#like the way i’m just so deeply deeply afraid of conflict that like. can’t even say anything without feeling immense fear and shame

[salstini]

sigh just feel like a broken human being, like i’m missing a big chunk of self-confidence that most people seem to have

[mykoreanlove]

sexy brain wasn’t having it

3.25 am.

Once again Namjoon lay awake at night, anticipating the next disaster. His thoughts were racing, fueling the anxiety that was rooted deep in his heart.

„Joon“, you mumbled sleepily as you twisted in his arms.

You calling him caught him by surprise, a welcomed yet unnecessary surprise.

„Why are you awake, love?“, he whispered in his deep raspy voice.

You chuckled as you patted his buff chest. „Well Sherlock, my precious darling is awake so I can’t sleep either.“

Namjoon smiled widely as he placed a sweet kiss on your forehead.

„Sorry.“

„Is something on your mind?“

He sighed, not really knowing how to articulate his thoughts.

„Do you remember when I told you about my ex? The one that cheated on me?“

You nodded silently.

„Do you also remember the girl that shot daggers at you when I took you out to dinner two days ago?“

„The one with the crazy eyes?“

A sad laugh escaped his lips. „Yeah. Actually, same person.“

„No way“, you gasped, suddenly fully awake. „Why didn’t you tell me?“

„Honestly? She did some crazy things back then so I just wanted to forget her. I don’t want you to be near her. Ever.“

You tightened your grip around your boyfriend, deeply touched by his concern for you.

„You really care about me, huh?“

„Slightly“, he bickered back, making the both of you laugh.

„Are you afraid that she’s gonna do something to us?“

Namjoon closed his eyes and sighed deeply. „I expect her to.“

You drew circles on his chest, hoping this would make him calm down and drift off to sleep. It seemed like it worked, until it didn’t.

Frantic sounds alerted you both, someone was ringing the bell like crazy.

„Namjoon. Namjoon!! Open up, please.“

Her whines were slurred and chaotic. You felt him tense under your touch, unsure what to do.

„Just ignore her, Joonie. I’m sure she’s gonna leave in a minute.“

„Joon!! God damn it, Joon!!! Open the fucking door!“

Namjoon debated if he should get up, but he also feared hurting you. Suddenly, the door flung open revealing a very bad tempered Jungkook.

„Hyung, please. Go talk to her. I can’t sleep and I can’t keep listening to her begging for you. I beg you talk to that lunatic.“

You squeezed Namjoon‘s hand, encouraging him to go.

„I love you“, he whispered in your ear.

„I know“, you stuck out your tongue.

„Namjoon, fucking rap monster open this door no-„

Namjoon‘s ex swallowed her tongue as she actually succeeded with her plan - her ex was standing before her, ready to listen to her tantrum.

„Joon“, she tried hugging him but he pushed her away.

„You know what time it is?“

She nodded her head, slightly ashamed. „Joon, I am sorry but I need to talk to you. Breaking up was the worst idea we ever had.“

He rolled his eyes at her, trying to stay calm.

„Cheating on me was even dumber if you ask me.“

„I never“, she tried to defend herself but bit her tongue as she saw the hurt in his eyes.

„I’m sorry. What I did was wrong. It’s just, I couldn’t handle our love back then. You’re such a grown up and I.. I am a mess.“

Flashbacks of all the tantrums she created flashed his mind. She always argued with him, accusing him of the most disrespectful shit. Looking back he could simply laugh about this, wondering how the hell he kept up with her frantics for so long. He didn’t care about the past, nor her anymore. He only cared about you.

„I call you a cab“, he stated sternly.

„NO!“

Namjoon sighed in annoyance.

„What do you want from me? Why are you here? Do you honestly think I’d take you back? After all you put me through?“

„Why not? Because of that bitch?“, she spat out.

His nostrils flared up instantly. Namjoon would never resolve a conflict with violence, especially not with a female. He’d rather contort to hurting one emotionally.

„I don’t want you to talk about my girlfriend like that. Ever again. Understood?“

„That should be me! I’m supposed to be your girl, Joon. Don’t you remember how great we were?“

„Nah“, he replied dryly.

His ex scoffed, too many blows to her ego. „Oh please, I’ve seen her. Since when do you date someone so basic? She’s half of me anyways.“

Namjoon took out his phone and ordered a cab, making an end to this nonsense.

„What are you doing? Joon, listen to me! She’s not the one for you, can’t you see?“

He raised his left brow, holding back what he truly felt.

„She’s average. Basic. Boring. I think you should dump her. I think you should get back together with me. I think you and I should become Korea‘s hottest couple and live a beautiful life together. I think I am the love of your life!“

A real, heartfelt laugh left his lips. His ex‘ eyes widened in expectation, anticipating her victory over you.

Namjoon however disagreed.

„Thank you for telling me what you think. I however, don’t think about you. At all.“

He turned around and went inside, hoping to never end up in a situation like that ever again.

[justarandomfan5554]

New Transformers OC: Wingstar!

Name: Wingstar

Continuity: Aligned (design based off Transformers: Prime)

Gender: Female (She/Her)

Alignment: Decepticons (changes to Autobots later during the war)

Team: The main Decepticon cast of TFPrime (later switched to Team Prime/Team Bee sometime during S2-S3 of Prime)

Alternate Mode: F-16 Fighting Falcon (formerly Cybertronian Fighter Jet (WFC) and layer Cybertronian Fighter Jet (RID15))

Personality:

Many Decepticons don’t even know why Wingstar is in their ranks, even her fellow Seekers, thinks she’s a liability. Mostly because she mostly cowers and runs away instead of actually fighting on the front lines like the rest of her Decepticons, which gains the ire of many of them.

Despite her cowardly, shy and often meek demeanor, Wingstar is endlessly kind and compassionate and often spares her enemies, which is rare for other Decepticons, but not impossible. Some people think she would be a perfect fit for the Autobots, she refuses to join them for two reasons. One, she refuses to leave the Decepticons for later reasons and Two, she is afraid of the Autobots since she heard bad things about them from the other 'Cons.

But secretly, Wingstar actually has doubts about the Decepticon cause and secretly hates how they have gotten so far from their original ideals of peace and equality for all Cybertronians, and the only reasons she stays with them is because Megatron, Starscream and the other 'Cons convince her that the Decepticons are the only way she will have a true purpose in life.

But don’t worry, she defects later on.

Hobbies: Flying, being in jet mode, being away from conflict, running away, hiding in bushes, talking with Breakdown, Knock Out Dreadwing, just having a peaceful time in general.

Relationships (mostly the Con big 4 cuz I’m lazy):

Megatron (Respect/Neutral/Afraid of): Wingstar has a… special relationship with Megatron to say the least, she respects him, since he… well, fought for equal rights for all Cybertronians, but she also fears him, for… also obvious reasons. But despite this, Wingstar hopes that Megatron could recover from his madness and obsession with Dark Energon and hopes he would become a better person someday, which happens! Kinda…

Starscream (Respect/Tension/Afraid of):

Wingstar also has a respect for Starscream, since he is a well regarded and respected member of the Decepticon Battle Fleet and he’s basically the reason why she joined the cause in the first place, but she also has a bit of a negative relationship with him for… obvious reasons.

Wingstar basically… went through a whole lot of abuse while under Starscream, he would yell at her, punch at her, kick at her, scream at her and so much more. The sheer extent of the abuse was too much for Wingstar and left her deeply scared and traumatized from Starscream, and Starscream's about is the main reason why she left the Decepticons later during the war.

Unlike Megatron, she doesn’t hope Screamer becomes a better person, because she has suffered under his abuse and his and actions outweigh the good in her opinion.

Soundwave (Neutral/Slight Tension/Slight afraid of):

Wingstar doesn’t interact with Soundwave that much since they don’t work together that much, but when she does get to work with him, she can’t help but feel a sense of unease and tension around Soundwave, which is honestly kinda justified, considering how silent and deadly he is.

Wingstar also slightly hates Soundwave for blindly following Megatron no matter because he believes tha Megatron can do no wrong, and wishes Soundwave could see Megatron is a flawed individual and NOT perfect like he believes he is.

Shockwave (Tension/Rivalry):

Wingstar barely sees Shockwave around since he stayed on Cybertron while Wingstar went to Earth, but long story short, Wingstar hates Shockwave, not as much as Screamer, but she still hates him a LOT.

She mostly hates him because of how he commits brutal and disgusting experiment and how so… uncaring he is towards them and isn’t afraid to call out Shockwave on his actions, which leaves him deeply offended.

