#imported dinner set
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karachinewsupdate2 · 3 months ago
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mercless · 2 months ago
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🗡 dozing off writing replies but im curious how others go about writing out stuff/the order you write particular parts, and if you have a different way of writing depending on if it's a reply, ask, or a drabble 🤔 in most cases I find I write out any spoken words first, then the tones or actions done while talking, and then depending on the writing purpose add trains of thought, other actions or specific actions that convey emotions. stuff I looove getting lost in writing include describing scenes, settings, environments, food or the time of day! for drabbles I usually start with these descriptive elements to get into the mood of it.
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bulldagger-bait · 2 months ago
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When it comes to hygiene tasks and self care with disability and chronic illness, its pretty much a constant case of: don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.
Basically: it's better to do something, than to do nothing at all.
TLDR: Just because you can't do something "properly" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all. Do it half-way. Do it shitty. Do it barely. Do it on a technicality. But do what you can. Just try, because doing something will help you.
If you don't have the energy to scrub your body with a sponge, just rub soap over your skin with your hands.
If you don't have the energy to wash your whole body with soap, just hit the places where sweat accumulates, or where you're smelliest.
If you don't have the energy to wash with soap AT ALL, just sitting in water is better than nothing. It will wash away dirt and oils.
If you can't bathe or shower at all, a warm wash cloth is your new best friend. If that's too much, then try bath wipes. They're a bit bigger than regular wet wipes, and a bit more heavy duty. They're designed to help keep bed ridden patients clean in hospitals.
If you don't have the energy to dry yourself after a bath or a shower, just put on a bathrobe and get into bed. If you don't have the energy to get dressed afterwards, just don't. It can wait until you can.
If you don't have energy to brush your teeth for two minutes, honestly, just a cursory scrub is better than not doing anything.
If you can't brush your teeth twice a day, brush in the evenings. It will help take away the build up of food from the day.
If you don't have the energy to brush AT ALL, honestly, just take a cloth and wipe the plaque off your teeth. Rinse with mouth wash after if you'd like. Something is always better than nothing.
If you can't floss twice a day. Try once. If that's too much, try a few times a week. If that's too much, try setting aside a day once a week as a goal. If you can't keep a schedule, do it when you're able to. Hell, I keep some floss next to my bed so that if I forget and don't have the energy to go get it, I can just reach over.
If you can't iron your clothes, don't bother. Wrinkles are fine. Wear jumpers over wrinkly t-shirts. No one will know, and honestly, most people won't even care. If it's really wrinkly and it's A Big Deal And It Needs To Be Ironed, here's my life hack. Step 1: take a spray bottle, and spritz the item of clothing (while you're wearing it is easiest) until it's lightly damp. Step 2: use a hair-dryer on the clothes until they're dry. It gets rid of creases like nobody's business, it's easier than lugging out the iron and ironing board, and you get to have nice toasty warm clothes afterwards.
If you can't fold your clothes, try just hanging them up. It's less commitment. It's quicker to do. Granted, you need to have the space in order to do this, but it is also good at helping you downsize, and lets you visualise exactly what you have.
If you can't put your clothes away, invest in a couple of laundry baskets, and then just keep your clean clothes in the baskets. You can then separate washed clothes into underwear, pants, and shirts baskets. You can just leave them like that. I'm giving you permission to never fold your laundry again if you can't. Just leave it unfolded. Who's going to care? Something is better than nothing. If you can, try to put those baskets into your closet so that you can keep the clutter out of sight, and give yourself a more restful environment.
If you can't separate your clothing out into different categories and wash them "properly" (whites, warm tones, cool tones, darks, delicates / switching between hot & cold washes / paying attention to laundry instructions on the label) then just don't worry about it. If you cold wash your clothes, colours won't bleed. Maybe gradually over the course of dozens of washes there'll be some changes in hue, but it's really not as high stakes as the One Red Sock In The Whites Turns Them Pink trope makes it out to be.
I've pretty much come to the point in my life where if a piece of clothing can't survive the washer and dryer, then it's just not meant to be. I colour separate my clothes, and if I have the energy/remember I'll take my bras and jumpers out of the washing machine to drip dry. But otherwise, I leave it to the universe.
If you can't separate out your recycling, then don't. If you have a large amount of rubbish you need to get rid of but the idea of separating it out properly is stopping you from doing so, then just don't worry about it. I know it's not ideal, but if you have garbage in your room/house and you need to get rid of it, please just get rid of it. Don't let the problem get bigger and harder to deal with. Don't let "doing something properly" get in the way of keeping your living spaces clean. Please. Give yourself understanding.
If you can't wash your dishes, get paper plates. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it is better that you eat food than skipping meals. It is better that you have a clean kitchen, rather than having dishes piling up and making it harder to look after yourself.
If you can't prepare meals for yourself keep making the tasks easier and easier. If you can't do recipes, then simplify. Use pasta sauce from the jar instead of making it. Eat canned soup. Buy food you can just stick in the oven. If you eat fish fingers and microwave veggies every night, it's better than not eating anything at all. It's better than having to fork out money on take-out. If you need ready-made meals, then get them. If you're literally just eating a raw cauliflower for dinner; 1) I see you, 2) me too, sis, 3) something is better than nothing.
These are the basic things you need to do every day to function as a person. They are your activities of daily living. Brushing your teeth. Bathing or showering. Using the bathroom. Getting dressed. Eating. Drinking. Sleeping. Keeping your environment clean. You don't need to do these things perfectly, but they need to happen in order for you to have a decent quality of life.
And it breaks my heart, because I know that so many disabled people can't do these things every day. I'm not saying this to guilt or judge, I'm saying that these are basic needs; you deserve these things. These things bring dignity. If a disabled person is unable to do these things, it diminishes their quality of life. It robs them of dignity.
If you need help to do these things, Its okay to ask for help. It's okay to need help. But if you can't get that help and you have to do these things by yourself -- or you just plain want to be independent and do it without help-- then don't hold yourself to standards you can't meet.
Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Even if it's not perfect. Even if it's not done well. Do what you can.
#lord knows that im still trying to pull myself out of the muck and into independence and dignity#i had to set a rule for myself that i need to wear clean clothes every day. and that i need to wear pyjamas to bed#that one's been hard. sometimes I dont have the energy to do it and i just stay in the same clothes for two days at a time#or i go to sleep in what i was wearing. but when i do follow that rule my quality of life is drastically better#not feeling dirty or gross goes a long way to making you feel more like a person#i also made a rule that im not allowing myself to look frumpy outside anymore. that means clothes that look nice#no more trackies and pj pants and all that stuff. i basically lived in perpetual pyjamas for four years and im over it#i still dress comfortably but the important thing is that i dress. i look put together. i wear things that make me happy#(and i didnt need to buy anything to do so. i just needed to start taking better care of myself)#and i stopped letting perfect be the enemy of the good. i started doing things shitty rather than not doing it at all#and the more i keep pushing with my ADLs the better i feel#what helps is now i dont have to contend with stairs and that has made a dramatic change to what im able to accomplish#ive also finally built up enough strength in my body that im able to go to the shops by myself. so i can buy things to make easy meals#and mum doesnt mind if i just put some things in the oven or air fryer for us for dinner.#i still cant really cook. i felt bad about that for the longest time. i didnt even try bc i knew what id make would be disappointing#or it wouldnt be up to the standards of what everyone else was making. i was so sick of feeling like a let down all the time.#now i just make what i can and my mum doesnt complain bc shes in the same boat.#and yeah. having help would be nice. it would mean id be able to do more than what i can do by myself.#and its great to see how far ive come. but im not a burden. and when i have the accommodations i need i can do a lot more#i do something rather than nothing and my life has dramatically changed since then. ive just gotten better and better.#chronic illness#disability#chronic pain#spoonie#one things for certain and thats that im never going to let myself rely on anyone else ever again.#i never want to be on the other side of that ever again. I don't want to be anyone's burden. i dont want that hanging over me#i do things by myself or i dont do them at all. and god fucking willing i'll never go back to needing as much help as i used to#i really didnt realise just how much of an obstacle living with stairs was in my life. it was the biggest barrier against everything#stairs stopped me from being independent. if i couldnt traverse them i just didnt go anywhere. my world shrank so much#and not having the proper wheelchair shrinks my world even more. im stronger than i used to be but im still severely limited in where i go
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piebutt · 4 days ago
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veilguard was great but the inquisitor was done dirty.
i have some work to do.
genuinely tho i had such a wonderful time. they actually made a good game? choices sure fucking mattered!
