#in a hater mood today it seems

[tls12lessthan3]

and on that note!!!! the reason i am so immediately put off whenever any fic or art or anything mentions how thin kim dokja is like. objectively kim dokja is a very thin and frail person removed of his powers this is mentioned multiple times throughout the novel. and this is obviously because he was very poor and didn't have the money to eat well. AND because he was very suicidal and a) did not care enough about himself to do things like cook himself nice meals or give a shit about his health. and b) could not envision a future where his poor treatment of his body would actually matter because he could not envision a future period. and it's also representative of how he had no one to teach him to eat well he was kicked out onto the street at 17 with no one to show him how to cook healthy enjoyable meals or to impress on him the importance taking care of yourself. the closest he had were the passages han sooyoung wrote in twsa to try and make him eat.

like his thinness represents how utterly alone he was and how difficult his life was and how little he cares about himself. so from that perspective its something i would usually like to see explored in orv fic. but instead i instinctively cringe at any mention of it because its almost always used as shipping fodder. its almost always used from a 'wow he's so skinny and frail and twinkish doesn't yoo joonghyuk just want to feed and take care of him and rail his flat ass simultaneously' and its like. sigh. if your perception of yoo joonghyuk is that he would be attracted to the idea that kim dokja is smaller and weaker than him sure i don't care its not my perception but it's a valid one or whatever. but if thats the only context you're willing to think or care about kim dokja's thinness i am biting and killing you with hammers.

its so representative of how aspects of kim dokja's character and story get reduced to JUST being joonghyuk's twink bf. im not saying your smutfic where yoo joonghyuk can reach his hands entirely around kim dokjas waist has to have a mediation on kim dokja's shitty childhood or whatever that would actually be worse but you have to CARE about it you have to think about it at least a little. all of your interpretations of his character are going to be shallow and boring if you've never thought about him outside of those shipping goggles.

[angelsdean]

like if ur still lumping jensen in with j*red's tomfoolery in this day and age idk what to tell you. i still cannot believe the way ppl went feral and flipped on jackles for "breaking his sexy silence" at denver con after he had to do damage control after j*red's rancid wordvomit spiel. like yea he probs could've said things better but that man did not have time to Think, he had to fix an active disaster. be fair

[gaywalker80085]

Flat pt 3

Pairing: Natasha x Reader

Genre: smut 18+, angst, fluff

Summary: You think this relationship could actually go somewhere. What happens when Natasha finds out the full truth of what you do for work and what it entails

Warnings: top!reader, bottom!Natasha, angry/make-up sex, Strap-on (r giving), oral (r giving), drinking, guns, and arguing (don't worry Alana is not affected I made it so she's away during the conflict.)

A/N: Hey sorry it took so long for this to be put out I just wasn't in the mood to write whenever I had time. Unless there are requests put in this is the end of the Flat series. I hope y'all like it I know part 2 was kinda dry but I needed it to get from part 1 to here without any big plot holes (hopefully no big plot holes at least). But I hope you like it. Also not proof read because who has the time.

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2 Side part

Your week taking Alana to school had gone without a hitch. You were twice as careful to not be late and y'all had fun over the week. She went to her dad's on Friday to go on a week-long vacation with him.

It's now Sunday, you and Natasha are going on a date to a nice restaurant that you happen to own but she doesn't know that. You both decided to dress up for the fun of it.

The date is at 7 and it's currently 4 and you're panicking but luckily Wanda has come over to help you. "You're taking her to a restaurant you own. Damn, that's cheap." She says to you and you roll your eyes before looking at her. "Oh shut up, she chose it I just got lucky. Plus at least I know I like the food."

"Well, what are you going to wear? You only have a little under 3 hours you know." She tells you and you whip your head towards her and start pacing "I don't even know. What if I wear something and she thinks it's absolutely atrocious." You say starting to get even more worried.

In the midst of your panic, you didn't notice Wanda getting up until she places her hands on both of your shoulders. "Y/N it's fine I will help you. What color is she wearing, do you know?" You nod your head before telling her. "Red," Wanda smirks at you and turns to start fishing through your closet.

She emerges with a black button-up with red on the inside, black pants, and dress shoes. "She will definitely like this one. Why haven't you worn this before?" She asks you. "Uh, I didn't know I owned that." You say genuinely clueless to how that got into your closet.

"Well besides that start putting it on." She says walking over to where you keep your accessories and jewelry. You got dressed and as you were putting your shoes on she came over with a silver chain and a few rings. You put them on and stand up.

"Okay, so you're dressed. What about that rat's nest head of hair you've got going on?" She says with a raised eyebrow pointing at your head. "What do you mean rats nest I don't even have any knots. You're just a hater." You say going to get your product.

You spray your head (I have hair milk but you can pretend to apply whatever you like) and move your hair around to your liking before turning back to Wanda. "So?" You ask. "Good but let me see." She says pushing your hair around a little bit. "Okay better." She says and you turn back to look into the mirror. "It looks the same." "Yeah but better because I touched it." She says and you roll your eyes.

You spray yourself with cologne and head out the door leaving Wanda in your house to leave when she pleases. You decide to drive your dodge charger today because why not. On your way to Natashas, you don't forget to grab flowers obviously.

You pull up and walk up to Natasha's door. You feel nervous even though you've been on multiple dates before and you literally stayed at her house for a week. She just has that effect. You raise your hand to knock on the door and it swings open.

Natasha is wearing black heels and a red dress that stops just above her knees and also has a low neckline. You seem to be appreciated that low neckline for a little too long because Natasha reaches her hand out under your chin to lift your head up. You see her smirking and muster out a quiet "Hi baby."

You stand there for another few seconds before pulling yourself together. You stand up straighter and extend your arm to hand her the flowers. She takes them before turning around and walking inside with you close behind her. "You have to stop bringing me flowers I have too many." She says as she puts them into a vase that already has some.

"What do you want me to buy you instead then?" You ask her as she rounds the kitchen island towards you and wraps her arms around your neck. "Mmmm, I don't know you don't have to buy me anything you already refuse to let me pay when we go out." You place your hands on her waist pulling her even closer to you.

"Yeah but I like buying you things." You say trying to put on a pout even though yours will never be as good as hers. She brings one of her hands to the side of your face pulling you down towards her lips before just barely touching them together. Right, when you start to close the gap she pulls away and pats your chest. "Let's go we can't miss our reservation."

She turns towards the door grabbing her jacket on the way out and you jog a little to catch up with her. Once you do you grab her hand leading her towards your car. Once you get there you open her door as per usual. "Always such a gentleman." She says and you smile looking away to hide the redness creeping up your face.

You get in the car with Natasha control the music and start driving. You get to your restaurant and walk-in holding Natasha's hand. The second the hostess sees you she waves you over and takes yall to a private room.

After she leaves Natasha looks at you "You didn't have to get a private room you spend too much money on me." Before you can respond the waiter comes in "Oh hey Ms. Y/L/N what can I get you." Natasha looks at you with a raised eyebrow. "Vodka and juice." You say "I'll have an orange crush." Natasha says sending him a smile.

"Oh yeah, I actually needed to ask you about some time off." He says and your breath catches. Before you could pass as being a regular but now there really is no other explanation than you being the boss. "When and why?" You say as calmly as you can muster. "August 10th through the 18th for a family vacation." He says noticing he shouldn't have brought this up now. "If you can find someone to cover you then yes." You say and He smiles before walking away.

You all of a sudden feel Natasha kick you in the leg. "Why didn't you tell me you owned a restaurant? More importantly, the one we're eating at." She says glaring at you. "Uh, I don't know I didn't think it was very interesting." You say not meeting her eyes. She can tell that's not all but she doesn't push it for now.

You both order and receive your meals. You both talk the whole time about random subjects laughing. "So when are we going back to my house?" She asks you running her foot up your leg. "Whenever you want." You say with a smirk.

Just as you're about to stand up Bucky comes busting in the door. "They're here." He says before looking over to give Natasha a small wave. You throw your head back groaning "You're fucking joking." You say reaching for Natasha's hand. "Who's here?" She says scrunching her eyebrows, placing her hand in yours.

"Some.. unpleasant business associates." You tell her. You help her put her jacket on before grabbing her waist and giving her a quick kiss. "Can I have Bucky take you home and I'll meet you there after I'm done with this?" You ask her. She looks a little upset but nods. "Take her through the back. You don't let them see her." You tell Bucky sternly. "I know I know." He says throwing his hands up before grabbing Natasha's.

You end up having to fight Zemo and his crew along with some help from your men. The few left of them by the end started to run and you busted out the door after them. The only problem though was one of them waited for you to do that and shot you in the side near your hip.

Bucky came out after hearing the shot and saw you bleeding. He shot the guy running away before coming to your side. "Damn that looks like it hurts." He says with a smile. You give him a sarcastic smile before hitting him upside the head "Yeah you think." You say before starting to walk to your car.

You couldn't decide whether to go to your house or Natashas. You tried to tend to the wounds in your car. You try to stop the bleeding from your side and clean up some cuts on your face but you couldn't really tell if you did a sufficient job. Once you pull up to Natashas and hobble up to the door you find it unlocked. Your stomach is in your throat hoping she left it unlocked for you and it's not unlocked for other reasons.

When you walk in she's standing there glaring at you and you feel even more scared than before. "Hi, baby." You say trying to smile at her and make your hand on your hip look as natural as possible. "Don't 'baby' me what was that." She asks you stepping closer and you look at the ground. "Oh, it's fine just some people I don't get along with no big deal." Natasha doesn't respond so you look up at her. The second she sees the cuts on your face she walks all the way to you gently cradling it.

"What happened to your face? Come." She says grabbing your hand that was on your side. "You should see the other guy." You say. She leads you to the bathroom connected to her bedroom and makes you sit on the toilet. Sitting though doesn't seem to agree with your bullet wound and you try not to groan too loud at the pain.

Natasha grabs her first aid kit out from under her sink and that's when she notices the blood all over her hand. She holds her hand up putting the other on her hip "Where did this come from?" She asks and you stand up holding your breath to try and ease the pain. You walk up to her putting one of your hands on her face. "I'm fine baby really I can take care of this myself." You try to tell her. "Yeah no I'm not good with that now where did it come from?" She says again pushing you back towards the toilet.

You don't sit down and instead pull your shirt up to show her the wound. "YOU WERE TRYING TO HIDE A BULLET WOUND FROM ME?!" She yells at you. "It's just a flesh wound I'm fine." You say reaching for the first aid kit. "It's literally going through you. Turn." She says and you turn as told. "Lucky you, there's an exit hole. Now sit." She demands you.

"Aren't I usually the one telling you what you do after dates?" You say reaching for her waist and pulling her towards you. "Shut up." Is all she says before she looks away trying to hide her cheeks flushing. You reach up and bring her face down to yours. You softly kiss her rubbing her cheek with your thumb.

"Stop it I have to clean you up before you get an infection." She says trying to be as serious as possible. She starts softly cleaning and bandaging the wounds on your face. You stare at her the whole time thinking about how beautiful she looks when she concentrates. "Take a picture it'll last longer." She says trying to hide a smile."

Once she finishes your face she gets on her knees between your legs. Now you really can't stop staring and thinking about what's in your pants and how much you want to use it right about now. She unbuttons your shirt so she can get a better look. You bend down to try and kiss her but she pushes you away by your shoulder. "I'm still mad at you." She tells you with a hardened stare.

"I'm sorry I don't know what else you want me to say." You tell her reaching out to cup her cheek. "Nothing right now. Once I finish this you're going to bed." She tells you. "What why can't we deal with it right now?" You ask her. Instead of responding she starts putting a few stitches in the entry wound.

"OW. YOU COULDN'T HAVE WARNED ME?!" You exclaim gritting your teeth. She doesn't respond just pushing you so she can do the back. Once she's done she stands to start cleaning up and you come behind her wrapping your arms around her waist and placing your chin on her shoulder.

She straightens up crossing her arms and glaring at you through the mirror. "I'm sorry baby." You tell her softly. "Seems like that's the only thing you know how to say right now." She says before continuing to clean. "I don't know what else you want me to say. Tell me I'll say whatever you want."

When she's done picking up she turns to you and jabs her finger into your chest. "Why don't you 'say' how some 'unpleasant associates' showing up turns into you getting shot. Why don't you 'say' what you really do for work. Like really I have no idea what you do and we've been going out for months." She exclaims pushing you out of the way with her finger so she can leave the room.

"My job doesn't really have a title I just do what I do." You say and she turns to you throwing her hands in the air. "THEN WHAT DO YOU DO?" She says taking her dress off and you have to remind yourself now is not the time. "I have people that work for me and I own a lot of the city in some way. But sometimes people want some of my power in some way or some of my properties. People sometimes steal from me and I just deal with that. It's fine." You say and she turns to you in disbelief "You're a FUCKING CRIME BOSS?" She yells at you.

