#in fact i enjoy that way more. not my fault my current fandom is just a bunch of men kissing and fucking

[cn-alastair-lite]

i lovingly dedicate my latest sha hualing drawing to the guy who commisioned me but was afraid it was "out of scope of my ability" because "i /clearly/ am not the type to draw big-breasted ladies"

[kingofthefortress]

An explanation

Tl;dr - this blog will most likely never come back. It will remain on what is essentially an indefinite hiatus unless something else ends up happening and I change my mind.

I left randomly, and want to explain why I did, properly.

If you don't know, I'm mod Rat. I was the second TADC askblog and shortly after the creation of the Kinger blog(which you are currently on) I made @zooooble, an askblog where I attempted to write as my interpretation of Zooble as opposed to Kinger, as they were two major comforts to me at the time(along with TADC as a whole).

Unfortunately, we got off to a rocky start pretty much immediately, with someone sending gore in my asks, leading to the asks being closed right after they opened. A bit later after asks were reopened, I started getting more and more odd asks - including animal abuse on Zooble's blog, and people being very gross about Kinger here and in some instances, me. This continued until I closed up the asks, which I originally didn't know would be permanent.

This ended up lining up horribly with my irl situation aswell, not to mention the fact that I was frequently disrespected in my asks. Someone even talked bad about me in Zooble's blog, thinking we were different mods.

Through all of this other mods were having lore happen to their characters, it got so overwhelming to have to keep up on anon blogs, TADC blogs, personal blogs I haven't and never will show here, it was making this feel like a chore.

Not to mention Zooble - because of several shitposts that I now regret, people were asking me and mod Soup(owner of the Gangle blog) to make Google canon. It was and never will be canon. It is a ship that now makes me uncomfortable and as I understand it, Soup aswell as they are literally in a relationship.

I didn't want this blog to get to the state it did. I just wanted to make jokey things, but it all got so complicated so quickly. It has been atrocious for my health, mental and physical. And I decided I need to stop worrying about this post. I wanted to make something like it months ago, but I didn't want to let people down. I don't care for this blog anymore.

I started a comic at some point in here, really its mostly a blur, but I ended up falling out of TADC as the third panel was being worked on. The whole Kinger wood rot arc was just something I made to make myself feel more included since other mods were doing lore with their respective characters aswell. I regret it - he would've been better as a silly character, like I started the blog with the intent to invision him as.

The TADC fandom was alright for awhile, but at this point, I am no longer interested in TADC, the characters, story, or these blogs.

The blogs were great when they started, when it was just some people having fun, but now, everything feels so odd. It's all different and not in a good way, not to the fault of the mods at all.

If you still want TADC askblogs(in the OG askblog group) -

@thecomicallytragicgangle is to my knowledge the most active, @jaxtherabbit is to my knowledge either on hiatus or inactive(though their blog is still fun to scroll through), @blue-tooth(Moon) I am unsure if they are active or not but they're an amazing artist and have a blog that's fun to go through, @theoneandonlysun is still active(I think), @cainetheringmaster is somewhat active, @theclownkaufmo(Abstractions) is a shared blog where to my knowledge there are still a few abstractions taking answers. There is of course askblogs not in this group, but these are the ones I was interacting with.

I believe @pomniii and @ragatha1 are inactive.

I will be floating around in some places in the internet, but now, this is my goodbye to this blog and all my other blogs on this account.

I guess this is just a lengthy post all to say:

Goodbye TADC. I hope you enjoyed this blog while it lasted.

[adayladoorwalt]

This is a bit of a rant. Something that feels so wrong to me on twitter is the fact that people genuinely think that the end of the dsmp meant the end of anything related to the series, when the dsmp ended people left because of their own personal issues and feelings. The fans moved on and then the stories that could have happened were lost. Think about the stories that because of the fandom’s response to even seeing dsmp, were lost. I think back to how when Ponk expressed interest in doing projects on the dsmp, her fans fucking freaked, thusly they stopped any mention of a new dsmp project.

The DSMP isn’t lost media because of lost streams or lack of content, it’s lost media because the streamers never came back to something that they enjoyed doing.

I think of the creators who actually credit their time in the dsmp as a way to grow their audience and now don’t mention it because it’s not a project that is still happening. I think of Eret just occasionally talking about the fun they had on the server, what their plans for their story and them actually acknowledge the existence of their time on the dsmp. Fundy had an interview a few months back and he fully acknowledged that he used clickbait to make it in the mcyt bubble. There are former dsmp creators who acknowledge, express admiration for being on the project and then leave it be. They are few and far between.

More and more I see creators who were in the space are stupidly trying to get the high of 2020-2022. Trying to get to those extreme heights and now they figure that dissing the dsmp as it’s no longer ‘cool’ and ‘popular’ to have any positive thoughts on it. Philza in particular is the one that comes to mind with the ‘i’d rather gauge my eyes out then ever go back the dsmp’ comment which he later went back on like ‘oh I actually had a good time’. I never have appreciated any of the comments considering my favorite person from the dsmp often talked about how much he enjoyed playing on it. How he died not thinking he wouldn’t be able to finish his storyline but he did. The storyline he started became buried in the sands of the dsmp.

Techno’s legacy as a member of the dsmp is one that had a great impact on so many people who now don’t even have that. The creators who decided clout was worth more than being able to be able to communicate with each other.

Complain all you want about Dream’s ‘lack of communication’ but it seems now knowing about the fuck show that has been about any fucking drama that has happened in the past year, everyone of these fuckers can’t fucking communicate.

Now creator want come back pretending to have enjoyed the project and now their fans are being annoying about how much they thought it ‘could have been so much better if x,y,z’ and really it’s their creator’s fault. It’s their own fault for not just realizing that they may have not actually enjoyed the dsmp. The fans are the reason the dsmp was dead. Because to dteam+munchymc fans we desperately miss the dsmp. Techno fans do too. The fans of the dsmp are not the ones that are coming back, it’s the ones that stayed.

I just am having so many issues with the current ‘dsmp discourse’ and it stems from idiots being idiots.

[chevelleneech]

All the Twitter drama between BuckTommy and Buddies shippers today is exactly as I said it was. Over confident fans vs scared fans, only now it’s been fueled by a video in which a likable actor is being paid by both the network and fans to say he supports his character and the relationship his character is in.

I can’t even fault Lou, because he’s a working actor (I don’t know his income despite who his father is), so I don’t think he’s automatically in the wrong for being paid to tell his fans/shippers what they want to hear. The problem is BuckTommy shippers taking what is a specifically paid viewpoint and using it as ship war fuel. Oliver is pro Buddie and people use that to their advantage, but Oliver has been vocal about being okay with Buck and Eddie dating for years and he doesn’t get paid by fans to say so. At the same time though, there also never been another ship with his character and a man for him to discuss outside of Buddie.

Which is why I’m not understanding the pedestal BuckTommy fans have put Lou on, nor why they’re ignoring the fact that Oliver hasn’t exactly said he’s in favor of BuckTommy lasting the remainder of the series. He’s been very open ended about it, which is fine, and I don’t think he’d be disappointed if that is what happens. But he also did just post about Buddie, and his interviews lately have continued to be about him saying he’s open to Buddie if it happens, as opposed to him saying something to focus on BuckTommy or how he hopes they will flesh out that relationship for a while.

Which again, I would imagine he does think. I genuinely believe Oliver cares about Buck’s journey as a bisexual man and wants to see that play out in the best way possible, but it does currently seem like he’s more inclined to Buddie than BuckTommy. Which is not a good or bad thing for either side. It’s an objective observation.

So I guess my reason for writing this post, is just… why are BuckTommy fans putting more weight on how a guest star whose entire storyline will likely only ever focus on his sexuality and relationship with a man, than a lead actor who wants his character to explore his sexuality and is very vocal about being open to that exploration being with someone other than Tommy?

Because as soon as Buck and Tommy kissed, people began pushing Eddie and everything he means to Buck to the side. And now, the more we get to know Lou and the more he interacts with fans, the more those same shippers are pushing Oliver and everything he says and has said about Buddie, to the side. So it’s as if it’s not enough for BuckTommy to simply be canon. Because they are and at the end of the day, that trumps any other ship Buck could have in the future. Right now he’s with Tommy, period, but that’s not enough, I guess?

Y’all seem to want BuckTommy and confirmation that Buddie will never happen, but why? Buddie is a ship idea that has existed since season two. It is a ship that not only the fans like, but that the actors and show runner enjoy. It is a ship that if the opportunity presents itself, all the people who can make it happen, plan to make happen. That doesn’t mean it has to become canon, but paying an actor portraying a character of half the ship you prefer to say positive things about the ship, is not a gotcha.

Lou is being paid on and off screen to support Tommy, so why wouldn’t he do that? It is also good promo for the characters and the show, and there is no reason for him to not ship BuckTommy, seeing as their relationship is currently doing well. And I know fandom is going to fandom, but there is literally no reason for BuckTommys to be combative. The ship is canon, that’s a fact. Yes, it’s also a fact that Tommy was shitty in his past and that there is no solid foundation for him and Buck as a couple, but that can change come s8.

