#in a tragic nutshell
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what a sad beautiful tragic love affair
#agathario in a nutshell#also the bridge of sad beautiful tragic but that deserves a post of it's own#agatha harkness#rio vidal#agathario
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Not handsome like a pretty boy handsome like a warrior covered in blood for his women.
#me in a nutshell#i was born to live a tragic love story and die for the love of my life#sapphic#wlw mood#sapphic yearning#wlw community#butch lesbian#wlw concepts#wlw blog#lesbian#butchposting#wlw#butch4femme
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ah yes I'm so normal about this very specific fictional character called dust.
others: oooh that's a cool name what's it about?
me not wanting to explain Undertale then dusttale, then aus and resets all in one sentence:
"he's like batman but like does it the joker way."
"and his nemesis is joker but does it the Batman way"
#lili rambles#dusttale#dusttale in a nutshell#literally just explained the dynamic in the language they understand#just call him like... an edgy tragic goober lol
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had such a perfect gag of JC rifling through Huaisang's cupboards and finding a tupperware with a post-it-note reading "Not for cooking! :-D" on it and asking what it was only to be met with the response "da-ge's ashes"
except that like if anybody can't be cremated in mdzs it's nmj so like, well that's a perfect gag chucked away.
Like sure NHS can still say it but it's not half as funny if everybody involved knows it's not true
#mdzs#random#this is actually related to the ghost hunter modern au i just mentioned#you know when people are coping so well and so unbothered by things that it actually means they're really fucked up#yeah that's nie huaisang in this fic concept in a nutshell#i'll stop spamming about fic ideas i can't write soon i just this fic is funny and im lazy so it's tragic it wont' be#'funny' in the way deadset is funny as in everyting that is crack turns into dramedy with a splash of horror >:-(#like nhs lying to jc about him keeping his brothers ashes in his kitchen in a regualr container is kinda funny#but i want to look into and scoop out the noggin of a man who is actually doing that like what is WRONG with him#so much#sang cheng is best when nhs is deeply fucked up and jc is the rational one#while still being emotionally stunted traumatised jc
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Eithan: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?
#this is eithan in a nutshell#first off he's a vain little bitch#second: he is broken over his failure that got so many arelius (+ their monarch) killed#not to mention his work as oz#anyway. silly tragic character. my fav#cradle series#eithan arelius#ozmanthus arelius#ozriel#incorrect cradle quotes
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@the-crow-binary <.<
#not even tagging this one#i wanted to make a funny meme but it looks like a post-modern shitpost#paint.jpg#anyway my fic in a nutshell#isaac most tragic cv villain etc etc
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youtube
#good news everypony I'm hurting myself this fine morning actually#kestrel :handshake: rogue: this song#glanced back at my names meta and started thinking abt#the way that rogue's powers activating when they did puts such a strong boundary on her childhood#something something you need to love your inner child so bad it makes you look stupid#also something about. cutting off the part of you that did believe they deserved better. that had been innocent and happy.#rogue's tragic backstory being such a normal tragedy until the moment it's _not_ makes me--#also just. hippie commune. I know that girl had flowers woven in her hair that she crushed into tangles playing I just know it#used to be able to run barefoot. used to not think twice about being held and cared for. that's just. childhood in a nutshell. isn't it.#&. unfortunately i got two left feet .& (playlist)#Youtube
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Baldur's Gate 3 Companion Romances in a nutshell because I've been playing the game and I have brain rot
Karlach: Haha, if we focus on how much we love each other the sense of impending doom might go away what inevitable tragic ending kiss me again lover!
Minthara: Help! She's breaking me faster than I can fix her!
Astarion: Hey baby, lemme just get close to you so you'll never let me get hurt, you're such a useful pawn wait a minute what the fuck no I wasn't SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY LIKE YOU WHAT-
Gale: Protecting your cringefail boyfriend from his abusive ex.
Lae'zel: A tsundere who will actually fucking kill you, now with cult deprogramming.
Shadowheart: Enemies to friends to lovers, now with cult deprogramming.
Wyll: Protecting your cringefail boyfriend from his predatory business contract.
Halsin: Hippie Johnny Bravo.
#incorrect super smash bros#Baldur's Gate#Baldur's Gate 3#BG3#Karlach#Minthara#Astarion#Gale#Lae'zel#Shadowheart#Wyll#Halsin#meme#funny#joke#nutshell
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@themoistplinth honestly the only reason that the kids don't have jenny regularly run decoy when they're trying to steal shit from giles is because they don't know her well enough to understand that 1) she would absolutely help them with this and 2) she would think it extremely funny. willow talks buffy and xander out of asking because the Feminist Implications of using giles's girlfriend as sexy bait would totally offend ms. calendar, an Evolved Modern Woman, but the reality is that jenny would do it and do it with aplomb simply because she loves unbuttoning like one (1) button of her blouse and watching giles subsequently pour hot tea directly onto his own shoes
the scoobies can manipulate jenny using giles too it’s just that it takes them longer to figure out how to do it because you gotta do it right. “giles said you were super hot” won’t do shit but “giles is trying to learn how to program for you” will have her bluescreening so hard that she WILL NOT notice xander and willow stealing half her technopagan books so that they can figure out how to exorcise the second demon giles accidentally put in the internet (they know dad is gonna get eviscerated by his girlfriend if she finds out about this one)
#replies#miscellany#calendiles#jenny calendar#she doesn't give a shit what the kids are doing if it means she gets free range to torment her husband#like. if they're stealing shit from him and he doesn't notice#that only reinforces how nuts he is about her. which she loves#tragically the kids DO NOT KNOW that they have a co-conspirator RIGHT THERE#which is really. jenny's position in the gang in a nutshell#do y'all not know she loves you............
