#in general when i say i don't want to hear other people's opinions on something i'm joking

[hrnngsoup]

Oh maaan. Oh man this is anti-honey vegan levels of ignorant. Look yeah it's gonna be unpopular opinions, and I am NOT saying there are no abusive-towards-dogs cops out there, but no, k9 forces are not generally abusive.

Here's some facts:

K9 units serve much more jobs than just take-downs. Ever had a recently missing kid? A good police force will call on a k9 unit, which you can give them a piece of fabric or toy to sniff, and then that good doggo will track that kid down. Many, MANY children, seniors, and other people who are lost with mental disabilities have been sucessfully found this way.

Another job they do? Drug sniffing. And yes, I know there have been nasty rumours about cops just training a dog to Mark on a person's bag on command, but besides the trash cops that exist, the drug sniffing training is ACTUALLY very specific and fun for the dogs. I've seen a lot of people over at twitter say they are good at fact checking, feel free to fact check what I just said with unbiased sources.

Most K9's are not just murked when they are retired. This was another rumour. A lot of them are retire with their owners, who form deep personal bonds with them, or are adopted out, in the case of the officer not being able to take care of them... like when the officer has died. The only exceptions are when k9's unfortunately develop the common health problems that german shepherds as a breed are privy to, and their quality of life massively decreases.

K9's are not just "stored" at a precinct in crates or something. They go home with their officers most of the time with only a few job-related exceptions.

It's not actually true that every person who gets taken down by a canine are maimed. Most of the time, it's "hold/release", which still needs stitches, but not even near a maim. but I guess these very common events aren't really covered in media much because they are less sensational....

Calling k9 units on anyone who is not actively fleeing a crime and/or armed is not a thing that happens often. That's a huge waste of money, time, and what, do you think they start off arrests with a k9 unit? No! (Exceptions: when someone has felonies on their record, has been known to be aggressive in past arrests/chases, or have commited grand theft auto)

While this one is only anecdotal, I have never with my own two eyes seen a unit abuse their dog. I have seen many of them baby talk the shit out of their doggos or give them probably too many treats, and well, if you want to see that, I recommend police cam vids. One of my relatives which was a k9 unit absolutely adored her k9, Duke, and she had him for many years after they retired- and Duke was happy and healthy until he passed naturally. A lot of people don't realize that if a k9 unit abused or hurt their dogs, and the other cops saw.... they would be considered the shit under their shoe for the whole precinct.

Now let's talk about why they're necessary in a healthy police force

Ever hear of the terms meth heads, crackheads, etc? These groups of people, if they decide to do crime, are INCREDIBLY dangerous. Drugs of a certain hardcore variety LITERALLY change your brain composition. These are the kind of people that can, and will, run out naked with two steak knives and try to stab anyone around them "because they looked at me funny"... if they are even capable of reason and clear speech in a drug-induced rage. Many do not even feel pain at this stage. There are two ways to stop someone in this state. Gunfire. Or a k9 unit. The good thing about using a k9 is that they are fast, much faster than humans- and that helps reduce the amount of injuries and deaths that occur when something goes wrong.

Humans are instinctually wired to be afraid of dogs. A lot of violence from... really, anyone, is severely diminished when even the threat of a k9 unit being called happens, and when you're facing someone who's weilding a machete, that fricking means something.

Look. I can understand being incensed at anyone who does treat their dogs badly. I am too. But you have to inform yourself on what the facts are, and everything I have said is factual unless someone can prove me wrong which, okay, then i will retract what someone proved me wrong about.

Banning a very important, very life-saving part of a healthy police force is a BAD idea. Note i said healthy police force... there are a lot of UNHEALTHY, CORRUPT police forces that needs from the bottom up reform.

All banning k9 units will do is increase crime and the collateral damage from it, make us lose non-take down services they provide which is VERY important to missing persons cases... and probably increase the amount of german shepherds put down in shelters, ultimately doing much more harm than good.

All k9 dogs are abused hands down if you post any pro k9 stuff on my dash you’re unfollowed I don’t care if we’ve been mutuals for years, you can claim to be anti-cop or a leftist or whatever but if you post k9 dogs with like “a good doggo! A good boy!” fuck off, if I lose followers over this then good riddance

[tyrannuspitch]

Hi! I'm really enjoying your Sherlock posts and I keep wanting to react to them, but I have actually no idea if you're open to that. so my question is: is this topic something you like to post about but not interact over, or would that be something you welcome? I hope you have a lovely day!

oh yeah feel free! when i say i'm avoiding the fandom for now, i mean that i'm not seeking out fanworks, not that i'm trying to totally isolate myself from anyone else who's seen the show. conversation is very welcome ^_^

[astrosamara]

Moon Sign Observations

Observations from a Pisces Moon :) All these opinions come from my own personal experiences with the different moon signs, so it might not apply to everyone. Various aspects to the moon and house placement can also change interpretation and expression of that moon sign.

Aries ☾

They hate wasting time. When they make their mind up on something, they don't like to sit around and contemplate on it, they want to go after it right away. Super action oriented. I love being around Aries moon's, even if our energy levels can be quite incompatible. I've also seen so many Aries moons that stand up against bullying and root for the underdogs. They can be great in leadership positions. Even with their competitive nature, I feel like they're the moon signs who want to see everyone win, especially the people that they love.

Taurus ☾

I haven't met many Taurus moon's, the one's I have met though always seem to be super big on luxury items and comfort. They can live beyond their means sometimes because they just want to have the best of the best. I've noticed this more frequently in younger Taurus moons though. Very beautiful people who seem to always look good without trying hard and can have a very strong interest in beauty and fashion. They can also be SUPER stubborn over their opinions and can be pretty closed off to hearing what other people have to say.

Gemini ☾

Deeply fascinating minds. It's hard to pin Gemini moons down and they tend to live a double life. You can think you're really close to a Gemini moon, but there can be so much about them you still don't know. Excellent communicators that tend to be lighthearted and funny in conversations. They think deeply about life and I know many Gemini moon's that are insomniacs because they have a hard time shutting down their busy minds. They also tend to have a wide variety of interests and are incredibly smart in any area they apply themselves in. Incredibly analytical and perceptive.

Cancer ☾

I feel like I've met more Cancer moons than any other moon sign. They just appear to be everywhere in my life lol. Very caring and sensitive people. A lot of them wear their heart on their sleeves. They tend to be the mother friend of their friend groups and this sensitive energy can often be taken advantage of by people who only want to use them as their therapist. I've also noticed many people tend to baby Cancer moons and don't hold them accountable for some of their more toxic behaviors. They also have an energy about them that makes people feel safe and comfortable around them almost instantly. Strangers will just start telling them their life story and want to open up to them.

Leo ☾

Leo moons are LOUD, especially when they're comfortable. They also tend to have a very lively and radiant aura to them. Unfortunately, I know a lot of Leo moons that can be a little too self involved to the point that they're uninterested in the people around them. They love having attention on themselves and can become upset if they feel like they don't have that attention. They like to put on a show with their emotions and express themselves in a theatrical manner. I wish I had more positive experiences with Leo placements in general, but I haven't tbh. I will say though that I love how open and expressive they are with their love towards others. Rarely are they emotionally cold and distant, which is refreshing to be around.

Virgo ☾

HUGE worriers. Feeling like they need to be perfect in order to be accepted by themselves and by others. Can stress themselves out to the point of sickness. Underdeveloped Virgo placements in general tend to have very fragile egos and crave external validation to an unhealthy extent. They can struggle with intrinsic motivation, because they don't see the point of doing something unless they're rewarded or praised. I haven't met very many Virgo moons in my life, mostly Virgo suns, but I feel like this would be one of the more challenging moon placements to have. Frequent overthinking and anxiety, similar to that of a Gemini moon. I feel like Virgo's are much more hard on themselves though than Gemini's.

Libra ☾

Super charming and flirty people. They crave beauty, peace, and harmony in their lives. They tend to have a natural way with people and can have many friends throughout their lives. Libra moons are just very friendly and polite people overall. I've found that Libra tends to be more happy in the moon than in the sun, which is why Libra moons can have stronger positive Libra qualities. Similar to Taurus moons, they tend to be very beautiful people with a strong interest in beauty and fashion. Unlike Taurus moons though, Libra moons have a strong disinterest in conflict and fighting. Due to their strong desire to keep the peace, they can probably easily fall into habits of people pleasing and not speaking up for themselves.

Scorpio ☾

I'm in love with Scorpio moons. Incredibly emotionally intelligent and aware individuals. They go through a lot of dark shit in their lives, but they really know how to grow from their pain and transform with it. I've never met a Scorpio moon that didn't have this intense and magnetic presence to them. I've found them to be much more intense than Scorpio suns (being one myself) because this tends to be a really challenging moon placement to have. They have a very dark and deep inner world and they grow accustomed to carrying a lot of pain with them in their daily lives. There's also a very painful and strong desire for intimacy and to feel deeply understood that could stem from a difficult childhood. They have a strong disinterest in superficiality and their intuition guides them heavily throughout their life. If you meet a Scorpio moon that is emotionally healthy and healed, they probably went through hell to get to that place of contentment in their life.

Sagittarius ☾

Super funny people. Being a Jupiter ruled moon sign, they have very expansive and limitless minds, which they have in common with Pisces moons. Freedom to express themselves and their individuality is super important for them. Usually a very strong connection to spirituality and a strong interest in learning about other cultures through traveling. I've found that with many Sagittarius moons, people really want to listen to them and hear what they have to say. People see them as a wise guru. They also have a tendency to struggle with commitment and being tied down to anything or anyone (I've found this to be more true for people with heavy mutable energy in their charts overall).

Capricorn ☾

I've rarely met a Capricorn moon that I didn't like. Very loving people that like to take care of the people closest to them. They can struggle pretty intensely, especially younger people with this placement, with a fear of failure and never reaching their full potential. They can have this innate sense of responsibility and structure as a connection to their emotional fulfillment. Capricorn isn't happy in this moon sign, so emotions can be quite challenging for them to navigate. Even though they don't like expressing their emotions openly, when they do, they can express it in a very beautiful and poetic way. There's a lot of singers with this moon placement that have songs with deeply emotional and impactful lyrics.

Aquarius ☾

Aquarius moon's often get described as emotionless or cold, but they actually feel quite deeply. The problem is they intellectualize their emotions more than they actually feel them. I've also noticed they can shut down or feel distant and uncomfortable when they witness other people be emotional around them. This is a moon placement I truly feel for. They can feel incredibly different from the people around them and their feelings can frequently be misunderstood by others. A lot of deep emotional loneliness with this moon sign. I've noticed this to be a common "black sheep" placement, more so than with other Aquarius placements. They have very beautiful and unique souls with a strong interest in bettering society. Very humanitarian.

