#trying to still keep up with work/schoolwork too but i think im in a good spot
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good-beans · 1 year ago
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Listening to Mili's new song and the rapid fluctuation between "hehe, mundane words and unpoetic realities sound goofy in a song, how silly :)" and "this manages to perfectly capture my exact dream of the future which is, in fact, the only reason I'm making it through each ridiculous, pessimistic, lonely day OKAY"
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uncloseted · 3 months ago
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do you have any tips on how to deal with post work need for playtime 😭 i work with kids as a tutor as a full time job while i’m in Uni and i love it but its takes a toll since im constantly interacting and always have to be thinking and present during my sessions that when i come home, i have no energy or desire or motivation to do my own schoolwork or studying. i just lay down and scroll or hang out with my friends bc im so drained of dopamine from work, I want to lock in with uni and the gym but after working all day, i just want to play around or i just want to turn my brain off and scroll and sleep 😭 how i can find more energy and feel less tired/dopamine seeking after work? :)
Anonymous asked:
any tips on how to have more energy? i work and have uni so when i come home all i want to do is rot and have no energy to workout or do hw or even hobbies, i either want to rot or hangout with my friends bc im so dopamine starved or too tired to do productive stuff
Okay so the first thing that I want to say here is you may just be expecting too much of yourself. Being a full-time student plus working full-time is 80 hours of work a week. I think it makes a lot of sense that after that, all you want to do when you get home is to turn your brain off. Plus, there's not a ton of good research on this, but from what I could find, people feel their best when they have around 4-5 hours of downtime per day. If your brain doesn't get the chance to recharge, adding anything extra to your schedule will be really difficult. I say all of this just as something to consider. I know we live in a world where relaxing can feel like we're wasting our time and that we should be productive every hour of the day, but that's just not a sustainable way to live. If you can, it may be worth looking into whether you can reduce the number of hours you're working or reduce the number of classes you're taking to give yourself a little more free time. If that's not possible, try to cut yourself some slack. What you're doing right now is hard, and it's okay if you don't have the bandwidth right now to add more things to your life.
All that said, there are a few things you can try in order to make the most out of the free time you do have. The first thing I would suggest is trying to carve out time throughout your day to do the things you want to do instead of waiting for the end of the day. Maybe when you wake up in the morning, you read a book or journal for 15 minutes and then have a 5 minute exercise routine, so that even if you don't get anything done after work, you've still done something for yourself. Maybe you do squats while you're brushing your teeth or push-ups while you wait for your toast in the morning. Maybe you take five minutes of your lunch break to do deep breathing or a quick meditation practice. Grabbing little moments throughout your day can help you to feel like you're taking care of yourself, and they really do add up over time.
For after work, what I would suggest is starting small. Maybe you tell yourself that you'll do just ten minutes of studying or just fifteen minutes of exercise or just twenty minutes of a hobby before you start scrolling. A lot of the time, when we get over the initial hump of starting a task, it becomes much easier to keep going on it. And even if you don't, ten or fifteen or twenty minutes of doing something every day is better than doing nothing at all. As you start doing things after work, you'll start building up more mental stamina, and it will become easier to do them over time. For these tasks, I would also try to make them as easy to do as possible, and I would try to make scrolling as hard as possible. For example, maybe you make sure that your homework is on the table or your gym shoes are out or that all of the items you need for your hobby are within reach and you block social media apps on your phone for an hour after work.
The last thing I'll say is that when it comes to schoolwork, it may be a good idea to work smarter rather than harder. For example, NotebookLM can take your class notes, readings, and other documents and give you summaries, answer questions for you, and even generate a podcast of your notes to make the content easier and more engaging. Tools like NotebookLM can make it easier for you to study while on the go (like walking/driving to uni and to work), and can shorten the time you need for studying.
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boygirlnothing · 1 year ago
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the child's diary.
the door is heavy for my little hands
I'm warm and i cant quite see out the windows yet but its ok
the dog makes pitter patter sounds with her claws on the floor
im learning how to use the mp3 player mum got me
i reach up to doorhandles and the good snacks are out of reach
but its ok
i can reach the doorhandles pretty well. they are cold.
i can watch dad in the garden from the window just about.
if im on my tippy toes.
i started getting embarrassed when mum finds me dancing in my room
she doesn't seem to mind but i think i care more now
the cat was outside when we came home today, i dont know why she was so far from home but shes inside now so its ok
the dog plays with me less but i have toy cars and my brothers play with me
i still cant reach the good snacks
the kids at school aren't nice. i stopped dancing.
i dont understand where the cat went
i must be cold outside, i hope shes ok
mum days the dog is wetting the bed, but why is she crying about it?
there are seagulls in the backyard sometimes, dad tells us all to run over when they are here
i forget the beach is close
the dog likes the beach
mum gets the good snacks down for me after school
mums new car doesn't smell the same as the old one
the cat didn't come home. i miss her. i hope she comes home. its too cold out there for cats and theres so many cars. im worried about her.
the dog isn't greeting dad at the door when he gets home very well anymore
i still love when he gets home
hes stinky from work but its ok
i missed him
i dont think the others at school like me very much, im not very good at volleyball that must be why
im practising
i miss dancing
my friends think im weird too
i keep thinking trying to figure out why
i miss when i didn't mind
i miss my cat
the dog cant jump up on the bed anymore
shes getting old.
mum and dad scream at each other all the time
the must hate each other
i wonder if its my fault
i dont understand it.
the dog went to sleep the other day. i understand this time. i understand the cat now too. i am so sad. i miss them both so much. no one went to school or work. the house is so quiet.
the spot by the cupboard where the floor gets warm is empty.
mum comes home crying. dad keeps trying to make her feel better by hugging her but she yells at him.
i know someone made her really upset. the kids in my class do that to me too. they dont like my braces or my grown out bangs. mum doesn't have either of those things, shes so pretty. why would anyone be mean to her?
mum says we are moving to Cranbourne. i don't know where that is.
i miss my dog.
my bed is cold.
its been a while. the move-out and move-in got mixed up and we had to live out of my aunt's garage for a few weeks.
i miss having a house.
mum and dad dont say they love each other anymore.
i wonder if they still love me.
my aunts puppy got hit by a car.
why does everything die.
i miss my house. i miss the round window and hiding under the stairs.
i go shopping by myself now. the clothes i got are nice. i like black skirts.
kids tell me they are too small for me, but the tag is the same as my age so it should be ok.
the new house is ok. the floor is cold and hard. my room is much smaller.
my new friends at school told me the clothes i got will look better if i eat less. that seems like it'll work. i want them to like me here, i dont want them to be like the kids at my other school. i want to be pretty.
i told them about my favourite music, but they didn't like it.
i think I'll stop packing lunch.
i dont miss my old school.
the new medication i got from the doctor makes me less hungry and so so tired but i can do all my schoolwork without getting distracted by books.
i dont really like reading anymore.
but im so tired.
i miss eating.
my friends said i looked pretty though.
the boys give me attention.
they said writing is nerdy snd cringe.
i dont want them to think im weird again.
why is everything to important to me.
i want to hide under the stairs in my old house.
i miss my old house.
i miss my dad.
he left.
i miss my old house.
i miss dancing.
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wondernimbus · 4 years ago
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stressful times — fred weasley
pairing: fred weasley x female!reader
request #1: Can I request soft Fred Weasley comforting his girlfriend when she’s not feeling well/on her period and falling behind in classes/ homework? Pretty please 🥺
request #2: Can you write a Fred x reader where the reader is on her period while at Hogwarts during a time when a lot of tests are happening and she needs to be studying but isn’t and Fred notices cause usually she’s like Hermione and always does homework/studies and he figures out why she isn’t and helps her feel better? 
a/n: THIS IS WAY OVERDUE IM SORRY but i decided to combine these 2 reqs bc they were pretty similar !! 
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[Y/N] is stressed.
School has never been a piece of cake for anyone—not even for Hermione Granger, who is one of the brightest people at Hogwarts, and certainly not for her, one of the Gryffindor Quidditch team's Chasers, and on top of that, a prefect currently studying for her N.E.W.Ts.
Wood expects her to practice out by the Quidditch pitch every free period in preparation for the upcoming match against Hufflepuff. This goes for every member of the team—even the ones who, like [Y/N], are studying for the so-called "big exams". And despite [Y/N] wanting to do well in her tests, she also doesn't want to lose her position in the Quidditch team—so she goes to the practice sessions, anyway, even if it's at the cost of her sleep.
That—coupled with her prefect duties and schoolwork—is wearing her out. So far she has managed to miraculously plow through, but when that time of the month comes and she can barely even bring herself to get out of bed, [Y/N] begins to wonder whether giving up would be a better option.
She could do it. Drop everything and lay in bed all day for the next week or so with a bag of chocolates at her side and pillows cushioning her entire body.
She could—technically, anything in the world is possible—but she shouldn’t, because she has obligations. Prefect tasks; patrolling the corridors and making sure no first-years go astray in the Forbidden Forest (it already happened once—she's not going to let it happen again), N.E.W.T. revisions, homework, Quidditch practice, homework, and then even more homework—
The very moment she wakes up and feels the pain in her lower abdomen, she knows she is done for. She only barely drags herself out of bed and trudges to her classes the entire day feeling like pure and utter dung. Her entire body is sore and her entire mood cranky, but that hardly matters because she has homework to do. And classes to go to. And Quidditch practice and patrolling and studying and Merlin-knows-what-else.
The sourness of her mood doesn't go amiss by any of her friends, and certainly not by her boyfriend, Fred Weasley, who automatically just knows when something is out of the ordinary with her. And while her friends decide to leave her alone after noting her less than pleasant mood, Fred does quite the opposite.
Which is, of course, no different from what he does everyday: stick by her side like glue. And while they'd been best friends for a while, it's only been a few months since Fred finally sucked up the courage to ask her out. So naturally Fred has very little experience with, ah, women’s dilemmas.
To put it simply, he doesn't know how to deal with a girl on her bloody (no pun intended) period. For the love of Merlin, he can't even tell.
So he's a little surprised and his feelings are a teeny bit hurt when he nudges her in the middle of Charms class and whispers, "Was that an earthquake? Or did you just rock my world?" only for her to shake her head without even as much as looking at him.
And so Fred's thought process goes like this: he's done something terribly wrong. He doesn't know what, but he must have, and now he has to make up for it—whatever it is.
First, though, he has to figure out what.
It's midnight. [Y/N] doesn't know how on earth she managed to get through the entire day without passing out, but she did and now here she is in the nearly empty common room, sitting on the carpet in front of the fireplace with several sheets of parchment and open textbooks splayed out before her.
Jotting down History of Magic notes, her face is scrunched up in the utmost concentration. Fred watches her from where he's sitting on the couch, pouting a little.
"Don't you think you should be resting by now?" tries Fred, the concern in his voice audible as his gaze darts from her to her homework.
She doesn't respond. Fred sighs and gets up off the couch to sit down next to her on the ground. But even then, she doesn't look up from her homework, so Fred takes matters into his own hands and reaches out with his hand to gently cup her cheek, trying to tilt her head towards him.
"Not now, Fred.." she mutters, leaning away from him a little to keep writing. His hand hovers in mid-air, fingers now just barely brushing her face as she's moved away. "I have to.. finish this.."
Her tongue is poking out in concentration as she almost feverishly moves her quill over paper. Fred tries not to feel too dejected and lets her be, waiting until she's broken out of her trance enough to grab her attention again. In the meantime, he props his elbows on his knees, the pout on his lips very much evident as he watches her work. He still doesn't know why she's been acting so distant, and no matter how much he tries to mull things over in his brain, he still doesn't know why exactly she's angry at him. Or if she even is angry.
Was his pick-up line really that bad? Could it maybe be because he'd kept trying to play with her hair in potions class the other day? Or is it because of what he did last week, when he’d talked McGonagall’s ear off about how wonderful a girlfriend he had? Maybe Fred should've been a bit more considerate—[Y/N] has always been a teacher's pet, after all, and he knows that the teachers themselves were surprised when they found out that she was dating him, one-half of the devious Weasley twins who had six O.W.L.s combined..
[Y/N]'s hand stills, and for a moment Fred thinks she's finally finished her homework, but her shoulders have bowed a little and her eyes have closed. The effect this image has on Fred is instantaneous: the pout on his lips is replaced quickly by a fond smile as he lets out a quick breath of slightly dubious laughter and moves to gently tap her on the shoulder.
Slowly, slowly, her eyes blink open.
Another tiny laugh. "You fell asleep for a second there, love," says Fred softly, hand moving to touch her hair, and he's so bloody endeared by her it hurts. Voice a mere mumble like he’s afraid of speaking too loud, he says, "Reckon we should turn in for the night, yeah? You and me both."
There's silence as she exhales, leaning into his touch almost unconsciously as her eyes close and her shoulders slump. "I'm really tired," she tells him quietly, nose wrinkling a little as her mouth stretches open in a yawn. (Good grief, Fred's heart aches.) He scoots forward a little into her, gathering her into his lap where she almost automatically curls up, head on his shoulder and her lips just barely grazing the side of his neck.
Fred can't even remember what he'd been agonizing over just moments before. All his fluttering heart cares about at the moment is his sleepy girlfriend, who's shifting a little in his lap to get herself more comfortable, mumbling something inaudible in her half-asleep state. He has to physically suppress himself from throwing his head back and laughing out loud, because something about the situation he's in is making him feel oddly euphoric. He only has to think about if for a few moments before he realizes why: it's because of how adorable she's being. And Fred’s heart might be melting in his chest—should he be concerned?
"I'm gonna carry you up to your dorm, okay?" says Fred, tone just loud enough to make himself heard but quiet and soft enough so as to not jar her awake. He feels her nod a little against his shoulder. Carefully, he gets to his feet, one arm under her legs and the other supporting her back the way a groom would carry his bride. (The thought crosses Fred's head very briefly and just like that he's smiling goofily to himself.)
And the moment is romantic and intimate in a quiet, calming way, until Fred makes the big mistake of murmuring, "I'll fix up your homework and bring it to you so you can work on it tomorrow" and [Y/N] quite literally freezes in his arms. Her entire body goes rigid.
"Homework. Oh, crap." Fully awake now, she lifts her head off of his shoulder, looks back at her pile of homework still on the ground, and then, her panicked eyes meeting his, she says, "Oh, no. No. I can't—I've got to get it done now, Fred."
An incredulous sound tumbles past his lips. "I could've sworn you were asleep two seconds ago.”
She sighs, squeezing her eyes shut for a few seconds before peeling them open again. Fred notes that the bags under them look even more pronounced up close; something that has him frowning at her. “Put me down, please? I really have to get that essay done."
He huffs, shakes his head, and starts walking towards the staircase leading to the girls' dormitory. "What—" [Y/N] yelps, looking up at him with an expression that suggests he’s admitted to strangling a rabbit. "Fred, I said put me down—"
"And let you work yourself to death? No can do, love." Fred looks down at her, lips pressed together in a sorry smile as he shakes his head. He lifts his gaze back away from her as he begins climbing up the steps, trying not to jostle [Y/N] too much in his arms. His tone sing-song, he says, “You need to rest. The essay can wait."
[Y/N] opens her mouth to predictably retaliate, but Fred stops halfway up the staircase and presses a kiss to her lips, effectively cutting her off. At first she’s stiff, but it only takes her a few seconds to relax and melt into him.
When Fred pulls away with one last peck to the lips, he smiles down at her, eyes twinkling. “Have I changed your mind with my superior snogging skills?”
Unable to help herself, she lets out an exasperated laugh, shaking her head in disbelief. But even then her gaze lingers on her homework, still on the floor in front of the fireplace—totally not yet finished—
“But I’ve only got a few pages left to go,” she says in one last stroke of adamancy.
”And what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you stay up all night without getting enough sleep?” They’ve reached the top of the staircase now, and Fred is fumbling with the doorknob of her dorm room, trying to open it with one hand without having to set her down.
“But Freddy.”
