#im trying to convince the others to get accounts but they refuse

[top-script]

do you have a scratch account?

omg no way youre herons friend right? epic!

i do indeed have a scratch account under the same name (top-script)

[disneyprincemuke]

not a gamer * fem!driver

lando manages to convince her to start streaming on twitch with him, leading her to influence others to join her

pairings: max verstappen x fem!driver, lando norris x fem!driver, oscar piastri x fem!driver, logan sargeant x fem!driver

warnings: butt load of stupidity

notes: initially, i was gonna write a fic solely about max because he was talking about fornite the other day... but i thought how funny would it be if it were to be with some of the guys so here i am

(series masterlist) | (📂 the rookie season)

"hello, everyone," she smiles, reaching forward to adjust the camera as she squints her eyes. "is this a good angle? let me know if it's flattering, okay? i can't not look good on twitch."

lando has managed to convince her to join him for a stream on twitch, insisting that she should start an account as well. she initially refused, claiming that she's not that well-liked to start an account and have a loyal following. even adding on the fact that she's not even a good gamer to begin with.

but lando said that it doesn't matter, and proved her wrong by setting up a poll on his previous stream just to get her to make an account. which, the effort was very endearing.

"you always look good," she squints, turning away the right where her other monitor sits. she scrunches her nose and turns to the camera to stare into it. "logan, how did you even know i was streaming tonight?"

she rolls her eyes when his reply rolls in, claiming that he follows her twitter where she announced it. "it's time for you to go out and do something else besides stalking me, logan," she scoffs jokingly with the roll of her eyes.

"okay, so this is my first twitch stream!" she beams, sitting up straighter as she grabs her mouse. "i'm just waiting for lando to finish setting up, so i'm afraid you guys are stuck with me alone for a couple of minutes. let's get to know each other, i might be doing this pretty often this winter break just to have a bit of a hobby.

"i wanna know what you guys want to see from me."

a comment immediately rolls in.

user1: i wanna see you play fortnite with lando and max

she grins sheepishly, dropping her head. "guys, i'm not much of a gamer. never have been so this is actually my first time-ish touching games in a long while. my longest experience was playing roblox with my younger brother when we were younger."

user2: how about oscar or logan playing some games?

she presses her lips together, thinking of ways she could be able to convince her best friends to join her for some online games. when, neither of them has really dabbled much in the hobby. "i'm sure logan will be pretty keen to try, but i'm not so sure about oscar. i'll try to convince him, though he's back in australia for the majority of the break, unfortunately. the timezone difference is absolutely insane."

logansargeant: guys, ask her what her hobbies are

"logan, get off my chat!"

logansargeant: im gonna expose you on twitter for cyberbullying

logansargeant: #endcyberbullying2023

user3: #justice4logan

user4: #justice4logan

user5: u should talk about taylor swift

“oh, my god! i should!” she squeals. “we should host a listen party when she releases reputation! how good was the 1989 vault tracks?”

user6: omg ur so right

user7: iion slaps

user8: slut! is my favourite i think

“1989 had the best vault tracks,” she nods, lips pressed together. “my favourite is ‘now that we don’t talk’ because i like calling my mom.”

blythe.yln: where is lando!!!

“guys, i don’t know. he texted me 5 minutes ago saying he was setting up his pc,” she grins into the camera. “hopefully he’s here soon.”

dalton.yln: i miss oscar

oscahpastry: i miss u too

“you’ve got phones, yeah?” she grins, “use it instead of flooding my chat.”

user1: yeah guys, some of us are trying to get her attention

user9: u guys get that enough

user10: leave some for us pls

user11: yeah y so selfish

she scoffs. "right, guys? can you believe these people?"

the discord sound makes her jump, lando's voice filling up her headphones. "yo, i'm sorry! i was looking for my keyboard."

"where'd you find it, lando?"

"under the bed. apparently, that's where i kept it the last time i streamed," lando laughs. "okay, let's start off with a little horror game? it's called phasmophobia."

"a scary game?" she looks at the camera. "why would i willingly play that?"

"lando, i'm gonna kill you!" she screeches, eyes closing as the creepy sounds from the game boost in her headphones. she peeks through her eye, watching the two hands on her screen before the screen goes foggy.

lando's laughter replaces the eerie sounds of the game, making her roll her eyes. "i told you to hide and close the door!”

“i didn’t know where the stupid door even was!” she screams back, slamming the table. “lando, i don’t wanna play this game anymore!”

“but it’s so fun!”

“lando!”

logansargeant: that was funny

logansargeant: lemme join u some time

user11: omg

user11: half the grid’s gonna be on twitch?

“yeah, i’m so nice, right?” she jokes. “i’m letting them explore different career options. influencer era or something, i believe.”

oscahpastry: i only created an account to annoy her :/

seb.v5: same

user12: no shot thats actually sebastian vettel

maxverstappen1: so we are all just here waiting for an invite from these two???

logansargeant: theyre gatekeeping the stream from us :(

maxverstappen1: i wanna play fortnite

seb.v5: wait i know that game

maxverstappen1: let me join or i’ll report your account

“that’s not very nice, max,” she frowns. she looks away for a second. “lando, max says he’ll report my account if we don’t invite him to play fortnite.”

“oh, let him report you. just make another account, mate!” lando laughs. “ask him to join us phasmophobia! it’s so fun seeing you scream.”

she turns to the camera with a lopsided grin. “chat, tell lando you don’t wanna see me scream in phasmo anymore please. i’m sick of this game, i’ve got no idea what i’m doing, and i haven’t guessed the ghost correctly this entire time.”

logansargeant: keep playing phasmophobia u pussy

oscahpastry: yeah pussy

user5: its v entertaining icl

maxverstappen1: but phasmophobia costs money

“costs money?” she repeats, confusion on her face. “max? do you need financial aid?”

user10: isnt max a millionaire??????

user13: bro is complaining about a game that barely costs anything while getting paid millions a year 💀

oscahpastry: that’s wild ngl

maxverstappen1: wow i just got cyberbullied.

maxverstappen1: i’ll go get it now damn.

she sighs. “guess we’re continuing with this stupid game.”

“lando, where am i going?” max shouts, her character watching max’s go around in circles, flickering the flashlight on and off. “what am i even supposed to do?”

teaching one person how to play a complicated game like phasmophobia is easy. teaching two, however, is absolutely absurd. lando doesn’t know how much more of this he can take.

“lando, there’s something written in the book!” she cheers, crouching her character down. she leans into her monitor as she tries to make out what it says. “bitch, it says run!”

she quickly gets up and walks out. “don’t have to tell me twice.”

“run where?” max shouts, his character still running in circles. “(y/n), where are you? escort me out.”

“guys, just stay inside the house and help me out!” lando whines, his character flickering the flashlight at max’s. “turn around, max. i’m here with you.”

“i’m going to the van.”

“no, you’re not! come here and camp the ghost with us!”

“absolutely not! i’m so scared shitless!”

“we should’ve just played fortnite, you know.”

“guys, please! you just have to hold the equipment for me.”

“oh, my god! oh, my god! the front door is locked!” she screams. “the front door is locked!”

logansargeant: lol dsurv

oscahpastry: not so tough now (y/n)

user8: LMFAO THAT GHOST IS HUNTIN

user14: dude the chaos is insane

user15: i need her to stream everyday actually

user16: she’s gonna be an influencer i can feel it in my bones

user17: u guys should try valorant

oscahpastry: i’d join if they play valorant

user4: omg thats crazy

user18: i kinda want to see it

user19: max playing valorant? the rage that man would feel

“lando, i’m dead again!” she screeches, slamming her mouse down into her desk. “we should’ve just played fortnite.”

logansargeant: ur issues with the door are hilarious

user4: i’ll be thinking about your inability to hide in a room for days

oscahpastry: evidence that u wouldnt survive a horror movie at all

seb.v5: maybe you should stick to sitting there and looking pretty

user20: OMG SEB CALLED HER PRETTYYYYY

user21: are we all so shocked?

user22: yeah, he looks at that girl like she aligns the stars in the sky on a race weekend

user23: him during her podium celebration cured my depression (real)

logansargeant: girl why r u just stalking lando as a ghost

“lando,” she whispers. “i saw the ghost in the corner for the room.”

“what?” max asks, voice trembling slightly. “what corner?”

“that corner.”

“what corner?”

“there. i’m pointing at it.”

“i can’t see you, stupid. you’re dead.”

“then that’s too bad.”

“i figured what type of ghost it is!” lando cheers. “follow me, max. let’s get out of this stupid house and play your stupid fortnite or something.”

“oh, how lovely! i saw (y/n)’s chat… something about valorant,” max mutters, following lando through the dark house. “i’ve seen that on tiktok and it looks kinda- lando, why’d you close the door?”

“i told you i saw the ghost lurking more than usual,” she mutters.

“i don’t even know what that means!” max shouts.

“i didn’t close the door, mate!” lando laughs. “go and hide in a room, max!”

“where? i don’t know where to go!” max screams, frantically running around in hopes of finding solace somewhere.

her character follows behind the entity in the game, clearly running around to find max. “oh, she’s coming for you, max! she’s angry!”

“i don’t know where to go!” max screams, his character running by the entryway in confusion. “lando, where do i go?”

“max, she’s coming! go in the closet!”

“what closet? oh, okay! i see it!”

“close the door, max!”

“what door- oh! okay!”

“did he live?”

“i think so. the ghost is lurking outside max’s door,” she grins into the camera, watching the entity walk back and forth outside the room max is in.

“don’t come out yet.”

“not even a chance, mate.”

“okay, she’s gone,” she sighs. “i’m gonna log out and create an account on fortnite.”

“we’re not gonna play valorant?”

“okay, chat, we’re waiting for oscar to finish the tutorial,” she smiles. “we should be in our first game in a couple of minutes.”

user24: bro ur tutorial was horrendous

user25: i love watching people be bad at valorant

user26: shes so real for that though

user27: she’d play sage for sure

seb.v5: i can’t believe you got oscar to join you

user28: and logan 🤨

user17: outrageous that i’ve been begging the grid to join lando’s streams and here she comes casually getting them to play silly games

user3: real

user28: everyone say thank you (y/n)

blythe.yln: i can’t believe u didnt ask me to join u

blythe.yln: i’m the best at valorant

blythe.yln: i’m better than dalton

user29: YES BLYTHE SPEAK YOUR TRUTH

“so, what do i do again, dalton?” lando asks softly. “what’s the ‘e’ button do?”

“puts up a wall,” the younger kid says. “and then it heals you too, but damages other people. even your teammates.”

“who’s this eminem looking bro?” max asks, giggling slightly. “frank ocean, i saw on tiktok.”

user30: my roman empire is blythe being a pro valorant player but this is the first time her sister is trying the game

“well, i’m sorry for doing other things than playing valorant,” she jokes with a smile. “but, yes, guys! blythe plays valorant for a living which is exactly why we didn’t invite her to play.”

user31: blythe is a pro val player!!?!?!?

user31: since when??

blythe.yln: yeah guys follow my twitch, i’ll treat u better

“i’m going to ban you from my chat if you keep marketing, blythe,” she frowns, though a smile creeping up on her face. “where is dalton?”

blythe.yln: dalton is my valorant spawn… i taught him what he knows

user31: dalton to go pro in a couple years?

user32: omg that’s crazy

user1: the yln’s are gonna take over the valorant scene

user6: blythe getting a redbull gaming clutch would be to die for

“mate, dalton, what’s this girl in the yellow jacket do? she looks stylish,” oscar asks.

“she’s got a turret and grenades,” dalton answers simply.

“alright, how do i get her?”

“you gotta play the game.”

“oh, what? that’s so unfair.”

“yeah, i’m sure that sucks that you’ve got to play the game, oscar,” she says. “where is logan?”

“i’m sorry,” the sigh in logan’s sentence making her laugh. “i got stuck.”

“how?” oscar asks with a laugh. “they literally tell you what to do.”

“i couldn’t find the buttons they were asking me to press,” logan mumbles with a hint of disappointment.

“are you actually intellectually hindered, mate?” she cries with a laugh, covering her eyes. “do you not frequent a laptop?”

“not really, no.”

“it shows,” oscar adds on.

blythe.yln: he’s gonna be shit

user5: so real i can alr see it

user11: dude they’re gonna be screaming at each other soon

“let’s do a quick test game,” dalton mutters as logan’s in-game name pops up on the screen. “just a short game.”

“with real people?” lando asks in a small voice. “that can trash talk me?”

“just trash talk them back, mate,” max answers. “easy.”

“just find their ip address and hit them,” logan suggests. “that’s easier.”

“what?”

“don’t pretend like you wouldn’t do it too, (y/n)!” logan whines. “come on, let’s start!”

“how do i defuse the spike?” max screams, looking at the ground as he runs around. “where even is it?”

“your left,” dalton says. “keep walking.”

blythe is now sat next to her older sister, leg propped up in her seat as she watches the screen.

“okay, okay, go to the right and look right here,” blythe mutters, pointing at the screen. “and then aim right here,” she adjusts her sister’s mouse, “when you see somebody, shoot.”

“that’s not fair. (y/n)’s literally got a pro helping her with the game,” oscar complains.

“you’re dead. literally doesn’t matter if someone’s helping you or not,” logan states. “we suck, man.”

“okay, i figured out how to defuse the bomb,” max says softly. “what now?”

“learn to play better,” blythe says loud enough for the microphone to pick up her voice. “i’ll teach you guys.”

