in trespasser, the way they kneel when he removes her vallaslin. and even though he's not kneeling he is bent over in agony and she is quite literally meeting him where he is at ohhhh myg od

and then when it is finally his time to address her directly he looks her right in the eye, his face is calm and not wretched like before when he looked upon mythal, im literally so sick over this look like how long has it been since they stood face to face like this, 8 years????? i havent even gotten into the way his face is bloodied and bruised like this is so vulnerable im literally dying i dont even remember what my point was with writing this i just needed to scream about it. i think mythal's presence here gives so much context to solavellan's dynamic. seeing how he is with mythal versus with lavellan back to back, how mythal speaks down to him while lavellan literally looks up to him. also something something about how lavellan offers him forgiveness while mythal offers him freedom. maybe i can make these thoughts more coherent in like a week from now but right now im running on 3 hours of sleep and pure dopamine. this scene is so fucking crazy i love it.

[i90o3]

How do u think the rest of the homicipher guys would react after that one scarletella ending where u make him ur servant LMAO

Dyt crawly would be especially bothered by it 😭

Scarletta ending.

context: Homicipher boys reactions to the mr scarletta ending where he’s basically your servant.

Homicipher. mr crawling, mr chopped, mr silvair, mr gap, mr hood. | Anypov. Fluff.

Uhh didn’t do this ending yet so i’m slightly unsure about these? they are super short, but I didn’t wanna keep you waiting. (can you tell mr crawling is my fav)

mr crawling.

lowkey..weirded out, kind of upset, off put, maybe a little jealous. Because why do you need that freak to bend to your will when you have HIM!!

They beef hardcore. If you remember there’s a route where Mr. Crawling saves you from Scarletta, and he’s covering your eyes and yelling at Scarletta. (also that fanart of mr crawling flipping off scarletta lolol)

Like babe what do you mean the guy who tried to kill you is now your pet?? pookie wdym … literally doesn’t trust him at all.

Clings to you and he doesn’t like when Mr Scarletta gets too close. He’s salty as shit like hoe back UP!!!! But honestly as long as you give him extra attention and special treatment he’ll be ight..

mr chopped.

get. him. away. from that thing. NEOW!! literally whines and pouts and yells, if he had a body he would be kicking and hitting his hands and feet, full blown tantrum. He’s literally like so shocked like wdym?? he’s here?? with you?? nuh uh.

your not allowed to let Mr. Scarletta touch him or else he’ll literally die. (his words not mine..)

Glares as him whenever he sees you with him..

mr silvair.

I think he’s pretty chill. A little shocked at first..but chill. Maybe he just keeps his distance a little bit, but I don’t think he’d make a big ordeal.

First time he sees Mr. Scarletta with you he just stares for a minute. Like this is normal now? If you say so.

I think he’d want to experiment on him kinda sorta maybe. I don’t think he’d actually attempt it though, or maybe he’d ask. But I really just think he’d be chill about it. Nonchalant vibes yk (/hj)

mr gap.

first of all, FUCK mr gap I have PERSONAL beef with bro. Secondly he probably actively avoids you. He sees you with Mr. Scarletta, he’s never seeing you again. buh-bye!!

he was nice enough to save you from him and now you wanna ASSOCIATE with him?? just ungrateful.

mr hood.

I’m ngl I think he’s also chill/indifferent like me silvair ..maybe a little more chill and indifferent.

He just leaves you be for the most part? unless you need him he’s there for you but he just keeps to himself. Maybe he’ll wander and keep an eye on you just in case..

I don’t think he trusts you with Scarletta, but like I don’t think there’s really anything he does about it. Other than checking up on you and watching you from afar.

1:18 pm. 11/03/2024. @i90o3

[interstellar-productions]

Thinking so many thoughts honestly, about Aaron currently (spiritually not situationally I relate to him, it’s complicated). Aaron so specifically speaks to me because of how (at least with the crumbs we’re fed by canon) he internalizes and deals with his trauma. He WANTS to be normal. In fact he tries so hard to be normal (as society interprets normality) that he actively distances himself and represses any part of him that may lead people to viewing him as anything other then normal.

In my mind this was probably done intentionally, it creates a contrast between him and Andrew (and is probably why Neil is able to tell the twins apart pretty much from the get go). Andrew doesn’t speak about his trauma but he also doesn’t necessarily minimize it. Andrew makes himself big, body language wise he’s very loud. “Look at me, at what they did to me. Look at who I became”. Andrew is a warning sign, he lets his bleeding wounds show and mixes them with ragged bone and snarling teeth. Andrew is telling people without telling people what will happen if someone crosses him.

In contrast Aaron hides, his pain and his scares. Aaron turns everything inwards, shoving it all into closets and under beds. If he blends in then maybe no one will notice him enough to pick him out. Hiding in plane sight. Aaron works so hard to be normal and is canonically known as the least interesting and most normal fox, despite having a murder charge and being a recovered addict. He is the normal fox. People overlook him, glance right over him, his teammates, peers, everyone. Perfect grades, good at his sports, girl next door girlfriend. Aaron is so painfully NORMAL.

It speaks so deeply because it’s so obvious to me that its a coping mechanism and not actually because that’s how he really is. If he was just painfully normal we wouldn’t get some of his more violent or assholeish out burst and he probably wouldn’t have that grudge against Bee. His grudge against Bee is actually what sparked this whole thing for me. He hates Bee, he says that he’s never actually spoken a word to her and even when he starts sessions with Andrew he’s really just speaking to Andrew while Bee is in the room rather then directly speaking to Bee. My little psych major mind (mixed with my personal feelings but HUSH) is just screaming that this whole “I’m normal look right through me please I’m normal”. It’s how he COPES. This guy grew up at least a little bit inside a church (because Luther) and had to hide both bruises and addiction and whatever else was going on inside that house. Statistically speaking there’s two major ways you internalize trauma like that. And I love Aaron and Andrew because their those two ways basically. Aaron is trying so hard to be so Normal that he becomes basically invisible. Blending into the background.

He probably has everyone convinced that he’s got it all in the bag, all his shit? It’s in a sock, don’t even worry about it. He’s got the grades, the girlfriend and he plays a sport. Bro is literally sitting pretty to be so uninteresting that he gets nothing but a cursory glance, and it’s totally part of his scheme. No one’s going to think to ask questions he doesn’t want them too. Not about his past and not about what’s going on in his life. “Oh that’s Aaron yeah I’ve got advanced chem with him, yeah good guy. I think he plays exy.” Aaron doesn’t want people to ask questions, because he knows he’s towing the line. Does he have it all together? Or is he desperately trying to keep all his shit in the boxes he’s stuffed it in? Who knows. Aaron probably doesn’t even know.

Aaron gives me “fake it til you make it” vibes that it actually hurts my soul. This man wants to be normal so bad that he’s doing everything he can to not have to address what’s actually wrong, because acknowledging something’s wrong means acknowledging that he is in fact NOT normal. And he wants to be normal because being normal is how you survive. (How he got Tilda to not beat him for dragging the wrong sort of attention to her)

My psych major mind is absolutely consumed by AFTG because to me they represent all the different ways that trauma can manifest in people. Basically all of the foxes (even and Renee Wymack) are the violent kind. Their teeth and warning signs, don’t get too close, don’t step on my toes. But they all show it so differently. Renee for example is the healed sort of violent, she’s faced the majority of her demons and won, she knows she’ll be able to handle you if you step out of line (see her ruining the nest). Nicky is the loud kind. He’s not the break bone sort of violent but he is the make you uncomfortable kind. So much of Nicky’s early character (Foxhole court) is him giving off borderline predatory vibes. His jokes, his mannerisms, the whole Edens trip. It’s his version of violent. He makes you uncomfortable so he knows whose safe and who isn’t.

Then you have aaron and his whole character is a ticking time bomb. Aaron isn’t normal because he’s healed, he’s normal because its the only way he knows to survive. That’s why he doesn’t like Bee. Bee is a psychologist, her whole job is to know their problems and fix them and the fact he even has to go sit in a room with her is a threat to his overall performance of normality. Because normal people don’t NEED therapy.

Screams into the void, I’m so normal about him.

Also all of this is just my personal little ramblings about a purely fictional character that reminds me of myself as it relates to the topic of interest I’m currently studying. If you don’t agree with me that’s totally fine, if you have different preconceptions about him thats totally ok too. This is just my little brain rot corner of the internet and I’m just trying to have fun.

To the 3 people that wanted to see my deranged psych rambles i hope this reaches you, this is all for you!

[xesiarah]

𓏵 Sickly Affection

Yan!Mafia Boss x Reader

Side notes: started ts when I was taking a shit + I wrote this to cure my wattpad loving younger self leave me alone teehee

Summary: You got sick and your hot obsessive macho bomshakalaka mafia boss husband decided to make it everyone's problem 😈

—

—

You've never thought you'd be paying for your sins this early.

It's as if every single opp you've had in life is suddenly granted a free reign to beat the shit out of you.

You're currently bedridden, at this point, basically anticipating death to arrive, to take you out of your misery and drag you to the depths of hell where you'd honestly feel way better in.

Well, would you look at that. Your husband enters the room with a commanding presence, almost making the sickness dissipate from your body. Almost. He gracefully kneels to check your temperature with his hand. His gaze carries a blend of innocent concern you'd think he didn't slaughter individuals for a living. "Are you absolutely certain you're feeling alright? If you need anything else-" you cut him off, looking at him dead in the eyes, literally and figuratively. "I need ibuprofen and a will to fucking live."

