#im working on things other than family bonds too so its very on and off

[dekupalace]

isatcord got this so I'll just drop this family bonds thing here too teehee

[noellefan101]

Your First Date-Genshin pt 3

Characters: Lyney, Freminet, Wriothesley, Neuvillette, Alhaitham x gn reader

Summary: Your first date with them,

Warnings: lyney flirting, tea

Note: omg im finally done, i really liked writing these tho, ye thats all i have to say school literally destroyed my brain, love you

Lyney

he would definitely preform a TON of magic tricks during your first date, both romantic, some are just pretty to look at and then there´s the brother-you're-just-embarrassing-yourself magic tricks

: said ever so kindly by Lynette

wouldn't make your date as public as his shows, since he wants to share the moments and magic tricks with you only

(+ Lynette, Fremi and "father" if she asked him so, but yk, they're only made for you)

after he had given you more rainbow roses than you could ever count to, he set out some homemade goods, like cookies, a cake, cupcakes(whatever you lik)

(in which he definitely didn´t spend a few days learning to make)

overall 10/10 (if you dont ask lynette, she had to leave bc of the amount of secondhand embarrassment(she was there at the start)) and it was enjoyable for u.

Freminet

yes, you would be underwater for your first date, but if you really don´t like it(yet)he can just take you some other time

^^but he would prefer to show take you on your first

[and yes, Lyney and Lynette (+his other siblings at home)did bet on when he would finally confesses and take you on a date]

he would let you wear his diving helmet if you really wanted to, but he would also just wear it if he felt embarrassed, or wanted to tell you a story (most likely abt pers)

he aslo ended up showing you a few of his mechanics(robots?)

and showed you some works in progresses other people haven´t seen, other than him and pers ofc

Wriothesley

he would drink tea with you in his office

^^maybe Sigewinne baked you something too,

but you mainly drank tea and just talked the whole time

(bro likes tea so much, someone pls make him shut up abt it)

well other than showing you and talking about his (absolutely massive) tea collection (and cake/bakery(sry))

if he´ll ever let you talk, ofc he will(its a very unfunny joke), he´ll listen to you for as long as you´d want to talk

you also laughed a little when he told about how melusines and stickers dont work well

and he liked seeing and hearing your laugh, so he might go for a date number two

Neuvillette

he would take you out to a fancy restaurant or he would just sit and talk with you somewhere more private

but maybe include a Melusine passing by here and there, checking on you both or for some work-related reasons (that they then put off, just a little, when seeing you both together)

i imagine that you would try some different types of water with him, by his request, and tried your dam best to find a difference.

but he would also get you any kind of drink, dessert or food you´d like

all in all its pretty easy bonding with him, and he just likes being beside you and spending time with you

Alhaitham

he would take you to a quiet cafe where you could sit in peace, since he doesn´t like loud places and want you two to be alone for the most part

he would pay 100% he doesn't even give you a chance to try and pay for anything (he´s nice when he wants to be)

he definitely brought a book with him to read(+ one for you) and would either let you talk while he reads a "little", or he would just read out loud so you know what kind of books he likes

he´s not good at doing any kind of romantic things, but he did try and do something

that including:

taking you out on the date later in the evening so he later could show you the stars, and point out some constellations

asking your friends (and maybe family) what you like food-wise, so he knows what kind of place he should have in mind when picking the place of your date

thank you for reading i don´t think i´ll make any more of these, but if you want it i´ll do it, luv ya-Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

[raggstorice]

FLASH HEADCANONS!

Where I take a fandom and give a Headcanon for Every. Single. Character.

Twisted Wonderland! #1

Here we go!

Riddle: whenever a bug lands on him he freezes. Just stops.

Ace: His parents always shut down his beliefs. Very much a 'Stay in line and You'll be fine' type of family. (If requested I will rant on my HC Ace backstory)

Deuce: He calls his mother every day and one day she just starts crying and is all like 'Im so proud of you. You've changed so much and I love you.' and Deuce started crying too.

Cater: Does not actually care that much about Magicam. He just needed something to base his personality off of.

Trey: Uses southern insults All. The. Time. People talk to him and he's just 'Well good for you!' and people think he's the nicest.

Leona: If you put a weighted blanket on him he will just fall over like that one scene in Lilo and stitch.

Ruggie: Knows everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. Try to introduce him to someone new and he'll just be like 'OMG my old friend!' yeah.

Jack: Named his cactus Paula. Also Talks to it and uses it like a doll. (Like that one scene in DRDT)

Azul: His first experience with a land dweller was when he saw a coin fall from the surface and he followed it. There was a language barrier so he couldn't talk to them. He wonders how they're doing some days.

Jade: Had a bonding moment with Jack over their love for plants (mushrooms and cacti) also eats mushroom-spinach pizza (like me!)

Floyd: He bites. Also he's banned from playing against other schools in Basketball because of the sheer amount of fouls he gets. Jamil is so done.

Kalim: Will summon a rainbow to cheer someone up. He's precious.

Jamil: Doesn't actually hate Kalim. He just needs to be mad at someone. Oh also he cooks for the Basketball club and brings food to practice. Ace is his biggest fan.

Vil: Godly eye makeup. He's the one who gave Rook his feather in his hat.

Epel: Bad Ass Mother Fucker. He prefers to fight with his tounge rather than his fists. The only one to realize Trey's passive aggressiveness.

Rook: Will bring back fresh meat from his hunts. Him and Jade bring the best ingredients to the Cafeteria and no one knows.

Idia: one time he hid from people in an empty classroom for several hours after school. Ortho almost sent a search party.

Ortho: Spends hours analyzing his friends. Like as a hobby. He brings them perfectly planned gifts and they all love it.

Malleus: Lilia cuts his hair. He also polishes his horns. He secretly really enjoys Sebek's loyalty just wished he was quieter.

Silver: Takes care of the horses so well. They love him and will only accept food from him.

Sebek: He can be surprisingly quiet if you ask nicely. He gets loud again if he gets worked up. Autistic.

Lilia: He loves his sons. He ends up taking care of the whole Campus. No one in NRC can take care of themselves properly so he does it. Mockingbird by Eminem coded

Crowley: He shows up randomly and helps students. Lilia is taking a student to the infirmary? He's there and takes them for him. Leona is asleep in the botanical garden? Crowley kicks him away from the path. The teachers are so done with the chaos and are ready to combust? He's there. He will make the chaos worse and somehow contain it at the same time.

Crewel: He stays stocked up on potions ready to help any students that are ill, tired, or in any sort of pain. He will let you sleep in his classroom and will pull you into his office if he thinks somethings up. Many students have cried in front of him.

Trein: Will go out of his way to include history not taught in textbooks. Stuff about gay rights, racism, trans right, war crimes, fun facts about political leaders, etc. He does it all in the most monotone voice ever.

Lucius: The best cat. Used to be a stray wandering campus. Will bring gifts to students it likes. Recognized Leona as one of its own.

Vargas: Always down to help students. Oh you have Asthma? Good thing I have SEVENTEEN EXTRA INHALERS. You seem to be struggling a little why don't you sit down? Exercise without rest is as good as no exercise at all.

Sam: Will give freebies to students who need it. Oh you skipped lunch to study for a test? Good thing I have a sandwich just for you! Your pen broke? Which one do you want? Also will tell you all the tea.

Grim: Whenever he eats those blot crystals he suddenly knows all of the victims trauma which he reports to Yuu.

Yuu: Has serious conversations with Overblot victims. The best non licensed therapist.

Authors Note: It's 1:23 AM. I'm going to sleep.

