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somewhereincairparavel · 2 months ago

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Annabeth Chase and Jason Grace - two sides of the same coin, an analysis post.

after a long wait, I've finally posted my analysis on jason/annabeth being similar, and mirroring eachother as rivals/potential sibling figures more than percy/jason's 'bro rivalry', based on this post of mine which has crossed over a THOUSAND notes in the last week alone, and I've been getting so many reblogs and comments asking me to expand on my tags in that post and do a full analysis. so here it is. I've been procrastinating this for quite a while now for some reason but I'm glad I'm over my writer's block and I got to articulate my post well enough.

annabeth and jason have had very minor interactions throughout hoo, but the parallels and similarities in their character is jarringly noticeable, which is why I hoped for a jason/annabeth rivalry and not a percy/jason rivalry. they've both been raised at their respective camps since they were literal kids, they were well versed in their respective fields of knowledge, and were well respected/intimidated in their camps.

let's start off with the lost hero

when jason first meets annabeth, he says that her eyes were really intimidating and fierce, so right off the bat, we have jason who's pretty put off by annabeth because she very obviously looked angry, especially since she was frustrated about jason's arrival instead of percy, and looked like she could kill jason to get percy back.

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this parallels to a lot when hazel kept going on about how difficult it was to warm up to jason because his eyes were always calculating and cold, and he gave off an untrustworthy vibe, that he'd sacrifice anyone for the sake of the mission.

both annabeth and jason have a certain similar ‘look’ in their eyes, which have nothing to do with the color. they both have the tendency to make people nervous simply with their eyes, because they always look like they're thinking of new things every few seconds. Ironically, jason first perceived annabeth, the way everyone else perceived him. scary and intimidating with an icy glare and hardened eyes.

They were both said to be ‘studying’ each other in distrust many times throughout. A part of why they didn't trust each other, was, in my opinion, because they embodied their least favorite shared personality trait of each other, secretiveness and guardedness. which is why annabeth got on so well with percy, and jason with leo/piper.

they didn't admire the closed off-ish vibe that they gave eachother. they both needed people who were open and carefree.annabeth said that jason looked like he knew too much information, but chose to keep it all a secret, very similar to her own guardedness from time to time, keeping it a secret and wanting to deal with it silently.

we also know that annabeth and jason are extremely knowledgeable in greek/roman mythology, they both love debates and were quite passionate about history. they were both assigned architecture projects by the gods themselves as a mark of honor and favour.

moving on to the next most important point, they reminded eachother of the people they missed, causing them to feel resentful.

jason, barely met his sister after they reunited. he was bitter when thalia said he had to go look for percy to help out annabeth with the search. he was aware that thalia and annabeth were childhood friends, getting closer to eachother than jason and thalia ever did. she found a home in luke and annabeth, not even a few months after baby jason was thought to be ‘dead’, that knowledge would've weighed a lot on jason. annabeth became the sibling to thalia grace that jason could never be.

while annabeth? the only thing annabeth thought of, after jason had a face off with his mother's remnant in boo, was the fact that jason, who looks eerily similar to luke, could've experienced the exact same fate as him. luke was jason if he had more wrath and held grudges, jason was luke if he had less anger and resentment. annabeth could connect the dots so easily, and that was truly the moment where she gained immense respect for him.

and, when jason told annabeth that his sister was thalia? she had a very odd sort of expression on her face.

annabeth also quotes that looking at jason made her feel bitter, because he reminded her of heras exchange, and the fact that she lost percy for months. whenever she looked at jason, she would only see her two childhood friends, a found family that was broken, and a love that was challenged.

whenever jason looked at annabeth, he would be reminded that thalia had a closer contact to her than she did jason, and had to accept that he would never know thalia as much as annabeth does.

annabeth and jason also appear very confident and sure of themselves, but have second thoughts all the time. they had to put on a fake facade, to live up to their expectations and lineage.

they were both also sort of people pleasers, annabeth couldn't really say no to anyone who asked her for help with things, like carrying the sky for luke especially, because not only where they giving her a chance to execute her knowledge and skill, the thought of helping someone made her genuinely happy. jason also loved seeing people happy, always wanting to say the right thing to satisfy someone, even if it meant he had to sacrifice his own struggles to help them.

fatal flaws:

annabeth’s fatal flaw, is hubris. when you are confident and sure that you can do something, and have a sense of excessive self pride.

and jason's fatal flaw is the temptation to deliberate. hesitation and second guessing, to put it in simpler words.both fatal flaws are so different, yet so similar, and they have both flaws, just in a different viewpoint.

as a child of athena, annabeth appears super confident and even conceding at times because of her wisdom, but at the same time, annabeth had to make sure she was one step ahead of everyone. she had to rethink everything and had to have a plan in her mind all the time, fearing that things wouldn't go smoothly.

she had to hesitate and second guess herself alot, despite her knowledge, like she did when she knew she had to look for the mark of athena. piper and percy had to boost up her confidence with affirmations, to let her know she's on the right path and to just follow her gut. annabeth feels obligated to have a temptation to deliberate, because, as a child of athena, she has to be all knowing and wise, and most definitely cannot fail her mother.

and jason? despite having a very low sense of self esteem and hesitation, he was so used to leading the people who were considered slightly inferior to him in camp jupiter, and basically getting treated like a celebrity for 12 years of his life in camp jupiter, that often, he thought what he did was right, he had his own perception of what a hero should be, and I quote

[“No, no,” Jason said. “I made my choice. You’re not to blame. You don’t owe me anything except to remember what I said. Remember what’s important.” “You’re important,” I said. “Your life!”Jason tilted his head. “I mean… sure. But if a hero isn’t ready to lose everything for a greater cause, is that person really a hero?”He weighted the word person subtly, as if to stress it could mean a human, a faun, a dryad, a griffin, a pandos… even a god”- Tower of Nero]

which was normal, since he had everyone basically following his lead without question as a kid. he's expanded on this in his conversation with piper in mark of athena, where he said he felt weird to suddenly be around people who were either equal/or superior to him in power, and not being in the ‘lead’ particularly.

jason had hubris, but certainly not in a way that you would call it an ego or excessive pride. he was hardwired and brainwashed into having his own perception of what is right and what is wrong, that he thought he was always making good enough decisions, at least from a roman child soldier’s standpoint. [Like when he was okay with not saving nico because it might sabotage their mission, he genuinely didn't think what he said was insensitive until hazel called him out, because he was brought up that way. he thought he was doing the right thing, by prioritising the mission and the duty, first. Like the dutiful roman he was made to be].

both annabeth and jason, have hubris and a temptation to deliberate.

annabeth and jason, also had an extremely difficult time breaking free from the thoughts that their godly parents were always right. It took on alot of disappointments for both of them to stand up to their parents (and not just godly ones, mind you)

they've both had disappointing absent mortal and godly parents with a hostile stepmother involved and monitored with each and every one of their moves. annabeth has had to deal with her stepmother playing the ‘bad cop’ with her father not even coming to her defence, just the way hera came butting into jason's life and giving him terrible memories, taking him away from thalia, with zeus not even caring.

speaking of which, they are both the only demigods who have harboured the most amount of resentment for hera. just the sight of hera pisses them both off, as it hera, stripped off so much time away from annabeth and percy, and memories from jason, which he never permanently got back.

this is sort of irrelevant but I'll add this anyway, in boo, athena also immediately liked jason for calling out zeus's unfairness to apollo, saying something like 'the boy is right' and she gave him an approving/appreciative look for his wisdom, which is pretty rare for athena to say or do to literally any demigod ever. this makes me wonder if she ever saw jason as someone who had some sort of athena legacy in him, which is why she was so pleasantly surprised with him. ugh we could've so gotten jason and annabeth as potential sibling figures bc of how many parallels they have, too bad that the percy/jason rivalry narrative was pushed too hard.

I hope I've drawn enough parallels with their characters, as a lot of you have been looking forward to this post for a while, hopefully this analysis hasnt been underwhelming for you all to read!

@thevoidcaller @karmaajr @onestorytorulethemall @newlyfoundwren @thesummerstorms

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lacesoflove · 25 days ago

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glimpses of you pt. 1 | hamzah x editor!reader

rating | slightly suggestive, nothing too crazy though

warning | semi-proofread! smoking of ganja lol

author's note | will be rewriting this slightly because i hate most of this but i wanted to put something out :) also my first series ayeeeee

YOU HAD FOUND YOURSELF IN THE DESPERATE PREDICAMENT OF EITHER KILLING YOURSELF OR TURNING TO ONLYFANS.

Both options felt equally unappealing, and frankly, a little extreme for what the was, at its core, a mundane problem: you were broke. Flat out. You were just another college student drowning in debt, tuition fees rising like clockwork, and your part-time gig at the campus café barely covering any of your basic expenses. Still, you didn’t fancy having your ass plastered on the internet, and suicide seemed a bit tedious if not dramatic. So there you were, perched on the rickety communal library computer, two minutes left on your internet credits, with the only things popping up on your screen were clearly scams or were posted by “Jessica” or “Alex” living 5km away who, shockingly, wouldn’t be resolving your financial crisis.

Then, as though God had decided to throw you a bone, you saw it: a post for a part-time video editor.

The job was listed by someone named Mandy, a vet who was working as a vet but also did YouTube on the side, and working full-time with animals didn’t leave much time for Adobe Premiere on her end. The pay was decent—more than decent, really—and seemed almost too good to be true. You clicked her socials out of pure paranoia, half expecting her to be some creepy guy with a burner profile and you realised then and there, in the library of your communal college, all the years spent in highschool doing edits would now finally pay off. Literally.

Without thinking twice, you messaged her and said you’d take the job.

The next day, she sent you a zip file with raw footage, and that’s when it all began.

Editing for Mandy became your saving grace. She sent you a few videos every other week, and you gradually got better at your craft. So much so, in fact, that Mandy stopped reviewing your work altogether. She uploaded everything you sent her without a second glance, calling your edits “art” like you were the second coming of Stanley Kubrick.

Which was an odd thing really. The trust she had in your work - which she’d call ‘art’. It was nice how much she trusted you so much with something so important to her, yet she didn’t really you know you beyond your name, your availabilities and the fact you had a roommate and said roommate needed your help with schoolwork thus leading you to being a bit slower with the updates on a video.

It was kind of difficult not forming a weirdo pseudo-parasocial relationship with her, on your end - after all you’d edit her most intimate moments. Her videos consisted mainly of her and her boyfriend, who you’d come to find out name is Martin. You knew so much about her life - her quirks, her habits, her boyfriend, Martin. He was nice and easy-going. Funny even - you remembered laughing when he noted his surprise that you were just some college student who did Justin Bieber edits back in highschool and not a certified editor. You laughed along, but his words stuck with you. You were just some college kid. And yet, you knew the most intimate corners of their lives—their inside jokes, their fights, the way Martin looked at Mandy when she wasn’t paying attention. Something about the love they had for each other stirred something ugly in you.

Eventually, she wanted to meet up with you. The message came a little out of nowhere. It was around 10am after you had just bombed a test, and you were bed-rotting in your dorm room when you felt your phone buzz and your eyebrows furrow when her caller-ID popped up. “I just feel bad,” she’d remarked in a over the call. In the background you could hear her dog Rudy, if you recall, playing in the background. “You’ve done so much for me, and I barely know you. Let me take you out as a thank-you.” She followed up by saying she wanted to go somewhere downtown, cozy - you rejected as, although it was sweet, but honestly being paid was a thank you enough (as well as the fact that you could barely afford some of the places she suggested) - but she was relentless in her generosity so you gave up, put on the most “I am not a broke college student and this restaurant you suggest will definitely not financially break me” outfit you could find in the depths of your, and your roommate, closet and met up with her. The dinner was…nice. Mandy was calmer than you’d expected, a bit blunt, but funny in a way that made you feel at ease. By the end of the night, after too many drinks and a waiter accidentally spilling pasta all over you both, you’d started to think of her as a friend.

You began hanging out at her shared apartment with her boyfriend, sometimes sleeping over with her in the same bed (her boyfriend, Martin, banished to the couch). You’d watch movies till the sun came up and helped yourself to breakfast without having the typical self consciousness of being a guest.

And then you met Hamzah.

You’d gone to Mandy’s to pick up a bag of clothes you’d left behind. She’d given you a spare key ages ago—it was easier that way, she’d said—and you hadn’t thought twice about letting yourself in. You figured you’d grab your things and leave unnoticed.

As you walked past Martin’s office, though, you froze.

Sitting in one of the gaming chairs was someone you’d only seen in clips before. Hamzah.

He was leaning back, scrolling through his phone, a dab pen loosely held in one hand as he exhaled a slow cloud of smoke. He hadn’t noticed you at first, not until the floor creaked beneath your weight. His head lifted, brows furrowing as his eyes landed on you.

“Uh, hey,” you said, awkwardly waving.

Before he could respond, the bathroom door opened, and Martin appeared, wiping his hands dry on a towel.

“Oh, hey, Y/N!” Martin grinned. “Here for your stuff? It’s in the bedroom.”

You nodded, eager to move past the awkwardness, but as you left the room, you caught the brief exchange of looks between the two men.

“Who’s that?” Hamzah asked, his voice low but not low enough for you to miss.

“Mandy’s editor,” Martin replied. “You know, the one I told you about.”

Hamzah hummed, and though you were already walking away, you couldn’t help but feel his eyes trailing after you.

After you left, you weren’t really sure how to feel about seeing Hamzah. You knew you had to get used to him, especially considering he was just as close to Martin and Mandy as you were, if not even closer. It was strange, weird even. You knew a lot more about him than you should’ve - you’d seen him before, of course—in Mandy’s footage, in the background of videos you’d spliced together, laughing with Martin, rolling his eyes at a bad joke. But seeing him in person was something else entirely. You wanted to know more about him though, you weren’t sure if that was weird. The memory of his gaze stayed with you longer than it should have. You felt weirder about the fact that you didn’t feel weird enough about it, that you did sometimes wonder what he was thinking of when tying strings of footage together. You found yourself replaying footage of where he smiled more than other pieces of footage. Maybe you were weird.

Martin and Mandy were throwing a get together. It was small, Mandy assured you when she noticed you wavered, picking up upon your your reluctance. “Me, Martin, and a few friends. Totally lowkey.”

