#im truly and deeply sad

[stalkingwindss]

Back in my warriors era against all odds. Enjoy this drawing I made of Mudfur being comforted by Rippleclaw and Timberfur after Brightsky died in Crookedstar's Promise. My guy deserved so much better he's the icon ever "forgettable arc 1 med cat" shut your mouth he'll always be famous to me (/lh)

[mossterunderthebed]

[rigginsstreet]

milo ventimiglia losing his house in a fire after playing a character who famously dies in a house fire is crazy work

[neonvqmpire]

I DONT WANT TO BE SICK ANYMORE I THOUGHT THIS WAS A DEMOCRACY

[salstini]

sigh just feel like a broken human being, like i’m missing a big chunk of self-confidence that most people seem to have

[arolesbianism]

I Really need to properly draw Christopher at some point but everytime I want to I just look at her in game sprite and weep for her truest form has already been achieved. What's even the point. This is her in the flesh.

[alice-angel12x]

The complicated heart

I want some Angst so here is some Pure Vanilla x Y/n knight cookie. Also pt.1 of overall fanfic story.... I guess. (Blue Knight)

Part 2 -> this way

This is the last thing Y/n Cookie wants to wake up to? Especially on the first night when the two of them share a bed together. They could only silently stare at Pure Vanilla's sleeping form. He is a bit of a sleep talker.

That one sentence fills Y/n's mind with so many questions. From "Is that what he really feels? If he still feels that way, why is he with me? I can never measure up to someone like her."

Suddenly, sharing this space didn't feel right. Y/n slowly tries to wiggle out of the entanglement of Pure vanilla's arms. Only for him to cuddle closer to them, clinging onto them. With a sigh, they twist and turn, eventually escaping Pure Vanilla's grip. Y/n quickly replaced themselves with a pillow in his arms.

Y/n could feel their heart twist in their chest as they decided to sleep on the couch in Pure Vanilla's chambers. As emotions run high inside Y/n, they do their best to suppress them with logic.

'Of course. Those two have been friends since the beginning. '

Y/n thought to themselves, but it did little to hold back tears and the ache in their chests. They shut their eyes and tried to sleep it off. Thankfully, morning couldn't come any quicker.

Pure vanilla woke up with a yawn as he slowly opened his eyes. Which widden in shock when he found himself alone on the bed. Jolting up his eyes search around his room, soon landing on a lone figure by the window.

"Y/n? Good morning." Pure vanilla smile as he walks over to them. "You're up early."

"Yeah," Y/n says, trying to put on their best smile. It's very weak.

"Are you alright, Y/n?" Pure vanilla asked as he gently wrapped his arms around them. Giving a light peck on their shoulder

Y/n was silent for a bit, contemplating what to say. They turned to face Pure Vanila and gently returned the hug.

"Can I be completely transparent with you?" They asked the ancient healer.

"Of course, love," Pure vanilla welcomes as he guides them to a chair.

So Y/n would tell Pure Vanilla what he said at night, and how it makes them nervous about where his heart truly lies. Eventually, the two sat in an awkward silence.

“So where does White Lily cookie place in your heart?" Y/n asked with a calm sorrow.

Pure vanilla opened his mouth to say something, but there was no sound. Y/n could already see the conflict in Vanilla's expression. Their heart wanted to shatter than and there, but sucking in a deep breath they put on a brave face.

"Seems you need some time to search your heart," Y/n sighs as they stand to leave.

"Y/n... Im sorry. After all this time, I thought I would be past this," Pure Vanilla apologized, gripping his knee in, shame? Sorrow perhaps.

"I mean... You two have been through almost everything together for hundreds of years. Childhood friends, schoolmates, and a close team of heroes, and you lived long lives together. Something like that won't be washed away with-," Y/n stops themselves. "I've only been with you for a year or two now.

"Don't say that. I loved the times we shared together," Pure Vanilla said as he stands to stop Y/n with a hug. "I don't know why the thought of White Lily came rushing to me like this. It's been happening for a few nights now."

"It's a sign prehaps. That you might see her soon," Y/n says with a sad smile.

"Do you think so? White Lily Cookie... Changed and became Dark entress Cookie. How would that be possible?" Pure vanilla asked with surprise.

"If she is like how you describe her, then I wouldn't put it past her to actually seek out the witches. And we have no idea which one she met, meaning anything could have happened," Y/n said, thinking deeply. "Tell me, along with your dream. Did anything else stand out to you?"

"Yes, a voice. It was calling out to me, to go to beast yeast," Pure vanilla said as he recalled his dream.

"Then you have your path. And if I'm not mistaken, Entranchress cookie has a strong hold there," Y/n said when suddenly images flash in their mind.

A Map, a shattered soul jam, fairy wings, a giant tree, and a bright light over beast yeast.

"Y/n? Y/n, did you think of something?" Pure vanilla asked.

"You... You might actually are being called. You must go quickly," Y/n said suddenly.

"Wha- Why so suddenly?" Pure vanilla asked in surprise.

"You might find who you're looking for there. I believe that white lily cookie might be there," Y/n said. " White Lily's soul is still out there."

As Y/n held his hands, they could see it. Hope and a bit of something else flash in Pure Vanilla's eyes.

"Thank You Y/n! I shall depart to Beast yeast," Pure Vanilla cookie thanked with a bright smile. "Wait for me, White Lily cookie."

Pure vanilla quickly leaves to prepare everything for this dangerous journey. Y/n stood there, trying to hold back tears.

'Don't cry, Y/n. He thought he had lost his friend and might see her again. Don't be selfish,' Y/n silently scolded themselves.

Days passed as Pure Vanilla spent all his time gathering all that he would need for such a journey. One day, from morning to noon, Y/n mindlessly wandered the streets when a familiar voice calls out to them.

"Y/n Knight Cookie!" Gingerbrave called out.

"Ah, Gingerbrave, strawberry Cookie, and wizard Cookie. How can I help you?" Y/n smiles warmly at the young cookies.

"Pure Vanilla cookie has asked us to accompany him to beast yeast, and we wanted to ask for you to come with us," Gingerbrave said.

"What?! Why Me?" Y/n asked nervesly.

"Beast yeast is a big unknown to us, so we need as many strong cookies to help," Wizard cookie explained.

"And we've seen you fight waffle bots by yourself. Your help would be appreciated," Strawberry Cookie said.

Y/n wanted to say no, but the three younger ones looked up to them with baby doll eyes. Crumbling their resolve to turn them down. The three practically dragged them to the airship.

"Gingerbrave! Everything is ready. did you find what you-" Pure vanilla pauses, surprised to see Y/n before him.

Another awkward silence falls between them. The ancient hero was a bit embarrassed after remembering how their last conversation went. Pure vanilla wanted to say something, but Y/n raised their hand.

"We have a friend to save, and that is more important right now," Y/n Cookie said a bit strenly.

Gingerbrave and co, could feel the strange tension. So they hurried onto the ship.

"Y/n cookie," Pure vanilla said softly.

"I am your knight and am ready to serve," Y/n kneeled, stoic.

They get up to walk onto the ship.

