#im trying to not complain bc i am very lucky that i get to go on a trip to go see a big city but fjsdkfl im terrified ngl

[tearfest]

sorry to log on n rant but i need to rant

[piplupod]

getting all my packing done in one day and i am so very dizzy and light headed and exhausted dear god i hope tomorrow's drive goes smoothly bc i will be so fucking tired for it (and hopefully the next day's drive as well)

[you-are-constance]

how was the great gatsby musical?

overall, one of my favorite theatre experiences. to the level that i have been looping the cast recording nonstop since it came out last week

i do have a lot of specific points that i could talk So Long about with this show, most of which i'll put under a read more, but first: casting

anyway. spoilers for the great gatsby musical (things that were changed from the book for the production)

the 'main four' being Jeremy Jordan, Noah J Ricketts, Eva Noblezada, and Samantha Pauly, were all absolutely incredible. show stopping in their own ways. i was genuinely so scared that when i saw it that any of these 4 wouldn't be on, but i got so lucky and all of them were!! i am 100% convinced that many of the songs were written just to showcase certain actors voices (jeremy jordan).

let me tell you. getting to see jeremy jordan and eva noblezada live was unlike anything i've ever seen before. i was like. genuinely honored to be there. their stage presence, their voices, their acting ability, oh man... and Samantha Pauly was just incredible, and her big number was so. show stopping. Noah J. Ricketts was amazing the whole time, but his emotion in finale as he was saying the lines that are basically quoted exactly from the book... yeah i cried.

but so many other actors were also so amazing! John Zdrojeski as Tom was so good at the role, because Tom really was genuinely awful, but not in like an evil villain way, because he's much more realistic than that. i also find that a lot of times Tom is kinda seen as stupid or whatever for not noticing a lot of things going around him but in the musical he really like. could tell what was going on. and he worked his way into finding out secrets (kinda more on this later bc of my favorite song)

another main this was just. the design. Linda Cho costumes MY BELOVED im so glad she won the tony because this show DESERVED IT. it was definitely a glorified image of what those 1920s outfits would actually be, but most musical theatre isn't meant to be an exact replica of history, it's meant to dramatize it, and Linda Cho understands the assignment when it comes to costumes. the lighting and scenic design were also just incredible, especially their use of the green light shining from across the bay...

the show started out with Gatsby onstage, reaching for the green light. a set piece is moved across the stage, passing in front of him, Nick standing where Gatsby was. within that moment i was like "if they don't end the show with Nick standing there, the set piece passing in front, and leaving Gatsby behind, reaching for the green light, then what is the POINT" and then they DID and it was just as great as i'd imagined.

there were definitely changes to the story to adapt it to the stage, which i actually enjoyed (i've read the book, but didn't love it mostly due to a bad experience with reading it in school so. yeah). it is kinda more romance-centric in the first act, which i have heard people complain about, but i kinda see reasoning for it. yes, the first act is very much centered around the various relationships (especially the romantic ones), and in the second act, while certain characters (mostly gatsby) try to keep it centered on the romance, there is a much bigger, darker story going on all around them. so i really liked that meta perspective of it.

they also gave a lot more character to mr wilson (idr his first name), effectively intertwining him with both Gatsby and Wolfsheim as he, from the very beginning, plans to move him and Myrtle away from the city (its been a hot sec since i read the book, so idr if that's there but i don't think it is).

the relationship between Nick and Jordan is also taken a lot further in the musical, to the point where they are engaged, but after Myrtle's death, it gets broken off. this is because, in this version, Jordan ends up lumped in with both Tom and Daisy, in with the old money. throughout most of the show she is much more aware of society and doesn't want any part of what her role 'should' be, but when things go south, she is just as quick as the others to abandon what's 'right' in favor of what's better for her. and ik some people might not like that change but i actually did.

Myrtles character is also taken a lot further in this, which i find really fascinating. she is given her own big number right before her death as she tried to go after Tom, saying that he'll leave Daisy and marry her instead, but then she realizes she'll become just like Daisy in that situation, and the only choice is 'love or money.' she eventually decides that she wants to go back to her husband, and the moment she turns back, she is killed. this was Such a big number and, looking back, might be one of my favorites story-wise.

while i absolutely adored most everything, genuinely, the music was by far my favorite part (besides maybe jeremy jordan and eva noblezada...) a personal thing for me was that Every. Single. Song. has SUCH a good bassline. man i need the sheet music for this show. (side note: i got to talk to the show's bass player for a few minutes after the show! i was super nervous about it but im glad i did. he was super nice)

there's def a mix of more modern showtune styles, along with bringing in a lot of jazzy elements, which was GREAT. i love jazz. like i mentioned before, certain songs were definitely written for actor's voices (Past is Catching Up to Me) which is absolutely not a bad thing because they were AMAZING

two of my favorite songs were 'Only Tea' and 'Made to Last.'

only tea is when Gatsby is stressing about Daisy coming over for tea. this was hilarious. I kid you not jeremy jordan jumped a fence at the end. it was iconic. (you can Feel the nerves in just the cast recording alone).

made to last takes place in the scene in the Plaza. it's mostly Tom, revealing the secrets he learned about how Gatsby got his fortune, then Gatsby trying to get Daisy to tell Tom she doesn't love him. there are So Many Good lines in this song (everyone kinda drags Tom a lot its great) but this is where the characterization of Tom was really just. top notch. because he really is freaking Awful. but he's also smart and not going to let go of what he owns (not good that he considers Daisy a possession though...), and he knows exactly what is going to happen to Gatsby--he's not Made to Last.

(also the song Shady is iconic. spinny tailcoats)

another just. singular line that i need to draw attention to, sung by mr wilson (he has multiple songs directed to the Eyes of God), and this line is right when he decides to go after Gatsby. "God sees everything but he's slow on his commands/You've got the eyes of God, Doc/Who's gonna be his hands?"

(this line is reprised in the middle of Gatsby's song right before the gun goes off. fun fact)

i'm sure there are So Many Other Things i could talk about (i s2g i could write 13 essays about this show) but in general like. while it wasn't groundbreaking to the theatre, it was still Such a good show and absolutely deserves better yknow. attention then it's getting. like jeremy jordan is here for a Reason this is a Good show. and mostly this is my begging people to listen to the cast recoding because its SO GOOD.

anyway. if anyone has questions about specific things i am So Happy to talk but here's a lot of my more general thoughts... (god i haven't even Talked about Eric Anderson as Wolfsheim...)

[neuroticboyfriend]

update: when i pressed her she told my dad i wanted her to take me to urgent care and it basically went

>dad immediately gets mad an invalidates me

>i curse and kick a bucket, saying im tired of people fucking believes me

>my dad yells at me to get the fuck out. i shut down and go get ready to leave

>my dad starts complaining about/at me, effectively saying something along the lines of "you just kicked a the bucket!" (so my leg is fine apparently) "urgent care isnt going to do shit! you go to all these doctors, you havs like 15 appointments a week! you have no idea what your mother and i are going through, you just want all the attention to be on you!"

>i tell him he has no fucking idea what im going through because i dont tell him, because this is what he does

>i go to leave, he starts trying to back pedal on telling me to get out, saying i dont understand. starts trying to give me "advice" on my knee. last thing he told me was i cant just walk away

...i walked down to the highway (about 4-5 blocks down), pausing to sit along the way. ironically my leg seems to have mostly righted itself and i am very lucky that afaik i didnt fucking injure myself (yet)

so yeah im kinda in crisis mode. staring down the 7/11 for alcohol. might call a crisis line, might not, who fucking knows. only thing i know is i want to leave home permanently. i also feel gross bc sweaty.

my left leg is a little fucked up and my mom wont take me to urgent care and is minimizing whats happening and idk wtf to do

i think my knee subluxed, my ankle is unstable, and its impacting my entire leg... legit i cant walk with the leg pointed forward, it's pointed 90° outward. which is within my range of motion bc hypermobile but its not normal for it to stay like that and be hard to put back.. my foot is tensing up and going numb too

like. what. am i supposed to do. genuinely if anyone has advice i would appreciate it

[watchmegetobsessed]

TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part One (Harry Styles)

a/n: oh my god i am sooo thankful for the love the masterlist got with just so little info about the story! it means so much to me and i really hope i won’t disappoint you with this story! i was planning to post the first part on tuesday but i got excited bc of all the feedback and reactions and decided to start earlier, so here it is, part one of TLABL, a story im kind of proud of and very happy to share! please drop by my ask box or leave your thoughts on the story, i would love to hear everything from you guys!

pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader

warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce

word count: 11.2k

SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist

“I hope you realize this holds nothing against you, we all love and appreciate you and your work, but we had to face some unexpected problems this past year.”

You sit in front of Claire, your boss completely dumbfounded, not even comprehending what she is saying completely. You came to work this morning absolutely oblivious that today is going to be your last day of work at the daycare you’ve been working at for over two years now.

“I’m sorry, but last time you let us in on the budget you didn’t bring up any complication that might have indicated someone could lose their job, so what possible problem could have come up so abruptly?” you ask with a shocked and nervous chuckle. Part of you kind of hopes this is just some stupid joke she is playing on you, but Claire is not one to make games out of such serious things. Letting out a tired sigh she pushes her reading glasses up to the top of her head into her carefully curled hair.

“Look, I’m really trying not to make a big deal out of it, but we had to make some cuts on the budget. The kitchen and gymnasium renovation was completely unplanned and it kicked us in the butt. We are making some changes about the groups this year and it was made that it can be solved with one less person on the team. I’m sorry it had to be you, but the decision had to be made.”

“But why me?” you press. “There are two people who have been working for a shorter period of time here, didn’t I earn your trust during my time here?”

“It’s not about that, Y/N,” Claire shakes her head.

“Then what is this about?”

“If you are so keen on knowing, we’ve… received a few… complaints.” Your eyebrows shoot up to your hairline, this is the first time you’re hearing about it.

“Complaints?”

“Yes. Some parents are not quite the fan of the kind of mentality you are using while teaching the kids.”

“What are you talking about?” you ask, feeling all the blood rushing out of your face. This is starting to get way too nasty. Claire pinches the bridge of her nose before leaning onto her desk, clasping her hands together.

“I know that you are quite the free spirit and want to teach the kids about openness and acceptance, but not everyone is as rainbow as you are. Some kids brought the word home about what kind of books you’ve been reading and we’ve gotten a few concerns about you basically promoting the LGBTQ community for the kids.”

“I’m not promoting, I’m trying to teach them to accept everyone just the way they are, how can that upset anyone?!”

“Well, it does. The committee had to make a decision on who we should let go and many agreed that it might be the safest decision to make it be… you.”

You’re about to faint. You are sure you are about to fall off this chair and just black out. How can someone get mad about you reading stories about acceptance and treating everyone equally? What kind of monster can see it as a bad thing? And now you are losing your job over such a stupid thing that you don’t even feel responsible for.

Though you’d love to stay and try to convince Claire to not let you go, you know the decision has been made and if you’re being honest, you don’t feel comfortable anymore working at a place where parents tell you off for teaching important values for their kids. Sadly, but you sign all paperwork about your immediate parting and you leave Claire’s office to pack your stuff.

“Miss Y/N! Miss Y/N!” Izzy, one of the sweetest girls in your group basically launches herself at you, smashing against your legs as she hugs you happily. “Do you want to see what I just painted?” She blinks up at you with her gorgeous green eyes and your heart breaks that you won’t get to see her again.

“Oh, Sweetie. I have to—you know what? Sure. Show me your painting,” you smile at her warmly. You can’t say no to her, not when this is the last time you get to see her.

As you’re cleaning out your locker in the break room, Heather walks in and stops in her tracks, seeing you with your gloomy face as you pack everything into a cardboard box.

“What the hell are you doing?” she questions right away. The two of you have known each other for years now, you did the same master’s programme and somehow ended up working here together, carrying on the friendship you’ve formed through your school years.

“I was… fired,” you sigh, wincing at the words.

“What?! Why?”

“Apparently, we are having some budget problems with all the renovations that was made recently and unbeknownst to me, some parents have been complaining about my openness with kids so I was the lucky one to part ways with.”

“That’s fucking bullshit! The kids adore you, how can someone complain about something like that?”

“Don’t know, ask them if you ever find out who they are,” you mumble under your breath as you shut the now empty locker closed. “I’m sorry we can’t carpool anymore,” you pout at her.

“No fucks given about that, what are you gonna do now?” she asks, seemingly very bummed at the news that you won’t be working at the same place now.

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I guess I’ll have to find something new if I don’t want to end up on the streets,” you mumble.

“Oh girl, I’m so sorry,” Heather sighs pulling you into a hug. “Why don’t we go out for drinks on Friday? Everything is on me!”

“Don’t act like I’m already broke, makes me feel like a loser.”

“Sorry,” she scowls. “Just want to brighten you up a little. Meet me at seven at that Mexican place, how does that sound?”

“Stuffing my face with nachos and tequila? Sounds like the best plan I could wish for.”

You waste no time arriving home after your worst day at work. You jump right into the job ads, looking for basically anything that might help you out of this impossible situation. Sending your resume to as many places as possible, you get a few callbacks the next few days, but you only make it to one interview on Friday and that doesn’t go well either. The man who calls in for an open position at a private kindergarten turns out to be a total snob and he doesn’t find your free spirit too fitting with the profile of his institution so you get rejected at the end of the interview.

You head out to meet Heather feeling like shit. You’ve been unemployed for four days, but it’s already breaking your spirits.

“You know what? Clair is a bitch for giving in to the complaints,” Heather slams her fourth shot glass on the table with a grimace. “She should have defended you!”

“I’m sure she just didn’t want to get into any disagreement. Some of the parents donate great amounts to the school and Claire would never risk losing that money,” you sigh rolling your eyes.

“Okay, but she is being very… not inclusive,” she narrows her eyes. “Firing someone for teaching the kids openness? Bullshit.”

“I’m just sad I don’t get to see the kids anymore. They really grew close to my heart.”

“The little fuckers can be so damn cute, almost make me want to have one.” Heather sighs, downing another shot before pulling the nachos closer to her. You laugh at her vulgar reaction, she has always had quite a dirty mouth but somehow she controls herself well around the kids. “How has the job hunting been?”

“Horrible,” you growl in frustration. There are not many that offer a good paycheck and the few that does are these posh places that expect you to treat the kids like they are made out of gold which is ridiculous. That’s not how you raise a kid!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sure something will come up soon. Why don’t you look into nanny jobs, have you thought about that?”

“What do you mean?” you furrow your eyebrows, popping some chips into your mouth.

