#imagine alec telling magnus about it later

[lislgtwd]

just to understand: am i the only person on earth who would love for the scene (which was fairly deleted) of jace kissing alec to prove that he was never in love with him to be in the final version of cog??

imagine jace brooding over the disappointment of being rejected by his parabatai for the rest of his life and tell me if that wouldn't be hilarious

[lawsofchaos1]

Shadowhunter Promptlet: The Piano

A young Alec, overwhelmed by everything Maryse and Robert have dropped himself into his lap, runs away from the Institute- just for a few hours- to see what it would be like to be a mundane child. To see what it would be like to live with no responsibility, without parents who leave their bruises on his skin.

Somehow, Alec accidentally finds himself in a piano lesson with a bunch of other children and he discovers music.

Having learned the basics, Alec knows better than to ever reveal it to anyone at the Institute. But, over the years, he sneaks away a few careful hours at a time. He finds public pianos in the parks or he slips into unlocked middle schools, or, later, unlocked high schools or colleges, blending in and sneaking into their practice rooms to bring the music in his head to life.

Alec never tells anyone, not even Jace, about his escape. Jace has always been different and just because it's okay for him to play music, doesn't mean it's okay for Alec.

One day, Magnus and Alec are visiting one of Magnus' warlock friends and Alec, with permission, goes to explore a few nearby rooms while Magnus and his friend catch up. He doesn't dare even sit down on the bench when he finds the piano, but he knows that this room is too far for them to hear, so he plays.

Magnus walks in without Alec noticing at first, but when Alec catches movement out of the corner of his eye and turns, he's frozen.

[Teenage HOTI-Alec with his mundane accidental-piano-friends below the cut]

Imagine a fifteen-year old Alexander Lightwood, overwhelmed from his recent installation as Acting Head, sneaking into the local high school band room to practice on their piano. Imagine Alec meeting this group of kids who basically adopt him and keep claiming him as their brother/visiting cousin/best friend from another high school whenever anyone else pops into the practice room and asks who this random kid is who definitely doesn't go here.

The tattoos and leather jacket make Alec incredibly popular with the teen girls going after the bad boy and Ryan, Haley, and Alison find Alec's total and utter obliviousness to them absolutely hilarious.

But, the little trio also sees his constant injuries and how exhausted he is all the time and one day Haley kind of snaps and pulls a fuzzy blanket out of her backpack and demands Alec take a nap while she practices Braham's lullaby.

(Alec acquiesces and the trio subtly collates a list of the songs that Alec will sleep through while they play. A few times here and there Alec will creep into the practice room, shadows both in and under his eyes, and he won't even try to put fingers to piano- just tentatively pulls out the blanket from Haley's backpack that is now undeniably his and curls up in the corner to sleep fitfully while Ryan guards the door.)

They see how lonely he looks sometimes, how burdened, and the trio drags him out for milkshakes and tell horrible jokes until Alec truly laughs - looking honestly surprised that that sound even came out of his mouth.

And Ryan doesn't make a big deal of it, but he sees how Alec keeps stroking his Haley's blanket between his fingers, enjoying the softness. The next day, Ryan starts keeping a large black hoodie he found made out of the softest material he's ever felt in his tuba case, waiting for the next time they walk into what has become their practice room after school to find Alec lurking in the corner.

(Ten years later, Alec still wears that sweater whenever he needs some extra comfort.)

The night after the wedding-that-wasn't and before Malec's first date, Alec climbs up the fire escape to the 34th floor of and apartment building in Queens and knocks on Haley's window. He then proceeds to have a Gay Panic on her and Alison's couch before they calm him down and convince him to go woo his man.

A year after that, Alec is a groomsman at Ryan’s wedding and Ryan is suddenly stuck trying to explain to his wife why they have a lovely package of custom daggers as a wedding present.

A few months after Magnus finds Alec hardly daring to touch his friend's piano, Haley, Ryan, and Alison are invited to the loft for dinner. Magnus can barely contain the joy and love in his heart as Alec and the trio recount the stories of their meeting and the blatant shenanigans they got up to over the years. Yet, Magnus' heart is somehow even more full as he watches the four friends troop over to the newly installed piano in Alec and Magnus' living room, trading off playing each other's favorite songs until long into the night.

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

Sacred New Beginnings

Anon requested “Alec moving in with Magnus and how it happened (Post COHF)”

I had initially copied the fic into the ask and saved it as a draft, but tumblr being tumblr somehow made that disappear, so here we go again. Link to Ao3 in the title.

*****

It’d been a week since the New Year’s ball dropped in Times Square.

Alec didn’t really know what that meant. Was there a literal ball dropped at Times Square? Anyways, Clary had told Jace about it, and Jace had pretty much integrated it into his vocabulary, and it was now rubbing off on Alec. It was kind of annoying.

They didn’t really do much to celebrate the New Year, since Clary and Isabelle - and even Jace though he wouldn’t admit it, were carrying the hole of Simon’s loss.

Alec… Alec wasn’t sure what he was feeling about it. He was obviously grateful to Simon - Simon had sacrificed himself so that Magnus could come home, after all. But underneath it all, there was a sense of guilt. A strange feeling of helplessness. He should’ve been able to save Magnus. He should’ve done something to save Simon.

There was no point dwelling on it, however. All he could do was move forward.

He and Magnus were slowly working on building their relationship back up.

They talked on the phone everyday - Alec had always been awkward with phone calls. When you were talking to someone face to face, and there was a silence, it wasn’t awkward because other gestures would fill the gap. When you’re on the phone, however, there’s always an expectation to keep talking. 

But it was different with Magnus. Magnus always called him at the oddest moments - when he was making potions, or taking a stroll somewhere. One time he called from the shower and Alec had almost dropped his phone.

They also went on a few dates, half of which were spent at Magnus’s home. It was a strange feeling, being there again - it was all so familiar and so alien all at once. Like returning home from a long vacation.

Today, Alec decided to drop by after a long patrol for a shower, and just to spend some time with Magnus. 

Magnus was thankfully still awake - Alec had given him a quick call beforehand since it was late, and since he didn’t have his key back yet. Alec still found himself reaching for his pocket for the key, sometimes. He didn’t know when Magnus would give it to him, and he didn’t know how to ask, either.

Later, Magnus was lying on his side, watching as Alec had stepped out of the bathroom, having already changed into a loose fitting t-shirt and sweatpants. There was something shimmering deep under the surface of Magnus’s eyes.

There were lots of times when Alec saw a faraway look on Magnus’s face, or just any look that he didn’t know how to decipher, and let it go. Now, though, they were trying to change things.

So, he knelt down next to the bed, tilting his head so he could meet Magnus’s eyes, and asked, “What are you thinking about?”

Magnus’s eyes slid down to his shirt - he reached out with a slender finger, tracing it down Alec’s front. “You changed inside the bathroom,” he pouted. “I wanted to see your abs.”

Alec chuckled. He leaned in closer, folding his arms on top of the bedspread and resting his chin on them.

“What are you really thinking of?”

Magnus blinked slowly, languidly, as if he was drunk. Alec wondered if he actually was.

He rose slowly, balancing himself on one elbow. His other arm was stretched out, fingers brushing along the side of Alec’s face, curling in the wet locks of his hair.

”I’m thinking,” his voice was slurry. “I want you to bring us both a cup of coffee each, then you tell me about your day and I’ll tell you about mine, and then we can fall asleep together.”

Alec’s eyes fell half shut as he imagined the picture Magnus was painting. That was how most of their nights ended before… before…

He caught Magnus’s hand - the one fiddling with his hair - and pressed it against his damp cheek.

Magnus’s hand was cool, but Alec felt warm all over.

”Are you drunk?” Alec asked.

A sudden bright flash of a grin appeared on Magnus’s face. “On you, baby.”

Alec laughed. “Magnus!”

Magnus was laughing along, eyes crinkling. Alec sometimes had images in his mind, of those crinkly lines permanently etched onto Magnus’s face.

He would never see that sight. But it was alright.

Magnus was now sitting upright, legs dangling over the side of the bed. His hands were both on Alec’s face, holding it in place as he planted an infinitely tender kiss on his forehead.

“I miss you,” he whispered with a sigh.

”I’m right here,” Alec said.

”You are now,” Magnus sighed again.

Alec leant back a little, just enough to look into Magnus’s eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Magnus’s eyes were serious, lips parted slightly as if something heavy rested on the tip of his tongue.

”Magnus?” Alec asked gently.

Magnus shook his head, his hand caressing Alec’s face.

”Alexander?” He said gently. Alec shivered. He’d spent weeks thinking he’d never get to hear his name spoken like that again.

”Hm?”

”What do you think about… you know…”

”About what?”

Magnus hesitated a moment. “About living here again.”

Oh.

Suddenly, Magnus’s behavior all made sense.

Alec’s heart skipped several beats at once.

He wanted to say yes immediately. He wanted to say that he’d always thought of this place as home.

But the truth was that he’d spent weeks trying to forget home. He’d realised the hard way that even when you found home, it was always a place that could be ripped away from him.

Alec must’ve been silent too long, because Magnus lowered his head and said, “I can’t understand if you don’t want to-“

”No!” Alec hurried to say. “No, I- I want to. It’s just…” Alec bit his lip. “I thought we were supposed to take things slow?”

Magnus looked relieved for a second, and then pouted and sighed exaggeratedly.

”Alexanderrrr,” he whined, throwing his arms around Alec and burying his face in Alec’s neck. “Fuck taking things slow! I miss you. I miss waking up next to you and I miss showering with you and eating with you. Chairman misses you. The coffee machine hasn’t seen any action in two months and neither have these sheets and I just-“

Alec laughed, his own arms now twining around Magnus’s neck and pulling him in closer.

”Alright, alright,” he said. “Just give me a few days to sort out things at the Institute and then I’ll move in, okay?”

”Okay,” Magnus agreed with a sigh, his breath warm against Alec’s skin. “I’m glad.”

”Me too,” Alec said, relaxed at last.

Finally, he had returned home.

[i-have-not-slept]

Malectober Day 31: Golden

“Aren’t you going to tell me where we’re going?” Alec asked.

Magnus looked up from the Portal currently forming in front of him, blinking through the sparks. “It’s a surprise.” A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Don’t you trust me?”

Alec smiled back. “Of course I do.”

“Good.” Magnus said. He held out a hand to Alec. “Come on. I’ll explain everything later.”

Alec took his hand and followed him through the Portal, trusting Magnus to guide them both to their destination.

They emerged onto a cobbled street in bright sunlight. Alec looked around, blinking, at the whitewashed houses, red tiled roofs and rocky brown mountains rising in the distance. The air was warm and smelled like baking bread and spices.

Alec glanced over with Magnus, who was looking at him with a small smile. “Where are we?”

“Peru.” Magnus said cheerfully.

Alec put his hands on his hips, frowning at Magnus severely. “I thought you were banned from Peru. Catarina and Ragnor are always talking about it.” He gave Magnus a suspicious look. “Are we going to have to run from the police again?”

Magnus put on an injured expression. “I resent the implication that I’m constantly dragging you into law-breaking shenanigans. I obtained special permission from the High Council of Peruvian warlocks to enter the country for an afternoon.”

“And they just gave you permission?” Alec said dubiously. “Just like that?”

“Well,” Magnus said slowly. “I may have mentioned that my husband happens to be the Consul of the Shadowhunters and he might not be entirely happy to hear that my request was denied.”

Alec burst out laughing and stepped closer to Magnus, wrapping his arms around him. Magnus leaned into him, nuzzling Alec’s cheek.

“I love you.” Alec murmured against Magnus’s ear. “But you’ve really got to stop using me as a political weapon to get what you want.”

“I’ll stop one day.” Magnus said happily. He kissed Alec’s cheek. “Now, Jace and Clary are watching the boys for the afternoon, so we can stay here until sunset. Come on.” He grabbed Alec’s hand and set off down the street, pulling Alec with him.