The only reason why Shockwave is the only one of the big 4 she doesn’t fear is because she doesn’t directly work under her unlike Megs and Screamer, and doesn’t seem him as often as much as Soundwave, so she has less time to see how brutal he is.

Voice Claim: Lizzie Freeman, Pomni from The Amazing Digital Circus

So, this my Transformers OC! What do you guys think?

[faretheeoscar]

PROMISE ME MIGUEL…

*Warnings this is long just for being an explanation to my fan art drawing for Non Violent Communication fic of @greensagephase *

Apologies for any mistakes I might have made,I wrote this on a plane hehehe

So a couple of days ago I had this dream about Peter and Miguel meeting each other, keeping the to the canon of NVC in mind that Peter is gone (my heart aches for Peter and I’m having a full brainrot rn)

I can’t remember the full details about it so I’m gonna improvise a bit, but in general this is how it went. (in general the premise was that Miguel got to talk to Peter, it was in a dream, the same dreams he has with his family when Gabriel, his mom or Gaby come to visit him in his dreams.)

Cue the dream and the brain rot!

——————

Miguel have been tossing around all night, he have been getting conflicted about his feelings about you, how they started to develop which each passing day, at the beginning he was reluctant to even acknowledge you as his friend cause he was afraid of loosing you, but then everything changed, it’s been 2 wonderful years of what he thinks it’s the most amazing friendship of his life, there’s no one like you, he feels comfort around you, something he had only had with his family, and nowadays it’s not an unfamiliar feeling for him to consider you as the closest person he has in his life.

The thing is that recently his thoughts have been diverted in another direction, you both have been in certain situations that made his heart beat faster than normal, he has been noticing your smile, the way your eyes sparkle every time you look up at him, the way you do a little scrunch on your nose when you think and stick out the tip of your tongue when you are concentrating, his thoughts have led him to think to you in other ways more than a friendship, made him crave to be closer to you, to be more…

But Miguel is conflicted, he doesn’t want to risk the only thing that is a constant in his life, specially not knowing if you are maybe feeling the same thing that he is feeling, he knows something in the air has changed, he can sense it, but still he doesn’t want to put anything in line, that’s why Miguel has been distancing himself from you for a little, he has stopped pairing you up with him on the team missions cause he gets nervous that he’ll screw up and say something he wouldn’t, hell today he was so nervous to be around you that he has cancelled his Saturday dinner with you, and he’s not only nervous about how you might feel about him, there’s other thing that bothers him deeply… and it’s your past, he knows you have had your own hard journey to heal, and he has helped you in what he can first, as a boss, then as a friend and now… he wants to help you with your heart, the thing is that, he has never ever wanted to insult Peter’s memory, and that’s what scares him the most about this situation, that’s why he has gotten in an anxious state when he is trying to rest, he tosses and turns on his bed, he has been like this for two weeks now, not even being able to sleep with your hoodie cause it causes him an amount of fear and guilt that he doesn’t know where it comes from, maybe it’s also the same insecurities he has regarding about thinking… no, not thinking, wanting to be in a relationship again.

Miguel is in front of his monitors this being another night when he tries to get these thoughts away from his head distracting himself with job, but tonight his head is pumping, he hears a slight beep on his ears, the sleep depravation is getting to him, he even feels that he eventually will pass out with exhaustion, a thing that doesn’t take long to happen as he suddenly feels his knees weakening, his brain quickly responds to it in a flight or fight situation and he hangs on to the closest surface attempting not to fall, but suddenly everything goes black for him.

Miguel opens his eyes and blinks but he’s not in his lab, somehow he’s now at your house, spread out on the couch, his head doesn’t still hurts and he feels heavy, there’s a soft hum on the living room, billie holiday plays in a very soft volume, the scratch of the record it’s soothing and helps him with the head ache, he feels his heart warming at the thought of being at your place again, but as he regains his senses he feels the couch, it isn’t the same couch that is now at your apartment, it’s the old one…

Miguel looks at the soft old fabric and touches it with his fingertips wondering what the old couch is doing there, he tries to sit down on the couch and he notices your apartment is also on the same configuration you used to have it, the old bookshelves are there, almost breaking by the weight of the books in them, your old pictures and not the new ones… something weird is happening, this moments are when he curses about not having a spider sense to sense, not knowing if he’s in imminent danger or to be able to read the room he’s in, all his worries get answered when a soft masculine voice comes from behind him.

“Oh hey there, you’re finally awake!” Peter says as he looks at him smiling leaning on the pilar next to the kitchen.

That’s the answer, he’s dreaming.

It’s a very vivid dream and he starts to be a bit insecure that something might happened to him just like when he saw his family, but this couldn’t be like that, cause why on earth would he be seeing Peter on his dream.

“Relax Miguel, you’re safe, you just passed from exhaustion, but you’re fine” Peter chuckles as he offers him some coffee and sits down next to him in the couch maintaining a safe distance.

“You…know me?” Miguel’s eyebrows furrows as he looks at Peter, he’s still not sure how he is in his dream or why does Peter knows him if it’s really a sort of apparition like the one he saw of his family.

“Of course I know you Miguel, you might think I don’t know you, but you’ll be surprised of how much I actually know about you” Peter chuckles and relaxes on the couch as he says that, as if he was talking to an old friend.

Miguel’s mind starts working a million miles per hour, if this is really Peter, if somehow he is really talking to him those that means that, have you really been talking about him to Peter? Of course maybe he could see you as he took care of you, just like his family did for him, just like Gabriel, his mom and Gabriela were in his dreams, perhaps he was in your dreams too. Miguel was pretty sure Peter was always looking out for you.

“Really?”

Peter nods his head and smiles softly at him.

“Yeah, you see, I look down to her, I protect her from here, take this as my own HQ and my monitors are that old tv over there” Peter jokes as he motions at the exact copy of his old apartment he shared with you.

“No, but in all seriousness, she has told me everything about you, she always talks to me when she gets the chance, when she leaves flowers at the cemetery, when she feels alone, when she dances in the living room…” Peter can’t help but chuckle as a wide and tender smile appears on his face, he of course has never stopped loving you, you were… are his everything and will always be,before he gets distracted more by the thought of you he shakes his head and continues talking to Miguel, after all he is here with him for something important.

“She always talks to me about your friendship with her, about everything you do together from the small little things like the morning coffees, to the big things like Christmas or new years celebrations, your missions, she is always so happy when she talks about you…”

Peter gives Miguel a knowing look that makes Miguel a bit uncomfortable for a second, it’s not his plan to intimidate him or anything, but he can’t help his playful nature.

“She has told me about your dinner weekly traditions, about the food you prepare for each other, the evenings talking and listening to records while enjoying cafe de olla and pan dulce”

This makes Miguel think, the fact that you talked to Peter about everything you two always do, from biggest things like the missions to the smallest things like your traditions of cafe de olla and pan de dulce shouldn’t really surprise him, cause he also tells his family all about them, when he speaks to Gabriel before going to sleep or when his mind drifts and he pictures another reality with his family there, where you are in there too, when he pictures a big family dinner and you two talking about the smallest of things as everybody gathers on the table to eat; in his fantasies he talks to Gabriela about the music and movies you show him from your universe, he talks to his mom about the recipes you share together, and lately he confides to Gabriel about his confusing feelings towards you. Miguel knows the sentiment of speaking to his loved ones about the important things in life even when they are not there anymore, so that makes him sure that you talk to Peter like he talks to his family, but the fact that you eagerly talk about him with Peter, brings a small blush to his cheeks, that he hides drinking some of the coffee Peter offered him earlier.

“I hope you don’t mind that I seem to know a lot about you” Peter smiles softly at Miguel and he shakes his head giving him a soft smile in return.

“Of course not Peter, and same goes to you, that I do hope you don’t mind I also know a lot of things about you either”

Miguel starts thinking about all the times you have shared information with him about Peter, when you have shared memories of your time with him while he was still with you.

Peter nods at him,.”It’s alright” he looks at Miguel as he sees that his mind goes somewhere else, he’s worried about being there with him alone, he knows why Miguel is here with him, he knows the purpose of his brief visit, Miguel is scared of feeling, scared of opening himself to love again, slowly lifting his walls up again, cause even though he has a lot of fears mainly about how you feel and how he doesn’t want to compete with your memory of Peter, what Miguel fears the most is that he doesn’t think he might be good enough for you, that he might be better keeping a distance between the two of you again, building up his walls regarding physical touch that he let slowly crumbled with every spark of electricity and comfort he felt when he got to touch your hand or feel the warmth of your embrace, even though you have showed him and told him that he’s everything and more you could ask to be better, to be happy, he doesn’t think he’s good enough even as a friend, specially cause of his latest actions on keeping distance from you.