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My Thoughts & Spoilers On Jude's Route
This will contain detailed major route spoilers. If you do not want to be spoiled, please move on because I will not be filtering my review. Also, not all spoilers and details are being shared. This is intentional. Bear in mind this is written prior to my thoroughly translating his route, so the translation may have some adjustments to this information.
So, I really LOVED it!! It's a very good storyline. Am I biased? Yes. However, whether you're romantically interested in Jude or not, I feel like you'll like in route in general. I do highly recommend reading his and Ellis' Past Records before his route if you can. His route does bring up clips from PR, but it's very minimal and there's a lot of context and extra details in PR that you don't get in this MS. I did my best with this, but my thoughts are still every where, so if it doesn't make sense. My bad.
Tropes: Enemies to Lovers....of sorts?, Slow-burn. Key Side Villain Characters: Ellis, Nica, Victor New Side Characters For His Route: Theodore Walker, Gilbert Murphy, Oswald Simmons Love Language: Physical Touch (I'd just like to say that I called this.) Who Falls in Love First: Kate First Kiss: Kate Kisses Jude First Full Snu-Snu: Chapter 24 Both Premium ends Jude's Fate Tragic End: He will die bearing a grudge against/hating the world. Route CW: Violence, Smoking, CA, Neglect, Mentions of a child's death. Jude's Age: 28-30. Jude's Heritage: Irish-British Jude's Curse: 13th Fairy (An endless cycle of hatred) Jude's Fated End: To die with a hatred/resentment against the world.
Plot: In a nutshell, Kate is trying to find one good thing to like about Jude prior to her term of FTK (fairytale keeper) ending, as per their first promise made together. If she finds one, Jude must fulfill any one request she has. Amidst working for both Crown and Raven, Kate tries to come into her own in terms of standing as Jude's equal, seeing the world as he does, and essentially saving him from not only own his death wish, but from being framed for treason against their country.
My thoughts: Jude's route is very lively, it's got a healthy amount of funny moments, action packed moments, and it's quite wholesome overall. However, it still retains some darkness in the sense of his past, and the fact that he's literally on this tightrope of life and death.
Kate: She is not afraid of voicing her thoughts and feelings, or speaking sarcastically to Jude. I almost died when I read that she stuck her tongue out at him LOL. There's this scene where Ellis tells her she's thinking out loud when she doesn't realize it, so she apologizes. A few minutes later after she greets Theodore, she sees Jude behind him:
Kate: ....And thanks for your hard work too, Jude. Jude: Can ya please stop greet me so sourly? Makes me wanna vomit my mornin' tea. Kate: I wonder if I'm under a curse that'll kill me if I don't say something sarcastically...
So, she is very courageous and gutsy, but she also thinks things through. There are times where she wants to act because she loves Jude and wants to be there for him, but she also knows not to act rashly because her movements can hurt him and Crown, so she opts to bide her time instead.
Out of all of her versions, I think she is the one who gets the most frustrated, the most angry, and laughs the most at certain situations such as getting locked in the office with Jude. She is very optimistic and kind, but not saintly kind.
She is a fighter. She learns self-defense and how to use a gun, a lot this takes place off screen, but she does develop this over time. Which is nice because it's more realistic.
Jude & Kate Relationship: Starts off very rough, and I say it's an enemies to lovers trope, but no one actually hates the other person, they simply don't get a long and it has that vibe. Jude is trying to kick her out of Crown, and Kate is trying to find something she likes about him.
Overall, they bicker and banter a lot. It's cute because in MLE Kate says, "If I say one thing, he has 10 things to say", and in BLE Jude says, "If I say one thing, she's got 10 things to say." They're adorable together.
One scene I loved was when Jude is being attacked by a group of thugs in his office after closing hours, and Kate barges in with her gun. She yells at the men to stop what they're doing, and then she tells Jude to step away from them. And so, Jude and Kate are having this full blown conversation as they're surrounded by these thugs as to why she is at his office, who's fault it is, etc, etc. And when the head thug starts to complain, both Jude and Kate say, "Shut up!" at the same time. This seems like it actually becomes a thing for them, they say it in MLE as well.
Were they childhood friends? No. That was an AU thing only, and a clever misdirection from Cybird. I think key take aways from Dark IF and Prison IF are that they made promises to each other, and that Kate tries to return to little Jude in Prison IF. Additionally, it does hint that two children were involved in Jude's past, just the other wasn't Kate, it's his sister. While some may be disappointed by this, I loved that it turned out this way, it surprised me.
Love Language: Physical. Touch. Lemme say it again. Physical Touch. While their relationship is a slow burn, it's not without it's tension along the way, and the pay off is hella worth in my opinion. I just knew that Jude was going to tear into her, and he does.
But more importantly, Jude touches Kate a lot especially before missions. For example, in BLE just before Kate goes undercover at a criminal organization that is using Raven products, she and Jude are in his office reviewing the plans, and while he does this, he touches her bare skin, kiss or bite her, and then after the mission he'll make love to her. Why? Because Kate made another promise to Jude earlier in the route that she would never die before him, so he doesn't have to suffering loss ever again. So, prior to any missions, he'll touch her up to a certain point like a promise she won't die, and then finish once she returns safely. I can't...he's so damn precious.
They love each other very very much, but Jude doesn't like saying the words. "I love you." Not because he's a tsun, but because they're easily said. So, he'll convey his love to Kate with words like, "I'm taking you to hell with me." If you read his side stories, he'll tell you just how much he loves her, and he admits that there is no other woman in the world that he could ever love like her.
Important Side Characters: Theodore Walker: 21 y/o and he works in the sales department at Raven. Every one calls him Theo, even Kate. It seems that he's worked for Jude for a long time as well. He's very personable, and chatty, and he gets nervous about things like when the president forgets his custom fountain pen as he's on his way to business meetings. He even says to Kate and Jude that Kate is his type, and everyone is like.....um what? I'm really happy that Theodore isn't a traitor. I like him. I thought Cybird would use him the way that contract worker in Jude's first story event would be used. But no, he's just a loyal young man who cares about his job. I hope to see him again.
