#in a ‘was there behind the scenes issues’ sort of way

[orangez3st]

Coruscant's Finest Detective

Entry to @clonexocweek - 02.10.25: Introduction | Event Masterlist

Part 1 of 5 | Next to Part 2 ↦

Summary: Following the mysterious series of murders that involved countless shock troopers, Marshal Commander Fox, on behalf of the Coruscant Guard, had been advocated to seek the famous natborn investigator Detective Lesiil Thrace from CSF Criminal Investigations Department for her exceptional expertise. Tags & Warnings: serial killer case, typical murder investigation, brief graphic condition of murdered victim, author watches true crime (on regular basis) for reference, intellectually bamf oc (incl. her rambling), inaccurate criminal investigation Pairing: Fox × Det. Lesiil Thrace (OFC Crime Investigator) Word Count: 8.2k A/N: Huzzah, posting 6 hrs earlier from schedule! First of my three clone x oc pairings spanning from Day 1 to Day 4/5 – allow me to introduce you to my child born out of my fixation on true crime videos. I have fun studying body languages in interrogation footages (tho I perfectly know how unreliable that is), so that inspires me to make Lesiil and her story with the Coruscant Guard involved. Also Lesiil is read LESS-EEL. Enjoy!

𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒂 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔, 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔, 𝒄𝒓𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒔 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆

— Eat Your Young - Hozier [X]

Standing atop the landing pad underneath the artificial warm Coruscant weather, Marshal Commander Fox watches the door of the transport gunship slide open.

It isn’t usual for them to issue a gunship for civilian transport, nor did they ever do, but they are the Coruscant Guard.

And their guest, after all, is an ad hoc recruit to aid in their investigation over a series of murder that's been occuring in the last three months – the ill-fated victims being Fox’s own shock troopers. Even as resourceful as they get with abundant security footage, plus the ones from the victims’ HUD; their own investigation, quite frankly, has been leading nowhere. With the pressing demand to solve the case, someone had to call the shots.

The investigator steps out, raising a bronze-toned hand to momentarily shade her eyes from the sun. With them being on the top landing pad of the building, the slight breeze sends her curly dark hair that’s bound over one shoulder aflutter. Fox notices one of her arms tucked into a sling. She catches him observing her, even though he’s got his helmet on dutifully that it supposedly gives away nothing, and briskly makes her way over.

“Ah. Morning, Marshal!” she greets him with a polite smile, taking his offered hand and shaking it. “So kind of you to welcome me personally.”

Fox nods, replacing his hands behind his back. “Just abiding protocols, Inspector Thrace. Welcome to Coruscant Guard Headquarters.”

A brief glint of amusement flies across storm grey eyes. “Thank you, sir,” she says, subtly shrugging, “And it's Detective, actually. Inspector Thrace is my father.”

Fox swallows his embarrassment. “Of course, Detective Thrace,” he mutters stiffly, loud enough for his voice to carry out through his bucket’s vocoder. He nods towards the sling. “What happened to the arm?”

She glances down. “Unfortunate physical altercation in what was supposed to be a good ole by-the-book crime scene investigation,” she explains, smirking ever so slightly, “Turns out, the culprit was hiding in the attic the whole time.”

“So you were ambushed.”

“Got hit, wrist shattered.” Fox notices a slight uplift in her tone to mask her sheer embarrassment. “But the others managed to prevent him from escaping and eventually subdued him.”

Fox nods along, a glance to over her shoulder watching one of his men pushing a hover cart of her necessities out from the gunship. 

“Why didn't they treat you in a bacta tank?” he asks again, noting how obviously dumb that is, even if by her own choice.

“Because I’m having an appointment with the Coruscant Guard the next day,” the detective lets out a chuckle, “I sort my priorities. Work comes first. Bacta can wait. This'll do for a while until I decide to schedule an appointment when the coming days seem free.”

Fox resists the urge to roll his eyes. Just great. In his hands now is a stubborn detective who prioritizes work over their physical wellbeing. Who knows what more of her personality is yet to come out.

“Sorry I'm late!”

Fox turns around to the voice. Upon looking who’s running towards them, he audibly sighs, his voice filtering through the vocoder gruffly.

“Unforgiven, Commander Thorn,” Detective Thrace quips before he could chide, the action done so casually with a wide grin that gets Fox slightly surprised.

Thorn lets out a noise similar to a whine that makes Fox shudder a little in disgust. “Aww, don't be like that, Les,” he laughs, clasping her good forearm in greeting. He turns to Fox and nods. “Sir. Apologies for running a little late. Got to straighten up some shinies on the way.”

Fox grunts a reply. He waves a finger between the two. “So you two know each other personally?” he demands. Though he knows Thorn had been the one most vocal in their particularly decisive meeting, he’d only thought he and the natborn detective were strictly professional acquaintances.

“We’re keeping comms two days prior, and yeah,” Thorn answers colloquially, “And I bumped into her on my caf run a few months ago.”

The detective lightly shoves an elbow into Thorn’s ribs. “A delightful accident that involved spilling yours all over my white top.”

Thorn brings a hand to the back of his neck. “Sorry.”

She throws a smile his way. “Now that I’m happy to land myself up here to aid in CG special investigation, that might be as good as my forgiveness.”

Fox straightens up and mentally swats the warm and casual fog away, remembering the current circumstances. While he admits he enjoys knowing his batchmate acquires himself perhaps some friends outside their ranks, the casual yet punctual cue from the detective steers him back to the grim, pressing matters.

The detective gestures forward. “Shall we, Commanders?”

Fox nods wordlessly, motioning them to follow him back out the landing pad and into the building. He hears Thorn muttering to the detective, “You go on ahead with Fox. I'll handle your hover cart.”

He sneers inside his helmet. They’ve got a shock trooper for that already. Is Thorn trying to woo her or something with that act of service?

He leads them through a series of hallways and an elevator ride, and more hallways, passing by a few troopers either standing by or in their downtime.

“Do you think your injury would hinder your work today?” Fox asks the detective.

“Negative, sir,” she answers, “I'm perfectly capable of doing flimsiwork with just one arm.”

Fox looks at her a second too long. He bites back a sigh. “We have bacta tank in our medwing. I can comm our CMO so we can treat you firsthand if it's not in use.”

The detective nods curtly. “That’s very kind, but instead of brooding for hours in the medwing, I'd like to start my first day in the Coruscant Guard working,” 

Fox keeps his eye straight forward. “You may as well do both.”

“You're saying I'm dipping the hand?”

“Dipping the hand.”

She lets out an amused noise. “That's actually a sound idea,” she quips, “But until I agree to accept your offer, I'd like to see my office first.”

The edge of his lip lifts momentarily. So far in their conversation, he's been taking notes of the detective's Coruscanti accent and the littlest roundness in it – a telltale of someone who definitely lives topside.

He quickens his pace. “Right up this way, Detective.”

“You know,” Thorn says later after Fox left, his helmet off as he's helping to unpack the crates, “you can just call him Commander.”

Lesiil hums in acknowledgment while adjusting her sling. “I call him Marshal to tell him apart from you lot.”

“Yeah, anyway,” he says, “If you ever accidentally call him by his name when he's on his good side, he'll let it slide.”

“And if he isn't?”

“He'll make it clear it's your problem, too.” He throws a playful yet sympathetic smile her way. “What I mean is, don't mind him. He's like that. Almost everyone's scared of him, anyway. Too demanding, too stern. But honestly? It's just his physical exhaustion.”

Lesiil pauses in her effort in unpacking the other crate. She turns around to him. “So he rarely rests?”

“A sleeping Fox is a myth nowadays in the CGHQ,” he sighs, looking like he’s taken the plunge himself to look after his marshal commander several times. “He's dedicated. We respect him. Respect and loyalty is everything to us clones. He makes sure everything is in perfect order, he tolerates no failure, he's the one head of our corps planet-wide. I'm sure you understand. So, sleep is never on his mind.”

She goes quiet for a moment, conflicting between the Marshal's condition and all the positive outcomes that would've come from a properly run circadian rhythm. “But… surely he realizes how dangerous that is?”

Thorn shakes his head, chuckling. “You tell him.”

For the past half an hour after arriving, so far so great, she thinks. The Marshal Commander has been welcoming, and Thorn's presence is such a friendly comfort. As a foreign presence in a clone-only institution, it suffices just enough.

There's something about the Marshal, though. Lesiil does notice he doesn't treat her any differently – but then again she wouldn't go far to think about what's supposed to fit as ‘different’ in its context. She notes his gait; hands behind his back, shoulders back – signs of being observant of his surroundings, ready at any moment's notice while being neutral.

And clone trooper helmets. Those buckets prevent her from reading facial expressions and making a verdict of what these people actually think.

It saddens her sometimes. How these soldiers are put to marshal themselves behind masks of indifference and identical stoicism.

“You know him a lot, Thorn,” she prompts again, “What do you think is his first impression of me?”

“Really?” The commander's tone is high-pitched in surprise. “That's what you're worried about?”

She sighs. “Not worried. Just curious. I'd know, but I need some more words of affirmation here. Plus your helmet prevents me from spotting any facial expression to back up my initial assessment.”

Thorn had been gaping incredulously at her as she said that. “You're practically an A-list celebrity in all of Coruscant police ranks!” he boasts, “Kriff, you're famous, Les! You're the talk of the week among the Corries, y'know? All that, and you're worried about the Coruscant Guard Marshal Commander’s first impression of you?”

Lesiil stares at him, both hands on her hip as she demands further, “You know he's practically my CO now, so yes, and I'd love to know.”

Thorn rolls his eyes skyward at her stubbornness. “Well, when I vouched for you, he seemed pretty much convinced,” he says, “He's determined to catch this serial killer and solve and close the case, so I'd say he'd put some good credits on you.”

She hums, urging him to continue.

“Well,” he shrugs, “Tooka’s ain't out of the bag yet. I can tell you tomorrow if Fox and I get to talk later today.”

“Of course,” she smiles. Both then continue to unpack and set things down where the detective wants. Not ten minutes later, they’ve moved the empty crates away to one of the corners. Glancing around her office, Lesiil rubs her hand together and hums in satisfaction. “This looks decent enough.”

“For now,” Thorn gives out a smile of his own, “You need some decorations here and there.”

“Already on my to-do list,” she winks at him. “Now, would you please be a dear and fetch me everything you've got in this case?”

Thorn blinks. “But we haven't briefed you yet.”

Lesiil looks at him incredulously. “Well I wanna start right away, Commander, because you stated ‘urgent matters’ in your request letter last week, so help me here, yes?”

“Droid repair delivery for a, uh, Lesiil Thrace.”

After sparing a second more of his helmeted apathetic look towards the delivery guy, Fox turns to watch the front desk officer tapping away on the holoterminal. It beeps.

“No delivery confirmation from the detective, sir.”

“What?!” the delivery guy blurts out, “I swear to Maker the address is headed to the Corrie headquarters.”

“And this is the Corrie headquarters. She’s here,” Fox deadpans. He faces the desk officer again. “Comm her to come down and pick up her package.”

“Yes, sir.”

The poor delivery guy shifts uncomfortably. “Well, sorry for this, but I don't think I can stay any longer. I've got more to deliver.” He thrusts his datapad towards Fox. “Would you just please sign here as prove that someone’s received it?”

Fox glares down at the datapad, the delivery confirmation form glaring back at him, before dutifully deadpanning, “I can't do that.”

And that'll be the exact moment where Thorn comes out of nowhere. Again. Twice today.

“Here, I'll sign it,” he offers traitorously.

With the stylus and the datapad in hand, he offers a series of vigorous head nods as he drinks in the content of the form with a ridiculous amount of meticulousness. Fox watches his commander jotting down his CC number before returning the things back. The delivery man flies out the door without so much as a second glance, the package quite ceremoniously left by both commanders’ feet. The air about the front desk goes silently awkward for a while.

Until Thorn squats down to unclasp the locks on the tiny crate.

Fox clicks his tongue in reprimand. “The hell are you doing, Thorn?”

Thorn glances up at him before continuing his endeavors to peel off the many layers of safety wrap inside the crate. “This is just Lesiil’s droid,” he casually explains.

Fox blinks. How close they are that the detective presumably trusts Thorn to unbox her delivery is beyond him. That, or Thorn just acts out of kindness. If opening someone else's package is called kindness. But since it's for security purposes and the front desk is not a delivered package post, that'd be sensible to do.

With a soft grunt, Thorn picks up a small bipedal droid with a rectangular head and large pair of lenses from the crate. He gets to his feet in reined excitement. “A BD unit! Always aids in her investigation. Had to be broken previously, somehow.”

“Detective Thrace hasn't responded, sir,” the desk officer behind them chimes in.

Thorn sighs audibly, clutching the offline droid close to his torso. “I'll get this up, then.”

Fox’s hand on Thorn’s arm stops the latter. “I want confirmation that’s her droid. Run a scan on its serial numbers,” he says to another strooper on stand by. He turns back to Thorn. “Put it down and power it on.”

“...sir?”

“You heard me.”

Thorn stares at him almost incredulously for another second before reluctantly putting the droid down right on the desk. He fumbles for some kind of switch for a good minute or so, until the trooper with the scanner aids him while starting to run the ordered scan.

The small droid goes online with a rousing beep, its lenses blinking to life. Its bipedal legs extend and remind Fox of some avian creature. Throughout his life, he’s never seen this kind of droid before, not in the Senate Building or even in the GARHQ.

The BD unit tilts its rectangular head down, examining and wiggling its feet and beeping out all the way a little noisily, the binary voices filling the dull lobby.

Thorn crouches down to its level and catches its attention. “Hey, BD-6.” Fox can hear the excited grin in his brother’s voice. “Remember me? It’s Thorn.”

Its lens whirs in examination for three long seconds, before chirping and hopping up and down on its feet.

Thorn chuckles. “I'll take that as a yes.”

It then whirls around, taking its surroundings almost questioningly.

“You're in the Coruscant Guard Headquarters,” Thorn mindfully provides, “Lesiil works here now for a time being.”

The trooper with the scans steps forward and begins to check all over it. The droid beeps in alarm.

“Don’t worry,” Thorn puts a hand out to calm it down, “They’re just checking you over for a bit.”

Fox can’t contain his snickers any longer. “Since when you’re speaking binary, vod?”

Thorn looks at him straight on, the helmet helpfully provides a deadpan expression. “I don’t. Just a feeling. He looks anxious– oh, hey!” Upon completing the check, the droid had jumped onto his back with a trill. “He likes getting to people’s backs once allowed,” Thorn chuckles, reaching a hand backward to pat its head, “Hey, Beedee-bud. Yeah, good to see you again.”

“Commanders,” the scans trooper announces, “It’s registered as Detective Lesiil Thrace’s droid. BD series, sixth model.”

Thorn deadpanningly tilts his head at Fox, the droid on his back following the motion a second after.

Fox lets out a snort and waves them off.

The droid beeps again, and suddenly Fox gets hit by a vertical ray of red light coming from its lens. Once he's done scanning, he lets out a questioning beep from Thorn’s back.

“This is Marshal Commander Fox of the Coruscant Guard. He leads our corps,” Thorn introduces. At Fox’s inquiring stance, Thorn shrugs. “I think he's putting you in his memory banks.”

“And you know it just how?”

“He just met you and he just scanned you. You're, uh, noticeable, sir. You have distinct markings on your armor. The droid’s just doing his thing.” Thorn tilts his head slightly. “Right, Beedee?”

BD-6 lets out a confirming trill.

“Satisfied, sir?” Fox is certain of the shit-eating grin manifesting behind Thorn’s helmet right now. “He looks like you, though.”

He does have crimson red paint on its entire rectangular head.

Fox sighs harshly. “Don’t start, Thorn. I’ve got a lot on my mind, my caf machine broke, I have a meeting with the Chancellor before lunch break, it's not even 1100 and I'm tired.”

Thorn snickers. “Sir, yes sir.”

“I’ll take him up to her office,” Fox says. He points a finger to the droid. “You, follow me.”

One short goodbye between the BD unit and his batchmate later, Fox leads the droid to the main elevator area. His pace is surprisingly quick, swerving around and through seas of walking feet seamlessly and shooting down empty corridors with a beeping noise.

Fox is grateful for the quiet elevator ride. Besides that it’s empty throughout the ascend, the droid is too busy observing the planet-wide city through the transparisteel view panel. Fox throws subtle glances to check he's still there. The droid is just so kriffing small he’s almost afraid it would suddenly vanish out of existence. Well, not that small, but maybe it’s because he’s never seen it. The situation is a bit bizarre for him.

He catches Fox staring too long.

Then, he beeps loudly at him, scurrying by his feet hopping and nudging the rectangular head towards his back almost pleadingly.

“No,” he says coldly.

The droid boops in disappointment, his head dropping.

From the elevator area, the walk to the detective's office is short. The droid easily keeps up with his wider strides, seemingly excited to meet with his owner again. Fox is really set to get it back to his owner, and to demand why she hasn't been answering her comm.

The door swishes open almost instantly after he knocks, and it makes him flinch when the detective stands in front of him in an unexpected proximity, a sight of storm grey eyes and dark bronze skin and bound dark curly hair over one shoulder abruptly greeting him. Kark, he needs caf. He prays to whatever divine being there is that she didn't notice him jumping out of his skin.

“You’ll have to forgive me, Marshal. I was drowning in work,” Thrace says sincerely, commlink in hand, seemingly having only just read the messages.

The excited, long trill that comes out of the droid shakes Fox out of his trance. Detective Thrace lets out a small pleased laugh when she crouches down and extends her uninjured arm, and Fox watches how she's letting the little droid run up her arm and settling onto her back the way he did to Thorn moments ago.

“Good to have you back, Beedee,” she grins, earning a series of happy beeps from the droid. Thrace gently turns back to Fox, a modest smile slides into her lips. “Thank you for bringing BD-6 up, Marshal.”

Despite earning himself a view of a happy reunion between the droid and the owner, Fox gets reminded of the little predicament in the lobby.

“Please inform the front desk every time you’re having an incoming package, Detective. I nearly had to summon a bomb disarming unit just to make sure this isn't a bomb threat or any sort.”

Well it isn't true, but it usually serves well enough as a warning to his troopers.

