#in a way which was kind of questionable and was often bragged about in their tags about missing 'their family'
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applestorms · 2 days ago
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trying to break down beyond more so here's some random thoughts:
he's very particular about the ways in which he's unhinged/insane, and oddly conscious about every weird thing he does. everything is meant to one-up L: excess sugar (jam + coffee sludge), uncomfortable body movements, presenting as a Genius Detective to hide his own crimes, etc. his weirdness is unnatural and, at least in the ways he specifically tries to replicate L, not innate to him specifically. there's a version of beyond, perhaps pre-L, who is weird in his own unique way.
for a serial killer, he has very little interest in the killings themselves. despite executing all these violent murders, even one of a 13 year old girl, every one of his victims is killed only after they're drugged to unconscious and the mutilation of their bodies is all post-death, for the sake of his puzzles alone. seemingly the only reason why he bothers with murder is because that is what L focuses on, and because his eyes make him so intimate w/ death.
his motives are clearly focused around L, perhaps both as a reaction to L and as an attempt at initiating some kind of interaction? iirc mello claims near the end of the story that his sole purpose is to give L some kind of unsolvable case, but clearly some of his behaviors must be done to antagonize L specifically, since almost nobody else (other than the meta audience) knows who he's presenting himself as/clowning on.
ultimately, it's his ego that gets him. he underestimates naomi's abilities often throughout the story, feeding her clues to ensure that his own puzzles get solved-- perhaps out of a lack of respect for her intelligence, but also to present himself as even more capable? to brag as much as he can?
the congenital shinigami eyes is honestly one of the most fascinating ideas any death note side story has ever presented. there are so so so many questions you can ask here-- is beyond genetically part shinigami? is he or his birth family somehow connected to a death note? how can he read the lifespans? mello describes beyond's shinigami eyes as follows:
Killing people was, for him, normal. Killing people who were fated to die anyway was no effort at all. Mmm, I guess I should explain the idea of the eyes of a shinigami. The phrase is only too familiar to me, but if I don't explain it, some of you will cry foul. The eyes of a shinigami. These eyes could be given out by any shinigami in return for half the recipient's remaining life. Normally contact with a shinigami was a prerequisite for acquisition, but Beyond Birthday had traded nothing--he had seen the world through those eyes since before he could remember. He knew your name before you said it. He knew the time of death of every person he met. ...I hardly need to explain just what effect this would have one his personality. You might think they would hardly be useful without a Death Note, but that is simply not the case. The ability to see someone's remaining life is the ability to see death. Death, death, death. Beyond Birthday lived his life unceasingly reminded that all humans would eventually die. From the time he was born he knew the day his father would be attacked by a thug and die, knew the day his mother would die in a train crash. He had these eyes before he was born, which is why he called himself Beyond Birthday. Which is why a child as strange as him was taking in by our home, sweet home--Wammy's House. (pg. 94-95)
it's unclear exactly how much of this story mello heard from L and how much is him interpreting/theorizing w/ his own ideas. the potentially biased narration is a fantastic layer in this story.
he is the second known wammy's kid to overtly attempt suicide, though his attempt is of course incomplete. we have no idea about the circumstances surrounding A's suicide, though i find it notable that A is mentioned at all as their presence makes this a pattern. this also seems important in conjunction w/ mello's infamous opening line: "I am your narrator, your navigator, your storyteller. For anyone else but [Near and Kira], my identity may be of no interest, but I am the old world's runner-up, the best dresser that died like a dog, Mihael Keehl. I once called myself Mello and was addressed by that name, but that was a long time ago. Good memories and nightmares." (pg. 12)
sidenote: love his use of "the old world," in that quote, i wonder what the original japanese is... fits well w/ the whole idea of L as the god of the old world. anyway,
his relationship with naomi is also Fascinating to me, particularly since it really doesn't seem like either of them have a speck of respect for the other. lmfao. i should really fic write for those two sometime... i really just need to do a proper character study on both of those bitches. lol.
edit: almost immediately upon posting this i open back the damn book back up to this quote:
If he attacked her with intent to kill, he would absolutely fail. He knew that he would. Ensuring his path of escape was far more critical. Naomi Misora was nothing more than L's servant, and if she died there would be dozens of replacements-- from the FBI, the CIA, and the NSA-- even Secret Service. So he had only been testing her. Seeing if Naomi Misora was capable of being L's substitute. "Hmmm...mmmm...hmmm...Huh huh huh huh...no, hee hee hee? I could go with ho ho ho ho, but that's a little too jolly...anyway. Oh, Naomi Misora-- you are pretty good. A shame to waste someone like you in the FBI." She had passed the test, so far. (pg. 95-96)
so. shit, idk. i guess he does still have some respect for her, albeit tempered by that classic death note sexism. shrug.
the beyond vs. KIRA comparison has a lot to consider, particularly when it comes to their egos and how they choose to cover up their crimes. L's reaction to either of them is also intriguing-- as much as i like to point out L's lack of respect for beyond he does admittedly take on the case even when it doesn't quite fit his usual standards (10+ deaths and/or 1 million dollars). he's at least somewhat aware of what his legacy is setting up, though how much he actually gives a shit about any of those kids is somewhat debatable...
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a9saga · 1 year ago
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been listening to a lot of luna sea’s LA live album from 2011 lately because a lot of the studio versions of their big hits like rosier, slave, storm etc aren’t available on streaming platforms but the live album is and it’s got me thinking, man. i would probably kill to see luna sea actually.
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southern-fried-simpin · 4 months ago
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We Belong Dead| Alastor x Dead Wife!Reader
A/n: Hey everyone I know it’s been a LONG time since I’ve written something and I’m sorry it’s not DC related but I finished Hazbin with my fiancée MONTHS AGO and I’ve been wanting to write Alastor soooo bad! With all of that being said, let it be known that I do NOT condone or agree with any of the questionable actions and opinions of Vivienne Medrano, but I DO enjoy this show and a lot of the characters.
Warning(s): Floofy but suggestive, Alastor “using” reader and reader just kind of going along with it, mentions of murder, sad at first, human Alastor and reader mentioned, temporary unrequited love, Demi romantic Alastor, Alastor because he’s…Alastor, mentions of marriage, canon divergence, suicide, death, loooooong introduction and plot h🫠
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“Mama, we’re gonna get married!”
Alastor had decided that you were both ready for marriage in the middle of the school yard and decided to announce this as his mother came to pick him up.
His mother feigned shock as she started to playfully chide him.
“You can’t just marry some girl you met on the first day of school!”
Alastor kept his arms around you as you both giggled and showed his mother the ribbon he had tied around your finger.
“Oh my!” She exclaimed.
“Obviously you two are very serious about this! How about we have your fiancée over for dinner after school one day so I can get to know her better, hm?”
Despite Alastor never having that wedding ceremony with you on the playground, you both remained close all the way up until you graduated high school. After that, you went your separate ways.
Several years later, when Alastor bumped into you as you were leaving the corner store one day, you ended up talking to him for hours. After which, you had started getting together more often. Eating out, going to shows, drinking and having fun together.
Somewhere along the way, however, having fun together turned into going on dates together. Going on dates turned into staying up late talking for hours about anything and everything, and lovely gifts.
One such gift being your engagement ring.
Looking back on it now, you don’t know how or why you thought it was normal for a man to propose after 6 months.
On the outside, Alastor was the husband that every woman dreamed of. He helped you clean and cook, he never raised his voice, and he always bragged about you. On the inside however, something felt stiff. Tense. Off.
Alastor rarely ever initiated kisses, he barely touched you, and he disappeared in the middle of the night rather frequently.
After he was killed, it all made sense. You weren’t his wife so much as you were his alibi. Who would have thought the vicious killer that buried his victims on a hunting ground had a wife waiting at home? A wife who, despite what everyone believed, was oblivious to his crimes. It didn’t matter, though. In a matter of days, you lost your job, your friends, and your peace of mind. In the weeks that came to pass, you slowly lost your mind and your will to live as well.
You died in your sleep after taking a cocktail of pills with a glass of brandy. The police found you in bed wearing your most expensive nightgown, your hair neatly styled, and makeup done perfectly.
Just like before, time had gone on, and your time in hell had been quite interesting. Maybe even a bit enjoyable if you were being honest. The old saying rang true: Hell truly had no fury like a woman scorned. Your arrival in Hell was a testament to that.
Armed with your broken heart and raw, stinging rage, you made a home for yourself and began your own business. Anyone who got in your way was sliced open with the very weapons you sold. You were very aware of Alastor’s presence, but made no effort to contact him. He had no idea you were here, either.
That changed a few days ago.
Who should you see while on an outing in Cannibal Town but your darling husband. He looked different, but you recognized him almost immediately. He offered to walk with you and followed you even after you declined. Every day after that, he miraculously ran into you everywhere you went. He was relentless in trying to get your attention. He would try to talk to you and when you ignored him, he would carry on speaking like it was nothing. Today you finally cracked when he invited you to come to a hotel. The Hazbin Hotel, specifically.
“Why?”
“Well, I thought I might show you this little…business venture…I’ve been working on recently! After all, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen my lovely wi-“
“Don’t call me that.” You spat.
His smile never faltered, but his eyes held a look of momentary discomfort.
“Ah, and here we are!” Alastor pointed his staff towards the building in front of you. It looked like some place from when you were alive, except old and decrepit.
Ever the gentleman, Alastor held the door for you as you walked in before he followed suit. Not 5 minutes passed before a woman with long silver hair angrily stomped in your direction.
“Alastor! Where have y-,” she paused when she noticed you by his side, “who…who the fuck is this?” A blonde was following close behind her.
“I’m glad you asked!” Alastor’s smile broadened. He proceeded to introduce you as his beloved wife to everyone in the room, and then introduced them to you, completely ignoring the looks of shock and awe on their faces. Before anyone else in the room could speak, Alastor hastily took your hand.
“Now, if you excuse us, we have some things to discuss.” With that, you and Alastor promptly dissolved into a shadowy mist.
The lobby was silent then as everyone stared at where Alastor and you once stood.
“Ssso…that was weird for everyone elsse too…right?”
Meanwhile, upstairs, Alastor turned after carefully locking the door to his room.
“Now, I suppose I owe you an explana—“, he was cut off by a resounding smack when your hand connected with his cheek. Alastor’s head turned with a sharp snap. He stood completely still there for a moment, eyes wide and smile looking painfully forced. If it had been anyone else, they would’ve been dead by now, but you? Well…he always liked how feisty you were. Alastor cleared his throat before speaking again.
“Alright…”, he said while turning to face you. “I probably deserved that…”
“You deserve a lot worse than that actually, but go on.”
“I know, and I can’t…” Alastor suddenly felt unsure of what to say. Granted, The Radio Demon was not one for heartfelt apologies (or any apologies for that matter) but if anyone deserved one from him, it was you. Yet, there he stood: the feared Radio Demon, lost for words at your mere presence.
There was a long and uncomfortable silence.
“Do you have any idea what you did to me?” You finally said. “What I suffered because of you?!”
Alastor offered no response.
“What FUCKING-“ you paused as tears began to well in your eyes. Your face red and splotchy and your lips quivering as you started to sob.
“You lied to me-“
“I did.”
“You used me!”
“I did.”
“You told me you loved me!”
“I do.”
And that gave you pause. Had he loved you? Really loved you? No. It had to be a lie. He couldn’t possibly-
“I know I can’t make up for everything I did and everything that happened…” Alastor said while walking towards you. When he stopped, just a few inches from you, you had to look up at him. Alastor was taller than you in life, but now he towered over you. He gently took your hand in his. “But I’ll spend the rest of eternity trying…for you.”
You watched as he gently kissed your fingers. With tears in your eyes and an uneven breath, you laid your head on his chest.
You missed him. You tried not to miss him, but you did and there was no use in denying it anymore.
“One chance,” you finally said. “That’s all you get.”
“That’s all I’m asking.”
You looked up at Alastor and locked eyes with him briefly. The feared Radio Demon wanted nothing more right now than a chance to have you back. His eyes flitted between your lips and your eyes before he dipped you low. To anyone else, it would be an over-the-top gesture, but to you? Oh, how his theatrics made you blush and swoon.
“So…what do you say, darling?” He leaned in closer, almost touching his forehead to yours.
“Do we have a deal?~”
You raised a brow at his words.
He chuckled then.
“Ah, I apologize for my poor choice of words. What I meant was: May I have the honor of courting you, my dear?”
Your eyes softened and you smiled up at him.
“Yes, darling.”
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potatomountain · 4 months ago
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CiY- CH 18
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Chapter Eighteen
📍Pairing: detective ateez ot8 x detective afab reader 📍Summary: "Answers? or more questions?" 📍WC: 3.1k 📍AU: detective/mafia 📍Genre: action, dark themes, poly romance📍Warning(s): 18+ rating, suggested voyeurism, suggestive, Wooyoung makes everything sexual 📍Nets: @pirateeznet | @mirohs-aurora-society 📍Beta readers (and sole motivation): @flurrys-creativity , @candypop1611 , @yourfatherlucifer , @skteezcursed and edited(usually) by the amazing: @daemour
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With a few days to rest and be alone with your mind all you could do was think about Mingi. You came to terms with the fact it wasn’t that he told the others about you two fucking, you partly expected that, but it was about Chan. The fact they knew about Chan, what had happened.
And that San, unlike Mingi, didn't seem like the type to brag about his sexual encounters.
By Thursday morning you had done nothing but sit and stew and worry. You were ready to dive head first into the work, into whatever cover you were given and completely forget how vulnerable you had been with two men and how they aired your dirty laundry for their friends, who not all liked you, to hear. Part of you was dreading Wooyoung as you were sure he had questions you did not want to answer, probably ever. Yet he was at your apartment door, first thing in the morning, with breakfast and a shopping bag in his hand. “Morning sunshine, time to prepare to slay the day.” He barged right in, pushing the bag into your hand and then making his way to your couch. “Wear that and then come eat. We’ll do your makeup after.” Brow furrowed, you watched him for a moment more before sighing and heading to your room. Right to business then, that was fine by you. But you took a shower first at least. The clothes themselves were gaudy and tight, but not to the point to draw attention to yourself. Well, depending on where you went. You were assuming downtown, all things considered, which this worked for. Dressed, you sat down on your sofa next to him to see he made himself at home: TV on, lounging back against the cushions, mouth full of the breakfast sandwich he was eating. He motioned to the other sandwich and coffee set out, right down to your preferences.
When had he learned them? “Did San tell you what I like?” You hummed out, taking a sip of coffee, remembering the surprise breakfast the day you had been late.
“Yeosang did. Scolded me when I tried to get you something different,” He replied nonchalantly, taking a sip of his own coffee. 
You gawked, unsure if you heard him right. Yeosang did? The grump that barely liked to talk to you or look your way? He got his panties in a twist making sure you got food you liked? That just didn't add up.
As if sensing the disturbance in the force, Wooyoung glanced over at you, chuckling at your slack jaw. “He's anal about specifics, don't worry about it. Just eat, we have a lot of bases to cover today and you need to do your hair and some makeup. Sunglasses would work or a mask. Windows are tinted but we'll be walking around a bit as well.”
With a nod you focused on your food, Wooyoung laughing at something on the TV. He glanced at you often, grinning when you met his eyes, but didn't speak up. He let you eat, even once he was all done. You took the chance to look him over, to take note of his appearance. Baggy white washed jeans, blank tank under an open button up that the sleeves were pushed up to his elbows, exposing that one of his arms was completely covered in black and white ink, small hints of color. His dual hair was pulled back in a half ponytail, really showing off the blonde under it. The growing smirk on his lips told you he was aware of you checking him out, and you found yourself grinning in turn, laughing under your breath when his tongue poked out and up at the side of his mouth, chuckling without looking at you directly. It was kind of cute actually.
“Like what you see?” He quipped once he got his laughter under control, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. “You know it.” You set your empty wrapper aside and leaned towards him as he turned more towards you, finally giving you his full attention since he got here. “I never did thank you.” He lifted his brow, the slit even more defined in it. “Thank me for what?” His eyes flickered down to where your hand now laid on his knee, his pupils dilating in response. You realized how easy it would be to play with him physically, but quickly chased that thought away. While you had been open to it beforehand, your anger at Mingi and the others flared to life once more. “Oh just being honest with me; whether it was about how attractive you think I am, or about the others. I am still surprised you just blatantly kissed San like that.” He noticed the change in demeanor, the smirk faltering on his features but slipping into an almost sympathetic expression. “They aren’t very honest with you are they? How rude of them. If you asked me to bark, I would. Asked me to eat their cum out of your cunt, I would gladly. Asked me to-” Your hand covered his mouth quickly, ears hot from his words. “Easy easy, what you would let me do to you sexually has nothing to do with what you would tell me in confidence.” You pointed out, creating some distance between you as you stood up. “And now isn’t the time for any of that. I’ve been twiddling my thumbs far too often. I would like to work.” Maybe it was an excuse to avoid the topic further, since Wooyoung had seemed intent on making it sexual, but you were really eager to get to work. He thankfully let the subject drop then helped you with your hair while you did minimal makeup. The accessories were a different story, much more than you were comfortable with for undercover work but understandable. So many necklaces, earrings, bracelets and hair pieces. He really was selling the gaudy appearance. He took you out to the car once you complained for the nth time that you did not want to waste another hour on your appearance especially if you were going to be in the car for most of it. It had you almost pouty as you climbed into the undercover car, windows so tinted you really couldn’t see inside at all, but it was crystal clear inside- the rundown exterior did not match the luxury of the inside. “The fuck? Can the department afford this?” “Nah this is my personal car. Well, one of them anyways. Buckle up Goddess it’ll be a long drive. We have a lot of stops to cover. Oh and-” He reached for the center console, tapping some buttons on the screen there until Yeosang’s face popped up illuminated by blue light from multiple computer screens. “Sangie say hi will you?” You were reminded of Wooyoung’s earlier comment, now taking in the onyx hair that fell in Yeosang’s eyes a bit, noticing they weren’t as dark as the others or that could be the light from the computers illuminating them. The light also illuminated a birthmark by his left eye, part of it on the outer corner and another a bit away, nearly shaped like a heart. His features were beautiful, even on this small screen, and you were surprised they didn’t immediately twist in disgust when he noticed you. In fact he seemed a bit shell shocked, eyes widening as he took in your appearance as you did his, only pulling away when Wooyoung cleared his throat. “Can you two not eye fuck each other in my presence? Thanks.” Yeosang tore his eyes away immediately to glare at Wooyoung. “I wasn’t! She just looks… different.” The pink dusting of his golden cheeks said differently but you weren’t one to question it.
Instead you were questioning what had changed. Your last interaction with Yeosang was when Chan appeared, and while the man had been a bit civil there, you didn’t expect it to warrant this level of… what was this? Acceptance? No, but he didn’t seem at all upset about your presence. “Don’t tease Wooyoung, let’s get this started okay? Is he going to be with us the whole ride?” You buckled in and got comfortable, setting your purse down that held your gun and credentials. Wooyoung had insisted you didn’t need them but you felt safer with them. Not really even safer but more confident in your capabilities. Wooyoung started up the car and pulled away from your apartment complex. “He is. We still want to log how you do in the field and if we need any information instantly, he will be here to get it. Whether on the screen or in our earpieces, he will be listening in.” You rolled your eyes. “Sounds like I’m being babysat.” “Quite the opposite Goddess, I’m the one being babysat.” Wooyoung grinned over at you, Yeosang’s attention on other screens in front of him so you got his side profile more than anything. “Gotta make sure I actually focus on the job and not on getting you on my cock.” The words left him effortless and had Yeosang choking on air.
Glancing at the man on the screen for a moment, you nearly yelped when you felt Wooyoung’s hand on your bare knee. “Though they forgot I don’t mind an audience and I think Yeosang would love to watch my cock driving up into your- owowowowow my hand!” Wooyoung cried out, trying to pull his hand out of your now crushing grip. You let him go if only because he was driving, glaring at him. “I can see why you need a babysitter. Are you constantly turned on or something?” “Definitely close to constantly, at least in your presence.” He whined out, now rubbing his injured hand to his chest as you had stopped in traffic. He pouted out at you. “You can squeeze my cock like that-” You grabbed his shirt and pulled him over, fist raised as if to hit him when he put his hands up in defense, “-okay okay I’ll calm down! Eesh!” Yeosang was wheezing on the screen, hunched over the desk with his face out of sight but the back of his head was shaking in the frame, shoulders as well. You could almost make out laughter, which had you sneering a bit. Yeosang was not going to be a very good babysitter apparently.
And this was going to be one long ride. _________ Despite Wooyoung’s innate ability to turn everything sexual or mention how much he wanted to fuck you, constantly, it was turning into an informative day. He took you around downtown, stopping at first in the red light district, an arm around your waist as he shifted his walk as if acting and dragged you around. It was a bit surprising for such a district to be busy even before lunch, which you suspected was due to the success of those that were here. Yeosang was in your earpieces, explaining to you each place you stopped at since Wooyoung could not do so out loud. You were beginning to like the man’s deep voice in your ear, and the lisp that popped up whenever he spoke English was endearing. But there were a few things he said that had peaked your interest. Like, for one, once you two hit deeper Pink Boa territory, a small section of downtown with an extravagant strip club with apartments above, Wooyoung pointed to one of the windows and said “Mom lives there” and easily moved on to point to the night club across the street. “I got kicked out of there when I was a teen. Mom caught me sneaking out alcohol.” You moved on to a men’s host club further down the street and learned another fun piece of information. “Hwa worked there at one point. Should see him dance.” “Woo, stop pointing these out, it's irrelevant at the moment.” Yeosang said in your ear, and Wooyoung’s as well. “It is interesting though.” Wooyoung turned to you. “Does any of this bother you? These sexual places we worked or lived in?�� You swore you noticed something else in his eyes, a deeper question you couldn’t name. “Why would it?” You questioned, looking back at him. “Do these things change how you treat me?” He paused for a moment, contemplating your words before nodding. “And if you had to live here or work here to do your job?” He asked under his breath, pulling you closer to his side. You realized this was the sort of stuff they would do for undercover work, or well remembered it since Mingi had constantly brought women back to sleep with and get information. Wooyoung was essentially asking if you could do it. Humming softly, you turned him so you were chest to chest, pressing closer and running your hands down his chest to hook your forefingers in his belt loops. “You should see me dance, I think I can put Seonghwa to shame.” He smirked, leaning in to brush his nose over yours. “I’m sure you could.” He leaned in more to whisper in your free ear “I’m sure you fuck better than him too.” He pulled away and out of reach of your swing, predicting it before your hand was pulled back to smack him. Laughing he skipped ahead, and you followed. Then there was the car, no longer in the red light district, but more center town where it was a bit more high class. The shopping district was uptown center but this seemed to be a bit more important. “Where should I show her next?” Wooyoung had parked the car for the moment, talking to Yeosang in the small screen and ignoring your incredulous look. “I thought you had this all planned? We eat lunch and now you’re stumped?” You scoffed, rolling your eyes and slipping further into your seat. “I do have a lot to show you but it’s a question of what you’re ready for Goddess.” He winced as soon as you rounded on him. “I mean, shit-” You had grabbed Wooyoung’s shirt and pulled him closer, finding that you manhandled him very much, and most of the time it wasn’t even intentional; he just brought it out of you. He did also touch you just as much, and if it wasn’t for the work you had a sneaking suspicion he would fuck you.
Which you might let him. Not that you would tell him.
Yeosang sighed as you furrowed your brow even further at the pretty detective in your hands. “He doesn’t mean how you think, sweetheart. You might be a little… shocked at how much of center city is run by mafia families, that’s all.” You shook your head and let go of Wooyoung, if only because you were taken back by what Yeosang called you. You were pretty sure he wasn’t even aware he did so. “Don’t worry about it. I need to know all about this area, and the players. So get to it.” Wooyoung sighed and then spent the next hour or so pointing on the major alleys and corporate buildings with ties to the mafia. Yeosang chimed in, clarifying which ones they suspected definitely had a member of the Golden Circle running it but one particular one stood out to you: Park Pharmaceuticals.
That rang several alarms in your head once you realized why it stood out. It was the company Seonghwa’s parents ran. You did not once think that these men had actual ties to any of the mafia, yet now you couldn’t help the buds that were planted. The bud was pushed to the back of your mind momentarily, the two of you driving up to the north center. It was here Wooyoung showed you the specific places that money drops would be made or sometimes casual business talk. Not at the mall, no, but a little deeper into the district, where adult shops and hookah bars were. “These places are run by the Golden Circle, but that one is run by the Red Wolves-” He pointed over at a lingerie shop, “- never shop there alone. It might look run down but their security is top notch, Yeosang can’t get in without hacking and that could be dangerous.” Frowning, you glanced at the small screen where the techie was already avoiding your eyes. “Why is their security so difficult? Isn’t Yeosang like a genius?” Wooyoung nodded solemnly. “He is, but hacking that would give away who is hacking. Yeosang’s the only one who can hack his own code safely and they know that.” “Wooyoung!” Yeosang hissed out, sneering now at the man next to you. “I was a kid I didn’t- you make it seem like I work for them!”
You hadn’t thought of it until he said it, tingling more alarms in your head. Just how good was Yeosang then? If he was the best? If even as a kid his code was so good that no other could hack it safely? How much of their undercover, or work, was as a detective, a pursuer of justice? The things Wooyoung had already revealed had you second guessing what you knew about this unit, about how deep they went. Was all this necessary to stop organized crime in the city? Was it even making a difference? Unaware you were spacing out, you snapped back to reality when Yeosang spoke your name. Your eyes flickered to his on the screen, taking in the hint of concern there; he was getting easier to read. “We do a lot of things we aren’t proud of on this team, and before, but I swear we want nothing more than to stop the ceaseless violence and crime. The inhumanity of it.” He sounded so sincere, and for a moment you were swayed. But then why did it matter to Yeosang what you thought? Why did he feel the need to clarify? It only made you more suspicious.
Before, you had been worried that maybe they thought you were tied to one of the groups, that you were corrupt. You never once thought the possibility might be reversed. Seonghwa’s family company. Yeosang’s programs being in the hands of the criminals. Wooyoung’s childhood in the red light district.
Were they really just detectives? Really out here to serve and protect?
Would they kill you off if you got in the way?
Schooling your features as best you could, you smiled at Yeosang, almost sweetly. “I believe you. Now, why shouldn’t I go there? If it’s only the security that is tight?”
Yeosang swallowed, looking away almost as if ashamed but Wooyoung was the one who answered. “That’s one of the stores they use to scope out potential products for their sex trafficking ring. So, again, don’t go in there.”
Now what fate would be worse? Kidnapped by the red wolves for sex trafficking, or torture by your new unit. Gee, you were liking the former.
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gurugirl · 1 year ago
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Just For Tonight | Ch. 2
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Series Summary: Harry spots an angel in the crowd and he can't keep his eyes off of her. And, as if by some cosmic pull, he can't help but ask her backstage. But it's only going to be just for tonight. Or is it?
Chapter Summary: Y/n's pretty sure she'll never see or hear from Harry again. They had a fun night but he made it clear that it was only just the once. Except Harry can't seem to follow his own rules.
Warning: 18+ only, smut
Word Count: 10,501
Commissioned by anon (thank you!! xoxo)
Just For Tonight Masterlist
Having a night with Harry Styles was like having one of those hot-girl secrets that only the most privileged were in on. But what that also meant was that she couldn’t really go talking all about it to everyone either.
She would have loved to have posted on Instagram all about it. Bragged about having seen his cock and then having it inside of her. She would have loved to have seen Dyna’s face when she told her that Harry Styles had eaten her out and spanked her. Dyna was one of those acquaintances in her friend group who was smug and pretty but rude. Thought her shit didn’t stink.
And well, she never would tell anyway. Not only would she never brag about what she’d done with someone during sex, but she wouldn’t want to betray anyone that way.
But it was kind of a bummer that she couldn’t talk about it all. Ady drilled her for information and Y/n had already decided that she’d only spill the details to her best friend, whom she could actually trust. Ady was a work friend at best. She trusted Ady, but not with that kind of secret.
All Ady knew was that Y/n had spent the night with Harry Styles. And when she arrived at the office on Monday morning, half of her co-workers had already heard about it.
“That’s why I didn’t give you details, Ady. You shouldn’t be saying anything to anyone.” Y/n replied as she bit into her sandwich. Ady was trying to extract more information from her.
“But I would never tell anyone those details, Y/n! Come on. Just give me something. Any tattoos we don’t know about? Is his dick as big as everyone thinks it is?”
Y/n rolled her eyes and stood up from her chair, tossing the crust of her sandwich into the garbage, and completely ignoring Ady on her way back to her desk.
After a few days, the gossip had died down and Ady had pretty much given up. Y/n was glad everyone had stopped talking about it and asking her uncomfortable questions.
And while on the outside it had appeared Y/n had moved on completely, on the inside she couldn’t stop replaying the night with Harry over and over again.
Especially when she was alone in her bedroom at night.
Y/n had a housemate. She lived in a two-bedroom bungalow with a microscopic backyard, street parking, and the tiniest closet known to man. And still, she could barely afford to make rent each month. But Brad was nice. And he allowed her to pay a little late sometimes. She didn’t often pay late. Maybe a handful of times over the year.
But it also helped that Brad had a bit of a crush on Y/n. She didn’t want to be that person but it came in handy in this case.
“I’m so sorry. I get paid next Friday and I’ll pay you first thing. Just didn’t keep track of my spending again this month.” It was slightly embarrassing. She wasn’t careless about how she spent her money but that month she had the Harry Styles concert, bought a hotel room (which she didn’t even sleep in), and spent a little extra on her cute new bodysuit. She had saved up her money but overspent just a tiny bit. Okay so maybe she was a little careless with her money at times. And she was getting too old to keep living paycheck to paycheck. It was time to start putting money away.
And she couldn’t do that with her current job and all the bills she had on top of that.
Y/n was going to have to find a second job. Anything so she could get her footing and pay off some loans, and then maybe she could breathe a little.
“No worries, Y/n. I’m good for it until then.” Brad smiled. She could tell he was getting tired of it, though. And for that alone, the embarrassment of having to ask if he could cover her part for a handful of days and to see his expression of pity and probably a little bit of annoyance, yeah. It was time to find a second job.
Her cousin was the floor manager at a posh, expensive restaurant downtown that Y/n would have never dreamed of stepping foot into. Not normally anyway. But there was a job opening for a server spot that her cousin had casually mentioned a week prior. She didn’t know if the position had been filled or not and if they would give her that prime weekend shift but there was only one way to find out.
