#im too vibes based with this story but in my defense. [no defense]

[yellowocaballero]

Have to say. Yahiko/konan/kakashi/rin is a pairing i never considered before now lmao

I thought about it for .5 seconds and decided that Yahiko and Rin have to be extremely free love, and that Kakashi and Konan are horny. I think a girl who's already down for a threesome with the two least functional boys would be equally down for a foursome with her least functional man, world's sunshinest man who had the bad fortune to be roleswapped with Actual Naruto, and Konan (self-explanatory). I think it's mostly just sex, but by the time that canon rolls around Kakashi has unfortunately gotten kind of attached to Yahiko and Konan. I think that's always been Kakashi's greatest burden - he can't stop himself from caring, no matter how many times it burns him.

Rin's manipulating Yahiko big time, but I think her affection for him is genuine too. You have to feel bad for Yahiko a bit, but - well, he's not exactly the best person either. Konan knows that Rin's using them but she doesn't care. They are so dysfunctional and I love them all so much.

For the record, Yahiko's been swapped with Naruto and Konan's been swapped with Sasuke. Nagato died instead of Yahiko, but rest assured that he's been female coded enough to be a tragic dead friend who is pretty much defined by others and by his juicy eyes. Don't sorry, they're in a better place now.

[kurosagihater]

Assigning Tokyo Debunker Characters Into Honkai Star Rail Paths

⚠ Disclaimer

There are some inaccuracies. I don't inspect each ghouls on microscopic level, so I apologize in advanced if you find some characters not fit into the path you think they'd have. I'd love to hear your thoughts on which path your fave will follow (✿◡‿◡)

There are two tier list: one for the path they follow and their path in the gameplay. Since some HSR characters' gameplay paths a lot of time don't match the one they actually follow in the story.

I am not a meta slave! My knowledge on that is probably like... around 70% give or take (It's still difficult for me to full star pure fiction without a team full of limited 5stars pls)

Pls feel free to share your thoughts on this. I'd love to hear them.

Paths are congregations of Imaginary energy, born as manifestations of universal philosophical concepts. Those who believe in and practice the concepts behind a certain path become Pathstriders, and the path that they happen to follow will change in accordance with their own philosophies and opinions. In some special cases, entities that manage to completely intertwine themselves with a path and explore its philosophical concepts to their entirety will become an Aeon.

In gameplay, paths are utilized as a class system for characters in the game, detailing which gameplay style their kit is designed for.

The ghouls and their path (philosophical concept)

1. ABUNDANCE

[ Those who follow the "Abundance" Path admire selflessness, altruism, and healing behavior. ]

I actually contemplated on putting Subaru in Harmony... I legit have nothing to back this up lol. He just give the vibe. Even though Yaoshi (the Aeon of Abundance) is seen as a savior by making creatures immortal, their act also bring chaos to the universe as abundance doesn't judge who should receive their blessing and who shouldn't. They will heal monsters in the brink of death because that's who they are. And the creatures they brought back to life will turn into a full-on mindless and chaotic creatures.

2. DESTRUCTION

[ Those who follow the "Destruction" Path admire recklessness, anger, and destructive behavior. ]

Taiga is pretty much self-explanatory. Alan is somewhat in the middle between destruction and preservation but I lean more to the first option.

I almost put Towa in harmony tier (yes) but the "supportive" part can only be done if there's Haru so... yeah. Lyca might be destruction, might be hunt, especially since he's so determined to find Neros and he's also quite ruthless sometimes...

3. ERUDITION

[Those who follow the "Erudition" Path admire thinking, logic, and strategic behavior]

I think the path description alone is enough to shed light on them. Although I was actually putting Hyde on another tier at first... (I forgot which one).

4. HARMONY

[Those who follow the "Harmony" Path admire understanding, support, and cooperative behavior.]

The description just screams ZENJI. Also, Haru could also be put in Preservation tier.

5. NIHILITY

[Those who follow the "Nihility" Path admire laziness, exhaustion, and meaningless behavior.]

The "I've seen enough" "I don't give a f" "leave me alone" "idfk im lazy"

6. PRESERVATION

[Those who follow the "Preservation" Path admire patience, sacrifice, and defensive behavior.]

Self-explanatory.

7. The Hunt

[Those who follow the "Hunt" Path admire determination, ruthlessness, and tenacious behavior.]

OFC I'M GOING TO PUT ROMEO & LEO THERE. The only ones who can stand and also RESPECT each other on that level. Sho was a bit on grey area... so I put him last. Too confused.

Their paths in the gameplay

This one is based on their major role in the main story (with the current interpretation i have as of now ofc lol). This is because some characters' path/ideology in HSR doesn't match their gameplay either.

1. ABUNDANCE

[Heals allies and restores HP to the team.]

Ofc I'm gonna put two doctors in there.

2. DESTRUCTION

[Deals outstanding amounts of damage and possesses great survivability. Suitable for various combat scenarios]

LISTEN,,, JIRO & YURI'S KIT WOULD SYNERGIZE SO WELL AS A TEAM. Yuri is like the BIS (best in slot) healer for Jiro that players would kinda have no choice but to get both.

Also destruction chars are often centered on lowering their HP bar to deal big pp damage. Jiro and Alan are a tank-type characters in this.

Towa destroying enemies with bubbles... but he can also zapped the enemies with thunder... Imagine it. With his silly outfit too.

Taiga is... similar to Aventurine's kit, he has this XX% change to add something during battle. It could be from technique or with how much he drained the party's HP (yeah). A combination of Jingliu and Aventurine. A bit of a tank but not as much as Jiro and Alan. Having a healer isn't preferable as the more low is HP is the bigger the damage he'd deal.

You gamble to get him, and then you gamble again when playing him. That's Taiga. But HE WINS A LOT so even if you don't manage to get the best buff, he'll still do great.

Lyca is a stack-type character, and he has a few states as well. Kinda like Firefly, he can turn to werewolf. He ignores weakness type too.

Alan is similar to Blade/Mydei in kit. With one of his best team IRONICALLY being Dante *cough*. Kinda like how Blade got upgraded after Jade's existence yk.

Tohma is similar to Yunli. A tank that's centered on few types of follow-up attack. Has good synergy with Jin (and Luca at some point)

3. ERUDITION

[Deals remarkable amounts of multi-target damage. The main damage dealer against groups of enemies]

Jin is the type who can deal with enemies by himself with so little turns wasted. A must-have if you want to full star in Pure-Fiction. He's probably aThe Herta-expy lol

Imagine The Herta but instead of doing a follow-up attack he'll get extra turn instead (idk how to explain it but it's that one Seele kit) so you can choose which enemy will receive the most damage. He does well without his BiS lightcone but if you GET SOME MONEY OUT and get it, he'll power creep so many DPS. This isn't even biased.

Haku... he just want to deal with enemies as efficient as possible. A sub-dps type of erudition character but can be main damage dealer if you know how to do it. He's versatile in many teams and can also buff the party.

4. HARMONY

[Applies buffs to allies to improve the team's combat capacities]

Subaru harmony kit would involve around cleansing, ER, and CRATE increase. Mainly for one chosen character but with his LC he can regenerate energy for the whole party during change of turn/ult

(Maybe I should make the damage dealer of Hotarubi a character that relies on ult to deal big numbers...)

Also since Subaru kept insisting that Haku is the reliable one and Subaru is more of a supporting role... wwww.

I can imagine Subaru's ult wearing a mask or something like that.

Zenji... two nights ago, when I wrote this thread the first time, I thought "hold on Zenji can be remembrance" so YEAH I missed that chance ahaha but anyways, I think Zenji can still be a remembrance/harmony type chara, with his doll doing most of the damage as his memosprite.

I like to think Zenji is similar to Lingsha in a way. To make his doll attack, the team has to receive damage first WHICH IS GONNA MAKE HIM FIT SO WELL WITH IN JIRO'S TEAM!! Zenji is going to be like Moze. He can disappear so the one being present the most is the doll.

He's a harmony + remembrance that also deals some damage type of character. But to get his doll to do more damage he has to ult (that's where Subaru come along). His skill will buff one chara and they will have this floating paper circling around them JUST IMAGINE HIS BATTLE VOICELINES

Cornelius can also be remembrance. He can get his kitties to do the attack for him lol. I think Cornelius would be the character that can choose one chara to attack immediately (like Bronya, Sunday, Sparkle). But his base SPD is like really low, so he got power-creeped fast

5. NIHILITY

[Applies debuffs to enemies to reduce their combat capacities]

I didnt think much when putting Ed in there tbh. He reminds me of Kafka so he's probably going to be DoT character. Not to mention people are starting to *cough* leave DoT behind *cough* (DONT ATTACK ME)

But he is a powerful DoT unit tho. The kind that makes the devs think twice to do a new DoT unit that can power-creep him. "Ed is still doing good in the game so let's not get him behind so soon" Although his DoT is rather slow, he deals a lot of ult dmg tht can also slow down enemies

I hate to say it, but Hyde would do well with Romeo. He's shitty with Sho but works well with Romeo. I HAVEN'T EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT ROMEO'S KIT YET FFS! I think it's rather personal, but if I were the enemies and I have to face Hyde, I'll just walk out of the battle.

Hyde would be similar to Fugue I think. He helps students do well in missions, I don't see why his kit wouldn't revolve around shield breaking or adding new weakness so the students can do their job easier. Would it be funny if I give Moby the same kit as Jiaoqiu? The cook.

6. PRESERVATION

[Possesses powerful defensive abilities to protect allies in various ways]

Luca is definitely a shielder. The ones that add shield bar to the team like most preservation unit in hsr except Fuxuan. He does follow-up atk after he reach a certain number of stacks.

RUI, HOWEVER, he can do a lot tbh. I could put him in Nihility, I can put him in Abundance. I'll just break them all down here.

Rui preservation is the Fuxuan type. He'll take most of the damage in the entire team and when he reaches a certain percentage of HP he's going to release a powerful FuA immediately. Rui as a mix of healer and debuffer sounds so good he'd complete the Obscuary team so well.

Rui abundance being lifesteal-type of healer (which we don't have yet). Instead of instantly heal the party he give the enemies marks, and the more these marked enemies get hit, the more they regenerate HP.

"Wouldn't that mean the team has to be fast?"

Rui as debuffer tho? Those marks also make them move slower. If you add Ed with him he's going to be one of the best healers out there.

I CAN'T JUST NOT PUT THE FUTURE BEST LAWYER OF JPN HERE IF HE'S NOT GOING TO DEFEND YOU COME ON

*chuckles* Ritsu attacking enemies with his thick ahh book *chuckles*

He's also a shielder. But he can only give the best shield to one particular unit and make them taunt(?)

Basically enemies would be drawn to attack his chosen shielded unit. And the more they got attacked, the more dmg Ritsu will deal when he ult. It almost blurs the line on who is using who, and that's just kind of poetic to me. A relationship between a paralegal and his client.

"You will receive my protection, but in return so many of our opponent will want to point their knife at you. And the more they do, the more evidence we're going to get to win in the court (or battle, in this case)." - Ritsu. Probably.

I'm biased so I will make him unkillable. If the enemy is too strong, he's going to be the last man standing. He's going to attack with less DMG tho since he needs to give his shield to others in order to get his ult to do big numbers. Unkillable nonetheless.

7. REMEMBRANCE

[Possesses the ability to summon a memosprite with special abilities to fight alongside the team in battle]

HARU AND PEEKABOO KRILLING ENEMIES TOGETHER!!!

He's like, doesn't do much DMG but God is he fast. Similar to Aglaea in that regard.

The faster he gets a turn, the more dmg he's going to make. And the ult is actually more focused on Peekaboo changing into a different state (the creepy peekaboo with fangs and stuff). But Haru gets targeted often by enemies. Like Tingyun lol. So... it's so easy to drain his HP

⚠ THIS ONE CONTAINS CASTOR1CE LEAKS!

Idk if you've seen the leaks but would it be funny if Ren summons that kranken baby (I FORGOT HIS NAME) and he can turn into giant kranken and just... obliterate the enemies...

"wtf is ren gonna do" nothing?? he's a loser leave him alone

BOONIE AS SHO'S MEMOSPRITE! Idk if this can happen in the future but to imagine a memosprite that relies on stack. Like how Acheron and Feixiao's work. YOU NEED TO FEED BONNIE SO SHE CAN WORK! She's such a diva honestly. But she does tons of damage so that makes up for it.

Sho's basic attack is just him throwing punches. That's it But I also want them to have 2 different ults. One is just bonnie, the other is Sho riding her. Again, idk how that's gonna work but there are different types of skill in GI i don't see why we can't have different ults in HSR.

8. HUNT

[Deals extraordinary amounts of single-target damage. The main damage dealer against Elite Enemies]

Leo's kit is pretty straightforward. I need him to be like Boothill in a way that he can shred enemies' shield as easy as he gets under people's skin (and dirt).

Yeah. He's going to be really similar to Boothill. He'd taunt one specific enemy to only hit him, which then will make him really vulnerable. Unlike Alan who is a destruction unit meant to tank, Leo just can't. Big numbers come with great vulnerability; it comes at a big price.

But he's a solid unit all and all. Would do so much more if you get his eidolons. He's going to bat his pretty eyes "Did I do good, Trailblazer? I was good, wasn't I? Now go get that credit card and pull more of me. Pretty please?" - Leo. Probably

Kaito as a hunt unit wwww He'd be a sub-dps type. Rather similar to Hunt March 7th. Depending on whose commands he listen to, he'll provide different buff (*cough* Jin *cough). Another one that synergize with Jin. Even though he's already too good on his own lol.

Romeo is situational. He can be main dps, he can be sub-dps. Really similar to Feixiao but instead of going fast he'd want the rest of the team to have their own turn first and gather his stacks for him. He's slow, he relies on ult to do big damage but dealing with bosses has never been easier when you have him in the team. The downside is he really need his light cone for you to unlock his full potential. I don't make the rules here he is EXPENSIVE! You can't give him some light cone from the shop let alone a 3star one

His technique immediately marks random enemy, making it his target. Similar to Leo, he deals with one enemy at a time. The mark can be moved by using his skill.

I think the target would not only marked just for show they'd also get debuffed (similar to Ratio). He ignores weakness type.

This one probably won't make sense but if one character in the team (let's say it's the main dps and Romeo is the sub-dps) is at their limits like low on hp, he's going to do more damage. He's going to shoulder the role of main dps.

And this would make Sinostra his best team.

That is all. But let's stretch this a bit further by ranking which house synergize well the most. I didn't imagine their kit as a team, I imagined them individually. That means some dorm team wouldn't be as good.