Pisces ☾

Pisces moon's tend to have strong connections to their grandparents from a young age, or older people in general. They also tend to be into grandma or grandpa activities because they feel like such an old soul lol. Might feel a disconnect from their generation and modern trends. I've noticed many Pisces moon's have these dreamy and sparkling eyes that appear to be filled with magic. They tend to have a very powerful connection to music and they're the type to just be huge music lovers in general, connecting to the vibes of music overall, instead of having a specific genre they listen to. Can be heavily addicted to isolation as a coping mechanism when life gets too overwhelming. Reality can feel very limiting and restrictive for them, which is why I think it's so important for Pisces moon's to have creative and fulfilling outlets (especially during this Saturn in Pisces transit that has definitely been testing them. I know it has for me lol).

[collaredkittyboy]

Well it's come up multiple times today so I'll make a post about it.

I think the popularization of the word "twink" has ultimately been really bad for people in general.

I know it's hard to track the positive and negative effects of language but I don't think it's hard to see how creating a word for a group of people wherein the most consistent qualifying trait is "being skinny" is healthy for people's self image. Obviously people have lots of ideas about what it means to be a twink- gay, lacking body hair, feminine, beautiful, young, white- but the most consistent descriptor I've seen is "skinny." Hell, it's even a body type on Grindr; the size below "average."

So it kind of functions as a code word in the gay community: anyone can say that they're only interested in twinks and they don't have to look shallow by saying they only like skinny guys. It's such an accepted attitude that no one really bats an eye when they hear it.

I'm not even going to get into how it's become part of the larger issue of people turning "top" and "bottom" into gender roles 2.0, but that is closely related, because people with any internalized homophobia can look at a skinny, feminine man and turn off their fag alarms by viewing him as a woman or not a "real" man, and it makes twinks more acceptable to society at large.

No, ignoring all of that, one of the biggest issues is that gay men are taught by society that they are only attractive while they are skinny. Just having the label "twink" reminds a boy that people are looking at his body and judging it. There were countless times when I was growing up that people would tell me, "You're such a twink," or argue about whether or not I qualified as a twink because I had body hair. People around you, unpromted, judge your body and give you a label based on it, and that label has a large influence on whether or not you're seen as objectively attractive. I know many other gay people who say they wish they were a twink so they could be more attractive to guys.

So think, you have all these kids growing up being told whether or not they qualify as a twink, and then we have the gay community as a whole where it's completely acceptable to say you're only attracted to twinks. I think its because of all of this pressure to be a twink (in other words, to have a below average weight) that many of the gay people that I interact with struggle with a negative body image or eating disorders.

I mean, people talk about "twink death" like it's an actual event that makes a gay man much less attractive, and no one thinks that, maybe, it's harmful to tell a guy that the very day he stops being young and thin and pretty, he will stop being attractive and celebrated?

I'm not qualified to speak on fatphobia in physical queer spaces because I don't have the ability to frequent them where I live, but I can't imagine that these aren't issues at social gatherings as well. I also can't speak on my own experiences with weight discrimination because so far in my life I have had a naturally thin body, but I have experienced a lot of outside pressure to be thin that have caused me to pick up unhealthy eating habits to reduce my weight in fear that I could become fat later on. Thankfully that is something that I've mostly been able to work past. I'm not an expert, but idk, I just wanted to rant on my silly tumblr blog.

Obviously it's impossible for a word to be inherently bad. I'm not trying to imply that saying "twink" is a magic word with evil powers. Obviously the real issues at play here are fatphobia and harmful beauty standards and body shaming. But in my opinion, the popular use of the word twink has made it much easier and acceptable to express fatphobia, etc, in the gay community by turning "skinny person" into a "type of guy that you should try to be so you can be attractive."

[tinyfantasminha]

I don't want to keep clogging my blog with vent posts but uh... I guess this is a more general concern/observation

But it's getting real hard to stay motivated in fandom spaces when there's little compensation, and annoying occurrences are more frequent than good ones.

Mainly there's been less engagement/people showing interest in creators and their art (such as sending asks, making comments and reblogging with tags) and MORE parasocial interactions. This goes for both artists and writers.

Over this year I've noticed a vast disinterest within my public in general. Asks about ocs, my art, or just nice simple comments of ''I love your art'' has been getting more and more scarce. My follower number is bigger than 2-3 years ago sure and I get more likes on my posts but they are feeling more like just numbers and statistics than actual people who supposedly like my stuff.

And while people being parasocial with creators has always been a thing, I feel like it's gotten way worse... in general? People sending personal pictures out of the blue in hopes of being validated, unwanted psychological advice or assumptions about the creator without any established connection first ( <- these happened to me in the same week.) ventdump, just insensitive/lacking of common sense comments in general, unreasonable demands (mostly with writers)... I wondered at first if it was just me, but a handful of mutuals/acquaintances who are artists and writers seems to be going through it as well.

It's annoying. It's tough. It's getting exhausting. Creators pour so much of themselves into their work—countless hours, effort, and passion, all to share something meaningful or entertaining with others (and for FREE) The LEAST anyone can do is show respect, even if opinions differ. When a writer posts a fanfic, don't just say ''omg post next chapter!'', when an artist posts a drawing of their favorite character, don't just say ''omg draw (character) next!'' as if they're faceless content machines that are expected to churn out more '''content''' for you without acknowledgment, encouragement, or appreciation.

''I want to support creators but I don't know what to say and I feel intimidated by their talent so I just lurk silently :((('' I swear to you, no creator (at least not the majority) is making up an intimidating persona to discourage you from interacting with them. They WANT your comments. A single ''I love your art/writing/videos'' or even something as silly as ''I want to eat your art'' is enough to keep a creator sighing dreamily for WEEKS. It doesn't have to be deep! It's heartfelt and that's what it matters!! (Just remember to keep it relevant and thoughtful... It takes just a bit of common sense NOT to comment things like ''this looks like (another character)'' or ''this but with (another unrelated ship/character/show)''. No one wants to hear comparisons or unrelated ideas when they’ve poured their soul into something.)

In fact, the ''I like your art but I think you're intimidating'' feels more hurtful than flattering. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, acting wrong. 💀

If you love that fanfic that changed your brain psyche forever and want to gush about it, go tell the writer. If you loved so much a piece of art that you saved it a million times in your phone and can't stop thinking about it, go tell the artist. Push away the ''they probably won't care about my comment/it won't make a difference'' thoughts. DO IT NOW. You won't know when they might go inactive forever or deactivate. You can't know if that is the last piece they will ever post. Make sure you show appreciation to creators NOW, while they are still here. While they're still not being replaced by AI.

[tornioduva]

Dungeon meshi and body proportions

Ok, i'm feeling the rush i got from binging the manga this last week is starting to fade away, i'll be back to being a normal person soon i think. at least, that is before i find a new something for me to dive into uhuh.

Before that happens, i want to praise Ryoko Kui for one last think. The design of the characters!

For years i've expressed (maybe not so much online) my hate towards the "anime style", this homogenization of traits and beauty standards to an artificial degree, and the mass spread and consumption of it. yes, trends exist for a reason, this is not the first nor the last art current to be popular and i'm not the first detractor of one in history. I do think there is something uniquely harmful in this one though, and that is why i'm able to find the energy to be such a pretentious dipshit about it. That is a discussion for another day though.

All this to say that going through Dungeon Meshi and seiing these characters, plus (and in a way because of it) all the additional sketches of the daydream hour bonus sections, was such a breath of fresh air! (at least for what concerns japanese exported stories)

All i could say and praise in regard to character designs in general is perfectly expressed in this video, which i recommend you to watch if you want to hear my opinions (and the video author's too, uhuh):

I want to leave you though with at least one specific praise for me: Falin.

i've seen countless time people (online) just not understanding how people's body work, how much differences there can be and how proportions do distribute and affect the body. in anime I see a lot of short and tall people (mostly women girls) that share the same proportions despite their actual height, and that often leads to think "yeah, she is short" and than she's tall when around someone, or (most often) the contrary. same lenght of limbs, same head to body proportions, and little details like this.

Falin you can tell at a glance she is a tall woman before she's around anyone, even when she is standing near her brother who is taller than her.

Kui did her homework in studying bodies and variations, and, whether consciously or not, she differentiated her in body in subtle but fundamental ways: her head being slightly smaller than her body, the neck being fairly long, and her having somewhat broader shoulders.

I accept that there might be an element of suggestion at play here, considering also how she is dressed most of the time, but I really do think there is a direct effort at differentiation here.

This is the first time in a long time (in a series like this at least) where i've seen a woman carrying herself around others and the space around here kind of like a person like me, tall, would; at first i didn't think much of it, but then i saw her near other characters and....i don't know, i felt a warm, joyful feeling, seeing that i was right in recognizing that trait and being right.

I was especially happy in seeing her next to marcille. not so much for the height difference, but for how different they were in proportions and mannerism. A lesser manga i fear would have used marcille's body type and way of moving and interacting as the default for most other girls, but here she was uniquely herself!

Now, i could've used more extreme exemples to show how this author rocks in body types representations (while aknowledging there could've been even more diversification still), given there are far larger, taller and stranger women, but to me, nailing the little, most subtle details in such a chirurgical manner shows a greater level of mastery and comprehension. As such, Falin left me with a deeper fascination than most other characters.

Sorry for this wall of text, but i needed to let my happy thoughts go, so that i could be free again uhuh.

Feel free to tell me that i'm wrong, or that i should just accept anime media as is. i'm just really happy Dungeon meshi exists as is and i want Ryoko Kui to keep refining her craft, and drawing beautiful women and dwarves.

Plus, this was very much a stream of consciousness, i didn't go into technical details about what i think conveyed what i described, but if someone is interested, or does not get what i'm saying (while expressing it in a curious and gentle way, i won't respond to spiteful assholes), i'll be happy to make a follow up post in which i try to dissect this! For example, i didn't reread the whole manga to find examples of her, i just went to the wiki uhuh. in a follow up post maybe i'll try to go through chapters and pick more specific examples of her.

Anyway, have a good day!

[seekingflowers]

Future Husband Pick a Card (1-3)

I'm sure you all know how it works! Just relax and let your intuition guide you to choose your pile 🌕. Take what resonates and leave the rest. I am very honest and will not sugar coat what I see. Please don't hesitate to tell me what resonated with you! I welcome all to interact 🤝

Hello everyone! Welcome to my tarot blog. This is my first post ever, and a pick a card reading (1, 2, 3- cards) 🥰😍🥀

Pile 1:

Page of Wands

- First and foremost, it COULD indicate he's younger- if not, he may seem younger with his demeanor. More than likely, he may have approached you first. He'll be the first you one hear when you walk into a room.