Oswald Simmons: He is the doctor who treated Jude and his sister after Jude memorized an entire medical textbook in a week. After Jude's sister was sold off, Jude ran to Oswald and asked that if he put Jude through school, let him lodge with him and provide him food, then Jude would pay him back with interest. Oswald agrees and in time, Jude does pay him back with interest. Oswald treats everyone equally, and he finds Jude's intelligence and ability to memorize things amusing. While he does not offer to take Jude in of his own initiative, Oswald does have a soft spot for Jude, as he tries to gift Jude a new pocket watch upon graduation and the success of his new company. He even tries to dissuade Jude from seeking revenge that will only force Jude into be lonely. In the route, he tells Kate to relay a message to Jude, that if he ever gets into a pinch to comeback and he'll give Jude a run for his money. To this day, Oswald still has the watch that Jude refused to take.
I honestly, hope that they reunite one day. Jude doesn't wish Oswald any ill-will (though he calls him a weirdo), and he wished Oswald a long life when he said goodbye.
Gilbert Murphy: He is a high-ranking officer of the British military who colludes with the Privy Council and a criminal organization to frame Jude treason and building military weapons. However, Gilbert truly does think that Jude is going to the moon for monetary purposes. While he is being an asshole for framing my beloved, his motives are to protect the people from potential weapons that can be created with Jude's research. Still, it's sullying Jude's innocent and pure motives. Still, he testifies in Jude's favor and takes the blame of the dead privy council member, as his own form of justice for trying to frame Jude due to his becoming blinded by his obsession to protect his country.
The other villains: Ellis: Ellis is Jude's right hand so he is heavily involved with the plot, especially in MLE. We know about Ellis.
Nica: Darius asks him to investigate Jude, so he does. Twice, he offers information to Jude that he's gathered after he lets him know he's aware of what he's building.. The first time, he tells him that a part from the criminal organization Jude has already been dealing with, the British military want his plans too. And wouldn't it be something if they teamed up to get Jude's research. He asks if he can snatch the robin away from Jude, but Jude says she doesn't belong to him, and no matter whom she dated she belongs to herself.
Nica leaves the bar after getting scolded by Jude, but prior to that, he tells Jude that the robin is in the most danger because she's around him. A few chapters later, Nica appears again and tells Jude that his assumptions based on the previous information given have come true, and because he didn't let go (of Kate), he's letting her know the facts. After he explains the situation to her, he tries to whisk her away on a date, but Kate declines. While Nica is a "playboy", it seems that he does care for Kate's well-being.....I am letting my current knowledge of his past events, and bond stories influence me by saying this.
At any rate, at the end of BLE, Darius asks Nica why he follows his orders so complicitly, and Nica says it's because he's on the winning side, and to him, Darius will be or is the winner. Darius is satisfied with this, and when he leaves Nica looks at his palm and says that he will be the happiest someday. It's already been established that becoming the happiest person is important to him, but this has now been reinforced.
Victor: Lore crumbs are very little, but what we do know is that when Kate asks him if he is angry, he tells her that he's forgotten loneliness a long time ago.
Further, when he approaches Jude and asks if Jude is hiding something from him and Crown, he tells Jude he has the means to help him. Jude asks if Victor isn't the one hiding something, and remarks that's why Harrison hates him so much because he knows he is lying. Victor simply smiles and stays silent. Upon leaving his study, Victor does tell Jude no matter what, he doesn't want their freedom disturbed and those are his true feelings.
Further, Victor later tells Kate in the BLE that when Jude says he abuses his power, Jude wasn't lying about that. Later in chapter 24, all of Crown are gathered together in front of her Majesty the Queen for a very important meeting. Victor speaks saying that they wish to grant Kate the position of fairytale keeper permanently, and when Jude finds out, he leaves angrily. In the middle of all this, the Queen never utters a word.
I don't think we learn anything new that we weren't aware of before with Victor to be honest, unless I missed something while reading. But, it's nice to know that we should see something big for his route. We better for how under wraps his lore is kept.
Jude's age: He can't be any older than 30 because in his Past Records he definitively says that he is five years old. In the MS, Oswald states the events he recounted to Roger and Kate took place over 20 years ago. Kate reason's that if it was 20 years ago then Jude had to be under the age of 10. I think he's 28-30.
Jude's Curse: Jude's curse was born when his heart was completely broken, and he vowed to get revenge on those who made him and his sister suffer. It's manifestation was described as a black flame of hatred in his heart. Essentially, Jude has entered a vicious cycle of hatred that never really ceases. Jude fuels this cycle by acting in a way where people want to get revenge on him, and a part of that is because he want's to die.
Jude's Fated End: Jude is fated to die bearing a grudge/resentment/hatred against the world. Jude himself says that his death will not be an honest one. Some have made comments that his fated end is a bit underwhelming, but I am pleased that Cybird left Disney alone, and stuck with Grimm's ending for the 13th fairy. I love it because no one knows what the fairy was thinking or what happened to it, it just simply disappears. This is something that is mentioned quite a bit in Jude's route.
In the MS there is a beautiful chapter with all of Crown gathered for a fireworks beach day, and while Jude is looking at the fireworks, Kate is looking at him. She thinks he is like a firework, beautiful, dangerous if you get too close, and then simply gone.
In BLE, Kate watches a Sleeping Beauty play hosted by local town children where she is staying and even though she knows that the outcome of the fairy is unknown, she is hoping for a different outcome. When the kids stick to the fairytale, it's then she realizes that Jude too - while still stuck in his cycle of hatred - will die. He will never know happiness, and disappear like the burnt body of cigarette smoke, like a firework in the sky.
In chapter 18ish, while Jude is being held captive and being tortured by the British military for information on Crown, he laughs self-mockingly and says that this is the perfect fit for him to die bearing resentment/grudge against the world.
