#imma just drop it and run lmao

[probablyahazard]

Tagged by @nuclear-cowboy my beloved to do 15 questions, 15 mutuals so here we go

Were you named after anyone? My first name is stolen from a dnd character and a podcast character. My middle name is veeeery technically from a kpop idol? (its an english name tho, latin origin) a friend called me by his name as a joke once. I proceeded to ignore the massive amount of gender euphoria it gave me for like a year in a half. But the name means lucky so I was like 'ha yeah I'll keep it'

When was the last time cried? Idk dude like 24 hours ago? will probably cry later tho. I cry a lot.

Do you have kids? Ha, fuck no. I'm a baby. Also for other......reasons.

Do you use sarcasm alot? Yes? I think? Enough that people used to comment on how sarcastic I was?

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Is it cheating if I just say vibes? idk if i had to hazard (ha) a guess I'd say like either the way they carry themselves or how much they speak.

What’s your eye colour? Brown but like deep brown almost black looking brown type shit.

Any special talents? I'm one of those bitches who's just super good at memorizing quotes. is it practically useful? no. But it's fun. I memorize whole movies for funsies.

Scary movies or happy endings? Both? It depends on my mood? As a kid i was very into scary movies but as I get older and the world happens I appreciate happy endings more which.....ahhh.... ya know?

Where were you born? Aotearoa

What are your hobbies? Reading (so much fucking reading), drawing, writing, dnd and dming (tho that actually happens once in a blue moon), imagining little scenarios. idk dude existing

Do you have any pets? Not currently, I used to have a cat.

What sports do you play/have played? I did fencing for like 5 years, that was my main thing. Idk not really a sports person. as a kid I did miniball, touch rugby, and gym but not of those ever stuck. I always wanted to play football (soccer not the other one) but eh.

How tall are you? short.... (*whispers* like 5'1)

Favourite subject in school? Classics my beloved <3333 also drama and english. and like in theory I liked the content for my art history class but I hated the way we were taught so

Dream job? I do not dream of labor. also I have a lot of fears about not being able to hold a full time job without destroying myself for...Reasons. But like hypothetically I'd love to be a classicist or a graphic designer. or an actor but like ahhhh no.

Tagging the mutuals, sorry. This is probably not like 15 and obviously you don’t have to do this, it’s chill if you just ignore this. anyways, ur all really cool and I hope ur having a good day <3

@ghostgrrll @badfaithbanana @raemae-15 @nightlynymph @watermelon-converse @coffeeshopghost @future-banned-book-recipient @confused-wizard @angelic-flower-universe @merriweather-underground

[megane-sama]

I'm moving to a new place tomorrow and lord im so nervous.

[pygmi-cygni]

Spilled Milk

summary: you realize your husband might be a little spoiled.

I don't think you guys realize how tempted I was to use the king john gif from the animated robin hood because lmao.

cw: john being an annoying brat, free use? but not smut, mentions of sex, imma put this at a spicy rating because nothing that sexy happens, just a bit of touching and kissing.

"John, would you- stop it, I'm in the middle of something," you scolded, dropping a quill as you felt a familiar pair of hands shove under your dressing gown. The warm, sleepy mound of a man ignored you and continued his mission, slumping over you once he was fully groping your soft form. You rolled your eyes and patted his hair affectionately.

"Want," he mumbled, nipping a little too hard under your ear. You sighed.

"Maybe a please, dear?"

"No."

He tugged at the laces of your dress, grumbling when they got stuck. You swatted his hands away, ignoring his scowl.

It was barely morning and you'd just gotten dressed. The chambers were roasting - John couldn't sleep if it felt less than mid-July and you hated the heat. Deciding to do your writing in the library, you basked in the cool air of downstairs.

Clearly, this had not satisfied all parties.

John had dragged a quilt around himself with nothing else, the nerve and waltzed downstairs, groaning loud enough to wake the staff.

"If you vowed to love me till death, why are you betraying me?" He groused, resolving to press as close to your back as possible. The dramatics were in full force this morning, apparently.

"I'm not betraying you, John, it's seven in the morning. Get dressed, dearest."

Again at breakfast, he got up from his end of the table and walked over, planting a big wet kiss on your mouth. You were halfway through chewing. Yelping, you pushed his face away and coughed delicately into your napkin.

"Wh-"

Reclaiming his prize, John not-very-subtly reached his hand to your thigh, stroking as he kissed your jaw. The waitstaff looked politely away. Once his craving had been sated and your reputation sufficiently tarnished, John returned to his seat and finished his meal.

"John Lackland," you sputtered, utensils limp in your hands. He looked up from his bowl and paused, taking in your furiously disheveled appearance. A moment of tense silence.

"Do not ever-"

"I do like it when you say my name, darling." With that piece de resistance, he pushed away from the table and strode off, airily announcing he had a hunting date with a lord in Loxley.

One of the senior maids eyeballed you as she cleaned up. You sat, jaw clenched in tense focus, before smiling politely and walking briskly to your chambers.

John would be gone the rest of the day, thankfully leaving you to enjoy your day without interruption.

Good. You had things to do.

He'd found you hours later, reading in the garden. You heard his loud, strong strides crunching along the path and continued to read, counting the seconds until your cloak was pulled of your shoulders.

"Hello, flower," he purred, diving his sweaty head of curls into your neck. Christ alive, he was filthy.

"Have you bathed?" you asked chidingly, tugging a leaf out of his curls. He mumbled noncommittally and kissed you regardless. It was a sweet, pleasant kiss that warmed the tips of your fingers. A chilly breeze blew through the vale, rustling the rosebushes.

"I'm cold," he complained, "why are you reading outside?"

"I like the fresh air."

"But I can't kiss you outside." His dark blue eyes were pinched and frustrated with your resilience.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm cold," he enunciated. You scoffed and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Go bathe, John, I'll be inside soon."

He stood, dumfounded by your lack of affection. Of course you wanted to hold him and kiss him, but it was the afternoon, and you had things to do, and he could wait a damn second. And, his expression was funnier than any jester you'd invited for a gala.

You raised your eyebrow and pinched his cheek. "Run along, the water won't be getting any warmer."

While he strode off grumpily to clean up, you hurried to the bedroom. You had some things to prepare.

You sat on the bed, back to the door, a knowing smile on your face. John always took his baths in the evening, because he liked to take a 'nightcap' right after. Obviously, this would ruin the cleanliness, forcing him to take a bath in the morning, prompting another session, which...well, you get the idea.

A great yawn came from the adjoining washroom, and John waltzed up to the bed, bare naked and grinning like a coyote. His warm, damp cheek nestled against yours, and you felt the hard planes of his chest against your shoulders while he played with your hair.

"I've finished my bath," he announced, chin held high. Snorting, you put aside your embroidery and scratched his chin.

"Yes, how noble of you. Did you wash behind your ears?"

He sent you a sour look, prompting another giggle.

"Don't mother me," he groused, hands worming under your nightgown. He sighed contentedly, palms cupped warmly over your breasts. You inhaled sharply and shivered at the pleasant feeling. John's rough hands smoothed appreciatively over your waist, and you could feel his lips sucking at your neck.

You let him have his fun, then abruptly pulled away. A slight twinge of regret at the loss of his warm body, but his affronted expression made up for it.

"John, it's evening. You need to dress for bed," you said gently, adjusting your nightgown.

He blinked, confused.

"John-"

"Who are you, and what have you done with my wife?" His eyes were narrowed and he folded his brawny arms over his chest. The sight of his golden skin made you falter momentarily, eyes skating downwards.

You sat further away, pushing a smile from your cheeks. When he reached for you and you retreated, his lip curled, slightly amused.

"Are you playing games, flower? Well, my legs are longer and-"

"If you don't dress for bed, I'll never touch you again for as long as I live."

He gasped, eyes burning in an offended scowl. You wished to take it back, the bewildered hurt in his eyes was endearing. John stood, naked and scolded, for a moment, until he complied. Stomping to the dresser, he threw open the doors and yanked out a linen shirt. You watched with baffled amazement as he dressed in record time, slamming drawers and dropping obscenities.

Huffing, he stood at the foot of your bed, face twisted in a pout. You bit your lip, unable to resist.

"Your buttons are wrong, my love."

"Oh, damn it all to-aaagh," he fussed, fumbling for his neckline and wrenching the buttons closed. You grinned primly from under the coverlet, eyes glittering in the candlelight. John, finally righted, stomped over and shoved himself under the covers. He hesitated, then turned completely away from you.

You watched his still-wet curls soak the pillowcase. After a moment of silence, you began to worry. Inching closer, you rested a hand on his forearm.

"John?" Your voice was light, caring. He huffed and scooted away, nearly hanging off the bed.

"You'll fall off, silly thing, come here," you tugged him backwards. He held strong for a moment, but relented when you stroked his hair. A terrific sigh blew up his bangs, and he cast you with a dramatic eye roll.

"Why am I being persecuted?" He asked, voice petulant. Ah yes, what a reasonable man. Persecuted, he says.

"I'm not mad at you, John," you started, ruffling his curls fondly. His scowl melted a bit as you spoke gently. "There's just some...things we need to work out."

He pursed his lips, suspicious, but let you continue.

"You have a habit, dear. A very...tactile habit, and one that usually I enjoy-" he smirked- "but really, John? At breakfast?"

Realizing you were genuinely trying to convince him of something, he begrudgingly straightened up, curls matted and sticking up. You paused in your attention for a second, letting him ponder over the idea.

"All that to say," you continued, gauging his blank stare, "if you could contain your attention to this room, that would be just fine. But you've gotten a bit greedy in the out-of-doors, and people talk." You kissed his cheek softly and smiled at the flush across his nose.

John scowled.

"But love," he whined, "am I to just look at you all other hours of the day?"

You shrugged, nestling back under the covers. "You'll piece it together, dearest. Now turn over, I'm tired."

He was quiet then, the subtle muttering of his crossness just noticeable over the crickets outside.

You felt something warm and distinctly damp shove itself under your nightgown. Shrieking, your eyes shot open and you pushed his face away from your chest.

"John-"

"We are in this room, are we not?" His eyes sparkled mischievously and he winked. "And I haven't had my dessert."

You rolled your eyes, smiling in defeat. "I suppose."