You should’ve realised that meant he’d be there.

Hamzah wasn’t exactly thrilled about the idea of a party, but the thought of hanging out with Martin made it tolerable. That, and the unspoken promise of weed, along with the fact that it wasn’t going to be some huge, overwhelming crowd. Just Mandy, Martin, Chase, Claire, and a handful of their friends who weren’t part of their usual social media circle.

What bothered him, though, was the mention of a “special someone.”

Martin had been annoyingly vague, but Hamzah knew. It had to be you.

He’d caught himself that day, when his eyes lingered on you far too long as you stood in the doorway of Martin’s office. The second he let it slip, Martin noticed. Martin always noticed. And once Martin had something like that to tease him with, it was game over.

To Martin, it was probably exciting—Hamzah showing genuine interest in someone for once, and not just anyone but someone in their circle. Hamzah, on the other hand, was already bracing for the sly comments, the well-timed nudges, the not-so-subtle efforts to push him into a conversation with you. By the time he was on his way to the party, he already had a headache from overthinking. Worse still, he could feel another one building as he tried - and failed - to think of something, anything, to say that wouldn’t immediately come off as awkward or disinterested. And what if he did mess it up?

The idea of talking to you shouldn’t have felt so monumental, but somehow, it did.

You walked into the party with your roommate, Candance, who was dying to meet the so-called Mandy who, ever since entered your life, seemed responsible for your sudden ability to start paying for your own drinks when you and her went out. Candance was buzzing with the need to socialise and almost immediately departed from you to talk to Mandy’s female friends, one of which being a girl who believed was named Clara or Claire? You weren’t really sure, you tried to avoid Mandy’s other friends, Not for any strange or unkind reason—it was just how you were. Conversations with Mandy’s friends always seemed to trip you up, words slipping out of rhythm, leaving you stranded in awkward silences. Even Mandy’s good-natured attempts to bring you into her group couldn’t quite shake the feeling that you didn’t belong - that you were simply a girl who just edited her videos.

So, you’d drifted, quiet and unnoticed, until you found solace on the balcony. The Toronto air was crisp, a faint chill weaving through the hum of the party inside. You laughed as you noticed someone, Martin probably, had started blasting Nettspend. You leaned against the railing, fishing a blunt from your pocket, and lit it with practiced ease. The first inhale hit like an exhale—something uncoiling in your chest as the smoke curled upward, vanishing into the dark.

Hamzah stepped into the party, the familiar rhythm of low laughter and muted music settling around him. He made a beeline for the drinks, grabbing a red cup filled with liquid courage (something he’d need plenty of).

It didn’t take Martin long to corner him, practically bouncing with thinly-veiled amusement.

“So, where’s this ‘special someone’ you mentioned?” Hamzah asked, feigning casual indifference.

Martin’s smirk was immediate, sly and deliberate, as he gestured toward the balcony. “Out there.”

Hamzah followed his line of sight. You were leaning against the railing, the soft glow of the city lights flickering against the smoke curling from your hand.

“What do I even say, man?” Hamzah muttered, suddenly too aware of the weight in his chest, the too-familiar flutter of nerves threatening to undo him.

Martin shrugged, already stepping away, his grin widening. “I don’t know. Maybe start with hello? Or ask for a hit?” Hamzah sighed. Hamzah sighed, half-resigned, as he watched Martin retreat into the party, clearly pleased with himself. He really needed to get Martin to stop meddling in his love life—or, as both Martin and Mandy liked to point out, his complete lack of one.

Still, here he was, stepping out onto the balcony before he could overthink it. You hadn’t noticed him yet, your attention fixed on the glow of the city beyond the railing. It wasn’t until the soft creak of the door closing behind him startled you that you turned, wide-eyed.

“Oh, shit,” you exhaled, clutching your chest. “I didn’t see you there.”

Hamzah raised his hands in mock surrender, a small grin tugging at his lips. “My bad.”

“Do you do this often?” you asked, recovering quickly. “Creep up on people?”

“Do I look like I creep up on people?” he shot back, a flicker of amusement in his tone.

You tilted your head, pretending to consider it. “I don’t really know you.”

“Fair point,” he conceded, leaning against the railing beside you.

When he gestured toward the blunt in your hand, you passed it to him without hesitation. He took a drag, and something about the faint taste of cherry on the filter made him pause, his heart betraying him with a quick flutter.

“So,” he started, exhaling slowly, trying to mask his nerves with feigned ease, “what do you know about me?”

“Your address,” you said flatly, with a nonchalance that made him blink in surprise.

“What?” His eyes widened, and he gave you a look that silently demanded an explanation.

“In Mandy’s videos,” you clarified, smirking as you watched his alarm shift into sheepish realization. “When they visit you, the background gives away your street and house number. I’ve had to edit it out and censor it.”

“Oh. Damn.” He winced, scratching the back of his neck.

“You’re welcome for not doxxing you,” you said with mock seriousness, plucking the blunt back from his fingers.

“Thanks,” he muttered, exhaling a stream of smoke that curled into the cold night air.

For a moment, the silence between you wasn’t awkward. It hung there, fragile and almost weightless, like the smoke that lingered before dissolving into nothing.

You both stood there for what felt like an eternity, the air thick with the smoke, your thoughts muddled by the high creeping through your veins. The party had been loud, the music had pulsed in your ears, but out here, on the balcony, everything felt quiet. Just the two of you and the low hum of the city below.

Hamzah’s gaze was steady, yet unreadable. You could feel his presence in the space between you—close, but not close enough. It was like you both were hesitant, waiting for something to shift, to give you the sign that it was okay to lean in further.

“So,” he started, voice a little lower than before, “this is where you come to hide, huh?”

You half-laughed, half-sighed, glancing down at the blunt between your fingers before looking up at him. “Yeah. It’s easier to think out here. Or forget, I guess.”

“Forget what?” His tone was gentle, but curious. His eyes didn’t leave yours.

You paused, biting your lip. “Stuff. Life. Whatever.” The words felt a little too raw, too honest for this moment, and you quickly added, “I’m not a big fan of parties, anyway. Too much noise. Too many people pretending they’re happy.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Hamzah said softly, his voice seeming to drop even lower. He stepped a little closer, and you had to resist the urge to step back. His proximity didn’t feel intrusive—it felt electric, like you were both standing on the edge of something. “I don’t really do parties either.” He paused, looking down for a second before meeting your eyes again. “But I like the quiet. The realness. The moments where you can just... breathe.”

You swallowed, suddenly aware of how dry your mouth was. “Yeah, me too.”

There was a moment of silence, and it felt heavy in the air. Your fingers brushed his, the contact brief but enough to send a ripple of warmth through your chest. Your heart skipped a beat, and you found yourself wondering if he felt it too.

“Y’know,” Hamzah began, his voice even quieter now, “I never really thought I’d be sitting on a balcony with Mandy’s editor, talking about life.”

You smirked, trying to lighten the tension. “And yet, here we are.”

He chuckled, but the sound was low, almost intimate, and you noticed the way his gaze flickered down to your lips before darting back to your eyes.

Your heart raced in your chest, and suddenly, everything felt a little too much. The weed, the energy between you, the overwhelming urge to close the space between you.

“I—” You started, but your words faltered. You didn’t know what you wanted to say, only that something had shifted, something that felt too important to ignore.

Hamzah took a step closer. His hand brushed the side of your arm, his touch lingering, just enough to make your pulse quicken. He tilted his head slightly, studying you, as if searching for some kind of sign.

You could feel the heat rising between you, the weight of his presence pressing in. “You okay?” he asked, his voice soft, but you heard the underlying question—something more than just your state of mind.

You nodded quickly, but then your nerves caught up with you. You could feel the anxiety building, and before you could second-guess yourself, you blurted, “This is weird, isn’t it?”

Hamzah smiled faintly, “not really, I think you’re nice.”

The words hung in the air for a moment, and then, without thinking, you found yourself leaning in closer to him. Your lips were so close you could almost feel the heat between them, but then—just before you closed the space—your nerves overtook you. You stopped yourself, your breath catching in your throat.

Hamzah froze too, his eyes locking onto yours, both of you so close yet not quite there. The moment was suspended, hanging in the air like a breath waiting to be exhaled.

“I…” You pulled back slightly, the tension between you thick and palpable now. Your heart pounded in your chest, and you could feel your face flush. Fuck you hated being high. “Sorry. That was… stupid.” You stepped back a little more, suddenly feeling too exposed, too vulnerable.

Hamzah didn’t move right away, his eyes still locked on you. He looked like he was weighing something, deciding something. “No, it’s not stupid,” he said quietly, his voice steady, but you could hear the hesitation there too. He ran a hand through his hair, as if trying to gather himself. “I just—don’t want to make things weird.”

You nodded, but the knot in your stomach didn’t loosen. The air felt charged, and you couldn’t decide if you were relieved or disappointed. “Right.” You cleared your throat. “I should go.”

Hamzah didn’t say anything, just gave a small nod, his expression unreadable. You turned away quickly, as if running from the tension, and walked back inside. The party felt suffocating now, the music and laughter too loud, the distance between you and Hamzah somehow stretching even farther despite what had just happened.

You could feel your heart beating fast in your chest, the weight of everything swirling inside you. Your mind raced, replaying the moment over and over. What if you’d leaned in? What if you hadn’t pulled away?

You asked Candance if she wanted to go home, and naturally, with her charisma she had become good friend’s with one of Mandy’s friends and was knee deep in a tea-spilling session.

You wished her goodbye grabbed your things and hurried out of the apartment, your pulse still racing as you made your way home. The high was still with you, the dizziness mixing with the anxious energy that had taken root in your chest. You couldn’t shake the feeling of his presence, like an echo, lingering in your mind.

As you stepped into your dorm, you kicked off your shoes and collapsed onto your bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to make sense of the mess inside your head. Why the fuck had you tried to a kiss a guy you only know through your friend’s videos? You wanted to scream and kick.

You rolled onto your back, eyes closing, but the image of him, that near kiss, lingered in your mind like smoke—unwanted but impossible to shake.

Would he tell Martin? Worse, would he tell Mandy? Would she be mad that you nearly kiss Hamzah? Would you lose your job?

You glanced at the clock. It was late, and you were so tired, but the restlessness wouldn’t let you sleep. Instead, you reached for your phone again, scrolled through your messages, then stopped.

One new notification.

It was from Hamzah.

“Hey, sorry if I was too forward earlier. I was a bit high. You cool?”

You stared at the message, the screen flickering under the dim light. Was he apologizing? Or was this just his way of dismissing it, making it nothing?

Your fingers hovered above the keyboard. Was he expecting an answer? What were you supposed to say?

Finally, you typed a response, only to delete it a moment later. It was easier to just lie here in the silence, letting the unanswered questions fill the space. You weren't ready for any of this.

taglist: @xoxoange1l @sillyfungirl10112 @adiormoi @cheesecakeluver @homesick4la

#hamzah #hamzah x reader #slushynoobz #hamzah the fantastic #slushy noobz #hamzah imagines #hamzahthefantasticxreader #hamzahthefantastic #hamzahthefanastic x reader

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dani-ya-dig · 1 month ago

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Something that I really love about Sam, and have always loved since I listened to his first video, is how he entirely subverts the expectations for vampires. Not just modern day ones but the expectations that have always been there for vampires.

(And his southern accent but that’s not what this post is about)

When vampires first rose to popularity, what they represented was a fear of sexuality. They were inherently sexual creatures of the night who lured innocent people into the shadows with their powers of seduction only to drink their blood.

We even see this in most of the redacted vampires. Vincent was literally introduced as “the flirty vampire”. While later he was given some depth and we learn that he just picked up that act from Porter, it was still an integral part of him in the beginning. Even Alexis, as little from her as we have heard, she speaks in a very low, sultry tone. Even when she isn’t trying to be flirtatious.

This is a very inherent part of vampires some lore even describes it as a power that they have. (I believe this is addressed within Castle Audios lore as “the lure”)

But Sam doesn’t have that. He isn’t flirty. He isn’t seductive. Not in the traditional way anyways. (Because HOO BOY AM I SEDUCED)

Sam doesn’t try to lure Darlin in when they first meet. He doesn’t really try to lure darlin at all, really. They just naturally grew close. It was active flirtation, it was just chemistry and care.

Even when they do admit their feelings for each other Sam still doesn’t want to have sex. He hadn’t for over a decade, and the last person he had sex with stole his life away from him. Of course he didn’t feel comfortable.

And I think this all helps to portray the most important part of Sam’s backstory.

He wasn’t supposed to be a vampire.

He never planned on being turned. He didn’t want Alexis to turn him. He never wanted to be that.

The same could be said for Vincent, he didn’t wanted to be turned either. He wasn’t given a choice. However, Vincent still took on that flirty vampire persona.

I think this illustrates the difference in how Vincent and Sam grew into their turning over time. Vincent, while extremely depressed in the beginning of his turning, grew into it. He eventually learned to accept himself as a vampire, and even embrace it. I think him taking on that traditional, flirty vampire act, was his way of embracing what he now was.

Lovely’s part in Vincent’s character growth, rather than teaching him to accept himself as a vampire, was helping him to learn that he didn’t have to be someone new just because his mortal self is dead.

Sam, while he accepted the fact that he was a vampire passively, he never really embraced it as part of himself. I think this is really well illustrated by how he handled feeding before he fed from Darlin. “I’ve never been one to savor the taste. I just chug it like a supplement and pour a cup of something I actually like the taste of”. (That was paraphrased pls don’t hurt me if I got something wrong). He accepts that he needs blood to survive but he is going to incorporate it into his life passively, and focus on the things he actually likes. He accepts that he is a vampire, but he won’t take it as a part of himself.

I think this is even shown well in Sam choice to “chose morality” (as it was put in the trigger warnings of that one video, still hung up on that btw) rather than live forever. He accepts that he is immortal, but he isn’t going to embrace it.

To Sam vampirism isn’t a part of himself, it’s just something that was done to him. Like a giant scar that covers his body, his face, his eyes, even his core. It still isn’t him.

The way that Darlin plays into Sam’s character growth, I think has potential to change this and I think it’s something interesting to explore.