Actually, you were never one to fall ill easily; in fact, you're 100% positive you're as healthy as a horse. But on rare occasions, the severity would escalate to the extent that you would be confined to bed for over a week, or even worse, to the point of hospitalization.

Nothing truly scares you; it's just that ever since you started dating Damon, everything began to feel like your mom's most delicate china dishes, one wrong move and this dude's patience will snap just like that. And he's never one to fuck around with. — Especially when it comes to the one he treasures the most.

So, when you did fall sick, Damon is in need of someone to take his anger out on, and naturally, he targets his own men.

Those incompetent little shits. He has always made sure to have his men watch over you, whether it be in public or when you desire a sense of privacy. He ensures they stay out of your sight. A week ago, he granted you permission to go out, under the condition that you were accompanied by at least three proficient bodyguards, strong buff men somehow turned into your little ladies-in-waiting. — Later on, when he found out that the cause of your illness was just fuckass rain, he was furious. And all because the 3 dimwits in charge failed to bring an umbrella, like, has not one of them thought about waltzing into the nearest store to buy one!? Stupid buttfucks. Seriously, you'd assume that with the amount of money he pays them, they would come together hand in hand.. and with the power of friendship! Manifest an umbrella in order to shield you from the rain.

At present, the three men who looked after you are trapped in the confines of his office. The tension is so thick, it's like leather or rope, which Damon himself could use to strangle these wastes of air. "Why do you fuckers think I hired you?" He's menacingly seated at his desk positioned in the center of the spacious room. The men were paralyzed by fear, just like your forgotten cup of soda left in the freezer - completely frozen. "Answer me," he calmly stated, and by "calmly" I mean he's pointing a gun at them and didn't shoot immediately. That's quite peaceful, don't you think?

"Or none of you will survive out here," he added, his tone dripping with hostility. As if he even had the intention of letting that happen in the first place. The moment your temperature spiked was the precise moment these three idiots were declared deceased. "N-none of us thought it was gonna rain-" The taller of the three spoke, making the unfortunate decision to try to reason with the devil's incarnate, — lil bro didn't even have time to regret it because his brains were blown out almost immediately. "You think being prepared isn't part of the job!?" Damon could feel himself age ten fucking years. How stupid can you be!?

"Leave." He gestures with his hand. With a heavy heart, both survivors were relieved to finally leave. But, they weren't able to even take a few more steps out the door when two gunshots struck them in the head. Their dead bodies fall to the floor in a loud thud. "Assholes." He muttered, messaging his temples and turning to his second-in-command, holding the gun. "You have been so kind in granting them a lengthy existence, boss," he remarked with a smile. Without even sparing the dude a glance, Damon mumbled, "I need y/n."

Of course, he does. You're literally the only one who could reduce this life-threatening man into a lovesick puppy.

[milkiedimitrescu]

Sooo i made a kinda creepy thing

(so I might've accidentally made a whole introductory to a whole new fic idea) GUYS I KNOW I HAD AN AU ART I STILL NEEDED TO MAKE HOLD ON LET ME COOK

ok

So like

yeah just press the "keep reading" and see for yourself bro

You are aimlessly are wandering around the corridors of the Dungeon of Castle Dimitrescu, Previously you had come to visit after it had seemingly became abandoned after its inhabitants died, and there was nothing left.

This was shortly after the big explosion that destroyed every aspect of the village. (You know why, fellow reader. :)) You were exploring room from room, and Hall by Hall, gathering information on what might've happened to the past owners of this Castle.

And that's when you discover the current place your in. The dungeon corridors deep underground. You have heard this is where the Lady Dimitrescu chased Ethan winters, and supposedly he had escaped. Gathering enough information, you have come to the conclusion, Ethan had killed the Dimitrescu family for his daughter, How protective of him. You mused. But you needed more answers, on your mission.

You continue exploring, taking in the environment. It was decaying and there were some walls that were destroyed, seemingly. You found where the dagger that killed Lady Dimitrescu just outside the castle before you got there and kept it safely in your item carrier.

Until, suddenly, you hear a woman, whisper in your ear. She sounded like she would have a deep, rich, velvety, sultry, voice. Soft, yet a bit commanding.

"I'm still here. Turn around." She whispered, in your left ear.

But it shook you to the core. You flinched at the sudden voice. And you quickly turned around to see the source of the noise and only found that nothing was there. You were alone. Well, you were supposed to be alone, but now you feel paranoid, on the edge that someone or something else is down here with you. It's quite dark in this dungeon so you reached into your item carrier that you carried around like a backpack, and grabbed a candle holder you collected from Lady Dimitrescu's private chambers. You inhaled, and exhaled and grabbed your lighter, lit it up, and lit each candle on the candle holder, before safely putting the lighter back in the bag.

It's way too quiet down here. You feel like you are being watched, like a predator, spying on their prey. You thought in the corner of your eye, you saw a long tall shadow staring at you from the distance before quickly disappearing but you quickly dismissed it as something your mind was making up, due to the fact you were alone in empty halls. Until,

"I'm behind you."

The voice again! You stopped dead in your tracks, heart pounding profusely. You were practically frozen in utter terror. You think you are being haunted by a spirit, from the castle. Your scared to turn aroun-

"Turn. Around." The voice of this... Woman, was captivating, much more commanding than last time. She seemed to really want you to see her.... You shakily breathed in and out, and did it. Finally, with courage, and bravery to face whoever else was down you in the dungeon,

...

...

Who the living hell is that...? You thought out loud quietly, to yourself. There was a tall, shadow figure. Standing before you in a softly candle lit hallway where seemed to be a lever. Her eyes... So piercing into your soul. They were glowing red and seemed almost dead. She tilted her head at you, endeared by your paranoia. Her aura, she had shadowy particles coming from each part of her body. It looked like she was wearing a dress and a hat. Could this be..?

"Fear not, child. I won't hurt you."

She took a step forward towards you. Her shadowy aura trailing behind her.

"This is only a dream, I'm afraid. But, in real-time. I want you to come to Castle Dimitrescu. Find a way to bring me and my family back to life. We oh, so crave it dear. That man..." She scoffed looking to the side, gazing to that single barrel that was leaning on the side of the wall just somewhere near her, seemingly deep in thought. "That man killed my daughters... For the sake of his own daughter. Then... Killed me." She looked back at you.

"Find my crystal, and my daughters ones aswell. We need to be brought back in order to live in peace again. The castle, is now the only place we haunt, yet an echo, of are unfortunate fates."

She took another few steps closer to you till you were now both in front of each other. Couching down, she whispered, Her red eyes glowing in hope,

"I believe you are the chosen one, dear. To free us, from this misery. You hold more power than you believe,"

"Wake up." She whispered harshly. Her shadowy aura consuming you whole, leaving you in nothing but a void and a pair of red orbs staring back at you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gasping, you sat up from your hotel bed breathing fast, and checked the time on your watch, and saw it was 9 AM. Just the time you were going to get ready to leave to go to the village, to find out more about what happened in there. But... You already knew... That dream you had, everything was clear to you. It felt real, like Lady Dimitrescu actually spoke to you, telling you about bringing her and her family back.

But you heard of the atrocities she committed... you heard of the terror she had caused when she was alive, and still living in that Castle along with her daughters.

Loudly Sighing, you leaned back to lay back down,

"What the hell, man."

[quitealotofsodapop]

I've sent a similar ask before, but in peachsoup I want to see everyone's reaction to Sun Wukong being named Peaches.

Nehza: *face palms.* No memories and he is still subconsciously pining.

Erlang: *on the floor laughing* It takes a special kind of simping to do it with no memory.

Macaque: *crisis because even with no memory, Wukong chose his nickname for him as a name, but also he's supposed to be angry about dying but peaches-*

Prev.

Dont worry about resending. My inbox is stuffed to the gills and I get lost in it. Also indenting doesnt seem to work right when im on mobile.

I ended up making a bit of character dialogue based on this ask between Peaches and his school-friend "Nez"

Nez: "So how did you get the name Peaches?" Peaches: "Oh! When Dadsy- uh dad found me and MK, he called me it because peaches were pretty much the only thing I ate." Nez, agreeing hum: "Make sense." Peaches: "Then when we were adopted, we needed new legal names - so Zhu Taozi it was!" Nez: "So... you never considered having another name? I mean, the legal folk definitely gave you time to think about it. Why did Peaches resonate with you?" Peaches, twirling hair in thought: "This is gonna sound weird... but I felt like it's always been my name." Nez: "Really?" Peaches: "I know! It sounds so weird! But when I heard it for the first time, it just sounded so natural. Like someone I care about a long time ago called me it? Nez, intrigued: "Oh... so you think it was a nickname from a sibling or a parent or...?" Peaches, confidently: "I think it was someone I was in love with." Nez, memory thread unlocked?: "OH. Oh um... how can you tell?" Peaches, blush creeping: "I don't know! When I sit and meditate on stuff like this, I can just imagine someone just so beautiful with this deep voice chuckling my name like it was meant for me." (*hugs his own body lovingly*) Nez, honesty touched: "Aww..." Peaches, little embarrassed: "I'm sorry. Thats sappy." Nez: "Nah, it's really cute. Who knows? Maybe it's a sign from Yue Lao about who your soulmate it. He sometimes uses dreams to push fated lovers towards one another." Peaches, tail swishing with excitement: "Oh my gods, you're right! It could be a premonition! I wonder if my fated one is as beautiful as I see them! Nezha, internally: "He can't remember over 2000 years of life, but he can remember what his mate used to call him. It would be funny if it wasn't so bittersweet."

