#im too gay for this why am i gods least favorite

[succubus-nblm]

-

[seilon]

pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah

con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines

[campbyler]

mmm what the fuck?

how am i supposed to live like a normal functioning person after experiencing the full range of human and Inhuman emotions?

thea i love u i promise but i also want to kill u in the most cruel way possible.

i was trying to read 32k words one hour before the work and failed Miserably 😭 i only get through driving lesson part. can u believe i had to do actual work the entire day instead of reading my gay fanfiction? 💔heartbreaking misogynistic And homophobic if u ask me.

anyway. i know im going to forget something. it always happens and then im too shy to send other asks so let hope it doesn’t happen this time.

driving lesson.

don’t worry about ur manual transmission description. i’ve changed three instructors in the span of year and a half and all three of them told me different things. i didn’t notice any Big Serious issues that would be at odds with driving mechanic.

to the other news. will sucks 😭😭 not his fault Obviously. he’s naturally anxious and tbh mike didn’t give him any hints about how to feel when the car is ready to go. not mikes fault too. i bet he doesn’t even think about this little thing anymore (and cause u don’t know about them either. which is ok don’t worry about it. u probably just need to experience it ti fully understand). i was so happy when will finally manage to get the car going 😭😭 i probably called him baby too.

and then i literally passed out when i saw the mike called Him baby?? first will’s brain in denial made me questioning was it really for him or for the car. cause mike Loves that car i wouldn’t be surprised if he really call it baby from time to time. but then i remembered that we know how mike feels thanks god and i became like 85% sure that it was for will. (i also Run to check playlist right after this line. yeah i found “king of my heart” there. u make the impossible possible cause why am i listening to two of my least favorite reputation songs and genuinely enjoy them?)

i mentally add the keychains to the list of things we need to know more about. but i think it’s cute that they both not only save them but also use them almost daily. and they both choose car keys to hang the keychains on. dare i say soulmates.

*two weeks later*

also i think it’s funny they consider each other hot while driving.

and of course mike is obsessed with old expensive cars!!

are the malls in the us exactly dying? my office building is near the mall and i can guarantee u that in my country they r super alive.

ok i might be wrong but i think that the deleted scene is from bookstore part idk.

i think it’s cute that they trust each other enough to allow to choose as significant item as journals concerning that they really picky about them.

and i loved that mike blushed over a simple kiss 🫶🏻🫶🏻

(i feel like i want to catch up on everything and it’s killing me cause i write down one thing and immediately remember the other 😭)

THEY WERE SO BOYFRIENDS IN DINER!!! i don’t think i will ever recover from how cute they r and how much they actually like each other (and how single i am. as the classic said “when someone will prey on my neurodivergency….” and so on and so forth). i love that everyone can see it and im obsessed that boys don’t even want to deny it. i think a lot about the fact that mike said that they middle school sweethearts like he regrets about the missed opportunities (but also he doesn’t regret cause the thing they have now (at this exact moment. cause i still have bad feeling) is like that Because of years of semi-friendship and rivalry and unsaid confessions).

and i think even more about the fact that mike didn’t want to talk about his pretentious ivy league college. squinting so hard and taking a lot of notes (in fact writing paragraphs of analysis to my friends who has no idea what acswy).

the photobooth scene!!! omg i can’t believe u almost deleted it all??? suni is our hero! lots of hugs and kisses and thanks to them!!

i can’t believe mike talked about showing pictures to their friends in one minute and literally kissing will on them in the other. i love them they r so silly and in love and can’t get enough of each other. u can feel how close they become and that the air is thick with the newfound (and rediscovered) feelings. and they can’t live without touching and the hold hands constantly!!! all day long!!! and it’s not enough!!! and oh. i think it wasn’t the last time we saw pictures (squinting even harder).

the way max immediately cut the bullshit and asked about swearshirt. i need to know what lucas wrote to mike.

he likes him!!!

i love the difference between mikes “i know i like him but i won’t do anything about it” and wills “i need to kiss him to death right now!”

and the kiss on the backseat of mikes stupid mustang!! we were all waiting for it!

i think i reread and memorized the last part and in still shaking whenever i think about “nervous” part. mike makes will nervous!! and he makes him shake and do stupid stuff like kissing and blushing and thinking to add heart next to his name and call him his boyfriend!!! omg!!

“I’ve got you, baby” WHO WILL GET ME??? im the one who is going insane??? it’s so tender. my boys 💔💔💔

(the second time. my eyes r hurting from squinting that much. and i feel like we’ll have “el’s not stupid” kind of scene in the flashbacks)

this character hits so hard!! i’ve never doubted any of u but i can see why this one is one of ur favorite thea!

thank u so much for ur hard work. if i could draw i would to the whole ass animation of this chapter (and any other too).

love u. thank u for reading all this rambling

mmm what the fuck is RIGHT alya bc this is how i feel every time i read one of ur lovely essay comments. bc whaqt the fuck. why do u want me to CRY ALL THE TIME. (i guess it's fair considering we are making u cry with the fic itself but still . Rude)

you are so real for trying to read 32k in one hour and also so me . rly fucked up and cruel that you would have to work (even tho u threatened to murder me)...i hope you are freed from these perils Soon. don't ever be too shy to send more asks tho every ask from you is a BLESSING and a TREAT!!! EVEN WHENTHEY ARE LACED W THREATS!!!!!!!!!!!! and also tysm for validating my manual driving lesson description bc fr every video i watched was different and i was so stressed but it's FINE. ALYA SIGNED OFF ON IT SO NO ONE ELSE MATTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEAL W IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! will Does suck and that's one thing we can all agree on 💗💗💗 i was going to include a bit about likee what the engine Sounds like bc i know it sounds different when you're ready to switch gears but honest tbhly the driving scene alone is like 12k and i was super losing steam by the time i thought of it so i didn't <3 he is def a baby and mike def refers to his car as baby so he is right to be confused. but it WAS for him!! we actually aren't 100% sure of mike's feelings Yet (ch08 is meant to be the precipice of a realization, not an actual one) but obviously . we do have a pretty good idea of how he does feel. teehee. also i am glad you are enjoying komh now bc wtf......how is it one of your least faves................i support you but i am also judging u a little alya .