“Hey, wait.” Alec said, laughing. “Aren’t you going to tell me why we’re here?”

Was it his imagination, or did Magnus look slightly uncertain? “I’ll tell you later.” he said, squeezing Alec’s hand. “Promise.”

Smiling, Alec shook his head and let Magnus lead him towards the town square. He could put up with a little strangeness if it made Magnus happy.

Hours later, the sun was beginning to dip towards the horizon, and Alec still wasn’t sure why Magnus had brought them here. He wasn’t complaining, though, because every minute together had been wonderful. The town was peaceful, with small, brightly coloured houses and an old cathedral built of white stone that shone in the sunlight. They’d spent hours wandering through the streets, eating food from the roadside vendors, poking into cafés, museums, bookshops.

It was the sort of thing they didn’t get to do very often, time spent outside of home with no sense of urgency or responsibility, no mission to complete and no kids to watch. In Alec’s opinion, there was nothing better than doing nothing with Magnus.

The whole time, Alec had been able to tell Magnus was waiting to tell him something. As they wandered through the markets, Magnus kept giving him little sideways glances, and looking as if he was about to speak before changing his mind. Once it would have worried Alec, but not now. He knew Magnus would tell him when he was ready.

Now, as afternoon flowed into evening, they were hiking up a rocky hill overlooking the town. The path wound upwards through rugged scrubland, glowing gold in the light of the setting sun. Magnus was a few metres ahead of Alec, and he kept looking back at him with a little smile. Alec could tell he was building up to something, but he didn’t say anything, content with the gentle silence between them.

Finally they reached the top of the hill. They were on a flat, rocky plain overlooking the valley and the town below. The light spilled down the hillsides and flowed across the buildings like molten gold.

Magnus turned and looked over at Alec. His face was washed in golden light, making him seem to glow from within. Alec’s heart stuttered briefly in his chest at the sight of him.

“Okay.” Alec said. “Why did you bring me here? I know there’s some kind of reason.”

For the second time that day, Magnus looked hesitant, even a little apprehensive. He stepped closer to Alec, taking his hand and clasping it within both of his. Alec put his other hand over Magnus’. He could tell his husband was working up to some kind of confession.

“Why I brought you here.” Magnus murmured. He had his eyes fixed on their joined hands, like he was half-scared to meet Alec’s eyes. He took a deep breath. “Do you know what this town is called?”

“No.” Alec murmured. He rubbed his thumb over Magnus’s knuckles, feeling the warmth of his skin.

“It’s called Moquega.” Magnus said softly.

“Oh.” Alec said. The name sounded familiar. He thought he might have read it in the notebook of stories Magnus had given him years ago, when they’d got back together after their breakup. “Have you been here before?”

“Once.” Magnus said. He looked up at Alec suddenly, and his expression was more open, more vulnerable than Alec had hardly ever seen it. “Moquegua means “quiet place” in Quechua.” he said haltingly. “When I first came here, I— I didn’t feel comfortable or safe, because I felt— I felt like there was no quiet place in the world for me, and there never would be.”

He dropped his gaze again, gripping Alec’s hand tighter “And I felt like that for a long time. Like I always had to keep moving, and never rest anywhere. But then when I met you— you made me feel anchored. Peaceful.”

He looked up again, and Alec saw that there were tears brimming in his eyes. “I wanted to bring you here to tell you. I’ve never told you before and I wanted to tell you. You’re my quiet place, Alec.”

Alec’s heart broke open, sending warm light flooding through his veins. He wrapped his arms around Magnus, holding him so close he could feel his heartbeat. Magnus put his head down on Alec’s shoulder, shaking in his arms.

“Thank you for telling me.” Alec. He blinked back tears of his own, overwhelmed by a sudden rush of emotions, gratitude and joy and love. “You’re so— you’re so wonderful. You’re everything. I love you, Magnus.”

Magnus gave a soft, teary laugh and pulled away from Alec to look at him. “I love you too.” he whispered, and then they were kissing. Alec cupped the back of Magnus’s neck, closing his eyes, feeling his entire body sing. They held each other close on the mountaintop, in the wash of golden light.

[khaleesiofalicante]

"Fun fact: Walt Disney first had the idea to open his own theme park after visiting Griffith Park in Los Angeles. Disneyland – which was originally called Mickey Mouse Park, at least during the planning stages – and officially opened to the public on July 17 , 1955 in Anaheim, California. Back then, a ticket cost $2.50!"

Hi Dani! I read your last fic and when I read the final footnote it made me laugh and I wanted to tell you an interesting fact about Argentina. I live in La Plata, a city neighboring Buenos Aires, much smaller and one of the most planned and organized cities in terms of its distribution. My city has a public theme park (which means it's free) called El País de los Niños (The Land of Children) (also called La Ciudad de Los Niños -The City of Children) and it has attractions like roller coasters, cultural centers, museums, small judicial systems with chambers of deputies in miniature so that children learn about the Argentine judicial system (there are also simpler games such as carousels or swings). But what I was going to tell you, based on your interesting fact at the bottom of the note, is that in Argentina since the 1950s there has been a rumor that this park was Walt Disney's inspiration to create Disneyland.

Although it could never be proven, the myth took hold. Some even risk that Disney participated in the inauguration that took place on November 26, 1951, when the work that had begun two years earlier and in which 1,600 workers participated was completed. They also say that Walt then met with President Juan Domingo Perón and proposed turning that small city, whose central idea was to teach children how the institutions of the Republic work, into an amusement park. Perón would have said no. Four years later, in Anaheim, California, the first Disneyland opened.

The historian Claudio Panella, a teacher and researcher specialized in Peronism at the National University of La Plata, assures that there is no concrete evidence that allows us to affirm that Walt Disney was inspired by the Republic to build his empire. “What can be pointed out, however, is that a myth has been created in this regard and, as such, it has firmly established itself in the popular imagination and continues to be transmitted from generation to generation,” he says.

And I thought your information was very funny because in the Latin fandom (among the Argentinians) we always played with the idea that Magnus went to see the inauguration of one of the first theme parks in the world with Ragnor, Catarina and Tessa and that years later he would take - along with Alec - his children to El País de los Niños and we always talked about how Rafe would absolutely love this park! Im even going to make a fic about this!

Annie storming into my askbox with fun facts and history lessons - you know the way to my heart huh??

I LOVED THIS. SO MUCH. THANK YOU.

First of all, I love the theme park. I love the name and I love that it's free and I looooooove that it gives space for children to learn about law and governance (how fucking cool is that??). I feel like Rafael would love this!!! (gonna make a note of this btw)

And ngl it is 100% possible that Disney took "inspiration" from this. White people love taking other people's cultures (and ideas!) and making their own 🤡

I definitely think Magnus would've been there. He loves traveling and he loves adventure!

You should totally write a fic about this!! Please do share it if you're okay with it 💙

[thepictureofsdr]

Imagine Alec finding Alastair's old ideas in buried clave documents and starts to build on the foundation if those ideas

*bonus points if Kit helps him bc he also found some of Alastair's old journals with good ideas and also maybe bc I'm obsessed with Alastair/Kit parallels-

THISIIIIISISI THIS THIS THIS

the time period would NEVER allow for what consul alastair would want but i know damn well hed have the battle plans laid out i can see thomas writing things down as alastair talks at the speed of light so clearly in my head. HEAR ME OUT theyre stored somewhere safe in the London Institute and one day kit is there for A Reason and he finds all these documents and theyre all signed a. carstairs so immediately kit is FASCINATED bc family but then he starts reading through them and theyre SO AHEAD OF THEIR TIME so he runs back home for an explanation. thats when tessa and jem explain who alastair is and what he did and what he wanted to do and kit feels so much solace knowing there was another carstairs a century ago who had a shitty dad and was raised with mundanes and was in love with a boy and wanted everyone to heal. THEYRESO :,)

and then kit brings them to alec and helps him sort through them and then magnus comes in with this sad smile telling stories about that idiot who got elected against his will, and hes sad to remember the loss but hes overjoyed that alastairs wishes are finally coming to fruition at the hands of another lightwood husband over 100 years later IM GONNA CRY THIS ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO CANON BUT :(

[moni26]

Chapter 3: Allies

Magnus started to dream.

He hadn't in decades, so it shook and unsettled him, but there was no other way to call the series of sensations and images coming upon him.

What used to be a thick slumber he had to fight through, mixed with moments of passive awareness and consciousness in Alexander's body, took a turn and reshaped. The points of slumber, of stillness, they changed. The vast, stagnant void of it, was no more. Gently, like the first ripple in a long-still lake, the dreams began to form before him. Images from Alexander's books and stories would manifest themselves in his imagination, through colours and feelings and details. Becoming more vivid, to the point where it didn't matter they were in his imagination alone, they were still affecting him.

Alexander would tell a story and Magnus would dream about it when he wasn't conscious. Dressing the Father's words in visuals, putting himself around the periphery of the story, or directly making himself a character in it. Experiencing bizarre wishes, bizarre likes, and even more bizarre aspirations. As though he was stupider in those dreams, as though he forgot himself.

Some of the dreams ran away with him to the point where they weren't even manifested by the Father's tales. Magnus's own imagination seemed to brew them with no help, now that it had the chance, and the doors to more were cracked right open. When Magnus was the culprit, his subconsciousness brought up less elaborate things.

The demon found himself dreaming of the sun. The sun that he disliked so much typically, the warm sensation of it, the shine on his skin during a good day.

On top of that, he helplessly drifted into dreams of cats, of parties, of New York City.

That was the worst of it by far, continuing to haunt him when he dreamt of eating, plates of food laid out, with different taste and texture. Of drinking, cool water that quenched a thirst he shouldn't have, then an exquisite cocktail with an olive on top, soothing his throat like a balm.

Magnus knew all of this was bad, but it didn't feel bad. Not compared to the emptiness. If he had to choose between the emptiness or the dreams, he liked the dreams somewhat better. In direct comparison they felt better, and wasn't that what all demons and dark souls had come to claim- it can't be bad if it feels good. If it feels better than what was before. Demons wouldn't fight something they enjoy, something they favor. They weren't like the mortals, shamed away from their desires. Nothing should be forbidden for Magnus, nothing should be too much and off limits, and yet this was dangerous because it was different. Was this how mortals felt when they were placed outside of their realm of familiarity?

Magnus should stop himself from wondering as if he cared. How could caring feel better than not caring? It couldn't.

He was only confused, that was all, this was confusing him. His clarity would return after he takes his revenge, it was pointless to expect differently at this moment. Later when he was free, he'll see this for what it really is, no more than an appalling prison.

By now he knew when he'll be passively awake, what would frequently bring him out if he had no ability to fight through it himself. He'll be awake either when his name was spoken, or when essence and body were in the same room. With him. Alexander.

The demon would hear more and more when Alec (and by extension Magnus himself) was with the vessel, he would feel more. He ought to use it when the time was near.

Alexander was too empathetic, his critical judgement compromised because of the tragedy with his brother. It seemed the priest saw a victim of possession, someone that could have been Jace, that's why he was so kind.

Hellspawns beyond, he was so kind. Too kind. Too good and too calm. A stark contrast to the uproars in Hell that Magnus came from, which he commonly resided in the middle of. Alexander was a lot of things that started with 'too' and ended in all possible manners. There was a quiet strength he held. There was softness behind the edges of his demeanor.

Magnus probably hated him, a bit differently than he hated everyone else. In a slightly altered way than he was used to hate overall.

Alexander's easiest weakness to be exploited would always be his Jace. Even from Jace's grave. Even from Hell, where Alexander knew he had ended up. Magnus roved through his own memories and recollections, and then through Alexander's, when he had small access, trying to determine where Jace had to have been thrown in. The demon attempted it as subtle and as imperceptible as possible, before he was thrown in the next dream.