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moonlust-demon · 3 months ago
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etherealspacejelly · 11 months ago
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this is your gentle reminder to stop fighting against your adhd and instead structure your life around it
buy a pack of chapsticks and put one in the pocket of all of your coats and jackets because you always forget to bring one and chapped lips is sensory hell
leave important things where you can see them. if they go in a box or a drawer you will forget they exist
put any appointments or deadlines in your phone calendar As Soon As you get them. set a reminder for a week before, a day before, an hour before, as many as you need as often as you need them.
when that little voice in your head says "i dont need to write that down, ill remember it" that is the devil talking!!! write it down anyway!!
plan for down time. have a few hours at the end of every day to just do fun stuff like engage in your hyperfixations. even if you didnt get all of your work done that day, have the rest anyway. you probably spent the whole day beating yourself up for not doing what you Should be doing, so you still need the break.
if you never eat vegetables because its too much effort to chop and cook them, get the frozen or canned shit. it doesnt go off for ages and you just have to microwave it. theres no point buying fresh vegetables if they just keep going off and being left to rot in the bottom of your fridge
if you struggle to decide what to have for dinner every day, take the decision out of it. choose a set of meals and eat those on rotation until you get sick of them, then choose some new ones and do it again.
its not stupid if it works! our brains literally have a chemical deficiency. you are allowed to accommodate yourself. go forth and stop making your life more difficult than it has to be because "this shouldn't be this hard". it is hard, so make it easier.
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telomirage · 5 months ago
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"who here has skin? raise your hand" - friends at the table: palisade without context
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reaperfromtheabyss · 1 year ago
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Calling All Catholics!
Weird thing for a Jew to post I know I know but hear me out here.
I would like to hear from Catholics (current and ex/raised),
what do you feel separates your religion from others (both other sects of Christianity and other religions as a whole? what feels unique or specific to you/your culture/your beliefs/your church? this can be theological beliefs, practices, or even aesthetics
what things feel "inherently Catholic" or "Catholic coded" to you?
if you don't mind, would you also include what subset of Catholicism you are/were raised in (Roman, Byzantine, Irish, Opus Dei, etc)?
As you may have guessed, this is for research, and I personally only have experience with Roman Catholicism (and limited experience at that, more cultural than truly religious). I would love to hear from a larger subset of people. My family is extremely Italian Catholic but that's just one very specific version, and I don't have much/any experience with any others. I'm curious to see what the common ground is.
Reblogs/signal boosts are appreciated as I doubt I have like a SUPER broad Catholic following myself lol!
#raised Roman Catholic#currently a lets not think to hard about that now y'all#There's kinda a big three on what I at least was told were the Big Catholic things#even if I haven't really experienced other denominations to confirm#but belief in the Transubstantiation of the Eucharist is the biggest#The way Catholics do the rite of confession/penance seems to be slightly elevated from other denominations that still practice it#since it's important before partaking in the Eucharist especially before Christmas or Easter#The veneration of the saints ESPECIALLY the importance placed on Mary and prayer to her#patron saints seem to be more of a catholic tradition than wider christianity#although I want to say eastern orthodoxy has their own Thing with saints that is a little different#and most catholic churches will have at least a statue or stained glass window of Mary#if not her own vestibule or shrine off the main sanctuary or narthex#The importance placed on a set hierarchy and ritual to everything does lend a certain sense of universality to it all#like a catholic church and mass is a catholic church and mass pretty much regardless of where you go#Back to the Mary thing the Rosary is pretty Catholic-coded#oh I think Ash Wednesday at the beginning of lent is pretty much just a catholic thing#Other denominations might do advent wreathes#although I learned recently that some noncatholic advent wreathes may be VERY different from the catholic one#Not eating meat on fridays during lent is fairly unique to catholics as I understand it#so the friday fish fry (yes I know fish are meat but not on fridays during lent apparently) or spagetti dinner are common culturally#Most catholic churches I've encountered will try to have at least one mass in Latin#although that can vary by size of congregation and how many priests the parish has cause it's generally less popular#oh during mass there's a lot of standing and sitting and kneeling and standing which gets jokingly referred to as Catholic Calisthenics
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writersdrug · 3 months ago
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Simon "Ghost" Riley is the kind of man who:
In your shared home, always sits with his legs spread. Manspreading king. Adores it when you cross your arms and give him a disapproving look, saying there's no room for you. "Course there is, luv. Jus' sit between my thighs."
Refuses to let you do simple tasks around the house, like making tea, folding his underwear, or putting away the dishes. One might think it's a sweet, husbandly gesture - but he's just super picky. You made tea in the microwave once, and now you're banned from ever touching his tea stash. Likes his underwear folded in a specific way, and you don't understand the importance of it. He got tired of you stuffing his underwear in his drawer, so now he folds it himself. And the dishes? Couldn't stand how you put them away. "There's no rhyme or reason to 'em." "I didn't think there had to be, Si-" "Just gimme the damn bowl." Fewer chores? You aren't complaining.
Looks like he's always on edge - and he is, kinda. When he's out with you, he can't help but be alert and watchful, and extremely protective of you. You've tried to get him to loosen up - it's the supermarket, what could happen? - but have just come to accept it as his nature. Plus, you get that giddy feeling when you see other men look straight down at the floor, avoiding Simon's stare as the two of you pass.
Is the grumpiest, poutiest, and most indignant man ever when he gets sick. Doesn't want you doting on him in case you catch whatever he has. But, wait - where are you going? "Get your ass back in this bed - 'm cold." Grumbles like a child when you force him to let you get up to grab him soup, tea, or medicine. And no, he doesn't care how sick he is, he's not wearing that stupid, floppy ice pack hat.
Brings Johnny over unannounced, and you've grown used to it. The moment you hear that Scottish yapping out the front door as the key unlocks, you grab a third plate for dinner - he insists you don't need to feed him, but you always make extra for Simon's lunch the next day regardless, and the last time he'd said that, he ended up grabbing an extra fork and picking from Simon's plate. Which, of course, had Simon up at 1 am making instant ramen because he was still hungry, but didn't have the heart to ask you to make him a decent meal. So, yes, Johnny would be fed.
Loves spoiling you on your birthday. What is a man if not someone who spoils his partner rotten? Orders in food from your favorite bakery, sets all your presents neat and nice on the table (the excellent wrapping job done by yours truly, Gaz), flower petals sprinkled on the ground and the table top (also Gaz's idea), and a seat on his lap so for you while you open your presents. Loves watching your face light up, and each little "you remembered?!" fall from your lips as you open each gift. Scoffs and shifts in his seat. "I's not that much of a fuss, luv..." as you squeal excitedly, but you know he's biting back a proud smile. The blush, he can't even attempt to hide.
Is somehow a magnet for your young nephews. Every time he comes along to your sister's place, he's either making conversation with her husband in the living room, or he's interrogated and cornered by her two sons. And, lord help him, he doesn't understand it either. He'd always expected kids to look at him like a monster, but, especially with these two, that was never the case. They'd ask him for stories about "being in war" - half of the time, he'd make up some not-too-gory adventure, sparing them the details of real war. The rest of the time, he'd talk about "Soap, my mate who blows everything up." And they'd listen with wide eyes and jaws on the floor.
Has scared you unintentionally, more than too many times. He'd come home at three in the morning from a mission, and all he wanted was to quietly peel his dirty uniform off and slip into bed with you. His main intention was to avoid waking you up, because you'd force him to shower before joining you in bed - and he was too tired for that. However, you'd been rounding the corner, up for your 3 am glass of water - you screamed as you saw the hulking, dark figure by the front door, launching your phone at him. He'd caught it effortlessly and shoved it into his back pocket. "What've I told ya 'bout using the bat?" "I was just getting water!" "I coulda been anyone." "Well you're not." "Missed ya, luvie." "Missed you too- but you're grimy. Go take a-" "No." He grabbed you and threw you over his shoulder, ignoring your protests as he hauled you back to bed.
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inbabylontheywept · 2 months ago
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by tradition, the first day of the camp was spent pranking the group next to us. our prank was ziptying the zippers on their sleeping bags together. we figured one of them would sleep with a knife, because we all slept with knives, because we were dangerous maniacs and half the danger of a dangerous maniac is that they tend to think that they are Actually Normal. so. obviously that didn't pan out, and instead they got stuck in their sleeping bags for like half an hour and because their scoutmaster slept in their car and couldn't hear them yelling, they actually only got out when one of them went full caged animal and chewed through the plastic. which meant they had time to make it to the axe throwing station, but they did miss breakfast.
the scale of our victory was impossible to understate. it was an epic prank. unrivaled. the best in years. we knew they were going to retaliate, and we both feared and craved it. maybe i'm still a maniac, but that feels like a common thing, right? do well adjusted people that are not maniacs crave Judgement?
