#in other words i dont feel strongly about this but i write like i do lmao

[aroanthy]

hi!! i know u talk a lot about aromanticism a lot on here, but i don’t think i’ve ever seen u talk about aromantic anthy. would u mind discussing/elaborating on it or linking to a post where u do because i’m very curious!!

i got a similar ask half a year ago or something ridiculous like that on my main blog, but i’d like to really do justice to my url right now and explain it in more concrete terms.

i will say, it’s important to bear in mind that this reading of anthy’s character is very much informed by my own experiences, and a lot of those experiences are ones im not keen to talk in depth about. but you know. let’s make some nebulous gestures towards ideas of being traumatised, being autistic, struggling to meaningfully connect with others and honestly not really wanting to do such because of how they treat you.

like ive previously said, an aromantic perspective on the world would, i think, really benefit anthy. when youve lived your whole life experiencing violence at the hands of these patriarchal structures, of which romance is absolutely one, it’s kinda like. damn. im uncomfortable buying into those ideas.

anthy also has this lovely line in ep 19 where she says to utena ‘romance either happens or it doesn’t’ and it’s just sooooooo. so very interesting to me, actually, that anthy would say something so black and white about ‘romance’, a topic that anthy knows better than a lot of rgu characters is hopelessly confused and arbitrary and often enabling violence. and utena (fellow aromantic gaybo) says 'yeah, i know, but...'. these simplifications, these elisions. what is and isn't articulated. but what? maybe things are much more complicated than we'd like to think.

anyway enough of that tangent. one thing i as a trans and aromantic person always return to when discussing trans and aromantic readings of characters/texts more broadly is that there's no singular piece of evidence that can really cement these readings as Undeniable. it's like. okay. there's a critique of romance as a patriarchal structure in revolutionary girl utena. there's an ambiguity about anthy's feelings towards characters like utena, where there is clearly a queer connection but it takes shape in unconventional and complex ways. me, i'm aromantic, i see all of these pieces and i go oh well that's because she's an aromantic lesbian. you know, there's plenty of little moments i can evidence but those moments can be used to argue for an alloromantic lesbian anthy too. romance is a very arbitrary thing and i think everyone should take their own approach to it unapologetically. of course, mine is that it's hellish and i want nothing to do with it, but im just one guy. and im okay with that. i feel strongly about this reading and it is personal, and id be dishonest to say otherwise, but i do also find that it's well-evidenced in the text. as one of my lecturers once said, don't worry about authorial intent, it isn't real <3

[waitingawhile]

Peer Pressure Duo loveposting

Coming to the realization that if you take any character on the dream smp and analyze their relationship to c!ranboo or c!technoblade you immediately get this other side of that character or just an interesting pair. Like, what the fuck was burger duo. That was a thing that occured and it had no reason to but it made so much sense and I loved it. Niki and ranboo or Niki and technoblade both offer a great opportunity to learn more about her character and how they may parallel her. Quackity's opinion of Technoblade. Quackity's opinion of Ranboo, especially in NLM. Fucking bedrock bros and the driving influence it had on cTommy's character post-exile. The way these two characters just exist in another person's narrative and immediately become a catalyst of change for them. c!Techno's impact is far more conspicuous as once he has appeared within a narrative the characters begin to talk about and fixate on him as a force of nature. c!Ranboo's impact is more like a fridge horror to anyone experiencing it where their impact is not realized until down the line, or perhaps is only realized by the audience when looking for it. Like. Yeah c!Tommy main character sure yes by way of force. Bro inserts himself loudly into each plotline, but he does not always mesh and becomes more of a cameo in stories that are not his own. He remains an unchangeable force. C!Ranboo is like. Underneath each plotline. They openly receive the meaning of that plot line upon entering it and react quietly and methodically in response to those meanings. He's extremely good at grasping a situation, but no matter how much he is meshed into yet another narrative, he is invisibilized and overshadowed by the other characters involved (and this is by design). There is not a single space that is off-limits to c!Ranboo as dictated by those who inhabit it, but c!Ranboo isn't people's topic of discussion. C!Techno on the other hand tries deliberately to remain on the margins of the plotlines or is explicitly feared in spaces by those who inhabit it, but is constantly involved through mention or incitement to different stories by their respective characters. I don't know man. Like what the shit they're both so incredibly narratively compatible with just about every character on the server (tho not often personally compatible).

The presence of both Techno and Ranboo in Dream's prison escape in combination continued to add such a new and refreshing flavor to Dream lore. And on that note! The way that Ranboo acts around Dream (the real dream) is obviously so fucking *i glitch out of the map*. These twooooooo. ccTechno and ccRanboo really said We Are Writers. We Are LARPers. Observe.

[delimeful]

Really? You don’t find passive aggressive comments, such as your tags, do be impolite?

And how, exactly, is an ask button (which YOU enabled) that is commonly known to be used for requesting stories on Tumblr from writing pages impolite? Are you new to writing Tumblr? What do you think a majority of writers on Tumblr use that ask button for?

I’ve been a follower for a while but I’m pretty dissapointed tbh.

Anonymous asked: I noticed a reply from @/gstash So let me address that as well. No, of course I don’t expect everything immediately and for free, and I initially requested this story over a year ago. I also spent over $50 being subscribed to Lime’s Patreon specifically for this story, but I had to stop due to low finances. I was just trying to check on when it may be up soon, but I felt the response was rather rude.