There is nothing but sunny skies in the BuckTommy forecast, so why are y’all searching for storm clouds? Buddie shippers are being insecure and crappy, but BuckTommy shippers aren’t innocent. Y’all are literally paying Lou to give you gas for the fire, then acting as if Buddie shippers are being rude for no reason. Let’s dial it back and remember this is a tv show, and Buck may not end up with neither Eddie nor Tommy.

[it-happened-one-fic]

Gems - Fortress Maximus

Author Notes: Last fic for today, but I wanted to get the fics I hadn't written for my usual fandoms posted today as a sort of treat for myself. Don't worry, as of next week it'll be back to the usually scheduled fics. I wrote this while listening to "Meet Me in The Wood" by Lord Huron. Reader is human and gender-neutral, I hope you enjoy

Type: Fluff/ platonic or romantic (whichever you prefer)/ gender neutral reader

Word count: 1983

I watched as the familiar but heartbreaking presence of Fortress Maximus passed me by. Finding him on Garrus-9 had both been a relief and a nightmare in the making. 

What Overlord had done was beyond wrong and Max had scars that would last him for a lifetime. That, added to the fact that he’d snapped, hurt Rung, and thus had himself deemed dangerous was more than enough to worsen his view on both life and himself.

 I hadn’t met him till after he’d been found, but even I could tell that what was left now was a mere husk of the mech who’d kept track of all the inmates of Garrus-9. 

I found myself trotting out the door, following the enormous mech that typically avoided me. I was small compared to most Cybertronians to say the least, but compared to him I was downright miniscule. But, despite that, he always seemed to know where I was. Except for this time.

Currently he was so deep in his thoughts and memories that he was oblivious to my presence.

 I couldn’t blame him, though. Receiving news of Overlord was likely beyond horrifying for the gigantic fellow. 

I had to run full-tilt to have any hope of catching up to him before he made it to his berth-room where he would doubtless stew on his trauma and newfound info on Overlord.

 I couldn’t say that Max would seek vengeance. He wasn’t the type to sneak away and go off on a revenge-driven mission. Instead, he was the type to withdraw from all social contact and beat himself up over things that were anything but his fault.

And that was something I couldn’t stand. I hadn’t known Max long, but I could tell he was a gentle soul who avoided me for fear of hurting me. 

Despite Rodimus’s hypothesis that Max was afraid of humans, something told me that he wasn’t. I’d seen his discreet glances and hidden smiles that were directed specifically at me. 

No one else on this ship was as close to the floor as I was, so who else could it be directed at?

I was panting by the time I’d gotten close enough to hope that he would hear my call. Loud to my ears, but probably close to a whisper for him considering the raw distance between me and his helm, “MAX!”

He turned, despite all odds, and his optics immediately landed on me. He looked exhausted, with his expression holding the kind of fatigue that went beyond weariness and delved straight into his innermost core.

What was worse was that he’d looked that way for days. Even Rung had confided in me during lunch that he was very concerned for his patient/friend. 

Max was worse than he’d ever been and something told me it was more than just lack of sleep.

“Max are you…” I struggled to come right out and question his well-being. 

Max didn’t like for others to worry about him. In fact, he avoided attention as much as he could. 

But right now he just stared down at me. Tried but as patient as ever. Making me feel ridiculous for struggling to ask him a very, very simple question.

I sighed, inhaling before coming right out and asking exactly what I’d come to ask, “Are you alright?” 

He blinked at me, having the audacity to look surprised at my concern. Were it anyone else I might have been irritated. But this was Max. He probably didn’t think anyone, much less the lone human on this ship, cared.

“You look exhausted and… Well, I know something is wrong.” 

He snorted, surprising me with the cynical sound, “Isn’t something always wrong around here?” He straightened, optics scanning the hallway like he was making sure no one else was around.

I mean… He wasn’t wrong. This crew had run into one issue after another. “Well, yeah. But this is sort of worse than usual, isn’t it?”

His optics flicked back down to me, a sort of hollowness to his gaze as he uttered two words, “Is it?”

I almost cringed at his question. Because it was definitely worse than usual. Max was never like this.

 “Max… You haven’t been acting right these past few days and I… I’m worried,” I faltered slightly, hardly knowing what to say but also desperate to do something for this gigantic, but uniquely gentle mech.

There was a flatness to his tone when he answered, “I haven’t been ‘right’ since I woke up back on Garrus-9.” 

This time I did cringe. His words were likely true, and it was to be expected. No one could have come out that unchanged.

But at my reaction, the mech’s expression softened slightly and he shook his head, “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault and you’re being very kind. You have been very kind this entire time.”

He sighed, rubbing at his neck awkwardly before gesturing to the door, “Would you like to come in?” 

I barely hid my surprise at his offer. 

Max had been shy at best since coming here and my best attempts at befriending him were usually met with polite refusals. Him inviting me into his berth-room could only mean one thing. He really was upset this time. Upset enough that he couldn’t turn away offers of assistance.

I nodded though, following him into the dark room that soon flickered with cold blue light as the sensors registered our presence. His room was surprisingly bare, there was little in the way of personal items. In fact, if I were to be blunt, it seemed cold and impersonal.

“So… What is this all about Max?” He turned slightly, meeting my eyes with a guarded look. He sighed though, seemingly surrendering to the fact that I was here now, and lowered his servo for me to clamber onto.

He was unfailingly gentle when he held me. In many ways, he seemed to be terrified that he would hurt me even though I knew just from his actions that he’d sooner injure himself. He took slow steps, careful not to jostle me as we moved across the room.

He barely tilted his servo, letting me slide off and onto his berth which he sat down on next to me. “I’ve been thinking about everything that’s happened.”

I nodded at his answer as I settled in for a long talk with him, “Everything that has happened since coming here or…?” I trailed off, not quite willing to bring up that period of his life.

ButI was spared as he glanced sideways at me, knowing exactly what I meant, “Both.”

I hummed, out of my element but determined to try and help Max sort through his current troubles. If I could get him started talking then hopefully Rung could step in and finish up during their appointments. 

“Did the recent…” I paused, searching for the word. Overlord showing up in our basement was bad enough, now he was loose and seemed to still have an obsession with the mech next to me, “The recent information start all of this?”

Max merely snorted and shook his head, “No. This has been coming on for a while. I suppose I’m lost. I don’t know who I am anymore and I can’t go back to the way I was…. Not now.”

That was… A lot more than I had expected. Max was usually so quiet, I’d never thought he’d actually open up. Much less to me.

I hesitantly reached out, cautiously brushing my hand against his servo that rested next to me and he looked down. He wasn’t surprised, just tired looking.

 I offered a weak smile as I did my best to offer advice and comfort, “Change is natural. Everyone goes through change.”

He smiled at me wryly, “You sound like Rung.”

 I snorted despite myself at his words, “Is that a good thing?”

His smile fell and he looked off to the side, “Well… I kind of wanted to talk to you.” I stilled at his words, realizing exactly how stupid I’d been to try and behave like Rung. If he wanted to talk to his therapist he could have. But he hadn’t. He’d invited me into his berth room to talk to me.

I shifted awkwardly, looking away, unsure as to why he would want to talk to me but resolving to do just that and let him talk to me. Because even if it was awkward I could do that for him at the very least.

If I wanted him to tell me about his scars I’d have to share mine. 

“I… uh. I lost track of myself too at one point after coming here.” I was tense as his head swiveled so he could stare at me with wide optics. I couldn’t bring myself to look back at him, instead opting to lift my shoulder in a self-conscious half-shrug. 

“I guess that when I came aboard I hadn’t realized how much my home had been a part of me….” I could feel his silent stare, prodding me to continue so I did, feeling more and more awkward the second.

“Being away from Earth has been difficult and when….” I inhaled, encouraging myself to keep going, “Well… when you lose track of yourself it can’t help but be hard.”

I shook my head, because hard wasn’t the right word. I looked up at him, finally meeting his gaze, “In fact, it's beyond hard. It feels impossible sometimes. You learn things you don’t like about yourself and you want to change but stay the same all at once.”

I felt myself quail slightly under the weight of his stare, “At least… That’s how it’s been for me.” 

His gaze softened and he nodded, “It is.” 

Silence fell after his answer, and I really didn’t know what else to say. I could only hope he’d take the opening I’d given him to talk about his troubles.

He looked away, venting loudly as if he were preparing, “I don’t know if I’m a coward, weak, or a fool.” He looked back towards, sympathetic sadness lingering in his optics, “But I do know I’m not as brave as I thought.”

I felt myself smile slightly, a somber expression, but the best reassurance I could muster in this oddly raw moment. “I think you’re brave. You’ve lasted far longer than I would have under some pretty impossible pressure.”

I hesitated in the face of his slight smile, not sure if I could or should continue. Perhaps my current thoughts would sound stupid. But I forged onwards anyways, keeping a smile on my face as I continued, “You know, back on Earth they say diamonds are formed under pressure and that we see new parts of ourselves when things are at their worst. Maybe that’s what’s happening to us.”

He smiled, a little bigger and a little brighter this time. It made me wonder what he was like before he’d seen hell and came back out. Fire-forged, but scarred and wounded. “Maybe.”

I smiled back at him, feeling a little bit more genuine with this smile before looking away and allowing myself a quiet exhale. 

I was relieved that he seemed to feel a bit better and mortified that I’d shared what made me feel so shallow. I wasn’t the only one away from home after all….

