#in like 2 and a half hours and I should probably get some more sleep but 💀
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finally watching give my regards to broad street today 🙏 say some prayers for me
#in like 2 and a half hours and I should probably get some more sleep but 💀#can't wait to suffer! should I make popcorn while delving into this man's psyche?
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I have to be up for work in 3 hours and I'm gonna be real I think ive hit the point where I might not be getting any sleep at all. for fucks sake.
#ive survived all nighters before ill scrape through the day itll just be Rough. at least i dont have much in my schedule#im not gonna take the dose this morning bc i think thats a really bad idea to do on zero hours sleep#and i can't risk two consecutive all nighters. like I have done that before but not while working full time 💀 its not worth it#drafting an email to my doctor to let her know im skipping day 2 + ask advice re. whether its worth resuming again on day 3#bc she did list 'trouble sleeping' as a common symptom that often passes but i need to know a) how long it usually takes to pass and-#b) if this is unusually bad + would she rec supplementing with a sleep aid or just switching tack entirely and trialling a non stimulant#by this stage of the night i dont think its actually acting anymore bc i took it at 7am and its now 3am. it shouldnt last that long#i think its more just triggered my preexisting insomnia. my ability to sleep is very very sensitive sometimes + hates routine changes#just so fucking frustrating bc ive spent the past 2 months nailing my sleep routine + ive had a couple weeks of being able to-#go to bed like 9:30-10 and it only takes an hour to get to sleep and i get usually a good 7 hours sometimes 8 only waking once halfway#and i dont feel like utter shit like yeah im tired but from work not so much lack of sleep.... and now thats all fucked lmao#whatever. maybe i should just take the next dose anyway#ill see. gonna try to sleep for another 2 hours but once it hits 5 im not doing this anymore ive been trying for six hours already man#i cant even remember when i last pulled a full all nighter. it might be longer than 6 months ago... i was doing so well :-(#im so mad i was so hopeful it would have SOME good effect like ik its not a miracle worker + these things take time but so many people-#seem to have an immediate positive response even if its probably a placebo. and i got fuck all except This.#i was searching on the reddit for sleep issues and other ppl only seem to report bad ones on higher doses or years in..#like damn. do i even have adhd then. ik thats a stupid thing to think bc obvs everyones body metabolises meds differently etc but still#it is ALMOST HALF 3 and i am FUCKING TIRED#UGH. alright bedtime round 189447383#.diaries#.vent
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Burn Out
Sam and Dean Winchester & little sister!reader
Requested by Anonymous
Synopsis: you try to juggle hunting with school, but one day you just can’t do it anymore.
“Hey kid, we need you in the war room.”
The knock on your door followed by Sam’s voice had your head shooting up from its position on your notebook.
“What?” You mumbled under your breath, before you got your bearings. “Oh no…”
You looked down at the notebook in front of you—under the drool, there was a half-finished history report. It was due tomorrow, and you hadn’t been able to get started on it until an hour ago, because you and your brothers had been on a hunt. How could you have fallen asleep on it? You had to get this done!
“Y/N?” Sam knocked again. “Can you hear me?”
“I—yeah!” You closed your notebook—hunting was more important; people’s lives were more important. You could finish the report later. “I’m coming.”
…
“I think we should call it a night,” Dean said. You stole a glance at your watch as you put down the lore book that you weren’t even halfway through—it was almost 2 a.m.
“Good idea,” Sam agreed, slamming his own book shut and heading for his room.
“Go and get some sleep,” Dean told you, reaching over your shoulder and closing your book for you. “We can finish this tomorrow.”
You weren’t sure how that was possible, since tomorrow was a school day, but you didn’t argue with Dean. You stumbled back to your bedroom, heading not for your bed, but for your report.
…
You never did make it to your bed. You were pretty sure that you dozed a few times—or at least blinked really long—but you still ended up finishing your report in time.
As soon as it was done, you got yourself ready for school, taking a quick shower and hoping it was enough to make you look refreshed.
Your next stop was the kitchen; you were hoping you had enough time for some breakfast before Dean took you to school. Only, Dean wasn’t in the kitchen like he normally was. Curious, you checked the library, the war room, the shooting gallery, and finally the garage—not only were Sam and Dean not there, but neither was the Impala.
There were only a few options; a last-second hunt (except they would’ve told you they were going), the local library for more books (which hadn’t been necessary lately with all of the books in the bunker library), the grocery store (except the kitchen was fairly well stocked), or a diner for an excuse to get out of the bunker. You figured the last option was most likely—none of the others made sense, and the guys had to be stir-crazy after all the research. They must have wanted to let you sleep in, which meant they must also have forgotten you had school.
“It’s ok,” you mumbled to yourself. “I can still make it.” You’d have to skip breakfast, but if you ran you might still make it to class on time even without the Impala.
It was going to be a long day.
…
You didn’t make it in time, but you were fast enough to just get a tardy instead of an absence.
“Glad you could join us,” the teacher greeted as he gestured towards a seat—in the front.
You didn’t respond as you collapsed into the seat, reaching into your backpack to pull out your report when your phone buzzed.
Dean: Where r u?
So he had forgotten about school. He was probably too sleep-deprived to remember what day it was; you could relate to that. You were just typing out a response when you noticed a shadow over your desk.
“I’ll take your report,” your teacher stated, holding his hand out. “And your phone.”
“But I was just—“
“Your phone, please.”
You handed your phone and your report over without another word, hoping Dean would remember where you were on his own—the last thing you wanted was to freak him out.
“Now, if we’re done with distractions, we need to get started.”
…
You tried to get your phone back at the end of class, but your teacher assured you that—
“You’ll get it at the end of the day. Just stop by the office before you go home.”
—which was bad enough, but when he followed it up with—
“Oh, and I think you should take this back.” He held out your report.
“Wha—why?” You asked, your heart sinking.
“It was supposed to be three pages, not two. If you get it back to me tomorrow with three pages, I won’t have to dock as many points. I think it’s your best option.”
“Um—ok.” You took the report, hoping that you’d actually get the chance to get that third page by tomorrow.
“Just a page more,” your teacher said. “Maybe expound a little more on the individual paragraphs and you’ll be good. And try not to stay up too late doing it,” he added. “I’m guessing things have been pretty busy with you lately—you never used to forget stuff like this. Are you—“
“I’m fine,” you assured him. “I just…I have to get to class.”
You turned on your heel, and your teacher didn’t try to stop you. You knew he was just concerned about you, but in your life you couldn’t afford to have people be curious about you. It never turned out well.
And you just couldn’t take anything else going wrong.
…
You’d forgotten to bring your lunch or any money to buy some from the cafeteria, so you hid out in the bathroom for most of your lunch hour. You got told off by three separate teachers for dozing in class, and there was a pop quiz in the last period over reading that you hadn’t had time to do.
When the final bell rang, you couldn’t get out of your seat fast enough. You made a beeline for the office, hoping that your phone hadn’t been blown up with messages—hoping that Dean wasn’t freaking out.
You didn’t get a chance to find out; you’d forgotten to charge your phone last night, so by the time you picked it up from the secretary, it was dead.
“It’s fine it’s fine it’s fine,” you muttered to yourself over and over on the walk home. You would get home, your brothers would be fine, you’d take a little nap…
You opened the door to the bunker, but you didn’t make it halfway down the stairs before.
“Sam! She’s here!”
Dean caught you at the bottom of the stairs, his hands going to your shoulders, which he gripped tightly.
“What is wrong with you?! Where were you? Why didn’t you answer your phone?”
“Dean, I—“
Dean wasn’t listening.
“You can’t just disappear like that! Sam and I have been going insane! Of all the stupid, irresponsible things to do—“ Dean cut himself off, waving an angry hand in front of his face as if waving off the rant. He didn’t even notice the way your face was scrunching up, or the tears that were beginning to track down your cheeks. “You know what, forget about that. Forget about how you scared the crap out of us, and people are dying out there because we had to stop researching the hunt to look for you. Forget about how you made us think you coulda been dead. Where. Were. You?!” Dean’s grip was back on your shoulders, and he was shaking you. His face was tight with rage, his form towering over your own.
“I-I—“ your voice squeaked and broke, but Dean was still stiff with rage and waiting for your answer, so you tried again. Your voice was as tiny as you felt right now as you finally managed to choke out. “I was at school.” You didn’t notice the way Dean’s face changed—the anger melting from it as realization hit him like a train—because your eyes were too full of tears. “They—I—“ you wanted to tell him they took your phone, you wanted to tell him that you tried to find him before you left, you wanted to tell him you were doing your best…but you couldn’t. You couldn’t find it in you to give any excuses that could make him yell at you like that again. “I’m sorry, I…I’ll go help Sam with research.”
You ran past Dean, heading for the library.
“Dang it,” Dean mumbled under his breath, smacking the wall with his fist as he huffed. “So stupid, I’m so stupid!” He took a long moment to breathe, not wanting to look angry when he saw you again.
He had enough of a mess to fix already.
…
No one was in the library when you got there, so you went right to pulling books off the shelves.
After the first few books, you spotted one on a higher shelf. You were just reaching for it when you heard—
“Y/N!”
You turned around to see Sam heading right for you. You were already stumbling out an apology before he even reached you.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—I thought you—“ you were blubbering, having not stopped crying since your encounter with Dean. Sam noticed immediately and his approach slowed as his hands rose innocently.
“Whoa, hey, it’s ok, you’re ok.” Sam continued to step forwards, but that just made you feel cornered against the bookshelf, and you started to panic as you couldn’t make yourself stop crying.
“I’m sorry Sammy, I was at school, I’m gonna help you now, I’m sorry I’m sorry—“
You didn’t notice the books slipping from your hands until they clattered to the floor. Your hands were starting to shake, and your knees were shaking so hard that you had to slowly lower yourself in a crouching position on the floor before you fell. You tucked your head into your knees, finally letting out all the stress of the past weeks as you sobbed.
“Hey hey hey…” Sam knelt down next to you and grabbed onto your shoulders. “It’s ok, just take some deep breaths. You’re ok.”
You could hardly breathe between sobs, but you tried your best to listen to your big brother’s instructions.
“Kid?” Your head lifted just a little when you heard Dean’s voice. He joined Sam next to you. “Slow down, sweetheart. Breathe.”
“I didn’t mean to,” you whimpered, taking deep breaths between words. “They took my phone and I didn’t know what—“
“It’s ok, don’t explain,” Dean insisted. “Just keep taking deep breaths for me, ok?”
“Ok.” You sniffled, grabbing on to Dean’s offered hand and breathing slowly until your sobs subsided.
“Good, good.” Dean sat back on his heels, running a hand over his face. “I should’ve slowed it down, I should’ve known we were burning you out.”
“I’m sorry,” you sniffled. “I thought maybe you would figure it out—I can help you now—“
“No, no” Sam interrupted. “This isn’t your fault, don’t apologize. And the research can wait—I think you should get some sleep.”
“And food,” Dean added. “Did you eat today?”
You rubbed your sleeve over your face, trying to stop your tears.
“You don’t have to baby me,” you said finally. “I-I can still help you guys.”
“Not today,” Sam countered. “And maybe not for a little while. We’ve been burning you out too much.”
“Look,” Dean added before you could argue. “Sometimes we can forget that you’re still just a kid, and you still have kid stuff to worry about—like school. That’s on us, not you. This isn’t your fault; we need to do better. And that starts with making sure you take care of yourself. So go get some food, and get some sleep. Everything else can wait, ok?”
You hesitated. “Ok.” You let your brothers help you to your feet, and then you couldn’t help yourself—you pulled Dean in for a hug, burying your head in his jacket. You felt his body shake a little as he chuckled.
“You’re ok kid,” he said, rubbing your back. “I’m sorry about earlier.”
“It’s ok,” you said, your voice muffled against his shirt.
“Ok.” Dean was smiling as you pulled away. “Now get going.”
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#the winchesters#dean and sam#dean winchester#supernatural dean#sam winchester#winchesters x sister#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x you#winchesters x reader#sam winchester x reader#dean winchester x little sister#dean winchester x sister#dean winchester x sister!reader#dean winchester spn#sam winchester x little sister#sam winchester x y/n#sam winchester x sister!reader#sam winchester x you#supernatural sam winchester#sam winchester spn#the winchester brothers
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First Day
This is Part 2 of an office / cooperate AU for poly!141
Here’s Part 1 / Part 3
Pairing 141 x you
Tw: mean bf ( not 141)
The 141 leaves at the same time , and when they get down to the lobby they see that you are still down there in the cafe with a cup that is for sure empty and a large smart water on your phone. They are all shocked to see you there and and John is pissed but tries to breathe through it.
“What are you still doing here?” ,He ask.
You look up and is a little startled when you are greeted by 4 large guys looming over you. Your startled a little bit, “huh?”, you tired and you know you haven’t done anything for seven hours but your still not at home and you wish you were.
“What are you still doing here, bird?” John pushes out , he has an ideas as to why but he wants to hear from you.
“Oh , I’m waiting on my boyfriend , he gets off in 4 more hours” you say brightly , faking it until you make it.
“Do you need a ride ?”, Soap interjects, “ I get great gas mileage.”
“Oh thank you for the offer, but I’m okay”. You know how your boyfriend can get when he thinks that you are entertaining other guys , which you would never do but he doesn’t seem to realize that.
“You sure?” he questions, you want to take him up on his offer but you know you can’t so just smile and shake your head.
~
Four and half hours later you are passenger side of the car and he doesn’t even ask how your interview went just wonders what for dinner.
You roll your eyes , you don't even like cooking but its your duty since you don’t work and still need to share the responsibilities.
“Probably chicken and rice”
“Anything other than that?” , that pisses you off because one: you haven’t made chicken and rice for a two weeks and two: you don’t like cooking so he should take what’s he gets.
“If you don’t like how about you cook” you snap back.
“Don’t be such a bitch” he says casually. You know you deserve better than this but you feel stuck, you’ve been with him for 8 years, he was you first everything and while they has been many breaks within your relationship you never strayed and hopefully he hasn’t either (he has break or not).
You get home , you make dinner you don’t really want to make , have a sex with a guy you don’t really want to have sex with and go to sleep in a bed you really don’t want to sleep in.
The call comes in the morning at 8:30 am sharp , your so excited you have an issue answering the phone so it take a couple of rings beofre the sliding your thumb across the screen.
“Hello”
“Good morning , this John Price from the interview yesterday” his voice sounds so nice and low over the phone and you honestly love and it take you second to remember to say something back.
“Yes, that’s me”
“We would like to offer you a position as receptionist associate”
“Yes!”
“Woah, bird slow down, you need to hear my offer and then ask some questions”
“Oh okay sure”. So you listen to him talk and do a spiel that sounds almost robotic. He ask if you want to negotiate for the salary. No you say. Honey, you should negotiate he says. So you ask for a dollar more than offered and he says that will be fine.
“When can you start ? “ he ask
“Immediately”
“Today?”
“Ummm I guess not immediately, my boyfriend has the car today”
“I’ll call you a car” he says easily.
“Oh sure, how long do I have”
“Can you be ready in 30 minutes” . No. You cannot, but you say, “Sure”, in the most preppy voice as possible, you can feel the aniexty ramping up.
When you get off the phone it’s a mad scramble to find an outfit , which of course nothing fit rights and everything is wrinkly. You do your hair but you need a reti and your hair is fuzzy so you just leave it down. Your make up is not turning out right and you forgot to powder your makeup so now it’s going to crease. And you didn’t have breakfast but still has coffee so now your going to have to go the bathroom in 20 minutes and it’s not going to be fun.
And your sweating. A lot.
You just finished with your routine by the time you get the text from the number that called you this morning
>>the car is here for you.
You thumbs up the message, rushing out the door with your tote bag.
You slide into the backseat of the car because you think it’s a rideshare.
“What are you doing back there? Sit up here with me”. You look up and see Soap looking at your through the rear view mirror and shoot him a smile slide out of the backseat and move to the front seat.
“I didnt know this is what Mr. John meant when he said he was going to send a car”
“Mr. John,eh”
“ I just want to be respectful,” you say with a laugh.
“Hen , he will love that”
~
By the time you get to the office you are a bundle of nerves , you hate being the new girl , you also hate not being good at your job. You know what happens when you get a new job but you can still hate it. You are picking at your cuticles which is a nervous tick that you have, you follow Johnny up the office space and sit on the sofa next to the reception and wait for John to call you into his office. You do the basic onboarding task with and thankfully Kyle which you now know as “Gaz” is HR and that’s why he’s in the annex. After you are done with John you get sent back there and complete the rest of the task and that when you get shown your desk at reception.
“You can decorate it however you want”
“Really” You’ve never had a cubicle or a desk that you can decorate however you want. You're so excited to go to TJ Maxx after work and spend the money you don’t have . You sit at the desk and get started with making your system to work. Making a new voicemail message, making a new email signature and distro list. You look after answering the phone and having to assign to a rep and see a tall man with a surgery mask staring back at. You remember when you got the tour of that being Simon Riley. You give him a big smile and wave nd then point to the phone and then to you then to him and nods once, you transfer the call hopefully to Simon but then you hear Johns phone ring and you internally cringe, already knowing that you transferred the call to the wrong office.
���This is Price , what can I do for ya?” you hear and want the floor to swallow you up. You look over at Simon and his eyes widening and then is followed by his shoulders shaking and great hes laughing at you.
“Hen, a word ? “ You look up and see John in doorway, leaning against in that sexy way that guys do and you stand up from your desk with you head down and head over. You squeeze by him to get into the office and he shuts the door behind you.
“Please have seat , do you know how to- “ You quickly cut him off and start to explain how your still getting used to transferring calls and that you know Simon sits next to Soap but Soap real name is John but also called Johnny and then everyone's name is blinking an-
“Your not in trouble … did anyone teach how to use the phones?” You shake your head, and then he teaches you, like actually teaches you how to do things, and its the best first day you ever had.
~
You forgot to tell your boyfriend you had to work, and when he got home without you being there he called you. Your phone was on silent. In your purse. He has your location.
The door slam opens with the blinds bouncing on the door causing you be look and be startled. “Where the hell have you been” he demands , you know hes mad , his face is red amd his hair look like he ran his hand through it multiple times and you know for a fact the car is park half haphazardly taking up two spots.
Your used to this attitude and you make sure you stay perfectly still but not too defensive because it will make it worse but you’ve never experienced it at work. You glance over to your coworkers: John standing up in his doorway, Soap moving towards your desk, and Simon watching from his desk , he’s alert and you can’t see his hands.
“I’ve been here, they wanted me to start today”, you smile hoping to pacify him. You start to get stuff ready already knowing that you are about to leave just so he won’t embarrass you anymore. “I’m sorry it was all so sudden, you know”, ending in a nervous laughter.
“I’m not fucking laughing”, he says your name with so much force , you lean back as if that will get you away from him.
“I know” , you say softly, moving around the desk and putting your jacket on.
You look around and thank them for such a good first day.
“You okay ?”, John ask you with a tilt of his head trying to look you in the eye.
“She fine”, your boyfriend answered for you. You know you have tears in your eyes and if you were lighter you would be flustered but all there is to show for it is sweaty armpits. You nod you head and smile at him.
“I will see you guys tomorrow , have a nice rest of your day” , just as your boyfriend grabs you by the arm and drags you out of there.
~
John glances at Soap and then Simon and nods his head towards annex. They need to have a little chat about the receptionist and her little boyfriend.
#task force 141#simon riley x reader#johh price x reader#soap x reader#gaz x reader#poly!141#cooperate!au#freyawrites
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Spiral
Bucky Barnes x teacher reader
Warnings: AANGST Arguments, mean Bucky, break up, make up, fluffff
listen, don’t eat me alive for this, I’ve been craving some angst (with a happy ending), the type that makes my chest itch so here we are. If this is too toxic for you and you only live for sunshine and rainbows and perfect communication, then this is not the fic for you. He gets mean because that’s what I wanted. So mean. I wanted to feel physical pain while reading. But then my hamster brain got exhausted to write more groveling. So don’t come at me about “she shouldn’t have taken him back, he should’ve begged and groveled more” He groveled.
-
You sighed, rubbing sleep away from your eyes, trying to get them to focus on the time on the clock.
2:57 AM
You stretched out some of the kinks from your neck after falling asleep on the couch, reaching for your phone and squinting at the bright screen, all your calls and texts left unanswered. He didn’t respond to one. You sat up hearing the lock click open, some of your anxiety melting away hearing the thud of his bag hit the floor.
“Bucky?”
“Yeah” He toed off his boots and shrugged off his jacket, heading straight for the bedroom without even looking your way, his shoulders heavy from exhaustion. You followed him to your shared bedroom, taking his bag from him and unpacking it while he stripped his clothes off getting ready to take a shower.
“What time did you guys get back?”
“Couple hours ago” He grunted, tossing his clothes into the hamper, heading to the bathroom and clicking the lock shut. You blinked, slightly taken aback by his coldness but it wasn’t like you hadn’t seen this side before. Bucky had improved a lot with his stress and how he handled missions but ones that involved casualties or hydra would pull him into deep waves of despair, holding him down till he nearly drowned.
