#im tired of living through historical moments

[starship-you]

So I just wanna say orange man is falling out of the news despite surely hogging the limelight at the RNC as a Van Gogh cosplayer, and Im actually kinda terrified to see what hes gonna do next. Dont get me wrong, Biden dropping out is only good for dems since basically everyone knows he's a limp noodle, and honestly this decision makes me respect him at least a little bit, but what is Trump gonna do to get attention now? We had literally Y2K one-up his entire week, and he's known to incite insurrections for attention.

My money's on making every sexist comment he can to disparage his new rival, getting Musk to announce something stupid like "if Trump wins I'll do the fortnite dance on the moon", and probably a SCOTUS judge randomly vacating or dying.

[fiveswashere]

Don’t mind me. I’m in crisis mode and reblogging to escape it

[helpallthenamesaretaken]

EPISODE 5……..🥺

Right off the bat, i love the idea of percy’s forehead peeking out of the water, like the mysterious mermaid he is

Annabeth was the best part of the episode as always

Thought they were gonna talk more about thalia percy parallels grover just looked a lil tad distressed and that was it but whatever

Percy and his lil ‘hi’s will never stop being funny

the usual “i thought annabeth was gonna punch me but she was actually nice to me guys who would’ve thought someone would be happy to see me” narrative still shining through WITH THE HUG PLS CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW SWEET THE HUG WAS

grover’s so confused like “literally an hour ago you guys hated each other….am i missing out on some plot point”

dude was ‘looking for new tickets in the st. Louis arch as if they were going to be on the floor lying somewhere💀

Percy’s face when he addresses grover after the hug, he’s so proud someone actually hugged him 🥹his face is just like “hey grover look SHE’S HUGGING ME🥺”

Can I just say the writing for percy is perfect

like he’s so 50% there like he’s so good at communicating and asking what’s wrong and trying to understand the other person’s feelings (sally jackson’s son for you) but at the same time he has NEVER had a friend before so he ends up embarrassing himself 😂😭

”im pretty sure that’s what friends do” “….at least i think that’s what they do” pls 😭

grover’s face too help you’re already tired of being third wheel???oh honey this is THE FIRST HALF OF THE FIRST BOOK get comfortable

not their lil heads popping out and going back in. Peak comedy right there

Seriously adam did reallyyyyyy good as ares. Theres no one else i can imagine anymore as ares. The delicateness of his ‘good mood’ as if it is gonna break any second, the rage and fury but at the same time being extremely funny???

the diner looks so cosy it’s so cute

was kinda missing some percy rage in this but it comes out at the last so its fine

The real reason for grover to be so okay staying back is not the strategy of getting answers out of ares but because of how tired he was of taking care of annabeth and percy.

I feel like they should be showing luke more (later on they will, i have faith) im already forgetting about him it wont hit as hard if i dont remember him

Percy “ive not seen many movies since im broke” jackson x annabeth “ive never seen a movie since i live in a magical camp” chase

but the fact that annabeth’s never seen a movie kinda erases the fact that later on in hoo, annabeth talks about watching cheesy old romance movies with her father which kinda contributes to their dynamic but

the fact that percy would probably be the first one to take her to the movies makes me not care

honestly tho IM REALLY REALLY HOPING THAT THEIR FIRST MOVIE WONT BE THE ONE AT THE START OF BOTL I’d rage as much as annabeth when i see percy with rachel (not that im a rachel hater, im a circumstances hater)

grover is such a good therapist, like he is THE EMPATH. He tripped the god of war into talking about his life this is a grover appreciation post

annabeth zoning out with fascination at the mechanics and also i love the “percy being done with annabeth” representation

i cant see anything so nothing to say here

SEAWEED BRAIN THIS IS A HISTORICAL MOMENT IN PJOTV HISTORY THE FIRST SEAWEED-

grover manipulating ares through his emotions>>>>>

also ares roasting athena

Percy sacrificing himself AGAIN like the depressed kid he is

annabeth immediately reassuring percy that she would save his mom the character developmentttttttt from being inconsiderate about percy losing his mom to promising that she would save the lady EVEN THOUGH SHE BARELY KNEW HER

This is giving me too many feelings guys the lady she’s promising to save is the lady who will be the best mother figure who will singlehandedly heal her mommy issues AND BECOME HER MOTHER IN LAW

“Its warm” i thought this was gonna be the last thing he says before whatever was gonna happen to him so i was like lol famous last words

but fr tho the intenseness of annabeth crying for percy to GET UP and percy’s just fading out of the world trying not to cry trying to reassure annabeth that he’s okay IN WHAT WOULD BE HIS LAST FEW WORDS, literally everything he does is for someone else even in his dying moments its just magelhi”gdsjihoawerhoudfjls

especially with the “im not…..” [okay] lol we have always known that percy, it aint a big surprise

i got to applaud leah for how she portrayed annabeth’s brain chemistry altering every minute with percy and how that influenced her speech with hephaestus

i cant believe thats leo’s dad hes giving santa claus i do like him tho

Now that i think about it the percabeth hug should have been after percy comes back to life not after the louis arch scene since they were just starting to have two minutes of chemistry there and have the “you dont have to feel bad about the hug” in the zebra truck scene

percy trying to intimidate ares lolllll walker scobell did his best to make it look real tho so good for him for not representing it as it was; a lil 12 year old child threatening a wrestler looking god of war

”Thanks for the emotional abuse and the cheeseburgers” will forever be in the cinema hall of fame

i feel like grover either is going to say the wrong person or he’s going to figure out it’s luke but something’s going to stop him from saying it out loud

or he’ll say it which causes some angst amongst the team who dont trust him cuz both annabeth and percy worship luke like there’s no tomorrow

RAINBOW?? OHH THEYRE GONNA IRIS MESSAGE LUKE??

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA

[portmantaur]

on a personal note, im very tired of living through so many major historical/political moments like this. i would like at least a small chunk of time where shit is kind of just boring. not actively declining or lit up in a flashbang type of way. just a little boring, as a treat maybe.

[rommahh]

Love On Tour…Actually

{Im sorry for how late this was. I went to the show Friday and honestly, it was the best day of my life. I had a little PCD which made me super unmotivated but I’m back. I love you all, R}

You woke up a little grumpy, you won’t lie. You didn’t like waking up alone especially on a show day. It made you uncomfortable to be left to your own devices without any structure or schedule. You understood that Harry was a busy man but it would’ve been nice to receive some text so you could plan your day accordingly.

Sitting on the couch in the lounge of your hotel room, you chowed down on leftover pasta while watching Netflix on your iPad. You had yet to receive a text from Harry even though you had texted him hours ago when you woke up. It was hard to tell if he was ignoring you out of anger or if he was simply just lost in track. Either way you felt dejected.

On the other hand, Harry hadn’t even noticed that he iced you. He was busy running around Nashville trying to get things ready for tonight’s show. He bought you a new dress and shoes, and got the ring fitted. It was hard to figure out your ring size but he end up measuring your finger when you were passed out asleep in bed last night. When you slept, you slept and he knew that would be the perfect time to measure your finger.

Harry was so busy that morning, that by the end of his errands he realized he didn’t even have time to go back to the hotel before rehearsals. He was sporting a small cough and his vocal chords felt overworked but that’s all apart of tour.

Pulling his phone out of his back pocket as he walked into the arena, he dialed your number quickly. He had people trying to talk to him but he paid them no mind.

“Oh? Would you look who’s here?” Harry’s head shot up to the sound of your voice. There you sat on his dressing room couch, arms crossed over one another as you glared at him. Your gaze burned through him and he could just tell he was in trouble.

“Hello lovie.” Harry rasped.

“Harry you sound like shit but here you are up and about running around. You should’ve slept in this morning.” Scolding as you stand up to walk in front of him. Harry could feel the anger radiate off of you but you hid it well. He melted into your hands that cupped his warm cheeks.

“I had a lot of errands to run and I didn’t want to wake you. Also it’s just a sore throat from singing and traveling- comes with being on tour.” He mumbles dropping his head into your neck. You caress the hairs on the back on his neck and massage the tense muscles.

“You’ve got to think about yourself more, Harry. You have a show to put on but you can’t put on your best show if you’re not at your best. I am not happy with you at all.” Even though your words were scolding him, you held him your arms in the most soothing way. That’s what Harry loved about you, you cared for him like no one else could (aside from his mom). You could tell him off with your harshest words but he’d always feel your love from miles away.

“You’re right love, sorry for not keeping in touch today.” You hum in acknowledgement. You both pulled away from each other when his driver walked in with Harry’s abundance of bags. “Thank you, sir.”

“What all did you buy?” You ask walking towards the bags. Harry’s arm shot out in front of you making you stop. You looked up at him in shock. “Fine be secretive.”

You huffed before making your way back to the couch. Harry rolled his eyes at you, making way to his shopping bags. Plucking the bag from Nordstrom he plopped it down on the table in front of you.

“I just didn’t want you snooping at some other stuff. I bought you this, for tonight.” He sat down beside you, thighs touching leaving no room between you two.

“Im not trying to be mean. Just a little peeved that you left this morning without telling me. You also have a cold and I wanna take care of you since you won’t do it.” A hand rubs his forehead luring his eyes shut.

“Sorry baby, I thank you for caring so much.” He whispers sleepily.

“Im always gonna care for my bubs.” Kissing him on the lips, your turn your attention to the bag. The small grey bag had light tissue paper covering the product within the bag. The tissue falls to the floor as you dig into the bag. A silky champagne dress, folded neatly to decrease wrinkles, sits in the bag. The dress was soft and you knew it was loose enough to give you the room to dance. Soft snores escaped the boy beside you- the exhaustion evident on his face.

You pull the dress out of the bag and walk over to where his outfit of the night hung. The dress was hung beside his to be steamed for later. Turning around, you smile at the sight of your curled up boyfriend. Your heart hurt knowing that in a few minutes he would have to go rehearse.

Harry sleepily went through rehearsals sitting in a chair the whole time. He knew his stage cues and performance, he only had one more thing to rehearse but it required for you to not be in the room. He gave one look to Jeff to signal him to get you out. Jeff made up some excuse saying that he needed help with some social media post for the show.

Before the show, there was a catered dinner from some local restaurant. Harry ate a light meal of fresh vegetables and a sweet iced tea which has grown on him having lived in the states for some years. You ate grilled chicken and fries enjoying the free food. The two of you ate alone in his dressing room- wanting a moment of piece before the crazy.

“How are you feeling?” You ask Harry. He shrugs, he was more nervous than anything but you wouldn’t understand why if he had told that to you. He felt floaty. Tonight would be a game changer, a step in a whole new direction. This is something he’s wanted to do for years now but it’s finally happening, and he’s scared.

"Im ok, a little tired but what else is new. I can't wait to sleep all night and cuddle with you." He grabs your hand from across the table. you squeeze it, frowning at his revelation.

"I don't like that you're so tired." You worry, his hand squeezes yours in reassurance.

“Im ok, it’s all apart if the job.” He looks down to your bare ring finger, thumb brushing over the empty spot. Your nails were done in your favorite way, some funky pattern you found from Pinterest all painted on short coffin nails.

“I love you Harry and I’m so proud of you. I know that these years put us both in a bad place mentally but I’m happy of where we are now.” Harry could almost tear up to your words. They settled into his mind, resonating. He was making the perfect decision and you solidified that ideal.

2014

Harry didn’t know how they did it. A show every night, a new state everyday, a new country every few months- he was burnt out. He was tired of shared tour buses and the lack of autonomy. Last nights LA show was amazing, the crowd was amazing, the energy was amazing- so why did he feel so horrid?

He walked around in The Grove, security guards walking in front and behind him. He wanted a peaceful day alone but here they were. Fans watched suspiciously trying to decipher if it was Harry or not. His hat and sunglasses were obviously not the disguise he thought they would be.

As the whispers got louder, his heart started to flurry more. Panic seeped into his veins as he looked for an escape. Bolting in the Barnes and Nobles- security guards close behind- Harry asked for the employees to close shop just for a moment. Harry only needed a moment to get a car near by to escape to. Feeling overwhelmed, Harry hid.

In between the historical fiction and romance aisle is where he sat. Head between his knees, trying to catch his breathe.

“Are you ok?” A voice asked from above him. His head whipped up in shock. Standing there was you, three books clutched between your arms. Adjusting your dress you dropped down to the floor in front of him.

