#in a tragic nutshell

[posletsvet]

What drives Maki's entire character arc is her desire to destroy. The Zen'in household, the very air of it dripping with the elders' rigid mentality of out-dated tradition, gave her no room to breathe, tried to smother her, and her flame burns ever so brighter 'in the open air' when she leaves. Next time Maki crosses the threshold of her family house, desolation follows in her footsteps. She rages against the confines forced upon her, and she destroys in a gesture of ultimate liberation.

It is undeniably tragic and yet poetic that Mai wields the opposite power, her cursed technique, labeled 'Construction', allowing her to create. And there's surely something to be said about the symbolism of Mai's ability to create something from nothing. The clan's strict hierarchy and narrow-minded superstition left the twins without as much as scraps, bare minimum to make one's existence bearable. And even so Mai managed to find something to hold on to, something, someone to call happiness -- her sister. But just like Mai's technique is not enough to create anything big or complicated, whatever happiness she constructed for herself back then was never enough for Maki.

Mai's self-sacrifice serves as her final creation, though this time she creates through destruction and for the sake of destruction. She gives up on herself, gives herself up, and her last wish is for her creation to be used to destroy, to destroy everything. And Maki does as Mai wishes, burns everythig to the ground, but her sister's sacrifice turns her destruction to creation. Because what will some day, somehow come in the wake of the bloodshed and tragedy and loss is hope -- for the better future born out of ash.

There's that beautiful interplay between Maki and Mai's characters, between destruction and creation: 'You are me, and I am you'.

[amarriageoftrueminds]

I ended up doing a long old rant on this other post, about the problems with the Steve/Bucky characterisation in CATFA, how it fails to make them mutual in their support / fails to properly show Steve's struggles and independence, before serum.

And I was thinking...

what would you have to do, if you wanted to write a CATFA or pre-war Stucky fic and wanted to fix all those problems?

So I figured I'd make a list!

Pardon me while I rip CATFA a new one...

.

Problem 1) Pre-serum Steve acts as if he's independent and self-reliant without Bucky... when the opposite is shown.

A) He doesn't have a job.

(He isn't shown working, doesn't mention working, or taking time off to do the things we see him doing etc. Bucky is framed as paying for things.)

If the fic is set during CATFA you could fix that by mentioning Steve does have a job but has been given time off to go enlist. Or has just been fired from his job. Basically anything to show that Steve has had a job, has been working. Perhaps even had multiple simultaneous jobs!

Probably cut out the part where Steve scoffs at working in a factory or collecting scrap metal (more likely he'd admire and/or understand why both of those are viable options; maybe they're jobs he has done in the past and is biased against now, for some experiential-related reason.)

Or, if he still does not want to work in a factory... well, at the time, with most men being overseas, factory work would've been women's work. So perhaps Steve was reluctant because it feels emasculating. Or maybe even dysphoric, to be relegated to otherwise female-only spaces, instead of welcomed into (then) male-only spaces like the Army? 🤔

(This would especially ring true if you were doing a trans!Steve story, or emphasising the disability aspect of his life. And it would cycle back when he gets stuck in the USO, doing women's work again.)

B) It would also be better characterisation if pre-serum Steve was actually already good at fighting, but just happened to be outclassed by heavier weight opponents, and/or handicapped by sudden disability flare ups mid-fight.

(In the tie-in comic, Bucky taught him how to box. Why not keep this? It really makes sense!)

The ability to fight and win should be a matter of Steve's spirit, not his physical body or his training. It shouldn't arrive with serum.

(To put it in His Dark Materials terms; Will Parry has a warrior's daemon, even when he's a 12 year old boy; he can win a contest against a grown man or even an armoured polar bear! Likewise, Steve Rogers is supposed to be the David who can win against a Goliath - yes, even when he's the little guy.)

I know it's easy to have Bucky swoop in to save Steve from a fight he's losing disastrously. But it would be more gripping (and make Bucky's value shine more), if Steve was actually winning the fight, despite being the underdog, and then something completely out of his control happened that tipped the tide against him, and then Bucky arrived to save him!

And also it would make more sense if Steve's health at the time of CATFA was in a lifetime high point, (possibly because of Bucky's long term support).

Then it would be less nonsensical to be trying to lie his way into the Army. There has to be some actual common sense logic behind his choice, so that he's not essentially snapping 'Bucky why won't you support me committing suicide, gdi??'

Steve shouldn't be getting his first real win by knocking down a flagpole; he should've been showing this capability in his pre-war / pre-Army time, too.

