#im tired. and i wanna go home
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oh boy i did not start this year on a good note, 4 days in and im a ghost on my dead tired legs begging for rest
#having a social life is all fun and games until you always gotta be somewhere and it eats into your time off#���do you wanna hang” brother i guess i do but youre the 5th person to ask me that within the last 3 days and if i dont have a night in soon#i might start killing ppl idk#i need to start saying i dont have free time even when i do have free time#2025 goal start lying#my days recently have been going something like: 9am wake up. 10am-2pm do a mandated task outside the house involving a 1h car ride.#3-4pm get dressed for the social thing. 5pm arrive at the social thing. the social thing somehow lasts until midnight. 1am back home. sleep#wake up dead tired. 10am do a task-#i dont even drink or smoke at all and yet im a shell arGHHH#my days dont belong to me deluxe edition#i need to disappear in a forest i think
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.
#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying#nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess#ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so#i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair#both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home#but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again#not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO#i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED#all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis#but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum#and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it#youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes#BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply
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#idek what im doing wrong#i keep bringing this up cuz it keeps affecting me so bad (especially since A Thing started for me which explains a few things)#but i found another moot blocked me#like what am i doing wrong? am i doing something wrong?#would someone tell me if im doing something wrong so i can FIX IT?#idk im exhausted. im tired. ive been losing moots since last year in different ways and its getting to me so bad#idk why#ik some are gonna stay but others-#i just wanna sleep but time will pass#i almost wanna go home#its so lonely here in this stupid apartment#there's no activities i go to#drawing isnt helping#im just. im sorry. im sorry im being this negative as of late. im sorry if i upset you.#idk what to do#i feel stupid for being this attatched but idk what to do#i miss my 2022 spamton era#ill delete this later#i just feel so bad#vent#blood tw
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stuck on campus locked out of my car but at least i look cute ig
#talkies#me tag#burst into tears when I realized my keys were caught at the bottom of the door and not in my purse 👍#im so fuxjing tired i just wanna go home!!! :(((
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i need to get some new pants and other clothes but mostly pants. i hate that pants are so expensive. everything i wear is completely worn out or i cant fit them anymore. ive donated a huge portion of my clothes already that i cant fit now already. if yall would like to help my cashapp is $CieranSpeakman if u wanna help on that. i would love to open commissions again but my health is still very bad and its hard to focus whatsoever even on little things i enjoy in my own time. but i hope to post some art soon if i get around to doing so. im trying my best to get back into continuing to draw on a regular basis. thank you <3
#dont feel obligated and definitely dont if ur under 18 bc again im not taking money from kids. esp who need that money.#things are getting harder at home and my dad cant even get me clothes#i dont like begging so im sorry about this but its still not like a huge emergency. im just tired of wearing clothes that have rips andhole#ive had my same clothes for literal years.#icannot go out often so i have to rely often on shopping online for clothing.#money ive gotten gone to birthday and also things i needed on the 22nd so ive got the tiniest bit left that cant cover the clothing i need.#my dad still owes me money too and thats rly difficult for him#but im waiting for that but i wont have that for a while.#btw thank you to everyone whos helped me out or gifted money for my bday you are so wonderful to me#wish i could give back tenfold. i constantly wanna give back but i cant
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realizing you’ve taken the wrong bus is an incredibly humbling experience. i push the button for the bus to stop and a siren starts blaring that goes HEY EVERYBODY LOOK AT THIS LOSER! SHE HAS TO WALK TO ANOTHER BUS STOP AND ADD ADDITIONAL TIME TO HER TRAVELS 😂😂🫵🫵🤣
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Too many members of my family are total pieces of shit and they looove sitting around together and talking about how cool they are, how much they like each other and how their kids don't want to talk to them anymore
#goddd im so fucking tired of them#i want to have a nice day but it's impossible cause these bitches come here constantly#get outtaa hereeee#nobody fucking likes youuu!!!!!#they are literally just so mean and rude to me and my cousin#like they do deserve to get pumched by me imo but I can't do it cause I'll get kicked out#and I don't wanna go home yet lmfao#but can they go fuck themselves pllleaaassseee???? 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i hate them soooo much 🥺🥺🥺👉👈