“I-im fine, tired but fine.” He replied. He looked different than he did the night before, you thought. Last night, he was energetic and full of life and now, now you saw a boy whose exhaustion overpowered him.

“You here for any books?” You were just trying to change the subject, something you did with yourself when you had panic attacks.

“Oh no, I don’t-“ he stuttered shaking his head. You smiled at him before pulling a book from your stack. The fault In Our Stars, your new favorite.

“I love this book, one of my favorites. Heard a movie is coming out too so that’s fun.” You joke. Harry’s relaxed slightly, you nestled closer to him. Opening the book, you began reading, your gentle voice calming Harry.

At the start of chapter four, an interruption pulled you both away. Harry’s security guard told Harry that a car was waiting and the perimeter of the store was clear. Harry nodded telling the guard to give him five more minutes.

“I guess this is it.” You mumble closing your book. Harry nods but makes no move to leave. Something clicks in him as he looks at your face again.

“You were at the concert last night, meet and greet?” He muses.

“Yeah, One Direction is my favorite band. My friend bought our vip tickets for my birthday. Best night ever.” You say quietly, scared that he might think that you’re some obsessed fan.

“Oh, well I’m glad you enjoyed the show….so why didn’t you freak out today or- or expose where I was?”

“You’re a human being, just like me. You get nervous, frustrated, and sad just like me. You get panic attacks just like. Who am I to treat you differently?” Your words did so much for Harry. “Now don’t get me wrong, you’re my favorite in the band, but I don’t idolize you nor do I wish to be in your position cause I know it must be hard.”

“It is. Hard, I mean, really really hard. I love my job but I’m tired.” The silence you two shared burned a connection between you two. “This may be weird but could I have your number? I like talking to you and I wanna hear more of this book.”

Placing your hand made bookmark in the book, you closed in and gently placed it on Harry’s lap. “Have it. I have one at home and if you still want to talk about it- I’ll give you my number.”

Harry stills as the book sits in his lap. “I want to talk to you about the book.”

After exchanging numbers, Harry was urged by you to go. Walking side by side to the door, you were separated by his security.

“Harry, don’t let this keep hurting you. Find the joy and grasp on to it.”

You turned out to be his joy. Calls every night after shows and different books being read together, you both gravitated towards each other. Everyday was a new day to grow closer together. He invited you to more concerts, paying for every ticket because he just needed to be with you.

The show was going beautifully. Harry looked amazing in stage in all white and most fans were captivated by your outfit too. It worried you to see Harry so exhausted on stage but you knew he would stick it through like he always does. Proud was an understatement in your eyes. Harry made you more than proud.

You stood in the back of the watermelon pit at the end of the aisle where his stage stopped a few feet away. Jeff stood beside you like he normally did but he was acting suspicious. You two never stood on the side of Harry’s exit but this is where Jeff said you’d get the best view tonight.

Harry sang his final ‘we’ll be alright’ before doing his stage stroll and bows, but instead of finishing in the middle of the stage- he went down stage to the place he normally exits to at the end of the night. You watched in confusion, along with the crowd, as he walked down the steps to you. The crowd erupted in screams as the lights focused on where you were standing.

“What are you doing?” You asked with large eyes of shock. You felt your heart stop in your chest. The crowd getting louder by the moment. Harry walked closer to you, one hand digging into his pocket while his eyes focused on your face. You couldn’t place what was happening but you’re eyes welled with even more tears nonetheless. Jeff was to the side with a huge smile and his phone out to capture the moment.

“Y/N, my love, my light, the best thing that has happened to me,” he didn’t have his mic on so the crowd couldn’t hear him but you could hear him perfectly. As if you two were the only ones in the large arena, you could only see Harry. “From the moment I met you in the bookstore, I knew you were meant to be in my life. Somehow you took me from my darkest place and guided me to my lightest.

I know our lives have been hard but we’ve always found a way to be alright. I want that for the rest of my life. I want you to be by my side for the rest of my life, so will you please, my love, marry me?”

You gave him no time to answer as you yanked him up by his arm. You wept as you exclaimed loud yeses, yeses that could be heard by a few fans who screamed in excitement igniting the rest of the crowd to scream. Harry picked you up in his arms, throwing one arm out to wave at the crowd before bounding backstage.

“Oh my god Harry!” You exclaimed as he set you down. He only had a few minutes to talk so you kept it quick. You pulled his face down to your kissing his lips. This kiss pulled you both deeper into each other.

He pulled away making you whine. “I gotta go back but I promise you’ll get it all tonight. I can’t believe you said yes. I love you so much.”

Harry’s energy multiplied by 100 going back on stage. He even went as far as to explain what watermelon sugar was about. Remembering when the song was made, it made your legs clench together- a pulse overwhelming your lower regions.

Looking down at your hand, you could feel yourself tear up again at the ring he bought you. It fit perfectly in your hand, you remember him measuring your hand that night even though he thought you were asleep. The thought of your future made your heart swell. A future with new music, a wedding, a nice house, and babies made your heart swell. This was something you couldn’t wait for.

Harry found his joy in you but he never knew about the joy he was to your dark life.

[9tzuyu]

til death do us part

request:

note: nowhere near my best work. i found it really hard to write this due to lack of motivation so im going to consider this a scrap.

does anyone have any mental health requests? i can see if i can write them :p

warnings: character death, angst. kinda cliché. feels rushed. sorry its bad :/ not proofread, any mistakes are mine.

🏷: @c-is-writing sorry fren this one sucks

. . .

you tried to warn her, scare her off into never getting close to you by being as mean and cruel as you could possibly be, but that never worked out with natasha. if anything your acts of self defense only drew her in closer.

even when you told her you were bound to die and spending any time with you was a waste didn’t turn her away. all that followed was morning breakfasts and afternoon walks in the middle of new york.

natasha knew, she just wasn’t ready. all the years spent around you never quite prepared her for the one thing she should’ve already accepted.

it was only a matter of time before the side effects of your powers started to kick in. all your life you’d hoped to live past thirty-five like the miracle stories you’d heard about. historically, other x-men with your disease had lived to be well into their sixties before finally passing.

but that just wasn’t the case for you – not when you were twenty seven and coughing up blood from your lungs.

natasha wiped your mouth before tossing the used tissue into the trash. she brushed her fingernails into your hair, placing a kiss above your eye.

“how can i help you?” she analyzed your body, doing her best to hide the hurt she felt at your weakened state.

“just stay.”

natasha kissed the palm of your hand, “always. do you you need anything right now though? water? juice? a snack?”

“wanna lay in bed with me? i’m cold.”

she nodded, resting her head on your chest. your heartbeat was slower than the day before. the few thumps it made reminded natasha of all the soft mornings she’d spent waking up to you next to her. her mouth trailing down on your breast flashed briefly through her mind. then it was the feeling of holding you as your forehead rest against her chin while you slept peacefully. those were her favorite mornings to wake up to.

unfortunately natasha knew days like that were only coming to an end. you could hardly walk on your own, your hands were shaky and mostly, you were tired.

“i wish there was a cure…” you caught her mumble despite her not wanting you to actually hear it.

“someday, natasha. for now just think about how cool i was before getting sick. my powers were so much better than captain america’s stupid shield.”

the redhead hummed in agreement. “yeah, they were. i just wish your powers didn’t end up poisoning your body like they’re doing now.”

“nat-” but she didn’t want to hear it, instead focusing her mind on something more positive.

“y/n?”

“yes, darling?”

“what’s something you’ve always wanted to do?”

she watched you ponder for a moment. “i don’t know. i’ve already done so much in my lifetime, you know? i’ve helped saved the world three times now, i’ve rescued a bus of children from getting caught in the middle of train tracks, i’ve been to outer space, i’ve toured just about every tourist attraction you can think of… i guess the only thing i haven’t done is get married.”

“do you want to get married?”

“it’s the only thing i’ve ever dreamed of, natasha.” you whispered, fighting the tiredness settling in your eyes.

“well then it’s settled, sweetheart. we’ll get married next week.” she confirmed.

“when i was kid i used to daydream about having a wedding. marrying the person i loved most seemed so impossible to me, but here you are. consider me the luckiest person in the world.”

natasha nuzzled her face into your neck. “did you have a certain wedding style in mind?” you scrunched your nose, giggling at the memory you had as a kid.

“when i was little i always wanted dogs at my wedding. i still want that. everything else is secondary.”

“dogs. got it. oh– what kind of dogs? big pups or small ones?” natasha asked, pulling out her phone to type everything down in her notes app.

“all dogs are welcome, just as long as they’re nice to each other of course. i do want a black and tan beagle mix there, that’s the only other ‘requirement’ i’d want for the perfect wedding.”

“gotcha.” you watched her type everything down before falling into silence. she circled your tummy with her index finger.

“we’re going to have the perfect wedding.”

but next week never came.

three days after your conversation, natasha woke up to you already gone. she held your funeral instead of the beautiful wedding she’d planned for.

grief settled in her heart permanently. it wasn’t something you’d want for her, she knew that, but you weren’t here to tell her otherwise.

natasha found the dumbest things to be upset over. two months after your death and she still found it hard to look at dogs. and even if she knew it was stupid, dogs still brought tears to the ex assassin’s eyes.

all it did was remind her of the fact that she couldn’t fulfill your dying wish. the only things that remained of you were pictures and videos, some clothing and a journal you tucked away from her while you were still alive. natasha only knew now that it was full of everything you loved about her, something she’d never be able to repay.

mourning your death was one off the most excruciating things natasha ever allowed herself to go through. but for the time being, she held onto every piece left of you as close to her heart as she could.

[lesbianmarrow]

i dont feel like making my usual posts about legends of tomorrow 6.03 “the ex-factor” and 6.04 “bay of squids” so i’m just gonna do bullet points 

6.03: 

i still love constantine and zari together but im getting a little tired of seeing them making out with each other. its like ok we get it i just dont need to see it. really funny when behrad came in with his hand over his eyes. me too dude. i did really like their sort of vibe of how they both do have feelings for each other but just aren’t going to admit it. what i didn’t like so much was the melodrama that followed, with constantine feeling hurt that zari told her mother what they had wasn’t serious. and then him telling her that he does want a serious relationship with her. it just didn’t feel like constantine, to be honest. i think that a lot of the fun of constantine’s character is that he will never really change for the better - in that way he’s very suited to comic books, where the status quo tends to prevail and there’s no guarantee character development will last longer than a particular run. but legends of tomorrow doesn’t want a static character like that, so they are changing him in this way. it’s fine, it’s sweet to see, but it’s not what i love about constantine 

zari having to deal with her mom trying to set her up with various persian guys and get her married hit close to home for me LOL. hasnt happened to me personally but i have plenty of friends & relatives who have to deal with that and it sucks 

i liked seeing zari shift back into superstar mode and i also liked that they showed a hijabi girl as one of the fans squealing over her. i just thought that was a nice allusion to how zari would be such an icon for lots of muslim girls. it sort of complicates constantine’s assumption that zari’s influencer content has no real value for the fans and is just a way to sell them stuff 

nate & behrad giving constantine a makeover was really funny

i liked when zari called ava by a nickname. they are besties!!!! i need to see more bestie moments with them

i liked how for zari’s first song the audio was super flawless as though she had recorded the song beforehand and was just lip synching but for her later song you can kind of hear the more crackly live quality with the microphone. good way to make that second one feel more raw and real. it was a really adorable duet i gotta say :p 

i thought the overall plot with the alien trying to invade and the legends having to defeat him through song was hilarious. and when he opened his suit and he was just a little guy. and mick STEPPED on him and KILLED him. so silly love this show 

i liked seeing how mick was having a rough time dealing with sara’s absence. because he feels like she’s the only one who understands him and without her he feels defeated and aimless. it’s totally opposite to how ava is dealing with sara’s absence, which is to exhaust every possible option to find her because if she stops to consider the possibility that it might be hopeless then it will break her. nice to see spooner getting through to mick, seems like they could become good friends

almost forgot to talk about gary and sara. gary is omnisexual bc he is omnomnoming people. so glad that sara could tell that the ava she encountered was not her ava

6.04: 

it’s soooo funny to me that phil klemmer wrote this episode himself. i feel like it’s been forever that he wrote an episode. i’m sure he was like pleeeease let me write this one and the writers room was like uh sure phil. it has all those historical references that you assume someone like him who’s into history would love

the episode is also just kind of like....farcical in a way that i find really hilarious. like the cuban missile crisis was obviously very serious at the time but i feel like the extremely high tension of this situation makes the humor land all the better. i like how the legends’ deceptions and subterfuge sort of mirror the political games being played between the various nations involved in this event. and the miscommunications like mick and spooner delivering a nuclear missile to castro when they definitely should not have done that

nate and zari storyline was fine, not my favorite, but i can see how it would make sense to have this storyline where they figure out how to be friends even though zari looks like nate’s ex. the football stuff was a bit silly but that’s okay. it’s legends it’s allowed to be silly

i thought mick’s trajectory in this episode was good. how he starts out so serious and then when it doesn’t work out he reverts back to his apathetic drunk self but then he is the key to finding a way to sara even though it means kicking everyone else off the waverider to hang out with this alien lady. i still think mick is gay but i’m okay with alien lady as a love interest for him. i mean the inherent queerness of alien fucking and all that

ava’s fake russian accent was so silly

[babycharmander]

I KNOW IT'S TWO DAYS LATE NOW BUT I'M DOING ONE MORE I DON'T CARE!! I wanted to recommend some fics! But I'm gonna specifically be recommending some that I haven't seen anyone recommend yet, so here we go!

