#in conclusion my regular night with my husband

[flowerandblood]

Whimpering men are one thing, but thanks to my husband I discovered something else. Masculine gasps, puffs, sighs, panting, shuddering breaths on the verge of a helpless groan.

Imagine your beloved husband taking you from behind while lying on his side with you, trying to take it slow and not rushing, his raspy, hot breath full of impatience and pleasure envelops your cheek – one of his hands is squeezing your plump breast, the other parting your thighs wide, both of you sighing with delight as he spreads you open on the fat, swollen head of his cock.

A surprised gasp escapes his lips as if he can't believe you're always so tight in the beginning that he can barely fit in, his fingertips dig into the warm skin of your wide-spread thigh, forcing you to let him inside you with your soft mewl of effort – he doesn't say anything, you know his eyes are closed, his focus is only on the fact that he is now deep inside you, wonderfully squeezed from all sides.

Even though you know he tried so hard, his hips involuntarily start to root more aggressively into your thirsty, hot, fleshy core with a loud click of your moisture – since he knows in what position you like it and where you need him to rub you, you are always so eager for him, always so wet for him.

He starts panting loudly with pleasure when he hears your first sweet moans, when he feels your warm walls clench against him, sucking him inside – his teeth bite greedily your neck, shoulders and back as if he is trying to stifle what's coming out of his throat, rooting into you with a loud slaps of his thighs against your buttocks, squeezing your breast in his free hand like a dough, playing with your nipple between his fingers.

Suddenly he slows down with your mumble of displeasure, pretending to tease you, betrayed, however, by the trembling puff that left his chest, by how intensely he's throbbing inside you, clenching his fingers on your thighs as you try to rub against him, preventing you from making any movements, so that he doesn't come just yet.

[theroyalthrones]

BEHIND THE SCENES | Alland, Romagna, Orillia

beginning | previous | next

The night unfurls like a well-worn tale as family cars glide into the courtyard, each arrival a thread in the intricate tapestry of their lives. Laughter dances through the air, warm and inviting, yet Lucian stands at the periphery, ensnared by a web of his own making. The faces of his siblings blur into a vivid tableau of love and familiarity, but within him simmers a storm—questions unasked, regrets unshared. He watches the unfolding scenes with a heavy heart, a silent witness to a joy that feels just out of reach.

transcript below↓↓

It’s a friday night, and Fiona and Liams clan is going to dinner together.

The night is crisp as cars start to pile in the courtyard. The family is back for their monthly get together. A tradition that started when all of Fiona and Liam’s kids started to build lives of their own. A traditions that keeps the connected. Especially since the older girls rarely attend the coffee dates Lucian and Lorraine so regularly frequent.

They are all familiar with the space of course. Having grown up in the palace for most of their childhoods. They arrive individually of course. Fiorella is the first, with her growing family of 4, soon to be 5 with the new edition prominently displayed in her person. She walks with her father, Her husband and sons trailing behind them.

Next to arrive is Flo’s family. She is also a very pregnant individual, and carrying her son. Dorian is with them as the walk through the doors into the dining room. Some of them are already sitting at the table. Florentia gives her toddler to the nanny to keep him occupied during their meal. She walks up to her father, and kisses him on the cheek while he continues chatting with Aleksi. Dorian goes to give Fiorella a greeting, standing behind her chair as she looks up at him in pleasant greetings.

We then see Lucian arrive, not long after Lorraine walks up behind him. She grabs him and holds him back from entering the room for a moment. It might be a bit awkward because the footman is standing there as well, but so is regular royal life. She whisper shouts at him.

Lor (from afar)] Luc?!

Lor(pulling him)] Come with me.

Lor] What’s going on?

Luc] {exasperated} Lorra

Lor] You haven’t picked up my calls! And I read the articles…

Luc] You know better than th—

Lor] I told you not to pursue this!

Luc] Maybe it’s none of your business.

Luc] [Angry] I can’t listen to this right now.

Lor]scoffs Lu-

He walks away into the dining room, Fiorella dogs on Him as he walks in.

Fio] You both are late.

Luc] It’s her fault.

Fio] laughing Clearly they’re lying.

He goes to sit next to Florentia and Dorian. The conversation continues now that he’s there. Florentia whispers to him and dorian looks over at him as well.

Flo] I’m so mad, we only ever hear from you in the news!

D] It’s not really news, is it? More so Tabloids.

Flo] That’s worse! Shocking, isn’t it? What’s true, what isn’t?

Lor] He’s involved with some girl.

Luc]annoyed Lorra-!

Dor] We know that. Even if she’s not actually— uh, what would you say?

Flo] — Committed, people love the jump to conclusions. You’re not gonna tell us?

Luc] Flo exasperated.

Fio] Won’t you give us what we want?

This is the time when Fiona walks into the dining room. everyone has been waiting for her. The stand up at attention, and when she gets to her seat and sits, they all follow suit.

Fiona] Honestly, both of you. You’d think you were paid to argue.

Liam] They’re young, Cara, can’t help it, can they?

Lor] I know, dad! whiny

Fio] You’re twenty-four Lorraine. snarky

The different conversations continue one. And dinner has also been served. Lucian watches sort of detached as conversations whiz around him. Fiona and Fiorella are talking about possibly sending Finnick to a boarding school in another province. Lorraine and Dorian speaking about Cars. Lucian observes it all.

Flo] Why not Gordonstoun?

Fior] Finnick wouldn’t like it in Drossel. So far away… Too cold, It’s a bit far for a boarding school.

Fion] [serious] is that not the point?

Lor] I finally got that spyder we talked about.

Dor] The Porsche?

Lor] What else? she’s a beauty.

Dor] Just how much are you making in that company of yours? Can’t have business at the table, but If I can convince you to sell me a share or too…

Lor] You’re interested?

A few hours later, everyone is leaving. They are full, and want to head back to their homes. They vow to make it to the next monthly dinner. They all will. As Florentia starts to break away from the group, Lucian calls out to her. She tells him that Dorian went to pick Leo up from the nanny

Luc] Hey Florentia!

She stops and turns to him.

Flo] I’m waiting for Dorian. He’s picking Leo up as we speak.

Luc] He’s cute.

Flo] laughing you’re talking about Leo, right? Because if not, we’d have a serious problem.

Luc] laughing as well…

Luc] Are you happy?

Florentia contemplates this for a moment. She is in her second trimester at this point, and what else could she say.

Flo] It gets tough. Work, family, marriage… it all takes its toll. And the compromises! Sometimes it feels like too much. But even so, they’re what bring me the most joy.

When she says they make me happiest. Show Dorian and Leo in the distance of a hallway, waving at their person. Lucian and Florentia look at them from afar. Standing still now instead of walking.

L]Francesca and I… we’re done.

F] Oh, Luc… I’m so sorry.

Luc] "I feel helpless… I don’t know what to do anymore."

Florentia listens intently as Lucian begins to share the story of what Francesca told him, his words tinged with regret and pain.

Luc] "She told me everything, Flo… and I didn’t even see it. I didn’t know… I wish I could’ve. I could’ve done something… anything."

F] Lucian. [softly, disappointedly]

She speaks to him tenderly.

F] I don’t know this… Francesca, but I do know you.

She touches her stomach

F] It’s unimaginable—the pain, the torment. They say a child is a blessing, and that one was yours.

She touches his cheek.

F] If you truly love her, go to her. Set aside your pain, the loss, the betrayal—everything. Think about what she’s endured…

F] "A woman so alone, scared, in a world that feels too big."

F] "Her walls are high, but be the one she might lower them for, or at least the one she could open a door for. Be the one she’s been waiting for."

He pulls her into a hug crying, he kisses her on the cheek. She hits his arm slightly annoyed, but also smug.

L] crying Love you, Flo.

F] Go, don’t wait longer!

Dorian and Leo walk up to meet them in that hall. Dorian gives Leo over to Florentia , florentia with her arms open and kisses grabs at him, and he cooes at her. Lucian stares at them for a moment.

At the end of the post, he goes to Francesca’s apartment. Fully ready to have a strong reconsiliations. but when he knocks on the door, no one answers. He goes to look through a window, and he gasps. We then see that the apartment has been cleared out. They’ve moved out.

[justsheerfilth1]

So i watched Chicago (2002) for the first time last night with my sister ( shes seen it before and was showing me), here are my thoughts:

oh these bitches gay

everyone in this film put their whole pussy into it

that one lass who kills her husband cos he pops gum after shes had a bad day is so real, thats how i feel when i have sensory overload too. bestie just had a bit of the tism

catherine zeta jones should be allowed to commit murder on the regular, it suits her

richard gere the man you are

when youre good to mama goes so fucking hard

the costume design is everything

amos you are precious 😭

i got teary eyed over hunyak

the love lyrics section of " roxie" is how I sound tryna make my essays sound longer

roxie imagining all the women scantily clad every two minute like babygirl... the call is coming from inside the house

my sister is a lesbian and im pretty sure her seeing this movie as a child gave her the source of her lesbian powers

in conclusion: they slayed. literally 💅

[killerskillercaptain]

Husband to be Levi ficlet (Reader's POV)

Author's note : this was one of my first Levi ficlets ever.

You and Levi are getting married tomorrow, reader's pov.

The night before the wedding

Your POV

You looked at your wedding gown hung on the window frame, the light coming from the moon was drenching your dress in an ethereal glow, at this point everything looked like a dream. You were getting married ? and to Captain Ackerman ? Humanity's strongest ?

You couldn't detach your eyes from your white dress, it looked like it was radiating, a soft glowing hue coming from it made you want to stare at it all night. But you had to sleep, tomorrow was the big day.

Your head felt heavy on the soft pillow, your body was ready for a good night of a stressful beauty sleep and your mind was in such a tumultuous state you were afraid you weren't gonna rest.

You toyed nervously with your sheets. Tomorrow... tomorrow you'll be sharing your bed with Levi, this thought sent your face ablaze.

You had pushed away those type of thoughts so far in the back of your mind while you were busy, but right now, in the calmness and the coldness of the night, alone between the stern walls of your room, they resurfaced. Will Levi put his arms around you when you're cold like this ? Will you never be cold again when you're with him ? What kind of husband is he ? Would he put you're well being before his ? Would he hold you close at night ?

His protective conduct on the field was ever so present, especially for you but this isn't titans territory, it isn't about life or death when you two will be sharing a roof, so was his protectiveness situational or would he exhibit just as much attentiveness and alertness in the confine of your peace and in between the sheets...

You were restless, now you really couldn't stop your thoughts and decided to let them do whatever they wanted to. You indulged yourself in all the things you kept locked in your inpatient, soon-to-be-married maiden heart. " What does he sound like in the morning? ", "What does his skin feel like under your fingertips ?", "What does it feel like to be held by humanity's strongest ?".

When you were on the field, you mostly knew him as ruthless, drenched in frenzy and bathed in anger, greeting teeth at destiny.

But that was the solider Levi, what humanity needed him to be. As for the comrade Levi, the regular citizen inside the wall Levi, the off-duty Levi, he had one of the most caring hearts you had ever seen in a man. You were always disappointed that this side of him never made it to the ears of the people who granted him all sorts of titles.

During the time you two spent inside the survey cops, you got a glimpse of what the Ackerman really was like. You saw him demonstrate the most selfless of acts and the most caring of gestures, you sometimes even questioned how those two sides of him inhabit the same person, lift the same spirit, but that's what Mr.Ackerman was, and have always been : a special breed.

You quickly came to the conclusion that you had to be the most selfless person to answer the call coercing you to ensure the world's safety, but you sure had to summon a monster in you in order to be able to unsure said safety. That was probably how is inner mechanics worked and you hoped he could find it in him to put his engines to rest when you'll be his bride.

His devotion to causes he deemed worthy and his ever growing compassion is what made you grow incredibly attached and loyal to him. You did wonder if you two were a cause he deemed worthy of his allegiance, and he had answered that question many times already.

"Levi..." you mewled to yourself in the quiet crisp air of your room, the name sounded new now, and you wondered if it would leave your mouth when you two would make love as husband and wife, you wondered what his name would sound like when you'll be basking in his presence.

Your head was spinning with insatiable thoughts, your spirit was aching, you were aching for Levi's presence at this moment.

You two lived in separate quarters, not letting your relationship mingle with your duties and lives as soldiers, you kept an exemplary conduct and both of you were mature enough to keep it low while nurturing the undeniable bond that was growing between you, a bond filling every space between the two of you.

You and Levi agreeing to an engagement quite soon came almost naturally : you knew you wanted to engrave your bond for as long as you two were alive, engrave it somewhere, be it a ring, a ceremony or a sincere vow.

