#in case someone has them blacklisted and doesn’t want to see this

[everchanging-cryptid]

Crowley kin (no clue what “kin” actually means in this sense, don’t crucify me please) but also currently not sleeping and instead having an existential crisis about dying and ending up in Hell because I disappointed God

anyway what are all of you doing on this lovely night

[saikira999]

For TWST Minecraft, do you think you could do Lilia, Riddle, Leona and the tweels next. It doesn’t have to all be in one post.

~ Headcannons for TWST characters playing Minecraft

Hi! I was away for a long time because of exams and because I was writing headcanons with these characters. however, I want to warn you right away that I will only do two characters per post, for the sake of beauty. But don't worry! All headcannons have already been written and translated and I will exhibit them in the near future.

(By the way, I have already added Lilia to my old post with Azul. I'll keep all the links here)

Another parts about:

Azul and Lilia!

Idia and Malleus!

Jade and Floyd!

[Riddle]

Riddle definitely heard about this game, but was never interested... However:

1) "What? No, Ace, I won't play this game... How do you imagine Me playing with blocks? I'm not a child, and besides, according to the law of the Queen of Hearts, the number...."

2) Trey convinced Him by saying that the players of Heartslabyul needed Their leader, and playing together would strengthen Their camaraderie... And carefully hinted that not all of Them adhere to the rules of the game (Ace is a damn griefer).

3) First, studied all the information about the game, including the history of its creation, instructions, guides, and even memes, which He didn’t really understand.

4) “Why is the cake not cooked in the oven???”

5) Competes with Azul and Vil in meticulousness and pickiness. He always has perfect order in his chests, each labeled with its own type and number. If you put something in the wrong place, you are must be prepared to get hit in the neck with this object.

6) His house is a perfect symmetrical monster, built not far from the nearest village, next to a birch grove, on the border of which giant mushrooms grow. The house itself is small, with a rose garden around it, and a small lake in the shape of a heart. The house is predominantly made of birch and mangrove, maintaining a red and white palette. Inside there are many vases with roses, paintings and one iconic red bed.

7) The village that He occupied took under His wing, Riddle also rebuilt, planting flowers around it, making a statue of the Queen of Reds from carved stone, and in some places he rebuilt houses, or made new ones, to suit His style. He has good taste, however, this place often comes under the threat of griefing.

8) “I will not punish a freshman for breaking My building in a game about blocks. I will not punish a freshman for breaking My building in a game about blocks..... I will not.... "

Sees Ace surrounding TNT His village and setting it on fire*

"....."

Gets up from the computer and aggressively quickly stomps towards the freshmen's living rooms*

9) A peaceful player who only draws his sword if someone breaks some rules or behaves inappropriately. His blacklist: Ace, Grim, Floyd, Epel, and sometimes Lilia.

10) He prefers the construction and development of his own village (In no case because He likes power over anyone... And no! Not because He competes with Azul in whose village is better... No, no, no. Nope).

11) He runs the largest stable on the server and is very proud of it.

12) His favorite horse is Vorpal. A fast and healthy horse, dark brown in color with white spots, wearing iron armor.

13) Loves to prance around His village, appreciating it from all sides and receiving guests while sitting on a horse.

14) ...In no case because He looks taller like that...

15) Plays Minecraft in secret from his mother.

16) Tries to follow the laws of the Queen of Hearts even in the game and makes sure that players break away from the game in time and drink tea, or do not eat cakes or pumpkin pies within a certain period of time.

17) Despite His strictness, Riddle loves to help other players with buildings or resources.

18) Entry into His village is officially prohibited for Floyd.

19) ACE, EPEL, DON'T TOUCH THESE CHESTS!

20) .....Cakes....The chest is completely filled with cakes...... Completely.

[Leona]

How lazy... Headcanons for a lion and pixel cubes:

1) “What do you want from Me, herbivore? Ahh... yawn*... Do you want to play games for the little lion cubs again, hmm...?”

2) Didn’t want to play for a long time, because considered the game stupid and not worthy of His attention. And He started playing by accident, when he ordered Ruggy to bring Him a sandwich from the kitchen, but he suddenly refused, because “He’s fighting with some dragon and He doesn’t have time to serve on him now... OUCH! OUCH! ENDERMAN IS HITTING HIM!!!”...

3) Had to go get the sandwich myself...?

Nope. He sent someone else, and he himself started downloading this stupid game...

4) Definitely the laziest player. Leona only comes into the game when He gets SO bored that even sleep seems too energy-intensive for Him.

5) As a rule, Leona wanders from side to side, sometimes getting into fights with other players and monsters. He's not much of a builder, but he's quite a good fighter.

6) Loves to cause trouble and often pits other players against each other. It especially hits the villages of Riddle and Azul.

7) At first, He didn’t even try to work on His house, and simply dug a hole for Himself in a beautiful rock... But as he immersed himself in the game, he began to improve His lair more and more, adding some bulky stone structures to the rock and cobblestones, reminiscent of turrets growing from rock walls. Inside, everything is hung with vines, the palette has warm shades. Lots of carpets and flags. The inside of the "royal palace with one single ruler" is a little empty, as Leona only knew that His house must look great from the outside.

8) Perhaps He will plant a couple of acacia trees at the foot, since during construction he often fell down the cliff, and the foliage softens the fall... However, Ruggi, who lives right below Him, seems not very happy with this idea.

9) “Lightning rod, Ruggy. Make Me a lightning rod. You don’t want lightning to set fire to the dry grass near My rock?”

10) Exploits Ruggi, Yuu and other players as best he can, forcing Them to carry resources and food to Him.

11) In Savanna, where He settled, Leona found a huge village, which he captured and declared as His kingdom... Which He would quickly abandon, since he had already killed all the local livestock and accidentally beat up a couple of residents... And then the robbers came, and that village no longer exists... Boredom...

11) Definitely a good ruler (Nope).

12) Afk 24/7. Often, His character simply freezes in place, ignoring any attacks from mobs or players for the simple reason that the lion fell asleep right at the computer...

13) A couple of times he tried to use cunning to take power over other people’s villages and even the server itself, which is why he earned the title of “Local Villain,” but every time, He was either driven back to His rock or banned.

14) One day, as punishment for the fact that Leona had quarreled with the entire server, He was sent to the mine...... And He fell asleep there.

15) And when he woke up, he quickly persuaded Ruggy (I already feel sorry for Him. Seriously. Stop torturing the hyena) to give Him coal, iron and other amenities from the mine, so as not to dig in the dirt on His own.

16) Sometimes He teases Jack, taming wolves in front of Him.... Now, He has a whole army of dogs, ready to tear anyone in His path.

17) Besides Savanna, Leona loves to walk in the desert and jungle, but hates going into water.

18) All creepers are afraid of him.

19) Initially, the lion had poor preparation for the final battle with the dragon, but after visiting other players (DO NOT TOUCH RUGGY), Leona entered the portal, armed to the teeth, and was especially ferocious in battle.

20) Along with Idia and Yuu, he killed the dragon (Insert the sound of an angry cat fighting a huge lizard here), and was the one who picked up the egg.

Initially he wanted to burn it, but in the end he decided to voluntarily give the egg to Malleus “out of pity”... Well, and maybe a little because he wanted to exalt Himself and show who is cool and noble here.

...Needless to say, Malleus did not understand His evil mockery and accepted this ambiguous gift with a little funereal honor.

Give Me ten minutes and I'll post the twins. Also, if you find errors in the text, please report it in the comments (English is not my native language).

Reblog Me, please! :D

[wayfayrr]

Alright anons, we need to have a talk. Moss is too much of a sweetheart so I’m going to say it for them.

Get the hell out of their business.

I understand that some of you enjoy certain fics that were made by them, and are sad to see them go, but that doesn’t give you the right to try and repeatedly send asks regarding a particular Link.

Moss has been so kind and patient with you guys. More patient than other creators would be, that’s for sure. And do you read rules before coming into a person’s inbox? Because the way some of you guys have been acting, I’m not too sure.

Moss has made it clear that they are not interested in talking. They do not like repeating themselves. They’ve said it multiple times and yet they get ignored and stomped on.

“But I was just genuinely wanting to know-” It doesn’t matter. Genuine or not, asking something that is repeatedly told to stop asking about - which is declared on their pinned post that you failed to read - is saying enough about your ignorance to their wishes.

“They always place the warnings in the tags” Anon, come close for a quick second. Tumblr tags are an added space for thoughts. It’s free information about the person. It’s a part of what makes Tumblr, Tumblr. You can always blacklist the tags or block them if you want to. OR you can just not come to their blog anymore. Maybe even pretend they’re not there at all. You are responsible for yourself at the end of the day. But alas, the memo is not being get.

Besides, anyone with a sliver of a brain cell can see that they’re uncomfortable whenever someone brings them up. Whether they’re anon or not.

“Well, I’m not going to listen to you because you’re their friend so you’re biased” Isn’t being a friend of theirs, more reason to listen? Unless I’m giving you too much credit and you don’t understand friendship very well. In which case I recommend you watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

Anons, if you’re so desperate to talk about him, then get off anon. Stop being scared. Let us know who you really are behind the facade.

This isn’t TikTok or Twitter/X. Pushing boundaries isn’t fun or cutesy. It’s disgusting.

I don’t care what age you are. You are not entitled to someone’s life and thoughts. No matter how buddy-buddy you think you are with them.

This behavior is inexcusable. Be better, anons.

I would like to add one small thing that is - I've been debating turning off anon because of the recent everything, I've settled for simply closing my askbox for now and taking a step away from posting before coming back when I'm not a hair away from deleting my entire blog because of it all. I'm so close to just nuking it because I'm just done, although all of the the people who respect me just have me coming back because I still care.

[plague-of-insomnia]

Reminder: I won’t be tagging any kuro spoilers aside from the new monthly manga chapters.

If for some reason you are following me but don’t want to see stuff related to the new kuro anime, either bc you don’t want spoilers for it or just aren’t interested, you can blacklist the tag #book of weston as that’s the tag I’ve been using for all of the anime-related posts. That’s not the official tag so it won’t block other posts connected to the anime in case for some reason you just don’t wanna see mine lmao 🤣

Keep in mind that *may* catch some manga-only posts bc once I start using an anime tag for kuro i often stick with it for ease (I used to separate them but not anymore lol).

