#imma dip

[itstheghostofmypast]

I just wanna have a chat with whoever designed our schedule for uni- just a little convo. Must take a big boi brain to produce a schedule where the only time you can rest in the grav- unless you have a presentation of course,for as they tell us

"Plan your emergencies properly"

I'll make sure to trip down the stairs after I present for sure.

[jkslipppiercing]

PLEASE VOTE!!

one more thing...

[cyberthot666]

where is that girl that was like “there are so few fine men in this world and they’re always doing some corny shit like this”

[thisgunisonfire]

Happy save democracy day everyone!

[betweenblackberrybranches]

Presenting Lilac Sun

I just like putting the blorbos in cute costumes

[magicalgrimm]

Puppy play or something idk

This joke was heavily inspired by @orengejoshi ‘s art piece

[supalonly]

"where were you?"

[cringefail-clown]

you guys remember the post ive made about classpecting my old ocs and how their session would be Terrible? well here they are. i imagine theyd be a bunch of college students who once were childhood internet friends that kinda fell apart, but decided to reconnect over winter break by playing a new and fresh game that just appeared on the market. chaos ensues

[kausijuoppo]

Unrestrained summer fun

[sainzinnorris]

taking this just with audio alone is the most CarLando thing ever...and the fact that all of this is real. and not even edited. the “ ai ai ai ” and “ oh- ah- ” is so. anyways, this is too domestic and married couple things, added with bonus of lewis just third wheeling and CarLando just having the time of their lives together.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Honestly, shout out to Oropher and Thranduil for not getting involved in the incest party.

Legolas politely doesn’t think about the fact that Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen’s family tree is a wreath, because honestly, he finds it super weird. The amount of times Legolas has had to restrain himself from clapping back at any comments about his family with “yeah, well at least our romantic interests isn’t made up exclusively of our cousins” is surreal.

Legolas, when Aragorn and Arwen fall in love: so! I love and support you both, i would die for you! But would it kill ya’ll to stop falling in love with your cousins?!? I know it’s technically the nth time removed, but still!

[landhoesnorris]

Through the Phone - Lando Norris

Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader

Warnings: 18+, Smut, Phone Sex

A/N: This is set at the beginning of the 2022 season after Lando just moved to Monaco. This was my inspiration

You heard your phone vibrate from the coffee table as you sat, glass of wine in hand, scrolling endlessly through netflix trying to find something to watch to cure your boredom. You leant forward to grab your phone seeing that you’d received a message from Lando. Yours and Lando’s relationship was, for lack of a better word, complicated. From the outside looking in everyone would have thought you were a couple, a very in love couple at that. Anytime you were even so much as in the same room as one another you would gravitate towards each other unknowingly,  And once you were beside each other that was never enough. Hands would come to leave gentle touches, arms would find themselves holding the other closer, just anything to feel the comfort of the other. And once alcohol was added into the mix everything would be escalated. Subtle touches turned into kisses and holding one another as close as possible, hands leaving no area untouched, no care in the world at who would see. However, you and Lando would adamantly deny that anything was going on, claiming to just be “best friends who fuck”. And you did that. A lot. Anytime he would come home after a race it would be your place he would be headed to rather than his own, it had become almost routine at this point. He would show up, debrief you about the weekend, all the while the pair of you would get closer and closer on the sofa until you were straddled over his lap making a comment about either congratulating him for a good weekend or comforting him for a bad one.

And it worked for the pair of you, the arrangement you had in place was perfect. That was until he decided to move to Monaco. 3 races into the season and you were missing your post race debriefs more than you ever would have thought. Sure the pair of you had still seen each other when he’d came to the UK for McLaren related work but it wasn’t the same.  Mostly when you’d seen him it had been in a group surrounding, him wanting to make the most of his limited time back by seeing everyone he could, which meant there was only rare occasions when you would see each other one on one. Even when he did spend the night at yours he was often gone before you even woke up the next morning. It wasn’t only the sex you missed but also the comfort of your best friend, you even strangely missed the smoke alarm waking you up in the morning because he was trying to be sweet and make you breakfast in bed.

