#im talking about the book btw
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Why did no one told we To Kill a Mocking Bird was that insanely good??? The POV is so interesting, i went half blind into it (i only knew the basic stuff) and I love this. Im halfway through and im pretty sure I haven’t been bored once!
#im talking about the book btw#to kill a mockingbird#im not american so no#it was not a school reading for me#but honestly it should it’s much easier to read than i expected#tkam
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Behold. Baby Gideon.
So when Harrow has a very bad time while traveling trough the River for the first time in Harrow the Ninth and sees the dead children of the Ninth House, including a baby Gideon with face-paint, the intensity of the moment was kind of dampened by the mental image that popped in my head.
Just the idea of Gideon with face-paint makes me think of her on the cover with the sunglasses. Ergo, baby Gideon with sunglasses.
#the locked tomb#tlt#tlt art#tlt fanart#gideon nav#harrow the ninth#harrow the ninth spoilers#my art#idle art#idle chatter#im only like. a 100th pages into harrow the ninth btw so do NOT come into the tags or replies of this talking about any kind of plot#other than the first book. anything after that and i will punt you straight into dominicus#reference (and the image that popped in my head) is from the game dream daddy: a dad dating simulator
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and thinking about the difference between bill and fiddleford when it comes to fords hands and fords 'genius'
bill makes fords polydactyly a focal point, something impossible to ignore. he tells ford that he'll fit right in with bills band of "freaks" all because his hands are a little different than other humans. he never lets him forget it, even if he says it as something to be proud of, but he and everyone else knows that ford kinda never stopped holding onto the insecurity that was associated with this trait. bill also never let ford forget his smarts, he played into the what ford always wanted to hear about his smarts, but fords brain was only ever a tool to bill. fords hands were (part of) a reason bill wanted to bring him along in his crew, and fords mind was simply a means to an end
and then we have fiddleford who, upon meeting ford for the first time, immediately saw ford as this genius who cared about what he had to say and they connected over their shared love for all that nerd stuff, and it was something that was important to them both and brought them together, and kept them together
and fiddleford says he didnt even notice, after hours and hours of sitting in a room with ford and them focused on eachother (and math)... he didnt even notice that fords hands were different until afterward, when he was looking at a photo of them both. this thing ford had been forced to worry about his whole life, and it wasnt even a thing to fiddleford.
ford wanted to be known, to be loved, for his brain and what he could do. and, in my opinion, it sometimes feels like he almost wanted to make up for the fact he was different, to prove he wasnt 'less than' because of some difference he was born with, this thing that everyone made such a big deal out of
and between the two biggest people in his life (aside from his brother of course lmao), one focused on and made a big deal out of his difference, and the other didnt even notice it. one saw his genius as a tool, and the other saw it as something amazing and admirable.
hell, if the bit of their conversation in the book of bill when they meet is, well, when they meet and is their first words to eachother... the first name or nickname that bill calls ford is, of course, sixer. and one of the first things fiddleford calls ford... is friend.
and i just feel like it says a lot about those two relationships and him.
