#in my patpran feels again

[inventedfangirling]

PatPran & the Bet Era™

A week ago Bad Buddy PatPran Bet Era discourse started heating up again and i thought i should finally try to put to words my unending (that's in BOLD so you know what to expect :3) all consuming thoughts about this most brilliant, jam-packed with funny, heartfelt and equally wholesome moments of an episode- episode 7, an episode that I have watched a minimum of 14 times in the past 2 months and so yes finally, here I am, let's go.

Before anything else though I first want to scream about something i realized while writing this post which is that episode 7/ bet era is probably THE ONLY time in the whole show where PatPran truly and completely enjoyed having and keeping their secret. Like they were truly thriving off of the fun they were having at the expense of and with the other. And keeping it hidden only added to that experience.

With the whole world oblivious to what's going on between them, the secret is undemanding, mostly easy and even fun to keep cos the bet was for them and just for them...

...unlike a relationship which they would want to experience around other people too.

But for an episode that leaves you with so many good feelings (after the first watch) it is quite easy to forget just how much it took to get to that ending. Episode 7 Pran still had his reservations about their possible relationship and he still had to work through years and years of repression and trauma. Episode 7 Pat too was not always in the best frame of mind, because while all else was said and done they were still in an in-between, unlabeled, unprecedented and unfamiliar space in their dynamic. One that a simple uncomplicated guy like Pat would loathe to continue to stay in. And yet for an episode set on such an underlying premise for the most part they made this liminal space appear as such a fun, warm, wholesome and enjoyable place to be in that there are times when we forget the shakiness of the foundation of it all -> A still undefined rival-turned-friend-situation-ship.

And in the light of this, episode 7 can easily be seen as a microcosm of their incredibly layered relationship and the show as such and when packaged in such an attractive, intriguing, exciting, seldom seen set-up (that was designed to subvert years of terrible tropes in the industry) who wouldn't sign tf up for it. If i could live in an episode of the show, it'd most probably be episode 7. If i was asked to name an episode to rewatch forever it would be episode 7. If asked to write endlessly on my thoughts about the show again it would be episode 7 that would take a substantial part of it cos i just love it that much.

Here's some secret footage of Pran feeling all warm and fuzzy over thoughts of him and Pat me any time i think about episode 7.

Alright now actually getting into the episode, we know that Pran was still deciding when and how exactly to progress with his now reciprocated feelings for Pat yes, but he was also finally getting a space to express his long held affection for Pat without having to pretend otherwise.

Without rolling his eyes and "reluctantly" letting him in. Without pretending to scold him for "stealing" his breakfast when he had in fact made it for Pat himself. Without stopping himself from getting closer. Without the numerous restrictions he had placed on himself, the bet era finally gave Pran space to care for Pat openly but also unleashed the romantic in him (not that i'm ignoring the fact that Pran wrote a whole song about Pat in high school, but you geddit).

And eventhough none of his schemes to make Pat confess worked, (Pat confessed on his own like he would have on the first day of the bet if Pran had allowed him to talk about it), the baby steps he was taking was crucial for laying the base for their eventual relationship, but also for Pran as an individual making significant strides in learning to be vulnerable and more open.

It not only gave Pran opportunities to try out a lot of things, helping him figure out along the way what Pat likes and what he doesn't, and what Pran himself would like to do to and with him, things that a younger Pran would have died to have gotten the opportunity to do with Pat- the cooking, the feeding, the prolonged charged eye contact, the physical proximity (and I will never stop being devastated but also delighted over the fact that baby gay pran would be thinking that he's dreaming if he could see his future) but also of course the bet gave Pran time to process his own issues while it operated on the familiar turf of competition, with his fav and only rival and boy, and allowed him freedom to think and act in ways he wouldn't have earlier.

The seeds to Pran's "being with you already feels like freedom" to Pat in episode 11, were sown right here in this very episode. What he learnt and absorbed during this time expanded his field of vision regarding the possibilities of his own life and the power he had over his own choices, broadened his emotional horizons and quite literally opened his heart.

While earlier the dark shadow of his closed off heart would loom large over his face each time his feelings surfaced...

....post bet era Pran's face could fuel a couple of hundred thousand solar panels.

Pre-bet Pran loved Pat of course. But the feelings of love that bet era and post bet era Pran exude, is of a wholly different texture. It's borne of a more layered, luminous sort of love. The one that gets to be expressed and is reciprocated. And you observe the look of love on his face and its is as if he glows from inside out.

It's based on the foundation of reciprocation and therefore no longer something that needs to be hidden from the receiver, but it's also as if he learnt to love in a different way, like he learnt that he could love this way too, that he could make use of his heart this way too. Post bet era Pran's love just flows out of him in waves, nice and easy, minimal repression and none of the doubt that accompanied it earlier.

And at this point I can't not mention the swagger that Pran gains post Pat's episode 6 reveal (that he didn't have feelings for ink), finally secure in the knowledge that Pat really feels the same love that he feels for the other, his whole demeanor changes and its something that just hits you immediately.

The assurance and confidence of reciprocation in his face, contrasting with the hesitation and doubt each time he allowed himself to feel pre-bet (as if each time he is looking at Pat 'loving you is a losing game' plays in the background) is just remarkable. And that confidence just increases each episode and i was LIVING for it.

And again, back to episode 7 and my point which is that Pran has loved Pat for years and years by then but all that time his love was something to hide, his heart was closed off and barred from any encroachment no matter how ineffective it was against Pat. It was the bet era that allowed Pran's heart to undergo a renewal, a second coming, a rebirth so to say, of a heart that is no longer so boarded up and closed off, a heart with a lot more windows and a few more better oiled doors and a heart that most importantly Pran would eventually, wholeheartedly hand Pat the keys to.

In many ways we can see Pran's growth beyond this episode, from the "I care about you more" to the "I came quickly because i was worried about you" to "how can i stop if i think of it like that" to the brave way he stands up to both Ming & Dissaya all of it in the span of a few weeks, all of it as borne from the lessons he learnt during the bet era.

Pat also went through his own growth during this time. I have already talked a bit about the episode focusing on Pat's side of the things here. While not as evident as Pran's growth was during this episode (but only because we see him transform more gradually over the course of the first few episodes itself) Pat also learns to use his heart in newer ways that veered off a bit from how he had pre bet era. For the most part though the bet was more of a fun thing for him than it was for Pran for whose sake Pat even agreed to this in the first place.

And so while Pran tries to make Pat confess, Pat defers the confession because he knows that Pran needs more time, and Pat takes to that reality and adapts to it so beautifully, with such wisdom that's so above and beyond what could be expected from a 19-20 year old man, the thought of it still takes my breath away and turns me into a puddle.

Just look at just how careful and gentle Pat is with Pran. And think of how much he has grown and how much he will grow from here. Think of Pat as a child telling Pran to not talk to him in front of people cos "they will think we're buddies". And then years later (in episode 8 and beyond) think of him wishing wishing oh so desperately to proclaim his love for Pran out to the world, for Pran to let him do that, to claim their relationship and celebrate their love. I WILL NOT BE OVER THIS. Or anything in this episode/show actually. Cos it really is that special. Episode 7 Pat my beloved did that.

That being said, it ofc wouldn't have been all easy and he would have had his share of upsets. The confusion, the lack of clarity, the staying in the limbo, the lack of any tangible progress could all have deterred him. There is also the fact that Pat doesn't strike you as a patient guy. He is the first born male child in a patriarchal asian household having been pampered as a result of this his whole life. His every whim and wish probably granted within days. And yet for the bet, for their relationship, for Pran he learns to be patient. He learns to bide his time. He learns to not immediately take action without thinking (the time he silently walks away from Pran's room post Wai's guitar return, he could have said some hurtful things, but he didn't, he bit his tongue, kept quiet and moved on).

{I am totally in the camp of "we should have gotten a 'how could you give it away Pran?' conversation after this scene but i also understand why it didn't happen}

Over the course of the episode and his time with Pran in general, right from the beginning Pat steadily starts learning to put the other person first. To cater to people around him and not for them to cater to him, always. We see this transformation begin in episode 3 itself when Pat just goes out of his way (multiple times) to help Pran out, but that is at least partly in due to his new found need to be around Pran (courtesy his crush that he is still not aware of) and not as much a conscious effort to be better. Although ofc that is there too. His transformation from entitled boy in the episode 1 family lunch scene to the considerate helpful man in the finale family dinner scene is so stark you might think they're two different people, and a lot of that growth is owed to what he learnt and unlearned while he was falling in love with Pran.

He learns to read Pran. The feelings that won't be uttered with words, but the ones he'd have to pry out from his eyes. And he does all of that while still being respectful of any boundaries that Pran may have, while also testing the waters to come closer.

I know i've used gifs from this face cleaning scene thrice already but i just love it so much?? I love how it might look like just a fluffy scene but the layers?? Just how deep and meaningful and just full of substance it is??? I might need to write a whole essay for that itself. And also when you think about it what i said about this scene could literally be said about bad buddy (and the whole of episode 7 for that matter). With an uncritical eye you can watch it as the beautifully executed romance(cute fluffy episode) that it is. But when you unearth the layers whoa boy thats where the real beauty of the show (episode) comes out. But also this is extra special because this is the first scene where we get to see Pran completely softening when Pat tends to him. His adoring melting puddle looks reserved usually for when Pat's attention isn't entirely on him. But this time he lets himself be softened. Lets himself feel. Lets himself be babied. And even if non verbally he lets himself express, agreeing to move closer and tracing hearts on Pat's face. It is more than just a cute moment, it's a small declaration of faith. Among the first in a long series of declarations of faith that led to the ending we ended up loving.

So yes, Pat was learning to use his heart in a different way too, to love in quieter more mundane yet still special ways, but also learning to respond to Pran's emotions, and the repressed ways he sometimes continued to express his feelings, he learnt to read between the lines, not jump to hasty conclusions he would have done earlier and was thus steadily progressing into the partner that Pran could trust his heart with always.

Episode 7 shows us how patpran changed and molded themselves in various ways to fit into the other, but it also shows how they change to accommodate not just the other, but also the world. Not in a compromising way, but in a way that allows them to function in it more effectively and later on in the fake break up era, diabolically using it to pull wool over the eyes of anybody who threatens their peace.

Also i wont go into it in detail here but it is entirely possible that Pat was going through a spiral of his own issues during this time because of worries fueled by insecurities due to the fragile nature of their relationship at that point and the lack of certainty in the situation like I talk about here, but even if he was feeling all of that, even in that in-between state of limbo Pat had tons and tons of fun teasing Pran and trying to outdo him each time and we know that his cheery exterior which he may have put forward occasionally to keep it light for pran wasn't just for show, he really did enjoy the whole push-pull thing they had got going on, his smiles popping out when alone too.

I mean look at his delight each time one of their(Pran's) plans to outwit the other fails.

The bet era was without a doubt a VERY fun time for both of them (and for all of us watching) the flirting, the teasing, the act of courting one another, the familiar feeling of competition and the easy sense of play that pervades their interactions during that period....

...everything, everything, everything was just * chef's kiss *.

And also I still can't get over the fact that it's the only time the secret is theirs and only theirs and they have THE BEST TIME keeping it.

And also if Pran was able to shed his loving you is a losing game attitude to finally accept the love that Pat offered, it was possible in no small amount due to Pat's willingness to lose to Pran over and over again if that meant he was happy. And Pran having had to harbour a long drawn painful unrequited love for years and years, used to all the repression and self denial, he really needed that assurance, that dependability. And Pat readily gave it to him because that's just the way he loved. Fully, freely and fiercely. And you won't ever catch me feeling normal about any of that ever.

And also speaking of things i wont be normal about that scene at the end when Pat arrives to save the day and all eyes are on him and the flashback to Pat's audition with his callback to their rooftop conversation and Pran's 'fuck i love him so much i can't believe he's doing this here' face oozing pure love and then present PatPran exuding the sun looking at eo, with Forever May playing in the background, that scene? That scene is everything to me. I will die for that scene.

So to recap, Pat flexed his emotional intelligence muscles and his literal actual muscles and learnt to be more patient than he had ever been his whole life, meanwhile Pran got to flex his flirting skills, looming skills all while he learnt to let go, express and be more vulnerable.

And also not to forget that apart from all the space for growth that the bet provided patpran it also allowed them to indulge in their love for shenanigans and roleplaying that continues well into their relationship even years later, more on that in the ever amazing miscellar's post here . There are so many more posts of their's and a buncha other accounts i really want to reference but then we'd be here for days if not weeks and so i wont :3

And also I can't not take a second to mention just how wonderful it was that throughout this episode we see the seeds being sown of all the ways they and their relationship would grow, and especially when it came to consent and boundaries. Just how equal their relationship is. How they're always, always meeting in the middle.

No interaction, nothing is initiated without knowing what the other wouldn't want. And of course both PatPran were being respectful of each other's non existent boundaries with eo, they were all up in each other's faces but you just know that if one of them expressed actual discomfort the other would step away immediately.

And thats just so so rare not only in dramas but also real life and i love them so much for it.