Fred pauses trying to open the door, lips unconsciously twitching up into an incredulous grin as he raises his eyebrows at her. Of course she had to use his one big weakness against him—he loves when she calls him Freddy. Or perhaps love is a severe understatement, because he always goes all putty in her hands whenever she sings it into his ear or shouts it at him from all the way across the hallways.
But Fred isn’t having it, not this time. “But [Y/N],” he mimics her tone, still grinning, and the voice in his heart tells him to peck her lips again, so he does. “I'm telling you, love, you need sleep. And besides, we’re already here—once I get this door open—aha!”
The door clicks open and reveals behind it the dark seventh year girls’ dorm room. Fred peers inside, unsure as he steps a single hesitant foot through the door, and then he withdraws back into the landing. “Suppose I'll have to drop you off here,” tuts Fred. “Can’t really barge into an all-girls dorm room in the middle of the night—even when I’m with you. Mum would have my head.” Gingerly, he sets her down on the ground, making sure she’s standing up completely before he takes his hands away. Grinning, he holds his palm out towards her and says, “That’ll be twenty galleons.”
”I didn’t even ask for—“
“A kiss, then.”
And her incomplete homework is still lingering in her head, bothering her—she really does need to have that done at least before breakfast tomorrow—but Fred is standing in front of her with the same playful smile that [Y/N] has never learned to resist so she sighs and stands on her tip-toes, places her hand on the back of his neck, and pulls him in for a kiss.
Fred is smiling—she can feel it against her lips. Eventually she starts smiling too, unable to help herself. When she pulls away, Fred cups her cheeks in his hand and pecks her forehead—and then her nose, and her cheeks, and her eyelids, and then she’s laughing, saying, “What are you doing?”
Fred lands another kiss to the tip of her nose, then drops his hands back to his sides. “You look far too lovely for someone in dire need of sleep.”
At the mention of sleep, a yawn tears its way out of her throat. Fred has to restrain himself from doubling over and sobbing because Merlin’s beard was that adorable.
”Fine,” [Y/N] says through yet another yawn, hand coming up to rub at her eyes. “Fine. Maybe I am tired.”
Fred gasps far too dramatically. “Who ever could have guessed?”
[Y/N] may be sleepy, but she still has enough strength within her to reach out and shove him lightly by the shoulder. Fred is as theatrical as always; he clutches the spot where she’d touched him as though he’s been fatally wounded.
She rolls her eyes, smiling. Another yawn. Fred drops his act and shoves his hands into his pockets, expression somber as he looks at her, eyes dancing over her own tired ones. “Go get some sleep, alright?”
She purses her lips, shoulders slumping in defeat as she nods. “Okay. Suppose I’ll just try to finish it as fast as I can tomorrow.” And then, voice going soft, she says, “Thanks, Fred.”
Fred is so goddamned endeared.
“And. Um.”
”Yes?”
“Sorry about being so bloody cranky. I'm—“ she pauses, eyes darting away for a moment as she gestures wildly to nothing in particular.
Fred raises his eyebrows.
“On my period,” she mutters. “Have I made it awkward? I'm sorry. I just didn’t want you to think you’d done something wrong for me to be acting.. you know.”
Fred’s brows have risen so far up his forehead he’s surprised they haven’t disappeared into his hair. His mouth has fallen open a little in surprise; whatever he’d been expecting her to say, it certainly hadn’t been that. But part of him is relieved at the knowledge that he hadn’t done anything wrong.
“So that’s why you’ve been acting like someone pissed in your tea,” says Fred teasingly. She rolls her eyes again—another yawn; the largest one so far, actually. He can’t help the fond laugh that tears its way out of his heart and past his lips. Reaching out, he places a hand on the back of her head and kisses her forehead. “Sweet dreams, love.”
She wraps her arms around his middle and nods into his chest, and Fred’s heart melts. “You too, Freddy.”
The next morning, [Y/N] wakes up to a mysteriously completed set of History of Magic homework and a bag of Honeydukes' chocolates on her bedside table.
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spacemiddenzz · 3 years ago
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so i was watching @super-metroid's stream of Jimmy and the Pulsating Mass (highly recommend by the way) and she fought Imaginary Numbers this time. I guess I just wanted to share my thoughts on it, since it's my favorite boss and all. This is gonna be a longpost and it's gonna have spoilers so the whole thing can be found under the cut.
So, to put it simply, this dungeon is about stress and confusion. It's about Jimmy's mind frantically trying to comprehend the high-level math that Andrew is teaching him on top of his schoolwork. Jimmy thinks that his dad is the smartest man in the world- this is hyperbole for sure, but the fact that Andrew is quite intelligent remains clear. Jimmy looks up to Andrew because of his intelligence- and because of this it means a lot to Jimmy to be praised by Andrew. He wants his dad to view him as intelligent as well, because, if a man as smart as Andrew thinks Jimmy is smart, he can't be wrong! And hell, it feels nice to be validated by your parents.
Clearly, Andrew has already recognized Jimmy's talent with numbers and has started teaching him concepts beyond the second-grade curriculum, something that we see in the flashbacks in the Symmetrical Cavern. However if Imaginary Numbers' design is anything to go by, these concepts may be at or above the high school level. They're too much for Jimmy to understand. He's only eight, and his mind just isn't ready for that yet. Still, he feels the pressure to keep up with- and understand- the work that Andrew gives him. Why? Because he fears failure. He worries that if he admits to his father that the work is too hard, Andrew won't see him as a "smart boy" any longer- and that praise and validation means a lot to Jimmy. He doesn't want to lose it.
Let's start with the song that plays during this nightmare dungeon- Counting Backwards From Infinity. From the erratic bassline to the random samples of people shouting numbers in no particular order over and over again, this song simply screams disorder and panic. As a person who has always struggled with math, it's incredibly relatable. Counting Backwards From Infinity always reminded me of taking math tests in high school. I was so slow that I almost never could finish a test in a single class period. The frantic, wild bass and the cacophony of people screaming numbers out of order reminded me of trying desperately to remember how to solve a type of problem- and do it quickly enough so that I could hand the test in before the bell rang. I imagine that this is how Jimmy feels when Andrew places in front of him a concept that the boy does not fully understand. Perhaps he's had it explained to him several times but still can't fully grasp it (likely because, again, the kid is eight). The wild confusion and stress he feels when he doesnt fucking understand what's in front of him and doesnt want to look like an idiot in front of his dad. Even the name of the song is a reference to the fact that at this stage of his life this stuff may be an insurmountable task.
The dungeon itself is also set up in an incredibly confusing way. There's a bunch of bizarre-looking purple structures and winding paths. You teleport all over the place with no particular rhyme or reason. The enemies in this area, too, are deformed geometrical shapes that are almost Lovecraftian in the way that they cannot be understood. To Jimmy, Andrew's teachings might as be as comprehensible as a Lumpagon or a Squiggles, and that's definitely the idea that one gets here. The confusion, the pressure, the panic.
At one point in the dungeon you're teleported to a fakeout area that looks like the Path of Enlightenment. This is my favorite thing about the Asymmetrical Cavern, because of the fact that it has so many cool secrets, but also because it gave me a feeling that I could (once again) relate to. Jimmy's teleportation to the Path of Enlightenment isn't random. It represents familiarity in a sea of confusion. Jimmy sees something he recognizes during Andrew's lessons. Maybe he thinks that he's finally got the hang of it- that he's studied hard enough and now all of this jargon makes sense- only to be rudely awakened by the fact that he's been doing it wrong and never understood the concept in the first place. Even the secrets kind of hint at this. If you speak to pointman in this part of the dungeon he says "I am the blood of numbers leaking from your ears. The nails of ignorance are already being driven into your brain. What point is there in giving voice to madness?" (which is metal as fuck by the way)
Jimmy just thinks that his inability to understand makes him an idiot. His lack of understanding- the nails of ignorance- are being driven into his brain. If he can't understand all of Andrew's teachings, maybe he was never a smart boy after all.
And finally let's talk about Imaginary Numbers itself. First of all, it's an amalgamation of a bunch of different mathematical symbols, including a tombstone, a slashed epsilon, and a sigma. I'm sure there are more, but those are the only ones I recognized, honestly. Given that dreams don't really make things up, instead just taking things that you have seen/experienced before, it looks like Jimmy has encountered some... seriously advanced shit. Tombstones are used in geometric proofs. I only started doing proofs in high school geometry, meaning that Jimmy may very well be learning concepts meant for kids twice his age. No wonder the poor kid is stressed.
Oh yeah, also the boss sucks ass to fight. I've heard some people call that bad game design, but I'm not sure that's how I'd classify it. Sure, like I said, the boss sucks complete ass to fight and is almost entirely RNG-dependent. From a gameplay standpoint, this is wack as hell, yeah. Fucking 30% chance to deflect any magical or physical attack with a 30% chance to dodge a physical attack on top of that? Definitely bad game design. But from an artistic standpoint? Not at all. In fact, the futility of this fight adds to it. It really drills into your head that the only thing on your side here is pure fucking luck. And the odds aren't in your favor.
The feeling of futility- of the fact that this may in fact be, by all definitions, an insurmountable task for Jimmy, really struck home the situation. The battle would not be nearly as impactful without this. And personally, I'm all for it. Imagine walking into the Asymmetrical Cavern for the first time, not knowing what to expect. You get your ass handed to you on a silver platter by Imaginary Numbers after it chains Program Omega at you five times in a row.
That's the feeling Kasey wanted to give you. And it's critical. It's just... so perfect, I honestly don't know how to put it into words. It was supposed to represent the confusion and turmoil of a task nigh insurmountable. And it did the job pretty damn well, if I do say so myself.
I know Jimmy is good at numbers and this wasn't supposed to represent a real struggle with the subject of math/the concept of numbers in general, but hot damn if I didn't feel seen. Except Jimmy is eight but I was like 17 struggling in precalc with the same shit. I guess we know Jimmy's smarter than I am rip
TLDR; andrew please stop putting unnecessary stress on your kid youre freaking him out
anyway if you guys have any thoughts about this boss or this dungeon in general i would love to hear them. but where im at its like 2 AM so im probably gonna it the mf sack for now. later dudes
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heyitsyn · 4 years ago
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Prove Me Wrong
M!Reader x Oikawa
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a/n: SDKLFJSLDKFJDLSKF OKAY I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST UPDATED BUT I REALLY INVESTED MY TIME INTO RESEARCHING AND READING FANFICS WITH AN M!READER BC I REALLY DIDNT WANNA GET IT WRONG SO I APOLOGIZE IF I DID SOMETHING WRONG AND I HOPE THIS ANON LIKES IT!!!
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anon:
-heres an interesting thought. what about flamboyant oikawa with a cold boyfriend😳😳
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YEYYY I FINALLY UPDATED
LETS GET STARTED SHALL WE?
okayokayokay
so in the request above
this is a m!reader
meaning you will be male in this one so hehe yep the story starts now
you are,,,
distant
and cold
but its mainly just because you were,,,
too tired to actually put in the effort of socializing
between bouncing between part-time jobs to care for your siblings and to schoolwork and book club
the mans can only do so much
so you spend most of your time in school just trying to catch up on sleep bc youre too busy studying up all night for exams since yanno
✨gRaDuaATiOn✨
unfortunately for you, your class had the famous manwhore oikawa tooru
why is that a bad thing?
well, imagine just trying to get some shut eye and suddenly, you just hear a bunch of screaming girls and it gets louder the closer the guy approaches your classroom and when he opens it,
the screams become 10x bass boosted
then imagine that with your sensitive hearing
now,,
it does bother you but it wouldnt bother you as much if he told them to leave
BUT NOOOOOO
he decides to let them in and chat with them and flatter them and continue with that bs until the bell rings
even then,
the girls in your class cant help but keep giggling at him and he always whispers in that obnoxious voice and youre just like two seconds away from ripping his tongue out
now
you dont hate him
you just genuinely dislike his way of living
and the way he talks
and the way he acts
yea see?
no hate
theres a difference
then there was that one time that you got so fed up with it that when oikawa settled on his seat and the fangirls circled him like some cult
they started talking to him all at once trying to get his attention
so it was a garbled mess of sounds and you growled, burying your face deeper in your arms because you would snap really really soon
then one girl shrieked when oikawa smiled at her and then you really just let go of all bearings
your chair made a squeak as you shot up, palms slamming against the wooden desk and your eyes glaring straight at them
‘go back to the farm, ya squealing pigs’
DSKFJLSDFKJSDFKDJS SORRY I LOVE TSUMU
this made everyone silent-even the others in the class just minding their own business
they all knew you as the quiet kid who didnt really talk much but those who did were really scared at you and the way you talked to them with such a cold and monotonous voice that they started spreading rumors about you
even absurd ones like your eyes are so cold bc youve killed so many people that you have no life and empathy left
LIKE WHAT THE HECK YOU STRUGGLED TO GET A SPIDER OUT OF YOUR SISTERS ROOM THE OTHER DAY LIKE EXCUSE YOU
but apparently they were just,,, so scared of you that when you finally got done with them and bursted out, the girls started crying
YALL KNOW THE SAYING LIKE HELL HAS STARTED WHEN THE QUIET KID SNAPS
the females run out of the room scared and the others nervously looks at you
your eyes sweeped through the room and each one of them flinched when you made eye contact with them
YES ASSERT OUR DOMINANCE M/N
the only who didnt was oikawa tooru himself
your eyes landed on him and he still had that stupid smug look on his stupidly gorgeous face and you wanted to ki-WAIT NO SLAP it off of him
‘the hell you looking at?’
you grumbled at him and he just merely shook his head with a smile
‘you remind me a chihuahua, m/n-chan. so cute when its angry’
‘HAH?!’
now it isnt a surprise to hear oikawa tooru say that to a boy bc wowza the school loves him so much that hes a bi icon in seijoh and hes such a king like who cares?
but they were surprised to see you turn red, the tips of your ears to the base of your neck were all flushed
‘see? so cute, right, everyone?’
KSDFJLSDKJFS
THE NERVE OF THIS MAN
the class didnt say anything except just put their heads down bc as much as they wanted to agree with oikawa at how suddenly hot you looked, they were too scared that you might plummet their faces to the ground
maybe thats when everyone started noticing you more
again, you were very quiet, you didnt talk much, you just sat there and listened so obviously you didnt really stand out but then that outburst made you more noticeable
you started seeing girls in your class staring at you then blush and look away abashedly
then the guys in your class started greeting you, even people in the hallways
ngl the attention you suddenly got was overwhelming
especially when oikawa seemed to call out to you all the time now
as you were walking down the stairs, hed see you and he’d shout and wave to you
‘m/n-chan! hiii!!!!’
his loud voice would make everyone turn and look at you and you dont do well with public attention so you turn red and you glare at him
‘shut the hell up, idiot. and dont call me by my first name. we’re not friends’
you turned to walk in the classroom but you looked at him again after taking a few steps
there he was
smiling and giggling with those girls
all he does is smile and giggle and shit
its so damn fake that you cant believe everyone fell for it and the worst thing is oikawa’s doing it to get everyone’s acceptance and validication
it was pathetic and disgusting
poor oikawa :(
now on to baby flatttykawa side,
he was kinda hurt by that
like how the heck are you not friends when youve been going to high school for 3 years?
sure, its only been casual greetings and him waving at you when yall made eye contact
but its still something, right?
right?
when you walked back into the classroom, tooru cant help but feel down at the declaration of the lack of friendship you had
his form slouched and his eyes trailed down but the voice of some girl brought him back to where he was and to fix his attitude
‘oikawa-san? are you okay?’
the others muttered in concern with her but they were eased when he raised a peace sign with the signature smile 
‘yep! all good!’
