#in my defense I actually have been drawing a lot I'm just not ready to post those yet

[roadsaltedpretzels]

Finished commission!! A couple of Mystery Dungeon OCs in as close to the title card style as I could get it!! This one kicked my butt for an embarrassingly long time but I prevailed and I love it now

[goodluckclove]

In Defense of Self-Inserts

This is written in response to an ask sent from the Always Delightful @fukurouonthesea, who asked for my thoughts on creating unique characters in regards to a tabletop game character they're building. My first thought on getting this question is that Fukuro likely assumes unique characters are a subject I know things about - good to hear! Good that people assume I know things! That works out well for me.

So I can speak more on the perspective of writing characters for prose and scripts rather than TTRPGs. I recently finished my first campaign, but I was sort of tricked into playing by my wife who was DM-ing and ended up going the whole time with a joke character I really couldn't find any actual dramatic pathos in*. My next attempt will hopefully be more intentionally-crafted. But also still probably chaotic. I tend to lean that way, apparently.

But characters! How do you do them? Or, more accurately, how do I do them? There's a ton of paths to get to the same goal of Cool Guy That's Fun To Read About, but I'd love to take this opportunity to put off actually working on Migration Patterns for a while longer and instead ramble about something I've been wanting to dive into for a while.

Self-inserts are actually super useful! They're great! All of my characters are self-inserts and virtually no one has ever commented on that! I genuinely don't think they've noticed!

(this is a long one)

What is a self-insert, really? The definition I'm the most familiar with in writing is a character drawing (maybe even heavily drawing) from yourself as the author. I saw people back in the day get very mean about self-inserts, considering them an overlap with the Original Sin of Mary Sue-dom. It's 2024, though, and these days Mary Sue is primarily a term used to describe female characters that a critic personally doesn't like. Still, I've had a TON of writers come to me worrying about writing self-inserts, and I'm consistently confused.

Maybe it's because I've been doing this for long enough that I've built up an immunity to the dumb nonsense people say online posing as "Objective Writing Advice". Maybe it's because I'm a huge fan of Kurt Vonnegut, a man who straight up wrote himself as a side character in a few of his most notable books. I've never gone that far, but I absolutely pull from my own life and identity for all of my characters and it consistently works.

I think when a reader points out a character as a self-insert, it's a reflex of seeing someone with notably less nuance than the rest of the cast. This character - let's name them Goobis - is written with the near-explicit intent to be just super cool. It's an instant turn-off for me in a written work if there's one person I can just look at and immediately know they're crafted to be the fandom darling. Goobis might have faults, but if they do, they're pretty cool faults. They're things that could definitely be bad if pushed to a thematic height (Caring too much, over-protective, self-sacrificing, a level of snark that's guaranteed to make impressionable fans slightly insufferable for a few years), but they aren't.

Goobis, typically, gets kid gloves in terms of the treatment of the story. Plot Armor, maybe. Or they might be a Plot Martyr that has every bad thing ever happen to them and everyone around them is either an old-timey villain or a kind cardboard cutout that weeps oh no poor Goobis!! Both are fine. There's an audience for both, clearly. But from what I've seen those are the types of characters that typically get readers - myself included - to think they're a form of wish-fulfillment.

You can do wish-fulfillment in writing. You should do that at least one, it's nice and good for bone health. But man, there are a lot of writers (Including adult ones that I've known in my real life) who can benefit from - like - distance, man. Draw from yourself and your life, but unless you're ready for a conversation maybe don't be one-to-one accurate.

I have a relative who got a masters in creative writing. I found his novella online and aimed to read it and send him my thoughts as a show of support, only to find that it was actually unbelievably pretentious and I honestly couldn't get through it. What drew my attention, though, was that the main character was dealing with the grief of his father, who died literally the exact same way my relative's actual father died.

I caught it immediately and I think I whispered "oh no" out loud. Like, what are you doing dude? Your mom read that shit, and she had to see you describe an entirely accurate depiction of how her fucking husband died that is such a weird move. Processing grief through writing is great - but change some fucking specifics, you weirdo. Make it a mom instead of a dad, or maybe an uncle or grandpa if you're keeping the patriarch thing. Change the reason why he needed surgery, or the medical complication that caused his death. Maybe don't name the exact hospital where your Dad died in this non-autobiographical work. Fucking hell.

Shifting some surface-level details from events in your life is, often times, enough to make it so people directly involved in these events can read them and not even realize what you're referencing. You can also tweak a certain event slightly to fictionalize it even further, while still having the honesty of your real life experience. I dropped out of school while starting the same creative writing program my relative graduated from. What if I stayed? What would my life look like? What would my writing look like? Would I still even enjoy writing? The concept of sliding door moments is a fascinating one to me and it's something I think about a lot.

On a more internal level in terms of character, you know more of yourself than anyone else in your life. You know your fears and your faults. You know what makes you lovable - or what people say they love you for, or what you'd like them to love about you. You probably know things about yourself that are so painful and trembling that you assume that if anyone else finds out about them they'd immediately realize you're worthless as a human being. If you don't know any of that, maybe you should. Internal contemplation - or external though something like therapy - is absolutely beneficial in a ton of ways, including for your art.

People are complicated. Everyone is complicated, and the average person as the most experience with their own network of identity. And in my own work (The only craft I can really speak for), putting at least a touch of myself in the characters I create has really caused people to engage and relate to them.

And it's weird, because I can't really think of any major faults that any of my characters have. At least, not in the way a lot of newer writers describe character faults - like some rubber stamp easily marked in the center of a person's forehead. There are things about the cast of my series Songbird Elegies that I see as struggles that either have to be processed or managed. Someone might be self-loathing, or struggle with emotional intimacy, or have a temper that will absolutely steer them wrong. They might be impulsive to a degree that is no longer Quirky Cute. That's not great.

But growing writers will sometimes make a fault out to be a thing that you can see very clearly in a person above anything else. As if you can point at a guy on the street and say BAM - SEXIST! Which - yeah, you can do that. I can have brief interactions with people I don't actually know and come away thinking that someone is stupid or lazy or irresponsible or any number of bad qualities. It's only if I got to actually know them - either though a relationship or just somehow following their lives as an outside observer - that I'd learn they slipped through the cracks in school so deeply that they just stopped caring, or they went through a loss that resulted in them choosing to survive instead of actually live.

Your worst qualities weren't predestined from birth. The Meyers-Brigg is absolute nonsense mainly utilized by the military and most major corporations. There are things you might hate about yourself that once served to protect you. This is true for everyone you see, but when you're just starting out in art it might be hard to see that. That's why it's so helpful to first draw from yourself.

So draw from yourself to whatever degree you want. Give Goobis your sense of humor, but maybe use it as an opportunity to explore why you're so quick to joke and what doing that might be avoiding. Have Goobis experience the same childhood birthday that irrevocably changed the course of your life, but maybe change what year it happened and make it a close-up magician you found instead of a Spiderman Impersonator. In fact, consider seeing what would change if it was Goobis' innocent little brother who stumbled across Spiderman's dead body instead of Goobis themself. If you're willing to be honest - not excessively self-deprecating or praising, just honest - you'll probably be surprised how many people see themselves in the people you write.

God that was long. I hope that helped maybe? Helped someone?

*It was an eldritch horror wearing a cowboy Hat of Disguise to look like a bulldog. His name was Socks. He ended the campaign traveling to early 2000s Philadelphia and kidnapping an NPC with him. This was after Socks paid for the NPCs Wizard school education, then paid for the NPC to become a potter after crossing paths again, and then sacrificed the NPC to be an immortal slave to a Time Spider. In the climax of this campaign Socks used the Teleport cantrip from Wizards101 to banish the final enemy to the Tomb of the Beguiler. Things went off the rails real quick.

[genericpuff]

lmao so RS just confirmed she STILL does not, in fact, have a buffer.

FAST PASS SPOILERS AHEAD

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To kick this off, let's be real, 2 weeks is NOT enough time to build up a reasonable buffer.

When she took that 2 week break after the wedding episode went up, I knew 1 of 2 things was going to happen:

She was going to piss away the entire break on social media not getting anything done

Even if she DID get anything done and a reasonable buffer of more than 3-5 episodes built up, the episodes likely wouldn't be very high quality as you can't turn out shitloads of decent quality panels like that in just 2 weeks.

I think Rachel really just needs to acknowledge and take ownership of the fact that she is not good at managing herself, her time, or her team. When she started LO in the Originals section, she even admitted to not having a very strong buffer.

Now yes, in her defense, she hadn't fully transitioned to drawing LO full time when she started, but even still, she seems to treat her FastPass episodes as her buffer rather than creating an actual buffer.

A buffer is not "well I still have 3 episodes locked to the general public" or "I have the next couple episodes sketched up".

A proper buffer is "I have the next several episodes finished and exported and ready for their respective release dates." This ensures that they aren't racing to meet deadlines during the release period after pre-production (which is a surefire way to screw yourself over or write yourself into a corner) and that if anything happens in real life that prevents them from working on future episodes, they can still put out new episodes because they have a cushion of episodes still waiting to be released. Webtoons typically recommends its creators have anywhere from 9-15 episodes of buffer ready by the end of the pre-production phase. That usually means 3 free episodes, 3 FastPass episodes, and at minimum, 9 more episodes sitting on the backend, adding up to a minimum of 15 episodes. It sounds like a lot, but when many WT series run for 40+ episodes per season, 15 is a small number. Especially for a comic like LO which had 90 episodes in its S2 run and 116 in its first season. S3 of LO is already 37 episodes in.

She's also basically admitted to just writing as she goes in the past because most people working on their webtoons in productions like these have at least a decent skeleton of a story going on that they don't have to write as they draw. Writer's block doesn't happen in webcomics unless you're writing as you're going, same as how it doesn't typically happen in animated movies because you should already have a basis to work off of before you start the brunt of the visual work that needs a narrative structure to exist.

Now, all that aside, the reason I'm bringing this up again (as I've talked about her buffer range before) is because I've once again been proven that Rachel doesn't have a shred of a real buffer.

And the smoking gun this time was the horse.

This stupid fucking horse.

Now, besides the fact that we're a little sus this is meant to be an in-comic jab at all the criticism of LO pointing out how Persephone always looks like an MLP character-

-but that pony toy drawing didn't make its first appearance in Episode 241, it made its first appearance on Instagram. Not as a preview for episode 241 or as an official LO drawing, in her own words, 'just a pony'.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Rachel Smythe (@usedbandaid)

As always, this is still just an estimation based on what goes out in LO and what Rachel posts to her IG/Twitter, but this pretty much tells me her buffer is STILL only 1-2 weeks ahead of time, because that pony drawing time lapse was posted two weeks ago. When we checked the actual timestamp of the post the day the episode it showed up in went up (Episode 241) it was ten days old.

Not to mention, the timestamps on those reddit posts? A month old. Granted, we had been making MLP jokes in the ULO/antiLO community prior to that, but the fact that this "my pretty pony" gimmick came out so soon after someone did literal art of Persephone crossed over with MLP, it really just furthers the suspicion (in addition to shitloads of other instances) that Rachel is snooping in on these crit communities to try and "clap back" at them through her comic. Which is something she'd only be able to do with a limited buffer anyways as it allows her to change things on the fly in response to criticism or whatever hurt her feelings that week.

That said, I won't be certain of this 1-2 week buffer estimation until we see when cowboy hat Hades shows up.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Rachel Smythe (@usedbandaid)

I'm calling it now - it will be showing up in this week's episode which goes up April 22nd.

Place your bets, folks.

[ohdearlingwhathappened]

Chapter 3 Kid x Reader x Killer- And then there were two

Chapter 3- Is that all this was

Content Warning: Angst, Hurt no comfort, there will eventually be comfort- you just ain't gonna find it here, Kid is a warning himself soooo

Chapter 1- Is that all this was?, Chapter 2

I am so sorry for how long this took me. I was recently in a car accident, and with college starting back up and my new job, I think my brain was pretty much melted. I'm hoping I'll be able to get back into a normal writing schedule, so fingers crossed. In the meantime- Enjoy the new Chapter!

A bright light streaming in from Kid’s cabin window found its mark on his face, bringing him out of his less than restful sleep. The man brings his arm over his face, not ready to go out and start his day, but it seems his movement and the sound of the bustling crew up above was enough to draw him even further away from sleep’s alluring grasp.

Groaning out a small string of expletives, the arm covering his face lowers and drags the hand down his face. Waking up alone made the whole ‘waking up' thing a lot harder than he remembered it being- he was much more used to slinging an arm over another body to stall or having one of two people gently rousing him. This morning’s experience just adds yet another drop of regret for Kid’s words from yesterday.

Regardless of his difficulty getting out of the bed, Kid forces himself to roll out of bed- quite literally- and gets dressed for the day. Now that he was a little more aware of his surroundings, the fact that enough of his crew was on deck to cause a bit of commotion gave him some pause. They have been at the safehouse for a couple of days now, so Kid is a little surprised more people aren’t on the shore celebrating being on land again. 

Going up the stairs to get to the main deck, Kid opens up the door only to bump into the last person who would want to see him at the moment. “Ah… Good morning, Captain. I take it you slept well since it’s well past noon, and this is the first anyone has seen of you today.” The tone was unfamiliar and- while not cold- it wasn’t exactly a warm greeting either.

“I actually slept like shit. Couldn’t get comfortable with all the room I’m not used to.” Kid grunts out with a hint of defensiveness, refusing to look away, no matter how much he wants to. Y/n’s shoulders tensed and they clenched their jaw.

“Well, not to worry, Captain. I’m sure you’ll be able to get someone to warm your bed soon enough. If you’re lucky, they won’t jump to any unsavory conclusions.” Never afraid to get to the point and be cutthroat about it- there’s a reason why Y/n fit in with the Kid Pirates so well. The sardonic smile loosely held on their face and biting tone would make just about anyone flinch, and though it was brief and minute, Kid was no exception.