Thrace acknowledges seriously, nodding once and sending him a look of apology. “Yes, sir. I'll be careful. It won't happen again.”

Fox murmurs a silent acknowledgement as he cranes his neck over the detective's shoulder, spotting piles of datapad on her table, empty crates of her things tucked into a corner, and a totally operating caf machine on the side table.

“Yeah, Beedee, new work here. Take your time scanning and prodding, will you?” He didn't notice the detective had stepped back into her office and showed her droid around. After letting BD-6 jump down from her shoulder, Thrace turns around, noting Fox still standing there expressionlessly.

She regains his precious attention when she marches towards her totally operating caf machine.

“Caf, Marshal?”

“Please,” he replies too quickly. In an instant, he hates it. He sounds desperate and he hates it, kriff’s sake.

Fox steps in, the door sliding close behind him. As the detective is busying herself making a fresh cup for him, he takes the graciously given opportunity to glance around the room. Despite being on the middle floor of the building, the first wall offers a decent span of busy Coruscant skyline through transparisteel, the vast compound of GARHQ a modest size in the distance within the military district. It provides so much natural light, something Fox thinks an average natborn would appreciate.

There are small mementos scattered around the room. A small artificial pot of plant on the desk, her holocomputer, and holostills of various people that Fox guesses as her natborn family and coworkers. The pile of Corrie datapads, however, intrigues him the most.

“Starting?” he prompts, “We haven't even briefed you on anything yet.”

Thrace glances at him. “I understand, but seeing now that I took it into my hands myself due to the nature of the urgency, the brief you're talking about now, though no less necessary, has turned into a mere formality.”

At the audacious proposition, Fox scowls in annoyance. He isn't ready for insubordination this early. Just great.

A mug of hot caf is suddenly thrusted in his direction. Steam rises from the red-colored drinkware and wafts through his helmet's breath filter, deliciously overwhelming him with sweet promises of surviving the long day. Its enticing aroma is nothing like mud water sprouting out from his caf machine or the one in the mess hall. It's rich, nutty, and dancing all over his taste buds already.

Thrace’s storm grey eyes fixate on his visor, as if piercing through it and straight into his eyes. “Though, if you've got any input, sir, be it trivial thoughts or factual, please send it over.”

He suddenly forgets what he's annoyed at.

“Understood,” he mutters, accepting the mug carefully with both hands. About that input, he does remember putting a personal commentary in a few of those cases due to the bizarre nature of some.

Fox shakes out of his trance, trying to not fall into the caf’s inviting aroma again. He clears his throat. “We'll be having a meeting with the entire CG command at 1500, Detective,” he says somewhat softly, the usual sternness in his tone already dissipating. This beautiful damn caf. “You're required to attend. You'll have to formally introduce yourself to everyone.”

Thrace’s dark brows furrow. “Why, it's in the middle of my peak work hour.”

Fox allows himself a sigh. “It's set. And I won't take any complaints.”

“I have already emerged deep in my progress, as you can see,” Thrace gestures around her table, datapads scattered all over it and BD-6 is downloading the data into its memory banks. The detective looks at him almost pleadingly, though her polite tone remains the same. “And as you perhaps may understand, a break of another activity in the middle of progress may hinder and slow it down.”

Fox lets out a breathy scoff. “And not a shattered wrist on a sling, Detective?”

“And not a sleepless and constantly caffeinated shell of a body, Marshal?” Thrace shoots back with a lift of her eyebrow. Fox inhales a breath. She glowers him down. “But I'm working, aren't I?”

“And so am I, Detective Thrace,” he grits his teeth, already feeling a migraine forming. “You're going to introduce yourself to command in this meeting. Share your portfolio, your previous cases, your methods. When we called the shots to whether or not to recruit you ad hoc, some were skeptical. Roughly put, you'll have to prove yourself that bringing you in today isn't a bad decision the entire command of the Coruscant Guard has made.”

Thrace breaks her glare, the hardness on her countenance breaking apart as well and softening as she nods in acknowledgment. 

Fox puffs out his chest, satisfied with her reaction. “Commander Thorn was persistent and fought to the end to convince everyone.”

“Thanks to him, I'm here. And I'm honored,” she says back without missing a beat, the corner of her lips lifting momentarily.

“The honor is ours,” he replies easily. With a single nod, he departs towards the door, “I'll come by and escort you to the meeting room. 1500, Detective.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.”

The second the door closes behind him, Fox clicks off his helmet, the pressurization giving away with a hiss. Curls of dark hair fall into his eyes, yet it doesn't hinder him from the dark exotic drink in his hands. He lifts the mug to his nose, almost moaning to the exquisite aroma. Then, he catches the printed Aurebesh around the side of the mug.

#1 Person of Interest

And at that moment, for the first time that day, he lets out a laugh. At some poor excuse of a casual police pun, no less.

Once the Marshal Commander walks out the door, Lesiil allows herself a deep sigh. “And there goes my second favorite mug.” She then shrugs, turning to her ever loyal companion. “Did you hear that, Beedee? We have to prove ourselves.”

BD-6 lets out a series of boops.

“Of course we're taking that as a challenge. Aren't we always?” Lesiil grins, slurping her caf and turning back to the datapad pile on her table. “Now that you've scanned all of these, I need you to run a match scan for me. It's perfect timing that they've finished repairing you today.”

Hours fly by with more skimming and more logging. In the past three months while still at the CSF, Lesiil had heard about a serial murder in which the Corrie shock troopers had fallen prey to. She did try to poke around for more details, but seeing it was guarded behind the very walls she's currently in right now, she is easily, quite simply, invigorated, showering herself with all the details.

BD-6 keeps her company, chirping a few possible inputs of his own based on the data he’d downloaded earlier from the humongous pile of datapads.

Between the hours, with BD-6’s guidance (who had acquired a holomap of this very building including the ventilation and sewer system and the sublevels – the very notion that screams plausible deniability for when suddenly a shock trooper would knock on her door and ask around about a minor security breach – so she never asks Beedee just how and when and the ethics and the like), she takes the elevator down to the mess hall at lunch time.

It's bustling with sans helmet troopers, queuing for their share of meal that day and picking at them once sat. Lesiil grabs her own tray and scoops accordingly, mindful to show some neutrality in her countenance to not offend these troopers about the choice of food. She's had military-grade rations several times, anyway. When she takes a bite at the one in front of her, honestly, that's not the worst she's tried.

Several troopers pass by her lone table, politely asking her business. Those who know her, or more like, know her fame, well, they don't hesitate to ask for her autograph or holostills with her. The last thing she wants is to make bad impressions, and she wants to make an impression that she enjoys being here despite the bleak serial murder case, so Lesiil takes each and every request kindly until they're satisfied and her food unfortunately has gone cold.

After that, a quick elevator ride back to her office, BD-6 loyally perching on her back.

Then, more skimming and more logging.

A knock resounds at the door, and a quick glance at the chrono tells her that it's time.

“How many are you on the command board?” Lesiil asks the Marshal Commander as they march side by side heading for the designated meeting room, somewhere a few floors down from her office.

“64 commanders plus myself,” the Marshal answers curtly, his helmeted head straight on ahead.

Lesiil hums. “Did you like the caf?” she asks. It's one of those artisan blends she likes to pick up every now and then.

The Marshal throws a glance at her, almost in surprise, as if caught off guard by the question.

“It's… good,” he replies, before adding, “Thank you, Detective. I'll make sure to return the mug.”

Lesiil merely nods in return, and they talk no more past that, both enjoying the silence, safe for BD-6’s curious boops every time he catches a passing trooper's bewildered glance.

The meeting room is packed once they arrive. What's better is, they all have already taken off their helmets, talking among themselves either in quiet or in a playfully boisterous manner, showing all these facial expression variants of glee, seriousness, and gloom.

Lesiil is reinvigorated and almost giddily sweeps her gaze across the room, mentally taking notes of their reaction as both her and the Marshal Commander stride further into the room.

Thorn calls for her, waving her over and patting down the empty seat beside him. She abides, grinning, BD-6 trilling in excitement upon seeing the commander, whose several coils of dyed russet hair escape its bun stop his head, adorning his hairline messily.

“Hey, Beedee-bud,” Thorn instantly pats the droid's rectangular head once he perches on his spot on the desk.

After a few introductions to the commanders around her with Thorn's prompt (she now knows some of them are pretty close to the Marshal and practically forms a clique with him), Lesiil settles into her seat with eyes to the front of the stage, only to fail to be mindful of her own facial expressions to the sight up in front.

Her lips part. Her eyebrows, raised. The Marshal Commander, with the usual stance of his hands behind his back, sweeps his gaze around the room sharply. It is only then she realizes his crimson bucket is absent from its usual place.

Dark curls sit on top of his head, slicked back and away from his forehead by the necessary combing of gloved fingers, grey streaks of hair adorning his temples, each silvery strands a sign of constant wariness in corporate work and planet-wide security. Faded lines of scars mar his tawny face – a slash across his nose and a gash on his left cheek. Five day old stubble and the faint dark bags under his eyes that echo the very air of weariness and the hectic nature of his lasting career. Even then, his amber brown eyes don't fail his blasé countenance; always sharp, always critical, sparking with indefinite authority.

The Marshal leads the introduction briefly and goes past it quickly, almost startling Lesiil out of her seat since she's used to many welcoming speeches before getting to the main course.

But now, she's among clones. And that spells enough difference.

“I know I've only been here for a few hours, but that doesn't hinder me to say that I'm honored to be recruited ad hoc to work with the Coruscant Guard,” Lesiil begins promptly after being taken to the floor. The Marshal has retreated to his designated seat that happens to be just next to hers.

With another vigilant glance around the room, spotting every nonverbal cues at her talking, Lesiil inhales a soft breath before continuing, “In the grim circumstances of this serial murder case, I promise I shall do my best to help, and to serve justice for the souls of your lost brothers.”

Thorn is starting to clap his hands, ever showing support and making the others follow suit. Lesiil now could see some excitement and relief in few of those faces – looks like they know of her notoriousness.

And…

Lesiil knows that's her cue to step off the stage, plus the Marshal himself is starting to get off his seat to join her, but if she's not mistaken, he did tell her to prove herself.

“Now about this serial killer case, whose perpetrator has been labeled with the nickname The Corrie Butcher…” she begins unwaveringly, trailing off to catch the commanders she knows. Thorn is expressing every kind of being surprised while the Marshal has settled back into his seat and is smirking so subtly she almost misses it.

So, Lesiil graciously takes that as her cue.

“Not long after I settled in my office, I asked Commander Thorn to pull up everything there is about this case.”

“We haven't briefed you yet,” the Marshal pipes in, seemingly to disclaim to the audience in the room.

Lesiil’s stare bears down on him hard. “Yes, you already said that a few hours ago in my office upon finding out and again, Marshal, I apologize.” It invites a few chuckles from the audience. She exhales softly. “But what's one or two protocol breaches if compared to peace and justice served quickly? It's only a matter of time.”

Thorn discreetly gives her two thumbs up from his seat, and Lesiil throws a smile his way.

She starts to pace to regain her confidence. “I've skimmed through and reviewed at least an eighth of 160 or so case files along with some of the footage, enough to place a profile on our killer with a great level of confidence,” Lesiil orients thoughtfully, “So the Corrie Butcher's profile, unsurprisingly and quite anticlimactically, is an anti-clone middle-class natborn male worker. Unfortunately I haven't been able to provide more than this finding yet.”

A hand comes up from the crowd.

“I get anti-clone,” the clone commander states once Lesiil permits him, “But middle-class worker?”

“Out of all 160 or so of HUD footage, I ran a match scan on the timestamps at the time of the murders. Narrowed down, our killer goes with the murder between 1700 hours and midnight. 1700 is a typical time for most middle-class workers to get off work.” Lesiil inhales a sharp breath. “Not to mention the advantageous cover of the dark. So, our killer ventures and prowls the streets of Coruscant to hunt for unsuspecting shock troopers when he gets off work.”

Lesiil notes how it sparks some reactions. Some are nodding thoughtfully, some others are frowning to grasp.

“There's a reason why I brought up about him being an anti-clone,” she picks up again, “And it's not about how he despises your very existence in general as stated by the statistically huge number of other Coruscant citizens who feel the same.”

“So what would that be, then?” someone from the audience shouts.

Lesiil ponders for a while. “I have confidence that you'd somehow know about serial killers. I do know this because of my study and experience being involved in several serial murder cases.”

Yeah you're great, someone remarks loudly, inviting another round of chuckles. Lesiil smiles appreciatively at the spot she thinks it came from. Well, at least some of them know who she is and what she can do.

“The thing about serial killers,” she begins after a moment, “is that they have the same trademark and typically the same motive when they go for the kill. Our killer goes for the shanks. Thirty stab wounds on average 95% of the time. After they died, he'd run his knife into their forehead and carve the word ‘why?’. A message of anguish. The Corrie Butcher is an attention-seeking individual with personal vendetta in his agenda. A killer who seeks attention for their heinous act to be noticed by the public and the police is typically a trait or symptom of, say, about three different mental disorders, but I digress. This is a validated disturbed individual, though I think it doesn't need a thorough personal judgement to notice.”

The images are harrowing. Lesiil has grown to be used to the sight of blood and body horrors that follow her steps everywhere she goes, but even seeing another holostill of a fallen victim lying in the pool of their own blood still leaves her head blank for a moment, like walking with a hollow stomach and cotton-stuffed ears, no matter how calm she tries to be.

“But… that's kinda just describing every single anti-clone natborns out there,” another from the audience states hesitantly. “Kind of.”

“But not everyone kills shock troopers. Not even 160 times,” Lesiil rebuts firmly, “Nor stabbing them thirty times. One might be a crime of passion, two or three might be premeditated murder, but thirty? Thirty is overkill. Thirty is too much. They drive their knife in, over and over, even after the victim has passed.”

She pauses to give them a moment as some begin to draw deep, distressed breaths and clench their fists. Their brothers sitting next to them offer some words and comforting pats to the back.

She knows they're all tightly knitted, being brothers in arms and in blood. And those fallen men must be the very ones under their commands. This must be affecting them too much. However, no one abruptly marches out of the room. They're all hanging on, putting on solemn expressions, though perhaps a part of the reason is to respect the one currently talking on stage.

“Thirty is driven by extreme emotions, and not just for the sheer murderous thrill of it,” she continues, gentler this time, being mindful of those who still haven't looked up from their feet. ”I place my bets on, perhaps, a particular revengeful motive. There has to be a reason why the Corrie Butcher goes for the overkill, and with that carved message, he wants attention. He needs to deliver his revenge. The catalyst that leads our killer to do so is yet to be discovered, but I'm confident that we will manage to unravel this part by part.”

The Marshal Commander meets her gaze.

Lesiil takes notes of his arms, folded across his chest, and his foot over his knee, red-trimmed black kama spilling around him and onto the seat. Is he cold? The room is warm enough. Closed off demeanor, then. Defensive. But what for? Is he still skeptical?

She breaks his gaze, placing the Marshal's expression in the back burner.

“If everybody has gathered their bearings, I'd like to continue for a few more moments.” Lesiil rubs her hands together. She turns to her droid still perching on Thorn's desk. “BD-6?”

The droid boops in attention, drawing everyone's attention to it.

“Come up here and show the class, please,” she waves her good hand over, “And pull up that footage.”

BD-6 scurries along the table, passing Thorn and the Marshal Commander and completely unaware of the latter's following eyes.

Its holoprojector lens activates, casting a blue projection of an HUD footage it had downloaded from one of the datapads earlier. Lesiil begins to direct it to fast forward and rewind to get to the perfect frame she spotted earlier while trying her best to steel herself. This is, after all, merely seconds before the HUD feed got abruptly cut off, assuming the helmet had been forcefully removed without properly disengaging the feed and internal comm systems.

Seconds later, BD-6 manages to pause on a particular frame they'd been looking for. Among the blurred motions indicating a clear struggle between the victim and the Corrie Butcher, is close-up of a hooded figure, lower part of the face covered with a mask to obscure his identity, leaving his eyes and forehead to peek through the hood, along with stray strands of blond hair sweeping across his forehead.

“This is one of the clearest moments we could get about the culprit from HUD point of view,” Lesiil finally presents, “I'd like to personally thank whoever this man is for not wearing any eye covering because it's easier for me to do my job, but that would be inappropriate. Now,” she points, “His eyes. His stare. His look. Full of anger, full of passion, he's manic. Not exactly excitement nor for the mere thrill unlike most serial killers diagnosed with psychopathy, but there's a very distinctive rage in his eyes. This, I think, aligns with those thirty overkill stab wounds.”

“Detective.”

Another raised arm. This time it's coming from the front row. It's the one two seats down from Thorn with a shaved head. He was introduced as Commander Stone earlier, and had been the one overseeing the investigation before she got called in.

“With all due respect, this profiling method of yours is highly unusual, not to mention unconventional,” Commander Stone argues, “It's based on assumptions and not concrete evidence. We're looking for security footage, any traces of DNA, and the likes to help us identify this serial killer. Not assumptions.”

“My analysis isn't based on assumptions,” Lesiil asserts neutrally, as it's not her first Kessel Run to face such doubts, “I've managed to compare this to serial killer cases I had my hands in. I have the baseline experience to recognize a serial killer's motive.”

Commander Stone had been acknowledging her with nods as she spoke, waiting for her to finish before rebutting, “It’s only due to all your behavioral analysis, which lacks concrete evidence such as the killer's statement, cannot be taken for granted. You’re not a licensed psychologist, you are a detective.”

Lesiil watches how Thorn and the Marshal crane their necks over to glare warningly at the other commander.

Right. How dare he, right.

She takes a deep breath. “And a detective seeks deeply to find a killer's motive,” she counters, “It can always be done presumptively by reading their emotions, and if we’re also able to identify not only how they act, but their nonverbal cues as well.”

Commander Stone lets out a low scoff. “Nonverbal cues are subjective and thus not valid.”

She exhales. “Wrong. They could be valid, helping you to build an initial profile of the perpetrator.”

“Why are you so insistent about this behavioral analysis thing?”

“Why, because of my Lorrdian lineage, of course.”

The entire room suddenly breaks out into loud chatters of amazement.

Yes, well… it's a close guarded secret. Not even every personel in CSF knows. The public – the media that documents her – has no idea.

