#in his vicinity 😐

[divorceblogger]

rereading the first book and book louis is such a cunt and an evil predator. and I was wondering why I came out of iwtv and just sort of put the book away and never thought about it again. it doesn’t really offer any extra insight into show louis except maybe the parts of his personality that they grab ahold of to enrich him as a character i.e. his love for his brother, his obsession with acquiring capital, etc

[dreamings-free]

.

[ckret2]

I'm not sure if this will come up and is therefore a spoiler. And I know it's not the vibe in the story right now. But is Ford more attracted to the triangle or the curvy blonde woman. Because I'm imagining he doesn't have a lot of breast experience and the like. Just by my vision of his whole deal.

I mentioned this in a billford headcanon post a few months ago but to copy paste:

This is a mutual monsterfucker 4 monsterfucker relationship. They look at each other and go “wow you’re such a weird-looking alien” and they’re attracted to each other BECAUSE of that, not in spite of that. I don’t want any of this “oh how could I be drawn to something so strange…” shame out of Ford, as far as I’m concerned his first crush was Mothra, a floating triangle is nothing.

Consequently, this means that if you take an AU where Bill gets stuffed in a human body, rather than making things easier, it ironically means that any PHYSICAL attraction Ford had for Bill instantly evaporates. A humanized Bill could be the sexiest damn thing in the room and everyone else in the vicinity is going 🥵💦 but Ford’s going 😐. If they hook up with Bill in a human body it’s in spite of Bill’s current appearance and it’s because Ford knows that, underneath the body, Bill’s still Bill. You could hand Ford a perfect Tumblr Sexyman supermodel and he’ll be fantasizing about a three-tiered pyramid with more teeth than a shark.

The human body does nothing for him. He'd have zero interest in the "curvy blonde woman" if they were anyone other than Bill.

(... well... maybe he'd still be a bit intrigued if said woman was a vampire. Or some kind of horrible shapeshifter in disguise.)

There's gonna be multiple people in town who are attracted to the Curvy Blonde Woman. Bill prefers the way Ford is interested in him. The other humans, deliriously attracted, can go "you have a beautiful body 💕" and Bill will go "yeah, sure, I know it is"; Ford dismissively & disinterestedly goes "it's too bad you look human" and Bill goes "THANK you, I KNOW right?!"

Thank god SOMEBODY sees him as a triangle trapped in a human prison rather than as a human. Thank god it's Ford.

[ourfag]

stede: where's goofy from?

ed, who was almost asleep: 😑...😑...😐

ed, slowly rolling onto his back so he can see stede's face: goofy. goofy the cartoon goofy?

stede, continuing to stare blankly at the ceiling: yeah where's he from

ed, who's not sure he isn't still a little bit asleep: where's—you mean—are you talking about, like, ethnically

stede: no, i mean, where's his character from? what was he in?

ed: he's disney, babe. he's one of the mickey mouse guys

stede, impatient: i know that, but where'd he get his start? we all know where mickey started, he was on that boat

ed: right. so goofy was like that, i bet

stede: goofy didn't come until later, though. i've never seen a black and white goofy. have you?

ed: mm. i don't really notice goofy. he's like pigeons, y'know? he's just kind of there

stede: they group him with mickey like he's got similar prestige. mickey and donald duck

ed: he's probably from...in the same vicinity as donald duck, i bet

stede: i've seen donald duck cartoons. i've never seen a goofy cartoon. he just started showing up.

ed: so wherever the first thing he showed up in, that's where he's from, yeah?

stede: but the first place i recall seeing him, it was already, "oh, look at that, it's goofy! we've added goofy for you! isn't it great to see him again?" i'd never seen that man before in my entire life.

ed: he's not a man he's a dog

stede: well—still, the point stands.

ed: babe. do you think maybe the first thing he was in was just a thing you haven't seen?

stede: that i'd believe. but you'd think it's something they'd market, wouldn't you?

ed: i dunno, maybe it sucked.

stede: but if it sucked, how could that have imparted him donald-duck-level status?

ed:

ed: you're leading up to something, aren't you

stede: i just think it's difficult to believe that that kind of success could have happened organically.

ed: you're saying goofy is an industry plant?

stede: well i don't think we should rule it out

[astrobuggy]

I really want Lunar to find stuff about himself now that he is living alone

For example(s):

□ They start to actually express themselves willingly now that they know nobody's in their vicinity that they could accidentally harm

■ Lunar starts to actually enjoy living by himself. Finding that there are benefits to it (he can finally have a whole room to nutella without being judged 😤🙌)

□ He finds a job he actually enjoys and is excited to go into whenever the hour comes

- Like an organization that helps teens (I saw this in a post, and I love that idea heavy!) with problems like emotions or family problems. And he's actually so happy to be there since now he can freely express himself since they aren't kids (exactly kids)

- Or Lunar opens up a small business that becomes a local store that the community he's built it around knows him and his store immediately whenever it's mentioned. Like a flower shop! Lunar does have nature powers at this point. Plus, it'd be such a great way to practice his powers

