#imho you have to be as careful of the whole

[reasonsforhope]

Crowdsourcing a question

Okay totally personal post here because, now that search engines suck, my research is failing me. So I'm crowdsourcing my question about the residential care work industry!

Hoping at least some of my followers have experience in/with the industry and some intel on this:

Actual question: How common is it for jobs in residential care work (residential centers, btw, not home care) to actually have two people on the night shift? vs. just saying they always have two people on the night shift in interviews and their official policies, and actually it's not true?

Because my current job was, it turns out, apparently totally lying about "you'll never be on shift alone with clients" at orientation (when it comes to the night shift, anyway). Which, holy fucking safety issues, Batman!

Suffice to say this was a very fun thing to find out like three days before my first regular shift

So, I'm thinking realllll hard about switching companies, and I'm trying to figure out if I could expect to actually have a coworker at a different company, or if it's like an open secret in the field that actually, basically all the night shifts end up being solo shifts, because the industry is so chronically understaffed or w/e

[rawliverandgoronspice]

nothing is funnier than seeing huge masses of gamers having One Major Complain about a game that's about to come out and repeat it over and over as THE deal-breaking thing, meanwhile you (gamedev) are like "buddy that's not even in the top 3 of things that are wrong with this game you're all gonna forget it was even a thing that bothered you by the time you actually have the controller in your hands"

[obaewankenope]

American to English translation for fic

So I read and write fanfic, as do lots of others, and I've noticed that when it comes to British shows or movies, Americanisms or American terms crop up often. It's mostly because most don't know we have specific terms for things in the UK, and I've seen references here and there before, but I've decided to write one of my own. Feel free to add to it tho! I'm gonna put it up on Ao3 too and any additions, I'll reference the tumblr and link them on Ao3 too.

AO3 link is here!!

Anyway, here we go I guess.

Some Americanisms to English-isms

Gas = fuel/petrol/diesel (we tend to specify the type of fuel the vehicle uses, diesel vehicle or petrol vehicle for example)

Gas station = petrol/fuel station

Gas court = petrol/fuel court, or sometimes forecourt (not often with this one tho)

License plate = registration plate/reg

Diner = cafe

Fast-food = takeaway (this is sort of interchangeable. McDonald's is called fast food, a meal from a pizza place that delivers is takeaway)

Motel = hotel

Side-note: We tend to use specific named hotel chains like Premier Inn (or Prem-Inn for short) or Holiday Inn or Travelodge. We also have Britannia Hotels and several others. If the fic is based in a specific place, local hotels or famous ones may be better options. For example, in Liverpool, we have The Shankly or Adelphi.

Cab = taxi or black hac for a specific type of taxi.

Side-note: These are what you see in BBC Sherlock, for example, and are a UK staple. They're less popular or common-place nowadays but there are dedicated taxi companies that use them. There's on in my town that operates until 4pm each day. They are also usually more expensive than a car taxi but they have oodles of space and you can have a pram/buggy kept upright rather than folded-down in them which is brilliant.

Cop = police officer

Side note: more informal, colloquial terms include "copper", "the fuzz", "tit-head" (because of the nipple hat okay, just look up the hat, it's hilarious), "bobby", "rozzer" (pronounced r-o-z-er not Row-zer), and "the bill" (there's an actual show called this btw. It can be a good reference for anyone writing crime fic in UK). There's more but those are the most common. Older terms do include "peelers" and "old bill".

Second side-note: the police have a whole host of terms, colloquial and slang that can be a great thing to include in fic, which I'll link a glossary of here. It's not all UK centric but cross-country policing is a thing so that may just be a boon imho. Also the short-hand acroynmns used are useful so here's a link to the Metropolitan Police glossary of those too!

Patrolman = constable or police constable

Antenna = aerial or TV aerial

Fall (season) = autumn

Bill = banknote or specifically "tenner", "fiver", "twenny" (not "twenty"). We don't have single banknotes like a dollar bill. We have pound coins

Dimes, nickels, etc = pound coin, two-pound coin, fifty-pence, penny, two-pence, five-pence, ten-pence, twenty-pence (link here about the coin currency)

Drug store = chemist or pharmacy

Optometrist = optician

Primary care physician = GP (general practitioner) here's a link about UK medical terms for doctors etc

Side-note: here's a link about medical terminologies etc between American and UK

Social security number = national insurance number

Liquor store = off-license or, specifically, Bargain Booze™

Liquor = spirits (usually)

Store = shop

Target, Walmart, etc = honestly, it's probably gonna be Tesco, ASDA, Morrisons, ALDI or Lidl

Superstore = supermarket

Shopping cart = shopping trolley or just "trolley"

Yard-sale = car-boot/car-bootie/car-boot sale

Attorney = barrister or solicitor (solicitors you go to for legal help, barristers tend to be involved in actual court matters, like a the Crown Prosecution Service), here's a link that explains it better

Janitor = caretaker

French-fries = chips (although McDonald's French-fries are just that, French-fries)

Intersection = crossroad

Highway/freeway = motorway

Interstate = usually an A-road or a motorway, we don't really have interstates here)

Overpass = flyover

Turnpike = toll motorway

Windshield = windscreen

Trunk of a car = boot or car boot

Hood of a car = bonnet or car bonnet

Truck = lorry

Sedan = saloon car

Blowout = puncture or flat tyre

Pavement = road

Sidewalk = path

Subway = underground (like the London Underground)

Drapes = curtains (though we do use "drapes" we tend to say "curtains" more)

Pacifier = dummy or "dodo" or "dodi"

Diaper = nappie or a pull-up (if its like underwear for toddlers)

Baby crib = baby cot (though we do use "crib", we tend to say "cot" more)

Baby carriage/pushchair/stroller = pram or buggy (more specific type tho, here's a link about the differences)

Trash/garbage can = bin, dustbin, rubbish bin

Garbage/trash collector = binman/binmen

Mail = post

Mailman = postman

Mailbox = postbox

The movies = cinema or pictures

Movie = film (less common nowadays with influence of Americanisms but I still use "film" and a lot of people my age and older do too (25+)

First floor = ground floor okay, it's the ground floor because it's on ground level

Sneakers = unless they're Converse, it's probably just "trainers"

Baggage = luggage

Purse (as in the bag) = handbag, or "purse" but that tends to be the thing you put your money and cards in then put in your handbag

Vacuum cleaner = hoover or a specific brand like Henry Hoover™, which you'll find we tend to just call Henry (though I have a John Lewis hoover I got from George, ASDA that I've named 'George' and yes, I do say "I need to use George in a bit to hoover" regularly)