“Y/n-”

“Now, if you’d be oh so kind to get out of my way, I have more duties to fulfill to do my part on this ship. After all, I haven’t proven myself to be worthy of this crew yet, right?” With that, they push past the broad-shouldered man and begin to make their way downstairs. Until, that is, a hand wraps around their bicep to stop them.

“Would you let me speak, Damnit?!”

“I think you said enough yesterday, Eustass.” Y/n’s tone was now frigid, leaving no room for argument. “Besides, you have your ever-important alliance meeting soon- you don’t have time to chat with the likes of me.” With that, they yank their arm from Kid’s grasp and stomps downstairs, waiting until they know he isn’t going to follow to let the tears they’ve been fighting to finally glide down their face.

Kid, not expecting to have this kind of conversation with Y/n this soon, heaves out a sigh before steeling himself and walking out on deck. The crew appeared to be hard at work, cleaning the deck and making sure any valuables were being stocked away to be put under deck. Wire passes by his captain but stops once he sees the confused look on Kid’s face.

“Y/n thought it would be a good idea to clean up for our… guests. They’ve been a bit on edge- probably just nervous about the meeting with Apoo and Hawkins.” Once he finishes filling Kid in, Wire goes back to helping the rest of the crew out. 

There are still a few more hours before the meeting was to begin, so Kid decided to help with a couple of boxes before going into the safe house to work on his side of the negotiations. Killer had helped him set up the parameters of the agreement, to start him off but has most likely left him to his devices after yesterday’s events. The massacre killer would most likely come around to notify him of the incoming ships and will probably stay throughout the meeting to ensure no bloodshed erupts from Kid’s less-than-appealing temper.

This alliance has to go well. 

*      *       *      *      *      *      *

“I can’t do it, Kil.” Y/n sighs, their head resting on his chest and arms wrapped loosely around his waist. “Everytime I look at him I feel like I’m going to implode. I’m so angry, but I love him and want to forgive him, but he hasn’t even said sorry. One second I want to punch him, the next I want to cry and have him comfort me… What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing. You’re hurting.” Killer’s left hand is placed atop their head, his right is wrapped around the back of their shoulders, keeping them close.

“You were dragged into this, and I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have to feel like you need to pick sides between your par- whatever we all are.” Y/n cutting themself off from calling them lovers cut both of them. And despite having no more tears to shed, they hiccup- grieving the relationship that apparently never existed in the first place.

“Look at me-” Killer, holds their chin to bring their eyes to meet his mask, “I love you. You are my partner. And no matter what he says, Kid does too- his head is just too far up his own ass.”

It wasn’t the first time Killer had said he loved them, but it wasn’t a common occurrence and every time made Y/n smile.

“I love you too, Killer,” They took his mask-clad head in their hands and brought it down to place a kiss on his forehead, and then resting their own against his. “But I can’t stay. Not right now.”

Killer stiffened and breathed out a heavy sigh. “Where are you going to go?”

“I don’t know quite yet. I just need time and space away from him.”

Killer doesn’t respond. While he understands their need to go, he can’t help but to worry about their safety- this is the New World, not the South Blue. His hold tightens around Y/n, knowing this could be the last time he gets to do this for a while. “I get it. But please, be careful.”

“Don’t worry about me- I’ll be totally fine. Look, if his plans stay the same, you all should pass by Wano within the next month- and no matter what, I promise you to come back. Nothing will get in my way.”

The usually stoic man had a slight tremble to his frame, never loosening his grip around one of the two most important people in his life, despite feeling like they’re slipping through his fingers. “You better.”

“Promise me you’ll stay safe too.”

“I swear.”

“And make sure that moron doesn’t do anything stupid either. Ok?”

“That’s a big ask, little one, but I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you, Kil.” 

With their conversation having come to an end, they both stand there, soaking in each others’ warmth and touch, for a few more moments before Y/n pulls away, kisses his mask once more, and makes their way out of the small cabin- leaving Killer alone, wondering how things could have gone this wrong in not even 48 hours.

Taglist: @claxdoesntknow @teddyitalia @baelien-queen @heilee @iamn1ya @gnarlycrys

[toloveawarlord]

Event: Be My Valentine 2023 (Edition: White Day)

Pairing: Reo Mikage x fem!Reader

Prompt: "In my defense, they didn't have a smaller teddy bear in stock. Hope you have some space in your bedroom"

wc: 1k

a.n: I am working on the requests! Here is some sweet Reo. Since Japan's "Valentine's Day" is kinda split between Valentine's and White Day, I made this one a White Day version which is the female receiving a gift from the man.

There were long chunks of time that Reo was away.

You were unable to travel with him this time, due to your class schedule and upcoming midterms. The university wouldn't allow your professor to reschedule the exam to allow you the time needed to fly overseas for Reo's game. It was frustrating but the two of you made it work with lots of phone calls and face chats whenever Reo had the chance.

Even if it was only a few short minutes, Reo claimed that he couldn't survive without hearing the sound of your voice and seeing your pretty face.

You'd settled in for the night, having ordered take out for a late night dinner. The remnants were littered across the coffee table in front of the couch that you lounged on, scrolling through social media before you inevitably fell asleep right there.

The doom scrolling was interrupted with a goofy photo of Reo popping up on the screen, the sound radiated out that he was calling.

"Reo!"

"Hey, baby! I was afraid you might be asleep at this hour." His face was incredibly close to the screen, filling the whole space. You were supposed to be asleep; you had an eight am class but Reo was fully aware that sleep meant little to a college student.

"Not yet. I have to get my daily dose of your face before I can sleep. Nagi's new girlfriend is such a doll and took a ton of awesome shots from the game." You'd quickly become friends with her, spending an ample amount of time conversing about the best friends and bonding over being soccer girls.

Reo laughed, gaze shifting ever so slight away from the phone as he walked. "You'd be pleased to know that she wore that awful shirt with our faces plastered on it to remind all the fangirls that I'm still yours."

"Oh my god! She actually wore that?"

"With a huge grin. Nothing embarrasses that girl."

This was how it was. If you closed your eyes, you could immerse yourself in his voice, imagining that he was here in the room with you. He continued to spill all the details about the game, the juicy ones that no one could see just watching.

You've known Reo since childhood. You'd been there when his parents told him that his future was set by them, and seen how it had affected him. It wasn't until he started playing soccer that Reo finally came into his own. He started doing things for himself, things that truly made him happy.

That included confessing to you. He was a mess that day, an adorable, blushing mess.

"What's got you smiling so happily?" Reo asked, drawing you out of your memory and back to the present.

"You, obviously." Perhaps it was the day that made you so nostalgic. It was impossible to miss all the couples and love in the air. Every commercial on the television was an advertisement for White Day.

"Baby, don't tease me! My heart can't take it."

A loud knock at the door interrupted.

"Hang on. Someone's at the door." How annoying. You were certain you hadn't ordered anything, so it was probably you're fussy neighbor. She hated any kind of noise, stating that she could hear your headphones leaking through the walls. Crabby old bitch.

But when you jerked the door open, ready to give her a peace of your mind, you were greeted with a peculiar sight. Instead of a wrinkly old woman, it was a giant, brown teddy bear.

"Wha-"

"Happy White Day, baby!"

It surely sounded like his voice on the other side of the monstrous sized bear. You caught a glimpse of his messy purple hair sticking up over the shoulder.

Several seconds passed in silence. You felt like a soda can being shook up, about to explode. The lovely gift turned into an adversary, in the way of you being in the arms of your love. Wrestling the heavy bear away and letting it crumple to the floor, you launched at him. "Reo!"

He easily caught you, embracing the full body hug. His strong arms holding you up, your legs latched around his waist. "I missed you, too. Was afraid I wouldn't make it in time. Traffic from the airport was a mess."

You grabbed his face and kissed him, savoring the taste of his lips. Time apart truly did make the heart grow fonder. "You jerk!" You finished your passionate kiss and landed a soft punch to his shoulder.

"Ouch!"

"You absolute-" How he'd managed to pull this off, you couldn't fathom. "God, I love you so much!" Your heart was flipping in your chest. The adrenaline pumping through your body. "I can't believe you're here."

Reo was proud of himself for pulling this off. It had taken a lot of work, and convincing the head coach to allow him this trip between games was hard won. "I'd do anything to see that gorgeous smile on your face."

As if you needed a reminder of how smooth his was, Reo easily carried you and the bear inside. Lingering in the hallway might summon the neighbor and he didn't want this elated mood to drop even a smidge.

"I love the bear, too. Even if he's triple my size."

"In my defense, they didn't have a smaller teddy bear in stock. Hope you have some space in your bedroom," Reo replied, setting you on the counter in the kitchen. His hands slid over your thighs, simply glad to have you in front of him.

You were the same, unable to keep your fingers from running up and down his biceps. His kisses were soft, lips barely leaving yours to take a little breath and then tasting you again.

"I suppose he'll have to take your spot on the bed. Don't worry, the floor is very comfortable- ah!"

Your teasing invigorated Reo to attack your sides, tickling you into a fit of hysterics. Your laughter was infectious, one of his favorite sounds. He loved being on the field, competing on a stage, but this was what filled him with true warmth and passion.

You.

"Welcome home, Reo."

"I'm glad to be home to you." The visit may be short, and soon he'd be back on an airplane to rejoin his team, but every second until then, he promised to spend with you, exchanging kisses and giggles

[armpirate]

UNDER YOUR SKIN || JJK || Ch. 18

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: You were awful on anything related to flirting, guys and sex. He was the perfect ladies man. You wanted to get rid of your virginity. And he was there to help you with everything you needed. You didn't have the best start, but that didn't mean you wouldn't have the best of the endings.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

—I'm so excited you finally let me know about your dates —Tammy sings excitedly.

If only she knew this is actually the first date I'll have in twenty six years, and that's the only reason why she didn't know of the previous ones -also the fact that I got to learn we were friends, and not only coworkers, the moment Soo invited me to the cabin in Seneca.

—I also wanted to make up for what happened the other day —I turn to her while the shop assistant starts packing our things.

—Y/n, it's fine —she rubs my arm—. We all have bad days.

Before I'm able to apologize, the blonde girl that's dealing with our clothes interrupts me to hand us the two bags.

—I know, but still... —I continue, walking with her to the exit.

—How long have we been working together? —she asks all of a sudden— Two years? Maybe? —I nod unsure— You've never come late, you've always had my back when I was having an off day, and every single time I was off, you carried all the work. It's your first time having a bad day, it's okay —she reassures—. Remember when I broke up with my ex and you were taking the orders, serving the drinks and also comforting me? Yeah, what I did the other day was nothing.

She wraps her arm around my shoulders and holds me close, rubbing my upper arm before letting go of me again.

—That's what friends are for anyway —she brings me a bright smile—. But don't get too used to doing that, huh? If you're off, I'll be the one who will have to be in charge of the bar and deal with drunk assholes, and I'm not mentally ready for such a thing.

I giggle and nod. Talking about it did really help a lot, at least it made me feel better about the way I treated her.

—On a more serious note, how did you meet this guy?

Honest answer would be that Jungkook came up with the idea of me creating a Tinder account, so I could approach men in an environment where I could feel more comfortable -since reaching to them in person, out of nowhere, I started the panic mode I have as a self defense. And this guy I'm going on a date with was one of the few that I matched with, and the only one that was able to keep a conversation going.

His physique wasn't as mind-blowing as Jungkook's, which was a good sign. At least I don't think I'll be intimidated in that sense.

—We met through Tinder —I shrug—. There isn't much to it.

—I'm so excited for you —she claps fast—. If I'm honest, I'm not a big fan of Tinder if you're looking for something long-term. I don't know. This boy could be an exception...

—I'm not looking for something long-term —I finish her rambling.

Given this was Jungkook's idea, and part of the same deal where I'm not allowed to have more than one date with the same guy, the possible fact that my date isn't looking for something long-term isn't an issue.

And just like that, the rest of the morning goes by. Tammy and I hang out until it's lunchtime, and we end up grabbing something to eat together. I can't believe it took me so long to get to know her better and hang out with her out of work (with the exception of the few times we've all met as a group).

While I'm drawing, sitting on the floor, and finding support on the coffee table, my phone shakes on the couch. At this point, I do wonder why I have a couch at all. I spend more time sitting on the ground than lying on my sofa.

Frustrated by the way the spider in my sketchbook looks, I throw the pencil over the table and turn my body to get my phone, just to find a chat notification from Tinder.

"I can't wait for tomorrow" shows up when I drag down the notification, along with his profile pic, where he's posing with his golden retriever. Is it too bad his dog got my attention more than him? I start to think I only slid right because of that beautiful fluff.

"Neither can I" I answer, but it's not true. I could wait for it. I could wait for it for weeks even. Actually, I could go fine without it happening. But then I remember this is all part of me leaving my comfort zone -this time for real-, and just get more comfortable interacting with other men. Which should I be used to by now? Considering Jungkook is a man, and I've spent more time with him in the last few weeks than anyone else I've ever known in my life -except for Tammy, but she doesn't really count because I've only spent so much time with her because of work.

Am I ready for this though? Will I enjoy it? Or am I only setting myself for a bad time?

And this is when I'm sure I need to take some fresh air and ease my mind. There has been just too much going on. It's totally normal I'm feeling the way I do right now.

I put the bomber on and decide to take a short walk. I don't care where I end up going, honestly.

Twenty minutes later, after being able to forget about everything going on in my life, I realize life might not want to see me at ease. Never. The moment I lift my gaze from my own feet stepping on the pavement, I see him getting off his motorbike once it's placed next to my entrance door.