“thank you for tuning into my stream,” she grins with a clap. “i appreciate all of the support and teaching me how to play the games. and roasting me.”

logansargeant: bro we suck

seb.v5: should stick to racing and leave gaming to blythe and dalton

“i read each and every comment you guys sent in the chat and they’re all very endearing. except yours, seb,” she stares into the camera with a stern expression, “yours were just outright unnecessary and kinda mean.”

oscahpastry: start a podcast next

maxverstappen1: i wanna be first guest

user16: please stream regularly!!

user10: make oscar play lethal company or i’ll cry

oscahpastry: stop giving her ideas

user21: when r u streaming again

“i will try to stream in a couple of days, after my shoots and marketing stuff with the team,” she grins. “thank you for watching me scream for 4 hours. catch you guys soon. stay kind and stay safe.”

user2: i’ll miss you 🫶🏼

taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @inejismywife @vellicora @leilanixx @meadhgbcavanagh @2bormaybenot @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @cashtons-wife @love4lando @sadg3 @bborra @a10vely-yutazen @mellowarcadefun

[demisexual-in-distress]

Any *SHNIFFFFF* helluva and/or hazbin headcanons??? o-o

*AHEHEHEHEM* I CAN RANT YES UR SUMMONING MY INNER NERD (LONG) (SORRY THIS HAS BEEN ROTTING IN MY ASK BOX IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR A WHILE NOW)

pls dont flop i spent way too many hours on this lol only doing 6 (six) from the main casts!!! And, sadly, no, Fizzarolli is not included, though I do love him dearly.

Helluva Headcanons:

Blitz:

frickin loves spirit

(saw this somewhere else not sure where) huge-ass horns scratch up his couch, hence the shitty tears

Makes sure to cherish Loona as much as possible on her bday bc of trauma from his childhood

Wants to be the parent possible to her also due to trauma (daddy issues :\)

Insecure about his scars :(

Lost Verosika because he adopted Loona in a last-ditch effort to save their relationship, but refused to get rid of her when V wasn't a fan

Eats anything and everything Brandon Rogers does (canon??) (such as cheese and hotsauce)

Told Barbie about his crush on Fizz before trying to tell Fizz himself

never grew out of bands he liked as a teen

Undiagnosed learning disabilites (dyslexia? he tries his best)

Poor education

(TW, S.A.) Stolas:

WATCHES EVERY TELENOVELA IN THE GODDAMN BOOK

Also enjoys musicals and constantly sings soundtracks while alone (projecting a bit)

Genuinely wants Via and Loona to hang out; wants some sort of father-daughter bond? with Loona, but isn't sure how to approach her

was verbally, physically, and sexually abused by Stella in their "relationship"

GREY'S ANATOMY

I think we all know this by now... Eyeliner.

Black sheep (canon?)

plays some sort of classical instrument idk (piano?)

PAINTS (happy little trees)

Big fan of Cruel Prince series yk

Big fan of fantasy in general

Nerds abt astronomy to Via

Adelle. No other words.

Wattpad user u can't convince me otherwise

Definitely neurodivergent

Millie:

Dyed Sallie Mae's hair when she transitioned, was a makeshift hairdresser for a little while (till Sal figured out how to do it herself)

Had a lot of pets as a child

Tries to stay in contact with all her siblings. Emphasis on tries.

Used to get homesick A LOT

Homeschooled

Ik it's a common one now, but babysat Loona while Blitz was in prison, leading to her and Moxxie meeting

THIS GURL CAN HANDLE HER DAMN DRINKS ‼️

Best homemade recipes by far

Has and will not hesitate to eat a bug once more

Very organized

Moxxie:

Likes to write

MUSICALS (canon) he loves phantom, les mis, and a gentleman's guide to love and murder (ahahhaem Bryce pinkham)

Has many hyperfixations! AUDHD

Loves kids, but gets overstimulated/overwhelmed when taking care of them

In severe need of validation due to trauma

Cat person

Out on a limb here but likes pottery

Bouncy leg stim yk

Panic! At the Disco led to his bi realization

Violinist just trust me

Loves mice for some odd reason

Gullible? Is that canon?

Can sketch pretty good!

Overwhelmed by loud noises and crowded spaces

Loona:

ACE SPECTRUM!!!!

Watches movies with blitz late at night as a tradition

Taught Blitz makeup tips for when he does his weird drag human disguise thing

follows 666 News on the hotel's strange journey

percussionistcore idk how else to say that

Knows EXACTLY how to deal with a hangover (ty blitz)

Social anxiety (might break this down in a seperate post cuz im in a ranty mood)

Has seen the show daria (or at least the hell version) (yall better kno wut im talking about)

Tries not to spend too much / is gentle with Blitz's bank account

Octavia:

Deep down, a sanrio girl is born

Nightcore bitches u already know

Very polarized when it comes to her relationship with stolas (canon?)

Has attempted to bring Stolas into her world - definitely shares her special interests with him, he tries his best to support

Plays at least ONE classical instrument bc she wanted to make Stolas proud :,) (never said she was good at it)

Very sheltered when it comes to Stolas and Stella's actual relationship toward each other

avid collector of taxidermy and other creepy things

She definitely knows those OG goth dances

Photography!!

Dr Martens do i have to say more

Hazbin Headcanons:

TW for Angel Dust and Niffty's (of all people), S.A. mentions.

Charlie:

YA sapphic romances!!!

Webtoon freak

Pinterest whore

Listens to Katy Perry + Hayley Kiyoko

Sanrio again!! Aggretsuko or Chococat r her favs

Can genuinely help people through tough times

Autism spectrum? a little out on a limb here, but she seems to have a hard time breaking down the psychology of sinning/sinners

Paints Vaggie's nails all the time

Vaggie was so her bi awakening; Seviathan and Vaggie were her only two relationships

CATS!!

LOVES Pixy Stix yk they're just straight up sugar

has a diary lol

ADHD

Vaggie:

feels so indebted to Charlie because of how much she took care of her after Falling

girl in red kind of sapphic

Struggles with self-worth

Definitely best exorcist girl on Adam's team

Lute was searching for a reason to get rid of her

brushes Charlie's hair idk

Candles. I don't know why

OPENS/CLOSES DOORS WITH THOSE HUGE ASS HIPS IDK ITS JUST RIGHT TO ME

Doesn't have the heart to tell Charlie when she's not fully correct on something

Origami

Wakes up at ungodly hours due to nightmares and anxiety, lock checks the hotel ALL THE TIME

honestly, tumblr user, silent reblogs

Alastor (sorry, most deal with his time alive):

Genuinely beginning to care for the hotel-- it scares him.

DADDY ISSUES + MOMMY ISSUES HE'S COLLECTED THEM ALL!!!!

Follow up: traumatic childhood

Mauled by dogs (is this still canon? Was this ever canon? DOES ANYBODY REMEMBER THAT???)

Knows the basics of technology, refuses to acknowledge it

Constantly playing jazz music from his radio in his room

Has a very vivid memory of his past, will not let himself forget it

Needs fucking glasses but that monocle don't do shit

Tea > coffee

Was convinced his asexuality was a flaw after being told so

Held onto Mimzy for the sake of nostalgia and memories of time alive

Insomniac

Nerd for jazz

Spoke some French as a child, though he isn't fluent

Husk's and Angel's get a bit detailed... I'm a slut for characters with such a vast possibility of headcanons

Husk (yeah I realize this won't make as much sense if you don't know all of his lore because of my obsession with him, I'll clarify what's already canon):

BLEEDS INTO ALASTOR, ALSO STRANGELY DETAILED: While alive, Husk played the saxophone professionally (canon). In his afterlife, as an overlord, he had one and continued to play bc us musicians r weird fucks who love to torture ourselves. Alastor knew he could play, and, being a jazz lover, LOVES that aspect of Husk. Just about the only thing he likes about him. Now, at the hotel, while he no longer plays, Alastor still brought his saxophone, which rots in Husk's closet.

Niffty's in his room ALL THE FUCKING TIME, it can't possibly get dirty

Doesn't make a mess to begin with--- husk hasn't personalized his room at all since he arrived, he doesn't know when Alastor will pull him out

Is used to that kind of travel anyways, since he did so much when he was alive (canon!!)

Never was that close to his parents-- they were busy with the (canon->) casino

Is (surprisingly) educated on LGBTQIA+ terms, labels, and knows about the most important landmark events in the community's history, he just prefers not to use labels for himself

Close to Niffty, has had conversations with her in Japanese (canonically speaks it) to prevent Alastor from understanding

Always wanted kids, knew he didn't have a stable enough life to have them and didn't want them to have a repeat of his own parents' absence in his childhood

MIXED RACE!! A bit of everything, I'd like to say

Had glasses when he was alive, where the fuck did they go in the afterlife

ACE SPECTRUM (previous post)!!! Demisexual & demiromantic (can u tell I'm projecting a lil???)

Hates KeeKee

Hates large crowds + loud noises, idk it speaks to me, especially with those big ass ears

I don't fully lean towards him being neurodivergent, though I do believe that Husk likes to have something to do with his hands as a form of stimming, if that makes sense

Alone most of his life

(TW, S.A.) Angel Dust (a lot of when he was alive):

Lived with Molly while alive

Was disowned when he got the courage to come out to his dad, fell out of the mafia and had to make a living for the first time ever

Wanted to be an actor, never got casted (while alive) due to being queer

Valentino romanticized his career, making him believe that he wouldn't always be the actor that he is

Career was also romanticized by the fact that he was finally accepted as gay

Performed in drag at gay bars

Borrowed dresses, makeup, other "feminine" things/accesories from Molly, who had a similar style

Isn't as up-to-date with technology and modern things as he seems to be

Tries to cover up both (slight) italian and New York(er?) accent, fails miserably

Had fish while alive (canonically loves fish lol)

Brother + father didn't attend his funeral

Met Cherri very close to when she arrived in Hell

learns more about media and pop culture from Cherri

Originally was in something like a relationship with Val, but it was more of S.A. than consenting sex after a while. When he began to disagree, this showed more prominently.

I don't have anything for Niffty except for one thing, so trigger warning once more. I believe that Niffty came from an immigrant family from Japan—half white. In the 50s, housewives got a bit stir-crazy from all the work they did, leading to hysteria, anxiety, depression, and other issues. In some situation where leaving the house was necessary, I believe one or multiple guys, possibly older, attempted to sexually assault Niffty. Asian girls, such as myself, that look like that "stereotypical" East Asian, young, small, etc., are fetishized. Niffty must've been little, judging by her form, and she was also an immigrant, and also a WOMAN—seen as lesser. In self-defense, she killed him (or all of them? I'm leaning toward it being multiple), having had enough. She was soon diagnosed with the housewife syndrome and lobotomized, meaning they gave her SEVERE brain damage, hence her twisted mind in the afterlife.

Overall, Niffty is a character that we don't know much about yet. Of course I'll write my own story over that. Playing with fandoms is just what I do. :) While I do genuinely believe the part about her being lobotomized will become canon, the rest is, again, just something that's been brewing in my head for a while. Maybe I'll incorporate it in my own writing, who knows?

I wanna see other headcanons in the reblogs and replies :D If this does well, I always have more!

[prettyboykatsuki]

TELL US THE LORE????

dkjfhsdgj ITS KIND DERANGED LMAOO. sorry for yapping about her backstory but its relevant to their insane dynamic lmao

my self insert / oc is basically like. disillusioned software engineer. shes based off edward snowden. she's from the planet of talia (which is desert wasteland) and she's an orphan and was raised with other bandit gangs lol. she learned how to write software and engineer thru trial and error. she's an orphan and doesn't really have any family with the exceptions of like two people she considers. but no blood. no idea who her parents are lol

she gets picked up by the ipc when she's in her teen years because she gets caught trying to steal from them using some phishing software she made. they offer recruitment instead of jail-time bc her skillsets are valuable and she sees it as a good opportunity.

she quickly finds out the ipc is crazy corrupt and she gets really like. she wants to get out but the contract is insane. so she basically. like. steals a bunch of money from the ipc and then goes permanently on the run LMAO.

she finds refuge in different planets but the ipc is everywhere. she keeps stealing from them though and interrupting their business models. very robinhood i guess. she has more of a moral conscience than other inserts i make she's really upright.

her personality is really like super antisocial and paranoid. complete loser forreal. after all that jumping around, she ends up hiding in penacony bc its huge and even with ipc presence, it's really easy for the blend in

this is where her relationship with sunday starts. he's really into her because he doesn't like the IPC for one, but also because he finds her to be benevolent (and she is to her credit she's really morally upright). he offers her like . complete refuge and protection in exchange for being part of the family.

she. adamantly refuses this proposition (he will keep asking though) but offers to work for the family as a contractor in exchange for protection. sunday agrees, she's an important and valuable asset with tons of insider information but also he feels weirdly comfortable around her.

they have such a weird relationship LMAOOOAOAOA. sunday develops this very possessive feeling about her and is really coercive and manipulative to her in general. he comes and goes as he pleases but she's not allowed to stray too far. quick to tug her leash basically. he has a really complete control over her and he's paranoid about her trying to leave him. always pulling her into corners and being kind of humiliating and controlling about how she dresses and acts etc

THE INSANE THING IS THAT SHE'S KIND OF. FINE WITH IT. she's really aware that sunday is crazy and manipulative and batshit. but she has HELLA abandonment issues because she has no "home." sunday constantly breathing down her back to stay with him and be his possesion gives her a comfortable sense of belonging and she doesn't think of him as evil - so she's weirdly content with him and just wants to be with him

SOMETIMES. WHEN SUNDAY IS IN A GOOD MOOD. he'll ask her what he wants and he's always expecting her to like beg for her own freedom but she never does. always asks for like intimacy like bathing together and cuddling. and it always shocks sunday LMAOAOA because he's convinced she secretly depsises him but its like dude. Lol.

they're genuinely so in love. this is deranged im aware but they really genuinely love each other and feel understood by one another. but its insane by all accounts

