#im very shook
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I finally made the time to finish this drawing by sacrificing time that i would have spent studying for uni finals, so y’all better appreciate this because when i fail at least I’ll be cool online
(the quality is a bit shit :( so you have to click on it to see it crisply)
#arcane#arcane fanart#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#jayce x viktor#viktor arcane#viktor#jayvik#jayce#jayce talis#wild rune#im shook#digital art#ngl im very pleased with this#i did stuff i normally dont do#so considering that im proud#:)
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I wonder what he told her.
#sebastian solace#roblox#pressure roblox#kleo draws#doodle#oc#oc x canon#original character#been having.. complicated feelings.#so confused and conflicted#ahit fandom shook me so much that now that i enjoy sebastian i feel all of this trauma and hurt feelings come out all at once#my friends have been very supportive and helping me get over it all but the way seb reminds me so much of snatcher its been very painful#im trying my best to cope with it all. im sorry.
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Sometimes I think to myself "actually maybe I'm exaggerating the terror I felt from being stalked", but then I remember that the person in question followed me and waited for me outside my school every day, tracked me down on every website I'd spent even the slightest time on, left physical letters in my mailbox, sent creepy as hell novel length messages on a near daily basis on FB. And then when I was living abroad and I answered the phone I told the caller to text me cause I couldn't hear, after which I had to read "I was saying that you would probably be VERY scared if you knew who's calling... hehe" with my own damn fucking eyes...
And then I'm like yknow what nevermind!!!! the fact that I'm still terrified of being perceived and seen in public not just IRL but also FFXIV might be understandable actually!!!
#im not saying its what caused my psychotic breakdown cause there were many factors#but needless to say it played a HUGE part especially surrounding the debilitating paranoia i was left with for years#i should mention that i only learned LAST YEAR that this person supposedly gave up according to them#by an old mutual classmate (the only one im still in contact with sadly because this person destroyed all the connections i held dear)#(we were classmates for years and this fucked me up cause we were friends for years before it all went down)#but yeah so last year they gave up apparently and it started 2012.#id managed to evade their notice online since 2019 when they last contacted me on facebook and i assumed id simply shook them off#given the habits i developed as a result of it that still affect me in ways i hate#but yeah its only been about a year of feeling relatively safe for the first time since 2012... and even then only relatively#cause i have no idea how permanent that is. and i dont dare to fully relax knowing what the person is capable of in terms of violence#hysterically tumblr is one of the very places online where they never found me it seems#but yeah. apparently they can just move on and here i am meanwhile still feeling the effects#such as feeling like im drenched in ice even in fucking *ffxiv* just because someones targeting or emoting at me#even though its never actually a problem! its a normal thing! and yet that brief moment of dread and fear seems to stick#IDK WHY IM RANTING ABOUT THIS I WAS JUST REMINDED AND. AURGH#awful. horrible. hopefully itll be fine forevermore and that ill be able to relax one day#silvi talks
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just received +25 psychic damage by relating song lyrics to the treatment of demigods in pjo
#coffins by misterwives#when i tell yall i made myself nauseous#i heard the lyrics “how do you soften the thought of carrying coffins? we were so alive only to see us wither and die” and i thought of#lester carrying jasons coffin to camp jupiter#this entire song feels like demigods who once had faith in the gods. but just can't anymore after being used for so long#god what i could do if i could edit videos still#lyrics “your ego swallowed you and from there you fled so far away could not find your way back”#SO lester coded#OH FUCK IT GETS WORSE#“i shook your ears tried to make you hear my call but you were long gone. no hope in a sunless dawn”#tell me thats not piper when shes holding jasons body#oh my GOD I SHOULD BE SLEEPING RN BUT SDJFKSLNFJSKLNJK im inflicting the damage on myself at this point#trials of apollo#the burning maze#toa spoilers#tbm spoilers#jason grace#lester papadopoulos#piper mclean#percy jackson#pjo#oh my GOD upon further analysis#it could also be very much thalia @ luke coded#about his corruption and turning his back on demigods#ohhhhhh this song is going to be the death of me
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i've been saving a lot of palettes recently to use for doodles, and finally got around to doing one. despite being just. ASS at working with limited colors - like, 5 colors is HARD to work with, especially when you use one for lineart and make the lines too thick to make using that color again for coloring look good - i'm really happy with this!