----------

It was getting tiring to stay in one place by the altar, but Alec was more or less used to it when he was concentrated. His voice carried steadily in the hall, to all the people listening to today's lecture.

He had just delivered a message about self-forgiveness and ambition, two things he was struggling with himself, but that was for him to combat. As always, it was easier for him to engage with others through the ways of the Church. He couldn't remember the last time he went to hang out with people he liked that weren't in any way connected to the job or his past, having casual conversations. Instead, that's how he interacted with everyone. Through this.

Sometimes he thought of the demon in him and the remarks Alec had heard. That he was actually wrong to claim people have disappointed him, closing himself off, only using this to reach forward. But at the same time, he shouldn't listen to anything a demon was feeding him. Their only goal was to spread doubt and hurt, that's what they knew.

As some of the visitors and a couple other clergyman filtered out, exchanging warm greetings and gentle smiles, Alec gathered his notes, preparing for the private moments that would follow. The confessions. Walking toward the booth at the side of the hall, its wooden frame worn by years of use, the thick scent of incense mingled with candle wax. He opened the moderately creaking door and took his place in the chair of the confessional, a place that held countless stories of struggle and redemption.

The rest followed in more hushed tones.

''Father, I have no idea what to do,'' a woman began, her voice trembling slightly. ''My husband lives separately from me, with another woman, and I don't think he's coming back.''

''That must be really discouraging for you. Have you thought about divorcing him?''

''I have. But the Lord brought us together in holy matrimony. I keep thinking I've given vows till death, and it just scares me. People around me don't look too kindly on divorces, they say it's disrespectful to break the bonds set for us by Him. That it would be low of me, instead of trying to repair things.''

Alec offered some of his thoughts, ''The Lord sometimes gives us metaphors, which we can interpret looking into our feelings. Until death doesn't have to be a physical death of one of you. It could be the death of the relationship, the death of his feelings, or yours. In what you're describing, I gather that he was the one deciding to break the bond you had with his actions. It wasn't you.

''If he's living a life which has no place for you, if he's forgotten his own vows he gave you, and is actively disrespecting you and making you feel miserable, I think you're absolutely in your right to divorce him. The Lord wants you to be respected, and he wants you to be loved. Consider this when you decide what to do.'' He weighed a bit before he added, ''The people around you who may judge you, they don't really know what they'll do in your place. Because they are not in your place, you are.''

''Thank you, Father.''

A younger sounding woman was next.

''I've done enough I need forgiveness for, but I don't know where to start. I've failed myself. Not sure how to find my way back to my faith.''

''What makes you feel you've lost your way?'' Alec asked.

''Honestly,'' the woman's breath stuttered, ''it's more than one thing. But to top it all off, with the way I live my life, I've dated both genders. It's what pushed me the furthest away from this place.''

''But you're back.''

''Back and more humiliated than ever,'' the sad voice admitted. ''My parents are quite religious, they struggled a lot with me.''

''Some of those struggles were over what you confessed about your romantic interests, am I correct?''

''Yes. I've tried to change, I really have.''

He turned to the space between their sides of the booth, ''Would your parents expect you to change the colour of your eyes, if you were born with one they weren't prepared for?''

''Uh... no?''

''Did your parents expect you to change the colour of your natural hair when it started growing?''

The reply was just as hesitant when the woman denied that too.

Alec carried on, more kindly, ''Why do you think they didn't?''

''Because I... couldn't have, even if I wanted to.''

''There is your answer. Who you are attracted to is just as natural. Maybe not natural to your parents, but you are a separate person, with feelings and wishes of your own. If you need your parents to understand, tell them we are the Lord's creation. If they are indeed religious, they accept this and value his judgement. This is how he made you, because he never made anything only one way. No, he set some of our differences, to help us find ourselves independently. He knows there is a lot of contrast and divergence around us, he created it so. We only need to look past us to see it. You're not to be punished for something outside of your control.''

''But should I still act on it?''

''If it's reciprocated, you aren't hurting anyone if you do. Same sex marriage is legal here. I assume your parents acted on their feelings when they found each other. None of that is something for you to be excluded from. You aren't excluded from finding the same happiness your parents did, the same happiness that others find.''

''I wish that I could say it like that when I talk to them.''

''I understand,'' Alec nodded, ''Maybe you'll be more comfortable bringing them here, when I could say this to them.''

''Crap, imagine their faces when-'' a slap over the mouth raced over whatever the woman was going to throw in. ''Forgive my language, please! I haven't been to Church in a while.''

''It's forgiven. I would absolutely talk to them, if that is easier for you. In any case, don't hate the way the Lord created you. He loves you this way, as he loves everyone.'' A subtle shift in Alec's stance came, before he picked up, ''About something else you've said- if you no longer find peace going to Church, you can also consider why you do it. Because you want to, or because you have to.''

''Isn't this a case of: we all have to.''

Alec was pensive before saying, ''Just as there are different ways to pray, there are different ways to find calm and peace.''

At a later time, while the sun dipped low on the horizon and the people Alec heard and blessed retired to their homes, he closed the gates of the Church and turned the key. Blowing out some of the candles, his back leaned against the wall and his eyes closed, bringing out the cross from under his clothes and clamping his fingers over it. The reason it was always under the clothes and not above them, even though it would make all the sense for Alec to display it, make it visible for everyone given his position, was because it was different than the crosses priests often wore. It was much smaller, much more Alec's taste: basic, silver, and purified in holy water.

He just liked to keep it tucked away and closer to his heart, especially in times like these.

His introspection from before maintained, for whatever reason. He checked the man he looked after, inspected his IV and the fluids he received through it, then provided the body with a longer glance. Narrowing his eyes as the stare deepened, his eyes fixated on anything out of the ordinary.

Was he being crazy, Alec wondered when he blinked a few times and shook his head.

The flickering candlelight by the unresponsive man cast long shadows across the ancient stone walls. The scent of incense still hung in the air, as Alec was just leaving to his own private space and sanctuary.

Again, was he going crazy?

Was he going crazy or was there a certain feeling associated with this side room, because of the person in it. He walked out, but moved slower, deep in thought, only partly paying attention to what he was doing.

The Church stood silent under the moon's gaze.

Soon it was even later at night, Alec still away from the small bed he used, giving in to none of the claws of sleep.

Without warning, the ground shook. A low, guttural sound, like the growl of a wild beast, was coming from the outside. Finding one of the church windows and looking through, something stirred in the dark, an unnatural chill creeping up Alec's spine, making the hair on the back of his neck stand. A toxic presence was in the air.

First, out the window something met his gaze, another pair of eyes, making him jump away. His overwhelming sense of being watched, of being hunted by a predator, was sending alarm bells ring with a blaring intensity through his whole body.

Alexander?

His turmoil got him a sense of Magnus Bane, sleepy and muddled, so Alec held him at bay. For once this week Magnus Bane wasn't the lurking presence that set him into disturbance.

Afterward...

All Hell broke loose.

Silhouettes and shapes moved at the edges of the building, creeping closer, slithering over the gates. Pushing against the wards.

Demons.

Plural.

Lower class, must have been invoked and brought to action by power of an infernal being higher-up. Trying to get the doors to burst open. Pouring to push from one place, looking for a hole to weaken the defenses.

Reaching the only open window to the entrance and forcing it shut, Alec saw more distorted outlines in the night, twisted by darkness and rage. Claws scraped against the glass the second he secured its closing and pulled himself away. The diabolical creature's attempts unrelenting, hungry, searching.

Find it! It's in here! Find it! Mommy wants it!

Alec clamped his hands over his ears, trying to shield himself, fingers curling inwards. A sharp breath caught in his throat, and his chest rose and fell in quick shallow gasps, as if he couldn't get enough air. His eyes darted around the building, having perfect memory of where more weapons were hidden. Considering the chance of the Church not withstanding this attack.

Smell it! It's here! Take it for Mommy!

No, the building and its defenses had never dealt with such a swarm of demons at once, leaping to hit the pane, looking for a way in. Objects tumbled from their placements unprompted, blown out candles falling on the floor, and Alec was rushing into action.

Alexander.

Books tumbled from their shelves, this time with Alec's help as he ransacked to start the right incantation, cutting his other unscathed hand, requiring his blood like he had for the summoning once before. Like other times, the words were foreign just before they rolled down his tongue, turning well-known the second he used them. The switch was familiar by now, reminding him of his lineage better than anything else could.

You, one of the demons was hissing and snarling from the glass, You have it! You've hidden it! Not for you! Is for Mommy!

Alec felt the power of the incantation building within him. His voice, strong and resonant, cut through the oppressive atmosphere. Some of the dark shapes hissed and recoiled when he was battling back now. He used the power harvested in the soil when he spoke the words in his grandsire's language, the consecrated territory mixed with the sacred text he read from, meant to drive them away.

It chased off a good amount, but he was quickly becoming convinced that what he was doing wouldn't be enough against the overwhelming odds. They were too many to begin with, too many to fend off through this. He could force away about half, but then he still had the rest attacking him. Lower demons may be weaker individually, but this many could be fatal.

He crossed himself, moving his hand from the forehead to the chest and then from one shoulder to the other. Then he reached down to his legs, gathering the heavy black fabric of his robes, tearing it from both sides, one uneven line on the right and one on the left. Forcing the material to separate in order for Alec to move quickly and sufficiently. Needing the speed and mobility cloaked behind the ceremonial garb. For this part, only the warrior remained.

With his ripped apparel and its edges fluttering free, Alec reached for the inside of his boot. Taking out a small dart from it. Saying the words and watching it grow to a set of crossbow bolts in his hold, he hurtled towards the only other entry besides the main, a narrow back entrance which was visibly sealed. On the way, he got the crossbow, hidden in a compartment under loose floorboards, runes spread over the entirety of it. Barely catching his breath, he was running while the air itself seemed to howl in his pursuit.

The sealed back door was marked with a rune as well. Alec's bloody hand over it revealed a glamoured gap he could see and shoot from. Stopping things from getting in, but not stopping them from getting out, exactly what he needed. Like through a spell, the gap widened, helping him see outside.

With practiced precision, Alec dropped to one knee, his crossbow trained on the moving shadows. His heart pounded with adrenaline, but his hands remained steady.

The first demon, with scaled skin and fiery eyes, fell fast and neat. The second only displayed part of its clawed limbs before letting out a pained roar, pierced through the chest, disintegrating into the night dust. Alec's pointed projectile was cutting through the darkness, taking out creature after creature. With fluid movements, he lunged shot after shot. His body responding instantly, trained by years of demon hunting.

Alexander!

...

Hellspawns beyond, I didn’t know you had it in you.

...

I think you've got them. Take that, Lilith, you filthy little bitch!

...

Let me help.

...

Alexander!

''No,'' Alec pushed him away.

You could benefit from my help.

Magnus Bane had no reason to help him. He wanted him to die here.

Except we're still tied.

''How did you make Lilith send them?''

I didn't. Does this look like something I would want? We're tied, I have a vested interest in you surviving this particular encounter.

''Then why has she sent them? Why now?''

Stop this and listen to me. With my help, you'll kill them all. Let me.

''I'm not letting you in,'' Alec whispered coldly, narrowing his focus after recharging, releasing the following shots and finding his mark.

Not letting me in, only the strength I've got. It's there for you to use, I'll allow it to flow through you. I won't resist.

Alec inhaled deeply, filled with his misgivings about it. ''Why would you help me?''

Because I've despised Lilith longer than you've been alive. I have no issue seeing all her faithful offsprings burn. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, just this once. Let me kill them.

Alec digged for dishonesty, but exhaustion may start slowing him down and the wards were getting weaker. Besides, in that moment, Magnus's hate for Lilith felt true.

He only had to open his mind to it, before Magnus's strength began to channel into him, wrapping around them like an invisible force. Alec's body reacted almost instinctively, his muscles tensing and then relaxing as the power coursed through him.