In the beginning stages, this person will feel like a breath of fresh air. They are lively and outgoing. Always inviting you to join them on outings with friends or see and experience new places.

They are very social and ready to be on the go-go go. If you're not, it doesn't matter. They'll go because they're ready. Decisive and quick. However, it may not always be thought out. This person tends to be optimistic and may seem naive, but do not berate them. Sharp and witty, they stand their ground. They do not like to be held back and smothered. They seek fun and spontaneity, keep them on their toes. At times, you may feel like this man flakes out on you because he is so quick to do other things or entertain himself with others. He may forget things easily, such as planned dates or activities, anniversaries, or make sudden changes.

Their curiosity and openess will show you how to appreciate the moment and accept changes. It's okay to experience new things. If something is wrong, they will confront you, and they will expect the same from you. Be open and honest, and communicate with patience. They're not afraid to voice their opinion and say it how they see it. Friends and family love and adore their presence, which brings warmth and laughs all around.

Please remember, we all change with time, and some things may remain, but nothing lasts forever. Take what resonates and leave the rest.

Pile 2:

King of Wands Reversed.

- He's definitely the one to approach you. Could be someone older or someone in an authority position.

This man may appear aggressive, often displaying signs of frustration or impatience. Can be very controlling and dominant overall. He has natural charisma and a fiery intellect, making it difficult to get a word in with him. Stubborn and hot-headed, he will likely dislike opposing views or opinions. People's views of him are black and white. Few understand him. There could be a problem with respecting those above him or taking consideration from others in general. There are few to maybe none that he cares for, but if he does care, he is fiercely protective over them and will come to their side to defend them. Even blindly.

About action, he's the one to get it done and have a go get it now attitude. Either do it or don't. Prone to impulsiveness and hypocrisy, his actions may bring upon consequences he isn't ready to handle and will break down in a tantrum.

Not afraid to approach others, he is relentless with his pursuits. On the good days, his humor and smiles are a sight to see and hear. Captivating and charming, people are drawn to him or are intimidated by him. His humor isn't everyone's cup of tea. It may be crude.

Highly competitive, spats between him and others are frequent. He hates losing and hates being wrong.

To be with this man, thick skin is needed along with groundedness. With you, he can be very loving, but ill tempered and stubborn.

He's very likely a traditional man who wants a traditional wife and family with him as head of the household. Although earlier in life, he may have had a desire of the opposite for the short term.

Please note that the future is not set in stone. Take what resonates and leave the rest.

Pile 3:

Ace of Cups

- This man off the bat is an emotionally intuitive man. More likely to be reserved with his words, but expressive with his love and affections. Expressive eyes with intent prying into your soul. He enjoys private moments with you and goes out of his way to get you alone. It may seem unintentional, but it's not. It may be a love at first sight, or rather, when they fall in love- they fall hard.

There could be this feeling of a deep connection between the two of you that feels familiar yet so foreign. However, do not drown with the feeling. Learn to swim with it, or it will create false imaginations of the other person. You open up this person's inner world, and they want to pour into your cup endlessly. Sometimes, feelings can become intense, and a struggle to sort through emotions with each other can be difficult. Therefore, there can be spurts of emotional outbursts. Clear communication is very important with this man.

Being one to love deeply, he can hold a grudge and keep score of what wrong he thinks you've done to him. He might think he loves you more than you love him. This man wants you to be open with your love and reciprocate his feelings with the same intensity. When you are in an emotional frenzy from work or a bad day, he's the one to comfort and feel you. He'd go out of his way to make you feel better. If he can't, he will beat himself up for it. People close to him are few, even if it seems like there is a whole crowd around him. He's the go-to therapist or listener for folks, and it may get to him from time to time, so please allow him some space when needed.

Some days, he may seem hot and cold, but that's just likely because he isn't feeling anything that particular day or hour. Or he is in his head thinking about anything. As all humans do.

Love each other truly and not just love itself. It is easy to get lost in love and forget the person. Take what resonates and leave the rest.

Please remember, take what resonates, and leave the rest. One card does not describe everything about a person, and it is not the end all be all. Nothing is set in stone. People change - we all change.

Once again, please let me know what resonates and tell me what'd you like to see from me. 💫

[delululand]

enhypen (hyung line) in a relationship. astrological analysis (+ nsfw too)

astrology only shows the propensity for something and a lot depends on upbringing, influence of environment, cultural peculiarities of the country where a person grew up and other things.

p.s. since members have the same placement, some points can be repeated or written by one member with a connection to another member

heeseung

his venus is in virgo, which makes him practical and rational. such people can appreciate order, methodicality and structurality in life and in relationships. usually they are not inclined to show strong emotions, but at the same time they can be very attached to their partners. and we remember that at school heeseung liked one girl for 3 years, which indicates stability and affection even at a young age. and we don't know the exact time of his birth yet, so I can assume that his moon is also in virgo. he has many earthly positions in the natal chart and this once again emphasizes stability and rationality. sometimes these people can have a slightly inflated and idealized image of their partner and when they face reality it can be disappointing for them. this is just one possibility, but he liked a girl for 3 years and they only dated for 3 months. we don't know why this happened and of course it is worth considering that he was young and literally still was in school, but loving someone from a distance is much easier than building a relationship with a real person. so he may be a man who looks long before starting a relationship but may quickly become disillusioned once the relationship begins but if he does find the one, he will be very caring and loyal. actually when i think about his potential girlfriend, i come up with a slightly stereotypes image of the that girl who gets up early in the morning, does meditation, writes a plan for the day and necessarily follows him, monitors nutrition and all that which he could admire and achieve goals together

nsfw

• he is moon in virgo and he’ll literally monitors your every reaction to understand exactly what you like and what you don't like, to give you pleasure and see how you finish this is his biggest motivation

• moon in virgo really wants to hear praise from how well they did in bed otherwise they may be overthinking about it. so yeah hi praise kink

• people with earthly placement in mars/venus/moon (in his case venus in virgo) often tend to be the most generous in bed, they're all about providing his partner

• capricorn mars is all about that BDSM

jay

his venus is a taurus and this indicates a propensity for material security and comfort. he is a real hedonist, people with venus in taurus really love a good life and everything connected with it, such as buying beautiful things, delicious food, luxury and fashion (and actually sex ofс too, but more on that later). and we see these appearances very vividly in his personality. he loves to cook well, he is very interested in fashion, perfume and he even said that he would like to create his own clothing brand one day. when jungwon was asked about how jay would like it, he said that through cooking food and when he was asked about jay's dating style, he replied food and going to a restaurant. soooo taurus venus. he is quite a rational and reasonable person, but this does not concern his partner. he would complitely spoil his girlfriend. he would spare no effort, time and money to show his girlfriend the best places with the most delicious food and the most beautiful views. venus in taurus is also associated with a love of naturalness and nature, and he mentioned that he sometimes likes to go to quiet places alone, such as a park, and he also chose a place with a beautiful landscape to confess to a person he likes and once said that he likes camping. i often hear the opinion that jay is a cold person and people who say such things are absolutely blind. taurus venus is also responsible for tactility. and firstly, the way he constantly slaps members on the ass, and secondly, how gently he always touches jungwon, he often puts his hands on him, strokes him on the back, lets him sit on his lap and generally allows jungwon to do anything with him. after that i can't even imagine how gentle he will be with his partner. since his time of birth is already known, we know that his moon is in cancer. the key word for moon crayfish in love is connection. it’s extremely important for them that the beloved is not just a lover, but a person who is ready to share all emotional experiences. moon cancer is ready to devote his life to such a person. the moon in cancer gives a man a romantic and passionate temperament. the combination of his venus and the moon makes him an emotionally open and sensitive partner, who can to listen and support, as well as an excellent family man. i will never stop saying that he’s such husband material

nsfw

• venus in taurus would be delighted with beautiful lingerie and creating a sexy atmosphere in the bedroom in general, like candles, rose petals and all that

• venus in taurus may indicate praise kink, but his mars is in gemini + taurus ven makes a person noisy and talkative in bed, so yes, he is the one who will talk a lot about how good you make him feel and will expect the same from a partner (with words or sounds). one of the big turn offs for such people is silence in the bedroom

• and also gemini mars may show a tendency to sexting

• taurus/cancer in venus or mars (and the big 6 in general) will be attracted by a more curvy figure and an hourglass-type figure. BUT in jay's natal chart, venus is in taurus and the moon is in cancer, so the answer to the popular question "is he an ass guy or a boobs guy?" he is BOTH

• venus taurus reaaaally enjoy slow and possessive sex paying more attention and time to foreplay (starting from seduce messages, a elegant date and only then moving to bed with long kisses)

• also, venus in taurus and the moon in cancer indicate that a person doesn’t accept disrespect. he needs his partner to be attentive, caring and appreciate his efforts and pleasure (in the bedroom and out)

• the moon in cancer makes him very passionate in bed but only if he has feelings for you. sometimes he want be taken care of, but usually in combination with his other placement he is very dominate and take the role of care-giver (and not only in bed)

• cancer moon = breeding kink. that's what i'm saying

jake

okay his venus in scorpio and actually i've heard so many different things about it. like you can see a lot of information that people with venus in scorpio are quite manipulative, they don't let anyone get close and can even communicate somewhat coldly/rudely with a person they like, and I even heard somewhere that these are people who find it very difficult (almost impossible) to find and keep true love. but in my opinion, this is a situation where upbringing and environment have influenced in a positive way. i really don't see anything extra manipulative in him or a person who would intentionally hurt his partner. even just watching him with members and especially with maknae, he is a very gentle person and jay and jungwon characterized him as the person who listens best and always helps with any question, even if it's hard for him at this moment. in my opinion venus in scorpio in his case gives such an influence: 1) a person with a riddle, some mystery could really attract him or perhaps something like a forbidden relationship as a relationship in which there is no equivalence of partners, where someone may be higher and someone lower, where someone is strong and someone is weak, where someone poor, and someone rich, where someone is free, and someone is already in a relationship, where someone is kind, and someone is categorically evil. but in a milder manifestation, given that he is an idol, this would be the majority of relationships for him since he would need to hide them and it would absolutely attract him as a game. 2) jealousy? i don’t know, actually he doesn’t give a jealous person a vibe, but we have only seen him with members and maybe he is not jealous of friends, but jealous of a partner. 3) the fear of losing which can be expressed either in excessive attachment and control with which he will strangle his partner or vice versa with some coldness due to the fear of opening up and hurting his feelings

nsfw

• his moon in aries and aries moons love a "right here n right now" kinda sex and tend to be really fond of bold and nonchalant advances