You swallowed the uneasiness that crept up your spine; now wasn’t the time to ask him why he hadn’t let you know he was back safe or why he had ignored all your messages. He would have been busy with reports and right now he was drained. You went to grab his Henley and some boxer briefs, laying them out on the bed for him as soon as you heard the water shut off. He emerged out with his towel wrapped around his waist, water still dripping from his short locks while you grabbed his clothes, handing it to him before he went to the closet.
“Here, I already got them out of the closet”
He half mumbled in response, pulling his clothes on and falling into bed, snoring as soon as his head hit the pillow. You weren’t a fan of him sleeping with wet hair, grabbing a dry towel and gently patting his hair as best as you could without waking him. He mumbled something again, pulling the sheet higher on himself and tucking himself further away from you, unbothered with his still semi damp hair. You jolted at the sound of your phone buzzing, Sam’s caller ID lighting up the screen.
“Hey Sam”
“Big guy get home alright?”
“He did, why?”
“Hm” You could hear the hesitation in his voice, “He’s been pretty out of it these past few missions, probably because he’s exhausted. Tony’s told him to sit out a couple of them but he’s there anyway. Stubborn as hell”
“He really is” You shook your head, frowning at his sleeping form. Usually you found his stubbornness endearing but not when it was taking a toll on his health.
“We uh...” Sam paused again, contemplating on if he should tell you his next words, deciding facing Bucky’s wrath would be better than losing him all together. “I know he’ll kick my ass for telling you this but we nearly lost him today”
Your mouth dried up, heart rapidly hammering against your ribcage. You couldn’t get any words out to acknowledge what he’d just said but you heard him loud and clear.
“Oh”
“It’s a lot, I know. Maybe talk to him. He’s getting reckless, it’s going to get him killed. We’ve tried talking to him but you know how-”
“Yeah” You blurted out, your mind now racing along with your heart, your body feeling hot. You could feel your anxiety sky rocket at the thought of Bucky endangering himself, never coming home to you again. The way your bed would feel empty. The way your soul would leave along with him. You couldn’t speak anymore, humming and mumbling the rest of the conversation. “Thanks Sam”
You slipped under the covers, sleep not taking over as easily. Your anxiety at an all time high. Bucky used to text you as soon as he got back. Not a single one of your calls would be left unanswered. Running to you the second the jet landed. He’d never leave your side, taking you into the shower with him and making love to you till the sun came up with endless cuddles afterwards. Even after some of his darkest missions, he’d search for you eventually, seeking your comfort and warmth.
Now?
Nothing.
You groaned hearing the alarm go off, forcing yourself out of bed and going through your routine, getting ready for work and packing your things for the day. Your movements were shaky, the conversation with Sam screaming in your head while you poured some coffee and got started on breakfast. You wanted to scream and cry so badly but you couldn’t. It wouldn’t be a productive conversation when Bucky was like this anyway. You ended up running on autopilot, thinking about the lessons you’d teach for the day, supplies you still had to order for the classroom, the nagging parent that wanted to arrange a meeting after school. Bucky trudged into the kitchen a few minutes after you, setting on a bowl of cereal, his eyes sullen from a lack of proper sleep.
“Can I make something for you?” you tested the waters to gauge his mood though you could see from his face he was still mentally elsewhere. He shook his head, huffing in frustration when the utensil drawer jammed, squeezing his eyes shut to collect himself before trying to open it again.
“Sweetheart, let me get that for you” You set down your things, realizing that his exhausted state made his patience wear thin.
“It’s fine” He tried to push the frustration he felt down, his teeth gritted as spoke, yanking at the drawer once more.
“It’s probably stuck, just pull it slowly-”
“I said I got it”
“But-”
“I’m not one of your fucking students!” He stated louder than necessary, pulling the drawer out with more force than he intended, all the contents inside crashing and clanking to the floor. You yelped in surprise, ignored the shakiness you started to feel coursing through your body, stepping towards Bucky instead, your heart breaking over how lost and worn out he looked.
“Baby I didn’t say that-
“Why the fuck do you treat me like a child then?! Taking out my clothes, drying my hair, making my breakfast, texting and calling 100 times when I’m away. Do I look like I’m incapable of taking care of myself?” He spat, taking a step back from you when you tried to reach out from him, his brows furrowed, blue eyes glaring at you. You couldn’t help but let your anger bubble over, how dare he yell at you when he was the one carelessly putting his life at risk at risk on a daily basis.
“Honestly?!” Your composure started to crumble, your eyes boring into his sleep deprived face, “From where I’m standing, it doesn’t look like it”
Bucky let out a humorless laugh, scoffing while you continued to stare at him. He slammed the drawer shut, not bothering to pick up what had fallen as he started to walk away from the kitchen and back to the bedroom.
“Fuck this, I don’t need this” He shook his head while you followed him, going straight to the closet to grab his duffle bag he took for overnight missions.
“What exactly do you not need” You tried to take a deep breath in, not wanting to upset him more when he wasn’t in a good state of mind.
“You”
Oh.
“I don’t need you or your coddling” He started to grab handfuls of his clothes, shoving them haphazardly in his bag. “It’s suffocating y/n”
You watched him in silence, squeezing your nails into your palms, desperately trying to hold it together while he continued to pack the few belongings he had.
“Having someone constantly nag you about your whereabouts, doubt if you can even take care of your basic needs. Its-it’s just exhausting”
You swallowed away the tightness that constricted your throat, not wanting to aggravate him further even though your own emotions were now thrown for a loop. This wasn’t him, this wasn’t your Bucky.
“James, all you had to do was just tell me you were safe, you used to answer your messages, I worry about y-
“Well don’t! Because I don’t worry about you. Alright? There. That’s why I don’t message”
You wordlessly stared at him, your mouth dry as if you’d swallowed cotton. Your chest felt like you had been hit by a truck, feeling pain on the inside as your heart strings snapped one by one each time he spoke.
“I don’t message because I don’t care. When I come back I just-I just want to be left alone. That's why I spend so much time at the compound after. I don’t exactly feel like rushing home”
You wanted to bite your tongue, walk away but the words were falling from your mouth before you could stop yourself.
“Clearly you don’t care! Is that why the fuck you take on so many missions when you’re clearly worn the fuck out? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”
“Don’t tell me how to do my job” Bucky growled while you willed yourself to not let him see you cry, your eyes betraying you as tears welled in your lash line.
“It’s not doing your job if you’re dead Bucky!” Hot tears were now rolling down your cheeks, any resolve you previously had thrown out the door.
“You don’t know anything” Bucky shook his head, scoffing and pushing past you while you pathetically trailed behind him, unable to stop this train wreck of an argument.
“What?”
He finally turned to face you, dropping his bag in the living room, his sullen eyes daring you to try and stop him from leaving. You were about to open your mouth to speak but he cut you off.
“What the fuck do you know y/n, you get to go in every morning, coddle some children for 8 hours, then you come back home, fucking try and do the same shit with me after like you have nothing better to do, too stupid to realize I can take care of myself. Why would I need you? Huh? Tell me” He challenged, the rational side of his brain kicking and screaming at him to stop but he was too far gone, too deprived of everything to stop the venom he was spitting. “I don’t need you. I don’t fucking want you”
“Th-that’s how you feel?” Bucky blinked at the sound of your voice cracking, though his ego and anger at the rest of the world not letting him back down. He shrugged, his stomach now churning over your stoic expression but your eyes giving away how much he was hurting you. “Fine”
You didn’t move a muscle as he grabbed his bag and headed out the door, slamming it shut behind him. Every single fiber in your body wanted to crumble to the floor, wishing it would swallow you whole. You pushed back all the emotions that wanted to crash all over the floor, shakily packing your things up and rushing out the door, hoping your little ones would distract you enough to get through the day.
If anything they made it worse.
Every one one of your students knew something was off, seeing right past the smile you had plastered onto your face, doing your best to appear normal. You fought off tears as your third graders quietly made you cards to make you feel better during their recess time, a few of them even leaving portions of their snack on your desk, hoping it’d make you smile. You avoided reading any of the sweet little notes, knowing you’d break down into sobs if you read them.
As soon as you got home, all your pent up sadness turned into rage. Angry tears streamed down your face as soon as you locked the door shut, the soft scent of home, of your Bucky now made your stomach turn. You hated that the whole place suffocated you with him, pictures of you both, his records and books on the shelves, a Henley on the couch. The kitchen was no better, plums on the counter, his favorite coffee in the cupboard, a Captain America mug still in the sink.
You desperately wanted to shower and crawl into bed but the shared bedroom was the worst of all. You couldn’t stand to be in the space where his clothes were, the sheet still lingering with his soft scent that used to make you feel safe and remind you of home. You didn’t even realize you had broken down into sobs on the floor, all the pent up emotions you had kept in you spilling out all at once.
The last thing you wanted to do was coddle and suffocate Bucky, his words echoing in your head.
I don’t message because I don’t care
What do you know, y/n?
I don’t need you.
I don’t fucking want you.
Fine.
-
Bucky wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he got home, blinking at the dark house, usually you’d leave at least one light on. He had made it clear he was leaving, he couldn't expect you to be waiting at the front door with open arms. He stood for a moment, wondering if you had perhaps gone to bed early but it was eerily quiet. He didn’t like the cold silence that greeted him, it didn’t take him long to realize you weren’t there.
Yet there was an inkling of hope that maybe. Just maybe you were somewhere around.
“Y/n?”
Nothing.
He made his way right to the bedroom, only to be met with more cold silence. Bucky’s mind swirled, regret, guilt and shame constricting his neck once again. As soon as he had walked out, he wanted nothing more than to run back into the house and take it all back, tell you he didn’t mean a word of what he said. He wanted to scoop you in his arms and beg for forgiveness and shower you with love for the way you cared about him so much. He let his feet carry him away instead, not being able to think straight, frustration and pain feeding the caged monster he unleased on you.
The last person that deserved it.
Where had you gone?
Did it matter?
He paced around the room; none of your things were out of place but it was too late for you to have gone on a walk or to grab food. He couldn’t look at himself in the mirror, feeling nothing but disgust with himself, the image of your sweet fallen face burned in his mind. How could he push away the one person who cared enough to take care of him so tenderly. So gently. So lovingly.
And to say he didn’t care? Or worry?
How could he let those words fall from his lips when you were the reason he stayed alive. It took everything in him to not smash the first thing that came into his hand, of all the reckless and careless things he had done in this life, this was the worst. This hurt more than anything Hydra had put him though. He almost wished they’d take him away again, wipe his memories, wipe away the sound of your voice cracking, wipe away the way you’d softly call for him. Wipe away the feel of your soft hands touching him and soothing him when he couldn't sleep-
Wipe everything away because he was selfish.
Unable to exist with he guilt of knowing he’d hurt you so much.
His hands were working faster than his brain could comprehend, calling the first person he could think of, desperate to know you were at least okay and alive before he purged the city to look for you.
“Nat-”
“She’s here” Nat deadpanned, cutting the call immediately after. He knew by her tone of voice, there would be no point in trying to call back. He had no right to see you. No right to come and ask for you to come back. He had no right for anything yet he had already broken off into a sprint. He made it very clear he didn’t want you, very clear you meant nothing, very clear he was the most fucked up idiot in the world, completely undeserving of your love.
But he was selfish.
He loved you.
Bucky didn’t waste a second, hopping onto his motorbike and speeding off to the compound, bounding to the elevators and immediately to Nat’s door. He barely raised his hand to knock, the red head reluctantly opening the door to a disheveled Bucky.
“She doesn’t want to see you”
“Nat, please-
“Barnes. She doesn’t want to see you” She threw in with a shrug, her green eyes challenging him to argue back.
“I want to see her” His voice was small, hopeful, only to be met with a scoff and eyeroll, the assassin stepping out of the room and gently shutting the door behind her.
“So you can tell her you don’t want her?” Nat crossed her arms while Bucky felt his insides crumble more, his own words taunting him.
“She told you?”
“Not much because even now, she’s more worried about you instead of how you treated her” Nat glared at the super solider as he hung his head, knowing damn well he had already been spiraling for weeks, his explosion a result of pent up pain and stress left undealt with. “Y’know you could’ve lost it on one of us but not her, she’s always been there for you in ways no one else could”
Bucky felt his throat tighten, unable to get any words out as he silently nodded and made his way to a different floor to sleep in a guest room. Of course he didn’t sleep, tears staining the pillow, struggling to keep his sobs down. He spent the rest of the night all the way till morning pacing up and down the hall instead, waiting for you to wake up, ignoring the glare Nat gave him when she saw him sitting on the floor outside of her room. As soon as the door clicked open again, Bucky scrambled to his feet, rushing to your side.
“Y/n-
“Don’t”
You couldn’t bare to look at him, turning on your heel with your bag slung over your shoulder. Bucky reached for your wrist, weakly grasping it, the undeserving inkling of hope he had slowly dissolving when he felt your muscles tense.
“I’m sor-
“I said don’t. I don’t want to hear it” You shook your head, tugging your hand away and continuing down the hall while Bucky trailed behind you like a puppy.
“Angel, angel please wait!” He caught up with you, moving to block your path, but you shoved his chest, pushing him aside, gritting you teeth together till you made it outside. You would not let him see you break twice.
“No”
“Angel, I-I need-”
“You made it very clear you don’t need much. I’m not something you need” You cut him off before he could finish, unable to shake off the way the words he cut you deep, tangled around you like barbed wire. Your words cut him right back, his chest filling with even more guilt and regret.
“That’s not true baby” His voice trembled, looking at your tear stained cheeks and puffy face. He’d never forgive himself over the pain he’d caused you, itching to pull you in his arms but how could he when he made you cry in the first place.
“Don’t call me that” You scoffed, feeling your throat tighten, your vision cloudy with fresh tears. You kept your eyes trained towards the elevator, hoping to escape before the damn broke.
“But you are”
“No, I’m not” You shook your head, “You can get the rest of your things today, you won’t have to worry about not rushing home anymore” You didn’t give him a chance to respond, dashing towards the doors as soon as they opened and striding through the compound till you got to your car. The skin on your knuckles was pulled tight as you gripped the steering wheel, breathing slowly till you got home. Everything came crashing down again as soon as you were back in your room; it wouldn’t have hurt this much if you didn’t actually love him
But you did.
-
Bucky looked defeated as the elevator doors closed, his heart breaking further when you didn’t spare him a second glance. He didn’t bother wiping away the tears that were now streaming down his face as he made his way back to the guest room, ignoring Steve’s concerned glance and slamming the door shut. As expected, there was a knock at the door moments later, blond hair and blue eyes peering inside, unbothered by the death glare Bucky was shooting him.
“You did something” He cocked an eyebrow, looking at his bestfriends guilt ridden face, staring at his feet like an admonished child. Bucky chewed at his lip, figuring there was no point in lying at this point, if anything he deserved the scolding he’d inevitably get.
“I messed up”
“That would appear so” Steve nodded, urging him to continue.
“I said a lot of things”
“You should apologize”
“I can’t apologize for the things I said” Bucky shook his head, his voice trembling again, “I-I can’t just say sorry. It’s been weeks. Weeks of giving her shit. This just- it was too much. Y-you should have seen her face Steve”
Steve remained silent, letting him continue.
“Fuck- I-, y’know she goes as far as drying my hair if I try to sleep while its still damp? Even when it’s late? and she has work the next morning”
“And the problem is? She always takes care of you, I’ve seen it myself”
Bucky scoffed at himself, shaking his head while fidgeting with his hands.
What was his problem.
He had a girl that actually gave a fuck about him, wanting to know if he was safe and loving him enough to take care of him even when he was broken.
“I got mad at her for it” His voice was a whisper, dripping in shame, “She’d waited for me to get home, took care of me and I yelled at her”
“Explain” Steve didn’t like where the conversation was going but he wasn’t about to let Bucky off the hook without finding out exactly what happened. “All of it”
“I-I was tired. I got frustrated when a drawer got stuck and lashed out on her and told her I didn’t want her. Didn’t need her. Had no interest in seeing her. It had already been a long time of me just not seeing or talking to her properly in general”
“Bucky���
“I know” He squeezed his eyes shut, unable to look at Steve’s face. “and a lot of other shit. And I can’t take it back”
“No, you can’t” Steve agreed, much to Bucky’s discontent but again, his best friend wouldn’t lie and he had brought this all on himself. “You actually care about her?”
“I fucking love her” Bucky’s eyes shot up, full confidence in his voice, he, without a single doubt in his soul, loved you completely.
“Then give her time. You hurt her, Buck”
Bucky nodded, hating that he had no choice now but to wait. He quietly collected his things while you were at work, not wanting to torment you further.
-
You hadn’t spoken to Bucky for weeks. Every time your missed him, thought about him, picked up your phone to call and check on him, you remembered what he told you.
He didn’t want you.
You downed another drink, staying tucked away at a booth while Natasha and Wanda went off dancing, the both of them dragging out out of the house, insisting you had to get out. Even after the break up, they remained close to you. No amount of make up could cover the puffiness and redness of your eyes or mask the way your voice was stuffy from nights of crying to sleep but there you were. On your third glass.
“Someone looks happy to be here”
Your eyes searched the crowd for the familiar voice, eventually landing on Sam, his eyebrows playfully wiggling as he slid into your booth. You relaxed when you saw he hadn’t come with Bucky but you knew based off his face, there was something on his mind.
“I think you both should talk”
There it is.
“There’s nothing to talk about” You shrugged, swirling your drink around with your straw while Sam sighed.
“You’re both miserable”
“I made him miserable” You countered, nervously fidgeting with your fingers instead.
“You know that’s not true-” Sam started but the scoff you let out let him know that was a pointless road to go down, “Okay fine. Things weren’t great. But it was an abrupt end and he’s been kicking himself and you don’t look like you’re doing so hot either sweetheart”
“Thanks” You deadpanned while he grinned, giving your hand a squeeze.
“He’s really trying for you, y/n” Sam said softly, the playfulness in his voice replaced with sincerity.
“What do you mean?”
“Talk to him”
-
You spent the rest of the week contemplating what Sam said but every time you picked up your phone, you dropped it again. You messages would probably be ignored and he likely hated you even more. Which is why you were curled up on the couch, trying not to think about him, having a night for yourself, hoping not to be tempted with your phone though a soft thump at the door pulled you away from the story. You set down the book you were reading, growing nervous when you heard the sound again. You were sure you were just hearing things but this time it was more clear. The second knock at the door made you blink, curious to know who would come by at this time.
“Bucky?” You gasped, surprised to find him standing on the other side, a small bouquet of flowers in his hand, the stems nearly crushed from how nervous he was, “What-what are you doing here?”
“It’s-fuck, it’s been hell sweets” Bucky whispered, his knees already ready to give way, the smell of home, the sight of you, all making him feel overwhelmed. “Hell knowing I hurt you”
You stepped aside to let him in, not wanting to keep him in the hallway. Bucky stayed rooted in place on the welcome mat, not wanting to cross a boundary if you didn’t want him there. He hesitantly came in when you gave him a small nod, his movements shaky as he toed his boots off and followed you to the living room, the both of you standing in silence.
“You said you didn’t want me” You kept your eyes trained on your feet, tears already threatening to spill over, you could feel the warmth of his body with how close he was, smell the scent of his laundry detergent, his cologne, the leather of his jacket.
“How could I not want you sweets, you’re one of the reasons I’m alive-”
“Didn’t seem that way”
“I know baby, but-”
“Don’t call me that James” You shook your head, your heart twisting hearing his pleading voice, the sweet names he had for you making you weak.
“No” Bucky shook his head as he felt his stomach drop at the sound of his name coming from your mouth, he despised it, hated it, “ m’not James, m’your Bucky, your Jamie, your baby, please-”
“You’re not a lot of things” You tried to keep your voice steady but it was already beginning to crack, your nails digging into your palms to keep from pulling him into you when he stepped closer.
“I’m sorry”
You remained silent, swallowing the lump that made your throat tighter, your vision blurry.
“I’m so sorry doll, please?”
You could hear the quiver in his voice, now barely a whisper, the sniffle between his words making your lip tremble.
“Please?”
The soft sob that slipped past your lips at his pleading voice broke Bucky, his legs giving way, desperate to take away everything he did to hurt you. He was on his knees, his face buried in your tummy, his tears soaking your shirt. His cries were muffled as he tried to burry his face in further, desperately clinging onto you while you hesitantly brought a hand to card through his hair.
“Why” You still felt like you had so many things left unanswered.
“It was never you baby” Bucky kept himself hidden from you, his arms hugging you tightly while continuing to rest against your stomach. “I-I kept everything inside and it spilled onto you, I don’t have the words- M’selfish baby. I’m so selfish because I want you, I want to love you, I want everything you give me, I miss you, I missed you, I shouldn’t have walked out, m’sorry”
You hummed, petting his hair softly, the simple action causing him to feel even more emotional.