(the added slash is mine, i didn't want to inadvertently @ anyone else in this debacle lol)

this is gonna be my final word on the matter because im sick of getting home from work to asks like these. anything else is gonna be deleted. feel free to go ahead and use your actual blog to reply instead of anon if you still feel that strongly about it.

i dont think my tags weren't passive aggressive they were just plain statements. no, i don't think it's impolite to express a boundary irt people asking me for updates. your indignation about this reflects on you, not me.

to clarify, badgering me for updates (verbatim: "Could you please please please post chapter 7") isn't impolite, just irritating. it was the decision to send another ask chiding me for my response that was impolite. kind of a dick move, as most involved in the tumblr writing community know. i genuinely feel sorry for the writers you follow if you genuinely only see their ask boxes as an opportunity to pester them.

i'm disappointed too, anon. i hoped that maybe keeping calm and sincerely explaining myself would be enough to prompt you to respond with empathy in kind, but instead you doubled down.

it seems like there's been a misunderstanding in regards to my patreon; there is no tier that ensures a specific chapter of a fic is updated within a specific time frame. that would be a commission, which is explicitly listed as a reward for my $30 tier, because those take a lot more time + energy for me.

my $12 patreon tier offers early access to my writing, and the ability to request future chapters be moved up on my to-do list, through polls + priority continuation requests. i can't guarantee any specific chapter update in a month, and i'll explain why.

currently, i have over 50 total WIP fics being worked on. each month, i get around 25 chapter update requests. even assuming that each chapter is 2k, my usual minimum chapter length, i would have to write 50,000 words every single month. if i had the capability for that kind of regular output, i would be churning out books like stephen king instead of constantly struggling for my usual monthly 10-15k like a chump lol.

in essence, don't subscribe to my patreon for a specific story unless you know the next chapter for it is already up there. which it is, because i eventually got to your request. and it'll eventually be up on the blog for free. and during the months you spent subscribed to my patreon, you received at minimum tens of thousands of words of content.

finally, an earnest request: please stop acting like twelve dollars is an exorbitant fee when i'm literally making pennies per word written. like, i could have worked a single 8 hour shift at mcdonalds in texas for minimum wage instead and i would have ended up with $8 more than you paid me for four months of many hours of dedicated work.

(not even a joke: 7.25 x 8 = 58.)

in conclusion, i am a human person with feelings, just like every other writer on this site. please take a moment to remember that when sending asks in the future

[dr-spectre]

So brainwashed Callie in official content is cringe. Do you feel the same about it in Fanfiction? Have there been any takes on Hypno Callie that you enjoyed?

Honestly? I don't feel the same way about it in fanfiction. There's a lot of information and different takes floating around about certain things in the franchise so I dont necessarily blame people for using the word "brainwashed" for Callie in their fanfiction. The English localisation of Splatoon has said she was brainwashed despite other languages and the original Japanese version not using the word. At least from my own knowledge. So I get why most fans would take that information and immediately believe it's true.

Plus there's more people talking about what actually happened to Callie on twitter and tumblr which is really incredible to see!!! Im so happy to see Callie being treated with more respect!!!!! It is a night and day difference compared to the treatment in 2017 to 2020.

Surprisingly enough I don't actually consume a lot of fanfiction. I can read my own writing easily but I can't read others that well and... I feel really bad about it... but I have read a bit of this one fanfiction that got Hypno Callie 99% right. I fucking forgot the name but i was recommended it by someone in the past, it had "dome" in the name? It was about DJ Octavio and the Octarian domes.

The way they explained the shades was actually really interesting and unique! It's basically shades that play catchy music and that's how Callie got hypnotised. It fits in line with DJ Octavio too as he's well... a DJ. Plus daydreaming and listening to music goes hand in hand so it has some basis in reality too. Everyone at some point has been put into a daydream state when vibing out to music.

Although I say 99% because there's this one line that Callie says, "Are these shades brainwashing me?" And it was so clunky I'm sorry LOL. And there's this implication that its also doing something further to Callie's brain but it's not that explained well, which i really dont like. Other than that, my Hypno Callie content is mainly fanart and 99% of that has been phenomenonal and powerful stuff.

However.... my biggest fucking gripe in "fan content" if you wanna call it that is... timeline videos and people going over plot details and stuff like that.

These people actually do RESEARCH and spend a lot of time analysing the story of Splatoon and trying to put the pieces together. Yet for Callie it feels like they just do a quick read through of Inkipedia and that's it because they dont give a flying fuck about her character. It drives me fucking psychotic and i cant be safe watching Splatoon videos anymore. How hard is it to say hypnotised? HOW HARD IS IT?!?!?! JUST USE THAT WORD!!! THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO DO!!! GOD DAMN!!!! DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD BRAINWASHED AT ALL?!?!?!

It's really disappointing to me that this outdated timeline video is the ONLY VIDEO to say Callie was hypnotised and not "brainwashed." And that... makes me kinda pissed off.

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE CHOSEN ONE!!!!

YOU TOO!!!!

I can't even watch these videos anymore man. I'm sad. I'm not even trying to send hate over to them, they put in a lot of work... except for a character I really care about....

Imagine you like a particular character and you feel really strongly about them. Now Imagine people saying wrong or yucky things about that character and treating it as fact despite you knowing "Hey something is not right here. I think there's more here than people realise." And all the most popular and well liked content is spreading that kind of information around about your favourite character. It would drive you crazy yeah? I'm sure everyone has that one character in every fanbase.

Anyways, thanks for the ask! Sorry if it was long... I tend to ramble about Hypno Callie LOL! (Autism)

[stregoniconiconii]

maybe it's because i've been working on my own transfem stevie fic for ages now and so i have my own very specific headcanons, but going through the tag is truly . it's not the greatest experience. for me. there are surface level reasons for this and also far more insidious reasons.

like there is the matter of me not really shipping steddie or harringrove. this is surface level. i just don't like either of their characters and i find the fans of the ships and those characters annoying. this is life in fandom. it means that most of the time, if i want to read a fic about stevie, i must also suffer reading about eddie or billy, neither of whom i care about. again, such is life. it's fine. ship what you want.

but. but. i do not like how transfem stevie gets written a lot of the time either. whether it's in posts or fics. there's a lot of ideas ppl spout that they have not actually examined. many of which feature transphobia/transmisogyny. and i have to see them. and it sucks.

bc. like. why do so many ppl write stevie's bf du jour as gay. like this is often specified. eddie is a gay man who has just found out that his boyfriend wants to be a woman. wow how does eddie feel about that? i dont care. thats what a lot of fics are about tho. yay. eddie isn't even gay, its just a popular headcanon. altho some ppl believe in it so much they've convinced themselves there are hints of it in canon. there isn't. there are some ppl out there who do feel at odds with transfem stevie and eddie dating bc they believe so strongly in gay eddie. which is fine. eddie can be bi. or straight. i think a bi realisation is fun and i think its even more fun when the bi realisation happens in reverse to what is expected. but there are a number of works out there that still insist on eddie calling himself gay. when he has a trans wife. and i do not like that. it feels invalidating to stevie's identity as a trans woman. it's also. it's not about stevie. it's about how her boyfriend feels about his partner transitioning. most of the time.