#my post#gravity falls#stanford pines#bill cipher#fiddleford mcgucket#i might be slightly wrong here fjajfj feel free to (nicely) correct me on shit im just saying thoughts yknow#THIS ISNT ME BEING AGAINST EITHER SHIP BTW i literally ship both. obviously for different reasons between the two#im mainly referencing the picture from the website when you type 'sorry'#and the first few pages of the lost journal 3 pages of the book of bill#(and the pages just before those where bill talks about first seeing ford and declaring him both a genius *and* an idiot)#having the book of bill within arms reach of my bed is really convenient for subtle brainrot#fml doesnt stan also call him sixer im fucking tired i cant remember if im making that up or not#im not unpacking that rn
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Hiiiii guess who finished her pmv. finally. um enjoy :3
#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#valyrianscrolls#cersei lannister#and a bunch of others I don't feel like tagging them#wrote some of them in the desc if you scroll past my ramblings. the others I hope you can tell by context clues i believe in u#my art#pmv#it's finally joever oh my god#i dont want to look at it ever again. this is my child and I'm abandoning it at your doorstep 🏃♂️💼#btw confession time I started this before finishing adwd so like if you notice book inaccuracies. just ignore it#tbh towards the end i was just kinda going off the song lyrics more than anything#also like her hair should not be that long I think. the show poisoned my brain bc they do fuck all for like a year post walk#n e way ill talk about it more tomorrow probably. im gonna be so annoying about this btw I WILL force you to watch it#istg if it flops 🔪
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The official synopsis for s2 + the poster of Louis holding the bloody opera mask 😳
#s2 will be mad!! btw im a non book reader so i have no idea whats gonna happen at the theatre everyone is talking about!!#iwtv#iwtv series#interview with the vampire#louis de pointe du lac#lestat de lioncourt#louistat#louis x lestat#lestat x louis#sam reid#jacob anderson
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HEY LADS FUN FACT: I've been reading To Shape A Dragon's Breath and i love it dearly And I must recommend it!♡♡
[Some (mild?) spoilers under the break]
LITERALLY The only reason I didnt squeal is bcuz i was in class.
BUT SCRAMING!!! OMFG!!! OMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!!
HELLO hi yes I've been AWFULLY invested in Anequs & Libertys relationship... ouggh...
The amount of HEARTS I annotated on just these 2 pages....sorry i lomv them...
Like literally Anequs's FIRST thought about Liberty... and when they next meet?? Ouugh???♡♡
Some more misc lil moments of theirs i annotated. Sorry these aren't taken with full readability but I can't retake them rn so 😭😭
#ramblez brambles#To Shape A Dragon's Breath#To Shape A Dragon's Breath spoilers#i dknt think this book has much of a fandom but... omg pls its so good..#first in a series too#need to draw fanart frfr....#Anequs my bisexual (poly?) queen ily#jdjdkdkkfkffk#sorry i feel there's more to say bcuz there's SO MUCH good about this book#but rn im mush about these two so.#excuse my interticulation rn lol#PLS talk to me about this book if you're so inclined... its soo...augjjg#gem stop yapping in ur tags#TSADB#tbc by “not much of a fandom” i (v fortunately!!♡♡) mean its just a tad small. from what I've been able to find#not that theres like Nothing. like with A Magic Steeped In Poison#ALSO v good book btw. i need to read the 2nd in the duology still but jdsjdjdm
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new tumblr community feature... maybe this is the solution to my "where to hold my book club" problem....
#this is about rereading tsc in preparation for twp book club btw#which should probably start soon ish?? since its a lot of book even if you don't include the historical parts or extras#idk im waiting for a confirmed release date to work off of but I didnt consider if that doesnt time.... something to ponder ig#bella talks
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Penelope looks like she's been run over by a chariot for a split second, lust glazing her eyes over, before she grimaces in regret. “I do not have any equipment right now,��� She says
Does this mean that ody likes getting pegged
i mean even if somehow the actual canonical/ historical odysseus somehow WASNT getting pegged which i find highly highly unlikely, theres no way, i can feel penelopes big dick energy from hundreds of generations down the line- he still would have loved it. he would have not been getting any strap apart from phantom dick and dirty talk but he still would love it. there is NO WAY he doesnt.
(check tags)
#nsft#in fact anon now u have made me want to write a fic where they dont have telemachus for that one year cause ody is too busy getting pegged#“you know at some point youll have to switch around” “penny nooooo-”#very enthusiastically throws himself into her lap at all times of day#why do u think he has good thighs#odypen#they have secret signals for it too like ody will just come in and kiss her on the cheek during gatherings#and penelope will just sit there frozen as he leaves eye twitching not talking to her family whos come over#and then suddenly goes the equivalent of 'im no better than a man' and fucking books it out of there#also once more theyre very kink community elder coded. to me.#penelope#this was from the odypenath fic btw#in conclusion mr my wife can do whatever she wants odysseus would very happily be pegged both before and after#ooh also it gives penelope an outlet to be rough!! imagine early days odypen where hes just crooning at her that he can take it#hair pulled back legs spread “come on wife you can do better than that”#-a man whos about to stay in bed for the next two days
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Posting memes that took me 6 seconds to make getting over 50 reblogs vs. my deep charater analysis posts getting 3 likes from the same 3 people who, like all my other posts, is SO social media coded.