i think keychains will be included in one of the companions :o) also OBVIOUSLY they find each other hot while driving. they're both annoying and down bad 🙄🙄

malls here are super dying!! i think the only ones that aren't are ones in Major Cities (there's two nearby me that are pretty popular, but the other ones are mostly closed, and it's definitely been a phenomenon in the us over the last few years thanks to online shopping)!! the deleted scene is actually from the driving scene, but the bookstore scene Feels shorter bc i was truly at the point where i had nothing left to give when writing it (it was the last part of ch09 to be written), so it definitely suffered from that. if we ever do Huge post-mortem edits once acswy is over, i might go back and add to it, or write a deleted-scene-type companion, but tht's the tea w the bookstore scene <3

the diner scene was SOOOO fun to write and it had me blushing frfr. i answered this in another ask but the middle school sweethearts comment was Definitely the most insane thing that i thought of for this chapter and to me it was for sure the nail in the coffin for will of like damn. ok. he's Serious abt this. bc i think with their #history that will has trouble admitting even to himself that he likes mike, and so he'd need to feel pretty certain of how mike feels first, and after processing the middle school sweethearts comment later in the car that's what made him realize like oh damn. i Do like him. SO MUCH. and we all nodded and patted his back and said yeah baby we know. but what you described mike thinking is absolutely exactly how he feels 💗 very reminiscent and wistful, even.

LOL LITERALLY THIS HAS BEEN A UNANIMOUS COMMENT ACROSS THE BOARD OF "THANK GOD FOR SUNI" (INCLUDING MYSELF). to Explain the way i was feeling about it -- i did not initially mean to have that be a Spicy make out moment! it was supposed to read more along the lines of the thrift store scene, or even the kiss after will finished driving the mustang, so very sweet and soft and Romantic. it just didn't come out that way once i was actually writing it, and so i was nervous that i was toeing the line too heavily, or tht it was out of place with the rest of the vibe i had constructed for the chapter. a combination of suni (and abby, who got early access and acted as our second beta) being adamant that it Did fit and worked well, and me being too pressed for time/not having enough energy to rewrite that saved it from the deleted scene graveyard <3 thank god fr. they are both so fucking stupid.

the entiiiiire realization scene up from will realizing he likes mike to the very end of the chapter is my favorite thing that i have ever written i think 💗 i am just so happy with the way it turned out, especially with it being at the point in the fic that it's at!! it felt rly right for will :') also mike calling him baby!!! that was such a last minute decision but i'm so glad i went for it!! the original line was "i've got you, yeah?" but baby hit So much harder so shout out to editing thea for making that change 🤸 will wants to add a heart next to mike's name in his phone SOOOO BAD!!! WHEN WILL HE GET TO!!!!!!!!!!!

your second ask SO TRUE SO REAL. TEEHEE AND MWAHA AND SO ON AND SO FORTH. also you're so right jonathan is so fucked up for stealing steve from will like that 🙄

tytyty as always for your novel length comment alya 💗 really and genuinely and truthfully the thought of getting to read ur reactions is one of the most exciting parts of uploading a chapter!! i eagerly await all of ur other reactions <3333

[valend]

* I got scared I thought that I skipped an episode or something because of how suddenly it started

* Armand is so fucking annoying oh my god like shut up

* Also Louis being visibly uncomfortable while Claudia is doing her performance knowing the song reflects her perfectly (wanting freedom, being pinned down, her infantilization, freedom only being momentary and only permanent in death) ALSO the repetition in her doing the performance over and over again reflecting on the repetitive cycle of Louis and his bullshit but also the way that even when they’re in a different place, she’s still are not happy and they eventually have to leave and start over again. You can also just tell she knows the cycle of Louis throwing himself at someone else and picking them over her is starting again

* Santiago is literally just twink death he reminds me of that old gay guy that shoved Britney broski at that Charlie XCX concert just to have his moment on camera

* I kind of find it interesting that Armand speaks over Louis cause it really seems like he’s projecting on Claudia. I think he sees himself in her as they both are stuck in their past that they can’t get away from. But at least Claudia is interesting so Idgaf about him

* The way everyone else is noticing Armand’s favoritism for Louis too like no wonder your coven is falling apart…

* I still think Lestat is funny but then I remember that there isn’t gonna be anything funny about the last few episodes

* “Louis are you schizophrenic?” “No🙂” the way he says it makes it so obvious that he doesn’t even believe what he’s saying💀

* Daniel having flash backs is stressing me out

* The two neurons in my mind connected, both Claudia and Armand share that same second choice feeling when it comes to Louis choosing someone else over them (Louis chooses Lestat over Armand and Louis chooses his love interests over Claudia) idk how I didn’t see that before I knew they were similar some how

* That scene where Santiago catches her writing in her diary lowkey makes a good point though cause Louis is not even making sure Claudia is being safe or cautious anymore cause he’s so busy with Armand and his Lestat hallucinations

* CLAUDIA AND MADELEINE❤️❤️❤️❤️

* The way they lowkey hate each other but know that they’re exactly what they’re looking for

* Armand stirring the pot by putting photos from other artists in Louis’s portfolio is so petty 😭 you can tell him and Louis are only together because they hate being alone like they disagree about everything. Also I don’t really get why Louis was so embarrassed about that he was being so extra.

* “You’re making love to me, and you think it’s wrong to look at me” AS THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER IN THE MIRROR‼️

* Madeleine is kinda the opposite of Louis, she doesn’t really mind being alone and also doesn’t get overly attached easily which is probably so refreshing for claudia😭

* Armand better get the fuck away from Claudia. Also he doesn’t do shit like he wonders why the coven is falling apart like he isn’t forcing everyone to do everything while he messes around and does nothing (also sort of connected to his past of being enslaved and being controlled)

* The way Louis uses Claudia’s desire to find other vampires against her to put the blame on her for even wanting to find community while in reality it’s him that ruins everything,,,, is pissing me off bad…

* “That doesn’t sound like him” girl go kys you are literally the problem. “You picked the coven, You left me!” WHEN DID SHE LEAVE YOU??? Like am I missing something??? she never left him for a second but left her the second he saw a replacement for Lestat… please kill this man immediately.