• scorpio venus/mercury has a tendency to degrade kink and jake literally has both so…

• the moon in aries can say that he would be attracted by a very confident and brave girl who could put him in his place. in my opinion, in this case it would be a little softened in life, but more in the bedroom + the point above about degradation… it would be a fucking fiery mix

• libra mars tends to vent stress and negative emotions (especially anger) during sex

• aries moon are the most horny people who is ready always and everywhere

• his mars in libra makes him pretty dominant in bed and he's also likely to be good at dirty talk

• scorpio mercury is sooo good at oral sex

sunghoon

sunghoon as jake has a moon in scorpio and i think for the most part they are similar. however, perhaps sunghoon is a little more inclined to show coldness and indifference towards the person he likes and perhaps a little more inclined to hurt a partner in a relationship with words or actions (not consciously). he's like you know the guy who likes you, but he pretends not to notice you or in extreme cases, if one way or another you have become closer can sometimes tease you (but not much so that you suddenly don't think that he cares!). most likely would have been attracted by someone with tsundere energy. people with the moon in sagittarius are quite freedom-loving, do not like routine and are open to learning something new that can lead to conflicts if a partner treats life differently and would try to lock him in a cage

nsfw

• venus in scorpio and mars in scorpio can indicate dominance in bed and sunghoon has both of these placements so…

• mars in scorpio can behave literally like a sex addict with a person he is in love with

• sunghoon has venus in scorpio as jake, so the degrading kink is also here

• mars in scorpio can make a person a little impatient like the type that goes straight to the point forgetting about any preludes and other types of stimulation

• but also mars in scorpio makes it very resistant and can make go many rounds per night

• with his scorpio placement he would like someone innocent so that he could completely ruin them

p.s. maybe i’ll update it later and add some more and i’ll glad to hear your opinion

[kohabielnin]

Valentine Day Headcanons

I know it took me a while to do this, as classes make it a little difficult for me, this is another gift for someone very special to me, the @kaval0 💕

Norton Campbell

• Incredible as it may seem, he remembered the date and was prepared days before as he saw the children arranging things to give gifts to those they like,

• Everyone in the mansion was surprised when he handed you a flower and chocolates,

• Naib stole some chocolates just to tease Norton, as usual,

• His embarrassed look when he handed you the chocolates was really cute,

• Both Melly, Frederick and Alice wondered if he was actually sick,

• In general, no one in the mansion expected Norton to give you chocolates

Ronald of Ness

• He closed the theater so he could have time with just you,

• I always saw this skin as one of Norton's most romantic skins because he's an actor,

• This man is not very good at cooking, so the one who helped him with everything was Lady Truth,

• He compares you all the time to flowers, especially roses,

• For a whole day, you can wear his hat and mask,

• He called Mr. Inference to boast that he had company on Valentine's Day...

Naib Subedar

• You two ate the chocolates together, it was cute according to witnesses,

• He worked hard to make the chocolates and even harder not to eat them 💕

• Norton played little a with Naib, but he didn't care and ignored Norton,

• He was a little shy when it came to handing over the chocolate, as he had never done it before,

• Eli helped him have the courage to go talk to you and Brooke watched so Naib didn't give up halfway,

• Spending Valentine's Day with him was definitely a lot of fun

Morningstar

• He made his servants make a feast just for you,

• He just loves spoiling you, whether it's a holiday or just a regular day,

• There isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't say he loves you out of fear of losing you,

• He made you a crown similar to his as a gift,

• He himself searched the entire kingdom for the most beautiful rose so he could give it to you,

• In general, Morningstar is a sweet, beautiful, perfect and sweetheart

Orpheus

• This man simply wrote the most romantic poem you've ever seen in your life, along with flowers and chocolate,

• Guess who had a pinky in the middle of one of the letters you received? Exactly, Little Girl,

• You two had a great day together,

• He took the day to listen to you talk about the books you like while giving your opinion about them too,

• He is very good with words, so sometimes he would say something or other to embarrass you, like a compliment in French that he learned from Frederick,

• There was no shortage of tea and cookies in the afternoon for you two

Bonus due to our zap/discord ship in which I am Frederick

Frederick Kreiburg

• Ok... you woke up hearing him playing your favorite song on the piano,

• If you ask him about this, you will only hear: "I feel like playing this song", with an indifferent pose as always,

• On the coffee table, there is a plate with some strawberries covered in chocolate and a handmade letter from him,

• He has a slight difficulty being romantic, but his small acts show that he cares a lot about you,

• He won't mind spending the day playing the piano for you if you wish,

• If you don't want him to spend the day playing the piano for you, he won't mind taking you somewhere relaxing with few people

[glendasguidance]

Pick a Card:

Full Moon in Gemini

how to pick a card and disclaimers

Here are some messages for you this full moon <3

Pile 1 / Pile 2 / Pile 3

spread: Biddy Tarot Full Moon spread and ritual // decks: Rider Waite tarot, Find Your Purpose by Jess Sanders

Pile 1

What have you created and manifested since the new moon? High Priestess - You've finally decided to listen to yourself. Hooray! You've decided it's better to trust yourself and clean up any mistakes you might make, rather than using other people's opinions to make decisions about your life. And you're absolutely right! The world will not crack in 2 when you make a mistake, and you are perfectly capable of righting them when they happen. This is important because it gives your power back to yourself, and people can't take advantage of you. Annnnnd, I got a feeling you've been dealing with some fuck ass bullshit lately. That bullshit will no longer impact you the same way, because you set boundaries. I just want to give you a around of applause for that. It's hard to do, but makes life way easier. You've found peace and confidence. Where are you now? 6 of Pentacles - You're a generous person, and you've been giving back what you've received from the good nature of others. These people you're grateful for could have been online creators or people from your real life. Express your gratitude to them, because what goes around comes around. You're in a great energy for volunteering, so I highly recommend you join a mutual aid group, get more involved in yours, or help start one (no matter how small - a group of 4-5 people supporting each other is stronger than 1!). Whatever kind of help you're inspired to give, give it. Also, read the strawberry chapter of Braiding Sweetgrass. What is coming into your conscious awareness? Ace of Swords - With the peace you now have, you finally have clarity of mind. Anxiety, stress, and worry literally makes us sick. I feel like you had a head injury, or a bad case of brain fog (from hormonal imbalance, long covid, or something else). Sure, you'll start to get new ideas and breakthroughs. But the most exciting part is the feeling like your brain is finally working again! Keep up the meditation, journaling, exercise (make it fun), and good nights sleep - your new neurological results will be able to become your new normal. What is no longer serving you? 3 of Cups Reversed - I got a feeling you've had a lot of awful people around you who say some of the nastiest gossip about you and each other. While I believe you've set boundaries, I don't think you've cut things off. This is just a general reading, trust your judgement before my own. For most people reading this: these people add nothing but misery to your life, they're toxic and poison the good around you. Leave them. Leave the group chat. Report and block them. Their attacks are just DARVO. Grey rock them whenever you have to interact. Giving them nothing will make them eventually leave you alone. Cut. Them. Off. <- If that felt like a relief to hear, do that. If that doesn't feel right to you, then start learning how to set stronger boundaries, and prepare yourself for when you will need to set them. How can you release and let go of those energies? 7 of Pentacles - Journal and reflect on the good times with these people. What made them good? What was fun? What brought you joy? What made you confident? Give thanks to those moments. The moments taught you what to seek in new relationships, as you meet healthy people. Sometimes a healthy person doesn't have the sense of humor you like, or interests, or habits. And that's okay! You can now make a list of what to seek in relationships beyond "trust, honesty, kindness, loyalty" (aka, the bare minimums for any functional relationship). I heard the phrase in my mind "don't let sour fruits spoil what you've gained". I haven't heard that before, but maybe you have? I think it means a couple things. 1.) let the negativity stay in the past, don't bring it in your present 2.) you can remember the lessons without ruminating on your pain 3.) do NOT let these people destroy your new found confidence, peace, and empowerment.

What additional sources are available to you as you let go? Judgement Reversed - YYou're either open to or actively seeking spiritual guidance right now. Make sure you learn about how to protect yourself from cults / high control groups (these can form outside of religion too btw) before you embark on this journey. Trust yourself, and also learn to protect yourself. Anyway, I personally think you'd resonate and connect with someone like Jiddu Krishnamurti. His most famous quote is: In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn, the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself. There are videos of his talks he gave in the 1980's available on YouTube, and he also wrote books.

Quote The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. - Amelia Earhart Affirmation I am unafraid to take action. Journal What is one thing that I can do today that I have been putting off?

🦢 ♥︎ much love - Clarissa Liddy ♥︎ 🦢

if this reading helped you, here's more on what I offer if you'd like to support my work you can buy me a coffee or reblog check out my USA Election Aftercare reading here!

Pile 2

What have you created and manifested since the new moon? Chariot Reversed - You've been "spinning your wheels in the mud" going no where and getting very tired doing it. Out of this frustration, you're forced to stop hyper focusing on the details, and see the forest for the trees. You're now looking at the whole situation, not just the frustrating thing. This is giving you an opportunity to realize solutions to try. The main lesson you've manifested right now is learning you can't force a solution to work. It kinda sucks to learn, but also not really. Now you'll no longer exhaust yourself. Hell yeah! You're not stuck, there's another way. Instead of punishing yourself for what you think are failures, pat yourself on the back for your efforts.

Where are you now? 3 of Wands Reversed - Ultimately, you've been feeling lost, small, and unqualified. But are those facts, or feelings? When you reflect on this, put yourself in the 3rd person. This helps stop shitty beliefs from impacting our reflection. No matter what, you wouldn't have accomplished what you've done if that were true. If there's an area you're weak in, you can learn and strengthen it. This isn't the end, and don't go back to where you came from. Find a mentor, and break down your goals into the tiniest of baby steps possible. In this moment, in this process, you're learning and growing so much.

What is coming into your conscious awareness? 4 of Swords - You're learning that you've been pushing yourself too hard for too long, and you need a good night's sleep. You need deep rest and relaxation. It will clear your mind and help you accomplish your goals. But don't rest for your goals. Rest for you. You need to disengage from the constant music, podcasts, audiobooks, and noise machines. Let go of social media for a while (like, 2 weeks minimum), scrolling is not rest. Pause gaming. Start slow in your restful silence journey. On day 1, sit with yourself, doing nothing for 1 minute. Day 2 = 2 minutes, Day 3 = 3 min. Day 4 could be 4 min or 8 min. Day 10 could be 10 min or 20 min. You'll be shocked at how much this gives you. Don't record yourself in this silence, don't do it for social media. This is your time for you, it's sacred. This practice will help you evaluate how to bring balance into your life, so you can do what you want.