“For what it’s worth,” His words dragged my startled attention back to him. I’d thought he was done…

“I think you’ll make one of the loveliest of all the gems Earth has ever made.'' I blinked up at him and he looked away, coughing slightly into his servo.

 I felt myself smile and nudged his other servo again, immediately gaining his attention, “Thanks Max. But I’m supposed to be comforting you.”

He grinned, a truly genuine one this time, “No reason I can’t do the same for you.”

[fanfic-scribbles]

Dinner Date Chapter 37

Masterlist

<<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>> (in progress)

Overall Story Facts:

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Story Summary: Steve Rogers has a girlfriend. A prickly, generally asocial girlfriend, but they make it work. They have more in common than some people might think.

Quick Facts: Romance – Steve Rogers/Reader – Female Reader

Story Warnings: Reader-insert that verges on OFC, written in 1st person past tense

Chapter 37: Stupidity

Chapter Summary: Sitting still is a unique challenge for Steve. Unfortunately, his patience gets tested in the dumbest of ways.

Chapter Word Count: 4998

A/N: Happy new year~

~

Any sense of peace whittled away over the next couple of weeks. Steve and Fury made nice in an agreement that I couldn’t know the details of, but it wasn’t hard to see Steve breathed easier at whatever it was. That was good.

What wasn’t good was that Steve was left to spin his wheels. Natasha was busy (“She’s looking for…something. Something important. Very important. ���More like–” “Yes Steve, I got it, thanks; now let’s work on your ability to code things before you go look for “something” with her so she doesn’t murder you for being an embarrassment to spies everywhere.”) and Steve was driving himself crazy by having nothing really to do. He was on call for emergencies only, so that when Natasha did get a line, he could drop everything and…go. That was hard to think about, so I didn’t.

However, because we had to be ready for him to go, we were spending all of our time together, to enjoy what we had while we had it. And I did enjoy it– genuinely, I was always glad to spend time with him, and I wanted to soak up this current time together. I didn’t know how long it was going to take him to find his wayward boyfriend, and how often he would be able to come home, and possibly (truly, hopefully,) how much time he would be spending with Bucky when Bucky remembered how much he loved Steve, or, at the very least, how much he wanted to get reacquainted with Steve. There was a lot of maybe, a good amount of positive thought, and an awful lot of dread at every level of Steve’s impending World Roadtrip. So I loved spending time with him and wanted as much of it as I could get.

But fuck; he was starting to drive me crazy too.

“I’ll be right back,” Steve said abruptly and left almost before I could get out a quick goodbye. I looked at the clock– barely an hour after his previous ‘run’– and sighed.

It wasn’t all his fault– I wasn’t exactly full of good cheer either. As a mostly solitary creature, even dating Steve hadn’t prepared me for this much togetherness. Especially this much togetherness while Steve tried not to pace like a caged tiger while he waited for Natasha to bring back a pumpkin of enrichment.

(I made a mental note to tell him that one later. Maybe not the best code phrasing, but he really did have to get better at obfuscating things he wasn’t supposed to tell people about, and workshopping could be a fun couple’s activity. Maybe.)

So, to put it kindly, I was not exactly a bundle of fun either. And while Steve tried a few times to give me some alone time, all I had to do was take a few minutes to think about him sitting sadly alone at home, or walking moodily and alone down a busy street, before I found some excuse to bring him back to me. Errands were nice– he practically leaped at anything with a defined task. I tried to think of things for us to do, which wasn’t hard, considering it wasn’t like New York City lacked places to go. However, crowds were really, really starting to set him on edge, and a few times we had to turn around and go somewhere quieter after just arriving, which made him feel terribly guilty, so I stopped that. I tried to go on a run with him. That ended so badly that when we got home after, he tried to take my nice exercise shoes right to the garbage chute. I stopped him, and instead we started going on regular walks. It wasn’t so bad– I was starting to get used to it, and Steve would rub my legs if they got sore, which was really nice. Sometimes so for the both of us.

It definitely wasn’t all bad. It wasn’t even mostly bad. It was just…like a tiger in a suburban backyard, like a husky stuck in a studio apartment, Steve needed something to do but nothing was hitting the mark. Only one thing could hit the mark, and he was in the wind having his own issues. It sucked, but it sucked for everybody, which was…something?

I sighed and let my head fall back against the couch. Something stupid. Also stupid– my stomach growled, reminding me that neither of us had eaten lunch yet. Steve’s general sense of ‘meh’ extended to a lot of things, including food, but he had to be starving, and since I hadn’t yet gotten out for the day, I started looking up nearby lunch places that hopefully wouldn’t be too crowded. Maybe when Steve got back, we could go, sit outside, and have a tasty lunch. It sounded nice.

~

“That sounds nice.”

Steve seemed a little bit sweaty and a lot more relaxed, and very genuinely pleased by my lunch idea. It actually made me excited enough to punch the air, and he let out a startled laugh. “Are you okay?” he asked, smiling even.

“Enrichment!” was all I could say as I untangled myself from my blanket so I could get off the couch and get ready.

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Do I want to know?” he asked as I scurried past him.

“Probably not,” I said genially as I slid into my room. Maybe I’d show him videos of the tigers and their pumpkins over lunch. He’d probably enjoy that.

The good mood lasted while leaving the house, and even on the walk over. As we perused the menu in person, though, Steve’s lightness began to wane. There were a few more people here than he might have liked, and it was a little disappointing, but I kept one eye on the few tables outside. Maybe it would be better once we got back out in open air. As Steve hunched in though my stomach sank. Fuck, we didn’t have to stay here; we could take the food to the park or something, still have some time out and–

“Someone’s staring.”

I blinked, and parsed that. ‘Oh’ was my initial response– because Steve no longer looked like he was stressing himself out; he just sounded annoyed. Which meant it wasn’t potentially bad staring, just normal ‘Captain America’ staring. I tried to surreptitiously look around, but honestly, Steve was better at spotting these things. And if he said ‘someone’ rather than being specific, he didn’t know who it was– or if he was just being paranoid. Those last three words being his, and not mine. When you were so often stared at it made sense you’d develop a complex about it, but he had yet to be wrong with me.

“Do you wanna go?” I said. “We can find something less crowded maybe and just take it home.”

He shook his head and brushed his hand against mine. He looked at me and softened. “I want to have lunch, and just…relax with you.”

I bobbed my head, because I felt much the same. The tables outside were all spoken for, and while I tried to keep an eye out in case it looked like someone was going to leave, the park idea wasn’t such a bad one, I thought, especially if Steve was going to get interrupted while he ate. Having picked out my meal I tried looking for those cute tiger videos to distract Steve while we waited. It didn’t work as well as it should have. He gave them some half-hearted attention, but he was obviously more interested in trying to find the eyes on him. Which didn’t bode well for ‘relaxing.’ Normally, Steve, even if he didn’t want to interact with fans, was at least able to pull out the barest sliver of feigned politesse. He did not look at all capable of that now, and none of the tables were going to shift any time soon. While he was ordering, his voice strained just trying to be kind, I made the final call.

“Actually, can we get that to go?” I asked at the end. The lady behind the register chirped a polite confirmation and while she finished putting in the order, I looked at Steve, who tilted his head in confusion. “We’re both a little strung out,” I said quietly, counting on having only him hear me under the din of other customers and registers and kitchen call-outs. “So let’s take it over to the park or something.”

He lightened a little bit and nodded. Once we paid, we moved over to the side and he firmly planted himself with his back to the wall, and scanned the restaurant with a hard eye.

I sighed and put my phone away. I thought about just waiting, but it was going to take a bit for them to get our food out, so I tugged on Steve’s sleeve. He looked at me. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom; I’ll be right back,” I said. He nodded, and I slipped away.

~

The bathroom was down a hallway that sort of muffled the noise and activity, which was actually pretty nice; I hadn’t realized how overstimulated I was getting with everything going on, and I took my time to try and come down myself before I went back to Steve.

I exited the bathroom and jerked to a sudden stop at two people just outside. “Oh, sorry,” I said reflexively and stepped back. I waited, but neither one of them shifted to let me pass, or tried to pass themselves. “Um, excuse me.”

They still didn’t move. They looked young– college-age but maybe only just, and they were both actually fairly tall. It made the hall feel smaller, and any calm I had achieved went right away. What a fucking day.

“Are you Captain America’s handler or something?” the girl on the right asked.

My heart rate went up. They didn’t look dangerous. The guy was a little bigger, but naturally so, and she looked fairly normally proportioned. Neither of them held themselves like they thought they were big and tough, but they both stared at me. “Um, no, I’m just his friend,” I said, trying to err on the side of civil even as my hand gripped my phone just in case. “He can handle himself.”

“Huh,” she said, like she wasn’t expecting that. That was a familiar enough reaction, as was the look-over they gave me. “How’d you meet him?”

I just barely resisted rolling my eyes. “I’m not really up for discussing this with strangers right now,” I said, still trying to not be the growling cat I felt like. “Can you please move? I need to get back.”

They exchanged looks. “We were just wondering,” the guy said. Blurted, more like, which actually reassured me a little, even if I was still pissed at him for not moving. “If you wouldn’t mind waiting for just a few minutes? Our friend Jeremy is such a huge fan of Captain America and if he could talk to him for just a little bit…”

I sighed. This was so not the day (week, month, …year…) for this shit, I almost felt bad for the poor guy. But Steve was not in a good way and I wasn’t going to make him do shit. “If Steve wants to, then fine, I won’t pull him away,” I said, very measured and reasonable, I thought. I waited, but they still didn’t move. “Okay?” I said, with a bit more edge.