As outkast says, "Yall don't wanna hear me you just wanna dance."
But those of you who do wanna hear me AND dance- What do you want from the gas station?
#forest speaks facts#just thoughts btw im not at all trying to shame anyone#and no numbers really never mattered to me but I absolutely adore thread conversations about the deeper levels of a charater#compared to just the reblogs?? like yeah theyre nice but man I really wanna lowkey have deep meaningful conversation#like where are the nerds that highschool 'warned' me about that will wanna do nothing but talk about comic books?? hello! im here!#where is everybody#i brought an essay as to why Cherik is just Hilson in a different font.#and id like to read it to the class but the class is empty..
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i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.
so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.
putting the rest under the cut because it ended up being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.
thus, when i refer to mizu as nonbinary, i am interpreting mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that when i say nonbinary, it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.
okay before i go deeper i'd just like to address some important things. first of all, this post is an analysis of canon, and thus everything i am arguing for is about my own interpretation of the show, and not some baseless projected headcanon i am projecting onto the character. please remember there is a difference between an interpretation (subjective; interpretations will differ from viewer to viewer, but ultimately it is firmly rooted in evidence taken from the source material) VS a headcanon (unrelated and often even contrary to what is presented in canon; opinions wildly differ and they cannot be argued for because there is no canonical evidence to back it up).
ALSO please note that nonbinary is an umbrella term. this means that it applies to a vast range of gender identities. other identities that fall under the nonbinary umbrella include agender, bigender, genderfluid, and so on. however, it's my personal preference to use the term nonbinary as it is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels (more power to you if you do like them and find they suit you more though!).
also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.
the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.
which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.
anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no singular way to identify as anything, as everyone's views on gender, especially their own, is specific and personal to the individual.
so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading of the text. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.
me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or not always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is a very inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised racial identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. thus it is important to note that these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*
* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—
nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.
on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.
thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.
as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns for her, but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier to use in fanfic (singular they is confusing to write stories with, but again, that's just my feelings on it, and this is coming from someone who uses they/they pronouns). i also lean towards she/her because it's what the creators and all the official promotional copywriting of the show uses. and even though i am a "death to the author" enjoyer, i feel that when interpreting things that are left open-ended, it does help to look at the creators' take on things. also because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does, constantly.
also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my argument.
so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.
TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.
#shut up haydar#fandom.rtf#meta dissertations.pdf#mizu blue eye samurai#mizu bes#blue eye samurai#blue eye samurai meta#sorry if this is redundant btw i just cant stop thinking thoughts :3#btw i am a mixed* southeast asian who is also nonbinary. just in case that's important context#by mixed* i mean i'm asian+asian but diff ethnicities lol. i dont have a white bone in my body god bless<3#my whiteness is purely learned thru cultural osmosis + bcs my parents taught me english as a first language (boooo 🍅🍅🍅)#also i live in the global south so i think EYE know a thing or two about being gnc in a society of rigid awful gender roles‼️#so likeee i think its ridiculous that its an either-or thing#mizu can be nonbinary while still being a woman of colour ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also ummm as much as i love queer themes and gay people i wish people would talk more about the racial otherness / community aspect#as mentioned in the post above#you don't need to read bhabha's whole book btw but just take a look at some of his ideas and you'll get what im talking about#like the fact that the fandom mostly ignores those themes in the story makes me feel like :( :/#cuz to me THATS the thing that spoke to me most and its a shame that its just not talked about enough#i mean i know why thats likely the case. but still.#whoops im rambling again 🤪
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CAUSE THIS IS THRILLER (bark), THRILLER (bark) NIGHT
Usopp's outfit is so funny for reals
He got the whole squad laughing
Luffy enablers at it again.... (Robin.... I know.....)
