#in his 20s blowing any and all savings and fucking like no tomorrow

[lesbiangallagher]

and if i think blitzø may be bipolar? what then? what THEN?!

[datclassicrockfan42]

I have couple ideas about this episode idea:

1. First before they get idea of doing the dog show , they go through a couple other ideas(like the beginning of Monkees vs. The Machine)

2. Peter states that in order to enter in the competition they would have a get a dog. Mike brings up the landlord situation. Micky gets the idea to get the dog for the duration of the competition and when it’s all over, take the dog back. Mike kinda goes into this rant about how dogs are big commitment and not just something you can get for showies and drop it likes it’s a rock(which is completely true btw) and also brings up the landlord situation again(where are they going to keep the dog?)

3. In order to figure out who will be the dog, they all flashback to that one scene in Monkees Blow Their Minds, where they acted like dogs. They decided Davy is best candidate. Davy states that no one would believe he is a dog. Then he goes to get the mail. The mailman runs away at the sight of him saying “there’s a vicious dog near the door.”

4. The rest of the boys find a book about training dogs and use that to train Davy for the show. After a few simple tricks(sit,stay,roll over, play dead) we cue the romp sequence set to the appropriate song “I’m going to buy me a dog”

5 the romp sequence details the week of training. In this weeks Davy acts like a dog and the rest treat him as such. Some notable moments include: Davy eating out of a dog bowl, being sprayed by a water gun, then chasing Micky and Mike with the same gun, riding in the Monkeemobile as a dog would, going to the park and playing fetch.

(I should probably mention that Davy is walking around on all fours at this point)

6. Davy is admitted as Micky’s dog(who is posing as a celebrity(specifically movie star). Mike is there to as the dog breeder from Texas(yeehaw) and Peter is the dog trainer and groomer. They get away with any suspicion by saying “he’s a rare yorkie mix breed….from england.”(they say this a lot in this episode) Everyone buys it and treats him a dog.

7. We then meet the antagonist(who ima just call the “the dognapper”, his lackluster assistant(unnamed). his plan is to win the money by dognapping everyone else’s dogs.(oh and his dog is like the one from the end of The Chaperone). We also meet Davy’s one off love interest(cause almost every episode has one) Jackie and her small poodle, john.

8. Davy immediately falls in love with her(as usual) but is taken away to be prepared(we barely see this part.) meanwhile the dognapper takes several dogs away under the disguise of a veterinarian. As the show begins,out of the 20 dogs originally registered 10 remain. The dogs perform their tricks and sometimes when the “dog way” is too hard, Davy does things the human way.

9. Peter got fucking lost before the show and stumbles upon the dognapper napping more dogs before round two. Peter claims to stop them but is captured. Micky and Mike get suspicious about the disappearance of the dogs and Peter and go to look for him. Meanwhile backstage, Jackie talks to Davy about her love of animals, which only makes Davy fall harder for her. As of this moment, 5 dogs remain, including Davy, John, and the dognapper’s dog. Round two begins.

10. Micky and Mike search for Peter, splitting up(nooo my ship) They coke across a bunch of other competitions(like it Art for Monkees sake where they come across different art galleries) Round two ends and the unnamed assistant goes after John. Davy bites the man but is kicked to the floor. Before anyone could come in to save the dog, the assistant escapes.

11. Only two dogs remain Davy and the dognapper’s dog. The final round is an obstacle course. Meanwhile, Micky and Mike find Peter and all the missing dogs in the basement. After freeing them, they’re all caught and begins the second romp(this time set to Look out(here comes tomorrow) bc I really like that song.)

12. The romp is simple. Micky and Mike and Peter are being chased by the antagonists while the dogs run free. Meanwhile Davy competes in the obstacle course. At the end, the boys lead the dogs to the show, where the dogs are reunited with their owners, and the antagonists are caught and disqualified.

13. The boys are renowned for their bravery as the antagonists are taken away to jail. The judges state that they want to see one last trick before declaring the winner. Jackie personally thanks them for bringing back their dogs, especially her poodle. Davy then stands up, declares his love and kisses Jackie.(remember still thinks he’s a dog. Davy is declared the winner for his “trick”

14. The boys get the money to pay the bills and Jackie arrives with big news: Davy is on the cover of magazine!…..a dog lover magazine as the winner. Bonus: we get the irl Davy talking about acting like a dog and the rest of the gang talking about dog ownership.

Low on cash for the month, The Monkees decide to enter Davy Jones into a local dog show (Yorkie mix). He is not wearing a costume or anything, but still ends up as a finalist, winning the prize money. 

[generic-lab-assistant]

Here it is, the man, the myth, the Floridian

I wrote this all at work so sorry if its all summed up terribly i havent written fiction in a long ass time & i mainly write with bullet points & shitty scripts, i was planning to try and make a comic of him so maybe one day thatll happen, plus i might fuck around & make a comic where he enters the carnival and stuff, who knows- anyway since i wrote this at work and have god awful memory, go easy on me

Ralph is sitting in front of his camcorder (or whatever you used to record videos in 1980), after showing off his guns and acting like he knew how to load them, he quickly ran through his Epic Carter Removal Plan.

“Now, ya see, I have this timed bomb- once I press the special button on it then I got ‘round, eh, 15 minutes I think, to jump an’ tackle that sonuva bitch! Then, I’ll just hold him real tight and the bomb’ll go off! I’ll blow that corpse-raisin’ bastard to hell where ‘e belongs and save the damn country- plus, the world!!”

He pauses, then takes in a realization but smiles.

“Course I’ll ‘ave to die too, but itll be known that what i did was good when they get the news from ma’ dad. Ha- he’s gonna be so pumped to know that his son succeeded at somethin’!”

��Now, tomorrow is my big day, so to whoever ends up watchin’ this tape after I go blam, make sure nobody after Carter knocks down any satellites or raises any zombies. Good luck to me.”

He grins and shuts off the recorder.

*The Next Day, Nov 20. 1980: about 12:30 in the afternoon*

A small crowd gathers in Florida, Jimmy Carter is by a podium giving a speech. As he ends and is walking among the crowd (ala George Wallace, what up Bremer), Ralph presses the button on his bomb and begins to weave through the people and towards Carter. Once hes only a few feet away, he looks on with an anime-like sense of determination and sprints the rest of the few feet to Carter- leaping through the air and tackling the president to the concrete- yelling ‘IVE GOT YOU YA SONUVA BITCH!!’- as people yell and scream and two policemen rush to grab Ralph off of him.

As they grab him, his thoughts run theough him in a panic:

“Why’d the bomb not go off?? Why the hell didn’t it go off??!!”

As he is dragged away he yells at the officers- “Goddammit Im rigged to explode! Let me go! Let me the hell go!! Im bout ta blow the fuck up if ya dont let me go dammit!!”

He continues to panic and attempt to get out of the policemens grips, when his bomb timer beeps. With a sharp yell of ‘DAMN YOU ALL-‘ only slightly cut off at the end as the explosive goes off and Ralph & the policemen explode. Blood & bits of gore and miscellaneous bits & pieces rain from the sky and hit those in crowd, several people who were the closest retain a few minor injuries after the incident, but those harmed the most are the two (now dead) pigs, and Ralph, who is almost unrecognizeable as he is now in very many various bloody parts.

His parts are picked up and disposed of after a quick autopsy in a cheap wooden box, not even a coffin. His only relative is his father, who could care less about proper burial. He is only left with a headstone in a Floridian cemetary: ‘Ralph Hewitt Myers

Oct 8. 1949-

Nov. 20. 1980’

[dystopia-fantasy]

Always read the job description -Part 1

Max was a fit, well built man. He had been body building since he was 14 and now In his early 40s he has the body of a god, but is slowly getting to the age when he needs to find another way to make money. He knows he can't take part in his competitions anymore, and needs to take it easy. He got great grades in school and college, proving people wrong that you can't be a nerd in a jock body.

Max had some money saved and was able to keep up on bills for a few months but needed a job to keep his large house, in the rich area of the city. He got a call from a business he applied to a couple of days ago, telling him to go in for an interview tomorrow, and if it goes well he will be sent straight on a trip for the company. He gets his new blue suit ready to be worn the next day.

The morning arrives, it's 5am, and Max wakes. He does his normal morning routine, making breakfast, working out, taking a shower, then gets his suit on ready for his early morning interview. Driving to the office building in the middle of New York, it's at least 50 stories high, and is made of mostly glass, and is one of the newest modern builds in the city.

On arrival a large man in his late 60s wearing a suit greets him, "hello sir, you must be max, Sir Mammon is on his way down to collect you, may I say what an amazing suit you have on today".

Max looks the man up and down, seeing the man's huge belly flowing out from under his dress shirt, showing a massive W shape, "thanks mate, you might want a bigger shirt" then points to his belly.

"sorry if I offended you sir, but all clothing has been chosen by Sir Mammon himself" Mammon is the big boss of the business "if you would like to make a complaint I can print you a form".

Max laughs, "No thanks, I'm gonna sit over there, tell Mammon im there".

"will do sir, have a great day" the man says while max walks away paying no more attention to him.

About 15 minutes later a young handsome slender man walks over. "Max is it?" He says behind Max.

"yes.." max says confused.

"I'm Mammon, nice to meet you" he smiles holding his hand out for a shake.

"oh hello Mammon, is wasn't expecting someone so young, no offence of course" max shaking his hand.

Mammon let's out a little laugh, with a little grin "it's ok max, people don't expect someone like me to own such a remarkable company like this one would you like to follow me, we can go up to my office, this is Mark by the way, he's my Butler". Mark is another large man aged around 50, he has a massive belly stuffed into his suit, hes huffing and puffing, like he ran a marithon, "don't mind him, most of my staff are..."

Max cuts him off "fat?"

They both laugh, "you could say that Max" the elevator arrives and they all walk in, "now max, you did read the whole advertisement correct?".

Max didn't, it's was 48 pages long, who would read it all? He just looked at the wage he would get, it started at $100,000 per month. "Yes, I did".

"that's good, most guys are more keen to keep their body's but I guess if your struggling you'll do anything."

Max now confused just nod's and watches though the glass elevator as they fly up to the top floor.

"where here sir" Mark the butler says peacefully in his British accent.

They walk into the room, and Mammon sits at his desk pouring himself a glass of wisky, and Max one too. Max looks around in aww, the room was covered in art work, with the walls painted in golds and whites and had its own bar. "How do you have all this money?" Max asked.

"a mix of many things, this company, and a few investments paid for this whole building, I have many other ways but we're not here for that." Mammon points at the seat," take a seat max" Max sits the chair is made from leather and is very comfy. "So, max, I've gone through your file, I think you're perfect for the job."

"so, does that mean I have the job?" Max replies confused, expecting to be asked a question.

"well yes, if you agree to the terms"

"terms?" Max still confused.

"well yes, you expect to be paid 10times the amount the normal person for this job without any terms or conditions?"

"well I didn't know.." Max gets cut off.

"Max let me simplify them for you. You sacrifice your body to the company, and in trade you get, $100k X the amount you weigh paid into your account per month, So if you weigh 450lbs, you get $450k a month."

"what the fuck? That's sick, I'm not doing that, I'm leaving" and with that Max got up from the chair and stood face to face with Mammon, with the desk all that is separating them. "Your sick, you fa**ot".

With that Mammon's eyes glow a bright red. "I'm a what?" Max got through back against the chair by an invisible force. "Max you could have just left with your freedom, but now look what you've gotten yourself into".

"Let me go, What the fuck?" Max says while traped against that chair, it chreeking with the force of his muscle.

"I'm a fucking demon max, I'm never going to 'let you go'" he took a second break to mock max, "now, what did you say? Fa**ot, was it?".

"fuck, I didn't mean it" the force pins him down harder, trapping his arms against the leather chair arms, and pushing his legs against the underboard. "Please let me go home, I won't do it again."

"shut up max, the process is already starting".

Max looks down to see his body deflating, his pecs turning from mountain peaks to a flat surface, his giant powerful arms turning weak and light. And then looking up he sees a whole new man infront of him.

"Not as big as I thought I would get, but boy I'm big" he took a break to admire his new giant arms and pecs.

"what the?" Max looks in confusion, "how did you do that? Give me them back".

"what are you gonna do max? I'm an infinitely powerful being and you, your an old man, or at least your going to be."

"I'm only 42, what do you mean, going to be?"

"you see I don't have my infinite life span on earth, so to stay alive and in this fit body, I absorb anything a guy has and I want. In your case, these massive muscles, but then I need to absorb their life force as well, in order to make sure I don't age."

"what do you mean life force?"

"well, you have roughly 50 years, worth of life left, I'll drain about 20 years leaving you in your future crippled body at around age 60, force you to work for the company for another 20 years, then when your 80 drain the rest of your life, which after you get fat won't be much, then you got to hell."

"man your sick, let me go, LET ME GO!".

A bright red light shoots from Peters hand enveloping Max's whole body, and he starts to age, his face wrinkling, skin dropping, eye sight worsening, hearing getting muffled, and mind changing a little. "Max, you ok old man?".

"yes sir" max was confused in his mind, why did he say sir?

"max, you ready for your Cruise? You can have tones of food for the next 6 months."

"Yes sir, I'm ready" max lifts his head, opening his eyes to see a new blurry room from his new old eyes.

"you're gonna need these from now on" Peters eyes glow and a new pair of glasses appear on Max's face he can now see clear.

"thank you... Sir", max blinks seeing Peter infront of him, "what have you, done to me".

"Max, I've turned you into the perfect office worker, old, brainiac, who is soon going to get fat and live the rest of his life, in an office chair for me, don't worry for accomodation you live here now, we have apartments on floor 30 to 40, all workers live here, it's policy, we have also sent a team to your house to, well, blow it up, that way nobody is going to be looking for you, becuase we can plant a body"

"give me... My.... Body back, give me... My.. life back."

"Max we both know that will never happen, now enjoy a life of gluttony, and prepare yourself for hell, that's gonna be worse then anything I can do to you." Peter snaped his fingers and a red glow enveloped max.

Recovering from the glow max sees two men infront of him with a trolly of sorts between them. "Is he awake" one says,

"I don't know" said the other.

"im- awake" max said in a much older raspy voice.

"good we can now start the feeding" the man on the left said, his body as muscled as a god, ripped from head to toe, and we can see everything.

Max rubs his eyes under his glasses and opens them again, "Fucking hell, put some clothes on both of you".

Both men where nude, one a ripped god, another muscled up but with a big gut. "Clothes are banned here mate" the beefy man said in a type of Australia accent, "you cant say much fella, look at that tiny pecker".

The men laughed pointing at Max's shriveled up old cock and low hanging balls, "what the fuck"max tries to move his arm to cover him but his arm doesn't move, he looks down to see him stuck in a chair, with a cut out hole under his ass, and straps tying him down, trapping him. "What... Are you gonna do to me?" Max asked sceared.

The men laughed at him again, "no need to act to sceared, we're here to feed you for the next 6 months".

"but... Sir said..." Max get cut off.

"he said you'd be going on a cruise? Fucking hell are you dumb? He's a demon, you shouldn't trust a demon" The muscled guy says.

"bro let's start the feeding we have 50 other guys to see and I wanna watch football Tonight." The beefy guys says, and in unison both their eyes glowed a bright red, showing they where demons too.

The trolly between them had several items on top, one long tube, which floated in the air for a few moments before shoving itself down maxes nostril and deep into his stomach, his head flipped back trying to wriggle it out, but it was stuck. Another item moved into his frame, a IV bag holder, holding a giant barrel type object made of glass, and two large bags floated of the table again and started to drain into the barrel, and the tube connected itself to it, starting a flow of the liquid into maxes stomach.

"done" the beffy guy said. "Now we'll be back tomorrow to refill your barrel, and clean you up if you make a mess, but youll basically be unconscious for the next 6 months, due to the drugs were feeding you."

"so enjoy your sleep mate, you'll litterally wake up a different man." The two men laughed and walked out, max tried fighting the restraints but in his crippled form could do nothing. The door slammed and locked, and the room fell dark, max screamed begging into the darkness to be let free, and to have his life back, which he had only an hour before, but nothing happened, nobody came. He felt the drugs taking effect, but tried to fight back, but it was useless, his body slumped and loosened. His mind fell blank as he drifted of into his 6 month hibernation.

[harrylilies]

The Royal Series | Pt. III

The Royal Series Masterlist

---

"Care to tell me what's on your mind?" Harry asked softly as you sat on his kitchen counter while he made pancakes for a late-night snack, something your nutritionist would've scolded you for. "What happened?"

You stopped swinging your dangling feet, your eyes fixated on the floor. "Had a fight with Granny."

"The Queen?" Harry whispered reluctantly.

You nodded. "We call her Granny,” you said, “Look, Harry," gulping, you looked up at him, "I don't know your intentions and I don't know what the future holds but," you paused, "But I, you know," you shrugged, watching Harry raise an eyebrow at you, egging you to say it.

"You know," Your hands were wild as you spoke, body temperature hot enough to have you fidgeting.

"I really don't." He chuckled.

You groaned, letting your hands fall on your lap. "I like you, alright?!" Harry grinned, turning the stove off before crossing his arms across his chest, facing you.

"And it's so crazy, it feels like that cartoon movie, Frozen, is it? But I feel like I've known you for so long. I've never," you paused again before slumping and letting out a chuckle, "I've never been on a date with someone who didn't talk about my status or family the entire date and you didn't do it all 4 times. I won't blame you if you run off, it's a heavy baggage and now I'm rambling about me liking you and I know I'm going to regret this moment in a few hours bu-"

With his hands cupping your cheeks, Harry interrupted you with his lips on yours. You were still for a moment before allowing yourself to get completely lost into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck as his were around your waist.

It wasn't until you both needed to breath did you pull away. "My intentions are good." He whispered, slowly opening his eyes.

You nodded, a faint smile on your lips. "Good."

"And I like you, too."

You bit your lip to contain the wide grin, "Good."

"Just good?" He chuckled, leaning down to peck your lips one more time.

"I mean, you're alright." You joked, leaning back to look at him.

Harry rolled his eyes, chuckling nonetheless.

He looked down, before sighing and picking his head up. "So, what now?"

"What?" You asked him quietly.

"What do I do to be with you? What do I need to do to have you?" He asked gently, intently staring into your eyes.

Your breath hitched in your throat for a second. Soothingly, you let your hand rest on his cheek. "Nothing," you shook your head. "Just want you as who you are, nothing else."

"But your famil-"

"Will understand." You finished for him. "We're not going to rush anything, alright? I'll let you think. I know, Harry," You nodded with a smile. "I know how hard this is."

And the kiss you both then shared was all the assurance each of you needed.

---

"I'm tired." You groaned, resting your head on the couch beside Meghan, who was soon to be your sister-in-law.

"Oh, hush. You've been picking flowers with us only for 2 hours." She laughed.

"Who picks flowers for 2 hours? They're flowers! All flowers are beautiful." You said, looking at her with your eyebrows raised.

"Not my fault your family's uptight." She said quietly under her breath, raising her eyebrow at you.

"It's your wedding, Markle. Do whatever you want."

"If it weren't for your brother, I probably would've ended up marrying you." She joked, letting her head fall on your shoulder with a tired sigh.

"No, you're too old for me."

She laughed, swatting your arm.

"My gals!" You heard your brother, Har's voice, seeing him enter the room with a grin on his face, his hair tousled on his head. "How was it?" He asked, leaning down to peck Meghan's lips and to press a kiss on the top of your head. "Thank you for helping her, Tiny."

You smiled up at him, "Only helping because I love her."

"Love you, too, baby sis." Meghan dramatically threw her arms around you, squishing you in a hug, making you laugh.

"Any updates?" Your brother asked as he sat on the chair in front of you.

"About?"

"The lad you decided to like who also shares the same name as yours truly. Short hair, green eyes, tall, sings, ca-"

"Woah there, fanboy. Someone did their research." You laughed, eyebrows going up.

"Have to," he shrugged. "Now, answer me, will you?"

"We're taking it slow. Told him to think, let it sink in a couple of days ago. It's a heavy baggage. You'd know." You said, looking at Meghan who nodded.

"It is heavy but if it's meant to be, it falls into place." She assured you, looking at Harry for a moment.

Har nodded, "You're doing it right, Tiny. Granny loves you; she'll learn to accept your choices. She just wants to cling to what she had to do when she was your age, and with Will and I not marrying someone from royal blood or whatever the fuck she calls it, it’s just some added pressure on you. She'll come along."

You sighed, nodding. "I hope so."

---

"Charity conference?" You asked you assistant as you took off your earrings.

"Done." She confirmed, tapping on her iPad.

"The dinner meeting?"

"Done."

"Do I have anything else planned for tonight?" You asked her, turning around and facing her.

"No, you're free for the rest of the night and tomorrow morning. You have dinner with your siblings and Prince Charles tomorrow at 7."

You nodded, "I remember. Thank you so much, Em." You smiled at her, patting her shoulder, "Don't know what I'd do without you."

"Be so lost that you’d be a disgrace of the family?" She giggled, shrugging.

"True." You pointed at her, “But I think I’m already working on that.”

You and Emilie go 4 years back.

She was 22 when she got the job as your assistant and was someone whom you were comfortable around as she wasn't too formal. She was the perfect mix of professionalism and laidback and definitely saved you from embarrassment and trouble countless times.

Your phone rang on your nightstand, making you hurry towards it. You smiled, instantly answering. "Hello?"