Sweater = jumper or, if it buttons up it's a cardigan or cardi

Closet = wardrobe

Elevator = lift

Call collect = reverse charges

Schools = we have primary/infants (11yrs)and secondary/high school (11-16yo) with some high schools have sixth-form college (16-18yo) or actual independent colleges for the same ages

College = university

Semester = term

Vacation = holiday

Kindergarten = nursey/reception

Flashlight = torch

Wrench = spanner

Backyard = garden

Cookie = biscuits

Chips = crisps (like Walkers™ or Lays™ in the States)

Pants = trousers

Cottoncandy = candyfloss

Dude = bloke/fella/mate

John Doe = John Smith

Exhausted (tired) = knackered

Cell phone = mobile

Cell data = mobile data/4G/5G

Bathroom/restroom = loo/toilet (informal term "bog")

Thanks = cheers

Soccer = football

Y'all = "you lot"

Fuck off/hit the road/go away = bugger off

Some slang phrases too

Bits and bobs = stuff, usually random

Take the mick/mickey = making fun of someone or over-exaggerating

Bob's your uncle = there you go, basically

Bog standard = typical, run of the mill kind of deal

Gutted = feel upset, disappointed

Dull as dishwater = basically really, really fuckin boring

Chinwag = basically "shooting the breeze" or just having a talk/chat

.

If you have any others that you think of or want added, reblog and add em! Tags too if you'd prefer but reblogs would be easier ☺️

[signanothername]

What do u think of the trope where Blue/Swap joins the bad guy???

I have complicated feelings about it?

I love the trope in of itself, I think it would be a really interesting trope to explore

The problem tho? I never once saw it executed in a way that grabbed my attention or made me actually love the story it was used in

It immediately goes to the “asshole” Dream and Ink and “kind found family” Nightmare gang trope

Which again, if you don’t know, I hate the trope of Dream being somehow an asshole or somehow treating Swap as tho he’s less than him

Ink is a whole different story where the fandom simply villainize him just cause he’s soulless

And the kind found family Nightmare gang is a trope I love, but just like the trope of Blue joining the Nightmare gang, it’s poorly executed most of the time (and I mean, how can you call it a “Blue joins the bad guys” when the “bad guys” are shown to be good guys????)

Like, I opened so many different fics only to be hit with the same execution of this trope over and over, eventually just losing interest bxhxhdhdh

The idea of Swap not being able to “keep up” with Ink and Dream or is somehow neglecting himself to take care of Dream just doesn’t really intrigue me (or even make sense to me)

Like don’t get me me wrong, I’m an absolute sucker for the “Swap is literally the only anchor Dream has left in his life otherwise he’d fucking break down” but I dare say Swap is more than capable of handling it without it weighing him down to a significant degree

This is Swap for god’s sake, he’s literally Papyrus’ personality but in a Sans body, if anything, he’s the one who has his shit together the most and is able to go on with a genuine happy and determined smile on his face, no matter the shit that happens to him, it would make a lot more sense for Dream to be the one to try and catch up with Swap than the other way around

I get that the trope tries to show the limitations of Swap as a mortal compared to Dream and Ink who are both pretty much immortal, but what people tend to do is that they completely twist Swap to be absolutely pathetic just for this trope to work

Which *shakes the fandom* I promise you don’t have to completely change a character up to make a trope work

Like I saw stories that made Blue to be somehow a weak depressed anxious guy trying so hard and is failing and whatnot and I question myself whether that’s even Swap anymore hchcchcjvj

I think the problem I usually see when people try and write different tropes for different characters, is that they try to make the trope make sense, and so they twist the character around to fit around the trope

Which, imho, is ineffective, you should understand the character, and then think of how the character would deal with a certain situation and how that leads to the trope you’re trying to write, one step at a time without having to ignore/erase important personality traits of the character

Of course, that doesn’t mean the trope you’re trying to write can’t fundamentally change the perception, personality, or behavior of a character, but you have to show how it affects the character to such a fundamental degree, show how can the character be heavily influenced and affected in a way that makes sense for said character

For example, I’ve seen people write Swap neglecting to eat cause he’s trying to “keep up” or sometimes Dream and Ink don’t give him the chance to cause they pressure him to go on another mission or push him too hard

Here are some problems I see with this:

- why is the Nightmare gang even somehow attacking every single day? Have they got nothing better to do? Especially with the fact they’re a found family now?

- why is Dream and Ink going out for “missions” every day if the Nightmares aren’t attacking, like damn what are they even doing?? What are these “important missions”?? Since when was Ink so obsessed with “missions”?

- Swap would absolutely not let that shit stand, if anything, he’d be very vocal about it and tell Dream and Ink to sit down and eat his great delicious tacos (Swap’s voice always has power behind it, and his actions are a direct reflection of his beliefs not what others push him to do)

- Ink has a home in the doodlesphere, he wouldn’t even be around enough to push Blue, while Swap has an AU and a brother, there is pretty much no way he’d be with Dream and Ink 24/7, and if he was somehow, you think Swap Paps would let it slide? And even if we go with the idea of Swap not being part of an AU anymore, you think Swap himself would neglect himself just to please others even when it doesn’t align with his own beliefs?

And those are only few of the top of my head, I’m pretty sure if I sat down and thought about this for a few hours, I’d be able to write you a whole other set of problems

Not saying you can never write Swap neglecting to eat, you absolutely can, it’s just needs to make sense for Swap as a character, what would it take for Swap to start neglecting his health? It’s not others pressuring him or pushing him I can tell you that much

So yeah, good trope, not so good execution (for me at least)

I guess I’m way too focused on the logic of it to truly enjoy it for what it is, but then again I always love to complicate things way more than I need to

Not every trope or story has to make sense completely, but I guess seeing Swap be completely made into a pathetic mess with no actual grounds to support it beyond “he’s mortal and his friends aren’t“ just ruins it for me dhdhhdhd

[cogbreath]

i think some of you should reconsider about reclaiming the r slur. genuinely. like idk for me its the fact that theres a disconnect between the groups of ppl who would have been medically described as such when that term was in usage (referring to intellectual disability. this term was never medically used to refer to autism. or adhd. or any *developmental* disability. this is usa term usage btw. i know uk terms different. ) vs the people who are reclaiming it. maybe there is some overlap but i have yet to see much of it. i get that many disabled ppl regardless of diagnosis have been abused with this term often but...i dunno. especially because imho, i have yet to see anyone who says they reclaim this term ever use it in a way that would be something you could call "taking back" the word. or in an empowering way. really imho many cases seem like just still an insult way or negative way. even when referring to self. you know. especially considering we had a whole public campaign to discourage casual usage of that word. i guess everyone has a different opinion about who can use it but honestly i wish people were more careful and consider more about maybe why they want to reclaim it and if you do reclaim it really think about how you're using it and if its actually something you are doing for empowerment. because if you arent imho you arent doing anything new different from the negative slur context useage of it. really the opinion is that those who have the most 'right' to reclaim it is people with intellectual disability and/or borderline intellectual functioning ........ i personally agree that its for the better to probably not if you do not have that. do you understand what i mean. ..? im not trying to like attack anyone really but just saying this as food for thought , yeah?