GOD I REALLY CANT STAND IT WHEN HE USES A FACADE TO EVERYONE BUT LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BC HES SUCH A STRONG CHARACTER THAT DOESNT BREAK AND HES SO INSECURE AND IT PAINS ME SO MUCH THAT HE FEELS THE NEED TO HIDE BEHIND A MASK EVERYDAY AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
truth be told,
oikawa has always noticed you
not only do you work at the one bakery with his milk bread but you also work at the convenience store that the team sometimes visits
then he also noticed you picking up your brother from the volleyball practice that takeru’s part of and he cant help but frown at the eyebags under your eyes that he always sees
he lies awake at night just thinking how you would look without those eyebags, without the sickly looking complexion, or even just the lack of life in your eyes
then during class, you sat by the window
tooru knows this bc his eyes always fixes itself on you whenever he opens that door and he has to hold in the need to hug you when he sees you sleeping on your desk
others might call you lazy
others might call you a video game all nighter kid
but they dont notice the things you do
the nervous habits hes seen from you at the times that tooru couldnt help but stare
he knew it was creepy to do it
but you were so silent
you blended yourself into the background and you made sure to stay there 
thats why nobody knows anything about you
with good looks like yours and a smart brain (he knew this from mattsun and makki being your students), why exactly were you not known?
maybe thats why it drew you to him
all his life he chased, 
but now hes the one chasing?
tooru knows that your left eyebrow lifts when sensei writes something you dont understands
tooru knows that you like to do sudoku in the convenience store while you worked
tooru knows you eat the same meal during lunch every day from the same lunchbox
and he also knows that your brother talks so highly about you from takeru
the little things your brother brags about like your ability to cook f/f or your weird ability to just assemble something without looking at the instruction manual
he notices and knows all these things about you
things that people never really even bothered to 
oikawa didnt even know he liked you until iwaizumi pointed it out during lunch
the third years liked to go and eat at the rooftop where it was nice and windy
oikawa was sitting and leaned against the tall wire fence, his eyes fixated on you down below on the bench as you ate your lunch
then you accidentally loosened the chopsticks causing your food to slip off
that made oikawa giggle
he was chuckling and giggling that the others noticed him when he suddenly went quiet
‘oi, oikawa’
makki nudged him back to them and tooru flinched before smiling at them
‘hm? so you do notice me!’
iwa glared
‘idiot. of course we do. youre laughing over there like some damn schoolgirl. did one of your fangirls posses you or something? if not, cut it out. its ugly’
oikawa shot him an offended look
‘what?! iwa-chan so mean!’
mattsun took the liberty to peer over the edge to see what he was looking at and smirked
‘eh? were you looking at l/n-sensei?’
oikawa blushed, feeling like he just got caught doing something bad
‘and what about it? im looking at you too, right now, mattsun!’
makki cackled at oikawa’s poor attempt of reasoning
‘i mean, i dont blame you. if issei wasnt here, id definitely get with him’
SEDKLFJSDLFISDKFJ MATTSUHANA YALL :”)
oikawa’s eyes wandered back down to you and he noticed you put the bento box to the side before sneezing
‘gosh, even his sneeze is cute’
he mumbled then jolted when he heard his own words 
iwa sighed
‘what are we going to do with you, shittykawa?’
‘what?! what did i do?!’
iwa’s eyes scrunched and he scrutinized his best friend
‘boke. i feel bad for that kid, doesnt know this stupid idiot likes him’
so thats how oikawa came to terms of it
he thought he was just interested and fascinated with you but he really does like you
and to be honest, he doesnt really want you to know that bc duh, you dont like him so why bother?
baby oiks doesnt interact with you much anymore bc he knows you get uncomfy with attention but he still does look out for you and decides he should just admire from afar
he will live every day just holding his feelings in for you and one day they will disappear
but today just wasnt the day
maybe today was the start of the worst yet the best part of your life
last night was particularly rough as the convenience store you worked in had a drunk person who wanted to fight with you and your manager had to call the police and it was just a mess
to add on to it, midterms were around the corner-like next week- so you were studying up for that
but your sister got sick so you were also trying to take care of her and making sure her fever was going down and her crying ever few hours about her tummy ache didnt allow you to sleep
hehehe single parent working late tingz
ALSO SHE DOESNT HAVE MISS RONA JFC
so yep haha you did NOT get any sleep
so you walked into school that morning, looking tired as hell and mad as hell but you just wanted to sleep bro
the one kid you tutor, matsukawa issei, and his friend who usually tags along, hanamaki takahiro, noticed you dazedly pass them in the hallway and poor dudes felt bad for you
mattsun actually pays you to tutor him bc he knows you need the money while taka preferred to buy you snacks and drinks as compensation
so it was normal that he had an energy drink in his bag that he was going to give you tomorrow during your tutoring day
‘oi! l/n!’
your head perked up at the call of your name and you nodded in greeting at the light brown haired boy
‘hey’
you muttered and mattsun placed his hands on your shoulder to keep you upright
‘oi, l/n, you sure you want to be here? you can go home and we can tell them youre sick or some-’
but you waved your hand
‘nonono todays an important lecture so i cant miss it’
the two guys didnt look convinced but they respected your need to be in school since they too need to be in class for midterms
‘here. at least take this’
makki placed a drink on your hand and you nodded and gave them a small smile
‘thanks’
you mumbled before wandering off
once they saw you at a distance away, makki wrapped an arm around issei to get his attention
‘ya think we should tell oikawa to keep an eye on him? make sure he doesnt keel over and die or somethin?’
mattsun stopped before nodding
‘yea thats a good idea’
SKLFJLSDKJFD NOT MATTSUHANA BEING YOUR PARENTS
oikawa was already in class when you walked in and he cant help but tear his eyes away from the girls to you as you sluggishly walked to your seat
the drop of your bag and the thud of your head meeting the desk made him worried bc you looked worse than usual
his phone buzzed and he checked it to see a message from mattsun
‘keep an eye out for your boyfriend. mightve been working late last night and yanno how he is. just watch out if he faints or something’
okay that made him super worried
totally ignoring what mattsun called you, oikawa knew he needed to talk to you
but these fangirls were the first problem
he shut his phone off and looked up at them with a grin that made them madly blush
‘ladies, class is about to start. oikawa-senpai would hate for you to be marked. so study hard for me, okay?’
like hypnotized cult members, the girls ran to their classrooms and tooru finally had the opportunity to talk to you
he stood up and walked over to your seat
‘m/n-chan’
he called out, looking down at you
‘m/n-chan’
he tried again and was about to put a hand on your shoulder when your hand snatched it
‘dont touch me, oikawa’
you grumbled and tooru furrowed his eyebrows
‘m/n-chan, i just wanted to ask if youre okay’
he whined and you didnt bother to look up but just let go of his hand
‘i was until you came over, idiot’
ouch
tooru was thankful that the teacher came in then and there bc he didnt know how to respond to that
he wanted to brush it off but it hurt him a little
and he knows he shouldnt entertain his crush on you but he couldnt looking at you and watching as you got up to use the bathroom 
as class went on, oikawa was starting to worry
now again, hes no stalker bc his observation skills were just phenomenal due to volleyball
so he noticed that youve been in the bathroom for like 20 minutes now
DONT JUDGE US, OIKAWA. WE’RE JUST TRYING TO PUSH OUT THE BIG PIECE OF-
okay nevermind
anyways
tooru, worried that something happened, raised his hand to go and use the bathroom and the sensei wasnt exactly paying attention so he just let him go
thank god he has long legs bc he was able to reach the bathroom quick and he stifled a shriek when he saw your passed out form inside
‘M/N-CHAN!’
he yelled and he cursed when duh you were alone and who knows how long youve been there
and ew bathroom floors is bleh
you were in no way light but you werent exactly heavy either so he was able to muster up all his strength and hoisted you on his back
tooru’s heart thrummed in his chest and he knew it couldnt be that serious but he cant help but think of the worst
and yep
the nurse just told him that your heartbeat was okay and you were snoring so you mustve been exhausted by the dark circles in your eyes
‘keep an eye on him for me. i have to tend to midoriya over there. the kid broke his arm again and i dont know how’
she grumbled at the end but tooru didnt care as he sat on the chair next to your bed
he sighed before laying his head on the cot by your hand
his eyes settled on your face and how peaceful it looked
gosh, you really were so cute
your personality just sucked ass
constantly telling him to shut up and calling him idiot
hmph
not long after oikawa fell asleep, you woke up and cursed, immediately realizing you fainted and you missed class
as you were going to rub your eye, there was weight on your hand and you looked down to see a head full of brown hair that could only belong to a certain someone
a certain idiot
‘oi. oikawa, wake up’
you shook his head and when he didnt budge, you just pulled your hand from under him making him jump awake
at first, he was confused
looking around like a lost puppy and his eyes bleary
yea it was cute and what about it
then he noticed you sitting up and he smiled
‘you feeling better, m/n-chan?’
he asked, leaning close 
but you placed your hand on his face to push him away
‘yea. and stop leaning so close, idiot’
you grumbled and he whined
‘youre so mean, m/n-chan! i was so worried about you!’
he complained and you rolled your eyes
‘i didnt ask you to be, idiot’
SLDKFJSDLKFJKL M/N IS SO MEAN WHAT THE FAK
oikawa frowned
‘i cant help it. i like you, m/n-chan’
you froze, looking at him with scrunched eyebrows
then you chuckled dryly
‘yea, okay sure. im okay now so you can go to class’
wOW OIKAWA DESERVES BETTER WHAT
tooru was taken aback
‘wh-what? thats it? after i just told you that i liked you?’
you blinked at him
‘what do you want me to say about that, oikawa? how do you want me to react? im not like your fangirls, squealing and shit’
your words cut deep in him and oikawa held your arm
‘no wait a minute. what do you mean by that? do you not believe me?’
‘who the hell believes something that’s fake?’
there was a snip in your tone and oikawa knew you were talking about this facade of his
‘what? i-’
‘you think i believe you? you telling me you like me? do you even know who you are?’
you asked and tooru sniffled, eyes staring at your chest
‘for years, you told people what you wanted them to hear, regardless if you meant them or not. not once have you ever told them no. who the hell accepts chocolates when they dont even like them to begin with?’
at that last part, oikawa snapped up to meet your eyes
‘how did you know’
you rolled your eyes
‘our brothers are friends, idiot. he gave him some of the chocolates you gave to takeru since the brat couldnt eat them all’
oddly, that brought some warmth in tooru’s chest
so he wasnt the only one who knows the stupid stuff
but you continued on your rant
‘for a guy who doesnt like sweet stuff, youve accepted their nasty treats all the time, like why? oh, wait i know why, because you want them to like you. it doesnt matter if-if this-this persona of yours isnt real because as long as they like you, you dont give a fuck. isn’t that true? am i right? because please, prove me wrong’
maybe your dislike for him came out at that tangent and you half expected him to cry but you were surprised when he glared at you with teary eyes
‘i will. ill prove you wrong, m/n, that i do like you and i will make you like me. ill make you like me with the real me. i swear.’
‘mhm. okay. sure, oikawa’
do you regret it?
i mean,,,
kinda?
but not really?
because you loved watching the girls faces fall when oikawa rejected their treats the next day
you were walking to class when you noticed him with his cult by the entrance and you saw him smiling at some girl before gently pushing away a can of cookies
‘gomen. i actually dont like sweets that much anymore. if you want, you can give me milk bread?’
you stopped and oikawa caught your eye and he grinned
you nodded in greeting before continuing to walk
but he noticed a small smile on your face and gosh oikawa sighed like a lovesick fool
it took iwaizumi to finally send him back and his fangirls were looking at him worriedly
‘could you be less obvious, shittykawa?’
rip iwaizumi hajime in episode 546546546 of daily adventures of oikawa tooru
you noticed that oikawa has started to become distant with his fangirls and hes been sticking to you during lunch, leaving behind the others
makki and mattsun looked like proud parents as they peered down over to you flicking oikawa’s forehead and they smiled
‘god, that kid deserves this’
‘hah? that sounds like more of a punishment to me. but i dont care. it takes him off our hands for a while’
IWA I SWEAR HES SO MEAN BUT HE STILL WUVS TOORU SO ITS OKAY
oikawa would pick your brother up and take him home when youre too busy to go get him yourself and sometimes, he even takes your little sister too which causes them to have a mini sleepover and you sleep there too
also, whenever youre working in the convenience store, tooru would buy sandwhiches and a drink just for you so you can eat them while youre on break and not have to waste money and you told himyou dont want him spending money on you but he doesnt wanna hear it
‘i dont want you buying me-’
‘ssshhhh dont. im doing this because i want to and becaus i care for you, m/n-chan’
overtime, 
yea
sure
youve started to like him
youve started looking forward to seeing his stupidly cute face and his stupidly cute giggle
you went to his games and gave him a tight hug when hes about to play as a ritual for good luck and you would open your arms for him wide whenever he wins
then he didnt
against shiratorizawa, you noticed how he was so disappointed
even as you walked home with him, he continued to smile and tell you how good his team played
until you couldnt take it anymore
you pulled him over to some alleyway and you pushed him to the wall
DSKLFJLSDKFJLSDFJ WOW WHAT
oikawa nervously fiddled with his jacket and gave you a shaky smile
‘m/n-chan, what are you-’
‘tell me what youre feeling right here, right now. no bullshit, no lies, tell me everything in that pretty head of yours’
you deadpanned and tooru looked away
‘im fine’
‘are you lying to me, tooru?’
your voice was even but he could tell you were serious
he gulped before taking in a shakey breath
‘im fine. so stop asking about it!’
he exclaimed and you sighed
‘listen, i know its not official yet but you want me to be your boyfriend right?’
tooru flinched before he flushed at the word ‘boyfriend’ 
then he nodded
‘as your boyfriend, you have to lean on me, tooru. i dont want you to hold it to yourself because i wanna be there for you and i want to go through everything with you because i,,,,,’
you stopped and hesitated, debating if you should say it or not
‘because i like you, idiot’
you confessed and swallowed thickly
oikawa met your eye and his eyes watered
‘im so angry! im so disappointed! but i know my team did their 110 percent! we’re just not strong enough! so its not their fault! but ushijima is such a freak and hes too strong and its not fair!’
he complained and he cried loudly
not once in the 3 years of knowing oikawa have you seen him cry and you were so proud of him for being able to trust you enough to show him being vulnerable
you rushed forward held him close to your chest
‘for what it’s worth, you looked so incredibly hot and cute playing’
you whispered and pecked his neck 
of course oikawa couldnt hold his surprise at the feeling of your lips on his neck so he squealed a little
you gigled and continued holding your boyfriend close, even if it was at some nasty alleyway
yall became official and ngl, they didnt see this coming
some nobody dating the grand king oikawa tooru?
what in the wattpad?
yall know that tiktok of like ‘guys you cant dm me anymore. i have a girlfriend now. what else? and i love her’
IF YALL DONT KNOW IM SORRY
but you totally made oikawa tell his fangirls that
YOU KNOW THE FUNNY THING?
when yall became official, you actually gained your own little fanclub
maybe its because you gained clout from your boyfriend but they started noticing you and wowza you were hot
before, it was you getting jealous over tooru but now, it was him getting possessive of you
hes such a brat that he sits on your lap before class and youre just all smirking and feeling all good bc your baby is so cute when hes jealous
YOU CANT DISAGREE THAT HE DOESNT RADIATE UKE ENERGY
but all oiks has to do is pull down your collar and expose your purple littered collarbones and they will know who you belong to
theres a reason why iwa-chan is now the kids babysitter
youre still kinda cold and distant to people but youre soft for your baby and you always hold him close when hes in sight and you just cant get enough of him
:’)
also!! 
your sister loves dressing you up and oikawa has his sisters makeup and they both do your makeup and you guys have tea party with the boys and just the cutest domestic stuff
you still call him idiot though
but like affectionately yanno?
and over the years youve turned it down to dummy
and ngl tooru loves it when you call him that
what in the dumbification-
because he knows that equivalent to babe from you and he absolutely just loves you lmao
youre def the more quieter and calmer one in the relationship like you absolutely dont react much
while tooru is the overreactor and hes very animated with his facial expressions and stuff
like the one time
he was cooking some chicken pasta and you cheekily grabbed a piece of chicken and he made a dramatic gasp
‘*le gasp* oikawa m/n how dare steal a piece of chicken!’
you cackled before crossing your arms at the sight ofyour lover with his pursed lips and hands on his hips
‘excuse you. its more of you who’d take my last name’
it was so easy to make him flustered and tooru quickly turned around to tend back to the food but he was really just hiding his red face
‘b-baka. thats not going to happen’
‘not if i do it first’
you shrugged and smirked, wondering if he will fall for it
and as expected with oikawa tooru
‘yea okay sure’
‘i will!’
