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lovenhlboys · 4 years ago

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From a Distance (E.Pettersson X Reader)

Chapter 1

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A/n: hello peoples!! I’m so excited to FINALLY post the first chapter of this fic!!! I’ve been working on it for a long time, and after a few unpleasant delays, it’s finally happening 😁. While this isn’t my first fic, this is my first NHL fic, and the first fic I’m posting on Tumblr, so I’m a little nervous. This first chapter is mostly the set up to the main story, this is reader’s side of things with a flashback story. Chapter two will be mostly from Elias’s point of view. The rest of the chapters will switch back and fourth between the two.

CREDIT: Finally, before we get started I have to shout out my proofreaders. Y’all put up with me and my insanity: @siriushxney @iateyourdonuts @petey-patty @hufflepuff-girlx @cherrylita @immmbabyyygraceee @💕💕And specifically @imagines-r-s ASH!!! Babes, you have been the best and most supportive friend I could’ve asked for during this. You boosted my confidence about this fic and I have no idea what I’d do without you 😁😁

Without further ado, let’s get started shall we!! (Sorry for the long A/N, it’ll only be for this first chapter)

Paring: Elias Pettersson X Fem!Reader

Warnings: lots of cursing, friends with benefits but like...just cuddling???, references to iCarly, mentions of One Tree Hill.

Genere: enemies-ish —>friends —> lovers

Legend: (i suggest having these ready before you read)

Y/C/N/N= your cute nick name, only Markstrom calls you it (you’ll see why) this can be either a pet name you like, or a nick name you already have.

Y/N/N= your nick name, Brock, Quinn, and a few others call you this, it’s more of a playful name. Again, this can be a nickname you already have (if you don’t have one I suggest something stupid (sounds like something Stech or Brock would come up with)

Y/N= this is your first name, only Elias calls you this unless it’s a serious situation, or you’re in trouble, or Brock is being an ass. (If it wasn’t clear before...your last name is Boeser)

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: you have a hardcore crush on your brothers best friend, who also happens to barely speak to you...it’s a slight predicament.

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(This is set in the 2021 season, however, because of my denial, Marky and Stech are still in Vancouver and were never traded... also no Covid. however the season was still delayed just to make it easier to follow.)

Present (Feb. 2021)

You’ve always been best friends with your older brother, you never had any real issues when you were younger and you were inseparable. So much so in fact, that once you graduated early a little less than two years ago (June 2019), he asked you to move to Vancouver and live with him. He was always so protective of you and you appreciated everything he has done in your life. One of the best parts about Brock being your older brother was the people he introduced to you. You aren’t very social and god knows how much of a people person your brother is. Once you had moved in, Brock quickly introduced you to the team. And with your double major in Statistics: Data Sciences and Sports Management, you were able to secure a job with the team. Quickly, you found yourself with a second family, one with many members.

Quinn Hughes is your best friend. when you met him about a year and a half ago, you hit it off immediately. With both of you being the same age and not very social, there was an obvious connection there. When Brock and The boys go out, it is you and Quinn who stay in and watch shows on the couch (your favorite being New Girl). Huggy Bear is so sweet and you tell him EVERYTHING, even things you’d never tell your brother. You are still thanking the draft lottery every day that the Canucks received the 7th overall pick that gave you your bestie.

Thatcher Demko AKA Dems AKA Thatch AKA baby goalie is the sweetest and most hilarious guy you know. He is always looking after you just like Brock, but he is also one of the most annoying guys you know. When you’d first met you had the biggest crush on him. You told Quinn as much and he gave you so much shit for it. That crush was short-lived though, once you found out how obnoxious he could be. You still love him, just as a friend. Though Quinn never forgets to remind you of the crush that once was.

Bo Horvat is like another big brother to you. Sure you have Brock, but he’s your best friend. Bo, however, is the person you go to when you needed advice. Holly is one of the only WAGs you’ve become close with. She and you consistently have wine and gossip nights, of which Quinn is sometimes in attendance. Plus, you and Quinn are an amazing babysitting team for Gunnar if you have anything to say about it.

Troy Stecher is the annoying older brother you never had. He always makes fun of you, calls you names, and bullies you in the loving way brothers do. And he never hesitates to come to you if he ever needs girl advice, which seems to happen a lot.

JT was just like Bo, except he is waaay more protective of you, maybe even a bit more than brock. He doesn’t have a sister and when you met, he made it his job to never see you get hurt. Seriously, one day a guy was bugging you at the bar, and both Brock and Bo were struggling to hold him back when he saw him slap you on the ass as you walked away.

Jacob Markstrom, AKA Marky, AKA Giraffe (pronounced like it is in one of your favorite vines), AKA your cuddle buddy for the past few seasons. Both being single, you felt lonely sometimes and Quinn wasn’t much of a hugger (despite what the nickname might have you believe). Thatcher had offered but Marky, though just as social, is much more laid back. It also helps that he is 6’6 putting him over a foot taller than you. So during movie nights, or late nights at the bar, he is the side you lean on. Of course, you made it abundantly clear to most of the boys and yourselves that you were just friends. As sweet as he was and as great of a boyfriend as he would’ve been, he wasn’t quite your type and your personalities clashed.

Then there was Elias Pettersson, the tall, skinny, Swedish guy you knew as Petey. The guy who looked at you often and barely spoke a word directed towards you. He was Brock's best friend and he came over all the time, you didn’t have an issue with him, and you couldn’t deny he was funny, and from what you’ve heard he is a very kind person. So naturally, he was exactly your type. You’ve had a massive crush on him for a while now, somehow despite the lack of conversation. And the few times he has talked to you, he’s seemed so perfect, but there are only a few times you can remember.

Right now, as you're on your way to the Canuck’s break room your brother texted you to meet him in, you try to recall those few times, specifically the one where your crush on him truly developed.

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FLASHBACK (some time in January, 2020)

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You, Quinn, and Jacob were laying on the L-shaped couch in ‘The Boeser apartment’, you were cuddled under the blanket with Jacob, laying on the section perpendicular to the TV, your heads at the corner. Quinn was on the other side of the couch, his head right next to yours. it was about 7 o’clock and the episode of One Tree Hill you were watching had just ended and you three had not eaten dinner yet. As the countdown for the next episode started, your stomach growled and you got a look from Quinn and a giggle from Jacob.

“You hungry Y/C/N/N?” Jacob asked.

You looked up at him and giggled, “maybe just a little bit.”

“Y/N/N, you know what sounds amazing?” Quinn asked, you could hear the smirk in his voice.

You turned to each other and you both smirked knowing you were thinking the same thing.

“Spaghetti tacos!!” You both said.

Ever since you were about 10 and you watched iCarly on TV, you had always wanted to try them. It had become an inside joke between you and Quinn for quite some time as he had the same desire as you to see how good they actually were.

“We should totally try them tonight!!” Quinn was quite excited.

“I’m so confused right now,” Jacob chimed in.

“They’re from a show! They take spaghetti and put it in taco shells,” you explained.

“Ahh, hence the name.” he nodded.

“Exactly,” Quinn said.

You jumped up from the couch excitedly and ran straight to your kitchen.

“Ok, we have spaghetti, spaghetti sauce, ground beef, taco shells, aaaand..... by chance do either of you know how to make good meatballs?”

“You’re asking the Swedish guy if he knows how to make meatballs?” Jacob replied.

“Not Swedish meatballs, Italian, stupid Giraffe,” you retorted.

“Gross,” he said with a disgusted look.

“Ooo my mom made the best Italian meatballs, let me call her to see if she can send me the recipe!” Quinn said with a big smile.

Quinn exited the kitchen and ran to your room to call his mom.

“You know, I’ve never seen him so excited about anything,” Marky said with a laugh.

“Quinn loves his food,” you replied.

“Are Brock and Thatch having dinner with us ?”

“I’ll ask.”

You started boiling the water for the pasta, and you cooked part of the ground beef for the meat sauce. Then you texted Brock:

Y/N/N: hey, you want me to make you dinner

Brock: Yeah, who all is there?

Y/N/N: the usual

Brock: Huggy and Marky?

Y/N/N: yep, so do you want some?

Brock: Yeah, and make enough for another person too

Y/N/N: ok

You figured it was Dems since that’s who he went to hang out with when he left 5 hours ago.

You continued to cook when Quinn came in and grabbed a bunch of stuff from the pantry and cabinets. “Did your mom tell you how to make them?” you questioned your frantic best friend.

“Yes she did and she sent me the recipe too.”

“Coolio,” you reply.

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You were almost done cooking, the pasta was done, Quinn had put his meatballs in the oven and there were only 5 minutes left on the timer. And the sauce had about 2 minutes to simmer.

“Oh my gosh, I forgot what to do when they're almost done, she does this thing, I have to call her,” Quinn said with a panicked look on his face. He ran back to your room.

The front door to your apartment opened quickly, both boys laughing, “ahh, shit, my brother’s calling me,” Brock said as he ran back to his room.

“Why does everyone feel the need to exit the room for phone calls?” you asked Jacob.

He shrugged with a giggle, “I don't know, maybe they don’t trust us,” he said in a sarcastically dramatic tone grasping his chest.

The door closed slowly and you glanced at the doorway where you thought you’d see the ever adorable goalie, Thatcher Demko, instead, you saw the adorable, slender, tall blonde you’d seen all the time, but never had a one on one interaction with... except the first time you met, when he told you that you looked pretty.

“Hi, Petey!” Jacob said as he slipped behind you to watch you mix the sauce, he stood over you looking at the sauce and put his hand on your waist.

“Hi,” he replied, his smile from before had faded.

“Looks so good Y/C/N/N,” Jacob said with a kiss on your cheek, a regular action.

“Thanks, Giraffe, can you grab the taco shells?”

He grabbed them easily from the top shelf (tall ass bitch -_-), and moved behind you, placing his hands on your waist yet again, to move you to the side. “I've gotta run to the bathroom, but I’ll be right back”

“Ok, you have fun with that,” you said with a wink.

Suddenly, was only you and Elias in the room, and the silence was deafening.

“So what are we eating?” he said, pulling your attention to his bright blue eyes.

“Um, spaghetti tacos, they're from a tv sho-”

“Like from iCarly?” he interrupted.

“...Uh yeah? How'd you know?” you couldnt pull your attention away from his eyes, ‘they are just so beautiful,’ you thought somehow you hadnt noticed this within the on and a half years you’d known him.

“We also get Nickelodeon, you know,” he said while throwing you a smirk that made your stomach flip.

“Oh, I didn't know that,” you replied, feeling just a little embarrassed.

“iCarly was my favorite, actually.”

“Yeah, it was mine too,” you said, smiling back, looking at the way he just lit up your kitchen with his presence.

You both stood there for a second just looking at the other, “So how long have-,” he started.

“OKAY,” Quinn unknowingly interrupted, “so she told me what to do, turns out I have to put sauce over them for the last 2 minutes, so Y/N/N can you just put a tablespoon of sauce on each ball then put them back in for two minutes?”

“Yeah of course. Elias, you were saying?” you looked back at the Swede.

“Oh it's nothing,” he looked down at his shoes.

“Ok, Y/N/N you need to call mom and tell her we’re fine and that she doesn't need to worry about us please, Paul says she’s stressing,” Brock said as he entered the room.

“When is she not stressing about us? I’ll call her after dinner, how's dad?”

“Doin’ good, nothing has changed or progressed or whatever since we were home last,” Brock moved and sat on the couch letting out a big sigh.

“That’s good,” you let out a sigh.

“Petey, come here, we’re watching Gossip Girl” Brock shouted at the Swede.

“Ooo what episode are you guys on?” you asked. Brock had mentioned how he was making him watch the show you two had watched about 5 times together.

“Just after Chuck gets Dan kidnapped at Yale.”

“Oh so you still hate Chuck?” you asked Elias.

“Ew, yeah...wait is that gonna change?” Petey said with a scoff.

“Uh....,” you stalled.

“Y/N shut up, don't spoil it,” Brock interrupted before you could make it worse.

“Ok well, dinner is ready so just start the show after and we can all watch it together.”

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“Oh my god, these are actually amazing,” Quinn said with his mouth full.

“I know, I did not think this was gonna taste good,” Jacob added.

“Hey!” you said, offended.

“Y/C/N/N, you know I love your cooking, it was the idea of the meal that I doubted,” Jacob said leaning into your side and putting his arm around your shoulder.

“Mmmhmm, suuure,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Hallå Marky, ni två är söta (hey Marky, you two are cute),” Petey said, confusing you, Quinn and Brock with the sudden change in language.

Jacob, being oblivious to what Petey was implying, just said, “tack broder (thanks, bro).”

Little did you know what was going on in Elias’s head.

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PRESENT

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Before that night, you never really thought of Elias in a romantic way. You'd been around him quite a lot, seeing as how, seemingly, is in your apartment more than his own. Sure, you knew he was cute and very sweet from what you'd seen, but up until that point, you'd never had a one-on-one interaction with him. That interaction, however small, was the beginning of an obsessive crush. Quinn was the first to point it out, you started listening closely any time he talked, attempting to converse with him, and thinking about him on a daily basis even when you didn't see him. And due to your stubbornness, no matter how unrequited your crush seemed, it never faltered. You had always thought he hated you, or maybe he just tolerated you because you were Brock’s sister, and you were always around.

However, that couldn't be farther from the truth.

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Tag list: @calgarycanuck @suffering-canucks-fan

#from a distance: series #pls let me know what you think!!#hockey #nhl #elias pettersson #vancover canucks #elias pettersson fic #brock boeser #elias pettersson x reader #elias pettersson imagines #elias pettersson imagine #vancouver canucks imagines #vancouver canucks fic #hockey fic #nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #hockey imagines

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fandoms-are-my-friends-1321 · 4 years ago

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Holy Matrimony

This is my first time writing for the Prodigal Son fandom, but I’m still excited either way. This was requested by @jiejie-eonni-onee-sama, and the idea is so adorable and funny. Gif and characters are not mine. Hope you guys enjoy it!!!

Description: Malcolm plans to propose to his girlfriend during their date at a fancy restaurant, but some of the team and his family arrive to make sure he doesn’t blow it. An unexpected quest also makes an appearance

Warnings: just some mild swearing, spoilers for season one, and a brief description of a crime scene, but otherwise none

“I know this is a big night for us, but you didn’t have to rent out one of the fanciest restaurants in town. I’m perfectly fine with a night in at home.”

Malcolm turned to look at his girlfriend of eight months as he continued to button up his white dress shirt. “Come on, Y/N. It’s going to be wonderful I promise. Besides, I would do anything for you.”

That was very true. This was the longest relationship that Malcolm had ever been in, and Y/N was different. He was worried after what happened with Eve, love would never return into his life. It did, however, and he was grateful to Y/N for all she had done for him so far. Tonight was the night he was going to show how much he loved her.

“Our cabs here,” Y/n said as she straightened her outfit. “You ready for go?”

“Yeah, just a few more minutes. You can go ahead down stairs, and I will catch up with you in a minute,” Malcolm responded. While Y/N was a little suspicious as to why Malcolm needed to stay back, she shrugged it off and walked out the door of the apartment. Once Malcolm was certain that she was gone, he opened a drawer that was located discretely under the bar.

He pulled out a small velvet box, and inside was the ring that he planned to propose to Y/N with. His family and friends were all supportive of this move, and yet he was still a little worried. He took a deep breath and placed the box in his suit jacket. “It’s okay,” Malcolm whispered to himself. “Nothing could possibly go wrong.”

Sunshine tweeted happily. “Thanks, Sunshine. The next time you see the two of us, you’ll have a new mom to look after you.” With that, Malcolm opened the door and dashed down the stairs to the cab. The giddy energy he felt fueling his steps.

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The couple sat in a rented out section of the restaurant. Malcolm didn’t want to raise any extra attention when he proposed to Y/N, and while renting an entire room might have been much, he didn’t want to risk it. His family already had to much attention focused on them because of his father, and he didn’t want anymore.

“Excuse me, but I’m going to go use the restroom before our food gets here,” Y/N said as she stood up from the table.

“Sure, that sounds great! I’ll be waiting here doing nothing in particular,” Malcolm stuttered as he fidgeted in his seat. Y/N smiled at him as she walked out of the room. He’s a lot jumpier than normal, she thought, Perhaps he has a recent case on his mind. In fact, the only thing Malcolm had on his mind was her, and he mentally screamed as he placed his head in his hands.

“Oh my god he’s going to blow it. My son needs to get it together.”

Outside of the restaurant, Jessica Whitley was standing outside with a pair of binoculars, her daughter Ainsley by her side. They were leaning against the brick wall of the building across the street. The pair was trying to spy on Malcolm and make sure that he didn’t mess this up.

“Well, you know how my brother can be,” Ainsley replied as she examined her fingernails.

“Your daughters right,” Gil chimed in as him and the rest of the team walked up to Jessica and Ainsley. “Malcolm Bright does whatever Malcolm Bright wants to do. We can’t control him.”

“I’m his mother for crying out loud, so I have more control than you think. What are you guys doing here?”

“Coming to see how Malcolm will manage to pull off this proposal. Same as you guys,” JT stated.

“I think you guys are being to hard on him,” Dani commented, “As much as Malcolm loves Y/N, he will know exactly what to say.”

“That’s right! From my statistical analysis, their love for each other is 100% legit,” Edrisa added in as she appeared from behind Gil, Dani, and JT. “Also, it’s a pleasure to see you again, Mrs. Whitley.”

“Likewise,” Jessica said with a smile. “Well, looks like the gangs all here.” The group waited and watched as Y/N returned to her seat at the table. The couple had begun eating, but the group that they didn’t know was waiting outside began to twist with anticipation.

“That’s it! I cant take this anymore. I’m going in,” Jessica declared as she shoved the binoculars she was using over to Ainsley. With determination, Jessica strides across the street. All the while Ainsley and Gil were trying to drag her back, but it was to no avail, and they began to follow her too. The rest of the team was close behind. However, another lone figure was lurking in the shadows.

“Holy crap, this pasta is the best I’ve ever had. No offense to your cooking of course,” Y/N said through a bite full of her food.

“None taken,” Malcolm replied with a chuckle. “I know how much you love Italian cuisine.”

“You know what I love more than pasta?”

“Day time television?”

“No, silly. It’s you! Ever since we first met at that crime scene, I just felt a connection with you.”

Malcolm couldn’t help but grin at the memory. Y/N was also part of the team, and the two had met during a case at a Bakery. At first Malcolm didn’t understand how Y/N was able to eat pastries while a man’s guts were strewn across the floor. Then he soon realized that she had witnessed a lot of crime scenes in her day.

This had to be the right moment. Somewhere deep inside, Malcolm knew that it was time to pop the question. Malcolm took a bite of his pasta, and tried to begin his proposal. However, when he saw his mom walk through the entrance of the room, he nearly choked.

“Mom! What are you doing here?! How’d you even know we were in here,” Malcolm questioned as he whiped his mouth with a napkin.

“Oh please dear, finding you wasn’t that hard. I came in because you need to stop stalling and do what you came here to do,” Jessica replied.

“Well I was going to say it, but-,”

“Jessica please, come back outside and let the kid do his thing,” Gil insisted as him and Ainsley enterted the room as well.

“Gil?! You’re here too? Let me guess the whole rest of the team is here,” Malcolm added with a wave of his hand. The rest of the team slowly made their way into the room, and Malcolm let out an exasperated sigh. “Well, now that everyone is here. May I please finish?”

Everyone nodded eagerly, and so Malcolm turned back to his girlfriend, who was still in shock by all the people who had just shown up out of the blue. It was a lot, but Y/N didn’t mind. Malcolm grabbed her hand, and Y/N’s E/C eyes met his icy blue ones. “Ever since I met you Y/N, my life has changed for the better. When I’m with you, the darkness in the world fades away. Now while I wasn’t expecting so many people to be here for this, I’m still certain that this is the right-.”