So far Darlin already has played a pretty big part in Sam’s character growth. Before meeting them he was closed off. Isolating himself from pretty much everyone but a few people in his clan. Darlin has brought him out of that. He now has people, he has the pack. While he does love Vincent and Lovely (and possibly Fred and Bright but we will never know what happened with them), it’s important to have people outside of the ones that you are forced to interact with by circumstance. Especially if said circumstances are horribly traumatic for you.

Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb, and all that.

However, I think Darlin inadvertently helping Sam to embrace the vampiric aspects of himself is interesting concept. Especially now that Sam has fed from Darlin, and enjoyed it, and saw how much his mate enjoyed. I think Sam slowly accepting vampirism is absolutely a possibility in the future.

If it ever happens or not I will still adore Sam’s character all the same.

Anyways this was a really long winded way of explaining that I like how Sam subverts the typical tropes with vampires, and I appreciate how it ties into his turning being non-consensual. I like to rant if people haven’t picked up on that already lmao.

Also I miss my girlfriend. Erik bring Sam back home immediately.

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted sam #redacted sam collins #sam collins #redacted darlin

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raguiras · 4 months ago

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What's this?! Spade of Storms is canon in the game now?! /j

Finally finished this Spade of Storms WIP from early June 😅 Click for better quality!

Reblogs are very appreciated ~

「 Bonus versions & ship ramble below the cut! ��

♤ More Deuce x Allen: ♤

SHIP INTRO: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4

OTHER ART: 1

Ship blog: @spade-of-storms

♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤

♤ Ship ramble ♤

There are many reasons why Allen and Deuce are perfect for each other (list), but a fair share of said reasons are rooted in or can be traced back to one massive, highly important core point: these two have extremely similar experiences in a reversed order.

Said experiences shaped their personalities, goals, insecurities and "masks" — all of which are highly important factors for Deuce and Allen's relationship development.

So today, I'll be talking about how their backstories influence Allen and Deuce's relationship.

Something I noticed is that if Spade of Storms weren't dating, they'd pretty much end up experiencing at least parts of each other's backstory... and end up in a super miserable state.

Allen is a former honor student who overworked himself to the point of burning out, all because he was a people pleaser and his stellar grades still weren't enough for his teachers who expected nothing but the absolute best from him. Additionally, he had to suppress his true self and interests because he was expected to be a model student in every single way, and anger was something only "bad" kids felt.

Sounds familiar? Deuce is unknowingly on the path to end up in the same situation, except in his case, the fact that he can't seem to achieve better grades no matter what causes him even more distress. If he actually ended up becoming a honor student, Deuce would experience a ton of additional pressure, not to mention that he's already struggling to hide the delinquent tendencies that are a fundamental part of his true personality... Sure, "honor student" sounds like a nice and admirable title to have — but the reality behind it is cruel, and Deuce isn't aware of that yet.

Which is why I gave him Allen.

A large part of Allen's trauma is rooted in his past as a honor student and the crushing expectations people (including himself) threw at him, and he desperately wants Deuce to watch out for himself and approach his goal of becoming a honor student carefully and logically rather than bite off more than he can chew and end up drowning in even more pressure, self-suppression and insecurities. Allen doesn't want Deuce to experience all the negative sides of being a honor student and instead supports the Heartslabyul student's goals by working towards them with a pace appropriate for Deuce, helping him study through actually unique methods specifically tailored for Deuce, and — most importantly — giving Deuce a safe and healthy environment where he can be his 100% authentic self and learn how to properly get his impulsiveness under control at the same time.

And the other way around? How does Deuce's past help Allen?

Deuce quit being a delinquent because it not only disappointed his mom, but also caused him a lot of trouble and massively stained his reputation. While Allen can handle his own delinquent tendencies just fine on the outside, his anger is actually much worse than Deuce's, not to mention that he has incredibly violent fantasies about the people he can't stand...

So far, Allen hasn't done anything bad. But Deuce, despite being a delinquent at heart himself, is able to calmly remind Allen to not do anything he might end up regretting or that might stain his reputation, especially since this is a major fear of Allen's. Deuce's worries and loving way manage to keep Allen in check, no matter how strong the Ramshackle student's hatred for society grows.

♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎♤♠︎

Now, HOW exactly are they able to help each other grow? WHY did they form intimate levels of trust to begin with? And especially, why can Allen actually efficiently help Deuce in the first place when nobody else can?

All will be revealed in the next issue Spade of Storms explanation post >:)

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starry-bi-sky · 1 year ago

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miscellaneous danyal al ghul things

specifically about the danyal al ghul from my post/prompt here and i wanna get my misc. headcanons/thoughts on him (especially in his early stay with the fentons) out here before i make any other danyal al ghul aus

list under the cut because whoops this got longer than i expected. which really i should have expected

the Fentons are unaffiliated with the League, which was perfect for Danny faking his death.

he struggles with empathy. Empathy was not taught nor encouraged while he was with the League, so it's a skill that's been pretty stunted. At 15 he's better at empathizing with people, but he still struggles with it. He's pretty bad at reassuring/comforting people and usually acts as an emotional rubber duck for Sam and Tucker to vent to if need be. He sometimes offers blunt and sometimes mean opinions, especially if its about another person.

Sam and Tucker do not know he's an ex-assassin, they are however, pretty positive that he used to be part of an eco-fascist cult with a focus on martial arts?? They've been helping him tone down some of his more,,, extreme views on humanity ever since they caught wind of his more extreme ideologies.

He and Sam are still avid environmentalists and feed into each other quite a bit. They spend plenty of time at protests and pestering the school into more eco-friendly options.

Dash is not dead on the sole fact that Danny knew he had to lay low in Amity Park and killing someone was not, in fact, 'laying low'.

he did, however, traumatize him when Dash first tried to bully him. Safe to say, Danny is not bullied at school and neither are Sam and Tucker.

Danny didn't make any friends in his first year at Amity Park. He was surly, grumpy, standoffish, more stubborn than Sam, and pretty self-important about himself. Jazz was trying to teach him against these things, but she is a 12 year old unaffiliated with the League. Danny did not respect her nor listen to a word she said. It wasn't until like, year two that he finally started paying to mind what she was saying and slowly started to improve on himself

Sam approached him first, he rebuffed her quite harshly, and then Danny approached her sometime afterward when he overheard her talking about environmental rights. Sam completely ignored him though when he agreed with her, and Danny had to later learn that he needed to apologize for being rude to her when they first met. He did so eventually, and they started to talk more with Tucker and Sam.

Danny's a bit more reserved than he is in canon, although he steadily learns how to act as a regular teenager when he's out in public. He's a bit more friendlier at least, although when he's around Sam and Tucker he drops the act. He still has a somewhat formal way of talking, it's just become more casual after a lot of ribbing from Sam and Tucker. When he's angry or annoyed he starts talking poshly though.

His humor is relatively the same as in canon, if somehow dryer and more insulting at some points

Those rare moments where he gets really pissed usually ends up with him insulting someone in arabic or any of the other languages he picked up from the league. He is the go-to for Tucker's Spanish homework. (Tucker makes that mistake and learns that Danny is a very strict teacher)

while Danny doesn't view the Fentons as his parents, even five years after living with them, he does respect them to some amount. He respects them enough at least that when Vlad Masters comes sniffing around, he is suitably offended on both Maddie and Jack's behalf. And when he finds out Vlad was the one who tried to kill Jack and tried to tell him to renounce him as his father/parental guardian, danny threw a suitably sharp object at him and insulted him quite horrendously

Vlad still wants him as his kid. In fact perhaps even moreso after this.

Danny trains with Maddie to keep up with his training. It's not quite the same but it prevents him from getting completely rusty

Sam and Tucker know that Danny has a little brother, but nothing else beyond that other than Danny cares about him quite a lot and that he got his facial scar from keeping him safe.

Danny cares about Sam, Tucker, and Jazz quite a bit, but he struggles to convey it. Especially early on when he realized he cared about them and like instinct started being harsher to them and more critical of their actions. This resulted in quite a few arguments with Sam and Tucker and Jazz until he got sat down and told outright that the way he was treating them wasn't okay. It's a process he's still trying to unlearn even at 15. He has become kinder towards them as a result, and has begun looking for what they did right rather than what they did wrong.

He harbors a lot of guilt over how he treated Damian in the League, and its a pretty big conflict he has with himself since he's torn between telling himself it was for the best to make sure Damian survived the League, and feeling like crap over how harsh/critical of Damian he was and realizing that he probably could have come up with a better way of training him despite being a child himself at the time. Danny comes to the realization that more than anything, that he just wants to apologize.

His ghost form, specifically is outfit, is a combination of his hazmat suit and his uniform from the league, and he carries a sword with him. He also doesn't know how to react to Dani, honestly. Although it is fair to say that he figures out she's a clone instantly because of her whole 'I'm your third cousin once removed' thing and he freaks out. She spills the beans pretty quickly after that. And Danny is pretty skittish around her - or the equivalent of skittish. Her being younger than him kinda reminds him of Damian, so he's uncomfortable by her presence but learns to warm up to her.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dpxdc crossover #dpdc #dpxdc headcanons #dp x dc headcanons #danyal al ghul: exists #me: lets give him emotional constipation :) as a treat #older brother danny #sam+tucker: dude... were you part of a cult???? danny: excuse me? sam+tucker: were you. part of a cult #danny: it was not a *cult--* sam+tucker: oh my god you were part of a cult. that explains sO MUCH #danny is pr morally grey even at 15. he's starting to get the hang of this 'human life' thing though! he thinks.#but he is still the embodiment of that tiktok audio 'why dont we just kill these fucking people' even if he keeps it to himself sometimes #sam+tucker+jazz: dont litter danny: yes of course thats obvious s+t+j: okay then dont *kill* danny: now you've lost me #danny nearly stabbed dash when they first met. more accurately he nearly took off his finger like the train scene from the mummy movie 2 #with alex and that big guard guy who stabbed the table in between his fingers. “woah.” “Tt. i missed”#late night starry posts #not proof read and thus there will prolly be mistakes

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leilakisakabiri · 2 years ago

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Liar, Liar (Gavi)

Summary: Gavi thinks you’re cheating on him.

Warning(s): None

A/N: Thank you guys for all the love on The Promises We Keep. My inbox is open!

Word Count: 3.3k+

Masterlist

Gavi still remembered how alone he felt that day. It was the day of the semifinal for La Liga, one of the biggest games of his career, and one of the most important days of his life, and instead of being excited and focusing all his attention on the upcoming game, all he could think about was you.

Were you getting undressed for someone else right now? Did you even love him anymore?

He felt his heart tug painfully, and his mind wandered as he got lost in the what-ifs and maybes surrounding your relationship. Or lack thereof now he guessed.

Never in his life did he think he would ever be in this position. Growing up he had never loved anything as much as he loved football, and when he finally made Barca’s A team he swore he never would. However, that slowly started to change when you came into his life.

You were the cute girl next door, spending a year abroad in Barcelona and attending the same school as his hometown friends. The first time he had met you was when you were walking towards your apartment, hands filled with a random assortment of papers, textbooks, and chargers. The stack of textbooks partially obstructed your view and you missed a step causing you to go flying into the midfielder.

You let out a yelp as you hit the boy, papers falling to the ground.

“Oh shit. I’m so sorry! I didn’t see the step.” You frantically apologized, bending down to gather your things.

The boy stood still.

You looked up at him from the ground, “Oh my god you’re not hurt are you?” You asked, stressed about the fact that you could have injured the poor guy.

“I’m fine.” He said, finally bending down and helping you collect your things.

You both stood up and stared at each other for a second, unsure what to say before you broke the silence.

“I’m Y/n.” You said, hand outstretched to greet him.

“Pablo.” he introduced himself, reaching out to shake your hand, laughing at your formality.

You felt your cheeks turn red, “Sorry was that too formal? I’m still trying to learn the customs and stuff. Guess Google didn’t do a good job.”

The boy smiled at you, “No problem. I’m guessing you’re not from here then?”

You shook your head, taking a minute to adjust the various things in your arms, “No I’m an exchange student actually, from the States.”

Gavi nodded, “That explains the accent.”

Your cheeks turned even redder, “Haha yah. Still working on that.” You meekly responded, breaking eye contact.

Damn it. Barely one week in a new city and you were already known as an outsider.

It was silent after that and you took it as a sign to move on with your day, “Well thanks. And sorry again.” You said, beginning to walk past him.

“Let me help you.” Gavi said, turning to face you.

“Oh no worries, my apartment’s right here.” You gestured pointing to the door next to the one he had come out of.

“You’re Mateo’s neighbor?”

You looked at him surprised, “You know Mateo? Yeah, I live next door.”

He nodded, “We’re childhood friends.”

“So do you go here as well?” You asked.

The boy shook his head, “Nah, just visiting.”

“Ok well see you around I guess.” You said, waving bye.

He gave you a wave back.

“Oh, also most people carry bags around for their stuff here!” Gavi shouted at your retreating figure.

You spun around, seeing him facing you with a grin, both of you walking backward, “I got robbed!” You exclaimed.

Gavi felt himself let out a soft smile at the memory before his brain caught up to his heart and then he was drowning in heartache all over again thinking about what he had just lost.

“Joder!” Gavi yelled, his hand slamming against the locker as he saw the call go to voicemail again.

“You ok hermano?” Pedri asked, entering the empty locker room, finding the younger boy sitting on the bench, looking extremely upset, hands shaking, and breathing labored.

“I think- I think Y/N’s cheating on me.”

The words came out barely above a whisper, and Gavi ducked his head the second he said them, the situation hitting a hundred times harder now that he had admitted it to himself.

Pedri looked at him in shock.

When he had come into the locker room, looking for a very late Gavi, he hadn’t expected to find the midfielder not only unchanged but also in such a vulnerable state.

“Why would you say that?” Pedri spoke carefully, treading lightly, not wanting to make Gavi more upset.

Gavi pulled something up on his phone, handing it over. It was an Instagram story.

A video shared by your friend meant to share the club she was at, but also unknowingly sharing you in a very compromising position.

Pedri watched as the video panned to you in a black lace dress, drink in hand, as a guy twice your size leaned into you, hands possessively laid on your waist, pulling you into him far too close to be considered friendly.

You were only in the video for a second but there was no denying it was you. You were wearing the same dress you had worn for Gavi’s birthday dinner just a few months prior.

He bit his lip not knowing what to say. He thought it could have been a misunderstanding, but seeing the video he was beginning to doubt it.