[adventures-in-teyvat]

genshin on a minecraft smp

there was this prompt on reddit i saw asking what the characters would be like on an smp and this was what i came up with :) really silly and fun, i actually really enjoyed thinking about this

yoimiya is the redstone maniac, and she’d probably help klee build really complex tnt contraptions to grief the server

diluc is the mob farmer; builds the entire structure and spends literally all his time farming and enchanting. probably also enslaves the villagers

klee builds a zoo but the only thing inside of it is creeper exhibits

nahida’s the gardener, kaveh probably helps her build automatic farms and all the cool shit

bennett dies all the time—falling into lava after just having found diamonds, a bunch of creepers snuck up on him, etc etc. he can literally never progress in the game because he loses everything and anything he builds gets exploded by creepers (or klee)

xingqiu is just the little shit who steals stuff and does small bits of griefing. im also convinced that he and fischl would be writing a roleplay script for the server and forcing everyone else to comply

nilou is just sweet and happy, she just wants to build a pretty home and get along with everyone :) she’s the one who always helps others out no matter what, whether they need food, weapons, armor, or blocks, she almost always has something to help, and if she doesn’t then she’d be willing to help you get it.

wanderer grinds everything by himself and completely ignores everyone. might even try to beat the dragon by himself too. xingqiu and fischl explain him in the lore as the rude old man who no one ever sees, but occasionally he will grant luxurious gifts to anyone he deems mildly tolerable. the only people who have ever received such gifts are sayu and layla because they do jack shit and are afk most of the time, and he thinks it’s funny.

venti is the first one with elytra. cons yoimiya into giving him all her fireworks. farms music discs

albedo and sucrose are predictably the ones with all the potions. they’ve also scoured the nether; they know it better than anyone else, and they make all the ice bridges for quick nether travel.

layla and sayu are always the ones asking to sleep first—if he is online, there will be a following “fuck you” from diluc, as he is the server’s resident mob farmer and batman kinnie

alhaitham refuses to participate in the “lore” because “fuck you” (fischl cries) (xingqiu demands a duel, for thou hast made his fair lady shed a tear) (alhaitham obliterates him and goes on with his day)

xiangling forces chongyun to share a house with her because the only thing she wants to do is make a farm and kill animals and throw food at everyone and thats literally it. she’s probably really frustrated there aren’t more elaborate meals to make. forces chongyun to build the house and mine and get armor and weapons and literally anything that doesn’t have to do with food (xingqiu visits sometimes to say hi to xiangling and then bully chongyun). she probably also mooches off of nahida and kaveh’s automatic farms

cyno is immediately elected chief of police in the “lore” (the only other people on this “police force” are xiao and heizou)

xiao is completely serious about his job, heizou is not. cyno is a mix of the two. basically all they do is show up occasionally and act really intimidating (or, in heizou’s case, flirt with everyone). yanfei (the judge in the lore) is sick of them for wrongfully incarcerating innocent people over and over again

tighnari and collei have an ACTUAL zoo that isn’t just full of creepers

diona lives with diluc and literally the only thing she does is breed cats, she has so many that it lags the server if you walk into the chunk, so the “police” have sometimes had to stop by and make her spread them out. she’ll comply but then the next day there will be even more cats because she does everything out of spite. also steals everyone’s nametags. she is a convicted felon, charged with multiple accounts of armed robbery, assault, and intentional failure to comply with the wishes of the server, which resulted in harm to one or more players or the entire server (it nearly becomes unplayable because of all the cats so they ban her)

zhongli terraforms the shit out of everything

dori creates a monopoly off of some resource by taking all of it in the vicinity and anywhere remotely nearby so that if someone didnt want to buy it from her they’d have to run thousands of blocks away

fischl builds the entire castle from last year’s summer event, crowns herself prinzessin, and appoints her knights (kaeya, mika, jean, bennett, razor) who start to have beef with the police and then there’s a war and then it gets resolved by klee and yoimiya blowing everything up

[fakescenariosb4ho3s]

Doing the Thing - A rant I was surprised I was driven to write

Ever since I got on social media, I always wanted to post things.

I never really wanted fame, because it would just make me more anxious, and money, while not unwelcome, I would’ve preferred to earn in a “real job” (idek what’s real anymore I always just liked the idea of having a big boy/in person job don’t listen to me). I wanted to be a part of that community. People posting the art they made, stories based on other stories, pilots they were going to pitch or memes they made just because they could. As brainrot-inducing all of it definitely was, I wouldn’t have survived my teen years or the pandemic without discovering this new world where I could be myself with other people who wanted the same thing.

However, I never posted. Something inside always stopped me. Anything I ever put onto a page, thoughts I actually got out of my system, was immediately deemed not good enough. I decided it didn’t deserve to be seen before anybody saw it, it would stay in my mind where it couldn’t be scrutinized and exist in ignorant bliss. I still wanted to post, though. Not even post sometimes, I just wanted to be able to “do the thing,” so to speak. I kept waiting until I was perfect to do it yet I was too scared to practice and kept pushing my own deadline forward. I saw so many people around me, not just on social media, doing things because they wanted to. Making things for themselves, for small businesses, for their schools, because they wanted to. I was so mad at myself for never being able to execute my ideas despite believing deep down that they were never good enough to exist.

This mentality has followed me for way too many fucking years, and, due to my fear of turning eighteen and anxiety about the how the world will end, I’ve finally convinced myself what I always refused to believe:

Nobody cares.

I’m sure this is common knowledge by now, but I’m a slightly more sheltered person, so bear with me. Nobody cares about what you do. You may think they care because they comment on it, but they only do it because they’re either trying to convince themselves something or don’t have anything better to do. If I started posting literally anything tomorrow or in the next five minutes, nobody would stop to analyze why I was doing it or if I was doing it the wrong way. They’d just choose to like it or not and move on with their own lives. I am so sick of feeling so inferior when the world is passing me by. I want to be a part of it before we all get set on fire. Who cares if what I’ve said or done had already been said or done? IM doing it now, I’m making this MY time.

The reason I’m writing this at all is because of TikTok being banned in the US (I’ve heard news of it already being back now, but who knows how long it’ll last). I see these posts from American creators, talking about how TikTok and the community saved their lives and how they never thought they’d get the following that they did just by doing what they loved. I always told myself that I could have an account like that one day, one that would make other people happy or inspired, but I never did out of fear (and undiagnosed adhd + rsd but I don’t like blaming my actions/inactions on disorders I can’t confirm I have). It felt like I lost an opportunity by waiting too long all because I wasn’t “perfect” enough, even though it literally doesn’t matter what you post. I want to show whoever is listening that I am here doing what I want to do, albeit imperfectly and very slowly. I want to draw, write, perform, create, and I’ll be damned if I let another day slip through my fingers. If a source of such happiness/community can be taken away from people that quickly, I don’t want to regret not being a part of it before Canada eventually bans TikTok as well.

I know for a fact that I’m going to back stumble on this new mentality very quickly, especially during this difficult period of high school, but I really just want to do this for my own piece of mind. I want to tell myself that I accomplished something instead of just envisioning it, whether that’s with five or fifty posts of good or bad art.

So today, I’ll be posting some anatomy sketches I did to help study for my animation portfolio for Sheridan College (art account: @marzy-barzy-artzy). I hope whoever reads this sees where I’m coming from, and is inspired to just go out and DO THE THING. This is also a call to watch all those shows you’ve been putting off watching, because who knows when the government will start banning streaming services or shows they find corrupting. Don’t let another Infinity Train slip your fingers. Okay bai!!!

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

do you think at the end of episode 5 agatha was purposefully trying to provoke billy to see what he would do/what he could do/how powerful he is

bc the game shes playing in that conversation feels like it has two sides to me. half of it feels kinda earnest (even more so if you put the two scenes at the end of ep5 and ep6 back to back bc shes honest abt how she feels abt him) and the other half is clearly not and the motivations for the game shes playing are still obscure to me but i think basically reconnaissance wouldnt be implausible right?

bc theres smth weird with the magic she got from alice, right? smth seems off with that, doesnt seem to work like it should idk

billy interrupts her and so the defensive impulse is to say she couldnt control it bc thats what you would say whether it's true or not, right, hands off the responsability. i dont know if it's true but i kinda think it is (or hope it to be bc i think it'd be so much more fun if she really cant control it) because of the way she responds to his "dont lie to me". she seems taken aback like she actually wouldnt lie to him. idk if she would, i mean, about something important. technically i guess being neighbour agnes was already lying, but i dont know if she has explicitly lied to him in this show? or if she just refuses to answer sometimes rather. if we dont count lies by omission idk what was i saying

oh yeah, so they get interrupted before we can get clarity on the control thing bc billy says "you wanted her power, thats what it's always been about for you, isnt it" and jen says "of course it is, thats what it is about for all of us" so agatha doesnt get a chance to respond to "you wanted her power". personally im not convinced she did mostly bc it seems like a bad strategy and she clearly knows how to lead, right? and she just begged them not to leave her and killing one of them would not be super good for her odds of not leaving her behind would it. just seems like a bad idea, to me, at this point, and i dont think she'd gamble on it, it worsens her chances rn to kill any of this coven it seems to me. purely strategically, i dont think she wants to just suck every one of them dry once theyve served their trial purpose. before they got on the road, sure, that can work but now? nuh-uh "fly together or not at all" if she still needs one of them she needs them all and taking into account the extremely raw witchhunt/mobbing trauma, i can imagine one of her main preoccupations since they got on the road is just to avoid making them all turn on her

so i dont think she wanted alice's power, necessarily, and then billy says "so that what it means to be a witch? killing people to serve your own agenda? not for me" and then she flips tone

and ive seen people say shes angry and like probably i dont really know the mcu and i dont really know the deal with wanda or what agatha might be feel there, i mean understandably pissed off abt the westview situation sure but what i mostly read here is careful curiosity which is why i said reconnaissance earlier. he says "not for me" and she tilts her head like "oh no? isnt it?" and that could be like annoyed scepticism, and im sure it is partly, but i also think theres a part where she wants to know where he stands then. where he stands and how he can be pushed. bc the rules of engagement have shifted now that hes not hiding or hidden and if she wants to know how to manage him she needs to know his buttons. like in episode 3 when she redirected all the witches from the mystery of the sigil back to the goal of the road. "you want to unbind, you want to reverse your fortune, you wanna find out what happened to mommy". she doesnt know why billy is here and she wastes no time trying to find out bc she needs to bc thats where she has a modicum of hope of control here

so when he says no the power is not for me she needs to figure out what does drive him, which might still be power of course despite his claims, but thats what i think the rest of the scene (including ep6) shes doing

she asks him "are you sure?" see how he reacts. she mentions his mother, she taunts him "pet", see if she can provoke him. and she does. on purpose i think. how convinced is he of his principles, how in control is he of his powers, what can he do, what does he want. and perhaps can she destabilise him enough to get the upper hand again

and she does i think again after she climbs out of the mud. or at least hes not above her anymore, not a threat while shes vulnerable and hes justifiably angry abt a murder shes committed. shes back to leading, she emphasises his lack of control and emotionally destabilising murders

[driflooningaway]

hi im casket or cask for short. it and its pronouns.

drifloon stole me a phone and one of the phantump helped me set this up. they convinced me to get one of these because apparently when they were alive this was fun for them

by the way i am sorry if i do not post or talk much with people on here. i am not a very social person. also i am sorry if my grammar is bad i did not have an education.

i do not know what to do on here but i am here i guess. i am not used to these devices or this site so phantump is guiding me.

do not have any pokemon but i do live in these ruins with my friends.

drifloon

drifloon watches over me and is my guardian. when they first found me they tried convincing me to go to the afterlife with them and kept dragging my hand. i refused and now i live with them

phantump

there are multiple phantump around here but this phantump is my best friend and i love them. they are the one who convinced me to get this account

he is also the only one who can read and write for some reason.

trevenant

watches over the forest. watches me while i sleep. makes sure no one gets hurt

banette

an abandoned doll me and drifloon found in the city. popped drifloon once. our ward. (i am unsure if i am using that word correctly.)

spinach

hisuian zorua. very angry. should probably be dead but is not.

i live with many others but i do not really want to type anymore sorry also i dont really care

message me about anything if you like. phantump says i need to talk to people.

(OOC: All OOC posts and or words are all in purple btw!! Musharna Mail and Pelipper Mail are both on! also send whatever asks you want. i do not care what you send. go batshit insane.)

Anyways hi!! I got bored and decided to make another one of these. also im sorry if the grammar is a little iffy- thats intentional.

btw, both me and casket are socially awkward freaks who have been deprived of human contact so i apologize if i barely interact with anyone or seem unapproachable😭 one im trying to stay as in character as possible and two i am just. naturally like this.

so yeah!! thats all for now.

[alaskan-wallflower]

im thinking thoughts…have them. stan and kyle as gym bros. i love them sm. (NOT A SHIP just dudes being bros)

it was kyle’s idea during a basketball off season to start going to an actual gym but he wanted an accountability buddy so he convinced stan to join with him. unfortunately stan doesn’t wanna go half the time (he is busy with warhammer 4k) and kyle has to drag him by his feet to the car because god forbid he miss a workout but also god forbid he have to ask some beefhead to spot him

kyle is so judgmental of the other guys in the gym that grunt and slam weights and snort creatine off their biceps, stan is like “just ignore it dude” and kyle is like “🙄oh my god they are so annoying and no one is impressed by them and yayayayaya” u know how he is.. he’s probably told one or two to SHUT UP and it worked cus he used the jersey powers.

they would encourage each other and kyle would never judge stan for anything. they do rip on each other a little for fun though and get into some friendly competition, it’s harmless. stan prefers working his upper body, kyle is all about legs. gotta keep that butt. stan refuses to do cardio because it makes his asthma act up but kyle is a runner. though i think he would prefer running outside rather than a treadmill, so he doesn’t do that at the gym.

kyle takes preworkout for MaXimUm GAInS (he was persuaded by some tiktok) and once stan took some but it made him so anxious he threw up. aw.

its just a thing that they do together and they bond over and it ends up helping stan’s mental health so much and improving kyle’s confidence. kyle unfortunately would get so confident that he would make some really cringe gym tiktoks. (you know that one glow up trend. the “16 missed calls” one. he would fucking do that) and even though stan is all strong now, shelley can still take his ass down with ease

ok thats all i got for now

y’know what? i can see this

used to go to the gym myself during the summer (had a bad habit of skipping out during school because i got busy-i’m old enough to get a membership now though) and i’ve experienced true gym bros. like the ones who come out with their dumb little towels and slam the weights. it’s annoying lol-i get where kyle is coming from

and i can see him dragging stan along. he tried getting the whole group to go but when he asked cartman to spot him he wouldn’t do it, and when he did he let go of the weight. kyle nearly broke his back. maybe even broke a rib from it. cartman didn’t care. kenny was trying but with how much he works he’s usually unable to go. and his work schedule night as well be a workout for him. so it’s just stan and kyle.

stan probably kinda just sits there and watches for the most part. he works his arms and legs but that’s about it. like you said, he can’t go too far because of his asthma. likewise, kyle can’t go too far because of his diabetes, which frustrates him immensely. he tries to push himself when it comes to working out so someone usually has to intervene before he has a diabetic crisis. kyle defo has that sleeper build tho

(side note and a bit off topic but i feel like kyle would technically be overweight, but not with fat. muscle weighs more than fat, and kyle is mostly muscle, therefore i feel like he would classify as overweight but he’s not like chubby or anything. cartman keeps insisting on calling kyle fatass and saying ‘kyle being overweight is karma’ but he doesn’t seem to get that the way kyle is overweight and the way cartman is overweight are vastly different)

anyway. great headcanons, i love love love!!