- Combined idea >:D! Lunar opens up a flower shop as a side hussle while his main job is the organization. And during his working hours at the shop, the teens he looks after come around his shop and just hang out with him there. Assisting him with the workload the shop provides. Lunar teaches them how to plant and take care of plants. Lunar does actually pay them a decent amount for the work they help him out with (I kinda see the business booming since Lunar can literally create flowers and change its colors willingly, only if the plant wants to). They come around so often that Lunar made them a hangout area at the back of the store. They appreciate it heavily (they try not to give Lunar such a hard time as payment)

■ Lunar finds a group of friends outside of the pizzaplex (FINALLY 😭🙏)

□ He starts to actually have a hygiene cycle. Lunar finds out he enjoys baths over showers. He finds bubble baths and bath bombs very enjoyable and fun to play with. And now he smells like vanilla with a mix of blueberries

■ They find hobbies other than gaming and watching shows (or nutella commercials 😐) Like gardening or even baking (shit, maybe even drawing, like how he used to during 2022)

I just need Lunar to be happy during this arc. PLEASE 😭🙏🙏 Ik I ain't getting that with the shit he's dealing (the astrals)

[meowzfordayz]

sledding

Author’s Note: feeling out of practice writing wise, but hope you enjoy this tidbit of wintery wonder nonetheless. 🛷❄️

sledding

Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader, Shinazugawa Sanemi x Reader, Tomioka Giyuu x Reader, Uzui Tengen x Reader

Word Count: ~700

CW: explicit language

~faqs~

“Are you ready to go sledding?!” 😁

“... sledding?” 😴

You’re still half asleep, Kyojuro’s cheerful voice matching the insistent sunlight streaming into the bedroom

“Sledding!!” 😁😁

Do you even own sleds? 🤨

“I made us sleds this morning!” 🤗

What time is it?? 🥱

Also-

Your eyes blink open

“You made me a sled???” 😳

You may be half asleep, but damn if you aren’t swooning out of bed and getting dressed to go sledding with your dream of a man 😍

“I tried to,” he amends, “They fell apart when I test rode them into town, but I found professionally crafted sleds after I arrived.”

“Kyojuro, I can’t believe you made us sleds.”

“Yes, well, they are fueling the fire now.” 😅

“That’s fine,” you grin softly, sleepy gaze finally focusing enough to take in the shimmering adoration of your lover, his enthusiasm rivaling—and beating—the coziness of your blankets, “Sledding in ten minutes?”

“Perfect!” ❤️‍🔥

“Knowing you, this is going to end with you sledding yourself into oblivion and me desperately scrambling to the bottom of a cliff in tattered hopes of saving you.” 😐

“How poetic.” 😌 … 😏 “I didn’t pin you as the desperate type.”

Sanemi growls, “Shut up.”

“In case you didn’t notice, this is a pretty mellow hill. Definitely no cliffs in the vicinity.”

“You’ll find one.”

“You’re being unreasonable.”

“Cautious.” 😒

“The Wind Pillar isn’t a cautious man.”

“Well right now I’m not the Wind Pillar. I’m Sanemi, and I love you.”

Awww 🥹

“Is the snow getting to your brain already?” 🧐

“You like when I’m all sappy and shit.” 🙄

“You are pretty cute when you’re worrying about me.” 😍

“No injuries,” he says sternly, “And no cliffs.”

“Got it,” you wink, “I love you!”

—

Sanemi might roll his eyes at you, but you know better

He was the one who invited you to go sledding 🤭

“What?”

You swallow a giggle, your sled halting beside Giyuu’s, his legs and arms tangled in brambles as flecks of snow float onto his head and shoulders

“What?” 🥲

“I thought you’d be a little more coordinated.” 😆

He blushes faintly, staring down at his knees with a quiet sigh

“But I guess all it takes to topple the mighty Water Pillar is a wooden sled.” 🤭

“I told you I’ve never done this before.”

You hate to see him so crestfallen ☹️

“You were doing so well.” 🥹

He smirks knowingly, “This is the third bush.”

“The steering isn’t intuitive?” 😅

“The third bush in about five meters.”

You stand up, your sled in one hand as you brush excess snow off your pants with the other

“Do you want to ride together?”

Giyuu snorts, “Do you want to end up in a bush?” 🙃

“With you?” you grin, leaning down to kiss his cold forehead, “Absolutely.” 🥰

“What if I hit a tree?” you pout

The hill is very hilled, and the trees at the bottom look very… tree-y 😵‍💫

Tengen shrugs, “You’re not going to hit a tree.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you’re smarter than that,” he replies airily

You pause, “Am I though…?”

“... … …?” 😬

*cue indignation* / *cue instant groveling*

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME.” 😠 / “OF COURSE YOU’RE SMART! You’re SOOOOO intelligent!” 😭

“Tengen.” 😐

“Dig your heels into the ground.”

“How about we just sled together?” ☺️

For the first time in forever, fluttering your eyelashes gets you nowhere

“Pleeease?” 🥺

Nothing.