In an instant, he was fully outside, standing tall, raising his head.

A vision of black large wings unfurled from his back, sweeping outward with an elegance. He sensed them like an abstract and incorporeal existence, not having a physical body but rather a manifestation of power.

Alec flicked his wrist, and the demons were toast.

----------

''What kind of demon are you?''

The worst kind.

''That's the Devil.''

Is it? Wait until you see my father.

Alec's instincts flared, a realisation crashing over him. The Devil might be a story, but he was said to be a fallen Angel, expelled from Heaven.

Magnus's father... a fallen Angel?

Angels were known to have a corporeal human-like body, one that became vulnerable without the celestial being occupying it.

Oh no!

[demy85]

Chapter 2 - Let your mind wander

Alec was filled with a deep sense of relief as he finally returned to the familiar ground of campus after the tumultuous and stressful events of the past few weeks. The spring semester had just begun and a wave of anticipation flooded through him as he thought about the life drawing class he would be taking this semester. It had always been Alec's passion to pursue art through drawing so this course was a perfect opportunity to enhance as well as refine his skills.

Besides looking forward to his academic obligations, Alec couldn't wait to see his good friend Clary again. Despite their initial differences and arguments, the lively redhead had managed to carve out a special place in his heart. Their friendship had deepened over time and Alec knew he could rely on Clary when he needed someone to talk to or share his feelings with.

She was one of the few people Alec trusted and opened up to, yet he still kept that one secret. Though he was quite sure that both his beloved twin sister and Clary were already making assumptions about his sexuality. 

Still, Alec had only ever confided in Jem and his open-minded and understanding response had made Alec feel accepted and understood.

But despite Jem's encouragement and support, Alec was not yet ready to take the next big step and tell more people about his sexuality.

𒐣

He had tried so hard over the winter break to forget about Magnus, to not let his thoughts linger on him. But now that he was back on campus and knew that Magnus could run into him at any time, he somehow struggled to keep him out of his mind. He found himself unable to stop imagining Magnus kissing him, holding him, he couldn't seem to stop and if he was honest with himself, he didn't want to.

Deep down, Alec knew that he wanted to be kissing Magnus, that he wanted to cuddle him in an embrace and that he simply wanted to be with him. Ever since he had first laid eyes on him on campus, Magnus had fascinated him in a way he had never known before.

Alec had never experienced anything like this for another person. Although he had harbored some affection for his adopted brother Jace as a teenager, it was nothing compared to what he currently experienced towards Magnus and it frightened him in a way.

It was so much more and went so much deeper than anything he'd ever experienced before, and he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to hide his feelings if Magnus came face to face with him.

Luckily for him, he knew his sister's curriculum and therefore Magnus’, as they had almost all their classes together, and was as a result able to remain out of his way.

But he still didn't succeed in getting him out of his head.

𒐣

Alec made his way along with Clary to their second lecture of the semester's life drawing class.

In the previous week, Professor Fray, Clary's mother, had shared with them the syllabus and all the materials they would be using for the semester. How they would begin and what they could expect at the end of the semester.

There had been a murmur around the room when Jocelyn had told them that they would also be working with nude models towards the end of the semester, not that Clary didn't already know the syllabus inside out. 

She had then also explained to them about the structure of the individual modules, as the course consisted of two different lessons. In the first lesson of the week they would mainly be drawing, beginning with shapes and different shading and working on people towards the end.

In the second lesson of the week, their professor would start by showing them the different drawing styles with the help of a presentation. She would introduce them to the materials they would be working with this semester. Later, they would also learn about human anatomy and draw bones, muscles and even whole bodies.

They were eagerly awaiting the next lesson. In their first real lesson, they had already started drawing various objects. Jocelyn had put a selection of everyday objects on the desk and told them to just start drawing. She hadn't specified whether to use charcoal or graphite, so Alec had decided to alternate between the different objects to get a feel for the two different materials.

His hands and various other parts of his body ended up black from the charcoal, but he loved it and Clary was clearly very happy too.

They both couldn't wait to see what Jocelyn had prepared for them in the next class.

𒐣

They were sitting in one of the smaller reading rooms which was adjacent to the room where their first lesson had taken place, waiting for the class to start.

At first, Clary had the impression that Alec was so distracted because he was looking forward to the lesson, but even as they were sitting in the room and Jocelyn had already started the presentation, it seemed as if Alec's mind was somewhere else entirely.

It was as if Alec was lost in thought, drawing in his sketchbook instead of keeping up with the lesson.

Clary was having fun tearing off little pieces of her kneaded eraser and throwing them at him.

Then she heard her mother clear her throat and she perked up and sat upright in her chair, facing forward again.

"It's good to see you are following the lessons again, Ms. Fray. Mr. Lightwood, it would be most gratifying if you would turn your attention back to the lessons as well," Jocelyn said with a mischievous smile on her face. She knew only too well how dull these lectures could be for students. But she wouldn't just let her daughter or her friend Alec do as they pleased. Doing so would hardly reflect well on her.

The giggling of his fellow students snapped him out of his daydreaming and as he looked ahead, he realized that his professor had spoken to him. In no time at all, he closed his sketchbook and tried to concentrate on what his professor was trying to explain to them.

𒐣

Clary spotted Alec sitting with a hunched back at one of the tables in the university park.

"Caffeine shot?" she asked as she approached the table.

Alec's head jerked up, startled, as his big hazel eyes looked up at Clary and then the steaming cup in her hand. The tantalizing smell of coffee made him drop the graphite pencil in his hand and he reached for the cup with both hands.

"You're an angel," he gushed in praise of her, wincing as his neck muscles twitched painfully. He had been so engrossed in his work that he hadn't even noticed how long he had been sitting there with his head bowed and his shoulders hunched forward like one of the massive gargoyles that adorned the sides of the roof of the art building.

"I'm well aware of that," Clary joked, tossing her red mop of hair behind her with a slight turn of her head.

And then she asked curiously, "You've been sitting here drawing for ages, can I see what you're working on?"

Alec hesitated for a brief moment before handing her the sketchbook. She was the only one he showed his works in progress to, apart from his professors.

"How many more sketches of this guy are there in the book?" she asked, handing him back the sketchbook, half worried that her achingly shy friend was turning into a weird stalker.

"Two or three," he stammered, and when he looked at her, he knew she didn't believe a word he said. "Okay, it's more than that, but less than fifteen," Alec stuttered, his face contorting under Clary's astonished gaze. She snatched the sketchbook back and flipped to older drawings.

And then it dawned on her when she realized that she was looking at Izzy's dance partner, Magnus, and a knowing smile blossomed on her face.

However, she didn't pester Alec with any more questions, she was sure he would tell her why he was drawing Magnus on his own accord once he was ready.

𒐣

Since he was familiar with Izzy's timetable, he knew exactly when and where she had training sessions. And so he found himself standing in front of the door to the respective room.

There were already delicate piano notes to be heard and Alec hoped that everyone was now so absorbed in their performance that no one would notice him sneaking into the room.

Luckily for him, no one noticed him enter and he remained hidden in the shadows, standing next to the door and allowing his gaze to roam towards the stage where Izzy and Magnus had already begun to dance.

Magnus looked breathtaking in his tight-fitting pants and loose-cut shirt as he practically floated across the stage.

Alec's fantasies were further stimulated when Izzy suddenly took a running start and then jumped off just before Magnus and the two of them executed a lift. 

He could hear enthusiastic clapping and caught sight of the dance teacher joining them on stage, but he was still lost in thought at the sight of Magnus' strong arms and the power he had exuded only a few moments before.

In the middle of the night, Alec woke up with a jolt, his heart pounding like crazy as he slowly came to his senses. He had been dreaming of the scene he had witnessed when he had snuck into Magnus' dance class. But instead of Izzy, he had been Magnus' dance partner.

What he wouldn't give for Magnus to hold him like that. But he would have to come out first and as much as he longed to, he wasn't ready and it wouldn't be fair to Magnus to keep him a secret. So Alec would have to make do with his dreams and fantasies.

𒐣

The first half of the spring semester seemed to fly by without Alec noticing. He was so engrossed in his studies that he didn't even realize just how quickly time was rushing along.

He had been relieved that Izzy hadn't pestered him with questions after the Christmas party. Alec was sure that she had figured him out by now and knew what his preferences were. And that was exactly why he had expected her to tell him that he had nothing to fear, that it would be okay if he finally gave free rein to his feelings. That she would always stand behind him and that it didn't matter what other people thought of him.

But Alec knew that he already managed to be enough of a disappointment to his parents. And that they would not ever be able to forgive him for deciding against studying to be a lawyer. He was not about to further destroy their image of him.

He longed for his parents' approval, that they would be proud of him and approve of what he was doing with his life. However, Alec knew only too well that his parents would never be pleased that their eldest son had decided to become an artist, no matter how good he was in his field.

𒐣

Izzy had just finished her last practice session before Spring Break. She was completely exhausted and was looking forward to the short break that the holidays would surely bring. 

A big grin was plastered on her face as she walked through the door of the apartment she shared with her brother. However, it was immediately apparent to her that Alec was in a bad mood. Having heard him swear, she quickly went and followed his voice.

"Hey, Alec. Are you doing alright?" Izzy asked as she entered the kitchen. Alec made no move to turn around to face her and if she hadn't been staring at him, she would have thought he hadn't heard her, let alone acknowledged her presence. Only the shrug of his shoulders told her that he had heard her.

Sitting down at the kitchen table, she prepared herself to wait while Alec composed himself. She knew only too well that he sometimes needed time to sort out his thoughts before he could share them with her. Before he would be able to talk about the things that were bothering him.

"Not in the least, Izzy. It's terrible, really. Our professor from the Life Drawing class revealed to us today what we'll be working on after Spring Break. And our final project is supposed to build on that and is a big part of our grades. I'm going to fail this one, Izzy. I'm going to blow my whole grade on this one stupid assignment."

Izzy frowned and braced herself on the kitchen table. "Oh, come on, Alec. You're a brilliant artist. There's nothing in the world you can't do. Tell me, what do you have to do?" 

He didn't answer, but instead pushed a piece of paper over to her. A flier that his professor had laid out to find a nude model for the class.

Izzy grinned like a cheshire cat even as she saw the crestfallen look on her brother's face.

"Cheer up Alec. I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think. Who knows, maybe it'll be some hot guy posing for you," she said with a wink and made the flier disappear into her backpack.

At this point, she knew exactly who she was going to hand the flier to.

Alec, who didn't dignify the comment about the hot guy with a response, shook his head in disagreement. Izzy didn't understand what was at stake for him, of course how on earth would she. 

"Izzy, it's not just that we're drawing nude models in class. We're also supposed to draw a full body portrait, nude, by the end of the semester. How am I supposed to find someone to model for me?" 

𒐣

Izzy remembered that Magnus was still in his hip hop class. The reason why he was still pursuing hip hop in addition to contemporary ballet was beyond her, but she had learned not to question his choices and as long as he delivered in ballet, she didn't care what he did with the rest of his time.

She was on her way to the art building, looking for Magnus so she could try to persuade him to sign up as a nude model for Alec's life drawing class. Before she had even caught sight of him and his friends, she heard Magnus' joyful laughter.

Magnus was sitting with his closest friends, Catarina and Raphael, under one of the large oak trees on the lawn in front of the art building, when Izzy came running up, beaming with joy, and handed him a piece of paper, saying, "I think you might be interested in this.

'Calling for nude models' was written in bold letters on top of the flier. 

He stared at the flier and then turned his gaze back to Izzy, his mouth practically hanging open, and finally asked in bewilderment, "What am I supposed to do with this?"

Izzy, still beaming from ear to ear, said, "It's for my brother's class. Do what you fancy with it."

Then she winked at him and waved goodbye to the trio again.