* “The wilderness that is our daughter” reminds of the line “is there anything so undoing as a daughter” from arcane

* even before watching the first season, I just knew I was gonna hate everyone in season two except Claudia and madeleine😒

This is so long sorry💀

THE SANTIAGO COMMENT IS SO SPOT ON IM GAGGED

Louis is literally always busy with either Armand, Lestat (hallucination or not) or Daniel 😭😭😭

YOURE SO RIGHT CLAUDIA AND MADELEINE 🗣️🗣️

And tbhh yeah Louis was being soo pretentious with the photographs like who gives a fuckkk and Armand was just trolling or something

LITCHHH LOUIS WAS BEING SUCH A HYPOCRITE ITS CRAZY

[kissabledyke]

when i read smut i love when the girl with a dick is a tgirl who loves herself, sometimes i like it when there is some doubt and introspection and the story ends with her being happy.

but sometimes i also love the subversion when someone is really evil and is/isn't punished by the end, like when a futa impregnates a bunch of people and then shows up to do it again a year later.

i love smut narratives like that, which is why i read smut fics instead of watching porn, porn just doesnt go at a pace i can comprehend, or it goes too slow.

also im asexual and amab but i just... dont feel gender? i hate my body hair but it doesnt cause me any dysphoria, i hate my face-hair and sometimes i wish my penis could just stop existing. but at the same time i dont want to be a girl, i just love it when girls are girls.

i just want to renounce all of these manhood things, i hate it when my dad or uncle says something about my body is 'manly', when i try to articulate what i want they get confused because i practically want nothing, i dont want to twirl skirts (though id like to try) or do makeup or be referred to in any hyper-feminine manner.

also i think im masturbating wrong? im constantly hurting my penis to the point of bleeding, am i supposed to use lube? i never learned how to use lube and i dont know how to learn now tho i am very (privately) proud of my ability to do it in the work bathroom, its satisfying to know that im being paid for time i spend jorking it to gay smut

ok this is kind of a lot. i'm going to respond to all of this as kindly as i can but you should know that this is like. A Lot to send anonymously to a stranger. like i know that i reblogged this post but this is a bit beyond the scope of the implied social contract

anyway, again, responding to all of this point-by-point in the best of faith:

yessss i love gender affirmation and a happy ending. i listen to audio porn a lot and my favorite genre is "mushy romance (and sex 😳) for trans woman listeners"

please don't use the word futa around me, and also i would caution you against using it in general. it's a gross derogatory term born from particularly dehumanizing pornographic caricatures of trans women. that said though i do like an evil woman. that particular scenario is darker than i'm generally into but i see the appeal

i totally agree, your typical mass market video porn is intensely uninteresting. yawn

i don't mean to speak over you but "i hate my face-hair and sometimes i wish my penis could just stop existing" sounds a LOT like dysphoria to me. "binary trans woman" is not the only other option you have available to you, and in fact i would argue that "binary trans woman" is an oxymoron. enjoy women (god knows i do) and explore who you are and who you could be. i too had to suffer through years and years of being reassured that i'm so manly and tough and boyish but as much as that sucks you can't let that stop you from being the person you wanna be. also spinning in a skirt is absolutely worth giving a shot at least once, go for it

yes you are masturbating extremely wrong, please please please stop doing whatever it is you're doing. go to the grocery store and buy some ky jelly or something and when you get home squeeze a generous amount on your favorite hand before trying again. for the love of god just do anything other than your current technique

lmao nice #quietquitting

[hyperrealisticblood]

can i say marios madness for the fandom one is that allowed

okay hopefully this one will be shorter and i wont write twenty billion words. funny scary mario mod

favorite character: its a tie between dj hallyboo and mx for me. hallyboo has been my blorbo in law for years now so i already liked him as a character before the mod dropped and people actually started giving a fuck about him. mx is just neat :]

least favorite character: why the fuck is racist mario here. girl go home (second place is chris pratt if he even counts)

5 favorite ships (canon or non-canon): (skipping this one because i cant think of five ships sorry </3)

character i find most attractive: i would let mx do the most heinous shit to me like im not even fucking joking. when i saw powerdown v2 for the first time and i saw how fucking massive i was something fundamental changed inside of my mind. i am moving on before i say something that gets this blog taken down

character i would marry: uh. somari seems the least likely to kill me so i guess him!!!

character i would be best friends with: see above

a random thought: i will never understand why sm64 classified got three songs. like im sure its a fine series but youre telling me we got a second song about luigi in mario 64 and not victim 01. fuck off

an unpopular opinion: i dont think anyone who follows this blog is trapped in funkin discourse purgatory like i am (for the love of god please help me) but when the mod came out there was a lot of debate surrounding the fact that boyfriend expresses things like fear and anger in various songs. for those not in the know (KEEP IT THAT WAY) in canon funkin the reason given that bf and gf are never scared of the enemies is that "theyre too stupid to be afraid". i already dont like that because it makes them boring as fuck so i dont mind mm deviating from that at all. could you imagine mm if bf and gf were just sat there making their fucking free roblox cosmetic ass expressions for two hours. i would have committed higurashi fingernail scene

my canon OTP: grand dad and somari canonically being married is soooo swag

non-canon OTP: i mean its vaguely canon on one side because of pasta night but shinto/coronation peach is :]

most badass character: devil mario stinks so bad of "2000s edgy deviantart oc" and i fuck with it heavy

pairing i am not a fan of: mx/coronation peach :( that is a lesbian and a gay man to me lmao

character i feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): i cant really think of any?? i think the art in day out is scuffed as fuck but i dont think that counts

favorite friendship: i miss mx and lord x being bros so bad....... like i wouldnt mind if it just wasnt canon anymore but the fact that its also banned as a fanon thing really sucks :(

anyways sorry for talking about friday night funkin. i will absolutely do it again

[yuukei-yikes]

can i just say im obsessed with ur brand of shinaya. genuinely horrible and pathetic guy who is so pathetically in love x girl who is deranged enough to love him back. ur harutaka is the gayest straight couple ever but ur shinaya is the most homophobic gay straight couple ive ever seen

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST ASK IVE EVER GOTTEN also thank god an ask in my kageblog i can talk yes yes yes yes YES YESSS dude i NEED to talk about my blorbos

Bro in all honesty i ship shinaya in a good day. or bad day. it depends on how u feel about it to say if its a good or bad day. my shinaya headcanon is they date on and off and whether they do end up together or not depends on how i am feeling that day 💗 shinaya is kind of an awful trope but out of nostalgia and love for the characters i still ship it. shintaro and ayano post str going through the messiest breakup ever that distances them (but still see each other bc they literally have all the same friends) but when they find they way to each other again as more mature people they end up together again OR stay close friends. i like both.