—I see what you meant with not wanting to let girls know where you live so they don't bother you —I joke as I start getting closer to him—. Jungkook, you spend more time here than in your own house.

But the joke's over the second I pull from his hood, taking it off. A bright pink hair welcomes me, and not only it shocks me, but also makes me hope it's a wig.

—What the fuck did you do to your hair?

He covers his head under the hood fast before he turns to me with an annoyed look. His eyebrows are slightly frowned, while his nose scrunches every few seconds. And it's all laughs and jokes until I see his lip ring is missing and his lip is split with blood in the middle.

—What the...

—Will you keep screaming "what the fuck" or can we go up to your house?

I'd roll my eyes and tell him to fuck off, but I'm more concerned than pissed off. And that's exactly why we both go up to my place without saying a word, at least it's like that until we cross the door.

The second I switch the lights on, and he finally takes his hood off, I'm almost blinded by how bright his hair looks right now.

—You look like a furby —I'm unable to keep it to myself.

He fakes a smile, but the second the light hits his face directly, I can see clearer some bruises on his right cheek, too close to his eye.

—What happened to your face?

—This is nothing —he points to his face—. I thought I'd be able to knock one dude out at the first round during my boxing practice, but he was tough as fuck. I knocked him out, but he made sure to slit my face open before —he finally turns to me—. So, the reason why I'm here...

—It'd be great to know.

—Do you have hair dye?

I'm shocked by his sudden question, and for one short second I think he could be joking. But the way he's looking at me with wide open eyes, waiting for my answer tells me he is far from joking.

—Do you think this is a fucking salon?

But he doesn't reply back, he simply pouts his lips slightly and keeps looking at me, hoping for an answer.

—I think I might have something —I scratch my nape—. But you better tell me how you came up with the idea of doing —I look at his hair— that.

Looking through all the cabins in my bathroom -which aren't many-, I finally find one bottle of purple hair color I bought months ago, when I still thought it'd be a good idea to get some purple highlights like some some people did on Instagram, but soon after buying it I regretted it.

I pop my head out the door, finding Jungkook looking around. The second I call him, he rushes to get to where I am with a hopeful look in his eyes.

—It's a dark purple —I warn him—. It's closer to black than whatever you tried to do on your head.

—It was going to be a pink... reddish... —he starts explaining—. You don't have a different color?

—Sure. I have green, orange, blond... All colors just for you. Which one do you want?

—Sure that purple color will work? —he asks, the second he's aware of my sarcasm and how pissed off I'm starting to get.

—It's either this or you better rock the Peppa Pig look the best way you can.

I set everything to work on his hair. Huh, funny. Because I could easily give him the bottle and let him work on it by himself. But I insist on him staying and letting me do the work, and it's not like he was thinking of leaving either. The way he hides a squared smile the second I start setting the whole place for him is telling.

—Have I ever told you how good your fingers feel on my hair? —he asks with a soft voice, still with his eyes closed— Ouch —his voice cracks the second I pull from one of his locks.

—Why did you tint it? —I ask, looking at him through the mirror.

And god, even with his face totally bruised, he looks too fucking good to be real. His eyes open suddenly and meet mine, instantly causing a smile to form on his face.

—I wanted to try something new —as soon as he pouts his lips, I know he'll start complaining—. The box said it was a dark red, but it wasn't true. I washed my hair four times. Four —he emphasizes on the number—. And it just kept getting worse.

—Why didn't you go to a store and buy a hair dye?

He closes his mouth, and his eyes shake to every single reflection in the mirror except on mine. With both of my covered hands resting on his shoulders over the towel, I get his attention back to me.

—I was bored at home. It was late —I nod while he keeps explaining himself—. And I thought it'd go away after washing it.

—There's a 7Eleven right at the corner of where you live, Jungkook. You could've bought a bottle of black dye —I lower my body, so my lips almost touch his earlobe—. Was this an excuse to see me?

He clicks his tongue, shaking his head and throwing his hands up in the air while trying to deny what I've just said. And it'd have worked if he had been able to answer.

—Calm down, big boy. I was just kidding.

While I'm away to get my phone -after managing to take one of the two gloves off-, I hear him saying "It's not right at the corner, but three blocks away". It's still closer than my house, but whatever he says.

I approach him sneakily, raising my hand with the camera of my phone just to catch him off guard the second I scream "Say cheese".

—You have my drunk video, and I have a pic of you looking cute while getting your hair done. We're okay now.

But he doesn't really mind it. He just shrugs it off, or at least pretends he doesn't care about me having that picture of him.

And I get to know he was just pretending when the moment of rinsing his hair comes, and he keeps pinching my sides. I even threaten to smack his face with the shower head, but that only seems to encourage him to keep pinching my sides until he finds a ticklish spot that makes me lose my balance, with me falling on his lap and the shower head actually smacking his head in consequence.

—Oh my god, I'm sorry.

—You did that on purpose —a whimper comes out of his mouth, as he raises his hand to rub the spot I hit.

I tilt my head and twirl my tongue, before I try to get up and finish my work, but he holds my hips and keeps me right where I was. There's no point on arguing with him, because he'll be a pain in the ass until he gets his way.

For the first time since I met him, he makes me feel genuinely shy. Not when he had me cumming on his lap or when I first got naked in front of him. But now. Now that he's eyes are fixed on me while I rinse his hair carefully, taking his locks in between my fingers while his gaze seems to be following the tiniest move my pupils do.

But all that tension, all that it could've happened, it's ruined by a simple question:

—How are you feeling about tomorrow?

And that question brings me back to reality.

—Fine —I close the tap—. Nervous.

—It's your first date. It's normal —Jungkook taps my thigh, trying to comfort me—. Although if you still feel like you aren't ready, you are on time to cancel it. Even if the dude gets mad, it's not like you are going to see him again.

—I want to try it, at least —I move my eyes away from his—. Like you said, I need to get out of my shell. The more I go on dates, the faster I'll get used to them. At least, I hope so —I murmur—. Any advice for tomorrow?

—Just be yourself —he pinches my chin—. Start getting used to it. Remember what I told you about letting him think he has the lead, and let it all flow. Just act as if you were talking to me.

And that thought it's so difficult to make up. Because no one has ever pissed me off the way he does, but no one has ever made me feel so... good at the same time.

I nod, forcing a smile as I start moving away from his lap. He stops me from clearing the sink of everything I used to dye his hair.

—I'll do it.

When I see his reflection, he's wiping his hair with the towel I prepared next to my shower. And to be honest, yes, It's better that he does it. Because I don't think I'm able to think straight when he's so close right now, looking like that. Although he's wearing his usual baggy clothes.

What's wrong with me? And my body? And my brain? And why all of sudden I seem unable to think like a normal human being? If I could, I'd slap myself right now.

—I'll get going —he says, leaving my room—. Thanks for helping me out.

I want to tell him he can spend the night here, but I stop myself when I remember how many times he must've heard that same thing and how many times he must've rejected them. I simply smile and nod, not moving an inch.

—I'll send you a text when I get home.

—Sure —I let my head rest on my palm—. Put ice on your face.

One of his hands wrap around my neck without a previous warning, pulling me back softly so he can kiss my forehead.

—Good luck tomorrow. I'm sure you'll do great —he starts walking to the door—, but don't do too well, cocktease.

[motionjames]

Wake up girlies, it's time to return to the frontline!

Guess who has insomniaaaa! 🤗💕💕

A month of cramps, nausea, increasingly worse insomnia (but a strangely good mood) has lead me down the path once again. I caught wind of some strange "gfl2" thing and after being struck with nostalgia, I grabbed bluestacks and fell into hell once more. I'd deleted gfl off my phone simply because it took too much space but now that it's on my computer, it's become DANGEROUS...! Github and clip studio up front with logistics running forever in the background. Yes, the ideal working experience.

Anyhow, everyone say hello to Contender.

I've been making more progress in these past two days than I had in the entire two months I spent with my new account because I realized how to (partially) Not Be An Idiot. Turns out there's a thing called "anchored construction" and you can get some pretty nice units (eventually) if you realize it exists! Wow! I got the girly and now I'm working on grabbing Carcano because she is pretty but also insane skillz.

Also, there's a discounted gatcha running right now and that means I can finally get over my mental block and spend tokens... I was surprised at how easy it's been to acquire them, so I've just been shilling em out. My dorm was totally bare until now. I'm sorry, everynyan...

As for actual gameplay, I finally made it past 2-6. It might seem like a simple thing to most but I was yet again, being an idiot. I was under the impression that I HAD to have dupes of the girls to dummy link them when I actually was swimming in dummy cores 🤦🏽‍♂️ What's wrong with me... Well, I jumped over that hurdle, blasted through the emergency missions, and am finishing chapter 3. The first parts arent so bad when you learn how to read! 😃😃😃

First eschalon is good, it's the standard one that everyone seems to use to clear the early game. This second one is a WIP mess that I'm readying for night missions. You see, I'm really hurting for half-decent SMGs and rifles, the second one there is kinda lacking in defense/fire power... I wanna create a decent second eschalon and night mission groupie but I gotta figure out what units to invest in. I hope for Carcano soon. She is cute. Also, feel free to berate me for my bad decisions and suggest decent compositions. I am so lacking in SMGs that dont immediately explode (mpk you are so cute but so stupid). I'm currently looking at friend's compositions to figure out what formations work...

In completely different news and only further proving how dense I am, I only recently learned that Girl of the Bakehouse was related to GFL. I've had my eye on Reverse Collapse for a while now since it's a remake (of a remake?! I didnt play the previous one) of a visual novel I played in 2012 or so. The original vn was made in 2009 in like Kirikiri script and I was a young lad very fixated on all things with girls and guns (Gunslinger Girl was and still is a favorite of mine, I would've read it one summer at my Uncle's out on the front porch). There's an english patch now, but back then it was only in Chinese so I had to use text extracting and image translators, looking up the characters as I went. I got a cup of coco and opened up a patched version last night for old times sake. It's clearly a doujin work with those rough edges but it's so damn confident in its presentation you can't not get swept up in the presentation. The sound work make it very immersive. I highly reccomend reading it if you want a solid, emotional war story. Looking at the sepia soaked sketches, down-to-earth narrative, dense wordbuilding and general war otaku sentimentality... It really predicted a lot of my tastes, huh... 😅

Behold, teh wolfguy...

Back to work. Logistics still running. I can and WILL continue being stupid. The nostalgia is really strong, I'm tempted to draw fanart despite the sour memories of the past. Again, please berate me and tell me of your team compositions. I think my ID is 772030 but I promise you, I won't be any good on teh battlefield 😇 this machine runs off hopes and dreams, not realities!

[linalilia]

Can you believe that its been a year since we played this bingo game? Time flies, huh? Anyway, I was thinking that I could tell you my in-depth opinions of your Milgram ocs (and vice versa) before we move onto trial 2! Then we can come back to this and compare how our opinions of each others' ocs have changed. :D If that's okay with you, of course! Please don't feel pressured to do it if you don't want to!

I'll make a post about my thoughts on your Milgram ocs separately. Don't want to put such long ramblings in your ask box, haha. Look forward to it!

OHHH YEAH I REMEMBER THAT it's really been a year, huh.. and sure, i'd love to do that! sounds very fun <3

and speaking of trial 2, i'm not sure if i'll be able to post stuff like album covers and everyone's designs this month (maybe i'll post a pre-t2 voice drama or two though), because of irl things and i still have a lot of art to work on, but i already know how everyone will act and i have everyone's song titles and trailer voicelines ready and. yeah my ocs' t2 versions will act so different from their t1 versions 😭

anyway, here's what i think about your milgram ocs!

HARUTO >>>> no really i love him a lot! his design is so 💕💖💞💓💗 he sure is a pretty boy! he's very fun to draw and i like how he actually looks like a guard in that picrew!

now, about his personality. i love how chill and relaxed he is, his personality is like a nice break from those guards who take their job much more seriously (*ahem* es, eiji and miki). it's really cool how he understands that all of this is some kind of experiment too, because again, those guards believe that milgram is always right no matter what and never (or rarely) question it. i find very interesting how he's so unpredictable, but his verdicts also sound.. reasonable? (well, if we're talking about the canon ones) like he doesn't jump to conclusions and also his decisions are understandable. and it feels refreshing to see a character who's an amnesiac, but doesn't really care about his memories and who he really is. i have this theory that haruto was, like, a completely average person and his memories really aren't that important, but maybe he was "chill" in a different way, like maybe he was just very apathetic? maybe that's why he has a feeling that his memories don't really matter? i'm very excited to see him in season 2! maybe he will get some character development?

ichiro!! my son!! my blorbo!! i would be terrified of him irl but i still relate to him a completely normal amount okay, okay, gonna be honest, i didn't know what to do with him when you posted his poll, like, at the same time i don't think forgiving him is the best decision, but also.. it's complicated, like, i think i need more info about him and his crime.

i love how he just goes with the flow and doesn't really care about anything and the fact that he likes to draw makes him even more cute <3 his mood swings make him more realistic too, like he's not just -_- most of the time, like he's actually a very emotional person!

about the "part of a dynamic" part, i just think that even though ichiro's personality is what makes him unique, when it's just him, there's not much to talk about, i guess? like i think his personality truly stands out when he's interacting with someone else. i still like him a lot though!

akane!! i don't have much to say about her, but i really do think she's innocent, at least right now, and as i've said before, i thought that an innocent verdict could "calm her down" and make her open up a bit more, also i just don't think her crime was that bad, like i think you said it was self-defense in some way? even if it wasn't, i really don't think that akane is a type of person who would kill someone for no reason at all and i trust her. also i really like her cuter tsundere side too, hehe <3 i would still find her intimidating irl though.

also i really like the parallels between ichiro and akane, like, the first one still acts like a small child, meanwhile the other one is more mature (even though she doesn't seem like it at first?), it's like.. both of them are coping in a different way, i guess? makes me think about haruka and yuno too.