...i did cheat a bit though with the lighter color around the star. it just looked like. kinda off without it though so it's fiiiine-
#it was really hard to get the coloring to look good for his lower body#bc his pants and shoes are both dark and i had 2 dark colors to work with total so. yeah cjhbjcv i had to keep playing around with it#and i only wanted to use the lighter blue? turquoise? whatever you wanna call it for the star and his hair/eyes#so that those areas would pop#also like im ass at backgrounds ususally but! i like this one it looks cool methinks :]#symbolism :]#shook arts#oc shiz#takoshi (oc)#smh two takoshis in a row with no masumii#guess i know who i'm drawing tmmrw lmao#oh yeah palette is from @color-palettes on - you guessed it - tumblr#all of the ones im gonna be using are most likely from that blog lol#ALSO also very happy with the hands#the lowered one still kiiiinda looks jank (it looks better if you look at it upside-down) but yknow. i don't usually draw all 4 fingers#separate because hard so i'm happy with how it came out regardless lol
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Everyone @coffincrows has blasted me in the face with this
And said its just like my royal au and im
Im shaking
Im shaking on my chair
The lyrics
THE LYRIIIICS
#from the very first lyric to the last#my whole mouth was open#:0#aychama talks#im shook#im hecking ahuw6e😃😘😜🤐😜🤭🤪😒😌🥲🤫🤨🥲🤫🤫🤔🤭😶🌫️🤫🤐🤔🫢😌🙄🫨🤭🫥#cotl#cult of the lamb#narilamb#cotl royal au#royal au#Spotify
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old man chilchuck pussy indulgence
#nsft#overwhelmed by such a deep carnal need. the earth shook beneath me#im sorry. im normal now. (IM NOT !!!!!!!!!!)#like chilchuck in all forms is very kissable. but tallman chil is like eating a new thing. a surprise. yumy
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not a single braincell to be found amongst them not a single damn one
#theyre perfect they are made for each other#dmen whos head are so empty if you shook them around nothing wold rattle up there#STOP ZOOMING IN ON FORSY ON THE BENCH WHEN HE HAS THE BRAIN EMPTIEST EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE AS YOU TALK ABOUT HIM#EKKY IS FINE HE ALWAYS LOOKS LIKE THAT#BUT PLEASE NOT FORSY#THE WORST TIMES TO ZOOM IN ON HIM JUST HAPPENS#ekky has the same dumb cute face my dog has when his food bowl is “suspiciously” less filled because he is greed incarnate and doesnt know#what self restraint is and he keeps eating chicken off the road and got a tummy ache and now he just sits behind me and hounds me down unti#i give in and give him his proper portion#forsy as my friends cat that i was very hesitant to touch because i have rough hands (because big dogs all my life)#and i was like this poor cat is gonna hate me and my friends like nah treat em like a dog i promise they like it check this out#(proceeds to spin this cat around with their foot)#so i treat them like one of my dogs and im like alright bud you like this a little too much but i love you too you are the light of my life#same kitty we tease by opening the door and go look! youre free! go on! to which they just go mweor?#and stalks back further into the apartment because hes a very good kitty because that isnt permission to go out#once again the most doglike cat i have ever met in my life#i look at them with so much love in my eyes its so apparent in any picture taken of me with that cat#and thats how i feel about forsy
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Y’all remember in BB7 when Dr. Will stood up during a veto meeting and told his houseguests he hated all of them and to vote him out?
Or in BB10 when Dan played puppet master with 4 of the houseguests at the veto meeting to get his nomination roulette game into motion so he could put Michelle up and take some of the blame off himself?
Or in BB12 when Brendon won the veto and in his veto speech Andrew told the house he was going after Brendon and Rachel and then proceeded to still ask for Brendon to use the veto on him?
Or also in BB12 when Brendon called Britney, who had the veto, a spoiled brat during a veto meeting?
Or in BB16 when the second veto meeting became an entire house meeting to expose Devin’s game?
Or in BB3 when Marcellas’ dumbass decided to not use the veto and got himself sent home?
Or hell even LAST SEASON in BB24 when the Leftovers formed to protect each other, and especially Taylor, so they concocted a speech for Turner to use in the veto meeting where he called out the houses dogpiling and mistreatment in regards to Taylor and how he shouldn’t have to call out that kind of behavior to a group of people all older than him and he proceeded to blindside the other side of the house by putting up Ameerah and Terrance?
Hisam’s speech wasn’t even close to any of the chaoticness or hilarity or iconicness of any of these past veto meetings tbh.
#unless this was a very very choppy edit#i think the house overreacted😭#it was pretty tamed compared to anything i listed up there#and theres more iconic ones i cant remember im sure#but hisams speech was so normal#im baffled the house was shook by it#bb25
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Just read the new Jackson’s diary chapter. Ha. Ha. Ha.
You’re so funny Paola.
I’m dying of laughter of the floor. You see my shoulders shaking? The tears running down my face? I’m just laughing too hard, I promise.
You really make the funniest stories.
#jd#jackson’s diary#im not even joking#my little sister was very concerned#I sat laughing on the floor so long#I shook the girl who asks for shots when we go to the doctor.
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Okay I've finished The Blood of youth and in my opinion:
- the drama ended in the best way possible (we are ignoring episode 25/26) for our main character but its funnier when you think about how Xiao Lingchen told the late Emperor to pass on the throne to his least favourite son.
- before they revealed that he had written two edicts I was seriously wondering like "...do you really not like Xiao Chong that much old man???"
- but I'm glad he wrote two. man really said "go fight it out between yourselves"
- in all seriousness though, I think he did that because he trusts these two princes to be mature enough to not repeat his mistake. Also because both Xiao Se and Xiao Chong have proven that they are mature enough to lead Tianqi, no matter who ends up on the throne.