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

Please tell me about your ocs!! IM HUNGRY GRRR

helloow omg ! im so honored you want to know more about my ocs aaahhh!! :D my moot @kovu-bunnbunn also wanted to know more so i figured i could do it now !!

i have a bunch of ocs but I’ll just talk about my main oc ryoko right now !!

her full name is ryoko ‘007’ aizawa. I’ll explain the 007 in a minute !! she’s aizawa’s adoptive daughter.

her parents (her dad more specifically, her mom was more of a bystander) are both from very wealthy families and merged. Her parents had an arranged marriage and after some chatter to get to know each other they’re conversations take a little bit of a turn..and inbetween bonding about their favorite movies oop! A lil comment about how the world would he better off without heroes..oh you think so too ? Well look at that, we have so much in common!! long story short they both decide that the want to create something that will be able to take down all might and the entirety of hero society and it’s restrictions,,and I’m pretty sure you can guess what that something was ! nine months later ryoko is born yipeee…!

during her entire pregnancy ryokos mom went through some quirk experiments (sponsored by doctor garaki 👍) because they knew that with both their quirks alone they wouldn’t be able to create a super weapon. (ryokos dad has an overhaul type quirk, and her mom has a healing sort of quirk) so they did some experiments hoping something would change in the womb, and when she was born the kept on doing experiments until she started manifesting a quirk w no attributes from her either of her parents and manifested a fully different quirk than she was originally meant to have,

since she had those experiments done ryokos body adapted to be able to handle her quirk, but it’s not perfect unfortunately.

heres a simple little chart of how it works ! (BTW I DO NOT DRAW LIKE THIS ANYMORE THIS IS OOOOLLLLDD😭😭😭😭)

her quirk is a lot like neijires as in she uses her own energy and converts it into power ! The amount she uses shows in her hair :3 ryoko tho, unlike neijire can do multiple things from sending blasts, to powering herself up to make parts of her body stronger, to making it hard objects like stepping stones she uses to navigate and weapons like dual swords or chains to restrain ppl !! she can also drain other peoples energy (and from her surroundings, but thats only in 100% mode ! ) because of the fact that her body had been modified, ryoko can carry more energy into herself than regular people which is why she can drain energy without any major drawback to a certain extent ! However, her drawbacks are way more severe, overusing her quirks makes her sleepy and drowsy, it gives her nosebleeds and very worse case scenario if she were to have too little or too much energy she could die :0 !!

(ALSO !! I lil extra tidbit: ryoko is capable of sensing peoples energy’s if she concentrates hard enough, it works better if shes seen them before, but she can sense all the energy in humans in her surroundings or if she has a picture, tho it’s slightly weaker and is limited to one person at a time. This is a form of remote viewing that i gave her bc of my obsession w stranger things i had !!😭)

its a pretty powerful quirk that her parents and other scientists knew they could use well, but unfortunately for them ryoko ended up liking heroes (she was barely educated, so she had no idea that she felt admiration for heroes and especially all might, she was alsovaguely aware that she was taught to do the wrong things, because she’d be forced to use her quirk on robots/ small animals in some cases.)

her parents weren’t supposed to feel any affection towards her so they decide to just give her a code name 007 :D which i realized a little too late was the same as james bond..woops😭

anyways fast forward to the biggg “earthquake” incident, shes rescued by a group of heroes, eraser head included :D unfortunately shes detained in tartarus since her being in a constant state of panick set her quirk off and she couldn’t stay in a regular hospital so ryoko has canonically been to tartarus as a inmate at the age of 4 😭! Oh forgot to mention this, but ryoko got her quirk veryy early due to the experiments done before her birth and after.

since ryoko cant control her quirk an aizawa can cancel them, they’re a pretty good matchup !! Fast forward some more and shes living with him ! he adopts her and lets her go to school, where she meets izu n katsuki and they quickly become friends because. Of COURSE. My main ocxcanon ship is a CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS ONEEE😭😭😭😭will i ever stop. raise your hand if you’ve ever seen that one comin

lmk if you want to know more about her or other ocs ! I didn’t wanna ramble TOOO much so this is all the basic info!! plus some drawing of her

two of them r completely credited to horikoshi cus i used ochaco n hagakure as a base !! I accidentally have two in normal mode and two in 100% or overdrive mode as she calls it (tho one of them is a soul eater au :3) ! Both made by me :3

Much luvvv xxxx!!! And thank you Sooo much for your ask again💗💗💗💗

[asmogorna]

Sorry to send another ask so soon (and idk if someones asked this already) but if you have any headcanons for Jon I'd love to hear them!

OK SO im really sorry it took me THIS long to get to this i quite literally.. forgot i had smth in my inbox woopsies. the reason i remembered is cause mootie posted some Spine hcs and i was like "woah"

alsooo im not good at putting my thoughts onto "paper" especially in english so you will have to excuse me

anywho my jon headcanons some sad some random /ref

First of all i think that his relationship with Peter Walter I would be far from close. he would be seen as the type of child who's both "too much mess to take care of" and "strong enough to take care of himself" if that makes sense. Peter did love him as his creation but would openly admit that he's not his proudest one, meanwhile Jon wouldn't feel much connection at all. he sympathized with his creator but only in a way he would with any other human being, there was more gratitude than love

Jon struggles with constant malfunctions and his mechanisms are a mess (partially because he gets himself in trouble all the time), so at one point Peter would get tired of fixing him so frequently, and tell him that he can just "walk some things off". That thought stuck to the bot and he would think of all of his malfunctions as slight inconveniences, i mean, he can still perform so why pay attention to the constant neck pain or powering up struggles ? it just became a habit and he kind of forgot that things like that shouldn't be ignored

After a long while when Peter Walter VI grew up enough to start learning more about how automatons work, Jon would be used as a "lab rat" (not really but its just what he himself called it) for young VI to practice fixing mechanisms. thats pretty much when he heard "Wait this cant be right" about his messed up physical state for the first time in a long while. little Peter didnt get to fix all of the things that were wrong with Jon's body, but he did manage to take care of some of them, which almost surprised Jon with how nice it felt to not hear pieces of broken gears rattle in his head every time he moved (who wouldve thunk)

ok now to more lighthearted stuff !!

Jon actually has a very strong bond with Sam ! He loves watching the mustached man work and sometimes follows him around, just enjoying his company. At first Sam thought that the tone-gold automaton was creepy and uncanny, but grew attached to him and his stupidity (/lh). i also think that Sam would be one of the few Walter workers who dont baby the Jon and actually treat him like they would treat any other robot :3

Also Jon just loves his robot family endlessly. shocker !! im not sure how explain it but i think hes the only one to look at other Walter automatons and go "bro i love them so much" at all times. in his head at least. obviously he teases them and argues with them but he wont think twice before accepting a hug from his siblings (except for Upgrade theyre rivals /j)

Speaking of Upgrade !! They feel the most sibling-ish to me (aside from Rabbit & The Spine) because they constantly poke fun at each other yet they still are willing to give each other help and comfort when needed. She once had to carry him all the way back to the Walter manor because they forgot to take some extra cans of crystal pepsi

Also Upgrade got in an accident once which caused her to have a fractured face for a couple of days, and Jon was there the entire time to comfort her and constantly tell her that shes still very pretty

Unlike with other robots, the food that Jon eats doesnt just fall through his uncovered jaw/run into his boiler or anything like this, instead it just. disappears. once he closes his mouth the food just vanishes into the unknown, yet Jon claims that he enjoys the process of "eating" (nobody knows how it works)

LITTLE GIRLS THAT GO TO SPG SHOWS LOVE HIM !! once the band finishes performing, he constantly gets pulled away by a small giggling pink-ish blob to join their tea party or hula hooping contest. thats why he has quite a knowledge on "girly" themes and educates other automatons on the matter

THATS IT FOR NOW TY FOR READING :3

[danikamariewrites]

believe me when i say that your blog is AWESOME, AMAZING, im in love with your writing, i think it's the most beautiful thing in the world and i want to say thank you for sharing your talent with us. if i could marry one of your fanfics, i would do it without hesitation. 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 .now that i said my thoughts about your amazing blog, i have a request... MODERN rowaelin x reader.

🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️ (fancy clothes, expensive phones, cars...) i would LOVE to see a fanfic of them in the modern world with reader🧎🏻‍♀️😫 .

no pressure, take your time, stay safe, eat healthy, sleep well, and drink water 🫂💜

Modern!Rowaelin x reader headcanon

A/n: thank you! That’s so nice of you to say and I’m so happy you like my writing (trying to make it my career if Hollywood can get its shit together lol). I love this concept, it’s amazing and I had to write it bc Aelin would thrive as modern day princess/queen.

Sending you love bestie ❤️

Warnings: none

Modern!Rowaelin would be a fucking power couple (and with you a power trio)

Let’s say for this hc that Aelin and Rowan are just a rich couple that come from old money. I’m talking old New England money but they give it a new look bc Aelin likes new stuff, Rowan is like the antique collector in the relationship

When you met they were shopping for art at the gallery you worked at

You had just graduated college a year or so ago and this was your entry level job in the art world. You were actually very familiar with the pieces the gallery sold and you have an insane memory for art history

Aelin and Rowan came in to buy a few pieces for their new apartment in the city so you showed them a few pieces since the owner was busy

The three of you hit it off and they offered to take you out to dinner once you finished with work

You met them at the five-star restaurant that was in their building and that’s when they asked you out. “We knew once we met you we had a connection. If you don’t feel the same way please feel free to reject us and we can pretend this never happened.” Aelin said

But you had felt an instant connection with them too. You felt safe and at home around them. You knew you needed to be with them

After that night you moved in with them and they talked you into quitting your job and working for their clients as an art collector

It was like a dream come true

Aelin and Rowan spoiled you with love, attention, and gifts

You weren’t always a material person, you grew up getting things you asked for that were within your family’s budget but this was a whole other level

After a year of being with them they gave you a credit card, “unlimited spending baby. Anything you want it’s your.” Rowan said kissing you on the cheek

Shopping sprees with Aelin were the best! Those were your bonding trips and when you truly got to know each other. You talked about everything while wandering the aisles of high end department stores, trying on shoes and clothes

Lingerie shopping was the most fun since you would pick out pieces that would drive him crazy (and each other)

There may have been a time or two where you both couldn’t keep your hands to yourself in the changing room

With Rowan your bonding time was going on walks or runs or him teaching you how to work out at the gym

When you were out in nature with him that’s when you saw him most relaxed (besides at home)

Your yearly summer vacation is always to Cape Cod

Both their families have beach houses there but they wanted their own in a different area, so they bought one just before they met you

The house is huge and you obviously use it more than once a year but you always had those set 2 weeks in July that you would go

No work. No distractions. Just the 3 of you, the beach, and fun times

You and Aelin of course demand the best lobster rolls which Rowan gets for you

Ice cream every night after dinner

And they buy you all the souvenirs you want

Two days before you were set to leave, you and Rowan were packing. You folded he put away (he’d never admit it but he’s awful at folding clothes but he tries)

Aelin came running into the bedroom with a shit eating grin on her face that told you two she wanted something, “Row, y/n/n.” “Yes Aelin.” You responded in unison

“I just realized we need something for the Cape house that we don’t have.” Rowan rolled his eyes, “And what would that be, Fireheart?”

“We don’t have a Jeep!” You and Rowan shared a look. “Ok A, so what do you suggest?” Aelin clapped her hands together in excitement “We’re going to get one obviously.” “Right now!?” “Yes Rowan. Come on you’re driving.”

She rushed back out of the room and you followed her as Rowan let out an exasperated sigh, tilting his head back

45 minutes later you were all sitting in the Jeep dealership

Not only did you leave with a Jeep wrangler, but she also managed to find a beautiful jet black convertible Audi

Aelin insisted you bring both to Cape Cod and of course Rowan gave in to her

[lazaruspiss]

BREASTFEEDING GONE SEXUAL 👀👀👀👀

it sounds waaaaayyyy funnier than it actually is, and its a big multi chapter one. at first it was just "what if jaydick breastfeeding kink" but it ended up veering into dark fic pretty much immediately. content warning: domestic abuse, grooming, forced miscarriage, probably other stuff. idk man, this ones nasty

the outline is at 18 chapters but i havent gotten close to figuring out a conclusion so it would definitely end up longer. im trying to figure out how to describe it... omegaverse and mpreg, u could probably guess that from the title. bruce is so awful that even i feel like its branched into OOC territory? im bruces number one hater and even im looking at this plot like "hey now. thats a bit much."

starts out as brudick (very stockholm syndrome-y) but transitions it jaydick (codependent and weird. sibling, mother-puppy, generally unhealthy but in a mutually destructive way as opposed to just being abusive like brudick is in this) and i think (?) ends in a sort of. very traumatized household. idk i think killing everyone off might be easier than making them cope or whatever.

ueghhh why can i not understand my own notes. ok. no capes. alpha bruce, omega dick (15 at the beginning, 18 after a timeskip in the middle), and this pup bruce brings home in the hopes that itll distract dick from complaining about being pregnant. bruces pro gamer strat backfires but thats later. dick has baby dami bc whatever, i say it so thats how it is.

ohh wow. yeah i havent worked on this in a while. bruce kicking out a pregnant 18 y/o and a 14 y/o to fend for themselves is the /good/ timeline. i have too many notes to remember all this so ur getting my live reaction to rereading whatever the fuck past me was into.

okokok i thing im getting somewhere. first chunk is dick-jason-baby developing as a family while bruce is. hm. hes just a shitbag pretty much. plot pushing bad guy. timmy is also there, peeking his lil head above the fence kinda guy. jason turns out to be an alpha, bruce seems happy to now begin alpha father-son bonding activities and starts keeping him away from dick. blah blah sexism or whatever. bruce gets dick pregnant again, jason takes care of him like he did the first time dick was pregnant but bc hes an alpha now bruce gets pissy about it. jaydick happens, theres a bit of a choose ur own adventure at that point where bruce either throws them both out or uh. how do i put this. baby be gone? via violent and non doctor recommended method? yeah. and thats pretty much where past me got stuck.

[jils-things]

HIHIII FOR THE S/I ASK GAME. 3, 9, 15, and 16 FOR AINE OR IRENE? THANK YOU 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

NAUR I GOT EXCITED CUZ THIS IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SET OF OCS OMG YES. THANK YOU. DOING BOTH BECAUSE YES..

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self insert?

i dont think many would actually know aine's... present because she's holed up in her house for so long... probably her relatives only know about her existence wiwiwi but! she's generally very shy and quiet, not very used to talking to others! but she tries her best to be sweet :3

irene is ... probably envied by many people! i mean she's part of a prestigious family and she's very pretty! she's not like most women of her age who can be pretty uptight (at least i think so...) - she's very humble about her wealth and doesnt go out of her way to shove how fortunate she is... its all because of her old past that she's very gentle and considerate :3

9. who are your self insert’s closest friends?

unfortunately as i've said earlier, poor baby aine doesnt have much friends, but she's very, very close and trusting of her gallade who acts as her best friend and guardian no matter where she is. she always finds comfort in gallade. but if i had to pick one person who would be her close friend, it would be erika - i think she'd help aine be more relaxed and less nervous about herself and sleepy times together LAFDKSLKFSKA. i wanna plug blake into the story as well, i can totally see him to be a big brother to aine and i picture blake to be more friendly! aine needs nice company, she needs it for sure ;; softcore version of color pallet trio . cold pallet trio if you will. bye

right off the bat, i just told myself "yes irene and emma are best friends" emma probably provides the best chamomile and irene looooves tea. they bond over that heheheh. maybe helena and tracy too! i have such soft spots for them and i really like them! irene definitely doesnt like nobles that much (i excuse reynold however. eheh). i would include naib, but i dont think it would work out? im just biased wiwiwi

15. how does your self insert play a role in the plot of the story? do they help directly defeat the villain, support the heroes, etc.?

