#in case someone might not want to see or hear about that idk

[irrealisms]

this is still true of me (that i am more sensitive around therapsychiatry stuff recently) and it’s. idk. it can get really isolating to be a psych survivor. it feels like there’s medication and therapy positivity everywhere sometimes. and I don’t want to begrudge that because I know it helps people—hell, it’s helped me immensely! but it hurts for it to be everywhere. it feels like there is a megaphone aimed at me going JUST KEEP TRYING. DON’T GIVE UP. MAYBE THE PAST TEN YEARS OF THERAPY AND MEDICATION HAVENT FIXED YOU BUT ITS JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVENT FOUND ~THE ONE~. well maybe i want to give up. okay? maybe i want to give up. there was a good post I saw recently about physical disability and choosing not to go to PT and I’ve been thinking about it a lot. but also just. idk. i had what i think might have been my first real FlashbackTM at about the same time as i made the above post. a week and a half ago I almost ran away impulsively to a different state bc I was convinced if i came home they’d be waiting with handcuffs to take me back to the hospital. since last august my life has been going incredibly downhill. negative spiral. I know why for some of it but I don’t know why I started getting more sensitive abt therapsych stuff in November. but what am I supposed to do with that when all the advice is “have you tried therapy/meds?” YES! and one of my biggest fears is trying them again!!! they fucked me up and— I can’t even say “you can’t make me go back” because it’s not true, it would be pretty easy to make me go back, but—I don’t want to. okay? I don’t want to. and it’s unfair of me but it hurts sometimes to see people who were uncomplicatedly helped. It’s all jealous resentful upset maybe even angry. I don’t want to call seven therapists who all turn me down for being too complicated a case for them and then the eighth I go every week and stare at the wall for an hour and come home in tears because im too scared to talk to them and then as soon as I open up they baker act me. I can’t do that again. Im tired of it being the only choice I have if I ever want to feel better or even just “not suicidal”. I don’t want to hear anymore about how helpful it is. I know that’s bad but I don’t care right now. Im tired of therapy and meds being everywhere and I can’t avoid reminders without also avoiding things that help me and/or bring me joy. Normally this is the sort of thing I put in private discord vent channels but for whatever reason I’ve been posting on tumblr today? So you all get this. I don’t know. I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep and I’ve been physically sick for a week and I’m not getting better so you all get my ventblogging. can someone invent a world that doesn’t have therapists in it

i've been....notably more sensitive and easily upset around therapsychiatry stuff recently and i am genuinely unsure why. i haven't been in therapy in significantly over a year now. it's coming up on two years since my hospitalization. today i got upset over three different things about this and i think this is to some extent me being more easily upset than normal and i don't know why. well other than "i've been more easily upset about literally everything recently". but it's been notably worse wrt therapsych stuff! my next post is gonna be another more serious and thoughtful post but first i just want to do a more emotional "idk why this has been more of a sore subject recently and i wish it weren't" :/

[gluevah]

Went to the mall yesterday with Jeremy to see IF, which was a really lovely film. It made me super emotional though, I was crying at parts where I didn't even know why! Definitely recommend going to see it though.

We went to the Squishable store, I was hoping they had the weevil and the rainbow caterpillar but they didn't. I did not leave empty-handed though; they had a sale going on and I had just gotten paid, which is a recipe for trouble.

I ended up getting these guys!

I immediately picked up the bone dragon when I first came in because the spooky ones always look like they need love. I love all the different kinds of textures he has! Long fluffy fur, and 2 different types of minky. He does not stand up by himself, bless his heart. He is very cuddly and I love his bone wings! His finger claws are flat but the feet ones are 3D plush claws. His teeth are soft, not made of felt, but the edges are a bit rough.

The strawberry crocodile is one I've wanted since it came out, the shape is very nice for hugging and the fur is so soft! The underbelly is long minky. I love his little teefs, he's just a baby 🥺 Also he matches my bed so well lol

I wanted to get the micro nurse for awhile but just hadn't gotten around to picking one up. I got Jeremy the plague doctor, and I wanted us to have matching ones! The caterpillar is so cute, and they didn't have the rainbow one, so I picked him to be another lil portable buddy!

While we were at the mall, Jeremy and I got our ears pierced c: I used to have mine done but they closed. Jeremy had been wanting to get his ear pierced for awhile, and we figured hey why not while we're here. I'll ask him if I can post a photo of him here Here's us with our new earrings c:

We held each other's hands while we got it done; he was nervous because he didn't know how it'd feel, I was nervous because of who I am as a person.

[flyingspicerack]

mm...

[xiao-come-home]

Boothill relationship headcanons;

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✰ Characters: Boothill x reader.

✰ Words: ~1k.

✰ SFW+N//SFW ; SFW mentions no pronouns or gender of the reader. N//SFW section was written with fem!reader in mind.

Warnings: THIS HAS A NSFW PART. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS skip this section if possible. some of these hc are based on this post, since i wanted to write a little more about it.

A/N: BRAINROT gRR he truly gives me doctor by Miley Cyrus vibes. idk how to explain it but take it

┗━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━┛

Boothill:

SFW

he's such a gentleman! opens doors for you, pulls out a chair, kisses your hand when he sees you first for the day, it doesn't get boring for him at all. if you ignore some of his unhinged behaviors, then he's a perfect man.

like i mentioned in my previous post, he's VERY possessive of you. he does like to go to unknown clubs or bars with you to try out their best drinks in his spare time, though he doesn't have you attached to his hip (even.. if he wouldn't probably mind at all), he does keep a sharp eye on you. if a weird guy approaches you and you're clearly uncomfortable, he tries to intimidate the guy away and clearly let him see that you're his (aka placing his arm around your waist and pushing you into him), if being polite doesn't work, well, they have a rough night. not in a good way.

this man SCREAMS BACK HUGS!! since his body is like 90% metal and machines, he loves to embrace you from behind and wrap his arms around your tummy, while his chin rests on your shoulder. he misses the softness of his own skin, so having you gives him a lot of comfort; the warmth you're radiating makes him reluctant to ever pull away. boothill often finds himself touching his cheeks with his robotic arms, when they get warm enough - the feeling almost long forgotten in his mind.

speaking of back hugs: he's also very big on neck kisses, mostly giving than receiving, depending on how he feels, they're either very innocent and loving - very soft, paired with butterfly kisses, or biting you and then kissing it better, when things get steamy.

boothil finds it funny when his hair tickles you when he hugs you from behind. if he's feeling particularly like a little shit that day, he can annoy you the entire day like that, only to respond with "hmm? what do you mean? I'm not doing anything, baby!" ...don't tell him his smirk gives it away, but honestly, at this point, he probably doesn't try to hide it that well.

he DOES slap your ass when you go past him. EVERY time. it doesn't get boring for him, he likes the sound it makes AND how soft it is, bonus if it jiggles, then he's even more proud. he might offer "an apologetic massage," which you rarely agree to (but he'll try until u say yes).

if someone ever tinkers with his Synesthesia beacon, he cannot swear for his life. you might catch him trying to cook, spilling something, and then hearing loud "YOU LITTLE DAISY FLOWER! CUTIE PIE! CURSED FROG!" it's kinda impressive how colorful they can get...

speaking of his voice, he's probably able to manipulate it so it sounds the best according to your taste. although his flesh heart has been gone for so long, he still feels that familiar, warm feeling and squeeze of his own, mechanical one, when your answer is always the same - to modulate it so it sounds the closest to what it used to be, or that the current one is just as pleasant to hear.

he likes to kiss you. no matter where, or when. if he wants to, he'll get one, pressing you against him, cupping your face with one hand, and kissing your puckered lips. once you give in, he kisses you properly, caressing your cheek ever so slightly to ease any discomfort left, only to hold you tightly on your hips and whimper on purpose just to tease you more (i believe in boothill is a little shit theory).

if we assume his face is the only human part of him left (besides his eyes). In that case, he just truly loves the softness of your lips on his. he kisses you as much as he can, and will get all fussy and whiny if he doesn't get his good morning kiss, we-see-each-other-for-the-first-time-today kiss (note: this is not the same as good morning kiss), goodnight kiss and so on. yes, he could get it by himself, but he wants it from you first. he's just very stubborn.

watch out! he likes to draw blood on your lower lip when his intrusive thoughts win. he licks the blood off later, and gives it a loving kiss.

his hair is genuine, so he loves whenever you play with it, brush it, or take care of it in general. it's probably one of the very few human features of his, so if your boothill lets you carefully pamper it, let alone without flooding his cords, he's not only very impressed, but also very willing to indulge in more sessions.

finds it absolutely adorable when you wear his hat when he isn't looking. or, well, when you think he isn't looking.