Fic title: Las Memorias by abelrunner (@wee-chlo) What it's about: A fic showing some snippets of Héctor's afterlife as he's slowly forgotten, and also a bit post-movie. What I like the most about it: This was a much older fic in the fandom and one that introduced a headcanon I quite liked--that the dead can feel when someone who remembers them is forgotten. It's also got a very nice, brief look at Héctor's afterlife and the friends he made in Shantytown. The OCs in it are good too! Favorite scene: It's SO HARD to say for this fic because there's so many good ones. But there's one specific moment in the fic where each of Héctor's family members says something (I won't spoil it because it's a great moment) and it about destroyed me. Why other people should read it: If you want a really good oneshot about Héctor's afterlife and also some really good moments with his family, you should definitely read this. Other thoughts: This one influenced some of my own headcanons, haha. It's good!

Fic title: Elegy by @dogbearinggifts What it's about: An AU where Imelda is cursed and sent to the Land of the Dead, where she encounters a recently-dead Ernesto as well as Héctor, and... things play out from there. What I like the most about it: Living!Imelda interacting with dead!Héctor was really cool. It's also just an overall very cool way of showing how the story could have gone. Favorite scene: The scene where Imelda and Héctor realize what really happened. Why other people should read it: If you want to read a really fascinating AU and see some really well-written interaction between Imelda and Héctor.

Fic Title: For Whom the Bell Tolls by @im-fairly-whitty What it's about: Ernesto decides to settle some unfinished business in the Land of the Living post-movie. What I like the most about it: This is one of the first fics I recall that dealt with Ernesto's character development post-movie, and it does a pretty good job of it. Favorite scene: Héctor and Ernesto's conversation. I don't want to spoil it--it needs to be read. Why other people should read it: If you want to read something Ernesto-centric, this is a really good one!

Fic Title: Ojos Que No Ven by @endless-existential-crisis What it's about: Post-movie, Miguel dies in a tragic accident, and is taken care of by his dead family. What I like the most about it: In spite of its tragic premise, it's an incredibly sweet fic. There's a lot of really wonderful moments between Miguel and his family, though also a lot of sad ones too. Very well written overall. Favorite scene: Héctor and Miguel singing together! Why other people should read it: If you want some angst and h/c and Miguel interacting with the dead Riveras post-movie, this is a great fic. Other thoughts: It is currently unfinished, but what's there is still very much worth reading! Fic title: Recuérdame (Remember Me) by Xandynz What it's about: A universe alteration in which Miguel does NOT get cursed, but instead discovers Héctor is his real great-great-grandfather, and begins to unravel the mystery. What I like the most about it: THE STYLE IS SO COOL OH MY GOSH!!! If you've read Ernesto de la Cruz VS The Court of Public Opinion (which by the way is also an absolutely fantastic must-read fic), it's kinda like that, but with even MORE variety in the types of formats it uses. The story unfolds through a variety of formats--Reddit posts, news articles, text messages, and so on. It's SO COOL. (I think this type of fic is called an "epistolary"?) Favorite scene: I don't know that I could choose just one--every chapter is a surprise with how the story unfolds. Why other people should read it: It's a really cool UA (where, while Miguel avoids going to the LotD, things DON'T end tragically for Héctor) and seriously the style is so cool it really needs to be read. Other thoughts: This one is unfinished! I have no idea if it will continue, but it's still worth reading!

Fic title: Who Tells Your Story by @papergardener What it's about: Post-movie (pre-epilogue), while Héctor and Imelda are still in the middle of reconciling, the media is hounding Héctor and writing up a lot of sketchy articles about his past in the Land of the Dead. Imelda has a lot of questions, and Héctor is not the best at answering them. What I like the most about it: This is SUCH a detailed look at Héctor's afterlife--all the original characters have so much depth, and the historic details are really, really cool. A lot of research really went into this fic and it shows. It also covers some really heavy topics in a very respectful way. Also the way it's presented--we often see the tabloid articles and hear Héctor's shoddy explanations before we see the flashbacks, leaving both the reader AND Imelda wondering about things before they’re really revealed, so there's a lot of "OHHH" moments, as well as "OH... OH NO!!!!" moments throughout the fic. Favorite scene: Oh gosh it's really hard to say. I like the flashback with Héctor and Maris (the second part of it specifically), but I also like the moment where Héctor evades the press and mulls over how he's going to talk to Imelda about things (and winds up talking to a goat alebrije at one point, haha). Why other people should read it: If you're okay with reading some really heavy angst and dark subject matter, and/or you want a really really detailed look at Héctor's past, and/or Héctor and Imelda trying to navigate their relationship around all the post-movie chaos, you should probably check out this one! Other thoughts: HEED THE TAGS AND WARNINGS!! Also, fic is not finished yet, but you should still absolutely read it!

Fic title: Bitter Sweet Symphony by @tomato-bitch What it's about: Pre-movie, Héctor attempts to confront Ernesto and things go... poorly. Long story short, Héctor winds up as Ernesto's personal assistant, and it's... not the most enjoyable job, to be sure. What I like the most about this fic: This is such a different premise, and it's very well written. It's honestly kindof a nightmarish situation (being stuck in a massively stressful job that you have zero training for), but you really, really want to see Héctor succeed (and get some sleep, please get some sleep man). There's also a lot of really really good OCs in this one! And also Héctor essentially gets assigned a pigeon alebrije assistant and she's great. Favorite scene: Aaah this one's hard to say but I really like the scene where Héctor gets to go to the staff party. Other thoughts: Fic is still in-progress, but still absolutely worth reading!

Aaand that's all I've got for now! There's others I could recommend but I am Tired. @__@; But I wanted to highlight some fics I really like that I didn't see get recommended on Saturday, so... here we are!

OKAY I'M DONE NOW! Thanks again to everyone who participated in the event on Saturday!

[lady-plantagenet]

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 1: CamelNOT

[Lively Music Plays]

I shit you not... that’s what it said in the CCs.

Tower of London (?)

*Catherine looks at the array of crowns like a museum curator and the proceeds to strut down the halls*

Wolsey: *gives her this strange look which is a mixture between damn girl and the eagle is my spirit animal.

Then Catherine gets fake detained and taken to Henry in what must be a strange variation of the whole Robin Hood/Maid Marian roleplay they historically engaged in.

... did she just call his erhm manhood his kingship? Well that’s original, I’ll give them that. Also funny how Bessie Blount initially looks on in fright... don’t worry girl that will be you soon.

———————————————————————

*the four ladies have a brunch friendship moment together*

I see Blount is among them... I see they are setting her up as Catherine’s friend in order to play up the whole betrayal.

Alright. Jokes aside, I realised how much I’ve played myself. I was inspired by @melusineloriginale ‘s sporks (which if all this TSP episode posts got you in the mood for PG show mockery I urge you to check out here - you’ll thank me later). In truth, Henry VIII’s early reign is a bit too late from my main area of focus for me to make intelligent jokes.

I’ll content myself with just bullet-pointing random thoughts that came into my head, and if some intelligent thought gets through, well that would be the pinnacle. In any case I’ll aim to not parrot some of the stuff that’s already been said, repetition can get annoying.

This image embodies this post, but maybe not the show. I’ve noticed those Starz productions get better by the end.

First Scenes:

- The recap just reminded me how much I will miss Margaret Beaufort in the coming episodes. I know her portrayal was innacurate but Harriet Walter just made everything better.

- They are making such a big deal out of this whole ‘we were crowned together, we rule together’ thing in this episode - it makes no sense. Catherine was an influential Queen but she was definitely no more than a consort and never saw herself as more.

- Ruairi’s new haircut is pleasing to my eyes.

- When she says ‘Abuelo’ it’s super adorable awww

The Ferdinand and Charles V scene:

- Bessie Blount looks so much like Ursula Pole lmao. Also they totally got the Pole children’s birth order wrong and UGH WHERE IS GEOFFREY POLE???

- I like Mary Tudor’s actress and her facial expressions. However, this whole polyglot image they are representing is innacurate. I am fairly certain she knew no spanish and I recall reading a contemporary account which said that she was not very learned.

- I’m pretty sure it would be considered bad luck to prematurely crown your son ‘Henry IX’ while you’re still alive.

- I actually like the whole Grape motif in this episode. It’s probably the smartest thing they’ve come up with so far for this episode. I know a lot of you will be all like ‘there’s no record of Ferdinand being abusive’ but this choice sort of makes sense when you recall Joanna’s treatment. Also I appreciate them for not being tacky and showing flashbacks of more overt abuse eg physical. The sugared grape is also fairly symbolic (the sugar is like a gilding, the grape easily crushable)

- OMG the guy from Garrow’s law is playing Thomas More!

- AND PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME IM NOT SEEING THINGS? Margaret Pole x Thomas More is happening?? Please god that is a historical crackship I am getting behind. Yes. This is what I’m most invested about.

Margaret Tudor and Scotland Scene:

- The whole ironic cutaway to Margaret being all depressed after Charles Brandon’s statement about her charming Scottish king is such a cliché movie technique.

- If this were a more artsy film I would think the whole setup resembling a stereotypical middle-class family breakfast was done on purpose for humorous effects or to create a link with the past. But here I don’t have as much trust in the producers. I think they just failed to capture the time period accurately.

- The modernisms continue: ‘Negassi please stop playing’ idk, there just something so modern about this for some reason ahaha

- Also again, I’m getting tired of all this ‘Catherine is basically queen herself’, ‘Catherine is a political genius’, ‘Catherine Catherine Catherine’ ugh. I don’t think the producers understand that Henry VIII was a very autocratic and traditional ruler. He didn’t make any show of joint-rulership (correct me if I’m wrong).

- The teeth thing is funny, smart and I liked it.

Back to Westminster:

- I like Ferdinand’s actor!

- Also Catherine’s response to ‘who are you loyal to?’ was not that smart. I feel like the producers wanted us to be impressed. What if Spain and England’s interests conflict, ey??

The Joust:

- I care too much for the whole Margaret Pole plotline. I’m so invested.

- I could watch a series of More and Pole just exchanging lines. I love the actors too and this is my hope for this series. The whole frustrated parents is SO CUTE.

- I didn’t know More tutored Reggie, I would be curious to know more.

- The way compton says groom to queen’s stool is freaking hilarious. He looks like a pervert.

- Henry Pole is a darling and must be protected at all costs.

- Oh Christ oh Christ that eyeball shot was just... good job on the special effects guys. Don’t know what the point of that choice was.

- I found the whole armour mentions after interesting, it looked so set up as a PR campaign because Stafford speaking about the armour just sounded like a statement agreed on beforehand ‘should have worn the same’ and the Catherine with ‘steel in the bones’ and Ferdinand’s impressed face (it was him playing them?)

- Am I giving this show too much credit?

- Also whats up with “God save the Queen?”

War Counsel:

- Henry VIII’s actor is quite charismatic in this scene. It’s almost as if Catherine is the hothead and Henry the wise one that speaks less but more significantly. It almost feels like they gender-swapped them.

The Bedchamber:

- Did Catherine breastfeed the baby? I thought it was Anne Boleyn. Doubtful... I’m tired of the trope of ‘you’re a good woman if you insist on breastfeeding the child yourself despite social conventions’. For a feminist show, the writers seem very attached to some 1950s perceptions of motherhood.