A barrage of tickling kisses was pressed to your ribs, cascading the both of you in laughter.

tags!! comment to join xox ty for reading

@krakenkitty @ominoose @bulletgoth @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @justsomeonecalledemma

@iolaussharpe-24 @rosegnome @twwcs @heeheehoohoofictimr @steven-grants-world

@ael-xander @to-be-a-sunshine @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @silvernight-m @lonelyisamyw-0love @unear7hly

[jwirecs]

RECOMMENDED SEVENTEEN FICS OF NOVEMBER 2023💖

hello, hello! here are my recs for seventeen for november! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

Loud Leather & Loud Thoughts || @bitchlessdino💕💔✅💯

↳ Hard to maintain a good acquaintanceship if it started off on the wrong foot, but Wonwoo tries to do just that, no matter how much you resent him from childhood. Now reunited as adults, you’re questioning whether your negative impression of him has stuck since being away or have you grown up just enough to realize how much between the two you have changed?. (bitchlessdino aint gon be bitchless no longer cause honey, i will be on my knees for your fics. biker!wonwoo is my new guilty pleasure.)

Too Much || @hannieehaee🔞💕✅💯💯

↳ after a few weeks of constant overtime work slouching over a desk, you feel as if your back is about to give out on you. fortunately for you, your best friend seungcheol is a professional masseuse! unfortunately for you, you're unsure of how you'll keep your crush on your best friend at bay while on his massage bed, ass up and oiled up. (the last time i had a massage, i swear i thought the masseuse broke my arm cause of a loud pop. scared me and the masseuse LMAO, but we okay. but can you imagine, cheols hands....im just gonna stop there. let the imagination run)

Always Only You || @honeyhotteoks🔞💕💔✅💯💯💯

↳ the date was terrible, awful even, but you just can't call your brother to pick you up. you have to call his best friend instead. (brb imma need a hot minute to relive this fic. like no joke, my ass will be in the corning if you need me. bottom line, i absolutely loved this one)

5 More Minutes || @qmrzi💕✅

↳ jihoon is working on a song before your date together and you got impatient. (he really would be the type to say 5 more minutes of work before a date. desperate times calls for desperate measures. i respect the oc's hustle.)

Bedroom Exclusive || @onlyhuis🔞💕💔✅💯

↳ seeing your boyfriend on tv kissing another girl definitely doesn't feel good, but he's got plenty of time to make it up to you. and he plans on letting you know that you're the only one on his mind. (AFTER THAT VID OF HIM IN THAT DRAMA WITH THAT ONE SCENE???? OHHHHHHHHHHHHH CHILD. another fic where i had to take a moment to breathe after i finished reading it. that says a whole lot my friends.)

Just The Tip || @euphor1a🔞💕💔✅💯💯

↳ he tried his best, he really did. but lord, for how long could he control himself when you looked like a pretty, little angel, all his to ruin? (you gotta give it to mingyu for resisting the urge throughout the story. flash a titty and this man will crumble to the ground. i love it.)

Now You're Safe With Me || @thedensworld💕💔✅💯

↳ Seungcheol received several missed calls from you, and he knew they weren't just regular phone calls. (stop this bby boy will drop heaven and earth to be with his boo. lets all pray that i get a man like him.)

Spotted: Woozi At Couples Therapy? || @mphountitled🔞💕💔✅

↳ A kink confession in couple's therapy might just save your relationship (i think its safe to say that this man is lowkey kinky af. lets be real. the dudes prob kinky.)

Sweet Home || @mangocustard16💕✅

↳ Mingyu returns home after a grueling practice to find you asleep on the couch, having waited for him despite his advice not to. He lifts you into his arms, shares a loving dinner, and the two of you cuddle in each other's embrace. (god soft mingyu is cute af. SOMEONE GET ME A MINGYU PLS)

To Be In Love || @daegutowns💕✅

↳ (a lil ol fic of oc's relationship with cheol. ngl oc is literally the mom of the group now. adopted 11 other children once they got with cheol. i love that for them)

Bloodily Safe || @starlightxsvt🔞💕✅💯

↳ you have a little secret. one you are desperately hiding. yet the boy you have a crush on has figured it out. now a game of cat and mouse has begun. how do you make it out alive? (oooh child. this one. had me questioning what the heck do i read on here, but then again, i fully enjoyed it LMAO)

Clingy || @facioleeknow💕💔✅

↳ Anon Req: hi!! saw that you're taking request!! how about something like jeonghan get annoyed by the reader because he thinks reader is too clingy lately so he decided to put some distance, end up with something bad happens to reader and he regrets everything he did? angst to fluff pls thank u so much 😭🫶 (oooh mean jeonghan is lowkey my guilty pleasure. someone give me some more mean jeonghan which turns into fluff please.)

Creep || @smileysuh🔞✅💯💯💯

↳ “If the roles were reversed - if you were a ghost bound to this apartment forever - you’re saying you wouldn’t watch me get naked every day?” He’s definitely got a point. As your eyes skim Mingyu's perfect form again, that tingle returns between your legs. There’s no reason for him to be as sexy as he is- murders aren’t the only shocking thing this man has under his belt and you can see that now.  (ngl, i hope theres gonna be a second part just about how they would like overcome(????) the hardships(?????????) idk if those are the right words. but like how they would deal with one being a ghost and all that jazz. like down the line how will that work out. BUT other than that, i honestly love their fics to god.)

Driving Lessons For Dummies || @shuaflix🔞💕✅

↳ you've finally passed your written test and gotten your permit after six failed attempts. eager to get your license while attempting to avoid overpriced driving lessons, you enlist the help of kwon soonyoung, who only requires a STIIZY pod as payment. (lowkey got a fear of driving but thats something else LMAO. i respect all of the driving teachers, cause like they risking their life essentially, so i respect hoshi for risking his life with teaching the oc driving. goodluck to my future boo cause imma be the passenger princess in the relationship.)

In Between Notes || @som1ig💕💔✅

↳ after complaining for the hundredth time to your friends, you finally manage to take time to read a book unrelated to law studies. since you can’t borrow it, you decide to leave a note on the page where you left off with a comment. the next day, when you come back to reread it, you surprisingly find a note replacing yours. someone read the same book as you and answered you. then begin an epistolary exchange through notes and book, until it suddenly stops. and no, you won’t give up until you find who your correspondent was. (minghao is such a cutie, stop. connecting through notes through a book is adorable af. literally cinderella)

Love You Twice || @toruro🔞💕💔🔄

↳ in which your extremely hot and sexy one night stand turns out to be your son’s teacher. naturally, chaos ensues, but you might just find love as your life continues to take an unexpected turn. (teacher woo is satan. dont come for me but yall know this man probably has 0 patience. no scratch that, this man has too much patience. he will wait if he has to. step daddy woo. yes pls)

Accidentally Ditching You On your Bday || @hannieehaee💔✅

↳ (title says it all. i love how i can just put myself in the oc's shoes and FEEL THE EMOTIONS. when you arent in a relationship, you through yourself in the oc shoes and live through them. that being said, them boys who "accidentally" ditch you on your birthday can choke on a piece of rice. with love.)

Petite S/O Trying to Kiss Them || @seokminded💕✅💯

↳ (its the hhu again - im short, most us females are short so we can highly relate to this struggle. LMAO)

Playfully Dodging Their Kisses || @mangocustard16💕✅💯

↳ (its the hhu but, do you hear their pouts??? you can literally hear their pouts. each any every one of them i swear to god.)

Forgetting Your B-Day || @toruro💕💔✅

↳ (there isnt a summary but - 95 line forgetting your birthday. brb let me go quickly cry, as someone who doesnt really celebrate their birthday as like a big thing since we just aging, but this would hit me hard if i was in a relationship ngl.)

Do check out all of the other seventeen fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

[melinoelliones]

Meliodas - NSFW ALPHABET

Imma probably do this with a few of the SDS’s characters but imma start with my man <3 If you have any requests drop them in my inbox or comment!! 

Our opinions may be different so don’t jump me LMAO! There are x Fem Reader and X GN Reader

This has been queued for Saturday the 3rd of June n I’ve never done this queue thing before so I pray it works. I am currently super sick from con so bare with me ya’ll.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Meliodas is veryyy touchy feely as we know so he defo wants to be close to you. Probably wraps you up in a blanket and holds you as close to him as physically possible. Wants to make sure you are comfy and feelin okay. Covers you with kisses and tells you how well you did and he’s proud of you. If you’re not too tired he’d defo run you a bath and help bathe you, making sure to be super gentle with you.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favourite body part on himself is probably his torso and above. He’s got an impressive set of muscles so I can see him showin em off now and then. Probably loves to show you how easily he can move you wink wink

His favourite body part of yours would be chest, ass and thighs. We all know he’s a titty person but I know for a FACT he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to have his head between your thighs.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I wanna say he’d love to see it on that pretty face of yours along with in your mouth. Seeing it drip down the sides of your mouth as you attempt to take every drop.

I also think on your breasts, seeing it run down them is a sight he’d never want to forget.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Barely a secret but he loves to fuck you in public, especially in risky places. Like during rush hour at the Boar Hat he slips you into the closet downstairs, or he’ll have you standing behind the bar while he eats you out on his knees, you struggling to take orders as he does it. Defo likes to play with you under the table at the Sins meeting too, 98% sure everyone knows what he’s doing but acts oblivious. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

You was his first and vice versa. He defo knows what he’s doing and is always down for experimenting.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying)

Reverse cowgirl is one of them, he loves to see himself sliding in and out of you along with your ass

Us riding him, he’s a tits guy so having them bounce in his face while you’re taking him all in is like a 2 in one. Bonus points if he gets one in his mouth, he loves to suck on them while you struggle to keep going.

Doggy, especially after a rough day. He wants nothing more than to see how you moan and tear up as he pounds into you with absolutely zero remorse. Seeing how you desperately cry out for him to be rougher with you is a sight to see

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Helloooo its Meliodas we are talking about. It wouldn’t be Meli if he didn’t crack a joke here and there. Loves to make you laugh regardless so if he can while fucking you why wouldn’t he?

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I will die on this hill but I think he keeps himself trimmed pretty good! He ain’t naked or anything but keeps it nice. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Depends. Most of the time he’s superrrr intimate, showering you will kisses and sweet talking you. But other times not so much but there is a BALANCE!! He will always show you a sweet side though, even during the roughest of sessions.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He can defo jack off to just the thought of you alone. I don’t wanna say its often as he’s around you 24/7 and would prefer to do it with you/in you than alone, but if he’s super pent up then aye, gotta do what ya gotta do. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

THIS IS MY OPINION BUT

Breeding kink for sure. Dude wants nothing more than to breed you, to fill you up to the brim and see you pregnant. The thought of you holding his child is one that sits in his mind constantly.