“A lot of people prefer having nannies for their little children, some even want them to move in. My brother’s ex-girlfriend was a live-in nanny for about two years and she earned a shit ton of money, because she didn’t have to pay rent and a good chunk of the food, because the parents just treated her like part of the family and bought groceries for five people instead of four.”

“I’m not sure I’m cut out for that kind of stuff.”

“What, earning money?” Heather scoffs.

“No, living with a stranger.”

“Most of the time the nanny gets like a separated place so it wouldn’t be that bad, but you know what’s good for you. It was just an idea,” she shrugs.

Soon enough you drop any work talk not wanting to ruin the mood. You enjoy some time away from the stress of job hunting and you’re just trying to have fun with your best friend. You start talking about nostalgic memories from college and end up looking up people you graduated with on social media, checking out what they’ve been up to in the past years.

“Alright, I’m gonna go to the restroom quickly, watch out for my drink,” you announce pushing your drink closer to Heather as you head towards the restrooms.

There’s a bit of a line so you stand behind two girls chatting about some cute guy they just met and leaning against the wall you close your eyes for a moment, feeling the drinks hitting you in the head. You’re not used to drinking, haven’t really had the time to get drunk too much lately and it’s saddening to think that now that you’re unemployed, you could black out every day, you wouldn’t have anywhere to show up in the morning.

Getting deep in your thoughts you almost don’t even notice that your phone is buzzing in your pocket. When you finally realize you pull it out of your back pocket and look down at the unknown number with a scowl. You quickly leave your spot in the line and rush out to hear something as you answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Hi, I hope I’m not calling at an inconvenient time, I’m Harry Styles and I’m looking to talk to Y/N Y/L/N?” you hear a thick British accent on the other end of the line.

“This is her.”

“Great. Sorry for the late call, I’m Isabelle’s father.”

“Isabelle?” you ask in confusion, the names not really clicking in your head thanks to the shots you’ve been taking.

“Isabelle Styles? Izzy?”

“Oh! Yes! Sorry, yeah. Mr. Styles, what can I help you with?” you ask, not sure why Izzy’s dad would be calling you.

“Well I just recently learned from my daughter that you’re not working at the daycare any longer?” “Uh, yeah. Unfortunately I was fired this Monday…” you awkwardly answer.

“I’m sorry about that. Izzy has been really sad about it, I wanted to ask if you’ve found a new job already?”

“Not yet, I’ve been looking but I haven’t had much luck yet,” you confess.

“In that case I have an offer to make,” he firmly continues and you perk up at his words. “I’ve been thinking about pulling Izzy out of daycare, but I didn’t want to do it until I found someone to take good care of her. You’ve been her absolute favorite and she’s been devastated since you’ve been gone. If you’re up for a job of this kind, I would like to offer you a spot as Izzy’s nanny.”

“Oh!” is all you react, completely not expecting this call.

“I know there are a lot to discuss, but if you’re interested, I would be more than happy to have a chat with you sometime this weekend? To go over the details and see if we can make it work.”

“I, uh… Um, yeah. We can meet, that sounds good. When would it be good for you?”

“How about tomorrow afternoon?”

“That can work.”

“Amazing!” he beams. “I’ll send you the address through text if that’s alright for you.”

“Yeah, of course. When should I be there?”

“Would three o’clock suit you?”

“Absolutely,” you nod, stunned at the turn of events.

“Great, thank you so much, and once again, sorry to bother you on your Friday evening. Looking forward to see you tomorrow!”

“Thank you, Mr. Styles, see you soon!”

You get back in line at the bathroom and then make your way back to the table where Heather gives you a puzzled look.

“Did you take a massive shit or something?” she jokes as you take your seat and stare back at her, still in shock.

“No, I had a very interesting call, actually.”

“With who?”

“Um, Izzy Styles’ dad just called and offered me a job as her nanny.”

Heather almost chokes on her drink, coughing at the news. You hand her a napkin as she dries her chin off from her cocktail.

“Harry Styles wants you to be the nanny of his daughter?” she gasps.

“You know Izzy’s dad?”

“Y/N, everyone knows him! He is the sexiest man to walk this planet and not to mention that he is like stupidly rich! Have you not seen him yet?”

“Not really,” you shrug. “Izzy was picked up by an old woman most of the times, I guess I never worked when her dad came for her.”

“That explains why you’re not squirming already,” she scoffs. “That man is like… crazy hot, I’m telling you. I bumped into him one morning when I guess he was dropping Izzy off, the way he said ‘Pardon me, Darling’ made my knees shake,” she tells you, faking an accent that’s nowhere near what Mr. Styles sounded like on the phone.

“Well, I guess I’ll see him for myself. I’m meeting him tomorrow to discuss details,” you shrug and Heather slams her hand on the table.

“Oh my God! You’re gonna work for Harry Fucking Styles! Get ready because your panties will be soaking wet all the time,” she laughs like a hyena.

“Heather, stop!” you shake your head laughing too.

Following Mr. Styles’ call you decide to cut the night shorter than you intended, not wanting to look absolutely wasted when you meet him. Arriving home to your small, one bedroom apartment you take a quick shower before climbing to bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to collect your thoughts. You told Heather you’re not willing to do the whole live-in nanny thing and Mr. Styles might not even want you to live with them, but now that the option is there, you realize it might not be the worst case scenario. Especially since you’re not really swimming in other job offers and you are in desperate need of anything at this point.

Despite having consumed quite some alcohol the previous night, you wake up at a reasonable hour in the morning, finding a text from Mr. Styles about the address you’d have to be going in the afternoon. You make a quick trip to the grocery store and do some chores before you start getting ready for the meeting. You opt for a simple black dress that reaches your knees and pair it with a little funkier, flower printed blazer to bring some color into the outfit.

Punching the address into the GPS you see that it’s taking you to the outer skirt of the city to the neighborhood that’s known to have some quite luxurious estates and you immediately think back to what Heather said about him being ridiculously rich. Driving down the streets in your old Volkswagen you couldn’t stand out more at a place where at least three cars park on the driveways and one of them is a Ferrari or a Porsche.

There’s a massive security gate under the address that’s your destination and it’s left open so you can pull up to the driveway easily. You park next to a fucking Tesla, finding it extremely funny to see your car next to it, but it is what it is. Walking up to the front door you ring the bell as you take a look at the house that can easily considered to be a mansion. Guessing from the outside there are at least about five bedrooms in it and you can only imagine what other luxurious units are squeezed into it.

Soon enough the front door opens and you find yourself staring back at a breathtakingly gorgeous man, wearing a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black suit pants, his chocolate curls falling to his forehead as his emerald eyes fall on you, a warm smile tugging on his lips.

Shit. Heather was fucking right, you think to yourself swallowing hard.

“Miss Y/L/N, it’s so nice to see you. I’m Harry, Izzy’s dad, come on in!” he invites you inside before a short handshake.

“Nice to meet you too, Mr. Styles.”

“Please, just call me Harry. I don’t like formalities at home,” he asks you as the two of you walk further inside until you arrive to what looks like a living room, but it’s actually the size of your apartment.

“Only if you call me Y/N,” you smile at him and he nods right away.

“Miss Y/N!” you hear a small voice call out and turning around you see Izzy running down the hallway until she throws herself against your legs.

“Oh, hello Sunshine!” you hum, squatting down so you can hug her.

“I missed you!” she pouts, rubbing her eyes.

“I missed you too,” you smile at her, caressing her soft cheeks before standing up. An older lady walks in, the one you’ve seen picking up Izzy. She approaches you with a friendly smile as she extends a hand towards you.

“Hi, I’m Ruth, it’s nice to meet you.” “Y/N, nice to meet you too.”

“Ruth, would you take Izzy outside while I talk to Miss—erm, Y/N here?” Harry requests. Ruth nods and taking Izzy’s hand she lures her outside to look for ladybugs in the backyard and that immediately catches her attention. The two of them leave through the sliding door, giving you and Harry privacy.

“Please, have a seat,” he gestures towards the sectional couch. “Would you like something to drink?”

“I’m good, thank you,” you smile at him as he sits in an armchair across you.

The interior of the house is quite cozy, kind of modern with a hint of vintage touches that make it less rigid, a pop of color showing at most corners so it’s not too monochrome. You quite like it.

“Y/N, I once again apologize for calling you at such an inappropriate hour, but I often work late and I wanted to get in touch with you as soon as possible upon hearing the news.”

“Don’t worry about it, I understand.”

“Isabelle mentioned it to me on Thursday that the other workers told her you no longer work at the daycare so I asked around a little yesterday and was informed that they let you go earlier in the week.”

“It was quite sudden for me as well,” you chuckle lightly, feeling a little anxious to talk about it.

“I know it’s not too appropriate, but I asked why they chose you to part ways with and I have to say it’s outraging that some parents are so ignorant and wayward. I’m really sorry this had to be the reason out of everything.”

“Thank you.” It actually feels nice that he thinks the same, this whole firing was ridiculous and you were losing hope in humanity, but Harry is now very much restoring it.

“Let me walk you through what the situation is here and what I was thinking about.” You nod and listen carefully. “I’m president of a record label and it consumes most of my time, I sometimes work sixty hours a week which I know is not ideal and healthy and I’m trying to change it, but it’s not an easy situation. I thought that putting Izzy into daycare was a good idea, but it’s been getting harder to work around her schedule as a single parent with so much work on my hands. Ruth is a family friend who has been helping tremendously with Izzy, but she is not getting any younger and she would like to retire fully and spend more time with her own grandkids. So I’ve been thinking about hiring a nanny for Izzy and try to make her days work around mine while I’m able to do that. She is going to start preschool in little over a year and I want to spend as much time with her as possible, but it’s not easy when the schedule depends on an institution. When she told me about your firing I had the thought that you might be interested in taking the spot as her nanny. She is obsessed with you, wouldn’t stop talking about what you do every day, and I might have also looked into your professional background. I like what I’ve seen and I’m very much into the way you’ve been dealing with the kids at the daycare. Openness is really important and I want Izzy to grow up in an environment that teaches her about being equal and supportive towards each other. I would be more than happy if you’d be the one taking care of Izzy while I’m not available.”

To say the east you’re stunned at how forward and open he was about the offer and his compliment about your professional background is quite flattering. You can tell he is doing an amazing job at raising Izzy as an open and accepting human, she was always one of the nicest and sweetest kids who always made sure to include all her peers in the games you played. And it’s obvious Harry is not just being a hypocrite, his tattooed arm, painted nails and ring clad fingers are not quite what you’d traditionally imagine a man like him wear, but he does it well and clearly doesn’t give a fuck what others might think about it.

Harry continues with how much he thought you’d be earning for the job and you almost choke on your own saliva. It’s almost three times as much as you’ve been earning at the daycare and you’d be able to save a good chunk every month which is quite amazing.

“I have to ask, were you thinking about a situation where I live with you or I’d have to be coming here every day?”

“Well, essentially it would be the easiest for everyone if you moved in. I have plenty of rooms you could choose from and you’d have access to everything else as well, of course, including the home gym, the pool, the sauna and the entertainment room. But I understand if you are not willing to make that commitment. If you choose to live here you wouldn’t be charged anything, naturally.”

This actually sounds like a dream, moving into this luxury mansion from your cramped little apartment and being able to save the money you’ve been paying on rent.

“And what would be the time management? If I moved in it would easily make me fall into a habit of always working, which is not quite ideal,” you point it out.

“Of course,” he nods. “I like to take care of her morning routine so you’d have to start around nine when I leave to the office. If we can make this deal working I’d like her to start taking some extra classes during the day, moving her activities earlier in the day so her afternoons would be free. She takes piano lessons on Mondays and Wednesdays, a swimming instructor comes here on Thursdays and she is taking French lessons every Tuesday and Friday. Everything takes place here, I would reschedule her activities to take place between nine and twelve. You wouldn’t have to worry about her during those times. You’d cover lunch time and then the afternoons. I try to get home between four and six and just work from home if it’s possible so I can be around her. You’d have to only help out whenever I can’t make it home in time I have urgent works that have to be done from home. We could have dinner time together and then her night time routine is my duty again. Ruth is willing to help me out on Saturdays and I spend Sundays with her strictly without any work distraction so you’d have the weekends off unless something comes up. In those cases I would check in with you beforehand and arrange it however it works best for you.”

You’re speechless for a moment. What he just shared doesn’t seem too bad, you might have to work a lot more, but being one on one with just one kid is much easier than dealing with fifteen of them at once. Not to mention that the money is still amazing compared to what you’d have to be doing.

“I’m gonna be honest with you, it’s an amazing offer. Izzy is such a sweet girl, I would be more than happy to take care of her.”

Harry smiles at you warmly, clearly proud of his daughter, as he should be.

“Can I ask for some time to think about it? It would be a huge commitment.” “Of course. Take your time and let me know whatever your decision is.”

“Thank you.”

Harry offers a quick tour in the house regardless, the kitchen is massive, they have a nice dining area with floor-to-ceiling windows looking out to the green slopes of the backyard that seems to be Izzy’s kingdom. She has a playhouse that could almost function as a real one, the pool is filled with floaties for her and she has her own playground further in the back with slides, monkey bars and a swing set. Your assumptions were almost right about the number of bedrooms. Beside Harry’s master and Izzy’s own room there’s one that’s been used by Ruth, one that’s for Harry’s mother and sister for whenever they are staying over and there are three additional rooms now serving as guest bedrooms, one of those would be turned into your room if you chose to move in. The gym seems better than the one you’ve been going whenever you felt like being a little active, the entertainment room has everything you could ever think about for a room this sort of and the sauna is already calling your name. Living and working here might actually feel like a vacation.

“Miss Y/N! Look what I found!” Izzy runs up to you when you and Harry step out to the backyard, holding her pointing finger up. A ladybug is wandering around her tiny finger, not even bothering with the amazed girl that’s inspecting it.

“Wow! How many dots do you see on it?” you ask and she knits her eyebrows together, counting the black dots.

“Five!”

“Yes, good job!” you ruffle her curls as she smiles up at you proudly. She really is an angel, you’ve grown to like her a lot and you would be lying if you said you didn’t get emotional over thinking about never seeing her again. Being able to take care of her and give her the best possible childhood would be such a dream and the chance to do that is right in front of you.

“I’ll be waiting for your call, Y/N,” Harry smiles at you walking you towards the front door.

“Harry, I don’t think you need to do that,” you speak up and see his face fall, he obviously took it the wrong way, thinking that you want to say no to his offer.

“Oh…”

“It’s not that,” you chuckle softly. “I would love to take the job. And if you’re still okay with that, I’d like to move in, it would make everything just so much easier.”