“Y/n! Hi! How are you?” Laren answered chipper and sweet.
“Hi. Uh… good! How are you?”
Small talk commenced before Y/n finally got into the nitty gritty of why she was calling.
“Oh? The server position? It hasn’t been filled actually. We’ve been interviewing, though. You should come in and apply. I can put in a good word.”
The position was for two weekday nights and rotating a Sunday and Saturday every other week with a draw for the occasional Friday night (the coveted night to serve apparently). It wasn’t ideal but she figured she’d at least apply and see what happened.
Y/n had been a server in college so she was familiar with the work. It was hard, stressful at times, but tips could be good with the right tables.
And part of her didn’t want to waitress again. She was already working 40 hours at her office job. This would leave her with very little free time. But she needed to do something because every time she thought about how she was late on rent again it made her cringe and flush hot with embarrassment.
The interview process was fairly painless. And the fact that her cousin already worked there seemed to be in her favor because the very next afternoon she was getting a call to come back in to begin training. She’d gotten the position.
And it was just as hard as she imagined it would be. Shadowing one of the servers felt strange. She started on a Tuesday night since it would be a relatively slow night. Rushing from her office job to get home, changing into her uniform, and then racing through heavy traffic to get to the restaurant gave her a good idea of how it would be for her on the nights she worked during the weekdays.
Her past experience was a blessing. She only needed to shadow for two weeks before they started letting her have her own tables. Everyone on staff was easy to get along with on some level.
She did learn, though, that Vyra was upset that they were letting her take a weekend night shift so early on. Vyra was also a server who’d been at The Dulcería for a couple of years and wasn’t allowed weekend shifts until she’d been serving for a while.
“Tell them I’ll take your ten top tonight. I don’t think you’re quite ready for the level of service you’ll need to provide.” Vyra placed her tray down and faced Y/n as she spoke.
Y/n had just arrived at the restaurant for her first weekend evening shift by herself. She didn’t even know she had a ten top as she’d only just walked into the door.
“I… okay, well, let me at least put my stuff down. I’ll talk to Mannie and find out what he wants before I ask for that.” She was already annoyed. Not ready for the level of service… Just for that comment alone, Y/n was going to make sure she kept the table and was the best damn waitress that ten top could ever have that night.
“I’m telling you that it’s going to be better for you to just give me the table. We’ll switch off. They’re gonna be here all night.”
Y/n put her purse in the locker and turned to look at Vyra, “How do you know they’re gonna be here all night?”
“Because the reservation was very specific about how long they would be here. Probably someone famous honestly. Just tell Mannie you’re giving me your section.”
Sighing as she clicked the lock into place and tied her apron around her waist she shook her head, “We’ll see.”
Y/n checked the schedule for the night and realized, the only table that she was assigned was the ten top Vyra had mentioned. Which was interesting. Looking at the name on the reservation it didn’t ring any bells for her as to who could be in the party that would require her to stay with them all night but she knew she could take care of the table on her own. Even if they were famous and picky and maybe demanding. There were only ten of them. And it was her only table.
After the first two guests had arrived and were brought to the table by the hostess, Mannie signaled to her to greet them at the table and get some drinks started.
“You didn’t tell Mannie to let me take over. You didn’t even ask. I think it’s in your best int–“
“I’ve got it, Vrya. I appreciate your concern but I’m fine. Really,” she spoke as she neared the private area of the dining room where her table was.
“No. I don’t think you understand, Y/n. You’re new at this–“
Y/n stopped abruptly and Vrya nearly ran into her, “Stop. I’ve waited tables before. And Mannie wanted me to have this one. Just… go back to your tables and give it a rest.”
The pair at the table were dressed extremely casually, which was unusual for the restaurant. Most people entering the doors of The Dulcería wore designer and dressed appropriately in smart casual.
“Hi. I’m Y/n. I’ll be taking care of you tonight. Would you like me to get you started with anything? Wine for the table or appetizers for when everyone else starts to arrive?”
The young woman at the table ordered three bottles of wine to start and a handful of appetizers. Easy enough.
When Y/n returned to the private area with a cart full of wine and water she stopped in her tracks. More of the party had arrived but now she recognized two of them. She blinked her eyes and swallowed as she felt her heart rate pick up before pushing the cart forward again and closer to the table. She could be seeing things, she told herself.
As she neared the party she honed in on the man with his back to her with chocolate brown curls and broad shoulders. Was this…? It couldn’t be.
And yet she was sure it was. Based on the fact that she was looking right at Jeff Azoff and his adorable wife Glenne… She gulped as she parked the cart at the edge of the room and plucked up one of the bottles of red wine to uncork.
Carrying the bottle and a glass of wine toward the young woman who ordered it, she was suddenly aware that all eyes were on her as she turned the label side out toward her. But before she could pour a taste sample the young woman pointed at the man with his brown curls at the other end of the table, “It’s his to taste.”
She let out a quick breath to ground herself and closed her eyes for only a moment before turning to see those bright green eyes already on her. The big grin on his face told her he recognized her immediately. Of course he did.
She smiled, taking a step back, and slowly walked toward Harry to give him the first taste of the wine.
Pouring the liquid into the glass slowly as she stood to his left Harry finally spoke, “I didn’t know you worked here. How have you been?”
Okay. A standard greeting. Even that alone got her heart aflutter. She wasn’t sure if he’d act like he didn’t know her or if he’d greet her kindly. She would assume the latter but of course, one never knows in these circumstances.
“I’ve been well. This is actually a new job for me. And uh, how about you? How have you been?”
Harry sipped the wine and nodded, “S’good. Thank you. I’ll have a glass of this one,” he cleared his throat while she poured a serving for him, “And yeah… I’m great. Thank you. We should catch up soon,” he leaned in closer and finished his thought, “Kind of wish I’d gotten your number.” He spoke the last sentence a little softer so only she could hear.
For the duration of the dinner it was difficult to have any kind of real conversation with Harry while she was taking orders and running back and forth but each time she returned Harry made sure to get in a comment or ask her a question. She noticed the looks from a few of the people sitting around the table.
Heading back into the kitchen to grab their meals she noticed Vrya walking toward her side of the restaurant where the private dining room was. By then, all the servers heard about who was in the private dining room. Most didn’t make a fuss about it but a couple of them were curious.
With the tray loaded she delicately walked back toward her guests and spotted Vrya next to Harry and chatting. Technically Vyra wasn’t allowed to speak to guests at Y/n’s table unless she requested help. It wasn’t a big deal normally, but since Harry was a celebrity, a famous pop star, it would be frowned upon. This wasn’t some Deux Moi tell-all Sunday sightings gossip rag. This was a posh, upscale restaurant where wealthy people and celebrities came to enjoy a quiet meal without being disturbed or spotted. Mannie was not going to be happy about Vrya taking it upon herself to check on Y/n’s table. She couldn’t wait to talk to Laren about Vyra as well. She wished her cousin was there that night so she could vent but she’d be calling her about this later.
Placing the tray onto the stand Y/n frowned at Vrya as they made eye contact, “I was just seeing if everything was going well. Since you’re new and all,” Vrya laughed and looked down at Harry, “Plus having such a big star here we need to make sure service is perfect.”
Harry smiled at Y/n, “Y/n here been more than perfect. You’ve nothing to worry about. I’m sure we all agree,” he gestured toward everyone at the table, “we are in the most capable hands here. Couldn’t be happier.”
The fake smile on the intruder was telling as Y/n began to bring dishes around the table, “Thanks for checking in on me Vrya. It’s unnecessary, though. I’ll call on help if I need it.”
Standing up straight and nodding at Harry she walked behind Y/n and whispered, “His water glass is low,” and then exited the room.
Y/n had no idea what she’d done that would have Vyra acting like such a child. She was polite to Vrya but she really wanted to yank her hair out and shove her out the window for sticking her nose into business that wasn’t hers. But she figured she was better off ignoring the whole thing.
“So, Y/n…” one of the guys at the table spoke up, “We hear that you and Harry met at a recent concert. How did you enjoy the show?”
She felt her neck get hot as she fumbled with the notepad in her apron pocket, “Oh… it was awesome. Yeah. I gave him a pair of sunglasses that he wore that night on stage. That’s pretty much how we met. Brought a co-worker with me. A blast. It was the first concert I’ve been to.” She smiled and then quickly corrected, “First Harry Styles concert that is!”
The look on Harry’s face was cheeky. He was holding in an obvious grin on his face as he gazed at her. She was a nervous thing in this setting. Harry remembered quite well how sure of herself and confident she’d been that night. How she was practically dominating him, leading everything that happened. Mostly.
And even though he made it clear that what had happened was just for that night, he realized he’d been fantasizing about her a lot since then. In fact, every time he touched himself his thoughts made their way to Y/n just before he could come. He hadn’t even slept with anyone since. Not that he’d been holding out for her or anything. He had been thinking about her a lot, though. Missing her even. He was quite delighted that she was his server and that he happened to meet her once again. It felt like fate maybe.
And Harry was a big believer in fate and the universe shifting and creating space and paths for humanity. He was a believer in karma and destiny and intertwined lives. And so because of that Harry was sure this meant something.
When the restaurant was shut down and the servers were calling it a night, Y/n was clearing the table and refilling the last of the wine for everyone. She was told not to rush them, and she had no intention of doing so. She was enjoying the table. Everyone was polite and easy to please. There were no difficult requests or off-the-wall dietary restrictions.
Though Harry was particular with his order (the man was clearly eating strictly healthy which made sense given the state of his body, which she was quite acquainted with) it was easy to accommodate. Plus his presence had set her in a good mood. He was gentle and sweet and everyone in his party was the same.
And the way Harry kept looking at her, as if he knew something she didn’t somehow… a teasing grin, slightly stifled… she was all nerves and butterflies and big smiles. It had been an amazing night at work. It hardly felt like work at all.
Exiting the bathroom after a much-needed bladder release she walked up the hallway but was stopped short when she heard his voice, “What are you doing after you get off?”
His deep rasp had her tummy boiling as she turned and saw him leaning against the frame where the hallway met the corner of the entry to the kitchen. Stepping back toward him she looked up at his sharp green eyes and shook her head, “Going home.”
That smirk, the one that hid what he was really thinking deep down slowly widened until he was grinning full-on, “Where’s home?”
Looking behind her and then over his shoulder to make sure no one was nearby she squinted her eyes at him, “Why do you want to know?”
Harry sighed and softened his stance, putting his arms down to his sides, “Because. I was gonna ask a follow-up question and figured it might be important to know if my place is closer or yours.”
She let out a soft laugh in surprise and now her ears were growing warm, “At this hour… A fifteen-minute drive away.”
Harry nodded and reached a hand out to her apron, pulling gently at the bow, “Got it. Would you be interested in having me over tonight?”
Cocking her head and keeping her eyes squinted in scrutiny she responded, “And why would you want to come over to my place?”
She felt like this was obvious. She could have answered this question on her own. But she wanted to hear it from him. Wanted to be sure she was on the same page as him.
He leaned in and lowered his voice, keeping a finger looped into her apron’s bow, “Seeing you tonight has reminded me of how much fun we had. I know I said it was only a one-time thing but maybe we could make it a two-time thing,” he smiled broadly and shrugged.
Harry was a confident guy. He wasn’t typically turned down. In fact, on the rare occasion he was turned down it usually had nothing to do with him. So he was pretty sure Y/n would be happy to have him. But even as sure of himself as he felt, he was feeling his nerves peak at the idea she would say no.
“A two-time thing. Okay… well I do have a roommate. His bedroom is connected to the wall next to mine. Privacy is an issue. If you’re okay with that then I’d say… sure.”
Harry let out a laugh through his nose, though it was more out of relief than due to anything being funny, “What makes you think I want to be in your bedroom? Maybe I just wanted to stop by for a movie. Or we could bake cookies or something.”
Harry laughed at the obvious nonsense he’d just spewed. They both knew what this was.
“Oh? So you want to like watch a movie and bake some shit? I’m down with that. I don’t think I have the ingredients to make cookies or anything but I’m sure we could stop somewhere and grab flour–“
Harry pinched at her hip and stepped in close, “I was kidding…”
Now it was Y/n’s turn to laugh before she straightened her back as much as possible and put on a serious face. With his proximity, she was bent slightly back to look up at him, “You were? So you mean you don’t want to bake cookies with me?”
Harry’s grin and his hands at her hips were soft, “I don’t want to bake cookies with you. I want to get you in bed again.”
Well okay. There it was. She knew that’s what it was but to hear him say it out loud had her head spinning and her heart pounding.
She nodded, “Right. So… how do we do it? You want me to drive or…?”
Harry shook his head with a laugh, “Give me your number.”
.           .           .
Harry and his crew left before Y/n did. She’d given him her number and he texted her back right away. It was surreal. Just like how she felt the first time she met him. She almost didn’t believe it was happening.
Vyra was cold for the rest of the night but after the huge tip left, Y/n could understand why. Harry’s table had been her only table of the night. Her shift was only four hours but they stayed the entire time. She figured Vyra knew that some celebrities tipped well and wanted in on that.
In fact, the tip had been so big she had to sit down when she realized the number written in the tip line with a small smiley face next to it. She’d have a talk to Harry about this. It was far more than necessary. Even after splitting the tips up between the kitchen and the bussers in the system, it left her with enough money to cover rent and all her bills for a month. Yeah. Excessive.
She texted Harry the minute she parked her car in front of her house. It was well after midnight. She wasn’t sure he’d actually come, still in disbelief about it all. The fact that he was there and that she was assigned to that table felt like pure luck. Fate if you believed in that kind of thing. Which she didn’t. Not normally anyway.
His return text came back quickly.
On my way.
Quickly showering off her sweat and the smell of cooked food then shaving her legs she tried to calm herself down. The night with Harry in the hotel room she’d been perfectly groomed and ready for anything that might happen. Not that she expected it that night, but one never knows. Going to a Harry Styles concert and having the chance to catch his eye wasn’t something she’d half-ass. She never in a million years would have thought he’d have pointed her out while he was singing and then proceed to bring her back to his suite. But he did.
And this evening, she wasn’t fully groomed but smooth legs and clean bits were the least she could offer in such a short amount of time. She laughed to herself as she thought about it all. Wondered if he’d even care if she was a little sweaty. She wasn’t going to chance it.
When he texted that he was out front she took a few deep breaths and looked in the mirror one last time just to be sure before dashing to the front door as quietly as possible (so as not to wake Brad) to let the famous pop star into her small, rented bungalow.
She gestured to Harry with a finger to keep quiet, “My roommate is sleeping. Do you need water? The bathroom?”
Harry’s grin revealed that he needed only one thing. And neither had anything to do with what she’d just offered.
“I take it no baking cookies, then?”
They grinned at each other as she led him to her room.
Her bedroom was cute. She had cream curtains that draped down to the floor, a wooden dresser with a framed photo of Y/n with her family atop, a coaster from a local bar, a box that appeared to be a jewelry case, and a carton of tissues. Her bed was made and the comforter looked fluffy with a pretty pink and yellow flower pattern all over it. Framed prints of plants and flowers on her walls and a standing lamp in one corner. A closed door, which was definitely hiding a closet behind. A nightstand on either side of her bed.
“Cute,” Harry spoke as he looked everything over and then brought his gaze back to the woman he’d been fantasizing about since their last night together.
“Yeah. Uh… this is it.” She shrugged and felt her tummy warm up under his scrutiny. He was staring at her and she knew he was there for one thing only.
Sitting on her bed she sighed and attempted to lighten the mood, “So… that tip was way too big, Harry. I can’t possibly accept such a thing. I don’t think–“
Harry shushed her as he sat down and took her hand in his, “Nonsense. You are an amazing server and deserve every penny of that. Probably more even.”
His light eyes were scalding. Every inch of skin he took in she felt sizzle.
“Thank you. Just feels weird. Especially now that you’re here…” she laughed quietly.
“Now that I’m here? What do you mean?” His fingers wound into hers, his thumb moving along the edge of her hand. Such an innocent gesture, giving her goosebumps. Though she was well aware his intentions weren’t innocent.
“I mean… Like you just gave me a bunch of money and now you’re in my bedroom,” she smiled and tried to maintain eye contact but it was hard with how gorgeous he was.
“This is separate from that, Y/n. You should know that. I just missed you which is why I wanted to come here. You’re just really good,” he looked at the bed and then back to her, “You know… in this setting.” He grinned wide.
“In this setting?” She laughed at his words and shook her head.
The grin dropped from Harry’s face as he brought his free hand up to cup her jaw, “Can I kiss you? I missed these lips so much. I’ve been thinking of them since that first time with you.”
Nodding her head she felt him pull at her thigh just as his lips found hers.
Things had shifted since the last time she saw him. Somehow it felt a little different. Maybe more intimate in some way. It was probably because they were in her bedroom rather than a hotel suite, and this was the second time they’d be seeing each other in this context. But there was something else there too. She was feeling… less sure of herself. She still had the confidence she needed to kiss him back and unbutton his shirt, but unlike last time when she was feeling very forward, this time something kept her slightly reserved.
And Harry noted her softer demeanor. He didn’t mind it, though. In fact, this time he was feeling like he wanted to show her how good he could be. Give her a taste of him taking the lead and maybe have her begging him a bit. He was in a bit of a mood that night. He was glad that he saw her in the restaurant because it’d been a month since he’d gotten laid (and it just so happened the last person he’d had sex with was Y/n) and she was the only girl he could think of that would scratch the itch he had.
Y/n was pressed back into the mattress as Harry pulled her sweatpants off, “Do you want to feel good, Y/n?”
She nodded and puffed a laugh out, “Well… yeah…” She thought that was an obvious answer and the way she responded told Harry she was mocking him.
Harry paused the movements of his hands as he stuck his fingers into her panty’s waistband. He cocked his brow up at her in warning before he popped her thigh with a smack. She laughed and sat up with her mouth dropped open in surprise.
“Behave. I was just asking a question. Wanna try that answer again?”
She swallowed and blinked her eyes, “Yes, Harry. I want to feel good.” She smirked at him. Her answer was still lined with cheek but he’d give her a pass. He wanted to see her.
He smiled and nodded before proceeding to pull her panties down her legs, “Good. Because that’s what we’re here for. To feel good. Take your shirt off for me.”
Y/n was relieved that Harry seemed to pick up where she was lacking. She didn’t know what had her feeling so permissive but they seemed to be on the same page. She peeled her shirt off over her head and Harry spread her legs apart, fitting himself in between her thighs.
He was still mostly dressed. His shirt was unbuttoned and his jeans were undone. Both Y/n’s doing, but that was as far as it had gone with getting him out of his clothes before he stopped her and began to tell her he was going to get her naked.
“Can you take your bra off too? Need it all off.” He waved his hand toward her chest as he directed his sight to the space between her thighs. It felt so vulnerable to have him clothed while she was naked. But she did as he said and removed her bra for him.
The dim lamp in her room kept everything visible. Harry could tell she was already a bit wet. The gleam peeking out from her labia had his tummy on fire. He couldn’t wait to feel her again. Slip his cock right in and drive into her. He imagined he’d need to keep her mouth covered while he was fucking her to keep her quiet because he recalled how loud she was the first time they’d been together.
But before he could indulge himself in feeling the juicy stretch of her around him, he was determined to have her come in his mouth and on his fingers first. She didn’t orgasm when he ate her out the last time and that was something that stuck with him. He had nowhere to be the following morning and given that it was a Sunday he figured she was free as well so they could play for a lot longer this time around. Not that that stopped them from having a good romp and then a quick fuck in the morning the last time, but he planned to take his sweet time with her now.
He smoothed his hands up her thighs and licked his lips, “I’m gonna lick your pretty pussy until you come and then if you’re still well behaved maybe I’ll let you taste my cock for a bit before I fuck you. How’s that sound?”
She nodded and moaned softly, “Mmm… That sounds so good.”
Harry smiled and pressed his thumb over her clit and gently began to rub back and forth, “It does doesn’t it? I missed this with you, angel. Can’t believe I thought it was just going to be the one time. Seems as though fate had a different idea.”
She scrunched her brows and an ooh feel from her mouth at the feel of his thumb on her clit and his soft words.
Harry leaned over her body, the fabric of his shirt dragging over her tummy as he dipped down to wrap his mouth around her pebbled nipple. She craned her neck back into the soft pillow and sighed at the feel of him on her. His lips on her breast and his thumb on her wet nub.
By the time he’d licked and sucked the expanse of both of her breasts, she was completely on edge. On fire. His teasing thumb gently rolling her clit back and forth was making her lose it.
“Fuck… please, Harry,” she whispered as she stuffed her fingers into his hair. He lifted off her breast and looked up at her, “What is it, angel? Please what?”
“I just… I want you to fuck me. Now.”
Harry sat back onto his haunches and looked at where his hand was at her pussy. All wet and shiny for him, “What did I say?” He looked back into her eyes, “Don’t you remember what I said I was gonna do first?”
She let out a shaky breath, “I do. I just thought you could skip it if you wanted. Really want to feel you again.”
He kept his thumb working her clit as he groaned, “I want to feel you too. But I have to have a go at you first. Want to put my mouth right here,” he slid his thumb upward and pressed down, “and make you come.”
Her tongue poked out from her lips as she kept her mouth parted. Heavy lids and wiggly hips.
Harry loved the way she looked. Like she was ready for whatever was to come. She was desperate for him and he already had her saying please. He loved a little begging when he could get it.
“Little tongue coming out to say hello,” he reached forward and pressed his finger onto her pink muscle and she immediately wrapped her lips around his digit. His own mouth dropped open at her desperation. Her tongue pressed into the pad of his finger and she sucked him in.
“Shit, angel. I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good. Okay? Don’t worry.”
He felt her lift upward into his hand and he got the hint. She needed something.
Pulling his finger out of her mouth and taking his hand from her pussy he pulled his shirt off over his shoulders and knelt down, pressing his fingers through her crease, coating his digits in her slippery essence.
He looked up at her face as he plunged two fingers into her hole and then lowered his mouth over her cunt and she bellowed loudly before putting her arm over her mouth to keep herself quiet. She’d have to keep herself in check with the noises but her concern about Brad being right next to her room was slowly dissolving.
Harry chuckled into her labia as his tongue slipped up and down, lapping at her arousal.
It was soft but every time he puckered his lips and ran his tongue up and down her clit she felt a spark lighting up her insides.
Her moans were muffled under her arm. But she was so wet that everything in her room sounded exactly like what was happening. Harry’s lips and tongue and fingers moved through her wet labia and creamy arousal and she wished she could record the sounds to listen to later.
Harry’s heart was pounding in his chest and he curled his fingers and dragged the tips along her soft ridges on the inside. He flattened his tongue over her clit and slurped before quickly sweeping his tongue back and forth. Her little squeak was a good sign. He smiled.
When he felt her fingers in his hair, pulling gently she began to roll her hips into his face. He lifted up to take a look at her as much as he could with her fingers on his head. She was gorgeous. Her wet pussy was smeared all over his face, her tits swayed softly as she arched and writhed, her hair was splayed out across her pillow, soft thighs parted.
Then he noticed the way she was fucking herself down onto his fingers. Her hips began to move faster and her pathetic mewls were falling muffled from her mouth.
Harry lowered his lips back to her pussy and she sighed in relief. But he only applied a sloppy kiss to her mound before looking back up at her. He moved his free hand up her body and pushed her arm off her face, tilting his head up to speak, “Keep your eyes on me, angel. You can be a good girl stay quiet. I know you can,” he pumped his fingers into her as he spoke against her pussy in hot breaths.
She adjusted her body slightly, using the pillow to help keep her neck angled so she could watch him. To keep her eyes on his. She gasped and tried to stifle her moans as she watched him dig in with his whole face.
His pretty green eyes were mostly pupil, dark with only the edges of crystal green surrounding. She put her other hand into his hair and cradled the back of his head. The hand he wasn’t using to finger her had her thigh held down, his fingers pinching into her soft skin.
But then he used his tongue to move quickly back and forth over her clit while thrusting his fingers deep, curling into the right spot. And there was something about his eyes watching her that made her flush hot. His steady gaze seeped into her brain and wrapped itself around all those bits that supplied dopamine and caused a craving that would be hard to shake.
His fingers were stuffed so deep inside of her that she knew he must be getting his knuckles drenched. Probably his whole hand given how wet everything sounded. The bend of his fingers inside of her and the pressure on her clit, when he sucked her, pulled a loud groan from her lungs. But it didn’t stop him from continuing the sloppy lapping and slurping.
Pulling his hair tighter between her fingers she bucked her hips into his face and tried to close her legs slightly by instinct. Harry kept her one thigh pressed down hard and he used his shoulder to hold her other side down.
She cried out, “Oh god!” And threw her head back, removing her eyes from Harry’s just as she felt the spark turn into a harsh current that began to tip her into the edge of her orgasm. She knew it had been too loud. Knew that it might have woken up her housemate but she was too far away from caring about that just then. Her pussy was being snacked on in a way she’d never experienced in her life.
Harry dug himself in deeper when he could tell she was close. Her loud cry and the quiver of her thighs were a good sign. He kept at what he was doing and looked up at her soft tits as she arched her back and moaned his name.
When she began to clamp down on his fingers and her moans moved into a steady stream of whining and whimpering and her muscles tensed he knew he’d gotten her to come finally. He allowed her to have her eyes closed because he could tell it was intense. He’d have her watching him next time he made her come on his cock.
Which reminded him of what sort of state he was in. His hard dick was painfully achy. But the anticipation for what was to come had him reeling as he licked her through to her end, keeping his fingers inside of her, working her until she slowed her hips and loosened the grip on his curls.
He sat back, grabbing her hands from his hair, and looked over his handiwork. Her pussy was ready to be fucked. She was ripe for more. He knew she’d be good for another orgasm. Her body was made for this.
When she finally opened her eyes she giggled as he leaned over her frame. His face was all wet. His chin, his cheeks, and his nose were shiny with her. She followed him with her eyes as he climbed over her.
Somewhere in between her coming and right then, he’d removed his pants and boxer briefs. His cock hung heavy over her face, “Open.”
She was flat on her back as she opened her mouth for him, reaching a hand up to grasp the base of his cock to guide him to her mouth. She felt his warm tip against her lip, the smear of his precome and her slippery arousal wetting the edge of her mouth before she wrapped her lips around him.
The groan he let out was the sound of pure sex. She had barely done a thing but she was already smiling to herself at the way she made him whine.
Harry held onto the headboard with one hand and used his other to grasp the back of her head as he pushed himself down into her throat. He’d only dip in a few times. Make her swallow and gag around him once her twice because he wanted to fuck her. Wanted to feel her again.
She closed her eyes when Harry’s tip dragged against the back of her throat. He pumped himself into her a few times and she swallowed as she gagged around him. The whimper he let out made her brain swirl. She was thoroughly enjoying having her throat fucked. He wasn’t going in too hard but he was taking control of her and dipping in until she was coughing and drooling.
He pulled himself out and looked down at her, moving his hand up to her cheek with a grin, “My god, angel. Just so fucking perfect.”
She was still catching her breath. From her orgasm, from having his cock in her throat, from the intensity of the moment…
She could hear him ripping the condom wrapper open before he was back in view. He sat between her legs on his haunches as he softly moved his palms over her thighs and up to her hips, “Gonna give me another one? Come on cock this time?”
She planted her gaze on his and nodded, “Yes…” her words were a whisper.
The cheeky grin Harry returned to her had her heart fluttering. He was so painfully attractive she felt like this was all a dream.
“Good. Need you to keep your eyes on me this time, okay?” He paused as she nodded, “Want to watch your face when I make you come. Might have to cover your mouth if you get too loud like you just were. Is that okay?”
Another quick nod and a moan told him she was on board.
Harry moved his hands up her sides, pressing his fingers into her soft skin and up to her breasts, kneading at them for a moment before lining himself up to her hole, “Look at me.”
They kept their eyes locked as he slowly pressed in past her tight opening. Harry knew that if they went without a condom he might come inside of her and not want to pull out. If she felt as good as she did with a condom, he knew he’d be falling in love and down on one knee if he felt her without.
Her puffy, juicy pussy was taking him in just as he remembered. He had to work himself in and out a bit before he finally got himself into her balls deep. He would have loved to tuck himself in further but he was halted from his thick, full balls.
“Feel that, angel?” He groaned quietly as she nodded nodded in gasps. “Yeah? It’s so fucking deep, isn’t it? Love the way you spread open for me,” he rocked into her and pulled back, listening to the slick sounds it made.
He put his palms on the mattress with his body leaned over hers, using his strong back and thighs to fuck into her as deep as he could. He just wanted to be stuffed inside of her guts, fucking into her as far as humanly possible. And she felt that too. It was deep. The sharp ache made her keen but the drag of his pelvis against her clit felt otherworldly.
Her thighs were pushed back, bent at the knee as Harry laid himself into her over and over again. Thick, deep, languid strokes.
“Ahhhh!” She cried when he smacked into her, pushing her upward slightly.
Harry groaned and kept his eyes on hers, “Yeah? It’s that good, huh? Gonna have to cover your mouth now because I’m about to go a little harder.” She wanted harder. Liked soft too, but hard stuck around for days. Loved the feeling of having her pussy fucked so good she was reminded of it later on. Just like the first time they were together. She felt him every time she sat down or stood up for two days. Felt the leftover ache on her thighs and the burn on her bottom.
Harry angled himself down, pushing her thighs apart further with one hand and covering her mouth with his other. And his sudden punishing thrusts had her eyes going wide. It hadn’t been expected so quickly but he got right to it.
He could feel the vibrations of her moans against his palm as he buried himself in and pulled back to his tip before he hammered back into her repeatedly. Long, deep, fast strokes.
She was already rolling her eyes into the back of her head. He wanted her to watch him but he’d give her a small break and make her open them when she was coming. He wanted to watch her face and her eyes as she reached her peak.
Her bed creaked and the springs danced loudly. Muffled sounds of moans and the wet slap of skin filled her bedroom. Harry didn’t necessarily want her roommate to hear them but he did enjoy all the noises that came with sex. And in all honesty, they were both being as quiet as possible given how hard he was fucking her.
His thighs burned from the thrusts and his back muscles held himself steady over her, “Listen to that, angel. Our bodies connecting like that. How wet you are for me…” he moaned his words as he watched her face screw up in ecstasy. Her muted noises were stifled with his palm as he wrecked her insides.
