#in my yearning era as per usual

[yearning-butch]

Posting at 3-4am when no one will see it is so silly

[yanderes-galore]

Can I request a Steven universe ask where a gem who sings, and since it's valentines day, it starts to sing love songs and acts like it's in love. But the gem is a really good actor, that's why it feels and How would Steven and spinel react to this

I'll do some short concepts for this as it's meant to be one character per ask. I couldn't tell if you meant sharing or not. I tried to write how I read your ask so I hope I did what you wanted/you like my take.

Here's a really late valentine's themed ask as usual, lmfao.... I probably should have prioritized these.

Yandere! Steven + Spinel with Singer Gem! Darling

Short Concept/Reaction

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Delusional behavior, Stalking mention, Violence implied, Kidnapping implied, Slight manipulation, Poor mental health, Forced relationship.

You are meant to be a Gem entertainer.

Your job is similar to that of a Spinel or a Pearl.

You're not that high in the Gem caste and are meant to sing songs in shows for the Diamonds.

At least... that was your job prior to Era 3.

Now you sing songs for everyone, it makes you happy.

As a Gem living on Earth you've been learning from humans around you.

It turns out today is a holiday meant for "love".

To attract more to your show you begin learning songs for this holiday.

It just so happens while you sing... your songs seem to attract your yandere.

They're already so delusional about you they're convinced you're singing about them.

As a result... you get your taste of twisted love this Valentine's Day.

⭐️Steven Universe (AU after Future)⭐️

Steven has been watching your shows for awhile.

In Beach City you perform concerts to keep the citizens in a good mood.

It's not like you get tired, either.

You sing because you're happy fulfilling your purpose like a lot of other Gems.

He's a bit nervous at the fact he's fallen for you....

He knows he shouldn't be rebounding from Connie... yet he guesses he can't help it.

The young man shows up to your shows each time to hear you sing.

Steven has admittedly been feeling upset about this time of year due to his breakup and mental health.

Valentine's Day... a day of love.

Not in the right state of mind he finds himself wandering to your newest concert.

A Valentine's Day Concert.

Safe to say while he listened to you singing love songs like a radio he let his delusions take over.

When you sang... it really sounded as though you were in love.

Steven's been watching you to the point his obsession is pretty solid.

He wonders if you've noticed him....

Did you feel the same about him?

Maybe you picked him out from the crowd and dedicated your songs this time to him.

He must be your favorite...!

To anyone else this would be an insane conclusion.

However, Steven is not in the best mental state.

You have no idea about his feelings.

You're completely unaware about the new stalker and savior of the universe obsessed with you.

He's convinced that your singing is genuine and that you're yearning for him.

Steven decides that he has to confess to you today.

Sure, you may be a bit new to love, but he'll guide you!

Once the concert finishes Steven leaves to buy flowers of your Gem color and metal jewelry.

He tries his best to choose what goes well with you.

By the end of the night, Steven finds himself on the doorstep of the house you're staying at.

When you open the door you're left perplexed.

"I- um... I came after hearing your songs-"

Not knowing Steven's intent, you let him in.

You have no idea about his feelings portrayed in the gifts...

You also have no idea he'll poof you if you reject his advances.

"Happy Valentine's Day... I got you these!"

💖Spinel (Future)💖

Spinel is also a Gem meant for entertainment!

She's meant to be more of a jester while you're a singer, however.

There's been times she's wanted to do an act with you!

All the humans here love you.

She thinks up at Homeworld you'll be loved among the Diamonds!

It was sort of your old job, anyways....

Spinel probably fell for you in a similar way to Steven.

She's seen your shows for awhile now and fell for you and your voice.

Spinel herself isn't sure about Valentine's Day just like you.

A day to celebrate love just isn't in Gem culture.

Even if it was, she's been isolated since Pink left her in the garden....

Spinel has healed more by the time she's met you but still can't grasp proper love.

Although, when she hears her new favorite Gem is holding a concert for this special day in human culture she has to go.

Spinel is struggling to understand the love songs you sing but she feels they're meant for her.

She can't help but fall for the words that flow out of your mouth.

She may not be ready to love another again... but your song is like a siren's call.

She thinks with you it'll be safe to give things another shot.

Spinel spends some time on Earth after the concert to immerse herself in the way humans celebrate this holiday.

Maybe the two of you can create a Gem way to celebrate?

You continue to sing as normal to your fans while Spinel listens to every note you chirp.

The Gem plans on taking you to Homeworld with her to perform together... like those in love would do...!

You're unaware of her plans until she surprises you with cards, balloons, flowers, etc....

She grabbed what she could to show her feelings, even if you're still trying to understand.

"Hey there! Heard your songs, felt we should do a little CELEBRATION! Together, y'know? ... well?"

Spinel is very eager to show how she feels towards you.

Confused, you go along with it.

It's fun with her which is expected, Spinel is meant to be fun.

All of this is meant to lure you in and prepare you for Spinel's main plan.

She wants to get you off this planet and to Homeworld where she can show you how much she loves you.

"We're having so much fun! I knew you loved me...."

[rachaelrobin4]

ignoring the fact that I didn’t recap ep 7, let’s get into episode 8:

guys I just love love 😔 this was an episode of soft moments and intimacy that only jimmy and sea can give me.

them in their wedding outfits made me yearn for a historical drama (which i’ve been low key manifesting for gmmtv 2024 since NLMG our skky 2)

what’s tea with night pls how many times do I have to ask??? give me the deets now!!!

who is this dad and why do we care? and i never thought I’d say this as a phojai gee girl but where’s phojai night? I need my 2nd mark dad era of the year. Is he the straight bl dad of gmmtv?

Brief interlude:

i was thinking about why i love these two so much and have since VV and i couldn’t articulate it until now. they are just so committed to their roles and acting. like they want to tell these stories authentically and genuinely, which you can feel through the screen. it’s never lazy or half assed, and it brings a softness and vulnerability to all their characters. you can see their care and investment, with a little bit of themselves bleeding into day/mohk/puen/talay. that’s also why they are the BL dads of my heart!! its the natural tendency to take care of others (whether it’s each other, their characters, their friends, literal patients for our doc, or the kids gmmtv refuses to given them).

they are perfect and I’ll forever adore them!!

anyway, i laughed, i cried, and squealed as per usual. they are my everything.

sense of the week is yet again touch. how can it not be when these boyfriends are involved? P’Aof loves a good hand shot

[nirnrootic]

i'm in a kinda ship-orientated mood, so i'm gonna post these little spiels regarding romantically shipping with all of my muses ❤

SHIPPING WITH EROS.

he is gay and grey-aro. the prospect of romance winds him taut; he's fine faking it, he's in fact happy faking it and he has on a number of occasions, but the sheer vulnerability of caring for someone so deeply that you'd do almost anything to protect them? that scares him. he likes being in rigid control of his emotions, and so having that taken out of his hands and placed into a form that induces palpitations and adoration? absolutely loathes the idea of it.

eros has, during the course of his multi-millennia life, been caught up in a number of marriages. sometimes, he saw opportunity (money, power, comfortable living, etc.) and he would wind them around his finger again and again, tell them he adores them, loves them, and simultaneously be ready to cease the beating of their heart if they dared encroach his boundaries. so, yes, faking romance isn't foreign to him.

he's fine with flings, or friends with benefits, as well. in fact, this is far more likely than a genuine romance with him.

SHIPPING WITH SOLOS.

he is bisexual, he has a preference for women (especially dunmer) though he won't snub if he's interested in a man. he yearns for romantic connection, but he isn't desperate for it. he won't chase a tail that he barely sneaks a peek at. it takes time and chemistry.

part of solos believes himself unworthy for love. part of solos believes himself too ugly or too old for love. this is tied in tautly with the complication of his late wife being murdered because of his own hubris during his morag tong era. he still mourns her, grieves for her, and struggles to separate himself from the self-hatred that simmers beneath his coil for daring let that happen. he knows he needs to move on from that reality, crying nor yelling nor beating himself up will bring her back. but he does hope that reminiscing on her will prevent himself from letting it happen again.

he isn't overly good with separating sex from romance. if he does have sex, they're usually one night stands; someone that he'll see for the night and not see again. he doesn't think he'd be good, per se, at friends with benefits, because he feels like he's the kind to develop feelings over time in those repeated intimate scenarios.

SHIPPING WITH MIRVON.

mirvon ... isn't quite sure of his sexuality. he doesn't think he's figured himself out fully, in that respect, because of how emotionally constipated he is, crudely put, about romance. he's quick to harbour crushes, though he's also similarly quick to try and smother them until they are naught but a bygone whisper.

he's exceptionally nervous, with a plethora of nervous tics, and he doesn't see himself as being a good sexual partner in any capacity. partially because he has no experience, partially because he has only a small sex drive, partially because his genital abnormalities. his history with romance and sex is complicated, immensely so, and he vehemently thinks himself too grotesque to ever warrant someone liking him back.

there's a reason he conceals himself wholly.

SHIPPING WITH CELEGIL.

she is bisexual. despite her fire, her vulgarity, her flippantness, she's a romantic at heart. wholehearted romantic gestures will get her looking like a ripe tomato. even if they're cheesy as hell. flower bouquet? rose petals leading to a candle-lit bed? cooking her favourite meal? well, you better have a mop ready, because she's about to melt.

she's had a handful of romantic relationships, some heartbreaks, some mutual agreements, but doesn't let her former experiences taint her future prospects. she's quite the optimist! present and future focused.

probably my least traumatised in terms of romantic and / or sexual ship potential!

SHIPPING WITH NEHT.

neht has a somewhat complicated relationship with the idea of ... relationships nowadays. previously, he thought himself bisexual through and through—now, he's not quite too sure. admittedly, it's not something that plagues his mind too often—if much at all. he has too much on his plate, both past and present, to consider himself strained by the mere notion of a label.

during his youth, he was very much what one would consider a playboy. he was frivolous, he was charming; some of his friends would even taunt him with the nickname bed bandit due to the sheer amount of times he'd be found in some stranger's sheets.

he had a very, very high sex drive and, besides, someone's bed meant he wasn't sleeping on the streets.

nowadays he's ... a bit more reserved with both romantic and sexual endeavours. partly because of his harrowing experiences as the nerevarine during the prophecy, they've sharpened his shell and whetted his tongue; partly because he just doesn't feel like it matters as much as in his youth. he was lonely in his youth, he so desperately wanted affections and love—and now? now, he just likes his own company. he likes being alone. he wouldn't kick up a royal fuss about falling for someone, but it surely isn't something he's bursting at the seams to actively find himself.

SHIPPING WITH ERDEN.

do you want to ship with the mer that's gradually morphing into dagoth ur? really? the dude that is actively trying to disease the entirety of tamriel? are you sure. are you sure. are you s

[rushingheadlong]

Hey guys! I’ve mentioned a few times that I did an October fic-writing challenge, and I’ve been posting some of the better results of that over on AO3! My original intention was to cross-post them all here as well but as I talked about in a recent ask I lost the motivation to do that.

So instead, here’s a link to the entire collection! And I’ve included a full list of the fics with summaries below as well if you want to get an idea of what I’ve been writing before clicking through to AO3.

Wanna Be Beside You Now (**posted here as well**)

♪ Jimercury, smut, phone sex, ~800 words ♪ Jim receives a call one night when Freddie is away.

A Postmortem Education

♪ Gen, dissection, mild gore, ~500 ♪ Roger muses on an unexpected part of his coursework.

The Truth is in the Cards

♪ Gen (or Brian/Roger/Freddie), fluff & humor, Smile era, tarot, ~600 ♪ Freddie has a new hobby, Brian indulges him, and Roger thinks the whole thing is complete nonsense.

What My Heart Just Yearns to Say (**posted here as well**)

♪ Brian/Anita, fluff and mild H/C, present-day, ~1100 ♪ Brian has never been one to care about fashion but despite his “unique” outfit choices, Anita still loves him anyway.

Morning Routines

♪ Brian/Roger/Freddie, fluff, Smile era, ~500 ♪ It’s only on the weekends that they push their single beds together, after everyone else has left to go to some gig or else is simply drunk enough not to notice what goes on in the front bedroom. And it’s only because their beds are pushed together that Brian’s alarm clock, usually within easy reach, is far away on the other side of the room.

Now You Must Be Strong (**posted here as well**)

♪ Brian/trans-m!Reader, mild smut, accidental stimulation, ~1200 ♪ You didn't mean to rile Brian up after his show... but you can’t say that you’re upset with the turn the night takes.

Gachapon Luck

♪ Brian/John, fluff, ~900 ♪ Every time Queen is in Japan, Brian gravitates towards the colorful vending machines and their array of little trinkets. John doesn’t share his boyfriend’s obsession with the gachapon but he humors him anyway.

London Rental Opportunity of the Week (1st chapter written in October, 3 more chapters added)

♪ Gen (future John/Veronica), humor, modern AU, ~4000 total (1k per chapter) ♪ They all know that they won’t be living in the lap of luxury while Queen is just starting out… but, surely, there has to be better rental options than these.