Your body was quivering with the same restlessness before an expedition beyond the walls, but this time, it was restless for a certain man. You wondered if he was sleeping, if he was as relentlessly preoccupied as you were right now. Just when you asked yourself that question in the inner confine of your intimate mind, you heard three distinct knocks on your door.

[cartcop]

alright casual 911 viewer roomie was traveling this week so we had to rewatch 6x11 last night, her thoughts below:

"This child (Jee)'s sleep schedule is a plot device"

when Buck get's rolled into the hospital "too many sad dads. and one very sad husband"

"HIS KIDS????????" shouted so loudly and for so long that she missed the teacher reveal and we had to rewind

Thunder by Imagine Dragons playing when coma!Buck shows up at Chimney's apartment had us both dying laughing

"No one's tchotchkes are safe" about the train in Chimney's apartment

"I hope the sister and the guy (Madney) get married at the firehouse and then gay dads (Buddie) decide to get married too in a Mamma Mia-esque 'everyone lives happily ever after' way"

Athena saying "Buck is going to be fine. He has to be" roomie responded "because this is a TV show. And he's hot. And he's one of the only single characters left"

"Awwww dream Chimney called him Buck"

"Which one is that one. They all look so similar" this is baffling to me. She got Buck, Eddie, and Doug confused all episode.

Hen saying "you'd be angry too if you lost your kid" roomie goes "THEY KILLED THE KID?????????" once again so loudly that she missed the context of how Eddie lost Christopher

"How are they not making a consistently bigger deal out of them co-raising this child. I mean I guess it's not that weird. We might have a kid together" apparently we might have a kid together, this was news to me

When Chris tells Buck he has to "come back" and coma!Buck echoes it with "I think maybe I'm supposed to come back to where it all started" she fully started sobbing. She had never seen Chris before watching this episode

"I thought she was handing him a head of cauliflower" when May is forcing a sandwich on Bobby outside the hospital. "Don't tell the people on the internet I said that!!!!" I am telling them

Had to pause for a good 15 minutes to explain the 118 extended family tree. She did not get it. To be fair the Buckley and Han parents being around does make it REALLY confusing

"ANOTHER OMINOUS TCHOTCHKE!!!!" She loved the trauma tchotchkes

"Love snarky dead drug addict dad. Wish he could stick around"

"Love how this guy floated no other alternatives beyond being in a coma dream. Like it couldn't just be a regular dream. He hasn't entertained the option that he like accidentally took a hallucinogenic drug or something" I informed her he has in fact been accidentally drugged before "Okay so I'm hearing that there were multiple other conclusions he could've come to. But he just knew it was a coma dream. okay."

"oh he knew he was in a coma dream but he was SHOCKED to see his body in a coma"

"This show is so corny"

Buck telling his parents "I know you did the best you could" roomie says "NO THEY DID NOT. They My Sister's Keeper'd you dude"

"Oop...okay. I guess" at evil!Buck

"Okay now hurry up and fix your self esteem so you can take a breath"

"through the power of self love he has summoned a magical dream ax"

Bobby asking what he was like in the dream she goes "you were like a.....spooky jokester"

"What the fuck is up with the couch metaphor"

[bluebirdsongs16]

I've concluded if I ever write an Aziraphale/Crowley fic, it will feature food. Heavily. It's a natural conclusion given I am a foodie and Aziraphale is not just a foodie but given he's been around for all of human history might even say he's both the OG and GOAT foodie.

Well. My husband and I went out for dinner last night and it gave me some ~inspiration~.

Which I am cataloguing here, because when you take a bite of something and it makes you moan and cover your face with your hands and sway at the dinner table in public*, it deserves to be recognized and remembered.

*No lie, I did all of these things, and I'm not ashamed in the slightest.

In my moment of bliss, I decided one of the "fascinating little restaurants where they know you" (as Crowley put it) that Aziraphale favors would absolutely hands-down 100% serve duck breast with tart pitted green olives in a jus with orange and fennel, to be soaked up with oven-warmed baguette.

*Note to self: look up a very fancy red wine to go with Aziraphale's entrée of duck and orange and fennel, because while a foodie I am, a wine fan I am not.

The restaurant also does a dessert of fresh baguette lavished with warm melted bittersweet chocolate. So simple a concept, and yet we felt it put any concept of a regular pain du chocolat to absolute shame. The chocolate was also messy and sticky and hard to get off our fingers. If that isn't a romance fic writing itself, I don't know what is.

[asirensrage]

Unfinished Crossover - It's Always Sunny in the Crossfire?

So I was talking to @purpleyearning about It's Always Sunny In Philidelphia and mentioned having an unfinished scene/oneshot of my spn ocs meeting the gang of It's Always Sunny. I couldn't figure out a good way to share it with how long it is (aside from putting it in a google doc) so here we are.

My spn OCs Michelle and Kelly from Caught in the Crossfire heading to Paddy's Pub. It takes place years after the events of Crossfire. It's in Michelle's POV.

Warnings: everything you expect from It's Always Sunny and Supernatural, technically a bit of violence. also it's unfinished.

I stared at the place. “Are you sure this is it? The sign isn’t even fully lit.”

“You can’t judge a place just because of the sign,” Kelly said. “You know how much neon signs cost?”

“Not as much as you’re acting like they do. Why are we here again?”

“Dean saw the sign on the way in. We watched Boondock Saints last night.”

“And he wants an Irish bar…” I said, drawing the conclusion. 

“Yup.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Did they say how long this was going to take?” 

“I think it’s just a haunting. Come on, let’s just go in. How bad can it be?”

Famous last words. 

“And you think I’m the jinx,” I muttered. The place was just about empty. There was a small group of people at the bar, talking to the bartender. They all looked up as we entered. “Can we go home?”

“No.” Kelly put a hand on my back and pushed me forward. I glanced around, looking at the couple of booths and trying to place where the doors were. Kelly led the way to the bar. I trusted her to keep an eye on the people in front of her while I watched her back. 

“Uh, who are you?” I looked over to see the man behind the bar leaning towards us. “Haven’t seen you around before.” He was smiling at both of us.

“Yeah,” one of the other men from the group that had been talking when they walked in slid up next to Kelly. “I’m Mac.”

“I’m Dennis,” the one behind the bar said. “Gotta say you two are...beautiful.” 

“Yeah,” Mac agreed.

“Definitely not the usual type we get around here.” 

“Hey!” I heard the girl down the bar exclaim. Clearly, she heard him. 

“So who are you?” Mac asked. 

“Customers?” Kelly offered. “We’re just passing through town. We’re meeting our boys here.”

“Your...boys?” The two men looked between each other. The one behind the bar made a face. “Like kids?”

“No,” I said, looking at them. “My husband and her fiance.” 

“Oh,” Dennis pulled back slightly. 

“Can I get a beer and…” Kelly asked. She glanced at me. “You want a coke?” 

“Yeah, that’s fine,” I muttered. This place was more of a dive than usual. 

“A coke? You mean a rum and coke?”

I turned at that and faced Dennis. “No. A regular coke. I don’t drink.” 

He stared at me for a moment like I was an alien. “Hey, guys! This girl doesn’t drink!” 

“What?” A chorus of voices echoed back. 

I tried not to sigh. I got this reaction a lot when people found out. Especially since I was a bartender. Kelly and I were quickly surrounded. 

“What type of person doesn’t drink?” The woman of the group asked. 

“One who knows herself,” Kelly said. “She doesn’t need to explain.” 

I shifted slightly, keeping an eye on the people around us. “It’s fine,” I said. 

“What’s the reason? You pregnant?” the girl asked, eyes glancing down at me. 

“No,” I said. Not that I didn’t suspect Sam wanted me to be. “I don’t like drinking because I like to be in control if I need to fight.”

“Woah ho ho!” The girl leaned back and said. She was oddly defensive. “If you needed to fight?”

“Do you fight?” One other guy asked, popping out from around her. He was shorter than the others from what I could tell. He looked closer to my height. 

“How many of there are you?” Kelly asked. 

“Oh! I’m Charlie!” the shorter man asked. “That’s Dee.” He motioned to the girl in front of me. “Who are you?”

“I’m Kelly, this is Michelle,” Kelly introduced us. We still hadn’t been given the drinks. 

“What do you mean fight?” Mac asked, moving around the others to come up to my side. He looked like he was trying to flex. “Cause, you know, I know Karate.” He punched the air in front of him. I leaned back slightly, making sure Kelly and I were both out of the way. 

“Trust me,” Kels said. “You don’t want to fight her.” 

They all laughed. 

“I wouldn’t fight her,” Mac said. “You’re a girl. I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“Drinks?” I asked, ignoring the taunt. Dennis opened a beer and handed it over. I watched as he poured the coke. I muttered thanks before taking it. I tried not to look too closely at how clean the glass was. 

“More like she doesn’t want to hurt you,” Kelly said. 

“Hurt me?” 

The man behind the bar laughed. “You’re not going to hurt Mac.” 

“No way,” Charlie said. “Mac’s like...super awesome at fighting.” The man in question started flexing again. 

Kelly looked at them. “Mish runs security at our bar.”

“No shit,” Mac said. “That’s what I do.”

“Wait,” Dee cut in. “You guys run a bar?” 

“Is that what this is?” Dennis asked. “You trying to scope out the competition?”

“We own a bar,” Kelly said. “Back in South Dakota.”

“South Dakota?” Charlie asked. “Where is that?” 

I glanced over at Kelly. “Below North Dakota?” I offered. I reached for my phone, trying to figure out what time it was. God, let the guys get here quickly. My phone...was not in my pocket. “Damn it.”

“What?” Kelly asked. 

“I think I left my phone in the car.”

She did not look impressed. “Of course you did.” 

I shrugged. I needed to find a way to keep it on me. At least so I stopped getting lectured about it. I was pretty sure Sam gave up on me already. 

“Must not be a busy place if you run security,” Dee laughed. 

“Yeah,” Mac agreed. “What is it? A bar for ladies?” He stopped as if he realized what he just said. “Wait, where’s this bar?” 

“Is it a bar for women?” Dennis asked, leaning closer between us. I shifted back slightly, unnerved by the intrusion. They really had no qualms about personal space. “You two need some men to spice the place up?” 

“No,” I deadpanned. 

“What she means,” Kelly translated, “is that it’s a bar for anyone. There are enough men there, but thanks.” She made me sound much nicer than I felt. 

“So why you here?” Charlie asked. “You come to Philly for the sights? Are there sights in Philly?” 

“We’re just passing through,” Kelly said. “We’re on our way home from New York.” 

“Oh, oh! New York?” They all looked at each other. “What, uh, whatcha doing in New York?” Dennis asked. 

“Sightseeing. This one wanted to go to a musical,” Kelly pointed at me. 

“Rowena gave me box seats. Why would I not go?” I shrugged.

“Because you can afford them yourself,” Kelly quipped back. 

“Box seats?” Dee asked. “What musical was it? Broadway? Off-broadway?” She started moving closer to me as if trying to physically intimidate me into telling her. The woman looked like I could break her if I knocked her down. 

I stood up straight, facing her. “Yeah.” I knew they didn’t mean anything really malicious, but I didn’t like people, more so strangers, in my personal space. 

“Woah,” Kelly moved in between us. “Let’s not get blood on the floor, okay? I don’t want to pay anyone’s hospital bills.” 

Dee backed up. “I wasn’t going to jump her.”

“More worried about you,” Kels admitted to her. “You don’t want to get into a fight with Michelle. Trust me.” 

“Really?” Charlie asked. He looked me over. “You don’t look like you fight.” 

“Looks can be deceiving,” I drawled. I gave him a slight smile. So far, he seemed to be the less obnoxious of the group.

“Well, uh, alright,” Dennis spoke up. “I have an idea.” 

I glanced at Kelly, unsure about what was coming next. There was something about these guys that was kind of familiar. Reminded me of some of the people I knew when I was a kid. I tried not to think about that.  

“Let’s see who’s the better fighter? Mac or...this girl,” Dennis waved towards me. 

“I’m not going to fight a girl!” Mac called out. 

“I’d rather not,” I said. 

“Come on,” Dennis prompted. “You win, you and your friends drink for free. You said you were meeting people, right?” 

“And if she loses?” Kelly asked, interest already piqued. 

“I get a kiss,” Dennis said with a grin.

“Hey!” Mac called out. 

“Fine,” Dennis rolled his eyes. “We both do.” 

Kelly looked like she was trying not to grin. She turned towards me. “What do you say, Mish? Wanna drink for free?”

“I don’t drink,” I said. “But I already know I’m not getting out of it.”

“Don’t worry, Sam will make it worth your while,” she grinned. “Try not to break anything though, okay?” 