“Please, wanna be your Bucky, please, I’m sorry doll” He nervously tilted his face up, his chin still pressed against your stomach, tears streaming down his cheeks. You placed your hand on his scruffy cheek, which he instantly leaned into, your thumb swiping away his tears.
“I-I’m scared” You said truthfully, every single fiber in your body wanting to pick him up and cling onto him forever but you were nervous. He walked out once...
“I’ll give you all the space you need. Just please give me another chance, it doesn’t have to be today or soon, just- I promise I’ll do better doll”
You nodded, taking his hand in yours to pull him to his feet, letting him sit on the couch with you. Bucky placed the flowers he was till clutching onto on the coffee table before sitting beside you, mindful to keep some space in between.
“I-I told Tony to pull me out of missions”
“What?”
Bucky nodded with a small smile, it was the first thing he did when he realized he had to take care of himself first before coming back to you. You’d done enough of picking up his broken pieces.
“The missions weren’t good for me. Too many, a lot of them triggering. I needed to pull back but I kept going. Didn’t stop until I ended up hurting you. Figured it was time I spoke up. Even started to see a therapist”
“You did?” You couldn’t help but inch closer to him, knowing exactly how much he struggled with opening up.
“I did it for me so I could be better for you” Bucky stated honestly; he made the choice to better himself because that’s what you deserved. “You don’t have to take me back right away-
“Come back home” You whispered, meeting his eyes with your teary ones, you’d take it slow if you had to but you wanted to do it with him by your side.
“Are you sure?” Bucky’s heart hammered out of his chest, not wanting to get his hopes up or make you feel like he was pressuring you, “I’ll wait if you need more time-”
“Come back home” You cut him off, biting your lip to keep from crying again, clawing into his lap, his arms engulfing you into a tight hug while you clung onto him, burying your face into his neck. He smelled like love, home, your heart. The feel of his arms wrapped around you made you feel safe and whole again.
“Come home, Bucky” You hugged him tighter while he pulled away, his hands moving to cup your cheeks.
“Bucky?” He whispered, having missed the way his name sounded, the softness of your voice, the way you fit with him.
“My Bucky” You nodded, letting your forehead rest against his, pressing a soft kiss to his nose.
“Jamie?”
“My Jamie”
“Baby”
“My baby”
“M’never leaving again, angel”
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Trust Me
Pairing(s): Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Summary: You haven’t been able to sleep in a couple weeks, and Natasha knows just the way to get you to close your eyes.
Word Count: 1.5k
Warnings: None? (If anyone finds any feel free to message me!)
Author’s Note: Heyy guys! I know I haven’t posted a fic in like 6 months, but I got writers block and it just never really went away. I’m not sure when I’ll post again, but I’ve had the idea for this fic for a while and I finally got the motivation to write it. It might not be that good but I hope you enjoy it at least a little! Think of it as a little Christmas gift :)
Author’s Note Pt. 2: Also, this is not proofread because I just wanted to get it posted so there might be some spelling and grammar errors!
You heavily sighed once again for probably the fifth time in the past five minutes. It’s been a few hours since you and Natasha had called it a night, and yet here you were at nearly three in the morning still lying wide awake.
Although it’s not as if you were surprised or expecting anything else. You’d been having trouble falling asleep since the first night you and Natasha arrived in Norway.
Despite not having gotten many hours of sleep lately, for some reason you still weren’t tired and still could not fall asleep.
When your girlfriend came to you a week and a half ago and told you she had no other choice but to leave the states in order to evade the government after the whole incident between Tony and Steve, you instantly decided you’d be going with her without a second thought and left no room for her to disagree.
After all she should’ve known you’d follow her anywhere, but you guess it’s taken a toll on you.
You wanted to sleep, and yet you weren’t sure what was keeping you up. Maybe you were worried about something happening to Natasha?
‘What if she gets caught? Or what if we both somehow get hurt?’ you thought.
But you knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself and keeping you safe at the same time.
Even with the amount of times you told yourself not to worry, your mind wouldn’t listen.
You eventually sighed and turned your head to look at the redhead behind you. Her arms were wrapped tightly around you and no matter how much she shifted throughout the night, she never let you go.
The mere thought of that would be enough to bring a smile to your face if you weren’t so frustrated with yourself.
Deciding you’d had enough of laying there awake, you carefully unraveled your girlfriend’s arms from around you and slid out of bed.
You almost shivered at the cool temperature of the trailer as your bare feet touched the floor and you made your way into the kitchen.
The random plastic bags on the counter rustled as you rummaged through them in search of something to snack on, finally coming across a bottle of water and a pack of chips you’d never heard of.
As you went to open the cap of the bottle, a pair of arms slipping around your waist startled you. The yelp you let out made the person behind you chuckle, and you relaxed recognizing the sound.
“Sorry, malysh (baby).” Natasha said and you turned to look at her to see the apologetic look she had on her face.
You gave her a slight smile before shaking your head, “It’s okay. But what’re you doing up right now, Nat? You should be asleep, you need to rest.”
She dipped her head down to press multiple kisses to the skin of your neck, “I could ask you the same question because so do you.”
You should’ve known you wouldn’t be able to leave the warmth of your shared bed without her noticing.
“I just couldn’t sleep.” you said, making her eyebrows furrow as you opened your water bottle and took a sip. “But I know you’re still tired so you should go back to bed, I’ll be there soon.”
“No, not without you.” Natasha was quick to disagree, “What’s going on, dorogaya (darlin)? You were yawning quite a bit before we went to bed. Why can’t you sleep?” she rested her chin on your shoulder, ready to listen to what you had to say.
You sighed realizing that you were going to have to have this conversation now. Your shoulders shrugged, “I don’t know.” was all you offered.
Natasha stayed quiet, giving you the floor for when you were ready to add on. A moment later, you did.
“I haven’t really gotten any decent sleep recently, so I’m not sure why I can’t fall asleep or why I’m not tired.”
Your girlfriend pecked your shoulder blade, acknowledging that she heard you.
“How long has this been going on for?” she asked.
For a second you went quiet, not exactly wanting to answer when you remembered that now that she knew, she wasn’t going to let it go until she made it better.
“Since we left the states.” you admitted.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Once again, you shrugged your shoulders, “I didn’t want to worry you.” you said. “You already have a lot on your plate with this whole situation and I didn’t want to add more to it.”
You heard Natasha sigh and now you appreciated that fact that you weren’t standing face to face at the moment.
“I guess I’m thinking too much.” you added. “At night I finally get the time to actually think about stuff, and I worry about you and if you’re going to be okay.”
Natasha was also glad you weren’t standing face to face right now because if you were, you would’ve seen the way her lips pulled into a smile.
“Well if you’re going to worry about me then I think I have every right to worry about you.” she chuckled and you fought back a smile at it.
“I’m sorry.” you said.
She didn’t say anything for a few moments until you heard her soft voice with that hint of rasp speak up.
“Look at me, krasivyy (beautiful).”
You craned your neck to see green eyes which were filled to the brim with love and tenderness staring at you, the singular warm light above the kitchen sink allowing her to see your sad ones.
The frustration that’d been building up in you beginning to melt away ever so slightly.
“I want you to talk to me about what you’re going through.” Natasha spoke. “I don’t care about what you think I might have going on, you’re always my first priority, okay?”
You nodded as she raised a hand to caress your cheek, brushing a hair behind your ear in the process.
“I love you too much to have you worrying that pretty little head of yours all alone when I’m always right here for you.” she pressed her lips to your temple to emphasize her point. “So promise me next time you’ll tell me if somethings wrong?”
“I promise, and I love you too, Nat.”
“Good,” Natasha smiled and leaned in to connect your lips in a loving kiss, pulling away shortly after and leaning her forehead against yours. “I’m going to be okay, so there’s no need to worry. We’re both gonna be okay, yeah?”
“Yeah,” you agreed. You knew Natasha would make sure of that.
“Alright, do you think you’re ready to head back to bed?”
You weren’t sure how to answer that. Even though you were relieved Natasha knew now and you talked about it, you still weren’t even close to being able to go to sleep.
“No,” you spoke quietly. “I’m still not really tired, and I honestly don’t know if I will be until this all blows over.”
Natasha went silent for a few moments, thinking. She turned you around to face her and moved your arms to wrap around her shoulders.
“Nat, what are you—”
“Shhh,” she interrupted your sentence, “Just trust me.”
So you did.
Her arms snaked back around your waist and pulled you into her. You weren’t exactly sure what she was doing until she began swaying with you from one side to the other.
You’d danced together before, but at Tony’s many parties. Not when you were trying to make yourself fall asleep.
“Nat, I don’t think—”
“You’re supposed to be trusting me. Do you not?”
“I do, but—”
“So shhh,” she said and you couldn’t help the little giggle you let out. “You said you were thinking too much, right?”
“Yeah.” you confirmed.
“So just relax and let me do all the thinking. I don’t want you to worry about anything except trusting me.”
“Okay.” you whispered, giving in and resting your cheek on her shoulder, allowing her to move you.
A few seconds later Natasha began humming. It wasn’t a song that you knew, but you recognized it as one of the many Russian lullabies she’s hummed and sometimes sang to you before.
The way she hummed them always made you feel relaxed and peace, and this time was no different. Because soon you started to lean into her more as you became more and more weary.
Your heavy eyelids fell shut and your head found security in her neck as you cuddled closer to it, happily letting her comforting scent soothe you.
After a couple of songs, Natasha finally looked at you to find you pretty much sound asleep.
She grinned to herself and pecked your head before lifting you into her arms, making her way back to your bedroom.
“Told you to trust me.”
~ end ~
#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha marvel#natasha romanoff x fem!reader#natasha romanov#natasha romanoff mcu#natasha fanfic#natasha x reader#natasha romanoff fanfic#natasha x you#natasha x y/n#natasha alianovna romanova
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Audience of One pt.3
Satoru x fem!reader x Suguru
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
Word count: 6.5k
Series Summary: When Suguru first walked in on you and Satoru having sex, it was an accident. But he couldn't say the same about every time after that. He's under the impression that this habit of his is a secret. But you and Satoru have known this whole time and didn't plan on letting Suguru know anytime soon.
pt.3 Info: MDNI 18+, fem!reader, PiV sex, unprotected sex, voyeurism, threesome/throuple, cuck Gojo, hair pulling, morning sex, squirting, praise/degradation kink, spanking, begging, pet names (princess, baby, love, etc), established relationship w Gojo, aftercare, basically 90% porn 10% fluff, Gojo teaching Geto how to fuck you, Geto is no longer shy
pt.1 pt.2 pt.4
˚₊ · »-♡→ I know I said I'd post pt.3 yesterday, but I panicked and rewrote like half of it (oops lol). BUT- I'm much happier w this version 🛐
Also not sure if this would be a good place to end?? or if more parts would be wanted ¿ I would be more than happy to turn this into a series and I even have a pt.4 in the works, but I also don't want this to feel dragged on yk. Please lmk your thoughts because I am incapable of making my own decisions (ノ ° 益 °) ノ
Early hours of the morning came, and the first one awake was Geto. He looked down at you and his breath caught in his throat.
You looked so peaceful.
So angelic.
He couldn't help but press a soft kiss to your forehead.
His mind wandered to last night and he smiled. Everything was perfect. The feeling of your bare body was warm and inviting, and having you pressed against him sent sparks down his spine. Geto had never felt this way before.
He could get used to this.
"Hey," a sleepy voice whispered from beside him, startling him out of his trance.
Geto turned to see a very disheveled Gojo looking at him through half closed eyes, "Hey,"
Gojo’s attention shifted to your resting figure, still curled up against Geto's chest. He couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face.
"She's really out," he whispered with a small chuckle.
"Yeah," Geto replied, "we wore her out."
"Damn right we did," Gojo smiled proudly, "I'd like to see how long it takes to wear her out next time," Geto's eyebrows raised at the mention of a 'next time.'
Seeing the surprised expression, Gojo smiled and reached over, and landed a playful punch on Geto's shoulder, "I meant it when I said you're welcome anytime- In fact, I was thinking, would you want to do this again? Not just the sex, I mean, I that part too, but like, all of it. Hanging out and stuff," he clarified, a hint of embarrassment in his voice, “It just seems like there’s good chemistry between us,” he added trying to explain his reasoning with a gesture that circled the three of you.
Geto thought for a moment, contemplating his answer.
Last night was the best night of his life. And he didn't want it to end. He wanted to be able to feel your warmth against him again and again. To be able to see your beauty, and to experience all the joy and happiness that came along with it.
The events of last night unlocked something deep within him. His desires had surpassed mere lust, and turned into something more. Something deeper.
Something genuine.
And with that revelation, Geto decided to take a leap of faith. "I'd like that," he replied, a bit of nervous enthusiasm coming out in his tone.
Smirking, Gojo nodded and moved to brush stray pieces of hair out of your sleeping face. "Great. Well, I guess we'll have to have a real conversation about this once she's up," he nodded down at you, "but for now, we should probably get some more sleep."
"Yeah," Geto nodded, a smile creeping onto his lips.
With that, the two men fell back into a comfortable slumber, their arms gently wrapped around you.
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
A few hours later your eyes began to flutter open, thick with blurriness from the heavy sleep you were just in.
Once your vision cleared, you were met with the sight of Gojo's sleeping figure beside you. His hair was a mess, sticking out in every direction. The sunlight was peeking through the curtains, casting a glow on his bare skin.
Turning to your left, Geto lay fast asleep. His features were relaxed, and his mouth hung slightly open. You couldn't help but admire his beauty.
You couldn't believe how lucky you were. Laying between these gods that walked among men.
You didn't want this moment to end.
Lifting yourself slightly to yawn and stretch, you accidentally hit Geto in the face, waking him. "Oops- I’m so sorry!" you giggled and flashed him an apologetic smile.
"It’s okay, beautiful," seemingly unphased by your elbow making contact his forehead, he smiled, leaning down to press a kiss on your cheek, “Good morning,”
The gesture was unexpectedly warm and sweet. Not that Geto had never been sweet to you before, but this just felt… different. Like it carried a new weight behind it.
You smiled and leaned into the kiss, "Morning," you murmured back, your voice still laced with sleep.
Geto's heart skipped a beat at the sight of your smile. He just couldn’t get over the warmth you radiated.
You felt a hand slide up your side and rest on your waist. "And what about me?" Gojo pouted.
Turning to face him you placed a soft kiss on his lips and mumbled into it, "Hello, baby," He hummed in satisfaction and scooted in closer, not wanting to leave even the slightest gap between you.
“How did you sleep?” Geto asked while massaging your neck that was tense after the events of last night.
"Mmm, so good," you replied, letting out a small sigh as the tension left your shoulders. You could practically feel the aches melting and your muscles turning to malleable putty under his touch.
"I'm glad," he smiled, continuing to rub his thumb into the knots of your skin.
"And you?" You asked, turning to look at him.
"Wonderfully," he smiled, his hands not stopping their massage. You couldn't help the way your cheeks heated up from this simple interaction.
God, his man was truly a treasure.
Gojo watched the interaction and felt a warmth spread through his chest. He liked seeing that you brought out Geto's soft side, and he knew that you enjoyed it too. The three of you stayed like that for a few minutes, silently enjoying each other's company.
Then, Gojo let out a dramatic sigh, and broke the silence.
"Hey, so," he started, looking between you and his friend, "Suguru and I talked earlier," Your brow furrowed at the tone in his voice. He sounded nervous.
Perking up, you raised a brow at him, "Oh?" You questioned.
"Mhm, we had a very productive conversation," Gojo continued, "while you were asleep," he clarified, "and, we think that, well, we- um, the three of us should hang out. Like, outside of sex. Or during. Or after. I mean- not like a requirement, just an option, if you're comfortable," he rambled.
You blinked.
Your face twisted with confusion as you tried to process his words. "Toru, what are you talking about?" you questioned, needing clarification.
"I want to date you too," Geto cut to the chase, his voice surprisingly steady and confident, "you would be with both of us. At the same time."
You stared at him.
Your brain was blank.
You breathed out a surprised, "Oh," The thought of it was interesting and foreign, though, not unwelcome.
"Only if you're comfortable with it," Gojo quickly added, "we know it's a bit... unconventional."
"A bit?" you asked sarcastically with a small laugh.
Gojo laughed and nodded, "Okay, a lot," he admitted, "but, we talked, and we agree. We want this," he said, motioning between the three of you, "Geto has clearly developed something for you, and vice versa. And I figured what better solution than adding Suguru to our relationship?"
You sat in silence for a few moments, mulling over the situation.
"It wouldn't be weird to you?" you asked Gojo with a concerned expression, "sharing me with your best friend?"
"Not if it's Suguru," he replied without hesitation, "we know each other well, and I trust him with my life. Plus- if it was, I would have never been able to enjoy the sight of my best friend eating out the woman I love, right?" he added with a teasing smirk, referencing the events of last night.
Your eyes widened and your cheeks flushed with embarrassment, "Satoru!" you scolded.
Gojo laughed and pulled you in for a quick kiss. "It's true," he whispered against your lips.
Turning to Geto, you gave him a questioning glance, "And you're okay with this?" you asked, wanting to make sure he was certain.
"Yes," he answered without a moment of hesitation.
"You would really want this?" you questioned, "It wouldn't be weird for you?"
Geto let out a chuckle, "I wouldn't be offering if it was weird for me. I'm not going to lie, it's a little unconventional," he stated, "but, I would love the chance to be with you- even if it's not the traditional way," his confession caused a wave of butterflies to erupt in your stomach.
You thought for some time. The two men waited patiently, knowing that you would need a few minutes to process everything.
Assessments of the situation swirled in your mind. You loved Gojo and the life you had with him. And you wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize it. But they both seemed so certain. They said they trusted each other, and if that was the case then why shouldn't you?
And on top of that, you couldn’t deny how Geto made you feel. Last night was clearly more than a one time deal. It was deeper than just sex, it was intimate. The way he touched you and admired you all night had chills running down your spine from just thinking about it.
The more you thought about it, the more appealing the idea became.
Being able to be with both of them was a dream come true. They were both kind, generous, and made you feel like the most precious thing in the world.
"If you aren't comfortable with this-" Gojo began, but was quickly cut off.
"I want to," you said quietly, "but what if something goes wrong?"
Gojo and Geto exchanged a quick look and burst out laughing.
That was certainly not the response you were expecting when airing your worries. "What's so funny?!" You asked, a bit irritated that they were laughing at your valid concerns.
"Baby," Gojo chuckled, "have you not seen the shit we've been through together? We'll be fine.”
Crossing your arms in defense you Looked between the two of them, "But still- What if you guys get jealous, or something goes wrong and we stop talking, or- or-"
Pressing a finger to your lips, Gojo silenced your anxious ramblings, "Shh, baby," he whispered sweetly with a reassuring smile, "We've got each other's backs. Plus, I'll kick Suguru's ass if he makes you upset," he joked.
Geto laughed and nodded, "I'd do the same," he added, causing a small giggle to slip past your lips.
You gave them an unsure smile, "I know you say that nothing will happen, but what if something does?" you countered, looking between them for an answer.
Gojo took your hands in his and looked you dead in the eyes. "Nothing will go wrong," he said, his voice now serious and full of promise.
"I'll make sure of it," he stated, a fire in his eyes, "Suguru will too."
A heavy sigh escaped your lips and you turned to Geto with a silent question in your eyes. "I'm not gonna let either of us fuck this up," he affirmed, reading the concern behind your gaze.
"We want to make this work," Gojo added, "And besides, do you really think I would put the best pussy of my life at risk?" He squeezed your side, making you let out a giggle.
You gave him a playful shove, "Shut up, idiot,"
"It's true!" He laughed and caught your wrist, pulling you in and placing a kiss on your temple.
"He's right though," Geto smirked, "last night was the best experience of my life. And that’s saying a lot considering I didn’t even fuck you."
Your cheeks heated and you let out a flustered laugh, "So you're in this for the sex, is that what I'm hearing?" you teased, poking Geto in the ribs.
He caught your hand and pulled it to his lips, planting a kiss on your knuckles. "No, sweet girl, its more than that." he said, looking down at you with a tender smile, "I'm in this for you- you know that."
The way his tone softened and his eyes gleamed was enough to make you melt.
And without wasting another moment you looked between the two men and nodded, "I'm in," you stated confidently, "if the two of you are."
Both their faces lit up at your confirmation, and the smile on their faces was bright enough to blind a person.
"Hell yeah!" Gojo cheered and wrapped his arms around you, "we're gonna make this work," he said, placing kisses all over your face. Geto smiled and joined, littering kisses down your neck.
And just like that all previous worries were melted away from the tingles that rippled across your skin after each new kiss. You giggled and melted into both sets of arms that caressed and embraced you gently.
Slowly, their sweet kisses began to get more rough. More hungry.
The way their hands roamed your body and their lips nipped at your flesh sent a spark of excitement through you.
"You're gonna be all ours, aren't you, princess?" Gojo purred into your ear.
A small whimper slipped past your lips as his breath fanned your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. "Mhm," you hummed, your eyes becoming heavy with lust.
