#ok now i can fully plot with everyone !

[killerpancakeburger]

Breaking point (2/2)

SUMMARY: Civilian!Reader, who works as Price's assistant, has a breakdown at work. Soap+Ghost help the best they can. Hurt/comfort. Can be read as platonic or romantic. Gender Neutral Reader.

PAIRINGS: Soap x GN!Reader

Ghost's version (1/2) Soap's part 2. Soap's part 3.

TAGS: Hurt/comfort. Military inaccuracies (I make shit up for the sake of the plot). Soap is tooth-rotting sweet.

WARNINGS: Mention of relative in the hospital, suicide ideation, depressive thoughts, swearing.

WORD COUNT: 4.3k

A/N: Very self-indulgent, Reader is going through it and so am I. 🙃Soap is Prince Fucking Charming (very cliché romance tropes). Yours truly suggest to listen to "Strong For Somebody Else" by Citizen Soldier to set the mood. (Song includes suicide ideation and depressive thoughts too, so listen at your own risk).

This bad good boy gave me a harder time than expected lol.

After ending the call, you put down your phone on your desk in a daze, hand shaking.

The news you’ve just been told cannot be real. Life could not possibly be that cruel. What did I do to deserve this? you wonder helplessly. It’s like every time you get back up, life knocks you down again, sending you tumbling on the cold, hard ground.

Clenching your fists, you stare into space, a thousand thoughts disorderly swirling inside your brain, all bursting with anguish, until a burning tear running down your cheek brings you back to the present. You’re at work, your boss is in the next room; a breakdown is a luxury you cannot afford right now. Better bite your tongue hard enough to draw blood than be caught sobbing. 

Inhaling a shaky breath, you take your head between your hands, shoving your fingers into your hair, trying to convince yourself to postpone your nervous collapse. Only one hour left, and you’ll be free to cry your eyes out at your flat. Or on the way home, even. It’s not like the other passengers ever paid you attention the other times you’ve cried on the bus.

But somehow your attempts have the opposite effect, and more tears roll down your face, staining the papers beneath it. As you furiously wipe your face with your sleeve, with a blend of frustration and despair, pissed at yourself, and wanting to get rid of the evidence of your fragile state as fast as possible, the unmistakable sound of your office’s door opening makes you look up.

Of freaking course of all bloody people that could have walked in on you, it had to be Soap fucking Mactavish. Only the most gorgeous man on base - according to you, that is.

You weren't proud of it, but you had a crush on him since you arrived, six months ago. His piercing cerulean eyes, rugged good looks and outgoing personality wouldn’t let you know peace. The mere sight of him was enough to bring a goofy smile to your face, and every conversation between the two of you left you blushing and elated.

You initially thought that this silly, juvenile infatuation would fade away soon enough. Ok, he was beautiful, and he had eyes to damn yourself for, so what? Surely with enough time and exposure, he'd feel mundane. But things didn’t go that way at all.

On top of looking stunning, he just had to be friendly. He made you feel welcome when you arrived. He made efforts to include you in conversations, asking questions to get to know you. He relieved you of the burden of small talk, appeasing your social anxiety, by happily keeping the conversation going on his own, never taking offense when you had nothing to say. He chose to spend some of his free time with you, escorting you back from the archives or dropping by your office.

He was even flirty at times. Flirty. With you.

You could have still disregarded all this; tell yourself he was like this with everyone, that it was just his personality; imagining things would only end up with you hurt in the end.

But then, during a meeting, you witnessed his sincere concern for civilian lives. His righteous anger against unjust orders, when you had fully expected a soldier to obey mindlessly.

This had been your undoing; the moment you knew you were a goner. A severe fondness for him had sunk its claws deep inside your chest and had no intent to let go. It didn’t mean you had any intention to declare your feelings though; you never entertained the thought that he could return them, therefore there was no need for any confession.

For him to be the one to have caught you in this state, it was downright humiliating. Especially since his good heart would make him feel obligated to care.

He was still wearing his leather, fingerless gloves, and some dirt lingered on the contour of his face, like he tossed his weapons and his flak jacket to the side right out of the heli bringing him back to base, and rushed here.

“Hiya hen, brought you the- Shite, what happened?”

His booming voice and cheerful tone fade away as his eyes widen with concern. He briefly freezes at the door in shock before closing the distance to your desk with great strides. You lower your eyes in shame, avoiding his gaze.

“Nothing. Nothing happened. Everything's fine.”

“No offense, bonnie, but yer not very good at lying.”

You bit your lip, forcing yourself to look at him. Staring at your own lap is only going to make you seem more suspicious.

You grit your teeth and lie some more, trying to sound carefree.

“It's nothing, really. I'm just being a crybaby.”

Crybaby.

Soap turns the word over in his mind, unconvinced.

He still remembers that one time when you showed up thirty minutes late to a meeting with the Task Force, panting, leaning on the threshold, the front of your clothes soaked in blood.

 “Sorry I’m late,” you started.

“‘Sorry’ isn’t going to cut it,” Price interrupted before laying eyes on you. “Bloody hell, what happened to you?”

You explained how Private what's-his-name bled out in the break room after carelessly reopening his stitches and you had to stop the hemorrhage with your bare hands and a bunch of paper towels while shouting yourself hoarse for help. Yet when Price ordered you to take the rest of the day off, you insisted on going on as usual, forcing their captain to make it clear that it wasn’t a mere suggestion.

You and him had a different definition of “crybaby”.

Clinging to what's familiar, you focus on the stack of papers under his arm.

“You have the latest reports? Give it here.”

You hold out your hand expectantly. Instead of giving them to you, he sets them down on the opposite side of your desk, out of your reach.

“Paperwork can wait.”

You blink in astonishment at him.

“No it cannot…?”

You roll your eyes at his behavior and get up to seize the reports, but he snatches them from you. You can feel your composure snap like a twig.

“Johnny, what the hell?!” you yell, throwing your hands in the air.

You could remember exactly the first time you called him Johnny, only because it had been such an embarrassment. You couldn’t get used to his alias; sure you had been warned beforehand that some of them were… original, but somehow "Soap" was the one that stood out as the most ridiculous. You briefly entertained the idea of using his first name, except that for you “John” already referred to Captain Price. Only once you tried to call him Mr Mactavish, and as a result Gaz and him guffawed so hard they almost fell off their chairs. Even Ghost let out a cough that was most definitely a concealed laugh. You were running out of options until you heard the lieutenant call him Johnny; you instantly liked it. It just… fitted him. 

From that moment on you used the nickname, but only in your mind. You didn’t have any of the liberties Ghost had and you wouldn’t take them, out of respect, and shyness. Or at least this had been the plan until you fumbled and called him that to his face. The ensuing silence felt deafening as you were realizing what you’ve just done, and you apologized immediately, mortified. 

He just laughed it off; said you could keep calling him that. True, he had appeared more surprised than irritated, but you didn’t want to take the risk of him simply being polite. This too, had been your plan, until he ruined it merily. 

Somehow he must have noticed your efforts to not slip up again because he teased you about it. 

“Not Johnny today? Did ah dae something wrong?”

You went back to “Johnny” quickly - anything to put an end to the mischievous glint in his eye and the rascally smirk on his lips aimed at you. Being the target of his undivided attention sent a pang in your chest and knots in your stomach. Those sensations weren't exactly unpleasant, but it led to an ominous feeling that this was too good to be true, and that at any second this vision would shatter to reveal the cruel reality; so you'd just grant him a timid smile to confirm he did amuse you, but then proceed to look away.

It's the first time you’re pronouncing “Johnny” with anger; real, raw annoyance, as well as animosity, instead of the fond frustration you usually display when he messes around.

To your utter disbelief, he smiles in response to your outburst. 

“There we go, talk tae me. Even if it’s just tae scream at me.”

The remark pacifies you instantly; you lower your arms, defeated.

“I'm not gonna… I don't want to scream at you.”

You sigh and sit back, setting down your elbows on your desk to take your head between your hands, overburdened.

“The hell you want me to tell you? That my mom's on the brink of death out of nowhere? That when she's gone I'll be all alone in this world?”

You swear, aggravated, as tears sting your eyes again, and this time you ignore if you'll be capable of holding back the flood.

Nevertheless you can still hear Soap curse under his breath, Scottish accent growing thicker, before moving to get on your side of the desk, to reach you, dispensing soft-spoken, soothing words along the way. You pivot to face him, your burning eyes and the sensation of dried tears on your face making you painfully aware that you must look as pathetic as you feel.

Your eyes widen in surprise when you see him kneeling at your feet. His hands reach for your face, slowly enough to give you time to back away if you wanted to.

“A'm sorry, ah didnae mean tae mak' ye cry, a'm a bloody eejit. …Can I?”

His fingers stopped a breath away from your tear-stained cheeks. 

At that exact moment you can’t quite believe what he's about to do, yet you nod your head in agreement - not trusting your voice to not break - all the same, the gaping void in your chest aching for any kind of contact he'd be willing to provide.

His warm fingers cup your cheeks as the pad of his thumbs gently, almost reverently, wipe the underside of your eyes.

“There we go,” he cajoles, meticulously drying any wet spot on your skin.

“A'm ‘ere whether ye want tae talk or not, aye? A'm not going anywhere.”

You stare at him in silence, thunderstruck by the scene unfolding in front of you. Never in your wildest dreams you would have expected to have this man at your feet. He sets his hands down on your knees, squeezing them softly, and is looking right at you, encouraging smile and tender gaze, reassurance radiating from his expression. The position allows you to greedily take in every little detail: the white line of the scar on his chin, the breathtaking shades of blue in his eyes, the gap in his left eyebrow.

As you lose yourself into the work of art that are his features, he keeps conversing.

“We should take yer mind aff things. We could play board games in tha rec room. Or ye could let aff some steam wi’ tha punching bag in tha training room! Ah could teach ye how tae shoot on tha shooting range-”

You open your eyes wide as his suggestions turn progressively more violent.

“I have a bus to catch, and that's overlooking the fact that I haven't done anything in my last hour of work today…”

“If anyone gives you trouble, just say ah forced you.”

You chuckle at the idea.

“You'd never compel me to do anything.”

You can’t repress a loving smile. Johnny just feels that safe to you.

He smirks mischievously at that.

“Na, but they'll believe ah dragged ye intae mah evil schemes.”

He punctuates his statement by a roguish wink that wrests a laughter from you.

“You should take my bed,” he declares suddenly, serious again.

As the silence between you two stretches and your smile is replaced by a mix of shock, confusion, and worry, he realizes how this may sound. Flustered, he starts rambling to defuse the situation.

“Wait, no- steamin’ jesus - Ah didnae mean it like that! I’d take the couch in the rec room, ‘f course. Ye shouldn't go through tonight alone.” 

“Oh my god, Johnny, I could never take your bed from you. You must already sleep on the floor so often for missions…” 

“Exactly, hen. This is nothing for me. The couch is a hotel compared to that.”

You open your mouth to argue more, but then he makes an expression that can only be described as sad puppy eyes, even going as far as slightly tilting his head to the side to perfect the impression. You gulp in response, stricken straight through the heart, and knowing pertinently that you could already hardly refuse him anything, so if he begins to gaze at you like that… 

“Pretty please?” 

Oh no. Not that line.

He's now excessively batting his eyelashes at you, which, while not exactly alluring, is both comical and endearing. Hell, who are you even kidding? You’re so smitten with this blue-eyed creature, is there any act from him you wouldn’t find endearing?

“Are you… pouting?” 

“Depends. Is it working?”

You sigh, aware it's a losing battle, and look away, a futile attempt to hide the ridiculously potent effect he has on you, or to at least shield yourself from his influence, if only momentarily.

