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Ik we’ve discussed the porn they watch/don’t watch, but what ways do you think the crew likes to masturbate? Anything specific they like to do or is it just a means to an end etc etc
Hey, new format. I hate the old hc format because it takes too much time and im lazy.
Anyways, I personally think that Curly RARELY masturbates. He's a busy guy, and if he has a partner, why not just ask? But if he does pull on the rope, he does it really quick. Also, he wouldn't masturbate whilst on the Tulpar. He thinks it's shameful, and doesn't want to get caught because of the doors. Soooo, yeah. He's not a freak.
Now, for Jimmy, it's just a side course. Something to slow his urges down, and to calm him. Might do masturbation when hes frustrated, not so sure on that one. Jimmy masturbates to the thought of..... Dominating people, and being loved. If you watched Bojack Horseman, you probably know the conversation between PC and BJ where they talk about him masturbating to a picture of himself and he was actually masturbating to what the picture represented. Yeah, that's Jimmy.
Swansea...... Is too old to masturbate. I'm not kidding, he doesn't want to. Doesn't need to. When he was younger, he'd touch himself occasionally. But that's all, he's not horny anymore, he's just grumpy and wants to work and retire without any worries. But since you guys are FREAKS, I'll say that he masturbates, but it's only just because he's horny and nothing else. One orgasm? Hes fine, he doesn't need more.
Onto Daisuke, mehhh..... He's a young adult, 17-20. I'm not saying that all young adults masturbate, but yk (Saying that you've never masturbated is like saying you have the best game ever and you never play it). I'd say based on mood. Sometimes he does it just because he really needs to, and sometimes he does with toys. Don't tell me he doesn't own a fleshlight or a vibrator. You're wrong and I know it.
Anya masturbates. I hate how ppl baby her bc she got raped, i was too and I still touch myself. Anyway, she does when her urges get to her. If she's not THAT wet, she'll just... Like, ignore it. But ovulation is a bitch and makes you really horny for no reason, so yeah.
#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#anya x reader mouthwashing#curly x reader mouthwashing#daisuke x reader mouthwashing#jimmy x reader mouthwashing
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prompt: you wake up in a girl’s body and fuck your best friend
okay soooo, i got this idea from an ao3 one shot i read the other day and well, this came outta it
it may not be everyones cup of tea but i always loved gay fics where one guy magically turned into a woman??
IDK
ALSO IM REALLY DEPRESSED SO I LIED ABT GETTING TO UR REQUESTS DONT HATE MEEEE MY BOOBIES <3
warnings: SMUTTTT, mentions of witchcraft and body switching
you and quackity were best friends from a very young age. you and him were inseparable, as if you were one person.
the two of you went through school together. everything changed when his youtube career took off and he changed his focus to that which of course you didn’t mind. you thought it was so awesome the way he was passionate about this.
the two of you were so close that living together through college eventually turned into living together as adults. now, you were working at a law firm as an intern while alex pursued his online career.
truthfully, you were in love with your best friend. you had been from a very young age, it was only natural for you to fall so hard for him.
on a drunken night, you decided to come clean. you told him how much he meant to you. you confessed that you were in love with him.
he smiled sadly and hugged you close
“i wish you were a girl”
those were his drunken words and the two of you never spoke about it again
but within your friend group, everyone liked to tease the two of you as if you were gay together. of course you would enjoy every single interaction like this, hell you two were even dared to kiss once!
it was too easy to fall for your best friend
—
you had gone to visit your family in mexico for a few days and finally you were home. you walked into your shared home as quickly and quietly as possible so that you didn’t wake alex up.
your trip was great. you got to catch up with family and spend some quality time together.
while there, you confessed to your favorite and closest cousin about your feelings for alexis. she was very accepting of your sexuality and even encouraged you to go for it.
you filled her in on what happened when you did confess to alex and her eyes lit up with a devious look. she had an idea and although you were a bit skeptical, you agreed.
you knew she was learning the traditions of brujeria in your family and you were really interested in it. but what she wanted to do was crazy. she wanted to try something new and of course you agreed, not expecting anything to come of it because of how impossible it seemed.
so the two of you spent the last day of your trip together so that she could work on it. and well, you went home that same night.
the next day, you woke up like any normal day. you sluggishly walked to the bathroom and relieved yourself. you felt a warmth trickling down your legs and you were speeachless
“aw shit” you murmured to yourself as you knelt down to clean the floor of your piss
you couldn’t believe it worked
you looked at yourself in the mirror and loved what you saw. your face was a bit more round, your hair reached your ass now, and you had a great rack. you were ecstatic, practically gawking over yourself
and then the fear set in when alex knocked on your door saying that breakfast was ready
“uh… im not feeling well! go ahead and eat without me, thanks” you said, trying your hardest to deepen your voice
“are you sure? whats wrong? your voice sounds weird, are you sick?” he asked worriedly
“i think it’s a virus or something, don’t worry”
“i wanted to have a little day with you since you’re back from mexico… i guess we could postpone it until you feel better”
“thanks” you said quickly, hoping he would go already
“are you… going to stay in there all day? i mean, at least let me in so i can take care of you” he sighed, resting his head against the door
“n-no! im fine, really!”