Dumbification, fucking you till you can’t even form a thought in your mind. The only thing you can do is cry out for more of him. 

Restraints, this is pretty canon anyway but yeah. He loves to be tied up while you get full control to do whatever you please with his body, wether that be for his satisfaction or yours he does not care as long as you’re happy. He also likes to tie you up and watch your body twitch as he plays with you.

Somnophilia, he thinks you look so pretty and innocent while you sleep. On more than one occasion he has defo eaten you out whilst you slept, waking you up with the mother of all orgasms. When he’s come home late from being with the sins he has used your body to help him relieve some stress. ALL 100% CONSENSUAL BETWEEN YOU TWO! 

Uniforms, he loves to fuck you in your Boar Hat uniform. He designed it so of course yours is a tiny bit smaller than the others, along with extra openings for easy access. He has several different versions of the uniform so you get to test them all.

Breast fucking for sureeeee. He loves your tits, so having his cock between them is a dream come true.

Also the thought of being seen turns him on to the MAX! Having people see how good he fucks you and how he makes you feel. 

L = Location (favourite places to do they do)

He loves anywhere in the Boar Hat; over the tables, on the counter, against the door. Eating you out on the tables or counter is his favourite pastime. He also loves the bedroom, your face full of pillow n tears while he rams into you, loves it. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You, just you. Anything you do honestly.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

I feel like he’s down for almost anything but doesn’t want anything to do with like knives or blood. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers to give than receive but he loves to receive. Would give anything to have you sit on his face after a long day, he’d gladly eat you out while you tell him all about it. You are his favourite meal.

“What’s up, why the long face? Come sit on my face while you tell me”

He likes to receive too but it’s not a necessity, seeing you attempt to make him feel good is a major turn on though. You on your knees, his cock down your throat with tears in your eyes, he adores it. He gives you all the praise as you suck him off. 

“Look at you, you're doing such a good job”, he’d coo as he’d stroke the side of your face whilst deepthroating him.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

All of the above. 

Sometimes he’ll be super rough, demon mark showing and all while he pounds into you to the point where you’re almost drooling. No thoughts in your mind, only his name ringing through. Dirty talk all the way.

Other times he’s super slow and intimate, taking his time so you can enjoy every feeling, every movement. Smothering you in love bites and comments as he pulls in and out of you.

During quickies it's a mix of both.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

HE LIVESSSS FOR A QUICKIE! Especially since the sins are always on the go, they need to be able to do it anywhere and FAST. I wanna say y'all have them several times a week, he’s always up for em. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He is the definition of risk taker. The sins are coming back and there's like 5 minutes till they get back? Okay lets fuck right here on this table before they make it. Oh the King is coming downstairs? Let's have a quickie before he gets here. Like he does not CAREEEEEEE! 

He also loves to experiment. Anything you wanna try he will do and if he has an idea he will always bring it up to you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Demon Kings first born, dude has stamina for days. He could go like 4 rounds without breakin a sweat. You are his weakness though so sometimes he won’t last very long in you, like if you’re begging and whining out for him.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He has toys for you, for when he is gone and can’t bring you. He also loves to edge you with a vibrator then take over. He lets you have free reign when it comes to toys for him, whatever you want him to try he’s open. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh he’s a teaser! Sometimes he can be super mean and leave you for a considerable amount of time until you lose your orgasm before going back. But only sometimes, regardless he does love to see you beg for him to let you come or beg for him to touch you and make you feel good.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He isn’t super loud unless like you’re sucking him off, he defo whimpers and whines a little when you do it, a few hisses and curses too.

He loves when you’re super loud though, he wants everyone to know how well he fucks you. He legit does not care who can hear as long as they can hear. Wants to hear you moan out his name through the tavern.

The sins hate it but then they invested in soundproof walls LMAO. 

W = Wild card (a random dirty headcanon for the character)

Okay this one is kinda random and i’m 50/50 on it but he wants to see Ban fuck you. He wants to watch it. Watch how Ban attempts to outdo him but knows he could never as you shoot him a wink or a moan he knows is fake. That or a threesome with you and Ban. He’d take front to see your pretty little face while Ban takes back.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Meli is big, don’t care what anyone says. He is girthy and veiny. Maybe not super long but trust me, the girth alone will have you on cloud 9. Let's say 6/7 inches ish.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Crazy high. Ya’ll are defo fucking almost everyday, wether that be quickies or long sessions, its pretty much everyday. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He will always wait for you to be in a deep sleep before even thinking about passing out. He will hold you close to him on his chest until he hears your soft snores, gives you a kiss on the top of your head and THEN falls asleep. He can’t sleep unless he knows you feel safe and comfortable.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Sunday Service

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU

Liked by jackharlow, saweetie, theestallion, urbanwyatt, jaysontatum, druski2funny, privategarden, and 1,286,004 others

y/ninsta: I'm Backkkkkkkkkkkk. Did you miss me? Sunday Service dropping Friday. Pre save it now! 😘💕

normani: well it's about damn time! saweetie: we stan. what paprika gonna say about this one? blancahood: PAPRIKA?!?! HELPPPPPPPPPP theestallion: can't wait for this, I know my good sis is about to EAT y/ninsta: saweetie you are a hot ass mess and you know it lmao dualipa: glad to see that jackharlow is letting you out the house more these days jackharlow: now why am I in it? dualipa don't start with me today, my kids got me stressed out enough and you are NOT helping claybornharlow: produced by the one and only little baby saweetie: y/ninsta I call it like I see it. We make pretty bitch music and there's nothing but talent on this end. can't say the same thing about her. Tryna throw shade and I'm about to throw the whole damn rainforest. don't come for my bestie who isn't thinking about you jackandy/naremyparents: MUVA is backkkkkkk!!! dualipa: jackharlow send them my way and I guarantee you that they are about to be on their best behavior jackharlow: dualipa not with the youngest one starting to bite people y/ninsta: jackharlow AHT AHT! she was probably hungry and we know you can't cook. not too much on my youngest now. druski2funny: I knew from the beginning that those triplets were going to be problem children y/ninsta: druski2funny leave my babies aloneeeee the only problem child I have is jackharlow jessicakelce: saweetie said what she said and ate and left no crumbs y/ninsta: saweetie only one of us is going to be here for the long run and it's the one who's married to jackharlow 😜 allthingsy/n: talk yo shit mamas, at least we know you can back it up jackharlow: everyday I stray further and further from knowing what peace feels like and not you calling me a problem child smh saweetie: y/ninsta OOP let her know! between her and the girl that has a daddy with no neck, they coming for the wrong person urbanwyatt: saweetie NOT THE DADDY WITH NO NECK quiiso: 😭😭😭😭😭😭 y/ninsta: jackharlow love you smush 😘

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, taylorrooks, saweetie, 2forwoyne, cardib, sza, and 2,065,139 others

y/ninsta: every time yall book me with them hoes it's gon be big drama 🤭🤭

blancahood: here for the pettiness and the pettiness only y/ninsta: blancahood I'm innocent sis saweetie: y/ninsta well I'm not. STREAM SUNDAY SERVICE!!!! 2forwoyne: GET IN THE BOOTH BITCH theestallion: hard work and grinding pays off. what a luxury it is to shoot up the charts by being a tik tok rapper without actual talent. when I see her imma tell her to freestyle on the spot. jessicakelce: theestallion don't set yourself up to be disappointed like that lmao cardib: yall messy in these comments and I'M HERE FOR IT allthingsy/n: one thing's for sure and two thing's for certain, y/ninsta's girls are always going to have her back sza: now we all know y/ninsta can fight and I would never want to be on the receiving end soooo good luck with that lol y/ninsta: sza that is the old me! I'm mature now! jackharlow: y/ninsta this morning you tried to fight the delivery guy because he dropped your package y/ninsta: jackharlow he damn near threw that shit. it had FRAGILE written on it and he was acting like he couldn't read. not my damn fault. he was asking for it. jackharlow: ladies and gentlemen, my wife y/ninsta urbanwyatt: y/ninsta I fully support your actions jackharlow: urbanwyatt DON'T ENCOURAGE HER claybornharlow: y/ninsta I support you too, forever and always y/ninsta: the people love me, jackharlow get with the program jackharlow: y/ninsta just terrorizing me since day one smh y/ninsta: jackharlow would it help if I told you that your money paid for what was in the package? jackharlow: beat his ass

Liked by jackharlow, saweetie, neelamthadhani, urbanwyatt, normani, champagnepapi, theshaderoom, and 2,816,002 others

y/ninsta: when you ask your husband to send you a selfie because you miss him. Look at my pookie 🥹

I love you long time big baby 😘💕

jackharlow: 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈 jaysontatum: he knows where home is y/ninsta: jayson, don't you muthafuckin start with me urbanwyatt: the girlies are fightinggggggggg druski2funny: wait, what about me?! y/ninsta: keyword: HUSBAND. as in he's MINE. go and find yall own smh jackharlow: y/ninsta remember that one time you told me to try and return you without the receipt? the receipt being our marriage certificate that you tried to set on fire when you were drunk? y/ninsta: jackharlow that is my past and therefore I do not live there anymore saweetie: lmaooooooooo urbanwyatt: all I remember is her having matches and running with them as jackharlow was jumping over couches to try and stop her. good times. jackharlow: urbanwyatt you would encourage this smh urbanwyatt: jackharlow that's my bestie and imma stick beside her jackharlow: urbanwyatt AND I'M NOT? urbanwyatt: jackharlow you are, I just love to see her terrorizing you jackharlow: smh it be your own first born y/ninsta: two more days until I get to see my big babyyyyyyy jackharlow: you better be ready for me 👀 y/ninsta: jackharlow if you stay ready, you ain't gotta get ready 👀