Geto's fingers traced your collarbones, moving further down and stopping just above your breast.
"And I'm gonna take such good care of you, give you everything you want," Geto promised, "you're mine too now."
His possessive words sent a jolt of heat straight to your cunt and you arched into his touch.
"Yours," you mumbled, too drunk off their affection to register what was being said.
They both let out satisfied hums.
Gojo's hands slid down your body, his fingertips grazing your nipples, before resting on your waist. "Our perfect girl," Gojo murmured and pressed a kiss to your shoulder, "you're so beautiful."
Geto's fingers dipped down into your cleavage, squeezing your breasts gently, and his lips found yours. "So obedient," he mumbled into the kiss.
You whimpered against his lips. The feeling of their hands all over your body and their praises filling your ears was intoxicating.
"Mm, fuck," Gojo groaned, grinding his erection on your ass.
Gasping into the kiss, your eyes widened and turned to him "Satoru," you whined.
"Shh, Princess," he shushed, his hands gripping your waist, "be a good girl and keep kissing Suguru while I play with you,"
Your breath hitched, but you nodded and turned back to Geto, who was looking at you with a dark lust in his eyes. And instantly, Geto's warm lips were back on yours. They felt soft and plump, like velvet pillows, and you couldn't help but melt into the sensation.
"Good girl," Gojo praised, his hands moving further down your body.
You whimpered when his hands came into contact with the bare skin of your thighs, his touch sending chills through your body.
Gojo leaned down and planted a kiss on your shoulder, then continued peppering kisses along the sensitive skin of your neck, "We're gonna keep you nice and happy, baby," Gojo promised, the vertebration of the words on your neck tickling you lightly.
Your mind was blank. All you could do was moan and let them explore your body. Geto's tongue was slowly swirling around your own. His movements were slow and gentle, taking the time to savor the feeling.
Rocking into Geto's thigh, you chased the pressure, hoping it would satiate the throbbing in your cunt.
Geto's grip tightened on your tits and he pulled back slightly, just enough to break the kiss and allow a string of spit to hang between your mouths. "This desperate already?" he smirked, his thumbs rubbing circles into the hard buds of your nipples.
"Always," Gojo smirked, "she's such a needy little slut,"
You whined and rolled your hips, the need between your thighs growing more apparent with every passing moment.
Geto's eyes flicked down to your mouth, which was parted and breathing heavier, then back up to your eyes. The sight made his cock twitch, and his gaze darkened, "Fuck, that's so hot," Geto groaned, his dick already hard. His hands moved downward to your hips, gripping to hold you still, "Be patient for us, princess."
Gojo continued his kisses along the length of your neck, his lips brushing against your skin, sending goosebumps up your arms. "She loves hearing us praise her," Gojo smirked, "she's always so desperate for any sort of validation. Drives her wild,"
The truth in his words made you whine and looked at Geto, who was staring down at you with lust-filled eyes. "Is that so?" He asked, his hands moving to cup your face.
"Yes," you breathed, leaning into his touch.
His attention turned back to Gojo, "And does she like to be degraded too?" He asked, curious, but already knew the answer.
Gojo opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off from a whimper that escaped your lips. You bit your lip, cheeks flushing with embarrassment as you avoided their eye contact.
A mischievous smirk formed on Geto's lips, "Oh?" He tilted your chin up and looked down at you, "Look at me," he demanded.
You did as instructed, your heart skipping a beat when you met his gaze.
"Tell me," he began, his thumb running over your bottom lip, "do you like being treated like a little slut?"
His question caused a rush of heat to run through your body. You could hear the blood rushing in your ears, and you could swear that your arousal was now dripping onto the sheets beneath you.
Gojo couldn't help the chuckle that slipped past his lips. Your obvious reaction to Geto's words was adorable.
"I'll take that as a yes," Geto smirked, his eyes not leaving yours as he pushed his thumb past your lips. "Although, I guess I shouldn't expect anything more from the dirty slut who would let me watch her boyfriend fuck her for months."
The humiliation that coursed through you was overwhelming, and yet, you felt more aroused than ever before. You closed your eyes and took Geto's thumb into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the digit and letting out a moan.
You were helpless to the words coming from Geto's mouth, and there was nothing you wanted more than to be completely submissive to him. It was clear to them that this new way that Geto spoke to you was making you dizzy with lust.
"Oh, you like how Suguru is talking to you right now, don’t you, princess?" Gojo smirked, watching your reactions, "He's always so polite, so gentle with you. It's a nice change, huh? Seeing him be a little mean."
You nodded and moaned around Geto's thumb, which was still resting on your tongue.
Gojo was right, you did enjoy the new change. The way Geto looked down at you with a dark glint in his eyes, his usually sweet and caring demeanor nowhere to be seen, was driving you crazy. You wanted nothing more than to be dominated by him.
To be completely and utterly destroyed by him.
"What do you think, princess? Should we have Suguru fuck you? Let him see what a dirty, slutty, cum dump, you are firsthand?" Gojo cooed, his hands roaming up and down your thighs.
You whined, and Geto withdrew his thumb, a string of saliva still connecting it to your lips. "Is that what you want?"
”Please," you begged with an embarrassing urgency, "please, please, please, let him fuck me." you turned to Gojo, who was already beginning to stroke his cock with his free hand.
"Please," you repeated, looking up at Geto with a pleading expression, "I need it, please."
"Oh, you need it, do you?" Geto cooed, "Such a pathetic little slut, begging for my cock, and you don't even know how good I can fuck you," he teased, looking down at you with a patronizing smirk.
You whimpered and looked up at him, desperation clear on your face, "Show me," you begged, "please, show me how good you can fuck me."
The corner of his mouth lifted into a smirk, "Well, since you're asking so nicely," he said, "Get on your back. Now." His demanding voice took you by surprise and you immediately followed his instructions.
You untangled your legs from his and laid back, looking up at him with wide, innocent, eyes.
"Good girl," Gojo praised, sitting beside you. He pushed your legs apart and dipped his fingers between your folds. He rubbed his hand sloppily, for his pleasure only, the goal being to collect your juices. Then, he brought it to his dick, using it to help his jerk off.
"So wet," he said, pumping his dick with your slick.
"Toru," you pleaded, arching into his touch that was no longer there.
"Shh, just sit back and let me watch Suguru fuck you, princess," Gojo soothed, his thumb running circles around his slit, mixing your wetness with his pre-cum.
The room felt like it was spinning around you, and the only thing grounding you was getting touched in the place you needed it most.
Geto positioned himself between your legs and placed his cock on your clit. You could feel the hot, throbbing, length rest on your sensitive bud and it made you shudder.
Geto's hand gripped your thigh and he spread you wider, taking in the sight before him. "God, I'm never going to get tired of that view," Geto sighed.
"Just wait until you're in her," Gojo smirked, admiring your glistening slick rub onto Geto's shaft.
He let out a hum and slid his cock between your folds, coating his dick in your wetness. You moaned, your breath hitching as the head brushed against your entrance.
Seeing how needy you were getting, Gojo moved his free hand down and spread your lips, exposing your dripping hole for Geto's viewing.
"So pretty," Geto praised, his tip prodding at your entrance.
You were soaking wet and more than ready for him, and when he slowly pushed in, a loud groan ripped through his throat as he inched deeper into your warmth.
"Oh, god, so tight," he praised, his hips pausing halfway to give you time to adjust, "so perfect."
Your hands balled into fists and you moaned loudly, the feeling of him filling you up was so overwhelming, but in the best way possible.
"Isn't she?" Gojo asked, leaning in to press kisses against your neck, "you're perfect, aren't you? The perfect little fuck toy for us, and us only- Say it."
As he continued to slowly slide in, Geto kept his eyes trained on yours, not wanting to miss a second of your reactions.
Heat rose to your cheeks under his gaze, embarrassment evident in your expression. "I- I'm," you stuttered, a small whine slipping past your lips before you could get the words out.
"Use your words," Geto commanded through clenched teeth, his grip on your thighs tightening as your cunt pulsed around him.
You whimpered and nodded, trying to collect yourself. "I- I'm a perfect fuck toy," you choked out, a mixture of craving and shame washing over you, "yours- just for the two of you,"
"Fuck- Yes, you are," Geto praised, bottoming out and giving you a few moments to adjust. You whined and clenched around him, feeling fuller than ever before.
After your muscles relaxed, you rocked lightly against Geto's cock, to show you were ready for him. Though, just that small movement had you seeing stars as his tip hit your g-spot.
Your mouth opened in a silent scream and your nails dug into the sheets, gripping tightly.
"Oh, did I find it already?" he asked patronizingly, his voice laced with sarcasm, "You must be so sensitive," You could do nothing but whimper and nod, not being able to form words.
"Fuck, do that again," Geto demanded.
You followed his instructions and rocked against him, moaning at the sensation. "Holy shit," Geto gasped, his eyes rolling back as you squeezed his cock.
Gojo watched with wide eyes, his hand slowly stroking his cock as he watched the scene unfold before him. "How does she feel?" Gojo asked with a chuckle. He already knew the answer.
Geto moaned, slowly starting to roll his hips, "Fucking heavenly," You felt a wave of satisfaction wash over you, knowing that Geto was enjoying your pussy just as much as you enjoyed his dick.
"So warm and tight," he added, picking up his pace, "I could fuck her all day,"
"Please," you whimpered, "fuck me all day,"
A satisfied smile crossed Geto's face, and without a word, he started to thrust into you at a steady pace. You gasped, feeling his cock fill you up with each push. Your walls tightened around him, trying to pull him deeper.
"Fuck," Geto groaned, "Such a greedy fucking pussy, doesn't want to let me go."
You whimpered and wrapped your legs around him, pulling him closer. His hands grabbed onto your waist and his fingers dug into the plush flesh. The room filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin, and your moans and whimpers grew louder and louder.
"Mm, look at her," Gojo cooed, "she's so fucking desperate."
"Mhm" you breathed out nodding and looking up at Geto, who was watching your every move. He looked absolutely breathtaking. His hair was a mess, his face was flushed, and his eyes were filled with desire. The sight of him looking down at you like that made your heartbeat quicken.
"You love having my cock buried deep inside of you, don't you?" he asked.
You nodded vigorously, unable to form any words, but the way your hips met his every thrust and the sounds that came out of you told him all he needed to know.
"Oh?" Geto smirked, "You need more? Fucking impatient little slut- You need me to fuck you harder?"
"Yes, please, please, please," you begged, your head falling back against the pillow.
"Such a good girl," he praised, his hand moving to rest on your lower stomach, "such a polite little whore for my cock."
He pushed lightly onto your abdomen while fucking deep into you. The pressure from his hand was foreign and had you squirming and whimpering, biting your lip to hold in your cries of pleasure.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, there! There!" You screamed, "Please, don't stop!"
Geto smirked and leaned forward, "Look at me," he demanded, his voice firm.
Your eyes shot open, not even realizing they had been closed. You stared up at him and his lust filled eyes, a look you had never seen before on his face. The sight made you instantly moan and your eyes began to roll back involuntarily.
"Keep your eyes on me," he commanded, emphasizing each word with a hard thrust.
Your jaw fell slack, and a strangled moan slipped past your lips as pleasure coursed through your veins. "S- sorry," you stuttered.
Gojo groaned and his fist picked up pace, jerking his dick in tandem with Geto's movements. "It's okay, baby, you're doing so good," he whispered, leaning forward and brushing the hair out of your face, "so good for us."
Geto's pace continued and the heat in the pit of your stomach began to build dangerously fast. "Fuck, Sugu- I- I-" you stuttered, struggling to form a coherent sentence.
"You're so close already, aren't you?" He cooed, his eyes not leaving yours.
You nodded, and a loud whine slipped past your lips as Geto's hips started to pick up speed. "Fuck," he groaned, "fuck, you're squeezing me so good, baby,"
"Gonna- Gonna cum," you managed to say through heavy breaths and muffled moans.
In response, the hand on your stomach pushed slightly deeper, and that's what threw you over the edge. The pressure had your toes curling and your back arching upwards followed by a strangled scream on your lips as you came hard.
Your vision went white, and a ringing filled your ears.
"Oh, fuck," Gojo groaned, watching your legs shake and your face display your ecstasy.
"Shit," Geto groaned, "keep cumming for me, baby, just like that- fuck!"
Gojo smirked and leaned back, admiring his two lovers. "God, the two of you are so fucking hot," he said, his hand working furiously to match the pace that Geto was now setting.
You could barely register what he said, too overwhelmed by the waves of pleasure crashing through your body. The warmth from deep in your core had overflowed, somehow finding its release- and soaking everything around you in the process.
Geto moaned loudly and looked down at your pussy, Gojo eyes followed, widening and jaw dropping.
"Holy shit," Gojo breathed out, "She's squirting," he said in awe, "fuck- I didn't even know she could do that."
Your juices were flowing freely, coating Geto's cock, balls, and the bed beneath you in a thick layer. It was as if a flood gate had opened and your arousal was pouring out of you.
"Oh, god, oh, god," Geto repeated, "you're squirting on my cock," he groaned and picked up his pace, fucking you through your orgasm, "so good, fuck- So fucking perfect."
Your mind was blank, all you could do was babble and moan, letting Geto fuck you as you rode out the last waves of your orgasm.
"Fuck," Geto growled, his hips began to stutter. "Go on, Suguru," Gojo urged, nearing his own climax, "cum in her."
Geto looked down at you, the glazed over expression on your face was enough to send him over the edge. With a final thrust he bottomed out and painted your walls with his seed, the sensation pulling a long moan from both of your lips.
You could feel his warmth spill into you, filling you up and coating your walls, and causing a brain numbing tingle to run up your spine.
Gojo wasn't far behind, his own cum coating his hand and abdomen. He pumped his shaft as the last few drops landed on his stomach. "Holy shit," he breathed out, leaning back and letting the orgasm wash over him.
"Fuck," Geto groaned, his head dropping to the crook of your neck. Both of you were completely spent, not even bothering to move or say a word. The only sounds in the room were the heavy breathing and racing heartbeats.
You could feel Geto's warm breath against your skin as he took a few deep breaths. You brought a hand up and gently ran it through his hair, scratching his scalp lightly.
The gesture was simple, but it made his heart melt, grounding him from the high he just experienced.
"That was fucking hot," Gojo praised, "You're both so fucking sexy. I loved seeing you two together."
"So good, my beautiful, perfect, angel," he continued, placing kisses on your forehead and cheek, "you did so well,"
You turned to him and smiled lazily, enjoying the praise. Geto looked up and admired your blissed out expression. "You look so pretty like this, sweetheart," he murmured, pressing a kiss to your cheek, "so gorgeous."
You leaned into his touch and hummed, your eyes fluttering, half lidded in tranquility.
Gojo chuckled and placed a kiss on your temple, "Don't get too comfortable, princess, we still need to clean up."
"I'm not leaving this bed," you mumbled, closing your eyes completely and nuzzling into the pillow.
"You're so spoiled," he chuckled and turned to his friend, "Help me out here, man."
"Sorry, baby," Geto apologized, kissing your nose, "he's right, we need to get you cleaned up," You groaned and nodded, accepting defeat. Geto slowly pulled out and stood up.
"Come here, my sweet, precious, girl," Gojo said, lifting you off the bed, bridal style, "Let's go take care of you."
You giggled and wrapped your arms around his neck. "M'kay," you replied, resting your head on his chest. Gojo carried you into the bathroom, and Geto followed closely behind. He sat you down on the toilet and you leaned against the wall, closing your eyes.
Once Geto entered, he turned on the bath faucet and waited for the water to warm.
"Do you wanna use a bath bomb, princess?" Gojo offered, reaching into the cabinet under the sink. "Ooh yes, please," you nodded opening your eyes with a tired smile on your lips.
A bright grin spread across Gojo's face from seeing you perk up, "Okay!" He exclaimed, grabbing one of your favorites and tossing it into the bath.
The sweet smell of citrus quickly filled the air, and the sight of the bubble bath and colorful fizzies had you feeling relaxed like never before.
Geto shut the water off and walked over to you. He knelt down and cupped your cheek, his thumb running over the soft skin. "How are you feeling, sweet girl?" He asked, a small smile on his lips.
You hummed and leaned into his touch, "Amazing," you replied.
He chuckled and kissed your forehead, "Good."
After all of the residue made its way out of you, you cleaned up and Gojo lifted you into the bath. He settled in behind you, wrapping his arms around you, and pulling you back to his chest.
"Is the temperature okay, princess?" Geto asked, sitting in the opposite side of the tub.
You hummed, closing your eyes and resting your head on Gojo's chest. "Perfect,"
"Good, we want you to be comfortable," Geto said, smiling.
"Thank you," you mumbled, snuggling into Gojo's chest.
It was a little crammed and you guys probably should have showered beforehand, but in that moment it was perfect and everything you could ever need.
The three of you had become comfortable and content.
As if that's how things had always been
Gojo was playing with the bubbles and making shapes with them on top of your head, while Geto was helping to wash the sweat off of your skin, his fingertips running gently along the curves of your body.
It felt so normal and domestic, and that's exactly what you had always wanted.
"So, how does this feel?" Gojo asked, reaching behind him to grab a loofah, "Is it weird? Being the meat in a Gojo and Geto sandwich?"
You choked on your breath and your eyes shot open, "Ew! It wasn't weird until you said that! Gross," you said, giggling and shaking your head.
"Yeah, Satoru, why'd you have to word it like that?" Geto asked, chuckling and chastising his friend.
"Oh, come on, don't be like that. It was funny!" Gojo laughed, running the loofah across your back, "Now answer the question."
"No, it doesn't feel weird," you replied, a smile on your lips, "I mean, yeah, we haven't done a lot yet, but I'm happy, and I like being with both of you."
"Yeah," Gojo agreed, "it's different, obviously, but, I'm glad it's the three of us. I love the dynamic, it feels like... home. Like the three of us were always meant to be together. Me and my two favorite people!" He threw his arms around your neck, his hands falling just above your chest.
You looked at Geto and he had the most genuine, loving smile on his face. "I couldn't agree more," he said, reaching out to take your hand in his. His hand was warm and comforting, and the way his thumb was rubbing circles into the skin had a warm tingle running up your arm.
Gojo was right, it did feel like home.
A warm, safe, comforting, home.
It was a strange situation, one that you never would have imagined yourself in. But at the same time you knew that the three of you would be able to make it work.
The three of you stayed in the bath for a little while longer, laughing, teasing, and joking, and eventually Gojo and Geto switched places. When the water began to get cold and the bubbles began to disappear, Gojo lifted you out of the bath and brought you back to the bed.
He gently laid you down and dried you off, pressing kisses all over your skin.
Geto emerged from the bathroom and watched the two of you. He could see how much Gojo cared for you, and how you trusted and loved him. It was a sight that made his heart flutter and he could only hope to have that deep of a connection with you one day.
"You're so cute," Gojo cooed, placing the towel over your head and rubbing it gently.
"Toru," you whined, the feeling tickling your scalp, "you're going to make my hair frizzy!"
"Shhh, let me enjoy this," he chuckled, moving the towel and planting a kiss on your forehead, "I love taking care of you, and seeing you so relaxed. Plus, I think your hair is adorable no matter what, and I know Sugu does too,"
Turning to Geto in the doorway, you pouted and tilted your head to Gojo, "Help me out here," you pleaded.
Geto couldn't help but smile. "He's right, sweet girl," he chuckled, walking towards the bed, "I think your hair is gorgeous no matter what," He pulled you into his chest for an embrace, but then scruffled your hair, catching you off guard.
"Hey!" You yelped, pulling away from him and trying to flatten your hair, "not you too!"
They both let out a laugh. "Sorry, baby," Geto apologized, leaning forward and pressing a kiss on the crown of your head.
"Traitor," you mumbled, earning a chuckle from Gojo and Geto.
"I'm gonna get dressed, I'll be right back," Geto said, reluctantly pulling away from the scene, "then, how about I make us a late breakfast?" You nodded and gave him a small smile.
"I knew there was a good reason to keep you around," Gojo teased, earning a slap on the shoulder from Geto before he walked off, "Ouch! Hey!"
Laughing you shook your head at Gojo's dramatic performance of pretending to be hurt by rubbing his shoulder, "I'm so wounded," he joked, flopping onto the bed beside you, "you're gonna have to kiss it better," he winked with a smirk.
"Maybe later," you giggled, giving him a peck on the cheek.
"Fine, fine," he scoffed, rolling his eyes and sitting up.
He smiled as he jumped off the bed and threw on a pair of sweatpants, "Come on, baby," he said, holding a hand out for you, "I'll pick out an outfit for you." You happily accepted and followed him over to your dresser, ready to start your day.
#stsg x reader#goge x reader#gojo smut#gojo satoru smut#gojo x reader smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#jjk smut#jjk x reader smut#jjk gojo satoru#jjk gojo#gojo satoru x you#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo smut#satoru gojo x you#gojo x you#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jjk x reader#getou suguru x reader#suguru geto smut#geto smut#geto x reader#suguru x reader#fartfatherwrites#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo x geto x reader#gojo satoru x geto suguru x reader
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More ATLA/LOK Incorrect quotes
GN reader, unless stated otherwise
Bolin, propping his feet on the table: So, I heard you like bad boys?