“Now hold on, my boy. Before you say those oh so famous words, aren’t you forgetting the one person that’s not here?”

The entire party froze as Malcom’s father, Dr. Martin Whitley, emerged from a dark corner of the room. Gil, Dani, and JT all pulled their guns from their holsters. “Holy shit,” JT said, “I thought this dude was in prison?”

“Yes,” Jessica snarled. “That’s exactly where he should be.”

Martin simply rolled his eyes at his wife and the others. “Oh come on now, you can’t expect me to miss the biggest day of my son’s life do you? I promise I will go back as soon as everything is done. Gil will make sure of that I’m sure.”

“Damn right I will, but for now I’m reluctantly allowing this to happen. No funny stuff though,” Gil said. Martin simply nodded as he gestured for Malcolm to continue.

Malcolm took a deep breath and focused his attention back on Y/N. “Well, as you can see my life is pretty crazy. I have a serial killer for a father, a mother who can sometimes be just as crazy.”

“Hey, that’s not very nice,” Jessica said as she pretended to be hurt, but her smile gave it away. Malcolm shook his head as he continued. “All of these people support us, and I plan to support you until the day I die, which hopefully will be a long time from now. So, without further ado,” Malcolm got down on one knee, and opened the velvet box. The central diamond in the ring sparkled due to the chandelier light from above, and Y/N let out a gasp. “Y/N L/N, will you marry me?”

“Of course I will!! Now come here my soon to be husband,” Y/N pulled Malcolm up by the lapels of his jacket and kissed him on the lips. At first her boldness caught Malcolm off guard, but he relaxed into the kiss. All the while cheers filled the room, and Martin even gave a few claps himself.

“So, will I be invited to the wedding,” Martin asked with a raised brow.

“Unless you happen to escape again, I wouldn’t get your hopes up,” Gil retorted as the cuffs snapped on Martin’s wrists. However, Martin only laughed at this. If he escaped once, he could easily do it again, and nothing was going to stop him from seeing another big moment in his son’s life.

#malcolm bright #malcolm whitly #malcolm bright x reader #malcolm whitly x reader #tom payne #prodigal son #Dani #JT #Gil #jessica whitly #ainsley whitly #x reader #fluff #fanfic #I’m sorry this fic is a lot of dialogue #but like it’s about the conversations that are going on #hope that works!

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everything-laito · 4 years ago

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Hypersexuality and Laito Sakamaki (UPDATED)

Hiya guys! Been a long ass time since I’ve made a post like this, I’ve been getting so much ask box activity + had school so I haven’t had the time to make an original post! This has been something I wanted to write for a while, and not only was I busy with school, but this one hits home hard to me personally, so I was going back and forth for a bit writing it. But I think I’m ready :)

I know there’s kind of a general consensus that anything DL related comes along with a trigger warning whether stated or not, but just a TW considering I’ll be talking about some real life experiences; not in depth or detail of course, but just mentions of it :) Not only is this a Laito analysis but it’s also an educational tool to help other people know about this!

So, without further ado, rant under the cut!

Hypersexuality is something that many sexual assault/harassment and rape survivors experience after the abuse. People associate asexuality or sexual repulsion as the only (or common) psychological affect after experiencing those situations. However, there is another affect that can happen, and it is more common than people think, and aforementioned, it’s hypersexuality. It’s basically having more sexual feeling and urges after the experience, in order to cope with the nonconsensual one. And it’s exactly what Laito experienced after Cordelia’s abuse.

I’ve also experienced something like this. I don’t believe I’ve experienced it in full swing, but definitely something like it. I haven’t been raped thankfully, but I have been sexually harassed/assaulted before a handful of times. I know I’ve briefly mentioned that in other analyses, but I’m just explicitly stating it here.

I first learned about hypersexuality this year actually, and my Laito nerd brain was like “holy shit that’s the name of what Laito is going through.” Then I was like “oh fuck I’ve gone through that a little bit too.” I thought going along with would help me “heal” myself, and it really was doing the opposite. (UPDATE: realized that what I thought was a lot of sexual trauma/hypersexuality was mostly compulsory heterosexuality (but still with those dabbled in too—quite a terrible combo) because last month I realized I’m not attracted to men! Although those experiences I mentioned did mess me up a bit, realizing this is a huge step in the right direction for my own mental well being. Just had to make this correction on my part, since the original post had more emotional investment than I would have liked it to :))

Like I have said in my little update, I realized I was going through mostly compulsory heterosexuality while also going through some minor sexual trauma/hypersexuality. Although again, I have not had it as bad as Laito has or other sexual assault survivors (which I am grateful for that), I still have a personal grasp of coping mechanisms with traumatic experiences or experiences I did not particularly enjoy. (If you are interested in learning more about compulsory heterosexuality, feel free to send me an ask! I just don’t feel that it’s appropriate to talk about it in regards to Laito or make a post about it, since it doesn’t relate to him)

And that’s probably also why I can resonate with Laito so much, at least on that scale, and even if I experienced a grain of what he’s going through. I know he’s fictional but these are definitely real experiences and real feelings.

Laito’s case is a bit different than just feeling overtly sexual. Although he’s trying to heal himself through sex and other intimate actions, he’s also doing it as a type of revenge. He doesn’t like purity, and in fact, he’s quite jealous of it. I’ve heard this is also a pretty human way of coping with this type of abuse, and it is why I love Yui as a character. She’s incredibly strong and sets an example for Laito. This makes Laito jealous yet entertained by her, and that’s also a reason why he probably keeps her around. He also attempts to use Yui as a vessel to avenge his own feelings (even not knowing about Cordelia being in her at first). I personally wasn’t like that, but given the circumstances, there’s definitely people who are. Laito’s character can be so human to me sometimes, its astonishing, despite him being a character, a vampire, and just generally does some wacky or terrible shit.

You could say his hypersexuality could also be similar to typical Pavlovian Conditioning. You’ve probably heard of the whole experiment of training (conditioning) a dog to expect food when they hear a certain sound and thus, his mouth waters. We’re conditioned by a lot of things in our lives, from triggering a “flight or fight” response from this specific ringtone or high school bell. It’s just a built in “routine” our minds utilize to process pattern recognition. I know I say this a lot, but we don’t know how vampire brains in the DL universe compare to human brains (and quite frank, I don’t think we will), so I will just do my typical human brain picking.

In Laito’s case, he was conditioned to “love” Cordelia in a fashion that was incredibly gross. No, I won’t sugar coat it. In my Cordelia/Laito analysis, I talk about how Laito was probably groomed. Grooming is another type of conditioning. Although I don’t believe his grooming was sexual, it definitely “prepares” the victim to be exploited in that fashion later on. It’s to build a false sense of trust to be betrayed. Later on, when Cordelia started having sex with Laito, he became used to it in a “conditioned” fashion. When someone said that Cordelia was calling him, he knew what it was. He also thought it’s what he wanted, even though he knew that he didn’t. I believe I have referenced his MB Dark Prologue monologue before, but not this part of it. Here’s the monologue:

――Who is it that I give my love to? Throwing myself away, I caught the sight of someone Someone I didn’t recognize, Suddenly, I realized I was looking into a mirror. The mirror reflected myself within it. I couldn’t see anything else. I am disgraceful for this greed. I was wearing a visage. What I wanted, certainly was love. It’s not that easy. Because of these words, I suffer. No matter how many times love is said, The only thing that will be important to me, Is only the physical contact and body.

I know I've said it in the Laito/Cordelia analysis, but Laito is visibly confused in his flashbacks. He’s trying to grasp what love is, but then convinces himself that love is physical contact, and not emotional connection, especially near the end. He knows he’s suffering but he is still conditioned to think like this. Same case for people who suffer from hypersexuality.

Although many people do not know why it occurs, it can be a symptom or “side effect” from disorders, medication, and the like. In the sexual trauma case, I believe a main reason is that the person utilizes sex to cope with trauma, or because they are used to sexual acts being forced upon them. That’s where conditioning still comes in. He’s treated as one of her suitors, lovers, or the like. Even as a stand-in for Richter and Karlheinz. He doesn’t consider Cordelia to be his mom until the DF Vampire ending. On top of him not receiving emotional gratification which leads to all sorts of just awful stuff for him, sexual attention is the only type that he receives until Yui comes along. He is used to not having emotional support or connections, which is why physical contact is what he is more “comfortable” with, while at the end of the day it still does not satisfy him.

It creates a positive feedback loop of him being unsatisfied, while being confused about where he’s unsatisfied in, leading to him trying to “fix” himself or avoid his own personal, emotional problems through lust and sex, but then still finding himself not “healing.” Then the cycle continues, enthusing his hyper sexual behavior even more.

I was sent some great articles from @souchiika on the DL discord (thank you so much!) and one of the articles stood out to me, since I did not talk about this type of topic on this blog yet. Here’s the link to the article, and here’s the quote that stood out to me!

Furthermore, indirect effects were also statistically significant, providing support to the hypothesis that depression and guilt would be serial mediators of trauma-hypersexual behavior relations. The paths through depression and guilt have been found to be the most significant with moderate and high indirect effects on hypersexuality. Moreover, male gender, as covariate variable, is a relevant risk factor for hypersexual behavior.

Hypersexuality is something that is still being researched like I mentioned earlier, but since these findings came out, it definitely makes sense in Laito’s case (and in general). Like I said, Laito does feel unsatisfied and even shameful of his actions, which is more apparent in the beginning of his and Cordelia’s “relationship.” In those flashbacks, he asks himself if this is what he really wants, and although he attempts to force himself to like these actions as a coping mechanism, there is still a relative degree of shame and guilt he has. It is also apparent nearing his DF Ecstacy ending when he finds out that Karlheinz foresaw Cordelia having sex with him, and even wanted it to happen. All that shame and guilt came bellowing out while he was in a fit of distress. In initial attempts to mediate this guilt and shame, he projected his feelings onto other women through sexual acts, leading to more of this hypersexual loop. I know I talk about Laito projecting a lot, but it is frequent in his character. Like I’ve always said, it’s typical “bully” power dynamic manipulation. If Laito can bring a victim of his down to his level, then he feels better about himself (but it satisfies him for only a short while, until Yui in MB+).

Also, note that this is no excuse or justification for him to rape or sexually assault others. It is merely an explanation as to why he does it (as for my posts in general, it’s not a justification, it’s an explanation).

Another reminder that rape and sexual assault isn’t about the sexual urges, but about power. That’s why anybody with any background can do it, given the circumstances.

This post was a bit hard for me to write, so I apologize if I got too overtly personal for your liking. Like I’ve said in the past, I’m not writing this to gain sympathy too, and sure that sounds superficial of me to say now (although I truly mean it), I just want to use my platform as an educational tool. Sorry about the change in my typical tone :)

Sorry if this was too much of a doozy, I really wanted to talk about it and to educate people, despite it being a bit personal. I just felt like the most effective way was to convey how real this topic is, despite this fandom knowing about it in a fictional setting.

I hope you have a great day! -Corn

#analysis #laito sakamaki #sakamaki laito #corn gets personal #sakamaki raito #raito sakamaki #diabolik lovers #dialover #dialovers #dl

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veky1993 · 4 years ago

Text

So in news surrounding my writer's life, today I have been accused of plagiarism. This is, of course, total bullshit, but if anyone is looking to accuse me of that again, they are free to reach out to me here, where I will happily disprove their baseless accusations.

In the meantime, anyone who is simply hoping to read a little something fluffy, silly, and romantic involving our favorite MC couple, is welcome to do so on AO3, or on ffnet, or right here below:

Sore Loser

"I don't know what statistics you've been reading up on, but they stand no chance whatsoever," Sharon said, her tone no nonsense.

"Forget the statistics," Andy disagreed, rather heatedly, "they've got this, you'll see."

"No, honey," Sharon's tone went up to a faux sympathetic one, "you'll see."

This was the conversation Rusty walked in on as he ventured out of his room in search of a bottle of water to take with him before heading out. He found his mother and her husband in what seemed to be a verbal standoff, glaring at each other in challenge from their respective sides of the couch.

He burst whatever weird bubble they were in. "What on earth are you two bickering about now?" He said the last word on a whine, more than justified in his exasperation, seeing as he had lost count of how many times he had found them like this.

Both heads turned in his direction.

Andy instantly muttered, "Football," while Sharon rolled her eyes and said indignantly, "We're not bickering."

Rusty laughed and pointed a finger between them, continuing his stroll toward the kitchen. "You should try getting your stories straight."

He didn't hear his mother's response, but distinctly made out Andy's grumbled, "Smartass."

By the time Rusty had retrieved his water and walked back to the living room, the two had left their opposing ends of the couch and met in the middle, Sharon tucked into Andy's side as he flipped through the TV channels.

"Made up already?" Rusty teased, then made a disgustingly sweet 'aaww' sound.

Sharon lifted her head to grace him with a half-hearted glare, but it was Andy, who without sparing him even a glance, and blowing his annoyance ever so slightly out of proportion by adopting a particularly exasperated tone, grumbled, "Don't you have somewhere else to be?"

The question halted Rusty just short of the hallway leading down to his room. "As a matter of fact, I do." When his eyes landed on Andy's final choice on the TV, he pointed his bottle at the screen and grimaced exaggeratedly. "And thank goodness that I do."

"What's wrong with watching football?" Sharon asked, mildly offended, and turned to face Rusty fully.

"Oh, watching football's just fine," Rusty shook his head, "it's watching it with you two that just..." he trailed off on a feigned shudder.

Sharon suddenly turned back to Andy. "You're right. He is a smartass."

Andy let out a throaty chuckle. "Mark the date and time." He made a show of checking and tapping his watch. "Sharon Raydor admits Andrew Flynn is right about something."

Sharon's eyes narrowed, and she leaned back a little to cross her arms, then pursed her lips as she leveled Andy with a stare that quickly dampened his earlier luster. Suppressing a proud grin for being able to mess with him quite so easily, Sharon kept her tone teasing, even as her voice dipped low, and she simply said, "Oh, I cannot wait to see your team get crushed to a pulp."

Making a conscious effort not to roll his eyes at them, Rusty interjected before the situation could escalate, or worse, potentially scar him for life. "His team?" he asked, genuinely curious, as he waved his bottle at the TV again. He might be clueless about the sport in general, but even he could tell neither Sharon nor Andy's favorite team was playing that day. "You know what?" he added quickly, raising a hand in a 'stop' gesture before either one could reply. He shook his head, too, deciding he didn't need any more details. "Nevermind. I'll just, uhm," he hooked a thumb in the direction of his bedroom, already retreating that way with a couple of backwards steps, "head out before you two football freaks make me seriously question ever agreeing to being part of this family." He turned on his heel, and quietly, but still loudly enough for them to hear, corrected himself. "Or well, before Mom does anyway."

Andy burst out laughing, breaking Sharon's concentrated effort of still staring him down. Her eyes went wide at her son's (only too warranted) words and she swallowed an offended gasp, then tilted her head in Rusty's direction to sing-song after him, "It's called being passionate about something!"

When no response came, Andy tugged on her arm until she unfolded them and pulled her into his side again. "Don't worry," he squeezed her gently, "I for one love the football freak in you." When Sharon stiffened, no doubt wanting to pull back and slap him with one more glare, he quickly tightened his hold around her, and plopped a kiss into her hair all the while grinning. Sharon let it go quickly, however, only muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'Surrounded by smartasses,' and by the time they returned their attention to the TV, Rusty finally shuffled back to the front door.

"It's called being ridiculous," he informed her quite matter-of-factly, then without further ado and certainly without expecting either Andy's or Sharon's response, swung open the door and walked out with a, "I'm off, bye!"

Affronted by the young man's audacity, Sharon pushed herself off Andy's chest and watched with wide eyes as the door closed behind him, speechless. On a chuckle, Andy pointed his finger at it. "He gets that from you, you know?"

Sharon frowned, looking back at him in confusion. "Gets what from me?"

"Wanting to always have the last word," Andy quipped.

She smacked him across the chest even as she made herself comfortable against his side again. "Oh, hush you."

Undeterred, Andy kept on chuckling, then, as the commentators started discussing pregame statistics and strategies, randomly asked, "Do we have any snacks?"

Sharon tilted her head up to look at him. "We just ate."

"So what?" Andy shrugged, shaking her a little in the process. "Can't watch football without having something to munch on."

Sharon gave him a serious look of consideration, and Andy could practically hear the wheels of her sense of occasion turning. "You make a good point," she decided, giving his arm a squeeze as she untangled herself from it.

Andy grinned smugly and pumped his fist in victory. "I'm on a roll tonight!"

Sharon shook her head at him, then inclined it to the side, her brow creasing together in seriousness. "Healthy snacks though," she said sternly, getting to her feet to round the couch.

Andy flopped his head down onto the backrest of the couch and groaned. "Like carrot and celery sticks?" he suggested sarcastically, but there was genuine dread in the words as well.

"Why not?" Sharon countered, brushing her fingers through his hair as she walked past his head.

Unable to tell if her tone indicated those were exactly the kind of snacks she had in mind or not, Andy narrowed his eyes, rolling his head to follow the rest of her movement. "Maybe this," he waved a hand at the empty coffee table, "is just fine after all."

She laughed, then disappeared from view.

Andy huffed. He didn't often get these cravings. He'd gotten used to and even learned to enjoy their heart-healthy diet, but today he'd kill for a bucket of greasy chicken wings or a box of even greasier pizza. Even a pack of pretzel sticks or a bag of chips would do. Anything would, but the likes of celery and carrots.

"You sure about that?" Sharon's voice carried to him from the kitchen, pulling Andy out of his self-pity.

Her teasing undertone only confused him, until he heard the ping of numbers being punched into the microwave. He straightened on the spot instantly. "What's that?" he asked suspiciously.

Sharon poked her head out into his field of view, and wiggled an eyebrow at him. "You'll see," she said, cryptically.

Andy didn't dare hold high hopes for confirming his suspicions, but when he heard a pop, soon followed by a number of others, he grinned widely. "You mean I'll hear," he said, loudly enough for her to hear him over both the sound of the microwave and the popping.

Sharon appeared again, walking back toward the couch carrying two tall glasses of water, and smiled at his excited disposition. "Better than carrots and celery?" she asked, handing him the glasses to put on the coffee table. When he did, she turned her back to him and leaned against the back of the couch.

Andy sank into the cushions and looked at her with a dreamy smile on his face. "Much."

She chuckled, then ran a hand affectionately down the side of his face, no doubt to lessen the blow of the words that followed. "There is a catch, however."

"Ugh." Andy grunted. "I knew it was too good to be true," he grumbled petulantly.

Sharon laughed, running her nails down the line of his jaw, then grinned when Andy failed to dip his chin down fast enough to trap her hand before she pulled it back. "It's a low-sodium mix," she explained. "Spicy, but not salty."

Andy's eyebrow quirked skeptically. "Is it any good?"

Just then, the microwave pinged it was finished, and Sharon moved off the couch. "We're about to find out," she said, going to retrieve their popcorn.

"Can't wait," Andy said in a tone that held zero optimism, but Sharon didn't hear him.

When she finally returned, she dropped the bowl of popcorn into his lap as she walked around the couch to find her seat again. When Andy looked at her, his eyebrows went up at the mischievous glint in her eyes. "Oh," he grimaced, looking at the bowl in disgust, "that bad?"

A short burst of giggles bubbled out of her. "No," she grabbed a few popcorns and happily chewed on them. "They're not bad at all actually."

Andy continued to appraise the popcorn with distrust, but asked, "Then what's," he waved a finger at her face, "all that about?"