“Why nooooot?” 😢

He’s only a little pink when he mutters, “Then how are we gonna race?” 🤓

—

Unsurprisingly, Tengen wins the race by a lot

Also unsurprisingly, Tengen crashes into a tree

No pain, no gain

“ARE YOU OKAY?” 😳

“Are you okay?” 😏

????? It would appear that he is grinning

“Y’know, okay with being a LOSER?” 😎

To his credit, he carries you and the sleds all the way home 🫡

[car-o-line]

Can you do tpn hcs for a fem! reader that's extremely silent, very antisocial, and withdrawn and is a girl of very few words, but also intelligent on a terrifyingly dangerous level, and she often jump scares people due to how quiet she is?

A.N: I saw this comment on Isabella’s lullaby on yt and it said, “Gotta appreciate Ray for keeping his goth aesthetic despite the white clothing he wears all the time” and it was just really funny😭😭😭

WARNING: This has spoilers for TPN/ also fem!reader.

Tpn characters with a fem!reader of few words

Emma:

Sunshine and moon friendship for sure.

Though she was a bit intimidated by you at first.

She swore up and down that’d she’d make you open up to people more.

She doesn’t mind your silence really, she just wants you to learn how to express yourself!

And she also wants to hear you voice-

She’s probably only heard you voice a few times, but she cherishes them so much.

You probably spoke a bit more when Emma and Norman had found out the secret about the orphanage.

(You found out because Emma and Norman told you outside near the wall before they told Ray, but Ray was spying on you 3 so it doesn’t matter)

Your intelligence scares Emma tbh.

Like you’re probably on Mamas level of wits.

Honestly when you do talk she probably misses what you say because of how excited she gets when you do talk.

Sometimes she doesn’t even know that you’re in the same room as her, and it makes her feel really bad :(

Like sometimes you four will have a meeting and she’ll randomly be like,

“Wait, where’s y/n!? She’s part of the-”

“She. Is. Right. There.”

“What? looks beside her oh!”

You scare her so bad sometimes omg.

She has to constantly look around to make sure that you’re in or not in the same room she’s in.

Regardless she thinks that you’re the best sister ever, even with how quiet you are.

Norman:

You’re personal translator.

Somehow he knows what you’re thinking without showing it on your face, even if you tried to mask it. So after a while you just kinda relied on him to express what you’re saying.

It’s kind of scary actually.

He doesn’t mind your quiet nature, he thinks you’re calming in a sense.

When the secret was discovered he expected you to remain stoic, for an emotional y/n was uhm..unnatural.

In which you did, though he could see a bit of sorrow in those blank eyes of yours.

Like I said when you do speak it’s a surprise but he’s not like Emma where he’s too excited to hear you, he’ll think it’s nice to hear your voice but doesn’t make it a big deal.

Intelligence wise, you both are pretty head to head.

You both probably play chess a lot.

You like it because of the minimal interactions, he likes it because it’s a learning experience.

He’ll challenge you to more activities as well.

Especially tag.

Please stop scaring him though.

At least once a day he gets jump scared by you, during tag, in the halls, or even just standing he gets on edge.

So his solution? He asked you to tap his shoulder whenever you enter his vicinity.

It saves him lots of heartaches.

Ray:

Relates to you at a point.

You’re antisocial, he’s an emo. Same thing.

He wasn’t worried about your shipment coming early because you’re hella smart.

He honestly does not give af if you spoke or not.

Thought you were mute when you came into the orphanage but Isabella shut down that theory and simply told him that you didn’t like talking.

You give him heart attacks sometimes.

Like when everyone is playing tag while he’s reading, sometimes he looks to the side just to see you staring at him over his shoulder.

Please stop.

He loves you greatly but just stop.

“What are you doing, go play tag.”

“😐”

“I’m not reading to you.”

Honestly he’s surprised Isabella didn’t make you be the traitor.

But he wouldn’t want that burden on you anyway.

After Norman’s departure you became a little more talkative, not having someone to rely on translating for you anymore.

Don’t push it tho, a sentence per day.

“Emma, do you think I should wear a skirt or pants..?”

Those were literally the first words he’s heard you said since you found out the secret.

He hopes you’ll talk to HIM soon🙄

[thatdeadaquarius]

Okay so-- i was reading some sagau posts and came across this one where the reader was an army vet and my brain just Did Its Thing--

So now I'm here to inflict this on to you--

Would guns be considered as catalysts. And would they only do Phys Damage.