The humor panels so far have been so good!!! God this arc is so funny
HE SAID IT‼️‼️
They look like birds 😭😭
It's just too good... luffy taking cerberus and zombies what can't he do
It's just banger after banger what can I say
Franky feeling for other people because of his guilt complex and sanji lying through his teeth and pulling out the women excuse to seem unaffected... yeah
Look at them.... look how they ate
Omg joyboy reference?? (No)
Sanji is rubbing off on usopp.... also chopper noticing that is sogeking's weapon akdhaksjak
ANOTHER SLAY!!!!!
Their priorities: I'm not strong enough, there isn't enough food, and nami isn't here
Franky going from wanting to kill brook for his jokes to making a joke like his after he hears his backstory... exactly (Robin was already enabling him before the backstory even fdagjsfha)
Sanji is altering his body and actually being on fire to communicate to us how fucking mad he is..... I need more of him going insane I do I do
My god what is he doing ALDJALAJALA
AHSAHAHQHAH THEY ARE THE SAME!!! naaah sanji wouldn't force a woman to be his wife
You cant see me but I am nodding my head in agreement over and over
You don't understand he altered his body to communicate to us how mad he is. He inploded himself and then reconstituted again. Those germa 66 genes are insane
You tell em usopp!!!! The first of many girls you've scared into defeat!!! Akdjqknql
Zoro zombie regressed to not trusting robin akdjaks he's still in there
ROBI-CHO SUPLEX??? HELL YEAAAAAH
There is zosa- [GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT]
Super frapper gong.... he is doing combo shots with frobin... omg.... parents....
Everything is so fun I'm having such a good time reading.... and then zosan angst like damn I am being fed well here
#in the anime the guys didn't say they wanted to die aldjlajala for the kids luffy just wants to turn into a clam#thriller bark is so funny.... 'worst arc' my ass.... it's funny as hell and then we get zosan angst. best thing ever#same with skypiea but there we got really nice relationships betwen characters and nolan x calgara homoeroticism for the ages#and LORE for the ages. not like the kuma incident won't be talked about in the history books but yeah#everyone calling absalom perv salom... yeah#sanji in that fucking penguin never gets old.... also HELLO LOLA#moira fought against kaido and lost akdjsksnks is that why he became a warlord? just like whitebeard defeated crocodile?? out of spite??#also what is the land of ice where moira got oars? he also mentioned it before too... i thot he was referring to ryuma so it was wano but n#the legend of the continent puller who built a nation of villains.... okay okay oars....#oars was killed 500 years ago.... ✍️✍️ this somehow feels important bc of its closeness to the void century etc#zombie luffy oars wanting sanjis food.... 🚬🚬🚬 of course.....#oars luffy maintaining his dream... yeah yeah. also namis outfits for this arc are so sickening.... i miss them already#the zombie generals being at absalom's wedding... thats so funny..#luffy oars is so funny aldjslsn just making himself a hat and steering his giant ship... of course#you guys think they are going to make sanji mad about the clear clear fruit in the opla or completely ignore it bc his reasoning is bad#like it makes sense with the wci backstory it does but that would be spoilers lmao. so its either he wants to peep on women or nothing#i love the greek chorus of the two zombies telling the audience how they are both as bad in that regard. amazing#did ryuma use french for his attack.... there is zosan everywhere for tho-[GUNSHOTS]#zombie ryuma's design is also cool as hell.... his blood is literally fire.... come on now....#also zoro says he wants to act like this fight didnt happen... is that why he says fuck all in wano to hiyori? damn. he said i put shame#in you and your country but i will keep it quiet bc you gave me a cool sword and fight and i am actually so honorable. thats him yeah...#zombie zoro and sanji remaining tfait being that they hate (love fighting) each other... there is zosa-[GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT]#i forgot how much oars destroyed them... after enies lobby they seem untouchable but without their captain there... the gears are turning..#also btw i cannot believe im gonna get an answer about why the skypieans and the shandians have wings. thats insane#i am enjoying luffy oars so much it is so fun. trying to enjoy it bc i know i won't be laughing anymore once sabaody kicks in.... fuck me..#usopp and franky wanting to wait for luffy to beat oars down but zoro and sanji know... and they will KNOW soon enough....#i forgor kuma asked about ace to nami... what is going on. kuma coming from the warlord meeting too.... did he want to warn him??#he wanted to inform moria about balckbeard becoming a warlord omg here we go.... also moria being racist towards kuma hello???#and he strictly follows the government.... until here bc he lets luffy go.... christ.... he asks about ace bc he knew what blackbeard did..#reading one piece
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me when im crazy about two characters that dont even know each other.