She felt every inch of him taking her. Every slip and thrust, drag and pull, every deep nudge inside… She opened her eyes to see him already looking down at her and she nearly lost it. His hair was in his face, curls swaying, sweat building at his temples, his arms were flexing as he held himself up over her, his chest flushed and glistening from the intensity of his thrusts into her. He was so strong and so overpowering she felt like a rag doll under him flopping and grunting under his hand. She was just a hole to fuck as she clenched down on him when he pasted his hips to hers and rocked inward sharply.
“Keep those eyes open, angel. I can tell you’re about to come on my cock and I need you to look at me so you know who’s making you come,” he spoke his words through gasped breaths as he pushed into her deeply, slowing his thrusts so he could control his own orgasm. He was too close and he knew she was nearly there.
He rocked his hips into hers he ground himself down when he stuffed himself in fully, making sure her clit was being smushed against for friction. Repeatedly he fucked her little hole with slow plunges and smoothed against her clit. Every time he screwed into her to the hilt he felt his balls pressing into her bum, being wetted by her creamy arousal. He keened at the feel of her around him. Every little ridge of her insides taking him in like they were made for that very thing had him spinning.
Harry removed his hand from her mouth. He wanted to see her whole face as he fucked into her. Wanted to watch her mouth drop open as she creamed on his cock when she came, wanted to hear her cries, fuck anyone else that might hear. In that moment it was all about his angel and how good she was feeling. All he cared about was that she was being taken care of and that he was making her feel as good as she deserved.
“Harry, please… oh my god please…” she gasped as she clung tight to his back. His cock inside of her felt full and had her walls tingling and fluttering. She was reeling with pleasure and having him inside of her. Never wanted that feeling to go away. If she could bottle it up and take it with her she would. So she tried to stave off her orgasm for a moment longer.
“Begging me, baby? Want to come so bad don’t you? But it feels so good like this doesn’t it?” He used a hand to hold the side of her face as if he were being gentle with her. As if he wasn’t fucking into her deep with harsh ruts inward that had her gasping for air. His words and his soft touches and his hard cock were doing her in.
She tried. She really did. She wanted to have him fucking her like that for hours but she couldn’t hold on any longer. She began to moan, starting with a low, quiet sound, until she was crying out his name and shaking under him.
She kept her eyes open but found the task difficult as she started to come. And she realized that watching Harry while she came only intensified her orgasm. Her head swirled with his handsome face hovering over hers, looking directly at her as he made her come felt like she was being dominated in a way that she’d never experienced. He hadn’t tied her up or whipped her or anything like that, but it was the sensation of being watched while she was coming that made her feel like he was taking control. The experience of having the man who was making her come as he looked down at her at that moment felt like he’d claimed her as his. He was watching his own work come to fruition and it was a dominant act.
“Fuck, angel. Just like that. Come all over me. She me how good it feels.”
Y/n babbled an unintelligible response and moaned around her syllables and vowels. She didn’t know what she was saying as she forced her eyes to stay on his.
And it had been worth it to keep her eyes open when she saw Harry’s face pinch up and his mouth drop open. She could hear his groan and the harsh thuds into her cunt before he stilled and clenched his teeth as his cock throbbed inside of her. He was coming and she got to see it on the tail end of her own orgasm and it was the hottest thing she’d ever seen.
“Ahhh!” He panted as he sucked in a deep breath and choked out a loud moan. The release was heaven. He came so hard he wondered if it could be possible to leak out of his condom. He pumped and throbbed and worked himself to his end as he looked down at the pretty angel under him all fucked out and smiley on his cock.
His chest heaved as he twitched the last little bit and his features relaxed on the comedown. He kept himself over her as he began to smile, “You okay?”
She was melted below him, a soft smile on her lips as she nodded, “So fucking good. Oh my god…” she whispered.
Harry gently pulled himself off of her and checked to verify that he hadn’t in fact leaked out of his condom before pulling it off and tossing it onto the floor. He’d deal with the cleanup later. In that moment he needed to hold her and kiss her for a while.
She felt her body pulled against his and then his lips caressing over hers. Soft and reassuring. Her orgasm had been intense. Maybe the most incredible orgasm she’d ever had. The eye contact was something she hadn’t expected. She thought it would feel silly. At first, it made her feel vulnerable but when she could tell how much he needed it, needed her eyes on his it felt like a rush. Adrenaline coursed through her veins and she came so hard.
She kissed him back and put her hands up to his shoulders. Lazy and soft and sweet.
Harry pushed his nose into hers and spoke softly, “That was really, really good, Y/n. You don’t mind if I stay the night here, do you?”
Shaking her head she scraped her nails against the nape of his neck, “I want you to stay. Please.”
.           .           .
Waking up in her bed with Harry next to her felt like a wild fantasy. She considered pinching herself as she fluttered her eyes open and saw his sleeping face smushed into her pillow. The night before he’d been a sex god. A man so fine with a masculine and well-muscled body that he made her mouth water and her clit throb. He’d fucked her so good and it was so hot it gave her goosebumps just thinking about it. But there he was lying in her bed asleep, pink lips and glossy eyelids, small puffs of breath coming from his nose, and adorably messy hair. She couldn’t quite wrap her brain around how he went from the man who took control of her the night before to the soft, cute, sleeping beauty the very next morning.
He asked if he could stay. Said he wanted to be with her a little longer. And that was the part that really stuck with her. Sure he was handsome and then some. They got along so well and everything felt so compatible with him. And that was a problem. Because he wasn’t just some guy. This was Harry Styles. She couldn’t go getting her feeling too mixed up in everything. But he made it hard with the way he treated her and handled her. Like they’d known one another for an eternity.
On their first night together it was clear that what they were doing was just something fun and that was it. Which she was fine with. She happily accepted his terms then. Just as she happily said yes to him staying the night this time. Whatever he wanted she was fine with it. Well, she hoped she’d be fine. Because she was sure he’d never get his feelings mixed up with sex when it came to her.
Gently putting her fingers into his hair she saw his eyelids move and then slowly he graced her with his gorgeous eyes and then a soft smile.
He didn’t say anything before he dragged her the short distance to rest her head on the pillow his head was on and kissed her.
And it went from a quiet soft morning make out to Harry’s erection poking into her hip and then scrambling for a condom with messy hair and soft sighs to a slow break of day fuck.
The springs in her bed bounced gently with every thrust of his hips. Harry kept his mouth glued to hers as he drove into her soft, wet pussy. All of her blankets had been kicked to the floor in a rush for the condom and switching positions on the bed and now it was just two bodies at the center finding relief and catching an early orgasm before their day began.
Harry rocked into her, his cock so hard and thick she felt every single inch of him moving into her and slipping back before he languidly pushed in until his hips met hers. She had her ankles crossed over his back and Harry had one hand cradling the back of her head, his mouth covering hers while his other forearm kept himself held up slightly, his chest against hers.
She gasped under him, reaching for breath every time he thrust into her. His own panting grew more desperate and soon the first sound of his voice was heard for the day, a whimpered moan falling from his throat as he felt her walls taking him in with a decadent squeeze and wet squelch.
Morning sex was always Y/n’s favorite, but it turned out it was Harry’s too. It was less fussy really. Just two tired bodies wanting to connect and feel pleasure in the golden morning light. No preamble or big to-do. Just soft morning sex and a delicious orgasm to get the day started off right.
The moment Y/n’s moan grew loud and Harry felt her cunt spasming and pulling him in deeply he let go, spurting into his condom and licking into her mouth as he throbbed in ecstasy.
And just like the night before and the first night she’d spent with him, she was amazed. Maybe it was the shape of his cock or their natural chemistry. Or maybe it was just Harry, but somehow the sex with him was beyond just good sex. She was going to be haunted by this man.
When he pulled out he held her thighs apart and lapped at her gently, just for a taste. Just to enjoy one more little squeal from her throat, which she immediately gifted him.
“Harry stop! I’m too sensitive!” She pushed at his forehead and he smiled up at her before collapsing onto the bed next to her.
He hated navigating relationships because being famous already put his life under a microscope. Most of the time it wasn’t worth it to keep seeing someone for sex unless it was a person he knew feelings would never be a problem with, and they could both have the understanding that it was just sex. But that was rare for him. Harry was all or nothing with sex usually. It was either a one-time deal or he’d want a long-term committed relationship. And the latter was complicated for someone with his lifestyle. His last long-term relationship was something he’d take with him forever. He considered it a lesson learned. And for him that meant needing to be very picky and selective about whom he let into his heart.
No more mixing business with pleasure and then taking on the guilt of having a public break-up. No more women with super complicated lives that he could get mixed up into.
He felt like he was treading dangerously with Y/n. He didn’t want to hurt her and he didn’t want to get himself hurt either. But he could see himself being with someone like her. He liked her spice and her straightforward demeanor. She was confident and funny. She wasn’t the type that he’d be able to keep his feelings separated from the sex with. He was already getting attached.
“What?” He asked her. She was lying next to him, they were sharing a pillow and she had a small smirk on her face as she gazed over his features.
“Nothing. It’s stupid,” her grin didn’t fall off her face.
Harry brought a hand up to her jaw and he thumbed gently toward her temple, “Tell me. I like stupid sometimes,” he laughed.
She bit her lip and looked away from him for a few moments before putting her eyes back on his, “Your song, Watermelon Sugar. It’s about cunnilingus?” Her smile widened feeling ridiculous asking him such a question but she couldn’t get it out of her mind. Ever since the night before when he made her come from eating her out (a rarity for her) and then that morning after they’d had sex when he went in for a quick lick.
Harry laughed and nodded, “I guess. Yeah. Why?”
“Cause you just seem to really like it.”
Harry took in a deep breath and moved his hand down her side, “I love it. Is that okay?”
She looked at him like he was crazy, “Of course it is. Very much so.”
She wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Harry had been fun and sweet. And to know that this famous man could have anyone he wanted yet he chose to spend the night with her felt like something quite special. Something she wouldn’t get the chance to do ever again. To have him in bed at all was a crazy notion. But to have it happen twice?
“I want to see you again. When I get back to LA in a couple of months. Is that okay?” He said as he pulled her in for a hug before they left her bedroom. His car was waiting for him.
His words shocked her. Again?
“Oh. Yeah… Sure. That would be fun.” She was surprised. Stunned. If he wanted to see her again what did that mean? Was he thinking of her as more than just someone to have sex with?
“Well, geez. You don’t sound very enthusiastic about it,” he laughed as he pulled back from the hug.
Shaking her head she grinned, “Just didn’t expect you to want to see me again. You’re gonna be gone for months. I mean… I’d love to. Of course. But you know… No pressure.”
“Of course, there’s no pressure. I’m just saying I’d like to see you again if you’re free when I return to LA. That’s all.”
Letting out the breath she’d held in she nodded, “Yes, Harry. I’d really like that.”
Harry smiled softly and put a hand up to her face to press his palm over her cheek as he looked her over, “Gonna miss you, angel. Wish I could take you with me.”
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kirain · 10 months ago
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Bg3 companions as college roommates?
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Wyll: Despite being a legacy admission, he isn't at all what you expected. In fact, he causes you to reexamine your own personal biases. He's rich, but humble. Privileged, but generous. Popular, but not because he's the son of a duke—in fact, he keeps that detail close to his chest—but because he devotes most of his free time to charity work. He also throws the wildest parties.
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Lae'zel: A foreign exchange student. She's often crude and standoffish, constantly bragging that her education is superior. You don't get along at first, but you soon realise she's homesick and completely out of her element. You offer to help her adjust and she reluctantly, though gratefully, accepts. While you aren't sure if that makes you friends, she at least stops calling you "kainyank".
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Karlach: This woman is insane. She doesn't take her studies seriously and always crams before exams, but somehow she always passes! You feel a tinge of jealousy, since you lack the same good fortune, but you can't hate her. It's impossible. She's a sweetheart who teaches you the definition of fun, often helping you unwind when you need to most.
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Astarion: You don't get much of a chance to know him, as he sleeps all day and only attends night classes. What's worse, he gets expelled within the first week of attendance. You never figure out what he did or why, you only know that the chancellor seemed deeply, deeply traumatised.
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Gale: Kind, attentive, eager to help you with your homework. He's a stellar roommate in every single way ... except for one. He has a habit of running questionable experiments in your dorm, often late into the night, which deprives you of valuable sleep. But he always apologises with a home-cooked meal, so you let it slide. Plus he has a cat.
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Shadowheart: She's very tight-lipped and always turns out the lights, even when you're studying. You're not sure how to feel about her when you first meet, as she's rather aloof and melancholy. Halfway though the semester, however, she suffers a debilitating crisis of faith, which you happily help her overcome. When all is said and done, she considers you her new family.
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Jaheira: She's more like a mother than a roommate. You learn quick that she's a strict taskmaster; you will not leave a mess around the dorm. Cleanliness shows dedication, after all. But you appreciate that. She cares. She wants you to succeed, despite barely knowing you, and she's always willing to listen when you need a shoulder to cry on.
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Minsc: Heavens above, he's the dumbest man you've ever met. Part of you wonders how he even passed the entrance exam, until you discover he didn't. He failed. He's not a student. He just hangs around because he likes you. Yet, for some reason, you find that strangely endearing. Loud and clueless as he is, you feel safe when he's about, and you're quite fond of his hamster.
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Halsin: He's the true definition of a "gentle giant". A chipper jock with a passion for nature and activity. He often drops keen wisdom that aids in your schoolwork, as well as your personal life, making him a near perfect roommate.
...If only he stopped bringing home dates for his late night hanky panky. You can't sleep.
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Minthara: She isn't a roommate, you're just in her room. You should count yourself lucky she tolerates your presence at all. And you better not slack off, because if you do she will report you to the dean. School isn't a joke, and she expects you to take it seriously. Some people would kill to be in your position.
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rub1anauruu · 2 months ago
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ins-s-securities.
5 — first and last.
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“just stay out of my way,” bakugo reminded for the umpteenth time.
“okay…”
you understood his annoyance perfectly. while the rest of his classmates coped with their tasks without any extra weight, bakugo was forced not only to tolerate your awkward steps next to him, but also to protect you if something happened. it was a mistake to think that you weren’t nervous. the phone, ready to be used at any moment, was clutched in your hand; your thumb soothingly stroked the screen of the gadget.
while you genuinely didn't want to be a burden for bakugo, you kept thinking about the possibilities. maybe some villains would show up, maybe someone here would need help. in those scenarios in your head, bakugo would neutralize the bad guys, you would get the right shots from the right angle, and everyone would be happy. including his friends, who had already managed to express their excitement about the future footage before the patrol began. and managed to tease bakugo. he blew their asses. you split up with them. that was it.
looking around, you took in the deplorable state of this part of the city. while it was slowly and surely continuing to be rebuilt by civilians and necessary quirks of heroes, its outskirts in places still remained seemingly abandoned. it was these areas that became the target of the underground world of villains, places where the shadows of the events of two years ago could crawl.
“sooo... U.A. often sends you to areas like this,” you assumed hesitantly, just to start some kind of conversation between the two of you. the silence was weighing on you, and you felt obligated to be proactive. “yeah. sometimes due to emergencies,” bakugo confirmed without further elaboration, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. you returned the gaze.
pause. and somewhere there you are banging your head against the wall.
“oh! those school armored trucks,” you quickly pointed your thumb behind you, “this is my first t-time riding in one of those.”
“well, enjoy your last ride,” katsuki said slightly grumpily and turned away, adjusting the belt on his winter suit. under the dark fabric, you could clearly see the flex of all his muscles, especially his biceps, which begged the question of how the fuck he got into such perfect shape? bakugo was seriously buffed and you couldn't help but stare at his side. there were no boys like him in your class. and god, it was kind of flattering to be paired with him for your project. it was reasonable after all.
bakugo tsked and asked with an emphasized jerk of his chin at your device: “so what? your shitty camera will be able to perfectly capture my explosions?”
“of course! i made sure i had the r-right settings for filming something that p-powerful,” you stuttered, instantly cringing at how jarring it sounded to your ears. you couldn’t even look at bakugo for fear of seeing discomfort on his face, but all you could hear from him was an amused huff. “yeah. you better do your best. you won’t have any more chances to see something so badass.”
just bakugo bragging. somewhere there you are now breathing a sigh of relief.
the two of you walked around the street assigned to katsuki for another ten minutes - no signs of illegal activity. you managed to take a few shots of the surroundings for documentary purposes, a couple more with a reluctant bakugo, which was surprisingly funny to you and contrasted with the sadness that overwhelmed you from the empty streets. kids' laughter no longer rang out here, in the evenings the bright streetlights no longer illuminated the path for families who went out for a walk...
“nothing will ever be the same again, right?” you asked bitterly, the colorful arcade sign to your left reminding you of the simple happiness and carefree times that were lost during that horrible period. bakugo didn’t miss your mood and rolled his eyes. “no, it will be better,” katsuki assured you and you thought ‘yes, everything has to be better. nothing less than better’. your attention was caught by a plush and strangely clean rabbit lying in your path, the size of a palm, blue as the sky and with a bow of the same color around its neck. probably used to exchange tickets from the arcade machines for it. you couldn’t resist and stopped to pick up the toy, pocketing your phone, until bakugo noticed and did the same with confusion a few steps ahead. “what?”
you curiously turned the rabbit over in your hand and felt the pull string on its back with your fingers, without thinking you wound up the toy, and a hissing melody began to play with barely discernible distorted lyrics of a children's song:
“wind me u-up and watch me go,
spreading joy in every row-w-w,”
nothing seemed suspicious to you. as the song continued, the string gradually shortened. just a cute rabbit with a creepy-sounding song.
“hopping here a-and hopping there,
with lo-o-o-love and laughter—“
“holy shit, drop it!” bakugo's suddenly wary voice cut off the end of the line.
“everywhereee…”
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!!/notes from me:
i hope you’ll like the text part. i decided to add some interesting twists hehe. thank you for waiting for this update🩷 a little tmi: i watched venom 3 (COOL!) and haikyuu movie (OMG THEY ARE LIKE A NEW BREATH OF AIR I LOVE THEM SM).
au page.
[taglist mhaw open!]: @snoozebun @missmanda511
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avelera · 2 years ago
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Hob Gadling - the absolute maddest of immortal lads
One of the things I love most about Hob Gadling as a character (and as a result, do my best to capture in fic) is how unique his reactions are to immortality and to Dream, and how he so often does the opposite of what one would expect from the genre of "humans granted immortality" but also what the average person and most of the audience expects that they would do with immortality, lending well to the concept that Hob is, genuinely, unhinged and a truly supernatural creature in his own right, which is often lost when the character we see him most often juxtaposed against is Dream, who is even more odd and unhinged if in very different ways
(I've decided to be systematic about this and go through meeting by meeting so strap in, folks it got long, as usual!)
1389 - First of all, Hob simply bragging at all that he doesn't plan to die. OG hipster right there, loving life before it was cool. But also, ok, loving life after being born less than a decade after the Black Plague ended. And in the midst of a great many Black Plague aftershocks! The latter half of the 1300s was a truly abysmal time to be alive, with huge social upheaval, war, plagues, "two bloody Popes fightin'" and in the midst of all this is Hob motherfuckin' Gadling, cheerfully announcing that death is for suckers and he doesn't intend to ever do it.
The man is a soldier! You'd think he'd be more accepting and philosophical about his inevitable death given the time he lives in, the profession he has chosen, the fact that most young men his age were wiped out at age 9 by the second wave of the Black Death, and just, in general, doing all of this while having the misfortune to live in England at the time.
And then when Dream comes up to him, like a complete weirdo, and challenges him on this, Hob is actually pretty nice to him! He gives him a side eye but he also goes along with the question, tells him to ignore his friend's jibes, and cheerfully accepts the wager! I cannot express to you how many turns in the road there are between what a normal person would do and what Hob Gadling does in that moment.
1489 - This one bugs me because the most unexpected thing Hob does is seemingly regress in maturity despite now being 100+ years old.
Now, I'm a huge fan of the theory that he's conning Dream right now and putting on the innocent chucklehead routine to put Dream off from kidnapping him to Faerie Land in exchange for his immortality. HOWEVER, since that's just a headcanon, let's take Hob as he is on the page!
Hob has a job. A Freaking Job. He used to be a bandit and a soldier, things that kind of make sense to do as an immortal (like The Old Guard) when you can't die! You could theoretically make BANK there just by taking dangerous jobs. But Hob doesn't?? He gets a normal-ass job, though in that day's equivalent of getting a job at Microsoft or Apple before they became big, Caxton is like one of the first modern startups in essence, a new technology that made TONS of money once it was imported, and Hob was on the ground floor. Still. HE GOT A JOB as an IMMORTAL. He doesn't seem to have this immortality thing figured out yet? And he doesn't ask Dream hardly any questions about it either! You'd think he'd be frothing at the mouth to better understand wtf happened to him, but once Dream clarifies that he's not the Devil and Hob's soul isn't in danger, that's it! No further questions, your honor! WHAT??
Also, just when you WOULD expect him to beg for death (that IS the genre savvy thing to do, Dream's not wrong!) he DOESN'T. He's more in awe than ever, he seems to be experiencing a second childhood over the fact. He's just vibing and living life. That's so, so unusual in this genre.
Hob also hasn't done any of the savvy things an immortal might do after 100 years! He doesn't actually seem all that angsty about why is he immortal, beyond a bit of fear he might need to pay the piper (Dream) now for this gift. Most vampires in an Anne Rice novel would have gone through about 20 stages of grief after they dealt with the first 100 years of everyone they know and love dying but Hob seems to not only be unbothered but actively gearing up for the next century. It's so bizarre. IT'S SO BIZARRE and I love it because I LOVE characters who DON'T do what you'd expect!
1589 - Hob has a family. HOB HAS A FAMILY. Who in their right MIND would start a family, knowing you'd have to bury your spouse and your children? HOB MOTHERFUCKING GADLING that's who! It's incomprehensible! He does it anyway! It's why I headcanon that he planned to support and nurture his family throughout time, like it was all very deliberate to found a dynasty, but it need not be! Knowing him, he just saw a pretty girl and married her! He didn't even CONSIDER his own wife and children getting angry and jealous with him for having immortality he can't share with them? He didn't even CONSIDER the heartbreak?? WHAT?! Who knows! He just did!
Now, this Hob HAS begun to do SOME of the things one would expect of an immortal - like build up generational wealth, BUT he has a KNIGHTHOOD. What immortal in their right MIND would draw that sort of attention to themselves?? HOB, THAT'S WHO. What are you ON, man, that's INSANE! No wonder he got drowned as a witch the man had ZERO CAUTION AT ALL.
1689 - the man is destitute. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN IF YOU'RE AN IMMORTAL? This is AS puzzling as anything else. Theoretically, Hob could just take a dangerous job with a high fatality rate for quick cash and rebuild his fortune pretty quickly, but he DOESN'T. What went wrong? The possibilities are tantalizing and painfully human that maybe he did do that and failed anyway, or hit even WORSE strings of truly abysmal bad luck.
But somehow, at 300 YEARS OLD it's not until 1789 that we hear Hob has begun socking money away for a rainy day! How does it TAKE YOU that long, sir?? How is that NOT something you figure out in your first century? I've seen a lot of fan writers ascribe a certain amount of immortal savvy to Hob but it's REALLY not there on the page! The guy is NOT genre savvy about immortality AT ALL he doesn't do ANY of the things one would expect, it's absolutely WILD that he falls this low after 300 years after completely failing to, theoretically, CONSIDER this possibility! And then, AND THEN, the guy STILL wants to live. I mean, this one hardly needs saying, that's nuts after what he went through, it's on the page that he's NUTS for this. But the guy is literally in the gutter dreaming of the stars, he is unstoppable I love him so fucking much what a force of nature.
1789 - OK, we've already mentioned that it took until 1789 for Hob to start saving money for a rainy day but let's talk about the fact HE'S NOT ACTUALLY CAREFUL ABOUT BEING CAPTURED?? Again, least genre savvy immortal EVER. You can't die so you'd THINK that being captured or imprisoned or god forbid, thrown down a mine shaft would be the SCARIEST possible fates when you don't have death as an escape, but the guy doesn't even blink at the thought of getting captured by an occultist like Johanna Constantine, dude's totally unbothered! DREAM has to tell him after 400 YEARS that maybe he should be worried about this? THE GUY GOT DROWNED AS A WITCH, picked himself up, dusted himself off, got into some crimes against humanity, and MOVED ON apparently without learning a single goddamn lesson he hasn't had since 1389 which is how to kick ass and look good doing it BUT HE'S NOT EVEN A PROFESSIONAL FIGHTER AS A CAREER, he's just a gentleman of means!
He just... lives a normal human life and seems to expect weird things like being kidnapped by occultists to not happen so long as he stays within those boundaries and you know what? IT SEEMS TO HAVE WORKED! Because to be fair, how many of us outside the bounds of fiction would ever expect the wild stuff like kidnapping to really happen? It's statistically quite vanishingly rare! And that's been all Hob has needed, presumably, to not need to stress since the damn witch trials about his immortality! So yeah, I read fic where Hob is like this very savvy immortal but by 400 YEARS he's BARELY learned to have a savings account under a different name and he STILL doesn't seem too bothered by the possibility of getting hurt or captured! Like, AT ALL?! Absolutely class act right here, top lad, unbelievable, no notes. HOW do you SURVIVE like this as an anomaly, Hob?
1889 - By now, it SEEMS like Hob has bought a clue. He's pretty understated, he's made some amends, SEEMS to have resolved to be less of a shithead, and he's got this immortality thing figured out. It only took him 500 FUCKING YEARS. But again, Hob ISN'T fabulously wealthy as far as we can tell. He's not a megalomaniac and he STILL seems to be vibin' as just a dude doing Just A Dude things like HAVING A JOB and if we borrow from Hob's Leviathan a bit, he's STILL just jumping between industries, just living life down at the normal human level. He hasn't detached from humanity, he lives in the day to day on a level that's just INCONCEIVABLE for a being that's 500 years old.
1989 - Ok, moving on a bit from Hob being an immortal, because getting excited about technology like his brick phone is absolutely so charming I want to squish his cheeks, but he's hardly the only immortal to get excited about that. What I want to talk about is how HOB FORGIVES DREAM for 1889. Because, look, Dream is a prick there. Hob could have been more diplomatic but Dream could have waited for the apology and he didn't.
I have seen SO MANY TAKES where Hob would be MAD after 1889 and RIGHTFULLY SO. But he's NOT. He's not! There are so many fics where he has lingering hurt over it but that's just NOT what the character does! He blames himself! Guy did pretty much nothing wrong except maybe choose his words poorly, but he's blaming HIMSELF for making Dream uncomfortable. Absolute legend. Saints have nothing on this man, that is saint-like behavior. I'd be furious. Hob just misses his friend and BLAMES HIMSELF that Dream isn't there. Not an a single, microscopic trace of anger in sight.
2022 - And then, AND THEN, when he has EVERY REASON to flip out when Dream shows up, finally, after 133 YEARS, after Hob has APPARENTLY stuck around the area just in case, WAITING for him, what does this fucking legend say? "You're late."
THAT'S IT! He's not mad, he totally has a right to be! He doesn't jump out of his chair in shock, that would be a totally expected reaction to! He glances up! He acts like Dream is 5 minutes late instead of over a century WHAT IS THAT?? WHAT IS THAT?! HOW?!! They just settle back with a pint after that like it's nothing. That's not what I would do. I don't think that's what almost any human would do after a shock like that. I still can't wrap my head around it.
So anyway, Hob Gadling, absolutely FASCINATING character from the perspective of just not doing a single fucking thing you'd expect an immortal Just A Dude to do. Goddamn legend right there. Worth remembering for those like me who are obsessed enough to write this guy in fic. He is just so... opposite of everything you'd expect and that is so fucking sexy of him wow
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sleepyparalysisdmon · 19 days ago
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Ah! Love - Act Two
Yoon Jeonghan isn’t told ‘no’ often - or ever, really. So, when his friends set him up to get turned down, his ego is shattered. But his friends didn’t realize they just introduced him to his new partner in crime. 
You can find the Ah! Love masterlist here.
Playlist: Ah! Love by Seventeen; Can’t Get You by Jaehyun; Bonnie & Clyde by Yuqi 
Word count: 22k
Parts of this story will contain explicit content that's not suitable for minors, so MDNI.
This is a repost of a previous fic I did. It was one of the first fics that I ever posted on here and I wish I had made some different choices aesthetically. The content will be the same, it will just be a little prettier and more readable.
Jeonghan was in charge of the first step of this plan. He needed to tell his friends that he had a date. He kind of wanted to straight up brag about it. Yes, they’d teased him mercilessly about Y/N’s initial rejection, but look who finally came around. He knows the bragging would be effective. It would make every competitive bone in Seungcheol and Mingyu’s body ache. He can imagine that they’d all try to start dating too just to prove a point. They can’t be shown up by Jeonghan. 
But Jeonghan is surprised when Y/N pitches another idea and it’s absolutely devious. She suggests being so casual that it makes them feel guilty. Now, he hadn’t expected her to have such a manipulative streak, and he’s still more confused at this vendetta she seems to have against his friends, Mingyu in particular. But the more he thinks about it, the more satisfying he thinks her recommendation will be. He’s also incredibly turned on by the way she’s willing to play these mind games. She’s undoubtedly the best person to pull this stunt with.
After their shared night class on Thursday, Jeonghan slid into the booth at the bar. He runs a little late on purpose. He’s not sure if Chan remembers, but he’s already let it slip that he has a class with Y/N on Thursdays. It would be nice if he remembers that after Jeonghan’s announcement and puts two and two together, but it’s not necessary for the successor this step.
His friends were a few drinks deep already and discussing some baseball game that was on TV when he arrives. Jeonghan has a couple beers himself before the right opportunity finally presented itself. “You guys going to the Kappa party tomorrow night?” 
The others agree to Seungcheol’s question automatically. Jeonghan glances at his roommate casually before looking back at the TV. He casually sips his beer. “I’ll pass.”
“What?! You never miss it. What’s better than a Kappa party?” Seungcheol laughs like Jeonghan is totally unserious. 
Casual. No big deal, just like Y/N recommended. “I have a date. Maybe next time.”
Jeonghan’s words are intentionally flat and he enjoys the silence in the booth, knowing it’s the calm before the storm. You can hear a pin drop in their little corner booth, which is crazy because it’s Thirsty Thursday in a campus bar. 
“I’m sorry? Can you say that again?” Jihoon speaks, confusion obvious. 
Jeonghan finally meets his friends eyes. He suppresses the satisfaction at their shock, pulling his best Y/N impression to keep his face blank. “I have a date.”