“c’mon y/n, let me in so i can at least make sure you don’t die in there” he laughed
there was absolutely no way to hide this
“okay but… please don’t freak out” you said as you quickly started to look for a t shirt to put on
all you had on were loose boxers but they felt weird. you didn’t have any bras, obviously, and so you had no choice but to wear a tight fitting white wife beater
“i wont” alexis said softly
“close your eyes”
he obliged and you carefully unlocked the door, leading him into the bedroom
“before you open your eyes, i think i need to—“
he opened his eyes and his mouth dropped
“um… what…?”
“please let me explain!”
“okay, who are you… i get it if you wanted an autograph or a picture but what the hell?? why are you in my house right now?”
“what?… alexis! i’m not some crazed fan that broke in! it’s me.. it’s y/n..” you exclaimed
“no you’re not, what the fuck are you talking about! look, i don’t believe in hitting women but if you don’t leave my goddamn house in three seconds, you’re toast buddy!” he yelped and picked up the nearest weapon like thing which just so happened to be a lamp
you blinked at his attempt at being tough and burst out laughing uncontrollably
“lady! i am so serious! what the hell is wrong with you? oh my god… you escaped a mental hospital and you’re using my house as a hideout aren’t you?!”
you couldn’t stop laughing at him, this was just way too hilarious!
“okay i am dialing 911–“
“wait! please… just listen to me okay? i didn’t expect for this to happen… but it’s me. it’s y/n”
“you really are a nut, aren’t you?”
“i can prove it! look… it’s the matching tattoo we got when we were 18” you pulled your t shirt down to show the tattoo littered on your collarbone
he put down the lamp and sat on your bed. he didn’t know what to think. he nervously ran his hand through his hair
“oh god… how did this—?”
“i—i” you stuttered, trying to figure out if you should tell him the truth
“i swear you didn’t have tits the last time i saw you… and your face looks so… different” he softly held your chin in his hand, studying your newly feminine features
“brujeria” you blurted out, cheeks flushed with his touch on your face igniting a fire inside your chest
“w-what?”
“i… my family does brujeria and i tried this new thing and i swear i didn’t expect it to work! ive heard of it working but ive never seen it for myself and well…”
“so… you did this to yourself?”
you nodded, almost feeling shame
“but why?”
“i had a talk with my cousin in mexico and well… you told me you wished that i were a girl…. and i thought maybe things could be easier this way, better, even. i really didn’t think it would happen…”
“so…” alexis cleared his throat, “you’re um, fully a female now?” his face turned red in an instant and you couldn’t help but laugh
“yeah, i mean, i went to use the bathroom and that’s when i noticed…”
“no way…”
“yeah..”
“and so… why are you practically naked?” he laughed nervously, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants
“dude! look at these fucking tits! i don’t own any bras and god they’re already giving me back pain.. i need to get dressed so i can go back and see my cousin or see a doctor! i can’t stay like this—”
he stayed quiet for a while before saying breathlessly,
“i don’t want you to go”
“i… i have to go… i have to fix this” you said quietly as you began to rummage through your drawers to find suitable underwear since you obviously didn’t own any panties. you changed into boxer briefs and shrugged. it would have to do
alex quietly stood from where he was sitting and he stood behind you, looking down at you with a look on his face that you’ve never seen before
“god.. you’re so tall” you whispered as you stopped what you were doing and looked up at him
“you’re so fucking short, it’s really cute” he smiled before grabbing you and throwing you over his shoulder
“hey! what the hell! put me down!” you squirmed in his arms and that earned a harsh smack to your boxer clad ass
he took you to his bedroom and practically threw you onto his bed. he stared at you with the same look as before, his eyes filled with lust, as he threw his beanie to the ground and took off his t shirt. he threw his shirt somewhere behind him before slowly making his way to you.
you were sat up with your knees to your chest against the wall
“u-uhm.. why um.. why are we here? i told you i have to go!! i have to fix this shit” you rambled nervously, earning a deep chuckle from alexis
“shh, just let me admire you..” he was now next to you on the bed as he carefully tucked your hair behind your ear
“what are we doing alex?” your whisper dissipated into the thick tense air surrounding the two of you
alexis didn’t respond, instead he gently grabbed the hem of your t shirt and pulled it off of your body. your new set of tits were now on display, your nipples perking up instantly as your best friend trailed his fingertips along your chest. you hiss at the sensation of his cold hands and you feel something beginning to build up inside, just beneath your bellybutton
“o-okay…i get it, it get it. this is about that stupid thing we talked about! look, it was funny back then but right now it’s not okay, i need to see my cousin or a fucking doctor!”