"Think I can steal you for the night?"

You glanced at Em who had a teasing smirk on her face, watching you with her arms crossed over her chest. You blushed, turning the other way. "Think you can."

"I'll pick you up from the same place I came to on first date, is that alright?"

"It's perfect, yes."

"Wear something comfortable. I'll see you in 20, love."

"See you." You hung up, looking back at Em, "Stop looking at me like that, you doughnut."

"I'm not looking at you like anything." She shrugged, "In fact I won't look at you like anything at all, I'll just leave."

"I hate you sometimes." You laughed, throwing your fluffed pillow at her, making her laugh and blow you a sarcastic kiss.

You wore your former university's crewneck sweatshirt and leggings before putting on your converse. You took your hair out of the fancy bun it was in, letting it into waves.

A knock startled you, making you face your bedroom door. "Come in!"

The door opened and in came your father, Prince Charles. "Oh, you're going somewhere?"

"I'm just meeting someone, Pa. Is everything alright?" You asked, using the name you loved to use to call him instead of the “daddy” you were raised to say.

He smiled, nodding. "I just wanted to check on you before leaving."

You tilted your head, smiling. "Is that really why?"

He chuckled, shaking his head and pointing his finger at you. "Smart like your mother."

You chuckled softly, your eyes falling to the ground. He took your hand softly in his, sitting you both down on the sofa. "I heard about him."

You let out a quiet groan — something you've been doing for a while now. "Granny?"

He nodded. "She told me how this isn't good for you and for the image.” When you remained quiet, he continued, "Want to know what I said?"

You looked at him and nodded, your heart thumping in your chest.

"Told her you should control your own life."

You smiled, wrapping your arms around him. "Thank you so much, Pa."

"Whether this is long-term or not, I want you to experience life on your own, darling. I want you to experience everything and try. I don't want you to look back at your life and frown." He rubbed your back soothingly, talking gently. "And I don't just mean the young man you're seeing, I mean your whole life. Make mistakes, so what? As long as you survive and know how to handle it, then do it."

You nuzzled your face in his shoulder, squeezing him. "I love you, Pa."

"I love you, too, darling. Now go, I believe you have somewhere to be." He pulled back, giving you a smile. With a kiss to his cheek, you scurried off.

---

What you hadn’t expected, was seeing Harry leaning against a red pickup truck as you got out of the car.

“What is this?” You asked warily with excitement.

“Rented this baby for the night.”

"Are you for real?" You grinned, looking at the in front of you with Harry leaning on the passenger door, a bashful smile on his face. "That's not it." He said, reaching out with his hand, letting you put your hand in his and follow him where he stopped in front of the cargo bed, making you see the duvet covering it and about 10 pillows to make it comfortable. "The stars look great tonight and I figured we can watch them. Together."

You let out a laugh, looking at him in pure amusement. "Then let's star gaze."

Holding your hand in his and helping you inside the truck, he pecked your lips quickly before shutting the door and making his way towards the driver's seat. "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere where your guards won't look at me like I'm stabbing you." Harry chuckled, driving off.

None of you were sure when or how, it might have happened after you accidentally switched to a children radio station, but you and Harry were singing lullabies as he drove.

"Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop, when the wind blows, the cradle will rock," You and Harry sang quietly, your hand out of the window as you drove down the road.

"When the bough breaks," Harry sang.

"The cradle will fall," You motioned with your hands as if something was falling.

"And down will come baby, cradle and all." You both sang, giggling as you finished.

Down a dirt-road, Harry stopped the truck.

Right as you were about to open the door, Harry beat you to it, opening it and holding his palm out for you to take. You both walked to the back of the truck, Harry’s hands on your waist as he helped you up.

He jumped in, making sure you were comfortable and had enough pillows before he lied on his back, you mirroring him as he put a blanket on top of you. You smiled, looking at the sky in front of you.

"The stars do look wonderful." You whispered, tilting your head towards him.

Harry didn't reply, only grazing your hand with his. "I thought about it."

You turned your face towards him, your eyes skimming over his features, knowing what he was talking about. "Yeah?"

Harry looked back at you, his fingers moving to intertwine yours. "I'm willing to take the risk, Y/N."

You grinned, sitting up and leaning on your elbow. "You know you can tell me you don't want to do this, right? I'd understand."

He chuckled, rolling his eyes at you before leaning on his elbow, his face close to yours. "Y/N," Harry let out a laugh, raising his eyebrows, "I literally just told you I want to do this. I want to be with you."

You let out a breath, slumping down, resting your head on the pillow with a dumbfound smile. Harry's dimples were seen as he smiled, looking down at you.

"I'll do my best, Y/N." He whispered.

Looking into Harry's green eyes, you replied, "And that's all that matters."

Harry leaned down, capturing your lips with his. "I'm traveling in a couple of days."

"Way to ruin the mood, Styles."

Harry laughed, throwing his head back. "I'm sorry, I had to. I still have to finish my tour." His hand found your cheek, seeming to not know how to stop himself from caressing your skin softly.

"How long will you be gone?"

"2 weeks before I'm back again for a week."

"Think we can make the most of these two days?" You asked, your face leaning against his palm.

"Think we can." Was what he said before pressing his lips against yours.

---

"The plane goes," you dragged before picking Charlotte up and spinning her, "Whoooosh!"

She laughed excitedly as you let her down on her feet. "Again, Titi, again!"

Titi was Charlotte's way of saying "auntie", something that had the entire family swooning.

"You'll get dizzy, love. Let's sit down for a bit, alright?" You sat on the grass, Charlotte plopping on your lap. "Oof!" You joked, lying on your back with your arms spread, making her laugh.

"Titi! Up! Wake up!" She lied on your chest, making you wrap your arms around her.

You opened your eyes, seeing her face close to yours, your noses almost touching. "Where's your brother?"

"Which one?"

"Smart girl." You chuckled.

"Auntie!" You heard your other favourite voice, making you look towards the voice.

"There's my Prince!" You grinned, watching George run towards you with a grin, William behind him.

George fell in your arms, wrapping his small arm on his sister who rested her head on your chest. "How was the meeting?" You asked your brother, squinting your eyes as you looked at him.

"Eventful. I'm glad it's done." He sat down on the grass beside you, his legs in front of him as he leaned on his palms. "How was your little night getaway, Juliet?" He teased you.

"What's with everyone teasing me?" You furrowed your eyebrows, looking at your nephew and niece, "Papa isn't being nice, bubs."

"Papa!" They both scolded, raising their heads and looking at him.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." He raised one hand up defensively, making you laugh.

"To answer your question, it was nice." You smiled at him before looking at George and Charlotte who were playing with the tassel in your blouse.

"Did you both talk?"

You nodded, "We did. Gave him a couple of days to think and grasp everything."

"From what I read about him, h-"

"Please tell me you didn't actually do that, Will." You laughed, shaking your head at him.

"Of course, I did!" He replied instantly, "Let me finish, will you? As I was saying, from what I read, he seems decent. Kind lad."

"He is, Will. He's," You paused, looking for the right word. "He feels so real, you know? Like he's effortless. He's easy to be around and you wouldn't question him. He's not- not fishy, you know? Fake in other words."

"All that you knew from what? A month?" William smiled, letting his hand stroke your hair.

You nodded, "Isn't hard to pick up."

"I support you, Tiny. As long as you keep looking after my children while I treat their mother." He joked, ruffling your hair.

"Disgusting. I think 3 is enough."

"I didn't mean it like that!" He laughed, "When did you become so vulgar?"

"When you left me with George 4 years ago and now look, he's not your only child."

[none-but-y0u]

yes i’m posting this twice. idk how to use this site correctly, and i have no shame so we move

Saw this post by @memes-saved-me​ HAD to write a fic about it because it wouldn’t leave my mind

___________________________________________________________________

Months after the fight, Billy hadn’t really made up with Steve per se. He hadn’t said those two words because in his opinion, they held no weight if there wasn’t any action behind it. But still, Hawkins was only so big, and the Party was only so small, so eventually they had to get to a point where Steve didn’t flinch at every purr of the camaro and where Billy didn’t feel like something was clawing away at the insides of him every time Steve avoided him.

So nowadays, if they ever saw each other out and about, it was more of a head nod that symbolized “I’ll leave the kids alone, if you promise you’re keeping Max safe” type of thing. And occasionally this extended to a “I’m at the quarry. You’re at the quarry. We’re not going to talk about the deep bags under your eyes or the darkening bruises on mine, but we can share this blunt and pretend we’re angsty teens, even if it’s just for a moment.”

In school, it worked similarly. Tommy was still on his weird homoerotic pulling pigtails thing where he would say comments about dethroning King Steve, but would also always seem to have his eyes on him everywhere he went.

And Billy knew all about homoerotic pulling pigtails. Had his fair share of pulling pigtails with a certain recently dethroned, brown eyed, king, and that got him nowhere except blood on his fists and a syringe in his neck. But he’d let Tommy figure that one out on his own.

Read more under the cut or on ao3 HERE

“Yo, Hargrove,” Tommy shouted across the parking lot, waving him over.

Looking up, Billy took count of who was around - a bunch of preppies he definitely didn’t have time for today - and shook his head before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. He could quietly hear Tommy mutter a “this fucker” before walking over to Billy.

“Dude, you didn’t hear me calling you?”

“What is it, Hagan?” he muttered, not even sparing him a look.

Tommy leaned back against the camaro, attempting to look cool and nonchalant, but quickly moved upon seeing Billy’s glare. He opted for crossing his arms and plastering a glare on his face. “You seen Harrington?” he asked, squinting towards the emptying school building.

“Why the fuck would I have seen him?” Billy huffed, blowing out a stream of smoke.

“I dunno. I see you guys sometimes in the halls or in the cafeteria, so I just thought that you and he were-”

“We were what?” Billy glares, cutting him off. Tommy has the good sense to take a step back.

“Nothing, man. I just thought you were friends or something.”

Billy scoffs, rolling his eyes. “So ‘cause I don’t pull Harrington’s pigtails like you do, that means we’re friends?”

“Pigtails- I don’t! I’m with Carol!” Tommy stutters out, his freckles standing out more as his face goes red.

Billy gives him a pointed look before taking another drag.

“You used to do it too. Before you got all soft for him,” Tommy mumbles after a moment.

And Billy doesn’t have time to deal with Tommy and his unrequited, unrealized feelings for his ex best friend. Took him long enough to figure it out himself, and he doesn’t feel like going down that road again. “Fuck you want, Hagan.” He says, a slight growl in his throat.

“Nothing, man. I just didn’t know if you saw him. That’s all. He wasn’t in class today, and you know how everyone is with him now that he’s...you know,” Tommy trails off.

“Ain’t that your doing?”

Tommy flushes again, rubbing the back of his head. “Mm, Yeah, I guess.” He goes silent a moment before. “Hey, me and Carol are going to the Mart after this if you wanna’ come.”

“Hard pass,” Billy chortles, throwing his cigarette to the ground. Moving past Tommy, he walks to the driver’s side.

“Yeah, course,” Tommy says. His face is downturned, and Billy can see the slight bit of hurt staining Tommy’s face. Closing his eyes, he sighs to himself. Knows he has to correct this because Tommy’s doesn’t mean any actual harm. Just wants to know if his ex-best friend is okay.

“Have to drive my sister around, that’s all,” he gets out. Tommy’s face lights up at that just as the familiar dash of red works its way through the crowd.

“Yeah, alright. Catch you tomorrow then.”

He starts to walk away, and Billy curses at himself for being weak enough to ask. “If you hear from Harrington before Monday..."

Tommy turns, grinning with a knowing look. “I’ll let you know.”

Max finally gets to the car, skateboard in hand, dirt smudged across her forehead, and a cut on her cheek.

“You’re late, shitbird. Didn’t I tell you 4:00? Not 4:20.” Billy mutters, getting into the car.

“You can take me to the arcade,” she says, ignoring him.

“What happened to your face?”

She pulls down the visor, examining her face. “Nothing.”

“Maxine.”

“Don’t call me that, William ."

“What happened to your face?” And then, when she still hasn’t said anything minutes later, he adds, softer. “I don’t want Neil to think..." And she knows what he means. Goes real quiet, picking at a scab on her arm before.

“Nothing. Just a couple of boys. But I handled them. I’m fine, really.”

He takes his eyes off the road, looking her over for any other bruises, before nodding. “There’s some bandaids and stuff in there,” he says, nodding towards the glove department.

“Billy, I’m-”

“Fine. Yeah, I know. Just clean it at least. So it doesn’t get infected.”

She gives him a look before complying. “I said I’m fine. I can handle them,” she huffs.

A small smile sneaks onto his face as he watches his sister not sister angrily clean the mark on her face. Yeah. She can definitely handle them.

___

They’re driving home after the arcade, something heavy blasting through the radio, when the light turns red, and he comes to a stop. Looking out the window, he notices Tommy’s car at the Mart. After a moment, its owner walks out from the store. Following someone. Always following someone. And then the person turns, and Billy’s heart momentarily stops before filling with anger.

Steve’s leading Tommy and Carol, but his face is all different shades of blue and purple with an accent of red dancing over his lips. He says something to Tommy, arms flailing, as he tries to walk off. Reaching out, Tommy grabs his arm, pushing him towards the hood of his car. After a moment, Steve listens, sitting down and placing his head in his hands.

And the whole scene reminds him of before, except this time, Billy’s knuckles aren’t covered in red. There’s a rage boiling in his gut. “You know who did that to him?” he manages to get out.

Max follows his eye line before nodding. “Dustin said some guy called Sean jumped him or something.”

“Sean as in Stephens?” he asks, fingers crushing the cigarette in his hand.

She turns to him, a worried look on her face. “What are you going to do?”

Billy sneaks another look at Steve, and the anger festers within him. The light turns green, and he curls his fingers around the wheel. “I’m gonna make sure he doesn’t touch Steve ever again.”

___

Steve’s signature BMW is already at the quarry, by the time Billy pulls up the next day. He leans on the hood, staring up at the sky. Billy checks himself in the mirror before making his way over to him.

“You got bruises on your hands today,” Steve says with a nod.

“You got bruises on your face,” Billy shrugs.

Steve chuckles, “Yeah, I guess.” His eyes sweep over Billy’s body before settling on his face. His tongue darts out over his lips, and Billy has a strong desire to chase after it. Wants to feel Harrington’s blood on his own lips.

He looks away. “What, man?”

“Nothing. Not used to seeing you without them.” Another lookover. “You got freckles, you know that?”

It’s only then that Billy really understands the whole King Steve thing. Completely gets why no matter how much Tommy claims to hate him, he can’t keep his eyes off of him. There’s just something about the way Steve looks at you like he’s scavenging your body for its deepest secrets because he genuinely wants to know everything about you. Like he actually cares about you.

“Yeah, well, I’m not used to seeing you with them,” he stutters out.

“I think I look kinda badass.”

Billy scoffs because of course some sick part of him finds a roughed up Steve who’s still got that loveable charm incredibly attractive, and the thought bubbles in his gut uncomfortably.

“What? You don’t like it? Don’t think I look pretty enough?” He takes a step closer, encroaching on Billy’s space with that dangerous smirk on his lips. Billy feels all sense leave him, suddenly feeling like all those girls who probably stay up all night thinking about their one moment with King Steve. And what’s happening right now. This moment right here. This is most definitely his moment.

Steve takes another step, eyes sweeping over Billy again. He goes to curl his lower lip into his mouth when-

“Ah fuck!” There’s a trail of flesh blood staining his lips from the recently opened wound.

“This is like the tenth time today. It’s never gonna’ heal at this point,” he groans. “I hate this so much.”

Shaking his head, Billy goes to his car, grabbing the first aid kit.

“Come here,” he says curling his hand around Steve’s wrist. Steve makes a small oomph sound at the sudden movement, but complies nonetheless.

Pulling out an alcohol swab, he goes to press it to Steve’s lip, but Steve stops him. “That’s gonna sting.”

“Don’t be a baby.”

“I’m not,” he huffs. “I just- ah shit !” He glares as Billy runs the swab over the cut. “Maybe warn a guy next time.”

Billy scoffs, “There won’t be a next time.”

“Yeah, we’ll see,” Steve hums. “Everyone’s gonna wanna take a jab at their old king sooner or later.”

“Nah. I won’t let that happen.”

“What? You gonna follow me around all day being my knight in shining armor?” Steve quips with a raised brow.

And Billy so wants to say yes. Wants to say he’ll be his knight in shining armor and so much more if Steve’ll let him.

“Stop talking before you bust your lip open again.”

Steve smirks as Billy works his way through each cut and bruise. “You did a pretty shit job at this,” Billy says after a moment.

“And you’re doing too good of a job at this,” Steve counters. Billy’s hands still, and his mouth drops slightly. “Don’t worry. I’m not gonna say anything. Just think that you’re doing all this for me, and I never did this for you,” he says with a shrug. “Just seems like you’re doing a lot for me.”

And Billy would do anything for Steve if it meant he’d get to run his hands down the angle of his jaw like this, or if he got to count the moles on his face, or if he got to run his fingers over the curve of his lips like this.

“What’re you doing, Bill,” Steve exhales, breath fanning out over his lips.

Billy hesitates for a moment before...“I’m taking care of you.”

___

Steve’s back in school on Monday. And Tommy spends ten minutes talking about how Steve probably got his ass handed to him by whomever beat his face in. But when Sean Stephens walks past them, face looking ten times worse than Steve’s, Tommy changes his tune and spends the next twenty minutes praising Steve’s fighting skills.

Billy spends the day with his hands in his pockets, and a grin on his face.

[seagreen-meets-grey]

When Lightning Strikes Ch. 16

When your life is nothing but a cloudless sky, lightning can come and strike you so unexpectedly, you won’t even know what hit you.

Or: When Hiccup and Astrid meet, it is as if lightning strikes.

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9] [Chapter 10] [Chapter 11] [Chapter 12] [Chapter 13] [Chapter 14] [Chapter 15] [Chapter 17] [Chapter 18] [Chapter 19] [Chapter 20]

Crossposted on ao3 and ff.net

_______________

Hiccup regretted not going back for a jacket the minute the wind started blowing sideways. His hand hurt from gripping the handle of his umbrella, preventing it from succumbing to the forces of nature and escaping him like a gas-filled balloon. When it turned inside-out for the third time, he gave up and closed it, hunching his shoulders in an attempt to keep the rain from disappearing down his back. It only semi-worked. He could count the goosebumps on his skin. Soon, his t-shirt was clinging to his torso and he started rubbing his arms to stop shivering.

This had been a very stupid idea. Why had he not thought this through? Where was he even going? And why on earth had he not taken his car?! But turning around and walking back to his house sounded worse than to keep walking, because the way back was the direction the rain and wind were coming from. He started jogging to warm up and get out of this weather as fast as possible, taking the route to the nearest person he could think of.

With a trembling finger, he rang the doorbell, waiting for the familiar static. The first voice he could hear was that of a barking dog, then some swearing and yelling at the dog to shut up, then finally, someone addressed him. “Hello?”

“Hey man, it’s me. Can you let me in? I’m cold and wet.”

“That’s not what- Shut up, Hookfang! Sit! That’s not what your mom said last night.”

Hiccup let his forehead fall against the front door. “Just let me in, please.”

The sound that came out of the buzzer reminded him of a dying cow, but he was able to open the door anyway. At the top of the stairs, Snotlout was standing in the open apartment door, holding his excited dog by the collar. When it spotted Hiccup, it wagged its tail against its owner’s legs and barked happily.

“Come in before he barks up the whole stairwell again. Mr. Browner’s been sticking his head out the door every time we came back from a walk to complain if Hookfang made even the tiniest of sounds. And you know he’ll make the sound if he sees people.” Before he closed the door, he yelled down the stairs, “Yes, Mr. Browner, I’m talking about you, you massive dick!”

Hiccup scratched the happy dog, trying to escape its tongue. “Wouldn’t massive dick be a compliment in your book?”

“What?”

“Nothing. Do you have a jacket for me?”

“What do you need a jacket for?”

Hiccup wordlessly pointed first at his clothes, then out the next window. “Oh, come on…” Of course, in the few minutes he’d spent inside, the rain had let up. A small patch of cloud was even lighting up a little, as if about to expose a bit of sunshine.

“You walked through a car wash or what?”

“Why- why would I ever- No, it’s been raining for the past few hours, have you not looked outside lately?”

Snotlout flopped into his armchair where a set of headphones and a half-empty bag of chips were resting on each arm. “Nah, I was busy.”

Gently shoving Hookfang away from him so that he could move, Hiccup peaked at the TV screen. “Obviously.” He was looking at the pause menu of a Harry Potter Lego game. Snotlout quickly grabbed the remote and the screen went dark.

“This is Call of Duty. Shut up, Hiccup.”

“Clearly. I could still use a jacket, though.” Oh, he would use this newfound knowledge on a later occasion. When he had the right mind for it and wasn’t still feeling like a wet towel in winter.

With a groan, his friend got up and left to his bedroom. As soon as he was gone, Hookfang jumped onto the chair and stuck his nose into the bag of chips, licking the inside. Hiccup grimaced. Snotlout loved his dog, but he still had trouble making it listen to him. Or follow any rules at all. Lucky for him, Hiccup now knew an expert in all things dog training and– Oh, right. Said expert had also just kissed him, more or less, and then bolted.