AINE STOPS THE ACTUAL FROSTBITE. THAT IS ALL. IM TOO SHY TO TALK ABT ***VELVETSHIPPING HERE IM SORRY WHDASDSAHJFHJFSASF </3333 he stops caring about trying hard for himself to be stronger and helps aine out instead and feels that she deserves better and focuses on that <3

irene umm,, gives him,,, the love and care he lacked as a kid,, wiwiiw,,, she takes him in after the explosion and nurses him to health and they confess they like each other and they promise to figure things out from there and shes dead serious about taking him into a better place because he's gone too far to make ends meet WEEWEFGGFGF MY BRAIN IM (BLEATS PATHERTICALLY)

16. freebie! name a fact about your self insert you want everyone to know.

aine has two "endings" on what happens when she sees him. one is the happy route where, yk, they get along, yadda yadda, romance, bonding, all that jazz. the second ending is... a little more unfortunate. basically she was a bit too late, because he's frostbitten now, and she regrets leaving her home and will probably stay at home more often now because the world is much more terrifying than she suspected. poor girl

irene is made with the purpose of wanting to ship with someone in the game yes - but the plot twist was that i was not actually crushing on no.rton at the time (he was just a fav) but found him to be a cute match with irene and i did just that. and then my dumbass fell for him shortly after HSAJKFHJAFHSFJSA im so doopid woawwww....

[roseriot2191]

Entry 1/Introductions

hey!

so i really havent used tumblr before really so im not sure if this is the best place for what im doing but regardless im posting it here

~welcome to my blog~

the purpose is to document my life as a whole but its also my senior year so even more reason to record it!

this blog will be my safe space to spill anything, the good and the bad, of my upcoming life. in all honesty im not sure how well ill keep up with posts or how much effort ill end up putting into them but i will try to update at least once a week for sure.

ok so now onto me :)

hello again! im rose, i use he/they pronouns and i am 17. for anyone wonder, which i dont know why but i guess i can just state it to get it out of the way, im a cis queer guy. i use queer as my label because i very much dislike labels for myself lmao. im attracted to men way more often than not but if the right person for me isnt a guy the im not going to let gender/sex get in the way of love and im not sure pansexual really fits the way i feel. queerness ill say is a part of me but not something i identify with as much as i did in middle school. ill make a separate post about this perhaps. (ill mention that my name isnt actually rose irl and its just my pen name for the blog. i have no reason to be secretive really besides to hide my identity from friends, family and people who think they might know me, especially with the topics i might write about, but also i didnt put too much effort into disconnection rose and myself so if youre one of my irl friends, hi :p ) i am a high school student, but i am mostly taking college classes at a community college. im a photo major! photography is a recent thing that i started basically the same time i started college. i sorta took a leap into photo classes and decided that i might as well major in it since ive always been a creative person and since my high school was paying for my tuition. honestly college has been really fun but its school and sometimes i get burnt out really easily which sucks. ill probably talk about this more some other time. i havent really decided on a style of photography that i prefer yet but this fall ill start a portraiture lighting class as well as a color theory class, both im really excited for.

recently ive found myself changing or perhaps growing into a more typical "teenager" recently. this growth is a drastic change from who i was as a kid and that sort of scares me but i think i like the idea of who i can become. i started taking an interest in cars which sort of came out of know where. it might be because i got my license last december and have been driving a lot more but its also rooted in my ex too. (at the begging of this summer i got into a relationship with this guy who was my first everything, and we also ended it in july which hurt hella but again this is a topic for another post later) he was a total car guy and it was something we were bonding over. he would teach/talk about cars and i listened and started to take an actual interest. we went to a few car shows and it was honestly a prefect date/hangout for us because he liked cars of course but i also got to bring my camera and take photos. definitely something i miss doing. my first car was a 2004 honda pilot. it was a manual and i tried learning how to drive it and i got the gist but ended up selling it and getting an automatic 2006 honda pilot lol. this car ive had since february and its lowkey dying now which pisses me. my grandpa was the one who ended up buying it for me which i appreciate very much dont get me wrong but he bought it off these sketchy guys and didnt get it checked out right away for any problems and now im paying extra money in repairs. currently im trying to save for something more "extra" like a mustang or a bmw or honestly an older honda like a prelude or accord, though on my salary as a host in a small restaurant i have barely $4.5k saved and i started work about the same time i got the 06 pilot. i know these cars are a bit on the pricey side but im giving myself till new years to save for something and if i dont find anything by then, ill keep my money in savings for college after i graduate. (that is with the hopes my 06 pilot lasts me through that long :,) )

so yeah. i work as a host at a restaurant. its my first job and i honestly really like it. i get paid $16.50 an hour and i get tipped out by the waitresses on top of that. on average i make about $500 in a pay period which is two weeks. i wish i had more hours but also i dont. i usually use work as an excuse to procrastinate or completely ignore school work which is really self destructive because i convince myself that im productive but in reality i need to be more focused on school. my work ethic is pretty good though i think. i always say yes if someone needs a cover or if i need to come in ealry/on a day off. after the break up i took a bunch of extra shifts and started taking caterings for longer hours and to keep me busy. in the past 2 pay periods i clocked about 50 hours each and made $850 each. this has again been really nice for savings but not for my summer classes. this pay period i had a double catering and i should clock in about 40 ish hours. ill have one more pay period after this one before i will talk to my manager about scheduling me only friday-sunday and see about scheduling me caterings more rather than hosting since i make more that way. theyre pretty good about accommodating hours/days which is really cool but my manager always complains. i feel bad but also i really shouldnt because i need to do better in school first and i already do so much more than what i get paid for honestly so she really doesnt have any reason to say anything. (especially since we just hired 3 new girls after the summer hires left) all my coworkers love me but also everyone shit talks eachother behind their backs so i always wonder if they say anything about me lol. if they are then they should put that energy somewhere else because how are you guys gonna shit talk a 17 year old when you all are 25+???

my music taste is the opposite in regards to changing drastically. i find myself returning to the music i grew up with and even expanding with similar artists. for a quick family overview my step dad who raised me since i was three was/is a tattoo artist and very much in the punk scene. my mom was in the artistic performance and alternative scene. both these adults raised a very punk baby with all the classics and now like i said, after not really interested or listening to music often for awhile, im back to my roots. this is very comforting however when me and my ex were dating he was a big influence in the reintroduction. so do i corrilate some music to him? yes. does it hurt? im not sure. its very confusing but i listen to it on blast regardless and will most likely have hearing problems by the time im 30 T~T a lot of what ive been listening to on repeat is radiohead which was "our band" and i still think it is. im a very sentimental person and cant/wont diconnect these feelings probably ever. i do this a lot. this time though i havent had the urge to stop listening which is a reliefe because i enjoy the music but also because i think itd hurt me if i found hate or sadness in the music rather than the love and bond we once shared through these songs. something ive been considering is posting a song with every post or at the very least at the end of the week. maybe even a playlist at the end of the month? not sure yet. i think music tatse is something that changes with me all the time so its something worth recording here. oh also i def will post cd hauls here too! i have a small collection started but definetely wanna get more.

lets see i dont read often but my favorite books are alice in wonderland, the warden's daughter, they both die at the end, coraline and currently i am reading solitaire by alice oseman. ive read her heartstopper series and have taken a serious interest in tori's story. for my favorite shows i binge watch shows so often and then forget about them just as fast as i watch them lol. i really like soul eater, downtown, daria, the midnight gospel, the walking dead, initial d, madoka magica, and some others i cant think of right now.

