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wish the little listicles and articles reccomending google alternatives didnt like, mention ios. like no offense but do you think i dont know what an iphone is. you think im looking into google alternatives but i dont know that apple exists? you really think that? if i was going to buy a fucking apple product id already be doing that?
#toy txt post#I think id rather try to brute force my brain to learn fuckinf. idk. coding shit than fuck w apple#idc they say theyre better about privacy lol i dont trust them either#also like lol better about privacy but they out here pioneering in the field of planned obsolescence and im not fucking with that OS sorry#i simply cannot#idk its just like. the article be like 5 NON GOOGLE GPS OPTIONS and i get all excited and its loke heres 4 kind of mediocre pain in the ass#obscure things you can try that require some sort of technical skill to install and have less convenient updated features than google. and#also apple maps. sorry have you heard about The Iphone(tm)? just making sure youre aware of one of the biggest non google tech companies#in case you somehow missed it??#like. sorry. what??#anyway. i really hope this goes without saying but this is Not the post for you to rave about How Cool Apple Is and How Much You Love Your#Apple Products and Why I Should Switch To Apple! good for you glad you like your shit make your own post and fuck off!#argh#anyway. currently thinkjng about l#buying another s7 off amazon and 1) making sure it works w my sim card before i do anything 2) fucking around and finding out#w one of those alternative OSs like uhhhh iodé or whatever on either the new s7 OR. my old one. idk. want to see if i can do it and make it#work. im sure itll be a huge pain in the ass and ill freak out and give up partway through or smth#need to look into how that interacts w like? my ohine service if at all?#also want to look into uhhh#trying to reinstall old versions of the samsung camera and gallery/photo editor apps on my newer device maybe just to see if i can pull it#off and have like a fully updated OS without switching to a camera i hate#and it would be cool to have whatever version of the photo editor pro i have on my s7 on my other devices cos it lets me do things i cant do#on these
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im so fucking tired of the disrespect gifmakers get on the gifmaker website
#kai.txt#negativity tw#(sorry these are gonna be a lot of tags. i have a lot of feelings and i dont know where else to put them)#we make gifs and nobody reblogs them#when they do get reblogged all people want to tell you is that your gifs arent good enough to them and rip it to shreds#'you're missing x' 'why didnt you do y' 'if i made this i would have abc' 'hey op ur wrong and this is why' 'i dont like this op'#reposters dont even reblog your fucking gifset but they'll save your gifs to repost later asking for how to do something#that they could have asked you how to do in the fucking first place#we reblog ourselves constantly because nobody else will and maybe to make our work look like it has more notes than it does#to make ourselves feel better about the lack of interaction we're getting#and then when we TALK about this frustration we have. people who are too afraid to say it to our faces#go on anon in our askboxes and tell us how we're somehow selfish for wanting people to interact with the sets#that we spent time on. hours. days. WEEKS in some cases#or we get anons who tell us the reason we dont have notes are because we arent good at gifmaking in the first place#but this is all on anon. because they're too scared to tell it to our faces#they're too scared for us to see that they ARENT a gifmaker and that they dont know how to do it any better either#they dont see us as people doing something we love as a hobby. they see us as content machines that dance like court jesters#im just so fucking tired of the disrespect#and this sentiment goes for more than just gifmakers. graphicmakers. artists. literally any creative hobby shared on this site#we get treated like shit and for what? literally for fucking what.
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Trafalgar Law and shreds of closeness part 3: Donquixote Family Edition
What can I say, I got struck with inspiration yet again, the thoughts just do not want to leave me. This time it will get dark. And it will hurt, so feel warned. I will take a closer look at Law's closeness to the Donquixote Family and also do a small case study of affection between Doffy and Cora and their dad as well, to get a fuller context. Main focus will be on physical affection, yet again.
So what do you think, did Law get support and affection from his "second family"? I would say, very little. But let's look at evidence:
We have verbal support from Doflamingo himself when Giolla and Buffalo start to fear to touch Law or to even stay in the same room after they learn he's sick. That's 1:0 for him, I'm sure Law appreciated and remembered it. In retrospection, it would have been better for him if he didn't.
Then we have Giolla and Machvise who handled him like he's an object. Giolla keeps touching Law on the head, probably not caring why he seems displeased with it. She's just reinforcing the trauma, but I think overall she means well, she just doesn't think much about it. Giolla also shows Law the most physical affection and I swear it feels like she's trying to make up for her initial reaction, she's just not going the right way about it, making it worse instead.
Meanwhile we have Doflamingo, who despite defending Law before, never touches him. And I mean, never ever. Doffy remains cold not only with Law though, which we will see in a moment.