[sparxwrites]

The Asshole-Of-The-Internet AU

sparx god. dsmp has internet and comms are iPhones and tommy gets banned from dsmp Twitter so he has to anonpost on dsmp 4chan

hoodie RKJGHRKGHKJGHERHGJHRHGH TOMMY ON 4CHAN OH NO

sparx …………oh no now I have “what if asshole-end-of-the-internet dsmp au” 4chan kiwifarms whatever else

hoodie they try to radicalize him but it doesnt work bc he literally is in exile

sparx SCREAMING okay but au where dream runs 4chan. Wilbur stars as null who fucks up 4chan and then makes kiwifarms when he gets run off the site. tommy is the normie they’re both desperately trying to recruit. Schlatt runs rise of kings or whatever tf the pick-up artist site is called

hoodie OH MY GOD YES

sparx this is perhaps the worst thing ever I have had in my head and I do not say that lightly

hoodie its SO fucking funny tho tommy in the reddit dms with wilbur who is trying so so hard to get him to join his site but tommy just keeps asking how many bitches wilbur gets from kiwifarms and wilbur has to say 'niki left me bc i made the site'

sparx SFAHDJFKGKGLSGSHDKGHRKRL niki left Wilbur and went to found ovarit which i think is like. the radfem site heghghgh

hoodieRJKHRJGHGH wilbur radicalised niki

sparx his dick was so shit it radicalised niki………….. George on 4chan but he just fuckinf sucks at being nasty and keeps messaging dream like “there r people being racist on here :/“

hoodie george on 4chan telling ppl to stop saying slurs

sparx YEAH YEAH u see my vision

hoodie george: idk this is kind of mean :/  dream, typing out smth incredibly evil: its just the internet it doesnt matter

sparx dream has to pretend occasionally he has morals for the sake of the bussy which he still has yet to get him and quackity are moots on some incel website

hoodie hes in it for the long game RJHGH quackity is on an incel website bc sapnap and karl left him

sparx he watches Schlatt’s webinars on negging

hoodie REJGHRJHHG quackity: takes notes so he can use it to win back sapnap quackity is literally the only gay person in a sea of pathetic straight men who are threats to society

sparx diversity win! this homosexual is a pathetic man who’s a threat to society <3 techno bc he is a chad only has a Snapchat that he uses to post gym thirst trap gains pics

hoodie RGJHJGRHGH sapnap is also a chad who only has snapchat he and techno have each other added so they can compare gains quackity hate screenshots all of their posts and jerks off to them in the private of his sad sad studio apartment

sparx HRGHRJGJGKD YES Karl makes Twitter threads so long u gotta use that unroll app for them and refuses to add image descriptions tho george keeps begging him

hoodie RHGERJHGHG why is george the most moral person in this au im crying hes just a normal guy trying to do the right thing

sparx Tubbo runs a parody account of a major political figure, except he’s actually very smart and has a lot of good ideas and the political figure is very stupid and so a) many people think tubbo’s account is actually the real one and news outlets regularly report his tweets as tho they’re fact, and b) he realises slowly that the guy he’s parodying is actually copying his ideas

hoodie ERJGHEGHERJGHKJERHGJGHERJHGJHGERJGHJGHRJGHRGH THATS....OH MY GOD wait what if the political figure is like Eret or smth

sparx Tommy: tubbo they banned me from 4chan :(  Tubbo, typing under his “@scrotus” account: wait a second Tommy I’m trying to influence international trade policy with China

hoodie KJERGHEKJGHJRGHGHRJGRHJGH clingyduo in this au goes so fucking hard also dream violating the rules of his own site to ban tommy is SO funny tommy has to go back to reddit

sparx I do also love the exile implication that it’s possible to get banned from 4chan YEAH

hoodie dream just wants tommy's cringe ass off of 4chan tubbo should honestly be banned from twitter but at this point everyone is convinced hes really eret and eret's actual account gets banned for impersonating a public figure

sparx hrbrhfhfr YEAH eret does not attempt to get unbanned bc at this point he desperately needs tubbo to keep his ratings up

hoodie tubbo is really the only thing keeping the public opinion of him up tubbo is the last bastion of hope for his reelection tommy literally is barely aware of all of this hes too wrapped up in whatever tf is happening with wilbur and dream ranboo has a tumblr

sparx ranboo has a tumblr and has no idea tf is going on out there

hoodie eryn used to have a prank youtube but he went too far and got permabanned JHRGHRJHG ranboo is safe....

sparx he's busy reblogging fanart of the founders of 4chan and kiwifarms kissing

hoodie KJRFHEJKGHJGHRJGH dream considers doxxing ranboo for this crime bc ranboo is the one drawing that fanart

sparx YES YES YES

hoodie wilbur on the other hand turns the fanart into his mousepad and sends pictures of it to dream

sparx tommy: ranboo why are you drawing rpf of my brother  ranboo: wait these are real people  ranboo: ............................wait your brother founded kiwifarms?????

hoodie tommy: yeah  ranboo: ......................tommy im sorry but this has to go in your callout post  tommy: youre making a callout post about me?  ranboo: i have one in my drafts just in case : ( sorry : ( i have one for all of my mutuals

sparx aLJSDKJFHERJGKHERKJGEFKJGHE OFC HE DOES

hoodie this is all said by a guy who has been drawing fanart of kiwifarms founder kissing 4chan founder....hypocrite

sparx the joke’s on ranboo, tubbo has files on all his friends with their addresses phone numbers known aliases known associates family members birthdays social security numbers and photos of the outside of their house

hoodie TJGHERHJGHJERHGHRGHJGEGHHGG tubbo is prepared to drop these if any of them ever cross him even wilbur wont fuck with tubbo and wilbur also has the full doxes on everyone...expect for dream this is part of why dream is wilbur's arch enemy sorry this is the best au of all time

sparx this is a absolutely the best au of all time wilbur is obsessed with getting dream's dox

hoodie wilbur: tommy im not going to help you do your homework, im trying to dox dream

sparx he's like. tommy. tommy i gotta get dream's dox. there's only ONE way to do this.  tommy: stalk hi-  wilbur: seduce him  tommy: ...............aight i'm out

hoodie RKJHGJHH tommy: have fun you fucking freak wilbur: oh i will, i will : ) tommy:

sparx tubbo, absently, scrolling twitter: do you want me to make homosexual sex illegal? i could probably do that  ranboo: my fanfic is coming true?!  tommy: ..................................what the fuck is wrong with both of you

hoodie tommy: why is everyone i know a wrongun??????  ranboo: im not a wrongun...am i?  tommy: you draw fucking art of my brother making out with dream ofc youre a wrongun!!!! tubbo: im going to outlaw rollerskates

sparx DSKJFSHHKGJ tubbo's just casually running a country

hoodie tubbo is basically the president at this point shockingly a positive thing when we compare it to dsmp canon that was not so positive for tubbo karl makes a thread about how tubbo isnt actually the real president but tubbo just responds saying 'yeah im a parody account' and literally no one believes him

sparx everyone's like, oh, our eret, so witty! so funny! look how down and hip with the kids he is

hoodie RGJGHRJGH

hoodie also im watching a schlatt video rn and honestly schlatt needs to be in this au more i think he should be the third person trying and failing to radicalise tommy

sparx OKAY BUT THIS AU IMPLIES SCHLATT MANAGES TO LIKE. TAKE KIWIFARMS FROM WILBUR front page news that's like "I'M THE EMPEROR NOW BITCH"

hoodie HE SHOULD ERKJGHJRHGHGHG he fucking stages a coup

sparx jannies lockout

hoodie RJKGRJGHGH wilbur is literally flipping things in the other room HIS GLORIOUS SITE....HIS KIWIFARMS.... his unfinished symphony

sparx UNFINISHED SYMPHONY OF KIWIFARMS

hoodie JRHGH schlatt perma bans wilbur and tommy's accounts and also doxxes wilbur then hes like 'if i find out any of the users here are female im banning them too' this is how wilbur and niki eventually end up teaming up bc he convinces her that schlatt is the true evil

sparx HOWLING HE WOULD

hoodie 'this is a manly site for men ONLY'

sparx niki: wilbur i will work with you if you publicly record a video saying ur dick is tiny and ur head game sucks  wilbur: ........... :( ok

hoodie wilbur: anything to get my site back.............

sparx ranboo: so that new video from wilbur..... uhh. anyone else think it was kinda....... 😳 tommy: ranboo. my brother. i am going to kill you.

hoodie tommy: ranboo you have one last chance to apologize or i will end your life right here and now  ranboo: sorry for being gay 😔 tommy: not sorry enough!!!!!!

sparx SORRY FOR BEING GAY im gonna shit

hoodie RJGHGGHGH ranboo is sorry for being gay for your brother, tommy

sparx hmmmm who have we forgotten in this au

hoodie hmmmmm tina fundy fundy is a scorned kiwifarms mod who thought he was wilbur's fav

sparx JSHDFKJDFHG fundy: i was your SON wilbur  wilbur: fundy. you're 19. i am 21.  fundy: your SON

hoodie fundy: you ABANDONED ME  wilbur: i was literally kicked off of my own site

sparx fundy: i'm gonna kill myself now  wilbur: lmao. -wait NO DON'T

hoodie TJKGHRGHRGJH wilbur: wait bro are you joking?  wilbur three days later: i think he actually did it  fundy, not dead: taught him a lesson lol

sparx skdjfjsdkjghdfkjghdfkj

hoodie this au is a blessing

sparx it's Something!!!!

[decadentxdecay]

someone talk me out of this i want to develop an ed just so i can understand them and maybe know how to help better or even feel like i have a point of connection with them and are on the same playing field. so i have a right to talk i guess. so i dont feel as guilty sitting by as they suffer having no idea what its like and chiding them to eat anyway. would they be happy? they were so overjoyed doing that diet with me last time and they seemed so interested in tracking my weight loss. if i shifted their focus from their weight to mine would they fixate on managing me instead of themselves like with homework? i dont think its the same. yet at the same time they would feel so guilty if they knew my ed was indirectly influenced by them having one. that would be absolutely terrible of me to do to them. maybe if they saw me struggling to keep a diet despite trying theyd feel better about themself. maybe they would feel comfortable talking to me more. maybe theyll have fun joking around with me about shit like this and wont have to resort to begging me for an edtwt account. maybe theyll be less lonely. maybe theyll trust me more. maybe itll feel like they love me again. maybe i could trick myself into thinking im doing something for them and deserve them. maybe i could delude myself into thinking every pang of hunger signifies my worth in their eyes. that diet really fucked me up. its not a fraction of what they experience, anyway. on the other hand, what if they only feel worse? what if understanding it, i normalize it and allow them to go lower than i wouldve? i find that when they refuse to eat lunch and i have an impossible time convincing them, if i skip my own and feel the hunger alongside them, i have an easier time swallowing the uneasiness and i give up on convincing them quicker. what if that transfers to happening everyday and my development of an ed results in them getting worse and eating less through my lessened concern? what if, feeling like theyre corrupting me, as theyve expressed concern for in the past when they thought their comments about their body made me self conscious about my own, and unable to change themself, they isolate from me instead? i know i could easily do it. i know i could feed into the thoughts and fuck my health up so much they have to look at me. obviously the logical option is to not even consider it. im just feeling overdramatic and desperate at the moment. itll pass. i just wanted to air out these thoughts without anyone seeing them and certainly without them knowing. tw in tags

[rvxscreams]

im genuinely grappling with the decision of whether to live or die

ive told myself the last few years, in order to get through each day, "you can either choose to end your life now, or accept that youll be alive for another long time, so why not try and make that time left more bearable?". this usually works. i think whats scaring me about where my mind is going is that the solution is slowly becoming "well then maybe i'll end my life instead"

maybe because im a coward. a coward who isnt strong enough to confront or challenge myself with the things i need to do in order to get better. ive always tried so damn hard to take accountability, be compassionate, supportive, and strong. but i havent been able to be strong for months now.

im stuck between a rock and a hard place. it always results in me punishing myself no matter what choice i make. i want to reach out to loved ones and ask for support? get fucked, youre selfish and manipulative for forcing others to give that emotional tax to you without you giving anything to them in months. but oh, you want to just quietly disappear and not make a theatrical out of fear of being attention seeking, so you dont ask for help or talk to anyone for weeks on end? youre a stubborn baby who cant accept help so theres no point in helping you because all you ever do is refuse it

i am a bad person. and i wish i stopped deluding myself into thinking im not, because all that does is skirt accountability.

i hate expressing how much pain and agony im in because itll just upset people. but then offing myself would upset them more. but i need to feel community and connection. and i feel like it's too late to come back from my isolation. how can i just come back in pretending like nothing happened? how can i pretend that i dont wanna kill myself every god damn fucking day and that ive spent months of having my biggest achievement be "i didnt hurt myself"

i cant get through a therapy session without sobbing. i cant think about my old life without having a breakdown. i try so. so. so. fucking hard. to amp myself up to reach out to people, but it's so easy to convince ymself that my presence will receive a strong negative response. like. why bother? i have no positive impact on others. i dont know why im still holding on and deluding myself into thinking it's worth doing so.

im stupid. no matter what i think or feel, my brain manages to find the negative in it and turn it into makign it my fault somehow.

ive always thought i am too weak for this world, and that has become apparent again.

i wish i could be strong.

i wish i could go to bed excited for what the next day will bring, instead of hoping that it'll be my last conscious thought.

im sorry.

this isnt a goodbye note. i am safe but i am not okay at all. im sorry for the heaviness of this. i dont want to be an emotioonal burden any more. i dont want to be thsi way. i just watn this pain to end. i just want it to all go away.