She swallowed, then bit the inside of her cheek to contain a smile. "I may have another snack for you," she informed him with a playful bob of her eyebrow.

Andy's head snapped up to look at her, his hand pausing halfway on its path to test the popcorn. "Is that so?" he asked suggestively, leaning toward her, his eyes on her lips.

She tilted her head up and quickly acquiesced to his wordless request for a kiss, then laughing a little, said, "Not that kind of snack."

"Oh, God," Andy mumbled and flopped the side of his head against the backrest. "You're stuffing me with carrots and celery after all, aren't you?"

She giggled. "Actually…" She pulled her hand out from behind her back Andy didn't even notice she had been purposefully hiding from him. "Cheat day," she added, wiggling a bag of potato chips in front of him.

"No way," he let out lowly, lifting his head and his eyes going wide.

"Way," Sharon countered, then put two fingers underneath his chin, pushing up his dropped jaw.

"I love you," Andy said on a happy sigh, ducking his head to kiss the two fingers on his chin.

"Ah-ah," Sharon warned, tapping his lips with the digits he just kissed.

"Another catch?" Andy asked, suddenly resigned, stuffing his mouth with a handful of popcorn, for a moment forgetting he didn't even know if it was any good. "Oh," the taste distracted him, "this is nice," he said over his mouthful.

"Told ya," Sharon said proudly.

He ignored her gloating. "So," Andy eyed the bag of chips she had produced, "what's it gonna cost me?"

Sharon looked at the TV, momentarily chewing on her bottom lip. "I was thinking we make this a little more interesting."

Andy shifted on the spot, putting just a bit more distance between them to look at her with curiosity. "Do I like where this is going?"

"If you want this," she waved the bag, the rustling and rattling sounds music to Andy's ears, "then most definitely."

His wheels turning, Andy looked at the TV where the game was just about to start. "Oh," he said when he finally figured it out, "you're thinking bets."

She smiled instantly. "I am."

"My team wins, I get that," he eyed the bag hungrily, "your team wins, you eat it?"

Her smile widened. "Precisely."

Andy turned toward the TV and relaxed fully into the couch, propping his socked feet up on the table and grabbing another handful of popcorn. "You're on."

Caught between shaking her head and laughing at his childish excitement, Sharon put the prize down on the coffee table, then leaned back into Andy's side. "Hold your horses, my dear," she mumbled, snaking her hands around his arm, "those are mine."

"Nope," Andy disagreed confidently. "I told you, I'm on a roll today."

She laughed, grabbing some popcorn out of the bowl in his lap. "Not for long." She dropped just a single corn into her mouth, then repeated, "Not for long."

Halfway into the game, Andy was a huffing, puffing and disappointed mess, most likely a little exaggerated for Sharon's benefit, but she still had an incredibly hard time not to laugh at him. When he suddenly grabbed the remote and turned off the TV in frustration, her self-restraint vanished and she burst out into snorts, failing miserably at hiding them in his arm. "I was watching that," she managed in between her laughs.

He extracted his arm from out of her hold and shuffled nearly all the way to the other side of the couch. He glared at her as he put the bowl of popcorn down on the table, then took the bag of chips that lay next to it. "Take it," he practically threw it into her lap, "you win."

She caught the bag, a tad clumsily. "Teams have recovered from worse, Andy," she offered optimistically, and she might have even been convincing, had her voice not trembled with suppressed laughter.

He continued to glare at her, his tone as begrudging and pessimistic as it possibly could be. "The hand of God can't save that mess of a team." He struck a hand out in the direction of the now black screen as if she hadn't seen exactly how dreadful they were.

Sharon snorted, not disagreeing. "Well," she finally said, preparing to open the bag, "if you're sure…" She eyed the TV, then Andy. "I mean, the game's not over yet."

"I'm sure," he grumbled, slumping back into the couch, now avoiding to look at her. "Knock yourself out," he added, crossing his arms.

Her lips pressing into a tight line in order to stop herself from further laughing at him, Sharon opened the bag. When she reached inside and took a chip out, she watched him intently as she slowly put it in her mouth, but he steadfastly refused to so much as glance her way. Not being one to give up so easily, she bit into it, making it crunch loudly, but when not even that chipped away at his resolve, she let out a low moan and nearly snorted again, when that instantly, and most likely reflexively, had his head turn toward her.

"Delicious," she told him, her tone, in Andy's opinion, far too seductive to be talking about a strip of baked potato.

"There's no need to rub it in, you know," he muttered, his lip curling in displeasure.

Having his attention now, she openly grinned at him, and took another chip out of the bag. She placed it into her mouth just as slowly, then repeated both the crunching sound and her low moan. The way he frowned, even as his eyes flashed with lustful hunger, had her wonder what seemed more alluring to him, the chips or her. Something told her it was the chips and the thought only caused her to laugh a little more.

As if seeking at least some comfort, Andy briefly leaned forward to stick his hand into the popcorn bowl. Chewing furiously around his mouthful, he pushed himself back into the couch, and grumbled, "Now you're just being plain cruel."

"I might," her voice shook with amusement, but she paused deliberately until he looked at her just in time to see her slowly lick the salt off her fingers, and she suppressed a grin when his mouth dropped open and he stared stupidly at her, "be persuaded to share."

He closed his mouth, but only to bite into his bottom lip. "Yeah?" he managed, having to clear his throat when the word came out hoarsely.

She offered an affirmative hum, and the sound drew his eyes up to hers, pulling him out of his temporary stupor. "Persuaded," he was a little wary now, "how?"

His suspiciousness made her chuckle because she had no intention of living up to his idea of torture. "Oh," she reached out the hand holding the bag of chips, wiggling it a little, "just get back here, and help yourself."

He didn't need telling twice, but to her complete and gasp-eliciting surprise, when he reached her, he didn't go for the potato chips, but for her lips, catching them in a hungry kiss. Before she had a chance to respond, he pulled back, then, sounding a little surprised himself, said, "You taste like potato chips."

She barely managed to laugh, when his lips landed on hers again. She responded this time, her hand finding the back of his head to keep him precisely where he was. When his tongue darting out and swiping over her bottom lip drew a strangled groan from him, she smiled, breaking the kiss and resting her forehead against his. "Why do I get the feeling this is about the chips and not us?"

Andy pecked her lips one more time, then pulled away a little to look her in the eye. "Oh, it's definitely about the chips," he finally stole a chip from the bag she was still somehow clutching and plopped it into his mouth, pausing to moan in pleasure as he munched on it, "but also," he leaned in to kiss her once more even though he was still chewing, "very much about you."

Sharon was certain he meant his words, and it drew an affectionate little smile out of her, but when he immediately after stole another couple of chips out of her bag and continued snacking on them happily, she snorted. "Maybe I should leave you two alone." She even started pushing at him to further her point.

"Uh-uh," Andy disagreed, shaking his head. He shifted a little so they were side to side, then dug a chip out of the bag and offered it to her. "I'm in a sharing mood," he added seriously.

"You," the word was laced with incredulity and one of her eyebrows shot up, "are in a sharing mood?" She bit off the chip he held out anyway.

"Mhm," he hummed confidently, then rubbed his fingers together before digging into the bag yet again.

That made her laugh again. She let Andy take over the bag, then helped herself to some chips and said, "I've married a child."

Sharon had to trap her bottom lip between her teeth to prevent herself from laughing when his entire demeanor only corroborated her words; the bland expression on his face, the almost protective way he was clutching the bag in his lap, and last but not least, Andy's chip-loaded hand hanging in the air, midway to his mouth. "You like the child in me," he told her nonchalantly, tilting his head back to drop the pile into his mouth.

He had her there, and because it was simply impossible to deny it, her mouth immediately stretched into a besotted smile. The discovery that he could be silly to the point of ridiculousness had been something she stumbled upon long before a romantic relationship crossed either one of their minds. It endeared him to her, as she would later realize, not just because this side so clashed with the tough, quick to anger Lieutenant, but because like her, there weren't that many people he relaxed around enough to reveal it. Being one of those few chosen ones warmed her heart back when they were just friends, and the feeling only intensified over the years, especially as he slowly, without her even truly noticing, uncovered her own dorky side.

The absence of loud crunching noises slowly drew Sharon out of her musings, and as she returned to reality, she found Andy watching her with interest.

He wiggled some chips in front of her. "Chip for your thoughts?"

She giggled. Yes, she absolutely adored the child in him, and she found no reason not to tell him as much. She stilled his hand, and leaned in to wrap her lips around the proffered chips, then once she chewed and swallowed, said, "I adore the child in you."

His mouth opened and then a corner of it took an upward turn as it formed a lopsided, goofy, and coincidentally, childlike smile. His hand went for her cheek, then slipped into her hair before she could fully pull back. When he pressed his lips to hers this time, chips were most definitely not on his mind.

He released her lips only to trail a path of kisses along the line of her jaw, causing her to grip his shoulders for support. "We have the condo," he mumbled when he reached her ear, "to ourselves," he caught her earlobe gently between his teeth, then released it as he pulled back to grin at her obscenely, "don't we?"

On a sigh, she lifted her head and opened her eyes, her hold on his shoulders slackening. "Mhm," she hummed in a way that had Andy capture her lips one more time.

His attentions were interrupted on a grunt when he squeezed the bag he miraculously still had ahold of a tad too tightly, and in turn, quite loudly, crushed a few of his precious chips. He frowned at it, making Sharon laugh, who quickly helped by extricating it out of his hand and flopping it down on the table. For a second, a look of regret, or was it longing, flashed in Andy's eyes, as if perhaps he wasn't quite ready to part with his beloved snack just yet, but it was quickly forgotten when Sharon huffed impatiently and planted a hand at the back of his neck to press her lips to his again.

He slipped his hands underneath her shirt, then on an insistent squeeze, nudged her into his lap, never once letting go of the kiss. When she straddled him, however, it was Sharon who broke it, moving the hair out of her face with an elegant shake of her head. She dropped her forehead to his and whispered, "You should lose bets like these more often."

"You should feed me potato chips more often," he countered, making his point by bucking his hips into her.

She giggled in that rare, carefree, high-pitched tone of hers, then kissed him again. He grinned when they let up for air and their combined breathing fogged up her glasses. When she put a hand against his chest, getting some distance between them, and unceremoniously tore them off her face, he chuckled.

She folded her glasses, but did not let go of them as she tangled her hands behind his neck. She squinted, for show really, and complained. "You're blurry."

He pulled his hands out from underneath her shirt and clasped her face, his thumbs running over her cheekbones until she stopped squinting. "You're beautiful."

She instantly smiled.

"Especially your eyes," he added, letting go of her cheeks to brush his thumbs affectionately across the crinkles that appeared in their corners.

"Charmer," she muttered, but dipped her head to kiss him quickly again anyway.

Grinning, he dropped his hands and focused on them as he slipped them beneath her shirt again. When he thrummed his fingers lightly against her sides and her posture stiffened, he smirked. "Just speaking my truth."

When his fingers traced the edge of her bra, Sharon clasped his wrists and straightened. He looked up to find her matching his smirk with a coy smile of her own. "Let's save some truths for the bedroom." She ground against his lap just in case he was missing her point.

On a low groan, he dropped his forehead to her shoulder. When she laughed, he recovered and caught her off guard by dipping his hands to her lower back and sliding her closer across his lap. The sudden movement had her throw her head back long enough for Andy's lips to latch onto the revealed skin of her neck. Careful not to leave a mark, he sucked on a spot he knew to be particularly sensitive and distracting, then mumbled, "Let's."

Before Sharon could do so much as moan in pleasure, his hands dipped even lower, to the backs of her thighs, and in one swift motion he was on his feet with her.

Alarmed, she instinctively hooked her legs around him and clutched desperately at his neck, dropping her glasses to the couch. "Andy, put me down!"

He adjusted his hold on her, then kissed her cheek. "Nope."

She relaxed, but only in exasperation. "You're not twenty anymore, you know?"

"I know," he agreed a bit regretfully, making her smile. "Just," he jostled her a little until she was even more securely in his arms, "trust me."

"I trust you," Sharon said indignantly, but did rest her chin against his shoulder, missing the immediate smile the easy constatation drew on Andy's face, "it's your old bones I'm wary of."

"Ouch," he said, then squeezing her thighs in retaliation, added, "I'll show you old in a minute." When she chuckled, instead of heading to the bedroom to make good on his promise, he remembered the discarded bag of chips and with the intention of folding it close so its contents didn't dry out, he bent down a little. In the process, he dipped Sharon and, holding onto him more tightly, she let out a startled "Oh, my God!"

Straightening again and making sure she was safely in his arms, on steady feet Andy finally started walking toward their bedroom. "Started without me?" he teased.

Sharon snorted into his neck.

It wasn't until they were safely ensconced behind the closed door of their bedroom that Andy let her back down to her feet, his arms only loosely looped around her.

She tried to glare away his cocky smirk, but instead, a smile crept upon her face on its own volition and she found purchase on his hips, pulling him closer to her. She still had her wits about her though. "I'm waiting," she challenged, "old bo-"

He cut her off with a bruising kiss.

…

The following morning, Andy woke first. At the feel of an arm resting heavily on his chest, he instantly grinned and looked to his side. Sharon lay sprawled on her stomach, facing away from him. He suppressed a chuckle when he realized she was taking up a good two thirds of their bed, then careful not to wake her, slowly moved her arm. She didn't stir awake, but did tuck her arm under her pillow in response. Andy itched to run a hand down the exposed skin of her upper back, but—he remembered this on a smug smirk—he'd proven what old bones could still do the previous night, and decided she'd appreciate the extra sleep, even if he was certain she wouldn't mind the attentions he'd have in store for her if he did wake her up.

Seeing though that he would not be falling back asleep, but being too lazy to actually get up and start his day, he reached for his phone.

After he turned off the alarm clock, he opened his news app. Same old recycled news from the day, if not week, before, of course, filled his screen, and he was just about to find something else to do, when a headline in the sports section caught his eye. 'Last Night's Spectacular Recovery...' part of the title read, underneath a photo of the banners of the teams that had clashed the previous evening. He clicked the 'read more' link, then instantly sat up as he scanned the article. "They what?!" he exclaimed, then immediately winced at his loud voice, his eyes darting to Sharon's sleeping form.

She woke, of course, a sleepy, disgruntled moan coming out of her. She turned her head his way, then frowned. "What's with the yelling?"

Andy was no longer sorry for waking her up. "They won!" He pointed a finger at his phone screen, then at himself. "I won the bet!"

Sharon closed her eyes, her brow momentarily creasing further, needing a second to remember what bet he was talking about. When she did, her eyes flew open. "You did?"

"Yes!" Andy exclaimed yet again, all but shoving his phone in her face when she pushed herself up on her elbows. "Ugh," he groaned when she took his phone to read through the article, "I could have had those chips all to myself," he mumbled disappointedly.

Sharon flung the phone back in his lap. "You wouldn't have shared?" she asked, her voice thinning, offended.

Andy looked at her blandly, his response matter-of-fact. "You and I both know who the bigger person in this relationship is."

Sharon rolled her eyes. "You're so not getting the rest of them."

"The hell I'm not," Andy disagreed. "I won 'em fair and square."

With that, he flung the covers off himself, draping them over Sharon in the process, and practically jumped out of bed.

With a jerked movement, Sharon freed herself of the offending item just in time to see Andy swinging his bathrobe over him and heading for the door. She was on her feet equally as quickly, grabbing and wrapping her own robe around herself as she hurried after him.

She nearly bumped into his back, however, when she reached the living room.

"They're gone," Andy whispered disbelievingly, standing rooted to the spot and staring at the coffee table.

"What's gone?" Rusty appeared out of the kitchen, a cup of coffee in his hand. His eyes landing on his mother, he added on a smile, "Good morning, by the way."

Sharon tied the sash of her robe a bit more securely, then joined Andy at his side. "Good morning," she greeted, matching his smile, then chanced a glance at Andy, a dumbstruck look on his face. When it didn't seem like he would be responding to Rusty's question any time soon, she did so in his stead. "There was a bag of potato chips," she waved a hand at the coffee table, "there."

"Oh," Rusty followed her wave, then scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "I haven't had potato chips in like forever, so," he grimaced, realizing he perhaps shouldn't have done what he was about to admit to doing, "I may have polished it off when I came home last night."

That jump-started Andy's ability to speak. "You what?" he practically screeched.

At the same time, Sharon burst out laughing.

Andy continued incredulously. "But you ignored the half-full bowl of popcorn?" He waved a hand at the bowl that in fact still stood on the table, more than a sizable portion of popcorn in it.

Rusty winced. "I like them crunchy, and these already went stale."

"He likes them cru-" Andy couldn't even finish repeating Rusty's sentence, but looked wildly around the room, unbelieving. "Are you hearing this?" he suddenly asked Sharon.

She hid her mouth behind both of her palms, unable to contain her laughter.

Rusty frowned at this point, absolutely baffled by both their reactions. "What's the big deal?"

As Andy instantly started on a mini rant, describing exactly what the big deal was, Rusty just stared at him. For a while now, a big topic in the household was Sharon and Andy's medically conditioned diets. Sharon found it less difficult to make the transition. For as long as Rusty had known her, she was always watching what she ate, and regularly made sure he, too, ate more than just junk food or take out. Andy, however, who had actually had more time to get used to it, seeing as he was on doctor's order ever since his blood clot ordeal, grumbled about all his restrictions often enough that Rusty, and he suspected his mom, too, simply learned to tune him out, whenever he got particularly prickly about it. Like now.

The healthier diet was never forced on Rusty though. He still indulged in plenty of burgers and fries, but it had kind of become the norm for there not to be all that many unhealthy snacks lying around the house. Still, sometimes he'd go out and stock up on some, sometimes his mom would think of him and get him something, even Andy remembered to get something for him if he went on a grocery run. So when he came home last night, he didn't think twice about enjoying the bag he found on the coffee table. Their reactions now though, confused the hell out of him. Hoping to make up for it, and really to just put an end to this increasingly strange conversation, he interrupted Andy and said, "Look, I'll get you a new one."

Two simultaneous, equally as baffling, responses came at that.

"You sure will," Andy agreed threateningly.

"No need," Sharon said dismissively.

Then the duo turned to glare at each other.

Rusty gave the heavens an exasperated look, part of him truly seeking out divine help. "Not this again," he mumbled, ignoring them and going over to the couch.

"Cheat day was yesterday," Sharon said, and this drew Rusty's attention again and he turned his head to look at them. Things were beginning to make a little more sense.

"Yesterday?" Andy threw his arms out. "What yesterday? You mean those five minutes before—" He suddenly snapped his mouth shut, throwing Rusty a quick look as he obviously remembered they weren't alone.

Sharon smirked, raising an eyebrow and taking half a step back as she folded her arms in nothing if not challenge.

Rusty took a sip of his coffee, and actually sent out a quiet prayer for Andy not to take her up on it. He could already deduce much more than he wanted to, and he'd appreciate being spared any more details. Unfortunately, as Andy still considered his response, Rusty's eyes fell on the glasses Sharon had dropped on the couch the previous evening. Having eaten the chips in his room when he came home, he hadn't noticed them before. Now, however, they only further helped his deductive skills and he regretted not drinking his coffee in his room as well. He picked them up, then interrupted them just as Andy opened his mouth to finally say something. "Really?" he drawled, dangling the glasses between two fingers as if they were too sullied for full skin-on-plastic contact.

Andy rolled his eyes and snatched the glasses out of his hold, handing them unceremoniously over to Sharon. "Oh, get your mind out of the gutter," he muttered. "Nothing happened." He shot Sharon, who put her glasses on, an absolutely filthy look, and added, still in a very much grumbling tone, but quietly, for her ears only, "Not here anyway."