“I’ll do my best.” I glanced around the bar. “Over there has the most space.”

“Woah!” Mac called out. “Is no one going to ask me if I want to do this?” There was a chorus of “no”s. “I’m not going to hit a girl!” 

“You won’t,” I said. “If it makes you feel better, we’ll go for being pinned, okay? No blood.” He looked to be considering it. I was pretty sure he wouldn’t have hit me regardless. The technique he showed earlier, or lack of any, didn’t make me worry. 

“Well, okay!” He seemed much more enthused now. “I have to warn you though, I’m a master at karate!” He moved towards the open space by the pool table, arms flailing. “Don’t be alarmed if I move too fast!” 

“I have a rule,” I called out. “If I incapacitate you, without actually hurting you, you have to accept it, okay?” 

“I’d accept if I were you,” Kelly called out. They all followed, including Dennis coming out from behind the bar, beer in hand. 

“Yeah, okay,” Mac said. It was clear he didn’t believe it. Oh well. He would. 

"Woah woah woah! What's going on here?” 

We all turned at the new voice. An older man was coming towards us. He looked to be about Kelly’s height. Might have been shorter, actually. That was weird to see. 

“Mac’s gonna fight a girl!” Charlie called out. 

“He’s going to get beaten by a girl,” Kelly said. 

“No shit,” the newcomer said. “Are we betting? Who’s putting money on this?” 

“I will,” Kelly grinned. “How much you willing to bet?”

“What’re you good for?” he asked, leering at her. 

“A hundred?” Kelly offered. It was a high bet, but she knew me well. 

“A hundred!” The man’s eyes widened and then I saw him grin. “Well, hold on. Let me look at the fighters.” He looked over Mac and then at me. I tried not to roll my eyes as he took his time. He looked back at Kels. “Who you betting for?”

“Obviously that she’ll win,” Kelly said. 

“Alright, a hundred on Mac. Any of you losers want in?” He looked around. 

“We, uh, we already have a bet,” Dennis said. 

“Oh yeah?” 

“These idiots bet them that if she loses, they get a kiss,” Dee said. She was leaning against the bar, looking only half interested. 

“And free drinks for us and the boys who are meeting us here when she wins,” Kelly said. 

“When?” the man asked. “I want to change my bet. A hundred on the girl.”

Kelly burst out laughing. “Doesn’t work if no one’s betting on him,” she motioned to Mac.

“Hey!” He looked affronted. “Come on, Frank. I can take her.” 

“You sure?” The so-called Frank walked up to Mac. 

“It’s not first blood,” I said. “It’s whoever pins the other first.” 

“Oh!” Frank turned back to Kelly. “I changed my mind. I pick Mac.” 

Kelly just raised her beer at me, silently toasting. “So who’s the judge?”

“I am!” Charlie jumped forwards. 

I glanced around, taking note of the space around us. There wasn’t too much but I didn’t think I’d need a lot. 

“Okay!” Charlie was suddenly standing between us. “Rules are to pin the other first. First one who can’t move, loses!” He raised his arms and dropped them. “Fight!” 

Mac fell back into a stance that was way too wide. I felt like Jane, knowing that all it would take was a quick tap between his legs and he’d be down. 

“I hope you’re ready,” Mac said, waving his arms again, “for this!” 

I moved to the side as he lunged forward. He stumbled past me. I turned to face him. 

He looked surprised that he hadn’t grabbed me. “Woah, you’re fast.” 

“I warned you,” I said lightly. 

“Come on, Mac!” I heard someone call out. “Get her!” 

He ran forwards again and I twisted, moving out of the way. 

“Okay, okay,” Mac said, shaking it off. 

“Stop playing, Mish!” Kelly called out. 

“Fine,” I said. I adjusted my stance into one that was more steady. “Come on, one more time.” 

He straightened. “What does that mean?” He looked over at his friends. “One more time?”

“I don’t know, Mac. Why don’t you try to actually knock her down?” Dennis drawled.

“Yeah, take that bitch out!” Dee called out. Kelly shot her a sharp look. 

Mac stepped forward again, arms waving. I wasn’t sure if he was trying to actually hit me, but he had no form. I darted forwards, ducking under and grabbing his arm, pulling him backwards. I aimed a kick at the back of his knee, knocking him down. I yanked up his arm, twisting slightly as I pulled it back. 

Mac screamed, more in fear than anything. I hadn’t pulled it that hard. 

“Oh my god!” 

“He’s fine,” I called out. “Do you yield?” I asked. 

“Yeah!”

“Let go of him!” 

I dropped his arm. “I win.” I turned to the others. “Free drinks, right?” 

They were all staring at me in shock. Except Kelly. She was grinning as she drank her beer. 

“Woah!” Charlie yelled. “How’d you do that?” 

I shrugged. “He was flailing so much it wasn’t hard to grab an arm, let him move past me and use that force against him.” 

Dee started laughing. “Ah ha!” she pointed at Mac. “You got beaten by a girl!”

Dennis’s face lit up. “He did! You did!” 

I walked over to Kelly and took my drink back from her, ignoring how the group had started to tease Mac about losing. The man was getting agitated about it. 

“Let’s sit,” Kelly said. She looked around before heading for the bar. “Come on. Gotta waste time while we wait for the boys. Might as well be entertained by…whatever this is.” she motioned to the group. “Besides, you just won us free drinks.” 

Despite the look of the place when they first arrived, it wasn’t completely empty as night fell. I got wrapped up in showing Charlie and Dee how to throw a proper punch. Now, I was listening as the guy Dennis was trying to convince Kelly that sleeping with him wouldn’t be cheating because she wasn’t married. She had it handled. 

“I’m telling you,” Frank said. I tried to ignore him. He shifted a bit closer. “You go in, lose a couple rounds and then win the last one. We’ll make tons!”

“I’m not entering a fight club,” I said. 

“Isn’t the rule not to talk about Fight Club?” I turned at the familiar voice, holding up a hand for a high five. Dean gave it before he wrapped an arm around Kels and kissed her cheek. I looked around, spotting Sam as he walked in. His eyes found mine and he raised his eyebrows in question. I nodded slightly, admitting that yes, we really were here. 

He moved towards us, glancing around. 

“Well hello,” Dee practically slid in front of him. “Who are you?” 

“Excuse me,” Sam said as he moved around her. I caught the incredulous look on her face before he got close. He leaned down to kiss me. I stretched up slightly to meet his lips. “Hey, baby.”

“Hi, handsome,” I said with a smile. “How’d it go?”

“She was a bitch,” Dean chimed in. 

“It was fine,” Sam said. “The usual.” 

“So. You’re the boys,” Dennis said as he slid in place in front of us. “You, uh, left these beautiful women all alone today. Do that often?” 

Dean and Sam shared a look and I tried not to roll my eyes. 

“They can handle themselves,” Dean said.

[mypsychoticmoodboard]

August 29, 2024:

Remember when I was talking about getting a new job? Well I got the job that I was searching and praying for! For so long I was on the precipice of whether or not to leave my old job. I was there for almost three years. I knew how to do everything. I could have stayed. But just because I could, doesn't mean that I should. I constantly felt so overwhelmed, and I would go home and just want to go to bed. That is no way to live—not really. It was really hard for me to come to that conclusion despite feeling the way that I felt because of how much I had grown to love my coworkers.

It was funny too because the night before my first day, I was laying in bed with my husband telling him about how difficult I felt that this was going to be because I would be going from somewhere everyone knew and liked me to somewhere where no one knew much about me at all. I related it to the show "Cheers" and sang the song, "Sometimes you want to go where everyone knows your name."

And fast forward to my first day, that concern that I had addressed and referenced the show "Cheers" came up two times from two different people on my first day,

The first time was when I was getting a tour of the campus (I am working on a college campus). Everyone was coming up to my coworker and saying hi to her and to this she said something like, "Sometimes I feel like I am on the show Cheers here. It's like everyone knows everyone's name." And in that moment, it is like fireworks went off in my head. I knew that it was a sign from the universe because of the reference. I knew that it was the universe telling me that I am in exactly the place that I need to be, that I didn't need to be scared or nervous, and that this change was a good one. It felt unreal. And for those who will say it is just a coincidence; I don't believe in coincidences.

The second time was my coworker taking me to lunch to her favorite place on campus. She mentioned that she likes to go there often. The workers knew her name and she knew theirs. She said that she likes being a regular somewhere because it makes her feel like she is on the show "Cheers" when they all say "HEY ____!" That was my second confirmation. Then i really knew that I had nothing to worry about at all. I am being taken care of.

I love getting big confirmations like that. I get them every once in a while, and it's the kind that as soon as you get them, you know exactly what they are in reference to. You just know. And I think that is so cool.

[blessyourhondahurley]

Sparks Fly

The conclusion of yesterday's story. Dean performs at open mic night while Castiel swoons behind the counter.

Suptober prompt: Crossover Flufftober prompt: "You kept this?" Fictober prompt: "You’re making my head hurt." Inktober prompt: Forget

(Read on AO3)

The door closes behind the handsome man's departing back. Castiel tries desperately to look uninterested, busying himself with the dials on the front of the espresso machine. But he can't hide it: he's flustered, and he feels flushed heat creeping up his cheeks and across the back of his neck.

At the counter, Inias leans over the sign up sheet, then straightens again to crow, “Your future husband has a name! Dean Winchester, or whatever!” His normal, laconic tone has sharpened into something sarcastic, something with bite.

“Inias, please,” Castiel mutters, but his fellow clerk is relentless.

“Castiel Winchester. Mr. and Mr. Dean Winchester. The Messrs Winchester-Novak,” he singsongs, his mouth twisted into a nasty smirk.

“You're making my head hurt.” It's a feeble protest, which Inias gleefully ignores.

“Yours will be a June wedding, I think..”

Castiel groans, “What do I need to do to get you to forget about my... interest in that man?”

“Cover my next five clopens, and I'll never mention your pathetic crush again.”

“Done.”

~~~~~

That Tuesday is a particularly slow day at the store, which gives poor Castiel plenty of time to overthink. Inias had referred to his “pathetic crush,” an unfortunately apt turn of phrase. The man, Dean, is a regular customer at Eagle Eye, and Castiel is absolutely, pitifully besotted with him, and has been for months.

At first it was simple physical attraction. He's gorgeous, with a strong jaw, sparkling green eyes, and full, kissable lips. But it's Dean's literary taste that's got his head so completely turned around. He's in the store at least once a week, buying a book or two at every visit. His preferences run in particular to Vonnegut, Brautigan, and the Beat poets, but he's also taken home some Tolstoy, some Faulkner, a bit of LeGuin and VanderMeer... A few times, he's asked Castiel for a recommendation. He's bought every title Castiel has suggested, on the spot, and come back later to rave about each one.

There's a particularly lovely smile that comes across his face when he's talking about a good book. It's intoxicating to see. Castiel has wasted far too many of his idle hours lost in fantasies of what else he could do to bring that beautiful smile to light.

And now, this evening, Dean will be performing, right here in front of him, in this store. Castiel wonders what talent the man will display. Music? Dance? Poetry? Whatever he does tonight, surely it will be perfection.

~~~~~

Dean's performance is... Not perfection.

He's the fourth act of the night, right after Marv's weekly recitation of his latest mediocre poems. He stumbles and almost trips as he steps up to the microphone, both hands wrapped awkwardly around his guitar.

“Hi, my name's Dean,” he says. He's too loud, too close to the mic. He winces, then tries again, keeping his voice softer. “Sorry, um, hi. So... Wow, there's a lot of cameras in here.” He looks down and fusses with his guitar strap for a moment, takes a couple of deep breaths. “Look, I mean, I don't... I don't do... this? So, if I horribly mess up, and get really nervous, it's uh... Because I don't do this.”

The crowd is stocked with Tuesday-night regulars who have seen their share of nervous newbies. They clap and whistle in encouragement. Dean blanches at the sound.

“Here's the problem,” he says, wrapping a visibly trembling hand around the microphone stand. “I don't play, in front of people..? So, pretend you're not here.”

The crowd chuckles. Dean gives them a weak smile, then he chides, “Alright, shh, you're not supposed to be here.”

Another deep breath. He looks down at the neck of the guitar and carefully positions his fingers for his opening chord.

“Okay, here goes...”

The song he's chosen was a big enough crossover hit in its day that even Castiel, unfamiliar as he is with a lot of modern music, kind of recognizes it. It's a song about wanting someone, a plea to the object of an unrequited desire. Dean plays it stripped down, and slow. This is probably out of necessity; it's clear that he's a just a beginner on the guitar. His hands fumble at every chord change, and he struggles to keep the beat steady as he sings.

