#imagine me as that meme yelling 'IT'S ALL CONNECTED'

[candycandy00]

Little Miss Nobody Part 3 - A Gojo x Reader Fanfic

You’re a weak, lowly sorcerer who barely qualifies as an assistant, but you get the opportunity to work on a mission that includes THE Gojo Satoru. Unbeknownst to you, he finds you incredibly attractive despite privately looking down on you as a nobody. On the last night of the mission, he invites you to his hotel room. 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Any feedback or comments whatsoever is greatly appreciated! Thank you to @doumadono for the name Mystigram!

Smut. 18+. Gojo x short/thick/curvy fem Reader. Rough sex, oral sex (69), implied bondage/use of toys, mention of Gojo being bisexual. Just pretend the Shibuya Incident never happened!

You allowed yourself to grieve for one week. You took time off from work and spent those days crying, yelling at no one about how much of an asshole Gojo was, and eating ice cream from the carton to numb your pain. Once the week was over, you cleaned up, went back to work, and returned to your normal daily life. 

It still hurt to think about him, and despite your best efforts not to, you did still have the occasional intrusive thought. Sometimes you wondered if he regretted anything he said to you, or if he simply regretted ever meeting you. Sometimes you wondered what kind of mission he might be on and who was in his hotel room with him. Sometimes you dreamed about him, dreamed of his hands gripping your hips, his cock rough and powerful between your thighs. 

In a weak moment you decided to check his page on Mystigram. A few particularly tech savvy sorcerers had made a social media site just for Jujutsu sorcerers. It began as a way for sorcerers to stay connected to their coworkers and share information, but it had grown to be something used for networking, planning social outings, and getting to know sorcerers from different branches.  

You’d looked at Gojo’s page before of course, back before you met him, when you were just a curious fan. He mostly shared memes about Jujutsu society, pictures from the places he’d traveled for work, and photos of the various treats and desserts he discovered at different restaurants and shops. There were occasional selfies, almost always with his sunglasses rather than his blindfold, and a few photos of him with friends. He often had his arms casually thrown around Ieiri Shoko and Nanami Kento, with both of them generally looking annoyed. 

You scrolled through his page, feeling desperate and pathetic as you searched for any sign that he felt anything at all about what happened between you. Even him sharing a vague, sort of sad quote or meme would have satisfied you. There was a four day period immediately following your last encounter where he didn’t post anything at all, but he could have simply been busy with work. 

One of his most recent posts was a selfie of him pulling down his shades and looking at the camera with gorgeous, bedroom eyes. It was the first one you’d seen with his eyes clearly visible, and it made you ache in more ways than one. The caption read, “The real reason I keep my eyes covered is to keep the whole world from instantly falling in love with me!” What a Gojo thing to say. 

His students had responded with laughing emojis (and in a couple of cases, barfing emojis). Ieiri Shoko commented with only a gif of a woman dramatically rolling her eyes. Nanami Kento commented with one word: “Disgusting.” You found the interactions charming, but also felt sad when you realized you’d never be a part of that group, a part of Gojo’s life. You’d never be able to casually talk and joke with him like the others did. 

Just once, during a night when you couldn’t sleep, you actually wondered if you should have just let him keep using you for sex. You thought about the “weekend of debauchery” he’d mentioned and imagined what it would have been like. Did he really want to tie you up in his basement? And why did the thought of that make you wet? 

You finally fell asleep right after thinking these things, and had a nightmare in which he kept telling you how unworthy you were to be his girlfriend, as he walked off with a glamorous, powerful woman on his arm. 

When you awoke, you had renewed resolve that you made the right decision to walk away from him.

Nearly a month after your second time sleeping with him, you crossed paths with him on the street. He was wearing his blindfold, but he pulled it down as he stopped in front of you and asked how you were doing. 

You wished he hadn’t. You didn’t want to see his eyes. You gave a vague, cordial reply and continued walking down the street, taking deep and steady breaths to keep yourself from bursting into tears until you could get far enough down the street to dart into a cafe. You bought a coffee just for an excuse to be there, but left it untouched on the counter and instead rushed into the restroom to cry in private. 

Seeing him hurt. Hearing his voice hurt. The fact that he didn’t seem bothered at all, that he had absolutely no hesitation in speaking to you, as if you were just friendly acquaintances, hurt. Deeply. But you pulled yourself together, dried your eyes, and walked out of the cafe with your head up. 

It would take time to fully heal, as all wounds to the heart did. 

Three weeks later, you met a grade one sorcerer on a mission who asked you to have dinner with him sometime. His name was Haruto, and he was kind to you. Handsome in a completely different way than Gojo, he was respected and liked among the assistants for his down to earth attitude. You accepted the dinner invite, and soon after, the two of you began dating. 

You liked him, but so far you hadn’t fallen in love with him. You kept waiting to feel that burning passion you felt for Gojo, that ache to be in his arms, but it hadn’t happened yet. Still, a slow burn romance might be a better fit for you, and you enjoyed Haruto’s company enough to date him a while longer and decide how you felt. It was clear that he wanted to be intimate with you, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do that yet, not so soon after your experience with Gojo. But Haruto was patient, never pressuring you. 

As time passed by and the season changed from autumn to winter, you thought less and less about Gojo.

****************

Gojo wasn’t dealing with the fallout from his last hookup with Little Miss Nobody very well. He’d went through several different reactions, from anger at her for saying the things she said to guilt for saying the things he said to her. At first he tried to convince himself that he’d done nothing wrong. He’d been honest with her about the sort of relationship they could have. His only mistake was in telling her that after fucking her again. 

Just like before, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Despite being busier than ever with missions and his teaching job, his mind kept wandering to her. He worried she would do something reckless on a mission. She wasn’t a fighter, but she clearly wouldn’t hesitate to endanger herself to save someone. He admired the courage that took, but he found himself wishing she would just be a coward from now on. She didn’t have the strength to back up that desire to protect. 

Sometimes he laid awake at night, jacking off while remembering their encounters. It was almost too easy to get off, picturing her with her hands tied behind her back, her face pressed into the pillows. Every time he wore his blindfold, he remembered how it had looked around her wrists. 

Then, he saw her on the street one day. He spotted her from across the road, but she hadn’t noticed him yet. She looked like every wet dream he’d ever had, jeans tight over her perfect ass, a form-fitting sweater with a cutout right over her ample cleavage. She looked soft and squeezable. Pliable. His first thought was that he wanted to pull her into his arms and just hold her. His second was that he wanted to hear her voice. 

He crossed the road and approached her, trying to act as casual as possible. When she looked at him, there was an instant where she looked stunned, but she quickly covered that up with a pleasant smile. He pulled his blindfold down and said, “Hey, how’ve you been?”

It was petty of him, he knew, but he knew she liked his eyes. He wanted her to see them again, perhaps to make her want him again. There were plenty of hotels in the area and-

“I’ve been good,” she said, her face frozen in that same mild expression. “Thank you for asking.”  

And then she was gone, walking away quickly and then going into a cafe down the street. He thought briefly of following her, trying to talk to her again, but abandoned the idea. She clearly didn’t want to talk to him, and he wouldn’t press her into a situation that upset her. 

He’d left feeling frustrated, in several different ways. Finally, he grew desperate enough to talk to his friend about what was going on. But when he’d gone to Shoko for advice, she had been blunt with him as usual. 

“Are you a fucking moron?”

He gaped at her. “Huh?!”

Shoko took a drag of her cigarette and regarded him with a withering stare. “You find a girl who’s sweet, brave, laughs at your shitty jokes, who fucking bakes, and likes it rough? And you manage to screw it up? You’re hopeless.”

Gojo was sitting on a bench in the outdoor area of the high school, near some vending machines. He leaned back, slapping his forehead as Shoko stood beside him. “I don’t know where I screwed up,” he said, “I just told her the truth.”

“You told her she wasn’t good enough for you immediately after fucking her. Do you think anyone wants to hear that?”

He glanced up at his friend. “I didn’t say that to her.”

Shoko met his eyes. “Did you deny it?”

He sat there silently for a moment, thinking. “I didn’t know how to respond to that,” he finally said. “I don’t think she’s not good enough for me. If anything, she’s way too good.”

“Then what’s the issue?”

“It’s not about her as a person, or even me as a person. Maybe I’m being a narcissistic asshole. But I feel like I should be with someone closer to my level in terms of status, you know?”

She shook her head. “No, I don’t know.”

Gojo sighed. “I just… can’t imagine myself with an assistant who can barely use cursed energy. She’s weak. She’s not from a sorcerer family…”

“Geto wasn’t from a sorcerer family,” Shoko pointed out. “That didn’t seem to bother you.”

Gojo looked at her suddenly. Shoko rarely mentioned their departed friend. “Suguru was strong. At one point as strong as me,” he replied. 

“So?” Shoko asked. “A lot of people would call me weak. I sure as hell can’t fight.”

He stared at her, realizing she was making excellent points. Why did it matter what someone’s status was? He never cared about status when it came to picking friends, so why care now? Maybe he had to face the fact that he’d gotten too full of himself over the years. He’d started looking down on those who were weak within Jujutsu society, even if he felt no ill will toward them. 

He looked at Shoko, who was a precious friend, and couldn’t imagine looking down on her, even though she was exponentially weaker than him. Then he remembered Little Miss Nobody’s crying face, and he realized how monumentally stupid he’d been. 

“I seriously fucked up, didn’t I?”

Shoko exhaled, smoke drifting around her face. “Sure did.”

He leaned forward on the bench, resting his hands on his thighs. “Any ideas on how to fix this?”

“For starters, you better be damn sure of what you want,” she told him. “I’m serious, Gojo. Don’t toy with her again. Don’t contact her, don’t stir up her feelings, and for God’s sake don’t fuck her unless you’re sure you want to start something serious with her.”

Gojo nodded. “I’m sure.” He’d never felt more certain of anything. He saw her face everywhere he looked. He heard her voice in his dreams. He hadn’t even been able to fuck anyone else since her. He’d tried once and couldn’t finish, and boy was that embarrassing. 

“Then call her,” Shoko said. “Apologize, tell her you were wrong.”

“I don’t have her number,” Gojo said, remembering with a small degree of shame how she’d shyly offered it to him after their first time together and how he’d rejected it. 

“We can probably find it,” Shoko told him, digging into the pocket of her white coat for her cell phone. “I have a couple of friends who work at her branch.”

Gojo perked up, listening as Shoko called someone and made a bit of small talk before asking if they knew Little Miss Nobody. Shoko gave him a thumbs up, and asked the person to text the number over. Then he heard Shoko say, “Oh, she is? Right now?”

After the call ended, Shoko said, “They’re sending the number over but they said she’s in Tokyo right now. She’s supposedly meeting some friends for drinks at that bar for sorcerers in Ikebukuro.”

Gojo stood up. This was the perfect opportunity. He could talk to her in person, apologize properly and see if this could be fixed. He knew exactly where the bar was, having gone there to hang out with Shoko and Utahime just one week prior. He thanked Shoko for her help and hurried over to the bar. 

It wasn’t very crowded yet when Gojo arrived. It was late afternoon, and customers wouldn’t start pouring in until at least seven. He scanned the room for her when he first walked in, and quickly spotted her sitting amongst several other sorcerers in a corner booth. She was smiling, and he was glad to see her happy. 

He took a seat at the bar and ordered a soda, then tried to keep from attracting any attention. It didn’t happen all the time, but occasionally people recognized him and acted like they’d seen a celebrity. He supposed he was the closest thing Jujutsu society had to a celebrity, and while he usually found it flattering to be approached in that way, today he hoped no one noticed him. He planned to wait for her to go to the rest room or even to the bar. He didn’t want to approach her when she was surrounded by people. 

So he sat, and waited, and watched. After several minutes, he noticed that the man sitting to her right was a little too handsy with her. The man kept touching her arm and subtly leaning closer to her. Gojo didn’t like that, but she didn’t seem to mind. She was a little naive about things like that, so maybe she didn’t even notice. 

But the more he watched and listened, the more a knot tied itself together in his stomach. She was also leaning toward the man, giggling at something he said, playfully slapping his arm. Then, the man threw his arm around her, and she smiled, doing nothing to push it away. 

The realization hit Gojo like a punch to the face. She was with this man, romantically. Gojo was too late. He’d spent too much time being an egotistical jackass, and now she’d moved on. He couldn’t blame her. She had the right to pursue happiness with someone else. But where did that leave him? He sighed and lowered his head. For the first time in his life he considered trying to get drunk. 

He heard chattering from her table and glanced over. Little Miss Nobody, as well as the rest of the women in the group, were leaving together. Something about going to see a movie together. Gojo moved to the other side of the bar before they got near, making sure not to be seen. He watched her walk out, and it felt like she was stomping on his heart with each step she took. 

The thought occurred to him that he could potentially take her away from the man. If Gojo talked to her, maybe she’d decide she liked him more. But should he do that? She seemed happy. What right did he have to burst back into her life and possibly screw it up?

While he sat there, deep in thought, he almost didn’t notice the man she’d been with coming to sit at the bar, just a few seats down. But he did notice, and he couldn’t help paying attention to him. 

The man’s friend, the only other man who’d been at the table, sat down next to him. 

“Any luck yet?” the friend asked. 

The man shook his head and took a drink from his glass. “Nope. She’s still holding out. I think she’s hung up on some ex boyfriend or something, but she won’t say it.”

Gojo’s ears felt like they were on fire. His full attention was now on this conversation, but he sipped his Coke and pretended not to be listening. 

The friend laughed. “Sucks to be you, dude. You score a hot girlfriend and can’t even fuck her.”

The man laughed too. “I’ll wear her down. She’ll be sucking my dick soon enough.”

Gojo’s hand gripped the glass so hard, he had to force himself to calm down to avoid shattering it. 

Then the friend said something else, and Gojo felt his skin prickling with rage. 

“Don’t forget to record it when you finally get her naked. You promised you’d show off the goods.”

The man nodded. “Don’t worry, I’ve got cameras hid around my bedroom already. She doesn’t have a clue.”

“Good,” the friend replied, “cause I’ve been dying to see those tits for months.”

They both laughed, and Gojo stood up from his seat. He walked the few steps over to the two men and stood looming over them. He was wearing sunglasses instead of his blindfold, but he was still recognizable to most people who noticed him. The man she’d been with gaped up at him. “Gojo?”

Gojo grinned widely. “I couldn’t help but overhear you guys,” he said in a friendly tone. “Can you share those recordings with me when you make them?”

The men glanced at each other, looking like students who’d been caught smoking by a teacher who then asked for a cigarette. 

“You… want me to send you recordings? Of my girlfriend?”

Gojo’s grin was probably becoming more frightening as the moments passed. “Well you’re sharing them with your buddy, right? What’s one more?”

The man shrugged, still looking a little uneasy. “Sure, why not? Give me your number.”

Gojo kept staring at him. “So she has no idea you plan to do this?”

