#in defense of fanfic
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Sometimes porn exists just to be porn. Smut for smut's sake is perfectly fine, actually, and does not need to be a character study. Sometimes you just wanna write/read some pretty fucker getting railed/doing the railing. That's fine and good!
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Didn’t discover fanfic till my late 30’s, fell in love with AO3, and it is now my second stop after any movie that I love (first stop is IMDB to check out the trivia) and my first stop after finding a new series I enjoy (once I am caught up on all episodes to avoid spoilers.)
I should probably mention that I am an English teacher, so I spend a lot of time reading various things. And when I talk about reading fanfic, people tend to question me about why I read it, so I’ve given some thought to it. And I’ve come to the conclusion that what I tend to enjoy most in stories, no matter what format those stories are in, is finding characters I can fall in love with. And for me, at least, once I fall in love with a character, I want to know what happens next with them! I want to see their story go on and on and on. When I was a kid, I would love it when I would find an author who had written a series with the same main characters that I could just keep going and going and going with their story. As an adult, I found Nora Roberts to be one of my favorite romance writers, because she would do all these trilogies where the characters I met in the first book, I could see their happy ending continued in books two and three.
And this is what fanfic gives me. A chance to continue to see the characters I love in new stories and new situations. That’s why I keep reading fanfic and that has nothing to do with age at all!
Reblog if you’re over 20 and still read/write fan fiction.
I’m curious!
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wtf do people without fandoms do with their life? like actually what do you do when you don’t have something to dangerously obsess over. the last time i wasn’t a part of a fandom was in fourth grade.
#what do you do#fandom#fanart#fanfic#fantasy#pjo series#pjo#pjo tv show#percy series#percy jackon and the olympians#the lunar chronicles#the rampion crew#across the spiderverse#the hunger games#aaron warner#shatter me#hazbin hotel#avatar the last airbender#percy and annabeth#annabeth chase#books#peeta mellark#katara defense squad#katniss everdeen#prince kai#katara#kenji kishimoto#harry potter#mauraders#divergent
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Part One / Part Two / Part Three (You Are Here)
Complete Thing on A03
Sure enough, Jason Carver had brought a priest.
The idiot himself stood next to the guy, smugly grinning like a hunter posing with his prized buck, a small crowd already gathering.
Opposing them was Michael Wheeler, hands planted on Hellfire’s table and back up like a pissed off cat’s, mouth moving faster than Eddie thought possible.
He couldn’t hear what Wheeler was saying.
Frankly did not want to know what Wheeler was saying, and could only do his damndest to intervene before Mike tanked the situation entirely.
Gareth and Jeff flanked him, both tense as hell. Neither had backed down though, standing tall and holding ground even as Jason pulled more and more people into his little spectacle.
Lucas and Grant on the other hand, were standing off to the side.
They weren’t cowering exactly, but both were definitely wincing as Gareth opened his mouth to add his own two cents.
Given the scowl on the priest, it was probably something nasty,
‘Fuck.’ Eddie thought, teeth clenched, as Jason drew out his arms, making an even bigger production for his little audience. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck!’
The worst thing of all?
Dustin managed to reach the group before anyone else did.
Wheeler and Emerson might have low charisma, but Dustin had a particular combination of snark and a know-it-all attitude that really pissed off authority figures.
(And Eddie would know, given he was the reigning champion of pissing off authority figures.)
He did, however, slide in right in time to hear the priest respond.
“I don’t care for your tone, young man. Jason here has some concerns over your club and I have to agree, what I see is quite,” The guy paused, jowls jiggling as he looked over their table, clearly eyeing Hellfire’s logo. “alarming.”
At least wasn’t an actual sermon.
Not yet, anyway.
Eddie came up right inbetween Mike and Dustin, intending to make himself out to be the new target for all to aim at.
There was an art to making yourself the sole owner of everything evil in this world, and Eddie had learned it all, trial by fire style.
“Carver is full of--” Mike snarled, and thankfully was cut off—not by Eddie, or the hand he’d just clamped onto Mike’s shoulder—but by Harrington.
Who sauntered right up as if he was joining everyone for dinner, and not walking into a circus act.
“Hello Father.” Harrington said, voice warm and welcoming. “Would you like some of our cookies? We have a sample platter.”
“Oh--Steve!” The priest blinked, actually blinked, that he was startled to see Hawkins’ golden boy appear next to him. “I’m sorry but no. I’m ah, here for other reasons.”
He paused so long it was nearly comedic before tentatively asking; “ Are you with this table?”
Like the guy couldn’t see the same Hellfire logo plastered across Steve’s ridiculous jock chest.
Eddie opened his mouth to give a resounding no, Hellfire shirt or not--when Mike of all people put an elbow into his side.
As if Eddie was the one who needed to be silenced.
“I am.” Steve put an arm down on Dustin’s shoulder, squeezing it in a way that looked like fond encouragement (but what Eddie was pretty sure was actually a warning in the same way the hand on Mike’s shoulder was.) “I came to help out my friends and fundraise.”
Then he beamed, face lighting up with the full Harrington charm, giga watt smile and all.
Now the priest just looked awkward.
“You’ve apparently been fundraising for what I have been told is a…Satanist Club?”
It was hilariously delicate, how the priest said it. Like now that a respectable member of Hawkins was here, he had to be more careful about what words he used.
Eddie would have interrupted then. Retake the reins and do what he did best in terms of making everyone forget about everything but him--except Carver was rounding on Harrington, and well.
He was always a fan of the rich eating each other.
“You cannot seriously be with these--these,” Jason’s eyes darted to between him and the priest, before physically reigning himself in. “hooligans, Harrington!”
“I’m sorry.” Harrington said, and whatever Jason had been expecting to get hit with, it wasn’t “good ol’ boy” southern charm.
He blinked, taking on the air of a kicked puppy who couldn’t understand why someone would be so mean as he glanced around the crowd. “I think I'm a little lost here.”
Jason clearly wasn’t prepared for that either.
“What?”
“This table is for a storytelling and math game.” Steve spoke slowly, in the same way one explained things to a toddler. “You have to roll dice and add the numbers up to do anything."
“It’s not a game, Steve.” Jason spat back. “It’s an evil trick made to tempt the susceptible minds of children to the dark arts!”
Personally, Eddie was amazed Carver even knew the word susceptible let alone be able to properly use it in a sentence.
(He tried to open his mouth to say so, and once again got elbowed, this time by Gareth.
The look he gave his younger friend could have melted steel beams.)
“That’s what this is about?” Harrington slid his arm off Dustin's shoulders, leaning back to look at the priest and the people around them in a show of blatant disbelief. “You think the nerd club is related to satanism?”
It was Eddie's own tactic--arguing that D&D was “using academic skills” and “making math fun!" not that Hellfire had ever been successful using it.
Of course, they weren’t Hawkins golden boy either.
Jason sputtered.
“It has monsters and--demons in it! It makes children do spells and sign over their souls!” He flung a hand out, for the first time acknowledging Eddie by pointing at his shirt. “Just look at that! It’s awful!”
"Hey." Eddie said, hand going over his very well drawn dragon.
“I once had to stop an argument about how much weight a wooden bridge could hold.” Steve countered, hands moving to his hips. “I only got them to stop by agreeing to take the kids to a library so they could look it up.”
He squinted, in Carver's direction, deadpanning; "I take it you think the library is evil now too?"
“The name of the club is called Hellfire!” Jason shrieked, sounding more like an angry teakettle than anything dangerous.
“Look I get that it sounds scary,” Steve said, the tiniest hint of pity entering his voice, “but they’re trying to make math problems and English essays sound cool. It’s the same reason Father John here calls our annual haunted house Hell House, isn’t it? So people go in it to begin with?”
Harrington turned to look expectantly at the priest, and Eddie had to admit it was an excellent way to both pander to the guy and sound like Jason was making a big deal out of nothing.
Perhaps, he’d stay quiet after all.
(Even if it went against Eddie’s entire being to do so.)
“Well, yes, but--” Father John had clearly picked up on the fact he was losing this particular argument, but plowed forward regardless. “Those activities are supervised by the church…”
“This is evil Harrington, and you should know better to promote it.” Carver tacked on, like this was a two bit comedy sketch.
“When I played it we just saved some poor town from a bad guy who set it on fire.” Steve rolled his eyes.
Then he leaned in, converting his voice into a stage whisper that somehow projected it, giving the impression that everyone around them was listening in on a secret.
“The doctor said it was a really good way for Dustin and Erica to process the mall fire. He’s a specialist--my mother managed to convince him to fly down to help all the kids who got hurt.”
Eddie was 100% sure that was total bullshit, but the mere mention of Harrington's mother had seemed to have an effect on the people around them.
Like Steve had invoked the name of an old but beloved God, not always benevolent but definitely memorable.
“She’s always been a champion of helping when you can.” Steve spoke to the priest, like they were having a conversation between just the two of them. “Encouraging people to volunteer and helping fundraise.”
“She has been." Father John said, in the kind of instant way one does when they don’t want to offend a very large donor. "Tell your mom I look forward to her coming back from her--ah, trip.”
With an awkward glance to the table, he added; “...I suppose I don’t see how math comes into play?”
“Oh it’s right from the start. Hey Jeff, come here, show Father John how you have to do a bunch of calculations and stuff to make a character.”
“Ah--right.” Jeff sprung to life, moving around the table to Steve.
“We uh, we start with this character sheet…”
“Eddie Munson runs the club.” Jason interrupted, before Steve could get Jeff to going.
“He’s right there! Does he look like this whole thing is just an innocent board game?”
This was a last ditch effort, and it was clear by the chattering that had started circling amongst their audience that everyone knew it.
Unfortunately, it was a good one.
This was the downside to making yourself a target. Once a bad guy, always a bad guy--particularly in the eyes of the PTA.
“Munson?” Harrington dismissed with a scoff. “He’s harmless.”
Which was news to most of their audience given the amount of attention Eddie suddenly had on him, but it was fine.
He was used to the disapproving stares and glares, and gave his best award winning smile in response.
Jason looked at Harrington like he’d lost his mind.
“He has skulls on his fingers for fucks sake!”
“Jason.” Steve admonished, in a perfect mimic of an upset southern mother. “Language.”
Carver's jaw dropped, face purpling in rage.
Steve ignored him, turning back to the Priest. “I don’t know what's gotten into him but I’m sorry Jason’s wasted your time, Father.”
“Munson is a drug dealer!” And ah, here came the Hail Mary move, Carver's one and only trump card.
“We all know he’s a drug dealer, and he’s using this--this game, to give drugs to kids!”
“Really?” Steve turned. “Lucas, what happens if I ever catch you smoking weed?”
Lucas answered instantly. “You’re going to make us run laps at five in the morning.”
“For a month.” Dustin added, with an exaggerated shudder.
It would have been too much--except his disgusted face sold it.
“Eddie’s just loud and wants to be a rockstar.” Harrington said, like this he was harmless.
No one on Steve's side of things had ever thought of Eddie as harmless.
“I’ve babysat these kids for years and Eddie was a huge help in making sure no one in high school messed with them.” He continued, like they were some sort of team or friends even.
(Like Eddie hadn't been at Harrington's throat all day, pissy and defensive.)