-----------------------------------------------

Part 2 out

[starkeynation]

I love you, I’m sorry

A letter from reader to Rafe

Content: Angst, like PURE sad, the lamp looks weird, based on the song I love you, I’m sorry by Gracie Abrams (may or may not be accurate)

A/N: about that cliffhanger and happy ending, I changed my mind… also ignore any writing mistakes if there’s any and this was kinda rushed so I hope it still turns out good

Masterlist

dividers from @anitalenia

Rafe,

It is Saturday night. I should be out doing something, partying or whatever to enjoy myself, yet here i am, pen in hand, finding myself writing to you again. I know this letter will never reach you- it’ll end up crumpled at the bottom of my drawer or burned to ashes. Still, I can’t seem to stop myself.

It has been exactly two august ago since everything fell apart. I remember the way I laid it all out, raw, I wanted to be real, hoping that honesty would mend us. We weren’t perfect. Hell, we were far from it. We fought like fire and gasoline, burning everything we touched. Jealousy leads us to mistrust each other but even then, I didn’t think it would end the way it did. I never thought that fight would be the last..the final, devastating blow before you ghosted me and blocked me everywhere.

I swear it wasn’t my intention to break up with you, I thought by exposing the cracks, we could patch them together. Instead, the truth just ended up pushing you away. When you drove off in your Benz and left me standing at my gate, it felt like everything had stopped. The time, the world, my heart…everything froze. I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to scream, I wanted to stop you, beg you to stay, to tell you that we could still save us but you didn’t look back, and i was too late.

Now, i watch you from a distance as you become successful, helping your dad doing business, running Cameron’s development like you were born to do it. I heard your name whispered in admiration at the club where I work, how you charm people the way you trained for. And you know what? I’m so so proud of you Rafe. I always knew you had it in you. I’ll be rooting for you always, even from the shadows.

Maybe two summers from now we’ll be talking again at some point, exchange smiles, our lives untangled and we’re cool again. I can picture you’ll be in your family’s jet, travelling, and me, on my boat moving on with our own lives. By then, i hope..im actually ready to move on. I know you’ve already moved on- I mean, why wouldn’t you? Still, there’s part of me wish that you wouldn’t yet, and maybe, just maybe, you would take me back.

But that’s just selfish isn’t it? I was selfish when we were together too. I made everything about me, i was inconsiderate, I turn something small into raging battles. I didn’t listen, didn’t see you for who you were. I’m ashamed of the person I was, of the mistakes I made. After everything i did, I’m surprised you haven’t send someone to kill me yet.

Lately I find myself sitting on the porch, watching sunsets like we used to, with a glass of something strong in my hand. I laugh at myself, at the crash I made, because what else can I do? It’s a twisted kind of coping—laughing at my own heartbreak. It doesn’t feel real and it’s really hard to let go but i guess that’s just the way life goes.

I know i was a dick, Rafe. I had too many flaws to count but as sick as it sounds, I loved you first. You’ll always be my first love. You were the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me, a storm that left me shattered but alive. Your love had impact me deeply, it is carved in my soul. No matter where we are, i want you to know that I’ll carry the past and the weight of my mistakes with me. Trust me, it will always, haunt me.

I regret every second for not treating you well, for not being the person you needed. Lastly, i want you to know that I still, truly, deeply, love you, I’m sorry.

*Ding* you heard the bell rings. You rush downstairs to answer the door.

“Pizza delivery”, says the delivery boy standing in front of you. You almost forgot you ordered one, an hour ago. You take your prepaid alfredo chicken pizza and thank him. It was Rafe’s favourite pizza, you’re not sure if it’s still his favourite though. After shutting the door, you walk to your kitchen.

Just two seconds later, *ding* the bell rings again. Did the delivery boy forget anything? You thought.

You open the door, “yes-“ you pause. You couldn’t believe it, standing right in front of you,

“Topper?”

“Topper what are you doing here?” you ask, your voice laced with confusion.

He then steps aside and reveals a man behind him, lying on the steps of your porch- a man whose silhouette you’d recognize anywhere. “Rafe,” you whisper.

“Shit I’m sorry to bother you but this dumbass got into an accident for driving while he’s high,” Topper blurts out, panickly.

Your brow furrowing and your confusion deepens. You walk closer to Rafe and spot the blood dripping from his head, “Accident? What? Then why do you bring him here instead of the hospital?” You ask, your voice sharp, slicing through the chaos of the moment.

“He won’t let me. He insisted I bring him here to see you,” Topper explains.

“Y/n,” Rafe speaks up, his voice low and strained.

Your heart skips a beat. It’s like the universe has stopped spinning again. This is the first time you hear him calling your name after two whole years.

“Hey Rafe, you’re bleeding,” you say, your voice mix with feelings.

“I’m fine,” he says, giving a soft, disarming smile while trying to sit up.

You instruct Topper to go find some cloth to stop the bleeding. As he dissapears, you sit on your knees facing to Rafe, “Rafe, what happened? Why are you here?” you ask, still have no clue of what’s going on here.

“I wanted to see you,” he replies, putting on that damn smile again, the one that’s always managed to unravel you. “I miss you, y/n.”

Your face goes pale, your eyes widens, the words hang in the hair, heavy and unexpected. “Rafe, you’re drunk,” you accuse, trying to make sense of what’s happening right now.

“No, I’m not, i swear I’m very conscious right now,” he insists, his voice firm. You’re still not sure if he’s telling the truth or not. “I really miss you, y/n,” he continues, his voice low but still clear for you to hear it.

Your heart aches, torn between disbelief and the undeniable pull of his words. “How hard did you hit your head? God, you’re still bleeding. We need to see a doctor,” you say, trying to stand up, but he grabs your hand, pulling you back down.

“Stop it, I’m fine i swear…this is nothing,” he says waving off the concern. Just then, Topper returns with a towel in his hand. He hands the towel to you and says, “dude, are you sure you’re okay? When i saw your car there were smokes everywhere. Looks like you hit that tree pretty hard,” his voice fill with concern.

“I’m fine Top, just go. I need to talk to y/n,” Rafe says with a dismissive wave. Topper hesitates, he looks at you for confirmation as if you’re the one in charge here. You nod at him, signalling an approval, “s’okay Top i can handle this.”

“Okay, just call me if anything happens,” he says. “Thank you,” you mutter softly to Topper as he’s leaving towards his car.

With Topper gone, you shift your focus back to Rafe. You take the towel and start dabbing on the blood on his forehead, “we still need to get this stitched up,” you say. Rafe then grabs your wrist, his grip firm but not forceful, “look at me,” he demands.

You look at him straight in the eyes, drowning in his blue eyes. It’s overwhelming- staring at the man that you love but no longer yours.

“I do mean what i said, i miss you y/n and i wanted to see you,” he says, his tone steady and sure.

“But why now?” You ask, your voice breaking under the weight of the question.

“Sar..Sarah told me tonight that you’ve been writing letters about me. She found them stashed under your bed,” he says, hesitantly.

Your stomach drops and you shake your head in disbelief, “God…i knew it there was something wrong. She was acting so weird when she left this morning,” you mutter.

“So it’s true? You’ve been writing about me?”

Your face is turning red, you’re struggling to find the words. “I- yes…I’ve been writing letters. Pretending like I’m gonna send it to you but i never do,” you stutter.

“Why didn’t you just send them?” He presses, his voice low, almost pleading.

“You know why Rafe…you’ve moved on. You blocked me few months after we broke up. You’re thriving now with your job, you got your whole life together, and I- I was the reason why we broke up. I can’t just crawl my way back into your life like nothing happened,” you shatter, your voice breaking as you’re struggling to control your tears.

