#in a tragic nutshell

[msharkness]

what a sad beautiful tragic love affair

[noturbutchboy]

Not handsome like a pretty boy handsome like a warrior covered in blood for his women.

[liliallowed]

ah yes I'm so normal about this very specific fictional character called dust.

others: oooh that's a cool name what's it about?

me not wanting to explain Undertale then dusttale, then aus and resets all in one sentence:

"he's like batman but like does it the joker way."

"and his nemesis is joker but does it the Batman way"

[pbaintthetb]

had such a perfect gag of JC rifling through Huaisang's cupboards and finding a tupperware with a post-it-note reading "Not for cooking! :-D" on it and asking what it was only to be met with the response "da-ge's ashes"

except that like if anybody can't be cremated in mdzs it's nmj so like, well that's a perfect gag chucked away.

Like sure NHS can still say it but it's not half as funny if everybody involved knows it's not true

[beevean]

@the-crow-binary <.<

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Baldur's Gate 3 Companion Romances in a nutshell because I've been playing the game and I have brain rot

Karlach: Haha, if we focus on how much we love each other the sense of impending doom might go away what inevitable tragic ending kiss me again lover!

Minthara: Help! She's breaking me faster than I can fix her!

Astarion: Hey baby, lemme just get close to you so you'll never let me get hurt, you're such a useful pawn wait a minute what the fuck no I wasn't SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY LIKE YOU WHAT-

Gale: Protecting your cringefail boyfriend from his abusive ex.

Lae'zel: A tsundere who will actually fucking kill you, now with cult deprogramming.

Shadowheart: Enemies to friends to lovers, now with cult deprogramming.

Wyll: Protecting your cringefail boyfriend from his predatory business contract.

Halsin: Hippie Johnny Bravo.

[marigoldbaker]

@themoistplinth honestly the only reason that the kids don't have jenny regularly run decoy when they're trying to steal shit from giles is because they don't know her well enough to understand that 1) she would absolutely help them with this and 2) she would think it extremely funny. willow talks buffy and xander out of asking because the Feminist Implications of using giles's girlfriend as sexy bait would totally offend ms. calendar, an Evolved Modern Woman, but the reality is that jenny would do it and do it with aplomb simply because she loves unbuttoning like one (1) button of her blouse and watching giles subsequently pour hot tea directly onto his own shoes

the scoobies can manipulate jenny using giles too it’s just that it takes them longer to figure out how to do it because you gotta do it right. “giles said you were super hot” won’t do shit but “giles is trying to learn how to program for you” will have her bluescreening so hard that she WILL NOT notice xander and willow stealing half her technopagan books so that they can figure out how to exorcise the second demon giles accidentally put in the internet (they know dad is gonna get eviscerated by his girlfriend if she finds out about this one)

[maxdibert]

do you think severus’ star sign matched with how his character written in the series?

Ahhhhhh love this ask i’m a total sucker for comparing characters with their astrology signs lol that’s why i know Lavender, the Patils and I would’be been besties lol

An yeah, totally, absolutely, Severus is honestly an amazing representario of a Capricorn man in fiction, and the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. Capricorns are known for being ambitious, determined, and willing to endure endless struggles if it means achieving their goals — and that’s Snape in a nutshell. His whole life is about pushing through hardship, driven by a mission only he fully understands. Like a true Capricorn, he doesn’t care about recognition or validation; he does what needs to be done because he feels it’s his responsibility. His entire existence is defined by a deep sense of duty, even when it costs him everything.

Capricorns are also ruled by Saturn, the planet of discipline, hard work, and lessons learned through struggle. Severus’ life is practically Saturn’s favorite tragic story: he makes a horrible mistake in his youth, pays for it in ways he never imagined, and spends the rest of his life trying to atone — not because he expects forgiveness, but because he knows it’s the right thing to do. He’s strict, methodical, and deeply committed, just like a Capricorn climbing an endless mountain, knowing the climb itself is what defines them.