it's daisuke's turn! I WANT TO BITE HIM DJFHKSDKSLLS /pos. okay, he's another milgram oc of yours that i would be too scared to talk to irl i'm just a scaredy cat okay but i really do think he's innocent, again, at least right now, like i don't care about his job, you know, do what you gotta do, and when it comes to his crime.. idk, i'm really getting innocent vibes. like, if he regrets it, that's enough for me to forgive him. and come on, his poor little meow meow energy is so strong! you've also mentioned that he's suffering from survivor's guilt which is.. interesting. i really don't have any theories right now and i'll need more info to understand his crime better, but i'm excited to find out more about him! also all the women rejecting him is so funny HDHSKSKSKKD he's such a loser /affectionate

i think you've said that suzume is that one oc you've struggled with the most and tbh i think i can see that? not in a bad way, of course, it's just.. she kinda has that energy, like, she was added later than everyone else, i guess? like at the same time i really like her but i don't have that much to say about her? i do have my theories though and also her mv is one of my favorites! really wanna draw something based on it when i have the time, hehe.

i LOVE her design though, she's so pretty 💖💖 she kinda has that "third sanada sibling" vibe /j about the "didn't get enough screentime" part, i just.. it's like i can't really understand her personality, i guess? like i remember reading her profile and her voice drama and still going "WHO ARE YOU" JDJKDKSLDKS. like, i can describe everyone else's personality traits, but when it comes to suzume, i'm like ".. uhhh her mv has pretty crystals :D" AND THAT'S NOT EVEN A PERSONALITY TRAIT. that interaction with shun has helped me understand her a bit better though! (also help i've finished working on shun's mv description recently and now i'm looking at the shun x suzume part like. are you sure you'd be okay with a bf like that suzume. are you sure) i also have a habit to call her suzu whenever i think about her or talk about her out loud skdksdls please don't mind me i talk to myself way too often

. i am going to be honest with you, i genuinely forget that haku exists sometimes AND I DON'T KNOW WHY 😭 like i really love his design, i think he's very (unintentionally) funny, his mv also makes me THINK, but also. i don't know why, he's just so forgettable djsdjksksl?? like, whenever i feel like i forgot one of your ocs, my brain goes "you know. the one who has a brother" and i'm like "OHHHHHHH", like the piano part isn't even the first thing i think about??

again. i would be too scared of him to talk to him if i ever met haku irl. i can't describe it, it's just.. the vibes are weird. like i voted him innocent, mostly because i just felt like it would be weird for me to vote him guilty when i don't even know anything about his crime *insert kei's 100% guilty rate joke here* also. i might be wrong and i won't be surprised if i am wrong, but. is it just me or haku's brother's vibes are weird too. like i don't wanna say he manipulated him or something but like. i feel like there is a reason why haku was so loyal to him and it's not necessarily "oh, you know, they are family, they're very close and all", i feel like it goes deeper than that and it's actually darker. i may be overthinking it though.

YUI!!! one of my faves, honestly. probably because i had a long idol/music games and anime phase. i love her design a lot, she's very pretty!! she's such an interesting character too, because like.. at the same time the fact that she refuses to admit the fact that she's a murderer annoys me a bit also come on her milgram cover is inmf, but also i kinda believe her? like maybe it wasn't an accident, but an indirect murder? like she really was the reason why her victim died, but it's not like, you know, she did it with her own hands. that would be so embarrassing though, like she's really not doing well because of her guilty verdict right now and then it turns out that it really was an accident 😭 very excited to see her go crazy <3

listen. again. sorry for mentioning their designs all the time, i'm that kind of person who cares a lot about the visuals, but i really like rin's design! he's very cute!

(also a note: i actually can imagine all your ocs as milgram characters? like they have the perfect designs for that, i think. like they're not too bright and colorful, but they're still easy to remember and i think that's cool and they fit the whole milgram aesthetic really well! like, i wanted to try and draw my ocs in milgram art style, but i kinda gave up because i couldn't imagine them actually looking like milgram characters at all djdkslsl)

but when it comes to his other traits.. i really don't have much to say? like seriously, if i had a chance to talk to him, i would just go "get over it" sjhskaslsls. i have no idea what that girl did, like maybe she started dating someone or simply spending more time with someone, but come on, dude, get up, this is embarrassing. him being the youngest prisoner doesn't help his case either, like i can't take his crime seriously at all, i'm sorry :'D but who knows, maybe he'll turn out to be the most scary and dangerous prisoner here!

noa is another forgettable one for me, i'm sorry djfhnkdsl. i have a habit to refer to noa and suzume as a set, like, you know, sad girls who have some kind of love-related problems. it doesn't mean i don't like noa though! i just really don't know much about her and i don't know what to say about her. i would love to learn more about her relationship with her husband though and like.. how and why her whole crime even happened. and it's nice to see that your prisoners have a good older sister figure here if we don't count her using alcohol as a coping mechanism <3 her dynamic with rin is cute too!

OHHHH kiyoshi is a difficult one. like i voted him innocent (i think so? i don't remember that well actually), but.. i can't help but feel like something is wrong. like i really can't believe that it was just "self-defense". come on, his song title is literally "true colors", THERE MUST BE SOMETHING. but if he's just obsessed with justice or something and he saw what he did as self-defense, i won't be surprised. and the fact that he's more cheerful now also makes me feel like kiyoshi has a darker side that he hasn't shown yet. like don't think i will go easy on you this time, old man, i'll be watching you very closely <3 (also i remember you saying that riku and kiyoshi would get along well? i wonder what you meant by that.. maybe it was about the "everyone relies on them, but they can't rely on anyone" bit?)

and another one with scary vibes jsjksklsls maybe i'm just not a fan of characters who kill for justice, their morals or what they think is "right"? like something about that sounds messed up to me. and yes, i voted mayumi guilty AND I DON'T REGRET IT OKAY. sure, maybe your patient was a criminal, but again, you're a nurse and you should do your job. don't think that you have the right to decide his fate or anything like that. i'm sure mayumi really had good intentions and she really is a kind person, but yeah, right now i can't say she's innocent or that i'm planning to forgive her in season 2.

[fontenotlegacy]

Sims 4 Fontenot Legacy - Weird Vibes

Matilda's day continues as a pretty normal college day. She goes to class, grabs a bite to eat, and hunkers down to get some work done. Dandre hangs out with her while she works on homework. She assumes he's working on some important paper, but he's actually just messing around on some video game. He had finished his work earlier but made an excuse to just hang out with her in the same space. They don't talk much while she works, but the company is appreciated.

And after sitting hunched over a table for hours, Matilda makes sure to loosen her body up with some yoga and a little jog on the treadmill at the student center. It leaves her refreshed and feeling better than she has been. It doesn't fix everything though. Matilda's been especially stressed as the semester draws to a close. Not to mention trying to arrange everything for her rager of a party, already set to happen the next day. Did she have enough drinks? Enough chairs? Things to do? She's not quite over the weird feelings between her and Dandre now either. Sure, he hasn't done anything more to coerce or guilt her, but he hasn't done a whole lot of anything else either. She's lucky he even sat with her while she worked. Something's gnawing at her, and she can't quite pinpoint it...

That thought plagues her as she redresses and heads back to her dorm room. She knows there's nothing she can do about it now. She can only wait and see what happens between them. Maybe this is the beginning of the end. Oh well, she surmises. If it is, it is. At least, that's what she tells herself. At any rate, there's no time to dwell on it. She's back to working and studying late into the night. No rest for the elite.

The next day starts off dreary and rainy. This doesn't help Matilda's mood. A shower will surely help, right? It does until she gets shampoo in her eyes. Ouch. Okay, maybe not quite the start of the last day of classes she was expecting.

When Matilda meets up with Harper and Carlos, they also seem to be bogged down by the poor weather, but not quite as much as Matilda.

Matilda: Are we all stressed about finals?

Harper: My presentation is in two hours and I practiced all night. I'm lucky my concealer can cover the bags under my eyes.

Carlos: And I had a final at 8 am today. Worst time to force someone to scrape someone's brain of all the knowledge they tried to pack into it on no sleep.

Matilda: Think you did decent enough?

Carlos: I'm lucky I remembered my own name. Good thing I did the extra credit. Hopefully, the professor curves the grade a bit.

Harper sighs.

Harper: We're a mess.

Carlos: Well, at least we have a super awesome party to look forward to!

Matilda looks up and sees a familiar face walking into the room.

Matilda: Hold that thought. Dre's coming. Quick, change seats!

Carlos: Why?

Matilda: I don't want to sit next to him.

Harper: I thought you guys were cool.

Matilda: C'mon, just please move?

Harper: Alright, alright, come on Carlos.

So Harper and Carlos move seats as requested, leaving a seat diagonally across from Matilda for Dandre to sit.

Harper: Hey, Dre! Happy last-day-of-classes!

Dandre: Hey guys! Definitely feels like it. The poor weather is bringing the whole vibe down.

Carlos: You too? Man, it's the worst!

Matilda: But like you said, tonight we toss all that aside and let loose! The party of the century! Drinks, dancing, debauchery! The only "Ds" allowed!

Harper: I've got the perfect outfit.

Matilda: So do I. And we've got plenty of time to dance the night away after all our classes.

Dandre: Sounds like everything's nearly set up then.

Matilda: I still have to lay out a few things, but yeah, pretty much!

Harper: I'm definitely ready to dance all night!

Carlos: Will you be saving a dance for Romeo?

Carlos wiggles his eyebrows, which makes Harper roll her eyes playfully.

Harper: Meh, maybe. Depends.

Carlos: On what, exactly?

Harper: On whether I feel like it.

The group laughs in unison.

Dandre: In defense of my roommate, he's actually not a bad dancer.

Matilda: Hope that extends beyond the dance floor.

Matilda wiggles her eyebrows this time. Harper blushes slightly.

Harper: We barely know each other!

Matilda: You don't have to! We talked about this, Harp!

Harper: Ah, I just don't know. Not really my thing.

Dandre: Well regardless, he's actually a pretty cool guy. I think you two would get along if you got to chat more.

Harper: I'll think about it. Maybe we can talk during the party, see how things go. But no promises, especially you, Matilda.

Matilda pouts.

Matilda: You're no fun.

Carlos: Who needs all that anyway. Tonight's about partying how we want, so let's paint the dorm red!

Harper: I second that!

Dandre: Let's do it!

Matilda: Alright. Well, fun's over. I need to get ready for class. See you guys at the dorm.

The rest of Matilda's day before the party is stressful. Some students paid her for some last-minute tutoring for one of her classes, and since she had to spend some money on the party she figured earning a little back would be good. She also takes her final exam and is feeling pretty wrung out by the end of it all. To top it all off, one of her roommates somehow locked herself out of the dorm, so she has to rush back to the dorm. The good thing is that she still needs to put the finishing touches on the space for the party, so going straight back works out for her. The bad part: how the heck did her roommate lock herself out of a dorm that uses a rabbithole elevator. Some sim things you just don't understand, and you don't bother trying 😆. With the stresses of the day complete though, Matilda can focus on the fun ahead! She hopes it'll be all she hoped for and more.

[sdyuteiaok]

Got a neat RW deck to 5 wins--I had two Heroic Reinforcementss, plus the RW Ravnica doublestriker rare and even the landfall equipment and the rare equipment that gives +2/0 and flying and even snaps on, to help the double striker get through. He never dealt a single point of damage, though. He woulda won one of my games thanks to haste from my 2/2, but I was one land shy from being able to equip everything and cast him, pretty annoying. But I had some great games--I just needed some removal, I was just mainly banking on winning outright before my opponent can find his legs, which worked out often enough. I'm not sure if it was a trophy deck, though, since I had almost no removal outside of the 4/4 raid shocker and the rare snap-on equipment, maybe one actual removal spell I'm not thinking of. There was one, that one where my opponent was one attack from dead, where I believe I threw the game when I tried to hit the gas by moving my equipment from my token to my actual threatening guy, which woulda made my opponent dead to just about anything in a follow-up alpha. I shoulda just made the token do slightly less damage but force him to deal with it, which woulda exhausted his removal for my actual threatening guys. But I got antsy and he indeed had the removal once I blew all my mana moving everything over. I had a land for the landfall equipment, so the token woulda dealt 5 damage, which he likely couldn't spare, so he either he takes it and is in a super perilous position, or he wastes precious removal on this token, and then my other guys are ready to deal 8+ next turn, which would almost lock him out, barring another removal spell or flying blocker, which I don't believe he had. He mighta had one more removal spell, but in either case, my third, burly guy woulda closed the deal, but instead, I had to rely on the token, which couldn't hold up against his defenses. I only realized this was the crucial turn--the turn I moved my equipment over--after the game concluded, but I'm pretty sure this is the case. I was pleasantly surprised to find Untapped now has game replays, so I could probably study the tape to be completely sure. Anyway, the format is definitely not electrifying, but I like it just fine--it's, like most core sets, a nice change of pace. It does feel a little sluggish, when we often slog to the topdeck war portion of most games--there's not a whole lot of mana sinks or card draw effects, so it really does feel like an set from another era. I did have now my third total 3/3 Angel that draws when you gain life (got two in yesterday's draft), and I literally played half-on gainlands for her, plus two of the 3/1 Dogs that return permanents--one game I bounced two of my gain lands to draw cards, that's how desperate and hoop-jumping we have to be to draw cards in this format. Anyway, happy with 5 wins, but I feel like I coulda squeezed one more win, if I'd been playing just a little more sharply. The next draft is paid for, so looking forward to hopping back in the queue, which has thankfully been firing almost instantly. I'm old enough to remember these used to take forever, especially with the 8th guy in the queue, but for whatever reason, things are hopping. I'm in Platinum now, though, so I gotta stay on my toes, the easy wins are generally over, and we're consistently playing competent players now. Not to diminish the lower ranks, but it's a lot of people clearly trying out draft--possibly even Magic--for the first time or something like that. Which is great, cuz everyone should try Magic, and it's nice to get some easier wins when drafting is so expensive, but it isn't too satisfying beating them.