I also try to tag every post that may be construed as #sebaciel if I feel like it may make someone uncomfortable who doesn’t like the ship so it’ll get filtered. If it’s ambiguous or the artist has asked not to use that tag then I won’t.

On the other hand, if you’re here and don’t want to see any post that IS NOT kuro related, you can blacklist #not kuro. I’ll admit I don’t tag EVERY single non-related post that way (sometimes i’m too tired), but I would say I tag about 90% at least.

If you ever have questions about my tagging system, you’re free to ask any time, even on anon.

I tag for myself mostly bc I get twitchy if I am not organized, but I don’t mind using certain tags if you’re reasonable about your requests and not a dick. ;)

[kudzucataclysm]

SE CHARACTER INQUIRIESSS

from yesterday :D im putting them all together, hope y'all dont mind if i tag peeps who asked

for @vacantgodling

JACK JA (ppl pronounce ‘JA’ as ‘JAW’ for some reason so it stuck)

Antumbra assassin and cleaner who was one of the many contract children that was paid to the organization (totally not slavery btw) by his parents to settle a debt. He isn’t unique by all means Antumbra wise, but he is recognized as one of its most efficient assassins

At the age of 12 he was hired by the Slaughter family to be the bodyguard of Vincent. At the time being two mutant closeted trans children was extremely rough, so the two confided in each other. Vince more or less taught him how to be an actual person and not just a killing machine

OTHER FACTS THATRE NOT HISTORY- he is a romantic at heart and treats Vincent all lady like when they go on those weird totally-not-dates

babysat Francis a few times in the past and honestly. Wouldve probably been a good influence on Frank if Francis didn’t have that weird nigh-obsessive attachment to Vince at the time :/

Loves candy and is a connoisseur of baked goods

Main weapons of choice are a pair of kukri knives

His mutation is purely physical, it simply gives him a reptilian appearance and some physiology (cant handle cold weather, somewhat amphibious, venomous, etc). He has a tail but he keeps cutting it off everytime it grows back because he doesn’t wanna go through the process of modifying his pants for it

TUGARIN

Basically an old work friend of Carmine when they both worked for the Soviet Union. While Carmine was blackmailed into working for them Tugarin at the time was a fully fledged Russian patriot who believed in Soviet supremacy

The economic and socio-political chaos in the aftermath of 1953 (that coincided with the Martian titanomachy) kinda fueled this, and the US becoming extremely isolationist while increasing superpowered espionage didn’t help either. His increasingly erratic behavior, suspected to be a result from his uncontrolled psychic powers, got him blacklisted by the Soviet government.

At some point after Carmine escaped to the US, Tugarin tried to undergo a similar surgery but the Soviets instead took his brain, which is still considered the 2nd most powerful on Earth. They used his brain to operate the country’s nuclear defense system; after 1962 he was ‘shut down’ due to instability and the uh..fact that HE is the one who launched nukes at the US lol

He’s still operating as the defense system but his subconscious is effectively sealed away…FOR NOW HUEHUEHUEHUE

for @muddshadow

AGENT HAMMOND

AAAAAAA

The first android to exist, EVER. he was activated in November 1905- he shares a birthday with Desmond!!!

Very stoic and seemingly emotionless but thats not really the case; he lacks empathy but is very much capable of sympathy.

He and Lupe ‘met’ in 1923 when she was assigned as his new operator. He’s been attached ever since, theyre BFF5EVAR

He raised and trained Agent Friday, Francis’s former adoptive parent. Is somewhat unaware of their reference of him but still kinda sees them as a surrogate kid of sorts. Would still kill Friday if he has to

Trans but in a robot way. He was built to be feminine and such but he eventually asked Lupe for a new body, which is his current one! He gave his old body away to someone else :)

TECHNICALLY has kids???? In the ‘AI can self replicate/make copies of themselves’ way?????????? Hobbes is by all means a lesser Hammond but Ham just doesn’t see it that way (nor does he like thinking abt it)

Is very much anti-alien in a pragmatic sort of thought process- he was programmed to protect humanity and the biggest threat to humanity right now is…Mars. And Martians just kinda running around eating and killing whoever they want irritates the fuck out of him so he kills them when he can. He’s one of the most OP characters in the story 

^will still kill humans if his hand is forced. 

ORION

Francis’s cousin!!! And a King Martian who is currently hurtling through space at like 40,000kph. He’s not having fun rn

Definition of spoiled and entitled, benefiting his nature as a King.

When he’s introduced he crashlands in rural Japan without a body so he’s forced to parasitize a middle school bully, which is how he befriends a human girl named Rei (bully’s former victim). He hates having a human body tho cuz he doesn’t like the nosebleeds and headaches he gets from using his space powers (also weak flesh suit). He gets a new body eventually tho

He’s here on earth for…some reason!!! He hit his head pretty damn hard on the way here but he knows he’s gotta warn somebody!!! About…something. Maybe

He’s also on Earth to escape an arranged marriage how embarrassing

THE VEIL

Technically by all means the THIRD Veil- the first one was in 1930, the second was in the 1970s, and both former Veils are retired. "The Veil” is basically the corporate/government poster child for American superheroes. He’s on all kinds of propaganda posters

Have you ever heard of Shaun King. yeah, basically him (monetizing social justice for personal gain)

On the surface, he's affable, modest, and sincere; an American treasure. Personally he’s disturbed, incredibly brutal and aggressive, using his charisma to sway the DUSA’s perception of government-hired mutants- who’re deserving of rights and freedom, unlike those unlicensed, criminal mutant types

Basic superhero powers, very much akin to superman’s super strength, speed, and flight

and finally for @zindagi-toh-bewafa-hai

CARMINE

Former Volkssturm paramilitary, aka *proto-Nazi. He spent much of his early life fighting communists up until the outbreak of superpowers in 1934, where he underwent self combustion during a firefight and went MIA

He resurfaced in Siberia a couple years later working for the USSR for reasons unknown, and this is when he underwent surgery to be fused with a nanite network. He’s effectively immortal because of this which is why even though in present day he’s 88, he looks to be somewhere around 50 years old

He’s Carson’s  grandpa even though his ‘son in law’ Carnegie disagrees since Carson by all means is a clone. 

He used to know Lupe!! Back when she was dating USSR superhero Veronika lol

*he uh. Isn’t as racist and prejudiced as he used to be, but still somewhat right-wing when it comes to politics and social issues. He would’ve voted for George Bush in 2000 but would hate Trump is what i’m saying. He still says racist/homophobic shit from time to time but by the time he reconnects with his (very much half-asian) granddaughter he’s…trying. Or at least trying to try lol

AZELFAFAGE

Francis’s dad and ultra powerful alien space sorcerer king >:D Has thousands of kids but Frank and Oz are the most important *shoves all the other kids away*

Was the one who spearheaded the plan with his brothers to kill his dad Aldebaran, and…actually got Lupe to assist him in the titanomachy?? HMMM WHAT HAPPENED THERE

Hates humanity by proxy; his dad basically nuked most of Martian history and culture becuz of his reverence of Earth so Azel’s pride is kinda hurt cuz of it…”WHATS SO GOOD ABT HUMANS?? WE ARE FAR SUPERIOR!!”

While he comes off as just…’stupid’/absentminded and just sex-hungry he’s actually highly intelligent and charismatic. Like if he WANTED to, he’d get rid of humans entirely but he hasn’t- he recognizes his people’s needs and is absolutely willing to subjugate humanity for his planet. Dont assume he’s empathetic tho; he’s still extremely power hungry and self centered.

HATES WOMEN BUT ALSO DOESN’T??? Expresses himself femininely but actively oppresses the female martian population as a form of population control which is hilarious to me. He’s above gender but also Isn’t

Once he meets Francis and realizes that she’s Oz’s twin, Azel immediately deems her the favorite child LMAO. he’s still transphobic as shit towards her tho and refers to her as his ‘son’, which she hates

DIVORCED

Drama queen and will faint at the slightest inconvenience and will throw tantrums

LUPE

*ahem ahem* THE MOST POWERFUL PSYCHIC IN THE WORLD AND TWICE SAVIOR OF HUMANITY, DR LUPE ALTENA!!!!

Has always been into computers and robots, so getting to work on an early Hammond was a dream come true for her. She’s the one who streamlined his coding/android model and mass produced them, and so she’s considered the ‘mother’ of all robots and androids

Before her ADP infection she was considered super goofy and passionate, very much a gremlin

Due to the infection + parasitic eye she’s functionally immortal and sort of trapped in her own mind/body. She LOOKS 48 but in present day she’s 97 years old- the infection has progressed to the point of dementia and due to PSYCHIC BRAIN SHENANIGANS she is no longer ‘LUPE’. So theres the empty shell of Lupe and theres the astral projection Lupe who’s still very much sane and Present but not really. Astral Lupe is busy time traveling rn and shell Lupe disappeared 15 years before the start of the story so go ahead and play the Twilight Zone theme song

Lupe has ALWAYS been aware of/involved with Dez’s existence, and ever since he was born she made him the heir to, well, everything (the city of Necropolis itself and all android technology). Too bad he’s absolutely unaware of this and his relation to her lol. Cringe fail aunt activity

HONEST TO GOD doesn’t wanna kill all the martians but her increasing neurological issues had Hammond take things into his own hands so while HE says she came up with the Grand Plan its honestly a case of unreliable narration; they were the only two in the room when this conversation happened so WHO KNOOOWWS

ULYSSES

Not much to say about her? She’s the current leader of Antumbra and by association is one of the greatest assassins in the world. However its a hokage type situation where she just does a lot of paperwork and deskwork

Always sleepy. She’s so fucking sleepy ong she can sleep anywhere anytime

Martin’s mom but is largely absent in the physical affection/parenting department. She still loves him tho!!