He didn’t say anything handing the phone back to Gavi.

The boy looked up at him, eyes glistening, “You saw it too right?”

Pedri sighed, “Yah. I’m sorry Pablo.”

Gavi slowly nodded, turning away from Pedri as he fought to keep his emotions at bay.

“Fucking great. Now she won’t even answer me.” He muttered throwing his phone carelessly to the side.

“And what’s the matter with you two?” Xavi walked into the locker room, seemingly not pleased with how long it was taking the two to come out.

“Game starts in twenty and you’re both dilly-dallying like some preschoolers. Get moving. Gavi get changed.” He ordered.

“Coa-” Gavi began to speak, but Xavi cut him off.

“I don’t care. Deal with it later, game first. Out in five.” He pointed to both boys before walking out.

Pedri gave Gavi one last pat on the back, “Don’t think about it now. Focus on the game.”

“It’s the only thing I can think about.” Gavi admitted.

“How could she do this? Does she not care about me, about us?” Gavi’s voice wavered, and he took a sharp inhale trying to calm himself down.

Just talking about it was emotional. He couldn’t even imagine how having a conversation with you after would feel.

Would you pretend nothing had happened? Was this your way of letting him know you guys were over? Would he ever even get to talk to you again?

There were too many unanswered questions and Gavi felt himself getting overwhelmed as he considered the possibilities.

He grabbed his jersey, forcing himself into autopilot as he put it on. He felt like he was floating, watching over himself as he did all the things he was supposed to. He watched as he joined his teammates, listened to Xavi’s instructions, and took his place in the starting lineup.

Walking onto the field, even the thousands of cheering fans did nothing to interrupt his thoughts, all of them consumed with you.

He sang the anthem, and then before he knew it he was standing in the middle of the pitch, kicking the ball into play.

The first fifteen minutes of the game went as normal, he did everything he was supposed to, running to assist the attack whenever possible, and staying back whenever the opposition got too close to the goalpost. To everyone, he was playing exactly how he normally would, and while he was grateful that he didn’t seem to be costing his team too much, he would be lying if he said he was dedicated to the game, and he hated himself for that. Mentally he was still in the locker room, replaying the moment he had seen the post over and over again in his head, memorizing the way you had looked, in his favorite dress, pressed up against someone that wasn’t him. The pain was all-encompassing, something he had never felt before, and all he wanted to do was plead with you not to leave him, to love him like you had promised.

The referee blew his whistle, indicating a foul had been made. Gavi looked up at the noise being pulled from his thoughts, he squinted seeing something behind the shouting ref.

His breath hitched. Suddenly he was crashing back into himself. It felt like being soaked with ice-cold water while simultaneously being pricked by the same needle repeatedly.

He thought he was going to vomit.

Because there you were, like you always were, standing in the family section, in his jersey, a smile on your face as you waved down at him.

Based on the fact that you were even here he assumed you didn’t know he knew.

That for some reason got him angrier than he had ever been.

He clenched his jaw, shaking his head as he turned his back to you.

So you were just going to pretend. Go and hook up with random guys and then come back to him acting like an angel.

Your smile slowly fell, confused by his reaction. You were sure he had seen you, but his expression had been anything but happy. He looked pissed.

Anna, who was sitting beside you also noticed, “Why does he seem mad?”

You shrugged your shoulders, a frown on your face as you sat back in your seat, “I have no idea.”

Your brain raced through everything that had happened in the last few days, trying to pinpoint what you did for Gavi to be mad at you. You couldn’t come up with anything. You had just got back from France, spending the weekend away for your friend’s birthday, surely, he couldn’t be mad about that. You had already talked about it and he had practically shoved you out of his car when you had asked,

“Y/n I’m serious why would you even ask me that? Of course, you can go, I’m not going to control your life.” He exclaimed, shocked by your question.

You had asked him if he was okay with you going to spend the weekend with your friend in France, and he had been less than pleased with your question.

You laughed at his offended expression, pressing a kiss to his cheek, “I know, and I love you for that. I just wanted to double check though.”

He smiled softly, “Yeah, yeah. Now get out of my car I’m going to be late!”

You smiled at the memory, sure that he wasn’t mad at you for that. So then why did he not wave back?

You had missed his calls earlier this morning on purpose wanting to surprise him by coming to his game, but you never received a text from him saying anything was wrong.

The game continued, and you cheered along with the crowd.

Gavi was playing especially aggressively today, tackling players left and right, and shoving into them the moment they got the ball.

You bit your lip anxiously, you knew if he kept playing like this it was only a matter of time before he got a red card.

Your suspicions were confirmed not even ten minutes later when Gavi had slide tackled another player, sending them flying to the ground.

Immediately the whistle blew, bodies surrounding the two players as an argument broke out. You shot out of your seat, leaning over the railing to see Gavi standing in the middle. The player he had tackled had finally stood up saying something to him. In an instant, Gavi was shoving into the much larger player, screaming at him with such fury you would have thought he had just killed his family.

It only took a minute for the ref to make a decision and then he was holding up a red card for Gavi. The player in question let out a loud yell, eyebrows furrowed and jaw set.

You watched as he shook his head in anger, walking off the pitch, eyes blazing.

You tried to make eye contact with him, but he purposely avoided looking at the stands as he disappeared into the tunnels.

The other player got a yellow card but otherwise, everything continued as normal.

You sat in your seat for another five minutes contemplating what to do when Anna decided for you, “Aren’t you going to down and see him?” She questioned.

You nodded your head slowly, trying to fight off the feeling that something was wrong, “Yeah, I just wanted to give him some time to cool down, but I’m going now.”

You stood up, an uneasy feeling in your heart as you walked towards the locker rooms.

The guard let you in without question, used to seeing you after games.

You took small steps toward the locker room, why were you so nervous?

You heard a loud bang inside and instinctively rushed in, scared Gavi had hurt himself.

You found him sitting on the floor against the bench, hands wrapped around his legs, head buried in his chest as he rocked back and forth.

Your heart broke at the sight. He looked so vulnerable.

“Pablo.” You spoke.

Gavi’s head shot up and he looked at you with so much disdain that your guard shot 100 feet up, but you stood rooted in place.

“You cost me the game.” He spoke, voice thick with emotion.

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s your fault. You did this. You made me like this.”

“What? Pablo I don’t under-”

The boy cut you off, standing up, the hurt in his eyes had you reeling, “Of fuck off Y/n, you know what you did. Stop acting so innocent.”

You were stumbling over your words not used to seeing his gaze so venomous, “I do-don’t know what you’re ta-talking about.”

He laughed dryly at your words, taking a step closer to you, “Oh really so when you fucked that guy last night you weren’t thinking “Oh maybe this might hurt Pablo”, you were just thinking, “Eh what he won’t know won’t hurt him”. Well guess what? I know.”

Your throat went dry, your eyes widening at his words. He took your actions as confirmation.

“See you do know what I’m talking about it. We’re done Y/n I can’t believe I let myself love you.”

You stood in silence.

“Do you even love me?” His voice cracked as he looked at you.

He shook his head moving to walk past you, but you jumped into action, desperate not to let him leave. Your brain was still processing everything he said but you knew if you let him walk away now that would be the end, and you couldn’t let him leave thinking you didn’t love him.

You grabbed his wrist and he immediately spun around, glaring at you, “Don’t fucking touch me.” He seethed.

You relented, refusing to let go, “Pablo, please. Just listen to me. Don’t walk away!’ You pleaded.

“I don’t have to, you already did when you decided to fuck that random guy.” He yelled.

“I didn’t. I didn’t fuck him. I swear, baby just listen to me.”

“I’m not your baby.” He answered voice cold.

You felt his words hit you like a ton of bricks, and you physically took a step back from him, dropping his hand.

He didn’t move.

“I never cheated on you. I love you, you know I would never do that, you’re too important to me.”

His anger only bubbled, “Apparently, I don’t know anything. How are you going to deny it when there’s evidence?”

“Evidence what evidence?” You asked exasperated.

“Why don’t you ask your friend Angela? At least she did me a favor by posting you pressed up against someone else.”

The realization finally hit you. He must have seen you with the guy last night, that’s why he was so upset, and you not answering his calls this morning must have just fueled his suspicions.

You suddenly felt so tired, everything was falling apart, and you didn’t have it in yourself to scream at Gavi anymore.

You sighed, walking past Gavi dropping to the floor, leaning against the locker room door.

“What are you doing?” He questioned.

“Gavi, I know you’re mad but I’m not letting you leave until you let me at least explain myself, and if you still want to hate me after then that fine. But first, just listen please.” Your voice came out gentle, all the anger dissipated.

He shook his head in anger, “You can’t fucking trap me in here. Move out of the way Y/n. Now.”

You shook your head in resistance, “No. I know how you are; I know you feel so angry right now you can’t think straight. But I promise you if you just give me a minute, I’ll explain everything. I don’t want a miscommunication to be the reason you hate me.”

He was silently fuming, but he made no move to leave.

You continued, “I’m taking it you saw the video?”

Gavi didn’t say anything but by the way his hands balled into fists you knew you were right.

You nodded, “Ok, well it was me.”

You heard Gavi let out a scoff.

“That guy was pressed into me, but what the video didn’t show was me pushing him off me not even five seconds later, drunkenly yelling at him that I had a boyfriend that I loved very much, and who was much prettier than he was. I know it probably looks bad in the video, but he was just so much bigger than me that it took me a minute to fight him off.”

“Also, when he first came up to me, I genuinely thought he was asking me directions for the bathroom, not asking me to go with him.” You clarified.

It was silent.

“Why were your arms around him?”

“I was shoving him away. Obviously, I can’t do that with just my mind – no matter how much I want to.” You tried to lighten the mood, but Gavi only sighed.

Your shoulders deflated; he didn’t believe you.

You moved to the side of the door, “You can leave.” Your voice was barely above a whisper.

Gavi spared you one last glance before he walked out the door, leaving you alone in the locker room.

Your eyes watched him leave and the second the door shut behind him you covered your mouth with your hands, shoulders shaking as you let out the sobs you had been holding in.

Is this what being heartbroken felt like? Sure, you had relationships that end in the past on less-than-stellar terms, but never had you felt like this. Like you couldn’t breathe, like every small breath was squeezing your body, leaving you with no oxygen and an unbearable feeling in the pit of your stomach.

You sniffled, trying to pull yourself back together. You had to leave before the game ended and the team came back.

You were in the middle of wiping your tears when the door swung open again.

“Fuck this, I’m not leaving. I took five steps before I realized how stupid I’m being. I believe you. I trust you – but it’s just so hard because my mind is screaming at me to leave but all my heart is thinking about is how I’m letting go of the most real thing I’ve ever felt, and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I left you like that all alone.” Gavi spoke, voice firm as he came to sit next to you.

You looked over at him with wide eyes, “You came back?”

He nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing, as he scooched closer to you, “I always will.”

#pablo gavi #pablogavi #Gavi #gavi imagine #gavi imagines #gavi x reader #gavi fluff #gavi angst #pablo gavi imagine #gavi headcannon #gavi blurb #football #footballer #football imagine #football player #FC Barca #pedri #Pedro Gonzalez

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anystalker707 · 8 months ago

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Midnight sneak-outs

Pairing: Paul Atreides x [gender-neutral] Reader Summary: You've just moved to Arrakis. Some distraction is nice, even if it involves your hidden relationship being discovered. Tags: he's very sweet / lots of kissing / hand job / this is not about 15yo Paul A/N: i've been writing less, sorry. i've been working out+working+studying, spending from 7am to 10pm out of the house, it's harsh

MASTER LIST

The air of Arrakis was thick and dry, enough to make your nose burn and threaten to start bleeding if you were outdoors without protection during certain hours of the day. It was very different from Caladan, uncomfortably so. You missed the cold breezes, the hikes along the woods, sleeping while it rained outside. The fact there was no way to escape this made you feel a little claustrophobic, but you tried your best not to be unpleasant, since the Atreides weren’t even obligated to bring you in the first place, but they couldn’t deny Paul’s requests, after all. You had to see the good side of it—even if it was hard and practically impossible. Arrakis seemed to trap you among its sands, even more so with how the Emperor had articulated that; it was just a one-way trip.

On the other hand, Paul seemed quite excited about it. He showed you some tools gifted to him by Duncan, the books he had found around. It was an excitement you couldn’t mirror, though you didn’t want to bring him down with it, since he’d always been so obsessed over Arrakis, extremely fascinated with it.

Paul looked over his shoulder as he walked over to the trees outside, ensuring you followed. “They say each tree consumes the same amount of water as five men. There are twenty!” He widened his eyes briefly as he placed a hand on the tree’s trunk, turning around to face you, with his free hand behind his back.

You furrowed your eyebrows, silently observing the lines of trees through squinted eyes under the harsh sunlight. They seemed sacred, holy. Their apparent aging and disposition—plus how they seemed cared for—demonstrated they held great importance. You looked into the horizon, trying not to dwell too much on the fact there were no mountains surrounding you; no hills, no woods.

“They’re huge,” you said with a hum, squinting your eyes more while looking at the top of the one you two were next to. “Are we supposed to be out here at this time of the day?” The heat felt suffocating, and unlike the cold from Caladan, you could barely escape it.

Paul shrugged, also squinting his eyes, though he was under the tree’s shadow, so you moved and joined him. It didn’t make much of a difference, and inside was probably a lot better, but being with Paul there for a little longer wouldn’t hurt. It was worth it. His eyes followed you, and his hand caught yours, lacing your fingers together to pull you closer. Paul took your other hand as well while leaning back against the tree.

“Are you feeling okay? We can head back inside,” Paul said cautiously, squeezing your hands as his eyes roamed over your features, green irises scanning your face, a search for something you couldn’t identify. Maybe you didn’t want to.

“Weather,” you said with a hum, taking a deep breath, but it failed to calm you down or do anything that mattered. The air was hot, almost burning your airways as they filled your lungs.

Paul seemed convinced, but he still looked at you as if trying to see past the armor you’d built, though he didn’t pry a lot, respecting the distance you imposed. Shaking his head, he pulled you closer instead, close enough to let his forehead rest on your shoulder and press a couple of kisses to it through the fabric. The worry that Paul usually only carried silently was not a little more evident as he stood there with you, trying to figure out how to help without suffocating you even more.