Episode 7 showed us not only how patpran became better partners to eo but also better human beings as such, their influence on one another so evident, molding them on a fundamental level into better versions of themselves. Pran who gifts a bottle of liquor (to the man who ruined the better part of his & his mother's life) as a peace offering but also as a sort of pre-engagement ritual, choosing to open up, to be vulnerable, to love more loudly, being a more well adjusted adult and he did it for Pat, because of the lessons he learnt from Pat. And Pat who learns to read between the lines, who recognizes the value of gestures that might appear small but aren't, offering to wash dishes, serving food to his sister and in general taking responsibility and also the importance of order and routine to contribute to society and just be a well functional adult, and he learnt it in no small amount from being inspired from the man he loves, from Pran.

But all of that of course is in full splendor only after the time skip. That being said Episode 8 that comes immediately after this episode shows PatPran taking the lessons they started learning in episode 7 and putting it into effect with them openly communicating, asserting their needs but also compromising their wants for each other and illustrated exactly how and why they work together so well, why this isn't the product of a childish bet but a very serious relationship into which a lot of thought and effort has gone into.

A relationship based on the softest, kindest, most tender (but also often, feral) forms of love even in the more hostile of circumstances. There's a saying in my mother tongue that "What's born in the fire, won't wilt in the sunlight." And that to me perfectly captures PatPran's resilience despite their obstacles. Ming & Dissaya & the Architecture-Engineering rivalry and whatever other hurdles stood in their way never really stood a chance against their love.

TLDR; The bet era played an irreplaceable role in their lives helping PatPran pick up and refine the tools that were going to prove invaluable in their eventual relationship with each other but also with their relationships with everybody else around, but they did that while having (for the most part) the time of their lives where for the first time since they realized their feelings they were getting to act on it, each attempt at getting the other to confess a declaration of their own love, without the pressure of a relationship and...and despite whatever anxieties or worries they may have had during this time, we also can't forget that it ended up in the biggest most content whipped in love smiles known to humankind and a relationship for the ages <3

The work they put in this episode thus laid the foundation for the rest of their relationship and their lives and I'm so glad it worked out in the best way for both of them, that they worked for that together and even more that they grew up and beyond the versions of them that got together and then stayed together as the better versions that they made together.

[airenyah]

How BAD BUDDY SERIES | EP.11 [4/4] Tricked the Fandom

Those who were there watching Bad Buddy live will remember the chaos that ensued after episode 11 (my beloved) and with it the episode 12 preview (derogatory) dropped. Watching a happy and hopeful episode, ending in a lovely montage with an even lovelier song, being told things such as "we became two people who can’t be just friends" or "I want you to know that this world can’t change someone like me either", only to be punched in the gut by "Pat and I broke up" in the very next moment. Those of you who were there will remember how – after the fandom had finally picked up its shattered pieces – there was a scramble to figure out what the hell was happening exactly, how the hell we even got to this point.

And you will also remember the fandom deciding on a specific scene being The Breakup Scene. But how can that be? How can a breakup scene even exist when we know (in retrospective) that they never actually broke up? Did the fandom just collectively hallucinate a scene that wasn't there?

Well, no. Of course not. I think the reason why it worked, the reason why this scene managed to trick the fandom into believing that this was actually the breakup talk was because for one terrifying moment Pran himself thinks it's a breakup talk. However, the fandom was so blinded by the ep 12 preview that it completely missed one key factor from that scene which Pran did realize: it's not in fact a breakup, but the exact opposite of it.

So let's get into it, let's take a closer look at Bad Buddy Ep. 11 [4/4] (01:58 - 05:15) and Pran's emotional rollercoaster during this specific scene:

The scene starts out with Pat sitting on the bench, lost in thought. His exact thought process here is for the viewer to decide, but whatever he is reflecting on has to do with him finally accepting the inevitability of having to back home. And considering his upcoming monologue, he's probably also thinking about his love for Pran and Pran's love for him.

His thinking gets interrupted when Pran walks into the scene, dangling the shirts into Pat's face. They have an interaction about the shirts, Pat puts one on while Pran can't keep his hands off of him, they exchange some words and Pran doesn't really notice Pat's pensive mood, when suddenly –

Pat grabs Pran's hand. Pran was not expecting that, and he looks up at Pat in surprise, asking a silent What is it, what's going on? And I think it's only here that Pran really notices the weird mood Pat is in.

Pat says "thank you" and although Pran looks concerned about Pat's sudden mood change, Pat's words also make Pran smile, though he's still very confused, having absolutely no context for Pat's emotional state and thus having no idea where this is suddenly coming from. "Thank you for what?" Pran asks, still with that searching look in his eyes that asks What's gotten into you all of a sudden? Is everything alright?

Pat replies "For trying to make a silly guy like me happy". And Pran's smile falls just a little bit as he realizes that this? really isn't just Pat being his usual sappy self, this right here is a Serious™ conversation indeed:

Finally, Pran too has arrived in serious mode completely. He now shifts his attention fully to Pat, listening intently to Pat's words, staying focused on Pat the entire time.

Pat says "I know that sooner or later we will need to go back." This gets a very subtle smile out of Pran (you can see how the corner of his mouth on the right side of the screen goes up just a tiniest bit):

Pran reacts to those words, because this has been their conflict throughout the entire episode so far: Pran being realistic, having accepted from the start that they would have to return at some point while Pat was so desperately trying to stay in that pretense that they could just make a new life somewhere else and not turn back, refusing to acknowledge that in the long run this just wouldn't work out. But now Pat is finally acknowledging this, letting Pran know that he understands and that they're on the same page about this. "I know too well",* Pat says and Pran looks like he's about to cry from adoration for Pat pls he's so in love takes that acknowledgement in, still with a hint of a smile on his face.

*(Side note: I seem to hear ทำไม​กูจะไม่รู้ว่ะ (tammai-goo-jà-mâi-róo-wâ) and I think the more literal translation of this sentence would actually be something like "Why wouldn't I know?". Though I'd have to ask a Thai native to confirm as I don't trust my own Thai skills yet. Anyway, I just thought the rhetorical question was interesting in regard to Pran reacting to Pat's statement, bc the rhetorical question addresses Pran more directly compared to the declarative sentence from the subtitles. His reaction is kind of like a reply to that rhetorical question.)

But that hint of a smile is wiped right off Pran's face when Pat continues with "But I just want to stay as long as we can."

And this the moment where the thought hits Pran for the first time that Pat's speech might actually lead to a breakup. He is confused (why would they need to break up over this?) and there is now fear and worry in his eyes. He looks a little scared, his mouth twitches a little, accompanied by the tiniest headshake and there are many questions written all over his face: What are you talking about?? Where is this going?? No, it can't be... Are you implying what I think you're implying?? I don't follow...

And Pat just keeps going: "Be with you for at least one more day."

One more day. That very much does sound like a breakup, doesn't it? Especially if you're already half expecting one. This line confirms Pran's fear of Pat actually being in the process of ending their relationship, leaving Pran on the verge of tears.

But Pran is a fighter and he's not giving in that easily. He sniffs away his rising tears and says "What are you talking about? Get dressed. The bar is opening soon."

What are you saying? We're not breaking up. We're staying here, we'll work at the bar and we'll be together. It'll be fine, don't worry.

Now it's Pran's turn to deflect. To indulge in that fantasy of being able to just run away together into the sunset where everything is all sunshine and rainbows. Because Pran would much rather face the hardships that they might run into if they actually stayed at the beach together than go back home to live a life without Pat. I can be anywhere as long as I have you.

If this is Pat letting him go, Pran really doesn't want to hear it:

Unfortunately, the scene cuts to Pat really quickly, but I just need you all to appreciate Pran's pouty puppy eyes at the end there, because they're the saddest thing I've ever seen:

I won't let you do this, his eyes say. Please don't do this to me, his eyes say. Please tell me you're not really doing this, his eyes say, tell me you're coming to work at Uncle Yod's bar with me. We're staying here, together, you hear me?

Except then Pat surprises Pran yet again. And here comes the part that the fandom completely overlooked in the light of the ep 12 preview:

Because then Pat says "Nobody works on their honeymoon."

And it's absolutely hilarious how Pran's brain immediately gets stuck in "error 404 not found" mode. You can literally see the loading circle going round and round in his brain as he tries to comprehend what Pat has just said:

Honeymoon?? Why are you suddenly talking about something that's related to weddings? Weren't we breaking up a second ago? What in the world is going on?

"You never leave me. You fight alongside me. That makes me feel very happy." Pat says and that's when Pran realizes. This conversation was never about a breakup. This is a conversation about commitment. It's an acknowledgment of Pran's love for Pat and the commitment he's shown over the course of their relationship. And it's a promise that Pat appreciates it, has appreciated it in the past and will appreciate it in the future. Pat has more or less just said his wedding vows to Pran.

And that's when Pran can no longer hold back his tears. Partly due to the relief that he won't lose Pat and partly because he's so moved by Pat's speech, by Pat's love.

And then Pat tells Pran that he's finally ready to go home: "I will let Uncle Yod know that we quit. Wait for me here."

And with that Pat brings closure to the conflict of this episode. They are finally going back home, they are finally going to face their parents. But in this scene right here Pat and Pran made it clear to each other that they'll be doing so with full commitment to one other – they will be doing so together, and that's a promise. They really did just essentially get married on their little beach getaway. They got more or less engaged on the staircase in ep 10 and now in ep 11 they are following up on that engagement. This trip really was their little honeymoon. And this calls for a celebration:

"It’s our last night on this honeymoon. I will not just stay in and be lonely. If we aren’t going to work, then let’s get drunk."

You see, for an entire week the fandom was so blinded by the ep 12 preview (derogatory) and the prospect of a looming breakup that unlike Pran it completely missed the part where Pat points out that they're on a honeymoon. And who goes on a honeymoon? People who just got married.

BONUS:

Can we just appreciate Pran's face when Pat says he'll tell Uncle Yod about quitting:

You fucker really had me thinking we were breaking up for a hot moment there when the whole time this was actually a wedding. I was worried and scared for notHING, can you believe this man

[jo-sleepycrow]

No matter how many times i watch episodes 10 and 11 of Bad Buddy they never fail to bring tears to my eyes. They make me so emotional. They don't deserve to feel bad about the fact that they love each other.

I love the way Nannon and Ohm act through facial expressions, i never get tired seeing the way they convey all the emotions through their eyes, mouth, all the little twitches they make. I really feel like I'm watching two people who know each other like the palm of their own hands, the way they communicate between the lines with just one look.

It pains me so much to see what they have to go through because of their parents selfish foolishness. They knew that it would take lots of time until they would somewhat accept their relationship, but Pat and Pran still decided that it was worth it to keep going and be together, even if it meant to hide it from the world. Because they knew they had each other to lean on. They aren't going to let the world change the fact that they love each other and that what makes them happy is to be together.

[melto]

like the way pran is a stranger to everyone in his life vs the way pat is a stranger to himself. it’s so much.

while both pat and pran have these strained relationships with themselves and those around them, the way their issues and loneliness manifest are so distinctly different while basically stemming from the same source and being remedied by the other.

with pran, his main response is to distance himself from everyone in his life. intimacy has time and time again proven to be something more akin to violence; if no one truly knows him, then no one can truly hurt him, he thinks. he's forced into a position where he had to get good at manufacturing closeness, revealing things about himself that are only skin deep to create a faux sense of it. it's very clear that pran had already been raised to be more reserved, so it is easy to do but not ideal. pran is constantly in this state of wanting to be known and fear of being known, something i think everyone knows since it's a very vital part of bbs and shown regularly— pran associating any type of relationship with pat to be a sign of unavoidable doom, pran leaving pieces of the most vulnerable parts of himself behind in hopes someone will pick them up (the multiple times he's vaguely spoken to his friends about his feelings in regards to pat: with wai about the guitar, on the beach with his "break up", at the bar talking to wai about being in a relationship you have to hide, etcetc), the ways pran steps out of his comfort zone with pat, his defiance with his mother after an attempt to walk away from the confrontation; and pran's fear is validated more often than it's not. save for with pat. because while pran is still experiencing these reactions to his honesty, it is not pat himself who is reinforcing that fear, even if he is a major factor in creating these reactions.

unlike the others in pran's life, pat knows pran. pat's the first person to pick up on the version of pran that he's always attempting to hide, and is desperate to know more. the diligent and genuine effort pat puts in literally changes the way pran interacts with the world around him. getting pat's presence in his life back is enough to start allowing pran to be more vulnerable with people around him (even if it blows up in his face), it lets him take himself not so seriously and breathe a lot easier as things progress. pran doesn't have much of a choice but to be vulnerable and honest with pat, because it's just so much all the time with him and it's nearly primal to bear his soul to the other, which is why he has to fight so hard. but he's not immune, and he opens up. starts with pat, then with ink and pa, followed by pat's friends and then his own. pran is able to finally be known by others in a way that matters due to pat's influence, and he's also able to know himself more in the process. out of the two of them, pran is far more familiar with himself, but pat (and the friends pran makes through him) offers him more space than he ever has had in his life to explore himself in regard to others. he's had so much time to get to know pran, on his own, but he doesn't entirely know pran the friend, pran the boyfriend— due to his upbringing and then the isolation he put himself through, he doesn't know the bounds of his own love. pran doesn't think loving loudly would suit him, that he doesn't deserve it because it's not something he's ever known. but thanks to pat, he's able to figure out that it is the way he wants to love and be loved. he's so hesitant of being open about his relationship with pat at first but you can see how he comes into himself and loving loudly; he wants people to know, and he wants it to be shouted. it's not something he could have ever pictured for himself if not for pat. so pat does still help pran know himself more, it's just that pran's life is more dominated by his lack of closeness and being known-ness with his friends and family.

