#in an evil little powerpoint

[moonshynecybin]

REPORTER MARC AU???? ohhh it's so good. marc maybe never having met vale. or maybe only as a child. writing almost mythical articles about him. vale who he always wanted to be but failed. they see each other in a debrief and the TENSION is thick and they fuck obv (hero worship + vale has read all his hero worship) but then sepang 2015 happens (um. vale takes something marc wrote as a slight and openly slanders him + ruins his reputation?? not sure). and marc of course still has to write abt vale bc it's his job but. now there's a sharp undercurrent of bitterness? he knows him so well he knows how to get under his skin. and of course vale HATES being known by the media he is always putting on a mask but. marc knows him.

so crazy… and like i think, here the tension isn’t derived from racing competition it’s derived from vale’s insane relationship to fame and the media. like him putting up so much of a mask only for a member of the PRESS to be the one who can see right through him… marc coping with a lot of weird wistful feeling about not being able to ride… career ending too soon but also being JUST like vale concerning competition so he has insane insight… and vale wanting to be vulnerable with marc but being categorically unable to because he’s a JOURNALIST. forgetting himself and then self policing about it…

like. okay so marc has to stop racing sometime in his teens due to (unintelligible health reasons) so he straps on his psycho ambitious little intensely practical brain and goes okay. i will become the best racing journalist to ever live. he understands how to ride he understands the mindset he WAS going to be the next valentino rossi and now well. at least he can interview him. so marc gets a press pass and immediately rocks up to the paddock and uh. charms vale a little. hot smart but not a competitive threat. vale likes him ! marc’s questions aren’t stupid but ARE fun so vale plays ball… and they become sort of friends and flirt a little through the first years… BIG tell all interview at the end of marc’s first season that gives him SO much more credibility as a journalist… like they never quite make a move on each other because vale will NOT risk any sort of gay affair involvement with a JOURNO but they are in love. like obviously. making eye contact with each other in presscons it’s very sweet. everytime marc drops a piece everyone is like wow this is the best and most revealing vale interview in years :) and eventually, vale is like. uh oh ! oh no ! like he did not mean to share his secrets to this twink reporter he just. love his ass unfortunately

and maybe after that they fuck ONCE . just to “get it out of his system” and then it DOESNT go away and vale freaks out. pulls away goes cold clams up in press scrums… but all the while marc’s low empathy career obsessed ass writing such beautiful articles about vale (and so horny lbr). and they’re SO intimate and comfortable and frankly getting a little too close to the beating lurid heart of him… marc is seeing. he is perceiving. he is spinning it out onto the page beautifully because that is his JOB… and after they fuck and there little too much wanting on both sides. and vale shuts him out HARD. but marc (now heartbroken. framed photo of vale and him on his first day with press access in his office) is still writing those insane articles… pissed that vale is fucking with his career so he’s going even HARDER now… and vale hates being seen but also can’t get over that marc sees him. that he understands him. insane emotional experience… like what if you wanted to be seen so badly but also we’re so so scared of it when it actually happens because of your fame trauma….

[raccooncityriots]

Honestly, part of me is considering getting a business degree just because those are my favorite professors at the university lol

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

──── PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE . ↳ one shot // also part of the no doubt series !

✎ᝰ .ᐟ aka jake's love language is physical affection, words of affirmation...& mild desperation.

── sim jaeyun x f!reader ౨ৎ wc. 880 ⌗ comfort, fluff, skinship, slice of life!, kissing (making out?), they're deeply in love my honor </3 (also jake is literally just a freaking loser in this one it's actually almost sad but we love loser!jake in this household so .)

↳ IMPORTANT NOTE .ᐟ ── this is part of my no doubt series ─ a sequel series of short drabbles that take place after the events of my fic no doubt, and show jake & reader's relationship throughout their first year together (& how jake wins her trust & love back hehe) ── THIS CAN BE READ AS A ONE-SHOT, however, there will be some easter eggs if you've read no doubt before!

↳ addie's ✉ .ᐟ ── EVERYONE . there's only two official parts left of this series...IM EMOTIONAL dont play with me rn ... can't believe we're almost at the end...but i do have a few requests for jakeyn in my inbox that i will definitely get to! so stay tuned for those hehe :D

Like always—it’s late.

Jake had begged you to watch Star Wars with him for movie night, and the result?

Here you are:

Three movies in.

One YouTube theory video later.

And freshly done giving a very dramatic, very passionate speech on why he absolutely does not need to make a PowerPoint explaining the lore to you.

Long story short: it’s stupidly late.

You’re stupidly tired.

And you’re 98% sure going to dream about baby Yoda and Kylo Ren at this point.

Oh, well. Whatever makes him happy, you guess.

The bedroom is quiet, save for the sound of your breathing trying to settle and the occasional shuffle Jake makes whenever he tugs you closer to him every time you shift in your spot. His arm wraps lazily around your waist, his legs tangled with your own under the ridiculous mountain of blankets you insist on sleeping with (and yet he never complains about), and his face is buried somewhere in your hair, his lips smushed warm against your temple.

It’s warm. It’s tight. It’s a little suffocating.

It’s perfect.

You let out a quiet sigh—soft, sleepy, content—your hand moving up to rest against Jake’s chest as you tuck your head further into the crook of his neck.

“Goodnight, pretty,” Jake whispers, voice low and soft, barely brushing your skin. His fingers comb through your hair absentmindedly, his familiar touch yet leaving a trail of goosebumps every time you feel him. “I love you.”

You smile.

You always do—especially when he says it like that.

Soft, cracked at the edges. Carrying all his emotions and spilling them into those three simple words for you—only for you.

“Mmm,” you hum, sleepily teasing, burrowing deeper into him without answering.

Jake pauses.

You feel his arms tighten around you. His head lifts. His breath hitches.

“Y/N,” he whines, so small and so broken you nearly start laughing into his shirt. “You can’t do that. You can’t not say it back. That’s so evil…you have to say it too.”

He’s fidgeting now, his hand frantically smoothing down your arm like it’ll somehow get the words out of you, “Baby, seriously—I’m not letting you fall asleep without hearing it. Please. Y/N.”

His voice is higher now. The sweet mix of desperation and affection. You swear he might cry.

Or make a PowerPoint.

You pull back just enough to look at him, a smirk on your face and his own expression too pitiful to ignore—eyes wide, pleading, his lips in a pout, and what you swear is a little spark of panic in his eyes.

“Oh my god,” you giggle. “You’re so whipped, Jakey.”

Your fingers reach up to cup his face as you pull up slightly just to get a better look at him. His pout only deepens, and you let out another laugh.

“No, no, baby,” he insists, shaking his head as your thumb brushes his cheek. “I’m not joking. Say it. Just once. Please.”

And then his arms curl tighter around you again, as if holding on for his dear life. And it’s so Jake—the voice, the pout, the way he can’t stand the idea of not hearing you say it back, as if you haven’t said it a million times before.