Possible Example:

You could emphasise the idea of Steve entering a fight he knows he's going to lose, in order to accomplish a secondary goal that the enemy doesn't recognise.

IE. Steve fighting the bully in the alleyway -- he loses the fight, but succeeds in stopping the bully from making a scene in the cinema, which was his original goal. So mention it!

(Steve could be like 'winning this fight wasn't the point.' And Bucky could be like 'ah, so what were you distracting him from?')

Perhaps Steve's secret goal in joining the war isn't to win the fight against Nazis, but to distract Nazis from Bucky?

.

Problem 2) The support is imbalanced; Bucky's doing all the emotional, financial, and physical labour in the relationship.

You could fix that by showing how pre-serum Steve was not only mutually financially supportive of Bucky (in the sense of having a job), but was also supporting Bucky emotionally and physically, just as much as Bucky supported him. He could be doing at least 2 of the 3!

Possible Examples:

Bucky going through an emotionally hard time that pre-serum Steve pulls him through (just as Bucky did with Steve's Ma).

Steve treating Bucky's wounds after a fight, just as Bucky treats his. (If Bucky's a boxer, like the tie-in comic, then Steve could be his cut man when he's in the ring!)

Steve paying for some of their expenses, or finding places to take Bucky that are free when it's his turn to plan a day out, etc.

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Problem 3: Sarah & problem 2.

If this is CATFA / post-death setting, show flashbacks or make references to Steve visiting her in hospital, or doing the work of nursing her himself / sitting by her bedside if she died at home, paying for her medicine, etc.

So that it's not just another example of Bucky wholly carrying Steve; show the balance. Maybe Bucky was temporarily footing the bill so that Steve could afford to quit his job and do the nursing at home. Both putting the work in, in different ways.

(This would be a perfect example of one way Bucky's experience of looking after sick Steve would pay off, and make him able to teach Steve how to do it when the roles are reversed.)

Better yet, a show-don't-tell of Sarah instilling Steve's moral compass and tenacity; maybe even some Bucky POV to show her impact isn't just relegated to Steve.

Her absence could also be shown in present day with Steve, eg. packing up his things to go to basic and having to leave behind some keepsake of hers. In the comics Steve carried her photo. Perfect candidate to put in his compass!

.

Problem 4: The relationship is framed as transactional.

Less of 'I'll do X for Bucky now because he did Y for me back then'

and more of 'helping Bucky is the right thing to do because he's innocent, so I'm going to do it regardless of outside whining, and he would still do the same thing for me, or anyone else, because he's a good person too.'

There has to be more to it than just convenience, needing each other around to help; there has to be an actual desire to be together for pure enjoyment, too.

IMO you'd need at least one scene where Steve and Bucky aren't benefiting in some way from spending energy on eachother. They're just... happy being together.

And perhaps Bucky isn't the only friend pre-serum Steve could have had, just the one Steve most wanted to stick with. (His options should amount to more than 'Bucky or no one.')

Perhaps Steve's health absences and strong principles drove other friendship prospects away? Perhaps Steve even lost other disabled friends to their poor health, poverty, etc?

.

Problem 5: A's problems are framed as B's.

No more 'Steve getting attacked' being framed as a problem for Bucky.

No more 'Bucky being drafted to die' framed as a problem for Steve.

Better characterisation would show these bad things affect the victim first and foremost, and only/also the other one, secondarily.

Steve shouldn't be seeing Bucky's shipping-out uniform (skipping right over thank yous and congratulations) and talking about how that's sad for... himself.

Steve shouldn't be sabotaging Bucky's last night of freedom in NYC to spend it on... his own goals.

Sidenote: Bucky wanting to spend his last night of freedom with strangers is such idiotic writing anyway, when he has both Steve and a living family with whom he could be spending those last precious moments! And dragging Steve on a double blind date he clearly doesn't want to go on is counter-productive. It undermines the mutually-supportive / mutually communicative relationship Steve and Bucky should logically have, as lifelong inseparable best friends (viz. a Bucky who's known Steve this long should be able to tell he's not into it.) And it shifts the blame for Steve's singlehood off of him and onto Bucky, and women generally.

Steve shouldn't be detailing why he's so keen to fight, and focusing on random men he doesn't know, not directly/unequivocally mentioning Bucky at all.

(Indirectly, he wants to be like the men laying down their lives -- so... like Bucky? But this is still nonsense. He should want to be there to support Bucky, not to copy!)

It's likewise nonsense for Bucky, who has known Steve since he was a child, to ask Steve why he's keen to fight.