“I think you know the answer to that.”

“Maybe ah just wantae hear ye say aye tae me.”

Your cheeks catch fire at the suggestiveness of the words. As if the regular rasp of his voice, that felt like an exquisite caress along your spine, wasn’t already making it incredibly difficult to keep your face at a reasonnable temperature.

“You're gonna get me fired, Johnny.”

“Over my dead body,” he retorted with surprising determination, solemnly pressing a hand over his heart.

You scoff indulgently. Coming from anyone else, the hastily taken oath would be preposterous, but Soap has always proved himself trustworthy.

“Let's go. Your knees must be sore,” you mumble, trying to sound casual.

“Wanna make a joke aboot mah stamina when kneeling but ah will keep it fur next time,” he slips as he stands up, way too smugly for your own good, so you pretend you didn’t hear anything. As if you needed any more incitement into picturing him on his knees in a different context. 

You get up quickly after, but he does not get out of your way. You rise a quizzical eyebrow, his close proximity triggering alarm bells inside your head. If he remains near enough for you to feel his body heat, you’re going to get dizzy.

He simply grins.

“Want a hug?”

You blink at the unexpected question. Yes, implores your touchstarved mind. YES, cries out your sensitive, enamored heart. 

No way, rebuffs your cautious brain. It will only hurt more knowing what you  can’t have.

He opens his muscled arms, smile genuine, almost blinding, like a tacit invitation, and all your reluctance seems to evaporate with that simple gesture. Before you can linger any more on the harmful consequences this lack of restraint will eventually cause, you throw yourself into his embrace. It feels like falling and flying all at once.

Your hands close on the back of his shirt, near his shoulder blades, and, pressing your face into his shoulder to make the world disappear for a moment, you cling to him like he could rescue you from the sinking ship that was your sick mind. One of his arms close around your waist while his free hand rubs your back, leaving trails of fire in its wake, but bringing you much-appreciated comfort nonetheless.

“You're too nice to me. I feel like I'm taking advantage of your kindness.”

He remains silent a drawn-out second, and you're terrified you just screwed everything up.

“Yer givin me too much credit, lass “ he finally says. “Ah don't go ‘round base comforting every person I find.”

His tone isn’t angry, per se, but it lacks its previous joviality.

Soap tilts his head back, biting his lips, thanking the universe that with your face laying against his chest, you can’t perceive his embarrassment.

He can’t tell you. Not yet. Not now.

He can’t tell you that he used to consider writing reports as the worst part of the job until you came along; until you awarded him a heartfelt, radiant smile when he gave you his; that he noticed how little you smiled outside of artificial ones you fabricate for work purposes; that when he manages to make you smile or laugh genuinely, it feels like a prize, that only he is privy to.

Months ago, he took the resolve to make you smile more; for a while now he started doing his reports more seriously, or even did the ones of Gaz and Ghost, just to have an excuse to see you, to behold the way your face lightens up when he brings you necessary paperwork before you even demand it.

And he certainly can’t tell you about that one time where he handed over his reports in advance, but you weren't there, so he left, heart heavy with disappointment, dragging his feet, until he heard your voice coming from the room he just left.

“What are those?” you questionned your coworker.

“Soap just dropped them.”

“But… I didn't even ask him to yet?”

Perplexity combines with glee in your voice.

“He's a good boy, isn’t he?” prompted your colleague.

You let out a fond, wistful sigh, before responding, half-joking.

“I know! Such a good boy for me.”

Getting to hear you beaming over his benevolent action was already a treat, but witnessing that compromising exchange? To be called a “good boy” by you short-circuited him. He swore - “Steamin jesus” -, ears burning, face on fire, covering it with one hand. He needed to leave badly. Seek refuge in his room, where he could be free to replay that tantalizing line on loop in his mind. “Such a good boy for me.”

Your heart beats a bit faster than usual as you obediently follow Soap through corridors you’ve never been in before. You trust him with all your heart, but that doesn't change the fact that what you’re doing is against the rules; and those rules aren't high school's, but the ones of a military base.

You flinch hard as a familiar voice screams in your direction.

“SERGEANT MACTAVISH!”

Oops, you think. That's Captain Price, your supervisor, and he sounds pissed. You never witnessed him calling Soap by his last name before, but that being said, you never saw him deal with a kidnapped assistant either.

You've been caught red-handed. 

Your mind begins to come up with plans to lessen the punishments that are without doubt about to descend upon you two, but Johnny grabbing your hand brings you back to reality. 

You lift your gaze to him. He doesn't seem worried at all, if anything… is that a spark of delight in his eye?

He only pronounces one word.

“Run.”

So you run, carried away half by adrenaline, and half by the sergeant dragging you. Thankfully Soap is aware that there's no way you can keep up with him and his training, so he comes to a halt a minute later.

Panting hard, you double over, hands clenching your knees for support, heart thumping in your chest, blood throbbing in your ears.

“Why… are we… running…!?” you manage to exhale. “It's only… gonna make… things worse…”

By your side, he's standing fresh as a daisy, barely ruffled by your flight. The sight would be infuriating if his eyes weren't glinting with amusement and he wasn’t offering you a dazzling smile.

“Because it's fun,” he affirms like it's evident.

Little by little, you catch your breath, throwing Johnny a look that's half in earnest, half in jest.

“More fun for you than for me.”

He doesn't get flustered by your moderate reprimand.

“Is it selfish o' me tae wantae spend more time wi' ye? Didnae want us tae git interrupted yet.”

The line feels like a punch to the chest, stealing the breath you just recovered and leaving you agape.

He takes your hand again with the natural of a well earned habit.

“C'm'on, ah have more than one trick up mah sleeve.”

You're unsure which of the views unfurling under your eyes is the most magnificent; the sunset in front of you that's painting the sky in shades of pink and orange, or the striking man by your side whose eyes could rival the most astounding sights.

Nibbling on the dinner Soap smuggled out of the cafeteria with too much ease for it to be his first time, you regularly sneak glances at him as he fills the silence with tales of his adventures - the parts that aren't top secret, at least. You two totally did not break onto the roof moments ago, no sir.

Goosebumps travel along your arms and any exposed skin as the night falls and the sun takes away the warmth with him. You furiously brush the outside of your arms for heat, and you're about to suggest finishing this inside, when a jacket lands on your shoulders.

It is still warm with his owner's bodyheat, deliciously so. You curl up and drag it closer, your face on fire. Realizing that Soap gave you his jacket without you even having to ask or complain about the cold… you’re conflicted between obsessing over this like a giggling schoolgirl, and feeling apologetic.

Once you more or less got your blushing under control, you turn to him, displaying a contrite expression.

“I don't want to take your jacket on top of your bed, Johnny.” you pout.

“A'm a bloody furnace. Wanna check?”

He asks, cheekily, even adding a wink for good measure. As if there was any more artifice needed to make you putty in his hands.

He presents you his bare arm for the taking, all golden skin, bulging muscles and a constellation of white scars.

You indulge him and lay a hand on his bicep, knowing he won't relent otherwise; that is definitly the only reason; it has absolutely nothing to do with your own desires.

Indeed, he's burning. As you envy and bask in the heat provided by his body, forgetting that your touch is lingering too long for someone who is just a coworker, he chooses that moment to flex shamelessly, showing off the impressive circumference of his muscle. You feel obligated to squeeze it in response, a way to finally meet him head-on instead of passively enduring his quips, and it feels like reinforced concrete under your fingers.

You fail to hold back your laughter at his facetious demeanor. 

“You're ridiculous.”

The comment holds no bite, a smile brimming with tenderness stretching your lips.

“I'll be the most ridiculous man on the planet if it makes you laugh.”

He's leaning back, hands propped on the ground behind him, head slightly tilted to gaze at you, and the earnestness on his face could almost make you believe his words.

Almost.

But instead a sharp pang pierces your chest, right between your lungs, at heart's level. The smile you return him in spite of yourself oscillates between content and heartbroken, before opting for the latter. 

Tomorrow you will ask him, maybe even plead; tomorrow you'll ask him to put an end to the flirting. You cannot bear it. 

But just tonight, you'll indulge it. You'll pretend to be normal, a well-adjusted human being, instead of a broken shell; you'll act like an adult for who flirting is a regular event and not the mental equivalent of a nuclear bomb.

You abruptly stand up, dusting yourself off, purposely ignoring the newfound lack of understanding on Soap's face and how his mouth opened for a question.

“It's getting late,” you state, not nearly as casually as you'd like. “I'm beat!”

You're running away and you know it; but you never claimed to be brave. Really, it is the best solution for everyone involved, or at least it's how it has always seemed to be your whole life.

He escorts you to his room - of course he does. Even if he already picked up his things earlier to crash on the couch, already showed the place to you.

As you awkwardly face him on the doorstep after saying your goodbyes and your thanks, unable to look away yet incapable of making eye contact, pain flares in your torso thinking of him, somehow intertwined with joy and gratefulness for his existence. Maybe your inner struggle shows on your face because next thing you know, he cups your cheek, forcing you to look up, but as the deranged idea that he's about to kiss you manifests in a remote corner of your mind, your brain swiftly shuts off as his lips make contact with your forehead.

The touch is light yet your entire being seems gathered on that point of contact.

“G'night, bonnie,” he half-whispers, as if to make sure his words exist only for you.

He grants you one last smile, small but so sweet you feel your heart tightens.

“Good night, Johnny,” you manage to articulate before sheltering in his bedroom. The room smells like him.

The moment the door shuts behind you, you rest against it, tilting your head back, letting out a deep sigh. Morbid curiosity pushes you to glance in the adjacent bathroom's mirror, if only to see what you look after this evening. A flustered mess? A sorrowful wreck?

Catching your reflection's eye makes you grimace as you realize an incriminating detail.

You forgot to give Soap his jacket back.

[astoldbysteph]

i feel like people aren't gonna like what i am gonna say but after numerous talks with rp friends, i think it's important to at least yap a little about this.

i know this you don't owe anyone anything girlypop coochie queef purrrrrrr 💅 attitude is seen as the standard to follow not only in rp spaces but pretty much anywhere (especially online) and idk guys, i think this is doing more damage than good. rping is a hobby, yes, but it's a hobby that involves us collaborating with people in order to have fun and sometimes i feel like there's some inherent selfishness and carelessness that along with a severe lack of communication, is slowly eroding the rpc as a whole.

every day i hear a new anecdote about admins failing to take their group off the ground because of flakey members. or people retreating into their shells and not being able to fully enjoy writing with others due to people ghosting them after three hours. i feel like every single person that does the 1x1/indie thing has a story where they plot someone, make a discord server or set up an established thread, and then they never hear from their writing partner ever again. and this ain't cool, guys.

stuff happens! we all got lives and responsibilities like work and school and family life that sometimes prevent us from being as active as we would've like. or some days we just don't feel like writing for whatever reason and that's valid. this ain't a job, but it is a collaborative hobby so i am sorry to tell y'all this, but we do owe at least a lil bit of common courtesy to people who take the time to collab with us.

chats with friends and fellow rpers have me feeling like the rpc as a whole, in my opinion, has a communication problem. group people don't talk to their admins or don't like plotting with other members. 1x1/indie people are used to dropping stuff unannounced and talk even less between each other. roleplayers in general avoid making the first move and prefer letting the other party do the work. like dang y'all, not to be a hag on main but back in my day!!!! there was more of a willingness to talk to others. now everyone is more 'secluded' which i think stems from bad past experiences so we kinda end up stuck in a cycle that messes with everything as a whole.

idk where i am going this but i keep seeing people posting stuff talking about this or sharing similar sentiments or stuff happens to me and i end up making my brain work overtime to try and figure out what happened and what i can do on a personal level to change things and help others stop feeling discouraged and have a better time writing and chilling with people

and also before i forget because my wife reminded me!! it's ok to drop stuff or plots or people and its ok to take ur time to reply. we all got stuff to do or we are tired or sad or obsessively rewatching degrassi or just dont feel like writing and that's so valid. all sane people get it and would be understanding if you hit them up like hey! idt i have muse for this or sorry i took forever! but people don't even do that nowadays and it leads to people quitting, feeling discouraged, OR WORSE, adopting the same mindset. talk to ppl!! rpers are super nice and if you run into a weirdo i will beat them up for u

[novaursa]

Ok I have a thought and everything turn around this song

https://open.spotify.com/track/3gS0VrWH2NyPGXYiFmcagd?si=GyNvN-TlRdK8WaKeFUi8zw

Fem! Reader is supposed to be the daughter of Leanor but she had the strong’s look. She never had a doubt about who her real father is, she always loved Harwin cause he was very closed to her behind closed door obviously.