Rafe shakes his head. He brushes his thumb over your knuckles and kisses it. “You’re wrong y/n, you’re absolutely wrong. I’ve been doing nothing over the past two years except than trying to forget about you. That’s why I’ve been doing all these jobs, thinking it could distract me, but no,” he shakes his head again. “Nothing could make me stop thinking about you.”

His confession leaves you breathless, your tears streaming down your face as he continues. “About the blocking and disappearing, I’m really sorry, I was a coward. The truth is, that day i came to your house to apologize. Then, as I stood outside, i saw you were laughing with jj through your window. I knew you guys were not together cause after jj left, I may or may not have confronted him…” he then mouthed sorry. “But then, I remember the way you looked so happy when you’re with him. At that time, I knew I had to let you go cause you deserve someone better and you deserve to be happy so that’s why I blocked you..as if that makes any difference.”

You idiot,” you scoff. “I never wanted anyone else, only you Rafe, only you. You’re the only one who could truly make me happy.”

His eyes glisten, his smile soft and hesitant. “Please forgive me y/n, I swear I’m a better person now and I love- I love you, so much. I still do.”

You reach up, caress his cheek and pull him in for a kiss. “I love you too Rafe,” you whisper. He cups your face and returns the kiss. The kiss is passionate, slow and tender. His lip is so soft and only god knows how much you miss this. The world fades around you, leaving only the two of you, two broken pieces finding their way back to each other.

You pull away from his face and let out a giggle. “Why are you laughing?” He asks, can’t help but let out a soft giggle too.

“Before you came I was actually writing another letter for you,” you admit, a shy smile appears on your face.

“Oh really? Tell me about it baby,” he smirks. Your smile widens at the sound of the nickname that rolls out from his mouth. “Mm I miss that. You, calling me baby. Anyways, it’s in my room, wanna come in?” You ask.

He shakes his head, pulling you closer as he leans back against the stairs railing. “Hmm in a bit sweetheart, you can tell me here while we stargaze. I missed your porch- and mostly you, of course,” he replies with a faint smile.

So you do. You talk to him about the letter while your head rest on his shoulder and your fingers intertwined. “Lastly I wrote, I love you, I’m sorry,” you say, explaining the last content of the letter. But then, you realise he has gone quiet. His stillness unsettling. You glance up to him, “Rafe?” He’s not responding. You check his pulse but there is none. Panic sets in as you shake him, calling his name.

“Rafe”

“Rafe, wake up”

“Wake up!”

“Wake up!”

“Y/n”

“Y/n”

“Y/n, wake up”

You gasp, your heart is pounding like a drum. You’re sweating all over your body as reality crashes down. It was a nightmare.

“Hey..baby you okay?” You turn your head to your right and realise it’s Rafe. He’s okay, he’s alive and he’s sitting on the bed next to you. Relief floods through you like a tidal wave.

“Is it the nightmare again?” He asks. You nod, signalling him that he’s right.

“It’s okay baby I got you. Here, come back to sleep,” he says, gently pulling you into his arms. You smile and cuddle him, clinging to the illusion of safety his embrace provides. You close your eyes again trying to fall back to sleep till your alarm suddenly rings.

You wake up with a tear running down your cheek. You hit the snooze button and realise that was a dream and this time, it’s the true reality. You look to the other side of your bed, it’s empty. It always has been for quite a while now. The truth is, that night after Rafe collapsed, you called for an ambulance. On the way to the hospital, they try everything to make his heart beat again, but nothing works. It was too late. He had lost too many blood before that you weren’t aware of and that same night, Rafe had died in your arms.

It’s been 3 years since the tragic. You keep having the same dream almost every night. Part of you is grateful that you and Rafe had ended in good terms but another part of you knows that the truth is you’ll never get the chance to redeem yourself and be a better partner. There’s nothing remaining other than the memories that will haunt you forever.

Rafe, if you’re hearing this, I love you, I’m sorry.

Like and reblog if you want to kys after reading this😇☺️

[sincerelyzee]

established relationship | sylus x (assumed)fem!reader | phone sex | mutual masturbating | porn with some plot |

your boyfriend being the leader of onychinus was hard enough as is, only able to meet in the night. but, it was worse when you’d go weeks without seeing each other due to full schedules or trips.

sylus said he’d be able to see you around the end of this week - something he told you last week as well. now, you’re sat on your bed, phone pressed to your ear but it does nothing to conceal your frown from him.

“i know, sweetie. i thought i’d be back yesterday.. this trip is taking longer than expected.” he sighs into the microphone, the exhaustion laced deeply in his voice but he insists on calling you the nights he can’t come see you.

your end of the line stays quiet. truly, you have nothing to say about the matter; all you could do is cry but your tears would be useless since they won’t make him appear before you. so, you sit quietly in your disappointment with your phone pressed to your ear.

“sweetheart, let me see you.” his voice comes out soft, like a plea. like, seeing your sad face illuminated against his phone screen will ease the dull, ache deep in his heart. you comply, also hoping that seeing him will make it feel better.

“there you are kitten.” a small smile creeps onto your lips, your thighs press together and your head turns away from the screen so he can’t see the effect he has on you. “hi sylus.” you keep your words short and tone sharp, leaving no room for him to worm his way in and melt your front. you are happy to see him, in all his exhaustion. he looks unreasonably handsome this way, in your opinion.

“you look nice. i’m sure you’re having a blast wherever you are.” despite your harsh accusation, the compliment draws a light chuckle from sylus. a handful of butterflies wake in your tummy and flutter around at the sound. “im miserable here, so far from you. you must miss me more than i expected if these are your words, hmm?” all you do is look into the camera and nod your head pitifully, hoping for the best.

he coos at the sight, a little too consiscending for you liking. “sylus, why can’t you quickly leave and see me then go back? even an hour will be okay.” you try pleading, the whine in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed by your man and he makes sure you know he heard it by chuckling.

“you know that’s impossible sweetie. we use have to be patient, then we’ll be together again and i’ll give you just what you’re asking for.” you blink at the screen then put on your best i-have-no-idea-what-you’re-talking-about face. “i haven’t asked for anything but to see you the time you said you’d be back.” he nods and hums at your words, as if hes agreeing with what you’re saying, “that, and something else you aren’t saying explicitly. maybe, it has something to do with the calendar.”

you know exactly which calendar he’s referring to but you still turn your head to look the giant yearly calendar up on your wall then back at him. “the calendar?”

there’s something so endearing and unexplainably sexy about your attempts at being clueless to sylus. this week you’re ovulating, you know it and sylus knows it too. it pains sylus in a way he cannot express that he can’t be there for you, in the way the natural instincts in your body need him to be.