His voice, though... It's warm and honey-rich, and he packs the lyrics with all the longing a heart can hold. When he calls, “Meet me in the pouring rain, kiss me on the sidewalk,” Castiel's toes curl in his sneakers with the strength of his longing to do exactly that.

As the song goes on, Dean relaxes a bit. He even manages to stop staring down at his hands and look  out at the audience a little. Across the crowded room, somehow, his gaze finds Castiel's and locks on, and there's that smile, the one he dreams about far too often.

Dean sings, “Get me with those blue eyes, baby, as the lights go down.” Castiel knows the lyrics well enough to recognize that Dean's made a change to the color, and to understand what that might mean. For the first time since the start of his “pathetic crush,” he feels a stirring of hope. He smiles back, and quietly sings along.

~~~~~

On their first anniversary, Cas shows Dean a video of the performance. At the sound of the first clunky chord, Dean's pawing at the screen, too embarrassed to look directly at it. Cas laughs and holds the phone out of his boyfriend's reach.

Dean groans and covers his eyes. “Ohhh my God, Cas! You kept this? Where did you even get it??”

“The store records all of the open mic nights. Sometimes we use clips on our social media, with permission. Sometimes the performers request copies for their own use.” He kisses Dean on the nose. “Sometimes they're treasured mementos of unforgettable nights.”

Dean leans in and kisses him back, full on the mouth. Then he pulls away and smiles. “That was an unforgettable night. The first of many. I'm hoping for many, many more. But please never make me watch that again. I can't believe how bad I used to be.”

“You were never bad, my love,” Cas corrects him. “You were just starting out. I enjoyed listening to you then, and I enjoy listening to you now that you're more skillful.”

“Yeah?” Dean asks, and his boyfriend nods. “Well, I think you're really gonna like the song I wrote for you last night. It's so much better than that t-swizzle cover.”

He grabs his guitar, and Cas settles back to listen.

[separatist-apologist]

rank the characters in order of their thoughts on furries LMAOOOOOOO

STOP IT- okay fine.

17. Tarquin- Sweet, seahorse Tarquin. He's not AGAINST it...but when he learns about what's happening in Autumn and Spring, he's confused and concerned and maybe upset? Shape of DOLPHIN, Tarquin can't participate

16. Rhysand- Darling, I don't NEED to take an animal form and why would you want me to when I'm so magnificent OKAY ALRIGHT RHYS JESUS CHRIST WE GET IT. Tone it down. You're just okay.

15. Amren- Has written more than one twitter thread on the problems with these Fae and their animal/furry fucking ways. They've lost the PAGENTRY of what it means to be Fae. Says this unironically while sipping human blood.

14. Mor- Just not for her. Trying not to judge but like, she is DEFINITELY judging people for what they do in the privacy of their own bedroom. Join Calanmai? Uh no thank you. Not even curious.

13. Nesta- Arched eyebrow, curled lip when she learns about Lucien. I mean...if you're into that sort of thing I GUESS. You'll never catch Nesta with her cheek in the fucking dirt. She does the fucking, not the other way around.

12. Emerie- You'll never catch her DEAD with one of those half bat ding-dongs. No amount of Cassian explaining that wings do not equal furries will ever convince her. She knows what those men are like.

11. Gwyn- Respectful of what the rest of this list is up to, but would prefer a regular man. Ignores the man she routinely has sex with is half bat. Cognitive dissonance, we know her well.

10. Azriel- Half bat. Furry curious when he's punching Eris in the face at the High Lords meeting. Definitely listening a little TOO closely when he's spying on Spring. WHAT NO HES NOT INTERESTED THIS IS JUST FOR INFORMATION. Don't look at him like that.

9. Cassian- Disappointed he doesn't have an animal form. "Touch my wings, Nesta" he demands one night. "Look I bought this headband with ears-" No okay, yeah I'll put that away. Cassian would GO to Calanmai and fuck someone in a cave as a beast. Wishes he was a dragon (secret)

8. Feyre- Looking too hard and Helion and Rhys in beast form. I saw those descriptions Miss Ma'am. A thing of nightmares? A thing of daylight? Okay, alright. I'm sure you NEVER thought about yourself between them. OG furry fucker, given her time in Spring.

7. Helion- Look my man is liberated. He'll do anything once. Beast form, a fursuit, whatever. Cassian wants to wear little cat ears? Quick, Helion, this is your chance! Man is in love with an Autumn Court resident, he's too used to their strangeness.

6. Eris- Genuinely surprised people think it's weird. "We're MALE- practically animals already" he drawls. "FRENZY IS FOR ANIMALS" and he should say it. Everyone forgets that, but SJM should have taken the mate/frenzy trope to its natural conclusion

5. Jurian- Wife is a goddamn bird 12 hours of the day. He's sitting in this conversation like, what a bunch of pussies.

4. Vassa- Is a bird for 12 hours of the day. Husband does not seem to mind. No, technically theyve never DONE anything while she was a bird, but sometimes the humans stare when she's perched on his shoulder rubbing her head against his cheek.

3. Elain- Fox tail butt plug, a whole drawer of little headbands, my girl is a secret FREAK and I stand by that. Has nothing to add to this conversation, flaming cheeks when Lucien makes some small comment about it. Drags him home and lets him put her on his knees anyway.

2. Lucien- Helions son, former resident of the Spring Court orgy, pretend son of Autumn Lucien Vanserra Spell-Cleaver Archeron is a big fucking fan of furries.

TAMLIN- YOU ALREADY KNEW. FURSONA? YOU MEAN MY BEAST FORM RIGHT? Roaming the woods with claw and fur and talons doesn't mean he stopped having needs.

[lumosandnoxwriting]

No Returns or Exchanges - Fred Weasley

Title: No Returns or Exchanges Pairing: Fred x Fem!Reader Summary: Fred and Y/N get to start their happily ever after A/N: this is for @mrs-fredweasley​. I usually do my requests in the order I receive them, but she asked for some fluff with Fred and the reader getting married and having kids for her birthday, and since she’s my birthday twin I couldn’t resist! Feedback is always welcome and requests are open!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“There you are, Mrs. Weasley,” Fred greets as he sneaks up behind Y/N and wraps his arms around her waist.

“I’m not Mrs. Weasley quite yet, Freddie,” Y/N teases as she turns around in his embrace. Her arms wind around Fred’s neck and she pulls him in for a brief kiss. “You’re about twelve hours too early.”

Fred starts to slowly sway them back and forth, humming quietly to the music drifting through the air from the large tent behind them. Fred and Y/N aren’t getting married until tomorrow, but Ginny, Y/N’s maid of honor, insisted on mixing some muggle wedding traditions in alongside the regular wizard ones. Tonight, had been what Ginny referred to as the rehearsal dinner, where the wedding party and their close family went through the ceremony that will take place tomorrow, before having a mini celebration together.

“Do I really have to go home without you?” Fred pouts. Another muggle tradition Ginny insisted on was that Y/N and Fred would not be allowed to see each other until Y/N was heading down the aisle towards him.

Y/N giggles and kisses Fred’s pout away. “I think it’ll be romantic. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, isn’t that what they say?” Y/N rolls her eyes playfully when Fred frowns at her. “Oh, come on, Freddie. It’s only one night apart.”

“When’s the last time we spent more than 1 hour apart outside of work?” Fred ask, looking down at Y/N expectantly. When she doesn’t answer he smiles. “Exactly. One night is going to feel like an eternity.”

“Okay so maybe it’ll be a bit hard,” Y/N concedes. “But after tomorrow we’ll get to spend every day for the rest of eternity together, that’s gotta be worth it, isn’t it? And have you forgotten that we’ll be spending the next two weeks completely alone together in a cabin in the woods.”

“How can I forget about that?” Fred muses. “Just me, you, and as little clothing as possible for two weeks straight. That’s the only kind of honeymoon I want.” Most of their friends and family were surprised that Fred and Y/N didn’t want to go on some adventurous honeymoon but wanted to just relax together in some secluded forest. But for them that seemed like the only option. It’s only been 13 months since the war ended, and after Fred’s near-death experience he and Y/N decided to take life slow for a bit.

“So that’s why you wanted to go somewhere secluded,” Y/N says, realization washing over her.

Fred laughs. “I may have had ulterior motives when I convinced you to book the cabin in the woods over the beach house.”

Y/N shakes her head fondly. “You’re a bit of a menace, you know that?”

“Yeah but I’m your menace. And you’re way past the return or exchange date so you’re stuck with me,” he jokes, leaning down to press a kiss to Y/N’s forehead.

“Oi, lover boy!” George calls from behind them. Y/N and Fred break apart so they can look at him. “Ginny says it’s time to go, and she’s already wacked me over the head once so get your arse over here before she does it again.”

“See you tomorrow?” Fred asks as he leans down to kiss Y/N briefly.

“Meet you at the altar,” she confirms with a smile.

-

“You sure you wanna marry my brother?” Ginny teases as they get ready to walk down the aisle. “Because I could cause a distraction if you wanna slip out the front door and run away.”

Y/N rolls her eyes and grabs the bouquet Ginny hands her.  “Ha, ha. Very funny, Gin.”

Ginny beams at her before taking her place in line. Y/N takes a deep breath as the music starts, silently regretting that she chose to not have her dad walk her down the aisle. A few months ago, she had bashed the archaic notion of someone giving her away to Fred as if she were a piece of property, but as nerves start to bubble in her stomach she wishes she had someone by her side to calm her down. Everyone in front of her starts to slowly head towards the alter, and she fixes her dress one last time before she follows behind Ginny.

“Holy shit, Y/N,” Fred whispers as she takes his hands at the altar. There are tears in his eyes, and a few leak down his cheeks. “You’re absolutely stunning.”

Y/N blushes, trying to blink away her own tears as to not ruin her makeup. “You clean up quite nice as well, Freddie.”

Fred smiles down at her, maintaining eye contact as the official from the ministry starts the ceremony. Fred squeezes Y/N’s hands tightly as he talks, only half paying attention to what he’s saying. His thoughts are completely consumed with Y/N and how breathtakingly beautiful she is. The dress she picked out compliments all of her best features, and the veil cascading down her shoulders makes her look like a goddess. Fred has imagined this day over a dozen times since he proposed last year, but everything he thought of pales in comparison to how beautiful Y/N looks right now.

“Can I have the rings?” the officiant asks, pulling Fred’s thoughts fully to the ceremony. George digs around in his pocket for a moment before handing the delicate silver rings to the man. He hands the smaller one to Fred. “Now it’s my understanding that the bride and groom have prepared their own vows?” When Fred and Y/N nod, he smiles and motions for Fred to start.

“Y/N, I’ve been enamored with you since I was 11 years old, when you made your cauldron blow up and covered Snape head to toe in the worst smelling goo I’ve ever encountered – and that’s saying something,” Fred pauses as everyone chuckles, and he starts to slide the ring down Y/N’s finger. “When you agreed to accompany me to Hogsmeade during third year I felt like the luckiest guy in the world and I still do. I was so nervous, I had no idea how I managed to convince the pretties girl in school to go out with me, and all these years later I have no idea how I convinced you to marry me. But like I said last night, there’s no returns or exchanges you’re stuck with me for good now.”

Fred slides the ring down Y/N’s finger until it meets her engagement ring. “You’ve stuck by me through every risk I’ve taken and every dumb idea that’s popped into my mind. You were one of the first people to support my dream of opening the joke shop with George, and you were there to support me every step of the way. Every late-night George and I had planning things out or developing products you were right there with me, usually you were asleep, but it was still nice to have you there. You were always the first person to volunteer to test out a product and you were always there for me to vent to when something didn’t work out. You pushed me to leave school early with George, and once you moved in with us you were always there to snuggle with me after a long day.”

Fred takes a deep breath and brings one of his hands up to wipe away the tears Y/N has started to shed. “You gave up so much of your life to be there for me after I was crushed by that wall. No matter how hard I tried to get you to go back to work or just leave the house in general. You’ve always shown me unconditional love and support, and that’s what I’m promising to show you for the rest of our lives. No matter how crazy or hard or scary life gets, I’ll be there by your side, loving you and helping you through it.”

By the time the officiant is pronouncing them husband and wife, both Fred and Y/N are openly crying, but as they share their first kiss as husband and wife, neither of them really cares.

-

“Glad to see you’re feeling better,” Fred greets with a smile as Y/N pushes the door to his office open. He pushes away from his desk slightly and pats his lap.

“Me too, I hate throwing up,” Y/N responds, taking a seat on Fred’s lap. She settles in and presses a kiss to his cheek. “How’s work going today, husband?” she asks with a giggle. They’ve been married for just over two months, and it still gives Y/N butterflies every time she refers to Fred as her husband.

Fred rolls his eyes and grabs Y/N’s face so he can press a kiss to her lips. “It’s been quite busy today wife. The restock of the new whizbang line already sold out.” Fred settles his hands on Y/N’s hips and kisses her again. “What about you? What have you been getting up to on your day off?”