And then we have Baby5. She feels sorry for Law and even cried for him when she heard the story of Flevance (not in Law's presence tho), but she herself is bad with affection and care, because she also never received much, it also doesn't help that she is genuinely scared of Law's angry glares. All she can do to show him she cares is to smack and scold him. And of course when she does smack him it's on the head, which only becomes a trauma trigger over and over again. Those two just completely miss each other by a mile.
That's it. No other Donquixote Family's member ever tried to show some care in front of Law. They train him of course, but would you count kicking and punching him as a positive experience? Yeah, I don't think so.
And let's not forget Corazon, who carried Law like a bag of potatoes (and threw him around) for a long time, even after he kidnapped him. The Trip to Hospitals All Around the World kinda made him become better, holding Law close, trying to make him smile, carrying him all the time and at one point he even begs Law: "please give me the chance to do things right, stay strong for 3 more weeks!". Doesn't change the fact the touches he did give Law at the beginning were brutalized forms of affection, and we can't really forget that fact: that's exactly how Law's trauma of being touched on the head even started in the first place.
He already trained for awhile, but he still failed in the confrontation, and I think it was because of the touch. Being pinned down made Law probably freeze and unable to move. But even after being saved by Doflamingo, Law doesn't even try to seek support in him, unlike Baby5. Here we can see Doflamingo is alright if someone seeks comfort in him, but he will not give it by himself. That makes Doflamingo-Law combo the worst possible match up, a person who will never give it first and a person who will never ask for it, no wonder things were always cold between them.
Thanks to the fight against Smoker in Punk Hazard we learn that Law managed to overcome his trauma of being pinned down to a significant degree, because he manages to escape on his own. This scene gets an extra focus in the manga (it takes like 5 different frames!) which further convinces me it's that siginifcant. Law probably trained himself not to get overwhelmed like that ever again. Still, I can't help but notice soon after this happened Law starts to have troubles breathing, which means it still didn't leave him unaffected. He pushes to finish the fight faster afterwards as well.
One of his trauma triggers is feeling helpless and being pinned down definitely counts for that. I don't think this started with Vergo, I would say it was already a thing after Flevance, when he had to discover more and more dead bodies of people dearest to him, unable to do anything about it.
Let's look at his symptoms thanks to which we can recognize he's going through a triggering situation. Visible shivering, heavy panting (to the point of weezing which makes me think it can even go as far as bordering on hyperventilation or the opposite - apnea). And then in the last image he just goes stiff which I interpret as him completely freezing up. Damn, that's actually a lot. It's very similar to Robin's trauma responses in Water 7.
You can also notice that Law clenches his fists and it seems to be a sign that he's struggling or forcing himself to be strong. He still does it *a lot* when he's an adult. I think it might have honestly became a habit. He does that just before a battle, in most stressful situations when he knows he can't show his emotions (or just doesn't want to), and well, if we go by the anime version, also when he leaves Wano with his own crew. Basically any time he makes a firm resolve or a hard decision, he also does that. I swear sometimes it feels like he struggles for half of the Dressrosa and Punk Hazard, which you know what, might be way too accurate.
Also bonus wholesome points for Luffy caring more to support Law and Muucy than caring for falling into water himself. I'm not sure how much that helped Law when he was dealing with a triggering situation, especially that unfortunate contact with the top of his head. I guess it's still better than similar situation but with Law completely alone.
This puts this scene into a completely new perspective, right? He's shivering here and definitely froze up, even his speech bubble looks distressed. He's not getting angry here, his trauma trigger kicked in. I did check if he ever shivers or freezes up when he tries to, for example, stop himself from feeling angry, but no, we never see that happen. I'm sorry for ruining the comedy :( tho to make it better, he's also shocked, because just moments before Strawhats feared him, and now they already don't and even laugh at him. Damn, I'm now so torn about this scene, I mean, Strawhats couldn't have known!
Now a promised closer look at Donquixote family's approach to closeness and touch. When they were still Celestial Dragons, they barely touched each other. No small touches on the back, hand holding or anything else you usually share with kids. The closeness starts only after they're all starting to be persecuted. First time we see Doffy holding his mom's hand is when they run away from their burning house. First time we are shown Homing hugging his kids is when village people are beating them up and he is just trying to cover them with his own body, so he takes the beating instead of his kids.
The last memory Rosinante has of his father is the hug. And the first memory he has of Sengoku is also a sort of half-hug. Might be why he got so attached to him.