Frostheim: 3.5/5

Two main DPS: Jin and Tohma One sub-DPS/Buffer: Kaito One shielder: Luca

Jin can carry the team just fine tbh. Too much damage dealer imo

Vaga: 2.5/5

They're all doing the damage. No one's buffing the team, no one's keeping them alive. They rlly said YOLO but i guess that's vaga for you. Alan can tank but Leo is gonna die first (or the enemy. that really depends on the player)

Jabberwock: 2.5/5

Worst than vaga. I mean they're all gigachad especially Towa and Ren, but Haru will be so vulnerable to attacks. They need at least one healer in the team

Sinostra: 4.5/5 and yes i am BIASED

Taiga can tank a little and he's fun to play with (some players will say he's annoying before they even got to play him). And Since he can tank he doesn't need Ritsu's shielder as much as Romeo.

Taiga needs to bleed, Romeo need stay alive to get the team to win (and be Taiga's substitute just in case he's reckless enough to die), and Ritsu is a perfect shielder for them. Ritsu is unkillable and he's going to defend (protect) both of them until the end.

Hotarubi: 4/5

If I stick with remembrance Zenji, this team will do just fine. Haku will kill most of the enemies and Subaru is there to make him deal damage more often.

Obscuary: 4.5/5

Obscuary being centered on team that full on debuffing the enemies till they die. No they don't need buff they will weaken the enemies with practically no effort. Rui is there to support them and Lyca can get the job done fast.

Mortkranken: 4/5

Yuri and Jiro works well together in the story, they also work well in this one. No other healer can keep Jiro on the team to constantly deal damage the way Yuri does. Yuri is tailor-made for Jiro and Jiro is tailor-made for Yuri.

[therealtsk]

What Your Favorite Worm Ship Says About You

some people have found my crusty, old ass tumblr post on this very topic, so im making a new one with my updated opinions! Cause those are, in fact, allowed to change. Enjoy! Taylor x Lisa: you recognize the obvious fact that these two have more natural chemistry then any of the actual relationships in Worm, and you're into relationships that could be dysfunctional or healthy with one push in either direction. also something something sun lesbian moon lesbian. Taylor x Rachel: You love dogs, and you want a girlfriend who can kick your ass. You're also into bomber jackets. I respect you. Taylor x Alec: Sadly, you do exist, and you did make it weird. Go away! Taylor x Amy: You read altpowers on the daily and complain about canon worm being too grimdark. Solid odds on you having never read worm. To be clear, it's worse if you have. also something something FBI OPEN UP Taylor x Victoria: You like the vibes of Lisa and Taylor's dynamic, but you want them to be a little more heroic and a little less dysfunctional. But only a little. Taylor x Clockblocker: You're straight and liked that one joke that cropped up. I also haven't seen any of you in a hot minute, thank god. No offense but this ship is mad boring.

Taylor x Sophia: You've come to realize that Sophia is a great character who gets done extremely dirty by the rest of the fandom. Also, rivals to lovers. Taylor x Emma: This can go one of two ways. Either you adore childhood friends to lovers, or you love enemies to lovers. Either way, you're obsessed with hurt and/or comfort fics. Taylor x Theo: You actually read Worm and recognize that Theo is criminally underrated in the fandom. Now just stop shipping him with Taylor and you'll complete the next step on your journey to enlightenment.

Taylor x Simurgh: I can't say for sure you're a anime fan, but you're definitely at least a little bit of a monsterfucker. also something something inherent eroticism of being world-destroying power couple. Taylor x Greg. You read Worm SI's unironically and get really defensive when people say that Greg is an incel. Completely unrelated, you haven't spoken to a woman other then your mother in five years. Taylor x Cherie: I've been informed this is a ship. I've yet to be informed as of a reason why I should like it. Cherie likers stay mad!

Lisa x Rachel: I don't remember the last time I saw this ship that wasn't also tagged as a polycule with Taylor, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're an OT3 enjoyer.

Lisa x Victoria: You’re into the “enemies to lovers” trope, but more of the "Spiderman x Black Cat" type then the "you murdered my entire home town but i can't help but find you sexy" type. Also you have a thing for blondes

Lisa x Faultline: Your ideal relationship dynamic is bickering married couple. You're also into heist movies.

Lisa x Simurgh: You have a thing for smart girls... who hate you. Also, you really liked Part of the Whole.  Contessa x Alexandria: You're fucking based. Also something something inherent eroticism of girlbosses winning. Contessa x Numberman: you're friends with Peri and enjoy memes about pants and math. Numberman x Jack Slash: You think serial killers are hot and are starved for m/m ships. Danny x Eidolon: You're losersexual and are starved for m/m ships. Also you frequent r/wormemes. Danny x Miss Militia: Honestly, i think you all died out. I couldn't be happier, this ship is fucking dumb. Amy x Literally Anyone Besides Taylor: listen, there's like a hundred different jokes i could make here, but all of them boil down to amy fans always defending the rapist for some reason so let's just agree amy defenders are fucking cringe and move on Dragon x Defiant: You understand that this is unironically the only healthy relationship in worm with some of the best character growth and romance in the entire story, and a majority of all of it happens off screen. You're extremely bitter that so many fanfics do both of them so dirty they get beaten into different characters. Alec x Aisha: You like the idea of this ship, cause two pranksters making everyone miserable is the kinda vibe you enjoy, but constantly run into the issue that Alec is...well. Alec. That or you're into Alec's brand of shit, in which case, FBI OPEN UP Aisha x Missy: You read It's Cold Out There Every Day. I did too. Fuck, this fic is so good. I'm going to go cry about the ending again. Lily x Sabah: Yes, you know the age gap is a little problematic, you just want to be happy with your relatively healthy canon lesbians goddamn it Purity x Literally Anyone: You don't understand why people keep calling you racist. You're not! You're just weirdly defensive of the hot milf who murders people of color and seem to constantly bring up that Kaiser didn't actually believe the nazi propaganda he was peddling. You are racist btw Taylor x Brian: You...are Wildbow

[orcelito]

OH THO what if in persona 6 they did smth similar to what tales of xillia did? Aka you have two protagonists, one boy and one girl, and u can choose who you play. Both remain & both are important to the story, but bc you follow different protags there are some parts where it diverges and you get little snippets of story just from their pov

Raising this possibility bc I've never actually played that much of p3p female protag Despite p3p on psp being where I experienced persona 3 (back in year 2014 lmao) bc i love Minato so much it's hard to play minako bc it means I won't see him 😭 if I got to see him too it'd make it easier to play a game with her

Oh also Pokémon does this. Like basically every Pokémon game. Whoops that's probably a more culturally relevant comparison. Oh well I cant help being a tales bitch

[icharchivist]

first: some defense for my assumption—azuma just has that like pleasant but also kind of shady vibe around him so like, he could convince me he’d done a murder even if he hadn’t, and then I don’t know everything abt hisoka but the part where he’s like “don’t approach me from behind” totally could have come with the words “...or I’ll kill you” afterwards it’s just the Vibe I get. perhaps itaru is the weakest argument bc all I have going for him in this respect is the gamer rage but like then chikage brings it home bc although I’ve never met him the little I’ve seen from incorrect a3 has convinced me this dude has canonically murdered. anywayssssss!!! let me talk more abt winter troupe lmao is this this first / second thing going to become a pattern?

second: HOMAREEEEEEEE 🥺🥺🥺 I like related so hard w/ his entire like problem and I was like oh.... oh.... this guy cares So Much. yknow and I don’t think it’s like not nothing that this guy just came into the troupe and like immediately committed himself to like helping out hisoka like he just so very clearly Wants to be here... ahhhh. oh I also think it’s fun that everyone in winter troupe are like. Adults. it’s a nice touch that makes them suitable for both the play and the final showdown I think. meanwhile summer troupe def seems to skew the youngest which like, again. also fitting for their plays. I liked how he just left the loupe of sincerity alone after he used it!! like... it was nice of him to make that choice and understand it was a crutch. anyways I’m so excited for their show, I just like checked out the theater version of it and ahh..... now that’s gonna be a fun play in the sort of bawling at tasukus closing lines way....

First: okay i get the feeling (if you have it check Azuma’s backstage for his base SR, SE [About to Bloom] A Lively Home part 1, because Sakyo makes the exact same assumption you do XLKJFDLKFJDF)

For Hisoka i won’t say but yeah he is shady indeed. tbh i was mostly surprised at the assumption for Itaru and Azuma but now that you mention it for Itaru, i get it. 

as for Chikage...

“ but like then chikage brings it home bc although I’ve never met him the little I’ve seen from incorrect a3 has convinced me this dude has canonically murdered. “

THE REPUTATION WE’VE GIVEN TO THAT MAN............

Second: yay more winter troupe rambles :3c

AND IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED HOMARE’S STORY I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! i just genuinely love how the game took a character and told us he had low empathy and still made him the most caring and loyal and LOVING person you could ever get. He loves so muCH, he cares so much, he gives his everything about it, even if he doesn’t understand other people as much as he wishes to, he tries because he CARES and he wants to help and i’m just. so soft about his whole storyline. He’s such a sweet and kind and loving character and it’s so undeniable how much he cares for everyone.

 I also really loved that he let the loupe of sincerity behind. It’s like, it was helpful to give him the push he needed but now he managed to make his feelings clearer to his troupe and he knows his troupe cares for him and understands how he might be struggling and so that they’ll be understanding toward him, so now he can try by himself. I just find it so.. so sweet 😭😭 

But also big agree on the fact Winter being all adult makes it very nice. It does help with the mature vibes of their plays in general and that can tackle the issues they have with another angle. Plus with their conflict avoidance in general it means that when they raise their walls the rest of the troupe doesn’t especially know how to push to know what to do about this issue (the Homare arc was really an attempt to break that pattern in a way i think) and it makes it more complex to navigate. 

Especially when like, compared to Summer who are so earnest in general, like all of them had their walls up too but when someone was being a douche (well. Tenma.) they’d call them out, and most of Summer is all “so we need to address this issue or what.”.

And i do think there’s this sort of parallelism of the earnestness of youth, still growing, still learning, and this sort of maturity of adulthood that also comes with the fact that they have learnt to keep their feelings for themselves and deal on their own. 

And it fits their respective troupe’s themes - all of the troupes really, and i love that. I really love the dynamic of Winter in general im just hhhhh

and as you say yeah that helps that therefore Winter is the one who have to take care of the final showdown. Hell just the fact they didn’t have problem with acting but problem with connecting with their feelings, unlike the others troupes, already preparing them for the biggest challenge but forcing them to connect with how they feel and let those emotions shine through. so good.

As for the play OH BOY YEAH.. YEAH. the play is sure something and it’s a TRIP to experience  live so i hope you’ll enjoy it when you reach it :3c

Thank you again for sending your thoughts, loving them <3333

Take care :3c

[offtopicoverload]

Howdy there!! Who are the li’s you fancy the most from LITG??

hi! thanks for the ask!

i honestly dunno who’s my top answer, cuz they’re all interesting in their own way

I’m only going to talk about female LIs cuz the only male routes I’ve finished are Bobby and Jake, and I tapped through most of Jake and only ended with Bobby on my first run cuz I never unlocked Marisol, so I’m not the best source lol

Talia:

She’s just so chill but has no problem standing up for MC, she has her back no matter what

Which, like, what a queen

She’s the original and only one of 4 LIs, which maybe it’s just me, but for a game based on an incredibly heteronormative reality show, allowing representation for queer audiences from launch is such a big deal and so cool to me, so Talia’s kind of special in my mind

She was also my first LI so nostalgia points

And she’s such an easy LI, not much drama on her route outside of Lucy, just her having MC’s back as the boys make themselves look like idiots

And she has so much potential, like I know some people think her only personality trait is fancying MC, which I mean, is a little fair, but there’s so many opportunities for her in fics and headcanons to develop the good amount of information we got on her in 13 days

I absolutely love how self-aware and confident she is

She just went for what she wanted, struggled a bit with commitment at first, because who wouldn’t, but after that it was smooth sailing

Like obviously what she said in the Beach Hut at the beginning of the season wasn’t great for MC, but she knew exactly what she wanted out of her time on the show

She was confident in herself and her sexuality so much so that she was just down to have a fling with a girl and not worry about how it would effect the show

And then she *coupled up* with that same girl, not even giving a shit about the rules or anything

A queen

Allegra:

I know she’s not an official LI, but her arc is what got me into writing so she gets a million points for that

I love what could have been done with her progression if she was given an actual route, I’m a sucker for some good enemies to lovers, but alas, she’s canonically a bad bitch with a lot of internalised homophobia yet enough confidence to ask MC out

I still love her

Marisol:

I know so many people hate her, and I get it, but I do really like her growth

Maybe it’s cuz I’m pretty analytical too, but her analyses never bothered me or anything, and now that I’ve played her route so many times, it’s pretty obvious that that’s a defense mechanism, and I understand that

She very much so has a “figure their weaknesses out before they have a chance to figure mine out” attitude, and I’m 99% positive it’s because of the ex that Elisa reminded her of

So not only has she been burned in the past, I’m willing to bet it was by the only woman she’s been in a serious relationship with

I really have no problem with her commitment issues, it’s understandable, and I can really empathise with her fear of coming out, it’s absolutely terrifying even if you’ve accepted it and bought a flag, saying the words can be really difficult

My biggest issue is her entitlement and immaturity, I guess?

Like her using Graham to make MC jealous just feels like an excuse to crack on with him and still have MC available for when she’s ready

I understand her being scared to couple up, but playing games to distract herself just made things with MC worse

And unless youre on her route, and sometimes even when you are, it’s clear to me that she expects things and has no problem saying what they are, but going after them is a problem?

Like her going after Lurik even though they don’t have a connection, or Gary even when he’s with Hannah

But then it never works and she gets sad and I melt because I’m weak

ALSO, can I just say how awful it is that Lucas and Henrik don’t pick her unless they have to???

Like cmon she deserves MC after that

And when they finally couple up? And she’s all soft? The GROWTH ohmygod

Anyway I love who Marisol became, maybe not everything she started out as, but definitely the person she ended the season as, more confident and self assured and willing to be vulnerable

It’s precious

Elisa:

I still haven’t done an Elisa route

I tried to a couple months ago, but dumping Marisol felt so cruel, what the hell was Fusebox thinking with that?? 

I do really like that they learned from their mistake though, even if they went in the opposite direction

From what I’ve seen of Elisa, she can be pretty sweet, I’ve seen her described as a Lucas-Bobby hybrid, and while that’s not the most interesting personality to me, I will say that she’s a really cool character that FB messed up on

Why did they make her a straight up villain???

And why ONLY her???

