#im worthy of radically trusting myself

[safesthaveninexistence]

My feelings of worthiness runs unsurpassablyprofoundly deep it immessurably surpasses unsurpassablyprofoundly by over 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999♾️ of antonellamania number of times

[gor3sigil]

hi i dont really know how to introduce myself, so i hope you dont mind if i skip that part.

i just wanted to ask about that post you made a few days ago. in one of the last paragraphs you mention how hatching is painful. but is it supposed to feel like my entire world is cracking apart around me?

what you mentioned in the beginning of the post, about how the people around you felt about masculinity, that very aptly describes a lot of my fears of reactions to me identifying as masculine, which is what started me crying and ultimately spurred me to message you.

im just so scared

i have lots of trans people in my life, i just dont know how to talk about this with most of them (see: Very Scary :C) ive spent my whole life using femininity to take down peoples walls and help them feel comfortable around me. what the hell am i supposed to do as man? can i even still behave that way? will people even still trust me? will they like me? will they feel safe around me? its unbearable. every time i think about it my brain tries to run away, there's just so much fear.

is this normal at all? to be scared like this? i mean, considering i too struggle with the radical feminist narrative you mentioned? i dont believe the narrative, but i fear it. and then i get insecure and i cant stop thinking the insecurity an indication that manhood is the wrong direction for me.

am i making any sense?

Hi, it must've taken lots of strength to write all this so congrats to you. My answer will be based on my own experiences so take it with a grains of salt. Yeah, your world will definitely shatter too. Because even if you're just socially transitionning, if you do so while being surrounded by trans friends, most of them will change the way they percieve you so your interactions may change. I know that's scary, but you have to trust the process. If they're good friends, they won't like you less or anything. That's the hardest part I think. As you read in my post, coming ot made me lose tons of friends, most of them trans, because they treated me badly after I came out.

And yes, you are making sense. I went through the exact same fears as you. The fear of not being deemed as safe anymore. Unfortunately, I don't really have any solutions to offer you, appart from building your own community, online and/or IRL. Like I said, most of my trans friends were kinda crappy about me being masc and I struggled for years to feel comfortable in my masculinity as a result. Because I did the same as you, me being a "woman" was my way of saying that I understood the struggles of others and was safe. Let me stress one thing. You are still okay, you're not a bad person. Even if you discover new things about yourself, even if you're transmasc, even if you're transitionning (if you do), you are still very much the same person as before, with your understanding of a number of issues, with your own pas experiences.

It's a point I really can't stress enough. As I said in my post, you are still worthy of love, support, tenderness, being understood, being heard, being listened to, being comforted. One thing I noticed is that my previous friend tended to dismiss my feelings and/or be "rough" with me thinking that it was "affirming" because I was a man now. Let me tell you that that's BS and don't let anyone treat you this way.

Maybe try to test the water, idk if you came out already or not but maybe in your presentation or just by talking about transmasc specific issues with them, see how they react. That being said, I really do hope that your friends will be understanding. Or that by explaining to them how their behavior is wrong they will understand and act differently, because sometimes people so shit cause they don't know any better. I hope this helps, and I really wish you all the best. If you ever need to talk feel free to reach out again. Take care.

[risnabeaute]

🫧💗✨ Self- Love Needed! 🫧💗✨

hi beautes! 👋🏻♡ ̆̈ I want to share my opinion about self love this time, because yesterday I was feel lost and confused about myself. Having a great concern for your own happiness and well-being is a sign of self-love. Taking care of your needs and not compromising your wellbeing in order to appease others are key components of self-love. Not settling for less than what you deserve is a sign of self-love. Since we all have different ways of taking care of ourselves, self-love can mean different things to different people. Determining what self-love means to you personally is crucial to your mental well-being.

For the enchantment of self-love is something you make for yourself, not something that is thrust upon you, let me ask you to do this. Settle into a calm and serene area, prepare a cup of your favorite tea or coffee, and disconnect from all potential sources of distraction. This will assist you in taking the time and care that you need for yourself. You've already taken a step toward self-love by grounding yourself in this way and giving your all to whatever comes next.

I was really sad yesterday because I feel im not loved, im not worthy of anything and everything getting worst. But I relized I have to manage and controlling myself before myself controlling me, yes that sounds so pity to me but its real. To begin with its not necessary for pursuing radical individualism in order to love myself. It also means letting people love us even when we don't feel worthy of love. Because we tend to punish ourselves severely for not being perfect at loving ourselves, handling our emotions, understanding ourselves, praising ourselves, and feeling confident about ourselves, even when we do our best to do so. We will come to understand that we are never fighting this struggle alone if we allow people in. Then I Ask for assistance what I feel.