Little Doflamingo and Rosinante are always together, but they never touch in any way. It's clearly Doffy who takes care of his younger brother, probably also telling him to toughen up.
Weird mocking touch on the head from Trebol. And like always, no one ever touches Doflamingo, not even his own officers, and that's true ever since Doffy was a child.
He even tells Trebol he's too close. Doffy doesn't want touches anymore, because it seems in his mind he understands them as someone protecting him, and he doesn't need protection. Ever since he killed Homing, Doffy took the role of being a head of the family and protecting Rosinante, so no more hugs or hand holding for him. In other words, Doflamingo associates physical affection with protection and incoming abuse. And whenever he touches someone it's exactly for that reason: to hurt them.
An interesting parallel because this happens in exactly same chapter: Law is trying to move away because Luffy's "too close". He even lets him take the transponder away and just stands there and waits. And you might wonder: what for? Is he hoping Luffy will give it back by himself?
No, it just took some extra time for Law to brace himself to touch Luffy and shove him to the side. Even though both Doffy's and Law's first instinct here is to move away, Law is struggling but actually tries to overcome it, contrary to Doffy, who seems content in his "no touching" comfort zone.
Let's take a look at Dressrosa now. Doffy is carrying Law by his clothes, Law is unconscious, but he will not touch him directly anyway. Cora-san used to do it as well at first to Law.
But then, you might ask, they fought so much in Dressrosa, surely some kind of touch had to happen as a result? I mean, most of them were indirect touches with Doffy's strings, kicking Law or stopping him by grabbing his sword. But you are right, exactly two touches do happen. You're not gonna like it.
This is literally the first time Doflamingo ever touched Law. To stop his attack he forcefully grabbed his hand. Law is shivering, this actually triggers him, and there's just no way Doflamingo doesn't know that, he can feel it.
And then he makes the full use of the situation. Doflamingo holds Law up in the air, but we can see by the onomatopeia that he's literally holding him up by his hand alone and Law is just freely dangling there, Doffy's not using any strings to immobilize him, not even armament haki. He doesn't even need to. Finally he gave Law the touch he must have been craving when he was a child from him, but it's not a caring one, and what's the next thing Doflamingo does to that hand he just touched? He cuts it off, ripping open the psychological wounds, making them deeper, perhaps hoping Law will never recover from them. Because that's the easiest way to control him later if he wishes to do so, to make him pliant, defenseless and unable to fight back and terrified. But also to punish him for the "rebellion" against him... but also to punish Law for his need and fear of touch. This is a lesson: never want affection, closeness or touch, you're never getting any. Unless it's this: abuse. And if you don't think this is terrible enough, let me remind you: this is their first touch *ever*, Law probably waited for it when he was a kid.
And Law is just hanging there, not even trying to move, and it lasts for like three or four pages long, and I remember when I reread this a couple of times, I was a bit puzzled. Why isn't Law struggling to release himself? Why is he just letting this happen? Especially when it's becoming very clear what Doflamingo is gonna do next. So I have my answer: Law froze up, it's his body shutting off on it's own and all he can do is to just be there and wait for it to be over. It's painful, because we know Law always struggles, always fights back, and he tries here, with words, but he can't do anything else and he just watches it happen.
And this is the second time Doflamingo touches him. It's after the Gamma Knife attack, Doffy knows what he's doing here, he chooses to make contact with Law's head/face (he must have noticed Law's discomfort to it before when Giolla often did it to Law as a kid, and now he utilized this knowledge). He tries to make Law freeze up so he can't finish his move and who knows, maybe that was the final factor of why Law failed to kill off Doflamingo.
To wrap things up, I will share the interesting parallel that I think can be drawn between two rather unexpected characters: Law and Boa.
Both Law and Boa are most comfortable around Bepo (and the snake in Boa's case). Both are victims of brutalized touch and lack of loving and caring one. But while Law fearfully accepts what's given to him, Boa rejects it (even symbolically by kicking fluffy animals away or refusing any show of affection like gifts). Both are touch starved, but Boa will never even try to touch Luffy, and the only time Luffy touched her was in that stealth mission in Impel Down (they didn't have the choice) and hugging her after she gave him the key to Ace's cuffs. Boa doesn't return the gesture, she is very flustered and falls to the ground afterwards, which reminds me a little of her later scene with Rayleigh. Not even Boa's own sisters are shown to share any sort of physical affection with her, Boa shows cold and manipulative attitude to almost everyone besides them. The only other person Boa ever touched was Rayleigh (she's on the ground here again) after he helped them fight off Blackbeard's assault on Amazon Lily and it might be a traumatic response: Blackbeard tried to strangle her after all. Boa's love is passionate and platonic, she shows her affection and caring with indirect gestures (food preparation, offering support and help etc.), probably because that's what she remembers others tried doing for her before. She can't even deal with intimacy face to face and Law also tends to act cold to very open displays of affection and emotions.
