#im trying to release it....tomorrow
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if my first EI fic was too dark for you, my second EI fic should be right up your alley 👌
#danny phantom#no spoilers but it's pretty goofy#not the most goofy thing i've ever written#but it definitely has its shenanigans#im trying to release it....tomorrow#ectoimplosion2024
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The art of the deal. The brick was so hard to draw for no reason. (Gangle canonically has a bodypillow and watches anime)
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tdac#tadc caine#kinger x caine#royalteeth#kingleader#tadc gangle#tadc zooble#im back guys!!!!#uploads might be slow but I'll try to release a comic strip tomorrow#though I dont have any saved up :[#Instead I might do a lot of small posts as well as doing some asks so I can open them back up again later
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we may be back yall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I was going to make a post along the lines of "holy sHIT tomorrow we get TNTL with courtrasha! and tomrasha! and amarasha! and charasha!" and then I realized that maybe I just really love arasha's dynamic with a lot of people lol.
im still right though, this is a KILLER combo of people for me, personally. im excited.
#smosh#arasha lalani#do I have time to watch immediately upon release tomorrow. absolutely tf not. but know I am very excited.#okay back offline for me lol I should be focusing#amanda lehan canto#courtney miller#chanse mccrary#tommy bowe#legit tho this is basically the list of my fave arasha dynamics im winning so hard#tntl#try not to laugh#tomrasha#amarasha#courtrasha#charasha
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Another Rocket doodle from vol 2 when he manages to shield himself from Ego's tendrils. I love his resourcefulness in dire situations
#twiggz art#rocket raccoon#guardians of the galaxy#gotg#gotg 2#im trying to distract myself#totk releases tomorrow i cant believe it#but i have to wait for my copy to be shipped#so crabby puppy doodles to keep me occupied
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Since writing the affirmations and starting manifestation again, I've actually been in a much better headspace. It's crazy how things align, and you end up where you need to be, especially through pain
#txt#have been reading the affirmations every day twice a day sometimes#doing my intentions and manifesting what i wsnt#which is mainly independence#also a good relationship with my ex from here#mainly stuff for me tho#and the full moon on Wednesday which is in scorpio which is his sun sign#will be a big release and maybe i can let go a bit or a lot lol#i need to move on and focus on myself and what i want in life and doing it all on my own#with support obviously but ive never been fully independent and im so ready for the blessings and the open doors#i dont know if ill truly ever be over him but i have to try for my own sanity at this point#i dont want to manifest anything selfish like him coming back to me because it probably wont happen anyway lmao#i hope i dont sound crazy lmao but coming back into my spiritual journey is definitely what i need#connecting with myself and my purpose feels like the only thing i can do rn#have a driving lesson tomorrow but in all honesty i could just go do the test and pass cause ive been driving forever and im good at it#just need to practice certain things but im nearly there! so close i can feel it and see it#anyway i hope i can keep this energy up and continue to head in a positive direction because it feels really good#if i need to cry about him and the loss then i will but im not going to dwell on it too much#i just need to take it as a lesson and let it go :)#cause at the end of the day i really did lead myself here whether it was his choice to end it or not#blah
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I orphaned all my stories and it feels so weird and empty now 😔
#i havent written anything in years and didnt feel super satisfied with any of those stories#but it still feels weird#im always expecting to see some on my profile but its just empty now#i guess on a good note im writing again! im working hard on 2 major stories#one of which is already a 10k outline and im far from done#i plan on trying to release a sneak peek excerpt tomorrow (if i can get it done in time)#unfortunately for me ranting here its not kpop related BUT it still is the sapphics so 🤷♀️#i mention it here bc all my fics before were mmm and i know i had a few people wanting to keep on my mmm stuff
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up next on chapter 36 of idol sengen… _(:3 」∠)_
#(my toxic trait is that i’ll complain about my work endlessly but still end up doing it anyway… eventually.)#there’s rant 1 (ft. a need to deduce what asuna is saying in full) and rant 2 (which is available in full but still…)#there’s also another mona-rambling session in chapter 38… that im not touching with a 50 foot pole#(all you need to know for that mona-rambling [about frusu] is that mona’s frusu oshi is all of them)#(and that she thinks miyu is like *the* pinnacle of centres in idol groups)#(also someone won a junior dance competition but idk who bc it’s obscured lmao)#can i outsource these panels for a corn chip lmaoooo#m. maybe i should’ve actually worked on this while i was still unemployed last month huh…#bc excuse me company wdymmmmmm im starting work next monday?? the interview was just this monday hello?