“I had breakfast with Ginny and Hermione. Did some shopping,” she says casually pointing towards the bags she dropped near the door. “Nothing too crazy or exciting.”

Fred’s eyes light up at the sight of the bags. “Shopping, hm? Did you happen to pick up a present for your lovely, adorable, adoring husband while you were out?” he asks hopefully.

“Maybe,” Y/N muses with a wink. “You’ll have to wait until after work to find out.” Y/N giggles as Fred frowns and she kisses him one last time before standing up.

“You’re such a tease,” he scolds as Y/N gathers the bags in her hand.

“I know.” She waves at Fred and blows him a kiss before heading back into the joke shop and upstairs to their flat. They’re still living with George for the time being as they save up for a house, and as Y/N places her shopping bags on the bed she starts to wonder if they’ll have to start looking for one sooner rather than later.

Y/N sticks her hand in one of the bags and fumbles around a bit, humming as her hands closes around a rectangular cardboard box. Her hand shakes slightly as she pulls the pregnancy test out and starts to familiarize herself with the instructions. While her and Fred have already come to the conclusion that they both want a house full of children someday, she never imagined that they may be starting their family so soon after their wedding.

“Now or never,” Y/N mutters to herself as she heads towards the bathroom. Y/N thought they had been careful while on their honeymoon, she knows there were a few times they had forgotten to use the contraceptive charm in the heat of the moment, but she figured it would be okay. However, when her period never came she began to suspect that they weren’t in fact okay, and the random nausea spells she’s been having for the past week seemed to only solidify that fact.

After she’s closed and locked the door behind her, Y/N does what she needs to do and sets the pregnancy test on the counter face down. “Who knew three minutes could feel like a lifetime?” she asks to no one as she watches the time go by on her watch. When the three minutes is finally up Y/N’s hand starts to shake again as she reaches for the stick. She shuts her eyes tightly as she flips it over, and after a few deep breaths she finally takes a peek.

Pregnant.

Y/N starts to cry as a whirlwind of emotions flow through her. On one hand she’s so overwhelmingly happy, being a mother is something she’s always wanted and to be doing it with Fred makes her heart burst with joy. But she can’t help but also feel an intense bout of worry flowing through her. She and Fred are only 21, and they haven’t even been married six months yet. Y/N knows that Fred wants to be a dad, but she can’t help but worry that he’ll think this is a bad thing and that it’s far too soon for them to become parents.

“Hey, love. You left one of your bags downstairs,” Fred calls out as he walks through the door.

Y/N furiously wipes away her tears and sticks the pregnancy test in the back pocket of her jeans. She takes a deep breath and opens the bathroom door, jumping slightly when she sees Fred. “You scared me, Freddie. I didn’t hear you come down the hall.”

Fred frowns at her. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?” When Y/N nods he gives her a look. “Were you throwing up again? You’re all pale, love. Are you sure we shouldn’t go see a muggle doctor or a healer or something?”

“I’m fine, love,” Y/N reassures, pushing past Fred. She starts to head down the hall when she feels Fred’s hand brush her ass. “What are you- oh,” she gasps, turning around to face Fred. He’s staring down at the pregnancy test in his hands. “Fred,” Y/N starts, not really sure what to say.

“Is this what I think it is?” Fred murmurs, looking up at Y/N. He grips the test in his hand tightly, tears starting to form in his eyes. “You’re pregnant?”

Y/N nods slowly as she bites her lip. “Yeah, I am.” Fred falls to his knees and brings Y/N close to him, shoving her shirt up a little. He starts to pepper kisses all over her warm skin, laughing as Y/N starts to giggle and squirm. “Fred! Fred stop that tickles!”

Fred presses one final kiss to her stomach before he stands up and kisses Y/N passionately. “I can’t believe you’re pregnant. I can’t believe we’re gonna have a baby.” Fred lets go of Y/N and starts to head towards the door. “I have to go tell George.”

“Freddie, wait,” Y/N calls with a laugh, chasing after him. She closes her hand around his wrist and pulls him back towards her. “You’re not mad? Or upset?”

Fred gives Y/N a look like she’s crazy. “Upset? Mad? Why would I be any of those things? You know I want to be a dad, love. We’ve talked about this before.”

“I dunno,” Y/N shrugs. “We’re young and we haven’t been married for that long. I just thought you wouldn’t think it’s the right time.”

Fred sighs and comes back towards Y/N, wrapping her up in a hug. “Love I don’t care about any of that. So, what we’ve only been married for two months? We’ve been as good as married since we were 18 when you first moved in here.” Fred presses a kiss to her forehead and smiles down at her. “Besides if we’re gonna have enough kids to fill a quidditch team we need to have them young, I can’t be an old man teaching my kids how to fly,” he jokes with a laugh.

“A whole quidditch team?” Y/N asks. When Fred gives her a wink Y/N rolls her eyes. “You’re lucky I love you Fred Weasley.”

-

“Fred what are you doing?” Y/N murmurs around a yawn. She started to wake up after a warm heavy weight rested on her stomach, and when she finally opened her eyes she saw Fred half hanging off the bed as he laid on his front. He’d pushed her shirt up and his head is hovering over the swell of her stomach while his hand strokes it lightly.

“Talking to the baby,” he responds, as if the answer is obvious.

Y/N shifts so she’s laying on her elbows so that she can look down at him properly. “At 2 am?”

Fred nods, pressing a light kiss to her skin. “I couldn’t sleep. And I read in that muggle book Hermione gave us last week that the baby can hear things now, so I figured I’d try it out.”

Y/N chuckles brings a hand up to rub her stomach. “Well I think the baby likes the sound of your voice, they’ve been moving like crazy.” Early last week Y/N had started to feel the baby move around inside of her. The first time it happened it scared the shit out of her, but now she’s started to miss it when the baby is still.

“Really?” Fred asks, his eyes lighting up. The movements Y/N has been feeling are still far too light for Fred to feel from the outside, but every night he spends hours rubbing her bump to try and feel something.

“Yeah, really. My ribs have become a punching bag.” Y/N smiles as the baby lands a few kicks to her stomach. “Here, gimme your hand.

Fred gives Y/N the hand that isn’t already on her stomach, watching as she places it on the side of her bump. She presses his hand into her skin, and he holds his breath, hoping to feel something. “Holy shit,” he gasps as the skin beneath his hand moves ever so slightly. Fred watches his hand in awe, smiling as it moves lightly with each movement. “That’s so cool.”

Y/N laughs and lets go of Fred’s hand so she can run her hand through his hair. “Innit? Though it does feel kinda weird that it’s like, coming from inside of me. But it’s nice. Like I’m never alone.”

“Hey little one,” Fred coos against Y/N’s skin, pressing down against her stomach as he feels the baby kick him in response. “I’m your Daddy, and I can’t wait to meet you.” Fred presses a kiss to Y/N’s skin and tears form in his eyes when he feels a small movement against his mouth. “I know your Mummy is doing such an amazing job of growing you in there but hurry up and get out of there so I can hold you and play with you and kiss you and cuddle you.” Fred tears his eyes away from Y/N’s bump so he can wink at his wife. “Plus, the sooner you get out of there the sooner Daddy can give you a sibling.”

Y/N scoffs and flicks Fred on the forehead. “Can we finish making this one before you start planning the next?”

“What? There’s no harm in planning ahead,” he teases, crawling up the bed to kiss Y/N sweetly.

-

“Hi there little bug,” Fred coos, gently rocking his newborn daughter. She’s only a few hours old, and her big eyes are bright as she blinks up at Fred. “I’m your Daddy and I love you so much Miss Ellie belly.”  Her actual name is Electra, but Fred has settled on calling her Ellie. Y/N had found her name in a baby book Hermione dropped off, and they both instantly fell in love with it. It means bright one, and after the dark times Fred and Y/N had survived in order to bring her into the world it seemed like the perfect fit.

Fred presses a kiss to her forehead, his heart melting as she makes a little noise. “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he whispers. “Just don’t tell Mummy I said that.”

“Maybe you should check to make sure Mummy is asleep before you start spilling your secrets,” Y/N responds with a laugh.

Fred turns around, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry, love. I figured you’d be a goner after the past few days you’ve had.”

Y/N moves over to make room for Fred and pats the space next to her. “I was only in labor for what 36 hours? That’s nothing,” she says with a laugh.

Fred comes over and sits next to Y/N, cradling Ellie tightly against his chest. “Don’t downplay yourself, love. You’re an absolute superhero.” He begrudgingly passes the baby back to Y/N and wraps an arm around her, his other hand coming up to grab Ellie’s foot through the blanket she’s wrapped up in. “We wouldn’t have our perfect little angel without you.”

Y/N blushes, looking over at Fred. “You helped a little bit. And I did nearly break your hand while I was pushing.”

“Aw, Y/N. You flatter me,” Fred teases. He presses a kiss to her temple and takes a moment to just watch as Y/N cuddles Ellie close. “I didn’t know I could love something this much,” Fred says quietly, crying slightly for the second time that day. The first had been when the doctor placed Ellie in his arms for the first time. “But every time I look at her my heart feels like it’s going to burst from how much love is in it.”

“I know, right? Every time I look at her I feel like crying. She’s just so tiny and perfect and ours.” Y/N leans down and presses a kiss to Ellie’s forehead. “I almost can’t believe that we made her. I don’t know how you and I could make something so beautiful.”

Fred gently grabs Y/N’s chin and turns her head so he can kiss her passionately. “You are the most beautiful woman in the world, so it is no surprise that our daughter is the most beautiful little girl in the world.” Fred kisses Y/N again briefly, before letting go of her chin so he can stroke Ellie’s cheek. “How are you feeling, love? Can I get you anything?”

“I’m alright, Freddie, thank you,” Y/N says softly, looking back down at their daughter. “I actually feel really good. To be honest your Mum scared me a bit, I thought it would be way worse.”

Fred chuckles, melting as Ellie’s eyes flutter closed. “I think Healers have revolutionized childbirth in the twenty years it’s been since she had a baby.” He bites his lip, nudging Y/N so she’ll look at him. “So now that this one’s out, when can we start trying for number 2?”

-

“Y/N love, I’m home!” Fred calls, stepping out of their fireplace and into the living room. He dusts the ashes from his suit, frowning when his wife doesn’t answer him immediately. But it turns into a smile when he spots his daughter peering at him over top of her play pen.

“Ellie,” he coos, heading over to her. “Look at you, standing up on your own!” he praises, lifting her out and up into the air. He tosses her up gently, laughing as she giggles madly at him. “Where’s your Mummy?” he asks, settling the infant on his hip. He presses a kiss to her forehead, his stomach turning to mush when she cuddles into his chest. “Let’s go find her then, hm?”

Fred starts to explore the house, grinning as Ellie babbles baby nonsense into his skin. He can’t believe how fast the past 8 months have gone, and while he loves watching Ellie grow and learn new things, he misses the baby stage already. “What do you think Mummy’s doing?” he asks, nodding along to her babbles as if she’s actually answering him. “I think she might be hiding to scare Daddy. What do you think?”

After checking their downstairs Fred starts to head up the stairs, his fingers lightly digging into Ellie’s belly to tickle her. She shrieks with laughter, and it sounds like music in Fred’s ears. “Daddy misses you while he’s at work, Miss Ellie belly. I think I should take you with me tomorrow. What do you think? Do you wanna spend the day with Daddy and Uncle George at the joke shop?”

Fred peppers kisses to Ellie’s head as he walks down the hallway. The door to his and Y/N’s room is shut and as he goes to grab the doorknob it swings open and Y/N practically runs into him.

“Oh, Fred,” she gasps, holding something to her chest. “I didn’t hear you come in, love.” Fred eyes her wearily as Y/N leans forward to tickle Ellie’s stomach with her free hand and press kisses to her chubby cheeks. “Is your Daddy home, Miss Ellie? Did Daddy finally come home to see you?” she asks, laughing as Ellie giggles at her.

“What’s in your hand?” Fred asks.

Y/N looks up at him, trying to seem as innocent as possible. “Nothing,” she responds, showing him the hand that was on Ellie’s stomach.

Fred rolls his eyes playfully. “The other one, gorgeous.”

“Oh, um,” Y/N blushes and looks away from Fred as she takes her hand from her chest and opens her palm. A positive pregnancy test is laying in her hand, staring up at Fred.

Fred gasps. “Another one?”

Y/N nods and snuggles into Fred’s chest as he pulls her into a hug with his free hand. “Dunno why you’re so surprised, you’ve been trying to get me pregnant since Ellie was born.”

Fred laughs and leans down to kiss Y/N deeply. “Guess it’s time to start thinking about the next one then,” he teases.

Y/N glares at Fred. “Are you sure it’s not too late to return or exchange you?”

“Sorry love, I burned the receipt long ago,” Fred responds with a laugh, kissing Y/N again.

[plsbyallmeans]