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, cardib, taylorrooks, generationnow, shloob_, softtcurse, blancahood, and 1,843,951 others

y/ninsta: oh look, it's my husband 😍😍😍

You are such a dad now and that's what the outfit is giving lmao jackharlow 🤣🤣

jackharlow: these damn kids got me fighting for my life smh y/ninsta: jackharlow and yet you want more? jackharlow: y/ninsta we're having a basketball team y/ninsta: jackharlow in what universe and with whose vagina? saweetie: you gonna fold one way or another. you always do. y/ninsta: saweetie don't encourage him urbanwyatt: the fact that he was almost late because of baby number three y/ninsta: urbanwyatt she is the no limit soldier lmao jack can't tell her no because she looks like him, but acts like me dualipa: y/ninsta if you need me to save you, blink twice jessicakelce: dualipa lmaooooooo jackharlow: dualipa you, y/ninsta, claybornharlow and my kids be the reason I'm stressed all the time and I don't like it claybornharlow: I am literally just sitting here minding my business jackharlow: claybornharlow THIS TIME and this is a rare occurrence y/ninsta: cut it out you two! smh, I'm already raising enough children between my triplets, jack, my pets, and pg 2forwoyne: now what did we do this time?! y/ninsta: 2forwoyne idk, but I'll find out soon enough because I always do jackharlow: y/ninsta not you calling me one of the children again y/ninsta: jackharlow a mother's job is never done, maggieharlow BACK ME UP maggieharlow: y/ninsta I did what I could with him, and he's your responsibility now lol jackharlow: not yall throwing me under the bus smh saweetie: jackharlow they more so catapulted you lmao

[amourtoken]

just thinking about being overstimulated by ruby...half of the time he doesn't do it on purpose but when he does he's on a MISSION.

and also just him being the fuckin sweetest ;( always managing to brag about you/bring you up in a sly manner during one of their very few interviews. constantly calling and texting you bc he wanted to 'hear your voice/ask if you wanted to hang out' bc he loves having u around

UGHGDGGHHH yeah. (Also I had an ask recently for a ruby/plus size reader so imma mix that in here for the sake of time lmao thnx nonnie who asked for it <3)

You're his prized possession, truly. Every chance he gets he's gushing about you and your achievements or little things he loves about you. Every interview he manages to sneak in a few comments about his sweet little gf and it always makes your heart swell cause it proves he's always got you on his mind. When he's on the road without you, you barely get a break from him then either (not that you wanted one anyway). He's constantly calling, texting, facetiming, anything he can to stay in touch and hear your pretty voice :(((

If everything else in his life is hard, you're the softest thing imaginable. When he comes home and you immediately drop everything to nearly tackle him in a hug and press a thousand kisses all over his face he really does feel all the stress of the day slide off his body instantly. He'd absolutely sweep you off your feet when you're hugging him, either holding you bridal style or wrapping your legs around his waist just to get you closer to him. It's been too long, any amount of time away from you is too long. He decides to show you just how much he missed you.

You're a giggly mess when he drops you on the bed, hands immediately tugging your pants down your legs as you lift your hips to help him out. He'll never get tired of these moments, every time he sees you naked it's like the first time and he feels kinda dumb for it but his heartbeat races in his chest and his hands get a little shaky in anticipation. He really can't get enough of how soft you are in contrast to him either, inside and out. Thick thighs, plush hips, soft tummy, all of it. He's fucking addicted. You're sat at the edge of the bed, legs spread for him and arms reaching for him, trying to pull him into bed but he's busy admiring the view. He'll never get tired of the way you're always so ready for him, or the pretty little sounds you make when he leans over you and runs two of his fingers through the slick mess between your legs.

You make the prettiest noises, it just fuels him. He needs to hear more. He drags your hips closer to the edge of the bed and settles on his knees, his hands behind yours to push your legs apart so he has easy access. You whine and your back arches off the bed when he buries his face in your pussy, you can literally feel him smiling while he eats you out, what a dick. You go to lace your fingers in his hair but he pulls back to reprimand you, making you keep your hands to yourself and above your head.

"You can keep 'em there yourself or I can tie 'em to the fuckin' headboard. Your choice."

now you're nearly convulsing and your hands are shaking while he fucks you with his tongue, nose brushing your clit every so often making your hips bucks off the bed but he quickly presses them back down. The coil in your belly is tightening insanely fast, maybe cause it's been a while since you've seen him or maybe it's the experience as a whole but either way you know you can't hang on much longer. You whine and beg for him to fuck you right so you can cum on his cock but he assures you this won't be the only time you cum tonight, you're filled with both excitement and dread. You don't have much time to ruminate though when he releases one of your knees to sink two fingers knuckle deep in your pussy while he sucks at your clit until your vision is blurry. You cum with a yelp of his name and he adds a third finger, slowing his rhythm so you can really ride the feeling out. The only thing is that he doesn't stop as you start to come down, he lets go of your other leg to tease your clit with his hand and you're struggling to keep your hands above your head while he continues.

The burning overstimulating feeling picks up quickly but you can't bring yourself to stop him, he leans over you to spit on your pussy for extra lube, your head is pressed back into the sheets and your chest heaving while Ruby works to pull another orgasm from you. It doesn't even take long, but right as you cum he fumbles with his sweats, tugging them down just enough to free his cock so he can sink into you while you ride out your second high. He groans at the feeling of you pulsing around him, fingers digging into your hips to keep you steady (or maybe himself tbh). You feel so full you could cry, especially when Ruby presses himself as deep as he can get, grinding right up against your cervix and laughing when your voice breaks into the most pathetic moan imaginable.

"Fuck- always so fuckin' good for me- lettin' me do whatever the fuck I want to you. You're such a slut. Just for me though, yeah?"

you try to respond but he pulls out to the tip and slams back into you just as you start, immediately stealing all the breath from your lungs and words from your mouth. Your lower half feels like it's on fire at this point but fuck it feels so good at the same time. Ruby holds himself up with a hand next to your head and his other hand slides between you to resume his torture on your abused clit. You squeeze him so fucking tight when you get close he can't help but edge you for a while, dragging you right to the moment before your orgasm before pulling his hand away entirely and slowing his thrusts. You're pouty and teary eyed by now, just pleading with him to let you cum or to stop because the feeling is too much.

"Maybe if you ask right I'll let you cum on my cock. Use your words baby, say 'please daddy let me cum' like a good girl"

Your brain is too fried to argue and you're right at the edge again, legs shaking pathetically and stomach tensing. You immediately repeat his words like a mantra, fat tears running down your cheeks by now at the feeling of his cock nailing that perfect spot inside you over and over. Ruby delivers on his promise, speeding up his assault on your clit until the coil in your tummy unwinds and has you screaming. He immediately pulls his hand off and presses it to your lower stomach, fucking himself into you hard enough to feel his tip against his palm through your belly.

"That's right- fuck- good girl, good fuckin' girl-"

he doesn't let up on his thrusts until he's spilling inside you and your vision is swimming with black spots, he's panting above you and you can feel all the excess cum dripping out of you around his dick and onto the sheets but that's a mess to worry about later. You're just starting to slowly recover when he picks you up off the bed, both arms wrapped under your legs for support and presses your back to the wall next to your bed, fucking himself into your slowly still. His face is pressed against your neck and his breath keeps getting caught I'm his throat. Sure he started this to overstimulate the hell out of you but now it's his turn to torture himself a little.

[paperstarwriters]

Thinking about Dungeon Meshi & The Arcana again. (spoilers for everything up to episode 13 in the anime & a few minor Spoilers for the manga)

Messy rambling below

Like besides the already discussed fact that Senshi should definitely teach Muriel the three simple rules for a strong body as well as the fact that Laios would instantly attach himself to Muriel for being familiar with the monsters (fae) of the forest, I feel like I have to a dress the other characters of the party lmao

To begin with some non-spoiler points, Asra and Laios would get along AMAZINGLY. Like weird food? Knowledge of monsters/fae check, these two will be eating their way though the faerie ecosystem (with care not to take too much of course), just taste testing the dishes to see how the inhuman meat would taste. If given the chance, they’d 110% start swapping dishes (“oh! You’ve never tried a blue-tongued skink?? Oh you have to taste it!!” “What?! You’ve never eaten living armor before?! I have to get you some!!) ((I know blue tounged skink aren't technically fae cause they exist in our world too but tbh salamanders exist in our world too but they don't breathe fire so Imma just go with the assumption that it's magical in some way too)

I also feel like Laios would get along pretty well with Portia, but he'd get along in the same way that he gets along with Senshi, or Falin, as Portia would be fascinated with his adventures, and though maybe she'd be a little weary of the descriptions of food made from monsters I feel like she'd warm up to it over time.

Related to that, Senshi and Portia are a duo to be feared. Bread, bread, bread and so much more bread, Portia helps Senshi familiarize himself with the basic ingredients of the city, and when she catches wind of Senshi's plans for Muriel she is all in to help, and even might feel a little bad having not known about it before (Senshi consoles her of course, and the two begin work on making delicious meals for everyone to share; back at the hut, sitting awkwardly waiting for Senshi because he didn't really wanna go to the market, Muriel feels a chill run down his spine and feels like he's vaguely in danger)

(Minor spoilers for the manga—NOT PLOT RELEVANT) But Nadia and Marcille would get along SO well. Mostly because Nadia kinda fits her ideal type lmao. Not perfectly mind you, since Julian has the eyepatch but tall beautiful, long haired royalty on horseback is her JAM. Nadia comes up to Muriel's hut on horseback while she's busy scholding Laios for trying to convince another person to start eating monsters and Marcille's jaw just drops. She nods and listens with awe and respect to everything Nadia says while Chilchuck is left sighing in the background

Speaking of the guy, I think Chilchuck would be mildly fond of Muriel. He'd probably be pretty jealous of his size and strength though, and will probably be kinda bitter at seeing him be a coward (or he'll call him smart, and encourage the cowardice, depends on the situation and how much he sees being a "scaredy cat" helps) This is only really because he struggles himself with being a little bit of a coward as we see in episode 13, but his cowardice partly stems from his inability to fight, so seeing someone who is fully capable of fighting might tick him off a bit. Of course he probably doesn't hate him too much and (this was mentioned in the world bible by the author) since halflings tend to admire and enjoy the masculinity of dwarfs, and Muriel fits that kinda bill just in a larger size. Probably won't develop a crush or anything, but will respect him.

I also feel like he'd "get along" (as much as this tsundere could get along at least lmao) best with Julian if only for the fact that Julian would be interested in how he deals with and manages traps and such. Besides that I feel like Jules might also become a target for Senshi when Portia blabs about his horrible self care skills (again, far away from the two of them as they go through the market/start cooking in her house/at the palace; Julian feels a chill go down his spine and the feeling that he is about to be chased.... eventually hangs over his head for a bit) Marcille might also get along pretty well with Julian (also kinda fits her type, though little less so than Nadia but still).