The man must have mistaken Gojo’s slightly unhinged expression for perversion. He laughed and said, “She’s clueless. Totally naive. Wait till you see her! Huge tits, fat ass, cute face. She’d be a perfect porn star.”

The friend chuckled and added, “Hell, I guess she will be after this. We could make a fortune selling the videos!”

That was enough. That was all Gojo could bear to listen to. He’d let the guy dig a big enough hole for himself. “Call her,” he said in a low voice, and both men looked at him with confusion. 

“What?”

Gojo’s smile was gone. He pulled off his shades and glared at the man. “Call her. Tell her you need to see her in private. It’s urgent.”

The man didn’t move, he just stared up at Gojo as if he’d sprouted another head. 

Gojo leaned down. “I think she has the right to know about this, don’t you?”

The man looked positively horrified. A bead of sweat ran down his face. “You want me to tell her? I can’t do that! She’ll-“

Gojo looked at the man the way he would look at a curse that had just attacked him, and the man’s words died in his throat. Gojo put one hand on the man’s shoulder. “I said call her. Right fucking now.”

The man’s fingers were trembling as he pulled his phone from his pocket. As he began dialing, Gojo pointed at the friend. “And you, if you ever so much as glance at her again, I’ll rip your eyeballs out of your fucking head.”

****************

You were standing in line with three of your friends to buy tickets for a movie when one of them asked how things were going with Haruto.

“Okay I guess,” you answered. “I’m still not sure how I feel about him. I like him, but I don’t think I’m in love with him.”

Your friend Sumi smiled reassuringly. “Give it a little more time. You guys are still getting to know each other.”

Aiko, another friend that you had been on many missions with, sighed and patted your back. “You’re still holding out for Gojo Satoru, aren’t you?”

Sumi and the third friend Keiko looked surprised, and you instantly reddened. “Huh? Gojo? What do you mean?”

Sumi asked, looking from Aiko to you. 

“They hooked up,” Aiko said, “twice.”

You looked at her with wide eyes. You’d never told her about that. “How did you know?”

She grinned. “Actually I just suspected it, but now you’ve confirmed it.”

You winced, but she laughed and went on. “The first mission we were all three on, you left the sushi joint with his arm around you on the last night. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what happened. Especially with his reputation. Then the second time, you two disappeared together in the middle of a mission.”

Sumi and Keiko stared at you for a moment. When you didn’t deny anything Aiko said, they launched into a string of rapid questions. 

“How was it?”

You shrugged. “Uh, nice?”

“Is he good in bed?”

“…. Yes.”

“Does he really have a huge dick?”

You blushed, but nodded, and the girls made a squealing sound. 

“I heard he keeps his sunglasses on during sex. Is that true?”

“I asked him to take them off,” you answered. 

“Can’t believe you scored him twice,” Aiko said, interrupting the interrogation. “From what I’ve heard, he never sleeps with the same person more than once.”

You blinked. “Really?”

Aiko nodded. “Yeah, he’s a one and done kinda guy. Guess he doesn’t want to get serious with anyone. Speaking of which, you should be careful. Don’t get too involved with him. He doesn’t seem like the type of guy to settle down, from what everyone says about him.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks.”  You gave a vague answer. Aiko had no idea what had really happened between you and Gojo. You hadn’t realized that being a repeat lover for him was so rare. You wondered what the girls would think if they knew he’d invited you to spend the weekend at his place. 

But all that was over, you reminded yourself. You and Gojo were over. You had more respect for yourself than to be flattered by a guy, even one as amazing as Gojo, wanting to use you as a sex friend. 

Your phone suddenly rang, and you fished it out of your purse to see who the caller was, thankful for the distraction. It was Haruto, and you felt a little guilty that you’d just been talking and thinking about another man. You answered, and his voice sounded strained on the other end. 

“I need to see you,” he was saying, the words coming out a little too quickly. “It’s urgent.”

“Right now? But we were just together,” you said, confusion building in your mind. You hoped he wasn’t just trying to get you in bed. His attempts had started to feel a little pushy lately. 

“It’s important,” he said. “I’ve rented a hotel room near the bar so we can talk privately.”

“Haruto, I’m really not comfortable going to a hotel with you.”

“It’s not what you’re thinking, I swear,” he told you, his voice sounding frantic. “I just… need to talk to you. And it has to be in person. Okay?”

You sighed. “Alright. If it’s just to talk.”

After you ended the call, you got a text from Haruto with the name of the hotel and the room number. You told your friends what happened and waved goodbye to them before heading back to see what was so urgent. 

As you walked down the carpeted hallway of the hotel, you felt a faint feeling of panic, like something might be very wrong. Had Haruto received bad news? Or perhaps he’d grown tired of waiting and had decided to break up with you. The thought made you feel relieved rather than worried, and you thought that was a bad sign for your relationship. 

You reached room 404 and took a deep breath before knocking. A few seconds later, the door opened, and Haruto stood on the other side. He looked terrible! His face was damp with sweat, his skin was pale, his eyes darted about like a frightened animal’s. “Haruto?” you asked. “What’s wrong?”

He stepped back and motioned you in without a word. When you stepped through the door, your breath caught in your throat. 

Sitting on the edge of the bed was Gojo. No blindfold or sunglasses, which was rare, and his face looked deadly serious, which was even more rare. He stood up as Haruto shut the door behind you. 

“Gojo? What are you doing here? What’s going on?”

Gojo’s expression softened when he looked at you. “I overheard your boyfriend talking to his buddy at the bar after you left. I think you deserve to know what he was saying.”

You looked curiously at Haruto. He wrung his hands nervously and looked at the floor. 

“Haruto,” Gojo said, and there was a coldness to his tone that you’d never heard before. It was like that one word alone was the most terrifying threat in the world. 

Haruto nearly jumped at the sound, then he finally looked you in the face. “Alright! Fuck it, I’ll admit it! I have cameras hidden all over my bedroom. I was gonna record us whenever I could talk you into sleeping with me!”

You stared at him, hearing the words but not processing them. “Record us? What are you talking about?”

“I was gonna make videos of you without telling you,” he said. 

Gojo chimed in. “Tell her what you were gonna do with the videos, Haruto.”

Haruto was avoiding your gaze again. “I was gonna share them with my friends. And maybe sell them online.”

Ah. So that was it. He didn’t like you. He didn’t care about you at all. He just wanted to sleep with you, just like Gojo. Just like all the guys who approached you in high school and even now. Only this was much worse. He wanted to share your intimate moments with others against your will. Thank god you hadn’t slept with him. 

You glared at him, your face feeling hot with humiliation and your eyes becoming wet. All this had to happen in front of Gojo! Haruto took a step toward you. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t-“

“Stop,” you said, cutting him off. “I don’t want to hear another word. Stay away from me.”

He must have known you were serious by the look on your face. His expression changed from guilt to annoyance. “Fine. Whatever. I was only interested in you for your tits anyway. Not like you’ve got anything else I want.” 

Gojo stepped over to Haruto and shoved him toward the door. “Alright, you can get the fuck out now, you useless piece of shit.”

Haruto flinched at the harshness of Gojo’s voice, and was out the door in seconds. Now alone in the room with Gojo, you turned your back to him so he couldn’t look at your face. You were already embarrassed enough. 

“Thank you for warning me about him,” you said, trying and failing to keep your voice steady. You wanted to leave, but you also wanted to give Haruto enough time to be gone by the time you got down to the hotel lobby. You definitely didn’t want to run into him again. 

You heard Gojo’s footsteps coming closer to you, then his voice, so much softer than before, asking, “Are you okay?”

Wiping your eyes, you turned to face him, surprised that he was already so close. “I’ll be fine,” you said with a fake smile plastered on your mouth. Then you stepped toward the door to leave. 

Gojo suddenly grabbed your wrist. “Wait,” he said, “I was at the bar tonight because I knew you’d be there. I wanted to talk to you.”

You pulled your hand free of his gentle grip. Tears were still burning your eyes. “Please, I can’t handle this right now,” you told him. 

“Handle what?”

“You telling me again how I don’t meet your standards but you’ll lower yourself enough to fuck me sometimes. I get it, okay? Just please leave me alone.”

Gojo just stared at you, a hurt expression on his face. “I guess I deserve that,” he said. “But no, I came to apologize. I was wrong. I was an idiot, a dumbass, whatever you wanna call me. I said a lot of stupid shit that hurt you, and I’m sorry. If it’s not too late, could we start over?”

Your heart was doing flip flops. You’d longed to hear him say those words, but… after what just happened with Haruto, you had to be more careful. 

You looked away from him, not wanting to let him charm you with those beautiful eyes of his. “Do you want me as a sex friend?

Or something more?”

He moved closer, close enough to put his hands on your shoulders. “You’re all I can think about when we’re apart. I miss the way we talked during that first mission, the way you laughed. I want us to go back to that. I want to see where this goes. So I guess I’m asking if you’ll be my girlfriend.”

You turned away from him. “I’d love to, but I can’t be a secret, Gojo. If you can’t tell anyone about us-“

“I’ll tell the whole world!”

You looked at his face. “What?”

He looked totally serious. “I’ll tell everyone. I want everyone to know.”

You almost dove into his arms, but something held you back. “It’s easy to say that here, right now, in a hotel room. Will you still say that in the morning?”

He hesitated for a moment, and you felt that familiar sense of dread. But then he pulled out his phone and closed the distance between you. He wrapped one arm around you and pulled your face closer to his, then he kissed your cheek. At the same time, his other hand held up his phone and took a selfie of the two of you.  

He pulled away and began tapping on his phone, leaving you stunned into silence. Then, your phone chimed. You pulled it out and found a notification that you’d been tagged in a post on Mystigram. With trembling fingers, you opened it to see. 

Gojo had posted the picture of him kissing your cheek to his page, and tagged you in it. The caption read: “Me and my hot girlfriend! Try not to be jealous!”

Your eyes flew back to his face. He was grinning at you. The post started getting comments immediately. 

Itadori Yuji: Congrats, sensei! 😁

Kugisaki Nobara: Ugh, she’s way too pretty for you! 

Ieiri Shoko: Try not to fuck this up.

You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. But you had one more question. 

“What made you change your mind?”

Gojo was laughing as he read over the comments pouring in. “Oh, it just took Shoko talking some sense into me. I was going crazy, worrying about you being on missions, wondering what you were doing, craving your homemade sweets… so I went to her for advice. She’s always had a way of making me see logic.”

“You told her about me?”

“We’ve been friends since high school. Of course I told her,” he said. Then he laughed again. “I told Nanami too but I don’t think he was paying much attention. I was mid sentence when he said, ‘Please stop telling me about your sordid escapades. I’m going to vomit.’ And that was all he had to say about it.”

He’d told his friends about you. He’d been worried enough about this situation to consult them. And he didn’t mind those closest to him knowing about you, even before realizing he’d been wrong. Those thoughts warmed your heart. 

Before you knew it, you were crying again, so overwhelmed with emotion. Gojo dropped his phone on the bed and wrapped his arms around you. “So? Are we a couple now?” he asked. 

You nodded against his chest, and his arms tightened slightly. “Great,” he said, stroking your hair. “Want me to fuck you?”

A laugh escaped your lips, and the tears stopped. You pulled back and looked up at him. “So romantic.”

He leaned down and kissed you. “I’ve been dreaming about rearranging your insides,” he whispered, his voice tingling in your ear. “Have you been dreaming about me?”

You kissed him back, tasting his lips. “Yes,” you breathed out. 

“What were you dreaming?” he asked, his voice turning husky as his hands began to roam over your body. 

“Ahh,” you moaned as he kissed your neck. “It’s… embarrassing…” You had been dreaming about him. A lot. Most of it had been quite filthy.

One of his hands slipped under your dress, rubbing up your bare thigh and then squeezing your ass. “Embarrassing? Heh. I’m gonna have to fuck that shyness out of you.”

That sounded fun, you thought, raising your arms to allow him to pull your dress over your head. You unzipped his jacket, your hands desperately trying to get his clothes off as fast as possible. 

The jacket discarded, he pulled his black T-shirt off next, then stood back to look at you in your silky black underwear. “Seriously,” he said, “tell me what you want. I’ll make it happen, whatever it is. Any fantasy, any dirty idea that pops into your head. I wanna hear it.”

You looked at the floor and muttered something. 

“What was that?”

You stepped closer and met his gaze. “I said… I want you in my mouth.”

His beautiful eyes widened, and there was a glimmer of excitement in them as he grinned and said, “Holy fuck, I hit the jackpot!”

***********

Gojo was lying on his back in the bed, completely nude, his naked girlfriend halfway across him, her warm, wet mouth greedily sucking his cock. He raised his head up to watch. He couldn’t imagine a more lovely sight than her soft, full lips sliding down his shaft. 

He moved one hand down to touch her hair, just happy to have her within reach. She glanced sideways at him, her face tinted pink. How cute of her to be shy even while deep throating him. 

He’d had plenty of blowjobs in his life, even given a few, but this… this was different. Was it because he’d formed an emotional connection to her? He felt so much affection for her that simply being touched by her at all felt far better than anything he’d experienced with anyone else. 

Well, with one exception, but he wasn’t ready to think about that, to compare them. He’d tucked those memories into a neat little box in the back of his mind where they could remain untouched and protected. 

But this wasn’t enough. He wanted to taste her too. He grabbed hold of her legs and swung them up and over him, so that she was lying face down on top of him, her head at his groin and his at hers. She gave a little cry of surprise and drew her knees forward to lift herself off him, but that only spread her thighs apart and gave him easier access. 

“G-Gojo, what are you doing?” Her voice sounded so flustered. He could practically hear the embarrassed arousal. 

“I thought I told you to call me Satoru,” he murmured, pressing his lips ever so gently to her heated, quivering flesh. She jerked, but he grabbed her hips and held her in place. He waited, feeling her taut legs relax slowly, giving her time to get used to this extremely intimate position. 

“Don’t stare at me,” she said in a shy voice, then he felt her lips around his cock again. 

“Oh I’m gonna do so much more than stare,” he said back, using his fingers to open her folds. “I’m gonna do so many embarrassing things to you…” He ran his tongue over her open slit, tasting the plentiful juices. She was drenched, and deliciously sweet. He felt her body twitch nervously, but her mouth never slacked off. He felt her tongue lapping at his tip, her soft hands squeezing wherever they could. 

Her clit was so cute, sitting there so glossy with his saliva and her fluids, completely defenseless to him. His thumb rubbed over it, then he prodded it with his tongue, drawing circles around it. 

She shifted, her mouth leaving his dick long enough for her to moan out, “Satoru… I’m… I’m about to…”

He licked her clit again, slowly. “You can cum first,” he said.

She wiggled a bit in his grasp, but then took him into her mouth again, stifling her own moans. She took him so far in it felt like he was being swallowed, and the little gagging sound she made sent shivers through his entire body. Now it felt like a competition, and Gojo never lost. 