Tries her best to stay a neutral party as a major figurehead of the League by staying out of shit but honestly it could be argued that this makes the politics of the League more complicated

[spitzyyyy]

self indulgent rant under the cut

TL;DR: people who put phobia causing images in the thumbnails of videos without warning that aren’t specifically educational videos are assholes, and they should fuck off. this goes for any phobia: trypophobia, arachnophobia, etc. i’m fine with nature channels doing this, since. i know what i’m getting when i subscribe to one. but for non nature channels it’s a bitch move.

as a severe arachnophobe: content creators who put spiders as the focus in the thumbnails of their videos can go fuck themselves /gen. like. they don’t have to be in the FUCKING THUMBNAIL unless you are a channel that does that shit regularly. i don’t want to be on my phone, checking my youtube dashboard, and get hit with a close up of a black recluse!! i understand 100% if you’re a nature channel and that is your job, but if it isn’t then like. idk don’t fucking do that??? i’ve gotten into the habit of avoiding videos about bugs because the odds of there being a picture of a spider somewhere in there without warning is really high! when someone says “tw: bugs” i think BUGS, not spiders or scorpions!! fuck you if you call spiders bugs in the first place: THEYRE NOT. spiders aren’t bugs, they’re arachnids! there’s a distinction. and if you’re arachnophobic, there’s a huge difference between being afraid of spiders and being afraid of other insects!! i fucking love insects but i can’t look them up without having to worry if i’m going to have a breakdown because of images of spiders being mixed in! putting a spider in the thumbnail is rude as hell, especially if you don’t usually make videos that cover spiders/bugs—your audience has no warning! and not putting an arachnophobia warning in the video or description is also bad! sifting through comments to see if there’s any mentions of spiders is NOT easy either: it’s so EASY to miss any mentions that if i’m worried that i’ll be hit with a picture of a spider then i’ll not watch the video—even when the stuff genuinely interests me! and that doesn’t even get me started on videos that drop images of spiders with no prompting! i’m trying to watch a TED talk about that astronaut that went blind in space, and he drops a picture of a brown recluse with no prompting or warning!!

spiders genuinely make me feel icky when i see them: we get them on the door in the summer, and i will genuinely wait for someone else to come and open the door rather than get anywhere near a spider. i don’t like being in the same fucking room as them! there’s a reason i have them blacklisted and why i’ll ask someone else to look something up if im worried that there might be spiders in the results! scorpions don’t bother me—i think they’re badass—it is literally just spiders.

i’m. very opinionated about this. as someone with a genuine fear which makes me incapable of enjoying things, fuck people who put pictures of spiders in the thumbnails of their videos and don’t properly warn about it. those people are fucking assholes.

i’ll say this again: nature channels which focus specifically on nature and informational videos about that are different! you EXPECT that to come from them, since that’s they’re job!! i wouldn’t get mad at casual geographic for putting spiders in a video that he dedicated to bugs: if i watch that, i sign up for it. that’s on me. or if i watch a yt short about why you shouldn’t eat bananas with white spots on the peel (it could be a sign of mold or spider infestation, neither of which you want to eat) then i signed up for it!! if i watch a kurzgesagt video about the ant kingdom and warrior ants that will beat the shit out of everything (including tarantulas) then i expect that i might get hit with an animated spider!! in those cases, my panic response is under control, because i ANTICIPATED that i would be dealing with it! but if daily dose of internet puts spiders in the thumbnail without warning, then what the fuck. i don’t expect that! it triggers my panic response near instantly (which is to instinctually throw the thing with the spider on it away and to curl up into a ball) and i become WAY too self conscious!! i literally go into a fight or flight response with spiders—it’s flight. nature channels: i expect! non nature channels: i do not expect and it freaks me out. there’s a difference between me watching videos with bugs in them and being aware of the risk vs me watching a gaming video and being shown a spider.

i know people genuinely don’t mean harm when they do this, but it’s not THAT hard to not have spiders in the thumbnail. it’s not that hard to put a “cw: spiders” or “tw: arachnophobia” at the beginning of your video OR in the description! if you can warn about blood or death, then you can warn about spiders, as it’s one of the most common phobias!

[jigensass]

I posted 4,251 times in 2022

264 posts created (6%)

3,987 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jigencaps

@justherefortheheists

@mmangaboi

@detectivehole

@oursamuraifreund

I tagged 933 of my posts in 2022

#jigen daisuke - 209 posts

#spoilers - 61 posts

#alaska - 51 posts

#part 6 spoilers - 37 posts

#jiglup - 37 posts

#lupin the third - 36 posts

#part 6 episode 21 - 26 posts

#jigen - 18 posts

#goemon ishikawa xiii - 17 posts

#yes - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#cause i’m pretty sure my adhd genes came from my dad because his mannerisms are nearly identical to what i started to notice in myself when

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

148 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

#4

Send this to anyone who knows nothing about Lupin the Third without context and ask them to explain this

193 notes - Posted January 7, 2022

#3

Jiglup canon?

Jiglup canon.

218 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

#2

Let’s Talk about the Multiverse of Madness (objectively)

This is your only warning about spoilers for this movie so if you don’t have ‘spoilers’ blacklisted you have been warned. Also, this is gonna get pretty dark so also be warned for that.

Now that I have gotten the hype of watching this movie out of my system, I can now put my more tame thoughts into form. I did some reading on other peoples’ opinions about the film before writing this, so I am aware of their qualms with the film. However, this is my opinion about the film. I am also someone who has been a fan of Doctor Strange for almost ten years now (scary to think about when you realize I have been through Stephen’s entire MCU history from fruition to now on tumblr) and I have read the comics, so I know most of the lore.

Now, you don’t have to go into this film with much background information outside of the first film, Infinity War, and Wandavision, but if you know the lore like I do, you’re going to love this film. And loved this film I did so much I’m debating about going to the theater to watch it again, it was that good after thinking some things over. (Disclaimer I did not watch Wandavision and am not going to shovel money for Disney+ to watch Wandavision.)

I am going to touch upon all aspects of the film including lore, the future of the frachise, other people’s opinions, and what some people have seemed to missed with the theme of the film.

The first thing is that there is technically no villain, only a threat. That threat being Wanda Maximoff aka the Scarlet Witch. This is someone who currently is going through mental distress to the point of obsession. The way some phrases such as how she explained her thoughts on how she felt about taking the Mind Stone out of Vision’s head was a very human way of tackling the big theme of the film, which was based around the actions of the characters, their consequences and how they affected the people around them, and how they dealt with the hand they’ve been given in life whether it be good or bad.

Wanda just happened to take her shitty hand and turn it up to 11 by going on a multiverse murder spree.

When Wanda killed herself, it wasn’t out of force, it was out of choice because of the sheer amount of guilt she felt over the things she did. You know, like a very depressed person with no more strings to grasp at. So they do the sudoku.

Wanda is supposed to be the negative representation to Stephen how people deal with loss and trauma. Stephen doesn’t understand what Wanda is going through because he has difficulty relating to others. It took seeing himself with the powers of the Darkhold and what it did to him to realize that he should move on from Christine and not be afraid of being truly alone like he has since his accident. This is represented by not fixing his watch that he broke during the accident in the first film until the very end of this one to show that he has moved on. It was his symbol of attachment of craving that love and affection of one person, just like in Wanda’s case where she wanted the love and affection of her ‘children’. She wanted what most of the other Avengers got after Infinity War which was closure or happiness to their lives and used whatever means she could get her hands on to make herself happy without being aware of the damage it was causing.

Stephen could have had easily just given in and used the Darkhold to whisk himself away to a universe where he still was a surgeon and he had Christine’s love. Stephen could have easily took America’s power with no remorse, but instead he told her to trust herself that she could control her power. Even despite having a similar internal battle that Wanda had decided to side with. No matter how much they tried to rationally reason with her, to help her see the turth of what she was doing was unreasonable and unethichal, she had made her choice to give in to her demons and delusions. You never saw the battle with Stephen, but the signs were there.

Initially when this movie was announced to be in the genre of horror, there were two things I wanted way back when. 1. Tentacles (because it isn’t Doctor Strange if you don’t have tentacles) 2. Stephen’s emotional trauma and a fight with his sanity because of the guilt he had to carry in Infinity War. 

I got both of those in spades. 

Stephen is a very emotional person. He truly does care about people and his actions. He carries his guilt if he screws up and when he royally screwed up with the incursions, he was clinging to having the acceptance of Christine to care for him just like after his accident when the entire world had abandoned him. He was afraid of being alone. Just. like. Wanda.

I have seen some people say that Michael Waldron who was a writer for Loki and this movie ruined Loki and Stephen by putting them under powerful women, but I disagree with Stephen’s case. Wanda doesn’t overshadow him, it’s just the dynamic of how they are presenting themselves and dealing with their issues is on the opposite ends of the spectrum: Wanda is more external and vocal while Stephen is more reserved about it. It took him the entire movie to speak up and say ‘yeah I’m scared of losing you and being alone’.

Stephen and Wanda’s internal battles with achieving happiness was something I related to on a personal level. Always wanting to have what you want, not being aware of what other people may think of what you’re doing or for how they feel about the situation. I’ve been through that multiple times with multiple people. It’s only until recently that I’ve been able to realize that there have been people in my life, mostly outside of the internet who have been strong-willed enough to call me out on my bullshit instead of letting me continue to make a fucking ass of myself and realize that I have more potential than I ever realized. And it’s not only them, you have to be patient enough to listen to what they have to say to realize the truth about yourself through the lens of others and be willing to seek help when a shoulder is there for you to lean on. And this instance, I cared enough about these people to seek the help I needed to be able to become a better person.

There are multiple quotes throughout the Buddhist doctrine about the moon, its reflection, and relating it to mindfulness. The one that comes to mind when I think about the film is the monkey grabbing for the moon’s reflection in the water. It is grabbing for an illusion while the real thing is above in the sky, illuminating the night. 

Basically the entire theme of Multiverse of Madness can be summed up in this trailer for another film, which is actually a documentary.

Something else that a lot of people, I guess forgot when watching this movie, is that Stephen is just a Master of the Mystic Arts and not the Sorcerer Supreme. It just dawned on me when I was watching MoistCritikal’s review on the film that Stephen being underpowered and having “unimpressive magic” and not being able to completely subdue Wanda, someone with the power of a literal demon at her disposal who could mow the sorcerers of Kamar-taj 10 times over, is actually very fitting for this film.

The original run of Doctor Strange comics from the 80′s and 90′s are named in this order. 1. Doctor Strange: Master of the Mystics Arts 2. Doctor Strange: Sorcerer Supreme

We are just hit 1.5 in Stephen’s journey in the MCU with the introduction to the next leg of his journey. You know it, I know it, there is gonna be a third movie. Stephen’s going to become Sorcerer Supreme either because Wong dies or we finally get to see the Vishanti in their physical forms and see them give the mantle to Stephen for kicking Dormammu’s ass with the science of judo.