Me reading this ask:

😶 😐 🤨 🧐 🧐 😰 🥲 😭😭😭 💀

STOP YOU'VE INFLICTED ME WITH PSYCHOLOGICAL DMG FROM THIS ASK 😭

(Also srry took so long to respond, when i didnt realize how short this was/was just sitting over here 😓)

^ For the sake of gun imagery being a lot/maybe staff might hate me for it,

we'll put this gay shit instead (i almost mispelled to "gay shot" lmao)

☆

Sun: Army Veteran Reader, Gender neutral Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: SHORT Headcanons

Stars: everybody bc i think itd be funny

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: gun stuff, mild violence, mild cursing & Trigger Warnings: Gun fun everywhere

THIS ASK HAS ME GIGGLING TO MYSELF LIKE A MANIAC

You're out here having a whole gun they let you take for off-base

And u ofc have a license so u can conceal carry

(idk how non-american gun laws work, but tbh ours are so fucked idk how they work here either, just that an army guy i knew once could have his gun when he got back home)

And ofc ur just paranoid enough (more like it just makes u feel safe)

That when u get yoinked into a portal to a silly little brightly colored gacha game fantasy world, the gun comes with 💀

Id like to add in my silly little "ur in a video game, so video game rules" AU version of genshin so:

The only other gun (ish) wielder (Mika) has unlimited bolts

Sooo I'd think your gun would be the same jfc lol

NO BC YOUD SCARE THE ACTUAL SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE IN UR VICINITY IN A BATTLE

BC GUNSHOTS ARE A DIFFERENT TYPE OF LOUD

When u first stumble into abyss monsters/hostile creatures of the realm, u nearly scare off a Lawlachurl bc every shot's like thunder to these bitches😭

So not only the monsters but the vision holders think u fucking summoned lightning

OMG THE BULLETS ARE SO FAST THEYD PROBABLY NOT SEE IT

ESP BC DISTRACTED BY GUNSHOT LOUDNESS

SO U AIM THIS LITTLE BLACK CROSSBOW (???) AND THINGS JUST DIE (OR GET RIDDLED WITH HOLES) WITH NO CLEAR ARROW STICKING OUT

STOPP- you're becoming a witchy god or smth to all of Teyvat bc it just looks like hella high level magic atp to them LMAOOO

Rumors of you get out of hand and say u just point or snap ur fingers and things get wounded/just die on the spot 💀

Oh another difference between Teyvatians seeing ur gun vs. crossbow (what they know)

Is that guns are wayyyy more destructive

Like an arrow would get shot but it'd bounce off of things like rock or wood or metal, maybe dent a little depending on how close

But a bullet goes thru that shit so easy, and leaves a whole little explosion behind, once again depending on range

(I once saw a Mythbusters episode? of them proving bullets would definitely go thru car doors, like movies lied to u, this is why drive-bys acc work like for gangs)

Lmao, the image of you in like full armor with a Teyvat made automatic gun after showing it to blacksmiths

Makes u just more convincing as a god, esp bc military training

(Ppl like Gorou and Kokomi begging for military tactics/training ur world has done)

...

....Ok.

I'll address it.

But only so u dont think im stupid later.

Yes, the Fatui have guns.

No, this not the same as having a glock LMAO

End of story.

(Also, urs runs on bullets, whereas the Fatui rely on magic/delusions to power theirs, plus they dont seem as fast or destructive as urs, more "explosions aimed at you" than real bullets)

Which,,, u leave the managing of ppl copying ur gun to ppl like the Qixing or smth, but make sure to give them advice on good gun laws if teyvat accidentally revolutionizes bc of ur advanced gun that anybody can wield (non-vision users)

Thats the best ive got abt that

Oh, also enjoy being praised as a War god now.

:)

☆

... dammit i had smth i was gonna tell u guys-

Uh what tf was it, it was important

OH

Next post is the Eldritch God Oneshot! Look out for it :) !!

☆

Safe Travels Kid,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

[hazbinhappy]

If you’d like, what about Vox x a reader who’s very wary of men and it took Vox a long time to gain their trust because of this. - @am-i-interrupting

A/N: felt this in my damn core

You drop into hell and I won’t lie I think hell’s gender population is definitely more men ✋😐🤚

Anywho! You drop for whatever reason probably a dumb one because the Divine Judge was feeling silly and nitpicky

You work for Velvette in this case!

It’s not like you work for her because she’s nice, no it’s for the pay and there is wayyyyyy less men than anywhere else in Hell and that’s a win

One day she mentions that they’re doing a “Vee’s Specialty line” and that she needs you to help design the outfits

you were originally wary of this and when it came to designs you simply just emailed them solely to Velvette, but she texted explicitly "These are shit!! Vox is on his way to "consult" be here ASAP don't want him here longer than he needs to be"

you kept your distance, but quickly took the clothes he gave for inspiration

you vaguely heard Vox speak to Velvette about your weird behavior, but she was half listening

Vox checked in occasionally about how the designs were coming along because he's a damn control freak

you barely responded, often in short words or sentences

actually requesting that he emailed you instead (which he actively ignored and kept coming in person)

if you've played animal crossing new horizons think of Sable! you have to keep talking to her daily for her to open up

now i'm not saying that works here obviously (if it was me i'd be pissed off)

but occasionally he'll get a full response from you

you find it odd how interested he is in the clothes that are based of his likeness (Valentino just gave his designs the okay and left it at that)

soon enough you come to feel weird when he doesn't visit you at his regular time and feel sad and like something is missing

once the clothes are finally out to the public he has no reason to visit you until Velvette excitedly (while still being mean) that Vox is finally upgrading his wardrobe like the old man he is and that you're in charge of it

....yay more work

jk you're not ecstatic about the work in the slightest, but it means your routine is back to normal

he's probably the guy who is allowed within a normal vicinity of you that actually can get a full conversation

i wouldn't say y'all eventually date, but you guys definitely become borderline friends/acquaintances!

probably would take an eternity to date each other

but guess what! y'all have that

[bun-bun07]

Why do people hate Jean Moreau?

