#implied/referenced rape/non-con tw | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

angellesword · 8 months ago

Text

BAGGAGE | JJK (14)

Summary: Drowning in debt and blood, Jeon Jungkook knows he's better off alone, lest he brings people down with him.

But one drunken night changes everything.

In a blink of an eye, Jungkook found himself drowning not only in debt and blood, but also in dirty diapers and judgmental stares from you, a.k.a his long-lost love and the guardian of the son he didn't even know existed.

Genre and warnings: best friends to lovers, co-parenting, idiots in love, slow burn—really slow burn, mutual pining, angst, fluff, implied smut, kissing, minor character death, slight getting back together, cursing, blood, stabbing, loan sharks, OC cusses excessively so watch out, hurt/comfort, implied/referenced gang rape/non-con, non-graphic rape/non-con, non-consensual drug use, sexual violence, physical violence, vomiting, food poisoning.

Pairing: dad! Jungkook x adoptive mom!Reader

Word Count: 8k

← Previous Chapter (13) | Next Chapter (15) →

⚠️‼️WARNING!!! TRIGGERING SCENES AHEAD. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. PLEASE MIND THE WARNINGS ABOVE!!! ⚠️‼️

*****

Jungkook woke up feeling wet kisses splaying on his face. He begrudgingly opened his eyes, neck stiff because of his unforgivable sleeping position across your bedroom door.

"Mornin' Kookie~,"

"Hmm?" Jungkook blinked. His brain had yet to catch up on what was happening, but his blurry eyes could already make out the tiny figure of his son.

He saw Soobin waving his little hand and smiling down at him.

"Soobin?" Jungkook blinked. Soobin beamed at him in response, prompting Jungkook's sleepiness to be washed away. He unconsciously wrapped his arms around Soobin's body to pull him closer.

"Kookie, hello!"

Jungkook winced when his son embraced his neck and tried to climb over his shoulders. It's true that children had the energy of Olympians. Jungkook wasn't able to protest when Soobin decisively climbed his shoulder, using it as a foundation to reach for the doorknob.

Soobin didn't hesitate. With a twist, the door flew open.

Shit.

Jungkook was caught off guard. He was leaning on the closed door, so he and Soobin fell sideways when it opened. Thankfully, he immediately caught his son and protected his head from colliding on the tiled floor.

Jungkook breathed a sigh of relief. That was close. Hell would break loose if you saw even a small bruise on Soobin's skin.

"What's wrong with you two?" Your voice sent shivers down Jungkook's spine. Speak of the person, and they shall appear. His decelerating heartbeat spiked up again at the sound of your pissed-off voice.

Jungkook was forced to flick his gaze on you. He was surprised to see you on the ground.

You appeared to just have been woken up, too. You scratched the back of your head and yawned.

"Did you sleep on the floor near the door?" Jungkook couldn't help but ask. He sat up and helped Soobin get on his feet, wanting to check if his son got injured. But before Jungkook could do so, Soobin was already jumping into your arms.

"Ma!" Soobin pulled at your neck, visibly making you cringe. It solidified Jungkook's conjecture that you also dozed off on the floor.

However, you vehemently denied it.

"Soobin, no hugging for now. Your Mama got a stiff neck from sleeping against the door."

"I did not sleep here!" You growled at Jungkook as you fought a yawn. This was in contrast to how softly you whispered to Soobin to lay low with the hugs.

Jungkook dramatically gasped, acting all scandalized. "It's not good to lie in front of your kid, you know~."

For some reason, Jungkook was in a good mood. You, sleeping on the floor and against the door, hinted that you weren’t as unaffected by what had happened a few hours before. You probably listened to Jungkook's speech with your ears against the door.

Perhaps you went as far as almost opening the door for Jungkook—this was dangerous wishful thinking, though. Jungkook had to force himself to shake the thought away. There was another way to see if you intended to allow him to stay.

Call him selfish, but Jungkook wanted to test that theory. He licked his lower lips, eyes ogling at you, who was unconsciously mumbling that your neck only hurt because you cracked it the wrong way.

"I know how to relieve stiffed necks." Jungkook started before trailing off. He couldn't stop himself from staring at your neck.

Jungkook forced himself to clear his throat.

"Do you want me to massage your neck?"

The thought of physical contact would make you recoil if you were disgusted by an ex-convict. Jungkook's hands were clammy. It was his idea to test the waters with you, but it didn't mean he wasn't nervous. He had only developed the habit of smiling, joking, and thinking about sexual stuff when things were making him anxious. It was his coping mechanism.

A few seconds had passed now. Jungkook was half expecting you to reject him, already content with the thought of feeling your neck pulse.

At least you were alive, Jungkook thought. You were alive and near him. This should beenough. You also hadn't explicitly told him to go, so he could—

"Alright."

Jungkook's train of thought paused at that. He didn't know if he ever whipped his head so fast it felt like it almost snapped.

He didn't care. Jungkook had to look at you and confirm if he heard you right:

He did.

"You can massage my neck later." You carried your son and stood up. You unconsciously purred when Soobin kissed your cheeks and requested omurice for breakfast.

You looked pointedly at Jungkook. "You heard your kid. He wants to eat. Chop, chop, Kook."

You didn't wait for a response and just went straight out of the bedroom and to the kitchen.

Jungkook breathed out, suddenly feeling hollow. But in a good way. The anxiousness filling his heart was emptied.

He smiled to himself. Omurice sounded good for breakfast.

***

The neck massage was scheduled another time even though your neck was stiff now. Blame it on your phone, which had been ringing nonstop.

"It's the team." You rolled your eyes, though one could see that you weren’t annoyed. It was more of a fond gesture.

It was lunchtime now. Your breakfast went well. You and Jungkook dropped Soobin off at the daycare. The kid's schedule was packed since it was the school's foundation day. Jungkook didn't want to leave Soobin alone, but the teacher advised that kids Soobin's age should learn how to adjust and be more independent.

You had no choice but to drag Jungkook away from the school premises. You had other things to do, anyway. Your beeping phone was one of your agenda.

"The team's calling to know if you've accepted our job offer."

Jungkook stopped licking his ice cream in a cone, head twisting to look at you to see any sign of mirth.

You were dead serious. You furrowed your brows at Jungkook. "What."

"Nothing," Jungkook bit his ice cream until his teeth ached. "I just thought you've retracted the offer."

"Why would I do that." You frowned and offered Jungkook a tissue. What a disgusting asshole. His hands were covered with melted ice cream.

Jungkook took the tissue to cover the sight of his trembling lips. He wanted to throw the ice cream as he couldn't bear the cold. However, he didn't have the heart to waste food. He was constantly reminded of what he had to endure as kids threw ice cream at him while wearing the clown costume.

Those days felt like a lifetime ago, yet Jungkook was still here. It didn't change the fact that he felt like shit.

"You read the paper I handed you," it wasn't a question. Jungkook knew you knew of his past now. There was no way you would stay still after knowing that the person who babysat your son used to be in prison.

Frankly, even until now, Jungkook was waiting for you to drop the news to him—that he would have to leave sooner or later. You showed mercy earlier, but who's to say you wouldn't change your mind?

"I didn't." You surprised Jungkook by this admission. You squared your shoulders and snatched the ice cream cone from your best friend. You threw it in the trash can. Jungkook was about to protest, but you shushed him.

"You look stupid trying to finish that ice cream. You should have thrown it away if you didn't want it." It was Soobin's dessert in the first place. The kid handed it to Jungkook earlier before you left. Soobin thought his father wouldn't miss him so much if he had ice cream with him. "And wipe your goddamn mouth and shut it, will you? Don't look too surprised that I didn't read the paper. I told you I was shocked and needed time, but you didn't exactly give me time to process shit with your cheesy line last night."

"I'm sorry." Jungkook's cheeks heat up. He dodged your gaze, but it didn't take long for him to look at you again. You were scoffing at him.

"Now you're actin' all shy? I'm telling you now, bastard. If what you said last night was shit, I swear I will fucking—"

"It's true." Jungkook cut you off. "I mean it."

It was only then that Jungkook noticed your frozen body. Your shoulders sagged in relief upon hearing Jungkook's confirmation.

"Good." You held your head high, "Because I'd rather hear the truth from you than that paper. Do you still want to have dinner with me?"

"Lunch." Jungkook looked at the wristwatch you had gifted him. You had time before Soobin got off school. "Let's have lunch. In our usual place."

Jungkook realized he didn't want to bare his heart out in a fancy restaurant where people acted all stiff and fancy. He wanted to be in a safe and familiar environment where he knew there would be no judgment on whatever he did. No one would eavesdrop as everyone was busy in their own world.

It's the ADA. Jungkook hadn't been here in years. Many things had changed, but sadly, the one thing Jungkook hated the most remained.

Natsume--the fortuneteller who sang his prediction, was still in business. Jungkook met Natsume's teasing gaze. He started playing his guitar, ready to piss off the brunet. Luckily, you had come prepared. You immediately pulled Jungkook inside the ADA restaurant.

"I warned you earlier that Natsume still sings. You said you don't mind." You gave Jungkook a warning look. "Don't fight him. We didn't go here for that. You have a responsibility to me."

Jungkook clicked his tongue and wriggled out of your iron grip. He sighed, "Fine."

You chose a table far from the window. You couldn't have Jungkook distracted because of Natsume. Thankfully, Jungkook didn't talk about the fortuneteller anymore. He looked deep in thought. Jungkook wasn't sure where to start. The paper he gave you last night was the summary of his criminal case. Jungkook envisioned you reading that paper and bombarding him with questions.

The thing was, you were feeling generous to him. You didn't immediately go straight to questioning, opting to order food first. You didn't have to ask Jungkook. You knew he liked crab spring rolls. They were perfect with a bottle of soju.

You almost ordered the alcohol but stopped when you remembered Jungkook didn't drink anymore.

"Let's not drink. Soobin is fussy when he smells alcohol." You thanked the server after he placed your order. What you said to Jungkook was an excuse and the truth. Your son would scrunch up his nose whenever he got a whiff of your favorite wine. Jungkook knew of your intention. He smiled nonetheless.

"You're a good mom," Jungkook said sincerely, and with a quick snap, he broke the chopsticks apart to start eating the complimentary edamame. It felt nostalgic to eat this, giving Jungkook the illusion that you two were high school students whose only worry was how to earn money.

Your lives were way more complicated than that now. You could never go back. You had Soobin and other things to consider when making decisions.

You weren’t sure whether to nod or shake your head. You settled with a subtle cough.

"I try to be. It wasn't easy at first..." You trailed off and shook your head. "Anyway, there were lots of challenges. You're doing better than me. Soobin warmed up to you fast."

Soobin liked Jang Min and Lee Sung, though it took him some time to get used to meeting up with them. But with Jungkook, things were different. You wondered if it had something to do with their biological relationship.

Jungkook couldn't use that fully as an excuse. He thanked the server for bringing in their food before answering you. "I told you before, didn't I? I've experienced handling kids."

You briefly remembered that as you felt your neck turning crimson. Jungkook had a phase where he was obsessed with getting you pregnant. You never really got the chance to know where Jungkook's fetish started. It was his cue to tell you how things started.

With a warm meal before you two, Jungkook told you how he messed up his life.

Nine Years Ago, 2014:

The thought of dropping out of university had been on Jungkook's mind for a long time, though he never gave it much thought.

That was until Jimin asked Jungkook to accompany him in social work. Jungkook didn't get it at first. Jimin was his promising senior who talked money as Francis, his business-minded boyfriend, greatly influenced him.

Jimin recently graduated college, but he was still in touch with Jungkook. As his hubae, Jungkook looked up to his Jimin-hyung. The latter usually talked about improving life, and that was all Jungkook wanted.

He longed to give you a life where you wouldn't have to struggle. You could pursue whatever studies you wanted without having to think about money.

Money talked, so Jungkook didn't understand why Jimin wasted his time entertaining illegal immigrants. It was on the outskirts of Incheon. These foreigners lived underground with their families. Jimin and some other kindhearted people visited them to feed them and offer them some minor work to get them through one day's meal.

Jungkook frowned at this. Jimin was just starting a small business. He often asked for help from the immigrants to run his business. Jungkook thought Jimin was better off with other people who were far more competent than these illegal settlers.

Jungkook didn't even want to be here. Jimin urged him, saying that if Jungkook really wanted to be business partners with him, he had to first see the kind of work Jimin was doing.

Jungkook didn't think interacting with these immigrants would convince him, but his perspective changed when a kid clung to his leg.

The kid was very small and obviously malnourished. He didn't seem to understand the danger his body was in. A carefree smile decorated his lips.

"Hyung, thank you." The kid's teeth were black and yellow. In normal circumstances, Jungkook would subtly kick the child or say something to make him go away.

But something in this child's smile softened Jungkook's heart for some reason.

"You and the other hyung there help my mom earn money!" The kid pointed at Jimin, who was busy talking to a woman. Jungkook figured that the woman was probably this kid's mother.

"We haven't eaten in days. I thought we'd have to get beaten up first."

"What?" Jungkook was taken aback. He was sometimes mean, but he didn't go around hurting people. What did this kid mean when he mentioned getting beaten up...?

The kid showed his bruised arms; he didn't have to explain for Jungkook to understand what was happening:

The kids and the people living underground were exploited.

Jungkook clenched his jaw. The memory of younger you working in a bar lit up in his head, making him clench his hands into fists.

The indignation that abruptly clogged his veins was too much to bear, acting like a big block stopping his heart from beating.

His vision doubled. It was too much. These kids had gone through so much at a young age.

Just like you.

"I'm sorry." Jungkook dropped to his knees to look at the kid in the eyes. It was not fair. This kid was still smiling despite life being cruel to him. He didn't understand why the innocent had to suffer when far worse people were walking this planet.

"Why?" The kid caressed Jungkook's hand on his cheek. "You saved us! We want to thank you!"

After the kid said this, the other children went up to hug Jungkook. They kept calling him hyung to offer their thank you. Jungkook couldn't accept their gratitude, knowing that this was Jimin's work.

Their pleasant smile should be directed to Jimin and not him. However, when Jungkook looked at his friend, Jimin stood there, offering him a small smile and encouraging him to appreciate this moment.

Jungkook's heart throbbed painfully in his chest, and when he cast his gaze back at the kids, the pain he felt subsided, and it was quickly replaced with pride.

Jungkook smiled with only one thought in mind: I will make these kids proud.

Present, 2023:

You always knew Jungkook was closed off. He was not the type of person who would share personal experiences like this. When Jungkook told you before that he would drop out of college, you thought he was making a mistake—that he was blinded by money and pride. You never knew Jungkook's catalyst to venturing with Jimin was those kids.

The children made Jungkook want to do better, but it was also them who became his downfall.

Six Years Ago, 2017:

Things had already escalated, so Jungkook was forced to retreat to a corner, his back pressed on a cold wall with no way of stepping back.

He fucked up.

He fucked up so badly with business the same way he fucked up with you when he slept with your Jisoo-unnie.

There was no room for regret after that night. Not when he didn't have time to process things. Jungkook had to rush Jisoo to the hospital when they woke up naked on the couch.

Jisoo couldn't breathe. She was vomiting blood. The doctors said it was anxiety and her sickness acting up. Jisoo was advised not to do strenuous activity. Their tacit agreement to relieve their agony was more harmful than helpful.

Jisoo was in a daze. Looking at her made Jungkook's stomach cramp. The silence was suffocating him, too. Jungkook knew how to butter her up regarding business, but outside you, their pain, and Bighit, Jungkook and Jisoo didn't have much in common.

They were strangers who loved the same person and shared similar problems. What happened last night changed it for the worse.

Jungkook couldn't handle it anymore. He spoke.

"I'm gonna tell her."

The braid of promise from last night was combed just like that. Jisoo slowly turned her head to Jungkook, her eyes dead, and her lips were parted slightly.

Jisoo didn't say anything. She simply cupped her stomach before gently lying in bed. She turned her back to Jungkook, sick of his face already. She got what she wanted.

Jungkook sighed. He stayed in Jisoo-unnie's room for hours until he got the signal from the nurse that Jisoo could go home.

Jisoo didn't want to go home. There was no going back now. Not for Jungkook, though. He had problems he had to face, so he went home.

His home no longer felt safe after what he and Jisoo did. Jungkook couldn't bring himself to sleep, the panic and grief catching up to him every time he closed his eyes.

He avoided you like the plague, thinking that things were better off when he was alone. After all, you wouldn't understand what he was going through.

You hadn't met those immigrant kids. You didn't know what Jungkook and Jimin were fighting for. Most importantly, you didn't know what it felt like to be on top and to suddenly fall from grace.

Jungkook could almost taste it: the venom in your voice when he told you his business with Jimin had failed. He could imagine the ‘I told you so’ look painting your eyes. He could also imagine you telling him he should have just stuck to university.

Jungkook didn't really want to see you. He didn't want to see and hear about yourdisappointment in him.

But Jungkook ended up hearing it—only that with a different reason. Jungkook wasn't expecting you to show up at Bighit’s board meeting. He underestimated your capability to get what you wanted. It never occurred to him that you would buy Ango's share just so you could legally attend the meeting.

It was ridiculous. At that moment, Jungkook thought you had come to rub salt in his wound. Why else would you show up there? There was no reason for you to buy a losing share. Jungkook knew you. You would never bet your money on something risky. You didn't even want to invest in the Bighit in the first place. You only did so to appease Jungkook after your previous fight from before.

When you showed up at the meeting, Jungkook made himself think that you had bad intentions, so he hurt you first. He told you he slept with your Jisoo-unnie just because he didn't want to hear you talk shit about Bighit’s downfall.

He thought his belief was warranted because when things truly started going down, you were nowhere to be found.

It was all good at first. Jungkook thought it was better this way. Because more than anything, and despite Jungkook being fucked in the head for betraying you, Jungkook wanted you safe and worry-free. This was why he and Jisoo sought solace in each other's body. They didn't want to involve you in a mess.

In their own fucked up way, Jungkook and Jisoo loved you.

Jungkook never heard from you again after confessing his betrayal. He tried to reach you, but the case of Bighit was beyond saving. Jungkook, along with Jimin, was facing the consequences:

"When will Mushitaro arrive, Jimin-hyung?" Jungkook's skin felt itchy. The unforgiving cold wall rubbed his body, only proving to him that their current predicament was truly pitiful. He and Jimin were both grown men forced to be cramped into a small jail cell. It smelt rotten here.

Jimin couldn't do anything to appease his friend, though. He scratched his skin and was also getting agitated by the overall atmosphere of the place. "I'm not sure, Jungkook-ssi."

Three hours had passed since the police officers arrested Jimin and Jungkook. They were two different people, but Jimin said they would be having a joint lawyer. Mushitaro, their chosen representative, had yet to arrive after Jimin contacted him earlier. The law enforcers refused to let them call again.

Jungkook was antsy and feeling aggrieved. Though Mushitaro was representing him too, he still had the right to call someone—you. It was unfortunate that the officers were treating him like shit. Jungkook couldn't complain. This wasn't like the last time the police invited them over. They had an arrest warrant now, leaving him and Jimin no choice but to have their hands cuffed. It had been a few days since their last board meeting. Their other board members flew out of the country, but it didn't matter. Almost all of Bighit’s operations were handled by Jungkook and Jimin. They couldn't escape liability even if they wanted to.

This was made clear a few hours later when Mushitaro finally arrived. The lawyer knew what he was doing. Jungkook and Jimin were transferred into a much bigger room, and they were given a cup of cold water to cool down.

Jungkook normally kept his cool. He was a manipulator at best. Surely, he had thought of a way to get out of this mess. Unfortunately, the laws were difficult to circumvent as Bighit’s operation extended to illegal immigrants.

"Piercing the what?" You interrupted Jungkook's storytelling when you didn't understand the legal terms. Jungkook was at the part where he was repeating what Mushitaro had told him years ago.

Jungkook took a bite of his crab spring rolls as he responded to you, "Piercing the corporate veil."

You struggled to listen to him. Jungkook explained that companies usually had limited liability, meaning that their obligations couldn't be passed down to their board directors and stockholders. In short, if the assets of the company reached zero in value but still had some liabilities, the creditors couldn't run after stockholders like him and Jisoo.

However, with the piercing of the corporate veil, the general rule would not apply. Jungkook and Jimin were going to prison.

"The probability of Jimin-hyung and I being convicted at that time was high. That's how piercing the corporate veil works. We are both board members who oversee the operations of Bighit. We can't argue that we don't know what's happening in our company when our signatures are mostly needed in our transactions."

Jimin's boyfriend, Francis Fitzgerald, was also a board member of Bighit. Francis was a certified public accountant, so naturally, he dealt with the company's financial statements. Unbeknownst to Jungkook and the others, Francis used the company's money for his own gain and concealed the fact that the Bighit was incurring debt.

"But why are you affected by it? Isn't it solely that son of a bitch Francis' fault?" You questioned. Jungkook's chest heaved as he repeated to you what Mushitaro had said. This whole thing was still painful to talk about, but:

Generally, Jungkook and Jimin were not liable since corporations like Bighit, weren't similar to partnerships where the board members had a fiduciary relationship. Jungkook might not be the one who orchestrated the fraud, but he concealed it after finding out the truth.

You scoffed at this. But in Jungkook's defense, he and Jimin only concealed the fraud because they were trying to protect their employees.

Bighit was a business process outsourcing organization. The people they hired to take calls and be in the customer service department were the same illegal immigrants underground. Jungkook and Jimin wanted to give these people a chance at living, so they helped fake their documents and hire them.

They were good at their jobs. Jungkook never hesitated to give them a profit share and higher benefits, especially for their retirement fund. Fitzgerald embezzled the money that was supposed to be for the employees. Even their legal reserves that weren't allowed to be used or to be distributed were gone.

Jimin signed documents and trusted the auditors Fitzgerald hired. Meanwhile, Jungkook blindly followed where Jimin was going. He was getting billions of money in the beginning, so he didn't mind. What more could he ask for, knowing that their employees and their families were basically worshipping Jungkook?

When things started going downhill, Jungkook was caught off guard. He was imprisoned with Jimin, and all his assets had been frozen. Mushitaro did his best to defend them, but this was a case that enraged the public. He also couldn't milk enough money from his clients so in the end, he did the bare minimum just to have the case closed.

It was difficult. Mushitaro was being harassed by Bighit’s employees too. Most of them were deported, while the other went into hiding. They threatened the lawyer to pass their messages to his clients, saying that they wished Jungkook and Jimin to both rot in hell and that they made their lives worse. They were doing okay underground, but now they couldn't even spend time with their deported family members, and they were hiding much stricter under the police's noses.

The employees said they wanted their backpay and promised retirement funds. Once, Jungkook was visited by someone in prison. The police officer said his visitor went by your name, so Jungkook cleaned himself up for the first time in days and immediately went to see you.

But you were nowhere to be seen. Jungkook came face to face with a Bighit employee instead. No one knew how the immigrant managed to bring a knife with him, but he did. He was raging when he slashed Jungkook's eyes with a knife.