Once Macaque gets back, it's hard to see where his face mask begins and end. Learning that even with his memories gone Wukong chose to be called "Peaches", sends the shadow monkey into a conflicted mess. He's mad about getting KO'd obvs, but "Peaches" is both a tragic example of what if Wukong had died (Peaches is almost his own monkey after all), and a revelation that Wukong never truly forgot his mate.

Erlang is laughing his ass off as all of this goes down. His third eye was just spitting patch updates to him one day and BAM; Wukong's mate is back, and just learned that his amnesiac mate remembered and valued his pet name enough to make it his new name. It's way too funny to keep quiet about. He tells all his sworn bros about it.

When Peaches' family realises that "Peaches" was the pet name his big bro's crush called him back when they were a couple... they think its really cute. But the bad boy still isn't coming over for dinner.

[trials-of-a-spirit-worker]

All of that. Hell, I'd argue Zuko's actions or lack there of helped heal her even if the plot didn't acknowledge it.

Katara has always been that character everyone has a skewed view of. Sokka can't even remember his mother's face without seeing her, Ang LITERALLY got called out for using his "love" of her as a replacement of the love of his people lost (Aang stans, the guru literally says this, do not throw your temper tantrum here). Zuko and arguably Toph are the only ones who don't have a skewed view of her. (I say arguably because Toph sees her as a wannabe mom figure and kind of teeters on a sister type bond if Bryke appreciated women and their characters and platonic relationships, I'm sure we'd see a very girl power platonic love between Suki, Katara and Toph. But their arguments are pushed towards prissy bossy girly girl and tomboy shit).

So for her to step out of "line" or "her character" is jarring for those who put her in a box. When no, like said above; that's a rightfully enraged child.

Imagine being small and helpless and possibly seeing your mother's body. Imagine being small and helpless and you rushing to go find someone who could help and being too late. Imagine having to pick up where your murdered mother left off without so much of a word. Imagine after all that your Dad up and leaves after her death (I know he had a good reason to, but shut up, it still hurt her). All of that is placed on A CHILD.

Zuko's non verbal "I'll support you no matter what" is what saves her. She comes to her own conclusion, her own feelings, her own validation. Anything Zuko asks of her in the southern raiders is "are you ready?" Not, "you ready for revenge?" Or "time to avenge your mother" Just... "You got this bro?"

Which along with him being the only one to defend her against the allegations her supposed future loving husband throws on her even comparing her to a fucking terrorist because his forever girl shouldn't be so angry, Zuko argues she's in need of closure.

I'd argue in the case between Sokka and Katara, Katara lost more when it came to their mother and dealt with so much more after her death.

Both of them lost a mother, yes, but for Sokka that seems to be where it ends. Sure he's hurt. I'm sure he loved her. But Kya didn't DIE for HIM. She died for Katara and she knows it. Katara has a classic case of survivor's guilt and the guilt of helplessness which is why she tries to help everyone in need. She wants to validate the life Kya gave by saving others from pain. And had the writers had more freedoms than the misogynistic, whiny bitch shackles Bryke had them in, I bet you they'd explore that pain further.

Zuko wasn't a bystander in Katara's journey. He was a presence of backup, only chiming in when he felt it was needed, but still keeping the control to her. His small actions of telling that captain to look at her face when they thought they had Yon Ra and then him looking at Yon Ra when they found him and demanding his silence "this never happened" are validation even if it's not obvious. He stands by her throughout the entire thing. And honestly, I think that's why she forgave him.

He's the one who understands her the most. He's the one who sees her for her. There's no box for her in his mind. She's just Katara and that view came with knowing what she needed and how to help her.

I've found it bullshit they added a whole forced "you're right" to Aangs bullshit to put the little fucker on a higher ground because he's brykes uwu baby self insert. No.

Zuko was right and more importantly, Katara was right for her actions and her need for closure. Point blank.

No, Zuko did not lead Katara down a "Dark Path" in The Southern Raiders

Watching Southern Raiders again, and it's bizarre to me that people read that episode as, "Zuko leading Katara down a dark path." Zuko just wants her forgiveness. He fucked up with her severely and to a level that's different from the others. She feels betrayed by him--she was betrayed by him. She trusted him and he all but spat that back in her face so yeah, she's mad. Is it selfish using her desire for justice, closure, maybe revenge to get her to stop being mad at him? Idk perhaps, if you read it that way.

But the way I read it, I read it as him using his resources to give her what she wants most, and that's her mother's killer. Since he was the face of the enemy, since he lost her trust, let him earn that trust back by taking her to the real face of her enemy.

It's the literal least he can do.

Then he steps back. Zuko let's Katara lead the mission, let's her defend herself against Aang and sadly Sokka too while only playing support. Zuko got a comment in there or two, but for the most part it's Katara doing all the talking.

Also something important people forget is that, neither Katara nor Zuko brought up revenge, that was all Aang accusing them(meant to type her, but saying them fits more) of seeking revenge. Maybe that was her unconscious motivation, but Aang was the one who brought it to the forefront of their minds. Zuko states that this is about Justice and closure, Aang was the one who made this about revenge.

After all that back and forth is said and done, Zuko is largely quiet the rest of the episode save for like 3 lines, none of them involving him telling Katara what to do or what she should do.

Katara leads the mission, Katara makes the choice to bloodbend even when Zuko was already facing the SR general on the boat. He didn't tell her to do that, he wasn't in a pinch so she would've needed to do that, hell she didn't even have to do any of that at all considering there was still water on the ground.

These were all Katara's decisions, all Zuko did was stand by her side.

This isn't me trying to say that Katara's making bad decisions. Far from it actually, I heavily agree with Katara's decisions. This isn't even a "supporting woman's wrongs" scenario either. Katara's completely in the right in my mind.

This is a mission involving finding the man who killed her mother. Not kidnapped like Appa (comparison courtesy of Aang), not whatever the hell the comics are doing with Ursa, murdered. Kya is never coming back and it's because of Yon Ra. Little Katara had to see her mother's dead body after the act was done and has to live with the pain and guilt of it all knowing Kya died to protect her. She's traumatized, she's hurt, so she's very much justified in wanting revenge and it's disquieting how so many people make this about Zuko leading her down some dark path for saying "I want to find the man who killed my mother and took her away from me." Bryke included.

Again, Zuko stands back, adds support in the fight when needed, but ultimately is there as her backup and sources.

And yet, people see all of this as Zuko leading her down a dark path. Because he dared to stand back and not talk Katara down from wanting to merc the man who took her mother away from her. What a villain, she said sarcastically.

Realistically, why would he stop her?

If anything, the fact that Zuko was the only one in her corner for this says a lot because of everyone there, he gets it. Sokka should've gotten it too, but that's a separate point for separate post.

He too lost his mother to the Fire Nation. Whether she's dead or missing, the Fire Nation and, namely his Father to put a face to it, took his mother away from him. He lost her and he believed that she was never coming back. Katara and Zuko are the same in that regard. Something he verbally empathizes with her in the Crossroads of Destiny episode.

He knows she needs this because he's been there, is there, and very much wants to have done that. If facing the Fire Lord wasnt Aang's destiny (and this wasn't a kids show, along with other in meta perspective) it doesn't feel to far to say Zuko probably would've killed Ozai.

Revenge for his mother is a side goal, but it's out of reach as of this moment. He has no information on what happened to her or where she is, so he can't do a thing. He sees Katara, someone who badly wants to regain trust with, with a similar goal and mindset and he actually has the means of helping her. Of course he takes it, but this is her mission, not his. He just provides the information and helps her getting there. That's all, everything after the fact comes down to Katara's choices.

When the moment of revenge happens and Katara decides to not kill him, does Zuko say anything? Does he asks her "what are you doing? He's right there, get revenge!" No. He doesn't say anything. He lets her leave, stares down Yon Ra for a second and follows after her in silence. You cant apply headcannon like "maybe he tried to convince her after the fact," because that can easily be countered with the head canon of him comforting her telling her she did the right thing. Going soley off what we saw in canon, on screen, Zuko watches Katara spare him from skewering the man with ice.

He does have a shocked expression in the background but that can either be read as "wow she didn't do it," or "holy shit she probably could've killed me 10 times over." Again, nothing verbal from him, only expressions, so it's hard to say firmly what he's thinking.

I got away from my main point for a second, but I'm coming back to it to say, none of this is Zuko's doing. Zuko didn't lead Katara down any path, he didn't encourage her to enact a bloody revenge, what Katara does was all her own actions, all he did was point in the right direction. Kinda shit how by making it seem like Zuko's manipulating her, it takes away from Katara's agency in the situation. She made her decisions and no man influenced her.

The only who actively tried to was her brother and Aang into forgiving their mother's murderer for some insane reason that I still can't fathom. Maybe from doing something she'd regret, possibly, but the in canon reason we get is, "don't do it. It's a dark path, you should forgive him for your own sake. Insert the Appa comparison" I bring that up again, because Appa was kidnapped, and then found again and they were all reunited. Yet Aang compared that to Kya being murdered and left for her daughter and husband to find. There's a stark difference.

Aang's pain in that regard is understandable and dare I say more supported by the fandom and show, while Katara is pratically being told by everyone save for Zuko to sit down and forgive for some inane reason that rings hollow, feels insensitive at the absolute best and takes away her agency by turning it all on Zuko as him making her choices for her.

It's shit, and an absolute misread of what the episode showed us, something Bryke somehow missed too.