She’d said she needed to go home. Maybe she’d meant her parents’ place? Maybe she hadn’t even been talking about anything regarding her relationship with her husband? Was he overthinking this again? Maybe… Maybe she’d forgotten she needed to meet her family, the equivalent of remembering the oven was still on. Or something. He sighed. It was a place to start.

He was hit in the head by a hoodie, followed by a yell from Snotlout. “Catch! Pff, loser.” Hiccup decided not to say anything when his friend reached into the bag of chips and ate a few, before inspecting his hand and scrunching up his face in disgust. “Ew, dog slobber! Hookfang, you shit dog!” The shit dog wasn’t impressed by its owner’s disgust, staying on the armchair without a care in the world. “Now get off my chair!”

When the dog didn’t move, Hiccup sharply whistled and pointed down at his feet with a stern face. “Hookfang, come here!” After a few moments of intense eye contact, Hookfang actually gave in and followed the command, lying down at Hiccup’s feet, much to Snotlout’s dismay.

“Hey! Why are you listening to him?! You betrayed me, you son of a bitch dog!”

“You know, technically, he is the son of a bitch.”

“Shut up, Hiccup. I need that jacket back by tonight.”

Hiccup took in the chipped flame print on the sleeves. The jacket itself was too wide for him, but the sleeves were way too short. He probably looked like an idiot. “What for?”

“I want to wear it to work tomorrow. There’s this girl that likes that stuff.”

“You mean oversized clothes for kids? Didn’t you wear this back in school?”

“It’s retro! Whatever, she digs it. So give it back later, okay? I really need it.”

He shrugged. “Sure. Thanks anyway. I bet you didn’t have any other jacket you could lend me.”

“I’m not gonna give you my fine stuff. You wouldn’t be able to handle the swag, anyway.”

“What swag, Snotlout?” Before his friend could dive into that age-old discussion again, Hiccup held up his hands to stop him. “Save it, I gotta go.”

“Where?”

“Uh, I don’t know. Bye, Snot. Hookfang, listen to Snotlout. Whatever. Thanks again for the help!”

He had grabbed his umbrella and was out the door before the dog could follow him or Snotlout could dig for more details. He didn’t have time for that right now. There was a place he needed to go and there was no time to waste. Realizing he could have asked for a ride, or at least for a short ride to his own car, he slapped his hand against his forehead, breaking into a jog.

Every few minutes, a short drizzle broke out of the clouds, and Hiccup felt taken back in time to a certain rainy November day. Time was of importance just like it had been then, but today, he was determined to catch her in time and not let go. Unless she wanted him to, which he hoped she didn’t, but now that he thought about it, maybe she needed to be away from him and concentrate on the relationship she wanted to keep. Winded, he slowed to a stop and leaned against a traffic light at an intersection. The next bus stop was just down the road.

Checking the schedule on the wall of the bus shelter, he sat down on the narrow bench underneath and waited. With a sigh of relief, he found his city ticket in his wallet. The hoodie and exercise had warmed him up enough and he made sure no water would drip out of his hair and run down his neck.

What if the roles were reversed this time? What if she – and he tried to not get his hopes up – had plunged deeper into this connection between them and now needed to sever all ties to him in order to not lose her mind? That he could relate to.

He got to his feet the moment the bus rounded the corner. If her decision really ended up to break contact, he would still find her and talk to her first. For his own attempt at closure, at least. He’d know he at least tried this time, and didn’t give up at the last minute because the mountains in his way were too steep to climb.

He had to change busses twice until he got out two streets over from her parents’ place. Using the short pause between drizzles, he made it to the driveway, eyes darting around in search for her car. It wasn’t there. His stomach dropped and he felt his heart beat in his throat as he walked to the front door and rang the bell. He would leave no stone unturned; he was all in.

The door opened and Wilma Hofferson curiously raised her eyebrows at the sight of him, disheveled and wet from the rain, wearing an unfitting hoodie.

“Hi,” he nervously greeted. “Is Astrid here, by any chance?”

Wilma shook her head. “Last I saw her she was leaving to meet someone for lunch earlier, I assumed it was you.”

“Oh.”

“Seems like I assumed wrong. Have you tried her phone?”

He could have slapped himself. Her phone. He could just call her, for fuck’s sake! “No- no, you were right, she was with me. But then she left and now I’m trying to find her, but seems like she went home home, so never mind. Sorry for bothering you!”

Mind already recalling her phone number, he left a bewildered Wilma behind and jogged back to the bus stop. He scanned the schedule, but he had no clue where he should go. He didn’t even know her address. Tapping his right foot on the ground in a quick pace, he tried to get his racing thoughts in order.

“Alright, Hiccup,” he mumbled to himself, “what’s the plan here? How can you solve this?”

Call her and ask for her address? No, that was stupid, and also inconvenient. He could just ask her to meet him somewhere.

Call her and talk on the phone? Also no. This was a conversation to have face to face.

Call Heather to ask Dagur for Eret’s number or address? Yeah. Great idea, Hiccup. Call your ex to ask her brother for your almost-lover’s husband’s number. Just call her yourself, you idiot.

But when he pulled out his phone and stared at her contact info, the knot in his stomach grew tighter. It all came down to this phone call. It was easy, actually. He just had to press call, wait for her to pick up, then convince her to meet him for a very important conversation.

He was frozen where he stood, the steady sound of rain on the bus shelter’s roof like white noise in his ears. His heart was pounding, growing bigger and bigger in his chest, pushing against his lungs until he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Ripping his gaze away from his phone, he took a few deep breaths and started walking, absentmindedly opening his umbrella.

His hand was clenched around his phone, the chipped corner of the screen digging the reminder into his skin that he was avoiding his task. It was just a call. A call he needed to make. But when he imagined her answering, his mind went blank. What was he supposed to say? How was he supposed to make sure he didn’t screw this up?

Confront your fear, he heard Dr. Mala’s voice inside his head. Examine it, analyze it, confront it. What’s the worst that could happen?

Well, for starters, he could stutter around for so long that she hung up on him. She could tell him she didn’t want to talk to him. She could ignore his call altogether.

He clenched his jaw in determination. Well, then he would try again! He would find a way to reach her, he would even make an ass of himself by showing up on her parents’ doorstep every day until she either talked to him or told him to fuck off. No more avoiding, no more hiding behind fears of rejection and hurt. That wouldn’t get him anywhere.

The phone was already pressed against his ear and signaling an outgoing call before he could drive himself mad by going over what exactly he would say. Sometimes, he just had to approach the dragon without the axe. Maybe it was friendly.

After twenty eternal seconds, he realized she wasn’t going to pick up. Before his mind could start making up ridiculous reasons for that, he firmly told himself to try again in exactly fifteen minutes. In the meantime, he would just walk around Berk in the rain in his friend’s hideous jacket, definitely failing at not preparing what exactly he would say when he tried her again. But if he already didn’t give a shit about his appearance, there was no way he would avoid the call anymore, either. And hey, if she told him she wouldn’t be friends with him anymore, for whatever reason, then at least he knew where he stood.

That didn’t stop him from drumming his fingers against his leg at every red traffic light, though, or keeping up a quick walking pace because he needed to dump his nervous energy somewhere. By the time his phone signaled him the fifteen minutes were up, he had to orient himself for a minute because he’d walked to a part of town he didn’t immediately recognize. But he decided it wasn’t important where he was right now, and pulled up Astrid’s number again.

His mind conjured up an image of Cam with that Shia LaBeouf video he liked to play in every situation. Just do it! Yeah, Heather’s boyfriend was truly something.

“Just do it,” he mumbled, repeating the sentence seven times in a row before he finally pressed the call button.

It rang.

And rang.

And rang.

Twenty seconds later, it was still ringing, but he didn’t give up this time. Either she picked up or he reached her voicemail.

When the signal suddenly disappeared, his breath caught in his throat. But the voice that appeared was automatic, asking him to leave a message. So he did.

“Hey… It’s me. Hiccup. I- I don’t- I’m just calling because…” He took a deep breath. “I need to talk to you. We need to talk. About… About everything. Like, earlier, when you, you know, left – I probably don’t need to remind you. You said you needed to go home, and I know you meant home to Eret because I was at your parents’ house and you weren’t there, so. Um.” He sighed and ran a hand over his face. He should have just texted her. Then he could have carefully constructed a coherent message instead of this all-over-the-place rambling.

“Like I said, I really have to talk to you. There is something I need to tell you, something I should have told you a long time ago, but I can’t do this over the phone, that would be… Can- can you just call me back? I don’t know where you live and you didn’t say when you would be back or what you were up to, and you’re not answering your phone, obviously, so.” His legs were moving on autopilot, crossing streets, rounding corners. The motion was like water that kept the mill running, namely his sanity. If he stopped walking, he would stop talking.

“You know, maybe I should just get to the point. We- we need to talk about us. I- I don’t know if it’s just me, but I feel like there’s something between us and… And maybe I’m way off here and misinterpreting– No. No, I actually don’t think that it’s just me, because today, you almost kissed me. I almost kissed you. And I need to know why, I need to know where we stand with each other, because… Because…” His lips kept moving, but no sound came out. A truck drove by him and honked. Hiccup winced and a switch went off in his brain.

“I’m in love with you,” he blurted out and his heart stopped for a few beats. “I’ve been in love with you since I met you and- and there’s nothing I can do about it. Believe me, I tried. Remember when I showed up at your wedding and told you we shouldn’t be friends? Yeah, that worked out well.” An awkward laugh escaped him. “I don’t know what you want, either from me or- or from yourself, or your- your husband… But I want to get out of this limbo of trying to forget you and falling back under your spell every time you so much as look at me. It’s like… It’s like you dropped an anchor in me and the tide buried it deeper and deeper in the sand – if that even makes any sense, I just– I can’t go on like this. If there is any chance you feel the same, please call me back. If not, if you’re going to take my advice and resolve things with Eret, then I’m happy for you. But I can’t be your friend anymore. I… I need a clear answer from you.”

Abruptly, his feet grinded to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk. Tires screeched behind him and a biker angrily cursed at him, but he didn’t even register it. “I guess… With you going home so fast, you probably decided to patch things up with your husband, and I guess that’s my answer. Or maybe not, what do I know, my judgement can’t be trusted, I once thought I’d be able to get over you. Anyway, when you hear this– Oh fuck, do you even check your voicemails? Well, if you do, just… Call. Or text. Um… Yeah. Bye.”

He ended the call and sunk to the ground underneath a lamp post, ignoring the unpleasant feeling of rain and dirt dampening his butt. Only when something cold ran down his back, did he notice it was still raining. He’d been so absorbed in his message that he hadn’t even noticed he’d been holding the umbrella askew, and now his left arm was soaked, the hand holding his phone cold and stiff. When he got back to his feet, he accidentally knocked it against the post and the device went flying, landing in a nearby puddle.

“Fuck.” Before the next pedestrian could step on it, he scrambled to get it back, infinitely glad he’d bought the waterproof version. But when he wiped it on Snotlout’s jacket and took a closer look, he groaned. There was a large crack zigzagging over the screen, and on first inspection, it looked like it went deeper than the protection glass. He tried to unlock it, but it didn’t react to his touch anymore. “Fuck!”

Great, now he had to find a repair store that was still open in Berk on a Sunday evening. Hopefully, he would be able to still accept incoming calls… He cursed his clumsiness with vigor. This was so typical. When – if – she tried to reach him now, she wouldn’t be able to. Maybe she’d leave him a voicemail asking him to call her back and they would find themselves stuck in an endless, vicious cycle.

Where the hell had he ended up, anyway? It looked like he was in a suburb, but none of the streets looked familiar to him, and when he pulled out his phone to check his location, he groaned. Right, smartphone not available. But if he could find a bus stop, he could make his way back into the city. Or he could go back to the Hoffersons and ask for a ride. That wouldn’t be awkward at all.

After a while of walking around and finally asking a passing dog-walker for directions, he found a bus stop and quickly scanned the schedule. He’d made it to the end of the route of the only bus line that even came out here. And it being Sunday, he was just lucky that the next bus would be here in no less than 52 minutes, because he had, of course, just missed the previous one. He could walk back, but that would take just as long, and also his feet hurt. These shoes weren’t made for long walks through puddles. At least it had stopped raining.

So he waited. And waited. And played around with his stupid phone for a while, but it just wouldn’t magically work again, no matter how much he begged it to. After 50 minutes of waiting, it suddenly started buzzing – and his heart climbed into his throat when he saw the caller ID. He tapped the screen frantically, but it was to no avail. His last resort was to try the lock button and hope it would accept the call, but instead, it did the exact opposite. Absolutely fucking awesome, now she probably thought he’d declined her call on purpose. And where was the damn bus?!

The calls kept coming in, but there was nothing he could do except stare at his phone in resignation and jiggle his legs nervously because the bus wasn’t coming. Fifteen minutes and four awkward short conversations with passing strangers later, he embraced the fact that no one would lend him their phone for a very quick call, or a text, anything. There was no way he would wait around for another hour.

Grabbing his umbrella and starting the journey in the direction he hoped would lead him back home, he glanced suspiciously at the dark line of clouds on the horizon. The sunset was beautiful, though. If only he could enjoy it.

Soon enough, it was pouring again. And the calls stopped.

[adarafaelbarba]

First Fight (Sonnyverse)

A/N: If you have any suggestions on what other first I should do, please dm me and I’ll make it happen 🥰 Also this covers the blowjob square in @thatesqcrush​‘s kinktober bingo (eventually 😅)

You never really fought, it was more often than not small disagreements that you later resolved. To be honest, neither of you liked to raise your voice at the other, having seen and heard enough of that growing up.

The disagreements were usually over one or the other being late for a scheduled date, or forgetting to call back, usual new relationship squabbles.

Life with Sonny, after you had moved in together had been hectic and eventful to say the least. You both worked long days, him as a mechanic at his uncle’s auto shop, where he would more often than not work double shifts, and you, working in Manhattan as a magazine editor. You both tried to have a somewhat flexible routine at home, whoever made dinner that day wouldn’t have to do the dishes but would have to make the breakfast and lunch for both for the next day, and the one doing the dishes would have to also do some laundry. It was switched up of course, and you didn’t do laundry every single day, it was mostly once or twice a week depending on how much laundry there was.

Coming home from a particularly hard day at work you poured yourself a glass of wine and started on dinner, hoping to have it done by the time Sonny got home. He had texted you saying he would be on his way in at least 20 minutes.

It was one of those rare days when you could have some time together just the two of you before going to bed, so you found it odd when Sonny went straight to the bathroom to shower. Deciding to let him finish you did the finishing touch on the dinner and plated it, waiting for him to join you.

Dinner was quiet, only light conversation between the two. You knew something was up, but it wasn’t the best tactic to press him about it.

He let out a small grunt of appreciation upon finishing the food before getting up and putting his utilities in the sink. Leaning over, he pressed a small kiss to your head before going straight to bed, leaving you there none the wiser.

Finishing another glass of wine quickly you went to get ready for bed. If he was going to just leave it like that, so would you. Sure he had a bad day, he was allowed to have that, but seeing as your day was pretty bad too, it really didn’t help.

You had just settled down in bed when you felt Sonny’s arms trying to pull you closer. So he’s too tired to do what he promised, but not too tired to get handsy? you found yourself thinking as you pulled away from him. He was persistent however and tried again to pull you close, so instead of falling to the floor like you would have if you slid away from him again, you got out of bed.

«Doll? What’s wrong?» he looked up at you as you stood there. «You promised you’d do the dishes and laundry when you got home today Sonny, like it says on the planner», you stated, crossing your arms over your chest. «Look, I’m so tired—», he starter, «And I am too, but you promised Sonny.» You were glaring at him at this point, feeling all the anger from the day seeping out. «It was such a stressful day today at work, I’ll do it tomorrow doll, now please come back to bed.» he tried his best to coax you back to bed with his smooth voice, but you stood put. «Do you think I’ve had it any easier? Do you think my day has been that much better? I came home from work exhausted and still did my part of the deal», you spat. «Come on, doll, I didn’t mean it like that!» He was sitting upright now, looking at you. «I’m gonna go sleep on the couch. Good night Dominick», you said, and with that you stormed out of the room, slamming the door in the process.

…

The next morning you had left by the time he woke up. No goodbye or see you later. Not a single word. You were still too annoyed at him. Maybe not as mad as the night before, but still, not ready to forget.

For the second day in a row it proved to be a difficult day at work, nothing seemed to go right. Copier breaking down, angry coworkers yelling, phones going off every few seconds. You could only let out a sigh of relief when you finally got to leave.

Rushing home you poured yourself another glass of wine before throwing a round of clothes in the washing machine. You needed clothes, soon. After that you put everything in the dishwasher and then started on dinner.

You had just started on dinner when you heard Sonny enter the apartment. His head was hanging as he walked in pressing a kiss to the back of your head before grabbing the apron you had given him when you moved in together. «Oh so now he wants to help», you muttered. «I’m sorry doll.» he was barely audible. «Save it, I don’t need help», you said, not even looking at him.

There was a long silence over the room before Sonny slowly took the apron off, leaving the room. You hated being mad at him, but you were tired and mad from the day, and the fact that you had been fighting the night before, and slept on the couch, it didn’t help your mood towards him.

Sonny seemed to thread carefully around you for a while after that, not sure how to act or what to say. You hated the silence and wished he would say something, anything.

After another hour of silence, where you sat on each end of the couch, reading, Sonny broke the silence. But instead of speaking, it was the faint sound of him trying not to cry. That sure caught your attention. Placing your book down on the coffee table you leant over to him, grabbing his hand in yours. «I’m s—sorry doll. I should’ve done what you asked yesterday», he said through sniffles.

Seeing him so broken up cracked at your heart as you found yourself leaping into his arms, hugging him. «Shhh. Baby, it’s okay, I shouldn’t have escalated it», you murmured, caressing his back with one hand while the other raked through his hair.

«I tried to hurry home today so I could do everything before you came home, but then I got held back.» He had wanted to make it right. «And then I saw the wine, and you’d done the dishes. I wanted to do something to help, but you didn’t want help so I figured I’d go do the laundry but you’d done that too. I felt so useless, I figured you would soon realize that you didn’t need me, and that you would leave me.» The word vomit took you by surprise and you pulled away slightly to look at him.

«Sonny», you murmured, lifting his head so he could look at you. «One little fight isn’t gonna break us up. Hey look at me. if last night taught us anything, it’s that we should be better at communicating, instead of blowing up we should talk to each other. Yes I was hurt last night with how distant you were towards me, especially cause I kinda needed you. But we’re both allowed to have bad days without the other making it worse. I should have seen that you didn’t have a good day instead of shouting at you. I’m sorry babe», you confessed, caressing his cheeks.

«But I—», he started only to be shut up by you kissing him. It didn’t take him long to kiss you back, his hands on your waist as he pulled your top over your head. A moan escaped your lips as he found the weak spot on your neck. «Hmm», you murmured, pulling at his t-shirt.

Sinking to the floor in front of him you started tugging on his pants. «Doll I—you don’t have to.» smiling at him you successfully managed to pull his pants and boxers down. «How many blowjobs does it take before you stop telling me that babe?» Wrapping your hand around his member you started slowly tugging up and down, dragging moans out from your boyfriend.

«Feels good doesn’t it babe?» you asked, licking a broad stripe up the underside of his shaft. «Mhm.» he moaned, «Feels amazing doll.» The sounds coming from him only made you wetter as you took him in your mouth. One had rubbing what you couldn’t fit while the other played with his balls.

You knew he wouldn’t last too long but you were adamant on dragging it out as long as you could. «D-doll, shit, that fe-feels good», he moaned, restraining himself from bucking his hips up. Looking at him through your lashes you popped him out of your mouth with a loud pop, fisting his member while pressing soft kisses to it. «Oh shiiiiiit», he moaned, throwing his head back in pleasure. «Yeah? Like that?» you asked biting down on his hip bone. «Yes, please, more. Let me cum», he cried out.

Sitting up on your knees, you grabbed his face with one hand, pulling him towards you, lips locking in a passionate kiss as you dragged him closer to release. He let out moans into the kiss at the feeling, his hand drifting down towards your bra to unclasp it. You knew he was close by how he was clenching. «Where do you want to finish hmm? On my chest? In my mouth?» your voice was teasing, and it drove him mad. «Mouth, please doll», he pleaded, letting out a sigh of relief when you wrapped your lips around his member again.

You took him in as much as you could fit, your cheeks hollowing as you gagged on him. That was all it took as he cried out in ecstasy, releasing hot ropes into your mouth.

Pulling off him you showed off that you had swallowed before sitting back and wiping your chin. «Shit, doll, that was amazing!» he said in a breathless tone, trying his best to regain himself. «Yeah? Think you can recover from that?» you teased, squealing when he pulled you closer. «Give me a minute or two and I’ll fuck you into the next year.» He growled, attacking your neck with kisses and bites. «Now that’s something I’m not gonna argue about!» you giggled, kissing him passionately.

taglist: @thatesqcrush​ @sweetcannolicarisi​ @inmylifeilovedthemall​ @detective-giggles​ @itsjustmyfantasyroom​ @detective-sonshine​ @detectivesmuttycarisijr​ @rafaheadcanons​ @rafivadafreddy​ @katierpblogg​ @boop-le-snoot​ @cycat4077​ @hannigrams-dedicated-detectives​ @prurientpuddlejumper​ @meri-dawn​

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

I would like to call shenanigans about the complaints of Phineas being "out-of-character" in the specials and movies. He's a kid! And human! It makes his character more interesting and three-dimensional! He's allowed to be sad or mad when he's out of his comfort zone! I mean, everyone else is allowed to have a wide range of emotions, and it makes it all the more satisfying when he manages to pull through and go back to being his usual positive self

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

I’m about to get real salty for a second (not at the show tho I’m getting salty at people who get salty at the show) so here’s a cut 

Nothing annoys me more than people who think Phineas had no reason to get upset in at2d. Literally one of the last things 2D Doof said to him before Perry revealed that he was a secret agent was, and I quote, “You really think that he’s your pet, don’t you? WRONG! He’s using you! He’s just your cover!” Of course he was going to internalize that!