“We have a real bullying problem right now. Funny enough,” Steve’s nailed Jason with a look, “I keep hearing that it’s coming from the basketball team.”
“What are you implying?” Jason asked darkly.
“Just that it’s funny how nobody got caught fighting when I was team captain.” Steve returned.
God the man was such a bitch. Eddie kind of wanted to kiss him a little.
Okay, more than a little.
“I get you have some kind of beef with Munson, but let’s not drag a bunch of people into it. Especially not Father John.” Harrington was playing up to the mothers around him now, dismissing Carver entirely as he did so. “He’s a busy guy.”
“Very.” Said Father nodded solemnly. “I do not appreciate being pulled into a high school squabble.”
Jason’s mouth swam through shapes, words stuttering out of it. “This isn’t, thats not--”
“We can talk about this after church on Sunday.” Father John interrupted, the finishing blow to Carver's little show.
“You came all this way, at least have a cookie on us.” Steve said with an appeasing tone, reaching an arm back behind him.
Quick on the uptake, a cookie appeared in his hands.
He offered it out to the priest, who took it happily.
"Okay, who wants cake!?” He called, in a clear and obvious dismissal of Jason.
Who stood there, like he couldn’t believe what just happened.
His eyes slid to Eddie's, fists clenched tightly at his side, hatred pouring off him so strongly one could almost taste it.
Eddie winked at him.
(Unknown to him at the time, Jason had also looked at Steve--and Steve would wink too.)
xXx
Steve Harrington, who Eddie had been an absolute ass all day too, had looked Jason Carver, a Priest and half of Hawkins in the eye and announced that he, Eddie Munson, was a good person at heart.
It made Eddie want to vomit a little when he thought about it too hard.
“I know this is horrible timing,” Robin said, sidling up as the crowd finally dispersed, “but I really, really need to talk to you.”
Eddie turned, head full of far too many thoughts and ready to tell her such, when he caught sight of Buckley's face.
Was reminded, by the sheer nervous, ‘horse about to bolt’ vibe, that he owed it to Robin as a fellow queer not to be a dick about her accidental outing.
Even if all he wanted was to preen in the wake of Carver’s defeat.
‘See Mothers of Hawkins? Your own golden boy just gave me his stamp of approval!’
A mental image that immediately changed to Steve Harrington’s name stamped on his ass and dammit he had to get ahold of his thoughts before he fell down rabbit holes like this--!
“Back there, at the stairs,” Robin started, voice dropping low, and Eddie didn’t miss the way her eyes kept seeking out Steve, like he was some kind of safety net--which he probably was. “What um--what did you hear?”
It took a lot of guts to come talk to him, knowing what he'd overheard--particularly given they'd just fended off the church.
He'd never exactly underestimated Robin Buckley, but then, he'd never expected this level of badassery from her either.
“Eddie?” Robin prodded again, chewing hard on her bottom lip.
“Sorry, distracted.” Eddie waved a hand behind himself. “Not everyday the King decides to defend your honor to a priest.”
With a little bow, he offered his elbow out to her, a clear signal to take it and let him escort them away from unwanted ears.
In a show of bravery, Robin took his elbow and let him lead, even as she frowned up at him, looking like she was about to say something.
Likely it was in defense of Harrington, but Eddie had been interrupted enough for one day.
“You and His Highness over there really should be more aware of your surroundings." He started, voice low. "Lucky for you, you’re among friends. You and Dorothy both.”
He reached a foot out, tapping Robin’s own.
Right on top of a doodled pair of tits.
Robin let go of his elbow and glanced down, before flinging her head right back up, panicked.
"I--"
“If you’d like I can pretend I never heard a thing.” Eddie interrupted, dropping his voice into the gentler tone he reserved for delicate conversations.
People were always surprised by the lengths he went to make sure someone was comfortable--but then, people also forgot how often Eddie heard things he shouldn’t.
People didn't take drugs just for fun, after all.
“Or I can offer a friend of a friend discount on my wares,” He put a finger to his lips, miming smoking with one hand while he opened his vest with the other to flash the little pink triangle pin that sat inside, announcing his own sexualities status.
“and we can, say, discuss the differences between radical and social feminism while admiring the fine forms of Susan Sarandon and Peter Hinwood?”
The smile he gets is two parts relief, one part genuine delight and Eddie grinned right back at her, flicking his vest closed.
“I did not take you for a Peter Hinwood type.” Robin said it hesitantly, still waiting for the other shoe to drop. “Thought you’d find Tim Curry’s…acting skills, more to your taste.”
“In the case of Rocky Horror? I am Tim Curry.” He announced, loud and proud (well for this kind of conversation at least.)
He was rewarded by the tension finally melting out of Robin’s shoulders.
(This, Eddie reflected, is what he should have been doing this entire time, instead of getting tied up in knots over Harrington and turning into some kind of non-conformist tyrant.)
“Do you actually know the differences between social and radical feminism?” Robin challenged, braver now, and Eddie knew then and there he’d been successful in assuring her her secret was safe.
That she was safe, with him.
“Guess you’ll have to find out.” Eddie said, giving a playful nudge to her shoulder.
Baths in the laugh he gets for it, and for the first time today feels like he’s finally on firmer ground.
They chatted for a moment longer, making a loop on the very outskirts of the gym, voices hushed when it came to things that small town ears shouldn’t overhear--but of course, Robin couldn’t just leave things at that.
“Hey Eddie?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you do me one more favor?”
“Anything for you, my favorite feminist.”
For the first time since this conversation started, Robin managed to sound firm.
“Stop referring to Steve as a King.”
She rushed ahead, anticipating being cut off, and thus Eddie is hit with a wave of words, none of which he’d ever thought he’d hear in relation to thee Steven Harrington.
“He’s working really hard to get away from it, the whole King thing and how he used to be. I don’t know what all he did to like--you guys,” She flapped her hand in the general direction of Hellfire, “and I know he wasn’t an innocent bystander, but I kinda realized over the summer that I blamed him for a lot of things that were in my own head, and that he wasn’t--he was never as bad as I thought he was and he's still trying to make it up to me anyway.”
Robin trailed off, seeming to try and piece out what she wanted to say next without giving away the whole farm. “It’s not some act, Eddie. Steve’s really trying to change.”
Which yeah.
Eddie could see that, now.
Maybe not before but…
“Okay.” He said, after a long, long moment. “No more King Steve. Got it.”
The smile he got for that also felt like a victory, even if it was wrenched out of him.
xXx
Two hours and a dispersed crowd later, Eddie found himself once again stuck in his own head.
The facts were thus:
Steve Harrington was a good dude.
He used his good dude-ness to save Hellfire from a literal priest, right smack in front of God and Principal Hairy Ass both
All of Hellfire actually liked him
According to Robin Buckley, Steve was entirely fine with “all us triangles” quote/unquote
And;
Eddie was jealous.
He was self aware enough to admit it, alongside the fact that Jason Carver aside, maybe Eddie had been the villain today instead of Steve.
Which meant he not only owed Harrington an apology, but he owed it to both of them to work out his own stupid shit before it blew up in his face and cost him all his friends.
(He’d have called this move “pulling a Harrington” before today but now that feels mean, which Eddie supposes signals he’s grown as a person or some shit.)
So now he sits on Steve’s beemer, knowing the move will likely antagonize the ex-jock but equally knowing he’s planning on jumping off the car the second the guy comes near, and that the move itself will get Harrington to listen to him the second he’s done supervising whatever Hellfire’s youngest is doing.
(Eating leftover cookies like the older members are as they finish packing up, Eddie assumes.)
Ducking out like he did had allowed him some much needed time to think things though. Figure out what he was going to say--without an audience present.
He’d apologize publicly if he had to. But being vulnerable is hard, and given the way his friends had been acting, Steve isn’t the only person he owes an apology to.
For now, he’ll begin here, without an audience.
Eddie doesn’t get to plan for long--only gets to rehearse a few lines of his little spiel when a pointed cough jerks him back to reality.
There stands Steve Harrington, a fat wad of cash in one hand and a box in the other.
Like a man sent to the gallows, Eddie leapt off the beemer, squaring his shoulders.
He could do this.
Apologize-- and mean it.
Not that Steve gave him the chance to.
“The guys told me to give this to you.” He said, holding out the cash. Then he took a breath, like he was preparing to go to war, and added;
“I know you weren’t happy with me being here, and you probably don’t want this, but Dustin said you really liked cinnamon brownies so I made you some.”
The box was now held out alongside the cash, proof that Steve had tried to start this whole thing off on the right foot.
Eddie stared at it, then at Steve.
Felt the guilt chew on his gut just that much harder.
“I have been shitty to you all day. Why are you giving me this?”
Steve shrugged.
“To be fair I didn’t exactly make it easy on you either. You said jump and I said ‘watch this’.” Steve laughed, a small, almost self depicting sound. “Dustin’s been on my ass all day about it.”
Of course he had.
“Mine too.” Eddie admitted. “It's his tone, I swear."
“Yes!”
Carefully, Eddie reached out, accepted the box and the cash.
“Thanks by the way. For the stuff you said about me earlier.”
Steve grimaced, cheeks tinting a (lickable) red. “Yeah sorry, I--”
“No not--not that stuff.’ Eddie said, mentally hauling his thoughts back in line, fiddling with the cash. “The stuff about being a good person. No one’s uh. Said that. About me.”
Not except for Wayne, but Harrington wouldn’t know nor care about Eddie’s uncle.
Steve shrugged. “I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”
He’d argue that, except something was off.
It took Eddie a moment to place it--that the wad Steve handed over was way too big for the little bake sale they’d just attended.
He tucked the box under his arm, quickly counting the stack with a smoothness only drug dealers and bank tellers could manage.
“It’s all there, I promise.” Steve told him simply, but without judgment. He sounded like he expected this and that didn’t sit right with Eddie either.
Not that he could do anything about it because he’d just counted up didn’t make any sense.
Not trusting himself, Eddie stacked it back together, before counting it all again. He was faster this time, trying to figure out among all the ones, fives and tens how the hell they had managed to sell that many cookies.
Particularly considering the most expensive thing was one of the cakes and he’d watched Steve sell it for fifteen dollars.
So why were there three twenties sitting in the stack?
“Either you up charged the absolute shit out of someone’s mom, in which case I congratulate you, you sneaky devil,” Eddie said slowly, “Or you put extra cash in here.”
Steve blushed properly this time.
Eddie zeroed in on his face, watching as Steve rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, trying to pull his charming mask into place.
He didn't quite manage it.
Hadn’t even been wearing it before now, Eddie realized suddenly.
This entire conversation Steve had a realness to him that Eddie had never really seen.
Had maybe not wanted to see, from someone like Harrington.
“I don’t know what you mean.” Steve protested, like a kid who’d been caught with a hand in the cookie jar. “That’s what we charged.”
“You are a terrible liar.” Eddie accused, hand trembling. “We can’t take this, man. This is a almost two hundred dollars.”
Way more than what they’d need for Gen Con. It was enough to get them two fuckin’ hotel rooms!
“If It helps any, I didn’t do it for you.” Steve’s blush slid into something more genuine, as he nodded his head to where Hellfire was spilling out of the gym doors, laughing and shoving one another.