Then there’s the classic Capricorn emotional front: cold, distant, and harsh on the outside, but secretly carrying the weight of an ocean of feelings. Severus never lets anyone see his true emotions unless it’s absolutely necessary. His feelings for Lily is one of the most defining aspects of his character, but he keeps it locked away, never using it as a way to gain sympathy or attention. Capricorns feel everything intensely but refuse to show vulnerability unless they trust you completely — and trust is something Snape doesn’t give easily, if at all.

Even his sarcastic, cutting sense of humor fits the Capricorn archetype. They’re known for their dry wit and sharp tongues, especially when stressed or forced to deal with people they consider incompetent (looking at you, Harry or Neville in Potions class). Snape’s high standards and intolerance for laziness or foolishness are classic Capricorn traits. He expects excellence because he holds himself to the same impossible standard. And they HATE lazy or dumb people.

[akkpipitphattana]

alright its been a couple days, it's time to get back on my fadel soap box

i've been thinking about this since even before this episode, but it's actually heartbreaking to me the way that fadel refuses to accept help. like obviously style is annoying in many, many ways, but i don't think it's a coincidence that even when he's trying to be helpful, fadel still insists he doesn't need it. the promo for the restaurant, sure, he obviously he doesn't want that many customers in the first place when they're undercover, but it's like even when he's struggling and bison is nowhere to be found, he still fights style on helping him and insists he doesn't need it.

and it's like. god if that just isn't fadel in a nutshell. constantly carrying all this weight and refusing to let anyone help. and i just keep thinking about his ex lover and what happened to him was surely tragic no matter what it was. and like... their mother knows, sure, but does bison? i have to assume bison has no idea that fadel ever loved anyone and lost them, because if he did, how could he possibly look fadel in the eyes and claim he doesn't have a heart?

like bison knows he goes to a support group for loss, but does he have any fucking idea what that's for? did he ever stop to wonder? i'm sure bison cares about fadel, but it's so clear how much he overlooks as the little brother. and sure, part of it is because fadel is making sure he doesn't see any of it, trying to shield bison from his own pain and from experiencing that pain for himself, but god part of it has to also because bison is selfish. and yes, it makes sense that he is, he clearly doesn't want to be doing this, he's made that clear so many times, he wants a life of his own, but he's so laser focused on what he wants and the fact that fadel is the one enforcing all these rules, that he never takes the step back to see how much fadel does for him, or how much fadel is hurt by these things too.

and it's so heartbreaking because for fadel, bison is the person he cares about the most, but to bison, fadel is seen more like an obstacle. someone he has to try and get out of his way. and it's gonna be sooo heartbreaking when fadel finally does let someone else help him carry that weight with style only to find out that not only did it start off disingenuous, but that bison is the one that put him up to it.

[trans-queen-administrator]

Hey, can I hear about your shatterbird thoughts? She's always been my favourite member of the nine :]

[@faultlinescrew]

Oh I'm about to type for entirely too long.

Alright so a chunk of this is kinda headcanon, but any of that is fully based on canon. I had a giant fanfic planned that was literally an expanded telling of Shatterbird's life from trigger to death, and some plot points there may bleed into this unconsciously.

Number one favorite thing about Shatterbird is that initially, she did nothing wrong. She was unwillingly dosed with a Cauldron vial, and her scream and subsequent exploding of Dubai wasn't her fault. She had no intention to hurt anyone, it was done entirely out of her control as she gained powers and she should not be blamed for her first time destroying a city. The thing is, that doesn't matter in universe. She's still going to be hunted down by countless capes because she killed an untold number of people with that scream. No one's going to just let her go because it wasn't her fault, because she's the only person who can be blamed. People want revenge for their loved ones, and I'm willing to bet that she had a sizable bounty. It's similar to the situation we see with Rachel, where she can't have a normal life because she killed someone in her trigger and her identity is public, but on a much much larger scale.

I think the guilt ate at her so fucking bad at first. She killed her dad, her friends, her sister, her mother, countless others, and as much as it wasn't her fault she's still the one that did it. There's no way she doesn't blame herself for what happened, but when does she even have time to mourn? She's fled to a desert, she's gotta be struggling with food and water, and she's being hounded at every turn by people who want her dead. What's she supposed to do, let them kill her so she can atone for what she did or something?