I'm gonna conclude this with a quick summary of the end of the episode. Katara doesn't forgive Yon Ra, yet spares his life because he's just pathetic. Aang's weirdly giddy telling her that he's glad she forgave Yon Ra, and Katara having to shut that shit down and tell him that no, she didn't forgive her mother's killer, she never will, and she's conflicted on letting him live. Then Katara gets a soft look and smile for the first time in a good long while in the episode as she tells Zuko that she does forgive him. We get a Zutara hug (iconic) and the episode ends on a happy-ish, bittersweet note for her. Zuko does tell Aang that he's right and violence isn't what she needed (an admittedly weird line considering seconds before she just said she doesn't know if she was too weak to kill him or too strong too, implying she probably would've gone through with killing him, but whatever) but that's when Katara is out of earshot.

Zuko didn't lead her down any dark path, he left himself be lead by her and was willing to let it happen. It being whatever Katara's decision was going to be. Good, bad, middle, whatever would have happened would have all been Katara's decision and her agency shouldn't be ignored because of a bad-take misread of a pretty clear cut episode with very little ambiguity.

[makedonsgriva]

anyway I had a thought today where crown prince xie lian is younger than everyone else.

He is probably 6-7 when he gets mu qing and feng xin (who are 16-17) and they coddle him a lot. Basically XL is their baby brother and baby prince wants to be as strong as his older brothers because they are both so cool!!!

baby lian meets hong-er on the streets one day and please gege can’t we keep him??? I don’t have friends!! You two don’t count cause you’re not my age. Please just please!!!!

So that’s how the trio becomes a quartet and feng xin and mu qing are not only the body guards of the prince but also baby sitters of two very unruly kids who are never up to any good

(They are not getting paid enough to deal with them) (it’s a damn good thing they love the fuck outta those kids)

anyways XL starts his training and ofc Honger tags along. they grow up training together, challenging each other, competing but falling in love at the same time and yeah celibacy is easy for XL except every time he sees HC his thoughts go haywire

When XL ascends, he has three generals by his side.

When he falls, he has two because honger died in the war

And XL truly thinks he is to blame. He went from being the darling of the heavens to someone who has now lost everything. he can’t bear the loss of his beloved

(And he never even got to confess)

Ofc HC keeps him company as a ghost fire because he’d never let his beloved be alone. (XL does not know who the ghost fire is because knowing the love of his life is not at peace would hurt him immeasurably) FX and MQ try their best to stick with him but circumstances deteriorate and they are forced out of his life once again

although this time, MQ does stand up for XL in front of the 33 gods (and gets subsequently banished from heavens). In the end, he still has to leave XL. FX gets forced out of his life after the entire sword ordeal and XL’s subsequent mental breakdown.

Unknown to XL tho they are still both watching over him from a distance because ain’t no way they are leaving their baby bro like this

When XL enters his calamity era, they both lose their minds and are trying their best to subtly stop XL from doing the worst things but THAT STUPID FUCKING GHOST ALWAYS FOLLOWING HIM AROUND WILL NOT STOP ENABLING EVERY BAD DECISION XL TAKES

fx and mq are losing their minds. when xl lies in the streets for three days, they try their best to disguise themselves and go help him but that NAMELESS GHOST!!! He does not let them!! “Your highness would be heartbroken when he realizes you two have seen him in such a state and he’d never forgive himself and you two suck at disguising yourselves anyways~”

wu ming does end up getting dispersed but not before XL realizes his true identity and absolutely loses his mind with grief because how did he manage to lose his loved one not once but TWICE and both the times it was HIS FAULT

He gets banished from heavens again because ofc

knowing xl won’t be able to cope fx and mq finally reveal themselves. xl can feel all ashamed of himself for his actions it’s fine they are not leaving him alone again and they will help him heal and move on

Except one night when the two aren’t paying attention, XL ends up running away. He can’t bear being around them, knowing they know what he did and how he caused honger’s death twice.

(fx and mq never blamed him at all. They were just heartbroken and guilt stricken for not being able to do enough for their darling brother)

Cue 800 years of searching.

This time when XL ascends, he is greeted by two powerful generals who have been reduced to a tearful mess because THEY FINALLY HAVE XL BACK WITH THEM!!! THEIR BABY BRO IS SAFE

they accompany him to mount Yu Jun as themselves and HC comes to XL’s aid

he does not reveal his identity but XL just knows this man is special

FX and MQ then tell him about Crimson Rain Sought Flower, the elusive ghost king who challenged 33 gods and crushed them all

(But he was super nice to both of them and it kinda freaked them out)

When XL meets San Lang. He knows. He just knows it’s Honger and feels like he can finally breathe again because in those 800 years he never once stopped loving him but he waits for him to reveal his identity to him because what is stopping him from telling him and fx and mq?

HC, meanwhile, is sort of embarrassed to meet them, not sure if they would be able to accept this new form of his. He missed them all dearly but he is just not able to move past his self doubts.

It is not until the cave of 10k gods that it revealed who HC really is and instead of FX and MQ freaking out, there is a tearful reunion

Um yeah. A thought was thunked. Bon Appetit

[vodika-vibes]

Hii, I wanna get in on the hurt/ comfort train while it’s here. Could you do one with your choice of “It wasn’t your fault/I’ve got you don’t cry/what did they do to you?” Thinking about how berserk most clones would go if some drunk/dick tried to spike your drink or grab you by the hair or slapped your ass or physically grabbed you and pulled you against them to kiss you or raised a hand to their girl in any way. Only if you’re comfortable with any of that!! But said drunk/dick is cooked because when one of the bros gets into a fight with a natborn they all gotta join in to make them regret ever being born, if their an alpha/spec ops/arc it won’t matter they were ever born because their about to die. Did I mention I’m paranoid yet always putting my foot in my mouth and getting myself into shit?

Time Stands Still

Summary: Colt doesn’t often get the chance to leave Kamino, so when he visits you, you like to make the most of it. But Colt is there to take care of you when a night out goes wrong.

Pairing: ARC Captain Colt x F!Reader

Word Count: 845

Warnings: Reader was drugged at a club

A/N: So, this could probably be better. But I'm tired and anxious, and this is all I have in me right now. Sorry, I hope you don't hate it. And if you do, please don't tell me because I'll probably cry.

Click HERE to be added to my taglist

You wake up nauseous.

Horrifically nauseous. Bed enough that you immediately roll off your bed and stumble into the bathroom to empty your stomach.

It doesn’t do much to help your nausea, though. And in fact, now that you’re moving you notice how bad you feel.

It almost feels like a migraine. The nausea, the vomiting, the way that the lights hurt—only there’s no pain to go with it. Maybe you’re sick?

“Cyare?” Colt’s voice comes from the bedroom, there’s something that almost sounds like alarm in his voice, which is weird. Why would he be alarmed?

Ugh, and why is it so hard for you to think?

“Cyare?” Colt appears in the doorway to the bathroom, and the worry clears from his face, “Cyar’ika, why are you on the floor?” His dark eyes flicker around the room, and his gaze softens, “Did you get sick?”

You slowly nod, “Feel awful,” You admit, “Like a migraine without the pain.”

He kneels in front of you and gently pushes some hair off your face, and you tilt your head back to look up at his face. There’s a strange expression twisting his face. Like grief…and guilt.

His hand moves, and you notice that his knuckles are split. You gently catch his wrist and turn his hand so you can examine his hand, “You’re hurt.”

“It’s nothing, love. Just some split knuckles.”

“Let me find the first aid kit—” You shift to stand, but the nausea has you crumpling in on yourself again.

“Don’t worry about me, love. I’m fine.” His lips twist, and then, slowly, he brushes his fingers against your cheek, “Love, my beautiful, perfect cyare. What do you remember about last night?”

“Last night?”

You cast your memory back, to try and remember the night before. But it’s all blank. Well, sort of.

You remember going to the bar with Colt and meeting up with some friends, and some of his brothers. And that’s it.

You don’t remember.

Why don’t you remember?

What happened to you?

You don’t realize that you’re starting to hyperventilate until you feel Colt’s hands, warm and strong and steady, on your shoulders. “Cyare, you’re okay. You’re safe.”

You cast wide, panicked eyes up at your boyfriend, “What happened? Why can’t I remember?”

His hands slowly move to cup your cheeks, to smooth across the top of your head, and then drag down your spine. You feel the tension, and panic, draining from your body the longer he just touches you.

Colt’s dark eyes remain on your face, steady and unwavering, “You were drugged, love.”

“What?” The word leaves you with all of the breath in your lungs. But, you had been surrounded by friends, by people you trust, people who you know would look after you, who who have looked out for you before.

“Your friend, the twi’lek? The red one? He slipped drugs in your drink, and then tried to get you to leave with him.” Colt’s voice is as gentle as his touch, and yet his words make you want to cry.

Antian is your friend. You’ve known him since you were in diapers.

“I…I don’t…did he—?” You can’t finish your question, the words like lead on your tongue.

“He didn’t touch you.” Colt’s voice is so firm, that your gaze, which had been locked on his chest, snaps up to meet his. “As soon as I realized what happened, I got you away from him.”

You remember his split and bruised knuckles, and slowly you reach up to touch his jaw, “Is he…alive?”

Colt’s steady gaze doesn’t waver, “Does it matter?”

The answer is written plain as day on his face, and your lower lip wobbles, “I’m so sorry.” You whisper.

“No. It wasn’t your fault.” Colt’s steely gaze softens when he sees your distress, “He made a choice and he suffered the consequences.” His fingers lightly.

“But, if I hadn’t trusted him—”

“He was your friend. You’ve known him for years,” gently, Colt helps you off the floor, “Of course you trusted him. It’s not a bad thing, to trust the people around you.” He guides you back into the bedroom and helps you lay back in bed.

“Why do I feel so bad?”

“He gave you an overdose,” Colt explains quietly, as he kneels next to you, “I’m not going to lie, love. Today’s going to suck. But I’m going to take care of you. One my my brothers is on his way over with some medicine to make today a bit easier though.”