So completely dorky. So utterly pathetic.

And it makes your heart thump a little harder.

You pretend to think for a second. And then—

“I love you, Jake.”

The words will always slip from your mouth as naturally as breathing.

Soft, warm, and entirely his.

His face instantly lights up, his eyes widening just a little, and you’d think you’d just given him the world (and frankly—you did).

And before you can even process—

Jake immediately pulls you into him, his lips crashing into yours with an intensity that’s almost too much for an easy goodnight kiss.

You giggle against his lips, grabbing onto his shirt for balance, but he’s not having it. He moves his hands to cup your face, desperately holding onto you like he’s going to open his eyes and watch you disappear in an instant.

“Say it again,” his pants, voice a little breathless now, already kissing you again. “Please, please, please—say it again.”

You let out another laugh, pulling back to see how he looks at you with those soft, lovestruck eyes, how his voice is so heartfelt, how he holds you like he can’t get enough of you.

“I love you,” you whisper again. Slow and soft—only meant for him.

He lets out a soft groan before his hand slips to the back of your neck as he kisses you again. Slower this time, more gently—as if savoring this moment.

“I’m so in love with you,” he mutters against your lips, his voice thick with emotion as he finally stops to rest his forehead against yours.

“You’re so dumb,” you whisper, smiling as you kiss him again, quick and so full of love.

“I’m not dumb,” he protests. Another kiss.

“Okay…you’re so whipped,” you tease again, your fingers brushing through his hair as he looks at you with that stupid, goofy smile that you can’t resist.

Jake grins, his eyes crinkling, his hand back to rubbing slow circles on your hip as he holds you impossibly close.

“That I am. And I’m never going to stop.”

<< past || no doubt m. list || next >>

tag list! (open ! // bolded couldn't be added!)

@bluxjun @ki2rins @why-did-i-just-do-this @favoritten @lovialymisc @xylatox @vivimura @leehsngs @puma-riki @lezzleeferguson-120 @enhaprettystars @laurradoesloveu @sievenderz @somuchdard @kristynaah @hinryh @ltfirecracker @lov4hoon @taeheexx @niyzu @chunkzdeluluwife @jakeflvrz @fangirl125reader @0429jw @dreamy-carat @yuons @thestarinstarbucks @miszes @llearlert @ppeachyttae @hoomin10 @teddybeartaetae @tanisha2060 @therealmrsbahng @beomgyu-bears @ikeulove @jiyeons-closet @youngheejay @wxnderingthoughts @fuevrois @soobundle1009 @isoobie @enhypenova @zoemeltigloos @lizdevorak @deluluscenarios @bloomiize @hasuyv @ijustwannareadstuff20 @veilstqr @dreamiestay @jakeyyyjakexoxo

[twistedpink]

SOBBING at the thought of Azul as a father 🥹🥹🥹p not the part of "hell yeah we tried forever to have this kid thrust thrust" but how would he and reader form this family, like omg taking care of the kids ❤️ i want to sit on the couch with azul beside me while holding our baby 🍼

I’ve been thinking of this for WEEKS. You’ve ruined me. @bju3c0re (kids are referred to as “they”, reader is gn but heavily implied afab)(Azul could always be the mother lol)

Husband!Azul’s a MESS in the delivery room every time. To the point where he’s getting ice chips,, Of course there’s nobody blaming him for getting a little sweaty over a BABY coming into the world, but there’s always a doctor who assumes it’s your first :( It’s not earth shattering to be dissected by the hospital staff because they’re on his payroll, but if his baby jitters got out to the twins? I’m sure you’d be seeing a lot more of them!! The tweels loooovvveeee the babies, and they’ll never miss an opportunity to poke at their wittle faces- or Azul’s fragile confidence as a dad <3

Husband!Azul just can’t stop calling you what the kids do,, It’s not like he means to, he’s just got baby brain!!! Your big bad business hubby dies a little (lot) on the inside when he uses toddler lingo on official powerpoints, but it’s all a part of your evil plan to get a stay at home dad in the picture >:) He’s loathe to admit it, but cooking for you in his frilly apron and skimpy shorts isn’t sounding terrible when it’s time to review his budget forms,,, Its only a matter of time!!

No matter how many you end up having, husband!Azul always wants another baby :( As an only child the rare family photos he sees feel so empty without other sets of kiddie tentacles- nevermind how much his parents are insisting on a team of trust fund babies,, His mum took up knitting for them, and you love her more than him! Are you really going to cut her off before she masters mittens? Besides, Think of the discounts!! Your poor first born’s getting shoved in the face of every shopkeep who’s willing to listen, and with a baby giggle that cute, it’s all of them.

Husband!Azul’s a MEGA hot dad tm but it’s so hard to make him believe it :( The pepper stubble he’s got going on and arm definition from carrying the kids around is to KILL for, but at every family photoshoot he offers to take the picture,, It ticks you off to no end that he’s trying to hide away from cameras again. so what else were you supposed to do other than kiss him stupid and get it done? The kids look like they’ll hurl any second now, but sitting pretty on the same bench every year is Azul covered in kisses.. It’s worth every penny!!

Husband!Azul is completely, irrevocably obsessed with you and the little family you’ve made,, He never thought him of all people could find a love so gentle. And yeah, maybe he gets a little controlling with the kids once in a blue moon, but he wants nothing more than good lives for them.. Better than his, at the very least. But above all else, he’s holding out for them to find their own you, because he’s already antsy for grandkids!!

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[the-most-humble-blog]

🛐 HOBBIT INTEL REPORT — ADDENDUM: WHEN FRODO HEARD THE CALL, HE DIDN’T HESITATE.

Let me make something brutally clear while I still got breath in my lungs and this vision of Frodo pacing the damn horizon stuck in my frontal cortex like a flashbang flashback:

You still don’t get it.

Y’all keep reducing Middle-Earth’s most efficient kill squad to tea drinkers and pipe-hitters in waistcoats.

“Oh but they had Gandalf the White—”

Shut up.

That wizard was the alarm clock. The Hobbits were the goddamn fire.

⚔️ Sauron Didn’t Avoid the Shire Because It Was "Too Cute" — He Avoided It Because Even Evil Knows Better.

You think orcs ever invaded the Shire? No.

They redirected. They took the long way. They looked at that quiet little farmland full of laughing curly-haired midgets and said,

“Nah. That’s a trap. That’s death by teacup.”

And they were right.

💣 Sauron was waiting until he hit 100% power just to think about pulling up.

Because deep down he knew…

“If I step into that high-grass paradise before I’m fully charged, I’m not coming back. I’ll end up flipping omelets for Rosie Cotton’s daycare while Frodo critiques my seasoning.”

🔥 Frodo didn’t "accept the mission." He saw the smoke and got his walking stick.

No briefing. No rousing speech. No PowerPoint from Elrond.

Just:

“Sam. Grab the pans. Get the rope. We march at dawn. We’ll be back by the harvest.”