No, I am not making that shit up.

This is getting long already and I haven’t even talked about the other aspects of this film which are the lore and the horror.

Imma start with the latter: this is a PG-13 film, so gore is limited, but Sam Raimi definitely knew where to push the boundaries with this film and there were some moments that did actually scare me. Wanda contorting out of the gong? Black Bolt’s death? Slicing Peggy Carter in half? BREAKING PROFESSOR XAVIER’S NECK ON SCREEN?! Oh yeah, and the zombie makeup at the end was a breath of fresh air to be real instead of some CGI garbage. The cinematography in a lot of the shots was really really good or unique, especially when Wanda was dreamwalking for the first time as it switched back to her in both bodies was really good. Though scene with the slowing of time to get a jump scare in was kind of cheap.

I know I haven’t really talked about America Chavez because in all honesty, she was the just macguffin of the movie, so I really don’t have much to say except she was there to do her thing and we found out Stephen can’t speak Spanish which is hilarious. Oh, and this is what made me give this movie the praise it deserves. They gave the biggest middle finger to China in particular of showing America’s parents who are canonically lesbians on screen and there is absolutely no way you can edit it out of the film without losing some important backstory to America’s character so anyone watching this without her parents on screen will be confused as fuck as to how America got to where she was in the movie.

But now it’s on to what made this movie, for me, grin from ear to ear. All of the lore and Easter Eggs stuff within it for the Doctor Strange fans who know the ins and outs of this stupid wizard. This is not your lame ass list on the basic aspects of the movie, this is stuff that you never knew was a thing or I thought it was a nice touch to add in for continuity sake.

1. Zombie Stephen is actually Stephen from this version of the Defenders from 2011 where he slept with a college student.

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283 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Good morning

Now the question on everyone's mind this morning is

Did the English Dub make the fuzzy angel scene any more gay? Could it make it any more gay?

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325 notes - Posted August 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[cannabiscomrade]

I have been trying to figure out how to respond to this because it’s so disconnected from the reality we’re facing as chronically ill people reliant on medical staff.

There’s always been a disconnection between the people who want to help people and the need for a substantial income. The pandemic has not made this worse- that’s why there’s the (white) mean girl turned nurse stereotype. however your point about healthcare workers that actually care is definitely valid in that yes, a lot of the good ones have died or become disabled. However- that does not mean that there isn’t senior staff that are doing this too. If you read the notes you’ll find dozens of anecdotes.

But asking us to refuse treatment is so fucking comical every time I see someone reblogging this addition uncritically I have to laugh. This isn’t even happening solely in hospitals which shows the absolute disconnect between the world of chronically ill people who are 100% reliant on healthcare workers to survive. A lot of central line access happens through home healthcare, which does not have the “convenience” of firing nurses like you do in the hospital, and when these people are in your literal home, it can be harder to advocate for your care when it’s just you and a healthcare provider. And the other portion of this is often happening in outpatient infusion centers, which while part of a hospital generally are the least staffed. My infusion center only has 11 nursing staff members even though they’re directly inside a level 1 trauma center. They have a charge nurse but no one directly above them.

Infections, especially in the case of high risk devices like central lines, in fact are NOT easily traced. My port is accessed 5 out of 7 days, other people have central lines accessed 24/7. Others have them accessed less than that. Infection control and tracking is way more complex for people with central lines because we have a lot more factors going into our care than traditional peripheral infections or other means of going septic.

“Going to the reception desk” means cancelling my appointment or leaving against medical advice, which can impact the continuity of care through my insurance for “not complying” with my healthcare plan. It means being ambulatory or relying on your caregiver or OTHER HOSPITAL STAFF to take you back to reception.

I personally have been blacklisted as a non-compliant patient from an entire hospital group due to filing a formal complaint about a PA. Being labeled as non-compliant to treatment, drug seeking/user, or “mentally ill” can impact your ability to petition for proper medical care.

Those of us with central lines often times require prompt intervention that doesn’t have the same convenience that able-bodied people and disabled people not requiring life-sustaining therapy often don’t understand.

And it is an absolute joke that so many of you are suggesting litigation, as if those of us on life-sustaining therapy just have the money and time to retain a lawyer and pursue a malpractice case, especially when a lot of us only have access to one hospital system or one home healthcare company.

The anti-mask brain rot is penetrating the hospital system in a terrifying fashion.

Masks are necessary for accessing central lines, and more and more nurses are starting to have issues with wearing a mask during STERILE PROTOCOL.

These lines are going right into our hearts and nurses are throwing tantrums about having to cover up their faces for 5 minutes.

This has not happened at my infusion center personally but I have mutuals and friends who have had to beg their nurses to put on the mask that literally comes in the sterile access kit.

[squeakysleeper]

11/28/22

trying something a little new here. i’m in a spiral, having trouble holding myself accountable to things i need to do so maybe this will unlock some cheat code where if there’s a possibility that someone else could hold me accountable to my goals, i might do better with achieving them. that being said, not expecting any interaction with these or people to read them, though if you do, that’s also cool! i’m just trying to journal style jedi mind trick myself and we’ll see how it goes!

these posts will be journal entries, nothing like, personal in the way of social security numbers but that being said, dunno how personal i’ll feel like getting any given day, assuming i manage to keep this up. ‘snapshots in life’ is my personal tag, feel free to blacklist it if you like! (don’t tell me though, the idea that someone could see these is the point of this attempt) i am going through some serious stuff, probably won’t be all positive, but there is also positive stuff going on too which i will do my best to focus on as well.

that said, here we go for the first entry.

my brother got out of the hospital today, which is good, I suppose. sounds like the hospital has flagged him for a charity case which means for him that they’re aware they messed up so bad they’re trying to make sure he doesn’t sue, but as long as there’s no long term complications from their actions, that’s far better that a 30k debt. fingers crossed, there.

bit of a scare later, which my father got very combative about. he was a doctor for over thirty years, but he’s never had much in the way of empathy, and five minutes of medical advice was a big ask, i guess. i’m glad he was less combative with my brother than he was with me, and actually gave good counsel, and calmed him down when things got dicey, but still.

coming to terms with the actual lack of care from my parents is…a work in progress, i suppose. one of those things you always know and then coming to find out it’s far worse than you thought is an experience. to inject some positivity here, i’m having good luck building a new family in this new place. and there’s always my friend’s parents who I’m spending holidays with, it’s nice to love people and have them love you back. i haven’t had as much of that as i thought i had in my life, and to have it now and realize what i had been lacking for so long is both a blessing and a hell of a head trip.

my other brother paul has been checking in with aaron, the one in the hospital, which is good. they haven’t spoken consistently in years, and when i talked to aaron and he told me paul had checked in every day, he started to cry. i know how much he loves and misses paul, and how much he wants his brother back so here’s hoping something changes. we used to be inseparable, the three of us, and i miss him too. but maybe this will be the thing that brings paul back to us. i guess we’ll see.

i’m flying out to texas in a few days so I can be with aaron in case of any emergencies, it’ll be good for him to have someone nearby and I’m always happy to be that person. he’s there for me all the time. plus, us kids gotta stick together. sometimes i wonder if the lack of emotional connection from our parents is what made is so close, or if we’re just lucky. could be the large age gap, too. i hear people sometimes talking about how they hate their brothers, but i love mine very much, even if one has run off for now.

haven’t heard from david, my soon-to-be ex-husband, which is a relief. my stomach drops through the floor every time he calls. i still feel trapped some days, but i try to remind myself it isn’t forever, and a day will come when it’s the last day i ever speak to him. hopefully it will come soon.

tomorrow is my five week check-in for my break at work. i’ll start back up at the end of december, which i know, but i should also be getting a raise. i’ll find out during that phone call, i suppose.

oof, five weeks. i haven’t done shit. there are still unpacked boxes in my bedroom and the living room, it’s kind of a mess. i’ve been playing ark which is not a good thing probably, it’s an easy game to hide in. i need to clean this place and organize, but baby steps, that’s why i’m doing this.

LIST FOR TOMORROW TO BE FINISHED BY 5PM

do one load of laundry

shower

find aaron’s church books including a neil a maxwell quote book

label boxes in living room and attic and take two (2) upstairs

put away kitchen boxes

pay repair loan (update: apparently not due yet)

clip moose’s nails

start stone tumbler

buy batteries

*BIG TO-DO*

make the closet easily accessible

[kpop-hive]

Lucas Situation: My thoughts…

I wasn’t going to express my opinion, but considering how much shit has happened in the last 3-4 days. I think it would be best. 🤷🏽‍♀️

1.) This is NONE of my business! All of the stuff that came out happened between Lucas and the the girls

2.) It does not affect me at all IF he is an F-Boy it’s not like I would get the chance to date him anyway

3.) “Gaslighting” is such a strong word used in this situation. The OP that hasn’t been confirmed if her allegations were false states that her and him were on good terms, if they were in good terms why come out with this now knowing his reputation and idol status??? As a person who has been gaslighted multiple times, not by a guy, but people who I called my best friends, I am aware of how gaslighting works.

4.) Lucas has apologized, yes, but almost every SM idol has, and some of their stuff has been debunked, example: Taeyong. This is just SM’s way to handle a situation even if they handle it horribly.

5.) From previous allegations with other idols, I find it very sus that every time a comeback is mentioned or about to happen, a scandal pops up… makes you wonder if the people coming forth with these allegations have the same motive, they either want to tell the truth/their story, or ruin someone’s career which is really shitty.

6.) The first OP’s allegations came out to be false… If that’s the case, then who’s to say that the others aren’t? This entire situation has become a he say she say mess, and it’s not cute.

7.) Apparently someone has also came out with more allegations saying that he went to see a prostitute when he was underage? Wanted to have sex with them on their period? As well as talking about tall girls being men? ATP, Twitter should not be our main source. Source: https://twitter.com/vboxset/status/1430758410497179649?s=21

8.) I really wish people would stop comparing this situation to K**s W*, what he did was a literal crime, if Lucas did this he should not be associated as a criminal, just somebody who lost his moral compass, those two situations should not be comparable, and if you are comparing them just because they are Chinese, you are just racially profiling atp.