His tongue was on her clit again, and he pushed two fingers inside her, curling them in a way that made her thighs tremble on either side of him. He felt himself slide out of her mouth, and then her tongue was gliding over him from base to tip. He could feel his cock twitching under her touch, but he kept himself under control. Then, he heard her sweet little voice say, “Satoru… cum in my mouth… please?”

Fuck, she wasn’t playing fair! His breath hitched in his throat, a shudder rippling through him, but he wasn’t defeated just yet. He leaned up and lapped at her clit again, gently, slowly, feeling her clenching his fingers, and then he grazed his teeth over it, lightly pulling on the tiny nub. 

She moaned around his cock, her legs shaking, and he knew he’d won. He kept pumping his fingers into her as she rode out her orgasm, her lips still around the base of his cock. With no more reason to hold back, he let the feeling of her hot mouth overwhelm him, and he came straight into her throat. 

He let his head fall back onto the pillow as he panted, and she took the opportunity to turn her body around so that her legs fell off the side of the bed, her face still buried in his crotch. She waited until he was completely empty before she removed her mouth, but a few strings of cum were drizzling down his cock. He held his head up enough to look down at her as she licked him clean.

When finished, she straightened up, sitting on her knees beside the bed. She looked like an angel, or a goddess. How could he have ever thought he was out of her league? How did it take him so long to realize how amazing she was? He’d been a fucking fool. 

He sat up in the bed and smiled at her. “Take a shower with me?”

She blushed. “A shower? I guess so.”

He laughed. “How are you shy after everything we’ve done? I had my face shoved in your pussy just now.”

She turned beet red. “Ahhh! Don’t say that! I was trying not to think about it!”

He stood up from the bed and pulled her into a hug, their naked bodies pressed against each other. “Do you still doubt how hot you are? You can’t even imagine how many times I’ve jacked off while thinking about you.”

She looked up at him. “Really?”

He gave her a quick kiss on the lips. “Really.”

She smiled then, and took his hand as they walked into the bathroom. 

**************

You were still nervous about showering with Gojo. It felt like such a private thing to do, but he seemed really into the idea, so you agreed. He joked around as he turned the water on, pretending he didn’t know how to work the knobs and “accidentally” spraying himself in the face. He was trying to put you at ease, and it was mostly working. You found yourself giggling at his antics as you both stepped into the large, walk-in shower. 

Before you could even reach for the small bottle of shampoo sitting in a tiny corner shelf, Gojo suddenly shoved your back against the glass shower door and kissed you passionately, his mouth overtaking your own. The steamy water was spraying both your bodies, soaking his shiny hair, running down his torso. Without even looking, you knew he was hard again, the large erection pressing against your stomach. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck and his hands slipped under your thighs, lifting you up so that your legs could wrap around his body. You were pinned against the shower door when you felt him push inside you, deeply, roughly, the way you loved it. Your back collided with the glass with every powerful thrust, an ache you’d been craving building between your legs as he pounded into you. 

You were going to be covered in bruises after this, but that thought only turned you on even more. Gojo had that wild look in his eyes, the one that almost made you cum on the spot. You wanted him to break you. It wasn’t that you were a masochist. It wasn’t pain that excited you, but rather watching him lose control, seeing that unhinged expression and knowing you had that effect on him, that you could drive him mad with your body. The pain, the bruises, they were just the evidence. 

Burying your face in his neck, you tried to muffle your moans, your breaths shuddering. He was making such lovely grunts and growls, his fingers digging into your soft thighs. You chanced a peek at his face, and he looked like an entirely different person from the man who’d just been joking around with you. His wet hair was partially covering one eye, the other practically glowing with uncontrolled lust, his lips parted, teeth showing as ragged breaths pushed through them. 

God, he was beautiful. Frighteningly so. Inhumanly so. For the second time, you wondered if he actually was a god that had been banished to earth. He certainly fucked like one. 

Your legs slipped from his waist, the water making it hard to keep your grip, and they dangled helplessly above the floor. He didn’t even seem to notice that he was holding more of your weight as he plowed into you, every thrust feeling deeper than the last. Your arms were still around his neck, but your strength was failing you. You clasped your hands tightly and leaned your face up to kiss him. His mouth was hungry upon yours, his tongue shoving its way in. 

When you came, your arms fell to your sides and your body went limp in his arms, quivering with pleasure as he kept fucking you. His grip on you tightened, and after several more minutes of being slammed into the glass door, you felt his whole body stiffen. Then, you felt hot cum shoot deeply inside you as Gojo groaned. 

He stayed inside you for several more minutes, even after he’d finished cumming. It was like he didn’t want to separate from you, but eventually he pulled out and set you back on your feet. You legs gave way immediately, as if they were made of spaghetti, but Gojo caught you. He held you gently until you regained your strength, then he reached you the soap with a grin. 

“I’ll wash your back if you wash mine,” he said. 

You laughed, taking the soap from him as he turned his toned back to you. 

An hour later, you were both dressed and sitting on the bed in the hotel room, talking about what each of you had been up to lately. During a lull in the conversation, you leaned your head over on his shoulder and whispered, “Is this real?”

“Hmm?”

You hesitated, then said, “I keep waiting for you to say this won’t work out.”

He wrapped an arm around you. “I’m not gonna lie and say this will be easy. I travel a lot for missions, and my teaching job is important to me, but we can make it work. We’ll spend time together whenever we can. Speaking of which… wanna come to my place next weekend?”

You laughed, feeling the tension dissipate from your body. “For pancakes? Sure.”

“And debauchery,” he said. “Don’t forget the debauchery.”

****************

Epilogue:

The first thing you thought when you arrived at Gojo’s house was, “Holy shit, it’s huge!”

Gojo stepped up beside you and gave you a peck on the cheek. “That’s what she said.”

You giggled at his silly joke and let him lead you inside. The house was of an old fashioned design, with a closed in yard, sliding doors, tatami floors, the whole works. It was a sprawling estate that looked as if it would have dozens of servants roaming the halls. 

“You really live here all by yourself?”

He shook his head as he laid out some slippers for you to change into, then pulled off his own shoes. “I have an apartment near the school that I use most of the time. I don’t use this place often, but this is a special weekend.”

“It’s beautiful,” you said, looking around. Despite the classic design of the structure, it had modern furnishings. You were admiring a lovely vase on a glossy wooden end table when you noticed a large cardboard box sitting just inside the living room. It looked totally out of place, and Gojo noticed your interest. 

“Go ahead and look inside,” he told you, a strange smile on his lips. 

“Okay…” 

You approached the box and pulled the flaps open, squatting down to get a good look. Inside was an assortment of items you couldn’t quite identify at first. But as you began pulling them out and looking more closely, your face began to burn. 

“Are these… all sex toys?!”

Gojo laughed at your reaction. “Well, not all of them. There’s some costumes, handcuffs, edible underwear…”

You grimaced as you pulled out what appeared to be a riding crop, then the biggest dildo you’d ever seen in your life. There was also a skimpy maid costume, among other bizarre garments. “Why is all this stuff just sitting here in a box?”

Gojo rubbed the back of his head, messing up his hair a bit. He looked oddly shy. “I ordered it all. I figured we could have fun trying a bunch of stuff, see what we like.”

That did sound like fun. You examined each item, sometimes having no idea what its function was. 

Gojo sat down on the floor beside you, watching your face as you looked though the box. “If there’s anything that makes you uncomfortable, just put it back in the box and I’ll toss it. Or better yet, I’ll have it delivered to Nanami’s place.”

You laughed then, imagining the strait laced-looking man you met a few days ago opening a box full of items like these. 

When you were finished sorting them into piles of “will definitely try”, “might try”, and “hard no”, you and Gojo both stood up. “So, are you going to give me a tour?” you asked.  

Gojo gave you a somewhat menacing grin, his dark sunglasses blocking out your view of his eyes. “Sure. Let’s start with the basement.”

The End. 

Tag List:

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[tiltedsyllogism]

Hi! I'm very intrigued about your Aleida/Sergei fic. May I know more? 👀

(in re this fic ask meme)

@trickybonmot asked about this one too! ...which is slightly unfortunate because I doubt that I'm ever going to write this one properly. I imagined it as a post S3 fic in which Aleida runs into Sergei at a memorial for Margo, and becomes suspicious that the two of them were more closely connected than she herself had ever realized, and sets out on another Investigation to learn the truth -- but that the secret secondary plot (the real plot) would be Aleida coming to grips with the ways that Margo had disappointed her through her conversations with Sergei, who of course understands very deeply how you can love somebody and still lie to them.

BUT I don't think there's any version of this project that isn't quite long and involved, and the ways in which it doesn't match S4 canon have made me feel less interested in writing it, rather than more (which isn't always what happens, but has happened in this case.)

That being said, I'm grateful for a chance to share the one bit of conversation in the draft that felt really compelling to me! So here it is below the cut:

_____

"Were you fucking her?" She asks scornfully. 

She expects a yes — it’s what she’s been steeling herself for. But she’s also braced for a no, for Dr Nikulov to lose his temper. She’s too smart to think she’s always right, and as for the yelling, this isn’t her first rodeo. 

But it’s neither of these things. His face falls, his eyes cloud, and Aleida realizes she wasn’t prepared at all for this particular combination of yes and no. 

"She was very very dear to me," he says at last. Barely a whisper. 

No, Aleida wants to say. No, she was very dear to me.

[puppiefangs]

remade my moonpaw and cometpaw refs a couple weeks back n never posted em + bonus moonpool (moonpaw reflection n real form)

rambling bout my au/ideas/rambling under the cut

[insert andrew hussie "homestuck is my intellectual property" meme here]. i love moonpaw, shes mine now

so everything i said in my last moonpaw n cometpaw ref post is still the same, but i wanna expand on it, plus inculde the horror pic i made as well. also i love moon^2 a lot so its canon to me.

i imagine after getting super frustrated with her clanmates for the upteenth time about them ignoring cometpaw, moonpaw leaves in the night to blow some steam. shes kinda just wandering the territory until she starts to hear a voice or singing and eventually ends up at the moonpool. she thinks its a loner or something hauled up there but finds out its the moonpool itself, and the moonpool realizes she can hear it. they quickly develop a friendship, moonpool being so thankful of moonpaw to finally be heard after trying for so many years with none of the other clan cats listening to its words and songs.

moonpaw confides in moonpool about being protective of her sibling and her clanmates being terrible, and it excites moonpaw more when moonpool can actually see cometpaw too (they show up in its reflection). moonpaw feels moonpool is the only one thats gets her and understands her struggles, and she starts to develop a crush on moonpool.

this relationship starts creating even more problems between moonpaw and her clanmates as she starts telling everyone how she can speak to moonpool, and doing as clan cats do, think shes having a connection to starclan. like an actual one, not the things they assumed were talking to starclan like imagining up her sibling and constantly talking to them. moonpaw yells that she cant talk to starclan and has never talked to a starclan cat, and she means the actual moonpool is talking, but no one listens to her and force her out of warrior training to immediately start to be a med cat apprentice. so for a bit (like nearly a full book) shes stuck as a med apprentice and is really bad at it. cometpaw loves it tho bcuz at least they can live out their dream of being a med apprentice, and possess moonpaw's body from time to time whenever moonpaw needs to do her duties. but whenever comet isnt possessing her, moonpaw doesnt know jack about any of this herb and healing nonsense.

im imagining a scene where moonpaw is dragged to a half moon meeting and immediately rushes to moonpool to talk to it and either the other med cats think shes crazy or just super enthusiastic about talking to the ancestors in a weird kinda way. but shes still whining and yelling that they arent listening to moonpool and they just go on about their business, which frustrates her to no end.

moonpaw hates everything. no one believes her, the position she was forced into shes failing at, her mentor is being rude and pushing all these things on her she doesnt understand and doesnt have the capacity to, she just wants to be a warrior again.

then this all culminates into eventually getting so fed up she snaps at cometpaw and cometpaw eventually has to come clean and tell her theyve been dead this whole time and shes the only one thats been able to see them. moonpaw cant believe it at all. she starts out thinking its a joke, a really mean one, but still. its not.

she asks why shes able to see them and why theyve been able to grow alongside her if theyre dead? they think it has to do with their soul being absorbed by moonpaw before birth but they arent entirely sure. she asks why they didnt tell her sooner? they wanted to live a life alongside their sibling and because it would upset moonpaw if she knew. she asks what this makes her now? they dont know.

moonpaw's entire mind breaks at this. her life has been a lie. her sibling had lied to her all their life, had made her seem like some kind of freak to their clanmates her whole life. she thought she was protecting them from their clanmates, but cometpaw was just manipulating her. they were using her to become what they couldnt achieve, is what she tells herself, a medicine cat.

moonpaw snaps at cometpaw to never talk to her again, it doesnt matter that theyre soul bound or whatever. right now, moonpaw wished cometpaw's soul was gone.

cometpaw fades from her vision and tears fill her eyes as she runs out the clan to live with moonpool forever. even if cometpaw was lying, moonpool has never lied to her.

the moonpool consoles her, letting moonpaw cry into the water and drink it up as soon as her face dries. now moonpaw sees how she actually looks. this entire time, seeing cometpaw as something separate from her allowed her mind to rid cometpaw from her body entirely. now as she looks in moonpool's water she sees the orange on her pelt, the one green eye she recognized as cometpaw's, her uneven fur that would become fluffy like cometpaw's and then smooth out like hers.

moonpool tries to calm her down, telling her cometpaw didnt mean anything bad from it. moonpool tells moonpaw to see it from her sibling's perspective. in fact, moonpool says it and cometpaw are one in the same. only moonpaw could see or hear either of them. moonpool had been alone for so many years, only able to watch the clan cats but never be seen or heard. only used. only to be visited every once in awhile to speak to starclan. forever alone as a thing, but never a person.

moonpool loves moonpaw, and moonpool knows moonpaw loves it back. moonpool is grateful that moonpaw can finally see it as its own person and not just some object. and moonpool knows cometpaw feels the same for moonpaw.

moonpaw knows moonpool is right, and even if cometpaw isnt alive, its not like she can go back to her old clan. even if she accepted cometpaw isnt alive, everyone knows her for being weird, theyd try to force her back to being a med cat even if she admits that what they thought was her speaking to starclan was just her talking to her sibling's ghost. theyd make it about starclan. no one whos alive will understand her.

she decides to give herself up to the moonpool.

she tells cometpaw that shes accepted them again and shes sorry, and cometpaw is sorry too for holding this back from her for so long. moonpaw tells cometpaw that its ok and she missed them, and shes found a way for them to be together for real.

moonpool lifts itself out the water, a beautiful shimmering cat made of flowing water. normally when it does this it looks like moonpaw, a weird kind of reflection. but now it looks like no one moonpaw has ever seen, a new cat who smiles sweetly and presses its cold wet nose to hers.

moonpaw faces her sibling and does an impromptu naming ceremony for both of them. she messes up the speech a few times and adds parts here and there that she couldnt remember, as there hadnt been a warrior ceremony in moons, but eventually she gets it out.

moonwatcher and cometchaser.

moonpool guides moonwatcher to the bank and wraps itself around her in a loving embrace and bringing her into the water alongside cometchaser.

it doesnt matter anymore, nothing does. not the clans, not starclan, nothing. just the love she feels right now, for moonpool and cometchaser. even as moonpool's love fills her lungs and drags her down further and further into her mate, she doesnt regret it a single second.

during all this, the clan sends out a search party for her, and it lasts for a week before they eventually give up. eventually, the med cats have to come back to the moonpool, or maybe even a leader. and there they find her, the blacks and oranges of moonpaw, swirling in the greens and blues of the moonpool.