Bucky doesn't need to ask. Bucky already knows!

Lazy clumsy exposition.

And the narrative should be showing us why Steve wants to fight Nazis, rather than having Steve infodump some vague reason without anything to back it up.

Speaking of which...

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Problem 6: Lack of explicit politics.

Like in the comics, Steve's reasons for fighting Nazis should be explicitly left wing and political, as well as passionately personal.

(Wanting to be like able-bodied men who get girlfriends is complete cringe incel bullshit as a motivation and not true to the comics, or CEvans's performance!)

Proper Steve characterisation should have him behaving in a way that shows he's a man ahead of his time in terms of Antifa politics, and that's why he wants to fight.

IE. happily sharing housing and schooling with people of other races, ethnicities, and religions. (Especially so when he has been in the same SEC as them / been in multiple different schools and lived in various neighbourhoods as a poor kid. Would also establish why both Steve and Bucky are fine having Gabe and Jim on their team!)

Not judging and mistreating disabled people the way he is.

Not judging unmarried mothers, belittling working women, expecting his mother to do all the housework, etc.

Not freaking out about the existence of queer people in public (even in an AU where he isn't one) defending gay men from attack as he does in the comics,

protesting and/or sabotaging public Nazi meetings in NYC, fighting with homegrown Nazi bullies especially,

ditto corrupt business owners / mafia union-runners as he does in the comics, etc.

(Sidenote: as a congenitally disabled person, Steve is also a target of Nazi rhetoric himself. So he would be personally concerned with fighting Fascism, and perhaps this was his philosophical springboard to recognising and combating all the other bullshit in its thinking, even when it's entrenched in American society.)

Basically, the Hydra saboteur should not be the first Nazi Steve ever got his hands on!

And Bucky should be an addendum when it comes to his reasoning. The heart of Steve's motive, where politics are the guts.

.

Problem 7: No disability rep.

A) Steve should not be saying that he, a disabled man, shouldn't have the 'right' to do less than able-bodied men, even though it is literally physically impossible...

...UNLESS, this internalized ableism is addressed in-story, rather than treated as if it's normal and even noble.

Other characters can be ableist; Steve should not (not only is he disabled himself, but he's supposed to know better!) ....unless it's part of an arc that shows him learning the error of his ways.

And that's a slippery slope when you consider that Project Rebirth, started by Nazis, really is a Eugenics project.

Instead of this suicidal ideation, it could be shown that Steve's health has recently become good enough for him to survive and succeed in the Army. And/or that Steve is passionate about fighting fascism, personally, because he belongs to a class of people whom Nazis believe shouldn't be allowed to exist.

Without Steve arguing that he should throw his disabled life away, just because able-bodied men are taking a significantly lesser risk of dying than him.

B) There should be actual details of Steve's disabilities, what they are and how they affect him. (Him - not Bucky.) In a way that has concrete negative consequences, beyond just not getting into the Army.

Possible Examples:

Kid!Steve being held back a year at school because of missing days due to sickness. (Kids can be cruel and parents can be ignorant; he might've been bullied and ostracised for being sick and believed contagious. And that's before the consider the amount of isolation necessary for recovery periods.)

Kid!Steve having to move around a lot (which would also affect which school he'd have to attend; always the new boy!) because losing money to medicine affects what his mother can afford, affects her work schedule when she has to look after him. Living in a worse place would then exacerbate his pre-existing symptoms, and so on.

Adult!Steve losing a job because of sick days, losing savings to pay for medicine, getting sick again because he chose heating and groceries over medicine, or vice versa, etc.

(This / the moving-around might be mitigated if he and Bucky are living together, meaning Bucky could make up the shortfall.)

Steve could lose friendships, job opportunities, or romantic partners due to sickness repeatedly taking him out of social circulation. He might also have disabled friends who lost the fight / weren't as lucky as him.

You could also play into the Nazi eugenics then endemic to the USA and have medical professionals telling Steve he shouldn't be alive; 'well-meaning' people offering to pray for him, saying they'd have just 'given up' if they were born like him, etc. (Or even saying these things to his mother!)

And Steve should, maybe, mention once or twice that he feels better after serum, and truly couldn't be doing what he's doing in Europe, if superserum hadn't also cured all his ailments?

If he's much more peppy afterwards, it should be because for the first time in his life he can actually breathe and spring out of bed!

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Problem 8) The Incelery.

Pre-serum Steve should not be framed as undateable because he's short and disabled.