but in the brand of dating shinaya regardless whether they end up together or not, they care for each other nonetheless. and my favorite thing to have fun with is their messy fresh off the daze dating bc they spent NO time healing/talking/etc and its a nightmare to everyone. literally that couple fighting and everyone being like Ok were leaving now and them being like NO!!!! WE ARE NOT FIGHTING STAY THERE!!!!!! and shinaya is so good bc u can twist the trope of Asshole x Angel into Guy who has it coming x Weird girl. shintaro being the one to constantly reject ayano. ayano never stopping to think why she even likes him or insists on being with him, and when she does and She Leaves Him and that makes shintaro spiral into the role of Desperately Trying To Get Her Attention Back in a pathetic role swap. idk. god i fucking love/hate shinaya theyre so fun to play with. and since im a harutaka4life of course theyre along for this awful fucking ride they didnt want tickets for but they have to be constantly there for their friends😭 i also think takane would be like sort of intertwined in at least 1 of the many shinaya problems (and therefore also a harutaka relationship problem though probably the only one LOL) bc shintaro and takane are completely codependent Post str because i fucking say so and ayano in her lack of therapy and obsession with being shintaros girlfriend is jealous shintaro isnt vulnerable with her but he is with takane (with harutaka the problem is rather takane will drop EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING if shintaro needs anything, cancelling on haruka if necessary just to go find shintaros wallet or something and haruka is like Lol this is fine and normal *will explode at any moment*) man dont get me STARTED on the shintaro and takane Ene Aftermath Codependency (i say as i already started) ummm *chews the yuukei quartet like gum* theyre my dolls i play with and you can play too but you have to follow my rules otherwise ill ask my mom to ask ur mom to pick u up :/

[smoosnoom]

oh moon. ur writing bop after bop. my only wish is to fix ur sleeping schedule (as i don’t write it at 2 am before my work).

“although Will wasn’t sure why, with a lack of an attempt to call or write or remind him that he actually cares about Will in any facet” it’s actually crazy how differently ur looking at this situation after reading mike’s pov. like, will, honey. u didn’t reach out too…

“Will just misses him like home” well sad version of the phrase “home is there the heart is” is valid too 😭

oh and the sky!! “gray sky” when he’s lonely, “gray-red sky” when hes torturing himself about loving mike, “The sun glimpses through cloudy skies” when ice started to melt, “grayish-blue” when they went back to normal but before coming out

“Will knows it’ll never be like before” the way he’s right and wrong at the same time.

“We should all have one person that knows our favorite song” and u decided to become wills person yeah?

“he hear when Mike lets out the smallest of sighs, fleeting when he lands on the ground” he signs like an old person when he’s going any physical activity 😭 grandpa in a young boy body

“You don’t have anything to apologize for” i love when ur doing this

“It makes Will’s mouth run dry” as california summer. fake but never forgotten

““You’re crazy,” [...] He surely drives Will crazy.” yeah cause they’re crazy together

“There’s – there’ll never be a girl.” coming out scenes always make me shrink like im looking for something bad to happen. even though i know it’s impossible. i can’t imagine how hard it’s write one

“if – if you did, that’d be – I’m just” i love when mike is aware of his feelings and finding out that will is gay but still hesitating cause that will is gay doesn’t mean he likes mike.

“Now, I know you better than anyone” hes so 😭😭 i swear if he could put will in his pocket and don’t let anyone interact with him he’d do it

“to brush Will’s hair away from his forehead” im obsessed with this trop

“He’s going to overthink it for the rest of his life, he knows” a lot of others kisses are coming my boy </3

“He can feel Mike’s eyes on him.” and then whole “will-they-won’t-they” thing will start.

also i loove the playlist u made :) “lost in japan” is like… my favorite shawn song Ever 😭😭 and there’s a song “concentrate” which is “hitchhiker” twin But i love “hitchhiker” more so it’s crazy that u chose it 😭😭

ur music taste is soft and sweet like cotton candy. i feel like mine is more like confetti cause i listen to more pop. does it make sense? (it doesn’t mean i don’t like it. it’s just different and that’s cool cause im struggling to find music outside my comfort zone)

anyway. love ur fic and ur playlist. ty for them <3

i feel like we should support u at every given opportunity

my sleep schedule has been in Shambles since i was nine ! so ! at least u get some fics out of my terrible insomnia :D

u know they have some of the worst miscommunication problems ihave Ever seen . i need to trap them together in a room for three hours with a sleeve of ritz crackers

oh my god im so happy u noticed the whole sky motif !!!!!!! it makes me so excited whenever someone notices something like that especially when its probably something u skim over alya Love of my life

mike immediately going over will and filing away every song hes ever listened to is so real to me .

ok YES he sighs like an old man when he does anything . BUT SO DO I 😭😭😭 LET ME LIVE

the bedroom scene where mike looks So offended when will is like I Deserved It :/ lives rent free in my mind . i need to implement it whereveer i can

"as california summer. fake but never forgotten" HEELEPJHP

CRAZY TOGETHER !!!!! CRAZY TOGETHEERRRRRR

coming out scenes intimidate me so so much oh my god ive never even . come out to anyone i just imply things and let people figure it out on their own and watching coming out scenes make me sweat like a sinner in church but . writing them is so hard for me !!!!!!! im trying to write one with jonwill and it is so so so slow and difficult oh my god

so true !!!!!!! mike the gentleman that u are .

he would he rly would !!! number #1 will byers fan Mike Wheeler he just like me fr

omg "lost in japan" is one of my favorite songs of his too and i was like . this is So alya and im so glad u liked it yayayy !!!!!! also what a coincidence i chose the twin u liked better !!!! our brains are Connected for real

urs is definitely like confetti omg what a perfect way of describing it ! urs is like bubbly soda and mine is like . a milkshake . does this make sense . urs so fun and hype and i lovee the songs u showed me !

thank u so much for liking both things alya :D u mean the world 2 me !

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. puffy eyed sneezy coughy lefty eyebag 😅

Maybe you're not puffy eyed but I bet you have really dry red eyes lol stupid allergies!

I'll read it when I get back home. Just finished grabbing the stuff for the cat condo. Now going to the grocery store to get food items. So I have been busy haha woke up late too because my ex is staying over and her boyfriend came so they can talk, then we all ended up just talking about stuff til maybe 3 in the morning 😴.