- and his trust was not misplaced! Xiao Chong didn't immediately announce the edict in his hands because 1. Xiao Se isn't even in the palace, 2. I'd like to think that he knows that Xiao Se has no intention of being Emperor, and would much rather roam the jianghu instead and 3. he wants to let Xiao Se announce it himself, whether he accepts or rejects the edict, instead of making that decision for him.
- I loved that Xiao Se was still himself at the end of the show, that he did not forget those who helped him along the way and did not lose himself in the (one-sided) bloodbath that Xiao Yu started.
- The only issue I have with the ending was that Zang Ming wasn't there when the edict was read out??? Dude did not sacrifice his eyes to be left out like that...
^ the contrast to the start!!
#also I was shook when Xiao Se actually bowed to him??#and the ending with Xiao Chong using a sword deity as a messenger had me cracking up#but it shows how much the wrathful sword deity dotes on his disciple and i love it#the blood of youth#xiao se#xiao chong#少年歌行#sorry if its incoherent im very tired rn
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talking to a 57yr old in a DID support group im in is really nice actually its cool to hear about approaches to healing from someone almost three times my age and realise we are basically trying to do the same thing
#he gave me some tips and they really might be a good shout#but also its nice to talk to someone who wasnt raised on the internet#very different and yet very similar#kostik speaks#its crazy how estranged i feel from people (with DID) my age because theyre often very. internet informed#and often have very little experience with or knowledge about healing#plus even if they wanted to (that a lot. seem to not...) at this young age they might not have had the chance to access treatment yet#its usually me who has to coach Them#so im glad i found another person on the same page as me#helps me feel less like a freak and more like yes. this is my disorder. and people who also have my disorder are similar to me. see#the internet really shook my ability to believe that so im glad its coming back#maybe this should have gone on the sideblog. oh well#did tag
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OH MY GOD I'VE HAD ASTHMA THIS WHOLE TIME??
#tw caps#tw all caps#bro wtf#i just used an inhaler for the first time and im SHOOK#i can breathe?#i wasnt breathing before?!?#dude no wonder i felt like shit#this also explains that very exasperated doctor who did my lung function test lol#he wasnt qualified to diagnose me with anything though so i never got a diagnosis#this explains so much though#like all the times that i just suddenly couldnt breathe and no one believed me and they all said it was anxiety
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Listening to otaku hotgirl
#megan is a queen#👑🩷#anyways today is too hot i think im gonna melt#i already sat in 2 caffes what a girl gotta do not to dehydrate 🤷♀️#a dude stopped me and shook my hand he introduced himself and said that im very pretty#like wow so random thank u 👍#its so hot outside i think 89.6 °F#🫠🫠🫠#im ded#i wanna go to my roooooom#anyways stay hydrated and don't be like me#🩷
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THE TOUR MAKES ME EMOTIONAL IDK WHY
#TALKING TO THE JAPANESE AND SINGAPOREAN(?) LADY WHO WERE ATTENDING TO US WAS SO FUN IM ACTUALLY SAD I WONT SEE THEM AGAIN WIWIWIWIWIWIW#I told them i really appreciated their company and i shook their hands and SHE WAS ACTUALLY EMOTIONAL and she asked me for my name eee#miss joey you were so fun 💚💚 i dont rmbr thr japanese man's name... kanji? kaji? i could be wrong but... he's so goofy i adore him#AAGHH I JUST. FEEL SO#THIS IS THE KIND OF IRL CONVERSATION I WANT... IT MAKES ME SOO WARM WIWIWIWI#hes such a joker and shes informing. hes also very informing but he likes bein sillay#ME LIKING THE TOUR GUIDES MORE THAN THE ACTUAL TOUR NGNGNGKGLGLGKG#AAAAAA IM GONNA MISS THEM BOTH#JAPANESE MAN* MY BAD
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new icon time bc the moment we hit double digits on the halloween countdown my brain genuinely straight up forgot it was still summer
#*changes my icon and immediately forgets so I get jumpscared every time I use hold to rb on mobile*#oh yeah and here’s this funky guy. haven’t posted him before#he exists bc my hand shook in the wrong direction when messing around with a completely different Weird Cat concept and I went o shit that’s#better actually#my art?#my oc art#character art#original character#oc art#furry#character design#ignore that this draft is almost three weeks old just don’t even worry abt it#life is. hahahaahaha. so much rn my summer has been Dog and Constant Stress and art is just. not able to be a priority rn#so ofc I have many ideas :’) someday im gonna be able to do things just bc i feel like it for more than five minutes again. someday#i do have like 4? i think? finished pcs of Bear Art from the past few months that i might post for fbw let me know if you want that perhaps#but that’s not for another month or two I think? i should know that im sorry brooks falls bearcam i have failed :(#there’s some stuff in the drafts i forgot I didn’t post too actually#maybe I’ll get around to that with my. very minimal free time the next couple of days (<- probably won’t)#on that note#if you commissioned something from me and I haven’t posted it pls don’t be sad i am simply attempting to survive the summer#my brain is not good in hot weather under the best of circumstances and this has not been those#I Do plan to post them they just take more brain than like. this quick silly doodle for myself to draft out#i know ppl probably are not worried i am simply. afraid.#anyways. look a creature
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