“...okay.” You take his hand and press it against your cheek, rubbing against it, “And you’re not mad at me?”

“Never.” Colt leans in and kisses your forehead, “Get some rest love, I’ll be in the next room. Try to drink some water?”

“I can do that.”

“Good girl,” He kisses your forehead one more time, “I love you.”

And, finally, the tiniest smile lifts the corners of your lips, “Love you too. Thank you. For saving me.”

“You don’t have to thank me for protecting you. It’s my job.”

@imabeautifulbutterfly

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[yatagarasuhonyaku]

Chapter of the White Lilies: Winter's Young Tiger

Disclaimer: This is a fan-translation japanese-english of the original novel. This is a short story originally written for a japanese magazine and later compiled in one of the Ravens' Hundred Flowers books.

Blog version

For other translations, you can find them HERE

Timeline: At the start of The Raven Doesn't Choose its Master

Characters (in order of relevance): Ichiryuu, Yukiya, Yukima

Synopsis: Ichiryuu, the third son of the Shimaki Township Lord, wastes his days away picking fights and fooling around, unable to decide on the future, until a certain fateful encounter...

War cries resounded under the clear winter sky.

The air was so cold his breath came out in white puffs, yet his entire body was boiling. Boys under 15 stood on two opposite sides, facing each other in an abandoned field close to the town plaza. It was four against ten. The enemy side had the advantage.

——Fine with him.

The weak were prone to gather together anyway. There was no way he was going to lose.

A boy came straight for him, his voice raised in a cry—the other side’s ringleader, who had picked a fight with him the other day.

“Ichiryuu! I’ve had enough of your bossy ass, today is the day I’m taking you down a notch!”

Despite their similar ages, the boy was noticeably bigger and thicker than him. For Ichiryuu, however, who trained against adults all the time, that wasn’t much of a problem. He gracefully dodged the club aimed at him and snorted as he screamed back.

“And you got some real cheek there! Go home and look at yourself in the mirror, you ugly ass!”

“Huuuh!? Look who's talking, have you looked at yourself?”

“Wanna fight, you piece of shit!?”

Ichiryuu sneered at his opponent. The boy screamed as he raised his weapon once more, but Ichiryuu closed the gap between them in a flash. The other boy’s eyes opened wide in astonishment—he couldn’t react at all.

“Idiot,” Ichiryuu muttered.

He raised his fist keenly, hitting the boy right on his saggy chin.

“Yocchan!” a boy on the other side shouted.

His opponent, who had been bragging until just a moment ago, swayed for a bit as his eyes went white. He fell to the ground, knocked out.

“Yocchan! Pull yourself together, Yocchan!”

“Dammit, we won’t forget this!”

Ichiryuu watched as they picked their leader up from the ground and ran away, tails between their legs. He gave an exasperated sigh as they left.

“Truly, what a bunch of idiots...” he said just as his own underlings surrounded him in between shouts of joy.

“Classic Ichiryuu!”

“And you did it in one hit! Again!”

“And with those numbers! I was scared for a second there, and still!”

“Wait,” Ichiryuu frowned, “you were scared of those small fries? Are you for real?”

“I mean, there were twice as many of them!”

“That’s not a situation you can normally win!”

“Well, Ichiryuu is just that strong!”

“He may well be, like, the strongest in the North?”

“Cut it out. It just means they were that weak…” Ichiryuu laughed, basking in the pure admiration in their eyes. “Although, well, yeah, the title of the Strongest in the North may actually be on point!”

⊛　　　　　⊛　　　　　 ⊛

“Ain’tcha getting a bit carried away, huh, Ichiryuu!?” a man said, slapping him with such force that Ichiryuu was sent flying. His body pierced the nearby shoji screen, pulling out even the frame, before finally landing on the floor.

“That hurts! What the hell, bro!?”

A teary-eyed Ichiryuu lay on the floor, his hand covering his bruised cheek. In front of him, stood three very angry men.

“Isn’t it about damn time you stop wasting your life away, huh!?”

“What were you even thinking!? Picking fights with kids from other territories!”

“Do you even realize who you are!? The son of the Township Lord!”

In order, the men yelling at him were none other than his father, the family’s eldest brother, and the middle brother. His father held the position of the Lord in Shimaki Township of the North. His rank was high enough to face high-ranking nobles from the Center, yet the man stood out mostly because of his big, strong physique. He was built like a boulder and kids cried when they saw him smile.

The Northern Region was the land of sake brewers and warriors. Farmlands were scarce. Its sake business, however, used the local water, which was remarkably pristine, and thrived beyond belief.

On top of that, every village, no matter how small, had at least one dojo. Even its farmers, who usually focused on tilling the land, could just as easily become soldiers in times of need. The majority of the population were part-time soldiers, such was the nature of the land. This was why a man like his father, who looked more like an actual walking rock than a member of the nobility and terrified others no matter how friendly he tried to look, was actually highly welcome as a leader. 

Ichiryuu’s brothers greatly resembled their father and had the people’s wholehearted trust as well. In fact, the eldest was already hard at work as the Township’s future Lord and the middle brother was a graduate from the Unbending Reed Monastery and a high-ranking military officer. He was part of the personal guard for the Imperial Family in the Center.

For the North, raising the talents within the territory was of the utmost priority. As long as you had the gift for it, the door was open for anyone to become a warrior instead of a soldier. And, for the most talented even among such warriors, the Unbending Reed Monastery was the place to go.

In comparison to his accomplished brothers, Ichiryuu was just a problem child. He was the youngest, whose fate was still undetermined, and he spent his days fooling around in a gang with the other local kids his age.

“You’re getting close to your coming of age and having to think about your future. How about you take your own life seriously for a change?” his father admonished him with a grumble.

Offended by that, Ichiryuu pouted. “Leave me alone! I’m actually giving it a lot of thought, you know.”

There were two main possibilities for someone like Ichiryuu: to become a Township officer and help out his father and eldest brother, or to become a high-ranking military officer like his middle brother. And yet, he couldn't make himself choose. While he had absolutely no intention of working a desk job, he felt absolutely no joy either at the idea of following his brother's steps and going to the Monastery.

“You arrogant little shit, how dare you to speak like that in front of your father! If you have plans, go ahead and say so. We're waiting, and you better not try your luck with any excuses,” the middle brother threatened him.

He was the one who had sent him flying a moment ago.

Said middle brother had just come home for a visit after quite the lengthy absence. Which was good and all, but the news of Ichiryuu's pointless squabbling seemed to have only made him immediately see red.

The mere idea of following the same path as him, the most boorish of the three brothers, vexed Ichiryuu very much. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn’t help but wish his brother would realize his behavior was the actual reason for Ichiryuu's indecisiveness for the future.

“Erhm, I’m not becoming a Township officer, for starters.”

“Yeah, I could guess that much. You don't have the brains required,” his eldest brother earnestly agreed with him. It pissed Ichiryuu off, but, as he couldn't come up with a good counter-argument, he chose to let it be.

“Then what do you plan to do? Go to the Monastery like I did?” The middle brother glared at him.

Ichiryuu shook his head once more. “No. It's not like I’m obligated to go to the Monastery just because I have the skill for it, right?”

“Then what are you planning to do?”

“Well, become a wandering bodyguard, perhaps?”

That way he could still protect his homeland, turn into a guardian of sorts. Ah yes, Ichiryuu, the Guardian Deity of Shimaki. It had a good ring to it. He had said it without thinking, in the heat of the moment, but it truly was an inspired idea.

“You…”

“You're truly an awe-inspiring idiot…….”

His brothers gave him looks of pity, and Ichiryuu frowned. What was their problem?

“You may not know it, but I'm actually quite feared out there. They even call me the ‘Tiger of Shimaki’!”

“What? That’s fucking lame!”

“Now, let me warn you. You'll deeply, deeply regret what you said right now in ten years. I'm willing to bet on it. It's a guarantee,” his eldest brother said with conviction.

However, his father, who was now standing at the back, seemed to be impressed unlike his brothers. “Oh, now that explains everything! That's why your haori had this thing on the back!”

Ichiryuu had no idea when he had gotten his hands on it, but it turned out his father was holding Ichiryuu’s long haori—the same one he had dropped off in a hurry the moment he arrived home—and was giving it a good, hard look. Its black fabric was decorated with golden embroidery. It depicted an imposing leaping tiger and a swaying willow tree.

The middle brother backed away at first, letting out a scandalized gasp, before ever so slowly coming closer to examine it. “Where did you even get this foul, gaudy thing……?”

“He sewed it himself, apparently. He even bought the fabric and thread with his allowance. Isn't he good?” his father explained.

The color in both brothers’ faces faded.

“Are you serious? I didn't know that.”

“Why even go that far! Are you a tailor now?”

“Shut up! Why is that a problem? I just didn't want to bother anyone with it.” Ichiryuu stood up and forcefully took the haori from his father's hands.

At that moment, another voice interrupted the scene.

“Shutting up? Who!?” It was the angriest, loudest yell of the day so far. “I could hear you all from the front of the house. How about you shut those dirty traps of yours right now, you bunch of idiots!?”

The three brothers balked in horror upon seeing the tiny figure running towards them.

“Mum!” Ichiryuu screamed.

She raised an eyebrow. “That’s ‘mother’ to you.”

From the looks of it, she had come all the way from the kitchen. Immediately after her arrival, she proceeded to hit Ichiryuu on the side of the head with a rice paddle. “I truly cannot believe you! Why are you so damn hopeless? How about learning a thing or two from the Taruhi kids, huh!?”