What is no longer serving you? 4 of Cups - You've been ignoring your needs as you ruminate and hyper focus. You need to eat! Go piss girl! Drink water! Take your meds and supplements! Take breaks from your work, it doesn't need your 24hr attention! Stop shutting people out because you feel overwhelmed, it's actually making things worse - you don't have to have long conversations, just send 1 text, send something. Let them know you care, they might be feeling like you don't. Let go of your apathy, disillusionment, and disappointment with the life - you think know everything is bad and awful. All you're basing that off if is what you see - but you see only a fraction of the whole. Learn a new, HEALTHY coping mechanism. Face your responsibilities head on once you let all this go. You'll finally feel momentum and progress. You'll feel more alive, and maybe like you're flying.

How can you release and let go of those energies? Knight of Cups Reversed - Reign your emotions back in from the maladaptive daydreams you keep floating off into. What you're imagining isn't real, but your emotions are, and so are the physiological effects of those emotions. And so are the impacts this has on your life. Escapism is so so addictive, and it's time to learn what healthy daydreaming looks like. You also have a tendency to put very high expectations on the things that you want, and when they don't exist in the way that you hoped, the come-down from that high feels like everything is crashing and burning. Good news is, it's not crashing and burning! It's just not what you imagined. Sometimes a thing being different doesn't mean it's worse or better - it just is. So let it be and give it a chance. I also think you've been guilt tripping yourself over all the things you haven't accomplished yet. That guilt isn't helping you get anywhere, that bitch is your opp. It's okay that you feel guilt (we all do), but like every emotion, we have to let it flow though us. Don't hold onto it because you feel like you need it in order to do better. Punishment never helped anyone grow.

What resources are available to you as you let go? King of Cups Reversed - Look for leaders in the fields of psychology and trauma healing, so you can learn to give yourself compassion as you heal. Dr. Gabor Mate could be very helpful to you. Learn about how to find self help books that are actually helpful. There are a lot of self help scammers out there, so be mindful of that. Also, fuck Better Help. If you're looking for a therapist, or have one already, ask them what they know about Compassionate Inquiry.

Quote Don't give into your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart. - Paulo Coelho Affirmation I listen when my heart guides me. Journal When have I listened to my fears over my heart? What can I learn from those experiences?

🦢 ♥︎ much love - Clarissa Liddy ♥︎ 🦢

if this reading helped you, here's more on what I offer if you'd like to support my work you can buy me a coffee or reblog check out my USA Election Aftercare reading here!

Pile 3

What have you created and manifested since the new moon? 10 of Wands Reversed - You have finally released burdens that are not yours to carry. You now know that you are not the only one who can carry that load (even though you can, it was never your responsibility). The people around you you've been supporting can, and should take care of their responsibilities - it's the only way they're gonna grow. You feel lighter, like a free bird. Exhale and fly. Where are you now? The Devil - Wouldst thou like to live deliciously? asked Black Phillip, and you said Yes! You are indulging in the things you have long denied yourself. You're eating good, having fun, surrounded by luxuries, and having great sex. Be careful not to go too far into your hedonism though. Breaking the bank, accidentally starting a new addiction, avoiding all of your responsibilities, and putting your health at risk aren't fun. Don't let the pendulum swing all the way to the other side just because you finally released the extreme restraint you've been putting on yourself. The opposite side also has a loss of agency (as we see with Thomasin in the VVitch - driven to either die for reasons she didn't cause, or live without a soul, she chose to live. But she doesn't chose to fly in the end, she's pulled into the sky. She can't fly because she doesn't have agency over her life anymore). With your new boundaries, there will always be time for fun. And don't worry that you're putting your needs to the side again when you go back to tending to your responsibilites - they actually let you keep your agency and freedom. Anyway, go back to having fun and defying gravity. What is coming into your conscious awareness? Page of Cups - You're realizing your emotional needs, your inner child, and your sense of silliness and fun. Life is so much better this way. You're new to this, and it'll be a journey to ease into this. Give yourself that chance. Whenever you feel too old to try something, or not cool enough, that's when you gotta triple dog dare yourself into trying it just once. Also, our values don’t have to be burdensome. Some people value hard work, but often times in the way that’s like a punishment because they’ve been conditioned to hate themselves. Having fun is a legitimate value. What is no longer serving you? Strength - You don't have to be strong for others. The only thing you "have" to do is show others how to be strong. Be their teacher. They can't learn if you're doing it for them. Give yourself the gift of inner strength so you can have patience with these people throughout this transition process. Also allow for a little impulsivity in your routines, maybe they don't have to be so strict to achieve the same goal. How can you release and let go of those energies? 6 of Cups Reversed - You've been living in the past, in the sense that you think the beliefs you were taught growing up are universal truths (even if you know they're not, you're operating like they are). They're just what you were taught back then, that's all. Ask in the present moment: what reality are these beliefs creating? Is it the reality you want? Is it a reality that brings you joy, peace, a lightness of spirit, and laughter? If it feels right to, try forgiving those who taught you these beliefs - if it feels harmful to yourself to forgive them, then do radical acceptance instead. And, you don't need to keep revisiting the same painful moments you ruminate on - you already know what's there. Now, go play. I'm serious, go do something silly and fun. We're all gonna die anyway, give life a chance to be fun. Give yourself a chance to be fun.

What resources are available to you as you let go? The World - I don't know if it's because the Wicked soundtrack is so deeply stuck in my head as I write this, but I see a stage. I think you should audition for theater, do a recital, play in a concert, or even just do karaoke. Get on stage, feel the magic of performing, and soak in the applause. I googled a quote because I really wasn't sure if this vision in my head was actually a message for you, or because I wasn't focused. I found this quote is from Shakespeare (the stage imagery makes more sense now): All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts, [...]

Quote Ask yourself what is really important and then have the courage to build your life around your answer. Affirmation I am guided by what I value most. Journal What are my top five values?

🦢 ♥︎ much love - Clarissa Liddy ♥︎ 🦢

if this reading helped you, here's more on what I offer if you'd like to support my work you can buy me a coffee or reblog check out my USA Election Aftercare reading here!

[lachiennearoo]

How to Make Friends

A more-or-less clear guide on social interactions

Growing up with heavy ADHD and generalized anxiety, it was always a bit hard for me to make friends and socialize. Despite my yearning for friendship, I was always "the quiet one" and "a loner", simply because I didn't know how to approach certain social situations, and it made any friendship I had extremely unstable (except for my sister @vive-le-quebec-flouffi, who was so extroverted and friendly it was literally impossible to escape her clutches of socialization)

As I grew older, I learned through a lot of trial and error what makes a good friendship.

Or, rather... what's the best way for someone to WANT to be your friend (without being superficial or hypocritical.)

Now, obviously, this doesn't work for everyone. But this is what I found helped me the most in social circles (especially online) and I hope it can help others too

LET'S BEGIN!

1 - Be yourself

Now that sounds very cliche and cringe, I know, but hear me out, because my opinion on this is not the same as all those feelgood inspirational movies and ads.

"Being yourself" isn't as simple as it seems. Because after all, what does "self" imply? If someone is, say, a criminal, would "be yourself" mean that they should embrace their sinful side?

No, obviously not.

"Be yourself" is a bit more nuanced, but I'll try to boil it down for you.

It just means "be unashamed of your qualities which you think are flaws". For example, "be yourself" would apply to someone who sees themselves as ugly, or maybe someone with an odd yet unharmful hobby, or a weird sense of fashion, or someone with say a handicap, a speech impediment. "Be yourself" is a sentence for the specific people who have genuine good in them, but are afraid to show it to others because they have been persecuted in the past, or are scared to be. It does NOT mean to accept genuine flaws. "Be yourself" does not include say violent anger issues, an addiction, a recent crime committed, or a generally unpleasant personality. Those are obviously not things to encourage. You can understand they may be a thing that happen to you, and accept it in your life, but that's different from being proud of it or encouraging it.

Speaking of personalities... let's talk about that

2 - Be kind

Now when some people hear that, they think it means "always smile no matter what, always look happy and positive, always agree with everyone just so you don't hurt their feelings, and never cause any drama", like you're Deku in My Hero Academia or Steven Universe in his titular show.

But that's... not quite that.

Obviously, kindness is something you use to help people feel better, to cheer up, and feel happy, and obviously to be kind, you need to have compassion, heart, empathy, and always put yourself in other people's shoes regardless of who they are. But it is not necessarily all-encompassing.

There's a rule that I think anyone learning kindness must learn. It's that sometimes, kindness means to be firm.

Not mean, of course. Not judgmental, not insensitive. Don't insult anyone, don't belittle or patronize anyone or make them feel inferior to you. That's still very rude and that's not what you want.

But what I mean is that sometimes, if you know that a person's actions towards something are wrong, especially if it's towards someone else, you must be able to point it out, and act accordingly. Don't just stand there and agree with them just because you don't want to hurt their feelings. You must still be able to know right from wrong. Kindness just means you won't be an ass about it, it doesn't mean to stay silent.

Hey, that brings me to point three!

3 - Show your own opinions

If there's one thing people hate just as much as meanness, it's those who stand by and do nothing about it.

Regardless of if you agree with them or not, if you say absolutely nothing when genuinely bad behaviour is happening, out of fear of "starting a fight", you are actively making the person who is being attacked feel alone.

I remember myself, when I was bullied in the first two grades of secondary school (11-13 years old for those who don't know) for "being ugly", I was told by my mother (who was friends with other kid's parents) that some of the kids "didn't hate me" and "didn't agree with the bullying". And I asked her "if they don't hate me, why won't they talk to me?" She never managed to answer that one. And it broke my heart, because outside of my sister, I had no one else.

Don't be like that. You may be scared of acting, but you know who would be grateful if you did act? The victims. And isn't their opinion of you much more important than the opinion of someone who acts with hatred and bigotry?

If you see someone suffering injustice, or even just hear someone who has a rather harmful opinion, don't be scared to tell them that you disagree. Obviously don't be an asshole about it, stay civil, but if you voice out your opinion, you will be seen as someone who stays true to their beliefs and is brave enough to stand up for them if the opportunity comes.

There's obviously much more that comes with social life (nonverbal cues, sense of humor, timing and mood), and I don't know everything (I'm just some random québécois girl on the internet). But I hope this was a bit more helpful. I did have fun writing this, at least. So I guess that's better than nothing!