- I feel like the age difference between Catherine and Henry is well conveyed.

Scotland Again:

- ‘All the sheep were pregnant’ 👀 oh touché Margaret. oh my. Did she just?

- I know they are playing out this disenfranchised Margaret arc to reinforce how great Catherine and Henry are (cheap technique) and to build up to her involvement in Flodden (innacurate historically but I know what the show will do). But I will say this: the humour is pretty good in the Scottish scenes! But I know it’s unintentionally so... (I highly doubt they wanted us to laugh at Margaret hitting James or calling Alexander a pig).

Westminster and the baby chamber:

- What’s are those red splotches on the babies face??

- Oh that shot of Margaret and silent Reginald :((( it makes me sad.

- And now the Poles are at church! I just love the look of them.

- That scene of Maggie and Catherine was needed, as we didn’t get the best friends vibe much in this episode. The whole thing looked a bit pagan though, but it was nice :)

The whole Ferdinand’s betrayal segment:

- The grape motif again was fitting, him snapping the fruit right before she gets to it even despite her knowing what he’s like and what he’ll do, was a good parrallel.

- I’m tired of hearing of this ‘Camelot’. Even in the novel, Camelot was Catherine and Arthur’s dream and... can we just live it up with Arthur?

- Ursula Pole’s, Bessie Blount’s and Mary Boleyn’s actresses look way too similar.

- I fail to see why Catherine thinks she’s turning into her father... she doesn’t strike me as much of a game-player or subtle two-facer.

- I’m intrigued what will happen with Oviedo and Lina... I feel like they won’t stay in England long.

- He was made knight bannaret... nice... but why does he thank Catherine publicly for this? It was in Henry’s gift that he was made a commoner Knight.. if this transpired irl Henry would have been gravely insulter.

Catherine’s Dead Baby and thereafter:

- Guys. In all seriousness, I don’t think the TV series is trying to imply that Catherine killed the baby with her negligence. I mean, they are so bent on us liking her they wouldn’t do that. It would be a bit too ballsy anyway. Remember the red splotches I mentioned earlier? Could those have been a sign that he was already ill but no one noticed/was in denial?

- The pebbles in hands would have had more emotional payoff if it had been established earlier if you know what I mean. Basically, this episode is too fast and entire arcs begin and end within it which extinguished any build-up.

- Oh man Henry is so sweet in this, how will they build him up as the tyrant he was historically if they keep this up?

Scotland Again:

- I must admit, I don’t like all those nicknames they keep using. But somehow James calling Margaret ‘Meg’ is nice and seems fitting.

- What’s a hermana sister?

England Last Mourning Scenes:

- YOU DID NOT BUILD CAMELOT ughhh

- Why is Catherine giving the speech and not Henry?? It turns out Catherine was more emotional historically then the whole perception of ‘perfect queen of stone’ to which some people hold her. However, I doubt it would have been proper of her to give a speech in such a emotional manner.

Conclusion:

6.5/10

Some of the dialogue was stilted, the costumes are confused as to which era they’re supposed to be (aesthetically distracting) and many other characterisation issues.

I don’t have high hopes for this series in terms of cinematography or art but I sure as hell expect it will be entertaining. So far, everything is just getting set up and I find some aspects promising. As you can tell I am truly excited over how the Margaret Pole plotline. I am also interested in how Henry will be portrayed, with Catherine being so OTT and pushy this episode Im starting to Stan him more. In this show he appears sensitive and serene and kinda... adorable. Kind of like a little brother hanging onto his sister’s skirts.

But in a way that is a disservice to the real historical figure which would not tolerate such a representation. I am very irritated by this whole ‘joint-rulers’ thing which is just sooo innacurate. These STARZ shows have an obsession with showing women turn into men for the purposes of feminism - I see.

Catherine overpowers Henry too often and it sometimes feels like he’s HER consort. Of course, the feminism in this show is schizophrenic as we get the overemphasis of Catherine as a 1950s motherly ideal with the whole breastfeeding angle (“you’re better than other noble woman who would find this beneath them”, “they’re not as motherly as you”).

So the relationship dynamic between Henry and Catherine is a bit off at the moment, but oh well.

Mary Tudor is a bit distracting with her dark hair but I find the actress extremely endearing and promising. I know there will be emphasis on her storyline too and I hope they’ll not be clichéd with it.

[llendrinall]

Omg can you please give me a cliche raining scene of drarry filled with emotion and all that stuff. Like what im seeing in my head is that Draco and Harry have danced around each other for years and now its come to a breaking point and they're screaming emotionaly at each other in the rain (dramatic little shits) and it just ends up with them snogging and working it out and Ron is like "Fucking finally" with the duos other friends just staring at them from a random balcony

Ah, but you see those scenes are quite silly when isolated. To get that punching “fucking finally” feeling there has to be yearning before, and misunderstandings, and longing, so much longing, so when the idiots get to pour their silly hearts out it does feel like a reward.

Before the declaration we need the plot, any plot. Maybe someone is missing. Yes. A witch goes missing, Laura Hale. Two years younger than Harry, so he doesn’t remember her. But then Susan Bones goes missing too and Harry knows Susan well. Plus she is from the Bones family, so all alerts go off.

They begin to investigate. Harry, of course, and probably Ron and some other Auror. Something dark and wicked is going on. They follow what little traces there are to an abandoned manor full of nasty curses. After four miserable hours fighting their way in, they arrive to a well lit room and find Draco Malfoy standing there.

“You are a week late at least,” Draco says, and he hands them a shoe that might belong to Susan Bones.

Despite what the initial impression suggests, Draco isn’t there in any guilty business. He is doing an investigation of his own. It turns out that Goyle is missing too and only Draco is searching for him because, well because it’s Goyle. Because he is male (although Harry argues he would look just as hard into wizards’ disappearances), and a Slytherin (yeah, they are not a priority) and ugly (uh, never thought of that). So Draco didn’t bother reporting Goyle missing and he just started looking for him by himself.

This is not the first time Draco and Harry come across each other. It is unclear what Draco does these days for a living, but his businesses have a tendency to bump against Harry’s. However, this is a side of Draco Harry had never seen, loyal and kind and brave. Harry is paying attention.

As they progress in the investigation things turn more and more dangerous. Draco probably saves Ron from a curse, even if he does it by hexing him out of the way (what? A stinging hex is quick and much less dangerous than an actual disintegration curse).  

Harry begins to believe the unbelievable. Draco admits that Goyle has no virtues, but Draco is still relentless in his search and insists that, in a way, Goyle is his responsibility. There is affection there, and tenderness, even when Draco says that Goyle is ambitious and stupid and that is a deadly combination. Draco says he owes it to Goyle, because poor stupid Goyle would have done the same for him.

Okay, Draco can’t possibly be in love with Goyle, can he? And, in any case, what is it to Harry? Harry certainly does not care what one Mister Malfoy does with his affections.

Here there would be a scene in which Draco tragically misinterprets something Harry says. Those scenes tend to be cheap, so it would have to be well laid beforehand. Maybe the press is asking Harry about his engagement to a certain Weasley and Harry doesn’t bother denying it because he can’t disclose the one good clue they have got for the investigation. Draco knows it is not Ginny and since harry is being so secretive he quite logically assumes Harry is in a secret relationship with Ron. Something like that.

And then, oh then they find Goyle and he is dead.

Draco knew it. Goyle was ambitious and stupid and that made him extremely easy to manipulate. They think that Goyle might have died heroically. That he stood up to whoever was doing this, that he tried to save the witches. (Witch? They know at least one of them is alive but they can’t be sure about the two of them).

Draco seems quite composed and unaffected by the discovery, but he also storms outside and when Harry goes to tell him that they had moved Goyle’s body it is obvious that Draco had been crying.

And, look, Harry is still thinking about what Draco said: that nobody would look for Goyle because he was ugly. Draco was right and Harry can’t stop thinking about it. (When he is not thinking about the horrible wicked business at hand or the fact that Draco is amazingly skilled and Harry has a competence kink). Harry already made the mistake of overlooking Goyle because of his looks once (and brains and ethics and talents, to be fair). He is not doing it again. There were obviously some hidden depths to Goyle and Draco is mourning him.

(But why does it hurt? Harry’s heart is sore and it can’t be merely the worry about the case).

They are running out of time and they are not getting any closer. Ron comes up with a very smart plan that only requires some reckless risk on their part, but Ron is quite sure he will make it. He is also extremely indignant when Draco slips out and takes his place. That was Ron’s plan. Ron was going to take the dangerous role. How dare Draco go in his place?

(Ah, but Draco thinks that Ron and Harry are together. So of course he protects Ron.)

The plan is a success, thanks Merlin. Draco is wounded, but he survives and so do Laura and Susan. The press is there. (They may have set a historical building on fire). Draco insists he only needs a potion and that he is going home. And this is it. Harry can feel it, the moment escaping through his fingers. He knows that if he lets Draco go this time, he won’t come back.

“No,” he says, almost a whisper. His throat his hoarse from the smoke. There is a bleeding cut on his lip.

When Draco looks at him, he is so tired.

“Don’t go.” Harry begs. He is tired too. He is exhausted. Someone has cast a raining spell to put the flames out. Draco is just looking at him silently and Harry can’t find the words so he grabs Draco’s hand. Draco’s eyes widen and he immediately tries to free his hand, but Harry’s grasp tightens and Draco doesn’t fight it.

“What is this?” Draco says in a murmur. Why is it that while Harry can only manage whispers, Draco murmurs and susurrates?

But Harry still can’t find the words so Draco gets his hand free and turns away and goes. He is leaving. He is truly leaving. And what was that thing he said two days ago? When they were fighting their way out of that flooded corridor? Ah, yes, that he had nothing left here and by “here” he meant England. So Draco is going to leave the country after this and Harry will have let him, like an idiot, because Draco is far braver than he is.

“I LOVE YOU!!”

Harry’s scream comes out as a croak. He should really take a soothing potion.

“What?” Draco has stopped in his tracks and is looking over his shoulder.

“I love you. Don’t go.”

“You love me!?” Draco’s voice is quite loud too. Half incredulity and half temporary deafness due to the explosion.

Harry nods and since he is resolved to not being a dirty coward, he says it. “Yes.”

Draco crosses the distance between them in just two long steps. His hands are on Harry’s face and he kisses him. A good proper kiss. The rain is plastering Harry’s hair to his forehead and his glasses are full of droplets and he can’t see. He throws his arms around Draco because he is not slipping away, he won’t let him. Draco takes the chance to dip him, the bastard, so all the journalists get a pretty nice photo of Harry hanging to Draco for dear life kissing in the rain, a building on fire in the background.

[lipstickbisous]

the rei brown series (2/3)

OUR LOVE REMAINS.

notes: here’s the second part!! one more after this haha. not much of a plot to these just meant to put you in your feels. butttttt, i did write this from the experience my mom had in the icu when she was a nurse.

this one is your p.o.v. and is a little bit longer but not much

i DID NOT KNOW if anyone would get offended by “latino” or “hispanic” so i used both im sorry.