“isn’t it hot there in linkon? i suggest you get comfortable, sweetie. no need to be so clothed in my presence.” continuing your little game of feigned innocence, you nod at sylus’ suggestion and undress out your pyjamas. using your pillows as a pillar for your phone to rest against so sylus can see all of you.

a wicked grin sits on his lips as he takes in all of you, he pull his robe open at the sight of you then frees himself from the constraints of his boxers the he lowers the camera so you can see his growing cock. your clit swells ever so slightly and twitches at the sight. “come closer, sweetheart. i need to see you better.”

you move your hips closer to the screen, parting your thighs more for his viewing pleasure. a low groan rumbles from his throat, his hand slowly moves up and down at the sight. “won’t you touch yourself for me?” as if you’re his robot, your fingers find your clit and your two middle fingers press against it and move it around in small circles; a soft sigh escapes at the feeling.

sylus’ deep crimson eyes would burn through the screen if they could with the sheer intensity he’s watching your fingers move on your sensitive bud. “put them in, kitten.. i know you can.” his words fall out his lips before he can think about them and carefully choose them. your walls clench around nothing at his sudden command, but you obey and slide your fingers into your slippery hole one at a time then you curl them up the way sylus usual does and you press against the soft spot embedded in your walls, earning a slight quiver in your thighs before you start to slowly pump your fingers in and out.

sylus brings his phone closer to his face, so he has a better view, in turn his hand starts to move faster. sylus can’t find anything to say other than encouragement to validate you into continuing. soon the call is only sylus’, “that’s it kitten..”, “you’re doing such a good job.”, “you sound so beautiful.”, “i can’t believe you’re all mine.”

“‘m gonna cum sy..” your voice comes out barely above a whisper but your microphone luckily catches it, and so do sylus’ ears, in response he groans lowly and asks— no demands that you cum for him. happily, you oblige. your fingers work at all your sensitive spots to pull the orgasm out of you in a way that fails to replicate the way it feels when sylus does it.

your back lifts off the bed a little as your body shudders and quivers through your orgasm. your boyfriend watches with his jaw dropped and a groan of your name is all the warning he gets before hot cum spurts out his tip and lands on his stomach and rib cage.

your fingers slowly leave your creamy hole and you slowly lower your legs, your eyes closed and sylus’ hand let’s go and his head falls back as he attempts to catch his breath. “i’ll come see you as soon as possible, sweetheart. i’ll make sure of it.”

———

happy new year!! let’s have a good 2025 guys! one of my resolutions is to write more, let’s hope it comes to be!!!! woo! yay!

this fic is inspired by the tweet above, the idea got me out my writing slump let’s all clap our hands and jump for joy!!

(i forgot how to write smut 😝👍)

[lovelettersfromluna]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Sweet Little Lies *ੈ✩‧₊˚

{Ellie Williams x Reader}

Summary: Being on tour with someone you’ve been ignoring for two months is hard…but doable

an: AHHHHHH!!! I am so excited to finally give you guys the second part of The Perfect Girl! I can confidently say that the vibe of this one has been so much fun to write and think about ideas for, and it makes me so happy that you’ve been enjoying it! This one is pretty short, im sorry but! the next part will be longer, fluffier and much smuttier hehe. Anyways, I hope you guys like this part too. 🖤 (Also yes I know I posted this before the poll was up but y'all saw how it was going im sorry I am an impatient woman)

Warnings: 18+!!! Eventual smut, Ellie is selfish point blank period, reader is extremely sad, some making out but doesn't lead to much, ANGST!!!!, this one is pretty short so not many warnings hehe. let me know if I missed anything pleaseeee.

Part 1 can be read here!

The rest of the tour was…rough.

After the night at the club, the silent treatment that you had for Ellie had gone from simply ignoring her, to pretending like she didn’t even exist.

Shows were awkward, practice was awkward, being in a fucking band with her was awkward. Not to mention the very noticeable divide that it put between you and the other members.

The entire situation made it hard to talk to anyone. It made you feel extremely isolated, because you had convinced yourself that no one could possibly understand, especially not the other two men in your band, so you barely spoke to anyone.

In return of that, the other members found it hard to talk to Ellie. Because ever since you had pulled away, things were just no longer the same.

The late nights hanging out in someone’s hotel room stopped, partying after shows were done without you, and the only times anyone truly ever saw you was when you had to perform. When you were done, you’d quietly go back to your hotel room to sulk.

The tour ended that way, with you silently pulling all of your things from the back of the tour bus once you had returned home and catching a cab back to your apartment in the city, going against the tradition that you all had done every time when coming back home, which was going to your favorite local bar and trying to out drink each other before stumbling home in the cold.

So now, you were home, still ignoring everyone.

It was hard for you. Because the girl you’ve looked up to for so long, wanted for so long, had said such mean things about you. And you weren’t an idiot, because never for a second did you ever think that Ellie could ever want you the way that you wanted her, even when you were wrapped up in her arms at night, or when she whispered stupid jokes in your ear whenever you were sad, her lips ghosting over your skin, you never once thought that you could have her. Because you weren’t a kid with a great big imagination, with hopes and dreams that you’d one day be swept off of your feet by her.

You knew deep down that it would never work out, and you were okay with that. You had long accepted that your love was unrequited, and as much as it hurt you to see her date girls she’d only known for a few weeks, and fuck countless groupies every night, you never let it get to you.

But hearing her say what she said, hearing those words fall from her pretty lips….it was like something was eating you from the inside out, and the love that you had for Ellie couldn’t outweigh the pain that she brought you.

And you couldn’t fucking do it anymore.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

The decision you had made didn’t come without heartache. You cried, you screamed, you threw things, ruining your room entirely, your rage and sadness burned you so deeply, because in all of this you still blamed yourself, and not her.

It had been almost a month since you got back from tour, and you could count on your hands how many times you left your apartment. Dylan and Charlie came by the visit a few times, and their apologetic smiles somehow pissed you off even further, because it made you feel small and frail, like you’d never be able to come back from this on your own.

You appreciated them, and you enjoyed the times they were around because it gave you an out from thinking about Ellie.

But all good things would come to an end.

That’s how you found yourself at Dylan’s apartment. He was shocked when you showed up, having not seen you outside of your apartment in who knows how long.

He knew that whatever it was you were there for, was serious.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ellie felt like she was seeing red.

She slammed the door to her car once she arrived at your apartment building, her nostrils flaring as she breathed hard. She couldn’t even stop for a moment to think about what she was doing, or if you’d even be home.

But after her phone call with Dylan, she didn’t care. She needed to see you.

After tour had ended, she had found her way to your place a few times. The first time she had a bouquet of red roses gripped between her hand, which after 10 minutes of standing outside your door, she took home and threw in the trash. The second time she came by with a box of cookies from your favorite bakery, which she ended up angrily shoving into Charlie’s chest when she came back home and he was at her apartment waiting for her to teach him a new guitar riff. The third time she simply slipped a hand written note under your door about how sorry she was, which you had promptly ripped up once you saw the small ‘from: Ellie :’)’ written on the front.

That was the last time she had showed up, figuring that you’d come around whenever you had cooled down from the entire situation. What she didn’t expect though, was for it to go on for months after tour had ended.

But she was done, she was over this and she was over you ignoring her.

She knocked on your door loudly, staring knuckles banging on the wood of your front door, making you frown as the loud noise echoed throughout your apartment. You sighed, opening the door harshly.

“I told you I didn’t want one of your fucking pamphlets! If you don’t leave I’m calling the fucking-“ your words were cut off, eyes going wide as you looked up and caught eye of Ellie.

A very angry Ellie.

You sighed tiredly, already trying to close the door on her. “Go home Ellie…” you mumbled out. But her palm was pressing against your door and stopping you from closing it on her.

“You’re quitting the fucking band?” Her voice is harsh, and her words make you freeze as you stop pushing your door closed.

You figured word would’ve gotten out sooner or later…you just preferred later rather than sooner.