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#in cleaning my room yesterday I activated some of the like. dormant dust that was laying around and i didn’t get much sleep last night#bc i was just coughing and wheezing and stuff. i got the rest of it this morning but I still feel like shit and i don’t wanna go to class#i feel like i can’t#i know im lucky but i feel like im always sick or something is always in pain or im fatigued. It’s a wonder i get anything done#I think im suffering from senioritis even though i still have grad school#i’m just so so tired#my prof was wearing a mask last class which isn’t normal in my area and like. good on her for wearing it but if she’s sick she shouldn’t#come to school#idk why (actually i do it’s capitalism) it’s so normalized to keep going to school and work even if you’re sick#like you can’t miss for menstrual cramps or allergies even if they get debilitating. can’t miss for a mental health crisis#i’ve had coworkers throw up mid shift and keep working bc they can’t afford to clock out#i feel like it’s only acceptable to stay home sick if you’re continuously throwing up aka not useful for the business#ugh#rose.txt#tw vent
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Not gonna lie, having a sleep schedule around school is insane, because like ill get super tired and mentally go 'oh shit oh fuck is it 11? midnight??' and look up and it's like 9 or 9:30
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i think.......... and i know this will come as such a shock to everyone......... that i am getting sick again
#sick blogging#actually im so tired of this LMAO#cant believe im gna have to go to MORE specialists when i get home im so tired of spending money on medical bills#i just wanna finish my book 😭#but i have a headache
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day three: official art
prompt list here
#god im so tired and drained#i wanna go home#mp100#mob psycho 100#art#sketch#botato art :D#terukiweek2024#teruki hanazawa#hanazawa teruki#digital art
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where's that "'sam tops!' 'no dean tops!' neither top, they both have ED" post
#im tired of this damned argument grandpa i wanna go home#i put them both in my penis explosion chamber now theres naught but viscera there
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#sungbeam strikes again#🙁🙁🙁#thanksgiving break is in ONE WEEK i just want to go home 😭😭😭#I WANT TO SLEEP ON MY OWN COUCH AND BOTHER MY MOTHER IN PERSON PLS I WANNA GO HOME IM TIRED 😭😭😭
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#probably my last sunny walk at home :(#keeeeellll meeeee#i think one of the things i hate about going back to uni is not being able to experience autumn and winter at home like i used to#it’s weird because i’ve always loved them and considered them my favourite seasons.#but last year (and now this year) i’m realizing that oh! i think it’s because i got to come home after a long day and be in a safe familiar#space. and at uni everything is still a bit unfamiliar and not very comforting so the long cold days get so much harder#but i will surviveeeeeee#counting on gilmore girls to get me through it!! and also love is blind s7. i LOVE having things to look forward to every week it makes tim#fly by so fast. last yr every friday night was reserved for me and i ate frozen pizza or takeout and/or my favourite snacks and#watch my comfort films :( i cooked a lot those nights too 2 save money but yeah. it was rlly nice to have that comfy safe time to myself#i think it rlly got me thru uni.#ik it’s gonna be so hard to get back into a routine but im trying to tell myself that i need to like. focus on the basics first. adulting#can be so hard & i wanna do everything at once! i wanna b perfect in all areas. always do my hobbies. etc etc but i#i couldnt even get out of bed to make myself meals sometimes 💔 so i need to like remember if i don’t journal or read a whole book in a day#not the end of the world. and most importantly i need to be EATING and staying active and SLEEPING FIRST and foremost cause then hopefully#i won’t feel like a zombie.#okay anyways.#feeling sad feeling tired feeling unmotivated but also feeling a teensy bit excited for finally BEING ALONE!!!!#i have my cardiologist appt tmrw so maybe that’s why i feel so yuck also. just thinking abt it makes me wanna throw up#i hope everything goes well#anyways bye bye#♡ dear diary��
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me @ my pain flared self that got up at 7:30am: you know you could simply. not go to a party at your best friend‘s place with a whole bunch of people you don’t know who will probably be loud and drunk in the middle of the night and instead simply go to sleep and hopefully wake up not aching
also me: :) maybe socialising will cure the pain and the tireds :)
#i’ll report back. this is a bad idea. i should stay home. but also i wanna go there. but also i wanna sleep.#im the world‘s most tired person. who’s also aching. i took some ibu and that’s gonna mesh so well with the imminent alcohol :)))#in my defence tho socialising sometimes does cure the pains and the tireds#fingers crossed ig!
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