Magnus held the note in his trembling hand. He couldn't believe what an opportunity he would have if he answered the call and actually volunteered to be a nude model.

He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice the smug looks and broad grins on his friends' faces.

Of course, Izzy had noticed that Magnus had taken a fancy to her brother. It wasn't as if Magnus was keeping it a secret that he found Alec both an attractive and captivating guy, which is why he made up his mind to go and talk to Professor Fray about nude modeling ASAP.

𒐣

Cat and Raphael exchanged an amused look, then they both nodded to each other and jumped up. Raphael caught hold of Magnus tightly while Cat snatched the note from his hand and then read aloud what was written on it.

Raphael widened his eyes, and then he loosened his grip on Magnus while staring at him blank-faced.

Cat looked at the note she was holding and then turned her gaze to Magnus. “What the hell, Magnus?”

He looked at his friends, his siblings, and held his hands in front of him in a kind of peace offering. “Just a moment, before you guys freak out. I can explain.”

So he told them about the force of nature called Alexander Lightwood. From the moment he'd first laid eyes on him through to the party he'd accompanied Izzy to.

It was a mystery to him that they hadn't noticed his crush on Alec up until now. Though that was probably due to the fact that he had started to be more cautious after the disaster with Camille, at least when it came to talking about something like that with his siblings.

“Oh my God, you're head over heels for this guy, aren't you?”

“You're not serious, are you?”

Cat and Raphael exclaimed wildly in unison as Magnus chuckled while shaking his head.

Then he turned his gaze back to the two of them and went on, “Yes, I think Alec and I could be something wonderful. Please, both of you. I actually know what I'm doing and that's precisely the reason why I have to leave you now. I absolutely have to see Professor Fray before she leaves for Spring Break.”

Grinning happily, he jumped up and took off.

[thelightofthebane]

through the good and bad and all in between

Summary: Magnus was born a warlock. Magnus became a mundane for love and by self-sacrificing tendencies. Magnus turned into a vampire after an act of spite and revenge.

A story about survival, new identities, love through adversities, and accepting changes.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s03e17 Heavenly Fire, Vampire Magnus Bane, Turned without consent, Major Character Undeath, Immortal to Mortal to Immortal, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Boyfriend Alec Lightwood, Soft Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Cat & Alec friendship, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending

Rating: E

Chapters: 10

Words: Around 23k~

This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Mini Bang 2023: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver

You can read it on AO3 or the last chapter below ~

Chapter 10 - I need you here 'til the very end

Seven years later

By some miracle, things settled for a long time.

No more catastrophes. No more Greater Demons or madmen. No more jealous ex-girlfriends. No more near-death experiences.

Jia and Lydia had become a refreshing powerhouse for the Clave. A rewriting of the Accords was even in the plans, and this time there would be more Downworlder representatives than before.

Alec had been helping Lydia with a project that would spread the idea of Downworld Cabinets for all Institutes, as well as some really needed reeducation regarding Downworld culture. Surprisingly, Alec chose Clary to be aboard in the project, and her suggestions of Mundane culture have been really interesting and useful for once.

The New York Shadow World was thriving too. Alec not only reformed the Institute and made sure no one under his leadership would mistreat a Downworld ever again, but he also put into action new ideas - like a mixed school for Shadowhunters and Downworlders’ children to learn together.

Magnus was…

Magnus was much better. His nightmares were still present, but few and far between. He seemed more settled in his new role, and despite missing his magic a lot, he could now think about it with fondness instead of grief.

They had married two years after Alec’s proposal. Jace and Clary married a year later. Simon and Izzy, four years later.

Jace and Clary became parents around the time Alec and Magnus celebrated their 5th anniversary. It also lit up a tiny flame inside Alec’s chest that wished the same with Magnus. Maybe it was time to have the adoption talk.

Well, if another disaster wasn’t about to happen, but judging by Izzy’s serious face, Alec didn’t want to push his luck.

“Please, don’t tell me you found out about another secret experiment by the Clave.”

Isabelle cracked a tiny smile, shaking her head.

“It’s something personal, actually.” She closed the door and went to sit on the chair in front of him.

“Are you okay? Did you and Simon fight?”

“No, although it has to do with him.”

Alec frowned in confusion. She smiled a bit more genuinely this time.

“I bet no one could’ve ever imagined that us both would end up in a committed relationship with vampires.”

Alec snorts. 

“Understatement.” He went back to write on a report mission, letting his sister to take her time to tell him whatever has been bothering her. However, when after ten minutes nothing more was said, he decided to push her a little bit. “What’s your point, Iz?”

“Have you ever thought about staying?”

The pen halted on the paper, and Alec needed a moment to comprehend what Izzy was saying. When it finally hit him, he put the pen down and looked at her.

“Yes,” he croaked, his eyes automatically straying for a drawer containing books and years of research. “Since Magnus was turned.”

“Did you find something?”

“Besides becoming a vampire? No.” Alec huffed, frustrated with the lack of alternatives.

“And that would be too bad?” Izzy mumbled, but her brother heard anyway and looked a bit spooked.

“W-What?”

“Look, it was one thing before when Magnus was still an immortal warlock. But he’s a vampire now. Would it be that bad to be the same as him?”

Alec’s frown only deepened.

She… had a point.

He was so worried looking for answers, he had forgotten that Magnus changed. He was still immortal, but a different kind. And if Alec did become a vampire, the only thing he would be sacrificing is food. He was sure that if he asked Jace, his brother wouldn’t mind giving him his blood, too.

“Oh…”

“Yeah, oh.” Izzy smirked, but it was slightly shaken.

“Is this what you want?”

The woman released an equally shaken breath and looked directly at her brother’s eyes.

“I do. Simon is… Simon is right. You know I’ve never cared much about love, but something in him makes me dream about things I didn’t dare before. He makes me happy in a way that hurts, you know? A good hurt, the kind that fills me up and makes me stronger and braver.”

Alec smiled, his eyes now finding the photo frame on his desk. Magnus and he were holding each other under a Sakura tree in full bloom, petals falling over them in a pink rain. They were both laughing, blissfully happy.

Yeah. He knew perfectly what Izzy was talking about.

“Besides, it’s not only about him. I… There is so many things I want to do now, and I think a single lifetime will not be enough. The project draft I showed you last week regarding more secure and efficient weapons, as well as high-tech shields… It’ll take years to heave at least one prototype done. I want to see this to its end, big brother.”

Alec hummed. Getting up, he got around the desk and crouched next to her. “Let me ask you again. Is this what you really want?”

Isabelle straighted up her shoulders and nodded with a fierce glare, full of determination and stubbornness that was practically a Lightwood trait at this point.

“Yes.”

“We have a lot to plan, then. But first, we need to talk to our parabatais, then our family. Simon and Magnus should come last, because they’ll be the most difficult.”

“I know… But you’ll be with me, right?”

“Always, Iz.” Alec grinned then. “Forever.” 

~*~

As Alec expected, talking to Magnus didn’t start well.

“Absolutely not! If… If I were still a warlock or you could stay as a Shadowhunter… But a vampire? No. Never.”

“Why not? You’re one!”

“You’ll have to die, Alec!”

“You died!” Alec yelled and suddenly a heavy silence wrapped the room, only their gasps filling the air.

Then, Alec sobbed, frustration and guilt still weighting his heart.

“You died… And I couldn’t do anything.”

But Magnus was equally stubborn.

“I can’t stomach the idea of you dying. Even if your intention is to come back.” He shook his head, shuddering. “Alexander, we don’t know if it works for Nephilim. Mundane blood is one thing. Even if you derune yourself so the runes won’t interfere, we don’t know what your angel blood might do. What if doesn’t work?”

“It does. Izzy and I researched. There are some cases of Shadowhunters who were attacked in patrols and turned, and some that turned willingly.”

They spent a couple of minutes just staring at each other, neither of them willing to back down.

Until Magnus deflated at last.

“You’re really serious about that, aren’t you?”

Alec nodded with certainty. Soon enough, though, his forehead creased in concern, a huge lump in his throat.

“Unless… Unless you don’t want me forever. Unless only a mortal lifetime would be enough–”

“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare imply that I wouldn’t want you for all eternity. I’m not ready to lose you now, and I’m sure I’ll never be. But I don’t want you to regret this, Alexander. Immortality is a curse. I… I don’t want you to resent me over time for this burden.”

“I won’t.”

“You can’t be sure.”

“But I am, Magnus.”

“How so?”

“Because there isn’t a lifetime or universe where I would regret choosing you, Magnus Bane. You’re it for me. You’re mine and I’m yours.”

Magnus’ eyes fluttered, his eyelashes already damp although no tears had fallen yet.

“What about your family? Your parabatai?”

“I’ve already talked to them. Jace gave me his blessing, Max was totally chill about it, and my parents struggled a bit but agreed in the end without any fuss. And Izzy… Izzy will stay. With us. For as long as I live, I’ll have the love of my life and my baby sister with me.” Alec smiled.

“And Simon?” Magnus tried to joke, but his voice cracked with all the emotions currently overwhelming him.

“If it’s the price for Izzy’s happiness, I can tolerate him.” Alec shrugged. “He is your family, too.”

“I can deal alright with Sherman.”

Alec grinned, approaching Magnus and pressing their foreheads together.

“I promise I want this, Magnus. Trust me.”

“I do… It’s just… I’m afraid. You know how become a vampire is like a gamble. You either turn or your soul is trapped forever at the in-between.”

“I know. So, will you be my sire?”

“Oh god, I forgot about that. Yes, of course, but…” Magnus bit his lower lip. “Should I look for a way to…” He choked. “...to kill you quickly and painlessly?”

At that, Alec stepped back and looked horrified at him.

“Are you crazy? I won’t let you kill me! You already have enough nightmares for many lifetimes, Magnus. I won’t give you one more.”

“You should not die alone, Alec! It’s awful, believe me. I can’t let you take your own life either. I won’t!”

“Magnus!”

“Alexander!”

.

.

.

The immortality talk was never an easy one.

Even if they were sure about the ‘why’, they argued for weeks about the ‘how’.

It was Catarina who offered them a solution.

~*~

“Oh wow, we are going to be four!” Simon blabbed, all excited like a kid at a candy store. “We can already form our own club, The Daylighters.”

Magnus cocked an eyebrow and Alec narrowed his eyes. It was the same bullshit from his wedding-that-wasn’t with Lydia.

“You’re so lucky that Izzy loves you.”

“Of course I am. Actually, talking about her, what if we went on double dates after you two turn? I heard about this blood bar near Times Square that sells these cocktails with different blood types, and they have this tiny umbrellas made of-”

“Oh my God! I’m going to look for Jace and spar with him.” Alec groaned and left before Simon finished.

“He still hates me, doesn’t he?” Simon chuckled, this time without much humor.

Magnus’ eyes softened.

“Relax. You know how Alexander is. He might not say out loud, but he already considers you family.”

“Really?” Simon’s whole face lit up. “Then, we’re not going to be just a club. We’re going to be a family of Daylighters!”

And wasn’t that a whole concept?

Sometimes Magnus couldn’t believe that despite all the suffering, all the pain, all the choices taken from him… He could still have this.

A big family.

At first, it was only him, Ragnor, Cat and Raphael.

Then, they lost Ragnor. And Raphael was now a mortal, so their time together was limited.

But for the centuries to come, more people became part of their small, special bunch of immortal troublemakers.

Madzie, Simon.

Very soon, his husband and sister-in-law.

Maybe in the future… Their own kids.

Jace and Clary were okay with their mortality and opted to die as Shadowhunters. Furthermore, considering their extra angel blood, neither of them wanted to gamble with a high probability of failure. What if their super angelic blood burned the demonic virus and they remained dead? No, it was too dangerous to even try. But the Herondale-Fairchild clan would forever be assisted and protected by them, never letting Jace and Clary’s legacy to be forgotten.