hmm~ i cant really think about anything else to write at the moment, plus ive been typing for awhile and should get to bed, so i think ill end it here.

i dont really expect anyone to read this blog in all honesty but its something i wanna do for myself and if a few people take interest or relate to anything i talk about i think thats enough :)

[wishi-selfships]

Hii I’d love to hear more about the nayuta plot point!!! I genuinely love ur self inserts lore 😭 I’m someone who also has plot points and very like detailed lore for my own s/i and I’m v interested in others’ as well :P

HAII AGAIN ANON ^^!!!!! WHEHE IM HAPPY U LIKE HER LORE !!! Even tho I have . Not really told much about it (because she has even MORE but I'm working on writing it all out coherently)

SO!! That Nayuta plot point :3c Well usually/canonically, since Gabi was in part 1 and stayed w// Denji at the end of Part 1, she met Nayuta w// Denji, so she and Nayuta bond ☆

In this case, then, Nayuta sees Gabi as like an older sister!!! But like that sort of older sister who's really more like a mom than anything (which also means she's fine w/ Gabi being affectionate with Denji :3c EVEN THO SOMETIMES SHE GETS JEALOUS OF DENJI [she wants Gabi hugs too >:/])

But in the case of Gabi only being present in part two (in that sort of AU), its.. a little more tricky. Because Nayuta is very protective and possessive over Denji so normally I feel like she wouldn't be cool with GabiDen :< So the only thing I could think of was giving Gabi and Nayuta a previous sort of connection, but how was I supposed to do that ??

Sooo I kindaaa,,, took some liberty with this AU and changed some things about the timing of Nayuta appearing on earth / where she appeared.

So for this AU, I wanna say the time between when Nayuta reincarnated on earth and when she was brought to Denji was maybe 4-5 months? Where she reincarnated sometime in April and Kishibe brought her to Denji in August/September. And instead of showing up in China, she shows up in America. I remember mentioning the whole thing with Gabi going back to America for a sort of "spin-off" (which isn't really a spin off but again that's a whole other can of worms) in the normal canon, but Part 2 Only!Gabi does that too. Difference is that because she's not involved in the part 1 plot, she does that a little earlier.

Which!!! Gives her the opportunity!!! To run into Nayuta during her time in America. She just runs into this homeless looking child and goes ○□○! And she takes her in!! Because why wouldn't she? And during the time they spend together in America, Nayuta gets a taste of love !!! Real familial love!!! The type that makes her feel all warm and safe and it makes her feel all at home when she's with Gabi.

Shenanigans ensue, and eventually Kishibe finds out that Nayuta is in America and is with Gabi, contacts her thru Yoshida (pretty sure I mentioned she and Yoshida are friends??), and takes Nayuta off Gabi's hands. Obviously it's a little more complicated because Gabi doesn't wanna give Nayuta up but she's eventually convinced. Mostly because Gabi's little adventure in America is starting to get kinda dangerous and she doesn't wanna put Nayuta in any danger.

But before Nayuta is taken to Japan Gabi promises her that they'll meet again!! And that she loves Nayuta and that she only wants what's best for her •×• Gives her a lil gift too but I haven't figured out what it was 💭

SO FAST FORWARD A LIL WHILE !!! Asa/Denji/Gabi "hangout" at Denji's place, that whole thing plays out and Yoru smooches Denji, Nayuta comes and does her little thing ☆ And she's about to shoot the chain thing through Gabi's head as well (cause she was nearby lmao) until she pauses and like. Takes a better look at her.

"... Gabi •^•?"

"...NAYUTA Ó□Ò💧!?!?"

And just like that Gabi gets a free pass from being turned into a dog. Well OBVIOSULY yk there's like... Some sort of explanation from Gabi (to Denji who is so confused because how does the cute girl from school know his little sister figure?) - and it definitely helps that Gabi wasn't the one to actually kiss Denji - but in the end Gabi sort of gets spared from that fate =×= although Nayuta gets like. Really super clingy and tells Gabi she can't leave but. That gets resolved and Gabi gets to leave.

Although even if Nayuta did do that funny little chain thing, it wouldn't actually work because of Gabi's "contract" she made with Wishi, which sort of makes her immune to mental devil attacks? Like she can totally be attacked physically but mental attacks just kinda bounce off. But do they know this? No !!! Not really !!!

... am I making sense? I feel like I've just been rambling all silly like 😵‍💫 BUT IM J REALLY PASSIONATE AND ALSO NOT GOOD AT EXPLAINING!... But I'm happy you like her lore anon 🫶🏽 Yk if you ever wanna share your inserts lore, well,,, I think I'd be really interested :0!!!

[whoseafraidofliloleme]

I AM HERE FOR THE SECOND TIME TODAY AND I HAVE A LOT TO SAY!!! FIRST OFF I LOVED EVERYTHING ABT THIS STORY!!!!

the actual enemies (or at least very bitter rivals) to lovers, the drama, the chois showing up all of a sudden like what???? it was better than i could have expected

i think this yn is my fave yn so far. which is saying a lot but she felt so real!! her struggles with her self-esteem and learning that she's nore than what her family told her to be and that she deserves to be loved and cherishes both platonically and romantically <333

AND I HAD SMTH ELSE TO SAY ABT ONE CHAPTER IN PARTICULAR BUT I! CAN'T! REMEMBER!!!

anyways i think i said pretty much all i needed to say in the tags but i loved this smau sm <3 fave character obviously our dear ynwon shipper. or beomgyu. actually it's probs beomgyu i love him <33

a final question: why did you decide to add beomgyu, yeonjun and soobin? did you have it planned from the start, like them specifically? and who was YOUR favorite character??

i'll be reading your new(ish) ynwon au probably not tomorrow but the day after bc i'm gonna have a busy day (9h & a half of classes and then i'm going to a 2010 pop themed party! fun!!)

as always, have a good night and i hope you're doing ok <3 if you're ever not, you can always talk to me <33

ITS ME, HI IM THE PROBLEM ITS ME!! *ANTI HERO BEING MY ANTHEM SAYS A LOT ABOUT ME*

Moving on from that, I'm glad you loved the story so much. It's always wonderful to know that readers love what I write. Like yeah I mainly wrote for myself but the praise tho I feel it's unneeded (I'm always gonna be finding things I couldve done better 😂).

Honestly this story really took a life of its own. I say that with every smau tbh, I start with one idea and then by the end it's a different but still somehow similar idea that I started it 😂.

I'm so glad this YN is ur fave. She's struggling so much even if everything was okay cause her inner demons were always there, they didn't disappear and her learning to lean on those around her, accept that she is loved and cared for was very important to me.

I also was very cautious in that I didn't villainize YN for these very real feelings that everyone feels.

God knows I've been through moments of self hatred and I wanted to show that it's never as bad as you think. You might think your all alone but there is always someone there for you to talk to. I know that YN frustrated readers when she let her insecurities get in the way of her happiness but that is a reality that sometimes you get so in your head that you think what your doing is best when it isn't.

Sorry went on a whole tangent abt this YN 😂😅.

I loved your reactions in the tags, pls don't stop them, they were the best and I need them for every story now 😂😂.

Beomgyu was his chaotic self and I loved him for it 😂. @nyxtwixx being your fave character cracks me up honestly.

Oooh good question. I don't necessarily plan my smaus tbh. I just have the rough idea then it's chapter by chapter. Which if you've noticed is why chapter titles tend to change quite a bit cause I change my mind or this one idea doesn't work but this other idea for the next chapter works better.

