#in my defense: i came in at 7!!! am today

[verstappenf1lecccc]

Imma need this haah so I was watching the race yesterday and I heard Nando come on the radio to say he would have given in by now but he needs to do it for a few people etc and I’ve seen the video at the end of the race where he’s struggling to get out of the car I can’t send it if you haven’t seen it and was thinking of Nando x reader based around this. You know me throw some angst in there and lots of fluff please 🙏 your my favourite Nando writer I love your work ❤️

I am so sorry this took so long I have an exam today and just wanted to finish it before I went in!! i hope you like it :)

For you

Fernando Alonso had never been one to back down from a challenge or a fight.

It wasn’t in his nature.

He never caved, never gave up, no matter how overwhelming the situation or how drained he felt.

That was what made the Brazilian Grand Prix such a shock—not just to Aston Martin, but to you, especially.

You had been by Fernando’s side for over 10 years, and his wife for 7 of those.

You knew him inside out, perhaps better than anyone else. You knew how stubborn he could be, how relentless, especially when it came to the risks he took behind the wheel.

The race had been brutal.

The heat was suffocating, visibility was near zero in certain sectors, and the pressure to deliver was immense.

You’d been watching from the edge of your seat, every moment fraught with anxiety. You were praying to anyone who could hear, hoping for a safe race. But deep down, you couldn’t shake the fear that his age was beginning to catch up with him.

Fernando wasn’t the young firecracker he once was, yet he never showed any sign of slowing down.

To the media, to the world, he was as fit and strong as ever. But with you—he was different. With you, he didn’t have to wear that mask of invulnerability.

That day in Brazil, the race had pushed him to his limits. The physical exhaustion, the mental strain, the constant, unrelenting pressure to win—it all weighed heavily on him.

You had seen him on those mornings when he woke up groaning in pain, his back stiff from the wear and tear of years of racing, and you knew it wasn’t just the way he slept. You knew the strain his body was under, but he would never admit it. Never to the world, and never to himself.

Yet, despite it all, there was something deeper driving him forward. Something that kept him pushing when every muscle in his body screamed for him to stop.

Just before the race, you two had fought. It had been a long, tense argument, your voices raised in frustration. You had begged him, pleaded with him, “Fernando, you need to slow down. The risks you’re taking, they’re too much. I don’t want to lose you.”

But he had been defensive, angry even. His pride, his need to prove he still had it, had made him dismiss your concerns. “I know what I’m doing,” he had snapped, his voice cutting through the tension. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

He had stormed off, leaving you with nothing but the echo of his words. But you knew, deep down, he wasn’t angry at you—he was angry at himself. Because even though he wouldn’t admit it, there was a fear in him now, a fear of not being able to keep up with the younger drivers. A fear of losing that edge he had worked his whole life to perfect.

But despite all of that, there was something else on his mind, something driving him forward when his body screamed for him to give in.

He'd heard it on the radio, his voice a low rasp as he pushed back against the exhaustion. "I would’ve given up by now, but I can't. I need to do this... for them. For a few people..." For you.

When the race finally ended, Fernando was barely able to stand. His body had been pushed to its absolute limit. The pain was overwhelming, and as he dragged himself out of the car, the world around him spun. His hands were trembling, his legs unsteady, and yet it wasn’t the physical exhaustion that alarmed you. It was the look in his eyes—defeat, vulnerability, a quiet acknowledgment that maybe, just maybe, you had been right.

You were there before he could take another step, rushing to his side. You didn’t need to say anything—your arms around him, the steady pressure of your embrace, spoke volumes. You could feel the weight of his body as he leaned into you, his breaths shallow, strained. His voice was barely audible when he spoke.

"I don’t know how much longer I can do this," he whispered, his words thick with exhaustion, both physical and emotional.

You didn’t hesitate. "You can," you replied softly, but firmly. "You always can. But only if you let yourself breathe sometimes, Nando."

He didn’t answer at first. His fingers clenched around your shirt, his face buried in your hair as though trying to find solace in your presence. For a moment, the roar of the crowd, the flashing lights, everything else faded away. All that mattered was you and him, the two of you in that moment, holding each other together.

You stepped back slightly to look into his eyes, the exhaustion etched deep into his features. You cupped his face gently in your hands. "You don’t have to carry it all. Not alone. Let me help you. Let me in."

He finally met your gaze, his eyes shadowed with the weight of the race, of the argument, of everything he had been bottling up. For a brief moment, you saw a flicker of regret. His voice was small, apologetic, and raw. “I was wrong, about everything. You were right. I pushed too hard today. I… I can’t keep going like this.”

A lump formed in your throat, but you swallowed it down. You could see the cracks in his armor, the vulnerability he had never let anyone see before. The fight in him wasn’t gone—it had simply shifted. Now it wasn’t about winning races or proving himself to the world, it was about finding balance, finding peace.

"You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, Fernando," you whispered, your hand gently brushing his cheek. "Not to me. Not to anyone. Just… come back to me in one piece, okay?"

He nodded, a tear slipping from his eye, and for the first time in a long while, you saw the man who had been running on empty—tired, afraid, and so desperately in need of someone to hold him.

and you would always be there to do that.

[chicorysaints]

trying this new challenge called “stable employment.” the objective is to not break down every time i go to work

[starringthesturniolos]

baby it's cold outside - chris sturniolo

summary: you are forced to share the air mattress with your long time enemy, chris, on a camping trip.

"Since you two wanted to argue the whole way up, you guys get to share a tent together. Yay!!", Matt says while jumping up and down in fake excitement.

On the way to the camp site, Chris and I did argue a lot. But in my defense, the idiot kept pushing my buttons! He kept turning my least favorite songs on and blasting them at full volume so I couldn't sleep. When we stopped at 7/11 he grabbed the last of my favorite drink and gulped it down in front of me. When we finally arrived, he dumped all my heavy bags on the ground and laughed at me struggling to pick them up. It was like he was asking to get yelled at, or like he wanted me to be mad at him.

"No, Matt please!" I grab onto his arm desperately. "I'm sorry but please don't make me stay with him!"

Matt rolls his eyes at me and folds his arms over his chest. "Would you rather sleep outside then?" I scoff and shoot a glare towards Chris who isn't standing too far behind Matt. "Yeah, sounds about right."

"Sleep outside then. That's fine by me, princess." Chris sneers responding to my comment while turning his back on me to set up his tent. I take three deep breathes and close my eyes. I am not going to let this idiot keep getting under my skin. I stomp away from Matt and Chris over to the log Nick was sitting on and he laughs at me.

"Well hello, Mrs. Grumpy"

"Oh shut up" you sigh.

I plop my bag down on the floor, my chest heaving from hauling ass. I had to carry my heavy bags all the way from where Chris dropped them earlier today to the tent. He was laying all comfortable in his set up of blankets and the sight alone pissed me off.

"Thought you were sleeping outside tonight. Is it because you're scared of the animals, princess?" he sneers out the nickname like I'm more of an ogre than a princess. Why is he always so fucking annoying.

"Leave me alone, and I leave you alone. I'm going to bed. I'm tired and I'm not here for the bullshit." I say as I reach into my bag for my sleeping bag. My sleeping bag. Holy shit.

"Shit, shit, shit" you dump out your bag and see no sleeping bag in sight. Its cold out and the thought of sleeping without any covering made a shiver crawl down your spine.

"What is it now??" Chris sits up and turns the flashlight on in an exasperated manner. You sigh deeply. "It's nothing, go to bed Chris." He shrugs and lies down again, turning his back to me. I didn't need to give him another reason to tease me tonight. I flop on the ground on the opposite side of the tent from him and curl up into a ball. I can feel myself shivering but I try to ignore it.

Thinking back on when I first met the triplets in 3rd grade, I remember how cute I thought Chris was. I met Nick and Matt on the bus ride home from school one day when Chris was sick. The next day, me, Matt, and Nick were playing tag at recess when Chris walked out with a doctors note in hand. He walked over to his brothers and my heart skipped a beat. Immediately, Nick and Matt went to introduce me. "Chris! This is-" before Nick could even finish his sentence, Chris was already talking. "Well, isn't she a looker" he chuckles sarcastically while looking down at me, clearly judging me. I also looked down at my two loose braids and hand me down clothes and sigh. "Am I really that ugly" I thought to myself. I knew I probably shouldn't have let a boy that I hardly knew opinion get to me, but the tears came nonetheless." I wanted him to like me" you thought to yourself, wallowing in self pity. I was cut out of my trance when Chris started to laugh sporadically. "What? What is it?" I mutter looking at Chris and then too Matt and Nick who look embarrassed by their brothers rude antics. "Nothing, nothing. Its just... You're even uglier when you cry!" he starts laughing even harder. I felt myself start to shake from embarrassment and anger. Who did he think he was. "Your mean!" I stomped my foot which only made him laugh harder. I couldn't take anymore harassment in one day, and turned on my heel and ran away with Nick and Matt right on my heels.

After all these years he still hasn't changed. "Y/N, HELLO!!" Chris yells bringing me back to the present. "What?".

"Where the fuck is your sleeping bag?" he asks. I sit up from where I was laying to face him. He was now laying down with his body faced in my direction.

"Oh my God, clearly not here or I'd be using it, dumbass." I roll my eyes and go to lay back down.

"Lose the attitude and come stay in the bed with me" he mutters before I can return to my balled up position. My mouth flys open. Since when did he care if I was cold or not. "Wait, what?" I say in shock.

"Get the fuck up and come here. Nick and Matt will punch me in the throat if you catch a cold." he says nonchalantly as if it's normal for people that hate each other to share a bed. I roll my eyes again. I'm not sharing a bed with an asshole, even if it causes me to freeze to death. "No thanks" I scoff, preparing to lay back down again.

He sighs exasperated and moves from his comfortable position in his blankets. He stands up and starts walking towards me. I feel my throat start to tense up. "What are you doing?" fear creeping into my tone. Once he reaches me, he grips underneath my thighs with one hand and tries to support my back with the other. Desperately, I try to wiggle out of his grasp but too no avail. I am in his arms in no time. It takes everything in me to not sink into his warm chest. I didn't realize how cold I was until this exact moment. Suddenly I start to panic again when he starts to walk because I have no idea where he's taking me. Then I think of the worst. "Are you seriously gonna throw me out the tent. Come on Chris, do you really hate me that much??"

He stops moving entirely and he looks down at me. God the way he looks looking down at me is enough to be in any girls dream. Too bad he's just a big dickhead. "You weren't listening to me. So now I'm forcing you to stay with me on the air mattress." he pauses before continuing, almost like he doesn't want to say what he's going to say next. He sighs and continues on, "You were shivering really bad while you were in La La land. I didn't want you too freeze anymore." He had a glimmer of concern in eyes when he said it and that's all it takes for me to believe him. I hate the way my cheeks warm up from the honest confession. It meant he cared, and it shouldn't matter to me but it does.

He starts to walk again, seeing I had no response and plops me down on the mattress. He flops down right beside me, and even though it's warmer with the blankets, it's not enough. Another shiver racks through me. "Y/n??" Chris doesn't even try to hide the concern in his voice. "Do you need me closer? Will that help?" he looks at me waiting for my call. The thought of Chris getting close to me is enough to make my head spin. And as much as I wish being in Chris' arms would repeal me, it doesn't. Instead I feel my heart skip a beat like they did all those years ago. Get it together Y/n.

"Yes" I whisper. Chris doesn't need to be told twice and he pulls me impossibly close to his body. He grabs my thigh and puts it around his waist and then pulls my head into his chest. All I can sense is him. Instead of it annoying me, I lean into his scent and his warmth. In my heart I know that even if it was the hottest night of all time, I'd still enjoy being wrapped in him like this. And I hated myself for it. I melt into his arms and feel myself getting lulled to sleep. Just as I'm about to fall asleep I feel his lips graze my hair. " I could never hate you, angel, not in a million years. I'm sorry". And with those words, I fall asleep in his arms.

Send in request, I could always use some more inspo

Love, Mya

[icyg4l]

PAC: What Do Your Passed On Loved Ones Admire About You?

Hello beautiful people! Today's reading will be a lot more serious than normal so this is a warning for those who will get emotionally triggered. Your passed on loved ones are with you always! I am simply just passing on the message. My condolences to those who have lost a loved one in their lifetime. If you are interested in this reading, please don't be afraid to dm me so that you can book with me! Be sure to refer to my guidelines and dm me if you have any questions. Without further ado, please pick the image that resonates with you the most.

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-6)

Pile One: Tenacity and strength are the first characteristics that come to mind. Your passed on loved one wants you to know that your childlike innocence is a gift not a curse. This could be your uncle. You are someone that can get the truth out of everyone simply because you know what to say. There’s not a lot that you have to say either. You’re quite the persuasive being. They also admire how level-headed you are. Some of your loved ones were more on the fiery side and because of that, they wish they could have been more balanced with their temperament when they were still here. However, this does not mean that you back down to a fight. You know when to open your mouth to protest against the injustices of the world. You have an undying love for humanity, nature and animals. You are so sensitive and precious to your loved ones. You also know when you’ve made a mistake. Your passed on loved ones see you as their Princess Diana. You’re kind and loving to all, but you fight when your back is against the wall or when others are being judged.

Cards Used: 6 of Cups, 7 of Wands, The Magician, 9 of Discs, Princess of Discs, 3 of Discs.

extras: blue ribbon ice cream. no limits. satisfaction guaranteed. mild. “there’s a lesson in everything.” monthly visits. crown. like mike (2002). lesbian. learning accommodations.