“With who?!” Mingyu cries.
“When did this happen? I didn’t even know you were interested in anyone.” Seungcheol looked seriously offended.
Jeonghan and Y/N had agreed that this would be the best part. It would look like not even she was impervious to his charms, he’d just needed some extra time for her to warm up to him. He glanced back at the TV again. “Y/N. I asked her out earlier this week.” 
Man, were they right. A glass clattered to the table. A gasp. Finally, a loud, “How in the fuck,” from Mingyu. 
“Y/N, the girl that brutally shot you down earlier this semester? Wonwoo’s friend?” Seungcheol clarified. 
Jeonghan did everything to keep his face passive and relaxed. Like he was long over it. “Brutal is a strong word. She was actually pretty polite about it.” That part was true. She’d said ‘no thank you’ when she could have said ‘no way in hell’.
“Then how did we get here? Did you bribe her or something?” Mingyu accused. “That would definitely go against the bet.”
Ah, another thing they had anticipated. After some discussion, they both agreed Jeonghan wouldn’t need to bring up the bet. His friends would do it for him in one way or another. After even more consideration, they’d also agreed that the bet didn’t matter. Jeonghan didn’t want the money, primarily because it would involve Y/N and he’d come to respect her too much over the semester. Even if he did take it, Y/N refused to accept any of it for her role. Plus, Jeonghan rejecting the bet would send a clear message.
“We have a class together and we got to know each other some. And no, I didn’t bribe her. I don’t give a fuck about the bet,” Jeonghan says evenly. 
Across from him in the booth, Mingyu and Seungcheol look at each other before frowning. They hadn’t expected this and Jeonghan had been banking on that. It felt so satisfying and he already couldn’t wait to tell Y/N how well this was going. 
Jihoon claps him on the shoulder. “That’s nice, man. I hope it goes well. You’ll have to tell us about it later.” He seems to mean it too.
Chan looks relieved. “So I don’t need to apologize for puking on her shoes?” 
Jeonghan barks a laugh. He loves this kid. “No, her shoes cleaned up okay.”
Joshua is grinning. “I knew it’d work out. What are you doing for your date?” 
Jeonghan isn’t sure how to take that first part but he doesn’t have much time to think about it because Joshua, Jihoon, and Chan are peppering him with questions. He feels stupidly happy when he answers them, losing the cool, unaffected exterior that he had before. They’ve never been so encouraging. Seungcheol and Mingyu are the ones that are usually cheering him on. But this is different isn’t it? His two friends across from him stay quiet for the rest of the night. It seems like they don’t know what to say. 
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His two friends are so quiet that it isn’t until Jeonghan is getting ready for his ‘date’ on Friday that one of them approaches him. He’s brushing his teeth when Seungcheol leans against the doorframe of his bathroom. “So, you’re really doing this, huh?” 
Jeonghan likes to think he’s getting good at being casual about this topic because it’s all most of his friends have talked about since he made the announcement last night. He spits in the sink, focusing on running his toothbrush under the water. “Seems that way, yeah.”
Seungcheol is quiet for a while and Jeonghan wonders if he might drop it. He’s not so lucky. “Why didn’t you tell me?” His roommate sounds hurt.
“I did. Last night.” Jeonghan tries to keep the chill out of his voice when he answers it because he’s remembering how satisfied Seungcheol looked back in August across the quad. 
“I mean - we’re friends, right? We have been for years. We live together for fuck’s sake. I didn’t even know you had a class with her, much less that you’d been talking to her or really liked her.”
He can tell Seungcheol is getting frustrated and Jeonghan is losing his patience for it. Seungcheol should feel bad and Jeonghan wants to make sure he does. “I didn’t know you’d want to know, especially if I wasn’t getting turned down.”
It has the affect that he’s hoping for. Seungcheol reels back a bit. “It’s not like that and you know it. Of course I’d be happy for you if you really liked someone. You just… haven’t.”
“I do now.” Jeonghan is even surprised by how fast the words come out. “Want to make fun of me the way you guys do with Joshua now? It seems you and Mingyu will have something to say either way.”
It’s like he’s watching in real time as Seungcheol realizes he might have been a dick. But this has just started. He and Y/N have a three month agreement once it’s reasonable to announce that they’re official and Jeonghan plans to make the most of it while Y/N is on board. Seungcheol is just the start.
“You know we don’t mean it. It’s not that serious,” Seungcheol might even be pleading now but Jeonghan feels his anger boiling over as he pushes past Seungcheol to get back to his bedroom.
“Have you asked Joshua if he thinks it’s not serious? You ever wonder why he doesn’t bring his girlfriend around when she goes to the same fucking school?” Jeonghan bites, opening his closet, yanking out clothes that he’d already planned to wear. His movements are jerky as he dresses. 
“He always says she’s busy.” It sounds like Seungcheol is trying to convince himself of it. That really has been Joshua’s excuse, but Jeonghan remembers how Joshua avoided talking about her for so long, afraid of how everyone would react. They’ve only met her a handful of times in three years. He half considers taking a page out of Joshua’s book when it comes to Y/N, but it would defeat the purpose of their plan. This needs to be rubbed in their faces. Not tonight, but soon. 
“I gotta go, I’ll see you later,” Jeonghan shoves his keys, wallet, and phone in his pockets and walks past Seungcheol, ignoring the ‘seriously, man’ that’s mumbled.
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Y/N can tell Jeonghan is in a mood when they meet in the lobby of their apartment complex. She lets him have his moment as they get into his car and drive to the river front. He seems to relax some when they park and she asks what kind of street food he’s thinking of getting. It’s chilly but they find a bench on the river’s edge to eat their food. “So how’d your announcement go?” 
“Good, I guess,” Jeonghan grunts. 
“Be more convincing,” Y/N insists lightly. He gives her a look out of the corner of his eyes before he scoffs. But she’s relieved when he does lighten up a bit. 
“It was good until I was talking to Seungcheol earlier. He was offended that I never mentioned it.” One thing that keeps surprising Y/N is how open Jeonghan is about his thoughts and feelings. She doesn’t want to discourage it. She knows what it’s like to feel like you can’t go to your friends with this sort of stuff.
Y/N hums. “Seems about right. How’d that go?”
“Bad. We don’t fight often - I mean only a handful of times over nearly 15 years. He didn’t like that I was right though. He didn’t want to know about it if he couldn’t give me a hard time about it.”
“I’m proud of you.” Jeonghan’s head snaps to look at her as she continues. “You should absolutely tell him he’s being a dick. Mingyu next, please. Imagine how satisfying that will be.” After a beat, she adopts a thoughtful expression. “Maybe we need to take a more subtle route to avoid fighting with them, though. I’m not out to ruin friendships here. I just want to deliver some karma and a little guilt-tripping.”
“How’s this going to work anyway? Jeonghan asks. He's already said he doesn’t want to make assumptions about what she’s comfortable with in this little scheme of theirs and that her approval on the process is important to him. 
She hears him chuckle when she pulls out a notebook and a pen from her bag. “You’re not going to make me sign a contract, are you?” He teases.
She gives him a side eye, but she can’t help but smile. She flips to a certain page. “No, Yoon Jeonghan. How much time are you spending on Wattpad?”
“Just enough,” he jokes. She rolls her eyes.
The plan is pretty simple. 
Phase One - Casually Dating. This is critical, she says, because it lays the groundwork for the rest of the plan. It has to be convincing that it’s going well and they like spending time with each other. She insists that this act doesn’t just extend to his friends or even her friends, though they’re important factors. It extends to all of campus. His absence at parties will be noticed. His prolonged attention on a single person will be noticed. It will make an impact. He needs to jumpstart some image rehabilitation if this will work. People need to be second guessing what they think they know about him.
Phase Two - Officially Dating. Once they both feel that others are sufficiently convinced that something serious could really be going on between them, they hard launch. This includes things like being seen together on campus, posting each other on social media, and attending parties together. She says that this is the natural rhythm of this type of thing and he nods in agreement. Despite the fact that he’s not put any of those things to practice, she knows he’s smart and has seen it all before. When Y/N mentions a little PDA, Jeonghan frowns like he hadn’t considered that it would be necessary. He asks what she has in mind, but Y/N shrugs and says they’ll revisit it if phase one is successful. She’s still debating on what will work in regards to the topic of PDA, given what he’s used tonight other than girls. 
Phase Three - sometime after the three month mark, they quietly break up. Quietly because Jeonghan can’t be the bad guy here if this is going to really benefit him in the long run. Jeonghan says that this part sounds deceptively simple and even asks if there’s more. There’s not so he shrugs. Another thing they’ll revisit if the first two phases are successful.
She really only has one rule. He has to stop all non-platonic interactions with other women until this is over. Even if he’s discreet, people will still talk and it will ruin the new image that they’re trying to create. Jeonghan agrees to this with surprising ease, and Y/N’s shock must show. She was expecting for him to ask to bend this rule on an occasion or two because it’s been implied she won’t be putting out. She has an idea of the frequency of his hook ups because she’s seen and heard things and three months is a long time for someone with his habits. He simply says, “Just trust me. I promise not to make you look bad.” He even pinky promises on it.
When they’ve agreed on the general details, Jeonghan takes the pen and signs the bottom of her notes with a smile. “There, it’s official now.”
She scoffs, snapping the notebook shut around his hand and taking her pen back. Both items go back into her bag. She’s smiling too though. “Come on. I want hot chocolate.”
“Are you paying?” He chides, standing to walk with her. 
“No. You just signed your life away. You didn’t even read the contract.” She jokes and he laughs. He pays anyway without complaint.
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Y/N had spent so much time worrying about Jeonghan’s side of this little deal that it didn’t occur to her until she was out with her friends in celebration of Junhui’s excellent performance earlier that night. They both had a part to play in this and she feels kind of silly that she had forgotten that this would impact her too. 
Seokmin had joined them for dinner and Y/N wore her best poker face. He’d been friends with everyone before he left too. She didn’t want to cause anymore of a rift than their breakup had. She also knew many of the guys still kept in contact with Seokmin even if she didn’t and had missed him. Vernon kept her glass full of alcohol. It’s one of the rare times that he wasn’t giving her a hard time about her misfortune (which this entire night certainly classifies as). She thinks he probably just doesn’t want to see her cry tonight. Vernon is totally lost with that sort of thing.
The alcohol wasn’t numbing much though. Everyone else seems to be having a good time and she was beginning to feel left out. In particular, Soonyoung was having a lot of fun downing drinks. His voice was loud and it looked like their waiter might cut him off at any moment. Drunkenly, Soonyoung turns to Seokmin. “Seokmin, Minnie couldn’t come with you? When will we meet her?”
Y/N didn’t miss the looks from the rest of the table because there was nothing subtle about it. Some flashed with concern towards Y/N. Some looked like warnings at Soonyoung, who was oblivious. Seokmin hesitated, eyes flitting to Y/N across the table. “No, she had some things to do. She says she’d like to come next time.”
She felt like she’d been struck by lightning. Minnie. His costar. Maybe his new girlfriend too from the sounds of it. It seemed like all of her friends knew as well and they’d kept it from her. Soonyoung cried out, leaning down to hold is leg. Someone must have landed a kick under the table. Minghao smoothly changed the subject. 
After that, Vernon is very diligent about keeping her glass full. The world moved around her but she stayed quiet. How dare he? How dare he dump her and move on just like that? They’d not even been broken up for a year. How was it so simple for him when her eyes burned at the fact that he was even at the same table? Did nearly 7 years mean nothing? 
Maybe it didn’t. Maybe her friends knew that, which is why they’d kept this a secret. They knew she hadn’t been able to move on so easily. Between the anger and the alcohol she felt like she was on fire. 
Vernon elbows her. She’s missed an entire conversation. “Seokmin is here until Friday. Want to join us for dinner and drinks on Thursday night?” Junhui’s not oblivious, but he’s sure acting like it with the question. Or maybe it’s out of politeness, not wanting her to feel excluded. Either way, her fists clench in her lap because there’s no way to spin this into something positive. 
Out of nowhere, Y/N remembers Jeonghan asking her what she gets out of their scheme. She’d insisted making his friends eat their words was enough. But maybe she could benefit from it more than she thought. 
She remembers when she and Jeonghan planned his announcement to his friends. Be casual, no big deal. She gives her most convincing apologetic smile. “Sorry, I won’t be able to make it. I have a date.” She doesn’t look at Seokmin because his reaction matters very little to her. It’s with great satisfaction that she watches her friends stumble as she changes the subject. 
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Y/N hadn’t really thought about the impact her announcement would have because it was so spur of the moment, unlike how Jeonghan’s was meticulously planned. But she was learning what that impact was. Her friends were tiptoeing around her, around the topic. It seemed like no one was brave enough to say anything yet. That is, until they sent Minghao. 
As was her usual routine, Y/N often studies at the coffee shop during Minghao’s shift. It’s three in the afternoon now, which means it’s dead. The morning rush is long over and the night class rush (if you could even call it that) won’t start for another hour or so. Minghao slides into the chair across from her and Y/N glances up to give him a small smile. He doesn’t return it. He looks a bit nervous, which is very unlike him. 
“What?” Y/N asks, though she thinks she knows where this is going. It’s been days since the conversation during dinner. It’s clear one or all of them can’t take the mystery anymore. 
Minghao looks like he’s steeling himself. Finally he says, “So, a date, huh?” She shrugs. “When did that happen?”
“I’ve actually already been on one, on Friday. We’re going out again.” 
She watches Minghao’s eyes flare in surprise. “Oh? So it went well then?” He seems neutral about the news.
“Yeah, it was good.” The answer was genuine. If you’d told her earlier in the semester that she’d enjoy Yoon Jeonghan’s company, she wouldn’t have believed it. Despite the fact that it could barely be called a date, what with the scheming and all, she did have a good time. 
“Do I know him?” 
Y/N shrugs again. “I suppose. It’s Yoon Jeonghan.” 
A flash of concern crosses Minghao’s face. “Yoon Jeonghan. Are we thinking of the same one?” When Y/N just raises an eyebrow because there’s only one Yoon Jeonghan around here, he tacks on, “The one that was here with you last week?” 
“Yes.” 
Minghao face palms. “Oh, honey. Why would you do that?” 
He sounds so exasperated and scolding that it pisses her off right away. “Do what? Go out with someone whose interested in me?”
Minghao’s stammering now. He didn’t expect her to fight back. She’s been the quiet one of the group from day one, letting the rest of her friends run the show. With Seokmin, she’d always been so agreeable, even to a fault. And when Seokmin had left, she took all of her friends’ advice without argument, trusting that she would feel better if she did. She’d always assumed they were looking out for her, but she was thinking she’d misinterpreted some of their intentions now. 
“I don’t mean it like that, Y/N. I just mean… we all know how hard Seokmin leaving was on you. There’s no need to rush moving on. Least of all with someone like Yoon Jeonghan.”
She doesn’t like how he says Jeonghan’s name like he’s the devil incarnate but she can’t deal with that right now. “No need to rush moving on like Seokmin did? Tell me, how quickly did he start dating someone else after he ended a years-long relationship?” She snaps and Minghao doesn’t have an answer. “Every single one of you knew and you didn’t tell me. You let me sit across from him at dinner and find out the hard way.”
“We were trying to protect you from it. You’d been doing so much better. We didn’t want to ruin the progress,” Minghao says weakly. 
“Well, you don’t have to worry about the progress being ruined. I’m very over Seokmin, but I’m deeply offended that you guys kept this from me. It did absolutely no good to protect me from it right up until he was right in front of me for the first time in a year.”
Minghao opens his mouth to say something but a customer comes in. He has no choice but get up and make their order. Y/N packs up her things and leaves while he’s busy because she’s not interested in continuing this conversation. 
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Thursday night after class, Y/N finds herself across from Jeonghan in what he’s dubbed their regular booth at the diner. It’s the same one they sat at when they initially hatched this whole plan initially. When she’d texted him earlier in the week asking for a ‘date’ on Thursday, she was relieved when he immediately agreed. This ‘date’ has a dual purpose. They needed to meet anyway for their project and they also needed to discuss the next steps in their scheme. Her conversation with Minghao had sparked something in her. 
They get the boring stuff out of the way first - combining their notes for what they’ve read so far, discussing themes and motifs, and choices in characterization, plus where they think the ending will go. Not only has he actually done the reading they agreed on, but he’s far more intelligent than he lets on and Y/N finds the conversation just as stimulating as the scheming. 
Speaking of, when their plates are empty, laptops are closed, and Y/N’s notebook and pen come out, Jeonghan smiles. She’s taken more notes. However, she doesn’t tell him how it’s going to be right away. “How do you want to proceed?”
The question stumps him and Y/N smiles when his face falls into confusion. “Didn’t you come up with a plan already?”
“A loose one. There’s a lot of flexibility because this needs to come naturally to both of us if it’s going to be convincing. The question now is, when can we move on to phase two?”
Jeonghan’s thinking, and it probably mirrors a lot of her own thoughts. Since their agreement, Jeonghan had made a point to meet her regularly on campus - meeting her for coffee or lunch, walking her to class, even carrying her bag once or twice. It had gotten looks, which was the entire goal. 
She also knew that her friends had seen some of this too. She wasn’t sure if Minghao had told them who she was seeing, or if they’d seen it for themselves, but it was clear that they knew now. She smiled and confirmed their assumptions when asked, but they were careful not to voice their opinions. They seemed to sense that they were in trouble. 
What she didn’t know was how things were going with his friends. She knew they’d also seen Jeonghan and Y/N together on campus, and knew that a lot of those times he’d been bailing on them to see her. “Are things convincing to your friends so far?”
Jeonghan nodded slowly. “I think so. It’s helping that I’ve turned down parties. Jihoon called me a changed man the other day.” There’s a lightness about him when he says this. Like it’s the biggest compliment anyone could give him. 
“Do you miss it? The partying, I mean?” Not that she told him, but some of his bad habits were the biggest risk to their whole plot. She’s relieved when he shrugs. 
“Not really. Might be nice from time to time but it was kind of always a means to an end.” 
He doesn’t have to spell it out for her. He won’t go to parties if he’s not taking someone home. He looks a little embarrassed about this admission after he says it but she appreciates his honesty. 
“That brings me to my next question, actually.” Jeonghan looks nervous but nods for her to continue. “Maybe we should attend one together.”
He’s frowning now. “You don’t like parties.”
“I don’t like getting puked on.” She’s teasing, but he must know that because he rolls his eyes. “What I’m getting at is, a total 180 of your habits could be suspicious. Plus it’s a good opportunity to be seen together. We show up, have a few drinks, chat, look cute together, and then we leave if you want.”
“Define ‘look cute together’.” He looks genuinely confused.
“Which brings me to my next point. How are you with PDA?” She watched Jeonghan’s eyebrows raise and then he busies himself looking elsewhere. 
“I usually do enough to get someone to go upstairs or go home with me.” 
She nods, closing her eyes with a tinge of exasperation. “That’s not the kind of PDA I’m talking about.” 
“Oh.”
She flips the notebook to a fresh page, tapping the pen a few times. “I mean, innocent touches. Things that will make it apparent that we’re together but doesn’t necessarily mean you’re taking me straight to bed when we leave. Though I guess people thinking that wouldn’t hurt much, especially later on.”
Across the table, Jeonghan tries to think of literally anything else but the implication of her words. He’d made a concerted effort not to think about her that way this whole time, not just in this scheme but throughout the whole semester. He would not be able to get through this if he was thinking about her in his bed. He’d surely fuck it up if sex became involved. She seems oblivious to his struggles. He clears his throat. “I don’t know. What would you normally do?”
Y/N is surprised and her poker face slips a bit. He couldn’t be that inexperienced to all of this, could he? He’s starting to fidget, a nervous tick that he has. Maybe she’s wrong. There’s more of a learning curve than she thought. 
“Hand holding. Little touches, like if we’re standing next to each other you put your hand on my back or waist. Or if we’re sitting next to each other you put your hand on my thigh. Kissing probably wouldn’t be a bad touch either, to whatever extent you’re comfortable with it. The critical part is that we need to look interested in one another and no one else over a significant period of time.”
She’s writing notes as she says this, so she misses how Jeonghan’s eyes are glazing over. He knows couples touch and kiss, he’s not an idiot. And he’s definitely not inexperienced with the mechanics of it all. But he feels like he’s 14 again at the concept. He hasn’t said anything yet and she interrupts his panic. “Are you okay with that? Would you add anything? Are there things you don’t want to do?”
“Uh, no, I’m good. But, you’re sure you’re okay with all that?” 
He’s getting her signature blinks. “Jeonghan, I wouldn’t mention it if I wasn’t okay with it. Besides, there’s no script to this part. Just do what feels natural.” He’s doesn’t know how to respond and it makes her frown. She puts the pen down and sighs. “Maybe we go a different route with this. It doesn’t have to be public. Maybe you don’t want to be seen with me.”
Jeonghan’s eyes go wide, hands planting on the table. “Whoa, where did that come from? What makes you say that?”
Y/N chews on her lip. She’s usually a straight shooter, but she hesitates to admit this because of how insecure she might sound. However, this won’t work if they’re keeping secrets. “I don’t quite fit the type of girl you go after. You looked uncomfortable at the idea of being near me or touching me. It’s fine if you don’t find me attractive. I’m really not offended, I promise, but if that’s the case for you, then maybe we scrap this whole plan or find someone else to help you with it.”
“You think I don’t find you attractive?” Jeonghan is deadpanned now because he can’t imagine pulling this off with anyone else. Y/N shrugs, feeling exposed now that she’s said all of that. Jeonghan gives a stiff shake of his head. “You’re insane.” He’s said this before but this time it’s not a compliment. “I’m only going to say this once. You’re incredibly hot and pretty and cute, and just about any other kind adjective out there. You’re not the issue here. In fact, I’m already getting questions about how I got you to so much as look at me.”
“That’s because I’m kind of a bitch.” Y/N means it as a joke but Jeonghan certainly isn’t taking it that way. He looks more serious than she’s ever seen him. 
“No, you’re not,” he says firmly, leaving no room for debate. “You have boundaries and you know what you want. That’s something about you that I can’t get enough of.”
Things move in slow motion for her as Jeonghan reaches across the table to grab her notebook and pen. He scribbles out the question mark she’d put next to Kissing and then signs his name at the bottom. “I’ll pick you up at 9 on Saturday night. There’s a Phi and Zeta party.” He flags down the waitress for an order of fries. It’s clear that this is final. 
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Minseo busts into Y/N’s room at approximately noon on Saturday, two coffees in hand. Y/N is relieved to see her, though she almost didn’t call her. But Minseo had picked up on the second ring and it took very little explaining before Y/N could hear her former roommate scrambling around her room, promising to be there ASAP. 
Y/N wasn’t good with girls. Not good at having conversations with them, not good at maintaining friendships with them. She had very little in common with someone like Minseo, who had done dance and cheer for most of her life, was popular in the sorority circles, and whose favorite color was hot pink. Instead, Y/N had been on the soccer field skinning up her knees or the volleyball court diving for the ball, and when she wasn’t doing one of those, she dressed like a complete tomboy - no skirts or dresses in sight if she could help it. And don’t get her started on the fact that all of her friends had always been boys. Other girls, even her own teammates, had criticized her over the years, saying that she must think she’s better than other girls. They interpreted her reservation (which was rooted in anxiety about fitting in) as her being stuck up. She wasn’t. She didn’t feel that way at all. She wished she could fit in with them desperately but didn’t know how.
Minseo was one of the few girls she’d ever met that didn’t complain about the skateboard being left in the walkway of their dorm, or that Y/N’s closet primarily consisted of denim and black, or that she sometimes wore a bit too much dark eye makeup when she was in the mood. She didn’t even blink at the number of guy friends that were in and out of their shared dorm the entire time they lived together and never even suggested that something else was going on. In return for that acceptance, Y/N had tutored Minseo for many classes to remain eligible for the sorority of her choice and supported Minseo’s 2am baking habit. She had even helped Minseo style dozens of outfits for her many sorority events, back when she was still trying to find her footing within the organization. It was Y/N that needed the fashion help this time. 
“I need you to start from the beginning.” Minseo was practically vibrating as she plopped on her stomach onto the bed, feet kicked into the air with her head propped in her hands. She’s grinning. 
“I have a date.” 
“So you said. With Yoon Jeonghan.” Minseo’s smirk is huge. She’s not surprised that Minseo’s heard it. The whispers have been following her everywhere lately. 
“It’s fake.” The whisper is out before Y/N can stop it. 
Minseo’s jaw drops. “What?!” The screech must have disturbed Vernon’s beauty sleep because he bangs on their joining wall. Minseo and Y/N yell ‘sorry’ in unison, an old habit from their dorm days. 
“Oh my god, Y/N. Start from the beginning. Now,” Minseo hisses.
Y/N does. She’s desperate to tell someone everything, to get it off her chest and feel better. She tells her about turning Jeonghan down in August, the bet, the class they shared and how they kept running into each other, Seokmin, Minghao - everything. It feels good to share the pain of it all. It also feels good to have someone to panic with her. Minseo is screaming into the pillow by the end of it and Vernon’s banging on the wall again. 
“Well, so what now? Fake date Yoon Jeonghan?” Minseo must recognize that this is Top Secret because she’s adopted a whisper too. 
Y/N gives a deceptively casual shrug. “Yeah, that’s the deal. Are you going to help me or not?”
“Hell yeah, but girl, this is so messy of you. Are you sure you’re good?” Minseo looks mildly concerned. 
“I’ll be better if you can help me figure out what to wear, and how to do my hair and make up. I’m trying to make a point here.”
“Clarify the points for me.” Minseo is gentle with the request, but it’s clear she’s not moving from the bed until she has an answer. 
“That I can move on from Seokmin. That I already have, actually. And that Jeonghan’s not quite what his reputation leads people to believe.” 
“You’re sure about that last one? That the bet’s not back on? That he’s not going to continue to sleep around?” Another gentle but serious question. Minseo knows his friends so she knows how Jeonghan is by default. 
Y/N bites her lip. “I think so. Even if the bet’s still on, none of it’s real. And he’s agreed not to sleep around. If he does, this whole thing backfires on him anyway.”
This seems to satisfy Minseo, because she’s suddenly lunging towards the closet. Clothes begin flying out onto the floor behind her. She’s digging to the back of the closet. Y/N expected that but dreads it nonetheless. A few options are laying out on the bed in moments, things that are a little more revealing or tighter (or both) than she’d usually wear. She’s not sure why she even has some of them because they still have the price tags on them. 
It’s a little unclear what Minseo’s process is, but she’s meticulous about examining an outfit, scanning Y/N, looking back at the outfit, repeat. Finally, Minseo shoves one to her and points to the bathroom in a silent command. Minseo frowns when Y/N comes out and silently hands her another outfit. “What? Is this one bad?” Y/N asks, looking down self-consciously. 
“No babe, you look hot, but you also look terribly uncomfortable. That’s not going to convince anyone.”
It takes a while before Minseo is satisfied with the full look, but at a little before 9pm, Y/N is glad she trusted the process. Minseo ended up scrapping all of the things she initially pulled out with the excuse that they weren’t edgy enough. Y/N fans her face to dry wet eyes and not smudge her makeup when she looks in the full length mirror. Minseo didn’t try to stuff her into a short party dress; she’d let her keep her personal style and comfort, but it’s enhanced her feature in a way that she didn’t know was possible. She owed her former roommate big for this because it makes her feel a little more confident about this whole thing. Like she’s not just playing dress up as Jeonghan’s soon-to-be girlfriend.
The apartment door opens and Y/N knows it’s time. Time for what, she’s not sure, but it feels a little like facing the music. She finds Jeonghan and Vernon at the door. She’s unsure if they’ve ever actually met, but they apparently have now. Both look surprised when they see her, or rather what she’s wearing, but while Jeonghan smiles, Vernon frowns. She hasn’t made this kind of effort to dress up for a guy… ever, really. Not even for Seokmin. 
Y/N tries to convince herself it’s not really for Jeonghan per say, but she does like how he looks at her. It seems innocent and there’s a quiet admiration to it. 
“Ready?” She asked Jeonghan. He holds the door open for her as they leave, while Vernon’s still standing in the entry way awkwardly waving. 
“You look nice,” Jeonghan says when they enter the elevator. 
“Thanks, so do you.” It’s not a lie. He’s usually wearing baggy clothes like sweat pants, hoodies, and oversized shirts. Now it’s jeans, a white T-shirt, and a leather jacket. Within the confines of the elevator, she can smell his cologne. Something woodsy with a hint of citrus. The scent is kind of consuming and she’s eager to get out of the elevator and clear her head. 
Conversation comes easy on their walk across campus. It usually comes easy with them anymore. It’s when they approach the frat house that Y/N begins to hesitate. Jeonghan’s perceptive, leaning close. There’s a crowd of people in the front lawn and he probably doesn’t want to be heard. “We don’t have to do this, you know. We can just walk back home now, or go somewhere else and hang out. Me not showing up at all also makes a point.” 
“That defeats the purpose. Besides, wasn’t I the one convincing you of this the other day?” 
“You were,” Jeonghan nodded. “But you’re allowed to back out at any time. You’re getting very, very little out this.”
“That’s not totally true,” Y/N mumbled. As soon as the words were out, she hoped he hadn’t heard her but he must have. 
“Your mysterious vendetta against Mingyu isn’t worth being uncomfortable here. We can always set up something else less crowded,” Jeonghan insisted. 
“No, I mean…” she stalls. A crowd of drunken frat guys get too close to them on the sidewalk as they rough house. Jeonghan’s hand flies to her waist pulling her away. He doesn’t take his hand back, like maybe he’s trying to comfort her. Or maybe he’s just putting on a show. He’s standing close and she imagines how intimate it must look because she knows how intimate it feels. Whatever it is, it’s disarming because it seems so natural. “Seokmin’s moved on. All my friends knew and didn’t tell me.” 
Jeonghan’s fingers tighten around the curve of her waist ever so slightly and his touch is warm through her jacket. “So… you want to prove you can move on too.” 
It warms her that he gets it just like that, no further explanation needed. “Does that make me a bad person?” Y/N asks, looking around the front lawn next to her. 
“Does it make me a bad person that I want to prove to my friends that I can date by fake dating you?” 
“No,” Y/N’s fly up to Jeonghan’s and he’s looking intently, a hint of amusement. “Your friends are being dicks. They should be more supportive of you and what you want.”
“And your friends should be honest with you about some asshole that up and left you after 7 years. Fuck, they shouldn’t even be friends with him anymore, Y/N. I don’t have to know the details to know he was in the wrong here.” His hand slides around to her back as he steps forward a bit, impassioned. She can feel his warmth against her side now. 