[oriley42]

Serious question but no need to answer if you don’t want to

I see a lot of talk about Amber’s portrayal being sexist in the show, but I’m not quite sure why? To me her motives always seemed really well-defined (high pressure = “I’m only worthy when I’m successful”) so she puts on this sharky mask with a feminine facade so she is feminine enough to get a certain amount of approval but never shows how much she cares (which could be used against her but also could be used to undermine her “oh you’re too soft”). I thought the show did an excellent job of showing a mask for her

But a lot of people talk about 00s sexism and how it impacts her characterization. The sexism… Is it that she gets called a cutthroat bitch? Or how her story revolves around a man after she leaves House’s team? Is it the fridging?

Any of those could be it I guess but it just sounds like you and others are talking about something a little more fundamental to her personhood so I thought I’d ask if I’m missing anything.

Very interesting question! I think you're getting at exactly the trickiness of the issue, which is that sexism always operates systemically. It's not that any key aspect of Amber's character "is" misogynist, it's that every aspect of her character is automatically filtered through a lens of sexism.

In today's world where "bitch" has been very de-clawed, turned into a more casual and way less gendered insult that's used without cruel intention in queer slang, I think it's hard to understand just how violent the term was--and was meant to be--in the aughts. House in canon is not calling Amber a bitch in a cute, almost self-deprecating, friendly way (though I think it's valid to re-write it that way in fic to defuse the term!). He is calling her a bitch to contain and belittle and dehumanize her. We see the term mobilized this way against Cuddy in 5 to 9 as well: calling a woman a bitch was an extremely powerful rhetorical tool to turn any dangerously competent, brilliant, threateningly accomplished woman back into a harmless, debased, controllable object. So, "CB" reflects how easily the fact that Amber is the "female House" gets turned against her--it doesn't mean she's an eccentric genius like him, it means she's an evil copycat who needs to be put down. And this kind of structural logic applies to her whole characterization--it doesn't matter that House does it all more frequently and worse, if she does it, it's unacceptable because she's a woman. (There are parallels here with how racism means that when Foreman acts like House, he also gets the axe instead of the narrative bending over backwards to make what he did alright.) That's why she was fired, after all!

And her death. Woof. Classic case of killing a woman for man-pain. Everything supposedly about her death is actually about how her violent destruction can be used to fuel Wilson and House's character arcs. The narrative is occasionally conscious of this, for example, Wilson saying "none of you even liked Amber" is an almost metatextual reminder of how cruelly she was disenfranchised in every way (including the sexism of her trying to "defect" to the men's team early on, having no female friends, because unlike House who has so many people orbiting him, she is truly alone). Comparing her death to Kutner's is instructive: Kutner gets a whole episode that's about characters desperately trying to know him better. They trace their relationships towards him. Amber, on the other hand, is nearly absent from her own death. The characters trace away from her and towards the way male characters feel (Wilson's loss, House's guilt). Amber becomes just an imagined figure of House's guilt. Even her ghost is not her own. (Though I think many fans do a more feminist read and reclaim the way she haunts the narrative--but imho that would be a negotiated if not fully oppositional reading, to use Stuart Hall's decoding/encoding terms.)

One easy way to see that gendered difference is in how the show refers to these characters after death. Kutner is always "Kutner," never just "House's dead fellow" or rarely "our dead colleague." Amber is often referred to as "Wilson's dead girlfriend." Kutner is his own person, Amber rhetorically gets reduced to an object belonging to a man.

In conclusion: sexism operates structurally, which can make it hard to identify! And one of the funny effects of contemporary fandom doing so much good work to un-fridge women and give marginalized female characters richer personalities and more chances to grow is that canon's intended message of sexism gets obscured. Which, is awesome? Keep up the good work! Let's make misogyny unintelligible 🎉

[iamnmbr3]

Canon wise and as far as we know from ginny in 7th book, how does she react to breaking up with harry or even drarry?

Oooh! This is an interesting question. Because here's the thing. There's the way she reacts in front of Harry...and then the way she apparently reacts when he's not around.

So in book 6 he breaks up with her and she's basically just like '...k' and doesn't bother Harry with inconvenient things like feelings or having a different opinion from him.

Listen. It's good to have loved ones who support you. But the way in book 6 and 7 Ginny just never disagrees with Harry or argues with him or even makes him feel awkward or bad or inconvenienced and is just utterly compliant feels off. Here the thing he likes is that she just accepts his decision. Because it's easy and simple. But that feels like her putting on a front. A healthy and good relationship is more than one person just accepting what the other does. Sometimes if you love someone that means having hard conversations with them or telling them something they don't like.

Look at how often Hermione disagrees with Harry or calls him out when she thinks he's making a bad choice. Because she cares about him. And sure sometimes Harry disagrees with her or even gets annoyed with her. But he also respects her. And they work it out because they have a very deep and authentic and loving friendship where they can disagree and show their feelings to each other and argue etc. Same with Hermione and Ron or Harry and Ron.

In fact, same with Harry and Ginny in book 5 where Ginny DOES express opinions and stand up to Harry. But not in book 6 or 7. Suddenly she has a total personality change and is creepily determined to become whoever she has to in order to win Harry's affections even though it's all a lie and she has to repress everything about herself.

It's also notable in this scene that she doesn't cry. This makes things easy on Harry and lets him avoid an uncomfortable situation. But as we'll see momentarily it's not actually reflective of her emotional state. You should feel comfortable enough around someone to show them your feelings, even if it's awkward or inconvenient. And she doesn't. We get this in book 6:

And then in book 7 we get this:

So based on all these quotes we might imagine that Ginny's fine with the breakup or perhaps even unaffected. But no. Apparently away from Harry it's a whole different story. Apparently she is devastated and really struggling to cope with the whole thing.

After that book 7 scene we learn this from Ron:

We NEVER see Ginny being "really cut up" at all. But apparently Ron did. Because Ginny felt comfortable enough around her brother to express her actual feelings. But she never felt comfortable doing this with Harry. That's not a good sign for their relationship.

Hermione cries around Harry. And in book 7 Harry actually feels comfortable comforting her even though it's something that doesn't come naturally. She also feels comfortable sharing her emotions with Ron - whether bickering or here, in book 6 when she and Ron comfort each other in stark contrast to Ginny apparently holding in tears around Harry to avoid doing anything he doesn't like:

So yeah. Imho hinny is doomed. I think it's realistic that it happened but I think it was more lust than love on Harry's part and also wanting to have some normalcy during a very stressful time. And for Ginny I think it was more fangirl awe than real love.