That wasn’t a quest. That was a cleanup job.

🧠 You want to understand Hobbit psychology?

They didn’t fear Mordor. They didn’t respect Mordor. They just clocked it in, like an unpaid internship from hell.

“What’s the mission?” “Escort Satan’s wedding ring into his house and toss it in his fireplace.” “Cool. Pack a lunch.”

🩸 Y’all keep forgetting Frodo wasn’t alone.

There were hundreds of them back in the Shire. Hundreds of stone-faced tea-guzzling assassins who could’ve taken his place.

Every Bilbo was just a Frodo in retirement. Every Frodo was just a Sam in waiting. Every Sam was just a Rosé-holding, full-strength tank with a trowel and trauma-based loyalty issues.

🧤 They didn’t need Gandalf to lead.

They let him think he was leading. Let the tall folks feel important. All the while knowing:

“He’s useful. But if he falls, we keep walking. The job’s the job.”

🏔️ And when Frodo said “Mount Doom,” Sam didn’t ask “why?” — he asked, “when?”

No knightly codes. No sacred scrolls. Just:

“I made bread. I packed extra. Let's go.”

🧬 Here’s the truth:

Hobbits didn’t win because they were brave.

They won because they were unbothered. Unimpressed. Undeterrable.

You ever try to tempt a man who already had everything he wanted before the journey began? That’s who Frodo was. That’s who Sam was.

The Shire wasn’t just their home. It was their origin point. Their why. Their endgame.

That’s why they were dangerous. Because they weren’t chasing glory. They were just out handling problems so the party back home wouldn’t get delayed.

🛑 BOTTOM LINE:

You can mock their size. Laugh at the cloaks. Disrespect the bare feet.

But if one ever steps toward you with purpose in his eyes?

It’s already too late.

🍷 FIELD-TOAST STATUS: RAISED

To Frodo, who walked into Hell with a limp and a lantern. To Sam, who would’ve carried the mountain if he had to. To the Shire, where legends are born barefoot and return home full.

To the Hobbits. The smallest gods Middle-Earth ever feared.

⚔️ CALL TO ACTION:

🔁 Reblog this if your soul answers to old magic and small warriors.

🧠 Save it if you know true strength walks quietly.

📜 Send this to someone who still underestimates the soft-spoken.

Or simply:

🩸 Reblog to confirm you would’ve followed Frodo into the fire too.

⚖️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This is not satire. This is not fanfiction. This is Blacksite Literature™: Weaponized cadence. Mythopoeic trauma therapy. Historical reframing through blood-soaked reverence.

If you're confused: You weren’t meant to survive this post.

Check out the below record-breaking post for more:

🛐 SHOUT OUT TO THE HOBBITS, YO

[yellowocaballero]

i very much enjoy the extremely scientific analysis of the naruto verse in which there are three genders, aka naruto, sasuke, and Woman.

AM I WRONG? AM I WRONG? pulls down projection screen and plays powerpoint

Obviously let's give room for nuance. A ton of Naruto characters don't fall into these gender norms. This does predominantly apply to the rampant proliferation of the three-person dynamics that were assigned by the government and dictate your entire life. And, like, society. It does not end. Gender isn't a biological factor in Naruto, it's a social dynamic constructed entirely by your homoerotic tension with other men. And there are so many.

Madara (S), Hashirama (N), Mito (W). Izuna (N) and Tobirama (S) - tragically, Izuna died before women could be invented. Sarutobi (N), Danzo (S, horrifically) - see above about women not being invented yet. Jiraiya (N), Orochimaru (S), Tsunade (W). Yahiko (N), Nagato (S), Konan (W). Obito (N), Kakashi (S), Rin (W). Shisui (N), Itachi (S), that little deeply unimportant girlfriend (W). Um, fucking, Naruto (N), Sasuke (S), Sakura (W). Even - even, fuckin, Rock Lee (N), Neiji (S), Tenten (W).

And what do they all have in common????

(OT3. They're all OT3s. Is what I'm saying).

There is some room for alternative gender expressions here, like being butch or femme. Naruto gender expressions: teacher, otouto, woman who you can't even tell is woman gendered because she has no backstory but you just have to kinda assume that she has a polycule-based backstory where she was Woman Gender. I feel almost as if 2/3rds of the Rookie 9 are liberated from this. InoShikaCho just doesn't fit (their chaotic cousin energy is just too strong and Ino's too much of a lesbian). Hinata's too busy being defined entirely by a different throuple's N to have codependent dynamics with her own N and S (and I'm hesitant to even say that, since I actually don't know if Kiba and Shino have a codependent rivalry - do they?).

I get, like, the reason for all of this. Curse of Hatred. Cycles. N and S Genders being sourced from demigods or something. Narrative parallelism. Sympathy points. It's not the bad guy's fault he's evil, his N and W gendered counterparts died :(. But an extremely strange side-effect of this is that all of the male characters are, like, Just Naruto or Just Sasuke. But the vast majority of the female characters are - like, completely defined by the men in their lives - but also they are more likely to be a unique person. Mito, Sakura, and Rin have actually nothing in common. Writing so sexist it creates more interesting characters?!?!

Unironically, this is why I'm always saying that Sasunaru is the ship of all time, nothing will ever top it, you will NEVER do it like Sasunaru, etc. Every important relationship in the series is meant to evoke Sasunaru. (Notably, none of the explicitly romantic ones. But we're beyond such paltry understandings of the most iconic pairing of all time as fundamentally based in romance. We're operating on a higher level than that). This unbroken chain of toxic yaoi has culminated at the end point of Sasunaru, and it exists to parallel Sasunaru and define their relationship by the dysfunction of generations of tragedy. That's why Naruto has to consciously break the cycle and free them from the generational hate - it was the only way to save Sasuke. This is also why I'm always saying that Sasunaru is the point of Naruto, and that the entirety of Naruto is about Sasunaru. Come back to me when your work has invented new genders in the all-encompassing pursuit of toxic yaoi.

This also means that the only truly gender non-conforming individuals in Naruto are its mightiest heterosexuals: Minato (W) and Kushina (N). Truly insane. The N/S/W configuration is the societal norm, it's bonkers to make a major good-aligned male character a wifeguy. By Naruto standards Minato and Kushina are the only queer couple.

[pricechecktranslations]

this may be a bit of a weird request, but i'm throwing a powerpoint presentation with my friends and i decided to do it about vocaloid's seven sins saga, but then i realized there's much more to it than i thought. i read your Evillious world and history explanation and i found it very well written and clear, so i was wondering if youd be willing to do the same with the plot of each one of the seven main songs? because im having some trouble getting the story right. thank you so much in advance!

Since you're specifically asking about the songs instead of the novels based on them, I'll try to avoid any major spoilers exclusively from the book plots in my summarizing (but I will be supplementing with some of the worldbuilding info from them). So just note that there's WAY more to each of these stories than what I'm sharing here, and many of them have plot twists that you wouldn't see coming from the songs alone.