Or: The Queen boys somehow manage to find what might just be the worst flats in London, and do their best to make it work.

[aion-rsa]

Riverdale Season 5 Episode 7 Review – Chapter 83: Fire in the Sky

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Riverdale meets The X-Files in a bizarre, hilarious outing.

This RIVERDALE review contains spoilers.

Riverdale Season 5 Episode 7

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“Something very strange happened in Riverdale last night.”

It’s increasingly difficult to review Riverdale because this remains a show that has transcended criticism.

To be blunt, it just does not give a single fuck. Not that it has to at this point.

We’re not even ten episodes into the series’ fifth season yet and the sheer volume of things happening right now is whiplash inducing. This latest episode featured, ahem, UFOs, serial killers, art forgery, irresponsible firefighting, ham-fisted commentary on contemporary issues ranging from fiscal crises to veterans suffering from PTSD, and a dance off. I’m sure I missed something just there, but that’s forgivable seeing how Riverdale remains a show that jarringly transitions from one increasingly inexplicable plotline to the next, pausing only when it deems fit to throw in a baffling musical montage.

So as someone whose job it is to parse the subjective quality of the show, installments like the one that just aired make such a task a fool’s errand. I mean seriously, how can you even begin to sum up such an experience other than to sigh, and get started on the confounding work that lies ahead?

This episode made me feel simultaneously concussed and giddy. Was it a great episode? Or a terrible one? With Riverdale who can even tell anymore, and that’s probably the whole point. I’ll tell you this though, it was ridiculously entertaining.

There’s nothing as daringly go-for-broke that the series’ has attempted before as the current Jughead storyline. A failure as a writer, he has resorted to working at Pop’s (is he even teaching at Riverdale High anymore?) and drinking his days away. Oh yeah, he’s also immersed in the sort of psuedo-scientific happenings that are the stuff of a Leonard Nimoy In Search Of… fever dream currently plaguing his community.

Since Riverdale doesn’t believe in understating anything, Jug is investigating Mothmen and UFO’s now. Let that sink in for a moment. Clearly the producers are going for a The X-Files thing here, even if its maple syrup-drenched stank is more of the Baywatch Nights sci-fi variety. But I digress. As with everything in 2021, it’s unclear exactly what the hell is happening here. It is established here through a charming flashback featuring 1970s Pop Tate that the town has a heretofore unrevealed supernatural past. Maybe Tabitha is right, as Jughead’s UFO experience was just a result of his budding alcoholism. But you just know that this is all leading to some big science fiction reveal, and you should know how much this thrills me given what website you are reading these words on.

The only problem with the Jughead storyline right now is it takes us into “how you gonna keep ’em down on the farm once you’ve they’ve seen Karl Hungus?” territory by immediately making anything else that happens in this episode/on TV this week woefully dull by comparison. The Swedlow Swamp bodies and Betty’s fear of the return of the Trash Bag Killer as well as the Veronica Lodge equivalent of The Big Short featured here are great…and immediately undercut narratively by the fact that there’s a MAPLE DRENCHED MOTHMAN SKELETON chilling in Pop’s backroom. In any other episode I’d be swooning. Here though they are swept away in Jughead’s riptide of science fiction insanity.

As for the other plot developments, the Vixens saga is only interesting in that it sets the stage for the inevitable Choni romantic reunion. Archie’s firefighting crusade is just the latest manifestation of his messiah complex. Again, these things happened in an episode that featured an extended Close Encounters of the Third Kind homage, so yeah, no.

The biggest problem with Riverdale remains its divide and conquer strategy when it comes to its storytelling: Busying characters with their own detached plots that may or may not intertwine fully eventually. Sticking the landing hasn’t really been accomplished gracefully since the first season finale. Which isn’t to say that plate-spinning isn’t a beautiful thing to watch sometimes, especially when said plates are smeared with the maple-soaked skin of decaying Mothmen.

Keep getting stranger and dumber, Riverdale. You magnificent bastard. Let’s get weird.

Riverdale Rundown

• In case you think that UFO’s are a bit much, even for this show, let me remind you that the original Archie comics are an absolute hotbed of alien abduction storylines.

• This episode features an appearance by Katy Keene supporting character Bernardo Bixby (Ryan Faucett) as Archie’s firefighting mentor. Although the CW may be done with that specific corner of the Archieverse, it’s a welcome sight to see figures from that show popping up in Riverdale. And indeed on Riverdale.

• It occurred to me that this series still has yet to feature a cover of Elvis Costello’s “Veronica.” Shocking.

• Jacker Cracks are the lastest in Riverdale‘s long line of glorious fake products.

• As per usual, Cheryl delivers the episode’s best line: “I’ve seen a porcelain doll possessed by my dead brother move faster than you lot.”

• It bears repeating, Veronica is a terrible teacher.

• Nurse Nightingale is in the employ of Riverdale High School. Naturally.

• This show’s licensees need to release Riverdale High School mugs and Pop Tate bobbleheads ASAP.

• We learn that during Archie’s army service overseas he mistook a wolf for a dog and was subsequently mauled. Classic Archie!

• So what is Mr. Lodge’s “endgame” hinted at here tonight? My bet is that it involves working with the military on whatever testing/Mothman shenanigans they are involved with.

• Only in Riverdale for five minutes and Eric Jackson (Sommer Carbuccia) already has Hiram’s number, summarizing him as “another fat cat trying to line his pockets by gaming the system.”

• Point to ponder: Are the bodies turning up in Swedlow Swamp related to the Trash Bag Killer’s murder spree, or is this merely an anxiety-inducing red herring for Betty?

• Pop’s yearning for “the lights to come back” was weirdly heartbreaking.

• Am I the only one yearning for a Nana Rose/Dr. Curdle Jr. spin-off?

• Next week: Riverdale holds a key party! Don’t ever forget we are living in an era of peak television.

The post Riverdale Season 5 Episode 7 Review – Chapter 83: Fire in the Sky appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3cpgvAO

[highgaarden]

KC + THIS EXCESS COMPANY + alexithymia

alexithymia (n) the inability to express your feelings // just an extra scene for ‘This Excess Company’! 

.

.

 The question is brought up at Sunday brunch. 

Caroline isn’t as appalled about the Question as much as she is the fact that she has turned into the sort of person who looks forward to Sunday brunch.

Damon sort of snorts, “Blondie, you have always been—“

The table shudders, and suddenly Damon’s wincing, face purple, as Klaus smiles placidly beside him. “Imagine that, sweetheart.”

“Cream puffs! And the Belgian waffles, have you tried the Belgian waffles?” Caroline asks, manically replenishing everyone’s faces.

“I would love some more,” Stefan says after a beat. His plate already has four on them. Klaus finishes off his own plate and only smiles when Caroline flicks another one into it.

Enzo clears his throat. He doesn’t know why he’s been invited, and shifts in his seat. He doesn’t even know why he’d come, but Caroline hadn’t responded to any of his emails, angry knocks, or even letters he’d had to disguise as fanmail to get her to read. All he knows is that he’d finally ran into her in the hall, and she’d all but shoved him inside.

“Right,” Enzo says, eyeing everyone at the table. “So my question remains: will the lease for your apartment be kept under your name, or will it be transferred to— ”

“Has anyone tried the Orange Blossom honey?” Caroline upends half the jar onto Kol’s stack.

 “—Will it be transferred to—,” Enzo tries again—

 There’s a ding of the oven.

 “The pie’s ready!”

 “There’s pie?” Kol enthuses, his mouth full. “What filling?”

 “Of course, Caroline is ever the hostess,” Klaus says adoringly.

 “Apple and raspberry—”

 “—please, Gorgeous, the paperwork on this took me half the night—” Enzo pleads.

 “—I’ve tasted the custard cream that goes with the pie this morning, and it was absolutely divine—”

 “Gag!” Rebekah yells from across the balcony, because of course Klaus would make his adoration of Caroline vocal, and loud at that.

 “Don’t be rude!” Klaus volleys back.

 This is Damon’s time—he’s heard the not-so-rumours that Klaus can get Camille to put anything he wants in the script, and he so desperately wants to die this season, but maybe in a car crash, or something. Off screen, so he doesn’t have to show up to work, thanks. His only in is probably with Klaus, and he’d shared this secret with Stefan, who got so offended that Damon had managed to scheme over his head that he’d taken Stefan and stayed away the entire weekend.

 And so Damon yells, vehemently: “Shut your mouth, rude-ass bitch!”

 Everyone stops their attempt at overlapping conversations and stares.

 Damon sighs and backtracks. “All right, I may have gotten too method.”

 Klaus narrows his eyes, all sweet pretence gone, ready to go to war for his sister. “Method for what?”

 “I want to die,” Damon points out.

 “That can be arranged,” Klaus says, whipping out his phone.

 “On our show!” Damon cries exasperatedly. “I don’t think I have to point this out every time, Klaus. We know what your tattoo means.”

 “Oh,” Klaus says, a bit put out. “Then that’s a bit more complicated, mate.”

 “What does Klaus’ tattoo mean?” Enzo asks, finally distracted from technical lease talk, and Caroline takes her cue to scurry out of the room and into the kitchen.

 She barely hears Kol snickering about how, before Klaus decided to become an actor, he’d made his living as the king of the underbelly of the neighbouring city.

 “Right,” Enzo nods. “So I’ll put the lease down in your name, then?”

 “Let me check with Caroline,” Klaus replies, the peaceful smile sliding back onto his face, and turns in his chair. “Sweetheart?”

 There’s no answer, because Caroline’s not in the kitchen anymore.

 .

 .

 Bonnie is a surprise fan favourite, and she gets promoted to series regular.

 Maybe it’s because she’d hired someone to ghost-tweet her fans, and they like the look of her in her usual thigh high boots, voluminous skirts, and riding crop ensemble on the show. Season five had gotten weirdly anachronistic.

 She goes into trailer in her full Regency-era gown and pink Chuck Norris sneakers to find that Caroline has already started on the wine.

 “Well?” she prompts, taking the glass Caroline passes her.

 “I guess we’re moving in together,” Caroline says.

 They clink glasses.

 .

 .

 The first night isn’t… weird. Everyone had helped Klaus move into Caroline’s space (which just meant an armful of Henleys and a stack of books, since he’d left everything else next door. Whilst he was balancing all of that, everyone helps themselves to the cheese platter).

 A round of drinks leads to a round of drunk Monopoly, and unsurprisingly Caroline sweeps the board after she manages to land an unsuspecting strip while everyone else guns for the most expensive squares. That leads to charades, which leads to an argument, which leads to more drinks to placate the tension.

 “I’m drunk,” Elena gasps, because she never is. Everyone else agrees that they, too, are inebriated.

 Caroline brews some of the fancy loose-leaf tea she’d stolen from Klaus’ kitchen cabinets as the night dwindles down.

 When the last guest (Damon, still drunk) leaves with his date (Bonnie, winking), Klaus helps her with the washing up. He presses a kiss to her forehead as he dries the plates and she ducks under his arm to put away the cutlery when he arranges the glasses back onto the rack above the sink.

 “Bed?” he suggests when they finish an episode of Bojack Horseman, finishing the last of the crackers between them.

 “Sure,” she says lightly. It’s just like every other night, then, except there’s something unspoken in the air about the new arrangement.

 Unspoken because Caroline, queen of not talking about things, had all but managed to dodge all of Klaus’ attempts to talk about things.

 He’d resorted to just move himself in until Caroline suddenly feels like he doesn’t want him there – he might’ve left some shoes and his favourite Henley behind. Caroline notices.

 They brush their teeth silently, Caroline bumping his hip when she wants to gargle.

 They practice some lines back and forth, the script illuminated by the twin lamps on her twin bedside tables. Everything in her room came in a set of twins; Caroline likes the symmetry of the notion. Klaus likes to joke that it’s a sign that some day, she’ll probably have twins too. He doesn’t add that he hopes they’ll be his to father.

  .

.

 Klaus has been living with her, truly living with her, for approximately three weeks now. It’s nice to say “See you at home” instead of “See you later”, even though for a while, later had come to mean home anyway.

 They fall into a habit that doesn’t take time to even form: to-do lists that he helps stick onto her board, packed cheesy lunches from her favourite food truck, and nights of chess on the cramped little balcony.

 Sure, Kol still traipses in through the window whenever he feels like it, and they still gather at Elena’s for dinner, and Stefan still meets them at the balcony for a quick post-dinner smoke, but at night it’s just her and Klaus and their new Queen-sized mattress that Klaus had convinced her to buy, trading in from her old but dutiful King-sized one.

 “I like to be closer to you when we sleep,” he whispers into her hair.

 “We might as well have bought a super-single then,” she laughs.

 “Or a single.”

 “You’d have to sleep practically on top of me.”

 “Nowhere else I’d rather be,” he promises her, and goads her into a kiss.