I think after the war it's plausible that they keep meaning to get together again but somehow never do. After the battle Harry thinks he'll talk to Ginny about everything later but somehow later never comes. Meanwhile Ginny finds that when she wants to talk about what happened at Hogwarts during 7th year she's gravitating more to Neville who was beside her all along (yeah there's my ginny/neville shipper brain coming out). And I think kind of like Harry and Cho they just sort of fall apart. If they DO get back together then of course I think the breakup is worse.

Either way Harry's really worried that he'll lose the Weasleys over it. He doesn't of course, but things between him and Ginny are awkward for a while. Eventually they both end up with other people and once Ginny is in a happy relationship of her own - and realizes how much better things are than when she was with Harry - things get easier.

[breathlesswordsbloodyknees]

Narrative Doom

Introduction

I've been playing around in and exploring this space where Sauron as Halbrand was genuinely seeking redemption, trying not to manipulate events but merely nudge them.

In my view, at this point he's in survivalist bed-rotting mode post-goo-form when he meets Galadriel. (I think he's more of an opportunist than a schemer in this era. Not that he doesn't have those schemes, but I think he's pushing those bad bad urges down. I have a web of scenes that I consider in this view for some other day)

I’m building much of this piece on these previous work: (link) (link) (link)

It's led me down some interesting philosophical rabbitholes, and I'd like to share.

Now, important to note, Sauron is a Maia—not a 'human' by any means. He's an ancient spiritual being who doesn’t feel the way us teeny tiny mortals do.

But on a broader scale: Tolkien’s work, like fiction as a whole, reflects and explores the human experience, so we’re riding that train.

All this with the framework of not absolving him for anything that came before or comes after. I plan on expanding into his evil alongside Morgoth and his actions in Season 2 at a later date.

But right now, we’re just exploring this blip of a moment where I consider Sauron could be genuine in repentance.

This is more an analysis of Sauron, but I feel like it has a lot to explore for Haladriel fans. There's some critique of Galadriel's choices here, but I want to make it clear: I'm not assigning blame. More just digging into the complexities.

And, well, I don't think this ship would be as compelling if it didn't have complexities.

Spoilers:

All of TROP S1

Vague themes/lines in TROP S2, mostly from S2E1.

The Good Place spoilers for overall theme and a few season 4 lines, but nothing outright about the plot.

Trigger Warning:

Be warned, I’m going to delve into some dark themes in a very personal way. Including but not limited to abuse cycles, personal trauma, harmful behaviors, and empathy within all of that.

I won’t lie, this work was hard for me. Painful to untangle. I would encourage you to have empathy and compassion for yourself, as well as me, while you read. I tried to put warnings before I go into these themes. Please take care of yourself.

---

To start

Sauron’s narrative, at its simplest, is a cautionary tale: If you let your ambition and drive for power go too far, you turn to evil. Higher values over sinful pleasures. Pride goeth before the fall.

But on a deeper level, being solely a cautionary tale, an overarching villain, a lesson to learn, what does that mean for the complexities of Sauron in The Rings of Power?

Charlie Vickers puts so many layers and so much emotion into his character. Yet he keeps it to a lot of imperceptible movements that, I found out last night, get almost completely lost in low resolution. I can see that being a part of some of the stricter interpretations of Vickers' Sauron. But there’s a vulnerability there that touches on some deeply raw thoughts.

—

So the relentless question in fandom: Does he mean any of it with Galadriel or is he just the Great Deceiver?

I'd like to ask, how much of it is just some deeply relatable ‘human’ behavior? Deflection, defensiveness. Half-truths, twisted truths, fibs.

Because as he says on the raft, he did tell her the truth, that he had done great evil in service of Morgoth. He never lied to her.

(An aside: I personally don’t give the “my ancestor” thing much weight as a true lie, I mean it’s his backstory and he had more reason for it than the Darkling did imho)

But really, who doesn’t try to hide and smooth over the worst ugly evil nasty bits of themselves and their past? We want to shine in the eyes of others—it's a fundamental desire to most.

—

On the other side, touching on influence and ambition:

Aren’t we all trying to sway events and leave an impact in whatever way we’re capable? Don’t we all attempt to sculpt the world like clay? Isn’t that really all we can do in this world?

And don't we often tell ourselves that we’re doing it for a better outcome? Even actions deemed ‘good’ and ‘heroic’ create ripples that have negative impacts, if only just for the orc babies.

I’ve been thinking a lot about orc babies.

—

Galadriel, from their first conversation on the raft in S1E2, backs him into a corner. She’s relentless in her quest for revenge against him and he’s whoops—sitting right there, doing the side eye meme. He’s gotta be self-preservational. And that rings true to me more than outright deceit. (At this point)

But I think over the course of the season, playing as Halbrand, “Lost King of the Southlands”, he’s trying. Trying to be “the hero she seeks”. Trying in the only way he knows how, which is…well, not great, he really toes the line. But he’s trying to ‘choose good every day and choose it again tomorrow’, while he’s on the path she set him on. So it’s a step by step journey towards the light, but the path is ever slippery.

And inevitably, as we know, he fails.

—

TW

So what does that mean for those of us who feel like we’re trapped in the narrative, hurtling toward a doomed end through harmful behaviors we can’t escape? Tied onto the train tracks, staring down what feels like an inevitable fate.

When all you’ve known for ages is subjugation and torment and abuse, what do you become? (Which makes Mairon even more painful, with his origin of beauty and light. Like a whisper of I was once admirable too)

I keep coming back to the image of grooves, well worn. And well, under the influence of an abuser and beyond, I too have done evil.

Holding the good you’ve aspired to and the evil you’ve done in one space; it’s a sharp, heavy feeling like holding coals, like touching a hot pan, something to run and hide from. And looking at my deeply ingrained behaviors from childhood, along with trauma that’s happened throughout my life...I see those grooves echoing in jagged bloody ways that feel comforting, even natural.

For a long while, it’s been the only way I knew how to self-soothe, these behaviors that can cause harm to myself and others. So I’ve been twisting around the question: Can we ever truly be free of the evil we’ve done? If it’s all we’ve ever known, baked and beaten into our bone marrow?

In Sauron’s case, the answer is no. His story unfolds the way it was written. The bad guys perish, the good guys win.

(though there’s the “they meet in Valinor” after canon theory, hope ever shines through)

—

That all brings me into The Good Place and that show’s moral thesis.

Spoilers for The Good Place:

More or less, the show states “people improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don't?” and “What matters isn't if people are good or bad. What matters is if they're trying to be better today than they were yesterday.” (S4E8)

Scanlons’ What We Owe to Each Other and the rabbithole of contractualism that I haven’t fully delved into.