None of the other female LIs have been villains or had such a complete 180

Like her going from shouting at Chelsea, who is literally meant to be MC’s ride or die and the person outside of your LI that youre supposed to want to defend and avenge, to “i cant even sleep because im pining so hard”

I know the treatment of black women has been discussed before, specifically in regards to Hope and Erikah, and it is by no means my place to speak on it, but I definitely think something’s going on with Elisa

Anywayyyy, I love her archetype

The celebrity and influencer has so much potential, to the point that I wrote a one shot without even knowing her lmao 

And she’s so confident in a way that’s so different from Marisol

She doesn’t even care if MC’s happily coupled up, she WILL get in her pants and I respect that

In conclusion, Fusebox did her dirty and I’m probably going to try and retcon some canon for her in the future

Lottie:

Ohmygod

Lottie

A goth babe

Lottie

Yeah, anyway, so I love her

Her growth is just unbeatable in my opinion

Yeah, she still has her flaws by the end of the season, but she went from ready to rip everyone’s throat out to biting her tongue around Hannah

And her and MC???

And the development between them??? 

Ugh

No matter what way you swing it, you’ve either got best friends to lovers or enemies to lovers and I adore both

And her aesthetic is one of my favourites, I’m alt myself and having a character like that is just so cool

My Runaways MC is a ball of sunshine with some hidden darkness specifically because Lottie’s such a dark cloud but can start shining with the right person, and that’s my absolute favourite trope

But man were the wedding episodes a cop out

Why couldn’t they give her the Noah treatment? Or the single treatment? Where they just get together after the show? Same with Hannah, why are they giving such an intense confession after who knows how long of literally nothing, like no communication even????

Don’t get me wrong, I kinda simultaneously love it for the angst and yearning, but it just… makes no sense?

So yeah, amazing bat lady that I seriously vibe with and wish my MC could have wifed up

Hannah:

I know this is a little controversial buuuut

I fucking love Hannah

But only OGHannah, Returning Hannah was butchered and I will never let that go

And it was such a toxic message too, that she needed to change herself and her appearance just to get a guy to like her?

Fuck that, Original Hannah was amazing and perfect exactly as she was

I love her trope, too, the naivety and how obvious and clear it was that she’s still learning about the world and relationships, to the point that it’s going to get her in trouble

And her obsession with fairy tales? 

Fucking adorable ohmygod

I started a fic a while ago that I think I’m gonna scrap, that just indulged in the fairy tale metaphors and stuff because I just love how cute it is lmao

If she wasn’t dumped, I think she could have had amazing growth alongside Lottie, and their friendship/kinda, probably, most-definitely-if-MC’s-not-there-more-than-a-friendship growing together would have been so good

In an alternate reality Hope was dumped instead, and that helps me sleep at night

I firmly stand by the fact that Noah should have been the deciding factor between Hope and Hannah/MC, where Lottie said something that screwed with his head earlier in the day to make sure her friends were safe

Noah should have saved Hannah/MC and Hope should have returned with Rocco, hellbent on revenge and proving herself

That would have been so good for Noah stans and such good drama, that actually made perfect sense

Hope was fully expecting that she’d get picked by Noah because they’d spent three days attached at the hip and then to just… not have that happen. It would have driven her insane and if there was then a scene with MC where she just like, gives up

Like she’s spent the past two days grafting Noah but he won’t make up his mind and she’s just done and MC can comfort her or fight with her and you just get to humanize her make her vulnerable and hurting and I fucking WISH they did something like that, even for RHannah

And Hannah’s growth in the Villa would have been so amazing

I think her idea of a perfect guy is definitely too much, and I’m not advocating that she settles by any means, just that she could have learned that there are things more important than money

That conversation on day 1 where you choose between money, kindness, and intelligence still baffles me

Like why are you a gold digger Hannah?!?!

Why don’t you just want a Prince/ss Charming???

Her and Hope should have swapped and I don’t understand why they weren’t

I mean, I do really like Hope, but Hannah’s just so cute and has so much to learn and her struggling in the Villa just to have a lightbulb moment with MC would have been precious and now I want to write it dammit

Anyway, Hannah is adorable and had so much potential and she never should have returned if they were just going to scrap everything that made her Hannah, except for snooty literature

I wanna listen to her rattle on about Belle and Mulan and every other Disney Princess and what they meant for representation and progress in media and then compare them to their original stories like a dweeb and I would have melted on the spot

Like yes, please tell me more about how gruesome Cinderella is

She should have shown up at the finale and hugged MC and been innocent and sweet so I could have just lost my shit for like a half hour

But stan OGHannah, burn RHannah

AJ:

Adorable, precious, denied an arc outside of coming out

I am not exaggerating when I say that I cried at 4:30 in the morning at her blushing face when playing the first two days

It’s just so fucking cute and I’m a sap and I don’t know why it made me cry, but it did okay?!

And her coming out was such good representation!!! By far the best thing in Boat Party, and I’m so proud of the progress FB’s made in queer representation at the very least

I know she’s pretty one dimensional, but most of S3 is unfortunately

Her being available right off the bat was also such a win, I’m positive it’s the reason she had so many stans

If her and Yasmin had switched or her and Lily, they would have been the ones that were dominating Reddit polls and stuff

And I know she’s written as masc but I just can’t really see it? Like I can’t see her in a dress, but outside of a few clothing items, I guess I just can’t see it? Maybe androgynous is more the word for my image of her, like definitely a mix

She’ll wear a skirt under the right circumstances, but never a dress, a crop top with a flannel, her prom outfit that’s like a frilly jumpsuit, stuff like that? idk im not a lesbian

Her route for me was so glitchy, but I know that if MC’s stolen from her by Yasmin, Tai, or Ciaran, she has some really cute scenes and I wish I could have seen them

And I know some people were ragging on her for the eyelash at the end of the scene but I thought that was just a perfect callback - maybe it’s the writer in me

Basically, AJ’s adorable and why did Ciaran have to split her and MC up, not cool dude

Yasmin:

I forgot I was doing a Yasmin route a while ago, but from what I’ve seen and played, she’s really sweet 

I hate that she’s almost nonexistent outside of her route

Give us a mysterious musician friend, you cowards!

I saw that she sings to MC on the final date and damn is that cute

Her eyeshadow kinda throws me off, but her stuffed animal makes up for it

And I’m salty that Yasmin the Lamb disappeared too, that was such a nice detail that made me start a Yasmin route

She’s distant and self-assured, but has a soft, gooey, nostalgic center and I wish we saw more of that, even if we weren’t on her route

My final thoughts on Yasmin: An artsy indie icon that I really need to stop getting distracted from and finish her route

Lily:

Again, don’t know much about her, but she seems really cool

Her shaving her head between the finale and Boat Party is such a flex and I wish she did it right before Boat Party so we could see her in all her bald glory

She’s into cars, right? And… architecture?

Idk, I barely remember my own name, let alone a 10 minute date from months ago

But I’ll definitely get around to doing her route at some point, maybe just to write for her, we’ll see

Elladine:

I know she’s not an LI, but MC so should have been able to run away with her

I missed that option in S3

I kinda get why they didn’t do that, but Boat Party’s just so messy in general

And I would include Genevieve here, but she’s so cute with Seb that I’d feel bad splitting them up

But Elladine had actual problems with Nicky!!!

Why did they mention it for it to never pay off??

And I’m so mad that the hype around her died when it was revealed she wasn’t an LI or the badass of the season, because I still adore how sweet she is

I also want to brag that before we got a name I was calling her Emma and that’s just on example of my almost psychic-ness

But yeah I wanted Ell to be a run away option and I’m salty that she wasn’t

Know what, fuck it, Viv too, she’s smart and cool as hell, let us love these awesome women FB, you cowards!!!

I have no idea who would be my number 1 based on canon, but if we’re talking hypotheticals, I think my answer, as strange as it is, is Hannah.

I just love what she could have been, but by no means what she is. 

It’s so awkward to know her for three days, not see her for three weeks, then spend a couple more days with, a couple weeks at most, just for her to write a whole ass book about MC?? And tell her about it with that hair????

No thanks, I’ll stick with closeted sapphic horse girl nerd Hannah because I guess that’s somehow my type??? Oh god what the fuck I swear I’m not a total weirdo

[partyinthemysterymachine]

as a classic cats fan what did you think of the 2019 movie?

FOREWARD: i have full respect to those who enjoyed CATS 2019 and show their support and engage in that part of the fandom. rock on. very truly, honestly, sincerely, i hope you have a blast and create and share and have the best of times. welcome to the fandom, it’s great to have you here; thank you for joining us and i really, really do mean that from the bottom of my heart and soul. it really makes me happy that CATS has become something good for you like it is, and has been, for so many of us. i’m ecstatic to see the fandom expanding and i’m so very serious about that.

unfortunately this is the time to jump ship if you don’t want to hear any more complaints about it. thank you and ilu all and once again, welcome to the fold, i love that you’re joining us and y’all being here honey butters my toast xoxo

there was a 2019 movie?

runs hands down face

from the very first sneeze of an idea of doing a CATS movie went around being speculated in what.. 2012?? i have been against it because i knew it wouldn’t be done right. what i really wanted, really hoped for, what the fandom very honestly deserves and STILL does to this day and beyond is another honest, no dances cut, full on professionally shot video of the stage production again.

i’m still putting my hand to the cold glass and pulling my thin shawl around my shoulders as i gaze past the rain blurring the dreary world outside and sighing a tremendous, weary sigh because Hamilton is getting a full professionally-shot stage movie...... and CATS likely won’t ever.. and how cruel that is.

(not hatin on Hamilton, btw; im just old and bitter LOL i have zero hard feelings towards Hamilton and honestly good for them for getting that done, they deserve it)

so...... listen. i appreciate the thought and commitment to making a CATS movie. i think the biggest thing that busted my balls about it was the use and execution of the CGI cat people. ofc this is a big thing in a lot of opinions. but i’ve always been sitting here like....... 

there are... decades of fanart. decades of productions and photos and costume design. but the fan. art. did anyone go in and look at it? artists have been drawing these characters a wide variety of ways, but when it boils down to the anthropomorphic take on it, i thought it was pretty damn clear how good it could look. i feel like they should have been diggin in the CATS art trenches all this time, all these years, and really taken all these artistic interpretations very seriously to heart. 

it felt like a slap in the face when they overhauled nearly everyone’s design/look to the point where i don’t even know who i’m looking at. and listen, i’m here for redesigns, don’t get me wrong. i dug Jason Derulo’s Tugger design. i dug Idris Elba’s Macavity base idea because he was made a shorthair and clearly all source material says otherwise? and where’s the ginger, mate?? 

(NOTE: in the b’way revival the new Macavity costume is easily 99% black in contrast to the original design in which the costume was 95% red and orange. stark difference. “Macavity’s a ginger cat” contradicts the revival costume a bit since, again, it’s largely black. so in its defense, the costume’s red/orange accents are well placed and the black pays more tribute to the “very tall and thin” aspect he’s supposed to have. (the old costume was wild and hairy, it kinda puffed him out a bit, esp with the much fuller and taller wig.) the revival wig is more on par with main wigs, and it has that coppery color, the makeup is simplistic (as it needs to be added on to Plato) and the color use FOR base Plato brings out the red and etc etc etc. i like the revival costume; it didn’t go overboard on the reds and oranges, it was sleek and powerful, and oh my god you’ve got fingergless gloves with fucking fringe there is a MANE wiht FRINGE who designed that bc i gotta kiss em and offer a piece of my heart and soul)

everything felt muddled, disorganized, foreign, and god why did we do Jennyanydots that why please why are the cockroaches people please are you all ok in production? blink twice if you need help

oh yeah and the fat jokes. i think we were supposed to be getting over that but ok

very interesting thing with Macavity kidnapping the potentials. kinda dug that. fuck it up, Skimbleshanks

and speaking of fuckin Skimbleshanks you have no idea how much of my shit i lost when he started the tap number. i was over the MOON. GOOD shit, FUCK yeah, GO OFF and it was brilliant, absolutely beautiful

ALSO when i heard Judi Dench was gonna be in it i was really hopeful she’d finally play Grizabella. what a fucking treat that would’ve been. she was set to debut the role in the West End, then she tore her Achilles, so Elaine Page replaced her and the rest was history. i’ve really wanted to hear/see her Grizabella. :(

(and briefly on the topic of Grizabella i’m kinda not here for the trend of younger actresses in the role just hhhhhhhh kinda takes away and misplaces her whole vibe and story imo)

i just.. i didn’t understand some of the plot changes like how Macavity was up in everyone’s bs tryna force himself up to the Heavyside Layer, it was silly, and yeah i shouldn’t take CATS so seriously even with the longtime fan background but 

gestures helplessly

y’all fr?? 

there were a lot of super questionable decisions across the board and all that has already been gone over by so many people a dozen billion times. on one hand, i’m glad CATS got some exposure. on the other, :( not like this

however, on a very good note (other than skimbleshanks bless him): let me tell you how EXCITED i was that they used the original Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer arrangement. what a fucking pleasant surprise. HELL yeah. i LOVE that arrangement and i’m tickled to pieces that it was chosen.  good shit. good shit.

tbh as Serious and Bruh Calm Down this might all sound, it’s honestly no skin off my teeth. it’s a frustration, sure. i’m so very tired.  i’m disappointed. i didn’t have any specific expectations about it, just a lot of hopes. maybe too many hopes.

being a longtime CATS fan i know as well or even better than other people what a fucking dumpster fire the show is LMAO it’s wild and it’s ridiculous and god it doesn’t make any sense, it has a plot and it has no plot and everything about it is so horny and it’s the greatest fucking thing to ever happen to me

i obviously have a lot of feelings and history with CATS, and 2019 did not “ruin” anything for me, it didn’t “taint” anything about it, despite everything i’ve complained about i don’t consider myself a purist. (ok. except about the revival choreography. some things are more sacred than the vatican.)

i don’t dig 2019 as a whole. i don’t want to completely disregard it. there are bits and pieces i did like and that i can appreciate. i wish it wasn’t done that way. i just wish we had gotten a true blue professionally shot, no dances cut, honest portrayal of the stage production. 

but hey it is what it is. at the bottom of it all i’m just glad there are new people coming in and taking a look around. it’s nice to see a resurgence of the fandom. it feels really good to see more people here and loving it. i missed CATS and the CATS community. it feels so good to be home.