Y/n: What? No.
Bolin, taking his feet off the table: Oh thank God, that felt terrible.
-
Lin: Whats this?
Y/n, hugging her: Affection.
Lin: Disgusting.
Lin:…
Lin: Do it again.
-
Bolin: Wow, your legs look amazing in those pants!
Y/n: You should see me without them.
Bolin: Without.. legs?
-
Sokka: What did you make for Y/n?
Zuko, staring at the burnt food: Regret.
-
Korra, holding kettle: Coffee or tea?
Y/n: Tea.
Korra: Wrong! Its coffee.
-
Bolin, talking about y/n: My crush isn’t picking up on any of my hints.
Mako: What hints have you given them?
Bolin: I think about them.. a lot.
Bolin: And sometimes I think about talking to them.
-
Y/n: Mako?
Mako: What?
Y/n: Are you asleep?
Mako: Who the fuck did you think said ‘what’?
-
Y/n, waking up: Am I dead?
[Sees Asami next to them]
Y/n: Is this heaven?
Korra, bangs on door: Open up, fuckers its me Korra
Y/n, tearing up: I always knew I’d end up in hell.
-
Lin: Having trouble figuring out who knows Korra the best?
Asami: Its me!
Bolin: Its me!
Mako: Its me!
Y/n:..
Y/n: It’s probably not me.
-
Y/n: Time for plan G.
Mako: Wait- don’t you mean plan B?
Y/n: No we did plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over C because of some technical difficulties.
Asami: What about plan D?
Y/n: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Bolin: And plan E?
Y/n: Im hoping not to use it, I die in plan E.
Korra: I like plan E.
-
Y/n: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them?
Mako: Well, what do you do?
Y/n: I die? Pfft- What kinda question..
-
Y/n: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and it died.
Y/n: Then I started thinking. It was just trying to get food.
Y/n: Like, what if I went to the fridge to get something to eat and it slammed the door on me and broke my neck?
Y/n: Howw would I feel?
Mako: Are you ok?
-
Bolin: What does ‘take out’ mean?
Mako: Food.
Asami: Dating.
Korra: Murder.
Y/n: IT COULD MEAN ALL THREE IF YOURE NOT A FUCKING COWARD!
-
Korra: You’re a little obsessed with yourself aren’t you?
Y/n: Well if im not who else is gonna be?
-
[Y/n, throws bread at turtleducks]
Y/n: Do not forget this act of altruism. If I am ever in trouble, I expect you and your brethren to come to my aid. Do not forget.
-
Y/n: You’re the love of my life, I’d do anything for you.
Asami: I want you to take care of yourself and get enough sleep.
Y/n: Absolutely not.
-
Asami: My boyfriend is too tall to kiss, what should I do?
Korra: Punch him in the gut, then when he leans down kiss him.
Bolin: Tackle him
Y/n: Dump him, be with me.
Lin, passing by: Kick him in the shin.
Mako: Please don’t do any of those.
-
[Korra, sneaks into house at 2 am]
Mako, turns in swivel chair: Care to explain where you were?
Korra: Uhh.. I was out with Y/n.
Y/n, also turns around in another swivel chair: Care to- [chair wont stop turning] Mako- I cant stop the chair-
-
Bolin, after making Y/n mad: You wont hit me, I have witnesses.
Y/n: Mako. Asami. Turn around.
[Both Mako and Asmai turn around]
Bolin, scared: M-Mako? Asami?
-
Y/n: So whats Zukos type?
Sokka: Y/c eyes, kind, oblivious, good sense of humour, turtleduck lover.
Y/n: Damn, sounds kind of like me. Too bad we’re just friends though.
Sokka: Did I mention oblivious?
Y/n: Yeah why?
Sokka: Just making sure.
#lok#atla#lgbt#atla x reader#asami x reader#zuko x reader#bolin x reader#x reader#mako x reader#korra x reader
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NEEDLES
matt sturniolo x reader
warnings; mentions of needles, being anxious
using my personal experience for this one (kinda).
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i was in the hospital with covid. matt has been with me the entire time, ignoring my protests for him to go home. i've been here for 2 days already, and honestly, there was no sign of me going home anytime soon.
i looked over to see matt asleep, in what looked like a very uncomfortable position, in an uncomfortable chair. i sighed to myself, he should be at home sleeping in his own bed. it's a lot more comfortable.
i turned on the tv and watched it for a little while, and then i heard movement next to me, i looked over and matt was stretching. "hi baby," he smiled. "how long have you been up?" he asked. "maybe like half an hour? you looked uncomfortable baby, why don't you go home and sleep somewhere comfortable?" i asked him.
"and leave you here alone? no, i'm okay." he said. "but-" "y/n, baby, you're scared of doctors, and anything that has to do with them, im staying here, im not gonna leave you here alone to be scared," he said, grabbing my hand.
"fine," i sighed, squeezing his hand. we heard a knock on the door, and a nurse came in. "hello y/n, how you feeling?" she asked. "okay," i smiled. "good, okay so, we have to run a few tests, which means we have to take some blood from you," she said, and i tensed up.
"how much?" i asked. "we're probably gonna take a few syringes full," she said and i nodded. "the nurse should be in soon, i just wanted to give you a heads up," she smiled at me, before leaving. i looked over at matt, and he was already looking at me.
"it's okay, you'll be okay, i'm right here," he said, getting up, walking over to me. "see? and you wanted me to go home," he smirked. "shut up," i told him. a few minutes later, there was another knock on the door, and another nurse came in.
"alright, y/n, you ready? we'll get it done and over with real quick," she said, and i hesitated, but nodded. i saw her lay everything out next to me, i saw the needles and i started panicking. "baby, baby, you're okay, look at me," matt told me.
"shes afraid of needles," matt told the nurse, and she nodded. "that's okay! this will only take like a minute y/n, i promise," she said. "keep looking at me baby, don't even look over there," matt said while the nurse was wrapping that plastic thing around my arm. "matt," i said.
"you're okay," he said, moving the hair out of my face with his hand. "i'm right here," he reminded. i felt a poke in my arm and went to look, but matt took his hand to make me look at him.
"one done, i just need 2 more," the nurse said. i felt another poke in my arm, and this time i looked over before matt could stop me, and my eyes widened. "y/n," he said, making me look at him. "you're almost done, it's okay," he said. "you're doing great y/n! one more," she said, and once again, i felt another poke in my arm.
"and you're all done!" she said, pulling the needle out, and taking the plastic thing off of my arm. i looked over and saw 3 syringes of my blood, and i wanted to throw up, pass out, cry.
"do you need anything?" the nurse asked as she cleaned up. "no, i'm okay," i mumbled. "okay, we'll be back in a little bit to check on you," she smiled at me and matt, before leaving.
"im so proud of you baby, i told you you'd be okay," he smiled at me, leaning down to kiss my forehead. "i love you," i mumbled, i wasn't a very happy camper right now. "i love you, pretty girl," he kissed my forehead again.
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tags:
@stayingstromboli
#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo fluff#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo fluff#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo fluff#sturniolo triplets#chris sturiolo fanfic#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo x reader#matt stuniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#nick sturniolo x you#nick sturniolo x reader#sturniolo#sturniolo smut#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo imagines#sturnioloimagines#sturnioloimagine
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[[and then I met you || ch. 10]]
Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit
Summary:
A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to protect his new family from not only Hell's Kitchen but from the world.
pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9
Words: 4.2k
banner thanks to the wonderful @theradioactivespidergwen
When Minnie was six months old, you used to sleep on the couch so you wouldn't wake her up trying to get ready for bed. It would hurt your back - your couch was not very comfortable to sleep on - but you would sacrifice your comfort so she could sleep. No one in their right mind would wake a sleeping baby - even one that was always happy to go down for a nap.
As your mind begins to stir, you become aware of the familiar ache in your lower back and the unfamiliar one pulsing around your eyes. Your hand slowly snakes up from where you had curled it against your chest and press your fingers along the bridge of your nose and up to the curve of your eyebrow, testing to see if the throbbing was sinus related. Nothing is triggered but your memories of the night before creep into your consciousness.
Minnie with her tantrum and Matt with his amazing senses.
You groan into the cushion as it all falls into place. Your eyes hurt from crying, not your sinuses, and you must have fallen asleep on the couch after your breakdown.
Shame and embarrassment course through you. You hate crying and you hate that someone witnessed it. You can't imagine what he must think of you now - losing it like that. You should have been able to handle the news far better than you had and you're going to promptly apologize the next time you talk to him. You had acted so selfishly when it was clear he had control over the situation.
But you don't have time to sit and wallow in your wretchedness - your daughter needs you to get up and be a capable adult, so you will your aching body to sit up.
Your phone is sitting on the table in front of you, so you grab it to check the time. It's half past seven and your daughter has probably been awake for at least an hour. More shame courses through you - you always try to wake up before her so you can take care of her. You can only guess what state she is in.
Your head spins as you stand, but you try to ignore it in favor of heading towards the bedroom. You prepare yourself to find a soiled bed - you didn't bother to change her into her night clothes and a pull-up and she is still mastering waking up when she needs to pee at night.
The door is partially open and as you near it, you hear her tiny voice talking nonsense as she plays with something. You take a deep breath and push into the room, ready to face the start of your day.
Your mind short-circuits at what you encounter.
Both beds are clean and made, far tidier than you usually make them, and Minnie is sat on the floor with Scooby and some of her other stuffed animals, having what looks to be a tea party. To your absolute confusion, she is already dressed, and her hair has been put into pigtails with mismatched bows. You know for a fact she can't reach where you keep her hair supplies - you put them on a high shelf after she got into them to play salon before and managed to get her hair tangled so badly you had to cut things out.
It doesn't even take her half a second to notice you and her little face breaks into the biggest smile, “Mommy!”
Still very much confused, you step forward to join the tea party circle and kneel down to be level with her. “Hi, sweetie,” you greet, trying your best to not alarm her. “Did you get dressed all by yourself?”
“Not-uh! Mister Matt helped! We watched lots of videos about hair and he made me pretty!”
You frown at that, “Mister Matt helped?” Had he stayed the night after you fell asleep? If so, where is he now? Your apartment isn't that big, and the bathroom door is open. Had he left before you woke up? You don’t like the idea of him leaving Minnie unsupervised.
Your daughter nods as she turns back to her toys, pretending to pour you a cup of tea and handing it over. You automatically pretend to take a sip.
“He helped make me pretty,” she confirms after putting her tea pot down, “now he's getting foods. Bagels!”
You turn the statement over in your mind - there is a bagel shop around the corner Minnie loves and if Matt is right about her also having enhanced abilities, maybe, just maybe, he didn't leave her unwatched.
You bite your lip, then dare to push.
“Mouse, do you think you can tell me where Mister Matt is right now? Can you hear him?”
She doesn't acknowledge you right away, fussing with another piece of her tea set. You wait, allowing her to process what is being asked of her and watch as she slowly starts to move her head in minute movements, like she's tracking something. It's terrifying and fascinating to see a look of concentration come over her face and after about thirty seconds, she breaks into another big smile.
“He's talking to a frog!”
“A frog..?” You ask, wondering if Matt was wrong about Minnie having heightened senses and she's playing pretend again.
“Yeah, he says…he says.. He's telling froggy he can't go to work. He's gonna stay with us!”
It clicks instantly. Matt isn't talking to a frog. He's talking to his business partner, Foggy Nelson, and as far as you know, Matt hasn't mentioned him or Karen yet by name to Minnie.
“Can you tell where he is?” You ask again, being sure to be gentle with your question.
“Outside,” is her response, like it is the most obvious thing in the world. “Froggies can't come inside. Do you want sugar?” She holds up her toy spoon and you offer her your tea cup.
“Yes, please.”
She pretends to scoop sugar and you watch her in amazement. You are of course going to have to confirm that Matt was talking to Foggy, but it is so hard to believe your little one can hear that. You can't hear what is going on in your own living room, let alone outside your apartment. You cannot imagine how loud everything must be, how much input Mouse must be getting - but she doesn't seem bothered by it at all right now.
She seems to be completely over her tantrum from yesterday and you want to ask her about it, but you aren't sure how or if she has the ability to express it. You know there are days you get overwhelmed and upset and you can't think of another way to explain it other than “too much”. You can't expect a three year old to articulate it better than you can.
She's got a sweet little smile and part of you fears if you bring up her previous upset, it will spiral right back into a meltdown. So, you watch instead - watch as she goes back to playing make pretend with her toys, seemingly unbothered. You sip at your tea, making up a list of questions for Matt when he returns from his errand.
Minnie plays for about five minutes before she perks up, beaming up at you, “Mister Matt asks if you can open the door, please thank you."
Her statement throws you for a moment and you aren't sure how much you like the idea of her being able to tell you all these things. It scares you - her knowing things you don't and not knowing what she does know.
Maybe it is one of the things you and Matt can talk about - then talk about it with your sweet Mouse. You are going to have to get used to it, either way.
You push yourself into standing and motion for Minnie to come along. She scrambles up and runs out of the room, delighted laughter following her.
You are still in your clothes from the night before and you wish you had taken a moment to check your hair or even brush your teeth. You try to tell yourself it is fine, but your anxiety just argues back, and you feel like a complete slob by the time you get to the front door.
Your stomach and heart both do a funny clench at the sight of Matt, who is still sporting his borrowed shirt. You don't know if you want to fall into his arms or throw up or go hide under your covers so you can pretend all of this is a dream. Instead, you step aside so he can come inside and silently beg your mind to stop collapsing in on itself.
“Breakfast delivery,” Matt says as a greeting, his entire face lighting up with a smile. He's holding a bag from the shop around the corner in one hand and a drink carrier with two large drinks along with a small one in his other.
You can feel your face starting to heat up and force your eyes down to the ground, mumbling, “you didn't need to do that.”
He shrugs as he toes off his shoes, “I wanted to, and someone,” his voice turns teasing as he directs his next comments to Minnie, “wouldn't stop talking about bagels.”
Your daughter erupts into giggles, then turns and runs back towards the kitchen. Matt gives a pleased laugh, and your stomach flips again. He follows Minnie, and after you relock the door, you join them.
They are sitting at the dining table, Mouse watching with a big smile as bagels are laid out on the table. Matt narrates for both of you, “Three egg bagels with plain cream cheese, two large coffees, and one kid’s hot chocolate. Now, is that the right order or was someone taking advantage?”
Minnie giggles more and that relaxes your shoulders. “No, that's right. Thank you, you really didn't -” You cut yourself off as you realize the table is clear of any mess from the night before. There are no plates on the table or in the sink, there's no lasagna stains on the floor, there's no leftovers sitting out. Your eyes drift to Matt.
He must have cleaned after you had fallen asleep. Guilt courses through you - he shouldn't have to be dealing with your messes, especially in your own living space. You are going to need to not only apologize but return the favor somehow. You aren't sure how you'll do that - no one has ever done this much for you before, and Matt has done so so much in such a short time.
You're dragged from your thoughts as a coffee is placed in front of you.
“It's just black, I didn't know how you took it,” the kind, handsome lawyer says, and your heartbeat is so loud in your ears. It beats harder when you remember that not only can he hear your body and mind freaking out, but so can your daughter.
Your instinct tells you to panic at the idea of someone knowing that much about you. You always try to stay calm on the outside while having a meltdown, but that doesn't matter with him. He'll know you're a mess. You can't hide it.
You hear Matt ask Minnie something about her tea party and watch as she skips away from the table, but it's like your mind doesn't process it. You feel completely frozen because you don't know how to act - you don't know how to hide yourself from the man in front of you. You don't know how to hide yourself away from your daughter.
How can you protect her from yourself? Your own body?
Suddenly, Matt is in front of you, cupping your cheeks with his large, warm hands and whispering your name. He's practically right on top of you, gently rubbing his thumbs over your skin, “Hey, hey, it's okay. It's okay. Everything is okay. Can you take a deep breath for me?”
“What?” You ask, so confused about what is going on. You don't understand why he's saying it's okay.
“A deep breath, sweetheart. Can you take a deep breath?”
Your mind will not wrap the reason for the instruction, but you do as you are told. You inhale through your nose and that earns you a soft smile. He continues to pet you, gently instructing you to exhale after a moment and you obey.
“Again?” He prompts and you nod. You feel shaky as you try to focus on breathing. You've always hated these exercises - they've never worked for you and have only served to frustrate you, and now you are just trying to make sure you are doing it right. How embarrassing would it be to fuck up breathing in front of Matt?
“That's it,” he says so calmly, “Just breathe. I know it's a lot. I know. One step at a time. Let's have some breakfast, okay? Let's sit and have coffee and we can all talk. How's that sound?”
It sounds good, it sounds like the right thing to do, but your throat is clenching and not wanting to produce words, so you nod instead.
You close your eyes to try to center yourself and somehow calm down. Matt lingers, keeping a hold of you until you hear Minnie coming back to the kitchen. It seems like he waits until the last possible moment before pulling away.
Seeing your daughter looking so happy helps to reset your mind. She's fetched Scooby and Pig and runs up to the table to put them in their chair. You smile at the sight.
She really does seem like she's perfectly fine and maybe Matt is right and everything is okay. For now, at least.
You force yourself into action, moving to set one of the bagels in front of Mouse, setting it on a napkin. You're going to need to transfer the hot chocolate into a mug or Mouse will spill on herself.
“Thank you, Mommy!”
She practically dives into her bagel, picking it up and taking a big bite and getting cream cheese on her cheeks. She is completely engrossed with her food.
“Thank Mister Matt, he got us breakfast,” you advise before going to get a napkin. While you are in the kitchen, you grab your creamer from the fridge.
“Thank you, Mister Matt!” she chimes before barreling on. “Mommy, did you know Mister Matt can braid hairs!”
Guilt courses through you and you remind yourself you need to thank Matt for everything he has done for you. But you tell yourself to not think of it right now - you are terrified of Minnie sensing your panic and that somehow shuts your mind down and you go into parent mode.
“No, I didn't. Did you ask him to braid your hair?” You ask as you move in to wipe her face. She obediently tilts her face towards you and closes her eyes as you clean away the cream cheese. In the corner of your eye you see Matt sip from his coffee, a smile forming in his lips.
“She wanted puffs,” he advises, “I learned a lot of new hair terminology today. Minnie is a very good teacher.”
Your daughter preens at the praise before taking another bite of her bagel. More cream cheese gets on her face. You decide to wait until she's done eating before tidying her up again. It will be pointless otherwise.
Instead, you start to fix your coffee, removing the lid to add creamer. You eye your daughter as you do, letting yourself finally take in her appearance.
“You're a good stylist,” you tell Matt, and it is true. Her pigtails look even and as smooth as can be expected for a toddler. You don't see any tangles and if Minnie is happy, you have no grievances with the outcome - only guilt that Matt was the one who dealt with it.
“I have some experience,” he hums, before taking another sip of his coffee. Then he directs his smile to his daughter, “my best friend used to have long hair. He has little nieces and they used to do his hair at Christmas, and I got roped into helping. I'm told I do a pretty good French braid.”
Mouse giggles before gasping and pointing at you, “do Mommy's hair!”
Embarrassment floods you - you don't think anyone has done your hair since you were Minnie’s age, and your current hair is a gross greasy mess and you don't want anyone touching it.
Matt hums as he tilts his head towards you, “I think Mommy is better at doing her hair than I would be. But maybe next time?”
“Maybe next time,” you agree, hoping that will be enough to deter your daughter from this path.
Luckily, she quickly parrots, “Next time!”
You offer her a smile and take a much needed drink of your coffee. It not only warms you but helps to ground you back into reality.
You remind yourself nothing has actually changed - you are just more aware of the world. To Minnie, this is the same as any other day and you need to get yourself back on track.
Which means you need to confirm some things with Matt.
You set your coffee down, then pick up Minnie’s hot chocolate and bring it to the kitchen to transfer into one of her kid-friendly tumblers. You clear your throat, then dare to try, “Minnie said you'd be spending the day with us?”
“You told the froggy!” Mouse happily adds.
Matt looks confused for a few seconds before it must click, “Foggy, sweetheart, not Froggy. Foggy is my best friend - the one who had long hair.”
“Froggy!” Is the defiant response and you know better than to argue. Once something is named, the name sticks. But of course, Matt doesn't know this and you decide to let him learn.
“Foggy,” he tries. “Like a cloud. Not a frog.”
“Froggy!”
“Fog. Foggy. No ‘r’.”
“Frog. Froggy! Froggy! Froggy!” Minnie bounces in her seat, starting to giggle. You return to the table, securing the lid to the sippy tumbler before placing it down.
“Ribbit ribbit,” you add and that gets you a delighted burst of laughter.
“Ribbit ribbit!”