“you mean that thing about how if one of us woke up as a chick then we’d fuck?” he laughed, now trailing his fingers underneath your chin
“y-yeah but it was hypothetical! i didn’t think we’d ever actually be in this situation i mean, it’s just not normal!”
“so, do you want me to stop?” he murmured against your neck, leaving tiny butterfly kisses there
“i-i don’t know okay? but it doesn’t help when you’re touching me and you have your lips on me and god damn i forgot how sexy you looked without a shirt on…”
“you think this is easy for me? feel what you do to me, baby girl” he guided your hand to his clothed dick and your eyes went wide with how hard he was
“oh my god… stop it! fucking shit dude! you can’t just have me touching your dick! a-and now im fucking leaking or something, i don’t know! it’s all warm and wet down here! i don’t know what to do!” you complained, almost whining, not realizing that what you needed was him inside of you
“yeah? i bet your tight little cunt is soaked, isn’t it?” he asked, almost hovering above you
you couldn’t respond, you were too overwhelmed with so many emotions at once
alexis began to lean into you more and more and god it was getting harder to resist him as his strong cologne infiltrated your little brain
finally, his lips were on yours. he kissed you so gently, as if at any moment you could break. you pulled him closer to you and wrapped your arms around his toned back, melting into him
one of his hands balanced him above you while his other hand began to play with your perky tits. you were grinding into him as he rolled your sensitive nipple in between his thumb and forefinger
“o-oh my god! that feels amazing..” you bucked into him more, rubbing your cunt against his leg. you were so frustrated and begging silently for any kind of friction
“slow down princesa, there’s no rush. i promise ill take care of you, okay?” he said in a sweet voice that only turned you on even more
you nodded and your eyebrows furrowed together as his mouth was now attached to one of your boobs, the other was pinching at your already sensitive nipple. you let out soft whimpers as he pawed at your chest delightfully
“g-god… this feels so wrong but so fucking good” you said breathlessly, earning a little laugh from the boy above you
his lips kissed and sucked a trail lower and lower until he reached your boxers. he licked his lips and hooked his fingers under the waistband, sliding them down your legs. you were trembling as he kissed down the front of your pussy. finally, he ran his tongue flat against what you now knew was your clit. your hands instantly buried themselves in his soft hair, pulling it in the process
“you okay?” he asked, pausing for a second. you nodded furiously and he got back to work instantly
his tongue ran circles around the bundle of nerves that were now throbbing. you bucked your hips further into his face without even noticing
suddenly, you felt a finger at your entrance. it stung ever so slightly and immediately turned into pleasure as he curved it upwards. he pumped his finger into you and continued lapping at your swollen bud. the second he added another finger, tears were rolling down your face
“just like that! oh fuck..” you cursed, back arching as you reached up and clung onto his bedsheets
alex was basically making out with your clit now. his two long fingers were curved perfectly inside of you. you were bouncing on his fingers at this point. it all felt so so good
“you taste so good y/n” alex said as he came up for air momentarily
your hands came down and were now shoving his face in between your trembling thighs. his tongue moved even faster now, syncing with his fingers that were plunging into you.
you were restless, squirming and writhing as the sound of your moans and your wetness filled the room. you felt yourself chasing your climax. your thighs clamped shut, forcing alex to stay right there and not move an inch.
as your walls clenched around your best friend’s fingers, alex was being completely engulfed in your sweet pussy. his fingers curved up one more time inside of you and your body paused completely.
you saw stars and felt yourself leaking cum out onto his fingers. you caught your breath and closed your eyes. after a few moments, alex broke the silence
“so… was i any good?” alex asked, wiping your juices from his chin, a shit eating grin on his lips
“shut your mouth and take off your pants” you rolled your eyes
alexis laughed loudly and obliged, gaking off the remaining clothes he had on. you instantly sat up on your knees, your attention completely on him
you took over, pushing his pants and underwear down in one swift motion. his erection sprang free, and you stared at it with a mix of fascination and hunger. He watched your gaze, feeling a surge of pride and desire that made him ache even more
“holy shit! dude, your dick is huge!” you said in awe, almost drooling
“open up princess” he smiled and pumped himself gently
you opened your mouth gingerly. as he lay his tip on your tongue, your hand wrapped around the base of his cock. your other hand cupped his balls, grabbing at them
“you… you sure you haven’t sucked a dick before? you’re doing this so well” he grunted
“believe it or not, your dick is the first to ever touch these lips” you laughed and took him into your mouth almost entirely
alexis whimpered, one of his hands pushing the back of your head onto him further
of course you choked but alex was still enjoying this and you were definitely taking in every little whiny sound he made
you sucked his tip gently, and looked up at him through your doe eyes with your pupils blown completely, your lips wet and swollen, hair a mess, and alex almost came at the sight
“lay down” he said gently but firmly
you did as he told you and alex propped your legs up as if he were going to eat your pussy a second time. instead, he slipped himself in between your legs and hovered over you
carefully, he entered you, savoring the tightness that surrounded him. you gasped, your eyes fluttering shut as you adjusted to the sensation of his thickness stretching you. he waited, giving you a moment to breathe, before he began to move.