"Well, I wouldn't say that."

"THEN WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?"

"Well uh, maybe an entrepreneur."

"YOU KNEW HOW DANGEROUS YOUR JOB WAS AND YOU STILL CAME AROUND ME AND MY DAUGHTER?" She says walking till she's right in your face.

"Woah that's too far. You know I would never do anything that could put you or Allana in harm's way." You say starting to get angry that she would ever accuse you of such a thing.

"DO I KNOW THAT, BECAUSE I'M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING?" She says and you try to reach out for her but she pulls away hurting you more than you'd like to admit.

"First off you need to stop yelling. Second of course I would never put you in danger." You tell her to try and keep cool. "I WILL STOP YELLING WHEN YOU STOP LYING." She says walking past you, shoulder checking you in the process. "Natasha I never lied to you." You tell her following her into the bathroom.

She doesn't respond and instead starts brushing her teeth. You throw your hands in the air shaking your head and decide to get ready for bed. You take your clothes off until you're left in your boxers. You walk back to the bathroom to find her putting her toothbrush away so you start brushing your teeth.

You come out of the bathroom and she's standing there waiting for you. "You didn't lie but you left things out on purpose and that's just as bad." She says with her arms crossed. You walk until you're a foot apart and try to reach out for her but she pulls away again. "I'm sorry, I am it didn't even cross my mind at first, and then once it did I wanted to establish us a little more before I told you."

She turns around and starts to walk out of the bedroom. "Natasha." That is all you say before you start to follow after her. "Natasha, can you stop and just talk to me please." She stops dead in her tracks and turns to you with tears streaming down her face looking even angrier than before. "Can you just get out of my house please?"

You suddenly feel the full weight of the argument including the lump forming in your throat. A small "What?" Is all you can muster. She sternly says "Get out." Starting to push you towards the door. "Natasha please."

"Get out, get out, get out."

"Natasha."

"Get out, get out."

She just keeps saying it sobbing and the closer you get to the door the harder it is to keep the tears in. Once you're probably 10 feet from the door the tears come. She pauses for a second at the sight of your tears. You have a certain dad vibe that makes it extra sad to see you cry and she has to resist the urge to pull you towards her and rub your back.

You realize she probably won't change her mind about you leaving and if you stay you probably won't get much done considering all of the emotions. You drop your head and start walking to your car. Natasha watches you partially hoping you turn back around.

A few days pass and you haven't heard anything from Natasha but you also haven't contacted her. You have however picked up your phone around 100 times typing up messages you contemplate sending. You've obviously been in a slump barely keeping yourself alive without the help of Bucky. You're sitting there still sulking to yourself when your phone goes off. You grab it and your heart stops when you read who it's from. Natasha. "Come over at 6."

You immediately shoot up from your desk rushing to your house. You dress in a simple black short-sleeved shirt with black cargo pants that have a chain on the side. You stop to grab her a teddy bear on the way there not knowing what to get besides flowers.

When you arrive you knock softly on the door, the door opens and your head is hung low scared to face her. When she doesn't speak you look up "Hi baby." You say and she doesn't say anything turning around and walking away but leaving the door open.

"Uh, I got you this." You say walking up to her when she stops. You use the moment to take in her appearance. She's wearing your sweatshirt and some lounge shorts that you can barely tell are there. She reaches out and takes it looking at it instead of you. She wraps her arms around it and steps forwards pushing herself into you for you to hold her. "Why did you come?" She asks you catching you off guard. "Because you asked me to." You tell her confused and she's silent before pulling back to look at you.

"Why didn't you text me?" She asks you. "I didn't know if you'd want to hear from me." You tell her softly and she looks down, eyes brimming with tears. "You should've texted me anyways." She tells you furrowing her eyebrows and trying to keep the tears in. "I'm sorry baby." Is all you can think to say. "I know who you are. Fully." She says backing up.

"Baby." "No, why didn't you tell me. The true reason." She asks you. You hang your head low because you know the answer and you know she knows. "I've done things okay, and I do things but I'm not a bad person." You try to explain "I didn't ask for excuses about why I asked why." She says jabbing your chest with her finger. "Because I hurt people." You say still not looking at her. "Do you even care about me and my daughter or were you going to kill us too if I broke up with you."

"What, Natasha no I would never hurt either of you." You try to plead meeting her eyes and reaching out for her, grabbing her hand. "Well, how do I know that since I apparently know nothing about you." "Baby you have to believe me-" "No I don't because I don't trust you anymore. I don't know why I did I know better than that" She says pushing her finger into your chest harder. "I wanted to tell you I swear I was just scared, and those people are all criminals who have done far worse than me."

"The bottom line is you're violent. You've brought your violence and the people associated with it into my home, around my daughter." She says looking into your eyes like she wants you to drop dead, tears starting to stream down her face. "But that doesn't matter to you does it because you don't care." "No, baby-"

"WHY DO YOU STICK AROUND IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME." "Natasha what I-." "AM I JUST TOO GOOD OF A HOOKUP TO PASS ON?" "Natasha" "IS THAT WHAT I AM TO YOU?" "NATASHA" At that she bursts into harder tears and throws herself into you.

You immediately wrap your arms around her holding her tight. "I just wanted you to care about me." That is all she says before pulling away and you don't know what to do. "Natasha I do care about you." "Really it doesn't seem like it." That is all she says still walking away.

"Yeah, I do I don't understand how that's so hard to grasp."

"Maybe because you've been indirectly lying to me about being a murderer for months and that's not really what people that care do."

"I did that because I was scared of losing you and I'm not just some serial killer it comes with the job," You say sternly.

"What about my daughter?"

"What?"

"WHAT ABOUT MY DAUGHTER? YOU JUST PUT HER IN HARMS WAY. YOU KNOW I'M A MOM RIGHT. YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THIS AFFECTS HER TOO. IF YOU CARED ABOUT HER OR ME YOU WOULD'VE AT LEAST TOLD ME FOR HER."

"I DO CARE. OF COURSE, I CARE I LOVE HER, I LOVE YOU. IF I WAS AN ACTUAL DANGER I WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN INVOLVED WITH YOU BUT IT'S NOT I HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL."

Natasha just stands in front of you before rushing at you and pulling you into a searing kiss. You wrap your arms as tightly around her as you can. She starts to untuck your shirt from your pants but you quickly grab her wrists "Natasha I don't know you're really upset right now." She brings her hands to your face holding your face just over hers. "Do you want me?" She asks her eyes boring into yours. "Natasha." You say trying to hold your resolve. "Do you." She says not breaking eye contact. You nod and whisper "Always."

She moves to leave open-mouthed kisses along the side of your neck. She gets your shirt untucked and touches your stomach with her cold hand making the muscles beneath it twitch. Noticing you're still holding back she grips your jaw pulling you to face her. "Fuck me. Now." She demands you and you can't help crashing your lips against hers.

You quickly wrap your hands under her thighs and lift her not patient enough to wait for her to jump. Your tongues fight for dominance with you coming out on top. You walk to her bedroom pushing her against the door. She drags her nails through your hair and down your neck.

You wrap your hand around her throat pushing her harder against the door. She lets out a moan followed by a whine trying to push her head forwards to continue kissing you. You move to her neck to leave open-mouth kisses along with it. "Mark me." She says making you falter. She takes the opportunity to grab you by the jaw and pulls you to look into your eyes. "And fuck me like you mean it while you're at it." She says rolling her hips and your self-control is completely broken.

You move quickly and start leaving dark marks along her throat, chest, and shoulders. She rolls her hips against you when she feels your piece. She starts grinding down hard searching for the friction she desires. You pull away from the door and start walking towards the bed.

You throw her down on the bed before you crawl up to her and place one of your knees between her legs pushing it into her core. She lets out a moan quickly starting to grind down. The second your head is level with hers she grabs your head to pull you back down into a heated kiss. Despite being caught in the moment you still know in the back of your mind that Natasha has every right to hate you and to tell you to get out right now so you decide teasing her isn't worth it.

You move to start kissing her neck again but after the first kiss, she's already impatient. "Y/N." "Yes, baby?" you ask snaking your hands up the inside of her sweatshirt as she squirmed trying to get away from your cold hands. "Please." She begs and you waste no time getting to work.

Later in the night you Natasha has fallen asleep but you can't seem to follow. You were deflecting earlier you really did put them into harms way and you can't stop from hating yourself for it. You can't decide if you could ever truly keep them safe from who you are. The monster you are.

You decide it's best for them to be kept as far away from the danger as possible. As far away from you as possible.

You quietly gather your things before writing Natasha a note and placing it on the nightstand. You lean down to give Natasha a kiss for the last time and kiss her on the forehead.

"I'm sorry." Is all you whisper before turning to walk out the door.

Taglist: @winterstorm311 @rice-wiife @lost-mortemanghel @r3dheadenthusiast @cd-4848 @diaryoflife

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2 Side part

[classiccowboy]

instagram j.b.

summary: follow along with joe and his fiancée evie as they go through his football career.

* face claim is yasmin quintana*

series masterlist.

evie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 873,190 others

evie: did some cowgirl shit

view all 2,739 comments…

millyg: yee frickin haw

> evie: bitches 🤠

user: NO WAY IS IT HAPPENING????

user: i was hoping this thing would get called off

joeyb_9: guess i better saddle up.

> evie: i’m coming home to you cowboy. 😉

user: no wait this is so cute

user: not ev in her cowgirl era

> evie: i fear it may be permanent

user: i cannot comprehend that you guys are so in love your getting married….

> user: wym you can’t comprehend it?? they’ve been together for like 7 years and are clearly very happy?

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, bose, and 912,054 others

joeyb_9: locked in #TeamBose

view all 5,108 comments…

user: this hairstyle is the best

user: ev is so lucky

> evie: like it truly doesn’t get better than this.

user: this is giving major top gun vibes

evie: i’m locked in on you. 🤪💗

> joeyb_9: 🌽

user: yalllll this man!

used: if you need consoling after this tough season hit my line

> evie: aw. i might take you up on that offer

> user: if there’s one things ev is going to do it’s make sure errrrrbody know joe is HER man

> user: no like its giving *insecure*

evie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 910,002 others

evie: my mood for the foreseeable future..

view all 3,107 comments…

user: angel girl

user: she’s a stunnnnna

lahjay10_: if joe ain’t bring some of those cookies tomorrow we may have a problem

> evie: only the best for you jay

user: a ray of sunshine

joeyb_9: photo by me, socks from my closet, cookies homemade, your smile out of this world.

> evie: the man that you are…

user: i don’t know if im rooting for you or not

user: this doesn’t seem like lifestyles of the rich and famous

> evie: you’re looking in the wrong place for that content

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, evie, and 816,901 others

joeyb_9: my hands don’t look small here

view all 6,738 comments…

user: delete this my girl has ig

bengals: caption 🤌

user: you remember what them haters had to say

evie: let’s put them to good use. 😉

> user: EV! it’s too early to be spicy in the comments!

> user: nooo she’s getting some of that BDJ 🤣

user: i wasn’t prepared for this today

user: GOODNESS GRACIOUS

evie

liked by joeyb_9, bengals, and 520,091 others

evie: why is it always so cold in seattle?

view all 6,194 comments…

user: you’re giving pick me vibes

> evie: next time you’re looking for something to comment on, please, don’t pick me. (:

user: seattle is nice when it isn’t raining

user: period !!!

millyg: a moment for YOU 💗

> evie: i luv u.

user: these pics make seattle look bad

joeyb_9: the fit goes HARD

> evie: you can borrow it anytime 🤪

> joeyb_9: game day fit?

> evie: would def be top 5 of the season.

user: why are joe and ev always so goofy in the comments, and yall think they aren’t made for each other????

> user: no bc SAME! i don’t get why people think they aren’t a good fit. they’re obsessed with each other.

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 730,726 others

joeyb_9: Dark Knight

view all 5,720 comments…

user: that’s my QB

joemainmixon: 🐐

user: you ain’t him

user: WAKE UP JOE POSTED

lahjay10_: (TOP 2) DAM SURE AINT 2! 🐐

> evie: TELL EM JAY

user: smash

evie: i think i need a hero… 🥵

> joeyb_9: i’ll be your knight in black shoulder pads.

evie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 820,092 others

evie: big week 😳

view all 5,118 comments…

user: my favorite wag

user: if y’all actually are getting married im sick.

user: are you going to share what’s happening?

user: you look STUNNING

user: wym??

user: not prepared for what’s about to go down. i have a feeling.

joeyb_9: 👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏼

> user: oh shit

user: not joe about to ruin his life if speculation is true

> user: wow everyone is supportive until you realize he really isn’t ever going to leave her for you. this is crazy behavior!

evie

liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 1,737,026 others

evie: i think i like this little life.. 🤍

view all 15,829 comments…

millyg: and that’s MRS. Evangeline Burrow!