Pile Two: “You’re so cool” is the first thing that I heard. You are someone who is the standard. You are the Beyonce of your family. People try to impress you because you’re just that girl/guy/enby. You are an angel on earth. I feel like some of you were bullied when you were younger and this person came to your defense. This could have been an older sibling/cousin, maybe your mother who was younger than most. But you did not let these traumatic events harden you. You grew into a beautiful person. This pile as a whole went through a lot of back-to-back trauma in their lives but your passed on loved one wants you to know that they admire your peaceful approach to life. You are someone that is easy to bond with. I feel like you choose not to drink when the opportunity is presented because you have a bit of a temper when drunk. Your passed on loved one could have been the same way. You also have a fair way of viewing things. You try not to be biased when shown two sides of the story. You consider everything. You value the truth and the moral of the situation. Your integrity matters, Pile Two. Your passed on loved one wants you to continue to be this way.

Cards Used: Knight of Wands, Temperance, The Moon, 4 of Swords, Death, King of Swords, 6 of Discs.

extras: wet shirt. pushya moon. water sign. effervescent. sniffing flowers. moniker. “grown man.” glow. party pants. amazon. purify. NBA roster. sims 4 gaming channel. kawaii.

Pile Three: You are so humble, dear. Your passed on loved ones really admired your ability to talk to anyone. You never felt like you were above anyone. You treat everyone with the respect they deserve. You have stripped yourself down to the point where everyone can see through you clearly. You do not have to depend on material things to make up your self-concept. Your vulnerability is beautiful. It’s not a level of self-awareness that everyone can achieve. Some people may try to make you feel bad for where you come from but you carry yourself with nonchalance. That saying about sticks and stones is personified. Your passed on loved ones admire how you stay out of the way. “This is a crazy world” I heard. It feels like this is an elder talking to you. They believe that you will do big things in this world despite how little you have come from. You were not set up for failure. You have the tools to improve your situation.

Cards Used: The Star (RX), 6 of Cups, The Hermit, The High Priestess, Princess of Discs, Wheel of Fortune.

extras: neck tattoo. “kiss the ring.” ring around the rosie. martian. elephant in the room. malleable. solar system. troubleshoot. best buy. filled gas tank. empty condom box. snoring. aaliyah.

Pile Four: Your passed on loved one admires you in totality. This is your lover, could have been your fiance/fiancee. This also could have been your best friend. They miss your scent. They miss being in your presence, period. They love the shape of your eyes. They love the way you smile and tilt your head downward. You have this unexplainable quality about you that lights up the room. They know that life is different without them but they want you to keep going. Your go-getter, flirtatious nature is admirable as well. You have this lust for life that everyone should have. Your lover misses your physical touch. Your ability to get up every morning and go to sleep at night makes them want to come back down to Earth temporarily. Your person could have had some egotistical qualities about themselves but they love that you loved them with all your heart. They see you as their other half. They want to reunite with you in another life. This story is to be continued, my love.

Cards Used: Princess of Swords, 9 of Wands, 4 of Cups, King of Wands, 2 of Cups, The Lovers.

extras: eartha kitt. purr. austin powers costumes. chapell roan. meeting in college. musical.ly.

Pile Five: You take pride in your appearance. You stay in the gym to keep your figure right. You get your nails and hair done. You pick out the right colors for your wardrobe. You stay on top of your shit. But you also have this side to you that is in tune with the world around you. You have the perfect amount of both feminine and masculine energy to them. Are you a lawyer or social justice advocate? Your passed on loved one wants you to know that you can do all. You’re living proof that anything can happen. This feels like a male’s energy. He was a dominating force in the household and he was young. This could be your father or older brother. They are smiling down on how you have manifested everything that you two talked about. They were there in spirit when you made history/reached a milestone. They also admire how you keep in touch with family even after their death. They admire how you keep your promises even if it’s something that you don’t want to do. You need to learn to ask for help though and stop being so stubborn. They appreciate the altar you dedicated to them. If not, you need to. It would strengthen the relationship between the two of you.

Cards Used: Ace of Cups, The Emperor, Queen of Cups, Justice, The Star, 10 of Wands, 10 of Cups.

extras: quen blackwell. new workout plan (2004). ari fletcher. olivia pope. kpop bias. fallen curtain. sweeping feet.

Pile Six: When I pulled for you, I thought of the movie ‘Paid in Full’. Whoever your loved one is, they lived a dangerous/risky life at some point. But they admire how cutthroat you are. You get stuff done. You keep stuff moving. Your passed on loved one says that you have their swag. You have a lot of mental energy. You’re smart, both book and street smart. Your loved one says to stay safe and live life to the fullest; but also live it the clean way. They like how you stay outside in nature with the wildlife. I feel like you are the breadwinner or you at least have a lot of money saved up. You are attempting to gain financial stability at a young age and I can hear claps because of that, lol. Along with your practical side, they admire your outlook on life. You try to be as fiscal as possible but you also try to enjoy the fruits of your labor. You will party with a lot of people. I feel like your person was kind of uptight. I feel like you never miss a chance to make money. You’re a “hustler”, just like your loved one. This person feels like an uncle, a cousin, maybe your father.

Cards Used: King of Discs, King of Wands, 2 of Swords, King of Swords, 7 of Swords, Queen of Discs.

Extras: “keep it in the family.” “no one knows.” pork rinds. round glasses. beeper. shady business. groupme. “out of line.” solo dolo. throwback. paying tribute.

[katebishopshands]

But I’m a Cheerleader ! ! Pt. 2

(Cheerleader!Kate Bishop/reader)

Pt. 1 here!!

»»-------------¤-------------««

Cheer camp continues, and the pursuit of the coveted Spirit Stick is on.

First impressions are everything, with it being the firsts official day of camp it is crucial that your team makes a good impression on the camp coaches and higher ups. And it appears that you’re not the only ones who want to make a good impression, the Archers are hot on your tail…

Maybe you’ll make some impressions you didn’t intend on when you came to camp this year?

(18+ CONTENT IN THIS PART)

»»-------------¤-------------««

“She HAS to sit her team right next to ours?” You growled into your oatmeal. It was a sad attempt at something nutritious. A brown banana covered in brown sugar and cinnamon frowned up at you.

You needed your strength today. First official day of camp meant back to basics. Perfecting benches, extensions, jumps and starting to learn the dance that you’d perform at the end of the week. The team needed to start out on a good foot so you could impress the camps coaches.

“ I mean it IS the dining hall..there’s not a ton of places to sit” Yelena looks up from her cereal to look at you and then in the direction where you were shooting lasers.

Kate Bishop sat her perfect self and her perfect team at the table across from your own. You could hear her loud mouth talking to America from where you sat.

Shoving a spoon of oatmeal in your mouth you muttered to yourself, “god does she ever shut up”

“Someone’s in a cranky mood…” Yelena sips on her coffee while side eyeing you.

You felt your eye twitch. Yes, you were in a cranky mood. Even after you had told Kate after your awkward confrontation yesterday to please be quiet at night, she hadn’t listened. Music was playing , loudly, in her room till at least two in the morning.

You couldn’t help but wonder last night in your sleep depraved state as you stared up at the dusty popcorn ceilings of your dorm, what Kate bishop wore to bed?

Was she a matching set girl? Or maybe a tank top and boxers type? Does she sleep with her hair up or maybe down?

You had never seen her with her hair down, maybe you’d get that chance this week. Static fuzz hit your stomach at the thought of taking Kate’s hair out of her tight ponytail.

“Yes, Yelena..I am cranky because my OTHER neighbor couldn’t shut the fu-“

“Ahem”, someone clears their throat above you. You both stop your conversation, looking up to see the last people you wanted to converse with at 7:45 in the morning. Kate Bishop and America Chavez.

Kate quirks a full eyebrow at you in your frazzled state. She looked utterly perfect to say the least. Full lips, dark brows and thick lashes. A spattering if beauty marks across her face Big blue eyes staring down at you. Part of you wanted to feel her gaze like this more often.

As quickly as the thought entered your head, you shoved it out. You had no time to be crushing on Kate Bishop.

Long black hair pulled into a ponytail, a matching purple and black workout set on. The sports bra exposing her muscular arms.

You salivated a little bit.

“We just wanted to say good luck this week!” America smiles at you. It’s honestly welcomed in comparison to the way Kate was eye fucking you.

You swallowed nervously and gave America a half pleasant smile.

“We don’t need your luck” Yelena spits at the other two captains. Kate looks unphased at the blonde, but America looks a bit shaken. She was a little younger than you guys, so it was obvious Yelenas little outburst had spooked her.

Kate puts her hand on Americas shoulder.

“Listen we just came here to wish you guys luck this week, we mean no hostility” Kate puts her hands up in a defensive manner,

“Just because we’re rivals doesn’t mean we can’t be friendly”.

She smiles at you, and America nods her head .

“Well…that’s very kind of you”, you say through grit teeth, your hand white knuckling the spoon you were holding.

You catch Coach Nat out of the corner of you eye. She’s watching the exchange unfold in front of her. First impressions start now, so if you want that spirit stick, it’s time to be the better captain. A team player if you will.

You smile at the two girls in front of you, your demeanor shifting from guarded to a sickly sweet confidence.

Sticking your hand out, and Kate meets you in the middle. You touch each other for the very first time, and you could’ve sworn you felt sparks between your hands.

“May the best team win this week”,

Kate shakes your hand, returning the smile. Once you let go, America turns to go back to her breakfast table,

“See you around..” Kate looks at you one last time, taking you in before she heads back to her table. Something mischievous glints in her eyes.

Goosebumps prick up on your arms.

Turning to Yelena, you look at her, bewildered at the exchange that had just occurred.

“God what the fuck “

»»-------------¤-------------««

“You look like shit” someone whispered behind you as you reached down towards your left leg while you stretched. Swiveling your head towards the voice and flipping your ponytail over your shoulder you were greeted to Kate Bishop standing to your right. Hands on her hips and head tilted. She smiled slightly at you.

“I don’t need you here right now, Bishop” you said standing up. You crossed your right arm across your chest, grabbing it with your left and stretching.

“I’m just pointing it out, looks like you could use some better sleep. Aren’t captains supposed to be the most prepared on the team?” She tilts her head to the opposite side, batting her dark lashes at you.

“I would’ve slept fine, but someone decided to have a party in their room” you deadpanned. Not believing she had the audacity to say shit to you, especially when she knew the reason you didn’t sleep well. If you didn’t know better, you’d say she did it on purpose.

“Damn, there was a party and I wasn’t invited? Lame” she laughs at herself before her eyes meet yours. You switch the arm you’re stretching. You’d hate to pull something during the first rotation of the day.

Kate had never paid this much attention to you before. A couple snotty words to each other, and dirty glances towards the other, sure. That was normal, but the level of taunting she was doing to you was unnatural for your usual dynamic.

You held her gaze, not wanting to back down.

“You look cold…I’d hate for you to pull something” you pout at her, crossing your arms in front of you. You wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine. She was the most insufferably cocky person you had met in your life. Girl thought she could talk your ear off for the entire warm up session before jumping into an hour and a half of choreography.

“Yknow..I am a little..”, she trails off, eyes locking on a stray piece of hair hanging in front of your face.

Kate goes to move the hair from your face, but you catch it before she can. Tucking the hair behind your ear, you glare at her. She leans into your ear,

“Maybe you can show me uh…some of your favorite ways to warm up?”

Kate backs up,searching your face. What she had said was, in theory, completely innocent. But it ignited something in your stomach. Your hands felt more clammy, your heartbeat raced. The heat in your face rose to your cheeks and ears. You KNEW Kate had a double meaning to her words.

Your fists clenched, suddenly you felt like you had a stick shoved up your ass with how upright and pissed off she made you feel.

You glanced around, checking to see if anyone had seen this whole interaction occur. Yelena, Coach Nat…hell even America or Clint Barton. You’d take anyone at this point.

No one seemed to pay attention to the rival captions standing at the front of the mat. Music played quietly, and teammates chattered as they stretched and warmed up. It was almost as if the two of you were in your own world. Where the only concerning thing was your bickering and how much you could piss each other off.

Kate smirks at you before she opens her mouth to speak again.

“I’m serious though, you’re good. I’d love to know how you got to be that good.”

Her shoulder brushes yours as she passes you, knocking you back a bit. She turns back towards your direction but continues walking.

“You know where to find me if you’re open to some private lessons..”

She turns. Black ponytail swinging behind her. Your eyes lingered in her figure. Purple leggings clinging to her fit frame. Back muscles exposed in her sports bra.

Your mouth felt dry. You needed water.

The rotation hadn’t even started and you felt like you had run a marathon.

Walking as quickly as possible, you made it to the bleachers where your water bottle sat. You sat down on one of the steps, raising the bottle to your lips. You started to chug almost as if you hadn’t had water in weeks.

What the fuck is Kate’s deal. Her confidence was intoxicating. Something about being around her made all will to be defensive die inside of you. She was able to run circles around you and you could do nothing about it.

“Whoa whoa, slow down. You’re gonna be sick!”

You look up, it’s Yelena. She’s taking a seat next to you, her brows furrowed in concern.

“ you look flushed? We haven’t even started??” She searches your face for an answer.

Her question makes you flush harder. She absolutely could not know Kate Bishop was the cause of this.

“Oh my god, are you sick? I can go get Natasha. She knows how the food here can just absolutely fu-“

“Lena I’m fine”

“Oh..”

She gives a skeptical look your way. Green eyes flashing with concern. You pull your water bottle away from your mouth, setting it back on the bench.

“I’m just hot, it’s really hot in here”

You stand, wiping your sweaty hands on your own leggings.

“It’s not that bad..

“Yelena.”

You cut her off, not sure if you’d be able to handle any more questioning from her. The blonde stands with you.

You adjust the bow sat in your hair, attempting to wipe Kate bishop from your head for the next hour and a half. You could analyze your interactions during passing time, but you needed to be focused.

“Now, let’s dance”

You started down the bleachers, Yelena in tow.

If you wanted to get that spirit stick, Kate Bishop couldn’t be distracting you. She never has distracted you, and she wasn’t going to start now, no matter how sweaty she made your palms.

»»-------------¤-------------««

The rest of the day was brutal. Existing on a college campus, with minimal AC in the middle of summer was quite honestly the worst thing ever. Well, next to seeing your team crumble under the pressure right in front of you.