[danganronpedits-archived]

if its alright i’d like to ask for a kin matchup. for the sources how about dr/fangans, yttd, or any other character you see me as. I’d prefer the two sources I mentioned though. to get started I was told by a couple friends i can be really sweet and optimistic however I can get defensive and sarcastic too when I feel stressed or pressured. I tend to forget important things sometimes. I also use exclamation points a lot because Im pretty optimistic (as said before) (1/2 i dont have enough space)

(2/2) I can get upset sometimes though and I tend to have a hard time finding the good in situations after that, some hobbies of mine are relatively basic I enioy drawing and baking. my favorite foods are usually sweet things or cheesy. I also play games quite a bit!!! thank you very much mod tsu I appreciate it!

this was really fun, anon! thank you very much for requesting! i hope you enjoy,, and please note that this one might be a bit short- i’ve been a little low on energy lately ^^; so i’m sorry about that!

from danganronpa, i match you with...

komaru naegi!

okay i KNOW that komaru’s been in like the last 9,000 matchups, but hear me out. first, i think that you and komaru both have your moments of being really sweet. i mean, do i really need to expand on this- we all saw how her and toko’s friendship developed in udg. however, on the flipside, she’s not someone that takes insults lying down, which is where the defensiveness and sarcasm come in- though it’s more the former than the latter. i think that a lot of what she remembers can fade from her, though of course things she holds dear to her, like her family and manga, tend to stick with her! she is pretty optimistic most of the time, and i think that she does try to be encouraging, tying in with you and your use of exclamation points.

once again going back to her relationship with toko, whenever things get tougher, specifically after their fight, i think komaru does start getting more passive and negative. in general, just having as many remarks as she used to have, and not being able to be her usual optimistic self. this is totally fine, don’t get me wrong! but she can have less of a will at times. plus, she also probably enjoys drawing as she wants to be a manga artist someday, something quick you have in common. the two of you can also consider yourself a little basic or boring in some aspects! we don’t really get to go into her interests beyond manga, but the only real difference i see between you two is that her preference in food is... very different to yours, haha. moving on!

from the danganronpa another series, i match you with...

yuki maeda!

haha... i feel really bad that he’s been here a lot lately, too. but! i think that the both of you are fairly similar! he can definitely be sweet and optimistic, and tries his best to get along with others- however, whenever he’s more startled he can lose his manners or get more defensive. plus, it’s spoilers, but the latter happens a lot more... in late game. once again spoilers, but yuki has forgotten plenty a thing. he is very energetic, and while we don’t see him text, that could definitely translate into using exclamation points and whatnot- he seems like the type to really express his personality over text! in general, i think your vibe is also pretty similar to his- though he seems a little more jumpy than you, i’m also not very familiar with the fangans or their characters.

yuki does have something of a low self esteem, though, and can get more negative and down after something bad like oh, you know, a murder, happens. like komaru, you and yuki both consider yourselves(more specifically, your hobbies) rather ordinary, due to his “lackluster” talent. while we don’t really get to explore yuki’s interests, i wouldn’t be surprised if he likes sweets(he seems like the type) and if he likes Vidya GamesTM!!

and lastly, from your turn to die, i match you with...

kugie kizuchi!

i’m gonna be honest, a lot of this one is based on my interpretation of kugie- despite her being so important ingame, we have a surprising lack of actual development for her- however, we do have some stories/info from kanna!! so i’ll do my best! but, a more superficial one, i don’t know what it is but her design has the same vibes as you, anon. like, she looks like how i imagine you. from what kanna says, kugie can definitely be sweet and optimistic at times, but rougher around the edges as well- specifically on the more defensive side of things. we don’t know much about her memory, but i think that she can be very optimistic despite not being very expressive about it- so !!’s are a good way of doing that for her!

kugie is definitely the type to be more downtrodden and quick to anger after something bad happens- for a bit, kanna was that bad thing, as she tells us ingame. plus, while i’m not too sure of your actual average-ness, kugie does honestly seem like the type to bake every once in a while, especially for holidays! as well as being a GamerTM, i could see her playing something together with kanna once they start getting closer.

-

it’s minor matchups time! from danganronpa, you also remind me of kaede akamatsu, as well as a bit of makoto naegi! from dra+2, you also remind me of sora, and a bit of akane taira! from yttd, you remind me a bit of sara chidouin, and pregame shin tsukimi!

that’s all of em! thanks so much for requesting and reading, i hope this was good! please remember that you know yourself best, and if you’d like any information added or changed, please just let me know! i’m more than happy to update this for you, anon!

-mod tsu

[harlemthefoxgoddess]

I would recommend the show and pilot the Progenies. I hope it continues to flourish because honestly its really the only thing that got me interested into the whole descendant cast of characters. I never read the books and only saw just show but with but that pilot and harriyanna hook discussion truly got me interested into the characters and I can't wait for her to do them justice. Secondly I don't understand how people can be interested in Mal, while I do agree to like what you like and to not harass others ship and such because doesn't do anything other cause more fiction and fights. but as casual as I am with show and characters I don't really get why people are willing to die on hill of character who can be easily taken out of the story and nothing being lost. She just very bland vanilla cake, like it might as well be a sponge for how many mistakes in the attempt. (sorry for my kinda racist pun)

For example I think you already lost the cause when one she isn't very interesting visually or personality wise, plus doesn't help when their fav literally force her love interest (Ben) to become her love interest by magic love potion to get back at someone who mean to her. which in my opinion i don't care if it was a lie and weren't finances or dating the attempt to take someone boyfriend from some else just because don't like them is gross and toxic, if he or she want to break up with them its their right not yours just because jealous or think they deserve better. Another thing is Mal is mean and yeah I get it they live in toxic place with villains as parents but just doesn't even feel like she cares about friends she must rather jump off and ruin their chances of good life and opportunity for others that are still stuck in the lost, and then I'm supposed to see how she is much better comparison to her parents?! and see her as such great friend and leader;

Even when she has the opportunity she hardly spend time with them and when she does push down their wants and need because she believe she "doesn't deserve this nice life" or the more tragic "too bad to deserve second chance". Some would say that its complex and deep and nuance but in reality its just confusing and stupid. like she wants as the others to step out of shadow of villains parents and be notice for themselves without being judge for what parents had done. However, if she so much better and change from her mother than why does she keep doing stuff that put not only herself in jeopardy but people she suppose to care about down with her, I can get her being anxious and worry she hasn't done enough to rectify her mother sins but at no point did she ever think to talk to her friends who's probably going through it as well or to her loving boyfriend who do anything for her. the only choice was to run away back to the isle without telling anyone just because you feel like something wrong and don't fit, and ruin that chance for others like herself at getting redemption or chance for better life.

And big why here why is it okay for her to make mess and never get consequences for her actions; yes she got some with Audrey and her friends but that quickly got over. Its like never cross her mind that yeah after humiliating Audrey and taking her title and her boyfriend that maybe she i don't know take it well, never went check up on her or apologized or even asked maybe Ben to go check up on her or both find her and talk to her and help through break up. Or in Uma case and others there's never a time for her to I don't know even ask her boyfriend the same guy who made the decreed for you and friends to get off isle to help gain others off isle other then just group, or was no time to talk to Uma before leaving and apologize for leaving in bad terms and promise to help get off the isle, no she had to be forgotten and then seen as villain when both Mel and Uma were friends and equally bad.

Its really telling that when her (mel) own boyfriend is the only person who can see she misunderstood while being kidnapped and in danger. Like all the girl wanted was to escape and be given a chance, and who could blame her when someone given the chance left it the moment it matter the most. and with the fight I can't blame Uma for being mad because while yes it was mean to laugh at friend who feel into the water but in defense probably didn't think it that serious because she can literally turn into a dragon and fly up, in that comparison never to apologize for getting shrimp in her hair that she could never get smell out which already traumatizing to then have everyone else call her shrimpy which is worse. I could understand if she told Uma that she had a fear of drowning and water and had her laugh at her, however from I can guess at they only close friends and not besties so she probably never told her if she had that fear, I only say this because if she had I could see Uma going out her way to try help her with her fear maybe even teaching her how to swim.

I get this suggestion from how she acts with her crew like when Harry lost his hook she went out of her way to help him back onto the dock even if she didn't need to help and rather if she so evil it would've beneficial for her to continue her fight with Mal and win. Plus giving Uma personality she would've help Mal out after she laugh because once again probably didn't see it as serious and thought funny to joke about, kinda how your friend would laugh if you fell not out of malice but because that how they react to when they worry. And yet I'm still supposed to see her in the wrong and even if take out the whole race thing it still would look bad but when add it makes it even worst. which doesn't help that Mal is convinced that Uma is evil for kidnapping her boyfriend, which i go back to evidence one where she not better for drugging or attempt to drug Ben.

And this isn't even going into the whole how she treat her supposed loving relationship with Ben, which is just makes her more of hypocrite at least with Uma she treats people she cares about with love but according to Disney wiki im supposed see her as "manipulate" like where?! please tell me this missing piece of Uma ever manipulate someone into doing something they didn't want to do. I can guess maybe this got this from Harry and Ben but in Harry case he wanted to help her in her plan to get revenge and escape the isle and with Ben she never lied to him her opinions and thoughts on why she wanted to leave or why she didn't like Mal so him believe she misunderstood or deserve a chance isn't a lie.

Going back to Mal she never even tried or attempted to not do things without her magic, yeah I can see her point of that being stupid to not being able to use magic because isn't any bad magic only bad magic user who use it wrong. However, the point is Ben and others were trying to make is that using the that already got bad reputation from their parents other citizens aren't already going to give chances because what their parents done ruin their world. Yes defeating Malevolence did help their chances but that only the beginning, to really show that they are serious in changing is to give that bad vices giving upon their parents and apparently magic happens to be one of them. nothing is wrong being independent and without using magic to help them in everyday chores they could've been much easier but does give them chance to learn something new.

Had this been years or months later and people still wasn't give her chance despite her showing them her change and want to be better I could've understood but this wasn't the case. What it did prove is Ben and others being in the right because magic did help ruin someone life and made it worse which is Audrey, given she wasn't in right state of mind and left alone with no help or friends that magic amplify the bad emotions which only got worse the more she push away.

But Mal is still seen as in the right and being main character because of what exactly? is it because of her parents that seem artificial and nothing to do with her or is her powers and abilities to become a dragon? because again she got that from her parents and has nothing to do with her personality and person as person.

And to make the sad point is there is some there underneath all of this blandness a very tiny speck of good character or the very least an interesting one but sadly the author hasn't done her justice. which is depressing because even fixing the character you might as well make a brand new one because their isn't any use for her.

It really tragic when Mal's friends and Uma and her crew are much more interested and intrigued. And to be honest without any biased Uma looks much more intriguing I love her concept with her having pirate look while being a sea witch (having the octopus tentacles). I enjoy her beautiful braids and the colors and her outfit (not the one with the jacket that make look clutter but i guess her captain one) that give her badass pirate queen vibe. In comparison Mal doesn't even have anything that even suggested she daughter of Maleficent or for that matter for some reason Hades. are you going tell me that maleficent let her daughter go out in public dressing like that? where are the dark elegance and polish and dignified of daughter of mistress of hell? she should at least have some medieval European style since that what Disney movie of sleeping beauty is based one. its really sad day in hell when I could see the live action movie based on her name (Maleficent) theme and wardrobe closely resemble to an folklore European look and even that movie had problems.

Even Mal's friend Evie has closer style of looking like daughter of evil queen from snow white and being dignity than her and that is saying alot, even though she should've had more German look but that beside the point. Okay then, what about her father Hades she should at very least has some style of Greek even if something small or maybe she take after his personality of hot-headedness or stubbornness but no. and yes I understand its suppose to take place during modern times but when both Ever After High a show and doll line with similar premise God School, and monster high that had some Greek mythology characters in it both had better modern design and themes.

Speaking of Monster High and Ever After High what did do with the Disney descendant dolls? why do that its okay to just half ass and disrespect the characters like that. Uma doll doesn't even have braids where is the attempt all they need to do is use thin yarn or steam the hair to give that to be able to braid yeah it would take long but literally have robots and employees that could do it if so hard. Secondly Sin is where is even is male dolls, like i see one big pack of Carlos and Jay with girls and a couple pack of Mal and Ben but no Harry or Girl no Chad or Doug.

I can understand no one liking Chad because he annoying and don't know how Cinderella can produce that as her child but no Doug even though in the movie both him and Evie are couple they could've couple pack of them. is it because they not most best looking couple?

To be clear there nothing wrong in being conceited and enjoy some character for artificial reason whether that be clothes, design, skin color, race, gender, face appearance, etc. Or in general enjoy broken or bad characters or enjoying blank characters to put yourself into. But to gate others opinions or say that much more to it when it isn't or fight others just because they enjoy Uma compared to Mal is wrong. And if someone honestly without get mad or upset for having my own opinion and can get into a calm discussion and truly tell me why they enjoy Mal without it being what I just stated and could convince me then good, but until I get good evidence that Mal is good character without needing redo then I'm supposed im stuck with this opinion.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

let's do a classic Primez ask

thank you lol Prime Time is.....6 am is when im posting this, christ lol what else is new around here........Good Morning in advance lol and [rise and shine sailors it be monday]

2: Favorite book?

i don’t have one lol

3: Favorite fictional character?

i also don’t Properly have like, all-time ultimate Faves in these kind of categories either, but there’s still standouts at least lol......obviously lately it might show that i’m enjoying winston billions a lot, and natch that’s just One of the many wrol roles i’ve been glad to discover. natch winston, jared, and jeremy are fave raves amonth them

5: What’s your favorite fictional ship? (Canon or otherwise)

this is the same as the [fave fictional characters] thing in that like, sometimes i’ll Consume something where i don’t have any, and generally i’m out here multishipping and not like live or die by one Specific Pairing, if i like a character i’ll also probably like Many of their dynamic/s with various other characters, unless the options are That limited.......tying this in to the fave fictional character thing, re: winston, naturally tayston and benston, aka the fruits of us all combining our Genius, are top tier and here’s riawin where we don’t know for sure where it’s going but we’re getting some great Dynamic(tm) stuff anyways.....and natch re: jared i Enjoy Kleinsen (as something to make up ideas about that are outside canon and also as a perspective thru which to analyze canon) and re: jeremy.....stagedorks is beautiful, wild to have canon just give you some content that’s already as good as that

7: List 3 negative traits you have 

well i can be fairly anxious about certain things, which is mostly negative for me lol.........a more negative 2-way street is that i’m just generally in defensive mode around people lol, often i’m like, just trying to avoid Attention entirely and/or like uh oh attention, gotta try to just avoid taking damage from it lol.......on a gradual journey to just being default More Unpleasant / less accommodating lmao......not that i can’t be sometimes, or that i can’t be Genuinely Friendly with randos coz i like their vibe and actually Like socializing lol.........and then re: the challenges of socializing, it seems like maybe when i’m in an interaction i get caught up in [uh oh how do i Respond a) at all b) in a way that’s Good(tm)] and it maybe makes me less attentive to the other person / a worse Listener smh

11: How do you decide when it’s time to cut someone out of your life for good?

idk luckily it’s not something i’ve had to do left and right lol.......but ime it’s Also not exactly like. usually a “ah Now Is The Time to have zero relationship with this person” and most often it’s like [gradual distancing period that is mostly passive] and/or just choosing Not to reinitiate any sort of relationship........though re: more active approaches lol it’s more like. time to try to tune into my [does this feel like something indefinitely sustainable / something you actually Want to have continue in any way] gauge or whatevs. and then still it’s like, sometimes easier if moments happen to come along that provide an [opt out?] choice presented to you kinda lol.........if it’s someone You don’t want to be involved with really but they don’t feel the same and it’s “on you” to decide to peace out at some point it’s more difficult coz such [do you want to opt out]-distilled Moments probably don’t seem to manifest but i think that’s a useful thing to be aware of in itself........i.e. that there’s not always going to be a Narrative-Friendly “point of no return” / clear Line Being Crossed and even if it Doesn’t feel like “i can’t / don’t want to deal with this for Literally one more day” that doesn’t mean you should totally stick it out / don’t have enough reason to decide that you are Done at this particular moment even if you haven’t been Done prior or think you plausibly hold off on it. don’t need to have some kind of story where you think if you Explained it to anyone or everyone it’d universally be understood and everything would applaud like “Yes, the Right Decision” lmao like. not their business....

