#in a growth way and a grief way
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I think sometimes the utter tragedy of wei wuxians death is sort of drowned out by the fact that he gets resurrected. even before finishing the show and learning that he finds happiness again, you go into his death scene already knowing that he comes back. which is part of the genius of the story of course but also when you take the entire nevernight sequence and think about it within a reality in which wei wuxian is never resurrected, it presents a new and raw sort of heartbreak
#nevernight is heartbreaking and gut wrenching and painful#but in the back of your mind you still always know that he comes back#so you still feel hope#but there is so much grief in the fact that for 16 years#that night was the last he ever had#the end#dying was the last decision he made#I feel like theres so much sadness in that#in watching the sequence at nevernight and thinking about it as if there is no second chance#and I think that healing postres means so much more when it exists under the assumption that wei wuxian could have just been dead forever#anyway. thinking about him a lot#and also thinking about suicide a lot#not in a suicidal way don't worry#in a growth way and a grief way#the way I do every december#ghost posts#text#wwx
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It’s easier with people around you. To make you feel more like you.
#critical role#ygifs#cr2#yasha#honestly what's the point in gifs when your heart can’t wrench from the crack in her voice#anger is an emotion I know how to deal with because thats where I live just. just. completely.#the way that grief is the soil of rage will never not be with me#yasha not being present for the majority and yet her entire character arc and growth being so powerful and purposeful I just#their love never leaving her even when she was lost and their love embracing her back just as fiercely#loss and grief and guilt and loneliness and rage and c2 really said we will keep you still and your hair will grow white again
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This fandom gets more bent out of shape and upset about that entrapment line than Penelope herself does
one day peeps who get soooo mad at Colin for very easily understandable statements will finally just admit that they don't like him instead of twisting into pretzels to justify why they're so angry at him. y'all don't like him, but Penelope does. she loves him and tries to understand him, she was upset that she hurt him and she extended empathy to him in light of such, which is why her only response to it is 'I didn't mean to trap you, Colin, I love you', and YOUR response is to write fic after fic foaming at the mouth blowing a singular statement out of proportion and using a meangirl Fanon Penelope as a mouthpiece for your own bitterness
Penelope Bridgerton loves Colin. And knows she's hurt him and wants to heal that hurt. She wouldn't vibe with a fanbase who demonizes him the way we have
#polin#penelope bridgerton#colin bridgerton#bridgerton#if i see another stupid fic about 'oh she should call off the wedding!' i may scream#y'all don't understand this couple#it's all 'oh forgiveness and growth and having empathy and understanding!!!' when it comes to any other character#but colin says ONE thing that isn't perfect in his spiral of grief learning he'd been lied to and hurt by the woman he loves#and suddenly it's 'she should call it off!!!!!'#this fandom BEEN used Penelope as a sock puppet to voice their fury and immaturity about conflict#anyone who hurts her feelings (whether that's in response to her hurtful actions first or otherwise)? THROW THEM AWAY#like that's not how love works#that's not how relationships work#this fandom loooooves talking about healthy our couple is and then write them in a way where she's emotionally abusive to him#miss me with all that mess#penelope bridgerton is hissing at y'all
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Have we thought about the idea that maybe Eddie sends Chris away rather than Chris wanting to leave??
Eddie feeling like he keeps messing everything up - messing up his son’s life - that he’s destroyed his soul - and so thinks sending Chris away is what’s best for Chris??
#because it’s what Eddie would do - think that Chris is better off with out him - that his parents were right all along and Chris should be#with them#and I think Buck would support it - thinking it’s a way to give Eddie some space to get the help he needs so he can move forward and build#a new and stronger relationship with Chris - one where he doesn’t feel like he’s trying to make up for something#thinking thoughts#I don’t like them#but I could very much see this happening - it’s a version of fight club - Eddie hurts himself and sacrifices in the most brutal way possible#but ultimately it will be healing for him and allow him to go through the grief and growth he needs to - that he’s been denied by#circumstance and by himself - so that he can move forward and start a fresh#911 spoilers#eddie diaz#Christopher Diaz#911 abc
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Imagine this: After the Driftmark Incident, Corlys takes Luke and Rhaena on a sea voyage to learn what it means to be true Velaryons of sea and salt. Laenor also tags along instead of following through with the plan to fake his death because he wants to keep a protective eye on his son and his sister's daughter, Rhaena. Cue a family sea trip where Laenor healthily processes his grief, Coryls learns to understand his son better, Luke builds a name for himself by taking up swashbuckling, and Rhaena becomes a rogue seafaring Targaryen.