[thvkei]

hi kira! me again lol

I got this idea while trying to sleep last night but what if the haitani brothers had a sister (maybe their twin? like rindou or ran's twin since they're different ages) who's deaf? and if tenjiku meets her, how will they react?

- love Ria ✨

IMAGINE ME, BUT TWICE !

ft. rindou, ran, izana, kakucho, shion, hanma, kokonoi x fem!reader

genre. sprinkle of angst, fluff, headcanons

notes. HI RIAAA<3 this was so cute my heart hurts :,)) + this post is sfw, but this account contains nsfw content. please do not follow if you're a minor.

growing up with a disability with your two brothers took not only great hardships, but also a huge amount love.

in your case, you were born hard-of-hearing and was completely deaf by the time you were three.

being rindou's twin sister was something you'd always known. you'd never known a life outside him, and your older brother, ran.

you and the boys had a rough childhood. your parents were bums, resulting in the three of you deciding to make a life for yourself at the measly ages of 12 and 11.

ran was only 1 when you two were born, but he quickly began to grasp that you didn't respond to his voice like rindou did. it hurt him deeply, especially more so when your mother refused to attend any type of therapy or sign language lessons.

so, as soon as he was able to, he took it upon himself to learn how to attend to yours and rindou's needs. it was hard. extremely. but he couldn't let you be treated the way he was. neglected and alone, ran fought to keep the two of you safe under the so called 'guidance' of your two useless parents.

by the time he was 10 and you and rin were 9, you developed your own methods of conversation.

as most kids make fun of things they don't understand, such as disabilities, you were teased for your voice from a young age - which caused you to shy away from speaking and only rely on writing and sign for communication.

meeting new people was hard, but, under the protection of your two big brothers, no one dared question you or your lack of speech. any one who did or had previously was left with a broken nose - at least.

due to growing up with them, it was almost a given that you would adopt their attitude. how someone could convey so much sass through their expressions alone, the brothers weren't sure. but they loved it; they loved how you expressed yourself regardless of other people's opinions, even if sometimes it was at their expense.

you'd also, thanks to years of practice and close observation, taught yourself how to lip read. it's always funny when you would appear out of nowhere during, well, what they assumed was a private conversation, and easily answer any inquires or issues they were facing despite not asking you directly.

of course, you knew they were delinquents. and good ones, at that. even though their lifestyle was dangerous, you were drawn to it, naturally. seeing how much fun they had always enticed you, especially since you'd spent so many years of your life living under the armor they forged themselves.

the boys knew you were strong. they'd taught you everything they knew over the years. so when you asked them if you could join tenjiku and fight by their side and they refused, you responded by wrapping your legs around your older brothers head and slamming him against the ground.

yeah, they changed their minds pretty quickly.

tenjiku wasn't aware of the haitanis' little sister until they were face to face with her, staring in confusion at the little girl who closely resembled their cogent executive, rindou.

izana tilted his head at you, staring in confusion. this was the powerful up-coming new member of his gang? a girl?

"she may be deaf, but trust me-" ran smirked, standing at your side with his arms folded. "she gets what she wants."

it was ironic, really, how good you were at convincing people. it had been a skill you'd never lacked in. when you wanted something, you got it. and you prided yourself in that fact.

kakucho is immediately drawn to your ambitious and fearless demeanor, the way you handle yourself - the way you handle others. he admires it. you almost make a weakness look like a strength.

izana is familiar with the basics of sign language, he'd learned it back in the orphanage he stayed in out of boredom and curiosity.

kokonoi isn't familiar with the language nor does he care. sure, you may be useful, but your weakness is so great that he assumes that you will only drag tenjiku down. however he doesn't object.

shion finds it rather amusing, a deaf girl trying to interfere with hardcore gang shit, deciding not to conceal a short laugh. that mistake immediately earned him an almost lethal punch from rindou. sending him towards the ground with a crack.

kisaki thinks it's stupid to get someone like you involved in a gang war. you will only be a liability to them, he thinks. my, how wrong he is.

hanma is, like izana, curious. it's clear to everyone here that you have rin and ran wrapped around your little finger. which consequently meant that you basically had an army of men at the of every whisper, weep or cry. you're powerful. he likes that.

as the days passed by, you continued to prove yourself to them, rounding up new members, strong ones, and leaving them at your disposal. the tenjiku members, apart from ran and rindou, of course, who already knew how you operated, were left speechless.

they found themselves learning sign language on their own will, wanting to understand more about you and how your brain worked. even shion picked up a goddamn picture book.

kokonoi finds himself reluctantly interested, refusing to admit to any one else that your abilities really did outshine your drawback.

however, while you're good at fighting, you aren't the best.

this becomes apparent when a deranged and practically nuts member of a rival gang lunges for you and you barely dodge him, scarcely avoiding a knife in your side.

kokonoi grabs you quickly, shoving you behind him without even thinking. his own actions leave him completely shocked and confused.

tenjiku in turn leaves him permanently paralyzed, discovering that over time you had also swooned them. they weren't sure how, or why, but it just happened.

even though he would never admit it directly, kakucho enjoyed your company and respected you as a fellow member.

the first time hanma made an effort was when he learned a pun in JSL, which came as a huge surprise to you.

that was also the first time he heard your voice - when you tried to hide your laughter from him by covering your mouth with your hand.

he was immediately smitten.

over time, tenjiku progressively become more protective. it's like an instinct. one bad word of you, and their opposition is dead. that's just how it works.

ran and rindou continue to be your number one boys, the brothers you can rely on above all else.

izana trusts you with plans and keeping everyone in order and respects you as his underling. but on a personal level, he thinks even more of you.

even kisaki learns some of the basic cues, giving you at least a little respect even though you often make it known that you don't enjoy his company.

overall, being the haitani's underestimated little sis had its perks. having a disability didn't change how much they loved you in the slightest. it just made you stronger.

please do not repost or steal my work ─ i don't allow translations or resposts on any other platforms.

[suhtorus]

𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙚𝙛𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩 — olympic team / fem reader

[ atsumu, sakusa, suna, kageyama, gao, bokuto, hinata, iwaizumi, oikawa ]

the stress of the first match seems to be taking a toll on the team's spirit, and you refuse to sit and watch them fail when you know you can be of help. but can you really handle all of them?

(or, where you end up having a gang bang with 8 professional volleyball players, and 1 athletic trainer)

⥅ word c. 7,928

⥅ warnings. sub reader, gang bang, foursomes, voyeurism?, fellatio, cum play, vaginal penetration, anal, unprotected sex, creampie, facial, size + stomach bulging kink, praise kink, mild degradation, double penetration, pussy job (for like, one second), double vaginal penetration, fingering, squirting, overstimulation, someone passes out, aftercare

⥅author n. brought to u thanks to this tweet + @kmorgzz​ who suggested adding iwaoi to the mix

special mention to my wife and love of my life, runa. @tsumue​ u had me laughing at 4am as i read ur comments in the google doc. i don't know what i'd do without u, tysm for beta and putting up with me for the past week ♡ 

ps. im v sorry if ur fave didn't make the cut (╥_╥) i added the ones im more familiar with, in terms of writing

if someone had told you you’d be attending the olympic games not as a spectator but as part of japan’s team, you’d have never believed them. but here you are, sitting in the same room with the most skilled players in the country as none other than their personal assistant.

“iwaizumi-san! do you think kageyama and i could pull off a quick attack right at the beginning of the set?”

“shoyo-kun, if there’s someone you’ll be doing the quick attack with it’s me,” atsumu’s eyes land on kageyama, smirking at the other setter from across the room, “right, tobio-kun?”

“you’re a disgrace.”

sakusa’s statement earns an offended scoff from the blond setter, the rest of the team rolling their eyes and sighing at the all-too-familiar scene.

“oi! we don’t have time for petty fights!”

after iwaizumi gets everyone’s attention back on him, he barely finishes explaining tomorrow’s match opponents and their plays without losing the team’s attention. he might be there to train them and make sure they’re on top of their game, but he knows when the team is lacking morale and, sadly, today’s one of those days.

the meeting is over and all of you go to the dining hall, fetching your dinner and sitting on your respective table with you right next to iwaizumi.

since you took that part-time job at the msby jackals, you quickly caught onto their small tics and tell-tale signs when something isn’t right. atsumu becomes a complete asshole which makes sakusa lose his temper sooner than usual. meanwhile, bokuto and hinata become very fidgety, often causing a bit of chaos around them as clumsiness radiates off of them.

when the national team was announced, you were offered the job as the trainer’s assistant—all thanks to the jackals who recommended you to their superiors for said position. your pay-check might say you’re just iwaizumi’s assistant, but you’re basically there to cover the needs of the entire team—all of them.

“iwa-chan!”

your head snaps to the side as a good-looking man takes the last free seat next to iwaizumi.

“aren’t you supposed to be sitting with your team?” iwaizumi asks him, taking a bite of his food while waiting for an answer.

the unknown man huffs exaggeratedly, rolling his eyes as he too starts to eat, “thought you’d miss your best friend.”

“hanamaki isn’t here.”

the stranger opens his mouth to reply, clearly offended by iwizumi’s words, when he notices you peeping at him.

“oh? hi! i think we haven’t met,” he shoots you a charming smile, bringing out his remarkably handsome features, “oikawa tooru, it’s nice to meet you.”

you introduce yourself, bowing at him and focusing back on your food.

both friends start to discuss tomorrow’s events, which inevitably brings out iwaizumi’s concern for his players.

“they seem off,” he’s playing around with the food as he stares at the players sitting in the table in front of yours, “i don’t know if i should talk to them or let them be.”

he’s clearly concerned for them, you can see it in his eyes—the doubt, wondering if he has been doing a good job with the team.

“iwaizumi-san, i-i… perhaps i could aid them this time?”

his head snaps in your direction, a mix of surprise and worry taking over his face, “no way, that’d be too much for you.”

oikawa’s eyebrows scrunch up as he observes you two but says nothing, choosing to listen attentively at you trying to convince iwaizumi while the latter sighs and reminds you that it’s not just the jackals this time.

it takes a while for iwaizumi to accept your offer, pondering the pros and cons, but he ends up accepting it; for everyone’s sakes.

“i’m lost.”

oikawa’s words make your insides flare-up, looking down at your hands in order to avoid looking at him, his curious eyes switching between his best friend and you.

iwaizumi ignores him, standing up from his seat and walking to the table in front of you with you and oikawa watching closely. the team turns to look at him, waiting for him to speak since it’s obvious it has to be something important by the severe look on his face.

“seeing as some of you are clearly out of it, our assistant here has very kindly volunteered to help you guys for tonight.”

a few heads immediately perk up, looking at you with bright eyes once you answer their silent question with a smile.

“please, be good to her. i’ll be there supervising anyways, so don’t think of trying anything funny.”

“oikawa-san! you’re coming with us, right?” hinata looks expectantly at said male, excitement clear in the redhead’s eyes, “she’s the best!”

both iwaizumi and you freeze on the spot, gauging oikawa’s reaction who only looks more confused.

“you’re welcome to join us, if you so desire,” it’s you who’s offering it this time, surprising iwaizumi and earning a worried glance from him.

oikawa can’t deny he’s dying to know what everyone’s so excited about, and after thinking about it for a few more seconds, he has made up his mind.

“shall we go, then?”

—

“alright, ground rules.”

just a handful of the team sits in the room, the ones who know what’s happening waiting eagerly for the green light while the rest wonders what the fuss is about. as much as you want to help them all, it’d be impossible; which is why iwaizumi picked the ones he thought needed the morale boost the most.

with a nod in your direction, he lets you know you’re free to speak.

“the jackals already know this,” you say and atsumu snickers from his seat, winking at you as hinata and bokuto nod excitedly, “but i’m not too strict about the entire thing.”

you can feel the pairs of curious eyes burning holes in you—trying to decipher what’s going on. so, after taking a deep breath and getting an awkward, encouraging smile from iwaizumi, you start voicing out the rules.

“please, be patient. there are so many of you and only one of me. i promise you’ll get your turn,” you give atsumu a pointed look, and this time it's sakusa who snorts while the blond setter rolls his eyes, “which brings me to the next rule, no seconds.”

a hand raises in the air, making you advert your attention to its owner. 

“i still don’t get what’s happening,” suna’s eyes narrow down at you, noticing the embarrassment and hesitation in your posture.          

“don’t worry, suna. we’ll show ya.”

“shut it, miya.”

clearing up your throat, you smile coyly at the middle blocker, “it’ll make sense once i finish explaining, suna-san.”

he shrugs but stays quiet. taking into account the jackals’ reactions plus the cryptic rules, an idea has already formed in his mind. but it couldn’t be that. right?

“uh, again, only one round. all entrances are fine,” you pause, going through the rules in your head to see if there’s anything you might be forgetting, “oh! and you’ll be paired up in teams of three to make things faster.”