Every you could’ve sworn you got worse. Dance was fine, and the tumbling portion was alright. But stunting was the worst you’ve ever seen it.

The amount of times you had to catch your flyer from falling just during the hour and a half rotation was insane.

You could’ve sworn coach Nat had never been so mad in her life.

Of course this was all under the every watchful eyes of The Archers and captain Kate Bishop herself.

You could feel her eyes on you all day, burning into the back of your skull.

“I think tomorrow will be our day, I have a good feeling.”

Yelena converses with you outside of your dorms. She’s trying to lift your spirits like the good friend that she is, but it’s not working.

“I’m just really worried…today was the worst I’ve seen us perform”

You bite your lip, anxiously playing with the hangnails that were around your nail beds.

“It’s only the first day, and the pressure is on this year, we’ll come back”. Yelena puts a hand on your shoulder, her green nail polish glinting in the dull lights of the hallway. She squeezes a little, smiling reassuringly at you.

Yelena was a little intense at times but she always knew how to make you feel better. After debriefing with Yelena, a shower was well needed.

You looked at your sad dorm room, your tie blanket on the flimsy mattress. Box fan tucked into the window, blowing a warm breeze into the room. Setting down your backpack, you begin to take your shoes off, socks leaving a sweat print on the linoleum flooring.

“Gross” you grimace looking down at it. Through the silence in your room, the sound of a bass filled beat caught your ear. You groaned, beginning to take your hair out of your ponytail.

You knew exactly where it was coming from. Kate Bishops stupid room. You gave a couple hard bangs on the wall, signaling to Kate that you wanted her to keep it down.

The music didn’t turn down. Taking a deep breath you continued to get ready for your shower, giving her another hour of music time before you went over there and bitched her out.

Truthfully, you didn’t want to see her again tonight. You had dealt with enough of her for the day and another ounce of Kate Bishop for the day might actually kill you.

Getting out of the shower you did your usual bedtime junk, brushing your hair, motioning your body up. The whole 9 yards. You needed it so bad after the day you had.

Kates music still blared as you got dressed, putting on a ratty competition T-shirt and some boxer shorts with little hearts on them.

You were too tired to bitch her out, deciding to get in bed instead of going next door to tell her to shut up.

Turning the lights off, you padded your way over to your bed, ready to let sleep overcome you.

You waited. And waited. Turning to your left. Turning to your right. Rinse and repeat. You even tried flipping the end of the bed your head was. Nothing.

The bass continued to shake the wall the bed was up against. You tried banging on the wall again. Nothing. Again, another bang to the wall and you were greeted to nothing in response.

You shoved your blankets down, sitting upright in bed and angrily standing up. Kate bishop was not ruining another night of sleep because she wanted to play her music. Hadn’t she ever heard of headphones??

You crossed the room, opening up your door and slamming it behind you. It was a quick turn over to Kate’s room, and before you knew it you were banging on her door.

The hall was quiet, as it should be. It was well past lights out. Most of the girls would probably be asleep by now. Except for Kate Bishop.

Your fist continued to meet Kates metal door. The beat of your pounds echoing in the otherwise silent hall. You were getting annoyed now, she had ignored your pounds on the wall and now she was ignoring your knocks on her door. All you wanted to do was go to sleep.

“Nice jammies” you hadn’t even noticed that the door had opened, you had been too caught up in your train of thought.

Kate stood infront of you. She was leaning against the door frame. Her hair was still up, but gone was her workout set.

A pair of loose black shorts hung low on her hips. The shorts were topped off with a matching tight black tank.

You scolded yourself for looking, Kate wasn’t wearing a bra. Pervert

You swallowed, hard.

“Shut up”

“Woah what did I do?”

Kate looked at you. She was annoyed, and you were too.

“You know exactly what you’re doing”

You took a step towards her, crossing your arms over your chest. It was cold in the hallway surprisingly. Your bare legs covering themselves in goosebumps.

“Listen, if you’re going to show up to my room at this hour of the night, I at least deserve some sort of explanation “ Kate tilted her head to the side, lightly poking her cheek with her tongue. You said nothing.

She had to know what she was doing. Her music didn’t pause when she opened the door. You could still hear the beat from where you stood.

“Turn your music off” you said flatly.

“I’m tired and I want to go to bed, turn it off” you were beyond pissed right now.

“Okay then go to bed” Kate snaps back at you. Her voice raised ever so slightly.

“I can’t with your fucking music this loud”. You jabbed your finger into her chest.

She stumbles backwards a little. “Oh my god will you calm down? It’s just music, it’s not that big of a deal” Kate looked just as pissed as you now. Her blue eyes staring daggers into you, her breathing a little elevated .

“Just some music? I couldn’t sleep last night because of you. “ you’re nearly yelling now

“My team, fell apart today because I felt like shit, and you kept fucking staring at me”

Fists balled into your sides, You began to blow up on the dark haired girl opposite of you.

Kate shakes her head a little, popping her jaw in annoyance.

“So I need you to shut the fuck up and just-“

“Jesus fucking Christ”

Kate rolls her eyes and grabs your wrist forcefully. You fight her a bit, trying to pull free of her grip. She quickly pulls you into her room, letting you stumble forward once she releases you. She slams the door behind her and then turns to face you.

“Could you be any louder? Both of our teams are trying to sleep and you’re out there yelling about some stupid music”

Once again, the audacity of this girl.

“Y’know, I was actually starting to like you today, but you’re nothing but a dick”

“The same goes for you” Kate crossed her arms, malice laced in her tone.

You’re standing chest to chest with her now. You’re able to smell her lavender chai perfume. Her chest rises and falls with the heavy breaths she’s taking.

“I actually think you’re a really good captain. You care about your team, and you and Yelena make a great duo.” Kate starts out. She’s got a different energy about her that you can’t put your finger on. That same static fuzz feeling you had from the first moment you saw each other yesterday invaded your stomach. She made you shiver.

“But dear god do you need to get the stick out of your ass. Maybe then your team would be halfway decent”

You saw red. You came over here to be civil, ask her to turn down her music. But now you’re stood in Kates room and she’s insulting your team.

You could’ve sworn your brain was short circuiting .So you did what was logical.

You kissed her.

You kissed Kate Bishop hard as fuck.

Your lips collided with hers, grabbing at the front of her tank top and pushing her back against the door. As soon as Kate’s back hit the door it was like something clicked in you.

You pulled away panting.

And Kate chased you. Kate Bishop chased your mouth to continue kissing you.

You pushed that thought away from your mind.

“I’m sorry I just..i don’t know what happened” your fists were still clutching the front of Kate’s shirt. She looks at you. Pupils blown, lips parted.

“Shut up” Kate gushes before diving back into you.

Her hands envelop your face. Callouses from stunting brushing your cheeks.

Kate kisses you like she needs you to breathe. Holding you impossibly close.

“I-“ you gasp in between kisses. You’re fighting for dominance in the kiss. Slowly but surely traveling down the small hallway that lead to the main room.

“Fucking hate you” you bite at Kate’s lip. Pulling her bottom lip a little you grin at her. She snorts, pushing you up against the nearest wall.

“You sure about that?” Kate leans into your ear. Her hands find your breasts. She squeezes them.

It feels so good. It feels so good and relieves a bit of the ache that had started growing in your shorts. You couldn’t take the cocky grin Kate had plastered on her pretty face.

You bit your lip, fighting the moans that are attempting to escape your throat.

“Such a tough team captain” Kate laughs as she continues to feel up your tits.

“Shut it” you grab her hands in an attempt to stop her movements.

“So tough all the time, don’t you want to let go?”

You do. You do want to let go. Especially when Kates fingers are reaching towards the bottom of your shirt.

“I can’t “ you shake your head as you feel her fingers lightly brush against your stomach.

“I think you can, pretty girl”

Kate thrusts her knee up into you. It meets your drenched core and you break. You break so easily under her influence.

“There we go” she pulls your shirt over your head, tossing it behind her shoulder.

“Fucking hell Kate”

“Tell me about it” she ogles you. Staring at your tits. She can help it, a finger goes in to tweak one of your nipples. Another moan from you.

Kate removes her knee from your cunt and urges you towards her bed. You move your mouth to her neck, latching on and plastering kisses down it. She reaches for her phone on the bed, and turns her music up.

“Can’t have anyone knowing we’re doing this, can we?” You moan at her words. Thinking about Yelena knowing Kate was groping at your tits right now was a little too arousing.

In a Kate drunk haze, you eagerly shove your hands down her shorts. Your fingers being met by a lack of underwear and her warmth.

“Holy shit” you whisper to yourself. She was soaked. Bickering with you had turned her on beyond belief.

Kate gives a whine and leans forward as your fingers meet her cunt. She rests her head on your shoulder.

“God don’t stop” she meets your eyes. Big blue eyes pleading for something, anything.

“Oh Katie …” you pout at her. A guttural moan comes from Kate as the nickname slips off your tongue. You’re able to manhandle Kate up against the creaky dorm bed.

Eagerly, you tear her shorts down, letting them pool around her ankles. And she lets you. She submits so easily to you.

“Where’s your ego now,huh?”

You kiss her cheek as your fingers find her clit. She has no words, the only noise leaving her mouth being a few airy moans. Rubbing circles on her clit, you return to her mouth.

She’s licking into your mouth, craving any attention she can get from you. Kates hips begin to buck into your hand as you begin to tease her hole with your fingers.

Kates hips begin to buck into your hand as you begin to tease her hole with your fingers.

“I’ve wanted this-“ she pants out

“Since our first cheer camp together” she locks eyes with you. Her knees are shaking as you’re able to put two fingers inside of her, thumb still lazily playing with her clit.

“When I..I.. accidentally did my full into you”

She smiles a little bit before she goes back in for a kiss. You kiss her back for a bit before pulling away again.

“You left me with a black eye for a week” you laugh at her as you increase the speed of your fingers. Kates eyebrows kit together.

She’s close. You can tell by the way she squeezes you and the sweat that forms around her hairline.

“What a bad girl” you whisper in her ear. And that’s what it takes. Kates knees give out a little as she finishes. A string of curses and your name leaving her lips. You continue to finger her throughout her aftershocks.

Once your fingers are pulled out, you put them into your mouth, sucking her release off of them. Kate catches her breath as she watches you.

“Fuck” she pants, sitting down on her bed. You bat your lashes at her a little, crawling towards her.

Kate kicks off her shorts and pulls her tank top off of her sweaty body. You were right for being such a pervert earlier. She’s gorgeous.

Abs on full display, perky tits right there for you to grab.

“I need you to ride me..like right now”

You’re pulling your own boxers off before she can finish her sentence. Once you’re hovering above her thigh, Kate’s strong hands grip your hips, forcefully shoving you down onto it.

She rocks with you, helping you set a brutal pace.

With all the teasing of the night, it’s going to be sooner or later before you bust.

Kate sits up as you grind your sticky cunt against her toned thigh. Her lips attaching themselves to one of your nipples.

You moan, throwing your head back in pleasure. Your hands planting themselves in her hair, yanking on the black locks.

You’re tired of the ponytail. You need to see her hair down. With a final pull to the actual hair tie, her hair is freed.

Her dark hair falls to her mid back in loose curls. She’s so gorgeous it’s annoying.

Kate delivers a bite to your nipple, pulling your attention from her hair.

“Doesn’t it feel nice?” She smirks up at you, aggressively guiding your hips against her. The friction is delicious. Her thigh rubs perfectly against your swollen clit.

“Hm?” You respond. Too horny and caught up in the hopes of your release to register what she’s saying to you.

Kates sucks a hickey on the side of your tit.

“Fucking the rival captan? Getting the stick out of your ass?”

The dorm bed is hitting the wall, you can hear it and see it. The shaky wooden frame making a rhythmic beat out of your fucking. You pray to whatever god is listening that Kate’s music is loud enough to cover up the noise.

Before you know it that static fuzz feeling is taking over your whole body. Like you’re a child standing too close to an old TV.

“Kate shit..I’m close” you frantically rock your hips into her. You want your release so bad.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you” she punctuates her words with a squeeze to your hips.

“Jesus Christ.. “ you’re gushing all over her. You can feel your cum dripping down her thigh and your own .

Kate falls backwards, letting her head hit her pillow.

You’re sweaty and tired, and you smell like sex. You think about how you regret showering before you came over. But then again…you didn’t come over thinking you were going to fuck your rival in the first place.

Kate looks up at you, gently helping you remove yourselves from her thigh before she gently pats the limited space next to her. You unsurely lay down next to her, not sure if you should walk of shame your way back next door or stay.

You get your answer when Kate pulls her naked body flush against yours,arm wrapped around your waist.

Neither of you say anything, just listening to the other breathe.

You should be worried about your alarm set for 7 am in the room next door, or how you’re going to get out of the room in the morning without being caught, but you’re not.

The only thing in your head in the moment being “I just fucked Kate Bishop”.

»»-------------¤-------------««

Check out the playlist!! And stay tuned for more!!