(serious answers only please, from people who would never spoon a knife.)
anyway, the next day we got back to our camp, and the neighors had skipped dinner to just come back and fill all our tents with pinecones. which was like, a decent prank, i guess, but it probably took them an hour to fill all the tents up, and it took us like 15 minutes to tip the tents out, and as a return volley to the ziptie prank it was incredibly underwhelming. we felt a little cheated.
so our scouting group held a council, and we agreed, unanimously, that our prank was 100% better and theirs sucked and that there would be no escalating tensions because we were the clear victors. they'd had their chance to retaliate, and they failed, and so the war was over. that was it.
we agreed on this. we swore. but madness is a relative thing, and in our group of maniacs, we still had J. i have many, many J stories. too many. i biked up to school with him from 4th grade to 8th, and i saw him get hit by cars thrice. he'd just swerve into the road sometimes. one time on a rainy day in 4th grade, a car splashed me, and before i could even consider my response J yelled I GOT THIS and then he blitzed off after the car. i didn't see him the rest of the day. i was so anxious i barely slept that night. i saw him the next morning and he told me that he'd chased the car until it got to a gated community and then he'd climbed over the fence and looked in peoples garages until he found the one with the car, and then he'd ripped the hood ornament off and broke their window. then he gave me a hood ornament to a different brand of car from the one that splashed me and i didnt tell him because i didnt want him missing more school. i want you to mentally adjust your mental model of the things a 9 year old is capable of doing to include chasing a car for five miles, hopping a fence, breaking into a garage, and vandalizing a randos car.
and that's just the tip of my J stories iceberg.
the point of all this is just to say that J was so crazy that he made us knife spooners look like accountanting enthusiasts.
so we agreed the war was done, and we shook on it, and then J, in the name of friendship, in the name of honor, in the name of avenging our pinecone filled tents, snuck over to their camp that evening and fornicated with a watermelon that they'd been saving in their cooler.
i want to emphasize, again, that this was not the consensus of the group. that is not a prank. like i know it seems like we dont know what pranks are because of the whole ziptie thing, but even we knew that fucking someones food is not a prank, it is a crime, and a sin, the kind of weapon that had only been ethically used once in history by Horus in his battle against Set and none of us dumb assholes had owl heads.
so.
the next day went pretty well. we threw some more axes again, which is a valuable and important skill for children to learn i guess, and we learned how to tie knots, which is a skill that turned out to be far sexier than i ever expected, and i learned how to light fires with a magnifying glass, which was great. i'm looking back at this, and i am actually just now beginning to realize that the clear and obvious point of scouting is turning child sociopaths into apex predators.
and then the day ended, and we went back to our camps, except for our leaders, who had a sort of Scout Leader Meeting they were going to have for a few hours at least. it was built into the camp, that day was supposed to be our day to chill as a group, and make peach cobbler, and just be buddies.
except, as it turned out, our neighboring group's alternative to making peach cobbler was eating their watermelon. so at some point they opened their watermelon, and woo boy. oh man. you think catholics hated seedless watermelons? you should see how much mormons hate seeded ones.
so we were chilling by the fire, and then we heard screaming from the camp over, but we didn't pay much mind to that because there are many reasonable explanations for a group of 10ish children to scream simulanteoulsy, such as wasps, which are abundant in arizona, and then the screaming got closer, which did not bother us because there were many reasons for a group 10ish children to scream and run towards us, for example, wasps, which are abundant in arizona, and then we noticed they had large sticks on them, which we figured were perhaps being used to drive away the wasps, which are abundant in arizona, and then they arrived and they started beating the shit out of us, abundantly, in arizona.
so we ran into the woods.
now, at this point, we had no idea what was up. we knew that the camp next to us was out for blood, which was crazy, because we'd actually locked them in fartproof bags for 30 minutes and they'd barely done anything back, and were trying to figure out what could possibly have happened that could drive them to Terrible Violence when we realized that J was cackling like a witch that had learned how to order children off of ebay.
so we politely asked J what the hell he had done, and he politely explained that had "done" their watermelon, and we politely beat him with large sticks because life is nothing but endless cycles of violence.
we were still being chased by the other camp btw. so it was them, chasing us, chasing J, and then they got tired and went back to their camp, and we chased J a little longer because we were mad we'd all been walloped with sticks, and J did not care because he was a supernatural entity whose only weaknesses were Needles and Fire, and then we got tired and went back and J kept running, and we just kind of figured he would come back eventually.
he did not.
we went back to our tents, and we waited, and J did not come back. we stayed up all night, peering into the forest, worrying. our leader came back, and we did our best to hide our battlewounds, and he either genuinely did not notice or simply accepted this as part of Boyhood. then he went to bed, and we waited, and waited, and waited. And Waited. and did not sleep.
eventually, we convened again, and we agreed that if J was not back by after breakfast, we would have to tell the scoutleader about what exactly had transpired. and we really did not want to do that, because it would have meant that everyone would have gotten in a very large amount of trouble.
morning came around, and J still was not back. we went to breakfast, and we ate very, very slowly. we were afraid the other camp was going to continue their war with us, but they actually looked fairly frightened. one of them actually came to us and asked for a truce, and we agreed because we truly felt bad for them. like, yes, they did beat us with sticks, but J fucked their watermelon. we werent complicit in the watermelonfuckening but they didnt know that, and it was definitely the kind of crime that left one outside the bounds of the social contract.
and then when we could eat no more bits, when breakfast was almost done, right when i was getting pushed to go and tell the scoutleader that we needed to find J, he arrived. he was sleep deprived, and noticeably scraped and bloody, and tied to his belt was a blood squirrel tail.
and i asked him, J, where did you get that? and he said, don't worry man, it was already dead, which did not answer by question and gave me several more.
the camp ended that day, and the other groups avoided us like the plague, and it was not until some weeks later that we were able to piece together what happened.
J, in his sojourn through the forest, managed to find (or, possibly, make) a dead squirrel. he then cut off the tail to keep on his belt, because he was a weird little freak like that. he also took the dead squirrel, and he skinned it, then he tied it to a little crucifix made of wood, and he left it in the other scouting group's camp. which is why they were so scared of us.
it was such an unhinged thing to do it actually sobered us up for a while. scouting became a scary thing for us. we'd found something dark and primal there, in the place where no adult could see, and our appreciation of J as a wild ride kind of changed into seeing him as something truly dangerous. we had a sense wherever he went, something terrible would follow, and the only way to escape it was to not be there when it arrived. and so piece by piece, the scout group dissolved. it wasnt until he moved out of that ward that the rest of us started daring to go back to scouts.
and for the final epilogue of the tale:
i have a little brother who was friends with a younger cousin of J's, and the two would go to parties together in highschool. and sometimes J, who was in his early 20's at that point, would show up at the parties, and it was unsettling in such a way that it just became a known risk at parties with the cousin. and at one party, they were playing truth or dare, and J wasn't even in the room, but someone asked him the Truth of how he always knew how to find the cousin, and J said the cousin's mom had mentioned she was worried about him and the parties so he'd put a tracker in his car. and when he saw that the cousin was out of the house on weekends, he'd made a visit by, just to make sure he was safe.
then he left. and every single person at that party went over that poor kid's car. they searched the wheel-wells, checked underneath it, the works, until they found the tracker. then because they were clever, they didnt break it, or throw it away, or anything that would've given away what they'd done. they just gave the tracker to the cousin, who put it in his glovebox. and on schooldays, he'd take it with him, so J could see him in the parking lot. and on weekends, he could leave it in the garage, so he could go to parties with out Hell coming with him. because everyone that met J - every single person - knew that the only way to be safe from him was to be far, far away.
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karachinewsupdate2 · 5 months ago
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entitled-fangirl · 2 months ago
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Tradition.
Cregan Stark x Pregnant!reader
Summary: the reader and Cregan go to King's Landing to support her nephew, Luke's, Velaryon claim. She goes into early labor away from the North.
Warnings: Aegon is his own warning, body shaming, talks of brothels and stuff, labor, blood, death, fighting, all that stuff.
A/n: Based on an ask! I'll proofread later 😭
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Cregan held out his hand to help his very pregnant wife out of the carriage. 
He absolutely hated riding by carriage. It seemed pointless when you could ride a horse instead. But when summoned to King's Landing by King Viserys with his Targaryen wife to join the rest of her family, he had to guarantee her safety on the travel by any means necessary.
Alicent's face lit up at the sight of her daughter, practically running over Cregan to get to her. She embraced the pregnant woman tightly, "Oh, my love! How you've changed!" 
Y/n hugged her mother back just as firmly with a smile, "I've missed you, mother."
Alicent pulled away and admired her grown girl, "King's Landing is better with you here." Only then did Alicent notice Cregan, "Oh. Lord Stark."
Cregan bowed his head politely, "My queen."
"Cregan has been eager to see King's Landing again," Y/n chirped in, "He has only been a few times."
Alicent's brows lifted, "Really? I wouldn't have thought that."
He nodded, "I could've been patient enough to wait until after the birth, but alas, when the King calls, you answer."
Alicent gave a forced smile, "Right. Of course. The birth." She looked to her daughter, "How far along are you, my dear?"
"Nearing eight moons now," she said nervously with a hand on her swollen stomach.
Alicent didn't miss the equally nervous and protective look in Cregan's eyes.
Dinner that night was beyond tense. 
What was joy for Viserys was misery for everyone else.