I just love what a tragic backstory this is. She's one of the most horrible people we meet in canon, and I don't think it's unreasonable to say she has one of the highest body counts on Earth Bet, but she started as someone innocent and desperately trying to survive. And as much as I love this backstory and will defend to the death that she did nothing wrong at this point, it doesn't excuse who she becomes.

Shatterbird laughed.  “There’s only two ways to recover from something of that magnitude, to deal with the fact that you inadvertently killed thousands and thousands of people, and hospitalized twice that many.  You break, or you become it.���

(quote is from the missing interlude)

This is the quote that puts her entire character in a nutshell. The biggest question to me is... when did she become it? She implies in that interlude that it was rather quick, and that she went to Britain so she could hit a big target, but the Tattletale clone calls this out as a lie. She was running, the desert that she'd been in for months was unbearably loud with all that sand, and I think she was sick of living on the run. She wanted society, structure, something to make her feel human. I think she's full of shit saying she went there to destroy it, some accident or desperate confrontation occurred (timeline fits well enough for it to be a result of the Simurgh's attack, but that's just one possibility) and she broke London just as bad as she broke Dubai. What do you even do from there? Any slim hope of clearing her name is gone, she just has to keep running and try to ignore the guilt. And she ran to America, where the Slaughterhouse Nine found her.

The recruiting of people by the Slaughterhouse Nine fascinates me, because most are unwilling to join at first. Unfortunately the alternative is to die. No one in Brockton Bay was jumping to be the lucky winner, and the only people we know nominated themselves are Cherish and I think Siberian. Shatterbird (ever notice how she's the only S9 member with no canon first name? drives me nuts) was dragged into the recruitment process with no say in the matter just like most everyone is. Someone in the Nine found her, thought she would be a good fit because of London and Dubai (and how would that feel, to have someone on the S9 see you as just as bad as them?) and even if she explains that was on accident... what does it matter? It never matters that it was an accident. It never will matter. It's just something that she can tell herself to keep her sane.

So she's doing the fun little tests, I'm actually very curious how she altered herself for Mannequin's since he always does the same test, she's a very vain person, but that's off topic. Atrocities, horrors, being hunted by the Siberian, and suddenly she's at the end. Her and someone else.

“That’s not really a test,” Shatterbird spoke, “There hasn’t been a round of testing since I joined the group where we didn’t whittle it down to one candidate.” “We could forego the final test, pitting them against one another.” Shatterbird turned to him, “Ah.  But, again, the last test where we had to go that far was… mine?”

And she kills them. Dubai, London, those were accidents. This was on purpose, maybe even the first time she's done it on purpose. She could either break and decide she couldn't live with herself as a member of the nine, or she could just as horrible as everyone sees her. All her choices were rigged, there was never much of an opportunity to get better since so many paths closed off to her, but she voluntarily chooses to get worse. What's the point in holding on to the fact that it wasn't her fault at the beginning? She's never escaping what she did, so she'll become the monster everyone sees her as. You break, or you become it.

And there's not much of the more sympathetic side of Shatterbird in canon (partly because her backstory chapter was removed). She's fully embraced herself as a mass murderer. She revels in the attention, the fear. She parrots Jack's philosophy as a way to feel better about what she's doing, and eventually she doesn't need to feel better because she enjoys who she is now.

I don't know, I rambled for a while there but it boils down to me being fascinated by the circumstances of her gaining powers, and the shift from innocent but hated/feared to making damn sure that fear is justified.

Ok, so moving on from the backstory analysis, other miscellaneous details. Fuck it, I'm putting every thought I have on Shatterbird in this post.

She's the Nine's primary recruiter! Woo, good for her. Notably, she recruits Burnscar. Mimi is in a similar position to Shatterbird's past self with the whole involuntary mass destruction, although on a lesser scale (it'll always be on a lesser scale, Shatterbird has the worst trigger event out there in terms of consequences and she didn't even trigger). Mimi was on the streets and trying not to use her power, and Shatterbird scooped her up into the Nine.