Thank you to @oathofkaslana for writing the id for this!!
#Paper’s art#Paper’s genshin art#Sayu#amber#genshin impact#hey guys.#hey. Guys. What if i exploded#I could go on and on and on#If i was writing this a little earlier then i probably would#BUT !!#i lied im gonna talk now#Ok so sayus sensei. Ambers grandpa.#they were both mentor/ parental figures and very very important to amber and sayu#And then they left and never came back and didnt tell them much if anything at all.#And their leaving caused sayu and amber to get their visions.#Both of them were trying to figure what to do after their sensei/grandpa left#I feel like im not explaining this very well but whatever#Sauy and amber are soo similar guys#amber’s book about flying courage#Sayu’s vision story about weakness and strength#ALSO THE WINDDD#Sayu wouldve died probably if there wasnt wind!!#The wind blew and she got away by turning into leaves!!!!!!! Also anemo vision#The amber bird book!! The wind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The bird had courage and jumped!! And it flew becuase the wind came!!! Also wind glider#Btw i put the leaves and the birds in the comic becaue of that but whatever#Also theres more but idk idk idk lets talk about who the sensei is#As far as we know from the game- we know like ntohing. The only things we know from sayu is that they’re taller than sayu and smiles pretty#So why did i make the sensei kazuha’s friend? Because why not.#When i first heard about sayus sensei thats who popped into my head so ill stick with it. It also explains why sensei didnt come back yet#Ok theres no more tag space left
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grief in the city, or "how many days off will i get when my lover dies of consumption next march"
Expanding from this post (@puffles HI) or mostly just trying to write it out in a readable fashion. (lor spoilers ahead yeehaw 📚)
Just been thinking. Death in the pmverse city. It's not something you're really allowed to get personal with. But some people just can't help it.
In lobocorp we get a look at what it's like from the inside of a corporation, and like yeah the entire story is about it, but to me Yesod's parts more than anyone else's showcase this feeling.
(Yesod core suppression dialogue)
The question of detachment comes up pretty often, and he points out Malkuth's as the ideal behavior to cope with it- forgetting you're dealing with humans as much as you can. Through his arc in lobocorp he struggles with it, this idea that it can all be fine if he stops thinking of the others as having a face, a name, and most importantly (for him) a body. Of course a strategy like that stops working as soon as one remembers, as one gets closer. That is one of the main themes of lor.
We're introduced to Xiao midway through the game, and her story unfolds as we start to learn about Roland's. The way she describes herself is similar to how A talks about Yesod, though Xiao doesn't feel special for it. The softness of her (at the time) coworker Lowell confounds her.
(Xiao's key page)
Then the invitation reaches her, and therefore the news of Lowell's death, and this changes. Her reaction is intense, she describes it vividly. And it feels... kind of natural considering the martial culture of her workplace? Specifically for an Association whose mechanics literally run off emotion levels.
(Liu S1 reception)
But we immediately see that no, to everyone else this seems like an overreaction to losing a partner. We see it from Chun's reaction, then Angela's, who suggests she simply finds a substitute for Lowell, and Roland himself is surprised by it: he muses about the Light influencing the people of the City: this is such a strange thing it gets compared to the goddamn Distortion! When we take a look at Lowell's own book it seems to confirm that out of the two he's always been the one with the more unconventional mindset.