“Being a part-Lorrdian provided me the gracious opportunity to train and learn from them. I am a master nonverbal communications analyzer, if that wasn't clear enough,” Lesiil clarifies. She does catch some confused looks among these men. Moreover, it's actually documented in her portfolio.

“I've been trained to read people for half of my life, so much so that I am capable of telling the difference between ambiguity and sincerity,” she declares, “And that is exactly why I make an excellent detective even among my peers. Have I mentioned my specialty is interrogation? One incriminating move of the hands, and I can pull the guilty or not guilty verdict and throw life imprisonment without parole in their face right there and then had I been the judge.”

Fox is feeling so kriffing smug right now.

Not only does he generally enjoy watching people losing their shit and slam the other back down with intellectual savagery that makes them look dumb in the end, but he's chuffed he put his foot down yesterday to bring in Lesiil Thrace.

“So, that's the entire anti-clone behavioral analysis of the Corrie Butcher for you. All I ask is your full support. And with all that said, we can move on with the investigation and hopefully subdue this serial killer before the increasing number of victims bears too much,” she concludes firmly, and she turns in his direction, meeting his gaze in faint bewilderment.

Fox realizes his face muscles are creasing – he's been beaming at her.

“That is all, Marshal Commander,” Thrace cues him with her own contented smile, “Thank you for letting me have the floor.”

He then closes the session and dismisses everyone as fast as he can, knowing the others and himself have matters to do.

Fox lets his gaze trail the detective as she exits the room with her droid on her back alongside the other commanders, engaging in small conversation about some of her notorious cases.

“So,” Thorn starts, approaching Fox on the stage, “Start throwing in your opinions, vod. What do you think of her?”

Fox hooks his fingers into his belt and shrugs. “Didn't know she's a Lorrdian.”

Thorn sighs. “Yeah, me neither. I'm as surprised as you are.”

“Really?”

“She told me her home planet is Alderaan. So yeah, her being part Lorrdian is a sure shock.”

Fox stores that piece of information in his brain. “Is she a member of one of the noble houses or something?” he wonders, gesturing with his hand, “With that… formal tone. Courteous speaking mannerisms and whatnot.”

“Her record didn't say anything about that,” Thorn shakes his head, unsurprised. He continues to prod as Fox gathers his helmet. “So. What do you think?”

“I reckon she'd be a challenge to our internal network and to outside forces,” Fox admits.

“‘Our internal network’?” Thorn snorts.

“Thorn,” Fox begins almost sharply, “did you see how she went against protocol?”

“To work faster, Fox,” his batchmate defends with an amused look in his face, “And we asked for her help, remember? We want this case solved, and she wants nothing but identifying the Corrie Butcher and having him detained.”

Fox is silent for a moment before stating, “She's in Corrie territory.”

“Uh huh.”

“Doesn't mean she can do whatever she likes.”

“You're her CO.”

“Unfortunately.”

“That's cold, sir.”

“She’s stubborn as kark,” Fox sighs, leading out of the meeting room, “Refused a bacta tank when I offered just because she didn't want to brood in the medwing.”

Thorn catches up beside him, bucket clutched under his arm. “Stubborn is the first thing that comes to your mind? Mine is friendly,” he says, “Talks when the situation is fit for her to. Knows her boundaries. Wouldn't prod your privacy.”

“So is it ‘friendly’ or those three points that flew across that head of yours?”

“All of the above, but across time and time again,” Thorn remarks cheekily, “What else?”

Fox suddenly remembers their first meeting he'd just learned about this morning. Thorn, the son of a droid, accidentally spilled caf on her.

“Her caf is nice,” Fox finds himself mumbling, before donning his bucket because he's about to mull. Face obscurity is the very first thing he needs.

“Oh so that's her mug?” Thorn laughs, having noticed the red drinkware with the person of interest pun on Fox's table earlier that day. “Makes sense. You'll never come up with that kind of joke, you're too gruff.”

Yeah, that's right. Fox does admit he's gruff and stern and stiff and whatever krayt spit his brothers come up with about his uptight personal branding. The contrast makes him wonder about that pun line on the red mug; did she come up with that and commission that thing or is it a gift from a cheeky friend? She looks like the kind of person that does have that kind of friend. Thorn, for example.

Lesiil Thrace is courteous. Utter professional. Blunt around the edges. Resilient, though sometimes it comes as annoying because of how smart the words that come out of her mouth are. Duty-bound. Focused.

Some of those remind Fox of himself.

He understands those traits, drawing him to be considering being a little lenient to her in the future.

But declaring her appreciation to be working with them, what could that possibly mean? Coming from a shared background of law-upholding authorities, perhaps, then yes, Fox can understand.

But she's a natborn. In fact, the one and only natborn in the clone-only institution called the Coruscant Guard.

Why the honor that simply manifests by working with… clones?

Whatever that is, Lesiil Thrace has gained Marshall Commander Fox's respect already.

“Stubborn. Workaholic,” are the things that fly out of his mouth instead, “An apparent professional, but if she goes against even the most basic protocols again, m’gonna go ballistic.”

Thorn snorts. “Ain’t that you, vod? Maybe you and her do have something in common.”

Fox kicks his shin. “Shut your shebs up.”

And shut his brother's shebs did, and Fox is grateful because he thinks he's captivated by the detective, but of course, as the most dutiful Marshal Commander of his corps, he would downplay and bury that bit of feeling deep into the earth and pray someone wouldn't notice the soil has been upturned.

Taglist (Form): @yoursrosie @hellfiresky @msmeredithrose @filamentlights

[quietwingsinthesky]

choosing the believe that the seagull is buttons come to bring izzy back from the dead because what the fuck was that

[wereh0gz]

Issue 69 (nice) is very good and very fun :]

[todayisafridaynight]

i'll probably be skipping stream today & tomorrow on account of my personal challenge to finish JE before you (<- absolutely not going to happen)

but while i'm here SHUT UP your headcanon is not icky :) though i can't really talk since i don't bring my own up very often either, and i honestly haven't even put that much thought into the logistics around it. anyway trans masato 🤝 trans wagi as personal coping mechanisms

DAWG you gotta finish it... idk how long youve had it but prob longer than me cmon now gamer i know you can do it ✊

trans masato is just funny because Like Everything I Do it just started as me joking about scenes from the game and then the ending happened and i was like Oh Lol It's Not A Joke Anymore I Think

I DONT USUALLY SUBSCRIBE TO TRANS HCS EITHER THAT WHY IT ICKY TO MEAJLWKJL but thank you. i promise to only mention it once every five months

[butchdomesticwhore]

why is it so hard to recognize that all this info about bills and such is something you can acquire via googling and making phone calls to people who work in these departments and--yes!--asking them questions on what your best next step is? how does making this about systemic oppression help you or anyone else complete practical, adult tasks? when you point at a paper bill from a medical institution and declare it fundamentally classist, does the bill magically crumple into the dust, the issue dealt with and over because you aptly named the systemic issue at play? no!

do you get angry at mechanics when they tell you they have an idea regarding how your car could be fixed, also? how does that help you? what have you learned from deciding to be angry as opposed to using the information dealt to you? perhaps you should not be told by cashiers either about when the sales happen or how items are put on clearance lest their Insider Knowledge tell you something you don't know and--gasp--come from a place of privilege.

the point of my info and OP's is practical use. "if you have this problem, [x] might solve it." privilege or no, how the info is acquired doesn't matter as much as whether or not it's accurate and helps people. and despite your daftness, i very much hope any of this info helps YOU. or if not you, then someone you know. or someone completely random, i don't give a damn.

Ok so my kid had an ear infection, right? As kids often do.

The doctor scraped out a bit of earwax to have a better look inside.

I was sent a bill for $200 PER EAR for this 5 second procedure which I did not give permission for them to do.

That was key- they did not ASK me if they could do this "procedure". And, as I OWN a medical practice (it's me. The medical practice is me, sitting in my house on video calls) I knew to call them when this bill came in to be like "You did not obtain informed consent for this procedure, and it was not en emergency procedure. You had full ability to gain my consent and didn't. I'm not paying."

And the massive hospital who owned the bill said "yuh-huh you do have to pay."

And I said "I own a practice. I know these laws. I do not owe you money for this."

And they conducted an "internal review" and SURPRISE! Decided I totally owed them money and they had never done anything wrong ever.

And so I called my state's Attorney General office, and explained the situation because, as I mentioned, I know the law. The AG got in touch within a couple days to say they were taking the case and would send the massive hospital conglomerate a knock it off, guys letter.

Lo and Behold, today I have a letter where said hospital graciously has agreed to forfeit the payment.

"How not to get screwed over by companies" should be part of civics class.

Know your rights and know who to call when they're infringed on. This whole process cost me $0 and honestly less effort than I would have expected.

May this knowledge find its way to someone else who can use it.

[lovingjingyuan]

I wonder: How would hsr boys react to someone trying to take pics up ur skirt? This is an unhinged thought that I’ve thought to long, please cure this weird thinking.

Characters: Avneturine, Jing Yuan, Blade, Sunday, Boothill

Aventurine

When Aventurine caught sight of a creepy man attempting to take inappropriate photos under your skirt while you were dress shopping for clothes, he was appalled and disgusted. 

“Check this green dress out. It’s like the color of an aventurine. I think it would look dashing on you” He threw in a little wink with his words, while deliberately trying to divert your attention away from the unsettling situation. 

With a reassuring smile he added, “this one's on me, spend freely.” He presented you with the beautiful dress on a hanger, while planning on taking you to the evening ball hosted by the IPC for the executives. 

Oh but he makes sure in the background he discreetly makes sure to contact someone from the IPC technology department to delete every piece of data, wiping everything off that creepy man’s phone. He also arranged a few of his IPC bodyguards, instructing them to follow that man so he can deal with him ‘personally’ later.

Jing Yuan

(Husband♡) Jing Yuan is a gentleman. He doesn’t want to concern you with these, wanting to save you the embarrassment and tainting your mind of peace. What truly astonishes him is the fact one of his very own staff members working at the Seat of Divine Foresight is involved in such despicable behavior. Towards his lover too!

“Ahem ahem,” he clears her throat, catching your attention. “Love, could you spare a moment and help me sort out these files?”

As you approach him he slickly wraps an arm around your waist pulling you into his embrace. He just can’t bear the thought of anyone seeing you in such a vulnerable way. Anyone that’s not him :( he loves his darling too much for anyone to be ogling at you. 

Without any sort of explanation he sat you down on his chair and covered your lap in a blanket. You’re confused and puzzled by his random action but he’s fuming in anger under his facade smile. 

He’s determined to address this issue in the most “legal” way possible. If he could.

Bladie!!!

He would either glare intensely at the point to the point the creepy man would delete the picture out of sheer intimidation. Orrrrr, Blade might just go over and greet them with his sword. As simple as that 🤷‍♀️

His glare alone is a death sentence, especially when he’s protecting his beloved. He loves you very much; just has a hard time expressing it!

Sunday

How could anyone commit such sinful and absurd acts, escapilly towards his beloved! He frowns upon any lewd or disrespectful behavior. Sunday would be absolutely speechless and consumed by fuming rage and disgust, staring at your offender. 

Regaining his composer, he approaches you with a mask smile hiding the intense emotions he felt, “Just a moment,” he says, glancing at you. “We mustn’t  be late for our outing my dear,” He extends one hand out for your hand. Despite his calm demeanor, his other hand clenched tightly behind his back. 

He averts his gaze directed towards the man behind you. “Please report to the BloodHound they will like to meet with you,” he says, his voice with strained restraints. 

Sunday hurriedly leads you away. Although Sunday may be a forgiving priest he had limits which that man crossed. He;s immensely disappointed that something like this would occur in Penacony’s dreamscape where everyone is supposed to be and feel relaxed in the hands of The Family. And he’s more upset it occurred to his beloved. 

Boothill

he will confront and make a scene cause you're his darling.

Boothill wants to spit out the most profound language but his system won't let him. seeing a man taking pictures of his darling? Fudge no! unacceptable!

"Muddle Fuger, what are you doing?" he tries cussing out the creepy man startling the man with their phone under your skirt.

"Son of a nice lady! What the heck are you doing to my girl?!" He makes a big scene, causing the man to panic because everyone turns their attention to this scene.

he's ready to whip out his revolver and protect his darling. Maybe after this he would take off his hat and put it behind your bum to cover you up as you two walk back from the embarrassing situation.

------------------

I finally finished exams! blah blah blah. I'm bored af summer and I've been play wuwa! I love PGR Roland so I played cause it's from Kuro games. And omg Geshu Lin!!! He looks like Jing Yuan thats why I like him.

Avneturine Rant: Also I can't help this but I'm becoming obssed with Avneturine. I showed my friend an edit of him. she said he's so fine cause she like white blonde men. I'm starting to fall so inlove with him now! Same level of love with Jing Yuan. I can't Aveneturine is too charming. Didn't like him much at first but god his backstory and that mini anaimation how could I be so Blind! Same situtaion with Jing Yuan.

Also gonna update now

[ridleymocki]

(seeing so many bad faith interpretations of the argument, y'all are really going to make me do this, okay HERE WE GO)

.................................

What Ed says: "I think last night was a mistake. I'm not ready for... Whatever this is."

What Ed means: "I didn't want last night to happen so soon or under those circumstances. Things are changing rapidly, which makes me feel out of control and scared."

What Stede hears: "I regret sleeping with you. I don't want the sort of relationship that you're after."

.................................

What Stede says: "It was a fine fish. It was... whatever. I was just trying to make you feel good!"

What Stede means: "I only cared about the fish because you cared about it, and I care about you. I liked the fish because it made you happy. Ordinarily, I'm ambivalent about fish."

What Ed hears: "I lied to you. I didn't care about your achievement I was just placating you to get what I wanted."

.................................

What Ed says: "Here's the news: I'm leaving. I got a job on a little fishing boat and I'm leaving. I'm a fisherman now."

What Ed means: "I think I need to be away from you to figure out who I am, because I haven't been able to do that while we're together, and your lifestyle now is the life I'm trying to leave behind."

What Stede hears: "I've made a decision to leave you and have a life without you. I don't value what we have enough to work with you to find a solution, I'd prefer to end it."

.................................

What Stede says: "Oh, Ed. Seriously? You're not a fisherman."

What Stede means: "I think you're using this plan to escape and avoid your problems. It sounds like you're pretending to be someone else. It seems to me like an impulsive decision and I am concerned."

What Ed hears: "I don't support this ambition. I think you're incapable. I don't think you can be different from what you have always been."

.................................

This is the kind of analysis done in therapeutic environments. When I put what they mean, it's not just a rephrasing but a boiling down to the core issue. I could go on to the rest of the dialogue but do you see the continuing ship-in-the-night miscommunication?? It's tripartite:

failing to express one's current emotional reality with the most accurate and clear language, often because that reality is not fully understood to oneself,

misinterpreting the other's language, due to preexisting sensitivities and defensiveness about one's own understanding of the situation,

increasing frustration and sense of personal attack that results from those misinterpretations, which perpetuates and worsens the poor communication.

Importantly, this kind of pattern means you miss the best and most important kernels of communication in an exchange because you're reacting to the more inflammatory parts.

Stede: "This can be whatever we want it to be." (I am willing to make changes to our arrangement so that you're happy). Ed: "I don't even know who I am! Alright? I know I don't want to be a pirate. And you, you're blowing up, you're the toast of the town." (I think we want different things. You're just starting a journey that I've already finished).

With those two bits alone they could've sorted this out. The first is the answer to the second. But they didn't -- couldn't -- latch onto it because all their other baggage was getting in the way.

And I'm being proven correct that this is what is happening, because I have seen next to nothing on here about the above two lines, only reactionary takes of fans also focusing on the inflammatory parts because of their predispositions. You're doing an encore performance of what they're doing.

Point being, there are no bad guys in this scene, just repeated system failure!

[primofate]

Genshin Angst Headcanons - Why the two of you broke up

Note: Had an unexpected free day! I haven't written in a while, please excuse the mistakes, if any.

Disclaimer at the end of the post

Warning: Some are pretty predictable. Each of them have their own issues, lore wise, so some are lore heavy. You might not agree with some of them, but its how I see it, so to each their own. Let me know what you think! Some are quite angsty. Some scenes it's you breaking up with him and some are vice versa. Didn't feel like writing Razor, Venti and Xingqiu.

Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Baizhu, Bennett, Chongyun, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kaveh, Kazuha, Lyney, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Thoma, Tighnari, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader

Personal Favourites in this work: Lyney, Itto, Kazuha

Aether

Sister issues. Enough said.

He realized he didn't have enough time to spare romancing with someone.

Somewhere along the way he felt guilt that he was enjoying his time with you while his sister went through some sort of villain origin story that seemingly turned her bad.

Top off all the adventuring, searching, solving problems for other people that he did...Where did that leave you, exactly?

"...I'm sorry, Y/N... I just... I don't think this is the right time for me to be together with you,"

Albedo

Contrary to popular belief it wouldn't be his lack of time or extreme focus on his alchemical experiments that would break the two of you up. He knows how to manage his time.

It was the RESULTS of experiments and his research that would put him away from you.

The possibility that HE or his world, was way too dangerous for you.

How many "Albedos" did Rhinedottir really create? Was there more than three? Perhaps four, five? And what happens when you come face to face with another Albedo?

"I'm afraid...There are far too many dangers surrounding myself... There are answers that I can't find...and perhaps that's the reason why my answer is to part ways with you,"

Alhaitham

Too much of a nonchalant attitude.

He expressed some kind of interest in you...but it's like... once in a blue moon. 95% of the time you're not sure if he's really into you. It almost seems like he's more into that book he reads all the time.

Simply just not good at expressing himself. Like, at all. Hides behind a "whatever works" and "I don't care about what other people think of me" attitude, unfortunately that seems to include you.

Is so straightforward that sometimes it hurts, but he's really just telling the truth through logical analysis.

will act like the breakup didn't hurt nor affect him at all. In turn it hurts you instead.

"I see. So you've had enough of me... And you only spoke up now? Pointing it out earlier could've diverted us from this path...If that's how you feel already I suggest that we stop seeing each other,"

"That's it? You're not even going to try and work it out with me?"