“I- before I knew it, the Slaughterhouse Nine had found me.  Shatterbird recruited me.  And now I’m stuck.  I’m trapped.  You know there’s a kill order out on me?  If I try to quit, either the Nine or the cops will off me.  So I keep going, I work for them, and it all just gets worse.”

It's a situation Shatterbird can very likely relate to, but she's perpetuating it and making Mimi suffer like she did. No sympathy, no helping someone get through it and avoid the pitfalls she fell into, she's dragging other people down with her like a crab in a pot. Worth noting that I believe she's still bitter about the hand she was dealt even if she's embraced where it led her to, she remembers how horrible it was to be forced into everything and she does not care if she inflicts it on others.

But if someone else willingly joins the Nine, she takes it personally. Cherie says Shatterbird hates her, and that's because Cherie chooses the life Shatterbird was locked into. She's bitter that she never had that choice, and so she makes sure Cherie understands what it's like by chasing her for days for her test, not allowing any rest or sleep. However, this could also simply because Cherie sucks and is an unpleasant person to talk to, and Shatterbird is stuck-up.

Another thing I like is Shatterbird's appearance of knowledge and elegance. She's trying to appear put together, confident, in-control, and to be fair she does a pretty good job, her costume and theming are great. But under that is someone violent and angry, she's keeping up appearances to everyone else but also to herself. The fact that she's always trying to keep up appearances, even when locked in a room and doomed to die with one Witness (haha get it) she's trying to make it look like she was calm and in control when her body is found, is what 100% convinces me exploding Britain was an accident. The Tattletale clone calls her out, and to me it seems like another attempt to seem in control by framing it as deliberate.

Anyway, my attempts to woobify a mass murderer aside, I also like that she was a spoiled rich kid before all this and her prim asshole attitude points to that. She quotes Edgar Allen Poe, she reads because it makes her feel better than others, she's just so pretentious and unpleasant and to be clear I love this as a character trait, it's fun and leads to her speaking in overdramatic ways.

“Then you should know, nearly-Tattletale, that I’ve spent too long in the company of monsters to be scared by words.”

She thinks she was soooo cool saying that.

I also want to look at the last few weeks of her life. She spends so much effort propping herself up as great and in control, only to be locked in a box and puppeted around against her will. Genuinely I cannot think of anything more humiliating and agonizing for her to endure. She has nothing to do but think as she's used as a marionette.

She had a long time to reflect on her life, to look back at how she got here and what she regrets.

But I think she spent it stewing in her rage, itching and planning to get violent revenge and keep hurting others to be respected. She's unwilling and unable to go back, she'll double down on this forever because this is who she is now. And because 99% of characterization for Shatterbird isn't in Worm anyway, I may as well toss in this minor AU summary by Wildbow. If she escaped, she would have started her own version of the Nine with Damsel of Distress and Trickster. There is nothing left to sympathize with or redeem Shatterbird by the time we see her in canon, she's simply past that point. Side note but Shatterbird + Damsel of Distress + Trickster as a team is perhaps the funniest combo ever and I really wish those 3 fuckers got to interact in canon. Weirdo assholes who dress up fancy and have a taste for theatrics as a murder crew, we were robbed.

I could analyze the Hookwolf interlude but I don't want to. I'm very annoyed that Shatterbird (still no first name) is the only member of the Nine to lose the fight against her recruit instead of appearing terrifying and unstoppable. How come Burnscar can solo Faultline's crew but 3 nazis can take out Shatterbird, who has way more experience? It's pretty uncomfortable to have the only member of the Nine who isn't white be the one that loses to nazis, while one calls her a slur in his internal monologue, in the interludes where everyone else on her team is introduced as a force of nature. I think we should just collectively agree to make this interlude not canon and un-retcon the Witness interlude. While I'm on the topic it's also a bit questionable to have Sophia and Shatterbird (no first name. I am annoyed by this) as the only named capes puppeted by Regent?