N/SFW. minors and ageless blogs shoo!

the council has decided that he has a vibrator in place of his real junk. but if you're into experimenting and want him to feel a bit more, hm, natural - he's more than happy to change his parts. shape, size and pace - everything for his lady.

you can probably guess, but that's an absolute ass man. he sees you in tighter pants that hug you just so nicely and might go feral.

eats pussy like a starved man. he has no shame and licks, sucks, and fucks you with his tongue and THE SOUNDS could put the devil himself to shame. boothill always wants everyone to know that you're his, how you scream and moan for him, so in return - he never lets a drop of your juices go to waste, slurping and moaning into your slit.

he's literally so flexible, that he'll fuck you in every position you want him to. if it means he'll get deeper, he's on board. and probably on top of you too.

likes to grope you through your clothes. sounds very tame, but it really gets him going, and might sometimes cause trouble in public.. unless you WANT that trouble.

adding to the headcanon above - he truly just gets turned on by your skin, especially imperfections. stretch marks? he'll kiss them all, scars? he has them all memorized. when he touches you through your clothes, he already remembers what is where, it's like he's edging himself knowing that soon enough he'll undress you completely and see it clearly; he quite literally worships what truly makes you... you.

he. is. so. SO over when you pull on his hair. when you make out, when he fucks you - doesn't matter. DO IT and he'll go absolutely crazy, hissing in pleasure and grinding into you.

[tanadrin]

Sorry about the long ask, but what do you think about this claim: i often see marxists (and adjacent groups, blah blah) say that the united states (empire) is about to collapse or is gradually declining, something along those lines, and specifically with regard to its economy, military and ideology. For example, i was watching a video hosting Richard Wolff, and he claimed that the united states is being replaced by china as the global superpower; he compares the situation to the historical rise of the united states relative to the british empire that slowly took place in the 19th and 20th centuries. I think his comparison is slightly flawed (imo hes comparing apples to oranges here), but in the broad strokes he might be right? I also remember seeing a pretty respectable maoist on here claim the us military is failing. Idk, i would like to hear your take

This answer got real long, so I added a cut. The short version is "people who say things like this are living in a fantasy land, and you can safely ignore their opinions on anything else as a result."

The United States is not the USSR in 1990 or Somalia in 1994 or Rome in the fifth century, or anything similar. Failed states are absolutely a thing, and they're fascinating (and often quite depressing!) historical case studies, and the United States looks nothing like a failed state. It's not even about to collapse in the sense of "suffer a prolonged period of sharp economic decline that forces it to drastically reduce its presence in the wider world and curtails its power in influence." It's not even about to collapse in the sense of "experience significant regime change." The U.S. economy is, overall, doing quite well. There is no significant popular unrest. There is no elite appetite for revolution. There are not competing centers of power that would rather see the status quo burned to the ground than their rivals get power. You might want the U.S. to collapse, and you might not, but the idea it is about to is pure fantasy.

I think before we get to any other specific claims about the United States' position relative to other countries, it's important to note that claims of impending American collapse are, like claims of impending civilizational collapse or Paul Ehrlich's claim of worldwide hunger or breathless claims that the war in Ukraine is going to escalate into WW3 any day now, IMO affective claims about how the speaker feels about the world: there is a certain class of person who, whether out of nihilistic glee, hope of revolutionary change, or simply untrammeled anxiety sees the signs of collapse all around them, Doom-Is-Nigh streetcorner prophets who are emotionally invested in the idea of collapse, for whom the idea of collapse would often justify some pillar of their politics. If, after all, the US is a failed state about to be toppled by its own decadence, this would justify their inordinate degree of contempt for the US.

On another recent post someone phrased claims like this as often being more about "what would be necessary for someone's politics to be justified," and I think that's an important part of it! In fact I think "affective claims about the world being distorted into factual claims about the world bc they are what would be necessary to justify someone's politics" is a fully general phenomenon, regardless of political orientation. There are much milder forms of it than out-and-out doomerism, though of course the absurdity of doomerist claims to this degree make it really hard to take someone's claims about the state of the world seriously.

About the specific claims here:

Re: China: China has experienced terrific growth since the end of WW2, and that's great! A country of over a billion people should by any reasonable metric be one of the largest economies on Earth, and China is, it seems, taking its inevitable place internationally as an economic powerhouse. It's a big country with a ton of people, and it's terrific that it has been able to lift so many people out of the grinding poverty that prevailed throughout much of the country in the 20th century. But like a lot of middle-income countries it seems to be having a ton of trouble, for significant institutional reasons, transitioning from an industrialization-focused economy to one driven by consumer demand and consumer spending. AIUI (and I am so, so far from an expert; mostly I just read what folks like @argumate post from other sources), China has a lot of debt dragging down its economy, and weak consumer demand. China is still much poorer than the United States on a per capita basis, and though it has a large military, is much less capable of projecting its power beyond its borders. It has aspired to increase its economic and diplomatic influence through the Belt and Road initiative, but returns on this project have been decidedly mixed, and China's military and strategic focus remains decidedly confined to its neighborhood. It wants to absorb Taiwan and protect its interests in the South China Sea, and prop up North Korea and such, but it's not able to or interested in, like, fielding large carrier groups that routinely sail up and down the world's oceans or conduct invasions of distant countries like the U.S. is able to. N.B., I'm not saying those invasions are good, just that the U.S. can historically, if it wants, invade and occupy basically any small-to-medium sized country on the planet in a few weeks, and that's not the kind of capability China has, or--AFAICT--is interested in developing.

The British Empire comparison is also, I think, very misleading, and gets at something I find frustrating about a lot of modern Marxists: they want to fit everything into the model of 19th century capitalist imperialism, when the modern global system doesn't look too much like that anymore. Mostly countries like the United States, if they have economic interests in a country, don't invade and reduce the country to a status of colony to extract raw resources from. The Cold War supported a fair bit of regime change in the service of commercial interests, even in the aftermath of post-WW2 decolonization, but nowadays the tools used to develop and enforce the international order preferred by the Status Quo Coalition (which is led, but not commanded by the United States) are much more indirect. They don't involve directly administering colonies, which is significant because colonialism is, for the states that run it, expensive as hell. Sure, it's great for commercial interests--but it's often more a drain on state finances than anything else. I have come around to the view that colonialism was as much an expression of wealth as it was a means to acquire more. Britain was always a small-but-wealthy island country whose empire was much, much larger than its metropole. The vast majority of the population and wealth controlled by the United States is within the fifty states which comprise the core territory of the United States. This isn't Britain with a far-flung overseas empire which is expensive to administer and a minority of Britons on the island itself--this is a country whose wealth and industry is built on a population of 350 million or so which identifies as American first, which speaks English and votes for President and congress. Most of the United States' actual imperial possessions are tiny archipelagoes these days that are economically marginal, or else military bases overseas--these do not generate American wealth and power, they are expressions of it. For the United States to collapse like the British Empire did, it would have to lose control of California and Texas and the Midwest or something like that--which is a goofy-ass fantasy, because if the United States federal government disappeared tomorrow, I think the vast majority of the 350 million or so people living in the present borders of the United States would support re-establishing the United States federal government. Americans like and support the country they live in! This is very different from the subjects of the British Raj, or even the people of Australia and Canada, who had begun to develop their own identity (and thanks to distance from the metropole, completely divergent economic and political interests).

"The U.S. is an empire analogous Britain" is only true if you squint from very far away and don't care about the specifics of history, economics, or politics. But I think again the way to understand this claim is partly affective. If the U.S. really is the second incarnation of the British Empire, then you can cast a lot of disparate conflicts that otherwise don't fit the mold under the aegis of a broad anti-colonial struggle. It also facilitates a certain sort of base campism that some people love to indulge in--the NATO-is-always-evil-so-anything-NATO-doesn't-like-is-good angle, which has a lot of self-described leftists backing in to saying that Putin's Russia is somehow an antifascist or anticolonial force for good in the world.

"The U.S. military is failing" is pure cope. There's no country or active coalition of countries that's even remotely close to the U.S. military in capabilities. Though there is always going to be a stream of waste and corruption and medium-sized bureaucratic fuckups streaming out of the U.S. military, it remains without peer simply by virtue of one of the largest economies on the planet being willing to spend like 4% of its GDP on military stuff. The EU or China might in some counterfactual world be able to field a similar military if they spent a comparable amount, and had similar strategic aims, but they won't and they don't, so unless U.S. foreign policy drastically changes and military spending is slashed as a result, I don't see that changing at any time in the near future.