"What's there to work out? You've made yourself clear. You're not satisfied with the way I treat you, and I'm afraid I'm not going to change the way I act just for your pleasure... It'd be more meaningful for you to find someone who fits your criterias,"

Ayato

entering a relationship with a noble was not as easy as one thought.

It's not just about being together forever and feeling lucky because Ayato is rich and your whole life is set, it's also the not fitting in, the etiquette, the whispers from townfolk that you were too ordinary for him, the work that you needed to do if you were to become his wife.

All that was not really a big problem for you, but Ayato seemed not to know of your struggles, he was extremely busy, and when he wasn't, he seemed to think that everything was well and fine, since you were getting all your basic needs met and even more.

"...So I'm sorry, Ayato. This is just... All too much for me. I'm sorry,"

"...I understand. Forgive me, it seems that I've overlooked a lot of things...Perhaps it is as you say, that it'd be better for us to grow apart rather than grow together,"

Baizhu

because he is a ticking time bomb, no matter which way he looked it's not going to end well for both of you.

He either dies early or lives forever. In both scenarios he anticipates that the two of you are just going to be in a world of hurt.

Besides, he didn't mean to get so attached to someone in the first place, he knew his quest for immortality was long and arduous. You didn't deserve to walk that difficult road too.

While breaking up, will conceal the fact that he's only thinking of you and will possibly hurt you in the process.

"I'm sorry, but it's for the best. I ask that you continue going forward without me, there's no space for you in my... ideal future,"

Bennett

We all know it...it's his bad luck. However, it wasn't YOU who had a problem with it, it was HIM.

You understood that his bad luck was just some extended part of him, plus it's not like it was always bad, there were a lot of good times too. Plenty!

But the guilt ate him up whenever the two of you were stuck in a seemingly impossible scenario and predicament, brought on by his luck. He just had enough of it one day.

"I...I can't keep doing this to you every day! It's not fair..."

will be on the brink of tears before he even starts.

"Maybe it's better if you find someone else to adventure with, Y/N, sorry...!"

runs away before you can even get a word in.

Chongyun

Thinks he's not good enough in every aspect. It's really, seriously not about you. He thinks he's lacking in everything. Strength, maturity, experience, confidence.

So badly wants to stay with you but feels like he's not good enough and thinks that you're better off with someone else.

"D-Don't misunderstand... It's not because I don't like you anymore... I just...Please find someone else!"

Cyno

his bad jokes and TCG addiction. just kidding, you're not that shallow.

A lot of people are intimidated by him being the General Mahamatra because he gives importance to justice. While you, who had seen a bit more of him than other people had, it seemed more of an obsession to uphold the Akademiya's law and integrity.

This was not a big problem to you, you liked how he was serious at work.

Until one day when you were accused of plagiarising one of your papers and Cyno was the one sent to give you a first offense warning. The Akademiya knew of your relationship, that's probably why they sent him, to make it harder on the two of you.

Cyno didn't listen to your explanations on how it was an honest mistake, he still gave you the warning that you "deserved"

From then on it had just been different between the two of you, so it was really a mutual breakup. Or so you thought.

"...After that, I just realized that maybe this isn't the right time for us... We're both working for the Akademiya, we both take our jobs seriously...Unfortunately that seems to just be getting in the way of us...I think it's best if we stop seeing each other,"

"...I see." he pauses for a minute, as if tossing your words in his mind. "I...agree. Parting ways would certainly make work easier for both of us...it's the professional thing to do,"

Dainsleif

Has not moved on from his past.

Sure, everyone has their own baggage to carry, their own history to live through...but Dainsleif has heavier things than that. He seemed to wake up every day thinking of Khaenri'ah and the days long past. Was it regret? Nostalgia? Loneliness? You didn't know. You just knew that he wasn't really completely THERE with you in the present. Part of him still lived in the past.

When you explained that you felt like the two of you were not moving forward together and that it seemed like he wanted to go back to the past instead, he got offended.

"...My past is something that I carry forever, you'd claimed that you understood that," he starts.

"I do! But carrying it with you and letting it drag you backwards are two different things!"

He falters for a moment, only to leave you with his last words before turning away from you forever: "You will never understand, the weight that I carry,"

Diluc

is too guarded. You'd been friends for a long, long, long, long time before he decided he could let you in enough and be more intimate with you.

Even then everything was going at a snail's pace, though you were extremely patient with him.

The biggest problem with Diluc was that the two of you would progress one day, take a step forward, and then the next day it was like the two of you took two steps back.

Example: The two of you went out for a simple stargazing excursion late one night, it was nice and he had been incredibly affectionate. The next day he had trouble even meeting your gaze, and disappeared to do his work. It was also a little awkward during dinnertime. This scenario had happened more than once.

Hint: the closer he got to you the more afraid he became, thinking that he would one day lose you too.

"I...I can't. I love you but I...I've waited far too long. I'm sorry. I'm tired of this endless chase for you!"

He couldn't even say a thing. He'd wanted to ask you to stay, to wait for him a little longer, but he already knew how incredibly selfish that would have been. Instead, he grimaced, and looked away from your gaze, trying to find something worthwhile to say. There was only silence for a few moments.

"Goodbye Diluc," that's when you turned away.

Gorou

worships Kokomi too much and your insecurities just kept circling around in your head.

You know its his job. You know he isn't like that but the problem was YOU and not him.

Simply said you let your insecurity eat up the relationship between the two of you.

You couldn't bring yourself to say that you were jealous of the way he admired Kokomi so you broke up with him with another reason in tow.

Unfortunately, you're not a very good liar face to face so you did a butthole move and actually broke up with him through a letter. You just couldn't face him and tell him why.

All you mentioned in the letter was that you needed time to think and be away from him, and told him not to worry because it was your problem, not his.

Poor Gorou reread that letter over and over, trying to understand what went wrong.

Heizou

is just a natural flirt. You're not sure if he's doing it on purpose or not and you're not sure if he's even aware he's like that.

Anyway you'd seen him getting overly friendly (just another word for flirting) with a few other people a couple of times. You didn't let it get to you the first, fourth or even eighth time but you realized that he KNOWS that you're watching him do that.

So you confront him about it, but he claims that it's just his way of gathering information from others. People like to hear good things and some people are more susceptible to flirtatious comments so he resorts to that for his investigation sometimes.

You didn't really completely buy it and even if you did, it's not like this was healthy for your relationship. You just couldn't make yourself comfortable with it.

*You just chalked it up to the two of you being incompatible.

"I'm just not comfortable with that...I don't think I have to say sorry for how I feel but...I'm sorry anyway because I know you're just doing your job... It's probably best if we part ways here..."

"Is there any way to change your mind?" he genuinely asks.

You only give a lopsided smile. "You're a detective, I think you already know the answer to that,"

Yet he didn't stop you from walking away.

Itto

Kept breaking promises because he was too airheaded or too occupied doing something "stupid" with the kids or with his gang.

Pretty soon it just felt like you were an afterthought while everyone else in his life took precedent.

Got a ramen date? Oops, sorry! Got caught up looking for a strong onikabuto in the forest!

Needed his help to move some things? Gah, he was vandalising the bulletin boards, so he's running a bit late!

What's more you didn't actually mind that carefree, airheaded side of him...but it really got to you when he couldn't even seem to make you a priority. Not once.

He only realized that when he came running, late again, and stood face to face with a crying you.

"Hey sorry Y/N, I was just--...Why are you crying?!" is completely dumbfounded and clueless, mostly because when he came late, you had always shrugged it off with a smile on your face, or so he thought. This time you had a completely different reaction.

"I hate you...*hic* I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"

Shocked beyond belief. It wasn't like you to just blow up like that, but he couldn't do anything except watch you turn and run away from him after that exclamation.

Kaeya

Sometimes you're not sure if he takes you seriously.

Recently, he's not where he says he is, you don't know why he doesn't just tell you where he is.

He said he'd be working late, but then you find out he's at Angel's Share.

He said he'll be at Angel's Share, but then you catch word from Jean that he's out on a late mission.

He said he's escorting a caravan to Mondstadt but he's actually on assignment in Liyue.

It came to the point where you altogether just stopped looking for him cause half of the time you couldn't find him. It's like he's avoiding you or something, which, actually, seems just about right since he's been so busy with "work"

It reached a breaking point when, for a week, you were unable to bring him the lunch you prepared...because he was not where he said he was going to be. It was starting to get annoying.

"I don't understand why you're lying to me! Why do you have to tell me you'll be at Angel's Share this afternoon when you're not? Do you realize you make me walk all the way there only to come all the way back with nothing achieved?"

"I'm sorry snowflake, that wasn't my intention," though he still chuckles despite knowing full well that you were about to turn away.

"You know what, let me know when you're ready to stop making jokes. Until then, don't bother contacting me,"

He just didn't expect you to actually walk away from him.

Kaveh

Entertains everyone and anyone. Naturally kind at heart, will stop for anyone in trouble...even that flirtatious man/woman who is clearly just pining for his attention.

No he doesn't quite realize this.

The same person had asked for his help at least 4 times now and all 4 times he had been happy to offer a helping hand.

The last straw was when he was invited into the stranger's house, they had apparently needed someone to help them move and re-arrange furniture and he did, working till almost dinner time.

You'd caught him right by the person's door, because Kaveh was actually honest and told you he'd be helping them today, but the person was clearly eyeing Kaveh rather flirtatiously.

"Come again next time," you heard the person say rather happily. Kaveh only replies with "If I have nothing else to do, I suppose,"

"Kaveh, they're coming onto you and you keep letting it happen!"

"I'm not certain what you're talking about...They just needed some help around their house, nothing suspicious happened at all. Even if there was, I won't let anything happen between me and a stranger!"

"Then STOP helping them!"

"There isn't anything wrong with lending a hand...It was a quick move of things, that's all,"

"How would YOU feel if I just went into someone's house and kept helping them "move" things?"

"...I would think that's nice of you,"

You actually threw your hands up. "Oh, forget it! You know what, for someone who LOVES helping others, you're not doing such a great job of helping ME," then walked away and never came back. "Good riddance,"

Kazuha

He's a wandering samurai. You knew what you were getting into but you didn't expect dating him to be so hard.

He was gone for weeks on end, and you were not getting on that boat with him. In essence the two of you were just not ready to follow each other to the end's of the Earth, and that was fair. The two of you were young.

Kazuha kind of saw it coming, whenever he visited you, you seemed less spirited and he had an inkling as to why. The time apart was just too much for you.

It was a rather clean break actually. A real mutual breakup that the two of you agreed on.

"...You could say it's just not the right time for us," you even managed to laugh under your breath and he did the same, though it was barely audible.

"...Mm. There are matters that you need to attend to here...and there are things that I need to do out there," he slowly stood up from his sitting position next to you and still gazed at you rather lovingly. "...Perhaps, in another world, you and I are bound together,"

You gazed back forlornly, "...Just not in this one, it looks like,"

Lyney

because he will always choose his siblings over you. Always.

Though that's not a bad thing because you also think that family is important...somewhere along the way you realized that family is the ONLY thing he had and saw.

Example: Lynette and you had gotten ill at the same time one winter morning. Perhaps it was the cold that was passing around Fontaine. Lyney had been so worried about Lynette, that he seemed to have forgotten about you for the next few days. In fact, Lyney didn't even realize that you caught the cold too. You had only heard from Freminet, who you happened to cross paths with, that Lynette was also ill.

You thought that incident was the end of it, but really it seemed that whenever Lyney wanted to hang out with you, Lynette had to be there too. You tried to understand...after all there's still that mystery of disappearing women in Fontaine.

The breakup was induced when Lyney completely forgot about your birthday, because Freminet's was around the same time as yours. You helped Lyney prepare everything for Freminet, and said nothing about your own.

You realized that there was nothing wrong with choosing family over everything else...but the problem here was that Lyney didn't even have space for you in the first place.

So you left without saying anything. You figured he'd get over it quick. You had even gone so far as to move away from the main city of Fontaine and out into another island, because what would you say if he found you? That you were jealous of his siblings? You weren't going to ruin a family like that and it wasn't right to make him choose...so you just left without a word.

Neuvillette

Had a whole brainrot for this man:

Part 1

Part 2

Scaramouche

surprisingly it's not his anger issues.

It's the way he wouldn't acknowledge your relationship. You wonder how you even got into one with him.

There's no public show of affection, but even behind closed doors it rarely happened.

You knew that he was going to be like that, and so you didn't mind it all that much.

It was getting a bit much though when, out in public, he would walk further in front of you and refused to walk next to you. When he pretended like he didn't even know you. When he didn't stop to help you even when another man had shown interest in you, bordering on uncomfortable.

The more time passed the more you simply felt unloved...but for some reason you still blamed yourself.

"...I...don't know. Maybe you find me undesirable, or just...unappealing. Maybe you're embarrassed of me or...or..." maybe you just didn't care in the first place, you thought to yourself.

There was a long silence. Of you turning your gaze away, of him still piercing into yours. And then...

"Tsk...don't waste my time...Leave if you want to leave, door's open,"

Tartaglia

This one is simple. It's his obsession for fighting plus his complete disregard for himself. It's a constant heart attack for you. At some point the anxiety is just too much for you to handle.

Imagine living every day just wondering if he's safe at the same time knowing that he just loves to look for trouble.

The foul legacy that you know of, he uses it with disregard as well, despite knowing that it wasn't good for him.

And there are even days where you know he was heavily wounded but didn't go to you, in an attempt to shield you from worry.

It's a constant battle trying to stay sane and unworried, until one day it all just becomes too much.

"...Nothing I say will change anything, Tartaglia. This is who you are...This is who you need to be..." you whisper while bandaging his knuckles. He lets out a short hum.

It was silent all up until you finished with his hand, you squeeze it gently. "...I love you but...I can't keep doing this to myself, I'm tired...more so than I have ever been before,"

He lets your hand slip away from his knuckles, and that was the last he saw of you.

Thoma

This one is also simple. He was always taking care of others and running errands for others that he sometimes just couldn't catch a break.

Just a classic case of not enough time for you since he had a job to do for the Kamisato Clan.

He knows it, and feels awful about it. So he's the one who makes the move.

"It hurts that I can't give you what you deserve, Y/N. This isn't it... You deserve more than this but I can't give you that and I'm sorry. Please look for the love that you deserve,"

Tighnari

Remembers everything. Can be critical of things you've done, specially if he thinks there's a better way to do it.

Simply said you just feel stupid in front of him sometimes.

He doesn't mean to, but he sometimes forgets to appreciate or give praise to the things that you do well and even if he does, it tends to be short lived compared to his constructive criticisms.

Pretty soon you felt like he only looks at the bad things you do, and never the good. Though he was really only trying to teach and guide you as an equal.

He in fact feels that you are one of the few people who can keep up educational conversations with him.

The problem is he kind of forgets that you're his lover, and that you would enjoy his praise and affection from time to time.

"Do you... Do you ever have anything nice to say other than 'good work' or 'great observation'?" the words were out of your mouth before you could hold yourself back. Sometimes it was tiring to feel like you weren't good enough.

There's a flash of surprise that crosses Tighnari's expression for a split second, before he recovers. "...Had I not been praising your work enough lately? My apologies... It has a lot of merits, I just thought that you wanted my opinion on how to make it better,"

You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it again right after to ponder on his words. Somehow even that had managed to make you feel embarrassed. It was here you knew that the problem also lied within yourself.

"...Sorry, Tighnari...I think I'll need some time alone,"

He obliges quickly and asks. "That's reasonable. When would you like me to come back?"

"...Let me rephrase that... I need some time away. From us."

Xiao

Unfortunately there's a lot of things wrong here... his lack of affection. His aloof personality. His dedication to his yaksha duties. Despite that he does actually try to be gentlemanly or respectful of you.

The worst of it is that he didn't know how to be in a relationship, in other words he just wasn't ready for one, or perhaps he would never be ready for one.

He didn't understand that humans craved companionship and sometimes touch. He didn't understand that meant having to favour you over others, sometimes even putting you first over his yaksha duties.

Worst of it all was when he shut himself off from you, sometimes for days on end, when his karmic debt was too high. He only really did it to protect you, but never realized how isolated that made you feel.

When you confronted him about it, he felt attacked. Hiding away was the only way he knew how to cope...why couldn't you understand that?

"Let me help you, Xiao,"

"I don't need your help!" his tone would make you wince and just like that he disappears into a billow of smoke.

You never returned to Wangshu Inn after that. If he couldn't let you in, there was no use trying to knock on his heart. Xiao being Xiao, never sought you ought again either.

Zhongli

He had experienced so many things and you had listened to many a tales from him.

This is what caused you to realize that you hadn't even experienced life at all, and yet here you were willing to tie yourself down to him.

It just didn't feel like it added up. Here he was with all this knowledge of the world and here you were who had never even stepped outside of Liyue. By no means were you stupid, but you felt that you could be better not only for him, but for yourself if you learned more.

There was just such a huge gap in life experiences, and though you never expected to get to his level (he was a God who had lived for a long time, you would never catch up to him) you at least wanted to see what was out there with your own eyes instead of through his stories.

He understood that wholeheartedly, and had no qualms in letting you go.

"You will always have a place with me, Y/N. No amount of lifetimes will change that,"

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Disclaimer: Relationships will always have some sort of problem along the way, maybe big, maybe small but I just want to reiterate that breaking up is not always the solution. Communicating is very important. So to those of you who like taking fanfiction too seriously, let it be known that this is just a work of fiction. I don't actually suggest breaking up with someone as soon as there is the slight indication of a problem (Just saw someone commenting on a similar themed post for Haikyuu that this wouldn't happen in the real world if both parties were mature... I mean, sure, but, idk, you must be fun in parties... it's called fiction for a reason...)

[inlovewithquestionablecharacters]

Aemond Targaryen X Reader: Sweet caresses

a/n: i'm 100% team black but that scene of Aemond in episode 2 got me thinking

Warnings: fluff, mommy issues ( i mean come on), talk of death, no use of y/n, female reader, prostitution.

Word count: 1,4 K

His eyes found your frame immediately. Your body was barely covered, allowing the men to feast on the sight of you. Aemond watched you move around the place, a tray with beverages in your hand. You gave the men pleasant smiles as you continued to move around the room. Aemond knew you were only doing your job but he hated that others could savour your beauty without consequence. He wanted to cut the throat of every man who eyed you greedily but unlike his brother he knew how to control himself. Aemond watched you spin around your eyes falling on his for the first time since he'd entered the establishment.