They would all be okay.

“Yes, Simon. We’re really going to be.”

~*~

It took a couple more of years before they went forward with it.

Alec still had some last arrangements to do before retiring from the Institute and starting his new life as a vampire. Isabelle had already gone through the process, and it was her former parabatai's blood that turned her into a Daylighter.

Now, in his late 30s, it was Alec’s turn to take this unchangeable step.

They went back to Ragnor’s home, where everything has started. They dug a hole right next to Magnus’ grave, and stocked the place with bags of blood. Cat was there too, but this time she would wait inside the house until it was time to bury Alec’s body. They all agreed that, no matter the end result, it was better to not leave Magnus alone. What they were about to do wouldn’t be easy for either of them, but Magnus refused to let Alec be by himself.

“Do you think Ragnor would mind having me here too? I know you three agreed to be buried together, but maybe a Shadowhunter would be too much for him.”

Magnus smiled softly. “It was Ragnor that actually convinced me to fight one more time for us on that day of your wedding with Lydia. I’m pretty sure Ragnor would allow you here knowing you are the one whom my heart belongs to.”

Alec flushed, a boyish smile adorning his face. Oh… It was going to be the last time Magnus saw that pretty pink color on Alexander’s cheeks.

Well, it was okay, he thought.

Alec was still full of things Magnus absolutely loved. 

Under a big oak tree at Ragnor’s garden, they shared some more words and kisses, showering each other in promises and love.

They kissed for a long time, until Magnus slowly started a trail of open-mouthed kisses down to Alec’s neck. He licked and nibbled the sensitive skin around the deflect rune. Then, without holding himself any longer, he bit hard, breaking skin and making his husband bleed. Latching at it, Magnus drank the Nephilim blood, losing himself for a moment.

Alec tensed, feeling pain and fire and death under his skin, but soon his thoughts halted and his mind went numb.

Magnus was delighted, feeling how that was better than any blood he has tried. So delicious and addictive and his, only his.

“M-Magnus…” Alec whimpered, enough to break through the fog on Magnus’ mind. Alec’s blood dripped from his lips, the marvelous taste still exploding on his tongue. “I- Your… I need your blood…” Alec was paler, but he held himself with the determination of a man in a mission.

Magnus nodded, and using his fang, cut his own wrist and put it near Alec’s lips. A bit sluggishly, he also drank Magnus’ blood, grimacing at the metallic taste.

“There, you are doing great, my darling,” Magnus cooed, nuzzling Alec’s cheek until he reached the other side of his neck and bit there too, drinking more.

A moan and weak tap on his arm forced Magnus to stop again and look at his love. Alec’s eyes were glazed, half-hooded and dull. If Magnus still had a beating heart, it would’ve certainly stopped for a moment.

“Now… please…” He could see that Alec was barely holding up now. Quickly, he fished out from his pocket the potion Catarina made especially for that occasion. It would accelerate Alec’s death while he slept. Quick and painless.

Magnus helped Alec drank the murky green liquid, and soon enough the Shadowhunter’s eyes were dropping.

“L’ve… you…” He forced a breath. “See’ya… soon…”

“I love you too. I will be here, I promise.” Magnus took Alec in his arms, holding his husband with all the care and desperation in the world.

Alec’s heart started to slow down, the beats stuttering.

Please…

Slowly, slowly stopping.

Come back.

His breath turned into tiny huffs of air until it was gone.

You have to come back to me, Alexander.

A last beat.

Please.

Silence.

Please.

.

.

. 

Later, while waiting beside Alec’s grave, when a hand with a beloved and familiar wedding ring emerged from the dirt, Magnus knew everything was going to be all right.

They were going to be all right.

[thelostgirl21]

I know I'm kind of very late to the whole debate, but I'm pretty sure we can safely refer to Radovid as being gay.

At least, that's the label that Hugh Skinner used to refer to his character in an interview "‘I love an outsider. Part of the draw with The Witcher was to play a gay character in a big genre fantasy show with a big audience. It felt like a unique opportunity and one I couldn’t really say no to".

And technically, there's a very specific in-show confirmation that happens before he's even met Jaskier.

Philippa says "Now we have to chaperone that royal seed-waste, too?" in reference to Radovid, with Dijsktra later repeating "Now, as for Prince Seed-waste".

I think when Philippa said it, I almost choked on the ice cream I was eating, because that's such a direct and crude way (although in the mouths of two highly condescending characters, that treat people as pure objects and resources for them to use and abuse, it fits!) of outing someone as being gay to your audience that I wasn't quite prepared for it.

I was sort of going "Whoa! Alright! Screw subtlety! You guys really want to double down on the fact that he's exclusively into men, and thus unlikely to be interested in procreating and making little royal babies, don't you?"

You're wasting royal seed, Radovid! Naughty you!

And later, yeah, you also see him flirting specifically with a male courtesan.

So although - as a pansexual myself - I would never assume one's gender preferences (nor even assume that gender factors into the attraction), based on the way they behave or flirt with other people or the person they are in a relationship with; when combined with that "lovely" nickname Philippa and Dijkstra used for him, I think there definitely was some kind of intent to tell the audience that Radovid is specifically into men.

And I was quite happy about it, since I really have a huge soft spot for bisexual/monosexual or pansexual/monosexual pairings in terms of representation, too!

For example, having a bisexual character, like Magnus Bane, paired up with an openly gay young man (Alec Lightwood), without his bisexuality ever becoming an issue or source of concern/tension regarding their compatibility, was something that I found to be absolutely amazing and very much needed in terms of positive representation.

Because, since people tend to instinctively relate more easily with their own group, seeing a gay man sharing such a strong, healthy, loving, and quite domestic relationship with an openly bisexual man - deconstructing misconceptions and stereotypes about bisexuality - might help them perceive bisexuality through Alec's eyes, and imagine themselves being happy and emotionally safe in a similar relationship with a bisexual man.

In Jaskier's case, however, I think him being on the polyamorous spectrum (either fully polyamorous or perhaps ambiamorous) might need to be clearly and openly addressed with Radovid at some point, though; especially if it so happens that Radovid's own instincts, when it comes to how he experiences love in affective/sexual relationships, tend to be more exclusive.

Like I really trust Joey to avoid making Jaskier's pansexuality an issue or a source of conflict between his character and a gay partner because of pansexuality... But him playing a pansexual character that is also comfortable in polyamorous relationship dynamics does complexify the relationship; and it would be nice to kind of make it clear that pansexuality / polyamory are not directly connected.

I mean, both can occur in the same person (ex: I'm both pansexual and ambiamorous), but it's not a direct correlation.

Thus, you have to be careful avoiding reinforcing the idea that the capacity and instinctive desire to form multiple emotionally (and sometimes sexually) intimate partnerships at a time is related to the way we may emotionally and/or sexually respond (or fail to respond) to another person's gender expression and identity (or lack thereof).

I'm kind of hopeful that it wouldn't be an issue for Radovid, given that he never once seemed to be unsupportive of Jaskier's relationship with Geralt (that arguably could be described as amorous, regardless of any romantic or sexual intent, as those aren't necessary at all to form an intimate bond and partnership), referred to him as Jaskier's Witcher and asked if said Witcher knew how lucky the was to have Jaskier (so, in Radovid's mind, Jaskier is Geralt's and Geralt is Jaskier's on some level, at least, regardless of the exact nature of their feelings for one another), likely heard about how "the loveable old lutanist won the hearts of the huntress pair" in the song "The Golden One"...

And quite frankly, if you suddenly show up right in the middle of a lover's quarrel to catch the lute of a bard accused of getting sexually involved with many, many different people all in one go, well...

... MAYBE you should consider that said bard might be on the sexually adventurous side.

Jaskier is apparently very sensory seeking and likes to experience the world and the people around him through his senses... Hearing, touch, smell, taste, sight, lust...

If it looks tasty - or just plain intriguing - it's very hard for him, apparently, not to stick his tongue on it, or shove the whole thing in his mouth.

So, evidence points in the direction of Radovid having fallen in love with Jaskier fully knowing that he can form multiple genuine intimate relationships with others, as well as be impulsively sexually passionate.

If Radovid is also - how was it that Jaskier put it - a "creative free spirit" in his own right, and that romantic connection continues to deepen and progress between them, they may at least need to kind of name their respective boundaries and needs.

Actually, Jaskier would likely need to figure out what he needs from a romantic partner in the first place, since apparently it's not really something he's lived and explored before (it's actually not that far from what you and Geralt share, just different. Like, different tools for different needs? What I'm trying to say is...).

So, I'm very curious to see how things might unfold between these two.

But yeah, to go back to the initial subject, pretty sure Radovid is gay.

I'm actually a bit surprised no one else has brought up Philippa and Dijkstra calling him "Prince Seed-waste" yet. At least, not from what I've seen in the notes...

since there's no specific confirmation (as far as I know), no wrong answers! just curious to see how people have been reading him

[secretsofblackthornhall]

Dearest Magnus,

Jem, Kit and I are so looking forward to your visit. In preparation, Kit has been attempting to teach Mina to say your name. She’s almost got it, but you may have to content yourself with being called “Agnes,” as she has trouble with the M — very trying for her as she is so advanced in her speech, just as you say Max was. You should have heard them in the kitchen this morning. “Who is coming to visit, Mina?” “Agnes!” I feel that your alter ego, Agnes, would wear sequins and be absolutely deadly at whist.

Thank you for your thoughts about the wards. I will look for labradorite at the gem store in Exeter. I tried what you suggested with the chickens—I was able to borrow a Blue Orpington from a neighbor on the last quarter moon. Since then chickens seem to be avoiding Kit, so maybe it will work on demons too? (Though can you really tell when a chicken is avoiding someone as opposed to just being a chicken?)

Jem and I are endeavoring to walk a narrow line, keeping Kit safe and hidden while also providing him with the most normal life we can. We don’t want to lock him away in a tower like a fairytale princess—he’d be miserable. And Mina would be miserable, she just adores him and rides everywhere on his back, clutching onto his shirt with her little hands. It reminds me of the way James and Lucie used to ride on Will’s shoulders. I suppose times change, but children never do.

We’re trying to allow Kit freedom wherever we can. He’s enrolled at the small school in the village, where a few of his friends know about the Shadow World and others don’t. There’s a local pack of werewolves who we’ve become friendly with, and some of their children go to school with him. I’ve begun to suspect that Kit has a girlfriend, but he’s secretive about it. (I guess that’s another thing that never changes about children—how secretive they are. I just hope he knows he can tell us anything. Especially related to demons, or in Kit’s case, the fey. A hundred and ten years later and I’m still edgy.)

He’s a puzzle, our Christopher Jonathan Herondale. About some things he’s opened up, and is willing to talk to Jem and me about them freely — his father, and what it was like growing up being able to see all sorts of peculiar things but not really understanding why. About being taught to fear Shadowhunters. About his concerns about his heritage — what it means, what kind of power he might have. I think it frustrates him, not knowing.

Other things he won’t talk about. We have asked him about Ty, as you and I discussed, but he’s like a brick wall about their friendship. Whatever happened he won’t speak of it. I think Livvy’s death hit him harder than we guessed, too. I’ve heard him call out her name in his sleep, always in this very despairing way. Sometimes he’ll say Not if you do this. Not if you do this, Ty. I feel like whatever they fought about, it must have been awful. But people can be terrible when they’re grieving; we both know that.

You can probably tell from everything I’ve said how much I — how much we — love Kit. I just love him, Magnus, like he was my own. He is my own. I’d kill anyone who wanted to hurt him, just as I would protect Mina or Jem with my life. I never thought I’d have this again, this perfect family I love so much it hurts. Strange after so many years to be so surprised by one’s own feelings — but I imagine it’s much the same for you, isn’t it? Speaking of which, I hope you and Alec and the kids are well. Please let Max know that we found his superhero cape—it was inside the piano.