I resonate deeply with what The Good Place says. All with the understanding that you have to put on your own air mask before you help others, don’t set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

But I do believe we should help each other in what ways we can, rather than writing people off entirely.

So, I struggle with Galadriel’s moments of “shutting the door” being considered wholly empowering. Light prevailing, resisting the allure of darkness and the draw of power. It is indeed all those things, especially for her journey. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame her.

But there’s an itching here for me and I have to scratch it.

—

In S1E8, if we’re assuming he’s genuine, he put it all out there in the raft illusion. It was his biggest, his all, his hope. A leap of faith. Real vulnerability with an internal truth that was like holding coals.

He did what was ‘right’. He reached for support, for understanding, for community, What We Owe to Each Other.

(though we can’t ignore the scene before that where he’s wearing Finrod’s face. But I haven’t followed that thread yet).

He made a play for a better future.

And she—light and goodness and holiness in her hair, denied him.

“You are Morgoth’s friend”, “There is no such future.” Boiling him down to his worst parts, reinforcing his worst fears.

Is that all we ever can be?

---

TW

When do we write off people like Sauron, with all his history of wrongdoing? People like my abusers or even myself? When does the potential for redemption become irrevocably lost?

How much empathy should we show, and what are we obligated to offer? What do we owe to each other? All of this while carefully balancing the line of not condoning or becoming an apologist, along with taking care of yourself first.

It’s mind-boggling.

---

The answers are out there: self-compassion, self-forgiveness. Change comes from within. Balance. But it's the same way people say go outside, exercise more, drink more water to fix depression. When you're in the throes of darkness, those words feel hollow, trite. And that glossy sunlit path is more than treacherous when you walk it, especially alone.

So again, I say, I scream: Should we not still help each other?

It's not just internal and external separately, we need both. I have to believe that. Internal change and external support.

—

Conclusion

In the end, I'm really only left with more questions. This barely scratches the surface of what I've been brewing on, I could go round and round for days. I mean, that’s what I’ve been doing this week.

Regardless, all the typical takeaways feel hollow. Choose light, choose hope, every single step, no matter how hard.

It’s never quite that simple, on a very visceral level. And for some of us, like Sauron, it never materializes.

It all just eats and scratches and twists inside me. Ultimately though, I think Caitlin Seida said it best about hope and redemption and the struggle in her poem, Hope is Not A Bird, Emily, It’s a Sewer Rat. Which I greatly hope you’ll read and find what I have in it. (link)

So I guess we keep being scrabbly little sewer rats, hoping to claw our way out of the dank dark cave. And y’know, it may not mean much, but I’ll be here, down in the muck. Right there with you.

Maybe that’s all we owe to each other.

Follow-up

[sergeifyodorov]

Your post of all the first overalls to girl interrupted actively makes me feel crazy. Do you have a ranking of the most compelling first overalls?

cody's list of most compelling (active) (to me) first overalls

21. aaron ekblad (2014.) i don't care for the florida panthers

20. alexis lafreniere (2020). his strongest narrative juices are a) the bust thing (he was a covid baby, it takes time) and b) maybe him also going to rimouski like sid, if you really wanted to pull it out like that. but the two of them have little otherwise connection, so not really

19. owen power (2021) this is a list ranked by compellingness and not cutieness or who i would want to provide most with feminizing hrt against their will

18. nico hischier (2017) even some of the least compelling 1oas are still quite interesting IMHO -- nico is the highest ever drafted swiss player + a very young captain on a basement team + a CHL import. all of which *are* juicy. he just lacks... i don't know, a little extra je ne sais quoi

17. macklin celebrini (2024) invoking the power of "He Literally Just Got Here" for this one. the daddy issues are a powerful offset though

16. ryan nugent-hopkins (2011). the power of the longest-tenured member of a team is quite something. earns points for not being an upper middle class rich boy either

15. nathan mackinnon (2013). controversial to put him so low i know but in my genuine and honest opinion he's way more interesting as a Character than a Part Of The Narrative. crucial divide here. i'm about to talk about slaf's personality making him interesting narratively but they do want their good canadian boys to shut up and take it and nate doesn't rebel against that. all he wants to do is win (accomplished) and fuck sidcros (negligible)

14. juraj slafkofsky (2022) just barely edges out the nuge by virtue of a) the whole First Slovak thing (see nico) and b) his new and upcoming beef with the slovak federation??? what's all that about because THAT'S juice. THAT'S spark. slaf's great because not only are his little circumstances compelling but he's also got such a Personality to him. his little rockstar attitude. his little braces. I will show him where is Slovakia. yessss girl

13. rasmus dahlin (2018). im a dahlin attention payer so he's probably higher than he "should" be but CAPTAIN OF THE BUFFALO SABRES I AM SO SORRY.

12. erik johnson (2006) hugely fascinated by his fall from grace via golf cart, which is not a route most people take. and then of course he was a crucial emotional crux of the avs up until their 2022 run and in my belief a much more important part of their fall from grace post-run than whatever landeskog is doing. and of course any flyer is relevant by nature

11. jack hughes (2019) you cannot deny the hughes are interesting narratively because they are important. he's not as interesting or as important as quinn though so obviously not as high on the list as he might have otherwise been

10. taylor hall (2010) actually super interesting because he has, throughout his entire career, been on one (1) good team (the 2022-23 boston bruins). he has a hart trophy!!! you guys know he has a fucking hart trophy right???? while they were drafting davo et al, he was an oiler. while they were drafting nico, he was a devil, while they were drafting owen, he was a sabre, and when they drafted connor bedard he was a blackhawk. always the bridesmaid, never the bride

9. steven stamkos (2008). there's always something to be said for waiting a long time to get what you want. and then once that goal's been accomplished, they throw you out.

8. connor bedard (2023) Let's Get Generational With It

7. john tavares (2009) brief let's un-get generational with it to talk about mr magic amulet breaking TWO entire playoff round curses as captain, twice. about him choosing toronto. about Him

6. auston matthews (2016) what if you were a vain shy arizona boy who wanted nothing more than to be a star and then they gave it to you and then you immediately had to learn that it's not nearly as good as you thought it was going to be. and you were actually kind of gay the whole time (im biased. this is cody sergeifyodorov's immense toronto bias. be normal)

5. patrick kane (2007)

4. marc-andre fleury (2003) the whole saga of him in pittsburgh AND the whole saga of him in vegas AND the whole saga of him in minnesota (and the brief intermission when he was in chicago) are all massive narrative moments of their own, but to have all of them? to be a goaltender that lucky and that loved for that long? it's not done. it will never be done again.