The officers were quick to seize the immigrant while some of the guards went to attend to Jungkook. He was obviously shocked. He covered his eye, feeling the blood trickling down his hand. He heard loudly how the immigrant cursed and told him to die.

That was the beginning of Jungkook covering his eye with a bandage and the hell he'd face in prison.

"Wait." You grabbed your best friend's hand to get him to stop talking. It was all in the past now, yet you couldn't seem to take it. You also had too many questions.

"Y-You went to jail after I flew to France? Where..." You stuttered a breath and trailed off, feeling your heart clench tightly in your chest. Your ramen had gone cold now. You didn't have the stomach to eat it. All you could think about while looking at your spicy red broth was the blood cascading down Jungkook's eye from before.

Regret poked at the pit of your stomach. You wanted to vomit, but you couldn't. This wasn't about you. It was about Jungkook. You bit your lip and forced yourself to ask, "Where was Jisoo-unnie...? She....she didn't help you?"

Didn't she tell you I was gone? Despite leaving and not wanting to deal with bullshit, you made sure to leave traces so that Jungkook and Jisoo would know where you went off to. Sue you for being a hypocrite, but you were desperate then. You wanted your best friend and sister to see you thriving in spite of their absences in your life. You were pretty sure Jisoo managed to find your address in France because of the clues you left.

You hated your sister, but at the same time, you craved her validation and longed to see the pain in her eyes as you hurt her back.

Why didn't Jisoo tell the convicted Jungkook about your whereabouts?

"Jisoo-noona and I never talked to each other again after...." Jungkook didn't complete his statement, yet you understood it. After we betrayed you. Their last proper conversation was when Jungkook told you that he slept with Jisoo.

They didn't exactly talk at the hospital when Jungkook brought Jisoo there. However, Jisoo showed up at Jungkook's door a few days after you left. She brought a bottle of wine and soju.

Jungkook resolutely refused the offer, almost slamming the door in the older woman's face.

"I can't, Jisoo-noona," he held the doorknob tightly. "I'm not going to drink anymore." Not after what happened. Not after we fucked up. Not in this lifetime.

Jisoo understood what he meant, though she still deflated. Her pain was too much. Her body felt like deteriorating. Her chest was hollow. She begged, "We're not going to do something stupid, Jungkook. I'm just lonely. My little girl isn't answering any of my phone calls."

She had the audacity to get sad after what she had done, but Jisoo was just human, after all. She couldn't take the separation from her sister. She missed you despite everything. Talking to Jungkook gave Jisoo the illusion that you were still within reach.

Jungkook couldn't deny it, either. He missed his best friend, too, but he knew he messed up. He had a lot on his plate right now and couldn't be bothered to carry more burden and guilt by hanging out with Jisoo.

Besides, Jungkook knew his free days were numbered. He couldn't keep involving your sister in this mess, so days after his arrest and that immigrant slashing his eye, Jungkook wrote to Jisoo. He told her not to visit or associate with him as many of Bighit’s employees were indignant with him and would lash out at anyone close to him. Jungkook also told her to extend the same explanation to you.

Jungkook wrote to you every day, yet he didn't get any response. He assumed you really didn't want anything to do with him anymore. It was both a relief and a shame.

Despite everything, Jungkook continued writing to you. It wasn't to get you to visit him or anything. His days in prison became slightly bearable every time he let out his emotions through his letters.

The messages were mostly nonsensical—at least, this was how it started. Jungkook would reminisce about your moments together, tell you about his life in prison--how he was coping with his Jimin-hyung there, and how much he missed you.

Jungkook thought it wasn't that bad until he started receiving letters from people underground. The immigrants were still feeling resentful toward him and Jimin. They detailed how worst their lives had become after being deported. Those who were hiding in South Korea managed to hide their identity, but the blame and pressure were palpable in their letters.

Even the kid who clung to Jungkook’s legs before sent him an alarming message:

My mother hanged herself. I alone now. Blame you giving false hope. You break me. The letter was written childishly. The kid forced himself to write in Korean despite knowing too little about the language. Jungkook took the letter to heart. He couldn’t sleep nor eat. And it wasn’t like there was something to fill his stomach with.

New prisoners were treated like garbage. Jungkook spent his days two cells away from Jimin. He got away from the immigrants wanting to hurt him, but the people in prison were much worse.

“You stink,” Jungkook’s cellmate spat on his face. He hadn’t eaten in two days, his mouth smelling like rotten fish and acid. Jungkook managed to get a small cup of miso soup by massaging the kitchen head’s feet for two hours. Unfortunately, Jimin didn’t know how to navigate a life in prison. He was too righteous, igniting the anger of most prisoners. He wasn’t given any ration, so Jungkook set aside his hunger and gave Jimin-hyung the soup.

“Pardon me, boss.” Jungkook didn’t wipe the spit on his cheek and just bowed his head obediently. “I’ll stay in the corner, but you can call me any time you need something. I will do anything for you.”

It was the lowest of the low, but Jungkook had to swallow his pride. This person he called boss had a lot of food stash. He was quite popular in this place. Many prisoners tried to curry favor with him. Thankfully, it wasn’t hard to please him. People like him got an ego boost whenever they thought they were being worshipped. True enough, he clicked his tongue and threw a KitKat bar to Jungkook.

“Eat that for now. Come sit with me at the table during lunchtime. Ya gotta eat, your breath will kill me.”

“Thank you, boss.” Jungkook ate half of the chocolate and saved the other half for Jimin. The boss shook his head disapprovingly. He thought Jungkook was stupid. He used the little money he had to buy papers so he could write a letter for someone outside the prison, and yet. The boss shook his head one more time, and yet he never received a response.

“I didn’t receive any of your letters.” You interrupted the storytelling again. “Where did you send them? How…” How stupid are you to think I could ever bear to see you suffer? Do you really think it would take me more than two letters to respond to you? But you didn’t say any of this. It would break Jungkook’s heart more. You changed your question, “What did you write to me?”

Jungkook didn’t have any appetite anymore, either. But reminiscing his life in prison made him want to stuff all the food before him in his mouth.

“I was told you got my letters.”

Life in prison started to get better when Jungkook started buttering up Fukuchi—the boss, though he had to face some initiation at first.

Jungkook couldn’t refute anything. He was tired of deep diving in the sea of the prison’s garbage truck just to get him and Jimin something to eat. Jimin joined his food-searching quest, but he wasn’t much of a help.

“You’re making this harder for me, Jiminnie-hyung ~ Can you just sit there and watch out for the prison guard, hmm~?” Jungkook maintained his sweet tone in spite of his exhaustion. He had to remind himself that Jimin-hyung was hurt; hence, he couldn’t move fast. His cellmates had beaten him up again. They said they didn’t like the way Jimin looked when they admitted to using his toothbrush to clean the floor. His cellmate's exact words were, “You should be thankful we’re cleaning our space with your damn toothbrush. Aren’t you acting all pure and shit? Your saliva is our holy water. Save us, Saint Jiminnie.”

The precious nickname Jungkook made up for Jimin was now tainted. They laughed and kicked Jimin when the latter told the officer what his cellmates did to his toothbrush.

Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to tell Jimin to just let it go. But at the same time, he felt like Jimin-hyung should have known better than to fight those idiotic cellmates of his. He was both frustrated and empathetic toward his friend. All he could do for Jimin was search for some food on his behalf.

Thankfully, Jimin listened and watched out for guards as Jungkook swam in the sea of garbage. He found a half-eaten pudding and handed it to Jimin.

“It’s expired,” Jimin said. They weren’t in the position to be picky, so Jungkook only beamed at him.

“I haven’t met anyone who died because of expired food. Come on, Jiminnie-hyung.~ That would do.” Jimin was on the verge of passing out. His face was pale, and his lips were chapped. He needed to eat something. With a few more coaxing from Jungkook, Jimin finally swallowed the expired pudding.

He felt a little better for a while, but Jungkook had terrible luck—his words were jinxed a few hours later. Someone from Jimin’s cell banged the gate, calling the officer’s attention to report Jimin’s state.

“Heyo! Anybody there? The blond lad right here is dyin'. We don’t want his rotten corpse in here. Help!”

Jungkook jolted awake at that. He desperately stuck his head on his cell gate, hoping to see Jimin-hyung. His action was for nought, so he helped bang the gate to get the officers’ attention, too. Fortunately, the guards appeared and were able to bring Jimin to the hospital. Jungkook would never forget the image of his friend curled into a ball while clenching his stomach. He was vomiting as he got food poisoning from eating the expired pudding.

It was a blessing in disguise, though. Jimin was able to eat slightly better food at the hospital. Jungkook swore he would never let his friend suffer again. His choice led to some drastic consequences, but he couldn’t care less:

He sought Fukuchi’s protection for his and Jimin’s sake. The initiation was hell. To Jungkook’s horror, even the correctional officers licked Fukuchi’s bottom. Everyone turned into a slave when money and power were involved. They did not bat an eyelash when Jungkook ran around the prison hallway. A group of prisoners chased after him while the others stayed locked up in their cells, watching menacingly through the crack of the gated cell how moronically Jungkook ran.

Jungkook was in the shower room. He slipped and fell because of the wet tiles marred by mold. The prisoners caught up to him. They dragged Jungkook’s already fragile body to the ground.

"Don't make trouble." Someone pressed Jungkook’s face to the floor until he couldn't breathe properly, and then he felt that person grabbing his hand, his fingertips caressing Jungkook's wrist. "It'll hurt more if you resist."

The brunet felt the syringe sinking deep into his skin. It hurt at first— but soon, it only tickled. His heart started beating so loudly that he thought it would burst inside his ribcage. His vision was doubling, too, but the euphoria pumping through his veins made him lose his inhibitions. Every emotion was amplified. Jungkook giggled when someone took off his pants, spreading his legs wide until he felt a police baton sinking deep into his hole.

Jungkook screeched. There was blood everywhere, yet the prisoners did not stop. He lost count of how many times the syringe corrupted his bloodstream. Every hole of his body (his ears, nose, mouth, and even eyes) was coated with the sticky liquid coming from those men.

His body was painted with nasty teeth marks. The shades of blue, purple, and green were such a sore in the eyes that Jungkook had to cover his body with bandages even after months of the attack. It fucked him so badly, but he could only swallow his grievances for his and Jimin’s sake.

At least now, they were not treated like trash. They had full meals now, and Fukuchi grew more satisfied with Jungkook’s mind. One day, Fukuchi introduced him to someone outside the prison.

“Lee Sung.” The outsider offered his hand for a shake. Jungkook was forced to accept the greeting. Lee Sung was a sadist at heart, though. A blade was hidden in his palm. It slashed Jungkook’s skin when they shook hands.

“You look alive. Aren’t you using the dead apple?” Lee Sung let go of the brunet’s hand, acting as if he hadn’t just caused Jungkook’s hand to trickle down with blood.

Jungkook was unfazed. He gently wiped his bloodied hand in his pants. He lied through his teeth, “Well, someone has to be sober for this, don’t you think, Lee Sung-ssi~? We can’t all be Snow White.”

‘Dead Apple’ was the drug injected into Jungkook on the day of his initiation. The effect of the drug was unapparelled, bringing the user into a different universe because of the ‘high’ feeling. It was called Dead Apple because the users would often lose consciousness or act like hypnotized zombies who would do your bidding as long as you hit something inside of them. For example, Jungkook saw Jimin through rose-colored glasses, so one of the prisoners who injected him with Dead Apple pretended to be Jimin and Jungkook, under the effect of the drug, fell into this pretense and didn’t question whatever those men did to him. It was only after some hours after the assault did he come back to his senses.

Coming to his senses didn’t necessarily mean he would forget the assault. He remembered it all too well, and nothing—not even the unadulterated euphoria would convince Jungkook to try it again. He associated that drug with his loss of freedom and more hatred for his already wretched body. One could call him a hypocrite because despite knowing the deadly effect of Dead Apple, it did not stop him from letting other people have access to it.

Life, especially in prison, was not like a fairytale. The initiation he had to be part of Decay of Angels—Fukuchi’s group, wasn’t enough to prove he was worthy. Jungkook had to strategize to keep Fukuchi’s business prospering. He was in charge of thinking of ways to supply the other inmates with drugs while making sure the higher-ups would not suspect a thing. Some officers were part of this scheme, but not all of them could turn a blind eye. Truthfully, Jungkook had been devising plans to get the officers already in this plan to keep supporting them.

Fukuchi soon realized how essential Jungkook was to this whole ordeal, so from being a chess piece, Jungkook was promoted to king. He had the privilege now to meet members of Decay of Angels who were not in prison.

Lee Sung was present at this meeting. He was tasked to get a feel of the king in prison. One look and Lee Sung already knew Jungkook was dangerous. Lee Sung had to find a way to break him.

“And how does staying sober benefit the Decay of Angel, Jungkook-ah?”

Jungkook tilted his head as he raised his hand to show his five fingers, “Five percent.”

Lee Sung was quick to snort at the number. Fukuchi came to the rescue, “Lee Sung, I know it sounds insignificant, but do note that Jungkook-ssi right here has been in this game for only a few days.” He also explained that the officer who had been eyeing the Decay of Angels had been transferred to another jurisdiction, all thanks to Jungkook’s effort.

Now, the drug dealing in Incheon was much more free.

Lee Sung finally looked pleased because of this. He jutted his chin out, “Very well, then, Jungkook-ah.~ Just tell me what prize you want, I can give it to you.~”

Jungkook jumped into the offer at once. He wrote a name on a piece of paper and handed it to Lee Sung. The latter laughed, thinking that Jungkook wanted someone killed. That could easily be arranged, but the brunet was enigmatic. Lee Sung never would have thought that someone could be this stupidly sweet.

“Consider it done,” Lee Sung stood up and saluted. Sometime later, Jungkook received a letter from Gogol. It contained printed photos of a kid smiling while holding hands with his adopted parents.

Choi Yeonjun. Did you like his new name, Jungkook-ah? The bottom of the letter said.

Jungkook breathed a sigh of relief. The kid who clung to his leg was okay now. Jungkook couldn’t stop with just this, though. Every time he did something for the benefit of the Decay of Angels, he would ask Lee Sung to grant him the favor of helping the previous employees of Bighit. Unfortunately, his efforts were not enough. He slowly incurred a lot of debt to Lee Sung. The latter said it wasn’t his money. It was his boss who lent Jungkook the money.

The death threats toward him and Jimin lessened, too. Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed by Jimin. He confronted Jungkook about it, knowing well that his friend was behind this. Jungkook had always been one step ahead of everything. Sadly, he was not one to make rational choices.

It was easy for Jimin to figure it all out. Jungkook would sometimes joke that Jimin could see the future, therefore giving him the ability of flawless. “Your conjecture has always been flawless, Jiminnie-hyung~!” Jungkook used to tell him.

It wasn’t any different now. Jungkook was being treated like a God in prison these days. He had the privilege to sit beside Fukuchi, and Jimin was not blind not to see the rampant spread of Dead Apple. In fact, one of his cellmates offered him to try the drug. Jimin firmly refused. He easily connected the dots, and when his conjecture had truly become ‘flawless,’ he then confronted Jungkook.

“This is dangerous, Jungkook. You have to stop.” Jimin was not one to resort to violence, but he couldn’t help but grab the younger man’s shirt and slam him against the wall. “You are dealing with illegal drugs, for Pete’s sake. Aren’t you afraid? You only have a few months in your sentence. Don’t make a decision that would harm you.”

I’m doing this for you. Jungkook wanted to shake Jimin. I’m doing this for the people who used to believe in us. I can’t abandon them. You said they’re important to you. I just want to make you happy, Jimin-hyung.

However, vulnerability and truth didn’t sit well with Jungkook. He wriggled out of Jimin’s grasp. “Just trust me, Jiminnie-hyung.”

Jungkook was in too deep. He needed to pay his debts to Lee Sung’s boss, save some money for himself, and start all over again. Their sentence was only reduced because the Decay of Angels paid some of his dues. They were billions of yen as their case impacted the Korean economy.

Jungkook wanted to reclaim his life and maybe…maybe see you again.

You still hadn’t responded to any of Jungkook’s letters, but he didn’t plan on giving up. He tripled the letter he sent, hoping that you would find it annoying and finally reply to him. He would take anything from you, even if it was just pure hatred.

Everything would be okay in no time. He would be out in prison with Jimin soon, so he smiled at his friend, thinking that Jimin understood him.

Except that he didn’t.

Jungkook had no one else to blame—

Only himself.

He should have known Jimin wouldn’t keep his mouth shut. He wouldn’t blindly trust Jungkook when the well-being of other people was involved. It didn’t matter if they were prisoners. Jimin wouldn’t want these people to harm themselves more.

Jimin was righteous. He couldn’t just watch Jungkook destroy himself and the others, so he did what he thought was right: he told a police officer about the drug scheme in prison.

What a joke.

Did he really think he could make a difference? The police officer nodded along with Jimin, even escorting him to where he could report such a crime.

Jimin sighed in relief. He thought he could sleep well that night, but he couldn’t.

Jimin wasn’t escorted to report the crime. He was stuck in the giant walk-in freezer in the prison’s kitchen.

At five twenty-four in the morning, Park Jimin was found dead.

********

A/N: Hello. It's been almost a month since I last updated. I hope you still remember this fic ~~

I know this chapter is upsetting. :(( I'm sorry, there might...? be more to come.

Also, a little update: life is being a total bitch to me. I have a hard time adjusting at work, and would sometimes use the little free time I have to just cry. It was a public holiday in my country last Friday and this coming Monday, but being in accounting means having no break. I still need to work :// My health is being compromised lately as I am working the night shift. It's super stressful because almost everyone around me keeps saying that I am losing too much weight. I KNOW it already :((( anyway, I'm rambling. Please tell me your thoughts about this chapter.

If you feel like dropping this fic, please do so! But please be kind in the comment or don't tell me at all.

Thank you ~~ See you next time! (Hopefully soon, but damn it's quarter close next month, so I will probably be busy waahhh)

Got more suggestions about the tag/warnings? Feel free to tell me. The goal here is to be more mindful.

#jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #ficswithluv #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x oc #Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con #tw drugs

108 notes · View notes

mugloversonly · 1 month ago

Text

Saved Yourself

Summary: Eddie went to a club to get out of his comfort level a little… it didn't go well. Steve finds him and finds out just what happened to the metalhead. This one is kinda heavy cw: attempted rape, violence, referenced rape

AO3

Eddie’s known for a while that he was bisexual. He even had a few trysts in Hawkins. After spring break, he didn’t hookup in Hawkins anymore. Not from a lack of options mind you. It’s surprising how many people are interested in sleeping with an alleged serial killer. Especially when the real killer was sitting behind bars. If it wasn’t for his D&D sheepies and their weird band of teenage friends, he’d be on the hook for it. It really weirded him out.

He’d been to gay clubs before, but never by himself. He should have asked Robin to come with him, but he knew she was going out with Chrissy and Steve tonight (he was invited, but he needed to do this). She would have joined is the thing. After everything, the two of them had become as close as two people who already had platonic soulmates could get. But he needed to be brave and do something on his own for once.

He got to the front and flashed his ID, with his birthday last week, he finally didn’t have to use a fake.

He stepped through the door and was bombarded with lights, sounds, and smells he had never experienced. A huge smile broke across his face. He found his people.

He makes his way to the bar, and as he’s waiting for the bartender, a man sits on the stool next to him. He turned and smiled at the man. “Hey cutie,” he said. “Don’t think I’ve seen you here before” he grinned. Eddie tried not to roll his eyes. Classic pick up line.

“You haven’t. This is my first time here”. Eddie confirmed as the bartender made his way over. He ordered a beer, tilted it in thanks before taking a sip. He glanced around, and saw the packed dance floor. He wasn’t much of a dancer but, for tonight? He was pushing himself out of his comfort zone. “What’s your name?” He asked.

“Jaime.”

“I’m Eddie. Wanna dance?” He tried for a flirtatious smile. It seemed to work as Jaime stood and grabbed his elbow to pull him onto the dance floor. He immediately grabbed onto Eddie’s hands and pulled him close. “I’m just here to dance.” He made sure to be stern.

“That’s okay, baby. I love to dance.” Jaime winked. Eddie glanced around, saw the way everyone was moving and did his best to replicate it. He must’ve been doing something right because by the next song, another man was cutting in.

“Mind if I cut in?” He asked. Jaime looked reluctant but Eddie was here for a fun night.

“Sure!” Eddie exclaimed, shifting around to dance with the new guy, Daniel, he found out. Daniel, had his hands on Eddie’s hips, swaying them side to side. Eddie’s hands wrapped around his shoulders and pressed in close. The heady mix of alcohol and old cigarettes, rushed to his head.

He was right where he wanted to be; he’d found nirvana.

At the end of the song, another man cut in to dance. This one grasped Eddie from behind and thrust his hips against his ass. Eddie took the hint and ground back against him. He put his hands on the shoulders behind him, threw his head back and closed his eyes. He kind of liked the feeling of not knowing who was behind him. The music moved through him and he felt electric. He didn’t get this one’s name, but he found it added to the electricity.

By the time he took a break to get a drink, he had a few more dance partners. He stopped counting after ten. He settled up to the bar and ordered a beer but when he tried to pay, the bartender said someone already covered it, pointing to a pretty blond man at the end of the bar. He should protest, but if he learned anything from his dad, it was to never look a free drink in the mouth. He lifted his beer towards the man before taking a long sip.

The blond man came over and slid into the bar stool next to him. “The name is David, I saw you dancing. You looked incredible, can I take you for a spin?” He asked with a wink. Eddie did his best not to recoil in disgust. Nonetheless, he nodded and drank his whole beer in one go.

He was having an amazing time. David kept complimenting him, telling him how pretty he was. He’d never had someone call him pretty before and it happened so many times tonight that he lost count. Another man stepped up behind him.

“Hey Gorgeous, I’m James. Can I join you two?” Eddie giggled as the guy introduced himself. “Your ass is perfect, baby” he whispered in his ear as he squeezed his ass. He tensed a bit before relaxing again. Just like he had been doing all night, Eddie let James know he was only there to dance.

Suddenly, he found himself with David pulling him chest to chest, and James pushing his hips against Eddie’s ass. He threw one arm over David’s shoulders and another behind him to touch James’.

Eddie had never felt so desired. And it wasn’t because of his reputation. It was the way he looked. Not people who wanted to pay for drugs in a different way, or sleep with an alleged killer. Just men looking for a good and fun time, and finding Eddie. The rush made his head swirl. The two men told him how beautiful and radiant he looked. It felt like they were competing for his affection. He felt powerful. Dare say, loved.

________________

The night was going amazingly. He had danced with so many men, and even a number of women. Their hands were all over him. In his hair, on his chest, squeezing his ass and even a few bold hands lightly grazing over his cock-which he could do without; but, it was so quick he didn’t think much of it. He was sweaty, and parched, but was elated for the most part.

Eddie made his way to the bar again and grabbed a water this time. He did have to drive home after all. Instead of staying at the bar, he found an empty booth and slid in. He breathed a sigh of relief when no one approached him immediately. He was having an amazing time, but he was starting to get tired.