pat, however, is the opposite. he doesn't purposefully create a distance between himself and others, but it's an unavoidable side effect at times due to the massive disconnect he has with his own personhood. pat only knows himself through his relationships with people in his life. he's a good and obedient son, an annoying older brother, a devoted friend, a smart student, a cruel fighter, etcetc— he understands these roles and how to play them, without them, he'll lose himself because what does he have without all of these titles? his relationship with pran was the only place he could connect with the real version of himself, due to the fact that their relationship was never static, it was constantly changing and unable to be coherently defined so it gave pat a lot of room to explore within it. being "pran's rival" became the most defining role for pat because of this, even if he was unaware of the true weight behind it. when pran was sent away, he took the real pat with him. pat no longer existed in tandem with pran; there were no more comparisons, leaving his actual self to now be defined by the absence of pran, something that was no longer tangible and within reach. as soon as pran's presence is reintroduced into his life, the shift in pat is almost comically obvious. immediately he is trying to reestablish his pran-defined role to get the person pran made him back. it changes the way pat interacts with the world, able to fully realize the version of himself he wants to be, that he really is. it doesn't flip every relationship pat has on its head, because they weren't built on lies or anything— he just buried himself under the various roles assigned to him throughout his life.

pat's never had space to know himself truly; he struggles to understand exactly what he wants because he's always been so focused on what has been laid out for him by others. pat doesn't want to play rugby but he does because he's told to. pat isn't inherently violent but he gets into fights because it makes people respect him. pat constantly sacrifices himself and his own autonomy for the approval of others because without it he doesn't know what he has left. save for pran. his relationship with pran is something of his own making, something that wasn't expected and pat's able to see himself as an individual for the first time. like it is still very much in reference to pran, but it is still something he sought out of his own wanting. pran is freedom and strength for pat, the place he can dream for himself, and what gives him the courage to go after it despite the pushback of what he had been relying on all his life for validation. without pran, pat would never be able to see himself. much like pat had been the first person to truly see pran, pran was the first person to see pat. and to a much lesser degree, like with pran's relationship with himself, pat was able to be known more by his friends thanks to pran. they were able to watch pat grow into the true version of himself that he was proud of, allowing them to learn more about someone they loved so much right alongside him and bringing them closer due to the newly found honesty and courage.

for pat and pran, i think a major part of their love is very much being known and to know. since before they were born they were defined by their relationship with each other. there is never a single point in time when they were strangers, there is nothing that could reverse the impact the other's very existence has on their own, even if they had never met again they would forever be defined by what they shared, for better or worse.

how could it even be expected for pran to be known by others, for pat to know himself, if the only person who was never and could never be a stranger wasn't at their side?

[puppy-phum]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH ♡ — with love; from all the couples of our skyy 2!

-

as always when it comes to edits like this, i want to ramble about things. so here i go, sharing my thoughts and my love for these couples:

red – patpran red as a color is all the things intense and fiery. it's passion and love and desire, excitement and energy and power. it's also danger and aggression and anger. it burns, no matter how and with what emotions. thinking about these couples, it was very obvious to me that red would be pat and pran. they are intense. they wouldn't be here, together, if they hadn't been so strong about it. if their love didn't burn everything in front of it. in our skyy 2 they might've settled a bit more but the fire is definitely still there.

orange – guncher orange is about positivity and having fun. it's playful and enthusiastic, full of spontaneous ideas and action. it also provides emotional strength. watching the whole of a boss and a babe – where gun and cher collide and then teach other about all these new things and feelings – and then their our skyy 2 eps where cher is still helping gun learn about Emotions seemed to correlate with orange a lot. they're a playful couple full of silliness and fresh ideas. but they are also incredibly warm and understanding towards each other. they're strong bc they have each other.

yellow – akkayan yellow is about happiness and joy. it's the cheerful color full of sunshine and summer heat and hope. but it's also the color of intellect, idealism, and creativity. akk and ayan seemed to fit this part of yellow so well i hated to change it to anyone else. their whole dynamic is based on clashing ideals and understanding them, of curiosity towards the world and others, and figuring out new things. also, i do wish for their happiness and for them to have joy. them getting that gives them and us all a lot of hope in this cruel world.

green - kluendao the color of youth and growth. despite not being the youngest couple in our skyy 2, kluen and dao give me this feeling of newness. they seem a bit unsure of where they stand after the struggles of getting together, but they're slowly growing, together and into each other. their our skyy 2 eps were, in this sense, about taking the next steps in their joined life, so green seemed to suit them. there is also the theme of luck: they're lucky that they found each other again after parting ways once.

turquoise - phuphatian turquoise is a serene color. it connects to the feelings of calm and peace, and stabilizes our emotions and minds. phupha and tian have always had this sense of calm to them despite the drama of their lives. they also feel very mature despite their silly argument in our skyy 2. they support each other, find comfort in each other. they are always able to rely on having the other one there when they need it. and after that proposal? it's forever, baby.

blue - palmnueng the first image i made for this set, as palm and nueng's relationship seemed to so strongly scream for blue. it's the color of safety, loyalty, and trust. it makes us feel calm and protected. it boosts confidence and also inspires honesty. with these two, all these things seem quite obvious. they're a couple willing to both die and kill for each other, and they trust the other with their lives. i guess that's also part of the deal as soulmates like our skyy 2 made them in the episodes, so i don't think i need to explain to this that much more.

purple - tinngun in most cases, purple as a color relates to royalty and mystery. out of all these colors, purple was the hardest to place bc of this. but it is also the color of imagination, inspiration, and fantasies. which, when you think about the whole of my school president and not only their our skyy 2 eps, is the core of the tinngun relationship. their story is full of fantasies and imagination, and they both inspire each other to do their best. the hint of magic only got added in with the concept of multiverse which makes their story only that more inspiring.

pink - puentalay the most obvious one out of all of these but no one can probably blame me for it. puen and talay are just the epitome of pink; of love, romance, care, compassion, and acceptance. there's a hint of playfulness in this color too which is absolutely fitting for these two. i also personally like that this became the last image of this set. they feel like the fitting crown to end this whole journey.

i know this set is late considering we're already over halfway through this month but pride is every month anyway. we all deserve to celebrate who we are and how beautiful love is in all of its forms every month. so i am simply telling you all to be happy and remain colorful ♥

[wen-kexing-apologist]

10 BL Boys I Want Carnally

I was tagged by @twig-tea, but I do what I want so I'm ignoring the Boys thing (and on at least one occasion the BL thing). Anyway, without further ado, and in no particular order.

Win!Lin- Cupid's Last Wish

LOOPHOLE FIRST!

gif by @angelbesideme

Thanks to Cupid's Last Wish, Jan is a boy here! So I am choosing Win from Cupid's Last Wish before he body swaps back. HOWEVER, if I'm honest, it was less Win and more masc!Jan that made my brain short circuit so do with that what you will.

Toon- Seneha Stories

I am breaking from the prompt immediately, but this is my post and I can do what I want, so I am choosing Toon from Seneha Stories, which @so-much-yet-to-learn brought my attention to. Seneha Stories is definitively not a BL, but Toon is hot, kind, sad, and he fucks so I'd be living my best life.

Miw, Neo, Shin, and Mae - 3 Will Be Free

THIS IS NOT ME SUGGESTING A FOURSOME, THIS IS JUST ME TRYING TO PREVENT FOUR OF THE TEN SPACES FROM BEING 3 WILL BE FREE.

I like it when my fictional women not only are capable of murder, but have, in fact, murdered. Miw and Mae are hot, competent, killers, fucking over evil billionaires so what is not to love?

I am not immune to Neo and his slutty little crop tops. He has three brain cells and they are all that is keeping him from not dying. Iconic to be honest.

I am not immune to Shin and his glasses, and his kindness. I mean, the boy got cut with a knife and not only comforted the kid that wounded him when he started freaking out but dated him.

Mollie - The Warp Effect

gif by @patpran

MY FIRST NON-BINARY REP IN THAILAND, MY BELOVED. Mollie is so fucking hot, they are talented, they have sick tattoos, they are fighting for themselves, and are changing the landscape of media, what is not to love?

You could also almost certianly put in any of Silvy's characters and I would probably want them carnally, cause...it's Silvy.

(honestly, I'd go for Nim too, but again, not for her character's personality, it's the masc!Jan effect)

Kim- KinnPorsche

gif by @namchyoon

For this scene and this scene only. Honestly, I think if nothing else this shows you that my type is people who could actually maybe kill me in a fight.

Or at the very least, people I could get in to a homoerotic fight with.

Anyway, Jeff gives me gender envy and the first time I saw this gifset, I thought he was a butch lesbian.

Speaking of homoerotic fights

Phaya and Sand - The Sign

MENACE! A MENACE I TELL YOU! I truly well and deeply have an appreciation for when someone who (I assume) typically would top absolutely just vibrates out of their skin at the first sign they might be topped.

And I'm adding Sand here as well because I think my jaw dropped like ten feet when I saw her on screen.

Sand, baby girl, let me know if Yai doesn't treat you right, cause I will.

King- Bed Friend

gif by @earthfluuke

Shout out to this man, I've seen him on at least three of these lists. But who could blame us? Look at him.

Choy Yu Na- Semantic Error

She did that bisexual sit and my heart was hers.

And for my last two picks, I certainly am asking myself the question, do I want them carnally or do I just want them?

Mork -My Ride

Helloooooooo Mr. Dimples. I mean....I feel like I don't need to explain myself here. We all get it, right? We understand, right? And besides, he gives rides for a living or something...

Minoru- Our Dining Table

HE'S JUST SO NICE, SO KIND, SO TIRED. @isaksbestpillow is so right, he is a mother. I love him.

Tagging @so-much-yet-to-learn, @solitaryandwandering, @respectthepetty and anyone else who sees this and wants to join!

[dimplesandfierceeyes]

Don't know if u r still taking bad buddy prompts. But if u r, high school patpran teaching kissing or practicing kissing and Pat realizing his feelings and getting together.

OP.

OP OP OP.

How did you know?

How did you know this was my weakness?