I enclose a picture from your last visit here. How adorable they all are!

Love,📷

Tessa

[heliads]

The Hellhound and the Shadowhunter (Part Two)

Based on this request: "After the party at the end of part one, the reader and Maryse have repaired their relationship. There’s a one-year time jump. Y/N and Jordan are back in California, and are married with a baby boy named Benjamin Parrish. Y/N and Jordan visit New York so that Y/N’s siblings can meet Benjamin."

part one / masterlist 

Your husband finds you standing in a corner of your kitchen, clutching a perfectly typed invitation like it’s a sacred talisman. Although you’re the head of the California Shadowhunter Institute, and are thus kept quite busy with the day to day errands of the western Nephilim, he’s been coming home later and later as well. As it turns out, being a hellhound in a place that’s host to both werewolf packs and angelic warriors tends to attract a lot of supernatural foes, and he’s been forced to use every available minute of the day to make sure his friends will be alright.

Jordan still manages to come into the house with a smile, however tired. It slips into a frown when he notices the paper in your hand, the way the envelope at your feet has been scrawled over with protective runes. Most Shadowhunters in the area would just pay you a visit at the Institute, but someone’s taken the time to write.

He eases into the room, pressing a kiss to your head so he can steal a glance at the paper in your hand. “What’s that?”

You smile over at him, taking in the trepidation in his voice. “It’s good news, actually. Might be the first time in a while that I’ve gotten good news from New York.”

Jordan arches a brow. “We’ve gotten word from New York? How are they doing? How’s Alec?”

You laugh at his question. Alec has always had a rather good friendship with Jordan, something about the fact that they’d both turn into the most fearsome warriors imaginable when it comes to protecting the people they care about. The events at Alec’s almost wedding last year only solidified their camaraderie.

“Alec is great, actually, that’s why he’s writing. He’s getting married, but this time for real.”

Jordan looks delighted. “Don’t tell me Magnus finally proposed. I thought they’d never get around to it.”

You bite back a grin. “You know, you’re awfully involved in this. I seem to recall both of us dreading a trip over to the New York Institute the last time he was getting married.”

Jordan waves a hand dismissively. “That was before, and your family is much cooler about the whole ‘children dating Downworlders’ thing now. I hate to say it, but I’m almost excited to see the in-laws. Honestly, we should have them visit more often.”

You smile contentedly at him. While you were in New York, you had the opportunity to really talk with your family for the first time in a long time. You were inspired by your twin’s courage in standing up to your parents, so you figured you could use a little luck yourself.

The end of the night had found you and Maryse Lightwood walking through the corridors of the New York Institute, just catching each other up on everything that had happened over the last few years. You’d shared your thoughts on plenty of past grievances, such as your mother’s excessive expectations for Alec and yourself, as well as her attitude towards Jordan.

To be honest, you hadn’t been sure how well it would go. Maryse is a classic Shadowhunter, she always has been. She follows the rules because it keeps her in a safe sort of spotlight. No one looks twice at someone they think they can trust.

Still, that conversation had revealed much about your mother that you hadn’t even begun to realize before. Over the course of a couple of hours, your shoulders lost their stiffness, and you talked with her, the real sort of talking you’d only managed with Alec, Izzy, and your younger siblings before. It was as if you were looking at Maryse through a window newly cleared of fog, and you only wish that you could have achieved that sort of reconciliation a lot earlier.

She admitted that she was quite proud of you for all of your work with the California Institute, even if it was far away from home. Also, she finally started seeing past Jordan’s life as a hellhound for the wonderful man that he is, and they’ve quickly grown close.

There’s another person that’s been helping your relationship with your family, too, and he’s a beautiful little boy sleeping two rooms down. Benjamin Parrish, born about six months ago, is everything you could have hoped for in a son. 

At first, you were afraid of how the Clave would react to a boy that’s half Shadowhunter and half Downworlder, but looking at your child, you know that you would risk the entire race of Nephilim and their criticisms just to keep him safe. There’s nothing you wouldn’t do for him and Jordan.

Needless to say, you’re actually quite excited to go to your family once again. Jordan feels the exact same way, and soon enough, you find yourself touching down in New York. It’s been about a year since you visited for Alec’s supposed wedding to Lydia, but it feels like you could have never left. You hated that, once, how it seemed like you’d never be free of this place, but now it feels more like a happy memory welcoming you home.

The city and its blazing lights aren’t the only ones delighted to see you back. Izzy all but sprints to you once you first walk through the doors with Jordan, and Alec and the rest aren’t far behind. Through the haze of thrilled Lightwoods, you see Magnus approaching through the crowd and starting to talk with Jordan. They’ve been getting along well, too, something about the shared exhaustion of trying to date a Lightwood. Heaven knows you and Alec haven’t made it easy for them.

Then you’re enveloped in a hug by Maryse, who looks towards Benjamin with shining eyes. She told you once that she’s been terrified of continuing on the family legacy, because with every successful generation there’s twice the pressure on the following children to keep up the good work of everyone else. 

The way she looks at your son now, you know for a fact that she can finally relax. You’re okay, you’re all okay. The family will stay strong, and not just through tradition. There is more than one way to live a proud life.

You arrived a few days early, but the day of the wedding arrives sooner than you thought. You can’t help but compare the two ceremonies in your head. The first time around, Alec had practically been tearing his hair out due to nerves, but he hadn’t been able to realize the reason why he was freaking out so much until Magnus showed up to interrupt the wedding.

Alec now, though, is practically a different person. You regret the distance between your Institute in California and Alec’s home here more than ever. When did he start shedding some of that ice around his heart? When did he start letting himself live? 

There are moments when Alec is laughing at a joke Magnus or Izzy makes that you almost don’t recognize him. There is a darker, quieter boy that has been permanently retired to some part of Alec’s mind. Your twin doesn’t need that permanent shield up around him anymore, and you couldn’t be happier to see it.

At last, the day of the wedding arrives. You take a seat in the chapel besides Jordan, with baby Benjamin in between the two of you. Apparently, your child knows enough to stay quiet during the ceremony, and just watches everything around him with the quiet delight of a dreamer. The light fading in through stained glass windows paints his hair and skin with bright colors, and his eyes shine like precious stones.

There is nothing you wouldn’t do for him, your son. When you were younger, you wondered if you wanted children. Even though it was surely expected for a Lightwood, you were never certain. Part of you never knew if you’d survive long enough in a world crawling with demons in monsters to even truly consider the question, or if you’d marry for anything other than title.

Looking at Jordan, though, you couldn’t be happier. You took your risks, but they’ve paid off, all of them. You are here with a husband who loves you, a husband who chose you because he’s willing to fight off the entirety of his chaotic world just to pick you again and again and again. You’d do the same thing for him.

And, up ahead of you, you get to see your twin brother make the exact same choice. The walls of the chapel are bedecked with flowers and plants, making the whole scene look like something out of a fairytale. This could be nothing but a blissful dream, but even the illusion of seeing your brother marry the man he loves would be worth the lie.

It’s true, though, all of it. For once, it is wonderfully true. You can’t stop a few happy tears from trickling down your cheeks during the vows, and then the ceremony is complete and everyone is clapping like they’ve just witnessed a miracle. Looking between your sister and brother and family, you might have. 

Alec finds you after the ceremony, smiling so hard you almost think you’ve met a stranger. You hug him, pulling him close and hoping that you can silently communicate just how happy you are that he’s found this epilogue to his life, because you don’t think that you could put it into words if you tried.

“Thanks for coming out,” he says, “I’m so glad to see you. Honestly.”

You laugh. “As if there was a chance that I wouldn’t come see you get married. I couldn’t be happier for you, Alec. I’m so glad you got to have this, after everything that’s happened recently.”

Alec shudders. “Tell me about it. I was never really sure if this day would come, although I hoped like hell it would.” He chuckles, scratching the back of his head awkwardly before continuing in a rush.

“You know, I was always jealous of you for being able to go. I’ve never been able to say that without sounding jaded before, but it’s true. I remember watching you take off for the California Institute and wondering when I’d get something like that for me. Especially after you found Jordan. It seemed unreal, how happy you were.”

You reach forward, taking his hands. “And look at you now. You have Magnus, who loves you more than anything. You’ve still got your family. You’re still Perfect Alec, but you get to take whatever risks you want to.”

Alec snorts. “I was hoping you’d forgotten that nickname. I haven’t heard that in years.”

You smirk. “Never. I’d say it’s especially true now, though. Look around you, Alec. This is what you’ve always wanted, and it’s not an exaggeration or a luckless hope. Let yourself breathe.”

He smiles, looking out through the room until his eyes land on Magnus. “It is good, isn’t it? We won. At everything.”

“Yeah, we did, didn’t we?” 

You’re not looking at Magnus anymore, or even Alec. Instead, you’ve just seen Jordan around a group of people. He’s holding your son in your arms, and smiling like he’s just seen a sunrise for the first time. He meets your eyes across the room, and his face lights even more, if possible. You do have it pretty good, don’t you? You wouldn’t change a thing about it. There’s no way to make this any better than it is.

teen wolf tag list: @thatfangirl42, @rogueanschel, @lovesanimals0000, @rafecameronswhore, @bellabadacadabra, @watchreadfangirlrepeat

[cuubism]

i'm rewatching shadowhunters (at glacial pace) and i'm tearing my hair out i swear to god season 1 episode 4 makes no sense whatsoever and has zero internal consistency (actually you know what that's on me, i should never have expected internal consistency from shadowhunters smh)

but anyway the only storyline that makes sense in this ep is simon's everything else is NONSENSE

an incomplete list of insanity:

-- hodge knowing all these random intimate details of magnus's backstory (#infodumping) -- magnus leaving the lair to get the necklace (IS IT JUST ME OR WOULD HE NOT DO THIS??? okay i understand magnus is very sentimental esp about camille but i STILL don't think he would have left all his warlocks alone. like. sure he might be willing to risk his own life but THEIRS TOO? and he could have always demanded the necklace as payment for something later now that he knows they have it.) -- actually the squad would have had an easier time getting him to meet by just telling him clary needed his help. magnus is always helping people and would have probably felt he owed clary a bit for taking the memories in the first place. not that they would have known that. -- magnus saying he knew dot was dead bc he couldn't feel her magic but she was literally in chernobyl when she died???? can he just feel everyone's magic on THE ENTIRE EARTH??? IS THERE NO RADIUS WHERE IT STOPS WORKING??? -- why am i even asking this. we all know the magical rules in sh are... loose at best -- but also. imagine this but in 3x10 when magnus loses his magic and like 100 people come banging on his door in a panic thinking he's dead -- magnus describing the memory demon as "a" memory demon in one scene and then jace says it's a GREATER DEMON in another scene? THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE aren't most of the greater demons fallen angels? IS 'MEMORY DEMON' A TYPE OF DEMON OR A SPECIFIC ONE WHICH ONE IS IT??? -- despite being willing to risk life and limb to get the necklace back magnus immediately gives it to isabelle. i mean, i COULD figure out a meta here about the contrast between magnus's abstracted longing and sentimentality about camille versus the reality of actually being confronted with her, but that feels a bit... elaborate considering the rest of this episode's consistency -- magnus says "the lightwoods have been wearing this necklace for centuries" okay and... is that not incredibly offensive to him???? -- the utter lack of emotional impact of like.... dozens of warlocks getting slaughtered? especially with magnus -- the fact that magnus can transport his entire loft across the city and yet it seemingly takes him significant effort to hold off one circle member??? (i mean we do then get the infamous 'more like medium rare' scene as a result but STILL) -- does it actually make sense that killing the demon will lose clary's memories? like you can't actually kill demons, you just banish them. does that mean ALL the memories it was storing get destroyed?? and if it is a greater demon this makes even less sense.