Matt practically pouts but seems to realize he isn't going to win this. “But yes, I… told Foggy I wanted to spend the day with you. When I was in the phone, outside.” His dramatic sad face turns into something soft as he tilts his head towards Minnie, “Did you tell your Mommy you heard me?”
“I, uh, asked if she could,” you say, feeling silly for admitting it. But you know this is the path you need to take to start understanding what enhanced senses mean.
“I can hear everything,” your little one proudly says, and you've heard her say it before - but now you know she isn't just playing pretend.
“Yes, you can,” is Matt's soft reply. Unlike your underlying panic, his voice seems to carry a fondness about the whole situation. He is the one with the experience and you want to trust him with the lead on this, but it's still absolutely terrifying.
But you know you need to set the ball up, so you gently push, “Did you know Mister Matt can also hear…everything?” You know it's not everything, at least by what Matt said, but you aren't going to get technical with a toddler. “Mommy can't, though. Mommy’s hearing isn't as good as yours and Mister Matt's.”
Mouse looks between the two of you, pursing her lips up as she thinks, then she reaches out and pats your arm comfortingly, “I'll tell you what I hears, Mommy.”
Your heart soars with so much love and you turn your hand so you can take hers and give it a gentle squeeze, “Thank you, baby.”
“I can hears a bark-bark dog and a woofy dog,” she starts, “and there's a puppy going ‘yip-yip-yip!’”
Matt laughs a little and your focus is ripped away from Minnie and over to him. He absolutely beams at you, looking proud as can be. You wonder what this like for him - having someone else who can hear what he can.
“There's a doggy day care about two blocks north,” he informs, and it is so hard to wrap your mind around the fact your daughter can hear that far. “Clients are starting to arrive, and they are lively.”
There's a flash of brown and Minnie is waving Scooby at Matt, “Bark bark bark!”
“Is Scooby a barky dog?” He asks, leaning forward towards her and putting his elbows on the table. “Not a woofy dog?”
“Bark bark!” Is the response before Mouse makes him growl. You finally allow yourself to sit and watch the sweet interaction. Everything still feels like it's too much and swirling inside you, but seeing Matt and Minnie bond is soothing - even if it's over something you can't understand yet.
“What about Pig? Does he go bark-bark or woofy?”
His question gets Minnie to gasp as if she's scandalized. “Pig isn't a doggy!”
“Oh, he isn't?” Matt teases, “I can't see him. What is he?”
“He's a piggy!” She snatches up Pig and clutches him to her chest beside Scooby. You hope she doesn't have cream cheese on her fingers because cleaning her toys is always an adventure. She hates when they have to get washed and now, you guess, you understand why. They probably smell different after being washed or the texture is off. It's something you'll have to explore later.
“What type of noises do piggies make?”
“Oink-oink-oink!”
“Oh, that makes sense,” he hums, then hunches forward more and lowers his voice, like he's talking in secret, “And what sounds do little girls named Minnie make?”
You finally get to take a bite of your bagel as you watch her contemplate the question. Her face screws up in thought before lighting up when she decides her answer.
“Ooogie-boogie-boo!”
Matt throws his head back with laughter, which makes Minnie dissolve into happy giggles. The sheer joy between the two of them pulls a smile out of you and the heaviness in your chest starts to lighten more.
“Ooogie-boogie-boo?” You question and your daughter giggles more.
“Ooogie-boogie-boo! Like Scooby!”
You don't understand what that means but you just let the positivity continue.
“What about Mommy? What sounds do I make?” You ask, curious what her response will be.
“Bumbum-bumbum.” They aren't words, but you instantly get it is supposed to be your heartbeat. You feel yourself start to flush. Matt had told you that Minnie listens to your heart to ground herself, so of course that is what she associates you with. But hearing it from her mouth and getting that confirmation still rocks you.
“It's a good sound, isn't it?” Matt asks Minnie and you can imagine how red you are turning. You try to hide behind your coffee.
“The bestest,” Minnie agrees before adding, “After Scooby Song. Scooby Dooby Do! Where are you!”
“We've got some work to do now,” you half mumble, half sing with her.
“I've never heard the Scooby song,” the man beside you says and that triggers Mouse into action. She slides off her chair, and still clutching her toys, hurries across the room to the television. She knows how to bring up what she wants, so it only takes a few seconds before there is an episode starting to play on screen.
She drops her toys and the remote before running back to Matt and tugging on his - technically yours - shirt. “You gotta listen!”
He barely gets to stand up before being pulled into the living room. He does not resist in the slightest to being directed to sit on the ground and you watch as Minnie begins to explain the intricate lore of her favorite show. To your wonder she describes each character by their voice first and you can tell Matt is completely enthralled by what he is being told. Scooby gets moved from laying on the floor to being shoved into Matt's lap so he can hold onto him.
You realize without fanfare that you can barely hear the television. It is still on low volume from last time you had it on, and it dawns on you that you never really have it turned up too loud. Minnie can probably hear it just fine and doesn't need it blasting throughout the apartment. You never got to really watch television as a kid, and you wonder what the normal volume for watching things is supposed to be.
You sip at your coffee, watching as Minnie plops herself next to Matt on the floor, going on excitedly about mysteries and different sounds. Both of them are smiling and laughing like they don't have a care in the world.
This is what you want your life to be like, you decide.
You want your family to be full of love and joy and you have fought so hard to get to this point. You've climbed your way out of a cold and distant household to make your own little corner in the world and right now you need to enjoy it instead of letting your mind be taken over by darkness and despair.
So, you set your coffee down and move to join your daughter and her father in front of the television, asking in a teasing voice, “So who is the blonde man again?”
tags:
@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife
@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt
@murc0ckmurc0ck @groovycass @sumo-b98 @just3rowsing @tongueofcat @zoom1374
@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare @mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @hunnybelha @
Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets
@mayp11-blog @danzer8705 @thinking-at-dusk @remuslupinwifee @akila-twt @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @dil3mma @allllium
@
two-unbeatable-beaters @kiwwia-wiwwia @1988-fiend @xblueriddlex @loves0phelia @ninacotte @lovelyygirl8 @littlenosoul @ednaaa-04 @ astridstark13
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when tartaglia confronts you about a drunken conversation
part 2 to this
tartaglia x gn!reader
mentions of alcohol, bad past relationships, angst, fluff, established relationship, swearing, not proofread
a/n: struggling sm on this
@redninjakitty14rp @indarius @numberonefanfury thought maybe ygs would wanna see this, hope it's up to standards ⁉️
the first thing you notice when you wake up is a warmth along your side, an arm draped over you. your forehead is tucked into the crook of his neck.
the second thing is surprisingly, no pounding headache. what the hell happened last night? you don't want to disturb the peace, but you have to.
the hot mess you were lying on stirs immediately when you shift off of him. the bed creaking when you stand up gives you away even more.
"hey," tartaglia's morning voice mumbles, "come back." half asleep, his arm pats the space beside him, looking for you. "love, where are you going?"
"just to get something to drink, baby," you reply with a twinge of guilt.
he mumbles something along the lines of "wake me up... when... done..." and falls asleep again.
tartaglia must be tired, you realize, he stayed up to pick you up from hu tao's at 2. so you ignore what he said and let him sleep.
the coffee you'd brewed did nothing to help you remember what happened last night. it probably ended with your sweet boyfriend carrying you home.
you sip from your mug slowly, lost in thought.
"morning, bird's nest," you greet him affectionately, standing at the kitchen island.
to get things off your mind, you almost entirely subconsciously made him breakfast, his favorite.
tartaglia runs a hand through his messy ginger hair, making his way to you. "morning, beautiful," he beams, an arm already around your waist.
peppering your cheek and neck with kisses, he says into your skin, "i could've sworn i told you to wake me up. smells amazing, by the way."
you give a laugh and say, "sorry, i thought you deserved to sleep in. you did take me home at an ungodly hour, after all." you take his face in your hands and press your lips to his.
tartaglia can taste the coffee on your tongue, the exact recipe he knows you love. you think he tastes like unbrushed teeth.
when you pull away gently, he chases your lips with his, soft smile guiding his cheeks.
there's something in his eyes, some unfamiliar uncertainty.
"what?" you ask, wallowing in the deep blue.
"i think we should talk. nothing bad!" he says hastily at your quick expression change. "just... some things i'm curious about from last night."
racing thoughts ensue. did you say something stupid? is he mad about you staying too late, who was there at the party, the fact that you went at all? is he finally sick of your shit?
you figured he would be at some point.
"i'm sorry," you blurt, "for whatever-"
"stop," he squeezes his eyes shut, "yn, it's okay. i'm just... curious. basically, i went to pick you up and you didn't recognize me because you were drunk. you accidentally called me gorgeous and wouldn't let me take you home.
"and then you felt bad for calling me gorgeous, because you were worried your boyfriend, me, wouldn't- wouldn't 'allow' that."
"oh."
"i just-" he sighs. "you know there's no such thing as being allowed in this relationship, right? we should've set this straight when we started dating."
"yeah, i- i know that. we did set it straight, i understand. and i-" you cup his cheeks again, "and i love you for that, tag. it's not your fault i get scared."
"yn, why do you keep saying you're scared? you're not supposed to be afraid of something in our relationship." his panicky voice makes you start to panic.
"keep-?"
"yes, last night. said you were scared to ask me if you do something that actually bothers me. and i tried telling you, you don't!"
"okay, tag, we both know that's bullshit," you start shaking your head, "there's gotta be something-"
"okay, yeah, there is." your heart stops as he gestures between the two of you, continuing, "this conversation makes me disgusted, at myself and all your shitty exes."
"they weren't bad people, we were just bad together-"
"and we're not like that," tartaglia cuts in, almost desperate. "you're perfect, and i swear on my life, yn, i'm not like that. please don't be scared of me."
he is so adorable when he is so in love, you think.
"'m not scared of you," you whisper, pressing your foreheads together. "sometimes i get all in my head, and worry you'll leave."
"i'm not gonna leave," your lover says firmly, and he pulls you in to prove it.
"i know," you say, rubbing circles on his neck when he slowly pulls away. "i love you."
he proceeds to absolutely chow down breakfast, giving you two thumbs-ups and a glowing smile. you have no idea why he scarfs it down with so much enthusiasm, but maybe you should make that meal more.
#childe x reader#childe x you#childe#genshin childe#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin angst#genshin fluff#genshin impact#genshin x you#genshin impact angst#genshin#genshin x y/n#tartaglia x y/n#tartaglia x you#tartaglia x reader#childe tartaglia#tartaglia
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dating hcs / reader x Ren (Tokyo Debunker)
included characters: all about Ren (much like the rest of my blog sometimes...)
rating: SFW, nothing NSFW here I prommy.
warnings: he's just a menace. Only thing assumed about the reader is that you are smaller than him in one bullet point. These are also much more casual and not as polished as I try to make my normal fics so sorry if that bothers you!
I can't promise there won't maybe eventually be a part 2 or a NSFW version of this. genuinely someone save me please im being held hostage in my own brain.
Level 10 clinger but he won't admit it. He's just like Where are you going :/ when you get up and it's like bro I've been here 4 hours? And he's like …. whatever you can leave …. And that obviously means he does not want you to leave.
But it's somewhat okay! Because he actually gives really good hugs. Just only to you, everyone else gets the stiffest and most uncomfortable hugs that result in him shoving them away and groaning and complaining about harassment. With you, you get a nice snuggly hug and he groans and complains if you try to wiggle out too soon. give and take.
You can go make yourself some ramen and he's like hanging off you, arms wrapped around your waist, resting his chin on your head or shoulder like, are you making me ramen too? And you give in because he's being uncommonly cute. And then he's immediately giving demands like don't cook it too long and it gets mushy, that's gross, and don't add the seasoning packet on top like that because it gets all clumpy and gross like BOY do you want your ramen cooked for you OR NOT? No matter how you make it, he's going to make a face and be like “This is trash…no I'll eat it…it's whatever…” it's not trash, he's very touched, he's just insufferable.
If you're sleeping in the same bed as him and get up in the morning before he does, there is a non-zero (and by non zero I mean incredibly high) chance he's just grabbing you around the waist, pulling you back down, and complaining that it's too early. Okay? I have a job??? He will just hold you tightly and whine at you that he was warm and comfortable and you can't just leave him, he doesn't sleep as well without you. He's too tired to really realize what he's saying and will deny this later, instead being like ugh whatever you take up too much room in my bed, you're lucky I sacrifice so much for you… (wait don't go back to your room tonight, take me with you-)
On sleeping, you probably go in thinking that sharing a bed with him will be just sleeping on opposite sides as separate as possible. Not true. He's the big spoon and you are no different from a body pillow now the way he's laying half on top of you. If it's too hot though, then yeah, get out of his bed….I mean don't really, he'll complain if you leave, but he's sprawled out and doesn't want you to touch him at all.
Really doesn't want to go on dates. He's like we can just stay in, right? ….watch a movie and play games…. going out sucks and it's expensive and we could run into people we know and they'd ruin it anyway… but when there's a new movie that he wants to see, he's like we Have To Go. We Have To. But when it was YOUR ice cream shop he's like….it's too cold out to get ice cream why do you want to go there?? Just buy a popsicle at the convenience store or smth….
He will give in and do things you want, though. You just have to be clear with him that it should be fair and equal, where you go and when. You stay in with him one day, he goes out with you another. Equality. This doesn't stop him from complaining. He's true to himself there.
Really though he's just embarrassed about going out and being perceived as Guy Who Goes On Dates because that's just. Too much. So if he's ever really apprehensive, he's probably just overthinking and overstimulated by it and you should probably just accept it's a stay at home night.
Like if someone starts poking fun at him for being your boyfriend or something he's like instantly kind of freaked out and bothered. Not because he doesn't want to be your boyfriend but because having it pointed out and being a part of his identity just kind of scares him. He'll be off and probably a bit avoidant for a few hours at least because of this.
He DOES use you for excuses though. Haru walks in and Ren's like nope can't do anything today look, they're laying on top of me, can't move, would ruin their day, you don't want to ruin their day right? If you want them to suffer, you can make me leave and do work but that's on you then. And of course Haru is like 😭 I could never do damage to your lovely partner 😭
Your own participation doesn't matter here. You could be standing up and the second Ren hears Haru's footsteps, he's yanking you down on top of him so he can make that excuse.
As awful and selfish as he is, he can be sweet, he just can't have it acknowledged. He'll bring you stuff from the store if he thinks/knows you like it and he'll pick out movies you'd like and he would 100% follow you around in a mmo he made you start and just murder all the enemies for you so you can progress easily. + He's throwing high level gear your way because he doesn't need it and he would grind for the cute pet you wanted so he can give it to you.
If you want to vent and complain and bitch, he's your man. He's like yeah fuck that guy (never met that guy in his life) he sucks. He's your biggest supporter for being a hater. If you're like I hate this person - when he meets them? He hates this person too. They don't have a chance here.
Coworker or peer who's mean to you? He meets them and is immediately like [disgusted face] I see what you mean. And the coworker is like??? See what??? Bro???? And he's mean! He's not nice to them. He's not actively insulting them, but whenever they talk he's making a face and sighing like he's never been so disgusted before.
He also holds grudges for you. Someone bumps into you in public and doesn't apologize? Permanent spot on his shit list. Friend argument that makes you upset or, even worse, cry? That friend is dead to him and he will not forgive them on your behalf. Doesn't matter if you don't care or you forgive them, he is not letting it go.
Will put on actually scary horror movies to watch so when it's time for you to go home/send him home, you're like……um I don't want to be alone, I'm scared. And then he can be like ugggh fine I guess I can stay, you're so needy (LETS FUCKING GOOOO)
Doesn't really do pet names, but if you call him a pet name like babe, honey, sweetie, etc he's blushing and he'll basically do anything you want because he doesn't know how to Think right now.
If you're upset about something, he's not great at advice or comforting words, but he'll cuddle you and let you relax and he won't complain about it. He'll even go pick up a comfort meal for you or make you some tea/coffee/etc. He'll be like, You like this movie right? We can watch it. - even though you know, for a fact, he cannot stand that movie.
He'll just hold you and pet your head and listen and stay quiet for once.
Mostly, he doesn't like attention being brought to any of the sweet or generous things he does, and he has to ruin most of his own shows of affection by being selfish or whiney. It doesn't mean that he didn't have good intentions when he did the nice act, he just can't have them like super focused on because he gets embarrassed. Say thank you or give him a little kiss on the cheek and don't gush about it and he'll be okay. Maybe a little blushy but okay.
Also he's a drama queen. I don't think I even need to elaborate on this because it's so evident but he just reacts intensely to some things even if he tries really hard to be Too Cool to look more than just annoyed. Good Luck Fellow Soldiers.
Actually please pull the most basic “jump out and scare him” pranks because he screams every time and it's hilarious and he hates it but it's payback for all the bad horror movies.
Also payback because he'd let you borrow his hoodies, and the sleeves would be too long for you, and when you're not paying attention, he'd pull the loose ends behind your back and tie them together and then pull the hood over your face so you're trapped and can't see. This is because he is evil. And he does it whenever he thinks you've forgotten that he does this, and even if you remember and fight back, it's a losing battle. He deserves all the terrible things that happen to him 🫡
He looks so smug when he does this and mostly just uses it for leverage to make you stay with him longer than you planned to or if you were being bratty or something.
If you Wise up and try to avoid this, he'll just come up with new methods. He's stubborn and you're basically challenging him so… best of luck, soldier 🫡
#tdb#tokyo debunker#ren tdb#ren tokyo debunker#tdb x reader#tdb hcs#tdb fluff#tokyo debunker x reader#tokyo debunker fluff#ren shiranami
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Baby I'm yours
{Chuuya x Reader}
Chuuya was going to surprise you. He wanted to do something special for his girlfriend. He adores you, he cares for you, and he loves you. Today he was going to treat you like a queen, it's the least he can do for all your hard work and care. You've always been concerned for his health and gave him as much affection as possible. You've been so sweet to him ever since day one, he wants this surprise to be an appreciation gift. He just wants to show how grateful he is to have a partner like you.
You've been unwell, this weak was pure trash because of constant missions, errands, toxic friends, ect. You just needed time to yourself, or time with someone you love.
Luckily your guy's 2 year anniversary was today, and there is no way in hell Chuuya would let anything ruin your guy's special day. He made Mori give you fewer assignments, Chuuya threatened anyone that was bothering you, and for some reason you didn't have to run any errands today. Obviously because your beloved boyfriend did all the work for you. He didn't get much sleep from staying up till 4 am planning your special day. Where are the reports? He did them all. Is there anything big you need to do today for work? Nope, Chuuya's got that covered. He's such a sweetheart, he would do anything for you to make sure your in the perfect mood to spend time together.
"Babe! Babe! I'm off work now, let's go get some ice cream." Chuuya couldn't be anymore cuter as he jumped at you and clings onto your arm like a kid winning a prize. "I don't see why not. There should be an Ice cream shop around the corner, good thing we're done with work because it closes in half an hour." You kept him close and made your way over to the ice cream shop called "Takeaway. " It's an ice cream shop that apparently brings people together. Rumors say that if you eat their ice cream, you will fall in love and find your soul mate, but again its just a silly rumor. Chuuya was all giggly and happy, you didn't know why or what he was up to, but you just went along with it.
"Heyyy welcome! What can I get for you guys today?" Asks the girl that was serving Ice cream. "I'll have 2 cookie dough, one for me and the lovely lady right here."
"Ohh lovely lady huh? I thought she was your friend or something, good for you though." She had a slight look of disgust on her face but you didn't mind it at first. Some girls always react like this, Chuuya is attractive after all. "You should come by sometimes, you seem like an interesting person. Where do you work?" The lady asks while getting the ice creams. "Your guy's ice creams are amazing, this is my favorite shop after all and I work at uhh...mcdonald's?"
You found it suspicious how she suddenly wanted to get to know him more, but your thoughts were cut off the moment your boyfriend lied about his job. "Oh...mcdonald's? That sucks, but at least you get paid more than I do. You should probably work here as your 2nd job, we could have a lot of fun together. You can get free snacks and ice cream as well." The lady said with a hint of flirting in her voice, her eyes fluttering as she talks to your man in a "friendly" tone.
She hands you your ice cream and continues having a conversation with your boyfriend. You looked at her from head to toe, you realized how pretty she was. You felt a bit insecure and you didn't want to get the wrong idea, maybe she was just being friendly but then you second guess yourself into thinking she's interested in Chuuya.
Chuuya was showing slight discomfort towards the lady once she started asking personal questions but she didn't seem to get the memo that he's not interested in her. He noticed your discomfort and well and thought to himself that they should leave. But then an unexpected question came out of the lady's mouth.
"You wanna come drink with me at my house tonight?"
He couldn't be any more disturbed. He grabbed your waist and pulled you close and gave the lady a nice smile before saying, "No thanks, it's our anniversary and I want to spend time with my beloved girlfriend." Your face turned slightly red at his bold move in front of the girl. She scoffed and rolled her eyes but then played it off with a smile, "Alright then, enjoy your ice creams."