She’d never had anyone so… viciously supportive of her. Not even Wonwoo, arguably her ride or die for as long as she could remember, had said a bad word about Seokmin around her. Not even when she wouldn’t eat or sleep, and cried often. She’d asked over and over what she’d done wrong and none of her friends ever had an answer for her. Now that she thought about it, they also never told her she wasn’t in the wrong at all. Jeonghan’s validation, particularly the intensity of it, is touching. 
Confidence in their plan renewed, she was reaching around to grab his hand off of her back, lacing their fingers together. “Let’s go.” 
Jeonghan didn’t have to be told twice. 
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Jeonghan had only told his friends he’d show up tonight, but not that he’d be bringing anyone. The omission was only because he wanted to give Y/N room to back out, and if she had backed out he already planned to back out too. In a way, he kind of liked the idea of keeping a little mystery. But Y/N is right when she says they still need to show off a little bit.
He feels their stares, amongst many others, as he leads Y/N by the hand to the kitchen. It occurs to them that he and Y/N didn’t really have a game plan for this. They’re totally winging it and he’s trying to think fast. 
They both get drinks and wordlessly reconnect their hands together to fight through the crowd. He finds his friends by the pool table, Mingyu and Seungcheol with cues in their hands. They aren’t playing though. They’re staring. Joshua is the first to greet them, but he hardly seems concerned with Jeonghan. He seems so enthusiastic that Y/N is here that it’s a little overwhelming. He immediately introduces himself to Y/N and then introduces the other four one by one. 
“Nice to meet you, but what’s the catch?” Jihoon asks. Though he means it in jest, Jeonghan’s fingers still tense around Y/N’s. He’s afraid he might lose his cool but she squeezes his hand back. 
“No catch,” Y/N answers coolly. “Why would there be?”
Jeonghan suddenly remembers who he’s working with. She’s smiling, but he sees the gleam of mischief in her eyes that he’s becoming familiar with. She’s excited to face off with them. Jeonghan now realizes that she’s going to make them say it. She’s going to make them fess up to what they really think about him and about him dating her. She’s also going to make them regret it. He feels a little giddy at the thought. His hand relaxes in hers and he gives his friends a cool smile now.
“It’s just, Jeonghan doesn’t date. This is weird for all of us,” Seungcheol says with a slight smirk, kind of like he’s expecting to scare her off easily. It’s irritating, but Seungcheol doesn’t know who he’s dealing with. 
She looks up at Jeonghan with an amused expression. “Is this weird for you?” 
Automatically, Jeonghan is shaking his head, a genuine smile on his face. It really isn’t weird, which is the great irony of it all. “Of course not.”
Y/N’s expression is light but there’s a challenge in her eyes when she levels with Seungcheol and shrugs. “You’ll get over it.” Seungcheol’s eyes widen and the smirk drops a bit. Jeonghan can see he didn’t expect her to be so casual and indifferent to his prodding. 
Mingyu laughs but there’s something kind of malicious about it. Jeonghan wonders what’s happened to cause such tension between Y/N and Mingyu because he feels Y/N’s fingers twitch at the sound. He kind of wonders what she would do if both her hands weren’t full. “Y/N, honey, you know how this goes. We’re just trying to save you from the inevitable. Get out while you can.” 
“Yeah, I do know how these things go with you, Mingyu. I make it a point to not take your advice because of it,” Y/N says evenly, relaxed even.
Mingyu’s lips purse and he backs down just like that. Jeonghan’s never seen Mingyu cower like this and makes a mental note to ask what kind of dirt she has on Mingyu that makes him finally shut up. It’s Jihoon that breaks whatever tension has been building. He looks at Jeonghan with a grin. “Oh, I like her. We’re keeping her so don’t fuck this up.”
The night goes on and Jeonghan enjoys it more than any party he’s ever been to. It’s something to do with Y/N, no doubt. He liked how Joshua and Jihoon had claimed her as part of the group immediately. He liked how she hugged a drunk Chan and patted his cheek kindly when he almost cried while apologizing for puking on her shoes all those months ago. He also really liked watching her absolutely demolish both Seungcheol and Mingyu at pool. As she sunk the last ball to win against Mingyu, Seungcheol looked at him with crazed eyes. “Where the fuck did you find her?” 
“You guys found her. Remember?” Jeonghan said with a laugh. He enjoyed the sobering affect his words had on Seungcheol. That’s right. He’s not going to let him forget how all this started. This is when Jeonghan realizes he hasn’t been plotting this entire night. He’d expected that the PDA and introductions would need to be meticulously planned, but it all happens with such ease that it surprises him. Joshua had handled the introductions for him and it seemed so natural to put a hand on her back or waist or hold her hand when they stood next to each other. He finds he kind of likes it. 
Jeonghan can tell that Y/N has had enough social interaction a little after midnight and begins to pull her by the hand towards the door. He’s surprised when Seungcheol invites her to hang out with them the next day. On Sundays, they often go to the sports complex and find something to do. He’s even more surprised when she says yes. 
Very few words are necessary on the way home. They both know this has been a huge success. Enough that she lets him throw his jacket around her and take a picture of her, which is uploaded to Instagram right away. Hard launch complete. Phase two begins now. 
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It was clear on Sunday morning that her friends are staging an intervention. 
Y/N is already dressed to go to the sports complex later and comes out on the hunt for some breakfast. She finds her living room full and six pairs of eyes on her. Wonwoo is the one to pat the seat next to him and ask that she sit down. He starts gently. “We saw the post. It’s blowing up on instagram. Is there something you’d like to tell us?” 
She loves Wonwoo, and all of them really, but there’s an expectant look in their eyes that makes her seethe. Like they think they deserve answers. “Does it matter?”
“Matters?! Yes it - of course it matters, Y/N. You’ve been dating and you didn’t even tell us,” Wonwoo cries, calm facade gone. 
“This is what this intervention is about? That I’m dating and didn’t announce it immediately?” She can’t help but deadpan in total disbelief.
“Yes! Y/N, it’s so unlike you to not tell us what’s going on with you,” Soonyoung answers, frowning. 
“Have we done something?” Junhui asks. 
“Have you done something? Is that a serious question?” Minghao puts his face in his hands because he must know where this is going. He’s already been ripped apart for this once back at the coffee shop. The others are genuinely nodding though. Minghao must not have said much about their conversation because it would have served as a warning. Y/N laughs bitterly, running a hand down her face in exasperation. “I’d like to know where you all find the audacity to ask me that like you haven’t been hiding things from me for who knows how long.” 
Besides Minghao, they look surprised, like they’d already forgotten the big reveal at dinner the other night. “Y/N, I promise we didn’t tell you only because we didn’t want it to be a setback,” Seungkwan tried to reason. 
“And you didn’t think it would be a setback when I found out while he’s sitting across from me at dinner, which I didn’t even want to be at by the way? I sucked it up and went for Junhui because it was his night. Did you think that felt great to find out that not only did Seokmin toss out nearly 7 years together because he has bigger and better things to do, but one of those bigger and better things included moving on in what? A matter of months? Was it even that long? Did you think it felt great to know that everyone else knew before me?” Now Y/N is out of her seat, refusing to be placated by Wonwoo whose trying to pull her back down. “You guys are supposed to be my friends. Seokmin and I intentionally didn’t make you guys pick between us but it seems like you did anyway. And now you all are upset that I’m moving on? It’s okay for Seokmin to be happy after he tossed me out like trash and I can’t go on a fucking date a year later and be happy about it?”
“And you think Yoon Jeonghan will make you happy?” Vernon ask pointedly. 
“Yes! I wouldn’t be dating him I didn’t think so!” Tears of frustration are pricking at her eyes now. She doesn’t like how they’re talking about Jeonghan, regardless of whether any of it is real or not, and she doesn’t like that her happiness is so conditional to them. 
“Y/N, honey… he’s just such a far cry from Seokmin in literally every way,” Wonwoo tried to reason. She knows what he means. Seokmin is sunshine personified, a hero, known to be one of the kindest people you’d meet, and Jeonghan’s the evil villain in this story to them. But Jeonghan hasn’t destroyed her. He seems to be going out his way to make sure he doesn’t with their little plan. No amount of loyalty and kept Seokmin from doing that though. 
“It’s almost as if that’s the entire fucking point. You guys watched Seokmin rip my heart out after so long together and you still seem to think he’s the good guy here. Seokmin’s not the guy you think he is, but neither is Jeonghan. This intervention is over. Fuck you guys.”
She doesn’t know who knocks on her bedroom door every now and then but she doesn’t respond. When it’s time to leave for the sports complex, she walks past the living room quickly, ignoring their calls. She stuffs her feet in her tennis shoes and she’s out the door. 
Jeonghan meets her in the lobby. She’s sure he can tell something’s wrong immediately, but he doesn’t ask right away. He tells her that Mingyu and Seungcheol are already at the gym but they’re in no hurry so they can take their time walking.
It’s when she continually silences calls and ignores texts before finally shutting off her phone entirely that Jeonghan has to ask. “Is everything okay?”
“My friends staged an intervention this morning. I’m still pissed.”
“Intervention? I’m gonna need you to elaborate.” So she does, because she doesn’t see a point in keeping it secret from him. He should know about it before he comes around her friends, if they’re still even considered that. It’s strange how she finds some comfort in hooking onto his arm that’s stuffed in his coat pocket and even stranger how he doesn’t seem to react. This was the man that didn’t know what innocent touch really was until a week ago, but it feels so natural. Just like last night at the party.
When she’s done explaining, he looks conflicted. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize this would cause such a rift for you and your friends.” 
“The rift was already there when they started keeping secrets from me. They just made it worse by expecting honesty when they weren’t giving it back in return.” She tightens her hand around his arm, leaning into him a bit. He must think she’s cold because he loosely throws the arm over her shoulder and pulls her into his side. It’s the closest they’ve been at this point but it’s not uncomfortable at all. Y/N even thinks it’s kind of nice. 
“You’re right, but… it doesn’t help that I’m me. If it were anyone else they might not have reacted that way.” He sounds a little dejected and when she looks up he’s even pouting a bit. She resists the urge to squish his face.
“You know I don’t give a shit about that, right? I know what I agreed to. Besides, you’ve been good to me in ways that others haven’t. If they understood that, they’d back off.” It takes a while but he finally looks down and meets her eyes. 
“It’s just what you deserve. You deserve more than a fake boyfriend really, but I’ll have to do for now.” He looks sheepish but full on laughs when Y/N elbows him in the ribs. 
“Hey! Stop being gross! It’s too cold for this shit!” Jeonghan and Y/N spot Mingyu in front of the sports complex with Seungcheol. It’s Mingyu who yelled, but Seungcheol is laughing. 
It turns out that Mingyu and Seungcheol only brought Y/N to challenge her. It seems they took their losses in pool very hard and needed redemption. First, it was basketball, then it was soccer, then it was volleyball. With Jeonghan’s help, Y/N demolished Mingyu and Seungcheol in each one. The moment they give up is when Jeonghan sets the volleyball to her and she spikes it down their throats.
“How the fuck did you even jump like that? You’re like half my size!” Mingyu whines, throwing himself on the ground. Seungcheol’s on his knees, head in his hands. They’re still bitter about their losses when they end up at a sushi restaurant that Y/N picked. Oh right, they were competing for who’d pay for dinner and drinks the whole time, because Jeonghan’s friends truly believed their first loss was a total fluke. Mingyu and Seungcheol hand over their cards with a grumble when the bill comes but Y/N is satisfied because not only did she eat whatever she wanted on their tab but it seems like she’s winning them over. Jeonghan’s assured her that the competition is a good sign and whatever snide comments they make now are playful in nature. They even ask when they can hang out with her again. 
It’s been hours since she left, so she’s surprised to find all of her friends still in her living room when she gets home. They look positively panicked. “Y/N, we’re glad you’re okay, we kept trying to call you and we couldn’t check your location.” Soonyoung is hugging her tightly but she’s still pissed. She peels away from him and begins to put away her shoes. 
“Yeah, I turned my phone off.”
“Y/N, we’d like to say some things, if you’d let us,” Vernon started. 
All of them did look exceptionally guilty, but they’d still have to work for it. She crossed her arms but refused to sit down. “Go on.” All of them looked at Wonwoo like they’d rehearsed this. They probably did, now that she thinks about it. Fights like this don’t happen often in this group.
“We’re sorry. We were trying to spare you the hurt but I guess that was unavoidable,” Wonwoo said. “We should have just told you so maybe you had time to process it before you had to see him again. We’re also sorry that we made you feel like we picked Seokmin over you. I promise it’s not like that. We’re all still conflicted about how things went with you two. We do want you to be happy, but we want you to be careful. Yoon Jeonghan is just… not our first choice. But if it’s yours, we’ll support it.”
“Then who is? Whose your first choice?” None of them answer and some of them won’t even make eye contact. Y/N scoffs. “Still keeping secrets, I see.”
“It doesn’t matter who our first choice is. All that matters is that you’re happy. If that’s with Jeonghan, then we’ll support it and we’d love to officially meet him,” Minghao said. He looks stressed. He’s looked stressed since the day at the cafe. He relaxes a bit when Y/N agrees to arrange something. They all do. 
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Jeonghan readily agrees to abandon any Friday night plans that he might have had (which was nothing because he hadn’t been committing to anything or anyone besides Y/N and their plotting lately) in exchange for game night with Y/N and her friends. However, he agrees on Monday and immediately begins to panic. He’s aware that her friends aren’t his biggest fans. He even understands it. This is different than proving to his friends, who usually seem to like him, that he can hold down a relationship. This is simply proving to her friends he’s not a totally bad guy. He’ll even settle for being an okay guy. Breaking his image is critical with them if this will work. He and Y/N both know how it would look for her friends to not be supportive. It would negate a lot of their efforts. 
He and Y/N spend a lot of time talking about how this might go on Thursday night after their class. This time, they go to get fast food in Jeonghan’s car because it’s getting too cold to walk. The radio plays lowly while they both sit sideways in their seats for what feels like hours. He kind of feels like he’s getting a pep talk to meet her parents in a way. They ultimately decide that he’ll need to show some humility and play up his sweet nature. Jeonghan laughed when she recommended that, but she reminds him that he wasn’t very cocky the other night when she met his friends. They decide to play the PDA by ear, but that it will look better if he sticks around for a while that night and doesn’t try to sneak off with or without her. They’re still suspicious of his intentions and they need to be convinced that this is all innocent right now. 
On Friday, he shows up early to help Y/N cook dinner. She doesn’t ask him to, he just does, pushing past her when she opens her apartment door and picking up a knife to start chopping things that are laid out on the counter. She doesn’t ask but he’s sure she already knows this is just to work off some nervous energy. 
When her friends start to show up, he learns a few things fast. Soonyoung does not know how to handle his alcohol and swings wildly between imitating a tiger and crying. There’s very little reaction to this so it must be normal. Seungkwan is the biggest gossip he’s ever met and seems to know everyone’s business, even some of his. That’s a little intimidating, but it seems to work in his favor that he’s embarrassed by it. Vernon is very critical of Jeonghan’s movie choices and has some strong opinions on the Star Wars series. Jeonghan has to talk movie theories to get into his good graces. Wonwoo is a huge nerd (this doesn’t surprise Jeonghan, but Wonwoo’s much more shameless about it here). He brags at his rank in some first-person shooter game that Jeonghan’s never really played. Junhui tells really bad, cringe worthy jokes and Jeonghan thinks he might be his favorite here because it breaks a lot of the tension in the air. And Minghao is totally in love with Y/N. 
The way he looks at her says it all. Everybody seems to know, except for maybe Y/N. It’s especially obvious with how he avoids all contact with Jeonghan if he can help it, despite him being the one to ask for introductions in the first place according to Y/N. It occurs to him that she could get something else out of this deal if Minghao manned up and confessed after their ‘break up’. The idea leaves a bitter taste in his mouth for reasons unknown and he tries to be subtle about downing his drink to wash it out. Picturing them together is something he can’t spend a lot of time on and he kind of hopes he never has to see it if and when it happens.
Someone pulls out UNO and apparently they totally ignore the rule disallowing stacking of drawing cards. It’s even crossed out in the little paper manual from the box in pink glittery ink. Jeonghan doesn’t have to wonder who did that. The game is vicious and by the end of it Soonyoung isn’t the only one tearing up with so many cards that they can’t even hold them all in their hands. Jeonghan wins by sheer luck. He would usually cheat excessively at games like this but he swears he didn’t when he’s accused. Some of them don’t seem to believe him.
To put a stop to the heated threats and crying, Wonwoo moves everyone into the living room for some video games. This has the opposite effect and Jeonghan watches as Seungkwan nearly breaks the controller when he loses. Jeonghan becomes a little distracted when Y/N leans into him more to dodge Vernon’s arms flying in rage when he also loses. Without thinking, Jeonghan’s arm comes around her waist and he’s pulling her into his side. She folds instantly, laying her head onto his chest. His heart races and he’s sure she can hear it. 
At some point, they switch to Just Dance and Y/N has swung her legs over his lap. He mindlessly plays with her hands in her lap. He doesn’t know what this looks like to her friends but he finds he doesn’t care all that much. This isn’t about putting on a show because it feels nice and she’s warm and smells good. His heart races more when she twists the rings on his finger. He’s so comfortable with this and he realizes so fucked because this isn’t really requiring much acting anymore and he can’t imagine doing this with anyone else in a matter of three months. 
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The following weeks become predictable in some ways. Jeonghan and Y/N spend every spare moment together. Jeonghan’s friends regularly crash these moments, especially Seungcheol and Mingyu who have become particularly fond of Y/N. There are also the occasional interruptions from Y/N’s friends, though they’re still pretty guarded. They’re at least making an effort to be friendly when they see Jeonghan and extend invitations to him when he’s around. 
Their friend groups had even started to mingle some. It was approaching the end of the semester and Soonyoung and Chan were planning a Christmas party before everyone went home for the holidays. Jeonghan was surprised that all of his friends agreed despite the fact that it wouldn’t be the rager that they’re used to. 
Since the game night at Y/N’s apartment, she and Jeonghan have also taken to an open door policy at each others apartments. They don’t need invitations, though it’s nice. They just show up when they’re bored - if they weren’t already together, that is. They aren’t even trying to act cute together, as Y/N put it, anymore. They just enjoy each other’s company and often times innocent touches come naturally. 
He especially likes holding her hand as they walk or cuddling with her on the couch. His friends tease him about it, saying he should let Y/N breathe a little, but he notices she’s just as guilty of initiating physical contact. She likes to hold his arm and huddle into his warmth when they walk around campus in the snow and plays with his hair when he lays on her with his face in her neck or on her chest. He soaks up all of it because it’s so unlike what he’s experienced before. It’s innocent and warm and floods his entire body with something totally unique that he can’t identify. 
But he still wants her badly in other ways and doesn’t want to talk about how it keeps him up at night when his thoughts turn into something not so innocent. He feels guilty about how fast it makes him come sometimes as he touches himself. He’s sure she doesn’t mean any of her touches like that so his 3am habits will remain a dirty little secret. 
What’s totally unpredictable is the attention that both of them started getting. Many guys on campus now approach Y/N to hit on her. One straight up told her, “If Yoon Jeonghan can get with you, then anyone can.” He, along with any others, got ripped apart. Jeonghan didn’t even find out about these conversations from her and certainly didn’t witness them. She was starting to get a reputation of her own and Jeonghan grinned when he overheard one guy tell another not to mess with her and that she and Jeonghan must be kind of serious. 
Jeonghan was also getting attention, maybe even more than when he was single. Some women even approached him when Y/N was with him, like him holding her hand or carrying her bag didn’t matter to them. His shiny new reputation as adoring boyfriend was apparently very likable, even to women that had said they outright hated him before. In another life he might have lived for this kind of adoration, but it got old very fast. By now, he had perfected the friendly yet firm response of, “No thank you, I’m not interested,” and if Y/N was with him he happily introduced her with special emphasis on the word ‘girlfriend’. If they continued to push, he’d become pretty mean. He wasn’t interested in hearing anyone bad mouth Y/N, and he also wasn’t interested in making her look bad by letting it slide. 
The day after finals are done, Y/N is making lists in her little notebook about desserts she plans to make for the holiday party. Joshua has joined them because he can bake and Jeonghan should not. Instead, Jeonghan is seeing what ugly Christmas sweaters he can find online that will get here fast. 
Joshua and Y/N finalize a recipe and ingredient list they’ve been working on and take a break. “When are you going home for the holidays, Y/N?” Joshua asks. Jeonghan frowns. He’s been so busy with the end of the semester and interviewing for his internship that he’d forgotten to ask what her plans were. He feels like a bad boyfriend. Or a bad fake one anyway. At the very least, a bad friend, which he considers them to be by now. 
“Oh, I’m staying here,” Y/N answers. 
Joshua glances at Jeonghan. “Oh. Is your family in town then?”
Jeonghan’s been around Y/N enough to start seeing through the mask she usually wears. There’s some tension in her mouth, the only tell at the moment. “No, they’ll be abroad for the holidays. They usually are.” 
This is news to Jeonghan. He’s abandoned his phone entirely now. Over the past month or so that they’d been ‘dating’, she’d never mentioned her family and he’s never witnessed a phone call or text between them. He just assumed they weren’t close. He hadn’t realized they were so distant that they didn’t even see each other for the holidays at all. 
Joshua’s asking a lot of questions now with a lot of concern. Where are they going? Didn’t you want to go with them? Do you see them often? The subsequent answers were: France, no, and no. Joshua looks devastated. “So you’ll be here by yourself the whole time?” 
Y/N shrugs. “Sometimes, I go with Wonwoo, but his family is going on a cruise this year. His parents are getting their vows renewed and it’s going to be more like a family reunion. So, yeah, I guess I’ll be here.” 
The thought of her alone on Christmas morning made Jeonghan’s chest hurt. There was no way he could stay in his parents’ home and enjoy anything knowing that. “You should come with me.”
Y/N looked surprised, but Joshua looked straight up stunned. Jeonghan knew he would get grilled about this later, but it wasn’t important right now. What was important was getting Y/N to agree. “Hannie,” Y/N started. Jeonghan’s heart fluttered. It was a relatively new nickname and he wasn’t over it yet. He’d been used to her calling him his full name to give him a hard time (which he’d come to like too). “Are you sure? We’ve not been dating long and it wouldn’t give your family a lot of heads up.”
“I’m sure.” And he is. His parents don’t need a lot of heads up because they already know about her. His sister had promptly ratted him out after seeing his Instagram post many weeks ago. He’d take whatever embarrassment his family threw at him in her presence if it meant she wasn’t alone here the whole time. “I’m leaving the day after the party.” 
Jeonghan thinks she’s going to say no. She’s chewing on her lip now, looking right through him to make sure he’s serious. He’s long stopped being nervous when she does this whole ‘staring right into your soul’ thing. He enjoys it now, being seen by someone like this, because she’s never once made him feel bad about what she sees. Finally, she nods. “Okay. Let me know what time to be ready.”
The moment she excuses herself to go to the bathroom, Joshua’s all over him. “Han, are you serious? Taking a girl home to meet your parents?” Joshua looks ecstatic at the idea. 
Jeonghan smiles. “Yeah, of course.”
“Of course? I think I might cry.” And he really does look like he might. “I’m just really happy for you. You two fit together so well.” 
“Yeah, we do,” Jeonghan mumbles. Y/N comes back in the room, ready to go with the next recipe, none the wiser. Jeonghan blindly scrolls through ugly Christmas sweaters without really seeing them because he’s too busy thinking that maybe they only fit together so well because that’s the whole point of their little scheme. Lately, there are times that he entirely forgets about the scheme, which would end in a matter of months. His eyes start to burn at the thought.
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A couple days later, Jeonghan finds himself seated next to Y/N at the table in her apartment. It looks like Christmas threw up in here, what with the aggressive amount of colored lights and garland everywhere, the Mariah Carey song that Seungkwan is belting it out to on karaoke (which he’s not actually that bad at), and the ridiculously ugly sweaters everyone is wearing. Mingyu and Y/N are talking sports and Jeonghan isn’t keeping track of the conversation, though he’s staring at Y/N as she talks. She’s got glittery eyeliner on and it’s distracting. Seungkwan laughed at her as soon as he’d seen it, calling it gaudy, but Jeonghan defended her, saying it was cute and festive. He’d defend her glitter habit any day because it was very her and made him smile. It didn’t hurt that she smiled at him when he defended her either. That alone would have been worth it even if he hated it. 
The apartment door swung open and Y/N jumped out of the chair mid-sentence. “You made it!” She’s hugging Minseo and they’re laughing at their outfit choices. It’s nice to see because there aren’t many women that react warmly to Y/N like this. Minseo waves at Jeonghan and then she spots Mingyu. Her smile drops, turning to a sneer. 
“Mingyu.”
Mingyu looks uncomfortable. “Minseo?”
But Minseo’s already off, insisting to go next on karaoke. When Y/N sits back down, Mingyu leans across the table and hisses in barely contained rage, “You like to see me suffer, don’t you?”
Y/N’s grin is smug. “Yes, I do.”
Mingyu’s muttering about another drink as he gets up from the table. Jeonghan’s watched this whole thing with wide eyes. He leans in close to Y/N. “What the hell was that about?”
“It’s my mysterious vendetta against Mingyu. I’ll tell you later.” Jeonghan was so hooked that he was about to insist that she tell him now, but Joshua’s rounded the table to stand behind them. Across from them stands Joshua’s girlfriend, Jieun, grinning with a camera in her hand. Joshua’s started to bring her around more now that Jeonghan and Y/N are together. Something about not being the only targets now. 
It takes entirely too long to figure out why Joshua and Jieun look so sneaky. Jeonghan and Y/N spot the mistletoe at the same time, dangling from Joshua’s fingers above them. Jeonghan’s flooded with panic. As much affection as they show now, kissing had not been on the table yet and Jeonghan was beginning to think it never would be. That maybe they’d just pretend that that part of that relationship was so private that no one would ever see it, so they would never have to think about it. Y/N reaches out to grip the collar of his sweater and yank him forward. 
Just like spotting the mistletoe, it takes entirely too long to realize that he’s now kissing Y/N. A few clicks and flashes of the camera go off before he really reacts, but when he does, he’s holding her head in place. It’s gentle and there are some aww’s, but mostly gagging. It makes Y/N giggle against his lips and he can’t help but giggle too. 
He asks Jieun to send him all the photos she took. 
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“What do you mean, you and Minseo pulled a ‘John Tucker Must Die’ on Mingyu?” Jeonghan asks. Last he remembered watching that movie, he’d never seen anything like that happen to Mingyu. He would have certainly remembered it, if only for how much he enjoyed it.
They’d barely pulled onto the highway when Jeonghan started hounding Y/N about her interaction with Mingyu the night before. 
“Well, we didn’t pull a ‘John Tucker Must Die’, but let’s say we were inspired by it. And others helped,” Y/N said casually, sipping her coffee. Jeonghan thinks she looks cozy in the passenger seat, shoes kicked off and feet pulled up into the seat. One of the jackets from his back seat are over her lap as a blanket. He likes the look of it and doesn’t mind driving her around. 
“So this isn’t your first scheme, huh? No wonder you’re so good at it,” Jeonghan teased and it earns him a light slap on the arm. 
She’s laughing anyway. “Contrary to what you might be thinking, I don’t do this type of thing often. Mingyu happened to deserve it.”
Jeonghan believed that. “Tell me what happened,” he insisted. 
Long story short, Mingyu and Minseo dated while she and Y/N were roommates. This is a total surprise to Jeonghan because the way Y/N describes it is that Mingyu was head over heels, to the point that Y/N spent very little time in her room that semester. Her exact words are things like ‘sickening’, and ‘obsessive’, and ‘love-bombing’. Jeonghan couldn’t recall ever seeing his friend like that, or even hearing of a girlfriend so serious. It had apparently worked for Minseo for a while - that is, until she came across him cheating on more than one occasion.
After the first time, Minseo had come back to the dorm in tears. Y/N encouraged her to break up with him right away. He showed up the next day with flowers ‘just because’, and Minseo was weak back then.
The second time, Minseo was mad. The next day, he showed up with some luxury jewelry saying it reminded him of her. She couldn’t stay mad. 
The third time, it was Y/N that came across it. She’d been dragged to a party by Minseo and found him in the bathroom with someone that was definitely not Minseo. Mingyu panicked because he hadn’t known Minseo or anyone close to her was going to be there and as far as he knew this was the first time he’d been caught. He begged Y/N not to say anything. Y/N agreed, but the next day she slid a large whiteboard she’d stolen from a study room downstairs into their dorm room and demanded Minseo seek revenge. 
They started a private Facebook group simply called “Kim Mingyu Must Die.” It turns out that Minseo was far from his first victim. The way Y/N puts it, it practically became a full-time job for a few weeks simply managing the volume of traffic that was coming through. Screenshots, phone call recordings, even some videos of him partaking in some unflattering locker room talk. The kicker was the growing list of embarrassing sexual escapades. Mingyu was not nearly as smooth as he portrayed himself to be. 
Minseo broke up with him by inviting him to the Facebook group.
Jeonghan had to pull over because he was crying from laughing so hard. “Show me right now! No, invite me!” He was positively gleeful the rest of the drive. 
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When he parked the car on the street outside of his parents’ house, he noticed that Y/N didn’t move to get out of the car right away. “You good?” 
“It might be a little late to ask this, but are you sure this is a good idea?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” Jeonghan asked, but he thinks he already knows the answer. At least part of it. This is temporary. The initial plan wasn’t to lie to their families - or his family that is. He wasn’t sure if her family even knew about him and hasn’t brought it up because it seems like a sore subject.
“Have you ever brought a girl home?” Y/N asked, but she’s not looking at him, examining the cheesy Christmas decor that his mom insists on putting up. 
Jeonghan has to laugh because the situation they’re in should make it obvious. “No.”
“What have you told them about me? I assume I’m not a total surprise… right?” She looks at him with wide eyes. 
Just like that it’s his turn to look away because he definitely can’t look at her when he answers. “I told them we met in class. That you were pretty, and funny, and took absolutely no shit.” Jeonghan picks at some fuzz on his sweats to keep avoiding her eyes. “I wasn’t sure how much you wanted me to say. But they’re looking forward to meeting you.”
She reaches out and captures his hand and he grips back reflexively, looking up at her. She’s not shy about physical touch with him, never really has been since all of this started, but it almost makes him feel giddy every time she initiates the contact. “You’re okay with me being here?”