9.) To everybody hating some netizens for continuing to support Lucas, I strongly advise you to stop, some people would rather trust a person who’s career and livelihood is on the line than 3 or 4 random girls who use Twitter as an outlet.

10.) To everyone that is choosing to not support Lucas anymore, please don’t hate them either, something may have triggered them to trust the victims first than anything.

11.) To everyone trying to kick Lucas out of the group, you can go suck a d*ck, if you choose to unstan, that’s fine, but just because he may or may not have done anything, doesn’t mean that his entire career should be blacklisted, he’s a human like everyone else and should be treated fairly, how would you feel if you lost your job that you worked hard for just because of a rumor that may or may not be true that wasn’t even a crime?

12.) Going on a hiatus is what is best for right now, I’m upset too, especially since I wanted to see Jalapeño just as much as everyone else, but right now, there’s a lot going on, and the best thing is to wade out the situation. To anyone who was apart of the production of Jalapeño, are now the victims of circumstances, especially Hendery.

13.) Just be patient and see how everything will play out. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Btw, this is not edited

[yonkimint]

Just wanted to make a couple things clear.

1. You saying that you’re getting tired of hearing people debate the topic of Tae’s actions and how they make people feels IS being dismissive.

2. I never said Y/N was faultless, so don’t put words in my mouth. I HAVE looked at both sides, but it is still my opinion that Tae bears more of the responsibility for the hurt that has been caused.

3. Just because you didn’t intend to hurt someone doesn’t mean you are automatically absolved of all responsibility. In Tae’s case specifically, he was told numerous times that his behavior (however well-meaning) WAS causing a great deal of hurt, but he STILL didn’t stop. He was, as he says himself, ‘willfully ignorant, which places most of the blame on his shoulders.

Okay. I’ve really enjoyed interacting with y’all over the last year and a half with these AUs but this is getting ridiculous.

You are on anon and I have no way to distinguish you from any other anon who has come on here to make a comment. As a collective, those are some of the things that people have said.

AGAIN, if you aren’t happy with this AU or anyone’s commentary, please blacklist the tag and stop following me. Me saying I am tired of something is not dismissive. It is expressing how I personally feel and since you have come into my ask box twice now (that I know of) expressing your own feelings, I think I’m allowed to do so as well on MY own blog.

The only reason I did start speaking out about the Tae hate is because it has been endless update after update and I AM tired of it. If you would like, I can stop posting altogether 🤷🏻‍♀️

But ultimately, I think the best decision for me for now is to at the very least turn off anon. We’ll see how things go after this next update but unfortunately, if this is how people are going to come into my ask box with no regard for me as a person, idk if I’m gonna be able to keep interacting.

I apologize if that comes off as petty or whiny or whatever but writing these smaus isn’t fun anymore. And I’m also sorry to the MANY anons who have been so sweet over the last year and half! I have appreciated your comments and I hope you’ll keep reading. I understand if you don’t feel comfortable coming off anon but we’ll touch base soon and revisit opening them up again.

[corsairesix]

How would you change Fallout 4?

Okay so this is a long one so it’s under the cut

As I’ve mentioned before, I would make the main plot focus on synths as a metaphor for McCarthyism (and to a lesser extent transness). This is assuming a magical world where I have full creative control over a main game in a major franchise. The main character would either be a wastelander (with optional traits to be an escaped synth, mind-wiped or not) OR if we’re going with the Sole Survivor then it would confirm the Sole is a synth theory; if the game’s going to make roleplay decisions for me, at least let them be thematically satisfying and cool.

The four faction companions would all be synths (Sturges, Danse, X6, and Glory) and would all represent a different take on synths in society. Danse would be basically the same, synth who doesn’t know it, self-hating, forced to change through self-acceptance or die in Blind Betrayal. The main change would be significantly changed behavior after BB and a chance to join the Minutemen or Railroad. Glory would be a synth who knows she’s a synth, and is very concerned with synth welfare and autonomy. X6 is a synth who has been mind wiped several times by the Institute due to his increased contact with the outside world. As he travels with the main character, there are decision points where X6 raises concerns about “glitches” (developing a personality as he gains experiences) and the player can decide whether to wipe his mind again or continue to travel with him. Before max affinity, he will ask for your help escaping the institute once again, you can complete his quest or you can turn him over to be mind wiped. Sturges is a synth with a Railroad identity, but who has traumatic memories resurfacing after the attack on Quincy. He is stuck between the true, harmful memories of the Institute or the false, comforting memories of his invented life.

In general the synth’s exploitation by the institute veers away from the slavery metaphor that’s in the game. Robots address labor issues very well and the slavery thing was weird and bad, so we’re moving away from that.

Mind wipes are much more controversial, much more like how they’re portrayed in Far Harbor. Characters like Glory who are mostly opposed to them see them as destruction of identity, not quite murder, but something that should only be done in dire circumstances. Those who are for it, Desdemona and Deacon, see it as a tool for helping synths hide and covering up painful memories (imperfect, as Sturges shows), and that there is an ineffable self that persists between wipes. It’s a source of tension even within the Railroad.

The Institute doesn’t have synth spies, but it does have human spies. The idea that the institute would 1) put synths in charge of major cities while still claiming they aren’t sentient and 2) put their constantly-escaping labor force on the surface with minimal supervision always bothered me. Institute agents foment anti-synth movements on the surface and sabotage synth sympathetic communities.

However, synth paranoia still totally exists. The combination of institute interference and the presence of freed synths, the public is terrified that their friends could be replaced by synths. In reality, the “confirmed” replacements were freed synths who either died (and evidence of them being a synth was found on death) or felt that it was safe to admit to others that they were a synth. No body snatching actually ever existed.

McDonough is a regular wasteland human, a corrupt Boston politician. He made his political career on anti-ghoul fearmongering, but after kicking the ghouls out of Diamond City he needed a new target. He is not associated with the institute, but since he began targeting synths he has received monthly campaign donations. He started the synth activities committee to investigate suspected synth sympathies among the citizens of Diamond City and its surrounding neighborhoods.

That’s the main plot stuff but for companions the main changes are:

Preston is a faction leader, not a companion. He’s very involved and has the same character arc, but the quests he gives are less radiant and more focused, with a plot moving forward.

Hancock is not a companion either, and is less of a good guy than in the game. Goodneighbor’s government serves as a condemnation of the founding father’s idea of freedom and that kind of American libertarianism. (Really, he’s an anarchist but also immortal mayor-for-life?)

Piper is a blacklisted journalist and the most vocal critic of McDonough’s anti-synth policies. She’s somewhere between an Edward R Murrow-esque anti-McCarthyist and an underground journalist. She’s a little more self-admittedly editorial and is openly for using journalism to change hearts and minds. She’s also a better writer than in the actual game.

Curie is a Mister Handy instead of a Miss Nanny because I find the concept of a girl Mister Handy that does the housework (especially when that’s already what Mister Handys do?) a bit silly. She voices more of a desire to be human and have control over her own body, rather than just “I want to do zee science better.” She even admires the player character if she is a woman. You can go the regular in-game route (with strong objections and disapproval from Glory, who doesn’t like to see someone she was close to inhabited by someone else) or you can use the institute to print a synth body for Curie. This route can be done under the guise of an “experiment” if you are part of the Institute (although some scientists may question the scientific value of such a plan) or you can get Liam Binet’s help if you’ve made contact with him as a spy for the Railroad. If you print Curie a body, it will be created based on her self-perception, and will look different from her body if you use the wiped synth route.

Ada and Codsworth can have a synth body printed as well, to Ada’s ambivalence and Codsworth’s objections. This can only be done if you are allied with the institute; Binet won’t help if your companion doesn’t seem to want to be a synth. There is no benefit to doing this.

Nick Valentine was a private detective pre-war, not a cop. After the Eddie Winter quest, which skips the collect-a-thon part, Nick wants to solve a case that is all his own, an unsolved wasteland murder that was the first case he had walk away from.

[seesgood]

can we very gently talk about call out posts / culture really quick?  not in a judgmental way, but in like a: i just want to pose a thought and explain why i’m never going to buy into it and why i wish it would become less of a trend instead of more of one? and i’ll add the  disclaimer  here: i totally get not wanting certain people around you for various reasons, that is all your prerogative. that’s your comfort level. but in emphasizing “your blog should be a safe space” we’re kind’ve losing sight of the fact that the rpc should also be a safe space, and as much as your comfort and safety matter, so do other people’s. and not just the person who hurt you, but the third parties and other mutuals and 99.9% of people who are not at all involved in any way in whatever happened. so, anyway here goes, read it or don’t, we all have different opinions or reasons, i just want to be heard:

people are allowed to change.  think back to who you were last year. two years ago. think about the stuff you said when you were seventeen, or twenty-one, or hell whatever age you were. current-you would probably cringe at the kind of stuff past-you had to say. because you grew. you learned. you had life experiences. in hindsight you have the freedom to be like “oof yeah that was not the best version of myself right there damn i don’t want to be like that again.” the growing trend of ‘here’s a 10+ page google doc complete with out of context screenshots that sometimes date back to like 2017 or earlier’ makes this kind of change impossible. because right there, you’ve just frozen a person in time, probably not at their best, removed any and all amounts of context, and put it on the internet and let other people judge it for themselves. 

so that leads into another point that i want to just kinda present to the community at large: the act of documenting behaviors and storing them for months / years at a time, in itself creates a super unsafe environment, not just for you, your friends, the people who have hurt you --- but also for anyone else that isn’t at all involved in whatever happened. like, for example, i like to think that i’m a pretty nice person. i actively try to be a nice person. am i sometimes not having the best day? have people definitely caught me in bad moments? oh hell yeah. but am i, as someone who tries really hard to be nice and welcoming, constantly thinking through every message i send to someone knowing that a) i could have a reputation that makes them read into context that isn’t there and that could contribute to them misinterpreting words i meant in a different way, b) very aware that every post i make, ask i send, message i send can at any moment be screenshotted and posted and taken out of context and either serve as someone’s only opinion of me or pile on to someone’s existing opinion of me? yeah. so in my experience, and based on people i’ve talked to, we now have this thing where you can be surface-friends wtih a lot of people, but if you want to survive in the tumblr rpc you should really only have 2-3 people that you really trust that you can actually talk about shit with. 