He watched your eyes widen for a moment before you moved over to one of the other girls. You whispered something in her ear, causing her to look over at where Aemond stood. The other girl nodded her head at you, grabbing the tray from your hands and continuing to walk around the room. You moved over to Aemond noticing the way his eyes trailed down your body. Once you were close enough you grasped his hand, beginning to guide him to one of the rooms.

Aemond wasn't a regular but he'd show up from time to time and everytime he did he requested your company. It didn't matter if you were busy with another man or with other duties, the second he stepped into the place someone rushed to bring you to him. You didn't mind it. Despite everything Aemond was always kind to you. There were some nights where he required you to pleasure him and there were others where he simply craved a soft touch and a kind word. You never knew what type of attention he needed when he walked into your private room but it didn't take you long to figure it out.

There were moments in the beginning where you'd understood his intentions wrong. The first time he began to undress himself you thought he wanted to fuck you. You'd walked over to him kneeling before him, your hands moving to tug his pants down only for him to place a gentle hand on yours. You gazed up at him curiously when he pulled you to your feet and proceeded to latch onto your body and sob. That was the first time you realised there was more to the prince than you knew.

You closed the door behind you before moving over to Aemond. He stood still allowing you to approach him. You gave him a gentle smile, your hands moving to untie his cloak. Your movements were slow but steady, allowing Aemond to stop you if he wished but never showing signs of weakness. Seeing as he didn't react to you fiddling with the strings of his cloak you continued your movements until you removed the fabric from his shoulders. You walked over to a chair placing the cloak on it.

Aemond watched your ass sway as you walked away from him and even though the sight oftentimes aroused him tonight it simply made him crave the warmth of your skin on his.  He moved his hands to his clothes and began to undress himself. You turned to look at him, watching as he removed every item of clothing from his body until he was completely bare before you. You stood quietly awaiting some sort of command.

“Where do you want me, my prince?”

“On the bed.”

You nodded to him, walking over to the large bed in the middle of the room. You crawled onto the mattress, positioning yourself so that your back was resting on the headboard. Aemond watched you move until you were comfortable. Once he noticed you were done shifting around he strode over to you. He climbed onto the bed, crawling over to you. He sat beside you for a moment, merely gazing at your face. You placed a hand on his cheek causing him to shut his eye. 

“Can I take this off?”

“Yes.”

Your hands moved softly over his eyepatch tugging it off of his face with a gentle hand. You gazed into his lost eye, a small pang swelling in your chest at the sight. It used to scare you but now it only made you pity him. 

“What do you need from me?”

“Just comfort tonight.”

“Then that is what you shall get, my prince.”

“I’ve told you before, in here I want to simply be Aemond. Not your prince.”

“Forgive me, force of habit.”

“It’s okay, just don’t call me that again.”

“Yes Aemond, as you wish.”

Satisfied with you referring to him in the way he wanted Aemond moved to lay down in your lap. You placed a hand on his head, stroking his long hair. The room filled with silence for a moment as you continued your caresses. 

“Sing for me.”

“What would you like me to sing?”

“Anything.”

You thought for a moment before beginning to hum a song your mother used to sing to you when you were a little girl. Aemond closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of your body beneath him and the way your voice drifted through the room. Your hands continued to stroke Aemonds hair as you sang, your own eyes closing as you did. Once the tune came to an end you opened your eyes, gazing down at Aemond.

“That was lovely.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

Aemond let out a deep sigh, his hands moving against your thigh to trace the small scars that littered your skin. You could tell there was something on his mind but you never tried to pry information from him. He would talk to you when he was ready. 

“I do regret it.”

“Regret what?”

“What happened with Luke. I lost my temper that day. It was not my intention to harm him. I do regret it.”

“Regret is the first step in accepting your wrongs and learning from them. That's what my father used to say anyway.”

Aemond gave you a hum, his body shifting so that he was laying on his back. He reached his hand out, twirling a piece of your hair with his finger. You moved to stroke his face with your thumb. 

“Aegon isn’t well.”

You wondered if Aegon had ever been well to begin with but you decided to keep your thoughts to yourself.

“Heleana is completely distraught.”

“It must be hard to lose a child.”

“Yes, I imagine it is. Then again I wouldn't know.”

“Do you think of it? Having children I mean.”

“I will someday. It’s part of my duties but I must confess the thought never crossed my mind.”

Silence filled the room again. You could see the wheels turning in Aemond’s mind as he stared up at the ceiling. You placed your palm on his chest feeling his heartbeat. 

“He wanted to kill me.”

You knew he was talking about his uncle Dameon. He used to come around here a lot when you were younger but you never lay with him.

“He fears me.”

“He should.”

Aemonds eyes opened, his gaze falling on your face. You were far too focused on the small braid you were making to notice it though. It wasn’t until Aemonds hand made contact with your chin that you realised he’d been looking at you. He lifted his head up a bit and you understood his request. You leaned down, meeting him halfway. The kiss was brief, as it usually was on nights when he only desired your comfort, but it still left your lips tingling. 

“I think I'll sleep here tonight.”

“If it pleases you.”

“It does.”

Aemond sat up for a moment turning his body so that he could lean against the headboard as well. You inched yourself down, resting your head on the pillow. Once you were in position Aemond moved to lay down as well, his head resting against your chest. His hand wrapped around your stomach as you began to play with his hair once more.

Aemond had found it hard to fall asleep in his room in the castle ever since his nephew’s murder but in your arms sleep found him quickly. You waited a while before closing your own eyes. You’d wake up to an empty bed and a bag of coins on the counter in the morning. And you’d spend the rest of your day wondering whether Aemond would come back the next night. 

[beifong-brainrot]

I am definetly in the minority here, but I was always so deeply touched by Mai's confession during that scene.

There's just something about Mai's confession that makes me feel so unbearably sad. I think the first thing that hits me is just how... empty she seems in this situation compared to the rest of the Firesome Foursome. Zuko is angry™️ and lashing out, Ty Lee is sad and concerned and Azula is posturing. But Mai is just so devoid of even sadness around her chidlhood trauma.

It's sort of like she shut down emotionally to some extent, (even more than usual) especially after her fight with Zuko.

This is quite a common reaction to arguments from someone who was raised to be obedient and non-confrontational, so I'm not surprised she was acting like this.

Analysing Mai's behaviour on the beach is interesting.

She seems to try to reach out to Zuko in her own, tepid little way by greeting him, but clams back up when he asks her where "her new boyfriend" was. This leads to her smacking his hand away when he tries to reach out to her by asking if she's cold. They're both trying to mend the bridge, but end up escalating the conflict further.

She remains silent for a good while, but does speak up in order to defend Ty Lee from Zuko lashing out. Despite this, when Zuko persists, Mai doesn't push the issue, perhaps due to her upbringing to be placid.

Due to this, I find it intriguing when Mai mocks Ty Lee for attention seeking, since she had attempted to defend Ty Lee from Zuko's ridicule. But perhaps its due to jealousy or frustration by Ty Lee's freely expressed sorrow and trauma that made Mai lash out in her own way.

Or it's just because the writers didn't know how to jump from Ty Lee's traumadump to Mai's lol

This is where we get into the meat and potatoes of Mai's confession.

Ty Lee bites back at Mai and parrots Zuko's opinion of Mai being "a big blah" as he said.

Ty Lee : Well, what's your excuse, Mai? You were an only child for fifteen years, but even with all that attention, your aura is this dingy, pasty, gray ... Mai : I don't believe in auras. Zuko: Yeah, you don't believe in anything. Mai : Oh, well, I'm sorry I can't be as high-strung and crazy as the rest of you. Zuko: I'm sorry, too. I wish you would be high-strung and crazy for once instead of keeping all your feelings bottled up inside. She just called your aura dingy. Are you gonna take that?

I think what's interesting here is that while Ty Lee saw Mai as recieving the attention Ty Lee had craved, Mai seemed to receive less loving, parental attention, and more scrutiny. Mai's parents also seem to be actually rather neglectful emotionally towards Mai and them just leaving Tom Tom unsupervised behind a screen in Omashu leaves me questioning if they actually cared that much.

Mai deflects, not adressing Ty Lee's question, but rather focusing on the nebulous concept of auras instead. When Zuko butts in, trying to rile her up, Mai gives a sarcastic apology. I find it very interesting that she sets hereself so aside from the others in terms of her not being "high strung and crazy", because it really shows the difference in Mai's upbringing and that of her companions. Azula and Zuko were raised to be leaders and fighters, and their "firebender instincts" were encouraged, while Ty Lee persumably had to compete for attention with her siblings. While Mai was raised with the :be seen and not heard" mentality.

Now is also a good time to mention that I think Mai has almost comically obvious signs of depression, which wouldn't be a stretch.

Zuko calling Mai out for not getting angry over Ty Lee insulting her aura leads me to my next point. Persumably, being a child raised by parents like Michi and Ukano, Mai wasn't allowed to voice her discomfort, offence or upset. Hell we see this in Omashu when Mai complains about being bored and Michi basically shuts her down and tells her to enjoy it.

I mean look at the expression Michi gives Mai when she starts complaining about being bored, a very normal teenager thing to do.

And when Mai finally does speak her mind, it is no less heartwrenching.

Mai : What do you want from me? You want a teary confession about how hard my childhood was? Well, it wasn't. I was a rich only child who got anything I wanted... as long as I behaved and sat still, and didn't speak unless spoken to. My mother said I had to keep out of trouble. We had my dad's political career to think about.

The first thing that jumps out at us is how Mai presents her trauma. She doesn't explicitly express any pain or sadness, despite it being rather obvious to us. This is in stark contrast to the rest of the group. Ty Lee and Zuko are both very open about their negative emotions, hell, even Azula admits that Ursa's actions hurt her.

But Mai? Mai kneecaps her complaint. This can also be seen as an effect of her upbringing. No complaining, no making herself inconvenient for mom and dad.

We also see the theme of conditional love, an implied idea that Michi and Ukano would only give Mai affection or gifts if she acted the way they wanted her to. Now conditional love from people who are meant to raise you will fuck you up.

The comics also add that Michi actively told Mai scary stories about the Kemurimage to keep her in line. Now, telling kids stories about magical beings to get them to behave isn't anything new, but it appears to be so bad that Mai had nightmares over it. Also we're in a world where spirits actually exist, evil chidnapper spirits don't seem too far out the realm of possibility.

Also as someone who got raised by a heavily Catholic mother who made me believe I would burn in hell for an eternity if I even mildly displeased her, I do sympathise

Azula: Well, that's it, then. You have a controlling mother who had certain expectations, and if you strayed from them, you were shut down. That's why you're afraid to care about anything, and why you can't express yourself. Mai : You want me to express myself? [Stands up and yells.] Leave me alone! Zuko: I like it when you express yourself. [Approaching, attempting to put a hand on her shoulder.] Mai : Don't touch me! I'm still mad at you. Zuko: My life hasn't been that easy either, Mai. Mai: Whatever. That doesn't excuse the way you've been acting.

I love when Mai yells at Azula for frying to psychoanalyse her. Like Azula was right, but it understandably upset Mai, and it's a good thing she expressed that. It means she's growing.

I also do adore that Mai does not let Zuko get away with acting out, particularly towards her. I like that the writer's didn't just have Mai give Zuko a free pass because he had a shitty life and she actively called him out on his actions. It's probably my favourite part of their relationship. And Mai expressing so much anger and upset is a perfect crescendo to her little scene.

I don't know why but Mai confession scene just holds so much weight and emotion for me, I can't help but feel something whenever I watch it.

Also, side note, I find it an interesting detail that Azula's confession only came after the fire was extinguished. Perhaps it wasn't intentional but it kinda feels like its symbolising that the light "went out" for Azula (at least narrativewise) and that while Zuko, Ty Lee and Mai would be able to get out of their shitty situations and from under the Fire Nation's influence, she would not.

[sparrowlucero]

ik you were joking but I would be genuinely interested to hear about the flux cowriting credits strife if you feel like going into detail on it

So I have a big conspiracy theory about season 13 of Doctor Who ("Flux"), namely that there's a lost episode was scripted and even possibly filmed in near entirety, but ended up being cut and cannibalized in post production due to behind the scenes issues, and the fandom has yet to pick up on it.

For anyone who doesn't watch the show: Flux is a miniseries of Doctor Who; a full season was not commissioned because it was produced during Covid. The most important stuff about it for the purposes of this post are:

It's 6 episodes long (¹). The episodes are all directly continuous and could not be shuffled around. (I should clarify here that, no, the showrunner can't simply choose on a whim to make 10 episodes, or only make 4; they had to stick to 6, as that was the amount they were picked up and scheduled for)

The showrunner, Chris Chibnall , wrote every episode apart from episode 4 (Village of the Angels) which he has a co-writing credit on.

(More subjectively but perhaps relevant) The season is largely considered to be kind of a structural mess and (less subjectively) there appears to some abnormal and consistent production issues (²)

So the first thing I need to evidence here is that Chris Chibnall, aforementioned showrunner and writer of the entire season, was late. Like, really late.

Word of mouth gossip had been circulating for a while that there was some sort of on-set problem involving filming having to be paused because he was still finishing scripts: (³)

This would later be confirmed at a Gallifrey One panel (⁴) with Matt Strevens, the executive producer, who suggests that filming stopped to allow Chris Chibnall to finish scripts; he further implies that large swathes of episode 5/Block 2 weren't written until Episode 4/Block 1 (in which Kevin McNally debuts) was filming:

So with that context, let's talk about that Episode 4, "Village of the Angels", the only episode not attributed solely to Chris Chibnall. Co written by Maxine Alderton.

The filming pics reveal an interesting bit of trivia for Village: namely, the clapperboards show that the story was actually filmed as episode 5, not 4:

As the above tweet suggests, this doesn't make much sense. The miniseries is, again, a single continuous plot. It's not like they flipped Village and the current episode 5, Survivors of the Flux; the latter explicitly takes place chronologically after it. And yet, Village having been intended as the penultimate episode 5 is further evidenced by the original trailer for it, in which a character states that the story takes place on the 28th of November. This line is dubbed over in the final episode and subsequent trailers to instead say the 21st:

Why is this line important enough to dub? Because that's meant to line up with the air date of the episode. Episode 4 aired on the 21st and 5 on the 28th. But something happened in post production, and now it's episode 4 on the 21st instead (⁵):

So if none of these episodes were moved around but it does seem like Village was meant to be episode 5, where and what is the original episode 4?

I have a theory.

Flux has a recurring subplot involving two side characters, a married couple (Bel and Vinder) who have been separated by the titular disaster and are traveling the universe to reunite with each other. This story is told through segments sprinkled throughout the episodes. These have a different writing style (including a diary-esque narration only present in these scenes) and an internally consistent visual style that looks somewhat different to the other parts of the season.

Village of the Angels, for instance, is a moody, dark episode set in a village in the 1960s:

However, Bel and Vinder's segments in the episode have a somewhat different look:

On top of this, they never intersect with the episode's A plot (literally or in any clear thematic way), and the majority of these segments piece together into one single scene that seems to have been cut up.

So, what I think is that the bel and vinder scenes across the middle of the season were originally a single full story, an episode 4 that took a breather from the main plot and characters to follow the lives of these two side characters; the differing visual and writing style is due to it originally having been filmed separately and with a somewhat different artistic intent. I believe Chris Chibnall's cowriting credit on Angels exists because these specific scenes are from a script he wrote, but that otherwise the Angel script can be credited solely to Maxine Alderton by normal cowriting standards.

"But wait," you might say, "I thought there were already 6 episodes that are all plot relevant? If no episodes existing right now can be cut, how could this 7th episode exist?"

Remember this tidbit:

The adventures in question comprise a large amount of the next episode (Episode 5: Survivors of the Flux), nearly 20 minutes of a 50ish minute runtime (and frankly, much of the rest of the episode is somewhat fluffy build up that feels like it's taking advantage of an extended runtime). A version without this added plot would, in my opinion, only warrant one final episode rather than two.

I think the showrunner, still scrambling to finish scripts as the episodes were being filmed, and making a snap decision to include a new major subplot (⁶), wrote a finale script so long and with so many plot threads that the only way to keep all this material of was to split it into two episodes, 5 and 6. And because they only could only make 6, he had to get rid of one of the previous 5 episodes - the already scripted and filmed ones - to make room for this new episode 5. A tough order when it's a plot-heavy miniseries... if not for episode 4 being a standalone divergence from the main plot about the lives of two side characters, one that could, in theory, be cut up and dispersed throughout the season without continuity issues for the main story.

(Some notes and clarifications under the cut)

(1) some sources initially reported the episode count as 8; this wasn't inaccurate - the 2022 new years/easter special were part of the episode order. Flux itself was always meant to be 6 episodes long. (2) A few of the production issues include: - episodes filming without a second draft:

- the fx team that had been on the show since 2005 abruptly leaving midseason (because they "didn't feel like part of the team anymore") and returning as soon as the creative team changed, including the head of the studio implying they weren't properly credited (mild vfx body horror warning in link):

- people working on additional projects such as books not receiving clear information on the characters they were assigned to write:

- and likely a director who was put on hold due to a script being rewritten:

Among other things I can't directly cite at the moment, including vfx artists having to do whole episodes solo in crunch time and writers not being told their work was massively overhauled until it aired due to major changes being extremely late in production.