Yes, it might be challenging to love who you are. It takes severe consideration and focused action, especially because it's quite simple to give back into feelings of self-love that are accompanied by anxiety, bitterness and and even hatred. In light of this, loving yourself calls for a great deal of courage and strength because it necessitates being honest with oneself and taking a close look at your identity and values. Accepting your flaws, errors, and all of your incorrect turns and poor judgments requires you to embrace everything about you, without exception. This is what it means to love yourself.

You have a generally favorable self-perception when you love who you are. This does not imply that you always have a favorable self-image. That's not easy at all! Accepting yourself for who you are right now, flaws and all, is the definition of self-love. It entails prioritizing your physical, emotional, and mental well-being and accepting your feelings for who you are. And then I slowly love my self, and this 3 ways what I do when I feel unloved:

1. DO NOT LOCKED YOURSELF!!

"My advice to you is please don't ever sit in your room and lock yourself away because you don't think you're good enough" -Catherine Tate

When I was upset at teenage I always locked myself in my bedroom then I cried loud, I felt empty, unloved, angry and unworthy at all. And it really sucks, Please, go outside and see beautifull world! There is one thousand reason to smile, to be grateful for what you have, it is not by compring yourself to others but believed that everyone is so beautifull, learn how to love, look for what makes you happy. Go to coffeshop and read book it really make myself better and You so.

2. Belive in Yourself!

Darling, You glow differently, trust me. The key that opens the ignition and starts the car is similar to the belief we have in ourselves. Honestly, without it, we can't get very far. Thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors that aren't in line with our objectives prevent us from moving forward, no matter how hard we try. Consequently, we either fail to accomplish our goals or we intentionally harm ourselves along the way, sometimes in ways that are evident to us and sometimes completely hidden from us. When I belived myself I feel lived, I feel everything happens for reason and I have a purpose to do. So do you are love.

3. Celebrate Yourself!

The act of appreciating who you are right now—rather than who you hope to become or who you view yourself as—is known as self-celebration. It's about standing in your own strength right now, supporting and believing in yourself. And for any cause, at any time, wherever, you can celebrate who you are. This isn't egoistic.

You know what, I used to think that Im not worth it all to celebrate every accomplishment in my life, I think others have more bigger than mine. I relise its all wrong. I have to celebrate mine too.

For example, my birthday was last month, and many people think it's ridiculous that I still celebrate in my life. Do you truly mean it when you say "it's just another day" or "presents aren't important" or "I'd rather forget it's my birthday"? No matter how strongly you believe their truth, it's your birthday, and let's be honest, everyone wants to feel recognized, even if only in modest ways. My birthday has always been a major deal for me, since I can remember, and I look for every reason to celebrate it during the entire month, as well as inviting my beloved best buddies. So there is a picture of mine when I celebrate myself. Lets celebrate ourself!!!!, xo -Risnabeautes

happiest girls are the prettiest

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒₊˚*ੈ🎀⸝⸝🍓✩‧₊˚˃̵ᴗ˂̵𓍢ִ໋🌷֒✧ ༘ ⋆｡♡✧˚ ʚɞ˚ ༘✿ ♡ ⋆｡

[low-budget-korra]

The Legend Of Korra - Book 5 :Legacy

hi guys whats up? buckle up  and good reading evebody^^

Chapter 05_Friendship and Memories

Asami

-I did not expect that from Mako. - said Korra still demonstrating all his disappointment about the attitude of our ex.

- Yes, I do. - I realize she looks at me in surprise. - Imagine how wounded your pride must have been in knowing that your exes are together? If it sometimes is already difficult for a man to accept that his ex become friends, imagine girlfriends ... -I say.

-Makes sense,- she draws a smile.

I stare at it and then begin to imagine what their relationship should look like. They are totally different ... Just a little clash of opinions to both be disappointed and end up arguing.

-It's just ... I'd like his support, you know?

- Calm down, baby. - i approached. - We knew it would be complicated, did not we? Forget it, okay? You need to focus on today's meeting.- Korra nods and I hug her.

***

- Excuse me, this is a private place and ... A by the Spirits! Avatar Korra! - The man at the entrance of the place spoke. He was dressed like one of Kuvira's soldiers.

- Hey! - Korra speaks a little surprised at the euphoria of the soldier

-Sorry for  have stood against you at the Battle of Republic City ...- The guy begins to explain himself. -All I really wanted to do was to be at home with my mother, and ..."