You let out a sigh, one of your hands coming up to tuck a strand of your hair back before you give her a half shrug. “I told Dylan not to tell you until the end of the month..” you mumble out, your eyes staring at your sock clad feet.

The second you confirm it, you’re confirming Ellie’s greatest nightmare, and she’s pushing past you and walking into your apartment before you can even tell her that you don’t want her in that, and that she needed to leave.

There’s no use in fighting her, because she’s already there and she’s clearly very pissed off, so you simply close your door behind you and lock it. You figure that if this is the last conversation you’ll have with Ellie, it might as well be this one.

Ellie is pacing back and forth in your small living room, hands in her hips as she tries to get a grip of everything that she’s learned within the past few hours. She wants it to be a lie, she wanted to come to your apartment and have you tell her it was all a prank, and she’d finally hear that pretty laugh of yours when you too made up and cuddled on your couch.

But you weren’t, you weren’t giving Ellie any of that and it made her feel even more pissed off.

“Ellie…” you mumbled softly, reaching out and trying to grab her arm gently, trying to calm the girl down so you could explain.

Ellie pulled her arm away the second you tried reaching out for her. The soft tone of yours was all she had wanted for the last three months, hearing the way you’d soothe her when she became too consumed in her feelings.

But Ellie felt betrayed, she felt like she was being left behind, like you were throwing her away and leaving her like everyone else did.

You were abandoning her.

“No! Are you fucking kidding me? You don’t talk to me for three months and the first thing I hear about you doesn’t even come directly from you? You didn’t even have the fucking decency to sit us down and tell all of us…you told Dylan and you had him deliver your message to us like he’s your fucking bitch” she spat.

You knew she was mad, you knew she’d come to your apartment in a rage when she found out. You had prepared for it, you prepared for all the nasty things Ellie would say to you.

But you didn’t expect any of this..

You inhaled deeply, trying your best not to let her words affect you.

“Look, Ellie…I just…it took me a long time to figure out what I needed to do to feel better. I don’t…it just isn’t working for me anymore-“ she cut you off, her hurtful words coming back with a vengeance.

“Bull fucking shit.” She spits out, and her tone is enough to make you flinch. Her words are cutting into you just like they had that night in her hotel room, and you’re trying to find something in you to not lose your fucking mind right now.

“You’re leaving because of me, because of something I said. You’re…you’re leaving behind something fucking amazing because I hurt your feelings. I don’t know how many times I have to say it! But I’m fucking sorry! Okay? I feel awful for what I said and I wish I could take it back but I can’t, and I’m sorry, but you’re being weak for leaving because of it” she yells out.

And everything stops….because all you can hear from anything shes just said…

Is that you, are weak.

And it’s like some sort of fucking phenomenon or something, because you suddenly feel like you’re being transported to that night, and you’re standing behind a wall, listening to Ellie laugh about how…how fucking unwanted you are.

And you don’t hold back anymore. You’re done holding back.

“Yes Ellie, are you even listening to yourself right now? Have you for one fucking second not been a selfish asshole to think about how any of this has affected me?” Your voice is tired, and it sounds like you’ve been internally fighting with yourself to keep these words inside.

“You hurt me Ellie! If you’re so sorry you said those things, then why did you fucking say them? Is it so hard to just say you don’t see me that way? To be a sensible human fucking being and not trying to dig me into a deeper hole than you already fucking have?” Your voice is growing louder and louder, and you’re slowly closing the space between the both of you as you shout at her.

When you’re right in front of her, your chest almost pressed against hers, your voice is quiet, and it almost sounds like you’re whispering to her for a moment.

“I never once believed that you could ever want me…but saying the things that you said about me, and then sabotaging me whenever I’m trying to live my fucking life…I can’t do it anymore Ellie…I can’t be around you anymore..”

Ellie almost fucking whimpers, because the tone of your voice is nearly enough to bring her to tears.

You aren’t even fighting anymore, you’re just tired. You’re practically begging her to let you go because she’s just held you in her hands for too long, never giving you the chance to grow and become something more than what you are.

Ellie feels it, just by the look in your eyes, she can feel that this will be the last chance she has to tell you, to come clean and stop lying to herself and to you.

Shes being given one last chance, so she knows she can’t mess it up.

“I’m in love with you.” She deadpans.

You roll your eyes, walking away from the girl. You had no time for games, and that surely meant Ellie falsely confessing her love for you just to keep you in the band.

You nodded your head towards your door as you watched her. “Nice try Ellie. I’m sure you’ll be able to charm some other girl enough to replace me as lead singer by the end of the month. It’s time for you to go” you sigh out.

And Ellie is practically whining as she makes her way over to you, towering over you as she pleads.

“I…I’m not lying…fuck id never lie about this. Leave the band if you want, I don’t care, I just…” she grabs your hand, bringing it up to lay over her heart as she sighs “I need you to know how sorry I am..and how I feel about you…” she sighs out.

Your eyebrows were furrowed as you looked down at your hand pressed against her chest, rolling your eyes as you used the placement to push her away from you.

“Ellie, cut it out. Seriously. I heard what you said about me, I heard all of it. Im not your type, remember? I look like a kicked puppy everytime you’re with another girl” you sighed out as you pushed past her, walking off into your living room before plopping onto the couch with a loud huff.

Ellie was groaning softly, hearing her own words being relayed to her in your voice made her heart break even more than it had before. She followed behind you, sitting on the couch and reaching for you.

“I..I didn’t mean any of that! I panicked!” her words catch your attention, but she groans when she sees the unamused look you’re giving her.

“I swear…just…” She tried, pleading for just a bit of your time before she was getting on her knees in front of you, pushing your legs apart so that her body was pressed against the edge of the couch, and you had no choice but to look at her.

“I’m an idiot, okay? The last thing I wanted was for Charlie and Dylan to tease me about having a massive fucking crush on you…I just…you’re too good for me, I’m not…I know that you deserve better than me…but I can’t help the way I feel about you. It eats away at me at night and it makes it hard to sleep and it doesn’t stop unless you’re around” She rambled, her eyebrows knitted together as she spoke.

Her closeness made your cheeks burn red, and you tried to keep your face down because you knew the longer you’d look into her eyes, the easier it would be for her to make you fold. You frowned as you shook your head, and before you could even speak, she was already talking.

“Please…please I’m so sorry baby…it’s killing me…not being with you is fucking killing me. I’ll leave the band, I’ll pack up and you can find a new guitarist to take my place just..” her words died down, and her fingers were placed gently under your chin to force you to look at her, and you almost lost your breath because..

Ellie was crying.

And not only was Ellie crying, but Ellie was crying for you.

Her green eyes were rimmed red, and her eyelashes were clumping together, and your insides twisted because all you wanted to do was to hold her, pull her into your chest and tell her that it was okay, that you were okay, and that you could be together.

But you couldn’t. Not after what she did.

“Ellie I…I can’t…” you mumbled softly. You opened your mouth to explain further, but you found that you couldn’t speak.

Because Ellie’s like were pressed firmly against yours.

Her long fingers were cupping either side of your face, keeping you close as her lips moved against yours. You gasped softly, trying to break away from her, but she used it as an opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth, and from that point on, you melted into her completely.

You moaned softly, and Ellie was already pushing you back to lay against the couch, her body hovering over yours as she kissed you so deeply, so passionately, you could feel all of the love she had for you seeping into your mouth.