(Lowell's key page)
It's not groundbreaking to say one should care about their partner, but it feels like in the City this isn't really the case? It feels like having someone you cherish becomes something of a nuisance as it can interfere with a Fixer's ability to... well, work. Roland, though affected for obvious reasons, tells Angela about it briefly enough, and it seems it's not particularly noteworthy, having romantic entanglements but also losing them pretty quickly. It's something that happens, that you're supposed to deal with easily enough, and go back to work.
(Liu S2 second reception)
Instead Xiao's feelings lead her to do the direct opposite; it's noteworthy that before her reception she resigns from the Association, and immediately justifies herself to her subordinates by letting them know this shouldn't affect their careers. It's worth noting that Roland's story is marked by a similar situation, once he's exposed in his revenge quest, he loses his Color title as well as his Fixer grade. In both situations we find that the question of how to deal with Survival (being a survivor to the person you love) can't escape from the problem of Survival (how to make a living). The death of another puts you in actual danger if you actually care about them.
In light of this, Lowell's hopes and promises for Xiao read differently. His apparent softness and sensitivity reveals itself as something he can handle very rationally; aware of how deeply their feelings run, he asks her to vow to always watch over herself.
(Liu S1 reception)
Instead Xiao, and we later learn about Roland, embrace the horror of what's happened to them, and show us what it's like to go into the deep end of this grief; it's a deviation from what we might consider normal or #HEALTHY, but it's also a display of feeling that usually people of the City just... don't allow themselves to have. I don't wanna ramble about this too long, but since limbus vaguely uses the Divine Comedy as a source, in Dante terms I would say: while Xiao and Roland commit sins of excess of love, letting their anger over their loved ones take them over, the people of the City in general commit the sin of sloth, "laziness of the heart", it's people who refuse to let any kind of attachment in their heart, because it's simply easier not to deal with them. Roland's arc touches on it quite often.
(Natural Sciences realization)
Though Roland does eventually turn out to be, well. A big deal, a lot of his behavior in the library is supposed to show him as a kind of everyman of the City. In moments where he talks like this, he's expressing what it actually feels like for most people to live in there. This heavily contrasts with Xiao's own beliefs, the ones she develops through her love, and that leads to her EGO manifestation.
(Liu S1 reception)
By the end we also know that the truth is Roland's own mindset isn't quite the one he tries to preach ("that's that and this is this"), but the grief over the loss of Angelica, and more generally the pain for the life he's always had, still weighs so heavy on him he isn't able to just start again- he doesn't want to! As the stories goes on and he faces the horrors of the City together with Angela, even this facade of "sloth" fades away, and his actual feelings start to show, the love and the anger and all of the grief- he starts to resonate with the abnos as Angela did, a similar experience to distorting.
While Roland has a lot of interesting dialogue, it'd take a whole other post to talk about it (I'm sure someone smarter has done it already) so for the purposes of this and to keep on topic I only wanna talk about a little bit that Xiao doesn't touch on, and that feels relevant with the perspective of canto VI.
(Black Silence "soulmates" reception)
In one of the darkest moments, we get a (can I say it now?) ⛈ HEARTBREAKING ⛈ confession straight from the inside of Roland's mind, the fear that in choosing to move on he'll have abandoned Angelica and all they meant for each other. The "pair of linked souls" is tied on a mechanical level, to beat them you need to disrupt their soul link, a buff they give each other that makes them basically unbeatable- they keep each other alive. Roland's fear, after years of Fixer work, after seeing how little value a person's life has in the eyes of the City, is this: that the second he looks away from Angelica's death and his attempt to avenge it, he'll have forsaken her forever, that their love and life together will lose its meaning.
Only with the help of the librarians and particularly Angela he's able to accept that's not the case, and in the final reception he once again wields her name and her gloves, carrying on her legacy and memory for the sake of the future and the new people he wants to protect.