“one more thing,” iwaizumi speaks up, this time looking at you instead of the awaiting men, “don’t forget to let us know how you’re doing.”

two loud claps break the tense atmosphere, “well, we should get started then,” atsumu raises from his spot and walks towards you. his hands cradle your face between them and lift it so you can face him properly, “what do ya say, princess?”

his lips land on yours before you can reply to him, a small squeal getting stuck in your throat when his hands travel down your body until he’s squeezing your ass.

you’re too caught up in the kiss to notice the new presence looming behind you.

“i’ll take your pussy before anyone can taint it with their dick.”

sakusa’s words make you shudder. you break apart from atsumu’s mouth to turn around and face him, his dark eyes alluring and drawing you towards him.

“oi, newbie,” atsumu calls out to suna who scoffs in return, “c’mere and join us.”

meanwhile, sakusa guides you to the bed, making you sit on his lap as you wait for the other two to show up. once they do, atsumu immediately settles behind you while suna stands awkwardly at the foot of the bed. it’s hard for you to read his expression since you’re not too familiar with him, so you offer him a reassuring smile and pat the spot next to you. 

the rest of the team watches from their seats as the four of you get started. 

suna lifts your chin, his eyes staring down at you before leaning down and kissing the corner of your mouth. he trails down your neck until he reaches your chest, sucking on the skin gently before running his tongue over the delicate area. in the meantime, atsumu unbuttons your blouse, taking it off and playing with your breasts while sakusa busies himself with taking your pants off.

“i get the hype, now,” suna whispers in your ear, blowing air on it and then biting down on your earlobe, making the hairs of your body rise.

his lips capture yours in a slow kiss —savoring your taste— and one of his hands goes to the back of your neck to keep you in place. his teeth play with your bottom lip, biting it softly and pulling away, his hooded eyes calculating your reaction.

“don’t get too excited, suna,” atsumu says from his spot behind you, pinching your nipples between his fingers and prompting a whine to escape your lips, “you’ll only get her mouth.”

“mhm, is that so?” suna’s question is directed towards you rather than atsumu, tilting your chin up and smirking at the dazed look in your eyes, “can’t wait to see that pretty mouth bulging with my cock, then.”

his lewd words earn a few coughs and clearing throats from the rest, which he chooses to ignore when your hand cups his growing bulge.

“enough you two, let the poor woman have a bit of pleasure too,” sakusa’s dark eyes look at you questioningly, silently asking if you’re ready to continue.

in return, you cup his face with your free hand and kiss his cheek—knowing he wouldn’t appreciate a kiss on the mouth when you just finished making out with another man.

they finish getting you out of your clothes until your bare cunt is hovering over sakusa’s lap. he’s quick to undress and ease his cock into you, suna and atsumu observing as they get rid of their clothes as well.

“fuck,” sakusa groans in your ear, the position allowing you to hide your face in his neck and wrap your arms around his shoulders, “always so tight.”

“scoot over, i need to prep her ass.”

suna snorts at atsumu’s words, pumping his cock twice before kneeling on the mattress—right next to you. he pats your cheek with the swollen head, looking down at you with a faint smirk.

“open up.”

your eyes immediately focus on his length, your mouth watering at the sight. you open your mouth and stick your tongue out, looking up at him and observing as he rests the tip on your tongue. 

“looking so pretty with a cock in your mouth,” he slowly slides in, guiding your head down until half of him is inside, “so warm.” 

a cold liquid dribbles on your backside, making you flinch forward and causing suna’s cock to slide in even more.

“relax, baby. it’s just me,” atsumu rubs the liquid on your asshole, playing with it with his finger before finally sliding it in.

your muscles contract involuntarily, making sakusa groan as he keeps still inside your pussy, waiting for you to grow used to the multiple things going on around you.

“hurry up before i start fucking her.”

a second finger slides in and you moan around suna’s cock, spit running at the corners of your mouth which reminds you to swallow. you hollow your cheeks and retract your mouth until only the tip remains inside, running your tongue over the slit and making the middle blocker shudder.

“someone’s hungry,” he muses.

you hum around him, bobbing your head back and forth and pumping the rest of his length with one hand.

“i’m gonna try get in now, okay?” atsumu taps your ass with his cock, lining it up with your asshole and thrusting in. he watches as the head of his cock finally slips in, groaning when the familiar tightness engulfs him, “that’s it, baby. doin’ so good for me.”

you have to remove your mouth from suna’s cock to avoid biting down on him, the stretch slightly more painful than pleasurable which eventually leads to you tensing up even more. 

“you gotta relax,” atsumu says under his breath, strained by the way you feel around his dick.

it takes you around a minute to calm down, taking deep breaths until you feel yourself loosen up and, with one last push, he’s finally inside.

“omi?” you say against his neck, “could you move a bit, please?”

said man grunts as he starts to move his hips, your slick helping his cock glide in, “color.”

it takes you a few seconds to understand what he meant.

“oh! uhh, green.”

atsumu’s thrusts are slow —testing the waters— since the last thing he wants is to get yelled at for being too rough, too soon. but you’re growing impatient, moving your hips backwards and trying to get more of him inside of you.

“m-more, ‘tsumu. i can take it,” you say and he immediately complies, his muscular thighs now slapping against your ass.

suna remains kneeling next to you, cock in his hand as he waits for you to bring your attention back to him. but he doesn’t have to wait too long, your hand wrapping around his cock and guiding it back into your mouth once you’ve set a steady pace with the other two men.

“thought you had forgotten about me.”

he pushes your hair out of your face, watching your lips wrap around his girth. it’s taking all of his willpower to not hold your head and fuck your face until you’re gagging around him, afraid it might be a big ‘no’ from you. and since it’s the first time he’s getting to experience this, he decides to take whatever’s given to him.

“you’re so wet,” sakusa points out as he looks down at where you two are connected, observing his cock slide in and out of your cunt, covered with your slick.

“‘course she is, she’s being stuffed by three cocks.”

“feels good…” your manage to say after releasing suna with a pop, pumping his shaft with your hand, “a-am i making you feel better?”

a hand lands on your ass, causing you to yelp and tighten your hold on suna’s cock. 

“what do ya think, hm? we’re getting our dicks wet in none other but our slutty little assistant's holes,” atsumu plays with your ass, squeezing it and humming when the imprint of his hands appears on the soft flesh.

“mhm, quite the slut you are,” sakusa whispers in your ear, kissing your neck afterwards, “as long as i get to make a mess out of that cunt of yours before anyone else, i will always enjoy these little sessions of ours.”

your eyes land on suna, waiting for him to say his thoughts on the matter.

his gaze drops to your hand, covered in his pre-cum and your spit which sends a jolt to his cock, making it throb in your hand.

“can’t say i hate it.”

you smile at his words, recognizing the challenge hidden behind them. your mouth wraps around the flushed tip, eyes closing when both sakusa and atsumu thrust up into your holes at the same time. you try to keep your hand steady as you suck suna off, but the lewd grunts and moans coming from them, plus their cocks filling you so nicely make your rhythm falter every once in a while.

a hand starts toying with your clit, causing you to moan around suna’s cock. the vibrations make him shudder, scowling at himself when he realizes his orgasm is approaching faster than he expected.

“fuck, fuck– princess? do you mind if i cum inside?” atsumu grunts.

your muscles clench at the thought of being filled with his cum, imagining the thick liquid oozing out of your sensitive holes only to stuff it back in with your fingers.

“y-yes, ‘tsumu. cum inside me,” you pant as your hands squeeze suna’s cock, pumping it faster as you notice his hips jerking towards you. you turn your face to look at sakusa, who has his eyebrows drawn upwards and his mouth open slightly as he too feels overwhelmed by the pleasure, “omi, you can cum inside as well.”

and he doesn’t need to be told twice, his large hands holding you by your hips so he can thrust his cock into your drenched cunt faster.

moans and squelching noises echo around the room. atsumu picks up his pace as he feels his orgasm approaching, his deep grunts fanning over your neck and taking over your hearing. the drag of sakusa’s pubic bone against your clit has you cumming shortly after. your head rolls forward as both men keep thrusting in and out of you, only stopping once their cum fill your clenching holes.

“shit– look at me,” suna orders you, and you barely have time to process what’s happening.

his cum lands on your face, his hand helping you pump his throbbing cock as the ropes of cum cover your skin. he exhales heavily once he’s done, brushing the flushed head of his cock over your swollen lips, and smearing the white liquid around them.

it’s silent for a few seconds, save for the heavy breathing and pants coming from your mouths.

“holy shit,” oikawa’s voice breaks the silence. his cock strains almost painfully against his pants at the sight of what awaits him.

“yeah, holy shit,” atsumu laughs off, brushing his hair out of his face with one hand as he massages the flesh of your ass with the other, “ya never disappoint, princess.”

with a grunt, the blond setter removes his softening cock from you, his honey eyes —plus a few curious ones— observing the way his cum dribbles out from your stretched hole. the same thing happens with sakusa, who lifts your hips off of him, his cock falling on his stomach and the mix of your slick and his cum dripping down on his length.

atsumu’s fingers immediately go to your cunt, pumping the juices back into you, “god, you love this. don’t you, baby?”

all you can do is whine, your hands clenching the sheets until he removes his fingers from your sensitive pussy, and stuffs them inside your mouth. 

“we all get a turn?” kageyama whispers not so discreetly to hinata, who only nods eagerly in return.

you lick atsumu’s fingers clean which earns you a radiant smile from him.

“here.”

suna has his arm outstretched, handing you a tissue so you can clean your face.

“thank you,” you take it from his hands as you climb off of sakusa’s lap.

you’re cleaning the residues of cum on your face when a hand falls on top of your head. 

“drink some water before you start the next round,” sakusa’s dark eyes suddenly seem warmer and kinder to you, patting your head before disappearing into the bathroom.

after tossing the used tissue away, you turn to iwaizumi and give him a firm nod.

“who’s next?”

your dazzling smile has the rest of the men in awe, silently praying it’s them who get to feel your body with their hands next.

“bokuto,” the wing spiker’s immediately perks up at the sound of his name, “you, kageyama, and hakuba are next.”

the three men raise from their seats and make their way towards the bed—towards you.

“hey, bo,” you offer a loving smile to him, “you ready?”

his strong arms wrap around you, kissing your cheek loudly and making you giggle, “it feels as if i’ve been waiting forever. of course, i’m ready!”

meanwhile, kageyama and gao stand at the foot of the bed, waiting for any instructions or a signal from you that could tell them when to start. luckily, you’re quick to notice their hesitation.

”is there a particular place where you want to be?” you ask them, looking specifically at kageyama and gao, since you want to make sure they feel included.

“dibs on your mouth!”

you blush at bokuto’s enthusiasm but accept his request, stroking his cheek as you wait for the other two to answer.  

“i’ll take whatever,” kageyama says and scratches the back of his neck.

“me too,” gao smiles and takes a few steps towards you, making bokuto move away from you. his large hand tucks one piece of your hair away, his eyes staring at yours before dropping to your lips, “although, i think i’d like it better if i had your pussy gripping my cock. wouldn’t you like that?”

he presses his front against yours, his erection poking at your belly which earns a small gasp from you. you have to stop yourself from taking a look at the tent in his sweatpants, trying to figure out how much of him there is hidden inside the fabric.

“o-okay.”

the middle blocker smiles at you before diving down to your lips. his hands grab your waist, lifting you up from the ground and making you wrap your legs around his torso. he gently places you down on the bed and kisses his way down your neck until his mouth is right above your erect nipple.

“hey! i want to kiss her too,” bokuto complains, “you can’t hog her like that.”

“s’okay bo, come here.”

he doesn’t have to be told twice, immediately climbing onto the bed and leaning down to kiss your lips.

you grab the back of his head and run your fingers through his soft hair, pulling on it gently which causes a groan to rumble in his chest.

a pair of hands slide over your legs, pushing them apart until your bare cunt is spread wide open for everyone to see.

“you’re dripping, babe,” gao murmurs over your nipple, giving it a light tug before flicking his tongue over it, “do you want my cock that badly?”

you can only moan and nod, your lips still busy with bokuto’s.

but there’s someone who still has yet to join you.

“tobio-chan, if you’re not going to do anything then let me take your place instead.”

oikawa’s words snap you out of your daze. you pat bokuto’s cheek signaling him to let go of you, and the same thing happens with gao as you try to sit up. your eyes fall on kageyama who stands at the same spot with a conflicted look and an obvious erection in his pants. 

“hey,” you crawl your way towards him and sit on your knees, “are you uncomfortable?”

his mouth opens but nothing comes out of it. he can feel the weight of everyone’s stare on him, making him look away from you. 

a few seconds pass and there’s still no answer.

“you don’t have to do this, you know?” you say in a small tone, slightly confused as to why he’s rejecting you, “i just thought… i could help you relax.”

he nods, still avoiding your gaze.

you take a look at iwaizumi –who looks as equally as puzzled as you– before looking back at the setter.

“do you want to leave?”

at this, his head finally snaps towards you, “no, i-” he pauses. his eyes are immediately drawn to your mouth, making him involuntarily wet his lips, “i want to stay.”

relief washes over you, a timid smile spreading on your lips which is quickly mirrored by him. you take his hand in yours and guide him to the other side of the bed, urging him to join the rest of you. there’s a hunger in his eyes that has your pussy dripping with your slick, a sigh leaving your lips when your back hits the pillows as you watch him take gao’s previous spot.

“kiss me, tobio.”

and he does. it starts slow, hesitant, but it soon turns desperate. his tongue strokes yours before sucking on it, spit coating your lips thanks to the messiness of the kiss. the strain of his cock inside his pants becomes too uncomfortable to his liking, causing him to start humping against you, trying to relieve himself.

noticing his predicament, you move your hand between your bodies and palm his hard-on. he groans against your lips, his hips jerking forward seeking more of your touch.

in the meantime, both bokuto and gao pump their cocks with their hands, having taken their clothes off while you talked to kageyama.

gao squeezes the head of his cock between his hands, pre-cum oozing from the slit as he imagines the way your cunt is going to grip him, “babe, you’re making us suffer.”