His respite was short lived; however, when someone he never thought he’d see here waltzed up, smirking at him. “Tommy Hagan?!” Eddie exclaimed, doing his best to keep his fear in check. He knew Tommy was in the closet after the last few encounters they had, but he didn’t think he’d ever have to see him again after he left for college.

“Eddie Munson. Long time no see.” Tommy said, a predatory grin on his face. “Mind if I have a seat?” Eddie shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant.

“Free country man.” Tommy slid into the booth, not exactly crowding Eddie, but not exactly giving him space either. He moved his hand towards him, just a bit. An open invitation that he ignored.

“You looked so beautiful out there Eddie.” Tommy said quietly. “I loved watching you move.” A predatory leer gracing his face. He wasn’t sure what his face was doing, but as Tommy’s eyes hardened, Eddie had a pretty good idea. “No, it’s true. You know I always thought you were pretty, even in high school. It’s why I was so angry at you all the time. I’d only been into girls, and then suddenly this guy turns my head.” He snorted. He knew he was Tommy’s gay awakening, but to be reminded of it here? Priceless. “If I’m assuming correctly, you’re here to meet someone. Well, I’m someone. Let me take you home.”

“Thanks, but I’m not interested in doing anything but dance tonight.”

Tommy smirked. “With the way you were grinding on me, I would have thought you’d be eager for it”. An icy feeling ran up Eddie’s spine. It must have been the man he didn’t see. His face paled and he was suddenly nauseous. Before he could respond, David slid into the booth opposite him.

“So darling, think about my offer?” He completely ignored Tommy in favor of propositioning him. How was he to reject two guys without the other thinking he was accepting?

“I’m flattered,” he was interrupted by both Jaime and James coming up to the booth too. Shit. Now there were four guys. He told them all(well minus Tommy) that he just wanted to dance. He guessed they would take a hint, but they must have assumed he was playing hard to get. “Uh, I think I want to dance some more.” He nudged Tommy so he could slide out. On his way past, Tommy groped his ass, and he suppressed a shudder. He abandoned his drink and slipped back into the crowd.

Hopefully that told the guys that he wasn’t interested. A glance behind him, told him otherwise. He ducked into a shadow on the dance floor, and did his best to blend into it. The four men seemed to be working together to find him, but they weren’t successful.

Just when he was taking a breath, he found himself face to face with Daniel, who was eyeing him with hunger. He squeaked, drawing the attention of the other four. Backed into a corner, he did his best to seem smaller. Looking around, there was no clear escape route.

“Come on Eddie,” Jaime said. “You danced with all of us. Which one of us to you like?” He didn’t know what would happen if he were to choose.

“I like all of you.” He said holding his hands up in surrender. Tommy growled in frustration.

“Which one of us do you like more?” Tommy asked. Panicked Eddie pushed himself further into the corner.

“I don’t know! I don’t know!” He shouted. The group started shouting at each other. Pushing each other and yelling, all trying to get closer to Eddie.

He wanted to feel desirable, but this was a whole other level. He didn’t exactly hate it. He could admit that to himself. Finding out that people would fight over him, just because he was cute and funny, well, that did something for his ego. As flattered as he was, he still paled at the thought that they were going to literally fight over him.

Thankfully, in all the commotion, there was an opening he could slip through. He decided he had enough fun and made his way to the exit.

He pushed his way outside and walked towards the alley behind the bar. He cursed his past self for parking a few blocks away and that the alley was the only route to his van. Behind him, he heard the voices of the men from earlier. Doing the only thing he could think of, he took off like a shot.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t as fast as usual since he was worn out from the dancing. They caught up to him and surrounded him again. They closed ranks making sure there was no way he could slip past again. “shit,” he murmured to himself.

“You’re a fucking tease, you know that?” Daniel spit, the others nodding their agreement.

“I told you I only wanted to dance” Eddie insisted.

“A pretty thing like you?” Jaime sneered. “Never only wants to dance.” Jaime calling him pretty suddenly didn’t sound so nice.

“Since you couldn’t choose,” James said. “We’ll choose for you.” He stalked forward.

“Boys,” Tommy smirked. “We can share. Take turns. Don’t worry, he won’t fight back. He never fights.” Eddie’s eyes widened as he looked around at the men. They were looking at him like he was a piece of meat. And not in a fun way. “Who should go first?” Tommy smirked. The look in his eyes sent terror through Eddie. He’d had that same look when he and Billy bought from him together. Nothing good came from that look. Bile rose in his throat as Tommy spoke again. “I wonder if we can make him cry. He’s pretty when he cries”.

There was some debate going on but Eddie tuned it out. He was doing his best not to hyperventilate as he looked down the alley for help. There was no one around that he could see. He was shit out of luck.

“Looks like, since I danced with you first, I go first.” Jaime stepped forward and grabbed him by the wrist. He yanked his hand, but he held strong.

“Let me go!” Eddie yelled, hoping his screaming would make the men back off. He didn’t see where the blow came from, but his face burst in pain and he was spun around and pinned against the wall of the bar, his arm twisted up behind him, making him gasp in pain.

Someone pushed his face against the brick, and another attempted to kick his legs apart. He was really panicking now. Five on one was never a fair fight, but add into it his fear of what would happen if he stopped fighting... Eddie thrashed around. He screamed, and kicked, and threw his body back against his attackers. Nothing was working. It was easy to hold one person down, especially if you outnumbered them.

They all fought back, smacking his face, slamming his head into the brick, a hand found its way around his neck, tightening hard.

At that, all the fight left him. He let his body go slack and closed his eyes. If he couldn’t physically get away, he could at least mentally check out right? He’d done it before. The men laughed in victory as they moved in closer. “Limp like a rag doll” Tommy sneered. Eddie was so focused on blocking out what was around him, that he didn’t hear the sounds of footsteps coming towards them.

Suddenly, there were grunts of pain, and Eddie was falling to the ground. He landed harshly on his hands and knees, coughing and sputtering as he gulped in air. He blinked his eyes clear, and as the spots disappeared from his vision, he saw a man silhouetted, against the street lights. He had a magnificent swoop of hair, a gray members only jacket, and blue jeans that hugged his frame. In his hands, was a nail studded baseball bat that he was swinging with intent at Eddie’s attackers.

He couldn’t believe his eyes. This had to be a mistake right? Until he heard the man’s voice.

“You better get the fuck out of here assholes, before I make you.” He swung again. Steve.

Steve and Eddie had become unlikely friends. After the new freshman he adopted had spoken so highly of Steve Harrington, Eddie was convinced it was all an act. But after Jason Carver broke into his trailer and attacked his girlfriend, Chrissy Cunningham, as Eddie watched, he stopped thinking about reputations and rumors. He managed to knock him out before he did real damage, but that made him angrier.

In his desperation, Eddie picked Chrissy up and carried her to his car. He was going to take her to the hospital, but he knew how this looked. So he did the only thing he could think of, and drove to Steve Harrington’s.

By the time they had patched Chrissy up, agreed that the two of them should hide there, and pulled Eddie’s van into the garage, Chrissy and Eddie were heading fast towards platonic soulmate territory and Steve was becoming Eddie’s best guy friend. Even Carver killing other teens and pinning it on Eddie couldn’t damage it.

In fact, it was Steve who helped clear his name, along with the rest of the party.

So seeing Steve here, made him instantly feel safe, before he remembered where he was. Outside a gay bar. Shit.

His adrenaline was still quickening his blood, his heartbeat filled his ears. His vision blurred. He could vaguely hear Steve yelling again. All his attackers ran off as soon as Steve started swinging. All except one.

Tommy Hagan.

He didn’t seem to care that someone he knows saw him outside a gay bar, in fact he smirked. “Steve-O. Why are you defending this trash? I know the kind of guy Munson is and I know he’s beneath you. He’s used goods. Trust me.” He smirked. For once Tommy was right. Eddie was unworthy of Steve. Especially here in this alley. He was trash, horrible and dirty. Used up.

It’s his fault he’s even here. If he hadn’t come alone. If he told someone where he was, if he hadn’t danced. If he wasn’t such a...

“He’s such a fucking tease.” Came Tommy’s sneer, almost as if he pulled the thought right from his mind. “What, because he finally graduated, he’s too good from me now?” Eddie was filled with shame. His face heated and tears filled his eyes again. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to hold them back. He did his best to keep them quiet but he wasn’t sure he was successful. Especially when Tommy laughed meanly “even if he wasn’t easy, he’s a fucking murderer”.

Eddie took gasping breaths. Even here, miles from home, he can’t escape. No matter that Carver had confessed, there were still those who thought he’d brainwashed him into killing the other teens and he staged his own injuries when he fought Jason to protect Max.

For reasons he couldn’t name, it hurt worse that Tommy thought that. He hated himself for caring what he thought. Hunched on the floor of the alley, he rolled himself into a ball, arms tight around his legs.

He vaguely heard Steve yelling and a short scuffle. When the fighting stopped, a figure made his way over. Through his sobbing panic, he couldn’t tell which of them it was. A hand reached out and he flinched back so violently, he slammed his shoulder into the brick wall. His panic increased tenfold when the hand didn’t stop. He let out a little whimper. “Don’t touch me” he pleaded, “not again.” His voice was rough as the words clawed from his throat. “Don’t hurt me”. White hot shame coursed through him as he begged. “Not again, please”. Fear was quickly overtaken by relief when the hand pulled back.

“Hey, hey. It’s me. It’s Steve.” A hushed voice reassured. Steve. With a shudder, he tried to regulate his breathing. Steve held his hand out, palm up, in invitation. Grateful to have a choice this time, he grabbed his hand. Steve took his hand and pulled it to his chest. “Follow my breaths.” He breathed in and out deliberately until Eddie’s breathing returned to normal. He pulled his hand back and wiped them over his face before wrapping them around himself.

Rocking back and forth, he dragged his hands up and down his arms in an attempt to self-soothe. “Thanks…for the breathing, and the rescue.” Eddie whispered. “Not to sound ungrateful, but how did you end up in this alley?” He couldn’t meet Steve’s eyes, not until he calmed down.

Steve cleared his throat. “The bar across the street is where the girls and I went tonight. I took a smoke break, when I saw someone practically sprint out of the club and people follow.” He took a shuddering breath. “I just reacted. Popped the trunk, grabbed the bat, and took off. It wasn’t until Tommy started talking shit that I even realized it was you.”

“Right place, right time.” They nodded in agreement. Wait…Steve is with the girls. Shit. “Listen, can you not tell the girls about this? I’m sober enough to drive, and I’d really like to go home and forget.” A frown graced Steve’s mouth.

“They wouldn’t judge you Eddie.”

“No,” he agreed. “I just can’t deal with their concern right now.” Eddie grabbed Steve’s hand again, holding tightly. Trying to get him to understand. He searched Eddie’s face and whatever he saw there convinced him. He sighed.

“Fine. I won’t tell them. But unless you plan to hide for the next week or so, they’ll see the evidence. So, you should be ready to tell them something” He gestured to the other man’s face. Eddie reached a hand up and felt something wet. He expected tears, but his hand was covered in blood. “Robin is going to go on a rampage, and knowing Chrissy? She’ll help.” He chuckled not noticing Eddie’s face pale.

The panic returns, his breathing speeds up, he turns to look at Steve, his frightened eyes reflected back to him. He felt the world tilt and he knew he was running out of time. He needed to tell him to call...he needed...

“Wayne” he manages to say before he promptly passes out.

____________

Eddie never had the luxury of waking slowly. His eyes burst open and he startled when he doesn’t recognize where he is. Remembering the last time this happened, he sat up and quickly threw off the scratchy blankets. Swinging his legs off the bed, he makes to stand up before someone was on him. He screamed and thrashed, pulling himself out of the arms around him. He made a break for the door, before he was being restrained again.

Still trying to fight his way out, a bustle of people ran through the door. He cried and begged to be let go, to not be hurt anymore, but they ignored him and stuck a needle in his arm. He screamed out for his Uncle Wayne to help him, but he was no where to be found. His body started to slump, whatever they injected him with causing him to feel drowsy. “Wayne,” he whispered helplessly. “Steve, help me”. Then he was unconscious again.

When he next woke up, it was quiet. He blinked slowly in the harsh light as he stretched his arms. Or tried to, but he was stopped. He looked down and his wrists were bound to the bed. Not again. Eddie thought as he thrashed against the binds. Whimpers fell from his lips as he struggled. A wrinkled hand grabbed his own. Instead of panic, this time he was filled with relief. “Wayne” he whispered, instantly calming. He saw his Uncle’s calm face come into view as he reached over and hit the call button.

“Hey kid.” Wayne said softly. Before he could respond, the door opened and a nurse came in. She checked his vitals and unbound his wrists.

“Sorry about these,” she said looking genuinely remorseful. “You woke up fighting a few times so we had to sedate you. The straps are a precaution.” Her eyes hardened as she explained. “I told them it was a bad idea to restrain you as that would probably cause you more panic, but hospital security never listens to us.” She shook her head in annoyance. “The doc will be in in a minute, but for now, close your eyes.” She left some cream for his wrists if he needed it, and placed something from the cafeteria on the tray in front of him. “Alright, open.” She whispered with a wink. He opened his eyes and found a bowl of vanilla ice cream. “The good stuff, that’s for the doctors and pregnant people.” His favorite. Eddie found himself smiling for the first time in hours. Maybe days. He had no idea how long he has been here. The nurse left with another apology for the restraints.

“I thought you promised no more hospital this year?” Wayne eyes shined with tears. Suddenly, Eddie went from relief at seeing his uncle to guilt for making him sit next to another hospital bed. There was no way he would be able to hold back his tears, so Eddie didn’t even try.

“I’m sorry, dad.” His eyes burning as the tears kept coming. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.” Wayne cursed under he breath before he nudged Eddie. He slid over and Wayne got into bed with him. He held him close like he did when Eddie first moved in. Shushing him gently and petting his hair, he spoke the mantra from his childhood, “nothing to apologize for. It’s okay, we’re okay.” Repeating it over and over until Eddie’s tears dried up.

“I know you didn’t mean it Ed. This isn’t your fault, you hear me?” Wayne pressed a kiss into his hair. “Not your fault” he said again, as if he knew Eddie hadn’t believed him. He nodded into his uncle’s chest. “Are you feeling up to some visitors?” Eddie shook his head, before nodding it, and then shaking it again. Wayne huffed. “Which is it?” Amusement clear in his tone. Eddie wasn’t sure if he could explain to his uncle that he only wanted to see one person. Nevertheless, he tried.

“Steve” was all that came out, but luckily his uncle knew what he needed.

“He’s been waiting in the lobby for you for two days now.” This caused Eddie to sit up.

“Two days?”

“Yeah son. It’s Monday.” He’d been at the club on Saturday. Wayne was missing work today and Steve was likely missing work too. His eyes prickled again with shame and self-loathing. If he hadn’t been so stupid and easy, none of this would have happened.

“They wouldn’t allow anyone but me in the room since you kept reacting aggressively when you woke up” Wayne rubbed his back soothingly, misinterpreting Eddie’s tears. He fell back into Wayne’s chest. Too exhausted to sit up. “I’ll go tell him he can come back”. Wayne goes to disentangle himself from his nephew, but he grabs his shirt and won’t let go. He let out a pitiful sound that broke Wayne’s heart. Sitting back on the bed, he gathered Eddie back in his arms. “Alright, alright. I’ll let one of the nurses know he can come back. Is that okay?” Eddie nodded. “He’s here with two those young ladies, Robin and Chrissy. He tried to tell ‘em to go home, but they’re as stubborn as him, if not more so.” He chuckled and Eddie weakly joined in.

As much as Robin and Steve were platonic soulmates, so were Eddie and Chrissy. She wouldn’t go anywhere once she knew he was here. And Robin would never leave Steve here alone. It warmed his heart to know he had such good friends. “Steve first.” He pressed the words into his uncle’s shirt.

He called for a nurse to let his friends know he was awake. Not five minutes later, Steve practically threw the door off the hinges. Eddie startled so violently, he would have fallen off the bed if not for Wayne’s arms around him. He sent Steve a glare over Eddie’s head. Steve slid into the room much quieter.

“Sorry” he whispered. He looked at Eddie like he wanted to reach out but was afraid of hurting him. He gave him a tentative smile as he held his hand out, once again giving Eddie the choice to take it or not. Feeling seen, Eddie took his hand with a grateful smile. “How’re feeling Eds?” He kept that same hushed tone.

Eddie shrugged. He hadn’t taken the time to check himself over. “What happened?” Based on the look on Steve’s face, Eddie isn’t sure he wants to know.

“What all do you remember?” Steve asked. Thinking back, only one thing came rushing back; being cornered by Tommy Hagan.

“Tom...Tommy, he.” He felt Wayne’s arms tighten; Eddie’s sure he recognizes the name. He felt his airways close, the heart rate monitor picked up speed, as did his breathing. Steve took a step closer, but Wayne held his hand up to stop him. He wrapped his arms tighter around Eddie, being sure to leave his arms free so he wouldn’t feel trapped. He rocked them back and forth, and began singing the song that always worked to calm Eddie.

“Someday I wish upon a star, with clouds so far behind me” the familiar tune of Somewhere over the Rainbow coming back to him instantly though it’s been some time since he’s had to sing this for his nephew. His deep husky voice filled the room until it drowned out Eddie’s quieting sobs. Steve remembered how this helped the last time he was in the hospital and joined in softly.

When Eddie joined in, Wayne knew he was calming down. He reached a hand out to Steve and gently grasped it. The other hand was wrapped around Wayne’s arm, holding him close. “Thanks for rescuing me, Stevie.” He whispered. “If you hadn’t shown up when you did I don’t know...I mean I know what would have happened and I’m really glad that it didn’t.” He said wetly. It was obvious to everyone that he was trying not to cry again.

“Eddie, you said something in the alley.” Steve said morosely. He glanced at Wayne, unsure if he should ask in front of him. Before he could, there was a knock on the door. The doctor opened it a few seconds later. She was a short, older black woman, about Wayne’s age. Her long salt and pepper hair was pulled back into a braided bun.

“Hello Eddie. I’m DR. Kate. I need to check your vitals, do a quick exam, and ask you some questions. Is that okay?” He stiffened. He’s always hated Doctors. “Your Uncle told us you’d be more comfortable with a female doctor. Is that true or would you prefer a male?” She smiled at him kindly.

“He’s right.” Eddie said. “You can check me out.” He’d been wary of men since his father, which was why he pushed himself to go out last night. Or a few nights ago. Look at all the good that did him.

“Okay, I need everyone who isn’t family to step out please.” She said to the room, though it was obvious she was talking to Steve. Eddie’s heart picked up, the monitor going crazy. He grabbed Steve’s hand so tight his knuckles turned white.

“No, no. Don’t make him leave.” He cried out. His eyes welled with tears and he willed them not to fall. Seeing his reaction, DR. Kate pursed her lips.

“One moment.” She turned and walked out of the room without another word. The three men looked at each other the confusion clear on all of their faces. Dr. Kate came back with a sheet of paper she handed to Wayne. “Sorry Eddie. Since I haven’t done an exam on you yet, and you have a head injury, I can’t say if you are in good mental capacity to consent; however, if you Uncle signs this form, this young man can stay in the room.” Everyone turned to Wayne. The ball was in his court.

He looked at his nephew, then back to Steve. Steve has always been good to Eddie, not to mention he saved Eddie. With no hesitation, he signed the line, giving Steve permission. The doctor took the form and moved to Eddie’s side. “I’m going to need the two of you to step back from Eddie please.” She said with a warm smile towards Eddie. Wayne unwrapped himself from his nephew. Steve tried to take his hand away but, he was still white knuckling Steve’s hand. The boys made eye contact and Steve melted at the trust in Eddie’s eyes.

“Don’t worry Eds. I’ll be right over there next to your uncle, and I’ll come right back over if you ask. Doctor be damned.” He said not taking his eyes off him. “No offense Dr. Kate.” He said towards the doctor. She just laughed. That seemed to reassure Eddie that Dr. Kate could be trusted. He finally let go of Steve’s hand and allowed him to step back. Dr. Kate pulled out a flashlight and went through a few questions. Other than the few seconds the light was in his eyes, Eddie kept Steve in his sights. He always felt safer with Steve.

Steve never took his eyes off Eddie, making sure he knew he was there for him. Wayne looked between the boys who only had eyes for each other. He smiled to himself, but was a bit worried about the doc. If she noticed the boys, she didn’t say anything.

“You have a moderate concussion. Do you feel a bit foggy?” She asked. Eddie nodded. “I thought so. Don’t worry, that’s normal. The wound on your head needed ten stitches, there are a few scrapes that needed some cleaning, and your right shoulder is sprained. You have several bruises, but nothing too bad.” After she was done with her physical exam, she grabbed a stool and sat next to Eddie. “You were asleep due to blood loss from the head wound, plus the sedation we had to use when you woke up agitated.” She took a deep breath. “Eddie, can you tell me what happened?” She asked gently. Eddie shook his head. “You don’t remember what happened or you don’t want to talk about it?” She asked. The distinction was very important. Eddie couldn’t speak so he held up two fingers, indicating the second thing she said. “Okay Eddie.” She gently grabbed his hand. “Can you look at me please?” He made eye contact with her. She gestured to her coat and pulled open the collar. Inside was a small rainbow pin. Eddie relaxed a bit.

“Steve?” He called. Steve came over right away and Eddie grabbed his hand. “I was at The Hideaway, and I danced with some people. Afterwards, some men followed me outside and they tried to” he trailed off. Steve squeezed his hand and Eddie took a deep breath. “Tried to hurt me, I didn’t know what to do it was five on one. I tried to fight them, but I couldn’t. One of them grabbed me by the throat, the others laughed.” He stopped again. His eyes were far away like he was lost in the memories.

“Hey,” Steve said softly. “Stay here, Eddie.” Eddie nodded as his eyes cleared. He went on to explain to the doctor all that he could remember.

“I was scared.” He whispered. Unable to hold them back anymore, tears rolled down his face. “Terrified. I figured they’d kill me before they let me go. That’s when Steve showed up.” He took a harsh breath. “I was going to let them.” The shame swept through him again. Red hot and ice cold. He pulled his hand from Steve’s and buried his face in them. “I was going to let them just take...take what they wanted so they’d leave faster.” Sobs shook his body, loud and horrid. Dr. Kate set her hand gently on his arm. Despite the soft touch, Eddie still jumped about a foot. “If I hadn’t danced with them-” At that Dr. Kate shushed him.

“Hey, this is not your fault, sweetie. At all okay?” She reminded Eddie of Joyce. “You’re the victim here.” She reassured. Eddie’s lip wobbled before he launched himself into her arms. She held him, rubbing her hand up and down his back, and rocked slowly back and forth. “Shhh”she whispered as she did her best to soothe the boy. Eddie held on tight until his eyes dried. He didn’t move just yet.

“Thank you. No one’s ever said that to me before.” He said, muffled into her shoulder. She didn’t like the sound of that.