[bread-tab]

i still consume a lot of tumblr but i feel i am posting and interacting on here less. and i have not shouted out my accomplishments much (now or ever) so i suppose i may seem to be just fading into the fog a little bit. i just wanted to let y'all know: i'm doing better.

... albeit, not this week (this week in particular sucks in strange unprecedented ways lol i'm going nuts (positive) (screw the haters) (fuck it we ball)) but *~in general~* i am awesome. i'm doing really well in therapy. i'm busy with real life stuff which is pushing me to grow really fast and make a lot of choices in the direction of get healthier, get more connected to the community and improve my relationships, get hobbies that are more rewarding than scrolling, because i don't have a lot of spare time between these decisions and gosh darn it i'm good under pressure. wouldn't you know it, doing constructive things for others and yourself also make you less depressed!

(i am living the principle of "do it scared." never been in exposure therapy but i imagine this is maybe what it feels like also.)

i have always come here most often as an escape; distraction, point of connection when i'm partially dissociated, outlet for yelling into the void when i feel very isolated. i don't feel isolated anymore most of the time.

no "void" to yell into. just always everywhere i turn, irl and online, find myself being a goofy dorky human in the company of other goofy humans, learning to be a person, not really as weird or "behind" as i thought in the grand scheme of things. starting to be fine with being me.

strangers and beloved mutuals all, i am dearly grateful to you for being here for me when i was at my most lost. for sharing your own thoughts and feelings and memes. you are good humans

[mysticdragon3md3]

Remembering my claude characterization headcanons for my personal fandom records.

Not to say i dislike reading fics about claude working past his emotional walls, but i still headcanon claude as already mostly emotionally actualized by the time he came to Fodlan. I still think of him as already mentally developed and stable, like Date Masamune 2009. That's why he didn't need byleth to emotionally hold him together, compared to the other lords.

Not that he was 100% fully psychologically Grown at the beginning of FE3H. But i think he had the Strength to be aware of his remaining Weaknesses and to proactively work on them. That's why he kept reaching out to his Golden Deer until they became true friends. I imagine some part of Claude was still scared of emotional connection, closeness, and trust, but he wasn't mired in his Weaknesses. I've always headcanoned that claude inherited Tiana's defiant personality. And i think Claude is defiant against being ruled or stagnated by his Weaknesses, just as much as he is defiant against all the ugliness and hopelesses that the world tried to break him with. He shows his Strength/Growth in how he handles being confronted with his own Weaknesses. So many of his Supports have him confront a mistake or assumption he has made or a blind spot he didn't know he had, but instead of being frustrated or defensive at the reveal of an emotional/cognitive dissonance, he maturely, immediately tries to improve. Claude is emotionally mature, even when evaluating his own flaws, and he doesn't run away from it.

Maybe that's why he's able to not take himself too seriously.

Another thing to note for my personal fandom records:

I know I've written before about Claude having so many serious themes or something, but please dont mistake me for those Claude fans who are upset when he's taken as anything less than SUPER SERIOUS. I was surprised to run into a corner of Claude Twitter who hates "meme lord" Claude, and playful Claude, and they hated Joe Zieja for having fun playing Claude. I'm not with them. I love playful, funny, memey Claude! I just think that Claude can be multi layered enough to contain serious themes, but also have the Stength to not be bogged down by them.

A video essayist once said that FE3H explored the theme of being mired down and psychologically stuck in one's own past trauma, unable to truly move on from it. ["Edelgard Will Always Lose (Fire Emblem Three Houses)" by BOOFIRE191. See link below.] Edelgard overcompensates her defenses vs her past pain by taking the extreme offensive position, war. Dimitri, we watch fall into the depths of his past trauma, stagnating and decaying him. Then we watch him crawl his way out of his trauma based stagnation. Claude already did all of that in his backstory. He tells byleth how he fought and yelled against his bullies, how he felt alone except for the stars and the hope they gave him for his dream. Claude dreamed not of taking the offensive against his oppressors, to emotionally avenge his past self. His resolve turned instead towards creating a world where even such people came to understand and accept each other. Claude decided his response to trauma would be externally extended compassion and positively constructive proaction. That's why he was already mature, actualized, and Strong by the beginning of FE3H. Claude's story in Fodlan wasn't so much about his internal demons, but the external work he had to do to make his decided dream come true (including the last remaining unexpected ways he still had to Grow).

The more i realize Claude's function in the story was to contrast the other lords, especially Edelgard, the funnier it is to remember all the let's players who thought the Golden Deer had nothing to do with the meat of the story. The reason Claude and Edelgard have so many goals in common was to contrast them. Thru Claude, the story demonstrated the more benign way to accomplish those goals, while Edelgard demonstrated the tragic antagonist method.

[salvosfinest]

Stardust to Stardust - Ch. 3

Did you know the full moon is so bright you can see clearly at night?

A minor power failure caused a blackout in the section of the base Darius had settled himself in - his room, his lab, the patient rooms. All dark, aside from the moon shining through the windows.

He found himself bundled up in an old jacket out on the balcony that connected his unit to the main part of the base, seated in a chair he kept outside.

"May I join you?"

Siebren had no sound to his footsteps, but his shadow was hard to miss. "Do you have to ask? I enjoy your company." A bit of laughter weaseled its way into his voice, head tilting to gaze up at the man beside him. Visibly focusing, Siebren lowered himself some, then sat in the air with the balls of his feet barely touching the ground. He had proper clothes now, and Darius had found him a coat that fit for the cooler evenings.

"I forgot to apologize, about the... incident. Since... then, needles and I do not get along." Illumminated by the moon, the sheepish expression on Siebren's face was downright—

What in the world was he thinking? Keep it together!

"You don't have to apologize, y'know. I understand your situation, and I'm no worse for wear. Even your arm is fine, even if Moira tried to get permission to heal you. You're in perfect condition, all considering."

"Considering..."

"Yes. You're doing fantastic." He took the chance to extend a hand and clasp the man's palm - both of their hands were a touch cold but they'd live. A silence fell then, and Siebren averted his gaze to the moon.

His fingers closed.

Shit.

"One day, one day I hope that this... conundrum will be solved. It haunts me. Every waking hour, it is stuck in the back of my head. I am glad for your patience. Understanding. I am sure if I were only under Moira's care, then I would be a mess." Siebren's laughter then was soft - he had heard the man in an uproar one night over a silly meme but this was entirely different. It was delightful. Darius squeezed his palm to show he was listening, keeping his breathing even.

"I heard you yelling, by the way. It's rare for others to... have another's back, so to speak. I appreciate it." That smile. It lined his face and distorted the pathways carved into his skin for his minor cybernetics. Oh whatever gods were out there, help!

"Ah- ah it's nothing! Really! Not many are in a place where they have agency, and I don't want that to happen to you again. You're flourishing on your own. I'll have a proper room ready soon, but it won't be here. But you're always welcome to visit. Promise." He hadn't had a conversation like this before. Akande. Sombra. Moira. He was even there for Baptiste and others. Siebren was entirely different. His needs were different. He desired human connection.

So did Darius.

"A shame that this wing isn't large enough to share. I would love to bounce things off of you and see what you think! Imagine the—" Their hands were lifted, briefly stopping the astrophysicist in his tracks. "How long have I been holding your hand?"

"A few minutes."

"And you did not stop me?!"

"Wh— hey! It's cold out, do you expect me to complain?!" It was silent again before Siebren let out a long-suffering, amused sigh. "No, I suppose not. You could have just shivered a bit for dramatic effect and you would have my coat." What—

"Hey, I mean... I wasn't going to do that! It took forever to find a coat that fit you. In a different life, I would've just asked." Retracting his hand, Darius found the pockets of his jacket and tucked them away. Still warm, and less awkward!

"What is different now?" Siebren floated closer, shifting his stance so his head and arms rested on the balcony's railing, looking towards Darius. How could he lie? It's so easy to lie to everyone else but... the doctor was just an extraordinary man under some poor circumstances.

"Well— first of all, I'm older than I was before. Not many- people go for that—"

"Men—"

"Hush. Second of all, you're... my patient, still. Ethically it's fucked up. Perhaps when you're just Doctor de Kuiper... things can be different. Optimistically, it means we can share ideas—"

"Have lunch?"

"S-Sure, if you want." Hopefully Siebren wasn't misreading his unconditional kindness as romantic interest! Though, it would be nice...

No. He couldn't think that way—

The sound of the intercom blaring a short test signal startled the both of them, the exterior lights switching on in succession. "Ow- ah... let's head inside, Doctor, it's going to get colder." He stood and knocked the tip of his boot against the cold metal floor. "I will be in after you in a moment. I want to gaze at her for a while longer." There was a dreamy quality to his voice - a sound that Darius had come to admire.

"I'll drag you to bed if you're not inside in thirty." He half-scolded at the man's back, and he was answered with a lazy wave.

He'll be fine.

...Surely he'll be fine.

[strmbringer]

Louis de Sade is alive, just saying

(warning: contains many gory/graphic scenes, but if you’ve read/are reading vnc you already know so moving on)

So you don’t think Louis’ still alive do you? You don’t think he survived even after being decapitated? You think he’s dead dead do you? Well, you’re wrong!

Louis de Sade was decapitated by his grandfather (un)affectionately known as “Teacher”, by Noe. I mean look:

Looks pretty clear, Louis’ dead and not in the vampire dead-but-really-undead/living-dead kind of way. Hard to argue with on-page proof like this, right? Right? WRONG!

Let’s back it up a bit. 

Let’s talk about Teacher for a second. Why? You’ll see. We first heard about him in chapter 2 when Noe told Vanitas why he was interested in the Book. He was asked by Teacher to find the book and ‘see for yourself’. Pretty open ended instruction that even Vanitas commented on the ‘vagueness’ of it.

Next we meet the Teacher with Noe’s backstory and Louis’ story being revealed. The Teacher is Domi and Louis’ grandfather. He ended up buying Noe from kidnappers and taking him back with him to where Louis lived and Domi visited. 

What’s the first thing that Louis said to Noe when he met them? Something sweet and welcoming? NON!

These words coming from a child, especially the GRANDchild of the person in question, gives you shivers trying to think of what’s in store. It really paints a layer of terror because what exactly does Louis mean? And what exactly does Louis know or has seen that makes him so sure of what he says?

Let’s go back to Louis now. We get a glimpse of Louis’ mind when Noe gets a taste of Louis’ blood and, because of his Archiviste powers, Noe look’s into Louis’ memories/mind.

Louis had been sent by his family to his grandfather’s house because he was ‘sick’. He wasn’t told what his sickness was.

And here’s where we finally get some more insight into the Teacher from his own mouth. The only reason Louis knew what ‘sickness’ he had was because the Teacher ‘accidentally’ left the papers out where he could access them. He made sure Louis knew what was wrong with him. Was it just to see how Louis would react knowing he was ‘destined’ to die? Who knows. 

But Louis lived with his grandfather long enough to know that he had ulterior plans, plans which most likely wouldn’t favour Louis and his good health in the end.

So what do we know about the Teacher besides that he’s creepy as hell? He has no lines when it comes to his experiments, not even with family.

After that conversation, Louis started acting differently. More silent, more withdrawn. He became obsessed with the idea of death, unknowingly to Noe and Domi. He would carve stake after stake. It all came to a head when Louis, Domi, and Noe’s friend, Mina, was sentenced to death, which Louis already knew.

Louis knew there was no cure. He knew what would happen to him. When Domi and Noe were in danger from the curse bearer, Mina, Louis finally met the Charlatan.

Thus, Louis finally became a curse bearer himself. The last stage of this messed up pokemon evolution.

Instead of facing decapitation which is what he’d be sentenced to, Louis begged Noe to kill him right then, right there. Instead, the Teacher showed up and, without pause, decapitated his own grandson. Pretty messed up, right?

What’s interesting is that for someone who seemed so dead set on ‘observing’ Louis, the Teacher wasted no time on going straight for the kill. Now some people might argue it was a ‘mercy killing’ or something where he didn’t draw out Louis’ death any longer because Louis would ultimately face the same death sentence had he just been captured, but I don’t think so. 

From Louis’ own mouth we’ve heard that his grandfather isn’t who Noe thinks he is. We know through Louis that he’s manipulative and calculating. We know he either conducts experiments himself or observes to see what reactions occur. He basically is a twisted scientist from what we’ve heard and seen.

Now this leads me to Vanitas’ backstory reveal and why I ultimately don’t think Louis is dead. Yes, this means we’re jumping forward.

Chapter 17 is a whole lot of information. We hear more about Vanitas’ past in this chapter. We find out that Vanitas was a test subject for Moreau’s sick experiments.

Moreau used to work for the Chasseurs but then was kicked out because they discovered he was doing side experiments that went against what they stood for: creating vampires. This was all because the Doctor wanted to become a vampire himself because he believes that they are the next step for human evolution. We learn that before Vanitas was known as Vanitas, he was referred to as No. 69. 

We learn that Vanitas wasn’t the only experiment that was part of these experiments. There were more children children who went through unimaginable pain and torture during these experiments. Moreau later mentions another child, referred to as No. 71.

Switch forward a bit and we end up at chapter 27 now. Vanitas is feverish and Jeanne has hid them both away in a small cabin. While delirious, Vanitas mumbles out what sounds like the beginning of a name. It would have been missed but Jeanne heard it despite Vanitas’ mumbling so the focus of the narrative is brought to it. 

What does this prove, you ask because you still aren’t convinced? It proves that Vanitas knows someone, most likely a child going from Vanitas’ own timeline, who’s name starts with ‘Lou’. Who have we, as an audience, met that fits this so far? DING DING DING: LOUIS GODDAMN DE SADE. The only place we know of so far, as an audience, where Vanitas could have met someone, especially another CHILD, was during the time he was kept captive as an experiment for Moreau. ‘Oh that proves nothing’ you say, unconvinced. FINE! Let’s keep going!

Let’s jump forward again to chapter 46. We’re introduced to a new character. What’s interesting about this one is it’s a child. A child that Vanitas knows. Mikhail, the child, reveals that he used to be known as No. 71. What does this mean?? BACKSTORY TIME!

WAIT ACTUALLY BEFORE THAT, LET’S HAVE A QUICK LOOK AT CHAPTER 46. 5!! Why?? You’ll see!

In case 3 of Chapter 46.5 we get another mini look at Louis, Domi, and Noe before Louis was ‘killed’. 

Louis had gone into the woods and Domi and Noe find a book that Louis had been reading before he went. 