[signanothername]

I just got the idea of like, Killer's SOUL being able to hypnotize, if only briefly- idk I thought you'd enjoy this idea

Oooh I absolutely do enjoy this idea omg

And I can actually see it happening ngl, the way his soul seems to gently and continuously move, I can see it happening on stage 2 specifically but never any other stage, cause his soul moves too aggressively on stages 3 and 4 and is almost completely still on stage 1 (and I like to think any movement it has on stage one resembles the beat of a heart)

Stage 2 tho? His soul moves in a gentle slow circular motion, and I feel like if someone does look at at for a bit, it would cause them to completely lose their sense of reality around them

There’s this one comic, in which Swap Chara, immediately noticed and felt Killer’s soul, and was even in pain cause of it, this is obviously cause they’re Chara, different universe or not, that bond will always be there, but what I find most fun about it, is the fact Chara felt the intent, felt the danger from Killer way before meeting him in person, without even realizing that this is Killer’s soul at first until they felt it, not only that, but how they say it, “his soul. His mind.” They felt his mind, *shakes you*, they felt his mind

Not only that, but the panel with his soul’s light, lighting up his chest, it feels like an aura of its own of sorts, and it makes sense for his soul to have an aura, even for a small range

And it makes me wonder if people hypnotized by his soul would feel the danger and intent too, would know they’re in danger but can’t do anything to prevent it

Also can you imagine whoever gets hypnotized maybe could end up hearing and listening to what Killer hears on a daily basis? The laughter, the comments, the endless overlapping voices, not that Killer is aware of them getting a glimpse into his mind (otherwise he’d make sure they never get hypnotized shgdgd)

it’d be really fun if it’s unintentional even, and only happens for a few minutes tops, it’s just happens and Killer picks up on it after a few times, on how in certain circumstances his soul can hypnotize people briefly, and Killer takes advantage of it, says some creepy shit about how they should just focus on his voice and let themselves go

Like I can see Killer brushing it off the first time it happens, he notices, he’s intrigued, but the person snaps back to reality before Killer is sure, and Killer just brushes it off as his mind making things up, then it happens again, and a third time, and so he’s sure now, and he just takes advantage of it, especially when he needs info

He might even trick someone into observing his soul when he wants to hypnotize them, hold it gently and talk about it, show it to them, etc (even when I think that Killer usually would rather no one focuses on his soul much)

Not that he needs to most of the time, as people who never met him before would immediately take notice of it, cause not everyone has their soul out in the open like that, but people who already know him might not look at his soul cause they already know of it, it’s not news to them, so Killer takes steps to make them fall into hypnosis

I like to think that if this is truly the case, it only works on certain people than others, not everyone gets hypnotized, not necessarily because they’re immune, but because either the person feels themselves getting hypnotized way before they actually do and so they opt to not look at Killer’s soul directly, or maybe they are truly immune for whatever reason, either way, really fun :)

[majoryeager104]

First Bungou Stray Dogs Post! Headcannons!!

yippeeee I’ve loved BSD for a while but I’ve been obsessing sm lately for no reason sooo here’s some relationship hc’s for my faves bc why not

idk why this ended up looking so chaotic but oh well

INCLUDES: Dazai, Chuuya, Ranpo, and Jouno

Dazai 🎀🎀🎀

cuteness aggression?

he has a severe case.

be careful cos if he sees you and you get too close he won’t let go.

Most likely a biter too

Like, as a warning, if you’re cuddling and you look to cute to him Hes gonna bite you

‘bc your so sweet 🥹’

he probably doesn’t actually ask you to commit double suicide with him

like, I think he’d joke about it, but really doesn’t expect you to say yes

more like he doesn’t want you to tbh

sweetie pie bitch.

Chuuya 🧑‍🦰🍷📏

you’re the only person who’s allowed to make jokes about his height

And ‘allowed’ is a strong word

like, he won’t kick you into next month

but he’ll be grumpy about it ☹️

but I know you probably wouldn’t do that to him

right…? Ahem anyways-

He’d be a sweet af boyfriend (a basic hc but that’s because it’s TRUE)

like he’d do more than buy you things and cuddle i actually think he’d be such a reassuring person to be around

Knows when you’re sad or self conscious and somehow manages to tell you eXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED TO HEAR.

for someone who doesn’t feel human he’s sure better at being one that everyone else 🤷‍♀️

Ranpo ☝️🤓

bros annoying af

but he’s adorable so you have to let it slide.

if you’re wondering how you got together

After joining the ADA you bought him his favorite candy without realizing it was his favorite

and he was so touched by your absentminded care that he immediately deduced w that big ass brain of his that he wanted you under his arm

arm candy.

bc ur hot af

brags about you too much

to an extent that Fukuzawa had to LECTURE HIM THAT HE WAS BEING ANNOYING.

Didn’t work tho he still yaps about u to everyone he sees

Jouno 🧑‍🦯🦊

He cannot see you

That is a given.

still calls you pretty tho 😭😭😭

he’d either be a really sweet boyfriend or a really toxic one

but I think if he gets attached to someone enough to date them

he’d Definitely treat them right

bc if he’s attached he’d be scared you’d leave so ultimate princess treatment girl or boy

Bc of his hearing, he gets really sensitive to loud sounds, so dates in public might not be the best for him

that’s okay tho bc staying in and cuddling is absolutely fine by him

he likes laying his head on your chest and listening to your heartbeat 😭😭😭

Immediately failed on spelling lmao

[xskyll]

Quirkless Deku AU in which, after All Might tells Izuku he can't be a hero, Izuku takes the words to heart and decides to completely cut heroics out of his life, so he isn't reminded of his failed dream. He doesn't have any social media and doesn't read news articles about heroes. If a hero is mentioned on tv, he turns it off. He buys the same, non-sponsored groceries all the time, and he forks out the extra money to go ad-free on things like YouTube, so he never sees them in commercials. We know he's a thorough person, and he applies those skills, avoiding heroes to an impressive extent and just focusing on whatever new career path he set his eyes on (Maybe botany? But this isn't just like, basic flower shop AU. He's super smart, so my boy is probably breeding award-winning new species of orchids or some shit.)

As such, he ends up being probably the only person in Japan who has never heard of Todoroki Shouto.

They have some sort of meet-cute, and at first, Shouto can't figure out why this guy is pretending not to know who he is (is he trying to be polite, pretending Shouto is normal??), but eventually he realizes Izuku legitimately has no clue who he is, and Shouto is soooo enamoured, because Izuku is so nice and seems genuinely interested in him, and for the first time, Shouto knows it's all sincere and not someone trying to get close to him because he's famous. He becomes desperate to keep his profession a secret, leading to some comically close calls. But the longer it goes, the harder he falls, and Momo keeps insisting he has to tell Izuku the truth because he can't enter a serious relationship with this huge lie between them. But just when he's about to fess up, something happens that makes it clear to him that Izuku isn't just out of touch with popular culture, he is /actively/ avoiding heroes and dislikes hearing about them, which makes Shouto think he'll stop talking to him, and he doesn't know what to do, and now Jirou is helping Momo scold him, and he's so stressed.

Of course, the boys don't realize they know someone in common. Bakugou somehow lets the cat out of the bag, not knowing Shouto was keeping his heroics a secret. (Back to botany...maybe instead of orchids, Izu specializes in poisonous plants? And a new poison is involved in some sort of crime, and the police want him on as a consult, and Bakugou ends up involved on the heroics end of things, leading to a reunion with Izuku who he hasn't seen since middle school. Somehow Shouto comes up in conversation while they're working on the case.)

And then it all goes to shit, Idk what happens next. Izuku is more upset about being lied to than Shouto being a hero, and Shouto has to prove he wasn't just messing around. I feel like there's a scene in there where Izuku cries on his mom's lap, and Shouto gets an earful from her. They make up, of course, and start dating. Since this is one of my ideas, they probably get married in the epilogue.

[mythicmanuscripts]

Hi! I love your blog so much. I'm literally obsessed! I've wanted sub aemond content for so long and your account is like an oasis in the desert.

I was thinking about aemond and how for so long he felt unwanted and unloved, like he didn't have a place among his family. Because of this I think he'd really like reader telling him "Your mine", even more so than being told "im yours". Not in a aggressive or possessive way (although I do think he'd like reader being protective of him) but in the sense that someone loves him so much that they would openly claim him as theirs. That they aren't ashamed of him or for others to know he's all theirs.