Rusty didn't hear what he said, but did not miss his look, and what was more, the way his mother actually squirmed, blushed and laughed all at once. He dropped his head over the backrest of the couch, squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. "Guys!"

Andy must have decided that mental image was enough punishment for his faux pas, for Rusty felt him walking past his head in the direction of the kitchen, a low chuckle emanating from him. Then a hand he knew belonged to Sharon disturbed his hair. When he opened his eyes to look at her upside down, she was smiling apologetically at him. "Sorry," she rolled her eyes at Andy's grouchy mood, "he was really excited about those potato chips."

Completely misinterpreting her words, Rusty's eyes went wide and he lifted his head, a horrified "Mom!" on his lips.

She glared at the back of his head, unimpressed. Having reached her limit for tolerating his exaggerated disgust of them, she pointed a finger threateningly at Rusty's head. "You know what," she then started following Andy into the kitchen, "just for that, you now owe us two bags." She ignored Andy's ensuing victorious laugh, then knowing Rusty would whirl around to stare at her, turned to meet his look, daring him to disobey.

Rusty instantly retreated, muttering a quick, obedient, "Yes, Mom." He flopped his head back down on the couch, and grumbled loud enough to make Sharon laugh, "I'm never eating potato chips again."

#shandy #sharon raydor #andy flynn #rusty beck #major crimes #major crimes fanfiction #fluff #humor #silliness #romance #sore loser #come at me liars #!

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sparklyaxolotlstudent · 5 years ago

Text

I got bored inspired today and decided to wite the Wackynette Story of “HawkMoth is” where Marinette does a presentation about why and how Lila is secretly Hawk Moth (Her assignment was to do tabloid news)

Also got inspired by @Rarity36 comic about the same thing, thank you!

semi salt, but not really.

Hawk Moth Is…

Or the Dangers of Assigning a Tabloid Report to Very Smart Students

The day started ordinary for the Class of Miss Bustier. Today lesson was on News and how they can be shared. To make the lesson a bit more fun, after they had covered all of them, the teacher had decided to assign each pair of student to investigate a current event and make a presentation in the style of said event. Lila immediately asked Alya to be her partner.

“Oh, we can dress up as journalists and make our presentation as something worth of a Newspaper!”

“But Miss Bustier” asked Marinette spoke up. “There are 15 of us, and the assignment is on pairs… one of us will be left on its own”

“Oh, don’t worry Marinette, I’m sure whoever that is can make a wonderful job on their own!” replied Lila with fake sweetness. Of course that with her claiming Alya, it was highly likely that Marinette would be left on her own. Marinette just glared at her. “Don’t get mad at me, I’m only joking!” Lila added with more fake sweetness. Alya giggled.

“I’ll be sure to make things fair. For starters, I’m making the pairs” she looked around the class, who groaned. “And I’m also assigning what kind of media will each do”

Miss Bustier took a small glass bowl from under her desk, along with a hat; both seemed to be filled with papers.

“Now, I’m going to take out your names from this bowl to make the pairs so everything is fair. No changes or substitutions are allowed, all pairs are final” she grabbed the hat. “And this hat has all the different media we saw, to make everything fair, it will be also random”

Marinette was one of the last chosen, and she was paired with Juleka, to work on a tabloid. Lila snickered, and Alya gave Marinette her condolences for having to work on “fake news”

At the end, only Adrien, Lila and Chloe were unpaired. Marinette felt a bit bad for hoping that Adrien would be on his own, but then a Christmas Miracle happened…

“Only three people…” Miss Bustier took one of the papers left “Adrien with” Marinette held her breath, as did the other two girls. “Huh… Markov? I don’t remember putting his name here…”

“No charges or substitutions allowed, all pairs are final” Markov played a recording of Miss Bustier. She just shrugged.

“Well, I did say that. Adrien, you’re with Markov. Lila and Chloe, you’re the last pair”

The two girls looked at each other, mouths agape. Even with Markov lacking a face, they could swear he was grinning at them.

“Good luck on your presentation” called Marinette to Lila and Chloe after the day was over.

Working with Juleka was a blast, even without taking in account that they also worked on her room, which meant Luka was present sometimes. They actually came to the realization that working on a tabloid would be easier than what their classmates had gotten, as it meant that they would only need to think on something current, and then lie their asses off in a sensationalistic way.

So of course they choose the most unbelievable thing they could, and went from there.

The day of the presentation came, with Chloe and Lila presenting something worth of a news show, and that was obviously made by professionals that Chloe’s dad paid. However, they forgot to cite their sources, so Miss Bustier had to take off some points of their grade.

“Marinette and Juleka are next, their theme is a tabloid”

The two girls stood up from their respective seats. Like Chloe and Lila before them, they were dressed in pantsuits that no doubt Marinette had designed, Juleka with her a dark purple that almost seemed black, with a textured fabric that looked like giant feathers, Marinette with a soft pink one that it took the others a double take to realize the blazer was simulating a skirt. Even Chloe seemed impressed.

“Yes, yes. Hello everyone, as you know, the Tabloid is a type of newspaper that is smaller, and covers more sensationalistic stories, celebrity gossip and such, most of their stories are dubious or outright fake.”

“They are famous in the states for reporting Bigfoot and UFOS, for example”

“So today, our news is the most unbelievable thing we could think of!”

Marinette pressed a button on her tablet, and the screen behind them appeared, it looked like the cover of a tabloid, with sensationalistic views talking about monster sightings, Andre the Ice cream man being secretly a spy, Luka being a vampire and other nonsense the girls could think of. The biggest font and the main news red “We discovered the identity of Hawk Moth!!!!”

“First of all, we want to thank Nathaniel for taking time of his own project to help us with the illustrations for ours”

“You’re welcome!” said the boy, who was also wearing a dark red suit, also designed by Marinette. Kim, his partner, was equally dressed, with his vest and pants being a weird shade of brown.

“Without further ado…”

“EXTRA, EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!” yelled both girl at the same time. Marinette pressed the tablet again, and the screen changed.

“Exclusive news, ladies and gentlemen! We have discovered the identity of Paris Number One Criminal! The one and only Hawk Moth!” Juleka said quickly in an excitable voice that everyone found uncharacteristically of her. Miss Bustier smiled, knowing that Marinette was being a good example for her. Everyone gasped, forgetting it was tabloid news.

The next screen had a very cool illustration of someone transforming into Hawk Moth. Everyone immediately knew who it was meant to be.

“WHAT? Marinette!” Alya protested, surprising no one. Except maybe Lila. “That is slander! There is no way Lila is Hawk Moth!” she turned to their teacher. “Miss Bustier, you can’t possibly allow Marinette to continue!”

“Actually, it was my idea” said Juleka, much more meekly than before. Miss Bustier frowned and looked sternly at Alya.

“We are supposed to do a tabloid, so of course we are doing something bogus and ridiculous. Besides, Lila knows we are only joking” Marinette winked at the rest of the class, who all laughed making Lila furious

“They are right. Statistically speaking, tabloid news are very likely to be fake news, or greatly exaggerated ones.”

“Thank you Max” said Miss Bustier. “Girls, you may continue with your presentation”

“Thanks!” Marinette pressed another button, and it was Lila as Volpina. “As we all know, Lila was akumatized the first day she started class with us, and…”

“That proves she’s not Hawk Moth! She can’t be akumatized and be hawk moth at the same time!” Alya practically jumped out of her seat. Miss Bustier looked at her disappointed. Marinette looked at her, but ignored her comment.

“As we all know, the power of Volpina dealt with Illusions, and one of her illusions was, precisely, that of Hawk Moth appearing in plain sight”

“Now, you are wondering, why is that important?” several classmates nodded. “Because up to that point, we had only seen Hawk Moth’s head made of butterflies back on the Stone Heart incident, and we didn’t see the actual Hawk Moth until much later, on Heroes day” Marinette pressed a button, and an image of the head of Hawk Moth made of butterflies appeared, along with a blurry picture of hawk moth the day of Volpina, and another higher quality picture of Heroes Day, everything with their respective credits.

“So, I ask, how did Lila, AKA Volpina know how Hawk Moth looked, when no one else did?”

The class breaks in whispers. They seem to forget again that it is supposed to be fake news.

“But Hawk Moth is a guy! An adult man!”

“All the better to cover herself by pretending her alter ego to be of other gender and age. Something she can do as Volpina”

“And speaking of Volpina… do you know where she took that name from?” Most of the class shook their head. “Well, interesting fact! Adrien Abigail Agreste…”

“Please don’t use my middle name”

“Duly noted. Adrien Agreste brought a book from home the same day that Lila appeared…”

“Oh, and what did that book contained?”

“Excellent question Juleka! The book contained information on the Miraculous and their past holders, and it was actually the property of Adrien’s father, Mister Gabriel Abigail Agreste”

Adrien just head desked.

“And Lila grabbed the book for inspection. Adrien almost caught her, so she just threw the book on the thrash”

“That makes no sense, how would I know what it contained? Heck, how do you know?” Alya did notice that Lila had not denied that she had taken the book.

“My house is in front of the park. I saw you guys and thought I would approach and say hi.”

“Didn’t you say you were eavesdropping?”

“They were talking when I approached them, so technically, yeah.”

“Wait… you recovered the book from the thrash? You were the one to return it to my father?”

Marinette blushed a deep shade.

“What? You mean that part is real? Dupain-Cheng is the reason you returned to school?”

“Well, I’m not saying Lila did took my father’s book, but it disappeared after she showed interest in it”

“I can’t believe you’re accusing me of…”

“We’re not, this is a tabloid, remember?”

“And continuing, Lila going abroad after that…”

“AHA! If Lila wasn’t here, it means she couldn’t have attacked! Seh was too far away!” Alya again almost jumped from her seat.

“I would like to remind everyone that we all went to space thanks to an akuma”

“Swimming in space was the best”

“So, Lila going abroad and then returning coincides with the appearance of Mayura, which can only mean that she went to search for the Peacock Miraculous”

“Right and I’m Mayura too?”

“That’s info for another article”

Kim raised his hand.

“We’re not making another article”

Kim lowered his hand, disappointed.

“So, like we were saying, it’s highly suspicious that Lila joined the class with a 90% akumatization rate”

“Actually, it’s 87.5% akumatization rate if we count Miss Bustier”

“We counted the doubles”

“Ah”

“Why would someone join the Akuma Class, if not for gain intel about how to get more akumas”

“Not to mention the other teachers and students that have been akumatized too. Our school is a focal point for akumas… almost like the akumas came from inside the school!”

Everyone went quiet, looking at Lila with dread. Even if Marinette and Juleka were joking, they were raising very fair points. Lila seemed to be contemplating this.

“And we all have been akumatized at one time or another.” Juleka eyed Marinette. “Well, most of us. And some of us have witnessed other people becoming akumas. A common thread is that Hawk Moth knows exactly what the person wants due to his empathy powers. And Lila is a good friend who always knows what to say to make us feel better. Coincidence? Or an innate ability granted by her miraculous?!”

Lila was wide eyed looking at the two in the front. Everyone else was whispering again.

“Of course, one of the most common symptoms post akumatization is the loss of memory of what one does as an akuma. So it stands to reason that Lila might not know that she is, in fact, Hawk Moth, especially if she akumatizes herself each time so Hawk Moth takes over"

“Any questions?”

Literally everyone raised their hand. Even Miss Bustier and Markov, despite him not having hands.

“Great! That concludes our presentation.”

“Excellent job girls, you get full marks!”

Marinette and Juleka high fived each other, and went to take their respective seats. Everyone kept staring at Lila. Nathaniel slided away from Lila so much he actually fell from his seat, landing on his butt. Lila was staring at her feet, having a bit of an existential crisis

“Adrien and Markov, you’re next”

#miraculous ladybug #ml au #ml fic #ml oneshot #Hawk Moth is #Lila Rossi #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Juleka Couffaine #Wackynette

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iamjjmmma · 4 years ago

Text

My Own MBTI Test (Yes, You Can Call It JJ’s MBTI Test)

Usually, I only use this account for SU purposes. However, I don’t have any other ideas as to where to post this other than my own website I don’t have the time or mental wherewithal to create as of now, and I really don’t want it hanging around in my docs in the chance of being deleted.

Basically, I made this due to the idea that MBTI tests you can find on the Internet tend to be clunky and long. Sure, they allow for variety, which allows for complexity in discerning your personality, but this also makes for what can be a frustratingly long experience. That being said, because of this test’s binary nature, it may not be completely accurate. However, it will make an attempt to distinguish both your general MBTI type and your specific composition of each of the four letters. As usual, let me know if you find anything wrong with the test.

Without further ado, let’s begin. For ease of taking the test, you can copy and paste, open a new post, and then bold what applies to you before reblogging it. Make sure to credit me.

General (this is used to obtain your type. Because of the binary nature of types, you must pick the one that most closely applies to you).

It’s been a long, mind-numbing, draining day at work. Your friends call and ask you to join them for a night on the town, with them covering all the costs. What do you say?

A: “No, thank you!”. Then, you settle in for a nice night of watching movies, eating comfort food, and having a hot bath. (Introvert)

B: “Sure!”. You then have fun with your friends. (Extrovert)

Would you rather have a career in which you work with your...

A: Hands (Sensory)

B: Mind (iNtuitive)?

Head or heart?

A: Head (Thinking)

B: Heart (Feeling)

Would you say that you’re quick to jump to conclusions (this includes if you’re prone to saying, “I don’t know all the information and can’t form a perfect conclusion from that, BUT here’s the conclusion I do have…”), or is it more natural to you not to form an opinion until you’ve examined every possible source? Be honest.

A: The Former (Judging)

B: The Latter (Perceiving)

The capital letter at the beginning determines your type (except for iNtuitive). For example, if you picked B, B, B, A, then your letters would be E, N, F, and J (ENFJ). Go back through the test now, see what you picked, and write your letters down accordingly.

Now, if you’d like a specific composition of how introverted and extroverted you are, then you need to take four more tests. (Don’t worry, it’ll still be shorter, and easier, than the vast majority of MBTI tests you find online.)

The Introvert/Extrovert Composition Test:

Which would you prefer to do on the weekends with no prior plans?

A: Have a deep, personal, one-on-one day spent with your best friend

B: Have a fun, but not too personal, outing spent with a group of friends

Where are you more productive?

A: Someplace quiet

B: Someplace loud

How would you describe yourself in terms of your speech?

A: Reserved, taciturn, reticent

B: Outgoing, talkative, jovial

When you want a friendship, you..

A: Wait for someone to take the initiative for you, and then eagerly join that friendship

B: Take the initiative yourself

In general, which are you more prone to feeling in social situations?

A: Overwhelmed, overstimulated

B: Bored, understimulated

Where would you prefer to be?

A: In the background, where you can lie low

B: In the center of attention, where you can show off

How do you feel when talking to people you’ve never met before?

A: Awkward

B: Energized

You tend to get more joy out of...

A: Reading a book at home

B: Watching a movie at a movie theater

At work, you’re seen as someone who’s..

A: Timid and meek

B: Brash and perhaps seen by others as overbearing

Finally, in general, after social interaction, you feel...

A: Drained

B: Satisfied/wanting more

Obviously, if you chose A more often, you’re more introverted, and if you chose B more often, you’re more extroverted. But add the number of times you circle A and B. For example, if you, in that ENFJ example, circle A 3 times and B 7 times, then your introvert/extrovert composition would be 30% introverted, 70% extroverted. (Note: If you choose 5 and 5, don’t automatically assume you’re an ambivert. True ambiverts are in fact incredibly rare, and you’re better off going with what you chose on good ol’ question 10 to determine whether or not you’re an introvert or an extrovert. You just swing very slightly that way and may have ambiverted functions, that’s all. In addition, pure introverts and pure extroverts are incredibly rare, which means that if you circled 10 on either side, you’re probably closer to being 95-99% of one or the other instead of 100%. Bottom line: everyone has some introversion and some extroversion.)

The Sensory/iNtuition Composition Test

How well do you tend to remember events from your past?

A: Very well

B: Poorly

In general, do you focus on the here and now, or do you tend to get distracted by other timeframes?

A: Here and now

B: Other timeframes

Do you often dwell on the past?

A: No

B: Yes

Do you often dwell on the future?

A: No

B: Yes

Which of the following beliefs best applies to you?

A: “I am who I am thanks to the past, and there’s nothing I can do to change it.”

B: “Who I am now is who I am now. The past doesn’t matter.”

Your romantic relationships with others are mostly driven by?

A: Your differences from the other person

B: Your similarities to the other person

What grades did you/are you getting in school?

A: Mostly C’s, D’s, F’s

B: Mostly C’s, B’s, A’s

Someone who is fundamentally incompetent in your field, but very high-ranking, and someone who is very low-ranking, but is shown to be fundamentally very competent in skills related to your field, are both making conversation with you, acting very condescending in the process. Which one would you kick out of the room first?

A: The low-ranking one

B: The one who is fundamentally incompetent in your field

Would you describe yourself as more results-oriented or more process-oriented?

A: Process-oriented

B: Results-oriented

Finally, would you describe yourself as someone who prefers to be more concrete or more abstract?

A: Concrete

B: Abstract

Again, if you chose A more often, you’re more sensory, and if you chose B more often, you’re more intuitive. But add the number of times you circle A and B. For example, if the ENFJ example chose A 1 time and B 9 times, then their sensory/intuitive composition would be 10/90. (Note: If you choose 5 and 5, you’re in the right for assuming that you’re an even split between the both of them… in fact, this is the most common even split in all of these tests, and, surprisingly, these won’t fundamentally affect your personality in any drastic way. You simply prefer to have a completely even balance of sensory input and intuition. In addition, pure sensors and pure intuitives are incredibly rare, which means that if you circled 10 on either side, you’re probably closer to being 95-99% of one or the other instead of 100%. Bottom line, just like in the introverted/extroverted test: everyone has some sensory and some intuitive preferences.)

The Thinking/Feeling Test. Possibly the easiest test you’ll take among these four.

You have an unlikely dream you want to pursue, such as being a famous musician without any income to help get you off the ground. Do you pursue it?

A: No

B: Yes

Would you rather be in a relationship with someone who’s guaranteed to give you a financially stable existence or be in a relationship with someone that you’re completely, utterly, madly in love with?

A: The former

B: The latter

Your business is doing poorly, and one of your employees is in danger of being laid off. You have just enough money in your bank account to keep him afloat in your company, but that’s just about all the money that you have. What do you do?

A: Fire him. It’s the tough choice, but the choice you’ll have to make for the good of everyone involved, including the employee.

B: Give him the money. It’s what he would’ve done for you, and there’s always ways to find more money through your family and friends.

Would you rather be alone forever or settle with a partner who is less than ideal for you?

A: Be alone forever

B: Settle for a partner who is less than ideal for me

Your friends invite you for a surprise trip across the country, visiting all of the places on everyone’s bucket list! However, this will require you taking 3-4 weeks off of work, as well as paying for all of your travel expenses, and perhaps some of your friends’, out of pocket. What do you do?

A: Decline the offer.

B: Accept the offer.

How do you react when you’re grieving?

A: I do my best to suppress my emotions and get myself and my family out of this crisis. I can go through my emotions later.

B: Go through my emotions as soon as I can. The sooner I do that, the sooner I can move on and help others move on as well.

Would you describe yourself as more liberal or conservative? (If you’re a centrist, just pick the closest one you lean to.)

A: Conservative

B: Liberal

Do you believe in soulmates?

A: No- there are over 4 billion adults on this planet. Statistically, there’s no way I can possibly meet them all, let alone whittle it down to the one person out of everyone who’s most ideal for me.

B: Yes, of course! Why else would someone choose to spend the rest of their lives with someone else?