> user: not me just now finding out ev’s full name

> user: Evangeline??? Excuse me, that’s beautiful.

user: she doesn’t deserve it.

lahjay10_: we was TURNT TF UP!

user: i am sick with jealousy

bengals: The King and his Queen, congratulations!

user: only ring he will ever get but congrats

> user: marrying the love of your life is a bigger dub than the sb ever will be.

user: congrats!

sam_hubbard_: Finally!!

user: i knew it was coming and somehow i convinced myself he was smarter than this..

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, millyg, and 1,290,001 others

joeyb_9: Mr. & Mrs.

view all 8,628 comments…

lahjay10_: congratulations brudda!

user: most overrated player in the nfl

> user: bro can’t you let him enjoy his wedding?

user: congrats, now go get that other ring!

user: i give it a few months before they are done with each other.

> user: considering they’ve been together for almost a decade, i don’t see that happening

user: we all wish we were ev rn!

bengals: that’s our QB, you lucky boy!

user: another thing to distract him from winning the super bowl

user: not fair

millyg: i’m not crying, you are. jk i am crying. i’ve been crying all day.

user: he’s too famous for this, he will get sick of her.

evies ig stories:

[thelov3lybookworm]

Hater Boyfriend

Summary: Her boyfriend is a certified hater

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 989

Warnings: kenji being a sassy lady but also protective boyfie and we love to see itttt 💅

A/n: dedicated to @cassie6392 cus shes like the biggest kenji lover i know and shes adorable and i love her sm and and and-

anyways, enjoyyy🥹🤭

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Could this day get any worse?

Y/n sighed, rubbing her eyes before bending down to pick up the broken shells of the egg that had slipped from her hand.

At least she was home now. Maybe she could lay back in bed and watch some tv series on her laptop. Or maybe she’ll just go to sleep. Maybe even talk to some of her friends. Just anything to get her mind off of her coworker and her mean words.

Maybe I should just order in.

But then, what if they messed up her order? It would truly be the cherry on top and maybe even the last straw for her.

As she finished washing her hands after cleaning the egg, the doorbell rang. It was almost ten. Who could it be? As far as she remembered, she had not ordered anything.

Curious, she peeked out at the visitor, her mood instantly lifting when she spied the grinning face of her boyfriend of six months.

"Hello sweetheart." He muttered as soon as Y/n opened the door, stepping forward to envelop her in a warm hug. Despite the weather turning colder, the thick jacket and his body heat made up for the chill in the air.

"Hey Ken."

He manoeuvred her back into her apartment, kicking the door shut behind him without breaking the embrace, letting her bury her face in his chest without complaint.

"How was your day, my love?"

She sighed, pulling back slightly to pout up at him. "Don’t ask. It was so bad."

His brows furrowed, concern shining in his eyes. "Why so?"

"Everything went so bad today. First I dropped my water bottle on my leg. It still hurts. Then I found out my coworker -you remember Emily?- shit talked me behind my back. If that wasn’t enough, there was so much traffic on the way home and then I dropped an egg."

Amusement warred with anger in his eyes as he leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. "I’m so sorry, love. Is there any way I can make your day better?"

Y/n pulled away completely, about to say no when her gaze went to the couch. "You could cuddle me to sleep." She suggested with a small smile shot in his direction, causing him to chuckle.

"Let’s order some chinese food and watch a movie, and then we can cuddle. How does that sound?"

Y/n giggled. "Perfect."

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

After Kenji had cuddled Y/n to sleep, she had woken up with a smile on her face to find a post it note on her bedside table.

‘I had something come up. I made breakfast for you, it’s in the oven. Be ready tonight, I’m taking you out. :)’

Despite her initial disappointment that she didn’t wake up to her boyfriend’s smiling face, the note lifted her spirits. At least she would have something to look forward to the whole day.

Having settled on wearing a formal dress, Y/n hurriedly shoved down her breakfast and left for her office.

She avoided Emily as much as she could, choosing instead to focus her energy on wondering what Kenji would come up with for their dinner date.

Soon enough, the sun was setting as Y/n stalked out of the office building, pausing only when she found Emily standing outside, her eyes fixed on-

Kenji.

Oh hell no. That’s my man.

Before Y/n could do anything though, Kenji spotted her, giving her a breathtaking smile as he jogged up to her, a small bouquet of mixed flowers in his hand.

"Hello darling. How was your day?"

Y/n smiled as he pressed his lips to her temple, feeling someone's gaze on her. She hoped it was Emily. Maybe she was burning with jealousy, who knows.

I hope she is.

"Good enough."

"Did you avoid that bitch who was shit talking you?"

Y/n choked on her spit as her wide eyes flew to Emily’s. "Ken!"

"What? Where is she? Is she still inside? I hope I get to see her so I can tell her to her face how ugly I know she is."

"Kenji!"

He seemed to finally realise that Y/n was actually mortified and not pretending. "What?"

She jerked her chin towards a clearly offended Emily. His gaze turned contemplative as he surveyed her. "Fuck dude, shes worse than I imagined-"

Y/n covered her face with her hand, trying not to laugh out loud as embarrassment covered her cheeks.

My boyfriend is certainly a hater.

"Anyways, sweetheart, I’ve made reservations at your favourite fine dining restaurant. Are you ready to go?"

Y/n nodded, letting Kenji drag her to his car, refusing to meet the accusing gaze of her coworker.

Despite her embarrassment though, there was warmth spreading through Y/n’s chest.

Just as Kenji opened the door for Y/n to sit, he turned to Emily, who continued to glare.

Are her eyes shining? Is she about to cry?

"And you. If I hear one more time that you shit talked my lady here, I swear I will do my best to make your life miserable."

Y/n’s cheeks burned hotter.

"And how will you do that?" Emily snapped, lifting her chin.

Kenji raised his brows. "My friend’s boyfriend, Aaron. You know, the owner of the company you currently work in?"

Her face paled slightly, and then without a word, she walked away, huffing. Kenji watched her go, and Y/n spied pure contempt in his eyes. But then he turned back to Y/n, smiling, as if just a moment ago he wasn’t threatening her coworker.

"I’m starving."

Y/n nodded, settling into the passenger seat without a word before watching Kenji close the door and jog around to the driver’s side. He did not acknowledge what had just happened, and Y/n decided that she did not want to either.

"I’m starving too."

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Shatter Me Taglist: @dahliawarner @berryzxx @mrsjna @yucanbmylxdy @lemon-lav @sheisntyou @kitkatlover015

Kenji Kishimoto Taglist: @kennedy-brooke @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @aaaaaaakenjikishimoto

@serenescureforboredom

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Orange Blossoms

Pairing: Buck x Reader

Word count: 5.2

Notes: WOW I can’t believe I have like nothing to say for notes like usually I can’t shut up here okay. Anyway I’m working on that other secret series that I’m really not sure I’m even gonna publish but I kinda want to move to marvel again who KNOWS

Chapter 2: Backpack, Backpack

Buck changes his screensaver immediately.

 Back to just a photo of all of them, because if Bobby sees that he’d probably skin him alive. He’d already all but threatened him to stay away from you. In a sweet, loving, dad-type way. 

“You go anywhere near her and I kill you” 

Okay, maybe he did threaten him. 

But it was probably just a joke, Buck would be the perfect son-in-law!

“It wasn’t a joke” 

How does Eddie always know what he’s thinking? 

“Does this mean I really have to stay away from her… because I can’t do that Eddie? I’m in love” 

They’re standing together holding a hose, it’s a pretty routine fire thank god it hasn’t gotten too big. Eddie moves over to the side and Buck follows him 

“First of all, you’re not in love, you’re infatuated. You’re not a Disney princess Buck, as much as you’d like to believe you are. It takes time to fall in love.” 

“It takes time to fall in love” Buck mocks him in a high-pitched voice, Eddie snickers knowing he’s absolutely right 

“What’s your second point, jerk.”

“Second of all, she’s Bobby’s niece. And he said to stay away from her” 

“Okay, but she's Athena’s niece!!”

“They’re married? And she calls him Uncle Bobby. Are you really getting all technical on my ass!” 

“I am giving the future Mrs. Y/N Buckley all the respect she deserves!” 

Eddie stops fully, turning to look at his delusional best friend. He doesn’t usually give em his last name. He must really be down bad for you 

“We really… need to talk about how you plan your entire life with someone after knowing them for all of six seconds” 

Buck gives him an incredulous look, like Eddie had never done that before. He kicks at him to turn back around. 

“I can hear the bells” Buck sings “well, do n'tcha hear em chime? Can't you feel my heartbeat keeping perfect time?” 

Eddie’s head falls back as he bursts out laughing, he nearly drops the hose as Buck sings the entire damn song in a silly voice, dramatically acting it out. 

He’s humming it all the way back to the station, he gets weird looks from everyone but he’s in too good of a mood to care. They tease him and try to get a rise out of him but he just shakes his head 

“Nothing you say will ever dampen my spirits, you're all just haters!” He sticks his tongue out at them 

“You’re usually this happy when you’ve got a date… so who is she?”Chim asks from the front seat and Buck stalls a little 

“Uh- no! No, it’s not a date it’s just… uh”

“Buck is talking to my cousin Alicia!” Eddie shrugs, as nonchalantly as possible “Yeah Alicia, he was Insta-stalking her so I just you know told him to…go for it”

“Long distance? That doesn’t sound like you” Bobby narrows his eyes and Buck looks at Eddie frantically 

“She’s coming here! Soon! To visit!” 

“Oh, that’ll be nice!” Bobby seems happy about that and Eddie immediately gets on his phone…he needs to send a text. 

Buck hears the rumble of your engine before he sees you and he’s already sneaking out to come greet you. Eddie notices him being shady and not finishing restocking the engine, so he follows him. 

Buck looks like he’s in dreamland, he watches you park your bike and take off your helmet, shaking out your long pink hair. The sun is shining just for you today he’s sure, the rays illuminating your glowing skin. And boy are you showing quite a bit of it. Your shorts are so tiny Buck isn’t even sure you’re wearing any underneath the sweatshirt you use for riding. You pull that off too and lay it across your seat. His eyes are glued to the orange cropped tank top and how cute it looks with your light blue shorts. He wonders if it’s difficult to drive with all your shoes, the white platform sneakers give you a little extra height but he still towers over you and that’s the way he likes it. 

“Hey, wifey,” Buck says sweetly, his voice soft and breathy. Eddie’s mouth drops open as he walks up to you both and Buck snaps out of it, his eyes wide as saucers as he puts his hands up

“No, god, no I mean… uh… hey wiffle ball??” 

“What” Eddie says under his breath, looking at Buck like he’s crazy. You bite your lip and shake your head trying to control your giggles as the boys lead you inside the station 

“Hey, volleyball?” 

“That’s… that’s not even the same category,” Eddie says, his face scrunched up as he puts his hands in his pockets 

“And you can do better?” You sass him, your hands on your hips. 

“Uh yeah. Pickle ball? Cricket? Dare I say, baseball?” 

“Wait, why cricket?” Buck asks 

“Because there’s a ball and a bat are you guys actually criticizing my thinking skills” 

“I’m just saying it’s kinda out there” You poke at him 

“Yeah, what are we? British?” Buck scoffs and you giggle when Eddie kicks your shoe and flicks Bucks's arm in pure annoyance 

“Why are you even here?” He says through gritted teeth playfully and you laugh, side-bumping him.

“Athena asked me to deliver some paperwork Bobby forgot to fill out” 

“Oh doesn’t she usually do that?” Buck tilts his head and wow he looks cute when he does that. You blush a little and look at your shoes for a second 

“Yeah, but she said I might have more fun” 

“Uh I walked in on them last time” Eddie gags “I don’t think you’ll have more fun”

“I mean she could, I know a great closet” 

Buck just says it, it’s a good joke, a great joke. Your mouth falls open and Eddie slaps his hand over his mouth gleefully 

“Oh my god” 

Buck looks confused for a second “Wha…” His eyes widen and he puts his hands out “Wait no! No, I was kidding! Well, I mean if you-“ He smirks, running his hand through his hair 

“Buck!” Eddie shouts 

You’re all out laughing now as Buck turns a wonderful shade of red 

“I just- I mean it’s not off limits you know it- guys shut up!!! It was a joke!” 

“What was a joke?” Bobby comes over, confused as to why you’re here and why Buck is trying to find the nearest ax 

“Pickleball” Eddie blurts out and you nearly keel over, wheezing. His excuses were not his best today. 

“We uh we gotta go” Eddie grabs Buck, who is holding his head in his hands whining loudly, and drags him away 

“Bye Y/N! See you later!”