Growing up she ask her mother to come back to King’s Landing, she might be engaged to Aemond. But everything she had in mind is to kill Larys Strong, the anger she had is that strong that she might even died or get captured but when it’s happens her dragon goes back to harenhal and Daemon and the Strong’s family understand what happened

Blood For Blood

Requests are closed!

- Summary: Sheepstealer lands upon Harrenhal, alone.

- Pairing: None, can be assumed to be a daughter!reader/(father) Harwin Strong (platonic), as reader attempts to avenge her father.

- Note: The reader is bonded with Sheepstealer. I hope this is what you had in mind. Some information had to be left out, so the plot can come together in this short story.

- Rating: Mature 16+ (just to be safe)

- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @alyssa-dayne

Smoke rises above the blackened stones of Harrenhal as the air thrums with the sound of wings. A massive shadow crosses over the crumbled towers and battlements, casting a darkness so deep it feels like the sun has vanished from the world. The creature circling the castle is unmistakable. Sheepstealer.

Daemon Targaryen, atop Caraxes, looks up from his perch on the scorched ramparts, brow furrowed. His silver hair shimmers in the dim light, an almost ethereal contrast to the beast circling above. Beside him, Simon Strong, one of the last of his bloodline, tightens his grip on the pommel of his sword. The weight of realization settles between them, heavy and oppressive.

“She’s not with him,” Daemon murmurs, his voice low but tinged with that ever-present edge of amusement that he never fully abandons, even in the face of tragedy. His eyes remain fixed on the dragon, the massive beast known for its temperament, who now glides through the sky riderless.

Simon glances at Daemon, lips pressed into a thin line. "It is as we feared, then." His voice is rough, aged and worn from years of bitter experience. His face, weathered by both time and the weight of his family’s cursed legacy, holds no surprise, only resignation.

“She went after him,” Daemon says with a certainty that causes Simon’s breath to hitch for a moment. He doesn't look at Simon, his gaze still held by the dragon. "After Larys."

There’s a stillness between the two men, a tension in the silence, as Sheepstealer lets out a deep, rumbling growl. The sound reverberates through the courtyard below, shaking the very earth. The dragon lowers itself to the ground with a grace that defies its monstrous size, its claws digging into the charred earth as it lets out a shuddering snort.

Daemon watches closely as the dragon’s head swivels, searching, waiting. There is no rider upon his back. No proud figure, no fierce expression to match the storm of fury that had been brewing ever since you left King’s Landing. And in that absence, Daemon knows. They both know.

“She’s dead.”

Simon speaks the words that hang between them, his voice barely more than a whisper. Daemon doesn't reply immediately. He doesn’t need to. They can both see it—the truth laid bare in the arrival of the beast without its mistress. You are gone, as surely as your father before you, lost in the flames of vengeance that have consumed your bloodline.

"Y/N..." Daemon finally speaks your name, voice barely louder than a breath, almost reverent. He had never truly known you, not as he had known your mother, Rhaenyra, or even your father, Harwin, but there was always a bond, an understanding. You were fire, like all Targaryens, but a different kind—quieter, colder. Until the day Harwin Strong died.

Since that day, your flame had burned hotter, more dangerously, and everyone knew where it would lead. Even your dragon, fierce and independent as he was, had bent to your will. You wanted vengeance for the father taken from you in the blackened ruins of Harrenhal. You had sworn to see Larys Strong dead for the part he had played in your family’s destruction.

Daemon steps forward, descending from the ramparts toward the courtyard where Sheepstealer waits. The dragon's great amber eyes follow him, unblinking. There's an intelligence there, a knowing that cuts through the air like a dagger.

"She fought bravely," Simon says, though his tone is hollow, lacking any conviction.

Daemon scoffs, the sound bitter. "Bravery? It was madness. The girl was bound to die the moment she swore that oath."

"You are one to speak of madness, prince." Simon’s voice hardens, a rare defiance in it, but Daemon only grins, a twisted, humorless smile.

"And yet, I still stand."

The words hang in the air between them, as heavy as the clouds of smoke rising from Harrenhal’s ruins. Daemon stops just short of Sheepstealer, his eyes locking with the dragon’s once more. He can feel the raw power of the creature, the pain that mirrors his own. Sheepstealer had been with you through it all—the fierce bond you shared had been envied, even among your own kin. And now, with your death, the dragon stands alone.

"She died trying to kill him, didn’t she?" Simon asks, though he already knows the answer.

Daemon gives a curt nod. "Larys Strong will not be easy to find now. He’s as slippery as a shadow in the night."

"That worm," Simon growls. His hand tightens once more on the pommel of his sword, though it’s more out of frustration than any desire for action. There’s nothing to be done now. It’s over. "She would have made a fine queen... had things been different."

Daemon’s eyes flicker with something dark and unreadable. "She was never meant for a crown. Too much of her father in her."

Silence falls again, the weight of the castle pressing down upon them both. Sheepstealer growls low, sensing the tension in the air, the grief that lingers in the stone itself. The dragon looks toward the entrance of the keep, as if expecting someone to walk out and take command, but no one comes.

"Will you tell him?" Simon asks quietly.

Daemon’s smile fades completely, and for a moment, he looks weary—older, burdened by the countless losses that have marked his long life. "No. Let the dragon keep his illusions for a little longer. He’ll find out soon enough."

With that, Daemon turns his back on the dragon, the courtyard, and the weight of yet another death added to the blood-soaked history of his family. Simon watches him go, feeling the same heavy resignation settle in his bones.

Sheepstealer lets out one last mournful cry, the sound echoing through the empty halls of Harrenhal. The dragon knows too now. You are gone, taken by fire, just as your father before you. The Strong bloodline is broken, and vengeance has consumed yet another soul.

[mamawasatesttube]

ok i put a longer post abt tim's Emotional State in drafts for when my brain is less melted but re: tim and going to college im just gonna get a lil silly with it. hear me out.

i have this whole vague story in my mind for tim's college days moonlighting as red robin as he tries and figures out what he wants out of life. (it's a while after rr leaves off and all because he's like. Super Depressed for a hot minute and then has to drag himself through actually bothering to get his GED and applying to college, etc., but eventually lucius is like hey. you're great with gadgets, and you clearly love tinkering. i'd hire you for r&d in a heartbeat but you need at the least a bachelor's of engineering. i know you have a lot of the technical skills, but you need a degree. so tim goes ugh fine i'll get a goddamn engineering degree how hard can it possibly be.)

anyways. i think it's a universal experience that if you go to college and you hang with the STEM crowd, you will unfortunately get to know at least one Fucking Guy. it's like brentwood arc; tim does make friends, but there is just this One Fucking Guy he cannot stand and will never stand. this Fucking Guy is in the common room playing his guitar at midnight. he's drunk and yelling and laughing really loud when people have exams coming up. he's convinced everyone adores him. there's also a detective/supernatural plot going on. the subplot is just that tim hates This Fucking Guy.

at some point, there's a story beat where he as red robin has to rescue That Fucking Guy from a real dicey situation, and That Fucking Guy is really shaken and grateful to him, and he's like okay. maybe. maybe we are making progress. but then the next time he encounters This Fucking Guy as tim drake, the guy is just like. "ohhhh hey drake you missed it last night, it was AWESOME!!! i had to save red robin from a KILLER ROBOT. he's pretty cool though i guess. i bet you wish you could be more like him huh??" and tim is just. I Will Not Grind My Teeth About This. I Will Not. his life is a fucking joke. he dismantles the toaster oven in the common room kitchen to cope. it's definitely to cope and not just so that That Fucking Guy won't be able to heat up his pop tarts in the morning.

at another point, This Fucking Guy looks at street mode, lowkey, unremarkable Normal Car-looking redbird and goes, aw, dude, i thought your dad is loaded?? he only got you a generic-ass sedan?? that sucks lol, if you want we can take my car down to the game instead. and tim is just Say One More Fucking Word About My Baby I Dare You I Fucking Dare You One More Fucking Word.

(also i like to toy with the idea of this being a university in metropolis - he's out of gotham, but not too far. keeps him from getting antsy about what if he's needed because he can get right back over there. and in the meantime, he can hang out with kon and kara a lot, and occasionally enable and be enabled by lois lane and her snooping habits. there's another subplot in which tim and lois get up to shenanigans. at least once.)

it's sort of an introspective thing of him trying to come to terms with the way he no longer wants a fully normal life the way he always used to assume he would - he has the option to walk away from the cape now, like he always thought he would one day, but he just can't give it up anymore. he's fallen into the same black hole he watched dick and bruce dive headlong into. it's also about him finding joy in tinkering and working with his hands and getting to spend more time as tim drake first and foremost. and it's about him venting to kon about That Fucking Guy while they have a lil picnic on the green while kon loses his absolute shit laughing. all against the backdrop of a little mystery or something. <3

OH and also, most importantly. zoanne wilkins is there and laughing at him for assuming college would be easy. and kon gets her into wendy the werewolf stalker. My City Now.

[tiredandkindaoverworked]

Home

In which Dear realizes how much love surrounds them.

——————————————————————————

Dear stumbled to the door, bleary eyed. They opened the door to a fidgety Freelancer, looking slightly embarrassed, shuffling on Dear’s doorstep.

“Freelancer…? Is everything ok? It’s 11pm.”

Freelancer’s mouth opened and closed, their throat dry, nearly choking on hesitation.

“I… um. I’ve been having trouble sleeping. I decided to take a long walk and I ended up here, somehow. Can I come in?”

Dear stepped aside, taking Freelancer’s coat and gently guiding them inside.

“Would you like something to drink, hon? It’s pretty cold out at night during this time of year.”

Freelancer nodded quietly. Dear gestured to the couch, urging Freelancer to sit while they prepared a warm drink for them.

As the kitchen’s space filled with the sound of boiling water, Dear’s phone chimed with a text from Damien, asking to come over.

They shot back a quick affirmation, phone chiming back with an ETA.

‘Hm, guess I’d better put on some coffee too.’ They thought to themselves.

Dear put on a pot of coffee before bringing two mugs to the table, setting them down and wrapping an arm around Freelancer, holding them against their chest. Freelancer leaned into Dear’s embrace, a heavy sigh escaping their lungs.

Damien gently opened the door with Lasko in tow, striding in with a familiarity very few knew. Dear looked back and waved to them.

“Coffee’s on, if you want some. Lasko, your creamer’s in the fridge.”

Lasko dismissed Damien to the couch, knowing exactly how he wanted his coffee. Damien shuffled over and sunk into the couch, a hand seeking out Freelancer’s and lacing with their fingers.

“Been a long night for you two, hmm?” Asked Dear.