 It’s a light one, feather soft, because whilst the days of heat and yearning had passed, he’d found that he enjoyed the more intimate moments with her. When she’s in her used kaftan and he’s just in sweats, and he can feel every curve of her against his side.

 Caroline falls asleep with her forehead pressed against his shoulder, and he doesn’t move all night for fear of waking her up.

  .

 .

  And still they don’t talk about it.

 Caroline’s not bothered, per se, but she’d bothered by the fact that Klaus isn’t talking about it. If anything he’s mastered the art of talking himself out of any situation, and talking her into a frenzy.

 He’s all but shut up, like Stefan the Cat’s got his tongue.

 Like he’s happy at playing houses with her.

 Like he’s happy.

 Well – she’s happy too.

 Klaus passes her the maple syrup when she asks, and he smiles to her so sweetly it makes everything at the table taste quite bland.

[naruhearts]

14x13 First-Watch Thoughts: Dean Winchester, John Winchester and Destiel

Before I write a full proper review this weekend (and I plan to write a separate Sam post) (I’ll be missing other key details for sure) let me SCREAM about:

JOHN WINCHESTER FADING AWAY AT THE END OF THE EPISODE LIKE A GHOST INTO THE ETHER as the Winchesters said goodbye to him --> TPTB visually/narratively textualized his ghostly presence like we’ve seen in S13/S14 -- Ghost-Monster-Yeager-Michael epitomized figure. He loomed over Sam and Dean's lives (especially Dean's) as the core toxic remnant of their past that they internalized and which subsequently influenced them to live out their toxic life courses and crippled their healthy self-processes, yet John Winchester’s narrative cathartic (and redemptive) role was fulfilled during Season Who Am I 14.

DEAN: For the longest time I blamed Dad. I blamed Mom too. I was angry. [...]  But to be honest I don't know who that Dean Winchester is [re: letting ‘some other poor sons of bitches’ take Sam and Dean’s place if they were normal].

DEAN: I'm good with who I am.

x

Dean ACTUALLY used his words and disclosed the sources of his trauma and parental neglect *screams* He self-introspected during the dishwashing scene in the kitchen -- the Heart and Home -- by precisely doing what we expected/hoped for him (and Sam) to do: reflecting on their current lives in response to 2003!John Winchester’s resurrection and determining what really holds true value and worth...what holds more fulfilling love and true heart’s desires than a pearl ever could --> Found Family. DEAN, recalling that life is short, accepted his current respective life with Cas and Jack and stressed the self-fulfilling importance of why their lives turned out as such. What they went through since Mary died in 1983 moulded them into who they are today. HE ACCEPTS WHO HE IS!! Dean accepts who Sam is. Sam and Dean, as grown men, become the optimum versions of themselves where their physical, emotional and mental suffering was, of course, undeserved, but also ultimate self-cathartic blessings in disguise: it contributed to their both their psychological resistance and individual journeys towards self-actualization as they create interpersonal bonds with others outside themselves. THEY LET GO.

JOHN: I'm so proud of you boys. I love you both...so much.

x

THE LONG-WANTED AND LONG-OVERDUE PRIDE AND VERBALIZED LOVE FROM A FATHER WHO ABUSED HIS SONS FOR YEARS. He finally told Sam and Dean that he loved them. He asked for forgiveness, and they freely chose to give it, additionally permitting themselves to embrace cathartic closure. Now THAT is how you transform trauma into your self-motivational strength!! In particular, we knew *points at all the extensive John vs Dean meta* that Dean yearned to hear those direct words from John. He yearned for years. For Dean to hear it spill out of John’s actual lips -- to hear John verbalize how much he loves Dean, how he’s proud of the man he has become -- after everything Dean has done for him -- is sheer meta fulfillment executed in the most emotive way. Instead of watching his son die without fostering altruism e.g. 2x01 In My Time of Dying, we see John watching his son LIVE and grow -- exercising his agency, formulating decisions for himself, and finally discovering SELF-WORTHINESS. SELF-LOVE. SELF-ACCEPTANCE. John also told Dean that he “never meant for this. I guess I hoped that eventually you'll get yourself a normal life. A peaceful life. A family.” Well--

Dean told John he does in fact have a family, topped off with the smile of utter happiness on his face. 

He chose his own timeline in which Cas and Jack exist. He chose his Found Family.

x

It’s intriguing to note that, in the context of John hoping Dean would have “eventually” obtained a “normal life” --  a “family” -- for himself, if we go off SPN’s constantly-reiterated narrative differentiations between familial family (brothers) and intimate family (husbands, boyfriends, girlfriend) aka Love and...Love, the unsaid connotation of ROMANTIC family applies here, as @thetwistedwillow​ and I discussed. Sam is Dean’s family, but John isn’t referring to him.

John is referring to Dean getting himself an Apple Pie Life™ -- one that Dean initially tried with Lisa and Ben Braeden but couldn’t sustain; Dean seeking marital happiness outside The Life™ was NOT personally/characteristically feasible. It entailed burying vital truths about himself -- imprisoning his non-performativity -- as a broken man within a broad illusion of Want vs Need whom Lisa also tried and failed to fix...failed to make whole despite Dean once telling her that she comprised his happiness long ago.

Indeed, the present era of Season Cyclic 14 ushers in truth. 

Dean has a family with “someone who understands The Life™.”

This aforementioned Life™ -- regardless of it being full of pain, horror, and death -- offers Dean joy, security, and new beginnings. 

Cas and Jack, willingly choosing to incorporate themselves into The Life™, are the mirrors of freedom to Lisa and Ben’s jagged misfortunes. 

They accept who Dean is wholeheartedly. They lend him purpose, zeal, and love -- buckets of love. They are aware of his faults. They encourage his strengths. They represent his faith and his hope.

(Cas, more than anyone, is indelibly aware of Dean’s capabilities.)

In terms of communication, Dean told his brother Sam that he loves him in 14x11 [for attempting to find another way re: Michael]. He directly told his mother Mary that he loves her in 12x22. Tonight he finally told his father John that he loves him, too. ALL the emotional honesty and transparency, my friends!!

Who else is left for Dean to say such significant words to? WE JUST DON’T KNOW!

- - - - 

14x13 practically crossed off most of this + my entire SPN300 checklist!!!

- CHOSEN FAMILY VS FOUND FAMILY themes - S14 Dean encountering/hearing about the Castiel of Old—the Angel of the Lord who hasn’t yet built a trustful and ever-complex ten-year relationship with him - Sam finally rectifying and clarifying things with John as a grown man!! TPTB know what 14x13’s premise means for Mary Winchester and TFW’s characteristic arcs aka EMOTIONAL CHARACTER-DRIVEN NARRATIVES. They are facing their pasts and must subsequently introspect and FINALLY act upon their WANTS vs NEEDS. Bros (Dean the Emotional Hero of SPN in particular) may have wished John was alive, but is it worth losing Cas and Jack? - Is it worth losing the real Cas Dean knows? Worth replacing the angel who executed his own choice to Fall, embodied his newfound humanized principles and willingly became part of Dean’s life? - (And here the focal point of the Destiel-adjacent 14x13 narrative comes in) If John didn’t die, Dean’s life course progression towards self-actualization (with Cas as a key aspect of his psychological realizations; Dean and Cas as both each other’s offsets to healthy self-process) wouldn’t have happened. Losing Mary—losing John—ALLOWED Dean to, despite all the unfortunate circumstances, endure necessary pain in order to heal…to: A. release himself from the shackles of predeterminism, Brodependency, parental absenteeism, repression, toxic misemotionality, and trauma + eliminating the old perceptions of himself as a blunt tool: his father’s hammer and society’s hammer and B. embrace his reflection that he sees in the mirror of his identity - Is alive!John truly what Dean WANTS? What he NEEDS? Dean and Sam, confronted by personal ultimatum in terms of their individual relationships with John and the psychological states/growth stages his death left him in, must decide! - TL;DR character development - And, of course, proliferation of endgame Destiel in some way (not a BIG way yet, but building blocks) from this point onwards and subtext moving into its final pre-text phase as I hope/expect Dean to choose his reality with Cas

(I’m expanding on the last point in a bit!!)

I have LOTS of additional thoughts (tbh they’re all an incoherent jumble lol), but as of now I’d like to say that nothing else can surpass the heartwarming satisfaction that bloomed in my chest over the way Dabb and Glynn beautifully interweaved the narrative’s Family/Love/Forgiveness/Self themes into an episode full of amusing callbacks e.g. Plucky Pennywhistle’s Magical Menagerie (there were a LOT of easter eggs I tell you) and heavy-weighing characteristic ones e.g. Goodbye Stranger Destiel redux -- and oh my gosh, the Dean and Cas narrative callbacks we received tonight, where Dean couldn’t believe that OG Cas had NO recollection of him?!

I don’t know about you, but the romantic subtext smacked me in the face; the negative spaces and unsaid verbalizations were glaring. I was, quite frankly, thumping the table in excitement, because alongside the explicit and gorgeously done Lazarus Rising redux scene -- in a PIZZERIA no less *gestures at Cas = Pizza D/C bonding meta and romantic connotations* -- Sam and Dean confronting OG Cas depicted Dean and Cas' current relationship and dual growth reverting to zero in this AU.

It was a painful encapsulation of the unstable past vs healthy present. 

Castiel the Angel of the Lord was non-humanized and never saved Dean from Hell. Emotional detachment and warrior-obedient violence resurfaced as his characteristic markers.

x

Dean, whom Cas --  from the point of first contact in realtime canon -- forged a profound bond with (the bond that proliferated into an intrinsically complex underlying romance narrative which worldwide audiences have been devoutly privy to) was struck by harrowing shock here, and TPTB took intentional liberties to visually fixate on Dean. Sam, on the other hand, reacted via wariness, and he was placed in the periphery -- blurred out to juxtapose their varied emotions of brother and husband; one of these is, as per usual, not like the other.

x

Dean realizes the integral role Cas currently holds in his life -- how far they’ve come together, in that the Goodbye Stranger parallel scene between him and Cas has him begging for Cas to stop -- to no avail -- and my heart lurched awfully when Cas made no move to do so. Dean fails in breaking his personal Naomi bred-reminiscent Soldier coding because we all know this certain iteration of Cas never freely chose Humanity. 

He never Fell, never embodied the human principles of free will/autonomy and self-identity, never found kinship, and never fell in love with Dean. 

Keeping the above in mind, when the real Cas comes back to the bunker after the ever-palpable and necessary self-catharsis that occurred during his absence, TPTB’s narrative brings the episode’s thematic premise of WANT vs NEED full circle as Mary, Sam, and Dean witness his entrance.

Sam and Mary are awed after the temporal fracture ordeal they just experienced, but there lies, once again, a certain cinematographic focus on (12x19-reminiscent) Dean.

x

x

We observe Dean’s onscreen expression of raw appreciation and self-conviction in that he has realized, amongst the throes of meta-laden cathartic self-acceptance, that everything he encountered since childhood -- the good, bad, in-between -- was worth it. This current canon reality is his heart’s deepest desire. He accepts it. He WANTS it.

For Dean Winchester, a life without Cas is no life at all.

RATING: 10/10

[thesportssoundoff]

Keeping up with my Yankees centric MLB preview, I wanted to continue onward and take a long look at the trade market the Yankees may be waddling into. Over the past two seasons, the Yankees have done most of their damage via trades both as it pertains to shedding unwanted salary, clearing 40 man space (Caleb Smith and Garrett Cooper to Michael King) and making big fish splash trades like Giancarlo Stanton and James Paxton. The Yankees have opted to make deals in large part because it's cheaper but also because they are just flat out good at it. So good in fact that it was reported toward the trade deadline that teams were absolutely going to get Brian Cashman to overpay because they didn't want to be the latest team to give up something for nothing. So if Brian Cashman opts to upgrade through trades, here are some names to keep in mind as we go through the late fall/early winter*

*As an aside, no Syndergaard, no DeGrom, no Bauer, no Kluber and no Lindor. For starters, I just don't see those deals as being remotely possible so I'm not going to waste keystrokes. Beyond that? I mean WE also all know WHY those deals make sense for the Yankees would be a barrel of fun so why waste time? They'd be amazing additions to any team let alone this one.