Bobby watches them run away, his eyebrow raised 

“You’re not talking to either of them are you?” He asks and you roll your eyes and wipe at the little tears 

“No… we’re just friends Bobby. And they’re nice! I like hanging out with them”

“You’ve gone out with them?” He crosses his arms over his chest and you blush lightly 

“Uh… yeah? J- just to hang out and get to know them. I don’t have any friends in L.A Bobby you know that”

“You have May! She’s a great girl! She can introduce you to all of her friends”

“Bobby, we barely know each other anymore. We haven’t done anything together since we were literal children. And you know, whilst she has offered to take me out next weekend and introduce me to her friends, she and I have already decided that I’m not sticking around that friend group unless it’s an occasional hangout. Those are her friends and her life. So until she and I get closer…neither of us are letting you and Athena force us together.”

Bobby looks at you, struggling for words. He puts his hands on his hips sassily

“You know. You two don’t have to make that much sense. Just- I love Buck and Eddie don’t get me wrong. They’re my kids! But promise me you’ll be careful. Because if someone asked me who I would let my kid date from the team I would absolutely say none of these people” 

You giggle and hand him the papers from Athena, standing on your toes you kiss his cheek and wave goodbye 

“I promise I’ll be careful! We’re all just friends!” 

You walk back outside, a little skip in your step as you walk up to your bike. Buck and Eddie are standing next to it 

“You wanna sit on it?” You call you and Buck fist pumps, eagerly climbing on 

“I was hoping you’d say that!” 

You strut over and stand in front of them as Buck leans forward, pretending to be driving. He makes little car noises and you laugh, your hands behind your back 

“Having fun?” You muse and he sits up 

“Uh- yes. What kind of question is that” he scoffs and you roll your eyes 

“You wanna take her for a spin?” You ask coyly and Buck’s mouth drops open 

“Wait seriously? You’d let me?” 

“Of course, I would! I trust you” 

He starts it up, groaning as it purrs for him. He pats the handlebars and you hand him your helmet 

“Hey,, Buck?” Eddie pokes at his shoulder and he looks up

“Yes, bestie”

“We’re literally in the middle of a shift” 

“I’m sorry I can’t understand your accent. It’s too Texasy” 

“I literally don’t-“

“Buck! Get off that thing! You’re at work” Bobby yells at him from the bay doors and he groans loudly, getting off and handing you back your helmet. You take it from him, giggling and shaking your head 

“Maybe some other time… like this weekend or something! Afterwards, we go bowling with Eddie!” 

Eddie looks between the two of you “We’re going bowling?” 

Bucks behind you, signaling him frantically to say no.

“Yeah! Didn’t Buck ask you?” 

Buck clasps his hands together silently begging Eddie

“Ohhh… uh.. yeah! Yeah, I just totally forgot. Um yeah, I can go bowling this weekend!” 

Buck's mouth drops open and he mimes choking Eddie, you spin around and his hands drop to his sides as he smiles at you sweetly 

“Okay cool!! Well, I’ll see you guys this weekend!” You hop on your bike and Buck helps you put your helmet on. He shyly leans in and kisses the top of it 

“Uh- drive safe! Text me when you know you get wherever you’re going. If you want to that is I mean you don’t have to… you’ll probably text like Athena or Bobby or something yeah yeah you don’t have to text me it’s cool”

He steps back from the bike and you shake your head and he knows you’re laughing at him again. You make a little heart with your hands and wave goodbye to them before driving off.

Buck watches you drive off, your sweatshirt fluttering in the wind. He watches until he can’t see you anymore with his hands in his pockets he turns to Eddie 

“I’ll give you a five-second head start”

“Buck. That’s childish can you just-“

“Five”

“Buck, let me explain! When have I never not had a plan come on!”

“Four”

“Buck you can’t be alone with her yet you-“

“Three-two-one!” He shouts and dives for Eddie. Eddie screams and runs towards the station with Buck hot on his heels. He runs around the truck and dodges Hen with a spin 

“That’s cheating and you know it!!”

“Cheating my ass!”

“What on god's green earth are the two of you doing?!” Bobby calls down from the balcony 

“Nothing!” They yell in unison as they run around the station. 

“That doesn’t look like nothing”

“It’s a new training exercise! Just working on stamina!” Eddie yells back, yelping when he feels Buck’s hand brush his belt 

“That the lamest excuse you’ve ever come up with” Hen mumbles as they run past her again 

“Don’t be a snitch” Buck pants and she puts her hands in the air, staying out of their mess

Eventually, Buck corners him, and they’re in the sleeping quarters 

“I’m-“ Buck's hands are on his knees “I’m gonna kick your ass-“ He wheezes “when I can breathe again”

Eddie slumps down in the corner, letting his head fall against the cool wall

“Not if we die first” He pants heavily, running his hands through his hair 

Okay, maybe Buck didn’t think this thing through how is he supposed to kill Eddie if he passes out from lack of oxygen? They take a good six or so minutes to breathe normally again 

“I said yes so that way she could say she was going with both of us not just one of us and then I’d cancel or show up and just say my arm or like back or whatever was hurting so I could just sit back and keep score.”

Buck is laid out on the floor, he looks over at Eddie, his nose scrunched up 

“Wait, why didn’t you just say that?”

Buck has been staring at the picture you sent him for the last 20 minutes. You’re standing in the full-length mirror at Athena’s house, a little peace sign. You texted him as soon as you got home and after that picture boy does he wish he was better friends with May, he knows she’d “invite” him over. 

He knows it’s just… a little pervy, the way he stares at your thighs in the full-length mirror. He thinks that’s his favorite physical thing about you. Your full, plush thighs, especially in those mini skirts you just love to wear. And these shorts you’re wearing are absolutely no exception. They hug your body like they were tailored to fit you. Actually, he’s pretty sure they are tailored. 

He sighs dreamily hitting the favorites button

“Is that Y/N” 

He jumps so far out of his seat that he fumbles with his phone before slamming it awkwardly into the table 

“Did you just break your phone?!” Hen stares at him 

“I sure as hell hope not! What uh what can I do for you? Need somethin? A smoothie? You want a smoothie I’m gonna make you a smoothie” he runs over to the fridge and starts pulling things out. Hen picks up his phone, looking it over, and thank god it’s not cracked. 

“You didn’t answer my question,” She says, taking his seat and holding out his phone to him. 

“Uh, what question?” He turns on the blender, miming that he can’t hear and Hen crosses her arms over her chest, giving him a look. He smiles sheepishly once it shuts off and pours her smoothie 

“Y-yeah that was her.” He unlocks his phone and hands it over with the smoothie 

“Damn”

“I know!!” Buck squeals he’d joked about proudly showing you off to his coworkers and now he’s actually doing it. 

“She’s a nice girl… Cap knows you’re texting her?” 

“No and neither do you” Buck goes over to his “secret cabinet” pulls out one of his good mini chocolate bars and hands it to Hen. She takes it from him, opens it up, and takes a bite out. She groans softly and her eyes roll back. He always keeps those fully locked up 

“Right?”

“Right.” Hen gives him a double thumbs up and grabs her smoothie

After making sure Hen is gonna stay quiet Buck goes downstairs, there’s literally nothing to do, he’s checked off his entire list and even did the end of Eddie’s. If he’s this bored… Hopefully, someone else is.

“Hello?” You answer on the third ring and he gulps and then clears his throat 

“Uh hey! Hey Y/N it’s me, Buck” 

“I know” you giggle “What’s up?” 

“Oh…nothin just wanted to see if you were busy or anything…kinda boring around here”

“Did you call me just to talk?” You ask and his cheeks flush. Because yeah but like that sounds lame he could have just texted you. 

“…Maybe?” His voice is hesitant and cracks a little. Oh my god why was that happening so freaking much 

“That’s really cute” You laugh and he hears you rustling around for a minute. “Athena is sending me back out on an errand run with May… but we can text! If you wanted” 

“Yeah no! No texting is fine! I should have probably asked if you were busy first… I’m yeah no I’m sorry we can text”

“No it’s okay, I…like hearing your voice” You mutter shyly and he can hear May snickering in the background. His cheeks flush and he bites his lip 

“You do?” 

“Y-yeah I do” 

“Well good… I like hearing yours too, like, a lot” He admits, his heart is pounding in his chest 

“I have to go but, call me back tonight okay? Like…around midnight? When um-“

“When Bobby is asleep?” He says mischievously and it’s your turn to blush 

“Yeah… will you?” He can hear the hesitancy in your voice and it makes him weak, he just wants to kiss you breathless so badly. 

“It’s a date. I’ll talk to you later doll” 

“You better text me too, Bye Evan”

He hears May teasing you as you curse at her and hang up, he holds his phone to his chest, wilting into his seat and sighing sweetly. Midnight can’t come fast enough. 

The rest of the day drags and not just because he’s waiting to get off but because there’s literally nothing to do, which is the most surprising part. Really he supposes he should be glad nothing is happening, that means people are safe… besides 

It just gives him more time to talk to you. 

And boy does he, he starts slow with his memes, you have to kinda ease people into your insanity. But the second you send an Optimus Prime thirst trap on TikTok all decency and manners fly out the window and you’re both trying to send each other the worst things you’ve ever seen 

He’s falling faster and faster for you. Just call him Princess Buck. 

“What are you laughing at?” Eddie comes over, lifting Bucks legs up and plopping on the couch with him

“Um…nothin” he mumbles, distracted as he laughs into his fist at the Nick Fox thirst trap he’s sending you “don’t worry I’ve been sending them to you too”

“I already regret being your friend. Who else did you send them to?” He toys with Buck’s pant leg 

“Um… Y/N we’re just…talking” 

Eddie hears the click of a camera and he frowns, looking at Buck who shrugs and doesn’t look away from his phone 

“We’re also snapping” 

“Snapping? You sound like a teenager” He chuckles but puts his feet up on the coffee table and scrolls through his phone too 

“Teens use Instagram nowadays, old ass man. I asked for her snap just to see pictures of her, I just- god hold on” 

He pulls up the picture from earlier and hands his phone over. Eddie lets out a low whistle and Buck wriggles on the couch 

“God I know right! I don’t care if she suffocates me, I’d die happily” He says and Eddie laughs at him, his head falling back on the couch 

“Yeah. You know a closet” 

Buck groans and slaps his hands over his face 

“I can’t believe I said that to her” 

“She thought it was funny” 

“Okay but low-key? I wish she would have like said bet or something”

“I’m pretty sure you would have passed out” 

“Oh I know I would have and she could have given me mouth to mouth”

Eddie rolls his eyes, laughing at Buck again 

“You’ve got it bad my man” 

“Oh you have no damn idea” 

It’s around 10pm when a call comes in, and Buck is always too distracted by the voice message you sent him to get his stuff on. Eddie swipes the phone from his hands and glares at him, He blushes and gets his stuff on almost faster than he ever has and snatches it back, patting Eddie on the cheek before they load into the truck 

“Apparently a bonfire in a kids backyard got a bit out of hand, everyone be ready to possibly have to cut line but there should already be another team there doing it. Be advised the house is on fire but it’s small for now”

Athena is already there, with a few drunk people in her backseat. She’s talking to someone quite animatedly, her voice is low. 

“Everything oka- May??” Bobby stops, looking between them. Athena stands back, her hands on her hips

“Where’s Y/N?” He asks immediately and May sighs loudly 

“I don’t know. I’ve tried to say it a million times I don’t know! The fire broke out and we got separated!” 

“I’ve tried contacting her but she isn’t answering” Athena looks like she’s ready to rip her hair out. Bobby puts his hands on her shoulders, his voice is full of worry as he kisses her forehead 

“Hey, we’re gonna find her okay? I promise” 

“She’s here for a couple days and I’ve already lost her.”

“You didn’t lose her mom, I did. I should have kept a better eye on her! But she said she’d be okay! And Crystal wanted to show me something and-“ She starts up and Athena sighs, hugging her

“It’s not your fault baby, Y/N is an adult. You were both right, she can take care of herself”

Bobby walks over to Eddie and Buck who are hosing down a section of the yard 

“You two have Y/N’s number right? Can you call her real quick?”

“Uh, yeah sure.” Buck shrugs and pulls out his phone, it takes a second with all his stuff on. 

Bobby takes the hose from him and stands behind Eddie

“Everything okay?” Eddie asks, looking back at him and he shrugs 

“Yeah… just uh. Just call, Buck” 

It rings six times which is the longest its ever taken you to answer 

“Hello?” Your voice is so small it takes him aback. 

“Uh hey, hey Y/N”

Bobby perks up, motioning to keep her talking 

“Where- where are you? You sound funny” He walks away a little, so he can hear you better 

“I’m-” you hesitate and Bucks anxiety skyrockets

“I’m a firefighter Y/N, you can tell me anything” He says soothingly, his voice dropping an octave 

“I’m in the house”

“Where in the house” He turns to it and starts running, the fire is slowing down but not nearly enough. He mutes his phone for a second and alerts everyone on the radios 

“It’s- it’s so stupid”

He stops, smashing the unmute button

“Y/N, please. Fuck, the house is on fire. You do realize that right?!” 