Is Kate Trying to find a way to break the curse? No. Unlike Alfons and Roger's route, Kate is willing to accept Jude's fate, stay by him, make him happy and be his reason to live. That is her sole purpose, to make sure he doesn't die. Kate is obsessed with keeping him anchored to the world no matter the cost, and she even mentions to Victor that even though no fated ends have ever been avoided, that doesn't necessarily mean they are tragic.
Is Jude happy by the end of the route: Yes. Though he won't admit it out loud being the tsun tsun that he is, Jude's first glimpse of happiness occured when he told Kate about his dream and she didn't laugh at him. By the time he puts her to sleep and leaves her behind, he tells her that being genuinely liked wasn't so bad. And of course, Ellis asks if he can kill Jude in his BLE epilogue because it's obvious that he's happy......Jude tells him he can go die, and Ellis is like okay okay. FR though E, I need you to calm TF down.
The depth of his love for her is so great that he tells her that if she ever tries to run from him, she should just kill him. The reason is because she is his only happiness - she is the moon that he's been trying to reach for so long. He'd have no reason to live if she left him.....
Hmmm, here are some of my favorite parts in his route:
He tries so hard to protect Kate, from throwing her out of a window when a house is on fire and telling her she died in that fire so she wouldn't have to return to Crown, to lying to her and accusing her of making a 10,000 £ mistake and firing her from Raven, and other things.
I love that he even assigned people to watch her secretly after he's left her behind in a seaside town, with the intention of doing so for a long time since she is known throughout London for said involvement with Jude. He says things like, if she can live a calm, normal life, then that's enough for me. So, he's resigned to love her from afar.
He does everything in his power to protect even Crown from getting involved with his research so they aren’t crushed and hated by the privy council or others, even undergoing brutal torture.
Jude promises to make Kate the happiest he can before they go to hell, and there are many, many more things he does to endear me even more to him. I nearly cried when he introduced Kate to his sister at her grave he had made for her, saying she (his unnamed sister), was the only family he had left.
Even though he knows his dream of going to the moon is going to be difficult, he is more determined than ever to achieve it, because he's got two promises to keep.
Ultimately, we have our teasing Jude and Kate kicking ass together, and loving each other until their ends come.
Ugh, I'm gonna make myself cry. Well, this is it in a nutshell. Sorry for rambling!
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do you think severus’ star sign matched with how his character written in the series?
Ahhhhhh love this ask i’m a total sucker for comparing characters with their astrology signs lol that’s why i know Lavender, the Patils and I would’be been besties lol
An yeah, totally, absolutely, Severus is honestly an amazing representario of a Capricorn man in fiction, and the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. Capricorns are known for being ambitious, determined, and willing to endure endless struggles if it means achieving their goals — and that’s Snape in a nutshell. His whole life is about pushing through hardship, driven by a mission only he fully understands. Like a true Capricorn, he doesn’t care about recognition or validation; he does what needs to be done because he feels it’s his responsibility. His entire existence is defined by a deep sense of duty, even when it costs him everything.
Capricorns are also ruled by Saturn, the planet of discipline, hard work, and lessons learned through struggle. Severus’ life is practically Saturn’s favorite tragic story: he makes a horrible mistake in his youth, pays for it in ways he never imagined, and spends the rest of his life trying to atone — not because he expects forgiveness, but because he knows it’s the right thing to do. He’s strict, methodical, and deeply committed, just like a Capricorn climbing an endless mountain, knowing the climb itself is what defines them.
Then there’s the classic Capricorn emotional front: cold, distant, and harsh on the outside, but secretly carrying the weight of an ocean of feelings. Severus never lets anyone see his true emotions unless it’s absolutely necessary. His feelings for Lily is one of the most defining aspects of his character, but he keeps it locked away, never using it as a way to gain sympathy or attention. Capricorns feel everything intensely but refuse to show vulnerability unless they trust you completely — and trust is something Snape doesn’t give easily, if at all.
Even his sarcastic, cutting sense of humor fits the Capricorn archetype. They’re known for their dry wit and sharp tongues, especially when stressed or forced to deal with people they consider incompetent (looking at you, Harry or Neville in Potions class). Snape’s high standards and intolerance for laziness or foolishness are classic Capricorn traits. He expects excellence because he holds himself to the same impossible standard. And they HATE lazy or dumb people.
#severus snape#pro severus snape#pro snape#severus snape defense#severus snape fandom#Severus snape imagines#severus snape headcanons#capricorn#capricorn man
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alright its been a couple days, it's time to get back on my fadel soap box
i've been thinking about this since even before this episode, but it's actually heartbreaking to me the way that fadel refuses to accept help. like obviously style is annoying in many, many ways, but i don't think it's a coincidence that even when he's trying to be helpful, fadel still insists he doesn't need it. the promo for the restaurant, sure, he obviously he doesn't want that many customers in the first place when they're undercover, but it's like even when he's struggling and bison is nowhere to be found, he still fights style on helping him and insists he doesn't need it.
and it's like. god if that just isn't fadel in a nutshell. constantly carrying all this weight and refusing to let anyone help. and i just keep thinking about his ex lover and what happened to him was surely tragic no matter what it was. and like... their mother knows, sure, but does bison? i have to assume bison has no idea that fadel ever loved anyone and lost them, because if he did, how could he possibly look fadel in the eyes and claim he doesn't have a heart?
like bison knows he goes to a support group for loss, but does he have any fucking idea what that's for? did he ever stop to wonder? i'm sure bison cares about fadel, but it's so clear how much he overlooks as the little brother. and sure, part of it is because fadel is making sure he doesn't see any of it, trying to shield bison from his own pain and from experiencing that pain for himself, but god part of it has to also because bison is selfish. and yes, it makes sense that he is, he clearly doesn't want to be doing this, he's made that clear so many times, he wants a life of his own, but he's so laser focused on what he wants and the fact that fadel is the one enforcing all these rules, that he never takes the step back to see how much fadel does for him, or how much fadel is hurt by these things too.
and it's so heartbreaking because for fadel, bison is the person he cares about the most, but to bison, fadel is seen more like an obstacle. someone he has to try and get out of his way. and it's gonna be sooo heartbreaking when fadel finally does let someone else help him carry that weight with style only to find out that not only did it start off disingenuous, but that bison is the one that put him up to it.