alex was in pure bliss, loving how warm and tight your cunt was. he completely forgot that this was your first time doing this, involuntarily speeding up before immediately stopping as you made a sound of pain
“okay look i respect you, you have game dude but jesus christ you need to fucking chill ! i’ve never done this shit before… at least not with a pussy” you tried to laugh off the sting
“i am so sorry y/n, you just feel so fucking good around me. i didn’t mean to hurt you, princesa” he spoke with a worried expression on his face
“sit back, okay?” you said suddenly and alex laid down, watching you crawl into his lap. a smirk made its way onto his face as he realized what you were doing
you straddled him, slowly taking him into you as you sat all the way down on his lap. you still felt some pain but it wasn’t as bad. you slowly lifted yourself up and slid back down again, your hand on his belly as he watched you intently
you gasped as his fingers pressed against your clit, sending waves of pleasure crashing through you. your hips picked up the pace, seeking more, and he eagerly gave it, his movements growing more deliberate with every moan that escaped your lips.
“take it like a good girl… “ alexis groaned as his head fell back in pleasure
you continued to move, his cock hitting you at the perfect angle inside and the pressure of his digits on your clit motivating you to go faster
“that’s it, princess” alexis praised as he watched you bounce up and down
his free hand found your breasts, kneading them as you rode him, your breaths growing more ragged with every thrust
“oh god, you’re so fucking deep! a-alex!” you moaned as you rode his cock
your pace was slowing down as you were growing tired. alex sat up and held you close. your arms rested around his neck and you kissed him passionately as he thrusted into you while you sat on his lap
“say my name again baby, say it” he kissed you on the mouth roughly as his hands held your hips in place and he fucked into you faster now
“alex! fuck… i’ve wanted your cock inside of me for so fucking long, i need more, please!” you pleaded
your eyes locked onto his, teeth biting down on your lower lip as you felt another orgasm building. your walls tightened around him, and you could see the effect it was having on him, his jaw clenching and his eyes darkening with lust. you leaned forward, your breasts brushing against his chest, and whispered into his ear, "I'm going to cum on your big fucking cock”
your movements grew erratic as alex pushed you back slightly, giving you a new angle for him to fuck you senselessly in. the two of you made a sort of ‘v’ shape in this new position as you leaned away from one another and your sex met his in perfect rhythm
your nails dug into his hands that were on your hips, leaving half-moons that would surely bruise. he didn't care, the pain only added to his pleasure, heightening every sensation
the sight was too much for him. your fucked out expression begging for more, your supple tits bouncing as your hips crashed together. he lost control, his orgasm ripping through him like a storm. he filled you with his warmth, his hips jerking as he emptied himself into you.
you came immediately after he did, loving the way you felt his thick cock twitch inside of you
you stopped moving and collapsed onto his chest, your breathing ragged and your heart pounding like a drum in her ears. alexis wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as your breathing gradually returned to normal
“you okay?” he asked, he felt your body trembling again
“yeah, just hold me okay?” you nuzzled into his chest
“okay” he said, pressing a sweet kiss to your temple
#alex quackity#alexis quackity#quackity#quackity x reader#quackity fanfic#quackity x y/n#quackity smut
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No matter what you think about Brock and Rusty one thing is true they raised those boys together. And anyone will tell you kids pick up qualities of their guardians/parents which influences how they go about things.
The influence of Brock on Hank is simple, it’s the one the show starts off with and we see easily throughout the show. I wish they could’ve done more with Dean and Brock, unfortunately they don’t overlap enough to do something with but when they have overlapped the small moments, you stretch it you can see the impact Brock has on Dean.
“He believes in this stuff, not like Hank.”
“I have watched you pull a man eye from his head, made him dance like marionette with his own optic nerves.” “At least I didn’t break his heart.”
Heart is Brock entire thing. He is punished for his act of heart going against OSI and getting Billy and Pete together, him racing back in PROM, his attachment to the Ventures, and funny enough his lack of any real love life is because Brock does things true to his heart even when he’s not supposed to (“you’re a tool for the government.”)