“Listen, we are both here to talk about something important, I know how you feel, I know what conflicts your mind and let me tell you, despite what you think of yourself…You’re a good man Miguel”

Peter puts his hand on Miguel’s shoulder and let’s it stay there, his touch only wanting to give Miguel comfort letting him know that is was a valid thing to feel, he sometimes felt when he was alive that maybe he wasn’t enough, but that was a thing that you always reminded him an absurd concept, you always told him, that it was enough for you two to be together, that what you only needed for happiness was to see him smile, same thought that always came to him, your smile, your happiness was the most important thing in the world for him.

“I couldn’t be happier with what you have done for her, how you have help her get through, how you changed her world upside down when you let her in the Spiderverse, im happy that you care for her, that you protect her and even more happier because she’s happy when she’s with you, she’s free, she has a confident, she has a friend to rely on, Im happy Miguel by the fact that she chose you…”

Miguel looked at Peter with big wide eyes, he couldn’t believe how kind he was being with him, but he couldn’t believe either that he told him that you chose him.

“What do you mean?” Miguel asks Peter hesitantly, and it only makes Peter laugh.

“Come on man, don’t tell me you haven’t noticed that she also fell over heels for you,like you did for her”

Peter pats his palm again on Miguel’s shoulder in a friendly way, to try to ease his nerves when he sees him getting tense, letting him know with that gesture that it was totally okay with him.

“The other day… she prayed… she was so confused about everything she was feeling and she reached out to me, at first she was scared when she realised what she felt about you, she was unsure about telling me, she felt a lot of guilt, she… well she prayed for hours, prayed for my forgiveness cause her heart aches to move on, although her head keeps on telling her it’s wrong, but her heart wants to open, wants to get a second chance to love, and she wants you Miguel, she wants to love you”

That statement gives Peter a small heart ache, not by the fact that you fell for someone else, cause he never wanted that, it was the last thing he thought about when it came to you, he knew your heart, how it could love so much and how you can be passionate, caring, sincere, your love is the purest thing he has ever felt and he’s happy that Miguel is probably going to experience it if you two stop playing and let yourselves feel, and that’s what makes his heart ache, the fact that you aren’t letting yourself feel again, that you think you need to ask for his forgiveness, it’s what troubles him, and that’s why he is also with Miguel right now, cause he knows that if he pushes him into the right direction and you see the man that is in front of you and how he cares for you that you’ll understand that is okay to love again.

“All of this talk Miguel, its for me to tell you that, I trust you, I’ve seen how you’ve helped her through the good and the bad, I’ve seen your relationship mix, morph and transform, how you both changed, and how you get the best out of each other” Peter keeps smiling softly at him, getting an immense amount of proud when he thinks how you have changed with Miguel’s help.

“Miguel I want to ask you a favour… remind her? Remind her it’s okay to love, remind her how it feels, how to open her heart to love again, stop dreading what you feel for each other and try”

“I don’t want you to feel guilty about insulting my memory, or to think you’re taking my place, it’s really not the case, I have never want anything more than to see her happy, to see her smile and finally move on, I trust her heart with you, and that’s why I need you to make me the promise to try, to let her know that feeling butterflies in her stomach again is valid, to feel the illusion of love and that her heart is gonna be safe”

Miguel smiles kindly at Peter and nods his head, there’s been a weight lifted up his shoulders, he was so unsure of letting out his feelings for you because he feared to insult Peter’s memory, but now that he got his reassurance from the man himself, he could even start to feel butterflies in his stomach as Peter mentioned them, a small blush creeped towards his cheeks when he basically got Peter’s blessing to be with you.

“I promise I’ll take care of her Peter, take care of her heart”

That’s a promise that Miguel makes to Peter with all his heart, a sentence that he was afraid of saying out loud before, a statement he takes pride in now and wants to fulfil.

“I know you will…”

Peter gets interrupted by a soft voice, your voice calling for him, he can clearly hear it, as he looks around your living room.

“Seems like it’s time for me to go, cause your lady awaits” Peter smiles at the sound of your voice, a slight tone of sadness in his voice as he wishes he could go back like Miguel is going to be doing in a few moments.

“It was very nice to finally get to talk to you Miguel, I admire everything you do” Peter offers his hand to Miguel and shakes it gets up from the couch walking towards the bedroom of the apartment living Miguel alone but before he disappears he looks back at Miguel and adds something else.

“You both have a lot of things coming up in your future, I can’t wait to see you…happy. Now, go get her”

————-

When he opens his eyes again, he’s back in the lab, his head stopped buzzing but his eyes take time to get adjusted to the lights as he blinks.He’s on the floor and a soft warm hand is holding his face, as you cradle his head on your lap trying to wake him up, your eyebrows furrowed and a concerned look in your eyes.

“Miguel, Miguel! Are you okay?” You sigh at the sign of him waking up, your nose scrunches and you try to get his attention to you. “Hey, Miguel, look at me, everything is fine…”

—————

And… scene! Hahaha

In my dream I just remember him explaining to me that he passed out from exhaustion and then everything got blurry as everything led somehow to a romantic confession and me finally getting to kiss him hehehe. 🙈🙈🙈

But yeah, how does this turned into me writing almost 3k words?! idk,my mind went wild, guess this is what happens when the brainrot goes hard.

Anyways Alondra @greensagephase this is just my AU, what happened in my dream, not pressuring or anything with his sort of spin off story of mine lol, hope you enjoy what my brain cooked about Pete and Miguel, but this is all thanks to you and your writing that I got to imagine this scenario 🫶🏼

Ps. I’m including as a bonus the silly expressions I was trying to do of Peter that led me to dream about this and then fully sketch him with Miguel.

[whereianonymouslypostfics]

Training

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x reader

Word count: 0.6k

Summary: You and Wanda have a disagreement 

A/N: Some fun fluff. If I feel like it, I might write a part two 👀 Just a short little blurb. I probably only have about 10 more drabbles to post before I’m finished. Life is getting busy. 

Warnings: Fluff.

“No. Go change right now.”

Wanda shoots you a surprised look that quickly turns offended as she puts her hands on her hips and stares you down. You don’t back down because you honestly don’t think you’ll be able to train with Wanda like this, and you really needed to blow off some steam. You were getting a lot of shit clients at work that refused to listen to you and it was driving you up the wall. You of course couldn’t say anything at work without seeming unprofessional, so instead you were going to use your bimonthly training session with your wife to work through it.

At least that had been the plan until now.

“Excuse me?”

You realize that you’ve failed to communicate effectively and your wife was glaring at you for it. Although you almost wish she thought you were ordering her to change because her outfit was too revealing. It wasn’t something you’d done except once, and that was a special, private circumstance.

You shake your head as you apologize but look to Wanda with a serious expression to let her know you’re not kidding.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. Please go change right now. I can’t train with you looking like that.”

Wanda’s frown stays in place as she tries to figure out what your problem is. You and your wife are in a private room to work out so it can’t be that you don’t want other people to see her like this. She’s not even wearing overly revealing clothes. She has leggings on and a sports bra, similar to you, but apparently that’s unacceptable.

“What does that even mean?”

Wanda’s getting impatient and she starts to put on her gloves as she waits for you to get to the point. She’s looking forward to this despite not having any frustrations to work out. It had been too long since the two of you had been alone together without having to worry about work, the pets, or anything really. You deserved to have some time to yourselves.

You sigh in defeat before you put on your gloves as well. You have a feeling you won’t be winning this one and you’re just going to have to accept that.

“It means you look really fucking attractive right now, and I have zero motivation to fight you. Get you on the ground beneath me sure, but fight, not really?”

Your wife rolls her eyes so hard you’re afraid they might get stuck before she shakes her head with a sigh. She mutters ‘you’re ridiculous’ under her breath before sparing a glance at her outfit, and then yours.

“Like you look any different. If you don’t want to train and would rather do something else, now’s the time to tell me.”

You have never felt so conflicted in your life, and you frown deeply as you consider your options. You finally settle on training now and doing the other stuff later. As long as you’re not too tired and sore. Though honestly it would take a lot to stop you from having your wife later.

“Alright, fine. Let’s do this, and then we’ll do that.”

Wanda just laughs before walking toward you in the ring and making sure you have your gloves on. You smile at her as she reaches out for your hands to pull you closer. She kisses you before pushing you away and shooting you a questioning look.

“Ready?”