13: What are your favorite lyrics currently?

well with our groupchat in the replies to that Eternally Crying Over The Bar Song post..........just enjoy the “stay here for a while / cuz it’s nice / cuz it’s holy” part of the refrain, a fun part of the music, and that classic iconis like, lyrics being in a sort of character Voice and yet getting the idea / feelings across effectively even when the words are sort of general or simple.......”shooting from the heart / but we’re all a lousy shot” is great lol and also “say you will always be here” ending with “for one more” is like, there’s another Broader Idea / Sentiment expressed so effectively :’|

17: If you could make a wish, what would you wish for if you knew it would come true?

i can’t do any fun answers lmao it’d just be like [political commentary] but that’s warranted lbr

19: How do you handle heartbreak? Is it something that’s easy for you to get over, or something you struggle with?

lmao i think it is like By Definition not easy for anyone to get over / Not struggle with.........can’t say i’ve had Romantic Misadventures exactly but uh yeah it feels bad to feel bad but i like......wait it out???? idk lmao you can’t really just timeskip past.....Heartbreak Sucks For Everyone Cuz That’s Kind Of The Whole Thing

23: What do you want your future to be like?

pandemic-less, fascism-less........i can’t say i’ve ever been someone like “yea i Know what i want to do and have this whole plan set out how i’m gonna do it lol” i remember when i was like 4 or 5 or whatever being asked What Do You Want To Do When You Grow Up and i was like “shit idk.......i like dinosaurs so i guess paleontologist??” and it was as much a mystery going forward.........always and still mostly playing things by ear with a few vague “if / then” type ideas......aren’t we all though ig

29: Do you think zodiac signs can influence someone’s personality to an extent?

what do i know but i Don’t like or respect the recent years trend ppl being way into it like this isn’t [being really serious about hogwarts houses] or Earnest Myer Briggs Types energy that everyone’s bringing to it......like what are you getting out of trying to be this Prescriptive based on when ppl’s parents got into it. meanwhile i’ve been on the edge of my seat since someone tweeted about “when will we get the first astrology discrimination lawsuit” re: a story about ppl wanting a housemate with a certain sign for compatibility reasons. and like again if it Is like “yes there are time-of-year Personality Types for Objective Real” like. okay, still, what is this Approach that ppl have....doing for anyone.....

31: What does ‘self care’ look like for you?

not very fancy lol i’ll be like “damn i think i haven’t eaten today” and then do it......or be like hey here i’m gonna Do A Stretch or some shit. walk around. step outside if it’s nice. both true that Self Care has inherent limitations re: like we can’t just cancel out all the detriments to our wellbeing via Personal Choices and yet also we can’t Not look out for ourselves how we can......i’ll watch something that i Enjoy. or just knock out if it’s like “christ i need a mood reset” or i’m trying to timeskip through a headache. pet a cat. i like to try to be Appreciative of everyday ordinary shit......also messing around Making Stuff whether drawings or otherwise can be a good helpful use of time, i like talking to people who i like talking to, and other stunning stuff like that lol

37: Have you ever been surprised by someone staying in your life?

not really lol coz again with how i’m pretty slow to realize that someone is like, nonzero actively interested in interacting with me on a regular basis, and then once someone’s In My Life there’s no particular point where i go “whoa....You’re still here??”......ig sometimes there’s like, Friendly Acquaintances where it’d be Unsurprising if they just sort of dropped fully out of the orbit but they do not

41: How do you show you care?

hmm i sure like to do ppl favors / give them gifts / help them out w/ whatever, hang out / generally be Around them where like, doing [parallel tasks] works i.e. maybe we’re doing different things but in the same room.....just like to Talk and all and listen to ppl and Learn Things About Them, try to pick up stuff re: ways that ppl express like “hey to me it conveys Being Cared About when ppl do ___”........food/cooking is a love language......that thing where shit you’d be way too anxious to do on your own For Yourself is like, oh i’m absolutely gonna do it on behalf of someone i care about.......all this stuff is more like, Possible in person lmao rip. i Care you guys

43: Which of the seven deadly sins do you feel represents you the most?

who is your hellsona and what is their origin story (how they got condemned to hell).........if i’m irritable / argumentative am i wrathful? you could presumably someone saying yep it is inherently the one deadly sin of lust if you’re queer.......at any given time i’m passed out and dreaming about “fuck capitalism and the protestant work ethic” and that’s sloth i guess. and okay i went “who named an animal after a The Deadly Sin as if it’s like ‘wow fuck this animal for choosing not to zoom around as though they could and i apparently think that they should’ tf” and in looking it up i immediately learned the Sloth Fact that apparently their shits are insane and also the most dangerous thing they do?? like they poop only maybe once a week and All At Once so that a single dump might knock off a third of their total weight........and it’s pretty much the only time they leave the upper branches of trees, in that they crawl down to hold on to the trunk and take this monster shit and naturally they’re not great on the ground so Pooping is like the leading cause of death for sloths in the wild. and i think they ought to be named after that. 

47: What are you passionate about?

oh man [i am passionate a lot.mp3] lol.........always having a variety of Interestes which i like to talk about / potentially make things about.......decent amount of subjects i like to learn things about even if  i’m bad at like, actually learning things generally lmao, what’s Not losing focus on shit.......idk it’s not that hard for me to like go off about Whatever, got these jack of all trades interests / areas of Some knowledge, i’m opinionated and probably have something (extensive) to say about anything as just part of my charm lol, and just in general i can get Enthused / worked up about things..........also passionate about various [niche gay shit] things eternally. whoms among us isn’t

[meltypes-blog]

sakura seeds

[because the shared post looks weird as hell on desktop im putting the story in text post format] ao3 link

Hanzo Shimada hated himself.

That much was obvious.

He hated himself as he trained, the muscles on his arms and back straining until they cascaded tears of sweat, until his entire body burned and ached for rest. He hated himself while he ate, the simple pleasure of sweet and savory foods on his tongue only serving as a reminder of one other thing he had deprived his own kin from. He hated himself while he mediated, as if he could fool his brain into thinking that peace and quiet could erase the tumult in his mind and smooth over the jagged errors of his past.

His self hatred was apparent even on his countenance, his “RBF” as Genji had called it. Hanzo’s disgust for himself was soul deep, a seed that had planted itself in his heart since the first day his father had instructed him to murder in cold blood (“the master of the clan must protect the clan”) and had dug its claws deep the minute his blade had grazed Genji’s skin. His entire life was a culmination of all the wrong choices one could make, and it turned him into a bitter being, one that only survived out of the reasoning that even death was too honorable for him at that point.

His existence was unforgivable.

“You know I forgive you, Hanzo.” The brothers were seated on one of the many outlooks at the watchpoint staring at the sky, the sunset reflecting off of the younger, and irritating the older.

Hanzo only hummed in response. They were supposed to be meditating in silence, as per Hanzo’s request.

“I know why you come here.”

Hanzo exhaled through his nose and opened his eyes to glance at his brother. “To meditate, Genji. Shizukani.”

“No.” Genji turned to face him. “You come here in order to make yourself feel guilty. I know you, brother. You used to do it to me all the time when I went to the arcade. You would stare at me until I felt shame.”

Hanzo’s fists clenched on his knees. “How could you possibly know what I am doing or thinking? I have changed.”

“I know, because I am doing it as well,” Genji said softly. “Back then- I could have been more compliant, I could have helped you but I did not. I was young and stupid, and did not realize the gravity of my decisions, but I understand now. My actions were dishonorable. It was shameful of me-“

Hanzo stood up and turned on his brother, furious. “Do not. Speak to me of dishonor and shame.”

He walked a short distance then glanced back at his brother.

“Not until you have killed me for yourself.”

Later that evening, Hanzo messaged Genji that should he need to meditate, Zenyatta would most likely be available.

That had been the end of the their sessions.

He had been a fool to believe his brother could reconcile with him.

Genji still visited him, as Hanzo holed himself up in his room instead of socializing with the rest of the team- but that only ended in loud arguments.

“It has been weeks, Hanzo,” Genji stated exasperated, outside of his door. “How are they to know you if you do not allow them?”

“I am fine by myself,” Hanzo said.

“This is not healthy, Hanzo.”

Hanzo sighed. “I am perfectly healthy Genji.”

Genji threw his hands out. “You look like shit! You’re depressed and-“

Hanzo bristled, hand already reaching for his door. “Thank you for your concern, brother. Good bye.”

“Hanzo-!”

The door slid shut on the cyborgs face and Hanzo inhaled, exhaled, inhaled once more and breathed out.

Not healthy? Hanzo looked about his room. Healthy people had clean rooms, and his was pristine.

His closet held his various kyudo-gis, color coded. Organized. His small kitchenette held a shining kettle, small teacups and no dirty dishes. Clean. His bed was always made, not a pillow out of place, his furniture never covered in clothes and out of the way as always, orderly. His room looked brand-new, completely spartan. Nothing was worn down. Nothing was old or used or broken. It was clean. Healthy. It was as if no one had ever stepped foot in it before. As if no one lived in it at all.

Despite Hanzo’s fervor to abstain from socializing, that did not stop the others from coming up to him. Hanzo was out of his room to fill up his water container in the main kitchen, when one of the younger members had come up to him. They popped their gum in the awkward silence until-

“So...what’s your deal?”

Hanzo glanced at her confusedly, then turned back to his jug. If he remained silent, it was sure to deter her.

“Like- me and Lucio wanted to know since you’re like the base cryptid. We never see you until team simulations, and even then you’re only on defense so...you’re actually really good with a bow and arrow. Hey, can I call you Legolas?”

“What?” Hanzo blurted.

She smiled. “Y’know, that old fantasy series, he’s a meme because of those short guys and elf eyes and stuff.”

Hanzo felt himself soften. She was very similar to a younger man he once knew, one with green hair and bright eyes. “I believe they’re called Hobbits.”

“Hah! So you are a nerd! Lucio didn’t think so, but you look like someone who plays Pokémon. Actually, now that I think about it, you’ve got the whole samurai vibe going on too. Have you ever used a sword before?”

Hanzo mumbled no, then hastily escaped with a half empty jug.

Hana stood in the kitchen alone, a frown etched on her face.

The only other person that Hanzo conversed with aside from Genji was Dr. Zeigler- although, even then, that was less than desirable. He grabbed his sleeping pills and sighed when he realized the bottle was empty. Genji had annoyingly told the doctor not to give him more than a few days prescriptions at a time- not to deny that Hanzo had never thought of going out that way, but considering the fact that he was surrounded by those who risked their lives on the daily, it was extremely dishonorable.

Hanzo entered her office and she gave a strained smile, and he nodded in kind- the routine.

“Shimada-san, how can I help you?”

“I require another prescription, if you will,” he said placing the canister on her desk, making sure not to touch her. The first time she flinched when their hands touched had hurt him more than he was willing to admit.

“Of course.” She turned to grab a new prescription, placed it on the desk- but held and didn’t let go. “You know...Genji is concerned about you.”

Hanzo grunted in response, refusing to look at her.

“He says that you’re not...coping very well. From what he describes, it sounds as if you have depression, PTSD, perhaps even social anxiety-“

“Thank you, Doctor Zeigler, for the free consultation,” he interrupted coldly, looking at her with narrowed eyes. “But I am perfectly fine and would like to take my leave.”

Another strained smile, and she released the bottle. “Do come again, Shimada-san.”

And thus was Hanzo’s routine for months. The self-loathing, arguing with Genji, awkward and often tense food and water runs, picking up pills from the doctor. It went on for two months until-

“Howdy there.”

The cowboy had found Hanzo on his perch on the skywalk. He had come there to drink in peace after his fifteenth quarrel with Genji in two months.

Hanzo hummed.

McCree took a seat next to him and brought out his own flask. They drank in silence, the night air cold on Hanzo’s exposed skin. He was far too inebriated to be bothered by the gunslingers presence, and found himself actually drawn to his warmth.

Hanzo respected the American, despite his bluntness and overall...loud demeanor. He was a good shot, perhaps one to rival Hanzo, and he was tactically intelligent. More than once had the cowboy saved the team from dying due to his quick thinking and precise aiming.

More-so, he never approached Hanzo unwanted. He seemed to recognize when Hanzo was welcoming of a short conversation and when he was on the verge of seething rage.

An intelligent man. Warm. Hanzo subconsciously leant towards him, the alcohol getting the better of him.

“D’yknow the Deadlock gang?”

Hanzo grunted. “I am a former yakuza. What do you think?”

McCree chuckled. “Alright, alright. I may not look like it, but- I was their best asset. They used to call me,’The Undertaker.’”

“That does not surprise me. You are greatly skilled and smart.”

“O-oh. Well...” McCree coughed. “Anyways...I used to be real close to one of the members- his name was Jackie. J and J they used to call us, cause we were practically inseparable. Jackie was like my brother. I loved him.”

Hanzo turned to face McCree, slowly gaining an idea of where this was going. The gunslinger was looking down, fingers fiddling with his flask.

“Then I...I had to kill him. Turns out he was sellin’ information to Overwatch. Or maybe he was undercover. I don’t really remember. All I remember...”

McCree swallowed and he looked to Hanzo. “I remember feelin’ angry. Angry and sad and just- destroyed. And after he was gone all there was- there was nothing. I...felt empty.”

Hanzo’s heart seized. McCree looked away, pained.

“I kept askin’ myself, ‘how are you goin’ to go on now?’ I thought I was gone, gonna be empty forever. Then Overwatch found me and I decided that maybe I deserved a second chance. People believed in me. They saw me and saw hope.”

“Hope?” Hanzo murmured.

“Yeah,” McCree said, turning back to look Hanzo in the eye. “Hope that maybe even after a lifetime of all the wrong choices, one right choice can set you on the good path.”