3. connor mcdavid (2015) I Love It When The Ginger Man Suffers

2. alexander ovechkin (2004) you know i could write essays on ovi. i could write dissertations. people have already done so -- i would not be the first and will not be the last if i join their ranks. i could take about the goals and the record chase. i could talk about the way he's been juxtaposed against the guy who you really should have known going in was going to be number one for his whole career. i could talk about the hunt for 2018, and the long, long time they said he was useless, no matter the record. but i will say after me. after me, i give it to you, baby.

sidney crosby (2005). obviously

[nalyra-dreaming]

there's something I've struggled to understand even after rewatching multiple times. After Louis turns Madeleine, he opens his wrist back up, gags himself, tries to throw the blood back up. Why? Is he trying to disconnect from her? Is he trying to prove that his attachment to Lestat was just maker/fledgling more so than love? What does he mean he did not care when He didnt feel like he was losing Claudia? And what was Armand right about?

So, for one, yes, he does not want the connection to Madeleine. He does not want to feel her. The cafe scene makes that very clear, imho. He is probably very relieved when she and Claudia move a ways away, because he just does not want to have this connection - to anyone... else.

Because, what he does not know at that point yet, but does feel already, is his connection to Lestat, because Lestat is already in Paris. Or at least close. And so he feels his connection to Lestat already once more. And he maybe thinks he is going mad, maybe he thinks it has to do with the act of transformation.

He is trying to get her blood out of his veins, sever the connection there because he realizes that his connection to Lestat... the feeling of the connection to Lestat was NOT "just" maker/fledgling.

That is the whole crux of the matter. It was not just the connection. Not just the cord. Because then Claudia and Lestat would have shared that as well. And he feels Madeleine, and knows they feel it as well, even though they are not maker and fledgling.

And Louis' statements there reflect that. He says:

"They're out of town. And I know that because I can feel her. Madeleine. This stranger. My fledgling. (What happened here?) Opened my wrist back up. Gagged myself, tried to throw the blood back up. I thought I'd feel like I was losing Claudia. I did not care. I finished the job. Claudia took my hand. We said something about being even. I did not care. You were right."

The "you were right" pertains to what Armand told Louis in Montmartre, namely that "he shouldn't do it".

Louis thought he would feel loss when he let Claudia go, but instead he felt Madeleine, this stranger, someone he did not want to be connected with.

And so he tried to sever the connection, disillusioned, frustrated, longing, and allthewhile already feeling Lestat again, in all likelihood.

And it made Louis feel very bitter, very... jaded.

[majaloveschris]

For CE, they couldn’t accept AB and that’s why the whole racism and problematic friends came into play so quickly after they went public. IMHo, the fandom needed a reason to dislike her even though she is easily able to be disliked even without her dumb friends tweets. She has no talent, no charisma, seemingly no work ethic, and is an obvious clout chaser with a very bizarre Lolita obsession and a weird obsession with older men.//

Maja I know you try to cultivate a space where everyone feels safe to express their opinion but this is absolutely insane. The implication here by saying “the racism came into play because the fandom needed a reason to dislike her” is that no one actually cares about her documented history of racist and white supremacist behavior. That the fandom only uses it as an excuse to hate because if they weren’t looking to hate her it would have been such a non issue. Yall are so nasty. I’ve been here since end of 2021, and I never really liked him until the pandemic. People didn’t know about any of that until November/December after the pap walk because the fandom didn’t actually go digging until then. The bread crumbling and everything leading up to SMA was a back and forth with the fandom bc he acted single the entire time! And THEN She posted a naked video of herself on Instagram to deflect. And the fandom is just making shit up to hate???? This is a slap in the face to every WOC in this fandom or was in this fandom.

Also to their point about “if she was his age posting Lolita shit would it still be a problem???” YES. ARE YOU INSANE. Having such a public platform catering to an age regressor kink for men is BAD. No matter how you try to spin it. Now we know it was because she was literally catering to clients who pay for her exclusive content (thanks chaturbate copyright!!!) but it literally doesn’t matter how old you are. Using the Lolita/leon/coquette aesthetic to sell sex is always objectively BAD.

This is exactly why I wanted to answer that ask, to let that person know that what they think is not true. Most people don't like her because of her personality and her behavior; that's it, and that's the truth. As I said before, I'm not saying that even if she was the sweetest and kindest human being who was around Chris's age, there wouldn't be people who hated her just because, but I also don't like when people downplay the things they've said and done and say the fans made it up or overreacted it. 

The reason why I didn't mention the whole timeline thing you did is because at the very beginning, most people didn't think it was real, and they were already mad at them for trolling a lot. And not so long after the pap walk, people found those things, so everything kind of merged together at the time. But I do agree that the main reason most people don't like her is because of her personality and because of her friends, and it's really sad people downplay the seriousness of it. 

She can do whatever with her body, but she shouldn't act like this innocent little girl. If you want to sell your videos online, do it; who cares? But then please, own it. And I hate this whole Lolita shit. It is so toxic and disgusting. 

[hazelcephalopod]

I just can’t get over it. Ludinus has had centuries to make his horrible plan. Horrible not just because I think the goal is horrible. I think the plan in of itself is bad in quality.

“Trust this being so powerful even the gods fear it because the gods have too much power over us. It warps everything it touches, gives a limited few the ability to control the minds of others directly btw and eats gods -totally unclear if it eats other entities. It may be able to control those it grants abilities to btw. Don’t worry about it. We have no plans for the consequences, or any fallout seemingly…” - that Ludinus is willing to share.

Just decide for the whole of Exandria to throw it into disastrous chaos bc… ole’Ludi wants to. The gods might make or not let him do something!!! I mean they haven’t done anything to him so far (that he’s willing to share), and and put up a big fence to prevent any god -Prime or Betrayer- from being able to interfere so directly -and this seems to have come up with an increased policy of hands off dealing with Exandrians and letting them figure out their own problems.

I don’t even mind Ludinus sharing the orb. Though I worry he might edit it to suit his narrative. Sure. Many already know, the gods destroyed Aeor when Aeor threatened them with annihilation (edit: I misremembere, most poeple do not know why Aeor was destroyed there was some rumor it had to do with them developing a threat or just being too hubristic). Imho while it is disappointing the Primes care more for their survival and their siblings than mortals -tho tbh I think it could be more complicated but let’s run with that- it doesn’t negate they can still care about mortals. Tho I must be honest. I think it’s also a good show of the consequences for going after the gods. Not even as a “you better not” but “this is what the gods are capable of; this is what you go up against when you stand against them. Are you prepared for that? Are you willing to make the sacrifices, the many of them, to do that?”

and tbh. It’s like going. “Our rulers suck. Let’s unleash a dragon, Bc it will want their gold. We have barely any gold or shinies so it will totally ignore us. Don’t worry the dragon assured me it won’t eat us. Don’t worry about those dragonoid people around it they are his friends and don’t worry that they accidentally breath fire and burn fields and stuff. It will be fine.”