Watching the king decay at the table and the rest of them squabble over trivial matters that seemed of great importance.
"A toast to the young princes and their betrothed."
Aegon leaned over to his nephew Jace, "Well done, Jace. You'll finally get to lie with a woman."
A glare was sent his way by Jace and Baela.
Y/n caught on and quickly looked to Aemond, who sipped his wine with no reaction.
"You do know how the act is done, I assume?" Aegon continued. "At least, in principle. Where to put your cock and all that?"
Jace's jaw clenched, "You can play the jester if you wish, but hold your tongue before my betrothed."
"Aegon." Y/n hissed through her teeth across the table.
His head immediately snapped to his sister in annoyance, "What?"
"Let it alone."
He scoffed lightly, "What do you mean? I'm only asking." He gained a grin, "It's not like I have to ask Lord Stark that. Look at the state of you!" He gestured to her swollen belly.
Cregan's grip on his fork tightened, turning his knuckles white. 
She placed a hand over her stomach and grimaced, "At least I was able to find a husband that wanted me. Mother had to force you to marry the only girl around, and that was Helaena."
Aegon gave an incredible glare, one that his sibling shot back.
Aemond became amused.
"Let us not fight at the table," Alicent reprimanded lightly.
Y/n looked to Jace, who gave a small nod of gratitude.
Silence filled the room until the King's long monologue of the need for peace in the house. 
Rhaenyra and Alicent gave small and seemingly back-handed toasts but Y/n was too set on the continuous mischievous look in her brother's eye.
And she called it right when he stood and moved to whisper in Baela's ear.
It was clear that it was muttered with the intention of riling up Jace, which it did quite well.
He stood up in anger, slamming his fist on the table.
Cregan, who had remained entirely silent thus far, instinctually moved a hand across his wife as if shielding her and the child.
The tense toasts only got worse from there.
Luckily, the music seemed to drown out the intensity, as well as Jace's good gesture of faith in dancing with Helaena. 
Y/n leaned over to Aemond, "Brother."
His brow raised as his eye traveled to look at her.
"It has been… long since I've seen you. I see you've faired quite well."
He hummed lightly, "I see you've… managed."
She could feel Cregan's intense gaze from behind her, "Wh…what do you mean?"
Aemond smirked and leaned in to where only the two Starks could hear him, "Inpregnanted by a brute-"
Cregan's jaw clenched so hard he feared for his teeth. His voice was a hushed whisper, but still held furiously to it, "Watch your words."
Y/n held Cregan's shoulder, "Let us not do this here."
Aemond smirked with Cregan sighed and leaned back in his chair.
When Viserys was escorted from the room due to his pain, Y/n decided to leave as well, and Cregan behind her.
They claimed a pregnancy illness and Rhaenyra smirked, knowing she'd used the same card many times.
Cregan helped her into bed, "I don't understand their need to crawl under everyone's skin like beetles."
She sighed, "They've never known life outside of a castle, Cregan. They've never been told no, and they never will. It's best to let it go."
"They mock us both. My name has been through dirt, blood, and tears, and I do not care, but yours?" He scoffed, "I will not stand by the next time you are mocked."
"It is only for a little while longer," she rebutted.
"Know that I do this for you, and only you, my love."
She smiled, "That's all I ask."
"The north has done a number on you, really," Aegon said as he appeared at her side.
She tilted her head, "I don't know what you mean."
He shrugged, "You're…" he then gestured his arms widely. "I dunno… well indulged?"
She pushed down the tears that welled up in her eyes, "Why do you care?"
He scoffed and leaned in towards her, "You know how many friends of mine asked for whores that looked like you? Many."
"And?"
"And?" He asked mockingly. "And? Who wants to fuck a whore that looks like you now?"
Her jaw went slack for a moment, completely shocked by his words. 
Finally, with now watery eyes, she spoke. "You're the worst kind of man, Aegon."
"Oh? And what kind is that?"
A sudden punch came from nowhere, landing on Aegon's jaw and sending him to the ground. 
Cregan stood over the man's body, a predatory look in his eyes and a murderous tone in his voice, "One that can't defend his fucking words."
Y/n pulled Cregan back, "Stop!"
He wanted to fight against her, but he knew better. His shoulders rolled back and he stood tall. 
She cursed under her breath as she took in exactly what had unfolded, "They could have your head for this, Cregan."
"Only if your brother wishes to defend his words against me again," Cregan scoffs as he looks down at the man.
Aegon sits up and huffs, wiping his nose that begins to leak blood. "Northern brute-"
"-Aegon!" She reprimands. 
Cregan glared at Aegon for a while, then scoffed and walked off a few steps to calm himself.
Aegon stands on shaky legs as he glares at his sister, "I liked you better when you lacked a guard dog."
Cregan immediately turned back to the man with a look that said he was ready to murder him. As he stepped forward, Aegon stepped back as he began to regret his words.
"Take me to our chambers, Cregan," she lightly pleaded. 
The wolf of the north only stared for a while before nodding, "Lead the way."
She sighed as she gave a final look to her brother. "Clean yourself up. You look like shit."
Standing behind Rhaenyra, Y/n and Cregan whispered idly to Daemon when someone would comment something out of hand. 
Luke's legitimacy was coming into question, and though the Starks knew the truth, they would not dare pry the inheritance from the boy's hands. That was not their place. So next to Daemon they stood as petitions were made to and against him.
Daemon leaned in to speak to Y/n, "how far along did you say you were?"
"Eight moons now," she whispered back.
Daemon let out a surprised grunt. "You're to have the child here then? That seems unlike you."
"Uncle, my father insisted I come, and I have. Whether the child is born in the North or the South, it is a Targaryen and Stark all the same."
He smiled lightly, "I suppose you're right. If you wish for someone to accompany Lord Stark to the dragon pit to choose a proper egg for the child, only say the word."
Cregan, who had been listening quietly, now leaned in, "I am to choose an egg?"
"It is tradition," she explained. "It can be before, during, or after the birth, but the father chooses the egg. If… If you would wish to continue that tradition."
He grinned, "I'd be delighted to try."
When Vaemond Valaryon stepped up forward to speak his mind, the Starks quieted. 
He spoke in anger, trying to take Luke's right. 
Y/n looked past him to her mother and siblings. 
Aegon looked like he'd rather be doing anything else. He didn't care the outcome of this ordeal. Aemond watched intensely with his one eye, taking in every detail. And Helaena… sweet Helaena. 
She needed to visit her and the children soon.
"And her children are…" Vaemond paused.
The room stilled.
"Say it," Daemon whispered under his breath.
"Her children are BASTARDS!" He screamed.
Y/n jumped back in surprise as Cregan's steady hands caught her waist.
"And she. Is. a. Whore." Vaemond finished.
The air in the room stilled and became stuffy as the tension reached an all time high.
Viserys stood on unstable legs as he unsheathed his dagger, "I will have… your tongue for this."
A sudden slice moved through the air, and half of Vaemond's head was gone.
Blood splattered across the ones' nearest, meaning the Starks. Cregan let out an annoyed grunt.
"He can keep his tongue," Daemon said proudly as he lowered his sword.
Y/n rested a hand over her swollen stomach with a shaky hand, trying to ignore the blood that began to seep into her clothes. 
Cregan leaned down to whisper in her ear, "Are you alright?"
"I… I want to go," she shuddered back.
He nodded, looking around as the crowd began to whisper amongst themselves. He held a hand firmly against her back as she became to let out an uncomfortable whine.
"Cregan, please," she whispered.
"Alright. Alright, let's go, my love," he said as he tried to move her through the crowd.
But her legs faltered as she let out a pained noise.
He caught her in panic, "Are you in pain?"
"The babe…"
No longer caring for proper manners, Cregan stood tall and looked over the crowd. "MOVE!" He yelled out.
The people quieted and moved as Cregan helped his wife through the room and out of the doors.
Alicent only saw a brief glimpse of her daughter's silver hair go through the doors, and she was on edge. She ran through the crowd to follow behind them.
He held onto his wife's arm with one hand and held her waist with the other, trying to support her as they moved to their chambers.
Y/n let out a gasp, and her water broke.
Alicent caught up to them and grabbed her daughter's other arm. "It's alright. You're alright." She turned to a servant and ordered him to get the maester. 
Sweat began to break out of the poor woman's forehead as the weight of what is happening began to settle. 
Once on her bed, Cregan refused to move from her side, Alicent as well. Alicent rubbed soothingly across her daughter's forehead as Cregan paced at the foot of the bed.
The maester and midwives came quickly, immediately moving to the woman in labor.
"My lord, it is best if you remain outside," one of them said.
Cregan's brows furrowed in confusion. "Out… Outside?"
Alicent chipped in, "It is tradition. The husband waits outside of the doors."
He stared at Y/n in thought. Tradition. How that word weighed on them like boulders. 
"Alright."
He tried to ignore the sounds of her cries as he stood in the corridor. 