Big thanks to @tae-rambles for mentioning the scene with Boa that completely slipped my mind <3 added it in the edit!
#one piece#trafalgar law#donquixote doflamingo#corazon#trauma#emotional damage#I did it again and I don't know whether it will happen again#it just happens because I always had a lot of thoughts about Law but now it just clicked into place like a missing puzzle piece#but I somehow enjoy it#I feel like I understand Law much better now but I'm also really exposing and ripping open his heart for everyone to see#I'm sorry Law#one piece meta#in case you didn't notice I will mostly write about Law#he lives rent free in my head#I'm just that monothematic#you think I will finally run out of topics? Challenge accepted!#Law and PTSD
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congrats on being alive bot. you truly were The Character Ever
#inanimate insanity#ii#ii bot#bot ii#clover ii#ii clover#vaguely ii neg but that's just me dunking on the bot plushie its not srs#mephone's dialogue is that one lois video. i was thinking about it because of pb getting out in the saem episode bot ocmes out#i can handle ONE nonbinary character but TWO... where's the cis rep here folks#< JOKE. JOKE. JOKE. JOKE. JOKE. JOKE#unrelated but what the hell happened to paintbrush. i was wathcing the new ii why have they just been softened down into wholesome-#-lightbrush bright lights shipbait slop. that's mean but like what the hell. they were killed and replaced i swear#apple and paintbrush [salute] you will be missed. cause of death ae shipbaiting#ii neg#< eh#it's not that serious but whatever. just in case#it's just too easy to pick on this show. low hanging fruit#cant wait for the new ii where bot learns that fan&test tube are dead and they're just like “HELL YES!!!!!!!!”#< no.. they'll force Le Fantube Family Angst into it somehow#wouldn't be killing bot's characterization because they have Literally None lol#most nothingburger character ever box was a deeper character
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The unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching begins to fill the air. Whoever is coming seems to have brought some company along…
They are getting closer… and closer… and closer…
…and closer…
……until..................
"Goooooood evenin'!!" Comes the loud greeting from a certain blond man. A big smile on his face and all.
"We beg your pardon for our prolonged absence. It was completely beyond our control..." Then adds the gentleman standing by his side, apologizing on behalf of both, offering a genuine smile along with the apology.
"...BUT! We're back!" And hopefully for good this time…
#[HI HIIIIIII~~ HOW'S EVERYONE DOING?? 8)]#[IDK IF ANYONE REMEMBERS ME OR MY MUSES ANYMORE?? BUT HELLOOO]#[one million years later but we're backkkkkk]#[i'd like to start by apologizing for completely disappearing for months without any announcement]#[life has been far from kind all this year so far and this has greatly and negatively impacted me emotionally]#[like..very VERY badly (harmful stuff and etc)]#[all to a point where i've had to take some time off from most social media]#[and which is also why i haven't checked or replied to any messages anywhere in a while]#[not that i'm the most social and most active person ever but you get what i mean here ;v;]#[the original plan was to come back here like a month or so ago but as you can guess i was unable to due to the same irl issues]#[i'm not gonna lie i'm still not doing well]#[but i wanted to come back or at least try to]#[since writing for these two and the ogre street guys always brings me joy and i also missed everyone here!]#[i'm still unsure if dropping threads will be the way to go for now or not#because i have no idea if my partners are still interested in any threads we had prior my unannounced hiatus]#[or if anyone's still interested in interacting with me and my muses again ;v;]#[so if we have ongoing threads i'll likely be jumping into your IMs over the course of the days to ask about it]#[i just need to check my thread tracker first because i can't remember what i owed last time ;;;;;;]#[as always: we can start new stuff any time in case you're no longer feeling whatever threads we had]#[and we can also start from scratch if that's best too]#[so no worries there!]#[enough blablah from me for now]#[i missed you all so much!]#[and to the new followers this blog somehow earned in my absence: Hi!! Thank you for following and I hope we can interact soon!!]#[hope everyone has been doing great during my absence!! <3]#;speedwagon says (( ic ))#;jonathan says (( ic ))#;ic#(??#;speedwagon withdraws coolly
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Joe on Ja'Marr buying him a grill and "giving him" a spot on his top 5 most fashionable NFL guys list
#'i'll put ja'marr on that list. i'll give him that'#ok joe ok#still the first guy that pops into your head but hey 🙂🙂#ALSO this is infuriating me#the interviewer says 'you mentioned ja'marr and justin'#i scroll up in the interview in case i somehow missed that#NO WHERE TO BE FOUND#then it says at the top that the interview has been edited for clarity#WHAT DID HE SAY ABOUT JUSTIN AND JA'MARR????? YOU CUT IT??? HOW DARE YOU????????#at least we got this though#i hope he still has that grill <3#joe burrow#ja'marr chase#also hell yeah chido and vonn mention#i think every teammate has said they're the most fashionable at this point#(i just doubled check to see if i was going crazy and they spelled vonn's name wrong 😢)
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Some very troubling news today gang. Greed x Ling is problematic :(
I'm so sorry to have been glorifying the relationship between a five minute old incarnation of a sin and a 15 year old prince... the power imbalance is foul. Ling must pay for his cradle robbing...