[rey-jake-therapist]

I want to start off by saying I love your page and I’m dying to know your thoughts on this. It’s a little long so bear with me please. :)

We know that at this point in TROP the door between Galadriel and Sauron’s mind is still open. That her saying “The door is shut” could’ve been for dramatic effect with that kick.

But it got me thinking, why didn’t Sauron block that kick then? He’s demonstrated before how easily he was able to counter her attacks with minimal effort. So why was it different this time? Then she was able to slice his cheek and it clicked for me.

When looking back on their whole fight, I don’t think Galadriel really had a plan. She knows she can’t kill him, disarming him won’t be enough, and trying to distract him from the rings would be ridiculous because she has them! I think she is just so pissed that she doesn’t care about anything else and only wants to show him the anger she has towards herself and at him for even having been in her life.

When they have that brief moment before continuing the fight, it felt to me that Galadriel arrived to a new found realization after hearing his next words.

“I know your mind. The door is still open,” He said to her.

I believe she was reminded of her own words from before,

“He knows my mind….And I know his. Which is why I must face him. Why I alone can slay him”

Therefore when she declares “The door is shut.” I believe it is actually in reference to something that we wouldn’t initially think of.

In truth I believe she shut the door that had allowed him to enter her heart and locked it up tight so he could never see her deepest hopes and desires again. Effectively blocking him from her vulnerability, not her conscious mind.

(Then we get to the moment where she kicks him in the face which was so satisfying tbh. I’m hoping that in season 3 that we will be given a clearer understanding of this ‘Mind Palace’ that they share.)

That statement marks a definitive shift in their fight. She’s much more precise and has a purpose for each attack. I believe this might be why Sauron didn’t block that kick to the face, he not only didn’t expect her to do that, he wasn’t even able to anticipate her attacks now because he was still “play” fighting. When she slices his cheek that’s when he stops playing around and we see how quickly he “ended” their fight.

I think this theory is further supported by the fact that we literally saw how Sauron was telepathically talking to her (was literally in her mind!) and still didn’t see a thought or intention to fall off the cliff cross her mind.

He no longer has access to her vulnerability and heart, because she closed that chapter on their story from before to allow a new one to begin. One where she is the Lady of Light, he the Dark Lord and how they will always be connected.

Thank you so much for your nice words !

I think it's a great analysis of the fight scene. I think I realized that before but had never put it into words before, even in my mind, but you're probably right about the meaning that Galadrel gave to these words ! I think the fandom at large takes this claim "the door is shut" way too seriously, because it was said in the heat of the moment, when she was angry and determined to cut him off her life (and indeed, her heart) for good. She had no idea what would happen next. Sauron hadn't stabbed her with Morgoth's crown and gained a direct line to her mind yet. He had never telepathically talked to her or anyone else before, so there has to be a connection imho.

I may have a slight disagreement about your conclusion regarding Galadriel's fall, though. I'm actually very much convinced that Galadriel didn't pretend that she was going to give Sauron Nenya, precisely because since he had access to her mind, she shouldn't have been able to do that. I think he really had a hold on her for a few minutes, thanks to the bond he had just created.

And it's exactly why, imho, he didn't anticipate what she would do : because he was sure that the connection worked, and that he had her. It's not the first time that Sauron was too sure of himself, and it won't be the last. She very suddenly found the will in her to snap out of it, and there was not enough time between the moment he realized what was happening, and the moment Galadriel let her fall off the cliff, for him to react fast enough to grab her hand.

She managed to catch him by surprise because he was, indeed, not expecting it all. I think it could also be related to the probable fact that the notion of "self-sacrifice" is completely alien to Sauron : he would never do that, so he can't fathom the idea that anyone would. Basically, his lack of empathy could be what caused him to lose control of the situation, and to let her fall.

[buckevantommy]

100% serious, swear to god, asking this in good faith —

not that i disagree with how fucking stupid it was for tommy to have been abby’s tommy ~all along~, because i was a staunch opponent of that theory until i was watching it unfold in real time on my goddamn television, but: like, obviously, we don’t need the whole himbo conversation, but i personally feel like buck wouldn’t go full-on speechifying and talking about how ~brave~ tommy is unless he got that speech from josh earlier.

(side note: did buck need to hear what josh was saying? absolutely. does it make any sense to say that glee is what changed the fucking world??? no.)

and i … idk. i feel like he doesn’t get to that point where he’s at dispatch and spiraling at maddie unless he just found out that tommy used to be engaged to a woman and ended up breaking it off. (tbh there’s no reason it needed to be abby! considering who tommy used to be, i don’t at all find it hard to believe that he would’ve tried to “make it work” with a woman before he finally came to terms with who he actually was, instead of who he wanted himself to be.)

i swear i started this with a question. it feels like it’s disappeared. i think what i was going for was, more or less: if we’d gotten different tommy lore, like you said — an ex-boyfriend or an ex-fiancé — how do you think the episode would’ve played out? like, does that still wind up with them breaking up?

(feel free to ignore, if you want to, i just — god, there really are so many problems with that episode, aren’t there?)

Omg i don't understand why they hyped that Glee speech fr?? I lived through that era as a queer teen and the show didn't change the world for queer folks like they think it did imho - not to stir up shit about stereotypes but it was more geared towards musical lovers as well as a generation of people who were like 10-20 years younger than Tommy. It also felt more poignant for Josh to say (for himself) than it was relevant to Buck's issues.

We should've gotten Buck talking to Hen (and Karen) because they're also queer and they know both Buck and Tommy and it's the conversation we were hoping for/that would've made sense.

I understand the need for a catalyst in how they wrote the conflict and the breakup, but I think Buck would've freaked out about a broken off engagement between Tommy and a man just as much as with a woman, as well as the Kinsey stuff (not that I really believe his cluelessness btw given his tendency for research binges and excitement for learning and knowledge i think he would've been trying to find out as much as he could which could have been an interesting point of tension between them if Tommy didn't really know as much or care to) and the fact he hadn't explored his own identity instead just enjoying his relationship with Tommy.

We should have gotten Tommy talking about a serious male ex because he's gay and deserves to have his identity acknowledged through past gay relationships, instead of the fucking terribly campy throwaway line of him complimenting Abby's hair, like wtf was that?? Also: no fucking way they didn't talk about past relationships before that point, no way oversharer Buck didn't tell Tommy about his first love.

The show committed to the breakup and I'm okay with that because 1) Tommy's reasoning gives us more insight into his character that is feeding the fic and meta writers, and 2) it gives Buck the opportunity to date other guys (and women) for a time and compare his experiences to his emotional connection with Tommy ie. Love, and then it allows for them to get back together stronger down the line (my preference is they become friends first and feelings inevitably come to a head).