1. SP Robbie Ray, Arizona Diamondbacks 12-8 4.34 ERA 174 innings pitched 12.13 K/9 4.34 BB/9 98 ERA-

In a very chippy and controversial post season presser, Brian Cashman stated plainly that the people they were aiming at the deadline ultimately didn't get traded. We know for a fact that one of the guys that the Yankees chased up until the deadline was Diamondbacks arm Robbie Ray. According to Jon Heyman and other NY media members, the trade fell short when the Diamondbacks asked for a FOUR player package headlined by Clint Frazier. My guess is that the Yankees and Diamondbacks are going to circle back around to one another and the winter meetings will be ripe with Ray to the Yankees rumors. Robbie Ray is not the answer if you're chasing down a stud ace starter. He's a less talent but still quite good version of James Paxton. Let's discuss the positives; Robbie Ray is a strikeout machine who was somewhat fluked by the juiced ball in 2019. His xFIP is a full point lower than his actual ERA which suggests some flukiness. He was third in the MLB in K's per 9 innings and at 234 strikeouts, would easily give the Yankees a power lefty arm they yearn for. He's under contract until 2021 and is still on the right side of 30 which matters because Severino could be the only starter on the rotation now who is around beyond next year. The downside is that giving up assets for a guy who doesn't solve your desire/hunger for a #1 starter isn't normally wise business. Severino, Tanaka, Paxton and Robbie Ray is a really good top 4 in your rotation but it's not the sort of rotation you can trumpet out vs Houston's or even on the same level as Cleveland's top 3 of Klueber, Corrasco and Bieber. Ray also has crazy walk totals and like most power pitches he tends to give up flyball contact at a relatively spooky rate. Also could dude shave his beard in time before pitchers and catches report? That shit looks like it'll take a while.

2. SP Matt Boyd, Detroit Tigers 9-12 4.56 ERA 185.1 innings pitched 11.56 K/9 2.43 BB/9 98 ERA-

Sticking with the names and faces we know of that didn't get dealt, Matthew Boyd! The Yankees apparently checked in on Boyd a few times and Detroit figured the best way to start negotiations was with Gleyber Torres. Because idiocy exists in Michigan seemingly. To his credit, Boyd decided to "reward" the Tigers down the stretch for their view on him with a 5.55 ERA and a .505 slugging percentage against. With elevated walk rates and elevated contact overall, Boyd was pretty terrible in the 2nd half. The good news is that he throws for power, is under 30, has crazy K rates and is under contract into 2023. He is worth a lot if you buy into the upside but worth a whole lot less if you take in the totality of the circumstances. he was slightly better away from Detroit and the fact that he pitched to softer contact on the road might have some pitching coach figuring it's just a desire to get out of a dead situation. It would also be fair to note that every team trading for a Tigers pitcher is going to remember how they jerked around teams on Michael Fulmer only for him to completely fall apart. Matthew Boyd is the ultimate gamble; ridiculous stuff, amazing K rate, good walk rate and a penchant for loud hits with a terrible second half to send him. My guess is Detroit would probably like to hold onto him until the trade deadline and then reconsider things.

3. RP Ken Giles, Toronto Blue Jays 1.87 ERA 23 saves 53 innings pitched 14 K/9 2.41 BB 41 ERA- 1 flat WHIP

The final name on our Trade Deadline targets from July. Apparently of the three names above, the Yankees were closest on Ken Giles as an added bullpen arm before something in the medicals spooked them. Giles had a great year in Toronto and was a quality-ish arm for Houston before falling off the map and losing his confidence, eventually getting swapped out for maligned Roberto Osuna. If Chapman opts out, it's worth noting that Giles is probably going to do around 8 to 10 mil or so through arbitration which would put him below Britton and Ottavino in  the financial totem pole. The guy who runs Toronto also was in Cleveland when they drafted Clint Frazier so clearly they have a comfort there on their end. Britton can close and Giles can be your 8th inning guy.

4. SS Nick Ahmed, Arizona Diamondbacks .254/.316/.437 19 HR 82 RBI 79 runs scored 93 OPS+ 92 wRC+

The general thought process is that if Didi leaves, the Yankees will just shift Gleyber Torres to shortstop full time, put DJ at 2B and have Gio and Voit round out the infield. In that case they probably will want somebody who can rotate around at a variety of spots in the infield to keep everybody fresh aka the same role they had in mind for DJ LeMehieu when they signed him. If they want a more traditional shortstop and use DJ/Gleyber/Gio as a trio of rotating infielders (or play DJ at 1st) then Nick Ahmed might make a lot of sense as a trade option. Going back to names from the past, the Yankees have inquired on Ahmed in the past; once as a potential 2B (the role went to Neil Walker) and once as a fill in for Didi when he had TJS. Ahmed had his career best year which is still noway near Didi's peak years BUT his glove is world's away better than Didi's peak years so that's the trade off.

5. 1B Daniel Vogelbach, Seattle Mariners .208/.341/.439 30 HR 76 RBI 79 runs scored 112 OPS+ 111 wRC+

The original plan in 2019 was a Greg Bird/Luke Voit platoon gig at 1st and DH. It didn't work out that and to his credit, Voit took the job and ran with it for the first half of the year. In the 2nd half, injuries and a lack of confidence in his ability to read the zone led to Voit being off the playoff roster. He's got all of the tools to be a really good hitting 1st baseman (less about the defense said then the better) but Voit remains a "Yeah but" for the Yankees. He's too good on paper to not make the team but too question marked filled at this point to be a reliable set it and forget it starter at 1st. Daniel Vogelbach falls into a similar boat as Luke Voit; both see a lot of pitches, both hit for power, both are cost controlled and both struggled in the 2nd half down the stretch. Vogelbach isn't great shakes defensively which would give the Yankees a sketchy lefty-righty platoon with bad defense but the pop and the OBP skills are tremendous and well worth considering if Vogelbach is not considered a key part of the Mariners rebuild. The argument could/should be made that the Yankees already have a Daniel Vogelbach in waiting in Mike Ford though.

6. SP Jose Quintana, Cubs 13-9 4.56 ERA 181 innings pitched 8.0 K/9 2.4 BB/9 107 ERA-

Went over this one elsewhere. For a Yankees staff that really could use the innings, Jose Quintana would provide a reliable somewhat affordable (at 11 mil) innings eater with upside. His stuff was basically the same as usual (he K'd a bit less than usual) and figures to have some bounceback ability especially if the balls are untreated this year.

7. DH Kyle Schwarber, Cubs .250/.339/.531 38 HR 92 RBI 82 runs scored 120 OPS+ 120 wRC+

So as previously stated; if Brian Cashman wants you then chances are he'll find a way to go and get you eventually. In 2016, Cashman went toe to toe with the Cubs in an attempt to get Kyle Schwarber for Aroldis Chapman. It didn't work out and apparently they tried again for the stretch run in 2017 as well. When the Yankees lineup was being wiped out with injuries, they went out and got a DH in Edwin Encarnacion with the belief being that they could hit their way by teams with no upgrades to the rotation. It didn't quite work out in the playoffs but Encarnacion was very reliable for the Yankees last year. Could the Yankees jump on a potential Cubs soft rebuild by grabbing Schwarber and using him as an occasional outfielder but mostly full time DH who mashes lefties and provides balance at the top of the line up between the likes of Stanton, Judge and Gleyber? Schwarber is an abysmal defender who mashes and then some but cannot hit lefties for the life of it. The price would probably be high despite his warts because he's still relatively cost effective and lefty power is always in demand.

8. RP Blake Treinen, Oakland Athletics 4.91 ERA 16 saves 58.2 innings pitched 9.1 K/9 5.6 BB/9

If the Yankees have to go and find some additional bullpen arms, they might find a friend out in Oakland. Blake Treinen was superb in 2018 and despite having similar peripherals for most of 2019, the results were way worse. EVEN accounting for regression to the mean, this was a hell of a decline for Treinen who ended the year on IL. At 31 years old and likely at an elevated (by bullpen standards) cost, the Yankees could take a low risk high reward flier on Treinen.

[confinedmadness]

[Review] Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds

Overall

I’ve now finished all the routes in Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds and would like to compile my thoughts into one last post. Every time I finished a bachelor’s route, I did write my thoughts about it in separate posts. Links to those posts are found below. This will be pretty long.

Art

I love, love, love the art! It’s so beautiful. My only complaint is that the guys don’t have equal numbers of CGs. For example, the most number of CGs for a character is 10. However, poor Yamazaki only gets 6!! And even among those with the same number of CGs, it isn’t equal. For example, Harada and Heisuke both have 10 CGs each. But Harada is with Chizuru in 7 of them. Meanwhile, Heisuke is with Chizuru in only 3 of his 10.

Music

The music is also good. “Corridor of Memories” and “Yearn for his Heart” are my favorites. I just really love good soft, touching music. Though the comedic music and the red light district music are also fun.

Translation / Text

I’m on the fence about this one. On one hand, the translation wasn’t wrong. However, sometimes the word choices and the tone just didn’t fit. When Hijikata suddenly says, “The hell you say?” or when Kazama says “Shit happens”, I just end up frowning because I personally feel the first one would have been better if it was written properly “What the hell did you say?”, while the second one could have just been “That’s just how things are.” 

I wish they’d taken into consideration the personalities of each character and took that into account when translating their dialogue. Not everyone speaks the same way. Not everyone spouts out slang. Some people are formal. Some people are too casual.

I also mentioned this in my post on Souma’s route, but “senpai” isn’t “teacher”. And though this is low priority, I wish they’d done something to show that Sakamoto speaks a different dialect from the Shinsengumi guys. (Especially since they’d taken the time to get a voice actor who actually speaks the dialect.)

Also, there were a lot of typographical errors--repeated words, missing words, wrong word order, etc. It becomes bothersome after the first 15 instances, and it breaks your immersion into the story.

Interface / Controls

I don’t really have problems with the interface and controls per se. The interface is easy to understand and navigate. The controls aren’t complicated, either. However, there are bugs here and there where suddenly the story won’t move forward no matter how many times I click my mouse. But then I pick up my controller and it continues no problem. As well as vice versa, I mash my controller buttons and it doesn’t work but I switch to my mouse and voila!

Voice Acting

Overall, I think the cast did a really good job. Some of my favorite voice actors that voice characters in Hakuoki are: Yoshino Hiroyuki (Heisuke), Miyano Mamoru (Iba), Kaji Yuuki (Souma), Ono Daisuke (Sakamoto), and Tsuda Kenjiro (Kazama). And while they did awesome as usual, other performances I enjoyed were by Morikubo Shoutaro (Okita), Toriumi Kousuke (Saito), and Ito Hasumi (Kaoru). 

I like the fact that they got Ono Daisuke to voice Sakamoto using his Tosa dialect. I found out through some searches that Ono actually voiced other fictional versions of Sakamoto Ryoma for the same reason. I know the Tosa dialect Ono speaks may already be different (evolved) from the Tosa dialect Sakamoto spoke in his time, but the fact that they made that effort was really nice. (Which again brings me to the point that I wish they’d made the effort in the English translation as well. But I understand that’s difficult to do when there’s no equivalent.)

Also, Tsuda Kenjiro’s voice is always a stand-out. I felt similarly when I first heard Kazama speak as when I heard Hatori Hanzo from Nightshade speak (which Tsuda also voices). Sometimes, I close my eyes and feel that any time now Inui (Prince of Tennis) will rattle on about his newest Inui Juice, or that Kaiba (Yu-Gi-Oh!) will yell “YUGIIIII”  😂

History

Admittedly, I’m more of a Sengoku Era girl than a Bakumatsu Period girl. And my experiences of the Bakumatsu period in a fictional story is limited to the anime/manga/film Rurouni Kenshin, the drama Tenno no Ryoriban, and the otome game Ikemen Bakumatsu. None of which really inspired me to look further into the history. 

This time, though, I did a lot of reading. I really love how they incorporated the historical events into the storytelling. As well as how they portrayed the characters’ deaths.

What was a little confusing, though, was I didn’t know at first that the game shows dates following the lunar calendar. So I was searching for events that happened in January 3, 1868 only to find that it is equivalent to the western date January 27, 1868.

Routes

In order from ‘awesome’ to ‘meh’ according to me (though the middle is pretty dependent on my mood), here are links to my individual reviews on the routes:

Okita Souji

Kazama Chikage

Yamazaki Susumu

Saito Hajime

Harada Sanosuke

Sakamoto Ryouma

Toudou Heisuke

Sanan Keisuke

Iba Hachiro

Hijikata Toshizo

Souma Kazue

Nagakura Shinpachi

Well, that was honestly difficult to rank. In terms of raw fun, Yamazaki’s route is probably my favorite. But when story and depth and the like are considered, Okita and Kazama’s are definitely on top. In terms of whose route I’m interested to play in Edo Blossoms, Iba will be high up there. But I didn’t really enjoy his Kyoto Winds route that much. So yeah, take this ranking with a grain of salt.

I mention this in probably every individual review up there, but I wished they put more effort on the bad endings. I do understand though that there is little that can be done with the suddenness of the events in the bad endings but I wished more care and thought was put into it. Just a shame that it’s an ending but it’s really just there to tell you “Oops, not the right ending.”

Also, consistency is a problem depending on whose route you’re playing. Things that were mentioned earlier on suddenly become a surprise for the characters later on. It’s kind of frustrating.

Yukimura’s Ending

I really like this ending. It’s probably the most realistic, too. I’m glad it’s there.

[02m1lk]

180907 NYLON Interview

Cai xukun’s emergence catches the attention of people; he carries with him the innocence of a youth, yet at the same time he carries maturity rarely seen in others his age. After officially debuting, he chose to ‘settle down’ and put all of his focus into making music, proving himself with his works.