I also think it provides him some sense of security. Like he feels so safe knowing he belongs to you so he doesn't have to worry about anyone else.

Idk if this makes sense, hopefully it does😭I just can't stop thinking about this, I've had it on my mind for a while now.

Oh my god I love this!!! This is so perfect everything you wrote here is incredible.

There’s nothing explicit in my answer but it is very clearly sub!Aemond and has some suggestive tones so I’ll hide it under the cut just in case :))

So I think Aemond really struggles with the idea of being anyone’s first choice? He grew up as a second son, always teased and mocked and never taken seriously. He didn’t expect you to be any different.

The first thing you do that really shows Aemond how much you care for him is just how loyal you are? I’m thinking of a situation where you and your family are at the red keep to look for a husband for you, and obviously your family are trying their hardest to secure an betrothal from Aegon because he’s king.

But then Aemond catches your eye? You end up having a very simple conversations with him, and you know pretty much instantly that he’s the one you want. Aemond wants you too of course. He hasn’t felt this accepted in his life and he absolutely loves talking with you. You and him sit together at the far end of the table every dinner, taking amongst yourselves and Aemond doesn’t even acknowledge anyone else. He takes every scrap of your attention that he can, especially because he’s so certain that your parents are angling for Aegon and that once the betrothal is announced he won’t be able to spend time with you like this again.

You put a spanner in the works. After a few weeks at the red keep you tell your family in no uncertain terms that you want Aemond and Aemond only. Your family is hesitant, both because Aemond is the second son and because Aemond is known to be violent and cold.

But you insist.

When your parents go to Aemond to tell him that you have expressed your desire to marry him instead of Aegon, the poor lad just about feints. He says he would be honoured of course, and then the moment they leave he’s sprinting across the castle to your quarters.

You’re confused to see him knocking on your door. You know you shouldn’t open the door because people might see and rumours may start but you couldn’t care less. He is here, so you will let him in.

At first you actually think he looks upset? When you ask what’s going on he just softly asks, “Do you really want me? Did you mean it when you told your parents I was your first choice?”

You don’t even get to finish the word “yes” before he’s barrelling forwards and pulling you into a tight hug. He buries his head in your shoulder and clings to you. He’s so overwhelmed to hear that someone actually chooses him, never mind it being someone he already wishes he could marry.

You hug him back of course, and then when you try to pull away he just grips you tighter. It's like he's afraid if he lets go of you that you'll disappear. You end up having to just rub his back and whisper that you mean it, that you aren't going anywhere.

Aemond truly doesn’t even know what to do with himself when you tell him that you never even considered Aegon, from the moment you saw him no one else came close.

This is definitely where the possessiveness comes in, because there’d be a period between expressing this and actually having the betrothal ironed out and announced.

Until then, all the other male suiters try to get your attention and win your love and it drives Aemond absolutely insane. You actually have to watch him very closely or else he will lure a suitor into the gardens and kill them. He’s threatens to plenty of times.

A big part of this possessive comes from the fact that he honestly is just waiting for the other shoe to drop? He’s so certain that one day you'll wake up and realise what a terrible decision you've made and beg for the betrothal to be canceled.

So every time you talk to another man, he's so so convinced you'll prefer them and tell him that you don't want him anymore. Which is why he absolutely hates seeing you with other people because he thinks every time he's losing his chance.

And so every time you walk back to him and tell him that you can't wait for your parents to officially announce the betrothal he nearly starts crying. He's watching you choose him over and over again and he truly cannot believe it.

As much as he's very traditional and respectful, I think he kinda just falls apart when faced with the fact that you genuinely want him? He tell himself he'll do this the right way, the way that's expected of him but he can't control himself when he's faced with the reality that you actually genuinely want him.

I don't think you two would be able to wait until marriage for that exact reason. He cannot stand the thought of another even considering being with you and honestly he can't even sleep thinking about it.

He ends up knocking on your door most nights and spending hours with you. He can't get enough of you, and he especially can't get enough of hearing you say you love him and want him. How could he ever be expected to spend the night alone knowing that a few floors down there's a woman he absolutely adores who will open her door and let him cuddle her and hear about her day?

He cannot be expected to spend the nights alone and to watch you speak to others and to wait patiently until the betrothal is announced. He never expected to find someone who makes him feel loved and safe and now that he has found you he will never ever let you go.

[eevees-hobbies]

um um um Eve I had a bad day today and I was wondering if you could (please feel free to ignore me if you’re not interested or I’m annoying!!) write something about some of the windbre boys showing off their chubby gf 👉🏼👈🏼 they can get smutty or stay wholesome, whichever is easier for you. Maybe ume, togame, sakura, endo, and hiragi? Idk if that’s too many people. I hope you’re having a great day!!

Author’s Note: Hi, Anon! I’m sorry to hear you had a bad day,and even though I’m fulfilling this request a few days late (sorry!) I hope that the little piece below makes you smile even a little bit. I’m a thick girl myself, so I love when writers talk about readers' curves, rolls, cellulite, big asses, BREASTS, BIG THIGHS (oh my). Also, please don’t say you’re annoying because you aren’t and never could be, babe 💕. Sorry for not writing for Endo yet (I still haven’t gotten to him in the manga!). I enjoyed writing this. Sakura, please marry me!

Content Warning: Made with fem! reader in mind :) Reader x Haruka Sakura, Reader x Hajime Umemiya, Reader x Toma Hiragi. It's fluffy, except Hiragi does try to sneak something inappropriate in there. Also, tw: for body insecurities.

Word Count: 892 (it’s not about size, it’s what you do with it!)

Dividers by Saradika

Haruka Sakura

Quite frankly, Sakura is tired of your bullshit tonight. You’ve been acting out of the ordinary, hiding behind him, avoiding eye contact with others, and talking barely above a whisper.

“What is wrong with you?” His dual-colored eyes search yours for any indication of what might be your problem. 

“You haven’t given me shit all night, and it’s startin’ to make me nervous!”

You briefly let out a small laugh, but it’s so barely detectable that Sakura can’t savor the sound. 

You open your mouth but avert your eyes from him. “I…I’m being dumb, but I don’t like the way this dress feels on me. I shouldn’t have worn it, and now people are s-staring at me…”

Sakura looks around at the packed bar. Sure, he notices glances, but he knows what it’s like to be looked at as though you’re shit on the bottom of someone’s shoe, and that’s not what he’s seeing. He leans closer to you, his face so close that you can see the individual hairs of his eyelashes.

“Look at me. Everyone’s looking at you because you’re fucking gorgeous, and if someone did have anything to say about your dress,” he pauses, “my new favorite dress, I’ll kick their fucking asses!”

You look up at Sakura in pure adoration, love, and devotion—feeling the insecurity wash away as he looks down at you as though you are the only person in the entire world that matters–and to Haruka Sakura, that’s the case.

“The man that you are, Haruka.” 

Hajime Umemiya

You stand nervously in the bathroom of Cafe Pothos as you splash cool water on your face. You feel on the verge of passing out as anxiety grips your throat and chest, making it hard to breathe.

Quick but soft knocks at the door break you out of your panic attack, and Umemiya’s soothing voice reaches you, “Y/N, my friends are here. Are you ok, babe?”

You are not ok.

You’ve been dating Umemiya for months, and everything had been perfect until he planned a meet-n-greet with his friends. Residual insecurity from partners who were cruel after their friends disapproved of you and what you looked like set you into a spiral that you couldn’t break out of.

But it’s now or never.

You pull open the door and give him your best attempt at a smile for someone who was just having a panic attack in a public restroom.

Umemiya knows exactly what’s going through your mind without you having to say it, and despite his constant praise of you, he understands that sometimes actions are far more effective.

He grabs you by the hand and pulls you into the central area of the cafe, where all of his friends sit. You want to crawl into yourself as all eyes are on you, but before you shut down, Umemiya speaks first.

“Guys! This is my girlfriend, Y/N. Please don’t embarrass me in front of her; she thinks I’m cool.” 

Hiragi offers a kind smile, “Well, she’s going to be disappointed because there’s not a cool bone in your body. Nice to me ya, Y/N. He talks about you all the time.”

Your eyes get wide as you look up at a blushing Umemiya. 

“Really?”

Someone you recognize as Tsubakino chimes in, “All the time, and who can blame him when you’re so cute?”

“Hey, guys, leave the complimenting my girl to me, please. Not trying to have you steal her.”

You feel Umemiya’s hand squeeze yours, and your shoulders relax as you wonder what you were worrying about to begin with.