Domi and Noe start panicking the longer it takes to find Louis because of the story Louis was reading.

Why is this significant? FORESHADOWING METHINKS!

Okay now back to the regular timeline with chapter 47.

I could go on and on about the tragedy of Mikhail but sorry Mikhail, this ain’t about you. We’ll just do a quick run through of his story to get the basics. Mikhail was saved by the chasseurs from a vampire after seeing his mother die when he was a kid. Unfortunately for Mikhail, Moreau was still hiding out in the catacombs during this time and had Mikhail taken for his horrific experiments. Mikhail, now referred to as No. 71 (the other number Moreau mentioned to Vanitas previously), ended up meeting Vanitas, No. 69. Soon after Mikhail learned the horrors of what was going on firsthand when they started experimenting on him. Vanitas, because he’s the kind who saves someone even when he was only a child too, volunteered to be the main test subject so Mikhail wouldn’t have to go through the torture.

Now here’s where I want to draw your attention:

When Mikhail and Vanitas are settling in for the night, Mikhail spots movement on the other side of their prison. Vanitas is the one to tell us about No. 70. Another child, another experiment. We learn that No. 70's is not part of the same experiments that Vanitas and Mikhail are part of and we also learn that No. 70 is mute.

If you don’t see where I’m going with this, let me spell it out for you: Louis could very well be No. 70! So let’s talk about the mini info dump we got about No. 70 and how it would connect with Louis.

No. 70 is not part of the same experiment as Vanitas and Mikhail. Why? If No. 70 is a child and they came after Vanitas (going by the numerical order), wouldn’t they automatically be part of the blue moon kin experiments? What would the purpose be to take Mikhail if they already have two children? 

If it is Louis, here’s a possible explanation why No. 70 is not viable for the blue moon kin experiments. The blood of the blue moon experiments were done on living human children. Louis automatically would be ruled out for such experiments because 1) he’s a vampire and 2) he is/was killed. We could also add in a 3) he’s a curse bearer but we don’t know enough about Moreau and any experiments on curse bearers. By this logic, Louis would not be considered a prime test subject for the blue moon kin experiments because he doesn’t fit the basic requirements. 

Vanitas believes that something happened before No. 70 got taken for experiments which is why No. 70 became mute. Louis, we know for a fact, was killed by decapitation. This would of course cause serious damage to the vocal cords and neck even if, through Moreau’s experiments, Louis was revived and made whole like a twisted Humpty Dumpty. We know the experiments that Moreau conducts breaks the children apart physically before healing them so it’s not implausible to see it done for Louis even if he was dead by that point.

Let’s connect it back to the fairytale that Louis had been reading before. A fairy and a child became friends and soon everyone, even the child’s horrible family, forgot about him despite the search parties they set up. The boy was always right there, despite the number of times everyone walked by him, they never noticed him. 

How does this foreshadow Louis being No. 70? The fairy in this case would either be Moreau or the Teacher (who I’ll come back to), but instead of Louis willingly following the fairy, he gets taken (or given away). This means that the entire time Domi and Noe thought Louis was dead, he’d been right there all along, alive but wishing he wasn’t (remember Louis’ obsession with death through the method of carving stakes? Yeah I wish I didn’t either). The mini chapter with the fairytale had a happy ending with Domi and Noe reuniting with Louis. This could possibly be hinting at a possible (tragic?) reunion with Domi, Noe, and Louis if he is actually No. 70.

Let’s jump forward again! Here’s chapter 50! 

Mikhail wants to know why Vanitas killed Luna, the OG Vampire of the Blue Moon. He tells Vanitas that the one who saved him, revealed that there’s a way to bring Luna back from the dead. 

So does that mean anyone can be brought back from the dead? And if so, has it already been done? There’s another question to be asked but I’ll get to it in a moment. 

During the heated argument between Vanitas and Noe, Noe is panicked and shouts out that he can’t lose Domi. Not like he lost Louis already.

Why is this significant? The focus very clearly focuses on Noe and how Mikhail eggs him on by bringing up Domi and her feelings of never being enough to get at Noe. But there are 2 small panels I’d like to bring attention to:

1) The panel where Vanitas first hears Noe say Louis (the white one)

2) And the panel of Vanitas right after he founds out who Louis was to Noe and Domi and how Louis died. (the grey one)

The first panel is just him reacting to hearing Louis name. Is this reaction because he’s just never heard it? OR is it because he has heard it before? It can be argued that the second panel is about Vanitas being shocked over such a cruel death of Noe’s friend BUT it looks more like Vanitas has been struck by a realization. What if that realization is that No. 70 and Louis are one and the same? It could potentially explain the look Vanitas has in that second panel.

Now to chapter 54.5! The big reveal at the end! So much happened!!!! OMG!

NOE’S TEACHER/DOMI’S GRANDFATHER FINALLY MAKES AN APPEARANCE!! Why is this significant, you ask? For so many reasons!

He deliberately waited and let Mikhail go as far as he could to ‘observe’ what would happen next. Who did he do this with before? That’s right! Louis! He observed Louis while he lived all the way up until the moment died. And the scene where he killed Louis, what happened? He thought he wouldn’t make it in time to save Noe or stop Louis. HOWEVER, what if he wasn’t actually just in the nick of time? What if he deliberately waited to see what would happen with Louis, like he did with Mikhail? What if he wanted to see what Noe would do? Would Noe actually kill Louis like Noe asked? SO MANY QUESTIONS!!

But that’s not why his entrance in this chapter had me screaming! Here’s what’s important! 

IT’S CONFIRMED THAT THE TEACHER HAS A CONNECTION WITH MIKHAIL!! Mikhail, who was part of Moreau’s experiments. Experiments which showcased No. 70 who was rendered mute from something from their past. 

In chapter 55 it’s confirmed that the Teacher was the one who told Mikhail there was a way to bring the dead back. 

So the question is, why is the Teacher telling Mikhail that there’s a way to bring the dead back? Why is he so sure? Has he himself seen it and if he has, WHO? Who is the only person we’ve seen killed that has a connection to the Teacher? If you’ve been reading this train wreck of a post up to here, you definitely know what my answer is.

Basically what have I been yelling about from day one: Louis’ still freaking alive people!! I rest my case @ disbelievers.

If I forgot to come back to a point that I mentioned I would, feel free to yell at me! Politely. Yell at me politely!

If you disagree, that’s cool! I won’t tolerate any hate or rudeness though. 

[nevermindirah]

Do you have any thoughts on the use of AAVE for Nile (or lack thereof) in TOG fanfiction? I've been reading some Book of Nile fic and some writers seem to write her as a Millennial™ (using words like "fave" and "woke") but never acknowledge her Blackness in her patterns of speech. I know we don't see her use as much AAVE in the films, but I would argue she's in situations where code-switching would be valued (first in a "professional" environment in the army, then around a group of non-Black strangers).

Hi anon! I have many thoughts on this and I'm honored you asked me! But I should start by saying I'm white and any thoughts Black fans and especially Black American fans have on this that they want to share would be beyond lovely. (I'm not gonna tag anybody bc that feels rude but please add onto this post if any of y'all see this and want to!)

The main reason I personally avoid AAVE for Nile in my own fics is because I'm not Black. But Nile-centric fics by Black writers tend to avoid using much of it too, at least from what I've noticed/understood, and my guess is it's largely for the reason you mention, that she's in situations that encourage code-switching.

In movie canon Nile is highly competent at tailoring her language to each situation she finds herself in. This fantastic linguistics analysis meta shows how skillfully Nile chooses her vocabulary and grammar to meet her goals with different conversation partners in different contexts. In comics canon Nile had a bunch of different civilian jobs before joining the Marines, so she would've had experience code-switching in the ways that made sense for all those different contexts as well as the Marines and her family and high school and wherever else she spent her time before we met her. And now she's spending her time with a handful of immortals none of whom are native English speakers and a fellow Black American but one with a Queen's English UK accent whose professional experience is in the CIA where high-status code-switching is often an absolute must for success or even survival.

Fics featuring Nile are charged with extrapolating from that to how it might show up in her use of language that she's coping with a traumatic separation from her family and her career and pretty much everything she's ever known and now she needs to be able to make herself understood to people who seem to care about her and each other but are super duper in crisis, three (soon to be four) of whom predate Modern English entirely and the only one who's anywhere near her contemporary she's not supposed to talk to for a century. All of these people are telling her that pretty much any contact with any mortals poses an existential threat to her and the rest of the group. How the FUCK is she supposed to cope with that, like, generally? And would it be a more effective way for her to cope if she talked to Andy Joe and Nicky using the speech patterns that she used to use with her mom and brother, to at least retain that part of her identity even if it means having to do a lot of explaining, or would it meet her needs better to prioritize Andy Joe and Nicky understanding what she means with her words over using the particular words and grammar forms she used with her family?

I've seen several fics, both Nile-centric / BoN and otherwise, explore this a little bit in how/whether Nile uses Millennial™ speak. It's often a theme in Nile texting Booker despite the exile because of the popular headcanon that he as The Tech Guy is the only other immortal who understands memes. But Nile's much-younger-than-Booker mom probably uses Boomer and/or Gen X memes and Andy has been adapting to new communication styles for forever as evidenced by her canon high level of fluency with standard-American-accented English.

Which brings us back to people avoiding AAVE because they're not Black and they don't want to make mistakes (or they're not Black and they don't want to get yelled at for making mistakes, though I think many people overestimate how much they'll get yelled at while underestimating how much these mistakes can hurt). I can imagine some Black fans hold back from using much AAVE in fic because they don't want to share in-group stuff with white people who are likely to then adopt and ruin it, as white people so often do with Black cultural stuff. Some links about this including a great Khadija Mbowe video. I'm saying this gently, anon, because you might not know: woke, an example you cited as Millennial™ speak, is AAVE, and that's gotten erased by so many white people appropriating it and using it incorrectly online.

And also there's the part where fandom is a hobby and you never know when you're reading a fic that's the very first thing someone's ever written outside of a school assignment. This cultural considerations of language shit takes a level of effort and skill that not everybody puts into every fic, or even could if they wanted to because they haven't had time to build their skills yet. It's definitely easier for non-Black fans to project our millennial feels onto Nile than to do the layers of research and self-reflection it requires to depict what Blackness might mean to Nile, and it's not surprising that often people sharing their hobby creations on the internet have gone the easier route. There's not even necessarily shame in doing what's easier. It's just frustrating and often hurtful when structural white supremacy means that 3-dimensional Black characters are rare in media and thoughtful explorations of them in fandom are seen by the majority of fans as not-easy to make and therefore Nile Freeman, the main character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood, has the least fic and meta and art made about her of our 5 main immortals.

I've been active in different fandoms off and on for twenty years and I barely managed to write 5,000 words about Sam Wilson across multiple different fics in the 7 years since I fell in love with him. There's an alchemy to which characters we connect with, and on top of that which characters we connect with in a way that causes us to create stuff about them. Something about Nile Freeman finally tipped me over the edge from a voracious reader to a voracious writer. It's not for me to judge which characters speak to other individuals to the level of creating content about them, but I do think it's important for us to notice, and then work to fight, the pattern where across this fandom as a whole Nile gets way less content, and way less depth in so much of the content that's in theory about her, than any of these other characters.

Anyway, back to language. My two long fics feature Nile with several Black friends — Copley and OCs and cameos from other media — but all of those characters except Alec Hardison from Leverage aren't American. It's very possible I'm guilty of stereotyping Black British speech patterns in I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. I watched hours and hours of Black haircare YouTube videos in the research for that fic and I modeled my OCs' speech patterns on what I heard from some of those YouTubers as well as what I've heard people like John Boyega and Idris Elba saying in interviews, but the thing about doing your best is you still might fuck up.

I'm slowly making progress on my WIP where Nile and Sam Wilson are cousins, and what ways of talking with a family member might be authentic for Nile is a major question I need to figure out. For that, I'm largely modeling my writing choices on how I hear my Black friends and colleagues talking to each other. I haven't overheard colleagues talking in an office in a long-ass time, but back when that was a thing, I remember seeing a ton of nuance in the different ways many of my Black colleagues would talk to each other. Different people have different personalities! And backgrounds! And priorities! A few jobs ago my department was about 1/3 Black and we worked closely with Obama administration staff many of whom were Black and there was SO MUCH VARIETY in how Black people talked to each other, about work and workplace-appropriate personal stuff, where I and other white coworkers could hear. There are a few work friends in particular who I have in my head when I'm trying to imagine how Sam and Nile might talk to each other. From the outside looking in, God DAMN is shit complicated, intellectually and interpersonally and spiritually, for Black people who are devoting their professional lives to public service in the United States.

One more aspect of this that I have big thoughts on but I need to take extra care in talking about is the idea of acknowledging Nile's Blackness in her patterns of speech. There's no one right way to be Black, and Nile's a fictional character created by a white dude but there are plenty of real-life Black Americans who don't use much or even any AAVE, for reasons that are complicated because of white supremacy. (Highly highly recommend this video by Shanspeare on the harms of the Oreo stereotype.)

Something that's not the same but has enough similarity that I think it's worth talking about is my personal experience with authenticity and American Jewish speech patterns. My Jewish family members don't talk like they're in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I've known lots of people who do talk that way (or the millennial version of it), some of whom have questioned my Jewishness because I don't talk that way. That hurts me. Sometimes when another Jew tells me some shit like "I've never heard a Jew say y'all'd've," I can respond with "well now you have asshole, bless your Yankee-ass heart," because the myth of Dixie is a racist lie but I will totally call white Northerners Yankees when they're being shitty to me for being Southern, and this particular Jew fucking revels in using "bless your heart" with maximum polite aggression, especially with said Yankees. But sometimes I don't have it in me to say anything and it just quietly hurts having an important part of me disbelieved by someone who shares that important part of me. The sting isn't quite the same when non-Jews disbelieve or discount my Jewishness, but that hurts too.

Who counts as authentically Jewish is a messy in-group conversation and it doesn't really make sense to explain it all here. Who counts as authentically Jewish is a matter of legal status for immigration, citizenship, and civil rights in Israel, and it's my number 2 reason after horrific treatment of Palestinians that I'm antizionist. But outside that extremely high-stakes legal situation, it can just feel really shitty to not be recognized as One Of Us, especially by your own people.

It can also feel really shitty to be The Only One of Your Kind in a group, even if that group is an immortal chosen family who all loves each other dearly. Sometimes especially in a situation like that where you know those people love you but there are certain things they don't get about you and will never quite be able to. I'm definitely projecting at least a little bit of my "lonely Jew who will be alone again for yet another Jewish holiday" stuff onto Nile when at the end of I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore she's thinking about being the only Black immortal and moving away from the community she'd built with a mostly-Black group of mortals in that fic. Maybe that tracks, or maybe that's fucked up of me.