“They deserve to have a good trip.” He added, eyes fond as he watched Dustin and Mike squabble over how to fold Hellfire's banner.
It made his whole face soften, the harsh features of his jaw turning into something that was so adorable Eddie wanted to bite through it.
“Do you want to come?” Someone said, and it took both Steve’s startled look and a second long pause for Eddie to realize that someone was him.
Stupid, stupid, stupid-!
“To the convention?” Steve asked, looking doubtful.
Pity that Eddie was already nodding, like his brain and his body were at a total disconnect.
Maybe aliens had finally taken him over. Or a demon.
(Demonic possession could frankly explain a lot about today, Carver’s weird little power play aside.)
“Dude you don’t even like me.” Steve said. “Why would you want me to come along?”
“I dunno Harrington. All of Hellfire seemed to like you, and not just my freshman.” Eddie countered easily, gliding right over the fact that he himself did like Steve.
Way more than he should, and that right there was half of Eddie’s problem.
“They have pretty good taste in things.” He waived a hand, as if this wasn’t a complete 180 from how he’d acted all day. “I could understand if you didn’t want to slum it with us nerds though.”
Steve rolled his eyes.
“I’ve been slumming it all day with you nerds, if you haven’t noticed.”
“Yeah? What’s your verdict on us?”
“Not as bad as you could be.”
Eddie tilted his head back and laughed. “High praise from the King!”
He felt bad immediately after, and made himself promise to be more mindful about Robin’s ask--but thankfully Harrington didn’t take it hard.
(Habits, Eddie knew, were hard to change.
Took a lot of careful attention to change.
He had a long road ahead of him, and he hoped this little olive branch put him a few miles down it.)
Steve awarded him a small smile. “I haven’t been the King for a long while, man. But if you guys have an opening, I think I wouldn’t mind being a knight or whatever.”
“Ste-eeeve Harrington, defender of the realm.” Eddie nodded once, decisively. “I can see it.”
He tucked away the cash, and thus missed how Steve looked weirdly contemplative at that.
Raised his head and stuck out a hand.
Tentatively, Steve took it.
“Welcome to the club, Harrington. We meet on Fridays. Bring snacks.”
“Cookies okay?”
“Going by Gareth’s judgment, they’re more than okay.”
Eddie smiled and Steve smiled back, and God how he hated how fucking cute Harrington’s face was.
Particularly since he now got to think of the guy as “Steve” without feeling weird about it.
As in his possible, potential, friend Steve.
What a fucking trip that was.
“Oh, and Steve?” He called, the thought hitting him as Steve turned to welcome the group making their way to the beemer.
Steve had let his hand fall, turning to open the front door of the Beemer with a cocked eyebrow.
Eddie flicked a finger out, lightly tapping the Hellfire logo. “Tell Lucas I’ll get him another shirt. That one’s all yours, big boy.”
If there was a pink hue to Harrington’s cheeks, he was blaming sunburn.
(Two months, six days, and one meddlesome asshole named Henderson later, and Eddie would find out that Steve had in fact, been blushing.
He’d be furious at Dustin’s involvement, if it hadn’t directly led to Eddie finding out Steve’s blush did in fact go down his chest.
And his happy trail.
And his--
Well.
Men do not kiss and tell.
Not to fucking freshmen, anyway.)
THERE IS A GEN CON, "THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED BECAUSE DUSTIN IS A MEDDLESOME SHIT" BONUS BUT it's on A03 cause it was long enough to be its own post and I wasn't gonna add it to this one. You can read it here LINK
#steddie#Door Prize#Alt s4#pre steddie#FINISHED FINALLY#see I can commit#I can finish things#steve harrington#eddie munson#0o0 fanfics#stranger things#Steve vs a priest#Eddie has a panic attack#mean girl steve harrington#in defense of Hellfire#hellfires adopting him now sorry eddie#apologies
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Severus has certain habits and manners he picked up during his years at Hogwarts, rubbing shoulders with pure-bloods and aristocratic/wealthy families. During the time he was under their influence, especially when Lucius took him under his wing, he learned how to behave like someone of noble birth and adopted the gestures of a person born into privilege. But when he doesn’t have to pretend or maintain the facade of being impenetrable, he reverts to being that working-class boy with a thick accent and street manners because, while the boy can leave the neighborhood, the neighborhood never leaves the boy.
#severus snape#severus snape headcanons#pro snape#pro severus snape#severus snape defense#severus snape fanfic#severus snape fandom#snapedom
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eddie's flat ass (steddie)
Dustin whips around as soon as they’re alone. “Steve!”
“I’m Eddie.”
“No, I mean you and Steve. You like him.”
“Of course I like him, Henderson,” Eddie says flatly, pressing a little harder on the gas in hopes of getting to Dustin’s house before he admits something he regrets. “We’re friends. Best buds. A couple of dudes being bros.”
“You’re full of shit,” Dustin says. “I’m not stupid. I saw that. I wish I hadn’t, but I saw it. You’re, like, stupidly into him. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.”
“Jesus Christ,” Eddie mutters. His street can’t come soon enough.
Dustin pushes through. “When are you gonna ask him out?”
“Uh, never?”
“What?!”
“Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies,” Eddie rolls his eyes. “Nothings going to happen, Henderson. Yeah, I’ve got a stupid fucking crush on your babysitter, it doesn’t mean that Steve’s interested in me. He likes girls, Dustin, did you miss that part in the dossier? He thinks we’re a couple of straight guys horsing around, if he found out I was flirting with him I could be thrown into Hunt the Freak 2: the thrilling sequel.”
Dustin’s mouth snaps shut, and he laughs nervously. “Right,” he agrees. “He likes girls. But, uh, hypothetically, if he was into guys…”
They roll to a stop sign, and Eddie turns away from the road to tell the little shit off. But Dustin’s fidgeting, staring steadfast at the road and refusing to meet his eye.
“You know something,” he realizes.
“Uh…”
Eddie’s about to shake it out of him. “You’re hiding something, you little shit. What is it? Tell me.”
“I’m not,” he squeaks.
“Bull-shit you aren’t. What is it? Is it about Steve?” Eddie pales. “Shit, does he know about me?”
“Well…”
“What the hell?!”
“I didn’t tell him!” Dustin yelps. “If you didn’t want him to know, maybe you shouldn’t have been so obvious!”
“Check your tone,” he snaps, hand shaking as he pulls on his hair. “Shit, shit, shit, okay, it’s fine, I just need to flee the country—“
“Why?”
Eddie is this close to throttling the kid. “What do you mean why?”
“Why is this such a big deal?”
“It could get me killed!” He shouts, banging a hand against the steering wheel. “He could—he could fucking tell somebody, and—“
“He wouldn’t do that!”
“How the fuck am I supposed to know that? You think someone’s a good guy until you’re interested in them, and then it’s all ‘You’re fucking disgusting,’ or ‘Freak,’ or ‘Don’t touch me, you fa—‘“
“Stop!” Dustin shouts, white knuckling the armrest. “Eddie, stop. He’s not going to tell anyone. It’s gonna be okay. It’s fine.”
“It’s not.”
“It’s fine,” Dustin stresses. “Steve doesn’t care if you’re gay. He definitely doesn’t mind you flirting with him.”
“You don’t know that,” Eddie says.
“Yeah I do.”
“How?”
There’s that deer in headlights look again. Then Dustin takes a deep breath, and his expression turns guilty.
“I know you’re not supposed to tell people this,” he says, “but you’re freaking out really bad and I’m, like, 99% sure Steve thinks you already know.”
“Steve thinks I know what?”
Dustin tells him.
Two hours later, he’s still laying on the floor in the trailer, looking up at the ceiling.
Bisexual. Steve Harrington, the man Eddie’s always hailed as the patron saint of heterosexuality, likes men.
Might like Eddie.
“Are you flirting with me?” Eddie blurts out, and immediately tries to bolt.
He runs face first into a wall and ends up on the ground, wishing the demobats had just killed him.
Steve appears in his line of vision, standing over his sprawled body. Eddie is treated to a wonderful view, eyes moving from his long, athletic legs to his crotch to his chest and broad shoulders, and finally reaches his face. His very amused face.
Eddie’s entire body lights on fire.
“What the hell was that?” Steve asks, laughing.
“Uh…”
“Wile E Coyote over here. Seriously, man, that was some Loony Toons shit. I’m embarrassed for you.”
“Oh my God, shut up,” he groans. “Just let me die.”
“No way in hell. Sorry, Munson, I put too much work into saving your flat ass to throw it away like that.” Steve grins, holding a hand out for Eddie to take. He ignores it, rolling over so Steve can’t see how red his face is.
“My ass isn’t flat,” he mumbles into the carpet.
“Oh, it is,” Steve says cheerfully, nudging said ass with his foot, because he’s a bastard. Eddie doesn’t know why he likes him so much. Everything he does is catastrophically bad for his continued survival. “It’s cute though. I like it.”
“Henderson said, uh, that you were…umm…maybeflirtingwithme?” Eddie finishes in a rush.
“What?”
Steve’s face is open, automatically tilting his right ear towards Eddie. Eddie doesn’t know if he’s aware that’s something he does. Robin says it’s because of all the concussions, his left ear just isn’t what it used to be.
Eddie sags, unable to lie to his wide-eyed confusion. “Dustin said you're flirting with me.”
Steve stares at him.
Eddie fidgets under his incredulous gaze, growing more anxious by the minute. Oh God, Dustin was wrong. Dustin was wrong about everything. Steve probably doesn’t even actually like boys, Jesus. The whole thing is obviously a bust. Eddie needs to cut and run, maybe make some bullshit excuse about his uncle needing him home even though Steve knows Wayne’s working right now—
“You needed Henderson to tell you that?”
#eddie's flat ass au#i tried to come up with a name for two whole minutes and that's what i landed on#eddie munson#steve harrington#dustin henderson#steddie#sorry to all the thicc eddie truthers out there but that man is a board#idk what his actors ass looks like and idc. some things surpass the physical#stranger things fanfic#listen technically dustin is outing steve but in his defense steve fully thinks eddie knows he's bi#and if eddie wasn't told he was going to do something drastic
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HEYYY!! I HAVE A REQUEST PLEASE
Prompt 6 with dialogue 14 w/ Ron. Steamy make out session (smut only if you're ok with it) in an abandoned classroom maybe? while they skip classes. So like it ends with Ron saying the line in dialogue 14. Or yk whatever or however you feel like writing the whole thing I don't mind. love you writing SM AHHH ♡♡♡ tysm love
I know I already wrote one with prompt 6 but it never hurts do it again... "If I kiss you right now, I won't be able to stop." & Wiping away leftover lipgloss from their lips after kissing them. warnings: SMUT, public sex (empty room though) 1k wc
Giggling at another of of Ron's silly jokes, you twisted on his lap, taking a look at the clock hung up on the other side of the empty classroom you were busy 'studying' in. Ron gripped your hips at your sudden movement, groaning when you stood up with a sigh. "Oh, I need to start packing up. I didn't realise class started so soon." You stated, leaning over the table to gather your books, exposing the skin of your upper thigh as your skirt lifted up slightly. Ron followed your movements, standing to his full length before taking a step towards you, hands resting on the wooden table, trapping you between him and the desk.