Does anyone else as a AFTG fan just go on to social media, AND get slapped in the face with a realization that people actually have the time and energy to hate on jean? No just me ☹️

Jean did not have enough lines in the book for me to hate that boy like I went through all three books and was just like there's nothing I really hated about jean if anything he was less noticeable at times, the more he spoke the more I loved him and the little things that were mentioned about him made me worried for that boy safety 😭

Like I truly did not believe that jean Moreau who was barely mentioned in the book was a bad person 🙌

Like when I go back I really don't think Jean went through the trouble of searching up neils past just because he pissed off Riko☹️ bro does not have enough freedom or time for that the only way that boy would actively go searching for information was if Riko told him and let's not forget get that the only why Riko could get close to Neil without causing an uproar/problem with the rest of the foxes was using jean as his little warning like I just knew Riko put him up to that no one's that level of petty🤣

And all of my time reading the book I didn't even think Jean was even rude 🥲

It felt like during the whole book he was trying too hard to be mean like in front of Riko, if it was up to Jean himself he most likely would blend into the background and wouldn't even speak the whole dinner.

Like jean actually research anything on Andrew's past? Jean does not care. Jean is too busy just trying to survive in the hell that he's lived in for years now.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Jean: welcome to the Ravens cort..

Neil:... You mean Cult?🤨

* jean who doesn't even bother to correct him*

Jean: .....child anyways😐, aS I WaS saying-😒

----

Neil-menace to society-josten :*breathe in Riko's general vicinity*

Jean -just trying to make it- Moreau:*gripping the seat* Have mercy😰....

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Like bro was really just trying to make it unnoticed during this whole book but ended up just catching strays 🤣 I was just feeling bad for him doing the whole book 🙌

[theloveinc]

Soppy pathetic bkg is always my fave (in relation to ur post about him being devastated without you). But even just generally, especially like when ur first getting together and he's shy and pathetic asf !!!

(referenced post here!)

Okay excuse me while I make a big mess all over this but, SO TRUE...!!! And everyone knows it, too.

Big meanie Bakugo sweating bullets on your first date, trying to hype himself up to pay. Not because he doesn't want to, he really has enough money to go around, but because he's nervous about getting any pushback from you, or getting all flustered when you pull out your card and try to fight him on the bill.

He literally nearly FAINTS when the waiter comes over at the end and you reach for your purse... slamming his money down on the table so hard that everyone in the general vicinity jumps and he goes bright red.

Thank god you only giggle, turning warm yourself as (instead of getting out a credit card) you pull out a tissue to dab sweetly at his forehead.

(He apologizes when he drops you back at home, head down and voice gruff because he doesn't want you to know he's embarrassed, or scare you off with how much he already cares... and you have to be the one to take his hands and lean in for a kiss he thinks about until the next time he sees you and you kiss him AGAIN...)

...Or, or, or when you're with friends who want to get crepes in the park, and he's immediately getting you one without REALIZING THAT MEANS you're gonna share!! Walking over with a big, strawberry banana ice cream mess he's prepared to hand off forever and going absolutely stone still when you take a bite and then ask if he wants any.

The answer is FUCK YES, of course, yes, he'd split any and everything with you, but like... that doesn't mean he knows what to do? Or where to bite so that it's not like you're kissing?? Or how to avoid people from looking and then teasing him???

And he gets so overwhelmed that he just has to stand there holding the dessert til whip cream starts dribbling all over his hands and now you're asking what's wrong and ad;lkdfnkjahdfnadfja RAWWWRRRR he's making the crepe explode and covering it up with the excuse that there was a hair on it and offering to get you another one that you try to share with him too, andandAND—

(His expression: 😐, meanwhile him on the inside: *//screaming fire flames nervous shouting dying crying hell is a place on earth*)

...AND then finally you both get through that awkward stage (though it takes, uh, MONTHS), and now, though he's fine sharing food and fighting with you over the bill, the first time you need to go away for a couple days, he's LOSING his mind (and that's a habit he never manages to kick). Whether it's two days or twenty-two days or twenty-two hundred days.

Sitting next to your suitcase bitching and whining, all mopey when he sees you pack your good underwear and he can't figure out why you'd even need those... or your travel teddy bear and he's suddenly getting so possessive over it like that means you're leaving, YOU'RE LEAVING HIM??????????????

("No, silly. I'll just be a train ride away," you say, trying to pull the little green and blue toy out of his hands to put back in your bag. "And it's only for four days, you've been through much worse."

Bakugo pouts, holding on tighter to the neck of it even though he's hardly ever acknowledged the silly thing before. You tug at it again, then suddenly find yourself being pulled back into the mattress, where Bakugo wraps you up in his arms instead of admitting to the simple fact that he's going to miss you more than he though capable.)