I can handle temporary pain but i cannot abide terrible writing. Abby's Tommy is actually Thomas Flores and was some guy she met at a grocery store or bar and owns his own business and has brown eyes and short straight hair and drives a tesla.

[ennn]

The kiss did kill Agatha but it was because she made it happen. "That's cute, but you know that [absorbing Rio's powers] would kill me" they had that line for a reason and having the line again on the previously on was to remind the audience of that. So a normal agathario kiss wouldn't cause death, but Agatha actually absorbing Rio's powers while kissing definitely would.

That being said, I agree with all the things you highlighted that you liked. May I ask which things you would've done different or didn't love as much, maybe?

Also, from the most neutral point of view, do you think Agatha still loves Rio? Did she ever?

I agree with that read! Note: this also means Rio would have needed to let her magic go into Agatha. Agatha can only take when blasted with magic, not by touching people, so Rio was aware she was killing her but it was Agatha's choice to take it on the mouth

Ooh good questions, time to play editor / script doctor for a bit. This is probably going to be long... and can be negative so I'm keeping it under a cut.

Things I did not love / would have done differently — not comprehensive — just off the top of my head:

For the love of god use a different ghost SFX. I hate the current one with the fire of 10,000 suns. It makes it hard to see the actor's performance, their outfit, and it messes with their body language as well. Outside the fantastical reality of the Road, it's too distracting.

Burn that white-grey wig for ghost!Agatha. Between this and the SFX I was struggling to focus on the scenes and their pathos. I think Episode 5 wasn't so bad because Evanora didn't really do much except float around in a smock and say some mean lines but Agatha's moving around, talking a lot, and trying to land some emotional beats.

The whole showdown in the garden feels weird to me, and I think you can tell that they only Aubrey Plaza for a limited time: she barely seems to be in the same frame except for the kiss? I suspect that's why we have shots focused on Billy hitting the greenhouse, Death on the house, and a very very short magical fight. You also don't get proper reactions from Rio on what could have been a couple of revealing beats like when Agatha initially offers Billy up and walks away.

The big one: I'm not convinced Agatha had a proper arc here. If it was planned I don't think it landed for me. You get a hint of Agatha making some peace with how death just happens at the end of the earth trial: "Sometimes boys die" – beautiful moment -– but it doesn't seem to follow through? Yes, she ultimately makes a choice that allows Rio to continue pursuing her (because Rio would have kept her word if Agatha handed Billy over). But coming to terms with her grief and Nicky's death? Has she forgiven Rio? Has she forgiven herself? It feels unresolved to me imho.

Agatha being protective of Billy is... some development I guess but she was already instinctively protective of him in like Episode 3, and by then she already knew he wasn't Nicky. I needed more growth from Agatha, I think?

I'm not sure about the whole mental messaging power of Billy's. Is it supposed to imply he's also reading Agatha's mind? Did he not say it out loud because then we'd have to get a reaction from Rio and Plaza isn't available?

Cast a younger kid for Nicky lol. I know there are production limitations but to me that kid looks too old for a 6-7 year old. Is it just me? I don't usually hang out with kids.

Streamline the flashbacks with Agatha and Nicky. We get it: she loves him, it's their song, he's not a fan of the murdering, he dies. I'd fit in a scene (it can be a short one) to underline how Rio did care about Nicky (she visits him?) and show Agatha having conflicting feelings about loving but fearing Death.

In an ideal world, not have Billy in his superhero outfit because that should have had some build-up for a reveal. I know it's Marvel and they need to sell merch and stuff but there really was enough stuff going on and how the hell did Billy get that suit anyway? The crown I can overlook but the rest is weird to me. --

For your last question about Agatha loving Rio I'll tackle it in another Anon Ask coming up that's similar!

[sitp-recs]

hi! how are you?

so I read a fic some time ago that destroyed me…… like literally. I enjoyed it but at the same time I didn’t. but now I can’t stop thinking about it bc everything on it was so revolting and fucked. how to make a fic get out of our system? is it possible 😅 not to be dramatic but this fic almost made me lose interest in the whole ship lmao I just wanted to read something I enjoy again, you know? and nothing hits :( and when it does I’m almost finishing the fic and something horrible happens (that wasn’t really tagged) and I endure it until the end 💀 anyway if you have any fic that you read recently that is very romantic and monogamous or even if they are exes but they don’t date anyone else because they just can’t move on, pls share with us!! and it doesn’t have to be drarry, it can be anything. Im going through your lists and whole blog tbh looking for something that will save me lmaoooo I’ve read almost everything that interests me and you recced. (btw your break up make up list is amazing!) still I think the spark left me 🫠 ugh sorry for yapping

I’m sorry to hear that, anon :,( I think we’ve all been there at some point, god knows how many times I felt blocked, uninspired or just unable to connect to any fic. Personally, I find it helpful to take short breaks from fandom and focus on other hobbies for a while. Those fics will always be there when and if you’re ready to return! Also, imho you shouldn’t have to “endure” any fics that you find upsetting. I don’t typically have any triggers but I certainly have tropes/topics that don’t interest me much (or at all), and I have no qualms abandoning a fic when they show up unannounced 🤣

Now, it’s a bit hard to rec something randomly without knowing more about your fic tastes, but since you’re interested in romantic/monogamous stories, I thought I’d share some recs along those lines. This is a personal selection that might not work for you, but if it does I’ll be pleased to know that you’ve found that spark again :) Take care xo

Short fic:

Take the Moon by tackytiger (M, 15k)

Harry Potter has always wanted a family of his own, and when a deadly blood curse forces him into a marriage bond with his best friend Draco Malfoy, it looks like he might just have found one. It's just a shame they’d always planned to break up after a year…

Two Zinnias and the Scent of Lemon by @the-starryknight (M, 16k)

The Ministry didn’t turn bad overnight. Harry didn’t suddenly turn rogue either. Between covert Legilimency links and Polyjuice disguises and running and running and running, Draco has forgotten what it is like to have a safe harbor that isn’t a person. If there’s an art to fighting back, then they’ll find it hand in hand.

Us, in Lieu by Tepre (E, 29k)

Teddy needs help and Harry needs funding. Draco sits in the other room and plays the piano.

Long fic:

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them by nerakrose, dustmouth (T, 96k)

Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry.

Who we are in the shadows by Quicksilvermaid (E, 100k)

What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life.

Far From The Tree by aideomai (E, 112k)

The arrival of Harry Potter’s children—snapped back in time, the children themselves guessed, twenty or so years—was the most interesting thing to happen at Hogwarts for years.