And that’s not just speculation, either. As soon as they get a moment to talk without the constant fear of, you know, getting arrested by an evil dictator’s robots, Phineas straight up asks him, “Was that evil guy right? Were we just a cover for you? Were you ever really our pet, or part of our family?” AND THEN HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO BREAK MY HEART BY FOLLOWING THAT UP WITH “Well, apparently not, because you didn’t trust us enough to tell us!” Like? 2D Doof’s words overshadowed the entire reveal. Of course that was going to impact how Phineas reacted to it, and it blows my mind that people think he should have just accepted it with a smile like nothing happened. 

And that’s not even getting into the fact that Perry got them into that mess in the first place. I don’t even think I can say it better than Phineas so I’m gonna use another quote from the movie because I am apparently writing an actual angry essay right now with evidence from the text movie lmao. When they’re still at DEI and Heinz clarifies that he’s an evil scientist, Phineas turns on Perry and says, “You just sat there and let us help an evil scientist open an evil portal into an evil dimension, and you did nothing to stop us?” (With, of course, the caveat that yes, Perry peed on the couch, but “That wasn’t enough!”)

~~ taking a brief break from angry ranting in the middle of the night to add that I definitely don’t think Perry was in the wrong here. I’ve just spent a lot of time thinking about at2d because a) I’ve seen it so many times and practically have it memorized (thus why I threw in all these quotes off the top of my head lol) and b) I’m writing a fic where Perry can talk (it’s Bitch Shut The Fuck Up on Wattpad and AO3 if anyone’s in the mood for sassy, swearing Perry) and I’m going to start incorporating episodes once summer starts in the fic so I lowkey spent most of my nights in bed thinking about what Perry’s going to say and how it would change things if he could explain himself and would he even try to or would he let the kids think he betrayed them if he thought it would keep them safe so anyways I have a lot of feelings but tl:dr Phineas has ever reason to be upset and I don’t blame him and neither should you ~~

And then, of course, there’s the Marvel crossover and, like, he was right? He was 100% right? Candace was too star struck to help, and it was too important for them to take any risks. And you make a really good point with your comment about being out of his comfort zone. I don’t think there’s ever a time that Phineas is more out of his league than in the Marvel crossover. He really is just a kid, and he only got roped into this because he just happened to put his space station in the wrong place at the wrong time and the Avengers made the wrong assumptions. The fate of the entire world depended on them, and when Candace repeatedly messed things up, Phineas had every right to be upset -- and the fact that he was undoubtedly really stressed out because, again, the fate of the entire world, only gives him more of a reason to snap. It’s not out of character; his character had just never dealt with anything like that before.

I mean, of course, there’s Phineas and Ferb Save Summer, which I think was a more mild example of Phineas getting angry, but it’s similar enough to the Marvel crossover that I feel like I need to bring it up, if only to point out the differences. In the Marvel crossover, the world was actively being threatened by a group of actual supervillains. In PnF Save Summer, technically LOVEMUFFIN is also threatening the safety of the world by trying to plunge it into an eternal ice age, but Phineas doesn’t know that which is half the fun of the episode. Like, they don’t know why they can’t move the planet back into place, just like LOVEMUFFIN doesn’t know why they can’t move it further away.

That’s not really the point here, though; that’s just me having unnecessary opinions on everything. I don’t really view this one as Phineas snapping, but Buford does make that joke about how it must be a special episode because Phineas is yelling at his sister again so I’m guessing there are probably people who think it’s ooc which means naturally I gotta bring it up (and, of course, I wanted to reference the meta joke because I love it). 

Phineas built those thrusters. He knows how they work better than probably anyone but Ferb. When Candace says she’s going to overwork them, of course Phineas is going to tell her not to, and he’s going to be urgent about it, but he doesn’t yell. And when Candace accidentally ruins the thrusters, Phineas doesn’t yell at her then, either; he just tells her how to fix it (and, when she’s too scared to go into the attic, his hologram is there to cheer her on). It’s just? So? Wholesome? And “wholesome” is basically Phineas’s entire character, so that fits really well.

And the only other one I can think of off the top of my head is Summer Belongs To You (and it’s entirely possible he’s supposedly “out of character’ in other specials too but it’s 11:20 at night and my brain is fried lmao). “Get on the trike!” is literally one the most iconic lines in the show. Even Dan said it’s one of his favorites because it wasn’t necessarily a funny line, it was funny because it was Phineas saying it, and the fact that so many people remembered it was that it seemed so out-of-place coming from Phineas, which meant they had developed the character well (and if anyone happens to have the video -- I think it might have been an old tiktok but there have been way too many for me to look through -- hmu bc it was such a pure moment). But tbh even though the yelling was “out of character” in the sense that it made for a good joke, I don’t think his actions were out of character at all? Phineas sets crazy goals all the time, and he always achieves them. They’d put so much work into it so far, and he wasn’t going to let it go to waste when the end game was right there. He was exhausted, presumably both physically and mentally (I mean, we didn’t see him sleep at all, you know?) and he wanted to get home and he wanted to accomplish his goal and he wanted to do it as a family (because 🎵 friends are also family 🎵) and he wasn’t going to let Candace ruin that, which I personally think is adorable because technically Candace was never even part of the bet and she didn’t have to make it home with them for them to win so Phineas easily could have ditched her and made her find her own way home but he wanted her to see it through with them and I just have a lot of feelings��😭

OKAY last paragraph because I know no one really cares and it’s getting late and I have an 8:30 class tomorrow and should probably be in bed by now. I also like the point you made about how that makes it more satisfying when he  manages to pull through and go back to being his usual positive self. I don’t know if anyone considers it out of character given that it’s really supposed to be a powerful moment purely because it’s so out of the ordinary (although I guess I could say the same for all these scenes) but god, when Phineas breaks down on the island in Summer Belongs To You, it’s such a testament to his character because he had managed to push through so much because he was determined to get home but it also proves that he does have a breaking point. I mean, we see it in all the other scenes, too, but those are directed at people. This is purely situational, which I think hits harder and it’s why that was the first one I thought of when you mentioned pushing through. All these scenes are a testament to his character, really, and basically the moral of the story is that I completely agree with you, Phineas deserves to have his character explored as much as Candace and Heinz have theirs explored, and that I clearly have way too many opinions and should really learn to tone it down fjksdhfjka

[crazyyanderefangirlfan]

The Rabbit of Night Raven: Chapter 1: Demons in high places. Pt 1

A collection of drabbles of Valerie and boys, the story takes place after the Diasomnia arc.

"Read pages 46-55 for tomorrow's quiz, otherwise expect immediate failure and remedial classes. You are dismissed" "Meow." Stated a familiar elderly teacher and his cat. One-by-one students were standing from their seats and filed out of the door.

"Gyaah! Finally, it's over. But studying all that sounds so boring." Cried a familiar black and blue trash cat as he slumped over the desk. He felt himself getting picked up by a soft pair of hands whose fingers began scratching under his chin.

"Aww. Don't be like Grim. If you want to be the greatest wizard, then you have to attend class." He felt the fingers gently bopping his nose before swatting them away. Valerie giggled at the sight of Grim feebly swatting away her fingers. She opted to cradle him to her bosom.

"Don't treat me like a pet henchwoman!" He cried but purred at the sensation of her fingers gently scratching his ears. The girl internally squealed at his cute expression.

"Are you done babying him now? Come on." A familiar voice called out to the girl and turned to the source, her first and best friends in Night Raven, Ace, and Deuce. The two boys were glowering at the monster who was engulfed by the girl's bust, but luckily for them, the girl and her monster did not notice.

"Yes, I am." She re-adjusted her bag and walked with them outside the classroom.

"So princess, we're heading to clubs; don't miss us too much." Ace teased and playfully pinched her cheeks. Valerie grimaced at the gesture and rubbed her cheek once he was done.

"I won't, besides at least I can take a break from your lack of brain cells." She smirked at their indignant expressions.

"Hilarious princess. But you still have to deal with Grim." It was Ace's turn to smirk but directed it to the vexed monster in her arms.

"What's that supposed to mean!? I am the great Grim, don't you dare say I'm unintelligent!" He was ready to blow a stream of fire towards Ace if it weren't for Valarie scratching his ears to calm him down.

"Grim, if you start a fight, I'll limit your cans of tuna for 2 months" She smiled, but the cat monster saw through the girl's mask, a sense of dread blowing a cold chill down his spine. Defeated, he let out a whimpering "Sorry."

"Great, now that's outta out of the way, we can text you when we're done." The atmosphere lightened up as Deuce's voice, with the girl returning the comment with a smile, "I have a new movie we could watch, maybe later tonight?" Deuce finished up, walking up to the girl, he places a palm on her shoulder.

"Jack, Epel, and Sebek can't come. They said they got caught up with some dorm stuff, so it's just us."

"Tonight it is." She remarked, giving the two a peck on their cheeks as she playfully walked out, causing the onlookers to eye the now blushing boys with an envious eye.

____________________________

The brunette happily hummed as she walked out of the school, and as she made her journey to Ramshackle, her thoughts drifted on how everything was now.

It's been months since her arrival in Twisted Wonderland, and honestly, she loved every second here. Don't get her wrong she missed her family and friends back home and wishes to go back. But she secretly desired for the crow to give up on his research if he did any that is, she loved it here too much, and it was beginning to feel like home. Surely her loved ones can live without her...

Valerie shook her head at the ridiculous thought. What was she thinking? Of course, they would miss her, she has to stop those ludicrous thoughts, she has to go home someday. 

"Valerie, we're here." Grim's voiced snapped her out of her head. Apparently, she was so focused on her thoughts, she nearly crashed into the gate.

"O-oh. Thank you, Grim. I didn't even realize we're here."

"Tch, honestly henchwoman, what will you do without me?" 

She laughed heartedly at his comment, but before she could step on the porch. She overheard a crashing sound. Both students froze. Valerie could feel Grim shaking in her arms from how loud it was.

"W-what was that!? I-I mean, I'm not scared, but where did it come from?" the poor monster tried to brush off his fear, but it was apparent on how violently she shook in her arms.

"It came from the back, let's go and check." He blanched at her words and started to squirm when he felt her move.

"Are you crazy!? I mean, I won't have a problem fighting it, cause no one is a match for the great Grim. But you? You have no magic!"

"I know hand-to-hand combat."

"Even so, you'll be obliterated!"

"Oh, look, we're here." Grim had to do a double-take on her words. Sure enough, they were in the back of the woods, and lo and behold, a large crater stood amidst of it.

"You have no self-preservation." She didn't respond. Instead, she peeked inside the crater. But the sight left both the girl and monster were dumbfounded on what they've discovered.

It was a young man, he appeared to be in his early 20's. His midnight blue hair was in disarray and matted with dirt, his bronze skin was littered with various scars and wounds. An ugly gash was near his forehead and bleeding profusely. His clothes consisted of a white dress shirt, a red vest coat, and khaki pants were torn and stained with blood. He was also missing his shoes.

"Oh my gosh!" The girl dropped the monster in her arms and rushed inside the crater and quickly hauled the young man onto her back, indifferent to the blood staining her clothes. 

"Grim! Go back to the house and tell the ghosts to prepare a medical kit, and hurry!"

"Are you seriously going to take him back with us!? What if he's doing some shady business? Or some kind of criminal?"

"Then I'll have the great Grim to protect me. Besides, helping others is the duty of a human being, regardless of their background." Grim sighed but did what she told him. Not before muttering 'how a reckless human she was' under his breath.

Valerie huffed as she tried to balance both her weight and the stranger's as she tried to get out, which proved to be difficult due to how deep the crater was, which caused her to slip from time to time. But thankfully, she managed to climb up and run full speed back to Ramshackle.

  ____________________________

The door was opened once she got there, and the short ghost came to helped her carry the man to the couch. The ghosts and Grim were waiting for them in the lounge, the medical kit was on the table.

"Jeez, who did he pissed off to get such a beating?" The skinny ghost commented as they watched the two placed the man on the couch.

"Thanks for the help, Bennett." The ghost merely tipped his hat and smiled.

"No problem, kiddo."

"Gerald, please go to my closet and get some clothes. An oversized shirt and a pair of sweatpants will do." The skinny ghost saluted and went upstairs.

"Wilbur, please fetch me a bowl of water, soap, and a towel from the kitchen." The stout ghost nodded and did what he was told. Valerie painstakingly proceeded to remove his clothes. She winced on the number of wounds inflicted on his body. What did he do to deserve such a severe punishment? 

Her heart stopped when she caught the sight of his right leg. It was gruesome, it was a third-degree burn, the skin was in a ghastly shade of black, the skin was so dry and leathery that flakes were falling off. She nearly cried at the sight of it, but she pulled herself together. Now is not the time.

Wilbur was first to come back with the things she needed. He winced at the sight of his leg. She sent him a grateful smile and began her procedure. She gently washed his body, thoroughly removing the dirt from his body, before she patted him dry. She carefully treated his wounds and wrapping them tightly with the gauze.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So... Are you planning to tell the headmaster about your discovery?" Bennett inquired as he watched the girl sipped her tea.

The residents of Ramshackle were situated in the kitchen, discussing what to do about Valerie's unconscious guest, and whether or not he can be trusted. Valerie, currently sitting on the counter with a mug of tea in her hand and Grim on her lap, petting his fiery ears. 

"Of course I am, and knowing that crow. He'll probably milk money from him as a reward because one of his students saved his life. Because he's so gracious." She stated as she sipped more of her tea. The sarcasm on her voice was heavy when she spoke the last sentence.

"That guy will gladly take money for himself, and say it's for the school," Grim chimed in.

"But still. I'm bothered about not knowing who he is. He could be a dangerous criminal for all we know." Gerald voiced his thoughts.

"That's what I told her! But no! She refuses to listen to the Great Grim and decides to be a suicidal maniac." The monster exclaims while waving his arms for emphasis. She flicked his forehead. 

"Grim, we can't just leave him there. We live near a forest remember? Who knows what monsters are out there." The stern look she gave made him freeze. Before anyone could utter another word, an unfamiliar voice made Valerie dropped the mug from her hands and spilled the boiling liquid on the floor. Everyone's heads snapped towards the lounge.

"THE FUCKING HELL!? WHERE THE FUCK AM I!?" The sounds of crashing furniture, broken glass, and vulgar words filled the atmosphere. Scooping Grim on her arms, they all swiftly made their way to the lounge, to find their guest on the floor.

It looked like a hurricane pass through. Furniture was overturned, pieces of glass were littered around, and the man was on the floor flailing around like a fish out of water. The blanket that Wilbur provided for him was now acting as a straitjacket.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! You've got to be bullshitting me!" He let out another flurry profanities, before noticing his bewildered audience.

"Oi Sugar tits, get me out of this."

They were truly surprised by the man, but for different reasons.  Grim was amazed by how fast he recovered and how he managed to get into that position. The ghosts and Valerie were... Appalled by his choice of words.

"Young man, you should not talk to a lady like that!" But he merely rolled his eyes, annoyed at the ghost's nagging.

"Whatever the fuck grandpa. So anyway, get me out of here." Valerie quickly snapped out of her stupor and gently placing Grim down before helping him. Carefully, she placed him back to the couch before untangling the blanket from his frame. 

"Thanks for the help, Sugar tits." Upon closer inspection, she finally noticed the details on his face but was too busy saving his life. He had lovely almond-shaped eyes with long lashes, his left eye was taffy pink, while his right was cornflower blue. His surfer hairstyle complimented his diamond-shaped face. From his sitting position, she can tell he could possibly be Azul's height. He had pointed ears, which made her briefly wonder if he was a fae like Malleus and Lillia. 

The man stretched his arms but winced. He finally took a good look at himself and let out a low whistle.

"Damn, the fucker did a number on me. But you did a pretty good job in healing me up Sugar tits, even if you did a fucking sloppy job at it." He remarked, flexing his fingers.

 Valerie frowned, what was with this guy? He was starting to remind her of one the pervs in and out of school. She counted in her head to calm herself, before asking the question that was in everyone's mind.

"Excuse me, sir, what's your name?"

He looked at her in disdain, as if she made a joke that so awful that she needed to shut up. She wondered if she insulted his pride, but, oddly he chuckled and slung his arm around her shoulder.

"Good joke Sugar tits. Pretending to know who I am hilarious." He gave another mirthful chuckle and brought his hands up to her head to play with her bow. But, she slapped them away before they could even reach. He sat there stunned, eyes wide and mouth gaping as if no one has done that to him before. 

Valerie's lips were pressed into a thin line, her expression was calm. But everyone in the room, including the heterochromatic male, could feel a shift in the air. The aura surrounding the girl was foreboding, and her eyes were locked on him, like a predator watching its prey to make a mistake and go for the kill. Finally, she spoke.

"No. I do not know who you are."

The silence was thick as fog, the noises within the house seemed more prominent as the rest of the residents stared at two, giving uneasy glances to one another. Grim, who has been with her since the beginning, has known what her anger is like. He shivered at the thought of her hellish gaze and silently prayed to the Great Seven to let this man survive.

Her opal-Esque eyes held burning fire as she stared down the man. Her body tensed up, legs twitching erratically, waiting for him to make any reason for her to kick him in the gut.

The man studied her face to know if she's joking or not. Once he confirmed she genuinely doesn't who he is, his curled up in amusement.

"The name's Amane Mania." She sighed, at least one problem is out of the way...

"So I'm guessing you want your reward huh? So what do you want? Money or a fu-"

Amane didn't get to finish and suddenly collapsed on her. Stunned, she peered behind him to see Bennett with a cane on hand and a mildly irritated look on his face.

____________________________

"I could have done it myself," Valerie grunted as she carried the unconscious man again, but this time to one unoccupied but clean rooms of Ramshackle.

"I know you could, but I couldn't stand his attitude anymore," Bennet grumbled.

"Yo, Val we're h-WHO THE FUCK IS THAT!?." Ace exclaimed. She turned to find her friends gaping at her in shock, more specifically at Amane.

"Guys! Don't be so loud, I don't want to wake him up." 

"H-Hang on I'll help you." Deuce scrambled to get to the stairs with Ace following behind, once he got there. He grabbed his legs and began to make their way through the hall.

They came across one the doors and she gestured Ace to opened it. Once they were inside, they dropped him on the bed and Valerie covered him with a blanket. Quietly as they could, they walked out of the room and made their way to the now cleaned lounge.

"Okay who the fuck was that? and why does he look like he went through a war?" Ace questioned.

"Grim and I found him in the back of the woods. He was laying on a giant crater and I brought him to get fixed up. Then he woke up and started to call me Sugar tits-"

"He called you what!?

 "And Bennett him in the head. You guys know the rest."

Deuce took a deep breath and tried to organize his thoughts, before speaking.

"Valerie. You mean to tell us you brought a stranger to your home, who doesn't seem to have any respect towards females and healed him?"

"Yeah, that's it." He sighed.

"Valerie, as much as I admire your selfless nature, but you should be careful with strangers. Especially when you get people like that and don't know their intentions."

"Come on guys. You witness me took down people five-times my height. I can take care of myself."

"What he means Princess, we don't know what kind of magic he does or what he's capable of using." Ace injected.

"Well in that case. I'll just use a potion on him to make him feel weak. Professor Crewel already taught us that so I know I can make use of it."

The boys could only glance at each other in worry.

Amane felt a throbbing pain when he woke up.

Grunting, he sat up and held his head. He hissed when he grasped the side where the was gauze wrapped. 

"What the fuck was that?" He mumbled, before taking note of his surroundings. 

He was in a bedroom and spotted a first aid kit near his bed. He gazed down at his body, he was sporting a black shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants.

He tried to get out of bed but hissed when tried to move his legs. The pain was agonizing. He pulled up the right part of the pants and perceived how heavily it was wrapped.

He clicked his tongue. The bastard really went all out, and he was going to bring the pain back tenfold.

The sound of the door brought him out of musing. The girl was back with a tray of food, two boys one had ginger hair and a heart mark while the other had blue and a spade mark, and a weird cat monster of her shoulder. There was clear mistrust on their eyes when they stared at him.

"Glad to see you awake." she offered him a smile and placed the tray on his bedside. He scanned its contents. An egg and chicken fried rice. He knitted his brows and faced her.

"You ain't gonna poison me, are ya?"

"If I wanted you dead, I would have just left you in that crater." She asserted. She sat down on a chair next to him with boys leaning against it, and the monster stretched itself on the bed.

"Besides." The monster spoke, a male by the tone if it's voice. "She's too much a goody-two-shoes to let anyone die. Unless they pissed her off too much." Amane raised a brow on the last part but said nothing.

He took the bowl and brought the spoon to his mouth. He hummed it was pretty good. He began to devour the whole thing, finally realizing how hungry he was. He placed the bowl back once he was finished.

"You're a pretty good cook, Sugar tits." He licked lips in satisfaction. The girl, surprised by how fast he finished the food, narrowed her eyes. The boys scowled at him.