Ooh I've played Crash before. But my favorite to play are lego games. When I had the Playstation, I had all lego marvel and dc games. But if it's a group/party game, I like to play Mario party. I get so competitive.

Woot how much of part 4 have you written?

Aw I will think about you when I enjoy my ham. Hahaha and my tiramisu. Have you ever had monkey bread? I might make that too.

Ah I hate that too. Especially the clinking of the plate and the utensils..then the scraping of the knife if someone cuts their meat.

So you've always wanted to come to the states since you were younger? Why is that, if you don't mind me asking.

Also young lady, I asked you a question from the last post and you ignore it 😔

-CuriousGeorge

Hello u teaser corn-punn lil' jon shot yeller righty eyebag! 😅

I dont know if my eyes r dry or not, but it feels weird for sure.. my throat feels uncomfortable too. I hope im not getting sick.

Ah okay.. ur cat has a condo? That sounds

Wow 3 am, well at least u had fun with them ,right? N u said ex, as in ex wife?

So u were still awake when i went to bed..😁

Oh my god! Yeeess! I loveeeee lego games.. i played the avengers one..its sooo fun!i wanna play more of the lego video games

Not that much, i think almost 1000 words.. it's probably not gonna be as long as the other 3. N the epilogue will be short.

Hahaha. Okaaay now u r just rubing it to my face..😅🤭 luckyyy! U gonna have ham n tiramisu.. now for sure u have to mail it to me.lol.

Hmm im kinda familiar with the name..i will google the monkey bread.

Yes, i have been dreaming to move here. Hmm i dont know why.. i guess when i was a kid, i always thought that U.S is a very cool country n my cousin's boyfriend's parents live in san fransisco. So i was like whoooooaaaaa.. haha.

N as i grow older, i dont like my country more n more. Because i think it's not too organize, n i thini the people r nosy. N how gay people werent accepted (not as much as now but still unacceptable for some people). They dont agree with people live together before they got married n other stuff.

Dont get me wrong, it's a beautiful country n delicious food. But sometimes they r still kinda narrow minded even thought the capital city is pretty big n have a famous island for tourism.

What? Which question on the last ask? I checked n i think i answered all? Can u tell me which one?

Cheerio!

[bonnieura]

honestly.... I dont really know it doesnt. really. look THAT promising like to me at least it just looks like a copy of the second season and i mean. I guess its expected since the trailer's so short and we havent seen anything of it yet? I dont know its weird.. i was never really an advocate for a season 3 anyway because i felt like. It was waayyyy too early? I dont know im still recovering from season 2 at least 😭😭 also I DONT WANT MORE COUPLES!!!!!!!! There are already so many in this show you might as well call the whole cast a polyamory relationship ((which is sick btw shout out to all my polyam folks)) like it just seems redundant at this point. You know what i want? I want an episode of Abraham Lincoln freeing the slaves. Or the Civil rights act of the 1960s how about that. Or about Egyptology. Or ancient France. <---- these were all just a mix of jokes and wishful thinking </33. Also just a prediction but i feel like we might see an RFK cameo this season (also not a prediction just wishful thinking <\33). But honestly i think they should because? if youre reviving the 35th president might as well clone his brother too?? the attorney general????? the senator????? presidential candidate???? the guy who also got shot???? robert f kennedy????????? come on this is just blaaatant favoritism on their end. Actually blatant favoritism from EVERYONE . as much as i (somewhat) understand all the focus and attention towards john f kennedy ((obviously since he was the fucking president of the us) and all the things he did and whatever ((which are honestly not that known to be fair ,, he didnt really live long enough in his presidency to ACTUALLY do anything even if its like 2.5 years. the things he did werent that known or they didnt have TTTHAT strong of an impact IN THE MOMENT that his assassination overshined everything. which id understand too because, believe it or not you may as well call JFK's assassination a black swan event-- because i am a firm believer that JFK one way or another had a cultural and social effect on the USA . in fact you might as well call president kennedy the first '''pop''''' president )) but honestly i just wished people also were. willing to learn about the rest of the kennedys. because they did great things too! and you can very well study the '''kennedy curse'' too i find that super interesting. they were all interesting men and women who are fun to morally analyze (but can never TRULY analyze because we werent there and the vast majority of us arent psychologists , and even if we were its not really. clear. even in video. their personality traits can be glorified or villainized ,we will never TRULY know because its word of mouth and in the grand scheme of things these people are Strangers to us. Thats why i (personally) dont like theorizing on like jfk's sexuality or some shit like that because it doesnt matter to me!!! i dont know this man and im not even AMERICAN for gods sake . so why should it matter . like if its shits and giggles sure i dont give two flying fucks but if we are actually getting heated its like Ummm.. its reallynot that serious? like queer history sure. first gay president or sometjing. of course forgetting JAMES BUCHANAN? but tbf a lot of people think he just didnt like his wife. Whatever hes the closest thing we can get to a fully homosexual president. Like other than that neat piece of trivia what does it matter to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So like i just wish people didnt focus so much on john f. kennedy and maybe focused kn other ghings idk go drink water or go outside you have a bright future ahead of you son . (hypocrite speaking)

CLONE HIGH S3 TRAILER 😭 what do we think yall???

[shkspr]

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

[mokutone]

Ask meme: Gai!

hee hee hee...i got SO MANY gai asks💚

answers under the cut!

favorite thing about them okay so there was this ninja clash game i played when i was a kid before i even liked naruto, and might gai was my favorite character to play because he had this special move where you would like. grip the other character around the middle, tell them how proud you were of them, and a SUNSET would MANIFEST behind you...and then you would hug them so tight that they'd go down instantly I did not give a shit about naruto at this time. i did not know who gai sensei was. i was still, absolutely obsessed, and i still kind of am. so like!!! what i like about him is how much FUN he is. he's still a character with serious narative weight behind him, but he's fun, and he's full of love! and he's also so handsome...and he's so compassionate to the people around him and—[is pulled off stage by a hook]

least favorite thing about them UM. sometimes. he puts rock lees dreams before rock lees safety. and while i. understand. that. i am also like gai sensei my beloved. i will take my squeaky hammer to your head stop it stop it stop it. ALSO. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE BIT WHERE HE WAS LIKE. "rock lee if this surgery doesnt work out i will die along side you." LIKE. DUDE A SU*CIDE PACT WITH YOUR STUDENT. DUDE WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! AAUAUAUAUAUA WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN HELP!!!!!!! i'm in pain? i'm in pain!!! was that helpful???? to anyone??? what the fuck!!!

favorite line when gaara is like. why wont u let me kill him [rock lee]. why are u protecting him [rock lee]. and gai is just like. "He is precious to me." i fuckin. WAAHHHHHH...... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH....

brOTP kakashi!!!! :) he's kakashis best friend, his right hand arm...man. his everything. his confidant. his silly rabbit. kakashi is also all of these things to him.