Something in Ichiryuu, who was busy rubbing his head in pain, snapped when he heard her yell.

Taruhi Township were their neighbors and, by some chance, its Lord also had three sons. To make matters worse, the eldest and the middle brother were born barely a year apart, which meant they were both around Ichiryuu's age. Given their similar ages and circumstances, the three of them were constantly compared to each other.

“Now that I can't ignore! ‘Kids’, what's up with that plural? I'll take Yukima, fine, but I'm so much better than Yukiya.”

Yukima was the future Lord in Taruhi and one of those brilliant people who had it all: he was intelligent, good looking, and had a frankly pleasing personality. On top of that, he had been getting fairly decent results at the Northern Region’s tournaments, held twice a year. Ichiryuu wasn’t going to deny that Yukima had promise.

Yukiya, his slightly younger brother, on the other hand... 

He was the complete opposite of Yukima: dumb as a rock, not what you would call good looking, and a complete coward. In other words, a walking failure. At tournament matches, he would start sobbing the very instant it started and then immediately throw the bamboo sword away. Battling him was considered a completely free win among the Northern kids. 

Meanwhile, Ichiryuu wasn't the best when it came to studying, that much he was willing to admit, but his looks were most certainly not bad at all and he was courageous. On top of that, he had full confidence that his skills in arms were the best regardless of status.

Being considered inferior to Yukiya of all people was something he couldn't stand.

“He even caused trouble just the other day, didn't he? No matter how you put it, we aren't even in the same category.”

It happened during the New Year’s Greetings at the Northern Lord's Main Residence. According to the rumors, he fought with some guy and lost in quite the dramatic way, much to the Northern Lord's exasperation.

“Well, you may say that, but Taruhi's middle son was chosen to serve at the Court right after that,” his eldest brother said.

Ichiryuu let out a half-maddened scream. “Huh, why!? What's up with that? Court Service of all things?”

“I’ve heard that, from this spring onwards, he'll be working as one of His Highness Wakamiya's attendants.”

“His Highness Wakamiya's attendant…” Ichiryuu repeated, dumbfounded.

Wakamiya. The Crown Prince, in other words. The man that would one day rule all of Yamauchi. He had been studying abroad in the ‘Outside’, but he had returned a short while ago. The Rite of Ascension, the event to select his legal wife out of the Four Houses, was also supposed to start soon.

If he became the attendant of such a noble personage, Yukiya's future was all but secured. For Ichiryuu, who had until then been fully convinced Yukiya would spend his entire life shamelessly leeching off Taruhi, the news came out of nowhere.

“Whatever the excuses, he's doing just fine. Compared to that, you…” His mother clicked her tongue.

“Wait!” Ichiryuu screamed. “It makes no sense! Why Yukiya? And all of a sudden!”

“Probably because, despite appearances, he's actually giving his situation proper thought,” the middle brother added with a laugh.

“Impossible!” Ichiryuu yelled again. “Don't go assuming stupid things like that. As if he could give anything ‘proper thought’! I'm stronger and, most likely, also way smarter.”

“The biggest question here is where exactly you get that self-confidence from. It's admirable, somehow,” interjected his very exasperated middle brother.

The eldest, meanwhile, gave him a forced smile. “Taruhi's middle son has a different mother. He probably got a recommendation because of something related to that.”

This was the first time he had heard of that. Ichiryuu's eyes widened. “Really?”

“I don't know the finer details, but it was a whole deal. She's dead, but from what I’ve heard his mother’s status was much higher than the current legal wife’s.”

“In short, that's all it took to decide his future.”

——Yukiya, someone so clearly inferior to him, getting such a nice deal? Just like that? Only because of his blood?

“That's unfair!” Ichiryuu winced.

“Ryuu.” His father, who had been silent until then, called out to him with a gentle look on his face. “Before talking about others, you should first give some thought to what being a Township Lord's son truly entails. How can you even consider going to the Court when you don’t know how to behave as an aristocrat?”

“Since when are we ‘aristocracy’? Dad, do you know what our people call the Lord's Residence?”

Inspired by the castle’s atmosphere up in the mountains, they had given it the affectionate name of the ‘Bandits’ Den’. His father's rough, stone-like face blushed as he heard that, and he turned to his wife.

“Oh, my dear……. Shinobu, it must be because you're such a beauty, there’s no doubt about it! You must look like a princess kidnapped by bandits to them.”

“Oh, dear. Don't say things like that in front of the kids.”

“It's just the truth, my dear.”

Faced by their blushing, bashful parents, the brothers immediately felt a chill. ‘There they are, at it again.’ ‘I can't stand this.’ ‘What are they doing at their age?’ The brothers’ thoughts stood united, yet their father couldn't care less: their only option was to wait until their parents were done flirting.

Shinobu, their mother, wasn't a noblewoman by birth. On the contrary, she was a female warrior who won her position as the Lord's legal wife by sheer power. She trounced every single rival at a martial arts tournament. Even now, years later, it only took her one hand to manhandle her huge sons, and she prided herself as the strongest in the Shimaki Lord’s Residence.

Their mother was tiny, had a mean look in her eyes, and an utterly foul mouth on top of that. In other words, even from the perspective of a very loving relative, her appearance was at most utterly average and, rather than a princess, she had the aura of a legitimate bandit. Yet, for some reason, she was the most beautiful princess in the entire world in their father's eyes.

After quite some time spent flirting, their father finally noticed his sons’ looks. He coughed as if to get their attention.

“Anyway! You told us you wanted to become a wandering bodyguard, didn't you? If you're serious about that, I’m not against it. I'll give you my full support, even. However.” His father looked like the very picture of authority, the polar opposite of how he had acted just a moment ago with his mother. “Right now, I can tell you aren’t actually serious about it. If you keep saying whatever first comes to mind, I'll use all my power to beat that hesitation out of you.”

Ichiryuu had no way to fool his way out. His father meant every word.

“If you are going to go to the Monastery, it's about time to start preparations in earnest; you better give it some hard, proper thought. Are we good?” his father emphasized.

At his side stood his mother, who glared at him with her arms crossed, with his brothers, who were looking at him menacingly, in the other. Ichiryuu sat square on the cold dirt floor, clearly unhappy with the entire situation.

Finally, he answered with the only option he had been given.

“Yes.”

⊛　　　　　⊛　　　　　 ⊛

In the North, a huge martial arts tournament took place twice every year at the biggest temple. It was a prelude of sorts to the Good Crops and Rice Harvest Festivals(1), and skilled underage boys from all corners of the region gathered there to participate. Its purpose was to choose who would take part in the dedicatory match as an offering on the day of the festival itself.

For any commoner boy who had his sights set on the Monastery, it was the perfect chance to prove himself in front of people influential enough to give them a recommendation. In fact, there were also Monastery instructors in attendance every year. And, for the boys born in the North’s many warrior families, it was the best chance to show off the hardwon results of their training.

The sky was clear, with no clouds in sight, and the curtains hanging from the temple’s eaves flapped magnificently in the wind. It was the very last day of winter, at least according to the calendar, and yet the day was just as cold as usual. White puffs came out from people's mouths and a good warmup was a hard requisite to even hope to move properly.

Ichiryuu was very much used to fighting outside in the cold, however, so this was just more of the same to him. Just like that, he took yet another impressive and graceful victory in front of the shivering spectators.

“White, one point!”

As the crowd cheered, Ichiryuu turned towards them, lifting his bamboo sword up high. He had just won his third round, and his opponent had been none other than Yukima of Taruhi, the same boy Ichiryuu's family was so intent on wanting him to be like.

“You're just as strong as always, Ichiryuu.” A cheerful Yukima was the one to approach him first, once they were done with the customary bows.

His cheeks were flushed and his hair was messy, but he sported an easy-going expression that spoke of the quality of his upbringing. This, combined with his good looks, meant that a group of fawning girls had gathered close by. Ichiryuu couldn't be happier to have taken that victory against him in front of them.

“Well, of course. I'm the ‘Tiger of Shimaki’, after all.”

“Ah, I really don't hate that side of you,” he laughed, “but don’t expect me to follow you on that.”

Unsure about what Yukima meant, Ichiryuu was about to ask him. However, Yukima waved his hand in farewell before he got the chance. “My brother's match is next so I have to go. See you later!”

Even his back as he ran away was graceful.

“How can he look so cool even though he lost.”

“That's a future Township Lord for you……” 

He hadn’t realized it until now, but his friends were already standing behind him. Two of them had joined the tournament as well, but they had lost almost immediately so they had decided to stay around to cheer Ichiryuu on instead. His parents and eldest brother were expected to be in attendance by the Northern Lord's seat, which meant that his friends were the only ones with Ichiryuu on the field.

“I won, though,” he spouted, his tone flatter than he himself expected.

“But, of course! You were the coolest, Ichiryuu!”

“There's no need to sulk!”

“I'm not sulking.”

Yet all that euphoria from before had vanished entirely. Ichiryuu silently followed his friends, who were still frantically trying to comfort him, as they walked in the same direction as Yukima. They arrived at a venue in the corner of the precincts, delimited by a white square and completely surrounded by people. They had arrived just in time. That guy was just exchanging bows with his opponent. 

The guy’s face was the very picture of insecurity. He was none other than Yukiya, the failure of a second son of Taruhi. His hair was fluffy and unruly, and he had a red headband on his head. He was small and poorly built for his age and, unlike Yukima, his features could hardly be defined as attractive.

“You can do it, Yukiya!” A small child raised his voice from the side of the venue. Taruhi's third son, most likely. Beside him stood Ichiryuu’s last opponent, Yukima, who could only watch over his brother with worry painted all over his face. 