“Has something like this happened before Eddie?” She asked quietly so only he would hear. He stiffened in her arms, but still held tight. He made a noise in affirmation. She didn’t know what to say to that, so she asked a question instead. “Are you going to press charges?”

“I..don’t think so.” He admitted. He should, he knew he should, but the thought of going through all that when all he wanted to do was forget...no.

“If you choose to, I can help. But it is your choice.” She promised.

Normally, she wouldn’t stay with a patient this long, but Eddie wasn’t a typical patient. He may be 21, but he was still a child. A scared boy in need of comfort. She’d seen too many scared boys like him in her hospital and she’d be dammed if she’d abandon him when he needed her.

Finally he pulled back and thanked her shyly. Reassuring him that it was not a problem, she recommended he talk to a professional. “If you need help finding someone...safe” she said tapping her jacket. “I can give you a hand.” She gave his forehead a kiss before she left the room.

Eddie dropped his hands into his lap and fidgeted with his rings. Even though Dr. Kate was understanding, he still felt dirty. Like he was a used tissue. He felt the bed dip and saw Steve sitting on the edge. He held his hand palm side up on the bed, a silent invitation. One Eddie wasn’t ready to accept yet. Steve tried to catch his eye but he couldn’t meet them. “You can get the girls.” He said as he wrapped his arms around his torso.

Steve looked like he wanted to say something but thought better of it before he headed back to the lobby. Eddie watched him go then turned to his uncle.

Wayne saw the emptiness in his eyes and jumped up, immediately climbing back into the hospital bed with his nephew. Eddie curled up tight on Wayne’s lap, making himself as small as possible so he’d fit under his chin.

They stayed that way even as the door opened and Steve and the girls came in. Chrissy gasped and dashed towards the bed. With no hesitation, she climbed in with Eddie and Wayne laying her head on Eddie’s arm. “Hey Chris.” Eddie said as he pulled her into his side. “I’m alright.”

“What happened?” She asked. There was no point in asking if he was hurt, it was obvious.

When Eddie didn’t speak, she sat up. His eyes were closed, but the tears spilled out anyway. The sight made her own eyes tear up.

“Oh, Eds.” She whispered. He didn’t need to say anything. There was a throat cleared nearby and she glanced to the side to see that Robin and Steve came closer. She could tell Robin wanted to ask questions but she gave her a look and she backed off.

Robin put her hand on Eddie’s elbow and Steve held his other hand. Even though he was broken, Eddie was surrounded by love. He was so grateful. “Thank you.” He whispered.

__________

Eddie was discharged on Tuesday. Steve rarely left his side for more than a few minutes the entire time.

The longest was the hour talk he had with the hospital therapist. With everything he’d been through, she recommended he start going regularly. When he mentioned he lived in Hawkins, she grimaced and offered to be his therapist as long as he didn’t mind driving to Indy every few weeks. He agreed and they scheduled an appointment.

For the most part, Eddie was out of it, staring blankly at the wall. He forced himself to eat and talk when he was talked to, but he didn’t start conversations. As he was wheeled out to Wayne’s truck, he finally spoke up. “What about my van?” He asked. Steve agreed to drop Chrissy and Robin off at his van so they could bring it home. The plan was to meet back up at the trailer for lunch. Wayne insisted to thank his friends for being there for him.

Eddie was thankful for everyone, he was, but he hated himself for putting himself into the situation. He needed time to be alone. He just wasn’t sure what he’d have to say to Steve to get it.

He appreciates Steve. Really he does. But he doesn’t think he can tell Steve the truth.

Lunch was...to be frank Eddie didn’t’ remember much of lunch. The girls and Steve met them at the trailer, everyone laughed and joked and did their best to pretend like Eddie hadn’t just been in the hospital. It was harder than he expected to participate. He tried to play it off like he was just tired, but the drugs wore off and he remembered more of that night.

He hated himself for not being more aware of his surroundings, of just dancing with whoever without thinking. He hated himself more than anything that he went alone and didn’t tell anyone where he was...he was so lucky Steve was nearby. He wanted to thank him but he was so embarrassed and he didn’t want Steve’s pity.

By the time everyone was leaving, Eddie was exhausted. “Do you want me to stay the night Eds?” Chrissy asked. It was something they’d done before to help with the nightmares. He looked at her big eyes and wanted to say yes. He really did. But he shook his head anyway before waving goodbye to them all and locking himself in his room.

He lay awake that night, lost in the memories he’d rather forget.

____________

A week later, Eddie visited Steve at family video. It was the first time he’d left the house since the incident has he’d come to call it. It wasn’t unusual, visiting Steve, after everything with Carver and especially after the club...Eddie needed to feel safe and Steve was his safety.

“Do you want to come over tonight, we can watch one of the Star Wars.” Steve suggested as he restocked the shelves.

“Sure. But not the third one.” Eddie sighed. They watched it every time because…

“But that one has the teddy bears!” Steve and Eddie said together. Eddie more teasingly than Steve’s indignation. Steve laughed but before he could say anything else, the bell above the door rang.

“Be right with you!” Steve called. He quickly laid down the tapes in his hands and went to the front, with Eddie not far behind. But the person behind the counter made Eddie’s bones chill.

Billy Hargrove stood cockily with his hip popped against the counter. Eddie ducked behind the shelf nearest him, hoping he hadn’t been spotted.

“What can I get you, Hargrove?” Steve sighed. Billy sneered in distaste.

“Heard you were friends with Munson.” Eddie’s breath caught. Oh, god. Why was Billy asking about him?

“And if I am?” Steve answered, voice low. Billy just huffed a laugh.

“I heard he got into some trouble, just wanted to make sure he’s okay.” Billy laid the charm on thick. Eddie swallowed against the bile in his throat. That dick didn’t care about him, he must want something.

“He’s fine.” Steve reassured coldly, doing his level best not to glance in Eddie’s direction. Steve didn’t know exactly what was going on, but the fact that Eddie hid from the man, told him it was better to keep them apart.

“Well, tell him I’m looking for him. For old time’s sake.” Billy laughed as he exited the video store. Steve followed him to the door, locked it behind him, and flipped the open sign to closed.

“He’s gone, Eds.” Steve called as he calmly walked toward Eddie’s cowering form. “You’re safe.” Eddie sagged against the shelves, tucked his knees up to his chest, and sobbed into his knees.

“He’s never going to leave me alone, is he?” He whispered. Steve sat next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

“What’s he want from you, anyway?” Steve asked. Eddie sighed. He should really tell someone, and Steve was safe. He felt safe.

“You promise you won’t tell anyone?” Eddie plead.

“I promise.” Steve said. “Do you want to go to my house?” He offered. Eddie shook his head violently.

“It’s happened at your house.” He admitted. “I’ve never told anyone but Wayne this.”

“Take your time.” Steve said softly, his hand began rubbing soft circles into Eddie’s shoulder.

“Do you remember that night in the alley? When I said not again?” Eddie began. At Steve’s nod, he continued. “It started with Billy. It’s actually one of the reasons I stopped selling.”

“Wait, is this about you getting paid for sex?” Steve asked shocked. He’d heard the rumors, everyone had. But he didn’t really believe them. Eddie sobbed harshly as tears spilled freely down his cheeks.

“I didn’t want to.” Eddie whispered. “And not in the ‘oh god I have to do this to survive’ kind of way. But, in the…” He paused. Steve rubbed his back which helped him calm down. “I met Billy in the woods for a deal and asked me if I’d accept sex instead of money for weed. I said no. He asked if he could pay me for it instead. I said no again. But he didn’t like that.” His eyes glazed over, as he got lost in the memories.

“Eds?” Steve whispered pulling him back to the present. Eddie sighed.

“He grabbed me, held me against a tree. Took what he wanted. It hurt a lot, I bled some. Then he tucked $20 into my pocket and walked away. Left me there with my fucking pants down.” Eddie wiped his eyes and leaned his head back.

“I’m so sorry.” Steve whispered.

“I took the money. We needed it. I never said anything about it to anyone except Wayne. Didn’t bother going to the hospital, no one would’ve believed that I didn’t want it. I refused to sell to him for a while. But, he cornered me one day, told me if I didn’t give him what he wanted, he’d take it out on Gareth.” Eddie choked out. He turned to Steve and held tightly to his hands, imploring him to understand. “I couldn’t let Billy hurt him. So, I let him do whatever wanted to me. It wasn’t so bad, after a while. I learned how to just shut it all out. Pretend I was somewhere else.”

Steve sat horrified on Eddie’s behalf. He never should have gone through this, never should have been put in this position.

“Eddie…” Steve sighed. He didn’t know what to say.

“It got worse after he told Tommy.” Eddie whispered. “The two of them would come to deals together or separate but, they both...It was the prom after party at your house in ‘83. I didn’t want to go but, I needed the money. Tommy and Billy, locked me in the laundry room with them and...you know.” Eddie mumbled.

“Oh, god. Eddie. I’m so sorry.” Steve said emphatically. “If I had known, I would have put a stop to it.” Steve felt sick. He saw Eddie stumble out of the laundry room that night, looking broken and Steve thought maybe he just got too fucked up on his own supply. But now, knowing what he knew he wanted to break something.

“It’s not your fault Steve.” Eddie promised. “After they graduated, it was easier to avoid them. I stopped dealing, got a job at the mechanic’s so I would be harder to corner. Tommy and Billy moved away for school and I haven’t seen them since.” He shrugged even as he barely breathed. “I guess Billy’s back or he heard from Tommy what happened...I don’t know.” He curled up even tighter.

“Listen to me. I am not going to let anything happen to you again.” Steve said determinedly. “No one will lay a hand on you like that again.” Eddie stared hard at Steve’s face, looking for any hesitance but he didn’t see any. He saw something he couldn’t name, a fondness he’d seen on the other man’s face a few times.

“Promise?” Eddie asked.

“I promise.” Steve swore.

_____________

Steve made good on that promise not even a day later. Eddie, Chrissy, Robin, and Steve were spending the day at the trailer; with Eddie’s permission, Steve had filled the girls in on the club and the events that led to his rough time at the video store. Eddie would have been embarrassed but unfortunately it was a story the girls were all too familiar with.

Steve gazed at Eddie fondly as he talked with the girls. A movie played softly as they talked, doing there best to keep Eddie’s mind off everything, when a familiar Camero pulled up outside.

“I’ll take care of this.” Steve said as he stepped outside to stand guard on the Munson’s porch. The three people left inside peaked through the window to watch the confrontation.

“Is that you, Harrington?” Billy scoffed. Steve sighed and nodded.

“Yeah, it’s me. Don’t cream your pants.” Steve put his hands in his pockets calmly. Billy slammed the car door and Eddie flinched back from the window. His hands started shaking but he couldn’t stop.

“Munson home?” He asked.

“Why you asking?” Steve glared. Billy stepped up the porch steps until he was toe to toe with Steve.

“I just want to say hi.” He scoffed. Steve put two fingers against the other man’s chest and pushed lightly.

“He’s not home.” Steve said pointedly. Billy snorted and his eyes clicked to the window behind Steve’s head.

“I can see him in the window.” Steve swore under his breath.

“Just leave him alone.” Steve implored. Billy glared, reared a fist back, and slammed it into Steve’s nose knocking him back a few stumbling steps. He shouldered past and burst through the door.

Eddie gasped and back up a few steps until his back hit the wall. Chrissy and Robin stepped in front of him, but Billy was too strong for them to hold back and they fell to the floor.

“Leave me alone, Billy. I mean it.” Eddie spit out between gritted teeth. Billy smirked as he stalked forward. Before he could close in, Steve came up behind him in a tackle taking them both to the ground.

As they grappled, Eddie ran to his room and grabbed Steve’s nail bat. When he got back, Billy was straddling Steve, wailing on his face as the girls tried to pull him off. With a roar, Eddie swung the bat into Billy’s arm tearing into the muscle fiber. Billy screamed in a weird pleasure/pain and turned to glare at Eddie.

“Leave me alone!” He screamed again as he raised the bat. Steve rolled into Billy’s legs sending him to the ground again. Eddie swung the bat down between Billy’s legs and glared at the man.

“If I ever hear from you again, I’ll cut off your balls.” He growled. “Got it?” Billy sighed but Eddie lifted the bat and aimed it at his crotch. “Got it?!” He shouted.

“Got it.” Billy sighed. Steve watched Eddie in awe; the lights from the trailer shone behind him like a halo and he looked so strong and regal. It wasn’t the time, but Steve thought he looked beautiful.

“You better call your friend Tommy and tell him the same goes for him. Now get the fuck out of my trailer.” Eddie said as he stepped back, still holding a defensive position. Billy groaned but rolled to his feet and shuffled awkwardly out of the home, tail tucked between his legs.

Eddie didn’t relax until he heard the Camero pull away but even then, it was Steve pulling the bat from his grip that allowed him to crumble. Steve held him closely, keeping him safe.

“Did I just do that?” He asked in awe of himself.

“You did it, Eddie.” Steve whispered. Robin held him tightly on the other side.

“I just did that.” He laughed and started crying happily. The shame he felt at letting it happen before seemed to lift as he finally found the courage to stand up for himself.

“I doubt you’ll ever hear from either of them again.” Chrissy said as she too joined the hug.

“I’m free.” He sobbed.

“You’re free.” Steve whispered. Eddie held tightly to his arm.

“I’m safe.” He said as he laughed some more. “Thank you, Stevie. For keeping me safe.” He said to the man.

“You saved yourself.” Steve implored. Eddie smiled.

“I guess I did.”

tags

@katyawriteswhump

buy me a coffee

17 notes · View notes

ao3feed-18trip · 2 months ago

Text

la campanella suona perforando i miei orecchi

by Anonymous

kinari deattaches kuguris prosthetics, in a slow, painful process.

spoilers for kuguri novel, heed the tags

can be read as platonic or romantic kugunari except its not much of them

Words: 869, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: 18TRIP (Video Game)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: M/M

Characters: Domeki Kuguri, Azekawa Kinari

Relationships: azekawa kinari & domeki kuguri, frederick/domeki kuguri, solomon/domeki kuguri

Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, spoilers for kuguri novel, kuguri centered, Character Study, Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Violence, Flashbacks, the mild part is the comfort

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #18trip fanfic #18trip #18trip fanfiction #eitori #エイトリ #18trip ao3 #ao3 #kuguri domeki #kinari azekawa #frederick (18trip)#solomon (18trip)#tw implied/referenced rape/non-con

1 note · View note

angelsberrymilk · 1 month ago

Note

Sam can't sleep, so he leaves the motel room he's sharing with Soldier Boy to get a drink from a nearby soda machine, but while he's gone Ben wakes up from a nightmare and freaks out over not seeing his Sammy in the next bed.

thanks so much for the request. hope you'll like it! <3

soldier boy x sam winchester (samboy)

1.6k words

tw: Canon-Typical Violence, Recreational Drug Use, Night Terrors, Sam Winchester is Not Okay, Not Beta Read, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Threats of Violence, Soldier Boy Has PTSD (The Boys), Depression, Rare Pairings, Crossover, Dimension Travel

ao3 link

Sam couldn't sleep. He misses his brother and misses home.

The motel room feels a little familiar, the scratchy sheets and the old AC rattling away keeping the worst of his thoughts at bay. But the lack of his brother's snoring next to him was unnerving. Soldier Boy sleeps different. He's either moving around, trying to fight off imaginary enemies, talking to himself, or sleeping so still you'd think he was dead.

Sam really tried to rest, because he knew the road ahead of them in the morning was long. They had to keep moving, after all, Soldier Boy was not meant to be out in the world, his escape was purely meant to aide in the destruction of another Supe, Homelander, a tyrant who happened to be his biological son, built in a lab using his sperm. Soldier Boy barely remembers what happened, all he can really remember is the bloodshed and the utter chaos of it all. Soldier Boy doesn't care about Homelander, doesn't care about The Boys or their little mission, that's why he eventually decided to fuck off and get away from them, or maybe they left him, who knows, he was high off his mind on at least 10 different drugs half of the time.

So there they were, in a shitty motel, sharing a room, Sam trying to go to sleep while Soldier Boy begged someone to stop in his dreams.

Sam's heart twists in his chest at the man's scratchy voice, deep in slumber, he feels a pull to go and help, but he knows he can't, if he gets close, he may lose an eye. Soldier Boy is already unpredictable awake, so it's even worse when he's sleeping.

When he can't take it anymore he throws the sheets off himself and leaves the room, slowly closing the door behind him, trying not to wake the man up in the other bed.

Sam breathes in the mild air, the sound of buzzing could be heard coming from the streetlight over. The parking lot was half full and nobody was out. It was quiet, and peaceful, if you ignored the sound of blaring sirens in the distance.

Sam dug his hands in his pockets and started walking, he followed the numbered doors, without a goal or direction in mind. He just needed to walk, stretch his legs and get away from the pleas of help, coming out of the mouth of a man with his brother's face, he had his voice too, sometimes, if not deeper. And Sammy can't take it when he's hearing Dean beg and beg while he's just sitting there.

He knows his brother, knows how much he must be suffering right now. He knows he must be flipping the world on its head to try and find him. He knows that he must be hurting, he must be guilty too, angry at himself. Sam wishes he wasn't that close to his brother, he wishes they were raised different, that they weren't so fucked up, that just the thought of one of them dying sends the other in a spiral. He wishes he didn't matter.

Sam spots the vending machine then, white and red, glowing in the darkness of the very early morning. He contemplates walking on, going around the whole motel and go back to bed. But then his throat itches and he coughs, realising it was dry and he needed to drink something. Sam takes out a wrinkly bill and stands in front of the machine, the light illuminating his tired face as he looks over at the options.

Sam goes for the cream soda can. The machine eats his bill and he presses a button, the thing whirring and finally dropping so he can stick his hand inside the mouth of the machine and take it out. Sam turns around and leans his back on it, feeling the cool glass through his thin t-shirt.

He cracks the can open, soda bubbling right to the top, Sam quickly licking at the foam so it won't spill over his fingers. Taking a big sip, he hums, letting the sugary fizzy drink sit in his mouth, he closes his eyes, sees Dean behind his eyelids, sees his freckles, his spiky hair, bright green eyes and his rosy pink lips. He's skinnier, younger, prettier too. He's arguing with Sam, about what they should get from the machine, they're also fighting over who gets to put money in. Sammy's shorter, hair softer, longer, he's whining, he doesn't want to share with Dean, but Dean is telling him that's how it works, he gives him a taste and he'll return the favour.

When Sammy opens his eyes, he swallows, and he feels the drink go down his throat and settle in his stomach, it's a weird, comforting feeling. He's still alive, he's still breathing, so there's still a chance he'll see his brother again.

Sam brings the can back to his lips for another sip when it's knocked out of his hands, he's pushed hard against the machine and before he knows it, he's staring into big green eyes.

"Where were you?" Soldier Boy looked shaken. His eyes were wide and his forehead was wet with sweat. He had his hands on Sam's collar, holding him tight against the vending machine. Sam stared at him with wide eyes, shoulders hunched. Ben's panting was loud in his ears, so was the buzzing of the machine at his back and the fizzing of the drink now coating the ground.

"Are you okay?" Sam whispers.

Soldier Boy holds on tighter, crowds him against the machine, their knees touching and breaths mingling, "Where did you go?" He hisses. And even though Sam knows he's trying to seem threatening, all Sam can see is a scared man, tormented by his nightmares.

"I was thirsty, I was just here," Sam answers.

Soldier Boy pants, trying to come up with something to say, something to do, but he couldn't. So his eyes keep flitting around, trying to find some sort of threat to neutralise until Sam takes pity on him and brings his hand up, trying to take his hands off his shirt. At first, Soldier Boy doesn't budge, "Ben, please-"

Then Soldier Boy does something he's never done before, "I'm not-"

"What?" Sam is getting worried here, his hands around Ben's, trying to meet his eyes now that he's shaking his head and trying to avoid eye contact.

"Don't call me that," He shudders, "Don't fucking call-"

His nostrils are flaring and his eyes are wet and red with unshed tears, he's shaking too and his chest is slowly starting to glow. Sam gulps, terrified of getting blasted to bits so he quickly complies, "Okay, I won't, I swear,"

"They took me, and said my name- I was frozen for 40 years-" SoldierBoy keeps going, riddled with PTSD and superhuman strength. The light in his chest is getting brighter and Sam is panicking, trying to figure out a way to get his hands off him, to calm his down, when it finally clicked.

"Dean?" Sam says and he sees how Ben's shoulders sagged and his breath faltered for a second, he sees his eyes glaze over, as if he's in another world, he sniffles and the light of his chest fades away and Sam lets out a sigh of relief.

"Say it again," Soldier Boy whispers and gets even closer, if that was even possible, nose to nose, head tilted up so he can meet the taller man. Sam can't see anything anymore with Soldier Boy this close, he sees his longer hair, green eyes and that's it.

"Dean," Sam says again, heart hammering in his chest because this was weird, this was fucked up and weird.

"Good," Soldier Boy hums, taking one hand off Sam's collar and brushing his hair back, patting Sam like Dean used to do when they were little. "Good boy," He praises him and Sammy feels thirsty. He start to mourn his cream soda, now sticky on the ground until his eyes land on the man's wet lips, after he's licked them.

"You're Sammy, my Sammy, and I'm Dean," Soldier Boy says it again, cupping one of his cheeks and Sam tries to fight off his terrified tears but fails, Soldier Boy shushes him as soon as it rolls down his cheek, catching it with his thumb. "Hey, don't cry, if you want to cry I'll give you something to cry about," Soldier Boy says and chuckles at the end, wet and weird.

A laugh escapes Sam, more anxious than amused, or anything else really, he feels out of his fucking mind. Soldier Boy keeps petting him like he was a dog until he leans down and presses a kiss to his mouth, Sam's eyes widen, trying to push him off but failing. Soldier Boy holds him tight, trapping him, and then Sam's world spins and he realises Soldier Boy is at his back now, his cheek pressed against the cool dirty glass of the vending machine. Sam's eyes squint at the lights inside of it, tries to get off it, but Soldier Boy is an immovable object. He presses close, not leaving an inch of space between them, grinding his half hard cock right against Sam's ass.

He panics, "Wait-"

Soldier Boy shushes him, and he feels shuffling behind him, he feels like he's about to vomit when he feels clammy fingers at his waistband.

"Wait, no-"

"Shut up, Sammy," Soldier Boy hums against his shoulder, he sounds drunk, out of it.

"No, Dean, Dean!-" Sam trashes against the glass, and the more he calls for Dean, the more pleasure Soldier Boy seems to get out of it. He thinks he's gotten Sam where he wants him, convinced him that he's the Dean he deserves, while Sam is crying for help, crying for his big brother to come and save him from the monster.