You watch as his expression changes from disappointed to hopeful as he cracks a smile nodding.

“Yeah, the offer is still there. When do you think you can start?”

“How soon do you want to pull Izzy out of daycare?”

“As soon as possible. If I have to I can go in on Monday and do all the paperwork. You could move in sometime during the week maybe?”

“I have to talk to my landlord about my lease, but I’m fine with moving in during the week,” you nod smiling and you can’t help but feel excited.

“That would be wonderful. Thank you so much. I’m looking forward to working with you.”

You discuss a few more details and then you head out, thinking about how the next time you’ll be coming here, you’ll be moving in.

“If this one doesn’t go to the donate box, I’m leaving right now.”

Heather holds up a pair of denim shorts, painted in the colors of the flag of the States. She holds it pinched between her index finger and thumb as if it was something nasty and disgusting

“You know I only bought that for that stupid frat party. I never wore that anywhere else, so you can put it into the donate box.”

“Thank God!” she groans and throws the shorts into said box.

It’s Sunday evening and your place looks like a warzone, boxes taking up the place everywhere as you’re packing your life up to officially move into the Styles mansion. You agreed with Harry to bring over a good chunk of your stuff on Monday and then settle in for real on Tuesday. He is pulling Izzy out of daycare first thing on Monday and you’d stay at home with her for the first time on Wednesday. It’s been a fast paced change, but you couldn’t care less. With the amount Harry is gonna pay you, you’ll be able to save up a good chunk every month, like you always wanted to.

As you finish putting your books away you reach the shelves that contain all your photo albums. Photography has been your passion for a long time. It started as a simple hobby sometime through your freshman year in high school, but in senior year, your photos filled the yearbook and you even did the design of it too. You’ve had a few gigs since then, some weddings and pregnancy shoots and you like to sell your photos individually as well. You wouldn’t have imagined how much a simple nature photo costs.

Flipping through the one on the top, you can’t help the bitter smile on your face as you see the photos from your brother’s 14th birthday three years ago. There are tons of family pictures with you, your brother Trevor and your parents, seemingly being all happy and joyful. Things were different back then and you didn’t see anything coming.

It’s past midnight by the time you more or less finish packing, you’ve filled three big boxes with things to donate so you have significantly less stuff to move to the Styles mansion in the morning. Heather spends the night, but leaves early in the morning since she needs to go to work. The moving van you rented out arrives a little after eleven and the two guys from the moving company helps you load it with about two thirds of your stuff. Harry is at work when you arrive and Izzy is still at the daycare, Ruth is the only one at home, she helps you out even though you tell her not to break a sweat over it.

“Let me help, makes me feel needed,” she chuckles sweetly when you try to get her to stop, but she insists on bringing in some smaller bags and boxes.

You’re still unpacking when Ruth arrives back with Izzy a little after four. You hear her little feet tapping against the floor as she runs down the hallway, bursting into your future room.

“Miss Y/N! You’re here!” she cheers, throwing herself into your arms as you sit on the floor, being the perfect level for the little girl.

“I am! How was your day, little Sunshine?”

“We finger painted and I made a painting for daddy, do you want to see it?”

“Of course!”

Izzy disappears to get her backpack from Ruth who is making her some snacks in the kitchen. She soon returns with her painting, presenting it to you proudly.

“Look! This is me and this is daddy!” she points at the two human-like figures, the only thing giving away who is who is that one of them is bigger than the other one. “And then this is mommy!” she then adds, pointing at a star in the upper corner of the painting and you freeze.

In the midst of everything, you didn’t even have the time to question why Harry is a single parent. To be honest your first guess would have been divorce, but Izzy’s painting is telling you something a lot more tragic.

“It’s beautiful,” you smile at her, trying to hide your surprise at the new information. “I’m sure he’ll love it.”

Ruth makes sure Izzy is busy while you finish up unpacking and when you’re about to be done, Harry arrives home. Approaching your room even though the door is open he knocks on the doorframe, catching your attention.

“Hello, just wanted to see how things are going. Do you need help with anything? I’m sorry I couldn’t be here to help with the boxes and all…”

“Hi! Oh don’t worry about that, I had plenty of help,” you shrug smiling. “Everything is going fine, thank you.”

“Great. I did all the paperwork today, tomorrow is going to be Izzy’s last day at daycare. You’re still up to start on Wednesday, right?”

“Yeah, of course. I only have a few things left at home so I’ll be all set by tomorrow.”

“Thank you so much,” he smiles warmly. “And thank you for being so quick about everything. It means a lot to me that I can spend more time with Izzy thanks to you. I really appreciate it.”

“I should be thanking you the opportunity. I wasn’t really drowning in the job offers,” you chuckle making him smile as well. “Please let me know if you want me to change anything, I have a plan I would like to go around with Izzy’s days, but of course, your word is the most important.”

“I trust you to take good care of her during the day. The only thing I want is to have her home when I get home. Ruth couldn’t always pick her up before and I really hated to do the extra trip and pick her up from daycare instead of coming straight home to be with her.”

“Understandable. I’ll make sure to plan accordingly,” you nod smiling.

“Y/N, I want you to feel home as much as possible. This is your place just as much as it is ours now. Izzy and I go grocery shopping every Sunday, it’s kind of a father-daughter thing we do every week. We keep a list on the fridge, feel free to add whatever you need and we’ll get it.”

You can’t help the smile that stretches across your lips, because this is such a sweet thing to do, when Harry could easily afford someone to do the work for him. Yet he still uses this time to be with his daughter.

“Yeah, sure, thank you!”

“I’ll get out of your hair now. Would you like to stay for dinner?”

“Oh, no, but thank you. I still have some things to take care of before tomorrow.”

“Alright,” he nods before walking out. He leaves you thinking hard about him. You wonder what really happened to Izzy’s mom and if he is dating someone right now. A man like him is basically a dream to any woman, you doubt he is having a hard time finding a partner, but you haven’t seen any sign of another woman around the house. Guess you’ll have to wait and figure it out yourself.

The apartment is awfully empty on your last night here. When you moved in about a year ago you didn’t think you’d be moving into a mansion from here. You spend the evening cleaning out a bit so you leave the place in good condition. Your landlord was terribly nice about your early leave, you could easily agree that you’d pay for the two more weeks that’s left from the month and that would be all, no extra costs for moving out before your lease was up.

You’re cleaning off the kitchen counter when your phone starts ringing, it’s a video call from your brother.

“Hey there! What’s up?” you ask, propping up the phone on top of the microwave while you move around, doing your thing. Trevor seems to be lying in bed, a black hoodie covering his upper body.

“Hello, just wanted to see how the moving has gone today.”

Despite the ten year age gap between you and Trevor, your relationship couldn’t be better. Probably because you were old enough to see what a blessing a sibling really is when he was born.

“Everything went smoothly. I only have a few stuff to bring over, that can fit into my car tomorrow, so it’s fine.”

“Cool. How is the dude? What was his name again?”

“Harry. Harry Styles.” You see him pull his laptop to his lap and probably searches up Harry’s name before his eyes widen at the screen.

“This dude is big! He is the president of HES Records, they run some of the most popular singers these days.”

“Yeah? I was sure he is a big name judging from his mansion,” you chuckle.

“Have you looked him up yet?”

“Not really.” “Want me to read what’s here about him?”

“Sure,” you hum, continuing to clean while you listen to Trevor.

“Alright. Apparently he is thirty-one, took over the record company when he was just twenty-five because his father wanted to retire early. The number of talents working under the label has doubled since he has taken over and many of his clients have won Grammy Awards. Impressive,” he hums, scrolling down on whatever site he has just found. “He is known to be a private person, the last time he made an appearance… Oh shit…” Trevor breathes out and you turn to your phone with furrowed eyebrows.

“What?”

“Wow, this shit is heavy. It says the last time he made a public appearance was in 2017, not long before his wife was killed in a car accident.”

You freeze, feeling your stomach drop to the floor, immediately thinking back at Izzy’s painting of her family. It very much makes sense why she said the star was her mother, it must be the way Harry explained to her what happened to her mother.

“It happened in 2018, she wasn’t in the fault, a drunk driver ignored the red light and ran into her car at a crossroad. This is terrible, oh God.”

“Poor Izzy, she probably doesn’t even know what really happened.”

“Must have been hard on him, there’s not much about him since then.”

“Can’t blame him for not wanting to be in the spotlight after losing his wife.”

“Yeah.”

Trevor shows you a few pictures of him from years ago, he has always been handsome, but your favorites are the few from the times when he had long hair. He looked so different, like a whole other person, but still, he rocked it perfectly.

Then you show Trevor around in the empty apartment before loving to the couch, turning all your attention to him.

“How have things been?” you ask with a sigh. Trevor purses his lips and shrugs.

“Other than the constant screaming matches on the phone and endless fights every time dad comes over for more of his stuff? Everything is rainbows and butterflies.”

“Is it really that bad?” you scowl.

“It’s like they never run out of stuff to throw at each other, but I feel like this much couldn’t happen even in their twenty-eight years together,” he scoffs making you chuckle.

“I’m sorry you’re stuck in the middle of all that.”

“It’s like payback,” he hums and you give him a puzzled look. “You had it bad growing up for being the surprise baby, making them teen parents. Then I came at a reasonable time, they already knew the drill, but now that you’re out of the house I’m getting all the shit, having to deal with their divorce.”

“I’m really sorry, Trev,” you sigh, feeling guilty that he is all alone at home.

“It’s fine, I don’t blame you,” he shrugs. “But you could make it better if you asked your millionaire boss if I could hang out at his house sometimes.” He grins at you slyly and you roll your eyes. Of course he is already thinking about using you for his own good!

“I don’t want to push the boundaries just yet, but I’ll see what I can do.”

You talk a little more about school and what he’s been up to with his friends before ending the call. You take a shower and go to bed right away, feeling extremely worn out from all the packing you’ve done through the day.

The next day you pack the remainder of your stuff into your car and then your landlord comes over to do a checkup, though he fully trusts you took good care of the place.

“Again, thank you for your understanding, I didn’t plan to leave so early, but it just kinda came up,” you tell him, handing him over your keys.

“Don’t worry about it. I hope your new place will treat you right,” he smiles kindly at you.

You chat a little longer before you leave and head over to your new home. Once again, Ruth is the only one home and being the angel that she is, she helps you to carry your stuff up from the car before leaving to get Izzy from daycare. Since there’s not much left to unpack you finish quite fast, leaving you some extra time alone in the house. Walking around you try to learn your way around, still finding it a bit of a maze. You find Harry’s home office’s door open and after a bit of hesitation you step inside, just taking a look around. Yeah, it’s kind of a nosy thing to do, but you couldn’t help yourself.

His space is quite clear, he keeps his stuff neatly organized. Certificates and plaques are hung up on the wall, showing off his many successes in the business. There’s a huge bookcase near his desk and there you see some family photos… ones that include his late wife as well.

She was beautiful. There’s a picture of the three of them in the hospital from the day Izzy was born, Harry has an arm around his wife’s shoulders who is holding baby Izzy, both of them radiating happiness as they just become parents. Your heart breaks when you see the photo next to it, it’s just Harry and her in Paris, the Eiffel tower standing tall behind them as they are grinning widely at each other, foreheads touching. Harry has his arms wrapped around her slim figure while she is hugging his neck. They look so happy and in love, like they were always meant to be with each other. Knowing what tragedy hit them is just hard to process even for you, who never even met the woman.

You hear the front door open and Izzy is laughing at something, so you rush out before anyone could catch you snooping around.

“Hi Miss Y/N!” she chirps upon seeing you when you meet them in the living room.

“Izzy, you don’t have to call me Miss Y/N, Y/N is perfectly fine,” you smile at her, caressing her rosy cheeks.

“Okay. Ruth, can I please have some ice-cream?”

“I’m afraid we ran out of ice-cream, but I’ll put it on your grocery list,” Ruth tells her, a pout tugging on Izzy’s lips.

“How about this: I’m gonna make a delicious smoothie, that’s almost like melted ice-cream, would you like some?” you offer and her eyes brighten up immediately, nodding right away.

While Ruth puts away Izzy’s things they brought home from daycare, while the two of you move to the kitchen to make the smoothie together. You find some frozen berries in the freezer and pair them with bananas, putting them all into the blender with oatmilk, blending it all together.

“How is it?” you ask Izzy, who is sitting on top of the counter, tasting the pink smoothie that leaves a cute little mustache above her cherry lips.

“I like it!” she smiles, scrunching her nose.

“We can make it some other time then,” you smile, drinking up your portion.

Izzy is dancing around the kitchen, babbling about her last day at daycare while you clean the glasses and the blender when Harry arrives. He is wearing a baby blue suit with a crispy dress shirt underneath, looking fashionable but still business appropriate at the same time.

“Daddy!” Izzy launches towards her daddy, who catches her, throwing her into the air before holding her in his arms, joining you in the kitchen.

“Hey baby. How was your day?”

“Good, all my friends hugged me but I told them we would meet in the park.”

“That’s right, and I have the number of all your friends’ parents, we can have playdates with them whenever you want to,” he smiles before his eyes meet yours. “Hi Y/N, everything went well with the rest of your moving?”

“Yeah, I’m all set,” you smile back at him.

“That’s great. I have a few calls to make, but I’ll be done in thirty probably. Would you mind looking out for Izzy in the meanwhile?”

“Of course. She promised me to take me around her room, so we could do that, what do you say?” you ask the little girl who nods in excitement.

Harry disappears in his office and Izzy pulls you to her room, showing you just about every toy she owns. Her room is a typical girl’s room, the walls are painted a light pink color, her bedframe resembles a castle and she has a dollhouse as big as your previous bathroom. Harry clearly spoils her rotten, but what you noticed is that she is not one of those annoying bratty only children who can’t take no. She was clearly taught how to behave and always listen to the adults.

While Izzy is putting her stuffed animals away after introducing you to all of them, you spot a photo frame near her bed, decorated with macaroni. You remember when you all did that together at daycare and now you get to see the photo that ended up behind the glass.

It’s a photo of Izzy and her mother, she was just a baby and doing quick math in your head you realize it must have been not long before her accident, might even be the last picture taken of the two of them. Her mom is smiling at the camera while Izzy is sleeping in her arms peacefully. Izzy looked a lot like her when she was a baby, the bridge of her nose and her lips resembled her mother’s, though now she appears to take more after her dad with her chocolate curls and piercing green eyes.

“That’s my mommy,” she tells you when she sees you looking at the photo.