“It’s what?! I-I’m locked in a closet in the basement. N-nothings happening down here!”

“Alright, I’m coming to get you okay? I’m coming, baby” 

He doesn’t even have time to cringe at himself as he runs into the house, Hen and another couple of guys are already shutting doors and putting some of the smaller fires out but it’s definitely staying consistent 

“Where’s the basement?!” He asks you, panting slightly as he frantically looks around

“The kitchen, there’s a doorway” 

He hangs up the phone and shoves it in his pocket

“Y/N??” He yells for you, panic seeping through his veins 

“Have you found her?” Bobby radios him “do you need help?”

“Buck??? Buck, I’m in here!!” You’re pounding on the door as hard as you can to get his attention 

“I’ve got her! I found her!” He calls into the radio as he runs over to the door 

“Y/N? Is there anywhere you can stand to the left or right, away from the door?” 

“I think so?!” You back up into the corner as far as you can, pressing yourself against the wall

“Alright! What now?”

Buck readies his ax, holding it in his hands

“Now I channel my inner Jack Torrance!” 

You shriek as the ax breaks through the door and he begins to create an opening for you. He breaks into the door easily…if he’s being honest he probably could have kicked it in… but this was more fun. 

“Don’t you dare” you say as soon as there’s a clear small hole

“When am I ever going to be able to say it with someone who would actually laugh about it in a completely unprofessional way!!” 

You groan and duck down more as a few wood chips fly

“…Fine!” 

Buck goes just a teeny bit crazy with the axe, most of the fire has been contained so he takes a little more time than necessary. He gleefully smashes the door down, laughing maniacally while screaming “Here’s Johnny!” 

You do laugh, because it’s stupid and it’s so Buck, and watching him enjoying himself is cute. As soon as the hole is big enough for you, you step through and he yanks you into his chest immediately, you let out a little squeak and hold onto him 

“What the hell were you doing in there? You could have died!” 

“I didn’t know! I tried calling May but she didn’t answer the phone and… and I didn’t want to call you and-“

“Wait, why didn’t you wanna call me??” Buck pushes you back a little just by your shoulders and you look down at your feet. He tilts your head up and that’s when he realizes your makeup is a bit ruined. He chalked it up to the heat…but you said there wasn’t any 

“Why didn’t you want to call me? Did something happen?” He asks a little calmer this time

“We should get out of here. The building could collapse” you quickly change the subject and try to pull away from him but he stops you. He bends down to your eye level and forces you to look him in the eyes 

“It’s structurally sound. Trust me. Y/N what happened.”  

You look down at your shoes, wringing your hands together and sighing 

“It’s… childish” 

“No it isn’t. Just tell me.” His voice is firm and he looks upset, you groan and let your head fall back before looking at him again 

“These girls asked me to go downstairs and get some extra buckets from the closet and then they pushed me in and locked the door. Apparently, I was chatting up one of their boyfriends, I didn’t know! I just- I saw his shoes and they were cool and then he told me they were custom from Etsy and I asked for the shop!! And he was so nice Buck, genuinely he was! He asked for my number just to send the link!” 

You unlock your phone and show it to him, the number isn’t even saved, just a link with a little smiley face and a “Demon Slayer shoes” and that’s it. 

“I…I tried calling May and she didn’t answer.. and I was locked in this stupid closet like I was a teenager again or something so I just…put my phone on silent and cried. And I didn’t want to call you because I would seem like such a baby. Like who still locks people in closets!” 

Buck listens to your story and he looks pissed. First of all, no one hurts his baby. Second of all… you could have died if you hadn’t picked up the phone when he called, and you almost didn’t. 

Buck does what any sensible man would do in this situation, he stands up tall, looks around for a moment 

And he kisses you. 

It’s sweet and lingering, he tilts your head up and presses his lips to yours gently. He watches the way your eyes close slowly and you kiss him back and he wishes he could just stay there forever but eventually you have to breathe and he makes you pull away, not him. 

“You want me to go find them?” He spins the ax in his hand and you snicker, shoving at his chest 

“Absolutely, let’s commit murder together!” 

“Sounds good to me sweetness” He winks and you roll your eyes, pulling away from him. He frowns a little at the loss of contact but shakes it off 

“We should probably get out of here, your family is going insane… May is really upset” 

He takes his helmet off and puts it on your head and you giggle while holding it down to tilt your head up 

“Yeah okay” 

He holds out his hand and you take it, he starts to lead you upstairs but you stop for a second, planting your feet 

“Whats wr-“

You let go of his hand and rush past him, going up a few steps and turning around to kiss him. It’s quicker this time, just a peck and he’s spiraling immediately, giggling deliriously as you jog up the stairs pulling him with you now 

The second you step out of the house, Athena is on you, frantically checking you over before crushing you in a hug, May is crying and promising she’ll never leave you alone again and you’re hugging her, trying to console her. Buck takes this time to step away and go find Eddie, you give him a little wave over May’s shoulder and he blushes, waving back. 

He nearly crashes into Eddie when he finally spots him, going running over. He’s standing in front of the truck securing the hoses 

“Eddie Eddie Eddie Eddie” His voice is high pitched and his hands are shaking. He grabs Eddie’s shoulders and starts shaking him

“Buck calm down!” He’s laughing as he pushes him back a bit, he hands him a bottle of water and Buck takes it , chugging it before tossing it into the trash 

“I can’t, oh my god I can’t, guess what?!” He squeals and Eddie snorts, shaking his head 

“What?”

“We kissed. We kissed, we kissed, we kissed!!!” He practically screams the last one and Eddie yanks him over to the other side of the truck shushing him 

“Okay- first of all, calm down. Because everyone is going to know who you kissed. What happened???”

Buck can hardly contain himself, he holds tightly onto Eddie’s arms just to keep himself from floating off into the clouds 

“Okay well she told me about these girls that bullied her and locked her in a closet. How freaking 90s teen movies is that!! And she didn’t want to call me because she thought that would make her seem like a baby but she’s not a baby Eddie she’s really not and she was starting to tear up and I couldn’t stand to see her cry so I just kissed her!!”

Buck is speaking at a million miles an hour and Eddie is nodding his head along just trying to follow his story 

“No she’s not a baby, but oh my god she could have died”

“That’s what I told her!!! And then guess what oh my god Eddie guess what”

“What?” Eddie chuckles a little at his enthusiasm, it’s endearing 

“I put my helmet on her to make her smile and it worked and I held her hand-“ His voice is becoming squeaky again “and then she let go of my hand and I was like-“ he gasps “what if I went too far??” 

“Because randomly kissing her wasn’t far but holding her hand was” Eddie says sarcastically 

“Exactly!!!” Buck points at him and he squints but goes along with it 

“She went up the stairs because you know she’s short as hell, and she kissed me again” 

Eddie’s mouth drops open and Buck literally starts jumping up and down, he does a little spin, dancing around before shaking Eddie 

“Yeah!!!!”

[mageknight14]

I made a whole Twitter thread about this a few months back but I figured that I might as well bring it here as well.

Today I want to take some time to make another NEO TWEWY analysis post on the Identity Crisis sidequest revolving around Eiru and how it actually provides extra insight into Nagi and Fret’s characters.

Basically, the main gist of the sidequest is that Nagi and Fret are debating on how to imprint confidence onto Eiru, who’s suffering with his physical insecurities, and this is where we see the differences with Nagi and Fret's philosophies on life.

Fret's response is to tell Eiru to ignore the haters and even more so, ignore confronting the insecurities; life is better when you don't have to concern yourself with anything or try; don't take anything seriously. Nagi, however, believes that insecurities should be understood and harnessed so that they can ultimately be turned into a strength that can be used as a tool for success; accept your weaknesses and come to terms with them so that you can weaponize your strengths better.

On a surface level, these might read to be the same thing. Fret’s advice can be read positively as "don't let others judge you for something you can't control" and Fret certainly thinks so, hence why he thinks that he and Nagi are on the same page even though she disagrees.

However, when you read between the lines and think about it some more, there are notable implications that Fret's advice is more of a dismissive approach to dealing with emotional struggles as opposed to Nagi's own methodology. It’s no coincidence that Fret used to be a fan of the Eiji "the Prince" Oji in his ennui/apathy phase. The Prince in the original TWEWY was beloved for his “don’t give a damn attitude” and how he expressed that both in person and in his blog “F Everything.” Fret claims to have grown out of it but with certain reveals about his character later on, there are some implications that Fret latched onto the Prince and aspired to his attitude due to his own struggles with feeling genuine and wanting to embracing apathy instead.

However, if you recall in the original game, Neku and Joshua came around and helped the Prince sort out his own issues and in the process, helped him to become more genuine and true to himself in the process. With all of this in mind, you can interpret Fret’s response as him seeing the process of the Prince’s reconciliation with his genuine emotions happening in front of him and didn’t want to confront the possibility of that happening to him as well so he "grows out of it." It also acts as a neat parallel to Neku and his own thing with CAT. Whereas Neku latched onto his misinterpretation of CAT’s words in order to cope with his trauma, Fret turned away from the Prince changing so that he wouldn’t have to deal with his own trauma just yet.

To get back to the quest, if player had decided to choose Fret's philosophy, Eiru ends up doing just that, spinning Fret's stance on the situation into self-motivating positivity. However, there's a element of emotional responsibility lacking in Fret's way of processing struggles in that he doesn't seem to have the awareness to recognize the difference between overcoming adversity and just ignoring it (or maybe he does but refuses to confront that truth). In order for someone to truly not care what other people think, they need to do what Nagi suggested first, which is to find acceptance with their insecurities and build a stronger foundation for their character through that acceptance.

If the player chose Fret's approach to solving Eiru's issue, his dialogue afterwards shows how he feels about not having to face issues head on, with Nagi lamenting that her approach was not used despite being glad that Eiru's mood was visibily improved.

I also really like this moment here for how it subtly foreshadows what caused Fret’s attitude and way of thinking to happen in the first place.

Stuff like this is why I always tend to roll my eyes whenever I hear the claim that "Nagi is mean to Fret for no reason" when moments like these show why she acts the way she does towards him: their philosophies on life are complete polar opposites.

In Nagi’s eyes, Fret acting the way he did screamed to her that he seemingly had no regard for how his attitude and actions towards others made other people feel in service of his own self-interest and she fundamentally cannot get along with other people of that nature, as shown with how she dismisses Motoi entirely off the bat when the crew first meets him because she could tell that there was something off about his attitude. However, once it was revealed that Fret’s attitude was due to him trying to unhealthily cope with his trauma and not because he was seemingly unconcerned for the feelings of others, she’s far more understandable towards him and empathizes with his grief.

That’s when Nagi learns to understand that she does not need to dismiss people right away and that they, like Fret, might be going through struggles of their own and trying to cope with it via other means, even if she doesn’t agree with it at first. Hence the friendship they start up at the end of the convo.

The characters in NEO have a lot of internal flaws they need to work through, some that might not be immediate obvious at first compared to the original, but when you look back at it all, the game goes through a lot of painstaking detail to flesh out their struggles and mindset and aspects like these is what makes the game a joy for me to replay whenever I go back to it.

[jinkiezzsstuff]

if you don’t mind me asking, when are the next installments of the transmigrated reader series coming out?

So sorry it’s taken so long! It’s been a wild couple of weeks and I’ve been jumping from fic to fic tryna get each one complete! I hope this is a satiating enough! Hopefully when life lets up a bit i can write the longer shit i like to do teehee

Transported (3)

Hazbin crew x male!reader

characters featured: Emily, Sera, Lute, Adam, Vaggie, Charlie, Sir Pentious,

part: [1] [2]

words: 1.3k

warnings: swearing, sera is implied to be kinda bad kinda a hater, adam calls you big balls little dick, male read btw, goat reader, readers implied to be tall, shortish, sir pentious is gonna be a lad, not proofread!

Standing alongside Vaggie and Charlie in the courtroom, you guitily tuned out the entire ordeal, you’d seen the scene many times before and lietened to the song on repeat, that actually was a problem as you starting singing along with the two of high made Vaggie give you a confused look. You however simply shrugged that off like it was nothing.

You waited for the scene to be set and for the three of you to be forced into the portal Adam would create and be good onto the next. However that didn’t happen, instead Sera, Lute, Emily and Adam came down in front of you Charlie and Vaggie, the other angels flying away. “So big dick goat boy, what’s the shtick with you?” Adam clicks his tongue, hands on his hips as he looks up to you, inwardly you panic but hold together, giving a quick glance over to Sera who looked quite menacing at the moment. “What do you mean?” Charlie stepped in, exhaustion lacing her tone, understandably as she just found out her girlfriend is an ex angel.