“Life is an endless learning journey, I hope to become better by constantly improving myself. Moving forward on the path I’m passionate about, first I have to put in time, then enjoy every second on stage.”

The morning of the photoshoot, cai xukun appeared in beijing 798’s bee hive center for contemporary art wearing a navy shirt. The first thing he did after arriving was head to the filming area and discuss the plans for the day with the crew. While observing the site and the style of the clothes, he thought over on how he should express this photoshoot with his own style later on. After changing into his first outfit, he quickly came to an agreement with the photographer; and without needing too much guidance, he immersed himself in the switching of poses in front of the camera.

It seemed cai xukun only adjusted himself to a state of relaxation after going into the resting room, selecting music to play on his phone. Ever since returning from overseas he’s been constantly preparing for his new album, while flying to different cities and countries. But other than the occasional yawns, you couldn’t see any sigs of tiredness coming from him.

“1”: From nothing to something

We met cai xukun just a week before his 20th birthday. Before this, he never really specially prepared for his birthdays, usually just having a simple meal with his family But this being his first birthday after debuting, turning 20 holds a huge significance to him. He says: “This might be one of the most important birthdays in my life. Because of this album, my 20th birthday has been endowed with significance of many different levels. It’s like a homework I want to hand in to myself, and is also a reciprocation to the long period of accompaniment ikuns have given me. I think the best present I can gift to them are my works. This album will be released for free, (as a gift) to my fans.”

On the 2nd of august, under the anticipation of many, he achieved first place on various music charts with his new original EP《1》. The title of the album holds his experiences and journey thus far, holding the meaning of starting from zero, from having nothing to having something. And the number ‘1’ is special to cai xukun, symbolising a new era as well as his brand new style of music. But cai xukun’s ambitions towards music will not cease after《1》, he says: “《1》will continue to include my original works in the future, and slowly accumulate to become a full and diverse album. I will work hard to express my personal style from its visual, audio to performance presentations.” You can find his traces in every song of his - in its lyrics, style, and tone colour, even each breath was specially designed.

On the day of cai xukun’s birthday, he took first place on sina weibo’s influencing celebrities chart with a high score of 98.51. And before this, he’d already maintained this placing for a long record of 13 weeks straight. It’s because of these high numbers and being the talk of the town that cai xukun has been named as a prime representation of ‘new generation idols’. Facing these endless achievements, cai xukun’s understanding towards the label of ‘new generation idol’ is simple, he says: “I feel that as an idol, the first thing that should be done is to spread positive energy, bring to fans a ‘(hardworking/motivating/)self-improving’ attitude through the stage. Secondly it is to concentrate on your career (the things you are good at), focus on training and learning, and to not be disturbed by the external voices. For myself, this career would be music. I am very willing to obtain knowledge in this aspect (music) and try new styles.”

Throughout the interview, you can easily feel his love and passion for music, towards this, he doesn’t hide anything at all: “I truly enjoy every ‘state’ (that he is in when) at work, whether it is a photoshoot, being on stage or behind-the-scene productions, I am willing to participate in everything. The sense of achievement I receive from the process of participating in all these lets me feel enriched.” Even when he hardly has any time for himself, as long as he is able to squeeze out that little bit of time among his busy schedules, he will use it on composing music. When inspiration suddenly hits, he will immediately record the melody and lyrics on his phone. To him, no matter where he is, the best state to be in when composing is to keep a rash and passionate heart towards music.

The ability of forgetting oneself on stage

The cai xukun on stage perfectly expresses the arrogant aura of a Leo. He carries a trait of being born for the stage, a combination of stability and ‘explosive force’. Unlike having to play out another person’s life when acting, on stage is where he can express his most authentic side, and in his heart the stage is also the place with the most freedom.

In the subject of performing on stage, cai xukun is no doubt an outstanding student with full marks. Every time he performs he is just like a ‘model textbook’, from his movements to the tiny changes in his expressions, it is hard to pick out flaws. This model performance student’s achievements comes from his hard work and practice - it is only through endlessly practicing in the dance studio to engrave every movement in his muscle, can one then shine on stage freely. He admits he is someone with strict expectations of himself, persevering on his own ideas when at work. He has a (measuring) scale in his heart, only deciding what’s most suitable for himself after taking in the different opinions from people around him. After the end of every performance, cai xukun never gives up on any opportunity to review himself, through re-watching his performances repeatedly, he uses the scale in his heart to seek for areas of improvement, to create an even better performance for the next time he stands on stage.

Just like the lyrics cai xukun wrote in <you can be my girlfriend>, “rumours and gossips are just playthings in my eyes” - what can be truly ‘taken into sight’ by him is only music. On his path of becoming a singer, cai xukun has never thought of giving up. Even when he’s asked a hypothetical question of ‘if he can’t sing, what would he do?’, he only smiles and shakes his head, saying: “No, there wouldn’t be a day where I won’t sing.” About how one can stay focused, he shows maturity above that of his age: “I feel you have to ‘settle’ your heart down to learn, life is an endless learning journey. I hope to become better by constantly improving myself. Moving forward on the path I’m passionate about, first I have to put int time, then enjoy every second on stage.” The confidence and charms he exudes now are the best requites from putting in hard work.

Under the influence of his mother and grandfather, cai xukun has started yearning for the stage since he was small, and naturally stepped onto the path of chasing his dreams. On his 10th birthday he once made a wish: “I want to become a singer, and make my own album.” Ten years later today, he fulfilled his childhood dream. Except that, maybe the him back then didn’t expect himself to cause such an uproar with the fulfilment of this dream. (Then what is your next wish?) “I hope to fulfil this dream even better. Other than publishing works, I have to publish good works. I don’t wish to make music following the (current) trends just to ‘be welcomed’ by the (general) ‘market’.” After he debuted, various comments and judgements came with his popularity. Towards this cai xukun chose the best method of responding, and that is to let his works speak for him.

In the eyes of others, perhaps cai xukun’s name blew up overnight, yet this supposed ‘one night’ costed a span ten years. Before the fame, he spent day after day practicing, waiting for an opportunity that belongs to him. When this opportunity arrived, cai xukun calmly gathered all of the lights on stage and created for himself a unique halo of his own, making people unable to ignore his existence anymore.

In this ten years of chasing his music dreams, his journey was not smooth-sailing. But whether it be when he felt lost or faced difficulties, cai xukun’s motivation never extinguished. He turns the strong energy in his heart into chances for himself to improve, and even thank the heavens for the experiences he’s been given. “All the difficulties that I’ve been through while chasing my music dreams are my wealth, they’ve given me a lot of help and even inspiration.” Keeping himself grounded over the years, waiting for that moment to go on stage. His experiences perfectly confirms the old saying: one minute of performance on stage, ten years of hard work off-stage.

“Keeping one’s heart grounded in a world of temptations”, cai xukun’s motto will accompany him on his career for the next ten years, eventually arriving at the ‘other side of the shore’ acknowledged in his heart.

He carries a trait of being born for the stage, a combination of stability and ‘explosive force’. Unlike having to play out another person’s life when acting, on stage is where he can express his most authentic side, and in his heart the stage is also the place with the most freedom.

Q & A

Q What did you eat for breakfast today? A I didn’t eat breakfast today.

Q How many hours of sleep did you get this week? A It depends, when I’m busy I get about 5 hours of sleep per day.

Q What do you do when you feel stressed? A Eat.

Q Your favourite colour? A I like all colours.

Q The meme you use most often? A (thinks for a few seconds) I actually don’t really use memes.

Q Do you prefer typing or voice-chatting on wechat? A Typing.

Q Your pinned contact in wechat? A I don’t have any pinned contacts right now.

Q The last person you sent a wechat message to? A My family.

Q What trait of yours do you think is most like a leo? A It should be when I’m on stage.

Q How do you plan to spend your 20th birthday? A Play with music with my ikuns.

Q A song you want to do a cover of the most? A Actually I’ve been preparing a song recently, when it’s done I’ll share it with everyone.

Q The one thing you will definitely do before and after you go on stage? A Before going on stage I will find a corner to let myself be ‘quiet’ for a bit, after coming off stage I’ll find time to watch my performance.

Q If you could collaborate with one person (regardless of time periods and countries), who do you hope to work with and how? A I’d want to work with film master charlie chaplin and act in a movie.

Q If you can only eat one dish for the rest of your life, what would it be? A Stir-fried beef with celery.

Q A body part of yours you’re most satisfied with? A Eyes.

Original article: https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/tZn0gyYp55mh8rdq1ZYoCA

Full Translations: @02m1lk Do NOT repost, please take out WITH credits.

[ashmerra]

may i kindly ask you all the oc questions?

Yes, yes you may.

Quick note:  A few OCsI won’t mention by name and a few answers will be vague just as to not spoilanything.  I have an entire fanversegoing on here.

-50 OC Asks-

Quick reference:  Meri is the Hero of Kvatch.  Arrais a Breton mage in Skyrim.  Dreyns is a Dunmer assassin.  Vitiais the Dragonborn.  Sannit is an old, former Ashlander. Veabris is an Ayleid who’saround back before the First Era.  Jaka is the Nerevarine.  Estor isNot a Thalmor ™.  Stigr is a proud Nord boi.  La’Mihr is a smart kitty.  One-Who-Knowsis yearning for the suburban Skyrim dream.  

 1. “Your first OCever?”  

That would be proto Meri. She was really the first that grew into an actual character.  She was also supposed to star in an Oblivionrewrite/webcomic/fanfic thing I drew like one page of years ago.

2. “Do you have a personal favouriteamong your OCs?”

I like different ones for different reasons!  Arra’s dialogue and one-liners, Dreyns’swhole ark of getting old, Vitia’s philosophy, etc.  etc.

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

Nope.  And I’d neverconsider them mine.  I handcraft them andbake them one-of-a-kind each time.  Butmore seriously, the most I could take is an idea for a character, because Ialways like to twist things on their head and really make it my own.  I don’t enjoy writing NPCs for thisreason.  I can’t get in their head and myheadcanons get a bit much, so I’d rather just write for those I know.

4. “A character you rarely talk about?”

Tactus Gavros Sigilis!  An inspector/investigator for the Empirein Skyrim.

5. “If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?”

I think that’s not really up to me.  I can’t decide who fans will latch onto.  I know who’s the most well-liked at thistime, but that’s no indicator of who would be well-loved by a much wideraudience.  I’ll leave this one to my fans!

6. “Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?”

I do my best to give everyone unique looks andclothing/color schemes, but!  There’sthree that got based on each other and aren’t the same but even I’m confusednow.  I’ll make a separate post to breakit down.

7. “Are your OCs part of any story or stories?”

None of them exist outside of the Elder Scrolls universe,and I have yet to write fanfiction.  

8. “Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!”

Currently Arra, Sannit, and Veabris.  Though I think I’m game to RPing any of them,I already have a few more that I want to add to my RPing blog!  (btw, if you like the idea of RPing with me,all you have to do is ask.)

9. “Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?”

No.  Not give, nevergive.  But that doesn’t mean they can’tappear in your writing/meta/art, just that it’s a crossover, you don’t own themjust like I don’t own yours when I allude to them in RPs.  (Did I ever post that here?)

10. “Introduce an OC with a complicated design?”

All the ones I don’t draw, lol

Okay, more seriously…no, that’s pretty much why.

11. “Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a ‘sunshine’?”

100% Arra

12. “Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot”

Can I say all of them? My favorites are the ones who are woven into the lore and pre-existingcharacters, and ones that feel like real people and not just “ArgonainDragonborn #76”.  I like the ones whotake it as seriously as me, and as I see people do, I feel more confident totalk about and expand them.

13. “Do you have any troublemaker OCs?”

Actually, not really.  Dreyns, Jaka and Stigr can all be at times, though.

14. “Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory”

I want to legit change that to one without tragedy in theirbackstory because they’re all tragic…

15. “Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?”

Sometimes!  But I trynot to go overboard because I’m not sure if people like it.  

16. “Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?”

My Daedric biologist, I would imagine.

17. “Any OC OTPs?”

I’m not much of a shipper, honestly.  And I really can’t think of any at themoment.  

18. “Any OC crackships?”

Read 17.

19. “Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)”

I’ll pass on this one only because my answer would start gettingtoo personal for this ask.

20. “Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details(headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?”

Veabris has a beautiful singing voice that would sound agood deal like Annie Lennox.  Actually,just listen to “Into the West” and you’re good to good.  But you’ll never hear it because Vea is superself-conscious and private about singing.

21. “Your most artistic OC?”

You know, I think I overlook making them artistic justbecause I am.  It would be too obvious.  But let’s say Stigr and La’Mihr are.

22. “Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?”

In world or OOC? That’s a really important distinction! But Veabris’s intentions are usually misinterpreted.  

23. “Introduce an OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what thecharacter would be like?”

Most of them!  I workon them for a while until I feel they’re ready to be revealed.  24. “If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?”

Don’t do this to me!!!!  Ahhhh I don’t know I love them all! But Jaka would probably be the most fun to hang out with?  Then again, a day out with Sannit would begreat.