-ET🏹

[preciadosbass]

31/7/24

woke up at 10 and had my breakfast [blehh] while looking at r/scene. also, heard about and saw the GERARD WAY SIGHTING??? RAA I LITERALLY WENT FERAL. HES SO COOL — my dad immediately started talking about my ARFID appointment today and i said that i didn’t know whether i was going yet. [which is what i’ve been saying for weeks.] but he said that id said yes to going. i love my parents, but they [mostly always my mum] do/does switch my words a lot and tend to think things happened/didn’t happen when they did/didnt.

i ended up going to my room after saying good morning to boris because he [my dad] started raising his voice and getting defensive even though i’d already explained that i’m scared to go and that i wont know how to tell the truth. my mum recommended me going and just listening to what the dietitian has to say but i didn’t see the point in listening to my parents talk about my ARFID and get everything wrong. [which isn’t entirely their fault, because i don’t talk about it — it’d just be triggering. especially because i cant speak for myself to a total adult stranger and if i did i’d expose my restrictive eating.]

he followed me into my room and started shouting so we got into an argument and when i verified i wasn’t going because everyone was being pushy he caved in and told me that i’m not allowed any of my safe foods and walked off. which i genuinely don’t understand as the whole appointment is about trying to get me to eat and he’s ultimately banning that for when i am willing to eat. i know my parents try their best but they don’t always have the best ways of putting it across. i get it, though. i know going to meetings is annoying for them but they’re always talking about how useless it is and how they can’t be bothered etc but if i confront them they say that they’ve never said such things.

after all that they’d already left and i obviously felt unmotivated to do anything for the rest of the day. my parents also told me that i’m not allowed to go on a walk today because i wasn’t deciding if i was going to go [even though they know i do terribly making decisions under pressure and they were rushing me and shouting] so that sucks. a lot. i cant eat now incase i go over my cals because i wont be able to burn it off. i feel so guilty about getting upset at my parents because it must be so hard to have a kid like me, genuinely.

i went back off to my room after checking boris is okay and started reading heartstopper again. i haven’t read the books since i was in school and i much prefer them to the series. i listening to my sad-ish playlist while reading because it’s more calming and easier to concentrate with. i finished the first book within around 13 minutes and then went on my phone for a bit. i was just scrolling aimlessly so i had a nap for 2/3 hours.

after waking up a had a bit of food and sat outside on the driveway with boris while playing ‘better music?’ on roblox because i had nothing better to do on my phone. then i did literally nothing up until 10:50 when i got boris inside and started listening to blur [cuz i’m bri’sh innit]. i started playing roblox again at around 11 and was on it for a short while until my mum came into my room and said that her and my dad are ready for me to ask my questions about boris.

i did it decently quickly although my dad did talk about me going through it quite fast today because he has the hospital tomorrow and i immediately felt even worse about putting them through this every night and the altercation we had earlier today. i know he’s going through so much and i wish i could be a better kid so badly. i wish i was better at expressing how i feel so they don’t mistaken me for being frustrated at them all the time. i love them so much. i know he was probably just pushy this morning because he’s stressed and he’s trying to show me he cares.

i then came down to say goodnight to boris first thing because ive once again had a headache all day supposedly cuz of my eating and i was falling asleep. its a little awkward to cuddle him when his new favourite spot is on the windowsill as there’s tons of stuff in the way, but i still managed to do what i needed to do. i went to sleep early at 1:40 after boris came into my room and i listened to some of slipknots’ the gray chapter. im going to embarrass myself and say i technically went over my cals today because i didn’t go on a walk.

have a good day/night -_<

[naturesapphic]

“I need love”

Hanna marin x fem!reader

Warnings: reader is on her period, fluff

“Im dying!” You groan into Hanna’s pillow as she watches you from across the room reading one of her many magazines. “Baby hush, you aren’t dying”. She says as she rolls her eyes. You pout “I am too! It feels like someone is doing arts and crafts in my uterus. Cutting up all of my insides and twisting them.” You say dramatically.

Hanna made a disgusted face “okay I did NOT need that visual in my head.” She said and shook her head to not think about it. You rolled around in her bed, trying to get comfortable but you couldn’t. Your body was kicking your ass and your cramps too. No matter how much you turned or turned over, you just couldn’t get comfortable and all you wanted was your girlfriend to give you snuggles and attention.

“Hanna bananaaaaaaaaa��� you dragged out on purpose to get her attention. She looked up from her magazine and looked at you with an eyebrow raised. “I need love” you simply stated at her. She smiled at you and got off her ass and headed towards you. You made grabby hands towards her and she instantly pulled you into her arms.

You smiled and immediately snuggled into her, almost purring to which Hanna giggled at. She ran her fingers through your hair and leaned down every now and then to give you kisses. A few moments later and you were starting to get bored. “Hannnnnnnnn…I’m bored” you complained to her and she rolled her eyes jokingly and gently thumped you on your forehead. “Why are you complaining so much today?” She said as she looked down at you with her piercing blue eyes.

“Because I’m bleeding and in severe pain! I have the right to complain! And at least I don’t complain everyday like you do….” You mumbled at the end but Hanna heard you and gasped in defense. “Do not!” She defended herself. “Do to!” You stated back at her which was a mistake because she started tickling you.

“Ahhh hanna! S-stop!” You giggled out and she kept tickling you until she saw tears in your eyes and then she stopped and you caught your breath. “Rude…” you pouted up at her and she smiled as she leans down to give you a slow and long kiss. You kiss back and run your fingers through her blond hair and gently push her head down to deepen the kiss.

A few moments later Hanna pulled away causing you to pout. “Nuuuu come backkkk. I want your lipsssss.” You whined out again. “Babe if I kept kissing you I would have passed out from lack of oxygen.” She stated. “And?” You said dramatically with a serious face. “Babe what the fuck! Do you want me to die?!” She yelled. “Nope. But I wanna keep kissing youuuu.” You simply said to which Hanna rolled her eyes at you yet again.

“Hannaaaaaaa. Im boreddddd.” You said while throwing your hands up in the air. Hanna huffed “go read some of my magazines then.” She suggested. “That will not help me feel better and be less bored.”you grumpily said. “It helps me!” She gasped. “Im happy for you.” You commented and she gently punched you in your shoulder. “ABUSE! Im telling mrs. Hastings!” You snarled and she started laughing.

“You wouldn’t do that baby. You love me too much. Plus I’ll kill you.” She said seriously at the end and you giggled. “Thats true. I would turn you in for abuse.” You smiled and she rolled her eyes as she smiled at you lovingly. “Thank you for being here with me Han. I love you. You always make me feel better.” You said while looking at her with so much adoration and love. She returned the look “of course y/n/n, I’ll always be here for you and I love you so much more.” Hanna said with a big smile plastered on her face and you smiled back. Hanna will always be there for you, especially when you are on your period and need constant attention 24/7.

A/n: I randomly came up with this since I’m on my period and I would definitely need attention 24/7 like @tvgirllloverz cmon I need you 🙄

But thank you for reading! And if you have any Hanna requests just let me know and of course any other requests you have for the other characters I write for :) remember to stay hydrated and to rest. I love y’all. Have a good day!

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

I came across this poem somewhat recently, and I can't stop thinking about it:

Running Orders By Lena Khalaf Tuffaha

They call us now, before they drop the bombs. The phone rings and someone who knows my first name calls and says in perfect Arabic “This is David.” And in my stupor of sonic booms and glass-shattering symphonies still smashing around in my head I think, Do I know any Davids in Gaza? They call us now to say Run. You have 58 seconds from the end of this message. Your house is next. They think of it as some kind of war-time courtesy. It doesn’t matter that there is nowhere to run to. It means nothing that the borders are closed and your papers are worthless and mark you only for a life sentence in this prison by the sea and the alleyways are narrow and there are more human lives packed one against the other more than any other place on earth Just run. We aren’t trying to kill you. It doesn’t matter that you can’t call us back to tell us the people we claim to want aren’t in your house that there’s no one here except you and your children who were cheering for Argentina sharing the last loaf of bread for this week counting candles left in case the power goes out. It doesn’t matter that you have children. You live in the wrong place and now is your chance to run to nowhere. It doesn’t matter that 58 seconds isn’t long enough to find your wedding album or your son’s favorite blanket or your daughter’s almost completed college application or your shoes or to gather everyone in the house. It doesn’t matter what you had planned. It doesn’t matter who you are. Prove you’re human. Prove you stand on two legs. Run.

[Source]

I think it's really critical to note that this was published in 2017.

I have other thoughts, but I'm putting them under the cut because I am processing emotions that are real and things I am wrestling with. At the same time, I fully recognize that I am not personally living this reality on the ground, so anyone who is should seriously consider whether this is something you want to engage with.

I keep thinking about how like, yes, giving people notice is better than killing more people, but that doesn't make it any less devastating to lose your whole life you've built. Yes, a polite personalized call is better than the alternatives, I guess? (But also if they have enough info to know that, how is it that they don't know who else is or is not there?) But it definitely has the same sick, surreal energy as calling up and saying, "Hi I'm so-and-so, I'll be your executioner today. What can I get you for your last meal?"

And to be quite honest, my heart breaks for the people on both sides of that call. I can't imagine being tasked with that duty. I can't imagine being nineteen and tasked with that duty. And yet the alternative is what, exactly? Not fight back? How does one ethically fight a defensive war? Especially one where the real enemy hides behind civilians and hostages like cowards? How is pacifism ethical when it leads to more butchery like we saw on 10/7? How can you fight when you know you will inevitably kill innocent people, and how can you not fight when you know that if you don't it will inevitably lead to more of your own people being killed in terrible ways?

I just don't even know anymore and am praying for divine intervention at this point.

[bunnyseahorse-blog]

I don’t feel like my therapist is listening, so I fired him, and I don't even feel bad.

I have half a dozen serious mental illness diagnosis and medical issues. When I applied for disability I was approved in three months (usually takes longer from what I'm told) and almost immediately moved from their metaphorical “she might get better” to “she’s going to be receiving benefits for life” pile.

The doctor I saw from age 7 to 30 advised me not to drive because of my condition that causes me frequent fainting.

She suggested I not live alone because I have delusions, mood swings and sometimes need to be hospitalized. I saw this doctor for 23 years, and also went to other specialists that agreed with her. I saw her until she was retired.

My general doctor says that even though I am overweight she is pleased with my glucose and cholesterol levels. My old, and also my new psychiatrists agreed with her.

My parents say I can live with them and have support. They are actually creating an expansion on the house so I can live on my own sort of and still have them nearby. My eldest sibling is inheriting the house when my parents die and they will rent to me until I die. We don't always get along, but I am trying, and we are navigating our unique dynamic so we can make it work.

This new therapist I’ve been seeing keeps insisting I go off disability, get a job, move out of my family’s house, live alone, and lose weight. Because I’m too old to “mooch off my parents.” He made comments from the get go about my weight. I am overweight yes, but he's not a doctor or nurtritionist. I am not experiencing any health issues because of my weight, which is partly due to my medical conditions and my meds. He made a comment once that i should show some pride in myself and not wear a beanie to sessions "do something nice with my hair." He told me once my shoulders looked smaller and I must be doing better. I was thinking.... do I have fat shoulders too??

I am going to a session today to explain to him nicely that he needs to let me set my own goals, and also educate him on how my life really is. I don’t think therapists should require educating. If he doesn’t get it, I’m leaving the session but I’m giving it a shot anyways.

I’m scared and I’m angry. Wish me luck? I don't want to be a project for him. I want to talk about things in sessions that i need to, not what he considers on his own agenda.

EDIT: I went to the session and voiced my concerns about he got a little defensive, but eventually seemed to see what i was saying and switched his focus to what I told him my goals were. However... I wanted a therapist to help me work through my abandonment issues and trauma, not a life coach to push me. I think i might find someone with a different focus is good. (plus him getting defensive isn't a great sign to me) he also insinuated that my little sister, who he has heard off, never met and never examined, is mentally handicapped because of one of her birth parents. We've had her tested, and everyone seems to be saying she's very sharp and doesn't have what her birth mom has. He also asked what my doctor of 23 years even did for me. I was like... diagnosed me with everything I have? Oh but according to him, diagnoses aren't relevant. I have a condition similar to schizophrenia, and yes you should know if you have that....

Also... I signed something saying he could have access to the last notes of my previous therapist, since I have extensive history but he apparently never got it, never told me he didn't get it, and wants me to go through the process again. I feel like the office dropped the ball, because I signed it already.

I think it might be time to move on... I canceled my next appointment. I feel like I should be able to find someone who listens better, and is there to help me, not fix me into things I am not capable of. Having him insist I am wrong and lazy for excepting my limitations, after the long grieving process that came with becoming permanently disabled at 26, has been upsetting, because I keep doubting myself, even though I know I have done the right things.

[fermentingheart]

Ace Attorney 4 Ramble

I just finished AA4 today (like 2 hours ago as I am writing this) and I have a whole world of complex feelings on it that I desperately need to get out.

Spoilers Ahead for all of Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney.

ALSO this ramble is like. Super long. (sorry....................). ALSO ALSO. I def have grammar and spelling errors in here.. forgive and forget </3

I've been a fan of Ace Attorney since my 9th grade year of high school, when I first started the Phoenix Wright trilogy. I completed it over my entire school-career there, so I have a soft spot for the games. When I beat AA3 I was super emotional, but excited (and worried) to know there were 3 more mainline games waiting for me.

My initial anxieties came from the way the fandom talks about the Apollo Justice trilogy. To my understanding, the same writer that made the first 3 games is not responsible for these one, and it has kinda led itself to be a bit of a stepdown from its predecessors. That was disappointing to hear, but I don't try to let others opinions influence me too deeply without experiencing something myself.

Overall, I though AA4 was good! It didn't wow me, not left me with deep sentiments like AA1 or AA3, but it is definitely better than my least favorite game so far, AA2. It does have its faults, which, as far as I can see, are mirrored by most AA fans.

My biggest complaints is that the game feels like it bit off more than it can chew, and that it is sometimes pretty tedious to play.

The writers had to juggle a big task of explaining the backstories of Phoenix, Apollo, Trucy, and Klavier. Unfortunately, I do think Apollo and Klavier get the short-end of the stick, and I largely sum that up to that being the fault of the hook of the game.

Our former player character, my most beloved guy, Phoenix Wright, lost his attorney badge due to forged evidence, and hasn't been a lawyer for 7 years !? I'll admit, I was sucked in at this premise. I knew it wasn't as it seemed. It would be widely out of character for Wright to ever do such a thing, but, the Phoenix we meet seems so foreign and distant to who we once knew. I wanted to know answers, and luckily or unluckily, the game explains everything.