#i adore bison but i fear every episode just makes me more angry with him about the way he treats fadel i fear skdhfdskjfh#his cute face really blinds so many to his flaws#the heart killers#fadel#fadelstyle#fadelbison#my analysis#mine
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I JUST CAME UP WITH THE BEST IDEA-
Okay so for a WHILE I’ve wanted to write six of crows fanfiction, specifically centered around Kaz’s haphephobia and how deeply him and Inej care for eachother. I kept putting it off bc I was busy or I wanted to avoid the curse or whatever-
BUT recently Sailor Song came out and the line: “I don’t believe in god but I believe that you’re my savior” IS LITERALLY KANEJ IN A NUTSHELL
And so as I was scrolling through my collection of grishaverse TikToks (500+ and counting), I decided: why not finally write the fanfic AND TITLE IT “I don’t believe in god but I believe that you’re my savior”
It’s gonna be tragic, I’m so excited
#six of crows#grishaverse#kaz brekker#kaz rietveld#inej ghafa#kanej#kanej and zoyalai two of the most iconic ships: both a head over heels white boy w his suli queen#fanfic#sailor song#I don’t believe in god but I believe thay you’re my savior
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Hey, can I hear about your shatterbird thoughts? She's always been my favourite member of the nine :]
[@faultlinescrew]
Oh I'm about to type for entirely too long.
Alright so a chunk of this is kinda headcanon, but any of that is fully based on canon. I had a giant fanfic planned that was literally an expanded telling of Shatterbird's life from trigger to death, and some plot points there may bleed into this unconsciously.
Number one favorite thing about Shatterbird is that initially, she did nothing wrong. She was unwillingly dosed with a Cauldron vial, and her scream and subsequent exploding of Dubai wasn't her fault. She had no intention to hurt anyone, it was done entirely out of her control as she gained powers and she should not be blamed for her first time destroying a city. The thing is, that doesn't matter in universe. She's still going to be hunted down by countless capes because she killed an untold number of people with that scream. No one's going to just let her go because it wasn't her fault, because she's the only person who can be blamed. People want revenge for their loved ones, and I'm willing to bet that she had a sizable bounty. It's similar to the situation we see with Rachel, where she can't have a normal life because she killed someone in her trigger and her identity is public, but on a much much larger scale.
I think the guilt ate at her so fucking bad at first. She killed her dad, her friends, her sister, her mother, countless others, and as much as it wasn't her fault she's still the one that did it. There's no way she doesn't blame herself for what happened, but when does she even have time to mourn? She's fled to a desert, she's gotta be struggling with food and water, and she's being hounded at every turn by people who want her dead. What's she supposed to do, let them kill her so she can atone for what she did or something?
I just love what a tragic backstory this is. She's one of the most horrible people we meet in canon, and I don't think it's unreasonable to say she has one of the highest body counts on Earth Bet, but she started as someone innocent and desperately trying to survive. And as much as I love this backstory and will defend to the death that she did nothing wrong at this point, it doesn't excuse who she becomes.
Shatterbird laughed. “There’s only two ways to recover from something of that magnitude, to deal with the fact that you inadvertently killed thousands and thousands of people, and hospitalized twice that many. You break, or you become it.”
(quote is from the missing interlude)
This is the quote that puts her entire character in a nutshell. The biggest question to me is... when did she become it? She implies in that interlude that it was rather quick, and that she went to Britain so she could hit a big target, but the Tattletale clone calls this out as a lie. She was running, the desert that she'd been in for months was unbearably loud with all that sand, and I think she was sick of living on the run. She wanted society, structure, something to make her feel human. I think she's full of shit saying she went there to destroy it, some accident or desperate confrontation occurred (timeline fits well enough for it to be a result of the Simurgh's attack, but that's just one possibility) and she broke London just as bad as she broke Dubai. What do you even do from there? Any slim hope of clearing her name is gone, she just has to keep running and try to ignore the guilt. And she ran to America, where the Slaughterhouse Nine found her.
The recruiting of people by the Slaughterhouse Nine fascinates me, because most are unwilling to join at first. Unfortunately the alternative is to die. No one in Brockton Bay was jumping to be the lucky winner, and the only people we know nominated themselves are Cherish and I think Siberian. Shatterbird (ever notice how she's the only S9 member with no canon first name? drives me nuts) was dragged into the recruitment process with no say in the matter just like most everyone is. Someone in the Nine found her, thought she would be a good fit because of London and Dubai (and how would that feel, to have someone on the S9 see you as just as bad as them?) and even if she explains that was on accident... what does it matter? It never matters that it was an accident. It never will matter. It's just something that she can tell herself to keep her sane.
So she's doing the fun little tests, I'm actually very curious how she altered herself for Mannequin's since he always does the same test, she's a very vain person, but that's off topic. Atrocities, horrors, being hunted by the Siberian, and suddenly she's at the end. Her and someone else.
“That’s not really a test,” Shatterbird spoke, “There hasn’t been a round of testing since I joined the group where we didn’t whittle it down to one candidate.” “We could forego the final test, pitting them against one another.” Shatterbird turned to him, “Ah. But, again, the last test where we had to go that far was… mine?”