Toma Hiragi 

Hiragi sighs heavily as he listens to the continuous chatter of Umemiya who is giving a long-winded update on the state of horticulture efforts across North America. It’s a random topic, but Umemiya is in hyperfixation mode, and there’s no stopping him once he gets started.

You’re sitting with them, trying not to let your mind wander in case there’s a pop-quiz on the subject.

Hiragi looks at you and rolls his eyes with a smile; you manage a barely silent giggle in return.

Twenty minutes pass, and the torture ends; as Umemiya squeezes out of the booth and you stand up to allow him to pass, Hiragi follows suit, placing a hand on your stomach and giving the soft flesh a gentle squeeze almost on instinct.

Your face heats up because surely Umemiya saw that, but if he did, he says nothing as he waves goodbye to you both.

You quickly turn to Hiragi once Ume is out of sight, “Toma! Why’d you do that!?”

His brows furrow in confusion at your sudden outburst, “do what?”

“You grabbed my stomach in front of Ume and it was NOT an innocent grab!”

“There you go, being a pain in my ass again. What are you talking about? Ume knows you’re curvy, everyone knows, and I’ll be damned if I let you police my squeezing of you in public.”

“You are an undeniable pervert that should be on a list with other perverts!”

He shakes his head and pulls out his gas-kun10. For someone that he loves beyond a shadow of a doubt, you still somehow manage to stimulate the wrath of his poor digestive system.

“You owe me for that smart-ass remark, girl. You can sit on my-”

“TOMA!”

[im-a-vertebrate]

Remembered a post I saw about how stupid Porter was for not realising how useful Adaine would have been with all her pent up rage if she had been rage starred.

It is highly likely someone has already considered/written about this, but imagine:

Porter realises what an asset Adaine would be after hearing about her killing her father. As a result, he arranges something, perhaps a trap set at a meet-up with Oisin as a honeypot, maybe a fake meeting with Prof. Runestaff, or even a private chat where Porter expresses his admiration for Adaine killing her father to lure her in so he can strike. In any case, the shatterstar finds its new home in Adaine's chest.

In this timeline, Oisin has outlived his usefulness, and his body rots in the woods alongside Lucy’s. His friends mourn him, but they would never mess with the Big Guy.

So the Bad Kids gradually watch Adaine become more angry and more violent after Spring Break, which they hypothesise might be related to her parents but they’re not sure. Adaine's not usually so rageful, and they don't want to hurt her. They ask Aelwyn, but she doesn't know either. Aelwyn tries to talk to Adaine, who completely goes off on one at her. Aelwyn is shocked and hurt, especially after so long in prison, after being subject to endless torture. Her sister who saved her is screaming at her and Aelwyn hates it.

The worst thing is how much she is reminded of their mother when she looks at Adaine.

They go to Jawbone for help, but by then Adaine is gone.

She goes back to Sylvaire to kill her mother, fuelled by the power of rage, but Porter stops her and gives her a personal rundown on how exactly the hierarchy of their conspiracy operates. After he’s finished, he heals her with some of his ‘barbarian healing’, the Rat Grinders welcome their new party member Adaine Abernant.

She completely blanks the Bad Kids. The entire school has no idea what's going on. Ayda tries to talk to Adaine, but she lashes out and Ayda flees back to Compass Points to desperately read every book she can in the Friendship Section and stockpile oranges. Jawbone's attempts to reach out to Adaine are met with nothing but anger.

Boggy is not resummoned. The Jacket of Useful Things ends up in a rubbish bin in downtown Elmville.

The Night Yorb escapes and the Bad Kids (or most of them) are forced to rush off again to save the world, leaving Adaine behind.

The rest of the Rat Grinders are terrified of their new party member. She's brutal and angry, so much more than them. They miss their nerdy dragonborn wizard and their kindly genasi cleric. Their new 'friend' clearly isn't there out of the kindness of her heart. They can see hate in her eyes aimed at something. Someone.

The Rat Grinders get a new assignment over Summer too.

In the middle of the Wastes, as they're tracking down the Night Yorb without their wizard, the Bad Kids suddenly hear the news: Sylvaire is burning.

Adaine is tearing apart Sylvaire with every ounce of magic at her disposal. She is annihilating vast swathes of forest, razing the ground itself, drawing on the great reserves of power provided by Ankarna's tormented semi-corpse. The Oracle sends her adventuring party and any bystanders that she can bend to her will out into the forest to find Arianwen Abernant and bring the woman, alive, to her. Cassandra's home is on fire, she needs help. She summons the Bad Kids, Aelwyn, anyone or anything she can find to help her, to save her. To stop Adaine. But desperate times call for desperate measures.

The Nightmare King and the Oracle of Rage battle over the Forest of Sylvaire as it burns.

Idk, thought this might be a fun idea.

[cripplecharacters]

hey! I recently realized that one of my stories has a serious lack of physically disabled characters (one secondary character has a facial difference) and I'd love advice on what physical differences and disabilities are in more intense need of representation. I know one of my characters is going to be missing a limb, but idk whether they should be an amputee or just born that way, and what limb/ where it should be missing/if it should be underdeveloped or just totally gone. I want to know what type of limb differences are most underrepresented so I can do some research and see if I could feasibly add it to my character. I'd also like to hear some other general physical disorders and disabilities that need more rep (all physical differences need more rep but yk what I mean)

Most if not all of my characters are autistic/adhd or both, although it isn't mentioned (they're just like that because I as a person can't write neurotypical people)

Hello!

As mod Rot has said before, every disability is currently underrepresented (and those that are represented the most are still usually portrayed extremely poorly, a lot of rep≠good rep). With that said there are some that are even less represented than others.

For a missing limb specifically it might seem like it's "overrepresented" (only using this term in comparison, not in general), but in reality there's a ton of limb differences that I have absolutely never seen represented in any way, shape, or form. There's simply way more options than creatives ever consider.

The most common cause of acquired amputation is actually not represented much at all - diabetes. Almost all amputations in media are traumatic, but that's not necessarily how it is.

In most cases, the smaller the amputation the more common it is. A lot of characters in media have a shoulder amputation (with a prosthetic... of course), but that's probably the rarest possible one in real life. It's also worth mentioning that the fewer joints you have, the harder it is to use a prosthetic. A knee can change everything.

If they're missing a leg, consider giving them a mobility aid - connecting to the previous point, the higher someone's amputation is the higher the chance they will use them over a prosthetic, but anyone can use them.

Or, they can use both a prosthetic and a wheelchair/crutches at different times. Or they can use prosthetics with mobility aids, like a cane, crutches, or a rollator to help with balance.

Losing a leg is also incredibly more common than an arm, but in media it's the other way around for some reason.

Congenital limb difference of the not-full-amputation variety isn't seen much either, and it has more types than I could possibly list here, but I'll try; phocomelia, symbrachydactyly, micromelia, radial aplasia, ectrodactyly, tetraamelia, polysyndactyly... The only character that I know of with any of these has been made by my friend.

To go with the above, think about syndromes that cause limb differences. Some examples could be Ellis–Van Creveld syndrome, Otopalatodigital syndrome spectrum disorders, Pfeiffer syndrome, Joubert syndrome, or the VACTERL association. Or a thousand other things.

Limb loss due to cancer is a thing. It also relates to a very specific kind of amputation, called rotationplasty, and it's when a person has their knee replaced with their ankle, and their foot is well, rotated. That's how important having a joint is.

Also I know that you said limb and not limbs, but remember that multiple amputations are a thing as well. For example bilateral above knee (often called BAKA), or quadruple amputation are greatly underrepresented.

As for non-limb loss underrepresented physical disability ideas, well, all of them, but just for the sake of some new ideas I will try to list ones that AFAIK haven't even been mentioned on the blog at all before (at least as of writing this).

CHARGE syndrome

Hyperthyroidism

Hypohidrotic ectodermal dysplasia

Hereditary trochlear nerve palsy

Harlequin-type Ichthyosis

Locked-in syndrome

Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease

Primordial dwarfism

Addison's disease

Duchenne muscular dystrophy

Apert syndrome

Charcot Marie Tooth disease

Usher syndrome

Nager syndrome (also, causes limb differences)

Peripheral Artery Disease

[links lead to very basic information pages]

These are just some ideas for disabilities that are 1) physical and 2) very underrepresented, some visible, some not - I hope it gives you some ideas for what to research for your character(s). I tried to list both very common and rare ones.

You can also take a look at our #disabled character ideas tag, or posts like this (there's a lot of facial differences listed, mostly at the end).