“Pretty long. Hux’ll be in later. He’s doing a little bit of overtime.” replied Damien, weariness apparent in his voice.

Lasko ambled over with two more mugs, placing Damien’s coffee on the table in front of him before sitting on the ground in front of the couch.

Damien took a sip of his coffee, humming contentedly as Dear gripped the remote, scrolling through lists of movies and shows to watch.

“Hmmm, dunno what we should watch.”

“Well, whatever we do, we can’t watch anything that requires all of us to be together.”

“I know Gavin was interested in rewatching Avatar.”

“The one with the humans or the ones with the blue people?”

“Well, they both technically have humans, but the one with strictly humans. I think he mentioned he never actually fully watched it and he wanted to watch it with all of us.”

Their conversation was cut short by a gentle knock at the door.

“Door’s open.” Freelancer called to the next guest.

The door creaked open to none other than Gavin, who plotted a familiar course to the couch, unceremoniously plopping down right behind Dear, an arm snaking around Dear’s waist as he hugged them from behind.

“Well, well, speak of the devil and he shows up.” Lasko teased.

“Aht aht, Demon, not devil. Look who’s gotten all comfortable making jokes.” quipped Gavin, pulling Lasko’s hand up to his lips and pressing a kiss to them.

“But what were you guys discussing before I showed up?”

“Discussing what to watch. You’ve mentioned wanting to watch ATLA.” Freelancer explained, face still buried in Dear’s chest.

“Mmmm.” Gavin mused. “Hux’ll be here tonight, right?”

The crew murmured affirmations.

“He’s already seen the entire show, if we want to just start tonight. He’s only gonna be upset if we somehow make it to season two and meet Toph.” chimed in Damien.

Gavin gently slipped the remote from Dear’s hand, replacing it with his hand and pressed play.

The group grew quiet, the only sounds heard being the television.

The door creaked open one last time that night, Huxley shambling in after a long shift.

“Hey, darling. Do you want to take a shower? Need something to eat?

Hux’s face broke into a weary smile.

“Hmm, not right now. I just want to be with my people right now.”

He ambled around, pressing kisses to everyone’s heads before settling next to Lasko, arm stretched out over his shoulder and head leaning back against Damien’s legs, who affectionately began running his hands through Huxley’s hair.

“Not that I don’t love having you guys here, but what brought you all to my place tonight?” Dear wondered aloud.

None of them answered. It was a comfortable silence.

Outside, fireworks popped in a spectacular display, ignored by the cuddle puddle indoors. Faintly from a neighbors house, Dear could swear they could heard the song ‘Auld Lang Syne.’

——————————————————————————

@achios i’m not good at writing polyromantic DAMN crew, but i saw ur post and figured shiiiit, why not try it.

[romantichopelessly]

invitation to speak more about the secret good td3 in your head, if you so desire!

Ok so I sat on this ask for DAYS because I wanted to have some cohesive, great answer, but the thing about The Dreamer Trilogy that haunts me is that I can never come up with good concrete thoughts about how to fix the issues I have with it, which is why I reference the “secret good td3 in my head” because it can never fully leave my head in any real way. That being said here’s a list of some elements I would change to make my secret good td3, in no particular order.

The visionaries don’t exist. Liliana, Persifal, etc. are just psychics that keep getting visions of the end, and die for reasons other than their power. Explaining what Visionaries are and subsequently over explaining the magic system of td3 is part of what made the trilogy so confusing and ruined a lot of the magic that the TRC universe already had for me. We don’t need concrete explanations, and psychics can still fill this role. The changing age and exploding added nothing?? to the narrative?? that I can think of?? We can even keep the age gap for Carliana if we want to, just make Liliana an older psychic like Maura/Persephone/Calla. It will even add to the excellent Carmen-Mr. Gray parallels.

Lean more into the themes of the age group. TRC is a coming of age story. It’s about being 17/18. It’s about learning your inner self and getting others to see the true you. TD3 should be more about being 19/20/21. To me, TD3 at its peak is like Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 6. Which is uniquely about the horror of being in your early 20s, losing support systems, having to learn to be a full self-reliant person, grappling with what your parents did to you, and the crushing loneliness of not being around Your People anymore. TD3 has all of these themes, but I really think they need to be fleshed out more, and given proper conclusion that isn’t just “yippee everything is fine now!”

Greywaren is longer. I think almost everyone agrees that Greywaren, as a book was just too short to wrap up all the plot lines set up, and does almost none of them justice. That book needed a whole rewrite. In theory, I’m completely fine with how it opens—Ronan being in a dream coma was foreshadowed from CDTH, and is an idea that I’d actually thought of as interesting before even reading the book. Other elements of this book like Declan’s rampage, Matthew going rogue, etc are great directions for the characters, I’d just want to rework them. I could make solo posts about any of these.

The Pynch breakup either doesn’t happen, or is set up further in advance and lasts longer. Personally, I lean towards the latter. Adam and Ronan’s conflict is set up from the very beginning of CDTH, or even from Opal (Adam warring between wanting to stay with Ronan and needing to follow through with his lifelong plans, and being frustrated that Ronan never asks for anything from Adam (specifically, to stay) ((side note: perhaps Adam’s insecurity here about Ronan respecting his boundaries so thoroughly stems from both having a family that never would respect his wishes, and Gansey (Adam’s model of love, Adam’s model of everything) having to learn not to ask things like that of Adam. What does it mean that Ronan never even tries?)) AND Ronan dealing with the crushing loneliness of being left and dealing with the consequences of having a long distance bf who is more successful than him). So they needed to have an argument about this. It’s also just in character that these two would not be perfect communicators. So. My idea: In CDTH we get no Adam POVs, just Ronan’s side of the story. We see, rather than Ronan just getting upset over one missed text, that Adam begins to pull away after the murder crab incident. We the audience don’t know why, other than Ronan’s unreliable narration and insecurity. So when Adam doesn’t respond to that one text at a vital fraught time, Ronan does what he does best, shuts down, pulls away and self destructs. Then MI rolls around and we start getting Adam POVs. We learn that after the murder crabs, Adam was throwing himself into trying to fix the nightwash situation for Ronan (Adam is not in contact with Declan here, unfortunately). After visiting for Ronan’s birthday and seeing the Lace, Adam starts to have dreams/premonitions about the end of the world (no visionaries in this universe, just psychics who are/were close to dreamers getting the visions!!). So he obviously sets out to fix this alone too. He calls his best approximations to contacts in this underground world that aren’t Declan. Henry and Mr. Gray. (+ maybe also Maura & Calla) ((Also don’t worry Henry doesn’t leave the Sarchengsey trip, just advises Adam on where to start)). Now that Adam has lost contact with Ronan (he was busy and missed the message and Ronan went off the grid like in canon), he goes full throttle into trying to solve everything while managing being his perfect Harvard persona (this gets him close to a breakdown, very reminiscent to Dream Thieves). Perhaps we get to see Adam and Declan working together to acquire sweet metals and understand the underworld of magic together. He and Ronan fight the one time they get to talk over the phone, Adam because he is truly scared Ronan will be the one to end the world, Ronan because he feels like this is another person perceiving him as a failure and wanting to control/baby him (+ he hates Adam hanging with Mr Gray and Declan of all people). By the time Greywaren starts, Adam is wrung out and hurting and Ronan is dead to the world, so yeah. He doesn’t think he can spend emotional energy playing safeguard to his boyfriend’s coma corpse. And then by the end of the book they have an actual argument/discussion no “they didn’t need words” cop out.

The number of Dreamers/Dreams has to be reduced. It’s cool to say that dreams were always integrated into this world, but it creates so many plot holes it isn’t even funny. There is no way Niall could have passed off the Greywaren being a box that brings dreams to life if Dreamers were such a common occurrence. No secret can be kept that well, someone in the black market would have known, and thus Greenmantle/Mr. Gray/Laumonier/ect WOULD HAVE KNOWN !!!

Declan does not have all his character erased by suddenly loving his mommy and daddy. Seriously what the fuck was that. Declan suddenly deciding to forgive his father because actually Declan was secretly the favorite child first is INSANE. Especially after seeing that that changed because Niall and Mor WANTED TO KILL HIS BROTHER!!! The two tenants of Declan Lynch in TRC were protecting his remaining family and fucking hating that Ronan idolized Niall just because Niall loved him best. So why make Declan turn around and do the same??? Suddenly Niall wasn’t so bad because actually he let Declan be shoved into a car trunk during a shootout out of love. I hate this plot line. Family doesn’t have to be forgiven. Understood, that’s one thing. Forgiven?? Not always. Sick of it. The real takeaway from seeing those memories should have been closure to Declan’s arc of learning that dreams should be viewed as people completely.

I definitely have other points but I cannot think of them right now. And I want to post this so I will. But TD3, as you can see, makes me an insane person.

[erinwantstowrite]

Let me just quickly say, cross-overs can sometimes get REALLY difficult to map out and write in a cohesive way but you have absolutely NAILED IT!! I absolutely ADORE LoF!!! I usually don’t even bother reading fics with the ‘Richard Grayson is Richard Parker’ premise cause I felt like they were super confusing and overcomplicated but this fic?? SUPERB. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD I ADORE IT. Everyone’s characterizations are so nice and wonderful aaaaaaah!!!! <33333

Ok ok I did actually have a question as well: would you be willing to share what your writing process looks like in terms of a chapter you’ve already posted? I was just wondering since I’m also currently working on my own fic (it’s been a few years but I managed to get fixated on an idea and it grew legs lol) and I’m currently fighting the organization of it haha.

How do you keep track of the plot points and/or foreshadowing you want to get a ‘lightbulb!’ moment for later? Do you have any tips?

Thank you so much! I absolutely adore your writing AND your art is so gorgeous omg it adds so much to the incredible story :DDD I hope you have a good day!!

I have a secret: I actually didn't like "Richard Grayson is Richard Parker' tag for a while for the same reason. Sometimes they felt like they missed the mark or it's just. A thing that's there? I almost didn't include it for LoF, but I'm glad I did because it changed the direction in such a big way.

Another secret: this made me incredibly happy because I have read so many wikis and scoured the internet to make sure that I had enough info on both fandoms so LoF could make sense to anyone who's reading it, whether they know Spider-Man, Batfam, or neither at all. Sometimes I worry a lot before I post that I'll miss a mark and will confuse people.

As for the question: I definitely am willing to share what my writing process looks like!

Be prepared for under the cut, I love to yap. It's in my blood to yap. And that's why it took a minute to get to this ask haha

(Spoilers for Leap of Faith!! Everything mentioned has already been published ((Chapters 1-11))

I had to go and find out which chapter I wanted to use as an example and I think we're gonna go with Chapter 5 for the most part :)

My writing process is, as described by alighterwood:

I think the description fits because while I'm all over the place, I have to be very detail oriented and I store everything in one spot.

Starting with the overall process, what I find is most helpful for me, when organizing, is having a notebook rather than doing it all digitally. I've been using a 70 sheet notebook that I had lying around waiting to be used, and as of yesterday, I officially filled the entire thing front to back. It's been an incredible help, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it's a lot easier to remember something I physically wrote down than it is to remember something I typed. I'm now on to my second notebook for LoF, and I might even have to get a third.

In another ask, startupkat asked me this:

And I shared a little about my outline process there, but I'll try to go into a little more depth here. Emphasis on little because this is so long.

I write a truly insane amount of outlines in this notebook.

This is just what I can show you, but a good chunk of the notebook is just outlines. Over and over and over again. That's because they're always changing/adapting based on so many different factors. Sometimes I get to a chapter I thought I had fully planned out and then realize it just doesn't work anymore. Other times, I get to the chapter and realize I don't want to write that anymore/isn't as interesting as I thought it would be. A few times I got halfway through a POV of a scene I was struggling on and decided to switch POV's, which will change up the outline for a chapter every now and then.