“Yes, I wouldn’t have invited you otherwise.” His answer is automatic and honest. “Are you though? I can take you home. We haven't gone in yet.” He means it. He’d start driving again and tell them he’s running behind and Y/N couldn’t make it. Or maybe even bail entirely just to stay with her back at her apartment. There were a couple hours on the road to think of a decent excuse.
Her grip gets tighter on his hand and she looks back at the house. He patiently waits for her. “I’m not used to what you might consider a normal family dynamic. I’m going to be awkward. Really awkward, probably.”
“We’ll make it work. I’m just glad you’re here and not alone at home the whole break.” 
She looks like she’s steeling herself. “Will you hold my hand?” 
Jeonghan’s heart could explode. “You know I will. As soon as I can put the suitcases down.”
He keeps his promise. As soon as the suitcases are placed in the entry way, Jeonghan is helping her with her coat and shoes. There’s a yell from the kitchen. “Is that my son?!”
“Yep!” He yells back, before turning to Y/N and offering his hand. 
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His parents are warm. It’s the best way to describe it. When Y/N spots them, they’re in the kitchen cooking dinner together. Both are wearing cheesy Christmas aprons and their smiles are huge when they spot Jeonghan. He has to drop Y/N’s hand to hug both of them and it kind of looks like they’re squeezing the life out of him. But as soon as he’s got some space between him and his parents, his hand is on Y/N’s back. It’s grounding to her if only for a moment. 
“This is my girlfriend, Y/N,” he says simply. To her surprise, she’s pulled into a hug by both of his parents. At the same time. She tries to be polite but she’s totally overwhelmed by it. Jeonghan waves them off, “Okay, okay, don’t scare her off, please.”
As soon as they back off, she’s close to Jeonghan again and she hopes it doesn’t seem rude. She cares about what they think and she can’t pinpoint why in the moment. Jeonghan’s hand falls to her back like it’s the most natural thing in the world. She doesn’t know what to do with herself but his mom leaves very little time to stress. 
“Y/N, how’s your baking?” Y/N says ‘okay’ and Jeonghan says ‘amazing’. His mom smiles again, handing her a whisk. “Great, you get to help me make dessert.”
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Hours later, after dinner, Jeonghan says they’re going to turn in for bed early. He makes the usual excuses like traveling, but really he can see that Y/N is still totally overwhelmed and needs the opportunity to regroup. Upstairs, he points her to the bathroom across the hall for a shower and he takes the chance to tidy up his room. Since he’s been with her, he’s made an effort of trying to keep his space clean in case she comes over. Last time he was home to visit he wasn’t with her yet, so it’s not in the greatest condition. 
While putting fresh sheets on the bed, he tries not to think about how they’ve agreed to share his room for the duration of their trip. His sister’s coming in tomorrow so her old room is not an option beyond tonight. Y/N insisted he not sleep on the couch, and Jeonghan let it be known that her sleeping on the couch was never even an option. 
This is a boundary that they haven’t crossed yet. They might spend just about every waking moment with each other, but there had been no sleepovers yet. He trusts that she’d tell him if she didn’t like the sleeping arrangements or if she has any ground rules for the next week or so. She’s not usually shy to tell him what she’s thinking. But this is most certainly a test of his restraint and he doesn’t want to mess everything up.
When she comes in, he doesn’t look at her right away, too busy shaking a pillow into a pillow case. “Feel better?” 
“Yeah, thanks,” she says, but the crack in her voice makes his head snap up. Her eyes look puffy and red and he can only assume she’d cried some while in the bathroom. Some guilt is settling in. Maybe he hadn’t realized just how overwhelmed she was. He wonders what her life was like before, as a child, as a teenager, if a few hours of basic kindness and warmth from his parents has her like this. 
He throws the pillow down and opens his arms. She walks right into them, wrapping her arms around his waist. He finds himself practically folding himself around her, bending some to put his head next to hers instead of on top. He can smell her shampoo and his hands rub her back without much thought. His T-shirt is starting to get wet and he’s pretty sure it’s not just because of her freshly washed hair. 
Jeonghan waits for Y/N to pull away first and when she does, he’s ushering her under the covers. Whatever stress he had about this moment is null and void now because it’s a no brainer to slide into the sheets next to her and pull her to him. Without much of a fight, she puts her head on his chest again, one arm wrapped around him. He mindlessly alternates between patting her wet hair and rubbing her back, his other hand holding hers where it sits on his chest. He’d like to never leave this spot because it means a lot to him that she’s willing to be like this with him. 
“Want to talk about it?” He whispers after a long time. Or maybe it’s only been a few minutes. Time is moving differently right now. There’s a sniffle below him and his lips press to the top of her head before he even realizes it. 
“I’m sorry. They’re nice. I’m not used to that.” 
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Jeonghan insists. “I’m sorry it’s not what you’re used to, but it can be here.” 
He’s not sure why he said it. As soon as he does, he realizes he must have forgotten again that this is temporary. In just over a month, he can’t keep that promise. It should have been obvious from the start to Jeonghan, but this ‘break up’ was going to feel like a real one. When that happens, he won’t be bringing her back here to see his family, though he’d like to. He won’t be spending every waking moment with her then because all of it will hurt too much. It already does in a way with the anticipation of the ending creeping up on them. 
He feels tears pricking his eyes and there’s something jagged about his breathing. It’s like she has a sixth sense about why because she squeezes his hand. “We’re making a mess of this, huh?”
It sounds like maybe he’s not the only one who keeps forgetting, but he’s afraid to ask. He laughs and it’s a bit watery. “Yeah, you could say that.” 
Y/N is twisting now, nearly laying on top of him. His body heats and hardens immediately at the feeling but his emotions are starting to become all over the place and it distracts him. She props her head on her hands as they lay flat on his chest, looking up at him. There’s something irresistible about how he’s pushing her hair back and holding her face while the other hand grazes the skin of her back when her shirt creeps up. It’s entirely too intimate to be fake anymore and he can see she knows it too. This moment isn’t to prove anything anymore. Neither of them will say it outright. 
He’s always admired her for how she can compose herself, but he likes that she doesn’t bother often at this point with him. She looks and sounds vulnerable when she whispers, “How do you want to proceed?”
He understands. This has gotten too intense, too serious. She’s giving him an opportunity to back out right now, three month agreement be damned. They can go home and say it just didn’t work out and it’s too bad. Maybe they can even stay friends because they stopped digging this hole they’re in and start climbing out together. 
Jeonghan takes a deep breath and his throat burns. “Let’s call it off after New Years.” 
Her smile is a little shaky. “Ok. Two weeks. Let’s make the most of it.”
He smashes his lips onto hers and she responds immediately, her hand flying up to tangle in his hair. He really did plan to make the most of what little time he had left. They could start climbing out of this hole in two weeks, but not now. He wanted to, no, had to keep digging while he still could before this was all over because he would need the good memories later.
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Y/N begins soaking up the warmth that is the Yoon family the next day, knowing she might not see them anytime soon after all this, or ever maybe. She soaks up the maternal energy Jeonghan’s mom constantly feeds her by baking, decorating, and wrapping presents. They gossip over wine and trash TV, and Jeonghan’s sister joins them when she’s home and not visiting friends while she’s in town. His sister is hilarious and Y/N immediately enjoys watching how she pokes fun at Jeonghan when they bicker, which is every single moment they’re in a room together. Y/N is an only child so the dynamic is new to her, but between the shouting matches and headlocks they appear to love each other. Then she spends time playing games and having snowball fights with Mr. Yoon, who’s a bigger kid than either of his actual kids. He likes to laugh and his horrible dad jokes have her in stitches. 
Then there’s Jeonghan. When she said they should make the most of the rest of their holiday, she hadn’t expect that it meant he’d be glued to her the whole time. There were not many moments that he wasn’t touching Y/N in some way, not that she would ever complain. 
And it didn’t stop when they crawled into bed each night. It might start innocently at first, but the moment either one of them leaned in to give a kiss, it became heated quickly and one was on top of the other. She was soaking that up too. The feeling of sitting on his lap with his hands up the back of her shirt, grazing and gripping her back as he kissed her made shivers run through her. Or feeling him laying on top of her between her parted legs while his tongue dipped into her mouth lit a fire she hadn’t experienced in a long time. 
If she was being honest, it had never felt like this with anyone before, period. Not that she had experienced something like this with anyone else besides Seokmin, but it had never been like this with him either. No clothes had even come off yet between she and Jeonghan and it was one of the best experiences of her life. Far better than thinking about him in the middle of the night while she touched herself back home. 
She wasn’t proud to admit it, but there were times that she grew a little self-conscious of her inexperience compared to his significant amount of experience. She wanted to measure up to what he’d had before. However, most of that worry washed away with how he reacted to her touch. She’d run her hands into his hair and he’d sigh. She’d bite his lip or neck and he’d gasp. She’d run a hand up the back of his shirt when he was laying on top of her and leave scratch marks and he’d groan into her mouth. It was intoxicating to get those little reactions and know that he was as turned on as she was. Even if he didn’t give her those little sounds, she could feel how hard he was when he pressed against her. 
And he made sure to find what she liked too and keep doing it over and over. His hand in her hair was her favorite, but the runner ups were things like his hands running up her thighs to her ass when she was in his lap, or his mouth and teeth on her neck. Not that she hated anything he did. It all felt like heaven. 
They’d come very close to taking things too far many times. When they were at that tipping point, Jeonghan would be the one to pull back and lighten his touches, a clear signal that it was time for a breather. Despite how hard he was against her, he had stopped every time this happened. His restraint surprised her given what she’d heard about him and even seen herself. He’d never seemed to hesitate to sleep with someone. She was forced to consider that maybe he just didn’t want to have sex with her and it stung a little. But maybe that was a good thing in the end because, even though they’d agreed to call things off when they got back, the way they enjoyed this made things messier. 
But if he ever did offer more, she was going to take it. He might have had restraint but she didn’t think she would. 
It’s Christmas Day and the festivities were long over. Y/N’s had a somewhat emotional day because she’d expected to sit on the couch and watch the Yoon family open their gifts. The good vibes and hot chocolate would have been more than enough for her, but then they started handing her presents. She’d checked the tags with watery eyes and, sure enough, they were for her. Jeonghan’s hand had stayed on her back as he watched her open the presents as a silent show of support. They weren’t overly personal or expensive gifts. Books, a sweater, a set of glittery pens. It was enough to know that Jeonghan had given them a few pointers though. 
Now it’s the middle of the night and no longer Christmas Day even, and Jeonghan’s got his front pressed tightly against her back. She can feel his soft breaths in her hair. “Hannie?” He hums sleepily. “Is it weird that I got you a gift?” 
She hears his breath catch and then he tightens his arm around her. “No, I got you one too. Wasn’t sure when to give it to you though. If you even wanted it. Does it still classify as a Christmas gift now?” 
He’s giggling and it makes her giggle too. “If it’s in Christmas wrapping paper, then yes.” Y/N rotates a bit to see him, though he’s so buried in her hair she’s not seeing much. “Do you want yours?” 
One eye peels open and then he’s grinning. “Okay.” Y/N is up in a flash digging into the bottom of her suitcase. She and Jeonghan sit on the bed facing each other and Jeonghan has very little hesitation about opening the gift when she hands it to him. When he peels the lid off the box and lifts the tissue paper, he stops. She’s afraid maybe she’s made a mistake, especially when he sniffles a bit. He admires the simple frame holding a familiar picture. It’s one of the many that Jieun took of them at the party a week ago. It’s the moment where they’re giggling after their first kiss. 
“How did you do this? We left the day after this was taken.” Jeonghan gets lost in the photo. 
“Jieun sent me the pictures. I got this one printed and bought a frame when your mom and I went out the other day for more baking stuff.” 
She’s getting nervous, but then he laughs, wiping his eyes. “So sneaky. Do you want yours?”
“Okay,” Y/N answers softly. She doesn’t know what to expect and she’s really nervous now. She’s not used to gifts, usually refuses them because she feels so awkward accepting them. Jeonghan opens the drawer of his bedside table and pulls out a small box. He carefully places it in front of her. 
“I’m sorry if it’s weird, but it made me think of you.” She wants to say there’s probably nothing he could do that she’d find weird. Instead, she picks up the gift and gently unwraps it. She lifts the lid up and something shiny catches her eye. It’s a silver ring with suns and moons on it. When she takes it out of its cushion, the outside layer of the ring spins. She can feel Jeonghan’s eyes on her but she doesn’t know how to react so she keeps examining the ring. 
“It’s - uh, it spins because you like to play with my rings like that. And the suns and moons reminded me of how you doodle them on your notes all the time.”
She still can’t look at him, but she mumbles, “You surprise me, Yoon Jeonghan.” She slides it onto a finger and it fits. She’s not sure how he got the right size. 
“Is that a good thing right now?” He jokes, but there’s a tinge of anxiety in his tone that gives him away. 
Y/N swipes all of the boxes and wrapping paper out of her way and lunges for him, crawling into his lap. He doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her, pulling her in even closer. She’s hiding in his neck when she mumbles, “Yes, it’s my favorite thing.”
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Jeonghan and Y/N drive back the day after Christmas. Jeonghan tries to keep a positive attitude, but he dreads going back because it reminds him that the clock is ticking. He thinks Y/N might be feeling the same way, though she’s wearing a mask again. At least it’s a happy one and not her usual poker face. He grips her thigh the whole way home like its an anchor and hers sits on top. 
It feels bittersweet to arrive back to his empty apartment. Seungcheol won’t be back for another few days. This is the longest he’s been away from Y/N in weeks, but they both agreed they need to do some laundry and catch up on some things. Jeonghan thinks this is only a taste of the distance they’re about to have because he doesn’t know how to broach the topic of being friends after all this. 
But he’s glad they’re on the same page later that night because just as he’s about to slip on shoes to go to her apartment, she knocks on his door. She says it’s because Vernon’s away still and she didn’t want to be home alone, but they both know it’s because they don’t know how to sleep apart now after just a week of it. He pulls her into his bed and when he can’t breathe from kissing her anymore, he falls asleep with his face in her neck. 
The next night, it’s Jeonghan who knocks on her door and she opens it like she’s been waiting for him. He’s laying with his head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat as she threads her fingers through his hair. He so close to sleep but her hand stays busy in his hair and it seems like she’s not as sleepy at all with the pace she’s keeping. So he asks what she’s thinking about. 
After a long beat, Y/N finally asks, “would you ever have sex with me? If I asked?” 
He lifts his head up, nearly hovering over her now. He knows his look is intense, but he can’t help it. “I’d give you anything you want. All you have to do is ask.” He means it. He waits and watches her while his fingers twitch against her stomach. He’d been so careful to pull away every time it seemed like that was where things were headed because the last thing he wanted to do was make her feel pressured or complicate this whole thing further. But he’d fold the moment she asked. He knows it and he’s okay with it. Wants it even. 
Y/N’s hand laces through the hair at the nape of his neck and she’s scanning his face carefully. “I want you.” 
He lets her pull him down and her kiss is soft. He feels her hand shake on the back of his neck. He’s hovering over her completely now, arms braced around her head. When they run out of breath, he runs his lips down her jaw and onto her neck. “Tell me what you want. I’ll do it.” Something like a sigh and whine escapes her lips. He’s not doing it to be cruel or tease her. He really just wants to do everything to please her as long as she’ll let him. He places a few pecks up under her ear and then sucks at the spot and she gasps. “Come on, baby. Tell me.”
“Clothes off, now.” He sits back on his knees and follows her command immediately because her voice right now is one of the sexiest things he’s ever heard and it makes him throb. He peels off his shirt and sweats and he’s about to ask for permission to undress Y/N but she’s already tossing off her hoodie and yanking her sleep shorts down her legs. His brain is trying to catch up with the fact that she wasn’t wearing anything underneath the hoodie, but Y/N is impatient and pulls him back down to her by the shoulder. A groan bubbles up from his chest into his throat. 
He wants his hands everywhere all at once. Her skin is warm and feels so soft under his touch, and he loves the sigh that she lets out as his hand come up her stomach to her chest. She’s so fucking responsive and he’s never wanted anyone more in his life. When she flat out moans as he pinches one of her nipples lightly, he has to pull back just to look at her. He wants to keep working her up like this, but he’s also working himself up at an alarmingly rapid rate. 
He cups her breast to squeeze and kisses her again, before barely pulling back to whisper against her lips. “What now?” He’s switching hands to give attention to her other breast and she arches into him. “Where do you want me?”
“Lower, please,” she says and he thinks he could come totally untouched. The need in her voice worms its way into his brain and he kind of hopes he never forgets it.
“You don’t have to say ‘please’ with me, Y/N. At least not right now.” Because he’s decided that if she ever lets him do this again he’ll make her beg until she cries. But not now. She can have whatever she wants. 
His hand skates down her stomach to the top of her panties, a cute pair that has polar bears skiing on them. He smiles against her cheek because he loves it. Loves that she doesn’t have to even try to be the hottest woman he’s ever seen, even without all the lace. Loves that she’s so lost in his touch that she doesn’t show a hint of embarrassment about it. His fingertip finds the band of her panties and runs underneath the edge and he loves how she shudders. He pulls his finger out and runs his hand down to totally cup her over the material now and her eyebrows are pinched. He rubs softly, feeling a wet patch forming under his fingertips. He pulls the panties to the side and gives a soft, experimental stroke to her lips, dipping between. 
It makes whatever control he thought he had snap. Now he was moaning with her because she was soaked. “Fuck, baby. Did I do this for you?” 
She nods, hand now gripping his bicep like an anchor. “You always have,” Y/N sighs.
Jeonghan feels like a man possessed now. His fingers dip into her wetness before they land on her clit and he starts circling slowly. “Did you touch yourself like this thinking about me? Did you make yourself come?” She doesn’t answer because she’s gasping and her nails are digging into his arm. “Answer, baby.”
“Yes. Many times,” Y/N grits out. 
Jeonghan’s pulling back, hands leaving her as he leans back on his knees. “Show me.” His tone is demanding and her eyes snap open. He’s never seen her look so surprised and maybe that makes sense because he just told her he’d do anything for her. After this, though. He needs this. “Show me how you touch yourself, how you make yourself come. I want to see it.” 
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Y/N feels like she’s on fire. “But I want you to touch me.” She whines but it doesn’t seem to matter because something has shifted in Jeonghan’s eyes. A hardness that she’s never seen before. 
His hands reach down to grab her knees, lightly pushing them apart. “And I want to see you come before I touch you. Then I’ll make you come as many times in as many ways as you can take, I promise.” His intensity numbs her mind and she wonders how much she can take from him if he’s like this. His promise replays in her head and she’s fucking aching for something, anything. 
So she slips her panties down her legs and tosses them somewhere, she doesn’t care, and spreads her legs wide. One of her hands finds one of her breasts, rolling her nipple, and the other slides down between her legs. She would usually do this with her eyes closed, but she can’t because the way Jeonghan’s eyes are tracking her movements makes her drip. 
She slides two fingers inside of herself right away and sighs at the feeling, but she feels herself flutter around her own fingers at the way Jeonghan’s breath hitches. He’s watching closely, eyes glazing over, lips parted a bit. Her fingers pump in and out at a slow pace and Jeonghan’s hand grips her knee. Now both of her hands are between her legs, one rubbing her clit and the other pumping three fingers in and out. Her high is approaching fast. Jeonghan’s now centered himself between her legs, both hands on her inner thighs, spreading her as wide as she can go, nearly beyond her flexibility. Her orgasm slams into her, her eyes snapping shut, but Jeonghan’s still watching because he’s holding her legs open when they try to close reflexively. 
Y/N sags back into the bed feeling boneless. When she opens her eyes, Jeonghan sounds a little out of breath. She sees his cock twitching in his boxers. The hand that was just inside her comes up in a ‘come here’ motion and he obeys immediately. “Open.” His eyes flare in shock. “Open so you can taste me.” His pupils are totally blown out, but his jaw drops, tongue sticking out. Three of her fingers dip into his mouth and he moans around them. 
After only a few licks, he’s gripping her wrist and pushing it back onto the bed over her head. His other hand lightly closes around her throat and she feels in her eyes roll back and jaw drop at the touch. His tongue is in her mouth and she can taste herself. Then he’s moving fast, his tongue dragging down her neck, her chest, to her center. “Oh, baby. I hope you can handle it because I want to see that over and over again.” 
Y/N wants it even if she can’t handle it. The moment he’s laid between her legs, hands on the inside of her thighs again, she’s gripping his hair and pulling him forward. He’s groaning when his mouth first touches her cunt. He doesn’t hesitate now, doesn't wait for her to tell him what she wants anymore. His tongue laps across the entirety of her pussy, getting a good taste of her before he starts an unforgiving routine. His tongue dips into her over and over and just when she’s close his lips move to close around her clit until she’s close again. Then repeat. She must be gripping and pulling his hair painfully now to keep him where she wants him to no avail, but it just makes him moan into her cunt louder.
Tears are filling her eyes at how overwhelmingly good everything feels and now she’s babbling, gripping the sheets. “Please, Hannie. Your fingers. Want to cum.” Two of his fingers slide in immediately and they feel so much better than her own, stretching wider and reaching that place that’s always just out of reach for her. He finds it quickly, rubbing circles into it. His lips close around her clit again, tongue dancing across it, and tears are streaming down her face now. She’s not sure she’s breathing. 
Her vision goes white and she has no idea what she sounds like. He holds her legs open, letting her ride it out. When some sense comes back to her, she mumbles, “Holy fuck, how did you do that?”
Jeonghan’s giggling against her thigh and she snaps up, propping herself up on her forearms to look down at him. This can’t be the man that just made her see god with his tongue. She smirks and he notices the shift immediately, raising an eyebrow in question. “Your turn, now.”
His mouth pops open. “What - no, baby, you don’t have to do that.”
“You said I could have anything I want, right?” He nods quickly. “Then I want your cock in my mouth.” 
Y/N watches with glee as his eyes roll back in his head. “Baby, you can’t say things like that!”
“Why not? You don’t like it? I thought you wanted me to tell you what I want and you’d give it to me.” She knows she’s playing with fire because he could have her coming again in moments if he wanted to, but she likes how fast he folds. He’s flopping next to her on the bed and pulling her into a heated kiss in moments. 
“Yeah, of course I like it. I like anything you say,” he mumbles against her lips and doesn’t stop her when her hand slides from his chest all the way down. He gasps into her mouth the moment her hand makes contact, rubbing his cock through his boxers and then giving a soft squeeze. His eyes are shut tight. His hand snaps out to grip her wrist, but he doesn’t make her stop her motions. “Baby, I’m not gonna last long if you do this. I’ve already been close so many times tonight.”
Y/N ignores the warning. If she can come more than once, so can he. She continues rubbing him, pressing light kisses to his lips and cheek while he looks a little lost. “Tell me something, since you already know my secret. Have you ever touched yourself thinking of me?” 
“Yes,” he whispers, eyes still shut tight. 
Y/N hums next to his ear now. “Tell me what you were thinking about. What made you come?” His hips jerk up to meet her motion and she grins. “Come on, baby. Tell me what you want.”
The grip on her wrist tightens and then suddenly he’s gripping her throat again as he laughs deep in his chest. “You evil woman, using my own words against me.” His lips land harshly on hers but he has to pull away to moan when she adds significant pressure to his cock. 
Her fingers dip into the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down enough to reveal his cock. She becomes wetter by the second as she takes him into her hands. He’s falling into her neck now, broken moans with every stroke of her hand. The fingers of her other hand thread back into his hair again like it’s her favorite thing to do, but this time she tugs hard. His cock twitches in her hands. “Tell me what you think about when you touch yourself and I’ll let you come.”
Jeonghan sighs and Y/N thinks she’ll never get enough of watching his eyes roll back like this. “I think about you on your knees with my cock down your throat. You crying on my cock as I ruin you. You creaming all over me.” She strokes him faster, expecting that to be it, but it’s not. He’s getting worked up and words are spilling out fast. “You moaning my name. Crying my name.” 
Y/N can’t help it. She’s already pulling away from him and kneeling between his legs. He whines at the loss but she shushes him. “You want to be good for me, don’t you?” The words have an immediate effect, his face falling into an expression she’s never seen on him before. Something like awe maybe. He nods hesitantly. “Good. Then let me taste you, too.” She’s leaning down to hold his cock again. As soon as her head is in reach, his hands are combing through her hair and she’s unsure if it’s to hold her hair back and be helpful or keep her there. Maybe both. 
She gives him a few strokes and he looks like he’s not breathing as he watches. Pride floods through her when her mouth finally wraps around his tip and he throws his head back. He’s not the only one that can tease. She alternates between sucking lightly, then deeply, licking and then pulling her mouth away all together. The way he grips her hair when she slides her mouth all the way down to the base feels so nice that she moans around him. And the way he makes this little disappointed noise when she pulls away completely is so cute that she keeps doing it. 
He’s becoming desperate, hands starting to push her down farther and hold her in place, hips thrusting up to be deeper. There’s a constant stream of curses and moans and praises falling from his lips and it seems like he doesn’t want to look away but sometimes he can’t help it. Her tongue runs against his tip as she strokes him fast with her hand and now he’s begging. “Baby, please. Y/N, I want to come. Please let me come.” 
Y/N comes up for air to say, “Go ahead, Hannie.” It only takes a few more pumps of her hand and a couple kitten licks of his tip before he’s shoving her down by the back of the head. He groans as he comes, body shaking a bit from the intensity. 
She releases him when his hand on the back of her head relaxes. His hands blindly reach for her to drag her up his body. His hand his firm on her chin and between the bliss on his face there’s an edge of that hardness she saw when he demanded she touch herself earlier. “Did you swallow it?” The question makes the corners of her lips turn up and she shakes her head. “Let me see.” Her mouth pops open, tongue out carefully. Then she closes her mouth and swallows, opening her mouth wide again to show him. He doesn’t look long before he moans, pulling her by the chin into a kiss. His hands are gentle now, pulling her onto his lap to straddle him. 
“Holy shit, where have you been all my life?” He’s laughing against her lips. 
Y/N’s giggling too, “Like you haven’t had any of that before.” She doesn’t mean it as an insult and he knows it. She just never expected to be able to surprise him in bed like this.
His hand is combing through her hair, holding her against his lips. The low laugh he lets out is secretive almost. “Y/N, it’s never been like that. I think I saw the light for a second.”
Y/N slaps his chest with a laugh now. “You’re so dramatic!”
“No, really. If we go any farther, I might lose it. You’re going to ruin everyone else for me more than you already have.”
“Do you want that? For me to ruin other people for you?” Y/N is careful to ask the question lightly, but she can see that he understands. Moving on after this will be harder if everything gets compared to what they’ve already done and what they might do next. She knows that’s how it will be for her. 
His hands are so soft against her waist as they rub up and down and the way he’s looking at her makes her want to cry. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” She asks. 
Jeonghan is sitting up now to be face to face with her. “Cry. I don’t like it, not like this.” He places a soft kiss on her lips. “And yes. You’ve already ruined everyone for me in so many other ways anyway. I’ll take whatever you give me.” 
Her hand grazes his cheek and his eyes flutter closed. “Why don’t you ruin everyone for me too? Make me remember it.”
Jeonghan is looking at her like he can see right through her. “You don’t know what you’re asking for. You don’t know how much I want this.” His voice his so raw that her heart is cracking a little. This is the closest they’ve come to speaking openly about the unspoken feelings and desires they might have gained for each other. He’s called this whole thing off but the way he’s looking at her right now is at such odds with that decision. 
“I can assure you I want it as much as you do, if not more,” Y/N promises. His grip on her waist is tight now, blunt nails digging into her skin. She leans in close, lips hovering over his. “Please.”
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Jeonghan responds to her immediately because the desperation in her tone matches how he feels exactly. His hand goes back to her throat and he pushes her by it, rolling her onto her back and shoving off his boxers with the other hand. Her legs fly around his waist as he gets on top of her and she holds onto his shoulders as he grips his cock to run it along her folds. He wants to wait, to slow down, to make it all last longer, but he’s on autopilot now, totally driven by how much he wants her. No, it’s really closer to a need now. He can’t imagine she wants this more like she said, though. It’s impossible.
His tip slides in and then he’s kissing her deeply, holding both of her hands above her head, threading their fingers together. He slowly pushes in and they give matching broken moans at the sensation. Her lips stop moving against his once he’s fully seated inside, then her head tilts back. He’s kissing her neck, nipping at it and leaving marks, letting her adjust. 
“Okay?” Jeonghan asks, coming back up to her lips. The kisses are so soft compared to what they were moments ago and he can feel Y/N melting. He’s so proud that he can have that kind of effect on her. That she places any kind of trust like this in him. 
“Yes. Please move.” 
He starts slow, an experimental drag almost completely out. Y/N starts to whimper in complaint but it turns into a cry as he slams back into her. He see stars at the way she’s squeezing around him, the warmth and wetness consuming him. He sets a fast pace. When he lets go of her hands, hers plant on his shoulders and his are everywhere. Her hair, her throat, her chest, and finally the back of her thighs as he pushes them up against her chest. The angle is maddening to him and her eyes are watering again when he looks down at her face. “Hannie, more.” 
“Tell me who makes you feel like this, baby.” There’s something so possessive about the demand and she must like it because a moan rips from her throat and she clenches on him. She’s getting close to the edge again and he can’t wait to get her there over and over. 
“You, Hannie.” He grips her hair, tugging her to meet his eyes. 
“Whose cunt is this? Who going to make you come like this?” They’re selfish questions but he needs to know. Needs to know that she’ll remember this and compare it to every other interaction she ever has. He knows he will for the rest of his life because he’ll never find anything like this again, in or out of the bedroom. Jealousy flows through him thinking about someone else in his position. He has to make her remember it. 
Her eyes are rolling back and he lands a soft slap on her cheek to get her to look at him again. She moans at the touch and he feels like he could come already. “Hannie.” Everything she says comes out as a moan or cry now. Tears are streaming down her face and he presses a sweet kiss to the cheek he’d just slapped, totally at odds with everything else he’s doing to her body right now.
“Already crying on my cock like a good girl. Now you just have to come all over it. Do it, baby.” His hand finds her clit, rubbing quickly. 
He thinks she stops breathing as she comes. Jeonghan’s praising her in her ear because he can see the intensity of it all, can feel it, and for the thousandth time tonight he can’t believe he’s being allowed to make her feel like this. He slows down his movements now, kissing her cheek and mumbling, “Good girl.” His hand sweeping up and down her body seems to make her relax so he keeps doing it. He presses a soft kiss to her lips. “Want more?” Y/N nods numbly. “Words, baby. I need you to tell me it’s okay or if you want to stop.” 