#house of the dragon#rhaena targaryen#lucerys velaryon#corlys velaryon#laenor velaryon#we can call it DRAGON'S ODYSSEY#it would be a journey of self-discovery and coming of age for rhaena and luke#can someone write this WITHOUT bashing laena or rhaenyra or their children?#years later and luke and rhaena come back all grown up and badasses#luke hit a growth spurt and he's as tall and muscular as his father#rhaena is still a sweetheart but she's more hardened and adventurous and took up water dancing#laenor handles his grief in a more healthy way and has familial support#corlys heals his estranged relationship with laenor
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Sam leaned against her, resting his head on her shoulder. "When we die, do you think we'll be punished for the things we've done?"
She looked at the far bank of the river, where a row of ramshackle houses and docks had been built. "When we die," she said, "I don't think the gods will even know what to do with us."
Sam glanced at her, a hint of amusement shining in his eyes.
Celaena smiled at him, and the world, for one flickering heartbeat, felt right.
"For whatever it's worth, I don't think you would destroy the world from spite." His voice turned hard. "But I also think you like to suffer. You collect scars because you want proof that you are paying for whatever sins you've committed. And I know this because I've been doing the same damn thing for two hundred years. Tell me, do you think you will go to some blessed Afterworld, or do you expect a burning hell? You're hoping for hell--because how could you face them in the After-world? Better to suffer, to be damned for eternity and--"
"That's enough," she whispered. She must have sounded as miserable and small as she felt, because he turned back to the worktable.
She shut her eyes, but her heart was thundering.
She didn't know how much time passed. After a while, the mattress shifted and groaned, and a warm body pressed against hers. Not holding her, just lying beside her. She didn't open her eyes, but she breathed in the smell of him, the pine and snow, and her pain settled a bit.
"At least if you're going to hell," he said, the vibrations in his chest rumbling against her, "then we'll be there together."
"I feel bad for the dark god already." He brushed a large hand down her hair, and she almost purred. She hadn't realized just how much she missed being touched--by anyone, friend or lover.
'I miss you,' she said. 'Every day, I miss you. And I wonder what you would have made of all this. Made of me. I think - I think you would have been a wonderful king. I think they would have liked you more than me, actually. Her throat tightened. 'I never told you - how I felt. But I loved you, and I think a part of me might always love you. Maybe you were my mate, and I never knew it. Maybe I'll spend the rest of my life wondering about that. Maybe I'll see you again in the Afterworld, and then I'll know for sure. But until then ... until then I'll miss you, and I'll wish you were here.
“We do not look back, Chaol. It helps no one and nothing to look back. We can only go on.”
There she was, that queen looking out at him, a hint of the ruler she was becoming. And it knocked the breath out of him, because it made him feel so strangely young—when she now seemed so old. “What if we go on,” he said, “only to more pain and despair? What if we go on, only to find a horrible end waiting for us?”
Aelin looked northward, as if she could see all the way to Terrasen. “Then it is not the end.”
"Aelin, you deserve better than this- than me."
"Don't tell me what I do and don't deserve. Don't tell me about tomorrow, or the future, or any of it." He took her hand, her fingers were cold-shaking slightly.
What do you want me to tell you, Fireheart?
"Tell me that we'll get through tomorrow. Tell me that we'll survive the war. Tell me-" She swallowed hard.
"Tell me that even if I lead us all to ruin, we'll burn in hell together."
"We're not going to hell, Aelin. But wherever we go, we'll go together.