25. “The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, sharedlike/dislike for something etc?)”

Meri.

26. “Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about themagainst your will?”

Arra and yes, I’m still bitter about it.  I won’t get into it because I’d rather notmake posts like that, but if anyone would like to know feel free to message me.

27. “Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?”

Nah, they come about and the songs fit them after.

28. “Your most dangerous OC?”

Okay!  So we haveMankar Camoran’s kid, Molag Bal’s Undying Champion, a lesser Daedric Prince anda double-memoried Godkiller.  Have funwith that battle royal!

29. “Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at nightwithout telling anyone they’re going?”

Tactus Gavros Sigilis, it’s his literal job.  Wait it’s Estor’s too.  …And kinda Veabris’s.  Well!

30. “Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animalcollection?”

It’s Dreyns.  It’s soDreyns.

31. “Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like(what they reblog, layout, anything really)”

Sannit treats it like a regular website blog and only postsstories from his life or answers to asks. No reblogs and he doesn’t follow anyone.

Meri posts advanced DYI stuff and martial technique.

32. “Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonistand why?”

I don’t play horror games but I’m thinking Estor in creepy,culty fan theory version of Rorikstead. (Should I write this?)

33. “Your shyest OC?”

She’s so shy she won’t let me talk about her.

34. “Do you have any twin characters?”

Not yet!

35. “Any sibling characters?”

Yes but I won’t say just now.  Spoilers!

36. “Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else(siblings, lovers, friends etc)?”

Not currently, but I’m not against doing it.

37. “Introduce an OC who is not quite human”

The Argonian, One-Who-Knows! He’s saving up money to buy a new fancy hat right now.  Rock on, scaly bro!

38. “Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?”

I feel like it would be Vitia for some reason.

39. “Introduce any character you want!”

THESE QUESTIONS ARE TOO VAGUE AGHHHH!!

40. “Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!”

Writing “Arra’s Story” (An RP post).  The power and emotion of it and the approvingly,emotionally shocked reactions of my fellow players made me realize I couldactually write good.

41. “Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or twohere (remember sources & permissions!)”

Here and here  😊

42. “Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?”

Daedric biologist person would be!

43. “Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend tofavour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess!”

We already found out I like investigators, is that my type?

44. “Something you like about your OCs in general”

I like how they all have gotten their own personality andidentity.  It’s taken a lot of work, but Idon’t feel like personalities repeat anymore.

45. “A character you no longer use?”

I have a few in limbo. I’m not sure if they’re coming back or they’re

46. “Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?”

No.  Only because Ihaven’t told them about all the bad things I’ve done to them in the first place.

47. “Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?”

Not yet, there’s still time.

48. “OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure?”

I think they call this a “hot take”, but in my opinion everyperson has flaws and depicting them otherwise is bad character writing.  Like sure, they can be nice and all, but theystill topple the board over when they’re losing Risk (or Axis & Allies).  Showing only one side of a character seriously,(not if it’s just for laughs) is boring to me. Where’s the growth?  They don’teven need to have “flaws” per se.  Whatif the “One True Hero to Save the World” is balled up on the floor crying tothemselves because they don’t think they’re strong enough?  Hot take over and it’s probably little kidDreyns.  (Which breaks hearts because hegrows up into something not pure.)

49. “Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes”

Arra would love meme songs like “SEAGULLS! (Stop ItNow)“He-man singing “What’s up?”, and “mmm whatcha say”.  And Jaka would love reaction gifs and objectlabeling memes.

50. “Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want”

I wanna talk about how long it took to fill this out and howmany characters I resurrected from the darkest depths of my mind to completeit.  You’re welcome.  ♥

[jakejamesjournalism]

a list: the best posse cuts in hip-hip over the last 10 years.

Highlighting some of the best group efforts in rap.  To qualify, the song must have been released after July of 2009 and feature at least 4 people.  There are some incredible tracks with 3 rappers that had to be omitted...

10. Slippery- Migos ft Gucci Mane

It felt right that the list of best posse cuts started with raps premier posse. Migos, the most charismatic and star powered rap group this half of the decade shows why on Slippery, with the help of a rejuvenated Gucci Mane.  Like all their best tracks, Quavo immediately sets the tone with his great ear for melody and unpredictable cadence.  Offset seamlessly takes it from there making hilarious brags about his girl looking like a wildebeest before going into triple time about the usual suspects: Patek Phillipe, models, full throttles, and Gucci’d up collars.  Takeoff ends the song sounding possessed after Gucci gives one of the most patient and introspective verses of his life.  When it comes to posse cut trap rap, Slippery has all you’ve ever wanted in abundance.

9. All the Way Up (Remix)- Fat Joe, Jay Z, Remy Ma, French Montana & Infared

I’d venture to say this song got more mainstream airplay than any other track on this list.  Released late May of 2016, this siren glaring club ready banger was synonymous with the summer of 2016.  The song has more than most summer hits that come and go. Show-stopping verses from both Jay Z and Remy Ma make this remix a truly memorable affair.  Jay Z understood the moment, realizing the magnitude of publicly addressing Lemonade on record for the first time.  He brilliantly deflects the scathing aspects of the record and brushes it off as just another example of him getting money.  His homage to Prince is among the most emotionally resonant rap bars he’s conjured up in years…all the more so since Jay actually owns the Prince catalog.  I would love to see Jay relegate himself to an Andre 3000 type of role going forward, especially after he cemented his legacy with the late career gem 4:44.  The second half of the song belongs to Remy Ma, who makes you feel every syllable in a verse so raw and emphatic you can’t help but feel all the rage spending “7 winters and 6 summers” on vacation can build up.  South Bronx legend Fat Joe’s verse gives you a laugh and French relegated to the bridge is the perfect amount of him on this radio posse cut that offers far more than most in its class.

8. Big Beast- Killer Mike, Bun B, T.I & Trouble

There isn’t a track #1 on any hip-hop record in recent memory that just set the tone for what’s to come quite like ‘Big Beast.’  “Hardcore G-Shit! Homie I don’t play around!”  A call to arms that is just the beginning.  Listening at the time primarily out of my love for Definitive Jux.  The track, produced entirely by El-P drew me in, especially the tempo flip after Trouble’s futuristic bridge. Futuristic or not, the song is a vivid portrait of street life in Atlanta.  Full of Bun B’s wise man advice “Don’t leave till your ass get grown” and T.I’s full-bodied imagery, “A record full of felonies, searching for a better me/ But choppers go off in my hood like Iraq, Cuba, Tel Aviv.”   For five minutes you inhabit that ATL street corner.  

Killer Mike makes it clear, in order to make it in the streets of Atlanta; one must be a Big Beast.  The socially conscious rap anthem served as an unforgettable reintroduction into Killer Mike, someone I’ll admit, I always associated with as an inferior extension of Outkast and the Goodie Mob. Here Michael Render demands to be heard.  A singular vision with the power to resonate in an underground rap scene that happened to be dying for his perspective.  With Big Beast, the El-P and Killer Mike creative flood gates officially opened. Lucky for us.

7. Really Doe- Danny Brown ft. Kendrick Lamar, Ab-Soul & Earl Sweatshirt

Like all great posse tracks, the best verse shouldn’t be easy to agree on.  The down played modest hook provided by Kendrick Lamar does a good job bridging what’s most important on the track. The verses.  Every verse could be considered the best.  A hilarious manic Danny Brown who is “rolling up with them vegetables.”  Ab-Soul’s sixteen bars playfully bend his patent hardcore bars with socioeconomic realities, a verse that exemplifies all that’s ever made him a compelling emcee.  Kendrick does his thing as per usual and Earl Sweatshirt doesn’t.  In my favorite verse of the song, Earl ditches his cryptic and triple entendre tendencies for a more straight forward take a bat to your head approach.  Aggressively honest and devoid of his usual wordplay techniques, Earl ponders “I’m at your house like, ‘Why you got your couch on my Chucks?’ Motherfucker.” The comic relief is there.  Really Doe is lyrical labyrinth designated for the purist of rap fans.  Four world class emcees each with a different flow, each on top of their game. Enjoy.

6. Move that Dope- Future ft. Pusha T, Pharrell Williams & Casino

Future’s creative 360 from emo auto-tuned heart throb to drugged up nihilist was complete here.  His split from Ciara turned his heart cold and drove him into various chemical comfort zones.  Chemical zones that acted as his muse, similar to Pusha T, who finds himself right at home on a track like this.  He delivers some of the most expressive drug rap bars of the song, totally in tune with the general concept.  Someone who is a stranger to the general concept of “moving dope” is Pharrell.  Such songs aren’t usually up his alley, but Pharrell rapping on anything is usually a gift, and here is no exception.  His personal alienation from dope moving proves to be totally irrelevant as he spends time in the cosmos “frequency: high, like a spaceship” and bringing to life his personal idiosyncrasies “The Gandalf hat and the weird ass clothes, that’s Commes des Garcon and the Buffalo.”  Over menacing production from Mike-Will-Made-It, Future rings in his new sound and mantra with a group of A-list friends, one familiar with moving dope, the other familiar with constant reinvention.  Here, Future handles the scales beautifully.

5. Zip That Chop That- Black Hippy

Revisiting ‘Zip that Chop That’ makes me once again yearn for the Black Hippy album that was always promised but never came.  This overlooked early career gem was released in 2010, and provided a young white kid with his very first Kendrick Lamar exposure. Before Section.80 and Setbacks, ‘Zip That Chop That’ was all I knew. What’s amazing about Black Hippy is how easily they fall into their respected roles.  Jay Rock comes on strong as the deep voice of reason, having the rest of the crews back no matter what Compton issue may erupt. Ab-Soul acts as the groups source of comic relief, while Schoolboy Q acts as the vice, the devil on the other shoulder.  And then there’s a young Kendrick… his commentary on the plight of black Compton youth not yet legendary.  Excelling in the tracks latter third, it takes three listens to realize Kendrick is the best rapper on the song.  It’s no surprise success has came to the rap collective individually, but Zip That reminds us all some of their best material comes from them working together.

4. Oldie- Odd Future

The most influential group to any millennial ‘Left Brain’ hip hop listeners.  After Bastard I wrote off Tyler as a creative but drama seeking iconoclast, I didn’t give much else released by the collective an ear.  It wasn’t until Frank Ocean started to release music did I think to revisit odd future’s discography in a different light.  Oldie is a song that makes me glad I revisited.  Who is rapping is ultimately irrelevant, the chemistry between the worst rappers of the group and those who could be considered geniuses is uncanny.  It creates a universal feeling of friendship and community that transcends skill level.  This was taking putting your friends on to a whole new level. The talent lies in Tyler, Frank, and Earl, but for a long time the other members of the collective had roles inside the collective that held immense value to those who actually had talent.  Tyler, Frank and Earl fed off the group, all of its flaws, for better or worse.  Seeing how unwavering and passionate their belief is in their own vision, it’s clear that Odd Future was a talent incubator that ended up cultivating three of the most influential artists of the modern-day era.

3. Mercy- Kanye West, Pusha T, Big Sean & 2 Chainz

Turning the posse cut into high performance art was something Kanye spent a lot of the decade mastering.  Quite frankly, from the G.O.O.D Friday roll-outs to the standout tracks on Cruel Summer to Ultralight Beam, this entire list could’ve been comprised of Kanye orchestrated posse cuts.  Excluding Ultralight Beam, which I didn’t find qualifying enough to be featured on this list, Mercy is the most meticulously curated posse cut Kanye released.  The lead single on a project Kanye wanted to use to emphasize the depth of his label, Mercy does exactly that.  He put Pusha T and Big Sean in a position to spend the summer all over the radio, threw down a solid verse himself after an understated beat switch, all leading to the breakout performance of 2 Chainz, who’s rap career took off to stratospheric heights after his show stopping verse on Mercy. Kanye succeeded in putting all his boys on without compromising the artistry in the slightest bit. Most posse cuts will sacrifice a bit of innovation in order to focus more on the lyrics.  An old school approach to keeping posse cuts and the spirit of rap as competition alive. Once again, Kanye refuses to play by those rules. Mercy is high performance art, lyrical rap, pitch-black club banger, and total team flex all in one.

2. 1 Train- Asap Rocky ft Kendrick Lamar, Joey Bada$$, Yelawolf, Danny Brown, Action Bronson & Big K.R.I.T

The sound of ‘1 Train’ actually sounds like a train ride.  The production for this timeless epic rap track fits the narrative perfectly.  The track provides a transient urban feeling mixed with unpredictable DJ premier like scratches and gritty lo-fi drums.  It’s a beautiful canvas for hook-less rap music. It never tires, and neither do the emcees.  Every rapper featured on this track has something relevant to say from Danny Brown’s hilarious “Weed a different color like a hood rat bra and panties” observation or Action Bronson “selling Susan Sarandon.” Asap’s impressive “Bag made of Goyard, cheffin’ like I’m Boyar-Dee, probably selling D in your local courtyard” line is an emphatic change of cadence.  Big K.R.I.T declares himself a true artist on the songs final line and after delivering what could arguably be the tracks strongest verse, a true artist sounds like an understatement.   Everyone rapping punches above their weight.  The ULTIMATE posse cut.