“Start!” the judge yelled.

Yukiya’s opponent, who was wearing a white headband, raised his voice the moment the match started, going for an attack. Yukiya visibly trembled at the sight, the tip of his sword unreliably shaking up and down.

Ah, truly a lost cause.

In the time it took Ichiryuu to think that, Yukiya’s opponent closed the distance between the two of them and, of all things to do, Yukiya chose to close his eyes. And just as Ichiryuu had expected, the match was over in barely an instant.

“...... To think a guy like that is going to be His Highness Wakamiya's attendant. The world may as well be ending.”

Pointless as it all was in the end, Ichiryuu's irritation only grew as he watched Yukiya’s brothers comfort him. Mere thoughtless whining out of jealousy, and yet his friends immediately took the bait. It wasn't exactly subtle.

“I know! You would do so much better than him, Ichiryuu.”

“His older brother could manage just fine, yes, but that guy? He's probably going to embarrass us all here in the North.”

“Exactly!” Ichiryuu wholeheartedly agreed.

Ever since they had arrived, Yukiya's future attendant work at the Center had turned out to be a popular conversation topic. From what he had learned from the many rumors circulating, there was another different nobleman who was originally supposed to do it. However, he mistook Yukiya for a commoner and fought with him. In the end, he actually hurt Yukiya. Giving up the honor to his victim had been his punishment. 

Of course, to hurt someone just because he's a commoner was in no way acceptable behavior. Ichiryuu genuinely thought the punishment was necessary and fitting. That said, he could see how someone could mistake Yukiya for someone of lower birth, and he couldn't stand knowing that, ultimately, Yukiya's entire future was decided only on the grounds of his superior lineage. It made him sick.

“But what if he started that fight knowing what would happen? The cunning of it!”

“No way, don't say scary things like that!”

“I mean, using his brains instead of his non-existent strength. It sounds like something a noble would do, don’t you think?”

Ichiryuu snorted at his friend's words. “As if Yukiya is smart enough to do that. He probably just got lucky.”

It seemed his friends had quite unrealistic expectations about rural nobility. His argument didn't seem to convince them, however, as they just muttered on.

“Maybe you're right, yes.”

“But there's still a chance he did it knowingly, ain't there?”

Ichiryuu followed Yukiya with his eyes as he left the venue, drinking some water from a bamboo bottle. “I’ve heard his mother is from a good family. Don’t you think that, if he truly were the kind to pull off something like that, he could just depose Yukima and take over as the next Township Lord instead? Not like he can actually do that, mind you,” Ichiryuu spitefully spat out. “If lineage were truly all you needed to triumph, there wouldn't be any point to working as hard as we do.”

⊛　　　　　⊛　　　　　 ⊛

In the end, Ichiryuu took third place at the tournament. There were Monastery trainees-to-be taking part in the tournament this particular year, so it was safe to say those were some excellent results. As much as it was a shame he couldn't get first place, at least it meant he didn't need to take part in the dedicatory match the next day. In that particular sense, one could even say that third was the ideal placement.

Now that his matches were over, the only thing left to do was to enjoy himself at the festival, taking place at the North's biggest city, before coming back home. The Good Crops Festival was also the first chance to drink the sake that had matured during wintertime. That was the following day, however. That night, last fall's sake was everywhere instead, and the path to the temple was filled with plenty of food stalls as well.

Ichiryuu had barely gotten the chance to take a peek or two in-between matches, but he still got to enjoy the strong aroma of grilling soy drifting from the massive pots, filled with boiling salty-sweet konjak balls, and to see some skewers of miso-marinated chicken dripping with golden oil.

Ichiryuu, happy thinking about everything he was going to eat, was about to take off his training uniform when a voice interrupted him. “Excuse me… Ichiryuu?”

He turned around and his expression hardened. Brown, unruly hair stood right under his line of sight: a short boy was looking up at him. Yukiya of Taruhi, of all people.

Their relationship went as far as playing together from time to time when they were kids, whenever there was a reunion at the Northern Lord's Main Residence. He wasn't someone he wanted to be close to now that they were older, however. He had no idea of what Yukiya could want from him, but he fully intended to appease him just enough to get him out of the way and go play as soon as possible.

He couldn’t even begin to imagine what Yukiya’s request was about.

“Teach you some basics? Me?”

“Yes. I've, well, lost all my matches today too…” Yukiya said, shriveled up like a leaf in autumn. “It'll be really bad if I keep going like this, so I wanted to get some advice from you, Ichiryuu.”

“Now, my question is, why does it have to be me? You’re going to the Center very soon too, right? There’ll surely be some busybodies in Taruhi willing to teach you.” His answer turned out way more sarcastic than he had originally intended, but Yukiya didn't seem to notice it.

“Still!” He answered energetically, “I really want you, Ichiryuu, to teach me. Every mentor in Taruhi is already getting up in years……. So, I thought that surely I could learn something useful if I train with someone strong and closer to my age. And you were so, so cool today, Ichiryuu.”

“R-Really?”

Ah, it truly wasn't such a bad feeling. To be looked up to with wholehearted admiration like that.

“Please! Even if it's just for a moment, I really don't mind!”

Well, to be completely fair, it wasn't like Yukiya himself had done anything wrong. He may have been a bit too harsh with all the jealous talk. Besides, there was something cute about how he had come all the way to ask him for help like that. Commendable, even.

Ichiryuu glanced at the window. He could see the red sky through the lattice, and his friends had told him they would go ahead to watch the kagura(2) songs and dances. There was still some time before the meetup.

“Well, if you insist that much… I'll give you a lesson or two.”

“Really? Actually, I already got a dojo for it,” Yukiya said innocently.

He brought Ichiryuu to a small building. It had been used as a waiting room for the tournaments’ participants during the day, but everyone seemed to have left a long while ago. It had been so lively just a few hours ago, and yet now you couldn't see a soul around. 

“They told me they don't use it for big matches like the ones today, but it's actually a training dojo. When I explained to them that I wanted to practice on my own, they said I could use it as much as I wanted.”

Yukiya explained as he went and lit up candles in the corners. Then, once that was done, he returned to the entrance and used both hands to carefully close the door. It was well-waxed and moved with ease, sliding into position with a soft tap.

“Now……” Yukiya turned back to him, his face illuminated from the side by soft candle light. There was a carefree, toothy smile on his lips. “Thank you for your guidance.”

“No worries,” Ichiryuu said cheerfully.

He went to the side of the dojo, where they kept the bamboo swords, and picked up one in as good a state as possible. They had no one to act as the judge, but it should be just fine. He could just point out anything he noticed as they trained, much like his own instructor did with him. Ichiryuu stood at the starting line and bowed.

“Thank you for having me,” they said to each other and Ichiryuu readied his position, bamboo sword in hand.

——It didn’t take him too long to realize something was wrong.

For the first few matches, everything was fine. Ichiryuu would just correct Yukiya: ‘Your pose is off.’ ‘Work on that leg coordination.’ It was only later that he started to notice the wrongness of it all.

Yukiya held his sword as he pitifully shrunk into a ball, making his body as small as possible. His grip didn’t seem strong at all to him. He looked outright defenseless, to put it plainly, yet Ichiryuu’s blows didn't land as they should. Every time he tried to attack, Yukiya would let out some kind of pathetic scream and then, somehow, flawlessly stop or deflect the hit.

Disconcerted, Ichiryuu backed down for a second. He studied Yukiya for a while, but the boy simply looked back at him with dread.

“...... What's up? Aren't you going to attack?” Ichiryuu challenged him.

With anxiety all over his face, Yukiya finally went on the offensive. It was a weak attempt. Ichiryuu had no problems whatsoever countering it, and immediately closed in for a blow of his own. Yet, somehow, Yukiya warded him off. His sword slashed the air.

For a moment, Ichiryuu simply couldn't believe it. He had put some actual effort into that one.

Meanwhile, Yukiya was still giving him the same old pitiful look. He even went and tilted his head, as if wondering what was wrong. And yet, Ichiryuu couldn't help but feel something off lurking in his eyes.

Indignant, Ichiryuu sighed and finally gave a loud shout as he went on the offensive again. This time around, he wasn’t going to underestimate his opponent, not one bit. Whether it was because he had noticed Ichiryuu's change in attitude or not, Yukiya's stance quickly shifted as well. His entire body relaxed and he fixed his center of gravity. Just like that, his previously deplorable footwork became buttery smooth.

Most importantly, however, were his eyes: there was no fear whatsoever in them anymore.

Seeing red, Ichiryuu cursed to himself. He put his everything into his next attacks. He tried to strike, to stab, time and time again, and yet it was to no avail. Every hit found itself rebuffed, deflected, or otherwise warded off. Despite actually trying his hardest to get a point, nothing would work on Yukiya. Most infuriatingly, the boy didn't try to counterattack even once, no matter how many openings there were.

Gradually, Ichiryuu's breath picked up. His arms felt heavier by the moment and he could taste blood in his mouth. His sight blurred, and he realized his own dripping sweat was the cause.

He slashed down with all his strength, and Yukiya finally managed to completely block him. For a moment, neither side moved.

“Is that all?” Despite the clashing swords, Yukiya’s voice and expression didn’t betray a sign of actual effort. “You're supposed to teach me the basics, right? So what's next? Please, teach me more.”

Ichiryuu's arms trembled: he was being pushed back. He couldn't tell when, but Yukiya’s gaze had, at some point, turned into that of an entirely different person. It was cold, terrifyingly so.

“Come on…… I’m telling you. Do it. Now!”

That instant, Yukiya vanished from his sight.