“Just give them a few minutes alone?” the girl said, and I suddenly, finally, realized that they meant here. Away from Steve.

I felt myself snap like a rubber band. “Okay, I am done trying to be nice. Seriously, fucking move.”

They both looked taken aback, which just pissed me off more. The guy held up his hands and I, done with everything, tried to pull out my phone with shaking hands. “Hey, chill, there’s no need to–”

Someone loomed behind them so immediately they both jerked to look back. I breathed a sigh of relief– but only a partial one. Steve looked pissed. He sized them both up, looked at me, and pushed right past them, making them scramble to merge with the walls lest they get bulldozed.

“Hey, I was just coming back out,” I breathed. Then, whispered so they couldn’t hear: “I’m okay. They’re just idiots.”

His eyes glanced to the side, and he did relax a fraction. He looked at me again, but he didn’t soften at all. “They just called our number,” he said. I nodded and stepped forward. To my surprise, he slid his arm around me, but he kept his body between me and them and, while I didn’t see the look he shot them, I assumed it was fairly withering by the way they blanched. I tried to feel a little bad– they really did seem to just be looking out for their friend– but I hated so much how they went about it I couldn’t muster even the smallest bit of sympathy. And I was just so tired.

Steve couldn’t keep me right next to him when we were in the ordering area, there were just too many people, but he held my wrist and kept a good grip on it while he slid past people to grab our bags of food. A young man brightened when he saw him and Steve gave the quickest nod before steering us outside, and I barely heard a cheerful goodbye before I saw those two kids coming back from the hallway. And then we were out the door.

I took a deep breath and exhaled just as hard. “Let’s take this home,” I said and, damn all of it, wrapped my arms around one of his. He only nodded, and I held on to tensing and untensing muscles the entire walk back.

Once we were inside, we ate. It was…fine. Not worth all the fuss, for sure, and at the end of it, Steve got up to throw the trash out, and then ended up pacing. Again. I let him move for a little bit, before it became obvious he was just working himself up more, and I stood. “Hey,” I said to get his attention. When he looked, I walked forward with open arms. “Come here.”

He hesitated, and obviously waffled over it, but eventually he came close enough that I could wrap my arms around him and hold him tight. He sank against me, slumping slightly, but he kept his arms down.

“I’m sorry, I can’t…” He half-heartedly raised his hands and then dropped them right back down. “I’m afraid to touch you right now.”

“It’s okay,” I said and rubbed his back with one hand, but really, it seemed like squeezing him as hard as I could was doing more to ease him from his razor-wire tension. I kept hugging him in my best imitation of an anaconda until he managed to rest his hands on my hips, though his touch still landed as light as a nervous bird.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “I’m sorry I didn’t say much. I was so angry and I didn’t want to make a fight if they really were just stupid.” He pushed his face hard into the crook of my neck. “So fucking stupid.”

“I was very impressed,” I said. “I almost made it a fight. I was glad you showed up when you did. They weren’t harmful though, just annoying.”

“I got worried,” Steve said. “When you didn’t come back. Lately, I…I’ve been…”

“Yeah,” I said, because I didn’t know how to say it either– ‘high strung’ wasn’t quite accurate and definitely didn’t cover all of it– but I knew what he meant.

He pulled back and let out a heavy sigh. “I think I should go to the gym at the tower,” he said. “I need to punch something that doesn’t look anything like a bunch of dumb kids.”

I nodded. Maybe something Iron Man shaped. Or maybe something less animate would be better now. “Would you like me to go with you, or would you rather go alone?” I asked. His apologetic smile was all the answer I needed. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry I can’t be more…more helpful, you know?”

“No, I’m sorry I’m like this,” he said.

“Well I’m sorrier and I was sorry first,” I said and stuck out my tongue. He reached as if to snatch it and I moved back.

He tried for a smile but as he looked around he was back to Serious Captain Face. “Will you…stay in?” he asked uncertainly. “I just…would feel better if I knew you were safe right now.”

“I’m fine,” I insisted. Then I admitted, “I don’t really feel like going out right now, though, so yeah.”

He let out a little relieved breath. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he promised. He turned to go for the door, but I caught his arm.

“A kiss before you go?” I asked.

He leaned in. He didn’t seem to know where to put his hands, so I gripped his biceps and brought him in. I was just going to go for a little lip-to-lip thing, but when he came in for a kiss, he came in hungry, and I braced myself against him as he tasted me deeply. His hands stayed flat on my upper arms, avoiding any chance at accidentally gripping, so I kept hold of him until he tapered off and, after a few more gentle pecks, he pulled back with a sigh. I put my hand on his cheek, and he put one of his over it so he could turn his head and kiss my palm. “Now that’s a send-off,” he said, with a small but real smile.

“Gotta keep you coming back for more, right?” I said.

He pushed me back against the wall and bent his arms up next to my head as he pressed his nose to mine. “I’ll always come back,” he murmured, and gave me one more soft, slow kiss.

That felt heavier than I wanted it to; an inevitable ‘goodbye’ sitting in my chest like a rock. So I swallowed, and pretended it was nothing different at all. “Go punch sand. Or whatever those bags are made of.”

He smirked, but he pulled back all the way, grabbed his jacket, slipped on his shoes, and left.

I waited until I was sure he was out of the building before I hit the wall hard enough to hurt my hand.

~

I wasn’t sure how much later it was– could have been a couple hours, could have been ten minutes, for all I was able to keep track of time these days– before I received a phone call. From Natasha.

I answered. “God please tell me no one’s in the hospital.”

There was a pause, then a breathy laugh. “I should probably call you more often,” Natasha said, cool and relaxed as ever.

I fell back against the couch and let out a huge sigh. “I’m sorry,” I said. “Hi Natasha.”

“It’s fine. And hi yourself,” she said. “You and Steve had a rough day.”

I brightened at the thought that maybe he got to confide in Natasha. “You guys talked?”

“Mmmmm, not by definition, no,” she said. I heard a little grunt but before I could ask, she let out her own sigh and said, “He was quite…wound up. I invited him to spar. And I’m probably going to be soaking in a hot bath for the next week.”

I winced. “I’m so sorry.”

“I knew what I might be getting into, though even I didn’t expect him to be quite that bad. Something happened,” Natasha said. “He’s sparring with Thor right now, by the way, so we have time.”

I thought about it. But it was Natasha, and maybe she could help if she knew what was going on. “In Steve’s defense, the other guys were assholes,” I said as a preface.

“Mm hm,” Natasha said patiently. “Spill.”

I rolled my eyes, but I did. I tried to be neutral, but at the end she was…worryingly silent. “Natasha?”

“Wow,” she said. “That was incredibly stupid of them.”

“Don’t I fucking know it,” I huffed. “Even if Steve wasn’t in such a…weird mood, it would have been a bullshit thing to pull. But…”

“Honestly, I’m surprised nothing happened. He has much better control than I thought.”

“Control’s the problem. If he doesn’t figure out where he can lose his shit it’s just going to get worse.” I fell back against the couch and sighed. “I never thought I’d say this but I’m looking forward to you digging up Nazis for him to punch and an ex-assassin for him to chase.”

She was silent. She was silent for several seconds. My stomach twisted, but before I could ask her what was wrong, she asked, “Do you really think that will make him feel any better?”

Her voice was easy and measured, but something about it still felt off. Maybe it was the silence from before, but maybe her attention was just wandering, maybe she was just trying to choose her words, maybe…

No. It wasn’t any of that.

“Natasha,” I said, trying not to let a swell of random-ass emotions consume me. “Did you find him?”

“No,” she said so easily.

I felt a pit open in my stomach. “But you found a lead.”

Silence.

It took me a few swallows and several, several breaths to stay calm. This was it? But then why wasn’t she dragging Steve out for the hunting party? “When did you find it?”

Silence again. Then she sighed. “I’ve been keeping tabs,” she said softly. “But…”

“But what? Steve needs this.”

“You don’t know that. He doesn’t even know who he’s going to find on the other end.”

Neither of us knew shit but that didn’t mean Steve didn’t deserve a chance. “None of us know anything; isn’t that what SHIELD is so pressed about? We still need to find out.”

“Sometimes opening a wound like that just lets in infection that never heals quite clean again,” she said.

I got a little…mad. What did she know about it? Except–

Except she knew quite a bit, didn’t she.

“You don’t want to go,” I said as soon as I realized. It wasn’t just familiar for her; now it was raw and fraught and involved someone she cared about, who was going to learn more about her just by association, maybe more than she wanted, because maybe Bucky needed help just like she had once, and– “Nat, you don’t have to go.”

She let out a little puff of air. “I do.”

“No!” I said, feeling angry on her behalf. “Fuck SHIELD and fuck Steve you don’t have to do this.”

She hung up.

I sat there for a few minutes, just holding the phone and feeling like the worst person in the world. Maybe I was. Fuck but I didn’t know how to do anything right; I couldn’t comfort Steve, couldn’t even fix my own bad attitude so I didn’t hurt my friends. I had to fix this, at least try, but I didn’t know how. Or who to ask how. Steve was a mess. She and Sam were friends long before I got dragged in. Clint was probably going to be mad at me by association. I didn’t know how close she and Pepper were but even thinking asking for advice from someone so well put-together made me want to crawl into a hole. When I extended that thought to Phil, it made me think about pulling a rock over that hole and just dying of embarrassment.