"Ron." You muttered, spinning in his arms to face his looming figure. "Yes sweetheart?" You breathed out a laugh, hands coming up to straighten his collar before curiously looking up at him. Swallowing nervously, you licked your lips, cocking your head to the side slightly. Ron's gaze on you was almost predatorial, eyes locked on your face as you stepped away from him nervously. You hit the desk behind you, emitting a small gasp as your eyes instinctively falling to your boyfriend's lips. "Don't go to class." The words uttered from Ron's lips had you looking back up at his face, a small grin on your face. "I can't skip, Ron." You told him, although you didn't push him away when he closed the space between your bodies, pressing himself up against you.
He leaned down to your level, lips mere millimetres away from yours, teasing you. Your eyes fluttered and you felt yourself inclining into your boyfriend's touch, but your lips never met his. "If I kiss you right now, I won't be able to stop." He whispered, but that only encouraged your movements, arms wrapping over his shoulders to pull him closer to you. Ron's lips met yours in a slow, passionate kiss, taking his time as though you didn't have a lesson to get to. But you suppose that was fine; he had warned you. Ron's hands travelled further down your waist, settling on your hips, using the steady grip on you to roll his hips into yours. You gasped, granting him space to slip his tongue in your mouth to deepen the kiss.
Both your arms fell from their resting place on Ron's shoulders, going to rest on the desk behind you as Ron's hands wandered below your hips to grip your ass, lifting you up slightly to help place you on the cool wood. Your hand reached out, pulling Ron closer to you by his tie to close the space you had just created. Ron stepped into the gap between your legs, tugging your body closer to the edge of the desk as he gently rolled his hips against your, his hard length grinding against your cunt, only covered by the thin layer of your dampening panties.
Pulling away from the kiss to catch your breath, you looked at your boyfriend expectantly, waiting to see his next movements. Ron's hand dragged up your thigh until it disappeared under your skirt, searching blindly for the band of your panties. Gasping loudly when his hand feathered over pussy, you looked up, spotting Ron's proud grin. "Can't help myself." He explained, leaning in to press a short, teasing kiss to your lips. Finally pulling the underwear down your legs, Ron let you unbuckle his belt, observing each little movement you made.
His cock sprung out of his boxers excitedly, and Ron immediately got to work of pushing himself inside you inch by inch, watching your face for signs of pain. When he felt your hips grinding against him, he bottomed out, biting his bottom lip to keep from moaning out loud. Ron started thrusting immediately, watching the spot where his cock was driving into your cunt with wide eyes. His hand cupped your face, tearing your gaze away from his chest so he could see you quietly moaning before finally connecting your lips once more. Ron sped up his pace at the same time as he deepened the kiss, letting your moans get swallowed by the kiss. Your arms came back up to his shoulders, desperately gripping the dampening fabric of his uniform as if it would somehow quiet down your moans.
Ron separated from the kiss, opting to dig his head in the crook of your neck instead, leaving you to lean your forehead on his shoulder, biting down on your lip to muffle your moans as much as possible. "Fuck, Ron" You cried, nails digging into his shoulders. One of his hands slid under your skirt again, blindly feeling around for your clit until a loud moan signalled that he had found it. Rubbing hard circles down on it, Ron hurried the pace of his thrusts, his breath hitting your neck with every pant. "Baby I'm close." He groaned before biting down on the soft skin of your neck. Suddenly, he felt your pussy clamping down on him, and your moans got louder, echoing in the closed room, your orgasm taking over your body completely.
Ron's orgasm came quickly after yours, his moans muffled by your skin. His thrusts slowed as he rode both your orgasms out before he rolled his shoulders back, straightening up to get a good look at you all fucked out. Leaning down, he pressed a soothing kiss on your forehead, pulling out before hugging you close to his chest as you caught your breath. Glancing up, you smiled at your boyfriend, a small giggle leaving you when you saw the mess of lip gloss on his lips. Reaching up, you wiped away at the shine of glitter on his lips before smushing his cheeks together in your hand and pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"Do I still have time to make it to class?" The only response you got was an incredulous look from your boyfriend, throwing you into another fit of giggles.
#rainydayathogwarts#harry potter#hogwarts#gryffindor#ron weasly imagine#ron weasley fanfiction#ron wealsey#ron weasley smut#ronald weasley#ron weasley#ron weasley fluff#ron weasley x reader#ron weasley x you#ron weasly x reader#ron weasley defense squad#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter smut#harry potter fanfic#smut#weasley#golden trio fanfiction#golden trio#golden trio era#golden trio aesthetic#hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry
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That is an excellent point!  And I kind of like the idea of creating my own little museum of fanfic—Wandering through the archives and opening up boxes to say, “this is something I want to look at” while completely ignoring other boxes I have no interest in.
I would actually love it if there was one ginormous museum with all the world’s historical artifacts, and I could wander through their archives whenever I was in the mood, and take out different things to marvel at before putting them back for the next person to look at.
And to connect it back to the original conversation, how arrogant would it be of me if I said that any boxes I didn’t want to look in were bad, and should therefore be thrown away for no one to ever see? Remarkably arrogant and selfish when I could just walk past those clearly labeled boxes…
no but how much audacity and sheer entitlement do you have to have to tell people they need to stop posting their darkfic and porn fic and any other fic you don’t like to ao3 so you can have a safe space when ao3 was literally created as a safe space for writers to post their content without fear of it being randomly wiped out by pro-censorship assholes with an agenda like what has happened to plenty of other fic archives before?
“but a lot of us see ao3 as a safe space to get away from that kind of nasty content” - lol you can see the middle of a busy interstate as a safe space all you want too but that doesn’t mean that you get to walk into the road and scream at all the cars going by that they’re the ones infringing on your safe space either
ao3 is not, has never been, and will never be a site meant for nothing but children’s stories. you can “see it” like that as much as you want but there’s a difference between fiction and reality and that view of what ao3 is like is as fictional as the stories posted on it.
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Blackbird, Fly - Three
Cowboy Gaz x mail order bride—only, not his. After exchanging letters for half a year with ranching man Hans König, you finally travel out west to marry him. - You wonder if this is how lambs feel, when shorn for the first time. - content warning for marital rape after the second break. - ao3
previous
“Come,” says Hans, tugging on your arm, “let’s get you ready for the ceremony.”
Your husband-to-be leads you up the porch steps and into the house, long legs carrying him ahead so fast you must practically jog to keep up with him. You stumble when you enter the house—the interior is fantastically well-appointed, with papered walls and carved wood furniture, framed photos hanging beside paintings, pressed flowers, hunting trophies, rifles and knives and old farm equipment. The floor beneath your feet is polished and smooth, spread over in places with thick, fringed rugs. You don’t see much more of it after your initial impression; Hans pulls you along at a clip.
Even such a brief glimpse, though, proves your long-held assumptions about Hans and his livelihood; his family has done well for itself, over the years. The kitchen, dining room, and sitting room are all separate from each other, and the manor’s first floor alone is larger than the small farmhouse you grew up in. Your family always made an effort to present a comfortable, clean home, but it seems downright drab in memory now in comparison to this.
There’s a bit of a bustle going on as Hans tugs you along—you hear movement in the kitchen, punctuated by the clang of dishes moving to and fro. A rough voice grinds out something short, and a couple of cowboys emerge with covered dishes that they set on the dining table before they return back into the fray. In the sitting room, an older woman with short, sandy brown hair sits at a desk, spectacles perched on the end of her nose. She glances up at you, betrays no interest, and then ignores you.
“You’ll meet everyone at the ceremony,” Hans says. He directs you up the stairs. “Right now you need something nice to wear.”
“O-oh,” you say, lifting the hem of your skirt as you climb the steps. The fabric, purchased at a discount after you’d saved pennies and nickels for months, suddenly feels thin and insubstantial between your fingers.
Hans brings you into the main bedroom, equally well-designed with molded wood paneling and brass lanterns on the walls, where he goes to a chest at the foot of the massive bed four-poster bed. Everything you’ve seen so far in this house is much finer than what even the most well-to-do farmers back home could display; you used to imagine that wealth like this could only be within the reach of select few businessmen on the east coast. You never imagined you’d have the chance to marry into it.
“I think this should suit you,” says Hans, turning to you with a stack of clothing in one hand.
You take it from him when he proffers it—a skirt, blouse, and jacket, you find. The fabric is silky in your hands, glossy and cool to the touch and very fine. You shake out the skirt; yards of bustled fabric tumble open to reveal pleated gathers, elegant bows, and velvet trim. The paired jacket is much the same, with pearl buttons down the front, and the accompanying blouse is a weave of tight, delicate lace.
Your earlier fears are soundly confirmed; you are in no way dressed for a wedding to Hans König. Gaz had only been trying to be kind; being here, now, seeing the kind of splendor Hans lived with every day, no one could make the mistake that you could measure up on your own.
“Thank you, Hans,” you say, face warming with embarrassment.
“Think nothing of it,” says Hans, looking you up and down expectantly. “Go on.”
You blink. “Ex—excuse me?”
Hans raises his brows as if it should be obvious. “Why, let’s see you in it, dear girl.”
You blanch. Surely he isn’t suggesting…“But—well, Hans, we aren’t—we haven’t—”
“My dear, I’ve already promised to marry you. Why would I go to such expense on a wedding merely to fool you into showing me your underthings?”
You drop your gaze to the floor, cheeks burning. “It’s not proper.”
“Bah,” says Hans. He takes the clothes back from you, tosses them onto the bed, and brings his hands to the buttons down your front. “It’s not like I won’t see this again in a few hours.”
You are rooted to the spot. He unbuttons your dress with an alacrity that startles you; in a few short moments, he makes an opening wide enough to slip over your shoulders, and unceremoniously he pushes the collar open and lets the dress drop to the floor.
You blink several times. You wonder if this is how lambs feel, when shorn for the first time; do they feel suddenly like they’ve been skinned? Does the air suddenly feel much closer, more real than it had before? You remember shearing season on a neighbor’s farm, the angular planes of shortened fleece cropped close to twitching flesh. The sheep had looked unfinished after the deed was done—like wooden figurines only partly whittled.
When you look to Hans’ face, you find him gazing at the tight space where your chemise tucks into the line of your corset. Then, as if in a dream, he reaches out with one huge hand and cups the mound of one breast.
The air vacates your lungs. It’s the first time a man has ever touched you this way.
When young ladies of a certain age gather to socialize, matters of discussion inevitably tend toward the prurient. Your peers delighted in sharing the wealth of erotic experience they’d accrued; trysts in larders, late graveyard meetings, dizzying accounts of hands and mouths in places that sent shame pumping hot and curious through your veins. You lived vicariously through their adventures; opportunities for your own, with three older brothers and a protective father, were nonexistent.
The embarrassing fact is that in matters of your marital duties, you received no practical education.
The one time your mother, a modest woman, saw fit to tutor you, she’d taken you out to the small enclosure in which the family goats were kept. The animals were useful for milk and occasionally meat, so there was always a breeding pair at hand. This occasion, they served the additional use of instruction; the male was rutting.