But that's not the topic I wanna explore. The topic is that Shatterbird is a great character and I wish that she had depth in the story itself rather than scattered through 20 different sources, because she's legitimately my favorite non-undersider in the story. There is a lot of potential to explore her, one could interpret her backstory in a less charitable way than I did just for an example, and I really think she's neat! She takes hurting someone in an accident and then becoming the monster people see her as, something we see a few times throughout worm, to its ultimate conclusion in terms of scale. That alongside her outer layer of intellectualism and pretentiousness, which I'm a massive sucker for as a trait, and she's just perfect. Did nothing wrong (citation needed). I love her and I do hope that at least some of the stuff written her makes someone appreciate her character more.

Ok! That was... 2.2k words about Shatterbird (no first name). Woo! If some stuff seems inconsistent between paragraphs here, it's probably because I wrote this in chunks over the course of a few weeks and my feelings at the time can influence my interpretation of things and my writing to feel different when read all at once and compared. If you think I'm woobifying her too much, cool. I think it makes her more compelling to examine how much we know was her fault and how much she shouldn't be blamed for, and making her have less agency makes her more tragic which I always like. If you actually read this to the end, thank you! Have a nice day!

[ellaswell]

i love my jalim playlist because it goes between envisioning them content in a little english countryside house to tragic loss to dramatic pining to grandiose mythological imagery and back to happy domesticity in the span of 30 minutes and then starts all over again and i think that’s really their relationship in a nutshell to me

[mx-nii]

I JUST CAME UP WITH THE BEST IDEA-

Okay so for a WHILE I’ve wanted to write six of crows fanfiction, specifically centered around Kaz’s haphephobia and how deeply him and Inej care for eachother. I kept putting it off bc I was busy or I wanted to avoid the curse or whatever-

BUT recently Sailor Song came out and the line: “I don’t believe in god but I believe that you’re my savior” IS LITERALLY KANEJ IN A NUTSHELL

And so as I was scrolling through my collection of grishaverse TikToks (500+ and counting), I decided: why not finally write the fanfic AND TITLE IT “I don’t believe in god but I believe that you’re my savior”

It’s gonna be tragic, I’m so excited

[lullabyes22-blog]

I’m sorry in advance for any misunderstandings, english is not my native language💕

Your Silco by far is the most humanly alive I’ve seen out of all other interpretations. He’s sweetly tragic and oh so complex. I just love how troubled he is.

Writer to fellow writer — the way you write is delicious. Taking in account all your works and explorations of characters, it’s all just ✨𝒸𝒽𝑒𝒻’𝓈 𝓀𝒾𝓈𝓈✨

My personal applause to you(taking off the imaginary hat)

While I hold the opinion, that his endgame might be someone just like him in most terms, their flirting being something between a chess game and honey-laced threat, i’m intrigued how you imagine him falling in love? Would him falling in love(or in obsession with such person) differ from courtship of his “fancies” and “assets”?

When he understands that he’s sinking to the bottom of his own play? Will he notice it at all? Will he get terrified and try to trick himself into believing that its’ the person ill intention? And in what circumstances he might surrender to that feeling belly-up(or meet it with bared teeth and a fight, from the other perspective)?

Thank you so much<3

I'm trying my best to write these characters with every tiny scrap of humanity I can find in them. So I'm truly glad that comes across in Silco's portrayal c:

Silco and love is such a fascinating subject, and one I hope to explore as FnF goes on. Canon already abundantly establishes that he has the capacity for it, but also that he tends to elude the gravity of the bond until he finds himself in the position where he needs to confront his feelings head-on. It's also plain that love, far from redeeming him, has the power to utterly destroy him.

I will say that, for Silco in FnF, familial/parental love always takes precedence over romantic love. He's one of those people who tends to pour themselves into the sanctity of a cause, and while that cause starts off as Zaun, by the end, it's Jinx. She is the culmination of everything he's fought for, and for her to succeed as the future he's always envisioned, he will gladly walk into that good night with a smile on his lips and a heart unburdened by regret.

Similarly, his feelings for a true romantic partner - one he doesn't simply view through the omnipresent lens of acquisition, control and conquest - are on par with that. A sort of unconditional surrender -but also one that can be terrifying, and leave him in the empty cradle of a river of blood. There's a deeply erotic and self-destructive root to the nature of how Silco loves. It's part of why his relationship with Vander was so intense, as for him, the true sexual release was in the idea of his own destruction, not as an act of martyrdom but resurrection.