It felt amazing, having you pressed up against her, whining into her mouth and breathlessly begging for more. It was like every dream Ellie had ever had of you was finally coming true…

But she couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that came with it.

If this is what Ellie had always wanted, why was it that she felt like she was doing something wrong? Why did it loom over her like a dark cloud, soaking into her core and making her feel terrible about doing this to you…distracting you from everything she’s done with sweet kisses and breathy moans.

She wanted it…god she wanted it more than anything

But this wasn’t right.

She furrowed her eyebrows as she gripped your waist, moaning softly as she pulled away from you. You frown in confusion, staring up at her and searching for what might be wrong, what you had done to make her stop.

“What? What is it Els?” And Ellie swears she’s never heard something so sweet, the nickname you had for her like the sweetest melody she’d ever heard.

She sighed, gently pulling away from you as she shook her head. “This isn’t right…” she mumbled softly. She sits down across from you, her legs spread with her elbows resting on her knees, hunched over a bit.

You frown as you watch her, sitting up and adjusting your tank top, suddenly feeling extremely exposed underneath the girls presence. “Do you…not want me?” You mumble softly. Ellie’s eyes are nearly bulging out of her head as she quickly turns to you, grabbing your face and pulling you close as she shakes her head quickly.

“No! God no I….you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of angel…it’s just…” she sighs, her voice raspy before she starts again. “This isn’t how this is supposed to go…you’re worth so much more than what I’ve given to you…I’ve been mean, and selfish and...And I come here expecting you to just forgive me and...and give yourself to me and...it isn't right.." She sighs out. You pout softly as you listen to her, and you are suddenly remembering all of the things that Ellie said, and you can't help but agree that the wounds are still fresh.

She notices how deep in thought you are, and she uses her strong hands to grip your thighs and pull you so you're straddling her lap. She licks her lips, her hands toying with the plush skin of your thighs as you both stay there for a moment, before she breaks the silence.

"Im not going to convince you that you need to stay in the band...if you really want to leave, thats your decision..but..." She sighs softly.

"Let me prove to you that you're what I want...give me one chance to do this the right way, and I promise princess...you won't regret it.." Her voice is raspy, and it reminds you of all the times she would talk to you while you both laid in bed together and you couldn't sleep. It reminds you of all the times Ellie called you on the phone in the middle night, too high and too needy, just so she could hear your voice.

And it reminds you of how in love you are with Ellie Williams..

Your hands slowly go to rest on her shoulders, your fingers toying with the ends of her hair at the nape of her neck, and you can swear you can see the girl visibly glow the second you give her a nod. In an instant, she's pulling you closer and pressing kisses to your neck, in spots that she knows you're extremely ticklish at. You nudge her gently to stop before you both settle down.

"Thank you angel...I promise...I'll do right by you.." She mumbles softly, her pretty green eyes staring at your plush lips before she leans in, pressing the softest, most gentle kiss to them, almost as if she were afraid she'd break you all over again.

[tobicup]

Idea.

Jason actually kills tim in titans tower. It's not on purpose. He was so angry and his vision swirled green. He couldn't see or think straight. Everything was just hate and anger and bright green haze.

He cuts too deep. Deeper then he meant, it was just supposed to be a warning but his mind is gone in a whirlwind of negative emotions.

He comes to with red on his hands, to tims shallow burbling breaths. Wet and gasping and agonized. And no. No. He didn't mean to. He tries to stem the bleeding but it's too late. Tims teary eyes looking up at him, and theyre not filled with anger (like his were) or hate (how could he hate a child so much) or even fear. He just looks sad as they meet his. He tries to speak but he cant, he should already be dead, instead he mouths slowly, carefully *go home*.

Lips bloody, unable to speak or breathe and probably hurting so badly... hes telling his murderer to go back to his family. And regret fills him so deeply because this could have been his brother. This loving, self-sacrificial idiot child couldve been someone he loved. Maybe already loves a little. He never wanted to end him, just robin. He didnt want Tim to die. He didnt.

Now he has to go home. He'll honor the kids last wishes even if it means getting thrown right into arkham next to the clown. He deserves as much. Hes just as bad. Killed a little bird too young. Before he could even truly fly. Relished in his pain.

A hand tugging his pants weakly, snapping him out of his dark thoughts. tims eyes pleading and exhausted. Holding onto life by a thread, "... okay kid. You win. Ill go home... im so- " voice breaking as grief wells up "-im so goddamn sorry. You didnt deserve this"

Tim just smiles, hand gripping his pants letting go to oat his knee as if to say he forgives jason he can never be forgiven for this and then his hand goes limp. His goal of saving the bat family finally fulfilled. The accomplishment bittersweet.

.

Jason picking up tim body, blood on his hands, on his knees where he had kneeled next to tim. On his chest where tim is pressed against it. And he carries him to the nearest zeta. Carries him home. Hes scared. He wants his dad but he doesnt think he'll have one ever again after this.

.

Bruce silent when he sees them. Grim and broken and grief stricken. Trying to push all the emotions down. Another dead robin..another child son. In the arms of the one he lost before..he cant feel anything right now. It all hurts so much. Jasons apologizing even as hes saying he knows he cant be forgiven. He sounds so young and scared. Hes sorry. He didnt mean to.

Bruce doesnt know what to say. He wants more then anything to be happy his son is home but- but his son has killed a child. Killed tim. The only light left in bruces life since jays death.

Dick screaming when he enters the cave. Ignoring Jason entirely. Sobbing over tims tiny broken body. Hed been to late. Again. Hadnt even known his baby brother was in trouble. Hadnt known he was needed.

He hadnt known for jason either. Hadnt even been able to see his body. Just gone.

He doesnt know which is worse.

.

.

.

Tim.

Tim is... was robin and robin was...? Is? Magic. He knows this. Somehow he thinks hes heard it before. A bright laugh, cheeky grin. The words distorted like a broken record but still there. Imprinting into his fading mind. Imprinting on his soul.

Robin is magic.

Hes somewhere cold but familiar. Comforting. But also not here at all. Theres crying. Voices wet. He should find them. Those voices should never be so sad. Thay was his job. To make sure those people were not sad, or angry, or suicidal.

His purpose.

He is Robin.

(Ghost tim following the batfam as they grieve him. And jason trying to reintegrate. He follows jason the most. His shame and guilt. The others treat him coldly. His self hatred tearing him down which is not allowed. Jason should be happy. He is family)

.

Tim one of very few ghosts in gotham. The only *positive* ghost in gotham. Following the bats and trying to bring joy to them any ways he can he cant do much

[slightlycomicobsessed]

i know i talk about dani and illyana fucking on here and i still believe in it but also i feel like a lot of marvel writers (especially people who write illyana) have really dropped the ball when it comes to her and dani's actual canonical friendship. like obviously in the source material it's confirmed that illyana trusts dani more than kitty (i'm going to make some katyana shippers mad with this....)

but along with that dani has always been, well, the least afraid of illyana. out of all the new mutants, she's always been the one who knows the most about illyana, about her powers, and the one who was always willing to give illyana the benefit of the doubt.

and dani has always been protective over all the new mutants but i find it both really sweet and a little sad the way that illyana latches on to dani's protectiveness. she truly does care and trust her deeply, even when they haven't seen each other in years.

like this feels like such a small, insignificant detail, remembering that dani always wore a red bandana, but it feels so important because it shows that illyana cares. i mean of course she cares, but to remember a detail like that, even after years, it's significant. of course, I also can't forget to mention this scene, too, from the newest Magik ongoing.

idk i just feel like if you're being haunted by the guilt of all the people you care about i think that one of those people being dani is significant. i just think these two have a really underappreciated dynamic and i need more people to care about them as friends because im all alone here on the dani & illyana bandwagon okay-

[kcokaine]

Hi sorry but people on twitter are saying you’re a nazi and I was just wondering if that was true??