It’s a Saturday night, you’re exhausted, and all you want to do is watch a movie. Which genre do you pick?

A: Something thought-provoking and based off of real events and concepts, such as a documentary or movies based on a true story.

B: Something unrealistic, but always sends you over the moon, such as a comedy or a romance.

Finally, what would you say personally rules over you the most?

A: My head

B: My heart

Again, if you chose A more often, you’re more thinking, and if you chose B more often, you’re more feeling. But add the number of times you circle A and B. For example, if the ENFJ example chose A 5 times and B 5 times, then their thinking/feeling composition would be 50/50. (Note: If you choose 5 and 5, you’re in the right for assuming that you’re an even split between the both of them… in fact, this is the second most common even split in all of these tests, and, surprisingly, these won’t fundamentally affect your personality in any drastic way. You simply prefer to have a completely even balance of being ruled by logic and being ruled by your emotions. In addition, pure thinkers and pure feelers are incredibly rare and are more caricatures than anything, which means that if you circled 10 on either side, you’re probably closer to being 95-99% of one or the other instead of 100%. Bottom line, just like before- everyone is ruled to some capacity by logic, and to some capacity by their emotions.)

Finally, the Judging/Perceiving Composition Test.

You’ve just woken up in the morning, and you’re deciding what to do for the day. What are you most likely to do?

A: Make a to-do list

B: Just stay in tune with yourself and do whatever you’d like to do

You’ve just planned a trip to the East Coast, but a hurricane suddenly hits, as it often does, and all your plans for what you’re going to do for these next three days are ruined. How do you react to this?

A: With anger, constantly checking in to see if the hurricane will end, and making plans B, C, and D

B: In stride- hey, there was always a chance this could happen, and besides, this is a chance to stay in and play board games!

How do you approach work?

A: As work. Play can be saved for later.

B: As play- sometimes, I make it a game to see how quickly I can do tasks, see how many coffee breaks I can take without others noticing, or see what potential pranks i can lay on people.

In terms of priorities, how do you approach work?

A: Work is always first-priority. That way, what I want to do can be saved for later without further interruptions.

B: Work is always as far back in the priority list as possible- I don’t want to be a killjoy.

A new goal appears in front of you. How blind are you to things such as your immediate surroundings, new information, and the names and details of new people that come across you during this time?

A: Very

B: Not very much so; I can keep everything scoped in front of me

How do others tend to perceive you?

A: No-nonsense, structured, and rigid

B: Flexible, relaxed, and open for anything

Which of the following is closest to your work style?

A: In long-term efforts, with short breaks in between

B: In short bursts, with long breaks in between

An approaching deadline looms for one of your school assignments. What is your reaction?

A: Calm...I’ve done this assignment two weeks ago, and can now work ahead to work due later this month.

B: Panic...I’ve only gotten this halfway done, and I only have a few hours to do the rest!

Do you tend to make decisions the moment they’re needed?

A: Yes

B: No- often, I’m so busy sorting through the given information that I miss it when it happens

Finally, do you see yourself as someone who quickly makes judgements on certain issues, or someone who takes care to view every side of the argument before voicing an opinion?

A: The former

B: The latter

Again, if you chose A more often, you’re more judging, and if you chose B more often, you’re more perceiving. But add the number of times you circle A and B. For example, if the ENFJ example chose A 7 times and B 3 times, then their judging/perceiving composition would be 70/30. (Note: If you choose 5 and 5, you’re in the right for assuming that you’re an even split between the both of them… in fact, this is the third most common even split in all of these tests. However, this will end up changing your personality drastically, and may change most of your functioning style to the point where people sometimes see you as unpredictable or chaotic. In addition, pure judgers and pure perceivers are actually somewhat common. However, you should also take into consideration if that happens that if you circled 10 on either side, you’re still probably closer to being 95-99% of one or the other instead of 100%. Bottom line, just like before- everyone judges, and everyone perceives.)

#mbti #personality test #i'm an estj #let me know what you guys got!

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dragon-writer · 5 years ago

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Aaron Hernandez

Just finished the Aaron Hernandez miniseries. I don’t watch American “football,” so I didn’t know him. It was just up on Netflix.

By the first time you hear the slurred speech, I’m like, “Please don’t tell me this obviously brain damaged man is currently doing life in prison somewhere.” That was my first nightmarish thought and it turned into a horror show/suspense right off the bat because I didn’t know anything and I didn’t want to google it...

By episode two, it’s almost a comedy. Joker style. A comedy of very deliberate errors.

Parents who push their children in order for them to “make it” are good in a sense, but also kind of abusive, especially when you’re pushing them to excel at violent things.

It’s not like God parted the skies and commanded Aaron to make it to the SuperBowl. It’s just an ego weak kid listening to his father. And then the Patriots with their military “football is life” bullshit just stepped in to keep it going... He’s just introjecting these neurotic drives one after the other at higher and higher levels because he’s talented enough to compensate... Nightmare.

I mean, I didn’t have to deal with trauma on that scale, but it’s a cold sobering moment when that disillusionment sets in and you realise that you’re physically and mentally irrevocably damaged because someone sold you on an idea. Because someone said jump when you were six and you just kept jumping till your twenties.

And this is why I hate movies like Split that make dissociation seem like a magic trick that comes with cool powers. Sometimes, it’s as simple as breaking off a piece of yourself that doesn’t jump. That’s capable of anger and doing simple things like saying no. That doesn’t have to provide for anyone.That doesn’t have to represent a community. That isn’t being graded and statistically analysed.

You create something that isn’t bound up in the same stranglehold you find yourself in.

We used to have a dog that they kept on a chain, day in day out, never barked, and they used to joke that if it ever got loose it was either going to run off or maul somebody. That’s what happens when you slip a leash and break out of an imposed routine of compliance. Sometimes you play cool and try to blend, sometimes you go werewolf.

So yeah, I hate when abused, mentally ill or brain damaged people commit suicide. TVs, movies, real life, true crime. And then everyone is like, “The demon is slain!” as the sun starts shining down on Pride Rock once more. Fuck that. It might sound shitty, it might actually be shitty, but my moral stance is that it’s better to plan a homicide than a suicide. There’s that noble way of looking at it as if a suicide is protecting other people, but I mean, your own life and health has to be your number one priority. It’s like they say in MMA, protect yourself at all times.

And he’s in this sport where he’s being repeatedly injured while holding on to a ball, protecting a ball.. and it just occured to me, that the whole point of American football is using your body however violently to protect a ball because “Culture, money, entertainment...”

And they made so much ado about the 40 million contract! How much of that did he actually get? Meanwhile his owner is worth something like 6 billion and he’s doing fine. Nothing traumatic going on there. He’s what, 80? Are there any stories about how dangerous it is to be an owner?

There were so many red flags. So many...

By episode 2, he’s just like... impulse killing. No planning, the most half-assed cover-up, and it’s sad because it’s just a really slow suicide all in all, but I’m still watching it because it’s really kind of unbelievable that it’s happening in the first place. He’s gone from shooting strangers to shooting friends to shooting people who were basically extended family, like a death spiral. So at this point, I’m worried for him and Shay and the baby...

And then he’s in prison for life, and for the nightmare that the story was so far, this is like a happy ending. I start coming up with possible endings... “Oh, so he got some therapy inside and he’s working in the prison library writing Harry Potter fanfiction or something. Gets at least monthly visits with his child...”

And then he kills himself and they’re doing slide shows on his brain in universities, like “Could you believe how fucked up the brain of this person was - this is so shocking! So he wasn’t just an evil killer? His brain was degenerated after a decade and change of chronic trauma in the name of a billion dollar industry sport that’s only played in one country? Wow?”

Who gets to 27 with that kind of neurological degeneration undetected? Wouldn’t he have had access to the very best neurologists, psychiatrists, etc? It’s not some asymptomatic condition that springs up on you overnight. They didn’t have to cut his brain open after death to figure this out.

And that’s off Medscape. You don’t need to be an advanvced pathologist to solve this mystery. And that’s why I think I’m upset at Netflix and whoever else made this for making a sensational drama out of it like there was some giant puzzle to be solved as to why he did it. All the rumours about his sexuality when the man’s already dead to garner more media attention and get people talking.

The man had stage 3 CTE. Giant-ass ventricles at 27. Record breaking. He’s the youngest person on record with such advanced degeneration. So maybe when he started shooting people on impulse it had less to do with his sexual experimentation and more to do with the fact there were holes in his brain. To feel yourself slipping away like that for years. Everyone’s fantasy on the outside, literally hollow on the inside.

I mean, I’m looking at pictures of the man’s brain on a slab after midnight and reading the suicide notes he left like, “Well, he didn’t lose his spelling...”

What the fuck, Netflix? I needed a trigger warning on that.

I don’t want to hate on the sport, I just think it’s stupid. But then I follow another sport where a man was apparently fighting for years with one eye... Doctors let him fight with one eye even though his “good” eye isn’t all that good either...

It’s the same story of billionaires giving you shit pay for your life and organs. Same story of straw dogs. The only thing that made Aaron special is that he was young and good looking and his brain broke before his body so he wasn’t some irrelevant reitree. They didn’t juice him for everything he was worth so it’s all about wasted potential...

The players at the end talking about how fine and healthy and normal they are... “Concussions never hurt me. Brain damage is a natural part of life. Thousands of us have CTE and we haven’t killed anyone...” It’s so disturbing.

It’s like an ongoing international True Crime.

So to end this note-to self rant, moral of the day - disappoint who you have to disappoint, hurt who you have to hurt. Don’t disappoint yourself, don’t hurt yourself.

#aaron hernandez #chronic traumatic encephalopathy #neurosis #mma #ufc #michael bisping #american football #played in only one country #sports #traumatic brain injury #mental illness #tw: suidice

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ellana-ravenwood · 6 years ago

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“My mom thinks you’re cute” - Jason Todd x Singlemom!Reader Part 1/5

I had this scenario requested on so many occasions that I thought it was finally time to get to it. So, without further ado, here’s some Jaybird who’s about to have his life turned upside down by a little boy determined to set him up with his mamma. Hope you’ll like it :

FINISHED SERIES : PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5 NEWLY ADDED EPILOGUE : PART 1/3

My masterlist blog : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

******

Living in Gotham while being broke wasn’t easy.

Living in Gotham while being broke and a single mom ? Nearly impossible.

And yet, that’s what you, and many other single parents, somehow manage to do every day, surviving paycheck to paycheck.

“Um, you shouldn’t have had a kid if you couldn’t afford it !”, you often heard rich schmucks say on TV. This kind of comment always annoyed you to no end. Because those people didn’t know the facts. They didn’t know what happened. They just assumed, when looking at you and people “like you”, that you were irresponsible and got yourself knocked up by accident (as if, by the way, getting pregnant happened alone and it was always only the mother’s fault).

They judged you, thinking they knew exactly how things went in your life. Thinking you were just another statistic from a poor neighborhood. Even more so since you had your son while you were quite young (which didn’t mean anything, there are amazing young parents, and terrible forty something ones).

But without much surprise, they were all wrong.

You were responsible. You had plans for the future. You were in a comfortable enough financial situation. You were having a kid with your long time boyfriend that you were suppose to marry that same summer. Both of you wanted a kid, things were right.

Except that there was an unforeseen event that kinda threw all your plans through the window, and left you struggling and heartbroken.

“You shouldn’t have had a kid if you couldn’t afford it !” But hey, how could you have planned that your long time boyfriend that you were suppose to marry would suddenly freak out and bolt without a goodbye ? Leaving just a note saying : “it’s too much”, taking all of his stuffs while you were visiting a friend and moving from Gotham never to be seen again ?

Did those people, who thought they knew better and looked down upon you, even had any idea what you went through ? Of course they didn’t.

In the span of a night, you went from “financially comfortable with tons of plans for the future” to “single, about to give birth, soon to be very broke”.

You were at the end of your term, and had to find a new and cheaper apartment ASAP as you couldn’t afford the one you had so far, not on your own. A very pregnant you didn’t even have time to actually be sad or mad about the father of your child leaving you alone mere days before the due date, that a million responsibilities you were suppose to share suddenly downed on you.

All the costs that were supposed to be split in two fell on your shoulders alone, the life of your future baby laid only in your hands !!

You had no close family to help, no “the dad of my child is actually a coward” back up plan, no friends that could lend you some money and oh you could forget about taking a loan at any banks “single mom, unemployed” wasn’t really a good pedigree.

Oh yes, because of course you were counting on your other half, trusting him when he said “one of us need to be there for the baby in the first few weeks ! And I make more than you right now so...” and so you took maternity leaves that were obviously unpaid but now you couldn’t possibly go back to your job anyway, you couldn’t afford a baby sitter !

Everything went to shit so fast. And you ended up joining the circle of “struggling single parents” while you thought you had everything figured out.

So. Yeah. Fuck those people on TV who never had to struggle a day in their life that just judge you like that ! They knew nothing about you, or your son. They had no clue about the chains of event that got you here, right now...

Here. Working late in a bar to make ends meet. Serving exactly the people who judged you whenever they saw you take out coupons at the supermarket.

Thanks God it was almost the end of your very long day. Working two jobs and taking care of a kid was exhausting...But something you ended up being used to it.

You had to do this for the past seven years after all. And in the end, it was worth it. Sure, it wasn’t easy, and you often stressed about how you’d pay your next bills but...You made sure your boy never needed anything, never went hungry (even if you did sometimes) etc etc.

And sure things didn’t really turn out how you expected them to be when you found out you were pregnant, but it was worth it.

Because your son...Oh your son, he was just the greatest.

Viggo. Your precious little prince.

You named him after the actor, “Viggo Mortensen”, because when your cowardly fiance left, one of your first thought, for some reasons, was : “Aragorn would never have left...”. Now “Aragorn” was a little too extra, so you settled for “Viggo”. Plus, it went really well with your last name.

Right now, he was being babysat by your neighbor, who also happened to be your best friend. Thank god you had at least one great friend on whom you could count when you had to work late.

Which was more often than you wished it to be.

You were already sulking about the next morning, knowing you’d have only a few hours of sleep before you had to take Viggo to school, when it happened.

“Well hello there beautiful lady. No one told me such...sexy girls worked in this shit bar ! Why did no one tell me that such sexy girls worked in this shit bar ?!”

You purse your lips as you were putting away glasses behind the bar, and try to compose yourself as best you could before turning to face the client that was talking to you.

At this hour of the night, in the middle of the week, the bar was pretty empty. Only the hard drinkers were left. Most likely, the man facing you right now was drunk out of his mind. It was near closing time after all, those who were in a bar near closing time in the middle of the week didn’t come to play darts.

“Hello sir, what can I get ya ?”

You force yourself to be polite. You found out years ago that the more polite you are, the more you ignore their stupid comments, the better it is.

“Your number, you beautiful creature.”

He says, as the friend accompanying him chuckles dumbly and looks at you, eager to see your reaction. He probably hopes you’ll snap or something, giving him a nice show. You have to gather all of your will to not utter a “gross”, and just keep on smiling.

It’s not even that the guy isn’t good looking. He’s not really your style but he isn’t ugly. And you know that when drunk, some people get overconfident and blahblahblah. But it’s just...He said it in such a sleazy way. Makes you shiver.

The way he leans on the bar and look at you as if you were his next meal. The way he smiles thinking he’s so damn charming. The way he’s trying to show off his rolex on his wrist, so you know he’s loaded (you had the occasional business man, in the “shit bar” you were working at..). It just made you uncomfortable and kinda grossed you out.

Who did he think you were ? Who did he think he was ? Fortunately, you came up quite a while ago with just the trick for those situations. With a wide smile you say :

“Your number coming right up !”

The man stares at you with drunken eyes, probably surprised that it worked this time ! But then you take out a shaker from behind the bar and start pouring alcohol and mixers in it. You juggle a bit with the shaker, giving the extremely confused man a show, before pouring everything in a glass and saying :

“Here’s your number. Great choice, it’s one of our best cocktail.”

There wasn’t any cocktails called “your number”, of course. You just made a very generic “long island ice tea” and pretended to do something way fancier than it really was. It’s a gimmick you discovered quite a while ago now, pretending that “your number” is an actual cocktail you make, and acting as if you don’t understand what the people saying that are really asking.

It “saved your life” more than once. When a client is being particularly annoying or just like this guy, a tad too drunk to realize they’re being creepy (or being plain creepy), you’d just say : “Oh one of our best cocktail !” and make them a “your number”. They would usually be too stunned to react much, which would give you time to escape or something.

You worked for the past two years at this bar, doing closing hours a few times a week to make ends meet. And it always worked...except today.

The guy in front of you was probably someone important. Not used to be mocked, or to hear the word “no”. And he realized instantly you were just trying to distract him...He wouldn’t let you do that. You were the employee of this bar, you had to do what he wanted !

As you set the glass in front of him, he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you toward him. Surprised, you don’t have time to resist as you slam against the bar. It kinda knocks the wind out of you.

You turn to see that Bobby, the security guard, is outside, talking to a few clients, not paying attention. Of course...It was almost closing time, things rarely happened in those few last minutes ! Plus tonight had been busy and he skipped his break, he probably just let his guard down thinking it was ok.

Well. No help will come from there. You turn to the man who grabbed you, and you can see in his eyes that the alcohol is the sole reason why he’s acting so agressive.You try to wiggle your wrist free, but he pulls you harder.

“Hey, I asked nicely, what’s your problem ? I’m a customer here, customer is king !”

The next few things happened so fast, that you’re left wondering if you just hallucinated it or not.

Another guy comes in and grabs the drunk client by his own wrist. With one quick and merciless twist he makes him let go of you. Drunk guy let’s out a pained scream as New Guy takes hold of his shirt and says, in a deep and calm voice :

“The lady gave you what you wanted.”

Without letting go of the drunk’s collar, the new guy takes the cocktail you just made, shoves it in the hand of the drunk, and then lets go of him, pointing to a seat at the back of the bar.

“Shoo.”

Drunk Client isn’t an idiot. He can see that the new guy is double his size and the way he made him let go of you, just with a simple twist of his hand (hurt like a motherfucker by the way)...Yup, he knows he’d stand no chance in a fight.

So he awkwardly and clumsily takes a few steps back, looks at you, and then back at new guy, and leaves. Just like that. He goes to sit at the table the new guy was pointing at, avoiding eye contact with him, and in a matter of seconds, this all thing is over.

Still a bit shocked at how fast everything went, you turn to the new guy and...Yup. Suspicion confirmed. You already saw him before.

You never really talked to him, and most of the time your colleague had been the one to serve him. You never really paid attention to him, most of the time being too busy for that. You just know you saw him before, in that same bar.

“Um...thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Dude was being an ass.”

He says, smiling at you nicely. And oh wow. Why the hell didn’t you notice him more before ? Tall. Handsome. Muscular. Smile to kill for. Crazy blue eyes and dark hair. Jawline that you’d gladly get cut on...How the hell did. You. Not. Notice. Him. More. Before ?!

“Did he hurt you ?”

“No, no he didn’t. Got the wind knocked out o’ me a bit, but I’m fine. Thanks to you.”

“Good then.”

And then he sits at the bar in front of you, with his beer.

You’re not sure what to say, you already thanked him twice saying it a third time would be a bit too much. But you do want to talk to him. Know his name maybe. But he seems like the kind of guy who only gives short answers and you don’t want to bother him. Though he did sit down in front of you...You’re gathering up the courage to ask him but he’s faster than you :

“Name’s Jason by the way. And you are...(Y/N), right ?”

A bit taken aback about the fact that he knows your name, you say :

“Yeah. Yeah it is. How...do you know ?”

“Well, I’m pretty sure you have no idea who I am but I’ve been here before. I heard your colleague call you that a few times."