Anyway, when this prompt came in the whole plot basically appeared in my head fully formed and all I needed was the time to make it real. I hope you all enjoy!

~~~

Practice Makes Perfect

(I know, I know, the least original title ever)

Pran wasn’t sure when it had become an unspoken rule that they would meet in his bedroom. He guessed it made sense. Pat’s family was nosy; they walked in and out of each other’s bedrooms unannounced and didn’t seem to like doing anything alone if they could drag another person into it too. Still, every time Pat was in his room, Pran’s heart rate skyrocketed with anxiety. (Only anxiety, definitely only anxiety.)

Pat was here again, all lanky-limbed six-foot of him sprawled over Pran’s bed like he was entitled to it. He’d grown again. Up until last year they’d been neck-and-neck for height but this year, Pran had slowed down and Pat, annoyingly, hadn’t. Not only that, but his shoulders were getting broader too whilst Pran’s stayed stubbornly slim, just like his mae’s. Not for the first time, Pran wished he’d inherited more of his father’s easy musculature.

“So we just gotta watch the scene and answer these questions right?” Pat asked, staring at the sheet he was holding in front of him. He was lying on his stomach, propped up on his elbows so he could screen while Pran had claimed the desk chair.

“Yes.” 

“Oh, cool! That’s easy.” 

They were working on literature homework: the interpretations of play adaptation. This was the second version of this play they were watching and the questions were mostly about drawing comparisons. Pran clicked on the file the teacher had uploaded and blinked as a thumbnail popped up showing two male characters.

“I thought this was supposed to be the kiss scene?” Pat questioned. “Has the teacher uploaded the wrong file?”

“I don’t think so. Nobody else has said it was a different scene,” Pran replied. He was still staring at the screen, his heart pumping so much faster than it should have been as he considered the only other possibility. 

“So basically it’s a BL version,” Pat laughed.

“I guess.” Pran furiously told his heart there was no difference between watching a straight kissing scene with Pat or watching a BL one. It didn’t listen.

“Alright, let’s get started, I guess.”

Pran had never wished for his parents to get home early from the weekly shop but it turned out there really was a first time for everything. Unfortunately, no engine noise rumbled up to the front gate and Pran was forced to accept that this was, in fact, happening. 

He could barely pay attention to the questions on the sheet of paper in front of him, though he spent as much time as he could staring down at it as the men on the screen danced around each other, feeling the other out, before finally shattering the tension, reaching for each other as if starving. Pran had watched the exact same scene in class between a man and a woman without even blinking. Now he was hot all over, hyper aware of Pat lying on his bed behind him watching two men kiss on his computer screen, and he could only hope that his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt they should be. 

The end of the scene couldn’t come soon enough.

“Okay,” Pran said as professionally as he could manage, lifting his sheet in the air to show he meant business as he quarter-turned in his chair so he had his profile to Pat. 

“What do you think it’s like for the actors? To kiss a guy, I mean,” Pat chimed in with his usual inability to not send Pran’s mind into chaos. 

“Pretty much like kissing a girl,” Pran replied tightly, lifting his sheet a little higher. It was once again ignored.

“Do you think it is? Just the same as a kissing a girl? I think it would be different.”

“Why would it be different? They’re both just people.” Pran replied, unable to believe he was actually locked into this conversation.

“I don’t know,” Pat shrugged. “Have you ever done it? Kissed a guy?” 

Pran barely managed not to choke on his own saliva. “Wh-What business is that of yours?” 

Pat’s eyes went as round as saucers, his mouth dropping open. “Wait, you have?”

“I didn’t say that,” Pran replied rapidly but he could see it was already too late.

“Holy shit, you have! Why didn’t you tell me?” If a tone of voice could be a pout, Pat’s would have been a prime example.

“Why would I tell you that?”

“Who was it?”

“Why would I tell you that either?”

“You know all the girls I’ve kissed,” Pat complained.  

Unfortunately, Pran thought to himself. “It’s not like I ever asked for that information.”

Pat ignored the jibe, steamrolling over it. “So, was it? Was it different from kissing a girl?”

“None!” Pran replied spitefully, despite having never kissed a girl.

“Oh,” Pat looked disappointed. “Not at all?”

“What sort of difference should there be?” Pran asked, exasperated. 

“I don’t know, it just feels like there would be.” Pat frowned for a second before suddenly his expression released and he looked at Pran like he’d just thought of something. Pran got a sharp and defined sense of foreboding. “What if we tried it?”

“What?” Pran squeaked.

“I mean, I know you didn’t think there was a difference, but maybe it would be different for me,” Pat reasoned. 

"And this is my problem, how?" Pran managed to force out as his entire body launched into a state of panic hitherto only observed in mice fleeing a hungry cat. 

"Oh, come on," Pat whined in a way that was terrifyingly close to the way that had wheeled Pran into truly remarkable levels of trouble several times. "It's not like I'd be your first guy; I'd just be your second! It's not like it's special or anything."

"What kind of logic is that? Then I'd-I'd be your first!"

"I don't mind," Pat replied with a shrug and Pran's mind gurgled. 

He knew he had to say no, that if he kept just pointing out problems Pat would just keep countering them. But then he’d be saying no. To Pat kissing him.

“Come on, what do you want?” Pat asked, sounding exasperated.

“What?”

“I know you’re just stretching it out because you want me to agree to lose at something in return.”

“I don’t need you to agree to lose; I can make you lose any day.” Pran replied automatically. Pat rolled his eyes.

“Just name your terms, Parakul.”

Pran flung out an idea from the void. “The next rugby match. If I’m close to the goal post, find a way to fumble the ball to me.”

Pat frowned, brow furrowing as if in dilemma, before huffing dramatically. “Fine. The next match is yours.”

Pran’s already abused heart was electrocuted by the words, now hammering at double the speed. He’d agreed. He might not have actually said the words, but he’d agreed to let Pat kiss him. He didn’t know if he was a genius or insane. 

Pat seemed to be waiting for something and it took Pran a second to realise it was for him to walk over to the bed. His mind rebelled the idea, it felt too much like a capitulation to be the one to move. And what if he looked eager? He couldn’t bear the thought.

“I’m not going to you,” he said as dismissively as he could manage. “You were the one who wanted to see how different it was.”

Another huff was released and then Pat rolled his eyes so dramatically his whole head got involved in the action, but he did start to lift himself off the bed. 

Pran only realised what a mistake he’d made when Pat was already looming in front of him. Then Pat was leaning forwards and Pran was caged in, one of Pat’s hands on the desk next to him to steady himself and the other reaching for Pran’s cheek. It found it with a gentleness that was foreign, strange. Pran’s lungs pulled in short, sharp breaths through his nose as Pat’s long fingers settled around his ear and he was pinned by Pat’s uncertain gaze.

He waited for him to call it off, convinced that this alone would be enough to make Pat retreat, that he would pull back, laugh, shake his head, proclaim how weird it was, but instead… instead…

Instead Pat’s eyes fell shut and his head tilted and he bowed lower and lower until his lips made contact with Pran’s. The touch was soft but without hesitation, lips slipping open to catch Pran’s between them. Then, already, they were pulling away, leaving Pran’s mouth cold and wanting. Pran flicked his eyes open, not sure even when he’d closed them, and watched as Pat opened his own, slow and unfocused.

“You call that a kiss?” The question was supposed to be scathing, mocking, anything that brought them back to their status quo, but Pran’s voice was suddenly hoarse and breathless, as though he hadn’t spoken in weeks and his throat was parched. 

There was no hiding the want in every syllable.   

“What would you call it?” Pat asked. To Pran’s devastation, he sounded just as rough.

“Barely anything,” Pran replied, his voice half a whisper as adrenaline flooded through his veins. 

Because he knew what he was going to do next. 

And he knew there was no way of stopping himself even if he tried. 

As if the want inside of him had torn into his limbs, seizing control, his hand shot up and grabbed Pat by the back of his head. He dragged him down, no gentleness, no subtlety, no mercy. He ransacked Pat’s mouth like a thief ripping through a household, eager to take everything he could before occupants woke up. 

He didn’t expect Pat to fight back. 

There was no paralysed surprise, no frozen astonishment, Pat let him take and take and take and then stole it all back and more. His hand gripped at Pran’s hair, his teeth nipped and scraped over Pran’s lip, his tongue licked into Pran’s mouth like he wanted to own it. Pran could barely breathe under the onslaught, control slipping away from him as he tried to process the ferocity of Pat’s response. Then all the competition seemed to slip away and they were just kissing, kissing, kissing.

By the time they broke apart, they were both gasping for air. 

Pran looked up at Pat in astonishment, but Pat didn’t look back. His eyes were still closed, forehead bent against Pran’s forehead as he hauled oxygen into his lungs, like he was trying to fix the memory of their kiss in his head forever. The only sound in the entire room was their broken breathing.

Then he smiled, the single most beautiful and most ruinous smile Pran had ever seen, before he opened his eyes. He tilted his head as he grinned down at Pran like they were sharing a secret. Pran felt his mouth respond in kind and Pat’s gaze dipped down, catching on his lips before dragging back up.

Instinctively, deliberately, somewhere in between, Pran’s eyeline dropped from Pat’s captivating gaze to his tempting mouth. His lips were red and puffy, shining with a hint of…

Me, Pran thought. That’s from me. 

And he looked back up in time just to see Pat lean back down and then he was being kissed again. He responded instantly, surging up to steal more of Pat’s taste, and somehow ended up standing, his hands in Pat’s hair. Pat’s arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer, making Pran’s heart jolt as they were pressed together from hip to chest and Pat’s heat bled through their clothes. 

He’d never been this close to another person. Not even the only other boy he’d kissed, who’d sat next to him and kissed him awkwardly, neither of them entirely sure what they were doing. This—Pat—was something else entirely. He felt submerged in him, Pat on his tongue, on his skin, on his body, everywhere and anywhere, all at once, and he sank into him rapturously, a willing victim of his own drowning. 

Pat tugged and Pran followed, edging carefully, unhurriedly, across the floor as their mouths danced to a rhythm of their own making. Then Pat pulled away to drop down onto Pran’s bed, dragging Pran after him. Pran settled eagerly into his lap, unable to resist one little quip before bent his head to kiss him.

“In my bed already, Napat? Are you always this easy?”

“No, you’re just special,” Pat replied breathlessly and then Pran had to devour him. 

Pran didn’t know how long their fourth kiss lasted for but by the time they broke apart, the streetlights outside were turning a burnt umber and Pran’s lips were so sensitive they were tingling. He swallowed weakly, hands still twisted in Pat’s hair, hips almost bruised with Pat’s fingerprints.

 “So. Any differences?” he found himself asking. Pat chuckled breathlessly. 

“Just a few, yeah.” 

Pran smiled back at him, his lips almost sore but in a pleasant way as he curved them upwards. One of Pat’s thumbs had found its way under Pran’s shirt and was rubbing over the skin at the base of his waist. 

“Can we do this again?” Pat asked, eyes dropping to Pran’s mouth. “More than once? Can we do this many times?”

Pran laughed. “How often are you thinking?”

“I don’t know. Once a week? Once a day? Once an hour?” Pat grinned cheekily and Pran’s cheeks were going to ache from how broad his own smile was. 

“You’re gonna wake up every hour, are you?”

“It would be worth it.” That was too much for Pran. He closed his eyes, shaking his head as he laughed again.

“You’re so cheesy.” 

“Pran, I’m serious. I think we should date.” Pat continued earnestly, a smile still colouring his voice like a warm sunset.

Pran opened his eyes, wide and uncertain. Pat looked back at him candidly.

“Pat…That…”

"You don't want to?"

"I… didn't say that." 

Pat beamed, somewhere between delighted and smug and Pran shoved him backwards with more show than force. Pat faked falling anyway, tilting backwards dramatically before bouncing up with a grin. Pran tried not to be affected by it.

“If our parents found it, they would kill us,” he pointed out.

“Why would they need to find out? I sneak into your bedroom almost every week. They’ve never found that out, have they?” 

Pran loved how stubborn Pat was.

“We won’t be able to tell anyone. I mean, anyone. Not even Duke. Not even Pa.” 

“Is this you saying yes? Pran, are you saying yes to me?”

“Who said I’m saying yes,” Pran tried to sound aloof but it was hard when he was still straddling Pat’s lap and his hands had settled on Pat’s shoulders.

Pat’s smile spilled out over his entire face, eyes little more than curved lines as he laughed. “You are. You are saying yes,” Pat told him. Pran didn’t disagree.  

He also didn’t disagree when Pat said they should kiss again. 

~~~

Aaaand done. Don't think about what happens after the concert. @miscellar already made that mistake. Just don't do it yourself.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed it OP! And all the others that come across this mini fic! Look out for an actually edited version of this to appear on AO3 sometime soon....

[kinnbig]

5 favourite kisses poll

tagged by @williamrikers thank you beloved 🥰❤️

here are some kisses that made me insane!! propaganda below the cut hehe

RamKing:

listen. listen. hear me out. this is maybe a different kind of kiss to the others on this list but i just feel so unhinged about it. Ram's thumb on King's cheek. the forehead touch. the way King's fingers tighten on the back of Ram's neck as Ram goes in to kiss him again. THE WAY RAM GOES IN OPEN MOUTHED YES THANK U PERTH NAKHUN FOR MY LIFE i think about this constantly. i have turned this exact moment of the kiss into a whatsapp sticker that i send to my groupchat probably daily. i will never in a million years feel normally about them. thank you for your time.

PatPran:

THIS KISS. THIS FUCKING KISS. this kiss changed lives. this kiss reset the timeline. this kiss cleared my skin and watered my crops. GOD. god this entire scene is insane it's so heartbreaking and so powerful. the moment Pran pulls Pat back in for this second (incredible) kiss fucking guts me every time. their chemistry is off the charts they want each other so much there's so much passion and pain and desire in this kiss and it's delicious and it makes me feral. i'm vibrating at the speed of light.

KinnPorsche:

there are SO MANY insanely good KinnPorsche kisses it was so hard to pick just one. but this one is my favourite because it's such a gorgeous culmination of the tension that's been building and building since they first had sex in episode 4. they want each other so bad it's almost gravitational. they both know they shouldn't but they physically can't stop themselves. it's not even a choice to kiss at this point - it just happens. it's gorgeous. there's nothing I love more than raw, angsty desire. perfect.

SandRay:

there were a lot of gooood kisses in this show but this one made me gasp out loud. WOW i'm noticing a trend with these. it's about angst and yearning and breaking tension that's been building for a long time. yes. i have a type. anyway this kiss was insane everyone say thank you FirstKhao

NonPhee:

lmao sorry for the behind the scenes gif. okay. of all the kisses on this list this is the one that made me YELL. i could not BELIEVE mine own eyes. holy fucking shit. this was everything to me. AAAAAAH god why is this gif 7 hours long. i can't stop watching. sorry this is meant to be propaganda but i don't have any thoughts left i'm just buzzing. this is so good. so hot. Barcode Tinnasit the man that you are. aaaaah.

tagging 5 people!!: @laesas, @perths, @divorcedmalewife, @chanbig, @days-of-storm 💖🥰 (no pressure and sorry if you've already been tagged!)

[inventedfangirling]

oh dont mind me...im just staring at these two prans spaced 4(?) years but actually a lifetime apart and absolutely LOSING it at how THATS ALMOST THE SAME FRICKING SMILE.

THE SAAAME!!

It's the same damn smile but this time almost everything is different.

High School Pran smiled with fondness at the boy he was in love with...whereas University student Pran smiles in fondness at the boy who was in love with him.

The past smile has yearning brimming under the surface...meanwhile the present smile is laced with barely concealed joy, but also vulnerability and softness.

Pran with all his self preservation tendencies allowing himself to look at Pat like that, allowing himself to express all that, allowing Pat to see him like that, barely concealed blushes and unguarded love oozing from his eyes??

And all of that is happening while he makes Pat (bless his precious whipped soul) declare his unbridled love for him??? And Pat rises up to the challenege and does so well he turns it around on Pran changing it from a Pat teasing session to a Pran teasing session but all of it firmly based on the premise of them being embarassingly crazy about each other. I'm still not over 'praninlove' cos WHO DOES THAT. thats soo damn gay (LOVE THAT FOR ALL OF US) and i'm not sorry but there won't ever be a better love story.