I love txt and Soobin is my bias so I was always going to include him. Yeonjun and Beomgyu kinda just came along too. The idea to have them be triplets came and I ran with it. All three of them were gonna cause more chaos and strife with there being actual feelings still there with Sooyn but I decided against that after considering how much YN is dealing with low self esteem and self hatred. In the end I love the bond they have 🫶🏼🫶🏼.

If I can give another rec, I suggest reading Peace that's my other HP au but it's Jay this time and it's Gossip Girl meets Harry Potter. (I just wanna know your views on that 😂).

Take your time, the new Jungwon fic will be there just a word of warning, I'm sorry if Hyunjin is your bias... That's about all the spoiler I'll give you in regards to that smau.

Don't get burned out with so much school!! And have fun at that party sounds like it'll be a great time!!.

Same goes to you, if you ever want to vent or just chat, I'm here 🫶🏼🫰🏼.

[professionallydeadinside]

also okay now im gonna think about the dating show au

so first ship outline: Maura/Eyk, Daniel/Krester (bc your idea is so fucking valid), Jerome/Lucien/Clemence, Clemence/Tove (or virginia/tove but im still on the fence because i also think tove would beat virginia for trying to get Ling Yi to have sex when she didn't want to), Angel/Ramiro, Ling Yi/Olek, and i think thats everyone. If i don't go the virginia/tove route than she'll either not have anybody or be like a show runner

I'll have to figure out a gimmick later, or if the show even has one, but I know it isn't gonna be like the dating shows that have eliminations. it also wouldn't be like a love is blind thing, or too hot to handle

The storyline would be like: Maura and Daniel go on as a divorced couple that just really want their son to have the security of full families on both sides, and they're very friendly and still loving towards each other. They never ruin things for each other and just genuinely want the other to find love. Eyk is there because his wife and daughters died and he wants to find love again, but doesn't know how and decided why not go on television, the fuck else is he doing. Krester and Tove are there as a middle finger to their extremely christian mom and Tove is very protetcive of her brother after he got the shit kicked out of him (Krester has the scar he does in the simulation). Jerome and Lucien join not knowing the other has also joined, and they have a homoerotic past like in canon, and they start off hating each other but something causes Lucien to have a really bad episode (seizure) and Jerome helps him and it starts paving the way for better relationships. Clemence is there because she saw the ad and was like Sure, and she falls fast and hard for Jerome, and slowly gets her heart stolen by Lucien. The show tries to frame it as a love triangle, but the moment they realise they all love each other they're like Well, Why Dont We All Just Date Each Other? Angel is there because he just wanted the paycheck but meets the dorky but loving and protective Ramiro who is there in hopes he'll actually find love and Oh No, Angel Is In Love (theres a side plot where Angel bonds with Tove and the show tries to frame it as him being torn between them but hes solely besties with Tove and they shit talk people together (the Krester/Angel thing never happens because he befriends Tove really fast and the moment she sees him try she threatens him and he backs off immediately)). Ling Yi is also there for the paycheck because her friend and mother are sex workers and she's hoping the money will be enough to help Ling Yi be able to get them out of that work. While she's there she meets Olek, who is a foreigner that went on the show because he really wanted/needed to get to America but was unable to immigrate for reasons so he uses this as a work excuse to come to the states, and Ling Yi gains a sweet husband who will do anything to help her dream of helping her mom and friend (sister? I dont think the girl in the trunk was her sister but maybe Im wrong).

I'll think on this for a bit longer and then add more

WAIKSSJJDKDJKSK MAYBE BECAUSE I DO LIKE THE CLEMENCE AND TOVE SHIP BUT ITS SO FUNNY THINKING OF VIRGINIA AS THE HOST BECAUSE SHE WOULD BE SO UTTERLY CATTY

[bunnypopgal]

Hello. It's been a few years since i made this blog and made my first post. I now deleted my first post bc i found it to be cringe and honestly really painful. i have grown a lot in these past years and have seemingly beat my hallucinations for now. i know that will most likely come back prob once i become a mother one day but i feel more prepared to beat them again.

Other than that i dumped and got dump by two partners, made and lost almost all my friends besides one. dont judge by like im sure many of us are im a sucker for the friends turned lovers trope and well ive been dating my best friend for almost going 2 years now. he has been super accepting, a wonderful partner and my biggest support thru it all so far. hes my only support system honestly.

i am deeply scared to make friends again after what my last friend did to me.. for years and i just let her. i cant really blame it on having low self worth either since i honestly really like myself and who i am but more so i didnt know HOW to be treated by others. let me be clear NOT how I treat others, no-no but HOW others SHOULD treat ME. isnt that nuts? you think that would be something we just have inside of us as humans (or otherwise) that we would just KNOW that. i dont FEEL like a doormat either but maybe i am. not with everyone, mind you. just like people ive grown to have developed a trusting bond in with respect packed in there like a mozzie stick, yum, ya know? i love em like chosen family and youre gonna body shame me for not being short for a woman, like what? you think i wouldve picked it out asap that chick SCREAMED pick me but i also saw her good qualities too which is why i wanted to be friends with her... i trusted her a lot. Oh well tho.

As much as it still hurts sometimes the fear is still there. i, as a woman also fear other woman. i know, i know. there is so many other wonderful women out there who would never treat me so badly but my brain is gone broken from so many traumatizing events over and over again. it irrational, i know it. its also isolating. i dont go out much at all but honestly blame the economy for that. i plan to be getting a part time job soon which you can also blame the economy for haha but also i want to meet people and have some kinda structure in my life again. hoping for friends right now is something im maybe not ready for honestly i think ill just start with talking to people again and let that be that. i hope to get some kind of a cleaning job so it will be a little to no talking to people depending on where im set up.

im just kinda scared to open myself up again to other people. online of course is different mainly besides the usual explanation but also for me, the internet is a black hole where NO ONE see the crap i shit out which includes my art i make sadly. i dont really try all like hard to make people see it anyways. i am still scared of people after all.

anyways today i have plans to hang out with my partner before he has to go to work. im hoping we can play palworld together again hehe. Other than that its house chores and back to drawing for me today. i just came out of another depressive episode recently so i have a few great messes to clean up. its a good thing i like cleaning, ya know when i dont feel like i wanna disappear. what can i say, its genetic. thanks, dad haha.

im planning to get back into my old hobbies too like live streaming. ive been live streaming all over the internet off and on since i was maybe 14. im 23 now so 10 years!!! WOWIE!! when i was growing up my family would joke around saying i need my own reality show haha. i do have a huge personality, ig but thats something im very comfortable and like about myself. bold and funny, i think!! streaming is a super relaxing thing to me. i talk to myself anyways and i always have. you dont stay this "sane" without talking to yourself to fight off the loneliness haha.

that reminds me recently my partner told me he found me to be a "increaser of morale, an inspiring person, you're motivating and you make being emotionally positive SO EASY." im still so stunned and very very VERY flattered he told me that! even if its not true im glad he feels that way bc thats a nice way to be. hes very very sweet to me.

well i could write forever right now honestly but i should probably go drink enough water to take out a house fire so i dont die of dehydration.

oh, if only. (JOKING)

[calebwittebane]

im ngl i have a strong urge to look into when and where theyre doing it this year, and become the stoners. as in just like tagging along this way. except as a veteran. who knows, maybe if i dont appear completely off-putting, theyll let me carefully approach them. cuz i have to keep in mind i dont have the charisma and courage of the woodland stoners. but if the students accept me into their flock, i may share some knowledge with them. some wisdom. of course all of the above hinges on logistics. i dont have a car, and i dont have anyone whod come with me because it would be unwise of me to just do this all on my own, and i have an ill cat at home. so this is all just a fantasy. a fantasy that involves sleeping in a hammock, or in a very dingy cabin, man those things were made of goddamn cardboard. also it always made me feel like one of those sickly insane pianists from the 19th century with my agonies and ailments, cuz besides the fact all the food was making me sick i also was mentally doing real badly at times probably because of sensory overload which i knew i couldnt easily decompress from as i had enough sense not to like wander off while unstable and dissociating. but oh what a thrill. like overall.