1. Forever- Drake ft Kanye West, Lil Wayne & Eminem

Released ten years ago in August, Forever did a great job living up to its namesake.  From the Lebron starring music video to Drakes hook, Forever basically predicted the future.  Three weeks later on another platinum record Lil Wayne raps “We gon’ be alright if we put Drake on every hook.”  That era of hip hop officially started on this track.  Finding himself on a track with three legends who all decided to bring above average verses, Drake holds his own by coming up with the first of a million ubiquitous hooks.  His combination of rap skill, hook making and singing proved to be a tool set big enough to hang with the greats, even when they themselves brought their A-games.  It also opened the door to the possibility that Drake himself could be a great one day. Personally, I think it still remains to be seen, but the hooks are still catchy, and the numbers don’t lie.

[jakejames09]

Raps Best Posse Cuts of the last 10 Years.

Highlighting some of the best group efforts in rap.  To qualify, the song must have been released after July of 2009 and feature at least 4 people.  There are some incredible tracks with 3 rappers that had to be omitted..

10. Slippery- Migos ft Gucci Mane

It felt right that the list of best posse cuts started with raps premier posse. Migos, the most charismatic and star powered rap group this half of the decade shows why on Slippery, with the help of a rejuvenated Gucci Mane.  Like all their best tracks, Quavo immediately sets the tone with his great ear for melody and unpredictable cadence.  Offset seamlessly takes it from there making hilarious brags about his girl looking like a wildebeest before going into triple time about the usual suspects: Patek Phillipe, models, full throttles, and Gucci’d up collars.  Takeoff ends the song sounding possessed after Gucci gives one of the most patient and introspective verses of his life.  When it comes to posse cut trap rap, Slippery has all you’ve ever wanted in abundance.

9. All the Way Up (Remix)- Fat Joe, Jay Z, Remy Ma, French Montana & Infared

I’d venture to say this song got more mainstream airplay than any other track on this list.  Released late May of 2016, this siren glaring club ready banger was synonymous with the summer of 2016.  The song has more than most summer hits that come and go. Show-stopping verses from both Jay Z and Remy Ma make this remix a truly memorable affair.  Jay Z understood the moment, realizing the magnitude of publicly addressing Lemonade on record for the first time.  He brilliantly deflects the scathing aspects of the record and brushes it off as just another example of him getting money.  His homage to Prince is among the most emotionally resonant rap bars he’s conjured up in years…all the more so since Jay actually owns the Prince catalog.  I would love to see Jay relegate himself to an Andre 3000 type of role going forward, especially after he cemented his legacy with the late career gem 4:44.  The second half of the song belongs to Remy Ma, who makes you feel every syllable in a verse so raw and emphatic you can’t help but feel all the rage spending “7 winters and 6 summers” on vacation can build up.  South Bronx legend Fat Joe’s verse gives you a laugh and French relegated to the bridge is the perfect amount of him on this radio posse cut that offers far more than most in its class.

8. Big Beast- Killer Mike, Bun B, T.I & Trouble

There isn’t a track #1 on any hip-hop record in recent memory that just set the tone for what’s to come quite like ‘Big Beast.’  “Hardcore G-Shit! Homie I don’t play around!”  A call to arms that is just the beginning.  Listening at the time primarily out of my love for Definitive Jux.  The track, produced entirely by El-P drew me in, especially the tempo flip after Trouble’s futuristic bridge. Futuristic or not, the song is a vivid portrait of street life in Atlanta.  Full of Bun B’s wise man advice “Don’t leave till your ass get grown” and T.I’s full-bodied imagery, “A record full of felonies, searching for a better me/ But choppers go off in my hood like Iraq, Cuba, Tel Aviv.”  For five minutes you inhabit that ATL street corner. 

Killer Mike makes it clear, in order to make it in the streets of Atlanta; one must be a Big Beast.  The socially conscious rap anthem served as an unforgettable reintroduction into Killer Mike, someone I’ll admit, I always associated with as an inferior extension of Outkast and the Goodie Mob.  Here Michael Render demands to be heard.  A singular vision with the power to resonate in an underground rap scene that happened to be dying for his perspective.  With Big Beast, the El-P and Killer Mike creative flood gates officially opened. Lucky for us.

7. Really Doe- Danny Brown ft. Kendrick Lamar, Ab-Soul & Earl Sweatshirt

Like all great posse tracks, the best verse shouldn’t be easy to agree on.  The down played modest hook provided by Kendrick Lamar does a good job bridging what’s most important on the track. The verses.  Every verse could be considered the best.  A hilarious manic Danny Brown who is “rolling up with them vegetables.”  Ab-Soul’s sixteen bars playfully bend his patent hardcore bars with socioeconomic realities, a verse that exemplifies all that’s ever made him a compelling emcee.  Kendrick does his thing as per usual and Earl Sweatshirt doesn’t.  In my favorite verse of the song, Earl ditches his cryptic and triple entendre tendencies for a more straight forward take a bat to your head approach.  Aggressively honest and devoid of his usual wordplay techniques, Earl ponders “I’m at your house like, ‘Why you got your couch on my Chucks?’ Motherfucker.” The comic relief is there.  Really Doe is lyrical labyrinth designated for the purist of rap fans.  Four world class emcees each with a different flow, each on top of their game. Enjoy. 

6. Move that Dope- Future ft. Pusha T, Pharrell Williams & Casino

Future’s creative 360 from emo auto-tuned heart throb to drugged up nihilist was complete here.  His split from Ciara turned his heart cold and drove him into various chemical comfort zones.  Chemical zones that acted as his muse, similar to Pusha T, who finds himself right at home on a track like this.  He delivers some of the most expressive drug rap bars of the song, totally in tune with the general concept.  Someone who is a stranger to the general concept of “moving dope” is Pharrell.  Such songs aren’t usually up his alley, but Pharrell rapping on anything is usually a gift, and here is no exception.  His personal alienation from dope moving proves to be totally irrelevant as he spends time in the cosmos “frequency: high, like a spaceship” and bringing to life his personal idiosyncrasies “The Gandalf hat and the weird ass clothes, that’s Commes des Garcon and the Buffalo.”  Over menacing production from Mike-Will-Made-It, Future rings in his new sound and mantra with a group of A-list friends, one familiar with moving dope, the other familiar with constant reinvention.  Here, Future handles the scales beautifully. 

5. Zip That Chop That- Black Hippy

Revisiting ‘Zip that Chop That’ makes me once again yearn for the Black Hippy album that was always promised but never came.  This overlooked early career gem was released in 2010, and provided a young white kid with his very first Kendrick Lamar exposure.  Before Section.80 and Setbacks, ‘Zip That Chop That’ was all I knew.  What’s amazing about Black Hippy is how easily they fall into their respected roles.  Jay Rock comes on strong as the deep voice of reason, having the rest of the crews back no matter what Compton issue may erupt.  Ab-Soul acts as the groups source of comic relief, while Schoolboy Q acts as the vice, the devil on the other shoulder.  And then there’s a young Kendrick... his commentary on the plight of black Compton youth not yet legendary.  Excelling in the tracks latter third, it takes three listens to realize Kendrick is the best rapper on the song.  It’s no surprise success has came to the rap collective individually, but Zip That reminds us all some of their best material comes from them working together.

4. Oldie- Odd Future

The most influential group to any millennial ‘Left Brain’ hip hop listeners.  After Bastard I wrote off Tyler as a creative but drama seeking iconoclast, I didn’t give much else released by the collective an ear.  It wasn’t until Frank Ocean started to release music did I think to revisit odd future’s discography in a different light.  Oldie is a song that makes me glad I revisited.  Who is rapping is ultimately irrelevant, the chemistry between the worst rappers of the group and those who could be considered geniuses is uncanny.  It creates a universal feeling of friendship and community that transcends skill level.  This was taking putting your friends on to a whole new level. The talent lies in Tyler, Frank, and Earl, but for a long time the other members of the collective had roles inside the collective that held immense value to those who actually had talent.  Tyler, Frank and Earl fed off the group, all of its flaws, for better or worse.  Seeing how unwavering and passionate their belief is in their own vision, it’s clear that Odd Future was a talent incubator that ended up cultivating three of the most influential artists of the modern-day era.

3. Mercy- Kanye West, Pusha T, Big Sean & 2 Chainz

Turning the posse cut into high performance art was something Kanye spent a lot of the decade mastering.  Quite frankly, from the G.O.O.D Friday roll-outs to the standout tracks on Cruel Summer to Ultralight Beam, this entire list could’ve been comprised of Kanye orchestrated posse cuts.  Excluding Ultralight Beam, which I didn’t find qualifying enough to be featured on this list, Mercy is the most meticulously curated posse cut Kanye released.  The lead single on a project Kanye wanted to use to emphasize the depth of his label, Mercy does exactly that.  He put Pusha T and Big Sean in a position to spend the summer all over the radio, threw down a solid verse himself after an understated beat switch, all leading to the breakout performance of 2 Chainz, who’s rap career took off to stratospheric heights after his show stopping verse on Mercy. Kanye succeeded in putting all his boys on without compromising the artistry in the slightest bit. Most posse cuts will sacrifice a bit of innovation in order to focus more on the lyrics.  An old school approach to keeping posse cuts and the spirit of rap as competition alive. Once again, Kanye refuses to play by those rules. Mercy is high performance art, lyrical rap, pitch-black club banger, and total team flex all in one.

2. 1 Train- Asap Rocky ft Kendrick Lamar, Joey Bada$$, Yelawolf, Danny Brown, Action Bronson & Big K.R.I.T

The sound of ‘1 Train’ actually sounds like a train ride.  The production for this timeless epic rap track fits the narrative perfectly.  The track provides a transient urban feeling mixed with unpredictable DJ premier like scratches and gritty lo-fi drums.  It’s a beautiful canvas for hook-less rap music. It never tires, and neither do the emcees.  Every rapper featured on this track has something relevant to say from Danny Brown’s hilarious “Weed a different color like a hood rat bra and panties” observation or Action Bronson “selling Susan Sarandon.” Asap’s impressive “Bag made of Goyard, cheffin’ like I’m Boyar-Dee, probably selling D in your local courtyard” line is an emphatic change of cadence.  Big K.R.I.T declares himself a true artist on the songs final line and after delivering what could arguably be the tracks strongest verse, a true artist sounds like an understatement.  Everyone rapping punches above their weight.  The ULTIMATE posse cut.

1. Forever- Drake ft Kanye West, Lil Wayne & Eminem

Released ten years ago in August, Forever did a great job living up to its namesake.  From the Lebron starring music video to Drakes hook, Forever basically predicted the future.  Three weeks later on another platinum record Lil Wayne raps “We gon’ be alright if we put Drake on every hook.”  That era of hip hop officially started on this track.  Finding himself on a track with three legends who all decided to bring above average verses, Drake holds his own by coming up with the first of a million ubiquitous hooks.  His combination of rap skill, hook making and singing proved to be a tool set big enough to hang with the greats, even when they themselves brought their A-games.  It also opened the door to the possibility that Drake himself could be a great one day. Personally, I think it still remains to be seen, but the hooks are still catchy, and the numbers don’t lie. 

[hortascountrysidenotes]

The dawn of a new passion

For many many years I have had a yearning to paint flowers in watercolour - the old botanical paintings hold a fascination and admiration for the detail of the work but time has usually been at a premium and it has always been a case of “one day”. Well that day finally dawned on Monday and I was lucky enough to be one of a group of six for a two day course - brilliant in that it was only ten minutes down the road, and even more brilliant in the teacher who is one of the foremost botanical artists in the country - Isobel Bartholomew.  It was a revelation not least because of all the techniques and patience required, but also due to the wonderfully calming aspect!  5 hours each day with no phones, no dogs to walk, total immersion and happy conversation of course takes one back to another era and how good it felt.  I am inspired to continue and am sure it will be a wonderful thing for the winter months, making birthday cards and presents and all sorts of joys.

The garden has had a very turbulent few weeks - heavy rain - still welcome but still bashing the roses!  Some days very warm and humid and others like today quite cool - heavy air but a coolish breeze from the coast and very low grey cloud.

Despite that, there are some joys.  The sweet peas are in full flow.  The first courgettes are forming up.  Tomatoes are swelling in the greenhouse.  The first of some new Monarda bought whilst visiting Miserden garden in Gloucestershire last August are about to burst into colour.  The first Dahlia Obsidian flower is peeking up - not as tall as I had expected but perhaps it will get taller now we have had rain.  The roses are a continual delight and a couple in particular are currently the stars - Hebe’s Lip, a rose I first saw at Mottisfont is dripping with flowers and heavy with scent and my most favourite climber Ghislaine de Feligonde adorns the back door.