Basically, this got very long but it's complicated, writing about experiences that aren't your own takes skill which in turn takes time and practice to build, writing about experiences not your own that our society maligns can cause a lot of harm if done badly, it can also cause a lot of harm when a large enough portion of a fandom just decides to nope out of something that's difficult and risky because then there's just not much content about a character who deserves just a shit ton of loving and nuanced content, people are individuals and two people who come from the exact same cultural context might show that influence in all kinds of different ways, identity is complicated, language is complicated, writing is hard, and empathy and humility and doing our best aren't a guarantee of avoiding harm but they do go a long way in helping people create thoughtful content about a character as awesome and powerful and kind and messy and scared and curious and WORTHY as Nile Freeman.

[thefanficmonster]

Know No Better

Streamer Gang & Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Platonic Fluff, HUMOR, Crack, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: A game of Among Us with this gang can never go without a halt for some spit-fire accusations and bickering, but throw their mutual friend Y/N in the mix and the chaos flares up twice as intensely.

Requested by my dear friend @thelittleplantlover  Hi darling! Thank you so much for being such a loyal reader and never shying away from giving me your full honest feedback. You are an amazing person, a lovely friend and a mutual I’m glad I gained on my Tumblr journey. Love you with all my heart, Vy 💕

“Yo, sorry I’m....late“ Charlie’s eyebrow raises as soon as he enters the Discord call, almost half an hour after the scheduled time due to difficulties with his wi-fi connection. However, neither his presence nor his apology are acknowledged, seeing as how he wasn’t even heard over all the shouting going on in the call. “Um, what’s going on here?“ He asks no one in particular, aware that he probably won’t get an answer. 

Surprisingly, though, someone does answer him - Sykkuno. “Hey Charlie, welcome. You missed a whole round and a whole debacle between...” The yelling voices give a clear idea of who this debacle is happening between: Rae, Corpse and Y/N. “Yeah, you can probably tell between who.”

“Yo, is that Y/N? Dude, I haven’t heard from you in so long where’ve you been?“ Charlie exclaims, eyebrows raising in delighted surprise, “What are you arguing about? Imma argue with you.“

“You don’t even know what we’re arguing about!“ Rae snaps, scaring the ever-loving daylight out of the newcomer that all but shrinks a bit in his seat, “These are matters the three of us have to deal with!“

You see, Charlie’s not one to press his luck - definitely not when the sweetheart Rae lashes out like that, reminding him that the impossible can be possible if you’re a strong enough believer - but right now, seeing as how he isn’t playing yet, he’s thirsty for some amusement even if it comes with the price of being verbally beat and battered by the currently bickering trio.

“God bless the day you three actually manage to deal with something by yourselves.“ He snickers, half-hoping Rae wouldn’t hear him. Actually, it’s more one third hoping she wouldn’t the other two suggesting otherwise. Adding gasoline to the fire - it’s basically in his resume at this point.

The reply he receives is not even oriented around his statement and it doesn’t come from Rae - whether that be a blessing or a curse - but rather from Y/N. “Charlie, help! Corpse and I are being wrongfully accused over here!“

“There’s nothing wrong about my accusations! I heard you bribing Corpse into vouching for you, you impostor!“ Rae spits out the word as though this argument is a real deal and not just them throwing a collective tantrum as they usually tend to do.

“He asked me for immunity in exchange for keeping his mouth shut! I never offered it to him!“ Y/N argues back, “Not my fault he’s a corrupt crewmate!“

“You were about to accept the offer though! Who does that?!“ Rae’s not giving up her ground either.

“Anyone! All of you know you would’ve accepted the offer had you been the one to be proposed it!“ Y/N whines, reminding themself and everyone else that they are not a very argumentative or confrontational. The only time they can be caught butting heads with people is as a joke, among this very group of people and over something as small as a bribery in Among Us. “And why is no one going off at Corpse for this? Why am I the villain here? Um, hello?! I’m an impostor, I’m supposed to be evil. One of your own betrayed you, and I’M your biggest problem?!”

“I’d like it if you didn’t get me involved...“ Corpse inquires shyly, as though fearing he too is in for an outburst from Rae if he dares oppose hers and Y/N’s statements.

Unfortunately for him, he’s attacked by their joined forces with a: “YOU STARTED THIS!” Shouted at him in unison. Just like Charlie, he too shrinks in his seat.

“Hey Toast.“ Charlie nudges one of his friends, one he hasn’t heard from for the entirety of his short time in the Discord call, “You there?“

“Sup man?“ Toast answers, unmuting his mic for the first time after approximately ten minutes of silence on his end due to this heated debate going on.

“Ten bucks says this goes on for another ten minutes.“ Charlie says nonchalantly, already planning the cheap dinner he’s gonna order with those ten bucks.

“Nah man, fifteen for fifteen minutes. These two have no chill.“ Toast says, taking a sip of his soda.

“You’re both wrong.“ Sykkuno interferes, “I’m putting in twenty for twenty and I’m starting a timer.“

“WHAT?!“

The three men sit there paralyzed now that the two sides of the battlefield have temporarily united once again to end them. Lord knows when Y/N and Rae unite, nothing good is in store for those who they’re up against.

“N-nothing...I was just announcing that...“ Charlie starts off, strategically reaching for the plug for his router, “...my wi-fi’s gonna disconnect in three, two...“

“DON’T YOU DARE!“

And WHOOP he’s gone. And so are Toast, Sykkuno and Corpse.

“I really can’t believe them sometimes.“ Rae grumbles under her breath finding the miserable number of remaining players once again gathered in the cafeteria after no one got voted out despite everyone knowing it’s Y/N.

“And here I thought Charlie would back me up.“ Y/N sighs disappointedly, shooting a brief look at their chat, “Hell if I ever trust him again.“

“Look at the bright side though!“ their friend, moments ago opponent, hurries to comfort them as though their argument never happened. Technically, it really didn’t. “He’s at least not gonna get those ten bucks he sounded so confident in getting.“

Knowing Charlie, losing a bet will most likely leave him feeling torn, but hey, much to his comfort, he was the closest in guessing the duration of the arguing. You win some and you lose some, this time he’s done neither. But he will get an earful from Y/N at the first given chance they get, which he’s grown used to over the years, being the one knowing them the longest. What he’s still trying to get used to is how much they’ve clicked with his friend group. Never did he imagine his socially awkward and shy friend would steal all his friends and literally wrap them around their little finger. Truth be told, amazement aside, he’s quite proud of them for it.

Yes, of course he’s gonna try bringing this up when they open fire on him as an attempt to calm them down. Yes, he knows it probably won’t work. But also: yes, he knows what will. Cause that’s what best friends do - they know. However, they should also know better than to bet on their friends.

 But come on, it’s Charlie and Y/N we’re talking about over here - neither of them know any better. Hell, no one in this gang knows better. That’s what makes them so uniquely and wonderfully chaotic. 

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse

[ravenloftbythelamplight]

   Well luckily for you I am now awake and thereby now able to try and explain! I’m gonna try and keep this as structured and coherent as possible, but I am very liable to ramble my way into a word salad so apologies in advance if this becomes unreadable a paragraph or two in. Brace yourself because this is gonna be long.

   So, first things first, in order to explain what the fuck is happening in that meme drawing, I have to explain how my brain eventually made its way to this bizarre conclusion because yes that process of going from thought to thought does have significance here.

Flashback to however many months ago: I had speed-read through VRGR several times over and was mindlessly, non-literally hungry to non-literally consume more Ravenloft lore. I went to TV Tropes because I do that on occasion and the idea of digging through a whole wiki felt intimating at the time. I only skimmed through the bits I was interested in (i.e. the pages on the darklords) but one thing on the main page caught my eye:

   Now for weirdly personal context: in ninth grade at my high school we did a whole section in English class all about Edgar Allen Poe and one of the things we had to read was The Masque of the Red Death. As an end-of-section project one of our options was to make a short graphic novel (of sorts) out of one of ol’ Poe’s writings, and I picked masque of the Red Death because it was the one I liked the most. I made a design for the Red Death based on the description given for the uninvited guest and said design was something I really liked, and even after that section of class was thoroughly done with, I kept drawing it anyway because I just really dug that design I made. Slight aside but actually, funnily enough, I at one point about two years ago had an idea for a story that where I smooshed all the gothic horror lit. stories into one universe (fun fact: the franken-lad NPC in the middle from this post of sketches is a carry-over from this story idea! That’s it’s own whole text post though so I’ll leave it at that), and because I wanted to use that Red Death design for something, I put it into that story as an overarching, looming presence... which is an exceptionally funny thing in hindsight, now knowing that the Gothic Earth spin-off is a thing.

So, with that personal context you can imagine the degree of eyes emoji but slightly blurry to indicate rapid movement I was to see something in reference to the Red Death (and a mashing-together of gothic lit.) so of course I wanted to know more. I wanted to know more, but then I got hung up on that last bit: “..., and Word of God has described the Red Death as an ‘exiled’ Dark Power from the Demiplane of Dread.” “exiled”- that word choice, that one word, fucked me up and I have friends who can attest to that because there is evidence of my wild text-yelling about this on Discord, most of which boiled down to two questions: 1.) Is dissension amongst the ranks of unknowable, cosmic nightmare forces even a thing that can happen? and 2.) If so, then why and how was the Red Death exiled in the first place? What did it do? Those questions can be considered more thuroughly another day though.

   Here’s where our detour ends and we finally make our way back onto the main route of this whole post: Saidra. In the section on Saidra in VRGR it is stated several times that she will, when not hosting lavish and decadent balls, shed her elaborate garb and haunt the streets of Dementlieu as a murderous spirit known as the Red Death.

You can probably see the direction in which this is going.

Saidra’s story in official 5e is a fairly simple tossing-into-a-blender of Cinderella and The Masque of the Red Death and nothing much else beyond Dementlieu itself ... but what if there was more. As my mind is wont to do, I connected dots that had no need to be connected in the slightest and went “OKAY BUT HEAR ME OUT-” and decided that it’d be kinda cool if there was a connection between Saidra and the Red Death of the Gothic Earth spin-off. Now we’re finally at the explanation of the meme image.

   For my partial “my city now”-ing of lore and thereby my campaign, I’ve decided on the following points:

I’ve changed Saidra’s backstory somewhat; in the broad strokes it’s the same as the official one, but of the changes I made the most notable for this post is that her powers and her “darklord” (and that’s in quotes for a reason) status stem from and are due to the influence and interference of the exiled Red Death. It is, functionally, her warlock patron. The plague that swept the ball she was at was not a random occurrence and it wasn’t the Dark Powers either, it came as a result of the willing Faustian pact she made as did her death and return as a wraith-like being.

Throughout this whole thing I have yet to even mention the grandfather clock in the back. That is the vessel through which the Red Death was able to reach into the domains and make a pact with Saidra in the first place, hence the intended ominousness in the drawing. There’s an unrelated reason as to how it was even able to do so without being kicked back out into the infinite multiverse which can be summed up simply with, “Once again Azalin has fucked up everything for everyone and also himself” (a whole post in it of itself). The clock is currently hidden within Saidra’s estate and yes organic tissue has amassed around it.

Speaking of which, you may be wondering what the fuck is up with all the flesh ‘n bones ‘n stuff. That is because for some reason I wanted to give the Red Death a visual association with flesh and organic bodily material. Why? I really don’t know, I just thought it’d be a neat contrast to the immaterial, shadow visual associations of the Dark Powers. So Saidra, as a result, has the power to twist and mold flesh and bone to her will, hence the gross muscle-claw-hand; the two lines coming down along her arm is the skin unraveling like a ribbon (EUGH--). Also, now instead of just casting a regular ol’ disintegrate... you get melted. Like, “Good day to you sir you are now a puddle of viscera on the shiny tile floor” melted. Also there’s minions made of flesh and bone and teeth and eyes. It’s all very body horror. She might make a flesh-throne for herself later but we’ll get to that whenever.

If you’re wondering how she even has flesh to rend like in the picture if she’s still a spirit like in the official stuff... yes.

None of the darklords are aware of this all even being a thing, even Azalin (this has plot reasons). The Dark Powers haven’t done anything about this either (there are also reasons for this).

   And that’s the basic bulk of what I have at the moment. So yeah that meme post is A Lot and I didn’t even get to how all of this ties into my campaign’s overarching plot! I also left a lot of points undiscussed because they could be posts in it of themselves! I have likely thought on these things far more than I should even as a GM--

   In summary: ominous clock does not bode well and Dementlieu has gotten a lot more body horror-y. Both vampire and lich don’t know what the fuck is going on and neither of them are on board with this, meanwhile ghost lady is having a great time. That’s it that’s the meme.

[kittyprincessofcats]

She-Ra S5 E08 - Shot in the Dark

There might be spoilers for the rest of the season in this post!

I absolutely LOVE this episode, and at first, I couldn’t really put my finger on why I liked it that much. And then Noelle tweeted this:

And yeah, that’s what it boils down to. This is the first *happy* Catra episode since... basically since “Once Upon a Time in the Waste” - and back then, the happiness didn’t last long.

(I also just think that story of AJ being so worried about Catra and Noelle reassuring her with every script is so adorable. I love to see how much they all care about these characters.)

Now let’s get into the episode!

- “Why does space hate me so much?” Yeah Glimmer, as I’ve said before, your powers don’t work in space because otherwise things would be way too easy and this show would be over way too quickly.

- “So, your plan is to, what? Ram through an armada of ships?” “No! ...Maybe!” 😂 I love Adora.

- The way Catra’s hands are shaking when she tells Adora they’re going to get caught... oh, baby 😢. And how Adora suddenly looks so worried... gosh, these two.

- Catra and Adora playfully arguing over whether or not Catra ‘defeated’ them in the past is so cute. I love this kind of ‘former enemies’ bickering and it’s why I was so glad they didn’t wait until the very end of the show to redeem Catra.

Bow: “Adora, Catra’s right.”

[Everyone’s eyes go wide.]

Bow: ... “That felt weird to say.”

😂 Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Bring on all the ‘former enemies’ bickering, please!

- So, is this just because Wrong Hordak’s “brains were scrambled”, as Bow put it, or do all the clones randomly blurt out that Horde Prime has a weakness whenever they hear someone ask about it? I’m going to assume it’s the former. Also, the way he keeps blurting out more and then denying that Krytis exists is super funny.

- I like how they set Krytis up before with Catra having visions of it back in Taking Control - still pretty convenient that just hearing the name lets her make the connection, but I’ll take it. (Is it meant to be some lingering effect of being connected to the hivemind that she’s having visions of it again now, or is it just her remembering what she saw before?)

- I love the detail that Darla’s information on Krytis is locked and they need administrator clearance to access it. Shows again that the First Ones aren’t that different from Horde Prime - they were also ashamed of their failure to conquer Krytis and tried to hide the information on it.

- “In- In- In- Incorrect. It is located nowhere, because it does not exist, because Lord Prime destroyed it.” I honestly think this line should be a meme. When you want to hide something from someone (but you know it does exist), just quote that exact line (kind of like “There is no war in Ba Sing Se”). I once said it to my sisters when they asked about certain fanfics I wrote as a teenager. (“Nope, they are located nowhere, because they do not exist, because Lord Prime destroyed them.”)