like yes im making it sound like in many ways it was a bit of a harrowing experience but... thats kind of the point. first of all im Always Suffering so i just kinda take that into consideration and roll with it. second of all, i like it when things are a little shitty. when they have that dinky unpretentious charm. when the accommodation is cheap and to put it charitably nothing fancy. when theres just so much you can complain about and laugh about, and its fine, because no one expected anything different. when you feel like a bit of a seasoned warrior for enduring it all. when you can joke about it all later. when the simple act of trying to make dinner becomes a fun social ordeal of struggling and laughing because everyone brings in like whatever one or two potential ingredients theyve got and you gotta improvise and brainstorm ideas and at the end youve got a big pot of Mysterious Stew and it turns out to be crazy good. and best enjoyed around a fire that just keeps dying and needs to be poked continuously, with some beer to go with it, or maybe even some cheap wine if youre nasty. if youre kinky. some people love luxury... but luxury unnerves me. maybe some of that is just that i never quite allow myself to relax, but when things are too nice i just feel like an intruder. i feel like im about to stumble around breaking things and making everyone uncomfortable with how raggedy and unpolished i am. good hotels unnerve me in no small part because theres the staff, cleaning and tidying up, and some people dont mind that and just leave generous tips, but to me the whole thing is just kind of inherently mortifying. the implication of me as the recipient of a service. the imbalance. you know what im saying? the best Hotel Experience ive had was when my wife booked a hotel for a night before their departure and it turned out to be SO shitty and in the middle of nowhere and with a view of some overgrown fields and piles of rubble and without even a cafeteria and without Anything and there were no other guests and the whole place had an unsettling vibe and the bathroom was awful and the sink didnt work properly and there was a hole in the door. it was amazing. we laughed so much about it. we bonded so much over how hilariously shitty it all was. there was nothing to eat so we ordered from the only place we could, we got some falafel wraps delivered, and ate it outside while smiling and laughing.

all in all... since im already rambling my head off. i wonder what this all represents for me. i am, indeed, a hermit, exemplified by the fact i currently have no irl friends aside from my flatmate and my sibling and my wife (so id honestly classify the above as my family, than Friends, for multiple reasons) and the fact that social interactions kind of hurt me mentally and physically (unless its my wife whom i never tire of being around). and yet i do crave, with all the inconveniences that come with those, very earnest and down to earth social experiences; in fact, particularly those that involve improvisation and a level of survival/coping with less than ideal circumstances, not Perilous mind you, just kinda shitty in a way thats fun to complain about and work around and bond over. is this that non-sexual kink people were talking about? <- She Is Making A Joke.

god i miss those compulsory summer plein air courses my school did that were like two weeks of staying in extremely dingy summer cabins near a lake or something and painting all day and night and sustaining ourselves on noodles and cigarettes. like by the end of it i was exhausted sore smelly starving covered in mozzie bites sick of everyone and with mild food poisoning, but it was such a blast nonetheless especially since back then i still had irl friends. like it was just such a good time especially when these two random ass stoners just showed up cuz theyd been backpacking in the woods and they just sorta joined us. they slept outside in their hammocks and during the day they just hung out with us and borrowed some paint and cardboard so they could paint too. the restrooms in the main admin building of the campground were Scary Bathrooms From Fallout. there was one person with a car and she drove her ancient bmw like a maniac but this way you could obtain groceries in town which was otherwise quite the journey on foot. there was a military base nearby and that was scary. good times good times. That Was Life Before Covid......

[free--therapy]

+ to add onto that, i find myself really overthinking and getting worked up about small things.

So something like...say if a majority of a fandom ships two characters and i ship something else that the majority says is weird then i start overthinking if i'm doing something wrong. ofc i know it's all just opinions but i can't help but question myself over it.

Recently, there was this anime i was watching and there's this typical main characters group of 2 guys and 1 girl who live together and are really close friends and one of the guys is the reaponsible one and takes care of the other two and stuff like that. So like half of the fandom sees them as family or sibling energy bond. Then other half of the fandom ships the girl with one of the guys (the main character) but the other half is disgusted with it. As for me, i ship that girl with the other guy (who's the side character) and very few people ship them because they're side characters. So like since such a big part of the fandom sees them as giving off sibling energy....i feel weird? I mean, i don't see the three of them like that because for me, they're more like best friends so idk.... And it doesn't help that the two i ship are not shipped by many people since amont the ones who do ship that girl with one of the two guys, do it with the main character.

Anyway, im really sorry for giving that unnecessary information i was just trying to explain the situation. The thing is, these days i start worrying about it before i even start watching a show. It goes like "omg what if i end up shipping someone everyone thinks is weird?" And it makes me overthink.

I know not everyone sees characters and their bonds the same way especially when it isn't stated by the creator or if its open for interpretation. So just because my opinion isn't as common or because its different than the majority doesn't mean i need to change my way of thinking....But sometimes i end up questioning "But if most of the people think something and if i think differently and it's something that others think is weird.....doesn't that mean there's something wrong with me? Doesn't that mean I'm wrong?"

And i mean....if my way of thinking is "wrong" then i feel like i should change it. In the above case, if i ship someone and majority thinks it's weird then doesn't it mean it's wrong? Then shouldn't i change it? But then again, it's not stated anywhere that it's weird. So just because some people see the characters differently doesn't mean i have to see them like the majority does too.

I know it but accepting it is kinda hard because i keep feeling like I'm doing something wrong and as I've mentioned many times before, I'm scared of the idea of doing wrong or of people not accepting me. This is just some social anxiety with me wanting to do what the "majority" does so that i don't get "cancelled" and can feel like i belong with the community. It's just me wanting to fit in and not get rejected or hated by a community.

But when I think or see things a certain way which is different than the majority, i can't just change my way of seeing things/situations either because it's not possible to force my views to change... its just whatever comes naturally is what stays and forcibly changing it isn't possible. So if others are disgusted by something and i ain't then i feel like "omg I'm not disgusted by it or i like it and i can't change that feeling, then doesn't that mean something's wrong with me?"

So when this happens, what is the correct response?

In a way, i really want to believe in my own opinions because maybe i just see certain things or people differently than others do. Maybe that's why i have different opinions but i have my own reasons for thinking or believing what i do. So i really want to stand for it proudly. But at the same time, when a lot of people are against it or think it's wrong/weird then it's really hard to still stay firm in my belief. I mean, if everyone says it's wrong then after a while, it's hard to believe that it's right or okay to believe otherwise when it's stated as a "fact" by everyone.

So if i dare to continue to still believe in my opinions, it feels like I'm doing something wrong and the fact that everyone sees something as "messed up" and yet i don't think that, makes me feel like there must be something wrong with me?

And this is why I'm scared of believing firmly in my own opinions or being proud of myself no matter how differently i see things. In fact, I'm even scared of my own opinions in a way....as in, "i must be messed up in the head to like something or not be bothered by something that so many people think us weird" and like that, i find it scary to even have those opinions, believing them is a far stretch really.

Since i can't forcefully change my way of seeing things, just the thought that "my opinions are something others dislike or feel weirded out by" is enough for me to feel like "I shouldn't be having these opinions or thoughts to begin with." So i can't find peace with myself because i can't accept that i have those different opinions and this is because I've seen enough people that are against it?

So before standing firmly in my opinions or believing in them, first i want to be at peace with them and believe that it's okay to have them to begin with. But I'm scared to do that too. I mean, is that okay?