[ponett]

Whenever I complain about graphic or dark content in media I watch, I keep hearing people retort with this apparently very popular opinion that people who enjoy comfy, wholesome things are actually more likely to be raging assholes than people who love things like death metal and gore. As someone who seems to enjoy comfy, wholesome things yourself and likely met many others who enjoy similar such things, do you agree with this opinion? If so, why do you think this happens?

So I've been sitting on this ask for like a week, not knowing whether or not I wanted to touch it because it kind of feels like being handed a live grenade

For one, I don't like being pigeonholed as someone who just likes "comfy" or "wholesome" things. Yeah, I enjoy My Little Pony and Animal Crossing. I made a game with cute furry characters and lots of bright colors. I also enjoy things like Berserk and Chainsaw Man and Doom and violent crime dramas and punk rock with vulgar lyrics and porn. Variety is the spice of life

Anyway: I generally don't think it's a good idea to make sweeping statements about peoples' moral or intellectual character based on what genres of story they enjoy, regardless of what direction you're coming at it from. But this is a very leading question that kind of skirts around the root problems

There's frequent (perhaps a bit exaggerated) pushback these days against people who prefer their fiction to be a warm blanket, a form of escapism meant to distract you from the real world. In particular, the dreaded "person who only watches kids' cartoons" is a form of this that gets brought up a lot. I don't think the root problem here is what media people enjoy or don't personally enjoy - taste is subjective, and I don't think it's a moral obligation for everyone to have diverse tastes in TV shows - but I do think some folks should try to get out of their comfort zone a bit more. Sometimes stuff that seems like it won't be for you on a surface level will really end up speaking to you, but you won't know until you give it a shot. Trust me, I've been there many times

It becomes a problem when people demand that media ONLY cater to that "warm blanket" attitude. And I think that's part of the reason why that stereotype you mentioned about fans of ""wholesome""" media being assholes exists. People who view dark or violent content as an inherent flaw because it's not what they like. People who yell at creators when they make bad things happen in their stories, because how dare you do this to my comfort characters? People who say movies should never have sex scenes. People who want "problematic" moral complexity stripped out in favor of black and white moral instruction. People who seem to hate any sort of interpersonal conflict in fiction at all

These attitudes can be the result of many different cultural factors, factors that can't all be traced back to Tumblr or what shows you like, but sometimes it's definitely because of that lack of broader perspective on media. You can tell when someone's opinions on The Right And Wrong Ways To Write Fiction were shaped almost entirely by, like, Steven Universe discourse. (Yes, this is a jab at Lily Orchard.) And when these people are very loud about their opinions, well, it becomes a trend people notice

Like. I don't know you. You sent this anonymously. But when you say you "complain about graphic or dark content in media you watch"... that could mean a few wildly different things! Maybe you're just venting about something that unexpectedly triggered you, and that's totally fine. But the wording could also imply that, like, you take issue with these things being present at all, and that you expect a person who likes "death metal and gore" to be more of a "raging asshole" than someone who likes the "wholesome" things you like. So... well, maybe you're more dismissive or judgmental of things outside your comfort zone than you realize?

Unfortunately, in case it's not already obvious, on the internet this shit quickly becomes a proxy battle over dozens of intersecting cultural issues at once where everyone is kinda just talking past each other. So it gets messy

For example, I have no reason to believe that the people who run the "Wholesome Games" showcases have anything against games that are dark or violent or contain adult themes. (They've outright said they don't. Many times!) But when you see people going "why is Spiritfarer allowed in the showcase? That's a game about DEATH and that's NOT WHOLESOME, why would you make me think about death?" or "Ugh, why does Disco Elysium have to be about a cop? Why can't we apply these systems to a game about a young witch who's trying to find a lost cat in an idyllic village instead?" it... Well, it makes me sympathetic towards the indies who don't feel comfortable with the "Wholesome Games" label and consider it limiting. But it also doesn't make me think that devs catering to a demand for more chill, nonviolent video games are categorically facilitating fascist censorship from the Christian right

It's complicated! The written word is imprecise and the internet is a nightmare

I've kind of gone off on multiple tangents here. Basically: I do think that people can kinda turn fans of "comfy" media or "adults who only watch Bluey" into an overblown boogeyman these days. I think people online generally have a habit of swinging too hard in one direction or another in their stances on certain things, overcompensating based on what group of people online are currently annoying them the most and turning said group into like The Main Problem With Society Today. But I also think that boogeyman only exists because of very real examples of people demanding that everything cater to their narrow comfort zone. Go like what you like, but also, y'know. Don't be that person

[thevegandarkelf]

Joshua "Scud" Frohmeyer NSFW Alphabet

A deal was made with @francisofthespook, and here's my part of the deal. She agreed to write Daryl's NSFW alphabet if I wrote Scud's, so here it is! Massive kudos to @dixons-sunshine for proofreading my work, as always, and to @francisofthespook for proofreading as well (I proofread yours, so it felt fair for you to proofread mine lol). I hope you enjoy it! To my general taglist people, I'm sorry if this isn't something you'd normally want to be tagged in. I figured I would just add y'all anyway lmao. This is hands down the filthiest thing I've ever written and I had to stop several times to fan myself.

Also these are MY OPINION. If you don't agree with something, that's fine, but please play nice.

NSFW alphabet template by @the-coldest-goodbye, dividers by @anitalenia

18+ below the cut, minors DNI

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s big into aftercare! The cleaning up, the cuddling, the pillow talk, he loves it all. I think it’s one of his favorite parts of sex. Basking in the afterglow all cozied up under the covers with you, your bodies tangled together…God, he lives for that shit. After your first time doing something new, he’d want to talk with you about how it was, how much you liked or didn’t like it, and if you’d wanna do said thing again.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

For his own, I wanna go with the obvious and say his dick, but I think (and hear me out) that his stomach would also be one of his favorites. He thinks his scars are cool and are proof that he survived something he probably shouldn’t have, and I think he loves that part of himself. For his partner, he’s a boob guy, easy. He doesn’t care what they look like or how big or small they are. They’re yours, and that’s all that matters to him. And if you have any insecurities about them, he’ll be sure to show you how much he loves them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He loves to be inside you when he comes, whether that’s with a condom or without. He loves the faces and sounds you make when he’s twitching inside you, riding out his high. If you allowed him to come inside you without a condom, he’d be thrilled, but he’d still check in with you the whole time up until he comes to make sure that’s really what you want.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

This might seem like a cop-out, but he doesn’t have any dirty secrets. He doesn’t have any shame in what he likes in the bedroom, so there’s no secrets between you two. If he likes something or wants to try something, even if it’s something other people might find strange, he’s going to tell you/talk to you about it. If he expresses he’s into something and you’re not down to do it, he’s not going to feel ashamed for asking. Like I said, he has no shame in what he likes.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s very experienced & absolutely knows what he is doing. He prides himself on being able to make his partner feel good, and all the skills he’s acquired over the years will aid him in pleasing you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Cowgirl and doggystyle, both for different reasons. Cowgirl so he can watch you bounce on top of and fuck yourself on him. Especially when he’s high, he loves to lay there and just let you go to town again and again. Looking up at you through hazy, half-lidded eyes would make him crazy. Doggystyle (specifically facing a mirror) so he can watch you watch yourself take him. He’d lean over you and dirty talk into you ear, telling you to look at yourself in the mirror so you can see how beautiful you look taking him. Both positions are also great for him to be able to circle your clit.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Very humorous. He never takes himself too seriously, and that include in bed. Sex is supposed to be fun, and he definitely brings that. He needs someone that can joke around with him during sexy time. If he were to get more serious at any point, it would be when either of you are close to coming.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Yes, the carpet matches the drapes. He doesn’t care about grooming, though. He’s not bothered by body hair, both on himself or his partner. If you asked him to clean up a bit, he certainly would, but otherwise, he doesn’t care. He’s not unhygienic though, he just isn’t bothered by it enough to do anything about it. For you, though, he’d do anything.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

That depends on our little angel’s mood. Sometimes, he just wants to lay back and let you do the work, but he’d still praise you and tell you how good you’re making him feel. If he’s releasing some pent-up frustration, he’d still be soft with you, but he might not be as giggly or romantic as usual. For special occasions, like your birthday or anniversary, he’d really ramp up the romance, adding sensual touches like lighting candles and putting on music.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

This one feels obvious, but he thinks about you when he jacks off. Thinks about your taste, your scent, all of the sounds you made during your last sexual escapade. He drools a little when he comes, specifically when he comes from masturbating. He’s so deep in the thoughts of you while he’s touching himself that he can’t be bothered to make sure he isn’t drooling.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He loves having his hair played with/pulled. When he’s going down on you, he lives for having your fingers tangled in his hair and gently tugging while you buck up into him. He also loves to be praised (because who doesn’t?) (it would send his ego to the moon) and give praises as well, telling you how good you feel/how beautiful you look/how good you’re doing.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Somewhere where you’ll both be comfortable, like in bed or on the couch. But if it’s a quickie, he’d take you in the shower, over the kitchen counter, even the floor as long as you’re comfortable. He’d even take you over his work bench if it didn’t risk you two getting caught.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He gets easily turned on, especially when he’s in love. He loves seeing you in lingerie, and of course that turns him on, but he gets really turned on when you wear his clothes. Your bare breasts against the inside of his jacket, your core on the inside of his boxers, he loves it all. He’d have a hard time keeping himself together the next time he wore something of his that you had on, picturing you in it instead.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s turned off by anything non-consensual, he’d put his foot down at that. Even if it was something you wanted to try, he wouldn’t allow it. He’s into gentle biting and giving hickeys, but biting to the point of drawing blood is a no. Anything else that would cause either of you harm (something that would cause bruising that isn’t a hickey, leave welts, etc) is a no.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves both giving and receiving, but he prefers giving. He’s in heaven with your thighs clenched around his head and the taste of you coating his mouth and tongue. His skills are next level. When he’s high, his skills somehow get even better, bringing you to orgasm faster than you could’ve imagined.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Sex with him is for sure soft and giggly. He’s a goofy bean, and that personality of his certainly transitions into the bedroom. If you asked for something a little more rough, he’d obliged, albeit hesitantly at first, until he sees how much you’re enjoying it. However, that wouldn’t be often, as he prefers to be soft and slow and take his time with you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He prefers to take his time with you and savor every second. He may have a high drive and be DTF a lot of the time, but it’s still special because it’s with you. When there’s not time & you’re both so fucking desperate and needy for each other that you can’t wait, a quickie will suffice, but he’ll be longing for more. And he’d make sure the next session after the quickie was extra special.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Yes yes and yes. He’s willing to try just about anything, and if he isn’t, he’ll let you know. He won’t shame you for any ideas you bring up or anything you might be embarrassed about wanting to experiment with. He’d be flattered that you felt safe enough with him to ask to experiment in different ways.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Depends on the type of sex. If he’s high, he’d only be able to go for one round, wanting to cuddle up and fall asleep shortly after (post-aftercare ofc, I can’t stress enough how much he loves that). If he’s had a stressful day and/or it’s been a while since you two have been intimate, he’d be able to go a few rounds, wanting to stay in the throughs of pleasure with you for as long as possible.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He would certainly use toys on you if you asked. He prefers to do the work himself and get you off with just his touch, but he knows toys are friends, not competition. If you did the deed and he was too sleepy after to go another round but you wanted more, he’d lay there and watch you get yourself off with toys, watching your eyes roll back while he knows you’re thinking about him the whole time.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He loves to tease you until you’re a squirming mess & can’t take it anymore, whining & begging him to do what you’re asking. If you express that you like to be teased, he’d be delighted and draw out the teasing for as long as he possibly could until neither of you could take it anymore.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Our little stoner is definitely vocal in bed. He makes a variety of sexy grunts, groans, and moans, all of which sound like music to your ears. When there’s privacy, he’s loud. He doesn’t hold back at all in expressing how good you’re making him feel. If you’re ever in a situation where you might get caught or others are within earshot, he can hold back the noises, though he’d struggle to hold back the closer he gets to coming.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