#in case you somehow missed everything my blog was about THIS IS A JOKE#i know greed/ling has an age gap and i do not care <3#ling yao#greed the avaricious#greedxling
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sleep token invading my brain and all i can think about is these stupid vampire queer elves doing tender lovin'
anyway wip in between all the other projects on my table
fuck me i guess
#akdhkahdkshfkhf#ascended astarion#wip#vampire lord astarion#vampire tav#loki wren#locke artorius gaude#locke gaude#might as well make tags for my tav while we're at it hmm#vampires#gay#queer#gay brain doing gay things im supposed to catch up on sleep#this is your warning to unfollow if you dont like seeing me draw gay shit#my profile blurb says gay man really loudly in case that was somehow missed lol#my tav#bg3#tavstarion#half elf#im slowly warming up to feeling confident drawing SPICY#all tho this is kinda mild tbh#im not a chili pepper kinda guy#the hot weather has been murdering me
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dishes are forever
#I MISSED HAVING A TABLET!!!!#ht papyrus#a gentle touch when you're sad#a menacing touch when it would be funny#he can do it all#LITTLE PRO TIP LIFE HACK THOUGH: IF WASHING DISHES MAKES YOU WANT TO LIVE ON A DIFFERENT PLANET#MAYBE YOU HAVE TOO MANY DANG DISHES#BEING IN A SITUATION WHERE I HAVE 80% FEWER DISHES THAN BEFORE MEANS I DO DISHES MORE OFTEN BUT IT'S SO EASY#AND NOT SOUL SUCKING AT ALL#JUST MY EXPERIENCE!!!!!! THAT'S ALL#I'm sure when i am reunited with my other dishes i will languish in bed staring at this psyching myself up to the task#but i like keeping random jars from food i bought and dishes that i picked up in different places.#they physically remind me of everywhere I've been and sometimes i just look at them and remember where I've been#my favorite is the old ratatouille jar i bought at carrefour in Chengdu#that jarred ratatouille was the nastiest food to grace this earth#i bought it in case it would make a quick easy meal (you don't really find those at the grocery store in China at least not back then)#but even my cheap lazy self couldn't eat it#so no one ever consumed that ratatouille but the jar was pretty big so i put other stuff in it and now it's my dish#and somehow the label is glued on PERMANENTLY it has never washed off after all these years#actually idk maybe it eventually did it isn't here for me to look at but it lasted a long time i know that
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post apocalypse au where the plot of stranger things doesn't happen but vecna still tears the world open and brings the upside down right side up. and the scattered people who managed to survive the initial earthquakes and power outages and complete breakdown of society have to contend not only with creatures from the upside down trying to eat them, but also with what the bleeding of an alternate dimension into their reality is doing to their bodies
people with prolonged exposure to larger tears seem to be slowly changed into something else, like some radioactivity from the dimension is mutating them. people grow claws, or leathery wings, or their face peels open, or they turn into unrecognisable piles of eldritch goo. there's vampires, were-demogorgons, flayed, weird ghosts, and the number of super powered people like el was in the show skyrockets
other people who manage avoid this fate shun those that fell to it. and to an extent it's reasonable, some people who get changed in this way completely lose their humanity, like the flayed, and while others retain it it probably doesn't seem that way when a vampire-like person needs human blood to survive. but a lot of people are just as terrified of the changes happening to them as other people are, and while they may not be harmless, they'd much rather use their new biological advantages to keep people safe
despite this, people that have been 'corroded' by the upside down are ostracised, feared, sometimes outright hunted by regular humans. so sometimes, they band together. form their own little apocalypse groups
eddie is in one of those groups. he wouldn't say he's the leader, bc they don't really have a hierarchical structure and eddie likes to think he's managed to maintain his anarchic ideals even in the face of the apocalypse. but he is the oldest, and the most scary looking (if not the most actually dangerous), so the combination of everyone being younger and his ability to scare off corroded-hunters that come looking for them means everyone else kind of follows his lead
so no one really questions when he comes back to camp one day holding two passed out humans. a mole-dotted man and a freckled woman, probably about eddie's age, who were injured and had crawled into a ruin building to die. and like. what was eddie supposed to do, leave them there??? no, gareth, it has nothing to do with how pretty the guy is. no, eddie doesn't know how they'll react when they wake up in the middle of a corroded camp, they'll cross that bridge when they get there. el says she senses that they're good people, so clearly everything will be fine actually!!!!!