Chuuya snickers and walks off with you by his side, enjoying his delicious ice cream, he noticed how sad you looked when you weren't saying anything, you hardly even touched your ice cream. "Hey baby, I'm sorry that happened back there. There's no need to be jealous, I promise your better than her and I'm yours forever." He said, trying to comfort you. "I don't like girls who are that bold, it's disgusting. I like you because your fucking amazing and so much more. Cmon, eat your ice cream before it melts, or before I eat it because I am very tempted to."
He playfully reaches for your ice cream and you pull away while laughing at him. "No, it's mine you pig!" You immediately ate your cookie dough and he gasped dramatically with a hand on his chest. You eventually got home, and you were expecting to go to sleep or watch a movie before bed. But Chuuya has other plans, he quickly drags you inside the apartment with your eyes closed, and closed the door behind you guys. "Ready love?" He whispers in your ear, making you blush and turn red like a strawberry. You slowly open your eyes when he tells you to, and you couldn't believe what you saw in front of you.
Candles were lit up on the table and counter, on the table were delicious food and a small jewelry box with a bow on it, a teddy bear was sitting next to the jewelry box with a bouquet of flowers leaving against it. Music suddenly starts playing, it a romantic song, one of your favorites. You couldn't be anymore happier. "Aww, honey." You immediately hugged him and giggled in joy, thanking him for the lovely gifts. He lifts up your chin and leans in close before pressing his soft lips against yours. You kiss him back, arms wrapped around his neck with your leg getting wrapped around his hips. He holds onto your leg and lower back as the kiss started to get heated. He couldn't get enough of you, he just wanted to melt right into you. He grabs your other leg and wraps it around his waist as well and pins you against the wall while he kisses you like a man starved. Your fingers caressed his beautiful ginger hair, getting lost in the feeling, but it soon came to an end as Chuuya pulled away with a shaky break, admiring you. "Let's eat yea? I've had someone prepare the food for us before we got here so let's eat before it gets cold." He gently puts you back down on the ground and takes your hand before guiding you to the kitchen.
The food smelled and looked amazing, you were basically drooling and Chuuya chuckled. "Come sit." He pulls the chair back for you to sit on before scooting it close to the table once you sat down. He took a seat across from you and you both began to enjoy your meal.
Later on, you were admiring the gifts. In the small box was a golden necklace, a locket with a picture of you and Chuuya inside. Of course, you didn't forget about today. Of course you've been stressing about a lot of things but you didn't forget to surprise your boyfriend with gifts as well. You gave him a teddy bear that matched his hair color, a golden watch with your initials carved in the back, and a rose. He couldn't be anymore happier. "Thank you love, you didn't have to. I love your gifts, I really do. But the gift that makes me the happiest, is you." He quickly got up and walked over to your side of the table before picking you up again and kissing you. He made his way to your guy's bedroom as you cling onto him tightly, you guys didn't dare to break apart from the kiss. Chuuya kicked the door open and made his way over to the bed before gently putting you down.
He climbs on top of you and kisses you again, and again, and again. You were like a drug, he was addicted to you. His tongue slithers inside your mouth, the kiss became more passionate and dirty, as if it was never going to end. He pulls away and attacks your neck with hickeys and love bites, marking up your neck. It was his favorite thing to do, as if you were a lollipop, a favorite candy of his. He took the time to worship your body, taking things nice and slow. He slowly removes your shirt, and you began to unbutton his shirt, sliding it down his shoulders and grabbing his hands for a quick moment. He looked at you confused but soon got the memo as you began to take his gloves off with your teeth. "Fuck doll, your so sexy yknow that?" He throws your shirt onto the floor and continued to worship you, you couldn't help but giggle at his words, and he found it adorable. He stopped for a moment to admire your beauty, everything about you.
He cups your face and gives you another kiss, a gentle, loving kiss. It wasn't any normal kiss, but a slow yet passionate one. He gives you a quick peck on the lips and smiles softly, he couldn't get enough of you.
"Baby I'm yours."
#anime#bungou stray dogs#anime and manga#bsd#bsd x you#fanfic#fyp#chuuya nakahara#chuuya x reader#bsd chuuya
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Arsenal x Teen-Reader
hi! this is the first fic that I've ever done so it's probably not going to be the best, but I still hope that some people like it! i will do a pt2 if people enjoy this one 😊
warnings: angst! eating disorders, mentions of throwing up, mentions of body shaming (pls let me know if I've missed anything)
please don't read if any of these things will trigger you.
proofread: sort of
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2:15am
You had to be up in a few hours for an early morning training session, but here you are on your phone scrolling through the endless rabbit hole of nasty Comments directed towards your appearance, especially your body.
You had only just come back from an ACL injury that had you out from playing and the public eye for nearly a year, and in that year, you had been working hard to regain your strength making your body stockier than you use to be, and people had noticed.
“She looks like a man.”
“that’s not attractive.”
“She looked better before.”
Your eyes started to sting, a few tears slipping out of them. You turned your phone off and turned around, you tried to stifle your sobs not wanting to wake up Beth and Viv who were sleeping in the room next door.
You had been living with Viv ever since you joined arsenal at 16 as she was your national teammate, so it was only reasonable, Viv and Beth had both taken you under their wing becoming a mother figure to you. Now at 19
You took a deep breath and squeezed your eyes shut holding the teddy bear that Katie had giving you for a birthday present, tears were still streaming down your face when sleep found you pulling you into a deep sleep.
Your blaring alarm startled you awake, you looked towards clock feeling as though you had only just shut your eyes.
7:30am
You groaned, you had to be at training in an hour. Waddling your way to the bathroom, you could hear Beth and Viv both talking down the hall; more than likely in the kitchen making coffee and breakfast for all of you. When you reached the bathroom and took a look in the mirror you froze taking in your appearance, your eyes were puffy and red, swollen face and hair disheveled.
“Liefde” Viv's voice echoed through the house “do you want to have breakfast here or at the training ground? I’ve made pancakes for Beth and I if you want some?” you heard her gently knock the door. Panicked, you quickly splashed cold water on your face and patted down your hair, hoping you didn’t look too much of a mess as you did be for.
You heard her knock again.
“Are you okay sweets?” it was Beths voice speaking now.
“yeah” you took a deep breath, opening the door, they both looked at you, taking in your disheveled form, looking at each other with a concerned look.
“Are you sure Liefde? You look like you’ve been crying’’ it was Viv that spoke this time, her hand reaching out to touch your face. You moved away frowning.
“I'm fine I was just watching some sad videos last night” you brushed both the girls off, giving the two women a half-asked excuse. You heard Beth laugh under her breath, putting her arm on your shoulder.
“Now why would you do that to yourself love” she laughed while patting your back, both girls seeming to believe your lie. “Now how are you feeling about pancakes?” the older women asked whilst dragging you and Viv to the kitchen. You stomach turned and you pulled your hand back shaking your head.
“I'm alright thanks, I think I'm just gonna have breakfast when we get there” you said whilst slowly making your way back into your room to get ready for training.
-
The car ride to training was fast and you quickly got your training gear out of the car before thanking the two older women and heading for the change rooms. Viv and Beth watch you walk away from them with worried looks on their faces.
“I'm worried about her” Beth turned her head towards Viv.
“I know, so am I” Viv spoke while putting a comforting hand on her girlfriends should, the two heading into the training facility.
-
When you got in the change room, only a few girls where in there, Steph, Manu and Katie. You quickly said hello before rushing towards the showers, not wanting to change in front of them. You had been changing in the showers for the past few weeks, knowing that if you changed in front of everyone that they'd see how much weight you’ve lost in a short amount of time, and you’d be caught. You waited in the showers until you heard the girls leave for breakfast. You let out a shaky breath that you hadn't realized Youd been holding and sild out of the change rooms and making a bee line for the gym; wanting to get in some extra exercise before practice started. You knew everyone would be at breakfast, so you weren't fussed with anyone catching you. What you hadn't anticipated though, was for your skipper Leah to be in the gym as well. you would never admit it out loud, but Leah intimated you. She was a good captain, hardworking and stern, she always tells it how it is and wasn’t afraid to call someone out when they were acting out or not putting in the effort.
As soon as you entered, she turned to look at you, eyes scrunching in confusion. You mumbled a quick apology and went to leave when she spoke up.
“You alright y/n? why aren't you at breakfast?” she was walking towards you.
“I'm sorry I didn’t realize anyone one was in here, I just wanted to get some extra time in before training” you said rather quickly, eyes looking anywhere but at her.
“Why would you need to do that when we already have an hour gym session today?” her eyebrows still furrowed “you didn’t tell me why you aren't at breakfast” her tone was stern and unwavering as she kept her hard gaze on you.
“I ate breakfast at home” you told her “Viv made pancakes” she looked you up and down almost scanning your body before her gaze turned back to your face her eyebrow rising slightly as if telling you she didn’t really believe you. She looked away as you gulped. That was another thing about Leah, she always seemed to know when you were lying to her, and right now didn’t seem to be an exception.
“Right well trainings about to start anyway” she said while turning your body in the direction of the door “lets head out to the field” she pushed you forward, a silent way to tell you to lead the way. You rolled your eyes and shook your head, speeding up your movement so you didn’t have to walk with her.
As training progressed you could feel your body getting tired, you hadn't eaten anything this morning and thrown up your dinner from last night. You knew it was bad, but you couldn’t stop…it was an addicting feeling.
By the time lunch time had rolled around and training was finished for the day, you were absolutely exhausted and wanted nothing more than to go home and curl up in your bed and sleep. Your body was sore, and You hobbled slowly towards the changing room, your breathing was uneven, and your head was pounding.
You were the last to make it to the changing rooms, you could her Alessia and Katie making dinner plans for tonight and was asking people if they'd be able to make it. You mentally rolled your eyes as Beth excitedly said that you three would be attending.
“Hey, you alright mate?” you groaned at the question, having heard it one to many times that day for your liking. You turned to see Caitlyn behind you.
“Yes, I'm fine” you huffed out, slowly growing agitated.
“Are you sur- “you cut her off before she could finish.
“Yes, I'm fine! I’ve already said it about a thousand times” you huffed grabbing your stuff and storming out of the room, not even bothering to change, leaving behind shocked Caitlin and confused teammates.
“I’ll go talk to her” Beth muttered after a few minutes of awkward silence. She grabbed her training kit, as did Viv, and walked out of the room. They looked in countless empty rooms before heading to the car park where they found you waiting by the car scrolling on your phone once again, they had noticed you had been doing that a lot recently.
As soon as you heard the car door click, you jumped inside, not wanting to have the conversation you knew was about to take place. Both Beth and Viv entered soon after having a short conversation outside. No one said anything throughout the drive home, the two women sharing glances with each other every now and then while you opted to stay on your phone, scrolling through your Instagram comments.
When the three of you got home you headed straight for your room, closing the door behind you. Both the women sighed as they watched you. They had both noticed a change in you, they had noticed how you went straight to the bathroom after dinner, telling them you needed to “shower”, they had believed you at first until Beth had overheard you vomit in the bathroom 2 nights in a row. They had noticed that you weren't eating the snacks you love anymore or that you weren't eating breakfast in the mornings with them anymore, they had also noticed the mass amount of weight you had lost in such a little span of time. Of course, they had noticed it, practically the whole team had noticed it, with some voice their worries for you every now and then.
“She needs help” Beth stated as she stared at your bedroom door.
“Yeah…I know.”
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Thank you for reading!! pls write some feedback if you have any :)
and if people are interested then I will do a pt2 💕
#woso#arsenal#arsenal x reader#beth mead#beth mead x reader#vivianne miedema#leah williamson#leah williamson x reader#wsl#arsenal imagine#arsenal women
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Monday
You woke up hungry, for more food and more fat. You checked the time and groaned. You'd overslept and the food you ordered was going to arrive at any sec- Ding Dong. Your doorbell rang, you quickly stood up and rushed the 15 metres from your bedroom to the door. You pulled down the handle after jiggling around the key and swung open the front door. The man standing outside was holding your 2 boxes of 12 donuts from Krispy Kreme. Suddenly you realised that your sleep shirt probably should've been retired once you gained the first 10 pounds. Now it pulled tight over your gut, fully revealing it's shape. It was also a little food stained as midnight snacking had become a nightly ritual at this point. Before he could react you took the boxes and retreated back inside the house muttering a quick thank you as you closed the door. Thank god you left a 15% tip to make up for that sight.
You sat at the dining table with the donuts laid in front of you, boxes opened. You told yourself you only had to finish 12, the full 24 was just a back up. Your stomach grumbled and you took a bite. You were surprised at this fact because you'd told yourself a moment earlier "no donuts untill I have a drink" and here you were, finishing the first donut and onto your second. You held it in your teeth as you poured yourself a large full sugar soda and began to make up two large sugary coffees that could rival Starbucks in calorie content. By the time you'd sat down with the drinks 4 rings were gone. You found yourself incredibly turned on by this fact. Your appetite had overridden everything else in that moment. You took a sip of your drink and began to eat.
8 donuts down and you started to feel yourself getting full, you felt your stomach stretching to accommodate the volume of food. It felt so good you just had to reach down to pleasure yourself. Before you new it the donuts in the first box were gone. You felt full and a little painful but you could keep going as long as you didn't stop. You reached for the 20th donut and knew you couldn't take it anymore. You brought the donut to your lips and then finished. 4 donuts could be eaten another time.
You let out a large burp and suddenly felt relief. Pleasantly overstuffed you lent back to give your belly some room while you rubbed small circles across it's distended surface. After a moment to compose yourself you got up, marveling at the added weight pushing down with every step as you walked (waddled) to the bathroom. You washed your hands, purposefully ignoring your stomach, and then stepped back. Wow. You had never seen yourself this swollen before, it almost seemed impossible.
You heaved three heavy breaths before deciding that you should probably go and lie down. You grabbed your phone, laptop, and half of today's snacks (Pringles, Reece's, peanut MnMs, soda, and a cup full of heavy cream). You weren't hungry yet but you knew snacking was your weakness and the moment some of your fullness subsided you were going to start grazing instantly.
You were right. Laughing at something on your screen you barely noticed that you had already made your way through a pretty good portion of the snacks. You unconsciously started to speed up and soon you were finished. You felt yourself reaching for the next item only to find nothing. You frowned, surprised, it had only been about an hour and a half. Pent up gluttony from years of diet and exercise was finally being let loose. Lunch was an hour away and you were glad of it, you needed time for all this food to settle yet craved for the day where you would feel like you were starving despite eating mere minutes before.
Still swollen about 15 minutes before the delivery was about to arrive you pulled on a muscle shirt. You looked down to see it was way too tight so you pulled on an oversize hoodie. This was probably what you were going to have to be using whenever you went out in public from now on. You readied your lunch time beverages, beer and soda, before hearing the doorbell ring. You opened it, thanked the delivery driver and took your food. You unwrapped and set out 2 humungous burritos and an order of queso from a local Mexican place. Now with the food in front of you the strangest feeling started to occur. You could still feel how full you were from this morning but your brain was making you feel ravenous. You eagerly tucked in, chowing down on the overfilled tortillas. Once you had finished you realised that you had pushed past uncomfortable and were now encroaching on bursting. The beer was definitely messing with you because you still felt hungry. Unable to resist you took down another cup of heavy cream before grabbing the rest of today's snacks and heading to bed.
You woke with your distended belly in your hands and your heart racing. You could feel the excess sugar and calories begging to be worked off, instead you started on your snacks before scrolling on your phone. God it was hot to know you were in so so much excess. Hours past before you got up to inspect your belly. Wow it was huge. You could see a faint red mark, barely the length of your pinky nail, on the side of your stomach. Was that a... stretch mark? It was too soon to tell but knowing how rapidly you were growing made you let out a deep throaty noise. You checked the time, dinner was only about 10 minutes away, you needed to feel fuller, stretch more.
Again you set up for your meal, got your food and dug in. 2 large Domino's pizzas was a little excessive, but you knew you could do it. Ripping through them with a speed and intensity you didn't know you possessed you took down the pizzas along with the drinks you prepared. Once dinner was finished you set a timer for 2 am and then got ready for bed. You really needed time for this food to settle.
Before that though you went to have a shower. Seeing yourself this big in the mirror astonished you. As you cleaned yourself you seemed to be going over and over your belly. Trying to touch it and feel it from all angles. Learning this new version of yourself would be so amazing. After your shower you set up a little something and then went to sleep.
Your alarm blared at 2am. You knew you had to interrupt your sleep to gain the most fat. Sleepily you got out of bed and went over to your prepared desk. The 4 Krispy Kreme doughnuts and 2 cups of cream sat Infront of you. Barely noticing you took them down before dragging your swollen form to the bathroom scales. You were instantly wide awake as soon as you saw 165. 165? You knew the water weight was going to be a lot but only about 3 of those pounds were supposed to be fat gain. You smiled to yourself knowing what was in store before you went back to bed and drifted off.
#feedee belly#feeding kink#stuffed feedee#chubby#fat belly#burping#feedist kinktober 2024#rapid weight gain#rapid wg#gained weight#belly gainer#gaining weight on purpose#gaining fat#gaining kink
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it was never ending (pt. 1)
wc: 5.3k (pt. 1 only) tags (whole series): bakugou x reader, oc character death (not reader), grief, healing, found family, getting together, slow (medium?) burn, child rearing, descriptions of pregnancy, morning sickness, friends to lovers, confessions, eventual smut
notes: i've had the idea for this in my drafts for the last 82 years. i blacked out and wrote this whole thing in like 12 hours. fingers crossed for the same motivation demon to visit me in my sleep for part 2.
summary: when the father of your child passes away suddenly, you get by with a little help from your friends (and a really intense Bakugou).
There was a part of you that already knew, as soon as the phone rang. At 7pm, there was no reason to assume it wasn't benign, like your mother calling to confirm what you'd already told her you'd bring to brunch the following weekend.
It wasn't, though. You knew it wouldn't be.
The drive is something that happens to someone else. You see it in flashes. Distantly, you think that it's probably not safe, driving in this state with an infant in the backseat. But you don't really have another option—or at least not one that occurs to you.
A nurse—a young woman, who can't be any older than early twenties—meets you in the lobby. She's practiced in her stoicism. There is no forced smile, no apologies—just a quiet invitation to follow her. She leads you with a hand on your elbow, like she's expecting you, too, to collapse, down a series of hallways that you don't bother to notice. You wonder how long she's been doing this, and what the impact of it might be on someone so young.
A doctor is waiting for you in the room. He immediately launches into a lengthy, medical term-laden explanation of the two hours prior to your arrival. You hear none of it, and you're not even looking at him.
Behind him, a thin sheet covers the body of the father of the child in your arms.
-
You turn your phone off.
You have to, really. The barrage of well-intentioned but poorly timed (and often poorly worded) texts and calls and emails renders the thing unusable.
The number of days that've passed between today and the hospital are of little consequence to you. You've survived on autopilot for however many have passed but the bone-deep exhaustion you feel has spread deeper still. Through the wall, Kaede cries, but there's nothing left in you to get your body to move. Kaede, named so at her father's request.
She was an angry thing, born with no small amount of indignancy at the act of bringing her earthside, against her will. She was red and raging for the first several months of her life, and while it exhausted you, Takeshi had taken it in stride.
"My darling girl," you'd hear him through the monitor, cooing to your daughter as she pitched a fit for the umpteenth time that night, "it won't always be so bad."
How would you convince her of the truth in that now?
The sound of knuckles against your front door jars you out of your half-consciousness. It seems it's only a courtesy, though, because you hear it open immediately after. It dawns on you that you haven't thought to check if it was locked since you've been home. Regrettable, especially now. Some distant alarm ringing in your mind tells you that should be concerned that someone has just entered your home, but there's a wall up right now. In an effort to keep you safe, your brain has blocked out everything.
Through the wall, a voice coos to your daughter. You recognize it as Mina's, and you let out a quiet breath. You brain loosens its grasp for an instant and relief floods you. You'll get up and thank her, when you can.
There is a chorus of voices, telling you that there is more than one person in your house right now, but in the absence of a threat, your eyes flutter closed. The door to your bedroom opens, and you blink hard at the light that seeps in over the massive body in your doorway.
The door closes just as quickly, and in the darkness, the body moves around the room to the other side of the bed—the empty one. There is a weight—your body dips with it minutely, and then settles again. You close your eyes, this time to relieve the sting you feel for the first time since getting home. With another breathing body as its witness, the grief hits you so suddenly you can taste it.
"Katsuki," you whimper, feeling him at your back. Familiar arms reach for you, pull you in.
"Y'r alright," he murmurs, pressing the underside of his jaw into your hair. The pressure on all sides squeezes something loose in you. You suck in a gasping breath, and then it leaves you—broken apart and limp. He holds you while you cry—keeps you there, tethered only to him in this storm.
_
Once the hurt comes, it lingers.
You suppose you can be grateful for that. People do crazy things under the burden of pent up emotion, and you can't afford to come unglued. Not like that, anyway. But while grief pulls you apart in different directions, your friends flit around your peripheral. You'd feel guilty if you could—for not being able to do what you should be able to—but few things get past the mountain of mourning that keeps you pinned to your bed.