Also Jules would totally side with Senshi when he hears that he also doesn't like Magic, while Marcille and Asra and MC sit by the side with a slight huff.

For Lucio.... unfortunately I feel like his drama would tick off a lot of the DunMeshi crew (Julian does at times too but probably a little less so cause I feel like Julian's drama can at least appeal to Marcille), with maybe the sole exception of Laios who would be interested in Lucio's encounters with monsters. Only downside is I feel like Lucio has a simmilar attitude as Marcille in the beginning of the series to Monster food lmao. Chilchuck would definately stare down Marcille when Lucio refuses some dishes because of what it's made from, going all "well now you know what it feels like!" (to which Marcille will retort back with "You weren't down for everything either!! You hated the Idea of eating a mimic at first!!" and then it'd devolve into an argument lmao) One thing I imagine the crew has to teach him though is restraint and the importance of balance in his surroundings, as I imagine living in the palace, as well as his upbringing as a Scourge of the South has made him used to taking everything when he has the chance. Anyways when Lucio gets used to the food I feel like he'd really appreciate it (FYI, there IS a character he'd get along with pretty well but they haven't been introduced yet, so I'm holding myself back lmao. If you've read the manga; think about who acts really similar to him in this way with a bit more of a yearning for "freedom".)

Anyways MC would get along well with everyone (depends on MC of course) but I also feel like they could get along really well with Falin if only because Falin deals a lot with ghosts and I feel like MC could bond with her a bit over that, and with how MC kind of is a ghost. A ghost possessing a new body and all that mess. Also one other reason.

iykyk.

[the-hype-on-tv]

imma list all my superman//clark kent headcanons just bcuz (feel free to add yours)

he loves oriental food, especially Japanese. he probably has bentos with gohan and ramen for lunch on most days.

his eyes are so friggin blue and bright (and i mean, like, this shade of blue but shiny), that's what his glass's lenses are hiding mostly

we love a clark that gets flustered easily. superman might hide it better, but he blushes easily when people compliment him and would probably be deadpan when someone flirted with him for the first time

he probably mumbles a lot as clark kent as to "hide" the superman voice, possibly makes it sound less deep and assertive, which also connects to the next point

it's straight up canon that superman has "super-ventriloquism" and can project his voice very far and even change it. some people say that's just one of his powers, but I'd like to think clark just was a theatre kid at some point and kept what he learned

I don't think he has lungs. this is random and i have no proof of it, but he doesn't breathe like we do most of the time, so it's clear he stores air somehow else.

i can imagine young clark feeling conflicted in his puberty after the knowledge he can see through people's clothes. like, one day he's staring at his crush and imagines how it'd be if things got steamy between them and then he accidentally sees through and starts panicking, covering his eyes in shame and running away.

he has merch of all the justice league members aka his friends, but got his own because when others visited his apartment he would have to explain why he didn't like superman

the first time he saw someone with a broken bone or some internal injury he probably didn't understand there was something wrong cuz it's not like he goes around scanning healthy people. so he either learned with time and experience how an injured inside looks like, or he had to take nursing lessons. possibly from alfred.

he can be a cat person. i know he usually has dogs, like krypto, but the fact he takes the time to rescue kitties stuck in trees when he could be idk preventing an upcoming accident or smth shows he really cares about animals too. actually, he did try to become a veterinarian before journalism, but dropped out when he realized he'd have to see the poor things suffer on a daily basis

he never went to the beach. as a vacation, not as superman. and when he finally did, he didn't really find it as fun as he thought it would

he probably doesn't own any sneakers. by choice, really. i have no idea what he would wear on a sporty outing, but I'm guessing he'd either go with his social shoes or farm boots. literally no in-between.

he probably doesn't use earphones//headphones when listening to something on his cellphone or laptop. I'm sorry, clark can be a boomer too

probably know how to crochet or knit for absolutely no reason. he was bored one day and learned it

actually, complementing the last one, i think he has a lot of useless hobbies. his kryptonian brain probably processes everything faster, including boredom, so if he's chilling in his room at the middle of the night and has nothing to do, he'll superspeed a sweater into existence and idk do some origami birds and organize his rock collection, because he probably has a rock collection

anger issues. fanon usually forgets about this, but clark has a LOT of anger management issues. he punches his parents' house, a random tree, his sink, his eyes go red and while he can hold it for a while, he needs to do something to calm him down. probably one of his 10040297 hobies

i do not care WHAT proof you have, neither clark NOR superman cuss. not even if he's repeating a quote or singing a song. he'll just say "gosh darn it" or "great scott" (i still don't know who scott is) or "heck" or "flipping". if his anger is too big, he'll just get physical instead, but he'd never cuss lmao

he doesn't have a driver's license. he could get one if he tried, but he's pretty sure he'd either wreck his car with his hands or join in some traffic fight or get deaf with all the horns

I'm still not over the theatre kid thing-- he'd probably be in chess club as well and possibly, possibly play d&d with his friends. he probably was obsessed about it when it first came out.

he probably doesn't know many songs by heart, except for the ones his friends like.

you cannot convince me this man doesn't know how to play an acoustic guitar. I'm not being stereotypical with the country boy theme, i swear, but clark just looks like he's one of those friends who would take a guitar to a party or camp with his friends and hit some notes. again, from songs they know

[beautifulpersonpeach]

HOBI IS WORKING WITH JCOLE I REPEAT HOBI IS WORKING WITH JCOLE AHHHHH

Our boys are really industry heavyweights at this point, aren’t they BPP???? They really just out here casually collabing with their favorite artists growing up like Hobi just dropped the news that he collabed with The J.Cole the day before his single drops 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Am I wrong to think that they really earned these artists respect for them to even think to collab with them????Like I doubt J.Cole needs Hobi/BTS clout lmao and even Erykah Badu came out to do a song with Namjoon and I’m convinced Chris Martin is in love with Jin atp lmao like atp I’m convinced that RIHANNA X RAPLINE OR BEYONCE X JIMIN ISNT A FARFETCHED DREAM OF US DELULUS LIKE ITS NOT AN IMPOSSIBILITY BUT A REAL POSSIBILTY NOW

IM SO PROUD AND I LOVE THIS FOR THEM YOU GO BOYS

*

Ask 2: OMG I LOVE THAT TEASER MELODY!!!!!!! I think Imma love that song!! I'm so excited (and sad. AND WITH JCOLE HIS INSPIRATION OMMMMGGGGG I'm so happy. I'm SO giddy. lol I'm really glad to have this music. I needed them cuz I'm doing a competition on release day. I was feeling anxious. If it's going to be blue side esque, I'll just listen to this nonstop to calm myself down. Also Jimin Tiffany?? He looks fantastic. I hope there's ads, I'll go to the shops just to see him (I HATE both usually lol)

*

Ask 3: BPPPPPPPPP I'M CRYING THIS SONG IS EVERYTHING EVERYTTHING I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART

*

Ask 4: Jermaine Lamarr Cole respects Jung Hoseok and made a song with him fuck I'm gone. Bpp, how you feeling?

**

Hi Anon(s),

I don't even know where to begin.

I just wrote possibly what is my most effusively adoring Jimin post and maybe it's also the lack of sleep making me slightly delirious but I nearly burst into tears just now trying to reply to you talking about Hobi. Because y'all, my emotions are completely fried right now. Hobi has completely wrecked and destabilized me with On The Street. Part of the reason I'm here is because of how happy I feel, and it is 100% the result of his music, that song in particular, and what it confirms to me for the umpeenth time about who Hoseok is.

Y'all, I'm so happy for him. Like I'm sitting on my couch, wig off, feet up, running my hands down my face every two seconds through my hair clutching my fro to ground myself while On The Street plays on surround sound.

Everything about On The Street is perfect. I'll write an actual review once I've calmed down but Jesus it's so fucking good.

J Cole is an artist notorious for pulling no punches and being real with the music he makes and who he makes it with. Like Jermaine is one of a handful of rappers that Kendrick gives full cred to. I've been fighting the urge to scream since this song dropped like y'all have no idea how incredible, how legendary this collaboration is precisely because of the sort of artist both J Cole and J-hope are, and I can only imagine how Hobi feels right now.

All the guys are meeting their heroes and rather than it being an unpleasant experience, they've all developed so much as artists already that their first collaborations with their heroes is mutually satisfying and underpinned by mutual respect.

Everything about this song is so beautiful and I hope you're able to enjoy listening to it very often.

[l0sercat]

I was wondering if I could pls get some x reader for Jonah Vasquez from dbd he is my fav character and there really isn’t anything on him I’m not picky on what you want to write thx have a lovely day

Honestly don't know much about his character lmao

Jonah Vasquez x reader

You guys both sat around the campfire and were just chatting. He stared at you with interest as you went on a rampant about how the Entity should at least get you some cute cosmetics if she's gonna put you through all this suffering. He smiled and let out a small laugh and shook his head.

You threw up your hands in the air and let out a noise of frustration. Black smoke surrounded you and you made a deadpan face "Oh fuck" you said and you disappeared. Jonah chuckled then stopped as the smoke enveloped him as well. "Shit..." Then he disappeared as well.

He walked over to your upset form, your arms were crossed over your chest and you leaned on one side of your leg making your hip pop out. You looked over at him and smirked "So she got you too huh? Well this will be fun" you say already coming up with a plan to fuck around with the killer. Jonah knew what you were up to and was totally down.

As you spawned into the world you walked across the map and found a secure gen. You started on it and decided to find Jonah then start messing with the killer. You soon finished the gen and found Jonah.

You leaned into his ear and whispered "Alright so you find the killer and get into a locker and I'll shine a flashlight in their eyes so they free you and were just gonna keep doing that" you smirked and he nodded "Alright sounds fun but if you fuck up imma beat the shit outta you" he said and held a fist up. You let out a loud laugh and tossed your head back, being dramatic as always.

Your heart started beating rapidly and you looked at Jonah and froze. You both nodded and very loudly sprinted inside the shack. You hid behind as crate and Jona slammed the locker shut. The killer, The doctor, walked in bat in hand and giggled. He opened the locker and grabbed Jonah. You then rushed and clicked on your flashlight and shined it in The doctors eyes causing him to drop Jonah then shake his head. You giggled and Jonah let out a loud laugh and you both sprinted out and ran into a huge house.

The doctor was on your tail, you ran behind Jonah and protected him from The doctors hits. Jonah opened a locker and slammed it shut. The doctor ignored him and went after you, you circled around him and he hit the wall. You let out a loud but short obnoxious laugh. Your eyes filled up with tears and your side ached. You ran out of the building and hid but that was short lived as The doctor somehow saw you.