On the wildlife department all seems good - the wren family always amuses us - they head for their roost while we are having supper so if it is warm and we are outside, we watch them ducking and diving along the back of the house using every bush and climber available to avoid breaking cover.  There is a constant chipping and chukking as they make their way along, with the parents chiding them if they stop to do something on the way.  The swallows are very competent now and flit about all day - it wont be long before the mother starts laying again if she has not already done so.  We are also amused by two woodmice on the bird table in the evenings and now a pair of field voles have joined in.  Luckily one of their bigger cousins has been summarily despatched by Miss Horta - and retrieved by the indomitable Scout.

Today we had a splendid walk at Morston - the girls had their best friends in the whole world with them - Maisy and Hattie and we walked across Cockthorpe Common, along the side of North Fen, up onto the coast path and back to Morston.  We managed to do some good simple dummy work for the dogs on the common where we had the benefit of a HILL to make the dogs run up for a retrieve.  Mavis did better, I have changed my voice - more of an excited whisper now, could this give us the breakthrough we have been striving for over two and a half years to gee her up enough to zoom off without the benefit of shots and feathered quarry!  We shall report after a couple more sessions.

Mowing is taking on a new challenge which is leaving large areas of clover so it can flower as the bumble bees are constantly working it.  Consequently it looks a bit like a maze with little mown paths going manically in strange directions.  I am pulling up nettles in the rough areas as they do not enhance them, and as the common is packed with them and the numbers of butterflies is still not great, there would seem to be more benefit from grasses and wildflowers filling their voids. 

The wildflowers are doing really well, and we now have 3 orchids in the garden meadow strips from the one orchid I dug up from the Agapanthus pot and planted out last autumn.  No one thought there was a hope in hell that it would do anything as I had probably upset all the mycelium whoojamaflip but success!!  and a beautiful bee orchid down the common near our bees!  First one we have ever seen on the common.  The new cows are coming out daily - there has been a bit of excitement as the initial attempt with 21 yearlings was not a success and they shot off in the wrong direction and then refused to be moved from a corner by our bees.  Finally they were forced into another paddock and then locked in their shed for 4 days to calm down.  The mixed age lot were brought up - all new to Brisley Common, and they are very well behaved.  A lovely shorthorn bull and mixed cows and followers.  All very bucolic and all providing yummy creamy poo for greedy labradors. - mentioning no names Mavis.

Hoping to have a full day in the garden on Friday - pears and apples need thinning to one or two per cluster.  Not netting redcurrants this year as still have loads of jelly from last year and just made some Redcurrant and Red Onion Relish with the last from the freezer.  Also made some delicious Gooseberry and Fennel seed jam - absolutely delicious.  All the edges need doing after the rain, the last of the Tellima needs cutting back - have finished the Brunnera bar one small patch at the front.  The Geranium phaeums will now be ready too.  Iris all over so note to self to divide a few towards the back end of July, keeping fresh new sections of rhizomes and discarding old flowered pieces.  Roses will need a huge deadhead when over and a feed to follow.  Box hedging is all but finished - the weather has actually been perfect for that - always best if cut wet and on a cloudy day - it has been fed with a liquid foliar feed - Top Buxus.

HORTA

[fullfrequencycollective]

FFC002: ‘Yosemite’ by Jake Newcomb

I’m excited about FFC002. In April, Full Frequency Collective will release the album Yosemite by Jake Newcomb on cassette, marking the first (and possibly only) physical release of the 2018 album.

In my opinion, Yosemite is one of the best albums of the past many years. I spent my summer last year obsessed with it. I played it during many commutes to and from my many jobs, on all kinds of trains and highways in New Jersey, Manhattan, and Brooklyn. 

There’s no new episode of the podcast today--instead of listening to Jake and I talk about the album, go listen to the album, which is out now on Spotify, Apple Music, and Bandcamp (links below). While you’re listening, you can read a track-by-track commentary on the record, written by Jake, which I’m publishing below. We’ll be back to the regular podcast schedule next week.

Per usual, 50% of the total that our Patreon makes over the next two months will by donated to a cause our featured artist believes in. Jake chose to support the Sierra Club with this release. The Sierra Club is a grassroots organization of volunteers dedicated to conservation; their stated mission is: “To explore, enjoy, and protect the wild places of the earth; To practice and promote the responsible use of the earth's ecosystems and resources; To educate and enlist humanity to protect and restore the quality of the natural and human environment; and to use all lawful means to carry out these objectives.” You can read more about the Sierra Club and what they do by visiting www.sierraclub.org.

Patrons at the $5 level for April will receive a green Yosemite cassette tape packaged in a sleeve made from 100% recycled paper. The whole thing will be tied with twine, and Jake will handwrite the title of the record and track listing on each of the 25 copies we’re printing.

Listen to Yosemite now:

Spotify

Apple Music

Bandcamp

I hope you grow to love this album as much as I do. I think it’s a special piece of music and I’m eternally grateful to Jake for trusting me with it.

- John

A Track-By-Track Commentary on Yosemite

by Jake Newcomb

Yosemite is my first solo album, and it was very challenging to make, both physically and mentally. I believe the album is good, but the stories of the songs themselves are as important to me as the quality of the music. I wanted to give some commentary on the tracks to anyone interested.

Track 1: “Troubles” (Summer 2016)

“Troubles” began as a few assorted slap-guitar riffs that I began developing while on a cruise with my family in the Caribbean, right after I graduated from college. I began playing the chorus guitar riff on a balcony on the ship while we were heading to the island, and really dug into the direction of the song while playing on a beach in the Caribbean. I wasn’t able to put down any lyrics, or finish the structure of the song until a year later, at the beginning of the next summer. But within that year long delay between first conceptualizing and finally finishing the track, I jammed on that riff weekly, almost every day. I knew that it was something special. Initially, lyrically, I imagined it would have something to do with feelings associated with NYC winters (originally I had a running title on a demo as “Winters in NY”). A similar theme survived into the final version of the song, and the themes of friendship and empathy emerged. When I was finishing the song a year later, I tried to write chorus lyrics every day for a week, obsessively. It wasn’t until I began vocalizing “Ooos” over the chorus that I realized that it needed no lyrics, that the guitar was doing all the work anyway. It remains one of my favorite guitar riffs I’ve ever written.

Track 2: “Cross Town Train” (Fall 2016)

“Cross Town Train” was way longer when I first wrote it. It was also slower; I wrote it as a ballad. American Part Two, the band I was in at the time, demoed an early version of the song for an EP we were conceptualizing, but we ended up not using it. I wrote the majority of what became the finished song in one night, and I instantly knew that I had something good. The lyrics flowed out of me. Looking back, writing this song seriously began the writing-process for the entire album. It had been a very long time since I had written a song that had felt as real to me as this song, since I wrote songs years earlier for my old band, Cross Town Train, hence its title. Lyrically, the song is me trying to reckon with the reality of aging, and the immense power of nostalgia, especially in regards to falling in love. There is a deep yearning in the lyrics for youth and freedom—two things I felt evaporating in the moment—and an attempt to explain to a significant other how those realizations came to be omnipresent in my mind. I tried to express the deep conflict between reality and idealism that affects many of us in our early twenties. Which gave “Cross Town Train” a new meaning to me in the context of these themes: an escape from the conditions that we are left with.

Track 3: “Pure” (Winter 2017)

“Pure” was a follow up to Cross Town Train and was, in effect, the reality of life pulling the idealism out from under me. While the lyrics detail a relationship coming un-seamed, for me the song holds a deeper significance. An abrupt end to a relationship was a factor, but the song was born out of a harsher climax of circumstances that terrified me. In that way, this song was a revelation that things as I knew it were wrong, that somewhere along the line I had miscalculated many other factors in my life, which made the end of the relationship all the more tragic. It was an epiphany. Writing it denoted the complete end of one era of my life, and the beginning of a new one. I had Alex and Fred from America Part Two feature on the track, because they were there when I wrote it, and we tracked it together as a band, but never released it. We recorded a version of the song together on a cheap acoustic guitar, but I re- recorded it on a piano while making the record.

Track 4: “Die Alone” (Winter 2017)

Die Alone is the most aggressive song on the album, and I was scared to write it. The lyrics grapple with a fear of death. Specifically, I attempted to elucidate not just a personal fear of dying alone, but the fear of a loved one dying a lonely death. The song begins in 7/4, which I think starts the song at a frantic pace. It dovetails with the lyricism in a way that I love. I wrote the vocal melody following what the lead guitar is playing, which I do not often do, but I think worked well in this case. The vocal takes I did on the track were some of the best I’ve ever done, and are probably my favorite takes from the entire album. On most of the record, I sing softly, but I had to belt this song to match the intensity of the instrumentals. I wrote it maybe a week after I wrote “Pure,” and in my mind, it is a direct response to that track. This was another song that we demoed for America Part Two but didn’t make the cut. When I brought it back to the table for Yosemite, I changed some of the lyrics and made a few tweaks. Those tweaks were the last real changes I made to the album before I went into the studio.

Track 5: “Sparky” (Fall 2016)

“Sparky” is the centerpiece. In the fall of 2016, my family’s yellow labrador retriever, Sparky, passed away. The next day, my dad and I jammed on D Major and this song came out of that session. To me, D Major sounds like how sunshine feels. Sparky had been suffering for months before she passed, and we were all worried about her. We were very upset when she passed, but relieved that her suffering was over. Of every song on the record, this one brings me the most joy.

Track 6: “Warped Tour” (Spring 2017)

“Warped Tour” was written as the winter was finally ending, and I could finally sit on my back porch and play guitar outside again. For some reason, as I was playing on that porch I began to think back to about a decade earlier, when my friends and I first started to get into music. Events like the Vans Warped Tour superseded holidays in our minds, because we could experience live music and the culture surrounding it in abundance. It was a whole new world, and one that sent myself and countless people I know on long journeys playing music, touring, philosophizing music, worshipping it. While writing, I was unaware that the Warped Tour would come to an end in 2018, but by that point, I had stopped attending, as my music tastes had shifted significantly from what the festival was promoting. With the lyricism of this song, I tried to contrast the present I was living with the rose-colored past of experiencing music for the first time. I got one of my best friends, Eoin, to sing the bridge. We were in Cross Town Train together, and many of my memories of pure love of music are from experiences with him. The song wouldn’t be the same without him.

Track 7: “Little Things” (Summer 2017)

“Little Things” was the first song I had ever written on the piano. At the time, I had a keyboard in my kitchen, and my friends and I would often gather around the table and play songs around it. Through that, I started practicing and learning the chords and transposing songs from guitar to the keyboard. There is an early recording somewhere of myself, Eoin, Fred, and Mike playing “Little Things” around the keyboard, everyone with their own instruments (guitar, maracas, harmonica.) I had just heard a news report that the ice in the Antarctic was melting at a way faster rate than scientists had been predicting. It was pretty big news that summer, and inspired me lyrically. I knew from an early point that I wanted to have a guest vocalist sing the second verse, and was extremely lucky that Avery Mandeville was available to sing it. Her takes were perfect, and I couldn’t believe the harmonies in the second chorus were real. We met at an open mic that she hosted. I would go there to practice playing by myself, which seriously helped me prepare to record a solo album. In that way, she helped out more with the album than just lending her voice.

Track 8: “I Wish That We Were In Love” (Summer 2017)

“I Wish That We Were In Love” challenged me as a songwriter more than maybe any other song I had written in my life at that point. Several of the riffs I had been playing around with for years, but when I finally sat down that summer to write a song using them, it was extremely difficult. I knew that the song was going to be long, but for a few weeks, I constantly edited the song, added new parts, removed others, wrote new lyrics. It is the only song on the record in Drop D tuning, which was awesome. The song is in D Major, and downtuning the low E to D made the D chords sound more substantial than they would have sounded in standard tuning. At the time, Alex, Fred, and I had a garage where we would practice. Every night, I would work on this song in the garage, trying out new additions and subtractions. I wrestled with this song for so long until I finally got it to a place where I felt comfortable with it. And then I got to the studio, and Adam made some seriously incredible suggestions on further changes which gave the song much needed brevity and action. Lyrically, this song was an attempt to tell the story of a complex relationship, and I think the transitions the song moves through accentuate those complexities. Out of everything on the record, I think this song is in its own little category for me, as the experimental one.

Track 9: “Yosemite” (Summer 2017)

I wrote “Yosemite” overlooking Yosemite Valley in California. A few days earlier in San Francisco, I bought a miniature acoustic guitar with nylon strings, which I tuned to A instead of E. On my final day in San Francisco, I started playing around with the guitar by the Bay, jamming riffs, looking towards the Golden Gate Bridge. A few days later, I turned those riffs into the song Yosemite during my final full day in Northern California. I knew as I was writing it that I had just completed something significant. And when I stood up after writing the song to take a picture of the Valley, I knew I had just taken the album cover of my first full-length album. Up until that point, I had never conceptualized any of the other songs as belonging to a whole. Following that experience, the entire previous year had become reframed in my mind, and all of the songs connected as a record. I will never forget it.