You sigh dramatically before rolling your shoulders with a smile. You nod as you hold up your hands and wave her towards you in a purposely condescending way.

“Bring it on, babe.”

To be continued...?

Masterlist

[arliedraws]

Hi! I hope you don’t mind me sending you this ask, I saw you answered some others and there is something that I wonder about but have never really seen anyone talk about?

There’s this theory that the Dursleys come off as worse than they actually are because they have to take Harry and he’s a horcrux, and we see with the locket that horcruxes can bring out the worst in the people carrying it. This lessens immediately when it’s taken off, even if it’s still close, so it’s probably a thing of possessing it or having responsibility for it.

This has also been brought up in regards to Kreacher, who’s also not too pleasant when we meet him, but then again, he also sort of carries responsibility for the horcrux at that time, considering Regulus ordered him to destroy it.

But the horcrux is in Grimmauld Place all that time, and technically, Sirius owns it, and is probably the one who spends the most time in its vicinity (except for maybe Kreacher) because he can’t leave the house. This period is also the period we (as readers) see Sirius at his worst.

Of course there is more than enough reason and then some for Sirius to get depressed in that place/time, but I thought it was really interesting because fans give some leniency to the Dursleys and Kreacher for their behaviour with the theory that it was influenced by the Horcrux, but that same leniency is not extended towards Sirius.

So, I’m personally not sure if I think being the owner of and close to a horcrux (and perhaps even two when Harry’s there as well; although he of course doesn’t ‘possess’ Harry or have (legal) responsibility for him at that moment unlike the Dursleys, and we never see a negative effect on Ron, Hermione or any of the Weasleys due to contact with Harry either) really made things worse for Sirius seeing as they were bad enough by themselves, but I was wondering what you thought? Do you think Kreacher/the Dursleys are affected by their respective horcrux, and do you think Sirius could be as well. And if yes, do you think there would be a negative effect if in theory Sirius got custody over Harry instead of the Dursleys?

Sorry, this turned out a bit longer than anticipated!

Always bother me with this stuff! Haha, I love thinking about theories.

I’ve heard this theory before, but I’m afraid I don’t find it particularly interesting. This theory does not illuminate the most salient themes of the series nor does it explain characterization in a compelling way. The truth is, Petunia was always a judgmental, selfish person and she married a judgmental, selfish person. The Dursleys were always terrible! And like you said, Harry’s other friends don’t seem to have anything but normal conflicts with Harry. Fans want to forgive people for their terrible actions (and not Sirius? why do people hate him?)—but my question is: why?

Characters, in general, need to atone for actions if they are to be “redeemed” (which is…not even necessary most of the time, tbh). Giving them an out by saying “Ah well, they can’t be blamed—they were under the influence of Dark Magic!” is so boring. What are we learning as an reader? What is the message here? I don’t want characters to be saved—I want them to save themselves! It’s so much more compelling and satisfying.

If Kreacher was under any influence, it was the pure-blood supremacy rhetoric of the Black family. He was devoted to Mrs. Black—he parroted her beliefs and values, and it was deeply offensive to him that Sirius would insult the family like he did. The Dursleys, likewise, are just unpleasant, bigoted people. No, I think the only way for the Horcrux to have an effect is to have physical contact—this is demonstrated when Hermione pleads with Ron to take off the locket, and when Harry expresses his relief when he takes it off and feels normal again.

Now, I’ll tell you what might be interesting (devastating) would be to see Sirius wearing the locket in DH because he insists on taking the burden himself instead of the kids. Maybe Harry would argue, but the longer Sirius has it on, the more he sinks into this sort of toxic “I must sacrifice myself you dumb child” sort of thinking. I’d be interested to see how it would really bring out the absolute worst in him because I think if he were REALLY under the influence of a Horcrux, he could be quite cruel if he weren’t careful. Granted, I think Sirius is very aware of his own actions, so maybe he would keep those cruel thoughts to himself, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t have them.

Ooooh, someone write a fic now where Sirius insists on carrying the locket and really has to fight off the darkness…

Anyway, thank you for the ask!

[sizzlingstarlightsky]

Hi again! 

Now that we’ve kicked things off, I’d love to know more about what makes your heart flutter when it comes to Eris and Azriel! 😍 How do you like them to be portrayed? Are you a fan of softer Azriel or more morally grey Eris? Do you prefer them confident, vulnerable, or somewhere in between?

And what kind of relationship dynamic really does it for you—slow burn, enemies to lovers, established relationship, rivals? I’m so curious to hear about your favorite headcanons and moments you can't get enough of!

Also, are there any Azris fics you adore or keep coming back to? Whether it’s the angst, fluff, or perfectly written tension, I’d love to hear all about what makes them your OTP goals.

Can’t wait to dive into what you love most about these two!

-🎅

Dear Santa ✨️🎅🌲

There's these two males, right?

🖤One dark and mysterious. Takes out his rage and morally greyness (phone wanted to autocorrect to gayness 🤭) on those he tortures. Don't even get me started on how he unleashes that with this second male.... that's a whole different point I'll ramble about later.

Think Dexter for how he morally balances the primal urge to kill. He developed a code. Sometimes he breaks and that code gets blurred, but he finds a way to course correct.

He comes across intimidating and scary but he's just a baby. He craves love and true acceptance above all else. To feel seen.

He's confident in his looks. I don't think he's super super insecure about his scars, I think it's more so an internal battle, so he avoids any and all opportunities to communicate about himself. I also don't see him with a fear of fire. Maybe at some point, but baby healed in that aspect, having to be in battle and by fireplaces. It's kinda like he wields black flames anyway, so... 😶‍🌫️

He's in love with this other male but has never been able to admit that to himself. Yes, there's shit that happened with Mor 👀, but maybe he's envious. Envy for what he sees of Eris' masked life and is conflicted. He may be a spymaster, but he missed all the obvious signs. It hits deep insecurities within him.

❤️‍🔥SPEAKING OF THIS OTHER MALE 🫠

I want to get tangled in his hair.

He is flames incarnate. Very quick to ignite anyone that harms those he loves. Determined to not be remembered like his father. Gets too into the political game, but is fucking good at it. It is his game.

But he deeply cares for the people, the land, and the life of Autumn. He's just a little boy playing in piles of leaves that had to grow up way too fast.

He knows he's beautiful and uses that in his games. I saw someone post a bit ago (I can't remember who and I can't find it im sorry😭) that as a kid, Eris wanted Az to like him. He looked up to him as younger kids do. But then- 👀, and maybe a couple fumbles here and there. Now they fight as longing foreplay.

It's suspicious, it's odd, it's stalkery. Eris mentions Az whenever he can. Az sulks around the shadows of Autumn trying to find valid reasons not to like Eris. Eris knows he's there.

He likes playing with his food.

They're the ultimate slow burn enemies to lovers. Then they try to keep it a secret, but someone always finds out those kinds of things. Probably Lucien tbh. Major little brother energy with that little shit.

I'm not anti anyone but some IC criticism is good for the soul.

Santa, I'm afraid I've lost the plot,

Hopefully you get the vibes 😅🌲🍪🥛

sss

[ryuichirou]

sebemal headcanons? if you haven't talked about them already

I can’t believe I haven’t talked about them yet?? We ship them so much??

Thank you for your patience, Anon, these two took a while for me to get to. I also feel like there are a lot of ideas for them that I would rather draw than write, but then again, I say that about almost any ship lol

These ended up being mostly at least slightly horny, but hey, I guess that’s Sebek for you.

Sebek himself is conflicted about his feelings towards Malleus. Respect and absolute adoration he understands, these are correct and fair and expected, he thinks. However, it feels somewhat wrong to have these animalistic urges towards his precious Malleus-sama. But at the same time, Sebek feels ashamed of even thinking that there could be anything wrong in having strong feelings towards such Absolute Excellency. He is very horny and confused is what I’m saying.

Sebek is absolutely certain that his sexual attraction towards Malleus is very subtle and not noticeable at all. This isn’t true. Absolutely everyone knows about it, they just really don’t want to address it. It’s kind of a hard thing to miss, to be honest…

Malleus is also obviously aware of Sebek’s feelings, but he doesn’t think much of it. He is patronizing, yet surprisingly permissive when it comes to him. Sometimes Sebek is too much, of course, and Malleus avoids him when he gets too annoying, but in general, he finds the way he stares at him with such loyalty very amusing and even adorable at times.

Sometimes Sebek mutters (or yells) Malleus’ name when he sleeps, and it’s very obvious when he has just a regular dream and when it’s an erotic dream. Silver had to learn how to sleep through any type of Malleus dream Sebek has.