Not only is this quite outrageous take on someone without like 0 actual proof. I can admit in the "proof"(the zionism thing which people mean as Nazism) people used against me was me at most being insensitive/ignorant which i already sincerely apologized for because i wasn't edjucated on the matter whatsoever. It was not right of me and I never repeated that after i found out about the truth of things.

But also this is ridiculous. I'm not american, I'm from a country that has been wartorn by nazis and communists. All my life I was taught about atrocities these two sides did to central europe and other countries. If you had a swastika tattooed on you here you would get literally arrested or killed on the street. But that isn't even an argument, that's just me stating how stupid and hypocritical it would be of anyone to support such things from the area i was raised in. I'm highly anti nazi, anti facist or anti anything that is even similar to that. I stand with civilians and innocent people that are being collateral damage to war and governments. Therefore I'm not a trump supporter, i was always left leaning i was always for rights. Hell I'm a bisexual woman, how could i ever support someone like Trump in my right mind?

I do not understand where this claim is absolutely coming from and i dont understand how people disregard the severity of saying this online with confidence. This is such a serious accusation that can ruin reputations unrightfully and just shows how people have no interest searching for more proof or anything before saying serious things because all they care about is drama and that the finger is not pointed at them in that moment. We as society got too comfortable about canceling and just saying anything, growing into complete parasocial relationship within each other. You are either no person to them, no human being or you are a glorified idea. Everyone is a person behind that screen and if they ever got over they pride and looked themselves in the core they would understand they also do mistakes and not everything is black and white.

I'm hurt by these accusations. This isn't anywhere close to calling someone names or weird for having odd preferences and stuff in fandoms. This is claiming that I support actual genocide, suffering of real people which is fucking awful. It makes me sad, deeply hurt. I'm not saying im better than anyone else, i dont need to be, I want this genocide to end same as anyone else would. I reflected, I took criticizm to heart and I'm now trying to truly do something with my following, i retweet donation links and donate to the charities with spare money i have.

The truth is, no matter what I say, it will never be enough for the people that just want to have moral highground, they act like they never made a mistake, like they were never ignorant in their life. I wonder how they would like it if someone took something terrible out of context and endlessly kept posting it on social media just to feel better without you having a proper chance to redeem yourself, always being seen as a "nazi" in some people's eyes because someone lied about you. It's sad and I'm sorry you keep seeing this lie about me. I think about it every day. And with this message I wanted to let you know what I truly feel and think. If you believe it is on you, but I'm finally putting my thoughts out there after months of thinking.

[mcyt-trios]

PROPAGANDA:

Familoier:

I CANT SPEND THE NEXT HOUR TYPING

THE TRIO OF ALL TIME TRULY- ALL 3 OF THEM LOVE AND CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER SO MUCH- LIKE ROIER AND CELLBIT ARE MARREID YEAH BUT THEY STILL CONSIDER JAIDEN PART OF THEIR FAMILY SHE IS IMPORTANT TO THEM AND THEY ARE IMPORTANT TO HER- ROIER AND JAIDEN WILL ALWAYS BE PARTNERS NO MATTER WHAT

theee relationship of all time: roier is husbands with cellbit and jaiden is his qpp, they are all so caring for each other and they have had their tension and their bad moments but there's a genuine want to communicate and grow better all the time :( <3

Cellbit and Roier are romantic married, Roier and Jaiden were platonic partners raising a child together, and all 3 are chaos together! But get along so so well! They support each other so much and care about each other so deeply and they are all Sillies

this is jaiden, and this is jaiden's partner/ the father of her child roier, and this is roier's cannibal husband cellbit

Boreal Trio:

look. look okay so youve got two battle hardened at least mildly immortal warrior brothers-in-arms slash best friends slash partners for life, and then youve got this anxious, queer wet cat of an enderman who lives in their shed. oooh my god this is gonna be so incoherent im so sorry. ranboo was doing soooo awful when doomsday happened and both techno and phil immediately went him. that one. he needs to be safe and supported and away from all of this he should come with us. only if he wants to. and he did want to!! he was soo anxious but he got more confident!! none of them are great at expressing their feelings verbally (techno is but he also does other things) so they do it in other ways! phil rushing over as soon as he hears ranboo CLOSE to water because he knows it hurts him! techno moving the prison break up from 'some time soon i guess' to 'now now we are leaving now we are doing this RIGHT NOW' as SOON as ranboo gets detained!! avenging his ghost, throwing any and all hesitation about tubbo away to work with him because that was what ranboo wanted, that was what he asked. always checking in and making sure he was okay. all three of them are soooo dysfunctional but i love them so much. think of the mansion raid streams!! techno and ranboo off adventuring, phil taking care of the animals and getting up at 3am real time to trigger their stasis chambers!! they care about each other all so fucking much and they are a family! please vote for them i will be very sad otherwise :(

[coffeesleep-ooc]

LiuShen thoughts

Im unsure why, but im obsessed with this ship. LQG’s devotion to someone he once hated is amazing, we know that his character is always righteous and follows his principles to the extreme, which usually doesn’t make him as approachable to common ppl or ppl in general. But there’s something about SY!SQQ getting under his skin and wife beaming him softly bit constantly? To the point that LQG has no idea when he started to love the man that he believes tried to kill him when they were disciples. I love that.

But it makes me really sad when authors subtly make SQQ ooc, like, i won’t declare myself an authority in sv or in SY or anything, but sometimes LiuShen ends up feeling a bit too much like Wangxian? With the stoic type and the flirty type???? SQQ does tease LQG but he does not flirt! That man is 100% heterosexual in his head until you break thru his extra large concrete walls, and once you do he completely shuts down for the rest of his life, he becomes a shy stuttering mess and when he finally realizes he is actually in a relationship with a man that he actually does love, he is not going to call him love, beloved, husband, etc unless he literally is convinced that he has no choice (this tsun lil shit), so it’s so weird for me when SQQ is the one to initiate so boldly fully knowing what he is doing??? It feels ooc to me. LiuShen is completely slowburn unless we are stepping away from the canon settings or a third party interferes a lot. LQG would be the type to be shy but also be upfront about his feelings but managing to make Shen oblivious Qingqiu think that Liu-shidi is truly a good friend, a good shidi, etc etc! They are both shy flustered messes (LQG less so but still flustered) and once they are married SQQ will totally pretend he doesn’t need small or big gestures of affection and LQG will pretend he doesn’t notice SQQ wants those said gestures while doing them anyway. I believe their love is not super flashy like BingQiu’s can be, but everyone knows that SQQ is obsessed with LQG and vice versa! SQQ is a creature of blatant obsession while denying it to himself, and LQG is a creature if firmness and loyalty, i also think he is so awkward bc he feels deeply (tho this is more of a headcanon to me) so everyone would know and watch for the day they finally acknowledge it dammit!