“Let’s head back inside,” Paul said, pulling you away from your thoughts. “We can go for a walk during the night. I want to explore around for a little, so it’ll be great, right? I want your company.” He lifted his head and looked at you in the eyes. A smile tugged on his lips after you nodded, eventually disappearing when he pressed his lips to yours in a soft peck.

The brief contact had your heart skip a beat and gave you comfort, even if just a little bit, even if just for a fleeting moment, and calmed the turmoil inside Paul’s chest.

Arrakis was colder at night, and the great temperature variance was already predictable, given the planet’s characteristics. Still, it wasn’t bad. It was comfortable and refreshing, and the fact you didn’t have to wear formal clothes during the night made it more enjoyable, giving you a welcome false sensation of freedom. In contrast, Paul’s hand was warm against your own as you two walked down the halls of Arrakeen in deadly silence.

Hesitant steps eventually gained confidence once you two walked a good distance from Paul’s room, loosening your grip on each other’s hands comfortably. A guard or another walked by, but none of them seemed to notice you and Paul merged with the shadows, walking down the wide halls of the place, or maybe they didn’t want to.

It was quiet, unlike during the day, and it made Arrakis feel better, for some reason. Paul seemed as excited as he was during the day, pointing out details of the architecture or leaning against windowsills to take a look outside, peeking at the night sky and muttering about it. It was sweet, really. You spent more time looking at his face than at what Paul pointed out, making a light red tone coat his cheeks whenever his gaze caught yours.

Paul sighed as he ran his fingers along the drawings sculpted into the wall, walking each time slower until he stopped walking. “It’s pretty, don’t you think?” He looked at you again, a small smile lingering on his lips as he noticed how you paid attention to the wall as well.

“Yeah. Really catches your attention,” you muttered, meeting his eyes in the relative darkness and squeezing his hand.

Paul didn’t return his attention to the wall, instead holding your gaze. His hand tightened around yours in return, and it was practically a sign for you—a small sound escaped his lips as you stepped closer, compelling him to back up until his back met the wall. The corner where walls met was a discreet and darker spot in the hall where practically no one spared a look, so it would be even harder to be spotted there at such hours when the moons were high in the sky.

Paul’s breath fanned warmly against your skin as you leaned in, and you two just stood there in silence for a long moment, something between reaching a silent agreement with each other and checking if there was anyone nearby. From there, you didn’t need a lot of thought—your lips met Paul’s in a soft kiss, primarily tentative and gentle. His lips were warm and soft, just like you were used to, but something about kissing him in a hidden spot in the halls of Arrakeen felt different, compelling a new type of excitement to stir in the bottom of your stomach. Making out in a dark corner during such late hours of the night made everything better, the thrill and adrenaline that ran through your veins at the feeling of getting caught.

Your tongue ran along Paul’s bottom lip, snatching a soft sound from his lips, while his hand tightened around yours momentarily, hesitantly letting go so that his hand could hold on to your shoulder instead, to pull you closer to him. As Paul’s arms wrapped around your neck, he eventually melted into you, noticing your acceptance, his body tingling at the feeling of your arms firmly wrapped around his waist.

A soft sigh came from Paul the moment your tongue slipped past his lips to run along the back of his teeth and glide against his own, compelling his grip to grow tighter around you, with a new kind of urgency emerging at the deepening of the kiss, one you returned by pulling him closer and holding him tighter. It could ruin your reputation, but it didn’t even matter now, not when you were lost in the way Paul kissed you, fingers gently caressing the back of your neck while his lips moved against yours in a perfect flow.

“Damn,” you whispered between kisses. Your attempt to catch your breath was disrupted by the continuous pecks that Paul kept pressing to your lips, arms tightening around your neck, so you ended up giving in and kissing once more, just enough to satisfy his need before your lips pressed to his jaw. Paul exhaled with a soft sound, arching his back to press more into you, groaning softly as he tilted his head to the side to give you more access to his neck and melted into your touch.

A sound echoed through the dark halls—a step? Door being closed? Weapon being adjusted? A shiver ran down your spine at the same time your blood drained to your feet, and Paul seemed to have the same reaction, both of you holding your breaths while standing as still as possible. It could be unimportant, just as much as it could be significant.

Your eyes met in the darkness, your breaths held in the deafening silence until your lungs burned, and you decided that if there were someone, they would’ve walked away. Or maybe that was just your brain convincing you to kiss Paul more, but did it really matter right now? The worries were slowly buried in the back of your head once your lips met his skin again, making his breath quiver. His arms slowly relaxed around your neck, and he was melting into your touches once again, whispering your name in a sweet and needy voice that made your heart flutter.

As much as you wanted to nibble and suck on Paul’s neck, it was a risk you didn’t want to take, even if most of his attires included turtle-neck shirts and vests. The young heir couldn’t be marked, couldn’t be touched, nothing that would ruin the Atreides’ reputation, and even so, he still indulged himself in a ‘hidden’ relationship with you, risking it all whenever proposing any sort of adventure that led you to situations like right now.

“I’m…” Paul’s breath hitched as his hands tugged on your shirt. A soft hum came from him as he shifted, managing to slip a leg between your own, allowing himself to grind against your thigh with a muffled moan. “Please,” he whispered, voice muffled by your shoulder as he pressed closer.

“No, we are—”

“Please…” Paul groaned. He buried his face in your neck, kissing a trail up to your lips, giving you a peck whenever you tried to argue against him. Who were you to resist that needy tone anyway? The way he made your heart flutter whenever giving you soft kisses, trying his best to convince you. A sigh escaped your lips before you leaned in again, taking Paul’s lips in another kiss, his bottom lip quickly caught between your teeth.

The thin fabric of Paul’s night pants was strained, tented up with the erection that ground against your thigh stubbornly until you gave his hips a harsher squeeze so that he would stay still—he did, with a whine. Among messy kisses, Paul moaned softly, trying to keep as quiet as possible while your hand slipped into his underwear and wrapped around his cock, warm and firm.

Part of you cursed Paul for having made you do that there, go all the way across the palace just to make out, but there was a different feeling to it, you couldn’t deny. Even if the chances were low, someone could still catch the two of you, and raise a scandal. Just the fact you could get caught by someone who didn’t know about your relationship, in general, made your heart race, something stirring in your lower stomach as your teeth sank harder into Paul’s lip. He whimpered, but the pain was nothing compared to the feeling that sparkled up his spine when your hand started moving around his cock.

Of course, it wasn’t the best thing in the world. It was a little stiff, but eventually better once your thumb ran across his tip, using the droplets of pre-cum to ease the friction, even if it didn’t do much.

“You’re dirty, Paul,” you whispered into his ear, squeezing his cock as you pumped him, trying to contain every involuntary thrust of his by pinning him against the wall with your free hand by the hip. His hands clung to your shoulders, most likely leaving scratches behind, despite the shirt in the way. “Does it feel good? Hm? Tell me?”

A soft whimper came from Paul in response, just at the same time his hips thrust into your hand. “Yes,” Paul groaned, voice strained as he pressed his forehead to your shoulder. His attempts to keep quiet result in choked gasps and shaky breaths, but it doesn’t stop the occasional moans from escaping his lips, quiet and needy, sending sparkles down your spine. “Feels so good,” he mumbled in a shaky voice; his cock twitched in your hand, leaking more.

You knew where to touch already, the pace that made Paul quiver and had his knees go weak, so all you did was to measure well how to use that, with slow movements and grazing your thumb against a spot under the tip of his cock until he could barely hold himself together while clinging to you.

Paul mumbled something that sounded like your name, incoherent, muffled against your shoulder, which was already damp from how he pressed his mouth to it to muffle his sounds—or at least try to. It was already growing sloppy with the amount of pre-cum that dripped onto your hand, and Paul was practically doing the whole job by himself already, fucking your hand while chasing his own release. You couldn’t deny the way it made you feel, the way you swallowed dryly whilst feeling him against you, but you were already going too far by now anyway. Maybe you could do more when you headed back to his room.

“Nngh, I can’t—” Paul gasped before his cock twitched more, and there it was—he came with a soft cry, quickly limiting himself to a hiss as his nails sank into your skin through your shirt. “Fuck,” he groaned, trying to keep quiet and hold his breath while riding through his orgasm, and he finally did so, with a soft whimper. His chest heaved up and down to catch his breath, fingers slowly loosening around your shirt, and he finally lifted his head to meet your gaze, blinking a couple of times. “You’re way too good,” he mumbled with a soft groan, pressing a soft peck to your lips.

“Oh?” You chuckled, pulling your hand away, and Paul quickly took care of adjusting his clothes again. “I’m not the one who suggested this, in the first place.” You glared lightly at him, and Paul shook his head in exaggerated frustration that immediately changed into a different expression when you started licking his cum away from your hand, humming faintly. “What?”

“Y’know—”

“Chambers. Now.”

#dune #dune x reader #paul atreides #x reader #x male reader #x female reader #paul atreides x reader #timothée chalamet #fan fic #fan fiction

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her-satanic-wiles · 1 year ago

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October 15th

Noncon, Possessed!Swiss x Reader

Masterlist ⛧ Hellish Delights Masterlist

Words: 6.8k

Warnings: Noncon; extreme horror; dead dove: do not eat; explicit use of the word “rape” throughout; public masturbation; exhibitionism; possession; violence; demonic asphyxiation; victim blaming; face-slapping; sexual violence; rape; rape-kink; characters acknowledge that it’s rape; piv; vaginal sex; unprotected sex; pain; degradation; public sex; mind break; underprepared; dacrophilia; unconcious sex; multiple scenes; dubcon; fear play; breeding kink; cum eating; accidental filming via security camera; creampie;

The Ghouls aren't demons in my fic. They're humans who work in the Ministry but they're a different class of profession, somewhere between personal assistants and body guards depending on the importance of Papa's task.

Taglist: @sodoswitchimage @enchantedbunny @bitchywitchygardener @thew0man @sodomiser @the-did-i-ask @copias-sewer-rat @gehrmansbignaturals

🔞 MDNI 🔞

As this is dark fiction, I'm choosing to rate it 21+. Please respect my rating. Thank you.

**WARNING**

This is a work of fiction based in the extreme horror category and should be treated as such. I do not condone the actions the characters make, nor am I actively encouraging others to participate in such actions in everyday life. It also does not reflect the personalities of the performers who play these characters.

The purpose of this fic is to shock, scare, entertain, and make readers entirely uncomfortable. If you are not in a headspace where you can safely read and enjoy this story, or even if the trigger warnings make you uncomfortable, I highly recommend and encourage you not to read this. Your mental health is more important than a work of fiction.

If you are struggling to come to terms with past trauma, please talk to someone and seek professional help.

You deserve to feel safe, loved and cared for. Thank you.

Sometimes rituals went wrong. That was one of the things you learned when you first joined the Ministry. Rituals go wrong and not every demon is your friend. Of course, the more rituals one participated in determined the success of said ritual just down to the fact that experience was a key ingredient and so it was always recommended to bring someone who had experience to every single ritual just to be safe.

Papa Copia’s Ghouls were the more experienced ones in the Ministry, but more specifically Mountain, Rain, Swiss, and Dew. Yourself and Phantom were mere babes in comparison; sweet summer children who knew nothing of life and Satanism, only sex rituals on pentagrams give funny dreams and great orgasms. Because of this, you and Phantom walked into the ritual room with a bit of a pep in your steps, and no worries or concerns whatsoever - not concerning yourselves with seriousness or responsibility. This was just a regular, sex magick ritual surrounded by friends in order to contact the Olde One and get some advice is all. You had done this perfectly before, and you had no reason to think it wouldn’t happen again.

You, Rain and Mountain began lighting the candles in the room, ten of them to be precise. One for each of the pentagram’s corners, and a further five to outline the space in between. Dewdrop, the most experienced of everyone there, was in charge of drawing the pentagram from scratch. The first step was to scrub away the existing paint from a previous Sibling’s ritual.

“Why are we doing this?” Phantom asked as he wrung out the hot, soapy water from the sponge.

Dew sighed, “Did you not pay attention during training, Phantom?”

Swiss was now on his hands and knees next to Dew scrubbing at the red paint with a hard-bristled brush. “Clearly not. Look at those eyes: no thoughts just vibes.”

Phantom threw some of the soapy water at Swiss, in turn earning himself a middle finger. “I didn’t have time to study, remember? I was just thrown straight into life here after Aether…” Phantom trailed off, remembering how so many people in the room weren’t ready to talk about what happened. There was a brief silence while they all cast their minds back to their long lost friend.

“We clean off the old pentagram,” Dew said, clearly exasperated by his Satanic brothers, “because we don’t know what kind of ritual our Siblings performed before we got here. Cleaning the floor allows us to better control the safety of our ritual.”

“What could happen if we don’t clean up?” Phantom asked. “Moreover, what would happen if we just built upon these lines?”

“Oh come on, Phantom.” You said. “Even I know that.” Phantom got on his knees and began scrubbing away the paint on his third of the pentagram. “The cross energy between rituals and magic opens up a gateway for negative energy to come through. Sometimes that energy is just bad karma or bad luck, and you have one hell of a week.”

Swiss, “Literally.”

You continued, “Or it’s the souls of the damned coming through, or worse, demons.”

Phantom, “Has the Dark One ever travelled through these portals?”

Dew, “Probably. But He doesn’t do it often.”

“What I still don’t understand is why demons and damned souls would want to hurt us, we’re all on the same side, after all.”

Mountain, “Catholicism. You give energy to things you believe in, which in turn makes it more powerful, right?” Phantom nodded. “This is why Lucifer Himself wouldn’t come to harm us because we love and worship Him as a friend, a lover, a brother etc. But according to Catholicism, why does Hell exist?”

“To punish bad people after they die.”

“And what do we know happens to these bad people when they spend an eternity being tortured by demons?”

“They become demons themselves.”

“Good boy, have a Scooby snack.” Mountain threw a packet of mini-Oreos at Phantom, who caught it with one hand.

Rain, “Some of those bad people become demons, not all of them. The majority of demons are created by Lucifer as assistants to Him, and they’re usually picked from the petty criminals rather than genocidal maniacs and bigoted pricks. Like Mephistopheles, for example. He was just a businessman before he died. Think Ebenezer Scrooge, but in real life. Stole from the poor to put in his back pocket. In comparison to say, I don’t know, Stalin, he wasn’t too bad of a guy. If Mephistopheles showed up, we would have a great time sending him back. We’d just have to watch our wallets.”