And she kills them. Dubai, London, those were accidents. This was on purpose, maybe even the first time she's done it on purpose. She could either break and decide she couldn't live with herself as a member of the nine, or she could just as horrible as everyone sees her. All her choices were rigged, there was never much of an opportunity to get better since so many paths closed off to her, but she voluntarily chooses to get worse. What's the point in holding on to the fact that it wasn't her fault at the beginning? She's never escaping what she did, so she'll become the monster everyone sees her as. You break, or you become it.
And there's not much of the more sympathetic side of Shatterbird in canon (partly because her backstory chapter was removed). She's fully embraced herself as a mass murderer. She revels in the attention, the fear. She parrots Jack's philosophy as a way to feel better about what she's doing, and eventually she doesn't need to feel better because she enjoys who she is now.
I don't know, I rambled for a while there but it boils down to me being fascinated by the circumstances of her gaining powers, and the shift from innocent but hated/feared to making damn sure that fear is justified.
Ok, so moving on from the backstory analysis, other miscellaneous details. Fuck it, I'm putting every thought I have on Shatterbird in this post.
She's the Nine's primary recruiter! Woo, good for her. Notably, she recruits Burnscar. Mimi is in a similar position to Shatterbird's past self with the whole involuntary mass destruction, although on a lesser scale (it'll always be on a lesser scale, Shatterbird has the worst trigger event out there in terms of consequences and she didn't even trigger). Mimi was on the streets and trying not to use her power, and Shatterbird scooped her up into the Nine.
“I- before I knew it, the Slaughterhouse Nine had found me. Shatterbird recruited me. And now I’m stuck. I’m trapped. You know there’s a kill order out on me? If I try to quit, either the Nine or the cops will off me. So I keep going, I work for them, and it all just gets worse.”
It's a situation Shatterbird can very likely relate to, but she's perpetuating it and making Mimi suffer like she did. No sympathy, no helping someone get through it and avoid the pitfalls she fell into, she's dragging other people down with her like a crab in a pot. Worth noting that I believe she's still bitter about the hand she was dealt even if she's embraced where it led her to, she remembers how horrible it was to be forced into everything and she does not care if she inflicts it on others.
But if someone else willingly joins the Nine, she takes it personally. Cherie says Shatterbird hates her, and that's because Cherie chooses the life Shatterbird was locked into. She's bitter that she never had that choice, and so she makes sure Cherie understands what it's like by chasing her for days for her test, not allowing any rest or sleep. However, this could also simply because Cherie sucks and is an unpleasant person to talk to, and Shatterbird is stuck-up.
Another thing I like is Shatterbird's appearance of knowledge and elegance. She's trying to appear put together, confident, in-control, and to be fair she does a pretty good job, her costume and theming are great. But under that is someone violent and angry, she's keeping up appearances to everyone else but also to herself. The fact that she's always trying to keep up appearances, even when locked in a room and doomed to die with one Witness (haha get it) she's trying to make it look like she was calm and in control when her body is found, is what 100% convinces me exploding Britain was an accident. The Tattletale clone calls her out, and to me it seems like another attempt to seem in control by framing it as deliberate.
Anyway, my attempts to woobify a mass murderer aside, I also like that she was a spoiled rich kid before all this and her prim asshole attitude points to that. She quotes Edgar Allen Poe, she reads because it makes her feel better than others, she's just so pretentious and unpleasant and to be clear I love this as a character trait, it's fun and leads to her speaking in overdramatic ways.
“Then you should know, nearly-Tattletale, that I’ve spent too long in the company of monsters to be scared by words.”
She thinks she was soooo cool saying that.
I also want to look at the last few weeks of her life. She spends so much effort propping herself up as great and in control, only to be locked in a box and puppeted around against her will. Genuinely I cannot think of anything more humiliating and agonizing for her to endure. She has nothing to do but think as she's used as a marionette.
She had a long time to reflect on her life, to look back at how she got here and what she regrets.
But I think she spent it stewing in her rage, itching and planning to get violent revenge and keep hurting others to be respected. She's unwilling and unable to go back, she'll double down on this forever because this is who she is now. And because 99% of characterization for Shatterbird isn't in Worm anyway, I may as well toss in this minor AU summary by Wildbow. If she escaped, she would have started her own version of the Nine with Damsel of Distress and Trickster. There is nothing left to sympathize with or redeem Shatterbird by the time we see her in canon, she's simply past that point. Side note but Shatterbird + Damsel of Distress + Trickster as a team is perhaps the funniest combo ever and I really wish those 3 fuckers got to interact in canon. Weirdo assholes who dress up fancy and have a taste for theatrics as a murder crew, we were robbed.
I could analyze the Hookwolf interlude but I don't want to. I'm very annoyed that Shatterbird (still no first name) is the only member of the Nine to lose the fight against her recruit instead of appearing terrifying and unstoppable. How come Burnscar can solo Faultline's crew but 3 nazis can take out Shatterbird, who has way more experience? It's pretty uncomfortable to have the only member of the Nine who isn't white be the one that loses to nazis, while one calls her a slur in his internal monologue, in the interludes where everyone else on her team is introduced as a force of nature. I think we should just collectively agree to make this interlude not canon and un-retcon the Witness interlude. While I'm on the topic it's also a bit questionable to have Sophia and Shatterbird (no first name. I am annoyed by this) as the only named capes puppeted by Regent?
But that's not the topic I wanna explore. The topic is that Shatterbird is a great character and I wish that she had depth in the story itself rather than scattered through 20 different sources, because she's legitimately my favorite non-undersider in the story. There is a lot of potential to explore her, one could interpret her backstory in a less charitable way than I did just for an example, and I really think she's neat! She takes hurting someone in an accident and then becoming the monster people see her as, something we see a few times throughout worm, to its ultimate conclusion in terms of scale. That alongside her outer layer of intellectualism and pretentiousness, which I'm a massive sucker for as a trait, and she's just perfect. Did nothing wrong (citation needed). I love her and I do hope that at least some of the stuff written her makes someone appreciate her character more.
