#imma go asleep it is 4 am

[a-chicken-with-adhd]

Okay whump fic idea, anyone is free to use as inspo.

Bruce did kill Joker, especially after stopping him from blowing up the UN and killing him when killing the Joker wouldn't cause a war. He kills Joker, not as Batman, but as Bruce Wayne because it was the father mourning a child and not a knight mourning its apprentice.

Bruce is taken to jail (this is very undercover knowledge as to not cause mass panic), Jason revives in his grave, Barbara still becomes paralyzed.

Dick is left with having to manage Gotham, Blüdhaven, Wayne Industries, The Teen Titans, part-timing at the Justice League, and also working as a cop.

Tim still connects the dots and confronts Dick Grayson on overloading himself, he still becomes Robin helping Dick while in Gotham(if more on the investigation and finding evidence and solving cases to give to commissioner Gordan than stopping Bane and supervillians)

Jason still becomes the RedHood, (for more whump purposes) Talia notices that there is something different with Batman but is unable to uncover why.

There's a riot at the Jail Bruce is in and at the same time there's a breakout. Jason is training around the world.

Bruce unfortunately passes due to multiple inmates gaining access to an officers guns and shooting randomly. This is kept quiet. All online rumors shut down by Oracle, not letting the new out until Alfred and Dick are ready.

Dick, Alfred, Barbara and Tim are in mourning. Trying to get the company together before letting the news break to the public. Dick is upset, knowing that he will have to hold onto the cowls mantle for longer. Angry and confused with his emotions about Bruce, his Father, his dad, dying while also feeling regret and shame that they left on a bad note, yelling at each other with him screaming that he hated Bruce.

Barbara is mourning the second Father figure she had, missing the calls she would get on Wednesdays from Bruce who listened to her rants and encouraged her to keep trying physical therapy.

Tim is sad he never got to know Bruce as anything more than his idol, but is determined to become a master at detective work to lessen the burden on Dick. So Dick grayson can go back to being Nightwing full time.

Alfred is mourning his child, his son, the little boy he raised that grew into a phenomenally kind-hearted, if too stoic and emotionally scared, strong man.

Jason, still thinks Bruce is alive. No one told him, he couldn't find this information. Jason still harbors hate that Bruce didn't do anything. There's whispers that Joker is retired or dead, or just hitting the ground after killing a powerful billionaire/trillionaires son. But no confirmations.

Jokers death by the hands of playboy billionaire philanthropist Brucie Wayne, the kind-hearted if a bit dim-witted flirtatious himbo Twunk, is a well kept secret.

Jason makes his debut as Red Hood, harboring Hate for Bruce. Trying to really rub it in Batman’s face that he knows who is under the mask. Angry that Bruce didn't avenge him. Angry that his killer could still be out there! Wandering the streets!

Its night that Alfred decides to let the news break to the world. Jason is out, being chased by Batman, they get into a scuffle, the Red Hood manages to pin down Batman while ontop of a building right across from a jumbo advertisment screen, Tim was working on coms and surveillance with Oracle. Then the news hit Gotham.

Jason was yelling at Batman, angrily yelling about how he has to live in fear that the joker could still be alive, live in degrading self worth that him dying wasnt what crossed the line for his dad, yelling that ignoring what Joker had done just to put him in Arkham where he'd just break out was just sentencinh Gothamites to death, ripping off his helmet screaming at Batman with hot angry tears in his eyes, pulling off Batman’s cowl only to be met with his older Brother's face.

The screen flashes from whatever advertisment to breaking news covering the hidden story of Bruce Wayne, who had killed Joker in revenge for murdering his son, had recently died in a recent jail outbreak from inmates causing a riot getting ahold of a gun and shooting other inmates.

The new anchor draws comparisons to Bruce Wayne's Parents and how they died in a random act of gun violence.

Jason, dealing with too much, runs away. Ignoring the way his whole body felt like it was breaking at the news that his dad had avenged him, had killed the Joker, but it had gotten him killed, shot in the head. Ignoring the calls of his older brother who just found out that Jason is alive.

[deceasedream69]

YOU'RE SAFE

This is LONG, but I hope it's worth it lol

Warnings: mentions of kidnapping, torture, SA, cursing, punches and smut (in part 2)

-

Jake woke up slowly, his neck hurted from the position. He tried moving but he couldn't, his hands were tied to the arms of a chair, and his legs too.

He breathed heavily, looking around, adjusting his eyes to the room's lighting.

A man is standing in front of him, a few feet away, leaning on a metal table. Looks like he was waiting for Jake to wake up.

Jake says nothing, waiting for the man to speak first.

- Jake Peralta

Jake's eyes were fixed on the man, he didn't know what all of this was about, confused, cold, hungry and very scared.

His chest went up and down rapidly, heavy, his hands moving under the ropes.

- you're a pain in my ass, did you know that?

Jake just shook his head.

- I've been said that before, no one really took the time to tied me up for it.

The man just laughed.

- guess I'm the first one to do something about it, huh? Let me introduce myself then. My name's John.

- ooh, right, John!

- you have no idea who I am, do you?

- not at all, no. It's hard to remember when your thoughts are tied up.

- and that's how they'll stay

- just saying, you know, this could be really easier if you just untied me and we talked like normal people.

- you know what, Peralta, imma quit playing, you're people is investigating my people, taking really good workers away from me, and for what? For them to rot away between 4 walls.

- well, I mean, it's kinda my job - Jake laughed nervously. Being a police officer meant having a lot of people against you, and just being there, practically at they're feet, was terrifying.

But what was about to come was worse.

A man entered the room, carrying y/n in his arms. She was deeply asleep, probably due to drugs.

Jake moved in the chair, trying to break from the ropes and put you safe.

But, obviously, he couldn't.

They put you over the metal table, tying your hands to some metal bars next to your hips.

The table was cold, Jake's gaze switched from your body placed over the table and the faces of the man tying you up.

You were wearing a white tank top, shorts and socks, that's it.

The weather isn't good for this, she's gonna get cold. Jake's mind was filled with panic about everything that could make you feel bad.

What are they planning on doing? Are they going to hurt her? I can't let that happen, but, I can't just sell my work.

The man leaned against the table again, covering part of your body from Jake's sight, but he could still see your face, so he'll be able to notice if you wake up.

- don't hurt her - there was rush and panic in his voice.

- you don't tell me what to do, I give the instructions here, and they've been set, so talk - he got a knife out of his pocket- or you know what'll go down.

Jake twitched even harder in his seat. Hands gripping at the chair.

Another man grabbed Jake from his shoulder and tied him from the chest, to secure him even more to the chair.

- start talking, Peralta - he made the knife dance above your cheek - I don't really want to ruin this pretty face.

- what- stop- just- what... What do you want to know?

He looked defeated, sighing heavy with disappointment, but lifted his gaze, looking directly to the man's eyes.

I opened my eyes slowly, everything felt heavy, my arms were cold, my neck and head were sore. I tried moving but I just, couldn't, everything felt so heavy and difficult.

- I- I just don't like it, ok? When you play dumb.

He slapped me.

Well, that's a way to wake up. I looked around the room, processing what was happening. I looked at Jake, he looked worried, he was tied to a chair.