and lately i’ve been seeing a resurgence of posts on my dash about like “bring back xyz in the rpc” or “the reason the rpc is like this is because of xyz” and i both agree and disagree with a lot of this, but primarily i think the reason the rpc is Off lately is because everyone and their cousin has a DNI, which is --- again --- your decision and i understand and respect that, but while you know the context of every name on that DNI, other people don’t. and to be honest: other people don’t really care and honestly maybe they shouldn’t care. --- and don’t get me wrong, your friends should care if someone has hurt you. that’s important. but joe billy bob who just wants to write their character with yours is going to read through your rules, they’re going to see “do not interact with me if you follow with or interact with these people you’ve never heard of and if you want me to tell you why just message me” (which no one is ever going to do, i’m sorry to say). and say, joe billy bob also followed that other person because they were like ‘omg this blog looks cool’ --- now joe billy bob, who just wants to write cool plots, is suddenly the middle-man in some type of drama that they do not understand, and maybe they’re able to remove themselves from the situation, but even then it’s still in the back of your mind. 

this is getting long. it’ll be longer, but let’s take a brief break for me to remind you that in some cases, it’s definitely good to give your mutuals and friends a heads up when someone has done something really, really bad. like, remember x amount of years ago when some dude was like ‘i’m gonna make up a new person and say they died by suicide as a social experiment’ or ‘hey this person actively tries to force very triggering plots about abuse / rape / incest onto people and has been doing so for years and does not seem to change their ways no matter how many people try to educate them’ that’s shit people should probably know about. and it’s also okay ( in my opinion ) for your friends to be able to message you like ‘hey i saw you’re writing with x and i just wanted to let you know i had this experience with them’ if that’s something they feel comfortable doing. and if they are comfortable with you still having the autonomy to make your own decision regarding the person. 

i’ll be honest, for a second: i’ve been part of friendships and groups that have turned really toxic for one reason or another. a handful of times. there are probably people out there that are like “yeah this chick is really fake and manipulative and etc, i was friends with her back in 2019″ which, okay. yeah. i’ve definitely done shit and said shit that was not the most representative of who i want to be and who i want to become, and you probably have to. because we are human beings and we are a product of our social groups and the community around us. and you shouldn’t be chained to a version of you that isn’t you anymore. people change. they grow. you don’t have to like them, but you should respect that sometimes people don’t mesh, and that doesn’t mean any of them are bad people, it just means the experience was bad. 

a few additional notes i would like to make but i’ve already gone on way too long:

90% of the callout posts that i’ve seen and the DNI’s that i’ve seen can, in my opinion, be classified as a friend group thing. you were friends with x, x did something, now y and z aren’t friends with x anymore. pain is a very, very real thing and people hurting you should never be minimized, but at some point i just want you to remember that not every friendship is going to end happily, but both you and the other party should be allowed to move on and grow better, healthier friendships after. rehashing Friend Group Gone Wrong instances removes that ability for not only person x, but also person y and z.

you putting out a callout says just as much ( maybe more ) about you than it does about the other person. which sucks. because i’d like to think we all have great intentions, and i’m not saying that you should swallow your pain, but it might not be the kind of thing that impacts the community at large, and maybe you should try to find a better way of working through it with a trusted friend(s)

i’m going to be very real and very blunt on this one: literally no one cares. i say that with love. i’m good friends with people who have each other on their DNI’s. establish a baseline of respect and ‘i’m not going to say anything to them about you and vice versa because there’s no need for me to do so’ and move on. but seriously. no one cares. most outside people read callout posts because they like being in the know about the drama, not because they actually care. 

person a and person b who are mentioned in the DNI / callout aren’t the only ones who are going to be affected. your friends, your mutuals, your writing partners are now all put in a weird spot where you have to pick sides on an issue you know nothing about and shouldn’t have to know anything about. you’re asking people to choose sides on an issue they cannot fully understand, and that’s not fair to them or to you. and it drives great people away. and then we all lose out on having more awesome people in the rpc.

you’re entitled to your safe space, but this is a public platform and you are also responsible for maintaining your safe space. you shouldn’t put it entirely on other people to do that for you. you can block, blacklist, make up funny names for, or spitefully erase from your many anything and anyone that you wish. but you shouldn’t make your friends do it for you.

there’s always an inherent power imbalance when any kind of drama occurs between those who have more followers / friends / connections and those who do not. and the smaller blog is always going to suffer a little bit more because they don’t have people blindly coming to their defense. 

bad moments, bad experiences, bad decisions DO NOT equal bad people. 

allow people to make up their own mind about something or someone

anywho, if you read through this whole thing i think i owe you financial compensation. but also thank you for reading / listening / considering. even if you rolled your eyes through the whole thing like “stfu lia” that’s fine. i’m just presenting an alternative thought. i’d like to once again state: i’m not judging you if you’ve made a callout/DNI or if you’re on a callout/DNI. like i literally don’t care. and frankly, in my opinion, i shouldn’t have to. because i, and you, and your friends, and your mutuals, and your non-mutuals should be allowed the space to make up their own opinion and mind on something or someone without being told that there will be consequences if they don’t agree with you. set boundaries. communicate in healthy ways. you don’t have to forgive the people who have hurt or wronged you, but you also don’t get to decide that their actions make up 100% of who they are as a person, or decide that that is the only side of that person people should get to see. 

[lesbianfreyja]

hi, i’m sorry, this is probably not the right place to do this, i just really need to get this out somewhere & you seem to like. actually have some common sense, so anyway, this is about the popularized dv trial going on right now, so if you don’t want to read it/don’t have the capacity/whatever, i completely understand. it’s so disgusting bc like. even the people around me in real life have started to repeat the jd*pp talking points and it’s like i literally cannot exist anywhere in peace, even offline, i cannot exist anywhere without a reminder that these self-professed “feminists” and “supporters of victims” can and will take any opportunity to side with an abuser when the victim is imperfect and will turn cases like these, which are going to have and already have had a profound impact on the way people see victims of dv, into a joke or a series of “gotcha!” memes when the victim isn’t acting how you want her to / doesn’t look depressed and angry and upset 24/7 like. can they get a grip?? it seems like none of them even want to acknowledge that, despite all the odds being against victims, aheard has literally won case after case against him (not that court cases are a reliable marker of abuse, but as we know, it’s way harder to prove it & win a case as a victim than it is to win as a defendant) and this is literally a trial over an article that she didn’t even name him in. like it literally makes me sick because people i once called my friend are treating this as a joke and making an absolute mockery out of this whole thing, and if i say anything to them about it, i’m just hit with a “you don’t believe male victims exist?” and immediately shut down. like no, obviously male victims can & do exist, this rich man with a ton of power in hollywood who has been proven in a court of law (again, not adding this bc it’s the be-all-end-all marker of abuse, just because it’s really fucking hard to prove and she did) time and time again to have committed dv just isn’t one of them & even if she hit back at some point or stood up to him, there’s a difference between self defense and abuse! i had someone tell me that there was a recording of her going “who’s going to believe you?” to him, which, like, first of all, i don’t know if that’s true, but second of all, that definitely sounds like it could be something he could’ve said to her as he was abusing her and she could’ve repeated, so ???? i don’t understand how that’s some kind of like. definitive evidence. and like i have literally blacklisted their names on twitter and shit about the trial still slips through the cracks, and as a dv victim myself, it just makes me so fucking sick to see and have to hear about not just online or on twitter, but by people i thought i could trust. and i don’t even understand what the big deal is about this man anyway?? not that it would matter if he was actually relevant for anything, but like i do not know a single person who was batting for him this hard before these trials/this last trial in particular & whenever i ask about it, people are like “oh, i don’t even like him that much, i just ____” like i don’t get it y’all do not know this man PLEASE get a fucking grip

i’m very sorry you went through that ❤️ i think it’s an indicator that people backing amber are actively trying not to watch the case but frustrated for victims, meanwhile they’re being bombarded with meme videos from people who believe anything they read on twitter but when asked clearly don’t know the first thing about what the trial is even about. which one sounds like we actually advocate for victims??? not the one using audios of her describing her sexual assault and saying they’d love it if he did that. it’s disgusting and devastating that she goes through this every two years like clockwork since they divorced. it’s so devastating what this reveals about how men were only tolerating Me Too and i hope womankind can come back from the damage it’ll do, but my heart’s with the women who WILL feel its immediate aftereffect in the next few years

[kyluxtrashpit]

Okay so I jokingly mentioned I have an entire rant on twitter and then people wanted to see it so I’m gonna crosspost here too cause why not

(Note: includes spoilers for Major Grom and Plague Doctor comics, has nothing to do with the movie. It’s regarding what I strongly predict will happen in volume 8, which comes out next week)

(Second note: I’m gonna tag this with ‘long post’ even though it’s behind a cut for the sake of mobile users to go blacklist literally right now if they’re not interested cause I included the relevant comic panels and thus it’s LONG sdklsdklsdks)

Anyway: why Sergey must be the one to personally rescue Oleg in volume 8, from a narrative point of view

In order for Sergey and Oleg's relationship, regardless of how you want to define it, to move forward with positive momentum, this /must/ happen. The narrative demands it in order to bring closure. Why? Well, let's get into it by analyzing what we have so far

1) While I do fully believe Oleg trusts and forgives Sergey (and I’m not gonna go into proof of that here, as others have before), there is a constant spectre hanging over them. A spectre in the shape of 5 bullets. We are reminded constantly of it, largely in the form of Sergey's guilt, which is something we haven't gotten any real closure on yet. Sergey believes himself only capable of destruction, which is literally represented using a picture of him and Oleg.

The rift in their relationship is why Sergey doubts himself. The lasting physical effects bother him as well and we are all but beaten over the head with it - Sergey can't forget and neither can we, the audience. Oleg, too, has to live with this, even if he has made his peace with it

In fact, his long term injuries are what cause him to be captured in the first place. This situation, from a narrative pov, is thus Sergey's fault - if not for the 5 bullets, it's implied Oleg could've won. But no, he's captured and tortured, because of what Sergey did

What Oleg does or doesn't think of that is honestly irrelevant; the narrative is what's setting this up as a direct consequence. Also, whether or not Oleg has forgiven Sergey is also irrelevant because Sergey hasn't forgiven himself. This is what the story has presented and thus what it needs to conclude.