Before Ichiryuu even got a chance to tell what was happening, he felt something hit his legs. With a tumble, he plunged to the ground. He somehow managed to break off the fall safely, but it was already too late. He looked up. There was Yukiya, sporting a vicious smile from ear to ear and raising his sword as high as he could.

Ichiryuu didn't even have time to cover his face with his arms. Before he knew it, he was being assaulted by the sharp agonizing pain of a neverending flurry of blows. It felt like hail crashing all over his body.

“Huh? What's wrong, Ichiryuu? Is this truly all you can do?”

Ichiryuu let out a pained shriek and made an attempt to escape. It was pointless. The moment he tried to move away, Yukiya kicked him with all his strength.

“You sure are all bark and no bite, huh?” Yukiya laughed as he kept ruthlessly hitting the fallen Ichiryuu over and over again.

Bang. Bang. Bangbang.

The blows were so fast, he could swear the sounds they made were overlapping into one single cacophony. Ichiryuu pleaded, ‘stop, please, I'm begging you’, countless times. Finally, Yukiya's arm stopped.

“I-I'm sorry I made fun of you. That's why you're so angry, right? I'll apologize!” Ichiryuu said in between barely suppressed sobs.

“Oh,” Yukiya’s eyes opened wide, “so you were making fun of me. Didn’t know.”

And, just like that, he had made his situation exponentially worse.

Ichiryuu could feel his consciousness threatening to leave him as a sneering Yukiya picked him up by the collar. “Well, I can more or less make an educated guess. Not like I actually give a shit about how you feel about me, mind you—but that said, you really, really should think long and hard about your own position before opening that big trap of yours again.”

“My position…?”

“Today, at the tournament venue, you said that I could probably take over the position of Taruhi's Township Lord in the future, didn't you? Because I come from a better family than my brother. And you better not tell me you've forgotten,” Yukiya threatened him.

Ichiryuu audibly gulped. “Nonono! Wait! I did say it, yes, but it was under the assumption that you couldn't actually do it, you know!”

“Shut up! And listen for once in your life!” Yukiya shouted as he punched him in the face. “It doesn't matter what you were thinking. Right now, rumors about it are all over the damn place. Those two lackeys of yours sure like gossiping, huh!?”

“No! Did those two also go through this?” Ichiryuu said, startled.

“Don't look down on me,” Yukiya spat out, “those two actually understood things once I explained it to them all nicely. I'm not angry with them, I'm angry with you.”

“Then, why?”

“So you truly don't realize who you are. Incredible,” Yukiya sighed with heartfelt exasperation as he threw Ichiryuu back onto the floor. “The third son of the Shimaki Township’s Lord, Ichiryuu—an aristocrat. Low or not, it doesn’t matter.”

Yukiya picked his bamboo sword back up. He had thrown it away when he first caught Ichiryuu by the neck. “You may have meant it as some simple jealous banter, but those are still the words of a Lord's son. People will take them at face value. If someone from the Township is saying it, it must be true after all! Stupid as it may be, it gives rumors some credibility. Before you even know it, they spread like wildfire.”

——Before talking about others, you should first give some thought to what being a Township Lord's son truly entails. His father's kind words came back to Ichiryuu in a flash.

“I’m the first one to agree it's stupid for everything to be determined by one's birth, but the fact remains that we benefit from it. And at least I can say with full confidence that I have some idea of what nobility is all about.”

Yukiya slammed the sword against the palm of his own hand. He was looking down on Ichiryuu as if he were the scum of the earth. “You see, the benefits and responsibilities of a noble are equal. The only reason you haven’t had to work until now and got enough training to become third best in the North is because you’re a rural noble. How daring of you, to ignore that and go around acting all jealous of my bloodline. Imagine the disgust that those who heard you spout that crap must have felt.”

Ichiryuu found himself with no way to argue back.

“Now, listen well, Ichiryuu. I have no intention whatsoever of taking my brother's position. I don't have plans to go to the Monastery or the Center, either. I plan to spend my entire life working for my brother's sake under his command. Do you even have the slightest idea of what I've had to go through because of inconsiderate, groundless suspicions such as yours?” As he spoke, Yukiya's face twisted as if in pain.

“I propped up my brother and publicly declared I had no such ambitions. Finally, finally, everything had settled down…… And then, just when the situation had taken yet another turn for the worse because of my work at the Center, you go and open your stupid mouth. All my work gone in a single day, just like that.”

“I-I'm sorry…”

“I don't really need your apologies. Now, stand up, Ichiryuu. Weren't you going to help me train?”

Yukiya slashed the air with his sword. Still on the ground, Ichiryuu dodged the hit and crawled away in another attempt to escape. Yukiya cackled and ever so slowly started to walk after him.

“You aren't a worm. Stop crawling and stand up—if you can, that is,” Yukiya shouted at him. He was clearly enjoying himself.

Then, just at that moment—

“Stop, Yukiya!”

The dojo’s tightly closed door opened in unison with a heartrending cry. Yukima, white as a sheet, appeared at the other side. Yukiya's raised sword stopped in mid-air as his body visibly tensed.

“Brother.”

“Don’t you think that's enough? It's not like Ichiryuu truly meant us any ill.”

Yukima must have been in a hurry to find this place. Sweat dripped down his forehead and he was clearly struggling to breathe. Faced by his older brother, Yukiya looked around, as if he was just thinking about something, and finally lowered his sword.

“Is that an order?”

“What?”

“If you give me the order, I’ll follow it.”

The two brothers intently looked at each other for a while and, in the meantime, Ichiryuu could only pray as he watched them. Finally, a very saddened Yukima broke the silence.

“As the next Township Lord, I order you: stop right now.”

“Understood.”

Yukiya dropped the bamboo sword. Once again, he turned towards Ichiryuu. There was a clear, easy-going smile on his lips. “I don't think it will ever happen, but just in case: better be careful to not ever show any kind of ill will towards Taruhi. If you do, I'll be coming after you with everything I have.”

“I'm sorry, Ichiryuu. He has been going through a lot lately,” Yukima whispered before leaving the place as well. “That said, you should be careful too. We aren't only our own people, you know.”

That second part left a strong impression on Ichiryuu. “So, ‘don't be selfish’, huh… Ouch!”

Using the remaining ointment from the tournament, Ichiryuu took care of his wounds by the dojo’s veranda. Every single one of his wounds could be easily hidden away under his clothes, which was just as surprising as clearly intentional. Yukiya was obviously used to this kind of thing, albeit in a whole different sense than Ichiryuu.

There was a part of him which was shaking in fear and frustrated by what had just happened. Another, however, just felt some form of pity. He couldn't escape a feeling that he had just taken a peek behind the curtain, to the kind of life the Taruhi brothers had lived through.

From the entrance of the temple, he could hear the lively music and people's laughter.

A realization had come to him as well. If Yukiya had actually tried at the tournament, his results would have been completely different. He could feel his mood dampening by the moment. He didn't feel like going out to play, not anymore.

“Aaah, dammit!” Ichiryuu yelled, sprawling on the floor.

His family was the kind to ruthlessly hit each other during fights and throw insults all the time, and they were more like bandits than nobles. Yet, after all this time, he had finally come to notice something: they were truly fortunate, blessed even.

May as well go to the Monastery.

It would make his family happy. Plus, that way he should also be capable of fulfilling that so-called ‘responsibility’ Yukiya had talked about.

——Besides, he did say he wasn't ever going to go there.

Anyway, for the time being, better put the ‘Tiger of Shimaki’ to rest.

——————————————————

1: The festivals usually known as Kinensai (祈年祭), which is indeed to pray for good crops, and Niinamesai (新嘗祭), in which newly harvested rice is offered to the gods by the Emperor. Though they’re only tangentially mentioned, the specific timing of both of them matters, so I found it better to localize them.

2: Kagura (神楽) refers to ritual dances and songs considered sacred by Shintoism and usually performed at shrines.

[doctorsiren]

thinking about Phoenix Fulwright….😳

[zehl0w]

Zenitsu agatsuma has got to be the biggest egg I have ever seen in my entire life

[officially-other]

My first attempt at writing that's vaguely like poetry: from a dragon

I am not what you think.

I walk around, awkward limbs and flighty mannerisms, and you think I’m strange. You have no idea how strange you would think I am if you only saw what was underneath.

Underneath, I am a creature of the ocean. Something that could never pass as human, and no longer wants to. Saltwater rushes through my veins in secret, silent to everyone but me. To me, it’s a roaring sound of the waves that I have never seen except for within my soul. It yearns to dissolve into the ocean like it could long ago, but for now those days are over and I am hidden underneath skin and muscle.

Underneath, there are wings; fins; antlers. They ache to tear from my back, through my skull. Nonetheless, they stay hidden for me, safe in the silence. Protected like I protected my kin in a lifetime so close to the surface and yet unreachable. Wrapped in a form that no longer coils around them like a serpent, but keeps them hidden from predators well enough I suppose.

I suppose.

I accept my form reluctantly and do what I can to make it mine. I shape it to feel better when I discover my gender, and when I can’t shape it to fit my true self I cover it in things that feel a little more like home. A little more draconic. A little more like the ocean that I never have seen, but feel homesick for anyway.

I do find joy in being in this body, at least. Out there, there are others. Angels working minimum wage, dragons sitting on a park bench, wolves buying groceries. We hide, but we do so to be free. We walk through crowds, and no one notices our scales and fur and feathers. But we do. We see each other, even if from miles away, and we see what’s underneath.

And underneath, none of us are what you think.

(Tags for side commentary/context)

[dailykugisaki]

Day 335 | id in alt

Being desperate to end the fight might make you even worse off in the long run, Shoko.