Nothing could ease his worries. 
In the North, it was not uncommon to be by their wife's side. 
This was unusual to him.
"My lord," a midwife questioned as she poked her head from the room.
His eyes widened, "Is she alright?"
"The child is… having trouble, my lord."
That was Cregan's greatest fear. The maester in Winterfell had spent endless hours with Cregan to determine a plan for if such a thing were to occur. Now he was without a plan entirely.
"Alright?" He finally breathed.
"What do you wish for us to do?"
"What options do I have?" He spoke barely above a whisper.
The midwife gave him an empathetic look. "We can cut the child out-"
"-No." He was quick with his answer, the very thought of taking a blade to her seeming the greatest sin he could commit.
"Um… it will be painful, but we can help her force the child out."
"Is that safe for her?"
The midwife shrugged lightly, "More than any other option I can give you."
He nodded.
She gave a weak smile and moved back into the room, but Cregan caught the door before it closed and forced his way in.
At the sight of his wife, he felt as if a blade went into his own stomach.
She was crying in pain, the midwives forcing her hips down as she tried to move away from the pain, as if that was possible.
At the sight of him, her entire face relaxed, "Cregan…"
He moved to her side, "I'm here. How can I help?"
Alicent glared slightly at him. 
"They won't… I can't…" Y/n whimpered out.
"They won't what?" He looked up to Alicent, "What are they doing?"
"She wishes to get up. We cannot have her standing," she explained.
Cregan was thrown off by that. "She cannot? W… Why ever not?" When in labor with him, Cregan's mother was said to have walked the length of Winterfell 3x over. 
"It hurts… please, Cregan…" 
He nodded as his expression hardened. "Let her stand."
The maester shook his head, "She is nearing the labor. She should not-"
"-She wishes to stand. She will stand."
Alicent spoke up. "Lord Stark-"
"-This is my wife and child. If she wishes to walk, then she will," he barked. 
A fire lit behind the queen's eyes. "She will not."
The midwives watched the tension grow.
Finally, Cregan calmly reached down and began to help his wife sit up.
Alicent cursed under her breath and grabbed Cregan's wrist in an effort to stop him.
Cregan's eyes slowly moved up to Alicent's face as anger began to overcome him. 
But she was first to speak. "You are no longer in the North. You abide by our traditions when you are here."
He'd heard enough of that word for a lifetime. 
His words came out sharper than he intended, but he cared little to soften them. "Your family is made of vipers and cutthroats. When I take my wife and child back to Winterfell, it will truly be a miracle if you ever see them again, for I will not let her sit and be neglected and tormented. I am a brute, but I am not without heart. Now, Let. Go."
Alicent reluctantly let go.
Cregan helped Y/n sit, and she immediately felt relief. "I want to walk," she panted.
He nodded, practically holding her up as she stood. "We will walk the corridor and return." His voice had no room for argument.
Once they paced the corridor a few times, she was returned to the bed, only to find that Alicent had left. Cregan only cared about it when he noticed the tinge of sadness that moved over his laboring wife.
But he was quick to fill the gap. As she moved back to the bed, Cregan sat behind her and held her against his chest, messaging anywhere that began to ache.
The labor came soon after that. Cregan held her close as she screamed in pain and gripped his wrists. She surely left bruises.
"The babe is crowning, princess," the midwife exclaimed. "Keep pushing."
The pain came in waves that made her see white. 
Cregan began to panic when the midwives gave one another a look. "What?"
"She is not pushing hard enough."
Y/n began to cry in frustration.
"She is pushing," Cregan sighed. "What else is there to do?"
One of them reached up and began to push on her stomach, prompting the princess to cry harder as the pain multiplied. 
"Allow me," Cregan shifted her in his hold and carefully placed his hands where the midwife had, slowly applying pressure to the same place.
As Y/n screamed and cried, Cregan placed assuring kisses against her neck and cheek and whispered calming words to her. "You're doing well."
If the pain had not been so bad, she may have blushed.
Cregan held the baby close to his chest as his wife slept.
"My lord," a servant finally entered and interrupted the silence. "The queen has requested to see the child."
An annoyed feeling washed over the man. Of course, she wished to. 
The servant took note of his changed demeanor, "I can take-"
"-No," he countered. "I will go myself. Should my wife awaken in my absence, give her anything she desires."
His heavy feet stormed from the room and he walked to the queen's chambers.
Alicent turned and shock overcame her. "Lord Stark. I did not expect you to-"
"-Neither did I."
The two stared at one another for a moment before Alicent's eyes wandered to the bundle in the large lord's arms. "Healthy?"
"The very picture."
She nodded, unsure of what to say next.
"A boy," Cregan stated.
"A boy?" Alicent whispered. Any thoughts of annoyance were past to her, and she walked to the lord and eagerly looked at the child.
The baby was indeed the picture of health. Bright purple eyes looked up at the two. Dark hair sat atop his head.
"He's quite northern," she stated.
"Indeed." Cregan was sure she meant it as an insult, but he could care less. The thought of such a gift as a northern boy filled him with pride. 
"Congratulations, Lord Stark."
He nodded. "Your daughter is fine as well."
Alicent moved away from Cregan and sat down. "That is a blessing. To all of us. She will be a perfect mother."
"Aye, she will."
The tension between the two was evident, but they wouldn't let it dull the excitement of the newest addition to the line.
"I should return to my wife."
"Please, do."
Cregan moved to the door.
"Lord Stark?" She asked.
"Yes?"
Alicent stared at him and then the babe. "Thank you. For caring for her. And now him. You are a better man than most."
Cregan sighed. It wasn't a compliment, but it was something. "Thank you, my queen. She will want for nothing until my dying breath."
"This is all I wished for her."
......................................................
Taglist: @twinkletwinklenotastar, @kidd3ath,@yujyujj, @misswynters, @cosmosnkaz, @sithapprentice, @kaniromi, @lovemesomevesey, @its-jackie-bb, @8812-342, @thorins-queen-of-erebor, @kingdomzeldaquest @nyxbranwenn, @callsignwidow, @a1lexh-blog, @alyssa-dayne, @ethereal-athalia, @ashovertheriver
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iamnotlookingidonotseeit · 1 year ago
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sometimes the notes app ain't it, u have to do vent posts where no one will see it
#im just upset feeling like chopped liver bc no one cares about MY shit#but then feeling bad about feeling upset because i can be kind of a cold bitch and i care about THEIR shit but maybe they dont know it#or its not enough or something#it's just the last few times ive needed help or sympathy i havent gotten it#i never used to ask and now when im trying to speak up no one listens. and so i kinda just wonder is it me or them#do i not know how to ask right or was i really justified in not asking out of fear i would find out there wouldn't be help for me?#lets therapy it up i feel: lonely. snubbed. unwanted. hurt. angry. ashamed. like im underwhelming to everyone and unwanted even when i try#when i try to do the things that people say they want in a friend and not the things people say are offputting. am i just that unlikable?#well from a vent post im not doing myself any credits#but. i am trying. so it hurts to fail; which was the whole point of withdrawing and avoiding failure this whole time#thinking about my boss saying 'i was stressed watching you but i never have to be worried you won't succeed on your own'#or my dad dismissing my asking him to drive to me during the worst week ever because I'm physically capable of doing it myself#even though he's done it for my sister multiple times just bc she asked#about being ignored by half my family last weekend when i was barely skirting having a panic attack#about my qpp shutting me down when i wanted to vent about that. i know they have their own problems but still#about soothing my sister's meltdown the next day AND cleaning her kitchen for company AND cooking dinner for said company#with hardly an acknowledgement#about always being the fifth wheel at immediate family stuff these days when my immediate family has always been so important to me#I'm so sick of keeping my secrets and setting aside my own needs and getting quieter and more distant until i just break away unnoticed(?)#i dont want to do that anymore and I'm trying to speak up and Be A Goddamn Person who embarrassingly has human needs#but how on earth am i managing to do it wrong
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rafeandonlyrafe · 1 month ago
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gold ring
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words: 1.3k
warnings: brief suspicion of cheating, established relationship, soft!rafe, proposal, fluffy
“rafe!” you groan out, tired of hearing his phone constantly dinging for the past ten minutes. 
when rafe doesn't answer, you slap your laptop closed, frown on your face as you head up the stairs, muttering to yourself about him interrupting your work that he KNOWS is important.
“rafe!” you shout, entering his bedroom. you can finally hear the spray of the shower, explaining why he was letting his phone go off.
you grab it from his bedside table, yanking the charger free as you go to silence it, but upon trying to stop the dinging, you skim over the notifications.
you don't believe it at first. it must be some kind of mistake, you're sure.
you click on the name of rafes ex girlfriend, opening up the text message thread.
rafe: when can we meet?
ex: whenever works for you 🥺
ex: i miss you a lot btw
ex: this friday at 6pm? we can meet at the country club like we always used to. maybe get dinner? can't wait to see you xxx
you frown at the messages, quickly locking the phone and setting it down when you hear the shower turn off.
rafe steps out with just a towel wrapped around his waist.