I puttered around for a while, feeling sad and angry and miserable, waiting for a good chance to send an apology text to Natasha to hopefully start mending that bridge, when I received a completely different message.

Clint: Hey Clint: I don’t know what you said to Nat but thanks Clint: I’m now invited on the road trip :D

That…wasn’t what I had expected. Was he for real? Or was he being facetious?

It didn’t matter; I probably deserved the latter anyway.

Me: Is she okay? Me: I was an asshole Me: I didn’t mean to be Clint: She’s fine Clint: And she’s not mad Clint: I can’t say what’s going on but it’s…a lot Clint: I meant the thanks Clint: I’m going along as backup. And in case Nat needs to step out Clint: So no harm done ;)

I breathed and practically melted.

Me: Okay. Good. Me: I’m glad you’re going Me: Steve will need someone to read bad jokes at him and I have a 9 to 5 so Clint: I’m your man!

I smiled, and managed to get up the guts to text Natasha.

Me: I’m sorry I was a dick Me: I can’t explain it any better now but I didn’t mean what I said Me: How I said it

I hesitated. I really didn’t know how to explain shit, even though I wanted to.

Natasha: I understand Natasha: But I can’t explain it either. Natasha: I don’t have to go. But I need to. Natasha: But if I need to step away, Clint will be there. Natasha: I mean, can you imagine if I left Steve and Sam unsupervised?

What I’d heard of them both in adrenaline mode made me literally shudder. However.

Me: Not that I doubt your judgment Me: But Me: CLINT is the responsible adult? Natasha: Says something terrifying, doesn’t it?

I grimaced.

Me: Maybe I take it back Me: Drag your feet. Make grooves Natasha: You should be more careful what you wish for Natasha: But putting this off won’t do anything Natasha: For anyone Natasha: So get your time in with Steve while you can Natasha: Because I’m incredibly efficient when I want to be

There was that rock again.

Me: Okay Me: Happy hunting

~

Steve came back that night looking worn the fuck out. He was also oddly cuddly, and he wrapped himself around me like he hadn’t touched me in days, rather than just had one rough afternoon.

“I’m sorry I took so long,” he said. “Thor really put me through the wringer.”

I stroked his hair. “In a good way?”

“Yeah. I feel a lot better,” he admitted.

“Good,” I said and kissed him. I didn’t mention my conversation with Natasha. He’d be hearing about it soon enough. “I’m glad you came back.”

“You are?” he asked, actual surprise lifting his head. I blinked, but he then shook his head and said, “I’m…I know I’m not great company right now.”

“That’s not true,” I said reflexively. I then had to think about it, because I knew Steve would call me on it, but I decided, “Yes. I mean that.”

Steve snorted. “Well that’s convincing.” But he did glance at me like he was seeking a tell.

“I mean it,” I said firmly. “I want to spend time with you. It’s– I do want you to go– not because I want you gone but because I know you need to, but I– I’m going to miss you.”

His mouth twisted in a wry smile. “But it’s a lot of me right now?”

I held open my arms. “It’s not like I’m some super fun party person.” I dropped them. “I just keep thinking of you sitting alone at home in the dark and quiet which yeah I know is ridiculous but–” I stopped as soon as I saw him look shifty. My jaw dropped. “Steve!”

“I don’t sit in the dark!” he said defensively. But he muttered something that was probably ‘mostly,’ and he said, “Sometimes I even turn on the record player.”

“But you are moping alone at home,” I said. He opened his mouth but I sliced my hand in the air and he shut up. “Steve, I get that I’m kind of a bitch right now, but I still want you here as much as you can stand me.”

“You’re not a bitch.” He took my hands. “But I think I am, lately.”

“It’s okay if you are,” I said, and slid my arms around him. He returned the loose hug. “It’s not a bad thing to be a little bitchy from time to time.”

“I don’t like being that way to you,” he said. He sighed heavily. “Or even to dumb kids who don’t think about what they’re doing.” He paused. His mouth thinned to a straight line briefly. “Especially when I might not even get what I want.”

I swallowed hard. “He might come back.”

Steve lifted his head, then shook it slightly. “I don’t necessarily want that. Not if he doesn’t. I just want…closure.” His eyes turned down and away and he just looked so, so tired. “I thought I had it. Then I didn’t. And I don’t know if talking to Bucky will bring it back.” He shut his eyes tight, and this time when he opened them, he looked annoyed. “But I’m going to try because I’m so Goddamned tired of getting weepy about it.”

I let out a surprised laugh. “Oh boy,” I said as I reached up to hold his face. “You know it’s serious when a Catholic boy drops the G.D.”

“Swears are for emphasis,” he said, leaning into the touch.

“Hmm, I’d say for punctuation, but to each their own,” I said.

“Emphatic punctuation maybe,” Steve said and tightened his hold on me.

“Master negotiator.” I hugged him fully, and tried to memorize the feeling of his body pressed tight to mine. I sighed, and let the weird, bad day seep away. “Let’s go to bed.”

“Mmm,” he vocalized, and kept close enough that I knew he wouldn’t let go any time soon. For now, it was enough.

~

<<Previous Chapter Next Chapter>> (in progress)

[amethystina]

I just wanted to say that it was thanks to you that I watched Black Knight, and boy was it worth it! It's such a good drama and your fanfic is so good to read. I love how useless 5-8 is while pining meanwhile Sa Wol is working so hard. It's hilarious. 5-8 doesn't really think about much else and it's so funny.

I'm so glad to hear that! :D I agree — Black Knight is such a good drama! It probably won't change your life, but it's a nice and solid post-apocalyptic story that knows what it wants to do and does it well. So while it didn't do anything groundbreaking, it was still very satisfying to watch. And I just love the world and all the concepts they introduce! It's so interesting!

Yeah, 5-8 truly is such a mess when he pines x'D I mean, I can understand why, though? Some of it is definitely restlessness brought on by PTSD and the fact that his life's mission is suddenly over. Like, he doesn't really know what to do now? Because, tragically, he didn't seem to have much else in his life outside of the rebellion? And so his mind latches on to Sa Wol — in more ways than one — and that ends up being the only thing 5-8 can think about.

Also, I can't deny that I have a fondness for the big and strong tols being so in love with their chosen smols that it makes them actively lose brain cells. And 5-8 fits so very nicely into that trope. 5-8 may not seem to have all that many weaknesses at first glance, but Sa Wol is definitely one of them at this point.

Sa Wol, by comparison, is really doing the most right now, yes. That boy knows exactly what he wants and he's going to pursue it with the stubbornness and fortitude we all know and love. Godspeed, tiny chaos goblin — I'm sure you'll get 5-8 to admit he's in love with you sooner rather than later.

Thank you so much for sending this ask! I admit that I feel very frustrated with how long it has been since I last updated that fic :/ I know it's not my fault (because I certainly didn't ask for the whole burnout thing) but I'm just so eager to keep telling that story. There are so many scenes I look forward to writing! So I'm hoping to be able to write at least one chapter for it after I've finished editing my current project (Marvel this time, because people have been waiting literally six years for this fic). So let's keep our fingers crossed?

Anyway! Thank you so much for telling me! That fandom is so incredibly small and it brings me so much joy to hear that people are reading and enjoying my fic! Thank you 💜

[randomseacucumber]

Wind and Truth reactions: Day 8

Wahoo, Day 8! I'm getting really close to the end. Maybe I'll try to finish the book today? It will depend on how much I enjoy the next part.

Chapter 88

Getting a real sense of doom here

There's definitely a fascinating juxtaposition here when it comes to Jezrien. In this book, we've seen him as a warrior and a leader. And now we're once more seeing how broken he was at the end

Poor Gav. He's literally just a little kid

Okay, this is off-topic, but speaking of Gav, I was thinking more about the fan theory that he's Odium's champion, and I realized that I've been thinking about it too literally. Yeah, if Gav is Odium's champion, he won't be able to fight, because he is a literal child. But that doesn't matter. Dalinar won't be able to kill him. Because that's his grandson

I actually kind of want the good guys to lose, you know? I want to see what happens. I think it would be interesting

Okay, is he going to visit Braize?

Chapter 89

Okay, but the fact that the rubble is literally blocking the character insignias

Oh, this conversation about old laws makes me think about different interpretations of the American Constitution, and how the originalist perspective...(is dragged offstage by armed guards because no one wants to hear me blather on about my weird interests)

Sando killing off Rayse at the end of the last book definitely was a big risk, but it is really beginning to pay off

Chapter 90

I know that this series doesn't really do consecutive character POVs...but damn, I want to see Jasnah's reaction

What the fuck does 'deevy' mean? (After some Googling, it has been revealed that it means 'cool, in a smooth way. Honestly, it's not any stranger than a lot of the slang my brother has had to explain to me over the years)

Yay for Szeth. He's making his own decisions!

Hmm, I'm curious about his oppponent

Oh, it's his sister! Damn

What

Chapter 91

Sad

Curious to see how this plays out...

This is El, right?

Chapter 92

Dundundun

Chapter 93

Oh, the chapter title...