And Sebek has these quite often; he’s been having them ever since he was a child. His earliest dreams about Malleus were about him praising Sebek and making him his special knight or something. Lots of praising, lots of headpats. He still dreams of these things of course, but he’s been getting more and more spicy ones lately…

If Malleus were to invite Sebek to have sex with him and start an affair with him, Sebek’s vision of the situation would be all over the place. At first, he would think that he isn’t worthy, and that Malleus is simply using him to prepare himself for his future mate (which is absolutely fair, and it’s an honor for Sebek to serve his liege like this!). Then Sebek would think that he is probably the only one who is worthy of Malleus, and even a vague thought of Malleus getting another mate would make him cry because of jealousy.

Malleus doesn’t think too deeply about these things: he sleeps with Sebek, which means they are together. He enjoys getting kissed, hugged, he enjoys little romantic things that Sebek never allows himself to do, or does it on a whim and then apologizes for an hour. Malleus wishes Sebek would stop apologizing all the time…

Sebek bites Malleus’ horns and tail when they are having sex. He just can’t control himself. And even though Malleus’ horns are pretty tough, Sebek still managed to leave tiny bite marks on one of them, which honestly surprised Malleus more than maddened him. Sebek, however, felt deeply ashamed of himself.

In general, Sebek is super intense. He is hyper-aware of his movements at first, very overwhelmed and afraid to touch Malleus in a way that would feel unpleasant. But once he gets horny, he stops thinking altogether, and from that his passion and his instincts make him do whatever he wants. Malleus actually enjoys it, although Sebek’s strength surprises him sometimes. There are situations, where Malleus bones would’ve broken already if he wasn’t such a powerful dragon fae.

Sebek definitely broke Malleus’ bed at least once. So yeah. There’s that.

[idrisofficial]

Which characters/character do you feel most personally/emotionally involved with and why?

oh this is a very difficult question and i appreciate it very much. as any creator would, i’m inclined to say all of them in different ways…but that’s kind of a cop-out.

i think i’ll say brinne and lennox. they’re not the characters i relate to the most, but i do think i feel the most emotional connection towards them. a lot of what draws me to them is their silent suffering—both of them live in glass prisons of their own making. a lot of this is mental illness related, but their natural dispositions are also of great influence (although lennox’s natural disposition is extremely debatable when you consider nature vs nurture).

brinne was the first of any of my idris characters to exist, and the depth of her development definitely follows suit. her transition from a manic but deeply idealistic teenager to a reticent and self-interested monarch through the buildup of her childhood trauma and the final straw of her near death experience is so deliciously heartbreaking. her loneliness, her codependency with adrian, her sexual and alcoholic coping mechanisms, her deep uncertainty in the religion that gives meaning to her entire life…poor girl can’t catch a break. brinne has always been the focus of idris, and i’ve had fun and i’ve had pain hurting her like i do. most of the actual writing that i’ve accomplished revolves around her, and for good reason. she is at the core of the conflicts plaguing idris’s centuries-old culture and still just a twenty two year old girl who never really got to grow up. sometimes i act as though her teenage self and her adult self are two separate people, but the truth is that they are painfully intertwined. brinne’s suppression of her idealism and desire for change in service to her desperate attempts at self-preservation is what drives her motivations throughout every iteration of this story. she cannot escape who she is, try as she might. and i think there’s something so, so compelling about that for someone in a position of such horrible power like she is.

lennox is layer upon layer upon layer. the fact that he was originally inspired by byakuya togami? we’re not gonna talk about that. lennox has also come a long way as a character, the third to exist after brinne and adrian. he’s an og. lennox was a nice kid up until about age six, where the kindness was quite literally shattered in him to make room for solid perfection. a machine with style. he grew into the role almost too perfectly. the pinnacle of competence, a voice of absolute reason and logic amidst his generally wild and dysfunctional generation of nobles. here is why i feel such connection to lennox. he is ice on the outside, ice on the inside, speaks only when necessary but controls the conversation, and casually usurps the throne from time to time. he has studied these same people for sixteen years, understands most of them sickeningly well, and appears virtually flawless aside from his mansplainer bullshit. but my god is he grumpy, bitchy, flamboyant, perfectionistic to the point of petulance, and baselessly sadistic. he’s the second most powerful person in the country and he has constant migraines from dealing with others’ bullshit. he loves his siblings. he’s one of only two characters to understand his sexuality and he’s deeply afraid of it. he gets no bitches. he’s still mourning the death of the cousin whose death he was responsible for and who he was boyishly in love with. he’s sensible as all hell, but my god, he is fucking losing it. nobody gets that. even the people who hate him don’t get that. they hate him for his pretentious swag but don’t understand how much of a loser he actually is. anyways. i’m on a tangent now. he’s flawless. he’s horrible. there is no changing who he is, but would he ever have turned out like this naturally? lennox is a product of both what others have made him into and what he has forced himself to embody. there is no lennox that isn’t a diamond formed under absolute pressure.

[waitmyturtles]

THIS. EPISODE. DID. ME. IN. Moonlight Chicken episode 5 thoughts:

1) Let’s just call this episode ONLY FRIENDS, AMIRITE? Alan, Jim, let me tell you about this showwww...

2) No, seriously, this was another case -- as I am learning about Aof’s oeuvre -- where he packs SO MUCH into one episode that my head is left spinning (I’m still recovering from episode 10 of Bad Buddy). Like I reblogged earlier today: I LOVE that Aof is messing with the couplings, the GMMTV recipes. Love it, love it, love it. Seeing First and Mix get cute gave me the shivers, I can’t lie. 

3) We get the history of Wen and Alan. We get a lovely repeat of a trope he so beautifully memorialized in Bad Buddy. We get the other side of that trope -- when the relationship ends, the memories sour. 

How do you deal with that -- how do you process that? Oh lord, we got to see that through Wen, his processing, his thinking. His sympathy and compassion to Alan, which he still had! He still had their ring! Wen was willing to face Alan’s sarcasm, to take the hits, because he was afraid of truly breaking Alan -- until he absolutely HAD to break Alan, to break his own misery and fate. 

God, could Mix and First have done any better with demonstrating the hills and valleys of a relationship? I’m shaking my head because, while it was devastating to watch, it all rang SO TRUE. Aof didn’t flinch at the pain, the stomach twists, of the demise of this relationship. Ugh, even Alan at the bank with the loan situation. The SIMMERING! The anger, the sadness, the RECOGNITION that his bond with Wen was on the way out. With or without Jim there. AND -- Alan talking about Wen as if Wen were a possession. First SHOWED US what Alan’s fucking problems were! Oh, my gut. So painful to watch. 

4) And then. Jim and Wen at the chicken rice stall. And WEN, pushing JIM! Inherited trauma much, Wen?

We know why Jim is holding back from Wen at that point. We know Jim is preoccupied with his past. Whether or not Wen is acknowledging it doesn’t matter at that moment. What Wen is doing is pushing Jim like Alan pushes Wen. And Jim is like, hold up, hands up, I don’t want none of y’alls drama right now. I’m not there for this. (Which, to be honest, I took as a legit position at that point, despite feeling sorry for Wen. I appreciate a no drama stance from an OG uncle.)

5) But Wen. My heart for Wen. What I loved about the interconnection between his conversation with Gong and his run through beautiful outdoor Pattaya, recollecting everything he was going through -- we know what Wen’s moral conflict is. His moral conflict is that he’s earning money through a job that will destroy a key corner of Pattaya’s culture, the culture he’s experiencing at the moment of his run. His ability to function as an adult is literally impeded by his guilt towards Pattaya, towards Jim, towards the culture he’s going to influence deeply, and by his ability to afford (or not afford) his own place. His guilt towards Alan. His desperation towards Jim. His own poverty, financially and emotionally. 

Is he looking for Jim to save him? And, is that Jim’s role? 

6) And I haven’t even begun to talk about Heart and Li Ming yet. (THERE’S SO MUCH IN THIS EPISODE. I’ll come back to Jim and Wen once more before this is done.)

Firstly, with Fourth and Gemini -- LOVED THE FAN SERVICE. And I’m not even watching MSP, but I am sure the MSP fans loved the mascots and the pictures -- super sweet. Wen’s cute-cute uncle smile towards the two teens, gah, my twinkling heart.

7) Y’all, I really don’t know how much more I can take of these damn parents in dramas right now, lol. I just posted this today to help me process all the family trauma I’ve been seeing lately in the dramas I’ve been watching (and tbh, I’m doing it to myself, right, I’m choosing my own dramas, but STILL). 