Which is why I don't write incredibly detailed outlines and try to keep it vague until I actually get to that chapter. It's a lot less daunting to rewrite a chapter outline than it is to rewrite the entire outline.

Fic outlines and Chapter outlines look a lot alike.

This is what I said in the other ask, but I didn't elaborate on it all the way.

I make a list just like that, and then I try to put it in chronological order/in an order that makes sense. I keep the Fic outline vague by writing down "Goals" for a chapter rather than scenes. But I also keep notes to myself if I really think something is important. The more important I think a scene needs to be, the more details I write down to make sure my future self recalls what I had in mind when I thought it up.

Really simple example:

Chap 1 Goal: Peter gets to Gotham and meets Babs while running around. Meet Nightwing too? Get shelter.

Chapter 2 Goal: Bats are like "???" about Peter. Batfam dynamic important... Peter stalking Batfam back? Peter meet Batman >:)

When I get to a chapter, that's when I make a far more detailed list of wants/needs/goals. It's the Step 2 from the Step 1. Here are some examples from Chapter 5:

Needed to have:

More POV's from universe 1299 (Peter's home universe)

Tony's POV more specifically, how he's doing/feeling, what he's figured out

What they've figured out on 1299 side vs what's going on in 1300 (Gotham)

Explaining more about Peter's trauma/his past

Dick learning more about Peter, and vise versa

Wanted to have:

Ned being a more central character

Natasha :)

Loki being a little shit

Tony and Cap bickering

Peter talking to Nightwing again

The last name Grayson

Gymnastics!!

(This is the shortened list, because the chapters are so long)

When I looked at this list before writing my outline, I had to figure out how I could incorporate everything. If I needed more 1299 POV's, and I wanted Ned, Natasha, and Loki, there's one scene accounted for. I had to get their side of things and wanted that trio together. I needed a Tony POV, and I wanted Tony and Cap bickering, so those went together, plus I got 1299's POV of Ohnn and his plans explained.

I needed to have Peter explaining more about his trauma, and Dick and Peter to talk/get closer. I wanted a Nightwing POV, to have Peter say his last name, and them doing gymnastics. I knew Peter wouldn't willingly talk about that, so I had him have a nightmare. Not only did it give readers perspective but it made Peter more susceptible to talking to Nightwing because he was more emotionally vulnerable/lonely, and that's how that scene came together.

That's when I would write down the chronological order of these events by writing out "Scene Blocks." (This is what I wrote down but my handwriting was so bad I can't subject y'all to it):

scene 1- Ned talking to Loki. Natasha should be nearby and observing Loki's behavior. They are not on friendly terms. Ned is more worried about Peter than he is as to what Loki could be up to, so Natasha takes on that role.

scene 2- Tony is freaking out about Peter being in an alt dimension. He should attack Ohnn when he's not prepared for it. Beat his ass? Beat his ass. Cap there too.

scene 3- Peter's nightmare. "Ben, where do you go when you die?" "Where do you think?" "With you. Where you went."

scene 4- Nightwing and Peter.

Of course, things come to attention when writing. Like originally, Tony and Cap were arguing in the Tower. But it was a little too much like his and Natasha's argument, and I kept in mind that Tony is smart. Sometimes I forget that the characters are smarter than I am, so I have to account for what they would figure out. So Tony would have picked up the puzzle pieces and come to more conclusions than I originally thought about, and I figured he'd be way more proactive about it than just. Being in the Tower and waiting.

Which means that that scene ended up being as listed above: having a squabble with Cap, learning more about Peter's dynamic with the Avengers in this universe, and seeing how Tony is reacting to it by throwing himself head first into trying to capture Ohnn.

I'll realize I need something else to be mentioned or put in and I'll have to shimmy things around, but that's basically how it goes.

As for other forms of organization:

Keeping a timeline is so important because it tells you a lot about the environment your characters are in. It's also important to remember what a character has on them, what money they've spent, who they've met/who you have mentioned, every alias that is being used, to read your work and write down edits you want to make before you make them, to write down ideas beforehand of situations you can use, and, most importantly: MAKE A MAP!! This has saved me so many times. Sometimes your brain WILL trick you or make it harder on you to envision a scene. Make a map of where your characters are physically!! It will save you too!!

As for foreshadowing and plot points, I'll let you in on yet another secret:

Your subconscious is doing a lot more than you think it is.

Sometimes when I foreshadow something, I didn't even know I was until I got to it. I very often go back to read chapters that came before this to see what I've mentioned and what I haven't, and when I do, I'll see something and go "I have to bring this back" or "I almost forgot about that!"

Other times, I am very aware of what I'm foreshadowing, and that's because I follow a mystery plot formula. You have to keep in mind everyone's intentions, all the time. How are they feeling? What are their motivations? And: what are they doing right now, while this character is doing this?

Like Beck and Ohnn. From the very beginning, I knew I had to make sure that it was obvious Ohnn wasn't working alone. From there, I had to weave through the story and slowly build him up as someone who's working behind the scenes. Even from Ned's first POV, I made sure to mention that this person knows Tony and is tech savvy.

My biggest tip is to make sure you reread your work or at least skip through it, because sometimes you don't even know that you placed something there.

And sometimes, it's very purposeful. :)

I hope this helped! I really tried to keep it short but I am insane and the process is sooooo long. It sounds complicated but it really is simple when you're actually doing it I swear

[lifegoesonevenifeverybodyisgone]

Is it just me or does anybody ship Willow with Tooth Fairy? I know I know people mainly ship her with Caroline Bartley, her rival and people mainly ship Tooth Fairy with Madam Z(a ship I also like) but why not be creative?

When I first started playing the 2.3 event I was expecting to ship Caroline with Willow since everyone kept saying they were the yuri for the season but I didn’t feel anything much for Caroline. I don’t hate Caroline or anything, I just don’t feel too strongly for her enough to ship her with anyone. My impression was that she had a crush/admiration for Willow and Willow is ok with her but doesn’t feel too strongly.

What I didn’t expect was the story’s main emotional core was the relationship between Flutterpage and Willow. If I can summarize my understanding of 2.3 is basically a doctor tries to deal with unhealthy smog and also mother a cute kid. Said cute kid doesn’t have a good home life and has a witch be her mentor and the one who encourages her unlike other adults (similar to Matilda and Ms. Honey from a Ronald Dahl movie). Witch is depressed and sad because she is disabled but cute kid brings light into her life but they don’t fully understand each other.

Former rival gives exposition and doctor makes it a mission to help witch out of her depression hole. Doctor bridges this gap and allows them to get to know each other and become even closer. She learns about witch and child individually and pushes them to become better by being there for both of them. In the meantime, hat and Fog man have a buddy comedy side plot in the side trying to remove smog.

Witch makes up with cute kid and competes again. Former rival is delighted. Big scary smog monster attack and witch beats it up. No more smog, better career, happy ending!

I loved the story and I want to give you reasons for why I ship Tooth Fairy and Willow. I will call it Willooth. But as of now my internet is limited so maybe later. Go check the 2.3 story out everyone!

[shutupineedtothink]

AAA final thoughts + praise 🙌🏼

Ok now that I’ve had a few days to sit with the finale and let go of my preconceived ideas of what it should be, yeah it really was brilliant. I still don’t Iove ghost Agatha, but I get it. And now I’m really pulling for Wanda to come back so that she can bring Agatha back (this happens in the comics apparently) and we can do a MCU witch movie. Sign Jac Schaeffer IMMEDIATELY, Feige. Lock her down, we all want more of this shit.

As to where the show ranks overall in the MCU, I feel like at this point it has to be #1. Even above WandaVision, and certainly above Loki, as much as I love both of them. This show just does… more. Like I can’t believe how much they packed into these 9 episodes. This is what… a true six hander? Six fully defined characters with fully developed arcs and satisfying journeys? With the possible exception of Agatha and Billy’s journey not being over yet, which doesn’t take away from their arcs and development along the show. (Again, had to let go of my own theories there.) WandaVision at most had 3… Wanda, Vision, and Monica, and I don’t feel like Vision had much of an arc tbh.

And then all the little witchy horror movie references throughout, the incredible seeding of the Billy’s Road reveal, building up and breaking down the coven, Agatha’s incredible complexity as a character and not being able to neatly put her in any category, hero, villain, anti-hero, whatever. You really can’t pin her down and I don’t think I’ve seen that in the MCU ever. I guess the last character like that was sort of Loki, but he had more of a true redemption arc. Agatha just… exists in the gray at all times. You just never know what she’s gonna do. And it’s amazing.

Then there’s the Ballad and truly weaving that throughout the whole show in such a way that it’s instrumental (pun intended) to the plot… who does that? Plus the amazing score that feels just as present throughout. The only comp I can kind of make is Clara’s theme in DW, but the Ballad is way more intentional throughout.

I can’t possibly go into it all but the sheer amount of setup and pay off is incredible. And yet we leave with more mysteries to solve and more questions to ask, which is also incredible!

Not to mention the production design, the practical effects, costumes, makeup — every visual was stunning.

And I’m not even going to get into AgathaRio (and Nicky) and all the tragic complexity there. I get wanting a happy ending but… also what ever made you think this would be as simple as a happy ending? They are a. Capital S. STORY. They’re practically mythological. Who cares about happily ever after when you can have Epic, Fated, Complex Romance that literally transcends this Earth. Like what more do you want?? That is the top echelon of epic romance. Disconnect the “happy ever after” = “good romance” link in your brain, you know? Judge by complexity and emotionality and dynamic range rather than something as simple and boring as do they end up together or not. They’re so wildly interesting and I’m so glad we could get more of them in the future. (Ok I did get into it oops)

And the humor?? I don’t think I even need to say anything. But what comedic excellence from everyone across the board, with Kathryn Hahn leading the charge of course. And to balance that with the drama without undercutting either of them is not easy, but they all did it flawlessly.

I could go on and on but I just hope this show, and Jac, and Kathryn, and everyone involved gets their flowers for this work of art. There’s just so much love and care and intentionality here. It really feels like a standout not just in the MCU but in contemporary TV in general. Easily my top show of 2024, it’s not even a contest. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[applepie2523]

"The problem with how Alicent is written in HoTD

There's a feeling of the show wanting to have its cake and eat it too with regards to Alicent. It applies to many other characters, whose actions are immersed in miscommunication, mystery, or just general confusion to create the illusion of complexity (as astutely pointed out by Rolling Stone's review of this season). This is probably my biggest writing philosophy criticism of the show, but it rears its head the most in Alicent Hightower.

In the books, from the very beginning she, like Rhaenyra, is introduced under the banner of "Dangerous Women". This is what it's about, "The Princess and the Queen". She's an ambitious, snarky, manipulative villain. Not very complex, but undeniably important, and even interesting -- albeit only as a concept, remember the history book/s aren't written with ASOIAF-level characterization -- because she's powerful and influential.

In the show, she's just all over the place.

Season 1 does Alicent's arc in the wrong order

So, she starts out being defined by subservience to her father's whims, while also trying to do good and uphold her own morals despite this. This is why she's sympathetic in the beginning. I see Young Alicent's character as the girl who tries her best, under great strain, to make everyone happy -- her father, Rhaenyra, Viserys -- until she finally snaps in Episode 5. The problem is in the following episodes.