Finally, I wanna show an incredibly interesting piece of dialogue from Leviathan, between Vergilius and Carmen.
(Leviathan chapter 18, translation by @/SnakeskinFS on twitter)
Now, Carmen's take on love is... something. Love as she means it is what we know to bring to Distortion, but it is interesting that the actual implication in the world she draws up is what the people of the City need back is contact with one another, understanding. It's also interesting Vergilius calls it a word he's unaccustomed to. Obviously here it doesn't apply strictly to romantic love, but this does check out with how little we get to see City residents... well, loving each other.
Xiao for Lowell, Roland for Angelica, as well as honestly Carmen for herself, her vision for the future, stand out in crowds of cordial coworkers and friends of circumstances, for the strength of their feelings, love in its danger and beauty. The paths they end up following are messy, some very bloody, and done in remembrance of the people they valued above all else. It's the theme of love that entwines so closely with that of death, the question of what you do when you're the one surviving and left behind.
So here's where I think of canto VI- WH is so heavily defined by grief. This is partially tied to its literary influences, partially to the author's own experience, but the story is scarred by the various funerals, each of which changes someone's life, mostly for the worse.
Is this malicious? A little. A little... not? Like in the City, the feeling is that the dead, the memory of them, follow because they love the living. When we get to Cathy's death, she and Heathcliff curse each other back and forth before making peace again, but in the end more than their harshness, what hits the most is the connection, the yearning to be reunited- "I care nothing of your sufferings" is soon followed by "I'm not wishing you greater torment than I have", which leads into the Heartbreaking speech, that we already know will be very relevant in the canto, in which Heathcliff takes her pain as his.
NOW I see readings/speculation around that this will be portrayed as lcb Cathy trying to tie Heathcliff to his past forever/them needing to Kill Her, and metaphorically his affection for her in order for him to move on and become his own person, to which I say: meh? I think that misses part of the point, makes her out to be a plot device instead of a character that, like him, has grown in an awful abusive household, and laments in her deathbed that she wishes things had been different, and that the person she loves could stay with her longer, after circumstances beyond their control have forced them apart.
By the end of it, though we know that in the book it doesn't really turn out like she'd like, Cathy claims she'd rather him remember her words, and her, as harsh and cruel than nurse anger while he lives on, she hates the thought that he should suffer more when she's gone, because she, too, feels his suffering as hers.
To me this last wish she expresses is most reminiscent of what we see of Lowell's request to Xiao, the way it's not fulfilled until the last minute. Xiao doesn't listen and she goes on, fully aware she's betraying the trust he put in her, and that she might be the next to die. Because of this betrayal, her feelings, this excess of love threatens to have the best of her, to make her forget about Lowell and focus only on herself and her anger- the "love of the self" that is the Distortion. Her final reception has her talking back to Carmen's proposal and worldview, detailing the way her bond with Lowell, but also Miris, Chun and all of her men, have been keeping her strong to this point.
(Xiao reception)
With the awareness her lover is dead and gone, she manages to work through her feelings and gain strength from them, deciding that these bonds, and her memory will keep all of them alive through each other.
SO am I saying this is totally happening to Heathcliff in canto VI. I mean, nah, not necessarily. But considering the similarities he shares with these other stories, and how we've already seen these examples of the theme of grief over a loved one being handled before in the previous games and resulting in these genuinely amazing characters, it's something I think about.
As we're talking about a game adaptation that obviously can't adapt 20 more years of story (and let's be real, shouldn't either. If you want to read WH you can just read WH,) I think that would be a reasonable way for the canto to play out: getting to see one of the sinners genuinely lose it over someone's death in a way none of the others really did, explicitly showing the uniqueness of such intense affection in a place like the City, and then slowly beginning the road to recovery. Much like for Xiao and Roland, this being done not as a result of leaving the past behind, but as a direct result of their love for another, and that of their lover as well as everyone else who cherishes them (Miris, Angela and the librarians- I think we'll soon add the sinners to the list).