OTP bleh bleh bleh! idk. kakayamagai is still my favorite here if i have to pick a ship

nOTP god whats something insane. uhhh. ive literally never seen any gai ship that wasnt like kakagai or kakayamagai which are both absolutely fine. yamagai itself is also fine i just think theyd also be like hilariously unbalanced on their own. maybe gai + kurenai. i'm having trouble with these notp questions. i dont really care!

random headcanon gai is a cat person more than a dog person but hes also wildly allergic to cats. you would think because hes loud and energetic hed be more of a dog person, but this is not the case. he doesn't dislike dogs ofc, kakashi is his best friend rival etc etc + he loves pakkun, but hes a cat person. big cats especially. hes a turtle person overall, though, obviously.

unpopular opinion ACK...UHHHH. i dont know. i get really uncomfortable with specifically romantic fics or art or stuff where it's all just like. kakashi is in pain and suffering, and gai is taking care of him, you know? like. a relationship should be reciprocal...that is arguably the most defining feature of their relationship since gai characterizes them as rivals!!! people who compete, and through their competition, better each other... obviously gai cares a lot about kakashi and would lay down his life if he thought it would help kakashi, but a lot of times i worry abt it sliding towards the fantasy of a partner who is also a caretaker, and that makes me like. desperately uncomfortable. i don't think it's like. a problem to make or find comfort in that kind of content, because like there's a reason hurt/comfort is so popular, and there is obviously nothing inherently bad about wanting to be helped! or wanting to help others!!! it's just like. ack. sometimes on a bad day it skeeves me out, personally. gai should be on the receiving end of care and attention from kakashi too—and we know kakashi isn't good about that kind of thing. but like. gai is also his best friend. he makes an effort.

song i associate with them tubthumping by chumbawamba. im so sorry. uhhh a really repetitive song which talks kind of only about standing yourself back up and focusing on the positive while also avoiding mentioning directly any of the negative things which ARE knocking you down. it feels very like. avoidant and repetitive while also being fun and bright and something i'd gladly howl along to were i inebriated and in good company. i wanted to give him a cool song, i really did, but just...the kind of mantra vibe of this. yeah i really feel it for gai

favorite picture of them

i literally love him so much looooook at himmmmmm

[wooahaes]

follow up to the fire emblem ask 😵‍💫 yes i found another blog who likes fire emblem and seventeen ! i won everyone !! ps sorry for the mini rant i got excited

anyways … let me tell you that the conquest route of fates was something! (i got sad) and then third dlc route revelation, writing was confusing but eh its dlc im not mad. i’m trying to find a way to get birthright soon so i can finally play that path.

ALSO TELL ME WHY I ALSO KEPT UNITS AWAY FROM OTHERS SO THEY COULDNT PAIR 😭. like i play as a f!unit so i kept her away from everyone but like one character so they had to be together. i personally did chrom and sumia just bc everyone said but i also chrom has funny supports and i heard his support with sully is sweet.

i actually talked to one of my moots abt someone making a video game based smau, they asked me to do it but im not at that level yet… but then fire emblem popped into my head. like the class system is so cool and usually connected to the type of person the characters are! i kept trying to see which members of seventeen + other idols would fit into each class role. sorry i got carried away 😅

hi lovely <3 no need to be sorry! i like talking abt stuff that makes ppl happy

god yeah i can imagine. i remember getting sad over birthright too :( i played through most of conquest and revelations tbh but its been like. at least a year or two so my memory's pretty foggy lmao i just remember not liking jakob

im always like "stay away until i get ppl married and then u can pair up however tbh" (still pairs married couples or parents w their kid bc i think them working together is cute).

god... i feel bad but im not a huge fan of sumia as a unit. some ppl say she's great but she always goes down so easily for me. i cannot imagine playing the game on classic. chroms support w sully is v sweet tho! if i wasnt trying to get lucina some specific skills from olivia, i probably would have pushed chrom with sully. they arent optimal according to a lot of ppl, but their supports would make up for it <3

ngl with this playthrough though ive had my f!unit like. sticking around multiple men to get the supports up to A so that i can figure out who i wanna romance......... homie i didnt expect for so many of them to have cute supports??? gaius's is cute (im p sure he calls the mc "bubbles" regardless of gender but i like his nicknames for ppl dsfkhdsf + his sweet tooth is endearing to me), stahl being the kind of person who looks out for people is sweet, lon'qu slowly growing more used to f!unit and being kind of endeared by her... and also henry just being the weirdo he is ksfdhdsf like ??? how am i supposed to pick. i mentioned it but i managed to get inigo (my favorite slutty man /hj) last night and his supports w f!unit are also kind of cute? just him going from a skirtchaser to trying to be more conscious of everyone else around him and taking care of ppl... ugh hes sweet <3

also last night i realized that olivia sparkles. like ??? girl straight up sparkles. i love that for her dskfhsdf also someone asked me if u have the option to be gay in awakening and im like NO bc god i love cherche and sully... and also lissa... and also maribelle... theres so many pretty women :(

ooo a video game based smau would be so fun... if i could do it, i would since theres like. so many games w so much potential there. i've had a vague idea for a life is strange-esque au (mc with powers dealing w that, basically) and since im already writing a one-shot w felix... idk, it just feels like a fun idea to play with. my go-to would be 3 because its the only game w a viable male love interest, sorry warren and whatever the guy from 2 was i love 3 the most and like ngl a smau would be an interesting way of doing it...

ooo do you have any thoughts on who would be in what role? i'd love to hear them! i talked with an anon about it a while back but i'd have to go find those asks bc i admittedly can't remember anything we picked out rn :(

[theyarebothgunshot]

The questions at cons are getting boring anyways otherwise I wouldn't suggest it. But maybe someone should just ask "on a scale of all-my-pictures-live-in-the-cloud to i-have-an-entire-room-dedicated-to-scrapbooking where are you"?