Ok! That was... 2.2k words about Shatterbird (no first name). Woo! If some stuff seems inconsistent between paragraphs here, it's probably because I wrote this in chunks over the course of a few weeks and my feelings at the time can influence my interpretation of things and my writing to feel different when read all at once and compared. If you think I'm woobifying her too much, cool. I think it makes her more compelling to examine how much we know was her fault and how much she shouldn't be blamed for, and making her have less agency makes her more tragic which I always like. If you actually read this to the end, thank you! Have a nice day!
#worm#parahumans#shatterbird#long post#ramble#FUCK that was a long post#no way in hell i'm editing it#this may be incoherent#its a tragic case of so many thoughts fighting to be crammed into the post#and enthusiasm hindering quality#i shan't apologize
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How Immortals age in cdramas – clues from LBFAD
Many of our favourite cdramas sweep us into the beautiful fantasy world of the Xianxia genre, where immortal beings live for thousands of years! But they look so young?! How does ageing work for these lucky immortals in terms of human appearance? LBFAD (Love Between Fairy and Devil) gives us a few clues about this mysterious process!
Details are below, but in a nutshell, immortal beings grow quickly in childhood then the appearance of ageing slows down and stops! Sometimes their hair turns white when they are drained of energy making them look older than they should! For spirits who have cultivated from plant or animal form, it works differently as they transform directly into adult human form :) I created a graph of the immortal ageing process vs. human appearance based on clues from LBFAD (appears further down, yes I am a math nerd and proud :D ).
Young child
Our first clue to the mysteries of immortal ageing is Changheng, who was a few hundred years old during the Battle of Two Tribes (30,000 years ago) and is described as having been only a young boy at that time (let’s say around 7). Babies born to immortal parents mature (relatively) quickly into young children over a few hundred years, but ageing slows down after that.
Shangque was also a young boy when he was orphaned and rescued by a young DongFang QingCang (DFQC). Since Shangque describes DFQC as like a brother to him, they are likely of a similar age and DFQC was also a young boy at that time - both a few hundred years old.
Pre-teen
Shangque says that he has served DFQC for 38,000 years since DFQC saved him (in ep. 17). For the last 30,000 of those, DFQC was imprisoned in Haotian tower. Therefore, DFQC had been aged just over 8,000 years during the Battle of the Two Tribes - rough guess 8,500 – 9,000 years old since he was a young boy when he saved Shangque. The Battle of Two Tribes occurred soon after killing his father* and physically, his appearance was of an 11-year-old at that time (the actor was 11 during filming).
At this time, Xunfeng’s appearance was of a 9-year-old (actor was 9), and his age probably around 5,000 years old (based on graph below :D )
Xiao Lanhua’s (XLH) first life with her parents in the beautiful mountains of Xishan was also cut short when she was the same age as DFQC entering Haotian Tower. Her actress was also 11 during the tragic massacre of her tribe, and she began a new life as a little orchid flower spirit hidden in the mortal realm.
(*We know that the Battle of Two Tribes occurred soon after the death of DFQC’s father because XLH tells his father’s spirit in ep. 17 that 30,000 years have passed since his death).
Early 20s
The immortals Xunfeng, DFQC and Changheng have the appearance of young men aged 21, 22 and 23 (the age of their actors during filming) and represent the early 20s demographic in human appearance! 30,000 years have now passed and their immortal ages are around 35,000 for Xunfeng, 30,500 for Changheng, and 39,000 years for DFQC. (Sadly for DFQC, his body had been unconscious over these 30,000 years while imprisoned in Haotian tower, but his disembodied spirit had stayed conscious and pounded on the Haotian matrix every day.)
Thus immortals aged 30,000 to 40,000 years seem to take on the appearance of humans in their early 20s. Wouldn’t it be great to stay 21 for thousands of years?! :D
Early 30s
The ages of most of the other characters are unknown, but we have one more clue from an older immortal! We know that Supreme Liyuan is aged over 80,000 years, as he tells “Changheng” in ep. 12 that he is over 50,000 years older than him, and Changheng himself is aged ~30,500 years. Physically, Liyuan’s human appearance is mostly that of a 33-year-old man (the age of his actor during filming). What is strange about his appearance is his hair, which had turned white during the Battle of Two Tribes and never recovered – more on this phenomenon further down.
The Immortal ageing process
Based on the clues LBFAD gave us, here is my take on the ageing process for immortal beings born to immortal parents. Plant spirits, and animal spirits (mentioned in the novel but not the drama) that cultivate into human form are discussed separately below.
Hair turning white
We sometimes see the hair of immortals turning white when they are drained of their energy and cultivation. It happens to three immortals in LBFAD. The first is Ronghao – he uses up half of his cultivation to heal Changheng in ep. 13. His face and lips drain of blood and his hair starts to turn white.
DFQC’s hair also turned white during the Battle of Two Tribes. First he was weakened by his battle with Lady Chidi, then Lord Dong, Supreme Liyuan and the entire High Council of Shuiyuntian ganged up on him, separating his body and spirit and imprisoning both with the Haotian matrix. It also turns white when he is possessed by Taisui in ep. 36.
Back to Supreme Liyuan. Along with the others in the Heavenly High Council, he poured his spiritual energy into creating the powerful magical seal of the Haotian matrix 30,000 years ago. Liyuan is one of Lord Dong’s peers, and he and Lord Dong likely worked especially hard to seal DFQC. The process was so draining for Lord Dong that he has been in seclusion since then, leaving his son Yunzhong in charge. Liyuan managed to stay out of seclusion but his hair hasn’t been the same since! It used to be black during the scenes where he enters fatherhood but now seems to be permanently white. (Assuming Danyin and Jieli were born shortly before the Battle of Two Tribes, this would make them around Changheng’s age).