“It’s a nice picture,” you smile at her, trying your best to hide how heartbroken you feel even just looking at the photo.

“Daddy said she had to go up to the sky, but she is watching me from there,” she explains, clearly not entirely sure what it means, but you can tell she misses her. “Daddy said she is living between the stars now and that she loves me very much.” You need to fight your tears back at her words.

“I’m sure of that too,” you breathe out smiling at her.

“Izzy, do you want to help me make dinner?” Harry walks in smiling, though it disappears for a moment when he sees the two of you looking at the photo of his wife, but he is quick to control himself.

“Yes! What are we making?” she runs over to him, jumping up and down.

“Uh, chicken and veggies.”

You step away from the photo, pretending like nothing just happened. You’re dying to discuss it with Harry, hear him talk about it, but you won’t push him. If he wants to share it, he’ll come to you.

“Alright, come on then,” he smiles down at her. “Thank you for watching her, I’ll take over from here. Food will be ready in about an hour, Ruth is staying with us as well,” he informs you.

“Great, I’ll… I’ll be in my room,” you nod.

The first two weeks on the job brush past smoothly. It takes you some time to get used to your new home, but taking care of Izzy doesn’t feel like work, so you’re feeling amazing in your new job. You easily fall into a schedule with her.

The mornings are always Harry’s duty. He wakes her up around seven-thirty, makes her breakfast and dresses her for the day before he leaves around nine. Thanks to this habit of his, you’re able to sleep in until eight, leaving you plenty of time to get ready for your day with Izzy before Harry has to leave. Depending on the weather, the two of you then either take over the back yard or move to her room for some play time before her class of the day starts in the noon. Piano with Rosaline on Mondays and Wednesdays, French lesson with Lyon on Tuesdays and Fridays and then Izzy’s favorite on Thursdays, swimming class with Kitty.

Izzy loves to help in the kitchen so you usually make lunch together. Once her tummy is full she takes a nap before you sit down to learn something new every day. You’ve been teaching her the numbers and the alphabet, or some days you just talk about anything that interests her and learn at least two things she hasn’t know yet, all through games so she doesn’t even realize what you’re doing. You’re usually done by around three, leaving you time to take a visit to the park, if Harry is not planning to take her himself later that day.

You’re strictly home by four, unless it’s Tuesday when she has her dance class until five. Those days you drive her to her class, run some quick errands and pick her up. Harry usually uses his extra time in the office on these days, but he is always home by six to have dinner together with his daughter.

Once Harry is home you’re off duty, though you like to stay close, not just in case something comes up for Harry, but because you genuinely like spending time with Izzy and Harry, seeing them interacting.

Harry sometimes has to work on Saturdays as well, but just as he promised Ruth is always here to take over duty on those days, leaving you free for the whole weekend. It’s been working perfectly for you and those very few concerns you had about moving in dissolve quite fast as soon as you start working.

Though it’s been pretty clear to you before, you now one hundred percent sure that Harry is living for his daughter. She is always a priority, he doesn’t hesitate to decline any work calls he gets in the evenings if Izzy needs him, if she is a little fussy and wants her daddy’s attention or when they are in the middle of a game. He is clearly trying to keep a balance between his work and role as a father and from what you’ve seen, it seems like he is doing an amazing job in that. However you haven’t learned much else about him. He is all friendly towards you, but makes sure to keep it business casual, not quite keen on getting to know each other better as just friends, maybe.

A Friday afternoon you’re having a little tea party in the backyard with Izzy when Harry arrives home, but this time, he is not alone. Through the sliding door you spot him with a blonde guy who is talking very articulately as Harry is typing on his phone. The man looks about Harry’s age, but you can’t tell if he is a friend or a business partner, but if Harry brought him home, he is more likely to be a friend of his.

“Uncle Niall!” Izzy gasps when he spots the man through the glass and abandoning the tea party, she starts running towards the door. The man spots her and slides the door open grinning widely before she jumps into his arms.

“Little bugger! How are ya?” the man laughs, holding Izzy in a tight hug before leaning back to take a good look at her. You notice his thick Irish accent and it suits his appearance quite well. You head inside as well, in case Harry needs Izzy busy for a little longer, though he doesn’t mind having her around, kissing the top of her head before finishing up whatever he was doing on his phone, watching Niall and Izzy smiling.

“I’m having a tea party with Y/N, wanna join?” Izzy invites the man, who then looks at you for the first time, smiling widely.

“Hi, I’m Y/N, Izzy’s new nanny,” you introduce yourself, holding out a hand that he shakes, keeping Izzy in his other arm without a problem.

“Nice to meet ya, I’m Niall.”

“Y/N, Niall is an old friend of mine. He is joining us for dinner, hope you don’t mind,” Harry informs you and you find it funny how he is kind of asking for your approval when it’s his house.

“Not at all.”

“Harry has told me he hired a pair of new hands to help, but he didn’t mention it’s a stunning young woman!” Niall beams, making you blush right away.

“Ni, I would appreciate it if you didn’t try to pick up my daughter’s new nanny,” Harry warns him lightly, though there’s some firmness in his tone, not that it scares Niall in any way, he even winks at you.

“Oh come on, you can’t expect me not to flirt when you surround yourself with so many pretty women! First Ruth and now Y/N!”

You smile at him, something is telling you he wasn’t joking and he tried to flirt with Ruth as well. Harry just rolls his eyes at his friend, taking Izzy from him.

“Keep it in your pants, Niall,” Harry tells him and though it’s nothing vulgar, it catches Izzy’s attention.

“What should he keep in his pants?” she questions, making your and Harry’s eyes grow big right away. Luckily, Niall keeps his cool and takes care of the situation.

“My attitude, Sweetie. Your daddy is just jealous because I’m more handsome than he is,” he smirks at the little girl, successfully avoiding an awkward conversation about what it is that Niall should keep in his pants.

You smile at his reply, even though you are not that sure about the comparison he just made between himself and Harry.

“Izzy, do you want to continue the tea party?” you ask her and even though just a minute ago she was inviting Niall to join her, now she shakes her head no. “Alright, I’ll pack it up then.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. We’ll do it, right Izzy? She brought it all out, she is going to be the one packing it up,” Harry reminds her and she nods.

The two of them move outside to put her little tea set back into the basket she keeps it in, leaving you and Niall alone.

“So Y/N, how did you end up here?”

“I was working at Izzy’s daycare, but they sent me away not long ago. Then Harry contacted me and offered the job which was a lifesaver, truly.”

“That’s great! Well, not that you got fired, but that you ended up here. I know it means a lot for Harry that he can spend more time with Izzy, you’re making everything a lot easier for him.” Niall walks over into the kitchen and grabs a water for himself as he leans against the counter. “I can see that he is a lot more relaxed now already.”

“Really?” you ask, surprised.

“Yeah. I know he always used to stress about picking Izzy up, or forgetting something the daycare asked for. Now he can make it all work just how he wants to, that fits him a lot more. It hasn’t been easy on him since Maggie’s death.”

This is the first time you hear anyone talk about Harry’s wife and now you just learned her name. Maggie.

“Being a single parents is never easy,” you add with a soft smile, not wanting to interrogate Niall about Maggie. It’s Harry’s place to tell you about her, if he wants to, of course.

Soon enough Izzy and Harry take over the kitchen, Niall helping them this time and you leave them alone, taking some time for yourself in your room. Later you go out to check if there’s anything you could help with, Harry asks you to set the table as he finishes up the cooking.

“So, Y/N. Tell me a little bit about yourself!” Niall asks you over dinner.

“Um, what do you want to know?” you ask, feeling a little flustered to be in the spotlight.

“I don’t know, family, friends, hobbies?”

“Well, I have a younger brother, Trevor. He is seventeen and already taller than me.”

“Oh, that seems like a big age gap.”

“Ten years, to be exact,” you nod. “He was planned, I wasn’t,” you add with a soft chuckle. “But we have a great relationship, so it’s all good. We talk almost every day.”

“I’m sure you’ll get well along with Gemma then!” Niall beams, glancing at Harry.

“Gemma is my sister,” Harry explains. “Though she is not that much older than me.”

“But you can bond over being stuck with a younger brother who outgrew you,” Niall jokes making all three of you laugh.

All through dinner you realize how different Niall is from Harry, but in a good way. While Harry is more quiet and calm, Niall is kind of all over the place, buzzing and chatting every chance he got, but the two of them make a great pair, bringing what the other doesn’t have to the table.

After dinner you attempt to leave them again, but Niall makes you stay as they open a glass of wine. Harry puts on a movie for Izzy to keep her busy, giving the three of you a chance to sit out at the terrace from where you still can keep an eye on the little girl inside.

“Alright, Y/N. When are we going on our first date then?” Niall asks out of the blue, a cocky smile tugging on his lips.

“Niall, for fuck’s sake,” Harry breathes out as you let out an awkward chuckle.

“What? I think there’s some electricity going on between us.”

“I, uhh—I don’t…”

“Please don’t turn me down!” he sighs dramatically, making you smile.

“You’ve been great company, but I’m not sure we should go out,” you tell him. He huffs in disappointment, but it’s clear he didn’t take it to his heart.

“Is it because you’re taken? I didn’t even ask, are you dating anyone? You can’t be engaged, because I don’t see any rings,” he points out, nodding towards your naked fingers, however his words make you suck on your breath.

“I’m not engaged. Not anymore,” you admit and you watch their eyes go wide at the information.

“Wait, you’ve been engaged before?” Harry asks, clearly surprised, if not shocked.

“Yeah. For about four months,” you nod, running your tongue over your lips as you reach for your wine, taking a few large gulps.

“And what did the fucker do?” Niall bluntly questions, earning a look from Harry. “What? I’m just curious what twat it takes to lose a woman like her!”

“Maybe she doesn’t want to talk about that,” Harry presses, but you shrug.

“It’s not a secret. We dated for about two years before he proposed. I said yes, started planning the wedding and everything, then found out that he had been cheating on me with his assistant for about a year. We broke up, simple as that. It’s in the past, happened a year ago.”

“That’s some next level asshole bullshit,” Niall shakes his head while Harry is just staring at you with an unreadable look before he turns his attention at his glass, still clearly deep in his thoughts and you wonder what he thinks of you now. Here is the loser who not only got cheated on, but lost her job, all of that just in one year.

Harry doesn’t react, and a moment later Izzy comes out because she is thirsty, so daddy duties call him away. Niall stays a little, but heads home soon as well.

“It was nice meeting you, Y/N. The date still stands though,” he smirks when he pulls back from the short hug he enveloped you in.

“Alright,” you chuckle, slowly getting used to his flirty act.

You was the wine glasses and head back to your room while Harry walks Niall out and then takes Izzy upstairs to give her a bath. You don’t cross paths until later when you leave your room, already in your pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt to grab some water for yourself and he walks out of Izzy’s room just then, probably done with putting her to sleep.

“I’m sorry if Niall made you uncomfortable, he didn’t mean to be rude or anything,” he apologizes as the two of you walk together.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” you chuckle softly. “It was kind of a boost to my ego, if I’m being honest.”

Harry huffs with a smile and stops at the kitchen island, his fingers tapping on his lips as you grab yourself a bottled water.

“I’m… I’m sorry about… about what you told us earlier.”

Closing the fridge you look at him, seeing that he is kind of hesitant, like he is not sure he should have spoken up, but you appreciate the thought.

“It’s alright. Just water under the bridge,” you shrug.

“I just feel bad you had to go through that.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” you chuckle softly. “It sucked, yeah. I really thought I would live happily ever after with Keith, but instead I got a lesson.”

“A lesson?”

“When we broke up I was obviously on the floor, both literal and theoretical way. I thought it was my fault, that I did something wrong and that’s why he did what he did. I even thought that I’m not worthy of being loved and being in love again. Took me time to realize that no matter what happened, I still deserve to be happy and to find someone to love and who can love me back.”

It appears that your words touch him deep, staring back at you, he just nods shortly, not replying to anything you just said. You’re not sure he is so silent because he doesn’t really understand what you just talked about or if it hit too close to home. Whatever it is, he keeps it to himself.

“Good night, Harry,” you smile at him before walking out of the kitchen and up into your room.

You’re lying in bed already when you hear him open his room’s door and then close it and suddenly he is all you can think about. The way his eyes sometimes pierce down on you, the way he taps his fingers against his lips when he is thinking hard or the proud smile that always plasters across his face whenever he is watching Izzy do basically anything. But you do see some pain in those beautiful green eyes of his and your desire to take just the smallest fracture of it away grows, even though he is not showing any sign that he is willing to share it with you.

The next morning, despite having the day off, you wake up quite early. You toss and turn, try to fall back asleep a little longer, but you just can’t. It’s a nice, warm morning and you decide to take advantage of the little balcony attached to your room. Wrapping yourself in your fluffy robe you grab the book you started reading a few days ago and sit out, enjoying the morning Sun that’s shining right at you on the balcony.

You don’t even realize for a while that you’re not the only early riser. When your eyes wander down to the big oak tree that’s near Izzy’s playground, you spot Harry doing what appears to be yoga on a green mattress, wearing nothing else, just a pair of black shorts. No shirt.

For a moment you think about going inside, feeling like you’re invading his privacy in a way, but you have the right to enjoy the morning Sun on your balcony, it’s not your fault he decided to have yoga at the exact same time. And it’s just hard not to look at his shirtless body stretching in all directions, twisting and turning as he goes through the motions, his tattooed body on full display.

It’s been clear since the moment you laid eyes on him for the first time that Harry is probably the most beautiful man you’ve ever met and that includes all your exes. Paired with his kind of mysterious charisma and the way he takes care of his daughter, he is the whole package, but you have been busy with Izzy to dwell too long on how attractive he really is. But right now, you are not working and he is very much shirtless in the backyard, teasing you with thoughts you definitely shouldn’t be thinking about when it comes to your boss.

A shaky breath leaves your mouth as you let yourself watch him just for a few more minutes before heading back inside, not wanting to get busted for being a stalker and also not wanting to see him in more positions and have even more unholy thoughts about him.

But what you don’t know is that just as you step inside, Harry catches your figure disappearing in your room, knowing well you saw him too.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

-

taglist

Let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the list!