Your mother had made you watch as the billy mounted the nanny, and shoved its little goat prick into her hindquarters. The billy seemed mindless with want, ferocious, gyrating its hips uncomfortably, which the nanny took with what seemed like resigned patience, if it was paying attention at all. Once the billy finished, it dismounted, chewed its cud a little bit, and walked off. The nanny seemed unperturbed, rather detached from the whole thing, and similarly continued with whatever it had been doing before.
“It’s about like that,” said your mother, unable to look you in the eye.
So you have little knowledge of the matter.
And you have no idea what to do now, as your husband-to-be fondles you and stares down at you with what seems like only idle interest. Hans’ thumb brushes over the space where your nipple would be, hot even through layers of cotton and whalebone. The fine hairs on your arms raise, standing straight up.
What are you supposed to do now? Touch him back? Your stomach turns over at the thought. Even if you wanted to, you have no idea how. Hans is touching you so casually, as if you’ve been his wife for years, but you are as poor in wifely instinct as you are in everything else.
“Lovely,” he says, eyes locked on the place where your chest is rapidly rising and falling.
You inhale shakily. This is fine. He wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t—of course it’s all right, you’re to be married within the hour. It’s only your breast, and only his hand, and it’s over your clothes. It’s fine.
“May—” your voice comes out dry. You clear your throat. “May I dress now, Hans?”
He smiles. You note that he has a thin-lipped smile, and his eyes do not crinkle at the corners. “Of course.”
-
When the guests have all arrived, when the world around you is bathed in the orange-gold light of the setting sun, and when the mandolin plays the bridal chorus, you join Hans König under an archway of lupine and Indian paintbrush. Evening gives way to night as the last day of your old life comes to a close, ending as you say the words that until now you’ve only whispered in the night at your bedside.
For better—for worse—as long as you both shall live. Over and over again, until your tongue recognized the shape of them like the Lord’s Prayer. As if practicing them enough would speed the hour to you all the sooner in which their vow became real.
Hans kisses you for the second time, and then together, arm in arm, you turn to face the congregation’s applause.
Stars begin peeking white faces through the dimming sky as the band strikes up a tune, and as the reception commences, you must shake hands with the whole county. The priest John MacTavish insists upon introducing himself first—a younger man, with vivid blue eyes and an unusual haircut, gives his congratulations in a husky Scottish brogue entirely inappropriate for a man of the cloth. He’s followed by the sheriff, Simon Riley, who practically chases him off—another tall man, near to your husband’s height, and twice as broad. Curiously, he wears a bandanna across the lower half of his face. His greeting to you is gruff, short—polite in a way that seems unnatural for him.
Next is a slightly older woman, splendidly dressed in lace-trimmed taffeta. She comes over to kiss your cheeks in the French style. Hans ducks his head as she smiles at you; you can’t help but feel similar trepidation. She is terribly striking, with delicate creases on either side of her mouth and a mysterious twinkle in her eye.
“The hotel in town is my establishment,” she tells you. “The bath house, as well.”
“Oh,” you say, “how lovely.”
Her smile quirks at the corners; she looks at Hans, then back to you, and softly chucks your chin. “You’re a pretty thing, aren’t you, darling?”
“Yes, Madame, thank you,” your husband says quickly as your face sets to blazing. “I believe others would like to speak to us, as well, if you don’t mind.”
She gives you another enigmatic smile, tightens the light chiffon wrap around her shoulders, and leaves you to the banker and his wife, who both eagerly step up to talk your ear off.
Farmers, other ranchers, ramblers and gamblers and trappers; it seems everyone in the state has come to pay you their respects, and they all want to meet you at the exact same time. The rough voice you heard in the kitchen manifests itself in the form of a burly man with mutton chops, who introduces himself as John Price the saloon owner. A young woman with an unsmiling face named Ms. Boucher tells you your first purchase at her dry goods store will be discounted by five percent, as a welcome gift from her to you. She punctuates the statement with a narrow-eyed look at your husband, but you have no time to wonder at it before the next guests capture your attention.
A whole line of Hans’ cowboys, headed by the woman you saw working at the writing desk when you arrived, form up to tell you their names and pledge you their loyalty, still dressed in their wrangling leathers but bathed and combed and polished for the occasion nonetheless. The woman introduces herself as Kate Laswell, the foreman.
“I took care of the accounting after Anna passed,” Laswell says to you. “Tomorrow I’ll go through the books with you. It’ll be your job from now on.”
“Now, Kate, you shouldn’t discuss business at my wedding,” says Hans, politely, but somewhat terse. “And besides, that would be far too much for my new bride.”
“Hans, I told you,” you say earnestly, referencing a summer letter, “I want to be a part of things.”
He smiles genially at you—but the expression seems tight. “Of course, dear.”
“Tomorrow,” Kate says to you. Curiously, she looks you up and down. Then, “You’ll need to see the tailor, as well, I think.”
Her words are not said unkindly, but they shame you anyway, reminding you just how poorly matched as yet you are to this life. When you’d put the dress on earlier, it had been immediately clear to you that it was not made to your measurements, but you hadn’t thought it would be so obvious to anyone else. Only Hans’ cowboys proceeding to introduce themselves saves you from having to respond.
One is conspicuously absent.
Unexpectedly, it hurts. Even though it shouldn’t. Gaz had only driven you here, after all. You’ve known him less than a day. It shouldn’t disappoint you, as you keep your eyes on the moving line, that he does not come forward, but it does.
In between meeting the county folk, you manage to get a few bites of the wedding feast—prime rib, lamb chowder, baked fish, seasoned potatoes, collard greens, fried tomatoes, sourdough biscuits, and three different fruit cobblers still somehow steaming from the oven. You and Hans cut the bride’s cake, an impressive sheet of angel food and ivory buttercream that he must have procured at outrageous cost; you are not embarrassed to wolf it down in front of Hans’ guests. It’s the sweetest, softest thing you’ve ever eaten, more delicate than you ever could have imagined any food could be.
As the sky darkens overhead, the faint cloud of the milky way coalesces in the light of the waxing moon, and the band takes up a lively jig as the wedding party sallies forth to the clearing to dance arm in arm. Your husband whirls you along with them, arm around your waist, and then you’re dancing, too, and the familiar two-step lifts your flagging spirits as the cool night air runs quick, soft fingers across your burning cheeks.
So what if some cowboy hadn’t made it to your wedding? You’re dancing with your husband, after months of longing for him; everything and everyone else is inconsequential laid up against this triumph.
Faces blur in the lamplight the night falls indigo around you, and as the music changes Hans twirls you into a new set of arms in a jaunt that has everyone exchanging partners. They hold you only briefly before the music changes again, and off you bounce to another, the world spinning around you faster and faster, jubilant and surreal, and then another—
Suddenly you are in Kyle Garrick’s arms.
He catches you like lassoing a runaway horse, taking your momentum into the pillar of his body as he winds you in close. One of his hands spreads warm across your back, fingers spanning what feels like the entire breadth of your waist. His other cradles your own in his palm, long fingers folded around it like an envelope. You fit against him easily, perfectly, like a couple illustrated in a storybook.
“Mr. Garrick,” you gasp.
“Mrs. König,” he says.
Suddenly you realize you’re out of breath. You take deep gulps of air, and Gaz’s scent permeates your lungs. Lavender soap and bay rum, polished leather, sweet hay. The soft, dense curls of his hair are combed and parted a little, and the short stubble he’d greeted you with on the train platform is tonsured down flush to his jaw.
He leans in closer to you, hovers his lips near to one ear. “You changed your dress.”
He doesn’t keep pace with the other dancers, or swing you around in time with the music; he lets the world slow around you both, the music falling away as he brings the pace of your heart down with soft line of his mouth and the steady, still look in his dark eyes. His hand on your back radiates so much warmth that it cuts through the evening chill just beginning to set in, as if his palm is directly against your naked skin.
You smile meekly. “It wasn’t appropriate for a wedding.”
His dark brows pull together; his hands tighten their purchase on you. You watch him avert his eyes from you, take a great breath in through flared nostrils.
“Mr. Garrick,” you say, feeling too honest, “do you disapprove of me?”
He snaps his gaze back to you. “Why would you think that?”
You swallow. “You don’t seem very pleased, whenever we talk, is all.”
Suddenly Gaz smiles—lets out a short, sharp laugh that bares his even teeth, shows the points of his canines. “That’s not your fault. I promise you.”
“Then what is it?”
He gazes at you. Lamplight casts the angles of his face in shadow, deepens the darkness of his eyes. His shoulder is solid beneath where your hand rests, shaped hard by a life on the range; you could lay the entirety of your weight against him, you think, and he wouldn’t even sway with holding you up. There’s something very present about Kyle Garrick. Something real. It draws you in like the earth draws the moon into its orbit.
“Do you really want this?” he asks you.
You blink. “Of course I do.”
“You hardly know him.”
“I’ve known him for half a year, Mr. Garrick,” you say, somewhat unsure how much explanation you owe this cowboy. After all, you’d vowed to earn his trust, as his employer’s new wife. “I know you might have some reservations about me. I understand, really.”
“No,” says Gaz immediately, dark brows low and serious over his eyes. “Not about you.”
“Mrs. König!” an accented voice calls.
Immediately the world speeds up around you again, music crashing back into your ears, wedding guests spinning and leaping around you, and you turn to see your husband standing at the edge of the clearing.
The dancing comes to a halt at the sound of his voice; Hans outstretches one hand toward you.
“I believe it is time for us to retire,” he says.
Gaz’s hands tighten on you again. You feel the eyes of the other dancers on the two of you, tight lines of attention between you and them.
You have felt it all evening, really—the undercurrent lining every conversation, the askance looks tossed at you and your husband when no one thought you’d notice. The pervading sense of some drama playing out just outside of your comprehension.
You turn to look back at Gaz. His mouth is pressed into a hard line. The wells of his eyes are ink-dark, opaque, eclipsed by something of a shape beyond your knowing. He says nothing as he holds your gaze, only watches you with an expectation so stoic, so resigned, that you feel almost guilty for releasing him.
He lets you go as if his grasp wasn’t even tight in the first place. You turn away from him, from the stone-hard expression on his face, and go to slide your fingers into your husband’s waiting hand.
Wolf-whistles populate the night air as he smiles approvingly, nods, and leads you away. Short bursts of knowing applause behind you draw your shoulders tight together.
“Ignore them,” says Hans, tucking your hand into the crook of his arm. “They’re just fools.”
You look back over your shoulder. Gaz still stands amid the dancers, a wide berth around him. His eyes have not left you; they pierce you in the night, sharp even as the distance between you grows.
You have only one other point of reference, aside from your mother’s tutelage, for how the end of this evening might go. A topaz glimmering in the folds of your memory.
Years ago, before the shine had worn off as it usually does with older siblings, you’d worshiped your oldest brother like he was Jesus Christ returned. You’d trailed after him like a newborn pup, dogging his every step, hoping your devotion would earn you even the smallest scraps of his affection. You’d watched his comings and goings like you could divine the mysteries of God from the merest angle of his movements.
One night, far past the time when everyone should be asleep, he’d slipped out of the small three-room house your family shared. You knew, because you slept closest to the door, and by then could recognize him by the rhythm of his footsteps. Like any nosy little sibling, you’d followed him out once you were sure he couldn’t hear you behind him.