If Steve hasn't had a girlfriend, it should be because he didn't want one, not because he's incapable; not because evil women are repulsed by invisible health issues or Bucky is too dreamy for a disabled man to possibly compete with, be so fr. 🙄

You could fix this by making Steve: gay,

ace,

demi,

coincidentally surrounded by lesbians,

by women who have horrible unattractive politics,

too sick or busy with work to date,

getting attention but it's the wrong kind (ie. women who want to fetishize or nanny him),

and/or being very attractive to women even before serum but oblivious and/or simply not interested. 😂

/more than one of the above.

.

[noturbutchboy]

Not handsome like a pretty boy handsome like a warrior covered in blood for his women.

[liliallowed]

ah yes I'm so normal about this very specific fictional character called dust.

others: oooh that's a cool name what's it about?

me not wanting to explain Undertale then dusttale, then aus and resets all in one sentence:

"he's like batman but like does it the joker way."

"and his nemesis is joker but does it the Batman way"

[pbaintthetb]

had such a perfect gag of JC rifling through Huaisang's cupboards and finding a tupperware with a post-it-note reading "Not for cooking! :-D" on it and asking what it was only to be met with the response "da-ge's ashes"

except that like if anybody can't be cremated in mdzs it's nmj so like, well that's a perfect gag chucked away.

Like sure NHS can still say it but it's not half as funny if everybody involved knows it's not true

[the--grin--reaper]

Eithan: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

[beevean]

@the-crow-binary <.<

[error-area]

Arranged marriage, her lover/best friends die in a plane crash. Mother fell ill and her dad took all the money and faked her death, putting her in a lab and got killed. Came back as a ghost made a deal with a shadow demon in order to take revenge and came to the spirit realm, got adopted by her gay "older brother" and was reunited with her love interest and had a good life.

@ultra-raging-ghost

(ur turn-)

EVERYONE QUICK describe your oc story in the worst way possible

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Baldur's Gate 3 Companion Romances in a nutshell because I've been playing the game and I have brain rot

Karlach: Haha, if we focus on how much we love each other the sense of impending doom might go away what inevitable tragic ending kiss me again lover!

Minthara: Help! She's breaking me faster than I can fix her!

Astarion: Hey baby, lemme just get close to you so you'll never let me get hurt, you're such a useful pawn wait a minute what the fuck no I wasn't SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY LIKE YOU WHAT-

Gale: Protecting your cringefail boyfriend from his abusive ex.

Lae'zel: A tsundere who will actually fucking kill you, now with cult deprogramming.

Shadowheart: Enemies to friends to lovers, now with cult deprogramming.

Wyll: Protecting your cringefail boyfriend from his predatory business contract.

Halsin: Hippie Johnny Bravo.

[mx-nii]

I JUST CAME UP WITH THE BEST IDEA-

Okay so for a WHILE I’ve wanted to write six of crows fanfiction, specifically centered around Kaz’s haphephobia and how deeply him and Inej care for eachother. I kept putting it off bc I was busy or I wanted to avoid the curse or whatever-

BUT recently Sailor Song came out and the line: “I don’t believe in god but I believe that you’re my savior” IS LITERALLY KANEJ IN A NUTSHELL

And so as I was scrolling through my collection of grishaverse TikToks (500+ and counting), I decided: why not finally write the fanfic AND TITLE IT “I don’t believe in god but I believe that you’re my savior”

It’s gonna be tragic, I’m so excited

[jennycalendar]

@themoistplinth honestly the only reason that the kids don't have jenny regularly run decoy when they're trying to steal shit from giles is because they don't know her well enough to understand that 1) she would absolutely help them with this and 2) she would think it extremely funny. willow talks buffy and xander out of asking because the Feminist Implications of using giles's girlfriend as sexy bait would totally offend ms. calendar, an Evolved Modern Woman, but the reality is that jenny would do it and do it with aplomb simply because she loves unbuttoning like one (1) button of her blouse and watching giles subsequently pour hot tea directly onto his own shoes

the scoobies can manipulate jenny using giles too it’s just that it takes them longer to figure out how to do it because you gotta do it right. “giles said you were super hot” won’t do shit but “giles is trying to learn how to program for you” will have her bluescreening so hard that she WILL NOT notice xander and willow stealing half her technopagan books so that they can figure out how to exorcise the second demon giles accidentally put in the internet (they know dad is gonna get eviscerated by his girlfriend if she finds out about this one)

[trans-queen-administrator]

Hey, can I hear about your shatterbird thoughts? She's always been my favourite member of the nine :]

[@faultlinescrew]

Oh I'm about to type for entirely too long.