- It's all right! -Korra says and the guard smiles.

-So ... Is it true what the rumors say? - He asks., with a huge and creepy smile

-And what do the rumors say?- I ask, wondering what it is about. Probably about me and Korra

-You two ...- He looks at me and then looks at Korra. - You guys are  really together?"

 - Yes we are! - Says Korra In a defensive tone

- UHUL! -Shouts the man, scaring the two of us. -I bet fifteen yuans with my neighbor. - Korra and I looked at each other in silence. I dont think any of us knew that our relationship had impacted so much

-Mrs. and Mrs. Avatar, this way,- says the man leading us down a corridor to a palace hall, which once belonged to the monarchy.

When we entered the place, everyone congratulated Korra for defeating Kuvira.

-Thank you, but I'd like to remember that I could not have done it without the help of my friends and Mr. Hiroshi Sato.- My heart races at my father's name. I feel for a moment that I'm about to collapse. Korra notices, squeezes my hand and gives me a serene look followed by a smile. I see Mako staring at us and then, Korra sits down on one of the available chairs and I do the same.

In the next few hours, numerous subjects were discussed. From the political area to the infrastructure plan of the city, in which I manifested myself to contribute with my work for the development of public works, which would not only generate jobs, but would also contribute to the city's economy. Korra further suggested that prices and outputs of industries and farms be controlled, thus controlling inflation and stock formation. Everyone welcomed the suggestion and closed the deal.

Everything settled, except what the elections would be like. No councilor has manifested himself to hold the presidency or to suggest someone worthy of office.

At the end of the meeting, all the councilors said goodbye to us and went on their way. Well, everyone but Mako who left without saying a word to both of us.

-Did you see how he looked at us?- Korra says

-Korra, forget that. He needs some time. -I say trying to reassure her.

-He's had time, Asami!He's been like this since yesterday. -She says irritably.

- Okay, he needs more time then ...

-Girls ...- Wu approaches.

-Wu, what a surprise, we thought you were on tour. - Korra says hugging him.

-And I am, but I would not miss the opportunity to honor the hottest couple of the moment,- he says, hugging me. -That's why neither of you guys accepted my invitations to go out. I knew I had something ... No one rejects an invitation from me - He sketches a convinced smile. -I wonder how Mako got this news. He's still crazy about you, Korra.

Crazy about Korra? Serious? That would explain Mako's negative reaction, which surprised me even as I waited for her.

- He needs to get used to the idea. I say, resting my hand on Korra's shoulder,- which remains silent.

-I assure you he's not the only one." I've heard pretty bad comments about you two ... - Wu says with one hand on the back of his neck.

-Tenzin warned us about it. - Korra says looking at Mako who enters the room again. - I have to go ... Excuse me. Mako, wait! She runs toward the living room.

-You're not going after her?- Wu asks.

- No, I think they need to talk ... - The bond between Korra and Mako was more strong them the one i have with him, there are so alike but also,so different. They need a conversation in private. 

Korra

- Hey, Mako ... - I say entering the room - I need to talk to you.

- Hey, Korra! -He says with a scary smile.

-So ...- I begin, but I'm soon interrupted by him.

-Korra, I was rude and incomprehensible to you two. I should not have said that, much less have left that way. - He starts

-Yeah, and neither look at us the way you looked during the meeting, or leave without greeting us ...- Sorry not sorry for that 

- Yeah ... That too. It was quite immature. Im sorry!

- No problem, Mako. - He smiles and I smile back. -So ... is that okay with you? - I need to know if he supports us. Asami and I enjoyed Mako's friendship and his disapproval made us upset. Even she pretending not to.

-Look, I'm getting used to the idea. I talked to a friend about it and she ended up opening my mind a bit, you know? - He picks up some folders

-A friend, is it?I already liked her. -I smirk, and Mako stares at me. -I'm joking you dick head ... he laughs.

Silence take the space now. 

-You must be working hard,- I break the ice and  he agrees. -How about dinner tonight? Asami and me. Are you and your friend ...? -I say, and for a moment I regret it. I'm pushing too far maybe .

- Okay. I just need to talk to Rubi. May be tomorrow? - He agrees

- Of course! So her name is Ruby? How did you meet? - I ask curiously.

-Korra, leave your questions for dinner, okay? - he says relaxed and I give a slight jerk on his shoulder. -So,i pick you guys... ?

- At eight. - I reply. He confirms before taking the rest of the papers

-I really need to go now. - He walks toward the door. - We'll talk tomorrow.