“hey princess.” he smiles. “how's the essay going?”
“fine.” your tone is cold, surprising rafe. “your phone was ringing so i silenced it.”
you walk out of the room without another word, needing to return to your homework, but when you sit back down at what has become your desk, you can't concentrate on the words on the screen, your anger bubbling over.
you want to confront rafe, but you need time to breathe otherwise the entire conversation will be unintelligible as you simply sob.
you head upstairs, grabbing your backpack and slinging it over your shoulder as rafe emerges from the closet, fully dressed.
“where you going babe? got study group?” he questions, glancing at the clock on the wall, realizing there's no way study group would be meeting this late.
“going home.” you mumble, making sure everything you usually leave at rafes is stuffed in your bag.
“you are home?” rafe questions, his expression turning sad when he sees you're not joking.
“no, im not rafe.” you sigh. “i want to sleep in my own bed tonight.”
truth is, you've practically moved into tanneyhill since you started dating rafe, but technically you still live at your parents house, only a few doors down from rafes.
“is everything alright?” rafe asks, trying to reach out for you. “what did i do wrong?”
you can't help it anymore, his obvious disrespect for your relationship, something you put years of work into only for him to go back to his ex girlfriend.
“how about you ask your ex?” you question, tears streaming down your cheeks.
“my ex? what are you talking about?” rafe asks, again trying to hold you by your shoulders, but you take a step back before his palms can land on you.
rafe: ive asked you a million times to give that ring back. you never should have taken it in the first place. it was my grandmother's and now it belongs to y/n, not you.
“i saw your texts, rafe. when can we meet? are you fucking kidding me!?” you shout the last sentence.
“baby, wait.” he says softly, grabbing his phone. he opens up the messages, scrolling up so you can see the full context.
ex: i don't know where it is 
rafe: bullshit. give it back or ill call the cops
ex: fine. 
rafe: when can we meet?
“see, baby?” rafe places a soft hand on your shoulder. “i was just trying to get my shit back. i have no interest in my ex at all. i love you.”
“oh, rafe!” you coo out, throwing your arms around his shoulders. “im so sorry i doubted you.”
“it's okay, id also be pissed if you were texting your ex. i didn't tell you just because i wanted to keep it a surprise.”
“keep what a surprise?” you furrow your brows together.
“what do you?- ohhh.” rafe finally catches on, letting out a chuckle. “i see what you're doing.”
you giggle, rising to your tiptoes to press a kiss to rafes soft lips. 
“now let's get back to work on that essay, yeah?” rafe says. “i can help you.”
“and what do you know about microbiology that could possibly help me?” you snicker.
rafe rolls his eyes dramatically. “fine, but i can at least be there for moral support.”
--
you've been expecting it for months now, wondering when rafe will pop the question. you know he got the ring back, and while he's taken you on romantic dates and moonlit walks on the beach, you're not sure when he will actually drop to one knee.
“what are you thinking for your nails this week?” your girlfriend asks.
originally, you were doing all white and plain, but recently for summer you've been branching out to bright colors again.
“why, is there a certain color i should get?” you raise your eyebrow at her. 
“well i was gonna get a sparkly white, maybe we could match.” she shrugs. it's no discredit to your friend, but her acting isn't good enough to fool you, and you're sure that rafe asked her to make sure you get something appropriate and properly bridal.
you of course get simple nails that you hope will compliment a silver ring on your finger.
you look at the calendar hanging on the wall, reading through your events for the upcoming week, trying to figure out when rafe may ask the question.
you ultimately give up on trying to figure it out as you head further into the house, calling out for rafe. 
“baby? where are you?” you shout, surprised when you don't get a response. you head up to your bedroom, figuring he must be in the shower, but the bathroom door is wide open when you enter.
you almost miss it, so set on finding rafe, but the dress laying on the edge of the bed ends up catching your attention.
put this on and meet me outside.
you recognize rafes handwriting instantly. you set the paper to the side and look at the dress. its a soft light pink material, nearly white.
you are quick to undress and put on the flowy dress, admiring yourself in the mirror before touching up your hair and makeup next. rafe knows how you like to prepare for big events in your life.
your steps are slow, or at least you attempt to keep them slow, as you want to cherish this moment. your eyes light up with the glow of the backyard, string lights hanging from every tree, and on the edge of the sand, is rafe.
“oh.” you cover your mouth, feeling tears well up in your eyes. this has to be the moment. you run to him, arms wrapping around his shoulders as he spins you.
“baby, i haven’t even asked yet.” rafe chuckles, setting you down.
“and i’m already saying yes.” you giggle, although it’s no secret to rafe what your answer would be.
“still-” rafe places his hands on your hips, stilling you before he drops down onto one knee, pulling a box out of his pocket. he flips open the lid to reveal the most stunning ring you’ve ever seen, it’s exactly what you envisioned and somehow so much more.
“you’ve made me happier than i ever thought possible. you fixed all my broken pieces and made me whole again. there’s no one else i’d rather spend forever with.”
rafe looks up at you, tears brimming in his eyes, overwhelmed with the emotion of the moment. “will you marry me?”
“yes!” you squeal, falling to your knees alongside rafe and pressing your lips against his. “yes, yes. a million times yes.”
sfw tags: @winterrrnight @cameronswiftie @ladyinbl00d @ethanthequeefqueen @drewsephrry @wearemadeofstardust0
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augustinewrites · 1 year ago
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“sunflowers or peonies?”
“awe, nanami! i’m flattered—”
“they’re not for you,” nanami says flatly. “you can buy your own.”
shoko squints down at the man lying on her exam table, arm held up and behind his head. “i’m quite literally stitching you back together, you know.”
the blond thinks bitterly on what had landed him in her infirmary in the first place, injured and likely having to reschedule dinner tonight. it’s already well past the time he’d planned on picking you up, and the table he’d reserved at the new restaurant in roppongi has likely been given away.
he’s dreading calling to tell you, his heart already twinging at the idea of letting you down.
shoko stitches him up neatly, cleaning and covering it up with a layer of bandages. she offers him a hand to help him sit up, but he bypasses it to plant his palm against the cot, pushing himself up with a groan.
she rolls her eyes, peeling her gloves off and pulling her mask down, tossing them both into the trash. “clean and dress it at least twice a day. no sudden movements of strenuous activity for at least a week. if you ruin my work, i’ll put you on bedrest.”
she digs through her cabinets as he awkwardly pulls his shirt back on. his mind drifts to you as he does so. he’d lost his phone in the fight, so he hadn’t been able to tell you about cancelling.
he wonders if the pout on your lips is painted your lips that shade of red you’d been wearing when he’d first met you. wonders if you’re waiting wearing the dress he’d gifted you last week.
he’d really wanted to see you in that dress.
nanami sighs heavily as he does up the buttons, prompting shoko to glance over her shoulder at him.
“what’s wrong with you?” she asks, setting a small bottle of painkillers on the tray table next to him.
“i’m missing an important dinner,” he grumbles, wondering if just a bundle sunflowers or peonies from the small stall outside is enough. he should order you a proper bouquet from a shop. perhaps he can also book you a massage or—
a knock at the door interrupts his spiralling.
“oh!” shoko suddenly gasps. she reaches up, brushing a few stray hairs from his forehead and fixing it as best she can.
“what are you doing?” he asks, genuinely confused in this moment.
“you’ll see,” she simply grins, sending him a wink. then, “come in!”
the door to the infirmary opens to reveal…you.
“kento,” you breathe, the quiet click of your heels echoing through the empty room as you quickly walk towards him.
he’s shocked, but lets you carefully wrap your arms around him, cradling his head against your chest.
but before he knows it he’s holding onto you too, breathing in the deep, sweet scent of your perfume and focusing on the steady beat of your heart.
“what are you doing here?” he asks once you finally release him, taking your hands in his.
“shoko called me,” you tell him. “apparently…apparently i’m your emergency contact.”
his face is suddenly hot with embarrassment. he’d honestly forgotten about that. he hadn’t even realized he’d done it when yaga had asked him to update his information with the school. your name had been the first and only name to pop into his mind.
“sorry,” he apologizes quickly, dropping your hands. he jumped the gun, didn’t he? you’ve only been dating for six months… “i should have asked you first but—”
but no one knows me better than you.
a soft sigh slips from your lips as you sit next to him, with a gaze so reverent that it strips him to the bone. “i love you, kento. i will be your emergency contact as long as you want me to be.”
he whispers the words back to you, suddenly shy.
sometimes nanami lets himself slip a little too far into his own head, overthinking and a little insecure. but you’re always there, ready to coax him back into the light.
“you look beautiful,” he murmurs, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. he’s seen you in a lot of dresses, each one making him weak in the knees. but this dress…this one makes it a little hard for him to breathe.