[waitmyturtles]

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 4 (“UHHH, IF I FEEL SOMETHING, DOES IT MEAN I HAVE FEELINGS, WOMP?”) EDITION

That’s how I felt after watching yesterday’s episode. I have NO BUSINESS writing meta in my current life-mental state, but I NEED to get a few words down. Just some list-y thoughts.

Shit’s starting to gel for me. The cast seems like they’ve warmed up to each other by way of actor-ly chemistry. (I know scenes are never shot in order, but there was maybe a little stiffness I felt at the start of the series? At this point, it might just be Lookjun carrying that, but I also don’t think she does “drunk” as well as the others.)

Such good meta that sustained me during my packing yesterday. @ranchthoughts on an ephemerality BREAKDOWN. @respectthepetty Senpai on sluts slutting — and HOW WE AUTOMATICALLY JUDGE AND LABEL SLUTS FOR SLUTTING (more on this in a BIT — go OFF, RTP Senpai). And @slayerkitty on nailing the narrative frameworks, which really struck me this episode, and this goes back to ephemerality again. Can’t believe I’m gonna meta, but let’s boogie, ‘cause I gotta.

@ranchthoughts — Ranch, I’m probably going to repeat some of what you wrote, so please forgive my stress-addled brain. I just lost it at Khaotung this episode, I thought he was just OVERFLOWING with BEST-NESS this episode — and the way we lived with Ray in his past in this episode. It was another play on time. And I love that @slayerkitty nailed that it was the flashbacks that were doing the talking this episode — because especially for Ray, the past is doing HIS talking. His mother didn’t love him in his past. Therefore, because of his past, he is unlovable in his present. (Interrrrgenerationalllll traumaaaa — the past affects your present. The opposite of ephemerality. That shit’ll STICK with you UNTIL you decide to face it head-on, like our beloved PatPran.)

Ooooh, baby. Gosh. The combination of the use of flashbacks, with Ray living in his past, only listening to music his parents listened to. And Sand — falling for Ray! — is holding Ray’s hand and bringing him to the present and the new. Sand’s a figure of change. Ray keeps toeing BACK to the past, to his memories, to his “love” for Mew, and Sand’s like, let me hold you down. (Ray going back and forth — like relapsing.) Ray STILL flashing back to Mew, holding that pendant (THAT LOOKS AN AWFUL LIKE AN ECLIPSE SYMBOL, AMIRITE AMIRITE) — and flashes again back and forward to the record store, where Sand found Ray’s hand.

What will Ray need for Sand to do to pull Ray even closer to the real-time present? How will Sand help Ray face his trauma? Will Sand really hold Ray down?

I am a big believer in the ships sinking, but goddamnit, First and Khao ATE this episode. GAAAHHHH.

Just musing: If Jojo and team started out this series having us think on ephemerality, the general lack of accountability, and the disappearance of time — are we entering the next act of the series where the characters grapple with the impacts of their pasts? That if you’re engaged emotionally and/or sexually with others, that not being accountable for your past and present is NOT an option? (That’s a kind of frame that speaks very closely to Jojo’s devotion to messages of sexual health in his past shows — especially regarding Nat in Gay OK Bangkok, who was HIV positive.)

Also musing: I saw some posts on my dash grappling with Top and Ray using coke. Drug use is obviously common on the partying circuit — their using coke doesn’t surprise me, especially considering that Top and Ray were both shown also being familiar with pills earlier. But I will note that the entire SE Asian region prosecutes the drug trade quite harshly, so to be honest, I was surprised to see Top actually snorting (but not surprised that that would be in a Jojo show). (Some passing links: when I Googled “drug use in Thailand,” this study shows that of a sample of vocational students in Thailand, LGBTQ+ students were more likely to use three or more drugs than heterosexual students, plus more findings. And this article briefly reviews the history of drug prosecution in Thailand.)

Also musing: really loved how Top’s demeanor was SO different with Nick and Sand. Maybe this indicates how much he’s “controlling” himself around Mew (@ranchthoughts , beep beep, control). Especially when Nick was talking with Top — it seemed like Top had been approached for money like this before. And the way he was so forward with Sand, confident to tell Sand that Sand wasn’t up for keeping Boeing — that was a totally different Top than who we see with Mew.

Okay, penultimate point. @respectthepetty says: sluts gonna slut. @bengiyo says: dudes gonna dude.

Cheum calls Boston a ho. Top says Boston is nasty. Nick calls himself nasty. Nick is Boston’s “favorite.” Jojo challenges the viewer to think that Top was gonna sleep with Beam, as RTP Senpai writes. Top’s already slept with Boston while dating Mew. On and on and on.

I wrote in my review of Theory of Love that I related to Khai, and now I relate somewhat to Top by the way that some of the viewership has judged Top. I was VERY often called the slut/ho of my friend groups in my younger years. OFTEN. And this was while I was in my twenties, exploring myself, my boundaries, my sexuality, all of it.

I relate to the struggle of trying to shed labels. Ray is a “burden.” Boston is “nasty.” Mew wants the truth from Top as to if Top has been with anyone else while they were dating. Therefore — Mew is assuming that Top IS sleeping with other people.

Call these people by their labels, and they’ll start believing them. It’s just another kind of trauma, similar to intergenerational trauma.

I wrote in my Theory of Love piece that as a global society — humans don’t really believe that our fellow humans can CHANGE. We don’t accept change well. (Cancel culture rarely allows for someone to be uncancelled — right?) If someone takes on a label — we tend to believe that label, and we have a hard time believing that someone has SHED that label after time. If Ray was called a burden by his mother — what work will it take for Ray to shed that label? And same for our sexually active guys, too.

Think about how you talk about your friends to others. Think about if you use labels to talk about them. Think about how old those labels are, and if they’re accurate in the present. And. Think about how you judge others by their pasts. (“Remember when so-and-so was sleeping around?”) Think about whether or not you use the past to judge and/or justify your FEELINGS about someone.

Now, I don’t even KNOW if these guys WANT to change these paradigms. We get the SLIGHTEST hint that maybe Boston wants to do so with Nick in next week’s preview.

But. I just fucking love that Jojo is playing around with this. If someone is HIV positive — that’s a label, a stigma. If someone is a ho — that’s a label, a stigma.

These dudes are burdened by what everyone else is thinking and saying about them.

And we have Sand, on the other hand, processing his feelings with Nick. We have Nick acting like a damn BASKETCASE, but at least he admitted the wiretapping to Sand (??? lol honey but you gotta stop this now, nervous giggles, put Boston’s phone down). We didn’t see Yo in this episode, but we know Yo believes in accountability.

There’s something about the Ray-Mew-Cheum-Boston friend group that allows things to both slide and fester. We’ll get ever more clarity in the following episodes on this, but — these young folks are having ish dealing with their labels, the labels of their pasts, and what are they gonna do in their presents and futures to deal with changing themselves?

FINALLY, and then I’m done rambling. Is that supposed to be a penis, or something penis-like?!

(What’s good, Ephemerality Squad? Wish me luck with moving today! @slayerkitty @ranchthoughts @lurkingshan @neuroticbookworm @clara-maybe-ontheroad @twig-tea @distant-screaming @chickenstrangers)

[7nessasaryevils]

How are we already at episode 11???? This feels fake 🥺🥺

Sigh... alright then, let's do it.

- hi Cher!!! Who ya loo- Oyei!!!! Hi to you too! Oh we searching for Yak?

- me immediately worried that Yak has been triggered and is having a panic attack

Me when I realize yak is fucking sleeping on Dee's lap like the goddamn puppy he is doing everyone a heckin' scare!

- but also goddamnit they're so cute 🥹🥹🥹

- heheheh little kiss 💋

- FIST BUMPS!!! YOU DARE FIST BUMP IN FRONT OF MIETTE WHILE SHE PINES FOR PATPRAN?!? YOU DARE?!

- aww zazaki cheering so cutely in the background: my son!

- look at my little boxing family 🥹🥹🥹🥹 I'll burn anyone who dares hurt them

- I will not cry at how endeared and attentive Dee is when he listen to yak talking about how he preps for a fight I will not I won't!

- ahhh... the shoulder that started it all 😬

- more like Yoryak Phadetseuk's hubby 👀👀🤪

- I do love that Yei has learned and is now checking in with Yak instead of making decisions on his own... good job baby!!!

- babie yak has my whole heart 🥺🥹🥹 if this Mason guy is mean to my babie i will break him in half world championship title be damned! You haven't seen the strength of an angered mama bear bl fan!

-

- HES A BABIE A CHILD ILL RIP YOU APART ILL UNTWIST YOUR INNARDS AND TWIST THEM AGAIN LIKE A BALLOON ANIMAL ILL SHRED ALL YOUR CHARGING CABLES AND YOUR BOXING GLOVES ILL BURN YO- awww look Dee's feeding Yak!

- this little bitch fighting hurt people to keep his title im gonna sit on him!

- damnit yak BE SCARED!!! We all are!!!

- sir... push that straw all the way down what the fuck is that???

- Met Gala grim reaper is back for fucks sake 😬😑

- oh look! An actual representation of these two idiots 🤣 🤡

- ....okay... clown kink was not on my 2024 bingo card

- how the hell did they make clown nose touching cute???? Witchcraft!!!

- LOOK AT MY WHOLE FAMILY IN CLOWN NOSES THE BABIES!!!!!

- yak's about to say/do something embarrassingly adorable isn't he?

- he did!!!! The adorable clown you sweetheart!!!

- damn they're all so cu- FLOPPY COCK BASTARD DOCTOR SIGHTED!!!!! SEE WHAT YOU HAVE LOST YOU PISSPOOR EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!!!!

- ohh Taem... honey... don't look like that you're breaking my heart 😢😢

- no. No no no ono nonooooooo no please I'm begging anything that is good and holy please do not have Ter go up to Taem!!!! DO NOT DO NOT! SHE DESERVES BETTER!!

- side note: taem yelling at a vending machine is peak human behaviour I love it! ♥️♥️

- GODFUCKINGDAMNIT

- I'll light a million fires, burn a thousand sage, conduct hundreds of blood sacrifices and rituals if it means Taem never ever ever ever ever has to talk to you again you trash wearing pus oozing excuse of a doctor!

- nope I hate it P'Golf how could you??? Why is there always something that immensely disappoints me in every show???

- awww all the little kiddies giving Yak their encouragement ♥️🥹

- oyei and Cher with a kid.... @imogenegomi THE FIC IS COMING TRUE?!? Ohhhh ask him ask him ask him ask him 👀👀

- HE ASKED IT!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

- Cher Oyei as actual parents!!! Getting married!!! P'Golf!!! If this show doesn't end with rings and a kid, you and I are gonna have words!

- your feelings have not been fake for a long ass time Khun Yoryak

- back hugs my beloved!!

- you've had his love for a long time to- why am i surrounded by stupid gays???

- greedy little puppy 🐶

- FOREHEAD KISSES MY BELOVED!!!

- Kao!!!! Hello my most perfect of sons how are you??

- oh I completely forgot that contest was a thing 👀👀

- Kao.... do you have a date?? One that makes you smile like that?? Spill!!!!!

- WAIT WERE GETTING TO SEE HIM???? WHOOOO?!

- THAT GUY!!!! KLUEN FROM WE ARE!!!! HIIII!!!!

- angry English speaking Yak my most beloved sexy damn woah (I think I had a minor stroke)

- side note: love that they called Mason American and he very much does not sound American 🤣🤣

- no no no no yak honey no!!

- my heart breaks so much for Wandee because he must feel so helpless. He knows Yak is hurting emotionally and there's not much he can do for him short of Yoryak actually speaking to him about his trauma. All he can do is hold onto him and let me know that he's there.

- your parents are besties, I guarantee it!

- fuck. I'm calling it now: Dee is gonna have to operate on the day of Yak's match.

- zazaki worried for Yak is fucking adorable: the besties we deserve!!

- ...I still can't believe that there are people who get cancer from smoking and then still refuse to quit. I knew a deacon who did that... what did he die from? Lung cancer. 😑

- oh great... operating with the trash floppy cock who doesn't understand the word no... love that

- I HATE WHEN IM RIGHT

- don't make promises you're not gonna be able to keep because this is a BL show Wandee!

- you just said your levels were off the charts you little liar 🤣🤣

- CHER!!! Saying what we're all thinking!

- Oyei.... I see you sir 👀👀 show Cher just how long you can endure 😏😏😏

- okay now I'm crying... Yak giving Yei that garland is so perfect because it is acknowledging everything that Yei has had to struggle with. He was a kid who had to be thrown into the role of a father, a brother, a teacher, an owner and care taker not just for Yak but for the people in the gym. This is one of my favourite moments for these brothers 🥹

- BOXING FAMILY UNITE!!!!😭🥹🥹

- walking into an OR without scrubbing... has grey's anatomy taught ya'll nothing??

- Ter you're a shit doctor.

- DONT LIE TO YOUR THERAPIST YAK!!!

- oh Jesus fuck that's fucking creepy....

- Apichart asking the thing we're all thinking: WHAT THE FUXK ARE YOU DOING STANDING AROUND!!! MOVE!!

- ...ter doing one nice-ish thing does not excuse all the the shit he has done before and I'm upset with the show for even trying to give him some sort of redemption. When someone has put their all into you and you drop them like a hot potato, you get no right to try and insinuate yourself back into their life. You've lost that right.

- gotta appreciate a little sitcom comedy moment 🤣🤣

- TAEM!!!!!!!