i also do not like so many ppl feeling the need to explain why stevie and robin aren't dating in this au. like. there's a few reasons why so many of those posts rub me the wrong way. there's some that are obvious. i distinctly remember a post that posited a PANSEXUAL robin and stevie attempting to have casual sex. first off. there's zero need to specify a pansexual robin. it can just be regular old lesbian robin bc lesbians are attracted to women and. forgive me stating the obvious here but. trans women are women.

that's just one post. but there are MANY that state that robin and stevie do not and will never date bc it is "disgusting". that is often the word used. disgusting. it's meant to be funny perhaps? some joke about stevie and robin being sisters and incest is gross. okay. well they aren't sisters. personal headcanon time but i dont think they see themselves as siblings, canonverse or otherwise. i think they're just friends. and i dont like seeing all these posts saying that kissing, having sex with, or dating a trans woman is "disgusting". it upsets me. more than once ive seen robin being upset with/at?? stevie for being attractive to her and still somehow unavailable to her. bc ? she knows that she does some gross/embarrassing thing? they know each other too well? so they can obviously never date. which is. honestly it's just confusing. do you think couples dont know the other farts? that they don't know each other? but again the image invoked is that being with a trans woman would be gross or embarrassing. that's not a fun thing to hear about.

sometimes the reason given is that they've known each other too long. they spent so much time only thinking of each other as friends that it's weird to think about the other in a romantic light. okay that can happen. but again this is usually accompanied with robin being like. kinda mad at stevie for being hot as a woman. so she's attracted to her? but not bc she knows her gross habits too well. but maybe if she had met her now, and not before she transitioned, then they may have gotten together. so the fact that robin knew her as a man is putting her off dating her? wow. that has some implications. i've seen many reasons as to why stevie and robin can't date, except really the most important one: that they don't want to. they're happier just being friends. it never occurred to them to start dating each other bc they're happy with the way they're relationship is. but that rarely comes up. the fact that it would be gross comes up far more often.

you don't have to write about stevie and robin dating. or having sex. or being anything other than friends if you just want them to be friends. seeing this same idea repeated over and over again, that it would be gross for them to be together, just makes it feel like you are overcompensating. like maybe you do believe they could date and be very happy, which actually would be fine. it's a niche au and has very little to do with canon so i don't think it means that you secretly want stobin to date in canon. but honestly? the way ppl speak against stobin dating in this sort of au implies that they are still primarily thinking of canon steve. in a transfem stevie au. which i think colours the way they talk about stevie's relationships, not just with robin but also with other characters. i think they are thinking of canon steve pretending to be a trans woman. which is. well, do i need to say it?

i also can't believe i need to say this but ppl who want to ship a lesbian and a man together will just do that. they already don't care. why would they jump through those hoops of genderbending a male character when they could just write what they want to write? no one is stopping them. you can post whatever you want on ao3, for better or worse, and if you actually delved into the tag you would see that the way transfem (or even cisfem) stobin is written is very different from canon stobin. there are completely different kinks going on. it's as asinine as believing that men will dress up as women to attack women in bathrooms, imo. like. they don't need to do all that, they can just attack women in bathrooms. and they often do. that thought might be too harsh but i do believe it's the same sort of sentiment.

i think that's sort of the crux of my issue with a lot of transfem stevie content. the idea of canon steve is too forefront in her creation. she is a woman but still male enough to date a gay man and also still male enough to not date a lesbian. and it's not about her. it's not about stevie. it's upsetting. i don't like it. i think transfem stevie deserves better.

[chryblossomjjk]

bts fic recommendations | 01.17.23

→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs

motor head - @jeonjcngkook (jjk x reader | fwb, angst, smut, pwp)

summary: jungkook doesn’t like seeing someone else have your attention, so he decides he’s gonna do something about it.

feel like ive been here since the conception of this majesty?? like i was here for the horny discord chats n edits about motorcycle jk, therefore, it's only fair that i can gatekeeper him... mine. ALSO NOT U STARTING IT OFF W GETTING SANDWICHED BETWEEN MY BIAS N BIAS WRECKER?? THE DISRESPECT OF IT ALL!!!

^the feminism leaving my body when sav writes about jk manhandling oc n having her use his bike as a vibrator

^^me regaining the feminism when she whips a whole tape measure at him theme shits is HEAVY LMAO

also like... your brain w this fucking smut bro?!?! it's literally one of the hottest smuts ive read in a v v v long fucking time?? THE JUMPER CABLE HANDCUFFS LIKE GTFO??? SHAKESPEAREAN OF SMUT REALLY!! and i completely get where oc is coming from bc some of the things he said had me side eyeing like... repressed feelings maybe? but then is he just super possessive and his anger/hurt came from ego n not emotions... genuinely love when the characters are hard to read like thats everything. n she better fuck taehyung >:( BUT RUN DONT WALK TO READ THIS UGH IT WAS SO GOOD BBY LIKE NO WONDER SHE WAS DOING ROUNDS IN THE TAGS!!!!!!!

tales of broken hearts - @taegularities (kth x reader | ex2l, childhood sweethearts, fluff, angst, smut)

summary: when a work trip brings you back home, you don't expect for anyone to await your return or remember you. but despite the time apart, taehyung still does - still looks at you the same way he used to five winters ago.

rid, im not joking when i say this is everything i want in a fanfic. like ex2l always gets me, and you legit mastered it with this one. something about right person wrong time just does it for me. that opening line was so simple but so so so beautiful:

"Love doesn't bloom during frigid winters."

and your ability to fully write in the pov of the character that you've crafted is nutty. like on the outside, it seems like a simple thing to do, but ik from experience that it's really not. like the way you perfectly represented oc's bleakness in the beginning through the word choices, that only shifts when taehyung is being discussed, is a1 storytelling. and same with him, like even when things are falling apart, the metaphor compares oc to a star, n that's how he sees her despite the circumstances. IM EMOTIONAL!!!