@klingyklaus @toasty-broski @28confusedthoughts @winchesterdefender @blackkmariah @106skin @redpopcat @arwenadreamer @nguyetdahuong @asongfortheunloved @rancidlovers @bcatwinchest @supfan67 @unabashedhonesty @hellfire-fist @nanacupid @arthrodira @loserluizard @jocelynfan @waywardsamdean @sastielbeltscene @sam-sinchester @masoena @winchestermylove @sammybeann @azrielrose @saltmonellas @boypussysam @monkibizznes @daddysboydean @notanotherthembo @i-already-know-im-going-2-hell @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis @katamcauley @sams-princess-hair @redcl8ver @yuetyin940 @loserluizard @arthrodira @runawaydr3amerao3 @giulmu @palepuppytimetravel @waynesmywife

61 notes · View notes

disguting-girl-reads · 8 months ago

Text

MY FAVORITE (LONG) FICS - Wincest Edition

I will not be placing them in any specific order. Also, a long-fic in my definition is anything above 50k words.

Pine Sweat by Goshen (applecrumbledore)

Sam watched Dean hack up firewood with his hatchet. The magically-induced heat wave had his shirt soaked with sweat.

“Did you ever have a, uh… experimental phase?” Sam smacked his lips, trying to think of a diplomatic way to phrase it. “That kid—by which I mean you—has been staring. At me. Kind of a lot.”

(Sam and Dean get sent back to 1996 and go on a hunt with their teenaged selves. The kids don't know who they are.)

This one is so sweet and funny and the plot is so good!! I usually don't go for time-travel stories, but that's a comfort one for me, I really love teenage Dean and Sam in this one.

10 chapters (105,324k words)

TW: Canon-Typical Violence, Animal Death (brief), Mild Gore (not many TW, that's a mostly wholesome one)

To Sound The Depths by Pendragony

Dean has always set aside his needs, repressing his instincts for the sake of Sam. Sometimes he thinks he doesn’t even know how to be an Omega any more. When the brothers pose as a couple to investigate a spate of drowned Alphas, Dean starts to get back in touch with his Omega self. But when the heat is on, will Dean still be able to protect Sam?

a fake dating ABO AU that I love so much. Fake dating for a case is one of my favorite plots in Wincest fics.

15 chapters (66,460k words)

TW: Slight Dub-Con, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Attempted Sexual Assault

Suave & Complicated by OldToadWoman

Sam and Dean discover a useful, little, magical artifact. No one is forcing them to do anything. No one is going to die if they don't. They don't even feel a strange compulsion. But… it would be really helpful if they powered up the magical stone… and… all they have to do is kiss.

This one is so damm funny. It seens almost like a crack-fic, but the plot is good, and the smut is still hot. Dean is so oblivious in this one, poor dumb thing lol

11 chapters (56,923k words)

TW: Canon-Typical Violence (it's just a really wholesome one)

The Truth In The Lie by flawedamythyst

Sam and Dean pretend to be gay lovers while they hunt a monster on a bus tour of Nova Scotia.

Another fake dating for a case. Also, that was the first wincest fic I've read!

13 chapters (62,264k words)

TW: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Canon-Typical Violence (only TW's is what usually already happens on the show, soooo)

Kill The Lights by silver9mm

Less than a minute had passed since Sam had killed the guard and then five more people. This man’s speech had lasted maybe twenty seconds, but Sam had been separated from Dean for three hundred and sixteen days and nine hours, which made the total time of his life without Dean nearly five complete years, and the thought of listening to this fucker talk for one more second instead of getting his brother and getting the fuck out was unendurable.

I think that's the darkest wincest fic I have read so far. This one wins the most-fucked-up-fic-award in this post. It's really hot, though, and I really enjoyed this one.

35 chapters (143k words)

TW: Extremely Dubious Consent,Rape/Non-con, Bad BDSM Etiquette (really bad guys, lol), Unhappy Ending, Implied Bestiality (really only implied, there's no graphic scenes)

#wincest #sam x dean #samdean #wincest fic #mina's fic recs

69 notes · View notes

call-me-medusa · 8 days ago

Text

rangerdanger's 9-1-1 fic masterlist (one year of writing for 9-1-1!!!!)

Enter Buck | G | 3.5k | link

Five times Eddie let his crew peek behind the curtain of his life and one time he had to slam the door open for them. Or, Hen & Chim don't know that Eddie's wife and his best friend Buck are the same person.

Guilty As Sin? | T | 7k | link

Eddie figures out his own sexuality and tries to work though his feelings about that, along with help from his best friend.

Press Conference | G | 2.6k | link

The fallout from the Friends to Fiancés trope.

Attitude of Gratitude | M | 10.5k | link

Five times Buck and TK helped each other through their addiction over the phone, and one time they celebrated.

TW: Addiction, Past Drug Use

Left Your Mark On Me, A (Strawberry) Tattoo | G | 2k | link

Eddie gifts Buck something a little sentimental for their engagement.

as you wish | G | 4.3k | link

The five times Eddie told Buck 'As you wish' and the one time Buck understood him.

we aren't then we are | G | 3.7k | link

Eddie and Buck know about their feelings for each other, but they aren't in any rush to get into a relationship. No one gets it but them.

til you're building a weapon | M | 5.5k | link

Eddie sees Buck's self-harm scars and they talk about it.

TW: Depression, Self-Injury, Implied/Referenced Suicide

The Word Wheel | T | 11.7 | link

Eddie learns how to use his words.

penance. | T | 16.5k | link

Eddie figures he can pay penance for being gay and the fallout that's happened because of it. Over a 24-hour shift, Bobby and Buck try to show him he's allowed to want the things he wants, and the universe doesn't care what he thinks he deserves.

the dreams you left neglected | T | 5.4k | link

Eddie gets a chance to talk to his younger self after Christopher left.

the second that never ends | T | 5.3k | link

Buck and Eddie share something during Chimney's bachelor party. They talk about it and have to make some hard choices about their relationships.

bed chem | E | 6.6k | link

The three times Buck and Eddie talked about sex before they (+1) had sex for the first time.

yeah! | E | 6.6k | link

Eddie and Buck didn't meet at the fire station. They met in WeHo, a few months after Eddie moved to LA.

i need to want something more | T | 9.8k | link

Christopher is gone, Eddie's in therapy, and Gerrard's in charge. It's a whirlwind, but at the end someone comes out, someone gets hurt, and things end up better than they was before.

(i needed saving) and a good mistake needed making | T | 6.3k | link

Buck and Eddie fall together at the most inopportune time. It doesn't help Eddie feel any better about himself.

ain't no saints here, baby | T | 5.6k | link

Buck and Eddie fall together at the most inopportune time. Eddie's just glad to have Buck- it's the only time he feels right.

your many sorceries | T | 9.8k | link

Buck gets struck by lightning. Eddie wants Buck to wake up from a coma so he can say the things he never said. Maddie thinks Eddie can do more to help Buck than he realizes.

eddie diaz and the amazing, awesome, very good day | M | 5.4k | link

Buck's doing nice things for Eddie and he doesn't understand why.

But it's not real | G | 2.2k | link

Buck drops Eddie off after their first date, and it might just make Eddie's heart explode.

when | M | 4.7k | link

Buck has depression, and Eddie knows. Him knowing doesn't help Buck ask for help at all.

TW: Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Injury, Implied/Referenced Suicide

Was I even on your way? | M | 3k | link

Or, Buck gets reminded of something that happened he'd rather forget.

TW: Past Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Rape Recovery

you'll find you again | E | 4.6k | link

Or, Eddie's learning how to want joy for himself

eddie diaz's gay awakening(s) | G | 3.3k | link

Or, Buck wasn’t Eddie’s gay awakening. He actually had about five gay awakenings, now that he thinks about it.

#buddie #buddie fic #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 abc #911 fic #my 9-1-1 fic #rangerdanger ao3 #my 911 posts #911 fox #ao3 #buddie ao3 #my ao3

40 notes · View notes

ghostf1ux · 3 months ago

Text

Aftershocks

Day 2: Holding Back Tears

Word Count: 5.5k

TW/CWs: Discussion of and implied/referenced rape/non-con

Part 1 || Part 2 (here)

-------------------------------------------------------

When Alice had been taken, she'd been angry and scared.

Angry, because she'd been stupid enough to get grabbed off the streets of Crime Alley.

Scared, because despite the work Rojo had been doing for years, she could never shake off those trust issues burned into her bones by living on the streets, and she didn't know if he would find her. Scared, because if he didn't find her fast enough, she knew she'd never be able to come back.

Scared, because despite being only nine years old, she was the oldest kid locked in this warehouse, from what she could tell. Which meant she had to be the strong one, protect the others.

It's what Rojo would do.

So that's what she did.

Even with the ropes burning her wrists with the tightness, even with the shitty bundle of cloth shoved in her mouth and kept there with a haphazardly slapped on piece of duct tape, she kept the others calm. She let the younger ones cuddle up to her, too sympathetic of their too-skinny, shivering forms to do anything else.

It took an hour, she thinks. Maybe two.

When the first man standing along the edges of the warehouse disappeared into the darkness, she smiles and motions for all the kids to close their eyes. Rojo always told them if they got in a situation like this, that once he got there, to close their eyes.

She knew why he always told them that. She's not stupid, and she's not naive, either.

Which is the reason why she keeps her eyes open, and the reason she herds everyone into the furthest corner of the cage they're all in when the guys keeping them there get distracted by seeing their friends get picked off one by one, seemingly by a shadow.

A few gunshots later she sees Rojo jump down from the rafters, a whirl of red and black so fast she can barely make out what he's doing before all the guys are quiet on the ground.

Then he's picking the lock of the cage open, Alice being the first to approach him with a pointed glance down at the gag. A little buzzing, staticky sound comes through his helmet, a sound she's familiar enough with by now to know it's a disbelieving chuckle.

“Are any of you hurt?” He asks first, head tilting towards the others to glance over them before returning his gaze to Alice's.

“Just some cuts, scrapes, malnourishment, and dehydration,” Alice responds. She rubs her wrists after he cuts the rope off, then moves to help the others up. “You can open your eyes now, it's okay, we're safe.”

“Rojo!” One of the kids exclaims, a five year old if Alice had to guess. He runs over to the crimelord-slash-vigilante, beaming brightly. “You came!”

“Of course I did, Alex. Promised I would. Sorry I took so long.” Rojo helps the rest of the kids out, getting their varied restraints off as he goes. “You all have safe places to go?”

A vague chorus of affirmatives meets his question, accompanied by a few negatives. The vigilante nods, turning to Alice.

“Can you take the little ones to the safehouse? I'll make sure they get home once I've wrapped this up.”

“You got it, boss.” Alice salutes seriously, sticking her tongue out at him when he ruffles her hair in response.

He watches the warehouse door while Alice gathers everyone up, and walks with them out the back way. As soon as Alice turns around to guide the younger ones, he disappears from view. She knows better than to think he isn't continuing to watch them, make sure they get out of the area safely, but even in spite of that she still tries to find him in the shadows of the building.

She's unsuccessful.

Turning away, she resigns herself to seeing some of the kids off and taking the ones who don't have a safe place to go to the closest of Rojo's shared safehouses, which are actually just apartments he's in charge of that he keeps stocked for kids that need a temporary place to stay. It's a long walk, but not too long. It takes them thirty minutes at a brisk walk to get there.

Alice gets the younger children settled in, fed, and hydrated, before resigning herself to staying up to keep watch while they sleep.

Thirty minutes pass.

Then forty-five.

Then an hour.

Alice's gut twists into something like dread when there's still no sign of Rojo's appearance. Dealing with the bad guys at the warehouse shouldn't be taking nearly this long.

She glances between the room housing the three small children and the window.

She hesitates.

She lifts the window glass as gently as possible before speed-walking back to the warehouse, switchblade clutched in her hand. Just in case.

A dark van comes driving around the corner and Alice leaps behind the closest hiding spot, holding her breath and flicking the blade out. The van meanders past, not slow enough to be looking for victims, just a little faster than the average car would be driving.

But it came from the direction of the warehouse.

Something niggles in the back of her mind, telling her this is important. As soon as the van passes her, she peeks over the edge of the dumpster to get a glimpse of the license plate. In the darkness she can make out the first couple symbols, but the shadows make it impossible to see the rest.

Repeating the letters over in her head like a mantra, she decides to forego subtlety and sprint the rest of the way to the warehouse once the van is out of sight.

When she gets there it's quiet. Silent. It crawls across her skin, but she steels herself, readies her blade, and pushes carefully through the back door into the warehouse.

Contrary to when Alice left, it's barren. The cage is still there, but the bodies Rojo left behind are gone, not even the drops and small pools of blood that should still be here from the fight before are left. It's like the whole place was wiped clean and nothing ever happened.

Even the cage is pushed back further into the shadows of the random crates, shitty tarps left half draped over them.

“Rojo? You here?” Alice calls out tentatively, looking around slowly. Only her own echoing voice answers her, before fizzling out.

Again, quiet. Way too quiet. Empty-quiet.

Walking forward slowly, she sticks near the edges of the crates lining the walls as she scans the rest of the room for anything.

The clatter of something sliding against concrete makes Alice flinch in surprise, whirling around towards the source of the noise. Her breathing is heavy with anticipation– eyes wide as she searches for the sound.

She freezes when she sees the gun on the ground. It wasn't there before. Slowly, the blade lowers as she takes it in. It's big, and dark, with slightly glowing red accents and details on it. Special attachments are fitted to it. When she gently picks it up and flicks the safety back on, it's a lot heavier than it looks.

This is a very specific gun Alice has only ever seen one person wield.

This is Rojo's gun.

He isn't here.

She (safely) clutches the gun to her chest, running out the door to see the tire tracks in the slightly muddy front road.

Something went wrong.

They took him.

And she's the only one who knows.

------------------------

Dick groans dramatically as Tim continues rambling over the comm line in his ear, swerving around a car going too slow for his taste.

“Baby bird, I don't need you to re-explain the reason I shouldn't just eat sugary cereal for breakfast. I am aware of the nutrient factors and whatever and I've decided that I deserve that treat in my life,” Dick argues cheerily, a grin plastered across his face. He can hear Tim's exasperated eye roll, despite the fact that it's silent. It's about vibes.

“Okay, but you shouldn't also have it for dinner,” Tim sighs tiredly, like he's had this argument several times before. That's because he has. Dick doesn't know why he keeps trying.

“Maybe you just need a little more joy and whimsy in your life.” Dick shrugs, working the stray strand of hair stuck on the edge of his domino out of it. Tim mocks him in the very little-brotherly way he picked up from Jason as they speed down the main border street next to the Bowery, heading towards Crime Alley and then Bristol.

“Whatever. When you keel over because you've had too much sugar, don't come crying to me– fUCKING CHRIST–”

Both vigilantes startle when a kid runs out of the Alley and into the street just ahead of them– tires skidding loudly on the asphalt as they have to swerve opposite ways to miss her, just barely not crashing their bikes.

Dick breathes out a heavy sigh, before hopping off his bike to face the kid. “Hey, that's pretty dangerous, maybe look both ways before you–”

“You have to help him!” The girl cries, running up to Dick with wide, scared eyes. She's heaving for breath and keeping something tucked close to her chest, hidden under her jacket. He crouches down to her level just as Tim jogs over, looking a little wary and confused.

“Help who?” Dick rests his elbows on his knees, looking up at the– she's gotta be less than ten years old– girl. She unfurls her jacket and hands him something metal and heavy and handle first– a gun. A very recognizable gun.

“Rojo saved us and then he didn't come back,” she explains, wiping her eyes with her sleeve furiously as she tries to catch her breath. “They took him– there– there was a van leaving the warehouse. When he didn't come back I went to look for him because he always makes sure everyone gets home and it had been too long and–”

“Hey, hey, easy, we'll find him,” Dick assures her, ignoring the spike of anxiety in his stomach in favor of handing the custom black and red Jericho 941 off to Tim, who's speaking lowly into his comm. “Can you show me which warehouse it was?”

------------------------

When Dick and Tim get there to investigate, it's both worrying and disappointing. Between the distinct lack of evidence, the partial plate they were able to get from Alice before sending her to Jason's community safehouse, and the lack of cameras in Crime Alley that make tracking the van impossible, it wasn't looking good.

Oracle managed to remotely activate the tracker on his helmet, but it was just a decoy location that served to throw the Bats off the tail. All they found was his mask and domino, in perfect condition, sitting on a table in a nondescript basement under a shady looking store that was probably a front for money laundering. No note, no ransom, nothing. They just took him and left without a trace.

That fact only made Dick's anxiety about the whole situation worse.

It took hours before they found anything. They had to resort to locating all of Jason's known enemies, then figure out which ones had the means to pull this off, then deduce who would actually have the balls to try it.

His list of enemies is long.

Thankfully, most are dead or out of commission, making the process of going down the list a whole lot quicker. Between everyone who had access to anything, they were able to narrow down the list to a few handfuls of people.

That being said, all of them either couldn't have done it or wouldn't have done it.

Which, again, leaves them with nothing.

And then Tim had recognized one of the mob names from a case he was working on after Jason had supposedly dismantled them. Looking further into it, it seemed he only killed the leader before having to get out before finishing the job, for whatever reason. A quick call to Talia tells them that it went down during the time he had been on the run from the League, and that the mob was under Ra's’ control at the time. After that, the mob, located in Russia, had gone dark. Intel said the main compound was blown to smithereens and not a soul survived it.

She also informed them of the nature of many of the members of this mob. It was possible one of the members’ meta abilities had led them to survive.

After that, they took to investigating each known member of the mob that had been there, narrowed it down to the metas, and then scoured every source of intel they had for those names and faces.

Thankfully, it wasn't too long of a list, and they managed to get a couple hits. None had been spotted anywhere near Gotham in recent time, but there was one who hadn't been spotted anywhere in the past couple weeks.

Following the money trail from him was done easily enough, and then they were able to find the transport Jason had been taken in.

It was at this point Dick and Tim headed back out in the vaguely same direction the mobsters were going while Babs combed through what footage she could find to track them down.

Eventually, they found the location. In a grand total of six and a half hours, give or take, they finally found Jason.

Hopefully.

There were no guards posted outside the derelict house, but that really doesn't mean anything, besides the fact that they have some vague amount of intellect. They circle around to the back, starting on the second floor.

Sneaking through the window proves to be the best plan when they're able to soundlessly take out the few armed guards up there. Immediately they notice the unnatural cold that persists within the building, chilling them to the bone despite the very-much-not-winter-weather outside.

Within the next minutes, the brothers are systematically taking out each goon one by one.

At least, until they get to the hallway to the basement.

It's heavily guarded, five different men standing outside it. They all carry weapons, though some have been flying carelessly to the side. Blunt weapons with little splashes of blood, from what Dick can tell through the night vision of his domino lenses.

Silently, he gives Tim a countdown before rolling a smoke pellet into the room and flinging himself in as soon as it goes off. The smaller vigilante is right behind, covering Dick's back while he flips and sounds between the men in the cramped space. He doesn't even bother trying to spare them the trip to the hospital, not when his little brother's life is on the line.

As soon as they're all knocked out cold, Dick throws the basement door open, rushes down the stairs, and throws the (much more expensive and way heavier) second door open as well.

He freezes, eyes widening and blood running cold while he tries to take in the scene in front of him.

Immediately, his eyes lock on Jason.

Jason, who’s hanging from his wrists, blood cascading down his arms from whatever wounds are beneath the cuffs.

Jason, who’s trembling and shaking erratically and involuntarily, broken little sounds he’d never make in a million years slipping between his lips.

Jason, who’s been stripped of everything except his pants, who’s injuries are on clear display to anyone that so much as glances at him, blood pooling around his feet.

Jason, who’s covered in so many scratches that are closer to gouges that ooze blood in steady streams, marks that lead to the burned in handprints and fucking bite marks across his waist, his chest, his arms, his shoulders, his fucking neck–

The man holding Jason– his brother, his fucking little brother– is barely a blur of a figure behind his little brother. Dick doesn’t see, doesn’t process anything past the sight of Jason’s twitching and squirming, his own body fighting him as little orange sparks of electricity dance over the surface of his skin. They’re barely visible, but Dick can still make them out, make out the little involuntary flinches when one of the bolts touches a hidden injury under his skin.

At some point, Tim pushes into the room behind him. The guy who has Jason shifts his grip from his hips– a placement that makes Dick’s skin crawl and his rage spike, hands shaking with the effort of holding himself back– to grabbing Jason’s hair and yanking his head back, holding a wicked-looking knife to his throat. Tim falters, and Dick can feel the way he glances at him for help but all Dick sees is the arc of electricity get bigger– stronger–

And then Jason cries– sobs, his voice hoarse and broken and in so, so much agony.

Dick’s will, his fraying thread of self restraint in the delicate situation, snaps.

In the next moment he’s flying across the room, ripping the knife out of the man’s hand and stabbing it through his wrist– the one holding Jason back by his hair. He screams, or, at least, Dick thinks he does. He doesn’t really know.

Not when his fists are pummelling into the guy’s face, his ribs, anywhere he can hit to cause damage, to cause pain.

Not when he can feel those phantom hands tracing over his own body, an all-too vivid memory of rain pattering against his face.

Not when the guy is unconscious on the ground and Dick keeps going, because his rage burns hot and fiery in his veins and he can’t seem to actually see the face below him.

Not when he can hear her words echoing in his ears, panic and disgust twisting painfully in his stomach as his own body is helpless to push her off, to push her away, to do anything to stop it, to get away–

“–ing! Hold him up, I need to get the shackles off.”

Dick blinks and he can finally see the mess of the man below him, barely breathing. He blinks again, turning his gaze up to Tim, who’s holding his shoulders and meeting his gaze with a strange, panicked and worried intensity he never lets show in the field unless someone is gravely injured. He points back to Jason with his words, who’s gone completely limp despite the clear pain it causes him. His first little brother breathes out a slow, stuttered, despaired keen, muscles twitching under his skin as if he wants to reach out towards them. His shaking– shivering, rather– is so violent and painful it makes Dick choke out a sound somewhere between a gasp and a sob, scrambling away from the body to get to Jason.

Quick fingers take care of the blindfold, but all it reveals is tear-streaked closed eyes, squeezed so tight it has to be in reflex to the pain. Then he’s carefully, gently embracing and lifting him, mindful of the injuries he can see and feel beneath Jason’s skin. He flinches despite it, another whimper accompanying the action. Dick can feel his breathing– already fluttery, erratic, and painful just to listen to– speed up dramatically, but Dick just shushes him calmly, combing his fingers through his little brother’s hair as Jason coughs weakly.

“Shh, shh, I’ve got you, we’ve got you, little wing, it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay, you’re safe now,” Dick murmurs, trying to keep his anger and panic and worry out of his voice in some attempt to be comforting. He’s usually so much better at this, having been doing it since he was nine years old and working the streets as Robin, but when it comes to family…

A few tense moments pass while Tim works diligently on the best way to get the cuffs off before Jason weakly– so weakly– tucks his face into the crook of Dick’s neck with a shuddering breath thick with tears he doesn’t have the strength to shed. He smooths his free hand through Jason’s hair, smoothing the sweat-soaked locks out of his face.

“Fucking piece of shit put fucking prongs in these cuffs just to torture him a little more– I swear to god if he isn’t already dead he fucking will be–”

Dick glances up at Tim with a pointed look, the boy just giving him a deadpan stare in response once he notices Dick’s look.