god please no, nobody ask anything like this everrrr first rule about cockles is we don't talk about cockles etc etc (but yeah i do agree the con questions are getting boring)

more after the cut

I am 99% sure i remember someone had found an app that created that border at some point, and i know it was posted in a random reply on twitter, so not too many people must have seen that discovery. idk why that's so important to me but I've been trying to find that app for an hour now, i still haven't sadly!! I need this to find peace because i literally could swear it was from an app, even with that little tilt and those weird imperfect corners and all

now that you mention it, i do remember seeing a post about this...... though i don't remember if i was convinced it was that app or not lmao but yeah it's possible!

weighing in as well: the photo with danneel definitely has one of the old instagram frames, they removed them some years ago but some of my old ig pictures do have that same frame. the two anniversary pictures, i can’t really tell though because of the quality, it could be that frame on both which then were stitched together (but then that would mean a whole lot of trouble to make that one collage)

oh really?? in my mind the background on all three pics is the same but maybe it's slightly different idk.

listen i am a tinhatter as much as anybody can be—THOSE BITCHES IN LOVE—but i just neeeeed someone to know (and you're my favorite blog on this whole hellsite so im very sorry but im going to curse you with this) how fucking funny i would find it if the truth was jensen and misha are infact totally hetero, not even a little bit into each other—like, they truly and openly explored the idea with each other, really took it into consideration and were uncharacteristically open about feelings and attractions, and went 'ehhh nah sorry not for me' 'oh thank god i thought i was going to have to figure out how to let you down easy'—and that j&d are rigidly monogamous, but they do these things and perform these.. hmm.. displays.. utterly on purpose, fully aware of everything they do and the way we will interpret it, specifically BECAUSE we are so.. us.. about it. queerbaiting irl, acting in love so hard they've practically caused a cult—i KNOW cockles discourse has led at least one set of friends to come to actual physical blows, ive seen second-hand the fallout and damage of our beloved green blue conspiracy between believers and nonbelievers—just for shits and giggles. queerbaiting even harder than the nEtWoRk, just bc it's funny to them personally. that is both the worst timeline and by far my favorite timeline. i don't believe anything ive just said for a single second, but my sides hurt from laughing about it.

im also thinking about the fact that like. idk if we would have caught on as much, or at least in the numbers we did, if the show had just let the gays be gay on screen. many of us wouldn't be going "BUT WHY CHEMISTRY. WHY STARING. WHY SO CLOSE TOGETHER. WHY KISS FACE. WHY UNICORN LAUGH." if they had just said "uhh, because gay." like there would not have been much reason for most people to look deeper, there would not have been any reason for people who hate rps to be like "well, but.. i mean.. reluctantly, i cannot deny that the cards are all on the table.. they're.. uhh.. like, they're in love. duh." and the cockles community would be MUCH smaller and more niche. also an objectively horrible idea, also objectively hilarious. this one i do believe. not that they wouldn't be.. them.. like, they'd still be all mmlahh for each other, but they'd have a much more private relationship if not for the cdubs homophobia. and actually those of us that would ken it regardless of the show would probably have a lot more content if those two/three weren't under such incredible scrutiny. damn it.

anyway i am so sorry, you absolutely didn't ask for any of this but god its making me laugh out loud to think about so i hope it makes you laugh too!

lmaooo thank you it did make me laugh and also thanks for the compliment <3 yes i am sure jensen's on stage boners were all an act sfshfshf on a more serious note i do think i personally would still be as invested in perceiving them even if they did full on went for destiel in spn, but that's just me.

[transsexualhamlet]

001 for bsd 002 for dead apple trio 003 for shibusawa <33

Hihihi!! :3 :3 Ask game

001: BSD

Favorite character: It would be very difficult to come up with a favorite character of all time for bsd theres just SO many blorbos to choose from but um. Fyodor is my top blorbo

Least Favorite character: This is a no brainer but I just cannot stand fukuchi I know there's a lot of points about legitimate political themes but also I'm sorry I cannot take an old man who makes fart jokes seriously about anything

5 favorite ships: Fyogol Fyozai Atsuluaku (I think lucy could fix shin soukoku) dead apple trio and the whole DOA polycule ehehe gay people

Character I find most attractive: chuuya HANDS DOWN. No argument I will not be taking constructive criticism I am on my knees for this man

Character I would marry: ALSO CHUUYA but if i had to choose someone different, Lucy. I love them both so fucking much and I think they are actually good loveable fun and interesting people

Character I would be best friends with: Akutagawa or Fyodor. My type of best friend is wet cat i picked up out of the gutter I would fix them up good I promise

A random thought: God the tik tok fandom of bsd is absolutely rancid and it's really just a wasteland of people fighting each other tooth and nail for chuuya nakahara custody since literally everyone is convinced they're the only one who understands him and then proceeds to give the worst takes ever on him

Unpopular opinion: Mori is in general a good person and he really and truly wants the best for the city and for the world and the world he lives in has forced him to make very bad decisions, he has decided to be the bad guy for the world to function and near anyone else in his position would fucking crumble. He is fair and kind and allows the least amount of suffering possible though he knows that he does not deserve forgiveness for the things he has had to do. Without him the world would go to shit so fast.

Canon otp: I mean, there's not any canon ships in bsd really, but in terms of Most canon I would probably consider fukumori or shin soukoku? I love soukoku too but you know im Picky about it

Non-canon otp: ah yes the these characters have had One (1) interaction but they're fucking. Fyoya and Nikozai and also Sigzai i fucking love them

Most badass character: IM SORRY BRO ITS STILL HANDS DOWN CHUUYA HES TAKING ALL THE AWARDS TONIGHT CHUUYA CAN USE ME AS A FUCKING DOORMAT

Most Epic villain: Nikolai ofc he's 100 percent the most unhinged motherfucker in the cast and I am bonded to him on a molecular level Help

Pairing I am not a fan of: I feel like I've been over this a lot and at this point I just don't wanna make anybody sad bc I know people who ship just about everything sane and normal so you know you do you as long as it's not fucking gross yknow

Character I feel the writers screwed up: Teruko could have been an absolute girlboss if they didn't give her the. I don't know the. The Fukuchi Thing why did they do that seriously what why