As a quick note--I am going to write these in chronological order so you can get a feel for the timeline (most of them take place at least 100-200 years after the previous one), but as I've stated elsewhere the Daughter of Evil series comes first in narrative order and the novels are best read that way (ex, the Lunacy of Duke Venomania novel starts with assuming that the reader is already familiar with a lot of concepts from the DoE novels, and so doesn't take the time to explain them). The songs were also not always released in chronological order.

Lunacy of Duke Venomania: The so-called "Duke Sateriasis Venomania" (played by Gackpo) is a Beelzenian noble that rules over Asmodean as one of the "Five Dukes" of Beelzenia (the Beelzenian empire, at this point in time, has conquered much of Evillious). This is sort of early-medieval Evillious but also has elements of later time periods, like Venomania's outfit. The story centers around his stint as a serial kidnapper building a harem of women for his own enjoyment. Specifically, he has contracted with a demon that gives him various powers, one of which is to magically brainwash anyone of the opposite sex into thinking that they are madly in love with him--usually his modus operandi is that he'll visit somewhere, use his powers on the prettiest women he can find, and then wait for them to come to his mansion on their own under the influence of the brainwashing. He keeps them in the mansion's fully furnished basement. Though he starts off small (his first victim is a simple tailor), he eventually escalates to kidnapping queens and princesses from other countries, which sews quite a bit of political turmoil, as you can imagine. Nonetheless, he escapes detection for a while before he's caught.

Of note is that Venomania was not always so attractive--he was born with a physical facial deformity that led to severe abuse, neglect, and bullying in his youth (which is what motivated him to make the contract). This includes being rejected by a noble girl by the name of Gumina (played by Gumi), who was actually his childhood crush and friend. She is the member of his harem who created the picture that he burns in the PV (and, incidentally, the subject of "The Portrait Glassred Drew", which is the "answer song" to this one). She actually does love him, but their relationship is a little too complex to go into here.

Eventually it turns out that one of his victims (the queen of Marlon) had a lover named Karchess (played by KAITO) who goes to rescue her. He goes in disguise as a specific woman that Venomania was looking to kidnap, and--being a man--the brainwashing power has no effect on him. He pretends it does to get closer to him, however. He stabs Venomania with a special dagger that can kill demon contractors, and in so doing frees all of the women from their mind control, leaving Venomania to die alone.

Evil Food Eater Conchita: This is set in Beelzenia proper this time rather than a subservient country (I believe Asmodean has declared independence already iirc, as a note). Imagine it as sort of late medieval period. The main character in the song is Banica Conchita (played by MEIKO), and she is another one of the "Five Dukes" of Beelzenia, having inherited the position from her father. She is a gourmand who was initially something of a local hero, having revitalized Beelzenia's food culture after studying the cuisine from countries around the world. Unfortunately, due to abuse in her childhood she had an unhealthy relationship with food herself, which through various circumstances led to her contracting with a demon that would allow her to eat anything and everything without getting sick from it. Her downward spiral into becoming a monster is the focus of the song. The Rin and Len characters that sing the bridge to the chorus are Arte and Pollo, her twin servants and best friends.

Now, she does have a key relationship that is almost entirely exclusive to the novel, but shows up in "Drug of Gold", the answer song to this one. Essentially, as a teenager she was engaged to a prince of Marlon, a sickly young man named Carlos (played by KAITO). The engagement was broken off when she was triggered into a PTSD attack at her engagement party, and they don't reconnect until after she's already contracted with the demon. He's the chef that she eats. It makes sense in context.

Eventually, after driving her province to ruin, she eats everyone in the house and then herself, getting the last laugh in the end.

Daughter of Evil: This and the other songs in the DoE series center around the political upheaval of the Kingdom of Lucifenia and its ruler, Princess Riliane (played by Rin). Imagine the French Revolution and you'll get the gist of the setting. I'll try to keep it brief. For context--Lucifenia was built into a prosperous kingdom through the bloody expansion wars perpetrated by the much-loved former king, Arth, alongside his queen Anne. Arth died when Riliane was 6, and Anne dying led to Riliane becoming monarch at just 14 years old. I cannot talk about this song without talking about the answer song, "Servant of Evil", which is from the perspective of Alexiel (played by Len), Riliane's twin brother who was separated from her when they were children to avoid a succession crisis among the nobles using the twins as pawns. His name was changed to Allen, and, after being raised by the captain of the guard, he was installed in the palace as a servant to look after his sister (no one remembers him due to reasons explained in the novels).

Riliane is a spoiled, selfish tyrant. Lucifenia goes through a famine and she hordes the food to herself. The captain of the guard steals food from the palace stores to help the people and she has him killed. She discovers that her betrothed has broken off their engagement to pursue a woman from the kingdom of Elphegort (the only neighbor they have a good relationship with) and proceeds to declare a practically genocidal war against them to snuff out this mystery woman. Etc etc. Now--eventually it's revealed that she was possessed by a demon of Pride that whole time, but this is only obliquely hinted at in the first novel.

The people have enough, and are eventually led through a revolution by the daughter of the captain of the guard. They capture the princess and have her executed. It's revealed in Allen's song, however, that they actually switched places, and it was him who died at the guillotine while she escaped to repent for her cruelty and lead a peaceful life at a monastery.

Gift from the Princess Who Brought Sleep: This takes place in Elphegort (by this point Evillious is sort of quasi-Victorian era), centering around the town of Toragay and Margarita (played by Miku), wife of the local Marquis and daughter of a doctor. What you need to know about Margarita is that she maintains a variety of delusions about her life and her husband, Kaspar (KAITO). He wastes their money, sleeps around on her with other women, and is in general a pretty awful person, but she convinced herself that they're in love because they made a marriage promise as children. Margarita has also reportedly never slept one night in her life.

Now, while it doesn't show up in the song, it does show up in the PV and the "answer song" Fifth Pierrot, so it's important to know that at this time in history there is a criminal organization operating in Evillious called "Pere Noel". Margarita was approached by one of its members and asked to refine the recipe for a poison called "Gift", which puts people to sleep. Permanently. She uses this on her husband, and then on her father, and then progressively on more and more people (developing and changing the poison recipe each time) until finally Toragay is a ghost town. Then she uses the poison on herself, so that she can at last finally sleep.

The Tailor of Enbizaka: Enbizaka is a town situated on a hill in the island of Onigashima, which is part of the nation of Jakoku--basically fantasy Japan. I've said it in my other information post but just fyi Jakoku is NOT part of the region actually named Evillious. Enbizaka is unique in that it's one of the only places in Jakoku that foreigners are allowed to live, and this is right around its version of the Meiji era. This song is about a hard working and modest woman called Sudou Kayo (played by Luka), who is known as a tailor in Enbizaka. Now, in the novels it's explained that Enbizaka went through a fire a few years back, which is relevant to plots in the novel but explaining them would be too much to go into here.