“I’m not calling an ambulance for him. I don’t care about B’s rule,” Tim snaps quietly, mindful of how his volume makes Jason react. Dick raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything in response. He watches Tim as he unlocks the first cuff, noticing the high-strung tension in his body, the slightly jerky movements that are usually fluid and smooth, the way his brow is furrowed in concentration when he’s trying to focus on one thought instead of the unwanted ones trying to flying through his head.

Why does it seem like this is personal for him? Past it just being their family.

Personal in the same way it’s personal for Dick.

He subconsciously tightens his grip on Jason when the idea crosses his mind, gut twisting. Surely Tim wasn’t–?

No.

Right?

But then, Tim was never one to share with them, especially in a family as emotionally repressed as this one, where it always seemed weakness wasn’t an option (thanks for that mentality, B). It’s possible he could’ve just not told them… god knows Dick doesn’t, hasn’t.

Fuck.

Dick startles out of his train of thought when Jason’s second wrist is released and he sags bonelessly into his chest, briefly tensing, twitching and spasming, before going limp again. Dick nods to Tim to help him carry Jason up the stairs, which is done quickly and gently as possible. There’s no furniture Dick wants to touch with a ten foot pole, so they just lay Jason down on the ground, head pillowed by Dick’s legs from where he’s sitting leaned against the wall with his legs bent.

He checks Jason’s pulse and breathing, both fast and fluttery, but not in dangerous levels. Tim gets started on wrapping his wrists, while Dick returns to threading his fingers through Jason’s hair in that way he’s never said he enjoys, but everyone knows he does.

“Hey, hey, open your eyes, Jay. Come on, stay with me here,” he pleads quietly, hoping to keep him from falling asleep just yet.

Slowly, bright teal eyes blink blearily open, finding Dick’s face immediately. He breathes out a sigh of relief, smiling down at him. Jason’s gaze flicks over to Tim, who meets his eyes for a few moments before nodding to himself and returning to wrapping Jason’s wounds.

Briefly, Dick panics when his eyes slide shut and his head lolls listlessly into Dick’s abdomen, but it’s washed away when he recognizes the slower breathing pattern of sleep. No surprise he’s exhausted, after what he went through.

Tim tends to the worst of his injuries while Dick holds him, keeping him warm in the cold house. Not too much longer later, the Batmobile arrives and the two of them get Jason loaded in.

He’s in and out for the whole ride back, drifting between barely awake and fully asleep.

Back in the medbay of the Batcave, both Dick and Tim help Alfred get Jason changed and help dress his injuries.

He just barely manages to keep the bile in his stomach when he’s forced to actually dress the handprints and the bite marks.

By the look on Tim’s face the whole time, he guesses he’s having the same struggle.

------------------------

Consciousness comes back to Jason in broken, foggy pieces. Sharp, but unclear.

He knows he hurts. He’s in pain. He’s cold. His nerves are still jittery and twitchy.

He doesn’t know why.

And then it all slams into him like a fucking truck and he throws himself out of– where is he? Laying on something vaguely soft, rapid beeping in the background that abruptly shifts to a long whine that grates on his ears, needling into his skull and it hurts, it hurts so much, so he tries to back away from it– tripping and stumbling over whatever else is in the room, ignoring the pinpricks of pain over his otherwise trembling body.

“Jay– Jason– Jason!” A voice yells worriedly, close, far too close. He flinches, pressing himself further back into the corner. There’s so much– sound, noise, smells, feeling– whatever he’s wearing scratches painfully against his chest and back, and suddenly he can hear that voice again and those hands on his body and he just wants people to stop fucking touching him–

“Little wing, I need you to open your eyes,” a different voice coaxes, softer than the other one. “You’re safe, you’re in control here, okay? No one’s going to do anything you don’t want them to. Open your eyes for me, please.”

Jason slowly, cautiously flutters his eyes open, not even aware they were closed. A kind face smiles encouragingly back at him, dark blue eyes searching his tentatively.

“There you go. Can you breathe with me? We’re in the Cave, it’s just me and Tim right now. Deep breaths for me, little wing,” Dick murmurs soothingly, exaggerating his own breathing for him to follow. He tries, once he manages to actually focus on it, but it’s hard, god it’s hard because his heart is still beating out of his chest and every instinct in him is screaming at him to move, to fight, to hide, to get away even though somewhere in his mind he knows he’s safe.

Dick seems to see something in his curled up form– when did he end up on the ground with his arms wrapped around himself?– because he shuffles back about a foot and it immediately makes something in Jason’s chest a little lighter, a little less constricting. He finds himself able to follow the pattern, heart slowing down with the more even breaths.

Once he has a handle on his own thoughts, he averts his gaze from Dick’s and takes in the room. Now that he’s not panicking, he can easily recognize it as the Medbay in the Bat Cave. Several cots line the walls, various pieces of medical equipment are scattered around, and the place is pristine as always.

Except for the path of destruction caused by his panic to the corner of the room, of course. Tim stands by what he guesses is his cot, the furthest one from the door. There are medical supplies strewn about the cot itself, mostly bandages and various antibiotic and burn creams.

Well. That explains a lot.

He lets himself relax a bit, unfolding slightly from his little ball but keeping his arms wrapped around his mostly bandaged torso.

“How– How long has it been?” He asks, voice scratchy and hoarse. Tim moves in the background, setting a glass of water with a straw a couple feet away and sliding it towards him.

“We found you yesterday after the sun rose, and you’ve been out since. Technically it was earlier today but it’s past midnight, so.”

Dick shrugs, keeping a sort of easy air around him despite the tension threading through his muscles. “No one’s left for patrol yet. I was gonna stay in, and Tim has stuff to work on at the computer.”

Jason hums, taking careful sips from the water. They fall into a sort of awkward, loaded silence that no one really wants to break.

“We, uh. Can we finish up the bandages?” Tim finally asks. Jason tenses up just at the idea, pressing back into the wall. “If we don’t, it’s more likely to leave scars or get infected…”

He scoffs sardonically, forcing himself to his feet. “Sure, yeah, whatever, Timbit. Just make it quick.”

Jason settles back on the cot, sitting cross-legged and facing one of the long sides so they can both have enough room to do whatever it is you need to do. He focuses on a breathing pattern as they tread closer and tentatively resume what they were doing prior to his little freak out, dutifully ignoring the way his skin prickles uncomfortably and his whole body tenses just at their proximity. He definitely ignores how each touch– half a moment of contact, barely even a brush against his skin– nearly causes him to flinch away and makes his eyes sting as he forces himself to remain relatively still.

Fuck. Seriously, he’s been through far worse, why the hell does he feel like sobbing?

He tilts his chin up at Dick’s prompting so they can re-bandage his neck, biting the inside of his lip hard enough for it to bleed in an attempt to keep his eyes from betraying him.

He’s not angry, he’s certainly not sad, so why the hell does his body feel the need to do this to him?

It’s stupid, that’s what it is. His childhood on the streets was worse than this. The Joker was worse than this. Hell, the Pit was definitely worse than this. That’s not even counting having to dig his way out of his own grave– that he could definitely understand wanting to cry about. That fucking sucked.

But he wasn’t even there for that long. Some electrocution, some freezing, and maybe he really did want to die there for a hot second but that’s besides the point because it’s a coin flip whether he feels like that on any given day. Really, it’s a fifty-fifty whether he wants to die or if he feels like he’s already dead.

Maybe that says something about him.

He dismisses the thought with a suspiciously choked half-scoff, rapidly blinking his eyes. Dick pulls back, trying to meet his gaze, but he averts it before he can.

“Jay, you… you know you’re allowed to fall apart, right? Especially about something like this, you–”

“Don’t fucking tell me that, Goldie,” Jason snaps, pulling away from them both to curl back up at the head of the bed. Neither try to stop him, glancing between him and each other.

“I’m just saying, we’re here for you. That’s what family does, we help pick up the pieces when we fall apart.”

He rolls his eyes, fixing his glare on a random crack between the tiles on the floor of the Medbay. “Whatever. Look, I’m fine, okay? Don’t make a big deal out of something that isn’t a big deal. I’ve had far worse. I grew up on the streets, trust me, this isn’t my first fucking rodeo.”

The other two exchange glances again.

“I think what he’s trying to say is that we get it,” Tim tries carefully. That makes Jason’s attention snap to the two of them, scanning them both. Slightly uncomfortable, but no lies. He growls, deep in his chest, a flare of familiar protective rage surging in his chest.

“Who?”

Tim answers first. “Ra’s’ sister, when I was… looking for B. It didn’t actually– I wasn’t– Cass got there in time,” he finally gets out. It doesn’t really help the rage, but it does make him relax slightly.

Dick, on the other hand, is uncharacteristically silent, hands fidgeting. Anxiety is written into every line on his face. Jason and Tim stay silent, waiting for him to speak.

“She– she’s in jail, now. For something else. But she’s already gone,” Dick finally says, wringing his hands.

Of course it’s at this moment all three flinch as the door slides open, revealing Bruce in the suit, sans cowl. He has a bundle of fabric in his arms, which he sets at the foot of the bed. He glances at the three of them, then clears his throat awkwardly.

“I… brought all your favorite clothes you still have here. I wasn’t sure which ones you might want.”

Jason blinks, slowly reaching out to grab his favorite Wonder Woman hoodie from the pile and slipping it on with only a little difficulty. It’s then that he realizes that it’s not just his stuff in the pile. He sends a questioning look at Bruce, who has thinly-veiled pain in his eyes.

“I figured I’d bring down things for all of you. If… if any of you want to, to talk about it. Someday. I understand.”

It’s the three boys’ turn to look at him incredulously, Tim opening his mouth to ask the question they’re all thinking before a different, haughty voice echoes across the cave.

“Father! Oracle has requested you at the computer, she insists she must show you something relating to the case,” Damian calls from further into the cave, most likely by the computer. Jason notes the brief stiffness, and the forced relaxing of muscles, before it clicks.

Oh, he was going to put his All-Blades to good use. Demon heads are going to roll.

Bruce clears his throat again, stiffly making his way out while the three eldest brothers of the family exchange glances, collectively agree to not talk about it, and Tim follows them out. Dick grabs his own hoodie from the pile, then turns to Jason with a small smile.

“If you want a distraction, I bet we could kidnap Tim for some Mario Kart?”

Jason huffs a reluctant laugh, waving him off. “Sure, go get the baby bird. Wait until B leaves though. I’d… like a second. Alone.”

“Of course,” Dick smiles, stepping towards the exit. “We’ll be out here, yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah. Scram.”

27 notes · View notes

dixonsdarkelf · 7 months ago

Text

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter One

Main masterlist Series masterlist AO3 link Wattpad link

Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted SA, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, dixonsdarkelf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

TW/CWs for this chapter--blood, violence, amputation, swearing

“Lydia Rae Vector, Board-Certified in Trauma Surgery!”

The grin that spread across my face caused my cheeks to ache. I looked out and saw my parents and brothers, who fought like hell for their front-row seats to witness their only daughter and sister receive her certification. This was the moment I had worked my entire life for.

My residency was complete. And my boards had been passed. I was officially a surgeon.

The “waterproof” mascara I had spent my last $20 on ran and flaked into my eye, causing it to water more. I take my certificate from the officiator, shake his hand, and look out to the audience once again.

And I see him. Every single time, I see him.

A man stumbling down the center aisle, appearing drunk and disorderly, but he’s covered in blood, and his skin is bluish-grey. Decomposition has clearly already started. That was evident by both the open wounds on his body and the putrid stench that accompanied him. And the rest always happens the exact same way.

The crowd notices him, and slowly, the entire auditorium falls silent. Security starts to come around from the emergency exits, but before they can get to him, the man has made his way to the front row.

And he attacks my mother.

Her screams, the screams of my father and brothers, the screams of the audience and the screams coming from my own throat haunt me. He rips her vocal cords out with one swift bite, and her screams cease as quickly as they began.

And this is always where my nightmare ends.

I wake up in a cold sweat, nothing unusual there. I throw myself upwards, letting out a small yelp and feeling all over myself with my hands, checking for wounds and blood. My mornings went exactly the same way.

Every. single. time.

The small shed I had spent the night in looked even dustier during the day. I used my hands to prop myself up off of the floor and and pulled my backpack, which was my pillow every night, out from behind me. Scooting slightly to my left to get out of the blinding sun coming in through the window, I unzipped it and went through the checklist that I always do, making sure every weapon I had was still in its place.

“Axe, knife, guns, spear,” I said out loud, pulling one of the small guns and the collapsible spear out and setting them on the ground next to me. Checking that the safety was still on for both guns, I checked for my other items. Nothing had ever been stolen from me in the night, but you couldn’t be too careful.

“Journal, water bottle, clothes, food, tools, gauze, lighter, bandages, disinfectant, sewing kit, pills, and my most unique weapon.” Once everything was accounted for, I took the blanket I had been using and folded it as best as I could, stuffing it in on top of everything. I slipped my water bottle out and took the smallest sip, just enough to get rid of my cotton mouth and dry throat. I slipped the gun I left on the floor into the strap on my leg and extended my spear, getting up off of the ground and dusting myself off.

I paused for a moment and listened to the birds chirping outside. I wonder what they were saying to each other, I thought to myself. They seem happy. Of course they did. They don’t have to live through the end of the world in the same way humans do.

My reveling in listening to bird calls was quickly interrupted by the sound of a scream. A human scream. And Walker groans.

I swung my backpack onto my shoulders and jumped to the corner next to the door. I lifted my head slowly, just enough for my eyes to enter the window frame.

There was a man, probably around my age, on the ground, and three Walkers surrounding him. I could see that he had lost his knife in the scuffle, and I imagine he was hesitant to use a gun because he didn’t want to attract more of the reanimated corpses. I readied my spear, took a deep breath, and kicked the door open in one fell swoop.

“Aye motherfuckers!” I yelled, drawing the attention of all three Walkers towards me. I skipped backwards, away from the man, putting a little more distance between myself & the undead. I swung my spear and stabbed the closest one right between the eyes, pulling it out and watching the heap fall to the ground. The other two went down similarly. I paused for a moment, perking up my ears and listening to make sure no others were coming.

Once it was clear, I ran to the man. He was still on the ground, groaning in pain. That’s when I saw the bite on his ankle. My heart sank. But I knew what I needed to do. I ran and kneeled down next to him.

“Hey, what’s your name man?” I said to him, trying to keep my voice as calm as possible. I saw a small glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“A-A-Aaron,” he said, gritting his teeth through the pain.

“Alright Aaron, my name is Vector. I’m a doctor, and I can save you, but we gotta get you inside that shed right there. Can you sit up?” He nodded and used his arms to pull himself into a sitting position. I got up on my feet and put an arm around his back, under his arms.

“Alright Aaron, let’s get you on your feet,” I told him, and I saw him nod out of the corner of my eye. He put his body weight onto his right foot & onto me, and we slowly stood up together. Thankfully, the shed was right by us. I got him through the door and helped him back down onto the floor. Once he was on his back, I moved like lightning to get out my small axe, disinfectant, lighter, bandages, gauze, and two of my shirts, one with long sleeves and a small one.

“Aaron, you probably know where this is going, but I’m going to have to cut your foot off. And then I’m going to cauterize your wound so it hopefully won’t get infected,” I said between inhales, taking the my smaller shirt and tying it into a knot to form a gag. We couldn’t have him attracting any more Walkers. “I need you to take this and bite down as hard as you can. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes…” Aaron said. I saw a couple of tears leave his eyes. He put the knotted shirt into his mouth, laying his head back onto the dirty floor. I poured a small amount of disinfectant onto my axe and onto his leg, just above the bite mark. Some of the disinfectant ran into the wound, and he writhed in pain.

“Alright.” I looked over at him, meeting his eyes, “I need you to stay completely still. Bite down as hard as you possibly can. You got this my man.” He squeezed his eyes shut. I raised the axe up, lining it up with where I was going to make my mark.

“I’m so sorry Aaron,” I whispered, swinging the axe down as hard as I could. Thankfully, his foot and ankle came off with one hit. His blood sprayed across the shed, getting onto the walls and all over both of us.

Despite the muffling of the shirt, his screaming was loud. The tears were flowing. And so was the blood. I grabbed my lighter with my right hand and grabbed Aaron’s hand with my left one, squeezing it to remind him he wasn’t alone.

“I’m going to cauterize it next. This pain is probably going to be worse, but I know you can do this. Just keep breathing through your nose and squeeze my hand when you need to,” I told him. He didn’t nod or acknowledge what I said in any way, but I had to keep moving to stop the bleeding. I flicked on my lighter and held it to his open wound, gliding it back and forth across the whole area. I did this for a couple of minutes to ensure the whole area had been cauterized. For Aaron, I’m sure it felt like hours. He squeezed my hand so hard that I was sure he was going to break it. His muffled screams were the only sound I heard.

“You’re doing great bud,” I spoke softly, “I have padding and gauze that I’m going to put onto it next, then I’m going to wrap it in one of my shirts. Keep biting onto that one for as long as you need.” This time, he opened his eyes, which were bright red from crying, and nodded. I took a couple of pads and pressed them to his leg, holding them in place while I started the gauze wrapping.

“I’m sorry I don’t have an ice pack or anything to help with the burning,” I said. He spat my shirt onto the ground and let out a small chuckle.

“Sorry? You just saved my life.” I took my long-sleeved plaid button-up and wrapped his leg in it, using the sleeves to tie it around his calf. He was still hyperventilating a little.

“Just rest for right now,” I instructed, “once you’re doing a little better, I’ll help you get back to your home base.” He tried to pull himself up to a sitting position, but I lightly pressed on his shoulders to let him know to lay back down, “Stay like that. Just focus on your breathing. I have some water, and I have food if you’re hungry.”

“What did you say your name was?” he asked me. I pulled my water bottle, which was about half-full, out of my bag.

“Vector,” I repeated. I scooted over to him and helped him lift his head enough to sip some water without choking on it. I took my knotted shirt and unknotted it, giving to him to wipe the tears and water off of his face. He rotated his head and looked up at me.

“Vector, why did you help me?” he asked, “you could’ve just killed me, saved your resources. Or taken my stuff and ran.” I squeezed his shoulder reassuringly.

“I took an oath,” I explained, “I’m a doctor. This is what I do.”

“How can I—“ a cough stopped him mid-sentence, “repay you? I can get you food, water, supplies. I have a community. Just say the word and whatever you want is yours.” I leaned back and grabbed my spear, which I had dropped on the way in, and collapsed it fully, rolling back and forth on the floor between my hands.

“Honestly, I could just use directions to a certain place, I must be close to it by now. I’m looking for a safe zone, it’s called—“

“Alexandria.”

I cocked my head at him, my words catching in my mouth and my facial expression displaying my shock. “How did you know that?”

“It’s the only one around here. We’re only a couple miles out” he laughed. Despite my protests earlier, he used his upper body to pull himself up into a sitting position, leaning back against some boxes, “I’m actually from there. I’m a recruiter. I go out with my partner Eric, and we search for survivors, like yourself, and see who would make useful additions to our community. And hell, we could definitely use you.”

I couldn’t believe my luck.

“I’ve been looking for Alexandria for months.”

31 notes · View notes

wangxianficfinder · 1 year ago

Text

In the mood for...

~*~

1. ITMF a fic where the Lans or the neis or the cultivation world in general find out about the abuse wwx takes at jiang sect and the other sects trying to help him @zerokogane

Warming up (to him) by barisan (T, 9k, LQR & WWX, WangXian, Hypothermia, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Temporary Character Death, Medical Inaccuracies, YZY Abuses WWX, JFM Bashing, pre-wangxian, Good Uncle LQR, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort) I have recommendations for the 1st one where Lan Qiren steps in!

Rediscovery, Reconstruction by ExtraPenguin (M, 27k, JFM/WWX, LQR & WWX, WWX/OC(s), rape/non-con, underage, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Rape Recovery, bildungsroman, Self-Discovery) tw for csa and rape, this one makes the abuse even worse but it's a wonderful fic about Lan Qiren stepping in to save Wei Wuxian (also has wwx/original character)

Blooming Bruises on my Soul and Body by xxxMiaHikarixxx (T, 13k, WangXian, Living on Streets, psychological abuse, WWX being a protective brother, JC being a protective brother, Good brother JC, Good brother LXC, Happy Ending, Angst With Some Comfort, Physical Abuse, Neglect, LXC is a Wangxian supporter, LWJ is whipped, Hate Crimes, multiple POVs)

🔒💙 Holding shreds by barisan (T, 5k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, No Sunshot Campaign, Body Swap, Not for sexy shenanigans, Chronic Pain, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abusive YZY, Bad Parent YZY, Bad Parent JFM, Good Uncle LQR, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, POV WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jiāng Family Bashing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Getting Together, Smart WWX)

~*~

2. Hi! Now that I finished my exams 😭, I'm ready to read a lot of new Wangxian fics! ❤️

So, for the next ITMF, I was thinking in fics about:

A) The Lans (LQ, LXC, LWJ or any Lan) looking for WWX in the burial mounds after he saved the Wens, bc they need his help. And then the Lans decided to help WWX after watching the truth.

B) Or the Lans visiting WWX bc LWJ said WWX didn't have any army and when they understand the truth, they decided to help WWX and the Wens.

Plus if there is a Wangxian weeding 😍. Please happy ending in both cases. 🙏

Thank you so much!! Love this blog 🤗💜

@wangxiansgirl

2A)

Weep You No More, Sad Fountains by athena_crikey (T, 59k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-it fic, Whump, Curses, Fever, Delirium, Stabbing, Loneliness, Confessions, LXC realising sympathy is not support, LQR Being an Asshole)

2B)

Discordant Rhapsody by nirejseki (T, 49k, LQR & WWX, wangxian, JC & WWX, WQ & WWX & WN, LWJ & LQR & LXC, canon divergence, fix-it, hurt/comfort, trauma, politics, protective LQR, protective LWJ, protective WWX, LQR centric, whump, angst)

🔒 the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break by RoseThorne (E, 91k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Self-Esteem Issues, Fix-It, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, PTSD, Handfasting, Panic Attacks, Getting Together, First Time, Aftercare, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, /Referenced Torture, Scars, Chronic Pain, Golden Core Reveal, First Time, Switching, sex-related injury, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, LSZ is a Wèi, Good Sibling JC, Dissociation, Burial Mounds Settlement Days)

~*~

3. hii! i hope you guys are doing well <3! I've been in a nhs mood, and I was wondering if you have any recs with nhs and wwx friendship, fix it, canon, anything works! i read the one in your last itmf i think, and I'm just craving more of those two! thank you in advance! @flexible-racoon

~*~

4. ITMF a dead dove focusing on CQL nieyao's age gap @crypticidentity

~*~

5. Itmf canon-compliant ish fics (not modern setting) where the first thing Wei Wuxian does after coming back from the dead is run straight to Lan Zhan? Thank you!