Speaking of Shallan, I actually accidentally saw a spoiler about what happens to her earlier, and I am not happy about it (referring to being spoiled; what happens isn't something to celebrate either, but I'm mostly mad about the spoiler)

Hmm, I wonder what that other reason was (I am 99% percent sure that Chana is Shallan's mother)

Annnd now I'm a 100% sure. Since it was literally just confirmed

Holy shit

Honestly, I love characters that just fucking lie to everyone, including themselves

Chapter 94

That is really fucking creepy

Chapter 95

Adolin :(

I think I've said this before, but I really do like that Adolin is kind of a mentor to Yanagawn

Honestly, poor Szeth is living in a fucking horror story. And he always has been, hasn't he?

I am currently quite sad

Chapter 96

Really, poor Szeth

Oh, the wedding. How bittersweet

Shallan, darling, it isn't really your fault

Chapter 97

Szeth's heart really was in the right place, wasn't it?

Chapter 98

(Cries)

(Cries more)

Ahh!

Interlude 15

Okay. Interludes

Yay, Rysn!

Very interesting. And foreboding

Interlude 16

Please don't

I really enjoyed this section! So many interesting things happened. I think I'll go ahead and dive into the next one, though I don't know if it's feasible to finish the book today. Still, my apologies to those who are still waiting for me to update my longfic WIP for a completely different fandom. I'm going to be pre-occupied for a bit. :)

[sinisxtea]

aprils fools and bloops aside LETS TALK ABOUT THE LUCAS SINGLE EP AND TXT MINI EP ?????

going to talk about the lucas ep bc i’m a bigger nct stan so i feel like this is important to talk about. so this is a long rant i apologize.

disclaimers: this is a rant from someone who’s biggest ult group is wayv (in case you couldn’t tell from the winwin pfp…) so i’m going to try to remain as unbiased as possible and talk on my thoughts of lucas with wayv and lucas without wayv

personally, i’ve never actually cared for lucas. all throughout their songs and all the nct u units with lucas i always questioned lucas’s placement within them. i never liked his singing/rapping style at all. preferred winwin and hendery’s deep voice, and sometimes i would get mad at the line distribution on sm’s end because those two deserved so many more lines than they were getting. i feel like within wayv, hendery, lucas, and winwin’s roles were so blurred and overlapped lucas often over shadowed them because he was considered the center/face of the group. he was definitely popular and charismatic in interviews, and a lot of people knew him after his appearance on running man. now that lucas is no longer with wayv i feel that focus has shifted to ten, which honestly deserved because ten is an all rounder (not a rapper sm please stop making him rap….) i’m honestly really happy with wayv’s currently line up (even though winwin isn’t getting that many lines but agahhshueudghss that’s sm’s fault.)

i won’t talk about the controversy since that’s still a big… situation within the fandom.

(i do not support him btw...................... i pirated the album oops!)

honestly, i’m surprised lucas didn’t leave sm. the whole way they were marketing his comeback made him seem like guilty of his actions. which again i won’t address on, but looking outwards in, it seems like sm is just using him for profit so i feel that all hate directed towards lucas should be directed towards sm instead.

now onto the album!

Renegade: I actually really really like the instrumental. when i listen to a song, i take in fact vocals and instrumental because those are key components to a song. I’ve never practically enjoyed lucas’s voice in any song… but I actually do think he can rap?? at least in this song. it’s a full song so instead of sharing lines with others he does have a chance to showcase his full talent, which i think is what sm was trying to achieve. I can actually find myself listening to this my in my free time because the chorus is so catchy. ignoring the hate and criticism aside, i enjoy “sm core” music and i quite like this one. on terms of his singing ability, nothing stands out to me but again… i’m also here for the music.

Dip it Low: yes i listen to the whole album that’s how i work. I like the funky beat of this one. Lucas’s vocals blends with the instrumental sometimes, so i feel like i’m just listening for the instrumental. “baby girl” is throwing me off so hard.

Crushing on you: very summer core esq vibes. not my cup of tea, only listened to this one once. in all honesty, it seems like this whole album was a marketing ploy to cater to Lucas’s already existing fans who supported him. Which is really shitty on SM’s end, using Lucas, but it’s business I guess.

[andynked]

𝖌𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖙𝖔 𝖐𝖓𝖔𝖜 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖚𝖓.

NAME : Wray NICKNAME : Wray is a nickname 🤫 FACECLAIM : I don't tend to use one. But my avatar is the spotted elephant from Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer. PRONOUNS : she/her HEIGHT : 5'2" BIRTHDAY : November 10th AESTHETIC : Spooky vintage, greyscales OR spooky lisa frank LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO : MAD - TX2 (ft ice nine kills) FAVORITE MUSE (S) YOU’VE WRITTEN : Andrew is so chill and relaxing to write, but I also really enjoyed my OC Bruno and writing Jack Torrance and Negan. Negan was definitely one of my top favorites and I would bring him back but I really don't want to deal with Fandoms... lol GETTING TO KNOW THE ACCOUNT :

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO TAKE ON THIS MUSE : He was a counterpart of Bruno's blog, and I really wanted to create a non-stereotyped Bisexual male muse. That was something that was important to me as a bisexual female (who is much more comfortable writing as male muses) was that he wasn't a stereotype. The idea for him was "the look doesn't match the personality". He's this big burly dude but also a giant nerd and the biggest sweetheart. He was born of wanting to break stereotypes and I love what he has grown in to.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE ASPECTS OF YOUR CURRENT MUSE : How open and accepting he is. He has such an open mind and I like to believe there's next to nothing that you could tell him where he'd shut your muse down. He's always trying to help people and yes this sounds like a cliche and I am aware. HOWEVER, My favorite part of all of this is that it can become a fault. He's too understanding, he's too willing to help, he's too willing to be a people pleaser and it causes issues in his relationships. I love being able to explore those. I love when he's called out on it.

WHAT’S YOUR BIGGEST INSPIRATION WHEN IT COMES TO WRITING : With Andrew, specifically, it's the fact that he's always happy. He has other emotions, of course, but he's an approachable, extroverted person and it makes it easier to start threads and relationships. With past muses, just having them jump into ask memes felt weird because they weren't as bold but having him be personable has impacted my ability to interact. ALSO- when I have tattoo appointments. Very big inspo there but obviously more sparse.

FAVORITE TYPES OF THREADS : I love when he's finally been able to establish deep relationships with people. I love when there's miscommunications or when he's called out on his actions (like I said before). I think he's such a big ball of sunshine that having him get in trouble is a refreshing thing. I also really love when he's met with a tougher muse and they befriend each other.

BIGGEST STRUGGLE IN REGARDS TO YOUR CURRENT MUSE : The fact he has had a charmed and relatively easy life, I feel, makes it hard for him to relate to people. In this way, he does come across as privileged even though he's not rich and has always worked hard. He just never really struggled (other than internally, mentally) and when it comes to interacting with the majority of muses, it can make some conversations difficult.

𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖉 𝖇𝖞: stole it from @t-errifier 𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖌: everyone

[buddiekinard]

Then you need to follow some new people 🫶🏻 I get being sad, I really do, but some people ignored all the clues they gave us that this would be temporary and now they're mad at an actor who had no control over it in the first place. It's horrible to witness. And I know a lot of fans came in for 7x4 and fell in love with tommy, that's fine too, but maybe they should watch the entire show. Because it IS good. And if they still don't care about buck then maybe it isn't for them and they need to move on with tommy/lou. But this hate against a main character who just got his heart broken is super strange

this is a super strange ask to send me, a fan who started watching after bi buck became canon (tho i suppose i did watch the whole show first as did most if not all the people i know btw) and loves tommy/lou/bucktommy and also has made posts about how i think they had a lot of potential to last a long time. i am not gonna unfollow my friends for being sad that something they enjoyed ended in a way that upset them and that way of thinking is honestly hurtful to me, someone who actually is very deeply sad about this happening and disagrees that it was being hinted at all along.

in fact i would argue with 8x05 they specifically wanted us to think they were at least going to be a bit more long term so that the break up was that much more shocking. is was supposed to be shocking and hurtful. that was literally the point.

not to mention i think a lot of us were already in an emotionally fucked up state after election night and looking forward to our favorite show to comfort us after a really fucking shitty couple of days and then got blindsided. this kind of ask is exactly what i mean by gloating and belittling.

i don’t have a lot of opinions about oliver. i don’t think it’s his fault and i think he’s in an odd position of this is his current job so he’s not going to say anything against his bosses and i don’t really expect him to. and also i think he wants buck to make out with many hot people (which feels backsliding to me personally but i digress, it might be fun to watch if they go there, depending on how they use it narratively).

my post is mostly just about me personally being emotionally drained and exhausted about everything and just needing to not really see the negativity right now. I don’t really have a problem with people feeling how they feel after a really fucking emotional week. We’re in fandom because we’re attached emotionally to these characters and relationships. it makes sense we have strong feelings.