For today's shit series called: AC/S: I/mpeachment I just want to give my thought about this scene (where Hillary again just showed how unfeeling she is when Bill is being vulnerable) and because in the previous scenes that they have been trying to paint Bill-Hillary's marriage as loveless/all partnership. I couldn't contain my annoyance at how they have depicted Hillary in this part and this is my last straw; so I'm going to write this long-ass entry. LMAO. First, there's no way that the production/scriptwriter knows what's happening and what conversation Bill and Hillary are having alone together. Therefore, scenes between Bill and Hillary are entirely created by the production. Second, Monica is the producer, and since she believes that Bill and Hillary's marriage is entirely due to political motivation and (because of) Chelsea, (I think) this is the reason why B/H's marriage in this series is very dry. There's no love at all and really business-like. I cringed remembering Episode 8 where Paul Begala and George Stephanopolous talked to Hillary to participate in the 60 minutes interview to show the people "that she's fine" and how Hillary/Edie responded bothered me; she responded to Paul and George as if she couldn't believe them for suggesting such a thing (even looks disgusted to participate in the farce).

So this annoys the shit out of me because they really made Hillary look so unemotional and detached to Bill. Even in the last episode (ep 8) how Hillary threw Bill's past back in his face is something - I don't think - that Hillary would do. Hillary mentioned before how much she detested meanness. It was so unfeeling! Plus how Hillary/Edie delivered the lines is (somehow) effective. So in this episode, I think when the whole ordeal was happening (they were on the brink of proceeding with the impeachment), is the same as what is happening in Hillary's book when she wrote the following (not exactly the same dates but at least happening at the same period - the brink of starting the impeachment)

Privately, I was still working on forgiving Bill, but my fury at those who had deliberately sabotaged him helped me on that score. For weeks Bill had apologized to me, to Chelsea... [...] And we continued with our regular counseling sessions, which forced us to ask and answer hard questions that years of nonstop campaigning had allowed us to postpone. By now, I wanted to save our marriage, if we could. The nights were difficult [...] I didn't avoid him as I had before, but there was still tension between us and not as many shared laughs as I was used to on a daily basis with my husband. [...]I spent some time alone, praying and reading.[...]

So she was going through pain, loneliness, and dejection but not this mean-tough facade that they are trying to depict.

But why am I saying this is because the series has been underscoring how loveless Bill and Hillary's marriage is and it's not (please don't ask me to go through all my resources because it'll be plenty. You can go through my blog and check out tags Billary story, Billary fact, or go through all the master list so you can do your reading and create your own conclusions haha). I would tolerate them lambasting Bill for his behavior or depicting Monica as a victim but for them to show Hillary as this mean-I-don't-give-a-shit-about-Bill is just so annoying.

Hillary could have left Bill if it's all about politics when his term ended, but she didn't. She fought. It was one of her hard choices and it was one of the gutsy decisions that she made (cheesy on my part but hey she said those words), but she stayed. She chose him.

Is it all politics? Hell, no, because she has nothing to gain by staying with him. She is capable to carry out her own torch in the political arena. She didn't even need his interference when she ran for Senator. She stayed because she loved him and this series is just damn so infuriating. This series just adds fuel to the conspiracy theory of how it's all about politics when they just even celebrated their 46 years together. Their marriage wouldn't survive that long if it's not founded by love and mutual respect.

lmao, sorry for the long-ass post, but I am done venting. HAHAHA. Back to normal programming and me stanning Jolie and thirsting Clive.

[midnightsconspiracy]

Insecurities

Insecurities - @midnightsconspiracy

Summary: Hank seems to be jealous of a certain friend of yours.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 880

Requested: Yes

'fic in which they fight (maybe because of an age gap or Hank is jealous of one of the guys of the unit (or maybe someone from fire or med, it depends if Reader is part of the unit or not, I'll leave that up to you'

A/N: I can't think of anything to say except my inbox is open!! :)

Masterlist

Unprecedented and judgmental looks were common in your relationship, almost as common as giving compliments was. But you had gotten used to it at this point, deciding that you didn’t want to define your relationship with the opinions of other people. It definitely wasn’t the most normal relationship by societies standards, but neither of you saw anything wrong with it, especially if you were two consenting adults. The age gap was relatively large and yes he was closer in age to your parents than to you but quite frankly you didn’t care, the only thing that mattered was that you loved each other. The majority of the time everything was calm, but every so often something triggered an argument, the most common being over jealousy.

Finishing your shift at Firehouse 51, you felt relieved as you and the rest of your colleagues headed for a much need drink at your regular bar Molly’s. You had texted Hank earlier telling him you were heading to the bar after work and not to wait up for you. He understood that you liked to go out with the people you worked with, but didn’t like that you were very close with a certain handsome firefighter, Kelly Severide. Walking into the bar, you ordered a drink, chatting with Hermann about all things except work, before heading over to the table with the rest of your friends. Noticing no room within the booth, your natural instinct was to sit in Kelly’s lap since he was one of your best friends, with neither of you ever harbouring feelings for each other and both of you in stable, committed relationships. He welcomed your present, placing his hand around your waist to make sure you wouldn’t fall off. To you and the rest of the table, this was a totally platonic act knowing neither of you felt anything towards each other, but to the outside world, it could’ve been taken out of context and spun around to make it look like something it wasn’t. For the rest of the night, you drank and conversed and laughed with your friends, reminiscing of memories both old and new, thinking about nothing else but the present. Suddenly someone shouted ‘smile’, aiming a phone in yours and Kelly’s direction to capture the moment forever, posting it to social media alongside other photos from that evening. As Hermann called for last orders, you all collectively decided that was your cue to leave, saying goodbye before breaking off towards your own vehicles.

Having drunk a little bit too much to drive, Kelly offered you a lift, having only consumed a small amount that night. Pulling up to yours and Hank’s house, you hugged Kelly, saying your last goodbye before exiting the car, heading towards the house. Going to unlock the door, it instead swung open revealing the glum face of your husband.

“Glad to see you actually came back,” He said, face pulled into a frown, staring you dead in the eyes. Face contorting into a frown, you looked back in confusion, wondering why he had worded it like that. Maybe the drunk fog had forgotten something you had done.

“What?” You questioned, trying to get to the bottom of his unexpected anger.

“I'm surprised you came back instead of staying with Severide,” he uttered with an eery silence.

“Why would I stay with Kelly?” At this point you were so confused, you had a perfectly good home here, why would you stay at Kelly’s instead?

“Wouldn’t you prefer to sleep with Kelly over me considering you were so close this evening?” He questioned, his voice rising with each sentence.

“No you’re my husband I want to sleep with you,” pushing past him, you headed towards the stairs, done with the nonsense he was saying.

“Sure didn’t look like that,” he uttered underfed his breath, hoping you wouldn’t hear him.

“Why would you say that?” You turned around on the stairs, about to say a harsh response before remembering the photo. The gears in your head turned and finally you realised, he was jealous!

Heading back down the stairs towards the man, your anger completely dispersed knowing this was a sensitive topic for him.

“He’s just a friend, you’re the man I married,” you softly replied trying to console him, making sure he knew he shouldn’t be jealous because you couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, especially not Kelly Severide. Instead of replying to you, he looked down, knowing you had clocked onto why he was so upset about tonight.

“Hank,” he still hadn’t replied, knowing the multiple talks you’d had about this before, each one coming to the same conclusion. Walking forward, you bought him into your arms, laying your head in the crook of his neck, squeezing your arms tightly, indirectly telling him how much you cared for him.

“I'm sorry, I love you.” He sincerely stated knowing that you loved him no matter what, despite him bringing this up again.

“I love you too, and I don’t care if there are people younger than you, better looking than you, less insecure than you. I want you and only you,” and that was true. Nobody in the world could convince you otherwise, because the love of your life really was Hank Voight.

[recurring-polynya]

For the Renji birthday prompt: A fic where Renji discovers that he can't go tits out anymore now that he's married (maybe with some jealous Rukia thrown in perhaps)?

I maintain that the new tits-in regime is self-imposed; I present to you my thesis. (I did not attempt to take on The Vest; I assume it came later, and I eagerly await more Vest Lore from Kubo himself)

Warning that I sincerely hope deters absolutely no one: This fic is about boobs. It contains many, many synonyms for boobs. Some of them are rude. 

Read on ao3 or ff.net

---

“I’m telling you, you’re jumping to conclusions. Sometimes he puts them away when he fights. He told me this.”

“I haven’t seen them in weeks.”

“It’s been winter.”

“That has never stopped him before. And it’s April now. Open season. And yet…?”

“I think we should just ask him.”

“You can’t just ask a guy, ‘hey, where did your tits go?’”

“I could, but I refuse. Abarai’s aesthetic is his own business.”

“Since when?”

“Okay, he’s here, someone’s gotta do it.”

“Not it!”

“Also not it!”

“Matsumoto, you have to do it. You’re the one who talked him into letting them hang out in the first place.”

“I agree with Yumichika. Renji knows what he’s doing, and if he has decided that the puppies are off-limits, that’s on him.”

“Hey, guys!” Abarai Renji’s cheerful voice rang out over the din of the bar. “Sorry I’m late!”

“Just means you have to catch up quick!” Rangiku declared, pouring him some sake.

“No missus tonight?” Shuuhei asked.

Renji’s entire face went pink and he got the same moony look in his eyes he always got whenever someone mentioned his wife or his marital state generally. “She sends her regards and says I’m supposed to drink extra for her. She goes over to the Manor on Wednesday evenings now to hang out with her brother.”

“Have you actually managed to call him by his given name yet?” Iba asked. “Now that you’re related?”

“His given name is ‘Captain’ and I call him that all the time,” Renji replied snottily.

“So. Renji,” Izuru said, leaning forward on his elbow. “Are you doing something different? With your look? I feel like there’s something different about you.”

Renji’s face lit up. “You noticed!” He swung his head around, his long braid swinging over his shoulder. “I’ve started braiding it!”

“Oh, no, it’s permanent?” Yumichika moaned.

“That’s not new,” Iba scoffed. “You slept with it like that the whole time we were roommates. I just figured that you didn’t have time to fix your hair in the morning anymore because you were too busy taking care--oof!”

“It looks very nice, Renji!” Momo said sweetly, extracting her elbow from Iba’s rib cage.

“It’s different,” Renji glowered at Iba. “I braid it loosely at night to prevent breakage and lock in moisture. This is an action braid.” He wheeled on Yumichika. “And I’m only French braiding it for now, because it’s shorter in front than in the back, you know, because of the accident. Once I’ve grown it out to all one length again, I’ll just do a regular braid.”

“You could just cut it to the length of the shortest part and go back to the pineapple hair,” Ikkaku suggested. “I always liked the pineapple hair.”

Renji turned pink again. “Ah, well. Rukia likes it long.”

“Yeah, I don’t think the braid is… what I was thinking of,” Izuru soldiered on.

Renji sucked his teeth thoughtfully. “I got a new tattoo? A pair, actually.”

“Oh! Did you?”

“On your chest?” Shuuhei asked hopefully. A healing tattoo would be a good excuse to cover up.

“Nah, on my thighs.”

Izuru sighed. “Since when do I look at your thighs, Abarai?”

“I have good thighs, Izuru.”

“He probably just looks different because he’s so happy now,” Rangiku suggested. “By which I mean getting your back blown out every night.”

“That could be it!” Renji agreed cheerfully. “Oh, I was wearing a scarf for a while there, when we had that cold snap! Is it the scarf? Or maybe the lack of scarf? It’s a nice scarf, Captain gave it to me for a wedding present. He says a man of quality should own a scarf.”

“I give up,” Izuru sighed.

“Hey, jocks, what’s going on?” a new voice interrupted.

“Akon!” half the table chorused and Renji scooted over so Akon could slide in next to him.

“Glad you could make it!”

“Yeah, sorry, I had an experiment I wanted to get finished up.”

“We were just talking about how there’s something different about Renji,” Shuuhei pressed.

Akon surveyed Renji for a moment. “Well, he’s got his tits tucked in for once. Aren’t you hot? You told me once you did that for ventilation.”

“That was very much a lie,” Renji clarified. “And I’m a married man now, my cans are closed for business. Speaking of which, Rangiku, fill ‘er up again, please, I’ve gotta keep up my wife’s reputation.”

---