~*~

6. HIII is there any good arranged married Wwx and Lwj? Or maybe they're married fr and they have A-yuan as their son? @naoenowa

True Gold Fears No Fire by defractum (nyargles) (M, 69k, WIP, WangXian, Royalty AU, Ancient China, Wuxia, Historical Inaccuracy, Arranged Marriage, Identity Porn, Mutual Pining, Emperor!LWJ, empress!wwx, Eventual Happy Ending, Misunderstandings)

Into the Oubliette by Ruixx (M, 124k, WIP, WangXian, Growing Up, Fix-It of Sorts, Arranged Marriage, Time Travel, Sibling Bonding, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Canon Divergence, Light BDSM, Breathplay, Wwx protection squad, Sunshot Campaign, War Politics, Hostage JYL, Visions, LXC Redemption, general lwj, Internal Sect, Politics, Good Uncle LQR, Lan OC’s, No Golden Core Transfer, Empire Building)

🧡 hypothetically, of course by johnnyfucksup (G, 22k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Character Study, Kinda, Inter-sect politics, a little bit, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Strangers to Lovers, Getting to Know Each Other, Falling In Love, The Mortifying Ordeal of Falling In Love With Your Betrothed, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, very awkward ones at that, Slow Burn Speedrun)

A Wonderful (business) Arrangement by Orchidaisy_55 (E, 58k, wangxian, JC/NHS, LXC/JGY, JYL/JZX, Arranged Marriage, Modern, A/B/O, True Love, First Love, Mpreg, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Domestic Fluff, WWX is LSZ's Parent, mentions of miscarrage, Anal Sex, secondary sex characteristics, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Unplanned Pregnancy)

The Ties That Bind by silverclaw (G, 43k, wangxian, A/B/O, Arranged Marriage, Modern, Alpha WWX, Omega LWJ, past toxic relationship, Slow Burn, husbandiest of husband material WWX, mention of mpreg in relation to side-character, hurt LWJ, WWX falls first AND harder, No Smut)

After I Met You by Amandyalmonds (M, 78k, wangxian, Dragon LWJ, Fox Spirit WWX, Canon Divergence, Royalty AU, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Madam Yu's A+ Parenting, Protective WQ, Protective LWJ, Canon-Typical Violence, Unreliable Narrator WWX, Arranged Marriage, Miscommunication, Autistic LWJ, WIP)

Cultivator Lan's Wedding by squishh (Not Rated, 14k, wangxian, LXC/QS, Arranged Marriage, hidden identity, Nobleman Ryu's Wedding AU, slightly more based in historical reality, still xianxia tho, Wife swap, Slow Burn, Bisexual WWX, Demisexual LWJ, No War AU, No Yīn Iron, WWX's canonical backstory - mostly, YZY is slightly less abusive, still abusive tho, JYL not engaged to JZX, Canon-Typical Violence, No homophobia as a form of self-care to the author, Happy Ending, JC and WWX have a much better relationship here, POV Alternating, POV LWJ, POV WWX, Crossdressing, Historical Fantasy, WIP)

🔒 it's just a little white lie by MohnDoe (T, 1k, wangxian, Inspired by a Reddit Post, Modern Setting, Arranged Marriage, WIP)

Not Lost, Just Undiscovered by anancites (E, 107k, wangxian, Modern, Arranged Marriage, Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Idiots in Love, Mildly Dubious Consent)

~*~

7. Fics which go with the lyrics: " These days, I'm way too lonely

I'm missing out, I know

These days, I'm way too alone And I'm known for giving love away, but

I want someone who love me

I need someone who needs me

'Cause it don't feel right when it's late at night

And it's just me in my dreams So I want someone to love, that's what I fucking want "

Song: that's what I want, by Lil nas x

All the ways that you remain by Spodumene (G, 23k, WangXian, Modern AU, Canada, Romance, First Meetings, Cottagecore, There Was Only One Bed, Mention of Parent Death, Getting Together)

~*~

8. itmf fics where wwx hurts lwj (emotionally or physically)

Over the Rotted Bridge by vailkagami (T, 314k, WangXian, Temporary Character Death, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, LWJ dies, Wei Wuxian doesn’t die, neither do (most of) the wens, JYL also lives, Original Character(s), outside pov, YLLZ WWX, Canon Divergence, CQL Verse, Illustrated, Grief/Mourning, Non-Consensual Resurrection, mute LWJ, Hurt LWJ, Slow Burn, canonical death of a child (mentioned), Survivor Guilt, PTSD)

~*~

9. ITMF heavy angst BUT I don't want it to be whump

Twin Demons of Mò by XiaoFeiFei (ArfBarkWoof) (M, 358k, MXY & WWX, wangxian, JL & MXY, XY & MXY, JGY & MXY, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, Abuse, Death, Twin Demons of Mo AU, MXY Lives, Major Character Injury, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Minor Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Minor Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Torture, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Canon Divergence, Self-Harm, Found Family, Sexual Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, POV Alternating)

~*~

10. ITMF a fic where wwx died in the past and then lwj waits for him to reincarnate and lives into the modern world where they meet again but wwx doesn't remember until later (or its fine if he remembers too )

based on a photo on Pinterest whose link ill paste cos I can't attach photos for some reason in the ask

Thanks again! Ly guys! @maurader--here

All Old Things are New Again by The Feels Whale (miscellea) (M, 51k, WangXian, XuanLi, ChengQing, Reincarnation, Modern AU, canon still happened, extreme post canon, Sugar Daddy, Kink Negotiation, gentle dom!LWJ, canonical levels of consent play, Modern Cultivators)

the recluse at the end of the moonlit path by beesinspades (T, 28k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reincarnation, Post-Canon, Jack of All Trades Artist WWX, Immortal! LWJ, Mutual Pining, Light Angst, Reunions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Asexual Character, good vibes, [Podfic] the recluse at the end of the moonlit path by b_ofdale by Beria1021)

🧡 We Were Never Strangers by NeverEnoughWangxian (M, 36k, WangXian, Reincarnation, Modern AU, POV WWX, (mostly), College Student WWX, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Immortal LWJ, Immortal LSZ, Dreams, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Sexual Tension, Sexual Content)

~*~

11. Hello! Any fics where LWJ is shown to bond with animals?

No specific animal, just that it treats LWJ a bit specially or listens to him etc.

Thank you for your work!

in the arms of the angel by ScarlettStorm (E, 37k, WangXian, Modern AU with Magic, Fox WWX, animal rescuer LWJ, Comedy, Smut, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Adhd WWX, the mortifying ordeal of getting your head stuck in a peanut butter jar) it sort of fits bc lwj is in animal rescue & has some powers to make the animals feel calm & safe!

Lan Zhan's University Days (JAFFY) by sami (T, 10k, WangXian, Modern AU, Kinda, cultivated to immortality, University, outsider pov, Wei Wuxian is a chaos gremlin, ridiculous future bullshit wwx vs Local Culture) Sami's Lan Zhan's University Days from ridiculous future bull series. The cows in the farm and in later rfb glimpses with various baby animals

~*~

12. IMTF: I recently finished the WIP “Horseshoes and Hand Grenades” by Phantomhill which was amazing and hilarious. I’m now itmf any fics with the same premise of bringing the original Yiling Patriarch forward into the modern era, preferably without relying on reincarnation for the other characters. Any ships acceptable except self-insert. Thanks! @jensownzoo

结局难更改 (the ending is hard to change) Series by PorcupineGirl (G, 50k, WangXian, Time Travel, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivators AU, Canon Divergence, Time Traveler WWX, discussion of canonical character deaths, conveniently localized fires, Discussion of Canonical Suicide Attempt, mostly happy but slightly bittersweet ending, Reincarnation, LWJ POV, Established Relationship, Aromantic JC) might fit as it involves WWX ending up in the future instead of falling to his death

~*~

13. Hello all, sorry if this ask is too explicit 😳

I’m looking for fics where Wei Wuxian has a small penis and Lan Wangji has a big one 🍆

Love me some size difference

Thanx in advance

The Damage You Do by stiricide (E, 104k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Dom/Sub, Dark LWJ, Mobster LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Sex Worker WWX, Sugar Baby WWX, WWX adopts LSZ, Dubious Consent, each chapter has sex tag notes on it, BDSM, Sounding, Panic Attacks, Angst with a Happy Ending)

~*~

14. Do you have Yunmeng bros reconciliation fics that have reverse golden core reveals (wwx finding out about jc getting captured in his place). Angst is fine :)

Thank you!!!! <;3 @twlaei

~*~

15. For the next ITMF can i get fics where LZ plays their song before an audience while wy watches speechless? It could be a recital, it could be a party, it could be a wedding...it just has to have lz playing his heart out for WY while an audience is present.

LZ could be singing or playing any instruments like violin, guqin, piano etc.

For example, drag my teeth across your chest (by ana_cp) - violin. // last part in a FF post ~Mod L @imstillthinkingaboutithmm

Talisman by Witch_Nova221 (M, 192k, WangXian, Modern AU, Eventual Romance, Theatre, Rock Band, Childhood Friends, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Spousal Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Stalking, Minor Character Death, Friends to Lovers, Orphans, Mutual Pining)

~*~

16. ITMF for...

Fics when either WangXian or any other pairing (bonus if it's a rarepair or the Juniors are involved) are discovered by someone walking in on them? Even more bonus if WangXian are together and it's them walking in on someone! Thank you! @fomalhaut48

I spy by Anonymous (E, 9k, wangxian, Voyeurism, Masturbation, Rough Sex, of the wangxian kind, Pseudo-Incest, is it uuuuh incest if one spies on their adoptive parents, the juniors get more than they bargained for, Blow Jobs, Face-Fucking)

Countless Roads by SunBlueSun (E, 5k, wangxian, Accidental Voyeurism, Switching, Versatile | Switch Wangxian, Porn with Feelings, Minor Original Character(s), Love, hanguang jun has flowers in his hair, POV Outsider)

Friends with Great Benefits by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 15k, wangxian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, First Time, virgins, Voyeurism, Accidental Voyeurism, Semi-accidental voyeurism, WWX's canonical heteronormative assumptions, cutsleeve awakenings, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, (it depends on who you ask))

a new light by museaway (T, 2k, wangxian, Accidental Voyeurism, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, POV Outsider, Canon Compliant)

~*~

17. Itmf wwx is in a slump, depressed, burnt out, breaking down, etc and lwj swoops in with tender loving care to pull him from his slump.

12 Hours In Hell and Paradise (Or: Lan Zhan’s Distinguished Guide to Seasonal Depression) by demonicsalad (T, 4k, wangxian, Modern, Friends to Lovers, Developing Relationship, Mental Health Issues, Neurodiversity, Love Confessions, POV LWJ) Not quite what OP on 17 asked for, it's from LWJ's pov and primarily his struggles, but it is cute fic about both sides of WX battling seasonal depression and comforting each other

总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie (E, 76k, WangXian, Modern AU, Pianist, Getting Together, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Hospitals, Overdosing, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic recs #i'm in the mood for a fic #the untamed #wangxian fic search #wangxianficfinder #long post

133 notes · View notes

sterek-ao3feed · 2 months ago

Text

On sunny days, I go out walking

Read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/63693040

by Lord_potato

With Stiles in the hospital after the nogitsune threat is over, Derek has nothing to do expect talk to the Sheriff.

Words: 1215, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of Autumn comes when you're not yet done

Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Derek Hale, Sheriff Stilinski (Teen Wolf)

Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale & Sheriff Stilinski

Additional Tags: Hurt Stiles Stilinski, Post-Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Hospitals, Derek Hale is a Softie, Good Parent Sheriff Stilinski (Teen Wolf), Hurt/Comfort, mostly - Freeform, Stiles is going through it but Derek and the Sheriff are moderately alright, Family Bonding, Protective Sheriff Stilinski (Teen Wolf), Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, tw mentions of Kate and references to her abuse towards Derek

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63693040

#Sterek #Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale #Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski #ao3feed Sterek #ao3feed #fanfic

10 notes · View notes

wolftheawoo · 7 months ago

Text

Chapter IV - How things go.

NSFW FANFIC - DDDNE

Reverse Fall(s) - Twisted Realities

Relationships: Bill Cipher/Ford Pines, Will Cipher | Reverse Bill Cipher/Ford Gleeful | Reverse Ford Pines, Will Cipher | Reverse Bill Cipher/Dipper Gleeful | Reverse Dipper Pines, Will Cipher | Reverse Bill Cipher/Mabel Gleeful | Reverse Mabel Pines, Bill Cipher & Will Cipher | Reverse Bill Cipher, Dipper Gleeful | Reverse Dipper Pines & Mabel Gleeful | Reverse Mabel Pines, Dipper Gleeful/Ford Gleeful, Mabel Gleeful/Ford Gleeful, Bud Pines/Gideon Pines, Mabel Gleeful | Reverse Mabel Pines/Pacifica Southeast | Reverse Pacifica Northwest TAGS/TW: DDDNE, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Rape/Non-con Elements, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Rape, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Underage Rape/Non-con, Underage Sex, Consensual Underage Sex, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Underage Kissing, Anal Sex, Anal Gaping, Piss, Vomiting, Object Insertion, Gore, Visceral, Violence, Reverse Falls, Alternate Universe - Reverse Portal (Gravity Falls), Alternate Universe - Reverse Falls | Reverse Pines (Gravity Falls), Reverse Pines Family (Gravity Falls), Ford is sadic as fuck here, Dipper and Mabel are very very bad, there will be blood, Bill is a spectator and voyeur, Voyeurism, Mabel suck his grunkle to get what she wants, Incest, Sibling Incest, Uncle/Nephew Incest, Uncle/Niece Incest, Stancest, pinecest, Spanking, Non-Consensual Spanking, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Non-Consensual Oral Sex

Summary:

Bill Cipher, the most chaotic triangular demon in the universe, is about to discover that not all cosmic power is hole-proof. Stumbling into a dimensional rift, he plummets straight into the universe of Reverse Falls, where everything is twisted, sinister, and a little more broken than he remembered. Instead of looking for a way back, Bill decides to do what he does best: turn this chaos into his personal playground. With constant misfortune and characters darker than ever, he plunges headlong into a universe where nothing makes sense, but everything is potential for fun. For Bill Cipher, the more wrong the situation, the better. And in the end, he may even discover that the chaos of Reverse Falls is where he really belongs.

Chaos, acid humor and a lot of misfortune guaranteed. After all, for Bill, hell is an amusement park.

-------------------------------------

(⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧ NOTES: Grenda and Pacifica, Mabel and Stanley, Will and Dipper... yeah, this chapter is full of people having intercourse. NOTES 2: I'd like to thank everyone who's been following my fanfic, and for all the kind comments and Kudos. You're all in my heart. Thank you very much.

Pacifica's body shook violently as Grenda thrust inside her. She was bigger than Candy had imagined, and watching what was happening made her wet, even though she didn't want to admit it. Mabel had told them both to clean up the place, but she hadn't said they couldn't have a little fun first. As Grenda drove her cock deeper and deeper into Pacifica, blonde strands stuck to her face and saliva dripped from her mouth; her legs spasmed slightly and her insides tightened. Southeast's small womb was brutally beaten by Granda who, close to the climax, grabbed Pacifica and held her body in her arms, crushing her until she heard her bones crack and, inside her canal, emptied herself until not a single drop of semen remained. Candy was perplexed and very excited, and as Grenda pulled out of Pacifica, her seed ran down the girl's legs who, when she was released, only fell to the floor in her own urine.

Mabel's two friends, as ordered, cleaned the bathroom of any residue that might have remained from the "game". They mopped it with the janitor's mop, and used a lot of toilet paper to leave everything clean. Pacifica, on the other hand, was left a mess of saliva, tears and cum.

“What do we do with her?” said the Asian girl, fixing her glasses.

“We leave her here. She must be too embarrassed to go out like this, and even more embarrassed to tell anyone.”

“Yes, you’re right…” and crouching down in front of the blonde, Candy smiled mischievously: “If she tells anyone, I doubt they’ll believe her. It’s easier to think she did it because she wanted to.”

Bill, in the little corner he had taken, stayed there the whole time Pacifica was fucked by Grenda. He had liked the way those girls were... they reminded him of his own henchmen who carried out his orders without question, but who were still his friends. The band of misfits and exiles from their own planets and universes. The gang of forgotten and despised people. Just like the six-fingered one who, if he wasn't so altruistic, might have been on his side. In any case, the triangle stuck around to see what the girl would do. And the two girls were right: she was too embarrassed. There was blood, urine, and all sorts of fluids on her body, running, dripping, dirtying her. When she tried to get up, her legs gave way and she fell miserably to the floor, and with her, the tears fell. She was pitiful.

With a restrained sob, Pacifica clung to the walls and, on shaky legs, got up to go to the sink where she turned on the water and began to clean herself. She took her hand between her own legs and touched it, rubbing her fingers against her vagina to remove the excess semen. When she looked at her own hand, her face twisted in a mixture of disgust and sadness. The smell, she contested, was horrible, and she almost vomited. In fact, she regurgitated some of what she had eaten in the canteen into the sink and, completely dazed, washed her hand under the cold running water. As if she had turned on autopilot, she did the same thing a few more times: she used her wet hand to wipe her pussy and then washed her hand in the sink, and repeated this until she felt clean and there was nothing left on her palm.

Then it was time for the legs, and the body. At least, the places Mabel had scribbled on. She rubbed the pieces of paper she'd torn from the dispenser until her skin turned red, and when blood balls were forming under her dermis, she stopped. Leaning against the sink, she lowered her head, letting the strands of hair cover her face. As curious as Bill was, he didn't have to move to notice that Pacifica was crying copiously and the more she cried, the more she trembled. She was on the verge of a breakdown: she threw, pushed, hit, punched, kicked and finally sat down. She punched the wall, kicked the garbage cans, knocked over the soap dispensers, threw paper rolls away and pushed open the cabin doors, then let herself fall to the floor to cry and cry.

It was a long time. Long and tortuous minutes until the bell finally rang, telling them to return to their classrooms. Two more bells rang before Southeast had enough courage to get up. She was more or less dry now, and finished drying herself with toilet paper. She washed her face to uselessly hide her tears and reduce the swelling a little, and, taking a deep breath, smiled at the mirror before leaving. She had to grab her backpack, and she did so, telling the teacher that she wasn't feeling well and needed to go home. Sent to the nurse's office, the poor woman who attended to the students there let Pacifica call her parents, noticing the girl's visible emotional distress. She needed her home. She needed her mother's lap. She needed to go back, that's all.

[…]

Mabel wrapped her legs around her great-uncle's waist as the thrusts became more intense and less spaced out. The girl's thighs pressed against his sides and her heels on the older man's lower back squeezed him enough for his fat, hard cock to enter his grandniece's little pussy completely, making even more of the juice that wet her drip. He was so close to cumming inside her that his moans became even hoarser and lower, close to the girl's ear, who felt shivers run down her spine. The pleasure was overflowing just as was the liquid that dripped from her tight entrance, and as Stan thrust his cock deeper and deeper, Mabel let her voice be heard more and more, moaning like the little slut she was.

"Ohhh, darling... like that, like that... my god, what a delicious pussy... and all wet like that for your great-uncle... what would they think of you if they knew you were my personal little whore?"

The laugh that came from his throat made Mabel arch her back and groan. The girl couldn't think clearly, much less contain herself. Meaningless words left her mouth as her nails dug into Stanley's back and served as an incentive for him to hold Mabel's waist in his arms, lifting her hips off the bed, lifting her so he could fuck her harder and faster. He was going to cum, he was sure he was going to cum because she was squeezing him tightly, and when he reached her womb, the walls of her vagina contracted and crushed him inside.

Stanley's belly rubbed against Mabel's thin abdomen, and his hair tickled the girl. He was sweating like a soccer player on top of the girl, and the strong smell coming from his old body was masculine; a mix of wood, aftershave, cheap perfume and manly body. That delicious body smell that men produce when they work out. Mabel was so horny for it that she would sink her face into Stanley's neck, chest and sometimes armpits just to smell him while she was being fucked hard by him. The rogue's fat cock gave another three thrusts before he buried his cock as deep as he could in his grandniece, making her moan and melt all over his cock as his testicles contracted and he spilled his sperm inside her, filling her up. They didn't usually use condoms, and Mabel loved that. She liked it when she was full, full of cum. She liked it when she put on her panties and, in no time at all, she'd get her entire panties soiled with her uncle's sperm. She liked to feel it running down her legs, and to force it out, and she liked it even more when Stanley decided to fuck her with his fingers, pulling the cum out before shoving the same fingers he'd used in her vagina into her mouth. And Mabel sucked; she sucked with pleasure, moaning and delighting in Stanley's thick, rough fingers.

“Ugghn... yeah, like that... good girl, good girl...”

When he pulled out his still dripping cock, Mabel's pussy was throbbing. She hadn't cum yet, so the old man slipped two of his fingers inside her, bringing his mouth closer to her clitoris and sucking on it. Gleeful wriggled on the bed and tried to push the old man's head away, to no avail: he licked and rubbed his mouth on her, sucking on the labia minora and smacking his lips on the girl's sensitive little button, as she moaned Stan's name. She even grabbed him by the hair, but as he was bigger and stronger, he wrapped both of Mabel's wrists in one hand and held her like that, still, trapped and receiving a pleasurable oral while he lasciviously fucked her little hole with his fingers.

The orgasm came when Stan stuck his index finger up Mabel's already trained urethra and she spasmed and urinated all over the bed, soiling not only her grandfather's hand but also the mattress. The orgasm had been so intense that afterwards she didn't even have the strength to move or clean herself up. Stanley just laughed at the situation, slapping his niece's pussy, teasing her about being a pisser; and he absolutely loved it. He loved knowing that he was making her piss herself with pleasure. He loved knowing that he was making her almost pass out from exhaustion. He loved being able to empty his sack into her and have her beg for more. Mabel was his sex toy, and as much as he loved it, she loved it too.

The girl's calls for Will to go to her room and clean up the mess while she showered were in vain, as Dipper was already busy with the blue triangle demon of that universe.

Stanford wanted to be left alone, as was often the case. He dismissed Will who, still wondering how he was going to find the extra-dimensional being, found himself pacing back and forth until Dipper called out to him.

“I need your help,” he said, grabbing the thick chain that was welded to the metal collar around Will's neck. Tugging hard just for the fun of watching the demon stumble, Dipper dragged him into the very room he affectionately called his laboratory. It was there that he trained his spells and, when he managed to steal Ford's books, studied them to understand more about science and the weirdness of the Falls. As they entered the place that Will already knew with the palm of his hand, Dipper pulled the chain so that Will was forced to kneel down, hitting his knees on the wooden floor, making a loud sound. The wooden door closed and Dipper sat down, staring at Will.

“About this creature you sensed... what else can you tell me?” The way the boy crossed his legs and leaned his head on his hand, that... was typical of Ford. Furthermore, not only did he imitate the posture, but he also kept the chain in his free hand tensioned, forcing Will downwards the whole time. “Answer, slave.”

“I only know that it was as powerful as me, if not, more...”

“And that's possible?”