But to see Heart’s parents struggling to communicate with their son. And to acknowledge that they haven’t had anyone to interpret for Heart in three years. And to see those parents actually have the motherfucking audacity to cry over Heart’s anger about literally being abandoned. 

[All bad drama parents that I’m experiencing right now -- please come with me as I lock you in a windowless room so you can ruminate on your crimes. (Which you won’t, because you’re all sociopathic narcissists, but ANYWAY.)]

@wen-kexing-apologist‘s prediction that Li Ming would become an interpreter was right for the present moment, and I loved that that came true. Along with this -- I absolutely LOVE that many of Heart and Li Ming’s conversations are not subtitled. I LOVE THIS, I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT. 

What all of this does for me -- the un-subtitled conversations, the interpreting -- it demonstrates the growth of their intimacy. Why should us as the audience -- WHY SHOULD HEART’S PARENTS -- be privy to a couple’s most intimate moments? Heart’s parents think they could control him, because they were clearly ashamed of him. Heart TRUSTED Li Ming to communicate to his parents Heart’s most critical thoughts and feelings. What gorgeous intimacy to see growing between the two teens. The trust. Heart can only trust Li Ming at this moment, because he can’t trust his parents -- not only with his inner thoughts, his own personal intimacy, but to even give him basic emotional care. 

@bl-inded’s analysis was spot on. I, too, also got the sense that Heart’s parents thought that they were doing enough, because they were taking basic care of their son without further engaging with him -- because they were ashamed of him, maybe even disgusted with him. What purpose would Heart serve to them after he lost his hearing? I’m sure they asked themselves that question (or, at least, Asian viewers/us broken Asian children would KNOW inherently that they asked themselves that question). 

8) A few last passing thoughts:

- I wish I could find the post here on Tumblr, but someone once wrote that the things that we fall in love with when we first meet a person -- their sarcasm, say, their sense of humor, their stubbornness -- those things often become the qualities that we end up hating as the relationship ends. Because the sarcasm gets turned back into the relationship. Oh, Alan. 

- I thought the use of sound and music were wisely leveraged. I loved the chirping outside the outdoor restaurant where Alan and Wen were eating during the break-up. It was very indicative of Pattaya’s outdoor eating culture. AND: when did we NOT hear music? When we saw Heart’s unused keyboard on his dresser as the camera pulled back on him and Li Ming as he wept. 

- Finally: I really liked the slight flip of the paradigm of older culture vs. modern culture at the end of the episode. I kind of felt like it was the younger crew --Wen and Li Ming -- who were the brave ones of the episode, to step up and out to reflect how they wanted to move forward in their worlds. Li Ming WAS going to support Heart, no matter what. And Wen WAS going to confront Jim, no matter what, and demand comfort from Jim -- because he know that Jim has comfort to offer.

What the HELL will we be faced with tomorrow, oh my god. I’m going to need a large cup of hot water with lemon, please, my poor heart!

I’m actually going to give this episode 🐔🐔 for the Khao Man Gai Appreciation Rating -- even though we didn’t see KMG, we got a clutch cooking tip from Uncle Jim about the old winter melons. AND, y’all, I made one of Hot Thai Kitchen’s KMG sauces, nam jim tao jiew the other night and it was bomb. Highly recommend!

[meyhew]

I was not expecting Macklemore of all celebs to put out the best statement about the genocide going on in Palestine but I am glad someone like him is using his platform for good.

first, i did not know his govt name is BEN. kinda crazy. anyway full statement for anyone wondering:

I have been in fear. I have felt a literal lump in my throat and I cannot stay silent any longer. I condemn the murder of any human. The bombings, kidnappings and murder of the Israeli people carried out by Hamas was horrific in every way imaginable. My heart deeply hurts for the Israelis that lost loved ones to such an abomination. As a father, I cannot imagine if one of my kids was at that festival, or was still missing after being kidnapped. It is absolutely unfathomable. But killing innocent humans in retaliation as collective punishment is not the answer. That is why I am supporting the people around the world who are calling for a ceasefire. We are witnessing an unfolding genocide in Palestine at this very moment. A U.S.-backed human catastrophe in front of our eyes. Gaza is being demolished. Well over 1 million people have lost their homes. Schools, hospitals, places of worship obliterated. Innocent kids are being murdered as I’m typing this. People can’t get out. They are literally fenced in. Israel isn’t allowing water, food and medicine into the open-air prison that is Gaza. And yet we remain silent. I have. There’s the fear of immediately being labeled Anti-Semitic when you say anything against the Israeli government. This is false. I  can wholeheartedly love my Jewish brothers and sisters while simultaneously condemning the Israeli government for their mass killings and Apartheid.  I have been backstage at night before the shows, tears uncontrollably streaming down my face in absolute disbelief at how we as a country are supporting these murders with our weapons and financial backing. We are collectively praying for Israel before NFL football games, projecting Israeli flags onto our buildings and watching in-depth news stories on the catastrophic bombings in Israel. All are important ways of honoring the Israeli lives lost and those that are suffering because of it. But why are we not doing the same for Palestinians? How are one group of people’s lives worth more than others? By no means am I an expert on this conflict. I am relatively new to this and learning as I go. There’s 75 years of Palestinian occupation and deeply rooted pain on both sides, stemming back far before I was born. But there is no side to take when it comes to our collective human spirit. We all have a voice and a platform to stand for what is right and just. Even if it’s a one-on-one conversation with someone. I understand my privilege in speaking out publicly because I have financial resources and am void of a boss or company to answer to. A lot of Americans are afraid that if they say something it could put their livelihood at risk. But if I’m putting my business, career, or Instagram followers above using my platform to speak out against genocide… what does that say about me?” I keep coming back to this MLK quote: ‘Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.’ I have so many close lifelong Jewish and Muslim friends and I don’t want to cause any additional harm to any of them. But I trust in our friendships that even if we disagree we can be rooted in love and acceptance in whatever dialogue transpires. I trust that these potential challenging and emotional conversations will not divide us in the end but lead to more compassion. Killing the innocent is never the answer. Revenge only breeds more hatred. Thinking of ourselves as separate from one another is a lie.

[alyjojo]

The Person On Your Mind in August 🌞 2023 - Cancer

Whole of their energy towards Cancer: The Empress

For this person to show up as an Empress, it’s definitely a wife for those of you that are married, could be a baby mama or your own mama as well. This is someone that’s working on bettering themselves, especially health wise, I’m getting a vibe of organic veggies, brown rice and falafel 🧆 Food could be a thing with them, whether for weight loss or whatever the reason, health is the goal with Death & 4 Swords. It’s a transformation inside of them, which obviously could be affecting you too if you’re always around them or deeply committed to them. It could be switched, and you’re in this energy, focused on growth and creative projects to “birth” into reality. The differences between you maybe used to not be much of a big deal, but are becoming increasingly more obvious to this person, or aware of them, as you continue changing & growing.

If their thing is not food specifically, then growth, art, creativity, music, children, expanding interests & beauty are the key to their goals, bettering themselves and doing what’s best for them, their family or even career is what matters most. If a committed relationship, there’s probably been a separation between you. Someone may have also recently dealt with a loss, and if so I’m very sorry 😞 Death and grief has a way of transforming us in ways other people can’t understand. If not, then this energy is inspired by something that’s ended.

Feelings: The Hanged Man

This person has felt like they need to get an outside perspective to this connection, they’re too personally involved in this, and they’ve taken some necessary time & space to get more clear on the situation. There has been a lack of equal exchange in this connection, you don’t stand level with each other in a mutual give and take sort of way, there is no reciprocity here. That’s what they were waiting for, or you, but that never came. Because of this lack in the connection, they feel like there’s no other choice but to end it, release, let go, etc. The World is a finished cycle. You could see relationships and commitment very differently, or have different beliefs. Their messages show the differences are big ones, and they just love you anyway. Could definitely be family.

Intentions: Strength

They intend to do nothing, hold back from you and say nothing. There’s no cooperation between you, I don’t even see communication, there is nothing going on here. If anything, the whole situation just stresses them out. Nothing is equal, so they’re removing themselves from the equation and giving up that it “could be”, they feel they’ve put enough time in waiting to see, or they’ve seen enough.