It spends so much of its time talking about Phoenix, and later down the line, Trucy, that I do agree with the common sentiment that Apollo feels a bit shelved in his own game. Phoenix is enveloped in the mystery of the whole game, that I never really bothered to question what Apollo's deal was. He is great character, but not distinctive enough from Phoenix that it made question his motives as a defense attorney, or how he even grew up (I mean, we don't know much about Phoenix's prior life besides tidbits from his time in primary school). It wasn't until the twist with Apollo, that he is Trucy's older, half-brother, who inherited the Gramayare special ability, did I stop to think about how this game could have benefitted from shifting its focus onto Apollo.

I don't think that it would have been impossible for the game to balance Phoenix and Apollo's backstories, seeing as they both connect to Zak Gramayare's trial. If the reversed the chronology of how they presented their information even a little bit, I think they could have gotten away with this balancing act they were going for.

Ultimately, I do believe the game would have done best with another case that could help set the story up (or like. Change Turnabout Corner to something else. I thought that case was fun but if you think about it, it is painfully out of place with the other three...), because I still think that in a magical world where my suggestions were implemented, Klavier Gavin still would have been sidelined.

I really wanted to love Klavier Gavin. He was like a hair away of itching my brain just right that he would become all I talk about for the next 6 months. Unfortunately, he was given to little to late. I think the game believes it gave Klavier a bigger character arc than he actually had. His confrontation with Kristoph, is good, but no where near as satisfying as it could have been if anything about his relationship with his brother was established before. In a series that rides on sibling relationships, I was looking forward to potential Dahlia and Iris, or even Edgeworth and Franziska. We can piece together what their relationship must have been like by their few interactions and how Kristoph was 100% fine with screwing Klavier over to win a case, but ughhh. I wanted more, and I feel so sorely disappointed with what I got.

AA4 is also tedious to an extent. Although I don't hate Turnabout Serenade as much as everyone else seems to, it does amplify some of the issues the game has. I think the logic of this game in particular was pushing it, even for Ace Attorney standards (how could Tobey of ever been the killer...) and some of the things we have to prove to pull different cases back on our side was. Absurd. Ace Attorney rides on the fact that its legal system is only vaguely defined so we can't really complain too much about it (and the story's constant theme of corruption also absolves it from too much criticism about how nonsensical the court in sometimes). I love this as much as I hate this. I might have not cared as much if they weren't setting up this "big change" in the legal system that would seemingly improve upon these court issues. I'll keep it simple. I think the jury system in application to the game was underwhelming, and shouldn't of just been a plot beat.

I know this long rant may make it seem like I don't like the game, but that's not true at all! I think I'm critical on AA4 because I know how good the series can be. Still, there is so much I loved about the game.

The art and animation is the first thing I noticed as a huge improvement from the prior games, which is already incredible since I think the Ace Attorney series is one of them best when it comes to its visuals. All the sprites are more vibrant than before, but the character seem all the more harmonious with their setting. The court especially looks gorgeous. I love the beautiful browns they use. Also? All the character designs are bangers. So are their reactions. Ace Attorney is known for their character "breakdowns" and AA4 did no disappoint (my favorites are Ogla when she is still pretending to be a random Russian woman, Alita, and Kristoph).

The new mechanics brought into the game have got to be my favorite aspects of it. The "perceive" ability has to be my favorite. I think its very concept is such a good progression from the prior games, I was disappointed it was implemented more. Speaking of, Ema's forensic sciences! I always felt that not bringing back her mechanics after AA1 was such a shame, so I was thrilled that not only were most of the evidence we got observable in 3D, but also that she had little mini-games to make the investigations that more engaging.

Another place where AA4 succeeds for me is its character directions. I think I could go on about all the characters besides a handful of them, truly, but as to not make my ramble any longer, I'll focus on a select few!

Apollo is a fun protagonist. I do think he stands in Phoenix's shoes for a little too long, but the more I played as him, the better I was at finding where he diverges from our previous protagonist. I think he is so silly, and I hope we get to spend more time in his head.

I hold similarly sentiments about Trucy. I'll be honest, I was getting tired of the quirky side-character/assistant trope, and was hoping for someone different when I got into the game. Even though Trucy still fits the outline, she is adorable in her own ways. Her magician bit surprisingly didn't get old to me. She's super loveable and stands out from Maya in her own way.

I adored Ema! Her backstory is honestly so realistic (and depressing??). Seeing her loose some of her spark after life didn't go out as planned for her is devastating, but it makes her all the more relatable, honestly. It was satisfying to see her progressively become more amicable throughout the game, however subtle that was, and even experience her warming up Apollo and Trucy. By Case 4, I really feel that some of "old Ema" has finally returned to her, and I couldn't be more happy.

Oh and finally... my evilest of guys.... the worst ever... my most beloved loathed....

Kristoph..... Gavin.................

I don't think Kristoph is an extremely complex character. He is petty, pompous, and vindicative, but I think his simplicity allows him to shine in that manner. He makes such an impression in the few moments we see him. He's genuinely menacing and pretty intelligent to boot? I think his plan was a bit contrived, but it was so fun and again, extremely petty that I can forgive him of all he has ever done wrong. He said it himself, he is an evil, horrible man, and I love that it is as simple as that. He felt wronged because he couldn't get notoriety off of a sure to be famous case, and so he killed 2 people, attempted to kill 1 other person, and committed like several other crimes on top of that. He sucks and I think that's beautiful.

AA4 doesn't live up to the hype that AA3 left me with, but I am satisfied with the game overall! Despite my complaints, it was such a fun time, and I am thrilled to get to the next games and see how they build upon it. Now if you excuse me I'm going to look at Kristoph for a prolonged period of time.

[emma-cantmakeuphermind]

Just A Project | IV

Nathan Prescott x Reader

Masterlist

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Warnings: none really, this is basically jus filler

Words: 644

I’m finally in my dorm hall, completely exhausted, I miss my bed. As I’m walking down the hall I pass Dana’s room, and hear her usual music playing. “Hey, Y/N!” I hear Dana call, and I turn around, walking to stand in her doorway. “What’s up Dana?” She's sitting on her bed, legs criss crossed, in one of her cute pj sets. She always looks effortlessly pretty. “Come in, sit!” She invites me into patting the space in front of her on the bed. I accept the invitation, I always enjoy our chats.

As I sit down in front of her she speaks, “How have you been girl? We haven’t spoken in a while.” She isn’t wrong, recently she's been kind of distracted with her new guy friend, Trevor. “I’ve been pretty good, Dana. How about you? You know, with Trevor and everything.” She smiles. “Oh, Y/N, Trevor is great. He’s different from everyone else. And I enjoy hanging with him and his skater friends. No drama.” I smile, I’m glad that she's happy. Dana’s had it rough, freshman and sophomore year, everyone was convinced she was a whore just because some stupid jock made a comment about how she dressed. She only managed to get past it around a year ago. I was there for her through it all, because I know Dana. She’s been one of my best friends over the past few years, I have her back and she has mine.

“I’m so glad you’re happy, Dana. Trevor seems like he's really good for you.” I tell her honestly. Her smiles widen, “Thanks, Y/N. That's sweet.” She reaches out grabbing my hand and holds it between hers. “Oh, I heard from Kate that you got paired with Nathan for that project thing.” I sigh still with a small smile on my face. “Yeah, uhm, you know I’ve never really talked to him before today and to be honest, he’s not that bad.” I look down feeling a bit naive about my quick judgment about Nathan. I raise my eyes to try and see her reaction and she’s smiling.

“Oh my god!” I look up fully at her outburst. “You’re totally blushing, Y/N!” My eyes widen and I go defensive. “What? Am not!” I am… I wouldn’t go as far to say I have a crush on him but after today I think I definitely feel something for him. “Liar, you so are!” She laughs and rubs my hand that she’s still holding. “Don’t worry Y/N/N, I won’t tell anyone.” I smile at her, “Thanks.” We’re silent for a moment before Dana speaks up. “But for real, I get it, Nathan isn’t a bad guy. Not that I’ve seen at least. His dad is the fucked up one. And Nathan only gets seriously angry when someone genuinely deserves it. Even if sometimes he goes too far.” She speaks kindly.

I think over her words, they make sense. I mean yes I’ve seen Nathan get a little intense, but at the same time, Nathan does have genuine friends. Including Dana, which can only be a green flag. I let out a sigh. “I guess I should give him a genuine chance. He seems nice enough.” I say, making eye contact with Dana. “You should, I mean, you never know what could come out of it.” She smirks and gives me a wink. I let out a groan as blush came across my face once again, and pulled my hand away from her dramatically. She laughs wholeheartedly and I stand up from my place on her bed.

“Well, I am in dire need of a nap.” I start to back up and Dana stands up and attacks me with a hug. We giggle together and she lets go. “Bye, Y/N.” I walk out with a, “Bye, Dana!”

[angelasscribbles]

Dark Elf Chapter 7: Spirit Bound

Series: Dark Elf

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings: Riley x Drake (this chapter)

Word Count: 2,424

Rating: NSFW 🍋🍋🍋

Warnings for this series: Dubcon (but not really because she's a demon)

A/N: Submission for @choicesprompts Smutember prompt event. Prompt: Hard and Fast.

A/N2: I hope no one gets confused between this one and the other dark AU I have going right now, The Dark Kingdom. This one, Dark Elf is the one where Riley is a demon here to sacrifice Hana so Liam can achieve immortality. Liam is half elf, half human. Drake shifts into a tiger. Max is the human sorcerer that summoned her.

Thanks @aussiegurl1234 for prereading and drooling over this chapter. 😆

My other stuff: Master List.

Riley woke and stretched her body as memories of the night before fell through her head. The halfling prince had been even more delicious than she had imagined he would be. She turned her head to his side of the bed. Empty. But it would be, it was well past dawn, and he was expected at a council meeting. There was a note on the nightstand.

Last night was amazing. Looking forward to doing it again. I’ll expect you at dinner again tonight. Look in the closet.

She took her time with the shower; it was much more luxurious than her own. It was a walk-in with enough room for at least eight people to shower at the same time. When she was done, she stepped into the dress and admired herself in the floor-length mirror. It showcased her assets well. But then, all the clothes in her closet did. They all had been provided by Liam and were high quality and high fashion. He had good taste; she’d give him that.

When she was dressed, she picked up the phone and called Hana to reschedule. They could have lunch tomorrow. Today she had slept in thanks to her adventures with Liam. The man was insatiable. Their post-coital cuddling had led to a second round, then a third. And he really did like it rough. She had thoroughly enjoyed their little interlude, but now it was time to turn her attention to phase two of her plan. Time was running out.

She had his blood, now she needed his spell breaker.

She didn’t have to look far to find him either. When she arrived back at her room, Drake was already outside her door. She stopped well away from him. She wanted to talk to him before she got close enough for him to smell her.

Shock flashed across his face when he saw her, “You’re not in your room?”

“Obviously not.”

“Liam told me to resume guard duty this morning, he didn’t say where. I just assumed you were in there. I didn’t realize you’d be up so early.”

“Yes, well….errands…” she drummed her fingers across her lips for a moment then she smiled at him, “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”

A guarded expression flitted across his face, “Go ahead….”

“Liam calls you D’hala not Da’sa, why is that?”

Drake bristled as he answered, “Because I am not a servant!”

Awed disbelief mingled with elated surprise, “He hasn’t bound you to him?”

“No. I told you; I serve him by choice!”

“Oh, my dear sweet boy, being bound is a choice.” She marveled at the combination of strength and downright naivete she had found in him. Shifters, especially of the Pantera species, were some of the most powerful beings on earth. Physically he was a force to be reckoned with and magical means of defense or attack could not touch him. Yet he seemed almost innocent when it came to the ways of the world, most likely a result of the sheltered life he’d led at the palace.

She repressed her glee as she realized how incredibly simple Liam had made this. Stealing his spellbreaker would be easy. So easy it almost wasn’t sporting.

The cuff that adorned her right arm might be suppressing her demonic powers, but she had the full arsenal of all her vampiric powers at her fingertips. She supposed Liam wasn’t aware that when a vampire drank from a willing victim, some small part of the victim’s abilities were conveyed upon the blood drinker. In this case, his magic.

She’d never felt so much of someone else’s power coursing through her veins before, but perhaps the magnetic pull of her magic to his had somehow heightened it, strengthened it. Whatever the reason, she now possessed enough magic to help push the already teetering on the edge of giving in to her tiger right over the precipice.

Drake was immune to most magical forms of manipulation, but he wasn’t immune to tiger pheromones. And those she could easily manufacture now that she had access to a modicum of Elven magic. Produced by magical means or not, the pheromones themselves would be real enough. An illusion would never work on him. Fortunately, demons could shapeshift, so it was a simple matter of modifying her own actual pheromones, customizing them so that she became irresistible to him.

“I….what?” He eyed her with a combination of mistrust and curiosity.

“You can’t be bound against your will. It’s a form of…commitment.” One you couldn’t easily take back.

His only response was a grunt.

“There are benefits to being bound you know.”

“Like what?”

She shrugged languidly, “Depends on who’s doing the binding. Being bound to an immortal creature bestows immortality onto you as well.”

“Who wants to be immortal?” Shifters already had very long lifespans.

“You might, if you were truly devoted to someone. Wouldn’t you want to live as long as your lover?” With that, she moved down the hall, passing in front of him to open her door.

His nostrils flared as she walked past him into the room. His sense of smell was far more advanced than humans. Even this many hours later, there was no mistaking it. The scent was there under the soap and shampoo from her shower.

She cast a glance back over her shoulder, “What’s wrong, shifter? You look pissed off.”

Without preamble, he stepped into her room, grabbed her by the arm, and jerked her roughly to him. He buried his nose in the crook of her neck and inhaled then he shoved her away with an accusing glare, “His smell is all over you!”

Riley stumbled backward but regained her footing, and her wits, quickly. With a mocking smile, she lifted her shoulders, “So? Why does that matter to you?”

“Why does that matter? Yesterday you were ready to….we were ready to….you let me….I….I thought….”