Mako looks different. We used to end a discussion with another discussion, today we finished one with a couples meeting. Maybe we are both different. I think this meeting may be exactly what we were needing, the three of us.

Bolin

Look at me ... Who knew that one day I would be Zaofu's security officer? I was appointed some time ago by Su who put all  trust in me. I dont think my life could be better. My brother and the rest of the family are fine. I'm here with Opal ... ah ... Opal ... The world is saved and Korra and Asami are the sweetest couple I've ever seen, after Opal and me, of course.

Speaking of Mako, Korra, and Asami, I got a call from my big brother today saying the three of them would be dining together. Well, the three of them, and Mako's new friend Rubi. I really wanted to be present at this dinner, but Zaofu is a little away from Ba Sing Se ...

***

We were all gathered at the dinner table when Lin showed up.

-Sorry to bother you, but,- she looks at Su, -I'd like to know if I can stay here.-

- Sure, Lin. - Su agreeing surprise - Sit  with us. What brings you here?

-Well, I dont know which part of Republic City is messier, whether it's the destroyed part or the part that's under construction. - I notice that Opal hears the conversation as curious as I - All day I get calls in the police department of the residents complaining about the night noises. I went to talk to Reiko about it and he gave me two weeks off.

-Reiko must have asked the workers to work at dawn for the works to finish faster, so far nothing strange. - Su reply .

- True.But It turns out that before I came here, I went to talk to the boss of the workers and found out that some of them are from the pro-equalist movement - Everyone stares at her.

-Are these guys still there?- I ask, surprised. C’mon ,after all this time?!

-Yes. The movement almost died along with Amon, but there are some radicals who do not give up easily. After the leader's death, a few policemen and I made a blacklist of the Equalists. We listed all those who continued to spread their word of hatred. Two of the workers I saw there were on the list-. Lin sits in one of the chairs.

-They may have changed, Lin. -Su, look at Lin, who gives him an apathetic look.

- I hope so. I'd hate to have to fight with these people again, -Lin replies.

***

-Is there a problem, Bolin?- Opal asks, approaching Pabu and me.

-I dont know- I really do not know. After dinner, I decided to come to the garden to play a little with Pabu, but I could not. I was distracted by the conversation I heard earlier.

-Is that what Aunt Lin said?- She sits on the grass next to me.

- A little. It reminded me of the time when I was pro bender. I loved the screaming of the arena and all that adrenaline, you know? I remember the time when the Avatar team was crawling and we still had a big villain to stop. That face, Amon was to give shivers to anyone. - I say, remembering the old days. It's funny how everything changed so fast. Luck that changed for the better. But after what Lin said, I am afraid that this quiet and happy phase we are all living, is over.

I just will say that, the next chapter will be explosive 

[lindwurm-prince]

vent 

internalized everythingphobia warning

in 2014-15 i was super enthusiastic about “queer identities” and microlabels and just. not being cishet in general. and i discovered a lot abt myself, my bisexuality, my not-cis-ness,and it was super fun but like

the novelty has worn off and now im just Tired

im an adult and im going to have to go out in the world and ive been spoiled and sheltered my whole life so ive never experienced bigotry but. if i dont keep my mouth shut im gonna get killed. i have enough trouble as it is, being autistic and mentally ill, so like...i dont need this

but pandora’s box has been opened, i cant just start lying to myself again, i keep hoping that i’ll just magically grow out of it but naaaaah its all. horribly true and correct. and now im stuck.

i dont want to be a goddamn radical statement or an aesthetic or a fucking political entity, i just want to learn and work and succeed and love and enjoy life as me, Quincy, who just happens to be a man with a uterus who’s attracted to people of multiple genders

i’ll stay in the closet my whole life if thats what it takes lol, im a coward, im not worthy of the courageous suffering of the lgbt people, i dont want to live this guilt-ridden lonely nightmare anymore

i know i make posts like this every now and then but like. ever since the pulse shooting, shit hasnt been the same for me. im ridiculously privileged. i have the ability to hide the things that people hate and stigmatize, and if i dont take advantage of that i feel like ill be dishonoring the real sufferers, the people who have actually bled for this. i’ve given nothing, NOTHING!!! i havent been discriminated against a day in my life.

what fuckign gives me the right to appropriate the struggles of a marginalized people, when i can just bottle up my emotions. im never dating anyone anyway, nobody’s interested in me and even if they were i couldnt trust them. and misgendering isnt too bad for me. what the hell, i’ll be their pretty girl. might even be the first female something, empowerment, whatever, i can fake it.

this is not a fucking game