#feel free to write this i feel like it requires a story beyond my scope of capabilities but i really love this idea#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#i haven't decided who i want to be corroded in this au and what their corrosions are#i think eddie's some eldritch looking fuck tho#i feel like dustin is part of the pack but he's not actually corroded and frankly he's a little salty about it#like maybe all the kids joined together bc they were all corroded and it somehow just missed him#and he's constantly trying to do science about them bc 'SOMEONE has to this is scientifically fascinating!!'#and eddie's like kid if i catch you taking notes while im eating ONE MORE TIME i swear to god i'll become a stereotype#also i came up with the word corroded bc i think it encompassed the body horror element i wanted more than 'mutated' did#and then i realised the corroded coffin pun and i was like. oh my god. im a genius.#also if it wasn't clear the humans are stobin#not to be separated even in cases of apocalypse and possible death#they realised they were bleeding too much and were probably gonna die and were like#at the same time huh? checks out. let's go find a hole
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As she looks upon them, seeing the way their hands so naturally curl around each other, something bittersweet resonates in Lily's chest. She still isn't sure she wholly understands the sensation, or what just happened to her -- what role she played in dispatching Mitron, in freeing Gaia from his grasp.
She's so beyond relieved to see Gaia safe, to see Ryne's hand in hers. To feel the soft grass spreading beneath their feet and witness the brilliant colors of the rainbow-colored crystal before them -- their mission appears to have been a resounding success on every possible level.
Yet this ache lingers in her heart -- similar, but not quite in the same arena as the lingering trauma from her first love, nor is it the bitterness that has weighed upon her since Yugiri's gentle rejection. It's not even the whirlpool she's been slowly drowning in since she first noticed the way Ellie and Mia have been looking at each other recently.
It's a strangely contented ache, as oxymoronic as that sounds. Like she's reconciled a part of herself. Like she has, for once, even though she's lost something in the process, accepted this turn of events. And she has -- she's really, truly, genuinely happy for Ryne and Gaia.
A voice within her is saying this is good, this is right, and she feels oddly inclined to heed it. Maybe she hasn't lost so much as she thinks.
a vague skeleton of the plot thoughts i have about Lily and Eden: seeing Ryne and Gaia's affection for each other blossoming forces Lily to confront some of her own conceptions of what love is after the trauma she's been through, and maybe learn how to process the broken pieces of herself she's never been able to pick up. And maybe she gets a hand when she realizes her soul resonates too much with the Ascian who wants Gaia all for himself. And maybe her reconciliation involves her literally reconciling with the man who turns out to be another shard of her soul.
so yeah Lily's ancient self was Artemis in case that wasn't obvious, and she probably ends up merging with Mitron the same way Ellie merged with Ardbert. and the point of this is ??? idk but it feels cool gshalkfakjfk
extremely silly bonus:
"What in the godsdamn-- Mia, is it just me, or--" "Ellie, I swear, if this is about the ghosts again, I'm throwing you into that lake."