This may be a hot take, but he is not a whimpering mess of a sub. A switch? Sure, I can see that. A whimpering mess that’s begging you and calling you mommy? Absolutely not, and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s average-sized, maybe a little bigger than average. He’s an average-heigh guy, so it would make sense that his package reflects that. There’s a couple of veins that bulge when he’s got a boner, and they add to the pleasure you feel when he’s inside you. There’s also his scars. He loves when you give them attention, kicking and licking down them slowly as you position yourself to suck him off.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He’s got a high sex drive, especially when he’s in love. After the first time, he can’t get enough of you. Your scent, your taste, your touch…he dreams of it.  He’s so in love with you, he’d get distracted at work thinking about all the things you did the night before. And the second you’re both home, he’d be pouncing on you, ready to devour you again and again.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

That depends. If it was sleepier sex while he was high, he’d pass pretty shortly after (post-aftercare of course, once you were both snuggled up under some blankets). Otherwise, he’d want to stay awake and enjoy some pillow talk with you, admiring how beautiful you are post-orgasm and savor the moment of you two wrapped up under the covers.

General taglist: @raddydaddydude @lovenormandixon @angeldemoncrowley @negansbestie @holdmytesseract

GIF made by me

© thevegandarkelf 2024. I do not consent for my work to be shared, translated, adapted, posted, or copied to this site or any platform without my explicit consent & evidence of said consent.

[mrsbsmooth]

Smut writing 101: What I wish someone had told me when I first started.

So a conversation with @queen-of-boops and @longbobmckenzie sparked this post. Sarah already wrote a list of tips for writing a villa fic which was really helpful and people expanded on it a lot, so we thought it might be helpful to share a few tips for writing smut from some of the writers that do it a lot.

This is a long-ass post, because I've learned a lot over the years. So right at the end, there's a mini how-to guide for how to turn your smut from IKEA instruction manual into an explosion of sexual tension.

In addition, I would love for others to add on to this. This fandom is horrifically talented especially in writing brain-melting smut, and this is just what I could come up with in a few hours. But I'd love to hear from other people and have them add on extra bits!

A few resources before we begin:

The Smut Writer's Dictionary

The Ultimate Guide to Writing Smut Fic [HIGHLY recommend sections ii (Reaction words), iv (sexy alternatives to 'said'), xii (generally acceptable slang terms) and xvi (Some do's and don'ts of smut writing).]

OneLook Thesaurus is much better than other thesauruses at suggesting words for smut (I've found).

Now, on to the advice!

Tip #1 - It's normal to find it difficult and cringe to write. Own it.

Smut can be intimidating. It can feel really cringe and awkward and you might feel like people are judging you for it, and you know what? Sometimes they are. Smut isn't for everyone, and not everyone wants to read it, and that's why ratings and tags exist on Archive of Our Own. But you shouldn't be ashamed of writing it. Smut is fun and awesome and people who do like reading smut often love reading it, and will absolutely eat up whatever you give them. So go nuts. Write what you want to see, write what you want to read. That's advice for everything, but it's especially relevant for writing smut. Because if you feel awkward, it can sometimes show through. Lean into it. Let it happen. If you make yourself blush, you’re doing a fucking awesome job.

Tip #2 - Writer’s block.

I've written hundreds of thousands of words of pure, unadulterated filth, and I still struggle to push into it sometimes. The leadup comes so naturally, the tension builds, they're kissing, they're starting to touch each other, and then-- writer's block. I stare at the page and tap my fingers and go... huh. Same with writing really effectual kisses, or writing orgasms. There's all this pressure to make it the best written orgasm that's ever existed in the English language and it really doesn't need to be. Just put something down. 

If your doc looks like this:She clawed at the wall, knowing she was coming apart at the seams, the pressure building inside her. He didn’t let up. [orgasm bla bla bla]. She took a deep breath. She drew herself off him. She turned around. And she fell to her knees. [blowjob and he's loving it].

Then your doc looks just like mine.

Tip #3 - Pick the right words for everyone’s bits. 

See the resource above for suggestions! People have very different preferences when it comes to what to call a cock or whether or not to use the word ‘cunt’. Adjectives, adverbs– there are so many different opinions. Like personally, I have to physically restrain myself from throwing a fic across the room if it uses the word hole but that is my personal preference, and I am massively in the minority there. But my advice is threefold:

Read widely to find out what you like,

Write what you like,

Know your characters. 

Language will vary by fandom, by character, and by setting, and it’s an opportunity to really solidify their characterisation by carrying this into smut. An arrogant fuckwit who’s bedding his mortal enemy in a fit of hate-sex might use ‘into her slick cunt’, whereas a sweet, wholesome guy who’s desperately in love might say ‘pushed inside her’. But the more you read, and the more you write, the more you’ll find certain words or phrases you’re more comfortable with. 

The more smut you read, the better understanding you’ll have of what you like. The better understanding you have of what you like, the easier it will be to write. 

Tip #4 - POV can help you

Picking the right POV can make your life easier. For example, I once wrote a M/M/M threesome. That fic ended up being my very first ever 'first person POV' fic. Why? Because it turned one set of ‘his hand’ into ‘my hand’. Made it easier to understand the logistics of ‘his hand on his waist’, etc. Maybe it's lazy, maybe it's genius. I thought it was a bit of both. 

Consider whose POV is going to be the most impactful. If you’re not sure, try writing a paragraph from each. You’ll figure it out quite quickly. 

Tip #5 - Dialogue

You don’t have to include dialogue in your smut, but it can really help with pacing things and showing when the ‘end’ is approaching. Anyone who’s ever read any of my smut ever knows I’m a huge fan of cutting people off mid sentence in smut dialogue. 

They start out with “Oh yeah? You think you can make me X?” And the other person goes “Sweetheart, I’m going to make you X so hard you don’t Y for a Z.” 

But then by the end it’s “You feel–” and everyone’s gasping “Oh, fuck–” and sobbing out “I’m so– I’m gonna–” 

To me, this helps to build pacing and tension and show without telling that the end is approaching. But honestly, that’s just me– I enjoy reading people being very vocal in smut, so that’s how I write them. If that’s not your thing, then don’t do it. Simple as that. 

Tip #6 - Don’t skimp on the finale

Orgasms are hard to write. We all know that. There’s all this pressure to write the best most explosive monumental earth-shattering orgasm that’s ever existed in fiction, and honestly, it probably won’t be. But you still need to give it the time it deserves. 

As an avid consumer of smut, there is nothing more frustrating than five pages of buildup, incredible smut, tension rising, rising, rising– and then the orgasm happens in two lines and they’re immediately having a conversation afterwards. This is, no pun intended, the climax of your scene. Give it a paragraph. Hell, give it two paragraphs. Give it four. The climax is something you can write in excruciating detail and it will almost always be better for it. You can decide whether they come at the same time, or whether one comes immediately after the other (personal fav so we get to read two orgasms. Yay! Two cakes!) You can hyper-focus on every single sense. Here are some examples for writing orgasms:

Feel/Touch

The feeling travelling through the character’s body/ zones: up their spine, through their thighs, ‘deep inside them’

Their partner continuing to thrust/move

Their partner’s grip on their body, or maybe a kiss

Fingernails digging into shoulder or raking down a back

Legs squeezing

Smell

Personally I think this works better for the leadup and afterwards, but if you want this in here you absolutely can. Pheremones, cologne, aftershave, perfume, sweat, hair gel– whatever makes them smell like them. 

Sight

Their partner’s face and get detailed! Lips parting, brow scrunched, eyes closed, face in beautiful agony, wax poetic as fuck about their partner's face! What is hotter than making someone come and watching their face while you do it!??!!?

Darkness (blindfolded 👀)

‘White light behind their eyes’ is a cliche for a reason (fucking love this one)

Seeing stars/heaven see above lol

Taste

Harder to put into an orgasm but salty skin, lipgloss/lipstick? Whatever you want really

Sound

Big one. Their partner’s breath or moan as they watch/feel character’s peak

Their own breath/moans (or lack thereof can be just as effective, a ‘sudden silence’ as their breath catches in their throat can work WONDERS)

Bodies slapping together (doesn’t always work but when it does it does)

External sounds, especially rhythmic ones. A train clacking or a club baseline could simulate a heartbeat/shockwaves that you could lean into.

Pick multiple senses and focus on them. This will fill up a good bit of your climax writing. 

But you should also let them come down from it! DON’T SKIMP AFTERCARE (or after-hate??)

Tip #7 - Aftercare!

I missed this so often when I was new to writing smut and I didn’t realise how effective it could be! I always just faded to black immediately afterwards because I didn’t want to deal with the ‘cleanup’. And you don’t have to go into detail, but at the very least, give them a few minutes– a paragraph or so after the sex. The immediate aftermath of the act itself when you can really focus on the relationship. 

If they’re mortal enemies who’ve just fucked and are now horrified? Have them panting into each others’ skin. Their breaths suddenly become sharper and more reserved. They pull back from each other. Someone glares or someone says something snarky or awful. Someone showing aftercare or affection here (or being particularly cruel) reveals a lot about their character.