The man in front of me seemed to be huge from this perspective.

I blinked a couple of times, trying to understand everything.

- I'm not! Ok? I'm not- it was an honest question, please, don't hurt her

- hurt her? Now you're making demands and still - he got behind the table - not answering what I want.

He got his knife out of the pocket and cut acrossed my arm, not too deep but if felt like hell.

I could feel the drug effects going away.

I screamed in pain and shock.

He took the knife and walked in front of Jake, putting my blood on his face.

- my team found your star worker, Thomas Johnson, they brought him to the station to question him, while being there he said some compromising things, that gave us a warrant to search his house, and that's how we found most information about the drugs. Please, hurt me instead of her, she has nothing to do with this.

- you're a cop, she's a cop, I don't give a fuck, besides, what did I tell you about giving me orders?

Another guy near the table threw a bucket of cold water at me. I really didn't want to seem weak, but hell that shit was cold.

Jake threw his head back, another guy took his head.

- look at her, look what you're causing. Keep talking and she'll have it better.

- That's how we knew where to search, the people working for you and the places you owned. My team went to get them and they all had the same things at their house, so we knew it was teamwork, but none of them seemed to be- well, the head of the operation.

The man laughed.

- of course they didn't.

Jake kept trying to move his head but the guy behind him kept moving it so he would be looking at you the whole time.

Breathing heavy, trying to ignore the cold, even tho your body was shaking like crazy, you had to keep focused.

- keep talking, god dammit, Peralta!

He slapped me again, and then punched me twice.

- STOP! Ok!! After that give tried to give them deals to keep them talking, but no one wanted to talk, so we kept investigating at the sightings, with CIs and undercover agents.

- who are the undercover agents?

- we don't have any at the moment

He got on top of the table, grabbing my neck.

- give me the names, Peralta

- I swear, the mission was cleared while we found another perspective to investigate! I swear! Please, your hurting her.

My head was dizzy with adrenaline, fear, anxiety and all sort of bad things.

The man was huge, he had his hands around my neck and he for sure was strong.

My hands kept trying to break free from the table, gasping for air, tears scaping from my eyes while I watched his face filled with anger.

- I don't believe you, Peralta, that's not good for your girl here.

- please, ok! Fine! Greenhood, Edward Greenhood, I think he goes by the name of trevor or something like that, I'm not sure, he's not exactly from my team.

He let go of my throat and I immediately gasped for air, letting it fill my lungs, it hurted so much, everything hurted.

I turned to look at Jake and he just mouthed "I'm so sorry"

The man went to the back to talk with his guys.

Jake whispered really low.

- I'm sorry, y/n, we'll be fine, I promise

I turned to look at him tiredly. Ain't hard to say that I felt drained, like shit, and like I just wanted to get this over with.

I looked at the ceiling, shivering, closed my eyes and tried to calm myself.

- you've been very helpful Jake.

He said untying me from the table.

- she's been very helpful too, gotta give her props for that.

He carried me in his arms, laying me right in front of Jake, at his feet.

Kneeling beside me, he caressed my hair, putting it behind my ear.

- now, the last thing I asked you - he lifted his eyes to look directly into Jake's, still touching my hair - I need the names of your team.

Jake swallowed hard.

The man came close to my ear, whispering.

- come on darling, tell him, ask him for help.

He sat me up, face to face with Jake. His hand strong at my neck.

- tell him how much you need him to say the names.

- Jake...

His lip quivering, his eyes watery, and his chest going up and down quickly.

- don't give him the names - I said looking directly into Jake's eyes.

He got upset, smashing me against the floor, running his hands through his hair from the anger.

I sat up, spitting blood on the floor.

He quickly grabbed me and threw me to the floor again, pulling my shorts off.

- no, please, no! - I tried pushing him.

- get off her!

- you'll talk - he said grabbing my cheeks - or I won't loose the opportunity with this pretty thing, and trust me, I'll enjoy it very much - he hooked on finger on my underwear, looking at Jake's reaction closely, licking his lips.

He undid his pants, touching under my blouse. Jake, turned his head to the side, preparing himself to talk, but the other guy quickly pushed his head to us.

- look what you're causing - he smiled viciously.

I don't remember anything after that.

- NYPD! ON THE FLOOR NOW! DROP YOUR WEAPONS, YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!

Jake sighed in relief. Turning to look at y/n with pain.

-

You woke up screaming.

- you're safe! It's okay, everything is fine! I'm Jake, I'm here!

He took my hand but I pushed it away.

- it's okay, everything's fine, you're not alone.

His voice was soft but a little loud, for me to hear over my panic attack.

He took my hand again, caressing it slowly while he made sure I was stabilizing.

I froze, my whole body, even my eyes stuck.

- you're safe here, y/n, it's me, Jake, I'm here with you. You're safe, the doctors say everything is fine, ok? Can you hear me?

I barely moved my head, signaling yes.

- that's good, that's very good, I'm glad your okay.

He kissedy head.

I turned to look at him.

- cause, if you disappear, who am I gonna bug?

I small smile appeared on my lips, I laid back down, still not fully comfortable, but already processing that I wasn't in danger anymore.

That's when everything that happened came to my mind.

I didn't- I mean, I knew it wasn't Jake's fault, but... I don't know, it was bothering me the fact that he was intact sitting next to me, trying to reassure me, after not speaking back there.

I mean, I know I told him not to say names, I don't know, everything feels wrong right now.

I move my hand away from his, rubbing my eyes, I don't even want to turn to look at him.

I stay there, frozen.

- it's okay, I know you need to rest, I'm glad you're safe now, we're safe - he gave me a kiss on the forehead and got out of the room.

[antshifts]

☆ SHIFTING NIGHT TWO ☆

Pre-shifting attempt ✈︎

OK sooo i’m gonna be reattempting the Julia / I am method this time without falling asleep before I can try!! I still have a good feeling about this and I think I can do it 😝! I can’t wait to get there!!! I’ll catch you after my shifting attempt!

Post-shifting attempt ✈︎

So I may have gave up and went to sleep before I could fr try to shift 🙁 again. My bad y'all my bad 😞 but yeah I was tired asf and I waited too late bc I was feeding my ao3 addiction…

Anyways im gonna do better and fr try to shift earlier imma get all my stuff out the way earlier so I can have time to shift 🙏🏾

I did put in a bit of effort tho I had tried the give up and shift method! But for me there was a whole lotta giving up and sleeping and not a lot of shifting… because I didn't even like affirm fr 😭 but oh well i’ll do better next time 🗣️

⭐︎☆ Mission ☆⭐︎

To do a new method every day until I shift!