He’d made his creeping way toward the barn, his path and yours lit only by a waxing moon. You remember, sneaking along after him, noticing a dim glow emanating from the cracks in the hayloft door, and guessed that your brother had realized he’d forgotten to snuff a lantern before going to bed—and now he was going to put it out, rather than leave a hay fire to chance.
He went inside. You were about to follow (no sibling, however divine, was exempt from a good ribbing, and nearly burning down the barn was excellent blackmail fodder)—when you heard another voice.
A female voice. Soft, and sweet, and welcoming.
Very little preamble separated that revelation from the next, and what you heard in the following moments rooted you there in place; movement. Rustling. For the span of a few heartbeats, nothing except for the crickets in the fields—and then, like the moon rising on a cloudless night—a growing chorus, voices high and low, moaning together in staccato.
You’d stood there, frozen absolutely solid, as it went on. The high voice lifted higher, and higher, carried on frantic, rapid breaths, until it cut off with a shriek that muffled so fast you knew your brother had covered the girl’s mouth.
Then—quiet, shared laughter.
So you know a little more than what the goats taught you.
Hans leads you back inside the house, where the lanterns have been turned to low, orange specks of light. You fix your eyes on the nape of his neck ahead of you as the two of you climb the stairs, making your way back to the master bedroom. The cacophony of the wedding celebration is far away; he opens the door, draws you inside, and shuts it behind him.
You stand in the middle of the room, looking at him. This whole evening has felt like a dream, but as you gaze at your husband, you suddenly feel like you’re waking up. You have not been alone with Hans since you met him, not really, and you realize he hasn’t felt quite real to you because of it. You almost feel as if you can see him, for the first time, see the words that have made him up in your memory coalesce into the flesh-and-blood man standing before you.
This is him. This is Hans. This is the man you love.
Softly, you approach him. Reach up with two hands to take his face in them; press your lips, shyly, unpracticed, to his.
“Hans,” you say, more softly than you have ever said anyone’s name in your life, looking into the pale blue of his eyes.
He gazes down at you. “Let’s get undressed,” he says.
It’s the moment you expected, but it daunts you nonetheless. You nod, step away from your husband, and he sets to the task—he shucks his coat, dropping it on the floor, and unhooks his suspenders. Swiftly you turn away from him when he begins unbuttoning his shirt, face blazing—of course, you’ve seen men undress before, you have three brothers, but this—this—
The reality of what you are about to do douses you all at once, soaking you to the bone. When you bring your hands up to the buttons of your bodice, they are trembling; you can barely get the tiny pearls between your fingers to undo them. You hear more clothes land on the floor behind you as you struggle, and then nothing. Stillness.
His eyes are heavy on your back. He is silent as you finally get the jacket off, and the blouse along with it; he is silent as you push the skirt down over your hips, the garment piling on the floor.
Your whole body is shaking by the time you’re down only to your chemise, shivering like a foal on new legs as you bare your shoulders. You close your eyes. There’s no need to be afraid as you shuffle the garment down your back. It’s only your husband behind you, looking at you as you bare your buttocks, as you step out of the split shorts, as the cool night air caresses your naked belly.
“That’s enough,” Hans says behind you when your hands go to the ties on your stockings.
You go still.
“Get on the bed, now.”
-
You focus on your breathing. Long breaths, in and out, as you crawl belly-first onto the mattress, which sinks luxuriously under your weight, softer than any bed you’ve lain on in your life. Suddenly, before you have time to adjust, the mattress sinks even more under you, and an envelope of heat and weight looms over you, pressing hard onto you, bare skin and the smell of sweat and the sound of another person’s breathing over you invading your senses.
Then there’s something blunt nudging at the entrance of your sex. A hand on your hip, gripping tight. The blunt thing circles briefly, parting your folds, and then is pressing into you. Pressing in somewhere tight, somewhere that doesn’t want to open to let it in. You hold your breath. It presses harder, fighting the resistance, and then finally gets past it, just a half inch or so—and suddenly it hurts.
“Hans,” you whisper.
He hasn’t seem to have heard you. He pushes harder, just a bit further. There’s another wall of resistance, this one needling and far more solid. You gasp sharply at the dryness of it, the way his member seems to want to push your own folds up into you as it tries to get in, shoving, bludgeoning, and then, mercifully, Hans pulls away.
It’s on the tip of your tongue to suggest that maybe the two of you try this later. Clearly there is something about you that’s not ready for it—but then his hand is between your legs, smearing something slippery around, and just briefly he touches something that pulses with interest. You jolt as little sparks of pleasure dance through you but quickly burn out, and then, the blunt head of his cock is back, pushing in, much faster, much smoother, huge and hard—
Suddenly it is sharp inside you, razor sharp, paralyzing. You shriek in pain, tears welling acidic in your eyes, shocked, betrayed, and he keeps coming, an endless length of him forcing inside, making room where there is none, going somewhere it clearly must not belong—and then he groans, loud and guttural, and begins to pull out.
You don’t have enough time to mistake this for the end of it. He pulls out halfway and then rams back in, slamming against your body, punching what must be the very limit of the space he can make for himself in your body. Pain roars to life around his cock, radiating outward, a ripping and shredding that grows as he forces himself into you again, and then again, and then it’s happening for real, he’s begins thrusting so fast it knocks the breath from your lungs, slapping his hips against your backside as he grunts and groans behind you like a dumb animal. He batters some nexus of agony that sends you screaming, shrieking with every jerk of his hips, tears streaming down your face as you grip the blanket in clawed fingers.
“Please, Hans, stop, please!”you wail. “Stop, stop, stop—”
His hand grips back of your head, turning your face downward—pressing it against the bed, muffling your mouth and nose and eyes into the blanket—
He jerks against you as agony writes itself into your bone marrow. Your hands circle in on themselves so tightly you feel your fingernails bite into your palms. Any memory of laughter you ever had abandons you.
Then, suddenly, mercifully, he’s forcing himself into you as deeply as he can, groaning loud, and something warm blooms in you, squelches out warm and sticky as he pulls in and out a few more times. He stills then from his furious rutting, hanging over you, panting.
Then he pulls out. Your husband lets you go and rolls over, breathing hard on the bed. You lay absolutely dead still, shaking violently, every muscle in your body tensed up painfully tight.
“Hans,” you whimper, “Hans.”
“Mm-hm,” he hums.
“Hans.” Every nerve is vibrating with pain. “Hans, that hurt.”
There is a long silence after. So long, you start to believe that he won’t say anything; that perhaps, even, he’s fallen asleep, and your words have dropped like flies from the air between you before they reached him.
But he hasn’t fallen asleep. Your husband shuffles off the bed, lifts the linen, and shuffles back into it. The lantern light is dim in the bedroom, but light enough that you can see the nonplussed expression on his face.
“Anna got used to it,” he says finally, eyes closing. “You will too.”
And he turns on his side and says no more to you.
You lay there aching. When you drag your fingers through the slick mess between your thighs, streaks of red intermingle with the clear and the white.
Suddenly you want this day to be over. You want to close your eyes and dream that it never happened—or maybe, if you go to sleep, you’ll awaken to find that it was all a dream after all, and you’re still home, your mother cooking just outside the bedroom door. Slowly, you inch off the bed, finding the floor with your stockinged feet, and go to douse the lanterns.
The room is cold and silvery without their light. Darkness gathers in the corners, around the weak glow of moonlight failing to fully penetrate the curtains over the window. You gingerly swipe the cloth from a nearby washbasin between your legs, cleaning up the remnants of your husband’s pleasure, and then, with nowhere else to go, you return to the empty side of the bed and crawl stiffly under the covers.
He does not stir as you settle in beside him. You lay your head on the pillow next to his and fold your hands over your stomach.
Outside and far away, you think you can hear the band still merrily playing. The darkness deepens, and deepens, until you can’t tell where it ends and you begin.
-
next
#gaz garrick#gaz x reader#gaz x you#gaz x y/n#kyle gaz garrick#kyle gaz x reader#kyle gaz x you#gaz cod#gaz call of duty#cod x reader#cod x you#cod x y/n#cod fanfic#blackbird fly#mwritesgaz#madi writes#sorry this was gnarly#also if this is like. weird. in my defense i wrote most of it while sick with covid#side note when writing that first scene i suddenly viscerally understood what the dark romance girlies (gn) were all about
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You know that post on here detailing exactly how horse people become horse people through a process of extremely intentional and carefully cultivated empathic and compassionate understanding and constant self-regulation in order to keep a horse calm enough to trust you and let you ride it that ultimately results in a bond forged between man and horse so profound that of course you become a horse girl, you had no fucking chance of not?
Andrew would absolutely be amazing with horses. No I will not elaborate, if you've read AFTG then I don't need to. Give that man a ranch and some 'troubled cases' and watch that man master the equestrian art. But also,
Neil is so The Horse coded. I will continue to not elaborate, y'all know what I'm getting at.
#fanfic where andrew owns a horse ranch#nicky and aaron are his ranch hands#kevin is his professional horse rider friend who only trusts andrew with his horse#neil pops up#skittish and paranoid and untrusting and prone to violence as self defense and a little sprinkling of chronic panic#andrew and his many horses: “hmm. this is familiar”#andrew: tames neil by earning his trust via being a solid and calm anchor#neil: “hmm. you could make a religion out of this”#all for the game#andrew minyard#neil josten#andreil
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My sister made a good point, she said, "Why does Fiddleford have to be a vampire? What if he was a ghost that haunted Stan instead?" And honestly that's a really good idea! Fidds is gonna stay a vampire in my au, but here's a small taste of ghost Fidds (I was being lazy :P)
Oh and here's a drawing of Fidds I got my sister to draw 🙏 as you can see, artistic talent runs in the family 🙂↕️
#in her defense she's never drawn on a tablet before#the pressure sensitivity is difficult to work around when you're used to paper and stuff#cole's art#art#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#ghost fiddleford#maybe I'd write fanfic of ghost fidds and werewolf stan but I don't think I'd ever draw it#if i do draw it it'll be one off#<- the words of a person desperately not trying to start a new AU#gravity falls halloween au
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Fictober23 Prompt: 6 - "I can't wait for you."
Fandom: DPxDC
Rating: T
Warnings: Mentions of blood and injury
Danny stared at the stars above his head, sitting on top of Fenton Works. Even after a week his arm still tingled with phantom pains from his accident. In his left hand was a dagger he hadn't looked at in years now. Was it 6 or 7 years? Danny couldn't really remember. He had been too young when he had made his first decision for himself only.
The fingertips of his right hand traced imaginary patterns over the blade as his eyes searched out different constellations in the night sky. 7 years ago, he would have never imagined for himself a future where he was allowed to follow his own dreams. A week ago he had talked about his dream of becoming an astronaut, exploring the vast space that existed just outside of their own stratosphere.
Now after that the lab accident he had he felt like another dream had gotten shattered by the wheels of fate. It wasn't even his past life from before the Fentons that shattered these dreams, in the way he had feared in the first couple of years after coming to live with them. It where times like these when he would dug out the dagger to take it with him to see the stars.
His eyes turned from the stars to the blade in his hand.