i will say one positive thing about the episode after all this criticism. i used to hate the scene where alec breaks the pentagram but i think i get it now. i will write about this later in my stupid little rewatch coda fic

but anyway this episode broke me

[autisticandroids]

okay so. those of you familiar with me know that one of the pieces of #lore i come with is the fact that i'm like. super into the work of spy novelist john le carre. so like. let me tell you a very interesting fact about john le carre's work which you may or may not be able to relate to other media which you enjoy.

so. the protagonists of john le carre's novels are nearly all extremely blatant self-inserts. they share elements of his biography, they share his physical description, they sometimes share similar marital problems (john avery of the looking glass war is a great example of that one. also, le carre's real life first wife, in daily life, went by her middle name, which was... ann. those of you actually familiar with his work have most likely covered your mouths in scandalized shock, though lady ann smiley nee sercombe was apparently based on allison "ann" sharp cornwell in name only. still, if your wife is typing up all your novels for you, i feel like it's a special kind of baffling psychosexual revenge to give her name to a character whose defining trait is her infidelity. especially if you yourself later destroy that marriage by cheating). they even tend to share his academic interests: nearly all of them have a university degree in german language, usually with a focus on poetry. they are also, without fail, totally emasculated and slightly effeminate, and utterly humiliated by these facts.

there are, however, a few exceptions. the protagonist of le carre's most famous novel, the spy who came in from the cold, alec leamas. is very much not a self insert. he's more of a sort of noir protagonist. you get the feeling that le carre was reading a lot of chandler before he wrote spy who. and one of the defining traits that sets leamas apart from le carre's usual self-insert protagonist is that he's masculine. where le carre's usual protagonists have a habit of producing paragraphs of mental dithering and pontificating, leamas is the quintessential man of few words, even in his own head. where le carre's usual protagonists are frequently so shy they are rooted to the spot for fear of embarrassing themselves, leamas is assertive, hostile, and cares nothing for how he's perceived. where le carre's usual protagonists are always slightly embarrassed by their upperclassness, leamas is unapologetically working-class, or working-class-ish (he is described as kind of in-between, but certainly there is a class divide between himself, and, say, smiley, with leamas on the losing end), in a very working-class-ness-as-synecdoche-for-masculinity way.

and this makes him like. a really interesting point of comparison. because it's so clear that leamas is in many ways the ideal that george smiley and john avery and and magnus pym and and and are all castigated by the narrative and most importantly by themselves for not being. so it's interesting to see how le carre defines that.

so, there's this line, from the spy who came in from the cold, that i think about more than any other. it's not leamas' final moments, when he's described as being like an enraged bull. it's not one of jens fiedler's incisive observations about the hypocrisy of the west. it's not liz gold bright-facedly saying she believes in history, or leamas' nihilistic assertion that he doesn't believe the bus will be driven by father christmas. no. it's this:

Leamas, who normally read nothing, read newspapers slowly and with concentration.

when i noticed this line, really paid attention to it, on my second or third readthrough of spy who, it was like a light went on in my head. because this makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. leamas is a spy, and not in the james bond sense. he lives in a wonderland of budget balancing, requests for written permission, and forms filled out in triplicate. he was head of berlin station, which meant that he was an agent runner, yes, but also a paper-pusher extraordinaire. but he struggles to read a newspaper. it was in that moment that i realized that when le carre created leamas, he hadn't created a character. leamas wasn't a man le carre had imagined could ever walk the earth. instead leamas is an emblem of masculinity defined by negative space. he is created not by what he is, but by what he is not.

essentially, when le carre created leamas, he asked himself only one essential question: what is the opposite of me?

how this anecdote relates to the cw's supernatural is left as an exercise for the reader.

[khaleesiofalicante]

ummm, am I the only one who didn't understand your Silverstone joke at all? Dani, love, please elaborate on the jokes sometimes, for us fossil people(yk, coz we live under a rock. Okay, the joke sounded funnier in my head. Okay, I sound like Simon from Shadowhunters s1.)

Also, imagine a mix of iwfy and tlnd. Assholedeus is the current governor of NY. Alec is a candidate for the governor elections. Magnus is Asmo's hot lawyer son. Alec has like high changes of becoming governor. Asmo is not happy about that. He kind of shows up at alec's office, and tries to threaten him to back out from elections. Now, Shinyun is Asmo's Kadir(I forgot Kadir's post in tlnd, sorry). Shinyun hates Asmo but is kinda stuck with him. Her and Magnus both don't want Asmo to be reelected. They decide to make a plan and team up with the opposition (aka Alec). She does research and shit on him, and one day, they show up at his office with a proposal to help him take out Asmo. (Cue Magnus screaming to Shinyun later WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HE WAS HOTTT). Alec and Magnus team up, and they start digging up stuff from Asmo's past, to discredit him, and so that it's easier for him to lose elections. While digging they find Asmo got Magnus Mom killed (for angst), Magnus confronts Asmo, some shit happens. In the process of all this shit, horny hoes also make an appearance (they're malec, of course they'll be horny) shinyun is like done with their pining, and she's like I will glue your lips together if y'all don't kiss, I can't take the sexual tension between you two anymore. We also get to see Shinyun+Alec brotp and them being a badass duo, and just being Magnus's biggest protestors. In the middle, Asmo also pulls some shit to defame Alec (which hits him hard) but Magnus with his beautiful beautiful brain maybe does something to turn it around and make Alec the good guy( Alec is ready to have his babies, but idiot still hasn't told Magnus his feelings). Okay, then shit hits the fan(and maybe something angsty happens) and we finally get Malec confession, with the entire angry love confession (yk the one where one of them screams BECAUSE I LOVE YOU). In the end, Alec ends up killing Asmo, they cover it up and frame someone else( maybe Valentine) then Alec becomes governor, Magnus is a hot shot lawyer, Shinyun is a badass and they live happily ever after (just kidding, after a few years, someone uncovers that Alec murdered asmo and angst 2.0 starts)

Silverstone is a formula 1 reference (it's home race track of lewis hamilton hehe)

AND BRO. BROOOOOOO.

THIS IS A WHOLEASS FIC. OMG. YOU GOTTA WRITE IT. SOMEONE'S GOTTA WRITE IT.

We def need more fics with Alec, Magnus, Shinyun!!!!

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

never have I ever been more offended by any take on TEC like this one lol

Trsom

TLBOTW

also this

Anyways I accidentally stumbled on this person’s blogs and usually I don’t care people can hate malec idc To each their own but-

I see people saying that tec was purely for fan service and like even if it was I don’t see the problem? I mean not everything has to be deep. books can be meaningless (not that tec didn’t have a meaning I love tec).

also not to dish on this person I get hating CC or any book series or whatever but they have spent the past 5 years on this blog hating on every single tsc character like bro are you okay? if you don’t like something move on

Okay, um, LMAO. First of all, rsom.

Yeah it was originally advertised as NA, but it was changed to YA later on. Cassie literally announced it herself??? OP would’ve known if they literally paid any attention to Cassie other than hating on her every moment they got lol 😭

Also,

OP - the final fight was shit

Me, whose favourite part of rsom was the final fight -

Also imagine thinking this entrance wasn’t badass as fuck-

(And also soft as fuck 🥺)

OP Magnus did NOT go all ‘eh 🙄’ when Jace was mentioned just for you to say there’s JaCe WaNk in this book like wth 😭😭😭 (like, okay, maybe Jace is a lil overrated in-universe, but there’s enough self-awareness of that and in-universe acknowledgement too, especially from Simon and Magnus’s POVs).

ALSO. MOST IMPORTANTLY.

Yes, Alec seems different between trsom and cofa, but like??? In trsom Alec specifically states that he wishes never to meet any of Magnus’s exes, and in cofa, he literally meets one of Magnus’s worst exes, in a terrible situation no less. Trsom is literally a vacation, a getaway. There’s a reason the tone of trsom feels so different from any other tsc book (I mean. Hot air balloon dinners and peaceful late night walks while holding hands? Soft dancing and long drives in a Maserati and two and a half whole pages of the softest lazy cuddling you’ll ever see and don’t even get me started on the ending omg). Like, despite the stakes, there’s still something casual and soft and sweet about trsom. Trsom is the literal definition of *slow motion double vision in rose blush* (Taylor Swift, always right). Trsom is Magnus and Alec having rose tinted glasses on, but during cofa the glasses come off and they have to confront the harsh realities of their relationship.

Besides, there was plenty of foreshadowing in rsom for their issues to come. Alec not wanting to meet Magnus’s exes. Alec comparing his life experiences to Magnus’s like they were books. Alec being insecure about Tessa. Magnus thinking about how he couldn’t tell Alec the whole truth about himself lest he lose Alec or even worse, put him in danger (thanks, Ass-hoe-dues 😑). And… did op even read the same book cause like… despite everything, they were still struggling to communicate about some issues in this book. Alec literally goes “ANYWAYS-“ in the middle of a conversation about Magnus’s immortality and his own mortality. Magnus deflects questions about his past so many times. Magnus makes some progress, of course (the fireside scene), but that gets stomped on by end no thanks to Shinyun and Asshoedues. Yay. 😭

*ehem* anyways, onto lbotw

Ok. Listen. First of all - I’m struggling not to cry-laugh rn but - YES ALEC WAS HORNY AS SHIT EVEN THOUGH MAGNUS WAS CHANGING BECAUSE OF THE SVEFNTHORN SO WHAT??? THATS WHY WE FUCKING LOVE HIM??? (Also, OP, these two are very sexually frustrated after spending a good couple of weeks continuously looking after Max give them a break lmao)

Also, I thought the explanation for why Alec could reverse the svefnthorn’s effects was… pretty much self-explanatory?? He’s got the alliance rune, which lets him use warlock magic, hence he survived the stabbing. And he’s a shadowhunter, he’s angel blooded, which along with him being able to use warlock magic (and specifically Magnus’s magic) somehow let him draw the thorn out of Magnus. Idk how to articulate it but you know what I mean???

Also, OP, this isn’t the MCU where you have to watch like 2134 movies and shows to get what’s happening 😭😭😭 like, yeah, the knowledge may seem unnecessary to us but if someone for any reason decided to read only tec then it helps them know what’s happening? 🤷‍♀️ Like, yes all the series are interconnected but each series still manages to stand on its own and that’s kinda neat tbh.

Idk why I’m ranting about every aspect of OP’s posts but anyway yeah lol

ALSO they mentioned having a copy of lbotw???? They LITERALLY bought lbotw with their own money????? I’m seriously laughing right now like BRO. WHY WOULD YOU SPEND MONEY ON SOMETHING YOU DONT LIKE???? You tag all your posts with ‘anti cc’ but you’re giving her your cash anyway like- ma’am there’s only one loser in this situation and it’s not Cassandra Clare 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Honestly I find the last post even funnier now. You would’ve paid money just to see that sex scene, op. Don’t even try lying to me 🤣🤣🤣 Anyway, idk what happened but like… the charity thing didn’t happen???? And I think that’s more important, the fact that she didn’t write Malec’s first time as a lone one shot for charity. (Also, if OP had dug a little deep, they’d have found the first ever snippet of rsom, which was supposedly Malec’s first time but never made it into the book. It’s possible Cassie did start writing that one shot, but then decided to write a whole book, and then cut that scene out because it didn’t fit and wrote the one we have in our books today).

Like, yeah Cassie is problematic sometimes buuuut unlike a lot of other authors, she actively listens and learns and corrects her mistakes. And that’s good enough for me. 🤷‍♀️

And yes!!! Who cares if it’s fanservice or whatever. It’s still queer content. It gives me a shit ton of serotonin. And who doesn’t like serotonin??? I don’t even know what to say to those people cause like… they’re still actively hating on and boycotting a queer book series. Like, idc how they spin it, it’s still gonna look BAD 🤷‍♀️

I didn’t mean for this to get so long sksksksks 😭😭😭

Anyway, thanks for adding someone to my blocklist anon 😘