The plot of the song is that Kayo sees her husband cheating on her with a bunch of women, and it's strongly implied that she murders these women and steals articles of clothing from them (a kimono, an obi, and a hairpin). She then goes to confront her husband while wearing these items, at which point it's revealed that he is not her husband at all--she is a stranger to him, and they have never met before. Their relationship was a delusion on her part, and she kills him. There is…a LOT more to the story than that, but again, that's all in the novel.

Some further context--after she committed these murders, she turned herself into the authorities and was executed shortly afterwards. The answer song for this one is from the perspective of a monk and someone who knew her in life, who both pray for her upon visiting her disembodied head (which was put on display because she was a criminal).

Judgment of Corruption: This is set during Evillious' modern era (think 1920s-1940s), primarily in the country of Levianta to the north. At this point in time, Evillious has multiple international organizations governing it, including the Union State of Evillious. Gallerian (played by KAITO) is the head judge of the USE's highest judicial authority, and the legal system is modeled off of the one in Japan, which means there is no jury and as judge he has complete control over guilt and sentencing. Gallerian uses this authority to extract bribes from the accused, deciding trials solely over which gets him paid more.

Gallerian does this because he needs money. Essentially, he had a wife and daughter who he loved very much (the daughter, I mean, not his wife). Both of them were on board a ship called the Titanis when it sank. The wife died, and the daughter…also died but you're not supposed to know that in this song (other songs make clear that what he thinks is his daughter is actually a doll that looks like her)--in this he just believes she has been confined to a wheelchair. He was led to believe by a woman called Ma (a playwright and also sorceress) that if he collected all of the vessels of deadly sin (the items that hold demons inside them), it would grant him his wish to cure his daughter's illness. He needs the money to track down the vessels.

Ultimately, Gallerian's actions result in a major political faction (called the "Tasan Party" but that's not important right now) forming to oust him from power, and when he pardons a general guilty of massacring a village it leads to a civil war breaking out. His house is set on fire by the revolutionaries and he's murdered by Nemesis (who isn't in this song but we will talk about later). This leads to the final sequence of the song where he's in the Hellish Yard.

Some more context: The Hellish Yard is basically hell in this series, with a few key differences. The fandom has never entirely agreed on what specifically happened for real in this scene, because Gallerian's POV here is unreliable. The person he meets--the Master of the Hellish Yard--IS a real character and that is what she looks like, and he does have dreams about meeting her before his death, but their conversation about him relinquishing his fortune if he wants to be saved is the one he has with with Nemesis (who is NOT the same character) before she kills him (again, we'll get to her in a minute). To simplify the matter--his soul goes to the Hellish Yard after he dies and and is trapped there, waiting for a time when he can try to rebuild a better world for him and his daughter.

The Muzzle of Nemesis: This song was made much later than the others and requires the most novel context to understand, but I'll try to keep it only to necessary details. This song actually takes place around the same time frame as Judgment of Corruption, so unlike the others it is NOT after a significant time period has passed, nor is it limited to a specific location. Nemesis (played by Gumi) actually showed up in a prior song called Last Revolver (which is about an assassin who falls in love with her target, kills him, then kills herself). The narrative for this one jumps around quite a bit and has a lot of reveals, but to put the facts in order--she is Gallerian's illegitimate daughter with Ma, the playwright. As far as she knows he abandoned her and her mother (in truth he had no idea she existed), and she was raised in a life of poverty. During this time she was contracted with the demon of wrath without her knowledge. She fell in with the wrong crowd and it turns out she's the one who sank the Titanis that killed Gallerian's wife and put his daughter in a wheelchair, using the help of her pet octopus (though she didn't know his wife and daughter were on the ship at the time).

In order to avoid getting prosecuted for her crime, Nemesis was forced to join an organization called Pere Noel. This is a separate organization from the previous Pere Noel, and has slightly complicated political reasons behind its formation and naming scheme, but all you need to know is that Gallerian is technically the boss of it. It's worth emphasizing that Nemesis' existence and her identity as an assassin in Pere Noel was kept secret from him, but she doesn't know that. Anyway, it's while she works for this group that she ends up having to kill her lover and then tries to kill herself. Her suicide attempt fails due to her demonic contract.

Nemesis then resolves to get revenge on Gallerian for everything. She joins the Tasan party and becomes its highest ranking member, leads the charge on his estate, confronts him, and then when he refuses to atone for what he's done and continues to obsess over the doll in his arms rather than the daughter standing right in front of him, she kills him in a rage using the vessel of wrath (the golden bullets in her gun).

It's not a part of this song, but after this point Nemesis goes on to become a dictator and eventually destroys the world after a few more traumatic events occur.

[noobiestnoober]

Cringe and Command (Wesker's Assistant Chronicles)

You’re Albert Wesker's assistant. Unfortunately for him, you refuse to take his villain speeches seriously. Even worse? You keep calling them cringe. He tries to fire you. Repeatedly. But somehow, you're still on payroll. Honestly, he might need therapy more than world domination.

"The world shall kneel before my new order," Wesker intoned, voice dripping with menace as red warning lights blinked around the lab, painting his cheekbones in dramatic crimson shadows.

You rolled your eyes from your spinning chair in the corner. "That line sounds like a villain wrote it after binge-watching bad anime dubs. Cringe."

Wesker froze mid-speech like someone had unplugged him. "Excuse me?"

You sipped from your Umbrella-logo mug. "I'm just saying, if you want people to actually kneel, you might wanna update your material. Maybe something less ‘theatre kid turned fascist.’"

His jaw flexed. "You're fired."

"Cool. I'll pack after I finish fixing your disaster of a PowerPoint presentation. Seriously, slide three transitions simulate a car chase. Did you mean to make it look like a Michael Bay film?"

Wesker glared, his sunglasses somehow reflecting your judgmental stare even though you were indoors. You glared back, wholly unimpressed. The red lights continued to blink like a rave for evil plans, unnoticed by both of you.

Day 34

Wesker tried to fire you again after you brought cupcakes to a top-secret Umbrella executive meeting and insisted everyone sing happy birthday to Nemesis.

"You are the worst assistant I've ever had," he snapped, lips twitching like he was trying not to scream.

"Nemesis deserves joy, Albert," you replied calmly, placing a party hat on a bio-organic weapon—roughly eight feet tall with a permanent snarl—that blinked once in confused gratitude.

He rubbed his temple. "I created life to destroy the world, not to… wear sprinkle cupcakes as hats."

You looked him dead in the eye. "Sounds like a you problem."

Day 46

You changed the lab’s background music to Barbie Girl during a viral sample test. Wesker entered the room to find you and Mr. X doing a synchronized head bop.

"Do I even want to know?"

"Team morale, sir."

He tried to fire you. You printed the HR handbook in Comic Sans and highlighted the clause where he couldn’t actually terminate staff without written approval from Umbrella HQ.

Day 58

You changed his password to "ILoveCringe69" and left a sticky note that said, "World domination is temporary. Memes are forever."