#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv screenshots#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv miqo'te#ryne waters#gaia ffxiv#rynegaia#my ocs: lilyana tsuki#oc loreposting#this has been sitting in drafts for a while but seeing that post with the anon bitching about “special snowflake OCs”#and even though this still feels a little undercooked esp the writing i feel like posting out of spite lmao#like bruh you really think missing an eye is beyond the pale for special snowflake OCs?#i made one of my girls the reincarnation of an ancient lesbian before we even knew she was canonically a woman back then#this whole thing might just be an excuse to justify a power level increase for lily because she's recombining with one of her shards#(and somehow make it gay)#and maybe that's cringe but fuck it this game is special snowflake simulator 2013-2024 lmfao#long post#just in case
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any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that
if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it
#snap chats#no one understands how much i love that from y3 and y4 its genuinely one of my favorite things about the game#oh but i guess i have to give an actual answer now. HMPH.#id scream if they revived kanda calling mine limp wristed. homophobia in 4k#OK BUT TO BE SERIOUS uhhhh i dont know. im a real simple guy i think#my only like. If This Isnt There Im Leaving deal is mine's palette and im so serious#rgg's scaring me with all the black-hair/purple-suit mine stuff as of late and i cant stress how hard ill vomit if thats in the final#HYPOTHETICAL final anyways. yk3 isnt coming out for. IDK A WHILE#i wanna say i hope they highlight daigo and mine's relationship more but i dont know how theyd do that#i really like how mine's handled in y3 as is so i dont think i want scenes injected like what they did with yk1 and nishiki#someone said a Mine Saga after the game and... hm ... sounds too unrealistic for me to hope for it#like im REALLY trying to think how they could possibly reference the rggo stories in y3 since those are EXCELLENT but#i think . MAYBE. you could reference the story where richardson calls mine as he's driving to the hospital#the only thing you'd have to exclude though is mine stopping by the bar- like JUST keep the phone conversation maybe#cause in that scene that subordinate does question mine if he can really kill daigo and i think thatd be neat. in my opinion.#yeah i dont know. in regards to rggo its hard to think of what i want without intervening things i already like about y3#its a real head scratcher ...#a really good epilogue addition would be adapting that RGGO bit where daigo ruminates on mine. that's a fair ending for him i think#it also fulfills the need to see how daigo saw mine even if its just a little#and to non-rggo readers it could start to answer 'how does daigo feel about everything that happened'#im still so curious as to if daigo was briefed on EVERYTHING that happened but .... anyways....#sorry all my hopes for y3 are just mine/minedai centric fLVKELKA BUT LIKE. i really am content with everything else with y3 surprisingly#idk. i want kiryu fucking up that curry in high definition tho. thats important to me#THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE QTES DURING THE RICHARDSON FIGHT ILL BE PISSED#i need the fight to be AS CAMPY and unnecessary as it was in the og. INCLUDING richardson's voice acting i need it wack as hell#is it weird i actually appreciate the Diet Building Loredumping being like. in replayable-cutscene form#i thought id prefer just One Long cutscene but im glad theres the option to skip those segments#BUT being able to get a refresher in case you missed something somehow#im running out of tags jesus christ i shouldve put this in the main text but vjALjlagj those are all my thoughts for now bYE
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Luna has been mentioned in a D.isco chat which means I am contractually obligated to post York.
#honestly that's a damn lie because I regularly update Steph on Luna's daily doings#but I figure I /probably/ shouldn't post pictures of her here every single day#if you make eye contact with Luna for even .1 seconds she'll trot off and grab a toy to go 'playtime???'#may even gruff and bark a little at you to get your attention#or drop it on your feet in case you somehow missed it#:outofcash#Luna and her toys have a very special relationship#and she has a very special process for a new toy#first she runs around the house with it seeing if anyone will chase her (her second-favorite game)#then she'll sit down and TEAR! OUT! THAT! SQUEAKER!#like a woman possessed she will not rest until she's torn out that toy's heart (squeaker)#she's gotten scarily impressive at it and has greatly improved her time score#(we monitor her and grab the squeaker once it's out so we don't risk her eating any plastic)#then-- the guts (stuffing)#targeting the hole she made she methodically pulls out the cotton bit by bit#if she's lucky we'll engage her in a game of tug of war (her first favorite game)#all in all Luna loves tearing up toys and feels great enjoyment from her new toy routine and can tell when she's getting a new one#she once got excited at my friend's baby once because she thought the bundle we were holding just /had/ to be a toy for her...#anyways! enough Luna posting#sigh I miss my little Y.orkie 😂
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All I want is to compile a list of my favourite lines from fics for this post, invent a system for organising the hundreds of fics that I've read to make that knowledge useful and for someone to tell me what the fuck was going on in IWTB because I'm not sorry I am not watching that mess again. Is that too much to ask for?