and idk dude i think i feel so strongly about this piece bc i relate to this oc sooo much. like the way ur desire to get out of ur current situation bleeds into every aspect of ur life n ruins relationships n u end up even worse than u started off in a lot of ways- NOT THIS FIC BEING A WHOLE HIT PIECE RID LMAO >:(

they deserve eachother sm and oc deserves a happy easy love and THE ROUNDABOUT MOMENT IN THE END LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME I LOVE WHEN EVERYTHING TIES IN AND UGH I FUCKING CAN'T THIS WAS A MASTERPIECE LIKE I NEED TO SEE THIS ON FILM BBY THE BIG SCREEN!!!!!!!

posting this a lil early but who gaf :')

[orangepeelshortbreadcookies]

Hello!!! sorry i jum in here but i saw many post of your as a polin pen hater. You can hate what you want of course but its necessary to lie just to hate a character because of her body??? it wasnt that bad, she was not mean.

yes, what she did telling the ton marinas secret was not the best choise but it was what she thought it was the only way. Do you all wish for colin a marriage with not love?? and in a more practical way this is fiction and we all now he was going t end with pen , they are end game and thi is romance, its suppouse to be romantic that theu found each other, and for me it is. She didnt told marina secret because she wants colin for herself , she never thought she cold have him. maybe yo dont understand this but we, fat girls who are foung unattractive NEVER expect love or having a man, even less somone like colin. I think you, as many sadly, jugdge Pen actions too strong and deep down its all becuase of how she looks. Depp down i know you judge her action strongly becuase you can't accept that a woman who looks like that get something. I know you will keep hating, just want to say my opinion

(2) I saw you ask once why we ( pen fans) are mad when people hate her like you do if we got everything, saying like she happy and get married and LW. i will answer that from my perspective. Im fat, people is mean and that herats and yes, maybe it not a good things but it nice to have a revenge for all that suffering , but beside that i feel represented FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME in a romance show, ALL THE ROMANCE FEMALE LEADS AND THIN WOMAN and for the first times she looks like me but everyone is hating her becuase of how she looks and the worst is anyone accept its becuase of that, you all write long essays jugdging her actions but as i said, Were her actions that bad???? think about it fr......

Others please also refer to this post for more context.

I did not intend to answer this ask, because honestly, I'm really very lazy. Since there are only so many ways I can make my argument against the same accusation over and over again, especially to someone who clearly doesn't want to listen, I figured ignoring was the right decision. I'd rather spend my creative energy and efforts on my own writings, instead of figuring out another elaborate wording on how being critical of a character's actions does not equate fatphobia, and that personal adversity does not equal a 'get out of jail' free card for repeatedly inflicting pain on other people on a mass scale. I've talked about it in depth in my own blog, as well as reblogging other eloquent, well thought-out posts from others, Polin fans and anti-Polin fans alike. You can just scroll through my blog to see that. But I don't think you have come after me, time and again, to be convinced.

Even now, I still think ignoring you would have been the smarter, or at least, easier course of action for me. But I digress. Maybe it's one of those days where I feel more confrontational, maybe my ADHD is acting up and my meds are not hitting as well today, maybe after weeks of stress-filled personal achievements I'm feeling talkative seeing someone trying to disturb my peace. Nontheless, since you've made diligent efforts in seeking out my response, today's your lucky day, once and for all.

Something my mutuals and followers might have learned about me, is that I, being pretty fucking lazy, don't post/write a lot. To remedy this, when I do post, oftentimes I try to be as thorough as I possibly can. So, in the spirit of being thorough, here's a little log of the things I have received in the past weeks, on this site as well as on AO3, some of which, @cherryblossom970sblog, I have reasons to believe came from you

So you feel represented by character. Awesome. Good for you. You should celebrate it with like-minded people. You think nobody likes Penelope the way you do? Find the ones who do. I can assure you, they exist. I saw them daily on my dash. Read fics that bring you joy. Don't read the ones that don't. I have seen way too many Penelope/Anthony, Penelope/Benedict or even Penelope/Gregory fics, or fics where Penelope just straight up abused Colin that are celebrated in the comments. I don't like those and you know what I do? Scroll past those fics or click out of those and not read them. You know what I don't do? Go after the writers, try to police their writing, and accuse them of bigotry for not catering to my preferences.

Accept the fact that it's not going to be a 100% percent approval rating. And that's fine. That's part of life. I'm a primary Benophie fan, I've seen people wanting Benedict to end up with different people. It's their prerogative, I leave them alone. I have mutuals who have different takes on actions of Kate, Edwina, and Anthony, with varying degrees of feelings regarding how season 2 ends, and I have my own opinions. Personally, I find all three parties were wrong in that triangle, especially Anthony, and the sisterhood between Kate and Edwina in that season ought to have been handled with more respect and care. And my mutuals and I have civil, nuanced discussions about such things and ending those with still different opinions. That's okay. They're fictional characters and their actions are up to character analysis. It's fine.

What ISN'T fine is obssessively stalking inboxes of strangers, REAL people, unleashing insane level of hate and prejudices in defence of a FICTIONAL character, and accusing them of crimes they OBJECTIVELY did not commit, all because they don't share your opinions. I know you don't think this kind of behaviour is okay, you said so yourself that it's not a good thing. You've experienced fatphobia, you have my sympathies for that, but it doesn't give you the right to be shitty to other people. Your own bad experiences do not entitle you to disrespect, dismiss, invalidate and insult the people you harassed, including me, many of which are WoCs who have valid concerns regarding how their own experiences are represented and treated on the show. My struggles of being a bisexual, Asian, immigrant woman does not excuse me from being toxic to people who have done me no harm. I will not be vindicated in demeaning someone who have criticisms against the actions of fictional character who share my traits, criticisms that I just happen to disagree with.

And frankly, I find reducing the nuances of a character or person to only their bodies, to contribute (as either condemn or excuse) their actions to be only the result of their bodies, fucking insulting. It's infantalising and dehumanising.