"Could you just ask me my name, instead of calling me that?" The exasperation in her voice was transparent. He raised a brow, but his lips curled in a teasing grin.

"Why should I? When that name fits you so well." Eyeing at her ample bosom. He snickered at how red her face is. She was so fun to tease and seeing the looks on those guys was priceless.

"Ow! The fuck!?" Pain shot through his body, clenching his teeth, he found her adding pressure on his wounded leg. All with an innocent smile on her face.

"Oi Sugar tits quit that!" He let out another string of curse words when she pressed harder.

"You know what she wants." The ginger boy's deadpan voice rang out. Another yelp of pain came out when he felt she dug her nails on his leg.

"Okay! Okay! What's your name!? Fuck." He sighed in relief when she stopped but glared at the still smiling girl.

"Ugh. What's you're name?"

"I'm Ace." The ginger started.

"Deuce." The navy waved.

"It's Valerie, and this little guy is Grim."

"That's the Great Grim, Henchwoman!" She playfully stuck her tongue out, while Grim growled. Valerie returned her attention back to him.

"So. How are you feeling?"

"Besides having a helluva headache, and nearly losing my leg. I'm good."

"That's great. Cause you need your all your sanity on what comes next." This confused him greatly. He was about to ask what she meant when the door slammed open.

 There stood a man in rather extravagant clothing and a crow mask. As soon as his eyes landed on Amane, he visibly froze. Mouth hanging wide.

"No.." He whispered

"Long time no see Crow shit."

"Sir, are you okay? What wrong?" Deuce glanced at Amane who looked like he wanted to laugh. He ignored his students.

"You look tacky as usual." He flinched at his words.

"I see you’re as rude as ever."

"As if I care. You old crow." 

"The nerve! What would you're parents say about your attitude?'

"Probably nothing."

"Such insole-"

A loud cough broke their dispute, and turn their attention to the sole girl in the room.

"Headmaster, don't you think instead of lecturing him about how to respect authority. Shouldn't you be focused on his well-being?" She gave him a pointed look, the man coughed.

"A-ahh. Yes, of course." He cleared his throat.

"I see Ms. Kemonohito has taken good care of you. It warms my heart to know my students are capable of such compassion and selflessness. Ah-huh huh!."

Aman arched a brow while the other four just sighed, already too used at this display. Crowley quickly regained his composure.

"So please tell me, how he ended up like this?"

She told him everything from the beginning. Crowley nodded once in a while. After she finished, he had a contemplative look on his face, or at least she assumed it was one with the mask and all.

"Hmm, how strange." He turned his attention to students.

"All of you come with me for a moment." Crowley quickly stood up and made his way to the door, gesturing his students to follow him. They all stood up, silently following him.

"What was that about? You know him or soemthing." Grim questioned.

"Do any of you know who he is, or at least his family." He finally spoke, the serious tone in his voice startled them momentarily but shook their heads. Crowley frowned.

"Oh dear, this quite a predicament. To think he’ll be back here in school." He muttered under his breath.

"Just what so great about his family?" Ace prodded.

"The Mania family is an old crime organization who ruled Twisted Wonderland before Crewel was born. Though they are disbanded and faded in history, their influence is strong. They have many businesses, and still manage to have loyal followers who will gladly do anything for them, and he was a former student here as well."

This information floored them. To think this guy was part of a mafia group and to top it all that. Now Valerie understood why he looked surprised when she said she didn't know him. She jumped when Crowley called her.

"Ms. Kemonohito, I thank you for saving his life. I'm so proud of having such a benevolent and caring student." He cried once more earning annoyed looks from all four of them.

"Seriously. How old is this guy?" Ace grumbled. 

"However, due to his critical condition, and lack of phone. He will remain in Night Raven until he fully recovers." He gazed at Valerie, she frowned. She knew what comes next.

"Which is why you, Ms. Kemonohito will let him lodge here until he recovers. I cannot ask the dorm leaders due to their duties, and the infirmary is full due to the last Magift practice."

"I have no choice do I."

"Unless you want me to cut off the dorm's budget, then no." She sighed.

"Fine, I'll do it." He beamed.

"Wonderful! I shall inform him right away." He went back inside. Grim glared at his back.

"Grrrr. This again, whenever something happens we always get the short end of the stick! Why can't he be useful for once in his life!"

"The day he's reliable is the day I go back home."

Which she secretly hoped that it never happened. They returned to the room, Crowley was already finished explaining to Amane about the situation, who couldn't decide whether to be annoyed or amused.

"I can assure that Ms. Kemonohito is a gracious host such as myself, will surely make feel right at home!"

"Oh, I'm sure she'll be a great host. Huh, Valerie." The way he said her name, made her instantly wary of him. Even more when he turned to her.

His smile was borderline sadistic, and his eyes held a mischievous glint in them. Valerie felt a shiver up her spine, oh Great Seven, please save her soul. She can already tell that this guy won't make it easy for her. Ace and Deuce scowled at him and formed a wall between them.

"Splendid. I'll be off then." With a flourish, he vanished.

_____________________________________

"Still a weirdo I see." Amane stared at the spot where Crowley vanished.

"Yeah, you'll get used to it," Deuce assured, scratching the back of his head. He turned to Valerie.

"So. Still up for that movie?" She perked up at his words, but before she could say anything, Amane beat her to it.

"Umm. Hello~ Are trying to exclude me? How standoffish of you Ms. Kemonohito. What would that crow say once he learned that you are being unkind?"

He had raised a single brow and propped his face to his hands, all with a shit-eating grin on his face. Ace fumed.

"Hey! You don't own this house asshole! She can do what she pleases!"

Amane turned to him, sporting a bored look on his face as he studied him. Seconds after, he had a lecherous smirk on his face.

"Why hello~ I didn't get a good look at you earlier, but now I do, I gotta say you're pretty hot. Say, after I recover, why don't we booked a love hotel hot stuff~" He purred as he licked lips and eyed at Ace's bottom with such fiery hot intensity.

Ace flinched at his words and shivered when he stared at him with such hunger. Amane then turned his attention to Deuce, who also trembled at his wanton gaze.

"You're not so bad too handsome. Maybe we should do a three-"

Valerie coughed loudly to get everyone's attention.

"Uhh...Why don't we get set up the movie here, Ace go and help Deuce get the projector, while I get some snacks. Grim, you stay here."

The boys briskly walked out before sprinting away from the room. Valerie trailed after them, ignoring Grim's protests. She found them hastily getting the stuff, both having shaken expressions.

"What the actual fuck was?" Ace was carrying an extension wire and mini wireless speakers.

"How...How could someone be so...Shamless." In Deuce's arms was the laptop.

After getting everything they needed. Wordlessly, they made their way upstairs and found Grim struggling to get out of Amane's grip, who was squishing his pink paws.

"Aww, aren't you a cute little piece of shit~"

"Fgua! Put me down ya weirdo!"

"Ahh. So mean."

Ace snickered at the sight, he would have laughed if Deuce didn't nudge his ribs. After setting up everything, Deuce showed them the movie. It was a comedy, Cater suggested it to him. Then he pressed play.

It wasn't even twenty minutes, and Amane began to make licentious and snarky comments about the characters, and the general plot of the movie. He called them out from their costumes to their acting. The boys covered Valerie and Grim's ears whenever he made a perverted comment.

"Dayum~ Look size of that guy. Bet he's packing something bigger." 

"Seriously? How the fuck people find that funny? Even burning trash has better humor."

"How much longer is this movie. It's fucking boring!"

As much as boys wanted to beat the shit of him, they can't due Valerie holding a vice grip on their arms, a silent plead to not to do anything stupid, lest they get in trouble. They grudgingly oblige but cast resentful glances at him. After the movie, the boys were very hesitant to leave her but assured them she'll be fine.

"I dealt with overblots. I can handle a rich boy."

That didn't reassure them but eventually left because she reminded them of  Riddle's curfew. After waving goodbye, she was headed to her room, when...

"Oi Sugar tits! Bring me another pillow!"

_____________________________________

(A/N: I decided to make this a two part chapter)

[jacksjoke]

Title: do you know?

Pairing: Zhou Shu Yi/Gao Shi De

Summary: Zhou Shu Yi fights back. (Episode 2 fill-in, nothing explicit.)

Ao3 link

    For the briefest moment, Shu Yi’s mind takes him back to 20.

    He’s not yet finished school and in the midst of that final semester’s end, swimming races against Zheng Wen for the hell of it, and letting Bing Wei persuade him along to bars for karaoke, Shu Yi is in love. And if he isn’t there quite yet he’s aware that he’s falling deeper by the day — by the second, really — into irrevocable love with Gao Shi De.

    He’s accepted Shi De’s place in his life as fact and he wouldn’t change it. It’s the way Shi De constantly frets over Shu Yi’s meals, and how Shi De can’t drift asleep without the certainty of gluing himself snuggly to Shu Yi’s back. It’s difficult to admit, at least at first, that Shu Yi can no longer imagine how he’d go on without these things. While they’re together, it’s easy to pretend that he’d be just fine apart, even if inside he knows that’s a lie to save them both a few tears. Shu Yi is 20 and falling in love with the man he’d grown up despising; and as the time comes for them to separate, and further when Gao Shi De betrays him, any tears Shu Yi had saved with lying to himself flow tenfold.

    He’s almost 22 and Gao Shi De broke his fucking heart.

    His eyes rip open as he comes back to his present, where the bastard’s adhered his cheating mouth to Shu Yi’s jawline even as he removes his own suit jacket. Shu Yi’s stomach twists with the realisation that he’d so nearly let him… he’d almost allowed him to get away with this.

    With Gao Shi De’s distraction comes a loosened grip, and Shu Yi grapples onto the chance — he launches his leg up without sparing a second, kneecap meeting Shi De’s groin in a hit that has the man’s face crumpling in pain. Even now Shu Yi’s chest twinges in sympathy, but he discards the feeling as abruptly as it had arrived in favour of escaping Shi De’s weight.

    In the blink of an eye, he’s clutched his mobile to run from the room in search of the gun he knows his dad stashed in the case of emergency. If the sound of Gao Shi De’s heaving at Shu Yi’s heels and the shaking in Shu Yi’s limbs are anything to go by, this certainly counts as an emergency. He tears the gun from the safe hidden in the back of his closet and hauls back to his feet. Adrenaline and nerves quickening his heartbeat beyond belief, he stands with the gun poised at the bedroom door. It’s strange that, for all that it feels like his mind is tripping over itself with questions, Shu Yi can’t pick out a single distinguishable thought aside from wondering, if it came down to it, would he be able to put a bullet through any part of Gao Shi De?

    He tries to calm his breathing in order to listen for Gao Shi De’s inevitable steps and figure in the doorway but when none come, Shu Yi inhales slowly and, with a glance to be sure he’s still got his father’s usual guards set to dial, he ventures into the hall. He’s met with the sound of Gao Shi De retching from inside the guest bathroom, and Shu Yi’s heart drops with relief as he trips back against the wall. He swallows, eyes closed, taking a moment to catch his breath. He stands frozen there in uncertainty, but within what must be less than five minutes, Gao Shi De has gone quiet.

    Shu Yi bites his lip between his teeth and peeks into the bathroom. Gun in hand, Shu Yi’s arms falter as he takes in the sight of Shi De out cold on the tile floor, his once pristine dress clothes stained with vomit. Shu Yi grimaces, nose wrinkling in disgust and something like pity, as he prods a foot into Shi De’s ankle. He’s really asleep. With that assurance, Shu Yi sets the gun onto the countertop and allows himself to let out the air he’d been holding like a security blanket in his chest.

    More collected, he steps over Gao Shi De to flush the mess he’d made of the toilet. He crouches beside him, unable to believe that after what had happened, now and before, Shi De is shameless enough to sleep so peacefully. Shu Yi raises an open palm to stamp a bruise against Shi De’s skin, a fist to shatter his jaw into fragments, but the hand pushes instead into Shu Yi’s hair, frustration tearing it back from his forehead as he looks away from Shi De’s unconscious face.

    He deserves it, Shu Yi knows. For what he’d almost done to Shu Yi this very night, for what he’d done years ago, Gao Shi De deserves to be as hurt as he’d made Shu Yi. And although some part of Shu Yi hates himself for being unable to deliver the blows… he just can’t. Neither can he let Shi De lay here in a puddle of vomit, as much as Shu may want to call it a day and abandon him. He huffs out a breath and goes about removing Shi De’s clothes for the wash.

    As he hurriedly wipes down Shi De’s body with purposely very little attention to detail, Shu Yi can almost hear his father’s voice saying that Shu Yi’s got to learn to be less soft, not to be the rug everyone likes to step on and discard. Shu Yi gives another huff, tosses the washing cloth into the sink in favour of dragging Shi De to his feet for the living room. He dumps him unceremoniously onto the leather sofa and Shu Yi swallows once Shi De’s out of his arms, all at once relieved and aching. Fucking bastard.

    Shi De’s naked as the day he was born but Shu Yi’s over it. He’s not doing even one more thing for that prick tonight; he can freeze to death for all Shu Yi gives a shit. He leaves him there to replace the gun in the safe and while he’s in his room, Shu Yi changes into loungewear. He spots a pair of sweatpants that he knows would fit Shi De the best out of anything else Shu Yi owns, but he shoves them deep into the drawer and slams it. He looks into the mirror above the dresser, sees himself reflected there with brows furrowed and lips coiled into a small, aggravated bud, and he sneers before spinning around for his bathroom.

    He locks the bedroom door and even then his head is pounding so badly that Shu Yi couldn’t possibly sleep. With painkillers in hand, two in the morning finds Shu Yi in the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water. Despite himself, he dares a glance into the living room where Gao Shi De is asleep like the dead, the same as he’s already been for hours. He’s never snored, and if not for the light rise and fall of his bare chest, Shu Yi might think he really is dead. He snorts at the thought even as it makes his headache worsen. He shakes his head on his way to turning back for the bedroom, but as he swallows the medicine another glance at Shi De gives Shu Yi pause. He rolls his closed eyes to the ceiling, free hand an annoyed fist at his side, but goes to dig out a spare blanket from his room anyway.

    Shu Yi’s fingers hesitate as they come across the one he’s had since late in high school, a blanket he’d saved because it was softer than anything he owns despite having been a relatively inexpensive gift of many from Jiang Yu Xin. He doesn’t admit it often even to himself, but it had also been the blanket Shu Yi kept on his bed for the longest time and was the one Shi De had used on several occasions. If not for it having been a gift from Yu Xin, its ties to Shi De should’ve been enough for Shu Yi to burn the damn thing. He sets the blanket aside for another that has far fewer memories and returns to the living room to drape it over Shi De’s sleeping form.

    Looking at him now, face unperturbed and young in sleep, Shu Yi might think… He recalls suddenly this same face hovering above him as its owner, weeping brokenly, had pinned Shu Yi’s stark protests to the sofa.

    Shu Yi drops the hand that had drawn across Shi De’s temple. Even after less than a second of contact, his fingertips may as well be scorched with the way they tingle. In another context that feels more like another life, Gao Shi De had held Shu Yi’s hands over his head and kissed him until their chests burned for air, but he’d always worn a smile, fond and teasing.

    Wherever his thoughts had been tonight, Shi De hadn’t come from a place of anything gentle, but desperation and heartbreak. Shu Yi could feel it, even after so long apart.

Do you know you’re blessed? Do you know you’ve always been protected?

    Shu Yi quietly clears his throat and looks away from Shi De’s face. What had he wanted to tell him, and why did it seem so difficult to tell?

    “You asshole, Gao Shi De,” Shu Yi says quietly, without heat. “You…” To Shu Yi’s surprise, Shi De mumbles something in return that he isn’t able to make out. “What? Finally feel like explaining yourself?” Shu Yi mutters sarcastically.

    “States,” has Shu Yi leaning down just slightly. “I shouldn’t’ve gone, shouldn’t’ve promised. Shu Yi.” He doesn’t go on, breaths evening out as he drifts again, and Shu Yi sighs. He can always interrogate Gao Shi De tomorrow about all this if he so chooses, even though the idea that Shi De will remember tonight in detail is mortifying.

    Shu Yi shakes his head and wanders off in return for the bedroom, every step away from Shi De a relief yet somehow and simultaneously a needle prodded into the pin-cushion that’s become Shu Yi’s heart these days.

    “Asshole,” he repeats once he’s alone in his room.

    He doesn’t sleep well, to no one’s astonishment, and is awake at six to prepare for the work he’d missed out on completing because of the tornado Shi De had caused last night. As much as he’d like to discuss everything, he’s more behind than he’d been before and although contracts can’t wait, the past certainly can. He works in the office adjacent to the living room, ears picking up the sound of Shi De’s waking movements in the otherwise silent house.

    He shoves his hands into his pockets, a likely transparent attempt at nonchalance, as he walks out to meet him. “There’s toiletries in the bathroom,” he informs Gao Shi De. “Clean yourself up and get out of here.” He tries not to show any reaction when Shi De grimaces upon shifting his lower half, a clear indicator that Shu Yi’s knee had left an impression.

    “I…” Shi De adjusts to better see Shu Yi. The blanket is covering him from stomach down over his legs, which reminds Shu Yi that he’s either got to throw the whole blanket out or wash it with powerful bleach to erase any hint of the man who’d slept beneath it. “I — Last night, we…” Gao Shi De has the audacity to move a finger from his chest to Shu Yi’s with eyebrows raised, like he’s embarrassed to hear the answer, “Did we…?”

    “Don’t you remember what happened?” Shu Yi demands, incredulous. He hadn’t wanted Gao Shi De to remember, sort of, but now that it appears he really has no memory of the night, it’s outrageous. Drunk or not, how could he possibly forget what he’d done? But Shi De looks away, and Shu Yi can’t help as his eyes soften from dismay into something resembling hurt, mouth falling open.

    The dinging from the front entrance and his father’s echoing, “Shu Yi!” interrupt any further conversation. “Daddy’s home!” he trills, shopping bags decorating his arms.

    Shu Yi stares at him, unamused. “Dad,” he begins, but pauses when his father’s eyes catch Gao Shi De and his casual smile promptly drops into an expression of bewilderment.

    “Gao Shi De!” he exclaims in a hoarse voice. The subject hesitantly lifts his face from where he’d hidden it behind his palm. “What are you doing here? You broke your promise!” Shu Yi’s eyes widen slightly at the word, the same that Gao Shi De had mumbled the night before. His father gestures at Shi De’s naked figure and then to Shu Yi, scandalised, “What did you do to my son?”

    At Shi De’s pointed look, Shu Yi interjects, “Do you two know each other?” His father denies it with a smile, of course, but Shi De just averts his eyes. Those contracts are going to have to wait a while longer. “What promise?” Shu Yi demands. The men share a glance and avoid Shu Yi’s gaze. He glares at them both.

    What the hell have they been up to?

[siren-queen-imagines]

Misunderstandings

This was requested by the lovely @fallinforhappiness​! I hope you enjoy! Considering I had already done similar prompts for Damien, I chose to do them with Shayne this time!

Prompts Used: 9.  “He loves you, you know? He’s just afraid of admitting it.”   15. “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death.”

Masterlist

(gif by me)

=================================

Shayne watched you from across the room at the Smosh office, smiling to himself as you were laughing with Courtney. Your smile was so beautiful and so infectious to him. If only he could find it in him to actually tell you that.

Your friendship meant the world to him. Shayne realized that he had feelings for you about a couple months after you guys met. The more he got to know you, the more his feelings grew for you. He knew he needed to tell you how he felt soon because he just needed to know if you might feel the same way.

“Yo, Shayne.” Damien called to Shayne, breaking him from his daydream. “Jesus, I’ve been trying to get your attention for 20 minutes.” He exaggerated with a knowing smile.

“Sorry, I was trying to think of how to finish this.” Shayne motioned to the computer in front of him.

“Come on, man, we both know that’s a lie. You were watching Y/N.” Shayne looked over to you to see if you heard Damien. “Don’t worry, she didn’t hear me. When are you gonna tell her?”

Shayne sighed and scrolled through the script page open on his computer.

“I don’t know.”

“Look, as a fellow anxiety sufferer, I get it. It’s feels scary.”

“It’s different with Y/N, and I don’t know why. Normally I could find it in me to at least ask for a date but I just--”

“It’s normal to really like someone and fear rejection. It a basic human fear. But you know you’re gonna have to tell her if you want to see where things go. She won’t be single forever.”

“I know.”

Damien stood up, patting his friend on the shoulder before he left the office to get some coffee from the kitchen. 

“Hey Damien.” You greeted with a smile on your face as you went into the fridge.

“How’s it going?” Damien smiled back at you.

“Not too bad. I can’t complain. How are you?”

“Pretty good. Just trying to get that next sketch finished with Shayne.”

“Speaking of Shayne...is he okay? He’s just seemed a little spacey and frustrated earlier.”

“Oh yeah, he’s fine. He’s dealing with some stuff right now.”

Damien took a moment to really think if he should say what he wanted to say next. Maybe if he told you about Shayne you would take the pressure off his best friend and if you felt the same, you could ask Shayne out instead. Or he could make it look like this was all his doing because in reality, he was right now.

“So, hey, I was thinking about setting Shayne up with someone.” Damien continued casually, making his coffee the way he liked it. “Would you hate me for saying that I think you would be good for him?”

“Really?” You replied in surprise. “That’s big coming from his best friend.”