You cursed under your breath and ran back into the building. You saw a locker and quickly got in it careful to not slam it. But as you backed into it you noticed Jonah was in it as well. "What the fuck are you doing?" You whispered shouted "What are you doing?" He retorted. You huffed "I had to run from that ugly ass fucker he wasn't falling for the locker trick and I needed to hide" you said

You tried to position yourself so now you and Jonah are facing each other. You didn't know how both of you fit but you weren't going out there just yet. The doctor neared and soon was about to open the locker then you slammed it open. It slapped him on the head and knocked him down. "Take that bitch!" You yelled and grabbed Jonah's hand and you both ran out of there. "Your fucking crazy" he said and followed you.

Gens went off in the distance and soon you were able to escape. You and Jonah were able to successfully escape without a scratch. You both grinned at each other and joked about the match when you got back to camp. You told everyone about it and had a good laugh.

[sunluzhen]

meme waters rising 1, 3, 6 (stress-relief method), 7, 11, 17, 22, 24, 38, 42

What’s the lie your character says most often?

Any variation of "I'm okay! / It's fine / Everything's good!" It's instinctual at this point. Beyond that, he's actually not that much of a liar? He's awful at lying unless it's about how he's doing/feeling.

3. How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?

He's not exactly the best at hiding how he's feeling, when he's especially stressed or upset it's easy for others to pick up on, but getting him to actually talk is another task altogether; he's too often extremely avoidant when it comes to himself. He just... really doesn't want to bother the people he cares about. Some of the things that go on inside his head he really doesn't want them to know about, also.

6. What’s their favorite [stress-relief method] that they’ve never recommended to anyone before?

Whether or not this is actually a favorite method is debatable, but he's definitely not going to suggest anyone else do it. It's not exactly safe to walk around the city streets at night without your phone by yourself, Monkie Kid powers or no. These late night walks often end with MK dunking his head in the nearest body of ice cold water. (Sometimes he falls in all the way and has to scramble out somehow before he sinks.) Definitely not advisable.

7. What would you (mun) yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend and/or romantic partner yell?

lmao. okay. I think Mei and I would yell out the same thing to get a reaction from MK: "MONKEY KING SUCKS!" or "OMG! COME CHECK OUT THIS NEW MONKEY KING / JTTW-RELATED MERCH!" Depends on the mood. Both would definitely have him jumping up like "WHAT! WHERE?" with the former option earning an extra "WHO SAID THAT! IMMA THROW THESE HANDS!"

17. What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

Xiaotian sees a face in the mirror that belongs to them. They know it's them. But they struggle to really recognize it as themself, especially lately. There's a very faint scar, running diagonally across part of their face. It reminds them of cracked stone, which is... probably where it came from, actually. She did drop them on their head, didn't she? Then there's the patches of fur on his neck and arms that look like they didn't grow in right, over burn marks that somehow healed even though by all means they shouldn't have. Sometimes, if they squint and look really hard, they can see a few strands of white hair.

Others look at Xiaotian, and besides the obvious monkey features, they see a sweet, young face. One that's rather open and perhaps a little too earnest and trusting. The endearing little chipped fang when they smile a little too wide and show off their teeth. That messy mop of hair on top of their head. The signature red headband they always wear.

22. What simple activity that most people do / can do scares your character?

Vacuum cleaners are evil and should not be trusted. He'll stick to sweeping and mopping the old fashioned way.

24. Did they take a cookie from the cookie jar? What kind of cookie was it?

Oh, absolutely. Those almond cookies are ALL his. His!

38. What hobby are they good at in private, but bad at in front of others? Why?

Singing. They actually have a decent voice! But it's way more fun to sing badly along to karaoke songs with friends.

42. If invited to a TED Talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be?

Joke Answer?: "HELLO and welcome to my TED talk, FAKE IT 'TIL YOU MAKE IT! Monkie Kid's Guide to Prolonging the Next Mental Breakdown for As Long As Physically possible-- I MEAN I'll be talking about how to keep your spirits high while things are extremely stressful and chaotic: by lying to yourself until, eventually, it comes true!"

Real Answer: The former idea would get him immediately removed from the stage, BUT he's much more likely to use a TED talk as an opportunity to infodump about the JTTW novel, various adaptations, and miscellaneous Monkey King trivia, which is also not what TED talks are supposed to be for I think, but...

[shapeshiftinterest]

Polyamory Click: sun x moon x monty, fazcule

based on THIS post and a little on THIS post

hybrid!au: sun and moon are humans, the glamrocks are animal hybrids

sun, moon, and monty are the newest employees and have worked at the plex for at least a few months

monty gets on board with polyamory and dating sun and moon so he tells his bandmates

he’s a lil confused but he’s got the spirit

story under the read more

Polyamory Click (also on ao3)

“I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING!!!” Monty yelled, slamming the breakroom door open.

His outburst made Chica squawk, dropping her lunch. “MY FRIES!!” She wailed, dropping to the floor and trying to gather them all up. Roxy’s arm jerked at the commotion, ruining her latest attempt to paint Freddy’s claws.

“Damn it, Monty, look what you made me do,” Roxy said, cleaning Freddy’s claws with a wet wipe. “Chica don’t eat those.”

Chica spat out the floor fries and reached for-

“And don’t you dare put any in your purse.”

“But Roxy-!”

“No, get Monty to buy you replacement fries.”

Chica pouted, tossing the fries into the trash and sitting by her girlfriend.

"Guys! Focus on me!”

“What did you understand, Monty?” Freddy asked, in an awkward attempt to smooth things over.

“The polyarmory!”

His bandmates blinked. “You mean polyamory?” Chica said, looking up as Monty paced the room. It’s a good thing they were sitting in a more open section or his tail would have knocked everything over from how hard it was wagging.

He snapped his fingers, the polish already chipping on his own claws. Roxy would probably corner him once she was done with Freddy’s. “Yea, that!”

“Didn’t really get why y’all were into it but I totally get it now! Like,” Monty started waving his arms around and gesturing. “That polymammory-”

“Polyamory.”

“-Polyamory shit really clicked into place when I was on my movie date with Sun 'n  Moon yesterday, and they let me eat from both a’ their popcorns buckets with impurity.”

“Impunity, Monty.” Freddy said, blowing on on the nail polish while Roxy capped the bottles.

“At least he’s trying the word a day calendar?” Chica shrugged, happy Monty was using her birthday present. The words were a little jumbled but he was getting closer to using the right ones more often.

“‘Course Imma use it, girl. You got it for me.”

“Aaaawwww.”

“That is... not exactly, what polyamory is about. But we’re all very happy for you, Monty,” Freddy said, realizing that he probably should have eaten his burger before Roxy painted his nails. His ears drooped a little when his stomach growled.

Seeing his dilemma, Roxy unwrapped the top of the Double Deluxe Fazburger’s paper and held it up for him so he could take a bite. “Ah, thank you, Roxy.”

“No prob. ‘N yeah,” She turned to face Monty, one hand holding the burger, the other hovering under it so the crumbs and sauce wouldn’t get on their outfits. “Glad t’see you finally on board the Fazcule train lmao.”

“I wasn’t not on it,” Monty grumbled, snagging a chip from Freddy’s tray seeing as how Roxy’s was finished and he still owed Chica some fries. “Just didn’t know it was a thing I could do is all.”

“Sooooo, did you do anything else besides eat from both of their popcorn buckets?” Chica sing songed, leaning into the bassist’s space.

“What? No!”

“C’mooooon, you can tell us~ You held hands didn’t you. Didja get twice the goodnight kisses?” Chica smirked, chasing after Monty as he leapt out of his seat and tried to run from her interrogation. “Montyyyy, tell meeeee!”

“No!”

Roxy and Freddy laughed as the other Glams raced around the table and Freddy choked on his sandwhich a little from laughing too hard.

[staravya]

I posted 14,212 times in 2022

That's 8,021 more posts than 2021!

159 posts created (1%)

14,053 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kdm13

@merryaqua

@bunjywunjy

@rainbowchibbit

@wryterofworlds

I tagged 14,206 of my posts in 2022

#people - 3,098 posts

#critical role - 867 posts

#video - 838 posts

#arts - 800 posts

#ace attorney - 748 posts

#kingdom hearts - 662 posts

#pokemon - 626 posts

#animals - 606 posts

#tumblr - 539 posts

#the mighty nein - 497 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i imagine if marcus had pulled the pin jinx would've been able to drop down and either disarm or yeet the explosive before it killed them

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I’ve lost control of my life and am watching power rangers now. The acting is SO bad. The cgi is Worse. I’m having a great time

7 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

#4

Well I reached phase 2 of the final boss so maybe I’m not actually bad at this game

<- immediately dies to lava in asphodel again

Anyway Thanatos still hasn’t shown up since I died in his challenge (except to intimidate Sisyphus) and I’m sad about it. Come back here.

7 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

#3

man the cutscenes in this game are so nice and pretty considering the fact i have a visible outline of white specks in a cave and also when i throw a pokeball in water it looks like a literal low-quality jpeg

8 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

#2

sorry if i reblogged your post from like a year+ ago i am cleaning out my likes thanks for your consideration

also i know im tagging all the lol stuff as arcane i cannot convince myself to tag it as lol sry

13 notes - Posted January 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

ill be honest i kinda saw the commander kamado guy turning on us coming bc he kept going on and on about how the people dont trust me,,, and yet im running all of their errands and they kind of adore me, actually? i give them pokemon! theyre happy to see me!

the only one who doesnt trust me is the commander lmao, and once he was like “weh weh imma do some crazy shit as leader” i was just. ah, so you are the one who doesnt trust me.

15 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[always-me-meha]

Sooo insanity has turned up abit.

Im tryna run a bath but the plug is hovering in circles or sliding 😵‍💫 I was like it's a puck! Curling rock! Ooooo..... ufo.

I know in reality it's not moving. But I see it and it is.....

Can one manage living with hallucinations while being self aware they are not there or i mean how as i see it???

⚠️Extremely long word vomit, dropping off topic constantly. Totally sound cooked haha I'm not.

I might put this to a test. I have a psychiatrist appointment on the 28th anyway if I lose it completely lololol

The goal is to manage my symptoms, aka hiding them from the 'real world, folks, friends, maybe bf. While also living with them face to face, haha inner self to self.