Wesker stared at the screen like it had personally betrayed him. He fired you via email this time. You replied with a meme of a raccoon giving a thumbs-up, captioned: "Mood."

Day 73

He returned to his office to find a slideshow titled "Top 10 Times Wesker Tried to Monologue and I Laughed."

"Number 4 was during a hostage situation!" he shouted.

"Exactly. Peak comedy."

"Get out."

You reached for your bag. "Do I take the laser pointer or...?"

He screamed into his glove.

Day 100

He gave up.

"Why are you still here?"

"Because no one else knows how to rewire the coffee machine without setting the lab on fire. Plus, I'm the only one who can decipher your handwriting. Is that 'Destroy the Resistance' or 'Dessert Inventory'?"

He stared at you. You stared back. Somewhere in the distance, a B.O.W. dropped a beaker. No one moved.

"...Fine. But no more cupcakes."

"Deal."

(You still brought cupcakes. With little Umbrella logos on top. Nemesis ate six. Wesker stared at the crumbs and muttered, "At this point, resistance is futile.")

If you want to see more of Wesker's Assistant Chaos, take a look at Part 2

> HERE <

[shitass-broadsword]

ok weird ass take but i feel like neil degrasse tyson and ben shapiro operate in the same enviroment. like honest to god i have not seen either of them debate someone qualified.

ben shows up to debates with a powerpoint presentation and rebuttal handbook up his ass while the fucking highschoolers he debates get zero prep time

and neil will go on podcasts n shit where they only ask him like grade school level questions and he puts on a bigass grin and goes "foolish little man you are. let me explain why:" and then goes on to talk abt how the moon isnt a hoax or some shit. grown ass man.

like Cosmos was a banger when i was watching that shit on natgeo as a kid but like why tf is the latter half of neil's career just comprised of stooping low as hell

though tbf my only exposure to him as of late has been yt shorts.

(but i heard hes kind of a prick irl so hes evil and im good and everything i say is correct teehee :3)

[flamingpudding]

Part 10 of Ghost Kid in Gotham

>>Masterpost >> AO3

<<1 Previous Next

A/N: A little side information on why this part is so late.... this was originally entirely different. I planned something else but wanted to adjusted that to what I would learn from AGIT but my copy of the book did not arrive yet... soooo this ended up as Part 10 and the original part 10 will be 11 now I guess, we will see :D

A/N(2): Oh btw AO3 link is now out! So far 3 Parts were edited and posted there! I also recently learned that editing a post does not generate a notice. So I will start leaving a comment on the Masterpost whenever a new Part is up. That should hopefully notify anyone subscribed to the Masterpost!

No work at the dinner table

It was supposed to be a normal dinner. His siblings were supposed to just meet his twin brother. Get to meet him and help him enable a somewhat normal childhood with the second chance Damian was getting with Danyal. Yet here he was hugging, no clutching his brother closer to him as he stared at their father at the head of the table furthest away from the twins.

Danyal's entire attention was on the man. There was no adverse reaction like the last time but he knew by his brother's body language that he was entirely focused on their father. The moment the man had spoken their mothers name Damian had felt how Danyals entire demeanor had changed. It was obviously the league training. The way the boy sat up straighter and his shoulders tensed.

The dinner had started relatively well all things considered. Drake had set up a powerpoint with ground rules for how their siblings were supposed to approach and not crowd Danyal. Of course they barely listened once they got to see the boy and Brown was the first one to nearly get bitten by the young boy attempting to pinch his cheeks. Damian had scowled.

But he had also watched on with fondness as he reluctantly had let go of his brother. He knew he was developing an unhealthy clinginess. But could they blame him? He had believed his brother to be dead for eight year and now finally got im back. Damian believed that a little protectiveness was well in his rights.

Brown had no business in teasing him about his brotherly display. Though he did drone when his siblings started discussing who of the two was the 'evil' twin. Did they not know that both Danyal and him were known as Demon Twins in the league? Questioning who of the two was 'evil' was rather foolish and when he voiced these thoughts he had to hide more of his puzzlement as they laughed.

He felt his vindictiveness calm when Danyal bit Brown soon after and despite him not wanting his brother to literally bite them. At least he could trust that Brown would not cause his brother sickness if bitten, he did not believe the same in regards to his elder brothers.

All it all the dinner was shaping up to be quite fine that was until their father stormed in with Richard closely following him. Damian wasn't sure how to categorize the expressions they were making but he let his instincts take over as he scooped up Danyal in his arms and chose the seat furthest away from their father. But if he had to he would at least call the face Richard was making pensive.

He did notice from the corner of his eyes how Todd choose a seat close to them and radiated a rather protective aura while glaring at their father. The next words the man spoke was enough to calm down even the last bit of excitement their siblings had for meeting Danyal as they all soberly waited for what their father had to say.

"I have been able to reach Talia."

Which brought him to the current situation. He felt how the air tensed. His mother had always been a difficult topic for all of them and he could not blame them. She had a rather strange way of showing love especially with the strong influence grandfather used to have on her.

"Danyal is not supposed to be eight years old." Damian's eyes narrowed as his hold once more tightened on his brother. What did father mean by that? Of course Danyal was supposed to be the same age as Damian, but he had died and only gotten revived recently.

"Bruce, maybe we should…" Richard was interrupted by their father laying out a stack of papers. The man's eyes were hard, clearly unhappy with whatever his mother had done and Damian couldn't blame him for that. He himself still felt conflicted whenever he thought about his mother reviving his dead twin after eight years.

The youngest Wayne looked down at the twin in his arms. Noting how his brother's eyes flickered between blue and green as they were trained on their father.

"Danyal al Ghul died at the age of eight. Talia revived him shortly after he had died." His head snapped up. What?

"According to what Talia was willing to share. Danyal did not come back the same, unable to handle Danyal she had then placed him in an adoption Center in Chicago hiding any traces she could of his revival."

"What?" The whisper was out before he could stop it. Todd was glaring even more intensely at their father. Unspoken works of Danyal having gone through the same Pit Madness that Todd had were clearly there. Richard had moved to stand by Damian and Todd, a grounding hand placed on each of their shoulders as the information ran through all of their minds.

His twin hadn't been revived recently but eight years ago?

"With that information I traced it back as far as I was able to. A family with the name of Fenton adopted him and he lived with them for eight years until he was declared dead about a month ago by a governmental institution."

Their father finally took a seat looking right at him and his twin.

"When did you find Danyal?"

"Danny. He likes to be called Danny." Damian said more or less out of reflex, he would recognise if shock set it wouldn't he? He was trained that way. Richard was squeezing his shoulder and his brother was squirming in his arms.

"About four days ago. Kid appeared in my apartment out of nowhere. Thought Dickie was playing a prank on me."

Their father hned and Todd's words. "That still leaves a good three weeks of no information between Dan-ny's revival and his foster parents declaring him dead."