Goal(s) ;

To shift 😝

Method rating ;

4/10

Fell asleep again 😞

I didn't really try and I just fell asleep instead and didn't shift 😞

What method ;

Was supposed to the I am/ Julia method but I ended up doing the give up and shift method because I was sleepy

Symptoms ;

None fr

How long did it take ;

I was knocked out sleep in like 3 mins 🙁

Did I shift & why or why not ;

No (T_T) because I fell asleep

Extra thoughts ;

I really need to start shifting earlier or when Im not as tired because I just be going to sleep 😭

Summary ;

Sleeping is important 🙁 and I like to sleep a lot. However I need to shift more and so im gonna try to shift earlier or when im not that tired 😝

☆

[h1biscusgal]

IM PLANNING TO SHIFT ON FRIDAY BCZ WHY THE FUCK NOT?!!??!! AND IVE BEEN EXCITED ALL WEEKKKK AND IM GOING TO BE FINALLY DONE WITH MY QUIZZES IM SO HYPEDDD BROOO AND I JUST NEEDDDD TO RANT OVER SOMETHING THAT HAPPNED LIKE TWO DAYS AGO IDK IF ITS A SIGN OR WHATEVER BUT LIKEEEE I DID YOUR HMM METHOD (phenomenal btw) BUT I FELL ASLEEP🙄🙄 BUTTT I THINKKK I HAD SLEEP PARALYSIS BECAUSE I COULDNT MOVE OR ANYTHING AND I WAS LITERALLY SHITTING BRICKS WHEN I HEARD LIKE A WHISPER SAYING “leave here” I SWEARRRR ON MY GRAVEEEEE BUT THANKFULLY MY BODY WOKE UP AND I SWEAR TO MOTHERFUCKING GODD LITERALLY JUST A FEW MINUTES LATER MY PHONE ALARM STARTED RINGING (I put an alarm at 4:44 AM because I feel most spiritual and more motivated to meditate because it’s so relaxinggg especially before school and everything🤭🤭) BUT ANYWAYS MY ALARM WENT OFF AND I LIKE PUT A SUBLIMINAL THING AS THE ALARM AUDIO AND I SWEAR IVE NEVER FELT MORE FREAKEDDD TFFF OUTTTT BECAUSE LATELY IVE BEEN SOOO EXCITED TO SHIFT LIKE I HAVENT BEEN PREPARING OR ANYTHING BCZ I KNOWWW I JUSTTT KNOWWW ITLL HAPPEN LIKE IVE BEEN SEEING ANGEL NUMBERS FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS CONSTANTLY LIKE LITERALLY EVERYWHERE I GO RVEN THOUGH I DONT REALLY BELIEVE IN THEM BUT I GET SO GIDDYYYYY LIKE THIS IS MY TIMEEE BITCHH IM SO EXCITED TO FINALLYYYYY HAVE TIME FOR MYSELF AND GO TO MY MOTHERFUVKING DRRRRR BUT LITERALLY THANKS TO YOUUU BECAUDE YOUR ENERGYYYY MAKES ME SOOO HAPPYYYY TO SHIFTTT LIKE IDKKK HOW TO EXLAIN IT🫶🏼🫶🏼

SO SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT BTW BUT IM JUST SO EXCITEDD

NO FUCK THIS I NEED RANTS LILE THIS KEEP THEM RAW AND COMING IN IMMA EAT EM UP.

KNOANSOJAOJO BESTIE I CANNOT WAIT FOR YOUR TIME, SERIOUSLY? YOU'RE GONNA SHIFT, I JUST KNOW I KNOW IT, I SWEAR SIGNS ARE HIGH RN AND I KNOW DAMN WELL THAT WAS A SIGN ARHHAONLSNAOJP.

fun fact, you just hypnotized yourself that you have always been doing this HENCE THE SIGNS ANS SHIT I KNEW IT.

OJAONSOS I CANNOT WAIT FOR SUCCESS C'MON IM HYPED UP, EVERYONE IS GON SHIFT TONIGHT, CONNECT UP YOU'RE SO CLOSE C'MON

AND BTW I ADORE U FUCKING MORE

[sugar-omi]

what are your general thoughts on step 3 baxter bc i was replaying OL1 and i trying hard not to cackle at the fact baxter is 19 years old in like 2016. bc all i can hear is halsey, p!atd, arctic monkeys when i look at him; it's giving tumblr, hot topic, that specific period of alt fashion. like he looks like a k-pop idol, but has a weirdly deep voice and overly formal way of speaking. like that is a rich sheltered gayboy emo nerd, not a suave daddy dom. his ass is grass and mc is gonna mow it. i'm saying i find his whole aesthetic ridiculous even tho i do have a soft spot for his fear of emotional vulnerability.

LMAOOO NO I READ THE HALSEY, P!ATD, N ARCTIC MONKEYS AND YOU LITERALLY DESCRIBED MY MUSIC TASTE IN 2016-18 PLS JUST ADD MCR AND I AM IN RUINS.....

OMG STOP "HIS ASS IS GRASS AND MC IS GONNA MOW IT" PLS I LOVE YOU YOUR /WORDS/ IM ACTUALLY CRYING

honestly the only reason i don't clown him is bc I think him being older is 🥵🫣 but yeah I had to laugh when they called me Pepe le pew and Victorian emo man

I was literally getting ready to go out the one day after playing the dlc, and was trying not to fuck up my eyeliner from laughing bc pepe le pew is abnormally funny n idek what or who that is

HONESTLY I WAS SO GRATEFUL WHEN HE CHANGED CLOTHES

I COULD GET BEHIND THE SHIRT BUT THOSE PANTS.....

take em off

OH NO WHAT DO YOU THINK HIS UNDERWEAR LOOKED LIKE.... ik in step 4 he had fall leaves on his butt but what abt step 3.... im afraid 😟

okay I totally almost forgot your question, thank god I read things like 5 times before I'm sure I'm not missing smth but general thoughts....

well first thoughts was "who tf is this flirting w my man🤨"

now it's "who let this vampire out the house" bc baxter is so pale... pls I feel like if I put a firefly on him he'd burn like?!)!&*!^!??

final thought: "are you still looking to be sandwiched" bc poly cove/baxter/mc sounds PERFECT for all my issues (will never recover from the dialogue being different if you have cove at fond or crush when you start dating baxter.....)

also I'd like to eat him, did I say that alrdy? well I'd like to shrink him n nibble on him

OH MY GOD THATS OFF TRACK OK STEP 3 BAXTER THO. ID LIKE TO GRAB HIS FACE N YELL AT HIM

knowing he's going to break my heart...... pls... 5 moments wasn't enough imma need reimbursement for this heartache

I wanna sneak into his condo and lay in bed w him and make him laugh until he falls asleep n then I wanna wake him up w breakfast and then I wanna go on a lil stargazing date n walk along the edge of the water, the water only touching his feet when the wave goes up shore

n I wanna find all his lil freckles and moles n count them n be all close n tell him he's pretty like the moon and I wanna put on some song idk the lyrics to bc it's some Spanish love song or smth and make him dance w me even tho the most I can do is spin I a circle and circle literally one hip

and I wanna take him on a long drive w his dumb metal music blasting n make him yell it out w me and I wanna feed him his dumb fries w pie or whatever it was and I wanna make him lay in the grass w me and I wanna go build a dumb sandcastle and get him a silly lil toy that's prbly meant for kids n giggle abt it for a stupid amount of time and when we get home laugh abt it some more and i wanna play my dumb instrument and sing him a dumb song n AKAJHAGA I JUST WANT A FUCKJNG COMING OF AGE MOVIE W HIM I AM JAGADFALAH LOSING MY SHIT

okay.