#Sarah J. Maas#SJM#Maasverse#Rowan Whitethorn#Aelin Galathynius#rowaelin#Celaena Sardothien#Sam Cortland#samlaena#Chaol Westfall#Chaolaena#TOG#Throne of Glass#Throne of Glass series#Heir of Fire#Queen of Shadows#The Assassin’s Blade#scene paralells#chapter paralells#do books have scenes?#TOG series#TAB#Fireheart#ships#many soulmates#through a series#Rowan takes care of her like she took care of Sam and I think he’d be thankful for that they both understand grief and love in this life#which is what she teaches Chaol the difference in Rowan is they understand already and already know they just help eachother feel safe#& Rowan always believes in her the way he cares for her is precious but he also believes in her before even she does he knows she can & the#assurance that she's not a monster or damned or burning the world in spite it says a lot to the character psyche & foundations / growth
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3 years. 1095 days. We don’t measure grief in time but maybe we should. 1577880 minutes. Where time seems to slip and crawl lingering on what ifs before speed running backwards to the worst moment of your life when the night opens the door to sorrow as you sleep. Lisa’s heart has beaten 94 million times since Becky’s stopped. And yet if you had asked her it hadn’t beat at all.
Not until Carla. A small flicker of a beat, so out of the new normal that Lisa can dismiss it as an anomaly. Then it happens again. And it becomes harder to ignore. Suddenly she starts feeling the beats. And time is beginning to become meaningful. The grief doesn’t dissipate, but the time feels easier to hold - a trickle of steadiness.
But the car. The pain. The bruising. The accusations. Set the incident clock back to zero. The grief becomes torrential. And all Carla can do is watch. Because we don’t measure grief in time, and Carla knows this too well, because she can tell you how long it’s been since Liam. And knows that time and grief are only ever soothed by support & love. But only once you accept it, Lisa just isn’t quite there yet.
#the liam parallel through all of this is SOOOOO#the way these women mirror each other in so many ways#but in completely different stages of their own grief and growth#i’m gonna frow up
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Allow the small shifts to add up.
#own your power#self positivity#self respect#growth#dealing with grief#self postivity#self confidence#self care#self compassion#journal#writerscorner#the artists way#morning pages#mindfulmoments#a journey to love#motivation#inspiring quotes#yogainspiration#journal thoughts#unicornthoughts#eat pray love#faith in god
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so it's like this.
you're young and you're scared and you're trapped in the feywild (happens to the best of us) with the love of your life. You're a half-elf and she's a fullblooded elf but you don't think about it very much because you're barely surviving day to day. And you get offered a deal to get yourself home again, and you take it. And the price of your freedom is that you leave her still trapped there, alone.
And then five years pass. And you age a century in that time, and you grow, and you change, and you find her again, and you're still in love, and you meet people, and you lose people, and you love them too, and you learn, and you start wanting a future again, and caring again, taking care of yourself, taking care of other people--
and after all of that, at the end of things, you find out the man responsible for all of the misery in your short, sad life has cast a spell which gives him complete control and ownership of you- mind, body, and soul (again. this happens to the best of us). And you are given the choice to stay under his thrall, and live a thousand years-- or to age and die, like humans do, and to be free of him.
And the love of your life is there, and you're married now, and she's still a full blooded elf, and you're still a half-elf, and you think about what that means a lot more than you used to.
And still, after everything you've learned-- you choose your freedom. You choose leaving her behind.