Momo couldn’t believe this was happening to her. Out of their entire friend group, she was pretty sure she was the least interested in Renji’s… bosoms. There was a time… long, long ago when she had thought he was pretty hot stuff. She still counted him among her closest friends and favorite people, but had long ago come to the conclusion that big and beefy just wasn’t her type.

“Why, Lieutenant Hinamori! What brings you to my office?” Acting Captain Kuchiki Rukia leaned back in her chair, steepling her fingers. She must have been practicing, because the last time Momo had seen her do that, she had nearly fallen backwards out of the chair.

Momo sighed. “I have to tell you, this isn’t business.” Not exactly. It sort of was, in the sense that Shuuhei and Matsumoto (who apparently did care very much about Renji’s chest situation, so long as she wasn’t the one who had to confront him about it) had come over and dramatically draped themselves all over the Squad 5 couch and complained about the dreary state of affairs to Captain Hirako until he ordered Momo to go do some investigating.

“Good, because I have been filling out Nanao’s new skills-inventory-for-seated-officer forms all morning and I’m about to lose it,” Rukia said with an overly cheerful grin.

“We could go out to the yard and fight?” Momo offered hopefully. Maybe she could tell Captain Hirako that she got distracted and forgot to ask about Renji.

Rukia’s face fell a little. “Er, I’d love to, but I really shouldn’t today. Sentarou just made me this pot of tea, though. Do you want some? It’s lemon ginger, it’s really good.”

“Sure,” Momo agreed.

“So what’s up?” Rukia asked again, once Momo was perched in the guest chair, a fragrant cup of tea cradled in her hands.

Well, might as well just rip the bandage off. “I need you to know that I was put up to this by… you know. The idiots. The cowards we go drinking with.”

“Understood,” Rukia agreed.

“There is… some concern… about your husband.”

Rukia’s eyebrows shot up. “My sweet pumpkin pants?”

“I’m leaving,” Momo announced.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Rukia waved her hands, laughing. “I’ll be serious. What has that lunkhead done now?”

“This is so dumb,” Momo muttered. She cleared her throat. “He’s stopped going around with his bazongas hanging out all the time, and everyone’s losing their minds over it.”

Rukia stared at her. “Excuse me, his what?”

Momo made a vague gesture at her own chest. “You know. His… boobies.”

“That’s what I thought you meant,” Rukia nodded, her brow creased in thought. “Bazongas. I like that.”

“Not that I care!” Momo excused. “I mean, I agree, he should be allowed to dress how he likes, but you two seem to have a very equitable relationship and I said that I was sure he wasn’t doing anything that he hadn’t agreed to--”

“Hold on,” Rukia interrupted. “You think I had something to do with this?”

“You didn’t?” Momo asked. “He said he was keeping them tucked in because he was married now. We assumed it was at your request.”

“I didn’t even know!” Rukia replied. “I mean, I came home yesterday, and he was just--” she made a hand gesture like she was pulling her kosode open, “--completely out--”

“I don’t need to hear this,” Momo begged.

“Well, I tell you I had nothing to do with it,” Rukia assured her. “No one is more supportive of Renji acting slutty in public than me. Everyone knows I have that locked down, and honestly, it just makes me seem more powerful.”

Momo squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m going to punch Shuuhei so hard.”

Rukia rubbed her index finger over her chin. “It’s possible this came down from Brother…”

Momo whimpered, although, honestly, having a conversation with the other Captain Kuchiki about Abarai’s pectorals couldn’t possibly be more awkward than this.

“...or it might be… something else.” Rukia frowned. “I’ll talk to him, okay?”

“You will?” Momo asked hopefully.

“Yeah, I’ll take care of it. I can’t promise to bring the jugs back, but I’ll make sure it’s just Renji being a doofus and not Renji hiding his anxieties under aesthetic choices or Renji being oppressed by his brother-in-law.”

“Thank you, Rukia,” Momo said. Rukia could be bossy at times, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. “Sometimes, Renji has to be bullied into taking care of himself.”

“You’re telling me!” Rukia exclaimed. “Thank you for caring about him,” she added warmly.

“For the record, I care about him,” Momo replied. “Everyone else just misses the view.”

“Noted,” Rukia replied.

---

Renji had his nose stuffed in his cookbook, which lately, wasn’t a good sign. Renji only owned one cookbook, an encyclopedic tome that he only cracked open when he was trying something new or otherwise wasn’t sure what he was doing.

“I hope you aren’t making that kale curry again,” Rukia noted dryly.

Renji jumped three feet in the air. “Aaah, shoot! Rukia! I didn’t hear you come in! I’m so sorry!”

Rukia hopped up on her kitchen stool and leaned across the counter to give him a kiss. “We’ve been married for four months now. You don’t have to greet me at the door every single day, you know.”

“Sixteen weeks, three days,” Renji replied. “And I can still be sorry about it.”

“Just tell me we’re having something normal for dinner, and I’ll forgive you,” Rukia replied.

Renji jerked a thumb toward the stove behind him. “I made oden,” he explained. “It’s simmering, probably’ll be another ten minutes.”

“Ohhhhhh, I love your oden!” Rukia stretched her arms across the counter and did grabby hands at his hands until he laced his fingers through hers. “Did you make enough for me to take some for lunch tomorrow?”

“Depends on how much you eat tonight,” he replied. “Your appetite’s been really hit or miss lately.”

“Yeah, well...” Rukia agreed. “So what’s with the cookbook, then?”

“Oh,” Renji said vaguely. “I’m thinking about learning to bake cookies?”

“I’m in favor of that,” Rukia agreed, although her mind immediately went back to the conversation she’d had with Momo that afternoon.

“I’m not sure this book is helping,” Renji admitted. “If I was any good at baking, it would be one thing, but it’s too different. I’ve always been better at learning stuff from other people. Do you think it would be weird if I asked Iba’s mom to teach me? She used to make these little sesame biscuits for Iba. I would always steal them from him. They were so good and he didn’t properly appreciate them anyway.”

“It would absolutely be weird, and I think you should do it anyway,” Rukia proclaimed. She paused. “But maybe you could wait a few more weeks until we tell everyone we’re pregnant so all your friends will stop asking me what’s wrong with you.”

Renji’s eyes widened. “Did your brother say something last night? Because he told me he liked the braid!”

Rukia snorted. “No. He’s worse than you are anyway, he’s been reading books. Please make him stop, if you can. Actually, I’ve been getting complaints about,” she circled a finger in the vicinity of Renji’s chest.

Renji glanced down, and realized that his kosode was still neatly folded up to his collarbone. “Oops, sorry! I told you I didn’t hear you come home.” He immediately began untucking it.

Rukia leaned her chin on her palm, watching his progress. “I realize that making emotionally constipated people face their feelings is usually your department, but it seems you’ve got something heavy rattling around in there. Wanna talk about it?”

Renji’s eyes slid to one side. “Talk about what?”

Rukia cocked an eyebrow and waited.

Renji heaved a sigh. “Do you remember that time, back in Inuzuri, the first time I used my reiatsu in public? When I blocked a lead pipe with my arm?”

Rukia almost choked. “What do you mean, do I remember it? Of course I remember it.”

“Well, not so much that, but do you remember afterward, when you said I was too big and mean to be a sneakthief anymore? That it was better to confront the world and show it what we were made of?”

“I do remember that. I did not call you mean.”

“You probably didn’t. It’s probably just something I thought about myself.” He looked pensive for a moment. “In any case, it was something I really took to heart, especially after we split up. At first, I just wanted to make myself as big and loud and scary as possible. I liked the way people shied away from me. Later on, after I started hanging out with Yumichika, I realized that walking around sexy could be intimidating in a different sort of way, and I liked that, too.”

Rukia had a comment for that, but she decided to just listen, instead.

Renji smoothed the page of his book with his fingers. “I don’t want to look scary anymore.”

“You don’t look scary,” Rukia reassured him. “You haven’t looked scary in a long time.”

“I want to do better than that, though,” Renji frowned. “Has your brother ever talked to you about his dad?”

Rukia blinked, surprised, mostly that Byakuya had talked about Soujun with Renji. “A few times.”

“I, uh, asked him what his dad was like. Since I never had one myself. I expected him to either blow me off or start bellyaching, like he does about his granddad, but he didn’t. He said his pop was very gentle and kind. He said he was a good dad.”

“Byakuya loved his father a lot.”

“Yeah, that was pretty clear.”

“I hope he finished by saying what a good father you will make, but it’s my brother, so I’m sure he didn’t.”

“He said something about how he was sure I would proceed in my own way.”

Rukia sighed again. “Renji, you’ll be a great dad. It’s super obvious. I’ve only told half a dozen people that I’m pregnant and all of them who aren’t Byakuya have immediately reacted with ‘Renji is going to be such a good dad.’ You don’t need to change anything about yourself.”

Renji sucked his teeth for a moment. “Well, all my good dad instincts are telling me our kid is gonna wanna fight the world bad enough as it is, that the last thing they need is a dad who wants to fight the world, too. I’ve fought the world long enough. I’m probably never gonna be gentle, but I can try my best to be kind, and I can dress like a normal person in public for a change and… maybe I can make a cookie? It’s worth a try, I think.”

Rukia flashed him a sad, but fond smile. “You’re such a dork. A sweet, thoughtful dork, though, and I will support your experiment, even though you know I love your bazongas more than anyone.”

“‘Bazongas’? Oh no, did those assholes make Momo come and talk to you?”

Rukia shrugged and tried to look innocent.

“Anyway, you’re my wife, I will take them out for you whenever you want.”

“Yay!”

Renji furrowed his brow into its “determined” configuration. “Do not get me wrong. I am actually upping my chest day routine. I am going to keep them immaculate, and when my shirt gets ripped off in a fight, people are going to lose their minds over how lush my boys are.”

“I love you so much,” Rukia replied.

[calpops]

three month surprise | c.h.

Calum surprises you with a gift as your daughter turns three months old.

1.5k words

dates with cal masterlist

Copyright © 2020 calpops. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format (translations included).

<< >>

Nights grow easier for you and Calum as the fact that Mila is okay starts to sink in. New rationalizations turn into mantras and coping mechanisms for long nights when neither of you want to sleep. The doctors wouldn’t have sent her home if she wasn’t okay. She’s okay. Calum repeats those words for him and for you, to convince you both that sleep is needed and when you wake she will still be in her bassinet by your bed, sound and sweet as ever. Though it’s a struggle, and for her first week you sleep in shifts just to be sure, as time goes on acceptance comes with it.

Calum’s parents’ visit helps with the anxiety. Having them on standby eases worries, having two more people around who love Mila reinforces the fact that if anything were to happen someone would be there, someone would help. His parents' adoration and instant love for her fills you both with warmth. The first moment they laid eyes on her a silence befell them, his mom’s mouth slightly parting with a tiny gasp and eyes wide with joy and disbelief. His dad stood still and quiet as he took her in his arms and finally broke to coo at her and sway with a rhythm that always puts her to sleep. Their help has been immeasurable in settling in at home and finding peace. Their departure came with tears and promises to visit soon—and requests to bring her to them so she can see where Calum grew up. You both have every intention to make a trip of it when she’s older and better able to handle that amount of travel. For now, zoom calls and FaceTime become a regularity so her grandparents can see her.

Time passes and her first month of life goes without incident and harbors love and laughter; tiny moments that add up to everything encompasses your time with her. Ashton, Luke, Michael and Mali all pop in and help out when they can. Her second month goes by in a blue and all too soon her third month of life approaches and Calum decides he needs to mark the occasion with something special. He keeps his thoughts to himself, wanting it to be a surprise for you, something sentimental you and Mila will always be able to remember.

“Good morning, little love,” Calum says in a soft whisper as Mila stares up at him from her bassinet. He gently picks her up, cradles her to him so her head rests against his chest and his arms wind around her. She’s still tiny, smaller than an average three month old though that’s to be expected. “We have big plans today, but you have to keep it a secret from mommy.”

Mila doesn’t squirm or squabble or make a noise and Calum takes it as a good sign of faith that their secret is safe. He carries her to the living room, planting little kisses to her smushed cheek as he goes, every moment with her precious and filled with love.

You’ve already left the house to run some errands and chase after some normalcy, as much love and happiness as there has been for nearly three months there has also been lingering anxiety and shutting out the rest of the world in favor of being with each other and Mila. You and Calum had a talk about it the night previous, thick words and teary eyes finally coming to the conclusion that something needed to give. You start with a baby step; going to a cafe with a friend and getting a few groceries on the way home. Calum uses your time away for the surprise.