While I don't wish to pontificate too much here and many of these things are pretty normal by themselves, I do think it could paint a picture of a production where an episode well into filming may genuinely be cut on a whim and without consideration for the crew, artists, etc. working on the show. (3) This reddit post comes from a leaker who was known to be consistently accurate. (4) Gallifrey One does not allow filming of panels. I know Kevin's livetweets of panels to be accurate. (5) It's very, very unlikely the entire season was moved back a week, as the premier is a Halloween special that was certainly always intended to air on Oct. 31st. (6) I don't wish to insinuate Chris Chibnall is, throughout his career, an inherently poor showrunner, but I do think that maybe his jump from police procedural - a genre that doesn't involve quite as much concept art, vfx work, marketing, convention panels, set building, episodic storytelling, and keeping in touch with expanded universe producers - to flagship science fiction adventure show may have contributed to some of these issues, especially when he was already in the mindset that things could be changed on a whim (perhaps not such a major issue when it's broadchurch and no new sets need be built)

(source) Basically I don't really think this is "the showrunner's fault" or anything; more that a perfect storm of a showrunner who was habitually late on scripts, used to writing lowkey cop dramas, covid, an entirely serialized season, etc. may have led to these issues

[danyyytarggg]

HOTD is just a complete mess of a story with such abysmal writing that it’s actually mind-boggling to me that the writers really saw no issue with it.

there is no consistency or continuity to the show, and events seem to happen just to happen with no real impact on the story. examples: why did team green exist before viserys’ death if their motivation was going to be watered down to “viserys named aegon heir”? the show tried to beat in that alicent’s children were not safe under rhaenyra’s rule, further emphasized and solidified by aemond losing his eye; this was supposed to be the main motivation for putting aegon on the throne and the scenes on driftmark were perfect in showcasing the validity in alicent’s fears as well as solidifying alicent’s motivations for aegon. then, it’s all PROMPTLY forgotten in favor of a lame misunderstanding being the reason for aegon taking the throne. so really, what was the point in all that? another example, making aegon such a despicable person in season 1. really, what was the point in that if there was to be no continuity or impact or rhyme or reason for making aegon that way? none of it is ever mentioned again, none of his actions had any sort of impact, etc. no continuity or impact whatsoever, so what was the reason for having such triggering content in season 1? tasteless and disgusting. also, the deaths in this show serve NO impact and are forgotten from the minds of the characters so quickly: visenya, lucerys, jaehaerys, rhaenys, sunfyre (maybe?), the almost-death of aegon - there’s a lack of continuity in emotion and impact. the deaths happen, the characters react somewhat appropriately or not at all, and then they move on to the next episode and everything before is forgotten. ESPECIALLY emphasized by the fact that rhaenyra demanded a son for a son as if jaehaerys wasn’t dead for that exact reason. or helaena urging daemon on in his vision as if he’s NOT the man responsible? aemond caring for, at the very least, his mother and sister? gone. alicent caring for her children so much so that she tried to attack lucerys for aemond and stepped in front of a dragon for aegon? gone. aegon being forced on the throne when he never wanted it? gone and now is being given up by the woman who put him there. daemon being supportive of rhaenyra’s rule by the end of season 1? gone. there also seems to be no impact from the larys x alicent scene from season 1, so WHAT was the point of that?

the characters make absolutely no sense to me at this point. aemond, who cared for alicent and helaena, now cold, callous, power hungry, does not care for family. aemond cares more about his actions against lucerys than his actions against anyone in team green. alicent, who is driven by duty, honor, responsibility, religion and cares for her family, though has trouble showing it due to her trauma - sells out all her family members with the exception of helaena to rhaenyra? then asks rhaenyra to run away with her? huh? also, for the same reasons above, having alicent x criston cole makes no sense without showing us their progression. it just doesn’t make sense for alicent’s character to have a lover without showing us exactly how it all came to be instead of just showing us that it happened. and then for her to casually just bring it up to rhaenyra? alicent would NEVER. helaena attempting to help daemon despite the fact that he’s responsible for the murder of her son. even the sudden shift in helaena’s personality/character in the very last episode gave me whiplash and i’ve been wanting her to have a more substantial role in the plot. baela is continuously used as female reinforcement for everything rhaenyra says or does and as jace’s emotional support (that being said, i LOVE jacela, but baela’s character deserves more than just these two roles). rhaena is given like two or three talking scenes and then the rest is her just chasing after a dragon, leaving behind her younger siblings btw. which, i think having her character find strength and power without having a dragon would have done wonders but okay. aegon, i can’t even take seriously bc of his season 1 actions. same goes for larys. corlys forgetting that rhaena exists as an option for heir of driftmark, as if she isn’t the most deserving of that title.

EVERYTHING being boiled down to pro-rhaenyra. rhaenyra can never be in the wrong about anything. even jace’s very legitimate concerns, baela swooped in to convince him why he’s wrong in feeling the way that he does. rhaenyra imposes a blockade on king’s landing, a known fact, the people starve, she sends food - “rhaenyra remembers us even now!” daemon seeing a vision of rhaenyra on the throne, helaena urging daemon to do what’s right, alicent turning herself in to rhaenyra then asking rhaenyra to run away w her. one of her councilman voicing his concerns to daemon and whether rhaenyra is right for the throne because rhaenyra hasn’t done a single thing, does not attend council meetings, is not protecting her allies, refuses any sort of action at all - then demonizing said councilman even though his concerns are entirely founded. even making team green’s motivation for putting aegon on the throne being from a misunderstanding is inherently pro-rhaenyra. bc if their entire motivation is based on “viserys named aegon heir,” which we know is a misunderstanding, then OBJECTIVELY, team green is in the wrong. rather than going with the safety/protection motivation for team green, which wouldn’t have left them being so objectively in the wrong. and for all the love the show writers give to being pro-rhaenyra, they can’t even write rhaenyra well. she’s indecisive, takes no actions, just continuously begs off to go fight, doesn’t attend council meetings, cannot make a single plan on her own (all of her plans and wins have come from either mysaria or jace), is overall, not a strong or competent leader. after all this, they girlbossify her at the end when, after a whole season of doing basically nothing, she acquires three more dragons (which ALSO wasn’t an entirely smart move).

which can i also complain about the lack of strategy, diplomacy, and wits in the show? everything gets watered down to DRAGONS, which is also why rhaena’s arc is so disappointing imo.

additionally hate the lack of development and depth team black members get. it just all goes to rhaenyra and daemon (and SOMEWHAT jace), and that isn’t even done right. then you have team green who the writers TRY to give depth and development to but completely and utterly fail at creating anything truly meaningful.

lastly, i truly believe rhaenyra x alicent was a mistake, ONLY because the writers don’t know how to write it correctly. i really did enjoy the concept in season 1 until they made their relationship hijack the entire show. because of this, we didn’t get to see rhaenyra vs aegon at their full potential at ALL. it was replaced in favor for rhaenyra x alicent. i also believe this relationship is what screwed over the motivation of team green in the show because alicent needed a “just” reason to betray rhaenyra, therefore giving us the dumb misunderstanding trope. it also keeps either of the characters from diving into the potential their characters both have! it keeps them from engaging in war to its fullest extent! not to mention, having alicent throw away her entire family for rhaenyra is CRAZY. then to have her ask rhaenyra to run away with her? after everything? please. if they didn’t know how to write it in a well-written way, they shouldn’t have done rhaenyra x alicent at all bc i fully believe that it is a large reason as to why the show got so epically ruined with bad writing.

oh also, helaena and alys just spoiling major dance of the dragons plot points? i’m really not a fan of that, personally. and i really don’t know how the show is going to build off of this. it also takes away the impact that these scenes would have left on viewers if never spoiled onscreen.

oh last points promise - jaehaerys and jaehaera continuously NOT being called by their names and instead being called “the boy,” “the girl,” “the child,” angers me so much and is crazy minimization of their characters - probably to lessen the blow and impact of blood and cheese? and gwayne confronting criston cole about him sleeping with his sister, the dowager queen, in public, in front of everyone, with everyone watching? so poorly written and read like a badly written fanfiction on wattpad. the show writers forgetting that alicent x criston cole is very much not allowed in westeros and could get both in such crazy trouble by having that gwayne scene and alicent casually admitting to having a lover to rhaenyra is just bonkers.

[mizgnomer]

Behind the Scenes of The Giggle - Part Fourteen

Excerpt from Benjamin Cook’s article in DWM 599:

In the back garden of a lovely detached house in the Cardiff suburbs – “Not a mansion, but enough to make you go ‘Ooh’,” Russell’s script specifies – David Tennant is giving Bonnie Langford a bear hug. “Welcome back!” he’s saying. “How long’s it been? Thirty-four years?” What a touching moment. “Yeah! And then she sort of blew it,” David tells me later, laughing, “and said, ‘Oh, no, I was here last year!’”

In a timey-wimey twist, today – Friday, 17 June 2022, another scorcher – is Bonnie first time back on Doctor Who since 1987… bar a fleeting cameo in 2022’s The Power of the Doctor. She’s carrying an apple crumble through some patio doors.

And there are the Nobles – Donna, Rose, Sylvia and Shaun – gathered around the garden table, beneath the pergola, about to tuck into pots of curry and cauliflower cheese. (Anything but tuna madras, please.) Sat with them, joining the familial fray at Donna’s new gaff, is the Nobles’ lodger: the Doctor, like we’ve never seen him before. So relaxed. So happy. “He’s not really save-the-world Doctor right now,” Chanya tells David. “This is an off-duty Doctor.” He’s regaling his adopted family with The Eyebrows Story that he’s probably spun a hundred times before. He’s almost at the bit with the Warrior Queen of the Felooth when –

“Am I late?” Enter: Mel, wearing a Reiss dress covered in pink and white flowers. It’s a floral riff of her Time and the Rani ensemble (“They put me in white trousers in a quarry,” winces Bonnie, when I ask her about that ’87 gear. “What the hell was that about??”). “Sorry, the door was open, you don’t mind?”

“Mad Aunty Mel!! I was so happy when I thought of that,” says Russell. “At last she’s got a home, a story, a history. I suppose this house is Donna and Shaun’s, living with mum and grandad, and the Doctor as the strange lodger in the attic. They were promised compensation by UNIT at the end of The Star Beast [after their home was ravaged by Wrarth Warriors].

“Or maybe Bonnie Langford should move into Bannerman Road?” adds Russell, tantalisingly. “I wouldn’t object. MAD AUNTY MEL.”

For Catherine, working with Bonnie must be the equivalent of David partnering with Ncuti? Is there a sense that they’re kindred souls? “Oh I mean,” she says, “I’m just not as deep as that.” She explodes with laughter. “We didn’t even discuss it. I didn’t know she was a companion! I was literally going to David, ‘Bonnie Langford was in Doctor Who?!’”

“Bonnie’s quite unusual, certainly from the old show, in that she was probably better known for other things,” David reasons. “That’s quite rare. This show tends to cling to you.”

“That’s the thing about Doctor Who. You can run, but you can’t hide,” says Catherine. “It’ll get you. It’ll bring you back in the end – happily.”

Catherine has no regrets, then, about returning for these 60th Anniversary Specials? No, not one, she insists. Best of all, Donna finally gets the happy ending she deserves – the delightful fate of Donna Noble. “I think it’s just amazing that Russell has found a way to do that,” says Catherine. “I was convinced he was going to have the Doctor and Donna die in some terrible, spectacular way and everyone would be sobbing. But no. We sit in a garden and eat apple crumble with Bonnie Langford. Ha! Which is so perfect.”

When Catherine read the script for The Giggle, she was “a little bit taken aback, actually, at what happens,” she told us two issues back. Now she explains: “That was when it fell into place for me. I realised, the need to want the monumental was the actor in me. That’s not what Donna wants. Donna doesn’t want the drama. What she wants is to bring the Doctor home and to ground him the way she needed to ground herself. That’s how she saves him. For me that’s Russell’s brilliance, that he sees beyond the showiness.”

Catherine texted Russell after reading the script. “I was like, ‘Oh my God, we sit in a garden having a barbecue,’ and he goes, ‘Yeah, Donna gets the ending she always wanted.’ I thought, of course, that’s what she wants. She wants her best friend. And obviously,” says Catherine, smiling cheerily, “they get the best of both worlds, because there’s a TARDIS in the garden as well.”

“I really like that this is part of the garden,” says David, pointing across the lawn to where his TARDIS is stood. The Doctor’s TARDIS, by the patio windows. For now. (He took Mel to New York last week. And Rose Noble to Mars.)

-------------------------------------

For other posts in this set, please see the #whoBtsGiggle tag. The full episode list is [ here ]

[thewistlingbadger]

So when I watched season two for the first time I felt very weird very odd very baffled because it felt like so much information was being thrown at me while simultaneously it felt like nothing was going on. I was truly stunned by how the show was several hours long and yet I felt like nothing was happening. It was such an odd thing to feel. And I'm rewatching S2 for the first time now and that feeling is still there. The feeling of being overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time.

Only now, I think I understand why this is the case. I think the reason why S2 feels like a nothing burger to me is because they glossed over everything that was interesting. Just think about it a moment. The chem barons struggling for power was interesting. Caitlyn's squad going to the Undercity and messing with things, looking for jinx, was interesting. Zaunites rallying against piltover was interesting. Caitlyn's time as a commander was interesting. Vi's switch up on jinx from sister to enemy to sister again was interesting. Vi's emo phase was interesting. Viktor's time in his cocoon and his change of heart was interesting. Mel's family tree and her new powers were interesting.

These were all things that were very compelling and fascinating but we never actually got to spend any significant time on any of these. In fact the majority of these things received the music video treatment. VI after Caitlyn? Music video. Zaun after piltover comes in? Music video. Zaun after silco died? Music video. Caitlyn's squad in the Undercity? Music video. Caitlyn's impact as commander? Also music video. Other things that were interesting were just straight up ignored, like viktor's character switch up, like the change in relationship between jinx and vi, etc. These changes were just things that happened without any sort of reason behind it. Everything that would have been really cool to see was forgotten or only shown for the briefest of moments.

Additionally I think another factor that contributes to this issue is the structure of season two. At times, the season doesn't tell the story in order and certain characters FREQUENTLY disappear for periods of time. For example, in episode two you see that a chen baroness's lair was raided and filled with the gray. However it isn't revealed to the audience that Caitlyn's crew are using the gray in zaun and taking out chem barons until the next episode. When I watched that scene for the first time I was very confused as to what was going on. The scene where they do reveal that it was Caitlyn is so fast paced it's easy to completely miss what was trying to be communicating. I didn't even notice they were destroying shimmer in that scene until after the show ended! Showing vital information so quickly and telling the story out of order makes it hard to follow what's going on.

The disappearance of characters is also a major issue in my opinion. While writing characters off can allow for a more isolated moment to tell a specific story, season two didn't utilize this in the way that was intended. They wrote off several characters and then in that time, they didn't explore anything with the characters they kept. Then way later they brought back the characters that were written off earlier and now those characters that have been MIA are significantly different. There are several examples of this unfortunately. For example, Mel disappears in episode 3. We see her again in episode 5 to explore her story slightly. However Mel doesn't actually join the main story until episode 8. So she's been missing from the main plot line for 5 episodes. This makes her feel really disconnected from the events of the story. An even worse example is in Viktor. As the season progressed, Viktor became the season's main antagonist, but he was only in the show for 5 episodes. Whenever we saw him it was very briefly and we didn't understand why he was so different than he was in the first season. His personality kept changing every time we saw him. How can Viktor be the main antagonist if we rarely see him and don't understand his motivations? Viktor splits from Jayce in ep2, then he performed his first miracle in EP3. We don't see Viktor again until ep6 and by then he already has his own commune and everything. By episode 8, which is the next time we see Viktor, he has completely changed once again and is now actually functioning as an antagonist. So even tho the show treats him like an antagonist he doesn't actually function as one truly until the final two episodes of the show. You just can't have a character disappear for so long and change so much without explaining and showing why.

Season two DOES overwhelm the viewer and it does this by presenting tons of information in a brief period while also not giving the viewer all the possible information. So not only are you trying to understand what you just saw in a flash montage but you're also trying to understand how the show got to point A to point E when they never showed you B, C or D. The show presents information quickly and cuts out information for the sake of telling more story, but unfortunately by doing this they've cut out all the parts of the story that were actually interesting! So we ended up spending tons of time on things that weren't interesting!!!!

[solecize]

  𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (5)

ten years of being one and the same with jungkook as the country's it couple is the perfect disguise for the reality of a tumultuous relationship hidden behind the scenes.

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: a ㅤㅤㅤ year of a death of a thousand cuts because, no matter what comes your way, saying goodbye is never an option. 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: idol!jungkook/female idol!reader and fictional versions of various idols 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄. idol au, on-and-off relationship, angst, i swear there's fluff, fake dating, and themes of first love, growing up, struggles with fame, and marriage (ish) 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. portrayal of a toxic couple (implications of emotional abuse and control), both main characters are very flawed, violence, infidelity, foul language, substance use (illegal drugs) 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. based off of "you're losing me" by taylor swift. this is a fictional portrayal of real-life people that implement some aspects of real-life events. extra warning for violent acts in a relationship (throwing objects at the wall) ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤjoin the taglist here! ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤm.list | previous | next

stop, you're losin' me

i can't find a pulse

my heart won't start anymore

TOP HEADLINE TODAY: new kbs variety show announced - first mc revealed to be s.irens' novaㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   january 2017

the memories of bora bora stuck to you like maple syrup on your hands for years. it was a haunting notion to consider the trip the beginning of the end. you remember the way the golden sand stretched out across the water for what felt like forever, as it shimmered and sparkled under the relentless sun. you could hear jungkook’s laughter echoing in your ears like a melody of a song that looped in your head. the sharpest image of that week glared at you angrily - the first serious fight that you ever got into with your boyfriend.

it was a given that you and jungkook butted heads like any other long-term couple, but you found yourself stomping away to nayoung’s hotel room at the end of the third night with a bundle of clothes in your hands and tear-stained cheeks.

when she swung the door open, her heavy lids indicated that she was about to burst into a complaint about you waking her up. instead, nayoung’s eyes jolted open when they read the expression on your face. 

“what happened?” she asked.

you fought a wail, making sure to shove any sort of crying down your throat because god knows you would never stop if you started. nayoung frowned and opened the door wider, gesturing for you to come in. 

her room was always messy at the dorms and you weren’t shocked to find her hotel room in a similar state of disarray. however, it beat the way you trashed the room you’d been sharing with jungkook.  clothes on the floor, random objects hurled at the wall, and even a lamp abandoned on the floor. the anger you felt was unlike anything you’d ever felt before. you admitted this to nayoung, who looked at you like you had two heads.

“yeah, we fought and i may have knocked some things over. . . “

your temperament was definitely an issue to be discussed, but in your eyes, there were more pressing problems to address. when nayoung made room for you to sit on the left side of the bed, you immediately tucked yourself under the covers and let a few tears stream down your face. 

she frowned. “what were you guys fighting about?”