- MY SON WANDEE KEEPS HIS PROMISES!!!

- on the lips on the lips on the lips come on!

- FUCK YEAHHHHH!!!!

And that's it for this episode. We had some delicious delightful moments and moments where I wanted to ram my fist through a wall (in anger not in "fuck they're so cute") but that tends to happen with every show I watch. I hope I never have to see Taem and Ter scenes again because I'll puke.

Next week shall be emotional... we are finally wrapping up Wandee Goodday. This show has been lovely and a definite favorite of mine for this year.

Ep 12 promises to make some of my dreams come true: I see Dee and Yak in white on a beach which tells me marriage scene??? Oyei and Cher wedding!!!

So until next week!!! Adios my darlings!

[ranchthoughts]

Thinking about Pat, Pran, and pursuit

Talking with @dudeyuri I have been once again thinking about the PatPran dynamic, specifically as it relates to "pursuit".

I sort of got into this in my mega post about subversions in Bad Buddy, specifically in section 1, where I wrote about how Pat and Pran trade off who is the seme ("pursuer") or uke ("pursued") over the course of the show, and how Pat occasionally places himself in the role of uke as part of his flirtations with Pran (he initiates face wiping, he pretends to be sick to get a sponge bath, etc.). Pran does the latter a bit too, like during the episode 7 bet at the noodle stand when he pretends not to be able to open the water bottle and asks Wai to do it for him to make Pat jealous, or when he asks Pat to help him with his printer. But it is mostly a Pat thing to feign helplessness in order to get Pran to care for him/take the seme role in situations.

I think the fact that many of these instances of playing the "uke" come during the episode 7 Bet is especially interesting and telling. Pat and Pran have established that whoever falls in love first loses. To win, you have to make the other person fall in love - you have to flirt with them/play the seme role (we can talk all day about the logic of the Bet, the thin veneer of deniability they build for themselves, but anyways...). Therefore, Pat and Pran have made a bet to be the seme in each other's lives (and thus, also to be the uke, as when there's a seme there's a uke). And sometimes, like I said above, they actively take the role of the uke as a means of pursuit (pretending to be sick, etc.).

All this connects to @telomeke-bbs 's post about how Pran feels uncomfortable being pursued - he feels more comfortable as the pursuer. @telomeke-bbs points out that Pat could have gotten the inspiration to set up the Bet from Pran himself, realizing this would be a way to woo Pran that is more comfortable for him. Pat pursues Pran by giving Pran a way to participate in flirtation in the way that is most comfortable for him: to play the pursuer (by orchestrating the Bet, where the point is to both be pursuers). Not only this, but Pat gives Pran further chances to be the pursuer during the Bet by casting himself as the uke. Even in flirtatious trope moments initiated by Pat, he is casting Pran as the seme as he knows that will be most comfortable for Pran (and Pat doesn't really care if he is the pursuer or the pursuee).

We've seen Pat do something like this before, when he was helping Pran brainstorm the bus stop. Pat initiated a little role-play game and cast himself in whatever role would make Pran be most comfortable (what if I am the boyfriend and you are the girlfriend? No. Ok, how about if we are both boyfriends? No. Ok, what if I am the girlfriend and you are the boyfriend?). Pat is happy to do whatever, cast himself in whatever role, in order to make Pran happy and content. Even if it is the more "feminine" (and ergo, typically less desirable) position.

We can also talk about how Pat takes the (originally feminine) role of Riam to help Pran with the play... but I digress slightly.

We know these things about Pat and Pran - Pat is the open one, who is free with his emotions and physicality, who wants to post about them on Instagram; and Pran is more private, keeping his emotions to himself, finding comfort in his room, wanting to keep their relationship private. Pat is happy to meet Pran where he is, to make him comfortable, while also pushing him out of his comfort zone a bit (Pran allows Pat to be more open about their relationship after seeing how happy it makes him, Pran actively participates in the Bet, etc).

So the Bet, and thinking about Pat and Pran and pursuit in general, tell us about:

1) Pat and his personality: how he is easygoing, adaptable, unconcerned about his own perceived masculinity (he's happy to be "feminine" where needed - now THERE'S a whole other post for another time)

2) Pran and his personality: how he is more reserved, uncomfortable accepting help or being flirted with, prefers being in control (also things we saw in the Our Skyy 2 episodes)

3) Pat and Pran's relationship and how well they know one another: Pat knows what will make Pran feel more comfortable and arranges things to make them so ("I always let my lover win")

4) how Pat and Pran love to role play and how much of their dynamic is about committing to the Bit: Pat pretends to be sick to get Pran to sponge bath him, Pran pretends not to know what he is doing, they both pretend not to know the inevitable outcome of this bet/the flawed premise they started with (they are both in love already)... Pat and Pran are all about committing to the bit and putting on a performance (pretending to hate each other, hiding rheir relationship, the theatrics of the Bet, the times they stage fights or role play scenarios, etc). Pat pretending to need Pran's help for things is just another example of this.

This obviously relates to the ideas of Pat as the helper and Pran to one who needs help as explored in the Our Skyy 2 episodes, and there's more to say about how Pat helps Pran by pretending to need help himself (e.g., helps Pran act on his feelings through the Bet by orchestrating scenarios where Pat is the uke), but I want to take another angle before leaving off.

Pat is so easy going and flexible in many ways, which complements so well with Pran... but this can be a detriment too. Pat is so good at being what other people want him to be (... like doing what Ming wants: competing, being good at sports, being the popular manly guy, etc.) that he doesn't reflect on who he is/what he wants. The prime example: it took him a long time to realize he was in love with Pran/that he was interested in all genders. And thus, as Pran's arc over the series (and Our Skyy eps) has to do with Pran giving up control, allowing himself to be helped, opening up his heart, Pat's arc has to do with him coming into his own, realizing what he wants, and being who he wants to be - casting himself in roles so to speak (the choice to be the uke, play Riam, etc vs being told to/forced into it). Think of the relationship Pat has with his dad by the end of the series, and how much he abandons the type of guy/roles Ming wanted him to play, in favour of being the guy he wants to be.

^as always, I am thinking of this post by @grapejuicegay about Pat and his relationship with his father

[telomeke-bbs]

OUR SKYY 2 x BAD BUDDY x A TALE OF THOUSAND STARS – A REVIEW AND PARTIAL ANALYSIS

Yes, I'm well aware that it's been more than two weeks since the Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars 4-ep closer for OS2 aired, and I'm far behind the bandwagon in posting this.

Thing is, I've had to take some time to gather my garbled thoughts on how I feel about the mini-series, and I have many. Also, the longer I dawdle, the more others have posted similar musings, and I then have to edit down my own write-up to avoid repeating stuff that others more knowledgeable and eloquent than I have already made public.

This is like my fourth or fifth re-write, and I've already chucked so much aside. But now the ideas jangling in my head seem a bit more coherent, and maybe it's time to solidify them in the written word.

I think part of the block I was facing had to do with the fact that I was expecting the Bad Buddy portions of OS2 x BBS x ATOTS to be doing more than they did, and when they didn't I was left a little directionless. This is not to say I didn't enjoy the episodes though; I most certainly did. How great was it to see Pat and Pran back in action again? 😍 Even though their dynamic and storyline weren't as deeply resonating as what we saw in the original Bad Buddy, they still managed to charm me no end.

While I certainly wanted more information regarding Pat and Pran's relationship (and we did get to see a tiny bit), what I'd really been hoping for was more of the intellectual gamery that had been so carefully interwoven into the original BBS, that was densely layered with metaphor, allegory and messaging. It was also rich with linguistic wordplay and cultural content, and I was on the lookout for more of the same in OS2 the moment Pat and Pran appeared. But these were mostly missing, even though they delivered callbacks and charisma in spades.

It was only upon re-watching that a number of realizations crystallized for me, chief of which was the fact that I'd been looking for things in the wrong place. The subtextual (and even metatextual) cleverness I was expecting actually was there, but it had been woven more into the ATOTS portions instead. And while I like the original ATOTS, it didn't inspire in me the same kind of obsessive love that Bad Buddy had done, so I have never gone in for a re-watch or examined it in greater detail, and thus wasn't paying as much attention to the ATOTS portions of OS2.

More fool me. No wonder my first watch of OS2 x BBS x ATOTS missed what it did, because I kind of sped through Phupha and Tian's story, when the mini-series was leaning more on ATOTS than BBS to telegraph its messaging.

I really shouldn't have been surprised. We know that the creators of Bad Buddy (Director Aof mostly, but Ohm and Nanon were in on it too) viewed BBS as having told all that needed to be told of PatPran’s story, and this was signified by the apartment door closing on the happy couple’s continued rough-housing at the end of Ep.12.

(above) BBS Ep.12 [4/4] 18.22 and 18.23 – the door closes on Pat and Pran's story (dunno who was swinging it shut though – Nong Nao maybe? 😂)

And this is why OS2 x BBS didn’t show us events post-Ep.12, but chose instead to position the mini-series during the timeskip between Episodes 11 and 12.

So when BBS became the success it did, pressure must have mounted on all sides but especially from the higher-ups to squeeze out a sequel somehow, because it would undoubtedly be a money-spinner. But what more is there to spin out when you, the maker, are convinced that not only is the whole yarn already spun and done, the tapestry you wove from it is pretty much complete as well?

I will go so far as to say I think OS2 x BBS x ATOTS was Director Aof’s escape hatch – instead of trying to spin out more from nothing, he shone a spotlight on a previously unseen section of his opus (letting management and fans know we would be getting Pat and Pran back, but then showing us their timeskip rather than events beyond Ep.12). And a short while later he segued artfully into a related piece, wrangling PatPran into a crossover with ATOTS that would have its message revolve a lot more around PhuTian’s story instead. I'm sure we find out more about Phupha and Tian's relationship too, but I'm not going to go into it in any detail because I'm not as au fait with their backstory as I feel I am with Pat and Pran's; I'm pretty sure though that their story in OS2 was the primary vessel for deeper messaging.

And I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one to pick up on Director Aof making ATOTS do the heavier lifting – see @wen-kexing-apologist’s write-ups linked here and here.

To my mind, Director Aof's bait-and-switch (kind of a hallmark with him) was also signaled at the end of OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [4/4], when Pran had to hike up to Pha Pun Dao just as Tian had done in the original ATOTS.

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [4/4] 10.28

Pran found it as much of a physical ordeal as Tian did, and the parallel with Tian's trajectory is unmistakable (while also being oddly illogical, since Pran should still be pretty fit as an ex-rugby player while Tian is a heart transplant recipient 🤷‍♂️).

But in service of the narrative, when an exhausted Pran finally reaches his destination – it’s the waiting Phupha who faints, not Pran-as-Tian. (In the original ATOTS, it was Tian who fainted at the end of the long hike up to PPD and Phupha was the one who caught him.)

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [4/4] 11.28

For me, this signals that a switch-up has happened, and Phupha's story has somehow taken up continuity from Pran's (and we do see him learning from their similar experiences when they talk in the forest in Ep.3). More than just a callback to ATOTS, it also represents the moment when the red thread of the narrative, the coursing of the prana or qi, symbolically transfers from PatPran's storyline to PhuTian's.

So, summarizing the structure of this four-ep mini-series:

Ep.1 was basically a set-up to get PatPran up to the mountains, padded out with lots of gleeful fanservice moments for BBS fans (not that I'm complaining! 💖);

Ep.2 was devoted to setting out the main subject matter at hand and establishing the framework within which it would be discussed (PhuTian’s relationship, juxtaposed against PatPran’s);

Ep.3 – the jungle jaunt – introduced external conflict as the tool by which the subject could be dissected under scrutiny; and

Ep.4 was of course the resolution, drawing matters to their natural conclusion.

And with regard to Bad Buddy, what we see in OS2’s BBS portions is really a kind of compromise. It’s not a sequel to BBS by a longshot, but mostly a flourish of fanservice instead (hence the generous gifting of callbacks and re-creations of iconic moments from BBS, especially in Ep.1 of the four-parter – some scenes, like the one starting at Ep.1 [1I4] 8.31, consisted almost entirely of callbacks).

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [1I4] 8.47

This is not to say we don't see anything at all with regard to growth though. By situating PatPran's storyline during the timeskip between the original BBS Episodes 11 and 12, we were effectively allowed a glimpse into the state and development of their relationship sometime after the heady hormonal rush of their honeymoon period in Ep.11, and before its relative maturity in Ep.12, and there were some choice moments on display.

OS2 called this out at Ep.2 [2/4] 10.29, when Pat asked "Since we’re here in the North, should we make it our honeymoon trip?", which Pran then dismisses with a reminder of their task at hand (getting PhuTian's permission for his play).

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.2 [2/4] 10.51

The honeymoon reference was a callback to BBS Ep.11, in which Pat was wanting to live indefinitely in a sort-of forever honeymoon by the sea (that even he knew was only illusory). Pran's dismissal of Pat's suggestion in OS2 was a reminder that their honeymoon period was over, and it was time for them to be dealing with the growing pains that every couple faces on their journey to a stable pairing.

What wasn't addressed in the original BBS is that PatPran's natural propensity to draw each other into conflict could not have been healthy for their longer-term relationship post-honeymoon, unless they found a way to corral the constant infighting and invent a set of gentlemen's rules that would prevent damage to their bond.