You've never seen him so soppy (yes that is the perfect word for it) and even he, himself, is surprised because this has never happened before AND he realize this must've been how his mother felt every time his father went off to visit his grandparents for the weekend.

YES, BAKUGO IS PATHETIC FOR YOU.

[11queensupreme11]

What would the yanderes do if Percy was on the receiving end of that trope in anime where an attack either she released or was unleashed onto her just completely ripped her top open and the only thing between anyone and an eyeful of Percy's breasts is like convenient smoke or hair placement 😂

LOL????

loki wouldn't get horny simply because he's too busy laughing his ass off and making fun of her 😭 then he'd realize other ppl are looking and get jealous and take her away (he'll come back to kill the dude who caused it tho)

poseidon is immediately interfering to cover her up and kill each every witness in the vicinity. no one but him is allowed to see his precious daughter-wife in such a vulnerable state 😐🔱

hades is another that won't get horny. he'll be more concerned over percy's wellbeing. he'll quickly lend her his coat to wear (which is soooo cute cuz he's huge so percy's definitely gonna get swallowed up by it 🥰). her attacker has a good chance of survival; while hades is focused on her, they could make a run for it but they better hope hades doesn't come after them later

this is one of the rare cases beelzebub would actually be shocked. he'd definitely stare at her naked body, and then wonder how on earth the other guy managed to do this (and can he teach him too??). then he would step in to help her

apollo would get a boner immediately 💀

[wonusite]

spooki szn nerd!josh (nerd joshie AGAIN because 1) I feel like that's just my Brand™ at this point and 2) I cannot get this bitch out of my head!!! Gonna have to start charging him rent at this point) headcannon since is officially October

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You dragging josh to a halloween costume party and surprise surprise, he's unimpressed and like 😐 the whole time. You probably had to wrangle him into some costume because "it's crucial we dress up joshie!!" and you being you, of course it's some kind of couples costume. You're probably dressed in something slutty because of course you are, and the constant male attention you're getting is starting to piss josh off. Even though you stay tethered to him the entire night (really, you might as well just be a hyperactive puppy he's holding the leash to. You excitedly hop from group to group, seeing and talking to everyone but you're always looking back, making sure he's within hand holding vicinity. fucking simp) the amount of wandering eyes over your body, the predatory gazes of the men (and several women tbh) trying to get a peak at a flash of your panties when you turn a little too fast, they're all starting to cause jealousy to settle in Joshua's bones (especially the one in his pants AYEEEEE).

Usually when you drag him to your frat parties you have a little more class when it comes to hooking up with you boyfriend, typically waiting until you get home to go at each other like feral rabbits. This time though, josh can't seem to push down the annoyance that fills his entire body at people seemingly challenging his claim over you, so as soon as he gets a chance to, his dragging you upstairs and into some poor guy's bedroom, not even giving you a chance to speak before he has you bent on all fours, roughly grabbing your panties and pulling them down, giving you a few harsh spanks to your ass before delivering a couple to your sopping wet cunt.

Of course, you're already wet for him. It's not like you can be blamed, he's your boyfriend and you're ferociously down bad for him. At this point I'm almost sure he could turn you on by taking a shit but I digress!! He's been hard since he first had the idea of fucking you at the party, and wastes no time rectifying that. He slides in without warning, knowing you love when he's rough with you, treating you like some insatiable slut (though tbh you are, just like, exclusively for him).

You've taken his cock hundreds, no, probably thousands of times at this point (it's actually quite impressive, you'd probably have a Guiness world record if that kind of thing existed for sex) and you moan at the sudden intrusion, clenching wildly around his cock. He starts thrusting almost immediately, forcing every last inch of his big cock into your tight little hole, groaning when you whimper and cry out for him. He grabs at your hair and encourages you to cry out for him, to moan his name, to make sure everyone at the party knows who exactly it is that's making you feel so good, that he's the only one who could ever fill your pussy up like this. Like the absolutely angel you are, you obey his every command, preening at the cooing and attention he gives you when you listen to his instructions.

It's not long before he cums, filling you to the brim and bringing you over the edge with him. You think it's the end and start to make yourself presentable to join the party again but Joshua roughly throws you back on the bed, your pussy clenching involuntarily at the motion. The smirk he gives you as he turns you on your back to stare at him tells you you're in for a long, long night.

After 4, or maybe 5? more rounds, you're thoroughly fucked out and Joshua's finally beginning to feel spent. He figures he'll get you home so he can quite literally fuck you through the rest of the night, so he grabs your discarded panties and winds them around his index and middle finger, slowly starting to push them into your ravaged cunt that's still leaking his cum. You babble, an incoherent mess of "yes joshie", "please baby" and "give it to me please" spilling from your lips. And just because he's a generous man, Joshua, the ever so sweet gentleman, starts rubbing your clit, making you cum around his fingers and your panties.