2) We are all also aware that Oleg has rescued Sergey more than once, even when it was ill-advised. The first time, sure, there's some risk, but it’s still in the range of manageable. But the second time? Not only was it more dangerous, given all that was going on in the immediate aftermath, he’s also risking himself to rescue someone who shot him 5 times. Oleg is cautious; he keeps Sergey in a cell presumably until he feels safe freeing him, but he still did it. He planned it, had that place ready, faked their deaths, all of it. He did that after the 5 bullets

So Sergey isn't lying when he tells Lera they don't leave their people behind. Oleg has been there for Sergey before, rescued him no matter the dangers, continues to stay by his side, and even cares enough to make sure he sleeps. Given this, how could Sergey not be ready and willing to return the favour?

3) Every outside character who knows anything about their relationship believes it to be imbalanced. The mercenary, Altan, Vadim, and even Lera. They all say this, they all point out the 5 bullets, that oh, Oleg, why does he stay?

While they don't have the insight us readers do, this tension is here for a reason, especially coupled with the previous two points. Even if we know better, the narrative is offering us a kernel of doubt. Does Sergey really care? Will he go as far for Oleg as Oleg has for him? Did he really mean those apologies? Or are the others right? Even Oleg, although I do think he's lying to protect Sergey, says he has doubts. Vadim seems certain Sergey will come, yet still calls Oleg “Mr. Stockholm Syndrome”.

The equality of their relationship is continually called into question - why do that if it's not going to be resolved? Why play this 'will he, won't he' game if he won't? Why set us up for disappointment? If Sergey doesn't go, all of this will remain unresolved and their relationship can only get worse, not better. The spectre will never leave them alone.

(One note here: I believe most of these perspectives are from unreliable narrators, given what details they give and that their accounts conflict with what we actually see. But these perspectives are included for a reason – imo, so that Sergey can prove them wrong)

4) The other thing the narrative tells us is that Sergey can be impulsive. Yes, he's brilliant, frighteningly so, but it's Oleg that is constantly urging caution. Sergey is aware there are risks, yet he forges ahead anyway, restrained (sometimes) only by Oleg's advice.

Why would that change now? If anything, with how distressed Sergey seems to be, I'd argue he'd be even /more/ impulsive than usual because he's too emotional to think right.

And who's going to urge caution, if not Oleg? Lera? I doubt he would listen if she did and, to be frank, why would she care if Sergey gets hurt? She knows him primarily as the one forcing her into a situation that is having serious negative effects on her life. Her secondary knowledge is that he's a murderer and terrorist. Much as it's fun to think of them all having a friendly relationship, Plague Daughter and all that, that’s not where they are right now. She might from a logical point of view, just because it is very obviously a trap, but Sergey knows that - her saying it isn't going to convince him of anything. Even if she did try, I don't think it'd have any effect.

5) And lastly, Lera is absolutely not ready for this fight. This isn't some regular asshole on the streets; Vadim is a professional killer. He beat Oleg in a fight and, even with his injuries, we all saw the kitchen fight. We know what Oleg is capable of. I love Lera with my whole being and she is a badass, but she's not ready for this. She had trouble with Kamenny, who honestly may have let her win under Altan's instructions.

Even still, Vadim is MUCH better and, much as Altan wants PD alive, I don't think he much cares in what condition. Best case scenario is that Lera gets captured too, and Vadim likely wouldn't hesitate to kill her, and then Sergey has to go himself anyway. Lera may come to help, but Sergey needs to be there. If Sergey really is better than Oleg at present, he's the one who needs to fight Vadim (with a plan, obviously, and maybe some extra backup).

In conclusion, all of this comes together to say one thing: Sergey needs to go. He needs to prove to himself, to the audience, and most of all to the narrative that no, this relationship isn’t one-sided, and that he will go as far for Oleg as Oleg has gone for him. The narrative made this a big point of tension, insisted upon it, beat us over the head with it, and now has teased at Sergey’s opportunity to put up or shut up. It has to be Sergey, both practically because Lera isn’t ready yet, and in order to be a satisfying story. Because if he doesn’t, that tension isn’t resolved. His guilt will only grow after failing Oleg once again, despite Oleg sticking with him through everything, and it would have been by his own choice, not because of the Bird’s influence or anyone else. He will know it. Oleg will know it. We will know it. And their relationship can only sour from there. There will be no more possibility for positive momentum, only negative.

As a last point, I will also say that I’m aware my anxieties may be unfounded. These creators do seem to legitimately care about these characters, telling a good story, and satisfying the audience. But I’ve been burned by pieces of media where that is not the case, so it’s hard for me to trust and not doubt, even with creators who have, so far, not let me down lmao.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my tedtalk, I’m sure I missed something I would’ve liked to add but holy shit this is absurdly long already sdklsdklsk so uh bye ✌️

[ackerfics]

hi! i don’t know if you’re taking requests but if you are would you be interested in a soulmate au with mikasa. i adore soulmates au a lot! mikasa x fem!reader (aot cast reincarnated into the modern world and they get to have a happy and not stressful life)

she is half of my soul, as the poets say  — mikasa ackerman

— mikasa ackerman x female reader (soulmate au)

— warnings: none, just fluff

— summary: you finally found each other.

— word count: 3.2k

— author’s notes: thank you so much for the request !! i hope you enjoy reading this because i had a blast putting this all together. plus, i couldn't help but place a quote from 'the song of achilles' bc that was a masterpiece.

Underwater.

Your surroundings were submerged in the depths of the ocean to you.

The professor in front of the lecture hall continued his lesson in a cacophony of white noise. The occasional flipping of textbooks and the clacking of the keyboard droned, a majority of the students tried taking down what the middle-aged man was reciting. You should be doing those, too, but there was something about your day that made you want to skip class and bury yourself in a mound of blankets. The air-conditioning wasn’t helping at all, it just made you drift away, even more, images of flying people and humanoid giants flickering through your mind. Even your vision was becoming blurry as you stared at the seat in front of you, not noticing how your Ethics professor dismissed your class with a reminder of the paper that was due the following week. You were still seated as most of the students stood up, eager to spend the rest of their day inside their dormitories and apartments.

“[Name].” Somebody called out to you but the raw feeling of swinging in midair acted like a bubble, keeping you from going back to reality. The voice groaned in frustration at your lack of response. “Earth to [Name]! Hey, wake up!”

You shook out of your stupor with a blink, turning your head slowly at the person waiting for you. You took in her casual attire, so different from the daydream you were in. At first, you didn’t know about your whereabouts, making you look around the lecture hall — empty except for the two of you and the professor at front. The feeling of confusion once again dominated your sound mind as you breathed out, “Where am I? I thought I was just outside in this desert and I was surrounded by people who were crying like they were a hopeless case. Then there was someone screaming my name, saying they wouldn’t let me go.”

The person pursed their lips, concerned and slightly creeped out at the nonsense coming out of your mouth. There weren’t any deserts near you right now because you two were in the middle of the city, inside a university. The way you phrased those words sounded like a plot from an apocalyptic movie you were bound to binge during academic breaks. There were accounts scattered around the internet about reincarnation that the person drank in the early hours of dawn when they couldn’t go to sleep but witnessing it in front of them, was another whole level of conspiracy theories. A hand was planted on your shoulder, your friend smiling sympathetically at you, knowing that you sometimes have these episodes inside your shared apartment. The look you gave them was enough to erase the wariness bubbling in your friend’s stomach, which spurred them to gather your things and placing them inside your backpack. Your friend worked in silence, however, they were aware of the stare you never took off from the side of their head.

“In case you don’t remember me,” your friend looked up at you with a twinkle of mischief in their irises, “I’m Hitch and I’m your roommate.” She was speaking to you as if you were a toddler, something that made annoyance tickle your chest.

“Hitch?” You mumbled, looking down on your lap for a solid minute until you gasped out loud, the sound echoing inside the lecture hall without any warning. The professor looked up from his seat, glare already in place at the disruption you caused. You buried your face in your hands, face erupting in hues of red because of the embarrassment creeping in your throat. “Oh, my God, don’t tell me I did it again.”

Hitch nodded with a shrug. “I mean, I’m used to your episodes but it always amazed me how you wake up from them all disoriented.” Finishing with her task of tidying your bag, she pulled on your arm. “I think I should record whatever you say next time, this could be my viral moment.” When you gave her a dry glare, she laughed. “Oh, come on, think of the possibilities! But pushing that aside, let’s have dinner first.”

“Hitch, it’s only four in the afternoon.”

She scoffed lightheartedly. “We can always have a midnight snack later. Right now, I’m craving something savory.” The two of you went outside the lecture hall’s door, not missing the look of relief from your Ethics professor as you linked your arm with Hitch’s. She turned to you expectantly. “Any ideas for dinner, bub?”

There was a churning feeling inside your stomach, very much like those life-and-death situations during exams where you rely on your gut for the correct answer if the test includes multiple-choice questions. This time, instead of the nagging voice telling you to encircle the first choice, your gut was telling you to head to the café near your university. Aside from their famous coffee blends and teas (the latter being one of their specialties), the café houses a variety of dishes in its menu, which doesn’t make them a café anymore but the owner still insisted that they’ll be known as that establishment. It was more of a restaurant than your regular coffee shop, making it a hit among the students in the University of Eldia, where a majority of the student body was either caffeine-dependent or reliant on fast food take-outs. The quaint café owned by Levi Ackerman was the perfect solution to yours and Hitch’s grumbling stomachs. 

“How about the café just outside of uni?” You suggested, hoping that Hitch will consider the idea.

The said girl hummed, a finger placed on her chin. “The one owned by that grumpy short-stack?” 

“Hey, that’s rude.”

Hitch shrugged without care, hoisting her tote bag up to her shoulder. “Even his cousin calls him that, you know?” At your raised eyebrow, all Hitch could do was laugh at your adorable, clueless expression. Between the two of you, the light-haired girl was the social butterfly in your friendship and you wouldn’t be surprised if she even had an inkling of the gossips happening around your year level. 