Like damn tumblr, get ready to be my crutch for the next two weeks. If I have to act normal infront of people, imma needa release lol.

Imma take notes of this shit going on in my head till I can piece it together and show the bf damn proof or at least a clear visual representing to EXPLAIN exactly what I'm seeing, and freaking out about and believing is fucking true.

As once again I struggle to put words to the knowledge in my head LMAO.

I kinda mentioned the show we watched last night, he didn't really act anything about it.

It's fucked in my head for me that's shit was intense like looking at a past life of ours or something front in of me in real life that other people can see lolol I thought he felt how I felt to watching it.

But nah, he didn't get it. Cool beans.... another Easter egg.

Fuck maybe I'm so sucked away from reality. Movies and tv shows feed my delusions, gives more beliefs, and theories made up in my head to be legit. they're an escape as well. To pointI can't just watch any old movie.... it actually has to catche my attention to the point I'm so attached to it like.... it fuels something inside me. I'm actually able to point the phone down and focus.

I donno where I was going with that. Convincing my self last night, that tv episode was just..... a fucking show. There's no real... idk what they are..... grrrr I don't wanna let this theory go. Never in my life have I seen a show like that, felt like my life.

Maybe it's cause we had a wicked intense make out session before he put it on and he made look me at the TV just as the guy and her started partying and hooking up all intensely like we were. So I was just feel all that grrrr fire I guess I donno dammit what's it called!!!!!

Just I can say I fell madly in heat hahahaha yet it feels like a fever dream now funny. weird. Maybe that's why I felt so focused to the TV lol cause it was 'us' at the moment. Then he looked like man. Black clothes. Piercings tattoos almost in the same spots. I look nothing like the bimbo lol but her lust for him and the way she starred at him is so me. They way they'd stay in bed or fuck everywhere lol I'm like shit balls we need to do that more. I think made the heat rise in the room even more lol

But I'mma pause here and put it on. I wanna list every 'Easter egg' I seen. Like I swear even tho it's based on that couple, we were meant to watch it cause it's like seeing who we are from another reality in away idk smh. Idk if meant to watch it general, but I think he was meant to show me it at that exact day and moment.

(Going off topic)

Timing is everything..... it's crazy what all in the world happens in one minute...... all these people in the world is doing everything and anything imaginable this very second. It's crazy to think about. Idk even know if yall get me there....

Example. I'm fucking still sitting on the side of this bathtub typing this lol someone else is typing accounting at their pc, another's gaming, ones picking his nose, a groups on yacht partying, ones picking up cans, driving somewhere, doing the dirty, making art, building towns, welding ships. Dancing the pole lol, creating glass art, you name it.

So fucking much going on in the world this very minuet..... well that last minuet plus now lol.

And I'm still here typing away habahaha I move to the bed least. Fuck chill girl, have a bath, lol why was I even thinking of the world just now.... hmm distraction to stay in the reality lane. Interesting.... masking symptoms!!!

But fuck yes that episode man!!!! Grrrr caige had to have felt at least something of it. Especially when the guy asked her to marry him.

He looked at me and said what would I say if I proved liked that lmfao I was like I'd be shy af cause you put me on the spot in a crowd lol but of course I'd say yes. Fuck intense perfect night..... but.....

I hate how he's hot and heavy. And then in the morning it's like meh. Snuggles. Wake up gotta go. No intensity, while I myself still have the energy inside me from it lmfao I donno the word for it... just for me it was a really good night tho I fucking got lost in that show. But I am crazy rn so guess it's different.

Fuck the guy even has has.... personal similarities other then looks and the attuide, give no fucks guy, as caige lol. Me and her not really besides I get really ditzy my self. When my smart, thinking meter disappeared wah. And just that obession over him!!!! The sexual fire ro devour him lolol at all times, everywhere.

But in our reality.... haha we old. Drugs took a beaten to uh body ..... i forgot the word dammit....., I will say no more lolol that's why you fucking make it the best you can in all ways, other then just popping it in, so old school lol haha

Heheheh gotta work for that moment lololol now I'm just talking sex here I'm sorry. But dammit I've been with to many hooks that were just BLAH. That it was all same man, just a stupid body counr rising.

So having sex with someone who loves you and building up to it is much for funner and better and just grrrr intense. (Don't forget I have hypersexuality lmfao bipolar emotions even more amped up) like he traced all over my body with a knife one time. Fucking different as hell ( I always loved him tracing with iPad pen sooo) but I was like I trust you and dark kinky hehehehe

Omg tho he spanked way to hard yesterday repeatedly 🥺🥺🥺 never done that to me before. I was like you supposed do that while I'm bent man lolol just a punishment wahhhhh like shit balls were a mix between just like intensity make out session and pressing against eachother as much as possible. To the biting and choking. Go from soft to idk rough hahahahah grrrrrr fuck Idk why I'm word vomiting all this.

Hey it gives you sex advise to please a women tbh especially one like me HAHA But I'm taken.

But dammit I can't get enough! for someone that wasn't satisfied for like ever hahahaha at least with him it's like fuck yes. Score hahahaha and I don't even have to take care of my self like some women secretly do after lol like WTF where has this man been all my life lol. Poor guys gotta maniac in love with him. So embarrassed he seen me this looney.

Deep down disappointed he didn't tell me to go to my step dad's in the condition I'm in. I think he thinks I'm just high. No bruh this the psychotic side slipping out lol not like murderer psychotic but idk just I say weird shit lol not like the 'earth is flat people' smh hahah like I've been trying to say this whole time. I

There is something here, nort sure exactly where or what, around us or idk .....

One version/theory i can of is like you can roll the sheet down infront of yours (think of sunglasses) and see things in way that idk..... you would never of thought of. Same plain of earth just different...... see what others don't see.

Which fucking doctors say HALLUNINCATIONS and blah blah, you crazy. Maybe maybe. But what if I wasn't and this shits true!!!! And it's fucking everyone else that's just blind. Almost like that movie the giver, how no one saw color, it was taken away, BUT IT WAS STILL THERE. Just had to see it.... not that third eye bullshit, lol or maybe? I quickly read that up for a sec....

I remember seeing posts on this one topic...I obviously forgot what it's called maybe all this confusion in my head is simply just that and many people know actually wtf I'm talking about in the mental health tumblr communiry lol but nah I don't think it's that hahaha just food for thought to had add to theory list. It'd be easy to accept that's what I'm seeing BUT NO

I refuse to accept that lol. This is deeper hrmph and it's been hitting me since 2020. Just flash backs of stuff I was 'believing'. How some of it connects to back then lol

Back then I knew in my head heaven and hell everyone's waiting for is exactly on this earth with them, it's where you choose to be of course or I guess think red dead redemption 2, that good or bad karma bar lol kinda leads you to the side your on. Many are in the grey area not knowing exactly where they stand. Or idk much about it or any of it. Just a theory that clicked to me back then (a belief, right now a theory lol) I guess some people born get the shitty dice roll again you may start at the bottom but you cam still get here. Some get a lucky roll and still end up on the other side, tho they had advantages. Don't ask me why dice is involved at all. Part of God's game? Creator? Whoever you believe in.

And hell and heaven is what you make it i guess to. Nothings the sane for everyone. So fucking weird man to think about. Almost like the show upload but without the fucking uploading part lol. Natural way of fuckin life hahaha

As spirits or souls go or do as the please! Like god damn we dont really know do we..... i believe they're real, even fuck.

Zombies could be real lmfao they are depressed empty people like myself ( in my long depression episodes that is ) just drag along life, not really here, maybe eat brains lolol jk naw that's straight cannibals. Anything in this world that scares me is that, mountain man cannibals.

Anywho I was told everything goes black when you die... naw no way. That's like Detroit become human the robots or whatever that would break through thw third wall to be there own.... indiviual with feelings and pain as humans. To not be controlled anymore and stand up for themselves, basically escape and be free cause they we're being mistreated and abused and lots were scared to die cause there'd be nothing? They didn't know what would happen.

I don't know why I compare to games or movies as examples haha makes it easier I think for some to understand who know the reference or so haha.

Oh shit time to take notes.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Whatta Man, Whatta Man, Whatta Man, Whatta Mighty Good Man

First Lady of Private Garden Instagram AU

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, saweetie, cozane, lilnasx, druski2funny, claybornharlow, dualipa, and 3,492,183 others

y/ninsta: Whatta Man, Whatta Man, Whatta Man, Whatta Mighty Good Man 😍😍😍

Whewww he get on my nerves sometimes, but he's mine and also happens to be fine as shit lol

jackharlow: forever and Always. love the fact that I'll be able to get on your nerves until the end of time. now come sit on my face 🤭 y/ninsta: jackharlow been getting on my nerves since we were fourteen and I wouldn't have it any other wayyy and say less lmao druski2funny: you two make me sick smh y/ninsta: druski2funny just because we told you last night that we found you in a dumpster doesn't mean you have to act outta pocket. we took you in and clothed and fed you. ungrateful ass. lilnasx: NOT THE DUMPSTER LMAOOOOO druski2funny: jackharlow get your wife! jackharlow: druski2funny you on your own my boy! claybornharlow: I mean I guess he's okay. if you're into that. dualipa: claybornharlow you get me. we're on the same page. jackharlow: dualipa claybornharlow and both of you can go play in traffic claybornharlow: jackharlow don't let your wife see that jackharlow: claybornharlow idc, she knows what this is dualipa: jackharlow you about to get your ass beat by her, just watch y/ninsta: JACKMAN THOMAS jackharlow: y/ninsta I was hacked baby 👉🏼👈🏼 y/ninsta: jackharlow hacked my ass. perfect example of you getting on my nerves. leave my little baby alone. all he does is mind his business jackharlow: y/ninsta SINCE WHEN? claybornharlow: 😇😇😇 jackharlow: claybornharlow walk to Mockingbird because I'm not picking you up y/ninsta: claybornharlow yes he is, go and get ready. just let me know if you have any problems jackharlow: 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, jaysontatum, saweetie, generationnow, theestallion, softtcurse, theshaderoom, and 2,851,024 others

y/ninsta: I should kick yall asses

Exhibit A and Exhibit B why I can never find my bonnets

Their big ass heads are wearing them

And who let my man wear it out in public!?