I think that BingQiu has balance in a way that LiuShen doesn’t, bc LiuShen are both shy and usually won’t take the first step unless something extreme happens, LBH brings SQQ out of his shell almost by force (SQQ still loves him in canon but the methods are wince-worthy) and that’s something LQG doesn’t do! I wouldn’t say it’s good or bad, the storytelling sometimes needs one or the other, but it’s true that it makes everything between LiuShen softer and less angsty (again, depending on the story you are telling), both pairings have the identity issue, but i believe in LiuShen is often overlooked that it would be a bit more hard for LQG than for LBH (the amount of time they passed with SJ!SQQ varies wildly) to accept everything happening after SY comes to that world without a proper explanation. But again, LQG thinks is amnesia and accepts the new SQQ just fine in sv so…

anyways, if you are here thanks for reading my thoughts rant on LiuShen characterization <3

[nhularin]

ENOUGH FOR YOU

PAIRING popular bf! sunghoon x f!reader GENRE angst no comfort, childhood friends to lovers to exes, highschool AU WARNING wonyoung hating sunghoon XTRA not as angsty as my other drabbles but..., not proofread, probably some grammar mistakes WC 1.3k series masterlist

june 2nd, 2002

"stop moping around and eat your sandwich"

wonyoung snickered, mac and cheese muffling her voice as your head laid restlessly on the metal ( probably dirty and oily) cafeteria table.

"like seriously, its been five days since he last messaged you. i always knew he was a jerk, pretty privilege is real! hes nothing but a ken doll with the way his words are filled with nonsense"

"leave him alone" you groaned, head still down, you could practically feel the acne screaming from underneath your skin "hes a nice guy, probably just busy"

"busy my ass, dont you see the way he literally follows that loser group like an overgrown chihuahua? if he can make time to buy booze for a bunch of 17 year olds then he can for sure make time for his amazing, smart and pretty girlfriend" wonyoung rolled her eyes as she stuffed bland coleslaw in her mouth

you looked up, dark bags adoring your face, you had been in a relationship with sunghoon since your freshman year. as children, you both had been inseparable ever since you moved to salt lake city, your bond growing stronger with each passing year. but now, as juniors, things felt different. he had recently joined the popular crowd, the same crowd you both used to talk shit about in between classes, and friday nights had become synonymous with parties and new faces.

tried so hard to be everything that you liked

the change had been gradual at first, but you couldn't help but notice how sunghoon had become the center of attention, attracting the gazes of both girls and sweaty boys alike. his charismatic smile and magnetic personality drew people towards him like moths to a flame, leaving you feeling like a mere extra and shadow in his presence.

but it was the encounters with the prettier, more popular girls that cut you to the core. you couldn't help but compare yourself to them, questioning if you were really deserving for sunghoon. the doubts grew louder with each unanswered message, as sunghoon seemed to drift further away.

you only sighed

"lets get this over with. you, pretty girl, find your ogre looking piece of shit of a boyfriend and im gonna stay at the entrance" wonyoung ordered sternly, her voice growing darker as she described your boyfriend

unable to bear the weight of uncertainty any longer and seeing you drown in the growing pool of self pity, wonyoung suggested going to the party where sunghoon tweeted where he was going to be at. maybe seeing him in person would provide some clarity. and so, you found yourself at the heart of the celebration, searching for a glimpse of the person who held your heart.

the night was filled with laughter and music as you stood in the midst of the crowded party. but amidst the lively atmosphere, a heavy sense of unease settled in your heart. you couldn't help but feel like a walking shell of sadness with the absence and lack of your boyfriend's warmth, your messages left unanswered for days dont make your overthinking self feel better either. the persistent doubt gnawed like an aggressive parasite in your mind, making you question if you were truly enough for him.

you found someone more exciting the next second, you were gone

it didn't take long for your eyes to land on him. sunghoon stood near the punch bowl, a radiant smile on his face as he engaged in a conversation with the head cheerleader joonhee. your heart sank at the sight, your fears of being replaceable seemingly coming true, his laughter and the way he touched her arm with familiarity stung deeply in your soul.

"1,2,3 breathe, 1,2,3 breathe" you whispered shakingly to yourself with closed eyes, trying to calm the storm inside of you

overwhelmed by heartache, you couldn't stand to witness any more. and so, running through the backdoor and through drunk teenagers, your breath came in ragged gasps as tears welled up slowly, refusing to fall, just like your pride. you couldn't bear to be in that suffocating environment any longer. the cool night air embraced you as you reached your car, parked in lee heeseungs empty suburb's parking lot.

as you sat in the car, your emotions overflowed, tears still threatened to fall freely as your soul filled with rage and betrayal. it was in that moment, surrounded by darkness and engulfed by doubt, that your vulnerability took hold. the floodgates of your emotions burst open, and a stream of tears cascaded down your cheeks. each tear held your deepest fears and insecurities, each sob a cry for validation and reassurance.

and you left me there cryin', wonderin' what I did wrong

"fucking shit" you sighed as incoming calls of wonyoung flooded your notifications. "should've listened to her, huh?" humorless laughter echoed in your crammy dark dimmed toyota. the silence was unbearable, fuelling the whispers in your head that you were not enough and you havent been good enough for him for a while. that you had lost sunghoon to someone who was prettier, much more interesting than you. but deep down, a glimmer of strength began to flicker within you

"why wasn't I enough?" you whispered, the words escaping your lips like a desperate plea. in the depths of your pathetic despair, you couldn't comprehend how you had fallen short, how you had failed to capture sunghoons attention and affection.

the car's small interior offered a temporary solace, shielding you from the actions of the world outside. the emptiness of the parking lot mirrored the emptiness you felt within, making the pain that coursed through your veins grow stronger. you gripped the steering wheel, your knuckles turning white as you tried to steady your trembling body (and if you were your friend, how you were going to run over your boyfriend)

but as the minutes ticked by, you began to actually listen to the daily "you're enough, you're enough. you deserve all the love and happiness in the world, from someone much better" mantra of your friend, realizing that your worth did not hinge on Sunghoon's approval.

you were more than just a measure of your relationship. you were a person with dreams, aspirations, and a heart that deserved to be cherished, regardless of whether it was by sunghoon or someone else.

with each tear that fell, a flicker of resilience ignited within you. screw him, you refused to let your doubts created by him define you. you refused to believe that you were not enough. slowly, you wiped away the tears, your reflection in the rearview mirror revealing tired and empty eyes

Taking a deep breath, you whispered to yourself, "I am enough, i am enough, i am enough. I am deserving of love and happiness." the words hung in the air, the words a combat fighting the doubts that had plagued your mind.

Don't you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing?

"and i deserve if from someone who values me" your voice cracked, dried tears threatening to fall again

as you started the car, the engine's purr resonated with newfound determination. you drove away from the empty parking lot, leaving behind the doubts and heartache that had consumed you. and as you navigated the darkened streets, a flicker of hope emerged, lighting your path towards self-discovery (having a midlife crisis at the ripe age of seventeen is normal, right?) and a love that would celebrate your true worth.

'Cause someday I'll be everything to somebody else

incoming messages!

wony (12 new messages, 3 unanswered calls)

hoonie <333 (3 new messages) OPEN

hoonie <333: i saw you at heeseungs

hoonie <333: its not what it looked like, yn

hoonie <333: you know i only love you

are you sure you want to block 'hoonie <333'?

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