Phantom, “And if it’s one of the dangerous ones, it would be catastrophic?”

Dew, “Absolutely. Papa and the Clergy would have to get involved. Papa would have to contact the Olde One directly to come and drag the beast away. Contacting the Olde One with the ritual that Papa would need could put Papa in mortal danger. So, we clean to save Papa as well as ourselves. So, make sure you get every spot, you hear me?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

That was the first mistake made that night: no one double checked before the paint went down that the previous paint had been cleaned completely. From eye-level, everything looked squeaky. But what none of you realised at the time was there were small, insignificant specs of paint left in Swiss’ third. Insignificant specs, but by no means safe.

The second mistake was that when the candles were being placed on the freshly painted pentagram, one of them wasn’t precisely sat atop one of the points. The candles usually acted as an extra barrier of protection, essentially trapping something inside the pentagram if it came through uninvited. Lower level demons or spirits could still be trapped if the candles weren’t precise, but the higher level ones wouldn’t be stopped.

The five Ghouls were there to conduct the ritual on Papa’s behalf, you were there to provide the energy to allow them to do so. This wasn’t your first ritual and so you had no problems at all getting completely naked in front of the five men you considered to be close friends, and sitting in the centre of the pentagram. You’d been part of these rituals before with them, if you hadn’t already had a few of them balls deep inside you on multiple occasions beforehand. And so when they had all joined hands, you had no shyness or reservations about spreading your legs and exposing yourself to them. This would be the third mistake.

Swiss wasn’t concentrating fully. If you’d have opened your eyes and looked at your friends holding hands around you as they chanted, you would have seen Swiss looking directly at you with his mouth open, watching as you touched yourself surrounded by men. You would have seen that he was concentrating on your hands toying with your clit more than chanting the Latin required to safely perform the ritual. You could have stopped the ritual because of it - but you didn’t. You didn’t know that there was a problem.

Your head was thrown back in pleasure as your fingers worked over your clit. Your body was draining of energy the closer and closer you got to orgasm. In your line of sight, you could see Rain looking back at you but his mouth reciting the Latin he’d learned. You couldn’t see Rain’s eyes, though you were desperate to know what he looked like under there right now. All eyes were on you, and it turned you on so much to know that you were being intensely watched by five masked men as you dipped two fingers into your cunt and began to hit your g-spot.

Masked men, the fifth mistake.

Had they all removed their masks, everyone would have seen the biggest problem in the room: Swiss. Not only had he stopped chanting in order to concentrate on your wetness, but his head had begun twitching. Had he not worn his mask, others would have seen his eyes glaze over and roll back into his head. They’d have noticed the white dimming into pitch blackness. They’d have been able to break the circle and preemptively send the demon back to Hell before it could fully appear in the real world. But as hot as the masks were, and as much as you loved looking at them, they were impractical and unsafe for private rituals.

The air grew thick with an unholy presence, and a palpable darkness descended upon the ritual site. The very ground seemed to tremble beneath your feet as a foul wind swirled around you, extinguishing the candles one by one.

As the ritual reached its zenith, a sudden surge of malevolent force swept through the circle, causing you all to recoil in terror. Swiss let out a deep, yet blood curdling scream causing everyone in the room to stop what they were doing and freeze, yourself included. Your wet hand now removing itself from your core and your body sitting up straight in alarm. By the time you’d focused on him, Swiss had broken the circle and was cupping his head over his helmet, as though he was in immense pain. His screaming continued as he doubled over, bent at the waist and yelling at the floor. Swiss’ voice, now filled with an otherworldly resonance, grew louder and more insistent, his body trembling with an eerie energy. One of his hands began to hit at the mask in an attempt to stop whatever was causing him so much discomfort.

“Swiss!” Dew shouted, running over to his friend. “Brother, focus! Come back to us! Phantom! Go get help, now!”

Phantom nodded and ran out the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

“Swiss, it’s me: it’s Dew. What’s wrong, brother?”

“My… head!” Swiss exclaimed through gritted teeth. “It’s in my head!”

You stood up and dressed yourself, making sure that at least your habit was covering you. All the while, you watched as Dew frantically tried to get answers out of his brother, and figure out what went wrong so he could help. Swiss was still screaming, still trying to escape out of Dew’s grasp.

Then silence.

Swiss stood straight. Still. No more screams of pain, no more frantic Dew. You couldn’t even hear the world outside the ritual room. Just maddening silence that could drive a person to insanity if they were in it for too long. Everyone remained unmoving, fearing even breathing in case it triggered something. You wanted to leave, to escape the room and get help - or even just pull your friends out and save them. But your body wouldn’t move. It wouldn’t respond to your brain’s pleas to get the fuck away.

In that chilling moment, a grotesque transformation overtook Swiss. His voice, now distorted and filled with malice, spoke words that were not his own. It was a demon that had taken hold of him, a malefic entity summoned from the abyss.

The demon had been called forth by all of the mistakes made that night. It reveled in the chaos and despair that surrounded it, relishing the opportunity to wreak havoc upon the mortal realm. With Swiss as its vessel, the demon’s power knew no bounds.

The demon’s dark presence continued to grow, casting a sinister pall over the entire Ministry. Outside of the room, a sense of unease began to spread. Siblings and Ghouls alike could feel the malevolence that radiated from the heart of the Ministry, an unnatural darkness that seemed to seep into their very souls. It was as if the very fabric of reality had been torn asunder, and the boundary between the mortal realm and the abyss had grown thin.

Everyone was simply afraid to speak, to move, to even breathe. There was a comfort in the silence that couldn’t be explained other than Swiss hadn’t attacked anyone or made any movements. You weren’t even sure if Swiss was still in there. No one move, no one blink, no one make any sounds.

Swiss moved first - his head shifting from Ghoul to Ghoul to you as though he were studying you all. He seemed more like a caged animal than a human as he weighed up his options, though he wasn’t entirely registering what he was seeing. Each room was designed with at least some kind of demonic suppressor so you knew whoever had stolen Swiss from you didn’t have the full extent of his powers. But as he’d barely done anything, you still couldn’t gauge just how dangerous he was.

Suddenly, Swiss’ eyes locked onto you and focused on nothing else. Your body was still very scantily clad in your habit, your legs fully on display even though you were hiding behind Mountain. Swiss’ mouth curled up into a sinister smile. “He likes you.” Two voices emerged from his throat, the first being Swiss’ sweet timbre, the second the demonic entity inside of him. “I am in his head. I know. I see.” He took a small step forward. “He has sinned against you. He does so nightly.” Another step. “He imagines things in his chambers when he is alone. He wants to bury himself deep inside you. Even today during the ritual, he considered getting on his knees and taking you in front of everyone.” Another step. That was when you all realised the final mistake: you.

Swiss got possessed because he was watching you masturbate in front of him. He got possessed because he was craving your body, your touch. He got possessed because he was concentrating on how you’d feel wrapped around him and didn’t pay attention to the most important things. You never should have been chosen for the ritual. You never should have agreed.

Swiss spoke again. “I think we should give him what he wants, don’t you?”

“You stay away from her!” Dew shouted. He’d gained enough confidence and bravery to step forward, arms outstretched, and ready to restrain Swiss. Or at least attempt to anyway. Dew was much, much smaller than Swiss, so even when he wasn’t possessed by a demonic entity, restraining him alone would have been damn near impossible. But the added power now coursing through Swiss’ human veins made restraint way more difficult.

All Swiss had to do was lift his hand and Dew was levitating from the ground. A simple push saw Dew flying backwards, his head smacking against the wall and his body falling limp to the floor.

“Dew!” Rain shouted. It was a natural reflex done out of fear and it caused him to lurch forward. The demon, presuming Rain had moved to attack him, copied the motion and threw Rain against the wall too, the sweetest of all the Ghouls now unmoving on the other side of the room.

Mountain still held you behind him and for every step the demon took towards you, Mountain moved you backwards. You could tell he was trying to move you towards the door without taking his eyes off of Swiss. But deep down you both knew that while Mountain was a worthy opponent for Swiss, he was no match for the thing possessing him. All Mountain could do was hope that you at least got out of the room safely especially now that the demon had its eyes on you.

“Give her willingly and your life will be spared.” Swiss’ two voices cut through the panicked silence.

“No.” Mountain said.

Swiss raised his hand into a fist and concentrated on Mountain. Mountain, like the others, was now being raised off the ground, but this time Swiss was being torturous, enjoying the pain he was inflicting internally. Mountain grasped at his throat as if a hand had been wrapped around it, and struggled to get air into his lungs. “___,” he choked out, “go!”

Somehow your body responded to the sound of his voice and you made a break for the door. There was a part of you that knew you’d never reach it - that knew you’d end up in a worse fate than your friends, but you still tried anyway. Maybe if you left, you would be able to find more help to bring. Maybe you’d run into Phantom or Papa, just someone who could come and save everyone. You refused to believe that they were all dead - you would have given up if you thought that. So for all the good it did you, you chose to run. You chose to fight as best you could.

Behind you, Mountain’s body thudded to the floor, but you could hear him gasping for breath. Swiss, who was now focussing on you trying to make your escape, didn’t put the full extent of his powers into hurting Mountain as he did Dewdrop and Rain. Mountain was weakened from the impact but he wasn’t unconscious… yet. But now you had no protection - now you were completely vulnerable.

You managed to get the door open, but by then, it was too late, Swiss had already come up behind you and slammed it shut again. His large hands grabbed onto your waist, thick fingers digging into your flesh and manoeuvring you to where he wanted you. Your own back slammed against the door and you were met with Swiss’ cold, unfeeling mask, glass eyepieces only showing a glimpse of the blackened eyes that had completely stripped away the humanity from one of your closest friends. His once beautiful smile brought you nothing but happiness now evil and no doubt the last thing you’d ever see. You struggled, fighting against the unholy strength that had caught you, but of course, you were no match for him - in fact, he seemed to enjoy you struggling. In your frantic movements, your hip grazed his and you felt his cock now standing hard beneath his Ghoulish uniform. You knew what was coming.

He cackled, the two voices giving a creepier edge to something so joyous. His free hand came to remove the helmet and allowed you to gaze at the face that was going to bring you so much pain. His eyes were, indeed, as black as you’d been told. Veins were popping from beneath his skin, no doubt Swiss straining from the inside to expel the demon from within but failing miserably. Even though you could hear it wasn’t Swiss, and you could see the eyes certainly weren’t his, it was so difficult to differentiate between demon and human. Your brain struggled reminding you that Swiss wasn’t the one who’d hurt your friends; that he wasn’t the one rubbing his clothed cock against your thigh; that his hand wasn’t squeezing one of your soft breasts so painfully hard; that it wasn’t his tongue licking a stripe from your neck to your ear.

You pushed against his large chest trying to distance yourself, but it was as if you were trying to move the Ministry itself. He wasn’t budging. “Get. Off. Me!” You grunted in your exertion.

“This Ghoul wants you - you would deny him? You would deny him after the show you put on for him?”

“There was no show!”

“Really? Because you angled your body to give him the perfect view of,” the hand that was on your breast now moved to your crotch and gripped your vulva tightly - so tightly you screamed, “this cunt. You wanted him to touch you. You were asking for him to take you. Begging for it, were you not?”

“I wasn’t!”

“Lying whore!” He slapped your face hard enough to leave a mark, the bite knocking you off kilter for a second and making the room spin. He grasped hold of your cheeks and forced you to look at him. He took his opportunity to kiss you, forcefully pressing his mouth to yours and using his tongue to lick over your unresponsive lips. Taking this opportunity, you kneed him in his crotch now extra sensitive from all the blood that had pooled there. This gave you enough respite from his attack to push him away from you and attempt an escape. The door was locked shut this time, though. And it didn’t matter anyway, he was faster than you thought.

His thick forearm wrapped around your neck and pulled your body flush against his. “You like pain, hm?” This time, when he spoke, he used only Swiss’ voice. He tightened his arm and began cutting off the air supply to your lungs. “You want me to make it hurt?”

“Swiss!” You choked from his anaconda-like grasp. “Stop!”

“He cannot help you now, little one. But I have made sure he can see everything.”

With one hand on your shoulder, he released you from his chokehold long enough to push you hard to the ground. As you stumbled and collapsed, you felt the skirt of your habit rising up over your bare ass cheeks, which earned another menacing snicker from the demon. “Look at you. The little Jezebel is ready for her master’s cock.”

“No!”

You got onto your hands and knees ready to stand and run, but you felt Swiss’ boot on your exposed backside and stamping you back down flush to the floor. Wasting no more time or effort, he straddled your hips to keep you pinned down and pressed his entire weight onto you. Over the sound of your struggling, you heard his jeans zipper undoing.

“Still some energy in you, I see.” He taunted as he placed his hands where his thighs were and moved further down your body, still fighting you. “I wonder how long that will last.”

You braved a look behind you to see if there was anything further you could do, but caught a glimpse of what Swiss was sporting under his clothes. Now he was fully exposed, you truly saw his length and girth for what it was and dread pooled in your stomach. The pain you were about to feel was beyond terrifying.

“Which hole should we rape?” Swiss asked, lining himself up with your ass and rubbing against the rim. “This one?”

“No! Please! Let me go!”

“Or this one?” He then rubbed over the entrance to your cunt and gasped. “She is wet! The whore is ready to accept Satan’s gift! She wants it even though she deludes herself otherwise.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Ghoul, which hole do you fantasize about the most, hm? Which one do you want us to rape today?” There was silence for a moment and you could swear you heard Swiss’ screams - similar screams to when he was first possessed. “Her tight, little cunt hm?”

He lined up once more with your hole, and you tried again to escape from underneath him. “Swiss! Please stop! Please! No!” Your wriggling proved useless when you felt him press inside you.

The pain was beyond anything you’d felt before, a searing white hot pain that shot through your entire body and only continued the more of him entered you. He wasn’t gentle with his movements, as expected from a demon. He bottomed out almost immediately, hitting your cervix roughly and causing you to scream. “He was right,” Swiss said, “you do feel incredible. This hole was made for cock, no wonder he spent all his time drooling over you.” He pulled out and thrust back in laughing at your pain-filled scream. “I have kept him awake so that he can remember this gift the Unholy Father has bestowed. More material for him to think about in the darkness of his room.”

