#impulsive desires

[lully-jo]

I wonder how many people really love and relate to Alisaie because they too were the girl who struggled to understand how folks around her could act like suffering and selfishness and hivemind behavior was normal and their softness was called a weakness and so they built up an abrasive exterior to force people to take them seriously and now they don't know how to be vulnerable without feeling embarrassed or cringe even though they still feel things so deeply it's almost suffocating...

[acknowledgetheabsurd]

You have closed all my paths, you have melted in you all my impulses and all my desires, you have erased for me the rest of the world that is not you; but the insatiable thirst still burns me and the race continues, more dizzy than ever. I want everything from you, and the more I am given, the more I demand with all my strength.

Maria Casarès to Albert Camus, Correspondance, February 10, 1950 [#182]

[sexylittleslutsls]

When impulsive morning urges take over .. fuck going to work we need to fuck again …. 😈😈

[teh-nos]

u know what though... i don't think this facepalming is for the witnesses in the room, but i also don't think it's an "oh no, thor's so stupid" facepalm, i think it's a "why the fuck did i do that?" one. i don't think loki especially wants to invade jotunheim, he just thought it'd be a laugh to get thor to do it, but then oh shit thor is actually going to do that so now he needs to sabotage it somehow (telling the guard) but also:

"shit, i've fucked this up, haven't i?" it seemed like such a good idea two minutes ago. couldn't help himself. wouldn't it be funny if? but now they have to go to fucking jotunheim and he could so easily have just not done that. oops! facepalm time!

[sexylittleslutsls]

Stepping aside together at the party .. the champagne is now forgotten as desires together start to unleash you whisper to me “We need to leave now .. as there are impulsive needs to fulfil tonight” …. 😈😈

[orangerosebush]

At once, Artemis has this all-consuming need for control and rejects being treated as a child, yet nonetheless, there's a longing for the protection (care?) of childhood that he sees as beyond his grasp (“It’s too late for me [..] am too old for tussles with Father" in TTP). During the months of recovery, post-resurrection, I would imagine Artemis feeling almost uncomfortable with the sustained gentleness of the life he’s been thrust back into.

[starleska]

speaking of HABIT moments which give me the shivers...😳💖

[sylvancastor]

Writing out my preferred way the battle at Rook's Rest should have gone because why not.

The beginning mostly stays the same. Criston signals for Aemond and Vhagar, but Sunfyre arrives first. Aemond sees him fly overhead and is pissed, but he doesn't wait to follow him into battle because he's not an idiot and as much as he wants the crown, he's aware of the intensity of the blow losing Aegon would be to their cause.

Still, Vhagar is slow and has to launch herself off the ground, so Aegon gets their first and has an initial fight with Meleys but Vhagar's quick arrival keeps Sunfyre's injuries from being quite so intense. The two of them attack Meleys side by side, but due to her speed and Rhaenys's expertise, she manages to keep evading them with fairly light damage.

Meleys takes off high into the clouds and Aemond and Aegon follow her. No one can see them from below. Aegon urges Sunfyre to engage directly with Meleys and the two dragons become locked together. Instead of intervening this time, Aemond simply watches as Sunfyre is injured and Aegon cries out for his help. Aemond only watches.

We can see the anger in his eyes. It would be so easy to allow Meleys to kill Aegon and Sunfyre. He could say he did his best, but that Aegon refused to battle carefully. He would be honored after he died and Aemond would become king. Aegon doesn't notice the inaction, too focused on saving Sunfyre and himself. In a desperate move, Aegon unclips one of his restraints to grab the dagger at his side and drives it into Meleys's eye as Rhaenys screams in shock and fury.

Meleys wails and lets go of Sunfyre, dropping out of view. Aegon is triumphant and turns to his brother with a smile. Aemond isn't smiling. We watch as he follows Meleys's descent and decides he's safe for now. He returns his attention to Aegon. It would be so easy to do the deed himself and blame Meleys. He contemplates it only for a split second, but Aegon's face goes from smiling to horror. We think he's understood what Aemond plans to do, but in fact, his eyes are fixed on a sight behind him. Meleys has darted up from behind, mouth open and poised to burn Aemond in his saddle.

Aegon doesn't hesitate. He urges Sunfyre forward and as Meleys breathes out a wall of fire, he throws himself and Sunfyre in front of it to protect Aemond from the blast. Before Aemond can react, Meleys sinks her claws into Sunfyre's chest and pulls him out of sight.

Aemond pursues, but it's too late. Meleys has bit into Sunfyre's wing and Aegon can barely stay in the saddle with his one remaining restraint. Meleys rips her head back breaking off part of Sunfyre's wing and the king and his dragon fall through the air, landing in the forest.