LISTEN for better understanding.

also u guys REALLY LIKED the din fic so i guess...more of those?

pairing: javier peña x reader

summary: while rethinking all of the choices you’ve made in your life, memories of a certain person begin to flood in.

warnings: MORE ANGST ahahaha, childhood nostalgia, fluff ending

word count: 3.3k (these are not long chapters)

masterlist

you weren’t sure what time it was (you knew it wasn’t too late) and you hadn’t bothered to check as you stumbled through your doorway, one arm holding grocery bags and the other, your purse and papers from work. your hair had been stuck in the ponytail you threw it up in since the morning, but now, it was pulling at your scalp and giving you a headache.

managing to balance on one foot, you flipped the light switch in your entryway and watched as the first floor of your house illuminated in the night. the tiny dog you’d adopted a few months ago came padding out on the wood floors from the dining room, his tongue stuck out with loud pants to relieve himself of the texas summer heat. 

with a small “hey, bub,” to your pet, you placed the groceries on the kitchen counter and slipped off your clogs, throwing them at the bottom of your stairs so that you could be reminded to take them to your room when you went upstairs. for now, you reached into the glass cabinet and grasped a dark bottle of wine. the label read a fancy word in french, but growing up in kingsville, you’d never bothered to learn the language of love. you grew up in that rich latino and hispanic culture. 

this house had memories threatening to let it crumble, you knew that, but even after your parents had moved into a smaller apartment due to medical reasons and the fact that they couldn’t afford the house, you couldn’t bring yourself to move out of this town and just ditch them there--now the house was in your name. you didn’t know why it was so hard to leave--you’d been able to leave for university, but when you came back the summer after you’d graduated, something stuck. now, it had been twenty years and you had made no attempts to even leave kingsville. 

you popped the cork of the wine bottle open and instantly met that musky historic smell of the red alcohol. you had seven wine glasses in your cupboards, but you never had any friends over. you might occasionally invite a few girls you knew in high school, but if you were to hang out with people, it would be at a bar on friday and saturday nights. you watched as the wine splashed around the glass and when it was filled to your satisfaction, you pushed the cork back into its place and left the bottle on the counter.

as you made your way into the living room and collapsed on the couch, the little dog you called yours jumped up onto the high furniture the best he could due to his tiny legs. you searched your couch for the remote, pulling over the cushions and pillows before finding it buried under the arm. you switched the tv on and and flipped through the channels before settling on fifty-one. your dog curled up next to your lap and closed his eyes to sleep.

you didn’t for what you were sure was the next two hours. the movie that had been playing before ended the beginning of a new one had started until you realized your glass was empty and dry and your eyelids were getting heavier. you leaned your head back before rethinking how the day had gone. you’d shown up to the hospital for work at the crack of dawn and spent the next twelve hours wheeling around patients, taking diagnostics, and carrying their dirty dishes.

it definitely had not been the job you imagined when you were ten. you’d played doctor with your stuffed animals and plushes before but in those scenarios, the patients had been obedient in kind. unfortunately, fate had not been so kind and, while sitting in front of the television with an empty wine glass in your hand, your fingers grazing over the sore spot on your wrist. it was sure to be bruised, the one on your calf had turned purple and yellow in the past few days. you hissed when you applied just a bit too much pressure.

i spent four years at a college i hated to have this. you’d put it all on the line to have this job. you thought that by being a nurse in the fucking icu, you’d be saving people everyday. instead, you were groped, spat out, and ignored by everyone there. you deserved a glass of wine every night.

you knew that this was not healthy at all and that you were intoxicating yourself with far too much alcohol but the way your back ached, your calf bruised, and your head pounded drowned out whatever warnings your brain sent you.

suddenly, you managed to catch sight of the atomic clock sitting on your kitchen counter. bright crimson letters read “1:30 am.”, and with a far too heavy sigh that awoke the small dog next to you, you set the glass on your coffee table (you’d grab it in the morning when you weren’t so sad) and flipped the tv off before sauntering up the stairs. even at your age, you had still been terrified of the dark--you could barely walk down to your basement without a flashlight and by yourself--but you found that you were perfectly fine walking in the pitch-black of your upstairs hallway. your dog was quick to follow behind you, jumping onto your bed and waiting for you as you emotionlessly entered your bathroom and looked at your reflection.

who the fuck were you? how much time had passed and yet here you were, in your fucking childhood home all alone? you’d found love with many men over the years, but you hadn’t expected them to last--and they hadn’t. what had you done? had you left some sort of imprint in the world at all? you were never one for kids, everyone you knew was well aware of that, but how were you supposed to live on even when you were dead? in reality, abandonment and loneliness was your worst fear along with--

oh god, you thought in a shriveled voice. you’re gonna be forgotten. 

one part that hurt the most was the news. you’d gotten better at keeping up to date with pop culture and politics, and the pablo escobar situation had you worried for one reason and one reason only--javier peña. you’d seen him on the news, the DEA agent who had made it his responsibility and top priority to catch the famous drug lord. it was nice to see that he had gotten somewhere while the only time you’d ever really traveled was to paris for a christmas and then LA to see an old friend who you didn’t even talk to anymore. 

this was your life now. mindlessly wandering around your house after work, eating microwaved leftovers and carry-out from the diner.

god, that diner. it had been one of your favorite locations in the shitty town you called home--had been. the first time you went, you were suspicious due to the fact that the actual building was a different restaurant owned by a criminal before it was a diner, but javier had practically begged you to have a late dinner with him after an afternoon spent skipping your last few periods and driving around the outskirts of town in his truck. the wind had been blowing through your hair and you hung your head out of his window, letting your arms wave around, and you could’ve sworn you had felt him looking at you. 

that was the moment you were in love with javier peña.

you knew that you had been lying to yourself up until that moment because since the first day you met javier when driving past their ranch and stopping to look at the horses, you’d been in love. you couldn’t even think about how many days were spent writing poetry about him that now seemed stupid and childish. you’d told yourself it was an outlet for your feelings, but you had really written it because you were too much of a bitch to come out and tell javi. maybe that hadn’t been your fault--you’d witnessed, first hand, javier rejecting a girl in sixth grade. you watched her nod and tell him “oh, that’s okay” but then run away into the bathrooms. javier had continued on to tell you about a new foal on their farm.

you remembered the horses. you missed them too. if it hadn’t been them roaming about in the pastures, or the great stallion that caught your attention while on that family car ride, you would’ve never met javier. you weren’t sure if he judged you for it or not, but every time chucho needed help around the farm, and javier was too much of a brat and a teenager to do it, you had gladly offered. so, chucho peña had put you in charge of the foals. there was one in particular, a small one with a white coat, that had piqued your interest. there was a day, one in the middle of the summer if you could remember correctly, where you and javi had just run out to the fields while the rest of the horses stayed in their stables. javi had been excited since his father had gifted him with a new camera, and he had spent all day taking pictures of--and to this day, you still didn’t notice it--only you. 

while brushing your teeth, carefully placing a small dot of paste on your toothbrush, you began to scrub in small circles. how long had it been since you and javi had last talked? even then, it had barely been a conversation. a simple exchanged of very few words, a goodbye that went misheard, and that was it. when you had called his home phone the next morning, instead of javi replying like he always did, it had been chucho’s voice instead, muffling an annoyed “hello?” but when he heard the exhaustion and lightness of your voice, he carefully explained that javi had already left.

you hadn’t felt heartbroken--not at first. in fact, there was barely any sadness in that tired head and upset stomach. you were infuriated. how could he? how dare he? he had been such a coward that he couldn’t even say goodbye and it angered you more than you thought it ever would--not that you had ever thought about javier leaving before because he said he wouldn’t even consider it. and now, he had left you alone your fucked up hometown that you’d always told him you hated so much. then, about three days alone without javier (which was something you weren’t used to) you’d realized that there was a large possibility this could’ve been your fault.

had you been a bad friend recent to his leaving? yes, you had been acting distant, but it was due to normal events, such as school and...the fact that you were hopelessly in love with him. it had been harder to talk with senior year ending and college coming up, but you hadn’t never thought he could just turn himself away like that. never.

and not once had javi tried to contact you. he, of course, knew your number by heart, but after all these years, he’d probably had hundreds of girls phone numbers--in fact, you were sure that if hadn’t been a DEA agent hooked with the most dangerous man on the earth, you would’ve expected him to be married already. you had gone to the wedding. you’d seen how the church was decorated, how each and every guest wore plastered smiles--just the idea of seeing javi made you giddy and you’d worn your best dress you could find. even after returning from university, javier didn’t visit or call. you also remembered hearing lorraine sobbing when her groom didn’t show.

javier was not the type of person to stand someone up. you didn’t know what he was like now, but as teenagers, if he ever had a date (which wasn’t often because even if you didn’t know it, he was hopelessly in love with you) he would arrive five minutes early. 

the one time javi did have a date, you stayed home and watched one of his favorite movies while crying. you hated to admit that the next day, when he admitted to you he didn’t like the girl that much, you were excited.

suddenly, you remembered how this was completely your fault. you had always blamed javier for never calling or writing, but then you realized that you had never made the attempt either.

“fuckin’ hell,” you whispered and washed off your toothbrush. as a nurse, you didn’t normally cake yourself with makeup, but you did wear the average concealer, mascara, and lipstick or gloss. you took one look at your reflection and noticed that your mascara was currently running. when did i cry? you asked yourself and exited the bathroom, not bothering to remove your makeup.

your room was next door and when you walked inside, your dog was patiently waiting next to your nightstand and- god, did i leave the fucking light on again? you felt like slapping yourself until your head was straight because it wasn’t right to think about someone you haven’t seen in twenty years.

you slipped off your pants, leaving you in expensive panties you’d gotten for no reason at all. you threw off your scrubs, discarding them onto the floor with a light air sound and replacing your shirt with a tank-top. your bed had been so perfectly made that it almost annoyed you. you threw yourself onto your bed and began to rub your eyes. it wouldn’t matter if you messed up the mascara because there was nothing to mess up. 

hoping the sleep would rid you of the horrible thoughts, you flipped the lamp next to your bed off and pressed a pillow to your cheek. the small dog at your feet curled up rested his eyes. you did the same.

it would’ve been physically best for your health if you had gone at least six hours of sleeping without any interruption, but one moment in the night, the phone on your nightstand began to blare its ringtone. your eyes shot open and began to burn slightly from a sudden awakening. the sound had scared your dog, who jumped to the ground in protection of whatever the source was until he realized it was the telephone. you groaned with heavy eyelids and looked to the clock. two-twenty five am. as soon as you went to answer the call, it went to dial tone. 

more frustrated than before because you really just wanted to sleep, you groaned and flung yourself back into bed. of course, now you were awake.

but then, the phone began to ring again. it had seemed louder this time and your dog barked in the most un-intimidating way possible before you threw a pillow at the spot next to him to get him quiet. you held the phone close to your ear and spoke a tired, “hello?” the line was silent and at first, you were terrified because you could’ve sworn you heard someone breathing. another one of these. “hello?”

part of this was exciting to you. while it was extremely frustrating to be awoken a few hours before you normally rose to get ready for work, your mind was racing during the silent pause between you and this stranger. who could it be? perhaps it was chucho telling you that javier could be coming home, but you cursed yourself for thinking of that man and dismissed the idea. maybe it was your mom calling to tell you how your father had gotten better and, for now at least, the cancer was gone. 

“(y/n)?”

―

while the reason behind it remained unclear, you had always loved airports. the cleaning-product smell, the diverse people, the small restaurants, even the feeling of the carpet--or the feeling of that when in an airport, you were going somewhere.

it had always been about going somewhere. javier knew this since fifth grade, that you had always wanted to just leave kingsville, texas. maybe you would move to new york, or philadelphia, or even go to london and paris. they had been silly daydreams due to reading too many of your mother’s travel books, but paris had always looked so nice. maybe even visit mexico--you’d already been well immersed in the culture.

but that wasn’t why you were here. you were here for something that was long overdue.

after the phone call that night, you javier had made sure to call each other every other day at ten o’clock pm. there had been some days where you had to stay late at the hospital or javi was chasing sicarios and didn’t get home until midnight--those nights, you would either fall asleep or just call the next day, but you both had made a good schedule. it definitely hadn’t been the same as when you were teenagers, and you didn’t expect it to be. his voice was much deeper and raspier (you knew it was because of the cigarettes, you could practically smell them through the phone) and his voice wasn’t as...lively anymore. you felt that you couldn’t say much, though, because the years had been rough to you as well.

he had told you everything. your thoughts on how he was living was wrong--he told you of the countless informants and prostitutes, how the colombian sun was definitely hotter than the texan sun and even to him it had made a difference. when you both had too much to drink and were passing back funny stories, his was that he had grown a mustache. you had laughed at that one because if you could imagine the clean-shaved, teenage boy that javier once was with a mustache, it was a hilarious thought.

all-in-all, it had still been painful to talk to someone you knew so well like they were a stranger. at first, you had asked yourself if he’d changed but you caught yourself in the stupid thought. of course, he had changed. it had been twenty fucking years and even you had noticed the faint lines starting to appear around your face. 

it had taken almost half a year of phone calls, missed and attended, happy and sad to be where you were now.

the airport bustling had also been one of your favorite things too. the countless and various voices all coming together to make a white noise that was so distinct. 

you were standing near the entrance, watching as families reunited, lovers embraced, and yet you stood alone. it had been over ten minutes since when javier was supposed to show. if you were being honest with yourself, what did you expect? he would just appear out of thin air in the middle of a crowd? you hoped the flight from bogotá had been peaceful and well. there hadn’t been any storms passing by, baggage loading problems, or anything that could possibly delay the plane, so there was no reason for javier not to be there.

unless...you began to think and it had been too late to stop yourself from completing the thought. maybe he just didn’t want to. 

like when he rejected that girl in sixth grade. like when he left you alone in kingsville. like when abandoned his bride at their own fucking wedding.

suddenly, you felt angry. your blood was boiling, your hands felt hot, the hair on your neck became irritating, and the winter heat of texas began to scorch, even in air conditioning. you ran a hand down your face, feeling two beads of sweat trickle down a path to your chin. your foot, which had been tapping for the past now fifteen minutes turned on its heel as you made your way to the glass doors.

your car was just outside. you wouldn’t even have to walk that far, and then you could drive home, cry yourself to sleep, and call javier about this some other time.