You slid open the message from Lando.

I miss you :(

…

As soon as you opened the message you noticed the three dots at the bottom indicating that he was still typing. After waiting a couple minutes for him to type his next message to no avail you decided to reply to him, opening the thread still seeing the typing dots.

if this is you writing to confess your undying love for me could you speed it up a bit i’m getting bored over here.

oh and i guess i SLIGHTLY miss you too

You loved winding him up and how easily you could do it. You just knew he was currently sitting in his apartment getting all huffy over your response to him missing you.

Wasn’t going to confess my love was going to invite you to the race next weekend but now I’m not.

so you admit it you do love me you’re just not confessing your love for me? thanks so sweet

fine guess i’ll just hit up daniel for tickets then

You’re so annoying, don’t even pretend like you’d rather go with him than me

thought you uninvited me huh?

maybe i could be persuade to come with you instead, show me why i’d have a better time with you, what can you give me that danny can’t?

You knew the exact way to work him to where you wanted him to be. Anytime you would even mention another guys name to him he would instantly become jealous and possessive over you in the hottest way possible. And you wanted to have your fun. At some point during your exchange you had subconsciously made your way to your bedroom and you were now laid on your bed.

I think you know exactly what I can give you that Danny can’t.

told you to show me, it’s been too long i need a reminder

As soon as Lando received your message he knew exactly what you were getting at, the thought of you being so needy to see him was enough to start making him hard. He discarded his joggers and boxers in a pile on the floor, stroking himself a few times making to get himself fully hard before clicking on his camera app. He quickly put the camera in video mode and hit record, stroking himself up and down, gathering his precum to help ease his strokes. Behind the camera he was letting moans fall from his lips. “Think Danny could give you this?” He give himself a squeeze as he spoke, drops of cum spilling from his tip as he did so “Think he’d know how to please you like I do? Know how to get you screaming and keep going for hours?” He was back to working his hand up and down, keeping his movements steady not wanting to go to fast in fears of finishing before you could watch and respond to the video. He stopped his recording and immediately sent it to you without even adding any additional text along with it.

As soon as you saw that Lando had sent you a video you knew that you were going to be in for a treat. You didn’t even hesitate before opening it, the image that filled your screen causing a light “fuck” to fall from your lips. Everything about the site made you grow instantly wet from his dick out on full display, showing you just how needy he was for you to join him, to the veins running prominently up his hand in arm getting more visible as he continued to stroke himself. Absentmindedly your hand wandered down your body and into the shorts you were wearing. Your fingers started to rub over your folds before you even had a chance to consider recording it and sending it back to Lando. However you wanted more from him and you knew to get it you would have to send something his way. You swiftly removed your shorts quickly bringing your fingers back to where you needed them most. You picked up your phone with your free hand quickly setting up the camera and hitting record. “Shit, Lan, you’ve got me so wet.” You let out breathily. You were rubbing your fingers through your folds covering your fingers in your juices before you slid one in. As you inserted it you leaned forward making sure to give the camera a good show. You were quick to add another finger pumping them in and out of you at the same pace Lando had been stroking himself. “Fucking listen to it.” You moved the camera closer to your centre so it would pick up the audio that your fingers were creating from pushing in and out of you. You stopped recording and sent over the video. Within minutes of him receiving the video you got a face time request.  

You picked up his cheeky grin filling the screen before he quickly turned the camera round. “Fuck babe, tell me again why I moved away from you. Wish you were here right now, not the same getting off alone.” His hand was stroking up and down his hard penis, his thumb brushing the tip to collect his precum before rubbing it over his member. Your heavy breaths were all that filled his ears, the sound encouraging him to move faster. You still had your camera facing you and from the look on your face Lando could tell you were getting closer to your climax. Your fingers were still working behind the camera. You bit your lip before bringing your fingers up to your mouth and sucking on the middle and index, making a show off it. A loud moan escaped Lando at the sight of it. “Ugh I wanna taste you babe, bet you taste so sweet.” You slowly dragged your fingers from your mouth. “You know I always do. Can’t wait to be back with you and get to suck my juices of your dick instead of my fingers.” That caused Lando’s hips to buck up at a faster pace.