Alright so a chunk of this is kinda headcanon, but any of that is fully based on canon. I had a giant fanfic planned that was literally an expanded telling of Shatterbird's life from trigger to death, and some plot points there may bleed into this unconsciously.

Number one favorite thing about Shatterbird is that initially, she did nothing wrong. She was unwillingly dosed with a Cauldron vial, and her scream and subsequent exploding of Dubai wasn't her fault. She had no intention to hurt anyone, it was done entirely out of her control as she gained powers and she should not be blamed for her first time destroying a city. The thing is, that doesn't matter in universe. She's still going to be hunted down by countless capes because she killed an untold number of people with that scream. No one's going to just let her go because it wasn't her fault, because she's the only person who can be blamed. People want revenge for their loved ones, and I'm willing to bet that she had a sizable bounty. It's similar to the situation we see with Rachel, where she can't have a normal life because she killed someone in her trigger and her identity is public, but on a much much larger scale.

I think the guilt ate at her so fucking bad at first. She killed her dad, her friends, her sister, her mother, countless others, and as much as it wasn't her fault she's still the one that did it. There's no way she doesn't blame herself for what happened, but when does she even have time to mourn? She's fled to a desert, she's gotta be struggling with food and water, and she's being hounded at every turn by people who want her dead. What's she supposed to do, let them kill her so she can atone for what she did or something?

I just love what a tragic backstory this is. She's one of the most horrible people we meet in canon, and I don't think it's unreasonable to say she has one of the highest body counts on Earth Bet, but she started as someone innocent and desperately trying to survive. And as much as I love this backstory and will defend to the death that she did nothing wrong at this point, it doesn't excuse who she becomes.

Shatterbird laughed.  “There’s only two ways to recover from something of that magnitude, to deal with the fact that you inadvertently killed thousands and thousands of people, and hospitalized twice that many.  You break, or you become it.”

(quote is from the missing interlude)

This is the quote that puts her entire character in a nutshell. The biggest question to me is... when did she become it? She implies in that interlude that it was rather quick, and that she went to Britain so she could hit a big target, but the Tattletale clone calls this out as a lie. She was running, the desert that she'd been in for months was unbearably loud with all that sand, and I think she was sick of living on the run. She wanted society, structure, something to make her feel human. I think she's full of shit saying she went there to destroy it, some accident or desperate confrontation occurred (timeline fits well enough for it to be a result of the Simurgh's attack, but that's just one possibility) and she broke London just as bad as she broke Dubai. What do you even do from there? Any slim hope of clearing her name is gone, she just has to keep running and try to ignore the guilt. And she ran to America, where the Slaughterhouse Nine found her.

The recruiting of people by the Slaughterhouse Nine fascinates me, because most are unwilling to join at first. Unfortunately the alternative is to die. No one in Brockton Bay was jumping to be the lucky winner, and the only people we know nominated themselves are Cherish and I think Siberian. Shatterbird (ever notice how she's the only S9 member with no canon first name? drives me nuts) was dragged into the recruitment process with no say in the matter just like most everyone is. Someone in the Nine found her, thought she would be a good fit because of London and Dubai (and how would that feel, to have someone on the S9 see you as just as bad as them?) and even if she explains that was on accident... what does it matter? It never matters that it was an accident. It never will matter. It's just something that she can tell herself to keep her sane.

So she's doing the fun little tests, I'm actually very curious how she altered herself for Mannequin's since he always does the same test, she's a very vain person, but that's off topic. Atrocities, horrors, being hunted by the Siberian, and suddenly she's at the end. Her and someone else.

“That’s not really a test,” Shatterbird spoke, “There hasn’t been a round of testing since I joined the group where we didn’t whittle it down to one candidate.” “We could forego the final test, pitting them against one another.” Shatterbird turned to him, “Ah.  But, again, the last test where we had to go that far was… mine?”

And she kills them. Dubai, London, those were accidents. This was on purpose, maybe even the first time she's done it on purpose. She could either break and decide she couldn't live with herself as a member of the nine, or she could just as horrible as everyone sees her. All her choices were rigged, there was never much of an opportunity to get better since so many paths closed off to her, but she voluntarily chooses to get worse. What's the point in holding on to the fact that it wasn't her fault at the beginning? She's never escaping what she did, so she'll become the monster everyone sees her as. You break, or you become it.

And there's not much of the more sympathetic side of Shatterbird in canon (partly because her backstory chapter was removed). She's fully embraced herself as a mass murderer. She revels in the attention, the fear. She parrots Jack's philosophy as a way to feel better about what she's doing, and eventually she doesn't need to feel better because she enjoys who she is now.