(above) BBS Ep.5 [1I4] 3.19

And I think this is part of what OS2 was trying to show us (however briefly): Pat and Pran moving toward finding a balance between loving each other and punching each other up (emotionally), despite conflict and rivalry paradoxically being the age-old rockbed of their relationship.

The following are some of the relationship dynamics that they explored in OS2:

Transitioning from an individual mindset to a couple-based one (which was highlighted by Pran's solo expedition to the mountains, before Pat managed to catch up);

Adapting to each other's personal styles (Pran's is spikier, and Pat's more embracing);

Learning about give and take, and looking for win-win outcomes rather than keeping score (in OS2, this was illustrated by how their earlier duels – like who gets the auditorium, who gets the HighTem sponsorship – were framed as zero-sum win-lose situations, where a win for one would mean a loss for the other; it was also given a nod in Pran's talk with Phupha at Ep.3 [4/4] 1.19 regarding his insecurities about who gives more in a relationship).

There are possibly others, but these are just the ones I could suss out with my one haphazard re-watch, and I'm not ready to go looking for them. 🤷‍♂️

Now I was originally going to go into these in detail, but I realize it's not what interests me the most about OS2 x BBS x ATOTS, nor do I think OS2 adequately dealt with these (and/or other) relationship issues between PatPran during the mini-series itself (as in, we aren't shown enough of Pat and Pran working together on detangling the knots in their bond for any suggested resolution at the end of the fourth episode to feel logical and satisfying).

It seems almost as though OS2 x BBS x ATOTS was expecting us to believe that PatPran's Ep.3 trial by forest (which they also went through mostly apart from each other) was enough to be some magically purifying crucible, imparting wisdom via its sufferance.

(above left) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.3 [1I4] 15.16 – Tian, Pran and Kampung lost in the forest; (above right) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.3 [1I4] 17.46 – Pat and Phupha on their wilderness search

We do know that PatPran's journey to arrive at a steady-state couplehood will continue unseen beyond OS2 and that they eventually end up on rock-solid footing, with a set of mutually-agreed ground rules for engagement that is acknowledged and respected, because it's obviously what they have in place by the time we see them in BBS Ep.12 (so much so that their relationship could withstand the difficulties of a long-distance commitment after Pran moves to Singapore).

(above) BBS Ep.12 [3I4] 8.15

I'm willing to accept this because I think OS2 x BBS x ATOTS was not meant to be a PatPran vehicle in the main, and so I will take whatever crumbs are on offer and view their forest ordeal as more metaphor than real-time depiction of their actual process to ground their relationship in greater maturity. (If you'd like to look at PatPran's learning track more in detail however, I can point you to the ever-incisive @miscellar's breakdowns linked here, here and here. 🤩👍)

But what I find really interesting about OS2 x BBS x ATOTS is when PhuTian's storyline gets drawn into the mix – and it happens much earlier than you would think on first watch.

One part of OS2 x BBS x ATOTS that stood out for me was all the discourse around the Engineering play, because quite frankly it felt incongruously spotlighted. First of all, why Snow White? And why an entire scene of Pran demonstrating the art of theater to Pat backstage? I now believe Director Aof was doing this to call attention to some underlying significance.

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [2/4] 9.15

Tumblr user @ranchthoughts has very astutely pointed out that the story of Snow White has many parallels with the original ATOTS (e.g., the gallant woodsman; the fragile, privileged damsel who falls in a swoon; the journey through the forest; the misappropriated heart that doubles as proof of good faith – see these links here, here and here for more 🤩👍).

(above) An illustration of the seven dwarfs finding Snow White by Franz Jüttner, from Sneewittchen (1905)

So by bringing up Snow White, Director Aof was already slyly alluding to PhuTian in OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [2/4].

Although it is not a strict retelling of the fairytale, I think that OS2 x BBS x ATOTS also contains elements of Snow White:

Another character (Phupha) swoons into unconsciousness (like Snow White did after biting the poisoned apple);

There is also a journey through the wilderness (mirroring Snow White's abandonment in the woods and finding her way to the dwarf house);

A cast of supporting characters parallels the seven dwarfs (Kampung is one, and this is perhaps why they dressed him in oversized windbreakers, playing with his proportions to make him seem more dwarf-like; this is also possibly why Pat jokingly mentions Korn playing one of the dwarfs in the Engineering play at Ep.1 [1I4] 13.26 – Drake may have been originally envisioned as part of the cast, in character as Rang, up in the mountains);

The magic mirror, that always tells the truth, is actually PatPran, in whom PhuTian see their own relationship problems reflected, and whose truths help them to better their own dynamic (see Phupha's comments at Ep.4 [3I4] 0.53 and 1.05 – "It has to be you two who play the parts" and "No one gets us better than these two" as well as PhuTian's more light-hearted callbacks to PatPran's cheekier moments, e.g., at Ep.4 [2/4] 1.25 and 1.59).

But it's really Pat and Pran's interaction backstage at Ep.1 [2/4] 8.54 that both illuminates and foreshadows some bigger themes to come in OS2 x BBS x ATOTS (when Pran demonstrates how a simple bench can transform onstage, depending on how you frame it for the audience via the narrative).

(above left) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [2/4] 10.12 – Pran shows Pat how a bench can be a dining table; (above right) BBS Ep.3 [3I4] 9.01 – Pat shows Pran how roleplay can spark a creative bus stop design

On the surface level it's a parallel and callback to PatPran's roleplay at BBS Ep.3 [3I4] 8.38 (although flipping the roles with Pran turning educator doesn't quite gel, given that Pat was fully aware of how to use the power of imagination at the bus-stop).

It's also a tip of the hat to theater legend Peter Brook who famously said "I can take any empty space and call it a bare stage. A man walks across this empty space whilst someone else is watching him, and this is all that is needed for an act of theatre to be engaged", which invokes the same kind of metamorphic magic that turns Pran's bench into a mirror, a dwarf dining table and a glass coffin. (Peter Brook also passed away just a few months before the Our Skyy 2 trailer aired, which lends a poignancy and weight to this moment.)

(above left) Theater legend Peter Brook; (above right) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [2/4] 11.03 – PatPran roleplay Snow White and the glass coffin

The bench as glass coffin is also a metaphor for the constraints that PatPran must face living their relationship in a glass closet – open to view yet limited on all sides by expectations (remembering that they've officially broken up but still have to interact in public on school matters).

And of course it's unmissable that both Snow White's glass coffin and PatPran's relationship are a metaphor for queer lives in the closet. (PatPran leaning in for a kiss on that bench only to be interrupted by a uniformed security guard, is also a tongue-in-cheek reminder about how higher authorities can and do impinge on the freedom of queer people to love freely.)

However, in the context of BL and of Our Skyy 2 as a BL anthology, OS2 x BBS x ATOTS is also a metatextual comment on the telling of queer love stories in the media. The entire four-parter can be seen as a metaphor (or more correctly, an allegory) regarding the commodification of LGBTQ+ love by the BL industry itself, if you will, as well as some of the issues this stirs up.

In OS2 we have:

PatPran turning PhuTian's love story into a drama for public consumption;

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.4 [3I4] 7.00

The emphasis placed on consent for that story to be used (in the words of Ajahn Pichai at Ep.1 [2/4] 12.15, 12.31 and 12.38, and PhuTian's exchange at Ep.2 [1I4] 16.30) and the comment that partial consent is not enough (from Pran at Ep.2 [1I4] 10.18 and 20.22);

(top) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.1 [2/4] 12.38; (middle) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.2 [1I4] 16.32; (bottom) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.2 [1I4] 20.22

Phupha's objection to being portrayed as a one-dimensional love interest, reduced to only his romanticized and/or sexualized self (Ep.2 [1I4] 18.35), instead of being seen as a fully-realized human being in his own right (Ep.2 [1I4] 18.25);

(top) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.2 [1I4] 18.35; (bottom) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.2 [1I4] 18.25

Pran detecting Phupha's self-doubt and commenting at Ep.3 [4/4] 0.58: "Why do I feel like you’re just insecure and not sure if you’re good enough to tell anyone that story?";

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.3 [4/4] 0.58

Phupha finally giving permission for PatPran to dramatize his and Tian's story, with the proviso that Tian and he be played by PatPran themselves (Ep.4 [3I4] 0.48).

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.4 [3I4] 0.48

The parallels with the BL industry are striking. (I'm sticking with BL as the established industry here, but you could perhaps apply the same points to the nascent GL as well.) No disrespect to allies, but Director Aof is pointedly saying the following:

Queer love stories are constantly being dramatized in Thai media (by cishet-dominated parties and largely for cishet consumption) – but this is often done without the LGBTQ+ community having much say, let alone any consent, in the matter;

The commodification of queer love (especially in the BL industry) has resulted in most productions forefronting the romantic and/or sexual aspects of the narrative (understandable, because these are romance-driven), but this also has the unfortunate result of reducing the queer characters to pretty vessels for love stories, deified and/or fetishized, and with limited room for more to be said about other aspects of their queer lives;

Perhaps because of discrimination, people might still be carrying the idea in their heads that queer stories are somehow less valid than the cishet ones that dominate media (remembering how SOTUS had to break the mold for BL, and InkPa for GL) – and the call sometimes even comes from inside the house, when queer people feel that their stories may somehow be unsuitable for mainstream channels (as echoed by Phupha's insecurity, called out by Pran at Ep.3 [4/4] 0.58).

Not only are queer stories that exist beyond the romantic/sexual dimension worthy of being told in a more expansive arena (Pran's Architecture play, and its reception), the LGBTQ+ community should be mindful when control of how these stories are told and who gets to tell them is not in its hands (echoed by "neutral" Ajahn Pichai's reminder about consent, and Phupha's insistence on having a trusted couple incarnate his and Tian's story).

But remembering Director Aof's leanings toward LGBTQ+ activism in his work, it's also possible to read the drama in OS2 x BBS x ATOTS as an allegory itself for real-life situations, beyond this BL anthology's metatextual comment on the BL industry. I think that this is the ultimate message with PhuTian's story being the finale for Our Skyy 2 (landing not coincidentally during Pride Month and all).

With the metaphors in Pran's theater class backstage and the BL allegory as a launchpad, OS2 x BBS x ATOTS (and Ep.4 especially) is also allegory for queer life in a broader context:

In wider society, the narrative for queer lives has for so long been dominated by the cishet majority and dictated by it (just as the queer romances in BL have had to respond to cishet impulses).

So many queer people have to live their lives with varying degrees of (in)visibility, subject to unseen but still suffocating constraints (Snow White's glass coffin, standing in for the proverbial closet).

Queer lives often take on a performative public face and people have to pretend to be less than their whole truth (Pran's bench, actually so much more than meets the eye).

Queer individuals' self-worth and self-acceptance are influenced by the views of those outside the community, whether coming from family or larger society (Phupha's insecurity, called out by Pran at Ep.3 [4/4] 0.58).

Remembering how Heart in Director Aof's recent (and also mega-important) work Moonlight Chicken was sequestered away by his parents because he was different (i.e., he was a Heart who did not fit what they perceived as "normal"), there is also a parallel in OS2 with Tian whose heart is one step removed from what is considered the norm by wider society (being a transplant from Torfun in ATOTS).

(above) Moonlight Chicken Ep.5 [4/4] 12.23 – Heart weeps in silence at his isolation

Tian's heart often causes him pain, and he is often enfeebled or constrained by it, but even so he loves with his heart just as hard as the next guy (maybe even more, seen not just in his relationship with Phupha but also in his compassion for his students and especially the lost Kampung).

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.3 [3I4] 2.57

We are shown that Tian is not willing to be held back by his difference, and expects to live his life to the fullest. It's just that he needs to live his life a little differently, and indeed he thrives when he is given the right circumstances (controlled exertion, and the right sustenance/medication) and freedom to do so. And all this is of course a metaphor for queer people, whose hearts also love differently from the cishet majority's, and who are simply asking for the freedom and space to live their best lives.

So in a sense – just as PatPran were a magic mirror to PhuTian – OS2 x BBS x ATOTS is also Snow White's magic mirror held up to its audience, reflecting truths about queer life back to all who are watching.

But as is typical of Director Aof's work, Our Skyy 2 also suffuses its message with hope, so it's not all hard truths, raw and unvarnished. The series draws to a close on an uplifting note, and as an allegory it hails on behalf of the queer community the hope of a positive future that is presented as not only attainable, but also deserved.

Homophobia is not shown to exist in this universe (as was the case with BBS and also ATOTS). So when Phupha meets up with Tian in Bangkok, they're surrounded by a supportive network of family, friends and allies who were working together to make Phupha's attendance at Tian's birthday celebration a reality.

(top) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.4 [4/4] 3.06 – Tian's birthday celebration with his parents, best friend Tul and surprise guest Phupha; (bottom) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.4 [4/4] 4.32 – Tian's parents give Phupha their blessing to marry Tian

Tian's parents also giving joyful, proud and formal blessing to their union, as well as Tul and Yod's cheerful assistance, all signal the aspirational message that a better, more accepting world is possible for the LGBTQ+ community.