It was a special blade his biological mother had ordered when she learned about having twins. The blade itself was only one half. The flat surface of the handle and the blade on one side while the other appeared like a high quality blade and greatly decorated handle, spoke of the missing part. His dagger was only half of a dagger, the other half was with his twin.
This was the only thing he had taken with him when he had left at the tender age of 5 or was it six? His memory was blurry and back then celebrating your birthday wasn't as big of a deal as it was in the life he had gained with Fentons.
At times Danny wondered why he had been the only one to see it. His twin had gone through the same teachings, the same lessons, the same training, the same mission. Yet Danny had been the only one who saw the way their grandfather really was. The manipulation, the gaslighting, the brainwashing. Danny had seen it all and realized it pretty soon and when he had talked with his twin about it?
He had hit a wall. Grandfather knows what he's doing. Stop imagining things, Danyal.
"I can't wait for you. Damian, if you can't see what I do, then I can no longer stay here and wait."
These were the last words he had said to his twin after another argument about their grandfather gaslighting them about a mission result. It was right there and then that Danny decided he needed to leave and that he did.
Somehow, as a five years old he had managed to get all the way to America before they found him again. And when he refused to come back they, his grandfather's mans, attacked without remorse. After all it was better to get rid of loose ends than to let them frail your masterpiece.
But ending up near death in the middle of a forest where the Fentons happen to be camping was his luck back then. They probably thought that he wouldn't make it, that Danny wouldn't have the will to continue barely breathing in his own pool of blood but Danny proved them wrong. He did have the will and he had continued crawling until Jazz had found him.
That was how his life had changed the first time. The Fentons took him in, allowed him to dream and to build a future and family of his own. Now this lap accident was making changes to his life again and Danny couldn't help but think back to his previous life. "I wonder if Damian finally saw what I did or if he still is under grandfather's influence…"
Months later Danny was introduced to an apparent family friend of his parents. One Danny felt was too much of a fruitloop and gave him concerning flashbacks to his grandfather but was still easier to deal with. But following all the incidence of conflicts with the fruitloop was also a moment to which said fruitloop somehow convinced his parents to let him drag Danny to a Gala.
Danny hadn't paid any attention to the guests of this gala, no he had taken the first chance he got to escape the way Sam had advised him before to do, and fled to a balcony. Breathing in the clear night air Danny loosened the tie he was made to wear. He did not notice the soft click of the balcony door behind him.
"Danyal." Danny whirled around and pulled out a hidden blade he kept on his person more out of habit than anything else. He hadn't heard his name spoken like that in years, even the fruitloop and a more American dialect when it came to saying his name.
He froze at the mirror image with green eyes that stood before him. That couldn't be could it?
"Damian?" The other teen nodded and Danny only relaxed his stance ever so slightly. His shoulders were still tense and he was still ready to spring into action or use his ghost powers to escape if needed.
Neither of them spoke a word as they took in each other's appearance and Danny hid a small chuckle as his twin clicked his tongue at his defensive stance, crossing his arms.
"I see, you still have that half of a dagger mother had made for us."
"The only thing I took with me when I left."
His twin clicked his tongue once more before reaching into a hidden pocket and pulling out the other half of that dagger. Showing that he also had kept his half of it throughout all these years.
"There is no longer a need for you to wait, Danyal."
Danny blinked and completely dropped his defensive stance, hearing the unspoken words. He let a small smile tuck his lips upwards. It appears that there was a lot he had to catch up on with his twin.
"I never waited to begin with Damian. I ghosted you right after." He chuckled lightly, knowing his brother wouldn't understand until later.
"Don't lie, Danyal. You took your half of the dagger with you." His brother frowned before smirking at him. "You said you couldn't wait anymore but taking it with you was clearly telling me that you would still do so anyway."
#fictober23#danny fenton#danny phantom#damian wayne#Demon twin AU#dp x dc#dpxdc#crossover#dcxdp#fanfic#Danny has left the Leauge on his own when he was just a child#He saw how manipulative they were#Damian only realized later what his brother saw#they meet at a gala again after years apart#A little angst with a sorta happy ending#Vlad unintentionally helped Danny reuniting with his family#the bats and birds did not know about Danny until then#To Damian's Defense... they never asked#Bruce is going to have another crisis#Damian never believed Danny was dead#he knew his twin best after all#Danny was just waiting for Damian
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A Batfam AU where instead of going to get Dick to be Robin again Tim uses necromancy to bring Jason back from the dead. He just leaves Jason on the Wayne doorstep with a 'do better this time' sticky note. Batman can't find out who did it and Tim stays his little latchkey self with semi ok but distant parents (cus canonical they weren't really abusive just not there which isn't good but they could be worse). His parents bring him along on trips but again they love him but they just leave him to do as he pleases. so in Paris he ends up still getting trained by Lady Shiva. This keeps going and Tim just keeps reviving batfam members, if they fake their deaths and Tim tracks them down to check on them. They still have no idea who their shadow is, they can't find him, Tim likes it this way. Bruce goes MIA and Red Robin happens just minus Tim actually being Red Robin. The JLA doorstep gets a passed-out Batman with a 'I can't believe I have to keep doing this shit' sticky note on his head.
#now you're probably going Batcaves i see those fics all the time? and my retort is those are babyified Tim Drake fics. he then gets adoped#the batfam and has a coffee addiction. i want a Tim Drake that treats the batfam like how wildlife rehab centers treat animals. they make#themselves knowable of the subject. they're striving to improve their quality of care. establish safe working habits. share skills. put car#of the subject over personal gain. be professional and humane. protect welfare of the subject. release the subject as soon as appropriate.#it's just his subject is batvigilantes not a racoon that was on the side of the road.#tim drake#batman#robin#dc comics#dc universe#detective comics#batman comics#batman and robin#batman au#and i think Jack and Janet being abusive is getting boring. have them be ok parents. they give tim a long leash but fail to see hes using i#for his own fun. they never told him he CANT learn necromancy and revive bat vigilantes how was HE supposed to know it's a bad thing??#maybe they should have looked at what he was doing while they were off. (like Phineus and Ferb. He asked if he could learn self-defense.#he learned from Lady Shiva not at the YMCA. He asked if he could read a book on necromancy! you didn't tell him he's not aloud to use what#he learned! he asked if he could go to the cemetery to see Jason! you didn't say he couldn't revive him! and so on)#Tim: mom can I learn self-defense while in Paris?#Janet: that's a good idea there are so many pickpockets here a little training would be nice for you. do you know a place?#Tim: Yes! her name is Sandra#Janet: cool. if you think she's the best choice. here some money.#Tim: Thanks Mom!#janet drake#jack drake#fanfic idea#fic idea#fanfic ideas#batfam
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imagine if the events of stranger things happened when ao3 first started being around solely so that Mike could do the classic ao3 author cliche of abandoning his fic for 5 years and then updating it with an authors note saying “hey guys bet u thought I was dead 😎 sorry this took so long my best friend literally got kidnapped and then possessed by an eldritch horror that turned out to be controlled by some fucked up dude and it turned into a whole war everyone in my hometown and all my friends and family almost died lol anyways here have some angst of me projecting my childhood trauma and PTSD into this today #winning”
#mike wheeler#u can’t tell me he wouldn’t#byler tumblr#mike wheeler headcanons#byler#yeah I’m tagging byler even tho it isn’t rlly sorry#in my defense the fanfic is probably gay#elli talks mike wheeler
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You're Never Fully Dressed-
Alastorxfem!reader
oh boy everyone's favorite! Please I have never written before, I just figured I'd give it a shot it was 1:35 and I was not feeling sleepy so an hour later here it is, its not edited so SORRY ABOUT THAT- all of my friends are normal and would definitely not proof read this hot garbo!
Basic Plot!! Yikes another song fic i know i KNOWW, the reader knew our good pal Al in her life but oopsies he "left" her (he died duh) and now shes taking a sad hot girl bubble bath to reminisce!!
Lyrics are bolded, past events Italics for the most part.
ALSO Please DNI if you're a minor k thanks bye!! You are responsible for your own internet consumption, so here are the warnings! If you don't want to view that ✨dont✨
Warnings include:
-Swearing
-Violence
-Alcohol Use but not abuse! (its hell duh)
-Abusive Relationships
-Slight Innuendo but not a strong one!
-Angst
The fire danced, flitting left and right. It was different than any other fire set in hell, it wasn't meant to hurt anyone or destroy anything. It was just a small flame, melancholically melting the dripping wax down the white lilac scented pillar. Floral scents were hard to come by unless you made them yourself, it was hell after all, its not like theres a flower garden planted on every corner. The candles single wick didn't produce more than a drop of light. It just flickered every now and then, entertaining its own little lonesome sway. Your demeanor softened as you looked at it from the petal filled bath you currently resided in.
Oddly you felt at peace, understood, almost comforted. You had learned to dance the same way it seemed. You caught yourself when you fell, twisting and turning to please an audience. It was a cruel existence. At least the flame looked content in some way, at least it would never know what it was like to contort under the will of another. Yet it was still a light in darkness, shining for no other reason than to survive...All it could ever do was take, even if it didn't want to, fire needs to burn. To burn it must destroy. You sighed sinking deeper into the bubbly water. You didn't want to think about your past. Not anymore. You didn't have to anymore anyway. Life had not been kind to you and that constant displeasure followed you through your death and into the pits of hell. Funny how suffering could follow biting desperately at your heels and the man who was so "desperately" in love with you in life just couldn't find it within himself to stay...God you sounded bitter. To be fair you were. After all he had ruined your life and he didn't even know it...It wasn't that bad was it? You probably would still be in hell regardless, even without his "involvement" or lack of- you had always been a sinner. It wasn't worth it to be upset, not anymore he's most likely dead, you definitely are, whose to say if he'd even wind up down here. You paused a moment, laughing at the silly conclusion overthinking had led you to.. no that fucker is definitely in hell. Sweet as he was up front, he had a dark side that went much deeper than his soft exterior could cover. You closed your eyes..
1923- Central New Orleans
Suddenly it was 1923. The flower lined streets of late spring in New Orleans. His smile never wavering as he dragged you from store to store. As your dear companion, and biggest supporter, he had asked you to assist him at the radio station. Now that you had finished school you would need a job anyway. You'd always had a beautiful voice and a knack for writing. It just made sense. His hand squeezed yours lightly pulling you from your thoughts. In his hands, he held a burgundy day dress and a matching bow.
"Darling, would you try this on for me? I believe it is high time you were rewarded for all of your hard work. I believe you would simply sparkle in this color"
You smile softly at his gentle tone, taking the delicate dress in your hands. You find yourself caught in his eyes. It feels like you two are the only people on the planet
You feel the familiar sensation of tears on your face, you open your eyes again, you hadn't realized you'd started crying.
you let out the shrill scream you didn't know you were holding in. the fluke of champagne you had so tediously been savoring since you began your bath cracked slightly. You downed the rest of the glass, and grabbed the bottle sitting lazily on the floor. You didn't want to think about him or your life anymore...but it consumed you. You had so many more important things to fret about in your..current..environment. Songs to sing, bitches to kill, people to fuck. A grand glorious array of newer shinier problems, and yet you were stuck sulking about the past. You take a deep breath shaking slightly despite the warm vanilla scented water surrounding you. You remove your hand from the water motioning to the shadow hiding behind a vase (of no more than slightly wilted roses). It slinks forward at your beckoning, climbing to the white marble countertop of your vanity, it clicks the worn down knob of your rickety old radio. light jazzy music trickles out and fills the air with lovesick nostalgia you weren't entirely prepared to let in. No matter what he had done...you would always fall back to him. Even if he was nothing more than ill-fated failed fourteen year "endeavor". fourteen years is quite a long time, even if the majority of it was spent more or less platonically. You really did love him. Love doesn't always follow those that leave, you are testimony and truth to that. You let your mind wander guided by the static filled notes of the radio.