Have a nice day and happy shipping. Leave us alone.

[torakan]

PART THREE

it’s a bit short, but i’ll try to post the next one soonish ^^

part two

I didn’t really hesitate out there, to be completely honest. My goal was to satisfy my curiosity as fast as possible and if feasible, avoid troubles, so I just went straight to the box and took the paper, trying to hold my saliva inside. That piece of chocolate still smelled pretty damn good… so with no thoughts about food I took that note and, collecting all the knowledge I had about letters and spelling, I read: “I’m sorry I saw you. Hope ur okay now. This is for you.”

An apology? That thing was for me? And now he’s been hoping that I was okay? Are you freaking serious? That was creepy… nice, but still very creepy. Even now I couldn’t stop myself from comparing what I heard about humans before with everything that was happening to me at this very moment and it was… actually, yeah, it was nice. A thought crossed my mind: maybe it was a trap? Maybe this bean was trying to make me think I’m safe, but in fact he just needed me to let my guard down? But then what? Would he catch me and expose me to the local news? And after that humans would’ve been aware of our existence, and it would’ve been completely my fault. Or perhaps he wanted to keep me as his pet? Not a much better option, but I still would’ve preferred this to being a traitor.

I caught myself on overthinking again and shook my head. This was one of the flaws I had and needed to work on – less thinking, more acting. And I don’t mean like not to think at all, which even if I wanted to I could not have ever… nevermind.

With that, I thought to fuck all my thoughts and do what my gut feeling tells me to. You know, a borrower may not be as academically smart or whatever as human, if only he’s not interested in educating himself, but our intuition truly never fails. I opened my handmade bag (I am pretty proud to tell you all that I made it myself and it was the second thing that I’ve sewed in my life) and took a pencil lead I once found abandoned on the guy’s desk and a piece of paper, similar to the one he left, but a bit more worn out. I didn’t really care though as long as the human was able to read what I wrote.

When I was a child, my dad and older brother both tried to teach me how to write, but I wasn’t the plodding type of kid, and it was always more fun to wander around running my mom’s errands or looking for ass adventures. I did manage to remember how to write some words, so here is how my response turned out: “I m fine dont wory. Please dont tell other beans about me. And dont bother. Rules.”

I was quite fond of it even though my handwriting looked a bit unsteady, but I did it. There wasn’t enough space to write everything I wanted, but I thought it was understandable. If anything, the guy didn’t seem stupid to me, so he should get it.

To be completely honest, I was filled with anxiety the moment I looked at everything that was going on at that moment. However, it was already too late to chicken out, so I just put both papers back with strongly shaking hands and hurried to vanish from there as quickly as possible. The human had already left the kitchen, and I could hear the sound of the water flowing in the bathroom, so I assumed that the guy was giving me the opportunity to get home safely. Or maybe it was just a coincidence, who knows?

next

@gtzel @smallsday

[pynkhues]

curious as to your thoughts on the may december discourse (some spoilers i guess) - vili has come out and essentially said that he felt the film contributed to his victimization and hurt him. and the response from a lot of film twitter seems to be to yell ITS NOT A BIOPIC and to say he doesnt understand the film (gross). i feel like i dont really care if its a biopic or not, when the film literally quoted vili/mary kay, recreated the mary kay in prison photo exactly, and both charles melton and julianne moore studied vili/mary kay for their performances. to hand wave that all as "not a biopic" feels like a way of writing off any discomfort. i feel like the film should not have made those specific choices, but having done so they had a duty of care to vili. i dont think the film that ended up getting made is worth the continued trauma to vili even if it is art. there were other ways they could have told the story to minimize the harm and they chose not to - and i dont think that choice is a great commentary on tabloids or whatever, its just a ghoulish thing to do

I did see that, anon, and I do have thoughts on it as it's a real grey area in terms of creative license, art and storytelling, and it's a grey area that's been around really since storytelling existed, but before I get into that I just want to quickly clarify what Vili said, because I do think it's important.

Vili didn't say that the film contributed to his victimisation and hurt him, he said the film offended him because it was a ripoff:

“I’m still alive and well,” says Fualaau, now 40 and still living in the Seattle area, where the scandal unfolded. “If they had reached out to me, we could have worked together on a masterpiece. Instead, they chose to do a ripoff of my original story. “I’m offended by the entire project and the lack of respect given to me — who lived through a real story and is still living it,” he adds.

“I love movies — good movies,” he says. “And I admire ones that capture the essence and complications of real-life events. You know, movies that allow you to see or realize something new every time you watch them. “Those kinds of writers and directors — someone who can do that — would be perfect to work with, because my story is not nearly as simple as this movie [portrays],” Fualaau adds.

The reason I think this distinction is an important one to make is because in interviews since Mary Kay Letourneau passing, it's pretty clear that Vili - while absolutely being a victim-survivor - doesn't see himself that way, and even says pretty specifically in his Doctor Oz interview from 2020 that he doesn't see her as a predator or himself as having been preyed on ('there was no perversion...she was my wife and my best friend' are his exact words), and he's pretty clearly open to the idea of a film being made about his story.

I'm not saying this to diminish his feelings about May December at all (I strongly believe that Vili is entitled to feel any and every which way about the film) or to patronise his own understanding of what he experienced - I can't even begin to imagine the complexity of trying to unpack the life he shared with her - but I think it's important to reflect his feelings accurately and to provide a little context to those feelings.

With that said, do I think the creative team should've reached out to Vili before making the film?

Honestly, I don't know.

I think it's one of those questions in art where there's not really a right answer. If Vili's feelings towards Mary Kay are still lost in the silver linings of her grooming, any film that has his direct approval or involvement is going to run the risk of tacit endorsement. It also hamstrings the creative team and opens them up in terms of liability (I actually was a writers assistant on a TV show a million years ago that was sort of a bio pic and I can tell you for a fact that it was a disaster once the person it was based on got involved), and, of course, it runs the risk of shifting the focus of the story the writer is wanting to tell.