Cultivated spirits
XLH is a special case and has lived three lives in LBFAD (In her third life, she tells Changheng in ep. 35 that she remembers her previous two lives). In the first, she aged “normally” as above after being born to immortal parents. In the second and third of her lives, she cultivates directly into adult human form from a plant spirit form after cultivating for a period of time. This is what generally happens for plant and animal spirits cultivating into human form in Xianxia.
In XLH’s second life, she was an orchid plant in the mortal realm for 28,500 years or less (or so Siming told her). Time runs faster in the mortal realm, where a few hours in the immortal realm is equal to a few months in the mortal realm. Then Siming brought her to Arbiter Hall, cared for her, and she transformed into human form! At the start of LBFAD, she is 1,500 years old (as she says in ep. 2) and mentally a young girl on the brink of adulthood. She then quickly matures through the drama.
In XLH’s third life, DFQC meticulously cared for her orchid form so well every day that her transformation process is much shorter! (the drama doesn’t specify how long but it took ten years in the novel). After transforming this time, she retains the memories of her previous two lives, and is a mature and responsible goddess with the appearance of a woman in her early 20s.
Lived experience
The lived experience of both DFQC and XLH was interrupted early. DFQC was aged only ~9,000 years when he was imprisoned in Haotian tower. XLH was similarly aged when her tribe was massacred and she was reverted back to a plant spirit with no human form. The child actors for both were 11 during these tragic events. XLH re-emerges 1,500 years prior to the start of LBFAD, then frees DFQC in ep. 1. Thus compared with other “young” characters like Xunfeng and Changheng, their total lived experience is much less, and they are most comparable (and compatible! :D ) with each other.
Here is a link to my article: Character Names in LBFAD – Meaning and Significance
All of my LBFAD articles can be viewed with the tag #lbfad reflections (hyperlinked) and the table of contents to these is here.
#lbfad#love between fairy and devil#canglan jue#clj#dongfang qingcang#dfqc#xiao lanhua#xlh#cdrama#lbfad meta#cang lan jue#lbfd#lbfad reflections#cdramasource#asiandramasource#asiandramanet#dylan wang#wang hedi#yu shuxin#esther yu
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Astarion’s first bite: Vampirism in a nutshell
As a person who's spent the better part of their life consuming and analyzing various vampire media, I'd like to stop and appreciate the first time Astarion feeds from Tav. The scene, however brief, is simply delicious.
(I know it's probably already been written a thousand times all over the Internet, but I'm playing the game for the first time, let me have my fun.)
Vampire bite has been portrayed in a million different ways in popular culture. As an avid TTRPG player, I am probably the most used to the idea of Vampire the Masquerade’s ‘Kiss’: there, the act is generally intensely pleasurable for mortals, putting them in a state of daze that some even liken to orgasm, but victims retain hazy memories of it at best. It’s not unheard of for people to get addicted to the feeling and become so-called blood dolls, purposefully seeking out vampires just to experience the high again. Oh, and the bitemarks? No worries! All it takes is for the vampire to lick the wound after they're done feeding and the skin instantly heals.
I love VtM, but I'm glad this is not the case with Astarion.
The game makes a clear statement: being fed on by a vampire isn't a sexy or pleasurable thing. Even if Astarion tries to be civil about it, and Tav gives consent, this is still very much a predatory act, a physical intrusion. It's painful – like a shard of ice into your neck – and leaves the character weakened.
And Tav stays conscious for the entire time, gritting their teeth, trying to look at Astarion and figure out what exactly is happening to their neck. No haze to dull the memories, no painkillers or sedatives, no nothing. Sorry, Tav; you have to go through this acutely aware of every single sensation.
This contrasts profoundly with what the ‘pale elf’ is experiencing. While Tav feels pain and gets a very telling, brand new ugly wound, the vampire pulls away, clearly intoxicated and even incredulous. That was amazing. (...) I feel… happy!
This opposition is further emphasized by the game systems, namely the conditions the two characters receive. Tav becomes Bloodless, suffering a penalty to rolls etc. A classic victim of vampire bite: sluggish, strangely pale, with mysterious punctures on their neck… It's almost a pity we can't choose to decorate Tav’s tent with a garlic wreath.
Astarion, on the other hand, doesn't become, I don't know, Invigorated, or Sated, or Bloated As a Tick. No, the focus is again on him being… Happy. Not empowered (although he clearly is), but simply happy for the first time in gods know how long, as opposed to him being constantly on edge, on the run, and fighting for survival. He experiences a moment of bliss. This is a gift.
Thus the scene presents various facets of the vampire myth in a nutshell. Because what is a vampire? It's an animalistic monster who preys on humanity (cut to the painful wound on the neck and gritted teeth). It's a deceptively civil and charming individual, often tragic and very self aware (cut to Astarion asking for permission, saying how he's only ever fed on vermin or stating he won't forget the kindness). It's a blood junkie (cut to Astarion experiencing the rush of excitement and ‘happiness’). It's a parasite, because even if the feeding is consensual, we can clearly see which side reaps the benefits, and which is left weakened with nothing in exchange.
Oh, the complexity of the vampiric condition.
(The fact that vampiric bite is often a metaphor for sexual act isn't lost here, even if it's not the focus; it becomes more pronounced later, when Astarion reluctantly admits You were my first. Which, depending on the angle, may render the whole thing an even darker shade.)
And let me say again, all of this is packed neatly into a single, pretty brief scene. I love this game already.
PS The screenshots feature Yae, my half-elven goolock/bladelock. Say hello to him!
Thanks for reaching the end of the note! Please bear in mind I'm playing Baldur's Gate 3 for the first time and I haven't played any of the origin stories yet. Feel free to let me know if you think some things can be viewed differently in the context of the full game, but please avoid spoilers while doing so.
#baldur's gate 3#astarion#bg3 astarion#vampires#vampirism#opinion piece#vampire the masquerade#vtm#bg3
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