“...but of course it is.”

A tug was given, and Dipper clenched his jaw. With the back of his hand, he slapped Will across the face. It was never as strong as Ford's slaps.

“Sir! You refer to me as sir!”

“Yes, sir”

“Well? Is it possible?”

“Yes, sir, it's possible”

“How?”

“Well... there are many universes. Many beings in countless timelines, dimensions and alternative realities. The time baby, for example, is very powerful. Just like me, who came from a place with beings from a very different dimension to yours... where I come from, people are 2D, whereas your reality is completely 3D... sir.”

“...I understand. And this being? What is it?”

“I'm not sure, sir... but... if you want, I can find out.”

“Not only can you, but you will.”

“Yes, I will, sir.”

“With you by my side, Mabel doesn't stand a chance. I order you, while we're hunting this creature, to obey only my orders.”

“...but your uncle...”

“My uncle won't mind. He didn't say anything about us not being able to use you. And I'm sure he'll be too busy studying or doing whatever it is he does in his spare time.”

“Yes, sir...”

“Good boy, Will. You're a great dog.”

Despite wanting to, Will held back the urge to roll his eye. The more Dipper tried to look like Ford, the less respectable he seemed. Still... he wanted to please him a little. That's how he got the things he wanted when it was with Dipper.

“Sir...” the boy muttered, crawling across the floor towards Dipper. “Let me... look after you... you look tense.”

As much as he hated it, he crawled towards the boy and, when he was very close, knelt down in front of him. Carefully and with great caution, he slid his velvety fingers up Gleeful's legs and untangled them, placing himself between them.

“When we find this creature together, your uncle will be so proud... and as a wish, perhaps you could ask him to give me to you, to serve you only and exclusively, what do you think?... Or maybe he could give you this creature... and it will be yours. Your first acquisition.” As Dipper's eyes glazed over at the thought of being noticed, Will deftly and quickly unzipped his pants. It wasn't long before he had the boy's meat out, and wrapping his hand around it, he began to stimulate it with slow movements. It was noticeable when he shivered, and when he locked a moan in his throat, since Ford would never moan. “Still... Mabel could get in our way... don't you think it would be more useful if I looked for this creature while you distract her?”

He was careful with his words so that there would be no suspicion. If he looked for the being on his own, and if he found it on his own, he might be able to hand it over on his own. Without Dipper, without Mabel. He would be the one to give Ford what he wanted, and receive the desire in return. The movements were slow, and puberty was brimming through the boy; his erection was already beginning to form, and he clutched gently at the swivel chair he was sitting in, panting softly.

“If we look together...” he started to say, and before he could finish, Will took him in one go, putting the length of Dipper's cock in his mouth. He didn't want him to finish his thought. He couldn't let him think clearly. He had to clear his head. The boy contracted and, moaning low, grabbed onto the blue hair of the tanned-skinned demon with both hands. Will's mouth was warm, welcoming and moist. He'd spent too many years sucking cock at Ford's behest, and had acquired enough experience to provide excellent blowjobs. Dipper's cucumber was nothing compared to Stanley's thick cock or Fiddleford's long dick. When Cipher had swallowed it, he touched his lips to the boy's waist and sucked on it, even smacking his lips around it.

There, he began to move his head, sucking him, slurping him, causing Mason to lay his head back and open his mouth, letting the hot breath escape. Will looked up to see Gleeful fully flushed, with his jaw clenched to stop him moaning and wriggling, twitching, close to cumming. Yes, he was fast, and that was great as it meant Will wouldn't have to keep his jaw sore. Pulling his mouth away from Dipper's cock, Will sighed, jerking him off with one hand while the other stroked the boy's testicles.

“Mabel can get in our way... she has Stanley, Fiddleford and Soos on her side... and you have me... if you can distract her, I'll find this extra-dimensional being and bring him to you, and then you can do whatever you want... Master Stanford will give you what you ask for, and it can be anything. Anything,” he said emphatically, noticing that Dipper was so close to cumming that he couldn't answer. He therefore decreased the frequency of his masturbation, “What do you say, Master Dipper?”

'Master Dipper', that had been his last card. Mason couldn't think with two hands so soft and so skillful caressing his cock and balls at the same time, and in his urgency to cum, with his ego softened: “Fine! So be it!”

Ohhh, but the happiness Cipher felt was great enough to bury his mouth once again, this time with real enthusiasm, in Gleeful's cock. He sucked and licked it, making noises with his mouth, so excited was he. Dipper, for his part, grabbed his slave's blue strands and pushed his head against his own intimacy, contracting his testicles as the seed filled Will's mouth, who, in turn, swallowed it without hesitation. In the end, Mason was limp in the chair, his pants down, and Will, licking his lips, helped him get dressed and clean himself up with wet wipes. It was only at the end that he heard Mabel's calls, and when he got to her room, he realized what had happened. She wouldn't be waking up any time soon, so he left everything clean so that he could start his search.

Was it possible? Could everything have turned out so well?

[...]

That night, Mabel slept like a baby, not even waking up to drink water. Dipper spent the night making plans on how he could keep his sister occupied, one of which involved drugging Stanley with enough Viagra to keep his cock hard. Pacifica cried when she ate dinner in her room, unable to eat without throwing up afterwards. She cried in the shower, scrubbing herself until bruises formed on her body. She cried herself to sleep in bed, and had a strange dream about a yellow triangle offering a deal. Gideon went home without his best friend, and his father counted the money his strange friend always gave him when he wanted to see the white-haired boy. And Will? Well... Will went off in search of the creature that had shaken the structures of that world with its presence.

If only Axolotl could see him now.

#gravity falls #reverse falls #bill cipher #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #ao3 #dddne #billford #fordbill #mabel gleeful #will cipher #stanford gleeful #stanely gleeful #dipper gleeful #book of bill #mabel x stanley #willdip #dipwill #dipper x will

18 notes · View notes

secret-gallavich · 1 year ago

Text

Shameless Whumptober Masterlist

just a list of all the shameless whump fics i wrote in october

Safety Net

tw suicidal thoughts

Mickey has always been there for Ian, even when he's in Mexico and Ian wants to jump off a bridge.

Solitary Confinement

tw mistreatment of mental illness

Ian’s meds were bound to get out of whack at some point in their prison stay.

Made To Watch

tw implied/referenced rape/non-con, implied/referenced child abuse

Ian and Mickey go to a couple’s therapist once a month.

Outnumbered

tw implied/referenced rape/non-con , implied/referenced underage sex , child abuse

Laura Milkovich is 19 years old when she gives birth to her third baby, Mikhailo. It’s the 10th of August in 1994, her husband is in jail and she’s a mother once again

You Said You'd Never Leave

tw suicidal thoughts

Ian comes home from the hospital and Mickey isn't there.

Insomnia

Mickey thought he was just having trouble adjusting to the new surroundings of living in the Westside. He’s not used to the quietness, he’s feeling homesick or the moon is too fucking bright.

Infection

Mickey’s never felt…normal when it comes to Ian. Ian makes him weird and do things he’d never normally do. Like get a tattoo of his name on his chest in prison.

Makeshift Bandages

Mickey hides an injury from Ian while working at the Kash 'N' Grab

Leave Me Alone

tw horror, mistreatment of mental illness, murder, dead dove: do not eat, paranormal, major character death

Ian's convinced something is haunting their apartment. Mickey realises he's telling the truth when it's too late.

Drugging

tw drugged, date rape drug

Mickey’s started going to the club with Ian just to make sure no one takes advantage of him. He lets Ian do his thing, give out lapdances, sweet talk them for some extra cash but he’s always stepping in when they go too far.

Floral Bouquet

tw major character death

Ian passes by a flower shop every day on his morning runs but can't bring himself to go inside.

You Will Regret Touching Them

tw implied/referenced child abuse

S03E06 but it goes differently.

Mickey feels like he’s going to throw up at any second.

He’s got a boy spending the night with him. Not just any boy, Ian. Ian is staying the night and he’s trying to play it casual but he can’t stop glancing over at the red head just to make sure he’s really there.

Don't Move

Mickey is allergic to bees and fucking hates spring

Who's There?

tw thriller, horror

Mickey is home alone and starts hearing noises outside the house.

Storm

tw implied/referenced rape, child abuse, internalised homophobia

Mickey's feeling post S03E06.

The hooker is still here, looking just as scared as he is and putting her purple dress back on under Terry’s watchful eyes. He throws her a bag of coke and she fumbles to catch it. Terry won’t stop glaring at her and Mickey takes it as his chance to look at Ian’s empty spot. He’d taken his clothes, wasn’t sure if Ian was allowed to get changed here or if he left in his boxers.

You Look Awful

tw gay bashing, hatecrime

Ian laughs next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and tugging him close and Mickey laughs back and turns his body into Ian’s. Adrenaline is running through his body and he feels so fucking good right now, it’s the best high he’s ever had.

Mickey's feelings post coming out

Bloody Knife

Ian wasn’t expecting their little trip back to the Southside to end up like this.

‘This’ being the emergency room because Mickey somehow got himself stabbed.

Borrowed Clothes

tw suicidal thoughts, psych ward

The first 24 hours are the hardest.

It’s full of regret on his own behalf, self-loathing and running thoughts of ‘what if’. What if he had been paying more attention, what if he wasn’t so focused on work, what if Mickey had been a good husband?

Body Modifications

tw implied/referenced child abuse

Mickey's always had a love hate relationship with his knuckle tattoos

#shameless #gallavich #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #whumptober #whump #fanfic

78 notes · View notes

baldurs-writers-3 · 1 year ago

Text

Angst: A BG3 Rec List

This week, we have Angst! Check under the cut for 12 fics that include a lot of that oh so tasty pain (both emotional and physical!), and as always, comment and kudos if you like them!

The lick of poison by astarionfreak (4994,Explicit) Warnings: Sex pollen, fuck or die, dubious consent, forced orgasm Pairings: Astarion/Naenia (Fem!Tav)

This is a sex pollen/fuck or die fic. Naenia is the only one affected. Astarion has some complex feelings about consent. It's set in Act 1 in the Underdark.

Reccer says: I liked it!

Daisies On My Nightstand by Thedrowlock on AO3 and bhaalbabebardlock on tumblr (158000,Explicit) Warnings: PLEASE be mindful of all tags and chapter notes especially as you progress through the story. This fic takes a hard, hard dive into dead dove territory at chapter sixty and stays there (the angst stays too). This is an ongoing, updates almost daily longfic. Part one is almost complete. Pairings: Named Dark Urge (Ilara)/Astarion; Ilara/Gortash, Ilara/Shadowheart, Ilara & Raphael, Ilara/A!Astarion

The story of a Bhaal-spawn who only ever wanted her freedom, and how far she'll go to find it.

Reccer says: I liked it!

In Another Life (I Found You) by grovyrosegirl (74380,Mature) Warnings: Violence, Death, Grief, Kidnapping, Emotional/Psychological Abuse Pairings: Gale/Tav

Five years after the Netherbrain’s defeat, Gale and Connie (Tav)’s happy married life is interrupted when Connie is suddenly kidnapped by a mysterious intruder. This intruder turns out to be another Gale, from a world where he claimed the Crown of Karsus.

Reccer says: I liked it!

Deo volente by cyranonic (33529,Mature) Warnings: astarion's past is mentioned, so i guess TW: Astarion :( Pairings: Astarion/Gale

Astarion is having a shitty time post game, miserable without the sun. Gale is having a miserable time as well. Watch them drag each other down even worse!

Reccer says: a darker look than many fics at what could occur after the game is over, with some characters feeling abandoned. Super well written in general, great Astarion voice.

Oathbreaker by Mellybaggins (173240,Explicit) Warnings: Major character death, rape/non-con, religious trauma, some dead dove content Pairings: Tav/Astarion, Tav/Halsin, Tav/OC

A longfic about an oathbreaker paladin navigating the events of the game, and working through her own memories of why she broke her oath.

Reccer says: It seems like a standard Tav fic at first, but takes a sharp turn into OC territory when Raphael messes with her memories.

jackrabbit by tomorrowsrain (15589,Teen) Warnings: past abuse (really, CW: Astarion :( ) Pairings: Astarion & Karlach, Astarion & Wyll

Astarion wakes up on the beach in the sun and realizes he has a chance at becoming a person again. Maybe.

Reccer says: Seriously one of the best examinations of Astarion's transformation during the game from the start of act 1 to mid act 2 that is out there. A treasure to read.

You'll hate me (make love) by astarionfreak (5305,Explicit) Warnings: Character About to Die, Smut, Sad and Sweet, Angst, Bittersweet Pairings: Astarion/Tav

Ascended Astarion pretends to be his spawn self as Tav's dying wish and they fuck on his grave.

Reccer says: I liked it!

Diary of a Dark Consort by NottaBear (8,619 and growing ,Mature) Warnings: Implied/Referenced sexual assault, emotional manipulation Pairings: Named Tav/Ascended Astarion

A found diary style story following the life of a Vampire Lords consort.

Reccer says: I liked it!

i still want to live by fetch_me_penguins (7750,Explicit) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion/Tav, Astarion & Jaheira, Tav & Jaheira

An angsty take on the premise of Cazador kidnapping Tav to replace the spawn she killed on the Ascension ritual and to teach Astarion a lesson on obedience.

Reccer says: I liked it!

Ruin. by Thedrowlock (3859,Explicit) Warnings: Major character death, smut Pairings: Astarion/f! reader

It's been five years since you left The Vampire Ascendant and everything he offered you, but now you're back to handle him. Why is that so hard?

Reccer says: I liked it!

Stolen Futures by onlymine139 (2530,General) Warnings: Major character death Pairings: Gale/Tav

Gale and Tav journey to Waterdeep to start their new life together, only to be interrupted by a devastating realization.

Reccer says: Just some good old fashioned heartbreak.

when the work needs doing, she will see it done by vampireposter (7940,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: The Dark Urge & Jaheira

A small neglected and abused child attempts to assassinate Jaheira, so she adopts her about it

Reccer says:

The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ!

Next week, we’ll be back with Fluff Fics!

#bw3 #Baldurs Gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction #fanfiction #bg3 fanfic #angst #angst rec list #fanfic rec list #astarion #the dark urge #durge #gale dekarios #bw3 rec list

48 notes · View notes

cramberry24 · 20 days ago

Text

I Am No Mother, I Am No Bride, I Am King

It’s update day! We’ve got…a lot to unpack.

Chapter 16: Now I’ve Got That Feeling Once Again, I Can’t Explain, You Would Not Understand

Pairing: Robert Zussman/OFC

Tags: 18+ Minors DNI, Explicit Language, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Period Typical Attitudes, Historical References, Historical Inaccuracy, War, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Medical Inaccuracies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Friendship, Period-Typical Sexism, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Period-Typical Racism, Period-Typical Homophobia, Feminist Themes, Queer Themes, Survivor Guilt, Self-Esteem Issues, Blood and Gore, Graphic Description of Corpses, Protective Robert Zussman, Trauma, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Choking, Buried Alive, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Denial of Feelings, Misunderstandings, Yearning, Mutual Pining, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, no beta we die like, well you know, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Attacks, Suicide Attempt, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Summary: Aachen was supposed to be bad - they lost so many taking that city. It doesn’t take them long to realize the Death Factory is going to be much, much worse. OR Eve adds on to her list of traumatic experiences, Zussman gets drafted into the army's habit of secret-keeping, Red gets big news, and the gang goes for a stroll through the woods.

Chapter specific warnings/TW: Suicide, please tread carefully

Snippet under the cut, its actually not the beginning of the chapter like usual but instead somewhere in the middle (just felt right), full chapter linked in title above

“Angel, you’ll never believe - what are you doing?”

Eve turns, tilting her head at Robbie as he stops in front of her. His hair looks especially fluffy today - focus. Aiello and Stiles are trailing along behind him, the New Yorker snapping at a muttering Stiles. Luna, cradled in Eve’s arms belly up, perks her head up at Robbie’s voice, tail thumping against Eve’s torso. He absent-mindedly gives her a scratch behind her ears, still staring at Eve quizzically.

“We’re seein’ how long she can hold Lady for,” Woods pipes up, answering Robbie’s question. Her squad is lounging around the fire, a fresh pot of coffee brewing.

“Why?”

“Want to know,” Marsh grunts out, shifting on the tree stump he’s sitting on. “Nothin’ better to do.”

“Why?” he asks again, focusing on Eve again this time, and she shrugs. It’s entertaining the boys, so why not. Everyone’s content, everyone’s safe.

“So far she’s at thirty-seven minutes,” Lowe says, checking his watch. “Which means OK is out, he bet thirty-five minutes.”

“You wanna get in on it, Zuss?” Woods asks.

“No.”

“Aw, c’mon-“

“I’m not betting on O’Shea. Besides, we’ll probably get pulled for a patrol before she gets tired and drops her.”

Eve inclines her head. Honestly, that’s the best answer anyone’s given. Shame he won’t put money or a pack of cigs on it.

“What am I not gonna believe?” she asks, getting back to what drew her attention in the first place. Robbie’s eyes spark and he opens his mouth.

“Daniels is gonna be a daddy!”

Aiello speaks before he can even utter a word, and Robbie whips around, smacks the back of his helmet. Aiello swats back at him as he moves for a cup of coffee.

Eve nearly drops the damn dog.

“What?”

Robbie faces forward again, former irritation trading in for glee. “Hazel’s pregnant!”

“Hazel’s pregnant?”

Unable to gesticulate, arms full of Luna, she begins to pace in front of her friend. “Oh, my God. That’s what the letter was about. Christ in heaven, she’s pregnant? Goddamn. What a fuckin’ letter. Red? A dad? Fuck, he’s barely an adult!”

Robbie laughs. “He’s only two years younger than us, angel.”

Eve hums distractedly. Even though she was confident Hazel wasn’t calling it quits, she was still expecting bad news. Hell, anytime she’s gotten a serious letter, it’s because someone’s died. The opposite of death is really throwing her for a loop.

“That’s…fuck, that’s big. How’s Red takin’ it?”

Robbie wilts a bit, genuine concern flooding his expression. “Think he’s gotta take some time, process it. Hell of a letter to open, ya know?”

Red’s become more sullen and snappish with each passing day, still his usual self mostly, just dulled down and tired. This is probably either going to make him worse, or make him better.

“We’re gonna have to pull overtime to make sure farm boy makes it back home,” Robbie jokes, and Eve snorts, rolls her eyes.

“Knowing him, he won’t make it easy for us.”

“This kiddo’s gonna hear all about how Uncle Rob saved his dad’s life and dragged his ass back home at the end of the war.”

That gets an actual laugh out of Eve and she shakes her head, Luna wriggling in her arms. Robbie grins, eyes warm, bumping his shoulder against hers. Being in the forest and surrounded by trees and plant life - what hasn’t been destroyed, at least - only highlights his irises, much to Eve’s frustration. It makes it that much harder not to just sit and stare.

“Can’t believe Red’s gonna be a dad,” Rojas says. OK echoes his agreement from where he’s bent over practicing his letters, Lowe quietly offering corrections.

“He’s gonna be great,” Eve states. “Remember that little French girl? She adored him, and he was so gentle with her.”

“What do you think they’re gonna name ‘im?” Lowe asks.

“Him? What if they have a girl?” Woods replies, scraping at his tin of food. The lanky man is always eating, but no matter how much he vacuums up, he always remains skinny as a beanpole.

“That baby’s gon’ be a Ronald Daniels Junior, mark my words-“

“My gut says a baby girl-“

“Sarge, what does your womanly intuition tell ya?”

“Womanly intuition?” Eve repeats, a smile on her face despite herself. Robbie barks out a laugh.

“Stiles, smack him for me.”

“Hey, wait-“

Stiles dodges Robbie’s deflections, hitting the back of his head with a nice smack.

“What the hell does she know about bein’ a woman?” Aiello grunts out. “She’s more of a man than half the bastards in the company.”

Her boys immediately start protesting and yelling at him. Eve bites her lip, fingers digging into Luna’s fur. He’s not wrong, exactly. Eve’s never been the best at being lady-like. Never managed to fit in with what the world decided a woman should be.

“Don’t listen to ‘im, angel,” Robbie says, catching her eye and grinning slyly. “You’re as womanly as they come. I mean, do I really need to bring up Marigny again-?”

“You bastard.” She kicks his shin, scowling, watching him wince and yelp. “I told you to never bring that up again, Christ! You swore! You swore you wouldn’t mention it again!”

“Mention what?”

“Nothing!”

Robbie shoves at her, laughing now, and she nearly tumbles over. Luna squirms as Eve tries to rebalance herself.

“You fucker-!”

“Shit, Davis is coming-“

At Stiles’ hushes warning, the platoon quickly straightens, their banter falling silent. Eve drops the dog, Luna landing on her feet and shaking. The scrap of red, white, and blue fabric - more a bandana, really - twists around her neck as she sits and scratches at it.

“Everyone gather round!” Turner calls out, and more men from the platoon begin to shuffle over.

“Where’s Daniels?” Stiles hisses out. Robbie’s already on his way over to the tent to grab their friend. Eve watches as Pierson glares at his back before turning his scowling expression on her. Great. Pierson’s in a wonderful mood. She scrunches her face up back at him, resists the urge to stick out her tongue, and his scowl deepens as he looks away.

Davis is blunt and gruff as always as he explains their mission to them today - take Hill 493, or die trying. Eve tunes out the rest of his speech - she hates these infuriating spiels. They’re so obviously fake, but it still helps some of the men, or maybe it just makes them feel better. Whatever. Eve had spent the early morning being briefed with Turner and Pierson, fighting against the clawing despair and fear in her throat. Every day gets worse and worse, but the Germans won’t fall back, won’t give so much as an inch. It’s pissing off command, and if they get pissed off, they take it out on the officers, the noncoms, the grunts, push them even harder, become desperate with their attacks. She’s heard that the Russians have orders to shoot men who don’t push forward in battle - she wonders how close command is to relaying similar orders, because they’re making it pretty damn clear that failure is not an option.

“No mission too difficult. No sacrifice too great.” Turner doesn’t sound any more enthused than Eve feels. “Duty first.”

“I can’t hear you!” Davis barks, and Eve nearly winces. Yeah, the higher ups are pissed.

“No mission too difficult, no sacrifice too great! Duty first!”

Turner’s second try seems to satisfy the colonel, and he nods his head once.

“That’s right. Now, get ready to move out!”

Robbie turns, makes a face at Red and Eve.

“Duty first. Back to the ole meat grinder.”

“Amen, brother.”

Eve wrinkles her nose. “Please don’t call it a meat grinder. Ugh, duty first. Feel like I’m home again, with my ma. Aoibheann, stop complaining. There’s work to do. You’ll rest when you’re dead.”

The boys laugh at the Irish lilt she adds to her tone. She grins, ignores the pang of homesickness in her heart. What she’d give to hear her mom’s voice just one more time.

#i am king #cod ww2 #cod wwii #cod fanfic #robert zussman/ofc #cramberry's compositions #we are on angst mountain and we're not gonna leave for quite a while

5 notes · View notes