Similarly to the show, Aemond is able to defeat Rhaenys and Meleys on his own after Aegon's fall.

Later on, we learn the only reason Aegon was able to survive was the one remaining restraint held him to the saddle but allowed him to slide off to the side enough to evade some of the dragonfire. He's still burned and in pain. He sacrificed himself for his brother and Aemond can't betray him now. Not when he owes his brother a life debt, not when he's seen how deeply Aegon loves him. He becomes Prince Regent and reconciles himself to forever protecting his brother from this point forward.

[heartbreakscars]

theres something about wanting to do what shouldnt be done

the smell of a warm carby meal after deciding to start a diet

knowing you should be saving money but maybe one pair of shoes wont hurt

the guy you know is trouble inviting you over but you just cant get yourself to say no

it seems everything i desire so greatly

is always something i shouldnt be doing

so why am i always so drawn to it

like a magnet pulling me in

i know its bad for me

some things that could even kill me down the line

but like a moth to a flame

i still do it everytime

because how i see it

theres some beauty within that fire

some people may call it dumb

say that im sabotaging myself

but they can point their fingers and laugh

because how bad can it really be?

in a world full of unreachable sunshine

shadows and wind down dark dusty alleys

when i feel the warmth and shine of that flame

im the one who can experience getting close to it

sensing its beauty in full when others see it as too dangerous

its something i could never regret

but however there always is that possibility

of getting burnt

[shilo-sumac]

sometimes i wonder who the real version of me is. if all the masks are removed... i think id just be an empty slate

[mayapapaya33]

I am really appreciating Sam's care and attention to detail and ethics in her use of charm magic. A lot of times stories kind of gloss over how fucked up that kind of thing is when the "good guys" do it. Now, it's an adventure story, there's going to be combat and shenanigans, I just feel like messing with someone's willpower and brain should be on par with the hack and slash mundane violence that also happens in those stories.

They made it clear that this particular magic wasn't imposing a new alien thought, merely amplifying something already present, as if to make it ok, and I really appreciate how Sam still recognizes the horror and lack of consent in that anyway. She lower's people's inhibitions, like a drug. Sure, maybe deep down (or not so deep down) there might be a desire or an impulse somewhere, the important part is the ability to act or not act on those impulses of your own free will.

Setting aside all of the normal amounts of random thoughts and desires someone might have and NEVER act on for a variety of incredibly good reasons. Have you ever stood next to the edge of a cliff or ledge and had your brain, just for a split second, suggest jumping? With 0 suicidal intent by the way, just a fucked up little "huh that would be wild," and then it's gone. Under the "rules" of Sam's magic, that still counts, it was already inside you after all, she didn't invent it.

And that's just neurotypical levels of brain fuckery. Speaking of suicide, that's also a "desire already within someone" she could amplify if you wanted to get real dark about it. Or imagine if she got ahold of someone with ocd or schizophrenia or kleptomania or something. Those ARE in your brain already. Somebody with ocd might "want" to spend the next 6 hours washing their hands until they crack and bleed, that doesn't mean it's a good thing. And if she has the power to strip away impulse control that is horrifying and I really respect her for knowing that.

[centaurianthropology]

One thing that perpetually baffles me in the current dialectic when it comes to fiction is this odd insistence from some people that it has to teach you some sort of moral lesson. I've legitimately heard people say that the story was good, the characters were excellent, but there was no deeper Moral Meaning, and therefore the book was an empty shell of what it should have been if it really had Something to Say. And just ... why? Do you need this book to teach you morals? Are you an extremely young child in need of guidance from everything they come into contact with? Can a story not simply be told well?

I genuinely dislike when any book or other work of fiction tries to teach me morals like I'm five years old. I am looking for interesting characters and a tight plot. I do not need all fiction to suddenly revert to some Medieval mystery play to teach important life lessons.

[gayleafpool]

i think a big thing people get wrong w leafpool’s character is thinking her passivity comes from like fear or insecurity or being shy or something when really it comes from like. defeat. she’s been burned so many times so now she just accepts it there’s no point in fighting back

[anarkhebringer]

[acknowledgetheabsurd]

This marvelous love that you have given birth to in me divides me unceasingly between two contrary impulses which drive me in turn. On the one hand, the terrible and growing need that I have of you pushes me continuously to demand everything of you and every day more. On the other hand, I recognize that your happiness, your own esteem, a certain peace that you will never be able to find again if you act according to my worst selfishness, have become much more dear to me than my most desired wishes.

Maria Casarès to Albert Camus, Correspondance, February 15, 1950 [#195]

[sexylittleslutsls]

We barely made it in the door as we were getting naked ….

Clothing Optional.