Tears are pouring out of her eyes again and she’s begging for real now. “More, please.”
Another sweet kiss to her lips. “Baby, I told you you don’t have to beg. Just tell me what you want and it’s yours.” 
“Don’t care what it is, just keep going.” 
Jeonghan moves fast, pulling out of her and getting to his knees. Before she can complain, he’s roughly flipping her over onto her hands and knees. His hand gently pushes her head down onto the mattress and she moans as he grips a handful of the fat of her ass. He lands a sharp spank and before she can even cry out, he’s rubbing the tip of his cock into her folds again. He slides in easily, groaning again. “Fuck, you feel like heaven.” He sits deep in her like this and the way she’s arching makes him think she likes this position, which is good because he has no idea how many times he’s imagined this exact sight. His imagination pales in comparison to reality. His hand slides from her ass to the middle of her back. The touch is soft and then suddenly it’s not. He yanks on the ends of her hair and pulls out of her, slamming back in. The cry she lets out echoes in the room.
His pace is brutal now and his hands are everywhere. At one point he even pulls her arms behind her back and holds them there while he gropes her breast. She comes for a fourth time like this, harder than before, and he thinks she must be made for him. He meant it - it’s never been like this. Nothing even comes close. Their bodies are becoming slick with sweat and he can see her arousal dripping down her inner thigh when he leans back. 
“I’m close, baby. Will you come with me? Please?” Jeonghan chokes out. He reaches down to her clit, rubbing fast, because he’s dangerously close to bursting. 
“Jeonghan!” She looks like she’s panicking at the intensity of it all and when she finally tips over the edge, she sobs. He fucks her through it, but the way she’s clenching on him and the sight of her tears has him tipping over the edge too. She lets out another sob as he fills her up, coming deep inside.
Her breathing is jagged and he recognizes the signs. She’s drifted pretty far, totally overwhelmed, totally unaware now. Jeonghan places his hands under her hips to help lower them to the bed, sliding out of her. He’s laying next to her, stroking her face, hair, and back soothingly when she really comes back to any sort of awareness. 
She looks as dazed as he feels. Sluggishly, she slides into his arms. They lay there for a long time just breathing. He knows she’s crying, can feel it drip on his neck where her face is buried. He doesn’t say anything because by now he is too, so he pulls the covers over them. They’ll deal with it tomorrow. 
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Over the next four days, Y/N and Jeonghan don’t leave each other's side for more than a few minutes at a time. Their friends all trickle back in but Jeonghan and Y/N are too busy trying to crawl into each other’s skin. What little they have to be around others, Jeonghan is pressed up against Y/N’s back or Y/N is in his lap. Their friends make jokes about turning down the PDA a notch. They don’t listen for now because they’ll have to eventually anyway. 
Speaking of PDA, simple touches escalate quickly now. Jeonghan’s hand lands on her thigh and she’s pulling him into the bedroom. Y/N’s fingers run through his hair and he’s folding into her, pushing her back onto the couch. They’ve christened nearly every room of their apartments in a matter of days and they’ve most certainly been caught a few times. Jeonghan doesn’t feel embarrassed, has never felt embarrassed about that sort of thing outside of the times that Y/N was the one to catch him with someone else before all this, but it’s surprised him over and over that Y/N seems to give even less of a shit. When her hand lands on his crotch at the dinner table surrounded by some of their friends, that becomes apparent. 
It’s New Years now and Y/N jokingly calls it their last hurrah. He laughs but he’s feeling so fucking raw about it and he’s sure she can hear it too. She doesn’t stop him when he pushes her into a corner at the party they’ve agreed to attend and smashes his lips onto hers. They’re already kissing when the ball drops and the crowd cheers. She drags him out by the hand not long after and as soon as they close the door to his apartment she’s on her knees, taking his cock into her mouth. He pays her back tenfold, first with his fingers, then his mouth, then his cock. It’s overwhelming how insatiable both of them seem to be and they don’t sleep that night. 
It’s never been like this with anyone, he’s never needed anyone the way he needs her. And it’s not just about the sex. He wants to glue himself to her so that he never has to be away from her. Somewhere between Christmas and now, he’s come to terms with the fact that he loves her - that he’s in love with her. There’s no other explanation for this suffocating feeling. He thinks he has been for a long time now and it’s crushing him, making his chest ache.
There are tears in both their eyes the next day as Y/N pulls out her little notebook and glitter pen. They’re in their booth for what might be the last time together. Jeonghan knows he can’t sit here again without her. They don’t even order anything besides a plate of fries because neither of them are very hungry. Her eyes level with his across the booth and though her eyes are so watery they're threatening to spill over, she gives him a smile. “How would you like to proceed?”
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xjulixred45x · 10 months ago
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I see a lot of Kusakabe talk lately. Can I please ask for General relationship HCs for our resident lazy sorcerer <3
FINNALLY SOME NEW CHARACTERS!!! I don't like Kusabake that much, but Def His memes makes me laugh so considerate it done. Thanks for the Request❤️
Atsuya Kusakabe General Dating Headcanons
Genre: Headcanons
Reader: neutral
Warnings: typical canon violence, some spoilers of the manga.
Okay, for starters, YOU CANT TELL ME THAT HIS S/O IS NOT ONE OF THE REASONS THIS MAN VALUES HIS LIVE SO MUCH!
We all know that Kusakabe, although he is quite strong, does not really want to risk dying and prefers tasks that do not endanger his life, such as evacuating civilians and facing minor curses.
partly because he appreciates his life...and partly because I don't think he wants to cause pain to the few people he loves (reader included).
He wants to LIVE HIS LIFE with his s/o, he doesn't want to die prematurely and leave them alone!
I firmly believe that if he had a partner they would probably be a civilian, because 1- then he wouldn't have to worry about them dying because of sorcery work and 2- he can finally have some normality and peace of mind.
TELL ME THIS MAN IS NOT LOOKING FOR TRANQUILITY WHEN HE IS THE TEACHER OF A GROUP OF SUPER POWERFUL CHILDREN. OF WHICH *TOUDO* HIMSELF IS A PART
I imagine him in part as a boyfriend-father, who, although he is usually quite serious, usually shows that he cares in other ways, such as asking if you have eaten, buying food if you haven't, going for a walk to clear your head if you feel overwhelmed. . that kind of things.
As I said before, he is someone who appreciates tranquility a lot compared to his rather hectic life, so I think he would meet his s/o somewhere where he often lives as a civilian, perhaps (similar to Nanami with the girl at the bread) from some place where he goes to eat after his missions.
You could say that seeing his s/o gives him a hit of dopamine.
THERE IS DEFINITELY NO WAY HE'LL LET HIS STUDENTS KNOW ABOUT HIS S/O. he wants to save himself from Miwa's constant teasing and questions.
although maybe after a while (and only to Miwa) he will show ONE (1) photo and brag a little about them.
There is also a possibility that he ends up talking a little about his s/o to Panda in Shibuya, just to calm down and not be so stressed, you could say that is the effect it has on him.
I can see him as a protective boyfriend, more than anything because just as he appreciates his life a lot, he appreciates his s/o's A LOT MORE, and will give him priority over that of others (he thinks it's appropriate, they are civilians after all).
There's not much chance that he'll end up running into his s/o during a mission, but that can either automatically lower his stress level considerably or raise it to unimaginable levels.
If it were a normal mission, it is most likely the first case, since there he can simply greet his s/o and have them go somewhere else for "safety issues" and be reassured that they are away from danger. even if it is a lesser grade curse.
Now, if his s/o were involved in a mission like SHIBUYA he's definitely losing his shit trying to protect them. and he is escorting them all the time with Panda to wherever it is safe and far from danger.
He grows green gray hair, as we say in my country.
It doesn't mean he's against his s/o going to see him at work! Quite the opposite, but he prefers that they go see him when he is a teacher.
I think he would especially like it if his s/o brings him food (whether made by them or bought) or something like that (more cigarettes/candy) and he is very grateful.
Although he doesn't like to share his love life with his students, he is DEFINITELY bragging to his workmates about how he DOES HAVE TIME for good things and that he doesn't regret anything >:)
He's like "that's what happens to you for not doing things the easy way, not like me, I even have an INCREDIBLE and very pretty partner😎" he's shameless.
I would say that his main language of affection would be compliments in a certain way, he knows what to say to get his way in situations where it is required, but with his partner that translates to what he knows what to say to cheer them up or make their day better. .
apart from the fact that he is much more attentive than one would think due to his vague nature.
He remembers his partner's main dislikes well, although he sometimes uses that against them to joke with them (for example, if they don't like bugs, he will chase them with a spider around the house) but he never takes it too far. It's just a little fun between the two.
Apart from that he knows very well when his partner really likes something or if he only says he likes it so as not to hurt his feelings, which is nice, but he prefers sincerity in those types of aspects.
very direct.
Let's say that just as he greatly appreciates his life and KNOWS that he could die at any moment, he doesn't want to waste time, so he is going to be as direct as possible with his s/o if what he wants is something lasting or something temporary, he will do it. which is very good for the relationship honestly.
I think his Achilles heel with the relationship would be PDA, I mean, he doesn't mind things like holding hands or kissing in public, but I don't think he does much more or at least with people around.
low key his s/o will be the one who initiates physical contact at the beginning.
The dates are usually either somewhere preferred by both (anywhere where salmon eyes don't work, please) or right at home watching ridiculous movies to disconnect a little from reality.
or even just be silent for a while with your s/o, at PEACE and let things flow in your head, this is what you do more than anything on a particularly bad day at work.
Sometimes he blurts out sudden thoughts about thoughts he's keeping from work to his partner, it's completely unintentional, but it helps him open up more honestly to his partner.
He's generally pretty open about almost everything, EXCEPT his job, so his s/o has to appreciate those kinds of moments of vulnerability.
As for issues of, for example, settling down, I think he wouldn't be against it at all.
His job already causes him enough stress, it is not unreasonable to think that one day he would like to retire and function alone as a teacher or some other common job (anything seems like baby play compared to cursing).
Along with that, I can see him in this case proposing to his s/o, wanting them to be in his life permanently and "officially" so to speak.
As for the children...I don't think he would want in the first place. He just doesn't see anyone he likes (he can barely stand his own students, my God), so he could be fine with an s/o who has that same opinion.
Did you see that Kusakabe has a sister named Usami? the one who was devastated by the death of her son so they gave her something similar to Panda.
I imagine that Kusakabe would take VERY much into account if his sister likes his s/o to continue the relationship, Usami is one of the few people he cares about and believes that it is appropriate to have her approval.
Can you imagine if Kusakabe had met his partner through his sister? That would be nice
Probably his s/o is also one of the few people with whom he confides secrets like about his sister's son, I don't think he reveals important things about work, but he definitely lets his s/o know that it is for the greater good and especially for their safety.
I saw on the wiki that apparently he likes fishing, it would probably be a hobby that he normally likes to do alone, but if his s/o shows interest, he will try to teach them the basics in a decent way and have them form their own opinion about it.
He secretly hopes that they like it, but no pressure.
Kusakabe wants them to share the hobby because they both like it after all, he doesn't see the point in it being just to spend time together if they don't enjoy it :/
Now, going to the elephant in the room, a s/o sorcerer or part of the academy.
It would be more useful in the aspect of seeing each other often, since they would constantly see if their s/o is a teacher in Kyoto as well.
They could even do joint classes to teach their students an ear of tricks (and that way he doesn't have to give it all alone). ironically the students would respect the s/o more than their normal sensei.
Even if the s/o was from Tokyo, it's not that there would be a serious problem in seeing each other, they send him on missions nearby often, so they could take advantage and see each other after finishing work or better yet, go on missions together.
The problem would be that his more protective side comes to light, which is not necessarily bad, but it can be somewhat annoying.
always puts the s/o behind or does the work before the s/o can do his part, especially if it is a mid-grade curse.
which can be irritating because HELLO, they are of the SAME RANK, they are supposed to be able to do the same things.
Kusakabe should learn to stop being so scared when his sorcerer s/o goes on a mission with him and let them do their job.
Even if we're honest, after that phase, they make a good combo, especially if your s/o encourages you to get out of your comfort zone and not be so lazy.
It would be like the dynamics of "no energy" and "a lot of energy" in short.
He finds it adorable that they believe in him so much, but at the same time he thinks they should be less naïve before the world of Jujustu swallows them alive.
He still liked the idea of settling down, but in this situation it will have to be his s/o who takes the first step. It's a feeling.
In general, if you are one of the few people this man cares about, rest assured that he will not take your affection or your company for granted. He will appreciate it as much as he can and APPRECIATE you as much as he can.
He just wants to live another day. hopefully with you.
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Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!
Thanks for the Request ❤️
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animeloverskylarmoon · 9 months ago
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Yumichika Ayasegawa (Bleach)- Oneshot
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You weren't certain how it happened.
Truly.
Ichigo warned you that he had some crazy friends. Usually you just pretended that they weren't there. With two jobs, you really didn't have the energy to be worrying about crazies in old fashioned robes.
That's why you tried your best to get rid of him. But he just kept coming back.
Like a parasite.
"If you'd like I can give you some tips. Your hair is a mess."
An irk mark appeared on your forehead at the few of many insults that this annoying reaper had directed at you.
"IF I'M SUCH A MESS YOU COULD JUST STOP COMING YOU CRAZY REAPER!!"
Screaming in the middle of the street at a man only you could see probably wasn't doing you any favors. You huff, storming off.
"I'm just trying to help."
He jumped down from his once elevated position, landing right beside you as he walked in step.
"Why are you here anyway? Aren't you reapers supposed to be guards or something? You're pretty casual for someone on a mission." You grumble.
"Things have quieted down since the war. Our head captain just wants to make sure it stays that way."
You nod.
The war.
It's crazy how casual they always speak about those things. While you could see spirits, your fighting ability wasn't anything to brag about. Surely not to be of any use in a war. A part of you felt it. When the war started. You hadn't seen Yumichika or Ikkaku for a while. When they finally popped up to freeload in your home, you acted pissed, but truthfully you were relieved. Because you knew lives were lost.
"Is it scary, fighting all the time?"
That question was presented a bit quietly and Yumichika glanced at you. He could see your hesitance to even propose the question. Sometimes he needed to remind himself that you weren't a fighter like them.
"War is war. Fear is just a reaction to the unknown. I'm not sure if there's a word I can use to truly describe it."
The very serious response was not what you expected.
"However beautiful beings like me don't have to worry about such things."
He then persisted to pose in which you just walked away.
"Hey wait up!!"
Yep, that's how a lot of your encounters went. As agitating as he was at times, you enjoyed his company. You also appreciated him checking in on you every now and then.
"Geez, I'm exhausted."
You dropped onto the couch, not even kicking off your shoes. Yumichika smiled.
"Did you overdo it today? Your wrinkles seem more visible than usual."
"Don't make me end you."
Yumichika laughed nervously at the threat, and you just sighed, lifting your hand as you stared at it.
"Things like beauty, it isn't made for people like me. Just the thought of all that cutesy stuff is exhausting."
Although you say that, you haven't completely banished the prospect of dressing up and going on dates. It was just hard. Most guys wanted a girl to dress up and act a certain way. You did like dressing up every once in a while, but you couldn't see yourself changing your entire wardrobe just to appeal to a guy. You liked baggy clothes and cool sneakers.
Yumichika's eyes are trained on your form.
"Is there a human that you're interested in that you would be willing to do that for?"
You fully expect him to be wearing some kind of mocking expression or follow that up with another poke at your attire, but when you move your hand, that's not what you read at all. Your cheeks tint red at how intensely he's looking at you. It's not often that he's stoic.
You jump upright, bashful.
"What the hell are you talking about! A-As if I would be!"
You don't know why you're getting so defensive. It's not like he accused you of anything. You rise, heading for the kitchen.
"I-I'm going to make food!!"
Marching off stiffly, Yumichika watches you with a small smile.
He'll admit that your meeting wasn't exactly under the best circumstances.
He'd been in Karakura to help up with the increase of hollow activity. 
Back when Aizen was still gathering his army. Ikkaku and Matsumoto had taken one section and he'd planned to cover the next.
"Yumichika!"
Ichigo's call pulled his focus and he was stunned to see Ichigo carrying a woman in his arms.
"She's hurt, I need you to get her back to Urahara-san."
Yumichika didn't need much more instruction. From the worried look, this was clearly someone Ichigo knew. He handed you over, but your hand gripped Ichigo's robes and they both froze.
"I-Ichigo.."
For a moment they both took notice of the fear in your eyes. Ichigo offered the best smile he could muster.
"I'll be fine."
You were hesitant, but you finally released him. He gave one last reassuring look before he disappeared. Yumichika didn't waste any time. He took off himself, glancing down to ensure you were still conscious. Your eyes seemed distant. Your body was covered in bruises. What he could assume was a hollow attack.
"Please..promise me that you'll look after Ichigo. H-He's all I have left.."
Your words were solemn, and Yumichika was the last one to make such a promise. But watching you so helpless, it did something to him.
"I have his back."
At the time, that seemed like the right thing.
It helped you.
When Yumichika got closer to you, it was mostly as a source of entertainment. You were around all the time it seemed and you always had the best reactions whenever he flaunted his beauty. The more he saw you, the more he felt protective. The frequent trips to Karakura were welcomed whenever they had a mission. He was able to do his job and see you. The longer he was around, the more he learned.
Like your relationship with Ichigo.
What he initially assumed as romantic love was just a brotherly bond you'd formed when he saved you from a river as a kid. 
A detail he felt comforted that you openly told him.
"How come you always drop by just to piss me off."
You looked angry, and Yumichika had to admit it was cute. He'd never tell you, but sometimes he just loved to jab to get a reaction.
"I was merely saying you may never get to my standard of beauty, but you're still exceptional in your own way."
"Why does that sound like a compliment and an insult all wrapped in one!!" You fire back.
Yumichika laughed from his position on the roof and you just folded your arms, turning your head in the opposite direction. Nights like this were nice to just sit and watch the stars.
Considering that Yumichika could literally fly, you knew such a view wasn't anything extraordinary to him. It was still nice that he decided to entertain you.
"If I'm so beneath your level then why waste your time."
It was just an angry little ramble, but Yumichika turned. He could tell that you weren't truly upset. But he realized then that you may not actually know how he sees you.
"If I really thought you weren't worth my time I wouldn't even look at you."
The statement makes you turn, and you swallow. Because he's wearing that expression again. Soft and a bit paralyzing in a fluffy sort of way.
"I've made it a rule of mine never to look upon ugly things. What I see before me is quite beautiful."
Your eyes widen at those words. The heat crawls up your cheeks before you can stop it.
"Y-You're just messing with me again!" You point at him accusingly.
He smiles, and it does something to you. When he moves closer, he takes hold of your hand, and it lowers slowly into your lap. 
You're in awe.
"Not so feisty anymore, are you?"
The confident smile on his face is disarming. Especially with the lack of space. You clench your hand into your lap.
"W-What are you doing Yumichika.."
It's almost a whisper. It's when his hand cups your cheek that you feel your heart hammer.
"I thought I was clear, I'm claiming something very beautiful."
His lips descend on your own and you clench your eyes shut. You can't believe you let someone like Yumichika mess with you. Much less kiss you. Although you can't deny that it feels really good. His lips feel so soft, and you've never realized just how good he smells. You feel his hand shift from your lap, sliding over your waist as he pulls you closer. Your blush darkens and he deepens the kiss. At this point you're just barely able to think, much less do much but reciprocate shyly. When his tongue brushes against our own, you pull away with a gasp, covering your lips.
Yumichika licks his own lips.
"W-What was that!"
"That was a kiss, would you like another?"
"N-No you sneaky pervert!!"
In all honesty, you're not sure your brain will be able to function properly if he kisses you again. Your protests are merely to save face. 
This is embarrassing to say the least.
You don't expect it when he picks you up. Letting out a soft squeak, you grip at his robes.
"What the heck are you doing!!"
"I already told you."
He says nothing more, just flash steps into the house.
"W-Wait I'm not prepared!! K-KYA!!!"
It looks like you never had anything to worry about.
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maoam · 2 years ago
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DISSECTING SAKURA - WHY IS SHE SO TERRIBLE?
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INTRO
I promised to write a post about Sakura’s character long time ago so here’s that now. If you want to read my Hinata post it’s here.
Sakura is a character that is very hated in the Naruto fandom. Many people acknowledge she’s one of the worst female characters in anime. And yet, she also has many dedicated stans that defend her character and insist she is simply misunderstood, that she’s actually a good shinobi and a person, or not as bad as people think. While there are many videos and essays about Sakura, my issue with them is that they often either praise Hinata who isn’t any better than Sakura or they do not acknowledge Sakura is supposed to be the way she is. She is intentionally written as an unlikeable person and she was never supposed to be inspiring or a positive character. I will try to explain this to you the best I can by dissecting her character. As usual, if you’re a fan of her character you might not want to see what’s next. This will be tagged under the anti tags so if you see it in the character tag that is not intentional.
SAKURA AS A SHINOBI
I will first focus on Sakura as a shinobi and her skills in fights since Naruto is a battle manga. Sakura is, as it's often acknowledged to the point of memes, pretty useless. A lot of her stans don’t understand why. She might get to punch once every 200 chapters or heal fodders but in the end she is featless. She is placed in many important situations where she does nothing to contribute or even gets in the way. This is not acceptable for a main character that has a lot of screentime. Naturally, this is something that annoys many people but it’s made even more annoying by the fact Sakura is constantly talking about how much stronger she has gotten and how she wants to be on par with Naruto and Sasuke.
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In the beginning, during the bell test, Sakura doesn't even attempt to get the bells from Kakashi and only ends up fainting. In the Land of Waves, because Sakura was able to climb the tree due to her chakra control, she became smug and overconfident and thought she doesn't need to train. Which is funny considering she does nothing except stand around during an actual fight while Naruto and Sasuke actually contribute to the fight with the main antagonists. She's tasked to protect Tazuna, yet she can't do that either, but Kakashi has to intervene and get injured. It’s also worth mentioning Kakashi pointed out that during the tree climbing Sakura was able to control her chakra better because she had little chakra to begin with. Thus Kishimoto establishes very early on Sakura as someone who brags and overrestimates her own skills.
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In the Chunin exams, Sakura hopes that Naruto and Sasuke aren’t foolish enough to cheat during the written exam, and she’s sure that she can answer the questions based on her knowledge. But what she doesn’t realize is that the real intention of the test is for the takers to use their observation and deductive skills to gather information and cheat. We find this out in the same chapter through Sasuke. Sasuke, unlike Sakura, realizes that the test makers want them to act like a shinobi. Sakura is book smart and a rote learner, but as we have seen in the Land of Waves and what we will see in the rest of the Chunin exams, being book smart won’t help her on the battlefield. Kishimoto wanted to show us that Sakura is just someone who brags and thinks she’s got everything under control, despite the fact she’s not the right kind of smart to be a shinobi, she doesn’t think like one.
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In the Forest of Death, we then see she isn’t able to actually put anything into practice and Naruto and Sasuke again do all the work, while Sakura does nothing except stand around, scream and cry. Sasuke even has to yell at her to stop merely standing around. Eventually though, when Naruto and Sasuke are knocked out after the encounter with Orochimaru, Sakura has no choice but to protect them from Orochimaru’s henchmen. But she of course fails. She sets traps that fail, and gets mocked for her amateuristic skills by her opponents. We see characters like Kiba are able to put up traps that actually work, but Sakura who is supposedly smart isn’t. Then Rock Lee arrives to her rescue. After he gets beaten up, Kin grabs Sakura by her hair and calls her out on her vanity and tells her she should have trained more, which is basically what Sasuke did at the beginning of the arc, when he told Sakura if she has time to flirt maybe she should use that time to learn a jutsu or two. In the chapter cover she is also seen brushing her hair in front of a mirror in the forest, so Kishimoto makes it pretty clear Sakura is someone who cares a lot about her looks even during a mission. Kishimoto uses the villains to point out Sakura’s flaws, since the main characters can’t do that considering she is one of the main characters. So we see Dosu point out Sakura’s lack of observation skills and talent, and Kin point out her vanity and boy chasing personality. Sakura then dramatically cuts her hair and gives a speech on how she wants to walk in front of Naruto and Sasuke and wants them to look at her back. Despite the little fight she puts up, she is easily beaten down and is saved by Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji, before Sasuke wakes up and beats up Orochimaru's henchmen, driving them away. Sakura acted like this was going to be her moment, yet it wasn't at all. She had five other characters, 4 of them supporting characters, all of whom showed much better ninja skills than her, come to her rescue.
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During Sakura and Ino's match, Sakura starts boasting how Ino is nowhere near her level. What happens is despite her bragging, she falls right into Ino's trap. Unlike Sakura, Ino actually used her wits and shinobi like strategy during the fight, using Sakura’s ego against her to successfully trap her. But because Naruto yelled Sakura's name, her inner Sakura somehow interrupted the fight and it ended in a tie. I think Ino should have won this fight but regardless it didn't make Sakura look good, just an overconfident brat who got lucky.
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The rest of Part 1 Sakura spends moping over Sasuke and getting one-paneled by Gaara in the Konoha crush arc where she again becomes a damsel in distress to no one’s surprise. Her uselessly holding a kunai has become a meme because she does it many times during the series. Despite being a liability to her team she never thinks about how to better her skills nor tries to train. After Sasuke leaves and Sakura fails to stop him, she goes to Naruto and begs him with tears in her eyes to bring Sasuke back. Considering how many support characters have contributed massively in Part 1, a main character like Sakura achieving nothing just puts it into perspective how useless she really is. She has been a damsel in every single arc. When Naruto fails to bring Sasuke back, Sakura decides to ask Tsunade to train her, and tells Naruto next time she will go with him to get Sasuke back. The thing is, she should have had the resolve to train and change herself already before Sasuke left. She should have realized she put her team constantly in jeopardy by being weak. She read all about what life of a shinobi entails yet she seemed to treat it as some playground where she can play damsel while everyone around her protects her. It’s only when her crush left and Naruto failed to bring him back that she bothers to make an effort.
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At the start of Part 2, Kakashi gives Naruto and Sakura yet another bell test, and Sakura shows some potential by showing off her chakra punch. But in the end, they manage to finally get the bells due to Naruto's plan. Some people act like Sakura is the smart one in team 7 yet she constantly fails to showcase this smartness of hers. Next, team 7 is assigned by Tsunade to rescue Kazekage Gaara. Sakura swears that this time, she will save both Naruto and Sasuke. Again, she sets up a high goal for herself, only to never achieve it. Sakura does however, mix up an antidote to heal Kankuro after he got attacked by Sasori. Next Chiyo and Sakura get ready for a fight with Sasori. Notice how this is the only fight where Sakura actually manages to not fail? It's because Chiyo is literally directing her moves, both verbally and physically. But I will give her credit for using the antidote to survive Sasori's poison, and taking the hit for Chiyo. Sasori was also apparently suicidal and didn’t avoid the last hit but I don’t dwell on that too much.
Now I need to mention something that is very important to note when it comes to Sakura’s character writing. Whenever Sakura does anything she’s complimented countless times by Kakashi, Chiyo, Sasori, and basically everyone she comes across. Kakashi starts to talk about how she might be able to surpass Tsunade, just because she punches the ground once in front of him. Chiyo hails her as a girl who can surpass Tsunade as well, before even seeing her fighting abilities. Hashirama thinks her power might be greater than Tsunade’s despite not even seeing what his granddaughter can do. And this goes on and on. This is Kishimoto intentionally raising up the audience's expectations, only to later intentionally bring them down. Superficial readers think she is smart and could possibly surpass Tsunade because other characters say so, but people who actually read the manga and pay attention can see that Sakura never lives up to the expectations placed on her.
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Right after this arc, Sakura goes back to being useless and not contributing much especially considering the screentime she gets. Despite being able to avoid Sasori’s attacks with the help of Chiyo, in the Tenchi Bridge arc she gets first knocked out by Kabuto's flying butt because she's not watching where she's going, and needs to be saved by Yamato. Then she doesn’t let Yamato do his job and gets knocked out by Naruto's 4-tailed form, and needs to be saved by Yamato and healed by Kabuto. When they finally meet Sasuke she charges at him with no apparent strategy and needs to be saved by Yamato again, who gets injured in the process.
So after the entire part 1 of being useless, and 15 chapters of not being useless, Sakura needs to be saved multiple times by Yamato while contributing nothing. To people who paid more attention when reading the manga, this arc made them realize Sakura was never gonna change and this is how her character would always going to be. But others were still starstruck by the previous arc, and would only realize it later.
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In the Akatsuki Suppression arc she pretty much does nothing worth mentioning. She is tasked to go help Shikamaru but the latter has already taken care of Hidan by himself. In the Itachi Pursuit arc she doesn’t do anything either, but only follows the dogs tracking Sasuke’s scent. In the Pain arc a lot of characters contribute in the fight against Pain, even Konohamaru who is just a kid manages to defeat one of the paths of Pain, while Sakura is again shown crying and screaming for Naruto. What was that about saving Naruto and Sasuke? If she’s so strong as she acts like she is she could have at least tried to buy some time for Naruto instead of crying like a total whimp.
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There’s also a constant pattern of Sakura trying to demonstrate her "powers" or "strategy" and failing. This happened again in the start of the Five kage Summit arc when she tried to fight with the Kumo warriors, got immediately facekicked to the ground and had to be rescued by Naruto yet again. And this is not even the worst. In the same arc she attempts to take down Sasuke by herself, drugging her teammates so they can’t help her, and ends up failing when Sasuke figures out what she’s trying to do and she needs to be saved first by Kakashi and then by Naruto. As always, she aims too high and falls flat on her face. She ends the arc moping how she can’t do anything except to trust Naruto. Of course, Kishimoto doesn’t forgot to mention that Sasuke is resistant to poison, so Sakura’s attempt of killing him whether she succeeded stabbing him or not would have been futile either way. Again, she is failing to come even close to her own goals she set for herself. She is once again a liability that needs saving. And so the audience is frustrated and annoyed with her character. They are thinking, why is this girl who is constantly bragging about her skills constantly making a fool out of herself, crying pathetically and needing to be rescued? Well, that would be because she is supposed to be a person who is completely misguided about her own skills.