Hanzo stared at him breathless. McCree’s eyes glinted in the moonlight, and then he noticed how close they were- their shoulders and thighs touching. Hanzo leant back, still transfixed on his bright eyes.

“Hope,” he repeated.

McCree nodded. He looked up at the stars and breathed deeply. “Come train with me tomorrow, archer. Ya won’t regret it.”

There started the deviation in Hanzo’s routine. For five mornings a week, the archer and sharpshooter trained together. They conversed about little things, favorite foods and drinks, then playfully argued when one named something that was distasteful to the other.

Hanzo’s self deprecating thoughts began to move away to make room for newer thoughts- one involving a tall man, red and flannel, bright brown eyes and a crooked smile.

Hanzo’s first real smile came during an intense training session. Both men were sweating profusely, challenging each other to see who could lift more. Of course, Hanzo prevailed- and Jesse cracked a joke at his own expense.

“Damn,” he breathed. “I’m pretty sure you could arm wrestle with Orisa and win with those beasts. Me? Can’t even lift Torb a couple of inches off the ground.”

His first real laugh had shown up during a team lunch. Hanzo had taken a seat by McCree and Genji, as he usually did, and said his thanks for the meal. Jesse pointed curiously at his food.

“‘S That wasabi?”

“Yes, it is.”

McCree snorted. “Weak shit. My hot sauce does more damage than that.”

“Is that so?” Hanzo raised a brow and gestured to his plate. “Why don’t you try some. You just need a small portion to see-“

“Don’t mind if I do,” McCree interrupted, spooning the entire portion into his mouth to Hanzo’s horror.

Genji winced from across the table and got up to get a glass of water. When he came back, he saw McCree red in the face, coughing, and Hanzo doubled over in laughter. The entire room laughed softly at the ridiculousness of the situation, and Genji felt a surge of happiness.

The first time Hanzo held hands with McCree was in their usual drinking spot on the skywalk. McCree had been blathering on about some old western movie when Hanzo moved his hand to cover the gunslingers.

McCree stopped talking immediately and looked down at their hands. Hanzo felt a surge of shame and slowly drew his hand away.

“I did not mean to-“

McCree gripped his hand before it could go any further, and gave him a bright smile.

“It ain’t no thing, darlin’.”

It was also the first time McCree had called him that.

Hanzo had opened up more. He did not feel so alone after meeting Jesse, no longer so isolated.

He began meditating with Genji again.

“You seem well, brother.”

Hanzo smiled softly. “Yes, I am.”

“It is because of McCree, is it not?”

“Partially,” he said. “I have come to realize that...one right choice can set me on the path of good. People believe in me. It would be a great dishonor to prove them wrong.” Genji lunged at him, hugging him close, and Hanzo was proud that he was able to hold in most of his tears.

Hana attacked him in the rec room a while later. “Yo, Samurai Legolas!”

He grunted not looking up, engrossed in an article written by Joel Morricone. “Do not bother me, Usagi. I am busy.”

It was quiet for a moment. Then-

“Did you just- what did you call me?”

“Usagi. It is the name of a popular anime heroine and also means rabbit. It is my nickname for you, since you seem adamant about mine. Trust me when I say it is an honorable one. Usagi was a powerful warrior, and also the cutest.” When he did not get a response, he looked up.

Hana was staring at him with wet eyes, and a huge smile. “I want to change mine for you.”

Hana now called him Big Bro every chance she got. When Hanzo turned in his sleeping pills, Doctor Zeigler looked at him in surprise.

“Are you sure, Shimada-san? You’re-“

“Perfectly healthy, Doctor Zeigler. And please, call me Hanzo.” He turned away from her, ears growing heated. “I have not needed them for...a while now.”

Angela’s eyes widened. “Oh! Oh, well,” she giggled,” alright then, Hanzo. Do come back again.”

“You believed in me.”

He and McCree were standing together in Hanzo’s room soaked, the rain pushing them from their usual spot.

McCree looked at him, and Hanzo’s heart stuttered. “I did. I used to be like you, back when I first joined so I understood. I still believe in you.”

Hanzo tentatively walked closer to him. “You had hope for me.”

McCree visibly swallowed and took his hat off, running his hand through his hair. “Yes. I still hope yo- still have hope for you, that is.”

Hanzo took a couple of more steps. “Why?”

McCree looked away. “I know a lost soul when I see one, s’all. Everyone deserves a second chance at redemption.”

They were nearly chest to chest now, and Hanzo had to strain his neck to look into his eyes. “You gave me hope. You have helped me to be better, and I...thank you, Jesse.”

Hanzo rested his head on McCree’s chest and Jesse’s arms came around him almost immediately, engulfing him in warmth despite their wet clothes. Jesse rested his chin on the archer’s head, and Hanzo nuzzled into his chest, face flaming and heart pounding.

“It ain’t no thing darlin’.”

Finally, after months of dancing, tripping and falling, McCree held Hanzo’s hands in his and grinned shyly.

“I really like you, darlin.’ Hope ya don’t mind that.”

Hanzo laughed and pulled McCree towards him. “I would hope that you do cowboy, considering we share the same bed.”

“I reckon people who like each other ought to kiss then, right?”

Hanzo’s face warmed and he leant up into Jesse’s space. “I believe that is how they express that, yes.”

McCree smiled and pressed his lips onto Hanzo’s, soft and sweet, the pull slow and languid. Hanzo nibbled on his lip and the kiss deepened, Jesse’s hands moving to bring Hanzo’s hips closer to his.

They separated to catch their breath and Jesse moved to Hanzo’s jaw.

“Ya know any other way people express how much they like each other, darlin’?”

Hanzo gasped a laugh, and gripped McCree’s shoulders as he kissed his neck.

“I am aware of a few, yes.”

McCree chuckled and nosed at Hanzo’s cheek. “Only a few? I got some evidence on my back that states otherwise.”

“Are you looking for more?” Hanzo smirked.

Jesse shivered and put his head on Hanzo’s shoulder. “What is it that ya always say? ‘The wolf marks his prey?’”

Hanzo flushed and smacked his shoulder. “Do not tease me, Jesse.”

McCree laughed, smiled at him, then gripped Hanzo’s hands, dragging him to their room.

Later, when both men were sated, they laid wrapped around each other, kissing lazily.

“Jesse,” Hanzo whispered, kissing under his ear.

“Yea, darlin’?”

“I love you.”

McCree shifted, laying on his side, Hanzo tucked into his chest. He leant his head on his elbow and dragged a hand down his lovers body. Hanzo shivered.

“It ain’t no thing, darlin’.” Hanzo let out a noise of protest, smacking his chest indignantly, and McCree laughed, wrapping his arms around him. He kissed his face repeatedly until Hanzo’s mouth met his, moving with intent, slow and hot.

“I love you too, Hanzo.”

Hanzo Shimada hated himself. Not as much as he used to, but the self doubt still lingered, the hatred a shriveled seed still present in his heart.

However, when he was with Jesse McCree, Hanzo hated himself just a little less- and a new seed blossomed in his heart, one he believed in and one he had hoped for all his life.

[misslauwie]

If letter were really written for army...

Here is my respond to Jimin.

Hi Jiminshi,

Thank you for dropping FACE.

I just want to express my deepest gratitude.

I know that Im writing this in English and I apologize beforehand as English is not your mother tongue or first language. One of these days I swear I will sign up for a Korean language class.

However, I dont want to use google to translate what I want to say to you as it might get lost in translation.

In this letter to you, I would like to express my deepest gratitude to you for you just being you.

You have been a source of inspiration for me to become my better self (every day), warm blanket when I feel cold and lonely, bright moon in the star when I feel like my life is an endless long tunnel.

Seeing you grow as a person and as an artist, from the boy next door is so heart warming and again inspirational; truly cant find another word for it.

I find extreme comfort in the way you communicate with army. The way you deliver your message in such careful wordings and soft, warm undertone... Just gets my defense down every time.

I may not be the army who says "I hate myself" during one of your live... but some days when its really challenging for me to get out of bed... and when most relationships are based off profit and numbers - I hate myself. I hate myself for taking things too personally when people discounted me... and when I sometimes in return unintentionally treat others in the same way (conditional response).

But seeing you, watching you, with members, with fans, with staff, with peers... I really am inspired to be a good human like what you have always advocate... through your actions, your words and even your attire.

I love how you can be so unserious. You are always ready to laugh at yourself ... Following you, I suspect that this state of mind may also have been a journey filled with ups and down. But I think you have transform so beautifully that you can control your response to people with negative vibes without cutting them off. I tend to do the latter rather than the first as its quick, easy and painless. Love that in your laughter, you always stick to the highest standard for your work or should I say art. Work is too mundane of a word to describe what you put out to the world.

You are a role model to many. To the young, old, men, women, children...

I know this is a parasocial relationship and I should not depend on you to be my emotional crutch... As you have said to aforementioned army who hates him or herself : "Still, I wish you would not be so hard on yourself as you only have yourself" but its hard not to draw strength from you. Please let me draw strength from you until one day I can stand on my own.

So in return ... From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you for being you, thank your parents for bringing you to this world, thank God for making you such an inspiration and history maker that you leaves prints on my life; a much welcome one. Thank the BTS members for being such a good friend / family / support system so that you glow up to be the person you are now (the ingredients are already there tho'). Thank you for the album as well as it gives me strength nowadays to wake up and fight for another day. The story your songs are communicating or should I say the stories behind your album is so relatable even to ordinary fans like me.

These words may have been voice out by others... it may have been redundant... Its not poetic or a rhyme. but its my sincere, unfiltered appreciation for you as the best human I have known. I am not good at expressing my feelings or appreciation through a more meaningful channel like art but I hope these words reach you. So that you can also draw strength from armies if you are feeling down.

Borahae 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[tayegi]

maybe the reason jk doesnt wanna be w mc is bc he feels like he needs to improve himself before he can b w her

Anonymous said:I just suddenly want to reread all NR and keep an eye on Hyejin because if I thought Hoseok was shady before... Now I think she’s another mysterious character! And we also have the mystery woman of JK’s ex... Mmmmmh 🤔

Anonymous said:What if... JK’ex died... and he DOES have his own rules to survive

Anonymous said:I wonder how it'll be reading from Jungkook's perspective, like how is he interpreting the oc's actions and what goes on his mind when he's with her vs when he's with another girl

Anonymous said:Hi Lu! I've read NR so many times by now that I've lost count!!! I love this fic so much: the characters are so deep and there are no loose ends. I've read chap. 9 and 1 thing intrigued me more than the other parts: while on the date w/ OC, JK wouldn't stop falling on the ice and would be so bad at ice skating. But, when he was w/ Hyejin, he would catch her and skate well. Why??? I'm so confused right now!!! Kkkkk Will we be seeing a reason to this or am I just reading too much into it?

Anonymous said:Omg you blow me away with your writing. New Rules is so well thought out, you’re amazing! One thing that stood out to me though, OC is maybe blinded by some things? I know I can feel that way, especially when you’re on your journey of self discovery. It’s hard to pick up on things like how others feel around you and it distorts your perception of things because you can be so focused on yourself. Is this what is blocking JK’s past from OC? I feel like the hints are there but what are they 😩😂

Anonymous said:i don't feel bad for the OC at all because i'm really really curious about jungkook's ex girlfriend or whatever she was and what made him make the decision to don't do relationships and what's actually going on with him and hyejin like why the fuck did he took her for skating I HAVE A LOT OF QUESTION IN THE MOMENT anyway great chapter 🌼💚🤧😢💓😰❤️❣️💝❤️🤒💮💗😭💙🤕 as always

Anonymous said:Can I just say thank you for existing, you have created a wonderful masterpiece, I thought there was no way nr can get any better, but with every update you prove me wrong, and it's great I'm looking forward to jk's past, because I feel like everything will make much more sense whem we find out what happened between him and his ex, thank you lu!!! 💖💖💖

Anonymous said:hmm...why was jungkook so bad at skating with the OC but then hyejin was complimenting him? was he just pretending to be bad at it to stay physically close to the OC? HM

Anonymous said:Ahhh, I love new rules!!! I think I’ve been following you since... chapter 3? Probably before that too! JK from end of chp 9 is giving me confusing vibes from the JK that was upset that he didn’t bid on him but it might just be a whole ego thing about the bidding. But I’m also getting the vibe that he’s trying to backpedal on any types of feelings he might have that’s why he was cruel when he was rejecting her

Anonymous said:Maybe Im wrong but what if Jungkook all this time liked her as a friend. In Ch8, he blames Hoseok for stealing her away. What if it was more of a "why are you stealing my friend away". Considering that OC hasnt been spending much time with him and was close to Hoseok, he might've assumed he stole her away. NR JK seems like he doesn't have a huge group of friends so maybe he liked her as a friend. And people misunderstood it as romantic relationship. -nR (1/?)

Anonymous said:People associate fk buddies in a romantic way cause after some time usually people develop feelings but what if he truly just liked her as a friend and a person who he could hook up with. What if there was nothing romantic in the first place? People pushed the romance on OC so she just accepted it(?) Ill revisit the story as a whole when I have the time to reanalyse, this is purely my 1st impression. I hope I didnt go in a completely wrong direction. I tend to misunderstand things😅. -nR (2/2)

Anonymous said:I'm just sitting here wondering if the "she" from JK's past could possibly be someone who was really important in his life but not necessarily a romantic interest. IDK, I think once I listen to the podcast - which I intend to do! - I might get more hints. But I can't do that rn because I literally just spent the past 5 hours starting to read NR and then catching all the way up to the end of the 9th chapter and omg I need to sleep and think about this lol

Anonymous said:I wish people wouldn't attack jungkook or misinterpret him, he is what I wish all people that don't do relationship would be, he is clear, sincere, and has no fear of showing affection cause he knows that it won't change his mind or his position, while in reality actually get all defensive and I think I get why now, because if they show niceness then people automatically think they changed...I mean, it's ok to not do relationship and not be an asshole, actually it's amazing

Anonymous said:The fact that a lot of people can't believe that jungkook is a fuckboy in NR just because he treats he OC right and it's a good person confuses me,some may think he's being fake and all because he treats her right said he likes her BUT still have the same opinion about relationships that he had since the begining(that hr always made it clear btw), so what? People that the think the way he thinks necessarily need to be an asshole? They are attacking him while all the time he has bering sincere ++

Anonymous said:++ and clear like crystal about his intentions, the way people relate "i don't do relationship" = for sure an asshole, makes me think that maybe the reason why people that don't do relashionship feel the need in being an asshole, having 0 affection (which jungkook has for the OC and I think that's what's causing the confusion) cause if they do show affection, people automatically think they changed and if they show that no, they didn't change, they are accused of being fake and deciving others

Anonymous said:I honestly find Hobi to be more like Jin. While on the surface he seems empathetic and caring, the way he acts says differently. The way he acted toward Jin and OC in ch8 really turns me off. "I can't believe you dated him, what were you thinking?" It sounds like he's not so much upset with what Jin to her. It shows that deep down, her well being is not really high up on his list of concerns. He's greasy just like Jin. He's selfish just like Jin.