I'm normal 🧍 ... I like this man a Regular amount

[notsoattractivearenti]

Polar Opposites (Christian Pulisic x Reader) - Part 4

WC: 2.0K

Warnings: curse words, drinking/alcohol

A/N: We're so close to the end! 🥹 Before reading this part, make sure you have read the previous parts 😉 I hope you all enjoy and I'd love to hear your thoughts thru reply/reblog/ask 🫶 If you wanna be added to the taglist let me know 😊 Feedbacks are highly appreciated!

| PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 |

---

Bachelorette party was tonight. Claire didn’t want to have bridesmaids because she thought having you as Person of Honor was enough. You – as someone who loves planning basically everything ­– invited some friends of Claire and arranged the whole thing by yourself. She didn’t request for anything but one – no strippers, which you gladly accepted because you didn’t really think that would be a good idea and knowing Claire, she wouldn’t feel comfortable.

At the time, you and Christian were still texting each other. But you were also still uncertain about your feelings for him, so you kept pulling back and forth. Some days, you would be all friendly, but the other days you would act a little cold towards him – maybe too cold. You even confused yourself because you had never been in this kind of situation before. The thing was, even when you hadn’t replied to his text for 2 days, he kept on sending you new messages every day.

It was Friday evening when the party started. One week prior, you had made a table reservation at yours and Claire’s favorite nightclub – you were looking forward for the party. You just want to distract yourself from the biggest inner struggle at the moment – which was figuring out what you really feel about certain someone.

“Yes!” You talked to yourself as you walked in to the club, unaware your voice were quite loud. “I can’t wait to finally ‘drink to forget’!” 

Claire raised her eyebrows. “Drink to forget? To forget what?”

“Uh, what?” You looked at Claire all confused, before you realized she heard what you said before. “Oh nothing. Forget nothing. Just forget I even said anything.”

You felt your phone vibrated on your pocket, so you took it out and saw 3 new messages from Christian. 

Is the bachelorette party tonight?

Have fun! 🙌🏻

Don’t get too drunk 😂 Rehearsal dinner is tomorrow

You texted him back before putting your phone away.

can’t promise anything lol thanks

The time you all got to the table, plenty of drinks – mostly cocktails and shots – had been served. You immediately grabbed 2 shot glasses and ready to start off the party with a toast.

“Everyone, let’s raise our glasses,” you started your toast, “to send off our beloved bride-to-be, Claire to marriage life!”

“Let’s drink and have some fun!”

---

That night, you had a lot of drink – too much, you were pretty boozy.

It was already 12 AM, but since you were still very drunk you didn’t notice time. You were laying on the sofa, then got on your phone, and drunk dialed a number – you weren’t aware it was Christian’s number. He didn’t pick up because he was asleep, so your call went straight to voicemail.

“This is Christian Pulisic, leave your message.”

“Heyyyyyy whaa- Christian? I d’no why I call yeeee” you slurred your speech, you were genuinely surprised to hear his voice.

“I uh, I guess I uhh...” you took a shot of vodka before continuing, “ahhh, I just wanna say, I fuckin hate yer guts!”

“But Chrissss...” your began to murmured, "I thinkkkk I wike yooouuu...”

 “Ohhh pffftt, I mean wike! No, ughhh,” you groaned, “like. Theeeereee I say itttttt... I la-la-la-like youuuu.”

“Aaaanyway, imma go have more drinks,” you said as you got off to take another shots, “bye there!” You hung up your phone and threw it to the sofa.

---

The next morning, you woke up with a bad hangover – your day started with a throbbing headache and vomits, you reeked of alcohol. 

“Ugh, Claire, my head fucking hurts,” you complained to Claire, “I must’ve drunk too much last night.”

“Yeah you fucking did!” She laughed. “Y/N, you were so out of control last night it was funny to watch!”

“Did I do something stupid? Please, please tell me I didn’t.”

“I mean... Uh...” She tried to recall. “Nothing illegal though, so uh... You’re good I guess?”

You were relieved. “Okay good. Shit, I’m going to sober up for the rehearsal dinner tonight.”

“YOU BETTER BE,” Claire jokingly screamed into your ears, she was amused by how hungover you were and wanted to get a reaction out of you.

“Ah!!! Fuck you Claire!” You covered your ears and squeezed your eyes shut. “That was too loud!”

“I don’t care,” she chuckled. “Go shower and brush your teeth a million times, you smell like a walking bar.”

---

It was finally time for rehearsal dinner. You still were a little hangover, but at least you could function a lot better than this morning. Because you didn’t think you could handle alcohol just yet, you skipped the champagne for the night and had water instead.

As you skimmed the room, you saw Christian was coming over. You tried to act cool even though your heart was beating really fast.

“So...” He started the conversation the moment he stood next to you, “how was bachelorette party, Y/N? Bet you had too much fun.”

“It was fine.” You answered coldly.

“You know, I got a voicemail from someone...”

You gave him a side eye. You thought whatever he was about to say wasn’t that important, so you tried to not give him any attention.

“It’s not just a voicemail, it’s actually umm... A confession?” He smirked.

You started to feel curious. “What do you mean?”

“Someone told me they, uh, how do they say it... Oh, wike! Wait, no. Umm, lalalalike me?”

Your eyes widened. It sounded familiar, but you really couldn’t recall why.

“Wait, did I call you last night???” You nervously asked.

He jokingly asked you back. “I don’t know, did you?”

“Come on Christian,” You whined. “Be serious! I really have no memories about any fucking things after what seemed like to be my one hundredth drink last night.”

“Let me refresh your memory.” He took his phone out of his pocket, then gave you a listen to a voicemail you didn’t remember sending. You covered your face and grumbled – you couldn’t even look at him. At the moment, you felt you were ready to grab a fork and stabbed yourself with it.

“Fuck Christian I-” you stuttered out of embarrassment, “I... I am so... so so so sorry I left you that message. I- I really don’t remember even calling you!”

“That’s okay. I get it, you were drunk. Well, at least now we know alcohol brings honesty out of you.” 

“Oh God...” You whimpered.

“Look, Y/N, sorry that you hate my guts, but-”

“Can you just um, erase that?” You asked him anxiously. “And uh, forget it ever happened?” 

He frowned. “Why?”

“Uh... I didn’t even know what I was talking about. I mean... I was clearly under the influence.” 

“Wait,” he said quietly, “don’t you want to know what I think?”

 “I... I don’t...” You stuttered. “I don’t kn-”

“Y/N, Christian!” You two heard Claire called your names and waved. “It’s time!”

You nodded at her, then went back to Christian. “Let’s go there, come on.”

“Yeah sure.” He coldly walked away, he seemed really hurt.

For the entire rehearsal dinner, Christian didn’t talk to you. He glanced at you once in a while, but that was it. You were just really ashamed because of that drunk voicemail you sent him – how you basically told him how you felt about him. 

---

At the end of the dinner, you finally had the courage to talk to him.

“Christian,” you tapped his shoulder, “can we talk for a minute?”

“Sure,” he said as he pulled a chair next to him, he didn’t even look at you.

You sat there, and there was a moment of silence.

He finally broke the silence, “what is it?”

“Uh, listen...” You took a deep breath. “The truth is, I’m still unsure of how I feel about you.”