#dnd#dungeons & dragons#ttrpg#you understand why i am insane. about my dungeons and dragons character#the way that this all started because 'she' (clone. its a long story) wanted to be free from her small town & her family's ideas of her#and so she inadvertently left THEM all behind too.#like bro watch out i think the cycle is repeating itself!!!!!!!!!#honestly girlie has to learn that passing out of someone's life is not always a betrayal#like she NEVER got over it!#giving pesche a whole speech about how loss leaves a hole behind that is filled in by rage & grief & impulse & violence like#ok. well. loss is inevitable and i think you have a very fucked up way of looking at it that despite all of your personal growth has maybe#only gotten worse over time because now you have things you care about again?#like i think she made the right choice for herself.... if the lesson she had 'learned' was to subjugate herself to Ohdran for 900 years in#the name of not 'leaving people' again. that would have been tragic. learning that love is good and precious and it matters even though#you are inevitably going to lose it. thats the real lesson. and she is learning it. she HAS learned it! she's never going to hide herself#away from the world to avoid losing people again. but she hasn't like... attached the lesson to herself yet lol. 'i accept i might lose my#friends & even though it breaks my heart im still glad to know them. if i leave people (read: LITERALLY DIE) im evil tho.' girl...#i was pretty bummed about it at the time like we have been 3 years on the endless train of suffering cant she just have a happy ending.#one thousand years of elf marriage.#but this is cool too like MAN the kind of organic storytelling moments that evolve out of ttrpgs are so crazy. we couldnt have planned this#and yet. perfect full circle moment.#mm campaign#it's alive!#harris#fisher
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when ur in a “cannibalism as a metaphor for love” competition, and ur opponent is a mahoyakkie
#its almost unhealthy how much i think abt it w my yume#but also j in general w the context of the mahoyaku universe#esp w mainsto2 developments#consumption as a way of strength and protection (mithra)#consumption as a means of growth and longing (mitile)#a refusal to consume due to reverance (rutile)#the game deals w lost love and grief so ridiculously well#and the implications of what happens after death#theres no real point to this post bc im typing this at 8 in the morning over breakfast but#ive been thinking abt mhyk a lot
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thinking about the unforgiving nature of the passage of time
#just realized that i've probably rocked my baby boy to sleep for the last time without realizing jt#he's three right now and so fucking big#when did he get so big?#everytime i used to watch him when he was a baby i'd put the same lullaby on and rock him to sleep#he'd tuck his little head against my neck and i'd just rock him#tonight i picked him up and he had a growth spurt so he doesn't quite fit the way he used to#but he still cuddled close and hugged me tight while i rocked him#had to put him down and tuck him in so he could actually sleep comfortably though#long gone are the days where he'd drift off comfortably on me then i'd go around cleaning things up while holding him in one hand#god#i dont miss the person i used to be#i'm glad for the time passing for that much#i've learned to stop drowning in the waves of grief#learned how to cup it before it can grow. to say 'i know this hurts and i'm sorry it does. let's sit in it together.'#learned how to mourn without swandiving into a lake of self pity#but for all i've changed in the past few years so has everyone else#the kids have grown up. all of them were so little and are now at such different stages of their little lives#and i'm grateful to be a part of their story but damn it's so bittersweet#anyways i'm rambling and probably incoherent i'm just overly emotional about this
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I've said this before but as much as I was screaming at my screen, this is an opportunity for ttj to raise roots somewhere that not only includes the love of his life but also relationships without ridonkulous power imbalances among a supportive community and a new way of life outside the expectations set upon him since birth. who knows, maybe he'll choose to embrace his devil god fate lord knows the tension would not only be palpable but sexy af or maybe he'll become the supreme ultimate botanical sword master but he finally gets to be an active agent of his own life, choosing people, values, and goals for his own future, and hopefully, his journey (and lss's own growth returning + learning her identity) will reunite them knowing they're stronger, happier, and simply uplift each other when together. ttj's enduring love surmounted death and five centuries of agony to bring him to her place in the immortal realm, now it's up to them to figure themselves out and truly make it their home.