“Well it’s just that big balls little dick here is outta place, even Sera said-“ Sera promptly cut the first man off with a stern call of his name and a glare. He sulked crossing his arms and sticking his tongue out, however he kept his mouth shut. Charlie didn’t seem like she was in the mood to question what Adam was going to say, thank goodness, but Sera didn’t seem to be done. “You know, some of us were born to be, and others made to be, but none of us just appear out of thin air we all have a purpose in heaven, or hell.”

Charlie crossed her arms shrinking back, probably making the assumption the comment was about the hotel, however Sera had her sight set on you, her eyes glowing with meaning. You glanced over at Adam and Lute, Lute seemed to giving you a hard glare, but Adam didn’t seem to care scrolling through his phone. “We do all have a purpose than, even the ones who appear out of thin air may serve a purpose.” You claim wearily, yet attempt to keep your ground as your eyes bounce from person to person. Your hands shoved in your pants pockets you stood tall, horns sticking up high past your head.

“Yeah, cool, whatever-bye bitches! we’re coming straight to your hotel this extermination!” Adam broke the silence butting in, now this is what you were familiar with as the portal opened, Adam shoved you three through, Charlie freaking out and trying to get at Adam. You caught one last glimpse of Sera’s cold gaze as the portal closed, and you just know things aren’t gonna be good from here.

~

Vaggie was downstairs at the bar, not drinking but just sitting. She wish you didn’t see the way things played out, and she was embarrassed you found out she was a fallen angel too. Walking up to the bar, your hooves clopping against the ground alerted her of your presence before you slid into the barstool beside her. She didn’t bother looking up at you, or even saying anything to you, just at quietly.

She half expected you to sling out questions one by one about her being an exorcist, however you just sat quietly with her. In your mind you wanted to comfort her, but after today it would be too suspicious for you to act in a way that is too out of the ordinary, like giving the impression you’re an all knowing fortune teller. Instead you gave Vaggies back a few comforting pats, when she looked toward you, you offered a small smiled.

Vaggie seemed to appreciate the gesture smiling back and giving a nod, you’re hopefull things lighten up soon. As Vaggie went to open her mouth an inquisitive look taking over her features, the hotel doors slammed open, and in walked Angel with Alastor. “Weird there coming in together.” You mutter, giving Vaggie a look, she hummed in agreement. Angel plopped himself down on the couch, meanwhile Alastor lingered creepily in the back, close enough but still far. “So how’d things go with the holy? What’s the plan?” Angel asked lounging across the sofa, Vaggie nervously looked around scratching the back of her neck.

“We don’t…. Charlie will come up with something a big plan is going to happen.” Vaggie affirmed, out of the corner you watch Alastor fade into black goop, you already knew the plan was going to go down… but should you really intervene? It seems your presence in the show has already caused disturbances in the way things are playing out, if you stop the deal from happening who knows what crazy twist things will take.

But… you know the angels can die, which is what Alastor wants to make the deal for. In the middle of your inner battle the green shot through the room making you tense. “Too late,” You mutter watching as Vaggie run off. “What did you say bad boy?” Nifty creepily asked breathlessly, hugging the bottom of your leg. You grimaced watching as Angel gave you a look, Pentious slithering into the picture. “Nifty, invading onessss perssonal ssspacce issss very rude,” Pentious reason hissing out his words, you smile at him genuinely, watching as he tried to poke the little devil off.

She hissed like a demented animal, and clung tighter to your leg. “Don’t test her, I saw how she can be with Val.” Angel muttered, Husk who entered behind the bar not long ago spat out his drink. “Angel!” You tilted your head confused, oh right, they went to the bar, and you’re not supposed to know that. Acting confused, you attempt to save Angel the lecture of keeping his mouth shut, instead you simply bent down and tore the cyclops off you. “Hey, Pentious?” You questioned plopping Nifty down, her cackling and running off. “Yessss?” The snake hissed tilting his head, you wrapped your arm around his back guiding him away from the others. “I was curious about your inventions, and you would know better than anyone..” You trail off your hand making a circular motion as you try to find the words.

“You think Id know better than anyone?” Sir pentious said in astonishment sparkles in his eyes. You smiled at him and nodded. “Yeah, i want some scientific advice.” He clapped his hands together happily, ready to help. “Do you think it’s possible to move between like universes? Like falling into a wormhole?” You questioned as nonsuspiciously as you could, however Sir pentious was used to his egg boys madness and didn’t mind it at all. He perked up hands tapping on his lip as he though.

“I supposssse? We’d have to confirm the existenccce of other universsesss firssst.” He said matter of factly, you hummed, trying to figure out how you could question him further without him questioning you back. “I’m just really interested with theories of other life and realms, especially since finding out hells real.”

The snake nodded understandingly as he listened to your explanation, it seemed like he was trying to figure out what to say. “You know that isss quite interessssting! I’m alwayss ssso focussed on killing machinesss! I’m going to do sssome sstudying!” Pentious proclaimed finger in the air, you chuckled at his over the top reaction, but pat him on the back bidding him ado as he slithered off. Fiddling with the cuffs on your suit you wandered aimlessly back over to where Angel and Husk stayed situated.

“Heya babe~” Angel whistled at you dragging your attention away. “Yeah?” You say a little air headed like, you felt weirdly about everything especially after seeing Sera and the angels, you wonder what they saw in you that the demons couldn’t? “Wanna play a card game until the others come down?” Angel guestured over to Husk who had the cards between his claws.

Might as well relax a bit, after all it’s only a matter of time before the battle.

[matan4il]

Mile and Apo went to the Musee des Beaux Arts today. They took pics there with fans:

They were also there with Gift, maybe with one more person (whoever took this vid in which you can see her taking a pic of the boys. However, since there's no other sign of anyone being there with Mile and Apo other than Gift, and since the vid seems to be filmed from behind a glass, you can see a slight reflection in the top left side of the image, I'm more inclined for now to think it was just the three of them).

Apo was wearing a green shirt from the Decorum, a shop owned by a friend of his, and the shirt not only matches Mile's love for green (he himself was wearing a sweatshirt with a green-stemmed rose, so their clothes' color schemes once again complemented each other), it's also a shirt that Mile had a version of in black. He was seen wearing it when he was in Japan with his mother this past May.

They also had some coffee and desserts in the museum's garden cafe. But I'm not sure Gift was there with them for this part, since there seem to be only two coffee cups on the table. Two of the desserts def match Mile (pistachio cake) and Apo (croissant), and I think we all know Apo's love for more than one dessert (while letting Mile finish up what he doesn't). There is a bag on the chair opposite Mile, but it's not Gift's, hers is black. My money would be that they bought something at the museum gift shop. So they might have had a moment just for the two of them as well.

This is after Mile seemed to have been in a particularly good mood last night, after the whole group had been to the Eiffel Tower together. He shared this art piece from his hotel room, after adding a rose to it:

This was around the same time he commented the equivalent of "So damn handsome" on Apo's post.

Another thing he did yesterday was to like Apo's post on Mileapocloset's account with his personal one.

Yesterday, Mile and Apo were also at the Dior shop and they took some pics there:

I also wanna mention they both showed support for their partnership when haters online were piping up. I'm not gonna go into the details, I'll just say that a part of the beauty of their relationship, whatever its nature, is exactly in how they love, support, elevate and defend each other and their bond. Long may it thrive!

Lastly, Mile posted on IG about an upcoming Farmhouse event Mileapo will have on Oct 16. Just a small reminder that there will be life even after this Paris trip will be over. ;)

(Click here for more of my Mileapo/Kinnporsche posts)

[lesbianneopolitan]

Diary: Pseudo-Internet Angel

Since the release of KAngel's game, the "Super Cute Angel" is getting more and more famous. The game has already sold over 600,000 copies, and her Twitter account has 300,000 followers. Tonight, I got almost 10,000 likes just for complaining about Splatoon 3 when I played with P-chan. When I search for her name on internet, I see that everyone is soothed by KAngel's cuteness and is supporting her. Of course, there are also creepy haters… But I'm getting used to them and I don't mind.

That's a lie. I hope they go to hell.

Every time that KAngel's name gets bigger, I wonder what 'Ame' is. Unlike the Internet angel who brings smiles to otakus all over the world, she is an ugly lump of flesh that no one wants. Or an outlet for the desires of dirty old men. In general, she is "just a young woman". A stupid woman who is just afraid of her value fading with age. That's what it seems to me.

The people of the Internet are always looking for the "perfect idol". Just as in the past religions erased the pain of the people, today idols help us forget the sorrows of reality. KAngel is one of the idols we created. A tool that is conveniently consumed by believers who pretend to worship idols. Fortunately, now that the mediums for charging and advertising have been established, "faith" can easily be turned into money. Idols can get paid for being 'consumed'.

Isn't it a bit disturbing to exchange faith for money?

On top of that, if an idol makes a small mistake, if they show a glimpse of the "humanity they didn't want to see," people will go wild as if they have caught the head of a demon. They will beat, burn, and corner them. They cannot accept that the object of their faith is also a lump of flesh. That's why everyone hates 'Ame'. The eternal angel that fans want will not lose her mind nor cut her wrists or take excessive amounts of drugs. If she cries during a broadcast, they will mock her and accuse her of doing it for 'money farmed from the sadness'. They only see emotions as a way to collect money. It's scary.

Is it a sign of faith to not forgive God when He acts whimsically? Isn't it the right way for people to understand that even God has mood swings and whims? It's pointless because you can't say that publicly.

You don't like idols having such egos, do you, you people of little faith?

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Don’t Go Blindly Into The Dark

Summary:

To hide that he can't read, Jan Van Eck has been forcing his son to pretend he's blind since he was eight years old. Wylan is now attending Ketterdam University, and meeting Jesper Fahey may very well be about to change his life. But is he safe to tell Jesper the truth? And what will Jesper say if he does?

Jesper is struggling to weigh up his life in the Barrel and his life at the University of Ketterdam, and there's a good chance that his growing debt is about to make the decision for him. He hasn't attended class consecutively for months, but maybe that will change when his newest project includes partnering up with Wylan Van Eck. But can he really leave the Barrel behind him? And how long can he keep up the pretence of who he thinks Wylan wants him to be?

Meanwhile there is a darkness growing in Ketterdam, and it seems a killer may be stalking the streets of West Stave. An unknown evil is closing its jaws over the city, and it’s starting to feel like nowhere is safe.

Tags: @justalunaticfangirl @lunarthecorvus @i-need-help-this-is-my-obsession @devoted-people-hater

If anyone else would like to be tagged let me know :)

Content warnings for this chapter: gambling addiction, implied possible alcoholism, death references, murder/attempted murder references, child abuse references, ptsd references, weapons, implied violence

AO3 link

Chapter 64 - Jesper

Midnight was taking its own sweet time in approaching. Minutes stretched into hours as Jesper paced back and forth within the confines of his room, with every passing second getting closer to banging his head against the wall. He still wasn’t sure what had happened earlier today, but somehow or other he seemed to have once again ruined any chance he might have had with Wylan. Saints, what had he done now? 

He needed a drink. Actually, he needed about five and a few hands of hands of cards to settle the mad, fizzing nerves that were bouncing around inside of him, but Kaz had been very specific about needing a clear head for the job tonight - and very specific about what kind of mood he’d be in if Jesper fucked up again. Jesper needed to play a hand, maybe two - just for a minute or so, nothing more - to give himself time to take a breath, push away everything that happened earlier and shove it into a little lockbox at the back of his head. But he knew that if he played a drink would follow quickly after, and if he was really going to be honest with himself then he knew that would mean both of them dragging him to the threshold of midnight and the start of the parley. Even you, he told himself harshly, still pacing, are not enough of a screw up to get yourself on the end of Kaz’s knife for that. 

What time was it? Not late enough to leave yet. Jesper was losing his mind. 

How had everything become unravelled so quickly? It felt like days ago that he and Wylan had sat on the mattress in this very room, side by side, their hands intertwined, when it had been mere hours ago. I want to be something to you. Jesper almost hoped something kicked off at the parley tonight. He needed a fight to scream his head into silence. 

With the knock against his bedroom door came a relief he didn’t care to quantify; he didn’t care who might have been on the other side of it, hell even if it was an assassin at least he’d have to let his adrenaline take the reigns for a while, but he couldn’t keep racketing about in here like a sulky child. He felt like there was something banging around in his skull, hammering on his bones and demanding impatient freedom from its cage, but he had no offer of salvation to give it. 

“Hell’s the matter with you?” asked Anika, almost as soon as Jesper had opened the door. 

She leant against the frame, one hand half raised where she’d been pushing her crop of yellow hair back out of her eyes and the other spinning a knife low next to her hip. Jesper glared at her. 

“Good to see you too,” he grumbled, “Aren’t you supposed to be playing nursemaid down the hall?”