Anonymous said:My brain created tons of theories for jk past, and all of them are dumb as shit 😂Joon's 148 IQ would be so helpful right now! What if the oc makes jk remind, not about his ex, but about himself? I'm going for a path were my brain is telling that, perhaps, jk is not that innocent in the ex situation. Like u said, we just know things in the oc perspective, and we just know what jk let us now...I dunno nothing. Might be completly wrong 😂 Dont need to answer Lu, just wanted to vent a little 💖 ~BR

Anonymous said:I just had the thought of the OC going NOT JEALOUS OF HOSEOK HMMMMM? And, well, seeing how far she can push. Without breaking the whole exclusive thing with JK, I don't think she'd break that. But like she might try and see and how romantically involved she can get with Hoseok to see if JK says anything. But I could very well be off base with this, it's just a guess.

AHHHH i love all your theories and thoughts!!! this was so incredibly interesting to read through. and you guys are all asking the right questions!!! i am super excited for you guys to see what happens next chapter :D 

[considerdaydreaming]

Update

February 16th 2021.

First of all, I usually start with the time so it’s 22:18. Second, i still cannot beleive we are still in a pandemic.

It’s crazy because i looked back a bit and i saw about when I posted that it had been 46 days since the beginning of this mess and now it’s about to be a year since COVID hit in a couple weeks. I think we are trending in a good direction now because of the vaccine but it’s been a rollercoaster ride with good news one week then bad news the next, so I’m not holding my breath this time.

Anyways, back to the juicy stuff, of course your girl’s love life. I just wanted to take a moment to be honest with myself since it’s been a while since I took the time to sit down and really think about everything. So, here I go. Here is a real and true update from the oast year or so. Here is my story.

//// TW: SEXUAL ASSAULT ////

So I met this guy at my work that I REALLY was not interested in. I did not find him attractive and I was not emotionally available since my ex was a prick and he fucked me up big time. Anyways a colleague of mines had mentioned him to me a couple times but I had brushed it off because, once again, I was not interested. Anyways one day, another (different) colleague of mines and I were having a conversation and then he was on the other side of our cubicle and started asking us about our nationalities and we told him to guess and made a whole game about it. It was fun, not going to lie. So from there we started talking and we were just friends. This went on for a couple months or so until he started coming to see me everyday at my desk and I was like oh fuck oh no this guy is catching feels, you know? But i wasnt sure so i just continued to be chill because he was a chill guy but i just wasnt into relationships at that point in my life.

Anyways, the day rolls around where he finally asks me on a date and i was like nah fam im not down and i dont date my coworkers (BIG NO NO IN MY BOOK). So he was dissapointed but i knew he was not going to give up. But he was a chill guy so i didnt want to be a bitch to him just because i was broken. So I told him that i didnt know him well enough, which was true and maybe if i did then i would reconsider. So he really started putting more effort at that point, I think. I just remember seeing him more and more at work and i remember he used to put on so much perfume it would make me nauseous 😭😭😭 i was low key getting annoyed! But he was a nice guy and i didn’t get any creepy vibes from him and not gonna lie, there were a couple other guys that i was flirting with at the office and i kinda liked all of them for different reasons 😅 but i wasnt hiding anything from anyone and i was always honest so they low key knew what was up 😆 ANYWAYS i wasn’t shutting him down completely for some reason because there was just something about him that made me feel some type of way. You could say that I wanted to keep him in my arsenal 😂 anywho, i forgot what happened but i think one day i just said fuck it and i decided to accept his request to go on a date. The date itself went great and we talked a lot. We spoke about everything and nothing and we had a good time, even though we had a lot of differences, we also had the same point of view on a lot of things. At the end, i dropped him at the metro and tell me how this guy forced a kiss on me???? (That’s sexual assault no matter what you say, just to be clear) so after he kissed me he left and i was shook and i felt disgusted to be honest. I was shook because the date went so well up until that moment . Like that date wouldve been the best i had ever went on until that moment. I was devastated. Anyways I still did not cut him off, but I was very close. I think i was supposed to text him but i just didnt. I might’ve had another date that time as well or something, that period is a bit of a blur now. BUT i remember that i had to shake it off for some reason, so i did. The next time I saw him, i told him it was a no for me for all the reasons which were in the differences we had discussed and that he just didn’t fit the profile. I didn’t mention that what he did was very instrusive and assault because i didn’t want to have that conversation, it was just too much. So he was pretty defensive about that part and i figured he would just take the hit and move on. It took a while and then he finally did. We didnt speak for like 6 or 7 months and then we changed office locations and then on top of that, the pandemic hit so we were all sent to work from home and etc, etc. At some point, in Quebec, everything opened up a bit for the summer and so things were very briefly “back to normal” so we were allowed to return to the office on some days or some shit like that i dont remember .

We found ourselves in the office and we just so happened to cross paths again and he started to talk to me again and he told me to text him to continue the conversation because his break was done because he has been thinking about me and blah blah blah and i thought i had deleted his number, but it turns out i didnt but anyways the conversation we had following him thinking i deleted his number really made me laugh and it made me want to talk to him more. So Around may 2020 he reached out and we started to talk again and then he asked me out on a walk to talk some more. So i went and he was really adamant about finding out what went wrong between us because apparently this is something he was losing sleep over 😂 (now that i know him well enough i realize he is just dramatic 😂) so i told him what was up and how he sexually assaulted me by forcing himself on me by kissing me without my consent and when i tell you he was shook! We spoke about it some more and i explained to him how i felt and he explained to me how he felt and he apologized and when i saw his genuine regret, i knew that he was a good guy and i forgave him. He had a lot of explaining to do and a lot to do to make up for what he did. He did just that. We went on ther dates and spoke and got to know each other more and eventually we began dating.

Now that’s my boo bear and i know that this guy wouldn’t hurt a fly, he just daydreams a lot and sometimes he creates scenarios in his head that are not at all what reality is (pisces rising) 😂 a sensitive dreamer, although he will never admit it!

Anyways all this story to say that I really fell in love with this guy and im shooketh. Like I’m picturing spending the rest of my life with with and im seeing myself marrying him and having his kids????? After 7 months?????!!! Like that’s wild! Is it because of the saviour conplex? I dont know but he’s special that’s for sure. I’ve never been loved the way he loves me and I’ve never been treated the way he treats me. I never have to ask for something twice. Even if he doesn’t want to do it, he will do it for me. He deals with my moodiness and puts me in my place when I’m being disrespectful. He isn’t afraid to tell me like it is and tell me when im wrong. Like he is really everything i wanted. I think i can trust him but im still recovering and working on that and he knows and doesn’t judge me or rush me. He is just always there, like my anchor, like my home base. He gives me the time and space i need and he is always there when i need him close. Always waiting and always trying to understand me rather than attack or criticize me. I love him, i love him, i love him. Sometimes, i wonder if i really deserve this type of love. Sometimes when i say things i don’t mean, he hugs me and gives me love instead of raising his hand or yelling or breaking things, which i realize , i had normalized in past relationships. The way he loves me is pure and genuine and i feel so comfortable around him, as if I knew him in another life. I was really broken when i met him and i honestly feel like he found some of the pieces that i was missing and helped me glue them back together. I really thought i had lost those pieces for good but they just needed to be found again by anither pair of eyes. Dont get it twisted though, i did most of the picking up and gluing but the found some really important pieces, not gonna lie.

All this to say that i healed, I thought about myself and got to know myself then i found a true and genuine love that is so different from what i have ever experienced and im here for it. I dont know what else is to come, but maybe the next time I write, i might just be wife 😌

Until next time,

Jo

[bizzaro-stormy-blog]

Like, Questions and Stuff?

eeeeeee i dont think ive ever been tagged in one of these so thanks @latenightgaymer you are the bees knees!!

Where do you currently live? 

portland oregon

Where would you prefer to live if given the option, and why?

oregon is my home, i used to have a dream of moving back to seattle and buying back the house my grandfather built but the city has changed and so have i.

 the weather is usually perfect here (we have had waaaaay too much sun lately) theres green literally everywhere and it feels alive. 

i have always thought about alaska for the same reasons + snow

Shoe size?

14 us its hard to find cheap and nice shoes in my size

Is there a movie/book/show/game you’re looking forward to? What about it has you most excited?

i really want to borrow the scarlet gospels from my friend i know its not a new book but i want to read it super bad, also comic books from another friend (too many to list honestly but Trees, Wytches and the wicked + the Divine are at the front) id also like to read a physical copy of kill six billion demons when i can afford it.

 im super excited for the second seasons of westworld, legion and american gods aswell as the next seasons of Killjoys, the magicians, archer, my hero acadamia, steven universe, shameless, van helsing, its always sunny, RPDR and like all of the netflix shows, im also looking forward to the rest of the seasons of the good place, the orville and the mick...i might watch too much tv. 

im super excited for the .hack gu remaster, the last of us 2, shadow of the colossus remaster, cyberpunk 2077 and bloodborne 2 as unlikely as it is (miyazaki grant us a sequel as you once did for vacuous darksouls)

Wine, or hard liquor?  What is one of your preferred drinks?

i dont drink, thats not to say i havent just that it took soo much for me to feel even a tiny bit light headed im pretty sure i cant get drunk and dont see the point. im a water man and on the occasions i have soda dr pepper and root beer are king, if not lemonade i guess

Physical touch, do you enjoy it?  What’s your favorite spot, what spot do you not want to be touched?

im a bit weird here, i tend to recoil and flinch if im touched (probably a result of growing up with an older brother who used his size to be physically controling and abusive aswell as various other people in my life who have treated me as a punching bag) especially around my chest i tend to curl up and get defensive (again probably the result of an older sister who thinks twisting my nipples so hard they bleed is an apropriate answer to a disagreement).

on the other hand i am very physically affectionate i love to hug people, touch people, hold people, bite people (not in the sexy nibble way so much as the "bro did you just fucking bite me?!" way) anything really if im around other physically affectionate people which is kinda rare as there are like 2 physically affectionate people in my life and i only see one on a regular basis

Go into your YouTube history and provide the link to the 7th video in the list.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbq01mubZqc

though i had to open a video to get to my history so i guess its technically

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnq3VBQu_kI

What was the last song you listened to?

This Song By RAC ft Rostam

Do you have any thoughts on ‪Nick Jonas‬?

Who?

Water or silicone based?

well gee im a water based life form myself but id be interested in meeting a silicone based life form :p

The most illicit controlled substance you’ve partaken in?

does doctor prescribed Vicodin count?

If you could get your friends/family to watch one specific gay movie, which one would it be?

i would have to say closet monster though i think of that less as a specifically gay movie and more as a delve into the stress and pressure of someone transitioning into adulthood coming from a broken, dysfunctional and traumatic childhood, its honestly such a great movie.

 now a movie where the plot is specifically gay? the weekend, its simple sweet and is easily relatable for most people, honestly i love this movie because it doesn't over dramatize a relationship and makes the characters feel real,

orientation aside its just a good human story

Do you listen to podcasts?  If so do you listen to them while you’re doing something else?

not often its almost always a one off or the savagelovecast, i used to listen to professor blastoff regularly but stopped for some reason, usually im reading or writing and want something not as easy to zone out to as music and not as distracting as silence

What do you do on a Sunday?

not much save check for manga (i know im a neeerd) or webtoon updates which usually ends with me frustratedly remembering Tower Of God updates on Mondays

Birth sign and zodiac?  What do you like most about both, what do you like least.  If you could pick which would you prefer?

ok so in advanced astrology is not much more than a novelty for me and i generally believe signs and what not to hold no sway over real life, i do find it interesting how they can sometimes get portions of peoples personalities and lives right but i would rather attribute that to the trillions of factors that went into the conception and birth of a person before the position of far away stellar bodies (ie babies born 9 months after valentines day probably have romantic parents so they themselves are romantics? idk dude).

that said i am a Taurus and my zodiac sign is the dragon i love them and would never change them, while i dont believe they hold any greater meaning to me i do feel the bull and the dragon represent me more as symbols of myself, though strangely i cant seem to escape them (along with crows and bears...idk dude my conscious and unconscious worlds are strange).

In front of my salad?

Bitch if you would stop breaking into my house to eat your salads you wouldn't be seeing anything you dont want to.

Last book or comic you enjoyed?

uuh physical book? shiiiiit its been a minute but it was ether a david sedaris book or a reread of the water mirror series. 

comic books? old man logan was amazing and i always reread Dango Sunshine occasionally. 

if webcomics count then kill six billion demons, a better place, avas demon, paranatural, gunnerkrigg court, cassiopeia quinn, unsounded,  gloomverse, mokepon and i just reread both Vibe and JUNE (if you havent read any of these please check them out they are amazing)

A kink or fetish you have,  can you explain how it became one for you?

uhmmm i dont know dude im pretty vanilla i dont have allot (read any) experience so im pretty open to trying anything really, i dont know dude even if im outwardly an asshole sometimes when it comes down to it so long as you arent forcing yourself upon someone or something unable (unaware, underdeveloped or unable to fully understand what it means) to give consent im open to you and will atleast try to understand you and your kink and maybe participate with you if thats your goal....

....ok so i might have one fetish? tattoos are hot af that is all...

Supply the link to either an image or video you think will bring a chuckle to those following you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0c29Cu_8bQ

imma just tag yous guys cause you are the collective best

@sbot12 @bonefireheart9 @that1cameraguy @incredible91 @dammitcat @mapcus

[astraltraveller]

not an end to all the endings.

so i guess the last time i made a post about this, it was late aug ish. early sept maybe. i remember being crushed after. i remember feeling used because rarely does a guy want to have sex with me and not want to date or try someting. especially when the guy seems like a good guy. and i remember so fondly of the hope that surged the night of. when i got that apology msg and actually felt like maybe there was something there. my heart lept. it surged. it was a rushing and hopeful feeling, the feeling I had rarely exdperieneced from my history of being with someone who didn’t nkow hwo to appreciate me or apologize for their mistakes. itw as such a breath of fresh air and deep down inside i had a feeling that he was going to do a 180. i din’t think he would ask me out to date me, but i knew it would be at least asking for a second chance. and a second chance it was. i remember not expecting to go to a nice place at all. i remember walking agood 15 min to a nice, hipster, refreshing, new start place. I wanted to say that iwanted to go back ot that time but i dont know if i really do. I dont know if anything will change.i rmember tryign ot put off the conversation because i knew what was coming and my heart was saying this is it and my head was saying this is too good to be true. And i had just finished being hurt, i didn’t think there would be a second call. I just didn’t want to deal. When it finally poured out what was really up, intnerally i was jumping for joy because it was even better than waking up from a bad dream. It was as if you turned back time and could change it all. Coming out of a bad dream means just that. It doesnèt affect what actually hpapens. Fror me on that day, something actually changed. Iwas happy. I was grateful. I never felt that way before about a guy being so forward with an apology. it felt so nice. it felt so mature. for a while i believed this was something different. it was like a fresh start. I felt hopeful, I felt liked. I felt like someone made a mistake and was trying to get me back. it was like with soumil but … more raw. without such a big long mistake. it was a short pinch, an injection with an old school vaccine. rough and hard but it’s so fast it really barely has time to make a lasting impression. it doesn’t leave longing. it leaves soreness that feels good, that feels like life experience.it was thrilling. i remember it was suhc a heart to heart. i was quite happy in that moment ot hear, even indirectly, that this person had in fact not meant what they said, that they actually would consider dating me, and that they made a grievous mistake, grievous enough to backtrack and fix it right away. to swallow one’s pride.