For him, love is a revolution: one that burns all bridges, and yet leaves the way clear for the dawning of a new and brighter day.

So in a nutshell: Silco loves the ones he can't live without. And, more often than not, it kills him in the process.

In FnF, when the time does come for him to fall in love, it will be the same way he's thrown himself into Zaun's rebirth: utterly, irrevocably, and without a trace of doubt.

But he's not going to be aware of it until the lightning-bolt strikes, at least not consciously. I will also say that he's going to fall in love with a lot of different people during his journey in FnF, some more profound than others, but each will teach him how to be more human, even if it's simply the lesson of learning how to be hurt.

Part of his evolution in FnF is him learning how to transcend that one-and-done version of love he had with Vander, which delimited his ability to feel any other kind, and ultimately crippled his capacity to form more lasting relationships post-drowning, due to trauma and a survival mindset.

Another part of his evolution - beyond confronting love as a force of nature "with bared teeth" as you wonderfully put it - is coming down to the level of the mundane, and finding god in the simplicity of a shared life: someone who pours him his morning coffee, a stray eyelash plucked away by a finger, a hand resting on his shoulder during a lull in a firefight.

All of those are little pieces of love that come together to create the mosaic. Silco's spent a lifetime prepared to rush into the fire, rather than content to watch the sunrise from the shore. And the crux of his endgame in FnF is learning how to reestablish that balance.

tl;dr: for Silco to fall in love, he needs to remember how to live again <3

[lupamoe]

For these existences who have fallen into a tragic love?

Thank you so much PunisherMyWaifu for this wonderful fanart! :)

"aqua aegyo??" literally a nutshell of their reactions next chapter... lmaoaoaoa

[glorious-sunset]

How Immortals age in cdramas – clues from LBFAD

Many of our favourite cdramas sweep us into the beautiful fantasy world of the Xianxia genre, where immortal beings live for thousands of years! But they look so young?! How does ageing work for these lucky immortals in terms of human appearance? LBFAD (Love Between Fairy and Devil) gives us a few clues about this mysterious process!

Details are below, but in a nutshell, immortal beings grow quickly in childhood then the appearance of ageing slows down and stops! Sometimes their hair turns white when they are drained of energy making them look older than they should! For spirits who have cultivated from plant or animal form, it works differently as they transform directly into adult human form :) I created a graph of the immortal ageing process vs. human appearance based on clues from LBFAD (appears further down, yes I am a math nerd and proud :D ).

Young child

Our first clue to the mysteries of immortal ageing is Changheng, who was a few hundred years old during the Battle of Two Tribes (30,000 years ago) and is described as having been only a young boy at that time (let’s say around 7). Babies born to immortal parents mature (relatively) quickly into young children over a few hundred years, but ageing slows down after that.

Shangque was also a young boy when he was orphaned and rescued by a young DongFang QingCang (DFQC). Since Shangque describes DFQC as like a brother to him, they are likely of a similar age and DFQC was also a young boy at that time - both a few hundred years old.

Pre-teen

Shangque says that he has served DFQC for 38,000 years since DFQC saved him (in ep. 17). For the last 30,000 of those, DFQC was imprisoned in Haotian tower. Therefore, DFQC had been aged just over 8,000 years during the Battle of the Two Tribes - rough guess 8,500 – 9,000 years old since he was a young boy when he saved Shangque. The Battle of Two Tribes occurred soon after killing his father* and physically, his appearance was of an 11-year-old at that time (the actor was 11 during filming).

At this time, Xunfeng’s appearance was of a 9-year-old (actor was 9), and his age probably around 5,000 years old (based on graph below :D )

Xiao Lanhua’s (XLH) first life with her parents in the beautiful mountains of Xishan was also cut short when she was the same age as DFQC entering Haotian Tower. Her actress was also 11 during the tragic massacre of her tribe, and she began a new life as a little orchid flower spirit hidden in the mortal realm.

(*We know that the Battle of Two Tribes occurred soon after the death of DFQC’s father because XLH tells his father’s spirit in ep. 17 that 30,000 years have passed since his death).