In the war arc, Sakura isn’t any better. The war arc only amplifies what we already have seen and know. That Kishimoto uses subversion to show Sakura’s character as overall irrelevant, and to show she’s all talk. In part 1, Sakura is said to be smart and she boasts about her skills yet she can’t do anything in an actual fight, but has to be saved by multiple characters, including Naruto, whom she considered inferior to herself. This of course made people annoyed with her character. When part 2 started, other characters were again commenting on her potential and how she had supposedly grown. So many people got hopeful that she had actually grown a lot and changed. And yet, as I have pointed out, she tried to show off many times and failed miserably. Which made people even more frustrated with her. Because they had gotten their hopes up. The Five Kage Summit arc was definitely the ultimate breaking point. After Sakura’s ridiculous attempt to manipulate Naruto, her drugging her teammates while leaving them defenseless on the ground and her trying to take down Sasuke and failing, she was certified as the fandom’s laughing stock. But some of her stans still remained, and thought she would redeem herself. Somehow.
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Then comes the 4th shinobi war. Sakura has mostly been in the background healing people, but when Sasuke shows up, she is suddenly motivated to show off for real. She even gets pissed when Naruto is about to go with Sasuke and suggests to her that she could take a break. Sakura insists she is also part of team 7 and that she surely can keep up with the two of them. We have a panel hyping up Team 7. Then Sakura gets a moment to make a big punch after which she boasts and thinks she’s better than Tsunade, insulting the latter in the process. But she’s not paying attention to her surroundings and needs to be saved by the boys, after which she starts to boast how she will steal the Hokage seat from Naruto and how now they will all fight together with their backs to each other. She then reaffirms herself that she has finally caught up to Naruto and Sasuke. This level of arrogance needs to be backed up, otherwise the audience will get annoyed. And it did annoy a big portion of the fandom, considering they had seen for the past 600 chapters or so Sakura talking about how she wants to be on par with Naruto and Sasuke, how she won’t be a liability anymore and it all leading to nothing except disappointment after disappointment. Sakura’s confidence and ego are greatly disproportionate for someone of her capabilities, which a big part of the audience notices, whether consciously or subconsciously. And this is of course intentional.
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She is left on the sidelines again when Naruto and Sasuke are too busy being ”the main act” and fighting perfectly in sync. Sakura has to ask Hinata what is even happening with the two of them. Sakura keeps healing people, but eventually Naruto’s chakra starts to help her with the healing.
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Then we get to one of the most infamous moments with Sakura, that resembles another infamous moment in the Five kage summit arc, when she tried to take down Sasuke with a poisoned kunai. In this moment Obito is asking Sakura to stab his rinnegan eye with a kunai. In both moments, she can’t come up with a resolve to use her kunai but just trembles centimeters away from her target. Taking her time shaking she then gets attacked by her opponent, and ends up being saved. In both cases, she wastes her chance because she’s a total whimp who has no resolve to do what she pretends she can do. And thus, the audience is annoyed once again. And the people who always knew what she was like make fun of her.
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But Kishimoto won’t stop there. In the very same chapter, when Sakura is trying to heal Kakashi, Naruto takes over and not only heals him but also gives him a brand new eye, something Sakura of course isn’t able to do. Healing was the only thing she could do and even that was taken from her! So much for her being a relevant member of Team 7 who is on par with Naruto and Sasuke.
Kakashi then starts reminiscing about Team 7, and it ends with him reminding the three about his first lesson, which was team work being the key to success. So what happens?
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Sakura begans to once again nurse her own insecurities and tries to show off to satisfy her own ego by charging at Madara and telling the boys to follow her. She has no idea of Madara’s strengths and weaknesses and what would you know, her punch is stopped and she gets stabbed in the chest and is once again rescued by Naruto. And what does she do? Mopes that Sasuke doesn’t pay attention to her nor seems to care. She cares more about showing off to Sasuke than defeating Madara, even when this is about a threat to the whole world. What a great shinobi. It’s a callback to part 1 when she moped over the fact Sasuke didn’t care about her climbing the tree. Just like with her shaking with the kunai, it’s just another moment that shows she never truly changes. Not in ways that matter.
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And then we see Naruto and Sasuke actually fight Madara, and Sakura literally just stands there in awe of them. She’s shook by Madara’s power which she obviously had no clue about. Of course Sakura still tries to go after the boys but Kakashi stops her and says it’s pointless to do so unless she has a plan. And she stops, and stares at Naruto and Sasuke’s backs as they disappear. Hah. She once again, has failed to achieve the goal she sets for herself. Kishimoto hyped up team 7 yet constantly showed Sakura failing and being left behind, despite how much she claimed she could keep up with the two of them. The way Kishimoto writes her, by making Sakura herself or others hype her, and then showing she’s actually lame is very consistent and relentless.
Taking into consideration that she’s a main character, and all the times that she’s promised major improvement, what we received was just pathetic. When you add it to the fact that she’s a member of such an over-achieving team, it makes her look pitiful in comparison. But it’s supposed to be. Don’t even think this is unintentional from Kishimoto. Sakura was supposed to be someone who never changes.
SAKURA’S PERSONALITY AND HER RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS
Now a little more on Sakura’s personality and the way she interacts with others which is definitely one of the reasons why many people hate her.
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In the beginning, she is introduced as a shallow girl who is focused on her looks and getting the attention of the popular boy in the class, rather than being a good shinobi. She gets called out on her vanity by not only Sasuke but also by her enemies. She is pretty quick to give up on the bell test which annoys Sasuke. One wonders why is she even a shinobi when her resolve is so weak. She beats and berates Naruto and is only able to treat him better by mimicking Sasuke. Despite Kakashi’s comments on all of them maturing Sakura hasn’t changed at all at the start of the Chunin exam arc but she keeps asking Sasuke on dates instead of training and also squeals for him like a fangirl. She mopes that she’s not good enough for the Chunin exam and only gets motivated when Sasuke compliments her. This type of shallow and weak characterization made many people instantly dislike her.
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In the chunin exams we also find out she broke her friendship with Ino after she found out Ino liked Sasuke as well. This is something that gave more background to her character but at the same time made people dislike her even more, since Ino is someone who reached out to Sakura and helped her build her self-esteem yet Sakura simply dumped her and started a catty rivalry over Sasuke. In Part 2, they only interact once, and during that moment Sakura wants Sai to call Ino ugly. You can’t really call it a beautiful friendship when Sakura is constantly shown as catty and the only person who does anything for the other is Ino. It’s Ino who reaches out to Sakura. It’s Ino who comes to her rescue in the Forest of Death. It’s Ino who compliments her after their match. What has Sakura done for Ino other than wanting her to be called ugly and teaching her kid to keep Ino away from Sasuke?
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During Sakura and Ino’s match, Kakashi says Sakura isn’t the type to brag and bully others, even when we have seen her do both constantly. Already in the Land of Waves she bragged how she doesn’t need to train despite not being able to do anything in a fight. She also constantly berates Naruto and acts superior to him, aside from punching him all the time over nothing. Sakura having a bloated sense of superiority and tendency to brag about her skills is a consistent character trait of hers. But she never manages to truly back up her arrogant attitude but comes off as weak and overall irrelevant, which is yet another thing that makes her an unlikeable character in the eyes of the audience. In the war she also insults Tsunade, the one who taught her, while boasting how she is better than her like she’s some badass when she is far from it. When has she created her own jutsu or made anything revolutionary? During the same chapter she also brags how she’s gonna steal the Hokage seat from Naruto. Yes Naruto, the guy who keeps saving her useless ass all the time.
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Speaking of Kakashi, he is a character that Kishimoto used in his writing as someone who treats Sakura with kid gloves and coddles her. This is one reason why some people defend her character, and why some people ship the two of them. If you’re a Sakura stan, it must feel validating when some character constantly defends your fave’s stupid behavior. But Kakashi is someone who not only admits to not understand Sasuke, but also someone who clearly doesn’t understand Sakura, as we see from the earlier image how Sakura’s behavior contradicts with Kakashi’s claims since the beginning. Basically, if you need to know how Sakura really is like, just flip what Kakashi says about her and you’ll know. Since Sakura is part of the main team, Kishimoto needed some character to defend her behavior so she wouldn’t be confronted about it too much. But smart readers aren’t fooled. It’s also worth noting that Kakashi tells Sasuke Sakura still loves him despite the fact Sasuke tried to kill her, while conveniently omitting the fact Sakura went there to kill Sasuke herself. This makes Kakashi look hypocritical but Kishimoto needed some character to do this because of Boruto, and it’s not like he was gonna use Naruto, the one he himself called Sasuke’s ally.
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Then we have Sakura’s hypocritical behavior, that Kishimoto also consistently portrayed. During Sakura and Ino’s match, Sakura says Ino is a girl who is focused only on her looks and that she wouldn’t want to be on the same level with her, despite the fact Sakura herself was shown brushing her hair in the Forest of Death and getting dragged for her vanity. She also got upset and hit Naruto when he tried to pee in front of her, saying she’s a lady, yet thought to herself how she would like to see Sasuke pee in front of her. When trying to plead to Sasuke to not go, Sakura says revenge won’t bring anyone happiness, but when it doesn’t work she flips completely on what she said and asks Sasuke to take her with him so she can help him. Even if she acts like she cares about Sasuke’s well-being, what she really cares about are her own feelings. Sasuke unsurprisingly finds this annoying as do many readers. Sakura makes fun of Naruto and insults him, yet gets enraged when Sai calls her names and she proceeds to hit both him and Naruto. She also gets mad at Konohamaru and Naruto for their sexy no jutsus, yet when Konohamaru showed her hot boys naked, one of them being Sasuke, she went all gaga over it.
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Sakura is also introduced as a bully who beats Naruto up and mocks him in front of Sasuke who then proceeds to call her out on her terrible behavior. In this chapter, Kishimoto made Sakura call Naruto ”annoying” and then made Sasuke throw her own insult back at her when Sakura mocked Naruto, by calling her annoying. Something that is worth noting is that while Sakura also reacted to Lee badly at first, after he saved her she didn’t do anything bad to him anymore. Yet while she later realizes she was wrong about Naruto’s resolve, and that he cheers for her when she needs it, and that he saved her countless times, she keeps beating him up over nothing and berating him. She still keeps calling him stupid and acting like she knows better. This is why whenever she cries for him, it’s hard to feel any liking to her, because she comes off as more like a poser who will surely soon bash his head in if he dares to behave like himself, or drop him for the sake of Sasuke. Her treatment of Naruto is unreasonably bad at times, but it’s easily explained. In the beginning we find out Sakura dislikes Naruto because she thinks he comes between her and Sasuke. And we see many instances where this notion is amplified by the text. But Sakura is too delusional to understand the reason there is distance between her and Sasuke is simply because Sasuke isn’t interested in her, she’s too shallow and juvenile for him to pay attention to.
Her fake confessing to Naruto and trying to manipulate him made a lot of people lose all respect for her. She also showed she knew so little of Naruto she accidentally managed to tap into all of his insecurities in her confession. She also somehow believed Naruto was really chasing Sasuke for her sake and that he would give up if she offered herself to him.
Her second confession to Sasuke is also very telling of her jealousy of Naruto and Sasuke’s bond. She yells how she can’t exchange blows with Sasuke, how she can’t get close to him, how the only thing she can do is cry and beg. Considering how Naruto is the one who is about to exhange blows with Sasuke yet again, and how Sasuke after their fight talks about how Naruto kept coming closer to him, Sakura is clearly thinking of Naruto when she is having this meltdown. Sakura was shown to be jealous of Naruto’s improvement and skills in Part 1, but she is also jealous of Sasuke’s care and love for Naruto, which she wants for herself and thinks she is entitled to. Even at the start, Kishimoto said Sakura thinks Naruto stole Sasuke’s first kiss which she thought belonged to her. It’s no different at the end of the series. Her outburst is her fighting for what she thinks is rightfully hers, Sasuke, despite the fact he has given no indication that he loves her. But this makes sense. Afterall, we see Sarada come between Ino and Sasuke while Sakura laughs nervously in the background. Despite everything Ino has done for Sakura’s sake, she still sees her as a threat, to the point her own kid is doing the dirty work for her.
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Let’s talk more about Sakura’s relationship, or lack there of, with Sasuke. We know Sakura was portrayed like any other fangirl of Sasuke in the beginning, who liked his looks and how cool he was. She never tried to approach Sasuke as a friend but only kept asking him on dates despite his blatant rejections. She never says why she loves him, or even likes him. According to herself Sasuke never says anything to her. Her first confession showed how little she understood Sasuke. She was the girl with everything, with family, while Sasuke and Naruto had nothing. Yet she had the nerve to say if Sasuke left she would be just as lonely as he was. She’s comparing the massacre of Sasuke’s family to a boy she never talks to leaving her, while disrespecting her own parents in the process. How juvenile that must have sounded like to someone like Sasuke. In Part 1 Sasuke occassionally protects Sakura because she’s too weak to protect herself, and in part 2 Sakura probably wanted to entertain the thought Sasuke would still have this consideration for her. But in Part 2 Sasuke treats Sakura like a fodder ninja. She doesn’t manage to get a proper reaction out of Sasuke who focuses on Naruto everytime he meets up with his former team. Sasuke also leaves Sakura to die couple times while choosing to save Naruto instead. Despite all this, Sakura still thought she’s entitled to Sasuke, and in her second confession she started to yet again scream how much she loves Sasuke and how much she hurts due to it. In both of her confessions she is guilt tripping Sasuke and trying to make him pity her. In both of her confessions she makes everything about herself. She admits to herself she can’t do anything for Sasuke, yet she tries to win him over by pity. But she annoys Sasuke once again, and he puts her in a murder genjutsu. Sasuke then says they have no reason to love each other. And he’s right. What does Sakura know about Sasuke? Clearly nothing, considering she said the worst things she could have said during both of her confessions. She heard Sasuke talk about wanting change, yet she started to scream how if Sasuke stays with her, things can go back to how they were. It’s like the most basic things she doesn’t understand. She’s just an overemotional child who has nothing of worth to say. Kakashi who coddles her tries to talk to Sasuke on her behalf as well, insisting Sakura suffers for loving him. Sasuke then thinks of his family and says perhaps those are ties to a failed past. As in Sakura literally lives in the past. And she does. Despite the fact everything has changed, she thinks about the moment when Sasuke thanked her, and ignores him calling her annoying for her ignorant comments, or the fact someone who wants change obviously doesn’t want to go back to the way things were. This brutal rejection though still won’t slow Sakura down, but after Sasuke is leaving to his atonement trip Sakura blushes like a school girl and asks to come with him. After him mocking her and putting her in a genjutsu, this is what she does.
And Kishimoto still won’t stop there. After all of Sakura’s boasting that ended in failure, after the brutal genjutsu and her being made mostly irrelevant, we see her destroy her own house because her kid asked about her marriage with Sasuke and she got insecure. I have to ask how do some people not realize Kishimoto despises Sakura and writes her as a terrible person? She is a bad daughter who doesn’t understand how lucky she is but is ready to ditch her parents for an indifferent boy’s sake. She is a bad student who disrespects Tsunade for no reason. She is a bad friend who treats Ino and Naruto badly out of insecurity. She is a bad person who treats the target of her crush like an object instead of a person. She is a bad shinobi as well who is most of the time a liability. And she is a bad mother as well. When she’s insisting to Sarada that Sasuke cares about them, she’s sweating and looking nervous, she’s clearly not confident in what she says. Kishimoto also drops two implications that Sasuke never kissed Sakura. Because that is apparently important for us to know. Sakura then tries to insist a forehead poke is better than a kiss. Yet when Sasuke is leaving, she is waiting for a kiss and not a poke. And she is rejected, and looks like a wet rag just like everytime Sasuke rejected her before ever since she was a kid. It’s hard to think of a female character that is more pathetic than her.
And yet, we have SS insisting Sasuke surely knew Sakura could take care of herself, that’s why he left her to die and saved Naruto instead, who didn’t need saving. Surely Sasuke thinks about Sakura as an individual and not just a member of team 7. Despite the fact we have never seen Sasuke think about Sakura outside of team 7 context nor say anything about what he likes and admires about Sakura. Surely Sakura is the most important person to Sasuke, that’s why Kishi wrote Sasuke say to Hagoromo, to Naruto and to himself that Naruto is the only one he still cares about. That’s why Kishimoto wrote Sasuke say Naruto is the only one who never gave up on him. That’s why he wrote Sasuke say Naruto alone saved him. Despite the fact Sakura wanted to be part of saving Sasuke with Naruto, Kishimoto would never let her. Because he doesn’t like her, or SS.
As a final note, a lot of the manga revolved around the importance of family and bonds, yet Sakura, the girl who had parents unlike the rest of her team, is shown to disrespect them everytime she brings them up. And she’s never redeemed on this. This is also intentional from Kishimoto, of course. Sakura is too selfish, too ungrateful and shallow to understand what she has. She’d rather chase a guy who keeps rejecting her like he’s some trophy she owns, all the while trivializing his pain over the loss of his family, by acting like she understands. And she’s ready to throw away her parents, her friends, and her dignity for the sake of this guy who was never interested in her. What’s worst is she had many opportunities to change and mature, yet she choose not to. And thus she remained the same self centred, superficial person she always was.
Actually this is the final note: @sneezemonster15 is a co-creator of this post. She has also talked about Sakura on her blog, for example that war arc part here. Another example is here (but you can just generally go through her anti-sakura tag). But I wanted all this on one big text since certain people are very stubborn about us “picking” supposedly minor things to bash Sakura for when this is throughout the whole manga. And since tumblr doesn’t let her add more than 10 images to a post for some reason I decided to write this down.
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lostinforestbound · 7 months ago
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Could you do how you think Cal or Lia would be in a relationship?
I love Rolan, but the other siblings deserve some love 💖
YESSS I've been waiting for someone to ask this! I have so many thoughts on this alone!! Thank you for asking, now I can ramble about the siblings more!
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Cal
I swear to god he is literally the sweetest person you'll ever date. He so loving, doting, patient, and just a walking green flag. He's a bit shy to even hold your hand for the first time, and he wear his heart on his sleeve, but he is devoted to his partner.
His main love language is definitely Acts of Service. Does his partner need help with a bag? He's grabs it immediately. Do they need something from the market? He's already out the door. Have they idly looked at an item they need? He buys it within the hour.
As he, Lia, and Rolan's mother was a seamstress (a headcanon I mentioned in the past), he would also patch up his partner's clothes if they need it. He takes care of it with such skill his partner can't even tell where that tear, cut, or hole was anymore.
One of my man headcanons with Cal is out of the three siblings, he is the cook of the family. He will absolutely cook for his partner, and he will try to create anything they ask for, or bake a sweet they've been craving.
I also have this idea that Cal would bake he and his partner's wedding cake for their special day! Not completely by himself of course, he's the groom for the gods sake! Rolan is also a decent baker, so he will insist when the time comes.
No matter how far he's in a relationship with his partner, he still becomes a flustered mess when they do something romantic with him. It could be only three months in or five years, but he will still blush if his partner gives him flowers.
That brings us to the love language he prefers on the receiving end: Gift Giving! All love languages his partner may or may not have he loves, but gift giving is something that catches him off guard every time!
Some gifts he would enjoy is flowers, a sweet, some new clothes, or anything his partner decides to give! "I saw this and I thought about you" kind of gifts make his heart beat for sure! He loves every single one they give and sometimes has to fight tears if he's having a particularly tough day.
At the very beginning of the relationship, he's definitely on the more shy side of things as I mentioned briefly earlier! Holding hands already gets him flustered, and the first kiss might be a little awkward, but once he's comfortable it's absolute heaven.
Speaking of being comfortable, once a relationship is established, he ends up being very playful and loves to tease! Tickling, stealing food off of their plate, suddenly biting them, etc.
He is such a wonderful listener. If his partner wants to vent for a little while without necessarily wanting advice, he is the perfect person for it. He'll listen, ask questions if allowed, comfort, and be a grounding presence.
At the same time, give him room to also talk! Let him vent if he needs it. He's been the listener all his life, playing peacekeeper to both of his very headstrong siblings. He'll never appreciate anything more than a partner who gives him a chance to speak.
If cuddling was a person, it would absolutely be Cal. He tends to be the big spoon during cuddles, and his body is usually pressed against his partner's pretty closely.
Cal talks about his partner very often, to the point that it seems like he's bragging about them (he totally is and is not ashamed one bit). It's obvious he's so, so in love just by the way he speaks about them, and it warms Rolan and Lia's hearts.
Lia
Lia is very headstrong, so she is most likely the one who makes the first move. She doesn't do a grand display or anything, but on the first date, she's definitely the one who brings a small bouquet of flowers!
She knows plenty of survival and plants in general, so she absolutely would use flowers language. I would say she brings White Camellia's, which if I remember correctly mean "You're Adorable".
Gods forbid if anyone tries to hurt her partner, it would be absolute hell on Toril. She is not above getting into a fist fight with people who try to talk shit about them, and always wins no matter how tough the person may be. She'll tone it down if her partner doesn't appreciate it, but she will protect them in any way she can.
Her love language is Words of Affirmation! She compliments her partner all the time, and plays up any achievement they may have. She is their personal cheerleader for everything they do, even if it's something relatively small, she doesn't care what it is!
"That is amazing love! Everyone, look at this, aren't they just the coolest person ever? Can your partner do this Rolan? No? Didn't think so. They are just the best!"
In terms of receiving, the love language she prefers is Quality Time! She loves spending time with her partner, so she plans dates pretty often so she can have that time without anything getting in the way. She doesn't mind planning them, but if her partner plans one to surprise her, she'll be over the moon with both love and excitement.
Some times the quality time could be as simple as them solving a puzzle together, watching her do some crafting, helping take care of the many plants she would own, watching her train with her bow or crossbow. Even if they don't speak, she appreciates every single minute.
Lia loves surprises, the good ones! A surprise gift? A surprise date? A surprise back massage? She loves them all. (I keep thinking about how the best surprise, one that she'll never forget, is her partner proposing to her. She'll sob so hard but would be so incredibly happy)
Just like Cal, she loves to brag about her partner. Anything they accomplished, Rolan and Cal are the first people to hear about it, the next people most likely her friends, but she even brags to strangers about them. She'll even do it with her partner right there, no matter how flustered they may get about the whole thing.
She's a biter. Not even in a sexual way! I believe she gets some form of cuteness aggression with her partner and will bite them out of nowhere, playfully of course.
Speaking of playful, she loves to play fight! Pillow fights are the go-to since food fights can get messy. She's got a strong art, so she has to be careful not to slam the pillow too hard hahaha! Although she does genuinely enjoy them, the main reason she play fights is to hear her partner laugh. She loves their laugh and will do anything to listen to it!
She would take her partner out around Baldur's gate for long walks to feed the stray cats! She loves animals, and when she and her partner at one point move in with each other, she will beg to get a cat or two.
In private moments, she tends to get a little sappy when she's emotional or having a tough day. She's aware how headstrong she can be, so she sometimes wants to reassure her partner of her love, even when she doesn't have to. "You know I love you very much, right?"
Lia can be very sweet in those private moments too! Lacing her fingers through her partner's, staring into their eyes with a tenderness she barely reveals, and cuddles pretty close. Only her partner can see her like that, and they wouldn't have it any other way.
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pjshermann · 9 months ago
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Why does Lucien's daughter hate Jude? When they meet, I think it is at the hospital, she says something like "Look who it is, Daddy's pet" and Jude is embarrassed. The other daughter tells her off and is friendly toward Jude. Did Lucien over praise Jude? Brag of him during family dinners because Lucien was Jude’s workplace law mentor/boss ? Jude is, of course, disabled and did this make Lucien over protective? Lucien's narky daughter has attended rehab and isn't a lawyer like her sister, so perhaps she sees Jude as some kind of family interloper, a cuckoo, the 'son' her dad wanted (and Harold feels a ping of jealousy when Lucien visits Jude in Greene Street after Caleb's attack). Using the word 'pet' too in a negative way feels like she is mocking Jude and giving him a low status. Just thinking of this brief scene.
I was very confused by this passage as well, especially since it just felt like it came out of nowhere. But I think you’ve answered your own question already haha there are certainly two scenarios for why Portia hated Jude in this scene
We all know Lucien and Jude had a very close relationship that went beyond just a simple boss-employee or mentor-employee bond.
Lucien was always the one to tell Jude how proud he was or how significant his case winnings were. He was the one who recognized Jude’s extraordinary abilities and recruited him to Rosen Pritchard. He was always telling Jude to take care of himself, to go eat or sleep after a long day of work. Lucien came to visit Jude after Caleb nearly killed him, and Lucien often visited him in the hospital after his suicide attempt. He called multiple times just to talk to him, just to chat. He cared for Jude’s health a lot, but he never treated Jude like a child or as someone to be babied. He recognized Jude’s want to prove himself capable and to be treated as an adult and respected that as much as he could.
But even as much as he respected Jude’s independence, he still took on a very parental role towards him. Before Jude begins dating Caleb, he’s one of the people who pester him about being single. He even says to Jude “I just think that I’d like to see you settled down with someone.” which is very similar to Harold’s own words of “We’d like to see you with someone.” Now that’s sort of abnormal for a boss to care about, isn’t it? But Lucien and Jude were close, and Lucien saw Jude as a responsibility of his, possibly even saw him as a son. Lucien’s admiration and care for Jude was so obvious that Harold even noticed and felt a little jealous that someone else had taken on such a parental role towards Jude.
So yes, one possible reason for her attitude towards him is Portia is jealous of Jude, or jealous of her father’s relationship with Jude/how much her father admired him. She could even see Jude as being an intruder of sorts, poking in on what is meant to be a family affair when he isn’t family.
But I also think that perhaps Portia was just feeling upset that day. After all, her father is in the hospital after suffering a debilitating stroke. Not to mention her own life doesn’t seem to be going well, seeing as she’s constantly going in and out of rehab. Jude mentions that he’s met Lucien’s daughters before, and even the younger one obviously recognized him enough to call him by name and express her condolences for Willem. He is surprised when Portia looks at him with hatred, which could possibly indicate that she’s never held animosity towards him before, at least not outwardly. She might’ve just been snappy that day and found a target to take her anger out on. Maybe her words were what she actually feels towards Jude, maybe she just wanted to be snarky. We just don’t know enough about her character to make a certain conclusion.
This ask reminds me of how I was thinking just the other day about how much I love the background characters of A Little Life, the ones who show up for just a split second or so. Shout out to Felix i love u and your punk rock band ! Shout out to Judge Sullivan for being a fat fuck !
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single-malt-scotch · 2 years ago
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Bdubs' typing style
saw a post that i felt did Not describe bdubs' typing habits correctly at all so i needed to make a post about it.
OLD typing style (like 2011 early years) bdubs kinda sucked at typing and grammar lol. He was a slow typer and spelled stuff wrong a lot (mostly big words. he would often voice how he didnt know how to spell sometimes as he did it. and then he'd spell it wrong lol). would type abbreviations too like bbl, brb, lol, np, etc. Sometimes he would type ones like "lol" in all caps. He would also shorten some words/spell them an alternate way like "gunna" instead of "gonna" or "lil" instead of "little"
He didn't really use emotes too much other than a basic :) or ;) usually. you could maybe throw in a :P or :D if you wanted but i mostly see the former.
He would not use other punctuation like apostrophes much if at all, sometimes use commas where needed, and not capitalize his sentences. would use periods if typing more than one sentence in the same message, and using question marks where needed, and sometimes exclamation marks if he felt the need (sometimes more than one if hes "mad"). he'd even use "..." in his sentences (usually without a space between words).
examples from mindcrack
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NEW typing style- Bdubs is technically better at typing (lol). One of the issues with new videos though in order to find chat messages is that people often cut out any kind of chatting in edited videos. But i will describe what i can based off what we do see- (its not much different tbh)
A bit faster of a typer now but if you watch him actually type in videos/streams, you'll see him get stuck sometimes as he tries to figure out his sentences. but he does spell things correctly now for the most part.
Interestingly I would sometimes see in old videos where id see him typing some sentences in a more ~proper~ manner. ex one being "i look forward to seeing such things as these" at guude when he said he was recording something. In hermitcraft charity stream last year he whispered to etho "of course! with our prefect prowess" (screenshot below). which is not at all his *usual* way of typing, its more exaggerated on purpose.
this is funny to me that i have noted it so long ago, and then we have a guy who seems very into settings that would lend that kind of speech (all his bwb kingdoms, the king arc with ren where its VERY apparently used). that said he doesnt do this much- dont go overboard on this one! i feel its mainly when bragging about himself, or a few times where he thinks it would be amusing- he can be pretty sarcastic sometimes (outside of the king arc roleplaying)
He still doesn't use emotes much (i cant think of many new videos where he does, but i dont have as much reference in these new videos. i would play it safe and stick to the simple ones mentioned above. While he still doesn't punctuate his sentences as much and still doesn't capitalize, I feel like he types a bit more how he talks? using exclamations more to finish his sentences, sometimes a "?!", maybe more than one exclamation even- and usually when sounding "mad" in chat he will use all caps. sometimes a multiple !! or ??
from hermitcraft streams
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sooo i hope that gives a good idea.
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waterfallofspace · 1 year ago
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~Ask List~
Let's Drop The Stigma And Talk About It
A little list of questions/asks that people may be wondering, but aren't sure if it's appropriate to ask. Or that creators worry would be 'bragging' or 'complaining' by talking about. Let's throw out those thoughts, and just talk about it~
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1) What's one piece of feedback you would give someone starting out? (writing, drawing, wav making, etc~)
2) What’s one piece of advice you see often that you don’t find works for you/helpful?
3) What’s one thing you wish you knew when you started making content?
4) What piece of work are you proudest of? Why are you proud of it?
5) What piece of work are you not proud of? Is there anything you could do to change your feelings on it?
6) What’s a part of sharing your work that you really enjoy?
7) What’s a struggle you face with sharing your work?
8) What feedback do you most enjoy receiving?
9) What feedback, if any, do you not enjoy receiving?
10) What feedback do you enjoy giving?
11) What feedback, if any, do you not enjoy giving?
12) Do you believe you deserve what you’ve gotten, or that it’s not been earned? Either way, why?
13) Which asks do you like getting the most?
14) Which asks do you wish you got more of?
15) Are there any asks you don’t like getting?
16) Do you find it easier, or harder, to get a lot of feedback on content?
17) What kind of requests, if any, do you enjoy getting?
18) What kind of requests, if any, do you wish you got more of?
19) What kind of requests, if any, do you not enjoy getting?
20) Free Square: Tell Us Anything~
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