And that's the thing about art, right? By design, art is supposed to reflect us back to ourselves in ways that we might not always be comfortable with. Of course, that usually happens less literally than in how Todd Haynes has used Vili and Mary Kay's stories, but not always. Todd Haynes is certainly no stranger to the technique given Velvet Goldmine is pretty transparently inspired by David Bowie and I'm Not There is often confused as a Bob Dylan bio pic despite the fact that it's actually not.

Hell, everyone loves that Succession points a pretty clear finger to the Murdoch's, and while, of course, the Murdoch's - and Bowie and Dylan for that matter - have social, political and economic power that Vili doesn't which does impact the ethics of the decision, it's still made under the same creative ideology that aspects of a real story can render an artwork, a story, a film more emotionally authentic, can create greater resonance, can offer a sharper reflection of the world we live in and offer, perhaps, a message or a question that lingers.

All of this has actually kind of been funny timing as I just finished reading Sarah Weinman's The Real Lolita the other day which is a really excellent blend of true crime, literary history and critical commentary on this exact topic. The book explores the real life case of Sally Horner who was kidnapped by a pedophile in 1948 when she was 11 years old and was forced to roadtrip with him around America for two years. It's actually mentioned in passing in Nabokov's Lolita, but once you go a little deeper it's pretty clear how much of Horner and her story Nabokov used to create Dolores Haze / Lolita.

In the book, Weinnman asks the question as to why Lolita gets to be remembered when Sally's been left to obscurity, and of course, the answer is that there are other Sally's in the news cycle, but only one Lolita in art, and that hopefully in her writing Sally Horner's story she can write her back into bookshelves and place her back into this artwork but who knows if that's what Sally would've wanted (Sarah does, at least, talk to Sally's lone surviving family member, and makes a measure to show that it's very unlikely Nabokov ever did the same).

Was Nabokov wrong for not seeking out Sally's family for Lolita? Honestly, I doubt it even would've occured to him to do so, and the fact that we do now ask questions like this about the ethics of inspiration is, I think, a good thing. We should be critical of how stories are told and who is, and isn't, involved in the telling of them, but again, I don't actually think there are right or wrong answers here.

Fiction is always inspired by real people, real events, real life, it's a part of creation, it's a part of capturing a moment in time, it's about reflection and authenticity, but of course that's been rendered more complex in recent years by the fact that we live in a world that's ever shrinking and the people or the events that inspire new stories are inevitably brought into the public narrative in a way they just weren't back in 1955 when Lolita was first published.

So what does that mean for creativity and inspiration? I don't know, but personally I guess my thoughts would be that Vili is absolutely in his rights to be offended by the film, but I also don't think the filmmakers were wrong necessarily to not reach out. It's not the most ethical choice, but I also don't think it was an inherently bad one either. This isn't a Blonde situation where they write fiction and present it as fact, the creatives have been clear about it being inspried by what happened between Mary Kay and Vili, but they're also not saying Vili and Mary Kay are Joe and Gracie.

I appreciate you feeling like it's much of a muchness though given how they've apparently lifted entire scenes of dialogue. It's a murky question after all, and it's certainly one that's more complex when it comes to people like Vili and Sally than it is with the Murdoch's or even David Bowie, but yes, I'm not sure I see it as something inherently wrong, and I don't personally think it was ghoulish. I just think the specifics of this particular case just kind of shows how the sausage is made when it comes to storytelling.

[jakesangel]

hey i love your blog and your writting is amazing, i just wanted to say unless you're black, i find it really weird and uncomfortable that you use black people's faces and memes as reactions so often. truthfully this is only me going off of your recent jake smu (very cute, i will be keeping up with it, as i said, i love your work)

please do ask yourself what is so funny about these black faces compared to other meme faces? why do you feel so comfortable using black faces as comedic relief?

i dont know if i'm articulating it very well. it would help if you looked into digital blackface, in fact i would strongly recommend it

anyways i hope you're well and you take on my ask with an open mind xo

i usually don't asnwer ask right when i wake up but this one is crazy. i've been victim of racism on this account and been deleted the hate ask since for the past weeks because i am black. i'm sure u can try to find out if i'm black or not by looking into my profile. it's literally one click on the pin and the first few words would have prevent you to write this much. and as a black person this isn't even that deep. meme are just meme and i literally type [emotion] meme face and pick whatever come first. i do believe the least that you can do is to search a little before asking such question, specially such easy access information ( it's not like you're asking what physic is but just someone skin color ).

[svedupelle]

the random antisemitism on my dash from you fucking blew, that post literally has someone saying death to jews in the notes

Im guessing this is the post ur talking about and that this is the comment u mean

(if not, and someone somewhere in the tags said word for word "death to jews", then i didnt spot it. But more importantly, you understand that i am not responsible for that person writing those words, right? and that i may have reblogged that post not because of what some rando said in the tags that i didnt check beforehand, but because of what the post is actually about? which is the state of Isr*el's continued atrocities against palestinians, and more specifically the morbid humor in some random isr*elian on the internet being blind to the real extent of their nations descent into despotism and violence? Just so we're clear about the subject matter of the post)

Anyway. so if that is indeed the comment ur saying meant to say death to jews, then it would seem ur confused about something. Namely zionism *isn't* the same thing as judaism. let's start with the fucking dictionary:

So merriam-webster agrees with me that being a zionist is not the same as being jewish. And quite frankly, it can't be, since unless if we want to posit that gentiles have an inherent and innate opposition to the jewish people having a nation of their own, then it must be possible and true that gentiles can also support a nation of Isr*el, and therefore, can be zionists. And I don't personally believe that not being jewish inherently makes you hateful of jews and opposed to a peaceful existence alongside and together with them. I doubt you do either, considering.

So, we've basically already established that being a zionist does not automatically make one jewish, which means that calling for the death of all zionists does not mean you are calling for the death of all jews.

On the other hand, it would make sense for a lot of zionists to *be* jewish, thus meaning that you are calling for the death of, if not all, then at a least a lot of jews. Now i hate pedophiles. IF we were to imagine a world where 60% of pedophiles were jewish, and i said i think pedophiles should die, i do not believe it would be antisemitic, because i would arguing for the death of pedophiles *regardless* of a majority of them being jewish. Similiarly, the person calling for the death of all zionists is probably doing so independantly of a lot of zionists being jews (maybe, i didnt check to see if there are any statistics on that and im not about to, because this is mostly hypothetical anyway).