“(y/n)!”

tags: @pascalisthepunkest @javierpenaspinkshirt @gummiishark @cyarikaaa @larakasser @pedropasscals @honeyedspace @talesfromtheguild @absurdthirst

[thestuckylibrary]

Mods’ Reads: January 2020

Here’s the list of everything the Mods have read this past month!

Mod Blue

Sine Tactu by justanotherStonyfan (complete | 22,586 | M)

“Want me to help with this?” Steve says quietly, head about level with James’ stomach as he stares up at him, fingers reaching up for James’ fly, but James shakes his head.

“No,” he says, wets his lips - Steve is all skin and muscle and he’s totally naked and he’s right here and- “no, I’m.” He swallows hard. “I’m not getting naked. This is about you.”

Part 29 of Honey Honey

Propius by justanotherStonyfan (oneshot | 6,178 | E)

Steve comes home kicking snow off his shoes, although a lot of it’s gray colored, and he’s shivering. Despite that, his cheeks are bright with the cold and his smile is bright with affection, camera in hand.

“Hi!” he says on a breath, shoulders hunched to keep the cold air out of his collar, and James smiles, crosses the conversion to reach him, and grabs the trailing ends of Steve’s scarf to draw him down for a kiss hello. “Mh.”

James wrinkles his nose as Steve’s nose presses into his cheek.

“Jesus, you’re freezing,” he says, and Steve laughs softly.

“Yeah,” he says “That’s why I came back inside.”

Part 30 of Honey Honey

I Believe In Something More by cydonic (complete | 74,304 | M)

In April of 2014, two very important things happen: The Winter Soldier is prepped for a mission as part of Project Insight which never ends up happening, and Steve Rogers finds out his mother is dying.

In October of 2018, Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers meet in the Sculpture Garden at UCLA. Bucky has spent the ensuing years building a life for himself, learning that he likes to study in the sunshine and build friendships with people who just think of him as ‘that nice guy who’s really smart’, not what he used to be. Steve has tried to make it in Brooklyn, but everything reminds him of Sarah. He needs a change of scenery, and following his childhood best friend Sam Wilson over to California seems to be the way to do it.

Rare Is This Love (Keep It Covered) by histoires_eternelles, musette22 (complete | 66,773 | E)

It's 2014. Captain America has been out of the ice for three years and is trudging along, saving the world and trying to get used to living in the future. Steve thinks he knows how the rest of his life is going to pan out – a life of duty, which he chose when he signed up to be Erskine’s science experiment. But then, he meets Bucky Barnes: the out-of-this-world-gorgeous mechanic and war vet, who turns Steve’s life upside down and makes him question everything he thought he knew. Slowly, Steve comes to realize there is more to life than duty and punching Nazis. Just one problem though: how on earth does a 96-year-old virgin who only just realized he may not be entirely straight make the transition from crush to relationship? Cue healthy amounts of self-doubt, awkward flirting, pretty blushing, existential crises, emotional growth, and maybe, possibly, a sexual awakening.

darling heart, i loved you from the start (but that's no excuse for the state i'm in) by voxofthevoid (oneshot | 19,725 | T)

“I thought you’d make a terrible Nazi but turns out you’d make a terrifying one instead.”

The year is 2012. Loki has vanished with the Tesseract, and Manhattan is a blazing wreck. A very tired Steve Rogers goes home and meets another very tired Steve Rogers.

Or, the one where Steve saves the mind stone for last and decides to fuck the timeline beyond all recognition, which regrettably involves crawling delicately up Hydra's asshole and less regrettably involves showering a very confused Bucky Barnes with affection.

Kissin' by the mistletoe (Love came to stay) by obsessivereader (oneshot | 4,949  | E)

“I told you,” Steve wheezes, as he tries to catch his breath. “Didn’t I fucking tell you we'd fall if you didn't quit pushing?”

He’d laugh if he had any air left in his lungs. Instead, all he can do is stare up at Bucky as the sound of his carefree laugh winds its way around Steve’s heart. He barely even registers the cold seeping in through his jacket and jeans as he lies in the snow, attention catching instead on the snowflake clinging to Bucky’s lashes. Were Bucky’s eyes always that luminous? The crinkles around his eyes so endearing? Were his lips always that pink?

Bucky’s laugh dies away at Steve’s continued silence. A strange expression settles on his face, like he’s looking into the face of a stranger for the first time, studying and cataloging Steve’s features one by one—eyes, nose, mouth.

Based on this tweet, which has, sadly, been deleted: FUFJFJ ITS SNOWING A LOT IN NY RN AND IM WALKING HOME AND THESE GUYS ARE LIKE PUSHING EACH OTHER IN THE STREET AND ONE GUY GOES “YOU ASSHOLE STOP PUSHING ME IM GONNA FALL” AND THE OTHER GUY WAS LIKE “.... For Me?” and the other guy was like bro... no fuck you” AND THEY BOTH FELL

Part 2 of Happy Steve Bingo!

thot through the heart (and you're to blame) by Deisderium (complete | 9,899 | E)

"You look like shit," Steve says, and that breaks the spell a little because fuck you, Steve, he looks good. Steve's nostrils flare. "Is that—is that blood on your mouth?"

Oh, fuck. Bucky needs to work on not being a sloppy eater. He wipes his mouth hastily, and without thinking, licks his hand clean. Steve stares.

*

In which Bucky is a baby vampire, a disaster, out to have a good time, and hopelessly in love with his roomate; and in which Steve has a few secrets of his own.

Part 1 of food for thot

Scratched Ragged and Rubbed Raw by cheesethesecond (oneshot | 3,788 | T)

“How are you gonna sleep tonight,” Bucky asked, letting his head fall back against the wall and closing his eyes, “knowing that a guy who tried to kill you is sleeping in the next room?”

“Like a baby,” Steve said.

This Lonely Hour Before Daybreak by cheesethesecond (oneshot | 2,912 | T)

Steve knew there would be good days and bad days. That’s how this sort of thing worked.

Except sometimes, the bad days go like this.

Something Great by dragongirlG (oneshot | 1,485 | G)

The Soldier knows he is not Bucky Barnes, but he still seeks out Steve Rogers after the helicarriers fall, inexplicably craving Rogers' affection. Rogers gives it. (Basically, the Winter Soldier wants a hug. Steve gives him that and a little more.)

Based on a prompt from withinmelove: I have a love for Winter Soldier as his own person so Winter Soldier and Steve cuddling is my prompt! Maybe WS is touch starved and is really eager to be affectionate with Steve who is happy to be close and tender with him.

The Right Partner* by LeeHan (oneshot | 41,651 | E) *graphic violence

“Now, correct me if I’m wrong,” Bucky said, tapping his chin thoughtfully, “but I believe I was promised a mocha.”

When he turned to look at Steve there was laughter in his eyes and a touch of heat in his smile.

Dating a civilian was always risky. Luckily, Bucky seemed like a nice, genuine guy and Steve knew he could gently reject him with the smallest shrug and that Bucky would accept his decision easily. It was the smart thing to do.

“Don’t forget the croissant.”

—

Steve meets a beautiful man with a bright laugh on a sunny day in Italy. Captain America meets the elusive Winter Soldier moments later.

Date Bucky Barnes. Defeat the Winter Soldier. Bring down Hydra. How hard could it be?

Pedantic Affectations by fannishlove, relenafanel (complete | 15,858 | M)

Steve Rogers: khaki pants and ugly tweed wearing art history professor specializing in historical queer art (by day). Is actually Captain America, vigilante and the bane of Detective Barnes’s existence (by night).

Detective Bucky Barnes: A very clever cop who suspects something is up with Steve. Is frustrated that Captain America exists and is dedicated to finding him because he loves a good puzzle.

So, how does Steve convince Bucky that he's too boring to be Captain America? Go on a date with him.

(Steve is kind of really, really bad at this secret identity thing)

The Comfort in Certainty by justanotherStonyfan (complete | 20,554 | E)

"You were right when you said we need to talk," Steve says softly ... "Is there anything you want to say first?"

... James can't stand the suspense. If it's going to happen, if he's going to do it, James wants that bandaid ripped off now.

"Is this a breakup talk?" he says, and his wishes his voice would be stronger but he’s almost glad that it’s not.

Steve takes a deep breath in through his nose.

Part 31 of Honey Honey

Honeypot by cleo4u2, xantissa (complete | 133,204 | E)

Preconditions: One Sasha Marozow - internationally renowned assassin for hire, known as the Winter Soldier, ex-Hydra operative freelancing for the last five years; One Steve Rogers, Captain America - recently defrosted national hero and Avenger; One assassination contract; One set-up known in the intelligence community as the “honeytrap”.

Expected Result: One Winter Soldier in custody, the name of his employer attained.

Actual result: Definitely not as expected.

Part 1 of Honeypot

Give Up the Ghost* by cleo4u2, xantissa (oneshot | 19,518 | E) *graphic violence

They were happy together and the year had been good for them. They thought nothing could tear them apart. They were wrong.

Part 2 of Honeypot

i'm a believer (got a fever running through my bones) by voxofthevoid (oneshot | 16,742 | E)

Everyone knows Captain America is an alpha. His tragic romance with Howard Stark is as popular a topic for movies and academic papers as his exploits in the war. Sure, Stark never said a word, and he clearly moved on, given that Tony Stark is currently alive. But even now, people like to gossip in hushed whispers about how sad it is that Howard Stark passed away a mere two years before they found the good Captain in the ice.

Bucky gets it, alright? Alpha/omega is the norm. Matches sanctioned by god or whatever bullshit your conservative Christian sect of the day likes to ramble about. It’s the twenty-first century, and the world still runs on a maddening policy of straight until proven otherwise. Thing is, Bucky has most certainly proven otherwise and has been doing so since he was a wee alpha panting after some knothead or the other because being queer didn’t magically make him any less stupid than your average horny teenager.

Bucky’s an alpha, Bucky likes alphas, and he’d love nothing more than to climb Steve Rogers like a goddamn monkey bar.

- Steve meets Bucky on a flaming helicarrier. It’s not the most romantic first meeting, what with the Nazis and the bullet wounds, but they make it work.

the jackpot question  by biblionerd07 (series, ongoing | 16,126 | G-T)

Steve needs a ride home for Christmas. Bucky needs a passenger.

Winter Gorgon* by Quarra (complete | 74,067 | E) *graphic violence

For as long as Steve could remember, all he ever wanted to do was what was right. So when he hears about his father's old regiment being held as POW's by the Nazis, he's determined to put what Doctor Erskine gave him to good use and goes AWOL to rescue them.

But the 107th isn't all he finds there. Deep in the labs is a very unusual prisoner; one with snakes in his hair and a mask nailed to his face. Despite the man's monstrous visage, Steve can't in good conscience leave him to the enemy. That one act of mercy will change his life, the course of the war, and even the future of the world.

[oddinss]

fav fics featuring Dabi

hello everyone! im not a “loud” reader, everything im capable of is “yoooooooo” and “JEEZ WHA WHAT WaS THAT WhAT A ROLLER CoAsTER” in comments (my russian brain is shutting down sometimes and i still dont even have an acc on AO3), yet here is PART ONE of my absolute favorites in fandom

1. mr.famous by yee_san  Just absolutely golden wrong number AU, a chat of Dabi and Hawks, who of course don’t give a clue who they are chatting with.