“Listen, tiger, I need a man who can think for himself. A strong one. Does that describe you?”

“Yes!”

She stepped into his personal face and tilted her head up to give him a challenging stare, “Prove it then.”

He visibly started, “Prove…what, exactly?”

“Prove your devotion,” she sank her fingers into his hair, “You want to serve so badly…serve me instead.”

“I…”

“That’s what I thought,” she shoved away from him, and spun to walk away, “pathetic.”

The beast inside him sprang to life as pain, fury, and desire twisted together into a deadly combination.

He reached for her and pulled her back, ripping the clothes from her body in one fluid motion. He pressed himself against her naked backside as a feral growl spilled out of him and his tiger rippled a little too close to the surface. He sank his teeth into the back of her shoulder as he struggled not to shift.

What the hell was happening? He’d had sex before, he’d felt lust and desire before but never had it affected him like this. His body was reacting to her as if she were another tiger. A female tiger in heat. He’d never actually experienced that, but every instinct he possessed was telling him that’s exactly what she was. Every instinct he had was also screaming at him to claim her, to possess her, to wipe Liam’s scent from her body and replace it with his own.  

As he struggled to calm his beast and contain himself, Riley pushed back against him, rubbing her firm, supple ass against his rock-hard cock, “What's wrong, shifter? Even now you can’t step a toe out of line without permission?”

With fury and lust clouding his mind, he forced her to the floor, heedless of the bed mere feet away. He dropped to the ground hovering over her, one hand pushing into her upper back as the other tore at his own clothing. His cock sprang free, and he pushed her legs apart then shoved himself inside her with a primal roar.

He drove himself into her with a ferocity that would have frightened him had his mind been clear enough to register it. His senses drowned in a tidal wave of need overpowering in its intensity, wiping away every vestige of common sense, and self-control he possessed.

Riley writhed underneath him, pinned face down on the floor as he pounded relentlessly into her, deep in the grip of a passion and lust-fueled delirium. Pupils blown, restraint gone, he hurtled toward the edge of the abyss and crashed over it as his teeth tore at her shoulder. Her blood filled his mouth, and her scent filled his nostrils as his seed filled her insides. He pushed one last time, sinking himself as deep as he could go as he finished pulsing inside her.

He collapsed forward and lay on top of her panting as the roaring in his ears receded and some semblance of sanity retook him. He looked down at her ripped-up shoulder in horror, “Riley, shit! I’m sorry!”

“It’ll heal,” she told him. The only thing that healed quicker than a shifter was a demon. Indeed, the skin began knitting itself back together as he watched.

He scrambled off her, sprawling on his ass next to her on the floor, his head swiveling from side to side as if he wasn’t sure where he was or how he had gotten there, “I…I don’t know what happened…”

His pants were still tangled around his legs, he’d never gotten them off, just shoved down. Her dress lay on the other side of the room, ripped completely in half. He jerked his pants up, but the zipper and button had been torn out. “What the fuck?” He whispered to himself then his eyes lifted slowly to take in the woman he’d just ravaged without so much as a by your leave.

Riley had pulled herself into a similar seated position. Her eyes bore into him as she licked blood from her lips.

His eyes widened, “Did I….did I hurt you?”

“Define hurt….”

“I’m sorry…I…I don’t know what just happened to me….”

“Come here,” she motioned for him to move closer.

He scooted forward until he was in front of her. Lowering his head into her lap he fought back tears, “I swear I’ve never…I wouldn’t…I didn’t mean to….”

“It’s okay,” she crooned as her fingers combed through his hair and caressed his scalp, “I pushed you to it.”

“There’s no excuse for losing control like that,” he croaked out, his arms circling her waist as his body began to shake with soft sobs.

“Oh, my sweet tiger, you are such a delightful mix of strength and vulnerability. There’s so much you don’t know about your own kind. Let me help you find your way. Let me help you come into your own.”

“How?” He lifted pleading eyes to her.

“Let me bind you.”

“How will that help?”

“Well for one, no one will ever be able to separate us, you’ll become immortal like me, and I’ll have eternity to teach you everything you need to know.”

“Would I have to go to hell with you when you leave?”

“That’s the beauty of it, tiger. If we do this, if you agree to it, then I don’t have to leave here. Ever. You and I and Liam can all be together, for eternity. You love him, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“In two days’ time, he becomes immortal. Bind yourself to me and so do you. You’ll never have to leave him, or me.”

“You can teach me about the other shifters?”

“My dear sweet boy, I can teach you anything you desire to know. We can go into the Black Spire Mountains and meet other shifters if you like,” she continued to stroke his hair as she crooned in a soothing voice, “We can hunt the monster that killed your mother together, and when we find it, we’ll destroy it! Once my full powers are restored, we will be a force to be reckoned with!”

He sat up abruptly, “You would help me avenge my mother?”

Her eyes danced with the anticipation of victory, “Oh yes my darling, we will crush the beast!”

He stared at her for a long moment then nodded, “Okay, I’ll do it!”

“Excellent!” she clapped her hands before conjuring an athame out of the ether, “Give me your hand.”

He eyed the ceremonial dagger as he considered the weight of his decision. The blade did not frighten him. She frightened him. But she also excited and mesmerized him. The thought of being bound to her for eternity galvanized him and he extended his hand to her willingly.

She grasped his hand in hers, “Look at me. I’m going to teach you the spell now. You must remember it and recite it perfectly. Can you do that for me?”

“I think I could do anything if it’s for you.”

“Good boy. Now listen carefully.”

Once she was convinced he had the invocation down, she returned her attention to his hand, still grasped in hers, and carved a symbol into his palm, then carved the same symbol into her own. Lacing their fingers together, she pressed her palm into his, mingling their blood as she intoned the incantation, “Magicam antiquam invoco, obedientiam tuam invoco, adstringo te mihi nunc et in perpetuum!”

Their hands began to glow as heat tingled against both palms. His resolve never wavering, he pressed his palm into hers as he repeated the chant she had taught him, “Tibi me libenter obligo, me tibi totum trado. Voluntatem meam trado tuis nunc et in perpetuum.”

The glow brightened until they couldn’t see their hands and the heat intensified to an almost painful level. There was a loud popping sound and the light, and heat, disappeared.

He felt an invisible force settle around his heart and tighten. Drawing his hand away from her, he turned it palm up to study the design carved into it. The blood was gone, his hand was clean and the design faded as he watched until his palm was just skin again. He flexed his hand open and closed. He couldn’t see the image she had carved there, but he could feel it. There was now an invisible cord connecting them, a thread he could follow, a tangible, undeniable force binding them together.

He opened his mouth to ask her what happened next but before he could get the words out, the door burst open, and Liam stumbled into the room, “Riley! Drake! What have you done?”

[someone1348]

We're feeling small today and very lee sooooo turtle tots! Hehe!

The people in this: Ler!Donnie, Lee!Leo, ft. Raph for a small moment! (they are both 6 years old in this fic! Raph is 7 and a half)

This is based on one of me and @aninabanina6969 many Rps! So thank you lil sis for this inspiration and for being amazing!

Tw: none this is so adorable

With all that being said Enjoyy! :]

-K

____________~☆°♡°☆°♡°☆~_____________

My "Annoying" Brother

The tiny turtle in purple adjusted his glasses with a sigh as he went to go ask his big brother for advice. Leo had been bothering him all day! Constantly copying Donnies every move and refusing to share when it came down to it! He needed help on how to handle him so he turned to Raphael for some assistance.

Gently knocking on the door, he let himself in and sighed. "Raphie, Leo's being annoying again!" He crossed his arms before Raph giggled and lifted him onto his bed. "What makes you say that D?" The older one asked Gently as he looked at his younger brother.

Donnie sniffed before he explained the situation. "He's been copying my every move. He doesn't share and keeps begging me to play with him when I tell him I have things to do!" He pouted as Raph smiled a little. "It sounds to me like he wants your attention, Donnie"

Donnie gave him a puzzled look, still pouting, "But why me?" He asked as Raph giggled "Well you see, Donnie, you are twins. You share the closest bond of all! You know he never stops talking about you. " Donnies eyes lit up for a split second before he spoke again. "What do you mean? I don't understand" He sighed as Raph shuffled, now fully facing forward to talk to the younger one, placing a gentle hand to his shoulder. "Leo never shuts up about you D! He thinks you're the coolest, smartest most amazing twin in the whole wide world" He smiled as he continued "He says he's so lucky to be your brother" Donnie teared up a little "He said that?" Raph nodded "Yeah he did! You wanna know what else he said?" Donnie nodded quickly as he spoke "He said he loves you soooo much and he hopes you feel the same even though he knows that he annoys you!"

Donnie frowned a bit before readjusting his glasses again "Yeah he's annoying but he's MY annoying brother!" He huffed before getting off of the bed "W-Where are you going?!" Raph asked as he tilted his head in question, "To go find Leo and show him how much I care!" He smirked before closing the door on the hunt to find his twin brother.

"LEO!" Donnie shouted as he busted Leo's door down; the turtle in blue dropping his basketball as he was startled "You scared me D!" He giggled "What brings you to my room?" He smiled as Donnie sighed "Do you really think I don't love you?"

Leo's eyes went wide before he spoke again "Wha-? What do you mean! Of course I know you love me D!" He smiled being genuine as Donnie continued to explain his reasoning "Raph told me that you think that I don't love you because you think you annoy me too much to that I say Nay! Dear brother! I love you so much and I am going to make sure you know that!" He smiled at him as Leo blinked, trying to process everything.

"D! You don't have to do that I know that you love me just as much as I love you! I'm okay really!" He smiled putting his hands out in defense

"Ohoh no! You wanted my attention allll day and then I hear you don't feel loved, not gonna happen" He pulled Leo into a hug before smirking

"Woah-" Leo squeaked before accepting the hug "Well, this is very nice thank you Donnie!" He smiled trying to be careful of his soft shell, not seeing the smirk that was carefully spread across Donnies face "Don't thank me just yet giggles~"

"Wait Wha-HAHA DOHON-" Leo squealed and giggled, falling to the ground as Donnie scribbled alll over his ribs.

Donnies smirk only grew as he sat on top of his twins thighs, holding his arms above Leo's head with one hand "You're going to accept my love dear brother weather it's tickly or not~" he giggled skittered up and down his ribs leaving no bone untickled

"DOhOhonnIEhEhe! I AcCeHeHePT!" He squirmed a little out of instinct with a smile as he shook his head from side to side

Donnie smiled at his brothers antics "You accept my tickles! Fantastic! Tickle Tickle Tickleee little Leoo~" He smirked before blowing a raspberry to his ribs

"HEhEHEy! NOHho! ThAhAhats NOHOT- wAhait! IHHim NoHOHOT LIHIHITTLE!" His laughter went up an octave as he kicked his little legs onto the floor

"Yes you are! I'm older by three seconds~" Donnie giggled as he blew a raspberry into his stomach

"WHAhahatehehever!" He giggled gently trying to pull his arms down as Donnie went even more tickle monster on him, "I think thoes arms of yours need some attention, you know how you were needed it this morning~"

"Nononono!"

"Yes yes yes! Tickletickletickletickle~" He giggled tickling his underarms with his free hand

"DOHohohonNIEhehe!! IhHit TiHihicKleS!" He threw his head back laughing while Donnie giggled with him "You're laugh is contagious! Achoo!" He joked before blowing another raspberry to his ribs

"DEHEHE NO MOHORE I ACCEHEHEPT!" He squealed with laughter before Donnie smiled rubbing away the ghost tickles and giving him a proper hug.

"You're annoying yes, but you're MY annoying brother okay? Don't ever think I don't love you, you dum dum"

Leo teared up a little as he hugged him back "I'll never forget that I promise"

"Good or the tickle monster will come back and remind you, again and again and again" he smirked poking his side quickly

"Okahay okay! I uhuhnderstand"

---------------------------------------------------

This feels rusty but still I hope you all enjoyedd! Have a great day, Take care of yourself, Treat yourself and have a very happy holidays my friends! You truly deserve it and I could not be more proud of you! :]

-K <3

[strawbhat]

04-10-24

HAIII

I didn't write yesterday... i think i was too sleepy :3

yesterday i saw ,my friend! she came round to clear up her old flat and me and my mum helped rip up her carpets ehehe. my mum bought us pizza!! she is an angel after that i think i just rotted and played sims for 7 hrs straight... super into sims rn

today ermmm i DEFINITELY FOR SURE didnt skip college.. oopsie! in my defense i had a baby migraine and if i went i probably would have collapsed or soemthing... ummm. i swear. but i went back to sleep instead of going and slept 15 hours! so i must have needed it.

and then all ive done is play the sims... im building an emo starter home bc theres an event rn where u chill with the grim reaper (BC THERES A SUPER COOL PACK COMING OUT I WANT IT SOOOO BAD)

im going back to rotting idc. i am tired! i dont wanna go out tmrw! my head hurts! like this if i should fake food poisoning.

song of the day is i think

You're So Vain by Carly Simon. WHITE GIRL ANTHEM!

[mountainhaunt]

top 10 bands/artists let's goooo. i was tagged by @findusinaweek (bless you) so here's a loosely ordered list.

1) Hoppipolla. i could, can and have written literally a 2k+ word review on Hoppipolla's second album that turned more into a love poem from me than anything. y'all really don't want me doing this here.

B U T suffice it to say this timy little korean indie melancholia quartet has touched my soul in ways nothing else has. a few of their songs mean more to me than most things in this world do.

also!! world renowned cellist!!! hong jinho!! in the group!! seriously gorgeous, poignant magic these four create together.

the best/worst part is they dropped into the world, released two 10/10 heart stopping albums and then vanished again as if it were nothing.

2) Radiohead. i heard 'in rainbows' for the first time when i was 15 and it's what started me down the road of truly loving music and not just listening to it. radiohead is my baby and were my number one until hoppipolla came along a few years ago. ive been lucky enough to see them twice in concert and both experiences changed my dna i swear.