“I have never had feelings to anyone like you. You can be insufferable most of the times, and the thought of that bothers me...”

“Well that’s flattering.” He blurted.

“You know what I mean!” You shouted.

“Anyway, it’s just... What if this feeling is temporary? What if our two, contrasting personalities could never work? I don’t want to get hurt, Christian. I just can’t.” You whimpered.

He listened, but he didn’t say a word.

“I am embarrassed that I sent you that message. That’s why I asked you to delete and forget. And I have yet to figure out how I really feel about you.” You explained.

He pressed his lips together and nodded, but still no words came out.

“Well... Don’t you have something to say to me?” You asked.

“Oh, me?” He pointed at himself. “Tsk. I don’t know.”

“Uh, okay...” You said nervously. “I guess I’ll le-”

As you were ready to leave, you heard him softly confessed, “I like you too.”

You froze for a minute. It felt like your heart stopped beating and the time just stopped ticking – you couldn’t help to let out a smile. “Go on.”

“I was so glad you sent me that voicemail, Y/N. It was the perfect start of my day. I don’t care whether you were drunk or not, at least I now know how you feel about me.” He admitted, his voice sounded shaky. “So when you asked me to pretend it never happened, it hurt me.”

“Chris...”

“I’m not done.” He stopped you.

“Not only that, I don’t know if you notice but you’ve been so hot and cold with me for months! It’s exhausting.” He admitted.

In response, you mouthed “I’m sorry.”

“Look, I’m not going to ask you to make up your mind now, but just so you know... I’m into you. Like, really into you. No matter how much I ‘despise’ you.” He said, giving you a little smile at the end.

You chuckled. “Thank you, Christian.”

You smiled and gazed into each other’s eyes in silent until you heard Claire called your name.

“Y/N! Let’s go home!”

“Oh, I have to go,” you said as you got off your seat. “The bride needs me.”

“See you tomorrow, Best Man.”

“Can’t wait, Person of Honor.”

---

You had spent the last two nights at Claire’s, while Nick stayed over at Christian’s. You hadn’t stopped smiling since the conversation you had with Christian and Claire noticed that.

“Y/N... What’s going on with you?” She asked.

“What?”

“You seem way too happy and it’s freaking me out!” She laughed. “Does Christian have something to do with this?”

You jokingly acted surprised, even though she was right. “How bold of you to assume that!”

“Well does he though? Y/N, I’m not going to sleep before you tell me everything!” Claire demanded.

“No! Are you kidding? Tomorrow’s your wedding... You need enough sleep!”

“You know Y/N, it is the rule to always say ‘yes’ to the bride.”

You playfully gasped. “Are you seriously using your bride card right now?”

“Indeed I am,” she said proudly, “now talk!”

“Ugh fine,” you hesitantly gave up, “I’ll tell you. Bear with me.”

You told her about the drunk voicemail and how it ended up with Christian confessing his feeling to you. Claire – who basically has been rooting for you and him – was very delighted to hear the story.

But she was a little concerned about one thing. “So, Y/N, do you... Really like him?”

“I think I am... But I’m not sure.”

“You have to figure it out very soon, Y/N. He’s not going to wait forever, you know? Don’t toy with his feelings.” She advised.

“I’m aware, but you know it’s not that easy, right? I have no idea why I become this indecisive.” Your voice started breaking. “This shit... It has been messing with my head for fucking months now...” 

“We’re just... How do you say it?” You tried to think of the term. “Uh, polar opposite?”

“I understand,” she sympathized, “but maybe you’re thinking too much into it.”

You nodded, you were relieved you had the talk with Claire.

“If you want to, Y/N,” she continued, “you can work those differences out.”

You went silent for a while, thinking about what Claire just said to you. Maybe she’s right? Can we work it out?

---

taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @masonspulisic @swimmingismywholelife @chelseagirl98 @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14 @mortirolo @masonsrem @cinderellawithashoe @alwaysclassyeagle @ala2ilas-s

[ratlordsarah]

not me eating apple pie for breakfast while pulling an all nighter 💀

i look like I am having my mid life crisis right now 💀 (I'm tryna beat my record of 42 hours no sleep)

So basically, I make these really strong caffeine concoctions that make you stay up for long periods of time, 4 sips lasted me from 12am to 5am, and I had another 6 sips of it (I tend to hit a plateau from 5-7am) and once 8 am rolls around, i should be really hyper till 4pm.

After 4, I hit another plateau until 6pm, and then I get really hyper again, and I would fall asleep at around 11pm, as that's normally where i give into the sleep, but I have a personal record to set, so imma hopefully go later than that.

Something I should mention is the fact that the earliest time I have gone to bed was the new years of 2022 was 11pm, when I was in 6th grade. Additionally, I am an 8th grader now, and I normally go to bed at 12-1 am ish

Either way, I feel like a true sigma right now, I feel like a mad scientist plotting an evil scheme 😈

Also, if I notice anything severe that's bad for me (I did my research) il certainly stop and hit the hay , (saying this so i dont get scolded in the comments)💀

Update unter cut

THE SUN IS BLINDING HAVAHAH 💀

Literally the mood rn, cus the sky is blue but the most orange light is shining through the windows😭

[bvnnyl0v3r]

An Angel's Kiss pt.4

A/N: okay imma immediately say: I‘ll continue the timeline as it is rn and work my way up (mainly bc i live in germany and we only got 23 parts and the 24th part is coming out in idk how many months I am dying from spoilers 😭😭😭) also like idek why I am writing Nikolai to be a total asshole he‘s my fave character but at the same time I just….. is it wrong to want tobe mistreated by a white haired man who definetly does not have all his cups in the cupboard (someone help It‘s 3am and that cupboard cup thingy is a german thing that we germans say instead of having some loose screws I am so fucked out) 

TW: mention of near death experiences, blood, wounds, dirty talk, Nikolai is still just….. *sighs dramatically*, needles, slapping, for once (NAME) is being the weird one

What you did not expect this lovely morning as you woke up was….. Nikolai. In your bed….. well okay you sorta did expect it since he does not know personal space with you but the unexpecting part was that he was covered in blood, you were covered in blood and your sheets were covered in blood. You checked to see if that bastard actually dared to die in your arms but luckily he didn‘t.

While you coulhave done the world a favor and left him to die your dumbass‘ first thought was to drag him into the kitchen and pour cold water over him to wake him up and then get out the medkit. After all Fyodor‘s surgery book did help you sew some of the wounds shut. Well that was while Nikolai was still half asleep half dead but now he was neither half asleep nor half dead so he was just groaning like the fucking masochist he is.

And sitting there trying to treat someones wounds while they keep on saying:

“that‘s it darling….. just like that…. Fuck that burned….bet you like me like this don‘t ya, baby~ whimpering just for you~ ngh~“

Was not at all a pleasant way to pass your time so after the first 15 minutes you‘d had enough

“Can you stopdirty talking me while I treat you fucking wounds???“

„But baby, my pretty darling, don‘t you looooovvveeee meeee~“

….

when Sigma came in because he heard a scream….

…..

…he just immediately walked out again at the sight of you stabbing nikolai‘s main blood vain in the upper arm. Sadly he survived....