You slowly trailed your fingers down your body, following along with your camera before leaning forward and propping your phone up at the end of your bed so that Lando could get a view of your entire body. You brought your hands back to where you wanted them most, slowly you slipped your fingers in making sure to give the camera a good view, bringing your other hand to rub circles on your clit. You moved your fingers in and out slowly curling them to hit your sweet spot, moans slipping past your lips and filling the room. Every time you looked to see Lando’s hand moving quickly bringing him closer to his release you got more turned on, knowing the effect you had on him even from miles away. “Gonna fuck you so good when we’re together again.” His breathy voice was broken up my moans. “Can’t wait to feel you squeezing me, gonna fill you up. Getting so close baby, gonna cum.” You were close to your release too, his low moans were now all you could hear spurring you on.

“Fuck.” You looked up and saw the white spurts releasing from his tip and falling on his lower torso and that was enough to push you over the edge. Your head fell back as you reached your own release, your fingers working you through. After you came down and regained your breath you reached for your phone. “So I guess I’ll see you next weekend then.” He said  flipping the camera so it was now on his face. You both lay discussing your plans to go visit him and before you knew it you had flights booked to be with him when he arrived on the Wednesday, both of you knowing neither would able to last till the weekend. 

[szftzy]

tags: possessive behavior, forced adoption ( definitely not kidnapping.. ), platonic themes, also tw referenced child neglect but not too bad,

(gender neutral child reader)

platonic yandere zhongli pt.2 (proshippers dni)

a continuation to this → post, and some of you requested for it so hopefully this is enjoyable :]

needless to say, you felt helpless.

the man seemed harmless at first glance, but i guess not everything is what it seems. it was difficult to breathe properly, which- said man has enveloped your head into his chest

your still In shock on how easily you were taken from your family in just one week and held captive here. all of your freedom stripped away

and even more shockingly, he treated you well. comforting you whenever you had a meltdown, or whenever you threw a tantrum. never raising his hand or his voice. but It was obvious he was just trying to do this to deceive you. are you sure?

ever since you zhongli held you captive against your will in his den, nothing was going great (obviously). it was a mix of emotions and conflict. for the first few days you had been scared to even make a single move in fear of what he would do.

and as he had been treating you well, he was making sure you ate well, comforting touches and such. it all would’ve been great! if you forgot the fact that he was holding you against your will, trapped In a den Inside the forest.

but you still miss home, your old home. do you? whenever you expressed such sayings to zhongli he would always brush it off with words that would seem comforting out pf context

but ypu decided today, to make your shot. in more context, an attempt to escape. this plan wasn't guaranteed to work but it was better than staying here

laying your head in his chest, attempting to wiggle out of his grip slowly but surely in attempts to not awake the man.

when you (surprisingly) escaped his broad grip— stumbling a bit out of the surprise, the bed creaking from the movement , carefully balancing yourself; you continued to make your way to the door.

opening the door, which makes it emit a loud creaking noise, you suddenly freezed. careful not to wake the unaware man.

(what you weren’t aware of was his possessive eyes, each time you would try to squirm out of his grip.)

carefully continuing, you closed the door quietly. and made your way to the front door, passing the kitchen and living room (lounge?? idk what to call it..) slowly but surely you got to the front door

but, behold. it was locked, Great. now where would you find a key? an idea blooming, searching for a bobby pin in the pocket of your shorts.

When you found it you immediately went to work, trying to unlock it without making too much noise, all of a sudden. it successfully opened; surprising yourself, you made sure the other in the house was still asleep by straining you ears to hear for any footsteps; none.

getting confirmation it was safe, you then made your way. shutting the door gently after you, you then ran for it. leaves crunching beneath your feet as you raced as fast as you could.