[spectres-fulcrum]

I love Chaos Rising so much. I haven't been liveblogging it too much but it was like "no way it's better than Thrawn or Treason" but tbh it's same level. It's a different kind of story but it's still so good. Here's some highlight thoughts.

I will protect Che'ri with my life. She is so precious and hurt and I just want good things for her and seeing her be around people that respect her is everything. I died when she was sobbing because she and Thalias had a fight because Thalias was leaving and she was scared she was going to die thinking Che'ri hated her.

Also, Thalias showing Thrawn Che'ri's drawings and them making sure she had 2(!!!) new sets of markers for their journey and plenty of drawing paper(And Che'ri being annoyed her mom is showing off her art). So quietly domestic in everything going on. Making sure their kid has stuff to do on a long road trip.

I nearly cried during Thrawn teaching Che'ri how to fly and how she realizes it's all an offer. She doesn't have to learn-it's not an order. It's an offer. And it helps with her fears and confidence. She's been abused and Thrawn and Thalias and Ar'alani do so much to reteach her.

Thrawn himself. It's so very much Thrawn, but I can tell he's more... Comfortable. Among the chiss. Before whatever led to his exile/"exile." He smiles more in these books. His narratives don't have him watching others so closely and cataloging their moves. He's so tactile with Thalias, always touching her arm or steering her places. He never touches people in the Empire books, I think. But with her, tactileness seems to be easy. Almost something he seeks out. And his speech just seems more free. Definitely less closed off. More polite too. It's all small things but I can tell he's still Thrawn but this is a much more comfy Thrawn in his own space.

My thoughts on Ar'alani has gone mild(1st read of Treason)->like(2nd read of Treason)->Love(CR). I love her in this book so much. She is such a good commander and giving up her family must've been so hard.

Also my view of Thrawn and Ar'alani is this: If it had ever been mutually romantic, it always would've been so I'm going to assume that if it was ever romantic, it was one sided(Likely Ar'alani because this Thrawn STILL botches emotional moments like the fucking shipping container-Zahn placed them in a shipping container and that man still couldn't respond with the right kind of emotion I swear to god I don't know what's worse that or GDLV because at least Thrawn had excuses for GDLV) and never acted upon to preserve their friendship. Because if they loved, it would've been deep and soulmate level.

wait wait wait what happened to jordan anderson sorry nascar truck driver truck caught on fire he got taken away in medical heliocpter horrible week for nascar they have dropped the ball on safety oh my fucking god he better be okay I swear to god nascar.

Anyway where was I. Thrawnalani. Platonic soulmates. Ride or die. Would follow each other anywhere.

I LOVED the Mitth homestead and Thoorki. Also him choosing both Thrawn and Thalias and him entrusting Thalias with looking after Thrawn against those who want to take him down was so... I don't have the right word yet but important. Regal? I hope nothing happens to him(I know it will but Thoorki is good).

As an audiobook listener I miss Samakro because he sounds like Eli :/ But he's coming around. He respects Thrawn.

Okay my mind crapped out once I realized Jordan Anderson was actually hurt and I need to get ready for work but here's a lot of it.

Che'ri defense squad, Thrawn is comfy, smiley, and tactile, but emotionally level 1, he and Ar'alani are ride and die, I love this cast so much.

[shysneeze]

i solemnly swear i am up to no good (george weasley x reader)

request:  what if one night the golden trio is look at the marauders map that the twins gave Harry and they see the reader and George sneaking around hogwarts and they ask George about it the next day? ~ anon

warnings: yo i don’t even think i swear in this one it’s a miracle, can’t think of anything else but Fred’s dramatics

authors note: this is the best porcastination I have ever tasted (fuck chemistry uno?) anyway, I hope this is what you were looking for anon and thank you for the request <3 

...

It's a carefully constructed routine, one that George has perfected by now. He's worked out that Lee is always the last to fall asleep, and so the coast is always clear when he begins to snore, that he's safe to slip from his covers and creep down the stairs, by which point the common room is always empty and he's free to leave completely undetected.

He knows the corridors to avoid, the ones with the gossiping portraits and regular prefect patrols.  He knows that McGonagall keeps her classroom lit through the night to discourage snooping students and that the ghost will turn a blind eye at most things, unless they're in a particularly bad mood.

He's thought it through perfectly, even if he does say so himself. In fact, he's not had an incident since the first night they met up, when Peeves decided to draw the attention of every sleeping painting in the vicinity, who awoke rather grouchy, and ready to take their complaints straight to Dumbledore until George convinced them he wouldn't let it happen to again.

Now, though, he's sure he's considered everything and he's rather smug with himself when he arrives at the kitchens. (Y/N) smiles at him when he arrives, already perched on one of the counter tops beside two mugs of hot chocolate.

"Still beat ya, Georgie." She grins.

"Right you." He teases. "You have no idea the expedition it is to get here without getting caught."

"Excuses, excus-"

He's kissing her before she can finish, her laughter vibrating against his lips until she recovers from the abruptness of it and is gathering a handful of his jumper and pulling him closer as she does every time.

They've thought of everything to keep it their own, their sacred routine and their special secret. They've eliminated every possible hiccup that could occur, they're sure of it. Everything always goes as plan and their relationship is kept protected in it's own little bubble, the way they like it. 

.

"You're not still obsessing over that map."

The boys by the fireplace jumps at the sound of Hermione's voice, staring wide-eyed as she stands on the bottom of the girl's dorm's staircase with a disappointed frown. Harry clutches the map against his chest, as if it will anyway hide it from her.

"'Mione." Ron exhales. "You gave me a bloody heart attack!"

"What are you doing up?" Harry asks.

"I left my textbook down here." She informs. "You?"

"We're uh, checking to see if Flitwick is still in the hospital wing with the flu." Harry admits shamefully. "So we don't need to the do the homework..."

"Of course you are."

She comes forward with a sigh, dropping into the seat beside them. She can't help but be slightly curious on the matter, even with her already completed homework upstairs. The map is characteristically empty for the time of night, most people's names stationary in their dorms except from the occasional pacing teacher, still up marking, or the prefects on their rounds.

It's what makes the set of footsteps tiptoeing down an empty corridor so noticeable, George Weasley's name so stark on the otherwise empty stretch of enchanted parchment. Hermione frowns at it curiously and points.

"What is George doing?"

"Who knows." Ron shrugs. "Probably just setting up some sort of prank."

 Hermione gives him an unconvinced look and drags her finger up to the Gryffindor tower, halting at the boys dorms, where Fred's name lies still where he is sleeping. Ron takes a minute to catch onto the implication.

"Then why is Fred not there either?"

"Maybe he's gone rogue?" Harry suggests.

"I doubt that."

They return to George as his inky footsteps lead further through the castle, looping through hidden corridors and secret passage ways methodically before arriving at the kitchen, where upon realisation, Hermione lets out a chuckle.

"Oh."

"What?" Ron frowns.

"Look who already in the kitchens." She explains.

"(Y/N) (Y/L/N)." Ron exhales. "What's he meeting up with her for?"

"Think about it, Ronald." Hermione smiles knowingly.

Ron's brows scrunch in confusion, looking expectantly to Harry, who seems to have already clued himself in and is grinning knowingly. Then his eyes begin to widen with realisation and Hermione nods.

"He can't be- with (Y/N)?" Ron gasps. "No..."

"Seems that way." Harry gives an amused smile.

"That smug git." Ron breathes. "I knew he was hiding something!"

Hermione lets out a soft laugh, soon followed by Harry. Thoughts of Flitwick's whereabouts long forgotten at this new information and it's implications. In the kitchens the pair's names have stilled together, oblivious to the secrets they've spilled.

.

George sips slowly at his coffee, willing it to make up for his late night with a burst of energy. Even through his tiredness, he's grinning to himself at the memories of the night before. His eyes search for (Y/N)'s across the room, finding them quickly, well practiced in the art of doing so. She’s nursing a cup of coffee in a similar way, and gives a knowing smile before dropping her gaze with a slight shake of her head.

Across the table, Ron watches the exchange with insider knowledge and scowls at his elder brother, a mixture of perplexed and impressed. Harry nudges him warningly, but wears a knowing sort of smirk that George catches from the corner of his eyes and causes him to grow slightly uneasy from.

"What?" He asks.

"Nothing." Harry assures, coughing out a laugh. "Nothing, George."

"Alright..."

He attempts to return to his breakfast when he hears Ron snigger, rounding back on them with a frown. Hermione lifts her glass to her lips to hide her smile, only adding to George confusion. Fred's picked up on it too now, watching their little brother and his friends curiously.

"What are you lot so smug about?" Fred asks.

"That's what I'd like to know." George agrees with a frown.

George watches as Ron's eyes drift across the room towards same place as his had a moment ago, to (Y/N). George's jaw slackens ever so slightly, alerting Fred to this new development, also glancing over at the girl. (Y/N) isn't blind to this new attention, lifting her eyes to meet theirs and frowning in concern.

"Shut up." George tells Ron sternly. "Don't say anything."

"What?" Fred frowns. "What are you on about, George?"

George fixes Ron with a glare whilst also trying to figure out how he's come to know this information. He's so sure he'd considered everything, yet his brother is grinning at him like he's just won the lottery for best blackmail material possible.

Then, from the corner of Harry's robes, he recognises the aged parchment that he and Fred gave the boy themselves. He finds himself gulping and his cheeks growing warmer by the second as Harry chuckles at him.

"What the hell is going on?" Fred ask sharply, growing agitated at being left out of the loop. "What has (Y/L/N) got to do with it?"

Ron last two seconds before he's blurting it out despite George's pleading look.

"George met up with (Y/N) in the kitchen's last night."

"Merlin..." George groans.

"What!?" Fred bursts loudly. "You what?"

George groans and drops his head into his hands as Fred stares wide-eyed and betrayed. George should have considered the map, the most damning piece of evidence there could be, that no perfect timing and strategic route planning could save them from.

"You absolute git!" Fred exclaims, punching his twins arms. "You've got yourself a girlfriend and didn't tell me!"

"Ah!" George exclaims, sitting up to rub his arm soothingly. "No need for violence!"

"Uh, yeah there is!" Fred argues. "How long has this been going on?"

"I don't know- a few weeks?" George offers.  

"A few week-" Fred gasps. "And Ron knew before me?"

"I didn't exactly plan that." George defends. "Harry's got the bloody map."

"Wow." Fred folds his arms. "You think you know someone."

"Oh come off it, Fred." George groans. "I would've told you eventually."

"Eventually." Fred scoffs. "I'm your brother- your twin! I should have been told the minute it started!"

George runs his finger through his hair with a sigh and gives Fred a sheepish look, although it does nothing to appease his twin's sour look. He's nice enough to feel somewhat guilty for it, even with his brother's dramatics.

"Are you ashamed of your family George?"

That's when George clocks that he's just being a dramatic git. He rolls his eyes at his brother as he starts up with a rant on loyalty and brotherhood, hand on his heart like he's quoting Shakespeare. 

"You'll get over it soon enough." George decides flippantly. "We just liked sneaking around."

"That's possibly the most goddamn boring excuse you could come up with." Fred announces disappointedly. "You just ruined my whole thing- I was hoping for something like she thought you were me the whole time and this was actually a case of identity theft."

"Sorry to disappoint." George smirks with a shrug. "But she thinks I'm the better looking twin."

"She's clearly blind."

"Listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you all." George sighs. "It started as an accident and then we just kind of got used to it."

"Wow, romantic." Fred jokes.

"Shut up." George scoffs. "It's not everyone's idea of a nice date but it's ours and we like it."

Fred smiles quite genuinely at this, the defensiveness in his brother's tone.

"You really like her." He observes. "Huh?"

George's eyes drift unsubtly towards the girl in question, where his smile widens at seeing her with that smile he's so used to feeling on his lips when they kiss. He chuckles to himself before turning back to his brother.

"Yeah, yeah I do."

"Then I'm happy for you." Fred decides, clapping his brother's shoulder. "But ever keep anything like this from me again and your twin status is revoked."

"Noted." George grins. "Oh, and Ron?"

Ron gulps at the change in his brother's tone.

"Yeah?"

"I'd be checking your shoes for spiders for a while mate."

[evierena]

The Brothers eavesdropping to MC accidentally confessing their undying love for them. Part 2

INTRO

MC was having their monthly catch-up call with their best friend in the Human Realm. At first, their friend could not believe the situation MC was living, but after a few calls they had finally come to accept the whole "I was summoned to Hell, but it's called Devildom, and now I have to live with 7 hot demon brothers and they are actually kinda nice" situation (yeah, Levi would be proud of my naming skills). Anyhow, during this specific call MC was filling in their friend with the latest update on their newfound feelings for one of the brothers, not knowing that said brother was actually outside their room, eavesdropping! And then, their friend asks "What is it about him that you love so much?"

What did MC respond? How did that brother react and what did he do with that information? Well, let's see...

Asmodeus

- Impromptu spa night!

- That's what he was thinking when he headed to your room, wanting to test a few new products he just gotten his hands on.

- Of course, he had to stop for a second to fix his already perfect hair before going in your room, and that's how he got to listen to your friend through the phone asking:

- "Why do you love this Asmo guy so much?"

- Asmo's eyes went 👀 and he decided to stay a little longer just outside your door.