‘prove me wrong, m/n-chan~’
‘turn around right now’
oikawa rolled his eyes playfully before turning with a smile
‘what are you-*le gasp part 2*’
his hands covered his mouth at the sight of you there in front of him, kneeling on your knee tightly clutching a silver ring between your thumb and index finger
your heart was thrumming in your chest but you gulped and smiled
‘i win. now marry me, dummy’
oikawa screamed
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a/n: sorry if this sucked booty :((( but i just really like the thought of uke oikawa and just him with a cute boyfriend for a change like please we all know oikawa is a bi king and thats on docosahexaenoic acid
125 notes · View notes
tothemeadow · 4 years ago
Text
HHGGOoOoo MAYbe (im aware its a little late to ask) KYouJuRou day 6?? all? of them? all the prompts. im very intrigued to see what you would make with him! and could it be MAybe an AFAB reader but gender neutral? if thats possible!
Day 6: angry/hate sex / hair pulling / biting
warnings: NSFW, semi-public sex, possessive behavior, slight degradation
words: 1,417
(a/n): art is not mine, (I’m sorry if this didn’t turn out the way you wanted! I already had it written and I reread the request and I think I may have messed up ;-;)
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When it comes to Kyojuro, trust is key.
Don’t doubt for a second that he doesn’t trust you; if he didn’t, you wouldn’t be wearing that band around your ring finger. It’s just that, well, he doesn’t trust others. More specifically, he doesn’t trust others around you.
And, as the crowd of strangers dance in front of him, the strobing lights reflecting off their sweaty faces, his unease is at its greatest. The two of you agreed to tag along to a nightclub with your fellow coworkers; schoolwork has been rather trying lately, and all of you need a break even if it’s just for one night. The bass of the speakers thump loudly, shake the entire building with its blasting music. Kyojuro has to keep a firm grip on his bottle if he doesn’t want it to fall off the table.
Around him, some of his closest friends and coworkers chatter and throw back their own drinks. Tengen’s laughing at something Obanai said, his entire face scrunched up. Sanemi seems to be lecturing Gyomei and Giyuu about something (Kyojuro just hopes it isn’t about some complex formula). Then there’s Kanae, Tamayo, Obanai’s girlfriend Mitsuri, and you. You’re giggling along to whatever your group is discussing. Kyojuro’s face melts into a fond smile when you catch his eye.
“Oi,” Tengen says, his snapping fingers appearing in front of Kyojuro’s face. “Over here, Romeo. We’re here to have fun.”
“And by fun, you mean black out drunk,” Obanai utters. Even so, he takes a swig of his own beer. “Remind me why I drink this shit.”
“Obanai!” Mitsuri calls out. She appears by her boyfriend’s side, a bright smile on her face. “We girls are going dancing. Do any of you guys want to join?”
Obanai physically stiffens at the proposal. “Hell no.”
“Aw,” Mitsuri says with a pout, “Sanemi’s going! If he can do it, you can too.”
Kyojuro listens in on the conversation with interest as he continues to chug at his own drink. The music changes to something bass heavy and fast – something sexy. He can see the sea of people swaying as one, partners finding each other in the crowd and grinding against one another. Immediately his eyes find you in the crowd; you’re swaying along to the music, your hips moving fluidly. His mouth waters at the little black dress you chose to wear, your legs looking longer than usual and your cleavage pushing out of the top. Your body is calling, and he’ll damned if he doesn’t answer.
A patch of white hair catches his attention, though. Sanemi slithers through the crowd, his hands landing on your shoulders. Turning to him, you two share a short conversation before you’re turning away again, although there’s a mischievous smile playing on your lips. Kyojuro’s throat turns dry as he watches Sanemi glide his hands down to your hips; he certainly doesn’t miss the way Sanemi hangs onto you in a possessive hold. The muscle in Kyojuro’s jaw ticks.
Swiftly, he takes another drink of his beer, reminding himself that you would never dream of cheating on him – especially not with a guy like Sanemi. Still, he can’t help the jealousy that makes his blood boil. It should be him out there, his hands on your hips. He nearly chokes on his beer when he watches Sanemi guide your hips back into his. Throwing your head back, you press your breasts upwards, and your arms slink back to entangle your fingers in Sanemi’s hair.
“Holy shit,” Tengen breathes. Kyojuro’s eyes snap to his friend. Tengen’s eyes are glued to you and Sanemi, though, and a wicked smirk is playing on his face. He looks way too amused for Kyojuro’s taste.
Mitsuri gasps at the scene before her. Her eyes flicker between Kyojuro and you, her hands covering her mouth. Obanai simply looks unimpressed.
“Damn, Kyojuro,” Tengen drawls as he lazily takes a sip of his drink, “does your spouse move like that in the bedroom?”
That’s it.
Slamming his bottle onto the table, he swiftly shoots up from his chair. Tengen’s cackling like a wild man as Kyojuro breaks through the crowd, shouldering his way between sweaty bodies and groping hands. Sanemi’s face is buried in the crook of your neck as he finally nears you two. Reaching out, he rips you from Sanemi’s grasp; you let out a startled shriek as you collide into his solid chest.
“Don’t you think that’s a little much, Sanemi?” Kyojuro growls. You can feel it rumble through his chest.
“No hard feelings, man,” Sanemi says, raising his hands in surrender. Kyojuro narrows his eyes at him. “Besides, I know better than to piss you off. I don’t feel like getting my ass handed to me again,” he says, muttering the last part. He cocks an eyebrow. “We’re just having fun. Right, (y/n)?”
“Y-yeah,” you sputter. You yelp as his large hand wraps around your wrist in an iron grip.
He tugs you away from Sanemi, away from the crowd. You’re left rambling apologizes as he leads you down the dimly lit hallways of the club. Shoving the door open to the bathroom, he quickly scans the surrounding area – empty. Perfect.
Pushing you forward, he slams the door shut and slides the bolt into place. Turning on his heel, he looks to you, a dark gleam in his eyes. “What was that,” he growls. It’s not a question – it’s a demand. You’re smart enough not to talk back.
“I just wanted to dance,” you tell him, your voice small.
Stepping forward, Kyojuro shoves you against a wall. His hand grasps onto your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “And you had to settle for Sanemi, huh?” He clicks his tongue in annoyance. “I don’t like that, babe.”
“I’m sorry-“
Fingers entangling in your hair, he yanks your head back, exposing the slope of your neck and the swell of your breasts. “Cockslut,” he grunts. You cry out as he surges in, his teeth sinking into the tender skin. You clutch onto his shoulders, fingers desperately clawing at the fabric of his shirt. With a growl, he shoves a thick thigh between your legs, pressing up against your pussy. “You’re not happy unless all attention’s on you, huh? I bet you were just glowing knowing that I was watching Sanemi basically dry hump you. Filthy thing.”
He rocks you against his muscular thigh, ignoring your desperate pleas. He bites you over and over, leaving imprints and bruises nearly everywhere. With a grunt, his hangs grasp onto your thighs, hiking you up around his hips. Your back rubs against the wall, dragging against the dingy tile. In quick movements, his pants are unzipped, cock springing out, and your panties are shoved to the side.
A loud groan echoes throughout the room as he stuffs his cock inside your pussy. He fucks into you at a fast, relentless pace, his hands yanking you down to meet him thrust for thrust. He holds your head back by your hair, both his lips and his teeth trailing the pounding vein.
“You’re mine, you got it?” he growls. “Everybody in this damn club is going to know who you belong to.”
“Yes, Kyojuro, yes!”
His thumb drops down between you two and seeks out your clit. A sharp cry emits from your throat as he rubs tight little circles into your sensitive nub. You keen, your back arching into him. Your velvety walls suck in his cock with each stroke; the swollen head beats against your cervix, bringing the most sinful moans from the depths of your chest.
“You wanna cum, babe?” Kyojuro snaps. “Say you’re sorry.”
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please, I wanna cum so bad-“
A few more brutal thrusts send you over the edge; your entire body trembles as your orgasm washes over you. You cry out Kyojuro’s name, your walls clenching down on him even tighter. A throaty groan erupts from his throat as his thrusts turn sloppy, the wet noises of your sexes driving him absolutely insane.
“Fuck, babe, you’re so tight.”
An animalistic growl sounds in your ear and then Kyojuro’s cumming; thick, hot spurts of cum fill your insides, his cock driving it deeper in your cunt. A chorus of moans echo in the bathroom, but neither of you care.
Outside the bathroom door, Tengen snickers. He sends Sanemi a cocky grin and a thumbs-up. “Good work, dude! Kyojuro the Pussy Pounder is back in action!”
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ickle-ronniekins · 4 years ago
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duet | see you soon then
DUET MASTERLIST
NOTE FOR ALL READERS: this is an installment of a series. the masterlist for a catch-up is linked above. this particular chapter is to fall between [im]mature and silky smooth. thanks!
desc: things had been a bit rocky when the twins told you they were leaving hogwarts before graduation. you’d been so hellbent and obsessed on spending time with george that you’d sort of neglected fred. emotions are running high, but the three of you fall into a comfortable routine and suddenly you’re bursting at the seams with happiness. but since it’s finally time for them to leave, you have absolutely no luck in trying to suppress your tears. they’re making their dreams come true, so why is it so damn hard to say goodbye right now?
a/n: yo! sorry its been a while. school has been kicking my ass and also I genuinely had no inspiration to write this chapter. it was actually supposed to look a little different which is what I think was evidently holding me back. but leeann’s the best and has been incredibly patient with me as I worked through my writer’s block and we bounced ideas off of one another. i..... am so sorry for this. full masterlist is linked above, loves.
word count: 3.4k
warning(s): just sadness bc boys are leaving :(
Things had been… tense, to say the least. Your arguments with both of your best mates had caused quite a bit of discomfort between you all. And not to mention that the Easter holidays were rapidly approaching, which only seemed to speed up the pounding in your chest.
You’d been making progress, though, coming around to the idea of finishing school without them. What an incredible opportunity this was for them, wasn’t it? While your feelings of dread and sadness were still very much prominent, you couldn’t help but be bursting at the seams with pride, too.
They were damn brilliant individuals and it was about time more people recognized that, right?
It still didn’t lessen the pain in your heart, though. It only seemed to elevate it. But you supposed, you’d only learn to grow from it.
The three of you had fallen into a somewhat comfortable routine. Spending lots of time with one another -- you’d also been very conscious about how much time you spent chasing after George. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself any further than you already had. Plus, you’d sadly forgotten how lovely it was to be with just Fred -- he was your absolute best mate, after all, and while yes, there had been times when the two of you had very angrily bumped heads, it only made your friendship that much stronger. You owed it to him. You owed it to yourself.
And you’d taken to spending more time with the Gryffindors too, when that ghastly toad look-a-like of a woman wasn’t around. What she didn’t know wouldn’t kill her. They were your friends, too, after all -- Ginny, Ron, Harry, Hermione, Neville -- the lot of them. And by the light of the common room fire reflecting in Fred’s eyes, and the very bright grin George had painted onto his face nearly every evening, you were pretty certain they were genuinely happy to have you there.
“What’s this one?”
“Ah -- an extension of our latest and greatest inventions, Y/N,” Fred beamed, examining his own creation as he twirled it in his fingers, “Wildfire Whizbangs.”
“You mean you’ve created something even bigger than those blasted fireworks you’d let loose in the courtyard a few weeks ago?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you’re about to set the bloody Great Hall on fire -- I’ve got exams coming up, you know.”
George laughed and pulled out yet another wildly vibrant colored whizbang from their trunk. “Can’t make any promises.”
You’d been spending so much time in their common room, in fact, that people had just ended up making you an honorary Gryffindor. You did miss yours, though -- the warmth hues of the yellow lining, the cozy armchairs near the fire with books next to it stacked so high they touched the ceiling, the tiny, potted plants on the windowsill. You were placed in Hufflepuff after all, so it was only normal that you’d miss the coziness of your own spot.
You couldn’t help it, though. You found yourself with your friends until the late hours of the evening, and sometimes you’d ever crash in the girls’ dormitory in Gryffindor tower because it was far too late to even attempt to sneak back down to your own common room, and the boys didn’t want you to risk getting into some type of trouble. Who’d have thought? The Kings of Mischief, worried about you getting into trouble. The irony was wonderfully funny.
You’d even found yourself working less and less on your assignments, just to spend time with them. It was, truthfully, the closest the three of you had been since you’d met. Absolutely nothing could squash your happiness.
Until you realized one evening when you were pulling on your silk pyjamas and thinking about how good things had been, that you had exactly one week left with them. One week. Seven days. Most of which would be spent studying for exams.
Some type of knot shot up into your throat and you found that your eyes had begun to water more so than normal. Sometimes, you couldn’t quite believe the effect this was having on you.
And so you swallowed down your feelings and forced yourself to sleep, hoping that the next day, you wouldn’t think about the limited time you had left with them before they fled school, but only about just how much you enjoyed your time with them.
-- -
“Please don’t cry. If you cry, I’ll cry, and I’m a bloody ugly crier.”
You knew that Fred was doing his best to make you laugh. He always had a particular knack for making you burst out into giggles at the most inappropriate of times. But even so, the mischievous glimmer in his eye and the lopsided grin on his face couldn’t make you laugh. Not this time.
You’d sort of distanced yourself this last week. Not purposefully, mind you, but because there was studying to be done. You had exams, didn’t you? And the boys needed to pack all of their belongings for their adventure into adulthood. It sounded so silly when you thought about it. But it also sent a soul-crushing feeling straight through your body.
You hated crying in front of them. Sure, you were a bit dramatic at times, but you tried your absolute hardest not to break down in front of them if you could help it. But this was different, you reckoned. This was them leaving with a permanence that could not be undone. This was goodbye… for now.
“I -- I’m just --” your voice sounded raspy and weak, like someone was gripping your vocal cords and strangling them. You watched through blurred vision as Fred’s lower lip began to wobble, and he bit down on it to keep you from noticing. But you noticed. Of course you did. How could you not? You knitted your brows together to keep the tears from falling, but your emotions were far too high for anything to work. You searched desperately for the words that were filling up your heart, though were proving very difficult to leave your lips. “I’m.. I’m really…”
And Fred, who found himself sometimes turning to mush around you, let his shoulders collapse as tears welled up in his eyes, too. He couldn’t believe they were really doing this -- really leaving. Hogwarts had been their home away from home for so many years, and you, the second sister he didn’t know he needed.
When he spoke, his voice didn’t have the usual cheeky sound to it, that mischievous tone you grew to know and love so much. It was soft, and tired, and pleading with you to please not be angry. You could hear it in the way that he said, “I know,” before pulling you into his chest. He interwove his fingers in your hair and pressed his lips to your forehead before sucking in a breath. You tugged gently on the drawstring hanging from his sweatshirt. It was hard to stay mad at either of them. You forced your eyes shut and bit down hard on your bottom lip, causing you to suck in another breath due to the pain. You felt your heart snap perfectly in half when you heard his voice shake a bit. “I’m really going to miss you, too.”
That was one of the most intimate moments you’d ever shared with Fred, letting each other cry into one another’s shoulders. The vulnerability hanging in the air between you both was so intense, it almost didn’t seem real. But as quickly as this new side of Fred had appeared, it vanished when he pulled away from you and held onto your shoulders to steady you. He sniffled a bit and tried to nonchalantly wipe away a tear from his eye. “But you’re coming to visit, yeah? First thing after graduation?”
“Of course,” you playfully swatted him with the sleeve of your robe. “Have got to make sure you two don’t find yourselves in any mischief, right?”
Fred threw his head back and laughed. “Great thing about our shop is that mischief is more than welcomed, darling.”
You both continued to laugh through tears, until everything became still and silent between you both. You bit down on your bottom lip again and repeated the address back to him very slowly. “Number 93 Diagon Alley.”