“Please, stop!” Your voice was high pitched now and tears were staining your cheeks as your hands covered your mouth to muffle your cries. Your distraught sobs caught the demon’s attention, however, and he wanted his gratification.

He wrapped Swiss’ hand in your hair and tugged your face off the floor. Your mouth was hung open from your weeping and your screams escaped every time he thrust in and hit your cervix. “That is right, scream for him. Let him know how good you feel on his cock.” The sound of your cunt swallowing him made him speed up his movements, entirely enthralled by your body accepting him properly. “Show him how you love being raped by his fat cock.”

“P-please stop!”

He groaned. “Keep begging for me to stop. Keep crying for me. You get tighter every. Single. Time.” He thrust between each word, getting rougher and rougher with you.

With his hand in your hair, your head was lifted and you could look around the room. As your body was pushed along the floor by the power of his hips, your tears blurred your vision but you could still see your friends laying lifeless in front of you - spread in all manner of ways. None of them could save you. None of them could help you. If they were even alive. Your thoughts turned to Phantom, outside of this room searching for someone to come and exorcise the demon back to Hell. Your fear became overpowering at the thought of the sweet newcomer walking in and seeing you pinned beneath Swiss, being raped by someone you all used to love and trust. Would anyone else understand that this wasn’t Swiss hurting you? Would Swiss even survive the exorcism?

In a moment of adrenaline from the fear you felt, you shifted your body using all the strength you could muster. You wrapped your legs around his calves, swung your arm to hit his face and proceeded to turn as if you were about to lie on your back. Swiss didn’t anticipate this and so slipped out of you for a brief moment, falling off of you. Wasting no time, your weak legs forced you onto your feet and you ran towards the door once more. Your brain was clearer than before allowing you to unlock the door this time. But as you opened it, once again, Swiss pushed it closed.

“Clearly I have not broken you yet.”

By the collar of your habit, he pulled you back to give him the space to stand in front of you. His hand, now tightly closed in a fist, backhanded your cheek and all you saw was black.

When you came to, your jaw ached so badly. Your vision was blurred and it took a while to come to. Your hands were held above your head as you lay on your back, a large hand holding them together and restraining you. As your head was turned to its side, you saw Mountain and Rain laying next to each other, still entirely unconscious and unmoving. But you were still being attacked.

Now that you were pinned to the floor, and had been out for you didn’t know how long, Swiss had chance to fully savour you. Your habit had been torn town the middle, exposing you completely to the demonic eyes you were now staring into, those very eyes entranced by the way your breasts bounced from the roughness of his thrusts. His cock was now spearing into you much harder than before, the position allowing him to fuck into you deeper. His pubic mound was grinding against your clit as he pounded away, and for the first time that night you were feeling pleasure with the pain.

“I knew you wanted this.” Swiss said from above you upon hearing the small pleasured whimper that escaped you. “I knew you were a whore who loved getting raped. How you would spread your legs for anyone who offered you a bit of attention. I am not wrong, am I?” You moaned again accidentally, this time louder. “Say it. Tell me how much you love it. Tell him that you love it when he rapes you.” When you didn’t obey, he wrapped his hands around your throat. “Say it!”

“I love it!” You shouted reluctantly. “I love being raped!”

Somehow this wasn’t a lie. Since waking up, every hit against your cervix, every drag of his cock against your walls felt delicious. The demonic black of his eyes, the thick hands that held you down had you spreading your legs wider to let him continue abusing your hole. You were getting wetter and wetter with each thrust, more desperate to cum than ever before. You fear dissipated and was replaced with nothing but cock. The weight of it driving you crazy, the way he used you for his own pleasure and revelled in your agony. How he lowered himself to lick your tears away and bury himself inside you over and over again.

“There you go. That was not difficult. You got so much tighter too.”

Your screams turned from pain to desperation. Your mouth hung open in a perfect O. His cock had broken you, stripped you of everything and turned you into his own, personal toy. You sat up as much as you could to see where you both were connected. You saw the base of his cock was rimmed with white where your wetness had turned to cream and stuck in his pubic hairs. Each pull out of you had multiple strings of your own juices forming and snapping. You could feel yourself spilling out of your hole and running down your body, gathering on the wooden floor below you. Fuck! It felt so fucking good.

“Will you cum on his cock? Will you cum on the cock that rapes you?”

“Yes!” You screamed looking back up into his eyes. “I’m gonna c-cum! I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna-!”

The door opened right as your orgasm hit, your mind clouding over and drool dripping from your mouth as you came all over Swiss’ cock. The last thing you remember seeing was Papa Copia’s eyes look into yours in horror as you came like a desperate whore while your close friend took you against your will. Then the world went black.

When you came to, your eyes refused to open at first. Your head was pounding from the physical trauma and there was a deep-seated pain in your core that sent stabbing pains through your legs every time you moved them.You groaned and tried to sit up but your body refused to respond. The heart monitor beside you kept bleeping letting you know that you were, in fact, alive, but also that you were currently in the infirmary. But there was another sound coming from the foot of your incredibly uncomfortable bed. When your eyes finally opened it took you a while to fully process what you were seeing.

Swiss.

In a moment of pure fear, you panicked and tried to move further up the bed, as far away from him as you possibly could. You could feel a scream building in your throat, but your jaw hurt you too much to move it. Even still, your fear didn’t care. Swiss’ eyes were back to normal, and glassy with unshed tears. His face, pale and sickly, stained with the tears he had cried. He looked awful - his veins tinted a little black from the pressure of the demon inhabiting his body.

“Please, don’t scream!” He said quickly. “It’s me again. The demon’s gone.” You wanted to open your mouth and ask him what he was doing there, but your jaw wouldn’t move. “Your jaw isn’t broken, but it’s badly bruised from where I…” He started crying again, burying his head on your bed. “I’m so fucking sorry!” He wept hard, your heart breaking for him every time you saw his shoulders violently shake. “I hurt you so b-bad. I’m so sorry! I d-didn’t want to do any of th-those things. I tried - I tried to stop but it was t-too… strong. It w-wasn’t me!”

Deep down you knew it wasn’t. You knew Swiss would never hurt you like that because he never had. He’d never shown that level of ferocity and violence to anyone or anything. He was the kindest soul in the Ministry - a ray of sunlight the morning after a storm. Before all of this, you would have trusted him with anything, your life included. But even though reason told you he wasn’t the monster that attacked you, your brain still registered him as the attacker. When you saw his eyes before he hid them, you could have sworn for a brief moment they were still black. You wanted to comfort him, to tell him that it was okay and you forgave him even though there wasn’t anything to forgive. But there was such a hesitation. An annoying voice in the back of your head saying “what if”? What if that really was him? What if they didn’t exorcise the demon out? They must have otherwise he’d be in chains in the dungeons right now. So, you reached your hand out and touched his head, gently stroking at his hair. Tears were falling down your face too as your brain replayed the trauma.

When you both had calmed down a little, and Swiss was no longer hiding his face from you, you both sat in silence staring at each other. You were studying his face for imperfections and signals that he was unsafe, and he was studying yours for any hints of fear that should tell him he needed to go. “I know it’s selfish of me being here.” He said. “It only happened yesterday. I’m not supposed to be here. Papa’s going to come and talk to you when you’re feeling stronger, he wants you to decide my punishment.”

You shook your head. You didn’t want to punish him.

“Everyone else is fine. Dew has a broken shoulder but he’ll live. Rain has concussion. Mountain’s up and out of the infirmary with no problems at all.” Your mind cast itself back to yesterday, watching Swiss barrel through them and throw them around like children’s toys. How helpless you felt when he was inside you and they were all in the room, knocked out from his attack. How none of them helped you.

“I shouldn’t have come but I needed to see you. I feel so guilty. I…” he hesitated. “I can’t stop thinking about it. About you. I felt everything the de- he did to you. I heard everything, saw everything, felt everything. And you felt so… especially when… fuck! I know I shouldn’t but I keep remembering and my body reacts. I’ve used my hand so many times since but nothing compares to… I need it. I need you. One more time. Please.”

There was a feeling of dread pooling in your stomach again but you could understand where he was coming from. Since you’d been awake and your mind was showing you the images from yesterday, you were also losing your mind. You remembered everything in graphic detail, especially how good it felt when you woke up on the floor. Arousal began to replace the dread and your thighs rubbed together, making you hiss in pain. But the pain and the arousal seemed to control you, and for some reason unbeknownst to you, you nodded your head.

Swiss didn’t need to be told twice. He pulled back the comforter and climbed onto the bed. He lifted up the infirmary nightgown you were wearing and exposed your abused hole to him. You could see his cock tenting through his own nightgown at the sight of you. You were so broken and vulnerable, and it did things to him he knew he’d feel guilty for later on. But he just couldn’t resist any longer. It was like he was addicted to you. To it. “I can’t promise I’ll be gentle.” He told you. He lifted your gown further up to expose your breasts again before pulling himself free and lining himself up. You wanted to tell him to not be gentle, to disrespect you like he had yesterday, but the words couldn’t come out.

Pushing into you, you felt the same searing pain you felt the first time he did. You were so under prepared yesterday and even more so today. But after a few uncomfortable thrusts, the pleasure returned once more, and your hands, now finally responding, flew to his shoulders and grasped on, digging your nails into his skin.

His mouth had hung open and his own grunts and moans were escaping as he lost himself in the pleasure and the memory of your fear. You were deprived of this yesterday - and you were convinced that if you’d heard how good he felt, you’d have given up fighting long before you did.

“You feel even better than yesterday.” He muttered. His thrusts got rougher and you could feel the infirmary bed moving beneath you, groaning at the weight and the intense movement. “I kept thinking about how wet you got. The way you creamed on my fucking cock. I came twice to that thought alone. Fuck!”

Though your jaw was in pain, you were still able to whimper from the feeling of his fat cock railing you in a similar fashion to yesterday. Your own noises kept spurring him on.

“And when you screamed, yelling out how much you loved me raping you. Fucking hell. I want to hear it again. I want to hear you beg me to rape you over and fucking over. I want to keep you speared on my cock and make you cum on it because I just won’t stop raping you.”

You tightened at the thought, which made him let out a particularly loud moan.

“You want that, too?”

You nodded.

“Fuck. You want me to turn you into a little fucking rape toy, hm? A fuck-slut that’s only good for taking my fucking cum against her will. Have you beg me to stop while also sucking my cock back into your little hole.”

You dug your nails in again which prompted his hips to smack forward and whack your cervix.

“I’ll do it. Shit. I’ll find you when you’re out of the infirmary and I’ll force you to the fucking floor. I’ll take what I want from you when I want. You want that?”

You nodded.

“Fucking hell, I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum again. I came inside you yesterday too. They had a hard time pulling me off you. I just kept holding onto your hips and railing you into the floor. I’m gonna keep doing it now. Use you as my fucking cum receptacle. Rape a baby into you too. Show everyone who this hole belongs to.”

You tightened and moaned again.

“I went feral when they pulled me off of you and I saw my cum spilling out. Proof that I’d - fuck I’m cu-cumming!”

Once again he pushed himself as far into you as he possibly could and stilled, painting your walls with his seed.

No one else had ever made you feel that good before. The fact that he was recreating the shared trauma also did things to you that you couldn’t quite explain. You knew he was suffering as much as you were, that the guilt was eating away at him in the same way the fear was. Maybe that was why you willingly spread your legs for him this time, because you needed someone who knew to make you feel good.

When he’d finished, he watched himself spilling out of you. “Fuck…” he lamented. “No tissues. You didn’t cum.”

You wanted to tell him not to bother, that a nurse might show up midway through. You knew how bad it would look that the man who’d raped you had come back for seconds not twenty-four hours after the incident. But even if you could speak, he wouldn’t listen.

He bent down and placed his tongue in your hole, licking his cum out of you. He swirled his tongue around your cunt, trying to find the parts of you that would tip you over the edge. Once he’d determined that you were clean enough, he moved up to your clit and sucked. Hard. It was like he knew that his treatment of you yesterday meant that you needed it rough today too, and so he did his best to deliver. He didn’t let up until you came on his face, your own juices spilling out of you. You did your best to muffle the scream that was threatening to come out of you as you tipped over the edge, hyper-aware of the fact that a nurse could come rushing in to make sure you were okay. Swiss knew this too and so finished up as quickly as he possibly could.

“I’ll see you later, yeah?”

You nodded and watched him press a kiss to your temple, completely juxtaposing his treatment of you both yesterday and today before making his exit back to his own ward.

You watched him leave and let your eyes wander around the room. That was when you noticed it and froze in panic. There was a security camera in the top corner of the room… and it had just captured everything.

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thef1diary · 1 year ago

Text

Don’t Go | C. Sainz

Summary: You and Carlos broke up over a month ago, however he doesn't want it to stay that way.

Warnings: angst, toxic relationship if you squint

word count: 2.2k

pairing: carlos x fem!reader

"You know what, that's it. We're done!" You yelled at your boyfriend who was blatantly ignoring you while getting dressed for a work event. You didn't even wait for a response from him, mainly because you knew you weren't going to get one. You weren't the type of person to create a scene but your anger got to you. Slamming the door to your shared apartment, you kept telling yourself that you'll be fine without him while tears streamed down you cheeks.

One month later:

It turned out that you were fine without him, mainly because you haven't seen him yet. Carlos had a triple header coming up when you broke up with him, so you knew that he would be too busy anyways which meant you weren't expecting a text or phone call after your dramatic—but much needed—exit from his apartment.

It obviously hurt to leave him, after all you were together for four years. But what hurt more was that he didn't even care that you left. Despite how hectic race weekends could be, you thought that you had at least some sort of importance in his life to at least deserve a phone call.

During that one month, you thought about the four years you spent together and wondered where it went wrong. Carlos was an amazing, loving boyfriend. You understood each other, respected each other, and you truly loved him.

There were moments when he would be extremely stressed out due to his racing results and you completely understood that. The thing was, he would come to you to talk about it all. He would lay his head against your chest and you would play with his hair while he was would tell you everything.

However, the Carlos you knew then was nothing like the one you broke up with. He was distant, cold, and made you feel like you didn't mean anything to him.