2. Fever Dream by sushibomb Everyone’s favorite trope: sick Dabs and tired-of-being-alive Hawks

3. a day in your life by thishasbeencary Hawks and Dabs bodyswap! And waiting for the effect to wear off together

4. SERIES “these words twist my tongue and break my bones” by paradoxx1 Dabi struggles and yet still is a little bitch! LOVED THAT. Fics:  - An Unwanted Intervention Aizawa and Dabi interactions are something I live for and here they are just… juicy and good! A summary alone made me wheeze in an instant (I totally LOVE crack-style). Basically, everything starts when Aizawa finds injured and drugged Dabi on his doorstep. - Énouement Dabi saves Yagi’s life, they stuck under collapsed building, and OF COURSE dabi almost dies.

5. in a crowd of thousands by blueskiddoo ​  Well, Hawks had an idea for Dabi to pretend being Touya. I laughed at the beginning but the last chapters… man…

6. Keep the Homefires Burning by kurakynr, museflight, origamidragons, saccha, starship_phoenix, toomanybookstoread  This is one of the COOLEST written and plotted stories in fandom! Kingdom!au, where the prince Shouto is cursed and become a dragon, trying to survive and break the curse alongside with two other dragons: Dabi and Kirishima. Oh, by the way, Shoto believes, Dabi is the one who killed his brother, Touya.

7. cold-blooded by wellthengetouttathesoupaisle Hawks is stuck in snow storm, his phone is dead and he is one step from being dead too. Dabihawks!

8. SERIES “Dabi Says Fuck the Human Species: Artificial Natural Selection Addition” by cereal_whore  last in this list but not the LEAST (ima rapper), crack-queen of this fandom. fics are getting updated!!!!!!! i thought i wont see this historical moment... I cackle ALL the time, theyre so good, ill leave parts of original summaries  - clean up in aisle forty! (down childhood lane) Dabi, sobering from a drug-induced high at the feet of the tired UA staff, finds himself quirkless and with two choices: either face prison, or become what is essentially an unpaid janitor on house arrest, babysitting a body of uncivilized students who fear no god.  - family, happy meal toys, and other plastic things When Dabi walks out of McDonalds without his order but instead a job.  - Artifical Parenthood, Affectionate Brotherhood Todoroki Shouto just wants joint custody over his own older brother who's now inexplicably ten-years-old.  - The Danny Phantom Effect (but like, with australian subtitles) Shouto gets hit by a quirk with ghostly properties, and only Dabi can see him. Then, through unknown laws of this quirk, it's somehow transferable between them, confirming that they're utterly dependent on each others' existences. - paper crowns Dabi agreed to being adopted by a freak called Afo, solely because the nobleman promised to cook the raw chicken he stole earlier that day.

PS lets rest our brains and souls after 267.... PPS i literally have 200 open ao3 tabs so ill make part 2 for sure

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

I listened to the OUAT soundtrack at work again-- you know what that means:

Another SC/OUAT crossover bunny.

Lena is trying to get back to the city when her car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. There hasn't been another car in hours, and her cell doesn't have service, so she starts walking back along the way she came, towards the town she passed on the way up. Before long it starts to rain, and when she sees a pair of headlights coming towards her, she's so relieved she forgets to be wary of strangers.

Especially when this stranger is pretty and blonde with the kind of smile that makes Lena's insides feel kind of toasty, in spite of the chill.

Though her savior is heading away from town, Lena accepts a ride to wherever she's heading, and she sits miserable and wet and sniffly in the front seat of the rusty pick up.

Not exactly the kind of steed she expected for her knight in shining armor.

At first things are normal. They get to chatting, superficial stuff at first, but then the conversation turns deeper, so naturally that Lena barely notices. They learn that they're both heading for Metropolis, Lena for home and business, Kara as the destination of a cross country road trip. They learn that they're both orphans, and more strangely that neither of them have any parents of record.

But the moment they start riding together, things start to feel a little... off. Kara's on a road trip up to Metropolis, and isn't too familiar with this area, but there's something about the road bends and mist clouds in front of the highbeams that just isn't right.

"I don't suppose you know if we've taken a wrong turn?" she asks her soaked passenger, who mutely shook her head. They haven't taken any turns since they started.

Despite their disquiet, they press on. The eerie mist melts away under the graying blue of a New England sunrise, and they each heave a sigh of relief when they see the broad welcome sign of a town.

Storybrooke, it's called.

Huh. Lena doesn't remember seeing it on the map. Still, the town is quaint when they reach it, if slightly more Derry than Pleasantville. With empty streets and a giant clock that doesn't work, it barely seems inhabited, but there's a man walking a single Dalmation, and a line of cars is parked in front of a diner further down main street. Granny's, if the neon sign on top of it is any indication.

Kara pulls in as well. "I dunno about you, but I need a strong cup of coffee after that drive. Care to join?"

Tempted, Lena nibbles her lip, but ultimately shakes her head. "I'm going to try finding an auto shop. The rental is going to need a tow."

"Okay, sure. How about I order you a cup in fifteen minutes? That way it'll be warm when you're finished."

Lena smiles. "That'd  be great. Thanks."

"My pleasure."

The grin that accompanies the pleasantry warms Lena better than any coffee as they go their separate ways. Lena finds the auto shop just a few blocks down, but its door is locked and the windows dark, with no phone number or hours in sight.

Well, if anyone is going to know how to get hold of the car guy, it'd probably be someone in the local greasy spoon.

So, she makes her way back up towards the diner, but let's her feet carry her past it and on towards the library and the massive, unmoving clock.

Within the library there's no one to interrupt her casual browse through the stacks, nor prevent her from straying towards the elevator in back. At the press of a button the doors rattle open, and Lena enters with a mind towards heading up-- the clock calls to her, like every other broken thing in need of fixing.

She expects a lock of some kind to stand between her and her goal, but none appear. She steps onto a platform and climbs the short curving stair to where the exposed guts of the clock sit still and lifeless.

Lena intends to only look, and see if maybe she could spot the problem. But before she knows it she's peeled off her still wet coat and is elbow deep in oily grease, taking cogs off and on with the help of a toolbox left on the landing.

She's just putting the last piece back in place when a voice from behind her causes her to jump.

"Who are you?"

Whirling, Lena fumbles to catch the broad cog she nearly drops. She finds a sharp-featured woman with short dark hair standing on the stairs, glaring at her.

"And what are you doing up here."

"I noticed your clock wasn't working, so I--"

"Thought you would fix a priceless historical town artifact?"

Lena grits her teeth, grimacing. "Let me guess," she drawls. "You're about to tell me the clock hasn't worked since the exact moment of the great flood and the frozen hands stand as a monument to those who died."

Marching up the last two steps, the woman surprises Lena by allowing a smile. "No. This thing hasn't worked in..." The woman frowns for a moment, thinking. "Living memory."

She seems surprised by that fact. But then she tilts her head, and pegs Lena with a hard stare. "I was going to say that you took more initiative than any of the 1,200 residents in Storybrooke." She smirks. "So, did you?"

"I have no idea," Lena answers honestly. "Im good with my hands, but to be honest I've never seen a clock quite like this. It's fascinating."

She shrugs, and slots the last cog onto its peg. They watch it for a moment, and Lena fiddles for a moment more, but nothing happens. Oh well.

Lena plucks a dusty rag from the toolbox and wipes her hands.

"I'm Lena." The hand she offers is still visibly grimy, but the woman shakes it anyway.

"Mayor Mills."

Her hand is warm and strong in Lena's, and Lena can feel the press of every finger-- the kind of handshake she's found among painters, pianists, flutists. It's the grip of someone good with their hands, and an artist besides.

"What brings you to Storybrooke?" the Mayor asks. "Despite how it looks, we're not exactly a tourist town."

"Car broke down," Lena supplies. "Caught a ride in with another driver who was kind enough to pick up a miserable woman in the rain."

"And where's she?"

Lena studies the woman. "I never said they were a woman."

"Rain or not, you don't seem the type to get in a car with a strange man."

"She's waiting for me down at Granny's," Lena concedes with a smile. She glances at her watch. Oops. Her coffee is definitely cold. "I should probably get back to her, actually-- back to meet her, I mean. Before she thinks I hitched out without her."

The mayor watches her with a scrutinous gaze as she reclaims her coat. Lena gazes back, folding her coat over one arm. "You asked what I was doing up here... is it common practice for the mayor to come up to a broken clocktower?"

A shrug answers her. "I don't know about other mayors, but I do. I spend quite a bit of time up here, actually."

"Why?"

That same confusion from before reappears, crinkling the woman's brow, as though it were the first time she'd ever had to think about it. "I'm not sure..." comes the soft reply. "The quiet, perhaps."

Oddly, Lena feels like she understands. As a child, she'd spent countless parties seeking shreds of solitude in shadowed corners, a habit that persisted through boarding school and then college. Even now, she'd been drawn to the quietest spot in a silent town.

The mayor seems as unsettled as Lena, who lets it go with an awkward smile. "Well, sorry again for just letting myself in, Mayor Mills. Thanks for not arresting me for trespassing."

"That would be the Sheriff's job, not mine," Mayor Mills quips as she leads the way back to the elevator. "And lucky for you, Storybrooke happens to be short a sheriff."

Lena grins. "My lucky day."

The mayor walks her all the way back to Granny's, and their conversation continues easily. For all her cool affect, Mayor Mills is magnetic, quick and astute in a way that Lena thinks would do well in a board room.

By the time they reach the diner, Lena finds herself itching to know more. Not the way she wants to know Kara better, who she wants to drink in from head to toe and savor every taste. No, Lena wants to know Mayor Mills in the same way she wanted to fix the clock-- like her story is a puzzle Lena needs to tease apart, untangling knotted threads to reveal a tapestry.

Before she can even try to bid the mayor farewell, Kara comes bounding out of the diner to meet her. Her smile seems unperturbed by the fact Lena has stood her up for a good half hour.

"I've been talking to Granny-- she owns the diner-- and she says she also has a bed and breakfast down the road. She has a room available we could take!"

Lena stares, and Kara flushes. "I mean, she has a room available, if-- if you... I didn't mean to-- actually, why don't you take it? I can camp out in my truck, no problem. Or, I mean, I could leave, if you don't need that ride--"

"For the love of god, stop talking," Mayor Mills cuts in sharply. "Any more digging and you'll find yourself halfway to China."

The words are biting, and while Lena thinks she detects a hint of amusement, Kara colors even deeper, and swallows thickly as her bright eyes dim and avert themselves to her shoes.

"Got tired of bullying citizens already, mayor?" drawls a leggy brunette with red streak in her hair. Her skirt is as short as Lena's were, once upon a time, and the blotchy rips and tears in her fishnets scream fuck you as loud as her tone. "Had to move on to the tourists?"

"Dismissing petty grievances isn't bullying, Ruby," the Mayor returns glibly. "That's just good government."

"Won't be so petty when it's your yard that spotted mutt is shitting in."

"I didn't mean to assume we would be sharing,"  Kara murmured, leaning in to speak low enough only Lena could hear. "I'm pretty sure it's a single anyway, so really, I don't mind spending the night in the truck."

Lena regarded her for a long moment, absorbing the picture of her with her scuffed boots worrying the gravel underfoot and her hands fisted in the pocket of her hoodie. Now that the sun has fully risen, Lena finds Kara all the more alluring, with the sun glinting against strands of hair that were impossibly near the same color.

Feeling crusty by comparison in her slowly drying clothes and scraggly damp hair, Lena’s a little surprised that Kara wants to spend a single second more with her.

"You're going to stay?" she asks.

"Oh, well... it didn't look like you found any help with the car, and I'm not in any rush, so I figured I'd stick around until you had a ride worked out. Unless-- if you'd rather I left..."

"No," Lena says quickly. "No, I wouldn't."

Just like that, Kara's features return to life with a giant smile to put the sun to shame. Wow.

Lena clears her throat. "And for the room, I guess I wouldn't mind, if...."

"Don't be ridiculous."

Mayor Mills turns back to their conversation as though she'd never left. Over her shoulder, Ruby saunters up the steps into the diner, throwing a blind middle finger over her shoulder. Lena struggles to keep a smile off her face.

"There's no need for anyone to share," the Mayor continues. "You're welcome to my guest room, while your..."

"Kara," Kara supplies.

"While Kara takes the room at the B&B."

Now it's Lena's turn to flush. "I couldn't impose--"

"If it were an imposition I would have offered." Somehow, it feels like a scold.

Shooting a glance towards Kara, Lena receives an unhelpful shrug in return. "All right. I'd be happy to pay for the night--"

"Provide me some decent conversation over dinner," Mayor Mills allows, "and we'll call it even. You'd be surprised how little stimulation one finds in a small town."