We begin Episode 6 with Alicent all the way she needs to be in order to fully resemble her F&B-self. She spends her days complaining to her allies about Rhaenyra, snidely accusing her of mothering bastards, refusing any attempt at reconciliation and pushing Aegon into wanting to be king. Very jarring, but alright, if we want to drop some of that complexity and make her a full-on antagonist (with a sloppily-bridged sympathetic backstory) then that works too.

Yet, Episode 7 weirdly seems to serve to push Alicent into being the person we already saw in Episode 6. It's the wrong way around. The family tension bubbles and boils, she snaps again, and has a moment of being consoled by Otto, which seems to suggest she is now firmly in the "Crown Aegon" camp -- "Together, you and I will prevail" are his words. Rhaenyra and Daemon also get married and firmly name the Hightowers and their kin "The Greens". The lines have been drawn. A bit sloppy but we're there.

Until... we regress yet again in Episode 8. The two are awkward but soon both women enthusiastically cling to rekindle their friendship. All seems to be going well, Alicent declares Rhaenyra the Queen even after years of building allies and apparent scheming with Otto... But then, on Viserys' deathbed he mistakes his wife for his daughter and this one misunderstanding is supposedly what will get Alicent back on Team Green. Alright.

Yet, Episode 9 reveals that Alicent was completely aware of the scheme to crown Aegon as King the whole time! She is shocked, and, unlike in the books, refuses to take part in this treason. It turns out she didn't have a change of heart at that dinner, it's just that she spent the past 8 years after the Aemond incident being blissfully unaware of the plans and... less angry at Rhaenyra, somehow? Plot-holes aside, the misunderstanding makes Alicent come around to the end goal of Aegon on the throne, and she spends the next day finding him so that she can crown him on her terms -- again, apparently completely caught off-guard that this was being planned the whole time.

It's a situation burdened with so much "complexity" that it loses its direction. Considering the muddled characterization of Alicent up until now, her actions feel confusing and, importantly, not that convincing. The most charitable reading of this is that Alicent's motive is staking out her own position, going along with Team Green's goals but for a completely separate reason, and she is apparently so sure in this that it makes her feel ok about blocking Rhaenyra's queenship and assisting her father in his deceptive plans. Despite being very disapproving of his actions. It's a very tough sell that Alicent's conviction regrading Viserys' last words is so stupidly strong that she can maintain this goal without cognitive dissonance, and as hard as Olivia Cooke is trying to sell it, I don't imagine many are buying. Add in the frustration of the audience being aware that her motives are built on a poorly-sold misunderstanding and there's no wonder people don't feel very connected to her.

Here's another issue with this "ambiguity": Alicent is not Daemon. She may hide her feelings to other characters, but she wears her heart on her sleeve for the audience, so there's no excuse for the contradictions. The intention for Alicent Hightower is clearly not to create an enigmatic force of chaos. Instead, it was to make her an understandable and complex character, and the show dropped the ball on that. This failure can be clearly seen in the average viewer, who easily finds plenty of reasons to cherry-pick Alicent's motivations to fit their biases, as they have been doing since the beginning.

And her friendship with Rhaenyra is just all over the place. I'm not saying there can't be a back-and-forth, but what we have is, within seven episodes: a friendship breakup, a rekindling, a fight and another rekindling, another friendship breakup, 18 years of hostility, and another rekindling. Again, within seven episodes. I would say it's exhausting but it's so all over the place that I found it difficult to be invested. And this is coming from someone who was looking forward to seeing this dynamic more than dragons.

The writers can't decide if Alicent is pivotal or incidental to the Dance

Alicent in the show is a thematic commentary on the powerlessness of women in a patriarchal society... except, is she really?

Rhaenyra and Rhaenys certainly seem to believe she holds enough influence to put a stop to the war. In The Green Council, she's apparently confident of her ability to send Council members to The Wall (although no one takes this threat seriously). For some reason, Otto also listens to her every demand when it comes to Aegon.

It's all over the place.

The thing is, we know her actions made no difference. And I don't mean "Ultimately, the same outcome would take place", no, Otto had already found Aegon and implemented his plans. The episode does not present any indication that any of Alicent's actions, after giving birth to Aegon, furthered The Green's cause.

This makes her entire character feel superfluous. Her convictions didn't matter, her actions didn't matter, her impact didn't matter.

The salt in the wound is there are brief sparks of potential where Alicent could have significant and believable control over the narrative, and these are actually set up very well.

There's hints of a slow-building, indirect yet effective form of power, almost perfectly developed and justified. In S1 and S2, Alicent has been effectively set up to have multiple powerful men as allies -- Otto, Criston, Larys. The interesting part comes from how all these relationships are independent of one another, and each man believes his connection with Alicent to be the most important one (you could also throw in Aemond and Aegon). However, despite this setup, neither the writing nor Alicent appear ambitious enough to do anything with it. None of these men actually do her bidding, and the hints at Alicent having some agency are trampled by repeated portrayals beating us over the head with how powerless she is.

I loved the idea of Alicent as a figure who's maneuvered her way into hidden leadership, with these men serving as her arms reaching into different areas of power. Strategic ruling power through Otto, information and intel through Larys, and manpower through Criston. Using Otto's shared interests as a father, Larys' strange Littlefinger-esque obsession with her, and Criston's life devotion to her, it would have again interestingly allowed each man to have their own imagined "It's Alicent and me against the world" fantasy, believably giving her means to exert her will over the narrative.

It would have also been a great way to bring Alicent to the a comparable level of Rhaenyra in terms of influence. Rhaenyra as the queen has direct power; she can order people about and she has a dragon. Alicent on the other hand would represent a more indirect form of influence. This would've made for a dynamic experience when the show swaps between both leads, fulfilling the marketed concept of these two women as the heads of the war in different ways.

Alicent has enough powerful allies to demonstrate her power within the female restrictions of Westeros, but since the show inevitably needs to remind the audience that all the men want war and all the men want peace -- and since is a show that depicts a very bloody war -- she can't actually use that power to do anything meaningful. Alicent (and Rhaenyra) have to be passive for the narrative to work, and I think that's a shame.

The absence of this power has become impossible to ignore in the recent episode. Finally the show must draw a line in the sand and confirm whether she has influence over the show or not. Given it's now a plot necessity to explain why the war doesn't end with the two anti-war leads managing to talk, the writers were forced to go with the latter. It turns out Alicent can't do anything and no one will listen to her. Yet at the same time... it kind of seems like Alicent didn't try very hard?

Because, while in the S2 premiere Alicent agreed with Otto that violence would be necessary, that was only because of Luke's death which she had reasonably assumed made Rhaenyra no longer willing to negotiate. So when Rhaenyra shows up in the Sept, clearly willing to negotiate, why is all we get a hurried vague scene of an overwhelmed Alicent repeating "There was no mistake" and storming out?

Like her ever-changing feelings on Rhaenyra, like her misunderstanding Viserys' last words, like her being remarkably unaware of the succession plan, it's yet another scene which appears to be duct-taping over a previous problem. The show continues to paint itself into a corner with Alicent's motives, and it feels like one big improv act. The only silver lining is it appears the wild oscillations of her character have finally landed on something that will be presumably kept going forward. I wish it was a more believable end point, though -- are neither of them going to continue trying to communicate via ravens? It's not like the trust eroded between the two, so why wouldn't they covertly strategize together to avoid bloodshed on both sides and move towards peace?

It's been a very bumpy road to get to this point, and when you put it down on paper it's understandable why things ended this way. The show's thematic goals and desire to tell a more fleshed out story, having to balance that with the source material, having to balance that with Game of Thrones, including the prophecy for GOT fans then using Viserys' last words to bridge all of it together... then finally needing to clear it up four episodes later so we can press onwards to the Dance.

The other side of the equation, Rhaenyra's character, also shouldn't be swept under the rug, as the flaws in her writing are just as paramount in contributing to this mess. But that's another topic or another day... and perhaps another post.

Conclusion

Despite my comparisons to F&B, it's important to recognize the writers and Ryan Condal were tasked with a much heftier job of needing to flesh out Alicent's motivations and have scene-by-scene justifications for her every action. This is not something GRRM had to do. The show deserves praise for its general accomplishments, and I've really been a fan of S2's character dynamics, even if the motives don't always hold up under a microscope. That being said, I think the writing choices have been frankly arbitrary with regards to when it sticks to or strays from the source material, and the adaptational issues underpin everything.

Alicent Hightower in House of the Dragon, so far, is a shining example of how the source material can deeply hold something back when the writers don't have a strong enough grasp on a characters' independent existence outside of said source material.

There you have it, that's my "The Problem With Alicent" post I've been mulling over for a while.

I hope this provides some interesting discussion on Alicent particularly, as all I see across most social media is either one-note hatred or unenthusiastic guesswork at her motives. Because those motives do change numerous times across episodes, I felt synopses would make this post more full so I apologize for how long it ended up being, but thank you for reading nonetheless."

[optimus-faked-his-own-death]

OK, so this is definitely gonna be like nonsensical due to the fact of the fact well that was bad dictating this through my iPhone at midnight

so OK so the starratchop is like there is the martyr Optimus prime, and that he continuously dies and tries and tries and tries and then Starscream, the immortal spark who cannot die physically and gets by only on the scrap metal of his neck, and then the Doctor who has to like both catch up to them both every single turn, and yet is only one who is mortal so he can die so there’s always a weird cycle of death that goes around where it’s like reanimation of forced immortality and so it just creates a really interesting dynamic,

especially since like I’m going with Starscream having defected over to the autobots or this is post waror whatever I’m not sure but nonetheless there is Optimus who is thought of as both the most compassionate hero figure (and he still is,, it’s also just weary to not rest for four million years after having responsibility being his shoulder to bear so he is burnt out and still in war time mode) and the bleeding heart but the heart has been mostly bled dry and so he struggles to keep up with the pain of recreating a life, especially when in truth he didn’t really have one before.

Ratchet has had to mask on a gruff and stoic face for the entirety of his career and so now when there is the chance to unmask and rifle through the eons of stress and fear and caring, he is almost unraveling as well.

Starscream has finally been released from needing to hide or scheme and plot and so having people being worried but also distrustful of him creates a guilt and shame over his existing considering a lot of his confidence is just bolstering even though he is capable.

I’m not fully solid on the full characterizations that i have of them but just like having them all having different priorities of keeping everyone else alive in contrast to themself and vice versa and putting them in the context of having to deal with these identity issues seems to be really interesting when they interact with each other

[alltheboysandgirlsiloved]

I really loved season 3 despite the heartbreak and pain, but there are several things that, in my humble opinion, could be explored in a bit more satisfying way. When I was thinking about that, I realized that my dissatisfaction comes mostly from the fact that this season relied on emotional reactions and behaviours rather than conversations.

(spoilers and personal criticism below the cut)

Before you say anything, yes, I am fully aware that jwcc/ct have always been shows that played with viewers' emotions a lot, and that relied on the emotional impact that the characters were taking. It's a plot-driven story with a lot of adventure that roots from sci-fi – naturally, emotions play a bit part in it. However.

Seasons 1 and season 2 were seasons heavily laced with drama. That drama was accumulating all the way to season 3, or rather – to the season 2 finale. And I think that season 3 was the time to actually talk about some things. As I was watching season 3, I couldn't help but notice that maybe sometimes a tiny shortcut was taken when it came to solving some problems, or rather – that some issues were skimmed over, briefly mentioned even.

The best example of this is, more or less, avoiding the topic of Ben hiding that Brooklynn was alive throughout the entire second season. That was a massive part of the second season! He was on a whole different quest! I really thought (I was almost certain) that we would get a scene in which he gets to properly talk to Darius, Yaz, Sammy and, of course, Kenji. Instead Kenji was pissed at Ben for an episode or two, and then the "weight" of emotion was shifted onto something else. Instead of talking we got an explosion of anger and quickly moved on.