And of course that super-romantic wedding proposal caps it all off:

(top) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.4 [4/4] 8.46 – Phupha kisses Tian's hand after placing the engagement ring on his finger; (bottom) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.4 [4/4] 12.16 – Phupha and Tian's post-engagement kiss by the pool

But it's not just trumpeting support for marriage equality, the cause célèbre that BL series have been championing over the past few years. Noting that Thailand is expected to legalize LGBTQ+ marriage in the coming weeks or months, queer people in the country are now daring to look to the future with much more hope in their hearts. 💖

With this as the context, Phupha and Tian's engagement in the present, with matrimonial union set for the future, can also be seen as symbolizing the hope of even better days to come – when members of the queer community will finally be afforded equal rights in all respects. And I think this has given Our Skyy 2's last episode a rainbow flourish truly worthy of Pride Month 2023. 😍

‌ P.S. Not to take away from the importance of Director Aof's vision, but this is a Bad Buddy blog after all, so I will close this write-up with a bit of a rewind back to PatPran. We didn't get to see a whole lot of information regarding their relationship growth in the four episodes of OS2 x BBS x ATOTS, but there is an Easter Egg hiding within the layers near the end. One of the issues that Pat and Pran had to deal with as a new-ish couple was how to move away from scorekeeping in their constant, competitive jostling. Their first few contests that we saw in OS2 x BBS x ATOTS were win-lose ones ("if you get it, it means that I won't", e.g., the use of the auditorium and the HighTem sponsorship), and that kind of dynamic would only have been corrosive for their couplehood in the longer term. What we see in OS2 x BBS x ATOTS is that in the end they somehow arrive at a win-win instead (just as their Ep.6 Beachside Bet in Bad Buddy sidestepped a black-and-white win-lose outcome and gave them both the winner's prize of being in love). I don't have proof that it's intentional, but Director Aof and his team are certainly clever enough to have planned it to be so. For if ATOTS really is a version of Snow White, both of them got to stage their plays (and share in the sponsorship) since Pran's play (ATOTS) is also Pat's play (Snow White). OS2 x BBS x ATOTS winks at this with Pat – an Engine boy – playing Snow White/Tian, and by showing Wai and Korn in cahoots backstage (why should Engineering student Korn be helping with the Archi play anyway?). 😍

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.4 [3I4] 6.55 And then PatPran are of course forced to kiss onstage (celebrating their union in more ways than one).

(above) OS2 x BBS x ATOTS Ep.4 [3I4] 7.13 Another sly little wink from OS2, they're lovers pretending to be enemies pretending to be lovers, which in a way is also emblematic of OS2 x BBS x ATOTS's deeper message, told matryoshka-style with layers of allegorical meaning. 💖

‌

[itwoodbeprefect]

5, 8, 13, 37!

5. Share one of your strengths.

i was trying to think of something i haven't answered to this type of question in similar ask games before, so i'll go with a slightly sideways take and say, hey, i like my own writing. which is great! it means i get to have fun writing it, and it's (mostly) not a chore to read it a dozen times, and then once it's posted i optionally get to sit down and read this story i like that checks off a whole bunch of specific things i want from fic. i would never ever have been able to write as much as i have, or learn to write as well, if i didn't enjoy reading my own writing.

-

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

this is from something that still hasn't been posted (though soon, hopefully. let's ignore that i've been thinking that about this fic for at least six months), but i think it's a fun exchange that fits the way steve and danny express their love through their bicker-banter dynamic, and i really enjoy how this flows with the bits of description too:

The door to the master bedroom doesn’t creak either, but the bed rustles when the dark shape of Steve’s head pops up. “What’s happening?” Steve asks, at a tone a touch too proud to be a whisper. He doesn’t sound like Danny just woke him up, but that might just be Steve’s Steveness.

Danny pauses at the foot of the bed regardless. He’s tired, so he figures it’s best to go hard on the offensive rather than prepare for a lengthy sparring session. A little too much truth usually does the trick. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here,” the Steve shape says, from right there.

Like Danny doesn’t know that. “I know that,” he says, because he does know that. He knew that even when he was in the other room, and it didn’t functionally change anything. “Did I say I was being rational about this?”

The Steve shape is quiet for a moment, like he’s waiting Danny out. “Well, what are you doing all the way over there?” he asks eventually, like that’s the part of what Danny is doing that’s insane.

Danny’s chest finally feels whole again, but he ignores it because he’s busy walking around the bed and getting in under the sheet and complaining. “You hadn’t invited me yet. I’m not in the habit of climbing into other guys’ beds uninvited.”

Steve flops down on his front, muttering right into his pillow, “Yeah, you are.”

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13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

show don't tell? which is tricky because like almost any writing advice, it's not a magical rule that always applies and can never be broken, and you do need to learn how to apply it well. but oooh. ohoho. if a newer writer starts figuring this out, it levels up their writing tenfold. i know mine got better when i started doing this more intentionally.

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37. Talk about your current wips.

oooh, i don't even know what counts as a current wip for me at the moment, so this will be very scattered. but i guess the things that have been on my mind the most are the last chapter of A flip-flop state of mind (it will happen! at some point!); the nearly finished h50 fic that the snippet above is from (which is superficially about junior moving out of the mcgarrett home, but that's just a cover for a very domestic getting together fic); another h50 fic that's, well, more domesticity (but established relationship), and is 95% dialogue so far, though it's not supposed to become a dialogue-only fic; somehow two different starsky/hutch fics of which both are in some way inspired by a song by dutch singer boudewijn de groot; another starsky/hutch fic based on a dutch song, only this time it's by someone else (and more actively relevant to the fic. i may end up translating the whole song if this fic ever gets posted, purely as optional context); a bad buddy fic in which pat and pran's respective best friends try to be annoying (affectionately) but get outclassed by patpran's competitive streak, and they all acknowledge (some with more dismay than others) that they've become friends; and finally another bad buddy fic which. i think it's done, probably. it's been done for weeks, i just can't decide if i like it the way it is or if i need to figure out a way to switch a certain part up before i hit post. i think at least in part it's that i'm running into the inherent difficulty in getting a character to Sound Right through a translation, which has made me go "oh my god how did i do that" a lot at the many many years i was constantly writing dutch fic for english media. but i'll figure it out! i hope.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Shipper Tag Game

I was tagged in this game by @twig-tea, appreciate the tag but also bestie this is so many questions.

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

Is this the part where I have to confess to being a superwholockian in my past? I no longer care about JohnLock or DeanCas, the evil is defeated!

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

Oh it was almost certainly Beast Boy and Raven from Teen Titans

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

Magnus Bane x Alec Lightwood from Shadowhunters, I wrote a bunch of fanfics for them when I was younger. I did not anticipate how many views I would get on a couple of them, so that was cool! (shameless plug to check out my AO3 account, Sent2TheBeast. Unfortunately most of my fics are now locked due to how people feed content to AI software)

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

Do I actually remember? No. Was it most likely something from Harry Potter or Supernatural? Yeah.

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

Baby, I write BL essays on tumblr, I think the minute I posted my first analysis I was signing up to ride the discourse wave.

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

Honestly any incestuous plot lines I am typically very against: Wincest, Brallie, etc.

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

I read a beautifully written VegasPete fic by the wonderful @ginnymoonbeam

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

How much time do you have? Kurosawa x Adachi/Karan x Achi; Togawa x Nozue; Minoru x Yutaka; PatPran; MorkTawan; Han Baram x Im Hantae; Shin Ki Tae x Lee Wan; Kenji x Shiro; etc etc etc

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

Not that I can think of, but I will just give a generic shout out to all the queer baiting of old. BUT I DO HAVE COUPLES I AM EXTREMELY MAD ABOUT GETTING TOGETHER. AkkTheo and SandRay I am looking at you!!!

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

I will give this one to @bengiyo. I was not a fan of Korn and Intouch from Until We Meet Again because of how one-sided the relationship seemed to me. But conversations with Ben gave me deeper insights in to Korn and have had me reconsidering my impression of that relationship.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David would almost certainly get me cancelled considering Ziva's service history in Israel. Glad I was able to free myself of the cop/military propaganda that is NCIS when I entered high school.

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

I don't really embrace the crack culture, I am not a huge fan of crack vids, crack fics, crack ships

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of?

Of all the couples I read fanfics for, I think Malec from Shadowhunters was probably my most frequently read.

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

I feel like 99% of the ships that have wormed their way in to my brain to the point of obsession (aka me making fan art, writing fics, etc) lies in the complexity and opposition of character's to one another. For example:

In Shadowhunters, the tension between Magnus being a warlock and Alec being a Shadowhunter and how they navigate the fact that The Institute and his own family have caused and continue to cause active harm to Magnus and the other Downworlders.

In Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom, the extremely contradictory nature of Kaz Brekker's existence and how that impacts his relationship with and to Inej. I wrote a number of Kanej fics because I could not stop thinking about the fact that Kaz and Inej want to touch each other, want to be intimate with each other, and their extensive trauma makes that damn near impossible.

In Pushing Daises, the inability to touch, the tension between loving someone so much and knowing that to touch them would be to kill them is just so fascinating.

In The Old Guard, Joe and Nicky having been together for 900 years when we meet them so you wouldn't think there is a complex tension there per say, but they were on opposite sides of The Crusades and had to work through that to cultivate a literally eternal love. And not just that (honestly less so that) but the tension between their line of work as mercenaries, their immortality, and knowing that one day, completely unannounced that immortality will stop. I could not stop thinking about how many times those two have had to watch each other die, waiting and wondering if their lover would come back to life this time around.

In Bad Buddy, Pat and Pran not only having to navigate their relationship with the incredibly antagonistic relationship between their parents but Pat having to parse through all these years of competition, hatred, fighting, to understand that all this time he's loved Pran.

gif by @barrowsteeth 15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

Lack of reciprocity. This is not to say the relationship has to be completely balanced. I don't think that it is a realistic possibility that every aspect of a romantic relationship exists in perfect harmony. But I've written about this before, my theory as to why so many BL boys get sick, in order to allow the person who has received more of the support throughout the show to care for their partner. I am a very outspoken Enchante anti because I hate Theo so fucking much. Theo's incompetency and Akk's incessant need to help him got Akk fired from his job, Theo lied about Enchante, and Theo moved back to France and made Akk work on his own to earn enough money for a motherfucking plane ticket to France. None of that being marketed as romantic is okay with me.

tagging: @emotionallychargedtowel, @neuroticbookworm, @telomeke, @negrowhat, and @solitaryandwandering

[mahuhumaling]

why pran singing the unfinished version of "our song" is one of my top 5 fav bbs scenes

EXT. PRASERTSILP HIGH SCHOOL CAMPUS — DAY

adding a layer to highschool!patpran by introducing us to their juniors specifically in their music club is cute and clever.

this show has a great habit of establishing things early on (pran starts writing the song in EP2 shortly after applying in EP1) and paying it off before the show ends. the Chekhov's Gun Principle approves.

we get confirmation from p'aof (?) that pran's guitar is a metaphor for pat and his relationship with him.

forbidding to play it, it being kept for years and returned (= university reunion), then at EP12 dissaya getting it herself and laying it for her son to play... yeah.

pat also being smart because he knows exactly how to get to pran, by making a deal.

this scene is so easy breezy. that even though they're in public now, there are no more pretenses. they get to be comfortable.

also wait! cute goof up. they decided to keep that in because it's natural. i think his forehead got hit by the guitar, haha.

speaking of natural, thank you that pran did some testing and tuning because no one immediately remembers the chords and plays it. lol

and then, when pran actually starts playing, the lighting changes. he looks more angel-like.

p'aof said that the windy effect wasn't on purpose. sir i'm glad you shot this scene like this, even though it must've been hard to pick up audio, because it looks so good.

again, natural. pran sing so slowly because he's trying to remember the lyrics.

i kind of bashed episode 3's guitar hallway scene because the background music didn't make way for pran playing the guitar. there was music on top of music it was kind of annoying lmao but

they made it up with this scene. they let only the sound of the wind, the strings, and nanon's voice take over quietly.

hats off to Pat's multitasking and attention though?? deciphering the lyrics and then stopping to admire Pran. brooo. you're so down bad.

but seriously, the simplicity in their looks. we see in the show's first half how and why pran fell in love with pat, so now we see here the vice versa. (pun not intended)

i have a feeling the song draft actually ends at the previous line, about the sky, sea, or other kind of splendor.

but pran improvises the beginning of the refrain right here. because when he can serenade to pat like this, he can finally answer the question in the first verse.

because see how he stops and looks up before and after he sings this line: it felt like he wasn't recalling, but rather making up one on the spot.

this scene was simply a masterclass of the simplicity of romantic chemistry. the fondness in the eyes. the succeeding revelation of pat's memory.

remember when tumblr user absolutebl said nanon emotes with his eyes? because yes. god yes.

look at him. pran is very surprised. but what is more on the surface are warmth and affection once he learns of this fact and that hears it from pat himself.

i love how nanon chooses to fall into a trance-like state while looking at pat, so much that pran has to visibly shake himself off of it by blinking and looking away to continue the sincere conversation playfully. he's so INFJ for this.

we end with pran learning that pat has liked him back just as long as him, which makes both him and i happy.

the lack of awareness pat has with the nature of feelings he has for pran doesn't invalidate its existence: that it's romantic in nature.

[x.]

MY TOP 5 FAVORITE BAD BUDDY SCENES

(In no actual order)

3 - Broken Bus Stop Redesigning

5 - Fight in the Dorm Parking Lot

10 - Pran Sings "Our Song" Draft

10 - InkPa in the Darkroom

12 - Dissaya Watches Ming