Actions: Knight of Pentacles

I’m guessing they’ve ended this connection already. They’re just going to throw themselves into work, or if you do interact at all, it’s in a very practical & slow moving sort of way. They’re conflicted about releasing this connection, or they’re afraid to fight about it. Maybe both. If other people are in the mix, they’re cautious but worried about that too. They seem like an ex that still cares but is trying to just let go & move on, that’s what I get the most from them. Or they feel you are, and are following your lead. If not romantic, they’re nice to you, the lack of equal love & warmth, giving or whatever really plays on their mind a lot and they try to let that* go. They feel like they cared way more than you do/did.

Messages:

Their side:

- We are too different

- You belong with me

Your side:

- STATUS 😎

- Not Ready …yet

Possible signs:

Libra, Capricorn, Gemini, Taurus & Leo

If you’re dealing with:

The Tower and Knight of Pentacles (again) show a possible divorce, death, probably this specific situation or relationship with The Empress in your life (Cancer shows up with this same card, that could just be you). This is something that is changing your entire life, love, belief system, you name it - as you have known it to be thus far. It’s also moving painfully slow, taking a long time to come to The World. Most Towers are shocking and sudden, but if this is a divorce for example, it’s taken quite awhile to get to an end. This can also talk about an illness someone has had for a long time, or suddenly and shockingly changing a part of life one has had for a long time (food, appearance, etc). However this applies isn’t only affecting you, it’s affecting your whole social circle too.

Aries - could be a single parent, has shifting circumstances they’re trying to stay afloat in, it’s all a heavy burden weighing on them

Taurus - masterfully creating something they’ve been planning, going back to school or getting training, possibly planning a trip

Gemini - waiting around to save more money before they can do what they want to do

Cancer - if you’re this Empress, they’re very happy for you and see you as “winning”, very successful…or could be your person’s friend

Leo - is just gonna say it how it is, and go back to doing whatever they want, they feel good and also aren’t that focused on your issues, or involved

Virgo - could be very generous and loving towards you, this is a stable & happy relationship, one of you could be staying over or crashing at the other one’s house 🍻

Libra - nostalgic about working together until someone left, they’re kinda bitter about that, but also seem to miss you, or just their old job

Scorpio - recalling painful ghosts between you but unsure how to bring it up to you to discuss

Sagittarius - just over it, even the clarification shows they’re over it & onto the next thing

Capricorn - taking a break from you because they find you to be selfish, impulsive & draining, or that’s switched

Aquarius - a good friend, lots of communication here, has a new hobby or passion they’re obsessed with, going to a celebration or event & could be inviting you along

Pisces - at a new beginning in their lives and aren’t really sharing much with others, moving quietly

[milesobrein]

Ways To Potentially Make a Difference

Hey guys, tonight at 7:00pm EDT I’m gonna phone bank with Sunrise, (this a link to a text bank above, but if you guys are interested in a phone bank the website will offer you options such as the one I’m doing tonight) Sunrise is a Grassroots non profit organization dedicated to fighting climate change and giving people of any age a voice in phone banking for Kamala Harris. I’ve done phone banking in the past, and it really is surprising just how much of a difference it can make. I won’t sugar coat it, there is arguing (sometimes) and sometimes people absolutely refuse to give the candidate you want their vote, but even that is good Data too, because it tells Sunrise where to focus on next. And sometimes it really does work, for example I was speaking with a man who said he wanted to vote for Trump because he sounded something to the effect of confident in his debate, and I told him Trump wanted to take democracy with him, and he was horrified and said he was voting for Biden, and for those people who’s hearts you change or people who don’t know the location of their polling place and you tell them, it really makes all the difference and is so moralizing, feeling like I am finally doing something when for days, no months I’ve felt useless because my depression has frozen me, so much so I’m not even in college right now in-spite. But I’m going to be honest about something else, I haven’t phone banked in days of months. I am making this post to hold myself accountable so at 6:00 pm tonight (my time in Austin) I will have no choice but to go. I don’t think I am an argumentative person, I do argue with people but I hate to do so deep down. I hate to sound stupid. I hate for there to be conflict, I hate for there to be an idea a possibility of my failure, and in an ideal world there should be a way for all of us to make a difference to each of our strengths and making a difference shouldn’t have to cause us stress, but even joy. But with this election, I don’t feel I have this choice personally. With this election, I am acting even though I don’t want too, even though I am scared too, because I am so terrified of what my future will look like, both for myself, and others that tonight, I am making this promise to you all, and acting. It isn’t a noble truth, it’s a frank one and one I’m deeply sad about, that I have waited so long, and let myself get so frozen before I act, but tonight I am trying to change that, because this is a way we *can* make a difference. I know the idea of conflict is scary, but for me at least, a future of Trump who wants to ignore every article of the constitution is scarier. Right now, a quote that’s helping me is “bravery isn’t not being afraid, it’s being afraid and acting in-spite of it.” And let me tell you all, Sunrise will give you instructions every step of the way, there’s a script phone bankers read of off, you can stay pretty close to and on the zoom call the administrators can answer any questions you have and really breaks it down for its listeners, you can even message them during the phone bank and pause at any time if you have questions. And if you guys don’t want to phone bank tonight, the link I gave above has other days you can try if you don’t want too do it tonight as well. And lastly, if you don’t want to phone bank, I completely understand, it has taken me this long to commit to it tonight.

There are, other ways to make a difference. You can make art for a change, YouTube videos analyzing why Trumps speech’s flopped, crashed and burned, interpretive Dance about why we can’t have Trump in office, or a science video about why Trumps logic is bullshit. And a thousand other ways I can’t think to name. Really, just because I’m not creative enough to think of ways to make a difference more than posting this on Tumblr, Phone banking and making art, doesn’t mean y'all can’t do a thousand times better and think of a thousand things more than I can. And it doesn’t have to be flashy things either, it can just be simply voting or reblog ing this post to as many people as possible which I hope you all do. In solidarity, and I know my art isn’t that great, but for every person who says they voted, or lists some way they made a difference in this election in the comments, I’ll do an art peace for them. It’s not too late to take action. And I hope you all are doing well. sincerely,

-A Scared Person

[swinters77]

He loves to hold me. To run his fingers across my back and kiss my forehead gently. The way he looks at me, like I was painted by the gods above just for him. Those arms pulling me in tight, as if I was going to drift out to sea.

I should love when he holds me. I have never felt more admired and praised and adored. So why do I catch myself looking off into the empty corners of my mind, slipping into different worlds. When he looks at me like that, I feel every little insecurity rise to the surface. Every inch of me wants to crawl under the covers and hide. I told him once that I was afraid of heights, but he still puts me high up on his pedestal and I’m scared I’m going to fall. He’s a good man, a kind man and I should love when he holds me..

He holds me like I’m the pocket knife he stole from his father when he was a kid. He only takes me out and plays with me at night when there’s no one around to see. I’m hidden, locked away and waiting to see if he’ll need me again. I see his stolen glances and the way his eyes soften when they meet mine from across the room before turning back to stone. The tilted grin and his hand on my thigh under the table. He looks at me like I’m going to be the hardest decision he’s ever going to have to make. Love, hate, lust, jealousy, nostalgia, pain, comfort, sadness, confusion. His eyes hold an entire galaxy of emotions and I can’t help but get lost in those stars.

I hold on to him like it’ll be the last time, every time. I hold him close because I know I’ll be losing him tomorrow morning. The way he says my name and runs his thumb along my chin sends waves through me. Our bodies twisted and thoughts tangled together all night, sharing dreams and secrets and pain like we aren’t going to be strangers come sunrise. I can’t help but smile and roll my eyes when he shoots me that grin. I know better, I truly do. But what do you do when the person you’re supposed to hate feels like home? I’m surrounded by glass houses with egg shells for floors, but he has always been my log cabin in the woods. I hold on to him even though I know I should let him go, I just don’t know how to.

I have been holding on for dear life. My head and my heart are clouded with conflicted feelings and my body is at war with itself. I feel like I’m living a double life, existing in different worlds. My head is logical. There is a good man who says nice things that wants to give me the white picket fence life I’ve always dreamed of. My heart is a mess of emotions. I’ve always had a soft spot for the boy with the bright blue eyes that smells of wintergreen mint. He has seen every inch of me, every single up and down. I feel everything so deeply with him. The love, the hate, the sadness, the happiness. For years I’ve searched for that high in every man I’ve stumbled into bed with. There is a good man that I love and a man that I have always been in love with. I will try to hold on to hope as I grow cold and bitter with myself for not knowing the answer.