I don't know, I rambled for a while there but it boils down to me being fascinated by the circumstances of her gaining powers, and the shift from innocent but hated/feared to making damn sure that fear is justified.

Ok, so moving on from the backstory analysis, other miscellaneous details. Fuck it, I'm putting every thought I have on Shatterbird in this post.

She's the Nine's primary recruiter! Woo, good for her. Notably, she recruits Burnscar. Mimi is in a similar position to Shatterbird's past self with the whole involuntary mass destruction, although on a lesser scale (it'll always be on a lesser scale, Shatterbird has the worst trigger event out there in terms of consequences and she didn't even trigger). Mimi was on the streets and trying not to use her power, and Shatterbird scooped her up into the Nine.

“I- before I knew it, the Slaughterhouse Nine had found me.  Shatterbird recruited me.  And now I’m stuck.  I’m trapped.  You know there’s a kill order out on me?  If I try to quit, either the Nine or the cops will off me.  So I keep going, I work for them, and it all just gets worse.”

It's a situation Shatterbird can very likely relate to, but she's perpetuating it and making Mimi suffer like she did. No sympathy, no helping someone get through it and avoid the pitfalls she fell into, she's dragging other people down with her like a crab in a pot. Worth noting that I believe she's still bitter about the hand she was dealt even if she's embraced where it led her to, she remembers how horrible it was to be forced into everything and she does not care if she inflicts it on others.

But if someone else willingly joins the Nine, she takes it personally. Cherie says Shatterbird hates her, and that's because Cherie chooses the life Shatterbird was locked into. She's bitter that she never had that choice, and so she makes sure Cherie understands what it's like by chasing her for days for her test, not allowing any rest or sleep. However, this could also simply because Cherie sucks and is an unpleasant person to talk to, and Shatterbird is stuck-up.

Another thing I like is Shatterbird's appearance of knowledge and elegance. She's trying to appear put together, confident, in-control, and to be fair she does a pretty good job, her costume and theming are great. But under that is someone violent and angry, she's keeping up appearances to everyone else but also to herself. The fact that she's always trying to keep up appearances, even when locked in a room and doomed to die with one Witness (haha get it) she's trying to make it look like she was calm and in control when her body is found, is what 100% convinces me exploding Britain was an accident. The Tattletale clone calls her out, and to me it seems like another attempt to seem in control by framing it as deliberate.

Anyway, my attempts to woobify a mass murderer aside, I also like that she was a spoiled rich kid before all this and her prim asshole attitude points to that. She quotes Edgar Allen Poe, she reads because it makes her feel better than others, she's just so pretentious and unpleasant and to be clear I love this as a character trait, it's fun and leads to her speaking in overdramatic ways.

“Then you should know, nearly-Tattletale, that I’ve spent too long in the company of monsters to be scared by words.”

She thinks she was soooo cool saying that.

I also want to look at the last few weeks of her life. She spends so much effort propping herself up as great and in control, only to be locked in a box and puppeted around against her will. Genuinely I cannot think of anything more humiliating and agonizing for her to endure. She has nothing to do but think as she's used as a marionette.

She had a long time to reflect on her life, to look back at how she got here and what she regrets.

But I think she spent it stewing in her rage, itching and planning to get violent revenge and keep hurting others to be respected. She's unwilling and unable to go back, she'll double down on this forever because this is who she is now. And because 99% of characterization for Shatterbird isn't in Worm anyway, I may as well toss in this minor AU summary by Wildbow. If she escaped, she would have started her own version of the Nine with Damsel of Distress and Trickster. There is nothing left to sympathize with or redeem Shatterbird by the time we see her in canon, she's simply past that point. Side note but Shatterbird + Damsel of Distress + Trickster as a team is perhaps the funniest combo ever and I really wish those 3 fuckers got to interact in canon. Weirdo assholes who dress up fancy and have a taste for theatrics as a murder crew, we were robbed.

I could analyze the Hookwolf interlude but I don't want to. I'm very annoyed that Shatterbird (still no first name) is the only member of the Nine to lose the fight against her recruit instead of appearing terrifying and unstoppable. How come Burnscar can solo Faultline's crew but 3 nazis can take out Shatterbird, who has way more experience? It's pretty uncomfortable to have the only member of the Nine who isn't white be the one that loses to nazis, while one calls her a slur in his internal monologue, in the interludes where everyone else on her team is introduced as a force of nature. I think we should just collectively agree to make this interlude not canon and un-retcon the Witness interlude. While I'm on the topic it's also a bit questionable to have Sophia and Shatterbird (no first name. I am annoyed by this) as the only named capes puppeted by Regent?