PG, I'm looking at yall 🤨🤨🤨

quiiso: look I'm innocent, I warned him not to leave the house in it after I had to do a double take urbanwyatt: then you shouldn't leave them laying around all the time! shloob_: in his beauty supply run era saweetie: I CANNOT with the two of them lmao jackharlow: I thought I looked cute y/ninsta: jackharlow you did, but you're missing the point! now what am I supposed to use to cover my hair?! jackharlow: y/ninsta use Ivy's or Autumn's y/ninsta: jackharlow imma kick your ass for even SUGGESTING that. THEY HAVE BABY BONNETS NOT ADULT BONNETS. druski2funny: we all know he just lightskin. especially according to grandma kat y/ninsta: druski2funny my husband is pale as shit, ain't no way he's going to get around that jackharlow: no ragrets y/ninsta: jackharlow you know what this means, right? jackharlow: y/ninsta that I have to eat you out for an hour for stealing it? y/ninsta: jackharlow yes, but that wasn't my first thought. when I have to make my trips to the beauty supply store, your ass is coming and getting your own damn bonnet, you too urbanwyatt jackharlow: y/ninsta I need it personalized for it to say First Lady's husband y/ninsta: jackharlow why are you so unserious? saweetie: jack PLEASEEEEEE LMAO dualipa: y/ninsta surprised his head could fit inside of it jackharlow: dualipa I got a big one up top and down below and it fits where it needs to go every time just fine neelamthadhani: jackharlow EW SPARE US THE DETAILS y/ninsta: jackharlow 🤭🤭🤭🤭 jackharlow: neelamthadhani you got your nieces and nephew out of it didn't you?! jackharlow: y/ninsta baby you already know I can count on one hand how many times I've been serious in my life y/ninsta: jackharlow that's why I'm convinced you were dropped on your head as a baby

Liked by y/ninsta, saweetie, dualipa, lilnasx, urbanwyatt, druski2funny, claybornharlow, jessicakelce, theshaderoom, blancahood, and 2,374,007 others

jackharlow: me and my main man 😍😍😍

saweetie: he is so chunky and so cute! normani: yes to the matching shoes! urbanwyatt: wrong. that's my main man. his middle name is WYATT. y/ninsta: urby please. we know he's named after you but got damn smh jackharlow: urbanwyatt and his last name is HARLOW. stop playing with me smh urbanwyatt: y/ninsta that's my kid. you just had him for me y/ninsta: urbanwyatt imma get curse to kick your ass if you don't shut up y/ninsta: anyway LOOK AT MY BABIES 😍😍😍 quiiso: every since axel came out of y/ninsta urbanwyatt takes his godfather duties seriously urbanwyatt: quiiso they entrusted me with this job ever since we were sixteen, of course I'm going to take it seriously. now I'm coming to get him along with my two princesses. I'm loading them up with sugar and then dropping them back off in the driveway and then taking off jackharlow: urbanwyatt imma whoop your ass if you do that y/ninsta: urbanwyatt and they will literally be back on your doorstep and me and baby daddy are turning off our phones. don't play with us. urbanwyatt: jackharlow y/ninsta fine, just one ice cream cone each but autumn is fucking boujee and only likes frozen yogurt just like her mother smh y/ninsta: urbanwyatt AHT AHT! cut the shit! leave my baby alone! dualipa: aww look at my son! jackharlow: dualipa not you too because I don't have the energy for it today dualipa: jackharlow hand my child over. you know he adores his step mommy jackharlow: y/ninsta get her before I do y/ninsta: lmaoooo surprised clay isn't in here yet claybornharlow: y/ninsta you called? jackharlow: claybornharlow GO AWAY y/ninsta: jackharlow be nice! and claybornharlow yes I did! claybornharlow: when are yall going to realized the autumn is literally a small version of y/ninsta that looks like her father? (me) but she is boujee lmao jackharlow: claybornharlow you just asking me to kick your ass at this point claybornharlow: little baby over everybody! y/ninsta: behave you two!

Liked by y/ninsta, maggieharlow, lilnasx, urbanwyatt, cozane, selenosunni, privategarden, neelamthadhani, saweetie, and 4,296,770 others

jackharlow: Not Ivy coming into the room this morning and being like "where's mommy?" She wasn't satisfied with my answer and proceeded to sigh and look at me and say "but I'm hungry." I told her I would make her something and then she says, "daddy, not a good cook. I wait for mommy."

It be your own kids smh

claybornharlow: because we don't need my niece getting food poisoning lmaooooo y/ninsta: aww my oldest baby! mommy is on her way back to feed you! jackharlow: I've gotten better! y/ninsta: jackharlow baby the only person that ever eats your cooking is you quiiso: lmaoooo not y/ninsta throwing jack under the bus urbanwyatt: but y/ninsta needs to keep in mind that she had humble beginnings and couldn't cook for shit when we moved into our first apartment y/ninsta: urbanwyatt keep talking and I won't feed you until 2050 shloob_: well GOT DAMN urbanwyatt: y/ninsta don't get mad because I told the truth! yungskylark: now why do yall dumbasses always come for y/ninsta on the days that she's supposed to cook for us? SHUT THE FUCK UP SO WE CAN GET FED 2forwoyne: I second this jackharlow: I get fed anyway no matter what yall dumbasses do 😏 neelamthadhani: just a bunch of nasties saweetie: aww my baby Ivy knows the deal jackharlow: at least she let me finish doing her hair. she was walking around all last night with half of it done and wasn't trying to cooperate dualipa: jackharlow looks like you're getting this daddy this down pact jackharlow: dualipa I would hope so since y/ninsta's body decided to make three at one time y/ninsta: jackharlow BECAUSE OF YOUR FUCKING SUPER SPERM, DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE COME FOR ME jackharlow: y/ninsta I'm not, can we make another one? y/ninsta: jackharlow another WHAT?! jackharlow: y/ninsta never mind. I'll ask you later.

Liked by y/ninsta, jackharlow, lilnasx, urbanwyatt, jessicakelce, estgee, maggieharlow, blancahood, and 792,495 others

claybornharlow: y/ninsta Jack may give these to you, but they're from me

jackharlow: CLAYBORN! y/ninsta: aww they're so pretty. clay did you help him pick them out? claybornharlow: y/ninsta of course I did jackharlow: claybornharlow absolutely tired of your ass yungskylark: clay never lets jack live lmao jackharlow: yungskylark AT ALL! claybornharlow: he only bagged her because he saw her first, if the roles were reversed it would've been me y/ninsta: this is one rivalry that will never end despite how many times I tell them to cut it out dualipa: wait a minute, I thought those were from me? jackharlow: dualipa NO. EXIT STAGE LEFT. NO. dualipa: jackharlow your time is winding down. the first lady will be my first lady soon. jackharlow: dualipa over my dead fucking body y/ninsta: jackharlow thank you for my flowers smush! they're gorgeous. jackharlow: y/ninsta gorgeous flowers for my gorgeous wife claybornharlow: jackharlow for now y/ninsta: jackharlow I know people get tired of me. my man, my man, my man. how the fuck am I just looking at the back of you and want to rip your clothes off? urbanwyatt: NO jackharlow: y/ninsta I mean.... it is naptime for them..... y/ninsta: jackharlow SAY LESS

Liked by jackharlow, saweetie, theestallion, claybornharlow, urbanwyatt, 2forwoyne, shloob_, and 3,493,761 others

y/ninsta: gimme one margarita imma open my legs, gimme two margaritas imma give you some head jackharlow lmao 😜

jackharlow: OH jessicakelce: please shut up because you'll do all this anyway without any drinks involved y/ninsta: jessicakelce lmaooooo you right sis. my man shouldn't be so fine. urbanwyatt: the two of you will never let up jackharlow: umm y/ninsta I can order you a few margaritas if that's what you want 👀👀👀 y/ninsta: urbanwyatt daycare in my throat urbanwyatt: y/ninsta more like daycare in your house, but I get it blancahood: urbanwyatt PLEASEEEEEE y/ninsta: jackharlow no need, just bring your fine self here jackharlow: y/ninsta you know I'm already on my way saweetie: jackharlow can I get the triplets grills now for their birthday? jackharlow: saweetie when they turn 5 saweetie: FINALLY! they gotta be matching with their momma theestallion: why didn't you finish the caption?! 2forwoyne: GIMME THREE MARGARITAS IMMA PUT IT IN MY PUS quiiso: GIMME FOUR MARGARITAS IMMA PUT IT IN MY TUSH urbanwyatt: GIMME FIVE MARGARITAS IMMA HAVE SOME FUN y/ninsta: lmaoooo I know my PG babies always got me! dualipa: y/ninsta you can use my face as a seat at any time jackharlow: dualipa blow torch and flame thrower were just delivered to the house, choose your next words carefully dualipa: jackharlow would your wife happen to be a squirter too? urbanwyatt: OH MY DAMN LMAO jackharlow: DUA!

Liked by y/ninsta, maggieharlow, normani, sza, blancahood, traviskelce, theshaderoom, quiiso, and 4,293,018 others

jackharlow: can you tell all three of them are spoiled as hell? Autumn at grandma Kat's house and she tells me she's not done with her spa treatment and needs for me to paint her nails oh and feed her grapes

I literally had another version of my wife

Ivy is finished and is upstairs eating her lunch

y/ninsta: WHO SET HER UP WITH ALL THAT?! and so what! jackharlow: y/ninsta GRANDMA KAT! imma do it though. she asked me for purple and green nails. saweetie: jackharlow y/ninsta has you wrapped around her finger and now the babies do too lmao urbanwyatt: y/ninsta tell your grandma I'm pulling up 👀 2forwoyne: urbanwyatt aye! get me some of those rice krispy treats she got! y/ninsta: urbanwyatt yes she'll be excited to see her favorite customer urbanwyatt: 2forwoyne I got you sza: HER LITTLE CHAIR. I CAN'T. YALL KIDS ARE TOO ADORABLE. claybornharlow: jackharlow you had enough practice with painting y/n's nails while she was pregnant because she couldn't see them. you should be fine. y/ninsta: claybornharlow it took a little bit of practice but he got better jessicakelce: NOT AUTUMN TELLING YOU TO FEED HER GRAPES jackharlow: jessicakelce YOUR NIECE IS THE DEFINITION OF SPOILED y/ninsta COME GET THIS BABY y/ninsta: jackharlow nope. mama's busy. jackharlow: y/ninsta doing WHAT? y/ninsta: jackharlow stuff. I'll see yall later. going out with Jess and B. byeeeeee jackharlow: y/ninsta not the hot chips and bad decisions crew smh

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