If i had to sum it up using a hypothetical situation......it's like i love someone who did many bad things in their past. But i see that person differently and maybe i see the good in them and see beyond the "bad" even though most people literally hate that person. So since so many people hate them for the obvious wrong things they did, i can't bring myself to hate them and instead i still feel like i like them nevertheless. And just that thought of me not being able to hate them despite everyone else seeing it as wrong....is scary to me.

I mean, i can't even believe that it's "okay" to like them and feel like there must be something wrong with me for liking someone everyone hates or everyone wants to cancel. I feel like I'm doing something seriously wrong and I'm messed up in my head to love someone like that so i can't believe it's okay to love them to begin with..... like I'm scared of even the idea of loving them. And of course, believing in my own opinions about them and loving them proudly is a far stretch when i can't accept that idea to begin with. Of course this is mainly because "everyone else" has majorly different or opposite opinions.

Umm that was a weird explanation i know but i feel like that's the easiet way to sort of make it clear? Though it's a different situation but the way i think is similar to that. It all really boils down to me being scared of liking something and being at peace with myself for it and believing in it even if everyone else is disgusted by it or doesn't like it.

Do i let myself think the way i do even if it's "wrong" to certain people? Is it okay to do that? And is it okay to believe in those different opinions of mine without any guilt? Is it okay to stand proud the way i am without changing anything? Even if the majority tells me i'm wrong for thinking differently or seeing/perceiving differently, is it okay to believe in what i do? Am i still valid despite all that?

Also, i hope i didn't annoy you by writing all that...if i did, I'm really sorry. Please feel free to ignore me. And still thank you for reading!

Honestly, I wouldn't worry too much about what other people think about a fictional show. Just because the bond seems sibling-like, doesn't mean its incestuous. Are they actually siblings? Then I wouldn't worry too much about what a fandom things. People are always going to be divided over things like that, but it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you and how you perceive the show. Let yourself enjoy the show for what it is and give yourself the permission to thing what you want to thing, regardless of what everyone else is thinking.

Me personally, I would stay away from engaging with other people in a fandom sometimes because I feel like everyone just loves to argue for the sake of arguing when it's about something fictional/made up. Again, you'll never get anyone to agree on anything 100% and that's okay. That's just how the world is and you're allowed to like who you want to like. I think most writers want their characters and stories to be enjoyed and not fought over for something that people spend too much time overanalyzing.

You're not wrong for being different. Embrace your uniqueness! It's honestly something I've learned to embrace my life because I've always been different than the crowd. I honestly wear it like a badge of honor because I love it lol. You should never want to change it though if it's really how you feel. It's almost like an act of self-betrayal if you feel like you have to shrink yourself or tell yourself not to enjoy something the way you want to because most people are doing it differently. I know it's so hard to deal with rejection though, so I completely understand where your frame of mind is. It's okay to be different though. There will be soooo many other people like you, who are also afraid to speak out for the same fear. Doesn't mean you're the only one ;)

My journey of embracing how different I am wasn't easy either because I had such people-pleasing tendencies. I found that after a while, the people who rejected me weren't meant for me and eventually I came across other like-minded people to help me feel a lot less alone. You are definitely not alone in how you think. You have to remember that there are a lot less vocal people when it comes to thinking differently than the crowd. A lot of them are scared, just like you. You have to learn to cultivate bravery and courage to help you stand firm in your beliefs. You can't believe that the mob is the only way to think about something because life isn't so black and white like that.

Anon, your ability to love people, even when most people don't is a beautiful thing. Never be ashamed of your ability to be compassionate and loving to people, even when a majority of people think you're wrong for doing so. That is unconditional love! Everyone deserves to be loved and forgiven, even the "bad" people of this world. Love should never be conditional upon someone's behaviors or acts.

Do i let myself think the way i do even if it's "wrong" to certain people? Is it okay to do that? And is it okay to believe in those different opinions of mine without any guilt? Is it okay to stand proud the way i am without changing anything? Even if the majority tells me i'm wrong for thinking differently or seeing/perceiving differently, is it okay to believe in what i do? Am i still valid despite all that?

Yes, yes, yes, and yes! You are most definitely valid and allowed to stand firm in your beliefs.

I will never ignore you, Anon! You are not a burden :)

[boilingheart]

i know its not quite the same scenario as navy seal, but ive highkey avoided ever talking about or publicly enjoying poly pirates content for the same kind of reason, but instead bc it involves shipping jay and chip.

like. yes, i know many people (including the jerboys) interpret them as having a more sibling-esque bond. I fully acknowledge it and I can even agree w it!* but i hate how it has been made that any other interpretation is not only wrong but also bad.

idk man like. i just hate how it feels like enjoying any dynamic of poly-pirates outside of fnc is wrong-- bc at that point, what is the point?

*i personally tend to see the two as very close, but the specifics of whether that closeness is platonic/familial or romantic depends on interpretation (whether of the individual, author, etc). they're two people who've found connection and safety in each other and also enjoy ribbing the other for jokes- what specific type of connection that is can vary for me, yknow? the type isnt the Core of their dynamic to me

(sorry the asterisk part got so long i just want to properly explain myself and dump a bit fjkdsjf)

Oh yeah, I'm 1000% with you on this. I mentioned navyseal cause that's my personal guilty pleasure that I am highkey obsessed with but had to keep it on the downlow after twitter decided it was just as bad as inc*st apparently (as someone who is very very deeply uncomfortable and revolted by that type of stuff in genuine, that shit pissed me off!!!), but this absolutely applies to Chip and Jay and polypirates as a whole. Hell, when I first started the show and didn't really have much fandom influence in my first 30 something episodes I was actually way more of a poly enjoyer

Anyways, as a whole I do sincerely think Chip and Jay work better as a platonic bond, I like this interpretation of their relationship better than romantic, but that doesn't necessarily make the ship bad or wrong you know? Literally ditto to everything you said in your asterisk I couldn't word it better myself.

Like bruh it really felt like these characters are stuck being bitchless fr LOL that whole twitter debacle made it feel like the only CORRECT ships were fnc and pistolwhip (as if fnc doesn't Also have some of the same dynamics listed in navyseal and chip/jay!! (although im certainly keeping my mouth shut further on that since people have started gunning to convince people fnc is a Bad Boring Ship, Actually, and it's better platonic (unrelated to the wlw vs mlm take that just happened there, big disclaimer (I spend too much time on twitter can u tell... there's so many shipwars there for no reason...))) anyways yeah there was just too many people trying to police these ships and instead of just being NORMAL and saying "oh X isn't my cup of tea I enjoy a familial/platonic bond between them instead" they start bending over backwards to prove that ACTUALLY it's PROBLEMATIC, SEE? And sourcing the boys' opinions on it doesn't Wholly matter to ships (unless it's in regards to boundaries, in which it Absolutely Matters) cause Bizly regularly dunks on fnc and that hasn't changed anything

This got very long winded sorry LOL I've been holding onto this irritation for a while now, it's one of the reasons why I'm trying to move away from twitter and come back to tumblr tbh. It is simply fandom culture to ship, and while I love fnc to absolute death as my main ship here, it's nice to explore some variety yk? navyseal has CRAZY potential cause of their parallels and their journey of self discovery and how much they deeply care for each other, polypirates is just a lot of fun altogether cause of all their personalities and that shared strong bond, then you have swordfish, fish² and chips, caspian/chip, marshall john/gillion, like, multishipping is FUN dude. Unless it's GENUINELY problematic or Actual Proshipping like twitter Claimed, I don't see the big idea. There is such thing as "Don't like, don't read". There is such thing as muting/blocking words and curating your own experience. You don't have to put down others because their enjoyment of something clashes with your personal interpretation of it. It's fandom bro!!!