@mariamuses​ @pastequeharry​ @f-vasquezp​ @jgtfvhsg​ @trulymadlykiki​ @bookwormandtea​ @sltwins​

[smellslikemultifandomimagines]

I have a request for a smut for Mitch Rapp and a fem!reader: basically enemies to lovers. They (think they) hate each other but in reality they just REALLY wanna shag each other (Stan kinda suspects it). The seggssual tension between them grew to the point where neither can take it anymore and they shag! That's it for the plot. Feel free to make it the filthiest piece of filth that has ever seen the filth of day. They can punch the other, kick the other, pull the others hair! I am a okay with either of them getting staped. Biting and scratching are on the table. They can use fire... I hope you can turn this to a smut for me. I really enjoy reading your smuts!

also:

pairing: mitch rapp x fem!reader

warnings: smut → seggsual tension that can be cut with a knife, oral (male receiving), degrading kink, rough penetrative sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it).

word count: 1.4k

a/n: ahh omg i love the b9-9 reference!!

+ i've added this other request here too bc they had the same vibe to it - hope that's okay anon!

++ also [y/l/n] means your last name (but i think we've all read fanfics long enough to know that lmao)

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:• ☾ ☼ ☽ •:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

requests for the sleepover are open🖤!

request guidelines here✨!

smut night masterlist

🌻masterlist🌻

taking in Mitch’s attire for the first time that night, it was apparent to you that Mitch was quite the attractive man.

But Mitch rapp was anything but attractive. He was repulsive. Rude. Had nearly gotten you killed so many times on a mission due to his inability to stick to plans, especially if they were made by you.

His tie hangs lose around the white collared button down shirt. His blazer thrown onto the couch that he planned to sleep on. Stan suggested that you share a room, never knowing nor predicting when the bad guys could attack. It was better, and safer, for the two of you to stay together.

Slipping the tie from around his neck, he throws it to wear his blazer lays, his eyes darting up to you. You, sitting cross-legged on the bed, quickly averted eye contact. You hear a slight huff of amusement coming from him, which only makes you roll your eyes. God, what you would do to share a room with literally anyone but him.

Your pj shirt hung low on your chest - almost a little bit too low. Mitch, for only a second, glances at your cleavage. His mind wanders into places he’s never really though that hard about before. He wanders what it would be like to suck those perfect tits of yours. If it wasn’t for the tv, he would’ve made an awkward coughing sound to release some of the built up tension in the room. You can feel the tension too. Building and building. The room getting hotter with each breath you took. You stand from the bed, going over to the small tea station to turn on the kettle.

“Want some tea?” You ask, not daring to look at him. For some unknown reason, you’re afraid to.

“sit.” He demands, his eyes glaring into you with such intensity. You return the glare, clenching your jaw as he nods to the bed.

“Why?”

“We need to talk about what happened today-"

“We have nothing to talk about. You did your usual shit and I did mine.”

“Don’t speak to me like that.”

“Like what? At least I’m not the one trying to get us all killed,” you spat, folding your arms over your chest. Mitch stalks over to you, his eyes dark with lust.

“Say that again. I dare you,” his voice is so low, you’re not sure if it scares you or turns you on.

“You always try to get us killed. That’s why your plans never work." you try so hard not to falter your voice, but he’s making it so difficult when he’s standing in front of you, with such a dominant demeanour, you thought you might as well submit to him now. He knocks your legs apart with his knee.

“Same could be said about you. Just remember that,” he growls in your ear. Without thinking, you grab him by the collar and thrash him down on the bed beside you. You stable him, pinning his wrists beside his head.

“Now, miss feisty. Might want to save your energy for tomorrow,” he chuckles, not even the least surprised that you’ve just done that.

“Don’t patronise me, rapp. You’re lucky I don’t just kill you now,” you purr in his ear, feeling his hips knock against yours. The feeling of his hardening cock poking at your thigh is something you’d never thought you’d ever get to experience with him.

Mitch flips you over, you know the grip on your wrist is going to bruise. "don't forget that i'm just as capable, darling."

roughly, he pushes off you, unzipping the pants of his suit. His jaw clenched, skin so hot and heated you can see the veins protruding through his hands.

"suck." he demands through gritted teeth. Your jaw drops as you just stare at him. he couldn't be serious? His eyebrows raise in anticipation - the same look he gives our targets when they try and plead their case to let them live.

You sigh, pushing yourself off the bed and onto the floor. Your hand pumps his cock up and down slowly, wanting to test the waters a little bit - or so you told yourself.

"[y/n], dont." he spits out, roughly gripping your hair in a makeshift ponytail. Without needing to be told twice, you take him in your mouth, gagging as he thrusts into your mouth. he couldn't even for a second let you be in control. typical man.

You bob your head faster, moaning around him at the tight grip he still has in your hair.

"you like when im rough with you, huh? you dirty little slut." His jaw clenches as you clasp your hand around his wrist. "get up."

you do as you're told, and stand on your feet. Roughly and hasty, he practically rips your pjs off before pushing you on the bed.

"don't make me get the tie, [y/l/n]," he smirks as he hovers over you. You gulp and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down into a rough kiss. He may be on top, but you can still be in charge.

HIs hand snakes down between your bodies, teasing and toying at your clit. He pinches it gently, clenching his jaw to restrain a dark laugh as you breathe heavily against him, not wanting to make a sound. you were not about to give him that satisfaction.

his calloused fingertips circle heavenly around your clit. He wants you to at least let out one moan, and he was going to make you do it - whatever it takes.

He leans back, eyes burning into your soul as he watches you. You bite your tongue from within your mouth, restraining every ounce of your body to not contort in pleasure.

"i could make this easy for you, you know. you're choice," he arches an eyebrow in amusement, his finger slipping into your entrance with such ease.

"oh please," you scoff, rolling your eyes in annoyance - although you're sure it was from the pleasure rather than his haughtiness.

"fine," he practically rips his hand away, you bottom lip immediately receding into your teeth to control the whines that wanted to come out. He wasted no time in lining himself up at your entrance. You look at him with pleading eyes, to which he catches before he slides in.

His thrusts are slow at first, wanting to tease you as much as possible.

"oh come on. even i can do better than that," you challenge, pushing him off before straddling his hips. You sink down on him, his hands on your ass. He kneads them before slapping hard as you bottom out. An unexpected yelp slips from you, followed a dark chuckle comes from him.

You bounce roughly on him, leaning back on your hands as they rest on his thighs. His hands trail all over your body, wanting to explore very inch possible. He'd never admit it, to himself or especially you, but he's always wanted to do this. So of course, he's not wasting any opportunity. as far as you've both silently agreed, this is a one time thing.

Mitch slaps your breast, causing another yelp to escape from your swollen and desperate lips. You sink all the way down on his cock until he's completely inside you, before gyrating your hips. Both of you moan loudly, the pleasure feeling all too right to not let out a sound.

Roughly, mitch picks you up and places you on the bed next to him before he holds your legs up to his chest. He thrusts into you and fucks you hard - slow, but hard.

"fuck, oh my god," you give in to the pleasure, his cock feeling all too good not to.

"see, that wasn't so hard was it?" Mitch's malicious teasing causes you to roll your eyes but once again let out a moan. the wall takes it from the bedframe, thumping intensively with each hard thrust of his hips. Both of you couldn't control your moans, and it was only a matter of time before the next door guests came knocking on the door to complain.

The two of you are close - much closer than either of you liked to be. Mitch knew it too, from the way you clenched around his cock, you moans becoming louder and more high-pitched. He spreads your legs apart, which you gracelessly wrapped around his waist to draw him in closer. His hand, once again slips between you both and rubs your clit in circles.

"mitch..." you breathe, scratching your nails mercilessly down his back.

"let it go, babygirl," he grunts before leaning down towards you ear. "at least i'll have the satisfaction of making you cum."

"don't get too cocky now. I'm still not finished with you yet."

[padsnprongs]

wolfstar headcanons that ✨just make sense✨

french sirius and welsh remus

they would speak to each other in their different languages all the time, mostly just to mess with each other.

they’d also say really romantic things, but in their different language, so the other wouldn’t know

remus is like insanely tall, but always slouches, whereas sirius is literally a dwarf but stands up really tall (talk about that ✨aristocracy✨ you know)

when remus had his growth spurt in the summer of fifth year, sirius was, understandably, shocked

but also maybe a little annoyed

how was he supposed to kiss him now?

in the end he decided to just grab his tie and pull him down

which remus didn't particularly mind

remus keeps his hair short, because it gets in the way. sirius loves remus' hair, because of how curly it is - remus hates it for the same reason

'I look like an idiot, pads!'

'no, you look cute.'

after sirius started living with the potters', his hair grew long, finally free of the strict rules of grimmauld place

when remus saw his long hair for the first time, on the train platform, he fell in love with him a little more

sirius turns into padfoot on the days surrounding the full moon to comfort remus. he’s literally like a therapy dog at this point.

sirius’ bed hasn’t been slept in since fifth year

cuddles

so many cuddles

lots of pda, much to james’ disgust

‘ugh, you guys, get a room!’

‘prongsie stop being homophobic.’

‘im not- what am i even supposed to say to that??’

‘nothing, that’s the point.’

sirius has a tattoo of the full moon that changes with the moon phases and remus has a tattoo of the canis major constellation - while the rest are just inked on, the sirius star seems to be actually glowing.

remus always seems to lose his jumpers, even though they’re some of his most valued items of clothing. he will eventually find sirius wearing them, but he can’t even be mad because sirius just looks so adorable in them.

remus, in return, will steal sirius’ leather jacket, which sirius doesn’t particularly mind. james, however, gets especially mad whenever this happens

‘well how come he’s allowed to wear it and I’m not? I’m literally your brother!’

sirius rests his head on remus’ lap whilst remus reads to him, and remus will stroke his hand through sirius' hair

remus loves to french plait his hair, and sirius is adamant about leaving the plait in for as long as possible

‘sirius, it’s been three days, you need to wash your hair! I can always re-plait it!’

‘...fine. but only if you promise.’

remus is constantly freezing cold, which shows through the countless jumpers and scarves he will pile on, even in the height of summer

his feet alone are like blocks of ice, which sirius never misses an opportunity to complain about whenever they share a bed

sirius, on the other hand, is a human sauna, and will still be wearing shorts in the middle of winter

when they cuddle, their contrasting levels of body heat cancel each other out perfectly

basically, whenever remus gets too cold, or sirius gets too hot, you’ll undoubtedly find them clinging to each other

sirius always gets really worried after the full moon, and insists on looking after remus - he makes sure he has enough pillows, sneaks him food because the hospital wing food isn’t the nicest, makes him drink water, takes notes for him during the lessons he misses, and just generally stays by his side as long as he can, until madam pomfrey has to kick him out

sirius worries so much during and after the full moon that it often makes remus feel guilty, but he also finds it really sweet that sirius cares so much

he still tries to make sirius see sense and stop him from worrying, because he has really bad self esteem issues after the full moon and doesn’t think he deserves it. whenever he tries to tell sirius this, he says that sirius shouldn’t feel obligated to look after him, because he’s a monster.

every single time, sirius will take his hand, look into his eyes, and tell him firmly, ‘you are not a monster, moony.’

peter will then add that ‘you fold your socks, moony, we’re not exactly scared of you.’

and remus will wonder how he got so lucky as to have such amazing friends

whenever sirius is ill, remus will try his best to return the favour. sirius will insist that he doesn’t get ill, ‘don’t worry, remus, I’m fine’, even though he can barely move

but remus won’t listen, and turns into a proper mother hen, fussing over him and making sure he has everything he need, just trying to repay sirius for all he does during the full moons

illness = constant cuddles

but lbr there are constant cuddles regardless

they got together because they both kept confiding in james and lily about their unrequited feelings and how hopelessly in love they were, and james and lily got sick of it and decided to work together to set them up bc they were both so hopelessly oblivious.

that’s also how lily got to know james better, and see that he wasn’t as arrogant as she thought, and he actually cares deeply about his friends

but these are wolfstar headcanons not jily so moving on

they had a very touchy feely relationship even before they got together. they were always very close, and their bond was different than it was with james and peter

sirius loves to bake, whilst remus loves to cook, but if they try to do it the other way around, bad things happen

they would often sneak into the kitchens late at night and try to make something, fool around, mess up, and end up snogging surrounded by the mess of ingredients

late nights on the astronomy tower!! they did this even before they got together; when either of them couldn’t sleep, they would go up there and just sit together and look at the stars. their first date was a picnic up there, and it became their own special place where they both felt safe

nose kisses!! forehead kisses!! cheek kisses!! adorable

whenever they're messing about they'll almost always end up in each others arms, saying ‘I hate you’ whilst grinning bc they both know that they don’t mean it and it’s actually the exact opposite

when sirius can’t sleep, he’ll watch remus (in like. a non-creepy way) and count his freckles. once remus caught him in the act and thought it was the softest thing he’d ever seen

remus talks in his sleep. sometimes he just mutters random words that don’t make sense, and sometimes he can have full on conversations with sirius.

sirius thinks it’s the funniest thing ever and teases remus mercilessly about it in the mornings, even though remus has no memory of it and denies everything.

when they’re alone in the hospital wing after a full moon, sirius will hold remus’ hand and sing softly to comfort him and help him sleep.

remus absolutely adores sirius' voice, and tries to get him to sing more, and in front of other people, but sirius is adamant that the only reason he sings to remus is because it helps soothe him, and his voice isn’t all that great.

his lack of self confidence about his voice is due to his parents constantly yelling at him to stop singing, because they said it was annoying and he didn’t have a good voice, and he believed them, and still does. It’s one of his biggest insecurities.

the first time they said they loved each other was actually an accident. they had gotten all caught up in planning a prank and sirius smirked and said, ‘aren’t i just the most creative person you’ve ever met?’, with a dramatic flip of his hair

remus just chuckled and replied, ‘that’s why I love you.’

remus didn’t even realise he’d said it out loud until he saw sirius staring at him with a dropped jaw.

then remus panicked, but before he could get up and leave, sirius grinned and said it back.

and then they kissed, obviously

remus may be tough and sarcastic and sirius may be proud and overconfident but they’re both big softies really

remus cheers sirius on at every single quidditch practice, come rain or shine

he says he’s just supporting his boyfriend, but secretly he thinks Sirius looks really good in that quidditch jersey

remus loves it when sirius wears eyeliner. no reason. just looks cool.

literally everyone had a bet on when they would get together. minnie and dumbledore, james and pete, lily and marlene, james and lily, james and dorcas...

james likes betting

there are frequent updates on their relationship in the staff room, because all of the teachers just know they're meant to be

the teachers had a field day when they first got together

madam pomfrey, especially, always sees them together in the hospital wing, and by fourth year, is their no1 shipper

they both get frequent nightmares, and will always comfort each other and cuddle after because they feel safe in each other’s arms.

literally the least toxic relationship ever. they’re both incredibly honest with each other, always talk to each other about how they feel, but also have that perfect balance of banter

if not soulmates, why moon and stars??