About 10pm you wanted to go to bed. A good plan indeed as Fyodor was finally out the house just as sigma and fukuchi so it was just you and Nikolai. Nikolai had gotten a set of rules from the others. Much against his will as they "chained him even more than he already was" and "he'll never be free" but at some point agreeing when fyodor told him he'll lock him up in an actual bird cage if he doesn't collaborate.

So you finally got your sleep. 4 lovely hours until you shrieked up from a nightmare. To terrified to go back to sleep in your own bed you took a light and walke dover to Nikolai's room. To your surprise he was already asleep wich you found weird as you didn't think he'd sleep before 3am but who cares anyway. You were gonna wake him up and make him help you somehow. I mean yeah he may not seem the smartest but he actually can have some brain. 

So here you were. Sitting on Nikolai's bed. Trying to get the snoring bastard to wake up as he kept on sleeping. You got tired again so in the end you decide ife he can you andomly cuddle up to you so can you.

...

You don't know when you woke up but Nikolai was in a shock state. Looking at you with eyes wide open and an awkard grin. His arms tightly around your waist. Seeing this terrifying sight infront of you your flight or fight instict kicked in and you slapped him.

"OW WHAT THE FUCK (NAME)"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING STARING AT ME LIKE THAT"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED"

"I COULDN'T SLEEP IN MINE I HAD A NIGHTMARE"

"SO YOU DECIDED TO GET IN MY BED WITHOUT WAKING ME, CUDDLE UP TO ME AND SLAP ME AS SOON AS YOU WAKE UP"

"I TRIED WAKING YOU UP BUT YOU SNORING BASTARD DIDN'T WAKE UP"

Then silence made it's way through the room until Nikolai speaks

"let's get mclfurries"

"For once youhad a good idea"

A/N: idk wtf happened at the end i'm honest. It's 3am again I can't sleep HELP THIS WAS IN MY DRAFTS FOR 3 MONTHS OR SO

[flavors-of-love-vn]

Good morning/afternoon/evening!!

So, this is a new visual novel . . . 👀

Can I ask for some random facts about Arian?

— ✨️

Hi anonnie!! ( =＾ω＾) I'm so glad you stumbled on my page!!

Arian favorite color is light green!!

He prefers early morning times !! 1-4 am.

He dresses mainly in pastel/kidcore!! Whatever style makes his Sweetie happy, he will occasionally dress as to bring a smile to their face.

Random hc's about him!! ♧

Arian is more of a cunning guy, he tends to maneuver his way out of situations that blame him. He has an extremely short temper with other people except for his Sweetie, if he says something while he's angry 7/10 he doesn't mean it. Unfortunately, he'll try and convince you he never said anything at all.

"What do you mean, sweetie? I never said that. Now, let's get ice cream!"

♡ Romantic HCs

He is very romantic and overly touchy with his partner, but he tries and stays wary of your boundaries. If you accept at least some form of contact, he'll be more than happy to just link pinkies while walking somewhere. He needs skin to skin contact. It helps him stay grounded.

◇ More romantic hcs

Arian loves his Sweetie dearly, caring for their every need. Perhaps being a bit too overbearing though. He is a baker !! He usually makes red velvet and funfetti, or whatever his Sweetie prefers!! Red Velvet reminds him of a very similar red liquid.

If his Sweetie is living with him or vice versa, he will take over the household chores. He prefers his Sweetie to feel like they have freedom in what they do.

Your in pain HC'S [cuz i feel ickkkyyy ヽ(*´＾｀)ﾉ]

If you have back pain or period pain trust he will be at your beck and call!! Unless he's at work, which is the only time he will call and TRUST one of your friends to take care of you while he's busy.

If you have a chronic illnesses of any kind, Arian will do his best to find you medication or relief from your symptoms. If it causes you pain and it can't be relieved with medicine, he will hold you close to convince you to fall asleep. You can't see his misdeeds or feel your pain while asleep, right?

𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧 !! ♡ 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐤𝐚𝐲?

[ Oookay guys hope you enjoyed (-ε- ) , pms is kicking my ass right now so imma go eeeppiess , stay safe and have a good day sweeties!! - cake ]

[quodekash]

os2 x eclipse ep2 part 2 of my silly little commentary

oh thats weird, why is the cafe for all worker hosting the competition?

(huzzah i am funnie)

seriously tho, youd think aye would recognise them

YAYYYYYY WAT WONNNN

SANI TAKING PHOTOS GHRDFJBG I LOVE HER

SHES SO PROUD OF HIM

"this is my first short film. sorry- our first. it's a story of what we face in real life. Thank you to all my friends for always supporting me. Thank you to my advisor, Teacher Sani. If you hadn't asked me that day, I wouldn't have made it here today. I also want to thank my family. Even though they don't really approve of me making movies, they secretly transferred me money in the end. Thank you."

EVERY SENTENCE HE SAID WAS ANOTHER REASON TO CRY

HOLY HELL IM NOT OKAY

OMG

hell yes imma add this to the collection

"even though your movie is not very perfect, i could see the power and sincerity in it." "thank you" "keep making films. dont give up." "i wont" HIS LITTLE SHRUG- I CANTTT

BGRHEFJDBS

HES SO HAPPY

ITS MAKING ME HAPPY

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

PROBABLY TOO MUCH

BUT ITS FINE

THIS JUDGE GUY IS SO COOL

IM GONNA CRY

I LOVE THIS GEHIRKBSG

FIEWUKJSBDGFEKJBSDGFOU4EJWBNFIOKNEWDSPIGNVPIERKDSFPIN4EWSDPIGNVPEORIDNSGOPVIENBRPISDGNVEORIJDSBGNPIO34JBWENGPIVE4PRIKGHJBOPEIRNFDOIBJN THE HUG

HES SO HAPPYYYYY

IM SOBBING

SANIS FACE-

NAMO LITERALLY SEES EVERYTHING

HOW DOES HE SEE EVERYTHING

HE ALWAYS KNOWS

the lights went out

finally

here it is

aye's about to be dramatic

and im probably gonna scream and cry (in a good way)

GUITAR CHORD STRUM THINGY GHDRBHT

YUP

YUP YUP YUP YUP YUP YUP YUP YUP

YAYYYY

im giggling and sobbing at the same time

HES CRYING AAAA

im so glad im watching this now instead of last night bc its so much easier to scream out loud

AND AKK'S GONNA START SINGING TOO, RIGHT???