#ig the interviewer was legit when she said ‘so if i asked you if you can start work next monday—’ huh…#sigh… maybe ch 36 next month then… i’ll do my best over the weekend thoughhhhh#seriously though why is this volume so text heavy l m a o i really wanna get to chapter 40 but…#and then there’s the hard to clean text boxes which… aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#…though i guess i should just count myself lucky that the chapters are still short enough to fit into a single post (with the image limits)#but dang. i just realised that my manga sengen thing has a page on manga updates lmao#who put it there lmaooooo and why is it only up till vol 2? wait. no. what. why does it link to manga.dex#bc dang. someone really had the time to dl the thing image by image? no wonder why they stopped after vol 2…#guess i might as well say why i dont want people to reupload my tls… since we’re in the final stretch and all#so. aside from the obvious ‘idw the creators to find out about it’… i probably made a ton of mistakes while tling it. esp in the early chaps#so i’d like to. y’know. have the chance to update the tls where possible. i’ve done that a couple of times already tbh.#like with rippei’s name post-vol 4 release. and some of the typesetting is p. gross in the early chaps tbvh#i swear tling idol sengen has made me incredibly conscious of grammar and typesetting like you wouldnt believe#esp with official tls… fan tls will always be perfect to me no matter how wonky the wording bc it’s hard but honest work yk#official tls (esp a.i tls) get no concessions from me bc it’s their job that they’re getting paid to do yk.#in any case (if you’ve read this far) if you see any mistakes in the tl please lemme know~~~ please dont hold back on your criticisms ok~~~?#just sound ‘em out in dms here or sth. don’t worry~~~ i won’t eat y’all if you try to correct me~~~~~ unless you’re the md reuploader (jk)#and ik i disabled comments on the other blog (or tried to at least) but that’s bc idw bots to flood the comments bc that’s annoying as he—#anyways sorry for the idol sengen wait (if anyone was waiting for it…) i’ll improve on my work ethic… tomorrow. maybe.
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feeling very weird today 😖
#today & yesterday are the first tjme since i started medication like 4 months ago that ive slept in hours past when i usually take meds#probably juat bc i havent been sleeping enough so mt body is trying to catch up now i dont have thr pressure of work#but not taking my meds at their usual time. is making me feel straaaaange#i dont feel all that sick just rly Weird. anyway took some immediate release so that should kick in soon#tomorrow i need to wake up at 7 and take it then like usual or i fear my routine will becoming permanently Fucked.#which cannot happen bc i have to work!! full time!!#god i rly want to fall back asleep but thats the fucking devil talking ik ill feel so awful but no meds working yet im so tired#the struggleeerrrr. forcing myself to go eat something brb#.diaries
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im rereading my first chapter and honestly i think my writing quality has really gone down because im so worried about getting chapters out on time. i think im going to try to focus more on quality and making sure the ending is satisfying so if it takes a little longer to come out, thats why
#if this has taught me anything its that i need to worry less about releasing regular chapters and maybe write the whole fic before posting#i might end up trying to finish the fic or at least rough drafting the rest before i release#but im not sure yet#i might say this and then post tomorrow! who knows!#personal
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OH FUCK YEAH GOOD OMENS S2 TIME BABYYYYY
#its been RELEASED#good omens#ok im not actually watching it right now bc im Sleepy#though i AM trying to get back on a night shift schedule so im not going to sleep yet#but I'll be watching it tomorrow 🫡#shh ac
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I feel so bad everytime I talk to someone all it just ends up me venting abt work I need to stop doing that
#thats literally ALL thats going on in my life shdfjlhkl#im. so tired#two ER trips yesterday and today has been a hot mess#trying to get paperwork for a purchase has been a pain#overwhelmed by the work I need to do for this event I literally broke down crying today ahhhh#I hate that spending time with people has started to become stressful#like 'I have so much work things to do anything thats not work is immediately going to make me feel bad'#I have a work meeting at 8am tomorrow but idc im staying up for the new genshin release#I desperately need this serotonin#mooky talks#vent post#delete later
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Listening to Mili's new song and the rapid fluctuation between "hehe, mundane words and unpoetic realities sound goofy in a song, how silly :)" and "this manages to perfectly capture my exact dream of the future which is, in fact, the only reason I'm making it through each ridiculous, pessimistic, lonely day OKAY"
#i should really sleep but i had A Moment and wanted to share#okay then.#vacation has been nice!#i use the word loosely -- we never relax on vacation lol its always nonstop visiting family and running around#but we're right next to the ocean and its been beautiful weather and i mean as batshit crazy as they are its nice to see everyone#trying to still keep up with work/schoolwork too but i think im in a good spot#ty to the anons on here and my writing blog -- im jotting down some milgram thoughts and will post them soon >:3#nothing like zoning out of uncomfortable family conversations to psychoanalyze your favorite little murderers and feel better👍#ooohhh and stellagram is releasing new music tomorrow if im reading their twitter right!!!#im hoping to find time tomorrow to listen#arthur lounsbery my beloved#i hope everyone is doing well#take it easy and good luck with school starting and everything!#✨️🌻#rose rambles#music#edit: so i guess i did misread twitter - no music -_-#BUT KOTOKO DOOR!!!