Anika grimaced, briefly catching her knife in place before starting to spin it in the other direction. For a short moment Jesper was distracted watching the fluidity of the motion, the tiny arc of the blade and the deft movement of her fingers chasing each other around the handle, like they were each running as fast as they could to catch up with the other and thus cursing each other to forever remain out of reach. 

“I thought Kaz said he was quarantining you both,” Jesper added, suddenly taking a small pace back from Ankia at that thought. 

She gave a small huff of a laugh watching him, but Jesper stood by the motion. Whatever illness Layla had been struck with, and whether it was firepox - which was what the rumours had been doom-and-gloomily reporting - or not, he didn’t fancy sharing air with the only person who’d been close to her for the entire time it had been doing its work. 

“That was an over precaution,” Anika said with a light shrug, halting her knife in the air and then moving it into the little leather sheath on her belt with unexpected gentleness, “Layla would appear to be improving, and Pietro’s in there now so you couldn’t pay me to stay,”

Good. Pietro had been a wreck ever since Layla fell ill, and he was shit at hiding it. 

“Not a firepox outbreak then,”

Anika wriggled her eyebrows almost playfully, as though referencing a joke that they were both in on as she said: 

“You missed all the fun of the Queen’s Lady, mate,” she grinned, “Trust me; if it was firepox we’d all be dead by now,”

“Cheery,” 

“That’s my specialty,”

She winked, and Jesper rolled his eyes. 

“Were you here for a reason?”

“Yeah, it’s called Brekker is the worst. We’re leaving in like…” she glanced at her watch, “Now,”

Jesper frowned, looking down at his own watch. The glass was cracked, he still hadn’t replaced it, but the hands should have been wound just fine - or close enough to just fine for the cheap piece of flash that it was. Nine bells half chime. 

“Now?”

“Now,” she repeated, already turned on heel and vanishing towards the stairs. 

Jesper grabbed his jacket and pulled it over his shoulders as he walked, pulling his rifle onto his arm shortly after, and followed her out towards the front of the Slat. This was exactly what he’d wanted, wasn’t it? But his mind was still wandering, still clinging to the feeling of Wylan’s fingers as he snatched the letter from Jesper’s hand, the blaze alight in his eyes like his glare could have torn him apart where he stood. 

Should Jesper still tell Kaz about the letter? He didn’t understand what had gone wrong, why Jesper finding the thing had made Wylan so angry, why he was so adamant to act as though it didn’t even exist, but still Wylan had not wanted anyone to know and shouldn’t he respect that? If it meant a man more than willing to have him killed knew exactly where he was? 

He definitely had to tell Kaz. But not right now - not here, with a crowd around them and Kaz buried deep in focus on the parley. As they walked down the stave there seemed to be nothing that could pull him from his thoughts, not the shouting or careening of the other Dregs across the cobbles and not even anyone directly trying to get his attention until his name had been said multiple times. He’d bring it up after the parley - it would be better to talk about it in private, and it would give him time to figure out what to say not only to Kaz, but to Wylan as well when everything predictably went south. Saints, he was really going to hate Jesper for this wasn’t he? But what else was he possibly supposed to do? Jesper had no idea how to help Wylan, he only knew that he had to - whether the merchling was going to let him or not - and that step one was keeping him as far from his father’s view as humanly possible. Even now, even now,  he wished that he was there with him. He almost thought he never should have left, no matter how many times Wylan told him to. There was no-one else, at the very least not tonight when all the Dregs would be out around the Barrel, for Wylan to turn to right now. He would just be in that room, all alone, with that letter in his hands to torture him. 

Why the hell would Van Eck have sent Wylan a letter? 

Had he been banking on someone else being there to tell Wylan that it existed, who it was from? Or was it just some kind of twisted joke, mocking Wylan in some way he wouldn’t even have known was happening without someone there to tell him? Jesper was struck by the memory of something Wylan had said in the library at the university, months ago, when they had barely known each other and Jesper had asked him why, if he hated it and wasn’t going to inherit the business anyway, he was taking an economics class. 

“It was the only thing that would make my father agree to let me come to the University. One business class. Just in case,”

“Just in case of what?” Jesper had asked, frowning, but Wylan had only flustered his way past the moment and the conversation topic had died. 

Jesper frowned, his mind tuning out from whatever Dereks was ranting on about as they walked - not that he’d really been listening in the first place. He was thinking about standing in Wylan’s room, the letter in his hand, eyes tracing the envelope. Wylan had reached out to grab it from him and Jesper had pulled it away. Twice. Wylan had reached out to grab it from him, so perfectly in line with where Jesper’s hand was that he felt the air move between them with the motion of it all. Twice. 

Jesper was being stupid. Obviously, Wylan must have heard the envelope rustling and had a good enough idea of where Jesper was to get close enough. That made sense. Didn’t it? 

Of course it did. Jan Van Eck was a piece of shit who’d pushed his son away when he lost his sight and then acted like he was sorrowful for losing him, who’d put Wylan Saints-even-knew-what-kind-of cruelties for long enough that Wylan had spent over an hour terrified of being punished for the crime of being ill, who’d hired thugs to kill him, and who apparently found it funny to mock his blind son with letters he would not be able to read. Jesper had half a mind to march straight into the Geldin District and knock down the merch’s front door, but even he had enough restraint to know that was a bad plan. He had to do something though, he knew that. It didn’t matter - he couldn’t let it matter - if Wylan argued with him over it. It didn’t matter if Wylan never spoke to him again, so long as he made sure he’d be safe. Jesper knew that now. He knew with unyielding surety that there was nothing more important to him than that. 

The clock above the exchange had crawled past ten bells by the time it came into view. Would the Black Tips be out yet, preparing themselves at the opposite door? Jesper rolled his shoulders, the feeling of his rifle adjusting against his back a welcome comfort to pair with the sleek form of his revolvers beneath his palms. He had given up his guns to help Wylan just weeks after they had met, and he knew that he would do it again - a thousand times over - now, if he had to. Wylan didn’t like accepting help, something else Jesper felt at least  somewhat inclined to blame Van Eck for, and maybe this wouldn’t end well for things between them. But Jesper would do it, over and over again, if it meant he knew he’d be okay. He had to. He didn’t know what else to do. 

“You gonna tell us why we’re here this early then, Brekker?”

“We’re being prepared,” Kaz’s voice was rough but clipped, as though it had been trimmed into shape with a blunted pair of scissors, “and we’re setting up an out. I want you all listening out for trouble, and once the three of us are inside I want the rest of you stationed round the building. We’re here to organise, and to get ahead. If there’s a fight coming tonight, we’ll be prepared to meet it,”

“You think there will be?” asked Pim. 

“You ain’t worried about a little tiff with Geels of all people, are you Dirtyhands?” Bolliger, a bouncer from the Crow Club who Kaz had chosen as his other second tonight, teased - and rather boldly, if Jesper had an opinion on it. 

Kaz glanced at him, eyes flat and dark like a predator about to sink its teeth deep into its prey. 

“I worry about everything, Bolliger. That’s why I’m still alive,”

[texanmedicdutton]

WHERE: Huntsville Cemetery WHO: Julie ( @callofthxvoid )

Zel was following Julie through the cemetery, hoping no one would mind that they were also being followed by two ducks. Bending down to scoop up both considering Tele seemed to be having trouble with his fake foot today. If there was ever a time to need an emotional support duck, today felt like the day. "You think she'd mine that we have ducks with us? She wasn't like secretly a duck hater right?" It was his poor attempt to lighten the mood, a nervous habit of needing to fill the empty air.

[needyraincandy-u]

Diary: Pseudo-Internet Angel

Since the release of KAngel's game, the "Super Cute Angel" is getting more and more famous. The game has already sold over 600,000 copies, and her Twitter account has 300,000 followers. Tonight, I got almost 10,000 likes just for complaining about Splatoon 3 when I played with P-chan. When I search for her name on internet, I see that everyone is soothed by KAngel's cuteness and is supporting her. Of course, there are also creepy haters… But I'm getting used to them and I don't mind.

That's a lie. I hope they go to hell.

Every time that KAngel's name gets bigger, I wonder what 'Ame' is. Unlike the Internet angel who brings smiles to otakus all over the world, she is an ugly lump of flesh that no one wants. Or an outlet for the desires of dirty old men. In general, she is "just a young woman". A stupid woman who is just afraid of her value fading with age. That's what it seems to me.

The people of the Internet are always looking for the "perfect idol". Just as in the past religions erased the pain of the people, today idols help us forget the sorrows of reality. KAngel is one of the idols we created. A tool that is conveniently consumed by believers who pretend to worship idols. Fortunately, now that the mediums for charging and advertising have been established, "faith" can easily be turned into money. Idols can get paid for being 'consumed'.

Isn't it a bit disturbing to exchange faith for money?

On top of that, if an idol makes a small mistake, if they show a glimpse of the "humanity they didn't want to see," people will go wild as if they have caught the head of a demon. They will beat, burn, and corner them. They cannot accept that the object of their faith is also a lump of flesh. That's why everyone hates 'Ame'. The eternal angel that fans want will not lose her mind nor cut her wrists or take excessive amounts of drugs. If she cries during a broadcast, they will mock her and accuse her of doing it for 'money farmed from the sadness'. They only see emotions as a way to collect money. It's scary.

Is it a sign of faith to not forgive God when He acts whimsically? Isn't it the right way for people to understand that even God has mood swings and whims? It's pointless because you can't say that publicly.

You don't like idols having such egos, do you, you people of little faith?

[foxluvrz]

11/19/24:

algebra: okay so i dont remember a lot from this morning except already before classes even started, 🦔 seemed in a much better mood today and was pretty friendly towards me, as well as two of my friends i was with at the time; p and e. thiugh, this i felt sort of bad about but it was absolutely hilarious in the moment is that my friend L was running late and she had gone home sick the day before, so 🦔 assumed she wouldn't be here today; but she did end up coming in before he took attendance. but as he was taking attendance he wss like, "so no L today, right? she went home early yesterday" and like me, p, AND L all like agreed with him thinking he was joking around because he does that alot, turns iut he WASN't and when he stood up to start class he sootted her and had to go back to fix it😭 it was actually hilarious but yeah. another thing that 🦔 did today that was actually awesome and i love him for is the fact that he gave us each numbers to put us into griups, but he counted a specific way so that L and i would be put into the same group even though we sit right next to eachother.. which is honestly pretty epic of him. a small thing though that happened while he was counting us into groups is when he reached me to count "5", he like pushed down sort of hard on my shoulder cause he was directly next to me standing up, and i dont know. it wasnt necessarily like a "harder" push, but like it was more forced pressure rather than just a light tap on my shoulder and i dont know, is it strange i didnt really back down/away from it? i've wrote a multitude of times about how nervous i am to be around him or in his presence, but i think that if i'm like sat down, i feel a lot more comfortable for some strange reason. i think it's because i feel more secure without the chance of like stumbling or something. i really dont wanna say something wack like "the more 🦔 touches me the more comfortable i become" because that honestlt sounds so weird both in and out of context, but like, i guess it's trye in a way?.. i know me standing next to him is scary, but when he like taps me or like comes in ever so slight contact with me on purpose, i don't feel as much fear as i should at all. also another thing is my ex bestfriend C like talked back to him or something during a game we were playing (honestly yeah she's sort of bitchy and like idk rbf personality tbh) and he like had her go iut in the hallway with him at the end of class and like asked her why she had such negativity towards him, which i dont believe she actually does; she just comes across that way and didnt mean it as talking back; so i sorta feel bad.