[cerealmonster15]

silver/kalim, you say? 👀

i havent thought of this ship before but i Am curious if you want to talk about them

YES OUGH i love themmmm. theyre def one of those ships that like, i didnt notice in main story bc they havent shown up together much, so it's very much come more from the vignette/card stories + some events. especially bc silver himself hasnt been in the main story much yet!

there are a handful of specific instances that really have me 👀 at them:

in i think leona's ceremony robes card, when leona's coming to get his mixed up laundry from malleus, silver's at peak Oblivious Mode and thinks leona's there to talk to malleus bc they are Friends, despite leona very blatantly saying they arent lkfdshgklfdj. ruggie makes a comment that silver and kalim are known by the second years for their kinda airheaded happy go lucky vibes. i think the eng translation called it 'the facepalm brigade' or something lol. like everyone else can be in a bad mood but those two never are and are just painfully oblivious lol. it's cute that they have the same sweet boy vibes :)

they're classmates! in... uhhh.. i think it's either kalim's standard uniform or silver's standard uniform story, kalim makes a point to wake silver up after he fell asleep, to remind him to change classes. it's cute that kalim cares!!! he also gets advice in kind of a funny way from kalim lol, about if he's being too hands off with malleus like sebek says he is [and then silver decides, after seeing how helplessly reliant kalim is on jamil, that silver is Right to want to give malleus space to grow LOL]

silver's lab coat story - silver and kalim are held after class and have to do make up work bc silver fell asleep in class and kalim broke equipment in class jfkldshg. they decide to stay back and work together :) silver is still having trouble staying awake, and confides in kalim [and jamil who got pulled into it lol rip] about his chronic sleep problem, kalim decides that before they work on their assignment, they should make a wake-up potion to help silver stay awake, and silvers really grateful that kalim's so enthused about helping him with it 🥺 the poor goobers both get each other so off track so easily lol. but it's so cute. you can tell in that story kalim really cares about silver and helping him feel better ;A;

a very small thing lol but in jade's halloween ssr story at the very beginning, when kalim's trying to bargain with jade or w/e, jamil complains that kalim's taking so long and silver fell asleep bc he had to wait so long. the way that convo goes just makes it sound like silver was hanging out with kalim and jamil Just Cuz and i thought it was cute kjlfdshg ANYWAY

in the second halloween event [it hasnt come out in engtwst yet so ill avoid story spoilers; im talking the endless halloween/not the masquerade one] there's a scene where jamil says silver scarily reminds him of kalim - i think it had something to do with his Innocent Good Boy Energy or something lol. and silver's response was something like "oh, thank you. kalim is nice to me in class so i am glad you think we're similar." and then later when [REDACTED] happens, silver makes a point to say to kalim that he is a good person and considers him a dear friend 🥺 this scene in particular made me SO HAPPY lol i felt SO VALIDATED!!!!

i THINK. I THINK!!! there's a similar opposite scene. where someone tells kalim that he's a lot like silver and kalim takes it as a compliment?? BUT i can't for the life of me remember the context. i'm not sure if it also happens in halloween 2 or if that's in another event/story. or if i made it up LOL <- god does anyone know what the hell i'm talking about. it's been so long. i used to be so sure it existed and now i dont KNOW!!!

the general vibe of noble/knight is cute. like kalim is the eldest of a wealthy powerful family, to the point that he has an attendant- jamil - and silver is raised as a knight to malleus. i always thought it would be cute if later down the line, jamil's off to live his life free as he pleases, and silver like takes on that role either officially or unofficially by Kalim's side to protect him bc he Loves Him 🥺 wah wah let me have my cliches LOL

circling back to the thing ruggie said in my first bullet point lol, i found through google translating journeys lol, theres a ship tag or something for them in jpntwt/pixiv or w/e that i believe comes from that story. i think it's いらふわコンビ - if you search that it's nothing but silver/kalim lol. when i was auto translating captions with google on fanart of those two, i kept seeing the term "fluffy combination" or "irritated combination" and i was like. what the hell's that mean lol. this was before engtwst existed, so i think i eventually tried comparing the characters to ruggie's dialogue in that story ^ on youtube, and it was clllloooose but not quite the same or something. a few fan translations i saw translated the thing ruggie said as "mad free zone". like those two together Do Not Get Mad lol, or that they have a "frustratingly, easy going vibe". and a spanish sub called it "el espacia libre de locos" which is roughly "space free of craziness/wildness" whatever. anyway. いらふわコンビ. whatever it means, people use it in silver/kalim fanart lol <- there is a lot of adorable fanart of the two of them :')

not really super related but i believe the miraheze wiki says somewhere that silver, kalim, and rook are the only three students that use/specialize in light magic. i dont really know where that comes up but it's a fun fact/i think it's bc theyre the only three characters not based on villains/are more hero leaning from their origins? [besides i guess jack since hes supposedly not based off Anything lol just a random wolf boy]. it was just cute that they had that in common, like boys with the good vibes that make u think "why are you in villain school for villains" fjkdslhgf

there might be other scenes/reasons i'm forgetting but that's the gist of why i Love Them. they are sweet good boys.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

no

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[ushiwakaout]

Hi, if it's not to much trouble could you do atsumu for what he would say from the moment you wake, but the reader is a professional violinist. Jock x classical musician but make ✨Married life✨ lmao. If you can't or don't want to I totally understand. Also I hope I'm not bothering you :)

i did one for atsugi already but i’m so willing to make is the married life edition, you can read it here

BUT THIS WOULD BE SO CHAOTIC and i think a little unhealthy ngl especially with a pro violinist and a pro volleyball player but i’ll make it short

just to set the scene,

“why are you awake so early?” (7:00 am)

*it’s a weekend and atsumu doesn’t get up until the early afternoon*

“practice? i thought you where a professional already, what the fuck do you need practice for?”

“Shut up i know i practice to i just want you in bed.”

“Get back here and give me a kiss you brat.”

“isn’t your recital today?”

“i have a game today so i don’t know if i’ll make it.”

“I’m sorry you know our schedules don’t line up.”

“I promise to make it up to you alright?”

“Do you want me to make you some breakfast?”

“Yeah? I’ll do it for a kiss.”

*atsumu cooks naked. man is afraid of nothing but you when you’re stings snap on you mid song during long hours of practice*

“Pancakes or waffles?”

“Waffles it is.”

*if you didn’t pick waffles* “Hey, no complaining.”

“Atleast i’m feeding you before you get grumpy.”

“Did ya like the waffles? Good, give me a kiss.”

“I don’t care if you have food in your, just give me a smooch.”

“Ya taste like syrup.”

“Hurry up and finish your food, you gotta practice.”

since i already wrote a atsumu one i’ll just write down the basics. Atsumu 100% watches you play while you practice. he thinks you’re an angel from heaven sent from above just for him. He doesn’t miss a day when you practice because he usually always misses a recital. He most definitely feels really bad because he loves you so much and knows how hard you work.

“Hey, I need to head out for early arrival.”

“Give me a kiss before i go.”

“You know i love you right?”

“I want you to do tour best... I know you get nervous.”

“And im really sorry that i won’t be able to make it.” (2:00 pm)

let’s say that the recital is around 8 and the game ended a lot earlier than expected. he’s legit running from station to station to get to the auditorium and stops when he sees a flowershop (6:40 pm)

this morherfucker buys you like three bouquets worth of your favorite flowers

he’s lucky he didn’t forget his ticket at home because he would have been fucked

he’s on time and wow when you get on stage, alone, standing and looking out at the crowd

THIS MOTHER FUCKER WANTS TO STAND UP AND YELL THAT UR HIS S/O but no... he knows better (9:00 pm)

you guys catch eyes and he wants to start crying

it’s been so long since he’s been able to sit down and just watch you do your thing, in you’re zone, with hundred of people around but it just feels like it’s you and him

you’re eyes never leave his unless you close your eyes to focus

highkey if that was me i’d start crying too

ima say that you do because it’s very overwhelming because you’ve worked so hard for this day, more than any other and he’s here.

“You did so well baby.”

*he’s definitely trying not to cry*

“You look so good, let me kiss you.”

“God i love you.”

“You did so so good and you look- let me get a good look at you.”

“If i could fuck you right here and now i would.”

“Ow! Don’t hit me.”

“Let’s go grab some dinner yeah? My treat.”

“Why are you crying?”

“Don’t cry you’re gonna make me cry.”

“Come on, let’s go before they gather around you to congratulate you.”

“Baby let’s run, come on.”

“Hurry up because then i’m gonna get in trouble.”

“If i get in trouble than i lose sponsorships bc i stole a violinist during the her on core.”

extras:

“HEY! ITS 2 AM GO TO BED YOU CRAZY SHIT!”

“Baby- i’m gonna kill you if you pick up your violin.”

“Can i play?”

“Let me touch the new one.”

“What do you mean i’d break it, tha last one was an accident and i got you a new one!”

[mashbits]

hi hi!! may i please request headcanons of the brothers (+ barbatos and solomon, if you can) with a fem!MC who is busty and likes teasing them with her bust in public? (lmao im sorry i just find it so cute and funny when boys get flustered because of something like that)

o h o I like your thinking 😉😉 flustered boys are my aesthetic 😌💅🏻

Busty MC teasing the Obey Me boys in public (18+!)

Warnings ;; slight nsfw, tiddy appreciation

Fem!MC here~

Lucifer 🐺

Oh

O h

So you’re gonna play with fire huh?

Lucifer took you out on a not-date completely professional outing in the Devildom

He had business to attend to and reluctantly allowed you to come along

He didn’t expect you to suddenly slip off your jacket, complaining it was too hot

That shirt is very, well...

Low cut

He knew what you were doing when you’d point your body specifically towards him, your arms squeezed close to better present your clevage

He doesn’t get flustered easily, but boy is he distracted

It takes all his willpower to not drag you home and punish you himself 😉

Once he’s finished working, he’ll wrap an arm around your waist and lean down to level with you

“You’ve been playing with me all day, MC,” he whispers, his breath on your ear. “It’s my turn.”

You better be ready for a long night

Mammon 💸

Listen he probably covers you up the second any bit of your chest is exposed

You’re wearing a tight shirt? He throws his jacket around you to hide it

Clevage showing? Not on his watch, he’s making sure his body is covering your own

Very jealous when other people look at you

But also very flustered when he sees you himself

You know how he is

So you decide to tease him one day

You went shopping with him, wearing a tank top that better accentuates your bust

His jacket was wrapped around you, but it was opened, allowing a view from the front and top

While his attentions diverted you suddenly hug his arm

It’s right between the mounds of flesh

You’re lucky you didn’t kill him right on the spot smh

“Maaammooooon~” you coo, subtly squeezing your chest against him

His face somehow grows even redder

Larry the lobster who?

“Are you almost done? I’m bored.”

He nearly whines when you let him go, unable to speak for a hot minute

“H-Hold yer horses! ‘M done when I-I say I a-am!”

He finishes his shopping spree very quickly

Leviathan 🕹

Pls you’re gonna kill him

Worse than Mammon when it comes to getting flustered

No amount of hentai or games could prepare him for the real thing!

He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable by staring though, he’s a good boy 👉👈

But sometimes you want him to stare

It’s a 1 hit k.o when you do

You accompanied him while he went and bought a new game one day

Made sure your shirt was especially revealing

It even had one of his favorite characters on it!

Or mega milk if you’re a sinner like that smh

Whenever he looks your way you make sure to wiggle your shoulders

It’s a chain reaction that goes right to your bust

While he is a thigh guy himself, he can’t help but want to feel yknow?

But again, he doesn’t want to make you uncomfy

Only when you hug him from behind suddenly, your chest squished very noticeably against his back, does he start to malfunction

Satan 📚

Much like Lucifer, you’re playing with fire here~

You dare tease him during class?

How risqué!

You’re sitting across from him during your Devildom history lessons

Your uniform was unbuttoned ever-so slightly

Just enough for him to see skin and clevage poking out

It was quite hot for a human, so he thought nothing of it at first

That is, until you “accidentally” pressed a pencil in between the mounds of flesh

Your eyes locked on his

He could see that dammed smirk in your eyes, and all too quickly you were sitting up and covering yourself like nothing happened

He didn’t appreciate how just any demon could have seen that

But he knows they could never have a chance with you

You’re his, after all

Prepare to skip dinner cause he’s not letting you go once you get home

Asmodeus 💅🏻

You think you can fluster him with a little teasing?

Wrong!

He’ll straight up compliment your chest

“Ara~! So big MC! I bet they’re heavy~”

Can and will offer to hold them for you

Be warned, tease him too much in public and he will find a secluded alley to take you in~

He’ll tease you as much as you tease him

“Oh, my dear, you’ve wanted me to look all day haven’t you? I’ve waited this long though, why not a little longer~?”

Beelzebub 🍔

He’s so oblivious to your teasing though

Baby boy baby

Innocent b e a n

You’ll be eating in Hells Kitchen and take off your sweater, showing your chest in pride

He’ll just offer you some of his food 😭

But one day while on a lunch date, you have an idea

You both got ice cream, and you let yours purposefully melt and drip onto your exposed clevage

“Ah, whoops! Guess we should have brought napkins, huh?”

You’re all but innocent

His eyes never leave your chest

He looks extra hungry now, but doesn’t make a move

That is, until you wipe the drop of ice cream off on your finger

You’re about to lick it off when he takes your wrist gently, licking your finger clean himself

“Be careful, MC, you’ll get sticky...”

Whether he’s trying to be intentionally sexy or not is a mystery to you

You’re the one squealing now

Belphegor 🛌

Another hard one to fluster

Big tiddies?