[heleneea]

Disorganized Attachment

trouble disclosing feelings

allowing themselves to be vulnerable

difficult to open up to other people

have a negative view of themselves and others

tend to act difficult/ intolerable ways that end up pushing people away (confirming their belief that other people will reject them as self fulfilling prophecy)

tendency to recreate conditions of childhood. subconsciously get involved with fearful/ potentially abusive people

relationships have taught them they cannot rely on others to accept and love them for who they are so they may act suspiciously/ jealous of their partners’ behaviors

prone to mood swings and create conflict within a relationship

problem expressing their needs and emotions in coherent ways because they struggle to understand them

can be clingy/ demanding in relationships. deeply desire love so actively seek attention and approval but can overanalyze their partners’ actions due to fear of abandonment 

presumption that their needs won’t be cared for so they shut down their emotions and can come across as cold and unfeeling

inconsistent push and pull energy (ex: I hate you but don’t leave me)

inability to feel safe and cared for despite craving that very thing

“feeling flooded, traumatized, unsafe and confused fear”

conflicting emotions- wanting to be loved but not being able to let anyone in

“They’re afraid that the people who they’re closest to are going to hurt them, and feel like rejection and hurt are inevitable.” 

even if have support, have hard time believing 

struggle to self regulate their emotions/ behaviors

can act impulsively/ inconsistently

“I’m leaving you before you have a chance to hurt me”

low self esteem & low self worth that impacts the ability to keep consistent, safe feeling and long lasting relationships 

usually stems from trauma/ neglect from childhood

may stem from parent’s unresolved trauma/ loss

experience highs and lows at such depths that it’s hard for them to know what steady ground looks like

may see partner as place of safety one moment but the villain the next

you don’t want to burden others with your problems but you internally know that you need to connect with someone

you are capable of great emotional depths but you feel overwhelmed by them

people tell you you’re “too intense” and it leaves you lonely and isolated

your critical voice is most frequently used on yourself- this self criticism makes it hard for you to see and accept the gray areas in others as well. It creates and unambiguous standard of perfection

as you turn from hot to cold, your partner doesn’t understand why you can’t trust them. They might say things they don’t mean, in anger, or accuse you of being “too emotional”

these negative reactions just confirm your suspicions that your partner is flawed. You break up only to regret your decision later. 

focusing on the flaws in your partner

deep seated feeling of worthlessness and being undeserving

may cling to the idea of a perfect partner so any flaws are hard to accept

inability to regulate emotions or how to respond to the emotions of others

alternating between clinginess and distancing

difficulty bonding with, opening up and trusting other people

behaving in a way that ends up pushing their partner away because they are expecting their partner to hurt them but then end up in a place of distress because they really want their partner to stay

negative view of themselves and others

scary for them to let people get close enough for them to form intimate bonds

afraid of intimacy but equally scared of not having it

like playing a game that you never really understood the rules of. You want to play and win but no one ever told you how to play. You lose every time you try to play and end up getting hurt

to overcome disorganized attachment, you must work through the confusion you have about the conditions of love. It’s not your fault that no one told you how to play the game and win. You have an innate desire to connect with other people but knowing how to use emotions to connect is not innate knowledge. 

Finding someone who makes it a little easier to trust (nonjudging, predictable, accepting) can be the perfect place to start opening up and exploring your experiences, needs, and emotions in a safe environment. 

For the partner: 

realize it’s not personal. It’s not about you. Try not to be triggered by your loved one’s reactions to their fear. Be accessible, responsive, engaged. Show up in a secure, consistent and predictable way. Take care of yourself. Set your limits and encourage your partner to seek help when your ability to be there effectively ends. 

Root cause of disorganized attachment is fear. Prove that you are a safe person. Be very patient and extremely consistent. Demonstrate that you’re there for them. You care for and love them. Make your affection known. Communicate through both words and actions that you’re not going to disappear or abandon them. Build trust. Remain calm throughout all the emotional disregulation they experience. Recognize that there is inconsistency in their approach in the relationship. Tolerate the ups and downs as much as you are able to. 

Communicate openly and clearly. Be consistent. Aim to be patient and understanding. Listen to their concerns. Don’t expect trust straight away. 

https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a40079652/disorganized-attachment-style/

https://brianamacwilliam.com/disorganized-attachment-style/

https://www.attachmentproject.com/disorganized-attachment-relationships/#:~:text=Disorganized%20attachers%20view%20their%20romantic,disappointment%20are%20inevitable%20in%20relationships.

https://thrivefamilyservices.com/a-deep-dive-into-disorganized-attachment/

[vminsos]

@hosam-2 - post | fundraiser

@hosam-2 message: "Hi, I hope this message finds you well. We’ve launched a campaign to support Hussam in Gaza, who is dedicating his time to feeding dozens of abandoned animals left behind by the conflict. Any donation, no matter how small, can make a huge difference in saving these innocent lives. Please consider visiting the campaign link and contributing if you're able to. Thank you so much for your kindness"

@nooribrahim24 - post | fundraiser

@nooribrahim24 message: "Hello, I am Noor from Gaza. I need your help urgently, My mother is now in intensive care on an oxygen machine. I am very afraid of losing my mother, She needs an operation urgently."

@aisha20586 - post | fundraiser

@aisha20586 message: "Please, my friend, donate to me. The situation is very, very difficult. My children are suffering from hunger, illness, and extreme cold in the tent. We are hungry. There is no food, no drink, no milk to breastfeed my children, not even diapers. My husband is sick and cannot work, and we do not have money to buy. Please help me and my family. Thank you very much."

@assifamilygaza3 - post | fundraiser

@assifamilygaza3 message: "❤️🍉 Our support is very weak. I am Nour from Gaza, a mother of three children. I gave birth to my baby a few days ago during the war. I was born under very difficult circumstances. The war made us lose everything. I don't have money to buy milk🍼, diapers or clothes for my baby. My newborn baby needs emergency surgery affecting his growth that costs $350. Please help save my child Hamza 😭💔🙏 Support us with Christmas gifts with your donations to us and help us with your support😿 Please look at us with mercy"

@mssb9994 - post | fundraiser

@mssb9994 message: "

🚨 We Need Your Kindness to Survive 🚨

Hello, My name is Mosab Elderawi, and I live in Gaza with my family. Life here has become harder than I ever imagined, and I’m writing this with hope in my heart that you might hear our story.

The ongoing war has devastated my family. We’ve lost 25 family members—each one a beloved part of our lives, taken too soon. I miss them deeply—their laughter, their presence, their love. Every day is a reminder of this unimaginable loss.

We are now facing daily challenges to survive—things that most people take for granted, like food, clean water, and a safe place to sleep. The harsh realities of life here have replaced our dreams with the constant fight for survival.

Our Current Situation:

💔 Lost Stability: The war has left us without work or a stable source of income. 🍞 Basic Needs: Food and water are becoming harder to afford with rising prices and scarce resources. 📚 Dreams on Hold: Like so many here, my family’s dreams have been replaced by the need to simply survive. 😢 Unimaginable Loss: Losing 25 loved ones has left a void that can never be filled.

How You Can Help:

I’m sharing our story with the hope that someone out there might care. Even $5 can make a big difference for us, and if you’re unable to donate, just reblogging this post can help spread the word.

Your kindness, no matter how small, is something we’ll never forget.

What This Means to Us:

Your support is not about changing our entire situation—it’s about giving us a little relief, a little hope, and a way to keep going. We are not asking for much, and we understand if you can’t donate. Sharing our story is just as valuable to us as a donation.

Thank you for reading this far. It means the world to us to know that someone is listening. Your kindness gives us strength and helps us believe in a better tomorrow.

With all our gratitude, Mosab Elderawi and Family ❤️"

@saraanna1 - post | fundraiser

@saraanna1 message: "

Hello

I am Hiba Khader, a mother of three from Gaza🇵🇸.

The war has destroyed everything—my home, my job, and my dreams.

Each night, I cry as my children go to bed hungry, their laughter replaced by fear and pain.

I’m begging for your help to give my children a safe home and a chance at life."

hello, these people reached to me for help in my inbox. since I can't donate, I can only help sharing their stories and fundraiser! so, if you are able to donate, please do it! and if not, I would be glad if you reblog and share this post! thank you!

@yusra-maryam58 - post | fundraiser

@abuadam86 - post | fundraiser

@teto110 - post | fundraiser

@ibrahem-4 - post | fundraiser

@nedaaabd - post | fundraiser

@hashem1979 - post | fundraiser

@yasmin-yonis - post | fundraiser

@ammarfamily - post | fundraiser

@yousef-falestinef - post | fundraiser

@mohammed-hassouna1 - post | fundraiser

@samy-family55 - post | fundraiser

@wafaaresh1 - post | fundraiser

these are the ones it was on my inbox today! this post probably will be updated if i receive more!