lunch: okay so this stuff specifically happened during lunch when me, R, and later V/J were in 🐢's room. basically, 🐢 is a d1 HATER of pokemon sun and moon series, as well as like the entire ides of ash and like all his pokemon. 🐢 believes that the only purpose of pokemon is to battle and evolve them, and if they dont/wont evolve, you should just get rid of them. and it was silly because we were talking about like what i thought the point of it was which i answered "idk, creating a bond slash friendship" which let me tell you🐢 DISAGREES HEAVILY with that.. uhm but yeah!! we talked abt pokemon lots more and how 🐢 seems like the tyoe to abuse his pokemon to which HE ADMITTED TO?? and then we went to the tipic of how its crazy that the parents in pokemon let their kids just go out ariund the world with strangers and pokemon and idek😭 this next bit was small and i dont remember it exactly but it was silly, 🐢 said something about something being *insert adjective* and i turned to R and like said something about it and then like nudged my head towards 🐢 motioning that the adj described him more then anything and when 🐢 that he thought i was saying R was it so he went "woah!! now we know what 👽 really thinks of R" to which i was like "oh yeah.. definitelyyy talking about R rn.." staring intensely at him to tell him i was talking about HIM and not R and i think/hope he got it because he started laughing at it a bit😭😭 anyways i let R try some of my tomato soup and he didnt put the lid all the way back on so some of it spilt on the table so i grabbed the crappy like brown oaper towels because that's all i could see and freaking 🐢 was joking abt it and i was like "these dont soak up ANYTHING bro." and he said "well yeah, theyre not mesnt to soak up soup" SHUT UPPP‼️‼️THIS MAN IS LITERALLY MY BIGGEST OP./j. anyways he told me where normal paper towels were after like FOREVER. and idk exactly but i think i threw something and missed terribly? But 🐢 said "wow 👽, no wonder you dont do any sports." WHAT. THIS MAN JUST CALLED ME UNATHLETIC WHAT DID I DO TO HIM. it was rlly funny and i made it worse because i tried throwing something at my friend and msised horribky and i was like "I SWEAR I DID SOFTBALL." and he was like "and how long ago was that?" and i answered "..i dont wanna answer that.." to which he asked "and did you actually throw the ball or did u pick at dandelions" AND I ACTUSLLY DID THROW THE BALL. And i said that and he seemed suprised asf😭 anyways there was a teensy bit more squabble but yeah and at the end i was like "hey 🐢, has anyone told yiu you're very unkind?" and he was like "yeah actually a lot of people have" DAMN. The grinch fr i fear💔 ALSO HES LETTING ME PAINT ONE OF THE LIKE FANBLADES IN HIS CLASSROOM ON THE CEILING FAN SO YIPPEE‼️‼️

i love 🐢 he's my dad pretty much😋

[ask-serendipity-sky]

Debunk this if you can. This person is speaking facts

"jikookers have started entertaining this theory that jungkook is super loud about jimin/jikook while jimin is super cautious and shuts down jikook as much he can, but that seems like such an odd misrepresentation of current events to me. and even amongst more reasonable jikookers it’s catching on as some kind of established fact. in all of jungkook’s recent lives, he doesn’t really talk about jimin at all. he hasn’t told us anything new or recent about jimin. other than elaborating on the rainy day fight (which was an event that took place years ago), he reacts to his content and that’s about it — which is sweet to see, but not particularly romantic. in his lives, jimin doesn’t “shut down” jikook per se but just doesn’t answer questions about jungkook with what shippers want him to hear (that he saw jungkook recently, that he visited jungkook’s place, that jungkook finally made him ramyeon). he’s just answering with what i would assume to be the truth. the last time we saw jikook interact face-to-face was at hoseok’s enlistment send-off, and jimin hugged jungkook so enthusiastically that he got harassment accusations lmfao. before that, it was during the smf pt.2 dance practice posted to bangtantv where jimin asked jungkook to come visit again. jungkook actually said “no” to that, either jokingly or not, but we don’t know if he visited again and that refusal doesn’t sound promising to me. but my point is that jimin’s actions there — when jikook interact in person — are not those of someone who’s being super careful about not letting his affection toward jungkook show. in his last live i’m pretty sure he called jungkook cute, too. all in all, they’re acting as friends do... there’s nothing really all that unbalanced about it. they’re just not acting as lovers probably would. whatever relationship jikook have right now — one that i’m pretty sure is not romantic (or no longer romantic) — it doesn’t seem one-sided to me at all. jungkook can watch all the jimin content he wants; he still didn’t physically show up for jimin at his shoots or recordings like yoongi and hoseok did. he didn’t know what his recording schedule for award show performances would be at all, actually. jimin doesn’t really mention jungkook without being prompted, but he’s certainly not “shutting down jikook” or he wouldn’t act the way he does when they see each other in person. jungkook hasn’t cooked jimin that ramyeon recipe despite them talking about it twice, but it doesn’t sound like jimin has taken initiative there either. jikookers will forget anything that doesn’t line up with their current conception of them."

Hi anon,

This is really weird. If you don't care about Jikook why did you write a novel about them? Just move on.

You had to share this in every Jikook blog since your post doesn't get views in your hater blog, huh? Luckily for you, I am in a bad mood today so I will break down this down so you can shoo away.

Haters are more obsessed with Jikook than we are, for reals.

Debunk this if you can. This person is speaking facts I dont know why I have to debunk someone's THOUGHTS because we are free to think what we want but ok? And thoughts are thoughts NOT FACTS.

"jikookers have started entertaining this theory that jungkook is super loud about jimin/jikook while jimin is super cautious and shuts down jikook as much he can, but that seems like such an odd misrepresentation of current events to me. -All of this is wrong. I don't know a single Jikooker that says that. I think Jungkook is loud and Jimin doesn't shut down Jikook. But you know who says stuff like this? Haters like you. But at the end of the day, I don't care what others think.

and even amongst more reasonable jikookers it’s catching on as some kind of established fact. in all of jungkook’s recent lives, he doesn’t really talk about jimin at all. he hasn’t told us anything new or recent about jimin. -Jungkook doesn't talk about Jimin at all? Is your sound on when you watch the lives? He has definitely told us about UPCOMING Jimin things.

Spoilers for Set Me Free pt.2

Spoiler for Letter

Spoiler for Angel pt.2

other than elaborating on the rainy day fight (which was an event that took place years ago), he reacts to his content and that’s about it — which is sweet to see, but not particularly romantic. -Personally, I find the stuff that Jk is doing insanely romantic. Gosh, seriously?

You don't think Jk being enchanted by Jimin is romantic at all? (Even his body language shows it.)

Or how he smiles when he says his name?

Or how he worries about Jimin?

Or how he will make us all, haters included (even you) sit there and watch Jimin content with him?

Do you have a stones in your heart?

in his lives, jimin doesn’t “shut down” jikook per se but just doesn’t answer questions about jungkook with what shippers want him to hear (that he saw jungkook recently, that he visited jungkook’s place, that jungkook finally made him ramyeon). he’s just answering with what i would assume to be the truth. -I dont know about others, but I dont expect to hear that Jikook is hanging out. I don't even want to hear it. Look, I am more than happy knowing that Jikook is happy together somewhere. I don't need them to prove it to me because they don't owe me or any of us anything. I want them to be safe and happy. I'm not upset at the lives at all. Jikookery is still happening. I don't assume everything to be the complete truth. Like I said, they need to be safe and happy and ommition of some truths could be needed for that.

the last time we saw jikook interact face-to-face was at hoseok’s enlistment send-off, and jimin hugged jungkook so enthusiastically that he got harassment accusations lmfao. -Well, there you go, they were completely open there and Jimin got those nasty accusations. I rather them not show us anything in order for the parasites to not have any content on which to feed on. Oh anon, are you hungry?

before that, it was during the smf pt.2 dance practice posted to bangtantv where jimin asked jungkook to come visit again. jungkook actually said “no” to that, either jokingly or not, but we don’t know if he visited again and that refusal doesn’t sound promising to me. -Read this:

but my point is that jimin’s actions there — when jikook interact in person — are not those of someone who’s being super careful about not letting his affection toward jungkook show. in his last live i’m pretty sure he called jungkook cute, too. -Well, then you haven't seen enough Jikook to know what they are capable of doing. And be thankful for that because then you will write a 10 page essay on why Jikook is not real.

all in all, they’re acting as friends do... there’s nothing really all that unbalanced about it. they’re just not acting as lovers probably would. Sure, anon. Because I also sit and watch videos about my friends and go into an enchanted like state and smile at just the thought of them. And I also grab their privates, and check them out as they are leaving. Yeah, because that's what friends do.

whatever relationship jikook have right now — one that i’m pretty sure is not romantic (or no longer romantic) — it doesn’t seem one-sided to me at all. jungkook can watch all the jimin content he wants; he still didn’t physically show up for jimin at his shoots or recordings like yoongi and hoseok did. he didn’t know what his recording schedule for award show performances would be at all, actually. -What if I told you he did attend? And your thoughts are irrelevant because Jikook will do whatever they want even if you are sure of your absurd thoughts.

jimin doesn’t really mention jungkook without being prompted, but he’s certainly not “shutting down jikook” or he wouldn’t act the way he does when they see each other in person. -You do know that Jimin picks the questions, right? That he could pick 1000s of others but he picked all the Jk related ones? Again, I dont know a single person who says that Jimin shuts down Jikook.

jungkook hasn’t cooked jimin that ramyeon recipe despite them talking about it twice, but it doesn’t sound like jimin has taken initiative there either. jikookers will forget anything that doesn’t line up with their current conception of them." -You do remember the btb for Hobi's enlistment, right? Where they had been together the night before drinking? Maybe they haven't had ramen but you do know that it's not the only food in the world, right? This is all speculation but they can eat anything. The only people angry about the ramen answers are nonJikookers. The ones I know were like "ok".

To be honest, I dont even know what the point of all this ask was. To debunk Jikook? In a Jikook blog...

Look, I don't like wasting my time on things that don't make sense. Yeah, I allow myself delulu thoughts for fun but then I chill and get my head out of the clouds.

You've probably never read my blog but I question random little things about Jikook because for me everything has to make sense.

I have views that other Jikookers don't have because I'm hypercritical and don't romanticize everything. You have to view things with a neutral head. Yours is clouded already. Which is why I dont trust a single thing you've said and I don't trust the majority of people either.

I like things where I have results then I can draw conclusions. This is the way my brain was trained. From what I can see, Jikook is fine at the moment. The evidence is there.

If I have a Jikook blog, it's because I observed and believe they are into each other. The moment I see things changing, I question everything because I'm not going to stick to something that is not real. If I conclude they are not real, I will close this blog and focus on Jimin only. So you coming here to debunk with word soup does nothing.

So how about you debunk all this, anon? Instead of saying only thoughts without 0 evidence.

Thank you for stopping by. Please don't come again.

[singsweetmelodies]

just wanted to say that your charlos tags on the notp post were a WHOLE ASS MOOD

like i can't deny the chemistry because i'd have a lifetime supply of smoothies from the level of 🍓🍊🍌🥝🍇 in those c2 videos. but i just cannot indulge in it whatsoever

i can't even point to a specific moment that turned me from 'oh they have a fun teammate dynamic!' to a full-blown hater ('hater' is a bit strong but close enough) but it must've been something to do with the fans...

anyways, just wanted to express my gratitude for those tags. nice to know that i'm not alone

darling anon!! thank you so much for this ask - and oh, bestie, you are definitely not alone. you are so not alone, and i am actually hugging you rn, because it's always fab to find someone who agrees with your ship opinion 👌 sorry to the charlos fans out there, but it just can't be for us. #rip

and that third paragraph of yours - ah, man, i feel you so much. i also used to genuinely enjoy their teammate dynamic a lot (loved watching the c2 challenges, etc etc.) and i also can't quite point to a specific moment when this changed? but i do know the general themes about it, and since i had an incredibly long exhausting day at work today, i'm quite in the mood to rant about them. i will do so under the cut, though, lmao, because goodness knows i'm in a petty mood tonight.

any and all passionate charlos or just carlos sainz fans - please do not click on the readmore, because i'm not going to be terribly nice to your fav here, i'm afraid 🙃

so for me, when i first got into f1, it wouldn't have been inaccurate to say that i kinda loved carlos sainz. i loved the carlando/mclaren videos, and i loved the c2 challenges. he's funny, and he's pretty, and he has a cute dog, and he drives for ferrari... what more could you want?

the thing is, though. i am a charles girlie first and foremost. even though i liked carlos, he was never on the same level as charles for me. especially not in terms of driving - because, well, just look at the start of the 2022 season. enough said.

what started getting to me was that group of passionate carlos fans (the carlos girlies) who seemed to seriously think that carlos is a better driver than charles. they would slander charles and call him an inconsistent/reckless driver, while saying carlos was so much better. obviously, this rubbed me up quite the wrong way. and then at the same time, i was seeing carlos on my screen giving interviews where he would insist that if he'd had a few more laps, he would have overtaken max's red bull. like... i'm sorry, but that was never going to happen. in any world. pffft. (my thoughts at this point went: arrogant! he thinks he's better than he actually is.)

so that got me to like carlos himself a little less, which obviously has an influence on the ship as a whole. i mean, it would be hard to like a ship if you only really like one of the two partners in it, right? right? this is what i've always thought, anyway... except that a lot of charlos shippers seem to like carlos a lot more than charles. which is to say: in so many of their fics/characterisations, it's all glorifying carlos, while charles is essentially his arm candy with all the character depth of a rather pretty paper cutout. less than ideal...

the last thing, and perhaps the pettiest of all, lmao, is just that i'm incredibly possessive and insane about piarles. i acknowledge it. in fact, i fully own it. they are my ship, and i want them and only them to be endgame, always. now, obviously i don't expect everyone to agree with me 😂😂 but i don't particularly want to be seeing any content on my dash that features charles/anyone other than pierre as an endgame ship. and charlos usually is portrayed as an endgame ship/they're meant for each other etc. etc. well, sorry. to me, charles is meant for pierre, and pierre only. charlos is out. the end 🫶