If they’re deeply in love and it’s comfortable for them to do so, maybe let them just lay there for a second, enjoying the feeling of each others’ bodies and letting breaths fall warmly and smiles tug at cheeks. Soft kisses, laying in silence, affection, etc. 

If they’re best mates who just fucked by accident, have the silence be awkward and have no one breathe at all. It’s tense and awkward and one has to ask the other to go get a towel or something and the other is like ‘oh, yeah, um, right’. 

Don’t skip this! It can be so impactful!

Overall Tip - Beware the ‘IKEA Instruction manual’!

The #1 most common mistake, in my opinion, in writing smut is ‘Insert Tab A into Slot B’. It’s things like, 

He moved his leg A, she touched B. He lifted her arm to C, holding her D’s, before slipping down to cup E. She ran her hands up F, touching his G, feeling his Hs caressing her I as she lifted her J and draped it over his K.

When I read this, I’m not focusing on the smut. I’m doing mental gymnastics trying to keep track of what position they’re in in my head because I’m assuming that it’s important. If you feel yourself doing this, stop. Refocus. Remember whose POV you’re in. This isn’t to say you should never tell the reader what’s happening. Just make sure to break it up a little!

Balance actions with senses. 

Let’s say you start with a basic action. (The example is buildup to smut, not actual smut, but the idea is the same)

“His hand moved from her knee to her thigh.”

-> Instead of writing what they’re doing, write what they can sense.

“His hand moved from her knee to her thigh” becomes “She felt his warm hand slide from her knee to her thigh.”

-> Now, make the phrase active. Instead of ‘she felt’, make it a description.

‘She felt his warm hand slide from her knee to her thigh’ becomes ‘Warmth erupted on her skin as his hand slid from her knee to her thigh’.

-> Give it details, and draw focus to them.

His fingertips skimmed her inner thigh as his hand slipped from her knee and moved higher. The silk of her skirt gave way to the warmth of a coarse, rough palm. Her skin seared beneath it. But every other inch of her shivered with anticipation.

In three steps, you’ve gone from IKEA tab A to slot B to a pretty good section for building tension. 

Examples of writing senses:

What can they feel? - ‘She’d never been so pent up, so wired, so on edge, and every flit of his practiced fingers on her waist had goosebumps shooting up her spine’.

What can they taste? - ‘She could taste the sweat on his skin, the coconut suncream on his shoulders, the salt of the ocean on the hints of stubble at his jawline.’

What can they smell? - ‘Her forehead pressed to his, that smokey, heady cologne engulfing her; curling her closer in time with his arms around her.’

What can they hear? - ‘He watched her every move, breathing quickly, so she looked him directly in the eyes as she undid his belt. Belt. Button. Zip purring as she tugged it down towards her.’

What can they see? - “Then, they opened, and he was treated to the sight of her looking up at him from her knees. Her eyes said fuck me. Her mouth said fuck me. Everything about her. Fuck me. Fuck me.”

I hope this was helpful in some way. I really would love to hear any other tips and tricks that writers would like to add to this. Obviously Mo and Sarah are already tagged, but this is a full and open free-for-all.

Add your thoughts! Add what you've learned! Add what you wish you knew!

I'd love to hear it <3

[a-d-nox]

pac/pap: how to promote self-love going forward

take what resonates leave what doesn't - nothing is 100% for you because these aren't personalized so please no angry comments or dms about what i am saying not being a good fit for you or that you "don't claim" just keep scrolling if that is the case. be kind, self reflect, and have fun.

last pac/pap: message from your secret admirer

masterlist of pap/pac posts

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pile one

you might settle for less because you likely get caught up in the drama and find it fun/addicting in the moment. you pursue goals/ideas with focus, but often lack the confidence to back it up. or you wait too long for others before moving on.

i believe love has taught you that you should never settle too quickly. it is best to date multiple people before starting an exclusive relationship. don't get overwhelmed by relationship drama because it will consume you and ruin your day (but only temporarily because nothing is forever - so why stress?). you know now not to let others stick their nose in your relationships - too many opinions will taint your feelings. the biggest lesson is that you learned to cut off anything that interferes with your desires.

i feel like you are jealous maybe a lot of people around you are coupled and you are alone. be cautious because you don't know when you might ruin your relationships with others just because you feel unhappy with your situation. stop worrying about being judged or how often you are rejected - it doesn't matter you are going to find someone in due time (you are worthy). you are loving, nurturing, and protective.

you can nurture yourself by getting out there. you have been alone and isolated for too long - so get out there. stop refusing to look within for what you truly want. ask for support to get what your truly desire, especially in the social sense.

what i feel you need to hear is that you have a strong energy - you are gifted with the ability to receive what you need most from the universe. don't rush or force things - what is meant for you, will find you. you are passionate, creative, magnetic, and attractive. you are also nurturing and dependable. you are one of the most supportive person in most people's life. you have many things - you attract the world and its gifts to you. you don't settle for less - when something is missing you go looking for it. you follow your heart and instincts; you make room for new things to bring joy/happiness.

pile two

i feel like you struggle with maintaining balance in a connection and that might just be the source of why you settle for less. you get too invested in a connection and then you loose track of who are and what you want and need most in a connection. you often find yourself prioritizing the other person over yourself.

love has taught you that things can change very radically/unexpectedly and cause you to question everything. you have learned that you have to let go of certain aspects in your love life, so that you can make space for new things and even new people can better help you grow and thrive.

i feel like you are sad presently or are in the process of recovering from some sort of emotional pain/disappointment. sorrow doesn't last forever. you are very capable of healing - new experiences await you. not all new experiences are destined for heartbreak - have faith.

you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to succeed in love and be the perfect partner/person. perfect is impossible - so be generous with yourself because right now you are only burning yourself out. to nurture your wellbeing, you should stop judging your productiveness and stop comparing yourself to others - delete social media and take sometime off where you don't have to do anything at all (no doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, etc.). do what brings you joy and say "no" to everything else.

i feel like you need to hear that you are a patient person who realizes that change doesn't happen overnight. you celebrate the small wins with small cute things (for example, maybe you survived a hard week and you get yourself a cupcake). things are getting better so just acknowledge that they are. you can recognize when things have been blown out of proportion or things are being exaggerate for dramatic effect - you are human bullshit detector which is a rare find. even rarer still you have the ability to find a resolution to any argument. you are presently working on not letting other people's expectations of you throw you off of your path. you can make your own path and you know it. you trust that you are capable of standing independently of others, and you are capable of anything.

pile three

i don't feel like you are the type to settle for less than you are worth - i get the feeling that you are slightly cocky about your situation. you might need to practice being humble in a connection because you can come off as judgy or as though you have a superior attitude. alternatively, you might find yourself in connections with people who are very controlling and you might not recognize that you are in that type of connection until it is too late. it is not your fault that you might have settled for less than your worth in the past - you just found yourself in the wrong place and the wrong time and experienced a toxic relationship.

i feel as though you learned that a partner doesn't need to be flashing or exciting instead they need to be stable, grounded, and trustworthy. you have had the flashy connections in the past and it was not the best. you need something more sensual than passionate. something that grows slowly over time so that it lasts.

your intuition is never wrong about the people with interest in you, so learn to trust yourself. you are very emotionally intelligent, so trust that you have the answers you seek about any connection. trust your gut instead of overthinking and overanalyzing.

cultivate your intuitive powers, so you can manifest your dreams into reality. to nurture yourself i sense that you should reconnect with nature and recharge with the the power of the sun. you should also focus on healing any and all blockages that concern your self-esteem/self-worth.

you might need to hear that you are nurturing and dependable. you are one of the most supportive person other's life. you have many things - you attract the world and it's gifts to you. you realize that things can change very radically/unexpectedly and cause you to question everything. you have learned that you have to let go of certain aspects in your love life so that you can make space for new things and even new people who can help you grow and thrive. you know that heartbreak is temporary and that time heals all wounds. you can heal and grow as soon as you believe that you are worthy and that no one wishes to hurt you or your heart. it's okay to be hurt but you have to release that pain instead of bottling it up so you can recover.

[baronessblixen]

Eyyyyy, saw your tags! :DDDDD

I will say: knowing more about an actor doesn't change my perception of their work; but I know a lot of people-- older generation, mostly-- who do think the way that he does. To them, the more they know, the more they can't "forget" the actor/actress in a role.

Maybe it's an older generation thing? A thought process left over from the world of 90s-and-before-media, before the advent of smartphones? Or maybe it's a broad audience thing: the type where people aren't so invested in someone's career or anyone in particular, and just want to go to the movies on a Friday-- the normies that fund most of the ticket sales. I do know I've been hearing a lot of sentiment lately from others who are over-saturated with celebrities talking about their opinions rather than marketing the product... maybe that's the modern day equivalent? Maybe that's what he was trying to articulate. (Sometimes he communicates in half measures when trying to work something out.) I think so, anyway.

But today's landscape is also so different: people are selling themselves-- branding, as he called it-- their personalities to sell their products. It just is that way. Hopefully he doesn't feel the pressure to do so, as well (I don't think he does, or would care. But it's a thought.) Maybe there's pressure there, but there's also freedom (or can be): the landscape for his professional fears have changed... but they've also changed in ways that are, to him, a net negative. So. XD

Hope you have a great weekend! :)))))))

When I read your ask, I realized that most people I know - regardless of age - don't care about actors' private lives 😂 that's slightly different though than not wanting to know as it might skew the viewing perception.

I guess it makes sense. DD was born in the 60s when Hollywood's star system was breaking apart. Back then the actors were brands too - though different than today. The studios gave them new names more often than not and a personality. They needed them to be certain types to lure the audience in.

The history of the star system is really interesting. Back in the very early days, actors didn't have a name. Audiences didn't know who these people were - but they wanted to know. Same with the first magazines. They'd be about movies originally, but people wanted to know about the actors instead. That's not at all a new thing.

So I don't think it has anything to do with social media and smartphones and more like you said with the broad audience. Before social media, tabloids were HUGE. That was the only way to glimpse more into the private life of your star. I just don't think any of it is new. The means are just different.

There's middle ground between putting your whole life out there and being private. It's not just DD, but one thing I've noticed with celebrities saying they're private is that usually, they have no problems talking about their kids or their family - people, weirdly enough, who didn't choose to be part of this life. Then when it's about their romantic life they're like, oh no, I'm private. That seems like a cop-out.

This is already half an essay but don't get me started on celebrities becoming a brand these days. Why do celebrities need to sell us products? That is a trend I really hate. Maybe I'm too old to get it and thankful for every celebrity who doesn't feel the need to create a drink/food/candle/skin product.

Hope you have a great weekend too 😁