"But 'zionist' is just a dogwhistle for jewish, so they do mean death to all jews!"

Then let's take a look at the first part of their comment: "death to the illegal settler colonial state of Isr*el"

now im no expert. but i do believe they may be referring to the aforementioned atrocities and the current apartheid that palestinians endure under the rule of Isr*el. Personally i find it reasonable and to some degree expected of people to condemn these acts. Maybe calling for the death of living people is extreme, but either way, i dont think this person is calling for the death of jews, specifically.

Or maybe they are. Maybe the person in the notes is a big antisemite. I dont know. I dont feel like digging through their blog to check. What I do feel more strongly about is the fact that you worded your ask in a way that suggests you know me, since you expect better from me. Whether ur a follower or a mutual, it makes me incredibly sad that you felt the need to send this through anon instead of a dm. maybe its intimidating or something, but getting this ask doesnt feel like a dialogue, it just feels rude. u didnt even greet me first

i'll make it clear: i have no ill will towards jews. at all. i very much want for all jews across the world and especially in my country to be able to live their lives free from the prejudice, hatred and trauma that they may suffer as a result of antisemitism at the hands of people like myself. i dont know how to make this clearer

i do not support the nation of isr*el. i dont like its actions, i dont like its leaders. i am a firm believer in the fact that until the nakba ends, there will never be a worthy argument for the nation's continued existence. and i do not like how people intentionally misconstrue criticisms of it as antisemitic to condemn the critic, such as what you are doing.

The fact that you seem to be familiar with me annoys me. i despise letting people down. i always do my best not to do so, and always wish to be reliable. but you're annoying. so either dm me if you want to have a real discussion, or block me. read this before you go though, its somewhat interesting. now fuck off

[themoodyestj]

Do you not understand boys or men ? 💀 boys make sexual jokes all the time💀 my younger brother does it, and so does many other boys it’s fucking common and it also doesn’t mean that they will actually do it or it will happen. If you are so fucking sensitive get get the fuck out of the fandom and let J2m Stan’s have fan and enjoy the the actors 💀

Honey, I was going to answer you in kind this morning, but you know what? I wont. It's clear that if youre not a child, youre something very close to it (at least mentally), and Im not going to be cruel to you just because youre young and naive. You have your time to learn things. But in the meantime, let me get you a few words of advice, with all the love in my heart.

If you are who I think you are, I've seen your blog. I kept away from your inbox or comments. I'm a huge believer of live and let live, I have never went to someone's blog to comment or insult. You do not seem like the person who can take it if someone bites back, so I would advise you to stay in your lane and stay cool. I may not agree with you, but I use respect. Unless of course, people disrespect me. I strongly advise you, do not take my kindness for weakness. If you read my blog, you know I am able to dish back very easily. I dont think you have the mental fortitude to take it.

So just...stay in your lane, ok? If you noticed, I only write inside my blog and I'm very easy to block. Go enjoy your fandom, have your fun, dont get in battles you cant win. More than an anti-Misha or anti-Danneel blog, I am an anti-fanaticism blog. Read my villain origin story. I dont like people feeling entitled to attack others just because of a fave. Faves get paid for the good and the bad, they can cry about my or your posts in their very expensive cars, we do not. Also, in the meantime, something to read and maybe meditate upon:

[just-a-carrot]

Helloooo!!! I was looking for inspo for my own visual novel a little while back, it's set in a ballroom so eventually the keywords lead me to discovering save the last dance (and itch.io in general im a total noob to this lmao) i dont know what it was but it just like took a vice grip around me INSTANTLYY.

So I downloaded the main game today and I am actually silently cursing you because I got nothing done all day I was just like transfixed. The artstyle grew on me alot, and oh godd the character designs... God I love the designs, espcially Genzhou's. There's just so much love (even in every gruesome death scene lol) put into this it's almost difficult not to get obssesed...

Also sidenote I found it kind of encouraging almost to see that you're (self-proclaimed) older, I found that really inspirational lol. There's something that just makes me want to create and actually sit down and learn when I play your games. I guess I've always had this feeling of having all the time in the world but recently I've been feeling almost like it's too late to learn new skills (which is kind if ridicolius since I'm like smack dab in the middle of gen z). Regardless I guess your work made me realize the artistry in visual novels, I could keep going but I tend to ramble lol

ahhhhhhhh this is so sweet!! i got very weepy reading this, especially as i'm already feeling quite soft today as it was a bit of an anxious one... 😭💕

that's fascinating that you found StLD first searching for ballroom stuff!! i am always curious how people first find out about any of my games. i'm happy you enjoyed it, especially enough to go play the main game sob. i'm incredibly touched

and i'm even more touched that you've been enjoying the main game so much 😭💕💕💕 especially all the kind words about the art!! i've grown more confident in my art more recently but especially in the beginning stages of the game i was incredibly self-conscious and worried about it because it was rather odd-looking and didn't match any other typical VN styles. so that's really sweet of you to say. this game certainly has had a lot of love put into it (and blood, sweat, tears, my entire life... etc.). it is very much a big passion project and my eyes were perhaps too big when i got started, but because it dug itself so deep into my psyche and i also made some good decisions like releasing in parts, etc., i've been able to keep working on it until the end despite it taking me like 2.5+ years so far. i'm not even sure i can put into words what this game and chars have done for me and my life and the many journeys and discoveries i've made along the way

dkjfalsdkf yes... i am a millenial, i will say that much. though i don't often feel like one. except for the fact that i often have no idea what people are talking about or referencing and tend to be awkward and confused most of the time LOL this is also why my characters are all older, as well. i sometimes feel a bit strange since i feel much older than many of the others in the VN dev sphere (well, perhaps in age only, not really in mental maturity maybe LKDJAFLKDS). if this can give inspiration to others that are also a bit older though, then i am glad 🤣 i have spent much of my life going from thing to thing and never really knowing exactly what i want to do. case in point my current job has nothing to do with my master's degree. though the one constant has always been creation of some kind, whether it's drawing or writing (and now with games, doing both of those on top of scripting and coding and a bajillion other things lol). i don't think you should ever feel "too old" to do something. or to get started doing something. or to feel like you "haven't done enough" etc. i say this so strongly because i also try to reassure myself sometimes perhaps LOL it's also ok if you don't know what you want to do so you're just trying out different ideas that you're passionate about. so many of us just wanna find something that makes us feel fulfilled and passionate, that makes our hearts ache, that fills us with joy and motivation. so if you can find something that does that for you, no matter how old you are, grab it and don't ever let go lkdajfalskd

at any rate, i'm glad i could also help you discover more about VNs in general. i hope it will be helpful as you work on your own games!!! 💕