[dualisume]

༘ ೀ⋆｡ #Dualisume.   ⸻  a highly selective , && mutuals only rp blog for , Regina of all Waters — Furina De Fontaine !! of Genshin Impact , heavily headcanon && portrayal is inspired by the Biblical Bible && Marie Antionette . — Triggering && Dark themes are present in this blog / Not Spoiler Free ! Read Rules Before Interacting Minors or anyone below 20 don't interact . Personals Don't Reblog

⸻  ༘ ೀ⋆｡ Loved && Cherished by Eri ༘ ೀ⋆｡ ⸻  ( Carrd | Headcanon | Drafts : 5 | Asks : 17 )

༘ ೀ⋆｡ The world is just a stage It's better to laugh than to cry because laughter is of human nature Laugh at it all, don't worry — Let's enjoy today !!

Simplified rules for mobile below the cut!

༘ ೀ⋆｡Mun . Hi , hi!! You can call me Eri ! I've been rping for so long that I couldn't remember when i started but i do know i used to rp in GAIA online , I've been rping in Genshin fandom since version 1.0 so haha i've been around so long orz , also english is not my first language in fact it's the third one i learned , so I'm sorry if my English sometimes sucks or not deep.. what else? I love cats, frogs & dogs -- also my pronouns are whatever you feel like && I'm also 26 years of age

༘ ೀ⋆｡ Selectivity . I'm very selective due to the reason that i get easily overwhelmed when there's a lot of things going on in my dashboard , I wanted it to be clean && not filled with untrimmed posts, too much ooc post , etc -- ( sorry! ) also i only follow the blogs I'm certain I'm going to write with && i'd like to keep things like that. Regarding to OCs , i will follow you -- once i read all your about > . < , I love your OCs i really want to write with you but due to my hectic schedule && ADHD , i always forgot to read some , so it is my fault why i got no time -- I'm really sorry. I wont follow you if you're below 20 + && ships incest , pedophile ships.

༘ ೀ⋆｡ Activity . I work as a fulltime artist/designer so i have always free access to Tumblr ( except going home / to work ) but this doesn't mean my whole life revolves in tumblr. I also have hobbies && life outside tumblr -- so even if I'm always online here doesn't mean I'll reply to you immediately . Please understand that thank you!!

༘ ೀ⋆｡ Shipping. Furina is currently a mess of a character in her way to figure who she really is a person , so shipping --- is a bit hard with furina, since she will question a lot of things but , but , but! I adore shipping & would love to slowly build a relationship with anyone -- as long as the character is of age , i also do shipping only when there's a lot of amount of interaction between our muses , so it feels more natural

༘ ೀ⋆｡ Triggers. Hi please tag if you're ganna post Dolls or Spiders, i don't like them --- they scare me thanks.

༘ ೀ⋆｡ Headcanon & Graphics Anything you see in here is made by me, unless i specified that it isn't . My headcanons, graphics & arts are something i worked really hard on, so please don't steal them . I appreciate it!

[ultfreakme]

I mean no offense by this, but there is no need to bash on my boy Chris just because. I care about him. And I'm not even salty about Jon's age up. Matter of fact, the age up is the best thing to happen to his character. He is way better as an adult in my opinion. Before that he was just Clois' Cute Kid with a cute kid personality, but nothing special.

And no, Chris isn't better as Lor Zod. Clark adopting him and doing for a kid what his folks did for him when he crashed no Earth is way better than Zod being a bad father and Chris growing up with some of the worst people in the Galaxy. But to each their own I guess. Just no need to trash on one character to uplift another.

I wasn't bashing Chris as a character, I was just genuinely under the belief no one could give that much care for a character whose appearances were so few and characterization so sparse, especially as Clois's son. This was Geoff Johns' fault for not delivering on the themes you brought up. But you're right, to each their own, and the themes that were at least attempted at being explored were pretty good. I think you'd enjoy Warworld Saga a lot if you like the theme of Clark adopting new children and the idea of breaking abuse cycles!

I personally like Chris as Lor Zod better because the abuse in the Chris arc, for me at least, was under-explored and made no sense for Zod & Ursa's characters (not that i think they won't be abusive, just that how it was written made no sense).

I'm a more recent reader for comics so the recent Zod things I read were the Bendis run where the Zod fam was going at it against the Kent-Lane Kryptonian fam, and Kneel Before Zod. Lor Zod is still an abused child, he's the same age as 'Chris' was when he was sent to earth before, but Lor's abuse is far more sinister, defined, and in-character for Zod & Ursa.

We are told Chris was abused. But why? Zod and Ursa being the bad guys isn't enough of an explanation, & if Geoff Johns seriously wanted to explore this topic, he should've invested more emotional effort. ZodUrsa went to great lengths to concieve Lor, why on earth would they abuse him in a way that made Chris just hate them? Without any specified purpose? He was their only shot for all they knew, why did he not tell Clark about Zod? Why did they jsut never discuss anything? Clark can detect lies so if Chris was told to lie to Clark about his parents being ZodUrsa, why didn't Clark call it out?

Lor's abuse is specific, it makes sense for Zod and Ursa as characters, and it definitely has an impact on how Lor acts. Lor is their weapon, their heir, the future ruler of the Krypton they envision. He is therefore made into a person with no empathy for others, the perfect weapon meant to lead New Krypton. But he is still an abused child who wants love from his parents. Currently, he's realized Zod and Ursa genuinely don't care about him as their child, and they banished him for questioning Zod's authority. Lor at least, has more agency from what I've seen. He lashes out, he is unpleasant, he is still a child who wants to just be, loved. He feels more compelling to me because Lor isn't a perfect victim, far from it.

And abused kids can have agency, which Chris just, did not seem to have at all in the Action run I read. Otho and Osul are characters in their own right despite the abuse they suffered, and the dehumanization. I think Geoff Johns fumbled writing Chris, but I'm glad the fandom seems to have found his story compelling nonetheless! Sorry fi my post came off like I had some grudge against Chris specifically, it was more about how people react to Jon's age-up.

Hope you have a nice day.

[acourtofthought]

I was pretty indifferent toward Elain’s character and then at some point the ship wars made me a bit annoyed of her (not the characters fault) which was crazy bc I never truly disliked her. But I still felt like I didn’t know her no matter how much ppl explained her character. So… after having a good mental break from the internet I came back to see if anyone could analyze her character in a way that made sense to me & wasn’t repetitive or preachy. I just… didn’t want fandom nonsense to affect how I felt about a character, esp one who I knew nothing about (and when it’s regarding a ship bc that’s just worse, not to mention v silly!)

Anyway, I came across your blog (and other eluciens) and it has helped me see her character in a way that might not be so easy to notice at first, esp for casual readers (formerly me). It felt like I only ever saw one explanation for why she behaves/reacts a certain way but your blog gives a very diff perspective and I love that bc I couldn’t see it at first. If only I’d ventured out of my gwynriel blogs into elucien blogs back then! I wouldn’t call myself a “Stan” but I do like her very much! And it’s gotten to the point where I now get annoyed when ppl make the same claims about her that i used to think, or they say what’s been said about her for forever. In my head I’m like, “but you don’t know the half of it!” Also, not to mention the fact that it is 100% true that female characters have to “work” a lot harder to be forgiven for even the smallest things and that is absolutely not okay. And idc if it’s a female character (in general) I don’t really like— i still wouldn’t be okay with that.

I’d say biggest thing I got out of your blog (and others) is that I gained a certain amnt of respect for her. And i kno it will only go up for me when her book is out. That was honestly prolly my biggest struggle with her character in the beginning. Her being quiet or enjoying gardening wasn’t a problem to me (although I did wish she’d speak her mind every once in awhile). It was more like.. “Idk what I can respect about her, at least not yet” esp with the comparisons to gwyn. But this is absolutely NOT true for me anymore. I’m finally able to see her outer AND INNER beauty!

I’m so glad though that now I can love both ladies without feeling like they’re up against each other. So thank you!!

Btw the more I think about it the more I’m like.. she reminds me a bit of Penelope from Bridgerton (who I love) so I’m very interested to see her character arc!

Sending lots of love 🫶

Thank you for this message!!! ❤️

It's one of my favorite things to hear, that people that were really not fans of Elain's have come around to her a bit after something I or others might have said.

She's definitely not been as bold as the other FMC SJM has written about and if you like SJMs books, I can understand how that'll turn some people off.

And while she'll never be 100% like Feyre or Nesta or Aelin, you see the little hints that she's already much more than she currently looks to be in the NC.

And I think that's the issue I have with how some view Elain. To them, the thing that makes her happiest is to be gardening and cooking / baking / serving the IC. Where her purpose is to spend her days reassuring Azriel that he's not a big bad man, that he just needs a little love to be the soft gentle boy she knows him as.

And that Elain is horrific to me. I don't read SJM to read about a heroine who's purpose revolves around being a housewife to the male.

There is NOTHING wrong with being a housewife but I'm realistic about what fantasy books with a female POV are about and that's not the point of these kinds of story's. I want to see her grow and become a force to be reckoned with. I don't want her to take a backseat to Azriel, there to make him feel worthy and to tag along for his spy / torture sessions when we get zero hints that's what she wants.

Time will tell but I really hope SJM proves to E/riels that Elain is more than a character used to serve others. A character deserving to have a greater purpose than spending her days reassuring Az over and over that he's not a big bad male whose touch will taint her "immaculate skin". A character deserving of her journey to be told on page and not something that's apparently happened in someone else's book (friends already found, already in love).