That’s super easy to see in Hank, he follows his guns, jumps in, doesn’t second guess if he’s wrong. For Dean it comes out in belief of there being Good Guys. Something Brock shares. For a man who has no real issue with murder the idea of “Good guys” is a thing he sticks with very seriously. Dean copies this to a Dorky level coming off naive but it’s literally the same packaged differently.
Hank knows though everyone is just some guy, a bad guy or a good guy you are just some guy. A lot like his dad in that respect, when you understand this is all a game you can’t really bother with genuinely thinking of sides just how you interact within it. (Hank not really put off about dating Sirena even if her dad is his dad arch. That’s more of an obstacle that they are put into arch and protag categories so he can’t date her normally bc it’s not an actual *thing* for him)
Dean however is under the firm belief there are sides, they can work together sometimes bc he’s seen it, but like Brock, he believes in sides and gets riled up by it.
Speaking of riled up, Dean has Brock temper. I didn’t think much about it to be honest, it shows itself twice physically (Rusty Camp, radiant of the baboon) but when I hop around episodes now I see it in newer episodes. Dean temper is similar to Brock when he is really pushed off the need to protect or save another quality that is picked up by Brock.
Brock aggression is something Dean who is used to seeing it come out when he, hank and doc need protecting, saving, or an affective tactic. Another thing is Brock was and probably still is both boys example of classic masculinity in contrast to their dad (I’ll get back to this on another post.) I think Dean unintentionally mimics it, and I kinda believe we would’ve seen more of it if Dean was put into more situations where he was worried for someone else since the Rusty camp one was for Triana and the movie was for Hank. (Both against Dermontt which shouldn’t count but I am which I will get to in a different post about jealousy in VB)
Brock is the stereotypical “man” he protects the home, he kills to protect, his basics are that man spiel I don’t need to say we know it. Brock masculinity is never questioned really, it oozes out of him and is loudly punctuated. When it comes to sex it’s the same thing, to a problem. I think Dean inherited that, im not saying the one time Dean did a shitty sex related thing makes him like Brock but I actually think it’s more of a Brock move than Rusty weirdly enough. Probably because Brock has hooked up with people wives/gf but that’s not the reason why I say it.
Dean reason with hooking up with Sirena wasn’t really solid, because I don’t think there was a solid reason he did it just because it was happening. That’s why I think it’s more of a Brock move. Rusty we’ve seen talked himself out of being with women who even like him, yes he hooked up with a fan bc she was a fan. She wasn’t someone who can end up seeing his flaws, end up maybe loving back because love is frightening for Rusty because he wants it. If there was a room and a woman who was slightly interested in Rusty, Rusty would magically get out of the room then COMPLAIN he is out the room. We see it repeatedly he will make up reasons really get in his head to jump ship only to stick to people who don’t love him. Or like him.
Hank is the same line but opposite, he is open to love! Yes like Brock his attention to who is quick and focused but Hank is committed because he wants to be loved. Hank is scared of not being loved, he worries although less obviously or loudly about it, and leans hard into it. Action man called him on it, that he resembles Rusty in being downright too attached.
I’ll be honest here it’s so unlikely to actually see it but once you see the Rusty in Hank you’ll end up seeing the Brock in Dean. I remember a YouTube comment saying “Dean is all the negatives [of other people] it’s why I don’t like him.”
I don’t hate Dean, I don’t love Dean but I get Dean so while I don’t 100% agree with that comment I do get it. Dean picks up sometimes the worst traits because he’s so easy to imprint on. He’s funny like that, weirdly easy to leave an impression on but unaware how he repeats things of people he doesn’t want to. Brock being promiscuous, Rusty nostalgic past, the idea of what is important to a man etc Dean mimics it unknowingly. I don’t think that was the root of hooking up with Sirena, (bc the reason is bs yall) I’m just thinking of domino effect of parenting.
There’s a lot of Rusty in Dean literally everything Dean has is Rusty. But where they don’t match up are the core, Dean now understands his dad and they are the same brand of Venture boy but I really think Brock influence on both boys is there for good and bad it just harder to find in Dean. But I think it comes out when Dean stops letting his mind run too much, when he trusts himself, when he’s standing up for something, when he lets his body drive.