He’s all set up for the surprise, supplies all laid out across the coffee table, his second in command curled up on the couch with a slightly wagging tail as he and Mila come into view. He settles on the couch next to Duke and in front of all the supplies needed. A long sheet of paper claims most of the table, paint, pallet and a rag claim the rest. Mila yawns in Calum’s arms, the little breath shutting her eyes for a moment and making Calum wrinkle his nose at how adorable everything she does is.

“This won’t take long, then we can take a nap,” Calum promises with a small laugh and gives her another kiss on the cheek then readjusts his hold so she lays on his lap and is held by his arms. He gently picks up one of her tiny hands and can’t help but coo, “Look at those hands, the cutest little things I’ve ever seen. Mommy’s gonna love this.”

Mila lets out a small noise, filled with joy, something akin to a laugh and Calum’s grin grows with the sound. She’s still naturally quiet and Calum enjoys the fact that you always tell him she gets it from him. But he loves to hear her little noises and can’t wait for the day that a true laugh sounds from her, until he hears dada and I love you. For now he’s content with the little noises of happiness and contentment she’s able to produce. Another small one comes from her as he takes her other hand and makes more comments about how cute she is, how tiny her hands are, how sweet she is, how much he loves her.

The surprise doesn’t take too long to make, Mila being compliant and relaxed helping the endeavor. Duke’s nonchalance and indifference also aiding in the smooth sailing. Everything is picked up and tucked away by the time you get home.

You’re not greeted by Calum and Mila as you mostly expected, instead you walk into silence and confusion. It’s only mid morning and usually Mila is awake and being tended to in some way. When you finish with the few groceries you find your husband and baby in the living room, one half asleep on the couch and the other sound and out in a strong and sure pair of arms.

“Cal, love, wake up,” you gently coax in a soft voice so as not to startle him.

“I’m not asleep,” he answers almost instantly but his eyes spring open and his tired voice betrays him.

“I’ll take her,” you offer and reach your arms out for Mila. “I’ll put her in our room. I don’t want her to fall,” you say though you’re sure she wouldn’t. She’s in between the couch and Calum, nestled against him with her head resting on his chest. Heart beats and a rhythmic sway are one of two ways to get her to sleep.

“I’ve got her. And we’ve got something for you,” Calum announces as he carefully sits up with a sleeping Mila still content and safe in his arms.

“Something for me?” you ponder and bite your lip, wondering if it’s a special occasion. “I don’t need anything but you two,” you say and when Duke pops his head up from beneath blankets you laugh and correct yourself. “You three.”

“Indulge me,” Calum says and stands, goes to you and gives you a kiss and a moment to greet Mila before stalking off to the bedroom. He leaves you baffled but comes back before you can call after him or follow them down the hallway. Mila is in one arm, waking with heavy eyes, and his other hides behind his back. You raise an eyebrow in question and slowly approach him when he beckons you with a look.

“I hope it’s nothing expensive,” you comment and when Calum shakes his head you feel a bit better. You’d much rather be giving Mila gifts than receiving any.

“Open it,” he says and finally brings his arm from behind his back to reveal a rolled up parchment.

You give him a small look before unwinding a red ribbon from the center of the paper and rolling it open. In your hands are the hands of those you love the most. Three little sets of prints lay on the page in different colored paint. Four hands in blue and pink right in the center and scattered paws in black dots along the page. Your lip quivers and your eyes blink back tears as a shaky breath escapes you at the sentiment of the present.

“We left a spot for you,” Calum informs and gestures to the space just big enough for your hands between his hands and Mila’s. Your fingers clutch the page with heartfelt emotions coursing through you.

You don’t have the words to express your thanks but a kiss for each helps to get the message across. “I don’t understand. Why? What prompted this?” you ask, baffled but appreciative of the gift. “It’s not Mother’s Day… is it?”

Calum laughs and shakes his head but pulls you into his free side. You find your way into his hold and revel in the comfort as you find yourself gazing at your daughter. “Mila’s three months now. I wanted you to have something special.”

“Thank you,” you say and lift yourself on the top of your toes to give him a kiss. “I love it. And all of you,” you add on and smile as you realize that though the last three months have been filled with trials and tribulations it’s also been the happiest time of your life.

<< >>

If you’d like to be added to my tag list just let me know!

Tagged: @rosecolouredash​ @irwinkitten​ @golden-hood @caswinchester2000​ @wildflowergrae​ @cuddlemecalx @malumsmermaid​ @babylon-corgis​ @outerspaceisbetterthannothing​ @mariellelovescupcakes​ @xhaileyreneex​ @gosh-im-short​ @feliznavidaddycal​ @loveroflrh​ @findingliam-o​ @flowerthug​ @g-l-pierce​ @talkfastromance4​ @cashtonasfuck​ @sc0ttish-wildfl0wer​ @wastedheartcth​ @calumscalm​ @notinthesameguey​ @lukesfuckingbeard​ @myloverboyash​ @treatallwithkindness​ @haikucal​ @wiildflower-xxx​ @calum-uncrowned @egyptiangoldhood​ @drarryetcetera​ @another-lonely-heart @megz1985​ @idk-harry​ @dinosaursandsocks​ @wildflower-cth​ @idontneedanyone​ @everyscarisahealingplace​ @myfavfanficsever​ @stormrider505​ @karajaynetoday​ @333-xx​ @calumshpod​ @calumsphile​ @calumrose​ @justhereforcalum​ @grreatgooglymoogly​ @calumance​ @mentlereid @hemmingslftv​ @homeofpoetry @shamelessfangirl-3​ 

[come-on-shitty-boys]

//general dating headcannons//

Characters: Sugawara Koushi/Matsukawa Issei/Miya Osamu

Word Count: 1.5K (~500 a piece)

Warnings: none :)

Notes: my head is so empty.  It is just tattoo artist!kuroo rn.

Sugawara Koushi

Ah my beautiful chaotic angel.

Sugawara is pretty bold for the most part, but-

When it came to asking you out?  He couldn’t do it.  His stomach would get all jittery and he was never able to form sentences.  

So, when you made the first move?  When you hit on him first?  He instantly regained any and all of his confidence.

You thought he was just going to sit there and blush? Oh, honey.  How wrong you are.

Sugawara simply smiles at you and flirts right back twice as hard.  Knowing that you’re into him as much as he’s into you makes him forget any anxieties he has about approaching you.  By the end of the exchange, Sugawara has your number and a date scheduled for Friday night.  

It’s a very relaxed dynamic with the two of you.  

Sugawara is really big on study dates and if you aren’t the best student, he doesn’t mind breaking it down step by step with you.  He’s going to be asking if his explanations make sense after each step and if you’re still lost, don’t worry.  Suga would love to try to find a better way to help you.  He wants to be a teacher, so why not start practicing now?

He’s going to pester you about taking care of yourself.  Please expect regular reminders to drink water and grab a snack, but the same applies to him.  If he’s asking you to get a snack, I can assure you that he has unwrapped a granola bar.  He tells you to drink some water?  Koushu will be downing water as if he hasn’t had a drink in years.  

He is a very “we” oriented person.  Any problems he wants to get through together.  He doesn’t see the point in attacking one another if there’s a bigger issue that needs addressed.

Because of this, you guys never really fight?  Sure, there’s some minor spats every now and then, but it’s never anything serious.  

Sugawara also doesn’t really get jealous.  He has a crazy amount of trust in you and knows that you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself.  But, if you need him to step in, he’s not afraid to be so overwhelmingly nice that whoever might be hitting on you backs off.  

Always makes sure that you’re okay ;-; He wants to make sure that you are mentally, physically, and emotionally well at all times.  

He’s very open with you and would really like it if you could be open with him.  He understands that it’s difficult and not everything is the easiest to say, but he’s there to help you through anything.  It’s the two of you versus the issue.  Suga doesn’t want you to feel alone.

He’s a super kind boyfriend, but also very fun.  He will be showing up at your door in the middle of the night because he’s craving a milkshake and some fresh air.  It’s as simple as that.  

Sugawara keeps an extra jacket in his club room cubby in case you ever get cold in class, because yes.  He is that boyfriend.

10/10 recommend a Koushi in your life.

Matsukawa Issei

THE BEST 

Like the absolute best

Issei is just so laid-back that it’s difficult not to have a good time with him.  

He likes to have his arm around your waist and he’ll pull you into his side nice and tight, let you relish in his body heat.

He’ll give you a really soft kiss on your temple that makes you smile up at him, love in your eyes, so happy to be with him.

Only for him to straight up jab you in the sides with his fingers.  Not hard enough to actually hurt you, but it’s definitely catching you off guard.  

Issei loves to make fun of you.  I don’t make the rules.  He’s going to lovingly call you an idiot when you misspell something simple or make a simple calculation error.  If you’re shorter than him, doesn’t even matter how short, he’s going to pat your head and call you ‘short stuff’

But he would never laugh at you for something that you were genuinely insecure about.  He’s not that much of an asshole.  And if he ever does say something that upsets you?

He’s right there behind you, bringing you flush against his chest, leaning down to whisper every reassurance and every apology, reminding you that every fiber of his being loves you just the way you are.

I would never outright tell you that he gets jealous, but-

The extra bite to his words whenever the conversation is focused on another guy would lead you to believe otherwise.  

He refuses to admit that he’s jealous.  Matsukawa Issei?  Jealous?  N o.  yes.

One time he took you to work and the two of you took a nap in one of the bigger coffins

This was, of course, only after he hid from you.  When you came looking for him, he waited until you were right in front of him before he grabbed you and pulled you towards him.

You screamed loud enough to wake the dead.  Luckily, none of his clients had an urge to wake from their eternal slumber in response to your screams.

Nap time with Matsukawa is a must.  Whether it be in bed or on the couch or, hell, he’s willing to sleep on the floor, he just wants to be able to stare at you while you fall asleep on his chest.

He really likes playing with your hair?  That’s his go-to mindless habit; twisting your hair around his fingers absently.  

Not going to lie, he prefers staying home for dates than actually going out.  He wouldn’t object if you really wanted to, but sitting on the couch with take-out containers and Netflix is his preferred date night activity.  

He doesn’t even ask if you want his jacket.  The minute it even gets close to being the slightest bit chilly, he’s putting his jacket around your shoulders.

Loves back hugs and you can expect all of the back hugs from our gorgeous boy 

Miya Osamu

It all started because Atsumu told him that he wouldn’t.  

Ever since Atsumu had found out about his brother's little crush on you, he had made it his personal mission to tease ‘samu about it every single day.  

Atsumu pretty much said that Osamu was too much of a scaredy cat to ask you out and if ‘samu didn’t ask you out by the end of the day, Atsumu would take you out on a date instead.

So, insert Miya Osamu immediately walking towards you without another word to his brother.  He stopped you in the hallway and simply asked, “Would you like to go on a date sometime?”

Is he proud that it took his brother threatening him to get him to ask you out? No. Does he regret asking you out? Also no.

Osamu made you food and took you on a picnic for your first date ;-; He would’ve liked to have just invited you over and cooked with you, but Atsumu was home and there isn’t a bigger vibe killer than your twin brother down the hall playing video games with his friends.

It takes a lot for anything to really piss Osamu off.  He would never yell at you, but he does have his moments where he gets annoyed and everything just bottles up until he snaps at you.

Instantly feels bad.  The way you flinch at his words has his temper fizzling away from him in a moment’s notice.  He’ll wrap you in a bone crushing hug, apologizing into your hair, not even giving you a chance to speak, because he’s practically smothering you against his shoulder.

Hahahahaha he’s one of the most jealous people that you will ever meet.

Maybe it’s from growing up with a brother and constantly having to share that made him despise the thought of someone else looking at you now.  

Osamu is a pretty big guy which already makes him kind of intimidating, but his deadpan expression and bored words just adds another layer of icing to the cake. 

His grip on your hand will tighten until his knuckles are white and you’re squirming in an attempt to pull your hand away because his grip is kind of uncomfortable.  

He won’t even say anything.  He’ll just stare and make the occasional back-handed remark towards whatever guy had approached you.

He really doesn’t like to cuddle.  You can lay your head on his shoulder or his chest, but other than that, he doesn’t really see the appeal of it, and, quite honestly, he’s fine without it. 

But, he does like to hold your hand.  Like-

Always.  If you’re just sitting on the couch together, he wants to hold your hand.  You guys are waiting for something to finish up in the oven?  He’s holding your hands in his.  There’s just something so comforting to him about feeling your hands in his 

In conclusion.  Hi, I love Miya Osamu and I would like to purchase one ASAP. Thank you.

Taglist: @moncymonce​ @nicka-nell​ also hey @nekxrizawa​ come get your husband.