“Yeah, of course you. I think you would be good for him.”

“I don’t know...I don’t think he would see me as more than a friend.”

“Trust me, you don’t have to worry about that.” 

Damien paused when he realized what he blurted out. Crap. He already kinda sorta spilled the beans. Well...that didn’t take long at all. Sorry Shayne...so so sorry.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

Wait, wait...was that hope Damien heard in your voice? Oh god, please. Please let it be. Despite possibly blowing this for Shayne, he really did mean it when he said that he thought you would be good for him. He still ended up sighing because he felt bad that he let the secret halfway out of the box...and was about to let it all out.

“Okay, look…” Damien put his coffee down on the counter. “He’s probably gonna kill me but he loves you, you know? He’s just afraid of admitting it.”

Your eyes widened in surprise. Love? Wow, how long has he been holding out on you?

“He loves me?” 

Oh goddammit, Damien. Did you have to use the ‘L’ word? That’s it, no more coffee for him because apparently he didn’t start messing up until he drank any.

“How long has he had these feelings for me?” You asked.

Honestly, wow. You did not see that coming. You felt butterflies in your stomach and hope filled your heart. You had the biggest crush on Shayne and sometimes you swore it was obvious but maybe you hid it well enough to go undetected.

“Long enough.” Damien relented, deciding there was no point in hiding it. “I know he thought you were cute when you guys met but the longer you guys got to know each other…”

You nodded, understanding where he was going. You lightly smiled when you thought of the timeline because it matched up to yours.

“Can you let me talk to him? Like, don’t mention this conversation to him?” You smiled at Damien softly.

“Definitely.”

OH thank god. He didn’t mess this up. 

“Thank you, Damien. Seriously.”

=================================

You waited to talk to Shayne. You didn’t want it to be obvious you had talked to Damien about it so time was important. You didn’t want to unintentionally rat out Damien.

Currently, you and Shayne were the only ones at the office at the moment. Damien and Courtney were both filming and you two weren’t expected on set for at least another hour.

“No, I think we can add that here.” Shayne told you, pointing to the paragraph on the page and moving his finger up halfway.

“Yeah, the joke would land better there.” You agreed, cutting the paragraph and pasting it back.

You looked over to Shayne. Maybe now would be a good time to talk to him about what Damien told you last week. You both had managed to finish sooner than expected so you had some free time.

“Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something.” You added before looking back to the computer, hitting the save button.

“Sure, what’s up?” Shayne asked, curiosity in his tone.

“I, uh--” Oh no...the nerves were kicking in. Why? Damien said Shayne had feelings for you so what are you nervous? “This may sound like it’s coming out of left field but I like you, like, really like you.”

Shayne’s heart started beating what felt like a million miles a second...you...you had feelings for him too?

“And I feel like I needed to say something because I didn’t want to possibly regret not telling you.”

“Y/N…” Shayne started, his nerves getting the best of him. Wait, what the hell? You basically did the hard work but he still had a rough time with it? “I--I don’t feel the same way--” WAIT WHAT? SHAYNE WHAT WERE YOU DOING?”

You heart sank...was Damien wrong? I mean, why would he lie about something like this? Did even Damien misread things? You took a shaky breath in and nodded.

“It’s okay. I understand.” You began to grab your things...you just needed to get out of there.

“Y/N, wait…” Shayne tried to stop you.

“I’ll see you on set, yeah?” You smiled at him sadly.

“Y/N--”

You were already out the door before he could correct himself.

=================================

“Are you serious?” Damien asked Shayne.

“I don’t know what happened, I panicked and that’s what came out.” Shayne said.

“Oh Shayne--”

“I know, I know.”

“You need to make this right.”

“How? I don’t think she wants to talk to me right now. I just hurt her feelings.”

“You can fix it by straightening up the misunderstanding. You do it or I will.”

“Look, I’ll give it until tomorrow.”

“Why wouldn’t you wanna try now?”

“Because like I said. She wouldn’t want to talk to me right now. She needs some space.”

Damien shook his head and before he could just ignore what Shayne said, they were called to set...unfortunately there wasn’t a chance for them to talk after that.

=================================

Turns out you had a date the next night with a friend of Courtney’s and Shayne didn’t take to that very well. You decided to work from home that day so he couldn’t fix it or he can at least tell you why you couldn’t go out on that date.

Thing was, you decided not to go out on that date. You decided it would be best to stay home and sort out your feelings instead of acting on a bad impulse. It wouldn’t be fair to Courtney’s friend if you chose to go out with him because you were hurting after what happened with Shayne.

You were watching Schitt’s Creek on Netflix when your phone rang. You paused it and grabbed your phone seeing Shayne’s name on the Caller ID. Should you answer? Yeah. Of course. It could be important because normally he’d just text you.

“Hello?” You answered.

“Y/N…” Shayne voice sang on the other line, followed by a laugh. “Oh Y/N...yer so beauful.” He slurred.

“Are you drinking, Shayne?”

“No, no. I finished. Im callin cause Damimen--Damin--Damien? Yeah Damien said to. He hope you can give us a ride home.”

“Why can’t he?” 

“He doesn drink much...but he did wif me so he cant drive.”

“Where are you?”

=================================

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Damien said from the passenger’s seat. He wasn’t as drunk as Shayne but he had enough to keep him from driving.

“It’s okay, Damien. Better this than you guys driving home.” You replied with a small shrug. “So thanks for being responsible and not getting yourselves hurt or killed.”

“Y/N…” Shayne called from the back seat. “I messt up.”

“It’s fine, Shayne.” You couldn’t help but smile. Drunk Shayne was new to you and it was funny.

“Nooo...no s’not. I really like you.” He cleared his throat before continuing. “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death.”

Damien smiled in shock as he looked towards Shayne. Finally. Also, he managed to get that out with a slur. Impressive. He then looked over to you to your shocked face as well.

“Wh--why didn’t you just say that yesterday after I told you how I felt?” You asked as you turned to face him at the red light. 

“I panicked. I been waitin to hear that then I said what I said. M’sorry.”

These past 24 hours have been a rollercoaster on your emotions. But in a sense, it was worth it because Shayne fucking felt the same way. It was happening. You quickly wiped at the tears brimming your eyes as you turned to face the stop light, a small smile on your face. 

==================================

“Hey.” Shayne greeted you when you answered your front door, nervous smile on his face.

“Hey. Come in.” You said, moving aside so he could come in.

“Thanks for last night. I’m so sorry about you dealing with drunk me.”

“Drunk you was hilarious. But how are you feeling?”

“Well, I woke up feeling like I was hit by a bus but I’m slowly getting better.”

“Good.”

“So about last night. I meant what I said. And I’m sorry I made you believe that I didn’t like you back.”

“It’s okay. Really, Shayne. I got into my own head and didn’t let you finish.”

“It’s not your fault.” Shayne took a step closer to you and took your hands in his. “I’m just glad to know you feel the same way about me. With that being said, can I take you out tonight?”

“Of course you can.”

You couldn’t help but close the gap between the two of you and lean in. Shayne met you halfway, his lips meeting yours in a gentle kiss.

[evendeadlmthehero]

The Five Year Promise: Gone South (2/10)

Summary: Y/N Stark, 20 year old superhero, makes a promise with a 16 year old Peter Parker after being cheated on, that if she hasn’t found love in the next 5 years, they’d finally go on a date. Then the snap happens. Y/N is gone and Peter isn’t.

Warnings: swearing, angst

Authors note: thank you everyone who gave me positive feedback. The response has been amazing and I’m so grateful! PS- we are now two chapters away (I think) for the snap, so prepare for more angst

Also, if there is any spelling mistakes, please let me know. I finished writing this at 1am :((

Twitter//BuckysLemons (I only have 1 follower lol)

The Five Year Promise Masterlist

Part 3

Based on after Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

“Big day tomorrow,” your Dad said as he walked into the lab he had set up for you. Peter was trailing behind him, smiling at you as a greeting as you smiled back. “Are you sure you’re up for it because I could go instead-“

“Dad I am up for it,” you cut him off, trying to ugrade your suit. You wanted to incorporate your father’s nanotechnology with your quantum knowledge to create a suit that infused the energy. That way you didn’t need bands around your wrist and can shoot energy blasts from your suit instead.

It was like sowing your suit with quantum energy.

“Just making sure,” your father spoke, as he ate from a bag of chips. He looked at Peter, who was staring at you like you were the biggest star in the universe, and smirked to himself.

Of course your father, unbeknownst to you, had always wanted you and Peter to be a couple. Peter was every father’s dream for their daughter; a sweet and pure little boy that can never do no harm.

He had even spoke to you about him once.

“So,” Tony spoke, as he saw you smiling at Peter’s retreating figure after declining Tony’s offer of wearing the iron suit and becoming an avenger. “What do you think of Peter?”

You looked at him confusedly, as you knew Peter for almost two years and your father never even asked that question until today. “He’s great, why?”

“Well I was thinking Pete’s a great kid, very smart,” Tony begun, listing Peter’s qualities. “Very great kid. Massive upgrade from that Loshorn kid.”

“It’s Osborn, dad,” you rolled your eyes at him, before your eyes looked at Peter walking away from the building with Happy following him. “And besides, Peter is 4 years younger. I’m pretty sure that’s Paedophilia.”

“Not if it’s just dating,” You dad pointed out, walking over to you and rubbing your shoulders. “He’s a great kid. Really mature for his age, I mean the kid turned down the chance to be an Avenger! If you don’t give him a chance, you’ll regret it. Plus, I’m pretty sure that kid has an undying love for you. He basically stares at you like your some goddess. You get that effect from me by the way.”

You rolled your eyes at your dad before your mind went to Peter again. You sighed, shaking your head.

If only he was older.

“I’m going to step out. You and Peter can talk about the mission and how apparently, I’m not needed,” your Dad spoke, giving you a little wink. You shook your head at your dad, continuing to play with your suit.

Peter’s eyes glazed with panick as he realised that meant alone time with you. “I-I it’s okay Mr Stark, you don’t have to leave.”

“No, no, no my daughter clearly doesn’t want me,” Tony spoke, grabbing his chest like he was in pain as he slowly walked towards the door.

“Says the one that wanted me aborted 20 years ago!” You called out, a smirk on your face as you worked on your suit. You picked up the half-eaten Apple on your right and took a bite.

“Are you serious right now?” Tony groaned, rubbing his eyes with the hand that wasn’t holding the bag of chips. “Because now I found out that you’re actually decent company. That’s all that matters. My dad wished he aborted me AFTER your grandmother gave birth.”

“Yeah because unlike you, I’m way cooler- ah!” You screamed, as your suit let a spark, scaring the hell out of you. The spark hit your apple and then the most weirdest thing happened.

You stared at your apple in bewilderment and so did Tony and Peter.

“I- I-“ you spoke out. Your apple was now full, not half eaten like it was before. You looked up to Tony and Peter, shaking your head. “I think- I think that suit regenerated the apple. Like- like healed it or-“

You stopped yourself, having no idea what happened.

Not knowing that soon, what you discovered, would change the world in a couple of years.

-

You sat on one of the seats at the back quinjet as it flew on autopilot. Usually before missions, you take a deep breath and close your eyes. You think about your Dad, Harry, Natasha and Pepper.

But this time, your mind drifted off to the boy who currently occupied the bathroom and was suiting up for the mission that Fury had gave you guys; Peter Parker.

Just two months ago, Peter was involved in an incident. Your father, and especially you, had told him to leave out of it, it was a job for the FBI. Peter of course didn’t listen to either one of you and still fought the guy who had been selling advance weapons to the community.

“Peter! Peter!” You yelled, as you ran into the building that you witness just collapse. Rubble was everywhere and the interior of the building was no more. You saw a man fly away, but you didn’t chase after him. Your mind was on Peter. “Peter where are you!”

You knew Peter would do something like this. So the moment your father had yelled at Peter with you on his side, you made sure that your little spy fly followed him around (obviously not when it was private stuff like the bathroom) just to make sure he was alright and wouldn’t do something reckless.

So when your little tech detected Peter running away from his Homecoming night in a suit, you of course followed him.

You hear a little groan and ran to the source. Your hands flew to your mouth as you saw Peter on the floor, stacks of buildings on his back.

“Oh no, Peter,” you mumbled, your eyes welling up. You ran to his side, trying to push the building and rubble away from his body, but you weren’t strong enough. “Fuck fuck fuck.”

“Y/N,” Peter groaned out, tears filling his eyes. “You have to leave me and catch him. He’s after the quinjet-“

“No! I’m not leaving you to slowly die! Got it Parker?” You told him. You sighed, looking around before your eyes fell back on him. “Okay, you have super strength right? Just push it up. Right there.”

You pointed at a specific spot. “If you can move that spot, everything else will move with it and you’ll be free.”

Peter tried but couldn’t. It was too heavy. Tears kept flowing down his face, fearing death. “Please Y/N, just go. There’s no use.”

“No,” you shook your head at him, going to the floor and grabbing his chin so he’d look at you, but his eyes just wouldn’t reach yours.

“Look at me,” you spoke softly. He put a let out a little sob, shaking his head. “Look at me Peter!”

He finally looked at you, and you smiled at him. A smile that told him everything will be alright, even if he was in a shitty position.

“If the world brings you down. If you are contantly pushed and pummeled to the floor. If you ever want to give up Peter. Just look me in the eyes and know I’m always there.”

Peter’s face was filled determination as he looked you in the eyes. Y/N Stark, the girl he fell in love with. Y/N Stark the only girl he would ever learn to love.

So then he pushed.

“Yes!” You encouraged him, laughing in joy as the building on top of Peter continued to move up. But Peter’s face didn’t change. He kept staring into your eyes.

“Look me in the eyes and know I’m always there,” he thought as he continued looking at you.

The door of the bathroom opened, signalling that Peter was done getting changed. You shook the thought of what could’ve happened out of your head and put on a smile.

“You ready Spidey?” You asked at him, giving him a little wink. You walked away before you could see his shocked and red face. “We have to jump out of the plane in T minus one minute.”

You go near the door of the quinjet, opening it. The wind blows your hair as you look at the miles and miles of grass.

“Go in. Save some refugees from terrorists. Get out,” you reminded Peter, rubbing your wrist from the absent feeling of the quantum bands. “Easy right?”

“Yeah,” Peter spoke, moving towards you to look down. His fear of heights were getting the better of him as he felt like backing out. “Easy.”

You sensed his nervousness and from the look he gave at the distant between the quinjet and the ground, you knew why.

You smiled at him, grabbing his hand. This made Peter feel at ease, giving you a small smile too. “Hey, remember what I said. If you ever feel like giving up, just look at me and know I’m there.”

Peter squeezed your hand, looking at you with adoration. The intensity of his eyes made you look away.

“I know.”

‘Y/N you’re 20, he’s 16,’ you mentally yelled at yourself. ‘He’s you’re little brother and your his older sister you idiot.’

“Y/N?” Peter asked as he saw a distant look in your eyes. “Are you okay?”

You quickly let go of his hand, and bit your lip as you looked at the ground. “Couldn’t be better.”

Peter nodded, already missing the feeling of your hand around his. As cliche as it sounded, it really did cure his fear of heights for that brief moment.

But now that the warmth of your hand was missing, his fear came back and bile threatened to come out.

“Are you ready?” you asked, as you neared the edge of the quinjet. Peter looked into your eyes, and nodded.

‘Know that I’m always there’

“Im ready.”

-

This wasn’t how this mission was meant to be. There wasn’t meant to be altered soldiers on this mission. There wasn’t meant to be mutants on the scene.

But here you were, fighting a mutant as strong as Captain America himself.

“Peter are you okay?” You asked through the comms, worried about Peter even though you just finished putting a mutant into a coma.

“Yeah I’m fine,” Peter breathed heavily, sounding like he had a fair share of mutants. “We- we need to get the refugees out.”

“No! Not you!” You yelled through the comms, as you marched towards the village. “I have the tech. You go back to the quinjet and prepare for the refugees!”

“Are you serious right now Y/N?” You heard Peter yell at you. He was swinging passed terrorist, shooting webs at them before they could shoot him. “There is no way in hell I’m leaving you with-“

All the sudden Peter went quiet. It was a short secound, when all the hairs on his body stood up. His skin was tingling and he felt his throat clog up.

He felt sick. Sick to his stomach. He felt his lips quiver and his hands begun to tremble as he spoke on the comms.

“Y/N, duck.”

You didn’t understand why he told you to duck. He wasn’t even near you, let alone see you. You don’t know why he would utter those random words.

But then you realised; his spider senses.

You looked to your right and saw a man smiling sadistically at you as he had a gun pointing at you. It all occurred in slow motion, in a span of three secounds.

And in that three secounds, Peter was rapidly moving towards you the moment a hair on his arm stood up. He had to make it to you, he had to. He kept swinging, fighting terrorists at the same time.

He was moving as fast as he could, his mind only on getting you to safety.

But it was too late. You were shot. Right in the heart. And Peter was forced to listen to the shot in the comms.

“No, no, no, no,” Peter mumbled, tears welling up in his eyes as he finally made it to your location. He saw someone with his gun smoking and quickly electrocuted him with his web.

He then looked at you and that’s when he lost it.

Your chest was bleeding and life was slowly leaving your body. You looked at him, blood dripping down your mouth. “P-Peter?”

“Hey Y/N,” he spoke, running towards your side as he picked you up bridal style. He lips started quivering as he wiped the blood off your mouth with his suit. “Hey Y/N, Hey. Keep your eyes open for me, please.”

You looked at him, a smile on your face. “Pete. I-It’s okay.”

Peter shook his head, tears streaming down his face profusely as he struggled to keep his body from not shaking. “No, no, no you can’t say that remember, you said that if you ever want to give up-“

“Peter-“

“To just look into your eyes and know,” he sniffed as a sob raked his body. “Know that your always there. Well, I’m always there. And you can’t give up on me. You can’t.”

“Peter,” you whispered, grabbing his cheek, making him look at you. “Take care of my Dad. D-don’t let him- don’t- you can’t- you can’t let him- let him slowly kill himse- you can’t-“

You stopped talking, as your soul left your body. Your hand fell from Peter’s face as both your mouth and eyes were wide open. Blood stopped leaking from your mouth and chest, and your face was pale.

“Y/N?” Peter spoke, his voice trembling as his hand shakily moved a piece of hair from your face. “Y/N! Y/N no please! Please, please, please. Don’t- don’t go. Let’s- let’s go home. I wanna go home.”

Peter held you tight for three hours.

He had told Karen to get Tony’s little robots to guide refugees into the Quinjet and get them to safety. When he thought it was time to leave you, he couldn’t. Peter could never leave you.

Tony even called Peter but Peter denied it. Of course, this had Tony anxious, but then Rhoudey tried to reassure him that maybe everything was okay and that they can’t call during a mission.

Peter was in hysteria. He didn’t even get the chance to tell you he loved you. Didn’t even get the chance to take you out on a date.

He thought he was going to regret this for the rest of his life.

But then, the hairs on his arms stood up once again. His breath hitched and his heart starting beating erratically.

Because he heard your heart beat.

And now his heart beat had synchronised with yours.

You had opened your eyes, looking at him all dazed.

Then Peter had realised you had stopped bleading for a while now.

And it was all because of your new suit

[yamithediaperdork]

Cry baby and Pee pants, part 1 (Digimon)

Matt cussed loud and long as he searched though his locker and the dressing room for the 5th time. The young blond had been trying out for a band, hoping to launch his music carer after more or less calling it quits as a digi destined, after barely keeping Tokyo from being blown up by a rouge digimon. This was actually his 6th audition, his young age and well, not exactly stellar skills on the guitar meant that he was told thanks for trying out, but he wasn't right for any of the bands till now. The leaping lizards had gushed over the raw talent being there, and had welcomed him on board, even pouring him a couple drinks of sake despite him being underage to celebrate. The last thing Matt recalled before waking up five hours later was them laughing at how stupid he was and.. Giving up the search, he had to finally admit the truth. they hadn't ever been serious about their offer to join the band and had just wanted to steal his guitar, a newer model and worth at least 300 bucks even being pawned. 'I suppose I should feel lucky I woke up with both kidneys.' Matt thought to himself. 'But how the fuck am I suppose to try out for the lone wolfs in two days with no instrument?' There was NO way he'd be able to get his parents to get him anther guitar, he'd had to basically break out the water works and plead on his knees for a month to get the last one. His antics had earned him the nick name of cry baby around both his dad's house and his mom's, and TK still wasn't letting it go and would ask if baby wanted his ba-ba. That left asking the others for a few loans, and most of them weren't too pleased he'd given up the hero game for fortune. Joe was blowing all his money on his studies anyways, Izzy on computer junk.. Sora and Mimi had been giving him the cold shoulder and he knew neither Kari nor TK would have the cash. '...I wonder if Tai's still hella gay?' Matt though, a Cheshire grin coming across his face. the always needy boy kisser had been good for getting a few video games before and junk, it was like 20 minutes of gay stuff like smooching and cuddling and then a little shopping spree AND Tai had just come into a fat wad of cash after a uncle that adored him had left him a big hefty inheritance. 'I can gay out for like, a hour for this.' Matt thought and getting his bag (and of course finding his wallet dry) he headed towards home, thinking about getting a even better guitar then before.