But I’m just spitballing! I just don’t believe Dean is all Doc, just like Hank isn’t all Brock. We just didn’t get a lot of time with the boys switched around
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no one, even the most experienced shifters, will ever have all the answers
so stop looking for all the answers
now, please don’t take this in a negative way, because it’s not at all
i think a lot of people are very left-brained when it comes to shifting, because.. why wouldn’t you be? shifting to another reality is something that we grew up seeing only in fiction (my little pony, narnia, alice in wonderland, peter pan, etc.. seriously, it’s a lot), also meaning that it’s something you think you aren’t able to achieve or have, because we are raised to “suck it up”, “pull yourself up by the bootstraps”, “deal with it” and so on, so it’s understandably hard to believe that you in fact can have everything you want, whenever you want. so, in turn, they feel the need to question everything about it
i’ll use an example i saw a while ago on tiktok i believe, and i don’t remember the creator so please let me know if you know who im talking about. think about shifting as driving a car, so i’ll use myself with this scenario
when i get in my car, i don’t know every mechanism in the car that makes it work. i just know that it works. i know how to drive, and i know how to get to my destination, but im not worried about the actual car itself, because i know it works.
does this make sense?
you don’t need to know every single thing about shifting to shift
i literally cannot repeat this enough. we do things every single day that we don’t know the inner mechanisms of, yet we still do it because we know. it. works.
stop worrying about all the little details and go SHIFT.
trust in yourself. trust in your consciousness. trust in the universe.
#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifters#shifting#shifting antis dni#shifting community#shifting diary#shifting motivation#shifting blog
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the ideal couple is a guy who says the worst things imaginable (dick grayson) and then the guy he fights all the time (roy harper) with his daughter (lian harper) and their adopted teenager (grant emerson) and their adopted teenager (rose wilson) and their adopted teenager (damian wayne) and their
#do u get it do u see my vision#dickroy#dick grayson#roy harper#dc comics#teen titans#im working on something don’t worry about it#spokes
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thinking about this post i saw the other week where this person was saying how badly they wanted to be able to buy a nice mug without thinking twice about it. and all the comments were saying how they could just buy a cheaper mug. and they were like jesus fucking christ ITS NOT ABOUT THE MUG. because yeah
#i’m so fucking. Exhausted#having to so carefully budget every single dollar#and feeling like a failure if i want to get like. some fancy cookies or something#or a nice blanket#and i am paying back my debt but also taking on more every year#and i personally don’t even feel that bad about it. like as long as i can afford the monthly payments idc#but then i see like three million tiktok/youtube videos shaming people who have less debt than i do#and im like. well ok.#like i am Trying idk what else to say😭#but i don’t want to try this hard like i’m not strong enough#i don’t have the work ethic or desire to scrape every penny into my savings like.#i just want to be able to buy fun things and see my friends#not even like. anything crazy expensive😭#i want to go out to a bar for karaoke without feeling guilty about the drink prices#it’s just. sooooo fucking frustrating and i’m worried it won’t ever end#sorry for the rant i am just spiraling a little bit😭#i’ll probably delete later#like i am Fine and actually doing really well rn#but i am so sick of not being able to afford to eat#and even when i start getting paid i still have to be so so so careful with my money#which i am. historically not good at doing#UGH#sorry😭#will delete#personal
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I wanna work on my spidersona comic but I don’t know how to properly format comics still
#pink talks#pink talk#I don’t want to copy anyone either#and I have been sitting on the ideas for the past 6+ months to a year#but idk the spiderverse community on twt hs been cut throat lately and I don’t want to participate there rn#there’s just something going on every other day month week and im tired#I just want to post w/o worrying much (cause I never cared about likes in the first place) I just want to get my ideas out there#and well bring my ideas to life to the point im satisfied#also to myself: womp womp#I’m gonna try to though#I have just been tired and haven’t worked on any other wips that I have#also been busy so there’s that
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theOrEticalLy . if I opened commissions at some point. would there be. a smackerel of interest . ??
#i have never opened them bc it’s intimidating and I don’t know how to price things!!#but mostly bc i work full time w a good salary so I don’t really need side things to make money#like it feels selfish to suggest that people should pay me to make fanart?? When#a) I already do that for free bc i enjoy it lol#and b) there are so many creators out there who are struggling to make ends meet#and I am privileged enough to generally not have to worry about that#this would be just like extra spending money to fund my scented candle habit DHDJDN#and the clothes I just bought while trying to Discover My Vibe and Finally Be Myself (at age 28 lol)#also tbh it would likely be reinvested in other commissions bc I buy commissions fairly often lol#anyway. idk the idea of commissions always sounded cool but also guilt inducing and scary#it feels weird and silly bc it would make me have to take my art seriously if that makes sense??#like me saying ‘I think I’m good enough at art that people would buy it from me.’ that feels so bold and like. arrogant or something dhjsjd#coming from me I mean. just a silly little guy who still struggles to draw human limbs properly#ok I’m thinking about how I’d have to make a commission sheet and put a dollar sign on my art and I’m aaaaaaa#and I’d have to execute exactly what people want and what if I can’t!!!#omg ok maybe noT help lol#well im not committing to anything rn im simply. asking a question while the dash is asleep and then running off to bed seeya#i think part of me always wanted to try commissions to see if I could be a Real Artist about it ??#and potentially end up with like. Portfolio pieces ??#why I would need an art portfolio I don’t know. I am an editor. What do I think I will be doing here#ppl left comments on my animatic that have been giving me crazy what if thoughts. sit down#don’t look at me#ohhh swirly brain thoughts I need to sleep
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Just watched Fool’s Paradise!