“get in line!”

“atsumu, shut the fuck up.”

“baby?” bokuto asks from where he stands, his own cock stiff and ready to be inside your mouth, “we don’t mean to be pushy, but do you think you could get to us soon?”

“bokuto-san, you’re going to break a rule!” hinata says, clearly concerned for his teammate, “be patient, remember?”

the rest of the team laughs and you can’t help but join them.

at this, bokuto pouts playfully at you, “you’re just teasing me, baby.”

“then come here,” you gasp when kageyama’s mouth sucks at the base of your neck, “y-you wanted my mouth, right?”

bokuto kneels next to your face, patting the leaking tip on your lips.

“i’m going to fuck that pretty mouth of yours and you’re going to take it like a good girl,” he says, his tone leaving no room for questions, “open.”

you comply immediately, lolling out your tongue and waiting for him to rest his heavy cock on top of it. 

the lewd sight in front of him makes bokuto shudder. his hands grasp your head, pushing you down his length until he feels your throat constricting around him.

“fuck– baby,” he grunts and gives a shallow thrust, “i know you can do better than that.”     

you try to relax your jaw so you can fit more of him inside of your mouth. but as you are about to graze your nose against his pubic bone, a finger runs between your folds causing you to flinch.

“i’m still here.”

gao’s tone sounds stern, even if a playful smile tugs his lips upwards, you can see the seriousness swirling in his eyes.

kageyama sighs and leaves your side, stepping away momentarily to take his pants off. 

the middle blocker takes it as his chance to settle between your legs as bokuto keeps your mouth busy.

“you’re drenched, sweetheart,” he muses, running his digits over your slit, “don’t worry, i’ll fill this pussy with my cock so well that you’ll be cumming in no time.”

your eyes travel to his shaft, watching as he pumps it twice before running it between your folds. your brows furrow when you notice how heavy it feels, making you wonder if it will fit in.

he lines himself up with your hole, pushing the head inside which is enough to have you whining around bokuto’s cock.

“you look so sexy,” bokuto groans, pushing your head away from him and watching your spit run down your mouth. he looks at kageyama who stands awkwardly with his cock in hand, “i guess we’re sharing her mouth.”

the setter’s eyes widen slightly before nodding, mimicking bokuto’s position and nudging his cock on your lips, “suck.”

your breath hitches at his order, caught off guard by his demanding tone. you grab his cock from the base and guide it into your mouth, pumping bokuto’s length with your other hand. you hum around kageyama, running your tongue over the head of his cock before hollowing your cheeks and sucking harshly on it. 

but your attention on them doesn’t last too long, the sudden feel of your pussy getting split open by gao’s cock taking it away.

“so tight,” he grunts, one of his hands running over the skin of your inner thigh until he reaches your soaking cunt. he pulls your folds apart, watching you struggle to take his cock inside you—no matter how wet you are, “i bet those jackals haven’t been fucking you like you deserve.”

“oi!” “not true!”

you free your mouth from kageyama and use both hands to pump his and bokuto’s cock, “s-so big, ugh-”

gao pushes more of him in, half of his cock already inserted in you. but he’s just so thick, so big, that you can’t help but clamp down your walls around him. his thumb starts rubbing circles on your clit, trying to relax your walls, as his other hand settles on your abdomen.

“you’re going to be so full of my cock that you’ll be able to see it,” he gives a gentle pat to your belly, “right here.”

your grip on the other two men tightens as gao finally bottoms out, a whine breaking through your lips at the stretch.

“if only you could see yourself,” his thrusts are lazy, mesmerized by the way your belly bulges when he pushes his cock inside you, “so fucking sexy with my fat cock inside your cunt.”

your lips wrap around the tip of bokuto’s cock once more, closing your eyes as pleasure clouds your head. he thrusts in, hitting the back of your throat and making you gag.

“good girl,” bokuto exhales, “taking my cock so well.”

you quicken the pace of your other hand, looking at kageyama as you obscenely suck bokuto.

the setter’s eyes refuse to leave yours, “who would’ve thought our assistant could be so naughty.”

“as if you’re complaining,” gao says, lifting your leg over his shoulder. the new angle allowing him to press his hips closer to yours.

“i never said i was.”

bokuto curses under his breath when you start sucking his balls, pumping the rest of his length with your hand and squeezing the head of kageyama’s cock with the other.

“you’re going to make me cum,” bokuto groans.

giggling, you lick your way up and run your tongue over the slit, “cum in my mouth.”

the sound of collective groans echoes in the room, a fair amount of players finding your words arousing.

“what a slut, let’s see if you keep talking when you’re covered in our cum.”

gao’s threat goes straight to your pussy, making you cream around his girth. the pace of his thumb on your clit quickens once he notices your walls spasming around him.

“ngh, fuck!” you’re breathing heavily by now, barely managing to keep the pace of your hands consistent, “i-i’m gonna… i’m gonna cum.”

“let go, baby.”

one of gao’s hands travels up your body until he’s pinching your nipple between his fingers.

“shit, shit, shit,” you’re thrashing underneath him, your cunt fluttering around his cock thanks to your orgasm.

kageyama’s way too focused on the way your face contorts in pleasure to notice how his hips have started to jerk faster. that is until the familiar coil suddenly snaps and his cum lands on your chin and part of your chest. 

“h-how did you get even tighter- hah!”

warm spurts of cum fill your cunt, the sense of fullness intensifying as gao frees his load inside of you.

“i’m cumming, baby. fuck, fuck–” bokuto chants your name as he too reaches his orgasm, quickly shoving his cock into your mouth and releasing his thick cum inside of it.   

you make sure to keep sucking him, milking his cock dry. once you remove your mouth from him, you bring his and kageyama’s cock closer to your face and pucker your lips, letting the mix of cum and spit fall on their cocks before giving a few kitten licks to the flushed heads.

gao starts to remove his cock from your insides, cursing at the state of your pussy once he’s finally out.

“holy fuck, she’s tightening around nothing.”

you let out a low moan when his fingers spread your lower lips, “t-too sensitive.”

“i think that’s enough,” iwaizumi intervenes, pushing him away, “color?”

“yellow,” but you continue as soon as you see his face become stern, “relax, i just need to calm down a bit.”

kageyama offers you a towel before awkwardly thanking you for your help. and after receiving a kiss on the forehead from bokuto, the three of them leave to go clean themselves.

“iwa-chan, why don’t you give her a massage?”

you let your body fall on the mattress, extending your arms above your head and moaning at the stretch.

“mm, that’d be nice.”

iwaizumi rolls his eyes playfully when he sees you pouting at him, “get on your stomach, i’ll be right back.”

in the meantime, oikawa and hinata take the spots next to you, eager to finally have their turn with you.

“you’re so pretty,” oikawa runs his hands over the skin of your shoulders, “those idiots are lucky to have you.”

your eyes start closing up, focusing on the feel of his fingers on your skin and making goosebumps appear all over your body.

“shoyo, we should help her relax too. don’t you think?”

you catch the suggestive tone in his voice, but his touch feels so good that you choose to ignore it.

both men start caressing your body, hinata’s hands paying special attention to your shoulders while oikawa pets your hair, murmuring sweet nothings. 

“you ready?” iwaizumi pops back into the room, a bottle of oil and a clean towel in his hands.

“mhm.”

the towel rests on your ass, iwaizumi’s warm hands spreading the oil on your back and rubbing at the sore muscles.

“does that feel good, princess?” oikawa asks when he hears you sigh. you are about to reply when iwaizumi hits a sore spot, a groan slipping past your lips and making the setter chuckle, “can you tell me your color now?”

“green.”

oikawa looks at iwaizumi and both men seem to communicate through their eyes, the latter smirking before going back to work.

at first, you don’t pay too much attention to his movements, choosing to focus on the pleasure. but then you notice how his hands seem to ghost lower and lower until he’s kneading your ass, the towel long forgotten.

before you can comment on it, he moves them to your thighs, massaging the soft flesh. it all goes back to normal –or so you think– until his hands reach higher and his digits start grazing your slit.

“hajime…”

“shh,” oikawa coos in your ear, pushing your hair out of your face and kissing your temple, “let him take care of you.”

iwaizumi inserts one finger inside your pussy, curling it until he’s teasing the spongy walls.

whines escape your mouth, your hands gripping the bedsheets which are quickly replaced by hinata’s hands.

“so cute.”

another finger slips in and makes you open your eyes, looking at oikawa helplessly, “o-oikawa-san-”

“tooru,” he interrupts you.

“tooru,” you try his name and he hums, letting you know he’s listening, “could you… uh, k-kiss me?”

“of course, princess.”

he leans down to capture your lips, swallowing your moans when iwaizumi curls both fingers and massages your spot. 

you open your legs, allowing iwaizumi to finger you better as you rut your hips on the mattress, rubbing your clit against the fabric of the sheets and chasing after your orgasm.

“iwa– faster, please.”

he complies immediately, causing wetness to gush out of your cunt and making the distinctive squelching sounds fill the room.

“i’m gonna– ah! i’m c-cumming!” 

“cum for me,” he encourages you, and that’s all you need.

you gush around his fingers, your slick coating them as you squirm under the gaze of the three men.

hinata tugs at your hand, pulling you underneath him and kissing you sloppily. you gasp on his mouth, caught off guard by the sudden movement but quickly melting into the kiss.

he blushes once he pulls away, “s-sorry, couldn’t help myself.”

“it’s okay, shoyo,” you breathe out, caressing his cheek, “want me to help you?”

he beams at your offer, nodding eagerly as he watches you climb on top of him. you straddle his hips and run your cunt over his cock, shivering when his length grazes your clit.

“do you want me to ride you?” you whisper, playing with his hair. 

“wait- i think i have a better idea.”

hinata lifts you from his lap and moves until he’s sitting on the edge of the mattress. he pushes your hips with his hands, turning you around so you’re facing away from him. 

“you can sit on my lap now.”

your ass rests right on top of his cock, but he hooks his arms on your knees, spreading you open, as he lets himself fall back on the mattress.

“what are you–”

“oikawa-san, doesn’t this remind you of something?”

said man laughs, “how could i forget? we had quite some fun back in brazil, huh?”

you’re visibly confused, looking at oikawa with furrowed brows, “what do you want to do?”

“say, princess,” his tone suddenly sounds too sweet for your liking, “have you ever had two cocks in one hole?”

your eyes widen, looking back and forth between oikawa and iwaizumi—who has ridden himself of his clothes and sits next to you, his thick cock in his hand.

“i’ll take that as a no.”

“can we do that?” hinata asks from behind you, his breath fanning on your ear, “we’ll be gentle.”

“there’s literally another free hole for you to use!” someone yells, clearly annoyed they didn’t get the chance to do it.

oikawa clicks his tongue, “where’s the fun in that?”

after taking a minute to think it through, you agree to their offer, “okay… uh- iwa?” you turn to look at him, “what about you?”

seeing as there’s no room for him to take your ass, his eyes land on your mouth. and with two taps of his finger on your cheek, he lets you know his decision.

“think you can suck me off?”

they’re all given the green light when you answer his question. hinata raises you from his lap, aligning his cock with your entrance before letting your weight fall on top of it. you groan at the familiar thickness stretching you nicely, missing the flash of hunger in the setter’s eyes.  

“my turn.”

oikawa presses the tip on your entrance, pushing forward and making room for his own cock.

the burn of having two cocks in one hole is new to you, but it’s surprisingly more pleasurable than you thought it’d be. you lift your eyes to look at oikawa, his gaze already locked on you, and you feel your pussy cream around their cocks at the lust in his eyes.

“enjoying yourself, princess?”

you moan when he bottoms out, watching the muscles of his abdomen contract and feeling his cock pulsing inside of you.

the thrill of being stretched by two cocks, at the same time, has your head spinning; your thoughts becoming lewd as you picture both men cumming inside you and globs of cum dripping from your abused hole.

“oikawa-san, did you feel that?” hinata asks. half-amused, half excited, “she’s squeezing us so well.”

“naughty, princess,” the setter grunts, “don’t forget about iwa-chan.”

you turn your head to face him, catching the irritated look he sends oikawa before looking down at you.

iwaizumi’s eyes immediately soften, but a smirk slowly tugs at the corners of his lips, “you seem busy.”

“there’s always room for japan’s national team athletic trainer.”

he can’t help but laugh, shaking his head at the silly title. he raises from his seat and settles himself above you, his cock hovering on your face and making your mouth water.

“whenever you’re ready.”

you don’t need to be told twice. grasping his thick cock with your hand, you lean forward and flick your tongue on the head, looking at him through your lashes with faux innocence.

“start moving,” iwaizumi hisses, the words directed at the other two men, “seems like she needs a little reminder of who’s in charge right now.”

oikawa and hinata look at each other with smirks on their lips. as hinata said earlier, they’ve been in this position before, so there’s no need for words between them since they both know what’s coming next.

hinata moves his head slightly to the side, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder and, at the same time, granting him the view of your cunt being filled with their cocks.

“look at her, oikawa-san” his eyes are locked on your pussy, captivated by the way you suck them in, “she looks so pretty with two cocks splitting her open.”

hinata’s lewd words prompt you to involuntarily moan, the vibrations landing on iwaizumi’s cock.  

“hmm, you like it when you’re reduced to nothing but a slut. don’t you?”

you blink up at iwaizumi as you keep bobbing your head up and down his shaft, opting to hum to let him know you’re not ignoring him.

but his words catch someone else’s attention.

“is that true?” oikawa asks, amusement clear in his voice, “you like being reminded you’re a whore? how much of a greedy slut you are by fucking an entire volleyball team?”

you’re speechless, his words –matched with his and hinata’s harsh thrusts– causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head.