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manic mixed depressive episode on my bday is so fun especially when ur going on 2 days no sleep n have a 12hr shift starting at the asscrack of dawn in 6hrs
#idk if i want to sleep like i do but i don’t i just keep walking in circles n staring off blankly#also bursted into tears for no reason bc i missed my mom and remembered how much i hate my fucking birthday#was in the middle of a borderline argument w my family then just zoned out n glanced at the time and tears welled#6:13???#then i pretended to go to the bathroom to hide my tears from my dad cuz he would’ve yelled at me if i went to my room w/o saying anything#so there i am crying like a pathetic loser on the toilet trying to suppress n swallow down ugly sobs#and there i am crying in my dumpster fire of a room on the floor#i literally go the entire year without crying abt her but every time december hits i always get into this weird funk#and idk why it’s still happening it’s been 7 years#i think my subconscious mind is influencing my body to release the trauma stored inside it bc i was never allowed to grieve her properly#so now in blips of time leading up to my birthday and the next day of her passing i’m 15 turning 16 again#i wish i didn’t have to work tomorrow so i could go visit her at her grave instead like i never go to the cemetery but i really want to#i guess i can go on her actual death day but i don’t want to go with my dad and brothers i just want to be alone#they don’t understand the feeling of losing your mom and best friend on your 16th bday#they don’t understand what it’s like carrying all this guilt and trauma and holding her hand and feeling her hand go limp at my words#i told her it was okay she could let go i would take care of my brothers and protect them from my father and i would be strong for everyone#meanwhile i’m listening to my dad n my aunt throwing all her clothes in trash bags upstairs#i didn’t even get to pick out what clothes i wanted to keep of hers im so angry my dad refused to let any of us miss her#“i miss mom-‘ ‘she’s dead get over it!’#i got over it alright but then this time of year rolls around and i’m under it all again#i miss her so much i wonder if she’d be proud of me i wonder what it would be like to feel her hand in mine again#ooos im crying again lol#im so pathetic i’m literally 23 in less than 30 minutes why am i behaving like a crybaby child#23:33 when i was typing that btw n 333 is my angel/life path number lol#i wanna saw my arm off but i won’t#i debated staring an iv on myself instead but i’m too drained i just want lay down n cry lol#pathetic loser crybaby girl can’t function can’t shut up making everyone uncomfortable with her sadnes n tears stupid stupid stupid#drown in them and die nobody here loves you anymore nobody cares you’re the problem always the problem#i can’t remember if my mom loved me or not everyone says she did but i forgot what it feels like#i wish i never told her it was okay to let go i lied to her i said i’d be okay but here i am manic depressive
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oh btw my birthday is in exactly three months :)
#amazon wishlist release in like two months lol#i just gotta make it to october#i got some points in between that im trying to stay alive for so. its a work in progress#august is next month. its london time#september im trying to get to a local show since they have some international names announced i have to see#probably gonna ask that as my birthday present idk#video games and a lot of cool musing coming out in october. birthday month#november idk. and then its december#trying to trust the process. we'll see where life takes me after wembley. im thinking i gotta make it that far at least to see kip again#im sure seeing him and talking to him (hopefully) will help me carry on so.. yeah#anyways. borf in three months that was the point of this post sorry ramble hours im very tired#probably not gonna stay awake to watch rampage. i'll catch up tomorrow#night is an absolute mess on main
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Unfortunate to say but with my eyebrow bandaid and the red splotches on my nose, I kinda look like I've been in an accident. Or perhaps a fight.
Unfortunate. Considering I have class in the morning.
#speculation nation#might try putting a bandaid on my nose tomorrow. after im back home.#eyebrow bandaid has been very essential tonight bc it's so ITCHYYYY i want to SCRATCH ITTTTTT#but the bandaid is in the way. protecting my scab from my fingers. dear god what is wrong with them lately.#always had the dermatillomania but since a week and a half ago my fingers have been RAVENOUS.#i dont THINK it's bc of the adderall bc i started that almost a full week before the fingers started this#i am simply. doing my best to deal with it.#i did look for tips online and someone recommended this weird picking rock thing. so i ordered one.#it'll come in sometime in the next few days.#if my fingers arent satisfied by then maybe the rock will help. give them something else to pick at.#..... i also just realized i havent been crocheting lately. 🤔 i wonder if that could help release the demons currently infesting them.#for now. They Hunger.#i also have bug bites on my leg and stomach and theyre so itchy like So itchy and it's so unfortunate :(#the leg one is worse. it's like right where my shorts ride on the inner leg. HORRIBLE.#i have a bandaid on it and even still the whole area radiates itchiness. if i didnt have the bandaid itd be raw by now.#oh bandaids... the essential service you provide... protecting me from my own fingers...#i can still scratch around them and kinda under them but they remind me im not supposed to scratch. and it helps.#im still gonna go Insane but im doing my best to mitigate it. havent made myself bleed yet despite the extended episode!#i'll call that a win lol
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