- "Well, that's easy. Because he's been so sweet and supportive of me, he always tries to bring a smile to my face, he also knows when to stop his innuendos and respect my physical boundaries. Everyone else just see the Avatar of Lust in him, sometimes I feel like even he just thinks of himself as just lust embodied, but I think he has a lot more to offer than just mind blowing sex. He's more fragile than he lets on, his sassy and mean façade are to cover up his insecurities and his vulnerability. He's the King of Self Care but that doesn't mean he loves himself as much as he proclaims, actually I think that the first is a way to make up for the lack of the latter. However, I see the way he craves non sexual affection, the sweet and soft sides of love that he's been denied for his sin. I see all of that and I think he's still the most beautiful being I've ever laid eyes upon, and I have already met another fallen angels, angels, demons and humans. Also, I've seen the way he can create something beautiful out of scraps, how he can redecorate and sew together clothes, accessories and a lot of other cute little trinkets, his creativity is really impressive and I'm so proud of him. I love Asmodeus like I've never loved anyone else in my life".

- Asmo let himself draw another breath in when he finished listening to your accidental confession.

- You loved him for himself. You saw beyond his mask, and still thought of him as the most beautiful being in your life.

- Asmodeus was crying, relieved and moved. He felt the familiar warm and fuzzy feeling he usually felt when he would catch you staring lovingly at him.

- The fifth born was no fool, he caught you multiple times sighing after him, but he was never sure what you meant. Were you desiring him just as much as he was for you? Was there something more? Would he be ready to accept it if it wasn't? Could he recover from being seen just as Lust by you of all people? He wasn't sure, which is why he hadn't acted on his feelings any more than the usual.

- But now, he had the words he longed to hear from you. He was trembling from happiness, he was ecstatic, he couldn't help himself from bursting into your room, catching you in your comfy pj's, hair pulled back and cellphone in front of your face while your best friend continued talking through the camera, but you were busy staring at the tearful pink haired demon.

- He knelt beside you in your bed, he hold your face toward him, skin products forgotten in the floor, and he started to pepper your face in kisses mumbling in between how much he loved you too, and how happy he was to have met you.

- In conclusion, hearing your thoughts about him eased his worries and encouraged him to finally claim the sweet love he's been craving from you.

Beelzebub

- Sweet hungry boy was in his way to the kitchen, and when he passed by your door, he started craving something other than food, something more like your company, so he decided to ask you if you wanted a late night snack with him.

- Of course, because this is how it works, just as he was going to knock on your door, he heard loud and clear.

- "So, you're saying you fell in love with Beelzebub"

- That wasn't your voice, actually, he remembered it from that time he was in your room watching a movie and you received a call from the human realm, it was your best friend from there, right? Then, what were they talking about?

- "Yes" you replied.

- "But why? Can you explain it to me?"

- Boi, did he forgot all about his cravings, all he wanted to hear was your response.

- "Beelzebub is the prime example of a gentle giant. He is so, so, so gentle with me, except for that one time, but still. I love how calm it is to be with him, how honest he is with his feelings for his brothers or in general, he isn't afraid to say he loves them, specially Belphie. I love how easily he welcomed me into his family, I love the way he earnestly tries to control his stomach, I'm saddened thinking that his sin consumes so much of him, but I'm amazed that even like that, he still has so many different thoughts and feelings aside from food and hunger. He is so soft and he works hard, he doesn't talk much but what he says, he means it completely, he protects me from everyone even himself. I'm completely smitten for him, honestly, if he asked me, I would let him eat me alive, but at the same time I know he would never hurt me. His presence has helped me go through so much. When I'm stressed he's always there to let me vent or to reassure me that I can keep going, to offer me his precious snacks when I'm tired, and his hugs when I'm feeling down. I... I love Beel."

- An unaware ear to ear smile was present in the orange haired demon, his heart and stomach agreeing that what he needed now was to hold your human form in his arms and treasure you for the rest of his immortal life.

- What was the best way to convey his feelings to you? He didn't want to upset you by admitting he had eavesdropped in your private conversation with your friend, but he wanted, craved and needed to express his own feelings.

- Of course, food and cuddles.

- So he continued to head toward the kitchen and he began to gather your favorite snacks, well, what he could gather given that the kitchen rather lacked all your human preferences but he managed somehow.

- And then, he went straight to your door, this time knocking before he heard anything else.

- When you opened and saw the huge and adorable demon, holding food and with an excitement you couldn't quite understand in his purpleish eyes, you let him right in.

- Your phone call was finished and so, Beel sat down in your bed and offer you the snacks.

- When you asked why he simply said "Because I love you"

- Damn this beautiful, smooth, adorable giant. Now you were blushing and your brain scrambled trying to find an answer for such a sudden confession.

- After that initial shock, you also responded to him with your own feelings, and he began to explain that both his heart and his hunger, although never truly satisfied, were now fuller thanks to you and your presence in his life. And that is as much of a romantic confession you'll get, because for him, that is honestly how he feels and he hopes you understand what he truly means.

- Of course you do, and you're about to cry because omg your crush just confessed to you.

- Then he gives you the snacks, and he said he was sorry for not being sorry for eavesdropping on you earlier.

- What can I say? You said you loved his honesty.

- In conclusion, Beel is more satisfied now that he listened to your confession, and is even more now that he also confessed. Now you both get to be full and satisfied with each other.

Belphegor

- In his defense, he technically wasn't eavesdropping, it was your fault for not realizing that he was also in the attic, under the covers in one recondite corner, half asleep.

- So, you were talking with your bestie, and your laughs and antics while updating them on your life, woke him up completely, but he was having fun listening to the way you retell your adventures with him and his brothers.

- And then, your friend asked: "Soo, MC, have you finally confessed to sleepy boi?"

- Well, well, what do we have here? Thought Belphie, even more invested in your conversation now that it had took a turn to his liking.

- "Of course not! These days I have been so conscious about him I can't look at him much less be alone with him to even think of confessing"

- Oh, so that's why it seemed like you were avoiding him.

- Honestly, Belphie thought you had finally come to your senses and realize you shouldn't involve yourself with him for your own good. He was hurt, it hurt him more than he was willing to admit, and he had isolated himself to also avoid you, so it wouldn't hurt as much. That was the reason he was in the attic that night.

- "Anyway, MC, just let me ask one more time, why is it that you love Belphegor so much?"

- He heard the hitch in your breath, he heard you inhale and exhale deeply, but he himself stopped breathing at all, an he stayed still trying to attract the least attention to himself in the corner. He felt a light blush paint his cheeks, sweat forming in his forehead.

- "Well, even though we started off badly, he has repent himself, he is still trying to earn my forgiveness, it doesn't matter how many times I tell him I already did. He understands me, he gives me a safe space to just sleep and let go of my stress, he listens when I want to vent, and I honestly find his humor hilarious and relatable. He is a bit bratty but I find it so cute. And he is hurting so deeply, he has been for so many years, so beyond our existence and just now he is starting to open up, to let go, and heal, it's just beautiful. Belphegor is so simply beautiful, his soft smile, his lazy eyes, his crazy bedhair, his low and raspy voice. I love everything about him, and I will give all that I own to know more, to see more, to be there when he realizes his own worth"

- The youngest brother was blushing, and his heart was beating fast and loud in his chest, he felt a warmth spread through his veins he had missed during the last days without you.

- Belphegor knew right there, he was done for, it wouldn't matter whatever happened, it wouldn't matter what anyone said, he was going to love you for all eternity, and he would spend every second he could with you, treassuring you and loving you.

- Starting now.

- Belphie got up from his spot in the corner, startling you, he gathered his blankets and pillows and brought them to you, ignoring the fact that you were a panicking, blushing, stuttering mess.

- "Belphie... I was... It's just... It isn't... I-I" he put a finger in your lips, effectively shutting you up, he took your phone, and pressed it against his ear.

- "It's bedtime, so excuse us" and hung up.

- His heterochromatic eyes never leaving your e/c ones, his finger still pressed against your mouth, pillows and blankets surrounding both of you, his scent flooding your senses.

- You saw a smile pulling his lips up, his eyes admiring you with such soft love. His hand moved to cup your face, and he brought you in for a small kiss.

- And then he fall in the sea of fluffly warm beneath him, dragging you along, and he made sure to find the most comfortable position for both, one that allowed him to hold you and the he whispered.

- "I love you too, dummy"

- In conclusion, when Belphegor accidentally finds out about your feelings for him; he basks in the most sweet and peaceful dream he's ever had, with you right in his arms.

I struggled for months to write Belphie's part, but I finally did it & I quite like it.

Again, if you find any mistake, please, kindly point it out for me, so I can get better.

Thank you for reading and have a great day/night!

Atte. Evie

Edit: Here’s Part 1

Tag list:

@katsukis-sad-angel

@anonymous-hq

@dawn-808

@monsoloooo

[genericpuff]

pals, holy sweet mother of-

i was NOT expecting my asks to explode this last week after turning on anon asks

but i guess no one 'expects' explosions otherwise they wouldn't be as effective LMAO

so this is gonna be a general PSA/update to how I'm gonna be doing asks from here on out

my asks are currently a combination of LO crit, questions about Rekindled, and questions about art in general

I said a while back that I would try to start stepping away from LO crit because it just doesn't feel right to me anymore to continue discussing or giving attention to a comic that's flat out morally bankrupt. I stand by that original statement but I've been bad at actually, y'know, putting it into action LMAO Part of it is because 1.) picking apart LO is still very fun, and 2.) it's hard to talk about Rekindled without talking about LO because Rekindled was obviously built on the criticism and disappointment I've had for LO over this past year. If LO wasn't on fire right now, I wouldn't have any kindling to fuel the production of Rekindled.

That being said, as a general PSA, I also don't want people to take my opinion as some kind of Bible. Obviously a lot of people come to my blog because they share similar opinions and enjoy seeing my own takes on them and that's fine, but if you're someone who hasn't read the comic, while I'm spiteful enough to not want to see LO continue to gain attention, I still implore everyone to do their own due diligence and read the comic to come to their own conclusion and opinions, whether or not they happen to match up with my own. Because yes, sometimes even my own takes can be unfounded or easily refuted, and I don't want to be encouraging hivemind behavior from the crit side of the community either. I'll always encourage y'all to come to your own conclusions about the comic and argue my own takes if you wish, just be ready to bring proper defenses and an open mind because I don't tolerate sealioning.

SO!

Going forward, for the sake of my own sanity and fingertips, I'll be mostly prioritizing the following kinds of asks for public responses on my blog:

Questions/discussion about Rekindled

LO-related criticisms IF it's something new or interesting that hasn't been discussed before (because at this point I'm starting to repeat points that I've already made tons of times before or have been made by others that are easy to find through the hashtags or through archives)

Art-related stuff that's got a specific goal in mind. I have a few asks in my inbox right now that are along the lines of "how do you get better at art" and I can't feasibly answer that question in one blog post because that's like asking how one learns quantum mechanics. There are just too many facets of art to go over that I can't reasonably cover, and I'm one person, there are plenty of tutorials, lessons, and communities online that can give you way more varied resources besides just my own singular experience. So if you want to ask art questions, be specific, like if you want to know about shape language or how to do specific digital art tricks or something, that's fine. Just no general "how do I draw" type questions because straight up, learning how to draw is a long-term commitment and can't be covered in a single blog post LMAO

However, I don't like leaving questions unanswered for people either (many of you take much of your own time to send me these massive essays comparable to my own and I'd hate for it to feel wasted) so when it comes to questions that I do want to respond to but not pile up in my blog, I'll simply answer them privately from here on out. It just might take me a bit longer to get back to them so please be patient <3

[cocastyle]

Robin — TWO

Pairing - Joel Dawson x reader

Word Count - 4,476

A/N - new update for Robin!! yay!! this series as been so much fun writing so far and I’m overwhelmed by the unexpected love for this series so far! I hope you all continue to enjoy it as much as I! I have a lot in store for our very own Batman and Robin duo :))

if you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

R O B I N

Robin Series Masterlist

⭒❃.✮:▹  TWO   ◃:✮.❃⭒

Dear Aimee,

This week has been especially shitty.

We lost Connor to what looked like a really big ant. It helps me to draw them. I try to capture their essence, scribble down some notes on how to kill them.

Turns out Robin's katanas can pretty much solve anything. Although, I'm pretty sure it's just because Robin's the one wielding them.

Sometimes I think drawing them is the only way I know how to cope with these things. That and having Y/N. She helps me a lot more than I give her credit for.

I owe her my life.

We've lost a lot of people over the years. You'd think you'd get numb to it after a certain point.

You don't.

- - -

Y/N walked through the hallway with a small skip in her step. Despite everything that had happened in the past week, she still managed to feel happy just at the thought of being with her best friend. With her activities for the morning already done, she was determined to spend some time with Joel who she knew was still a bit down on himself about what had happened during the breach.

She had set up the target in the room where Gertie and Mav1s were, knowing that the boy had been begging her to teach him how to shoot for a while now. She had about a half an hour before she had to be back with the hunting squad, so she was hurrying to get to Joel so that they could have more time working with the crossbow.

She was almost to his room when she heard his voice echoing down the hall. Furrowing her eyebrows, she picked up her speed and went pass his bedroom until she was at the radio room. She poked her head inside, her eyes landing on the boy who sat at the desk with the radio turned on.

"This is 7045. Come in, 3022. I repeat, come in, 3022. Over," Joel said, his eyes flickering over the map in front of him where he had 'X's marked everywhere except for the circle around their bunker and 3022.

"This is 3022. What is it now, Ray?" a voice replied over the radio making Joel sit up a bit more.

"Hey, Janice. No, it's actually. . .It's, uh, Joel," he told her making Y/N smile softly as she watched the boy.

There was a long moment of silence before the woman chuckled, "Oh. Joel."

"Yeah," he replied, smiling slightly.

"All right. Hold on one second," Janice said. "Aimee, it's Ray!"