[wander-wren]

do anyone else’s thoughts come almost exclusively through the lens of like, writing? like there was a poll going around about whether you think in first/second/third person

i was just laying in bed thinking about stuff that happened tonight and the way i did that was by mentally holding the conversation i would have with three other people about it (bouncing between them) and then writing a tumblr post about it, and then also writing THIS tumblr post as i started thinking about this. even when i was a little kid i would frequently think in the third person, as a narrator of the story of my life. i can’t remember if ive always done this—it also applies to me thinking via imagining irl conversations and journaling, so maybe i just did that before i got into writing. maybe i spend too much time online. maybe this is normal and i’m misunderstanding how other people think

the only times i really dont think in the “hypothetical future conversations” format is if im thinking about/remembering what i’ll call a strongly sensory experience. more feelings/images than words. sometimes there are both at once

am i normal or insane for this one chat

[mihai-florescu]

i also told half my friends about that poll and it was like, kind of doubly insulting of a comparison because i watched II when i was like 13 and am actually familiar with it. and it getting so many votes was kinda shocking to me (beyond the size/prominence of enstars' fandom playing a part) because 1. i still thought object shows were relatively niche or obscure and didnt know there were enough fans to give it so many votes in the first place and 2. the entire story is constructed so badly that there isn't even like a story to talk about. if you asked me about the plot of II i'd have to explain the history behind its existence and then how there is no concrete plot because the writers are hobbyists who don't know how to make a comprehensive story. it's so bad, it was already bad enough but then sometime way in they introduced a plotline about a corn version of steve jobs stealing alien eggs to fuel his iphone production line. his name is steve cobbs. this was meant to be a total drama esque show, what are the writers on?

anyway i dont have to explain to you how greatly interesting wataei is but i hope you know my pain at that poll. discussing enstars is getting to talk about themes and ideas and how they interplay and contrast and parallel between characters, it's stuff you can chew on. discussing inanimate insanity is just talking about the 3 simultaneous ideas they had for a show that they tried to write and failed horribly each on an individual level and also it all just clashing egregiously in tone. they wrote an entire spinoff alternative show because they knew they couldn't salvage it and were sick of making it.

so yeah even as a former fan of inanimate insanity in my childhood they just ... it's not a comparison you can meaningfully make, it's like comparing a delicious pudding to nickelodeon gak. you can do it but what's the point? they aren't the same thing, you have to talk about each in a totally different way.

also lightbrush isn't even canon because there are no romance plotlines in II (thank god). i really shouldnt have felt so strongly about the poll as i did

It's all such a fever dream of an event... but i somehow feel like the enstars fandom on tumblr is very small compared to other social medias (good. Well, either this or i live in my beautiful bubble of very lovely followers & very lovely people i follow. It's most likely the latter). Yet i cant imagine it's smaller than the ii one... but i remember it breached containment and ii fans were promoting it on twitter. At some point it became less of a "looking at it objectively" and more of a "we should win because...we should?" on both sides. For us it actually made sense tho. Were the lightbrush fans writing thousands of words and bringing dozens of screenshots to compile a measly showcase of maybe 10% of their ship's canon relevancy like i was? (Or we were, probably, i dont think i was the only one but i only focused on doing My Part, didnt really look at what others were doing. My discord name is still "brave wataei warrior" to this day after that event) No. They couldnt. We all knew that. Which is why the whole thing was baffling and infuriating. They just wanted to win for the sake of winning something despite the objective evidence. Haha lack of objectivity in the object show fandom *badum tss* thank you thank you im here all day.

[literaphobe]

Okay I love marinette and this story but somethign that really enraged me was the fact that marinette was planning to never tell Adrien about ANYTHING regarding his family and birth. And what made it worse is that it’s been what ? 8 /9 years ?! And he had to find this stuff on his own. I’m really curious thought about what he learned through the years and how ( I’m assuming ladybug told him some stuff as Chat ) and I’m sure that really must have been difficult for him , just finding more and more stuff . No wonder he would get drunk to the point of having no memory the next day. Anyways this chapter was so fun and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it

HI ANON. Part of ur rage is meant to be felt. the other half is a question: why HASNT tvl marinette told him anything? and why CAN’T she? or why does she feel so strongly about not doing so?

I took this screenshot and highlighted that word for a friend a few days ago, so im just using it here again. anyway, tvl is FULL of ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ moments. of course, even if you DONT blink and you DONT miss, at this point, there’s a lot of stuff none of you know for sure. i described it as double dramatic irony in some random comment reply iirc, but essentially, there’s stuff the readers know that the characters don’t (love square identity shenanigans), but there’s ALSO stuff the characters know that the readers don’t (events that occurred over the 8 or so years between s5’s end and tvl’s timeline)

so there’s like a LOT that you’ll wonder about and hypothesize about. loads of questions to ask. and will all of them be answered? who knows. ANYWAY. for now, i hope this is something fun to chew over hehehehehehe

also, tvl adrichat not remembering stuff from when he drinks is just a Thing that happens when he drinks. he doesn’t get blackout drunk often or anything. if you’ve noticed, tvl love square aren’t depicted drinking very often. they DO drink, they have on occasion, it’s just not super often. THEN AGAIN ur perfectly welcome to headcanon that he does! i often write things that are open for the audience’s interpretation, so you are all welcome to interpret ❤️