I hope this helps,

mod Sasza

[koolades-world]

Hihihihi, in case ya remember me, im the Pain-sensitive anon, and in case i will request again remember me as BigS, because my requests are as big as my S, but enough about that.

Poor you, so many requests. Drink water, be stronger that those 637181 requests, don't let them kill you!!!

But im here to torture you with another one~

So i have an album with 3814 Asmodeus screenshots(I FKIN LOVE MY BOYFRIEND!!!), and i had an idea "dam, if Asmo became real, it would be very hard to explain why i have 4k pics with him... " So here is request!

Brothers, finding out that MC's new hyperfixation is... them?

Apparently MC is neurodivergent or something like that, and as many neurodivergent ppl, they have a hyperfixation! They just randomly becoming very interested in something specific and collect stuff with it, talk with everyone about it, and remember every single detail about it! Like Levi with TSL.

But one day, brothers realise that MC stopped talking about their past fixation and was less interested with it. They think that "Oh, they probably just found something new!". But one day, they take MC's phone just to find that... They have a giant album in their gallery that is dedicated only to him????

The album has every photo he posted on Devilgram, every photo that he send MC, some unique photos that MC shooted themselves, even some chat screenshots with times when he said something cute to them! They even was photographing thigs that "reminds of him". Like some cheeseburger with "Beel vibes", Blue flower that "Looks like Luci" or gorgeous mannequin that "feels like Asmo".

If its someone like Asmo, he would also notice thta MC started buying their fanclub's merch! Like "Asmo lover #1" shirt or "Lucifer best man!!"cup(Luci is very popular, he probably also has some fanclubs! i hate this guy tho)

I think Levi and Mammon would die from embarrassment. Asmo would die out of happiness and Satan with Luci will try to pretend like thay never saw that. and idk about other ones. :P

I think that would make a cute fluff and a very scary situation if it was real uwu

Thats all

Have a nice dayyyyyyyyyyyy~~~

-BigS aka.AlgophobicDude

hey! great to hear from you again :)

haha thank you! been slowly knocking out requests one at a time and let me tell you it's a lot more fun than it might look haha

i wrote this while wearing a pink cowboy hat. i just wanted to share that

you got it! enjoy!!

Mc with a hyperfixation on the brothers

Lucifer

is this a human thing?

he's happy to indulge you as long as you're not too loud about it out in public

especially please don't share those pictures with anyone, like mammon. he will sell those, especially the ones he only intends for you. please

he's happy you don't hate him, actually. you make this old man very happy haha

Mammon

he would never tell you, but he's also got a photo album dedicated to you

also has a note on his D.D.D. full of all the things he never said to you but hopes to be brave enough to one day to tell you

he doesn't tell you he's got that though, not in a million years

he really loves that you're hyperfixated on him because that just means you care about him just as much as he cares about you

Levi

as expected, he's very flustered

he knows what it's like to have a little blorbo and he would give anything to be able to see them daily in person and live with them

he's over the moon once he realizes this and despite his embarrassment, he pushed through to spend more time with you

he's so dedicated <3

Satan

he's probably the most puzzled

he's always learning new things about humans even when he thought he knew everything

he knows and trusts you so from time to time, he'll take a picture with you in mind that he knows will remind you of him

all in all, he does think it's a little strange but won't stop you since he's never seen you happier

Asmo

like they said, you're literally about to become the number one member of his fanclub!

lucky for you, once he finds your asmo photo album, he's feeding into your hyperfixation

you get lots of exclusive privileges, such as early morning selfies and all his merch for free, including prototypes

he's always ready to pose for a picture for you. every side is his good side!

Beel

he's a little confused but he's happy to make you happy

he listened to you talk about your hyperfixations the most beside levi so he's quick to pick up on this shift

to make you happy, he decides to make a handmade adult bib just for you haha and at first he's a little sad but then he finds it while digging for your snack stash

you've never worn it once because it's hanging in your closet next to your fancy outfits <3

Belphie

you what? is his initial reaction

from the outside, it seems like it doesn't bother him or that he could care less

but, on the inside, he's elated since he thought after how he tricked you, you'd never want to be close to him again

now, you're the very thing that makes you excited to wake up every morning by his side

[zhxngii]

Alhaitham & Blade having a crush on you

❏ ( notes ) ; This is my gift for @yanqingisim for the Secret Santa event by @solarisfortuneia, I hope you enjoy it &lt;3 ❏ ( contents ) ; PURE FLUFF! might be a bit of angst idk (surprise surprise.) , i tried to write these two tropes and I hope I did them well... sdjkhklasdme.

As Alhaitham's study buddy/research partner, he has a small (big) crush on you but doesn't know how you feel about him so he resorts to hiding his feelings.

How did he fall for you?

All it took was you truly being yourself around him. Usually, when he finishes a project with someone, he'd often hear them complain about how awkward it might've been or something along the lines of how frustrating his personality was... not that he cared though because in the end the project's done and he won't likely see them much.

You on the other hand... were a different case. He took note of how you tried to understand his side of things, not only yours, and how you tried your best to work with him despite how difficult or tiring it might've been. One thing he noticed was how determined you were with your research, and he found that attractive about you.

There used to be a point where he preferred to be alone but... you slowly became an exception as you two partnered up more.

What he does differently that gets your attention.

Alhaitham would eventually become aware of his feelings towards you, but isn't sure how you feel about him, so he'll keep it hidden away and to himself. Though, there will be a time he can't possibly just hide it anymore so what does he do?

He'll often start doing small things such as bringing his and your favorite snacks when you both take a break from all the work you've done so far. You wonder how he knew exactly what you liked and wanted at the moment at he just simply brushes it off by saying he just guessed... when really he took mental note of what you'd bring with you whenever you were with him.

Whenever you happened to catch him during his break, he puts his book down. Doesn't seem like such a big deal but... with anyone else, he wouldn't do as much as to spare a glance at them. He'd keep his eyes glued to the page he was on, not showing any bit of interest in the conversation that started with him since he wanted to be left alone already. But with you? The book can wait. You could've sworn that his eyes almost sparkle in a way whenever he looks up to see you.

Something cute he does.

Whenever you'd tell him a joke, he'll blush when you giggle at him. You find it adorable how when he doesn't get a joke, he'll often take it seriously and give such a long, textbook-based explanation. Once you explain to him, a look of embarrassment comes to his face but he'll laugh along with you at his own seriousness.

Blade's partner but the problem is that you two don't necessarily get along, he ends up developing a small crush on you, or rather a partnership as he would say in the long run.

How does he fall for you?

Blade wasn't very fond of you, the second he saw you he just didn't want you getting in his way of work. It didn't help how you two were often paired up with each other, on every mission no matter big or small, you two somehow were always stuck together.

He was always quite hard on you as your superior and he knew just how much you disliked him for how he treats you but the second you get injured... he gets worried sick. He knew you were strong on your own but knowing your clumsiness, he had to keep a close eye on you.

He's never once felt such the need to protect someone before, he thought it was just the way of a superior looking after the junior but... boy was he wrong. Soon it became more than just that kind of relationship between you two.

What he does differently that gets your attention.

He tends your injuries himself. Usually, he'd let someone else handle it, but he'd just do it himself as he wanted you to rest and be in bed as soon as possible. You didn't know how good he was at this kind of thing until that day.

He often holds your hand, leading your around with his hands tight around yours and the hilt of his sword. His excuse is that he wants to make sure you stay close to him and don't get lost, but in reality, he just wants to feel your hand in his. He'll give it a nice, firm squeeze from time to time, sometimes holding it longer than he intended.

He gives you small gifts of treats and items so you can take care of yourself when you both complete your tasks. Though he's the one that's literally helping you, he doesn't mind giving you a reward of such from time to time especially when the mission happened to take a toll on the both of you.

Something cute he does.

He becomes softer with you when it comes to winding down and relaxing, he'll take part in the little activities you enjoy even though it may seem totally out of his character but he's willing to enjoy it with you.

He'll even do such things as give you a nice hug, though the hug was mostly so he could enjoy your embrace around him as he relaxes into your arms. He loves the times like this when he can just be comfortable with you and not have to worry about being such a tough guy.

[sundrop-writes]

hiya! Might be a bit broad of a request but could I get headcanons with jj x autistic female reader ?

Broad in the sense if I could get hcs of her reacting to reader with autism, how she helps reader with overstimulation and struggling with social cues and noise. If you wanna throw in smut hcs (jj being the dom) i’m also fine with that!

Basically anything with jj and autistic female reader, thanks!