“Number 93 Diagon Alley,” he echoed you. His grin was so large, you began to see traces of that thirteen-year-old boy you’d first met all those long years ago. He was so excited, wasn’t he? You felt a pull at your heart. And you were so excited for them. “I love you, kid. Don’t forget to write, and definitely don’t forget to study. Molly Weasley would be so disappointed.”
He pulled you in for another hug before making his way down the corridor. You folded your arms across your chest and raised an eyebrow. “You? The King of avoiding schoolwork at all costs is actually telling me to study?”
“What can I say?” Fred shrugged his shoulders. Your best mate. Your best mate in the entire world, known for his pranks and laughter and everything in between was pointing a finger at you and telling you to get a jump start on your school work, like he’d done a complete one-eighty. “You just bring out this side of me.”
“I love you, you absolute git.”
“I love you more.”
Your breathing intensified as he vanished down the corridor.
“Wow,” you heard a voice from behind you, “can’t believe you somehow got my brother to tell you to study. What has the world come too?”
When you whirled around to come face to face with George, his face was an exact carbon copy of Fred’s -- but his sparkling eyes and lopsided grin made your insides twist in a way that Fred’s didn’t. All you wanted to do was run up to your dorm and cry, thinking about the entirety of your schooling where you could’ve been wrapped up in his arms if he’d just felt the same way. But that wouldn’t help you in any way. You had to be thankful for what you had.
“It definitely won’t be the same with you two gone.”
You couldn’t help it -- the words escaped you before you could register your own thoughts. You could see George’s expression fill with guilt, something that had been happening more often than not, so you offered him a tremendous grin that split your face in half, despite the tears that were falling generously now. You stuck your hand out to pull him into you. “I hope you know how proud I am of you both.”
He breathed a sigh of relief, took your hand in his and walked toward you. He pulled you into a bone crushing embrace, one you’d definitely feel the effects of a few days from now. He cradled your head in his hand the exact same way Fred did, and also placed a kiss onto your hair, but the way your blood bubbled at his touch was so very different from the way you felt with your best friend.
“I just want to thank you.”
“For what?”
“For.. everything.” George’s voice was raspy. He pulled away from you but didn’t let go. He slid his hands across your shoulders and down your arms before intertwining his fingers with yours. He slowly caressed his thumbs over the tops of your hands as he chose his words carefully. “For being my best friend, for believing in this ridiculous idea, for dealing with my antics. For everything, all of it. I reckon Hogwarts would not have been the same had I not met you in Charms.”
“It was my favorite lesson, you know.”
“Mine, too.”
You forced yourself to continue to smile at him through your tears, because you didn’t want you blubbering like an idiot to be the last thing he’d see before leaving the castle. As if this entire exchange hadn’t been dramatic enough, you were really considering telling him how you felt -- right as he left. You could shout out I love you!, couldn’t you? It would be the perfect time, too, because he’d already be off and you could run up to your dormitory without worrying about having to face him or your own intense feelings! The words were right there, on the tip of your tongue --
“Save a pygmy puff for me, yeah?”
But those were the words that spoke instead.
George raised his eyebrows and held up a finger. “Oh! That reminds me. Have got something for you.” You threaded your eyebrows together in confusion as he reached into his pocket. He very gently pulled out a ribbon, the colour a perfect blend of purple and pink, same as the puffs, with sparkles dancing across it as if it were charmed. Which, knowing George, it probably was. He fiddled with it slightly in his hands before looking up to meet your gaze. “You’ve inspired us. Got a whole line of these things in the works. So I want you to do me a favour.”
Your voice was a whisper. You’d nearly forgotten how to formulate coherent sentences. “What?” you asked him.
He then took a very deep breath and reached out to move your hair. He gently placed the ribbon behind your ears and tied it into a small bow on the top of your head. “When you’re feeling poorly about your exams, or about finishing school, or about anything, because I know you will -- put this on. Think of us. And just remember that we’re only a letter away until graduation, alright?”
As he watched more tears well up in your eyes, he considered telling you the truth: that it had been him this whole time, sending you these letters and gifts. It’d been him since the beginning, he’d just been too afraid to tell you. He wet his lips and watched as you brought your fingers to the ribbon and touched it gently. He was going to do it, it was time. Probably a few years too late, but he couldn’t worry about that now. He was leaving in five bloody minutes, and he had to seize his chance, when the vulnerability was thick and the emotions were high and he wasn’t going to chicken out completely --
But just as he found his confidence, Fred softly called his name from round the bend before disappearing again. You threw your arms around the back of George’s neck and stood on the tips of your toes to hug him. There was no mistaking the sound of your wobbly voice in his ears -- you were crying fully now. “I’m going to miss you.”
If his emotions weren’t sky high, he would’ve noticed just how easily the tears came to the front of his eyes at your simple, five word phrase.
“I’m going to miss you, too.”
He wished it could be yesterday, or the day before. Or last month. Or last year. He wanted to be back in Charms in your third year. He wished he could go back in time, any amount of time, just to have more with you, because this couldn’t possibly be the end. It couldn’t be.
Through sniffles and sobs and the cracks in your voice, he swore he heard you say, “I love you.”
Fire shot through his veins, but bloody hell, he didn’t have time to unload all of that. Fred was calling his name again. “I love you, too.”
George pressed his lips to your hairline and stayed there like that for a few more seconds you wished could last a lifetime. You didn’t even bother trying to hide your tears anymore -- they were cascading down your cheeks, and violent sobs were involuntarily escaping from your overused lungs. Every single ounce of your body hurt due to all of the crying you’d been doing the last couple of days. It felt so stupid and so dramatic and so absolutely awful, because the truth was, it was only a couple of months until you saw them again. Until you saw him again. A few months was nothing.
But the idea of being here without them hurt more than you could begin to fathom.
When he pulled away, you noticed how red and blotchy his cheeks were alongside his bloodshot eyes, his messy hair. But you beamed at him again and squeezed his hand and said, “Congratulations,” and watched him as his fingers let go of yours and he walked toward the other end of the corridor.
“Hey,” you called, thinking of something. George spun around quickly and peered longingly at you. You just needed a few more seconds or so. “How’re you two getting out of here, anyway? You know Umbridge has all the entrances sealed. You think it’s going to work, whatever you two’ve got planned?” There was a sliver of selfishness that hoped it didn’t, but you suppressed it. You were overflowing with pride for your best friends.
And then there he was -- that young boy filled with adventure and reckless abandon, looking at you as if only seeing you for the very first time. His grin deepened when he replied, “Don’t worry -- it’s in typical Weasley fashion.” He stopped in his tracks and placed his hands in his pockets, and peered at you with a type of intense sincerity that made every muscle in your body ache all over again. “I’ll see you soon, then?”
Your lip quivered again. “Yeah,” you replied, willing yourself to believe it. You would. “I’ll see you soon, then.”
You shook your head at him and watched as he disappeared around the bend, but not before that signature wink he loved to offer.
About thirty minutes later, after you’d had a good cry and rinsed the runny mascara off of your cheeks and from underneath your eyes, you heard a bit of yelling from inside the castle. You were sitting in the courtyard basking in the glorious spring weather, forcing yourself to focus on what you needed to study, when a group of students began to huddle near the windows.
Confused, you shut your spellbook and wandered over to where they were gathered, wondering what the bloody hell could be going on inside. Weren’t the fifth years supposed to be taking their OWLs?
And then two red headed figures zoomed out of the castle on their broomsticks, followed by a firework dragon the size of the real dragon Harry had fought just last year, with more sparklers and pyrotechnics behind them brightening up the sky. Students flooded into the courtyard and cheers were nearly shaking the whole entire structure of the castle. You looked around at all of the students, beaming with exuberance, and wondered just how many of the Wildfire Whizbangs had gotten caught in Umbridge’s hair, setting it aflame. You smiled to yourself and began to clap, too.
For as blue as you felt, you were ten times happier for them.
George and Fred were now hovering in the air beneath a very large firework in the shape of a ‘W’. Fred was busy cheering along with the crowd, clearly pleased with the feedback from all of the students -- and even some teachers. Was that Flitwick he spotted below? Had he made his Charms teacher proud?
But George wasn’t cheering -- he was focused. Focused on scanning the crowd, focused on bouncing his eyes from student to student until he found the familiar one he was looking for.
“You alright, Georgie?” Fred called over the roar of the dragon, now swimming through the clouds.
“Yeah,” George replied, though he didn’t fully believe it -- not until he saw you, in the middle of a sea of Ravenclaws, peering up at the two of them with nothing but admiration plastered onto your face. George breathed another sigh of relief and didn’t take his eyes off of you. He couldn’t. “Yeah, I’m alright.”
“To new adventures!” Fred cheered and raised his hands in delight. More students began to scream and cheer and wave to them from the grounds. He proceeded to do a backflip on his broomstick in the air.
When your eyes met his from below, he watched as your smile slowly grew a bit larger and your clapping became more exuberant. He could already count down the bloody days until you were finished with school and walking through the front doors of their shop, a grin on your face so large it could cure diseases! But for now, you had to study, and he had a business to run.
He turned toward his brother, who had never looked more excited or proud in all his years. George stuck out his hand for a high-five as he wobbled slightly on his broom. To Fred, George replied, “To new adventures, mate.”
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kotalefanzu · 4 years ago
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Pitch Pearl  ATUS AU- Part 3
ahahaha. i finally came back to wite the finale. WOOOO. im still sorry about waiting so long oof.
where we last left off, danny had a dream about phantom, in which he tells him about the creation of the natural portals. he leaves danny, saying that he’ll come running back soon enough. when he wakes up, jazz tells him that sam and tucker have gone missing.
danny takes a second to process that information along with the dream and his brain just shuts down. he goes on autopilot, acting like he didn’t hear a word she just said. jazz tries to snap him out of it to get some sort of reaction but when she actually looks him in the eyes, filled with exhaustion, fear, and helplessness, she realizes that he doesn’t need any more things to worry about and goes to tell their parents not to bother him. 
when she leaves, he blankly goes through the motions as he normally would. just like before this all happened. he checks his phone with slight hope that they may have tried to contact him, but after realizing he spent ten minutes just staring at it, he puts it away and doesn’t check it again. the walk to school is nothing but a stream of consciousness and he doesn’t even really feel awake anymore. everyone is just a blur while his brain refuses to process anything around him. 
he gets to class, looks at his friends’ desks, and notices two cleanly carved DP symbols on them. it makes him start giggling a little, then laughing loudly, before he sinks to the ground crying out of frustration and overload.
a town meeting is called in the middle of school. the missing children line up with the new influx of ghost sightings and they want to check to see if any more kids have gone missing. someone points out the danny got taken last and the two missing children were his friends. others bring up the lunchroom incident and start pestering him with questions, seeking answers. danny waits for his family to quiet everything down before explaining everything from his first day in captivity all the way to last night’s dream. many people want to push the blame onto danny for painting a target on their heads and force him to deal with it on his own while others want to use danny as a bargaining tool to save their lives.
the fentons reject every suggestion and say that the most important thing here to do if to protect the children and find a way to defeat the ghosts now that blocking their way into the human realm is no longer an option. they explain that giving danny up might be a trap if phantom was able to kidnap sam and tucker but didn’t head straight for danny. he is told to safe and not try anything.
the GIW are called in to work on locating one of the portals and storming the ghost zone to rescue the missing children. danny is desperate to help and spends most of his time reliving unwanted memories just to give any form of information that might be helpful. after a while they send him away to try getting back to normal life as he needs a form of distraction. 
at lunch, he is cornered by the other teens who ask if he is really just going to sit there and do nothing. danny is hesitant to lead more children into the ghost zone where they could be hurt, but they are determined and at this point, he is willing to risk it. after stealing a bunch of weapons from his parent's old weaponry vault, he finds a natural portal and opens it. they get sucked into it and arrive in the courtyards of phantom’s keep.
the ectoplasm flooding his system is mildly overwhelming but he pushes through it and begins guiding everyone to the dungeons where they would probably be kept. he notices while navigating that strangely everything is the same as it ws before he left, from to the decor to the guard rotations. when they reach the dungeons, sam and tucker aren’t there. it confuses him. he tries to think about where else phantom could have put them and a small voice whispers, ‘check your old wing’. its actually easier to sneak back to his old wing due to all the times he has snuck in and out of it. while the rest of the group aren’t so used to the routes, following him makes it a lot easier. waiting in the common room of the wing are sam and tucker, posed like lifeless dolls and dressed in clothing uncomfortably similar to what danny once wore, though less extravagant. their skin is pale and lifeless and their eyes are glowing
perched on their heads are silvery circlets. danny motions for the rest of the group to stand behind him. sam and tucker slowly turn to look at them and another battle breaks out.
its obvious from how they are fighting that while they wont strike to kill danny, they dont care about sparing the rest. the group slowly works out a system of one half distracting sam while the other go to hold down tucker and remove the circlet. as soon as it comes off, the glow from his eyes fades and he stills like they pushed his power button. with one less person constantly firing at them, its a lot easier to do the same for sam as she can’t fight them all off. dash and kwan take up carrying the limp, unconscious people and they make off with their battle spoils to the portal. 
danny reopens the portal and makes sure everyone gets through, doing a headcount. when he is sure everyone is accounted for and out of the ghost zone. he thanks them and seals it, locking them in the human realm with him on the other side.  
it takes a while for the group to finally tell someone what happened and they start fearing how to explain to the two dead to the world people who still haven’t woken up yet. they finally fess up when jazz drives by and asks where danny is. they silently just show her sam and tucker and watch the emotions flicker rapidly on he face. in the end she settles on heartache and gives a weak smile, telling them that she’s glad they are back but wishes they could have brought her brother back as well. she is more forgiving when they explain that it was his decision and they didnt have time to stop him before it was too late.
back in the ghost zone, danny stares blankly at the sealed portal, wondering if he should just step through now before its too late. just as he reaches out his hand, he gets pulled in a tight embrace as phantom laughs in his ear. 
“What did I tell you, Starlight. You would come running back into my arms soon enough. Let’s go back home. You’ll find I didn’t change anything when you left. We can go right back to how it used to be before. Like you never ran away from me.”
he stays huddled up in his room for most of the time, only coming out when phantom wants him to accompany him on an errand or when he has to attend meetings with phantom. the faces are familiar. he made a few friends during his captivity and while the circumstances are grim, its pleasant to see them again. 
for starters, clockwork was a common face when danny began getting incredibly homesick. phantom had requested danny be allowed to view the present of his ‘loved ones’ lives and he had spent every moment he could watching them throughout the day and making sure they were fine. clockwork also had hilariously awful puns, though they werent allowed to actually say them anymore after phantom got jealous and forbade them from speaking to danny. danny still carried the one-sided conversations and it seemed to cheer clockwork up from the decree. princess dora, now queen dora, was also a good friend of his, often discussing with him the pain of living with overbearing nobility. she had done a double-take when he approached her and sat him down to calmly ask what happened, though he could see the tension laced through her. after recounting she took a long sip of her tea and looked him in the eyes. she told a seemly random story of her exploring her kingdom and hearing a bard singing about how the mighty dragon princess stole the dragon king’s crown and the mighty dragon queen took her dear brother down. the piercing look in her eyes before she moved to a new topic told him more than enough.
the few moments of reprieve they offered was not enough to outdo the lappet treatment of phantom that allowed for no rejection, but it was something and it was all he could ask for.
sam and tucker wake up finally after being in a coma for two days. after scanning the room filled with their classmates, parents, and the fenton family, they quickly realize the only one not there that should be is danny. sam is the first one to speak, immediately yelling at them for trading them for danny and going off about how they need to go back for him as soon as possible. dash defends them by telling her that its not their fault danny closed the portal before any one of them could drag his skinny self sacrificing ass through it. they cant reopen it without him.
sam quiets down after that and tucker takes out asking all the questions he can think of to find a way to fix this. there has to be a way to reopen the portal.