- Changes in the opening: Micah, Spinnerella, Scorpia and Mermista are now standing mind-controlled around the Heart of Etheria in the villains’ shot. They’re also all missing from the final heroes’ card. In that final shot, Perfuma and Sea-Hawk both look sad now, and Netossa looks angry.

- Catra touching her neck when she sees the spire on Krytis... 😢. I’m here for the angst, but I also just need Catra to get lots of love and comfort after everything she’s been through.

- Can we talk about how absolutely ADORABLE her space suit is, though? Bow is absolutely right to coo over those ears. And when she tries to take it off with her foot? And Adora laughs about it? And Catra smiles when she sees her laugh? ❤️❤️❤️

- Wrong Hordak still denying that Krytis exists while currently being on Krytis is absolutely hilarious to me. It reminds me of flat-earthers or anti-vaxxers, or people who try to deny Covid exists (while others are currently dying from Covid) - not that any of those are funny, of course. I just mean that wrong Hordak nicely demonstrates how ridiculous they can sound.

- Catra calling out the Best Friend Squad on how dumb their plan is and then reacting with “Honestly, what did I expect?” is absolutely iconic. They really were missing her as the team’s braincell all along.

- Bow and Glimmer teasing Catra about her “first mission”, Catra grumbling that she’s going to kill Adora’s friends, Adora responding with a really calm “Please don’t” - everything about this is perfect. 🤣

- Also, small detail, but I love how Catra has a hard time walking in her spacesuit because she’s not used to wearing shoes.

- The remaining rebels looking around the destroyed camp is really sad. Frosta immediately trapping Castaspella in ice and checking her neck is great, though. That’s what they should have been doing all along. Why didn’t they also check Shadow Weaver’s neck, though? I know she’s intimidating and all, but there was no way of knowing if she’s chipped.

- “How did the rebellion lose so many of our finest members and yet we’re still stuck with you?” Castaspella’s asking the real questions! I like how literally no one in the rebellion likes Shadow Weaver. (Though honestly, I’m also glad she’s not chipped. Imagine how hard fighting a chipped Shadow Weaver would have been.)

- “But if you try anything, I won’t hesitate to strike you down.” Castaspella said ‘I won’t hesitate, b*tch!’

- Every single part of Wrong Hordak’s existential crisis (and Entrapta’s handling of it) is absolutely hilarious. I’m not going to quote all of it here, but pretty much every line of it is comedy gold. My favourite moment is probably “It seems Wrong Hordak has begun to question the meaning of life” (and everyone’s annoyed expressions at his crying) 😂😂. (On a more serious note, though: As much as it’s played for laughs, Wrong Hordak turning his entire worldview around in such a short amount of time is also pretty epic.)

- Catra just cutting through that door - damn, she’s strong! And I love Adora’s blush! (Yeah, the door was probably just an illusion, but my point still stands. She’s at least strong enough that it doesn’t seem completely weird that she'd be able to just cut through a door like that.)

- “You have an arrow that turns into a magnifying glass? I can’t believe we were losing to you guys.” 🤣🤣 Catra realizing the people she was fighting are actually idiots will never not be funny.

- It goes hand in hand with Bow realizing Catra is actually a cute kitty with an adorable sneeze. Good stuff. And the way her tail gets fluffy when she insists she’s not cute? D’awww. (Bow saying “The angrier you get, the cuter you are” reminded me of that scene in Steven Universe where Peridot loses her limb-enhances at the beginning of her redemption arc and Steven calls her cute and “an angry little slice of pie”.)

- Castaspella’s cape getting stuck in tree branches and the like is pretty funny, ngl. This is why Edna Mode said “No capes”.

- Shadow Weaver saying that her gifts are “far subtler” than mind-control is very fitting. Her thing is manipulation, after all. She doesn’t need to control people’s minds when she can just manipulate them and raise them in a way that’ll make them do what she wants. It’s scarier than mind-control in a way because it’s far more realistic. Mind-control doesn’t exist in real life, but manipulative parents (or just manipulative people) who will mess someone up emotionally? Very realistic.

- I like that you can tell that something’s off about Entrapta’s voice this time if you pay attention to it.

- “Seriously? How have you guys stayed alive this long?” Yup, the people you were fighting are idiots and you’re the braincell of the team now, Catra.

- I love the creepy music when Entrapta tells them it’s the first time they’ve talked since the last floor.

- Also, I love how Catra’s first instinct is to just launch herself at Melog, even though you could tell she was terrified just a moment earlier.

- I really like the moment where Glimmer realizes there’s magic on Krytis, especially since she doesn’t have her other powers right now.

- Melog bonds with Catra because they have the same sneeze ❤️❤️

- “Are you... are you petting the thing that’s been trying to kill us?” I love this whole moment 😹. I also love how Adora is so protective of Catra and immediately yells “Get away from her!” when Melog seems to get angry.

Catra: “I’m sorry. I got angry. It’s something I’m working on.”

Adora [with sparkling eyes]: “Aww, you are?”

Catra: “Yes! Now can you please...” [deep breath] “Yes. I am.”

I love everything about this. Catra genuinely working on her anger issues, Adora being so touched about it (remember back in Taking Control where she wished that Catra would ‘at least try’?), Catra having to hold back her anger because she realized Melog responds to emotions - perfect. ❤️😂👍

- Catra is so sweet when she calms Melog down. And the moment where they form their bond is really nice.

- So, can Catra understand Melog because of their bond, or because they’re both cats? I’m assuming it’s because of their bond?

- Melog’s backstory is really sad. But Adora offering to take them to Etheria is a really sweet scene.

- I like the parallel between the Best Friend Squad realizing that magic is Horde Prime’s weakness (and that the only planet he ever failed to conquer had wild magic) and Shadow Weaver telling Castaspella that the First Ones weakened Etheria’s magic and they have to set it free.

- “Stop me if I try to take the power for myself.” I’m not sure how I feel about that line. I like how SPOP has very much written Shadow Weaver as ambiguous so far. She’s not a good or nice person by any means, but is she at least on the side of the good guys and really trying to help now or is she still only after her own selfish goals? I very much did not want Shadow Weaver to get any sort of redemption or forgiveness, and I’ve always interpreted her as still being power-hungry. So, I have mixed feelings about this line. I like that it canonically acknowledges that Shadow Weaver is still tempted by power and might actually try to take the magic for herself, but asking Castaspella to stop her if she tries makes her look more selfless and like she’s taking precautions against it. (But then again, could Castaspella even stop her if she tried? I’m pretty sure Shadow Weaver is the stronger one of the two. So, you could still read this as Shadow Weaver being a master manipulator and only saying this so Castaspella will feel more inclined to trust her and go along with her plan - while knowing full-well that she could easily defeat Castaspella if it ever actually came down to it.)

Glimmer: “So, just to make sure I get it - We’re going to go running through a Horde blockade while relying on the magic of a creature we just met?”

Catra: “That about sums it up, yes.”

You know what this means - Catra’s a part of the Squad now!

- “Punch it, Darla!” I still love that the ship’s name is Darla. Also, all of their expressions when they fly through the blockade should be a “draw the squad” meme.

- Catra holding Adora’s hand and getting embarassed about it ❤️❤️ (while Adora is dumb and doesn’t even notice).

- I did not expect us to get a Glitra cheek kiss this season, but I’m not complaining! Also, Catra complaining while Glimmer and Bow are hugging her is such a cat thing; I love it.

- “We made it. We’re home.” Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think this is actually the first episode this season that ends on a happy / hopeful note and not on some kind of cliffhanger. And I really like that. This is where the “space arc” of season 5 offically comes to and end and I’m glad it has its own little happy ending. (And as much as I like the final episodes of the season, the space arc is still probably my favourite half of it.)

I love this episode, mainly because of what it means for Catra. She’s finally happy, she saved the day, she’s bonding with Bow and Glimmer and constantly flirting with Adora, and she has an amazing therapy cat now! I loved all the bickering between her and the others and how she’s starting to open up to them. Also, Wrong Hordak was absolutely hilarious in this episode and I commend Entrapta for having the patience to deal with his existential crisis. This was a really nice way to wrap the space arc up and bring the Squad back to Etheria.

[Previous episode]   [Next episode]

[st-just]

📂 Please share your thoughts on the Chicago Wards period, the time skip was agonising for me.

(I got halfway into, like, an essay about my opinions on the timeskip and why I feel so much about all the wasted potential before noticing the ask meme folder).

Okay, so - I don’t actually read Weaver and Defiant’s relationship as parental as, like, 90% of the fandom. Because it’s just so much funner to imagine them as just utterly enabling each other’s sublimated megalomania whenever they’re able to start planning or working out contingencies for more than five minutes.

An incomplete list of things Dragon has had to firmly veto

-Uploading a virus to seize control of the American nuclear arsenal ‘just in case’ -Use all the criminal connections Weaver spends half her time making to pull off Coil’s plan but in Chicago, entirely so she can get out of all the busywork and PR and focus on the ‘important things’ -At least three different ways to dig up blackmail on Chicago’s PRT director, for the same reason. -Figure out a way to use that border war with China that (I think?) happened off screen as an excuse to start diverting the military budget towards building more dragoncraft. -Somehow convince Golem that he needs surgery so that they can wire him up with Defiant’s newest combat software while he’s under. (this one was mostly a joke. Probably).

But really, I just love the mental image of Dragon having that audio clip of Defiant yelling “Stop trying things!” at Skitter after she killed Alexandria and replaying it at the two of them, like, once a week.

[lovelytarou]

take my hand — kaminari denki

— denki takes great pleasure in listening to music on the playlist he made for the two of you. whenever there's music, he doesn't hesitate to ask you for a dance no matter how ridiculous you two looked.

pairing: kaminari denki x reader

tags: friends to lovers, slight soulmates au, just denki and reader goofing off

genre: fluff

word count: 1.0k

a/n: part 4/7 of the event!! i kinda had a hard time thinking abt this, i hope kaminari isn't too ooc here! also not proofread

being with kaminari denki is electrifying. no pun intended. 

life before you met him was somehow bland, boring and simply lifeless. he's this unstoppable force that burst itself into your life and there was nothing you could do to stop it. it's not like you wanted to, after all everything is fun ever since you met kaminari.

he liked dragging you into his many shenanigans that always gets you two into trouble and always ending up with aizawa glowering down on you two. he even threatened to call your parents at one point but kaminari managed to talk your way out of it. to this day, you still couldn't believe how you both got out of that mess.

he may not be the smartest of the bunch but he sure as hell knew how to make you happy. you swear sometimes you think he's your soulmate. sure, he's probably far from what you imagined what your soulmate would be like but you wouldn't have it any other way. 

he always greets you with a friendly and bright smile when you see each other in public. asks you how you are doing when he notices you alone by yourself and offering you his own company even if it means he's exchanging it for hanging out with his friends. he even introduced you to them and before you knew it, you're part of their rowdy gang that often gets themselves into trouble all the time. 

amidst the craziness and fast paced lifestyle that kaminari is living, sometimes he just likes to chill and hangout. he'd plug in his phone and play the playlist the two of you compiled that is composed of all of the bops that you both loved. most of them were memes but others are just seriously too good not to listen to again. 

“may i have this dance?” he asked in his worst british accent he can muster, hand thrust forward towards you who is currently sitting on the floor as you read a manga. 

“of course, my good sir.” it was like clockwork how you play along with his antics. standing up, you grabbed his hand as he helped you to your feet. 

at first you both swayed side to side softly, hands clasped as you stared at each other with unhidden emotions swirling and encasing both your eyes. then it ended with the two of you just jumping around in your room and singing into your hairbrushes to the top of your lungs. 

“TELL ME WHY!” you sang, hand reaching it to kaminari dramatically.

“AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A HEARTACHE!” kaminari supplied, matched with him kneeling on the floor with his other arm clutching his chest as with his eyes closed.

“TEEEELL ME WHY” 

“AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A MISTAAAAKE”

“TELL ME WHY I NEVER WANNA HEAR YOU SAY,” you both looked at each other before singing in unison, “I WANT IT THAT WAAAY”

your jam sessions (as kaminari called it) usually lasts up until midnight and it would end up with the both of you getting noise complaints as many people are already asleep at that time and aren't too happy to hear backstreet boys blasted in the middle of the night. after the loud singing or more like yelling, and jumping around in your room, you'd both pass out asleep and wake up late for your classes. 

this has been a routine for the two of you after a stressful week. he'd visit you at your dorm room, and you'd visit him at his. it's like you can both read each other's thoughts and have telepathic connection. kirishima had called it creepy one day, but you both told him that it's because you're soulmates that's why you understand each other too well. 

it was just a joke to you, but kaminari found himself blushing and stuttering, heart beating wildly whenever he's with you on his end. he liked to believe you are his soulmate, it makes him feel good saying it. 

one hellish week after an exam, kaminari immediately sensed that you'd beaten yourself up with the weeks prior to the dreadful day. he hasn't seen you since and you've been cramming, holing up yourself in your room to study without distractions. that includes him. now that exams are over, he took it upon himself to help his favorite person unwind and make them feel better. 

now here you were, at your favorite restaurant. kaminari can only look at you with a frown as you still haven't touched your food. you stared blankly at your food as you poked it with a fork, seemingly lifeless. you haven't spoken since the two of you got there. 

the restaurant was pretty quiet, save for the music playing in the speakers. that's when kaminari thought of a wicked idea. a mischievous smirk stretched across his face as he looked at you, nudging your foot with his own.

“what?” you mumbled, looking up from your food. 

“may i have the pleasure of dancing with you?” he had a silly smile on his face as he kneeled in front of you. you immediately looked around, afraid that people might took the wrong idea but none of them were looking in your way. 

“come on, i know how much you love this song.” he tempted, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“here? right now?” still unsure, your eyes roamed to and fro around the restaurant. it might be embarrassing but if he's gonna do it with you…

“alright. yes, you may have the honor of dancing with me, mr. kaminari.” you both bowed first before he took you to the center of the restaurant, hand on your waist and the other on your hand. 

you were still a bit hesitant to dance with him in a place like this but soon, you found yourself loosening and swaying along to the beat and before you realized, the two of you are lost in your own world. 

“you are crazy, denki.” you fondly murmured, so only he could hear. 

“for you? yeah, i am.” he coolly retorted, smirking down at you with a smug expression that earned an eye roll from you.

dancing with kaminari in a restaurant full of people ogling the two of you weirdly isn't what you expected you would spend the end of your exams, but then again, with kaminari when did you expect things? he has always proved himself to be full of surprises.

general taglist: @chibishae34 @heyheysey @bukojuiice

[straighttohellbuddy]

📓 !!