The other example that I bring up quite often is not explaining why everyone thought that Ben's girlfriend was fake. I said it before, and I will say it again – it makes sense for the viewer (it's a joke), but it doesn't make sense from the lore's point of view. All of Ben's friends thought that she was fake. Ok. But why? Instead of having this conversation, Ben says "it's been a long flight, so I'm gonna choose not to be offended". Dude, sure, but you have the full right to confront them about this later? Especially since in the first season, he actually asked (not a direct quote, I can't be bothered) "why does no one believe me when I say that I have a girlfriend?", which shows that it actually bugged him. Instead, he "chose not to be offended" and then the emotion shifted to immense joy (understandable but... even more so – he could easily ask later, after his friends saw how happy he was).

Another thing that bugs me still – Yaz briefly bringing up Sammy's relationship with her family during their argument. It was a nasty move on her side, but it also... was nasty for me as a viewer? Like Gutierrez family drama has been more or less a mystery since the first season, and all we get is a short dialogue about this? Blink and you'll miss it? It feels like we deserved more context, longer explanation seeing how massively it impacts Sammy to this day. Yes, perhaps they will explore that more in season 4, but as of now: it lacked a lot, it felt like a cheatcode to explain the situation and quickly move on without dwelling into details. Sammy's drama is sprinkled all over the story but with the build up I feel like we deserved to learn a little bit more - even if not during the argument with Yaz, then perhaps later. Maybe during a conversation with Gia at some point? The charm of a brand new character is that you can info dump them which is a useful tool to explain to the viewer what is going on.

I don't know. I feel like some interactions lacked substance, which is a pity because relationships are a massive part of what makes jwcc/jwct so good. The characters in jwct are much older, verbally addressing problems and actually talking stuff out should be an even bigger part of the show. In the third season, I feel like they fumbled a bit. Because no, not everything is a characters' miscommunication; sometimes it's just a bit of lazy writing (?). There was a space to talk shit out but we never got to see those conversations. I kind of feel sad about this. Betrayed even.

I hoped for an emotional pay-off, instead, my emotional attention was shifted somewhere else, and I didn't enjoy it that much. Almost feel like the communication was neglected in so many points and there was no point in neglecting it (yasammy's fight is a different case btw because with I know that we will circle back to it in the next season). The show would be much "smoother" if there were more moments of talking the feelings out instead of switching from one emotional high to another.

(Again – I really really enjoyed the season, but it doesn't mean that I can't criticise certain things).

[class1akids]

BNHA 426 - First thoughts

I have mixed feelings:

My No 1 wish was Toya being able to talk, so I'm glad we got that. Though super-sad about the "slowly dying" thing. But he's not dead yet - so I'll consider that "open ending" for now.

Way too much focus again on Enji feeling bad - I'm glad Toya called him out for doing everything only when it's too late / doesn't matter anymore

I’m also glad that Touya reached his goal - he destroyed Endeavor, the hero fully. His body, his reputation, his legacy. Everything Touya was created for, he burnt to ash. (But at what price 😭)

it's also super-hollow to say he's sheltering the family from the fallout, after they've just talked about how Fuyumi lost her job (and got a new one through the connections she herself built). How is he going to do that?

What a contrast between Bakugou and Deku getting thanks from All Might and being called greatest heroes - while not a single person in this family thanks Shoto for the extraordinary efforts he made for them (not only in this war, but since his first visit to Rei) -> they never deserved my boy tbh...

The Shoto - Toya scene was easily the highlight of the chapter for me. I really wanted this for both of them. Everyone in the family is talking about how they will talk, but Shoto is the one actually asking a question to Toya; he still wants to know his brother after everything.

And I love how that's the final breakthrough for Toya -words supported by actions - to start crying and to say sorry. I think his inability to cry was one of the big reasons he could never move on, so I hope in whatever time he has left, he can get the emotional closure he needs. And I'm glad Shoto got at least one person in the family acknowledge his efforts, even if with just a "sorry".

It makes me super-sad though because you can see that Toya and Shoto's relationship had so much potential!!! They would have been the best of brothers.

Natsuo cutting off Endeavor is fine for me. I didn't expect a big group hug - all the kids are grown up with their own lives - like Toya said "why not sooner". Them becoming a big happy family was never on the cards. Though I'm more disappointed Natsuo had nothing to say to Toya. He's a lot like his father.

Is Rei sticking with Endeavor? I hope she's just escorting him to the agency car and not like moving back to the house with him.

I'm super disappointed that Shoto got no hug from his mom or even a line of direct dialogue. In 426 chapters, they never spoke directly!!!!! - Shoto is the only kid in the family Rei never had a dialogue with as a grown up. Hori really fumbled her too.

So Shoto - just like Izuku to Bakugou - never gets to respond properly to Endeavor's apology. Still, I interpret his line to Enji and Rei that even if the family doesn't get a dream ending, he's going to be ok because he has friends who support him and he's strong enough to shape his own identity. I'm glad we didn't get like a "it's water under the bridge" or an even worse "I'll restore the family's honor" kind of plot for Shoto. He did everything he could, he did the heavy lifting for every single relationship - he's more than earned his freedom (though I doubt that the public will easily forget that he's "Endeavor's son and Dabi's brother").

It's really bittersweet, but Shoto is still better off compared to where he started - he built some kind of relationship (however distant) with every person in his family and I guess he'll stay in touch without feeling like he has to carry all of them.

And more importantly has a safety net of friends, and he got out from under his father's thumb, away from the toxicity of his birth, forged a positive self-image, has clear goals, etc. He's an amazingly strong person, with a great mental fortitude and I hope in the 4 remaining chapters we'll see him smile at least once. He deserves it.

I'm glad Kiddo and Onima are alive. I would have hated it if they died from the copied Phosphor. I guess Burnin' is running the agency now? Though probably it gets closed down after Endeavor's retirement.

Hawks being the new prez of the HPSC was expected. Let's see what he can do.

Nagant "I want to stay in prison" is super-weird, but whatever. Hers always felt like a half-baked plot.

Gentle/La Brava is the first canon ship confirmed. I don't like them, but good for them I guess.

So next up: Spinner - Deku talk?

I need some processing time and some translations and the missing pages, but it's not the best or the worst. It delivered the thing I wanted most, though less talking from Enji and more talking from Touya and Shouto would have been better.

[lopposting]

The major question of the story that we are now asking:

Why, exactly, does Carlo never "wake up"?

[long post]

[Spoilers ahead]

Well, simply put - Because he is dead.

OK, that seems like too obvious an answer, but I'll elaborate, and bear with me here. I want to recap some elements first so you know where I'm coming from, but I'm also trying not to completely explain everything because that's way too hard and would be too long.

[Currently, we don't understand everything about the story or its meaning. Because of some of the shrouded nature of the lore and narrative, it leaves much mystery. But from viewing these questions and the story from a thematic standpoint, something unexpected and really cool happened. I found that the story and the lore opened up in reverse.]

The easiest way to explain the plot (in my opinion):

It was my impression that Geppetto never “started” the puppet frenzy. The puppets were NEVER breaking the grand covenant, interpretably they are protecting humans by stopping the spread of the petrification disease, it’s just that everyone in the city was infected by that point. 

Now with the puppets killing everybody in a city where everyone was infected (ergo being the result of the disease) Simon can go around harvesting all that ergo and Geppetto presumably plays him by letting Simon collect the Ergo first, and then sending P to kill him. [again, these details may not be completely accurate, but bear with me here]

Why create P in the first place?

He's made in Carlo's image so to speak because Geppetto hopes that Carlo's spirit will awaken. This is also why P is never bound to the covenant (it seems that not being bound to robot laws makes puppet egos awaken faster, since awakened puppets can break the grand covenant). So that is the two functions of P, to destroy puppets for ergo to harvest and so Carlo's consciousness can restore. I was just guessing that the arm of god was enough to get Carlo to revive, and Carlo's mental spirit reviving would be helpful but not entirely necessary. But for reasons we don't understand, Carlo never does regain consciousness.

Geppetto bitterly tells us that we don't seem to have inherited Carlo's memories. There is no big moment where Pinocchio or Pino or P reawakens, fully, as Carlo. He isn’t treated by the story as him. During the course of the game, P struggles to forge his own identity, to become a real boy, despite starting as a copy of the original. It’s a very fitting parable for the genre identity of a soulslike.

However, there are other successful re-incarnations of people through puppets, namely Sophia at the end of the Rise ending. We ask, for consistency's sake, why are puppet-form Romeo and puppet-form Sophia assumed to have retained their original identities, but not Pino? This is just my personal interpretation of why Carlo just couldn't or doesn't wake up. It isn't really based any lore or deduction from story details, this is from more of a philosophical point of view. And it isn't just the luck of the draw.

I had some initial thoughts about Carlo's failure. Romeo was made with intention of continuing to fight against the disease, as it's told that he "made a deal with the devil". Sophia may have been a special case, as she is a listener (Arlecchino even refers to her as the goddess in the tower), she may have had an ergo identity so strong that her essential self could retain this process. But either way, the implication is that Pino may have been able to recover her not long after that final fight. Look at the nameless puppet. The state of Carlo's body is so poor, that more than not his body seems to have been replaced with puppet parts. I think the implication was that Geppetto had been replacing parts as they rotted away. Maybe he had simply been dead for too long. But again, this isn't exactly why I think he couldn't awaken.

Simon and Geppetto

Lies has two main antagonists, although one isn't completely revealed until the last section. Both Simon and Geppetto are the perpetrators of Krat's destruction, but for what seems like different reasons. Simon is trying to be reborn, and Geppetto is trying to revive his dead son, Carlo. Interpretably, they are both trying to become Gods. Simon by grasping the supernatural, cosmic power of one, and Geppetto by raising the dead. They have destroyed Krat in their attempt to become a god, or more succinctly put, attempting to become God, singular. Geppetto's goal is, in essence, the same as Simon's goal - Because bringing back the dead would make him God.

That's why it seemed all so confusing. Haven't Geppetto and the alchemists already raised the dead, as Pino does at the end of the Rise ending with Sophia? Sophia, Romeo, and Carlo were all afflicted with the disease. Their Ergo were all made into puppets, but there's a minor but important distinction here. Sophia is still alive in her condition and actively suffering, this is the reason why she asks us to end her life. It seems as though Romeo lost his friend to the disease, and then made a "deal with the devil" to continue fighting, this implies being made into the king of puppets. We collected Sophia's ergo while she was alive, which we then used to animate the puppet. So the three of them were afflicted with the petrification disease. Sophia perished, Romeo perished, but Carlo died.

Now if we see the sand memories section of the beach, the stalker's words start to gain some clarity. If Carlo died from an incurable disease that the stalker couldn't prevent, why is she too late? Perhaps the goal was never to "save" Carlo's life. She laments; That she was too late, NOT to "save" him, but for him to be able to be restored. The stalker seemed to understand that whatever procedure needed to be done would be useless past the point of death.

I have to admit that there was something that I thought could override my theory. It seems as though the alchemists already were able to bring back both Champion Victor and The Eldest of the BRB, and from the dead no less. We read from notes in the Grand Exhibition that Victor had caught the disease, died to the despair of his adoring fans, but then miraculously made a comeback somehow stronger than ever. But maybe - he had only appeared to be brought back from the dead to the public, as Victor sought the help of the alchemists. And when it comes to the Eldest in the coffin, I'm wondering if he was actually only mortally wounded, leading the brotherhood to consult with the alchemists. [The way he was carried out by his brothers too (shouldered on either side) isn't typically the way you would expect people would handle a dead person]

Mirroring Sophia, Romeo, and Pinocchio, who were made into puppets: There is Champion Victor, The Eldest, and Nameless Puppet. We can see the former three as Geppetto's method of "cheating" God (cheating Death), and the latter three as alchemists' method. Only "Carlo" has a form in either one - The Nameless Puppet and the player, P. The Nameless puppet appears to share a similar undead quality with Victor and The Eldest of the BRB (including the tubes). We know that the collected Ergo can animate puppets, They are puppeting around their own dead bodies.