“Relax, his cousin is a good person (that is if she doesn’t kill you with her blank stare), along with their little friendship circle. I must say, all of them look so adorable. You remember Annie, right?” She continued when she saw you nod, the mention of the blonde made you remember your time when the three of you shared your apartment. It was a good kind of chaotic, the three of you balancing out each other’s personalities. Annie was always the indifferent one, Hitch the most sociable, and you being the mediator of the two. “She’s dating one of Mikasa’s friends, Armin. Mikasa is the cousin, by the way, and I can clearly see the resemblance between her and the café’s owner. With the permanent scowl and all.”

“Uh-huh.”

You didn’t know what to do with the information so you only hummed and nodded your head every time Hitch spewed out a couple of trivia involving people you have heard down the hallways or being called during roll-calls. She even told you how one of Mikasa’s friends, Sasha Braus, was reprimanded for eating inside the class of an infamous terror teacher, which landed the girl on that professor’s blacklist. The girl, Sasha, was actually in one of your classes but you never really talked to her, all of your attention poured out into absorbing what the teacher relayed in the class. All of Hitch's ramblings spanned the entirety of your walk to the café — a talent your roommate has that amazed you every time it happened. 

The smell of cinnamon greeted you once you stepped inside the café, the homey decorations making your heart warm in an instant. There were a couple of college students in separate tables, all of them draping their textbooks and readings in front of them, headphones plugged in despite the soothing background music brought by the café’s speakers. Now that you mention it in your head, midterms were coming up in a month and you hadn’t started organizing your revisions. As your mind was filled with the scent of flowers and coffee, Hitch tugged on the sleeves of your blouse, your light-haired friend wordlessly gesturing her head towards one of the empty tables overlooking the window showing the small garden beside the café. You nodded and flashed a thumbs-up, already knowing what Hitch’s order is the number of times she went home with take-outs from this establishment.

Thinking that you should order something for a change, you looked up at the menu board above the counter. With your order listed in your mind, you faced the person manning the counter, ready to relay your order to her. What greeted you, though, wasn’t a smiling cashier, instead, wide gray eyes stared at you with a slacked jaw — irises flecked with an emotion that sent your heart lurching inside your chest. She was a tall girl with muscles in the right places, black hair styled in a pixie cut that made you appreciate her features more. You faintly recalled that she was in one of your majors, which should explain the air of familiarity surrounding her. Her hands on the small notepad hovered over the current lilac paper, her posture rod straight as her breath hitched while staring into you. You weren’t sure what made her react like that so you slightly tilted your head back to look at the booths behind you. Hitch caught your eyes, raising her eyebrow in a silent question. Facing the counter attendant again, you were shocked to see that star-like tears were decorating her eyelashes, chapped lips wobbly. 

It felt like you’ve seen that expression too many times but you were sure this was the first time you saw her face to face.

“Oi, Mikasa, why are you stalling?” A short black-haired man entered the space behind the counter, arms crossed and gaze questioning as he took in the breaking form of his employee. “It’s been a full minute and you still didn’t take the customer’s order.” 

“Can I stay in the breakroom for a while?”

Your breath was taken away at the sound of her voice. It sounded like all four seasons were present in the soft-spoken tone she carried, very different from her tough physical appearance. You were left staring at her back, chest nearly bursting open because of how fast your heart pounded just from that sentence. Images of late-night trysts played in your head; of secret kisses that created an ocean of emotions inside you; of eyes looking at each other with tendrils of hope before the gates open, death beckoning you in its arms; of desperate promises, neither person could ever keep. All of them were so familiar and nostalgic that a swarm of butterflies was starting to infest your ribs and chest, sprouting flowers that clogged your throat from speaking. 

Levi glanced at you, eyes analyzing your form with a hint of concern for his relative and wondering what made Mikasa act like that. “Sure, go ahead, brat, your friends are at the back. Hello, ma’am, I’ll be taking your order.”

“Oh, sure,” you murmured before beginning to list down the food you and Hitch will be indulging in, eyes curiously staring at the girl going inside the breakroom. “Uhm, is she going to be alright?” You tried asking Levi, who only looked at you with a raised eyebrow. “It looks like she had a fright here.”

“It’s the first time I saw her in that state, to be honest,” Levi simply answered, with no room for other discussions. “Your drinks will be served shortly.” He gave you a small gadget, his pointer finger pushing a button on the device, making it light up in a blinding red. “Once your drinks are ready, this will light up and you can get it here on the counter. Thank you for your patronage.”

“Thank you, too.”

It was only when you seated yourself in front of Hitch that you realized Mikasa’s voice sounded like the one always shouting your name in your daydreams, failing to keep the promise of never letting you go.

-

Mikasa was a mess.

First, before waking up for her 7 A.M. class one autumn day, she was haunted by the memories of her previous life (or this is what Armin told her, with him also remembering being born again from a different timeline, another universe altogether rather). In that more outdated version of this world, they were on the constant grapple with these beings called Titans. Her dreams became more complex the more time passed by as these Titans disappeared, replacing with it a looming war between two countries. Her daydreams always resulted in tear-stained cheeks, eyes then finding her best friend who started a mass genocide in their previous lives, Eren. When Mikasa remembered that part of her last life, she would often find herself staring deeply at the side of Eren’s head, resulting in the brown-haired man complaining about her soulless eyes. It looked like Eren didn’t remember it, which nearly drove Mikasa mad. 

Until that day Eren came up to her after a three-hour lecture, all haggard with his man-bun in disarray, and shouting, “I’m so sorry for laughing at you, Mikasa! I had a dream during a lecture of those titan things you and Armin are talking about. I believe you!”

Second, the warmth of somebody was a constant in balancing out the horrors of her daydreams. Among the carnage, a body fitting against hers with the morning rays passing through the slit of the windows was a sight she didn’t want to wake up from. Threads of soft hair tickled her cheek, making way for an unforgettable shade of irises that she compared to the crystals they found underneath the Reiss estate. A smile so vibrant that it paled in comparison to the blue expanse of unknown waters they saw after killing all the Titans in Paradis. The smell of freshly picked flowers lingered in the air, acting like the comforting blanket Mikasa had when she was young. At first, she couldn’t see the face of the person but as the episodes became more vivid, Mikasa finally saw the woman of her dreams. 

Pulchritudinous — that’s what you are.

After that encounter with you in the café, Mikasa immediately talked everything out with her two friends.

“So you’re saying that you kind of knew her but you don’t?” Eren pointed out after a spoonful of ice cream. “This is some conspiracy theory shit right here.”

“Eren,” Armin sighed. “This is not one of those videos you watch at 3 A.M., okay?” The blonde glanced at the last member of their little trio, who was pacing in front of them with a queasy expression on her face. “Mikasa, I know you feel like you’re in a pinch but please calm down.”

Eren leaned forward and took a spoonful of ice cream from the tub on the low table. “It’s no use, Armin. You know Mikasa.” He nodded his head towards the said girl. “Once she enters that state, we can’t do anything about it.”

“I know,” Armin trailed off, dejected.

Mikasa buried her hands through her hair. “This was so unexpected.”

“Clearly,” Eren dryly stated.

The blue-eyed boy beside him instantly hit the back of his head. “Eren!”

Mikasa stopped pacing, not hearing how Eren exclaimed ‘finally’, her face and neck erupting in a warm shade of red that made her two friends exchange a concerned glance. Placing a hand on her pounding chest, she murmured with half-lidded eyes, “She’s much more beautiful than my dreams depicted her to be.”

Armin breathed out a silent ‘oh’ while Eren snickered, “Great, she turned into a simp,” to which the former slapped another hand at the back of the green-eyed boy’s head.

“That explains it,” the black-haired girl exclaimed. “There were times where a voice inside my head tells me to be at this specific place at a specific time.” (“I’m concerned,” Eren stage-whispered to Armin.) “While applying for this university, I had a feeling that I should take up medical sciences. Every time I’m at the campus, I will always find myself in the library after five o’clock and there are instances that I would search the tables. And you guys know how I hate helping Levi in the café.” Eren and Armin nodded as if they were children. “I just realized that she was always there, I can see her now. Why did I miss her when all this time, I was meant to find her? And now that she’s finally in the café right when I told Levi that I felt like helping the shop, I ran away! I’m such an idiot!” Mikasa then sunk on one of the plush chairs, her groans mingling with the gloomy atmosphere she created.

“You’re not an idiot, Mikasa,” Armin told her, to which she replied with an aggravated groan.

“Yeah, you’re not an idiot, you’re just having a gay panic moment,” Eren casually announced. Both of his friends slowly turned their heads toward him. He stared right back, blinking as he shrugged. “You have to admit, I’m not wrong.”

“You’re not helping right now.”

“I’m just stating a fact, Armin!”

The blonde boy rolled his eyes. “So what are you going to do about this, Mikasa?”

“About Eren?”

“No,” Armin shook his head. “Eren will be fine with his two brain cells.”

“Hey, I’m right here.”

Armin rolled his eyes and fixed his gaze on his gray-eyed best friend. “So are you going to tell [Name] that you two are star-crossed lovers pre-destined since your previous lives?”

The confidence she gained the day before during that conversation with her childhood friends dissipated as Mikasa awkwardly stood in the middle of the university’s library, eyes widely staring at you, who was browsing the shelves for the reference material for your papers. She didn’t expect to meet you this suddenly. All she was supposed to do was borrow a reference material and there she realized that the two of you share the same major so most of your schedule line up with one another — the both of you share a free period. Almost as if you were surrounded by a magnetic field, Mikasa went in your direction, her heart matching her footsteps. Meters became feet as she looked at your captivating figure. Even with a shirt tucked inside a pair of jeans, you are still the most beautiful girl inside the library. 

And as you lifted your gaze, your glinting irises meeting her gray ones, Mikasa swore her orbit was waiting for this moment to be tilted to you.

Tears were immediately present in your eyes when she stood in front of you, it was as if you remembered her.

“Hey,” Mikasa breathed shakily, hands gripping the strap of her backpack.

“Hey, starlight.”

That nickname. The one you blurted out when Mikasa invited you stargazing in the meadow beside the Survey Corps Headquarters. You said it suited her because her eyes reminded you of the glow of the stars forming a canopy above you. But for her, you were brighter than any star in the sky, you were an entire cosmos altogether. “You became a part of me the moment I laid my eyes on you in our town. Right then and there — wherever you go, I’ll go. Because I know, I’m a part of you as well.”

“You finally found me.”

You are half of her soul, as the poets say, and the Fates will do everything in their power that it stays like that for eternity.