"A governmental institution declared him dead?" Drake questioned further. "Not the police? Was there even a search?"

"They searched for him for a week before he was declared dead." Richard was the one speaking up this time. At the imploring looks of their siblings the elder brother shrugged. "I looked through the reports Bruce had laying all over his office when I…. talked with him."

Clearly there was more to the 'talk' than his eldest brother was willing to say but Damian would question that later more. Right now his focus was his twin. "So something must have happened during that time that not only deaged my brother but also brought him to us. Mother did not have a hand in this this time?"

Their father shook his head no. "If I can believe her words. She left him alone knowing that once Danny regained his mind he would not seek out the league to keep you safe. Talia denies having anything to do with his relocating or dealing. But she did admit to having had someone occasionally check in on the boy but refused to say anything more on that matter."

Damian's hold tightened once more and his brother was obviously squirming in his hold now, wiggling to find a more comfortable position. He heard a chirp and his eyes looked down at the blue eyes of his brother staring up at him.

Something has happened to his brother to leave him in this state. For now he could ignore that his mother had withheld the information that his brother had been alive all these years. He could ignore the hurt he felt over it and he could ignore the fact that Danyal had not attempted to connect with him to protect Damian once more. He would focus on finding out what had been done to his brother and to ensure that he would be safe now.

His siblings were discussing something around him but he was not really listening as his focus was on his brother in his arms. This time he would get to be the one to protect him.

"Ahbak, Danny." He whispered to the boy looking at him with big blue eyes and he could feel Richard squeezing his shoulder once more as he buried his face in his twin's hair.

"Ahbak, Dami!" The child in his hands told him and Damian once more swore, he would find out what happened to his brother and he would protect him. Everything else he would deal with once he ensured his brother's safety.

"By the way, I have one burning question!" Brown suddenly piped up interrupting whatever discussions were going on and stared at the child and the teen that were supposed to be twins of the same age. Their serious discussion was forgotten as she broke the tension that had built up with her next words.

"Who is the older twin?"

The short silence spoke volumes as Danmian raised an eyebrow at his siblings and Danyal made another chirping noise.

"It's obviously Damian."

"But from what Damian told us I would think it's Danny."

"Did you see how feral he is? He is the youngest."

"But Damian said Danny was protective! That is the mark of an older sibling!"

"You shitting me? He's the younger."

"Older."

"Guys this sounds awfully a lot like the evil twin discussion from earlier…"

"Yea the little shit is the evil younger twin."

"No, the stabby one is the evil younger twin."

"You're biased, because he tried to kill you before."

"And you're biased because you're the favorite chewtoy."

All his siblings were imbeciles, even his twin brother with his recent habit of biting anyone that came too close was better behaved than them. He clicked his tongue, though he smiled fondly as down at his brother who suddenly had started to hiss at Brown for trying to pinch the boy's cheek to prove something. "<tt> Danyal was… is the older one between the two of us."

Also Damian could feel Pennyworth staring at them all from the passage door to the kitchen with high disapproval as he was ready to serve dinner but apparently refused to do so until father put away the stacks of reports in regards to his twin, that obviously broke the butlers no work at the table rule.

[mysecret02]

Hello lovelies!

Jason Todd idea.

He had been „dead” at the beginning of 2000’s. I like to think he was the kind who still used phoneboots to call Alfred ont he landline once he accidentally left his phone home.   

With this information and with the knowledge that most proggrames like Word or PowerPoint got new updates around the end of 80’s, beginning of 90’s or so I can imagine Little!Jay writing period-drama fanfiction on a REALLY old wersion of Word.

And I just see him needing to juggle studying, social-life and being Robin, sometimes even going to places with Bruce and being „kidnapped” for a weekend by an overly affectionate Dick who wanted to show off his little brother even if he wasn’t sure of their bond yet and sometimes felt resentful towards him. On those occcasions specially he took him for a weekend, just plucked him up from the pavement in fron of Gotham Academy and even though Jay protested because he „still has homework to do”, he actually found it so cool that his big brother came for him on a motorbike.

So because of these circumstances he started to record himself reading his favourite books or songs he liked ont he radio and put them on casettas. If he had left some at Dick’s place and Dick had found them and couldn’t stop listening to his dead baby brother’s voice articulatedly telling him about handsome ladies and gentlemen falling in love and he was crying with his little brother at the happy end, well nobody needed to know.

Time went by, Jay came back to life, got thrown into the pit, started training with the All-Caste, than with different teachers all around the world. He didn’t really have time nor did he pay any attention to the new things. Obviously Talia sent him to study about programming and stealing information but that didn’t really include mobility aid programms or „how to download music”.

After his bloddy Red Hood arc and with the truce with the Bats he started to look back into his old hobbies. It’s around 2010’s by this point . He went to an electronics shop and the guy at the counter could’t even give him a walkman OR a disckman for that metter. Everybody was trying to sell him USB drives because „that’s the future”. It had been so awkward he gave up, until he saw his old walkman at Dick’s bedside table. The evil thief even put blue batstickers on it! Naturally he took it back because that was rightfully his, he got it as a present from B for his secound Christmas at the manor.

All hell broke loose.

Dick yelled at Slade and Bruce, accused the old Titans of cruelly pranking him, sobbed to Clark over the phone until he came over ehrn Dick worked himself into an anxiety/panic attack.

Unbeknowns to this Jay tried to get clean casettes so he could record the new books he found while travelling. And where did he know they had those things? In the cave, he remembered hiding some behind a stack of files so he went to get them.

The next night when he thought nobody would be there he went tot he cave and run into a sad moping Dick who has been told by Bruce he must have misplaced his walkman and he will not be let out on patir in his near frantic condition.

They run into each other and „OMG why would you scratch up my sticker!? I got that from Wally” „ME? Excuse me you FUCKING THIEF!” They start arguing and fighting for it, when Oracle checks the Cave cameras she sees two angry vigilantes yelling at each other while wrestling ont he floor:

D: Give it BACK!

J: These are MINE! Record your own you filthy thief!

D: I’m not a thief, you LEFT it at my place!

J: OH YEAH! Then now I’m taking it BACK!

D: NO! Bruce said I could keep it!

J: Bruce can SUCK MY-

O: Guy, what are you doing?

At the same time: „He took away my walkman!”

J: Of course I took it BACK! Do you know how long it takes to record these???

D: But you can just download the audiobooks! Why do you act as if you didn’t have the money for it!

J: BECAUSE I- what? What are you talking about?

O: *long sigh* You two are both idiot.

The three of them spend the night at the Watchtower. They bicker and yell and there’s popcorn everywhere while they try to teach Jason how to use smartphones in the smart way. They show him how to use text-to-audio converters, QCR programmes and how to download audiobooks. Jay is very pleased with his new knowledge and Dick gets to keep the old casettes with the walkman in exchange for Dick and Barbara’s help with no laughing at him if he needs something with technology.