(a cut back scene to danny interacting with phantom. im not good with writing abuse mixed with love very well so go ahead and use your imaginations okay uwu)
sam and tucker also end up secluding themselves and working nonstop on trying to figure out how to save danny. jazz stops by every day to check on them and pass on homework and anything she hears about the ghosts to them. while they start cleaning up the room to take a break and finish schoolwork, sam trips on a piece of paper and is about to fall. only she is caught in mid-air and surrounded by a neon lime green aura, one similar to danny’s though his is a bluish mint. the aura dissipates and she hits the ground with a soft thud but everything stops as tucker and her look at each other in shock. 
“That was you!”
“That was me!”
homework gets pushed aside again for experimentation and documenting. they might be able to reopen the portal after all.
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amjustagirl · 3 years ago
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hello nikki jie omg hOW ARE YOU! i feel like its been damn long since ive come to talk to you 😭 been trying to get ahead on schoolwork (since i didnt have much going on last week) but now its like im doing work due next week but when i get stuck nobody can help cuz my friends all havent do yet T^T BAHAHA but okay i think im keeping up pretty okay with uni so far ?? so hopefully after i clear my last midterm this sat ill be able to go for more kendo sessions yay
i see that mr nikki is making you watch squid game with him HAHAHHAH OHNO omg ive heard its really good but i also like cannot stand the horror and gore HAHA i usually watch kdramas with my mum and she suggested this but like we both scared BAHAHAH meanwhile my sis who doesnt even watch kdrama watched it in dub alr LOL i never watched hunger games but i feel like they have the same vibes?? (idk i havent actually watched either HAHAHA) oh but the cast looks really good tho 👀
i just read when the sun loves the moon ch 4 and now im :((( "im breaking up with you for your own good" is such a classic but sometimes it feels super cringey cuz like they didnt even have to break up?? but you did it so well here and bokuto usually not caring about the death threats but choosing to dump reader cuz now theyre being targeted at her too im 💔 and now all the imagery about the moon is here cuz the angst is here asdgjskfjs sobsob but the msby boys being soso sweet hinata sakusa and atsumu coming to give her coffee and meian seeing right through her idk im a sucker for all these platonic interactions?? i also absolutely loved seeing ichika and kaiyo here askfjs pls tHE RAGE ROOM OMG WOW it sounds damn fuN does sg have one of those??? askdkf but yes i love them and im glad theyre here to accompany reader ;-; that last line "distract you from the anger that’s still simmering dangerously in your chest" asfjsk i feel like reader is about to do something and idk how to feel about it😧🤧
omg and i just remembered your last reply about mr nikki smacking your face BAHAHAHAH OHNO then ok he totally deserved to be woken up after your nightmare he should consider himself lucky you didnt smack him awake too 💀 anyways hope the rest week goes well for you nikki jie!! and have fun (??) with squid game HAHA 💗 ~ ann:>
that's rly good! yknow i somehow suspect you go to my alma mater also, cos of the kendo club references hmmm ;o but yeah jiayou w midterms and sch work! i'm glad you're just steadily pegging away at work, dont stress yourself out, it's not worth it! squid game is so scary and it's much much gorier than hunger games, but way better written! i do enjoy it v v much, and the cast is AMAZING.
whoops - chapter 5 is just out!
but yeah he really didn't care abt the threats when it was directed at him, but the minute he thought the reader was in trouble, he just hit the panic button and wanted to try his best to make sure she's ok. he loves her, he really really does - and the msby boys and kaiyo rly stepped up to make sure she's okay! singapore DOES have a rage room! go check it out hehe.
yeah mr. nikki smacked me in the face when we were much younger and he was so stressed out abt work?? i was v concerned abt his mental health then so i kinda gently shook him awake and patted him back to sleep, and when i complained to my own ma she took his side too i was like!?!?!?!?
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mrfutureboy · 3 years ago
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I would like to know when you started drawing and where your passion for fanart started 😊
Oh FUCK dude i did not see this i’m so fucking sorry this is so late 😭 damn you, tumblr, for not fucking notifying me!! Anyway buckle up this is gonna be much longer than you asked for <3
Honestly ive kinda been drawing all my life! I hope that doesnt sound dumb cuz obviously almost everyone drew pictures when they were kids, but i know that it’s been a consistent hobby for me since i was little. By the time i was in 3rd grade I was hoarding notebooks to draw in. Cuz that’s something fun about me: i had a real huge habit of drawing in things that werent sketchbooks. Through middle school and beyond I did buy/receive sketchbooks, but I started out with various kinds of notebooks. One I had from like 2nd grade was like a hardcover, stationary-type notebook that I drew cats in lol, and I have 2 velvet lisa frank notebooks from 3rd grade. In high school and college I had a really bad habit of drawing in the margins on my notes and on handouts the teacher/professor would give. Those classes where the prof just prints out all the notes beforehand and gives them to you to follow along? Oh man, I spent so many classes barely listening while I drew on them! I also used to draw on my physics homework and tests and sometimes I even got extra credit for them (thank you jeff :D). I actually have a folder of various drawings I’ve kept from that 8yr time period and a lot of them are on classwork 😂
Obviously, I’ve been doing a lot of digital art lately, which I’m sure is what u were more curious about rather than the shit about drawing on my homework. I got a surface pro as a graduation gift in 2016 bc prior to that i had a wacom tablet and a janky ass laptop, so the gift was kinda a 2-in-1: i can do schoolwork AND art easily! i like digital art a lot and honestly im still learning new things abt it every time i draw. I use Leonardo currently (i’ll skip that story) but I started out doing digital art on sketchfu WITHOUT the wacom tablet in maaaaybe 2012??? 2011??? does anyone on this site remember sketchfu? Honestly couldnt even tell u how i found that site hahah the internet was just full of wonders back in the day. RIP sketchfu. Once i got the tablet tho some time later i used sketchfu still (i think) but also gimp and krita i believe.
Oh i suppose I should mention that i took art all four years of highschool and also minored in it in college! So it’s something i did academically as well as for fun. I keep thinking about going to art school for realsies but idk. I’m already $$$ in debt from my first degree i dont feel like adding to that 😅😓
Ok now for the second part of your question: I’ve also pretty much always done fan art! Ive never really been one for OC’s, EXCEPT for the self-insert superhero double life “comics” i wrote about a poodle named Sassy when i was in third grade. And then the knock off “comics” i wrote at a later time which honestly it was weird that i did a knock off of my own thing rather than just adding them to the original or making it a spin off with at least one of the og characters. Cuz it wasnt a spin off!! But anyway there wasnt really much to any of these characters; i just needed vessels to get my weird ideas out.
So anyway yeah most of what ive ever drawn has been fan art or self portraits, because its just easier for me to take characters that already exist and bend them to my will (artistically). Well excluding art assignments in school i guess because i would usually have to draw something specific and therefore not something self indulgent. But yeah ive drawn for lots of fandoms like the earliest i remember is warrior cats. Then theres things like pokemon and warriors and random other books i read thru middle school (i used to read a LOT but now im practically illiterate); spn, sherlock, and marvel through high school; and then marvel and bttf thru the end of hs and beyond. Idk i also have always loved looking at other peoples fan art and so im like “shit i wanna do that too!”. Tho i will say marvel was my biggest fandom and the one i had the longest interest in, so that was probably where the passion REALLY came from cuz I was drawing marvel stuff for such a long time (tho not posting shdjsk u have to trust me), but ive been doing fan art forever :)
(Of course, a lot of the fan art i was making prior to recently was drawn in lined notebooks or on homework sheets or what have you, and I wasn’t posting really any of it, but i was still making it and a good chunk of it still exists. Oh i should also mention most of it was with pencils or ballpoint pens like i wasnt doing anything too fancy. There was some digital art in the highschool-college time frame but it also really wasnt…much. Honestly i barely posted any of it here but I know some of it’s on deviantart)
I cant pinpoint the exact time I started getting more “serious” about my art in general, but i know the first pandemic lockdown gave me more free time and i was less stressed about schoolwork so i just kinda had a good outlet. (Tho i will say that prior, I had been in a life drawing club for a short while, and i had also been working on a personal sketchbook project that had me pretty ~inspired~ to do art. Also i watched twin peaks around this time and it inspired a lot of Feelings and i was making funky collages and other art pieced that were sometimes related to that. Some of those are on deviantart)
Honestly I think the Big thing with my digital art was coincidentally getting back into BTTF the summer of the 35th anniversary bc the fandom here was THRIVING and i was like “oh shit wait i want to contribute!” But as i kept drawing i kept wanting to improve and that leads us to right now where im constantly trying new things (whether subtle or obvious) and challenging myself to do full body drawings with different poses, and doing screencap redraws and what have you for various reasons (backgrounds, proportions, pose, etc)
So yeah :) Basically I’ve been doing fan art forever (I didnt even get into all the mediums ive tried but that’s another conversation bc this is already so long and convoluted) and it’s kinda coincidental that ive suddenly really gotten back into it and have improved dramatically in such a short time. Thank you so much @rovermcfly for the ask and again im really sorry you had to wait so long for a response! Stupid tumblr
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inkykeiji · 4 years ago
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Clariiii, how do you juggle your writing from your other work/school/hobbies? I write as well, although it's mainly for my own little head to explore my experiences/fantasies, but lately, I just CAN'T manage my time well... like at all ! Im supposed to be doing homework, yet i find myself listening to music and typing away at a story on my computer. So frustrating >.< maybe its the Covid-alwaysinmydamnhouse-blues
ah good question anon!!! i’m gonna answer under the cut!! <33
aaah it’s quite difficult, isn’t it!! before anything else, i just wanna say that i’m proud of you, both for writing (that’s awesome!!! even if it’s just for you!!) and for wanting to get yourself in order and organize your time better (good god i know the feeling!!). i’m not in school at the moment—i was super lucky and graduated riiiight before covid hit—and covid also robbed me of my job lmao, so i literally spend my days at this current moment at home writing & taking care of a family member.
BUT i did write while in school full-time, so i can try and let you know how i managed to balance all of that out and what i’m trying to do now (i, too, have fallen quite off track with balancing out things (more with my blog than anything else; i’m trying to figure out how to balance writing with answering asks hahaha which maybe sounds a little silly, but i’ve been feeling so chaotic these past two months), so we’re in the same boat anon and i am also trying to get back to having a bit more of a schedule/a healthy balance!!) whoa brackets in brackets okay ANYWAY
first off, i think it’s really important not to be too hard on yourself when it comes to trying to set a schedule and allot time for specific things AND not to try and rush into it—i’m really guilty of both of these, and all it does is make you more frustrated and upset. i keep trying to jump into a routine instead of ease into it, and it only ends up stressing me out more and making me angry at myself ahaha
my point is, getting into a routine where you’re balancing multiple things like that is going to take time and practice; it’s like developing a habit, you know?? so, more than anything, go slow, and start by setting small realistic goals you can achieve. what i’m currently doing is making a list of priorities sorted from most important to less important (but still important) lmao. if you’re trying to juggle several things—like, for example, let’s hypothetically say you’re trying to juggle your schoolwork (essays + readings), your writing, and a few different hobbies (seeing friends, exercising, watching a show, playing with your pet)—that’s a LOT!! so instead of trying to plan out some sort of rigid schedule that includes all of them, organize these things into a list of most important to least important, and start by trying to balance only two or three of the MOST important things.
ie. try to figure out a routine for these things first—let’s say that would be schoolwork, your writing, and seeing friends (i know its a pandemic but we’re talking hypothetically here ehehe). essays and assignments already have due dates, so that should help at least a little in terms of planning out and allocating time for them. make it a goal to at least work on something from school (readings, homework, assignments yk whatever) for an hour or two, every single day or almost every single day (and, if that’s too much for you to start out with, then lower it—whatever works for u, bb <33 don’t try to take on too much all at once!!).
make sure you do these things FIRST every day that you have allotted time for them, esp because they seem to be the things you’re procrastinating on, right? so just get them out of the way. when i was in university, i would use my other hobbies (so in our hypothetical example, writing and seeing friends) as rewards. so i’d be like ‘alright, let me do two hours of research, and then i can spend the rest of the night writing’ or ‘okay, let me read three articles, and then whatever time i have left i will dedicate to writing’ etc. it’s difficult, because there’s a fine line between like, being stern and pushing yourself, and being TOO strict with yourself, but only YOU know your limits, so pay attention to your mental and physical health, and adjust your life routine accordingly. self-discipline is a skill, too, and it also takes time and effort to develop, but i promise you that you CAN do it (or get back on track again, if you’ve fallen off like me!)
after you’ve got this routine down (which is almost like building a foundation or base of like, the most important things in your life that you want to devote time to), then you can slowly try to add anything else into it, one hobby at a time. but this is what worked best for me in university. currently, mine goes a little more like: taking care of myself (health wise) and my family member comes first, and then writing, and then asks. once i have this down, i’d like to add in steady reading (a chapter a day), instead of the sporadic reading i’m doing right now hahaha but ANYWAY!!
gosh anon i hope this makes sense lmao i found it kind of hard to explain but pls feel free to ask for like, clarification if it’s confusing aaaah <33 it can be a little difficult ofc since routines like this are so personal, but i hope that this at least gives you an idea of what i do (or used to do, and am trying to get back to ehehe)
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thoughtsfromthevoid · 4 years ago
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Things my parents have said and done that terrify me (I have anxiety and depression, ADHD and currently have tics ((Or a Tourettes diagnosis they don't believe in)) from being so anxious all the time)-
-That if I keep coming home late (normally like 5-10ish minutes because traffic) I won't be allowed to go out at all. (I'm not even the one driving, and my friend(s) aren't doing anything to keep me out past that time.)
-"You're only the 357 thousandth teenager to pull the 'I'm down' all the time, its not going to change anything. Drama is drama." (Said because I've been severely depressed lately and not reacting to things like normal.)
-"There was a miscommunication between us (mom and dad) on what you're allowed to do at night." (Had to have me stop for a bit until I got on tic meds, it was very bad. Doctor told us to. I had been doing after school things and been on the meds for 2 weeks at that point)
- "Don't manipulate me into saying yes to things." (Accidentally said friends and I were going through the drive through at wrong restaurant which they wouldn't have said yes to)
-"Don't wake me up if the house is on fire." (Said not to me, but to other parent, out of frustration of being startled awake because they don't sleep well)
-Some more things I won't say on the internet
-Disagreed with my tourettes diagnosis so strongly because they didn't see the tics I referred to happening in the past and since they notice everything, it makes this invalid.
-Also said I don't have tics like others with tourettes and that they don't say random things and is more repeated and that I don't do that when I definitely do, said a wrong definition as well, even after research
-This morning I wasn't apparently allowed to talk when coming into the living room bc it didn't need to be said to them while cooking, not allowed to go in the kitchen at ALL during this time either
-Said every child who doesn't have to do the same amount of chores as me was a spoiled brat or had a ton of siblings when I was struggling with chores and schoolwork for a bit
-Constantly talks negatively about me behind my back to other parent thinking I can't hear when 90% of the time, I can, instead of having a conversation with me about it, its always me being in trouble. Also never sees my improvements and only the failures, it doesn't matter if im working to fix something until it's fixed
-Their autism being used as an excuse constantly as 'it just is this way' and whatever they saying always having to be the truth, even when it isn't. Its not the autism thats the problem, its the constant excuses because of it and toxic mindset and unwillingness to listen. They aren't the only neurodivergant one, I have ADHD. I struggle too. This doesn't seem to matter
-Getting upset when I talk too much and wanting me to be quiet, not wanting to know any of the details when im excited, even when its harmless, the overall frustration of it and wanting me to stop talking so often
-This is normally in effect especially when they are watching stupid (and passable) mindless tv, that I'm constantly triggered by. I constantly have to close my room door to not hear it while doing things like homework, is still always too loud, this is every day after school in the living room, or every weekend. I cant be in that room anymore basically because of it. They get frustrated when asked to pause it quite often, or when I ask for space when doing chores out there, because I hate them looming over me all the time, the TV also makes an unbearable noise for me recently as it is going to die soon of overuse, every time it is on, which stops me from watching basically anything out there or being in the room too long
-Not feeling comfortable enough to practice when parents are home because of looming, coming in while practicing when its not necessary, getting mad when i play things wrong and yelling across the house about it
-my room is my only space, one parent claims entire basement and sometimes I'm not allowed down there at all, even sometimes when I had to sleep down there to feel safe (unrelated issue but still) other parent has living room
-"I dont understand the want/need to go over there." Me asking to go to a friends house after school, everything needed to be done was done, after a really hard day and me feeling trapped in the house. Apparently I need a reason to go and hang out with friends. I do not feel safe going for walks or anything for other known reasons.