Y/N’s smile faltered at that, muttering softly to herself, "Aimee, of course."

"Joel," the boy corrected with a small sigh into the radio. "Thanks, Janice."

"Joel! Hey!" a new voice said, instantly making the boy perk up as a big grin took over his features.

"Hey, Aimee! Hi!" Joel exclaimed. "How are you?"

"Hi. Yeah. I, uh. . .I'm good," Aimee told him.

"It's so good to hear your voice," Joel admitted, relaxing a bit at finally being able to hear her voice once again.

Y/N watched him for a moment longer before smiling sadly and turning to walk away. She knew how much getting to talk to Aimee meant to him, so she wasn't about to interrupt him with something he honestly probably didn't care to do. Besides, she wanted to give him some privacy to talk to the girl he was in love with. After all, that's what she would've wanted if it were her having to talk to Joel over the radio.

The girl walked aimlessly down the hallway, lost in her own thoughts about Joel before she was snapped back to attention when a voice softly called out, "Y/N, are you alright?"

She came to a stop, her head lifting up to notice Kala standing in front of the memorial they had for all the lost colony members. The girl's eyes were on her, concern evident despite the sadness in her eyes.

Y/N gave her a forced smile and said, "I'm fine, Kala."

Kala just stared at her before giving her a sad smile and whispering, "Joel's talking with Aimee again, isn't he?"

Y/N looked away at that, swallowing thickly before asking, "How. . .how are you?"

Kala went quiet and glanced down at the hat in her hands that had belonged to Connor. When she continued to not respond, Y/N walked across the room and pulled the girl in for a hug. Kala melted into her embrace, her body shaking a bit as she softly cried.

"I know," Y/N whispered, holding onto the girl tightly in hopes she would realize she was no alone. "Connor. . ." She trailed off as she felt her own sadness bubbling into her throat. After all, Connor and her had been close. He was a part of the hunting team with her. He had been like brother to her and she had lost him. "He was a great person and he loved you so much. He died protecting you."

Kala sniffled and nodded her head. "I know," she said, her voice cracking a bit.

The sound of footsteps approaching pulled the two apart and they turned to see Joel walking in. He plopped down on a seat beside one of the tables, a numb and upset look on his face that made Y/N’s heart break.

"I'm going to go put Connor's hat up," Kala muttered, her hand gently squeezing Y/N’s arm in order to pull the girl's attention back to her. "Thank you."

Y/N nodded and Kala gave her a small smile before walking back over to the memorial while Y/N walked over to Joel. She sat down in the seat beside him, the boy instantly looking her way while she offered him a small smile.

"Hey," she whispered. "How are you?" Joel looked away at that and Y/N sighed, "Joel, you need to put the breach thing behind you, okay? No one was expecting it, so you can’t blame yourself for being scared."

"But you're not scared," Joel retorted, his head still hung low.

"Are you kidding me? I'm always scared," Y/N told him, her words making him look up at her. "It's my fear that keeps me going.It's my fear that pushes me through whatever challenges may come my way."

Y/N didn't go into the fact that her fear was never truly about herself. Her fear had always and would always be for Joel's life. For if she died, then that meant Joel could die simply because she wouldn't be there to protect her. And that's what scared her more than anything in the world.

The thought of Joel dying.

So in her mind, she survived for him. She survived so that Joel would survive.

The boy was looking at her, still not saying anything. Sighing, the girl reached out and placed a hand on top of his own. She gave him a reassuring smile before saying, "Even Batman was afraid every once in a while, Joel. That's what makes him human."

Joel smiled a little at that, squeezing her hand and rubbing his thumb over the top of her skin while Y/N smiled back.

She let go of his hand and leaned back in her chair, propping her feet up on the table as she looked to the boy. "How's Aimee?" she asked.

Joel looked at her in surprise, not sure how she could've known he was talking to the girl, before saying, "I think she's fine. We. . .we didn't get to talk much before the radio cut off."

Y/N frowned, "I'm sorry, Joel."

Joel smiled weakly and looked down at the table before whispering, "I just miss her."

Y/N felt her heart ache at the sight of him and she quickly dropped her feet to the ground before wrapping an arm around his shoulders and leaning her head against him. "I know," she whispered softly, ignoring the way her heart slightly broke knowing that even after seven years of not seeing her, Joel still loved Aimee.

Y/N had gone through seven years of watching him pine after a girl who barely even seemed to understand what she had when he was her boyfriend. Yet she still stuck by his side even though she found herself falling in love with him even more with each second that passed.

Joel let out a soft sigh and leaned his head against her own, relishing in the comfort of his best friend while his heart ached for the girl he loved.

Still oblivious to the fact that the girl holding onto him loved him more than Aimee ever could.

- - -

"I wanna know how it got in," Karen demanded, frowning from where she sat down at the table. The whole colony was there, the discussion about how the monster had gotten in finally being brought up after giving everyone enough time to mourn.

Y/N was watching Joel, her eyes flickering over the boy who sat on the opposite end of the table with his gaze on the table and a numb look upon his face. Frowning, she pulled her gaze away and looked to Karen. "You sure about that?" Y/N asked. "Sometimes it's better not knowing."

Karen was hesitant, knowing that what the girl said was true. After all, the hunting team didn't always tell them what went on unless everyone agreed on it. It was better for some people to have to worry about certain things over others. When she gave a small nod in response, Y/N looked to Tim and gestured for him to go ahead.

With Connor gone, Y/N was one of the designated leaders at the moment. She had a bit of a reputation in the colony anyways, having worked her way to top hunter on their squad within a matter of weeks. So Tim didn't hesitate to comply to her orders, looking around at the others as he explained, "It appears to have ripped through one of our perimeter defenses."

"What, it ripped through steel?" Anna Lucia asked, having not known that bit of information.

"Y/N, Anderson, and I resealed the breach point and the vent. Nothing's getting in that way again," Tim assured them.

"And if they do, we'll be ready. I set up triggers around possible breach points to help alert us when something's attempting to get in. Next time one tries to strike, the team and I will be out there ready to take it down," Y/N said.

"But why did it happen?" Karen asked.

"It was a freak occurrence," Ray told her. "There's no reason to think it'll happen again."

"Ray's right. We only took precautions just to be safe," Y/N spoke up. "We should try to stay calm. There's no use worrying—"

"How far away is Aimee's colony?" Joel spoke up, his voice making them all go silent while the boy looked over at them.

"What?" Tim asked.

"Aimee's colony," Joel repeated, ignoring the fact that everyone's eyes were now on him including Y/N who looked like she didn't understand what was happening. "How far away is it?"

"About eighty five miles," Ray answered.

"How long does that take to get there?" Joel questioned. Y/N sat up a bit, her feet that she had propped up on the table falling to the ground as she stared at her best friend.

"Joel, you're not actually thinking of going?" Tim said confused.

"Tim, just. . .humor me," Joel pleaded. "How long?"

"Seven days," Y/N spoke up, causing the boy to look her way. She was watching him, her eyes flickering over his face while she had a completely blank look upon her face. It was enough to make Joel still, for he had never seen her act that way, but he was too focused on her words to speak up about it. "Minimum."

"An armed and trained hunting party would be lucky to last fifty miles on the surface," Anna Lucia said, the others all looking at each other and mumbling in agreement while Joel looked off in thought and Y/N continued to study him with narrowed eyes. "But you, Joel. . ."

"All right," Tim spoke up, noticing the way Y/N had obviously gotten distracted by what her best friend was saying. "Now I need volunteers to help reinforce some of the outer perimeter."

Everyone began to speak up, agreeing to help out, but Joel spoke out again, his voice making everyone freeze as he said, "I'm gonna go."

Everyone was dead silent as they looked to him, Y/N’s face growing a bit pale while Joel ignored her gaze. "It's an impossible journey, Joel," Tim told him.

Joel shook his head and stood up. "No, I'm serious," he said. "I love you guys, but Aimee is one of the only people in this world who ever truly made me happy, and she's only eighty five miles away. And I'm gonna go see her." He let out a breath he had been holding before smiling slightly. "That felt awesome." He then turned and walked out of the room, leaving everyone staring after him.

All eyes turned to Y/N who was staring at the place Joel had just been with tears in her eyes. All she could hear were Joel's words playing over and over in her head.

Aimee is one of the only people in this world who ever truly made me happy.

Aimee is one of the only people in this world who ever truly made me happy.

It took her a moment, but Y/N was up and out of her seat without a second thought. She ran out of the room, leaving the others to sigh and exchange a look for they knew Joel's words had hit her harder than he meant to let them.

By the time she reached Joel's room, her tears were long gone and her mind was already made up. She appeared in the doorway, her eyes instantly locking on Joel who was shoving his few belongings into his backpack. He glanced up at her, his eyes hesitating on her form for a moment before he looked back down.

"I have to go, Robin. I can't stay here anymore and just wait for something to happen. I'm done waiting," he told her, shoving his journal and pencils into his backpack as he did so.

"I know," Y/N replied. "You have to do this. You should go." Joel looked up to her at that, his face displaying a look of shock for a small second. She smiled softly at him before walking towards him and saying, "But I'm coming too."

"You're. . .you're what?" Joel asked in surprise, his eyes flickering over her face as she came to stop in front of him.

"Joel, you're the only person who makes me happy," she began, her words making his heart skip a beat which he quickly pushed aside as nothing. "I can't let you just leave without me."

Joel was reminded of what he said earlier and his face softened as he reached out and cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. "You know I didn't mean that you don't make me happy, right?" he eyes searching her own to make sure she understood what he was saying. "Cause you do, Robin. You're the one that keeps me going every day."

He let go of her and turned to his backpack which he zipped up, missing the way Y/N’s face heated up for a second due to his words and display of affection. She quickly pushed her feelings aside, knowing Joel always had been an affectionate person. It was just how their friendship worked.

"But I have to go see Aimee," Joel continued, letting his gaze fall back upon his best friend. "And I can't just make you come with."

"You're not making me do anything," Y/N assured him. "I'm coming. We stick together through everything, remember?" She took a step forward before holding her hand out to the boy. "Batman and Robin, right?"

Joel hesitated as he looked to her, a smile slowly making its way onto his face while he felt his heart swell with an emotion that he pushed aside as nothing else but relief in getting to keep her by his side.

"Batman and Robin," he agreed, clasping his hand in her own while they exchanged small smiles.

Y/N gave him a short nod before taking a step back which caused Joel to frown because it suddenly felt like he was missing a warmth he hadn't known had been there when she was right in front of him.

"I'm going to go grab my things," Y/N said. "I'll meet you by the exit." And with that, she ran out of the room, leaving Joel to stare after her. He was a bit confused as to what he had just felt, but didn't think much of it as he turned back to his bag and smiled.

"I'm coming, Aimee," he whispered, thoughts of reuniting with the love of his life running through his head.

- - -

Dear Aimee,

I am done hiding. I am done waiting for things to get better.

It's time to take matters into my own hands. Time to let someone else make the minestrone.

I'm taking a radio, even though it doesn't have power. But I'm gonna take it anyway.

Robin's coming with me. She's just the best, you know?

I didn't want to admit it, but the thought of leaving her behind had scared me. Knowing she'll be there with me every step of the way, it provides me a sort of comfort that I can't even begin to describe.

I can do anything if I have her with me. Walking eighty five miles through a monster infested world will be a piece of cake.

- - -

When Y/N was done packing, she went off to find the rest of the colony, knowing she would have to explain to them that she was going with Joel even if they might not want her to. Muttering rehearsed lines to herself, Y/N walked into the main room where the colony was all huddled around a map and writing things down.

"Guys," Y/N began, letting out a shaky breath. "I'm—"

However, she didn't get a chance to finish before she was being tackled in a hug by Kala. Y/N fell into a stunned silence, hesitantly hugging the girl back in confusion before Kala pulled away to look at her.

"You're going with him," Kala stated. "We know." Y/N blinked in surprise before looking around at the others who all just nodded softly despite the sad smiles on their faces. The girl looked back to Kala who just smiled softly. "It's okay, Y/N. We knew you would."

"I didn't want to do this to you guys," Y/N admitted. "I know we just lost Connor and losing another person on the hunting team isn't ideal, but I have to go with him. He's my best friend."

They all nodded in understanding before Tim reached out to clap a hand on her shoulder. "You don't need to explain to us, Y/N," he told her. "We get it. Just know that we'll be waiting for you two when you get back."

Y/N smiled softly at that, falling into Tim's embrace while everyone smiled at the exchange. "So," Y/N began as she pulled away from the man, "what are you guys doing?"

"Attempting to make a map for the two of you. Well. . .mostly for Joel in case he somehow gets lost," Anna Lucia said making Y/N chuckle softly before she walked over to the table.

She smiled softly at the sight of all the notes on the front before noticing that there seemed to be something on the back. She flipped the paper over, her smile growing even more at the notes the crew had all written on the back for the boy.

"We were going to make one for you too," Kala spoke up. "But I think Joel needs more of a reminder of how much we love him than you do. I have a feeling you already know that."

Y/N smiled and looked up at the people who had become her family. "I know," she whispered making them all smile before she looked down at the paper snd grabbed ahold of one of the pens. She scribbled down a small note on the back to go along with the others before Karen folded the map up.

It was when she was almost finished folding it that they heard Ray call out, "He's not joking."

They all walked out of the room at that, Y/N catching sight of Joel making his way over towards them with his backpack on and two crossbows and her katanas in hand. His eyes locked with hers and he smiled before holding out her weapons. "I think you may have forgotten something," he mused making the girl roll her eyes.

"Thanks, Joel," she said before grabbing the katanas and strapping them into her back and under her backpack. She then took the crossbow and the two turned to head towards the ladder that led to up above when Tim stepped in their way.

"We're not letting you two leave. You're needed here," Tim told them, even though Y/N knew that he understood he wasn't going to be able to stop them.