But that's not the topic I wanna explore. The topic is that Shatterbird is a great character and I wish that she had depth in the story itself rather than scattered through 20 different sources, because she's legitimately my favorite non-undersider in the story. There is a lot of potential to explore her, one could interpret her backstory in a less charitable way than I did just for an example, and I really think she's neat! She takes hurting someone in an accident and then becoming the monster people see her as, something we see a few times throughout worm, to its ultimate conclusion in terms of scale. That alongside her outer layer of intellectualism and pretentiousness, which I'm a massive sucker for as a trait, and she's just perfect. Did nothing wrong (citation needed). I love her and I do hope that at least some of the stuff written her makes someone appreciate her character more.

Ok! That was... 2.2k words about Shatterbird (no first name). Woo! If some stuff seems inconsistent between paragraphs here, it's probably because I wrote this in chunks over the course of a few weeks and my feelings at the time can influence my interpretation of things and my writing to feel different when read all at once and compared. If you think I'm woobifying her too much, cool. I think it makes her more compelling to examine how much we know was her fault and how much she shouldn't be blamed for, and making her have less agency makes her more tragic which I always like. If you actually read this to the end, thank you! Have a nice day!

[glorious-sunset]

How Immortals age in cdramas – clues from LBFAD

Many of our favourite cdramas sweep us into the beautiful fantasy world of the Xianxia genre, where immortal beings live for thousands of years! But they look so young?! How does ageing work for these lucky immortals in terms of human appearance? LBFAD (Love Between Fairy and Devil) gives us a few clues about this mysterious process!

Details are below, but in a nutshell, immortal beings grow quickly in childhood then the appearance of ageing slows down and stops! Sometimes their hair turns white when they are drained of energy making them look older than they should! For spirits who have cultivated from plant or animal form, it works differently as they transform directly into adult human form :) I created a graph of the immortal ageing process vs. human appearance based on clues from LBFAD (appears further down, yes I am a math nerd and proud :D ).

Young child

Our first clue to the mysteries of immortal ageing is Changheng, who was a few hundred years old during the Battle of Two Tribes (30,000 years ago) and is described as having been only a young boy at that time (let’s say around 7). Babies born to immortal parents mature (relatively) quickly into young children over a few hundred years, but ageing slows down after that.

Shangque was also a young boy when he was orphaned and rescued by a young DongFang QingCang (DFQC). Since Shangque describes DFQC as like a brother to him, they are likely of a similar age and DFQC was also a young boy at that time - both a few hundred years old.

Pre-teen

Shangque says that he has served DFQC for 38,000 years since DFQC saved him (in ep. 17). For the last 30,000 of those, DFQC was imprisoned in Haotian tower. Therefore, DFQC had been aged just over 8,000 years during the Battle of the Two Tribes - rough guess 8,500 – 9,000 years old since he was a young boy when he saved Shangque. The Battle of Two Tribes occurred soon after killing his father* and physically, his appearance was of an 11-year-old at that time (the actor was 11 during filming).

At this time, Xunfeng’s appearance was of a 9-year-old (actor was 9), and his age probably around 5,000 years old (based on graph below :D )

Xiao Lanhua’s (XLH) first life with her parents in the beautiful mountains of Xishan was also cut short when she was the same age as DFQC entering Haotian Tower. Her actress was also 11 during the tragic massacre of her tribe, and she began a new life as a little orchid flower spirit hidden in the mortal realm.

(*We know that the Battle of Two Tribes occurred soon after the death of DFQC’s father because XLH tells his father’s spirit in ep. 17 that 30,000 years have passed since his death).

Early 20s

The immortals Xunfeng, DFQC and Changheng have the appearance of young men aged 21, 22 and 23 (the age of their actors during filming) and represent the early 20s demographic in human appearance! 30,000 years have now passed and their immortal ages are around 35,000 for Xunfeng, 30,500 for Changheng, and 39,000 years for DFQC. (Sadly for DFQC, his body had been unconscious over these 30,000 years while imprisoned in Haotian tower, but his disembodied spirit had stayed conscious and pounded on the Haotian matrix every day.)