-Getting frustrated with my chair placement every concert in orchestra, never proud of me for anything like that either. (Or at least expressed to me) Makes me feel worse and worthless, to the point where I am considering quitting even though I love the instrument, the anxiety and depression now caused by these issues and pressures being put on me over the years is becoming unbearable. Pressure and anxiety lead to me quitting and hating piano after 8 years as well.
I'm really sick of being in trouble for things I can't control, or something I didn't do intentionally. If it was on purpose? Yeah, I get it. If it was something bad? Sure. I never do anything I think is bad, or know I'll get in trouble for. I don't want to be in trouble. I hate it. It makes me feel very afraid. I wish they would trust me more. I know my mental health is bad, but I'm not actively trying to do things wrong, and I do actively try to fix my mistakes. I wish they would really listen when I tell them these things, even be a little more lenient. I wish I was good enough, I really do try. I love my parents so much, they can be so very much amazing, but they can be toxic to me too. Even if the intent isn't there, it still is harmful. It makes me feel mentally unsafe in this household. I don't know whats going to be taken away at any moment. At least I feel that way. I want to move out. I really do.
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calcifermovesthecastle · 4 years ago
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Self insert Vento Aureo
not a reader insert
Cw: mentions of non-con and trauma, blood
I woke with a start 3 days later, the faint memory of a nightmare clinging to my mind. I bit my lip, crawling out of bed when I noticed Abbacchio wasnt with me. 
The second I reached the living room, I heard voices in the kitchen. I stood against the wall, chewing my lip. 
"No, I know she's supposed to stay with me, but It seems like for the next three weeks I'm going to be gone for days on end, and She won't be safe home alone. Mista can take her for a couple nights, but she needs somewhere safe, and safest is with you." 
"I don't mind watching her, but Bucciarati, this is excessive." I could hear Abbacchio sigh, and I bit down, trying to work through what I was hearing. Bucciarati sighed himself, and I heard footsteps. 
"She is asleep now, right?" 
"Yeah, out cold. She went to bed at 5." 
"Good. I'm just… I'm worried. This stand user is targeting girls her age and I don't want her to worry about it. I know she's capable, But these girls are disappearing without a trace. Not to mention I'm doing my damned best to find her rapist. Every time I pick up a trail, it falls out of my hands. Please, watch her." 
"You know I'm going to, but I like my privacy, Bucciarati." 
"I know… I hate to put this on...Did you hear that?" 
I had bit a chunk out of my lip when I heard Bucciarati's words, and gasped when blood spurted in my mouth. I brought a hand up to my mouth, debating on walking into the kitchen or going to the bathroom. I didn't think fast enough, because the light in the living room was turned on, and Bucciarati and Abbacchio stepped in. 
"Sasa, I thought you were asleep," Bucciarati said gently. I kept my mouth covered, swallowing. 
"...had a nightmare." 
"Are you okay?" 
"No." I swallowed again. "I bit my lip pretty bad." 
"You really have to stop chewing on it." He walked over to me, moving my hand. I couldn't tell if I was mad at him or not, so I recoiled from his touch. Concern flickered across his features. "What was the nightmare? You look shaken up." 
"I don't remember the nightmare. Why do you hide things from me?! Why does everyone keep things from me? I'm a member of Passione. I have a stand. Fuck, I was the one who was raped, Bucciarati, so why hide information about it from me? If I meet the criteria to be kidnapped by some mysterious stand user who targets girls my age, why keep it from me? Why not tell me, so I can be on guard?! Why do you insist on treating me like a child, Bucciarati?" 
"It's not because I'm underestimating you, Sasa." He sat on Abbacchio's couch, beckoning me over to sit next to him. I shook my head, crossing my arms. He sighed. "You're very capable. You're very bright, and you're strong. But you are only 14, and you have no business being in the mafia so young. The only reason you joined is because you were born with a stand. And because you went behind my back to pass Polpo's test. It breaks my heart seeing you go down this path." 
"It's better than my parent's path. At least I'm not overdosing on Heroin." I bit down on my lip, flinching when I bit my wound instead. Bucciarati sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. 
"It's… It's not like I'm asking for you to let me go with you, Bucciarati." I spoke slowly, so my voice wouldn't shake. I was mad after all. "I just want you to keep me informed on things. Especially if it involves my attacker. I don't like being kept in the dark." 
Bucciarati looked up at me, something flickering behind his eyes. He stood and took my hand, leading me back into the bathroom. 
"Sasa, look in the mirror. Your nightmares are getting worse and more frequent. You've lost enough sleep to kill. You're working yourself to the bone trying to catch up with school. You look sick all the time, and I know it's because you're stressed. You've got to start taking care of yourself. You don't have to be working all the time to be appreciated and valid. Honestly, it makes me happiest to see you acting like a normal kid your age, when you're doing schoolwork or having fun with Mista. And now, I need you to stay with Abbacchio for a little while longer while I work, okay?" 
"Why- I feel like I'm intruding. Why Cant He come stay with Us? That way he can have his own space and I can sleep in my own bed? And then I won't have to worry about you If you're going to be home periodically." 
"See? You're brilliant. I didn't think of that. Please, Sasa, for me. Take the backseat and focus on other things right now." 
"You know I can't do that, Bucciarati." I swallowed, grabbing a wad of tissues and pressing them to my lip. "You said it yourself. My nightmares are getting more frequent." 
Bucciarati cupped my face in his hand, pondering me. "How about this. We'll compromise. I'll keep you updated on everything that concerns you, and you focus on school instead of work, okay?" 
"That-that's fair, Bucciarati." My hands shook. "O-oh. um, do you have-" 
"Abbacchio told me, Sasa. I put a whole pack in the cupboard for you. But let's get you home, hm?" 
"I'd like that…" 
Bucciarati smiled, wrapping me in a hug, which I returned, squeezing my eyes shut. 
After my much needed shower with my own products, I went out to the living room, sitting quietly on the love seat. Abbacchio and Bucciarati were sitting on the couch, barely any space between them. I chewed my lip quietly for a moment, my hair dripping onto my clothes. Bucciarati opened his eyes when I walked in, smiling at me. 
"Are you ready for bed, Bimba?" 
"I just have a little bit of homework to do…" I looked between him and Abbacchio, sighing. 
"That can wait. I called into your school yesterday and told them you'd be out for a while." 
"You just told me to focus on school!" I couldn't hide the frustration in my voice, and I flopped back against the couch, looking up at the ceiling. "Which is it, Bucciarati?" 
"It's not… it's not safe right now, Sasa." Bucciarati chose his words carefully. "And besides, this time off will help you catch up a little bit. You can work at your own pace." 
"By keeping me locked up at home. Great." I rubbed my eyes. I wasn't really being fair, and I knew that, but I was tired. It didn't justify it, but it explained it. 
"Oi," Abbacchio's voice was sharp, and he stood, grabbing my face and leaning down. "He's only doing this so you don't get attacked again, monello. Or did you want to risk your life, have it happen again, for more hours filled with more nightmares? Watch your mouth." 
"H-" my voice caught in my throat, and I searched Abbacchio's face, betrayed and hurt. He realized his mistake in a moment, his face falling when he saw the tears rising in my eyes. "How can you say that i- that I want that?" 
"Abbacchio, let go of her." Bucciarati's voice was soft, but stern. As soon as I was free, I stood, slowly, staring up at Abbacchio with the same horrified look. I glanced over at Bucciarati, quickly, before turning on my heel and walking quietly and slowly back to my room, locking the door.
I cried myself to sleep.
For the next two days, I kept myself locked away in my room. I cried, a lot, a lot more than I wanted to, but it would be random bursts out of nowhere. 
I didn't have an appetite, so I didn't eat. The only time I left my room was to go to the bathroom across the hall. 
There was a knock on the door later that night, and Abbacchio's voice leaked through. 
"Sasa, I ordered takeout. Come eat something." 
I frowned, slamming my pencil down on my math workbook. 
"I'm not hungry. I don't want anything. Just put it in the fridge or toss it. And leave me alone." 
My voice cracked, and I angrily wiped my eyes, looking in the mirror and seeing the face of my rapist instead of mine. I turned away, before taking the blanket from my bed, covering the mirror with it. I tightly shut the blinds to my window as well, and used a tee shirt to cover up my smaller mirror. 
I didn't sleep well that night, spending what time I was asleep in nightmares, and the rest staring up at my ceiling. 
The next time there was a knock at my door, it was Mista's voice. 
"Hey, can I come in?" 
"No. I'm busy with school right now." 
"From what I hear, you've been busy with school for five days. Have you eaten anything? 
"I'm not hungry. Sorry, could you go? I'm trying to concentrate on this." 
"Sasa-"
"GO!" I slammed my hands down on my books, irritation coursing through my veins. 
I was left alone for the next day and a half. I snuck out of my room when I heard Abbacchio's snores, to get a glass of water and to eat something light- i think it was an apple-  before scurrying back to my room and slamming the door when I heard him get up. 
I recognized the next knock, and dreaded the events that followed. I doubled down, trying to focus on my math. 5x40. 
"Sasa, can I come in?" Bucciarati's voice gave nothing away, and I groaned, frustrated. 
"Not right now, Bucciarati. I'm trying to do my homework." 
"I'll ask one more time, Sasa. This is your chance to let me in." 
"No," I said firmly. "I don't want to see anyone right now." 
"That's too bad, Sasa." I heard a zipper, and Bucciarati stepped in, blinking in surprise when he saw the state the room was in. 
My overhead light was off, the only light source being my bedside lamp. There was no blanket on my bed, it was still covering the mirror. 
I flinched when Bucciarati flicked the lightswitch, blinking rapidly to adjust to the new light. When he sat on the edge of my bed, I scooted further away, staring firmly down at my schoolwork. 
"Bimba, we have to talk about this," he began gently, reaching over and pulling my books off of my lap. "You can't lock yourself away like this." 
"I-" I took a deep breath, trying not to snap at him. I really didn't want to, but my mood wasn't the best. I just swallowed and let him continue, shaking my head. 
"Has Abbacchio apologized?" 
I shook my head. "He bought takeout a couple days ago, but I wasn't hungry." 
"Have you let him apologize?" 
Slowly, I shook my head. "I don't know if im- if I'm ready to forgive him for that. I know he says a lot of things out of frustration but… but this one meant something and it really, really hurt me." 
"How much have you eaten, Sasa?" 
"An apple, I think. I'm not hungry. I just feel sick. I- I am drinking water though." I gestured vaguely to the glass on my bedside table, frowning. "How much longer am I going to be out of school?" 
"I haven't caught him yet. Fugo and I were out all week, but the most we got were some of his subordinates. It's freezing in here, Sasa. Have you been sleeping without a blanket all week? Why is it covering your mirror?" 
"I kept seeing his face." I swallowed. "In the window too. 's why my blinds are shut." I finally met Bucciarati's face, my lip trembling. His brow was knit, and he reached out and took my hand. 
"Right, Sasa. Come on, out to the kitchen. I'm going to make you some food before I have to get going again. And you have to eat it."
 I knew there was no point in arguing with him, so I stood and followed him out to the kitchen. Abbacchio was sitting at the table, so I remained standing. 
"Sit down."
"I-"
"Sasa, sit down." 
I sighed, pulling a chair out and sliding into it. Abbacchio looked up at me, clearing his throat. 
"I'm sorry for saying what I said. There's no excuse for it." 
"You really hurt me, Abbacchio. You have to be careful with what you say. Sometimes they're not an 'in the moment' kind of thing." I swallowed, hesitating for a moment before reaching over and grasping his hand. "Just don't say anything like it ever again, and I'll forget about it.
"I promise." He squeezed my hand, pulling it up to press his lips to it. I gave him a wobbly smile.
Bucciarati set a bowl down in front of me, ruffling my hair and squeezing my shoulder. I broke down, tears filling my eyes and spilling over. 
"It's alright, Bimba." Bucciarati sat next to me, keeping his hand on my shoulder. "Eat your soup, okay? And watch some TV. I'll be back tomorrow."
    That night, I sat next to Abbacchio on the couch, and he turned the TV on. I didn't really pay attention to the movie, instead finishing my math workbook. He checked it over for me, smiling when he saw that I got it all right.
    The movie ended, and he got up and put a new one in. I smiled when I saw that it was Jaws. 
    "Is this your attempt at a peace offering?" 
    "Is it working?" 
    "You didn't have to in the first place." I met his eyes, reaching for his hand. "Really. I do appreciate it though." 
    He lounged back on the opposite end of the couch, and halfway through the movie, I lay down with my head resting on his stomach. He brushed my hair out of my eyes so I could see, and by the time the movie had reached its climax, I had fallen asleep. 
(Bucciarati's POV) 
    I walked in my house around 4 am, having no new leads on who this stand User was. I heard noises coming from the living room and peeked in. The news was on low, and when Abbacchio saw me, he shushed me, nodding down to Sasa. I smiled when I saw her finally resting, and finally looking like she was getting good sleep." 
    "How long has she been asleep?" 
    "Since 7. I put Jaws on after she finished her math homework and she passed out on top of me about halfway through. She's doing much better. Not a single problem was wrong." 
    "Really?" I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "I'm impressed. She's really been struggling with Math lately." I glanced at her as she took a deep breath and shifted a bit, turning to Abbacchio when her breathing evened out. "Do you want a coffee?"
"Sure, I'll take one." 
I disappeared into the kitchen, returning with the two coffees and sitting on the floor, leaning against Abbacchio's legs. He took his mug and sipped it, closing his eyes. 
"Anything interesting on the news?" 
"Nah, just bullshit politics and what the weather's gonna be like today," Abbacchio looked down at me, his lips quirking up in a smile. ""Anything interesting happen last night?" 
"Nah, we're no closer. This guy hides himself really well." I finished my coffee, setting the mug aside. 
I found myself dozing off as well. 
(Abbacchio's POV) 
I flipped through the channels on the tv until I found something worth watching. Both Bucciarati and Sasa were out cold against me, both snoring softly. It was quiet while I watched an old documentary- something about ancient egypt- and I stayed as still as possible until I felt Sasa move. I looked down in time to see her eyes flutter open. She looked up at me, blinking slowly as if registering I was there. 
"Time is it?" 
"Shh… It's… 12:30." I reached over and adjusted her blanket. She nodded, yawning, and turned, seeing Bucciarati's head resting against my leg. She was quiet for a moment before turning to me. 
"Tell me the truth, Abbacchio. Are you two…?" 
"I don't know, Sasa." I sighed. "Sometimes it feels like it, but other times it just seems that there's that barrier of professionalism." 
"Screw Professionalism." She yawned, snuggling closer to me. "I think you two should. I want to see you both happy, and Every time you're together, you both look so...at peace with things. I dunno. I wish you would, and then you could move in here. I'd like having my two dads together." 
I looked down at her, nonplussed. "What?" 
"I think you heard me, Abbacchio. And I know you know that I mean it."
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thesibyllinebooks · 5 years ago
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The New Yorkers (Part 26)
Percy opened the door to Annabeth’s apartment. He shut the door with his foot. Annabeth didn’t even look up. She sat with her feet propped up on the coffee table, alternating between staring at her laptop and the textbook next to her. 