You're absolutely delirious at this point, needing his help to stand up. And luckily for your boyfriend, when you're fucked out you're needy. The whole time he's trying to get the two of you dressed and presentable-ish so you can leave, you're whining, clinging to him, sucking hickey after hickey into his neck to try to leave your mark and stake your claim on him, though it's not really necessary. His hair is a mess, a light sheen of sweat making stray hairs stick to his forehead. Both your lips are red, swollen and now, courtesy of you not being able to keep your hands to yourself, you both have an array of red and purple bruises all over your necks (he leaves quite a few on your hips and thighs too, but he'll be damned if anyone else gets a glimpse of that). You, even after Josh's fruitless attempts, look like a hot fucking mess. Your makeup is smudged beyond salvation and your hair is a knotted mess thanks to round 3 where he came all over your face and made an absolutely sloppy mess out of you.

You start making your way down the stairs and out of the party, Joshua careful to shield your now bare ass and pussy from onlookers from below. Getting you to do anything when you're this cock drunk isn't an easy feat, with you clinging to and kissing Joshua at every single opportunity you can find. Some party goers that have only heard rumours about you being enamoured by the stoic nerd are slack-jawed, unable to comprehend that you, the hot, bubbly, outgoing, popular cheerleader is this much of a simp for someone who they can only describe as an attractive brick wall. Paying them no mind, your boyfriend guides the two of you out of the party, pressing kisses on your lips and whispering I love yous into your ear periodically.

The rest of the night is a blur of sex and aftercare in your shared appartment, with you falling asleep almost instantly the second you feel Joshua's big arms wrap around you as the two of you finally settle down for the night. Waking up in the morning, the previous nights events flood your memory, and Joshua wakes up to you with your big bright eyes happily blinking up at him, a wide smile on your face.

He looks at you with an inquisitive look, a "can I help you?” slipping out with a chuckle.

You shake your head with a smile, leaning up to press a sweet kiss to his lips, leaving him with nothing but a "happy Halloween baby" and a mischievous twinkle in your eye.

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hehe this was supposed to be a short little headcannon oops I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless :')

[ckret2]

Why do you ship billford? i want to hear all ur handcanons and reasons hehehe

ALL of them? My friend I do not think you comprehend the magnitude of the task you have requested. I can tell you some of them.

Here's a post I already wrote listing why I like them, and here's a post about what Ford thinks about Bill, and I just made a post about what Bill thinks about Ford because I've had it typed up on discord for ages and decided it needs its own post.

So, some headcanons:

⭐️ While most people who ship it headcanon that they had a romantic relationship of some kind pre-betrayal, my default headcanon is that they DIDN'T have a relationship—mainly because I enjoy making Bill, specifically, miserable, and I like headcanoning that Ford violently lost interest in Bill at the EXACT moment Bill developed a sincere interest in Ford.

Meaning that Bill "LOOKS LIKE MR. BRAINIAC FINALLY GOT SMART" Cipher destroyed his own chances five seconds before going "no no wait I actually want to keep this one," and that's SO funny. I made a graph!

⭐️ From Lost Legends we know that Ford used to date a siren. In the original Greek mythology, sirens didn't woo sailors by singing prettily; sirens offered knowledge about distant and future events. Sailors wrecked their ship upon the sirens' shores and starved to death at their feet just to listen to them sing about the secrets of the universe.

What I'm saying is: Ford has a type.

⭐️ This is a mutual monsterfucker 4 monsterfucker relationship. They look at each other and go "wow you're such a weird-looking alien" and they're attracted to each other BECAUSE of that, not in spite of that. I don't want any of this "oh how could I be drawn to something so strange..." shame out of Ford, as far as I'm concerned his first crush was Mothra, a floating triangle is nothing.

⭐️ Consequently, this means that if you take an AU where Bill gets stuffed in a human body, rather than making things easier, it ironically means that any PHYSICAL attraction Ford had for Bill instantly evaporates. A humanized Bill could be the sexiest damn thing in the room and everyone else in the vicinity is going 🥵💦 but Ford's going 😐. If they hook up with Bill in a human body it's in spite of Bill's current appearance and it's because Ford knows that, underneath the body, Bill's still Bill. You could hand Ford a perfect Tumblr Sexyman supermodel and he'll be fantasizing about a three-tiered pyramid with more teeth than a shark.

⭐️ Bill WILL play Dungeons Dungeons & More Dungeons with Ford, voluntarily, for fun. However he always wants to DM and he's brutal.

⭐️ I think that the majority of the Henchmaniacs used to be like Ford: young, naive, USEFUL aliens that Bill was trying to manipulate into getting access to their universes, probably by trying to get THEM to build portals. None succeeded, but they got far enough along that either they chose to join Bill, they were forced to flee their dimension and join Bill—or, due to Bill, their home no longer existed, so they might as well join him. I think that every one of them was once his ✨favorite✨ person. I think he sealed the deal in winning their friendship & loyalty with a calculated, scripted display of vulnerability—the exact same one he tried to use on Ford: I liberated my constricting, flat world; I want to liberate yours...

He may have dated some of them, too, especially right after they joined. Because he wouldn't have recruited them unless he thought they were JUST ♥ LIKE ♥ HIM. They're special, they're important...