Early 20s

The immortals Xunfeng, DFQC and Changheng have the appearance of young men aged 21, 22 and 23 (the age of their actors during filming) and represent the early 20s demographic in human appearance! 30,000 years have now passed and their immortal ages are around 35,000 for Xunfeng, 30,500 for Changheng, and 39,000 years for DFQC. (Sadly for DFQC, his body had been unconscious over these 30,000 years while imprisoned in Haotian tower, but his disembodied spirit had stayed conscious and pounded on the Haotian matrix every day.)

Thus immortals aged 30,000 to 40,000 years seem to take on the appearance of humans in their early 20s. Wouldn’t it be great to stay 21 for thousands of years?! :D

Early 30s

The ages of most of the other characters are unknown, but we have one more clue from an older immortal! We know that Supreme Liyuan is aged over 80,000 years, as he tells “Changheng” in ep. 12 that he is over 50,000 years older than him, and Changheng himself is aged ~30,500 years. Physically, Liyuan’s human appearance is mostly that of a 33-year-old man (the age of his actor during filming). What is strange about his appearance is his hair, which had turned white during the Battle of Two Tribes and never recovered – more on this phenomenon further down.

The Immortal ageing process

Based on the clues LBFAD gave us, here is my take on the ageing process for immortal beings born to immortal parents. Plant spirits, and animal spirits (mentioned in the novel but not the drama) that cultivate into human form are discussed separately below.

Hair turning white

We sometimes see the hair of immortals turning white when they are drained of their energy and cultivation. It happens to three immortals in LBFAD. The first is Ronghao – he uses up half of his cultivation to heal Changheng in ep. 13. His face and lips drain of blood and his hair starts to turn white.

DFQC’s hair also turned white during the Battle of Two Tribes. First he was weakened by his battle with Lady Chidi, then Lord Dong, Supreme Liyuan and the entire High Council of Shuiyuntian ganged up on him, separating his body and spirit and imprisoning both with the Haotian matrix. It also turns white when he is possessed by Taisui in ep. 36.

Back to Supreme Liyuan. Along with the others in the Heavenly High Council, he poured his spiritual energy into creating the powerful magical seal of the Haotian matrix 30,000 years ago. Liyuan is one of Lord Dong’s peers, and he and Lord Dong likely worked especially hard to seal DFQC. The process was so draining for Lord Dong that he has been in seclusion since then, leaving his son Yunzhong in charge. Liyuan managed to stay out of seclusion but his hair hasn’t been the same since! It used to be black during the scenes where he enters fatherhood but now seems to be permanently white. (Assuming Danyin and Jieli were born shortly before the Battle of Two Tribes, this would make them around Changheng’s age).

Cultivated spirits

XLH is a special case and has lived three lives in LBFAD (In her third life, she tells Changheng in ep. 35 that she remembers her previous two lives). In the first, she aged “normally” as above after being born to immortal parents. In the second and third of her lives, she cultivates directly into adult human form from a plant spirit form after cultivating for a period of time. This is what generally happens for plant and animal spirits cultivating into human form in Xianxia.

In XLH’s second life, she was an orchid plant in the mortal realm for 28,500 years or less (or so Siming told her). Time runs faster in the mortal realm, where a few hours in the immortal realm is equal to a few months in the mortal realm. Then Siming brought her to Arbiter Hall, cared for her, and she transformed into human form! At the start of LBFAD, she is 1,500 years old (as she says in ep. 2) and mentally a young girl on the brink of adulthood. She then quickly matures through the drama.

In XLH’s third life, DFQC meticulously cared for her orchid form so well every day that her transformation process is much shorter! (the drama doesn’t specify how long but it took ten years in the novel). After transforming this time, she retains the memories of her previous two lives, and is a mature and responsible goddess with the appearance of a woman in her early 20s.

Lived experience

The lived experience of both DFQC and XLH was interrupted early. DFQC was aged only ~9,000 years when he was imprisoned in Haotian tower. XLH was similarly aged when her tribe was massacred and she was reverted back to a plant spirit with no human form. The child actors for both were 11 during these tragic events. XLH re-emerges 1,500 years prior to the start of LBFAD, then frees DFQC in ep. 1. Thus compared with other “young” characters like Xunfeng and Changheng, their total lived experience is much less, and they are most comparable (and compatible! :D ) with each other.