Kicking off his shoes, Percy kissed Annabeth on the forehead and joined her on the couch. She’d been pretty quiet ever since their return from Camp Half-Blood a few days ago. Thankfully, her siblings had heard her out and voted to vacate the Athena Cabin. They’d admitted to Annabeth Athena hadn’t been much of a mother to them either, so when it came to choosing her or choosing to hopefully end a war, it wasn’t much of a choice to make. Annabeth’s sister Sophia had promised to alert the rest of the camp that same evening. Percy knew Annabeth had wanted to stay and deliver the message herself but Chiron had encouraged them to leave and allow the current campers to handle it, as that was how things were meant to be. Annabeth, never the type to want someone to do something she could do herself, was taking it hard. 
“You’re like a dog,” Annabeth sighed, looking down as Percy cuddled up to her and put his head in her lap, nearly knocking her laptop off her legs.
“I missed you, so sue me,” Percy said. He breathed in Annabeth’s lemony smell.
“You saw me this morning,” Annabeth pointed out. At this point, Percy sleeping over was pretty common. Annabeth of course didn’t mind. He couldn’t imagine Jason or Piper were upset about it either. 
Percy glanced at the clock under the TV. “Yeah, but that was a whole ten hours ago,” he whined.  
Despite herself, Annabeth glanced down at her boyfriend and smiled. He was such a doofus. She put her fingers in his hair. “You know,” she said slowly. “Your lease is up in July and I was thinking...”
“Is Annabeth- I like my space- Chase asking me to move in with her?” Percy said, faking an expression of awe. 
“Shut up,” Annabeth said back. “I mean you’re always over here anyway. And... it was going to happen eventually.”
“What makes you think that?” he asked. When Annabeth’s face went red with embarrassment, Percy laughed. He squeezed her tighter. “I’m just joking. Of course, I’d love to move in with you, Wise Girl. As long as you don’t mind a little mess.” Truly, Percy was excited to live with Annabeth. He looked forward to the fun parts like blowing up the kitchen while trying to cook together, and cuddling and watching movies. He didn’t exactly look forward to fighting over who left the toilet lid up, or their differing levels of cleanliness. 
Annabeth shook her head. “I know who I’m dating.”
“Well, at least you’ll have someone around to make sure you eat. I’m sure you’ve been studying all day,” Percy said. “Speaking of which, I ordered a pizza on the way home.”
Annabeth nodded absentmindedly. Even though his gestures were usually small, Annabeth couldn’t ever get enough of how thoughtful Percy was. “Well, you know I have that huge honors paper on the evolution of Revivalism,” Annabeth said.
Percy nodded. He reached across Annabeth to move her textbook out of the way. “I also know you drown yourself in books and studying when you’re stressed out,” he said gently. 
Annabeth sighed. ��No, Percy. I have work to do,” Annabeth persisted. “Not everything is about-”
“I know, I know,” Percy said. “I just think- you know, based on the last two wars... I’d hate if we lost ourselves again. Not that I don’t care and I’m not worried, but we can’t let it consume our whole lives.”
Annabeth’s expression softened. She knew her boyfriend was right. Stewing on the matter wasn’t going to help anything, especially if there was nothing that could be done in the moment. Sophia and Chiron were handling things at camp.
“I know, Percy. But my mind wanders and then I feel guilty for not worrying sometimes even though I know worrying isn’t going to fix anything.”
“I get it. But we deserve lives, too. Chiron was right. We’ve made it this far, so we should be at least somewhat happy.” As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Percy let go of Annabeth and got up to open it. After he exchanged a few nice words with the pizza guy, he returned to the living room and set the box on the table. Annabeth got up to get plates. 
“Hey, I’m going to change real quick.” Percy called. 
“Okay.” It made Annabeth happy to know that in a few months, she and Percy would be living together full-time. Instead of him having a few changes of clothes in her apartment, all his things would be there. They’d be living like a real couple, happy and discovering life. If the gods’ alternative plans didn’t completely destroy their lives first. Annabeth tried to push the though out of her mind. She couldn’t think about that. She couldn’t give attention to her mother either, or else Athena’s presence would start to grow again. 
Annabeth plopped down on the couch. She opened the pizza box. Only when she smelled the food did she realize she hadn’t eaten since she’d come home that afternoon. Her mind had been reeling about schoolwork, and Percy, and everything else. Hazel had IMed and promised she’d get back in touch when Frank returned from Camp Jupiter in two days. Annabeth tried to take Percy’s advice. After all, it was a Friday night. They should be doing what any other young couple did- watch movies, hang out, just love each other. After all, who knew how much time they had left? Annabeth hoped it was eternity, but she knew better than almost anyone the next day wasn’t promised. 
Percy walked back into the living room. He stopped when he noticed Annabeth staring at him dumbly. She sat there, frozen, her plate in one hand a pizza slice in the other. “What?” Percy asked. 
“We should get married,” Annabeth blurted out.
Percy stared at Annabeth, mouth agape. It was unexpected but he knew she wasn’t joking. “Um, not that I don’t want to marry you, but where did that come from?” Percy asked cautiously, sitting next to her on the couch. He had half a mind to lay his hand on her forehead to see if she had a fever.
Annabeth shrugged. “I mean, we love each other,” she said casually. “And it’s not like we haven’t talked about it.”
“Yeah,” Percy agreed. He reached for a piece of pizza, trying not to make it obvious he was in absolute shock. “When we were older. And besides, we can’t get married before Hazel and Frank. That would be kind of rude.”
Annabeth pursed her lips like she hadn’t thought about that. “We could just go to the courthouse or something, Percy,” Annabeth suggested. “I don’t want the whole big wedding thing. I just want you. We don’t even have to tell them just yet.”
Percy was silent. He was thinking about how to approach the situation gently. Just minutes ago, Annabeth had asked him to move in, and now she wanted him to marry her. Both things had been completely out of the blue. Even though he loved Annabeth probably more than he loved himself, he knew she wasn’t just asking because she was eager to take their relationship to the next step. She was stressed, and scared, and wanting to grab hold to Percy in any way she could. 
“You think I’m going to leave you,” Percy realized. “And I’m not. I swear it on the River Styx.”
Annabeth’s eyebrows wrinkled. “Percy, don’t,” she said quietly. 
“But that’s why you’re asking, isn’t it? Because you’re scared.”
Annabeth stopped chewing. “I mean, I also love you, but don’t let that be a deciding factor,” she said bitterly.
“Of course, I know that,” Percy said, trying to keep cool. “But I also know that you think whenever things get a little difficult, I think about leaving you. I never do, you have to trust me on that.”
Annabeth didn’t know what to say. By the look on her face, Percy knew he was right. “I’m just saying it wouldn’t hurt,” she persisted. “Even if I know you aren’t going to leave me, it would feel even better to have something-”
“Permanent?” Percy guessed, thinking back to the conversations they had when they were teenagers. After everything that had happened, that seemed like decades ago.
Annabeth nodded. She didn’t have anything else to say. 
Admitted, things had been moving quickly since they’d gotten their memories of each other back. Things still felt new to Percy since he had to go through meeting Annabeth all over again, but things also felt very much the same. He didn’t know how to explain it well. He’d become accustomed to only dating her for a few months, only to realize they’d been together for years, and best friends longer than that. They had talked about marriage, and kids, and being a family, so Annabeth wasn’t out of line to bring it up again. And, shocked as he was, Percy would be a liar if he said he didn’t want those things too. What could it hurt if it happened a little earlier than planned?
“I’m not upset,” Percy assured her. “These last few months have been crazy but I get how you feel. I know it’s like we just lost each other, so things feel kind of fragile. But I promise it’s only made me love you more.”
Annabeth finally turned to look at him. “I love you too, Percy,” she said. There was still anticipation in her voice, like she was still waiting for her question to be answered. 
Percy sighed and leaned back on the couch. “I always thought I’d be the one to propose,” he started with a small smile. “I mean I figured I’d goof it up but still. I didn’t think it would come from you sitting on the couch looking like an absolute bum eating pizza.”
Annabeth hit him on the shoulder, but a smile crept across her face. “I mean, when have we ever done anything the normal way?”
Percy shrugged. He stared at his girlfriend- well, his soon to be wife. He couldn’t help but smile at the unexpected thought. “Good point. I guess we shouldn’t start now. Let’s do it, Annabeth. Let’s get married.”
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tangerinegod · 4 years ago
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Hello! I am sorry to bother you but I am a senior getting ready for college this year. I am in the US and I wanted to major in the same thing you did, do you have any possible tips for me? I still haven't even looked for colleges that would be best for animation majors so I figured if you were up to giving out any tips/saying any basic ideas if you wanted to/if you had the time to then maybe I'll have a better idea! I apologise for if I sound weird! I'm tried to word it correctly but I can't 😿
hi!! i’m totally down to share my experiences! someone else also had some questions so i’m going to put them all together in this post haha, hopefully this helps! it’ll get pretty long so apologies ahead of time but art school is a lot to think about so i wanna be as helpful as i can around it, its a lot of time and money. I’m gonna put it all under a read more cus it is really really long!
i wanna start off with the fact that I had the privilege of attending school in a financially stable environment, my parents were/are really supportive so w merit scholarship i only came out with around 20-30k in debt and i also had housing support my entire time in school. they were ok with me focusing on academics so i didn’t hold a retail job unless i was out of school like summer/winter break. Ofc though i regularly take commissions/do merch/cons to try and pay for all bills that arent rent cus i did want to be financially independent where it was possible. I also did try and work during the semester but everytime i did my body would deff start to breakdown from the fact that i didnt wanna compromise schoolwork with jobs.. so just read ahead know this experience is from a student who was able to attend focusing only on school work for most of the time!
the biggest thing is knowing art school is not required to become a professional in either freelancing or industry! there are a huuuge amount of online tools and classes these days that provide the exact same education and for cheaper too. i think it depends on what experience you prefer/can handle/want but it’s definitely possible to make art/animation art your living without higher education. the thing that college will for sure give you though is the ability to meet deadlines, work even when you dont want to, and connections with peers+teachers. i think the connections part is invaluable because you’re basically coming out with a network of people you already know and who know you! 
also its good to know if you want to attend/can handle art school! it’s a lot of time and energy and students get burned out really fast. the best piece of advice i got before going was ‘if you draw every single day, even if its for only like 5-10 minutes or a doodle for a whole year you should be fine’ consistency is super key because you’re attending school to draw, and you’ll have to create work for stuff you aren’t excited for at some point or another. burnout is extremely real and the only reason i didn’t experience it was probably because i got super into drawing naruto fanart again inbetween sophomore and junior year! it helped give me something to draw seperated from school which is the only thing i was drawing for since i had entered rip. a heads up id also consider myself a workaholic so i fit in ok with the ‘art school’ environment but it is suuper unhealthy. if you are fantastic at managing your schedule then it’s definitely possible to take care of yourself! freshman year i got 8 hours a sleep a night and only pulled all nighters for some second semester finals at the end. sophomore year + up though i ended up prioritizing hw over sleep and like for sure, definitely shortened my life span. there’s another q down below where i’ll go more into detail but ya, be careful w ur work balance!
another tip especially for animation is knowing for a fact what type of animation you’re looking to go into, and what the school is offering. I didn’t think i’d get into art school at the time so i only applied to two places + decided if i didnt get into either id attend community to get credits out of the way while building portfolio. honestly? i did not do a lot of research LOL but like i did end up having the chance to tour and stuff! just know that each school will have a very different curriculum. The main differences are schools that prioritize 3D (cg animation, cg modeling, ect) and 2D/traditional (hand drawn, ‘oldschool’, digital or traditional based) this is a huge difference so make sure you do research for it! in most cases a 2D/traditional program will also offer 3D since it’s at the forefront of the industry animation wise rn. My school taught 2D but like hand drawn on physical paper 2D, frame by frame. while it was a good experience it’s super outdated because digital tools make it way faster + easier! i’d recommend looking for a program that is digital 2D over traditional 2D. 
if after your senior year covid is still affecting campuses in the US to keep them shut down i’d recommend attending a community college to get credits and then transferring into school. one of the negatives is paying money for gened classes when ur not there for them; if you can get them out of the way sooner and cheaper there is absolutely no negative + you could graduate earlier or use the extra time for better work or to work a job! 
these are all the general tips i think i’d give on like a broad basis of attending or not to think about? let me know if u have more q’s! someone asked q’s im answering below that go more into personal experiences + work culture so heres those:
- how many hours a week do u spend studying, in class, otherwise making art? like how much of ur life does it consume?
I was basically working on art.... 24/7! since i wasnt working a job at the same time i crammed as many credits as possible into my schedule so on avg i did 18 credit semesters (around 6 classes) art classes go for 6 hours and non art go for 3, so i’d spent around 30-35 hours in class a week! hw wise it varied on the class but combined it would be around 35-50 hours a week... im guessing? on average studio classes would have 8-10 hours of hw, maybe 5 for a light week, and gened classes 5 hours w them all combined. or this was probably how things were before junior year? junior+senior year i had thesis + everything else ontop.. i’d spend around 30-40 hours on thesis a week with other classes ontop of that bc my film was super long cus im a dummy! 
- is it hard going to art school n realising that altho u were probably quite talented… so is everyone else? Like. all of a sudden. ur not special and everyone seems as good as u, you know? More generally, how do u deal with comparison?
kinda?? i think instead of the idea of like you vs others it feels more of like a competition at first to be the best. this varies hugely on school culture though; my animation year was really friendly with each other and get along extremely well, so my answer to this is v different than some others who attended different schools. i think that the idea of ‘comparison’ only lasts a portion of the first year because at some point you realize that it’s not a who’s better as much as its a ‘these are my coworkers’ type thing? like healthy competition 100% because we’re all working to improve but i think most of us learned pretty early on that viewing each other as peers going into the same workforce helped a lot. also at some point everyone develops their own style/starts to develop their artistic preferences so there isn’t a way to compare whos 'better’ anymore? i dont think there ever is tbh because style is appealing based off of an individuals preferences. If anything realizing everyone else is also amazing makes you wanna work harder ig? or thats how i felt! it’s inspiring to be surrounded by so many people who create such amazing work. 
- is there a lot of workaholic culture? all nighter culture?
100000% there can be a workaholic and all nighter culture. i know people who avoided it and thats honestly fantastic because i fall super easily into that pit. sometimes i’ll pull all nighters on a personal project just because i really want to finish it... i am definitely considered a workaholic all the way through and its not healthy rip... i’d estimate at the worst i was pulling 2-3 all nighters a week and only 4-5 hours of sleep on the nights i didn’t? that was only for one year tho, after that i was like yeah ok this is really bad for my health in the long run LOL so i tried to cut it down to one all nighter a week and around 5-6 hours of sleep the rest of the week! by senior year my decision to cram in full semesters paid off and i was able to consistently get around 7 hours of sleep a night + no all nighters minus finals since my schedule was lighter despite thesis 😭 while there is that culture i don’t think people view it as like a badge of honor or something to be proud of anymore which is good, we mostly view it as a flaw of the art school system and something that needs to be fixed!!
- are you glad u did it? how did u know it was what u wanted?
i am glad i did it! i’m definitely in a limbo right now of if it was worth both my time, money, and my parents money rip but i think with what i got out of it i definitely wouldn’t be as far skill wise or knowledge wise when it comes to the art industry. i would say it was only worth it for be because i had so much support going in though so i was able to focus so much on improving. if i had only been able to put in part of the effort and not make full use of the resources provided i would honestly have a different answer.. 
i knew it was what i wanted when i realized i really couldn’t see myself pursuing a different profession happily! despite all the bumps and stuff im fully in love with drawing still and feel honored that it’s a field that can provide a living. my second profession choice was to go into culinary school? and third option i think going was into music cus i was also a band kid hehe.  
- how do u cope with ur hobby becoming ur job? how do u deal with art going from something u do for fun to something u do on command constantly?
i think seperating work art from personal art is important! in my case im doubling naruto into being personal work so i have something to fall back onto that isn’t work related. its been a hyperfixation for 12+ years? so drawing it at this point is just like personal art imo. some people have hobbies outside of art and only draw for their job! i think after attending classes for so long the idea of hobby turning into job feels extremely natural? also i enjoy doing it so thats a huge plus! 
sorry this is SO long but i hope i answered your guys’ questions! if you have more just lmk!
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