I love this request so much!!! If you want smut/smutty hcs with JJ and autistic reader, definitely feel free to send in a separate request - I will come back for that in another post. For now, I hope you enjoy this!!

Requests are currently - OPEN.

Jennifer Jareau x Fem!Autistic!Reader (Headcanons)

(Warnings: typical CM themes, the reader is described as touch avoidant (with some exceptions); mentions of molestation and murder (related to a case, mentioned in passing); mentions of blood, mentions of someone being shot in the reader's presence. Idk, I don't think there's anything else. Not proofread.)

JJ was raised around everything (neuro)typical, so when she meets you, she doesn't quite get you. Not at first.

You are one of the smartest people on the team - that is why you're there. Your ability to pick up on patterns and bits of detail that others don't see is incredible, and your brain holds mass amounts of obscure information that she could never even dream of knowing.

But you are quirky. More than quirky.

You have difficulty making eye contact, you freak out if someone even motions toward touching you unexpectedly, you have very odd, specific little rituals with your snacks and meals (which JJ does come to find endearing over time) - you go from talking at incredibly fast speeds, blabbering out information to being silent and stoic for long periods of time.

When she finds out that you have autism, she is a bit surprised. She is one of those people who thinks that autism is a disorder related to school aged boys - but you explain to her how it affects your life. How it makes it difficult for you to relate to people, form close friendships, how it's difficult for you to focus on larger 'important' things when smaller details are bothering you.

(It's one of the reasons you're so good at your job - but it also makes it hard to focus on people's words if their shirt is wrinkled and it's distracting you.)

You act cold toward most people on the team, and it's one random day that JJ finally starts to figure you out. A day that you finally warm up to her.

You were helping Morgan escort a suspect out of the police station, to a squad car where he would be driven to jail to be processed. He had confessed to molesting and killing eight boys after being caught with a ninth, and when the father of one of the boys heard the BAU had arrested someone, he came to the police station with a gun.

When the suspect was shot, you were covered in his blood, and in horrible shock from hearing such a loud bang right beside your ear - from feeling the sudden dead weight drop in your arms.

You ran back into the station screaming, and JJ followed her instinct - followed you into the women's washroom, wanting to see if you had been hurt. She was surprised to see you pacing back and forth in front of the sinks, muttering something under your breath.

"L/N." She called out your name, trying to get your attention. "Y/N? Y/N? Hey? Are you hurt?"

You didn't look up, not for a second. But your muttering became louder. And it became more clear what you were saying.

"My pen, my pen, I dropped my pen..."

JJ had no clue why you were so concerned about a pen when you were covered in someone else's blood, your ears likely still ringing from the gunshot - but she knew that you had a pen-clicking habit. It was something that often annoyed Reid and Morgan - but from what she had observed, you did your best work when your thumb was twiddling, clicking the end of your pen insistently. It meant your brain was whirring hard, putting the pieces of the puzzle together.

JJ reached into the breast pocket of her blazer, and took out a pen that clicked on the end.

"Here." She offered it out to you. "You - you can borrow my pen." She said shyly, hoping it would help you calm down.

You extended out a shaking hand, and took the pen, and then began to click it harshly with your thumb. You gripped it so furiously, the skin around your knuckles so tight - but after a moment, you let out a tight breath. And then, for the first time since she had known you - you looked JJ in the eye.

"Thank you." You murmured, your voice ripe with tears.

"Keep the pen." JJ told you, feeling like it was a small consolation if it helped you calm down this much.

You reached up, petting a shaking hand over your face, and pulled back in disgust when you felt the sticky blood.

"Let me help you clean up." JJ said, grabbing some paper towels out of the dispenser and wetting them in the sink.

It was the first time you had ever let her touch you - you clicked the pen the whole time, and from then on, that sound became less of an annoyance and more of a comfort to her.

That was the day she realised one incredibly important thing:

To you, small things matter on such a big scale.

Coffee in your favourite mug instead of a random one she found in the back of the cupboard - that gets a smile out of you. Scones with blueberries instead of raisins - raisins get a shrug at best, blueberries get a giggle and a big 'thank you!'. Organising your files in alphabetical order instead of by date.

You and JJ became close after that day.

She wasn't a profiler, not in training, but she learned to read you like a book.

She knew that you bouncing your knee aggressively meant that you were becoming overstimulated - things in the room too loud, the florescents too bright, the day too overwhelming.

When this happened, she would take you outside for a break - often siting that she herself needed some air and she simply wanted your company. She knew you didn't like to be outwardly babied (who does?), but she also knew that you had a hard time self regulating. You had a hard time deciding when to take yourself out for a break, and if you didn't have one, then you would become irritable, have a hard time focusing, and hardly get any work done.

She also picked up on the fact that you just plain didn't get sarcasm.

Before, she thought you were being cool, or aloof. When someone said something sarcastic and you didn't understand, she thought that you were pretending not to get it in order to snub them or make a joke out of the whole thing.

But during one of your many conversations, you told her that you absolutely didn't understand sarcasm - you didn't get when someone was using a sarcastic tone, and you often took everything people said in its most literal interpretation.

So you and JJ developed a wonderful, silent system - if someone said something and you didn't understand if it was sarcasm right off the bat, you looked to her, and she would nod at you if they were being sarcastic, or shake her head if they were being literal. It was something people on the team picked up on, but nobody said anything about it - they just enjoyed the way you bonded with her, and how your quirky habits were spreading like a delightful little plague.

JJ knew that your life wasn't easy, living with autism, but she always tried to make it a bit easier. Because you were worth it.

Criminal Minds Masterlist

[coffeegnomee]

have you seen the conversation between kab & zam from yesterday yet :? i'd be so curious to hear your take on the whole thing. i like that kab is someone who will have a conversation like that in the first place, and i'm really interested in the potential of her interacting with zam in ways that might force her to confront the assumptions she's made about lifesteal (both in a roleplay-style way and an understanding the people on the server way, but admittedly i mostly want meta-conflict...) so i was kinda delighted by it. and her revealing so much about said assumptions, her own thought processes, her blind spots, in an attempt to reveal very little actual information. bacon's "training" as a little microcosm of how she reacts to problems she can't predict or control. all in all she frustrates me but in a fun way here, i like being frustrated.

I got so invested and stayed up so late taking notes. I'm writing this before watching the rest of Zam's stream and Kab's stream from yesterday, basically just looking at the conversation itself. Because oh boy that was fascinating. What a creature. 

Overall, what I’ve gathered from Kab, is a massive tendency to radically prioritize her own personal experiences with a person (one on one, face to face) over observing them through other people’s eyes and seeing how they act to other people (like through watching streams s4 and 5 or just through yt videos) and especially over what other people’s opinions are of other people. 

So it was super fascinating for her to get so excited about Zam being a wealth of information, because she observed with her own eyes that he understands people. So she now can categorize Zam in this way.  

But idk how much of what Zam said about like Mapicc and Spoke will matter in her future interactions with them, given how she accepted it, but then minutes later would not take correction when she had her own opinions on Bacon that differed from Zam’s observations. 

So like, she only, practically, gained insight on Zam. That is the only flask she is filling rn. 

I saw a bunch of people wonder what Kab exactly learned from that conversation and idk how much any of yall have been keeping up with her streams, but Kab learned A LOT from that conversation. (I might pull everything she learned in a different post. It’s not super relevant here)

Like you don't understand how little she knows about Lifestealers. I know, it’s shocking given we all saw her in chat all of s4 and most of s5.

She went on Bacon’s stream (and her’s ig) a bit ago the day they turned the field purple and said she only followed Eclipse, it was the only arc she actually followed as it came out, and then she kind of stopped paying attention. Which is why she would not realize how wild it was to say “princezam! You could create world peace on lifesteal!” as if she didn’t understand the Joker arc was PrinceZam objecting to pb&j trying to bring world peace to lifesteal. No Clowpierce needed.

And like if she ONLY saw Zam in the Eclipse arc, lowkey she could conclude that he is spineless. She just never saw the shift we’ve been watching since Eclipse.

Now I have another theory, but I might be totally wrong in this, but in a potentially 2% chance universe Kab is playing around with the concept of player knowledge vs character knowledge. Like everything she knew from before Lifesteal is off limits and she can only use knowledge she gains since being in the discord and on the server itself. 

And in this case she would be embracing the purity of rp content to the max. 

In which case she would need Zam to spell out how the Joker arc influenced his pacifism arc or she can’t use that info. 