“well, you still owe me a date,” you tell him, helping him up off the cot. “we could go to the ramen place across from my apartment.”
he wraps an arm around your shoulders, and you reach up to intertwine your fingers with his. “i’d go anywhere with you.”
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lymtw · 6 months ago
Text
Thinking of an argument with Toji that leaves you mute by choice towards him. He still talks to you and asks you questions, and while you don't turn away from him, you don't respond to him either. He ends up having to figure out whatever he needs on his own because after a minute or so you huff and walk away from the conversation.
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"Mama," he calls from the bedroom, rummaging through his clothing drawers. "Have you seen my gym shorts?"
If he was able to get a word out of you, he would know that you washed them for him. Though you were still sizzling with anger towards him, you pulled them out of the dryer and walked them over to the room. He could hear your little footsteps as you approached the room, and when he turned to look at you, he noticed you were holding his shorts in your hand.
Your eyes were vacant towards him. You didn't want them to be because it sucks when you can't look at him with the endless amount of love you have in store for him. It's still there, but it's being masked by a poker face.
You toss the shorts onto the bed and leave. Toji sighs, irked by the fact that it's actually starting to sting now. Your disregard for him because you're ruled by your emotions and he lets things go too easily because he can't hold a grudge towards you, even if he feels you're in the wrong.
Toji never knew how much he depended on your voice until you wouldn't let him hear it. He depends on you to tell him where things are because without you they would be scattered all over the place. He doesn't know your method of organization, but somehow when he needs something and looks to you in order to find it, you pull it out from right under his nose. He depends on you to tell him he's doing a good job, and to tell him you love him, and just reassure him in general. It makes him feel good to know that someone thinks he's good enough, but recently the one person who feeds him affection like it's as important as food and water, has left him to starve. You haven't said a word to him in almost two days, and he feels like he's starting to go crazy. The sound of his own voice is driving him insane. It's gotten so bad that he had to make a mental note of how he's going to get you back that same night.
Toji leaves for the gym and texts you during his time there. He includes some images because it's now an unspoken rule that he always has to send you gym pics.
[ Attachment: 3 Images]
... 😳🤐
Yeah, I know you like those. I'll be home soon.
You take the time to doll yourself up while he's still out. It's for him, but you won't tell him that until you come back from your "night out". Really, you're just gonna go get dinner for both of you from his favorite little restaurant. You just want to see how far he's willing to let this go, because you're caving. You're ready to apologize even when you know he's not upset at all. You're ready to spoil him in order to make up for those severe feelings you held towards him. You're ready to hear about how stubborn and unbelievable you are for this little act you pulled.
You spray on some perfume and walk out of the bathroom, just in time to catch Toji walking through the door.
"Woof, where're you going, ma?" He asks, setting down his gym bag before absorbing everything you were gracing him with. His eyes flit up and down your body, lingering on the very bare skin of the legs that come out from under your skirt. He can smell your perfume from where he stands, its elegant scent masking even the smell of his own potent sweat.
You didn't answer his question, and left him to wonder why you're all dressed up at seven o'clock at night. Was it a girl's night or were you openly showing him that you have options? Did he miss a message or a call from you?
You grabbed your wallet and scooted past him. You walked halfway down the corridor of your apartment building before realizing that maybe this was a bit much. You would make him worry over you going on a five minute walk to grab some food? All so you can show him you're mad? You cracked.
🥟🥡🍜.
Toji was staring at his screen, waiting for anything from you. The screen flashes like some sort of miracle and your message is seen by him. He chuckles, feeling a sense of relief wash over him at the sight of your little emoticons.
You came back home as fast as possible, bags of food in hand as you patiently waited for the elevator to bring you up to your floor. You took your time walking through the corridor, this time, not knowing how you would react once you saw Toji or if you would immediately say something to him. You're ready to talk to him, you want to talk to him. You miss him, you love him, and you hate the passiveness you threw yourself into around him as an act of retaliation.
There you were, standing in front of the door, nervous beyond belief for what was behind it. You collected yourself and twisted the doorknob, ready to face anything that came to you.
Toji stood from the couch and walked over to you to take the bags from your hands. The smell of his body wash wafted into your nose. There was an imaginary white flag hanging out of your pocket, and it was about to fall out to signal your surrender to Toji.
He pecks your cheek and watches in real time as color floods into your face. It's one of the most adorable things he's ever seen—you standing there so rigidly afterwards. He gives you a soft smile and resists the urge to coo at you for being so cute. Instead, he heads to the table to put the bags of food down.
You shut the door, and within a split second, Toji was in front of you again. "Ma," he says, sounding a little more desperate than he thought he would. "Say something." You stand there like a statue—unmoving, but unlike a statue, you are easily moveable. Especially, by Toji. "Anything, mama, please." He crouches down at your feet, his warm hands resting on the backs of your knees and his cheek resting on one of your thighs. This position made it look like you were being worshipped by him, and anyone who ever saw him do this would know that it was true, because he worshipped everything about you. From the top of your head, to the ground your feet stood on.
"Don't you miss having my hands on you?" They glide up and down the backs of your thighs. He looks up at your stunned expression. You won't look down at him, so he gets to see the way you swallow the words dying to leave your mouth, and the slight widening of your eyes as he lets his hands roam your lower body. "I know I do. I've been in hell these past couple days." He presses a soft kiss to your knee, then one more on your thigh. "I didn't mean what I said. I don't think you're selfish, baby. Maybe i'm just a greedy asshole," he says, rekindling the subject of what led to your silence towards him. His hand maneuvers around your leg so that his palm is on your thigh, making its way up towards the inner part of it. "But, I know something," his lips trail further up your thigh, softly kissing your skin. "I'm greedy about you. That can't and won't be changed, even when we argue like idiots."
You put your hand on his head as he starts kissing up your inner thighs, making his way even further up beneath your skirt.
"Come on, my sweet girl," he murmurs, his lips meeting the front of your underwear. "Tell me you want me to stop. Tell me you hate that my filthy paws are on you, right now."
Your legs tremble at the lightness of his touch, and you internally cringe at how sensitive you've always been for him.
"Toji..." you gasp. You feel his warm tongue flatten between your legs, a slow upwards drag of the muscle makes your thighs quiver before him. You whimper at the damp warmth his saliva leaves on your panties. "Fuck..." you moan, breathily. "Don't stop. Stay there, please."
The first word you reintroduced yourself with being a moaned out rendition of his name was heaven reaching down to pat him on the back for knowing exactly what to do to get you to talk again.
"Open wider for me, baby. Let me see," Toji says, your skirt still veiled over his head. You take a step back so that your back is against the door and widen your stance a little more. He hooks one of your legs over his shoulder and you shudder when his tongue returns to slide through your clothed folds. He doesn't even need to produce that much saliva to drench the fabric of your underwear because you've done that for him already with your leaking arousal.
You shut your eyes and rest your head against the door as Toji continues his act of filth between your thighs. You can hear him panting below you, your taste pleasantly coating his tongue every time he sucks on the garment that clings to you.
You cry out his name with sharp breaths following, your fingers tangling into his locks, gripping and tugging as his lips catch onto your cunt. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," you grit out, whimpering at the contrast between his mouth and his hands. His hands offer a gentle massage to your thighs, softly kneading the plush between his fingers. His mouth moves purposefully because he knows exactly what it takes to make you fall apart with it. He coats his tongue with your essence every time he laps at the wet patch on your underwear, sticky webs of arousal connecting him to you.
"T-Toji!" You squeal, your cunt throbbing with every brush of his tongue. "I'm gonna cum... Fuck, i'm gonna cum..." you whine.
Toji pushes your underwear to the side, and glides his tongue through your generously slicked folds once and you're instantly arching your back off the door, squirming in his hold and moaning carelessly as he sloppily makes out with your cunt. He desperately chases the sound of your pleasure-ridden voice, wanting to hear the way it raises in pitch when he strokes you just right. He doesn't want it to stop, it's been too long. Two days way too long. You tug at his hair with one hand, dragging the nails of your other hand down the door. You breathe heavily as Toji manipulates your pleasure until your thighs are trembling.
Toji pulls away and lifts your skirt off his head. He lowers your leg back down and stands up from his crouched position. He faces you with glossy lips that shine with all the juices he collected from you, some of it drooling down his chin to give him an even more messy appearance. He presses his lips to yours, making slow movements to allow you to realize what is happening while your eyes are closed. You can taste yourself on his lips as you catch the rhythm.
There's a loud smack in the last kiss before he releases you, a feral look in his green eyes as he dotes on your blissed out appearance. You look too pure for someone who's just experienced something so sinful. "Hey, look at me," he coos, cupping your cheeks in his hands. "Look at me," he repeats, staring at you as you try to catch your breath with closed eyes.
You hum, rolling your eyes open to lazily stare back at him. Your eyelids felt so heavy as you looked at him, but you liked how vigilant he was being. It made you crack a grin, a small gesture that had Toji's heart thudding a little quicker, now.