3) the Mountain Goats. the goats are like placebo in that i couldn't listen to them for a long time because of His Voice and i know that's like a trope at this point.

that was back in high school. now, john darnielle is hands down my favorite songwriter of all time and i unironically love his voice. no one writes lyrics and tells a story like he can and i constantly find myself turning to their music.

4) The Postal Service. death cab for cutie? eh, not bad, but can take or leave. ben gibbard + dntel? masterpiece.

their one and only album, give up, is my number one favorite album of all time and as much as i love it/them, i am SO glad they didn't release another. nothing could compare. anything that tried would only cheapen the debut album.

5) Hozier. i want to lay in the moss and cry and fall in love with a sweet lil cottagecore girl and i get to do that every time i listen to a hozier song

6) My Chemical Romance. my first loves. i was OBSESSED as a teen when they debuted and will still defend their honor today. although suddenly they've become really popular and not something for middle school bullies to pick on me for, so... defense unnecessary.

7) Margot & the Nuclear So and So's. they are so dreary and melancholy and nostalgic and gorgeous. i came across them by accident in high school because i was obsessed with the name margot, saw their name somewhere and immediately went home to totally not pirate them and see what they were about. "my baby (shoots her mouth off)" is one of the songs i send people when i talk about having bipolar, lol. the other being "lovecraft in brooklyn" by the goats.

they just evoke a special kind of feeling that is hard to replicate, and it transports me somewhere when i listen.

8) Erasure. i didn't know they even existed until i moved in with my partner and now i feel like every older queer ive ever met over the course of my life who didn't introduce me to them failed me, honestly

9) Modest Mouse. 'the moon and antarctica' came into my life around the same time 'in rainbows' did and also furthered my realization that music was to be experienced and not just heard. i never get tired of them (except strangers to ourselves. i listened to that album 3/4 of the way through one time and never touched it again sorry)

10) Rammstein. i love the drama!! i love the ferocity!! i love the taboo!! and they are also the reason i studied german so they deserve a spot here.

i'm still getting this account off the ground and haven't really chatted with many of you so im afraid to tag anyone lmao but obviously feel free to do this if you see it

[hbyrde36]

Chapter 15!

Steve Harrington: Vampire Hunter

ao3 link

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12

Chapter 13 Chapter 14

Whoever was at Steve’s front door was persistent. They rang the bell over and over again as he rushed around, shoving his legs into a pair of sweatpants so he wouldn’t have to greet whoever it was in his underwear. He wasn’t expecting anyone this morning. Robin hadn’t texted and Wayne wasn’t due to pick him up for hours.

He padded barefoot to the door and was so annoyed by the constant buzzing that the second he reached it he threw it open wide. He couldn’t have been more surprised to find Jane, the scary young girl from Henry Creel's house standing on his doorstep.

“What, uh, can I, um, do for you, Jane?” Steve stuttered, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

She didn’t say a word in reply, just smiled and raised her hand palm-up in front of her face and made a little oh with her lips. Steve had a fraction of a second to notice the black powdery substance she was holding before she was suddenly blowing it right in his face. 

Whatever that stuff was, whatever she had done to him, the effect was immediate. The world around Steve swam and he felt himself begin to fall. He waited for the pain to hit him but it never came, blackness overtook him before he ever hit the floor. 

Steve came-to in a dark room with a dirt floor. It was cold enough to make him shiver and wish he had thought to throw on a t-shirt before answering his front door. In his defense he hadn’t expected to be abducted today. It smelled damp and musty and the word cellar came quickly to mind. He could feel that he wasn’t alone, that he was being watched, but he hadn’t turned his head yet to confirm who it was and so far had been careful to only open his eyes a crack.  He kept his breath even as he took stock of himself. 

He’d been knocked out plenty of times before, and in a few different ways, but the weird thing about this time was, he remembered everything and he felt…fine. 

It was no different than waking up from a nap. Nothing hurt, and he wondered if he had ever even hit the ground or if Jane had floated him away once he passed out like she had done with the objects in Creel’s house. There was also no fuzziness to his thoughts like there usually was when he got hit too hard in the head. He had the hysterical thought that he wished more bad guys would use the stuff she had.  

He finally opened his eyes and turned over. In the low light of a few candles he could see Jane sitting on top of a box no more than a few feet away. 

No, not a box. A coffin. 

Right, so it was still daylight outside. The question was, who was in the coffin? Henry didn’t seem to need to hide from the sun nor did Steve think a man like that would lower himself to rest in a place like this. 

Only one way to find out.

Steve cleared his throat. “Who’s in the box?”

“Oh, so I see you’re done pretending to be asleep now.” Jane said.

Steve sat up, still a little amazed at how good he felt. 

He decided to act dumb, though it was only partly an act because he really didn’t know what the hell was going on. “All this wasn’t necessary, I told Henry I would think about his offer and I meant it, but I haven’t decided yet. He promised me time, so what’s with the kidnapping routine?”

Jane grimaced at the mention of the ancient vampire’s name. “I am no longer on Henry’s side, although he does not know that yet. I don’t know if you’ve met my friend Angela.” She said, patting the box beneath her. “She’s promised to free me and my sister from him. We had a plan, but neither of us expected him to get his hands on a real live necromancer, so we had to improvise. When I met you yesterday at the house I knew I had to stop you from joining him.”

Okay. He didn’t really understand what she meant, or what made him so special, but he couldn't worry about that now. His top priority was to get the hell out of there before Angela woke. She was old and powerful and would likely rise before sunset. He didn’t know what time it was now, he didn’t know how long he’d been out of it, he just knew he needed to hurry. 

He didn’t want to hurt Jane if he could avoid it. Maybe she could be reasoned with.

“I haven’t agreed to help him yet.” Steve repeated, glad that he was telling the truth and hoping the sincerity carried through in his voice. “What if I promise not to help him, will you let me go then?”

Jane sighed as if she suspected this conversation was coming, but wasn’t looking forward to it. “I’m sorry, but It’s more complicated than that now I'm afraid. We can’t have you helping your Master of the City either. Angela must kill him and rise to the position herself to have any hope of defeating Henry.”

Steve knew what was coming next. Jane would ask for his cooperation to put Angela in charge, which he was never going to do. He felt for Jane, in a way. If she really was doing all this to gain her and her sisters freedom, he could almost understand. Though, even the bad guys had families sometimes and he couldn’t afford to assume anything about this girl just because she loved her sister. 

But, maybe he could try to convince her that Angela couldn’t be trusted. 

“Jane, I know you don’t know me, and I don’t know much about your situation, but I have met Angela and I can assure she is not your friend. If Henry is bad, then she is worse. She…”

Jane cut him off. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. She is my friend! She promised!”

“Angela and her people have murdered innocents, Jane. Did you know that? Did she tell you what she did to them? Her and her friends attacked me and an older man, unprovoked. She almost killed us. And when we did manage to get the upper hand she was going to let us kill one of her friends. She didn’t care what happened to him.” 

“You’re making that up. You're trying to trick me!” She shouted

"No honey, I swear I’m not. I also swear that if you let me go I will do everything in my power to help you and your sister. It’s part of my job, to help people who are in trouble with vampires. Please, just let me go before she wakes, we can both go. I’ll keep you safe.”

Jane threw her hands over her ears and screamed wordlessly, trying to drown out what he was saying. As she did, things began to explode all around them. Glass mason jars, tins of screws, and barrels full of liquid. 

She hopped down off the coffin and stood glaring down at him with eyes simmering with fear and anger. “She warned me you would do this! She told me not to talk to you alone but you woke too early! She will be up soon and you will see. You will have to join us or die. There is no other choice. Anything else puts Kali at risk, so you better start preparing yourself for whatever fate you choose.”

Jane walked off to the other end of the space and sat down…on the bottom step. He hadn’t noticed it before but there were three short steps that led to a set of metal doors, only the barest hint of outdoor light visible around the edges. She had closed her eyes and seemed to be meditating.  

Steve wracked his brain for what to do. He was pretty sure he could overpower the girl physically, but Jane was a witch and he didn’t know the limits of what she could do. He had his own power he could try to tap into, but if he did that she would probably sense it and he would lose any element of surprise. 

There was one thing he could do. The one bit of magic he could do better than anyone else, it was as easy as breathing and required only the smallest amount of his power. He dug his fingers into the dirt floor and could sense the bodies that lay beneath it. He didn’t know if they were more of Angela's victims or if the house that stood above them had once belonged to a serial killer, but there were several sets of bones under this ground and one of them lay right under Jane’s feet.

He pushed his fingers further into the earth and called to the bones, releasing only the barest hint of his power. The zombie didn’t need to look good, it just needed to rise and do his bidding. In his mind he whispered to the dead man what he wanted him to do, along with an apology for using his earthly body this way. 

The zombie was ready, itching to burst towards the surface but Steve held him fast, told him to wait, wait for just one more minute.

Steve got to his feet and slowly approached the girl, better to be as close to the doors as possible before he gave away his advantage. 

Her eyes shot open at his movement. “What are you doing?” She asked, and she sounded appalled as if stunned he would move from his spot without permission. If she had really expected him to stay put maybe she should have tied him down. She wasn't very good at this. Maybe it was her first kidnapping. 

“You looked upset, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He lied. 

She tilted her head staring at him with furrowed brows. 

A few more steps and he’d be right in front of her, it was time. He let go of the metaphorical leash he was holding and instantly a bony hand broke through the packed dirt and grabbed on hard and fast to her ankle. 

Jane cried out and tried to wrench her leg from its grip. Steve dodged around her, praying that the door wasn’t somehow locked from the outside. It wasn’t, but there was a chain wrapped around the pull handles secured with a padlock. It was old and rusted, Steve yanked on it but the links didn’t break. He scanned the room sure there would be something around to help him break through, and he was right. There was a shovel with a metal head leaning against the wall only a few feet away. 

He lunged for it as he listened to Jane continue to struggle with his zombie. It had now completely escaped its shallow grave and had its arms locked around her waist. She was screaming in terror. He wondered why she wasn’t using her powers. Maybe all she had was telekinesis or maybe wrestling with an animated dead body that was nothing more than bones and bits of flesh was just frightening enough to make her forget about everything else.

He hit the chain with the head of the shovel as hard as he could. Three or four good whacks and the links snapped. He started to unwind the remaining length of chain from the door when the lid to Angelas coffin popped open with a crash. He’d hoped she would go for Jane first, to help free her from the zombie but of course she didn’t. She went right for Steve. He tossed the chain aside and quickly snapped the shovel handle in half over his leg. He may not have shoes or a shirt, but now he had two wooden stakes. It was better than nothing.

Angela grabbed Steve by the throat and slammed him into the steps, hissing in his face. His back hit the edge of one of the wooden planks and it hurt like a motherfucker but he managed to hold on to his only weapons. He jammed one of the bits of wood into her side, digging it in as deep as he could. It wasn’t a killing blow, but that wasn’t the goal here. He just needed to distract her long enough to get the doors open. The daylight would do the rest. 

She reared back, shrieking in pain and yelling at Jane to help her. Steve scrambled backwards up the final step and rammed his shoulder into the center of the double doors pushing them open and sending sunlight cascading into his end of the cellar. 

Angela shrieked again and threw herself further back into the shadows of the opposite end of the cellar.

Steve struggled to his feet, back aching and more than one splinter in the bottom of his foot, but he did it and ran out into the backyard of a small house. Autumn leaves crunched under his feet and the sound echoed behind him. He looked back over his shoulder to find Jane standing a few feet outside of the cellar watching his escape. He expected her to at least run after him, or worse, but she just stood there and shouted to him. 

“The black powder is deadly.” It was enough to slow him down, to give him pause. He turned to face her from twenty feet away. “There is no antidote, but I know a spell that will heal you. Otherwise, you’ll die within hours. Stay, agree to bond with Angela and I’ll save your life.”  

Steve wasn’t buying it, he felt fine. She was just trying to scare him into turning back. He was bathed in sunlight, Angela couldn’t get to him, and Jane seemed reluctant to leave her. 

He wouldn’t fall for it. He turned his back on her and ran.

Steve had been walking on the side of the road for only about ten minutes when a car pulled up beside him. He’d started out running, and kept it up until he could no longer see the abandoned house and he was sure that Jane wasn’t going to give chase, but his feet were getting torn up in the process and eventually he’d been forced to slow down.

“You look like you could use a ride.” A familiar female voice called out to him through the open car window.  

He stooped down to peer at the driver and sure enough, it was Nancy. He wasn’t in any position to refuse the help so he got in the car, albeit a little reluctantly. 

What was she doing out here? 

Wherever here was.

She looked him up and down before pulling the car back onto the road. “Are you okay? Do you need a doctor?” She asked. 

Apart from the pain in his back and his scratched up feet he was fine. Well that, and there was a tightness to his chest that was new, but that was probably from the running. “How did you know I was out here, Nance?”

“How do you know I wasn't just out for a drive and got lucky?”

He stared at her in silence, unblinking. 

She glanced between him and the road a few times and let out a long breath. 

“Fine. I saw the girl take you from your house. I followed you here. I swear I was going to come to the rescue, I just wanted to see what…”

“What the fuck Nance you followed me here? How did you see her take me, were you staking out my fucking house?”

“Yes! Alright? Yes, I've been watching you. I’m sorry. Look, I took the contract and I know you were hesitant to help me outright so I thought…”

“Stop!” Steve shouted. The whole thing was giving him a throbbing headache. “Just…stop talking and take me home.”

 “Are you sure it’s safe for you to go home right now?”

She had a point. 

He wasn’t sure why that hadn’t occurred to him yet. He felt tired and a little foggy. It was probably the fading adrenaline. Oh well, whatever he decided to do would be none of her business after the stunt she’d just pulled. 

“Just drive.” He said, turning to look out the window. They made the rest of the long drive in complete silence.