Do you mean:

M o r e p i l l o w s

Straight up shameless I swear to diavolo

Even in public, he’ll lean over and press his head on one side of your chest

Or right in between your bust

Suffocate him please and thank you

This is the only way he’d allow himself to die

He’ll squeeze em if you let him, he’s no coward

Barbatos 🌓

Pls MC he’s trying to be professional

He has to keep his composure s o b

He’s hard to fluster externally, but we all know he’s thinking some dirty thoughts

He’ll act unphased when you press up to him at one of Diavolos parties

But behind closed doors you’re in danger

As many say, the quietest are the kinkiest ~

You take it as a challenge to try and make him blush

It doesn’t work and neither do your legs now

Solomon 🐍

The man appreciates tiddies that’s all

You get annoyed when he ignores you so often, so you choose the busty approach

Wearing cropped shirts or tight clothes to make it more visible

He acts like he doesn’t care, but high key gets jealous when someone gives you attention over it

You belong to him 😤

He’ll come up behind you, one arm around your waist, the other on your chest as he stares down the demon flirting with you

Yell at him all you want he’s asserting dominance

This man will straight up say “nice tits” with no shame

But that’s only bc he wants to annoy you more

Oh boy. Watch out when he has enough of your teasing attempts

It’s worth it in the end 😉

[petewentzisblack1312]

Hi… I wanted to ask this on anon so I didn’t ask on your personal, idk if this is too personal or anything to ask but

Do you have a problem with people saying they have a mental disorder if they don’t have a diagnosis? Like for me so… I have been diagnosed with anxiety but I am like 99% sure I have bipolar disorder. And like I know you can’t diagnose me so I’m not going to go into depth with my symptoms but ever since I was like, 11, I used to get very depressed to the point where I contemplated ending it but then i would snap out of it and I think for me my manic phase are hypomanic bc ive never experienced like the full range of those symptoms but my depressive phases get very rough esp if I have external stressors but it will go through what I assume to be these phases like sometimes within the day esp if I have a stressor.

I am in nursing school and I work at a psych hospital so like this isn’t coming out of nowhere, I am very familiar with all mental disorders and it was actually during my psych nursing class and learning about bipolar disorder that I was like… hm… why does this feel like a mirror right now. I am aware I should get to a therapist and get an actual diagnosis (if I had money I would lol) but like idk. Idk if it’s worth going to my doctor at my physical and being like “hey I think I have this” I am lucky enough now that I am in a good place and can manage my symptoms but I am terrified I will go through a stressor again and lose it so idk. I mean I feel like I already know the answer but I wanted to ask anyway to see your take :/

Anyway idk as a future medical professional I think self diagnosis got a bad rep and it’s like idk I think for mental disorders esp you can tell if you have anxiety and it’s a persistent problem. You can tell if you have depression. I know bipolar disorder is harder to diagnose but idk I think since I’m in the field it’s easier? Idk I felt like a sense of relief with learning about it and finding similarities and being like “well maybe that’s why I’m like that”. But idk now I’m feeling uneasy bc I don’t have a diagnosis and I don’t want to be like, stepping over people who were diagnosed. Thank you in advance if you read all this and yeah I’m sorry I know it’s a lot and this is controversial

ok this is a long post so im putting it under a cut but tldr, no i dont have a problem with it. it doesnt matter if you actually have an illness, it matters if you find a solution to your problem. if treating yourself like you have a certain condition makes it easier to go through life, then keep doing what works for you, you are doing nothing wrong. this all goes for physical and mental illnesses.

im a firm proponent of self diagnosis. i wouldnt be here if i didnt have the confidence to research mental illnesses and advocate for myself. as someone who is extremely familiar with the medical profession on account of being the daughter of a doctor and a nurse and spending my childhood running around a hospital, im extremely privileged to even have the knowledge and ability to do so, and i try to bear in mind the understandable hesitancy of people without this advantage. i know that you are well within your right to refuse medication that makes you sick, i know that you can complain about a doctor that isnt listening to you, i know that you are allowed and encouraged to be adamant about things you are told dont matter, and in addition to that, i have a VERY well known doctor and a nurse in my corner, and i am STILL treated as though i do not understand my own experiences enough to have any authority more often than i am not.

the reason self diagnosis gets a bad rep imo is because people have constructed this boogeyman of the worst case scenario, people collecting mental illnesses they dont have for attention as opposed to what it is, people doing research into their experiences and making theories on what they have so they can manage it. youll often see the take of "i dont hate self dxd i just hate people who do it for attention" and i think thats very irresponsible considering a symptom of many mental illnesses is thinking youre faking it and doing it for attention, nevermind the fact that attention seeking behaviour is literally a symptom of many mental illnesses people often dont want to empathize with. gatekeeping whos illness is real just keeps people who need help out. i could go into an anarchist screed about democratizing health, but basically, as someone whos life has been saved by my insistence on self diagnosis, and whos life has been made significantly easier by treating myself as though i have the conditions that i theorize i have, self diagnosis saves lives, and i, as an advocate for disabled people of all kinds on my island, will never put any conditionals on self diagnosis. it doesnt matter if you find the right name for your problem, it matters if you find a solution that works. i have yet to meet any of these fabled people who never try to receive a professional opinion, only people who literally cant.

as for feeling guilty, ill repeat how i opened this answer: it does not matter what exactly your problem is, it matters that you find a solution that works. in medicine generally, there will be a wide spectrum of problems with overlapping treatments, things which are similar but distinct, things which look identical but are completely different and at different levels of concern. it doesnt really matter which grab bag of bullshit your brain is reaching from, it matters that you know how to deal with what it throws at you, whatever that may be. dont worry about getting it right, worry about getting it working. okay?

for advice on how to deal with doctors, its helpful to pose it as a hypothetical as opposed to an absolute. when i bring up things im dealing with that i have a theory about i say "i think i have x" or "i think i might have x" or "i have a lot of symptoms of x". doctors are often egotistical and are easily challenged so it helps to pose it at a problem they can solve as opposed to one youve solved for them otherwise they get spooked. in my experience posing it this way leads them to actually interrogate this line of symptoms, and theyll ask you why you think that, and you can bring up symptoms that led you to that conclusion, and ones that give you trouble especially. for example, ive said "i think i may have autism or adhd? or both" to several doctors, and they either agree with me (i believe its been put in my file as a possibility now although i cant get an official test done due to financial and resource restrictions) or they ask why i think so, and i detail what i believe is due to my autism. its small, but this reframing helps a lot.

i think this covers all you said but my head is empty as hell.

[francofolle]

i'd really like it if my brain would just let me feel everything i feel instead of constantly telling me its all my fault i feel bad and also im weak for feeling bad.

like, friday ~150 aqi smoke started coming but i had to drive 40 min for my covid test appointment. i honestly thought i was fine, til i was halfway there and started getting antsy anxious and switching between loud music, talking to myself in the car, and comfort podcasts, just to keep me calm enough to make it to the appointment on time. loud music got me through the rest of my errands and i could cry im so grateful, but then as soon as i got home, all i wanted to do was hide in my room. which i did all weekend, as the smoke lingered. i'd glance out my windows and think i should be stronger than this, and then smell the wildfire smell and immediately feel sick to my stomach. the smoke is heavy, heartbreaking, and terrifying, but my brain still won't shut up with it's 'everyone else seems fine, why aren't you?' i keep trying to explain that i know myself well and know what i need to do take care of myself and know when i need to focus on my mental state.. but this whole weekend as i worked to keep myself calm, i had to keep arguing with my brain that everyone deals with trauma and anxiety differently and i am doing what is best for me so i don't care if others are doing differently than me. big survival guilt came through too, trying to tell me i'm not allowed to feel anxious because the fire isn't threatening us. i hate that one the most bc it makes me hate myself for feeling anxious about 150 aqi when its so much worse for others. something about being evacuated last year has my brain telling me i can't complain unless the fire is on our doorstep. but im still anxious every time its smoky and every time i smell that wildfire smell.

i'm sitting in bed with just my battery powered lamp on and i can't stop seeing the fire red glow from my windows. in the last four years, i've seen fire out of every single window in our house. in 2017, i really thought it was a once in a lifetime thing. i think part of whats so hard this year is that i expect to be affected by wildfire somehow every year now, to the point that if we only have intermittent 150 aqi smoke from a fire far from us, i should feel lucky. but no, i still feel all sorts of awful and anxious.

trying to come to terms with the fact that this is life in california now while still processing the trauma from last year and my brain is telling me i shouldn't feel any of this because it could be worse... i'm exhausted and angry. loud music, coloring, chocolate, and pet cuddles have been my saving grace.

and quick tangent, i'd love if my brain would also chill with the whole 'i know that made you feel bad, but its your job to deal with that and its your fault you weren't good enough to keep dealing with that thing that made you feel bad'. like brain, istg, do you hear what you're trying to tell me?? we were not happier when we put everyone else ahead of our own well being, what the fuck!

this is a full on essay oof. ok i'm gonna go back to loud music and a very nostalgic 2015 bordeaux to burn off any remaining ranting feelings. props to anyone who made it to the end ✌🏻

[valdrift]

hi its 3am and i wrote down dnd au shit that im putting under cut bc its. long

pre-canon is mostly the same with minor differences bc d&d magic at play

 jyl and jzx die but they're ok bc true resurrection baby. maybe it takes them a while to be resurrected bc, at the time, resurrection is a fairly new spell/VERY expensive (requires diamonds worth 25k gp in game)/no one was high enough level to cast the spell and also the spell is taxing on the caster/resurrection is taboo (not sure abt that one). anyways they live and raise jl :) jc is still angry but for different reasons and he's also Not As Angry and misses his brother. wwx doesn't know that jyl/jzx lived

wwx doesn't die. during the bloodbath of nightless city, he manages to destroy one half of the stygian tiger seal but before he can destroy the other, the siege on the burial mounds happens. he planeshifts to the 9 hells to escape taking the remaining half with him. such spells were completely unknown at the time and were of wwx's invention so ppl just assumed he died/killed himself. he stays in hell for 13 years (part cultivating his powers/part thinking he deserves it) before finally returning to the material plane thx to mxy

during those 13 years, ppl definitely try to reach him. BUT considering he's on another plane of existence, they often fail. communication spells like sending usually fail but Some do reach him, though he thinks he's just going crazy or it's just wishful thinking. (jyl successfully sends him a message like "a-xian? are you there? …well, wherever you are, i hope you're ok. i miss you. i love you. we all do. please come back." and wwx thinks it isn't real. he DEFINITELY cries when he finds out it actually was real and he wasn't losing his mind in hell)

REGARDING WWX'S POWERS: no one has done it like him!! forming a pact with a fiend was practically unheard of/extremely taboo and the fact that he managed to outgrow his patron in terms of power (lvl 20 baby) is something in of itself. wwx is like The First Warlock Ever and after his "death" many others tried to follow in his footsteps, however no one came even close in terms of power. xy maybe but fuck that guy lol

MXY LIVES!!! bc of reasons he manages to get his hands on a deck of many things from the jin vault (perhaps nhs had a hand in it :eyes:) and draws a wish card on the first try (Very Lucky). he uses that card to essentially wish a pact with the yiling patriarch into existence and over in hell wwx is like "hey wtf is going on" and pops into mxy's shed to see what's up

wq also lives!! jgs covered up her death and wn and her bust out of jinlintai when wwx calls

CURRENT-CANON:

mxy and wwx have a patron/ward relationship. wwx Knows he's not like his own patron and has no desire for mxy's soul or w/e so he's just "yea fine i guess i'll be your evil teacher :/"

wtf is wwx's patron anyway lol…..maybe it's a demon/fiendish entity that resided in the burial mounds that wwx formed a pact with to survive. it probably hangs out on another plane of existence and was partly responsible for his deteriorating mental state.

at mo manor, the mo family dies without mxy or wwx rlly having to do anything. mxy uses his fledgling warlock skills to help out the lan juniors with the arm. lwj shows up after and wwx's like AH FUCK and dips with mxy following after him

wwx uses mask of many faces to disguise himself in his humansona (bc like. he's a tiefling and also very recognizable, being the yiling patriarch and all no biggie) and has bonding moments with mxy. mxy realizes that wwx is not actually evil incarnate; he's actually a fucking dumbass ESPECIALLY when the man starts talking about lwj. (idk how this plays in but I want wwx to complain abt lwj like "i used to be taller than him, now we're the same height?? bullshit >:(" bc i am spreading my short lwj propaganda)

mxy and wwx run into jl at some point. wwx is like :'( when he finds out who it is, jl is a baby homophobe and mxy is like I Will Tell Your Mother to which wwx goes WHAT. BACK UP bc surprise, jyl's actually alive! while he's reeling with this information, mxy drags him away

at dafan mountain, mxy and wwx help out the juniors with the goddess statue. wwx summons wn and jc is like HEY WAIT A SECOND. he goes to hit wwx with zidian (still has the ability to knock possessive spirits but it also has dispel magic, not good for wwx's disguise!) however mxy deflects it with *fjord critical role voice* Eldritch Blast earning lwj's respect. anyways lwj takes both mxy and wwx back to the cloud recesses; mxy doesn't see what's the big deal, wwx is freaking out and Desperately wants to planeshift out of there but he has a ward now and disappearing like that would mean the jigs up considering no one else can planeshift

at the cloud recesses, mxy ditches wwx with lwj so the two can have a Talk to go chill. lwj is like "wei ying drop the humansona i know it's you" and wwx goes :O well. after, mxy comes back and is like "ok so here's the deal with the arm" and spills what he knows abt jgy and what he did and the 3 of them head off to get evidence

I Do Not Remember much of their whole like journey to piece nmj's body back together but it'd probably go much faster with mxy alive and knowledgeable to jgy's shit

wangxian are still gay and stupid

idk abt yi city but songxiao and a-qing get a better ending and xy eats shit

there will def be a yunmeng sib reunion.

POST-CANON:

pulling a page from cql, lwj is chief cultivator but only so he can like. actually do some good then once he's done dismantles the position or smth so he can live out his house husband dreams with wwx

wwx still goes on that journey so he can relearn what it's like to be a person in society and not someone hated and demonized. also he lived in literal hell for 13 years, dude needs time to process that. but u KNOW when he comes back, he's eloping with lwj

with all the pieces of nmj's body back together, nhs true resurrects him :)

NOTES:

wen clan are a mix of tiefling and human, with direct members being tiefling

lsz and ljy are human, jl is half-elf (half-triton), and ozz is a tabaxi (catboy rights!!)

wwx definitely used mask of many faces to entertain a-yuan in the burial mounds by disguising himself as whoever a-yuan asked. (disguises himself as lwj at their dinner date bc a-yuan said so and lwj is like Fuck…….He Would Make Such A Good Father…………)

[01jk]

🎨 get to know the blogger 🎨

I was tagged by @moonpjms thank u sm angel 🥺🥺🥺

🧸 what do you prefer to be called, name wise? elena is good I dont have any nicknames or anything ah

🧸 when is your birthday? april 5th!!

🧸 where do you live? i live in greece

🧸 three things you're doing right now? writing an english essay, listening to music, chatting with a friend

🧸 four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now? I rlly want to get into ateez, monsta x and svt also I wanna learn more about exo so!!! I'm going to be getting my formal education by ria soon so stay tuned lmao

🧸 hows the pandemic treating you? ahh well I had a bit of a rough time bc it was in the middle of my very very important exams however I truly cant complain since I'm lucky enough that everyone around me has been safe and healthy

🧸 a song you cant stop listening to right now? my monthly obsession with nct dream's boom is back bc I'm trying to learn the choreo fjwjw

🧸 reccomend a movie? the tale of princess kaguya is a very pretty underrated ghibli film so!!!