“answer me.”

oikawa’s hand wraps around your throat, barely applying any pleasure but it’s enough to send your mind into a frenzy.

after releasing iwaizumi’s cock from your mouth, you take a second to swallow down your spit before answering him.

“y-yes, tooru. i like being treated like a slut.”

his eyes sparkle with mischief, pleased by your words.

“good, because that’s how you’re going to be treated from now on.”

a hand travels to your throbbing clit, rubbing circles on the sensitive nub.

“s-shoyo!”

“shh, it’ll make you feel good.”

something wet slaps against your cheek, “don’t get distracted.”

you nod and go back to sucking iwaizumi off, moaning every time hinata or oikawa hit a spot inside your cunt. you dare take a look at where your body connects with both men, and you catch yourself becoming entranced by the way their cocks slide in and out of your pussy so easily.

you are familiar with hinata’s cock, but it’s nice to see the contrast between the two of them. while hinata’s length is thick and veiny, oikawa’s leans towards the slimmer side—but still with a considerable length. either way, both men manage to hit those sweet spots inside you and make you see stars. 

“shit– princess,” oikawa falters a bit when he feels your walls fluttering around him.

“we can cum inside you, right?” hinata asks, sensing his orgasm approaching. after all, he had been waiting for his turn for around an hour.

you pull away from iwaizumi, a string of spit connecting your lips with his cock and causing it to twitch at the sight.

“you can cum wherever you want.”

“oh? the team’s cocksleeve,” oikawa adds, “i see.”

iwaizumi chuckles, combing your hair out of your face and pushing his cock back into the warmth of your mouth, “you like that nickname, sweetheart?”

with his length still in your mouth, you manage to hum in affirmation.

hinata’s pace on your clit quickens as his hips jerk faster, your cunt squeezing their cocks even more in return, “i’m cumming, ah– i-i’m gonna cum!”

he manages to say before you feel him twitch inside you, pumping his cum into your walls. the fullness plus his rapid movements on your clit cause the familiar warmth to take over your body. but it’s your fourth orgasm of the night, and before you can warn anyone, liquid spurts out of your cunt.

you squirm on top of hinata, gushing around his and oikawa’s cock while your mouth remains occupied with iwaizumi’s.

“holy shit.”

both oikawa and iwaizumi cum at the sight of you squirting before them, observing the wetness soaking oikawa’s abdomen and running all the way down onto the bedsheets. they groan as they feel their load releasing into you, oikawa filling your tender cunt while iwaizumi fills your mouth.

you try to swallow a bit of iwaizumi’s cum but it’s useless. your chest heaves in exhaustion, your eyes closing involuntarily as you’re being hit with wave after wave of fatigue.

“hey,” oikawa winces when he removes his cock from you. he shoots a worried glance at iwaizumi before he’s leaning forward so he can take a closer look at you, “princess? how are you feeling?”

iwaizumi nudges hinata with his knee, wordlessly telling him to let go of you.

the following moments become a foggy mess, your mind barely registering the pair of arms wrapping around you and carrying you somewhere else.

all you can feel is tiredness, and the dampness between your thighs, before you finally pass out.

—

consciousness slowly makes its way to you, replacing the sleepiness and making you aware of your surroundings as a familiar soreness sits heavy on your body.

in an instant, flashbacks from the previous night run through your mind.

you grip the duvet and push it away from you, only to notice the set of clothes you’re wearing: an oversized hoodie and a pair of sweatpants that clearly don’t belong to you. but you don’t have time to dwell on it, the sound of your ringtone blasting all over the room and making you scramble around the bed so you can answer the call.

but it’s of no use when it goes to voicemail—you were a bit too late.

when you manage to find your phone, you tap on the screen to see whose call you just missed.

‘hajime’

your fingertips hover on the contact name, debating between returning the call or wait for him to call you again. but a few notifications pop up at the top of the screen signaling you have three text messages from him.

hey, i guess you’re still asleep. don’t freak out when you wake up, you deserve the rest so it’s okay if you stay in bed. i left your breakfast on the nightstand and you can always call me if you need anything else.

and i thought you’d like to see this.

there’s a link attached at the end of the message.

you click on it and wait for the page to load, tapping your nails on the back of your phone anxiously. a headline in big bold letters takes over the screen and you have to stop yourself from squealing.

‘japan men’s volleyball team makes it past the first round.’

you start scrolling down the article, reading how spectacular the match was and how the entire team seemed to be in their best shape. you feel your face heat up when you read the argentinian team won their match too, with multiple comments praising oikawa’s performance.

with a smile on your lips, you go back to your messages to type a quick reply to iwaizumi. only to notice you have one more text from him.

it’s our turn to take care of you.

[apopcornkernel]

[OPINION] An open letter of grief from Loren Legarda’s son

I need you to know that she has no clue about the utter gravity and depravity of what she is doing. “So I am on their ticket. Does that make me a fascist?” she asked, both cluelessly and cynically. I was aghast. This is a woman who lived through Martial Law; she was once a journalist who taught me to value truth and justice. This is how vile, braindead, and reckless these people are. They literally have no idea what they are doing, the decades of violence and anguish they are unleashing. (bolded mine)

im crying like yeah.... yeah...... i know this is specifically about his mother who is running for senator alongside marcos/duterte but this resonated so hard w me. i am thankful to have a mostly leni family but my grandma and some of our family friends and a lot of other people are voting for marcos and it's so heartbreaking because sometimes they just won't listen and there's a good, good chance marcos really does win and like lorenzo legarda leviste said, they literally don't know what they are doing, or they refuse to know better. a few days ago i (and my family) tried to convince my grandmother not to vote for marcos from the thief angle, and the conversation just went something like this:

us: he's a thief, his bank accounts are even frozen

her: but if he becomes president those bank accounts will be unfrozen

us: yes and that's bad because he's a thief

her: but if his money is unfrozen he'll be able to use it to invest in our country

us: but he won't do that because he's a thief!!

and so on. and it's like this all the time with everyone else voting for him. they'll say respect my opinion, or they'll say relax, or they'll simply refuse to hear it and it's just. it feels so hopeless. i cannot, in fact, respect your opinion when you are voting and helping to put into power a candidate who was the son of a dictator and benefited from his family's documented theft of billions of pesos. his mother is not in jail and currently has seven counts of graft against her. they have billions of unpaid estate taxes. he and his family actively deny the countless documented human rights violations under martial law and continue to tout it as our golden age, despite the staggering debt his father accumulated and the turmoil we went through in the consequent years just trying to pay it back. he is, and i repeat, the son of a fucking dictator. as in the dictator we ousted. 50 years ago today.

okay i went really off-tangent sorry but i get heated talking about this. anyways, giving my best to lorenzo legarda leviste; it couldn't have been easy accepting that your mother would be wilfully complicit in the re-election of another marcos. im sorry and i hope she reconsiders what she's doing

[ad1thi]

underrated stevetony fics rec list (P2)

this is ridiculously late and im so sorry, but here’s part 2 of this list!!

//

sweet lips on my lips (kiss like real people do).: @nethandrake

Frankly, if anyone told Tony that he’d be carried out of a burning building, well, he would’ve laughed in their faces. And if they were being extra mean about it, he probably would’ve even thrown them across the Atlantic.

After all, he’s Tony Stark. And Tony Stark always makes sure he has a safety net installed in his armor for emergencies, so it wouldn’t be out of commission before the building decided to collapse onto itself.

And yet, here he is, his armor out of commission, and being carried out of a burning building.

Carried out of a burning building by Steven Grant Rogers.

(In which Tony's from Civil War and Steve's from Infinity War. It's a problem.)

Rising: @withstarryeyes

Heat is licking up his sides and he groans, feeling his knees turn wobbly, and fumbles his way to the wall of the elevator. The metal is blessedly cool on his forehead and he sighs, eyes burning when he closes them. It’s still dark outside and every fiber of Tony’s being is telling him to go back to bed but he has work to do and plans to make and a blueprint open on his desk in the lab, Fury approved, and he can’t not do his job. So he musters all his strength and pushes off the wall when the elevator lands, ignoring his wet hacking as he moves.

He falls before he makes it to the bench, his top coated in sweat, and his eyes shutting to the whirling sensation that takes his breath away and leaves him panting in nauseated gasps. His hand shakes from where it’s planted on the ground, keeping him up.

the square root of infinity: @firebrands

steve and tony have their first fight. tony doesn't handle it well.

A Social Engagement: @finduilasclln

Written for the prompt: “This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.”

Steve agrees to something without fully comprehending what it means. Modern times are confusing.

Wounds Without A Bandage: @gotthesilver

Tony burrows deeper in his blankets, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to forget the last year. Taking control of Stark Industries was one thing, even if it had been a shock to Obie and the rest of the board when Tony came of age and started dispensing of all his dad’s old cronies, but SI’s exploration team actually finding Steve? Tony deciding Steve should come live with him? Tony has regrets.

Well.

He has regrets this morning.

Before last night, the most Tony regretted in relation to Steve was not jumping him the moment it became clear all his faculties were intact and that Tony hadn’t defrosted a brain dead Captain America.

Love Like A Hunger: @gotthesilver

Pushing the door open to the bedroom, Steve pauses at what he sees. “Tony? I—”

“Surprise?”

“I—” Steve swallows, taking in the sight of Tony, blood instantly going to his cock as he looks him up and down. “You look—wow.”

Tony’s got on a damn Princess Leia outfit, gold curling around his chest and hips, with red fabric skimming over his crotch, and Steve’s brain feels like it’s shut down.

The Night Shift: @weethreequarter

Welcome to the Emergency Department of San Antonio General where Dr. Tony Stark joins the team fresh from his most recent tour in Afghanistan and - much to the consternation of the other staff - strikes up an instant rapport with Nurse Steve Rogers. Meanwhile, new resident Bruce Banner refuses to give up on his patient, and Dr. Sharon Carter learns something from her own patients. Throw in a pissed off hospital administrator, Clint using the coffee pot as a mug again, and a major car crash and you have, well, just another night shift.

the james braincell: @starklysteve

“Right. How do we get them to admit they love each other?”

In front of him, Bucky brings out a metal flask and takes a swig out of it. “Hell if I know. You’re the genius who went to MIT.”

“I studied aerospace engineering,” Rhodey rolls his eyes, “not how to get two idiots to kiss.”

-------

Or, Bucky and Rhodey are the braincells.

In a desperate last ditch attempt, they set Steve and Tony up for a blind date.

Steve and Tony don't know that their date is each other. But they might have a braincell of their own. Might.

the good place (is next to you): @starklysteve

“I mean,” Tony tries his best shot at breaking the tension, “if you’re stuck with the wrong guy, at least I’m sexier than your real deal?”

Tony died and got sent to some sort of heaven, with Captain America as his soulmate. Except, they got the wrong Anthony Stark, and to stay in the Good Place, Tony must convince Steve to teach him how to be good.

-x-

(watching The Good Place is not necessary to understand this AU, but will help)

president captain america: @livingtheobsessedlife

He’s supposed to be campaigning to be elected as president of the United States, not pining over some billionaire he met at one of his campaign events. And yet, Steve can’t seem to get genius, philanthropist (and his newest big-time donor) Tony Stark out of his head.

come build a home out of me: @maguna-stxrk

Steve clears his throat.

“What if I went with you?” he asks nonchalantly, like his heart isn’t threatening to beat out of his ribcage.

Tony blinks a few times, looking at Steve, his mouth ajar. “As a— As my date?”

“Yeah.” Steve nods, feeling a little breathless.

“You don’t mind?” Tony furrows his eyebrows.

“I don’t. In fact, you can just tell them I’m your boyfriend. I’m sure they’ll back off, wouldn’t they?”

What.

“I— Huh?” Tony stares at him, brown eyes blown wide open.

What. What. What.

“Huh? Uh, I mean— You know, that way people will see that you have definitely moved on. Monica will see that you have moved on. Right?” Steve smiles, hoping that it masks his inner panic, because what?

Steve Rogers, what have you done?

Between Two Infinities: @/anonymous

The Titanic, 1946. Steven Grant Rogers did not think that going to war would end up with him being three times his normal size with superstrength and agility to boot, and... rich...but hey, he wasn’t complaining. Steve also didn’t expect to fall out of love- if it was even love in the first place- with the woman he was explicitly told to propose to, and instead fall for a formerly rich, formerly a playboy, still a genius, Tony Stark. Especially because, you know, it was a little tiny bit illegal, and he was supposed to be “America’s Golden Boy”, as Bucky put it.

All Tony expected out of the trip was to escape Europe with his best friend thanks to a lucky game of blackjack. He didn’t think he’d find himself having sex in the back of a car located in the cargo hold of the Titanic, or almost jumping off said ship. But that was just the life of a rogue Stark child, wasn’t it? At least Peggy was nice. Her dad, not so much.

A Thief Like Tony Stark: @dontholdthiswarinside

Tony is a high ranking criminal, known for his talent to disappear. Steve is a disillusioned soldier who needs some cash.

And some people will always be heroes, no matter what they do for a living.

The Things We Can’t Unsee: @/orphan-account

The mission was simple: get in, gather information, get out. Of course, Steve never really expected the enemy to follow this plan. One way or the other, something was bound to happen. They were the Avengers, after all. Nothing ever went easy for them.

What Steve didn’t expect was it going as far as it did; he didn’t expect having to make a decision that nobody should have to make.

Now Bucky’s lying there, bloody and dying all because of him, and Natasha’s poisonous words keep ringing in his head. Thinking about the ring he carries with him every day, Steve knows she’s right.

He’d never be able to make that call if it were Tony.

The Last Barman Poet: @nativemossy

Tony wasn't expecting anything more than dealing with a tequila-drunk Clint and a slightly wrinkled suit on this trip to Mexico. He got plenty more than he bargained for when he catches the eye of a handsome vacationer at the swim-up bar. Tipsy shenanigans ensue.