By the time the Sun comes up they all passed out, Babs being ont he couch and Dick and Jason sleeping ont he foor with the couch pillows. Jason started hogging the blanket and Dick is hogging Jason’s right arm.

It doesn’t solve everything, Jason negotiates Dick with the casettes he still has at the manor when he wants something and Babs blackmails Jason with the photos of him and Dick sleeping together while Jason periodically bothers Barbara for new updates for his book-programmes(there’s a folder on his phone with this name). But it’s nice, the dynamic between the three of them has changed but they know now for sure they can still count on each other.

[gav-san]

Okay, as you asked, Gav-san, sending the full ask from my ID 🤣 Anyway, that anon who said reverse with Reader searching for their soulmate...

Doflamingo would not survive me. The moment I see how sexy he is on his wanted poster I am telling him my name and saying "so you know which name to moan, Mr. Heavenly Demon" and I am on my way PRONTO to Dressrosa, getting on the fastest ship there. And Doffy is at first DELIGHTED. He's brushing his hair, combing his coat, polishing his shoes, wears an open shirt to show off his ABS and PECS and COLLARBONE, wants to look the best, to slay, serve looks, full flamingo flamboyance™✨🦩✨. He's like "yes, come get me, cariño 😍" and I'm sending him NSFW images of everything I'll do to/with him and he's just "OH MY GOD YESS 🥵🥵🥵"

But then I get more feral and feral. "Uh, cariño, I don’t think I can pour soup all over myself -" (hissing noises) (insert Doflamingo whimpering)

Suddenly, he's both incredibly HORNY and incredibly scared.

I come into Dressrosa like a wrecking ball. I bust down the main entrance doors of the palace with more power than Monkey D. Luffy. I am on a mission - get into Doffy's pants and STAY there. That evil flamingo is MINE.

Dressrosa Royal Guard falls under my Horny Haki. The DQ Pirates are too scared to even get close to me. I kick down the doors of Doflamingo's bedroom.

He's hiding in the closet, blushing red like a lobster and aroused.

He screams when I find him. I pounce on him. NSFW issues.

The end.

And that is how you defeat Doflamingo. You need to beat him at his own game. Be hornier than him. Leave him panting on the bed and gasping "Marry me." as his first words after the NSFW.

@physics-of-one-piece

Bruh, leave it to physics to thirst on main XD

This was a normal weekday. I was drinking tea. I was breathing air. And then YOU KICKED DOWN MY MENTAL PALACE DOORS WITH A NSFW BIRD TORNADO and now I’m just...

Doflamingo: “C-cariño, I can’t handle this level of enthusiasm—”

You: “I brought a PowerPoint. Slide one: Why You’re Gonna Cry.”

You’re telling me this man, this 10-foot-tall war criminal demigod in pink feathers, is now crouched in a closet like a sexy little loot goblin because you activated your Horny Conqueror’s Haki™ across the ocean?

You reverse Uno-carded Doflamingo and then speedran his villain arc into a marriage proposal. If there weren't so many good Doflamingo stories already, I might be tempted to write another, starring you.

[godblooded]

as someone who once did a PowerPoint in college on how much i hated the evil superman era in one of my classes (yes i am Autistic lmfao) that i entitled ‘whatever happened to superman’s little red shorts’ this resurgence of the supes that loves fuels me.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

PLZ MORE SILLY VEES HEADCANONS THE LAST ONES MADE MY DAYYYYY

Okay okay I'll try to squeeze a little bit more silly of me, just for you, Anon <333 Because I love making people happy uwu

Velvette and Valentino sometimes end up doing lines of coke off Vox's screen when they're out of flat surfaces. It usually goes something like this:

Vox, look, what's that on the ceiling?! Okay, wait, now don't move... OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE! Chill, it's not like you don't use my body for your pleasure. Yeah, God gave you this flat face for a reason. We all have our purpose

Valentino is kinda like that friend who went to therapy once and only remembered the part where his feelings and boundaries are super important.

Stop being mean to me! I'm not being mean, I just told you not to kill that waiter. I have FEELINGS. *sigh* We know, Val. AND YOU ARE MAKING THEM S A D. We know, Val.

Valentino once came up with the idea that Vox's pornstar name should be voXXXy. He keeps bringing it up every once in a while, still hoping Vox will agree to have a cameo in one of his movies.

Vox once surprised Valentino with this cheeky red lingerie set. When Val caught on it was basically a Sexy Alastor Costume, Vox ended up couch-surfing for a week.

Whenever Vox doesn't pay enough attention to him, Valentino messes with his Excel sheets, inserting random '69' or '420' here and there, or pasting some of his sexy photos in Vox's Very Important PowerPoint About KPIs.

When Velvette is bored, she comes up with the dumbest ways to die and then asks her succubi friends (since succubi are some of the demons legally allowed to travel to the mortal realm) to start them on TikTok. She's incredibly proud whenever she learns that some soul ended up in hell because of her challenges.

This one time, stumbling home after a party, Vox was like:

Val, Vel, you guys can draw, right? How 'bout I pay you hundred bucks for a big-ass graffiti? What graffiti BIG! Saying what? FUCK ALASTOR AHAHAHAHAHA *hick*

They were cackling like evil children while painting it. It is still there somewhere in Pentagram City, absolutely beautiful.

Vox likes to come up with silly names for his products that are almost cartoonishly evil, because he's a silly evil guy. So, he will market those Cereal Killers to the kids in hell.

[destinationtrekk]

pre-re5. one day, Excella calls out on the day Wesker is supposed to get his PG67A/W. he's so lost in his paperwork and powerpoints that until the effects of not getting it start creeping in as he heads home, he's forgotten about needing it.

when he gets home he's really, really starting to feel the consequences.

you end up giving him it and nursing him through the delayed effect (maybe it makes his veins all sting or his body hurt or feel dizzy for a bit or smth until it evens out) and taking care of him in that moment earns you a field of vulnerability and openness you didn't expect access to, given his secrecy about his work and self...

and maybe it is a little hot to take care of him when he's under the weather, because an augmented man almost never is. being the caretaker for a little makes you feel Some Kind of Way, the contrast giving you the space to show your appreciation and provide him with overly-gentle brushes and little extra affectations he can't deny. little did you know wesker feels similarly for his own reasons, having such a cute, pliant nurse fretting over his every move and willing to do anything to make him better makes him have to clear his throat to dislodge the recommendations that want to climb out of his mouth.

i love the idea of a sick and pathetic wesker because he just forgot his shot. like what a guy. needs someone to feed him soup and pat his head while he lays there miserable because he just got too busy

on a serious note, he likes having someone take care of him! i know the PG67A/W is supposed to be like... cool and dark and all about his strength but also it's so domestic. like "honey i need my medicine :( or i will not be evil anymore :("

that wasn't even serious LOL but still!! he'll grumble and be annoyed but once you start being sweet and almost babying him, he is alllll over it and wants more. if his mind starts to wander to the gutter, well that's no one's business but him and his hand tbh