It is a completely overly charitable concept I think, but nonetheless interesting. I could go into a full on Kenadian joking that Omziscool has dementia arc. But instead of dementia she is secretly incredible at acting. Or I could conclude that it is what it looks like, and Kab simply doesn’t remember anything she learned before Lifesteal/never bothered to pay attention bc she was never going to get on this server anyway.

And anyway, she clearly is using previous knowledge about Clown, Ash, and Squiddo, and she uses OOC knowledge all the time, getting in discord vcs and asking questions about server plans and using that knowledge for herself (mane in her video, red and woogie being teamed in this convo, etc). So I don’t think it can be concluded to be character knowledge vs player. But I find the thought interesting. 

But that brings me back to my point about prioritizing the knowledge she gains through person to person interactions: she only can analyze Clown, Ash and Squiddo so well because she knows them in person so well. 

And she doesn’t have that with literally anyone else on the server. Not even Zam or Red. I can’t remember if she talked to anyone else for any meaningful period of time other than them before joining. But clearly, CAS are only the three she knows well enough to have a good take on their personalities. 

And it is a good take, she does analyze CAS in ways I would approve of. She does genuinely have a good understanding of their motivations and personalities. So she is capable of having good takes.

But as we saw in the convo, it doesn’t yet extend past them. 

So what this means is (rn imo) I think more conversations with Zam will prove extremely interesting, but unfortunately only realistically in terms of her understanding of him and not in her learning and growing in understanding of how lifesteal works and how other members work.

Like I would love to see a Spoke and Kab conversation. I have soo many theories on how Spoke would react. But she would not learn (and therefore agree with Zam's take) that he is the master manipulator until the arc was well past and done. He does nawt spill his secrets at all. Zam spills that. So (imo rn) even if she did have a convo with Spoke, that would give her one-on-one info but she would conclude that he is a bumbling moron who has no motivations and doesn't think past the present moment. Because that’s who he pretends to be. And she takes people for their literal words until they say otherwise.

BUT! Interestingly enough she does learn well. Something I noticed through her pov of the Bacon jumpings is that she was super caught up in how unfair it was and getting pissed off at Bacon because he didn't explain why he was jumping her randomly. Because she needs someone to say word for word why they are doing something in order for her to understand.

And I think we saw this in this convo, the more Zam told her word-for-word his mentality, the more she noted it and she asked follow up questions and clarifying questions and I think noted them down rightly (maybe not tho I haven’t watched yesterday’s stream) 

And earlier, if you watched her/bacon streams that day, that was the first time Bacon said word for word the difference between practicing on pvp legacy and why it differs from fights on lifesteal and why that matters. And so therefore why him jumping her is helpful, not pointless, as she kept saying over and over. And she acquiesced to his analysis. And could only reiterate that she asks he doesn't do it when she’s lagging. 

She didn’t sound like that to Zam in the convo, but that’s bc she was trying to hide that for manipulation purposes. Even if... Whatever. It doesn't matter that it was silly and didn’t do anything meaningful, that was her using manipulation and secrecy. 

Anyway, her main sticking point the first day Bacon jumped her was (9/21 ~1:00:00)  “This feels like the most inefficient way of training though. Cause he didn't tell me what to do he just started attacking me” She wants to be told what to do first so she can internalize it. She doesn't logic out a reason based on input, she needs to be told. 

This is why I think she will ultimately be okay, she just needs a shit load of conversations like this one with Zam. Though we will need to wait and see what she actually learns (like after the season is over), but in the meantime interesting conversations for sure. 

What she will hopefully learn is that Zam freely gives out general server information all the damn time, and is always willing to talk about people’s past seasons mentalities. He loves yapping analysis.

So if she ever tries to go into a conversation withOUT obvious sus and pointed questions like she keeps doing with Zam, maybe she'll lean that she doesn't need them for him. It’s like she’s trying so hard to sound so casual about asking questions but that is just NOT necessary with Zam. He will just tell you shit, that's who he is. 

But, she did pick up on that if she asks too much about Zam’s inner mentality about current arcs he clams right up. (even though, again, if she watched his streams in the past she should understand him.) But that doesn't stop her from pushing to learn

But he is sooo uncomfortable about talking about why he does stuff in the moment. Like Planet had to work so hard s4 to get Zam’s trust and he almost got to know Zam’s wormhole day motivations about making everyone hate him, and in hating him the server members would bond together which was a good thing. But Spoke interrupted and Planet never got to know. It is a workout to get Zam to actually leak his mentality, and his mentality is the only thing he really truly cares about. Everything else is just whatever. 

But she incorrectly thinks that flattery and apology will be the way to get him to open up.

But either way it is great bc Zam, and Bacon too tbh, freely give out advice about other server members and how lifesteal works. Because they understand that it is in everyone’s best interests if they learn how this server does work and how the players think because that can only help smooth things over and get good interactions. She just doesn’t realize how /genuine they are being in that moment and takes it more as them leaking super secret information. When they’re just like, 'please learn, i beg.'

In terms of confronting role-play style and how the server lives and exists. Kab made HUGE progress.

If you didn't watch until the end of her stream, Kab had initially planned to murder Zam at the end of that convo but changed her mind bc of what happened. 

Like she said in the flower field that she wanted to “do lore” with Zam to do before session and make him not trust her anymore. And in the end she reveals that "lore" was just murdering him.

She tends, like she did with the consequences arc, to plan shit out and then execute that plan. Bc she’s a scripted lore server girl. 

But in this conversation she, in real time, adjusted her plan based on the unscripted conversation that flowed from it. Which is huge news for lifesteal enjoyers. If she can learn to embrace this we will be eating well. And that can only come through practice.

From a PrinceZam analysis, we got to see him go to work and try to get information from Kab. She leaked a lot, but he really does need the practice on extracting info, he's been talking about it a lot, and she’s a great subject to practice on. 

So I am very excited for him to get that practice in future conversations. 

And Zam does try several different approaches, feigned indifference, just asking, comforting lie that he wont tell anyone the secret is safe with him, pretending to only be interested in one thing instead of everything, asking direct questions that she must confirm or deny which should give him info either way, asking for the favor out of friendship, asking for the favor out of the continued exchange of information, asking for the favor out of her not having given as much as he had given, playing for the ego that if it’s so bad you can’t tell me it must be really bad so you want to tell me, asking over and over.

She for her part only knows flattery, apology, and the placation of emotions to make you think you don’t want to know the information anyway or because you react too strongly and it wouldn't be healthy for you to know. 

The most interesting analysis is how at the very very end of her stream she said “I’ve giving him a warning that I’m going to fuck with some stuff so he shouldn’t.. He shouldn’t label that as me betraying him” 

Whichhhhhhh is hilarious because we all know ends only in one way. But that is shocking bc this was his fundamental reason for betraying Eclipse was bc they thought this way?? Like Vi and Subz thought if they were subtle and slow and give him warning about the wormhole, that he wouldn’t take that as a betrayal. But he did. So he betrayed outright. To like, oversimplify it. But basically, warning Zam does absolutely nothing to protect yourself from him ending the relationship when you do something new that is not aligned with his morals/thoughts/desires. 

So so so interesting how she has that viewpoint if she did watch Eclipse.

Oh! Final thought that might go more into the meta-conflict side of things. I think we don’t get that much meta-conflict in a similar way to how it was with Vi or Minute and Jumper and Pentar last season. Idk hot to describe it exactly.

It might not be quite what meta-conflict means, but like how Kab stops all lore to cause conflict based on what conflict was presented to her.

Kab has a massive tendency to use embarrassment and shame as an attack when she feels unsafe or embarrassed. Like she will instantaneously go for causing you embarrassment and making you feel bad for your choices whenever she feels threatened in order to make you back off. 

Like when she said: “and zam, this is the person you’re friends with?”

But she goes for the throat like this a ton, like with Bacon this stream going towards a consent argument to make him feel incredibly awkward and that he will back off from jumping her instead of risking saying 'no does not mean no'.  

There were other times in earlier streams that idk if I can remember them, but it’s happened a lot with Woogie and Bacon whenever they imply that they have doubts that her plan will work, she takes it almost as them saying they think she’s stupid. And she reacts very aggressively and makes it about meta stuff instead of on the server stuff.

What I do find fascinating is how Bacon, in three streams or so, has already learned how to give her critiques on her plans so that she doesn’t get offended and that she instead learns his thought process and is the one to back down. He is learning quickly.

Also I just realized JUST how much analyzing lifestealers feels like completing those logic puzzels where you have to figure out who has what item and what location or whatever and you get like five clues. No wonder I love this shit so much.