"Tim, Y/N may be, but I'm not. Come on. I don't do anything," Joel said.

"Joel, that's not true. You fix the radio. You make the minestrone," Tim stopped after that and winced slightly at his own words. "Okay. Doesn't sound as important when I say it out loud."

"I appreciate you trying," Joel assured him. "Really, I do. I just don't feel like I belong anywhere. I don't really wanna die all alone at the end of the world, so. . ."

Tim stared at the boy for a moment, his eyes flickering over to Y/N who gently shook her head at him to let him know he shouldn't say anything about her feelings for the boy. Tim sighed and turned away, allowing the two to walk by.

Joel moved forward, but paused before looking back at the others. "Look, I know you guys all just think of me as, like, some little, pathetic, adorable hedgehog. But I can take care of myself. I'm actually probably a lot stronger than you might think," he told them.

Y/N smiled softly at the boy's words, knowing how badly he wanted to prove to them all that he could do this. She placed a hand on his arm and Joel looked her way, smiling as she squeezed his arm before looking to the others. "We'll take care of each other," she assured them. "We've survived seven years. We can survive seven days."

The colony didn't say anything until finally Karen stepped forward and held the map out to Joel. "We made you a map," Karen told him.

"Thanks, Karen," Joel whispered before the girl reached up to hug him. Joel hugged her back and Karen pulled away with a sad smile before going over to Y/N and hugging her as well.

"Just. . .take care," Karen whispered before she pulled away and backed up to join the others. Y/N stared out at the people who had become her family, her eyes tearing up a bit as she knew that there was a possibility she would never see them again.

She felt a hand latch onto her own and Y/N looked to her left to see Joel giving her a reassuring smile as his fingers intertwined with her own. Y/N gave him a shaky smile in return while Joel rubbed his thumb across the skin on top of her hand.

"Everything will try to kill you," Ray told them.

"Oh," Joel muttered, making a small face which made Y/N chuckle softly.

"Be observant. Use the advantages that you have. You're fast and small and Y/N is one of our best hunters, so, Joel, don't fight. Just run and hide. Y/N, you should do that too, but if you need to, use those katanas and crossbow like your life depends on it cause it does," Ray said.

"Don't fight," Joel repeated, making another face before looking to Y/N. "So Robin fights, but Batman doesn't?" he whispered to her. She just smiled shyly at him.

Ray reached out and pulled the two into a hug, Joel and Y/N hugging him back while their intertwined hands still stayed by their side.

"You're both assholes if you get eaten," Ray told them.

Y/N smiled at that before saying, "And you all are douchebags if you don't answer our call when we get there."

The group all chuckled while Joel went to hook his crossbow to his backpack. Everyone fell silent as they watched him, their smiled falling as he struggled to simply latch the crossbow to his back. Y/N sighed and brought her free hand up to facepalm herself while Joel just awkwardly laughed and tried to latch the crossbow one more time.

This time it latched into place and he smiled before saying, "Okay."

"Nice," Ava muttered.

Joel ignored her comment and squeezed Y/N’s hand before turning to climb up the ladder. "I love you guys. Tell Aimee I'll see her in seven days," he said before climbing up the ladder.

"We believe in you," Karen called after him.

"Love you, buddy," Tim said.

Y/N walked over to the ladder before hesitating at the bottom. She glanced back at the colony, her eyes flickering over each of them. Karen and Kala were softly crying as they hugged each other, the others all looking at her sadly before Tim just gave her a small nod.

"Take care of him," Tim said before hesitating. "And yourself."

"I will," Y/N whispered, smiling at the group one last time. "I love you guys."

"Love you too," they all chorused as she began to climb up the ladder like Joel had. The latch was already open by the time she reached the top and she was blinded by the sunlight until Joel moved himself above the hole and looked down at her.

"You sure about this?" he asked, his eyes flickering over her face for any signs of hesitation.

Y/N smiled softly, "I'm sure."

Joel smiled at that before holding his hand out, the girl looking to it for a moment as she realized just what it is they were doing. Was she really about to help the boy she loved reunite with the girl he was in love with? It was crazy. She knew that. Yet seeing that smile on Joel's face and knowing that this was what he wanted, what he needed, to be happy was enough for her to know this was the right thing to do.

Then, without another second thinking about it, Y/N took ahold of the boy's hand and he pulled her into the world above.

- - -

Tag List

@simplybarnes

@spideysimpossiblegirl

@bookdorkfangirl

@katemusic

@eternallyvenus

@juliebean247

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@blahhhhhhhaaa

@used-avocado

@havingagooddream

@blogforhoes

[thepoodlepack]

What's wrong with goldenpoodles? I'm genuinely curious because almost all of my dogs are mixed breeds and behave fine. So I'm curious if there's something else I'm missing

jeez this feels like bait but u kno what, you got me

alright, so it goes like this. the doodle really began with a guy in australia being like i need the temperament of a lab for a guide dog but these ppl are allergic to dogs, so i need a poodle bc they have hair, not fur. so he bred em together. years later he’s like damn that was a mistake.

now, why, exactly? alright so first of all he only needed that mix bc labs on average tend to adapt better to situations that are largely exclusive to service dog work than poodles do. i can go into what this means at a later date, but that’s basically how it is. but either way, people jumped on this creation and it kinda spiraled out of control. soon, poodles were being bred by everyone and every breed. suddenly, they were a marketing scam more then they were a dog breed.

oh theyre hypoallergenic! all of them, all the time cause zero allergies! look theyre so much better than poodles! theyre friendly and easy to train, not like poodles of course, just like labs! they’re better than labs bc none of them shed, ever! they’re super healthy bc breeding labs and poodles together wipes out all their health problems, of course!

lies, lies lies. the aussie guy, whose name i’m not going to look up bc i’m lazy but who you can find if you google creator of doodles, straight up says that even the first litter(s) of labradoodles he bred had puppies that the people he bred them for were allergic to. he very carefully tested the litter and the reaction the person had before placing a puppy that was not going to hurt them.

think of the punnet squares we all learned about in 5th grade science class. you draw the squares and one parent has two fur genes and the other parent has two hair genes and what do you get? well if you have four puppies, one might have hairhair and the next one might have hairfur and the next one might have furhair and the next one might have furfur. and so guess what? only hairhair pup is going to be the best choice for allergic people. additionally, you can see why the non-shedding thing can be bullshit, and that in particular is also a guessing game. you may be able to test allergy sufferers against the pups, but that does not necessarily mean they won’t shed. hairfur, for example, may be a good choice for some allergic people, but perhaps they’ve got just enough fur to shed anyway. also, lets look at salukis (and frankly, most long-haired sighthounds). salukis are still considered dogs with fur, not hair. they also still shed, even though it’s just a little. and yet they’re still considered good for allergy sufferers.

(ps poodles do actually shed. but they shed like humans shed. your hair comes out, doesn’t it? like, esp folks with long hair, aren’t people always complaining how you clog the shower drain? yeah, like that. ALSO obviously the situation is more complicated then super simple punnet squares and as an ex-groomer i have something to say about doodle coats but i’m going to save that for later, put a pin in it.)

oh and wait a hot minute there. i said best choice, didn’t i, not hypoallergenic. well, that’s because no dog is hypoallergenic. poodles, and a few other dog breeds, they have hair, like we do. but the thing is both humans and breeds with hair still produce the dander, though they’re different kinds. breeds with hair happen to produce the least amount possible that dogs can produce, which is why they’re a better choice for allergy sufferers, but that’s still not a guarantee. my roommate Dakota is allergic to dogs. if i don’t wash my dogs for an extended period of time (which has never happened, ever, in my life, idk what ur talking about), thus giving the chance for the dander my dogs still produce, he will have a very, very mild reaction when touching them. it can be countered by him washing his hands after touching them and also me just giving them a fucking bath, i need to stop forgetting, but still, there you go. ALSO people might not be allergic to dogs bc of their dander. they might be allergic to the saliva of dogs, which poodles or any other breed with hair still produces about the same as other dogs. so, yeah, not hypoallergenic, not at all.

the people who taut their hypoallergenic dogs for sale largely don’t do the testing required to check if they’re actually providing a dog to someone who won’t react to it. not acceptable at all.

so, labs are friendly and easy to train right? not at all like poodles, right? no. absolutely incorrect. some labs are friendly and easy to train. some labs, a lot of them when they’re puppies, are nightmare fuel. personally, i have a theory that everyone’s vision of labs in their heads are either a) service dogs or b) those old labs who are slightly pudgy (or morbidly obsess, which is a different topic) and who are graying in the face and just want to lounge around because they’re seniors now. alright, so here’s why thats bad. labs are a working breed. a retrieving breed. they’re supposed to be bulky and strong and driven. service dogs are highly trained, to a point that most pet dogs will never see, and if you see them with their actual disabled handler, they’ll probably be around 2.5 yrs of age and out of their most wild days. old labs are well. old. sleepy. maybe a bit achey. and well out of their most wild days. oh, and it’s the same type of thing with goldens by the way, the other most popular doodle type. poodles are also easy to train, especially if their parents have a decent temperament. they’re all about equal if you actually start training them when they’re puppies and just pay for some training classes, like everyone should. in the puppy classes i’m in right now, Euphoria is leaps and bounds ahead of doodles, goldens, and labs that are her age or older. I train her properly and she’s got amazing parents. that’s it, that’s the trick. not breed, not necessarily, and def not in this case.

I am once again going to say that labs and goldens are more often used as service dogs than poodles because of their adaptability, but it’s the ability to adapt to situations that most pet dogs will never have to worry about.

jeez this is a long post. i’ve still got more to cover too. alright, on to super healthy, or “hybrid vigor” as the nerds call it. uhh, it’s bullshit. thank u for ur time.

okay, but actually why on gods green earth would breeding two completely different breeds with little to no research make them super healthy? now i want to preface this with i’m (generally) pro-outcross projects. Euphoria’s dad is half mini poodle and half standard poodle, which isn’t technically an outcross bc all the variations are of the same breed, but if we’re going by genetic diversity alone minis and standards are different enough to actually be different breeds.

so, to be clear, outcrosses, given the proper thought and planning: good, results in healthier dogs (see: lua dals). randomly breeding two very different breeds together with no planning other than to sell the puppies to randos who won’t continue the outcross: bad. especially when you’re doing it to cash in and don’t health test at all, or don’t health test the major health problems with both breeds (if you’re doing an f2 breeding or anything like that). no the poodle’s health problems don’t get canceled out by the goldens or labs or whatever the other party’s health problems are, and vice versa. and yeah, i’ve looked at a lot of doodle breeder’s websites and yeah, most of them don’t health test at all, or at least don’t health test properly. do you know i own one doodle and currently live with another? yeah, i got them both from breeders and do you know how much health testing their parents got? if your answer is none, good job, you’ve been paying attention. in my defense, i was like 13, i didn’t know what i was doing.

alright, so those are the big points. this is kinda gonna be just... a mix of my other complaints. here we go, hope you’re ready for more. argument the first: i feel like it’s pretty disrespectful to reputable breeders. now, i actually have two reasons why that is. reason one: most reputable poodle breeders don’t want their breeding stock bred with other breeds, for various reasons. i’ve even met a few who used to be okay with it and then as the doodle scam got bigger and more out of control, they stopped being okay with it, even to the breeders who they had been fine with it in the past. that means a lot of doodle breeders out there have their breeding stock because they scammed poodle breeders into giving them pet quality, not breeding quality, dogs or because they’re getting their stock from non-reputable breeders. i also feel it’s disrespectful to breeders who are actually trying to create new breeds. quite frankly, a breed with the size, strength, and adaptability of a lab or golden that doesn’t shed and that has the train-ability of a poodle, lab, or golden sounds pretty interesting to me. did you know you can actually make that breed? and it wouldn’t be a cross with unpredictable... well, everything. it would actually be a true dog breed.

Look at Silken Windhounds and Biewer Terriers who began both development in the 1980s. Biewer Terriers were recognized by the AKC this year, and Silken Windhounds still haven’t been. And yeah, that’s the problem isn’t it? Making a real new breed takes a lot of time, planning, and care. People would rather just cash in. I think it’s sad and I think it’s disrespectful to the breeders who do work so hard to make actual new breeds.

and finally, unpin being an ex-groomer goddamnit. guess what? doodles are awful to groom! they’re terrible on the grooming tables because people want to have in both ways: they want a dog that doesnt shed at all and they want a dog who doesn’t need to be groomed. well guess what, that dog doesn’t exist and you can have it only one way. and also, bring back the goddamn punnet squares because a lot of doodles have awful coats. if you have hairfur and furhair over there, guess what, their coat fucking sucks bc it’s not meant to be like that. it wants to mat bc hair but also it wants the mats to slide out bc short-ish fur but its too thick for the mats to slide out bc thick hair. and yes its more complicated then this and that means its often more awful then this. its awful, it makes me want to cry. and maybe it’s slightly easier to get away with it with a shorthaired dog like a lab, or, you know what, even a golden, okay, even a slightly long haired dog like a golden but people are doodling akitas? border collies? bernese fucking mountain dogs? i am crying. i am crying right now as i type this.

lets do a sum up to this disaster of a post. look, i don’t go out there attacking or yelling at every doodle or every doodle owner i see, alright? or any of them really. i might engage in conversation to one that’s interested, but that’s it. i love my doodly Isis, okay? shes tiny and she’s adorable and I love her more than life and i will never, ever get another doodle. i don’t like the way they’ve gotten so prolific, i don’t like the reasons they’re now widespread, and i don’t like almost all of the people that create them, including the ones i’ve literally given my (parents) money to in the past. i wish they were better but i just cannot approve of them, especially not in the environment they exist in now. that said, i do support them in their original use case as assistance dogs, and i do not care about them if they’re shelter dogs.