LOOK AT HIS FLIPIN FACE AAAAAA

YES

YES

YES

GIUERKDSBJGREUVJB

IM SCREAMING AND SOBBING AND LAUGHING AND DYING AND GIGGLING ALL AT THE SAME TIME SOMEBODY HELP

GFUIREBGNIUEFRBAAAAAAAAA

im sobbing

hes such a good singer

i love first's voice so much

WAIT I ONLY JUST NOTICED THAT LINE

"if you dont like it, if you're not okay, let me know. ill stop."

the freaking PARALLELS

IM SCREAMING SO LOUD RN

THE FREAKING FLASHBACKS

WHAT THE HELL

IM DYING

GIRHDKBJGFBJTKRDFAAAAAAA

IM NOT OKAY AND THEY ARE THE REASON WHY

ITS THE EXACT SAME SCENE

EPISODE 10, 3/4, IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME AS THAT

AND THAT SCENE HAPPENS TO BE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SCENES

SO I AM COMPLETELY DYING

BUT ITS LITERALLY THE EXACT SAME SCENE

THEYRE SO SILLY

I LOVE THEM

AAAAAAAAAAAA

WELL NOW ITS EXACTLY THE SAME AS EPISODE 11 WHERE THEYRE LYING IN BED

ITS THE SAME FREAKING THING

THESE FREAKING PARALLELS WILL BE THE END OF ME

oooo graduation blessing

"people say that life is like a journey. i want you to keep going forward to reach each of your destinations or goals." I LOVE HER

"keep going forward without knowing if there's light at the end of the tunnel" SERIOUSLY KAN, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP VOICING MY FEARS, ITS RUDE

"of course. you guys have done it before. you have walked out of those dark shadows." TY SANI THATS SO SWEET IM CRYING

THUAKAN MOMENT

PLATONIC WATSANI MOMENT

OMG

Y E S

YES YES YES YES

THIS IS LITERALLY EXACTLY WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR

I SCREAMED SO LOUD

THEY HUGGGGGGGG

"thank you for never letting go of my hand" WHAT THE HELL THE PARALLELS- NOW ITS THE SCENE AT THE START OF EPISODE 10 WHERE AYE FAINTS AND THEY GO TO HIS HOUSE AND THEY FALL ASLEEP AND THEY FALL ASLEEP HOLDING HANDS AND AYE SAYS SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND HOLY HELL

THIS IS THE GREATEST FREAKING EPISODE OF ANYTHING EVER OH MY GOODNESS

my face hurts from smiling so much in this episode

SERIOUSLY, THE PARALLELS ARE INSANE

EVEN THEIR EXPRESSIONS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME

"i love you too. shortstop." AAAAAAAAAA

damn, they end with what they cut out of the actual show

i love them so much

oh, look at that, theyre ending with what the actual show had to cut out

anyway WHAT THE HELL THAT WAS INCREDIBLE

EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT WAS PERFECTION

MY NEW FAVOURITE EPISODE OF ANYTHING EVER

AND PUENTALAY NEXT WEEK???? GIUERJKBDG

oh look at that i used up all 30 photos again

how the hell is anything real rn

THEYRE GONNA BE DADS?????? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL

WELL

THAT WAS SOMETHING

im gonna go cry for the rest of the day, peace out

[malamai]

Today I absolutley sucked. ✌️

Last night I could not sleep (common issue in my world, I know.) No matter what sleep aid I took, what I did, last night was a bad night for me, it was particularly awful because it was my management shift today. YIPEE... so I ended up FINALLY managing to get myself to sleep for a light nap, I got up at 6am, threw on my work clothes and while I was looking in my drawer for socks, I literally fell asleep The sims 4 style from exhaustion while trying to find the socks. Then slept through two alarms that I set for work and suddenly I opened my eyes and realised it was light outside and instantly knew I was late as fuck because it was 9am and I wasn't meant to be on the floor, I was meant to be at my desk about 30 minutes previous to that moment. So I jump up and like any normal person, naturally I scream "SHIT" and I ran, SOCKLESS BY THE WAY, I ran so fast from my house to work I got to the other part of town in less than seven minutes and now I have blisters from my vans. JOY...

I get to work and a customer is pulling up and hops out of his car, he's like "do you open later now?" And I'm like frantic and out of breath telling him "no. I slept in, ill tell you more when I can breathe again." Because I ran RELENTLESSLY to the point where I was coughing and coughing and I'm trying to call admin and I can't even speak to admin because I can't catch my breath, she's like "imma call you back", I'm trying to set everything up in the shop, the dude who caught me outside decided to help put things up on display (which I really REALLY fucking appreciated) and I eventually got the shop together and made myself a coffee. I then popped to to toilets and l caught a glimps of myself in the mirror AND FUCK ME, I looked like I had been on a week long bender! My hair was all over, bags under my eyes, pale (probably from the lack of oxygen in my body) I looked dishevelled and ridiculous! 😂

Luckily for me because of how open I have been with the admin and higher up colleagues about what is going on in my life I was instantly given a decision of "no further action" because as it was said on the phone, they are aware of how much I have going on at the moment and they think it's a wonder that I power on through and haven't taken time off, which I appreciate. I also spoke to admin about everything new going on and found myself laughing at points and it was weird but nice, because she was laughing with me and i said "sorry I know I shouldnt laugh but I do just find myself laughing at that now. Like it's really not funny HA!" and she said "Misty, that's trauma, you've had a lot of trauma lately, sometimes when we process that we find ourselves looking back and laughing." While also laughing with me and she's very right.

Towards the end of my shift I was 30 minutes late out because people wouldn't leave and then some random guy decided to walk into my life and put £57 worth of coins made up of various small change into one of the machines and then turn to me and say "well that's one way to get rid of my shrapnel!" And smile. LITERALLY. It made me wish there was shrapnel in my brain because he could of just brought me the money and I would have changed it for him and not had to count it at stupid o'clock and TO TOP IT OFF. I HAD TO COIN EVERY PENNY AND THE MONEY WAS FUUUUCKING STICKY!!!! 🤮🤮🤮 I was too exhausted and cranky to be dealing with sticky dirty money!

In all seriousness I am not surprised I was so tired that I just flopped because at the moment I find myself feeling like a forgotten part of society. As a mother I have been in many situations in my life, I have been the teenage mother, I have been the workaholic motherand I have been the judged tattooed mother but weirdly I find this most recent one the toughest, and I can respect the fact that I have clawed my way to making it to a place where some people who didn't have kids as a teen would struggle to get to but there is literally no fucking help for a 30 year old woman who owns her own house who's relationship ended. Right now I am on antidepressants, sleep aid, iron, folic acid beause of b12 anemia, I'm working my ass off, not using childcare so it doesn't gobble up my wage. The other parent moved 40 minutes away and the only help I am getting is from my parents, for a day and a night a week, I'm still hosting the sleepovers, I'm still playing the games, I'm still making ends meet and on top of all that I am fixing up this house! It's like when your kids are over the age of 5 years old you are just expected to juggle on a unicycle with flaming wheels and keep the shit show going and smile til you drop and I don't get it! We just have to get though it! It seems to me eveytime you find a helping hand you can't reach for it because it will risk fuck up something else and its not fair. Nobody wants to end up a single parent at 30 but it seems like as a woman of this age, in this position in society you are pushed to your limit and backed into a corner.

On a lighter note, I have 2 days holiday now and I am taking the kids to their first gig tomorrow with my best friend! I am going to let my hair down and embarrass the life out of my kids! 😁

[fire-but-ashes-too]

Hi hi, hows the all-nighter going?

hiii pretty good actually it’s 4 am here, I survived the lamp crash and my brother fell asleep :)

now I’m reading but imma do something later like stretching cause I hurt my back while falling haha

[b4ts1e]

So- I as relistening to BitterSweet from YuuriVoice and had a few ideas on some one-shots from it. Imma write those when I can, but I figured I should update ya'll on a few things first. (No BitterSweet did not have anything to do with what I'm gonna talk about, just reminded me to update for you all.)