🧸 how old are you? im 18!!

🧸 school, university, occupation or other? I just graduated high school so uhhh hopefully I'll get into the uni I want hehe

🧸 do you prefer hot or cold? in terms of weather cold all the way babey

🧸 name one fact others may not know about you? I've always wanted to become a classical pianist but even though I've been playing for years I mainly play by ear so that didnt work fjejdkq

🧸 are you shy? oh yes very much so

🧸 do you have any preferred pronouns? she/her is fine hehe

🧸 do you have any pet peeves? hnhggh rude people !!!!! also people that make fun of others LITERALLY where are ur manners why are u so mean (bonus people that are very impatient to an annoying and rude degree u know what I'm talking about)

🧸 what's your favourite "dere" type? hdjwkd idk man

🧸 rate your life 1-10, 1 being the crappiest and 10 the best you could ever be uhhhhhhh a solid 6 ig prolly less idk

🧸 what's your main blog? this one!!! I am gguks bby on main lmaodjwk

🧸 list your sideblogs and what they are used for @kokotual is my jk sideblog in which I express my undying love for mr jaykay and @truth-untolds is my aes/personal/whatever blog

🧸 is there anything you think people need to know before being friends with you? I'm very shy and I dont rlly initiate interactions but !!! I really love talking to people and making friends so even if I dont text first just know I still appreciate u!! also i get very self conscious when talking to people so if uve ever been nice to me I'll prolly remeber and think of u as my friend jfwkkdq

🍃🧸💫🎨🍃🎨💫🍃💫🧸🎨💫🍃🧸🎨💫🍃

tagging: @nctentastic, @yyooodream, @kookiesjoonies, @pinkjxckson, @sketchguk, @cherriigguk and @utopiajeon!!! no pressure ofc and sorry if uve done this before ahh 💘💘

[mymanskabu]

Kabu One-Shot:

A Kiss in Ten Seconds

Anonie requested: ❝Idk if I can req anything for the holidays or if it's too late but, just in case. Can you do something for Kabu finding out his champion!s/o will be too busy on New Years Eve and New Years Day bc of all the events that are going on? Then how would he react, when people are literally doing the 10 second count down right before midnight and he sees his s/o burst into the room/wherever he is, panting, out of breath, looking for him just so they could be there to kiss him when the countdown's over?❞

× IM UPLOADING THIS AT 11:59PM Or at least that's the time it is for me as I post this! I know its 2020 already for many of you! I wish you guys a good New Years!

× sorry some of y'alls requests will have taken a year to get done. Please don't unfollow, I am a hard-working person with one brain cell.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

No one told you just how tedious and time consuming being a Champion would be. No wonder the former one appears much less stressed, the poor guy barely had time for his family on this schedule. You were constantly on the move and everyone wanted to talk to you. Leon came around to check on you after you had sent him a text saying, "Help, why are they coming for my life, I have a shit to do."

"Your schedule is very full," He said, looking at you apologetically. "There should be a warning before people try to become Champion, this is a workload that would surely scare off a lot of trainers."

"I don't even have time for my hobbies!" You flip the page to your schedule and half of next month was already full. "I'm lucky enough to manage a call to my mom and one of the only times I see Kabu is when I am going home in the middle of the night." You were surprised the man hasn't decided to leave you. You would completely understand if he couldn't handle being with someone so busy.

"I was undefeated for a very long time," Leon starts explaining. "Your schedule is much fuller than mine was because you beat someone that no one else could for many years. Even those older than me and with perhaps more experience couldn't defeat me."

"You're telling me your schedule wasn't this hectic?" You stared down at the calendar, realizing that talking to Leon was going to get cut short anytime soon.

"It was hectic definitely. Not like this." Leon gave you a comforting pat on your shoulder. "The workload will lessen later on, not sure by how much but you can only repeat a story for so long before people get bored. Then you have to worry about people trying to force a story to happen. At least you have off time when the Gym Challenge is not at large."

"I'm going to lose to the next challenger on purpose," You said. It got a chuckle out of Leon who raised a brow at you, questioning the honesty of your statement. "Or not." You sighed. "Too many benefits outweighing the negatives right now. Well, I'm happy you're able to have more time for other projects Leon!"

"Thank you... Champion."

You were getting many challengers nowadays. People who couldn't defeat Leon come back thinking they can defeat you, plenty of Challengers coming for your title, and new ones in the making. You had a lot of paperwork as well, surprisingly enough. A lot of interviews, so many damn interviews, and your privacy? Almost completely gone. You were grateful for having been with Kabu since before you even challenged the Gyms to attempt being Champion.

Unfortunately your relationship with him was outed rather quickly because of that though. Even if it was a secret, the ring on a specific finger would have also given you away. That was quite recent, it was his surprise for when you became Champion so now wedding planning is somewhere quite far in the schedule. Your management didn't consider it as important as you did, it's something you had to force into your schedule. They only care about managing your public image, personal problems don't rank high on their list of priorities when they're organizing your calendar.

Champions also have to be very involved with Galar and it's people. You had to understand the public opinion, the government opinion, and manage almost any incoming threat. That was terrifying, they sent you to anything just because you happen to be strongest around right now. You had to suck it up and protect the people, show them that their Champion can do probably anything.

You read over your schedule with Leon for a bit longer until you saw something in it that was irritating. "Leon. Why in the world do I have interviews for both New Years Eve and New Years. They can't take those days! I wanted to... I need to be..." You were fuming. You told them not to fill the holidays and they didn't for the past ones, but for some reason they filled those two dates.

"There isn't much you can do about that," He says. "You can try but I remember trying and they... if its urgent, its unlikely." Leon continued with saying that they probably gave you the prior holidays so that you didn't have room to completely complain about your management.

Your phone started ringing. You hesitated to pick up the phone knowing that it'll be someone to take you away for another interview, photoshoot, or fan meet. You didn't hate the people that wanted to meet you, your anger was mostly directed towards the people that were stuffing so much into your schedule. Leon was right though, they can't keep this up forever and hopefully later on it will get more tolerable.

"Are you alright?" His familiar voice caused your shoulders to ease up. You were crossing your arms on the table with your head laid on them. You had came home tired of socializing and still having to do some paperwork having to do with former Chairman Rose.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm tired though, mentally tired to tell you the truth." You stretched your arms upwards then felt two arms wrap around your shoulders when you put them down. "Kabu, I can't be with you during New Years Eve or New Years. It says its urgent but I very much doubt these Talk Shows need me that badly."

You didn't hear anything from behind you for a long moment. He was most likely thinking, you were too, and depending on what he says, you might just consider the idea of letting him go. It hurt you to ponder upon such a thing, but there's other people out there that could give Kabu much more of their time.

"I understand," He finally said, "I'll open up the Stadium for those that need a warm place to be on those days and I will be thinking of you when the countdown starts."

"You don't have to be like that, you know? You don't have to understand, you can be mad at me, you can be frustrated at me, I won't... I won't blame you!" You got up from where you were sitting to face him. He held your hands and promptly shook his head in response.

"I'm not sure you knew this, love but you do not plan your schedule." He kisses your knuckles to comfort you. "If I am to be frustrated at anyone it will be whoever made you busy on those two days. Was there anything you could do about it?"

"I tried, but they just repeatedly tell me that it's an urgent thing I need to be at," You reply, a frustrated sigh escaping past your lips.

"You do what you have to, and think of me as I will think of you during the countdown." With a hand gently on the back of your neck he guides your mouth to his in a much needed relaxing kiss that made your body melt.

"Of course, you're right... you're right," You mumbled. Your eyes remained closed for a bit after the kiss before you were able to open them without feeling like they held sadness in them. "I love you, you know that?"

"I love you too."

Your stylist dressed you up nicely for the interviews, these events to celebrate a new Champion and a New Year. This is wrong, why does it feel like you were just rubbing it in everyone's face that you were now Champion? You were backstage waiting to be introduced, slouching in a nearby couch with your elbow on your thigh and your hand holding your chin. Finally you heard your name, you could see the crowd cheering on the screen, all anticipating your presence through the hall that all guests walk through.

Kabu opened the Stadium as he said he would, a lot more people came than he thought would. He had announced that it would be open to celebrate the New Year and there would be food and drinks. It wasn't going to be like that at first but you offered the funds and he couldn't say no. It was open for people and Pokemon alike and that brought his heart a pleasant feeling.

He missed you a lot though. He understood that you had things to do but he didn't realize just how attached he had grown to you for your lacking presence to impact him so much. His Stadium was playing the interview for everyone to see and the people that came; majority of them knew Kabu was engaged to the new Champion of Galar. He wondered if you were going to complete your end of the promise and think of him.

"Here's our new magnificent Champion, (Name)!" The cheers were loud, the "I love you's" came from all directions, and so did flowers. Roses, vibrant red roses that reminded you of Kabu. You sat down, a big smile on your face that only managed to be genuine knowing Kabu would see it. "How are you on this beautiful night, Champ?" The interviewer asked.

"I'm doing great, thank you! I actually have somethin' to say real quick, is that alright?" The interviewer furrowed his brows and pointed towards the camera you should speak to.

"Let's hear what (Name) needs to say folks! I wonder what it is! Sounds mysterious!"

"Perhaps it would be mysterious if paparazzi didn't exist," You responded. "I want to say I'm thinking about you, I'll see you soon!"

"Would my guess be wrong if I say that message was for your to-be husband and Fire Type Gym Leader Kabu!?" The interviewer raises your hand, the one that had the ring. "How is the wedding planning going anyway? Any progress?"

"Its somewhere in my schedule, we have ideas we hope to bring to life." The answer was simple and clearly not to the interviewers' taste. They had to remain unaffected though and continued smiling.

"We have a few fan questions we would like you to answer! First one being, would you date a fan?!"

"Absolutely not. I'm engaged, are you people not getting the memo?" You said this sarcastically, but with a tone of seriousness. It got you a laugh from the audience and you laughed along with them as truthfully as you could. "Not to be inappropriate or anything but I think— no. I know I'll be with Kabu for the rest of my life."

Kabu was almost as red as Gym outfit shirt, hearing the "Aww" from both the crowd in the Stadium and the ones where you were. In all honesty though, he would have said the exact same thing about you.

"A curious fan has asked: Do you sing in the shower?" You didn't think for long and answered it with a brief nod.

"I do sing in the shower, Kabu says it sounds good but I think he may just be losing hearing." Once again, the crowd laughed. "Who knows though, only he has ever heard me sing and no, I'm not singing!"

"You and Kabu live together as you've implied multiple times, has there been any mishaps in the kitchen by one of you?" You pondered on this question for a few seconds.

"Not yet, Kabu is a pretty good cook and surprisingly good baker!" You tried to think of an incident once again but nothing came to mind as of now.

"Have you used the 'Is your Dad a baker' pick up line on him yet?" You chuckled at the question and so did the crowd. You covered half your face as you nodded, confirming that you have used a pick up line on him. "I didn't expect that! How'd that go?"

"He still has no idea what I meant by the line and I suppose now is a good time to get it out in the open." It took you a moment or two to compose yourself. "When I said you had a nice set of buns, I was talking about your butt, Kabu!"

He was sitting in the middle of his Stadium, on the ground and when you said that, he fell back laughing much more than he usually would allow himself to in front of a crowd. He should have known that's what you meant then, all he wished to say in response was that he felt the same way. He knows you would have playfully hit him on the arm or something and thank him for the compliment.

A few more questions passed until it was getting close to the countdown. There was an ad break a few minutes before it started. You didn't want to be here, your heart was telling you to leave, take a flying taxi, find Kabu, find home, and be where you know you want to be. You slowly got up from the waiting area, ignoring the calling security, interviewer, and anyone else you just left.

Ten.

You ran, forgetting you had a flying taxi even though you thought about it moments ago. You only had one thing on your mind and that was reaching Kabu before the countdown was over. You ran, your legs wanting to stop but you wouldn't allow it, your lungs trying to take in all the cold air, and the fancy shoes on your feet making it even more difficult. You stopped and took them off, hastily picking them up then running again. No rock on the ground was stopping you from being where you wanted to be tonight.

Nine.

When the show came back on, you weren't there and he was confused. Apparently you had left abruptly, this caused him to worry and tried getting a hold of you through a text then called you.

Eight.

Kabu didn't know you ran off, leaving your items behind with only one goal in mind. His destination was within your line of sight and it made you push forward much faster, pushing your legs harder to make it before the time ran out.

Seven.

He wanted to be able to at least to see you through the screen as the countdown started. Where did you go? Why did you leave? Were you even okay? Now all he could think about was your well-being.

Six.

You were jogging past the hair salon, the many small stores on the sides, some which had people. People watching the Champion run to the elevator that would take you to Motostoke Stadium.

Five.

No one asked questions as you walked in, your legs almost wanting to give in. You continued, waving off others that wanted to help you walk towards the doors to the Stadium itself.

Four.

You stood in the tunnel for a couple of seconds, your eyes searching for Kabu. He who was watching the screen, hoping for your appearance or any news on your location.

Three.

The crowd spotted you first, the loud cheers startling Kabu as his eyes met yours when he turned his head in your direction. He never felt more relieved to see you there, why you had disappeared made much more sense to a lot people now that you were here.

Two.

With all the strength you could muster in your legs, you practically limped forward. Absolutely tired by the run and feeling like a whole idiot for not using a taxi when you could have at any point on your way here. He saw you panting, no shoes on your feet, you looked like quite the beautiful mess.

One.

No words are exchanged as you throw your arms around his neck, holding him in a tight embrace before your lips passionately meet his. He was slightly taken aback by the roughness of the kiss, you had his body right against yours, and a hand clutching the hair on the back his head. How long had it been since he has had something like this? He had forgotten how amazing this physical contact could feel and experiencing this made him feel as if it was a first kiss. Then the clock strikes twelve, your hold on him loosens, and its just you and him.

Your forehead was on his, you two were sharing breaths because of how long and sudden it was. Embarrassment hit you randomly when you realized there was a crowd, you left an interview, and Kabu was probably staring at you while you didn't dare open your eyes. Not until you could look at him and say something that didn't sound like you didn't know how to form sentences.

You could hear the crowd now, the whistling, the clapping, the stomping of their feet, any form of cheering the could make they did it.

"Another year of you and me," He said. "I am looking forward to another one." He gave you one chaste kiss for his own pleasure and you smiled.

"I look forward to another one too."