Thus immortals aged 30,000 to 40,000 years seem to take on the appearance of humans in their early 20s. Wouldn’t it be great to stay 21 for thousands of years?! :D

Early 30s

The ages of most of the other characters are unknown, but we have one more clue from an older immortal! We know that Supreme Liyuan is aged over 80,000 years, as he tells “Changheng” in ep. 12 that he is over 50,000 years older than him, and Changheng himself is aged ~30,500 years. Physically, Liyuan’s human appearance is mostly that of a 33-year-old man (the age of his actor during filming). What is strange about his appearance is his hair, which had turned white during the Battle of Two Tribes and never recovered – more on this phenomenon further down.

The Immortal ageing process

Based on the clues LBFAD gave us, here is my take on the ageing process for immortal beings born to immortal parents. Plant spirits, and animal spirits (mentioned in the novel but not the drama) that cultivate into human form are discussed separately below.

Hair turning white

We sometimes see the hair of immortals turning white when they are drained of their energy and cultivation. It happens to three immortals in LBFAD. The first is Ronghao – he uses up half of his cultivation to heal Changheng in ep. 13. His face and lips drain of blood and his hair starts to turn white.

DFQC’s hair also turned white during the Battle of Two Tribes. First he was weakened by his battle with Lady Chidi, then Lord Dong, Supreme Liyuan and the entire High Council of Shuiyuntian ganged up on him, separating his body and spirit and imprisoning both with the Haotian matrix. It also turns white when he is possessed by Taisui in ep. 36.

Back to Supreme Liyuan. Along with the others in the Heavenly High Council, he poured his spiritual energy into creating the powerful magical seal of the Haotian matrix 30,000 years ago. Liyuan is one of Lord Dong’s peers, and he and Lord Dong likely worked especially hard to seal DFQC. The process was so draining for Lord Dong that he has been in seclusion since then, leaving his son Yunzhong in charge. Liyuan managed to stay out of seclusion but his hair hasn’t been the same since! It used to be black during the scenes where he enters fatherhood but now seems to be permanently white. (Assuming Danyin and Jieli were born shortly before the Battle of Two Tribes, this would make them around Changheng’s age).

Cultivated spirits

XLH is a special case and has lived three lives in LBFAD (In her third life, she tells Changheng in ep. 35 that she remembers her previous two lives). In the first, she aged “normally” as above after being born to immortal parents. In the second and third of her lives, she cultivates directly into adult human form from a plant spirit form after cultivating for a period of time. This is what generally happens for plant and animal spirits cultivating into human form in Xianxia.

In XLH’s second life, she was an orchid plant in the mortal realm for 28,500 years or less (or so Siming told her). Time runs faster in the mortal realm, where a few hours in the immortal realm is equal to a few months in the mortal realm. Then Siming brought her to Arbiter Hall, cared for her, and she transformed into human form! At the start of LBFAD, she is 1,500 years old (as she says in ep. 2) and mentally a young girl on the brink of adulthood. She then quickly matures through the drama.

In XLH’s third life, DFQC meticulously cared for her orchid form so well every day that her transformation process is much shorter! (the drama doesn’t specify how long but it took ten years in the novel). After transforming this time, she retains the memories of her previous two lives, and is a mature and responsible goddess with the appearance of a woman in her early 20s.

Lived experience

The lived experience of both DFQC and XLH was interrupted early. DFQC was aged only ~9,000 years when he was imprisoned in Haotian tower. XLH was similarly aged when her tribe was massacred and she was reverted back to a plant spirit with no human form. The child actors for both were 11 during these tragic events. XLH re-emerges 1,500 years prior to the start of LBFAD, then frees DFQC in ep. 1. Thus compared with other “young” characters like Xunfeng and Changheng, their total lived experience is much less, and they are most comparable (and compatible! :D ) with each other.

Here is a link to my article: Character Names in LBFAD – Meaning and Significance

All of my LBFAD articles can be viewed with the tag #lbfad reflections (hyperlinked) and the table of contents to these is here.

[xenoblade-chronicles-brackets]

Submitted propaganda for Parting

Saw it make Music Theory for Gamers cry just hearing it for the first time.

Submitted propaganda for aBOreSSs

The first part, heard when facing the Prog Ares, is a good representation of Lao's character up to this point, and fits the battle against the mech. The second part is mechanical and straight-up intimidating, which is the Zu Pharg in a nutshell.

You're never escaping Skell options! But also who tf needs A Tragic Decision when you got this piece? This is better.

[aromantic-eight]

[id: Bungo Stray Dogs fanart of Dazai and Chuuya with their faces so close together their noses are almost touching. Dazai has a hand loosely around Chuuya's throat with his thumb hooked underneath his collar, and Chuuya has a gun pointed at the underside of Dazai's chin. end id]

same disease