(post core suppression dialogue)
To quote another bit from our bestie Yesod, the hope that grows out of the rot, as the death of another, but as your own wounded self as well.
So to conclude. I think in general, in the context of how we've seen major characters work around their grief in previous games it'd make sense for canto VI to reach a similar conclusion, the death being something that weighs heavily, but doesn't obscure the possibility of a future. Still. Love as something dangerous that has extreme power over us, but as something that lives in us and can't be taken away.
#bell.txt#limbus company#library of ruina#project moon#edit ok all screenies are captioned now. how did i write so much#its like barely even speculation im just putting together some stuff that gets me thinking about the general Vibe. i love u the city#xiao roland and heathcliff talk. dead wife club (honorific)#btw Did You Know: if canto vi releases on white day that means part 2 will release right after cathys book accurate death day. LOLLL#lcb heathcliff#xiao lor#roland lor#canto vi#edit 2: VINDICAAAAATION#patches of violet#canto vi talk
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I AM BEING FORCED TO ROLEPLAY AS SCYTHE FUCKING GODDARD FOR MY SCHOOLA SISIGNMRNT CAN SOMEONE END ME PLEASE END ME NOW
#CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME?? LIKE GIVE ME SOME POINTERS#arc of scythe#only talking about the first book btw I forgot literally everything else#IVE ANNOTATED HIS CHARACTER FRONT AND BACK BUT LIKE DESPITE ALLAT IM STILL REALLY SHIT AT ROLEPLAY#also I SUCK at 0aying these sorts of villains if he was creepy that’d be a different story but he’s just pompous#and greedy and sadistic and power hungry like YEAH he is KIND of creepy but not like. captain beatty#weird comparison but *vague hand gestures#scythe goddard#I actually think it’s really interesting how both he and scythe curie glean for the sake of solving stagnation#it’s just that scythe curie gleans handpicked stagnant people whereas#goddard thinks that EVERYONE is stagnant thus he feels the need to not only glean them but traumatize them as well#‘’remind them of their mortality’’ or whatever bs I CANT ACTUALLY TELL IF HES BEING GENUINE BUT#THATS WHAT I GOT FROM HIS JOURNALS#who knows maybe that’s just an excuse to end lives excessively ugh he’s such a#I don’t wanna say shallow character? but. but#SOMEBODY HELP ME? PLEASE?#I WANNA GO BACK TO F451ING
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writing this apology months before it happens but i am so sorry for the person i am going to become eventually. i am getting into warhammer 40k
#ive not touched the lore yet but miguel gifted me so many minis to paint and im slowly picking it up... and i have a big lore book too#that i rly rly wanna get into when i can and actually like. fucking KNOW what him and the guys at the store talk about whenever we go there#like hello. i understand nothing thank you <3#btw if anyone knows abt 40k he assigned me tyrannids. he just decided those guys were for me#and he was right they genuinely really slap. alien bug freaks that consume everything and mimic other beings hell yes#anyways. let this be a warning. a prophecy even. the second i get into it i will not know peace and i will become incomprehensible#thunderclap#also i might as well start tagging#40k
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i wish we got to see more of the girls in the outsiders, most of them dont even have a role and were just mentioned once or twice, and almost all of them are seen as bad
and theyre ALL mentioned to be someone's girlfriend, can we have a girl outsider who's character ISNT revolved around a man and has a role?? thanks!!!!!
i know cherry exists but my point about them being seen as bad: majority of the fandom hates her (could go on FOREVER defending her but thats for another time)
#angel rambles🎀#im like weirdly intrigued by sylvia?? idk she was mentioned like twice total i think and BOTH times were about her cheating#but still#i really wanna know more about her#AND MARCIA#ate those 2 scenes up fr#sandy tho#um#we're not gonna get into that#also evie#she was mentioned like once and it was talking about steve#this is about OUTSIDERS btw not twttin#so don't go bringing up angela#love her tho#kinda forgot everything about twttin bc my friend is borrowing my book rn but i remember liking her#she did a couple bad things tho so im assuming people don't like her
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