Warning- this may get a tad bit personal and may trigger people who have had similar experiences. (This is why there will be no tags on this post, also- reblogs have been turned off for this post.)

To make a long story short- my mental health was in the shithole for a little bit and I was severely stressed out. I've made a few changes to my routine to better not only my mental health, but my physical health too. Things like: changing my diet, sort of fixing my sleep schedule, becoming more physically active, and basically rewriting my whole schedule.

Before hand I was falling asleep at 7am and waking up at 4pm only to take care of my basic needs before going to work and coming home and pushing myself to write or taking a day to relax and play a game. However- after a while of that I fell ill, twice. My body forced me to properly rest and when I was starting to get better, finally, someone important to me talked to me about what was going on and helped me identify it properly.

I was in a sort of out of body mode, falling into some pretty bad habits that I used to do awhile ago. The person said it was most likely a mix of a bipolar depression episode and a derealization experience. I have experienced this kind of situation before, but it lasted much longer the last time- luckily they were able to help me break out of it and assist me into taking the right steps to avoid it happening again.

Currently I am doing much better, and said person has been looking into hiring a proper therapist for me. Maybe even a psychologist if it's deemed necessary. As soon as I'm doing a tad bit better I swear I'll get back into writing publicly again- however I cannot guarantee it will be frequently. Maybe proper writing posts between 2-4 times a month, but that'll be something that starts after I become far more used to the new schedule.

Thank you all so much for your continued enjoyment of my writings, it brings a smile to my face everytime someone likes a post if mine. And thank you for your patience.

[officeobject]

Today I'm scared because I think I made someone mad at me, and they haven't even posted a single THING since I asked ... so, of course, since I almost pass out from fear nowadays (and am going on a magical adventure to a place called, "The Doctor"), I just decided to fall asleep, to sleep the feelings away - I'd keep waking up though, so I'd just repeatedly fall asleep and check if they've blocked me yet when up - I even didn't eat dinner, because me was sleepy - and when I woke up, I just didn't come out, and kept falling asleep - now, I don't recommend napping for like 4 hours, and now I'm physically like shit, and nothing changed, and the ones I vent to, do be like "I'm sure they're not mad at you (if they even care about you)!", but for some reason, I can't be convinced, and I keep having dreams of scenarios, and I also thought of my childhood, so now I'm kinda not feeling like I'm alive, but to be honest, I guess sometimes one just needs that - anyways, venting here typically makes me feel better, so that's a thing, and yes it's a Hellaverse critic, so it IS relevant - one could say I'm in the best era of my life actually, so Lord knows why I'm so scared sometimes, but regardless, Imma not leave the community - although I do have to survive, like, 10 days without my number 1 mood-stabilizer, so if you talk to me whenever that starts, I may or may not cling to the nearest thing/person metaphorically and/or be venting even more and/or be, like, very emotional and all - maybe I'll just try to focus on critiquing Helluva Boss when that happens - by the way, the f is the difference between "critiquing" and "critisizing"? And how do I fix my sleep? And yes I know I shouldn't be sleeping away my problems, or addicting away my personality, but I really don't know what ELSE to do, and that weird psycological hunger can be really painful (also, I didn't get much sleep the night before, so I seriously mean I was genuinely tired sometimes - I'm actually basically having a cold ... again ... and kept being weak today). 

[xxundeadfanboixx]

got my prescription refilled yesterday so I was -thankfully- able to sleep last night. but because my dosage was increased imma be a bit drowsy for the first couple of days I wake up from them. so have some sleepy head canons for my characters :)

Míchéal

- Sleeps from 11 pm - 4 am.

- Has insomnia and finds it a struggle to sleep most nights. He does have medication to help with this, but by the time he pulls himself away from his work to take them, it's already way past a decent enough time and he decides to just not.

- You can tell how exhausted Míchéal is by seeing how he makes his coffee. The more additions put into it (flavoring, creamer, sugar, ECT) the less tired he is. If you ever see him just drinking coffee straight from the pot, please get Sargent MacTavish to strong arm him into taking a nap. For his own safety. We'd rather not have another incident.

- Has nightmares often, to the point he is almost desensitized to them.

- Sleeps in the random shirt and baggy sweats combo. he also sleeps with his socks on

Sparrow

- Sleeps from 9 pm - 5 am

- Sparrow is not a morning person, she gets very bitchy and temperamental if/when she doesn't get enough beauty sleep.

- Has to have some type of background noise going on when off base. Since joining the military, Rory finds it uncomfortable and unnerving and damn-near impossible to be able to fall asleep in the quiet.

- Sleeps in just a sports bra and a pair of shorts or pants. She just doesn't like the feeling of sleeping with a shirt on, and if it wasn't for the time Soap came to wake her up on morning and got a very angry (and very topless) Rory, she wouldn't sleep with anything on at all.

Dust Mite

- 2 am - 4 am

- Leon doesn't sleep, at least never for long periods of time. They take what you'd call 'cat naps'. They sleeps in increments of 30-120 minutes (half an hour to two hours).

- Run on energy drinks and sleep deprivation. Has the worst and most unhealthy sleeping habits out of the three.

- Takes naps in the most random of places, but their favorite nap spot is Ghost's bed or in his closet.

- Sleeps in whatever he was wearing, doesn't change. Probably doesn't even understand the concept of PJs.

[nathank77]

12/8/24

9:39 a.m

Today has been wonderful. For one I had to clean the dryer so I could start laundry cause unfortunately until this dog leaves I'm never going to stop. Washing it with warm water and soap can neutralize poison ivy. So imma do it until she dies and then for like 5 months or so after so that by that time any bit of it is gone.

My mother was riding my ass the entire time and i had to put in my eye ointment. Which I'm not even sure how long I need to use it. You run the risk of overusing it and then it not being effective or underusing it and then the stye returns......... so I'm still using it. He said like 2 days....... that's asking for my eye to get another stye. I might use it for 5 or 6 days... idk...

Also I had to shit in a bag again in the kitchen bc she had to change her bag... I didn't even light up a cigarette to try to not need to go but when the train comes it comes.

I'm just stressed about everything.

Sleep was shit i closed my eyes for a long time but I was able to achieve sleep in 1 hour and 30 minutes without more drugs.... and I was able to stay asleep... but I had to pee around 4 am and i ate a protien bars and fell back to sleep...

I FORGOT to take my xanax and Hydroxyzine for bed... I brushed my teeth and was like omg I got to take those pills but I also had to do the eye ointment.. and I saw that my xanax addiction is just as bad as my nicotine except... worse...... I was so fucking irritated and anxiuos until the pill hit... and it hit like almost a hour after it normally would bc I forgot to take it and brushed my teeth and then I had to do the eye ointment... that's probably why I took a hour and a half to fall asleep. Bc I took it almost a hour after I normally do.... but I stupidly closed my eyes at like 10:40 p.m only 10 minutes or so before it would have been in my system for a hour... when normally i close my eyes a hour and half after it's all in my system.

And I had a very detailed dream about her. She was divorcing her husband and seeing someone else. And also friends with me. I mean I was just glad she was talking to me. Idc who she was with. Or who i was to her just that I mattered to her and I was in her life bc she wanted me to be apart of it.