He slammed the passenger door of Nancy’s rent-a-car and stood in his front yard watching until she had driven out of sight. He knew he should get inside and pack and bag. Call Robin or Wayne to pick him up. He could easily stay with one of them for a few days until he figured out what to do. He was so tired though. He stumbled his way over to his front porch steps and sat down. He’d just rest for a minute, catch his breath, then he’d go inside and take care of things. 

Distantly he heard the door to the house open behind him, and felt footsteps as someone walked across the porch. He tensed, not sure he was up to fighting anyone else off right now 

“Steve?” 

It was Robin. Relief flooded through him and he wanted so badly to turn and look at her, but his body wouldn’t cooperate and his head felt like it weighed a hundred pounds. He tried to say her name but something caught in his throat and he began to cough uncontrollably. Something hot and sticky dribbled down his chin. 

Robin came bounding around the side of him so she could see his face. She gasped and fell to her knees next to him. His vision blurred and he saw only red as she took his head in her hands. She was screaming his name and he wanted to respond to her, he really did but he was so tired. He couldn’t even sit up anymore. He slid sideways and landed in her lap. He closed his eyes and realized how quiet it had gotten. He couldn’t hear Robin anymore, just the rush of blood in his ears until he drifted away, and then that was gone too.

Steve woke up and had no idea where he was. It was becoming the theme of his life at this point and one he was desperate to stop. He was lying on his back in an unfamiliar king sized bed made up with black silk sheets and far too many pillows. 

He stared at the ceiling and tried to think. What was the last thing he remembered? He wasn’t sure, but something about the ceiling and what he could see of the walls was familiar. He shook the feeling off and tried to concentrate. He remembered the doorbell ringing, and Jane standing on his doorstep. It all came rushing back, the cellar, Angela, Nancy, her dropping him off at home. Robin. 

“Robin.” He tried to sit up, gasping her name. 

Suddenly someone was at his side, supporting his back and stroking his hair. 

“Hey, hey, hush. Take it easy, sweetheart. Robin’s just fine, she’s in the other room resting, it’s been a long night.”

Steve looked up and met Eddie’s deep brown eyes with his own. He looked nervous, scared even. He ran the vampire's words over again in his head. A long night? The last Steve knew was the middle of the day. What the hell happened?

He pushed away from the other man and tried to sit up on his own, happy to find that he could. In fact, the longer he was awake the better he felt, which he had a feeling should not have been the case.

Eddie scooted away from him too, widening the distance between them. Steve was pretty sure that was a first. 

He cleared his throat and wrapped his arms around himself to keep them from shaking. 

“Why am I here, Eddie?”

“Robin brought you to me.”

Steve didn’t like the way he said her name like it was common to his tongue, like he knew her. He’d managed to shield Robin from this part of his life for so long, and now here she was in the thick of it. She knew of Eddie of course but Steve had never intended for them to meet. It was enough that he let her around Dustin. He was safe, but Eddie…

“Don’t look at me like that, Steve.”

“Like what?”

“As if I'd hurt her.”

Steve ignored the pain in the vampire’s voice and asked the next logical question.

“Why would she bring me…” He trailed off looking again at the familiar fixtures on the walls. He had been here before, but the room had looked a lot different then. Billy’s coffin room. Now it looked more like a very large master bedroom. There was even a bathroom built into one corner of the room now. ”Here?”

Eddie hesitated, eyes guarded. “You were dying, Steve. Do you not remember?”

He did then, it was all coming back to him in snippets. Sitting down on the front step because he’d gotten tired, coughing and watching blood droplets splatter the white concrete, Robin looking horrified as he collapsed into her, red seeping into his eyes as he passed out. 

“I remember.” He muttered. He'd been so sure he was a goner but it had all happened so fast he hadn’t even had time to be afraid. Fear gripped him now though as he realized what may have been done to save his life. 

“Eddie. How is it that I'm sitting here, now, alive?”

The vampire heaved a great sigh. Steve felt a prickling of pain in his wrist. He looked down and found it wrapped in gauze. He already knew the answer but he needed Eddie to say it. 

To admit to what he’d done. 

Again.

“I think you already know.” Eddie admitted, weakly.

“Say it.”

“The third mark.”

Steve shook his head, he almost couldn’t believe it though the evidence was right in front of him. “You bit me. You fucking fed from me.”

“I had to.” 

“You son of a bitch.”

“I saved your life.”

“You drank my blood while I was unconscious.”

“Yes. I did. And I'd do it again.”

Steve sucked in a breath ready to tear into Eddie for what he'd done, but then the door sprang open and Robin came tumbling into the room. She jumped right up onto the bed and threw her arms around him.  

“Oh my god, Steve! You’re alright! I really thought this was it, that I'd never see you again!” He hugged her back and settled for glaring at Eddie over her shoulder for now. 

Robin sobbed into his chest as she began to ramble. “I’m sorry Steve, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what had happened to you, and I was going to take you to the hospital but I thought, what if they got it wrong, what if it wasn’t a medical thing at all. I didn’t know what to do but I knew Eddie had saved you before so I thought… I'm sorry, Steve, I was just so scared and I didn't want to lose you.” She sniffled and her body shook as she ran out of words. Steve rocked them back and forth as he rubbed her back. 

He wasn’t happy that she’d brought him here but he couldn't be mad at her when he was the one who almost died in her lap.

“It’s okay, Rob, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you.” He pulled back, smiling at her as he wiped the tears from her face. “Can you wait for me outside? I need to talk to Eddie alone. I’ll only be a few minutes.”

Robin glanced nervously from him, to the vampire, and back again, looking like she wanted to say something but ultimately held her tongue. She nodded and left in a hurry, though he was sure she wouldn’t go too far. 

Steve rounded on Eddie the second the door closed. “I can’t blame her for bringing me here, I know she couldn't stand to see me like that and would do anything to save me, but you KNEW how I felt about this! You knew I would have refused if I could have and still, you did it anyway!” He was shouting at the top of his lungs by the end of his speech, chest heaving. 

Eddie remained calm in the face of his anger. It was infuriating.

“Is it not possible, Steve, for you to believe that maybe I also couldn’t stand to see you like that? That I couldn't stand the thought of losing you either?” The vampire said softly.

“Fuck you.” Steve spat. “Don't try to turn this into something it’s not. You want me because of what I can do for you, the power I can give you. You never gave a shit about me, if you did you would have respected my wishes.” 

“Let you die, you mean? Steve, please listen to me, I..”

“No! Shut up, I don't want to hear any more. Just tell me what this means, what new fun surprises I have to look forward to and then I'm leaving.”

Eddie laid back against the sheets staring up at the ceiling as he answered. “More of the same. We’ll be able to speak to each other seamlessly mind-to-mind now when we’re close if we choose, and we’ll be able to share minds and bodies as we did with the snake with a greater ease as well. You are very hard to kill now. No poison, venom, or illness can touch you. You’ll still age, but much slower. You’ll be able to keep me out much more easily too, if you wish.” 

“Well thank god for small blessings.” Steve hopped off the bed and walked straight for the door without looking back. He felt great, better than he had in days, physically at least. 

“Wait,” Eddie said as he zipped to his side and tried to grab his arm.

Steve side-stepped him easily, moving quicker than he ever had in his life as he felt Eddie's presence move towards him as if in slow motion.

He opened the door and only then turned around to face the vampire one last time.

“Stay the fuck away from me, Eddie. I mean it.”

The ride home in Robin’s car was tense. He wasn’t mad at her, exactly, but he was mad, and she knew it. He was stoic as he told her about Jane and Angela. He then also had to tell her about his meeting with Henry Creel because her first question had been, who the fuck is Jane? 

She didn’t say anything throughout, just listened, and when she did finally speak it wan’t about anything he had just told her. 

“Steve, I know you're mad at Eddie, and that you hate him for what he did, what he’s done, but I think you should give him a break.”

“Rob, don’t.” He said, a note of warning in his voice. 

“I think he’s in love with you.”

“Bullshit!” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. She was his friend! She was supposed to be on his side!

"Steve, you didn’t see what I saw. The way he looked at you, how scared he was.”

“He drank my blood, Robin. That’s not my idea of love.”

“No, but maybe it is his.”

“I’m done talking about this. I hate him, I’ll never forgive him for this. I told him no, in no uncertain terms. He betrayed the small amount of trust that lived between us. I’m done.”

They pulled up to his house and Steve got out of the car quickly. Robin made like she would follow but he put his hand out to stop her, speaking through the open door.

“Listen, I said I wasn’t mad at you, and I meant that. I love you, but I need a little time to wallow, okay? I promise I won’t stay here. I'll call Wayne to come pick me up. I can stay with him for a few days at least. We have work later tonight anyway, and…”

“Work?! Steve, you can’t be serious! I’m sure your Dad is pissed you missed last night but-”

“This isn’t about him, Robin, not this time. I need something that’s mine, just mine. Something that is the same now as it was before Eddie.”

“Okay, I guess I can understand that. Be careful, and at least text me every few days so I know you're still alive.” She said. 

He shook his head at her and smiled despite himself. He leaned back into the car and smacked a kiss on her forehead. “I will text you every day, every hour if it makes you feel better.”

She snorted. “You know, it actually would, but I won't hold you to that. I love you, Dingus”

“I love you too, Robs.”

Steve’s stomach was in knots.

He’d been so sure he was doing the right thing when he made the call, but now, sitting in the truck next to Wayne on their way to the office he was filled with dread. A sinking feeling deep in his gut.

He felt sick.

He felt guilty, and he was pissed off because it was bullshit. Eddie had betrayed him first, and the more he’d thought about it the angrier he’d become until finally, he’d decided. 

He’d decided this was his best chance at getting his life back. At getting back to normal. 

Henry could do it. He was more than strong enough to get rid of Eddie, and Angela, and then Steve could put this whole thing behind him. He worried for Dustin, but Owens and Henry both assured him that they would keep an eye on the kid and that none of the other vampires would be hurt, even those who might stand against them in Eddie’s defense. 

Not that it would come to that, anyway. Steve had truly given Eddie up. He’d told them his daytime resting place and described the underground of the theater in stark detail,  even going so far as to tell them about the route through the sewer though it was likely closed off now.

He’d told them about the new vampires, and how Eddie could now call werewolves to his aid. He told them anything and everything he could think of to make it as easy as possible, including the fact that he now bore Eddie’s third mark, unsure of how much new power that had granted the vampire.

Henry had expressed concern at the news. “Mr. Harrington, I would be remiss if I didn't tell you. With the third mark…you do realize you may die with him, don’t you? Are you sure you wish to go through with this?”

“I’m sure.” He’d said quickly. He was just grateful that this was all they wanted from him, for now. He'd given Eddie up, but that didn’t mean he wanted to watch. 

Reluctantly, he’d also told them about Jane and her alliance with Angela, and hoped Henry would be merciful.

Wayne seemed to know he was struggling with something, and remained quiet as Steve’s thoughts continued to swirl. 

Doubts were suddenly creeping in, and he wondered why something as powerful as the oldest living vampire had needed his help for this. Surely he could have taken Eddie from one of his businesses, they were public enough. Though, Henry had seemed to have a great respect for human life, so perhaps he was waiting until dawn to limit the number of innocent bystanders. 

In addition to all the information Steve had shared, Henry also asked Steve to support him and his platform once he rose to power. He figured he was in it now, for better or for worse, and there was nothing he could do but agree. 

Steve’s phone began to ring loudly, pulling him from his thoughts. It was a blocked number and he almost didn’t answer it but in the end his curiosity, and Wayne’s glare at the noisy piece of technology, won out.

“Hello?”

“Necromancer?”

“Jane? What…”

“I’m sorry to call you like this.” She interrupted, speaking quickly before he could ask what she wanted. “I’m sorry about everything, Steve. You have no reason to trust me but I need you to listen to me now. It seems we have both made terrible mistakes and put out faith in the wrong people. I’m calling to see if you would be willing to help me fix the mess we’ve made?”

Steve sucked in a harsh breath as his heart sank. “What do you mean?”

“I overheard Henry and Owens talking. I know you gave your master up to them, and that you told them what I did.”

“Jane, I…”

“It’s okay, Steve. It’s not the first time I've been caught...misbehaving. I’ve been punished and managed to convince Henry that I'm remorseful. There’s more.” She paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “Henry and Angela are working together. They always have been. I didn’t know. I swear I didn't know. I thought Angela was my friend. I don’t know what has happened between you and your Eddie to make you hate him so, but you have to warn him. We have to find a way to stop this or a lot of innocent people are going to die.”

“What do you mean, what’s going to happen?

“He’s going to sneak in tomorrow morning to kill Eddie and take control of the city, which you already know. What he didn’t tell you is that when the sun sets he’s going to force every vampire in the city to attack humans, with orders for maximum bloodshed.”

Oh God.

How could he have gotten it so wrong?

“Tomorrow?” Steve gulped. “But that’s Halloween. The streets will be full of families, kids.”

“I think that’s the point.” She said softly.

Fuck.

“What do we do? What can we do?”

“Warn Eddie, move him, try and come up with a plan. Do whatever you can and I will do the same from this end of things.  Henry thinks I'm on his side again for now which may give us the upper hand.” 

“What about your sister?” Steve asked.

“I can’t condemn so many others to death to save the life of one.” 

“My offer still stands Jane, if we survive this, I will help you get your sister back if I can.”

“I’m sorry I didn't trust you before, Necromancer.”

Steve’s breath caught in his throat. He knew exactly how she felt. “It’s okay, it can be hard to know who to trust sometimes. If anyone can understand that, I do. How do I reach you once I'm with Eddie?”

“I’ll find you when I can. Good luck.” She hung up before he could say the same.

Steve threw the phone to the floor and slammed his fist into the dashboard with a curse, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. 

“What is it, son?” Wayne asked, his own face pinched with worry. 

Steve dropped his head into his hands. “I fucked up, Wayne. I fucked up so bad and now people are going to die and it’s all my fault.”

Chapter 16

Thank you @penny00dreadful 😘