Okay im so excited please know I think about How The Light Gets In's world every day still, and so anyways here is a side story I want to write but there's a lot of set up regarding the reader and eef becoming friends again. For context, they were incredibly close around 2014-2017, but people were getting creepy and invasive and demanding about their friendship (think 2012 toxic side of the Phandom, if that makes sense), and a lot of the reader's relationships were strained at that time because while they had been successful before, they were absolutely blowing up after their first album released and they became far more mainstream. They felt like they were bothering the people they had become closest to, both because they're worried that they're a bother, and because gossip rags and paps would harrass their friends looking for a scoop, and so they ended up just completely cutting off contact without warning one day right before they went on their first tour. the start of HTLGI is about 3 years since they'd been in proper contact with any of the creators they were close to at that time.

DON'T LOOK AT ME on their 2017 ep Hyperfocus was a more general song in response to everything that had been happening in their life around that time, with a focus on how they stop associating with anyone for a while, without outright addressing it, but on their latest album n o s t a l g i a, read at 5am ft. Troye was specifically written at the start of quarantine, when the reader was getting back into YouTube, about their feelings regarding how their friendship with ethan ended, as they spent a lot of this time looking back of their YouTube career, and he was the person they were closest to for a very long time, before they iced everyone out.

OKAY SO THERES MORE OF THE BACKGROUND OF THE WHOLE FIC AND THE READER BUT

Werewolf Ethan & Mark. I'm sorry I don't make the rules. They have golden retriever energy you cannot change my mind. But also because this is the HTLGI you know that supernatural characteristics are able to be activated rather than just triggered by the full moon. What I'm trying to say is since this is set in the year of Unus Annus, they film a video together that's like, you know that show where a person has to try and outwit a professional tracker? Except its the reader being tracked by two werewolves at night in a national park. Reader is wearing some sort of night vision camera on themselves so whenever it cuts to them the audience can't actually see how they're using their powers, if that makes sense.

Also the reader agreed to this knowing it would probably be when they ended up telling Mark and Ethan about them being a demon.

Video is titled Hunting Down An Old Friend

A few Moments that the boys edit out:

The reader using their stupidly sharp prehensile tail to swing from tree branches, though they leave in shots where the reader's tail can't be seen.

Knowing that with the werewolves having advanced hearing, the reader would give themselves away by talking to the camera, they take a few minutes having flown up to a high tree branch, to pull out a notebook and do a little sketch of how Mark and Ethan appear in their Demon True Sight, and holding it up to their camera.

Werewolves being one of the animals who can kind of sense demons without being able to identify them, essentially like dogs can sense natural disasters and are often good judges of character, this can be heightened on command for werewolves. There's about 15 minutes of footage cut out of the boys discussing or mentioning how this place has awful vibes and that they should have done this during the day. It gets worse as they get closer to the reader, who didn't realise that the boys hadn't thought to ever use that particular power around them before.

("I say this with so much love and appreciation for you, dude," Ethan yells, looking up at you from the base of the tree they'd finally found you in, "but I- this is making me anxious I feel like something terrible's gonna happen, and we should probably get out of here and film the rest of the video back at Mark's." And behind him, Mark's nodding, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, eyes scanning the trees for whatever was most likely the cause of this terrible impending doom.

Oh. It's you. And they don't know its you.

Now or never, you suppose.

"Can you cut the cameras for a second? You're going to be fine I promise," you called back, and though they obligingly did, they both seemed antsy. You cleared your throat awkwardly, "that... that terrible feeling, that's not the park or anything in it- well I mean, it is, but it's just- it's me."

and later

"Dude your wings smell like rotten eggs."

"To YOU Ethan! And no they don't!"

"If it makes you feel better they smell like burning and rotten eggs."

"It does not."

(for reference, when enhancing their sense of smell werewolves can kind of distinguish various supernatural creatures, or parts of supernatural creatures. Some creatures have an inherent scent, but some, like angels and demons, only have distinct scents when they've activated certain attributesor abilities; demon wings smell like fire and brimstone, which unfortunately means burning and rotten eggs. I like to think angels wings are like the love potion in Harry Potter that smells like the things you love the most. Mark and Ethan usually don't enhance it around each other because they smell like wet dog to the other)

This gets about 2k notes on tumblr. The reader likes it:

Ethan finally finding Y/N at the end of Hunting Down An Old Friend (2020) Colourised.

Other things to note regarding all this:

It takes a while to rebuild their friendship to the point where they're comfortable enough to be on camera together (eef and reader specifically).

However, the Unus Annus video is the first thing they properly do together, and the reader, in an effort to connect more and make up for the past, will join in multiplayer gaming streams if asked.

Impromptu duet in proximity Among Us of Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy, which has their respective chats and fandoms losing their minds, except it stops abruptly after the first chorus as they both remember the opening lines of the second verse (make it easy, say I never mattered -- those lyrics hit a little too close to home)

But also the reader convinces him to join him for a proper cover in like, February of 2021, and it's something deeply sappy (I'm thinking Bon Iver by mxmtoon because I think its sweet and fits them well)

Also Ethan being reminded that the reader is kind of a much bigger deal than when they'd been friends before.

designed to hurt (touch me) from their ep Working On It is nominated for a Grammy for Track of the Year, and n o s t a l g i a wins Best Pop Album (because it's my fic and I said so)

FIRST OF ALL designed to hurt (touch me) is a beautifully produced song about Corpse (which people do not know) and the title itself is literally making fun of something he said IMAGINE his reaction to it being Grammy Nominated 😂😂😂 God he'd be proud but lowkey fuming, meanwhile the moment the nominations are announced the reader tweets:

me: here is an album where I processed my entire world view including heartfelt explorations of the trauma of existing and oversharing in the public eye from a young age without the traditional barrier between audience and entertainer

the grammys: that's cute BUT you know the song you wrote to bully your boyfriend and also be horny on main for him before you guys were even dating? THAT deserves its own recognition.

meanwhile Ethan's like..... this is the same person who I filmed a video with playing cards against humanity, and you laughed so hard you almost threw up. I am very proud but deeply confused.

The Hot Meme of Late April 2021 is "2 time Grammy Award Winning Artist Y/N" with a gif, still, or quote from the reader where they're just being an absolute chaos gremlin.

Of course we have "If I bleached my asshole for charity I'd do it tastefully."

2 Time Grammy Award Winning Artist Y/N speaking to their actual boyfriend in the year of our lord 2020: You are being executed for Clown Crimes.

ethan posts a short video to twitter simply of his screen where he's renaming a folder from "Never Before Seen Images of Grammy Award Winning Artist Y/N" simply changing it to 2 time Artist. The reader responds specifically to his tweet with a video of themselves asking Google how to hard reset someone else's computer.

So many screenshots from old videos surface that week.

I miss this world. Sorry this is rambly!!

[ivyglow]

Hello. I just binge read your nolpat tag and it has me feeling some type of way. BUT. I saw the one about the baby not calming down until they hear Nolan's voice. And I raise you:

Nolan having to record a whole bunch of stuff for baby for the next roadtrip. I'm talking full on recording himself reading EVERY book in that kids room.

In full hockey gear. So it can be like Daddy is reading the bedtime story during intermissions (Even though he is actually getting yelled at for not shooting the puck).

And Nolan prerecording lectures with baby Patty for when they are acting up about bath time or vegetables or what have you.

And these recordings getting more and more wild. Like. He is doing them after practice when he is all sweaty to imitate game day and he is talking into his phone about how important a good sleep schedule is and the team ERRUPTS.

TK gets upset he wasn't asked to read baby Patty a bedtime story so he comes in the next day with his kids favorite books and records them in his gear. Maybe makes Nolan make the videos for TK's kids (Casue this team is a team of Intergenerational Besties).

And then Hayes goes all out on the vegetables. "Eat your carrots baby Patty or else you can't be orange and be a flyer." "Broccoli is important for shiny and healthy hair growth". And in the videos he is stuffing his face of whatever vegetable he is eating.

So it becomes this network of prerecorded lectures and bed time stories the guys pass around for theirs and everyone elses kids. And the kids go crazy for them.

And start even making requests. Like "Ghost is better at bedtime stories because he does better voices". And Jakey has to do bathtime lectures for all the kids because his hair is the shiniest.

And Captain Claude is all about listenting to your other parent because that's the good and noble and whatever thing to do. And you need those traits to be a captain.

Maybe Hartsy really wants to help but doesn't know how. So he tries to talk about mental toughness (to CHILDREN) and how it will help with their dad's not being there. And the team just stops the recording. He is then designated to how to something like keeping your room Net clean.

Anyway. Sorry to word vomit in your askbox. Just got inspired and wanted to share.

NONNY- THIS IDEA IS BRILLIANT IM- *insert here that meme “your mind ugh amazes me”.

I can totally picture the team doing it, and even better how the kids would love it! Can you imagine they even get gritty to film something about idk doing homework/staying quiet (although we know how chaotic gritty is lol)? But baby patty would LOVE IT. Whenever daddy was traveling they would only fall asleep with the videos/voice records playing and you would watch them loving the connection nols was able to build with them even from afar *sobs gently*

[sunshinetoshi]

Who do you ship your moots with?

AHH okay i was planning to eventually make this even if no one asked HAHA so tysm cause who knows when that would've come out lol

this got LONG so they will be under the cut <33

also i did the moots i more regularly interact with/have gotten pretty close with. i have more moots that i haven’t gotten to know too well yet bc i’m shy pls but reach out if you want heheh <33

okay i know yall have your faves but i wanted to go for slightly unexpected ones that i can also see (it might sound like i’m talking out of my butt but i swear i’m not akjsdf i spent more hours on this than i’d care to admit. so at most i am ✨r e a c h i n g✨ HAHA)

@daichis-kitty daichi ofc but.. TANAKA. i know you love tanakiyo buuuttt i think tanaka could make you laugh so much (sometimes most times unintentionally and he would be so heart eyes whenever he does) and the thought of you two on the dancefloor makes me so hype HAHA. and those late nights or early mornings he’d be so gentle and soft and romantic (he feels like a physical touch love language guy) and he’d be so supportive of you no matter what

@luvbub akaashi ofc but.. IWAIZUMI. very caring and romantic bf (who would make sure you DON’T sleep next to a pair of scissors). and i think he fits cause he can have some banter with you and you’d make him laugh and get flustered AND i pictured you and him wearing matching crocheted bucket hats and now i will not be swayed otherwise. i think the aesthetics and vibes match (and if anyone can help your wallet relax it’d be iwa trying to scold you that you have enough yarn oh who am i kidding. in fact he’d enable it sometimes bc he thinks you deserve the world)

@love-oikawa oikawa ofc but.. SAKUSA. i feel like sakusa is a really big romantic and you give me that deep love kind of vibe and the two of you together would be so heart eyes wow. like it’d be so?? dreamy. yes. dreamy indeed. he is very sweet with flowers, letters with cute poems he’s come across, and little trips you’ve always wanted to go on but he also would love a quiet comfy day in bed with you.

@kuroos-simp kuroo ofc but.. MATTSUN. i feel like the vibes match bc he’s not a super loud guy but he can get deep in chaos at the same time. would have you in that belly-ache laughter. lots of lighthearted teasing. i think issei also likes late nights in just the two of you. also picture mattsun blasting one direction with you. would be a big fan. that big ol tree just head banging to no control or something HAHA. this is also looks-wise i think it’d be cute!!

@lilshortcakess osamu (i think?? i think i saw on your blog once that he’s one of your faves. lol what if i said chan HAHA) okay okay osamu ofc but.. SEMI. okay shared love for music. constant humming songs with the two of you it’d be so cute omg. also he loves how soft your aesthetics are?? OH you could totally get him to watch rom-coms (he’d be a lil snarky at first but he falls in love with them heheh)

@gg9183 konoha ofc but.. KITA. both of you give off such pretty and soft aesthetics BUT there’s so much more to you two. like that aquarium post of yours when you said kita would ABSOLUTELY mess with you. mhm. i think you get kita more than other people do and that would show in a relationship. he’d actually be very teasing and making you crack up and other people are surprised but you’ve always known. but he also takes SUCH good care of you. hubby material.

@theuntamedmulti aone ofc but.. ASAHI. another gentle giant HAHA. but this one was kinda specific okay i remember that one time you were talking about dressing kinda edgy and recently i saw a post about asahi getting piercings to look cooler. so yall would dress edgy and look immaculate and maybe slightly intimidating but the kicker is that you two have these hearts of gold and it’s amazing. we love to see it.

@daichidaichidaichi daichi + ushi ofc but.. TERUSHIMA. okay i’m pretty sure i’ve told you that look-wise i ship you with teru but if i havent then now you know asjdf. but i also think you two would have good back and forth but he’d never try to push your buttons like most people would think. no, he’s too soft for you. wants to treat you like a princess. i also think you both are bubbly and like to joke around (also lots of flirting lol)

@targaryens-blog tendou ofc but.. ATSUMU. you have a very kind heart and i feel like you’re the type to understand others in ways most people don’t care to try and do so i feel like the way you would connect with atsumu would be something he has hardly experienced and it can be really special. he is very much a sweetie and i think you two would be very supportive of each other even if it seems like you two have different interests. lots of laughter!!

@sunalma suna ofc but.. TSUKKI. HOLD ON HEAR ME OUT. i think it’d actually be a more chill relationship than you’d think. bc you two are more alike there’s a connection where you two just move in sync. also he’d love all your music recs and in a way you’d chill him out and get him to laugh more and i think that’s sweet (also i think yall would be good together looks-wise too ooo)

@starlightte osamu ofc but.. FUTAKUCHI. OKAY. I FEEL KNOW YOU WON’T AGREE. BUT THIS IS JUST FOR FUN BAHAHA. first off he might not be your type idk but he’s a very pretty tall boy and i think look-wise it could look cute. second your personalities could be nice together - it would be a very teasing and flirty relationship but he also knows when to get serious and take responsibility so it would be fun but mature. small bickering might be frequent but they don’t hold actual weight. he will go to the ends of the earth to make you happy.

@mochi-marie asahi ofc but.. YAMAGUCHI. just two absolute sweethearts being together. i really like the idea of you being a little more teasing compared to tadashi and he’d get flustered but you’d also get him to get more comfortable over time. BUT ALSO yams can get kinda chaotic sometimes (when he would subtly join in hinata’s antics lol) so yall would have a blast together and end up cackling together.

@shoyotime akaashi ofc but.. ENNOSHITA. okay you might be thinking HUH. BUT i think in a similar way that akaashi can draw in some of your chaos and keep you on track with a task ennoshita can do the same. BUT ALSO i feel like ennoshita has a chaotic side (like how daichi also has a kinda chaotic side) so it’s not like you two would be complete opposites. if anything he’d let himself be a little looser around you bc he’s more comfortable. and it’d be one of those things where you and his friends could be doing the same thing but he’d only yell at them bc when you do it it’s actually funny or something like that (lol basically he’s a simp).

@tsukkisfatsimp iwaizumi ofc but.. MAKKI. i can just imagine all the memes you two would send one another. and sometimes when you two speak it makes no sense to anyone else but there the two of you are laughing your butts off. but also he’s a v sweet bf and wants to give many many cuddles and smooches. so pls give em to him.