——————————

hiding in the bushes was a painful process, apparently while you were making a run for it, halfway through. zhongli woke up, and currently you were in a tight situation

steadying your breathing, curling up on yourself. your heart was pounding, you didnt know if he could hear it or not. fear blossoming in you as zhongli was near your hiding spot

The familiar sound leaves crushing, coming towards your way. suddenly it stopped. holding your breath, for a couple of seconds he just stood there. thankfully he walked away. almost crying In relief, you curled up on yourself.

and then the situation hits you. god, why did this have to happen? you just wanted your older siblings and parents back.. you didnt expect all of your joy to be taken In one singular week. as tears dripped down, you decided to wipe them and get on with it..

and when you finally lifted your head up, peeking. you found the coast clear. Thankfully. and as you stood up ready to make a run for it-

a firm hand grabbed the scuff of your shirt, and you got dragged back Into a dreadful familiar chest. as you looked up to your captors face, It was none other than zhongli. a hurt and confused expression on his face.

fear filled up your entire core. oh.. was he gonna kill you now? all the worst case scenarios flashed In your head, he was clearly upset with you. and he was definitely keeping you here just to toy with you..

you just shut your eyes and just accepted It, tears like a waterfall. and then you got embraced Into his chest, once again. he was probably just deceiving you again.

—

zhongli was worried. did they not like him? he was clearly doing something wrong, but he doesnt know what? hes just so sad for his fledgling, It was clear that their “family” back then was selfish, seeing them flinch to his every touch

but they have no worries now! he took care of them, seeing as their recent.. attempt was a clear form of discomfort, he would try his best to love them even more. his little adorable child.

he hadnt had someone to take care of In a while, since he all his children now are long grown and doing adepti work. and of course he has no problem! It was just a little lonely without a companion there to light up the house.

but hes sure his little ray of sunshine will enjoy It, he’ll make sure of It. since they won’t be leaving for a long while anyway.

he was just so sad, when he woke up this morning to find you gone. but no worries! he’d find you and take you back home, since you clearly got a little lost.

using his elemental sight, It was no work to find you, seeing your little form curled up In the forest bushes. he didn't wanna terrify you (again) so he decided to take you by surprise.

as a archon, and a dragon. zhongli has very well hearing senses, so he could hear your sniffles, and quiet sobbing. his heart clenched. He may be a ruthless god, In the eyes of others but he was still sympathetic, especially to children. who he has a soft spot for.

he pretended to walk away, but still lurking. watching for your every move. as he saw you freeze for a second, before getting up. he caught you by the scruff.

holding you to his chest, he missed you dearly, and seeing such a pure and genuine child be so upset kills him. he whispered to you soft words, promising a better life of comfort then your old one.

then he realized it upon seeing your form shake, you thought he was gonna hurt you. oh, young dear.

“Im sorry dearheart, for all this stress you went through. I didnt notice, but Its okay. your under my protection now, you wont have to worry about someone hurting you.”

and as you started loudly sobbing, the situation hitting you as you realized, that escape Is futile. and he hushed you and hugged you like a father would a crying child. and then carried you In his arms.

sobbing turned to crying, and tears died down to sniffles, and as you calmed down. which he was happy to see, you finally spoke. your voice cracked from not using your vocal chords In a while.

“please, just let me go.. I wont tell anyone about this, I just wanna go home..”

and then he paused. taking a moment to say something, you waited in anticipation. then he softly spoke out.

“Oh dearheart. This Is home. because your mine. my youngling, my sympathy.”

Mine.

that word was stuck Inside your mind, maybe.. just maybe you could have a good life. maybe you were actually basking In his warmth and comfort. you just didn't wanna admit It. that was your thought thought as you slipped away, Into a dreamless sleep within his arms.

as you guys made It to the way “home.”he noticed your limp state. completely unaware of the loving possessive look zhongli was giving you.

Mine

my child, my sympathy.

(Aight time to go get some milk again 😭🔥🙏)

[corethetrueidiot]

silver silver silver

[reactionimagesdaily]

[wiredhope]

Redraw of this https://pin.it/1nu3a2RIJ except I got lazy halfway through, first time drawing these two characters I used @tbgkaru-woh designs for the characters so hopefully I got it right ✌️🥴 ignore the bg I tried