You were currently out with your friend at a club because she made it her mission to help you move on. Obviously that meant finding someone else for a night to help you forget about everything but you didn't want that. In fact, you two had been out for a few hours now but you were still completely sober. You were moving on. Not forgetting about it, but accepting the truth. Or at least you thought you were.

You watched as your friend was dancing freely, without a care in the world and you wished that you could be like her. The temptation of wanting to drink was strong, but you restrained yourself because you didn't want to wake up with a hangover. Plus, drinking wasn't your thing. What you needed right now was a cigarette and a lighter, both of the things already in your pocket.

You silently communicated with your friend when she looked at you, telling her that you are going to step out for a moment. You stood in the alleyway where you saw two people making out further away. Turning away from them, you lit a cigarette. Sure this habit was bad, but it could be a lot worse. You weren't a heavy smoker but you always had a pack on you, just in case.

The air was chilly which made the smoke you inhaled feel a lot better than it usually would. The warmth radiating through your body was inviting.

You heard the back door open but didn't face it, thinking the couple went back in. You smelt his cologne before you saw him, and instantly the memories rushed back. Although, you doubted that he knew it was you.

You were right, because he tapped your shoulder and asked for a cigarette. When you turned to face him, he looked quite surprised. He looked good, of course he did, there were rarely any bad days for him. His hair was slightly messy due to the wind outside, and his outfit was quite casual.

He said your name to bring back your attention towards him. You passed him the pack and he commented, "thought you stopped."

"I did." You simply said, implying that you started again after your breakup. You'd still carry a pack on you even though you never touched it, but now things were different.

He nodded, standing beside you while you puffed out smoke. "Thought you didn't smoke." You commented to which he replied, "I didn't."

You could read the implication as well, but you didn't think that he'd ever indulge in this bad habit. He would always tell you to stop, joking around that he will live longer than you.

You didn't like this silence, nor did you want to talk to him. You initially thought that he'd say something, anything. But this silence was deafening.

Throwing the remnants of the cigarette, you turned around to leave but you remembered something so you stopped, "I still have to pick up my stuff, text me a time you're free so I can come by."

The night that you left in anger, you didn't take your keys belonging to your shared apartment, which meant you had to wait for him to be home so you could pick up your stuff.

——

He followed through on your request and texted you a few hours after your last conversation, telling you to come by whenever because he'd be home for the week.

So here you were, standing in front of the main door to the apartment you once called yours. He opened it after a few knocks, and you had to take a deep breath before you entered. It's finally time to get through this, no matter how painful it may be.

The apartment was exactly the same as you left it, if not messier. "Sorry, I didn't really have the time to clean up." He told you, but you shrugged, "it's okay. I'm not going to be here for too long."

There was a awkward tension between you two, and you decided to act civilized, the least you could do to make your time spent here easier. "How was Spain?" You asked, knowing that his home race was the most recent one. You've always attended his home race, so it felt weird that you weren't there this time.

"It was good, got second place." He said, and you didn't have the guts to tell him that you watched the race, seeing him celebrate with his teammate who won. You also saw the trophy that was undoubtedly new, sitting on the shelf among his others.

If you two were together, you'd surely celebrate his race with other friends and family and even more when you two would've gotten home that night. But that's something that will never happen now.

Walking towards your bedroom, the same one you and Carlos shared, you started gathering your things. Either Carlos didn't want to remove your things or he didn't have the time to do so. For your peace of mind, you are hoping the second reason is true.

You had brought an empty suitcase with you, and while you were filling it up with your clothes, his voice made you pause, "don't go." He was leaning against the doorframe, watching you pack up all your stuff and then planning on leaving this apartment without any trace of your relationship behind.

"You should've said that a month ago," you were quick to respond without even looking up at him. Which is why you didn't see him walking closer and crouching down. He held your hand to stop you from folding your clothes, making you look at him.

"I should've said a lot more a month ago, but is too late to say it now?" He asked as he moved his hand up, placing it on your cheek.

For a moment, you let yourself get lost in his eyes. Mainly because it reminded you of the good times of your relationship, before everything went wrong.

Carlos took your lack of response to continue, "you know, I miss you" those words broke you out of your trance, "I miss the old you" you responded, making him realize the consequences to his actions.

You moved his hand away, returning back to the task at hand. "Can we please talk about this?" He asked, making you sigh. "I'm sorry Carlos, I don't think that's a good idea." You shook your head.

"Why not? It was a bit extreme no, you just walked out on me."

"Like I said, it's been a month. If you wanted to stop me or talk about it then you should've called me or at least make the effort to contact me. But you didn't, and that's exactly why we're over now." You tried to keep yourself in control, watching your tone. You didn't want to leave this apartment while arguing again.

"I was busy with the races you know that-" he tried to reason but you were quick to stop him. "And that's the problem Carlos, you were busy. You've gotten so busy nowadays that I barely see you. There have been times where I had to wait weeks before I could see you again, and even then all you're talking about is the next upcoming race."

He opened his mouth to say something but you didn't let him and continued, "I get it, it's your career, it's something you've wanted since you were a child. But if your career is that important for you that you can't even spend any time with me, then there's no point of a relationship." You concluded.

You could see when realization hit him, knowing that things won't be the same anymore. You would feel bad but he wasn't there to console you when you felt like that either. You almost scoffed at the idea of him thinking that everything between you could work out.

"You're really choosing to throw away the four years we spent together?"

"I really didn't want to. Trust me, I really, really didn't want this. But I am tired of being the only one holding our relationship together. In the past year, I have seen no efforts from your side." You were brutally honest with him, and despite his expressions saying otherwise, he needed to hear this.

He held your hands again, "don't do this."

"Carlos, why don't you understand. For lack of better words, I'm freeing you from this. You don't have to worry about calling, texting, or even seeing me." The words you were saying out loud were tearing your heart apart and you had no doubt that if Carlos still loves you, he'd feel the same.

"If you think you're not gonna see me or hear from me again, you're wrong. You will see me, and you will damn well hear from me again." Carlos' mood shifted.

"No-" you began but he cut you off. "You've said your part, now hear me out. If you think I stopped loving you for even a moment, you're wrong. And I know you still love me too. If you didn't, you would completely ignore me and not try to convince me why our break up is a good idea. Although it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself rather than me."

You opened your mouth but no words came out because you were speechless. "You think I didn't have a single thought about you while I was away? You're wrong. You're the only person I thought about, you occupied my mind every second of every day for the entire month."

"If you really want to try this whole breakup thing out, sure go ahead. Walk out of my life like you did a month ago, but this time I am not letting you go. If you think you are not going to see any effort from me, again sorry but you're wrong."

"I am so sorry for everything I've done or haven't done for the past year and truly I have no excuse for my actions. But you, darling, are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

You know what Carlos expects you to say. He wants you to forget about it all and go back to how you two were before. But at the same time, he is challenging you to leave, and you never backed down from a challenge before and you won't start now. As much as you love him, you need actions not words.

"You claim to love me right?" You ask and he nods.

You zip up your suitcase and stand up. "I am going to leave, and you will let me. You say that you'll prove it to me, so until I don't see you taking actions for your words, I am not coming back."

He still looks taken aback, clearly not expecting you to do this. But he settles his emotions and nods, "you can leave, but I'm not letting you go."

Carlos is also the type to accept the challenge, and he will do anything to earn your love again. After all, he never wanted to break up, in fact, he wanted to make you his wife. So if he has to work for that, he will.

#f1 #formula 1 #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1blr #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fandom #carlos sainz #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz angst #thef1diary fic

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nicksbestie · 10 months ago

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haiii can i be 🐛 anon? also mayhapsss a johnnie x reader where they meet thru mutual friend jake and instantly like each other but are too nervous to ask the other out? and like they act all awkward around each other until eventually jake basically does the work for them 😭 totally chill if not tho!

Nerves - Johnnie Guilbert

Summary : You're anxious about meeting your best friend's new roommate, but you hit it off better than you think you will.

Pairing : Johnnie Guilbert/Reader (romantic)

Warnings : mentions of anxiety

Word Count : 1378

A/N : The ending was kinda rushed because I was writing it before school, I hope you still love!!! (and obviously the number I put at the bottom is fake, please do not go harass whatever poor soul has that phone number!)

You and Jake had been best friends for a long time, coming up on a decade now. You had grown up in the same part of town, and being the only alternative kids for a hundred miles, it was no secret that you were immediately drawn to each other as a choice in friends. Your friendship had persisted when the two of you had begun careers in social media, specifically YouTube for Jake, and TikTok for you, knowing that there had to be something better out there for you than just living in Kansas all of your life. You had run into an extremely incredible amount of luck, allowing the both of you to become incredibly successful, and moving out to LosAngeles to pursue your careers even further.

You used to be roommates, but in some cases, best friends weren’t the best roommates, and this was one of those times. Your personalities meshed together perfectly when you were hanging out, talking, and spending time with each other, but when it came to living together, they clashed heavily and you just didn’t get along. Neither of you held any hard feelings, and you moved out, finding a new roommate, which ended up being Jake’s now ex-girlfriend, Tara. You two were best friends, and loved living together, and Jake had found a new roommate recently, another YouTuber named Johnnie. You were supposed to be meeting him for the first time today, and you couldn’t deny that there were definitely some nerves there.

You didn’t always make the best impression, because despite your on camera appearance and bold personality, you were very introverted off camera. You weren’t necessarily the quiet kid, but you weren’t someone who went out of their way to meet new people. But, Johnnie was clearly a very important person in Jake’s life automatically, so you wanted to get to know him and hopefully enjoy his company as much as you enjoyed Jake’s. Tara had already met him, and said that his personality was similar to yours, very energetic on camera but very laid back off of it, and you were happy to hear that because it meant that if push came to shove, you could sit in quiet, comfortable silence until you and Tara were ready to head home, depending on how late the night lasted.

Tara was coming with you for moral support, and the fact that Jake had invited her over. You really respected their relationship, knowing that not very many people could still be best friends after a breakup, especially with such a long relationship, but they seemed to not want to let go of the other, refusing to be anything less than friends because they had been friends first, and the fact that they had fallen in and out of love with each other was not going to change that if they had any say in it. You were getting ready to leave the house, Tara finishing her makeup, you finishing your hair, and Tara was going to drive because you really just didn’t want to, and she was happy to.

Getting in the car after putting finishing touches on everything, (you’re nothing short of a perfectionist), Tara was talking away about how much fun the two of them are, and how they’re clearly really good friends, and that you were going to get along great with the both of them. Her comfort and reassurance really did help your nerves, and you were glad that you had someone to go with just in case your anxiety did get the best of you, as it did sometimes. Meeting new people always caused it to go nearly haywire because of the fact that there is a ton of pressure on making a good first impression, and as a perfectionist, you hate messing things up, full stop. So, having someone there to help you should anything go wrong was amazing, and you were so grateful to have such a good friend in Tara.

Pulling up to Jake’s, and now Johnnie’s, home, you immediately got out with Tara, and she just walked in like she owned the place. In a certain sort of way, you guessed that she kind of did. She did use to spend nearly all her time here, so she may as well have co owned it right along with Jake. She still had a key, Jake hadn’t wanted it back, so here she was again, going straight to the fridge and announcing her entrance by cracking open a random can of some drink, probably alcoholic, knowing that Jake often threw parties at his place. They were some impressive parties, and you respected his ability to go that all out with that many people there. Tara did the same, but you always left the house on nights she did that.

You noticed a person sitting on the couch, looking up as Tara walked in, and it definitely wasn’t Jake, so you assumed that this person was Johnnie. You couldn’t deny the immediate attraction that you felt towards him, as you had always had a thing for the alternative scene style. The multiple piercings on his face just added to the pull you’d felt for him, as you had quite a few yourself. You couldn’t stop your thoughts from wandering about how his lip piercings would feel against yours, what it would be like to trace his tattoos with your fingers while laying next to him, and you needed to shake yourself out of those thoughts before you turned red and embarrassed yourself. When you did just that, it took you a moment to realize that he was speaking to you.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you! I’m Jake’s roommate, Johnnie, as you probably already guessed.”

Shaking yourself out of your daze, you introduced yourself with a smile on your face, turning back to walk over to where Tara was sitting at the bar. You gave her an incredulous look, one that she had seen so often. It was your “what the fuck” look. She had a defensive look on her face, not sure what you were about to say.

“You didn’t tell me his roommate was hot.”

Tara now returned her own incredulous look, glancing over at Johnnie before returning her eyes to you.

“Him? I mean, he’s cute, but he’s not really my type. I knew he was yours though, thought it might help you loosen up a bit or whatever if there was some level of attraction.”

You could strangle Tara right now, but you knew that maybe it would work out for the better. It was shortly after that that Jake walked into the room, hugging you both, and asking if you’d introduced yourself to Johnnie. You said that you had, to which Jake gave a playful eyebrow wiggle and a short comment about “he’s hot, no?” You rolled your eyes, ignoring your best friend and grabbing some chips out of the bag that he had laid out on the counter. He tried to reach for it, and you snatched it out of the way of his hand, angling it to where Tara could grab some out of it. He of course exaggerated his reaction to this, throwing a hand over his heart and feigning offense.

“I’m being ganged up on! Johnnie, help me, two on two?”

His friend cracked a smile but shook his head staying on the couch.

“No way. I’m not getting involved in this, you never pick fights against Tara, let alone her friends too.”

You tossed the chip bag over to Johnnie, smiling at his support of you and Tara against Jake. The rest of the night went perfectly, and you and Johnnie really hit it off. As much as you hated to admit it, Tara had been right, and you ended up enjoying yourself. And after a little bit of encouragement from Jake, which basically meant that he yelled at you and Johnnie to kiss and go get a room, pushing you towards each other, you woke up the next morning to see a text from a new number that you hadn’t saved in your phone yet.

+1 (978) - 495 - 6506 : Last night was fun. I really like you, are you free for lunch today?

~ taglist : @jake-and-johnnies-slut @gvf23 @elliem505 @ilydeaky @maryx2xx @oobleoob @aemrsy @blahbel668 @mystic-maniac @maddytheweird @707xn @jasperthefriendlyghostt

~ if you'd like to be added to my johnnie and jake taglist, click here!

~ my inbox is open, come chat!! <3

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