There’s a short pause, where you just stare at him a bit awkwardly. He completely misinterpret your awkwardness and hurriedly says :

“I’m not a creep or anything, I just...heard and uh, picked up on it and uh...Yeah. I realize that, “I’m not a creep” is exactly what a creep would say, so Imma just shut up. But I promise, not a creep.”

Ah. But you weren’t thinking he was a creep because he remembered your name after hearing your colleague calling you that a few times. Nope. You’re actually trying not to blush because that extremely hot guy REMEMBERED your name after hearing your colleagues calling you a few times !

Like wow, he noticed you somehow ! He noticed you enough to remember your name ! Ok. Now you were the one being creepy, blowing that simple fact way out of proportion. He probably just pays attention to his surroundings and that’s it ! Like the few times you saw him, drinking on his own in a corner of the bar, you always thought he looked like he was thinking too much so...

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable just now. I knew I should have pretended I didn’t know your name. Well, that sounds bad too. Um. I’m sorry. I just uh...heard it...and I already said that didn’t I ? Sorry.”

You’re kinda...Surprised. You thought he was the kind of guy to not talk much. He looked liked the kind of guys that didn’t talk much. Leather jacket, jeans, rings on his fingers, a kind of neglige haircut...You pegged him for one of those mysterious guy you know ? The ones in movies that um, don’t talk much.

It didn’t help that the first few words you heard him say, as he talked to the Drunk Guy were exactly fitting that stereotype you had in your head. Short sentences, and a very chill and cool demeanor. And then when he asked you if you were hurt, to the point. When he'd told you his name too, it was quick. He only started to ramble as you seemed taken aback by the fact he knew your name...

It didn’t help either that you only ever saw him sitting on his own. Drinking just a little bit, not actually getting drunk. And just...Staying there for hours, not moving. You really thought he was just that kind of “bad boy” type you know ? And here he was, rambling and apologizing and looking unsure and...it was kinda cute.

“I realize I probably should go sit somewhere else. Sorry. I helped you, and that’s it. No need to talk to me. Or feel like you owe me anything or something. You said thanks, that’s it. We good. Sorry. I shouldn’t have sat down here, you were working, I’m bothering you. Now I can’t seem to shut up ! I’m...Yeah. Sorry.”

He’s standing up now, and you almost lunge at him as you hurriedly say :

“No no no, it’s fine. Please sit down. I mean, if you want. I was just...lost in thoughts a little bit !”

He actually seems relieved and sits back down before saying :

“Oh I can understand. You just had quite an...eventful couple of last minutes what with that asshole attacking you and me rambling like an idiot.”

"Oh you weren’t rambling like an idiot, don’t worry. I’m sorry I didn’t answer and just stared like a crazy person haha.”

“I didn’t feel like you were staring don’t worry. Plus like I said, I understand, you just went through...Ah once again, I was about to repeat myself.”

He chuckles nervously and you’re kind of blown away by the fact you seem to be the one making him nervous. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking. After all, what wouldn’t you give to make a guy like that nervous uh ?

“Well, thank you again. I have no idea what I would have done if you hadn’t been there. Or rather, I know what I would’ve done, but it would have gotten me fired and that would have suuuucked.”

He smiles at you and chuckles again, this time because you actually made him laugh. Curious, he asks :

“What would you have done ?”

“See that pitcher ? By the sink ? Conveniently close to where my hand was ?”

“Yeah.”

“Would’ve smash it on his head.”

“Self-defense ! Surely you wouldn’t have gotten fired for that yeah ?”

“Oh I would. If Bobby, the security guard over there, isn’t involved...my boss just instantly assume we have a short temper and fire us.”

“That’s ridiculous, you’ve been working here for a while right ? He would know by now you don’t have a short temper ? ”

Oh. There it is again. Hinting that he noticed you before. At least he knows you’ve been working here a while, and he looked at you enough to know you don’t have a short temper. Or maybe, once again, it’s just wishful thinking ?

But then, by the way he hurriedly takes a sip of his drink, and avoid your eyes, as if he just realized he once again admitted that he noticed you...Maybe you are right. You wonder if the little pink on his cheeks is here because of the booze, or because he’s embarrassed.

“So, Jason. You um...pick up on things pretty easily uh ?”

Welp. You didn’t mean for it to sound so flirty, and yet it came out of your mouth just like that. Damn. You just wanted to tease him a bit about him noticing you and all. Just be a bit, you know, witty or something. Or maybe you just wanted to reassure yourself that he was indeed a very observant man and just came to the bar to people watch, so of course he saw you ? You weren’t too sure. What was sure, is that you didn’t mean for it to be that flirty.

And once again, his response takes you completely by surprise. You thought he was gonna ramble some more, being cute and all or something like that. You were hoping he wouldn’t get offended by your mocking tone (that ended up being flirty anyway). You weren’t expecting him to pull a 180 on you and flirt back :

“Yes and no. I only pick up on interesting things.”

Oh. Oh smooth motherfucker.

************

Jason was walking back to his apartment, unable to take you out of his mind.

He had been going to the bar you were working at for months. He only noticed you a few weeks ago though. Usually, your colleague, a very beautiful woman called “Carla” would serve him. And he often flirted with her quickly as she gave him his drinks.

But then one day, you’re the one that asked “what can I get ya ?” and everything changed. He didn’t flirt that much with Carla anymore.

And he always kinda wished you’d be the one taking his order, but Carla always ended up coming first. Which made sense, since he flirted with her all the time and she seems to like him...

He tried to sit anywhere in the bar, to see which part of the room you took care of the most... Only to realize that you guys didn’t have a part of the room you took most care of and kinda worked all around. Damn.

So he settled on just observing you from afar, in the hope that one day he’d get the guts to talk to you. He just didn’t want to bother you, you know. Even more so since he saw that you basically always found a way to not reciprocate any kind of flirting...maybe you were already taken ?

But then that wouldn’t explain tonight. The perfect opportunity arose when he stepped in to help you, and you ended up talking for ages. The bar was calm, so you had the time to, as you cleaned glasses and such.

And he was pretty sure you flirted with him. Pretty sure you knew what he was doing as well. Sure, it started out with him rambling a lot of nonsense and acting like a crazy person, but then once you said “so you pick up on things easily uh ?”...It started.

His awkwardness left him. Ha. It’s funny, everyone always assume he’s a very smooth and charming man. That he has that bad boy look down to a point, and can talk to any girl but...more often than not, he found himself unable to talk to the girls he actually liked, while he was able to flirt with any others.

Like that friendly flirting time with “Carla”, who was just his bartender. While the flirting with you..

Ugh. Jason couldn’t stop thinking about you. Couldn’t get you out of his head. He didn’t even know why, when you first served him a few weeks ago, he kinda fell under your spell. He just...he was...you mesmerized him and there was something about you that made him wanna know more and...

Uh. Reason had nothing to do with what he felt. He liked you without even knowing you. It happened sometimes.

Sometimes even, when you start to talk to someone you like without knowing, you realize it won’t actually work and you can move on and all. More often than not actually, this happened to him. Crushing on someone only to realize they’re really not his type.

And here you were. You guys talked all night...Ugh. His head was full of thoughts about everything, unable to untangle anything.

He guessed he just had to go back to the bar and find out more uh ?

************

He did exactly that. At least once a week, he would skip patrol to come to the bar. Which he already did before anyway, except that before it was less regular. He would skip any time his dad was getting on his nerve, which was often but not regularly. While coming there at least once ? Yup.

He found out that Tuesdays and Wednesdays, for some reasons, were the calmest nights, and always ended up coming on those so he could talk to you.

He didn’t ask you out though, still a bit wary as he saw you too many times saying “no” to people...But he came nonetheless. Every Tuesdays or Wednesdays. Sometimes on more nights if his siblings or father annoyed him.

And you guys talked. About anything really. And his crush on you ? Didn’t disappear. Oh, he just have to ask you out one day or another...just, not tonight.

************

You started to like him. A lot. But he didn’t ask you out and it was getting frustrating...at the same time, it was good. Because you still didn’t mention the fact that you had a kid, and you were pretty sure that as soon as he would know, he’d run away...

For now, it was nice to have someone to talk you during your long work hours.

************

If there’s one thing you learned in those seven years of being a mom...It’s that kids picked up on things way more than you think they would.

For example, say a bad word once, and your child is gonna repeat it forever. Or say that you don’t like much a person, and the next time you see this person, your kiddo is gonna blurt out “My mom think you’re awful” or something.

So this is why right now, you really could slap yourself and the fact that you totally forgot about that thing kids do...It would have gotten you out of this very awkward moment for sure.

Why ? Why did you discuss this with your best friend AT HOME when your son was PLAYING NEXT to you two ? Of course he’d hear and store everything in this little genius head of his. Nothing ever escape Viggo’s attention.

What a mistake to think that, because he was playing on his Game Boy DS he wouldn’t pay attention to what you were saying. Especially since you were talking about a guy...You rarely talked about guys.

Your best friend did. Many times. But you rarely had “heart stories” to tell her. Until those past few days, as you started to regularly ramble to her about this “Jason” guy !

Damn. For real. Why didn’t you think of talking about this only after Viggo’s bed time ? Only when he was out of earshot ?

It would have avoided this very awkward situation right now...

You were at the park with your son and your best friend, on a sunny Saturday afternoon when...You turned around suddenly, and your friend and son looked at you weirdly as you were trying to hide behind them. You murmured :

“It’s him. It’s him over there, it’s Jason.”

As you eyes the place where he was and...Yup sure enough it was Jason. He was with another rather handsome man. And they were...Stretching ? They were both wearing sweat pants (thanks god for the existence of sweat pants, what a nice bottom Jason had) and compressing shirt (thanks god for those too). Probably came to the park to run or something.

For now, he didn’t see you and you could still have a chance to leave without being seen. You weren’t too sure why you didn’t want him to see you...It made you feel very guilty once you realized that it was because Viggo was there.

You didn't want to be “ashamed” of having a son. And frankly, if he was interested in you but ran away because you had a kid, then he wasn’t worth it but...in that moment your brain didn’t work properly. You just didn’t want him to see you, and that was it.

But this was without counting on your way too smart boy...

“MOM !! CAN I HAVE ICE CREAM PLEASE ?!”

He yelled, pulling you by the sleeve and pointing at the ice cream cart that was conveniently placed right next to Jason and his friend. You glared at him, because oh you knew exactly what he was doing. He answered with a smug smile, and yelled once more :

“I REALLY LIKE ICE CREAM MOM, CAN YOU GET ME ICE CREAM PLEASE ?!”

He would have never yelled that loud normally. You knew instantly that he was going to force you to confront Jason. Why ? Why did you have to give birth to a smart ass ? Way too damn smart for his own good.

Of course, the fact that he was screaming and pulling you as you were trying to “discreetly” make him stop attracted Jason’s and his friend’s attention. He turned to you and his a wide smile appeared on his face.

“(Y/N) ?”

You stopped struggling with your son, and gave a good ol’ glare to your best friend who was chuckling because of all this, and turned to Jason. You acted as if you didn’t notice the fact your best friend and your son just high fived, and say :

“Oh hey Jason. Um. Fancy seeing you here...”

You’re avoiding his eyes and you know he’s a bit confused by that, but you just..don’t know what to say. Well, you know what ? It’s fine that you don’t, because you have a very talkative and not very shy son who just says :

“Jason ? Oh ! You’re the Jason uh ?”

“The Jason ?”

You ponder for a minute grabbing your kid and just putting your hand on his mouth, stopping him from saying much more...but then you think maybe it might be suspicious and that you’re screwed either way. So you just settle for glaring at him, and oh that smug look he gives you !

“Yeah, my mom talked about you a few time. If you’re the Jason of course. How do you know my mom ?”

“Your...mom ? Uh..I met...um...”

The man accompanying Jason seems very pleased with the entire situation and keeps smiling way too much. So you glare at him too. This isn’t funny ok ? This is embarrassing and possibly heartbreaking. This is exactly why you tried to avoid Jason seeing you, and why of course, your son started yelling about ice cream.

You keep repeating to yourself that he would have find out one day or another anyway...Actually you’re pretty sure that if he actually had asked you out, the first thing you would have mention is the fact that you have a son. But still...Like that...Ugh...

Your best friend chuckle and so you glare at her too. It’s glaring season ! And oh it kinda makes you nervous the way Jason doesn’t answer your kid’s question...And then Viggo says :

“You don’t remember how you met ? Oh you’re probably not the Jason then. My bad. Mom, can we get ice cream now ?”

It’s something, really, when a seven year old is that smart and knows exactly what to bring back people back to their senses. It seems like his last few words dropped a bucket of ice cold water over Jason’s head and he says :

“I met her at her work. I met your mom at her work.”

And then he looks at you, and smile. And...What ? What does that mean ? Is he still interested ? Well, if he ever was actually interested...

“Library, coffee shop, book shop, restaurant, or bar ?”

Viggo asks, and Jason seems even more taken aback about that than about the fact you have a kid. You never mentioned having different jobs, because you didn’t want him to know you were broke. He looks at you again, and answer :

“Um. Bar.”

“Ah, so you are the Jason ! I thought you’d be taller...”

Jason turns to your son again, and asks :

“What do you mean, “the” Jason ?”

“That you’re the one my mom talked about with Aunt Ally !”

Ally, your best friend. Who’s having the time of her life right now. She always loved when your son embarrassed you in public, because that child was really smart, and funny. She waves a bit at Jason and nods, as to confirm that yup, you did talk with her about a certain “Jason”.

Jason looks at you again and takes the exact same smug look your son had a few minutes before, and says :

“Ah ? Talking about me uh ?”

“Yup. She thinks you’re cute.”

At that, Jason’s friends and Ally BURST OUT laughing and you’re thinking for a few seconds about calling 911 because they don’t seem to breath between all that laughing..

Both you and Jason turn bright red, all sign of smugness on Jay’s face disappearing instantly. You blush for obvious reasons, and Jason because...You think he’s cute ! Does that mean you actually like him and the talk at the bar means something ? That if he asks you out you’re not going to turn him down like you turned everyone down so far ?

“She um...she does uh ?”

He manages to say, and Viggo nods vigorously.

“Oooooh yeaaah. Aunt Ally and her talked about it for ages. She thinks your...”

This time, you think it’s appropriate to grab your son and put your hand on his mouth, shutting him up. Because you don’t know what he’s about to say, but you know it’s going to be mortifying. You haven’t realized until now how much you talked about Jason and his...physical (and mental) attribute with your best friend. Again, Jay’s friend and yours laugh even more.

And you and Jason just awkwardly look at each others...Your son takes your hand away from his mouth and looks up at you. The pleading look you give him makes him understand he maybe went a bit too far (he makes a mental note that he’ll have to apologies later. Maybe by cooking your favorite cake with aunt Ally ?), so he turns to Jason and say :

“Why, you don’t think she’s cute ?”

He punctuates his question by narrowing his eyes at Jason and...Damn, your boy will never cease to amaze you. How did that kid know which words to say exactly to get reactions out of people ? Impressive.

Jason looks at you a bit panicked, and then at your boy, back at you, back at your boy. Suddenly, the idea that you might think he doesn’t think you’re cute too terrifies him and he says :

“Oh no no no. I think your mom is very cute ! I think she’s like...the cutest !”

It makes you blush a bit more, but also fills you with stupid happiness. The guy you liked, thought you were cute ! ...It made you feel a bit silly too, because you felt like you were back in high school and had send one of your friend to ask your crush if he liked you back...

“Then why didn’t you ask her out on a date yet ?”

Ok. This was time for you to find your voice back and finally cut in. So far, you could only witness helplessly as your son smooth talk everything, and your best friend just laughed. But this time, you had to jump in, right ?

“Um this is...uh...I never said...uuuuuum...I...Didn’t you want ice cream, honey ?”

Without much surprise, you’re unable to actually formulate an actual sentence. It’s because too many people are here. You can’t think straight with your best friend and Jason’s friend and your SON here. Witnessing this very awkward first “I like you” kind of confession. So you continue :

“Um, Ally, would you be so kind as to take him get his ice cream ?”

Your son knows what you’re doing now. You’re getting rid of him, so he can’t set you up with “The Jason” further ! it’s his turn to glare at you a little bit, because he’s afraid you’re gonna chicken out and decide to say your son was crazy or something and not go through with that all “asking each other out things” he just settled.

Viggo heard you talk about “The Jason” for the past few months almost every single nights. He never heard you talk about any men that long ! You had flings and all, but never anything serious. He heard you talk about his dad a few times, and how you didn’t actually want a serious thing anymore but...you talked a lot about Jason !

Your son just wanted you to be happy. And by the things you said about “The Jason”, he seemed like a cool guy ! And...

“Dick, didn’t you say that after all those efforts with just made, you wanted an ice cream too ?”

Jason’s voice takes your son out of his reveries. The man is looking at his “friend” who is still chuckling on his own. “Dick” seems to get the message and gives a knowing look to Jason. And it reassures Viggo a bit, to see it’s the same kind of look he just gave his mom. The one that meant : “Come on, just do it”.

Dick walks a towards the ice cream truck before stopping and turning around :

“Ah. By the way, I’m Dick. His brother. Sorry for being rude and not introducing myself. So, you’re (Y/N). “The” (Y/N). He talked about you too, just...sayin’.”

Ignoring Jason’s glare Dick turns to your son and say :

“And you are...?”

“Viggo !”

“Oh like the actor ?”

“Exactly like the actor, yes.”

“Cool. So you want ice cream too Viggo ? I think those two are trying to give us a message insisting we want it.”

“Oh like you mean, leaving them alone ?”

“Exactly mean that, yes. Leaving them to...talk.”

“And sort this “cute” thing out ?”

“Oh you’re a smart one Viggo, aren’t you ? Remind me of my little brother Tim.”

Your best friend, Ally, bless her soul, takes that opportunity to jump in and help you. Because it seems like Jason’s brother and your son have that same kind of “teasing” vibe to them haha. She says :

“Oook boys then let’s go get ice cream. You can tell us more about your brother Tim, Dick. And um...more about what Jason said about our (Y/N) ?”

“Ah, fantastic idea ! Let’s all go gossip !”

You and Jason watch, helpless, as some of the most important people in your life happily walk towards the ice cream cart and start to talk about you. Suddenly, both of you kinda regret chasing them away like that.

You turn back to each other and there’s an awkward pause. You basically just said that you liked each others, and your seven year old son pointed out that it meant you should go out but...You’re not sure what to say. Jason starts :

“So...You have a son uh ?”

“Yes. Sorry I didn’t mention it earlier it just...never really came up. And um...You have a brother ?”

“Three. And a sister. I guess it never really came up either...”

“No. Somehow, we ended up talking about Star Wars for hours and not a word about some of the most important people in our lives were said.”

You can’t help but chuckle a bit at the thought. It’s true. You guys talked about so many things, sometimes very trivial ones, sometimes about your obscure similar geeky tastes...you never actually mentioned much about your families !

You did both make sure that the other one was single, but that’s pretty much it. You ended up talking about each others more than families and all.

Well. Jason did it for a reason. He was suppose to be “dead”...He wasn't really sure how he would talk about his family now that the subject was open, but he knew he’d figure something out. You were clearly worth it.

“How old is he ?”

“Seven.”

“Cool. Did you really name him after Viggo Mortensen ?”

“Yup. Don’t judge.”

“Hey, I told you I was kind of in love with the man so no judgement from me. On the contrary, I dig it. He seems like a pretty awesome kid...He wears the name well.”

“Yeah, he is a pretty awesome kid. Too smart for his own good though.”

“I think I noticed. He’s really good at acting like he has no idea what he’s doing, while saying things like...what he said.”