Hey, hobo man
Hey, Dapper Dan
You've both got your style
But brother
You're never fully dressed
Without a smile!
Even through the shudder of the static, it really did sound like him. Despite being the "host" of the station. He had his fair share of performances. For such a Hell bound soul he had the voice of an angel.
You close your eyes once again and allow the melody to take you back to an easier time.
1926- New Orleans, Your apartment
You sing along with whatever tune the radio gives you. You're at peace, simply existing for no other reason than to be with your friend.
"Dance with me my little canary, your voice lights a fire within me"
He pulls you in by the waist. His hands splayed across your hips holding them with a gentleness you'd never expected him to hold for you. He leans his head down against the yours and places a chaste kiss on your forehead
"Alastor" you giggle, the sensation tickling you slightly. "You are quite ridiculous"
"Ridiculous?" he feigns hurt. "My darling I am so far from ridiculous the word does not find sense within my ears" he spins you around and into his chest, you roll your eyes ignoring his antics
"Dearest are you aware you are speaking with the future of radio?"
"The future of radio? Please Love, don't jest. The 20s surely have more in store than you" You laugh into his chest and he shockingly laughs with you.
Neither of you know it but you are both so drunk on the sound. To you, his laugh sounds like the swift church bells that used to ring throughout your home town whenever someone got married. It feels familiar and yet like a distant memory. It makes you want to hear it over and over again until your ears stop working, and even then you'd settle in just fine feeling the vibrations of his chest. He sounds like home. To him, your laugh sounds like the rushing creek and smooth algae covered stones resting deep beneath the trees draped in Spanish moss of his mothers cabin in the woods. Just hearing your laugh he can feel the spotted sunlight speckling his freckled face underneath the big willow tree. You sound like home. Everything about you- it felt like home to him. His hands were crafted to hold soft curves of your body. His ears were made to hear your voice and your voice alone. You were purpose, his home. You don't know it, but it is that realization that sparked the idea of marriage into his heart.
That fire was put out not long after.
You at least had those nine years as his friend, three years as his "copain" if you will- and two years as his fiancée...and so many years alone. You only spent 14 years in the company of this man. You had lived before knowing him a good 17 years, and a good long bit after.
Why were you so stuck?
You hum along subconsciously, the objects in your bathroom begin to glow a familiar pink, levitating slightly in the air as you continue to hum. Your ability isn't weak by any means, but for some reason you were. You were nothing in comparison to hells overlords, especially the newest trio of Vs. Your power is so deeply connected to your voice, how can you hold power when it doesn't belong to you anymore? You drift back to the memory of your arrival. Scared, alone, dressed a great deal less than modestly, and equipped with nothing more than a pair of horns, some wings you couldn't quite use yet, and a thin devil like tail. It was only your third hour in hell. You didn't understand the rules. You were playing a twisted game in which you didn't realize you were just another piece of.
Shock can make a person anxious and fear will make them stupid. He was tall and smelled distinctly of cigars, soured whiskey, and something pungently sweet you couldn't name. It burned your nose as you inhaled it. You would become well aquatinted with the smell of lust in the years to come, you just didn't know it yet. It seemed innocent at first, just a simple contract, no different than a job. All you had to do was sing and dance at a club, in exchange for safety. But it was different and it wasn't innocent. He was cruel and yet no different than so many of the men you had dealt with in life. He agreed to your terms of anonymity and thats about it. You had your private life and his life. Valentino never played fair. You didn't know that yet, and now you're hells favorite sinner, a least no one knew it was you. If he had asked you another day later you would have realized you could have probably fended for yourself, with some difficulty anyway. At least you wouldn't have to be in this mess. You wouldn't be fucking six people before noon. You wouldn't be constantly covered in bruises and scars...Maybe you could have found him, Alastor that is. Maybe you could have at least been friends again. Its silly to hope for anything more since your romantic relationship ended...✨the way it did✨
Your clothes may be Beau Brummelly
They stand out a mile
But brother
You're never fully dressed
Without a smile!
1931- New Orleans, The river
The two of you sit beside each other in a small wooden row boat. Your hair is tied back with your signature crimson ribbon. He fiddles with the pocket of his jacket. The Louisiana soundscape of crickets, frogs and running water accompanies your conversation. Fireflies light up the air, almost bringing the stars down to your fingertips. With a buzz and a gentle green glow, the small creature lands on your hand. Your smile leaks wonderment and Alastor can hardly contain the love he feels for you.
As a Radio Host, he is quite agile in the way of words, yet something about you has him constantly at a loss. He takes a deep breath, unsure of what to say his voice wavers as he begins to speak.
"y/n, I want to thank you for the effect you've had in my lif-"
"My love look at the stars!" You didn't mean to cut him off, Your arms stretched upwards your face turning to meet his. The stars were so much brighter then they were in the city, it was only natural for you to be excited
"Yes doll, I see them, they're the same as they were last night and many many nights before hand"
You let out an impatient huff
"that doesn't make them any less beautiful." a mischievous glint hides in your eyes "now wouldn't it be so dreadfully terrible if I got bored looking at you just because I've already seen you before?" You fake a yawn and look at him eyes seething with boredom
"It would be so dreadful considering I was about to propose to you"
There is no other word to describe what you felt other than shocked. You had been an item for quite some time, but you never figured he would stick around (and "seal the deal" if you will).
Tears begin to run down your face rambling small words of agreement and love. You had never expected him to..love you that way. He was who he was, a dreadfully popular radio host, and you weren't really anything more than an assistant. People really only listened for him..yet in this moment, he was speaking only for you.
"I love you so dearly my y/n. If life without you exists I do not want to exist through it"
Who cares what they're wearing
On Main Street
Or Saville Row
1934: New Orleans, Alastor's house
The house was empty. He was gone. Fully and truly gone. It had been a year since you'd seen or heard from him and six months since the birth of your son. It didn't feel like your house, it didn't feel like your life anymore. It was all still his. His things still bled into your side of the closet, his last purchase, a book, dust encrusted and unread. The blankets and pillows set on the couch exactly as you both had left them after falling asleep to the rain the night before he left wordlessly. You found yourself sporting one of his shirts more often than your own...until eventually they didn't smell like him anymore. The whole house used to reek of his signature vanilla smell. Theres nothing left here but dust and the crooked board of the desk he insisted he could build himself "just fine".
It's what you wear from ear to ear
And not from head to toe
That matters
1936- New Orleans; ✨that shitty bar you performed at✨
"Get the fuck up you bitch"
You felt his hand tangle in your hair and pull you to your knees. All you could do was groan in pain.
"I'm so sorry it won't happen again I promise"
You mutter almost to yourself. He rolls his eyes shoving you into the counter smashing a glass in the process. Your vision blurs for a second seeing the glass shards decorating your h/c locks in a halo. You feel the blood trickle down your forehead.
"Do you think anyone else would hire you? A whore with nothing to her name and a useless ugly bastard child from god knows who?" You feel angered at his words. Insulting you is one thing, but your child?
But then it sinks in, he's right. The 30s are a sick decade, nothing progressive about them. No one else would hire you. You are lucky to work here..despite it all. You tell yourself anything is better than living on the streets. The mantra doesn't dull the pain but it makes it easier to put up with. You don't have a choice. You have a child to take care of.
"Get rid of him"
you stay silent unsure if you heard him correctly.
"Get rid of the boy. I don't care if you leave him in a box on the street or kill him yourself"
He reaches for a small silver knife under the bar's counter. He places it against your throat.
" y/n..You won't like it if I do it dearest, besides you are saving him the shame of having a mother like you. At least if he's adopted elsewhere he has a chance at a half decent life" he took a deep swig from his un-shattered glass of whiskey, looking at you with such deep distain.
You had never hated anyone the way you hated that man..But he was right. You would never be able to give your baby the best life. It would never get better because you couldn't make it better. So you found a young couple not to far from New Orleans, they took him in, and he got to be happy. he ended up living a successful life. He still is. If nothing else theres that. You know your own misery doesn't automatically allow others to be happier, but at times its what keeps you going.
Your mind is flooded with more and more thoughts. Thousands of little memories pilling themselves on top of you. Who would've thought, even deceased, even owned by Valentino, even trapped in an ever so violent place, the real plight of hell would be your thoughts. You light a cigarette and get out of the tub. You throw on a dark red robe and sit on the vanity's counter to brush your damp hair. The song continues into a jazzy interlude before it reprises again
Your clothes may be Beau Brummelly
They stand out a mile
But, brother
You're never fully dressed
You're never dressed
Without a smile
You stretch out your wings in the mirror, looking at your demonic self. No matter how many times you catch yourself in the mirror, even after ten years of this hellish existence. It still strikes you as odd. You look more or less the same. The same hair color and skin tone, although slightly more grey. The tail was just fucking weird no matter how long you had it. The song erupts into the finale distracting you from your thoughts. You begin to sing along with it, smiling softly. It really does sound like him. The same pink glow takes over the room as well as your body, Your eyes begin to glow that same soft pink, your hair floating above your shoulders.
Who cares what they're wearing
On Main Street
Or Saville Row
It's what you wear from ear to ear
And not from head to toe
You're never fully dressed without a smile
The last line comes out much quieter than the rest. A sense of sadness overtakes you once again as you realize how pathetic this whole night turned out. You'd spent the whole night "Simping", as Velvette would say, over a relationship that ended decades ago. Yikes. The static from the radio clicks up a few notches, You cover your ears at the sudden noise. You quickly reach for the dial in order to turn off the device..And then you hear it. You hear him.
"Dearest.." Its almost unintelligible through the static
You think you've finally fucking lost it. Ten years in Hell and you've officially gone "delulu"...another Velvette saying but it feels fitting.
“y/n.”
He called softly, the static in his voice heavy and nearly unreadable.
You almost didn't believe it.
"Y/n" He repeats the static fizzling out leaving his voice raw and almost natural. Fuck this was real. You didn’t respond. You didn’t know how to. You weren't sure if he could even hear you..how he would respond? Would it be worse if he did? It had been an entire decade since you fell, All of this time- he never bothered to contact you. Why now? Why so much later?... Had he forgotten about you? Did he just..die? You cant discern which is worse...that he had left you and your son and lived a long guilt free life...or that he made no attempt to even speak to you in the decade you had inhabited the same existence.
Ok that was all like exposition and shit..considering part two but I AM VERY TIRED RN
#alastor#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel#fanfic#god this is kinda ass#tumblr is my shit hole and i will scream whatever I want into the void#lol what even is this#alastor died oops#y/n#y/n fics are my last mental defense before massive decline
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