“jungkook thinks that i’m always too focused on work,” you explained, swiping at your face. “he said i don’t make enough time for him.”

at this point, you were four years into debut and permanently stuck in the fast lane. a few major events occurred in your career recently that changed the trajectory of your group’s popularity - the first being the departure of miseul. it was an unfortunate situation, as she requested the termination of her contract to go back to her hometown, where her grandmother was ill. the company then replaced her with a new girl, cara, who you did not get along with. there was no choice in the matter, though, and your group’s first comeback with the new lineup happened earlier that year.

another signficant dynamic change was nayoung’s quick rise to stardom as an actress. she’d starred in a drama that was one of the most popular of all time on mbc and as a result, grew in popularity that arguably surpassed your group. she had endorsements and jobs coming left and right, which was prioritized by your company over the group’s endeavours. 

it was a bitter feeling, being overshadowed by both your own group mate and boyfriend, but you instead focused on working harder and taking on every project you could. even with bts’ growing status and schedules, you found yourself making less and less time for jungkook and his argument was that he always did more for the relationship than you did.

“focused on work? we’re literally on vacation.” nayoung sighed, coming into bed with you. “i’m glad you’re here, though, y/n. i feel like i haven’t seen you since we landed.”

agreeing to the bora bora trip was a reluctant decision, as it was originally just supposed to be a composition of your and jungkook’s friends. you only wanted to bring nayoung and sooah, until the latter convinced you to ask cara to tag along, since they didn’t want to leave her out. the trip was intended to be the time for you to bond with jungkook, but you were now put into a position to also bond with your group members, especially since things hadn’t really been the same with the girls since miseul left. 

“nayoung, we’re still friends right?” you asked meekly, feeling pathetic even as you said it.

her shoulders dropped and she pulled you into an embrace. “of course we are! why would you say that?”

“ever since we stopped living with each other and since miseul left. . .” you trailed off, tearing away. “i feel like the group sees each other as just coworkers or something.”

you were now twenty years old and experiencing life independently. the same was said for your group mates, as you were all now off doing your own things and only reuniting once or twice a year for a comeback. at some point, you considered these girls sisters. now, those feelings felt miles away. even the bora bora trip felt forced. 

“y/n,” nayoung’s tone grew serious. “i’m always going to be here for you.”

this would be the last time that s.irens would spend time together outside of work. sooah and nayoung’s relationship soured over the years to the point where they no longer spoke by 2020 - a result of merely growing up and growing out of childhood friendships. you also began building resentment against nayoung, who would become the country’s it girl in no time and stopped publicly acknowledging that she was in a girl group. you eventually no longer considered her a friend, deciding you did not want her arrogance in your life. miseul only texted you once a year to say happy birthday. this was the breakdown of the only support system you had. 

when morning came after staying up until dawn with nayoung, you found yourself sneaking back into your and jungkook’s shared hotel room. you were surprised to see that he was not in bed, but felt a salty breeze stream in from the balcony.

  you stepped forward and saw jungkook sitting down, eyes fixed on the aquamarine of the beach ahead. when you opened the door wider to let yourself out, he already knew it was you.

  “i’m sorry, bug,” he immediately said, too ashamed to look at you.

  you were convinced that it was your hothead that drove the majority of the argument and his apology made your heart sink. you were the one who threw things at the wall and spiralled without looking back. he shot back with his own words, but you knew that you were the one who started it.

  without warning, you sat right beside jungkook and wrapped your arms around his back. you put your chin on his shoulder and he physically relaxed, as if he’d been carrying sandbags for days. you whispered an apology against his neck and held back tears.

  “you’re right. i’ve been a horrible girlfriend.” you hated how bitter the words tasted. “i’m going to do my best to fix my work-life balance. you try so hard for me.”

  TOP HEADLINE TODAY: the 2017 edition of the idol star ahtletic competition now filming in goyang!ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤjanuary 2017

  you never felt at fault for your hot temper when jungkook’s jealous eye followed you like a lost puppy. it was just as much as a problem as your own shortcomings and it always felt like a battle of who’s more in the wrong between you two.

  everyone looked forward to each year’s edition of the idol star athletic championsips, a kind break amidst the hustle and bustle of a regular schedule. some of the more active idols took the games quite seriously, but for you and the rest of s.irens, it was several days of filming that were ultimately far more chill than any of your regular promotional activities. coming off the bora bora trip, a little relay race was next to nothing in terms of effort. 

  your group’s event was the last of the day, which left you and nayoung wandering around the goyang gymnasium for the meantime. you were texting jungkook to see if he was also free, when nayoung was called over by some individuals. 

  it was in a tent area away from the view of the spectators and cameras, which you were grateful for at an event where fans watched idols like hawks.

  “nayoung! and nova!”

  exo’s leader was known in the community to be charming and well-spoken, which didn’t surprise you when you found yourself struck immediately. you’d seen him around and of course watched him on television and online, but you could now see up close just how different the aura of a top boy group was. beside him was his fellow group members and participants for the archery event later that day, who were sehun and chanyeol.

  “y/n, this is junmyeon and sehun and chanyeol,” nayoung introduced, beaming. it seemed like her rise in popularity meant that she had begun rubbing elbows with a-list idols like exo.

  you mirrored her smile. “nice to meet you all. y/n is fine, just call me that,” you insisted, as the three of you exchanged bows.

  unlike your fellow group members, you didn’t find yourself to be much of a social butterfly. you hung out with them and your boyfriend - occasionally your boyfriend’s friends. yet, somehow, others knew you. sehun asked if you were doing archery again this year, which you weren’t. junmyeon complimented your group’s last release. chanyeol mentioned running into miseul at the airport the other day. 

  as the pleasantries were made, the floor rumbled with the roar of fans across the stands. in the middle of the arena, the rhythmic gymnastics event was set to begin and all eyes were trained on the competition. that is, all eyes except junmyeon’s, whose own eyes remained fixated on you. it was a foreign sensation to feel your heart leap. 

  “excited for the day ahead?” strained chanyeol, struggling to be heard over the mcs talking. 

  nayoung replied, “yeah! i think our group has a good shot at the relay event!”

  that was false, since you knew sooah was prone to tripping and falling, but you kept that to yourself with a muffled snicker. 

  “it’s definitely going to be a long day. . .” sehun said, yawning. 

  nayoung blew some hair out of her face. “at least it’s only one day of filmng this year.”

  you enjoyed participating in isac each year, as it was mostly fun and games, but it was stressful knowing that cameras were constantly on you. each day of filming felt like the equivalent of a week when you anticipated random fancams of you on the internet the next day, probably doing mundane things like saying hi to a member of exid.

  junmyeon spoke, “it’s going to be a long day, but there’s a thing happening at kc lounge tonight after filming and a bunch of our team is going to be there. chanyeol reserved a whole section for us - you should come.” it took you a second to realize he was now boldly holding out his phone. 

  although the words were meant to address both you and nayoung, he was directly facing you and only looked at you when he asked. you were caught off guard, having trouble finding the words to respond. junmyeon’s eyes were soft and his smile was inviting - you weren’t an idiot. you knew when an invitation was beyond friendly. even nayoung was side-eying you, following the inquiry.

  “uhm - “

  “i’d love to see you there.” it was hard to miss the once over he gave you, as his boys let out a low whistle at his suaveness. you couldn't help but notice the pink tint spreading across your cheeks. 

  the attention felt nice. you’d never been approached so boldly by a senior idol before. and he was hot. you didn’t know what to say, except that you were lingering in this conversation for way too long than acceptable.

  thankfully, the vibration of your own phone interrupted whatever sentence you were to form next. with a glance at the screen, the picture of you and jungkook stared back at you and you were left dumbfounded. why was he calling you in the middle of a live event? 

  you said, “sorry, i think i’m being called.”

  nayoung nudged you, prompting you to turn around and see that jungkook was staring directly at you from a few tents away. his expression was stone-cold and eyes burned in your direction. realizing what it looked like to him with junmyeon basically asking for your number, you groaned. 

  “you think it’s safe for me to walk over there?” you muttered into nayoung’s ear, ignoring the curious stares of the three exo members in front of you. junmyeon had now slowly retracted his phone away, now also noticing jungkook looking your way. 

  nayoung looked around. “maybe if you walk behind the tents, up against the wall,” she suggested, not missing jungkook either. 

  it wasn’t too bad of timing either, since the competition was mid-event and most individuals were preoccupied with that. you wouldn’t have approached him in public otherwise. 

  junmyeon seemed to understand what was going on and he only offered a small smile. “well, let me know. we’re stuck here all day, anyway,” he chuckled.

  you thanked him and excused yourself, following nayoung’s direction to discreetly make your way over to jungkook’s tent. 

  other than him, a few members of bts lingered around the tent, presumably warming up for their event later on in the day. well, that’s what you thought they were doing before, as they were now looking towards you and jungkook, probably witnessing the same interaction as your boyfriend. jungkook’s arms were folded across his chest when you approached and you were already not in the mood.

  “meet me in that hall,” you said as quickly and loudly as you could, not wanting an audience. 

  you turned around without waiting for an answer and jungkook waited several beats before trailing behind, just in case. the two of you found yourselves in the tunnel leading into the main stadium area, which was thankfully empty. 

  you were surprised that jungkook’s fuse was triggered, as you two just shared a nice dinner date the night before with no issues. however, the more you thought about it, his jealousy issues were rising recently - from one wrong stare at a party by a monsta x member the other night to being asked out by a music producer that worked with s.irens.  each interaction was met with rage.

  “are you alright?” you questioned, once you were out of earshot and eyesight from anyone.

  “were they being weird to you?” jungkook instantly replied, jaw clenched.

  you furrowed your eyebrows. “what? no,” you said. “they were just being friendly - “

  “you should stay away from exo, i wouldn’t trust a lot of those guys.”

  “isn’t taehyung friends with some of them?” you dryly shot back, but he ignored your sentiment and continued ranting about how male idols weren’t to be trusted.

  obviously, you and him both knew what he was actually annoyed about. you stood your ground, as you knew you didn’t do anything wrong. it was a harmless interaction and you didn’t expect the entire idol community to know that you and jungkook were dating - well, actually, you kind of did and it was a little bit weird to get the invite in such a flirtatious way, but you were not going to take part. it was shut down immediately, but here you were. 

  after another minute of jungkook going on about the interaction, you interrupted him by abruptly placing a kiss on his cheek. he froze.

  “stop it. i’m fine. he was just being nice,” you sighed, looking around to make sure nobody was hiding in the shadows. “now, can we go back to our jobs, jungkook?”

  though your boyfriend was normally quite relentless about these things, your words did snap him back to the reality in which you were putting your very careers at risk to even have this hushed conversations in the shadows. isac was all fun and games, but you were on the clock with cameras in every corner possible. your slight touch of affection seemed to also help, as jungkook visibly eased when you kissed him on the cheek.

  he adjusted his sweatshirt and sighed. “alright. i’m sorry.”

  and that was the end of that conversation, but another faded memory lost in the chaos of 2017.

  TOP HEADLINE TODAY: the 2017 bts live trilogy episode III (final chapter): the wings tour to commence next weekㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤfebruary 2017

  the bland eggshell walls of the bighit entertainment headquarters didn’t faze you. at the very beginning, it was unsettling just how hollow the corridors and nooks appeared to be, as if the surroundings belonged in a prison. you’d been in and out of the hallways over the past years, albeit often for very few reasons that were pleasant. though it was a huge maze, you memorized the path on floor seventeen.

  upon hearing the loud ding and the metal doors sliding open with ease, you stepped onto the said floor with nothing less than pure anger bubbling in your veins. you clearly made your way up here — through traffic and past the security at the front desk who always mistook you for a crazed fan — with a purpose. you weren’t going to rest until you gave jeon jungkook a piece of your mind. releasing a long sigh, the employees who took a glance up and saw the infuriated expression on your face didn’t even bother stopping you. this had become routine.

  the distinct voices of his group members, combined with one of the group’s tracks amplified through speakers and footsteps squeaking on the hardwood floors in immaculate unison, were enough to tell you that he was here.

  “jeon jungkook.”

  the chorus to ‘spring day’ came to a sudden halt. hoseok was the first person to take notice of you and stopped dancing when you appeared at the doorway. the others noticed fast and when jungkook finally looked up, someone had already stopped the music.

  the look shared by his group mates seemed to read that they knew exactly what he was in trouble for. the prompt end of the music seemed to indicate so. a scared expression flashed on jungkook’s face upon reading your own stone-cold one.

  last time this happened was when you found a pack of cigarettes in one of your boyfriend’s jackets, after he swore up and down to you that he was quitting nicotine. another time was because of him forgetting that you had a date that night. today, the rage running through your veins was due to something new.

  jungkook visibly winced every time you said his full name aloud and here, he nearly shuddered at the sound. his head hung low, like a puppy. he knew what he did wrong this time.

  “i’ll be right back,” you heard him mutter to namjoon who could only nod empathetically, arms folded across his chest as he observed the scene.

  for jungkook’s sake, the group broke out into forced conversation to distract from the two of you. seokjin pretended to ask hoseok for help with the choreography and taehyung wanted to suddenly show the rest of the group a video on his phone. meanwhile, the youngest of the group wordlessly followed you out into the hallway.

  “where were you last night?”

  the question was immediate, not even waiting for jungkook to shut the door behind him. he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

  jungkook asked, “did you really have to come all the way here to have this conversation with me?” exasperation laced his words like a bow, but you were unfazed.

  “well, clearly i don’t know when and where you’re busy,” you shot back, “so i had no choice but to come here.”

  he opened his mouth to speak again, but you cut him off by raising your phone to eye-level. on the screen was the private instagram of cha eunwoo, who posted several slides of content of cheonsa lounge in gangnam. the very first picture was him and jungkook, clutching a shot glass of dark liquor in one hand and a vape in another. upon scanning the screen, where you proceeded to move through the instagram post - one picture of jungkook posing with eunwoo and the bottle girls from the club and the next being jungkook holding a bottle of champagne - silence filled the air.

  jungkook’s shoulders drop in defeat. “i’m sorry, it was a last minute thing - “

  “how last minute?! i called you at ten last night, asking if we could have a movie night in,” you cut him off, “and you said you were feeling sick! you don’t look so sick in these photos, huh?”

  “i was feeling sick, i swear!” he exclaimed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “the boys called me an hour after that and guilt-tripped me into coming - “

  “oh, please.”

  jungkook huffed. “i’m telling the truth!””

  if you were being honest with yourself, it wasn’t a far-fetched idea that jungkook’s boys did, in fact, drag him out to the club the night before. regardless of that, you were more upset with the fact that he declined you, but said yes to his friends. 

  “is a night in with me too boring for you now?” you questioned, jaw clenched. “if you were going out, you could have at least asked me to come!”

  “you don’t have to come out every time with me, y/n, i need time with my friends,” he replied and sighed once more. 

  this made you even more mad. “when did i say you can’t have time with your friends?!” you didn’t like the fact that jungkook was making you out to be such a control freak.

  jungkook groaned. “i didn’t say that!”

  nothing had been the same since the bora bora trip earlier that year. sure, you and jungkook fought like any other couple, but it was never this bad and this frequent. it was as if the fight in the hotel was the first domino to a cascade of falls. coupled with your increasingly exhausting schedules and other factors affecting your relationship, such as your career-driven mindset that was prioritized over everything and bts’ rise to international fame, it was only natural that you and jungkook would only drift farther apart.

  yet, neither of you were ready to walk away. as you and jungkook continued your back and forth for several more minutes to come in the darkened hallway of bighit entertainment, you could hear the opening notes to spring day once more - his fellow members presumably giving up on waiting for him to return before resuming practice.

  i miss you, was the opening line to spring day and it physically hurt your heart to listen to, as jungkook stood just a few feet away from you and still seemed so far away. the two of you gave each other the silent treatment for the next week after.

  TOP HEADLINE TODAY: s.irens fans grow restless as the group's comeback is pushed once again, allegedly to accomodate main dancer go nayoung's filming schedule for mbc's 'far away' dramaㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ   september 2017

  for once, you and jungkook were not getting hazy heads amidst the lights of a nightclub or a packed party, but a charity ball. held at the spacious estate of a member of the family behind hyundai, it was a sight to behold and made jungkook forget that he was in the middle of seoul. he found himself in the back gardens, underneath a marble gazebo that overlooked the lush flowers and twinkling lights of the area. they shone like stars, string lights that hung all around the gardens, and jungkook wished he could share this sight with you.

  things were fuzzy with you, but jungkook held out hope that you would be able to pick up the pieces and fix things soon. after a string of fights the past few months, you had finally reached your wits’ end. it was an imploding, inevitable time bomb that was going to set off sooner rather than later. you and jungkook were beginning to butt heads more than not and one random thursday night, it was d-day.

  there weren’t too many places in the city that would be safe for even just a normal stroll with your boyfriend, which was an unfortunate truth that jungkook had to swallow for years on end. more than anything in the world, he wanted to flaunt you to the whole world to show everyone just how lucky he was. he was so in love with you and that was never going to change.

  from the moment he met you, he was smitten with your beauty and the nail in the coffin was your addicting personality that he was so naturally in sync with. to have someone so incredibly bewitching as his best friend, all jungkook ever wanted to do was scream to the world that you were his girlfriend. 

  instead, your date nights since the turn of your early twenties consisted of outings like secluded nature walks, friends’ homes, long drives, and if you were careful, the corner store at night. maybe that was why jungkook loved enjoying the seoul nightlife with you - it was a safe space where you could be with each other and with each other, the most important thing other than pounding music and letting alcohol wash away your worries.

  your last date was no different, as jungkook suggested to take a walk along the han river. you had no qualms about the suggestion - though, evaluating the place as a date wasn’t the catalyst to your agreement. you knew that there was a conversation to be had and you could have done in anywhere at that point. it’d been over two weeks since you last saw each other, as missed opportunities sipped from your fingers to sit jungkook down and have a talk about your relationship with him.

  jungkook saw you from a mile away - it was hard not to when you were literally wearing one of his hoodies. even though it’d felt like forever since the dna promotions began taking over his life and you were off filming a drama, he could always spot you in a crowded room in just seconds. you were waiting by the water, looking off into the seoul night skyline. a black baseball cap hid most of your face and you were smoking a cigarette - a habit that you eventually picked up from jungkook, despite initially chewing him out for the unhealthy habit. you eventually decided that you were also too overworked to not have a vice.

  on the other hand, jungkook had been cold turkey for a whole month. he’d grown disappointed of himself for giving in so often on ruining his health, especially as a singer. a frown tugged at his lips when he approached you, just as you were finishing up.

  your eyes always brightened when you saw jungkook, but tonight, you saw something in his own that prevented it. offering a small smile, you walked closer up without a hint of a light in your eyes.