Lena accepts with a nod. "It would be my pleasure, then. Is Kara invited?"

The mayor's features freeze, confirming that the invitation had been meant for Lena only. But before a hollow inclusion could be offered, Kara pipes up.

"Oh, I actually have plans for tonight," she says. "I was talking to some of the locals while I was waiting, and Mary Margaret-- one of the teachers at the local K-12-- invited us over. I already accepted for me, so I guess I'll just tell her you have somewhere else to be."

"Mary Margaret," the Mayor observes, her tone edging on snide. She pinches a tight smile in Kara's direction. "Yes, I daresay you'll both be in good company."

It doesn't sound like a compliment. Before either of them can respond, the mayor continues.

"I'll show you to the house, and let you use the en suite to wash up. I might even be able to scrounge up some dry clothes for you."

Lena allows herself to be led away. "That... would be amazing. Thank you."

Shooting one last glance over her shoulder, Lena offers Kara a sorry smile, and earns a little wave good-bye in return. Looking comfy and warm, Lena's new friend looks at home in this small quiet town.

Lena thinks maybe she could be at home here too.

But first, a shower.

[toyhouse-dramas-archived]

HOLY SHIT

M0DERND0C can fuck straight off. Vent thread page 289 “pls dont dm me abt this stuff if u even read it.

im trying my best to understand what white privilege is and how i can stop my internalized racism and its hard. everything is either pissing me off or makes me stressed out. i support blm, but im already tired of hearing it. im tired of the violence, im tired of the riots. im tired of being locked in my house, im tired of all of this. i wanna have a normal conversation with people without this stuff being brought up. i know its bad to ignore it, but people need to understand its STRESSING ME OUT. can i please have a moment where im not on the verge of crying bc i’ve asked people kindly to stop talking about it bc its stressing me out? take this stuff to dms please, not to the public where not everyone wants to hear about it.

i wanted june to be great. i wanted to go to my first pride parade, hang out with my friends, but now i cant. covid and the protests & riots are happening. lord let this all clear up…"  STEP ONE TO STOP YOUR INTERNAL RACISM, REALIZE WHAT A HYPOCRITICAL PIECE OF SHIT YOU JUST ANNOUNCED YOURSELF TO BE.

FUCK YOU. As disrespectfully as possible I say this. FUCK. YOU. PRIDE STARTED AS PROTESTS AND RIOTS AGAINST DISCRIMINATION AND MURDER OF LGBTQ+ PEOPLE. YOU don’t deserve pride if you don’t support others doing the exact same thing, that pride started as and still STANDS FOR TODAY. PERIOD. Let me say it again; PRIDE STARTED AS A RIOT. Besides that hypocrisy I hope you know what you just said is almost the exact same thing homophobes and transphobes, anti-lgbtq+ have been saying for years right? "WHY DO THEY HAVE TO HAVE A PARADE EVERY YEAR!” “NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO SEE IT!” “I’M TIRED OF IT”. Do yourself a fucking favor and look up the stonewall riots.  Sorry the party got cancelled, but PRIDE was never really a party to begin with. We’re lucky it has gotten to the point we can celebrate in peace. It wasn’t always that way. Your ignorance as a member of the LGBTQ+ community is honestly disgusting.  P.S. So fucking sorry you’re stressed out by people discussing a historical event as it’s happening. Must be so fucking hard. You must be scared for you and your families lives every day. oh wait- That’s what POC went through every day even before this started? 

do I need to say more or do I have it pretty much covered.? :)  

[scripttorture]

Sleep Deprivation

It’s really past time we talked about sleep deprivation. It’s a mainstay of modern torture and it’s been used for hundreds of years.

It’s also one of the clean (non-scarring) tortures that’s most regularly dismissed. The damage it causes is downplayed. And we often don’t even recognise it when it’s shown in fiction.

Sleep is a physiological need, like eating, drinking and breathing. Deprived of it we start to become ill and eventually die.

I’m breaking this down into sections, we’ll start with ‘normal’ sleep, talk about what sleep deprivation does to physical and mental health and then talk about how torturers deprive victims of sleep.

I’ll finish up by talking about how the long term symptoms of torture can impact sleep.

How much sleep is enough and what is normal sleep?

There is some variation in sleep patterns between individuals but if you let someone sleep for as long as they like most people sleep for around 7-9 hours a night. When we’re ill we tend to sleep more.

If you plot life expectancy against average hours of sleep a night you get a sort of U shaped graph. People who routinely sleep less then 7-9 hours a night have shorter lives and so do people who sleep more.

But there’s no evidence that sleeping too much actually causes poor health. People who sleep more on average may have underlying health conditions that shorten their lives.

And we have a lot of evidence that sleeping less causes poor health.

Sleep is divided into two types, REM and NREM sleep. That stands for Rapid Eye Movement sleep and Non Rapid Eye Movement sleep. Most people know REM sleep as dreaming sleep. Both are essential for human health.

All animals that have been tested sleep but only birds and mammals have been shown to dream. There’s also considerable variation in how long different species need to sleep for, most animals seem to need more than humans.

We sleep in cycles, chunks of time roughly an hour and a half long when we go through different stages of sleep. The initial cycles focus heavily on NREM sleep and as the night goes on we have more REM sleep, but every cycle contains a little of both.

The time of day we’re most likely to naturally fall asleep and naturally wake up varies with age in a non-linear fashion. Young children wake up early and tire early. Teenagers famously stay up late and sleep in late. The elderly wake up incredibly early and sleep incredibly early. This variation, along with individual variation, is thought to serve a protective function: humans are pack animals and varied sleep patterns within a group ensure that someone is awake most of the time in case of emergency.

It’s perfectly healthy for the time we want to go to sleep to vary, but the amount we need to sleep is more or less consistent after infancy.

Drugs, including caffeine, may effect our ability to fall asleep or our perception of how sleepy we are but they do not fulfil our need for sleep.

Keep in mind that even a character who is voluntarily depriving themselves of sleep will feel the effects. Repeated experiments have shown that we can be consciously aware we’re sleep deprived and aware of the effects of sleep deprivation but can not compensate for them.

Your character can’t get around the effects of sleep deprivation by willpower any more then a drunk can get around the effects of alcohol. Stimulants might keep them awake and raise their reaction time but they don’t effect other symptoms and may make some symptoms worse.

We need sleep after roughly sixteen hours of being awake. After that point our ability to function well starts to drop.

Effects of sleep deprivation

We’re still in the process of pinning down all the effects of sleep deprivation. Some of these effects are things we know happen but we don’t know why.

The more sleep deprived a character is the more symptoms they’d have, both physical and mental. Some of these symptoms are apparent after just one night of poor sleep (for the purposes of this post five hours sleep the previous night). I’m going to mark these early symptoms with an asterix (*) so you can easily recognise them.

Keep in mind that these effects are cumulative.

A character who gets into a pattern of not sleeping enough will get worse rather then staying at a steady level. The longer the character isn’t sleeping the more symptoms they should develop.

Physical symptoms

Shakes

Headaches*

Muscular pain

Increased blood pressure*

Reduced alertness*

Lower immune response leading to:

Increased infections

Longer recovery times

Longer reaction times*

Worse reflexes*

Lower natural testosterone levels and lower sperm counts

Abnormal menstrual cycles and lower fertility levels

Hunger*

Poor coordination*

Increased chance of accidents*

Subtle changes to physical appearance that cause a character to appear unhealthy*

Microsleeps (short periods of unconsciousness)

Psychological symptoms

Agitation

Reduced ability to interpret other people’s emotions*

Increased feelings of distrust towards other people*

Paranoia

Hallucinations

Increased chance of substance abuse

Confusion*

Memory loss*

Impaired ability to learn*

Increased risk of developing false memories

Suicidal thoughts and urges

Delirium

Markedly reduced concentration*

Consistently underestimating their level of impairment*

Impaired ability to think logically*

Increase in depressive and anxious symptoms, possibly inducing depression and anxiety

Reduced creativity*

Reduced problem solving ability*

Reduced ability to plan*

Increased risk of violent behaviour

Symptoms similar to psychosis in the long term

Long term effects

These aren’t symptoms exactly, these are a list of conditions people who are chronically sleep deprived are more likely to get. They develop several years later, usually in the 40-50s at the earliest.

Any amount of sleep deprivation is thought to increase the chances of these conditions but the longer and more consistently a character is sleep deprived the more likely they are.

Diabetes

Cancer (various kinds)

Heart failure (and coronary heart disease)

Strokes

Dementia, especially Alzheimer’s

Higher miscarriage rates

Vaccines may be less effective if the person was sleep deprived before the vaccine was administered because the immune response is suppressed. Research on this isn’t quite as thorough yet and it isn’t clear if the smaller immune response actually equates to less immunity against the real disease.

Sleep deprivation is also thought to increase weight gain. It makes people feel hungrier and crave unhealthy foods. While not nearly as serious as the other effects here it is a noted long term effect and as such I felt it needed to be included. Especially since there is a correlation between higher weight and sleep disorders.

How torturers deprive people of sleep.

Sleep deprivation is sometimes portrayed as a ‘modern’ innovation. This is untrue. Scottish witch trials used it heavily in attempts to force confessions and the Spanish Inquisition explicitly forbid its use (they thought the delirium and hallucinations would prevent victims from truly confessing and repenting their sins).

Not all of these methods would result in total sleep deprivation (ie absolutely no sleep in 24 hours). Some of them would lead to less sleep, poor sleep or disrupted sleep. This is still profoundly harmful.

Some of these methods could fit easily with a historical setting. Some wouldn’t. Some would work better in a pseudo-interrogation or forced confession scenario. If you’re planning on using sleep deprivation in your story pick a method that you feel fits your plot and setting best.

And if you’re not planning on using sleep deprivation but you see something you have used on this list take a moment to think about what you might be implying.  

Poor cell conditions including:

-Constant light

-Constant noise

-Insufficient room to sleep

-Wet cells

-Extreme temperatures in cells

-Lack of beds and bedding

Stress positions such as forced standing. These are generally used for between 24-48 hours continuously meaning they’re automatically combined with sleep deprivation.

Constant use of restraints, especially if the restraints stop the character from fully extending their limbs or fully lowering their limbs.

Forced exercise such as forced walking (this was used in Scottish witch trials).

Forced labour for prolonged periods.

Guards disturbing the sleep of prisoners. For example shaking people awake every few minutes.

Prolonged interrogation without rest such as relay interrogation. Relay interrogation involves switching interrogators regularly so that prisoners can be kept in interrogation for over 24 hours at a time.

Starvation, hunger reduces our ability to sleep well and get as much sleep as we need. When combined with poor cell conditions poor sleep becomes inevitable.

Denying medical treatment to injured characters.

Poor sleep in survivors

Most of the long term symptoms of torture have the potential to disrupt sleep.

Depression, anxiety, hypervigilance and suicidal thoughts can all prevent survivors getting to sleep and disrupt sleep.

PTSD often involves intense nightmares which can both disturb sleep and make a survivor dread falling asleep. The majority of PTSD sufferers have difficulty sleeping.

Chronic pain can prevent sleep and many of the drugs commonly used to treat it can also lead to disturbed sleep. Like commonly abused addictive drugs pain medication can lead to poor quality sleep.

This doesn’t necessarily mean every survivor will have trouble sleep or be sleep deprived. While a lot of people with mental health problems have poorer sleep not everyone does. Medication for depression and anxiety can sometimes help people sleep and this in turn can reduce the intensity of symptoms.

Think about the combination of symptoms you’ve chosen for your character and consider whether they could lead to long term sleep loss.

Our need for sleep isn’t something we can debate, bribe or drug away. It’s a fundamental part of our biology.

Losing sleep is serious, being actively deprived of it is abusive. Be aware of what your story is doing and be prepared to show the consequences.

Sources

Why Torture doesn’t work: The Neuroscience of Interrogation by S O’Mara, Harvard University Press, 2015

Why We Sleep by M Walker, Penguin, 2017 - This book contains references to a lot of sleep research papers and is a very good introduction to the subject. Walker and Jagust conducted research together on the link between lack of sleep and Alzheimer’s. He also recommends D Dinges’ (University of Pennsylvania) body of work on sleep and concentration, response time and car accidents.

The Mystery of Sleep by M Kryger, Yale University Press, 2017

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