They seem to have worked out shifts among themselves. Mina in the morning to get Kaede up and fed, Kirishima and Denki in the evening to get her bathed and ready for bed. Izuku comes around most afternoons with rattle toys and books to keep her engaged, talking and playing to keep her brain developing in your absence. Shielding her from this.
Katsuki doesn't leave.
He sleeps on the couch. Or you assume he does—you've not ventured out of your bed for much of anything. He's in and out of your room during the day, always with little meals or water or reminding you to shower, to get up and walk around the room if you can. It's hard and you cry often, but right now he's not his brash, abrasive self. He's gentler than you've ever seen him, a hand at your back to steady you, his voice low and grounding.
Your relationship with Katsuki is complicated, but not in a bad way. You'd met him, along with the rest of the group, in college. The civilian track at UA landed you a cushy office job—one you promptly turned down due to Katsuki's outrage at you working anywhere that wasn't with him. He'd gotten you a job as a resource coordinator at Jeanist's agency—which was something you found you really enjoyed. Your quirk was less than impressive—similar to Shouto's but not nearly as powerful, you could really only bring tea just shy of a boil. It certainly wouldn't be saving anyone's life, but in this role, you could help. Displaced families needed temporary housing, victims of violence needed access to affordable counseling, the injured needed connected to hearing aids and wheelchairs and prosthetics, ongoing care.
It was hard work, but you felt a certain privilege in being the one to do it. It was an honor to walk along side someone in their most vulnerable moments, and you tried to do it with as much grace and compassion as you could. When Katsuki was big enough to start his own agency, you followed him there. He gave you room to grow, and now, you head a team of community crisis response workers.
You haven't thought about work since the hospital. It's fascinating, how quickly something that matters so deeply to you can leave your mind. Katsuki hasn't mentioned it—in fact, he's not said much of anything, aside from his quiet prompting every few hours. You know that he's only doing what seems so inherent to him, and if you had the energy to, you'd tell him to go home—to take a break. The energy isn't there, though—all you can do is follow his directives to keep yourself alive.
Katsuki has always been protective of you. You're not sure when it started. You'd always been drawn to him, and there was seldom a time when you were somewhere that he wasn't. Your mother took to making up the spare bed for him when you'd come home for weekends and holidays, because it was a guarantee that he'd follow you through the screen door like a shadow. In your third year, she started asking, not so in jest, when the wedding would be.
When you met Takeshi, it was a surprise to everyone. But he was kind, and personable, and the newly-pro heroes adopted him into the fold.
Takeshi knew what Katsuki meant to you, and you were grateful for his patience. While his relationship with you was neatly defined, a specific box in your heart with his name on it—Katsuki was not. He was in everything that you were, and it was something that Takeshi chose not to interfere with. You're certain it was difficult, but he took it in stride.
He really was a kind man.
Within a year of being together, you found out you were pregnant. It was a shock—but what news filled you with terror, Takeshi received with utter delight. You were only a year out of college and in no way financially stable, but his joy left an impression on you. With each day, your child grew, and so did your tentative excitement. Takeshi was through the roof—as were your heroes.
Katsuki was the one to figure it out first. You'd been absent from a few of the group's weekly dinners at the bar in town. When you finally showed up, dressed in a big hoodie that covered most of you, you'd politely declined all offers of beer and stuck to stealing fries off of his plate.
"You pregnant?" he'd asked, not bothering to lower his voice. You blinked up at him, caught of guard.
"I—uh. Yeah."
You could've heard a pin drop, with how silent the table had fallen. You lowered your eyes—uncomfortable, unsure how to proceed—and reached for another fry. Mina broke the silence first.
"Oh my god!" she'd shrieked, already in tears. The rest of your friends followed in suit, cheering and reaching for you across the table in some strange attempt at a hug, at comfort.
You'd looked back up to Katsuki, who'd been strangely quiet. His eyes held a question—something undeniably concerned.
"It's okay," you told him, smiling softly. Squeezing his knee under the table, you couldn't miss how tense the muscle felt under your hand. "Honest."
_
A month crawls by, and you find that you can't sleep in your bed anymore.
After a few, agonizing hours of tossing and turning, and pointedly avoiding the other side of the bed, enough is enough. You stumble in the dark to the living room, trying your hardest to be quiet. It's your sniffling that wakes him up.
"Y'alright?" slurred, endearing. It would make you smile if you weren't crying. You shake your head, though his eyes aren't open to see it.
"Move over," you whisper, already pulling the blanket out from under his hip. Katsuki shifts, rolling to his side and lifting an arm for you to slot yourself underneath.
His heart beat, steady and slow, taps against your temple. You close your eyes and imagine the shape of it—the chambers that expand and contract and keep him alive. The wave of gratitude is immense and sudden and brings another sting to your eyes.
He doesn't go back to sleep—you can tell by his breathing.
"I'm sorry," you whisper, watery and broken. The arm around your waist tightens.
"Enough." His voice is gravely with sleep, but that's not all that's there. There's an edge to it, and you know that he's worried. "Try t'sleep."
_
Takeshi had made it a habit to talk with Kaede before she was born.
Each night, he would shuffle down the bed and speak softly to your growing stomach, filling her in on the events of the day.
"We wanted to go on a picnic today, but you made your mother sick." He'd pat your belly, shaking his head with a tsk. "That wasn't very nice, little girl."
Pregnancy was hard. You'd wished to be like those women that glow—that love being pregnant, that feel all connected to their bodies and the earth and the universe and whatever—but it was awful. Your ankles swelled and your back ached and you were sick all of the time.
Takeshi worked a 9-5 job outside the city, so Katsuki would stop by to check on you. It became something like a routine. You'd spend all morning throwing up, and then Katsuki would stop by and spend most of the afternoon here, feeding you anti-nausea medication and small bites of food (you'd really only wanted toast, which would launch Katsuki into a several minute tirade about how you'd kill yourself and the baby if you didn't eat a god damned vegetable. This was also part of your routine).
Katsuki's quirk was surprisingly helpful. It took some convincing ("You're not going to fry the baby Katsuki, Jesus Christ,"), but you found that if you had a layer between you, his hands could act as a high-powered heating pad. He'd sit behind you on the floor, one hand on your lower back, the other scrolling through his phone. You'd keep your head between your knees to stave of the nausea.
"You nervous?"
It was the first time he'd really asked. You rested your cheek on your knee, looking back to catch the blonde spikes of his hair in your peripheral.
"Honestly? Yeah. Really nervous."
He'd hummed, something noncommittal and gruff. You let the silence stretch on for another moment before breaking it again.
"I'm worried I'm going to poop on the table."
He'd snorted, and you could feel the eye roll from behind you. "That's what y'r worried about?"
"I mean, yeah. And the possibility of irreparably fucking up my child, I guess."
He'd gone quiet again, and you'd let your eyes close. Content for the moment.
"You'll do fine," he'd said, too quiet for him. The heat spread wider, his other hand joining the first at the small of your back. Kneading softly. "Kid's got a good mom."
_
She sits in front of you now, her chunky legs kicking wildly inside the cloth seat of her jumper. You watch her little toes feel out the ridged bottom, curling around the textures. It might be the first time since Takeshi died that you have really spent time with your child.
Kaeda grunts around the teething ring in her mouth, gurgling happily as Mina sits next to her—pink fingers pressing light up buttons on the tray to catch your daughter's eye. It works for a few seconds, but you sniff, and Kaeda's eyes find you.
"Dah!" the teething ring goes flying as she reaches for you, her head not quite catching up to the jerky movements of her body.
You smile at her, and the stretch of it feels foreign. "Hi, my baby."
It's effort, but you stand, reaching to grab under her armpits and hoist her out of her seat. Her fingers tangle in the strands of your hair. She seems bigger—heavier than she was before. It makes your chest ache. She sits on your hip as you spin her slowly, a sort of sashay around the perimeter of the rug.
"My big girl. Have you had fun with Mina?"
Katsuki watches you with lazy interest from his spot on the couch. Mina immediately busies herself with another task—folding blankets, cleaning up toys. You don't waste your breath telling her she doesn't have to. You'd already tried once, and she waved you off like a pesky fly.
"I'm not doing this because I have to, honey," she reminded you, not bothering to look up from pulling clothes out of the washing machine. "I want to."
At seven months, Kaeda has started to crawl. Or, sort of. It's more like an army crawl, with her little legs propelling her, in a way, across the ground. She gets antsy in your arms, and fusses to be put down.
"I hear ya, I hear ya," you murmur softly, bending to guide her to the soft ground. "Go nuts."
She does, squirming her way across the rug—right to Katsuki. She reaches where his arm hangs over the edge of the couch—and gives it a good, solid smack, her little palm splayed open across his skin.
"What th—y'little brat—"
He peers over the couch at her, and she squeals, clearly enamored by the game she's forced him into. She tries it again—winds up, determined, with her arm up by her head—but he snatches it up before it lands. This time it's a screech that leaves her, all of the air pushed out of her lungs to make room for the belly laugh that she dissolves into when he makes a big show of eating her grubby little fingers.
It was never a surprise to you that Katsuki was so good with Kaede. It was unexpected, though, how much he wanted to be around her. You'd asked about it once, after spending several moments watching him carry her around like a football and seemingly enjoying it, and he'd only shrugged.
"She's cooler than you, so."
You'd laughed, only a little indignant, shoving him lightly. He'd hissed at you to be careful, don't you see the fuckin' baby here, which made you laugh harder. It was absurd, this wall of a man toting around a tiny, slobbering infant.
She was just as enamored with him. She would seek him out anytime he was in her line of vision, often fighting her way out of your grasp to get to him. It reminded you of the way cats seem to flock to the one person that doesn't like cats—she'd picked the meanest looking man in the room and latched on.
Like mother, like daughter, you suppose.
_
"Do you have a name picked out?"
It was late—your head hung off the edge of the bed, which seemed to be the only position that didn't send acid reflux straight up your throat, oddly enough. Takeshi sat up at the other end, your feet in his lap while he pressed his thumbs into the soles of them.
"No," you told him honestly, "truthfully, I'm drawing a blank."
He'd hummed, hands moving up to get at your swollen ankles. "What about Kaede?"
"Kaede," you rolled the syllables around in your mouth, testing the shape of it. It felt nice. "How come?"
"I just—want her to be strong." It was thoughtful as it left him, hanging around in the air above your heads. "I want her to be like a maple tree."
"Like a tree," you repeated dryly, making him snort.
"You know! Like, rooted and strong. But able to change and sway in the wind, all that."
"Wow," you breathed, smiling, "you are so corny."
He sputtered, trying to defend himself, "It's not corny—!"
"Alright, alright," you reached down to pat the duvet, trying to placate him from afar, "Kaede. I like it."
_
Katsuki was the first one in the room after Kaede was born.
It was—unconventional—and you were made well aware of that by the open gawking of the nurses, but Takeshi didn't mind. You felt some guilt, fueled by the reaction of those around you, and told him as much.
"I'll have the rest of my life to hold her," he'd said. "I'll go grab him."
How sad it was to remember that moment now.
You'd closed your eyes for only a moment before you were stirred by a familiar hand on the crown of your head. You'd blinked and were startled to find him visibly concerned.
"You look like shit," he'd said, tilting your head to each side, as if to check for injury. It made you smile.
"Yeah, well, you push a watermelon out of the smallest orifice in your body and let me know how you feel."
He'd gagged, which made you laugh, which hurt.
"Oh, don't do that," you exhaled, long and controlled, "Everything hurts."
He'd gone quiet for a moment, watching you shift and settle back into the bed, wires and leads twisting and clanging off the plastic railing.
"Y'r okay?"
It made you smile. "I am. She's so beautiful, Kat. I can almost forgive her for totally wrecking me on the way out."
As if on queue, the child in question let out a grunt from her spot in the little plastic cradle—moving like a grub, swaddled. He looked at you for another long moment before rising to see for himself. He stopped, too far from the crib, and bent at the waist for a better view. You snorted.
"You can get closer, Katsuki. It's fine."
Another step toward her and he'd stopped again, clearly maxed out on his own comfort. The smile pulled at your cheeks so tightly that it ached.
He looked back at you, and then again to her. It was comical, how fascinated he'd seemed by the tiny person in front of him. And then, over his shoulder—
"You shit the bed?"
You groaned, bringing your hand up to cover your face, mindful of the IV. "I think I did."
His laugh was a crackling thing, echoing around the sterile walls of your room, and Kaede didn't stir at all.
_
When you step foot outside, it's immediately apparent how long it'd been since you last did.
It's a sort of sensory overload—the bright light and the birds and the passing cars and the knowledge that someone has been keeping up with your lawn while you rotted away inside.
From the shaky lines that cut into the grass at odd angles, you have a hunch it was Denki.
Mina accompanies you to the mailbox, as requested. Her arm, strong and assuring, looped through yours as she all but drags you down the short drive to the edge of the road.
You open the box, and immediately shut it.
All of it is for Takeshi.
"Oh sh—sugar," Mina hisses, as if you were not an adult with a fully formed (and often colorful) vocabulary. "I'm sorry, babe. I didn't think about that."
You shake your head. It's an inevitable thing that you don't have the energy to waste the tears on. "Will you sit with me?"
You end up on the porch swing, the metal springs above your head creaking with each suspended shove of your toe off the porch. It's a nice day, you think, trying hard not to find that particularly egregious.
Inside, you hear the squeal of your daughter, followed by the grumbling of Katsuki. It sounds a bit like a lecture that Kaede seems to think is hilarious. Another laugh—this time Denki.
"I'm really glad you're all here," you say eventually, quiet under the buzz of the world around you. "I know it's hard to put your own lives on hold."
She reaches for you, threading your fingers together and pulling them into her lap. "It's not hard at all. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now. I know the boys feel the same."
You lean your head against her shoulder, the gentle swaying lulling you somewhere else—on a beach, maybe. With the wind in your hair and salt on your lips. Anywhere but the home that your child's dead father haunts.
"Has Bakugou left at all?"
You snort. "I don't think so."
She sighs, shaking her head. You can hear the smile in it. "He's a real mother hen, that one."
You smile, feeling fond. A mother hen, and your protector.
The breeze turns colder, and Mina shivers. You focus your quirk into the hand she holds—the first time you've used it in quite some time.
She sighs. "God, that's nice. Way better than Blasty's in there."
Her chin presses into the crown of your head when she opens her mouth to speak, and then closes it again. Suddenly she's a little tense, like she's trying to build up her nerve.
"You can say it," you offer gently.
"I was just wondering if you'd stay here."
You've thought about it. It's been hard not too, with the way you can barely get yourself to open your bedroom door at this point. You'd spent every night on the couch with Bakugou since that night.
"No." You speak quietly, as if it's a secret between you. It feels strange to say it out loud. You think, if Takeshi is lingering, you don't want him to hear this. "I just—I don't know where to go. We'd planned to raise her here."
Here, in the home that you love. In the home that you can't bear to spend one more night in.
"Did he have..." She trails off, reconsidering. "I mean, did you get a..."
"Yes," you say, already knowing what she's asking. "I was paid out last week. I put all of it away in an account for Kaede." You sigh, sitting up to straighten out the kink that now exists in your neck. "With my job, we're fine. It's more...the principle of the thing. This is her home."
Mina squeezes your hand gently. "She's a baby, honey. She won't remember it. This was your home."
You tilt your head back, willing away the sting of fresh tears and the irritation you feel at having done so well today until this point.
"Yeah," you sniff, closing your eyes, "it was."
_
Time passes in waves. Slowly, creeping, and then all at once.
The longer you're in the house, the more you realize you can't stay. You are certain of it, the first time you're left alone.
Katsuki had stepped out to grab dinner. You'd all but shoved him out the door, assuring him that you'd be fine for the 20 minutes it took to pick the food up.
"Y'need anything, you call." It was the fourth or fifth time he'd said it to you.
"Alright, alright," you tell him, trailing down the front steps behind him. "I will, I promise."
When you shut the door behind you again, there's a feeling of lethality to it—a debilitating silence that you haven't heard in four months.
You don't want to go any further into the house. You do, only to grab Kaede, and then you're right back outside. It starts to rain, and it feels fitting. You sit under the awning behind your daughter as she sticks her toes out into the drizzle, curling them with each drop that falls on her skin. You think about how overwhelming it must be as a baby—how new everything is.
It's less than 15 minutes later when Katsuki pulls into the driveway. He's out of his truck and in front of you in record time, frowning at you like he already knows something's wrong. Kaede reaches for him, and he scoops her up like it's muscle memory. He waits for you to talk. A moment passes.
"I can't be here anymore," you whisper, shaky. He looks at Kaede for a long moment, like she could have something offer on the topic.
"Alright," he says, reaching for the front door with his free hand, "pack a bag."
_
It takes you longer than you thought it would. You'll be back—you have to come back, because you can't take everything right now—but it feels final. The beginning of the true end. There's a framed picture of you and Takeshi at your baby shower on your nightstand. You consider taking it with you—instead, you turn it face down and move on.
By the time you manage to shove a hoodie, some shorts, a few pairs of underwear and your toiletries into a bag, Katsuki has already packed two bags for Kaede and put her in her carrier. You just look at him, wholly dumbfounded.
"You good?"
You look at him for another beat. "Yeah, fine."
_
The drive to Katsuki's isn't long. You follow him in your car, not wanting to leave it in your driveway. Kaede is with Katsuki, something you didn't fight him on.
You spend 10 of the 15 minute drive flipping through radio stations before you finally turn it off. You're left in silence, and you're now well and truly alone for the first time since Takeshi died.
You suck in a breath, trying to dislodge the thing that has lived in your chest everyday since.
"You knew something was wrong," you say, out loud, to no one. "You knew something was wrong, and you didn't tell me."
You picture him next you—mouth opening to respond, to defend himself. You beat him to it.
"It was preventable," your heart breaks again. "There was no reason—"
You'd tried to keep this at bay—the knowledge that Takeshi's death was meaningless. You hadn't heard a word the doctor said, but you'd read the pathologist's report. It was too hard, too much to process with everything else that needed tended to, but your brain seems to take advantage of every quiet moment you get.
"You left her without a father," your breath comes ragged, both hands gripping the steering wheel tightly to make up for the tears that threaten to block out your vision, "you—you left me,"
With impeccable timing, no sooner than you pull into Katsuki's apartment complex and park do you dissolve completely, curling in on yourself in your seat. It's crushing, this grief and this anger together inside a body that surely cannot hold all of it.
You don't see Katsuki when he approaches your driver's side door. You don't see him when he hesitates, one arm holding Kaede and the other outstretched as if you grab hold of you and pull you from your suffering himself. You don't see when he decides against it—when he turns around to leave you to do what you need to do on your own.
_
In a way, you start to feel lighter. Like something has shifted, like the boulder in your chest has fragmented just enough to let a breath through.
You get Kaede up on your own today. You let yourself linger over her, leaning on the side of the pack-n-play to watch her as she sleeps. Her little eyelashes frame her round cheeks, fluttering with whatever dream she's in the middle of.
The upturn of her nose, the slope of her forehead—these are things she gets from Takeshi. The curve of her eyes, the shape of her fingernails—those are yours. She is the most even mix of two people you’ve ever seen, and something about that makes losing Takeshi a little easier. It would’ve been a lot harder if she had simply taken his face.
She stirs as if she’s felt your thorough examination. “Hey, sweetheart,” you coo, reaching down to pull her up. She lays her head down on your shoulder, sleepy, and something about it brings tears to your eyes so suddenly that you startle yourself.
This tiny person that relies on you for everything. This little girl that fits so easily in your arms. She is yours, to keep safe and happy and content. She is a promise you made, both to Takeshi and yourself. She is the thing that will keep you going, even when you’re certain you cannot take another step. She is the thing you have to show up for, no matter what.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” your voice is tiny as it is watery, whispered into her hair, to her already sleeping form. You stand there, in the middle of Katsuki’s spare bedroom, rocking your child and letting the tears fall down in fat drops—and it feels like the most normal thing in the world. “I’m so sorry. I’m here.”
It’s only when you turn your head that you see Katsuki lingering in the doorway. You open your mouth to tell him that you’re alright, but you only manage something wounded, something pathetic and broken and painful. He’s in front of you in an instant, unwinding Kaede from your hold and putting her back into the pack-n-play, still sleeping. It’s only another second before he’s dragging you to him, nearly crushing you to his chest. It pulls another wave of tears from you, because it feels good. To be held, and to be held by Katsuki, who would reduce every source of your pain to ash if he could. He holds you like he means to keep you intact—to put you back together the best he can. The only person who has ever held you like this, meant it like this.
Six months, 13 days, and 11 hours after Takeshi dies, something changes.
part 2 soon. thanks for reading, love u. <3
#will i ever stop writing about this man? not likely#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou fic#bakugou x you#mha fic#bnha fic#bnha writing#bakugou hurt comfort#mha x reader#bnha x reader
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