... and after a few years, Bill realizes they're not that much like him after all and loses interest, and they sink down into the rank-and-file with the rest of the Henchmaniacs. The Henchmaniacs are FULL of people who were once Bill's Favorite—his best friends, his confidants, his lovers—and most of them are desperate to catch his eye and be that important to him again. They gave everything they had to Bill only for Bill to get bored.

So when he shows off the human who enabled Weirdmageddon and invites him to join the gang, they know EXACTLY what they're looking at: Bill's newest favorite. They know how this goes, he'll be gaga over this earthling for the next 5 to 500 years and then Ford will be just another regular Henchmaniac. The fact that Ford doesn't seem eager to join is no problem. Ford isn't the only soon-to-be Henchmaniac whose world Bill ended; some of them had to be talked around into joining, too.

⭐️ I think that, if you took Bill with his canon personality, didn't give him any character development, and then made him GENUINELY fall in love with Ford, and had him SINCERELY try his hardest to be a good, loving, healthy partner... he would still be toxic as hell for Ford.

Part of what draws Bill to Ford is that he sees SO much of himself in Ford—some accurate, some just projection. (You who crave power and fame and fortune like I do; you who also hunger to be all-knowing; you who would also sacrifice your world and your family and everyone you know and love to get what you want; you with an ego the size of the moon, oh, you deserve an ego the size of a star.) And so he assumes that what Ford really wants is what BILL would want in Ford's shoes.

And if Bill was Ford, what he'd want is to REALLY be the man who changed the world. Bill thinks he's fulfilling all Ford's wildest dreams if he gives that to him. Naming Ford the orchestrator of Weirdmageddon is the most generous gift Bill could ever offer.

Even if Bill is Really Really Trying and accepts that okay Ford doesn't want his world invaded: his idea of showing Ford love will be pulling the strings to get Ford fame & fortune. Teach him secrets of the universe that he can publish in a dozen groundbreaking scientific papers, arrange meetings with politicians and celebrities, get him a Nobel, get him an Oscar-winning bio pic, get him a billion dollars, get him EVERYTHING Ford's ever imagined as a marker of success and then double it.

When Bill's manipulating Ford, he offers praise and approval in little drops periodically leaking from the faucet, to keep Ford thirsty for more. When Bill's LOVING Ford, he just breaks the fire hydrant and lets it flood the street.

But the thing is, that's not good for Ford. That'll never make him truly happy. Ford's only ever learned how to measure his success by external markers, but the more external markers he collects the more he'll feel like he hasn't Made It yet. It's even possible that knowing Bill's helped him get this far will make him feel like he hasn't really EARNED it. He could have the whole world handed to him and he'll feel just as dissatisfied as he was on the day he first summoned Bill.

And Bill, even if he's trying his HARDEST to do this right, wouldn't be able to understand why this isn't working. A trillion years old and the only way he knows how to show love (or to receive love) is by showering someone in praise and gifts and favors. If that doesn't work, he doesn't know what's left.

[morroodle]

Something funny about a Morro who stops giving any fucks. Like before Harumi chills out and has her redemption or whatever, I think the contrast is funny because a Morro without all his drive and anger as furious as his winds is just :/ okay, nothing more to do here. He's at peace now, so he's like Grumpy Cat or Miette. He deserves to laze around and be bored and ^_^ "Sensei!!" as Wu hands him a bag of chips and all the Ninja are like 😐 also the imagery of someone going @/him with a spray bottle is funny, the hissing cat energy...so yeah, more villains trying to incite him to feel that anger again and join them and he's just, done. He wants a break and live with his dad again. Get to be the person he was before his obsession with becoming the green ninja changed him. It's like when someone goes to therapy or finally stops clenching their jaw so hard and they turn into pudding like "woah" everything you pent up inside just melts away and now you need some floor time. Bring a board with red strings connected "here's why you should join my evil army" *munching chips slowly, throws away the empty bag* "enlightening" *crosses arms behind head and leans back for a nap* *gets woken by loud banging noises* ok now u made him mad. Morro is on his retirement now. Fighting villains? Ninja training? Trying to destroy the world and get revenge? Sounds exhausting now. But if someone tries to disturb the peace that's when he'll do something and it's SPOOKY because he's like jelly or draped like a boneless cat over furniture but then someone's about to fuck shit up in his general vicinity and he opens one eye to glare at you and it's paralyzing so hey at least the Ninja know he cares somewhat on his own terms. Also he would like more snacks pls.

Hes retired but he does in fact still have rabies

[pinkpinkmermayyy]

Me: where's my friend pinky I haven't seen them on my dash

**goes to bother you sees that I must have hit unfollow last time I came to mass reblog** 😐😐😐

BUT HI YOUR BIRD IS SO SO CUTE She looks so bright and happy 💖💖💖💖

OMGG I HATE WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY UNFOLLOW A MOOT AND REALIZE A LONG TIME AFTER SKFHSKFHD 😭😭😭🤪

thank you, but little do you know, she’s not really happy, she’s hissing at me because I have the absolute audacity to exist within her vicinity /j (it was the first time I held her and since I am a Stranger she did not like me at first, this is her now though)