Tai was shocked when Matt called him the next morning, asking if he could meet up. After Matt had ditched the team only Tai and TK made any real efforts to hang with him, and TK only because they were brothers. In truth Izzy was giving Tai a hard time about it, but since Izzy was being a little bitch about a lot of things lately Tai just ignored his on and off again boyfriend. 'I mean, I was willing to get him that new computer he wanted and he couldn't rock a pamper butt for me? RUDE!' Tai thought and huffed. It was Tai's new fetish, and one he'd discovered by mistake when googling more on that Willis kid and finding out the little cutie had a website set up to show him modeling in diapers. Naturally seeing that Tai had begged and pleaded with Izzy to try out diapers but apparently Izzy had been a late bloomer and had only recently gotten out of daytime diapers before their whole adventure started. Naturally this had only made Tai wanna diaper him more, but again, Izzy was being a little pecker head about it. (at least from Tai's point of view.) 'heh. if Matt is expecting a little shopping spree today..he's in for a surprise. the boy is gonna earn it.' Tai thought, and went and checked on the supplies he kept under his bed on the off chance he lucked into a diaper boy. there they were, 2 packs of the diaper brand Willis recommended on his site, nice and thick, and a few onesies along with a changing pad and pacifiers and a baby bottle. 'Oh yeah..come onnn Matt..be desperate for money~'

Matt made sure to wear a nice tight sleeveless top and a pair of tight jeans (So tight he'd needed TK's help getting into them.) and made sure to spike his hair just the way that Tai liked it. TK wasn't dumb though, and knew what Matt was doing. "Looking good for your sugar daddy Cry baby." He teased and winked. "Your lucky Tai's expecting me, or I'd give you the noogie to end all noogies." Matt said, raising a eyebrow. it was just the two of them at their mothers apartment at the moment and TK used to know better then to push his luck when it was just them. "Mmhhhhmm.. your dadddy calls and cry baby Matt comes running. maybe HE'S gonna give ya yer ba-ba~" TK giggled. the giggles died off as TK saw the look on Matt's face, and when their mom would get back she'd find TK hanging by his undies from a nail on the wall. "...pushed cry baby too far again huh?" she asked, smirking and taking off her jacket. "Y-Yeah..uh..a little help?"TK squeaked. "Righttt after I put the groceries away.. think of this as time to reflect on watching your mouth." mom said and walked away. "B-But my undies are so far up my crack i can taste themmm!" TK whined. "then I don't need to worry about lunch." came the reply. "...Funny fucker aren't you." TK huffed under his breath, crossing his arms. "I hear that!"

Making his way to Tai's Matt got more then a few looks from both guys and girls, and likewise, a few wolf whistles. He ignored them for the most part, but had a smirk on his face knowing just how sexy he looked and soon was knocking on Tai's door. Tai gave him a once over as he opened the door and Matt smirked, he was almost drooling. "So, Like what you see?" Matt asked, and flexed a arm. "heh, Oh yeah. so gonna stand out there and look hot, or come inside and tell me what you want?" Tai asked, standing aside and gesturing into the apartment. "Don' worry, Kari had a school thing out of town and mom and dad are with her.I have you allll to myself." Tai added, slapping Matt's ass as he walked past, making Matt yelp and blush. Still, Matt knew what was expected of him for the most part and just flashed Tai a grin and blew a kiss. 'fucking bastard! he knows i hate spanking stuff!' Matt fumed. Matt went to sit down on the couch by Tai had closed the door and taken a seat in a arm chair, then patted his lap. '..He's totally getting me the latest guitar if he keeps this shit up.' Matt fumed, but walked over and sat on Tai's lap,putting his arms around the bigger boy. Matt might of been taller, but with all the sports that Tai played he had a bulked up look and was pound for pound much stronger. "So, You normally only get THIS dressed up if you want something, so what's my little Mattie need?" Tai asked, cradling Matt in a way that Matt recognized as using back when TK was toddler. "I..I uh..I have a band audition coming up..but some jerk's stole my guitar..and um.." Matt swallowed and then batted his eyes at Tai. "I was wondering, hoping if maybe you'd get me a new one.I've been practicing my kissing and we can cuddle and stuff for like, 2 hours even!" "heh. Well that IS a tempting offer. doubly so when your cute ass is in my lap. but I have a boyfriend if I just wanted to make out with a cutie. and Izzy is willing to go all the way." Tai chuckled. "O-Oh..but..I uh..I'm not..you...know..I'm.." Matt stammered. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna make you suck dick or take it up the poop chute. and I WILL get you whatever kinda guitar you want for your silly little audition which by the way is when?" Tai asked, kissing Matt's forehead and making alarm bells go off in the blond mind. "I-It's tomorrow at 3 pm sharp. And..what do you want then?" Matt asked, a nervous twitch to his voice. "Oh nothing too much. something really easy actually." Tai said and smiled. 'Bullshit' Matt thought but kept the smile on his face. "and that is?..." "For every say.. 20 dollars I spend on your little guitar I get one hour with you being my darling little diaper boy." "..What?!"

Tai smirked as he got ready to put Matt back into padding. the blond was looking huffy as fuck, but was keeping his mouth shut all the same, likely trying not to blow his semi good deal. Tai of course fully understood WHY Matt wouldn't be happy with the deal, but couldn't help but tease the impending little uy a little bit. "Awww come on widdle Mattie, can't you give daddy a smile? Your making daddy think you don't wanna do our widdle deal." He he teased, reaching over and tickling mat''s chin while the blond sat cross legged next to him. "...Your a sick man, you know that?" Matt asked, but he was grinning all the same, though whether it was from the chin tickles or humoring him Tai couldn't be sure. "Flattery will get you everywhere." Tai said with a wink, and as he finished getting the changing pad (with a adorable teddy bear print) set up and the changing supplies ready, he looked over Matt's jeans as he tugged out 3 of the thick puffy diapers. "So, are gonna be able to get out of those by yourself? they almost look spray painted on." Tai asked. "I can totally undress myself!" Matt huffed and stood up, unbuttoning the jeans and sliding his thumbs into the belt loops and tugging. And tugging some more. and then more tugging as they didn't budge. "You were saying?" Tai asked, in a clearly delighted tone. "..Shut up and help me get these things off." Matt huffed.

Matt was crimson after they FINALLY got his jeans off, partly due to the fact it had taken 10 minutes of effort, and well, needing Tai's help to undress. Not helping matters was the fact that Matt had chosen to go commando and well, liked to keep it shaved down there. "Awww somebody was a good boy and knew what was coming and saved daddy some time!" Tai teased. 'oh shut the fuck up!' Matt thought. "Yeah, let's go with that." was his sulky reply. Tai had oddly grabbed a razor blade all the same and cut silts in the back and front of two of the three massive diapers he was planing on putting on Matt, making the blond give his impending 'daddy' a weird look. "It's so when you go tinkle, the wetness is shared and you can go longer in your diapies. Same for when you go boom boom." Tai said cheerfully. THAT had caused the blush to leave Matt's face, at least for a little bit as he paled. "W-Wait.. you mean..you want me to.. uh.. go.." Matt stammered, and the blush returned as he struggled to say the words, then hissed and blew a raspberry. "in my diapers!?!" "..Ok that was hella cute. and Yup, I'm even gonna be nice and let you use them all on your own for today, though if I don't like the results I'm seeing I'll be sure to get you some potty med's to help." Tai said and winked, then patting the changing mat. "come on Little guy, let's get your diapies on and then you can sit in daddies lap while we order you a guitar so you can make music for daddy." "But..I thought we were going and getting one today!" Matt whined. "Oh, does somebody wanna go out shopping in his diapers? So bold!" Tai teased. "NO! I just..uh.." mental images of Matt waddling around in the big bulky diapers, holding Tai's hand and sucking his thumb flooded his mind and he started to squirm lots even as he laid down on the changing pad. "Don't worry. I'll pay for rush delivery. if we get it in town it'll be here by this afternoon. Maybe I'll let my little exhibitionist answer the door." Tai teased, and grabbed the first diaper. '...I could really go for anther glass of sake right now.' Matt thought and lifted up his butt like a good boy.

Back at the apartment TK was having pain fueled day dreams of all the times his undies hadn't of been lodged up his crack and wished his mom would hurry up and come and get him down. Not helping the whole situation was the fact that he had a growing bladder issue and any attempt's to shift around and relive the pressure there only made the undies ride up more. His mom had gone from putting things away to excuse herself to the bathroom, an like she was the worlds greatest comedian she'd told him not to move, and to hang in there. TK had wisely kept his opinions of her humor to himself as he had a sneaking suspicion that his earlier comments had helped extend his wedgie time. Still as the need to tinkle grew more and more TK couldn't keep quiet. "MOMMY! I hafa go pee! if you don't wanna clean up a puddle you needa get me down NOW!" He called. the bathroom door opened and Nancy walked out, smirking. "Why didn't you say something sooner wedgie boy?" she asked, taping a finger on his nose. "...You were just waiting in there!?!" TK shouted and huffed, crossing his arms and glaring. Sadly as his attention was focused on his mom and being mad at her, it was diverted from where it needed to be. "Well you were being a little brat an-" She started, then looked down as a hissing noise was heard and looked at the growing wet patch on the front of TK's undies, and the puddle that was starting to form on the floor. "Really?" "T-This is your fault!" TK huffed even as she grabbed him under the arms and lifted him down, though holding him away from her so she didn't get any pee on her. The flow was weakling and stopping as she got him on his feet, turning him so he could add to the puddle while not standing in it since he was in socks. (not that they weren't already wet) "Mhmm.. Well go and finish in the bathroom and clean up." She said, rolling her eyes then noticed a super guilty look on TK's face. "The..flow DID stop because you got it under control right?" She asked, a smirk tugging on her face. "Er..well..see.." TK said, rubbing the back of his head and chuckling nervously. "Go grab a shower pee pants, and meet mommy in your room. you know the rule for pant's wetters in this house." She said and turned away to go and get the mop and bucket as TK whined. "MOOOM! NOT THE PULL UPS!"

Back at Tai's and Matt was powdered and tapped in his triple thick white diapers, and squirming like crazy as he looked at himself in the mirror. Tai had tugged off his shirt so at the moment Matt was JUST in his white socks and white diapers, and he couldn't even close his legs! and as bad as it looked from the front, once he turned around and looked over his shoulder it was WAY worse in the back! He hadn't of even been able to get to his feet without Tai's help (well, he was gonna use Tai's bed to pull himself up but Tai had insisted daddy was here to help) and to say he was waddling was a massive understatement. "So what do you think little guy?" Tai asked, coming up behind him and making Matt look front ward in the mirror again, kissing Matt's cheek as he patted Matt's fat diapered bottom. "...I feel like I'm gonna knock lamps off of end tables, and there should be a beeping noise when i back up!" Matt whined. "heh, cute idea. I'll see what i can rig up for your next diaper day with daddy." Tai chuckled and kissed Matt's cheek. 'I need to stop giving him ideas.' Matt mentally groaned. "Can I at least put my shirt back on or something? or you have some shorts I can put over these? I wanna try and cover the diapers up!" Matt whined. "oh, You're just in luck little guy! Daddy DOES have something to go over your adorable huggies." Tai said. The old familiar warning bells were going off in Matt's head as Tai went and reached under the bed, and pulled out two onesie's, or as Matt called them, diaper shirts. One was light blue with a yellow trim on the sleeves, neck and leg hole, and had a yellow star on the front, that had a smiling face and said 'daddies little star' under it in yellow text. the second one was a white one with a dinosaur print all over it, and Matt fought the urge to facepalm. 'I really need to start watching my goddamn mouth.' he thought. "So buddy, what do you thin? wanna be my widdle star, or a dino boy?" Tai asked. "Gee, they're BOTH so tempting." Matt said, unable to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. If Tai noticed though he didn't show it and just nodded instead. "You're right, I'll pick for you." '...REALLY need to just keep my effing mouth shut!'

In the end Tai went with the little star onesie, though he'd over estimated just how thick he could go and still use them as it was a bit of a fight to get the crotch snaps to close. "I think after we get you your little guitar, we'll go shopping and get more cute outfits for my widdle musician." Tai said. He could tell Matt was less then pleased, but the boy forced a smile on his face and nodded. "whatever you want ta-" he started to say. "ah ah ah, when your butt is in diapers, it's DADDY. Got it?" Tai said, wagging a finger and smirking. "..Yeah OK." Matt replied, rolling his eyes. "yeah OK what?" Tai questioned, the grin getting bigger. "...Yeah OK daddy." Matt said, smiling but clenching his teeth. Tugging Matt over/ helping the padded cutie keep his balance, Tai sat down in his big comfy computer chair and tugged Matt into his lap, giving the big baby's neck a kiss. "Now did you have a certain store in mind, or just want me to google and shop around?" Tai asked.

[flowerfan2]

Group Texts Are Ridiculous (Or, Five-0 Starts a Group Text)

Somehow I managed to post Chapter 2 on A03 a few days ago without posting on tumblr... I’m not sure how many people actually depend on tumblr for fic these days, but in case you do, here you go!

McDanno, T, A03

Summary:  After 10x22 when Steve leaves Oahu to go find himself, Five-0 starts a group text to keep in touch while Steve’s away.  Picks up after the end of Season 10. 

Chapter 2

May 20, 2020

SM:  Hey, where’s Danny?

LG:  With Tani, I think, heading to a crime scene on the north shore.  Sure glad to have him back.  Otherwise it would have been me getting up at the ass crack of dawn when Duke called.

SM:  Does Danny seem ready?

LG:  Ready to come back to work?  Sure.  Shirts are crisp, slacks nicely pressed, hair sprayed firmly in place.  Your boy looks great.

SM:  Ribs not hurting him anymore?

LG:  Maybe a little, but it’s not slowing him down much.

SM:  He hasn’t been answering my texts.

LG:  Did you do something to piss him off?

SM:  Probably.  I usually do. Not sure what this time, though.

TR:  Don’t stress, boss. Danny’s right here, looking sharp as always.  we’re in the car.

SM:  Tani, what have I said about no driving and texting?

TR:  I’m not - Danny’s driving.

SM:  Can I talk to him?  Put it on speaker.

TR:  That would require you to actually call him.  Maybe give it a few minutes though?  We’re a little busy right now.

SM:  What, he can’t drive and talk on the phone at the same time?

TR:  It’s the dodging of bullets that might make that challenging.  Not that Danny isn’t a great multi-tasker, but it seems like an unnecessary risk.

 SM:  Tani, what the hell is going on?

 LG:  Damn.  On my way.

 SM:  Tani, report, now.

 JR:  What just happened?

 SM:  Junior, why aren’t you with Danny?  And where’s Quinn?

 JR:  Day off, sorry sir.

 SM:  Someone call HPD, why don’t you have any back up?

 TR:  No worries, the perp’s not chasing us anymore.  His car flipped over and sort of slid down the dunes. Probably not good for the birds. But he definitely stopped shooting, so it’s all good.

 <i>DW has changed the name of the group text to</i> <b>My Camaro has another bullet hole and it’s Steve’s fault</b>

  <b>May 21, 2020 </b>

 SM:  We have to talk about yesterday.

 DW:  Everything’s fine, Steve.  

 SM:  It didn’t sound like it.  

 DW:  We had it under control.

 SM:  Why was Tani texting when people were shooting at you?  She should have been covering you, or calling for back up. She should have seen it coming. You should never have been in that position in the first place.

 DW:  One, Tani did nothing wrong, and two, mind your own beeswax.

 SM:  Mind my own – what’s that supposed to mean?

 DW:  Think about it for a minute, you’ll figure it out.

 SM:  Are you even recovered enough for active duty?

 DW:  Oh, now you’re interested in my health?

 SM:  Danny, Five-0 is still my team, my responsibility.

 DW:  Is it, now?  Funny, because I’m pretty sure the governor told me I’m in charge.

 SM:  Temporarily.

 DW:  Indefinitely.  Or have you booked a flight home that you haven’t told us about?

 SM:  Danny, we’ve been over this.

 DW:  Don’t I know it.

 SM:  I’m just concerned about all of you.  

 DW:  Great.  Come home and take your job back.  Otherwise keep your mouth shut.

 SM:  I’m not criticizing, it’s just that it doesn’t seem like yesterday went exactly according to plan.

 DW:  According to plan?  Since when have you ever done anything according to plan?  You are the head of not having a plan, the Czar of plan-less-ness, the President of who needs a fucking plan.

 LG:  You guys do remember this is a group text, right?

  <b>June 2, 2020</b>

 JR:  Do any of you know what was in the package Danny got today?

 TR:  You could just ask him.

 JR:  I would, but he opened it up and then locked himself in his office and he’s been on the phone for half an hour.

 QL:  Might be a sign that he wants some privacy.

 TR:  You think?

 JR:  So I shouldn’t ask him?

 TR:  No, you should definitely ask him.  But maybe bring him some malasadas when you barge into his office, it might soften the blow.

 LG:  Or distract him enough that he doesn’t hit your head when he throws something at you.

 DW:  It’s kind of late for malasadas, but I’d love a sandwich from Machete’s.  Turkey and salami, Italian dressing instead of mayo.

 JR:  Yes sir.

 LG:  You’re enjoying this boss thing, aren’t you, Danny?

 DW:  It’s good to be king.  At least where lunch is concerned.

 TR:  So are you going to tell us what was in the package?

 DW:  Will you do my paperwork for the week?

 TR:  Yesterday you said I was worse at paperwork than Steve.

 DW:  Good point.  Will you get Junior to do my paperwork?

 JR:  Hey, wait a minute, I’m getting the sandwiches.

 TR:  Deal.  Don’t worry Junes, I’ll make it worth your while.

 LG:  TMI, children.

 …

 LG:  Tani, spill.  What was in the package?

 DW:  A stuffed squirrel.  A stuffed animal.  Not, like, a once was alive squirrel, like a toy.  

 QL:  Who sent it to him?

 TR:  Apparently that piece of information wasn’t part of the deal.  

 JR:  It’s from Steve.

 TR:  Danny told you?

 JR:  No, I looked at the return address.  He put the package in the recycle bin in the break room.

 DW:  At least someone here has some detective skills.

 LG:  Okay, I’ll bite.  Danny, why did Steve send you a squirrel?  Is it for Charlie?

 DW:  Nope, it’s mine.  And anyone who touches it is dead.

 JR:  So… who’s gonna grab it?

 LG:  Junior, I’d think twice.  Danny’s got the power to assign you to walking the beat for the rest of the summer.  I think that squirrel looks great right there where it is on Danny’s desk.

 TR:  He can be our honorary Five-0 mascot.

 DW:  Exactly.  The very first Hawaiian squirrel.

 DW:  But let me reiterate, you may not touch him.  If I see a tiny aloha shirt or a lei on my squirrel, heads will roll.

 TR:  I like this side of you, Danny.  Very authoritative.

 DW:  The children do not respect me, Lou.

 LG:  Didn’t the governor say he needed extra security at that concert Saturday night?

 DW:  The heavy metal battle of the bands?  The one that lasts for five hours, and features not just professional bands, but appearances from some of the most popular amateur head-banging groups around?  Hm, I think he did.  I was going to check with HPD to make sure it was covered.  Do you think they need personal attention from Five-0?

 TR:  Danny, you might notice that a note has just been slipped under your door. It’s from me and Junior, attesting to our sincere understanding that the squirrel is off limits.  Just in case you were wondering.

 DW:  And all is right with the world again.

 LG:  Amen, brother.

 TR:  But just out of curiosity, what are you going to name your apology squirrel?  Pineapple?

 DW:  Thin ice, my friend, thin ice.

 <i>TR has changed the name of the group text to</i> <b>First Hawaiian Squirrel Fan Club</b>

  <b>June 20, 2020</b>

  JR:  Anyone want to come over and watch Jurassic Park with me and Charlie?  We went a little overboard with the snacks.

 LG:  What kind of snacks?

 JR:  Primarily pretzels.  For some reason I had never really looked that closely at the pretzel aisle at Foodland before.  We got chocolate covered pretzels, pretzels stuffed with peanut butter, honey garlic pretzels, and probably some others too.

 TR:  What brought on this pretzel craving?

 JR:  Actually Charlie wanted pineapple pretzels.

 LG:  There is no such thing.

 JR:  That’s what I thought too, but it turns out I was totally wrong. The ABC store on my block has them.

 LG:  You are shitting me.

 JR:  They’re called Pretz.  Pineapple flavor.  They’re actually pretty good.

 LG:  Okay, I’m coming over just to taste those.  Renee’s out tonight anyway.

 TR:  You’ll have to save me some.  I’m hanging with Koa tonight.

 LG:  And what does our fearless leader think about pineapple pretzels?

 JR:  He probably won’t like them, but he’s not home.  

 TR:  Babysitting, Junes?

 JR:  Charlie’s my pal, he’s not a baby.  But yeah.

 TR:  Where’s Danny?

 JR:  On a date.

 TR:  That seems unlikely.

 JR:  That’s kind of harsh, isn’t it?  Danny’s a good looking guy.

 TR:  Of course he is, that’s not what I meant.

 DW:  Thanks.

 TR:  Fuck I keep forgetting we’re all on this text.

 JR:  Danny, how’s your date going?

 DW:  It would probably be going better if I wasn’t texting you guys.  

 SM:  Learned that lesson finally, did you?

 DW:  Steve, isn’t it a little late where you are?

 SM:  Never too late to help out a friend.  Are you wearing the French blue button-down?

 DW:  No, it got ruined.  I’m just wearing a black polo.

 SM:  Too bad, that’s a great shirt.