#re: IWTB like what is up with the ambiguous break up shit?#when I watched it when it came out I was busy being mad about a whole lot of things about it#but somehow I missed? they were breaking up? What?#speaking as the most diehard you can't tell me shit they love each other and will live happily ever after goddammit shipper you will meet#I feel like I would have picked up on them breaking up#I thought she was just pissy and saying she wasn't coming home while he was working the case because she couldn't be around that again#Like you do that Mulder while I GOOGLE stem cell research like a high school student but I'm sleeping at the hospital#Catch you on the flip side#and he was devastated because she didn't want to work with him when it was his first chance to do what he was good at again in years#but in their typical can't be more than 6 inches away from one another without losing their shit way#does the revival breakup give people that lens through which to view iwtb?#or am I just really missing the obvious here?#the x files#iwtb#i want to believe
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🫥
#random personal stuff#whining ahead feel free to ignore#after a little over two weeks with my family I guess it was hard today to go back to church here and#be reminded how easy it is to feel utterly disconnected for some reason#I have a small amount of friends whom I do very much appreciate#but otherwise it's like going through life in a glass case#which is probably my fault somehow#anyway I miss going to a smaller church (it got assimilated into this huge one)#and I miss smaller more intimate Bible study groups#there are more people around now whom it's not easy to be real or vocal in front of#(including the lady who once asked if I were one of the then-pregnant women and can't remember my name etc.)#and that's not their fault and they have every right to be there#it's just a different dynamic and unfortunately it's one that I haven't figured out how to be comfortable in yet#feeling like you belong with particular people is just really hard you know?#it has to be earned and proven and mulled over sometimes for years#before it's ever even believable#I got assigned a while back to consider why the whole disconnect thing#still drawing a blank#probably supposed to have an epiphany about what I'm doing wrong#if so can it be shipped a little faster because I don't have time for this nonsense
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For some reason, this round of meds (same dose and everything as last time) is making me have very violent Realisations and Remembering Things moments. And by that I mean the Thing I Forgot and/or the Realisations show up with a bat and see how hard they can make my brain hit the wall. So anyway.
YOU GUYS REMEMBER SPIKE THE WETFLOOR BOT??? YOU GUYS REMEMBER HER??? THE FIRST FAZBEAR ANIMATRONIC TO BE BORN FROM LOVE INSTEAD OF PAIN??? YOU REMEMBER HER???
CAUSE I JUST DID
#SPPIIIIKKKEEEEEE I MISS YOOOUUUU#I love spike. spike the wet floor bot is my favourite. I miss her I should bring her back somehow#the first animatronic to gain sentience and awareness out of LOVE and CARE#I miss her we need to bring her back. I never made a visual design but I definitely posted some descriptions of her pretty sure#a wet floor bot... a little wonky and a little off colour. holes in it's damaged and dented casing patched up with scrap#never the same colour. always different#stickers and magnets and a lil bit of spray paint. part of an ear missing and crooked#has one of roxy's spiked bracelets around her neck with a keyring dangling from it like a tag...#she picked her own name and pronouns... doesn't really understand what they are and what they mean but she wants them#in one AU she was Roxy's little distraction. something to work on and repair while the others search the rubble of the plex for-#their friends. In another Roxy repaired her for fun unknowingly after Vanny had used her as a test subject for the virus#in another one post-ruin roxy and cassie were searching the plex for an easy animatronic for roxy to repair so cassie's dad could-#test what she'd learned about repairing them from him and found a salvageable wet floor bot#that they then wrapped in tarp and put in a shopping trolley to take her straight home and get to work on her much to the-#confusion of literally everyone as they barrel down the halls of flats with an unidentified tarp blob in a stolen shopping trolley#<- that one's Meteors AU btw. Roxy got turned into a Real Boy by the Meteor and is now living with Cassie as her adopted sister#this is just the kind of shit these two get up to all the time and no one knows who's meant to be the braincell between them because well#they keep taking turns on who the older sibling is. they keep changing it. the eldest sibling is based entirely on the situation lmao#who's bright idea was it to steal a wet floor bot? WHO KNOWS!! Cassie said 'pick an animatronic!' so they did that's all there is to it!#cassie's dad just. head in hands. as he realises. the fucking wet floor sign on wheels is sentient now.#why. why and how. terrified of the wrath of Fazbear if they find out. while she's just. trundling about.#wheels on carpet floor style. struggling but getting there. happy beeps as she pushes a ball around on the floor. living her best life.#sfdsfdsfs I fucking LOVE Spike okay I miss her I need to bring her back somehow#I could give her to mangle or sprocket in robot hell but I'm not doing much with that right now#sdhfdfsfs Chica's recipe zine starring Spike!! and every image of her is just confusion#'see? even Spike likes bananas!' Chica says as she puts one on the floor so Spike can very happily run it over.#dfsdfsds love Spike. Spike enrichment is now running random foods over because she can. and also the wheels off a toy monster truck#so she can be an ALL TERRAIN wet floor bot. make them gecko wheels like DJ's hands and she's got everyone beat lmao#she can be DJ's Uppies Buddy!!#lmao Spike I'm so sorry I've left you in the dark for so long I'm bringing you back. beloved guy of all time
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