[leoleolovesdc]

I was gonna js comment but this got long so let’s start:

Barbara is Cass’s mother figure. They’re not sisters, they’re not friends, they’re mother and daughter. Cass herself has said so. Babs takes care of Cass, fights with Bruce about what should be better for her well being, etc. She’s a child of divorce at her core even though her parents (Bruce and Babs) were never married.

Portraying Dick as sunshine boy or smug cop are both wrong. He’s a human being and all the extremes are just awlful writing. He’s not a overly sexual womanizer (he barely even cares about sex at all) but he’s also not a prude. He’s not a perfect person but he’s also the example of hero community. There are characters that you can’t just put into a singke label and doing it just ruins any depth he may have had in the past.

Damian only works as a kid character, making him grow up and especially that fast was a mistake. His behavior can be excused as a child, he’s a kid, he’s still learning, he grew up in a utopia with people telling him he was gonna be a leader when he grew up, but keeping this attitude up as a teen or adult makes him insufferable. Also, his backstory sucks, the only good things were stolen from Cass and it just makes absolutely no sense.

Tim is a very bland and nothing character. He was created to be relatable so he has basically no personality and can be written however one likes, which makes him very hard to enjoy. You may read current Tim comic and he is the smartest goodest bestest boy alive! You read a Red Robin comic and he’s a fucking suicidal lunatic. You read a og 90s comic and he’s literally just a smug-ish but over all nice teen boy. You can’t track down Tim’s personality because he has no personality. He’s been everything which ultimately makes him nothing.

Barbara is not nice. I can’t stress this enough, she’s mean, making her a nicey goody two shoes doesn’t work. Let my girl be mean again. She’s bad at communicating, she wasn’t that good of a mother to Cass (though she did have good intentions), neglected Stephanie’s feelings and obvious need of training and support and though always calling Bruce out on his bullshit sucked at acually trying to help the people that he hurt. She’s a overworked and very traumatized person with a lot of issues, everything that goes wrong is always dumped on her, she makes mistakes, she treats people badly and that’s okay, that doesn’t make her a bad person, just a normal one.

Bette Kane and the Fab Five are Dick’s original childhood friends. It was a huge mistake to try to change it to Babs or the New Teen Titans when they only met him way later in life. Actually, now that I mentioned it, Barbara was supposed to be in between Dick and Bruce’s age, even when they got together for the first time there was some big age gap. She was never supposed to be his age.

The batfam girls are literally so much more enjoyable than the guys. I don’t hate the “batboys” (even though I hate this nickname💀💀) but the girls are just way cooler and more interesting characters.

Talia’s character assassination is pretty much Damian’s fault. If he had never existed (or at least made canon) Morrison would have no reason to write her as badly as they did. The rape was a excuse to make sure that Bruce wouldn’t know Damian existed and the abuse just created to give him a tragic backstory of some sort (which, as I mentioned, was just a worse version of Cass’ backstory).

Steph Brown is one of the best characters in the fam and deserves more love from the fandom and writers. She’s much more interesting than many of the “main” boys and the fact that her feelings and opinions are never explored is just a crime.

Bruce being broody, mean and overly serious doesn’t work that well for his character. Batman was created as a smug bitch who made fun of his enemies and always tried enjoying at the job. Of course he took it seriously, but when the threat was small he was alright with quipping and having fun with Dick. Literally just let the man smile, he used to be such a goof and it was one of his best encarnations. However, being funny sometimes doesn’t change the fact that Bruce was ALWAYS bad at communicating. He wasn’t always a bad father but very bad at talking to people, yes. He didn’t inform Dick of things properly and often caused misunderstandings that made him upset, but that’s it. No hitting, no unnecessary meanness. He cares abot his family more than about his own life and would never hurt them on purpose.

There’s not a problem with having a lot of batfamily members as long as you write them all properly and don’t sideline anyone (which seems to be a unknown concept to DC, so yeah).

Bruce would still be Batman if his parents hadn’t died. This has been explored in some older comics, but prettt much forgotten nowadays. Bruce is empathetic at his nature. He loves Gotham and proteting her, if his parents survived the incident he would still get shocked by the violence and work to become someone who is able to stop it.

Stephanie saw Bruce as a parent figure and that’s why their relationship was so convoluted. Steph has a history with trying to find men to somehow replace her father as actually good role models (read Secret Origins and you’ll see a bit of that) and she saw Bruce as a safe guy. He has adopted and cared for children before, he’s a hero, he fights crime, he’s the exact opposite of Arthur and seemed to respect her (at least in their first interactions), but that was the worst scenarion possible for Bruce, who (canonically) saw too much of Jason on Stephanie and got afraid that if he let her in, trained her, grew attatched to her she’d just die like Jason and he couldn’t deal with loosing another child, so he preferred to just pretend that he was not important to her, even though he very much was and now their relationship is a hot mess because of that.

Thomas Wayne was probably not a very good father. We know little about him but the few comics which flesh out his relationship with Bruce usually portray him as neglectful or even abusive.

Cass either communicating via ASL or normal english are both pretty stupid. She probably understand those languages (mixing a bit with understanding what people mean via context and body language) but speaking them should be weird and hard for her. I personally would write Cass as having her own “language”. Ways in which she figured out how to communicate properly without using words or languages. That could include gestures, signals and obviously a few words here and there. She can learn to speak I just think that shouldn’t be her main way of communication.

Bruce isn’t distant from people because of his trauma (though that did help) he has always been described as a introverted, shy and friendless child. With time he did learn to be more open and even to play people with his Brucie Wayne persona, but he’s just bad at relationships, that wouldn’t be changed by circumstances.

Tim and Jason having a good relationship is some insane levels of bullshit. They would have never gotten along, writers and fans should leave it at that. Jason tried to kill Tim and Tim was shit talking recently deceased Robin!Jason Todd from day one. It’s way funnier to build a dynamic around them bickering and hating each other’s guts than having a meh relationship that makes zero sense with any tiny bitsy of context.

Somethings in comics should just be ignored, retconned or changed. Sometimes stuff is written by people who have personal biases on a character or situation and doesn’t actually make sense within the narrative (cough, cough, Morrison about Talia), however there’s stuff that also feels patronizing to disregard. For example; Stephanie died and that has never been adressed after her return. Like, yeah, it was shit that she was killed off by sexist writers who hated her on the first place but now we should get to at least talk about it???

Jason Todd’s return and motivation makes zero sense. Bruce doesn’t kill, Jason knows that. He has the right to be pissed off about it, of course he has, but trying to force Bruce to kill Joker is just bullshit. You want your revenge? Do it, Batman walked off, he is letting you do it, but no, he wants his father who is very known for not crossing that one line to be a murderer after already traumatizing and injuring the old man multiple times. At this point their relationship is just pathetic. Get over it, bro, you should’ve known from the start that you weren’t gonna get what you wanted.

I guess that’s it, I could say more but I’m too lazy to keep going💀💀

What's your batfam hot take that will land you like this?

[blakesuga]

Big Things: Otaku Conventions

Personally, I have never been to an anime convention before. I know they are a staple in anime and manga fandoms alike, but I was never really interested in going to one for a few reasons. One reason was when I first started to watch anime it was in 2020, and I am not sure if you all are aware, but a little virus known as Coronavirus-19 was pretty big back then. Everything was on lockdown and there was minimal fan gathering movement that these people who usually held the conventions can do. Due to this, I was never able to learn about these conventions and how people enjoyed participating in them. Another reason was that I was going through a difficult time in my life that left me jaded enough to not care for these events since I was more prone to feel isolated if I saw other people enjoying themselves without a hint of worry (depressing I know but I am doing better now). Currently, however, after watching the documentary, I now know how amazing and inviting anime conventions can be. The cosplay, the voice actor panels, and countless vendors selling hand-made goods took time and dedication that was shown in the otaku documentary and had me question why I had never gone to one before. Two reasons for this are probably…well…money and time, but other than that, why not?

In the documentary, the reporter walked around asking attendees what made them want to attend anime conventions and even dedicate their time to cosplaying, and many people exclaimed how they wanted to be seen for their interests. They wanted to engage in a community that encouraged their interests and, in fact, fan them even more by constantly engaging in creating pieces of fan art, recreating iconic costumes worn by popular anime characters, creating fan theories about different storylines, and more. In the case of cosplayers specifically, I remember there was an attendee of an anime convention who mentioned that if she were to dress up as an anime character and walk down a street, she would be considered as weird by those who see her. She would have been mocked and her sanity would be questioned since it is not really common that people would walk down a street looking like they just hopped out of an anime series. But when she is at a convention? No one bats an eye to the way she looks. Even more so, if she was wearing an impressive cosplay costume then she would be praised for her fashion and encouraged to keep practicing her craft. This is what anime otakus crave - acceptance acceptance in a community. They don't want to be chastised for their hobbies (I mean who would?), it is not their fault that anime was not popular at that time (compared to now) and relatively unheard of. That would not stop them from creating their own gathering places and activities. The otaku communities would hold their own conventions like the one in the documentary, Anime Expo, ComicCon, etc for all otakus, by otakus.

I admire them since they are so passionate about their favorite stories and characters, so much so that I now want to attend one. I learned through other blog posts and UF forums that UF holds its own smaller-scale anime convention known as SwampCon in the spring. I am planning on attending just as a spectator since I want to get a taste of what an anime convention is all about. Plus, it would be a good starting point and a good gage on whether I would want to attend a bigger anime convention in the future.