 DW:  I’m going to the mall tomorrow, there’s a sale at Lord & Taylor, I need new shirts.  For some reason mine keep getting blood stains on them.

 SM:  Wish I could go with you, you do better with a wingman.

 DW:  It’s true, you talked me into buying two of those slim fit dark blue ones, and those are some of my favorites.

 SM:  Don’t be afraid to try darker shades, Danny.  You resist it but in the end you look great.

 DW:  I did like the dark gray one you made me try on.  But not the purple one.  It made me look like a gigolo.  Anyway blue’s still my favorite.

 SM:  It’s true, nothing makes your eyes sparkle like a blue shirt.

 DW:  And good company, of course.

 LG:  I feel like this thread has been hijacked by aliens.  

 TR:  Aliens who like menswear.  Danny, isn’t your date annoyed that you’re spending all this time texting?

 DW:  Oh, she left.  I’ll be home soon, I’m just picking up some ice cream for the Jurassic Park marathon.

 JR:  I’m so confused.

 SM:  Don’t overthink it.  But make sure Danny tries the pineapple pretzels.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

THE SEEIN’ DEAD MOD IS A BAND-AID FIX

gearbox locked zane’s lazy fix behind a paywall

tl;dr: for the love of god, the seein’ dead class mod should be what the seein’ red capstone is and vice versa. also. MORE SYNERGY. also i redesigned all of Zane’s trees and augments for more synergy you’re welcome.

is 1am and i don’t want tomorrow and im angry and thinking about borderlands so this seems like the perfect time to immerse myself in remaking Zane’s skill trees (for the 5th time). mainly because some of zane’s skills are still irking me and i’ve written extensive essays for the bl3 subreddit about the seein’ dead class mod and just playing around with zane’s skills in general, but i don’t think i’ve ever posted here before about it. so here we are. i notice i usually save lore/theories/characterizations for this blog and meta/balancing/gear talk for reddit. not sure why that’s a split for me. 

now i’ve remade zane’s skills a number of times, but honestly this was all before the seein’ dead mod was released. then, instead of fixing his skill trees, i wrote a lot of essays about why that mod was a terrible bad decision on gearbox’s part (you can read one of the shorter arguments in a comment from 5 months ago here). I’m just gonna remake the skill trees now with all his current abilities in mind.this post really should be titled: ALL THE PROBLEMS WITH THEIR BALANCING DECISIONS

so imma just talk for a bit about why i love/hate the seein’ dead class mod. 

Obviously it’s a god tier mod, and you see almost no zane builds without it, and no top tier, can solo m10 true takedown builds without it (unless ur like, the 1% of masochistic players, in which case i salute you). and while that obviously means its a good mod, it also shows the problems with all his other class mods and his skill trees in general.

They all kinda suck. and that wouldn’t be a problem, bc, hey, the seein’ dead mod is ez to get, just pop on over to the casino and kill a few baddies and they’ll  drop like candy. Which is really awesome!

slight problem.

the dlc is locked behind a PAYWALL

now this is a problem because if zane was a top tier character BEFORE the dlc, and everything was hunky dory and people weren’t on their knees begging for gearbox to fix Zane, then him getting a new badass class mod wouldn’t be such a big deal. but the problem was this was gearbox’s solution to giving Zane a buff.

they literally locked a buff for a character behind a pay wall.

I recommend Zane is every single person I try to convince to play bl3, but i always have to add this like, commercial-esque asterisk. you know, terms and conditions or, side effects or whatever. *you probably want to get the seein’ dead mod if you’re looking at end-game play because unless you wanna struggle that’s his only viable play style.

what if they don’t want to buy the dlc?! for real...

There’s also the point that this class mod makes his (arguably) BEST capstone obsolete. so we have distributed denial which literally no one uses because its broken, double barrel which is always traded for seein’ red or more points in other skills, and seein’ red, WHICH WAS MADE USELESS BY THIS CLASS MOD

gsfdhjikdhgdaskjfhgaskdfjh

okay and it wouldn’t even be so bad

IF THEY DIDN’T CHANGE HIS ENTIRE SKILL SET BEFORE RELEASE

like they lowered ALL his kill skills, then they turned Seein’ Red into his capstone instead of Death Follows Close, meaning they nerfed Death Follows Close so it could fit as just a game changer. my poor boy was g u t t e d.

so, imagine this, everyone is reaching the end-game content of bl3. it’s a month or 2 weeks or whatever after the game dropped and people are finally hitting level 50. and moze/fl4k/amara are all killin’ it, and the zane players have to work their ASSES off to do like... 50% of that damage output (now, they did also eventually nerf the crap outta moze and fl4k but the point stands). 

so instead of gearbox going: “oh... shit that pre-release nerf was an awful idea, revert the changes guys” they decided to keep him gutted and then they released what was, in my opinion, a kick in the nuts with the maliwan takedown (aka the antifreeze mod, alongside the spiritual driver) ahahahahahaha. what good times it was. (I say this sarcastically.) 

man i remember people were soooo livid with that class mod release. well, both of them. zane mains were pissed off (for good reason). “yes, let’s make the people who are begging for a straight damage increase jump through MORE hoops (LITERALLY) for a pitiful amount of damage. oh, also, let’s give their 28 skill point build to the strongest character in the game for free and also make it 10x better”. because it was 10x better than violent momentum (driver didn’t have a damage cap) until they fixed both the spiritual driver and the violent momentum skill. it was the worst of times.

i will note here they did, around this time, let zane have stackable kill skills, but it was only 2 stacks and also it was still *incredibly* difficult to achieve stacks because zane just. struggled to kill anything. I still remember when i grinded the shit outta an antifreeze class mod and it took me over 20 minutes to kill Wotan my first time solo on m4. Not the fight UP to wotan. literally. just killing wotan.

then the seein’ dead mod dropped and i had. a fuckin. 15 minute decrease to my time on killing wotan (5 minutes!!!!). now i am not perfect, and i 100% believe i could’ve lowered the time even more. but that... that shows a VERY CLEAR problem.

they never actually fixed zane, they gave him a class mod that’s stupid OP just to make sure he could hang on next to the other Vault Hunters. it’s just a bandaid fix. you remove the class mod, and he’s back to pre-jackpot power levels (which will NOT hold up at m10, let me tell you). 

all his pre-jackpot problems are still here, and that’s why people are not using any other class mod of his. I bet we could have some really fun builds with the conductor mod! but nobody will ever use it because it’s just... not even close to the seein’ dead mod.

So what does the seein’ dead mod do that makes Zane so good?

IT BRINGS HIM BACK TO PRE-RELEASE VALUES

this mod, plus Death Follows Close, brings Zane back to pre-release zane. and i don’t understand how gearbox isn’t putting two and two together and going “Oh.”

it also is a BETTER VERSION of Seein’ Red!!! something players could have had at, like, level 15, but instead had to wait until they hit a capstone! the capstone is completely obsolete at this point. There is nothing seein’ red can give you that seein’ dead doesn’t do but better. Getting that capstone is a w a s t e of skill points.

AND they locked this fix behind a pay wall!!! i cannot say that enough. you don’t wanna get the handsome jackpot dlc?? guess u don’t wanna play zane at endgame then. too bad, so sad.

have i stated that enough? because it still blows my fuckin mind. THEY LOCKED A CHARACTER FIX BEHIND A PAYWALL

djhdgakjhakjdah. imagine playing without any prior knowledge and being like, aw man i love this zane character. can’t wait to get to max mayhem end game like all my favorite youtubers and friends!! then finding out you gotta drop 15 bucks or whatever it is just to actually be able to play at max mayhem level. that is not a skill difference, that is A BALANCING PROBLEM MY DUDES. like. my favorite zer0 build was still viable without the story DLCs. obviously grog > rubi, pimp > lyuda, rapier > law but, it was still fuckin viable.

guh. gufhgufhsdgkfjsdh. it bothers me.

ok so there’s a lot i just went over: my main issue? is that by making Seein’ Red a capstone, they did nothing to make it an actual legit capstone. They definitely nerfed Death Followed Close to make it a gamechanger, but they never gave Seein’ Red a buff to move it from a gamechanger to a capstone. It was the same exact skill. Seein’ Dead is what Seein’ Red SHOULD be and that’s what angers the crap outta me. they locked this obvious fix behind a pay wall (AND a gear slot!!!!!) n ur probably thinking ‘but cruddy this WAS really nice of them to try and fix zane... they could’ve just let him be suuc’ and like, yeah, they could’ve, and it is good they’re TRYING, but also, they’re leaving the people who DON’T buy the DLC high and dry.

keep in mind i DO own the dlc. have the season pass and everything. IM STILL MAD!!!

Zane should be strong no matter what class mod the players want to use. Same with Amara, same with Moze, same with Fl4k. FFS, it is not that hard. CHANGE THEIR SKILLS!!!!!

so im gonna be taking the time to go over all of zane’s skills and shit just to put him more on par with the others (WITHOUT THE SEEIN’ DEAD MOD)

imagine the seein’ dead mod doesn’t exist for this. we’re gonna make a balanced character since apparently THAT’S TOO HARD FOR A TRIPLE-A BALANCING TEAM

first things first, the tree with the most fuckin problems: 

Under Cover

oh god this tree is a fucking train wreck what the hell were they thinking. good god. my eyes. they’re burning.

not actually, but it still kinda sucks.

Action Skill: Barrier is fine. I would not add the ‘picking it up decreases benefits’ when Zane’s whole schtick is running around fast. You get the full bonus no matter what form it’s in. also, you can hold down the action skill activation button to deploy the barrier directly on yourself.

Tier 1: Hearty Stock is a trap. never get this. so dumb. no synergy with his other skills. Adrenaline is okay, but not really great during end game. Ready For Action is similarly okay. Just a very MEH start to this tree. 

Adrenaline: Zane gains increased Action Skill Cooldown Rate. 10% per level, up to 50%. this shouldn’t be tied to his shields being full because if your barrier is down (cooling DOWN)... your shield is taking damage. c’mon now. THINK GEARBOX T H I N K

Hearty Stock: (maxed) Zane and his clone gain 5% magazine regeneration while an action skill is active. This skill stacks. In it’s original state, this skill is such a trap skill. for real.

Ready For Action: i mean, it’s fine. We’ll keep it. +30% shield recharge rate and -29% (why????) recharge delay

Tier 2: ech. Stiff Upper Lip is not that good. Brain freeze is what u really want. Rise to the Occasion is also okay.

Brain Freeze: keep the same.

Stiff Upper Lip: when Zane is damaged with a hit that would break his shield, he gains (max) +20% bonus gun damage on his next shot through the barrier.

Rise to the Occasion: Zane and his clone gain health regeneration. +5% max health/s. Not determined by shield availability.

Tier 3: `screams in confident competence` oh lawd. this skill is good. the accuracy thing is kinda laughable. i tell you, i always thought that zane was originally meant to be the sniper with the Under Cover tree but they decided to swap Zane and Fl4k’s skills. which is why Zane has soooo many accuracy buffs.

Confident Competence: fine the way it is. I would also add, since this IS a game changer, that the Barrier’s damage amp is now 40%.

Tier 4: ew. tier 4. Really Expensive Jacket is literally the only skill you might want to get and EVEN THEN. ugh. Best Served Cold is so pointless. and so is Futility Belt. YOU TAKE MORE DAMAGE WITH IT

Really Expensive Jacket: Elemental Status Effects have reduced duration (-50%). Additionally, Zane is not slowed by Cryo anymore.

Best Served Cold: Remove the cooldown. Buff up the damage at least 200%. Make it an AOE Brain Freeze. That is, the cryo novas stack and if overkill damage is high enough, enemies hit with the novas freeze. Kinda like a discount Frozen Heart.

Futility Belt: HA. Ahahahahaha. Ha. Zane gains resistance to non-elemental and cryo damage (+15%). Futhermore, after killing an enemy, Zane’s barrier gains additional cryo damage (+20%) for 8s.

Tier 5: is oki. My only real complaint is with Nerves of Steel. Like. Seriously.

Refreshment: god tier skill actually. Keep the same.

Best Served Cold: also keep the same. The only change I will make is this: resetting your action skills’ cooldowns counts as action skill start and end.

Nerves of Steel: The longer Zane’s barrier is active, the more stacks of Nerves of Steel he gains (a maximum of 15). For each stack, Zane gains 2% shock damage, 2% cryo efficiency, and 1% damage to frozen enemies. (why shock damage? cryo doesn’t do well against shields.)

Tier 6: *cries in the worst capstone in the entire series* WHO DID THIS. WHY. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU???

Distributed Denial: no. just. no. scrap this whole damn thing. IT DOESN’T EVEN WORK!!!! either fix it COMPLETELY or do something else. My recommendation? Whenever Zane throws down his barrier, his shield instantly begins recharging. If Zane’s shield is already full or recharging, enemies with no shields (or freeze immunity) that touch Zane’s Barrier for the next 10s are instantly frozen.

Augments: why the hell do i gotta place my barrier down when my entire fuckin’ character is about RUNNING. ALSO JUST AS A BLANKET STATEMENT: ALL THESE AUGMENTS WORK 100% EVEN IF HIS BARRIER IS PICKED UP. SO DUMB. a fully pointless restriction.

that last sentence immediately fixes Charged Relay and Nanites or Some Shite.

Redistribution: If his shields are full, Zane can sacrifice 50% of his shields to have his next shot deal 100% bonus cryo damage by holding F.

All-Rounder: Fine as is. Only thing I would add: whenever Zane melees an enemy, his shields are drained by 50% and his sliding augment is added to the melee attack.

Deterrence Field: Fine as is. But! I would add: whenever Zane sprints into an enemy, his shields are drained by 50% and slam augment is activated.

THAT WAY we can have both slam/sliding relics actually DO SOMETHING. because my god they’re so useless rn.

alright, moving on.

Hitman

Tier 1: is okay. nobody ever takes cold bore. ever.

Violent Speed: fine as is, but we’re taking it back to pre-release values. Max: 30%. can stack 2x.

Cold Bore: Zane gains (max) 20% bonus cryo damage to all shots fired while moving.

Violent Momentum: fine as is, but taking it back to pre-release values. 30% gun damage at default walk speed. Additionally, Zane can now shoot while sprinting.

Tier 2: my boy zoomer needs more fun.

Cool Hand: fine as it is. I would buff his base reload speed up to 20% and kill skill reload to 20% as well. 17 and 13 are such weird numbers.

Drone Delivery: fine as it is. Additionally, Zoomer’s base shots now take on the element of Zane’s grenade mod.

Salvation: fine as it is. I won’t mess with this bc life steal is messy business (coughs in grog)

Tier 3: hhhynf.fdsg. 

Death Follows Close: Kill Skill Bonus: +30%. Kill Skill Time: +7s. Additionally, enemies targeted by Zoomer take 5% more damage from Zane.

Tier 4: these two skills are actually p dope by themselves. it can stay as it is. I would MAYBE increase the violent violence max buff up to 20% but that’s just me.

Tier 5: ahahahaha. this skill. just remember, we’re pretending Seein’ Dead doesn’t exist, so imagine how this skill looks next to calm cool n collected. so pointless.

Good Misfortune: Killing an enemy with a critical hit adds (max) 10% efficiency to Zane’s kill skills for 8s. This does not stack.

Tier 6: WE’RE GONNA MAKE YOU RELEVANT AGAIN BOO HANG IN THERE

Seein’ Red: Zane has a (4%) chance to activate his kill skills upon dealing gun damage to an enemy. Additionally, enemies targeted by Zoomer now take 15% more damage from Zane.

so why didn’t we make good misfortune the infinite action skill build?? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT CCnC IS SUPPOSED TO DO!!! why have 2 skills that do the exact same thing AT THE EXACT SAME TIER except ONE IS OBJECTIVELY WORSE!!!!!

what happens to the Seein’ Dead class mod if we’re giving its perk to this capstone? I’m so glad you asked. “Zane activates his kill skills when activating his action skills. Additionally, the kill skills activated this way have 15% more efficiency”. look how much better balanced that is!!!! that’s a class mod!!!!!!!!

Augments: these aren’t THAT bad, but they could be a lot better.

Winter’s Drone: Zoomer gains 20% bonus cryo damage to all shots.

Bad Dose: pump these numbers up. Fire Rate: +7% per affected enemy. Movement Speed: +10% per enemy. everything else is fine.

Boomsday: just make this more beefy. fr. It’d be a good choice if it were stronger.

Static Field: also fine. I would again give it better damage output, but that’s just me.

Almighty Ordnance: remove the build up honestly. Like i get the vibe and it’s really cool, but in combat it just DOESN’T WORK. maybe if Zoomer is targeting an enemy, he will unleash the missiles if they are above 50% health after 30s or something. I honestly think these should have a debuffing factor instead of a damage factor (you know, to not get in the way of boomsday). maybe something around 15%? the 1x per action skill activation thing would be easily subverted with CCnC with the changes we suggested, so it could work. 

Doubled Agent

ahhh, Blane. Blue Zane. Love ya, buddy. One change: he prioritizes pinged targets. That way you can kinda get him to fight specific people. Also, lower the teleportation timer. pls.

Tier 1: actually p good. could be better, but its not bad.

Synchronicity: Zane gains 20% bonus damage per active action skill. While Zane has an action skill active, he gains a stack of Synchronicity. Max Stacks: 10. For each stack of Synchronicity, Zane gains 5% Action Skill Cooldown Rate and 2% Action Skill Damage.

Praemunitus: Zane and his digiclone gain (max) 30% magazine size.

Borrowed Time: For each action skill active, Zane gains 30% action skill duration. The longer Zane’s action skills are active, he and Blane gain a higher Fire Rate and faster Reload Speed, up to 20%. (the idea is you choose between this or synchronicity bc... either permanent action skills build or fast paced action skills build)

Tier 2: Donnybrook is fun. Fractal Frags is fun. Duct tape mod is a GODDAMN DISAPPOINTMENT

Donnybrook: fine as it is. I might buff the max numbers up to 20% gun damage and 3% health regen. But that’s really it.

Fractal Frags: Blane will periodically toss a grenade from Zane’s stockpile at his targeted enemy (cooldown: 20s). Kill Skill: Blane has a 45% chance to throw a free grenade.

Duct Tape Mod: this skill... why... No cooldown. NONE. Zane has a 1% chance to also fire a grenade from his gun. Kill Skill: This is increased to 15% for 8s (stays at 1% for the whole time, but the kill skill will increase by 3% for each tier)

Tier 3: Actually Quick Breather is one of my favorite skills. this can stay.

Quick Breather: Same as is. Additionally, Zane and his clone gain 25% Gun Damage after swapping places for a short time (8s).  I really wanna promote swapping places. It’s really underutilized. they’ve ADDED stuff to this skill already!!! even tho it didn’t work until the next patch. BUT THEY SHOW ITS POSSIBLE TO ADD TO SKILLS!!!

Tier 4: actually a really good tier. a few minor changes. 

Pocket Full of Grenades: Kill Skill: Zane gains (max) 15% grenade regeneration for 8s. If Zane’s grenades are full, any excess grenades are shot from his gun with 25% bonus damage.

Old-U: If Zane falls into FFYL while his digiclone is active, he can press the action skill activation key to destroy his clone and gain a second wind. When he does this, he takes the place of his clone. His clone will also drop a grenade when it is destroyed.

Supersonic Man: Zane gains increased movement speed for each active action skill: (max) 15% each. Additionally, teleportation is considered to be Zane’s maximum speed for its duration and 5s after. 

Tier 5: oh god oh fuck oh god.

Like a Ghost: Oh god why. Zane and his digiclone gain a (max) 15% chance to ignore all damage while teleporting and for 7s after.

Boom. Enhance: actually a pretty swell skill. I would probably add Health Regen +3% per grenade tho. Blane needs help a lot.

Trick of the Light: bring back the shock damage. Zane deals 40% bonus shock damage for 7s after swapping places with his clone.

Tier 6: oh ngl I actually love this capstone lol

Double Barrel: Zane’s digiclone gains a copy of Zane’s current gun when it is deployed (and all the anointments work and he actually fires it like a reasonable person). Zane’s clone now deals damage equal to Zane’s base weapon damage. Upon swapping places, both Zane and his digiclone deal 50% bonus damage for 7s.

Augments: 

Binary System: is okay. Kinda uhhh underwhelming tho. Buff up the damage and also maybe reduce teleportation time.

Schadenfreude: I like this one a lot. Zane’s shield is restored by 100% of the damage his digiclone takes and vice versa.

Dopplebanger: lower the waiting time. I get that u don’t wanna override the teleportation, but it’s really annoying. Buff damage and don’t make it dependent on action skill duration. If this explosion kills an enemy, the clone is reactivated with 50% action skill duration.

Which One’s Real?: I’ve never actually felt this work. Maybe for like 2 seconds? Make it work more like Zer0′s hologram or Timmy’s Jack clones or smth. Maybe give an activation cue? im v lost with this one. Enemies targeting Zane take 30% more damage from the digiclone.

Digital Distribution: 75% of the health damage Zane takes is distributed to his clone instead. The digiclone gains 5% Health Regeneration/s and sends out 3 [level specific damage] shock spikes to enemies that attack it. 

literally all Zane needs is SYNERGY. if they can change a few skills, pump up a few numbers, and ffs fix the seein’ red/dead capstone/mod, they’d be in FUCKIN BUSINESS

but no instead

THEY LOCKED THE BUFF BEHIND A PAYWALL.

WHYYYYYY