Woops. There it is again. You somehow manage to hold your blush this time though. And say :

“Yes. I don’t know wether I should be happy or not about this talent of his...”

“It’s a good thing. Otherwise, I would have never had the courage to...ask you out. You turned so many people down at the bar, I thought you weren’t interested in dating and didn’t ask you out cause of this.”

“Ask me out ? Is it what you’re doing right now ?”

“Well...I think ?”

“Even though I have a kid ?”

“What does it matter if you have a kid or not ?”

“You really don’t care ?��

“No. Seems like a swell kid at that. Smart...but I already said that.”

You’re kinda stunned. You were so sure he wouldn’t want to actually date you once he knew you had a kid. It turned down so many people you dated in the past...But Jason. Jason genuinely didn’t seem to care. On the contrary, he was genuinely surprised that you thought it would be a problem.

“So um...Would you like to...go get dinner someday ? You can tell me more about your little Viggo, so I can say more than “he’s smart” next time. Or, if you don’t wanna talk about him, then we won’t. I don’t uh..I never dated someone who had a kid before. I wouldn’t like to impose myself in your life in any way. I just...wanna go get dinner I guess...”

He seems so nervous. It’s very cute. And kinda sexy. The way he stumbles on his words, the way he seems to already understand that Viggo is part of your life and so if he dates you he’ll probably have to interact with him...It feels nice.

He’s not a total stranger, by now. You know him quite a bit, actually, what with all those conversations at the bar. Sure there’s some part you never mentioned, like family or such. But mainly, you consider him a friend.

He’s not a total stranger. He thinks you’re cute, you think he’s cute. He doesn’t mind you having a kid. So, obviously...

“Dinner sounds great. Whenever you want ?”

“I was thinking, whenever you want. What with you having a child and all. I...I can get away from work and all. But you can’t get away from your kid you know ?”

Wow. Wow. Wow ! In a few words, he annihilated any worries you might have had about dating him. Because he just acknowledge the fact that he completely understand that your life revolves a lot around your kid’s. And it doesn’t seem to bother him at all.

“Um. Next Saturday, I’m not working and Ally can babysit Viggo. So if it’s good with you ? ...”

“It is. It is. I can...Saturday. 8 pm ?”

“Yeah, sounds nice.”

“Ok cool. Um...See you then. Or before at the bar maybe ? Not sure what my plans are for the week...I think I might stop by.”

“Great, any time !”

“Cool. Um. I have to go right now, my brother and I have an appointment. But um...see you soon ?”

“Yes, very soon !”

He smiles at you and you smile back. It’s not as awkward as you’d think, what with both of you admitting you like each others (albeit not in a very conventional way) and all. You follow him towards his brother, your best friend and your son and he says bye.

Dick waves too, and after a “well nice to finally meet you, (Y/N)”, he goes away. It makes you wonder what Jason and him talked about and said about you...

You turn to your son and best friend and say :

“So, what did he say about me ?”

“Sorry mom, we promised Dick we wouldn’t say anything. He said you guys should figure things out first.”

“...That’s cold Viggo, that’s cold. Ally ?”

“Sorry (Y/N), I agree with Dick. He paid for the ice cream so...”

“...You two are bribed too easily !”

They laugh a bit and then your son asks, a bit carefully and unsurely :

“So...are you going to see The Jason again ? Out of the bar ? Out of work ?”

“What, you mean like a date ?”

“Yes mom, I mean like a date !”

You don’t say anything for a few seconds, enjoying torturing them a bit as they just can’t wait to hear wether or not he asked you out. Finally, you say :

“Ally, can you babysit Viggo next Saturday ?”

To be continued... ---> There’s now a second part to this, you can find it on my masterlist blog on the “DC master list” under “Jason Todd”, it’s called “Best Step-dad ever” :).

______________________________________________

So this was originally suppose to be a one shot. But I got carried away haha. The full story is already almost completely written, I still have to finish the next chapter. It was way too long for me to post it in just one post, like really, this is already long and it is a bit less than half the entire thing so...Yeah. Anyway. This was more of a “settling things” kind of chapter. Next chapter will have much more of “your son” and Jason interactions with him + appearances from ALL the Batfam members.

Hope you...liked it ? Feedbacks are always appreciated, and once again, reblog = the only way anyone who isn’t following me will find my blog now. So...Yup. Thanks.

#Jason Todd x reader #Jason Todd imagine #Red Hood x reader #Red Hood imagine #Jason Todd #Jaybird deserves love #Jason Todd fanfic #Jason Todd reader insert #Red Hood reader insert #Red hood fanfic #Batfam #Batfam x reader #Batfam imagine #JASON TODD IS GREAT OK ?!#Batfam reader insert #Batfamily #Batfamily x reader #Batfamily imagine

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robert-c · 4 years ago

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Black Lives Matter and All Lives Matter

Others have done a great job pointing out that “Black Lives Matter” doesn’t mean others don’t. But only that those are the lives that have been (and obviously still are) being undervalued.

There may be a few whites using the “all lives matter” without consciously intending it to be a racist endorsement of white privilege. For those few let’s try to break this down so that hopefully they will understand.

Yes, all lives do matter, but in practice it is primarily black lives that haven’t mattered enough to avoid being beaten or even killed in contacts with the police compared to similar encounters by whites. The slogan calls attention to a problem that needs to be fixed.

If the slogan bothers you many will say it is just fear of losing your white privilege. But while true that misses the big point – most whites have no clue about the privilege they have simply by being white. Every ruling class all the way back to the first kings believed that they deserve their position and status in society. Whether because of “noble birth” or decree of the “gods”, or even that they earned it. But this goes way beyond that. These whites have never thought about it, it just is part of their ordinary experience.

How many whites have been pulled over by the police and treated as a dangerous suspect just because they were in a neighborhood that didn’t look like they lived there? And I include poor whites driving through rich neighborhoods. How many times have you, as a white person, entered a store and noticed the manager and clerks paying more attention to you, as if you might be ready to steal something instead of buy it? The list could go on and on, but let’s bring it back to George Floyd. Best information so far is he was taken by the police for passing a counterfeit $20 bill. Whether he knew it was counterfeit or not is still unknown, at least at this time. Video clearly shows that he was not resisting arrest when the handcuffs were put on him. Once the handcuffs are on I can’t understand what sort of “resistance” (if there was any) would require a knee to the neck to subdue him. Now let’s play this whole scene out again with a white suspected of passing counterfeit money. Can anyone honestly believe that the outcome would have been the same?

Before anyone twists my words, I don’t support or excuse the violence and looting by some protesters. I share the same opinion of that as George Floyd’s family. But if I try very hard to imagine myself in the position of blacks, or other people of color, I can get just a glimmer of the rage I would have bottled up.

Using the violent criminal behavior of a few to discount the validity of the demonstrations (especially in light of the fact that this is not a new or isolated incident in our country) is frustrating. In fact it reminds me of a quote.

“Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will.” – Rev. Dr. M. L. King, Jr.

I am speaking out because I do not wish to have the following quote be true of me

“History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people.” – Rev. Dr. M. L. King, Jr.

Painting these protests and demonstrations as the actions of violent and irrational thugs allows some whites to imagine that much ado is being made about little. “The cop was arrested and charged, isn’t that enough?” If it were an isolated incident over decades, then yes, maybe it would be enough – but we all know that is not the case.

In fact, seeing black (and brown as well) as predominantly criminal is the pervasive bias, and that is the heart of the problem. It also allows those good whites of shallow understanding to remain silent and imagine that our system already works fairly, is already color blind. So they say things like “All Lives Matter” as if calling attention to the differences was the only problem, as if there weren’t huge differences in opportunity and perception. Taking phrases like “black lives matter” as a challenge, or an affront is proof that at some level they acknowledge that they are part of a biased system.

I’ve heard people try to justify this bias by calling it a reasonable precautionary assumption and citing high rates of crime among minorities and their communities. There are many causes of crime and none of them have simple, easy answers. But if we take race out of those statistics and instead look at crime by socio-economic levels, we’ll see that while there are some Bernie Madoff’s and Jeffrey Epstein’s in top circles of our society, the majority of crime is committed by those further down the ladder, with little and often under desperate circumstances. A part of the racist system makes sure that a disproportionate number of those people are people of color.

Again, before someone tries to twist my words, everyone needs to be accountable for their choices in life. Being poor is no excuse for being a criminal. At the same time, how many of those with the privilege can honestly say they would never choose a criminal act if they were in the same circumstances?

Any valid statistics presented will show a police officer’s encounter with a person of color has only a small chance of being with a dangerous criminal unless they were responding to a robbery in progress, or similar call. The police and the overall (white) community needs to quit thinking about this in militaristic terms – a “war on crime” can only result in a war on individual rights, the very protections enshrined in our Constitution. “War” is the “magic” word that allows things that would otherwise be prohibited. Killing others when they are not actively engaging you with threat, is some kind of murder, unless it is in war. Collateral casualties of the “enemy” are considered “unfortunate” in the context of war, but never criminally condemned.

To the whites who still can’t seem to understand, but are not committed racists, perhaps you have been struggling in a world that requires better skills than you have ever been able to develop in order to get the really good paying jobs. Perhaps you are afraid that the removal of white privilege will mean that you wouldn’t even have as much as you do now. Then perhaps it is time to join the push for a system that ensures livable wages and prohibits the exploitation of workers at the lower end of the wage scale.

Trying to defend our unjust, racist, system is not only futile in the long run, it makes you as big a fool as the poor whites who thought they were fighting the Civil War for “state’s rights” when in fact all they were defending is an elite’s “right” to own human labor.

You can be better than that.

#BLM #Black Lives Matter #racism #police brutality #all lives matter #George Floyd #white privilege

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cullensfm · 5 years ago

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hi everyone ! it’s koa sliding onto your dashes again , but this time with mr . christopher cullen ! he is my mega ambitious son in comparison to araminta , and he’s honestly a giant mess but he’s trying his very best to achieve everything he wants in life . he’s working on some demons that he’s trying his best to deal with , but that’s all you’re gonna get him me ! so without further ado , here’s christopher !

statistics .

FULL NAME : christopher patrick bartholomew cullen .

NICKNAME(S) : chris , topher , and toffie ( by his little sisters only ) .

BIRTHDATE / AGE : september 15th , 1998 / 21 .

ZODIAC : virgo .

HOMETOWN : darien , connecticut .

GENDER : cis male .

NATIONALITY : american .

ETHNICITY : white caucasian .

HEIGHT : 5′9″ .

LABEL(S) : the lothario , the zealous , and the connard .

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : biromantic .

SEXUAL ORIENTATION : bisexual .

OCCUPATION : political science student at steinhardt university .

HOUSING : clemson hall , single room .

LANGUAGES SPOKEN : english , latin , and conversational spanish .

POSITIVES : desirous , spellbinding , ingenuous , nonpartisan , and authentic .

NEGATIVES : worrisome , machiavellian , cocksure , unsympathetic , and narcissistic .

background .

patrick cullen was a wide eyed and bushy tailed first year law student who knew he wanted to make a change in the world . from the get go , he knew that he wanted to be a criminal defense attorney as he was not a rich kid by far and saw that there needed to be a change in the american justice system . it wasn’t easy for him by far , and he was the student who needed to work throughout college in order to make ends meet , but he wasn’t going to let that deter him from his goals . during his first year in law school was when he met a political science graduate student named stephanie daniels .

stephanie was made up of unruly blonde curls and an australian accent , but she’ll still debate you until she’s blue in the face . coming from a wealthy family , stephanie found herself constantly being told one of two things : she’d either be the perfect housewife or the perfect mother . determined to change that narrative , stephanie went through college with the best grades and she was not idle to being interrupted by the men who attempted to speak over her . stephanie is a woman who knew what she wanted and she was determined to get it .

so , when she met patrick at a party she told herself she wasn’t going to attend , their worlds flipped on their heads , but in the best way possible . their first date was filled with gentle laughter and it wasn’t at the fanciest restaurant in town , but they enjoyed themselves nonetheless . despite their major differences , the couple managed to make it work and following two years of dating and engagement , patrick and stephanie married . despite patrick coming from a poor background , there was never a reason for the two to not be together -- it was evident with the way that they looked at one another from the moment they met .

as the years passed , patrick found himself working at a law office while quickly rising in the ranks while stephanie ran for city council . during that same year , patrick and stephanie welcomed their first child , a sweet baby boy named christopher . their son was the apple of their eye , and they absolutely loved having him in their lives . from the get go , christopher had always been around his parents and around their political ties . christopher was always found attaching himself to his parents’ pant leg as they worked to provide him the life that he had in darien , connecticut .

more years passed , and their world changes again as stephanie is elected as congresswoman for the state of connecticut . for christopher , who was ten at the time he saw the world change for the first time since his parents were now in the public eye and there was suddenly security detail around their home . christopher while growing up , though , found that this was exactly what he wanted out of life , as weird as they may sound . he liked what his mom did , and he liked seeing what his father do with ensuring that the justice system was held accountable for their actions .

when christopher was in middle school , not only did his parents welcome his younger twin sisters cassandra and courtney , but this was when he started his development into someday becoming a president . middle school was when he began joining student organizations and even developed his love for lacrosse . during high school , christopher continued with lacrosse as midfielder and was elected as student body president during his sophomore year . he knew from the get go that he wanted to be someone who made major differences , so while he’s making his way to someday being mr . president , for now he was more focused on ensuring a place at a college .

he was accepted into steinhardt during his fall semester in high school considering the fact that he did early admission . since starting at steinhardt , christopher has always been a student was was very involved on campus so a lot of people know his face . despite coming from a wealthy background , christopher works as a manager at the student center on top of being the student association treasurer and on the lacrosse team .

headcanons .

wants to be president of the united states someday and is wildly salty that he’s not president of the student association all because he missed the application deadline . he is ... fine with being treasurer , but will complain because that’s really what he’s good at .

he’s on the lacrosse team and plays the position of midfielder . he’s in the classics club and honestly ... he only ever learned latin because it made sense to his parents so now he knows a dead language that only ever works when he’s reading difficult books or traveling !

has his driver’s license but he doesn’t really drive . he’ll get an uber if he needs to go far distances , but he likes being able to walk places since his dorm isn’t far from different campus locations .

topher spends most of his time outside of his dorm , and usually doesn’t get back until late at night . his days start really early for training and practice , then he has classes pretty much all day and he likes to study right after . of course , he has his student association meetings and then he goes to the gym so he probably only gets a wink of sleep before he starts all over again .

he doesn’t like leaving his apart without being put together , and it mostly stems from being a congresswoman’s son ! his style is mostly made up of chinos , long coats , turtlenecks , chunky sneakers , and a gucci belt to flex .

he can make people worry about him sometimes ? and it’s mostly because he will literally go days without answering phone calls or texts , but then he’ll pop back up like nothing ever happened . he really does hate how much he’ll make people worry about him sometimes , but that’s the d*pression doing all the talking .

personality .

since he has really big ambitions for himself , christopher can be really overbearing at times . he hates when things don’t work out for him and he really hates when people try to overstep . he definitely is the guy who takes over group projects and assigns people a part because he wants things to work as smoothly as they can . he can be pretty charming as explained by his aesthetics : he’s mastered the art of having a faux conversation with someone so sometimes he might not be truly listening . he’s getting the important parts and then that’s what he works off of . he’s not that way with his friends , though . i can promise you that . he’s the most chaotic boy on the entire planet and will definitely find a way to ruin your life if he wanted to . despite all of that , though he’s a jock at heart ! when he’s with his friends he can be really laid back and all about enjoying himself in the now .

desired relations .

as always , give me the angsty things ! i feel that topher has probably burned some bridges throughout his years in college , so i could definitely see him having some angsty platonic or romantic plots .

for specific plots , i’d love for him to have his best friend ! the person who really knows him the best and can tell when he’s truly dealing with something . topher’s a crier because toxic masculinity is not a thing ‘round these parts , so get ready for him to show up being a soft boy .

i’m really feeling a one night stand with some substance ? like yeah , they have their fun together but they don’t pretend to not know each other in public ( unless they have like a fierce rivalry going on or something ) so they probs tend to be a little like confidants at times but it’s still them having fun !

give me a plot where they full on hate each other . no lingering feelings , no soft moments -- give me a full bred spicy hate ship that literally gets your blood pumping . it’s all i want in life , thank u .

something soft ? something really sweet and enough to make my freaking teeth rot ? could either be a boyfriend or girlfriend thing or i don’t know something literally anything just give me the softness that i’ve been craving for my boy . taken by kelsey .

#depression tw #steinhardt:intro #another long one for ya'll !#ok now i can fully plot with everyone !

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ftaramintas · 5 years ago

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hi friends ! i’m koa and every time you see miss jennie kim on your dash , then you’ll be greeted with the strong presence that is araminta park ! you are absolutely correct if you know i got her name from the beautiful araminta lee from crazy rich asians , and that’s that on that .

i use emojis way too much in conversations , specifically my favorites exhibit a. 🥺 , b. 🥴 , c. 🤠 , and d. 🤪 . i talk too much sometimes and i don’t find that to be a bad thing , but right now i’m listening to itzy’s new album on loop , so make sure you’re streaming wannabe or we’re gonna fight ! i’m just kidding , but without further ado , here’s everything you need to know about araminta !

statistics .

FULL NAME : araminta josephine park .

NICKNAME(S) : ari , minta , and minnie ( by her parents only ) .

BIRTHDATE / AGE : july 25th , 1997 / 23 .

ZODIAC : leo .

HOMETOWN : manhattan , new york .

GENDER : cis female .

NATIONALITY : korean - american .

ETHNICITY : korean .

HEIGHT : 5′4″ .

LABEL(S) : the queen bee , the studious , and the opulent .

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : biromantic .

SEXUAL ORIENTATION : bisexual .

OCCUPATION : architecture student at steinhardt university .

HOUSING : perry hall .

LANGUAGES SPOKEN : korean , english , french , and learning portuguese .

POSITIVES : bewitching , regiment , decorous , methodical , and distinguished .