  “hi kookie,” you whispered and pulled him into a tight embrace. jungkook always loved your scent - a strong cinnamon and vanilla smell that warmed his heart, even on breezy autumn nights like this one.

  his face was in your hair, holding you just as tight, when he realized something. something odd.

  jungkook stepped half a foot apart when the hug concluded, examining your features. “there’s something wrong, isn’t there?” he asked, as the anxiety came to settle in after you chose to hug him instead of kiss kim.

  your lips pressed into a thin line and he knew. you insisted that you two hold hands during this walk, which he wanted to refuse, but eventually decided to remain quiet about it. hands clasped, you two began to stroll south of the river.

  for a bit, you and jungkook bantered about how you stole his hoodie without him even realizing it. then, an uncomfortable silenced emerged, as you both could only listen to the light stream of the han and the passing cars nearby. 

  it was jungkook that said something first.

  you let him speak freely because on any other day, it would be a battle marked by avoidance and stonewalling. jungkook had suddenly come to a stop in the middle of the path, after the silence became too grand for him. he reached his limit, too.

  “we should take a break.”

things had been getting weird for a while now between the two of you. you were always fighting and when you weren't fighting, it was when jungkook was overseas, away on the wings tour.

  that’s when your heart began racing. “a break? you want to separate?” 

  “we obviously can’t be together. this isn’t working out. we clash too much and we’re always screaming at each other and we’re risking our jobs and - fuck, i’m sorry.”

  the rant was cut short when jungkook, after pacing back and forth as he spiralled with each word, paused in his tracks at the sight of tears streaming abundantly down your cheeks. he stopped and immediately felt the ball of anxiety at the bottom of his stomach transfigure into a heavy dread accentuated by guilt, weighing heavy on the inside. his chest began hurting and apologies fell from his lips, as he took you right back into his arms.

  “i love you, i know it’s been hard, but we can’t break up,” you hiccuped in between each short breath, barely audible when your crying face was pressed up against jungkook’s chest. “do-do you really feel that way?”

  jungkook rapidly shook his head, not even taking time to think about it. “no, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it. i’m sorry!” he cooed, rocking you back and forth.

  after a moment of just crying from the two of you, you were finally able to catch your breath and rubbed jungkook’s back, hoping it would help him catch his. his breathing eventually slowed back to normal.

  “but, i think you’re right. . .” your voice suddenly emerged, barely above a whisper. “i don’t want to lose you. . .but we need space.”

  “i’d do anything to save this relationship,” jungkook replied and the statement brought you an unknown feeling, spreading across your mind. “whatever you think is best. i can’t lose my best friend - let’s take some time and come back stronger.”

  and that was the agreement. it had been just about a month since it happened and there was no progress since. your and jungkook’s schedules were busier than ever and it was only a coincidence that you both ended up at the same charity ball.

  for the first time in a long time, seeing you felt like remnants of a far away memory - shattered glass pieces of your relationship dancing in the air that, if jungkook tried hard enough, could be grasped at and remembered. your hair was now blonde and made longer with extensions, brushing just above your tailbone. you wore a periwinkle evening dress, soft satin mirroring the chandeliers on the high ceilings and fanned out into a flattering mermaid tail shape. jungkook hadn’t seen you with such makeup before, as you wore a cherry red lip and a sharp cateye. you looked different. . .good, but different.

  jungkook saw you in the foyer, mingling with some chaebols and looking bored. jungkook noticed that you came with sooah, presumably to represent s.irens or your company as a whole, but neither of you so much as looked at each other. jungkook grew worried that you were slowly isolating yourself from your friends. he was also worried that your bored eyes were instead tired eyes from such a hectic schedule.

  there wasn’t any way that jungkook was going to get your attention in that moment, so he instead carried on with his night as normal. he greeted friends, looked for opportunities to network, and helped himself to the fine wine. after an hour, he wandered outside to get some fresh air. then, he looked out at the beauty of the gardens and thought of you, as he strolled down the cobblestone path with a glass of red in one hand.

  he wasn’t sure how long he’d been pondering for under the gazebo, until he saw the time of his watch and realized that it was probably time for dinner to be served. jungkook sighed, stepping out of the gazebo to make his way back inside the manor, sneaking one more look at the calming moon and hoping to run into you at the party. 

  jungkook’s wishes were met sooner than expected, as he spotted you by a tucked away corner, smiling from ear to ear. he was taken aback to see the source of your giggling, being some guy he knew from the korean national football team. one of their best players, actually, as jungkook was quite a fan. he was one of the most popular athletes in the country, it was no surprise that he’d be brushing elbows with other a-listers at this charity ball. jungkook hand clenched into a fist, watching the two of you flirt away from everyone else.

  throughout your years together, jungkook was always a bit of a possessive type. in the way you were far from perfect, he also understood his own flaws. i mean there was quite a lot, like anyone else - he was also bad at communicating his feelings, often shutting down, and cared a lot about appearances.  

  none of that mattered in this moment, as he began walking straight toward you.

  in your defense, you genuinely believed that space meant that you were single. had you been the one to make a fuss about breaking up? yes, but. . .well, there was no but. it’d been years since you were able to prance around without the worries of a relationship and although you wanted jungkook back, it was admittedly freeing. 

  bae sejoon was the striker on the men’s national team and had been eying you since you walked into the estate. the two of you previously crossed paths at a lounge in gangnam a few months ago and now seeing that jungkook was not presently attached to your hip, he made the first move. it was hard to ignore - his coy smirk and athletic build that exuded masculinity. however, your only intentions were to simply ravel in the attention sejoon was willing to give to you.

  as soon as you arrived to the event, sooah already left to go greet some of her model friends in the main dining room. she didn’t ask you to join - you’d been drifting apart since the beginning of the year and moving out of the dorns. meanwhile, you planned to politely mingle with other guests, given that you were technically here because of work - despite wanting nothing more but to lay low and keep to yourself. 

  “well, maybe we should go together. can’t believe you’ve never been to the best cafe in all of seoul.”

  instead, you were batting your eyelashes at sejoon, who’d been going on about some french-style cafe that just opened up in the city. you didn’t think he was a particularly interesting guy, but he was cute. a cute distraction. 

  you said, “that sounds fun.”

  except, sejoon didn’t know that you stopped drinking coffee two years ago. he didn’t know that you found little coffee shops pretentious and too hipster-y for your liking. you forced a smile. 

  jungkook always got you pastries straight from one particular bakery. he remembered your matcha order word for word. he made fun of coffee shops that tried too hard to be different with you. he. . . . he was now right in front of you?

  you made it known to jungkook that you loved seeing him in all black. as the first kiss of autumn dawned upon seoul, he donned a long sleeve dress shirt and slacks. tailored and in the consistent shade of all black, the sight lit a fire in your stomach and you found yourself in a haze of how good he looked. 

  jungkook never hid how attracted he was to you, even after all these years of being together. he scanned your appearance from head to toe, licking his lips. it was as if there wasn’t a whole third person in your presence, as explicit images ran through both of your minds. it’d been so long since you saw each other and the tension in the air was like molasses. 

  “hi y/n,” jungkook greeted, not even looking sejoon’s way, until the other male cleared his throat. “am i interrupting something?” the glare jungkook sent sejoon was sharper than a blade.

  sejoon rolled his eyes, already realizing his defeat. “yes, actually,” he replied. 

  your eyes remained trained on jungkook until that moment, where you had to physically shake it off. 

  “jungkook, you know sejoon,” you began reluctantly, noticing jungkook’s hard planted feet.

  he only grunted in response, still not caring enough to say anything to sejoon and acknowledge him. 

  at this point, sejoon was over it. he looked at you and then at jungkook’s menacing figure, arms crossed and glare still fixed. it was as if you watched him calculating his odds during this conversation and decided there was no winning.

  sejoon turned to you, a crease in between his eyebrows. “nice chatting with you,” he said and solemnly walked away.

  you would have otherwise rolled your eyes at such a dramatic reaction if it weren’t for jungkook standing in front of you. everything about him was so mesmerizing, as the time away truly made the heart grow fonder. the smirk pressed against his lips showed that jungkook knew exactly what kind of effect he still had on you.

  “i’ve missed you,” were the words that fell out of your mouth, almost instantly, and you wanted to kick yourself. how pathetic.

  jungkook eyed you. “didn’t look like it just now,” he tried to be casual, but the sharpness in his voice was loud.

  “still as jealous as ever, huh?”

  your initial tactic was to play hard to get - even if you and jungkook had been together for years, it’d been so long since you could just flirt and tease him. it was a spark that’d been missing for quite some time now. a smile played mischievously on your lips.

  truthfully, this was what jungkook needed. he was initially despondent upon your agreement to give each other space, sulking for several days until work got too busy to be dwelling on emotions. the time away and seeing you look at another man sparked something in him, too. his lids grew heavy.

  he said, “so, this is what space means for you, huh?”

  jungkook sounded as angry as he was hungry. it set him off, as his gaze lowered further and further down your body. on any day he would be ticked off, but his feelings of frustrations today instead felt warm and inviting. you froze when he stepped closer towards you, close enough that you could simply speak in secrets. 

  “i don’t know what you’re talking about,” was all that could come out of your mouth in a heavy breath, too mesmerized to make any further attempts at wit.

  he was now just about nose to nose with you, but you couldn’t muster up the strength to meet his eyes.

  “you’re nervous.”

  “no, i’m not,” you said, edge in your voice.

  lying right through your teeth wasn’t the best strategy when jungkook could see past it like glass. you were happy to flirt and dish it out, but being so close to jungkook so suddenly left you at a loss for words. you forgot where you were for a second and when you realized that the two of you were in public, your heart began beating like a butterfly’s wings. despite this, he was bold. he didn’t move an inch, willing to risk it all. 

  jungkook let out a low chuckle. “you won’t look me in the eye. you’re nervous, baby.”

  “what do you want, jungkook?” you asked slowly.

  his gaze trailed back to where sejoon walked off to. “what was all that about?” he said.

  the answer was glaringly obvious to you, as jungkook innocently brushed a hair from your eyes and you resisted the urge to shudder at his touch. nothing in the world compared to this feeling.

  “honestly?” you began, as identical smirks began to form on both of your faces. “nothing. nothing at all.”

  that was all that needed to be said. jungkook, without tearing his eyes away from you, wordlessly took his phone out of his pocket and made a call. he licked his lips as he spoke and everything else in the world faded to grey. jungkook was a cascade of the colours of the rainbow, illuminating brighter and brighter like the sun until you were blinded from seeing anything else. he was a kaleidoscope that shone in front of you and you were emerging from a place with no light.

  it took you a few moments to realize that jungkook was calling his driver. however, as far as he was concerned, the night wasn’t over - it was just getting started.

  jungkook finally stepped away and you somehow felt so cold. “i’m going to leave out of the west wing doors. my car is there. leave out the east wing doors and walk around to meet me.” his directions were precise and somehow not commanding. tone soft and a gentle hand on the small of your back, it was the worst feeling of all.

  familiarity. comfort. home.

  all you could do was nod, your chest growing louder with excitement. both of your synergies were one and you both knew what idea came to mind. not much else needed to be said and there wasn’t a single part of you that could say no. his knowing smile was haunting.

  after parting ways in opposite directions - as if a conversation didn’t even occur -  you eventually ended up in the back of a limousine with jungkook.

  time moved oddly in between those two moments, as the only thing you could think of was jungkook. it was an addiction no different than chips across a roulette layout or a cup of espresso at the same time everyday. 

  thankfully, the driver’s partition was already up when jungkook opened the door for you, because he immediately captured your lips before you could even sit down. like second nature, your fingers found themselves in the crown of his hair and his hand held your neck like a trophy. you both stumbled, now sat - at least he was. you were already straddling his lap. he tasted like red wine and you could have indulged for forever. 

  “mph, that’s what i fucking thought,” he mumbled against your lips and you took his as an opportunity to slide your tongue into his mouth.

  his hands began hiking your previously eloquent gown up, enough that he could grip your thighs from underneath. your own hands found the buttons of his shirt, as the limousine began to speed off in what were probably going to be circles until jungkook told the driver to stop. 

  being in love was a vicious cycle that proved to be endless. this pattern would only continue from here on out. no matter how deep your passions for each other ran and no matter how addicting each others’ touches were, it only grew worse from here. more fights than lasted weeks to only be swept under the rug with a fuck and make up or a bottle of whiskey shared between you both. growing issues that were overlooked because that was your best friend. 

  your heart was no longer in it - it was trapped. all you could do was forget and forgive. all jungkook could do was beg and shower you with love. the night at the charity ball was one of many roots that eventually grew into deep seated resentment.

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[love-and-war-on-cybertron]

Teach a bot to kiss: Rodimus

I rewrote this a couple times and I might just do so again. buuuuut for now.~

Rodimus taps against his desk, venting out a rush of hot air. His focus is far from the stack of data pads and he is trying to keep it even further away from the human sitting on said stack. Your focus is on your own human size data pad, trying to help him out. Optics lingering on your mouth, your lips. The shape, the color, the way they purse when you're thinking too hard. He wonders if they are as soft as your hair. Or more plush like your body when he carries you. Your lips move as you silently read to yourself, a flicker of your tongue behind teeth makes Rodimus give up any attempt to focus on work.

A few nights ago, Swerve hosted a human movie night. You had called it a rom com. Swerve and you loved it. Most were perplexed, but the snacks and drinks were worth a stay. Then there was the scene where two characters embraced each other and started smashing their intakes together. Being the only human aboard, and thus defacto human expert, the bots asked you questions about the strange act. The closest any of them came to understanding your flustered explanation was a data transfer without cables… and data. Just sensitive nerves of the lips.

Rodimus spent every night since tracing the lines of his derma, wondering what it would feel like to kiss. More specifically, what kissing YOU would feel like. Curiosity leading to more research of rom coms. More research leading to more curiosity. Curiosity leading to want. There was one teeny tiny problem. Actually there were multiple problems, including the fact he was the captain of the ship. No doubt in his mind that Ultra Magnus could pull at least ten codes on what that was not permitted from his memory. The biggest problem, is the smallest.

You. You are small.

Most organic species are diminutive compared to Cybertronians, humans especially so. Rodimus thinks it's adorable, who knew there was something smaller than a minibot? You are tiny and soft and fragile. One wrong swipe of his hand had already sent you to the med bay. If he picks you up and squeezes too hard, if a bot isn't paying attention to where they are stepping, if you fall off their shoulders. Just being around his kind is risky. When has Rodimus ever shied away from risk?

It wasn't like you two hadn't been dancing around some sort of mutual attraction. Snarky innuendos, compliments, any excuse to spend time together. There was something there. Rodimus may not be able to do a data transfer with you, but he had a mouth, and you had a mouth. could he kiss you? Would his size be an issue? what if he didn't like it? What if you didn't like it?

"Can you show me how to kiss?"

Looking up from the datapad, you give Rodimus a questioning look. Clearly doubting you heard correctly, "What?"

He carefully takes the datapad between his thumb and index, placing it to the side, his optics focused on you, "Show me how to kiss, like in the movie."

"Oh… Oh um…. wow." You take a moment and run your hand over your hair, "You want to… learn how to kiss?" He could practically hear you panicking internally. See your temp rise the same way it did when he would teas you.

"Yeah. Cultural exchange." Rodimus chuckles, tapping his digits against his face plate. The way he says that has you narrowing your eyes and catching onto his game.

"Cultural exchange?"

"Cultural exchange."

"Alright… pucker up."

After explaining why you said that, a little bit of snark, and a little bit of thinly veiled flirting; Rodimus had you in his hands, lifted up to reach him better. Your eyes flickering over his helm, his finials, the lines of his hands. Anywhere but his optics.

"Nervous?" he asks.

You pause, a hand on his chassis to steady yourself. Eyes finally meeting his gaze, "Yeah…"

His spark flutters at the soft tone you take. "Yeah… me too." Rodimus watches as you find a comfortable position, glancing up at him. He doesn't want to say too much and make you change your mind. "I'm gonna… just… you stay still, okay?"

Rodimus nods and keeps himself still as possible, feeling the rapid beat of your heart through your hands on either side of his face plates. Carefully lifting yourself close, his other hand comes to steady you. It reminds him how fragile you are. A kiss to his chin doesn't give much sensation, but Rodimus' spark still jumps and chases his thoughts away from those thoughts. A kiss to his helm and he dims his optics with a hum. Intakes hitch when your lips find the corner of his mouth, making him turn his head. Brushing against your mouth before he jerks back.

"Sorry." He mumbles, shifting slightly. Patience was a virtue he struggled with. One kiss in and Rodimus wants more, to kiss you back, like they did in the movie. You just offer him another smile and kiss again. The metal here has some give to it, smooth, warmer than the rest of him. Which was a lot to say for a bot that already ran hotter than most. From the corner, to the center; small pecks trace the seam of his mouth.

Rodimus dares to give in and kiss you back, his movements restricted and stiff. Hand flexes slightly against your body. He doesn't like being passive, and shifts, hand still cupped against you to avoid another trip to medical. Every peck from you is followed but a gentle nudge back from him, the puckering eludes him. Doesn't stop the bot from pressing against your cheek, trying to mimic what you did earlier. It takes a couple tries to properly judge how much pressure he needs. It's more nuzzling that your typical kiss. A good first try for a cybertronian. Soft. So soft. All of you, but your lips especially so. Rodimus gets bold, trailing kisses. With enough nuzzling to find the right spot, your neck. His engine revs in response to your gasp. That was a good sign, he was doing something right. Another and your muttering something, pushing him away.

"That's for another day Roddy." You press your forehead to his chin and ignore his pout.

Rodimus presses a kiss to your cheek again and you can feel him purse his lips, getting a little better, "So I'm the greatest kisser you ever had, right?" "Oh my god…"