#till the end of the moon#I can see ttj becoming a devil god who's more devoted to his space goddess heiress/overseeing mortal trials than wreaking havoc#or embracing the cang jiumin persona to continue to fight fate itself and defeat the devil god with lss#whatever it is I see a transformation which could foster healthier yet equally passionate love and fulfillment down the line#with room for classic ttj unhinged dramatics ofc hehe#just gotta wait for the fluffy mushy pursual scenes that should come in the meantime bc w/o them my nerves might kill me 🙃#or maybe lovelorn/yearning lyx visuals will get me through#LMAO either way cackling at my irritation w/ this devil business parting them in a drama about a girl conflicted about loving a devil god#and my weird faith that this show ends happy - for all I know lss ends up killing ttj for real & I'll live the rest of my life hollow??#like he loves her till his last breath thinking it was really unrequited & she lives on in guilt/grief for the greater good till her time?#or he regresses and rages against her denial and ends up destroying the immortal sects and they lose each other?#I don't see it but#how fucked up would that be??#omg what if he sacrifices himself protecting the immortal realm bc he's learned to love the world as she does 😭 like a bittersweet ending#okay I'm rambling and stressing myself out more - bottom line: ttj might have some growth and maybe lss too#ranting#edit: the way I was correct and incorrect in the worst ways
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Might rant Abt this so bear with me but what Uthred and alfred had but lesbian
#listen listen#'i will not be called the one who killed alfred king of saxons'#loke fuck hes angry at him hes been betrayed and yet#acknowledges that alfred is king#which which ooooo season one on the boat WAS DIRECTLY OPPOSITE#growth their BOND#the way they push and pull how badly afred wants uthred to be be christain#yyyy??? becuase it would make him feel less guilty about loving him!!!#WE WERE BONDED HIM AND I#like fuck???? um????? SHIT????? i cant stressed the sadness in his voice#the GRIEF#they knew what they both wanted without saying the words aloud#HE WAS A MAN THAT I LOVED AND DESPISED#like BITCH U COMPLICATED#jsvsusvsisnsbeheoshvrkrbrieb god i need to make it gau i meed eivor to fulfill my tlk fantasies#imagine this and your a saxon queen and eivor is jarlskona and yall have been AT each others throats#real hatred that simmers#yet you can never forget her. you cant ignore her. you want to make her SEE you#ievewigsjsbsizvzkzbsisvsjsndisv bitch im im im maybe i need to rewatch tlk even tho i still needa#watch vikings valhalla🤡🤡🤡🤡
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Finks abt. Dari violence. As a treat <3
#she’s um. putting up more fight than she used to I think#both learning and. good gods she may not be trying to blend in but she’d sooner shave her head than let her pain start to show in a way that#she can’t just look away from. Yk magic glowy bitch mood ring blood shit affecting hair with regular sensations#she’s put in a Lot of work to keep it the hue of her rage. even if nobody else can see it as the threat it is anymore. she knows. she knows#and that makes all the difference. what was healing and growth in delren trimming the last of the pink from his hair rolling into a furious#and pathetic and cornered thing once dari spots a bit of pink in her hair. heaven forbid red good grief she’d lose her shit if she had to#face the fact that she’s afraid. I don’t even know what she’d do tbh#so um. she’s fighting harder than she did. beyond just doing a much better job of it and not being kind of shit at it. she fights with the#snarl of a cornered animal. Yk how it is#dari#(it’s not often I’m on abt her this is fun)
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nothing crazier than realizing I was born the exact year supernatural released so like, this show (which i regrettably still haven't finished) has litertally spanned my entire life up until adulthood.
this is too much for me to process time is the worst and is not real i am turning to mummy dust writing this reply, goodbye farewell---lmao 😭👵🏻💀😵
you are still so very young anon, please take care of yourself and know that i'm sending you all the hopes and wishes i can for wherever life takes you ❤
(also you don't ever have to finish supernatural, in all honesty it's not worth it!)
#it's spanned a significant portion of my entire life but in a different way because that was the year my normal life permanently ended#so whenever that time is wholly brought up it's quite jarring and attached to a real sense of grief#that one constant for better or worse existed for the whole of what should've been my early adulthood that wasn't#i hope your next 18 years are full of growth and happiness and beautiful things <3#[dramatic] my time on earth is ended now i must depart by walking into the sea xoxo *jake waving gif* 😂#anonymous#letterbox
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#idk what i am saying here i am just fuckinf obsessed with rock n roll death tolls#and like keith’s death resulting in pete almost dying#and johns death resulting in pete and roger finally becoming friends..#like the growth from dealing with unexpected grief and turning to self destruction#to then dealing with unexpected grief positively… idk idk. it’s interesting#and like the way their music is BURSTING w life but there’s all this death around it#i am switching my focus from the beatles death toll to the who death toll
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