I did find it strange shortly after that there was some distance. there was chatting, but i recall it as not quite on the same wavelength. they didn’t show up often. it wasn’t reliable. i would later find out that it was a tooth infection, being sick, and being busy.

bad liars always lie.

I believed him though. i believed it because those things happened. i lamented to amit about it. hwo annoyed i was. how at the coffee shop he had suggested going for lunches and then going to drinks. (never dinner, oddly). to which i always said yes. was always thrilled. was on the defense and never offered first because i had jsut been hurt and was cautious. even initiating of messages was liek that. i was playing this weird game wherei would avoid talking last because i noticed he would always type a message after. i woud also rarely initiate, a what’s up, etc. pictures became less frequent.

a side note. i will talk about this more later but i actually spent most of my train ride today pondering why things ahd changed. wondered if is houd say something. not sure waht to say, so i scrollled through all the messages from the beginning. realize that he talked on an almost daily basis. lots of talking points. long messages. lots of pictures. i don’t know where that went. if anything, wouldn’t your interest be piqued and you feel more comfortale sending them later?  iremember when i went to visit mill in canaidan thanksgiving. i remember awaiting messages. i even played the mute game because i ddint want to know. evenutally i got a reply ot a picture i sent pretty promptly but i didnt ralize til a day later. i was internally a little devastated because i remember that during my interview trip, he had messaged a lot, not only to check in on how i was, but also to send pictures. liek the blender bottle. and stuff from the cottage. and i don’t know why i epxected that to happen again. but even by then things had changed. this was after the coffee. i was thinking to myself, what did i do wrong? where is this clarity? i knew deep down my gut instinct to message him and send one of the few tumblr drafts i had just didn’t come off right. it evolved from

I don’t want to be saying this because you don’t owe me an explanation, but I think it should be noted that the way you’ve been treating me has really been

I didn’t want to say this, but I think it needs to be said because it’s just straight up not respectful.

did i say something wrong? I feel you’ve been quite shunning lately and I’d appreciate if you were more straightforward. i feel really confuse and it’s making me a little uncomfortable

did I say something wrong? I feel shunned and it’s confusing

it doesn’t feel straightforward

did i say or do something wrong? based on how conversational you’ve been, I don’t think I need to tell you why I’m asking

did I say or do something wrong?

I was looking relaly intnetly at the messages to see when mine had been seen. i knew something was up when i looked and saw that he was active and just didn’t view it. and then he saw it, almost an hour later. and that was 10 min after i opened to check. my heart sank. i messed up didn’t I? I said that I do’nt like excuses. but it was prefaced by omething he brought up. and i didn’t talk about his exucses lately. but what i really wanted to say was, care to explain? the day after the hotel, you saw i sent snapchats but didn’t open them for hours. finally oepened it to send a message. nice, but short. a couple of smileys. i then sent a text reply. unread for 4 hours but was active on fb. then i sent a video which got seen quickly. then a reply iwthin 10 min. then i knew by then that the shunning was on so i decided not to engage fully. no smileys, short. no furahter conversation.

with each iteration, I projected less and less blame. partially becuase it sounded caustic. partially because i didn’t think itw asrigiht. mainly because he’s leaving to the new office probably by next week. did i want to leave my last imrpession, with no smeblance of possibly hanging out, as an awkward, hanging-in-the-air immaturity, act of pointing fingers, blamingand blaming, the same way as i had done shortly after the coffee confession (when I said i went too easy on him) and after I scalded him for being a flake? was that the impressi on ireally wanted to leave? any possibility of spending time would be nill. and we’d never see each other by necessity.

i didn’t want to take a shower and give it a thoguht. i wanted to press enter and be done with it. i wanted to tell myself that maybe he would message. maybe he would fall asleep arleady and he just wouldnt see it and id have to stare my message in the face knowing that i couldnt change it. becuase he wouldn’t reply ot it right away. iknow this from experience.

but i did. i took a shower and really thought about it. it became, very quickly, “did i say or do something wrong?” because this was short, curt, a genuine question, not salty, not inflammatory, and not incendiary. it was a genuine short question.he would either answer yes or no.

and then it hit me while i thought about it. do i need to send this message? what will i learn from this that i don’t already know? nothing. i already know everything i need to know. i was just trying not to face it. hojin told me. and it makes perfect sense. if you like a girl, you don’t play gamees like that. and you certainly don’t backtrack 100% and go from snapchatting how im doing and dinners and food and leading to naughtier talk and quick responses to how im feeling, to not sending a single picture except a certificate. to taking 8 hours to open a snap. to open. messages. that takes a special kind of potential to use. it’s the kind where all you just want is to get laid. to satsify the curiosity that i probably had sown by sending my vibes. and a freaking snap story wit hthe blue one. i’ll awlays wonder if that woudl have happened if i had just not sent those. would there still be more of that excitement, that ambiguity? did i give it away too early?

I really enjoyed the time in the hotel. i really enjoyed that night. i was really, much like myself when i had the coffee that time. i was so thrilled that he wanted to have dinner with me and offered the whole takeout thing. it was relaly sweet. he was kind. and oh was he horny. i mean we ate for an hour and talked and … and oddly enough, after the sex iteslf it was so… almost relationship like. it was strange. it was … intimate? i remember things that i won’t say in detail, but esentially the fingering at the movies, the asian pr0n, wanting to fuck me since we really started talking,the kissing at the end as if he couldn’t get enough. and me, in a daze… “see you on monday”.

what was i really thinking? i was giddy. i did notice as well, there was no messaging when he got home or i did. not even a simple one. to ask if i had gotten home safe would be silly, i didn’t leave. but was that not his role? wouldn’t it have been strange of me and extra clingy and oxytocin-highed  to ask if he was home safe?

perhaps it would have been. and perhaps i should be glad i didn’t. i was surprsied to see that i didn’t get any messages from him after my lsat. he didn’t owe me any. but i just didn’t expect that. i thought, surely if he was so intent on having dinner, snapchatting so often, messaging, heavliy flirting.. saying that he should have kissed me the time penney gilbert came by… all the while (not drunk)... surely.. a message? a good luck? a “i hope it’s going well”. nothing relatoinship-y. i mean, clearly i didnt need to say that because i was writing a test taht started well early in the moring, which is why i was in the hotel in the first place. and i didn’t finish till 1. at which point i promptly snapped a picture. and i walked with baited breath and worked half-aware, waiting for that vibrate. waiting that maybe there would be some interest in me, in my work, in my day, in hearing from me. but there was none. not till much, much later taht day. so late in fact, that it was 11pm on saturday night and i was pissed enough t odecide not to open it and wait till morning. i was pretty devastated. had it all crumbled so fast? what did i last tell him before i left? “how is this different from last time?” “because if i didnt have to go, i would stay”. oh really? says who?

I was hurt, yea. I didn’t think that i fell off the radar of being important so quickly. it went from me being “slow” replying in 15min, to him taking 5-8 hours while during awake hours and being clearly active elsewhere.

I chalked it up to being busy. I didn’t want to be insecure. but there was something inside of me that was realizing i was being shunned. it hurt. it was so drastic it was so.. fast. it was so soon. it was so ruthless. it was so deliberate. it was so uncalculated. it was done so easily, like it was clearly his only choice. “why would i do anything else?” it’s like the coffee conversation never happened. it was like the no-words version of “what are we?” “i’m not ready to date”. i thought things were different. not that i expected to date, no that i expected any dramatic proposal… but .. never did i think i’d be shunned. it’s like i got whipped around really quickly and was scrambling for the first explanation.

but when you’re in defense and cautious, you don’t think of pragmatic solutions. you think of comfortable solutions. you think back to the first time we went out after i mentioned how this was a shitty situation. we went to duke’s refresher and bar and it was a good time. we talked about everything, but specifically about christmas market. it was really nice. i had a great time. that’s what makes all this so jarring. i know this is the case because i messaged him first for the snapchat on sat, the vid on sun. and then the facebook link about russia being outted from peyonghcnag on tue,then wendesday about meetings on wednesday. it’s clear. i think i was in denial. and it really didn’t truly hit me until about an hour ago. it was when i raelized, that usuually after good sex and a good connection, i like to replay the situation in my head. i only had one chance to do that while still giddy and no semblance of a change was present. and taht was the 4am morning i woke up on the morning of lsat. i couldn’t sleep after and i rmeember lying between those king bed sheets and thinking that i was so lucky and happy. on the bus ride home, i was tired. i was sad. i didn’t get any messages back. they weren’t even opened, which somehow hurt even more. i didn’t masturbate since that night. I just don’t feel it. it doesn’t make me horny. it makes me sad. it makes me horny only when i feel that the enjoyment is reciprocated, that we’re both equally giddy and excited about what went down. i couldn’t do it though. I haven’t been feeling it. because i know that something didn’t sit right. it didnt’ feel like last week, or any week before that. conversations were short, blunt, cut off by other people without returning, and nothing was initiated.

i think this is the beginning of the end.

it make me sad because we went on proper dates. we went to the christmas market, which was a great time. it’s a romantic, couply place. i like looking at it on instagram, other peple posting pictures fromit, becuase it’s so sweet. Ifeel like part of me won’t be able to handle christmas markets the same. it feels like a sham. i felt something, i felt wanted, enjoyed, shown around, in a pretty romantic, couply, festive, really one of a kind environment. ther’s really nothing like it. the crowds suck but i had lots of laughs , like when i took some poor pictures for some people in front of the christmas tree. like when there was a light tunnel with a heart at the end of it that we were awkwardly dodging. like when we had mulled wine, hot choclate, cider. like when we had a nice walk there and back. and while i write this i just cant help but think, did i do something wrong?

the dinner, c’est what. it was nice. good chats and it turned a turn as usual. blew off other skype calls for me. it was nice one on one time. time just flew by. i really liked it. we chatted about everything. like always. i like talking to him. i like his humor. he said he liked me, and he still does. and i gave him a second chance. and i gave in. and we did it. and this is what i get? i really don’t feel like i deserve this. but what  can i say?i don’t have to ask what it means. i know what it means. it’s just that up to an hour ago, i didn’t really want to admit it.

coudl i ahve not been salty about excuses? maybe. but i didnt say that to him. it was pretty benign. maybe he just really didn’t have anything to say. i mean, when he mentoined the coffee thing, i already said that that was really nice of him and i appreciated it. but i think it was a nice way of me mentioning that i know what’s up. he wan’st oblivious. i also could have done a “oh no questions, it was easy :D” and asked what he was up to… but let’s be honest. what did i just go over? i’ve been shunned. was i gonna play dumb and act like none of that ever happened? it bothered me. ti’s been bothering me since i looked at my phone on saturday… and was genuinely surprised. taken aback. didn’t expect that in a milloin years. nothing. and nothing on monday.

sometimes i get twinges of , “ should i have said something?” but i realize the only thing I’d be showing is that I can be petty, that i complain. actions speak louder than words. there is no explanation that would do his choice of actions justice. it’s self-explanatory. it’s not an accident what he chose to do. its clear that i knew what was going on. i was not oblivious. “I don’t like excuses”. in fact, to drive that home, I made the right decision to not say a thing. because im not interested in hearing what excuse there may be. i also don’t really need an explanation for whether or not i said or did something wrong. what would it tell me? maybe it’d tell me if I actually did somthing wrong (and the shunning was really self-inflicted), or if not, it was a change of heart on his end. but me wanting to hear from him was less of trying to get an answer to my question, but rather to get a response. to let him know that i know what’s up. but it’s already evident. I said I don’t like excuses. and really my actions in the next while will say more than i think. I won’t be as smiley, I’ll be friendly but guarded. I get it. he’s just not that into me. fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me.

I’ve been counting in my head, the presence or absence of him, by the days of the week so carefully in the back of my head, every week. especially those since starting in september.

my days became marked by whether or not i saw him. what we talked about. did he come visit? did we chat? not even just if we flirted, but if he dropped by. for how long? were we alone?

i feel like i’m mourning. i’m mourning because there’s a beautiful office down the hall that’s almost done, that’s almost able to be moved into, december 12. that’s next week. he said another thing , that it’d be nice to come and visit. im scared. i’m scared that after that, there’s no reason to catch up, there’s no reason to chat, there’s no reason to check me out or pass by each other, or to get coffee… there’s no reason. different rooms with keys that don’t work. down the hall but yet barred apart. ther’es just no reason. talking ot him now is like pulling teeth. granted, him asking me to drinks and things was done over messaging, but we’re going to become those sort of people… that sort of friendship where you check in once every 2.5 months to ask how life is. and that makes me sad. because that can happen as soon as 5 days from now.

we talked about something on the 11th. his mom’s going to costa rica. that was the plan, to go to his place, to essentially have sex. you know, wiht privacy and stuff. but that requires an invitation. and i was trying to warm up to it by initiating messages. even though he’d try to chat in person… it would quicly become something else. something...clinical. something that woudl be interrupted. my excuse comment would ahve just been maybe, something he just didnt have a response to. wouldnt’ be the same time. but if the week goes as it already has been since last saturday, there will be no meetup next week. which is ok. i am not really sure i want to have sex. im not in the mood as of now. I’m really not dying to. what i want more than anything is a chance to talk without talking about the possibiility of a relatoinship, just to talk about what has been. he did say we could hang out before then, but that was, of course, while he was horny.

and thisis minor, but him playing dumb at me reutrningthings at eaton center was a little jarring. he’s not an idiot. he knows what i was returning. and he acted like he didn’t want to say a single thing about it. or bring it up. it’s like it’s being suppressed already. and i dont get it. you don’t have to love me. i don’t love you. but are you sure you’re not using me? this hurts.