"I wanna fuck you so bad, mama." His eyes trail yours as they look away from his gaze. "If this is your reaction to my mouth, I don't even know what to expect for when I'm inside you."
You look down to see what's been poking your thigh for the past minute or so, and it's the monster in his pants, outlined for your eyes to quickly spot and everything.
"Come on," you say, reaching your hand out to him. He takes it and allows you to lead him to the bedroom.
Toji shuts the door and locks it to give the situation a deeper level of intimacy. There's no one there but the two of you and yet you feel even more secluded by the gesture.
He wasn't aggressive in the way he bared you for his eyes. He pulled you close to him by the waist, your body against his as he peeled your layers of clothes off.
"Stay," he says, when you take a step back. He takes that step towards you again, placing his hands on your hips, and snaking them around to your back to locate the zipper for your skirt. He exhales through his nose, lidded eyes watching the longing expression on your face closely as he pulls down the zipper and allows the article to fall on the floor. His fingers fiddle with the hem of your shirt before he fully slides his hands beneath it, and raises it up your torso higher and higher. You put your arms up and allow him to slip it off your head.
He makes haste of getting his own clothes off, a sly smirk decorating his face when he sees you admiring him from where you sit on the end of the bed as you take off your bra and underwear. You're forced further up the bed by Toji as he inches closer and closer to you. You reach a dead end and welcome the suffocating warmth of his body as he cages you onto the bed.
"Don't do that to me again, mama," he murmurs, before leaning down to peck your lips. "Don't let me talk to myself for that long when you have such a pretty voice to respond with."
You laugh, pulling a small grin from him. "I didn't think you'd care, to be honest. I thought you'd tell me i'm being childish or ridiculous."
"Nah, princess. I thought I was gonna die."
You giggle, pulling him close again. "You're exaggerating."
"You wouldn't let me touch you. Not even when we went to bed, so it was like we were friends instead of lovers sleeping together. Especially with how far on your side you slept."
"Oh, baby," you coo, pressing multiple quick apologetic kisses to his lips. He chuckles at the affection, and his eyes close instinctively as your kisses become more widespread on his face. He missed this more than anything. "What can I do for your forgiveness, my love?"
"Just let me fuck you, ma. That's all. Give me my privilege to all of this, again." His hand slowly trails from your chest to your stomach, a touch you longed for dearly during those two days that you verbally ignored him.
"It's yours," you whisper to him. You peer up at him with your constellation eyes, silently begging him to realize how much you need him. "I'm yours, so show me the use you have for the privilege over my body, baby."
He leans down to kiss you, softly. He's desperate for you, but his lips don't falter their delicate synchrony because of it. He guides the tip of his cock through your folds, rubbing up and down the slickness a couple times before slowly sinking into you. Your ability to tangle with Toji's lips slowly deteriorates, and your focus strays to the stretching happening lower down your body, so Toji picks up the slack and feeds you his kisses.
"Come on," he groans out. Not even he is immune to the rebirth of sex with you. You're warm and inviting, and you embrace the pain and comfort he offers every time he craves you or you crave him. This time is no exception. "Kiss me back, sweetheart. Give them all to me," he mutters, before attempting to connect his lips to yours again. You dig your heels into the mattress and your toes curl as you feel his girth continue to submerge inside you.
Toji cups your chin and uses his fingers to squish your cheeks together into a makeshift pout for him to kiss. He can hear your hummed little whimpers in response to him sheathing himself further into you. He was being gentle, because hurting you is a crime in his world.
"Fuck, I missed this, mama," he says, goosebumps rising on his torso as he drags himself out of you halfway and pushes himself back in again. "So warm..." he says over the sound of your pleasured moan. He sighs, a grunt following as he starts a careful rocking rhythm into you. "I could stay inside you forever."
"I could keep you here forever," you rephrase, gazing up at him with those eyes he unequivocally loves. They've reverted back to the default loving expression you hold for him, the vacancy of your previous gaze now filled with love, excitement, lust, and overall enchantment. It's a beautiful thing to see your hurricanes subside.
He leans down to kiss you again, distributing the kisses on your face and leading them towards your neck. You could feel his abs dragging up and down your stomach with every roll of his hips against yours.
"Mmm... Toji," you moan, bringing your hands to his back. One of them moves up to the nape of his neck, threading through the dampened locks of his hair, the other traces his spine to distract you from how badly you want to dig your nails into him.
"I know," he coos, kissing the spot beneath your ear. "I know, doll. It's always this good with you."
You gasp at the feeling of his cock prodding the more sensitive area within you. "Right there, right there... Oh..." you moan out, inevitably digging your nails into his shoulder blades while Toji directs his kisses back up your neck and towards your face again so he can see the honest expression on it. You're lost in pleasure, vibrating as another orgasm rushes through you.
"Fuck, mama.. let me-" he groans, outwardly losing it at the overflow of your juices. "Let me see those pretty eyes," he pants, gripping your waist a little more harshly as he feels his cock on the brink of expelling into you. "Need you to watch me," he says, taking in the way your lips part to release your sounds of utter satisfaction. Your eyes flutter open to center on his greedy eyes. You mirror his lustful, lidded gaze, the look enough to make him spill inside you, making your cunt even sloppier. "You're gorgeous, ma," he says, mindlessly, as he fucks into you with a little more fervor. "Fucking stunning," he mutters through pants, to which you respond with a sly smirk. The gesture lured a groan out of him and made his cock twitch as he finished releasing into you.
You giggle when he stills his hips. Your combined attempts to regulate your breathing fills the silence that follows. "What're you laughing at?" He asks, massaging your hip with his thumb.
"You tell me that all the time like you're obsessed with me or something."
"And if I am?" he says with a voice so deep you have to blink to see that it's still your gentle giant of a man. "Is it too much for you? Can you handle it? Am I suffocating you, baby?" he purrs, cupping your cheeks while leaning in close to emphasize his points. All it does is allow you to closely admire how handsome he is and really think about what's happening in this moment. This green-eyed, raven-haired man, with the prettiest pointed nose and the most attractive scarred lips, is bedding you, and doing it so well.
"Never. Come closer and bite," you murmur.
He takes your lips in his again, a little more aggressive than before. You asked him to bite, and that's exactly what he's doing. The make out has him rocking both of you a little faster, working you towards yet another orgasm. You nip at his bottom lip and run your tongue over it when hisses. You hum out a little giggle, and moan into his mouth when he jolts into you.
"God, i'll bust again if you keep doing that. I'm serious, mama" he groans, swiping his tongue over his stinging bottom lip. You think he's being dramatic so when he leans down to kiss you again, you bite his bottom lip and suck on it. You gasp, releasing his lip and stare at him with wide eyes as his excessive warmth spurts into your cunt, filling it to the brim and beyond, to the point of leakage.
"F-Fuck... you're terrible," he groans, shuddering with tense abdominal muscles as he lures the entirety of his orgasm out. "Cum," he says, panting as he picks up the pace of his rutting to get you to follow his orgasm. "I can feel you clenching around me like hell. I know you want to," he says, reaching a hand between you and him to stimulate your clit.
Your already labored breathing picks up and your heart is pounding in your ears aggressively as you roll your hips back against his. You whimper as you feel your peak get closer and closer, a cried out and breathy "fuck!" leaving you when it arrives, followed by high pitched moans that make Toji's heart race. You arched your back off the mattress as you reached the zenith of your orgasm with the help of Toji's finger rapidly rubbing your clit while he maintained his satisfying pace inside you.
You whimper, slapping a hand onto Toji's wrist to stop his movements on you. He smirks at the sight of your trembling thighs, your heaving chest, and the sound of your dazed hums. You always were such a delicate thing. So fragile that even with just enough of his attention, he could break you.
"Tired yet?" He asks, admiring your relaxed facial features. You nod with your eyes closed, your lips parted to release little puffs of air. "Thought you'd be. I'll go grab some towels for us to shower." He pulls out of you, taking a moment to admire your collaborative masterpiece.
"Baby..." you whine, sitting up when you feel his weight lift off the bed. "I can't get up." You dramatically let yourself fall back on the bed and stick your tongue out to portray your exhaustion.
"Get up, you faker. That's all you have to do and i'll take care of the rest."
"Too tired to wash myself right now..." you say, waking up for a second before closing your eyes again. Toji can see the sly grin on your face and the little shake of your stomach as you stifle your giggles.
"Guess you're too tired to eat, too, huh? You know i've got a huge appetite, and I could eat all that food you brought by myself."
"You wouldn't," you say, abruptly sitting up on the bed and squinting at him. "There's enough to feed three people in those bags."
"I've got the stomach of three people in one, so you better catch up before you're left with my seconds."
You sigh, too tired to move, but you get up anyway and trail behind Toji. "Baby, can you pleeease clean me up? I'm beat."
He puts his hands on your shoulders as he now walks behind you. "Sure, but don't complain when I take longer on certain areas."
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