I feel like the Nameless Puppet tells us in a poetic way that Carlo is gone. My thoughts on this are more abstract. Again, this isn't from a factual analysis, but more of from viewing the Nameless Puppet itself as a metaphor. The Nameless puppet has qualities similar to the other undead bosses, yet the game doesn't describe it like it does Victor and the Eldest. It's not a body. It is a puppet [Human on the outside, mechanical on the inside - the inverse of our protagonist]. And straight in the text, we are told this is "The Nameless Puppet". But we know who Carlo was. His name was Carlo. We split open its head, and there are only cold, mechanical parts, instead of what we in the modern world now regard as the very most essential self (the brain). Because there was nothing to recover, there is no one there. Carlo's spirit had long, long since departed the world.

We are also told through one of the game's narrative devices that the Nameless puppet was the first puppet fitted with the organ. Ostensibly, Carlo's body was being prepared for whatever procedure that needed to take place, but Carlo died before that could happen (perhaps thankfully), and Geppetto pushed forward with his plans anyway, perhaps past the point of no return.

There are two forms of revival and we represent one of them, as in, there was the puppet form of Carlo and the undead form of Carlo. Presumably, the undead form was incredibly destructive, and thus stored away; We are the second try for Carlo's rebirth, this time in the puppet form, but we cannot even wake up without the aid of Sophia.

Lies, God, and the Finality of Death

But doesn't Geppetto actually succeed in one of the endings? Simon fails to become a god, (well, presumably only because we kill him in the process of doing so) and then we confront Geppetto. If we hand over our heart, Geppetto actually does revive Carlo. We see the resurrected Carlo, but with one simple smile we realize this isn't the Carlo the game has been leading us to believe existed. This ending leaves us with distrust and unease rather than a sense of peace and resolution. Simon fails to become a god, and at the bad ending - even if he "wins" - the game makes us wonder if So does Geppetto. No matter what, Carlo could NEVER be truly, and in both senses of the word, honestly, be revived.

[Simon Manus - like Simon Magus, the biblical figure who tries to buy into the supernatural power of God. And Geppetto, of course alluding to the 1883 italian novel The Adventures of Pinocchio - a puppet master, a creator indeed, but of wooden imitations of life, and a poor imitation of God]

So, why I think Carlo could not wake up? Because whatever needed to happen could not be done after the actual point of death, and Sophia and Romeo's hearts were both transferred before they actually died. His spirit had long gone from this world. Krat has methods of eternal life, but these transfers happened while they were still alive. While the alchemists and Geppetto could certainly cheat death (as we maybe even would with modern day medicine), they could not defeat it. Carlo can no longer wake up, Carlo can never wake up again, because he is dead.

[talahsaudiobooklibrary]

⚠️MAJOR WATCH ME SPOILERS! DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED THE BOOK!⚠️

this is my official yap session

first of all, let me just say… THIS BOOK WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! I loved it so much that I can say it is probably one of my favorite shatter me books. Top 3 at least. It absolutely destroyed me. It had me screaming, crying, throwing up. Did this book have me staying up till 3 AM? Yes. Was it worth getting only 3 hours of sleep? Also yes.

let me just talk about the plot because it was INSANE. I’ll admit I was a bit confused at first about how things on Ark Island work but after reading on I caught on. If I didn’t hate the Reestablishment before, I sure do now. The amount of crazy stuff they do, like with the Nexus, was just shocking. The whole idea of the Nexus is actually freaky like what they can literally see into everyone’s head, know their thoughts, and basically have full control over their subconscious. Even though we never actually got to meet Klaus, I can’t be the only one who pictured Klaus Mikaelson from TVD.

ok so now I get to yap about James because my boy is not 11 years old anymore. He is fully grown man with adult feelings. It honestly took I few chapters for me to adjust his image in my head cause it was hard not picturing him as a little boy. But reading his inner monologue made it so much easier to see him as the adult he is cause my bro thinks some crazy (and very hilarious) stuff. When everyone guessed that he looks like Aaron and has Kenji’s personality, they were not wrong. And it’s honestly the best combination. I will even say that this man’s fighting abilities competes with THE Aaron Warner Anderson. Which makes sense considering that Aaron literally took James in and raised him after he and Juliette got married. But there were some scenes that had me picking up my jaw off the floor. Like that one scene where James singlehandedly SLAUGHTERED like 30 soldiers right when he was about to have his organs harvested. Imo, that scene rivals Aaron with the machete scene. Also tell me why james is such a gym bro, like I can only imagine what kind of abs and biceps he has. James was just so beautifully perfect and I’m so happy he got to grow up and be the man he is.

Rosabelle was honestly so perfect in this book too. I think her as a character is just so complex like with her backstory and everything she just has so many layers to her. Her POV chapters had me crying the most because WHAT TF DID THE REESTABLISHMENT DO TO MY GIRL?! All the times in her inner monologue that she would remind herself that she is dead inside had me bawling my eyes out. She’s definitely one of those morally grey characters but based on her thoughts of the Reestablishment and of herself by the end of the book I have hope that she’ll change. Cause at the end of the day she was basically forced to be the killing machine that they raised her to be. I also don’t know if I should hate her dad, Hugo, cause I mean he is the reason why she and her family ended up on Ark island and his betrayal is what led to her mother killing herself (also what is up with FMCs watching one of their parents shoot themselves in the face it reminded me of Lyra Kane) but at the same time he’s working for the new republic so he has to be good… right? Also I feel so sorry for Clara like I wonder what she’s sick from. When Rosabelle mentioned the asylum I just new James remembered Juliette and that’s what made him not kill Rosabelle. And… WHO TF IS SEBASTIAN? AND WHY DOES HE WANT TO MARRY ROSABELLE?! I hate him so much like who does he think he is? Rosabelle’s disgust for him is so understandable.

I’m honestly so happy that Tahereh Mafi delivered on the whole “enemies to lovers” thing but at the same time WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME?? WHY DID THE BOOK END LIKE THAT?? WHYYYYY 😫 that ending was just shfhfbhfbfhfbfh infuriating. They were supposed to be endgame but nooooooo they just had to become enemies and that last few chapters and the book had to end with Rosabelle going to prison for something she didn’t do and James feeling betrayed. because my girl didn’t do anything wrong she didn’t even kill the Leon dude! Ok fine she did kill the other two people (I forgot their names) but that was because in the moment she was freaked out by what she just saw and it was just on instinct. Her only options were fight or flight and her being the trained assassin that she is she chose fight. But her and James’s dynamic is sooo cute they will, and I mean they will because I insist it, be endgame. Like the amount of times James would care about her and ask her if she was okay was just so 🥰 And the fact that in her inner monologue Rosabelle literally says that when she is around him she can’t die inside because he makes her feel alive was just so 🥰 The fact though that the look of disappointment on James’s face at the end was enough to make Rosabelle actually die inside will forever haunt me. The fact that James had to point a gun at her head afterwards will forever haunt me. The fact that Rosabelle admitted that the only person she trusts and feels comfortable talking to is James will forever haunt me. The fact that even though she “betrayed” him, James still cared for and was worried about Rosabelle will forever haunt me.

On a brighter note, THE OG GANG IS BACK!! Let me say that 30 year old Aaron is still as fine as ever. His relationship with James was SOOO CUTE I love them. 30 year old Kenji is still as fine as ever. (Despite how sad it was I am so obsessed with that fight scene between Kenji and Rosabelle) AND MY GIRL JULIETTE IS PREGNANT!! AARON’S GOING TO BE DAD!! YAYYAYAY! though it is very sad that they’ve almost had 3 miscarriages, Juliette’s parents (even though they’re already dead) when I catch you… Also, I absolutely REFUSE to believe that Kenji and Nazeera broke up. Like why??? They were so perfect. But it’s ok cause I’m sure they’ll get back together in the future books (that’s my delulu self talking) Nazeera is not going to end up with an Arab dude (though as an Arab myself in her defense Kenji has a point, Arab dudes are quite something)

Anyway my yap session turned out a lot longer than I thought. As you can tell I really enjoyed the book and I still kind of have more to say but I don’t want this to end up being an essay (though it kind of already is). In short this book made me happy, made me depressed, and made me laugh. It was absolutely gut-wrenching and heartbreakingly beautiful 🥹 I need the next book immediately

Thank you for coming to my ted talk 🫶🏻🫶🏻

[dailynoodlezz24]

Ok, i had the thought (since i love werewolves and vampire stuff, liches, all that-- I blame Skyrim and its unhealthy amount of beautiful mods-- and Dungeon Meshi just seems so perfect about it with its races and stuff) what if Marcille's a dhampir, basically a human vampire crossbreed, who seeks to become fully vampiric in order to be able to sire in lieu of the dungeon lord/universal longevity plot. (Spoilers: she still doesn't get it in the end lmao) Falin is a longtime friend of hers through a backstory I still haven't made up yet, and Marcille's introduced as a new addition to the main cast, who are a party of hikers (or for some sort of venturing activity). Month in, Falin's gone and had herself eaten by some weird dog described in only folklore, which Laios would later excitedly incite as a "lycanthrope". (They tried to call emergencies for a missing person, but they came up with nothing. Everyone thinks Laios is going insane when he concludes that the sight they saw after Falin became officially missing, blood trails and offly wolfish tracks fading off to somewhere, was the work of a wolfman, or a werewolf, and suggested going to search for Falin themselves. Namari and Toshiro leave promptly) Chillchuck and Marcille stay with him, one determined with his navigational skills and the other fully believing in this supernatural theory. They decide it's best they start camping in the forest, deeper and closer to the wilderness, prompting them the idea: hunt for their share. Which may or may not be illegal :shrug They meet Senshi, one hell of a wildchef man. (Marcille's total disgust with the idea of eating out in the wild stems from the fact she doesn't want to survive off of squirrels again. But this food is pretty good, and she's eating other animals than small rodents this time. Chillchuck just doesn't want to hear about the weird ass facts about how skinwalkers might be related to humans and their horrific hunting tendencies while eating.) The deeper they go, the more strange and bizarre this forest becomes. First normal, unassuming, then the ravens start speaking and the rabbits have horns. And if you peer into it close enough, your eyes might just find company in where the campfire doesn't reach. So on and so on, they find Falin's bones in the corpse of the creature, and suddenly there's a little guy with white hair and crazed, purple eyes(thistle), who beats them all off with a stick(not actually lmao). Last they see is Falin's remains being reanimated with the dripping blood of the stranger. (Marcille had tried in desperate attempt to revive Falin with her own blood/bite, but to no avail, revealing herself in the process. The only thing she can note is the awful taste of something doglike, aka the lycanthrope disease circulating in Falin's bones-- since they were chomped before she died RIP.) Now they're against a highly aggressive abomination under the servitude of someone out to get them. And the opps are on them(canaries) Now I'm just thinking abt whether or not to make Marcille also a werepyre? Considering it would make sense for her to also get her human-half infected into something "full-fledged" in the way she hadn't intended, and still come up without the ability to sire(she wants to make a cauldron for company, a cauldron being like a vampire made family, due to the same motives of keeping her loved ones). Thank you for reading my ramblings, I am brimming with ideas for this AU.