Here is a link to my article: Character Names in LBFAD – Meaning and Significance

All of my LBFAD articles can be viewed with the tag #lbfad reflections (hyperlinked) and the table of contents to these is here.

[burnt-by-marigolds]

Astarion’s first bite: Vampirism in a nutshell

As a person who's spent the better part of their life consuming and analyzing various vampire media, I'd like to stop and appreciate the first time Astarion feeds from Tav. The scene, however brief, is simply delicious.

(I know it's probably already been written a thousand times all over the Internet, but I'm playing the game for the first time, let me have my fun.)

Vampire bite has been portrayed in a million different ways in popular culture. As an avid TTRPG player, I am probably the most used to the idea of Vampire the Masquerade’s ‘Kiss’: there, the act is generally intensely pleasurable for mortals, putting them in a state of daze that some even liken to orgasm, but victims retain hazy memories of it at best. It’s not unheard of for people to get addicted to the feeling and become so-called blood dolls, purposefully seeking out vampires just to experience the high again. Oh, and the bitemarks? No worries! All it takes is for the vampire to lick the wound after they're done feeding and the skin instantly heals.

I love VtM, but I'm glad this is not the case with Astarion.

The game makes a clear statement: being fed on by a vampire isn't a sexy or pleasurable thing. Even if Astarion tries to be civil about it, and Tav gives consent, this is still very much a predatory act, a physical intrusion. It's painful – like a shard of ice into your neck – and leaves the character weakened.

And Tav stays conscious for the entire time, gritting their teeth, trying to look at Astarion and figure out what exactly is happening to their neck. No haze to dull the memories, no painkillers or sedatives, no nothing. Sorry, Tav; you have to go through this acutely aware of every single sensation.

This contrasts profoundly with what the ‘pale elf’ is experiencing. While Tav feels pain and gets a very telling, brand new ugly wound, the vampire pulls away, clearly intoxicated and even incredulous. That was amazing. (...) I feel… happy! 

This opposition is further emphasized by the game systems, namely the conditions the two characters receive. Tav becomes Bloodless, suffering a penalty to rolls etc. A classic victim of vampire bite: sluggish, strangely pale, with mysterious punctures on their neck… It's almost a pity we can't choose to decorate Tav’s tent with a garlic wreath.

Astarion, on the other hand, doesn't become, I don't know, Invigorated, or Sated, or Bloated As a Tick. No, the focus is again on him being… Happy. Not empowered (although he clearly is), but simply happy for the first time in gods know how long, as opposed to him being constantly on edge, on the run, and fighting for survival. He experiences a moment of bliss. This is a gift.

Thus the scene presents various facets of the vampire myth in a nutshell. Because what is a vampire? It's an animalistic monster who preys on humanity (cut to the painful wound on the neck and gritted teeth). It's a deceptively civil and charming individual, often tragic and very self aware (cut to Astarion asking for permission, saying how he's only ever fed on vermin or stating he won't forget the kindness). It's a blood junkie (cut to Astarion experiencing the rush of excitement and ‘happiness’). It's a parasite, because even if the feeding is consensual, we can clearly see which side reaps the benefits, and which is left weakened with nothing in exchange. 

Oh, the complexity of the vampiric condition.

(The fact that vampiric bite is often a metaphor for sexual act isn't lost here, even if it's not the focus; it becomes more pronounced later, when Astarion reluctantly admits You were my first. Which, depending on the angle, may render the whole thing an even darker shade.)

And let me say again, all of this is packed neatly into a single, pretty brief scene. I love this game already.

PS The screenshots feature Yae, my half-elven goolock/bladelock. Say hello to him!

Thanks for reaching the end of the note! Please bear in mind I'm playing Baldur's Gate 3 for the first time and I haven't played any of the origin stories yet. Feel free to let me know if you think some things can be viewed differently in the context of the full game, but please avoid spoilers while doing so.