#wow! that was BAD!#im drinking btw#not even drunk but tipsy yes#damn it’s sad but weirdly like#huh…#thinking about how bad this movie was#looking past the fac that it was clearly a lot of satirical inside jokes that don’t click for a general audience#the plot just massively lacked cohesiveness#it made me realise that charlie never writes an ep of sunny alone?#like he’s always with rob or glenn#and obviously we know charlie and rob have their fights and differences#but watching something JUST written by charlie kinda goes to show how Rob is a balance he needs#he can pick up the gaps and the connecting points that are missing throughout#again like weird ass movie it’s hard to believe this man is involved on sunny if i had only seen that movie from him#but yeah…interesting he’s always a COwriter for sunny#they really need to bounce and work off each other huh#need someone to check them a little? let them know what works and what doesn’t#hm.#ugh i’m kinda annoyed i watched it ngl.#it made me worried for sunny16 which is literally definitely irrational#but jesus christttttt dude#what did i just WATCH.
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a little (lot) worried about my mom but aughhhhh
#camera talks#I don’t like saying it bc I don’t want it to be true so if I don’t say it and don’t think it it won’t be true#but like#her memory is deteriorating I think.#she sent me the same thing twice over a few hours and she didn’t even realize it despite the fact we had a conversation about it#and this isn’t the first time that’s happened#and she’s always asking what time I work even when I’ve told her like 3 times already#and like. her driving is a whole other story and I don’t even like not being in the passenger seat with her#because what if something happens and I’m not in front to deal with it#and her physical pain and health is also really bad right now so I’m super worried about that for her#but she’s not that old really so I feel like I’m over reacting and#-and no one else is acting concerned over this like. it makes me so fucking panicked ???#uhm. irl on here that is currently staying at my house ignore this im normal and not freaking out about my mama so it’s fineee
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the only person who matches my freak as i touch my reflection and whisper “am i normal” into the big gym mirror is the guy in the corner who only does weights and makes strange grunting noises every time he moves
#okay so im doing an Everything set at the gym and im there for maybe#45 mins? and i start feeling like lowkey kinda faint and really hungry and blood sugar lowy and i want to stick to working out for about#another hour and a half SO BAD but i feel so ick that i stop to go downstairs to get a snack and I’m like so icked out by myself bc it’s li#like literally EW i don’t even have the self control to stop eating to finish my SET?? and the reason why i decided to go eat is because i#had blood drawn today for like the first time in ages so i was worried if i didn’t get food i might actly like be really sick and im on my#period so im alr not at 100% and i didn’t think I’d be able to finish 1 and a half more hours feeling so faint#but then im like those are all just excuses ur self control is SHIT#I tried to get like nutritious shit I got a protein drink a yoghurt cup and a like one serving bag of chips which YEAH not very healthy but#the store only had a couple of options and I knew if I didn’t have something a little savoury I’d binge more later and Actually have no sel#control… so yeah ❤️ now I’m back finishing my set and regeeeting my life choices YIPEEEE
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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I wish I just knew when/if I did something wrong
#the truest repairman posts#I’m probably making a big deal out of notjing but hey ho this is tumblr what is it for if not. Ranting about your emotions#A little too personally#I’m glad my cat is here honestly because I’d probably be reacting worse if she wasn’t here#I won’t remember this in a month so I don’t need to worry about it jaw clenched hands shaking#I guess I should have expected this I mean what’s the point of feeling like you’ve done something wrong and being upset when it’s confirmed#I just wish I knew what because now it’s the triple element of#If I did something wrong feeling guilty for that#If I didn’t and someone is just upset with me feeling guilty for causing that#And if someone is just a dick not caring about what they say but immediately worrying that by brushing it off as some shitty comment im#Ignoring someone who I actually upset#I shouldn’t get this worked up over something it’s 100% because I’m so tired#I was just already feeling so shit and then it was just confirmed like that… I wish I had someone to talk to now even so I could feel like#Haven’t upset EVERYONE at least#God I hope someone was just being a dick so I can stop giving a fuck#I’m too old to get upset like this man#Sorry for the long tags ig#Vent#Yeah we’re getting there I’d say#Probably should have tagged my like. One other post as vent too
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me remembering the majority of my first couple of months on this site were defined by people who are no longer in my life anymore :