Favorite friendship: Yes yes Dazai and Oda very much so Dazai and Oda but hAVE YOU CONSIDERED Chuuya and the flags. I'm all holding them so tightly you don't even fucking understand. They're so important

Character I most identify with: :|. Nikolai and Dazai. I should not be allowed in public spaces

Character I wish I could be: YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO IM GONNA SAYITS FUCKING CHUUYA. There's not many people in bsd whose situations/mental states I really envy tbh. Dazai is crusty and sad and I don't want to ever see the state of his apartment. Fyodor is even sicker than me. Akutagawa's on the brink of death at all times. Being Ranpo would kill me because I would not be able to keep up the illusion of having an ability and I wouldn't be able to handle the thought that I didn't have one and everyone else did. All my kins are so sad and sick and in awful situations except CHUUYA who is being BADASS and MAKING BANK and GETTING BITCHES. Yes, he has obviously had so much tragedy in his life and he has very much suffered but the fact remains that he has gone through it and come out even stronger than before. He's such a guy I want to be him so bad

002: Dead Apple Trio :))

When I started shipping them: Literally the second I met these guys I was like Oh They're Fucking. All thru the first time I watched dead apple it just. More and more. These fuckers gay as shit

My thoughts: I looove them so much and they are so fucking terrible they're awful people and they love terrorism and genocide and being queercoded villains. They're in their big gothic spire doing gay crimes. Everything they do is labeled under 'consensual but not safe or sane'

What makes me happy about them: I love thinking of them all as some flavor of transfem nonbinary and they are so queer and gnc girlbosses that did nothing wrong they're so important to me shibusawa designed their wedding dresses and dead apple is the honeymoon

What makes me sad about them: I mean, I usually just call them girlbosses and call it a day but the thing is, the one thing that really brings them together is their fucking mental illness. Without unmedicated depression, unconventional takes on religion, and several personality disorders each, those three would never even talk to each other. The reason they care so much for each other is because they're the only ones who truly understand each other, they can see through each other's lies and straight to their rotted empty fucking ribcages. They only come together when they're at their absolute worst. They probably met at a sleazy gay bar and if it weren't for all their own grand schemes, at the slightest negative emotion they would just meet up there again and lace all their drinks with cyanide

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I mean. There's like 20 fanfics in the dead apple trio tag total, and 90 percent of them annoy the shit out of me, but yknow. I don't like it when they treat Dazai like some sort of victim in this situation, like, no he is 100 percent into this. This is normal for him and he signed up to get stabbed. Also people who think Shibusawa tops anyone are dumb as shit look at those acrylic nails sh;drgsfdoig

Things I look for in fanfic: IF IT'S NOT PRETENTIOUS AS SHIT, I'M NOT INTERESTED HSDIFHDS but seriously I think the important thing to realize is that this trio is that they're each other's bad habit. Most of the time they're totally clean of each other but every once and a while they will just fall into that hole again and come together to dig it deeper and deeper. They're awful for each other and nothing can save them. As much as the porn is good I wish there were more fics that had actual plots for them

My wishlist: I mean. Shibusawa is kind of dead for realsies now so it's not like they'll meet again anyway and I don't think I need them to be any more canon than they are, yknow? That's how I feel with most of my ships because like. There's already soo much subtext there for me, but if it was explicit, it would literally just be demonizing queer people and queer relationships and would be taken completely wrong and I think. It's just fine the way it is bc to me it is very clear they're gay sdhighdfs

Who I'd be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I mean,, I don't know if I can really see a hypothetical Happy Ending for any of these guys. Perhaps there might be one for Dazai, if he can keep his shit together from now on, but not for both. I really do like the idea of both Fyodor and Dazai living and having to attempt to fix each other together, I really do, although I don't think Nikolai would survive in that situation :(, but that's not something that would happen in canon lol. Fyozai will either die together with Nikolai or it'll be Dazai alone. In that case, I think Dazai should be with Kunikida. They would actually be good for each other, I really do think that.

My happily ever after for them: There is NO happily ever after for the dead apple trio, as much as it's sad to say, there really and truly isn't. They're not good for each other, they're not a sustainable polycule as much as they love each other. Fyozai could hypothetically move on together and mourn Shibusawa, but there's no way they'd be good with him alive, there just isn't.

003 Shibusawa !!! Ok this is hard he interacts with like 3 people

How I feel about this character: Shibusawa sucks and I love him. He's a pillow princess. He's my wife. He tortures children but he would be a good mom I swear. He wants an e-z bake oven. He is an international terrorist but he is also a crazy cat lady. He walked into yokohama to start the apocalypse dressed like a cottagecore grandma with a million dollars of stolen jewelry in his purse and got called the t slur ten seconds before the fog came. I hate him hes my favorite he uses his science skills to create estrogen laced cupcakes

Any/all people I ship romantically with this character: Obviously Fyodor and Dazai but also Ivan. Shibusawa needed like a body double for some plot and Fyodor was like "I've got this crazy weirdo with long white hair who looks a lot like you, I can rent him out for five dollars an hour" and they hit it off like nobody's business. Now Shibusawa uses him as a crazy gay test subject for his unethical experiments and they kiss and Ivan is madly in love with him

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't know why people hate Shibusawa so much. On international women's day week too?? Im sorry women can do anything. I'm all for awful evil women, Shibusawa included. Genuinely I don't get how anyone could think Shibusawa is like. A man. One thing you have to understand about me. Is that Shibusawa is my wife

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I WANT HIM TO WEAR A DRESS. BIG DRESS. POOFY FANCY DRESS. VICTORIAN BALLGOWN. HE DESERVES IT. HE WOULD LOVE IT

Favorite friendship for this character: I think that Shibusawa and Nikolai would be good friends. They gush about Fyodor and Nikolai is Shibusawa's crazy friend who gives him all his awful ideas and Shibusawa encourages everything. Also there's my and my friend's ocs Fran and Kafu who are both. Around Shibusawa ™ but that's a whole nother story. Fran is his younger cousin who helps him exist and Kafu is this absolutely insane fucking creature who's deeply in love with him and is in his walls

Crossover ship: I have never thought about this ever before but after some consideration. Albert Moriarty. I think they would get along well. I really do think they would get absolutely fucking wasted and Shibusawa would get fucking railed after they talked about how much they hated rich people and killing rich people and stealing rich people's money to kill more people and how fucked up the world is and how they wanna die

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.