NEGATIVES : unvarnished , zealous , cavalier , hard - hearted , and priggish .

background .

araminta’s story begins with the fateful meeting of her parents , kim seo - yeon and park dong - wook , on a cold winter’s day . they found themselves at the tender ages of 20 and 22 , attending a boring christmas gala with their parents when they would have preferred to do anything else in the world . seo - yeon was a women who knew what she wanted the moment her eyes landed upon it , so when she made brief eye contact with dong - wook , she purposefully spilled a glass of champagne onto his expensive tom ford suit and made a big deal of it . this sparked their whirlwind romance , and six months later they found themselves announcing their engagement to korean media outlets .

despite how quickly they were engaged , their parents saw this as mutually beneficial . seo - yeon is the youngest daughter of the wealthy kim family , owners of the kq group conglomerate that was worth billions in its own right . dong - wook was the only child of his parents , and came from park family lineage where their hotels and resorts were the cause of their fortune . the families were soon to be one , and the couple was the chaebol heirs that others envied . following their lavish wedding , seo - yeon and dong - wook decided that they were going to head off to manhattan to make a life for themselves . so , they transferred to columbia university , finished their schooling , and shortly after seo - yeon’s graduation from the financial economics program , the couple discovered that they were expecting .

it was a sticky summer day when seo - yeon unexpectedly gave birth to their daughter , who decided not to allow her parents time to get to the hospital . araminta was born in the bathtub of her parents’ luxury bathroom , and right into the arms of her slightly panicked but overjoyed father . from the time that she was a toddler , araminta was a very precocious child , picking up on skills quite quickly and speaking in few short sentences by the time she was eleven months old . as she grew older , araminta’s parents remained hands on despite their busy schedules , and decided that they would see what their daughter would have the most interest in . when she was four , her parents began piano lessons , and it was evident that she had a natural gift for the instrument .

years continued to pass , and araminta was always a top student in both academics and her extracurriculars . as she attended the very best schools in new york city , araminta was usually the first to answer questions , the first to sign up , and the first to complete her tests . she was the recipient of various awards throughout the years , whether it be honor roll or due to her participation in various student organizations . by the time she reaches high school , araminta is on the fast track to attending the college of her choice . this is also the time where she discovers her love for both dance and volleyball . honestly , she tried out for the dance team at her high school on a whim , and immediately fell in love with it . volleyball is her main love , and she keeps up with dance because she gets to have fun and it helps to keep her in shape .

araminta was accepted into steinhardt university during her junior year because she was absolutely the girl who took her sat during sophomore year because she wanted to get it out of the way ! so , she went through her last two years of high school not stressing over college ( and honestly i think about that scene from mean girls where everyone’s freaking out because of the burn book and regina is just standing there JNFDFHD ) . during the first semester of college at steinhardt , though , araminta was dealt a heavy blow when she discovered that her parents were separating .

they weren’t arguing a lot or anything , but they simply didn’t want to be married anymore / the relationship lost its spark , so they figured it’d be best to end their relationship . during that time , it was really hard for araminta to understand because she didn’t want her family to be broken , but as the years passed , she began to understand why they decided to end their relationship . at steinhardt , araminta is an architecture major and it’s entirely due to the fact that she wants to someday take over her father’s position as ceo of the hotel / resort company that his family owns . she’s the captain of the dance team and the right side hitter on the volleyball team !

headcanons .

definitely plans on going to graduate school once she’s graduated , and more than likely will get a degree in business !

as mentioned , she currently resides in perry hall . when it comes to the decor of her room , i’d say it’s pretty minimal with muted tones , but there’s definitely some soft pinks scattered about ! really likes having gold as an accent color ( cannot stand the marble trend ) and everything has a place !

she never leaves her dorm without making the bed or putting away dishes from breakfast / lunch . it’s mostly because she usually gets back home really late so the last thing she wants to do is have to clean before bed .

studies a lot , studies late , and studies hard . if she were to have a studygram ( yes , that’s absolutely a thing ) it would be the most aesthetically pleasing instagram on the planet . probably only uses these heavy gold pens modeled after the ones her father uses with her name engraved on it .

araminta is full on the girl who does not show up to class in sweatpants and a hoodie . i draw a lot of her style inspiration from itsyuyan on instagram and jennie’s own style . the only time she’ll ever be casual is during those trips to the library or when she’s lounging at home , and even then she’s probably wearing jeans and a tee / sweater or a coordinated pajama set .

i know jennie has since cut her hair , but araminta’s hair is long ! specifically , her hair is waist length . she drives a white mercedes glc where she’s usually taking selfies lmao but her parents got her that car because it’s #safe and honestly she barely even drives the thing unless she’s going grocery shopping or making the trip back home .

personality .

oh boys , where do i even begin with this brat !

to quote that tik tok song : i’m a bitch , i’m a boss . araminta works very hard despite misconceptions that she has everything handed to her because of her family’s wealth . she can be very prideful of all of her accomplishments at times , but definitely will let them do the talking instead of being the type to bring them up in every conversation .

she’s nice to who she wants to be nice to , and sometimes she’ll be the very opposite of nice . she can complain a lot sometimes , especially when she’s doing something that she wasn’t want to .

will respond to attitudes with the same energy and she will take no prisoners .

she is and will remain as #1 in her program ( valedictorian ) and will do whatever it takes to remain in such spot . she’s wildly ambitious mostly stemming from her father being the same way , so she’ll step on toes and sink her nails in in order to get what she believes is hers .

crazy charming , and usually it only takes her flashing a smile in order to get what she wants . however since she’s pretty full of herself that can be a real turn off to others who don’t care about the luxuries that can afford .

desired relations .

i would love to have almost any and everything . first , some basics that i’d love to have are as follows : former roommates , best friends , academic rivals , friends with benefits , confidant(s) , frenemies , good / bad influence , one night stand(s) , flirtationship , enemies with benefits , and a current or ex fling !

i’ve been drinking my women loving women juice recently and i’d love for her to have an ex gf ? i really feel that they ended on good terms like they might have simply drifted apart , but they remain really good friends ? there’s probably even a sprinkle of them being confidants to one another , but give me this or give me death .

i would die for literally any form of angst that you could possibly think of ? angsty friends , angsty exes , angsty anything . i love to put myself through misery so honestly ... bury me six feet under and i will literally thank you .

all aboard the heartbreak train ! this ties back into my love for angst , but some form of an ex or maybe even someone who she go close to but it didn’t really work out ? maybe even a will they won’t they ? but essentially , clearly these two have feelings but for some reason things didn’t work out for them and now they’re probably in a limbo or trying to determine where they’re headed but they absolutely refuse to talk about it ! all of their friends notice but they blow them off and ok let me relax and actually allow us to plot , but just some potential ideas !

i will have a desired relations tag that i’ll be updating as frequently as i can , but if none of these work for you or if you have something you see araminta filling , then please let me know ! we can totally brainstorm or if you want , then we can work on chemistry !

#steinhardt:intro #this is really long even without her bio i'm CRYING

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readysetreduce · 5 years ago

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Hello, and welcome to my blog/first post/etc. I am a humble 27 y/o who has not done anything you would have heard of, but I’m here for a place to talk about how and why I have decided to change my habits. This is meant to be a space for people to find an easy way to navigate changing their habits too, and I hope that I can help. You should know that I am not under any circumstances an expert, or even knowledgeable about a lot of these things. I haven’t studied them, I haven’t been paid, and I am doing all of this on my own time and in my own way and that might not work for everyone.

TL/DR: I have no idea what I’m doing. You shouldn’t listen to me, but I need a place to organize my thoughts on this project.

MAIN THEME:

For this blog, my goals are simply this: REDUCE.

I think that a lot of people feel really good about recycling. AND YOU SHOULD RECYCLE, don’t get me wrong, BUT *and this is important* there are more that one step to helping our environment and it’s multitude of issues. In fact, there are THREE. The first one is, you guessed it—Reduce. In my opinion, being the first arrow in the cycle, the first listed, the first named, etc, that makes it IMPORTANT. So without further ado, here’s how last year I started becoming a more aware person.

It all started with a nature documentary. I watched, I cried, I awoke. I was very upset by the prospect of a mother whale’s milk poisoning her baby because of the environment she lives in. It’s fucking tragic and I think that point is beyond being debatable. So in 2019, I made myself a promise that I would try to do my part. Up until that day, I need you to understand, that I felt as if my decisions could not POSSIBLY matter in this issue. It felt stupid that little ‘ol me in this GIANT world giving up water bottles would even matter at all. How could one person really make a difference? I know, what a cliched and boring question, but I still to this day feel like there are some things that are just too big for me to try and solve, fix, think about, prophesize, etc. To be frank, I just felt like it was all not enough, like, no matter WHAT I did it couldn’t POSSIBLY make a difference. I think a lot of this stems from my issues in math and numbers and how they make me feel inferior, but I digress, with a little help from a very math-positive friend, I felt an impact. Small though it may be, an impact nonetheless. So I am going to share some statistics with you that inspired me. So, before you get overwhelmed, I’m gonna start big and then break it down into what made me go, “oh.”

Ok, so scientists think that somewhere around 8 MILLION metric tons of plastic are dumped into the ocean every year. For reference on what this looks like here is what a 6.8 metric tons look like:

SO. Imagine about 1.1 million more of those swimming around in the ocean. What I’m getting at is it’s A LOT, and that’s uninspiring. So of that 8M number, I needed to know how much of it my ONE water bottle really impacted. So....

Americans drink 10 BILLION gallons of plastic bottles every year, and in 2016, less than HALF were collected for recycling. What’s half of 10B...? Idek. I don’t think that number really matters to most people, and for most of my life it certainly didn’t matter to me because that is FAR too much for me to fathom. Most people can’t even fathom 10B of ANYTHING.

I’ll be transparent here, none of these numbers meant a damn thing to me. Watching that baby whale die...that’s what did me in, y’all. I’m not heartless even though I like to pretend to be. So, what made me feel like I was doing something important? Doing it. I just started reducing. It started really really small. I stopped buying water bottles, I got a water filter, and I filled up my cups, and I was like, “SURELY that is enough and I can stop there.” And that’s when it happened. It all started crowding in around me. I started to see how much plastic I was using just to EXIST. Suddenly I realized how MANY things were made of plastic. You guys....it’s like EVERYTHING. Do you remember that time when you were a kid and someone was like, “haha check the labels on your things and see if it says, ‘Made in China,’ lol it’s like China owns us lol so funny.” It was like that. I was like suddenly I realized plastic owned me and I had been living with my eyes closed the whole time. So I started frantically changing like everything I did, and running around looking for new solutions to the things I used every day. It was insanity. It still is. For 2020, I kept my same resolution as last year. It’s reduce. Surprising, right? Anyway, how could I not I still have all this plastic to get rid of, and no, the earth probably doesn’t notice that I don’t use waterbottles anymore, but I sure fucking do. I notice when other people use them, too. I notice when people don’t recycle. I notice when I’m not in LA, and there’s no recycling bin in sight and I am forced to either throw away a recyclable OR litter...it makes me cringe. I now have a PHYSICAL reaction to the inability to decide how I impact my own environment, and for anyone that knows me AT ALL, taking away my right to options is just not a thing you should do to gain my favor.

I want for this to be something that someone reads and thinks about. Just thinking about it was enough for me, and maybe it will be enough for someone else, too. I also want to help be a resource for those people who are just starting out like I am and need help. I am well versed in research as a historian, and sometimes I do it for fun, but other times I do it because I need to know who is profiting from my funding, or what is the best no-waste toothpaste option because my partner gets mouth ulcers from the chemicals in our toothpaste and I’ve suddenly realized that the toothpaste we use is far more impactful than just the risk the chemicals are posing to our bodies. So, without further ado, please enjoy this place as an informational safe space where I can research without judgement, answer questions to the best of my ability, let people know what works or doesn’t work in my life, and to ultimately have my own impact here on tumblr.

—♻️REduces✌️—

Here’s a link from oceanconservancy.org where I found some of this information.

#environment #reduce #reduce reuse recycle #plastic pollution #global impact #environmental action #environmental awareness

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cosmicpopcorn · 6 years ago

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Captain Marvel (2019): Feminism, Diversity, and the 90s, oh my!

Warning: Spoilers, possibly. I always like to warn a nigga just in case.

Note to Readers: Yes, Cosmic Popcorn is back up and running! Last year, I went on an impromptu hiatus due to life being...well, life. Now I’m back and determined to pick back up where I left off on my journey of providing informal movie and TV reviews and discussions on astrology and all things cosmic.

Without further ado, let’s get into Captain Marvel.

If ya’ll remember the post credits scene from Avengers: Infinity War, Nick Fury sends one last message to someone, somewhere on an old ass looking communication device right before he turns to dust...and we see a star-shaped logo confirming that his message has been sent.

He was sending that message off to good ol’ Captain Marvel aka Carol Danvers. Captain Marvel has a very diverse, interesting history in the comics...in fact, Carol Danvers is the 7th Captain Marvel in the comics. To read more about that dope history, check out this article here: The Weird and Diverse Comic Book History of Captain Marvel.

Now, the movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) do divert from the comics in a lot of ways. So MCU Carol Danvers is a former air force officer who was under the mentorship of physicist Dr. Wendy Lawson, who was actually a Kree scientist who disagreed with the Kree’s war with the Skrulls and had fled to Earth. Dr. Wendy Lawson (her alias) aka Mar-Vell (her real name) was using the Tesseract (Space Stone) to create an engine that would have helped the Skrulls to live beyond the reach of the Kree empire and she had enlisted Danvers’ help in this mission. But they are discovered by Yon-Rogg, a Kree commander who is the leader of Starforce (a Kree military task-force). During the fight between Mar-Vell and Yon-Rogg, Carol shoots the engine in an attempt to prevent Yon-Rogg from getting it and it explodes in her face, causing her to absorb the Tesseract’s energy/powers, thus making her Captain Marvel. Her memories of who she is and her life on Earth are mostly altered/erased and she becomes one of the members of the Starforce, under Yon-Rogg’s direction and mentorship.

The movie was directed by Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck. Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel is played by actress Brie Larson. I first remember seeing her in United States of Tara and really enjoying watching her character on screen. She has also played in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Community, and Room (which she won an Oscar for Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role). Obviously, she’s been in a ton of other shit, won a bunch of awards and been nominated for others but I am not about to lay this woman’s resume out for y’all - just know she’s been here for awhile and she’s accomplished. Lol.

Nick Fury is obviously played by the wonderful Samuel L. Jackson, and y’all should damn well know who he is. He’s one of our national treasures in my opinion, right along with Terry Crews. Not to mention he’s already been present in the other MCU movies. He’s the character with the second most screen time in the movie outside of the obvious Captain Marvel.

Other actors worth mentioning: Talos/Keller is played by Ben Mendelsohn, Jude Law is Yon-Rogg, Annette Bening is Dr. Wendy Lawson, and we have Lashana Lynch as Maria Rambeau, with Akira Akbar as her daughter Monica Rambeau. The cast overall is very diverse - comprised of people of color and women in starring roles. And based on what I’ve personally read on Captain Marvel’s comic book history, this is the essence of her story - breaking through barriers and giving power to a range of different people who may not have had it before, who were not usually represented in certain roles and positions of power.

I’ll be honest, it’s difficult for me to review and critique Marvel movies because the quality of their movies these days is usually pretty high...even the mediocre or bad ones are significantly better than other mediocre/bad non-superhero movies. I go into these movies with a bias towards them and it’s hard for me to see flaws unless they’re extremely obvious and detract from the overall quality of the movie in a major way. I will always try to be honest about a movie...but how I feel is how I feel and I feel Marvel movies are usually pretty great. So when it comes to these movies, I’ll present my thoughts on various aspects of them instead of the usual pros vs. cons approach unless it calls for it.

I basically really liked and enjoyed Captain Marvel. I don’t regret the experience at all and feel it’s worth the movie ticket. Here are some thoughts on the movie:

Brie Larson was a good choice for Captain Marvel: I’ve heard people complain about the decision for Brie Larson to play Carol Danvers aka Captain Marvel, with some of the main reasons for their complaints being that she appeared to be too stoic, didn’t smile or laugh enough and that her portrayal of Captain Marvel was bland. I felt that she expressed the appropriate amount of emotion for the character and for the scenes she had. We must also keep in mind that Carol Danvers was an air force officer on Earth, a member of Starforce on Hala while being with the Kree, and also had been taught to not be emotional and that her emotionality was a weakness. So...why the fuck would she be super emotional and expressional?! I’m not sure what was expected - did they want lots of crying and giggles? We don’t ask for Captain America, Iron Man or the Hulk to be more emotional or smile more and this specific critique reeks of sexist undertones to me.

Captain Marvel was portrayed well in this origin movie and Brie Larson did a fine job. Yes, I am saying this as someone who did not grow up reading the comics. We are discussing the MCU Captain Marvel, not the comics. And we already know that when converting books or comics to movies, shit gets changed. They have the same source, but they are still different.

As a 90s baby, I enjoyed the blast from the past: This origin movie is set in 1995 and has things like pay phones, Blockbuster, slow ass internet, internet cafes and the music, oh my, the music. I loved it all. I don’t miss any of that, except maybe the music, but it’s nice to wax nostalgic sometimes.

Nick Fury and Captain Marvel are cute AF: I loved watching Samuel L. Jackson and Brie Larson on screen as Fury and Marvel. They had just the right amount of chemistry and played off of each other very well. I know Fury has gone to dust, but maybe we’ll get to see a nice, cute reunion in Endgame? One can only hope.

They did well at helping Samuel L. Jackson go back in time as Fury: I was pleasantly surprised how good Sam looked as young Fury - usually aging actors and actresses, whether younger or older is something that has a high possibility of not being done well and they did a fantastic job here. My man looked good!

I loved that Nick Fury got a lot of screen time: We got to learn a lot more about the character, his past, and really see his personality shine here. We also learned about how he lost his eye. Once again, I really do hope to see more of Fury in Endgame. And with Fury and his eye in mind, shoutout to Goose the cat, that’s my nigga.

Captain Marvel doesn’t have a strong villain and it doesn’t need it: One of the complaints about the movie was the lack of a strong villain like Killmonger or Thanos. However, with this being an origin movie, I see it being more focused on how Captain Marvel comes to being and how she becomes a hero, any villain present is only there to showcase her powers and as a plot device. That’s not how it is in all origin movies - Black Panther had a very strong, well-developed villain, but here, it appears the villain almost takes a backseat to other aspects of the movie. Her “villains” are more of society’s sexism, her own self-doubt, identity struggles, and her rejection of the emotional parts of herself. The people around her either enforce, support and/or represent those “villains” (e.g. Yon-Rogg) or push her to break against those barriers and embrace her power (e.g. Nick Fury).

Captain Marvel has a diverse cast and clearly wants to empower young women and girls: I loved the fact that our main character was a woman, her main supporting character was a black man, and the other important supporting characters were a black woman and a beautiful black girl. Yes, there were white men and other white people all around, lol, but a good amount of the ones with a lot of screen time were not. The movie also rejected sexist ideas such as: emotionality and being emotionally expressive being a negative trait, women having to smile for men and always appear pleasant or pretty, women not being capable of being in traditionally male-dominated fields and not being capable participating in male-dominated or traditionally male activities. It says a giant FUCK YOU to all these things. It also hints towards Marvel’s first African-American female superhero, Photon.

Brie Larson was right in her Crystal Award for Excellence in Film acceptance speech: In her speech, she presents statistics regarding movie critics - bringing to light that a large, overwhelming amount of movie critics were older, white men and that white women, women of color and men of color are largely unrepresented when it comes to movie critiques. She explains the importance of reviews and the impact it has on what movies can be bought and seen, how much money a movie grosses and what movies are nominated for awards. Overall, she encourages more inclusivity and for critiques of movies to be done by a more diverse group of people - a group that includes more white women, women of color and men of color, especially since some movies are, let’s face, simply not made for white men or with white men in mind. Not mention, as she said, people other than older white men also like Star Wars. You can hear that speech here.

She ain’t say anything wrong and anyone who has a problem with this speech obviously has some unaddressed sexism they need to tend to. Because, I mean...are you saying only older white men like these types of movies? Are we saying their opinions on media are the most important? Do we not want to hear from white women, women of color and men of color...since we are, you know, also part of this world and consume this media? And considering the diversity present in Marvel comics and films, considering the messages about sexism, racism, feminism, etc. that are present in the stories of heroes like Black Panther and Captain Marvel...are you really trying to tell me these were only made for and primarily focused only on older white men? Get the fuck outta here. I don’t care what a 40-year-old white dude has to say about what he doesn’t like about A Wrinkle in Time either.

All in all, I enjoyed this movie and it got me hype of Avengers: Endgame. Instinctually and based on conversations with others and hearing about flaws they felt were present such as pacing issues, actress choice, etc., I feel these flaws were mostly based on opinion (opinions that I don’t agree with) and in my opinion either are subtle (such as pacing issues) and/or simply don’t exist (such as actress choice being a problem). However, this isn’t Black Panther and while it doesn’t really have any cons (major or minor) that come to mind, it does lack the aspects of Black Panther that earned it a 5 Caramel Popcorn Pieces rating. With that in mind, I give it 5 Butter Popcorn Pieces.

Rating: 5 Butter Popcorn Pieces

#captain marvel #brie larson #marvel cinematic universe #samuel l jackson #feminism #moviereviews #Marvel Movies

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