#like . idk why ive been thinking abt them a lot recently but i have#maybe cuz im working on Something that they don’t get to enjoy because they’re petty and refuse to see anything created by me anymore. idk#maybe it’s cuz im finally doing ok without them. making new friends. having new moots. enjoying life more without their company!!#if you know who im talking abt. you probably do. but if you do just ignore#bc i don’t want my experiences with these two to define your opinions of them 👍 im trying to be more mature than that#but at the same time. so much of me wants to call them out and name drop. but i won’t.#because im moving on and honestly? i hope they’re not moving on from me. so they can see what they’re missing !!#anyways . this was brought to you by a pep talk i needed to hear that nobody’s gonna give me#thank u and goodnight#🫧🪴#wayli vague posts#except it’s Directed at People#edit to clarify : if you can see this post. i am not talking abt you don’t worry#the people im talking abt blocked me so they can’t see if so if you can see this it’s not about you !!#all of my current moots are wonderful mwah <3 💕
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i have a dr appointment in two hours and i scheduled a therapy app for monday and i have an interview friday
#suddenly i am the busiest girl#im nervous#i somehow got an interview for the job i was most interested in#but now i’m having second thoughts ..#what if i don’t like it and i take the job and it’s just a big mistake#but on the other hand i just need SOMETHING#especially if therapy goes well and i wanna keep going#it’s a telehealth one which isn’t what i was hoping for#but i’m gonna give it a shot anyways#who knows maybe i’ll like it#and the hospital has a room for it so i can come in and do it there. i don’t have to do it at home#which is nice :]#i hope things work out..i rlly do..#im nervous and kinda scared. just. in general#but first things first i’m gonna worry about my dr visit for today#i was able to schedule one very last minute for the day which was nice#i hope they can figure out what’s wrong with me..#snow.txt
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i am having a genuine core memory type of bad day today like serious SERIOUS things are going down and i missed a flight because genuine life changing events are happening and got put on standby for another which got delayed multiple times til i would’ve missed my connecting flight home and anyways it was overbooked so i didn’t make it on, and then now five hours after they left me at the airport im finally heading home and i was like “well at least i can eat the fries i bought that i didn’t get to eat yesterday” but my useless cousin who has not only been completely useless through this weeks long ordeal but has also been making things worse stepped in and ate the whole giant box of fries cause he “thought we were leaving” even though my mom clearly left half her stuff behind at the house and told him we did not make our flight so she was going to stay in town and try and get me home and also this whole situation (except for the fries) is straight up my fault cause i didn’t wanna get out of bed for 20 minutes when we woke up and like normally this would be fine especially since i went to bed at 2 am packing suitcases and then had to wake up at 7 and also slept super poorly anyways but i still have no self discipline and everything has gone wrong because of that
#i should be freshly showered and in bed right now having a good cry#i’m genuinely seething at my cousin btw we keep asking him to do the most basic things and he makes some excuse#and then it turns out to be a lie#like my cousin is stronger/bigger than i am so my mom wanted his help w the suitcases#and we went out for one last dinner last night but he kept telling my mom he wanted to go home and sleep bc his job starts early#and getting irritated at her when she tried to take two minutes to finish eating#anyways we went home early and he did not go to bed. we could hear him gaming and yelling at the computer til we went to bed at 2 am#and his job starts at 3 am so he can’t have actually been worried about sleeping#oh he also just didn’t go to work and this is like a repeated occurrence#and he didn’t bother seeing us off to the airport or wake up til like 11#when i called him saying we needed him to bring my passport and it was an emergency#idk this all seems like super trivial but my mom is straight up handling a tragedy alone#i won’t deny that i haven’t really been useful but i’ve been coming along everywhere on top of remote working from here#meanwhile he’s kinda just been at home gaming and not leaving his room#i can kind of excuse his brother who’s also been at home but he’s also like super obviously been prepping for a super rough final and idk#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. can you at least have some decency and like#try not to pile more work on my mother who is dealing with one of the worst things that can happen to her#and try to use your parents not being around as an excuse to run around town with your friends#while lying to my mom and saying you need to sleep or work or yeah you’ll be straight home (you’re going for lunch with your buds)#i mentioned something about how i’ve spent time with him instead of my friends when he’s visiting us and he was like ‘you have friends?’#i don’t know man i can’t cry in bed i can’t sleep cause they keep the house cold#basic functioning is making me miserable with the brain issues i don’t know what to do#cause if i go home im going to be in the exact same situation just#with a better bathroom and a guitar and feeling useless and sad because i can’t help#anyways i need to text my boss to let her know no shot i can make it tomorrow#which feels awful cause i was supposed to get back A WEEK AGO i had to extend i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here
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